#had this in drafts idk why i think i meant to post it?

[likedbyuarmyhope]

had a dream that yoongi revealed his secret boyfriend in a random livestreamed interview that no one knew was happening until it started. and the boyfriend was namjoon. and the whole world went crazy

[wishmemel]

so high school, ft. fushiguro megumi

synopsis: you’ve known megumi, nobara, and yuuji since freshman year of high school, but it's only recently that you and megumi have started realizing that your feelings might run deeper than friendship (that is, if either of you have the courage to make the first move...) tags: megumi x f! reader, non-curse au, this might be from megumi's pov idk, friends to lovers, all fluff, all characters are about 17, reader is an older sibling, megumi being his usual reserved self, reader is more bubbly, definitely self-indulgent (reader is a sanrio lover), probably ooc but this is just for fun, no beta reader so let me know if there’s any errors cw: i don't think there are any? please let me know if you spot anything, i'll add it! wc. 5.9k posted: 22/10/23 a/n: i've been working on this fic forever and i didn't think i was going to post it at first tbh... most of my fics stay in the drafts but i spent a little more than 2 weeks on this so i thought why not. also, yes, i know you can't legally drive a car in japan at 17, but we will ignore that for the sake of the fic!

Megumi chewed his lower lip, feeling the weight of the necklace stored in the lower pocket of his black backpack.

He and Yuuji had stopped by a comic book store before school started at the latter’s insistence—Megumi had already stopped by yesterday and picked up the copy he’d wanted in secret, stashed underneath his pillow—so he’d split from Yuuji and made his way to the Hello Kitty Shibuya store a few feet down. He didn’t want his friend to see the romance mangas that he was interested in, and he’d already spent most of his allowance on the two copies he’d bought yesterday. He didn’t want to be tempted any more.

Stepping into the store, dressed in all black, heavy eye bags present, his hair unkempt and spiky, he must have frightened the employees, but they’d done their best to greet him with a cheery smile and welcomed him inside. Megumi had pulled down his snapback and wandered around, wondering what he was doing flipping through a rack of cinnamoroll earrings.

By the time he was at the front counter, ears red, using the last of his allowance to buy a pink heart-shaped necklace of My Melody, he was convinced that he was insane. It was the last one on the shelf and it was… expensive, to say the least. He almost put it back on the shelf after seeing the price, but he hesitated, your sweet smile flashing in his mind. To see you rave and gush about him buying this necklace for you, which was supposedly out of stock everywhere online… Well, he really wanted to see your smile.

The employees at the register giggled over his flushed expression and prodded him about who he was buying it for, when he would give it to you, if you were already his girlfriend or if you were just a friend. They wrapped it in a pink box with a white satin ribbon and he left the store with the tiny amount of dignity he had remaining, his ears brick red from dodging all their suggestive questions. 

He hardly remembers stuffing the box deep in his backpack, underneath a spare sweater he keeps in his bag, and rushing over to the manga store with his hands in his pockets, nonchalantly waiting for Yuuji outside as if he’d never left.

They’d walked to school together, chattering away: well, it was mostly just Yuuji talking. Megumi listened, but that was the way he preferred it. 

He couldn’t remember a time when he’d ever been labelled talkative. Even as a child, Gojo, his guardian, had complained about Megumi’s blunt and silent nature. Yuuji didn’t mind the silence—it just meant that he had a chance to talk. Nobara despised it—she was always rolling her eyes or pressing him about one thing or the other. When it came to you, you liked the comfortable silence. You didn’t feel the need to fill it with conversation, and even when you did, it was because you wanted to, not because of some awkwardness that you felt between the two of you. 

The two boys met up with you and Nobara, both of you bleary-eyed and early at school for once. 

The two of you had this awful habit of staying up late and talking on the phone to get your homework done and then waking up hours after school had started, practically missing your first period classes. 

Megumi and Yuuji used to wait outside the gate for you two in the beginning, but now they knew you too well and usually headed inside, talking at Megumi’s locker. On the off chance that one of you arrived on time, you knew exactly where to find them. 

“Where were you two?” you asked, tilting your head to the side with a confused scrunch of your brows. “We looked for you at your locker, but you weren’t there. Nobara and I actually got to school on time! Aren’t you proud?”

Despite your weariness, your makeup was always done to perfection, uniform ironed and straightened, hair silky and shining underneath the scorching sun, so Megumi always thought you looked good.

It was just recently that you had started looking beautiful instead of nice and seemed more funny than even his best friend, Yuuji.

“Megumi and I ran to the comic book store,” Yuuji said, eyes lighting up with excitement. “I got the one-hundred-fifteenth edition of Human Earthworm. Basically, in this edition, Worm Man falls in love with this woman, but there’s a catch! She’s also half-worm, but she’s a worm from the top half of her body and the bottom half—“

“Itadori,” Nobara barks. “It’s too early in the morning for your SuperWorm stories.”

Nobara glares at him, looking like she hadn’t even had time to do her makeup.

Yuuji peers at her. “You look kind of… sick.”

Nobara’s eyes flare with uncontrolled rage and she leaps on Yuuji’s back, wrapping her legs around his waist as she pulls at his pink hair. “Do you want me to kill you?”

Megumi sighs while Yuuji laughs and dodges Nobara’s advances. You just giggle, your arm brushing against Megumi’s, though he wonders if he’s the only one who notices the warmth of your skin on his.

The bell rings, startling them, and Nobara slowly unlatches herself from Yuuji. You bound over to her and fix her hair and she allows you patiently.

“Good?” she asks, checking her phone’s reflection.

“Good?” Yuuji mocks, patting down his own hair. 

“You both look hot,” you affirm, giggling at Nobara’s murderous look. You tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and check your phone. Your expression brightens as you glance over at Megumi. “Megs and I have Chem together first. We have a lab today, remember?”

He doesn’t return your smile, mostly because he’s starstruck at the sight, but nods slowly to let you know he’s heard.

Nobara groans. “Yuuji and I have Gym first,” she gripes.

You snort, flicking her cheek. “I don’t want to know why you would ever decide to take that class.”

“It’s not bad or hard,” she defends, but then she puts her fist up and grits her teeth. “But there’s this really stupid teacher who always picks on me for being a woman. He thinks I’m slower ‘cause I have a vagina and that makes me want to pull out his hair.”

“And he hates me because he always says I’m cheating during our run,” Yuuji complains. “It’s not my fault I’ve trained a lot!”

You laugh again before bouncing over to Megumi and wrapping a hand around his bicep. “Let’s go,” you insist. “We have to get the seat at the back before Miwa gets there again! Last time, she took my spot and she knows it’s my spot. I always sit there!”

You drag him with you, calling your goodbyes to a stunned Yuuji and Nobara, the two aware of how much Megumi hates physical touch. They wait, watching for their friend to remove your hand, but he never does. The two exchange nervous looks as they follow you through the front doors.

You’re sitting on a large boulder, your back to him, as you listen to Yuuji and Nobara’s insistent speech. He can almost imagine your confused look: your eyebrows scrunched, lips pouty.

The three of you haven’t spotted him yet, nonchalantly strolling towards you, hands tucked in his pocket, but even at this distance he can hear what the pair are telling you.

“You cannot touch Megumi,” Nobara insists. “He hates being touched.”

“The last time I tried to hug him, he squeezed my wrist so hard I thought it’d break,” Yuuji points out, cradling his arm. “He hates physical touch.”

Megumi sighs and rolls his eyes. 

Just when he’d started getting close to someone, his cursed friends had to interfere. Even if their intentions are in the right place, can’t they mind their own business? He isn’t exactly the people-pleasing type: if he’s letting you touch him, it’s on purpose. 

Both Nobara and Yuuji share exactly one brain cell, he thinks. 

“Oh… really?” Is he imagining the hint of disappointment in your tone? “Ah, I didn’t know. Okay… I’ll try to keep my distance from now on. Thanks for telling me.”

“What are you three talking about?” he asks, stopping at your back.

You still as his leg brushes against your back. You tilt your head back, meeting his eyes with a tentative smile. He’s awestruck all over again, like every time you flash him that smile. 

“You,” Nobara answers truthfully, taking his attention off of you. 

Yuuji elbows her and laughs awkwardly. “She’s kidding. W-we were talking about Human Earthworm 5! Yeah, Human Earthworm. Obviously. I told them we should go see the fifth—“

You roll your eyes, watching him take a large step over the boulder to stand next to Yuuji. “I don’t know why they’re lying. We were just talking about where to go for lunch. Yesterday, Nobara and I got to pick and we went out for sushi, remember? We thought you guys might have a preference today.”

“That’s what we were talking about,” Yuuji affirms quickly with a painfully bright smile. Megumi isn’t so awestruck at the sight. 

There’s a collective moment of silence; they’re all holding their breath, waiting for his answer. 

He looks at you. You give him an innocent smile, blinking, and he finds it slightly frightening how easily you can lie to his face like that.

“Okay.” Megumi shrugs, accepting your words. “I’m in the mood for tteokbokki,” he says, despite his lack of allowance, if only to change the topic. He remembers Yuuji salivating over the thought of the street food yesterday in Math class, even after lunch. 

“There’s a place near here that has corn dogs and tteokbokki,” Nobara mentions, checking the Maps app on her phone. “It’s a five minute walk.”

“I want tteokbokki with a boiled egg,” Yuuji announces eagerly. 

“Tteokbokki is best with egg,” Nobara agrees. “Wanna share?”

“I want the whole egg,” Yuuji warns.

“You can spare me half,” she insists. “I want it too!”

“If we want to go, then we should go now,” you interrupt. “We only have thirty minutes left.”

Both Nobara and Yuuji start bickering over their order and you take that chance to sneak a quick glance at your phone, frowning at the recurring texts you’ve been receiving. 

Megumi looks to you, eyes catching onto the worried crease between your eyebrows. You put away your phone at his watchful gaze.

“Sorry,” you say, feigning a smile. “Let’s go.”

He nods, wondering if he should ask you why you had that concerned look in your eyes. But Megumi isn’t good at words; he always stumbles and trips over them and can never quite get his thoughts out properly, unlike you. He’s always admired the eloquent and seemingly veritable way you speak, even when you lie. You’re always able to put on a mask. 

He’s not so good with words, so in a rare display of bravery, he resorts to offering you his hand, as if extending his heart to you. His ears turn red as he looks away from you, realizing that Yuuji and Nobara have stopped arguing long enough to watch. 

You blink uncertainly, then beam up at him and take his hand. 

Your hand is warm in his and much much softer than the callouses that roughen his. Often, you offer him hand lotion in Chemistry and he hasn’t the heart to refuse you. You squeeze a dollop of the rose-scented cream in his hand before doing the same on your own. He gets the pleasure of watching you beam as the two of you rub the lotion into your palms. As a result of your generosity, his hands have been feeling softer than usual.

You thank him for the gesture and he just shrugs, bumping shoulders with you as you enter the address into your Maps app, trying to avoid the awkward atmosphere in the air. 

“We can get two eggs,” Nobara attempts, to break the tension. 

Yuuji agrees immediately with no argument. 

The jewelry box feels especially heavy in Megumi’s bag.

When the three of you reach the restaurant, Yuuji and Nobara immediately fight over who’s paying for the extra eggs. Nobara insists that it should be Yuuji who pays because he should be the one paying penance, while Yuuji wants to split the cost in half. The two of them bicker a little more, embarrassing you and Megumi in front of the cashier before they place their order, and then continue to do so while taking a seat at a table for four.

You just sigh and muster your brightest smile to make up your friends. Megumi hovers closely behind you as you place your order, feeling slightly protective of you in front of the handsome male noting your order. 

The man is tall, maybe taller than Megumi himself, and he has this air of easiness that Megumi instantly dislikes. What, with his eager grins and frequent winks sent your way, it’s clear that he just can’t—won’t—take a hint. His name tag reads Haru, which has many many meanings, but the one Megumi decides on is sun. He’s overwhelmingly sunny, much like Yuuji. But while Yuuji’s is a natural sunniness, a disposition that comes easily to him, Haru has this overbearing nature, like when he leans over the register to take your cash and purposely lets your fingers brush his. He has these charming chocolate-coloured curls and he keeps brushing them out of his big, dark eyes. Even through his instant dislike, Megumi can’t help comparing himself to the man.

He keeps wondering: Is this your type? Would you be interested in someone like this, so sunny and bright, almost as much as you are?

“A mozzarella corn dog with cinnamon sugar and the small tteokbokki, no egg,” you’re confirming, cutting through the jealous haze that is his thoughts. You glance back at him, finally taking his attention off of Haru. “Want anything?”

“Naah, I ate earlier,” he says with a shake of his head, sidling closer so that your back brushes against his chest. You startle slightly, but don’t move away. Haru’s smile falters a little. Megumi wants to stick his tongue out at him petulantly like a little kid who’s just won a game of rock, paper, scissors. 

Somehow, Megumi can tell you see through his lie, likely because you’ve been with him for almost the entire day, but you don’t argue and he quickly pulls out his phone and distracts himself with the Weather app so that you won’t suspect him further. 

A forecast of rain, he notices, startling. 

He usually stores an umbrella or two in his bag because he knows you never bring one—it doesn’t rain as often as you’d like, but even when it does, you enjoy the water soaking you to the bone. Megumi usually watches you, Nobara, and Yuuji splash in puddles, his black umbrella already opened up to keep him dry. When the three of you get tired or cold, you can count on him to lend you one, and you often plaster yourself to his side, getting his clothes wet as your teeth chatter underneath the umbrella. 

His fond expression breaks when you nudge his shoulder and the two of you make your way to the table where your friends are already seated, Nobara sitting cross-legged on the seat to face Yuuji, hands waving about animatedly. 

“You know, you were checking that guy out for an awfully long time,” you tease with a cheeky smile.

Megumi’s mind doesn’t put two and two together. In fact, he feels like it might be short-circuiting. “What?”

None of what you’re saying makes sense to him—isn’t it so obvious that he’s interested in you? 

“You know, Megs, if you’re gay, you just have to tell me,” you say solemnly, trying not to let your face crack. “I’m sure Nobara and Yuuji will also support you. Nobara likes girls, and, besides, that’s what friends are for. We’re here for you, even if you’re into the douchey cashier.”

“You thought he was douchey?” he blurts, the only thing that his brain seems to process. 

“So, you are gay!” you exclaim, slapping your receipt onto the table where Nobara and Yuuji are sitting. They jump at the thump sound the receipt makes on the table, their conversation interrupted. 

“Fushigoru’s gay?” Nobara asks skeptically with a raised brow as she turns around to face the two of you. An amused smile plays on her mouth. “I knew it. I called it first!”

“I said it first!” Yuuji protests. “Remember when he punched Kai in the face and I said that he did it because he thought his was was just too pretty to—“

“I’m not gay,” Megumi snaps, cheeks on fire. “And I don’t like Kai!”

You stifle a giggle, sliding your receipt in Nobara’s direction. “I got a corndog and tteokbokki. We can share.”

Nobara scans the receipt with a raised brow, letting Yuuji read off her shoulder. “Another phone number?” she teases slyly. 

“What?” you and Megumi blurt at the same time. 

Megumi snatches the receipt from her freshly-manicured nails and his eyes widen in horror at the series of numbers that are, indeed, printed at the bottom in black pen next to a winky emoji. Beside him, you cringe and Megumi crushes it up in his palm and shoves it into his pocket. 

He raises a brow, sliding into the booth, and asks, “Did you want that?”

You shake your head almost immediately and follow after him, sitting across from Nobara. She taps the side of your sneaker with her own and you look her way long enough to see a mischievous glint enter her eyes. 

“You’ve just been collecting phone numbers left and right, haven’t you?” Nobara sings, wiggling her brows at you to break the silence. “Quite the player, aren’t you?”

“This is the first number I’ve gotten all year,” you protest, cheeks flushing with embarrassment. “You know that—you guys are always with me!”

“What about the guy at the vending machine yesterday?” Yuuji asks.

“Kai?” you ask in disbelief. “He’s not—We aren’t—”

Megumi blurts, “Kai asked you out yesterday?”

You groan aloud, burying your face in your hands. “No, he didn’t! He just expressed his interest. I told him I didn’t like him and we left it at that.”

And here Megumi was thinking that the guy had learned his lesson—It was true that Megumi had punched him in the face, but not for the reasons that Yuuji predicted. If Yuuji had truly heard what Kai had said about you, he wouldn’t be nearly as lax with his teasing remarks. And, fine, it was true—Kai did have somewhat of a pretty face and Megumi did have this tiny inkling that Kai had feelings for you, but he’d done his best to ignore that small, jealous whisper and tuck it aside. He never imagined that Kai would act on his feelings.

Maybe Megumi hadn’t punched him hard enough. 

Megumi removes his snapback and places it on the table, rubbing the material between his fingertips to soothe the burning in his chest. 

Yuuji raises an eyebrow, a mischievous smile playing on his mouth. He looks like he’s about to make another unnecessary comment, but he’s interrupted by Haru, the cashier, serving them their lunch on a long, silver tray. 

You make eye contact with him and suddenly regret your decision to sit on the outside of the booth when he smiles at you for long moments while serving, explaining each and every dish with precise detail to you and only you. He flatly ignores your friends and keeps his eyes locked onto you, even while serving—you’re half afraid he might drop something that way. On the positive side, he knows exactly what he’s talking about—each dish, each flavour, each part is explained down to a T. 

You know more about canned Coca-Cola now than you ever have in your entire life. Who knew that the drink used to contain cocaine before 1929? Not you. But you’re thinking you could use some right now to get out of this awkward situation.

On the negative side—Yuuji is stifling his laugh, Nobara looks like she might explode any moment now, and Megumi… Megumi is glaring daggers at the man who ignores the icy look and continues his long-winded speech. 

You break eye contact and try not to roll your eyes as you lock gazes with Yuuji across the table. He gives you a knowing look, pressing his trembling lips together to hold in the laughter that dances in his eyes. 

He seems to be saying this is all your fault. 

You just sigh, a smile tugging at your lips. “I’ll pay for your eggs," is what you mouth back at him. 

Yuuji’s smile widens and he makes out, “Deal!”, right back at you. 

Haru has only just moved on to explaining how tteokbokki is made in their kitchen when Megumi tucks his black snapback onto your head, bringing it down to cover your view. He opens his mouth to argue but is interrupted by Nobara who snaps, “I think we know what we ordered. And Chef doesn’t seem like it’s part of your job description.”

The silence that befalls the restaurant makes your face burn hot with embarrassment. You sigh and cover your face with your hands, wishing a hole would appear in the floor so you could crawl into it, roll around, and just die. 

Megumi is not sure whether to feel grateful to Nobara for speaking up or annoyed because he was going to say something first. 

Haru mumbles, “It’s not. I’m a server.”

“I think we can handle it from here,” Yuuji coughs awkwardly. 

“Thank you,” you mutter under your breath, nudging Megumi with your knee. 

“Thanks,” Megumi repeats tersely, unpleasantly reminded of the existence of social etiquette. 

“Men take a hint,” Nobara mutters, glaring at Haru’s retreating back. “Level: impossible.”

You snort under a breath and point a set of packaged chopsticks at her. “And you made fun of me for rejecting Kai. He also wouldn’t take a hint and was incredibly insistent—I mean, what kind of guy waits outside of class for you every. single. day. after you reject him?”

Nobara slides her tteokbokki in her direction, seeing as how all of the dishes are placed in a spot advantageous to you. You give both her and Yuuji a pair of chopsticks, then push Megumi’s smaller tteokbokki dish towards him. 

“Megumi and I wait outside your classes for you,” Yuuji points out, breaking apart his chopsticks with a skeptical eyebrow raised. 

Indeed, Megumi is frozen, awaiting your response with bated breath. 

Do you find him creepy or weird when he waits for you? He’d always thought you might appreciate having someone to walk to your classes and chatter with, especially when Nobara isn’t around. He hadn’t considered the fact that you might think of him as a creep…

“You and Megumi don’t count,” you insist, glancing at him with your brows furrowed. “We’re friends. It’s different. Kai would bring me a different flavoured chocolate each day and deliberately hand it out in front of a group of guys that are known to gossip. He’d make these stupid comments, put his hand on my shoulder, and act like we were dating.”

You unwrap a set of chopsticks, snap them in half and offer them to Megumi who takes them with a troubled look. 

“Stop it,” you argue, nudging his leg with yours. ��I already told you: I’m uncomfortable when Kai does it. You guys are my friends—it’s not any different than when Nobara waits for me.”

“Preach,” Nobara says solemnly, shoving another rice cake in her mouth. Yuuji startles and protests at the fact that he’s been too busy conversing with you to even have a bite, but Nobara just sticks her tongue out at him petulantly. 

So now he’s being compared to Nobara, Megumi sulks. He’s not sure which is worse—being likened to a creep or to Nobara. 

You nudge him with your elbow this time, shooting him an effortless smile. “Come on, cut out the whole protective older brother thing. I can see it in your face. Nothing happened, Megs.”

Megumi starts, then just nods, though he hadn’t been thinking of Haru. Unfortunately, your words do nothing to ease his mind. 

Now you’re referring to him as your older brother… He can’t say he’s not used to it, but… he doesn’t want to be your older brother, nor does he want to act like one.

Nobara smirks. “Yeah, Megs, listen to your—”

He kicks her shin from across the table and her eyes blow wide. “Hey! You didn’t do anything when…” Nobara’s train of thought is cut off when Yuuji elbows her. She settles for glaring at Megumi with a look that says I’ll get you back. 

Megumi looks indifferent to her nonverbal threat as he takes the first bite from his meal. Seeing him eat spurs you into action and you open up the container with your mozzarella corn dog.

He knows you see Nobara as a fun, sister-like figure: someone you can laugh with, go shopping with, and call whenever you need advice, gossip, or a pick-me-up. With Nobara, your time flies by in seconds, the two of you always busy giggling and laughing on FaceTime. 

You see Yuuji as a younger brother: someone to indulge and take care of, especially because Megumi doesn’t humour him and Nobara bickers with him day and night, much like a sibling would. You ruffle his hair when you’re pleased with him, making him beam, and you graciously tag along to the movie theater with him when a new Human Earthworm movie is released, since he and Nobara staunchly refuse whenever Yuuji pleads. 

So, maybe Megumi’s role has been predetermined from the start. He’s always been overprotective of his friends and he nags like a mother hen, especially when it comes to you. Whenever you text him that you’re going out, accompanied with a few pictures, asking him what to wear, he always makes sure that you have your location on, your ringer on, that you aren’t on silent mode, or you haven’t muted his texts. He makes sure he knows exactly where you’re going, when you’ll be back; he makes sure his phone is always nearby so he never misses a text from you, in the rare case that you might message him to pick you up. After all, he is your group’s designated driver. He figures you might need him once in a while. 

He chews his rice cakes slowly, trying to ignore the burn in his chest. He glances over at you, busy in conversation. The three of you are used to his frequent silence; you don’t take it as odd anymore, nor do you press for him to join the conversation. You all know he’ll speak up when he wants to. 

Is he overbearing? 

Actually… he’s not unlike you, in that sense. 

You’re the first to remind Yuuji, as always, that he’s left his phone in Megumi’s car, or his books in the classroom, or that his hoodie is in his locker, as always, but you’d picked it up for him because you knew he’d forget. Before he can even tell you that he’s lost his pencil for the third time this week, you’re pressing one into his hands with a skeptical eyebrow raise that asks, anything else? He’s like a little puppy that you look after when no one else will. 

With Nobara, he’s seen you often calling her when she’s alone in a taxi and she texts you that the driver is being weird. You stay on call with her, purposely raising your voice loud enough for the driver to hear you ask repeatedly, “Where are you? When are you getting here? We’re all waiting for you.” You always wait on her text that tells you she’s reached home safe before your shoulders loosen and you feel some of the tension leave you. 

Before Megumi goes out, you’re over at his house, fussing over his clothes (the same ones he wore a day ago), his hair (that never seems to settle, no matter how much gel or hairspray you use), his face. You pinch his cheeks, tell him to go wash his face again because he still looks half-asleep, toss him a rose-scented lotion tube, straight from your bag, and insist that he keep it. You completely baby him. 

And when the four of you go out for lunch, more often than not, it’s you who orders for the rest of them, Megumi tagging along sometimes, if only to insist on paying. You half-listen to their conversation, half-wonder when the food will arrive. And when it finally does, you’re the first to urge them to start: handing them their utensils, breaking apart their chopsticks, and reminding them to eat well. 

You’re used to looking after others and putting their needs before your own, as the eldest daughter of your family. Megumi is overprotective as well, but he’s also hyper-independent, used to caring for himself without anyone else. Around you, he always finds his demeanor molding, softening—he acts more spoiled, more sulky, almost as if he’s trying to catch your attention, to make you fuss over him. And you do. You always indulge him, though he’s sure you can see right through his act. 

You’re laughing at something Yuuji says when you notice him looking at you, as if he’s seeing you in a new light. You hold your corn dog up to him, a sweet smile on your face.

Megumi blinks, ears reddening, as he shakes his head. “N-no, I wasn’t—“

“Have some. It’s good,” you insist, and he can’t refuse you.

So he leans forward in his seat, his thigh brushing against yours—he shouldn’t feel so flustered by that action, right? But you’re still wearing his snapback on your head and it looks ridiculous on you, oversized and just barely hanging onto your head. 

Sharing clothes or accessories isn’t new between the two of you either, nor are brief touches like his leg against yours. For some reason, he’s starting to feel hyper-aware of his every movement around you in a way that he doesn’t feel around Nobara, or even Yuuji. 

Often, when the four of you have sleepovers or movie nights, typically held at Megumi’s house (he’s always playing host, but he’s grateful that you help out by always arriving an hour earlier with bags of snacks. Gojo adores you for that reason alone), you don’t shy away from physical touch. You’ve fallen asleep on his arm more times than he can count, laid your legs in Yuuji’s lap while the four of you argue over which movie to watch, and squeezed Nobara’s hand throughout countless horror movies. 

And yet… Your thighs brushing through your jeans as he leans close is somehow the most intimate feeling he’s had since his kindergarten crush had hugged him tight on the playground in front of his friends. 

You hold your corn dog up to his mouth and he takes a bite, relishing in the stretch of mozzarella as you pull the snack away from him with a laugh. He keeps his eyes locked on your lit smile, unaware of Yuuji and Nobara’s troubled gaze trained on him.

You’re like the sun; wherever you go, you shine so bright, making him want to reflect you: he can’t help smiling back. 

Sharing food has never been a big deal between the four of you—well, three of you. Before you had found them and became involved in their little friend group, Megumi used to firmly refuse to drink from the same bottle as Nobara or eat from the same spoon as Yuuji, on account of “hygiene”, he claimed. Then you’d stumbled and tripped right into their world and the easy way you’d steal Yuuji’s gatorade from right under his nose and take a sip or share a bite of the cake pop you’d brought for lunch with Nobara had been enough to make him loosen up too, just enough. Eventually, he’d forgotten about that little rule, all because of you, with no shortage of teasing from Yuuji and Nobara.

He drinks from the same glass as you when you’re over at his house, and when you find yourself parched at school, he’s the first to offer to run to the convenience store and back in time for your first period class, Chemistry, which you share with him. The two of you often pass the drink back and forth in class and he tosses it out afterwards when you walk out together, complaining about the homework or the in-class lesson. 

Although, he wonders absentmindedly, if you’re eating from the same spoon as him or sipping from the same can from him, can that be counted as… an indirect kiss?

His eyes are inexplicably drawn to your glossy lips as you beam at him and put together a string of words that flies right over his head. What if he leaned forward, just a little? The sparkles on your lips are illuminated by the warm lighting of the restaurant and he finds himself musing about the flavour of your gloss. 

Cherry, perhaps? He’d like cherry. Or even strawberry might be nice, sweet and sugary, he thinks. Anything would do, if it was you. 

You call his name again, snapping him out of his daze, and he stammers, “W-what?”

You giggle, tucking his snapback onto his head and covering his face. Why doesn’t he have a voice recording of that precious laugh of yours? “Idiot. I was asking if it was good!”

“Oh. Yeah. Yeah, it’s great,” he mumbles dazedly with no idea of what you’re talking about as he adjusts his hat.

He blinks, trying to clear the fog in his head as you wait expectantly, ignoring Yuuji and Nobara’s snickers in the background. 

“I-it was really good. The corn dog, I mean,” he clarifies, gaze dipping to your lips again. “I liked it. But… Lunch is on me next time.”

You snort, looking satisfied with his answer. “Lunch is always on you. Pigs won’t start flying if you let me pay for your meal once.”

Megumi has what you call textbook manners when it comes to things like this; he’s overly stiff, overly formal. He can’t remember the last time he’d let any of you pay for him without returning the favour. It’s more than just a matter of his pride and ego (though that certainly plays a hand.) It’s the fact that he can’t fathom depending on any of you like that. He can’t accept this level of warmth or care without his mind whispering that it’s only a matter of time before you’ll all leave, just like his father, just like his mother. 

He exhales deeply and pops open the can of Coca-Cola that you bought him. The bubbles hiss and fizzle before settling down. As soon as they do, he slides the can towards you with a jerk of his head: an order to take the first sip. 

You give him an indulgent smile and follow his instructions, leaving behind a mauve stain on the can. Then, you push the can towards him with the same head jerk motion that he gave you. He resists the temptation of giving in to your antics and smiling as a result. 

You’re messing with his head, he groans silently. He’s never going to be the same after this. More than that, he thinks, glancing towards Nobara and Yuuji who observe him with matching knowing looks, the two of them are never going to let him live this down. 

Maybe you don't know it yet, but Megumi is yours.

comments and reblogs are appreciated!

[81folklore]

helpless - RUSSELL

pairings: george russell x hamilton!ensemble!reader (fc: ella kora)

summary: george ends his softlaunch with a cast member of hamilton on the westend

authors note: sorry for not posting in forever but ive had no motivation and i cant find the want to finish some of my drafts so have a brand new smau thats been BREWING in my brain ever since i saw hamilton the other week. its literally one my favorite musicals so you know i had to incorporate my two interests, you dont need to have seen hamilton or know about the story for this!

important: rg63 is george’s private instagram

masterlist

georgerussell63

liked by alex_albon, yourusername and 366,450 others

water, sports and sunsets☀️

view comments

user7 shirtless george is back!!

user10 hes so…

user45 THE SOFTLAUNCH HAS TO END SOON RIGHT😭😭

user12 i miss when george wouldnt make me feel single every post😔

yourusername oh myyy🫠

yourusername

liked by jakeh_j, lilymhe and 235 others

smiles (mostly) all round this summer☀️

tagged: rg63 and jakeh_j

view comments

rg63 miss you darling🤍

yourusername miss you too love💜

jakeh_j dinner soon?

yourusername yes!! g is coming to a show soon so we can do it then :)

jakeh_j sounds good👍

user6 cant wait to see you in hamilton!

yourfriend cutie🫶

georgerussell63 and alex_albon have added to their stories

yourusername ahhh cant wait to see you all💜

f1updates

liked by user72, user1 and 2367 others

george, alex and lily with fans today in london

view comments

user1 im the one in the third photo, they were in a rush as they had to go to the theatre but they were all so sweet and took the time to sign a hat i had!

user10 was anyone else with them?

user1 there wasnt! i dont think george was with his girlfriend but she could’ve been waiting for them somewhere else☺️

user72 idk why them going to the theatre together is funny but it is😭

user5 right?? it feels so random😭

user53 i can’t believe they watched hamilton before me

georgerussell63

liked by alex_albon, yourusername and 872,426 others

i have been with you since the beginning of your incredible journey of living out your dream of being in the west end. i know how much getting this part in hamilton meant to you and getting to see you on stage brings me so much joy, forever proud of you darling🤍

tagged yourusername

view comments

yourusername george☹️i will love you forever and ever thank you soso much for being by my side💜

yourusername you have no idea how happy it makes me to know you are in the crowd

alex_albon thanks for being my friend so lily can see her favorite musical😁

georgerussell63 yeah no worries man👊

yourusername alex i hope you know its me she loves to see, not hamilton🤨

alex_albon your wrong.

lilymhe shes very much correct🫶

user7 WHAT IS HAPPENING

user5 HARD LAUNCH HARD LAUNCH

user25 WAKE UP GEORGE POSTED HER AHHHH user6

user6 OMG I LITERALLY SAW HER THE OTHER DAY😭

user10 this is so cute (im sobbing)

user8 wow the highway is such a good place to stargaze!!

user83 i cannot cope why is this so🫠🫠

lewishamilton 💜💜

yourusername

liked by georgerussell63, lilymhe and 6273 others

i look into your eyes and the skys the limit. georgie my love for you is timeless, each day i think about how lucky i am to have you by my side and how lucky i am to get to be the one to love you. you have changed the way i view the world and myself and my life will always be better now youve entered it, and no matter what this chapter in our lives will stick with me forever and always💜

tagged georgerussell63

view comments

georgerussell63 i am so grateful you have come into my life

georgerussell63 i love you so much darling

yourusername i will never stop loving you🫶

lilymhe when will i get posts like this☹️

yourusername yours is next lovely🤭

alex_albon babe?? i post you all the time

lilymhe and yet you havent used a lyric from hamilton🤨

user16 oh i love them so much😭

user45 my😭love😭for😭you😭is😭timeless😭

user12 hahhaa im so happy for you😭😭

jakej_h i hate people in love

yourusername you love us really😁

user9 MY HEART CANNOT TAKE THIS

user7 OH MY GOD GEORGE LOOKS SO GOOD🫠

liked by yourusername and others

user101 george is so boyfriend🤭

user62 that first picture😮‍💨

user99 they are so in love😭

[antariies]

how to build a chair........... director's cut ∠( ᐛ 」∠)__ this is about to be a very long very self-indulgent post where i just talk about my own writing. i also doodled on all the pages i think it makes the whole thing more fun to go thru. welcome to my ted talk

SIKE before i begin. credit where credit is due, this post was the start of it all. it changed my brain chemistry my jaw was dropped i was in awe i was obsessed and before i even finished it i knew that i would eventually have to make something similar for the commander or else i would be cursed to think about it for the rest of my life. and i Was cursed for like two years every day i would just be like........ is today the day i sit down and draft the commander chair fic of my dreams....... maybe tomorrow......

and then i got accepted as a writer for the gw2 zine ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ the chair idea was actually my backup option in case my first idea didn't pan out, and thank god it didn't, bc this one worked so much better. (still working on my initial idea, just turning it into a full fic! it was wayyy too long to be a zine submission.)

this is the chair i used. i downloaded the assembly instructions and tried out a bunch of different free pdf editors until i found one i liked, which ended up being sedja. if anyone's interested in doing something like this, i recommend printing out the pdf and writing directly on it! it was a lot easier for me to just figure out everything on paper first and then digitalize it after :P here's a picture of my physical copy

okay actually getting into it for real this time !!!!!

1. yeah i could've just erased the ikea logo and left a blank space but then i realized i could turn it into an in-universe joke. and then i ran with it.

2. i ripped this straight from the product description on the website. thanks ikea

3. i'm not sure if anyone went and looked it up, but it's a real item code!

hehe :3c

4. if your commander willingly goes to therapy i'm happy for them but TO ME? you'd have to drag the commander kicking and screaming. it's not that they don't know that something is wrong with them, they know, and they know YOU know. you're just never supposed to talk about it. they don't look at their own psych eval results bc that's none of their business.

5. i normally avoid specifying the commander's race when i write them bc i enjoy the challenge, but for the zine i was assigned to write about a norn commander! as a human main i was uhhhh very ill-equipped. but that just meant i had to study up on my norn lore (•̀ᴗ•́)و i spent hours on the wiki, then went around interviewing norn mains for their opinions, which was great fun :D it all helped me narrow the focus of my piece: joining the war on commander objectification on the side of commander objectification (ㅅ´ ˘ `)♡ and no one self-aggrandizes quite like the norn commander!

and to balance that i knew my narrator had to be patronizing as shitttt. they've clearly been following the commander since the beginning and seem to know a lot of intimate details about their life, despite not thinking very highly of them. wonder who that could be :3c

6. i can't stop making references. so the original part number is actually #122620 in the manual but i've changed it here (and on the previous page!) to #082812, as in 08/28/12, the date gw2 was released! no real reason for it, @dalennaugw suggested it for funsies and i liked it. if you're my pal and i show you a wip and you have a cool idea for it, chances are i Will put that shit in. hi dale if you're reading this

7. another thing about me. i loveeee repetition. here the word "over" is repeated four times to match the picture. honestly a lot of the creative process for this piece was just staring at the pages and figuring out how to tie the pictures to the commander in ways that weren't extremely corny or trite. idk why i enjoy writing like this when i could be frolicking in the beautiful prosaic meadows of a word doc instead but. it's like i see a tiny little restrictive box and i'm like OH BOY can't wait to think inside of that thing!!! i like when the format matters just as much as the content and in some cases informs the content. am i making any sense here. well all you need to know is that i'm a virgo and my favorite book is house of leaves

7. aw fuck just realized i wrote 7 twice. whatever i'm not changing it this is 7 part two now. the theme of my piece is glory, what it means to the norn commander, and how far they're willing to go for it.

8. does norn culture place emphasis on seeking individual glory Yes are norn also very community-oriented Also Yes. i think it's common to see norn kids napping together in a big pile, usually after they've worn themselves out playing games outside. it makes sense practically (apes together warm) and socially (pack bonding good) but that's just my hc. growing up i used to share a bed with my cousins all the time so it's normal to me.

a young, naive not-yet-commander, with no real combat experience, has no point of reference to compare a "blaze of glory" to. but the way everyone talks about it, it must be a good thing. a wonderful thing. a reward fit for a life well-fought and a legend hard-earned. so they imagine it must feel like falling asleep surrounded by the people they love, who love them in turn.

9. .........i was playing a lot of ace attorney when i wrote this page. i wish i was joking 👍🏼

10. ohhh shit the truth come OUT this whole chair thing was all a ploy just so i could write about the departing. again.

will i ever stop thinking about her. reply hazy, try again later.

11. out of all the pages, this one has the most emphasis on text placement, like comparing the enlarged picture of the screw to a sword, the numbers counting the screws, and "up up up" being arranged to mimic a wisp of smoke.

i also wanted to lean into the viking/norse mythology influences with my word choice.

12. more nods to norn culture. i didn't know they referred to the six human gods as "spirits of action" until i was doing the research for this piece :O

and the domain of the lost is called a hall of ghosts....... cause valhalla.....

13.

i'm sorry this so funnyyy. SAYS the guy who literally clawed their way back to life for a rematch.

me when i'm in a sore loser competition and my opponent is the COMMANDER!!!

14. arms as in "limbs" and also arms as in "armaments" :•]

15. haha get it because the picture makes it look like there are two mirrored speech bubbles while the text paints two opposing interpretations of the norn commander. one that's selfless and humble versus one that's selfish and vainglorious.

16. and the best part is IT DOESN'T MATTER which one is true bc at the end of the day no matter what their motivation, balthazar is dead by their hand. ofc i'm of the opinion that the most compelling interpretation of the commander is both, simultaneously. contradictions are good for the soul.

17. i could've name-dropped kas, the only person present that would do something like that, but i felt it was better to leave it ambiguous.

18. low-hanging fruit. the metaphor was so obvious here but i had to do it. for the culture

19. the alternate title for this piece was "THIS COULD BE GLORY". "how to build a chair" was only supposed to be a placeholder title til i figured out a better one, but the innocuousness of it grew on me. also i came up with the other one too late and had already advertised under the chair title lol

20. my first instinct was to end it with something more reassuring, like "what you have built so far is enough" but that would've been an ooc switch-up for a narrator who has been nothing but snide and detached this whole time. gotta stick to my guns

21.

obligatory chair joke as the last line. for realsies though it’s meant to be an earnest appeal to the commander to take a break, to have a seat, but it’s also a challenge. are they willing to lean on their friends? are the bonds they’ve forged strong enough to hold their weight? are they willing to put their faith in someone else’s hands? are they brave enough to try? well. only one way to find out.

also guess what that wasn’t even the real last page of the manual. it's THIS

but no way i was letting this be the image we ended on. IT LOOKS LIKE A DICK AND BALLS!!!

and on that note, THANK YOU if you made it this far!! a very special shout-out to @hawkepockets, my lovely boyfriend and beta reader, without whom this piece would not be nearly as polished. i would bring him pages to look over and he would say Scrap half of those lines you can do better than that. kill your darlings. i would complain and argue for a few minutes then we would revise. rinse and repeat until we had honed this thing to perfection. i can't stress enough the importance of having a second pair of eyes on your work throughout your creative process, even better if it's someone who challenges you. i don't even pay him 🫶🏼

and if there was anything i didn't cover that you still have questions about, please feel free to shoot me an ask! (ㅅ´ ˘ `)♡ thanks for reading! see u later dudes ;P

[ppumeonae-bigvibe]

centrestage

↖ navigation: nct masterlist || main masterlist

pairing: friend to lover! doyoung x gn! reader

↬ tags: not a regular listener of little light but whenever i hear it my soul ascends out of my body into the galaxies (warning: not a universal experience), friends to lovers, mentions of doyoung being a performer), open-ending because again idk, pulled this out of the depths of wattpad drafts uhh

summary: doyoung has only got this chance to confess his love to the one person who means everything to him

word count: 719 words

a/n: in light of what has been happening, i will also be working to remove any past post in the coming week that i have written of nct’s taeil,, as for my stance, i do believe the rest of the nct members shouldn’t be dragged down until more information has been given! till then i will keep supporting nct and the units

doyoung's heart beat in trepidation against his chest as he dials your handphone number for the third time that night. he was still coming from from his high, adrenaline pumping through his veins.

"where are you now?" he weaves through backstage, pressing the phone to his ear.

"i left."

he clicks his tongue, mumbling apologies before speaking to you, "i know you did. i had my eyes on you the entire time i was on stage." he paused to push the exit door, "are you nearby? i wanna see you, please."

the cool breeze of the night kissed his sweat-soaked skin as he awaited your response. he did know, however that your resolve was breaking with every passing beat of silence.

"i'm...sat at the nearby park. i'll wait for you." you hung up.

without a moment's hesitation, doyoung starts sprinting ahead, feet moving faster than his mind can even comprehend where you actually were. running like his life depended on it, he hangs onto the hope that he could officially tell you his feelings.

as soon as he spots you sitting by the curb of the playground, doyoung speeds up till he stands before you, huffing and puffing away.

"i wasn't...going anywhere. you didn't need to run here." you averted your gaze, and under the artificial street lights, doyoung think you couldn't look any better than this moment.

"i...know. i just wanted...to see you..." he catches his breath, slowly sitting down beside you. this curb you two were sat on has seen more memories than he could count: from the very first time he met you as a child in this park, to when you two skipped classes to chill here in the lazy afternoon sun, to the heart-to-heart talks shared in the late of the night.

"you left as soon as i ended." doyoung begins after a while, gathering his thoughts as he wiped his sweaty palms against his jeans, "did i...was i not impressive?" he felt small under your gentle gaze and you shook your head, "you were every bit of the performer you dreamt to be."

"then why did you go? i was..." he held back. he wanted to dedicate his own composed song to you, but the moment he saw you leave, his vision got crowded with the fans asking for an encore. he decides to continue, "i was hoping to catch you to tell you thanks for coming."

he rests his weight towards his right palm, leaning closer to you.

"i'm sorry." you blurted out and doyoung jerks his head towards you, eyebrows furrowing, "what are you sorry for?"

"you've gotten quite famous even with you own gigs and everything. look at you, you belong out there on the stage with the fans cheering your name. not with some...person like me."

"i don't care about that! tell me, did i capture your attention on stage?" doyoung reached over to grasp your hand, forcing you to look at him. the dim lights made your eyes sparkle and doyoung wishes he could read your mind this instant.

"of course." you replied with certainty and he pulled you into his embrace, "then that's all i wanna hear. screw those fans because...i was performing for you and you alone."

doyoung pulls away, not breaking eye contact with you, "that song? that was meant for you. it was meant to be a confession song for your ears to here, which was why i invited you to come today."

"i wanted to tell you that i love you."

the second the words left his lips, he almost immediately feels that thread snap in him. "i have loved you from the day we first met, and i've never stopped loving you ever since." he remembers the day he finally accepted his feelings for you, growing stronger with each passing day he spent with you. he remembers that worn-out notebook with heart doodles and some lyrics he penned down, definitely not forgetting the multiple voice recordings he saved to create the very song he played just for you today.

he hears you inhale audibly and he spots that uncertainty in your eyes, "don't say that. not when you're gaining popularity. i'm just gonna be a hindrance."

"i'm willing to do anything it takes to be with you. so, will you be mine?"

@ppumeonae-bigvibe 's work ; likes and reblogs are appreciated <3

[muniimyg]

heyy idk if anyone ever asked u this before so i am gonna ask lol !

which one of your works do u love the most and why :>

not in order

your universe: i rlly liked the concept. its an easy read, characters are easy to digest, but it also had that element of push and pull in terms of their romance. it’s not really meant to be specific and super detailed (again because it’s supposed to be an easy read), so when i recall little concepts like their names (ace & aki), their contact names (fermented cum), and their setting in general was really fun for me. i’ve always liked writing uni au’s but this one hit the spot. i also remember it fondly because my readers were super into it! the interactions made writing the story so fun and it’s how i got close with 2 of my favourite readers 😋

nonsense: god this jimin was so sexy to me. the idea of 2 virgins being each others fwb ,, and then add the enemies to lovers vibe because of academic rivalry?? sounds like a lot but their dynamic jus worked. it flowed so well and even tho the story has the least interactions; i had such a good time writing it. i remember writing majority of it at the airport during my trip to toronto. it felt like i was truly writing for fun and didn’t feel much in terms of the pressure to make it as good as my last fic or to update as consistently. overall so precious to me because of the process!

left on read / close to you / all at once: ok let’s get into it LOL

lor jk’s lore is so sweet to me! like wdym you’re a ppl pleaser and the only person you want to actually please hates you 😭 the sunshine boy x grumpy girl duo is elite to me. the first draft i had of them was made soooo long ago. it was supposed to be the first fic i ever posted but it turned out to be the 3rd or smt.

c2u jk is iconic. like in terms of growth as a writer, i think this fic showcases that. from the way i write smut to the actual flow and pacing for this fic—i’ve honestly never been so proud of myself. not to mention how much this fic was supported. i was literally going thru it, thinking i was done writing fanfics cos i was a) out of ideas b) didn’t think there were anymore readers for me (silly, i know) but it was so interesting to see how suddenly all eyes were on c2u jk. i’m beyond thankful for the readers i met along the way and all the laughs. i felt like i was able to explore more in terms of my freakiness but also push my content quality. it’s also one of the very few smau i have that the texts are mainly focused between jk and oc so incorporating that comedic relief was hehe haha

aao jk i feel is like if lor and c2u jk had a baby. i impulsively wrote and posted aao jk cos i felt like i had to cleanse my mind from how nasty c2u turned me. he’s so funny and comforting, i’m so glad everyone got the boyfriend feels! i also had such a fun time writing it and was impressed with myself for keeping up with the updates and flow. it was meant to be a one shot but obviously it turned out to be even more… wouldn’t have it any other way 🌟

my other faves: please love me kth, chaebol jk (it pissed so many ppl off LOL), and bbydaddy jk… paraluman is pure trauma but has to be on this list because IF YOU KNOW YOU KNOW.

[mazzystar24]

i love how that bt stan is having a full breakdown just bc someone found her buddie posts and now she made like 4 post about how much eddie is straight idk maybe she is loosing the presidency of the cult so she needs to sound convincing

a full legit 37 yo woman with a kid fighting child on the internet omfg

Anon my love your ask meant I had to venture into the dangerous unknown wilderness (my block list) to see what you were talking abt and good god I deeply regret it cos straight Eddie is just not a thing that should be uttered and everytime I hear peoples reasons I lose a little life

She’s a straight woman right? Because I guarantee no gay person would be able to so badly disregard the existence of comphet like that

So in honor of this I’m gonna go to my drafts and free a long ass post I made about why Eddie’s sex life with women shouldn’t be “evidence” for straight Eddie and if I’m feeling extra petty I’ll make a post abt why him loving Shannon is a stupid debate because there are many different types of love and many factors that go into their relationship and dynamics and also how RYAN HIMSELF and Tim have spoken about how Eddie’s romanticises his relationship with Shannon when it really ain’t all that also how Eddie doesn’t say Shannon was the love of his life he says something like I guess so or I think she might’ve been

Also one last thing her discrediting headcanons as if her whole ship doesn’t rely on headcanons and videos from Lou where she pays him $200 to give more headcanons and bs

[an-abyss-of-stars]

Fic Updates!!

(Yes, I'm back with these 😂)

Update notes for:

It's Visceral And It's Cruel

Burnt Over And Over Again

He Saw Her At Daybreak

Struck By Fire Drowned By The Sea

*Burnt Over And Over Again* (Modern Au)

So I am currently working on this MAJOR sex scene for the upcoming chapter (chapter 5). BUT I'm actually in the process of reworking it. The initial draft was like 80% finished 🤣💀

I'M SORRY, I was actually so close to being ready to edit and then post. But the further I went with that version, it just wasn't giving what it was meant to give. And to share my thoughts/struggles with this plot point/scene without spoiling the entire scene. If y'all remember, chapter 4 has Rhaena and Aemond bickering like an old married couple in a nightclub in Prague. And as their drama progresses, Aemond finds a way to get Rhaena alone so they can have a private tense conversation. Their sexual tension builds up to a point where they HAVE to do something about it.

Semantics I guess, but there's a ✨mood✨ I'm trying to convey and it's SOO hard to convey it genuinely, idk why 🤣 Like Rhaena is in denial, but she's CLEARLY still very attracted to him. And he's down so BADDD for her, but he's also really frustrated and annoyed with the current state of their relationship. Like the sex isn't going to be all that frantic, because of the way I've slowly built the tension. But at the same time, Aemond's frustration still needs to be present? At least I want it to be? Like I want him to coax her into this, because deep down she definitely wants it, she's just in denial.

Am I making any sense? I don't really know 🤣 I just don't want it to sound like coercion, and that feels like such a fine line with this scene for some reason 😩 like he's definitely not forcing her to do anything, but he is leading this whole thing. The key for me, is making it really feel like she's down for this and welcoming it all physically even if she's still trying to keep him at arm's length emotionally... UGHH it's a fine line fr.

My goal is to update this fic before I move onto any others. So fingers crossed for meeee 😭

(I'm also working out some more background lore for this modern au universe, like what everyone in the family does career wise, I'm working out who has pets and whatnot, expanding the lore of Rhaena's former relationship with Dalton since I initially made it rather vague...SOOOO get ready for this whole story to expand as it goes. Because I kinda want this story to be a bit more than short fic now 😂)

—

*It's Visceral And It's Cruel* (reg medieval time period)

Nowww this is my bread and butterrrr 🤣 I have about 13k of next chapter (chapter 9) written and ready for editing. BUT I still have about 5 scenes to go, or at least those were scenes I originally planned to include in this chapter.

I'm starting to think adding in all of those scenes will make this chapter TOO long if I include them all here 💀 like I added in two extra scenes to make the narrative flow in a more interconnected manner. But in doing that, it's definitely going to make this chapter too long. And the final scene I initially had for this chapter was going to be the Royal Hunt shenanigans. And THAT is a scene/plot point that needs a lot of time/words dedicated to it. Especially since it's going to be written from Aemond's POV, and that boy is going to be going THROUGH it watching Rhaena purposely flirt with literally every other man there EXCEPT for him 🤣🤣

So I think I'm going to move the hunt over to chapter 10 (even though I promised it would be here 😭😭). Because logically...like I must 😂 I can't let this chapter be 40k in length, I'd take DAYSSS to edit it if I did🤣💀

—

*He Saw Her At Daybreak* (horny married Rhaemond Fic)

UMMMM I actually have no clue when I plan to work on the next chapter LMAO 😂 There are a few things I need to map out plot wise. Like slight spoilers:

But here are the scenes I'm planning on including in chapter 10:

• Actually showing Aemond flying over to Driftmark and interacting with Grandma Rhaenys (for the Spice Towk salt that Rhaena craves).

•Aemond and Aegon actually discussing their mother returning to court for the birth of the baby.

•I want to slip in a sex for Rhaemond, since ya know, this IS the horny fic 🤣and this is my last chance to include the lactation kink before the baby gets here, so I must do it 😂 I'm also thinking that scene could definitely start with pregnant Rhaena being a little self conscious about her body before a family event. Like I haven't had much of that insecurity mentioned for her.

•The family event being the Valyrian equivalent Yule/Christmas holiday event, that's going to be like a nice wholesome gift giving scene. Targ family shenanigans.

•ALL culminating with Rhaena's water breaking and the baby finally coming. Like this baby is COMING in this chapter, most definitely 😂😂 we are ending the chapter with Rhaemond happily holding their newborn baby.

So there's a lot to write, and I'm still only on the first scene 💀💀 but hey, now the 10 of you so still tune in, have an idea of what's to come! 😂😂

—

*Struck by Fire, Drowned By The Sea* (Pirate Fic)

LORD, I PROMISE I HAVEN'T FORGOT ABOUT THIS ONEEEE. AGHHH oddly enough, like this writing process feels like the sex scene in BO&OA, I can't seem to land on the vibe™ for the next chapter (chapter 5). And it's not even a sex scene, so Idk why I'm overthinking it all 🤣🤣

It's weird, really. I usually have a really easy time writing from Aemond's POV for my other fics, but since Pirate Captain Aemond is more of a mystery to both Rhaena and the audience. It for some reason feels a lot harder 💀🤣 like it shouldn't be, but it is 🤣🤣 I've rewritten/restarted this chapter at least 6 times trying various ways to tell the same scene, seeing how much I should give away in his inner thoughts or not. And I just haven't landed on a good ratio for him, like we all know this IS Aemond. But there's still so much of his past that hasn't been revealed, and it's all still a mysterious element for captive Rhaena, she's still trying to figure him out... especially since they've never really met until now.

Their relationship is going to be SOMETHING wild, if I can get past this damn chapter 🤣🤣

—

This just feels like me explaining in depth, four various types of writer's block 🤣🤣

Anywaysss, if any of y'all have any suggestions or helpful ideas, for any of these fics, I'm very open to them 💖

[eluxcastar]

The little sisterfication of Sandrone

── ୨୧：sandrone & reader

୨୧﹑synopsis :: sandrone being a moody tsundere child but it's cute

୨୧﹑genre :: fluff

୨୧﹑content :: gn reader, child character

୨୧﹑words :: 828

omg so I meant to do more of these back when I posted childe's but then I just never got around to it Idk why because they were cute and people wanted more of them and I actually have one for scaramouche in my drafts?? so here's sandrone

all little siblingification posts

Sandrone is not the fondest of her family, and I really don't think she ever has been, but there are exceptions, as with everything. She still holds you dear to her even now.

She misses your affections, really, like being sat in front of you while you would fix her hair. She likes how it feels as you brush the knots out of her hair, gentle enough not to hurt too much and overly apologetic to every noise she makes so that you know she's not too hurt by it. She doesn't know how you did it, just that she would recreate it in a heartbeat.

There were also the times you'd carry her around on your back, body tired and walking becoming too difficult. While her parents didn't want to hear of it, you were on your knees in a heartbeat, offering she gets on. Sandrone liked how close she got to be to you, snuggling up to your back, arms loosely around your neck as she looked over your shoulder and watched the streets go by. Your parents never liked your doing that, but you never seemed to care, laughing it off and carrying on, refusing to put her down.

You didn't care if she denied her liking for things or hid her overexcitement. The moment she wanted to go somewhere, you would take her if you could. Festivals, stores, events, the theatre if you had the money. You would save up every single mora you worked for to be able to take her to the theatre for her birthday and let her watch the performance. She was only vaguely aware of how little your parents contributed toward that, thinking they had been a part of it just as you told her it was a gift from all of you.

She'd go on talking about it for weeks, then start again by the time her next birthday came.

She loved the snacks you'd sneak her, buying her things while the two of you were out and feeding them to her over your shoulder, even your own snacks, which she claimed to not want, but would gobble up without a hint of hesitation before admitting they were only "Ok".

Along with these trips she remembers, Sandrone treasures every doll you made her. Even the wonky ones you tried to make by hand when you were a little short on cash. They weren't particularly pretty in a conventional sense and didn't have the same flawless charm as many dolls, nor were they made of porcelain.

Your handmade fabric dolls are imperfectly perfect. The eyes are a bit misaligned, and maybe the mouth is crooked. The arms aren't the same length either, but it hardly matters to her. It was your gift to her, and though she couldn't sit with you and marvel at how beautiful she was like your other gifts of dolls, she could certainly do that herself.

She could sit those dolls among her collection and treat them like priceless works of care and passion because they were. You may not be and probably never will be a famous dollmaker, but they're the most valuable in her heart.

No famous artist would make something that unprofessional, but something about that makes it better. It was made with your love for her.

Besides, she's still sleeping with the first one you made her. Porcelain dolls don't make very good bed buddies. Especially not when trying to sneak into your sibling's bed in the middle of the night to cuddle them where you feel safest. Somehow even if she's so sure she can go back to sleep after she wakes up, she will lay there for what feels like hours (it has been five minutes) and try to sleep only to concede that the other way to sleep is to go get in your bed and cuddle you.

She usually wakes up without you, wrapped up in blankets to keep her warm, and to you shaking her awake after leaving her to sleep in, probably because she stayed up too late. Sandrone's presence is not always unwanted, but you wish she'd stop staying up until ungodly hours of the night to do whatever it is she's doing at that hour, but at least you cover for her. You always tell your parents she's off playing, all the while knowing that you've concealed her in your bed and wait until there's an opportunity to drag her out of bed, clothe and feed her.

It's nice to sleep in sometimes.

Every time you try to leave, there's a child-sized growth attached to your leg, begging you to stay and play with her, usually because she's bored and has no one else willing to entertain her. You wish you could, but know you have to pull her off, kiss her head, and set her back down on the floor.

She wishes you would kiss her forehead in that way even now.

CROSSPOSTED ON AO3

[lazzarella]

Every episode is over too quickly, even though they're mostly getting longer ;__; anyway, back again with my rambling nonsensical notes!!!

- Aww! Baby!Dee!

- Gah, they're so sweet (visiting the little boy)

- "At least it reminded me I hadn't been forgotten" Ouch!! Guessing Dee's parents were quite absent when he was a kid? (Though I guess we don't know yet when they died)

- holy crap, these two gazing at each other when they're taking a photo with the little boy lmao at least Yak was paying attention

- How can Yak still be Dee's patient when everyone knows they're dating?

- "One month, five days, etc." DUDE!!!! Are you— I just can't...

- lol @ Dee not remembering Yak's birthday! But I did! XD (really should have posted that screenshot of his file that I've had saved in my drafts since ep 1... Sigh)

- "Find joy in becoming someone else in your own way"

- I love Kao <333

- Yak sulking and taking Dee's drink was so cute :3

- bloody hell, Yei just pulling Cher onto his lap like that O_O

- "You wear size 56?" I LOVE YOU, GRANDMA!

- Ahhhhh! Yak's face when grandma says he must be the reason Dee's watching boxing now!!! He's so pleased!!!

- lmaoooooo the giant dick plushie!!! (That bloody thing haunts me on aliexpress btw!!!! I can't search for anything without it popping up, as it were)

- look, I know I always gush over how soft Yak is but seeing him cuddling Ice Bear was almost too much for me

- "I've gotten used to having you in my arms" WHO SAYS THAT, YAK?? WHO???? Not fake boyfriends that's who!

- And now he's pouting because he wants to cuddle!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhh

- And then he brings up Taem. Well done! lol

- (Okay, it's clear—or, well, likely—he's just clinging to his crush on Taem any time his feelings for Wandee rear their pretty head(s), but... Jeez, dude!)

- And Dee's face? His response??? He's not talking about Taem

- "Let's find something fun to do!" I love you, Grandma!

- Yak taking a video of her ;__;

- Okay, her all black outfit is super cool! And she's wearing creepers!! I think...

- Yak referring to himself as Dee's boyfriend at the cemetery... *pinches bridge of nose* I can't handle much more of this. And Dee's deflection! Ahhh. The way they're both dealing with their developing feelings is so interesting and delicious to watch

- oh that outfit does not suit Yak…

- I wonder if Yei is doing underground fights for $$$ to help the gym??? And that’s why he didn’t get physical with Cher. Idk

- Yak offering to help Dee again <33333

- There really is purple and yellow everywhere! (The cardboard Taem was carrying)

- I need a comparison between Taem's reaction when Yak grabbed her hand (not really comfortable) vs when he grabs Dee's hand!!!

- And Yak could be spending more time with Taem but he already had plans with Dee! Gosh, he's just... Oh, that boy!

- Ahhh! They're baking! They're having a flour fight! They're flirting over food again!!

- (Is this the first time we've seen Dee in the elephant pants too?)

- Holy shit, the audacity of Ter taking Kwan to the same restaurant and are they sitting at the same table???????

- so many short shorts and cut off tees and I'm not complaining

- awww! The tiny drink buddy dude has a name!

- The TENSION when they're listening to Fluke's song though??? JFC. You need a ginsu to cut through that

- YOU HAVE SWEET EYES??!!! No comment. I just can't lol

- smooch blocked by the oven timer! lol they really were going to kiss that time, though

- Ahhhhh, Dee looks so happy!!!!

- Yak taking and posting a photo of Gooddy on his glass was adorable :3

- (ngl, with them standing so close to the edge of the balcony, I was envisioning Gooddy going over the side lol)

- love them plugging the new line stickers in the toothbrush bit

- YoryakWandee vs WandeeYoryak is giving me duck season vs rabbit season lol

- Ahhhh! Next week's preview!!! How am I meant to wait???

[scyllas-revenge]

BLCI extra scenes or BLCI Alternate timeline scenes ??

Oooh okay so the extra scenes are just a collection of bonus scenes I'm planning to post once Burn Like Cold Iron is complete, probably as a separate part 2 fic. I'd meant it to be a collection of deleted scenes, moments that I'd had to cut from the final story, etc. but honestly 90% of them wound up being sex scenes lol. Most of them are also from Boromir's perspective, idk why but I had a lot of fun getting into his angsty, horny brain

I'm trying to find some excerpts to share that aren't plot spoilers or straight-up smut XD here's a G-rated snippet of one scene:

“Can I sleep with you tonight?” she had whispered, standing in his door in her nightgown, and Boromir had frozen, his ears filling with a white roar like the sea. “I know—I know it’s not proper, and it’s not fair to ask you, I know it’s not, but I haven’t slept in days…” Beatrice had swallowed, her exhausted eyes trained on her slippers, her long fingers twisting in her sleeves.

And a G-rated snippet of another scene:

Beatrice raised the bowl of Ent-draught to her lips and drank eagerly. “Are you sure you don’t want any?” she asked, offering him the bowl. “It’s so refreshing.” Boromir smiled and shook his head distantly—he’d only half-heard what she’d said, consumed by the way she’d drawn her thumb over her bottom lip as she wiped a trickle of moisture away, the gleam of a stray bead of water still trailing lazily down her chin and the curve of her neck. “Such magic is best left to you, sorceress.”

As far as the Alternate Timeline bit goes, that's also from Boromir's perspective and okay yes it's also smut I am a predictable piece of trash anyway it's sort of a "what if they had chemistry right when they met in Rivendell and how would that go?" and for that one I'll just copy-paste the notes I wrote in the draft:

They’re both homesick and touch-starved and find comfort in each other and gahhh

He’s also embodying that Boromir Woman article where he falls in love right after having sex and is also on the verge of tears almost constantly because he’s got like 50 lifetimes of stress and no one’s ever been gentle with him in his life yeah that’s the shit

Why didn’t I just write the fic like this in the first place ahhhhhh

I think that sums it up pretty well XD Anyway thanks so much for the ask!!

[sugar-omi]

LET ME QUOTE THIS SHIT FOR YOU DIRECT. I SEND MY LIL PICTURE AND IT'S ALL CUTE 'N SHIT RIGHT? AND I'M WATCHING HIM TYPE...THEN STOP...THEN TYPE...THEN STOP...THEN FINALLY HE SENDS LIKE FIFTEEN TEXTS ALL AT ONCE?

'wow.'

'you. wwow'

'you're very. mm'

'you have really nice thighs'

'EYES'

'I MEANT EYES'

'SORRY TEXT TO SPEECH WAS BEING WEIRD'

'but i like the um. the way it looks on you'

to which i responded: 'the way what looks on me? lol'

AND THE RESPONSE I GET?

'the heels. a nd the ankle bracelet ofcourse'

'you have.'

'i don't want to sound weird but your legs are really nice'

AND I'M SITTING HERE FLABBERGASTED. AND HE'S TRYING TO RECOVER WITH 'NOT IN LIKE A WEIRD WAY I JUST NOTICED YOU HAVE SOME MUSCLE DEFINITION AND IT'S GOOD YOU'RE GETTING YOUR GAINS UP' (i don't have any muscle definition. it's all bounce. he's not fooling ANYONE.)

anyways...

BABY IS INSANE HELLO??? NO BC THE WAY I'D FOLD OMFG 😭 pet names make me WEAK... NO IT'S THE WAY HE CALLED ME BUN IN OUR FIRST CERAMICS CLASS TOGETHER. LIKE. MAYBE IT WAS THE BUNNY HAIRCLIPS I HAD ON THAT DAY?? BUT???? OH MY GOD. OHHH MY G. DOES THIS MEAN HE WANTS ME

I LITERALLY DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO IDK WHY WE'RE MOVING THIS FAST??? HELLO???? I THINK THE MUTUAL CRUSH IS RLY RLY OBVIOUS BC I WAS THIRSTING FROM THE START BUT LIKE . IK IT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA TO RUSH INTO THINGS SO IMA TAKE MY SWEET TIME TEASING HIM I THINK 😋😋😋

SHIT IM SO SORRY I HAD THIS IN MY DRAFTS BC I DIDNT WANNA FORGET WHAT I WANTED TO SAY BUT THEN I FORGOT TO POST MY RESPONSE.... ANYWAY

AHHH HIM STUMBLING OVER TEXT IS SO CUTE ITS SO 🤭🤭🤭 LMAOO ALL BOUNCE IS SO REAL

he's so real for his response honestly.... id have to blow up your picture n bow to it everyday if I was him actually. thank you God for the most bomb pussy to grace my presence 🙇

ALSO BUN IS SO CUTEEE!!! imma have to see these hair clips, they must have power in them as well. n yes, omg, enjoy teasing him 🤭 THE TEASING IS THE FUN PART!!! even when you're together it keeps things interesting, it can be funny too

BUT AYE!!! (I'm assuming) HE SAW U FIRST SO YOU HAVE THE UPPER HAND!!! RUIN HIM!!! BREAK. HIS. BACK!!!!!

[gleasonlovesjasontodd]

okay so on one of my head cannon posts i talked about this cute thought that i had of you getting him a sweater for Christmas and sewing your initial on the sleeve and sewing a little heart on it so he can always wear your heart on his sleeve (iykyk) and i truly think he would appreciate it so much and he immediately wears it when y’all go over to the manor later that day for Christmas dinner and everyone sees how happy he is with you

this is so bad i meant to post on christmas but all my drafts got deleted idk why including a new head cannon post so 😐🥲🙃 also i’m sorry that my writing is bad i have been so insecure about it lately i also think i have writers block also i feel like i don’t deserve to use the term writers block

anyway

-gleason 🎀🪩🎀

[dandylovesturtles]

For the ask game! :)

LMNSTU

L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Usually as I'm writing it (assuming I don't just do it all in one sitting), I'll come back and give it a read over and edit before I start back to work, and then I read over it once more before I post it. that's usually it though. I'm lazy when it comes to editing lol. pretty much all my fics are first drafts.

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

well, I do still want to write the fic about Splinter's son (that he didn't know he had) stumbling into their lives post-movie. I have a post about it on here somewhere.

the fic I MEANT to write after I was done with IMBI (before a different AU plagued my brain, which I've been actively working on) is a fic whose working title is "Mikey and Donnie's Step-by-Step Guide for Saving Your Doomed Family," which is the obligatory peepaw fic. It follows Mikey and Donnie, post-movie, building a cross-dimensional time machine to try and save the bad future Hamatos and bring them to the saved present. It's told from Mikey and Donnie's POVs and has a heavy focus on their relationship, both pre- and post-Krang invasion.

I do still really want to write it, it's just that this other thing completely consumed my creative energy. oops.

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

uhhh idk. I have lots of ideas all the time that I'll probably never write just because, you know, time and labor lol, but not really any I can think of to put here.

this is the nice thing about fandom kinkmemes (or whatever you would call a SFW kinkmeme), if you have an idea you don't want to write yourself you can just go drop it in a comment and let someone else write it.

I have already answered S

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

uhhhh I think my biggest thing that is Popular In Fandom but I Don't Like is AUs that bring fantastical canons into our reality and like, have the characters going to college or working office jobs or whatever. so "modern AUs," except it bums me out that that's the name we settled on because actual modern times in the setting of a fantasy canon could be really fun! Like, I don't want the "modern AU" Dragon Age to have Hawke working at a coffee shop and taking writing classes at the local uni, I want it to have them fighting darkspawn on top of a skyscraper. or like, you can have the Gaang going to college, but why can't they bend anymore! just let them have it!

FFXV is one of my favorite canons purely because it actually shows some of the thought behind like, what if a world had normal modern technology (they're driving around in modern cars and using smartphones) but also monsters and gods and magic. but so many fantasy settings in fiction are either medieval or do the bullshit where you have the "magic world" hidden from the "normal world". no! boring! I want to know how legislative proceedings are affected when congressmen can challenge each other to wizard duels. expand your mind!

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

this is list is not in any particular order:

taizi is an amazingly talented writer, there are so many lines in their fics that make me go "wow", and they have such a grasp on character and emotion. they also have some great One Piece fics!

MagicalSpaceDragon is another absolutely incredible writer. their "theseus, and" series is particularly good, but I actually have them in my bookmarks for one of my favorite ROTTMNT fics of all time, "i guess we've really been out of touch (but can it really be so serious)"

and reccing my friend Kiaxet, who is also an amazing writer who mixes hilarity, angst, and heartwarming moments with a deft hand. I'm so excited for the rest of her "Siblingquest 20XX" fic, but all her fics are amazing!

and while they aren't a TMNT writer, I wanna shout out Asidian, who has written several of my favorite FFXV fics (including and especially "Running Behind", which is one of the best MT!Prompto fics, right up there with "poor wayfaring stranger"), and also has some amazing Rise of the Guardians fics (I especially love "Bits and Pieces", which has my favorite trope of "hungry character gets fed", but "Every Boy And Girl" also makes me cry everytime).

thanks for the ask!

[hopefull-mindset]

Hello this is my main for @/dazai-on-my-mind I was going through your abuse post (have yet to finish it so forgive me if you've discussed this already) what are your theories for what lies under Dazai's bandages? The main fan theories that I've seen so far is that they're either covering self inflicted injuries or Mori experimented on Dazai at times during his Port Mafia days but again coming from your abuse post this theory seems highly unlikely. So I was wondering if you had any thoughts about that.

Hello! Sorry this took a bit. I saw your other ask, so I'll try to get to that. It's absolutely fine you haven't finished it. I'm personally surprised at how long it is myself. I actually haven't talked about what is under Dazai’s bandages, so sure! I also have some brief thoughts on the bandages itself.

(Edit: that was not brief, it turns out I had a lot of thoughts)

It's an average topic with this fandom, so I don't know how much I can add really!

We do know he has scars from what Oda said in Dark Era:

And we also get this tidbit from Harukawa talking about designing Dazai:

The special thing about this series was that apart from the settings from Asagiri, the characters probably should have certain aspects of the authors they were based on, but I tried to draw them based on the character settings first when doing up the initial drafts. […] For Dazai, I wrapped him up in bandages because of his suicide mania, and took note with other items.

—Harukawa35, Behind The Scenes of The Character Design!

Of course, the intent behind what the bandages are and what is behind them can change over time when they get to know their own characters better! They look like they're implying two different things, but I'd argue it's the exact same thing, even if they come from different places.

Out of all the assumptions, what's under there is probably scars he gained while throwing his life away in the face of danger, even when he doesn't need to. It's no different than the average suicide attempt by him. I wonder if he has a scar from the Old Boss’s scythe, that'd be sick. This is what sounds most likely to me, but I’ll entertain other ideas for the sake of it being too short of a note to end on.

You can obviously tell I don’t dig the idea of Mori committing medical malpractice. Not only is that an insane idea to come by, how does he even benefit from that thought process? The only type of stuff happening is Mori forcing him to take his vaccinations and taking drugs Dazai got from his medicine cabinet out of his young hands. I also think people think this way because of what he said about Mori telling him the shots won't hurt in The Day I Picked Up Dazai Side A.

A doctor is telling a child his shots won't hurt… ??? Sounds pretty normal.

I know people won't like it when I say this, but that was typical teenage Dazai childishness. He does genuinely not like pain of course, so it could be that he's overexaggerating because that's what it felt like to him haha. That scene is meant to be comedic, so this sentiment shouldn't be that serious in context. It's not like this is idk Black Butler.

I remember in Side B that Dazai says pain is what reminds you that you're alive. Maybe that's why he doesn't like it, even if he was a torture specialist. To understand death, you have to understand what it is to be alive because life is both of those things. Dazai prefers the state of being dead rather than the process, but also thinks the attempt is easier than actually committing. Dear god, your commitment issues don't need to go this far.

As for self-harm, it's pretty 50/50 with enough arguments on both sides to make a case. Dazai doesn’t like pain, but people don't usually do it because they like the feeling of the pain itself. They could do it to punish themselves, the feeling of it afterward, etc. I think Dazai putting himself in those situations like I mentioned earlier counts enough as self-harm (you can even count his implicit drinking habits too if you'd like), but this specifically on what I know you mean just depends on whether you think Dazai would do so.

I can't imagine it from Dazai, but if people think so, there's nothing stopping them from it. There's nothing implying he wouldn't, suicidal people don't always resort to this. I’m personally just tired of people using it for their whump narratives, in all fandoms actually.

I don’t care much for it if that’s what they’d like to do because I understand, but it’s not something I like being depicted in weirdly graphic detail for no reason other than the character to suffer. Besides that, there no harm in it. I don’t want to get all “you shouldn’t write this stuff because I said so”, that’s stupid.

(-150 points if it’s for white knighting ship content)

Now I hope you don’t mind me rambling off a bit! It’s been on my mind since last week to talk about the bandages.

Symbolically, the bandages can mean a couple things. All very similar things haha. It’s like what Chuuya’s gloves are to him and how personal it is to take them off outside of Corruption, or how he said he used to put his hands in his pockets because he wanted to protect his humanity while fighting.

Core things they can mean are:

A thin barrier to separate and hide himself from others (including from himself)

To minimize skin contact from his ability aka himself (not as literal as it sounds)

Abilities in Bungou Stray Dogs are apart of the user. No matter if you move your ability on to your child (Kyouka and her Mother), have it be mutilated into something unrecognizable (Verlaine, Chuuya), or to naturally be imbedded into you, you cannot separate it from your humanity. It’s still you, as Atsushi had to eventually accept this fact.

You can say a lot about the nature of abilities and 55 Minutes made some worrying discussion points about Abilities that I wish were touched on more by others, but let’s go with first thought process because it’s the one Asagiri let’s us off easy with.

No Longer Human, as Asagiri told us, is based off of the feeling he got when reading Dazai Osamu’s writing. Functionally, his ability is a bit horrifying to me as something born from himself. Maybe I just overreact, but when you translate what his ability mean functionally against every ability user we know, you can come up with interesting conclusions.

It’s not like how Atsushi can cut through abilities as a Tiger as I’m sure that was meant to imply something about his psychological breakthrough and combating other’s soul born abilities with his own. Dazai just straight up takes away other’s abilities. As long as he’s touching you, you have become a victim to his soul’s vacuum of searching for humanity or lack there of.

That’s not to say others who don’t have abilities aren’t human, I think the difference is that ability users are forced to put a part of their humanity up for show and scrutiny, which makes them appear inhuman to the average human being. Dazai is as paradoxical as his own ability. He’s functionally the average human being, but he also lacks something… human when you put him up against another ability user.

Sorta this middle ground in what to think and how he also tends to be. When I read No Longer Human, it popped out to me too often that Yozo Oba was incredibly human while putting himself in this position of inhumanity.

When Dazai’s ability is in effect, he takes away a piece of your humanity, making your less than who you were before. So when Dazai covers skin with his bandages, he’s covering up the metaphorical cavity that is his ability and inhumanity. When the bandages starts going everything when he’s using his ability, he’s swallowing that piece whole and embracing you falling to his level.

Am I overanalyzing a stylistic choice that usually only appears in official art? Yes, but it’s fun.

You can tell I skipped the first one, but that’s because it has to do with an example that’s been the reason I keep thinking about this and it sounded more fun to talk about. In the Onsen CD Drama, there’s two scenes I want to put emphasis one.

The first one being when Dazai says that they’re all getting closer because of them being in the hot spring, but Kunikida calls out the fact he’s still wearing his bandages. I could’ve passed it off as being not that significant because it’s a joke scene if it weren’t for the next one.

Atsushi wanted to wash Dazai’s back since Kunikida had been occupied and he wanted to help them like they did for him, but Dazai had already walked away. Later when they’re still awake while the others had slept, Atsushi tries again and actually gets the opportunity to do it. Only problem, Dazai still has his bandages on. Dazai just tells him it’s okay and to scrub anyway.

This made me feel… how do I say this… speechless? Not because Dazai was entirely insistent on them being apart of his body like the troll he is, but because of the simultaneous intimacy of the act and abruption of it with the bandages. You can pass it off as a running joke, but we both know Dazai absolutely heard Atsushi thank him and avoided that confrontation by playing it off as being sleepy.

I’ve said this a couple times to people I’ve talked to before, but Dazai is the type of guy who you would talk to every day, invite you everywhere, and always go out with a lot of people, but if you were to be asked what you personally know about him, you’d be able to say nothing but surface level stuff everyone knows.

With anyone and everyone, there’s always this level of personal separation between them and Dazai, and they know it. Even if you are closer to him like Oda and Chuuya are and Dazai had willing shared stuff usually wouldn’t (mind you, it took Mimic for Dazai to share more about himself to Oda and Ango), he doesn’t let himself be that vulnerable or let himself go.

I’m arguing that the bandage are a more literal barrier between him and the world. Either to protect himself or to protect others from what they’ll realize about him. He hides himself because of what he is…or something like that at least, I don’t know what goes though his head. Im still trying to figure out his perception on things thoroughly and if he really cares about it.

The eye bandage has been talked to death by now. Yes yes, Dazai left his eye covered for depth perception in the dark and Oda uncovering it for him to see the light as well. We all know it. Still, I think it’s quite meaningful that when he’s finally having an heart-to-heart with Odasaku, he’s the one to open up that bandage. It doesn’t fix everything, but he’s been opened up to that possibility.

For Beast, Dazai having a bandage on the other eye can be seen as a misguided attempt of seeing everything with Oda in mind by seeing it all in the eye he uncovered, but still needing to cover the other to guide himself in the dark. He’s also a mirror image of the original Dazai if you’d like to see it like that.

In Side B, Dazai covers his whole face up. Ironically, while I called the bandages on his body a cover up for his inhumanity, the face bandages cover up his emotions, suppressant of himself. Dazai is not typically that emotional, but Side B Dazai is going through a lot when it comes to Odasaku… so while he’s covering his face to hide it from Oda, he is also hiding the overwhelming feelings he has.

In the ending of Side B where he takes off the dirty bandages, he’s so wracked with emotion he almost fails himself in his plans, and presumably forces himself to cover up his one eye again. When he falls to his death in the ending of Beast, bandages fall when he’s able to let himself go.

In the manga, Hoshikawa was evil and drew the bandages falling into Oda’s hands. Let’s say… they’re a symbol of his protect of Oda and remembrance of the scene where Oda pulls them off. You can even say they where still taken off with Oda’s influence!

OKAY ENOUGH, I’m talking you ears off. It seems I like the sound of my own voice and wanted to share as much as I could.

[hallahart]

more veilguard thoughts, through the end of act 1

repressing my feelings with dragon age since 2009!!!

the whole Weisshaupt sequence was amazing and has been the strongest storytelling so far.

Overall starting to vibe with the way companion convos are structured, it’s not as info-dumpy and the conversations feel more natural. Still feeling like most of the recruitment convos were too abridged though, but I guess act 1 was already super long

still can’t tell if Varric’s super underutilized and sidelined or if he’s going to be a sixth sense twist lol. Has to be the latter. He hasn’t had a single interaction with anyone else.

shipping my teammates with each other more than rook, but I think I’ll go with Davrin! He suits my character and I wanna be a griffon stepmom. And we were a Weisshaupt power couple

Davrin and Emmrich’s parenting style disputes crack me up. How to tell your dev team is in their 40s

everything in the “misc” codexes is making me SCREAM. Not to mention the regret murals??? What????? Mythal you fucker! Basically all our theories were right. I think the only thing I hadn’t guessed was that the dagger was used to tranquilize titans. Wild.

anyone else into spirit solas. Just me. Ok

solas remains irrepressibly perfect a+++

Looking Glass was right about everything

Feel like everyone glossed over “the lifeforces of the evanuris power the veil” a little too quickly lol. But I’m sure solas is helping from the goodness of his heart :)

i will be mad if the game ends with the veil intact

NEXT IM GOING TO KAL SHAROK AHHHH

my theory is that the caretaker is felassan’s spirit

This game is going to cause so much fandom drama I can just tell beneath all the filtered posts on my dash

OH AND the inquisitor!!! I should have spent longer on her face!! But I’m fairly sure that was the first Solavellan reference so far and ahhhhhh. I’m scared.

i think my big issue with act 1 until Weisshaupt is how disconnected we felt from the threat of the gods. I get that they meant to accomplish that with the minrathous/treviso choice, but we didn’t actually see them attack d’metas crossing or the cities we didn’t choose to save, and sure the aftermath is scary, but I just felt a strange disconnect and lack of urgency. I’m just sort of there. They should do a LOT more than blight one village to kick rook into action, and sooner—like right after they were freed, in front of us. They should have killed Varric, or fully blighted Arlathan forest, or SOMETHING. And like it would have been easy to have rook go to Treviso and see the tail end of Elgarnan blighting it. Literally have not seen him on screen once yet. It felt like we were doing nothing to find them or learn about them except through solas. I picked Minrathous and afterward the city just kind of shrugs?? Nobody is talking about it really? There was a blighted dragon and tentacle lady on your doorstep! Same with the rest of the factions. And where the heck was your army btw. Idk. And meanwhile we’re just chilling going on friend dates. And then the inquisitor is like “oh yeah all of southern Thedas has fallen to the blight” and it’s like WHAT???? Why is that the first time we hear that?? And the first warden is sipping wine in Minrathous? The whole thing needed a few more drafts imo, and somehow felt too long and too rushed at the same time.