#had to lock in for this one bc i don't even know
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mahalachives · 2 days ago
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hi!! i don't if requests are still upon but if you're free can you please write one where the reader is azriel's mate and they've been together for a while and the IC knows, and at one dinner they find out that she used to be like, a party animal and kinda a maneater and they're totally shocked bcs shes so calm and composed now.
and then the next night the girls ask her for like tips to reject guys and stuff like 'what's the most offensive thing you've said to a man?' or 'how to reject men?'
really sorry if its too long!!
The Shadow's Mate: A Past Revealed
pairing: azriel x f!reader
genre: slice of life, fluff
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The evening air was crisp as you made your way to the townhouse with Azriel, his shadows curling affectionately around your wrists. Six months since the mating bond had snapped into place, and still the Inner Circle dinners filled you with a mixture of joy and mild anxiety.
"You're quiet tonight," Azriel murmured, his hazel eyes searching yours."
You smiled up at him. "Just thinking."
His scarred hand squeezed yours gently. "About?"
"How different life is now." You leaned into his warmth. "And how much I prefer it."
Azriel's mouth quirked up at the corner, that small smile that only you could coax from him. "As do I."
The townhouse was already alive with chatter and laughter when you arrived. Feyre and Rhys were locked in what appeared to be a spirited debate about some painting technique, while Cassian and Nesta were arguing over knife-throwing techniques. Mor and Amren were deep in conversation about some jewelry merchant in the Rainbow.
"Finally," Cassian called out, grinning broadly as you both entered. "We thought we'd have to start without you."
"Some of us respect punctuality," Nesta remarked dryly, but there was no real bite to her words.
Dinner began as it always did – with wine flowing freely and conversation bouncing from topic to topic. Azriel kept his usual quiet vigil, though his shadows occasionally danced toward you, a secret gesture of affection that never failed to make your heart flutter.
"So," Mor said, refilling her wine glass for the third time, her cheeks flushed with a rosy glow, "I ran into the most awful male at Rita's last night. He tried to convince me his father owned half the Night Court."
"What did you tell him?" Elain asked, her eyes bright with curiosity.
Mor's grin was wicked. "That I'd introduce him to my cousin, the High Lord, and see if that checked out."
Laughter rippled around the table, and you couldn't help but join in.
"I swear, the males in this city are getting more ridiculous with their approaches," Mor continued, rolling her eyes. "Remember that one who tried to impress me by claiming he could outfly an Illyrian?"
"Did you dare him to try?" you asked before you could stop yourself, a hint of your old mischief slipping through.
Cassian barked a laugh. "I would have paid good money to see that."
"When I was at the Court of Nightmares," Feyre added, swirling her wine, "the number of propositions I received was absurd. One male offered me a collection of 'rare' paintings that were such obvious forgeries I nearly laughed in his face."
Something about the conversation loosened something inside you—a reminder of a different time, a different you.
"At least forgeries show some effort," you said, taking a sip of your wine. "I once had a male offer to buy me a drink with money he'd just borrowed from me."
The table fell momentarily silent, and you realized everyone was staring at you with varying degrees of surprise. Even Azriel's brows had inched up slightly.
"What?" you asked, suddenly self-conscious.
"You've never mentioned... dating before Azriel," Elain said delicately.
You glanced at your mate, who was watching you with that unreadable expression that had first drawn you to him. But there was a curious glint in his eyes now.
"Oh, I didn't date," you clarified with a casual wave. "Dating implies some level of commitment."
Cassian choked on his wine. Nesta patted his back, though her eyes never left you.
"You mean you..." Mor began, leaning forward with newfound interest.
"Had a rather active social life? Yes." You shrugged, a smile tugging at your lips. "Is that surprising?"
"Considering how you nearly fainted when Cassian made that joke about bedposts last month..." Rhys trailed off, his violet eyes dancing with amusement.
"That wasn't embarrassment," you corrected him. "That was me trying not to laugh at how tame it was."
Azriel's shadows curled with what you recognized as amusement, though his face remained mostly impassive.
"You're so... composed," Feyre said, gesturing vaguely in your direction. "So..."
"Proper?" you offered, and couldn't help but laugh. "I wasn't always. Before I moved to Velaris, I spent decades in the Autumn Court border towns. You develop certain... skills to navigate those environments."
"Skills," Amren repeated, her silver eyes gleaming with approval. "I bet you have stories."
"More than you'd believe," you admitted, feeling oddly liberated. You'd kept this part of yourself tucked away, unsure how it would fit with the dignified Inner Circle. Now you wondered why you'd bothered.
"Like what?" Cassian pressed, looking far too eager.
You caught Azriel's eye. His expression was one you knew well—silent encouragement, absolute acceptance.
"Well," you began, leaning forward conspiratorially, "there was the time I convinced three different males they were meeting me for a private rendezvous, only to have them all show up at the same tavern, at the same table..."
"No," Mor gasped delightedly.
"Oh yes. They were all from prominent Autumn Court families who were business rivals. I simply left them to figure it out while I slipped away with a rather expensive bottle of wine from behind the bar."
The table erupted in laughter, and something in your chest loosened even further.
"Why?" Nesta asked, a gleam of approval in her eyes.
"One of them had been particularly cruel to a friend of mine," you explained. "The other two were just collateral damage. And terrible flirts."
"I can't believe we never knew this about you," Feyre said, shaking her head in wonder.
You shrugged. "It wasn't relevant. That was before... everything." Your eyes drifted to Azriel.
"Before you tamed our shadowsinger?" Cassian teased.
You and Azriel exchanged a look that made Rhys clear his throat awkwardly.
"I wouldn't say 'tamed,'" you replied with a small smile.
"I think that's enough details for dinner," Rhys declared, though he was grinning.
The conversation shifted to other topics, but you could feel the occasional curious glances from the others. It was strange to have this part of yourself exposed, but not entirely unpleasant.
Later, as you and Azriel prepared to leave, he pulled you close in the quiet of the townhouse foyer.
"You never cease to surprise me," he murmured, his breath warm against your ear.
"Does it bother you?" you asked, suddenly uncertain. "Knowing I was so..."
"Free?" he offered. "Independent? Formidable?" His scarred fingers traced your cheek. "Why would I be bothered by the woman you were? She led you to me."
Your heart swelled as his lips found yours in a gentle kiss that quickly deepened into something more urgent.
"Take me home, shadowsinger," you whispered against his mouth.
His shadows enveloped you both, and the last thing you heard before the darkness swept you away was Cassian's distant whoop of approval.
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The following evening found you at Rita's, surrounded by the females of the Inner Circle. It had been Mor's idea—a "girls' night" she'd called it, though you suspected it was partially motivated by her desire to hear more about your previous life.
"So," Mor began after your second round of drinks, confirming your suspicions, "most offensive thing you've ever said to a male?"
You laughed, shaking your head. "That's a high bar."
"We have time," Nesta said dryly, though her eyes sparkled with interest.
You considered for a moment. "Probably when I told a particularly persistent suitor that I'd rather mate with one of the naga than endure another minute of his company."
Elain's eyes widened while Feyre and Mor dissolved into laughter.
"That's brutal," Feyre managed between giggles.
"He deserved it," you replied with a shrug. "He had grabbed my wrist when I tried to walk away."
"What happened?" Amren asked, sipping her blood-red wine.
"Let's just say he learned that not all females need Illyrian warriors to protect them." You smiled sweetly, and Nesta clinked her glass against yours in solidarity.
"I need your expertise," Mor declared, leaning forward. "Best way to reject a male without causing a scene?"
"Depends on the male," you replied thoughtfully. "For the entitled ones, nothing works better than complete indifference. Act as if they're invisible. They hate that more than outright rejection—it wounds their pride more deeply."
"Noted," Feyre said, looking impressed.
"For the genuinely decent ones who just aren't right for you," you continued, "honesty works best. A simple 'I'm flattered, but no' with direct eye contact."
"What about the handsy ones?" Nesta asked, her expression darkening at some memory.
"Ah, those." You leaned back in your chair. "Public embarrassment is effective. Loudly ask if they're feeling alright after that unfortunate rash cleared up. Works every time."
Elain nearly choked on her drink.
"What about the ones who just won't take no for an answer?" Feyre asked.
"That's when you employ the 'bait and switch,'" you explained. "Pretend to give them your address, but actually direct them to the most unpleasant location you can think of. In the Autumn Court, I once sent a particularly awful male to what I claimed was my private cottage. It was actually the local waste collection site."
Mor's head fell back as she howled with laughter. Even Amren's lips curled into an appreciative smile.
"You're a menace," Feyre said admiringly.
"Was," you corrected with a small smile. "Now I'm a perfectly respectable mate to a High Lord's shadowsinger."
"Speaking of," Nesta said with uncharacteristic curiosity, "how did you and Azriel actually get together? I can't imagine him navigating the games you used to play."
"He didn't have to," you said softly. "That's why it worked. He saw through everything—all the walls, all the games. He just... waited."
"That sounds like Az," Feyre murmured.
"It was terrifying," you admitted. "Someone who could see the real me when I'd spent so long hiding her."
"And now?" Elain asked gently.
You smiled, thinking of the quiet understanding that had grown between you and Azriel, the safety you'd found in his shadows.
"Now I don't have to play games anymore. It's... peaceful."
"Cauldron save me," Mor groaned dramatically. "Az has domesticated you."
"Oh, I wouldn't say that," you replied with a wicked grin that made even Nesta raise her eyebrows. "Some skills never fade."
Later, when you arrived home to find Azriel waiting, his shadows reached for you before he did—always so eager, so honest in their affection.
"Did you have a good evening?" he asked, pulling you close.
"Enlightening," you replied, wrapping your arms around his neck. "They think you've tamed me."
His low chuckle rumbled through his chest. "Should I tell them it's the other way around?"
"Let them wonder," you whispered, standing on tiptoe to brush your lips against his. "Some mysteries are worth keeping."
As his wings enfolded you both in a cocoon of shadow and starlight, you silently thanked the Cauldron for leading you here—from the wild, guarded creature you'd been to someone who could finally be herself, completely and without fear, in the arms of a male who cherished every version of you that had ever existed.
End.
Note: hope you enjoyed! I had fun writing this. ❤️
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midnightshindig · 5 hours ago
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I've had the idea of another Multi-Paul drabble rolling around in my head, so bare with me:
Think of him getting out of prison in the newer episode and meeting up with his s/o who he left behind after getting locked up. The both of them having a dramatic meet-up after s/o was sure she wouldn't be seeing him for a while
(maybe he gets a lil handsy (´ 3`))
MultiPaul x Reader
no nsfw for this one, still debating my feelings on the dude for the time being.
I've been getting some questions about how I pick and choose who I will or won't write for, write smut for, etc. I'll keep it real: sometimes it's just bc I don't want to. An NSFW alphabet is different than a full oneshot or drabble, or consistent requests. I stand by my character list pinned to the top of my profile, although feel free to check it every now and again to see if its changed
thank you! hcs, like always, under the cut!
There had been only a couple of things on Paul's mind since being imprisoned:
The Order should be getting him soon
If they didn't, he was going to be killed, so he couldn't share The Order's secrets
If he died, he wouldn't make it home to you
So the motivation for escape was clear
He didn't want to die and he COULDN'T die before getting to see you
On those restless nights on that hard prison bed, he could see you, waiting for him, so far away, all alone in your shared apartment
You were probably feeding his pitbull, Xerox
Multi-Paul was suddenly very grateful you two got along so well
it quelled his anxieties, slightly, to know you werent' completely defenseless in his absence.
it'd been a few months
god
a few MONTHS
Paul was going a little stir crazy
You couldn't visit, lest you be outed as an affiliate of him
and he couldn't have every superhero and villain in a twenty mile radius gunning for you
The thought of Machine Head or even Titan being around you made him sick
You didn't belong in a world like that
his world
No, he shook his head to himself, folding his arms and leaning against the wall of his cell
that wasn't all his world was, not anymore
You had a way of broadening his horizons
ugh. he couldn't help but miss you, it chewed away at him, and made the maddeningly claustrophobic walls of his container all the more frustrating
So, when the opportunity presented itself, he escaped
he'd brutalize and kill and maime as many copies of himself as it took to get to you
god knows it would be worth it
Not even Atom Eve could contain him, not when he had you on the agenda
All the while, you HAD been lonely
It'd been just you and Xerox in that homely apartment, too empty and too hollow without Paul around
You knew this was the risk of his occupation, and couldn't even claim to be surprised
but you couldn't visit
you couldn't call
you couldn't tell anyone about what you were going through
you felt so completely and utterly alo-
"Hey babe"
"Holy shit-" you shot up from your seat on the couch and directed your attention to
"Paul!" running over, you threw your arms around you, allowing him to swing you around ceremoniously
He set you down gently, pressing you into a sweet kiss "I missed you" he sounded worn down, if not absolutely exhausted by whatever he'd gone through before coming to you
You rested a hand of his face, gently supporting his heavy head "Oh, Paul.... are you safe?"
He sucked a sharp breath in though his teeth, looking at the door hesitantly "ehhhh....." he looked back and shrugged half-heartedly "Sort of? They think they still have me."
A sly smile broke out across his face, revelling in his own talent and capability
The talent and capability that brought him home
His moment of self-appreciation was broken by your sniffling
"Wh- Y/n?"
You were crying quietly, trying to wipe it all away with your fists, getting your tears all over your hands and making it worse
"Oh- Fuck- uh-" he wrapped you into a soft hug, pressing your head into his chest "It's okay, babe, I'm here"
You hit his chest with your fists gently "I didn't think I was going to see you for months- YEARS- Paul." Your anger was filled with an unmistakable sense of fear and deep loneliness
Oh... you poor thing....
Paul couldn't help but press a reassuring kiss to the top of your head
"It's okay, Y/n, you know I'm the best at what I do."
"They GOT YOU, Paul. You were in there for MONTHS and I was ALONE." your desperation to be understood caused your throat to crack up, and your voice strained
He didn't realize you were this pained- or, no, he did, he just never expected to be so directly confronted with it
but here you were, here he was, everything was fine
and you sobbed a little harder into his chest, ruining his prison shirt
"I don't want to lose you, Paul. I love you."
He gently brushed his fingers over your hair, smoothing out the flyaways
"It's okay, I'm here now, I'm here now."
"Don't do that to me, ever again, okay?" you asked between sniffles
His expression softened as he nodded "Of course not, of course not. I got you. I've got you." He leaned down and kissed you again, your tears staining his face, but he didn't care
You'd calmed down a bit, and Paul took this as an opportunity
"do you want to sit down for a bit? We can... order dinner?" he proposed, eliciting a small smile from you
"That sounds nice, can I choose?"
He faked a gasp "Y/n, I've been eating prison food for months!"
You smacked his shoulder with a bigger smile "Too bad, we're getting Indian food."
He fake-groaned, slumping onto your shoulders "Boo- y/n, you know I hate indian food"
"Paul, stop, you looooove indian food."
He grinned, pressing a kiss to your cheek "Yeah yeah, you got me."
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angelofverdum · 6 hours ago
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Yellowjackets 3x07
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"I'm not family but we have a very intense trauma bond."
This episode was very entertaining and full of rush. I blinked and it was over, but it was clearly a set-up episode for the shit that it's about to go down for the rest of the season.
The adult timeline is usually the weakest point of the show but I feel they went hand in hand with the teens this time. I wish they spent the whole season together.
Misty and Shauna are so fun to watch. Melanie and Christina's chemistry is insane. I wish Misty had gone with Shauna so we can see more bickering but I'm sure Tai is gonna need Misty more than Shauna.
Btw, Shauna is fucking crazy for going to that woman's house ready to put that knife to use. Like c'mon Shauna, that woman that lives in Virginia locked you up in a freezer and cut your breaks.
They're finally doing something with Tai, the most wasted storyline in the show. She definitely is going to start killing people to save Van, and those people need to understand that we need Van alive.
Is Walter lying about Shauna? or maybe Lottie took something from Shauna's house and that's how her DNA ended up at the crime scene. I think it'd be too messed up that one of the Yellowjackets killed Lottie unless it was other Tai.
Hilary Swank is definitely playing adult Melissa (I hope I'm wrong) because there's no way she's connected to those scientists. And why did they need to say out loud that Mel and Gen are dead? I want to know now.
The teen timeline was so delicious to watch.
Lottie is going crazier each day. She killed that man because the wilderness wasn't vibing with him. Maybe now the girls will see that Lottie is almost gone, to quote Nat "She is clinically insane".
Van broke my heart in this episode, adult and teen. One version just wants to go home, and the other just wants to live with her wife but without killing anyone.
Melisa asked Shauna to not leave her, and when Shauna obviously did because she cared but not that much then she got mad. I've seen people reading the "If she dies you died" as Shauna caring about her but c'mon she didn't even stop to check or look at her. She reacted because Melisa called her name. She could have stayed with her, even tho they'd need Shauna the butcher, as usual, but of course, she didn't bc she was more hype about hunting people.
Jackie had to drag Shauna out of the plane bc she didn't want to leave Van. Oh Jackie Taylor you are so missed.
Why the hell was Misty in that hunt? She didn't have a torch or a weapon, they left her alone and then broke her glasses. She should have been on camp taking care of Melissa.
Joel McHale is very lucky that Shauna didn't find him.
Also, it was very interesting to see the Yellowjackets from another perspective. To me, they are my beloved family, but they do look very crazy and cannibalistic from the outside.
They confirmed the three explorers died there. I'm dying to see the horrors they are going to face, and how the woman is going to manage these crazy girls. She is very smart and I feel she'd understand the dynamic pretty fast. She probably knows who they are.
This is my reaction every time I remember the hunting sequence:
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I Loved seeing the girls hunt those people without actually communicating they know each other so well. Nat leading the hunt because yes, that's her role The Hunter. Uff that was Cheff's kiss.
They don't need the fire, because they know this woods like the palm of their hands by now.
Imagine if, at the beginning of the episode, we see them playing soccer together and then in the wilderness we see them using those skills to hunt people.
- If Melissa is alive why would Shauna cover for her?
- Gen is dead because she pushed Nat
- Misty saying "That's not good" when Van was coughing blood was hilarious.
- Shauna and Misty discussing murder in front of the police. They don't give a fuck.
- There have been 2 deaths so far, and Shauna's hands are clean.
- Shauna keeping the strand of hair. She's making her antler queen outfit iktr.
- They were worshipping frogs fucking.
- Shauna + Knife is one of my favorite pairs.
Jennifer Morrison is directing? Of course, another lesbian is about to die. Jmo never beating those allegations I fear.
- "I don't know where you end and I begin" That's the most romantic thing Shauna has said so far. Don't play with me.
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dailykafka · 6 months ago
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— September, 1920 / Letters to Milena
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nexus-nebulae · 23 days ago
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"why are you so worried abt random accidents, stuff like that rarely ever happens" well you see I'm too disabled to ever evacuate a situation on my own, so I'd rather be a safety advocate now than become a statistic later
#like. part of the reason i avoid large crowded events at all costs unless they are outdoors#is because i know for a fact i would more likely be a victim of crowd crush than any disaster like a fire#i am slow. i am very fragile. i have extremely poor balance#even if i could walk on that particular day (which is becoming less and less likely by the month)#i would be knocked over almost immediately by a light shove and be trampled#as well as like. my diminishing ability to make it UP stairs in the event of a fire in my apartment#because i live in a basement apartment and there is no elevator or alternative way upstairs in this building#if i were on an upper floor i would bear the injuries and just throw myself down the stairs if it were that severe of an emergency#i know far too well how to protect myself from a hard fall and would likely be able to avoid too severe an injury there#but if i had to crawl up the stairs i don't know if i could make it#these things are also why i fear car accidents so much#i physically cannot use an airbag without it breaking my collarbone; my height and general brittleness guarantee that#so it's just not. active. on my side of the car. like it was manually disabled#and I'm already so severely disabled i just. i can't emotionally handle something else. on top of everything#i have a do not resuscitate order in place bc of that. so if my heart stops for any reason they shouldn't try to restart it#that's a recent choice bc like. i can already barely handle the emotional toll of my current disabilities getting worse#i would not be able to handle something new unless it were like. a more severe form of one i already handle well like. losing my legs#i miss running but it wasn't as hard to give up as; say; losing use of my hands- they're the only way i can do ANYTHING nowadays#the few times my joint pain got bad enough that i fully lost use of my hands for a few days were absolute torment#and I'm far far too scared of my voice being recorded to use anything with speech to text like. it's a BAD paranoia i can't shake it#so i would just kind of. be locked out from most tech. and THAT is currently the only way it's possible for me to be social#so i would actually just fully lose my mind like it's already fragile enough i would break i would just break#i love large transport vehicles but i struggle to trust the safety of most other than trains because those tend to be. fairly safe#I've watched enough train disaster videos to know how robust the rules and regulations of modern trains are#(all regulations are written in blood!)#i trust cars very little though and since buses run on the same streets i worry. a Lot#not that there's any buses that run near my apartment the closest bus stop is three blocks away and it only comes twice a day#and it only runs to the college and nowhere else so there's. very little point to me using it#and very few ways for me to even access it in my current physical state#it's very much not an accessible bus stop the sidewalks are diagonal in most places and my right wheel is malfunctioning now bc of it
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repotting · 8 months ago
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people who don't normally read sci fi have such bad taste in sci fi 😭
#which makes sense because they're there despite having no attraction to what makes sci fi sci fi#but it's funny because they're always so excited to give their recommendation#and it's always like. ready player one or bobiverse or the locked tomb or something else horrendously tacky#like it's either awful marvel style quipping or something painfully twee that thinks it's deeper than it is a la Becky Chambers#and you have to try to be nice while they rave about some of the worst writing a mainstream publisher has put out#that only counts as “sci fi” bc it's in space or whatever#the other option is they like some military shit linked to a video game about how some genocide is necessary#don't get me wrong I read mostly bad sci fi and I'm aware good sci fi is rare#but it's like you had taco bell exactly once and someone's like 'any good Mexican restaurant recs in this town?'#and you just HAVE to respond with how good your dorito taco was and it's the best Mexican food#and in this scenario you don't even know enough to say “hear me out” you don't know other restaurants even exist like it's never occurred#to you to look and after that one dorito Taco you never had any interest in having Mexican food ever again#and yet. if someone is talking about Mexican food you just have to bring up you ate a Dorito taco one time and everyone should have one#how it's the best Mexican food in the world#also tumblr stop saying books are good just cuz there are lgbt people in them challenge#one time i asked for ppls fav sci fi nobody's heard of and fully half the replies were Becky fucking Chambers btw
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ranvwoop · 3 months ago
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i try to avoid my acc being Just vntposting . in this world. but man is it going
#vwoop.noises#rest of tags is a lil heavy one#I am just so like. baseline unhappy with my life#and i can't be distracted all the time because like A) I have to be a person and B) World Cannot Revolve Around Me#and even a bit of those distractions have been Also caked in misery bc i am. difficult#so like what even is the point#And then. school .#did not go to my exams. my parents are mad and sayign i can't take a semester off because this was my write off and its like. NO. NOT REALL#they do not care how much of a mental breakdown i have visibly because they do not believe anything I have Not had any sort of rest .#and also like. they have their own problems. but one of these problems is telling me i wouldn't Really act like this#bc. and i really do like. wish that ppl would get help but we've tried but. over the last couple years my mom has believed that things#have been replaced / altered. and constantly brings up like. Oh yr dad NEVER ate pizza before :/ / you would've never said that / etc#Which like. it's such a genuine mental health thing like I deeply fully understand but I've been the only one taking it on and I am like.#21yo and very useless. And Also She's Mean 2 Me Now. I don't know what to do /shrug#And that's my storey . Kind of why it's been a constant stream of negativity we are doing :heart: Bad#like a year and a half ago: haha it's okay i'll just lock in next semester#the horrors: Hello. You are never doing an assignment again#sorry for the lore drop . thx if youve read this far idc if not. it's nice to get off my chest for real.#i gotta. make something soon idk#i can pretend that it will fix me :D#i am doing okay for the record uhhh we persist or whatever. if u are concerned of my absence my other blogs r in my pinned :]#I am still chronically online believe this. this is just my original posts blog. n mncrft sometimes still#after typing this out i left it on my puter to go search for food#and i had a huge rant sesh with my brother and this did kinda fix me ngl . Still posting tho.
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proveagain · 4 months ago
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getting some rambly thoughts out now before the next part drops in a couple hours but i am REALLY hoping that we get more reasoning behind miguel's frustration abt not making captain / the 'you're blowing the opportunity of a lifetime' line from the trailer than just miguel wanting to get into stanford. like yes, he's said in past seasons that he's had his sights there for a while, but i really hope the reasoning to go is more than just 'i need to go or my future's fucked >:(' because he's already had really good advice given to him abt that from daniel in season 4 (the one in the auto shop where he talks about what you want sometimes needing a longer road / the circular path). he had the arc in s4 that revolves around taking that path and saw how daniel was able to make it without the 4 year university track that high school pushes so much.
i CAN see this reaction and this intensity from him finally feeling fully in control of something since s3/4, rooting back to the recovery arc and how quickly things were changing around him in s4 right before the tournament. stanford is the One Thing he's picked for himself and he wants it to work out really bad, and instead of a solid yes / no it's up in the air, just like everything else for the longest time. the decision is out of his control, and losing the captains' qualifying match to robby just solidified that lack of control. i can see that annoyance of having to constantly adapt coming into play, sitting on the sidelines watching robby get beat by dojos that have probably had way more training than miyagi-do. would he get beat by kwon and the others? maybe. but it's that maybe that's driving him up the wall. will he be able to recover? maybe. will the new family dynamic work out? maybe. will his biological dad want to be in his life? maybe. (he didn't fully figure that one out but after seeing his true colors he doesn't want to) will they win the sekai taikai? maybe. will he get into stanford? maybe!
with how crowded the plots are this season with all 3 gens of characters having their plot points and even MORE characters to introduce in the taikai tonight, i don't have high hopes for them developing miguel's frustration more than surface-level 'but i deserve it more than you' type shit but... a girl can dream
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holytrickster · 2 years ago
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idk i think it's so funny I went down a survival horror game rabbit hole when a) I'm too freaking anxious for horror games I will make myself cry, b) it was all PS2 stuff which is extra funny bc I've never even played on someone else's playstation let alone had one, i was always a wii kid lol. but now my brain is like ah yes. time to consume everything I can about games I can't even play and that are stupid expensive/hard to get now
#also i love that people draw jennifer from rule of rose and fiona from haunting ground together#they're just two girls with their dogs and in horrible situations and you know im glad they get to have dogs#any game where i get to have a pet is alright by me even if shit is otherwise majorly fucked#anyway. i do need to play pathologic. it's funny bc in theory it is really the kind of thing I'd like bc there's so much stuff to uncover#plus i think classic HD (which is the version i have) fixes the bad translation so it's not even like it's too hard to understand#at least only hard to understand in the intended pathologic-y way anyway#and i really really like the soundtrack#and everything I've watched and read about it is sick as hell (no pun intended) so i think the thing making me unable to get into it is the#actual experience of playing it. like it's funny how much of an asshole dankovsky is but that doesn't mean I *want* to play as an asshole#its funny the only time i really like playing that way is in skyrim bc im just. greenish elf that picks everyone's locks bc it was the first#thing i figured out and characters will just ???? let me fucking do it??? (i say having gotten arrested in whiterun like immediately)#i guess because I'm not invested in any of the characters yet because i havent had time to sit down and really play it#i guess that'd kind of be the way i play in lotro but that's more just me not interacting with other players#fun fact i think i still have one of the earliest fellowship quests sitting unfinished bc i can never form groups to finish them#i don't think I'll even ever get good at lotro though honestly#more just knowing what buttons to spam#idk i played hunter FOREVER but minstrel is really really growing on me#even though some of the skills are kinda wasted since i only ever play alone#anyway what was i talking about
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strryhaze · 2 months ago
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they are so rarely talked about in the kennedyfandom of it all but oh do i love them
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Caroline Kennedy running into her mothers arms.
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enid-coleslaw · 7 months ago
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living with the consequences of my own (self-inflicted) stunted social development
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astrxealis · 10 months ago
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i love asking me friends for small things wow... got da inquisition Finally bcs #Sale but was wondering who to romance. my friend pointed at my two other choices and said "hah no. government" (??) and then said yes to sera LMFAOOO <333
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#da is my childhood actually. only a bit of it really bcs even mass effect was more of my childhood from watching my dad play#but i only ever played like... the first mission of the 1st mass effect game. old xbox not rlly easy to use personally nowadays old & dusty!#But i did play origins! until i hit the bug in the mage tower :(( funnily enough my dad went thru the same bug and that's why he stopped too#or so he told me Lol like dad like kid huh ....... we are silly <3#back then i liked alistair and thought morrigan was reaaaally pretty#but always had a thought Yo alistair too nice (i was rlly obsessed tho for some reason w the whole royal bastard thing LMFAO)#and morrigan was a bit mean for me (morally speaking. for alistair too! just my kid opinions.)#and i did not give much thought to leliana and did Not know zevran#which is hilarious. bcs both r my favs now WHAGAHDJBFAJBDJE !!!!!#have not played da 2 and unfortunately don't have it yet. got inquisition 1st bcs i have a friend who played it & i rmbr watching some#cutscenes online yeaaaars back. and also i wanted to try the Newest one. bit more modern. just for now.#was conflicted whether to play as a Guy or Girl which is wack bcs back then i'd just always do a girl#but then the gender realizations came in and then lately it's more Guy. or genderfluid in some silly way.#but da is a bit trickier bcs gender-locked romances!#honestly it's mostly between dorian or sera for me. cullen is a maybe.#so Like..... Yeah. also idk what race. maybe elf?#it's trickier bcs i don't name my characters my irl name now. and i don't want to name them All apollo.#dos2 & bg3 can be both apollo bcs it fits them both i think and also Heh. larian studios.#but for others...! like da. i want smth a Bit different. hm. hm. hm.#will think abt it :] <3
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incognit0slut · 4 months ago
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was i stupid to love you?
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in which a lingering glance at Rossi’s wedding threatens your engagement.
content: angst, 4.8k, takes place right after truth or dare (14x15), a lot of dialogue, mention of prison arc, emotional distress, relationship conflict, not proofread a/n: when was the last time you saw me write angst? exactly. this is inspired by malcolm & marie bc i really like the idea of having an argument while moving around the house (also disclaimer i have nothing against JJ i just like being dramatic)
The lock clicks open. The door swings with a creak. Your heels tap against the hardwood in a hollow rhythm that feels almost too loud. There’s a tightness in your chest, that prickling behind your eyes, and a familiar ache pressing up from the pit of your stomach, churning into a faint nausea that you try to ignore. You’re trying to hold it back.
Not here.
Not now.
Spencer doesn’t even look up. The keys slip from his hand with a soft clink as they hit the side table, and he turns away with a quiet sigh that reverberates deep in your bones.
“Are you hungry?” he asks, tossing a glance toward the kitchen. “Think we could order something?”
You trail after him, the sharp click of your heels echoing as you step onto the kitchen tile. “We just came back from a wedding.”
He’s rifling through the cupboard, his fingers brushing over the mismatched mugs and neatly stacked plates before he pulls down two glasses. “I barely ate anything at the reception.”
You watch him, biting back a response as memories flicker to mind. The slice of cake he’d poked at absentmindedly, washing it down with sips of water instead of real food.
It wasn’t hunger he seemed focused on tonight. No, it was his quiet glances across the room you keep on catching from the corner of your eye, and that conversation he’d had at the bar. The one where his posture softened, his gaze so intent you’d found yourself staring at the back of his head, trying not to read too much into it—and obviously failing.
“Why didn’t you eat?”
He shrugs, his back still to you as he fills the glasses with water. “I don’t know,” he says, sounding almost absent, like it’s something he hasn’t really thought about. “I didn’t get around to it, I guess.”
The muscles in your jaw ticks as you bite the inside of your cheeks.
Spencer turns, offering you a glass. “I was thinking of Chinese, or maybe we can check if that Thai place you like is still open.”
You take the glass from him, barely sparing it a glance before setting it back down on the counter. “Whatever you want is fine.”
A subtle crease appears between his brows. “You sure? You usually have some opinion when it comes to food.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“You don’t want to eat anything?”
You suppress a sigh. "No. I'm tired."
The soft amber of his eyes dims slightly as he studies you. There's a flicker of uncertainty passing through them before he nods. “Alright,” he concedes. “We don’t have to order anything.”
A faint, humorless laugh escapes you before you can stop it. It tastes bitter, a little unfair, but it slips out before you can pull it back, “You don’t have to change your plans on my account, Spencer.”
“I’m not changing any plans,” he responds. “I’m just making sure you have something to eat in case you’re hungry.”
Your shoes dig uncomfortably into your feet. You shift your weight, starting to pace a few steps back and forth. "It's dinner, you don't have to check on me for every little thing. Do whatever you like."
He blinks, looking genuinely perplexed. "What are you saying? I was trying to be considerate."
"Right. Considerate.”
There’s an unmistakable bite in your tone.
“Yes, because we like doing these things together," he observes, watching your uneasy pacing. "Am I missing something here?”
You shake your head. “Nope.”
"Honey."
The term of endearment lands softly, slipping from his lips like he believes it has the power to melt whatever tension has suddenly crept between you. But it only tightens the knot building in your stomach. It’s stirring the words you’re trying to hold back, tangling them somewhere between your chest and throat.
He calls your name this time, his eyes narrowing into sharp lines. “You’ve been awfully quiet on our way home, and now you’re… honestly, I don’t know why you're acting this way.” His voice dips with a tinge of exasperation. "What’s this really about?"
The words you’ve been biting back feel like a stack of stones in your throat, rising up, up, up, each one pressed tighter by the gnawing nausea in your stomach. You can feel them gathering, and before you know it, they tumble out messily.
“I’m just saying, don’t let me hold you back from getting what you want. I wouldn’t want to stop you from anything—or, god forbid," you add, letting your gaze drift away as if a little distance might soften the blow, “anyone.”
The soft, almost stifled inhale he takes is audible. You don’t even have to look up to see his expression shifting. You’ve known him long enough to recognize the way his shoulders tense, the way his breathing slows as he processes your words. You know his reaction by heart, yet right now, you wonder if saying this was a mistake, if this is the start of something neither of you can take back.
His fingers twitching at his side slip into your line of sight. He's angry.
Maybe this isn’t the time to start a fight.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
Your heels click softly as you turn.
“Forget it. I shouldn't have said anything,” you mutter, already moving toward the bedroom that’s been yours, too, for the past year. Although it feels strange tonight, like a space that belongs to someone else. A life you’re not entirely sure you belong in.
“No." His voice is somewhere behind you. “I think you should explain to me what you mean by that.”
You don’t respond, choosing instead to sink onto the edge of the bed, hands fumbling as you try to undo the straps of your heels. You twist the stubborn leather with more force. His shadow fills the doorway.
“Honey.”
Not again.
You decide to ignore him.
“Is there something you’d like to say to me?”
You tug harder at the strap. “No.”
He doesn’t buy it. “You’re clearly bothered by something.”
You shake your head, fingers still fumbling, the leather cutting against your ankle with each pull. “I’m just tired. Can we leave it at that?”
There’s a flicker of frustration in his gaze now, a crease forming between his brows as he studies you. He moves into the room. You barely have the chance to react before he lowers himself, bending one knee to the floor as he reaches toward the strap you’ve been fighting with. “Here, let me—”
“Don’t,” you interrupt, pulling your foot away. “I can do it myself.”
“I know you can. But let me—”
“I can do it myself!”
Your heartbeat thuds loud in your ears, each pulse feeding the frustration that’s wound its way up from your chest. He rises slowly, not a word passing his lips, but the tension radiates off him like heat. He’s close enough that his warmth presses against your skin, although it’s not the kind you usually find comforting. It’s almost suffocating.
You turn your focus back to the stubborn strap, your fingers trembling slightly as you struggle to grip it. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch him slipping off his shoes, one after the other, the soft thuds barely audible over the rush of your own heartbeat. He pulls off his suit jacket, carefully smoothing the crumpled fabric before hanging it in the closet. For a moment, it seems like he’s going to let it go… until his gaze drifts back to you.
You can tell his patience is fraying, and you’re proven right when he asks again, “What did you mean by that? When you said you wouldn’t want to stop me from anyone… what was that supposed to mean?”
You finally manage to tug the strap loose. The heel drops to the floor with a muted thump. “It was nothing.”
“I don’t think you’d say something like that if it was nothing.”
Your focus shifts to the other shoe. “Just drop it, Spencer.”
"How am I supposed to drop it when you're implying... whatever it is you're implying?"
You keep your eyes down, wrestling with the strap in silence. He cuts through the quiet before it has a chance to grow.
“Don’t do that,” he says. “Don’t brush it off like it’s nothing when it clearly means something. I need to know why you said that.”
You kick off the other heel and meet his gaze for the first time since you walked into the room. “You really want to know?”
He reaches for his bow tie, yanking it loose it with one hard pull. “Do I want to know why you’re giving me this attitude right now? Yes. Yes, I do.”
Oh. So this is going to be that kind of fight.
You hadn’t expected it to go here. Fights with Spencer are very rare, usually more a clash of misunderstandings that you both laugh about with limbs tangled between sheets by the time you’ve made peace. But seeing him standing there with the tie hanging loosely around his neck and his five o’clock shadow casting an even darker line along his jaw, it hits you differently.
This is real. And this time, you don’t know if brushing it off will fix anything.
“Fine, let’s talk about it then.” You rise from the bed, tension carrying you to your feet. “Emily’s speech tonight.”
His brow furrows, not quite a scowl, more a cautious crease as he processes your tone. “Emily’s speech? What about it?”
“What do you remember of it?”
There’s a slight pause, and you can tell he's clearly caught off guard by the question. “She mentioned how Rossi and Krystal are twin flames."
“Right. Two souls that are always meant to be together.”
His face is still marked by confusion, but there’s something else creeping in. A subtle tightening around his eyes tells you he’s starting to piece it together. “I don’t understand what that has to do with—”
“You looked at JJ the second Emily made that speech,” you cut him off. “Spencer, you didn’t even spare a glance at your future wife because you were too busy making eyes at the woman who’s apparently been in love with you all these years.”
There. You said it. The words that have twisted around your insides all evening are finally out. And maybe they taste a little bitter, but at least they're not choking you anymore.
A second passes, then another, and by the time the fifth heartbeat ticks by, he’s standing there with his hand on his hip.
“That’s not what happened."
“Then what was it?” you demand. "I sat beside you the whole day, you didn't even try to hide it."
“That’s not—you’re twisting things.” His hand moves through his hair, fingers digging in as his curls tumble forward onto his forehead. “And you know what happened that night wasn’t real. It was a forced confession. She was under duress, we both were. JJ and I are just friends.”
You arch an eyebrow. “You look at all your friends like that?”
His hand drops to his side. "I don't know what else you want me to say. JJ said what she did because she thought we might die. She has a family, and a husband who she loves. We already went through this, I don't understand why this is suddenly an issue again."
“Maybe I wouldn’t be bringing this up if you didn’t look at her tonight like you were ready to break up that marriage yourself.”
A flash of shock and anger crosses his features.
“That’s not fair,” he snaps, his voice sharper than you’ve heard in a while. “Do you really think I’d disregard everything I have with you because of a look? Because of a history that has never gone anywhere?”
“I don’t know what to think. It's not like it happened just once, I saw you looking at her the same way at the bar." You step forward, accidentally kicking your discarded heel as you move. "What were you two talking about, anyway?”
He lets out a tight breath. “She was checking in on me. She… we haven’t talked much since then.”
The corners of your mouth pull down. “Mhm. Another round of truth or dare?”
“I can’t believe you’re using that against me." His hair flops forward as he shakes his head, falling messily over his brow. "If there were anything unresolved with JJ, I would’ve said something. But I didn’t, because there’s nothing there."
“And yet, she’s always been an important part of your life, hasn't she?"
He tilts his head. "What are trying to say now?"
Your tongue darts out, briefly brushing your lips. You're not sure you should say it, but it feels like a door has swung open—a door to words that have been waiting for their moment.
You take a slow, deep breath, filling your lungs with as much air as you can.
“When you were in prison, you put her on your visiting list ahead of almost everyone else. Doesn’t that say something about where she stands with you?”
He exhales sharply, dragging a hand over the back of his neck.
“She’s part of the team,” he says, as if he’s trying to spell out something he’s already explained a dozen times. "There were strict rules, I already told you that only a handful of people were allowed to visit. It wasn’t like I could just put anyone on the list.”
“But you could’ve put me on there!”
The familiar burn of tears prickles at the edges of your eyes, but you blink them back, refusing to let them fall. An explanation or protest is poised on his lips, but you’re already moving, closing the distance with a single, decisive step. A finger lands on his chest.
“I was your girlfriend, Spencer. Were you that determined to keep me out? Was the thought of seeing me really so unbearable? Do you even understand how hard it was to sit at home, knowing you were locked up, feeling completely helpless? Do you have any idea how much I hated myself day after day because I couldn’t do anything to help you?”
Your lips quiver. You feel like your heart is about to leap out of your throat.
“I was out here, just… waiting. Wondering if you were okay, if they were treating you alright, if you even had someone to talk to. And meanwhile, she’s there, with you. Every single time, she’s the one who gets to be by your side.”
Your nail digs into the fabric of his shirt.
“So forgive me if I can’t just let that go. Because when it mattered, it felt like you didn’t want me to be there for you. And now… now I don’t even know if you need me the way you seem to need her.”
Your breathing turns shallow, each inhale catching in your chest. The tears you’ve been holding back are dangerously blurring your vision. You swallow the knot lodged in your throat.
“I need a minute.”
Without another word, you turn and walk out of the room, leaving him standing there in stunned silence. You slip back into the kitchen, leaning against the counter as you finally reach for the glass of water that’s been sitting there untouched. You take a sip, barely feeling the cool water on your lips, when you hear his footsteps behind you.
“You think I don’t want you in my life?” he demands. “You think I somehow need her more than I need you?”
You set the glass down. “What part of ‘I need a minute’ do you not understand?”
“You really expect me to wait quietly after you unloaded every doubt you’ve ever had about us?”
You life your chin up. “Yes, I do. I need space to think right now.”
“What more do you want to think about when you’ve already convinced yourself that I’m always going to fall short? Is it so hard to believe that you’re the one I want?”
“You want to know why it’s so damn hard to believe?” You turn towards him. “Because every time I try to let this go, there’s always something. A confession. That—that not-so-subtle look. And when those things happen, it reminds me that I’m not as close to you as she is. I’m fucking tired of feeling like I’m fighting for space in your life.”
“Do you think I want you to feel like that? Do you think I’d go through everything we’ve been through if you didn’t matter to me?”
“Then explain to me why I wasn’t on that list!” you cry out. “Explain to me why, in one of the hardest times of your life, you couldn’t make space for me?”
“Because I was trying to protect you!”
A heavy, dreadful silence falls between you. He takes a step back, his eyelids fluttering shut briefly, and when he opens them again, there’s a softness in his gaze that mirrors the gentleness now threading through his voice.
“I know it probably doesn’t make sense to you, and maybe it never will, but I couldn’t stand the idea of you seeing me like that. Living through it was hard enough, but having you there, seeing me so helpless… It would have crushed me. I didn’t want that to be your memory of me.”
His Adam’s apple dips as he swallows, a quick, almost anxious movement you’ve witnessed countless times.
“And when JJ came to see me,” he continues, “the way the inmates looked at her, the things they said after she left… it was disgusting. I couldn’t—wouldn’t—let that happen to you. I couldn’t live with thought of you being subjected to that because of me.”
You lower your head with a sigh. “I don’t care if they looked. I don’t care what they would’ve thought.”
“But I care,” he fires back, taking a step forward. “Because you mean more to me than anyone. All I wanted was to keep you safe, and maybe I didn't handle it right, maybe I made the wrong call... but it was only because I—" His voice drops into an even more gentle note. "Because I love you."
Your heart stumbles, an uneven beat that feels almost bruised, pounding hard against your ribs.
"I-I love you so much. More than I know how to put into words." The ache in your chest sharpens as his hands come up to cup your cheeks. "I don't like fighting with you. I hate it, actually. I hate seeing you look at me like this."
You also hate the way he’s looking at you. There’s a depth to his annoyingly pretty eyes that makes it impossible to hold up your defenses without feeling them crumble. You let your eyes flutter closed.
“Why don’t we… call it a night?” He suggests. “Let’s lie down. We don’t have to talk about this now.”
The blackness behind your eyelids does little to quiet your mind. Nor does his voice. Or his touch. Instead of offering peace, his presence throws every glance, every moment of tension from tonight into sharper relief.
You draw in a breath, trying to find some comfort in his palms against your cheeks. Yet, even this can’t smooth away the doubt that’s settled in. With a resigned sigh, you release the breath you’ve been holding along with the words that have been pressing at the back of your throat.
“You haven’t explained it to me.”
The shadows in his gaze seem to deepen when you open your eyes.
“What do you mean?”
“We’ve been going in circles, but you haven’t explained to me what happened tonight,” you say quietly. “Why did you look at her, Spencer?”
His thumb absently strokes your cheek in a way that feels more hesitant than reassuring.
“Be honest with me,” you press. “Was there a part of you, even the tiniest part, that still wanted something with her? Some small part of you that… wondered what it might be like?”
The silence between you presses in from all sides, broken only by the faint hum of the refrigerator and the distant, muffled ticking of a clock on the wall. It’s the kind of quiet that sharpens even the smallest sounds, yet his lack of response feels like the loudest thing of all.
You pull back from him with an incredulous laugh.
“Unbelievable.” The word barely makes it past your lips, then louder as you start to move, pacing the length of the apartment. “Unbelievable.”
“Wait,” he says, trailing after you, “I didn’t even say anything.”
You stop short by the couch and whip around to face him.
“You didn’t need to! You—you hesitated," you stammer, searching his face for any flicker of denial, but it’s there, plain as day, that split-second of doubt you caught. “That was already an answer.”
He inches closer. A hand closes in on you. “Please—”
You flinch, pulling back, and every muscle in your body tightens. “Don’t. Don’t touch me right now.”
His hand falls to his side. “Please… let me explain."
You watch his hand drop, fingers twitching like they’re not sure if they should retreat or reach out again, but he keeps them there, hovering in some invisible line you’ve drawn. He looks at you with those big, pleading eyes, and for a split second, you almost feel bad for him.
Almost.
A bitter sort of smile tugs at the corner of your mouth. "So now you want to explain?"
He takes that as permission, and his voice comes in low, almost cautious. "When I first started at the BAU, I had… maybe a crush. A passing thing, barely anything, really. But that was fourteen years ago.” His hand scrubs through his hair in a frustrated sweep. “Fourteen years."
Your brows pull into a frown. “Why am I only hearing about this now?”
“Because it was nothing,” he says, almost too quickly. “I was young, it didn’t matter. I didn’t think it was worth bringing up.”
“Oh, I get it now. All those old feelings came rushing back the night she confessed, didn’t they?”
He mirrors your frown, a visible line of tension etching itself between his brows as he protests, “It’s nothing like that.”
“Then what is it?” you press. “Because from where I’m standing, it looks a whole lot like you’re caught between us because some part of you is still hung up on what might’ve been with her."
He shifts uncomfortably, and you notice the muscles in his jaw clenching the moment his gaze falters, dipping away for just a heartbeat before he looks back at you.
“It’s not that I don’t know what I want,” he starts to explain. “I didn’t expect her to say those things, and, yes, it threw me off for a moment. But that doesn’t mean I’m looking back, or that I want her. I want you.”
You shake your head, feeling a tired sort of frustration settle over you, and walk over to the couch. The soft cushions give slightly beneath you as you sink down.
“If you really wanted me, this wouldn’t be happening. You wouldn’t have let her get into your head like that. And now, you expect to believe that none of it meant anything?”
He’s quick to follow, closing the distance in a few tense steps. “It’s not—” His hands flex open and close at his sides. “You’re acting like one single look tonight is enough to decide I’m not committed to you. Do you really think I’d let some confession I didn’t even ask for get in the way of what we have?”
“It’s not just about that single look. It’s the way she could say something and suddenly, you’re pulled back to something you swore you’d put behind you. How am I supposed to feel secure when she still has that power over you?”
“And what am I supposed to do, then? Apologize for things I don’t even feel anymore?”
You flinch at the sharpness in his voice. A low, frustrated noise rumbles in his chest when you don’t respond.
“You’re always going to question me no matter what I say, aren’t you?"
You glance over at him, catching the disheveled strands of hair falling over his forehead, and it pulls you back to that night he came home after that dreadful night. He’d walked in looking worn in a way you’d never seen before, his whole posture weighted down as if he was carrying more than just the fear of being held hostage.
You remember sitting with him on this same couch, fingers brushing his, and asking what was bothering him.
JJ said she loved me.
Your heart lurched, a quick, quiet ache that you tried to swallow down. Really?
Don’t worry. It’s not true.
But with that same haunted look in his eyes right now, you can’t help but wonder if it really was just a well-intentioned lie.
“One glance and you’re accusing me of things that are never going to happen,” he starts again. “Do you really think so little of me? After everything we’ve shared, you really think I’d betray you like that?”
In true honesty, you don’t believe he would ever cross that line. But the doubts still linger, fed by those small hesitations, the moments when his eyes seem somewhere else. It’s not that you think he’d betray you. It’s that a part of him might still be holding onto something he won’t let you see.
“It’s like you don’t know me at all.”
Now those words you might actually believe.
“Maybe I don’t,” you say quietly, eyes drifting to the ring on your finger. You twist it absently, remembering the night he proposed. How he’d stumbled over his words, his cheeks flushing as he tried to make the moment perfect but ended up rambling in that endearing, nervous way of his. You’d laughed, reassured him that it was exactly right, that you didn’t need grand gestures. All you needed was him.
And yet, you don’t think he needs you as much you need him.
A hollow ache settles around your hand as you slip the ring off.
“What are you doing?”
You stare down at the gold band in your palm, blinking back the sting of tears.
“Tell me what you’re doing.”
Panic. Desperation. There’s a sudden rush of melancholy in his voice, a heaviness that wasn’t there a moment ago.
You swallow the lump in your throat. “I don’t know,” you whisper. “I—I don’t know anything right now.”
His face crumples, and in a sudden, almost instinctive movement, he drops down to his knees.
“No, no, you do know me. I’m sorry… I’m so sorry. Isn’t this—” he stops, then dips his head, trying to catch your gaze. “Isn’t that what couples do? They argue, they mess things up… but they work through it, right? Right?”
You look down, feeling the cool weight of the ring pressing into your skin.
“Spencer…” you begin. “I trust you. I do, and I’m sorry if I made it seem like I didn’t. But… I need to feel secure. I… I need to know that I don’t have to wonder or worry about where I stand. I never thought you’d be the one to make me doubt that.”
There’s a sharp ache in your chest.
“I didn’t think it could hurt this much. Not from you.”
Your pulse ring in your ear.
“I can’t—” The words catch in your throat, a stinging burn rising as you force them out. “I can’t be your wife when I’m constantly questioning if I have all of you. When I feel like… there’s always a part of you that isn’t mine.”
“I’m yours, honey. I’m always yours.”
“I wish I could believe that.”
There’s a slight falter in his voice. “Don’t—please don’t do this—”
“I can’t keep pretending it doesn’t hurt.”
He falls silent, and for a moment, the only sound is the rough, uneven rhythm of both your breaths filling the space between you. Then, like something inside him finally cracks open, he sinks down, pressing his forehead against your lap. The sudden weight of him forces a broken sob from your throat.
“Please,” he begs, fingers clutching at your sides. His chin presses deep into your thigh. “Tell me how to fix this. I can’t— I can’t lose you.”
“Spence…”
“I love you,” he blurts out, the words tumbling from him in a rush. “I love you.”
But what is love, really? Is it just a word people reach for when they’ve run out of things to say, a way to patch over bruised hearts and broken promises? Or should it feel like something more solid, something that doesn’t leave you questioning or aching? You can’t even tell anymore.
You wonder, too, if maybe you’ve been wrong all along. If this feeling in your chest isn’t love but something dressed up as it, something that fills the gaps while slowly hollowing you out. Because here you are, clinging to a love that somehow makes you feel like you’re both needed and unseen. Everything and nothing all at once.
You feel like a fool.
“I want to go to bed.”
His head lifts from your lap, a flash of surprise darting across his face, as though he hadn’t expected you to say anything at all, let alone that. “Yeah, okay, let’s go to bed. We’ll… we’ll figure this out in the morning.”
“I’d rather be alone.”
The words hit him visibly. His mouth opens, an argument forming there, but he catches himself, letting the silence stretch before he nods slowly.
“Then… I’ll stay out here. On the couch,” he offers softly. “Just… in case you need anything.”
A pang cuts through you at the thought of him stretched out on the couch, his legs too long, his shoulders folded in to fit the cramped space. But the idea of sharing a bed right now feels impossible.
You reach down, holding out the ring towards him.
“No,” he says firmly, gently pushing your hand away. “Don’t do that. This… it doesn’t mean we’re giving up. It just means we need time. That’s all.”
You’re not sure if your mind will change in the morning. The ring presses into your skin, but finally, you close your hand around it, nodding faintly before you peel away from him.
The tears start the moment the bedroom door clicks shut behind you. It spills over in a jagged, helpless cry that sounds nothing like you imagined heartbreak might sound. It’s messy, a kind of aching grief that feels too big for your chest, clawing its way out with no grace at all. You can practically hear how pathetic you sound, and yet you can’t seem to stop.
Even when the hem of your dress trails across the floor. Even when you finally collapse onto his side of the bed. There’s no stopping you. With the ring sitting cold in your hand, your tears keep coming, soaking into the pillow as you cling to the last trace of him woven into the sheets.
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minorlyatfault · 28 days ago
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𝐈 𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐎 𝐑𝐔𝐍 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐄, 𝐑𝐔𝐍 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 ! j. todd x reader
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𝓢ynopsis: jason doesn't like it when you're away. but he doesn't like it. & after an entire week without you, he's clinging by his fingernails. the moment you step through the door, he's all over you▰gripping, kissing, taking every second you were away back. he's needy, desperate, & legit refuses to let you leave. not that you mind.
𝓦arnings: grammatical errors. ooc. my 2 am writing. angst(?????). making out.
𝓝otes:
001. hozier is today's savior.(he's everyday's saviour.)
002. straight fucking A's!! dawg, my grades in math & science were surprisingly high.
003. all i need to do now is to make my research teacher realize that my research is actually difficult & not "simple"
004. won't post the pomegranate one 2day or anytime now(bc i don't like it) so take this uhh,,, old worknofmine.
005. inspo of the work was this art by @/ciricearts (idk if it's noticable tho. THSIS BYT SUCKS)
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jason was gonna die.
the apartment was too silent.
too vacant.
you were supposed to be away for a week. you let him know in advance, reassured him that it was just business, that you’d call when you could, that you’d be home before he knew it. he told you something like, “yeah, i’ll be okay,” & acted like he wasn’t already in dread of it.
but he was not okay. not even remotely.
it began small. the first two days, he told himself it wasn’t so bad. he stayed busy▰hit the gym, went on patrol, even managed to get through a few chapters of that book you’d been pestering him to read
he even maintained his texts to you as usual, casual, joking with you about how dull work must be without him there.
then, on day three, the apartment felt too large.
by day four, he was walking back & forth.
on day five, he was restless, checking his phone so much that it was a habit. the messages were still arriving▰briefly worded, bittersweet, i miss you’s & i love you's that should have sufficed▰but they didn’t. not if you weren’t present. not when the bed was cold, when his hands had nothing to grasp. not when you're not seated in his lap, arms wrapped around his neck, smothering him with kisses. forehead, eyelids, cheeks, nose, lips, chin, jaw, neck. none.
by day six, he realized how terrible this was.
because jason todd didn’t wait. he didn’t wait around. he was accustomed to solitude. he had been in solitude for so long before you even entered his life. & now, without you, it seemed like something within him was collapsing.
which brought him to now.
the seventh day.
jason slumped on the couch, tapping his fingers on the armrest, head resting in his hand. his eyes were tired from sleep deprivation, jaw aching from clenching. he was tired but fidgety, too tense in body to even consider resting. his phone rested on the coffee table, its screen black, & he despised the way he couldn’t stop looking at it, as if it would come alive if he stared hard enough.
it was pathetic.
he pulled a hand across his face, exhaling harshly. this was absurd. he had endured worse. he had died. & yet, all of that paled in comparison to this▰the crushing feeling of missing you.
then, the door opened.
his head jerked up so quickly it hurt.
the moment he saw you cross the door step, he was in motion.
he didn’t even give you time to greet him.
a moment you were putting down your bag, & next, jason was on top of you. his hand curled around your wrist, pulling you toward him so sharply you were caught off guard & gasped in shock.
“jay▰?”
his arms were caging you in before you could get another word out.
the tension in his body crackled the instant he felt you pressed against him. his face pushed into your hair, fingers grasped deep into the folds of your shirt, his body actually shuddering with relief.
“you’re back,” he stated, voice roughened.
you blinked. “yeah, i am.”
jason remained still. just held you, arms trapped around you, locked tight in case you walked away. you sighed softly & tried to diffuse his stress with a gentle stroke of your hand up his spine.
“missed me that much, huh?”
jason exhaled.
& then he destroyed you.
his lips slammed into yours, hands holding your waist like a starving man. you hardly had time to catch your breath before he was kissing you like he’d been waiting an eternity. & in a sense, he had.
his desperation seeped into each motion. his fingers twisted in your hair, pulling hard enough to make you shiver. his lips opened against yours, hot and insistent, his breath thick as he pressed you against the door.
you gasped against his mouth. “jason▰”
“don’t,” he said, not allowing you to speak. “not yet.”
his hands sneaked up your sides, fingers tracing whatever he could trace, remembering you all over again. his body against yours, & you could feel the raw tension in him, the way he was only just keeping himself together.
he kissed you again. more aggressively.
as if he could reclaim every second you’d been away.
your fingers wrapped around the collar of his jacket, pulling him in, & jason groaned at the touch. his lips left your mouth to graze your jaw, travel down your neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses that made your breath hitch.
“you have no idea how much i missed you, doll.” he whispered against your skin.
you swallowed hard, head thrown back. “i think i’m getting the idea.” jason let out a harsh laugh before nipping at your collarbone, & you gasped. his arm around you tightened, as if he wasn’t yet certain you were real, that you were truly here.
“you left me,” he whispered, his voice low & accusatory. your palms crept up to cup his face, making him meet your gaze. his pupils were dilated, cheeks flushed, lips puffy from how intensely he’d kissed you.
“i came back,” you whispered.
jason’s face relaxed, just a fraction. but then his hands tightened around your waist, drawing you into him so tightly there wasn’t even an inch of space remaining between you.
“never leave for that long again,” he grunted. your heart tightened at the yearning in his tone. the vulnerability. jason never wanted to admit when something hurt▰but here he was, all but pleading with you to never leave him again.
you kissed him, gentler this time. slow & sweet, fingers intertwining in his hair.
jason took a trembling breath against your lips, as if he was only just allowing himself to breathe.
“i missed you too, jay,” you whispered.
jason drew a harsh breath, forehead against yours. “not as much as i missed you.”
you smiled, stroking your thumbs across the bags beneath his eyes.
“you need sleep.”
jason scoffed. “what i require is to catch up on a week of lost kisses.”
you laughed, running a hand through your hair. “jay▰”
he shut you up with another kiss, one that was more languid. more in check. like he was indulging himself.
“i mean it,” he grunted. “you’re not leaving me like that again.”
your heart tightened. you know jason had issues with abandonment, that too much time alone threw his head.
you should’ve known how much this was tormenting him.you cupped his face, touching your lips softly against his forehead.
“i’m not leaving,” you vowed.
jason exhaled the breath he had been holding, his whole body relaxing against your own.
“…good,” he grumbled. “because i’m not losing you.”
& you knew that he did not say it out of bravado.
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jason would not let you out of his eyesight.
you awoke to jason rolled around you, face buried in your neck, arms tied so tightly around you it was almost choking.
you rolled over slightly, only for jason to moan and hold you closer.
“jay, i have to▰”
“no,” he grumbled, mouth against your skin.
you let out a breathless chuckle. “you’re ridiculous.”
he huffed. “you left me for a week.”
you rolled your eyes, running your fingers through his hair. “i’m right here.”
jason grumbled something incoherent before nuzzling deeper into you.
“…you’re still not allowed to leave.”
you sighed, but there was a smile on your face.
jason todd▰your big, scary red hood▰
was the clingiest man on earth.
not that it's a bad thing.
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© minorlyatfault, 2025
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g1rld1ary · 1 month ago
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well kept secret - spencer reid x hotch's daughter!reader
wc: 1420
cw: none!
me: back on my criminal minds grind... also im not gonna lie to u guys i just got back from a hosue party and im extremely drunk, so if u see any mistakes don't be afraid to lmk. also if u have any requests for hotch!daughter pls send them thru bc im heavy into reid rn i just adore him <3
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“Who is that?” JJ asked, pointing subtly over to the figure walking cautiously out of the elevator doors. The figure, of course, being you, nervously trying to find your way around the glitzy BAU offices.
“God knows we needed a new pretty face around here — no offence, ladies,” Morgan laughed, drawing well-humoured insults from the women of the office.
“I for one don’t take any offence, her shoes are so cute!” Garcia gushed from over Morgan’s shoulder, eyes locked on your sleek black heels.
“Oh my god, they look just like the ones in that window we passed on the way to dinner, don’t you remember? Even Hotch said they were nice!” Kate wheeled her way into the conversation on her swivel chair.
It was a slow day around the office, not something that went unappreciated, so each agent was eagerly amenable to conversation.
“Reid, come over here,” Morgan beckoned, “Has she ever been here before?”
“Me?” He spluttered, eyes searching frantically, “Why would you ask me? Hundreds of people come into this building every day, let alone the thousands we see on the street every day, on cases—”
“And you have an eidetic memory kid, are you thinking straight or is the pretty girl messing up Boy Genius?”
Reid would drop dead before admitting that Morgan’s words had any truth to them, but his usually overactive speech pattern was halted by the vision of you entering the office’s glass double doors. His mouth dried out as you looked around, obviously unsure of where you were headed.
“No,” He finally answered, “I’ve never seen her before in my life.”
“She looks lost. Kind of scared, even?” JJ was giving her signature maternal look, concern etched into her face and Garcia was up before anyone could tell her it might not have been a good idea.
The gang watched from afar as your expression brightened from worried to delighted as Garcia began to chat with you, eyes gleaming as you pointed down to your heels. Clearly she’d repeated the earlier compliment.
“Hi! I’m Penelope Garcia, technical analyst, and you are gorgeous. I’m in love with your shoes!” The introduction and compliment took you by surprise but you were by no means disappointed, replying with equal giddiness.
“Thank you so much, my Dad bought them for me!” You extended your right leg slightly to show off the heel more holistically, “And I just love your outfit, the glasses are everything.”
Garcia gushed her own appreciation as the two of you became fast friends, so you chanced a request for help.
“I’m looking for SSA Aaron Hotchner’s office? I know it’s one of the big fancy ones but I’m not sure exactly which.”
“Up those stairs and second door! You can’t miss it, the big boss energy radiates as soon as you go near.” You both laughed and you made sure to thank Garcia profusely.
Reid watched as you pointed up to the private offices, evidently searching for a specific office. He wondered who you could be looking for. He didn’t have to wonder for long as Garcia rushed back, talking a million miles an hour as she explained that you were looking for Hotch. That brought more questions than answers, and the BAU were quick to place bets on what you could possibly want from him.
“Well, she’s certainly too young to be his girlfriend,” Morgan laughed, “Unless Hotch gets down more than we thought.”
“Could be a young woman looking for a mentor? She looks about college age, maybe just graduated?” Kate suggested and JJ nodded in agreement, neither even pretending to be working anymore.
Meanwhile, you’d made your way up to Hotch’s office, knocking softly on the oak door.
“What are you doing here?” He asked, eyebrows raising only slightly, an extreme show of emotion for the man.
“Check your watch, Agent Hotchner,” You smiled, unsurprised that he’d gotten totally consumed by his work.
“Damn,” He huffed under his breath, “I’m sorry, should we go now, then? And what did I tell you about calling me that?”
“Sorry, Dad,” You emphasised the title, “And yeah, let’s head. I’m starving.”
Down in the bullpen, even Rossi had been roped into the shenanigans.
“You’re the closest with Hotch, if anyone would know who she is it’s you!” JJ said, the rest of the group agreeing.
“Why don’t you just, I don’t know, ask him?” Rossi shook his head like he was dealing with small children. Sometimes he was convinced he was.
You took Hotch’s offered arm and the two of you left his office, making quiet smalltalk. The office fell eerily quiet as you two emerged from the behind the closed door, and you got the distinct impression that the BAU had all been talking about you.
Obviously Hotch noticed the team very unsuccessfully playing it cool and muttered a curse, signalling to you to head over to them. You supposed you were going to finally get your formal introductions.
“This is Rossi, Derek Morgan, JJ, Kate Cunningham, Penelope Garcia, and Doctor Spencer Reid. Guys, this is my daughter.”
If you thought there was silence before, it was nothing compared to when Hotch dropped that bomb. You could hear a pin drop.
“Um, it’s really nice to meet you all! I’ve heard so many stories about your work.”
“And we’ve never heard anything about you, pretty girl.”
“Morgan,” Hotch warned with hardly any bite as you laughed off Morgan’s playful flirting.
“Derek Morgan you are exactly like I was told. You too, Penelope, my father was not exaggerating about your outfits.”
“I thought you were starving?” Hotch changed the subject to tease you, nudging you to get moving.
“Alright, alright, I get it. You don’t want me taking all your friends,” You grinned, getting moving nonetheless. The BAU laughed, both charmed and confused by you. It wasn’t unbelievable you were Hotch’s daughter — your quiet confidence and posture was the same, but your friendliness and more easily understandable humour set you two apart.
“Bye everyone!” You called over your shoulder as Hotch rushed you out the doors, clearly keen for you to stop making friends with his coworkers.
“She seems nice,” JJ commented, sitting back down in her swivel chair.
“Can we all talk about how Pretty Boy didn’t say a word that whole conversation?” Morgan asked, a hand clamping deviously on Reid’s shoulder.
“Spencer!” Kate laughed, “You don’t have a crush, do you?”
Reid could feel his cheeks heating up of their own accord, his usually genius brain useless to counteract it.
“No!” He blurted out, “I just didn’t want to say something wrong or bore her with facts like I do with you guys.”
“So you do want to impress her?” Garcia teased with a toothy grin as Reid rushed to shake his head no.
“She’s our boss’ daughter, guys. I think all of us should want to impress her, right?”
“I dunno, Reid, I don’t see Morgan or JJ blushing right now,” Rossi chimed in with a laugh before heading back to his office.
You stepped into the elevator with Hotch, chatting happily about your day so far. Your father stuck his hand out to hold the door open with such speed it scared you a little, jumping in your own body. You relaxed when you saw it was just Penelope Garcia, hurrying towards you with a few files in her hands.
“Thank you, sir,” She breathed as the doors closed behind her, “I forgot Rossi wanted these scanned and digitised from the last case!” She punched the button for the third floor. “It was really nice to meet you, by the way. Even if Hotch has kept you a secret all these years.”
“To be totally fair to him, I wouldn’t say he exactly kept me a secret if he only found out I existed a few years ago. It was nice to finally meet you all too, though. I’ve heard so many work stories.”
You bid Garcia goodbye as the doors opened once again. Just as she was almost down the hall she heard your voice whisper, “Why didn’t you tell me doctor Reid was hot and smart?”
Penelope hardly concealed her gasp, delighted at the newfound revelation. This would be fun for her.
next part
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shouyuus · 3 months ago
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vi who sleeps in nothing but a pair of boxers/plaid pants (coz she runs super hot)...good luck trying to get any sleeping done next to allat ( . 人 . )
right. we are so back (i say, as if i've fucking gone anywhere except or being chronically online here writing vi fics) but pls put ur hands together for the original shirtless sleeper vi anon; our one tru savior who spawned all those topless vi hcs
18+, nip mention, college roommate!vi cinematic universe
vi, who runs super fucking hot all the time, sleeps in nothing but boxers or boy shorts, always kicks the blankets off the bed. before you got together, you'd sometimes find her passed out on the couch in the living room, snoring, her shirt rucked all the way up, her abs out on full display, on hand thrown over her head, the other dangling off the edge of the couch.
you've had to wake her up more than once, tug her over your shoulders, and half-drag, half-walk her to her own bedroom, dumping her on the bed, coaxing her into a semi-normal sleeping position before tucking her in.
but the next morning, when you'd wake up to check on her, you'd always find her somehow with all the sheets thrown off her (even in the dead of winter), and her shirt magically discarded somewhere on her floor, her torso bare, her nipple rings glinting in the morning light seeping in from the cracks between her eternally closed blinds.
sometimes, you'd linger over the sleeping shape of her, a stupid little indulgent smile on your lips as you sigh and walk back out of the room.
now that you're together though, it's even worse (and by that i mean better) bc she's a cuddler, you know she is. and she loves wrapping herself around you when she sleeps, digging her nose into the nape of your neck if she's big spoon, or just curling herself over your body, her leg thrown over both of yours, one of her arms looped around your middle --
except she's a human furnace, and in the summers, you've already got the ac blasting, but somehow its still not enough, and you always wake up in the middle of the night, skin sticky with a thin layer of sweat, trying to get some air. but when you try to roll away from her, she'd always whine and chase you, pull you back tighter into her arms, nuzzle against your cheek and mumble something about not leaving her.
"vi -- i'm not going anywhere, i'm just sweating --"
"mm... turn the ac up more..."
"okay, but you have to let me go first."
"mmm.... don't wanna..."
but the fact that her tits are rubbing up against your arm, her nipple rings cool along your skin -- you shiver, and she chuckles.
"can't be that hot if you're shivering like that."
you groan; she sounds way more awake now than a second ago. fuck.
"j-just -- lemme go turn down the ac --"
"don't -- i'm comfy." she locks you into her chest, her nose pressing into your cheek as she ghosts her lips over your skin. you can't help the tiny whimper that squeezes out of your throat.
you've got a quiz tomorrow (technically, later on today since it's like 4am in the morning) in fluid mechanics and you really can't be losing sleep like this but --
vi's already shifting, twisting you towards her, cupping your cheek to turn your face. your lips meet and you know it's a lost cause to try and resist.
"c'mon pretty girl -- spread those legs for me -- gotta work up a sweat first if you wanna cool down after, right?" she says as she tugs your legs open with one of her ankles hooked over yours, keeping your leg pinned beneath hers as her free hand slips beneath the waistband of your panties.
needless to say, you don't get much sleep for the rest of the night. you still manage to make it to your fluid mechanics class the next day, and the quiz goes... okay. but your ac bill is really really way too high that month.
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