#had hurt the hyperempathetic person

[lorata]

any particular ideas about the victors and empathy? like are there any that are low/no empathy, or any that are hyperempathetic? it would be interesting to see how empathy or lack thereof would impact their experiences/images both before, during, and after their games (even if panem probably doesn't have a very good understanding of what that entails from a psychology perspective lol)

a fun thing is that both Selene and Petra are low/no empathy, which makes them a fascinating pair. Petra knows she's missing something early and so outsources her sense of right & wrong to The Rules while Selene just does not care and this is a source of conflict for the two of them quite often.

Selene bases her morality around You Are Annoying Me, Personally whereas Petra's is You Have Broken The Rules This Is Bad And Unfair And Wrong which is why they drive each other up the wall

at their first kill tests Selene doesn't feel guilty. she vaguely thinks she should? but she doesn't, and they're here to kill, so, oh well. Petra asks her victim what she did, learns she did something bad, and is like, all right then, I'm good. they have a chat after Selene's about how neither felt bad and it's the one time they're both weirdly sympatico

both Selene and Petra have images that are slightly ... off/wild/feral, in no small part due to this. Selene they have to constantly remind her to pull it back or she'll go full villain (ha ha OH WELL given that she kills her district partner immediately but Misha knows). Petra's original was a bit more on the like ..... off-putting aloof killer vibe, similar to Clove, but with the maces she never got to pull that out so she had to go for the nymphomaniac over the top angle instead.

post-Games it's easy to keep things from Petra re: the state of the world until things explode because she just doesn't think about it. she has enough to deal with re: her own healing and constantly getting re-traumatized and all that nonsense that she doesn't have the mental energy to put towards things like oh what is it like for the districts or the other victors or is the only person who's nice to me actually doing this as part of a giant machiavellian scheme. it all falls apart in canon divergence once she has time to really sit and wrestle with those questions? but boy it takes some time and work and the others (particularly the younger ones) have some choice words for her in the meantime

Callista is also very low empathy, this (ahem) very clearly factored into her image & strategy. She does not care about the other districts and she says what she wants and if you get offended that's on you. Now mind you, while Calli has low empathy and her circle is small, IF you are inside that circle her compassion level is extremely high. Calli knows that Nero is hurting and she wants to do many, many murders on his behalf. She is very angry that she cannot. Ditto with her tributes, most of whom are similarly villainized by the narrative which is part of the reason she keeps choosing them anyway. In the AUs where she does manage to land either Creed or Alec she doesn't get what they're feeling half the time but she will help them regardless and god help anyone who tries to stand between them.

on the flip side we have Devon and Alec, who are both on the hyper-empathy end of things. Devon is able to control and use his fairly well, both in the Games and beyond; Alec has much more trauma and tends to be paralyzed by it for a lot longer before finally managing to work through things as an adult. part of Alec's problem is being unable to make his own decisions or justify his emotions

ironically Claudius is also very high on empathy but has no idea for a long time given that his specific cocktail of trauma and rage responses resulted in him lashing out and hurting people, so his whole "i'm a monster" thing dug in pretty deep and he withdraws. post-games though he can't help it and it lands him in trouble fairly quickly since he can't stop THINKING about other people and it sends him straight to treason town before he's even finished his victory tour, lol. post-canon divergence he winds up being like ... a teen counsellor for ex-centre kids which is the last thing he thought he'd be doing, but there you go. funny enough Eibhlin is the first person to tell him that he's high empathy and he doesn't believe her. but one of the reasons he's so good at 'mentoring' Selene is his ability to get inside her head before she even knows her own feelings really

in general while they don't have official vocab for it the Centre definitely IDs kids who have high empathy and/or compassion and has ways to decentralize that, whether it's giving them a cause or comfort in the rules or helping to carefully dissociate what they do from who they are. for the kids on the other end it's more a question of managing that line so they don't go too far.

[crimeronan]

re: your empathy posts. As someone who probably has higher than normal empathy (I used to ask people around me how they deal with sympathetic distress in common situations that occur in a job and only got blank stares) you're so valid!! The lionizing of this random subconscious process called empathy is so useless! It says nothing about the person and their values! As your other commenters suggested, people disparaging you may just be trying to boost their own shaky feelings about how their own emotional stability is deeply tied to their people-pleasing tendencies.

If anything, I think learning to function "normally" in society with "empathy" makes you more messed up. I understand this person's distress. I acknowledge it, and know how my actions will make it worse. I make them feel worse anyway, because that's the organizationally approved behavior, causing more pain for both them and myself. All the while I must behave as if I am cheerful and unbothered. Internalizing that hurting others and yourself to achieve your goals is Fine is necessary in order to stay sane. This is counter to everything people say they believe, so lying also has to become a virtue.

Buying kindness from the store seems like a really kind thing to do tbh. I am passing you on the street as I am schlupping over to pick up some callousness.

this last sentence made me giggle a lot. but YEAH!! a lot of this is spot-on to stuff i've been thinking about lately. like, "normal" empathy levels seem to be socially defined as "you care about people and want to help them, but you don't care so much that you'll harm yourself in pursuit of that" and it's all just..... i dunno. so much pathologizing of how we think and feel and whether we're Human (TM) about stuff. it's all so Weird

like..... i keep thinking that my lack of empathy gives me certain advantages in social situations. but in a similar vein to the ppl worried about sounding like tiktok empaths for being hyperempathetic, i worry that this makes me sound like an alpha male influencer writing youtube essays about why emotions make you weak, or whatever.

it's not that emotions make people weak or that having less empathy makes me like, a Cold Logical Calculating Math-Loving Strategist. i'm a writer who focuses solely on character-driven stuff, u probably wouldn't expect that from a stereotypically sociopathic person. part of why i LIKE writing character-driven stuff so much is BECAUSE i've had to actively teach myself how other people think, how they feel, how they struggle, etc

a lack of empathy means i can choose not to get invested in other people's feelings or lives, i don't feel guilty for emotionally disconnecting, i'm not afraid of being disliked. but i still know how to act like a decent human being. there's that one post about how stupid it is not to realize being nice gets people to be nice back, and fuckin. YEAH!! it's astonishing to me to read about cases of """clinical sociopaths""" (who are just people who didn't get the 'pretend you give a shit, moron' memo) manipulating and gaslighting people and whatnot. everyone in the comments will always be like "ooo so scary... they didn't feel bad at ALL... so terrifying that people who don't feel guilt exist..." and i'm like.

IS GUILT THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS YOU FROM COMMITTING ATROCITIES???

BLOWS MY MIND. IT'S LIKE..... THE LEFTIST EQUIVALENT OF SAYING EVERYONE WOULD BE MURDERERS IF THEY WERENT SCARED OF GOD. LIKE. YOU ONLY AVOID DOING BAD STUFF BC IT MAKES YOU FEEL BAD??????

good LORD. at least having no empathy means i've had to grow my principles organically. oh my GOD.

anyway what brought these thoughts up today was that i was thinking about gansey and luz noceda, since theyre extremely similar characters & on my All Time Faves list. and i've said this before but the things i love about them (the kindness, self-sacrificing shit, anxiety, etc) are things i don't see in myself. but Wish I Did. like i wish i was kinder on the inside than i am.

but i know that i admire ppl with luz and gansey traits both in fiction and in real life. so i simply just..... emulate the luz and gansey actions. not always successfully, esp because i have a temper and very little patience, but like. i try to be kind where i can bc i wish i was someone who tries to be kind when they can. so i'm just going to be. u know??

[starry-skies-116]

I’ve made a ROTTMNT OC you guys now listen the hecking heck up-:

Name: Setarah Khamoun

Pronouns: She/they/he, and all neopronouns

Gender: Intersex AFAB, Transneutral, Genderqueer, Xenogender and Nonbinary

Sexuality: Pan-oriented asexual greyromantic

Species: Human-turned-mutant

Nationality: Iraqi-Indian American

Mutant type: Jackal

Age: 13

Neurodivergencies: Early onset BPD, Autism, ADHD, Dyscalculia (PTSD from being turned into what she is)

Appearance: 

In jackal form, she has smooth black fur with white spots and golden-blue heterochromic eyes, black sclera and slit pupils that appear to glow a bright magenta. There��s a fluffy tail that’s kinda long, too, as well as a full set of canines. She’s also bipedal, but can run on all fours (this increases her speed greatly).

In human form, she has long, voluminous black hair with a single brown streak, eyes so dark they appear black, copper golden brown skin (think of raw dark honey), maroon tinted lips, rosy cheeks, two dimples, and a long and broad, pointed nose. Setarah also has very thick eyebrows, long sideburns and visible canines in her full smile with exposed teeth.

Personality: A powerful, intelligent vigilante who’s alert, paranoid and wary at all times, Setarah is curt, stoic, brash, blunt, arrogant, and seemingly generally emotionless, however, she does possess a dry sense of humor. 

She has the tendency to make terrible jokes and puns to unsuccessfully try and lighten the mood, hinting at her once being significantly more energetic and happier than she is now. He is serious and dignified in work-related situations and matters, and holds justice and integrity as the highest value above all else, religiously holding the belief that every soul will be weighed at the end of their ‘journey’.

She harbors a deep grudge against Baron Draxum and The Foot Clan, and later, the Shredder and the Krang, viewing them as threats to Earth, which she calls ‘humanity’s birthright and home that they have no right to.’ Setarah is deeply dedicated to her ideals of justice and viewing the law as eternal, and punishing any transgressions and sinners that may violate said law. They are cruel, harsh and callous to those who hurt others or break the law, and holds no sympathy towards whatever their reasons may be.

Setarah is fairly relaxed outside of her ‘work’ on the level of the Turtles, being an avid fan of cooking, Jupiter Jim, Lou Jitsu, art, hacking, reading, and card games as well as video games, and much more. She also does love tinkering with technology and was a skilled engineer and fighter-in-training back when she was human. Setarah also expresses grief over not being able to see her family again, and the life she had been forced to abandon the moment she was reborn as a mutant. 

Setarah is hyperempathetic of those who suffer under those who abuse their power and status, which is likely why they’re so fervent about punishing and murdering criminals. He also takes frequent walks atop the roofs of New York City to calm his mind as well as patrol.

Favorite foods: Street food, most notably curries, tahchin, kebabs and shawarma- any Indian or Middle Eastern cuisine.

Least favorite foods: Pudding, Licorice, Dango, Mochi, Caramels, or any food that makes them feel like their teeth are being glued together. Pizza included… okay, fine. Pizza’s the only exception, but only specific types!

[angelellipsis-devilofdots]

PLEASE check them out. i'd like to back OP up by listing their songs that have had the most impact on me and why, they're so incredible and i recommend checking out all of their music!

drinking song for the socially anxious - during a time when i had extreme social anxiety and did not feel supported by those around me, i discovered this song. and it was so fucking validating and wonderful. i felt so much more represented and so much less alone.

farewell wanderlust - i'm pretty sure this song actually helped me so much in learning to embrace who i am. as someone who has been told they are weird all my life, i think this song just, once again, represented me so well.

the old witch sleep and the good man grace - i don't mean to be dramatic, but this song genuinely changed my life. it made me understand that my anxiety and mental health issues are a part of me, but do not have to have control over me. it subconsciously taught me that i may not have power to erase my trauma, but i do have the power to heal.

blossoms - it resonates so much with me as a hyperempathetic person. i think of this song every time someone else's emotions or experiences are wearing me down. the line "you do not get to hurt me just because i asked you once if you are alright" is so comforting and changed my mentality.

i could ramble about more, but this would be a long ass post. PLEASE check out the amazing devil, those who haven't already! they're my favorite band ever, and these people care so much about their fans. i can't recommend them enough!!

Oh we, We're gonna get on Listen, I'm embarrassed with how long it's been since I gushed about my babies okay. So, if you don't know. My first loves are The Amazing Devil. They are my heart and soul and they speak to both. These two silly folks have saved my life on many many many occasions. If you love music that makes you think, makes you FEEL, helps you through the toughest shit you'll ever go through whilst simultaneously leaving you lying there bare and heavy and read for absolute filth ... then The Amazing Devil is the band for you. Madeleine and Joey are the light this world needs. They are beautiful inside and out. They adore their fans. (Dear Hearts where you at??) They are the most humble people I have ever had the pleasure to know. They'll hold your hand through your lows and help you celebrate your highs. They're proud of each and every one of us and all they ever ask of us is to be good to others. Please, if you love LOVE please go check out their Bandcamp. Consider buying an album, even a few songs. If you can't do that you can stream their music either on Bandcamp or on Spotify. But please give them a listen. They've recently recorded / are recording their newest album. They have 3 out currently. Ruin The Horror and the Wild Love Run

[sylviareviar]

✖ ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖

t-thank you... so much... i love talking with you about teddie and sylvia either being disasters or causing chaos together through sheer joy and positivity and it always makes me so happy thinking about them together.

To be honest, Sylvia's been in the works since I was like twelve. I had a lot of prototypes before then, but only settled on a design for Sylvia in middle school, and ever since then I was building her up as a character trying to flesh her out. She might be a self-insert, but she's also a deep analysis of myself as a person, how I react in certain situations, an exploration of my strengths and weaknesses (and traumas), and at the same time, a way to live vicariously in my favorite shows, series, books, anime, etc. all in one. Sometimes I give her extra powers, sometimes I indulge and make her over-powered, and I always worry if maybe I did a bit too much.

I guess up until coming onto Tumblr, the only people I could ever talk to about her were my siblings, and they quickly got sick of me constantly gushing about her, so I stopped and just assumed anything involving her was garbage, but I was too deep in and couldn't stop. I'm playing her in a DnD campaign right now, though, and my younger sibling said that she actually feels a lot fresher than she used to before, because she actually has flaws now. At the same time I think they're getting sick of her again ^^;

I was always hesitant to play Sylvia online, and honestly now that I got the courage to do so, people actually do like her. It's like a dream come true for me. I'm genuinely surprised people enjoy her character even though so far she feels like a useless damsel in distress...

I still feel anxious now. Sometimes, whenever she makes a mistake, it feels like I made that mistake too, or when she pushes a character away, I'm worried I might've hurt the mun's feelings. For both me and Sylvia, stumbling around blind is just the nature of being autistic, and being hyperempathetic makes us question everything we do, because what if it hurts the other person's feelings? Making mistakes and saying the wrong things because we don't always have the words to describe how we're feeling makes living ten times harder, so I really am sorry anytime we make a mistake or something. If you just explain to us how that makes you feel, we'll do our best to change our behavior accordingly.

If I make a bad or offensive joke, or if I get too comfortable saying the wrong things, I'd like that to be pointed out too. Even if my feelings get hurt, it's better to let me know so I don't hurt other people than to spare my feelings. I'd rather feel mortified at what I said than not know when I hurt someone.

[capsgirl19]

Hey man I think I get where you're coming from here but this is just the concept of A Clockwork Orange.

Idk, I think the idea that empathy is this perfect virtue that won't let you hurt anybody is a serious problem. I've got both autism and npd, which is to say my ability to feel other people's feelings is negligible, and some of the worst shit I've ever had said to me came from hyperempathetic strangers who had decided I was a monster because my brain doesn't work the same way as theirs. Empathy does not stop people from being cruel. Even if you have a lot of empathy, that can be hindered by disgust. It doesn't prevent you from being able to dehumanize others, which is what the people you're talking about have done to the groups they hurt.

In my experience, it's particularly easy for people who get caught up in the idea that empathy is an objective virtue rather than a sometimes-helpful neutral trait to fall into using their own knee-jerk reactions as an infallible moral compass. It's the reason I've had total strangers inform me that I'm an abuser inherently and the best thing I could do for the people in my life is to die. I don't think these people are lying when they say they have empathy. I just think they've decided I'm something that cannot and should not be empathized with.

This might be too serious a reply for what you posted, I'm sure you didn't mean to get this deep into the minutiae of the term and I hope it doesn't come across as nitpicking. I just think tying kindness to empathy is a mistake. If, somehow, you could make somebody feel pain every time they hurt another person... I'm honestly not sure that would be a good thing. Who decides that? Why? I get that this specific post probably isn't a deeply held life philosophy for you, but the opposite kind of is for me. Kindness is always a choice. The idea that kindness is inherent to a randomly assigned trait by nature excludes some people from being able to be genuinely kind.

If I had one magic wish I would wish to erase the idea that suffering is a virtue

[stimmy-chloe]

I haven’t done too much research so far, but hyperempathy is already making... quite a bit of sense.

[innocent-until-proven-geeky]

Okay cool this post was asked for MONTHS ago but the discourse about this has started again (though I think things have improved) so let’s get into it:

Expecting “correct” apologies over sincere apologies is anti-autistic ableism.

So, there is a disclaimer: Of course, to some degree an apology probably should be “correct”—the point of an apology is to take responsibility for a harmful thing that you did and the harm it caused. So an apology that turns into “I’m a horrible person and I hate myself” is like… of questionable sincerity. This is something that we need to work out of our language as much as possible.

That said? “Correct” apologies rely heavily on social norms and the ability to speak vocally (or sign language within the Deaf community). I just queued a post about this, but a lot of people say that a “correct” apology means you don’t explain your side because it sounds like you’re “making excuses” or “invalidating the person you hurt”.

Sincerity should matter WAY more than the precise details of an apology.

If someone has to apologize over text because they’re hyperempathetic and don’t want to cry while apologizing and put the attention on them and their shame instead of their apology and the person receiving it, that doesn’t make them a bad person. (Had someone tell me that my apology wasn��t good enough because it was over text once.)

If someone over-explains why they did the hurtful thing they did, they aren’t necessarily making excuses, they might just want you to understand—or they might be trying to tell you THEY understand why they did wrong, which will help them do better in the future.

If someone doesn’t say all the right words, or says some of the wrong ones, or whatever—apologies aren’t necessarily a normal part of someone’s script and words can be really hard.

Focus on the sincerity, not how good the apology is, and if you can’t tell just by their words and tone how sincere someone is, because they don’t have a strong affect to how they speak, actions speak louder than words anyway. Unless you’re cutting someone out of your life completely, at which point whether they apologize “correctly” or not honestly shouldn’t matter that much, give it time before you decide they weren’t being sincere.

[c4rdsharp]

8, 9, and 10 for the munday meme!

what are some similarities between you and your muse/muses?

     Ooooh boy. Where to start with this? Both Luck & I are avid readers, lovers of poetry & art, deeply emotional & highly empathetic. We also share a lot of similarities in regards to how our brains work : we tend to be overthinkers who assume the worst outcomes, preparing ourselves in the event something were to go awry. Perfectionistic tendencies, often regarded as the smart one of the family to an almost detrimental degree, picky with those we choose to keep company with . . . I also tend to be very verbose and will feel the need to overexplain myself in any given situation, which just tends to cause more confusion. I think Luck has that exact same issue at times, and can often struggle communicating how he feels or thinks to others. We're also both prone to holding grudges against people who we feel have hurt us in some manner, often times to a concerning extent. Oh, and we both have an extremely good poker face.

what are some differences between you and your muse/muses?

     For one, Luck is a lot more ruthless & competitive than I am. He may be hyperempathetic, but he can be quite cutthroat when he chooses to be. He's also far more capable of setting down firm boundaries than I can, and can be quite the unpleasant character if you push him around enough. I also think he's a lot more childish than I am, in some ways, and loves to mess with people. There is a part of him that revels in his own cruelty at times, and I think it's fair to say Luck has a good deal of issues he has barely scratched the surface of improving. He also broods way more than I do and, although we both tend to assume the worst, he's a full - on pessimist at times and can be really stubborn. I'm way less social than he is, and have a hard time getting to talk to people, preferring to keep to myself most days. In fact, he actively seeks companionship in some verses whereas I will not go to a party if my life depended on it.

would you be friends with your muse if they were real?

     Hmmmm, that depends, I think. At the very least, we'd be cordial and get along fine -- in fact, a conversation between the two of us wouldn't be hard, once I had grown comfortable with Luck as a presence. Nor do I think I'm the sort of personality that would cause him much of a headache. I'm pretty low maintenance & low energy as a person, so I sincerely doubt I'd be much issue towards Luck for him to act unpleasant around me. That being said, I would not be very close with him. That's not even touching on him being a criminal, or his insane amount of emotional baggage. I'm just the sort of person who doesn't initiate much in the way of conversation, and I don't think Luck would go out of his way to discuss things with me unless it's relevant to his business. We'd be acquaintances, or casual friends, at most. I'm honestly not quite sure if I'd want to be friends with someone like Luck ; I love him as a muse, don't get me wrong, but as a person, I think I'd just find him terrifying.

munday questions! / @closedcoffins

[npdbubblygum]

Hi there, as a lot of people have seen there is a cluster fuck of a post in the npd tag about.. idek how to summarize it except glorifying empathy and villainizing personality disorders. They use narcissist, psychopath, abuser, and lots of degrading words interchangeably so be prepared for that. I won’t @ the person, partially because I don’t want to deal with the headache of them replying and partially because I don’t want to be responsible if they get harassed. They’re in the tag though publicly saying this so you could stumble upon it yourself, be careful and don’t read if it’ll hurt you! Tagged as #long post

It was so long so I decided to pick out the most relevant parts and comment on them.

People who know they have NPD don’t seem to go around calling people “unaware narcissists” as we know it’s difficult to notice and diagnose and increases stigma to do so. That’s something self proclaimed empaths do a lot though. Also, are you in this statement admitting that empaths can come across as self centred and “narcissistic” if people don’t understand what’s happening in their brain?

Personally I don’t feel any hatred for hyperempathetic people, that’s just a neutral trait some people have.

You can’t really say something is the opposite of a whole personality disorder that has several different diagnostic criteria and presents differently in different individuals. Brains aren’t black and white and antisocial PD isn’t only lack of empathy. The word for not being antisocial is prosocial what I know?

People can have compassion without empathy and people can lack compassion while having empathy, and it’s okay to not be loving as long as you aren’t harming people.

You shouldn’t passive aggressively say sorry to us in the same sentence you’re insulting us as “number out husks” and then go on to talk about how weak and cowardly we are. A lot of us had our empathy weaponized against us from such an early age that we had to turn it off to survive. If you value empathy so much, why aren’t you empathizing with that? I don’t really feel anything about it, it’s just a fact, but it’s also a fact that we shouldn’t have had to suffer through so much pain and then be blamed for how our brains developed. Also, if someone was born without empathy or had a traumatic head injury that impacted it they obviously didn’t choose that either. People who can feel a lot of empathy are also often scared of love and people without empathy can hate violence and conflict and have people they value enough to sacrifice themselves.

First of all, people in power are corrupt and become corrupt and are not the same as inventors or philosophers or any other great contributor, secondly those are exceptional people who stand out in history and didn’t have any access to therapy or self help or medication or anything else that helps mentally ill people function and cope. You can’t even go back in time and confirm who feels what level of empathy. People without empathy can also value peace, human lives, safety, etc. I constantly help caring for friends and community regardless of how little I feel about them. I don’t have to feel empathy, sympathy or compassion to do what is right, I can simply choose it, I can hate someone and devalue them and still choose to do what’s best for them.

The concept of empathy isn’t attacked we’re literally just saying we can exist without it and still be worthy human beings and people with empathy can be flawed and selfish still. We literally just want nuance and acceptance so people will have access to help.

Okay who thinks we’re actually out to destroy empathy? Maybe fascists are but come on. In the npd tag? You go into the npd tag thinking we have some kind of agenda to Destroy Empathy? People in society value empathy so much that calling someone empathetic is considered a huge compliment and calling someone unempathetic is an insult.

Fun fact! That’s how a lot of us were made! People literally broke our child-brains by using our empathy as a weapon against us and it was so overwhelming and terrible we couldn’t handle it :^) but yeah call abuse victims weak and pathetic that’s great love that for you

Also, a lot of us have really strong emotions that are incredibly overwhelming, not just a “dried up stream” lol

You talk about empaths needing a shield. Our “shield” was Not Having It.

Still unsure if you mean people with NPD or abusers or abusers with NPD but while there probably exists some people who go out with the intention to cause harm, most narcissists don’t and even most abusers work differently than that, they have a set of beliefs that they think justifies their harm it’s not really “oh how fun to destroy people” in a lot of cases. Of course it is unjustifiable though. I’ve read that abusive people seek out more empathetic people because they’re easier to convince that they can deserve it and often have qualities an abuser values, like a willingness to give more chances and staying quiet about mistreatment because they’d feel guilty or being guilt tripped easily. It’s often more about control than sadism, but sometimes it is sadism. Unempathetic people can also be abused and deserve to have resources.

Intelligence is actually not very easy to define and measure and intellectually disabled people should absolutely be included in that conversation and should absolutely not be called mindless, the mind is way more than the typical definition of intelligence. Heart doesn’t have a set definition and is even more loose than intelligence but if someone doesn’t experience the same types of emotions as me I’d still think they should be able to speak their minds about it.

Oh my god no one is denying the existence of empathy?? It is a well known concept, people study it, people who say they don’t feel it are admitting it exists because that’s what makes them different.

There are so many things to say here.. first of all are you equating npd to abuser again?

Secondly, this is a really toxic mindset. You don’t have to suffer through incredible emotional/psychological pain to be strong. You don’t have to be strong. You don’t have to “bear the burden”. If you’re in a situation that is bad for you, please do what you can to leave! You aren’t better or worse for not being able to handle the pain, you shouldn’t have to be in pain.

Thirdly, what do you think a narcissistic injury or crash is? It’s exactly that. Our sense of self and self worth crumbling when our defence mechanism doesn’t work. It’s not funny. It’s awful to go through. We do not have life on easy mode, life is a fucking nightmare, people with npd often have suicide attempts. How can you say any of this while claiming to empathize with people?

People with facial disfigurements have told me that disfigured is the word they want to be called, not deformed. Also, you shouldn’t vilify disfigurement like that, it’s not a bad thing and it’s ableist to use it to insult and to equate it with being an abusive person or having a mental illness. Also calling people monkeys is dehumanizing too. Don’t think you can get away with that.

You are actually correct about empathetic not being the real word - empathic is actually standard English. Not because -pathetic means you’re weak but because -pathic means suffering/experiencing/feeling/being moved by and -pathetic means means being able to move someone else. You’re being super fucking weird about it though.

Your pop culture references weren’t that accurate or relevant and you shouldn’t rely on made up stories to support your point when you’re talking about real psychology. So I won’t include them. I saw some other people already told you they were wrong.

Hopefully no one agrees with any of the shit you wrote it was a pain to make this post but it was eating at me when I tried to leave it alone so here you have it

[vegalocity]

Autistic hcs blz, but to start small do it with your top three favs

Okay so My top three ‘this character is The Autism and you can’t change my Mind’ right now is

Usagi Tsukino

So Usagi is both my Top Pick and my Oldest of the headcanons, And like everything in the classic anime backs me up, her hyperempathy leading to so many of her final villains getting redeemed or at least allowed to repent;

She’s canonically a flappy stimmer, the 90s cartoon gave us a bunch of moments where she’d get excited and start pumping her arms in circular motions

She’s probably got an SI in the romance genre, like... lbr even long after she knows what its like to actually BE in a relationship those romance overtures are things she’s SO invested in that it’s the quickest way to get her all starry eyed.

and, oh yeah considering the school stuff, the jokes are often about Usagi being lazy, but when she does try for her grades it’s openly shown that she honestly does have problems with who the lessons are taught as well as her lack of interest int he subject manner, her grades don’t start improving until Ami starts really tutoring her and likely changing up HOW to explain the lessons to the poor girl.

Usagi is hyperempathetic yes, but she also has a very difficult time in reading people, usually unable to see if she’s pushing a line until someone’s hurt over it, and then doing everything she can to make it better.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng

Ya girl Marinette is a Bounce Stimmer, all the time she bouncing up and down in canon so hell yeah that's her Stim. She’s got an SI in fashion because yes of course, And the lateral thinking that leads in to is in part why her plans are so... macguyver for lack of a better word.

She’s hyperemathetic which is why she’s so forgiving with people despite at certain points they may not actually deserve it. And is probably so used to the idea that she’s not understood that she is more likely to apologize for something that’s not her fault

Red Son

So Red Son’s my newest of the headcanons (for obvious reasons) but because I‘M SI-ing super hard onto Monkie Kid it means i’m doing a lot of projecting onto the boy.

And unlike Marinette or Usagi he doesn’t get the luxury of being in a stable enough household that he got to be ‘the weird kid’ and thus be allowed to just do his own thing. and as we all know disability only exists in the context of its evironment so it’s likely it wasn’t even seen as odd until the context around him began to change.

I mean there were probably SOME things that were always evident. his parents probably found any stims he’d end up with odd, I personally see him as a rocking type. I think i’ve also mentioned flapping in a couple of fics, as an exclusively happy stim (cuz who doesn’t love Happy Flapping?) and its possible he’s bee into machinery and robots basically since machinery and robotics existed as concepts lol

So he’s had centuries for that SI to expand to everything he can expand it to. His skills in inventing and tinkering, probably a splinter interest in science fiction because it’s the best place to get new ideas for projects (Try and tell me his ‘vehicles with ridiculous transformations’ weren’t because he watched transformers when the 80s rolled around and was like ‘i can make that bUT BETTER’) Most likely another splinter interest in practical effects in movies because that was where a lot of cutting edge for the era animatronics ended up, and every new idea and concept would then get recycled into his own projects.

And then that lead to ‘try to use science on magic and see what happens’ and bing bang boom inciting incident of the series

[iconsumeheadcanons]

persona characters autism headcanons!

hi im autistic and i started my day with sun so now im !!!!!!!!! some of these headcanons are from elsewhere on tumbr, but i dont know where :(((  so i am hoping someone out there knows that n that everybody knows that i love them <3

(also go check out mollypaup and i think hypeswap if you havent already! they post some good stuff autism+adhd hc too!!! i think.. oh! and thieves-in-the-palace!!!)

P5

Joker

there was some artwork from someone on tublr..where they pointed out that he doesnt really talk outside the metaverse so--hes hyperverbal as joker and just near nonverbal as akiren

he stims ALL THE TIME. that phone thing, the pencil thing, the little tappy tap of his foot, pulling at his bangs when hes embarrassed/smug. someone get him a fidget spinner. he’ll prob learn to do tricks with it

he probably sucks at focusing in class, like i know its just the game design but hes always surprised out of his daily “star out the window at the nearby office building” when his teachers ask him questions

mona mentions when the pt is at Wilton for the first time (after they run into shido) that joker eats like shit, and that could have multiple causes at the start of the story of course, but when i first played i thought that joker was a picky eater and that the variety (and amount of food) at the buffet would be an Ordeal...

tho mona makes that comment bc joker looked pale after having a little ptsd moment from shidos voice, but i didnt know that the first time i played

maybe when joker makes a face at ryuji putting so much ginger in his gyudon? joker probably does not like pickled ginger lol

his favortive foods are all spicy, which is why the curry he makes for his friends is always ‘overly spicy’, and why kasumi makes him a curry bento and joker kept going “...?” .... “....?!”

overly reflective glasses have been a great plus for him bc now he never has to make real eye contact every again!

mona Soft. play with Ann hair. maybe Braid. nice

puns (Gorou the Goroumet)

he has so many options to be straight up rude sometimes in game. he probably no clue on his own, which is why he defaults to Not Talking. people probably mention his constant scary face, which is just him being nonexpressive, squinting at all the fucking bright lights, and Tired

executive function who? we do everything last minute folks

high pain tolerance, which is why he was the kid that was always climbing trees in elementary school to get basketballs unstuck from the branches

his sixth sense lets him see treasure and possible places to climb/crawl bc 1. Shiny? Steal it. Steal it Now. and 2. Could i fit in that? Time to Find Out

probalby a bit of a klepto too oops. he’ll return it tho!! but he has to do it dramatically or he’ll die

cant sit properly to save his life

smells and touch are Great, they can keep him grounded when his brain goes off to police or dead rivals or guilt or

if a friend hung out with him and gave him total reigns of the agenda, he would choose to nap on the floor while his friend does something off to the side quietly

hyperfocuses on handy tasks (i.e. lockpicks, coffee brewing, cleaning, his part time jobs) and some things like movies and books. everything else is a tossup

his (normal) navigation app is his most used app bc he still doesnt know where hes going, even though he only goes to the same few places in the city

hates being sweaty, literally cannot stand it. probably double exhausted during the summer

but Needs Compression so hes often Struggling

Futaba

paraphrase from p5d “i have no motor skills so i cant play rhythm games :(” need i say more? (i will regardless)

echolalia all the time, from anime, memes, the PT

those headphones she wears all the time? noise cancelling ear protectors babey

only talks about her interests, “normal” talking is Not Easy, but she is still communicative w others despite her worries. shes not “hard to understand” at all but she feels the anxiety nonetheless

only talks informally, cannot talk ‘politely’ with out imitating someone around her

shes had meltdowns and anxiety attacks in game :( i relate so hard

Technology. thats it

def had an egypt phase that pops up every few months. probably came from yu-gi-oh

has Immune to Bright Lights buff.  joker is very jealous

“Time to make like a tree and leave!” and 30 other iterations

video game metaphors are the only ones that makes sense to her

probably relates hard to robot characters in anime for their general androgyny and confusion about human emotions and connections

probably gets told that shes “too smart to be on the spectrum” by teachers >:( she fails their classes on purpose

wakaba’s autistic too that just how it is

the Connection that she establishes with Joker is so Warm. my life goals include adopting an older brother like futaba has lsdkfjslkfj

also eater of 5 foods only, i mean, she brings cup ramen to the beach. i just really admire her...

hides in small spaces for comfort

doesnt she have like uhhhhh hyperthymesia or something like that?

Yusuke

art

his entire social link is learning how humans work, which i relate

talks seriously all the time

“sarcasm? who is that? are you saying I was sarcastic?...how?”

cant remember to take care of his body, and madarame did not help with that either

lot of uncomfortable staring, hes overdoing the eye contact thingy

infodumps all the time, doesnt know hes doing it

needs a lot of support even if he doesnt think he deserves it. no one ever complains about helping him out tho

visual stims my friends

he didnt know that you could look up pictures on the internet but he does know you can stream live videos of waterfalls and fluffy animales!!

I am certainly in the mood

for something salty today.

he and joker are scared of math. numbers do not interact

Yusuke, futaba, and akiren are a trio and i know this bc their first day of non-thievery interacts is Akiren clearing Futabas room w/o permission, futaba hyperfocusing on destroying medjed, and yusuke rearranging futabas figurines so they are more visually appealing

morgana is a support friend for all of them bc igor knows they need it

P4

Souji/Yu

yes, he mostly wears gray semi formal clothes bc parents tell him to, no, he will not changes this

Schedule or Death

“sorry, could you repeat that?” “huh? oh yeah, i was saying that--” “yeah that’d be cool.”

cats, fishing, he just likes to be quiet. you can literally spend a day at the beach just to think if you want, and that is what yu want

has a lot of scripts for things (of which he shares with nanako!) but if he runs out he just stops talking..

inaba is a godsend bc its so fucking quiet and warm

he Yearns to hold his friends hands, but he shies away from a lot of touch (excepting yosuke, teddie, and nanako)

Cooking and Cleaning makes the world better. he and joker vibe together with this

unlike akiren, he strong arms any executive dysfunction into Be Productive or Else. his punishment is feeling the pure anxiety of having to make up for ‘lost time’. (another symptom of his workaholic parents)

writes everything down, notes are very neat, has pages dedicated for bad doodles when hes not feeling his usual Super Classroom Focus

Cannot handle secondhand embarrassment (most often caused by yosuke) and will quietly slip away to random cats or origami folding

hungry, crunch crunch folks. probably needs chewelry bc he used to chew on his shirt collars when he was younger.

cleans up after everyone in the food court, constantly worries about them accidently hurting themselves. likely spends half of group conversations watching peoples hands

he canonically eats expired food, nanako plz help your brother

really clumsy, but people only notice after they decide that he is a cool person

video games are too chaotic for him

exhausted every night from the pure amount of masking he does, if a friend spends the night (or is like yosuke) they will know his more comfortable weirdo self (tho everyone knows hes a weirdo eventually)

hyperempathetic, sometimes just understands animals and children better than peeople his age or older

Yukiko

her jokes

she and souji get in ‘trouble’ together, she and joker commit crimes together

she and chie have to coordinate outfits, its important

actually understands metaphors, but does not understand people

like me, had no clue that creepy kid was flirting with her

she is very angry when she has meltdowns that might involve slamming doors and shouting. her parents call these ‘tantrums’ and ‘unfitting for a polite daughter’ but really thats because her meltdowns tend to be caused by arguments w her family after a long day of school and TV world traipsing

the metronome meme, except hers goes between Loudest Person in the Room to Quietest Pin Drop in the Planet. she is completely unaware of this

her atmosphere brightens when chie appears. that is not only the lesbian energy within her, but also because chie is like her Favorite Person

Cannot wear Pants. No (tho she wants to try it! but she puts them on and her soul instantly squashes)

happy flappy lesbian! watch out!

Naoto

the pouty face. all the time lskdfjlasdkf

hes really snappy sometimes and i love that for him. he and akechi should fight just to see what would happen (please read Bang Bang Shoot Shoot on AO3)

“do not touch me or my hat, thank you”

no one has ever seen him shutdown and no one ever will (except for his grandpa)(and kanji)(and rise)

probably likes certain food textures and will stand for nothing less, probably feels embarrassed about his preferences with friends

constantly jumps between ‘everybody hates me so i should act like them so they dont hate me’ to ‘i refuse to be anything but very comfortable as myself, and i dont care that im making you upset sir’

he and souji are the king and queen of subtle stims, but for unhappy reasons :(

does not make jokes. cannot joke around. understand? yes, do? no.

loose clothes are the only good clothes, but all tags and obtrusive seams will be obliterated by kanji tatsumi

not very empathetic so he probably comes off as an asshole to strangers (like when he throws away his classmates confession letters without reading them) but he tries so hard to sound comforting when his buds are struggling.

his understanding of others emotions/reactions come from his learning as a detective, which seems cold+clinical to others, especially compared to souji, whos completely unexpressive but very introverted people person

P3

Hamuko/Minako/Kotone

big personality!! very people-oriented!! koromaru and her are buddies!! when shes having a real bad time, shes very quiet and expressions turn off

interrupts herself in the middle of conversations all the time. no one knows where shes coming from. her brains is thousands of km ahead of her body

bouncey legs, swingin arms, twirlly skirt, little somersaults! when will she stop? never!

very obvious music stims with her hands and arms! people are like “oh there she goes! happy as usual!” shes listening to minatos heavy metal playlist

switches from exhausted to excited within milliseconds. no one can predict, not even her

SEES has to ask her for context all the time cuz she’ll just continue shit from 2 weeks ago without warning

professionals will assume shes very childish bc of how chipper she is, but she is beyond mature for her age and only feels comfortable enough to have serious conversations if a person has proved themself able to handle it

collects every little thing. her room is a mess and she has to get rid of most of it every time she moves :(

hates cleaning! smells bad, feels bad hhhhhgggg

dont let mitsuru-senpai see her bedroom

gets lost in the middle of conversations with others bc shes thinking about a story connected to one(1) word that was said earlier

 no sense of time and place, she just sees her friends and goes “ah, this is the right place, then” but junpei and akihiko are also lost so now theyre all screwed

Minato/Makoto/Sakuya

no talkies, no walkies

his story in the movies is him literally learning how to function around people he cares for

doesnt get jokes, expressions, body language, empathy, subtlety, metaphors, physical contact, or eye contact. aigis is probably the only person he truly understands right away

he is still nice to people because he doesnt see a reason not to be, but also he has very limited energy so only his senpai and old people get his most polite-kindnesses

cannot describe feelings for the life of him. the team wont know hes injured or sick until hes passed out

everything is too loud, time to drown it out with my loud ass music

rocking and chewing stims, ryoji is the first person to point him out for these subtle stims (not accusingly of course, just general pure curiosity and love for the uniqueness of humanity)

likes to cover his face with whatever is available, lives like a bat in a dark dry cave

will wear anything that has pockets and his blue/gray/black palette

sleepy at all times bc he never has much energy

when he was younger he probably needed a lot of support, especially after his parents died, because he wouldnt communicate like a neurotypical and would shutdown for hours in the middle of school without warning. probably missed a lot of lessons and field trips out of pure overstimulation

eating at all times. no preference, just whatevers closest

his meltdowns probalby include humming whining noises and curling up in a ball, which makes people want to touch him, but that is the LAST thing he wants. put a blanket on him! play some music! do not talk and do not expect him to speak

aigis is the only person who can touch him normally bc her hands are cold and he likes cold

never nude, feels mmmmmmmmm without clothes and probalby wears a full robe in the hotsprings

will not do things that take more than one step w/o someone else walking him thru it, which Same

[demigodofhoolemere]

~

Everything is so much. I’m getting overwhelmed to the point where it’s starting to become numbness. I can be very hyperempathetic but when it’s on so large a scale the brain can’t always take that in so everything with the virus hadn’t been too difficult on me because my brain just sort of shut off feelings about it for the most part, and because I know things will get better again I’ve been calm. But now there’s all of this happening on top of it and I’m beginning to lose it. It started with the video of George Floyd being everywhere I looked, every other post on every site, and I felt so sick to my stomach to be faced with such an abhorrent thing on a constant basis. I was angry about what happened, like a decent person racial injustice and cold-blooded murder make me livid. But I only have so much capacity to be angry, literally it is SO difficult to make me truly angry and impossible to stay that way, it just does not stay in my body. I can still despise what happened but physically I don’t have it in me to still be angry right now. Part of me wishes I could because I feel like my reaction isn’t enough if I’m not ticked 24/7. It doesn’t help when every single social media post you see is someone yelling that you’re horrible if you’re not yelling about it just as angrily and just as often as they are, that if you’re not saying anything you’ve chosen to side with oppression. My not saying anything isn’t because I’m not anti-racist, I am, it’s because I literally do not have the mental or emotional energy to get into any of this, I am barely getting by at the moment, and I have never had the capacity to shout from the rooftops about ANY real world issue, it drains me in unhealthy ways, and seeing others tell me I have to if I want to be a good person has never flown well with me no matter what the issue of any given moment is, though it still sends my brain spiraling into thinking maybe I’m not good because good people speak up, and how dare you not be horrified enough to do so, you must not actually love anyone if you’re putting your mental and emotional energy above fighting against discrimination, something is wrong with you for not feeling enough, you need to get up and be angry. And then there’s the riots and I’m seeing even more people get hurt and it’s in my city and my friends’ cities and they’re scared and I’m scared because there are people turning it into something far beyond what the point ever was and ruining the actual good message from the peaceful protesters and it feels like the world is one big disaster zone and everyone hates each other in different awful ways and I’m drowning in it. It’s all too much at once and I’m feeling horror at fifty different things yet somehow a numbness at the same time. And then there’s the part of my brain telling me I’m not allowed to be numb to it and that I don’t deserve to feel any of the ways I do when there are people suffering. It’s nonstop and I’m feeling too much and nothing at all simultaneously. I’m overwhelmed but it’s also somehow never enough, I’m not reacting enough, I’m not doing enough, nothing is enough. I want to be a good person who is educated about issues facing fellow human beings and helps however she can but I can’t freaking hear myself think let alone find the ability to do anything of use to anyone. All of this is already on top of my regular personal issues that I have to deal with all the time anyway, and sitting on top of all of the overwhelm at all times is the feeling that I can’t even be sorry for myself that I’m overwhelmed because I don’t have it bad, there are people who are suffering all the time, you don’t get to feel overwhelmed (or alternately, it’s good that you feel this horribly overwhelmed because this is what POC have to deal with, welcome to their world, you deserve this pain). I’m really beginning to lose my mind. And all of the things I wish I could do to get a respite from the internal chaos are unavailable. I can’t hug my friends. I can’t feel the peace of being inside the nearest temple. The COVID isolation hadn’t bothered me too much yet but I’m really beginning to feel the effects of not being able to do things or see people even more so because it’s all bubbling to the surface. I didn’t realize how much I’m being eaten away at by so many things until now. But if I feel bad about any of it there’s no mercy from the cruel part of my brain. I don’t even feel like I can post this because it’s about me and I feel selfish if I take all of this and make it about me and my feelings when people are going through hell. It’s never been easy to give myself the same compassion I’d give to literally anyone else if they came to me with the same sentiments. I’d tell them they’re allowed to be overwhelmed because all of this is a lot and there’s nothing wrong with them for their feelings, and I’d say that believing it wholeheartedly. Somehow my brain always convinces me that doesn’t count when it’s me. But I need to release the mess in my head or I’m about to crack.

I just want to start this year over or skip to the next one. I can’t deal with this one anymore. I want to be okay and I want everyone else to be okay.

[b-blushes]

30 days of autism acceptance day 16! Prompt list by autie-jake (: April 16: Do you experience hyper empathy or low empathy? Talk about it. What is it like?

I had to look up the definition of empathy so I made sure I knew what I was talking about, so here’s that for anyone else that gets confused between empathy/sympathy/etc! Empathy according to the Cambridge English Dictionary is “the ability to share someone else's feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person's situation”.  I think my ability to empathise fluctuates a lot. Sometimes I’m hyperempathetic, for example feeling strong emotions for inanimate objects. I have really strong memories of being a kid and picking the wonky stuffed animal if I was allowed to choose a toy, in case no-one else picked it and it was scared and alone - even thinking about it now hurts my heart a bit! I can also be super sensitive to the moods of the people around me, often feeling like I ‘catch’ their moods or the atmosphere in the room, and getting caught up and overwhelmed by strong emotions of others. I can’t watch scary or ‘psychological thriller’ sort of things at all, because I’m filled with fear and can’t shake it, but sometimes try to use other media with certain moods to mirror that feeling in myself, like funny things or sad things if I feel like I need to fully Feel those things. Sometimes I can imagine a situation from multiple perspectives, imagining how several people might feel from each individual differing point of view about something, and can act understandingly as I can feel myself how they might feel. Sometimes that’s helpful in giving advice or supporting others, as I can explain other people’s perspectives to help mediate and bridge gaps in understanding. Other times it feels like I’m in a bubble, and I can understand intellectually that other people are Having Feelings, but I don’t feel them as my own or strongly emote about them, if that makes sense? Other times, I feel strongly about a situation but it turns out to be at odds with the others responding emotionally to the same thing, and I can’t read or understand what they’re feeling at all, or why. Sometimes, even if it’s explained to me what someone is feeling and why they’re feeling it, I don’t get it at all, but at other times that explanation can be all I need to empathise with them. In some ways I find it curious how I can experience both extremes, going from feeling what feels like Too Much of other people’s emotions to not seeming like I’m feeling much at all. That compares to other autistic traits too though, like how one person can be at some times hyposensitive to certain sensory information and at other times hypersensitive. It can be a bit frustrating to not be able to predict how I’ll respond to things at times, but on the other hand in a way it’s nice to be able to experience the full range of things, even if at times it’s overwhelming! 

[tellthosewithpowersafeintower]

Autistic Bumlets HC’s

This is actually one of the first things I wrote but I’ve been nervous to post it. Anyway, I had so much fun writing this and love Bumlets so much

I might write more for this at some point if anyone’s interested with some more thoughts and I hope you enjoy! This is super long and kind of rambly but I had fun with all of this

Bumlets loves his cane

It has a really nice weight and he always needs to be fidgeting with something and he loves the feel it has when tapping it

It doubles as a stimmy and something to help him maneuver because Bumlets has no coordination

And he loves it

He also on an unrelated note had an injury that screwed with his foot when he was a kid

It bothers him more when its cold out and he relies more on the cane on bad pain days

He uses it as a selling point sometime

He and Crutchie joke around sometimes and mess with their crutch and cane together

They know things can be awful sometimes so they share lighter, goofy silly moments

Bumlets is really uncoordinated

He has a really hard time maneuvering around and controlling his movement when he’s walking

There’s this one table in the hall of the Lodging’s

It stayed in the same place but every day for three years the boy could not get by without knocking into it at some point

His proprioception is completely screwed

He loves dancing tho and he’s SO GOOD at it

He feels self-conscious sometimes bc like, he can do backflips and amazing dance moves but he can’t tell left from right all the time or the distance between objects and proceeds to knock into everything on his way anywhere

Absolutely LOVES dancing

He loves it

Plus dance is a more acceptable way to move your body than flapping your hands/rocking or whatever

At least with the newsies (who don’t really seem to care either way)

Bumlets loves being in motion

He had to work really hard as a kid to figure out how to coordinate his dancing movements. He spent hours trying to practice each step because he was so clumsy due to his brain function that even though he really freaking loved dancing it was really hard for him

He actually used the cane first when he was little to try and help push himself around when he struggled with dance moves he really wanted to do

He’s very proud of his dancing now

And he loves that he gets to show it with the boys he loves as family

He gets praised sometimes for being super expressive because he’s almost always smiling or showing something on his face. It can be really good for selling sometimes to have someone so that seems so open and friendly

Honestly tho Bumlets never knows what is happening on his face so if people ask he has no clue how to help

He has a hard time registering what his face is doing at all 

He can tell sometimes he’s smiling really widely when his face starts hurting but he feels pretty disconnected from his face most of the time and he’s really confused by how others can tell what is happening on people’s faces and what that is supposed to signify so easily

Like… how

Bumlets really doesn’t get idioms at all

He has a mental list of some of the phrases the other newsboys use

Even though sometimes he’ll slip up and get really excited and start grinning because he has a relevant point in response to that statement- but oh that’s a phrase/idiom or non-literal joke they didn’t actually mean that he should stay quiet

Plus English isn’t his first language

So things get really messy there too

There are so many little idiosyncrasies and quirks in different languages and they’re really hard to keep track of sometimes even if you don’t have autistic characteristics

His hair always stays down and he really likes the feel of it

He can’t stand the thought of getting a haircut

Plus having it long/hang down feels nice on the sensory end

He doesn’t like people touching his hair

Bad. Touch.

Bumlets doesn't like short pants bc if your going to wear pants they have to go all the way down

He doesn't like leaving just a section of skin exposed

It's gross!!

Baggy. Clothes.

He loves them

He very rarely slips up when he's dancing. Bumlets has rehearsed the motions for so many countless hours they feel natural at this point so he's generally in a pretty bad way when that does happen

When he gets excited he tends to start tapping his cane faster and his eyes light up

He can chatter away for hours about things he's interested in without pause or losing enthusiasm

Bumlets can be pretty oblivious

He has a hard time telling when people are upset or emotional

Hyperempathetic as frick

Internally panics and screams the whole time anyone is upset bc he isn't sure what he's supposed to do but he Loves Them

Hypersensitive to touches but loves hugs

He is a very physical person bc he loves showing affection but some days touch is just Bad

Can't do surprise touches very well

Espec from certain people

He has a hard time supporting his weight (he just sways faintly a lot but has no idea, can't tell if he's in motion) so he uses his cane for support

It helps him a lot

And he likes something to try to use to catch him if he stumbles a little

Plus itsa stimmy

He tends to shut down if noises and lights become way too much

Like this: 

Duck behind a statue for a moment to breathe

also

tap tap tap and finger thing I can’t get my body to cooperate to do

He has a few places he goes when he's overwhelmed

Very rarely completely shuts down but it's always incredibly exhausting

The first time he did it around the newsies he just collapsed and slept for hours afterwards

He didn't move like at all in his sleep which freaked them all out because Bumlets always seemed to be doing something + he slept for like a whole day

The boys worried about him

Bumlets was a lil sleepy and sheepish when he woke up but good

Used his cane extra that day

The newsies are super great

They don't always understand but they try really hard and love him to death

There aren’t really a lot of words to help him explain things because it is 1899 but they all make it work, and if the kids can sell papes and live with the rest of them they have been absorbed into their crazy weird family and will be fought for

They've become pretty good at noticing signs for when he's getting overwhelmed

Usually someone will grab him and take him out to rest if he’s not in a space to just go himself

Different people do different things but he loves them all

Some of the boys will just have quiet conversations with Bumlets one-on-one about things he loves when he's more coherent

One just sits with him quietly supportive while he fiddles with stuff

He actually doesn't smoke a lot but he loves fiddling with cigars or messing with them in his mouth

Oral stim

He used to use them a lot more

He still uses them sometimes and has some around

One time after a really bad day (meltdown) Race gave him one of his cigars. He made him promise not to tell anyone but Bumlets was so happy he couldn't care less

He was very careful with said cigar bc it was from Race

So it was automatically important

He doesn't always understand Race cause he's super witty but he loves hearing him talk

Bumlets can be a really convincing liar. He's not the best but he can definitely pass and he kind of has to on the streets

Can be really loud

Rowdy boy, like the rest of the newsies

Adventurous as frick

Wild child

He’s super eager and almost always seen smiling

He’s excited by so many things

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have other emotions because he definitely does

He feels like he just soaks up all emotions and dealing with them when he can’t understand is a mess

Skittery is great at listening even when Bumlets is past the point of words or even understanding how to put things into words

Doesn't always realize when things are supposed to be insults

Forgets he's supposed to take care of himself sometimes

He forgets he's supposed to eat and doesn't always realize if he's hungry or needs water

Exasperates Skittery and some of the boys but they try to remind him in case he doesn't remember

The newsies love him

He's awkward and nervous and doesn't understand things sometimes but really kind and cares very obviously about all of them

Appreciates the little things

He's good at noticing tiny details or inconsistencies others miss sometimes

While he’s friends are really great at helping that doesn’t mean he can’t fend for himself

He can definitely pick fights and hold his own and look after himself

His family is just their to help when things go sour

They don’t make him feel like he’s any less bc he’s “weird” or different

Skittery is incredibly close with him and helps him a lot

They’re So. Close.

Skittery helps keep track of things when his thoughts are more scattered

Bumlets is also very good at helping Skittery because he’s really smart with money and sorting things out

When he pushes himself too far sometimes Skittery is the exasperated friend who wants Bumlets to stop being an idiot and look after himself

He's really supportive and sometimes tugs him aside to help explain terms or phrases when Bumlets doesn't understand

Skittery also has a cane and they tussle a lot with them

Bumlets has always really loved that bc when they were starting it out it made him feel like he was one of them

They're almost always inseparable

And he has a hard time sometimes when he doesn't have Skittery because with Skittery things Make Sense 

When he's gone Bumlets is sad

He misses his friend

But the other boys are nice too and he loves them

He considers the newsies his family since he doesn’t really have his bio family anymore

[autistickitten]

[ Top: Them: I thought you were empathetic?

Bottom: Me: Sorry, I used all my empathy on people actually deserving of it. ]

So, I’m a hyperemapthetic autistic. I hear babies cry in a television program, and I curl up in a ball bracing for a breakdown myself. I get severe second-hand embarrassment when I can see someone else handling a situation so poorly, and I have to leave the situation before I turn to self-injury (head hitting) in response to this embarrassment. I imagine the pain animals go through so well that I cry because it hurts badly to be thrown away like trash, knowing there is no love. My hyperempathy is so much, that I’m talented in rationalizing everyone’s thought processes, even when I understand that there are actions that can never be excused with a simple explanation. It kinda makes me a big crybaby, heh.

But, ohhhh, do I have limits.

I grew up in environments where bigotry was explained away, and anyone wanting to do away with it needed to “calm the f*** down” because we were “ruining the fun,” we needed to “be polite, respect everyone’s views,” and all that other stuff. I was in a group of friends from high school who advocated for the removal of gay rights, excused a girl who had no problem flaunting blatant bigotry (body shaming, racial slurs) like it was something to be proud of, spoke casually of their discomfort with “special-needs kids” in front of me… And they always made it into MY FAULT for getting upset, because I was being “rude,” and I wasn’t “respecting their perspective.”

And I fell for it! My mental illnesses were aggravated with the thought that I was a horrible friend because I couldn’t tolerate their bigotry, like friends are apparently supposed to if they want to be mature (like a trusted adult always said). It persisted into young adulthood, with only a single person backing me up (who I will now marry sometime next year, because they’ve been the ONLY person to EVER really hear me out and make an effort to advocate for me, for us, for the people).

Well, after a while of dealing with this, I decided enough was enough. After many attempts to speak to these people, and getting shut down and laughed at into silence time and time again, I cut off almost all of them. There was just one left, who consistently shares Right-Wing sentiment on Facebook (you know, Trumpism) and claims it’s “friendly political debate.”

After numerous failed attempts to reason with him, made by myself, my partner, and another friend of ours, I unfriended him. He tried to convince me that we could still be friends in spite of our differing political views, and I told him I disagreed. He insisted that maybe he just wasn’t wording his perspective right in text, and I told him I couldn’t imagine how it would be any different in person. He didn’t have much to say to my long explanation of why his views were painful, so we left it at that. Finally, after seeing from a friend’s Facebook Feed that this “friend” had shared an infuriating counterargument against #BlackLivesMatter, I went for the block. And I’ve blocked everyone else who would try to defend this kind of behavior.

My partner tells me they wish they could do what I do, because seeing this person’s activity is debilitating on my partner’s mental health. It’s disheartening to know that someone we grew up with, someone we thought was a good person who would genuinely fight for us (said person is in the military), could be so hateful. My partner says they would feel guilty if they unfriended this person, as much as they can no longer stand this person, because they can imagine how he might feel being unfriended. My partner isn’t so hyperempathetic like me, but I think that’s why I can cut people off so easily.

I spend so much time thinking about all the horror stories I read on Tumblr, all the stories of abuse faced by the marginalized, all the stories that are minimized into “trivial affairs” by the privileged. I go back and forth between wanting to give up on this cruel world and wanting to save everyone from oppression. It makes me sad and it makes me furious, all of it. It becomes all the more infuriating if I know people who don’t care that there are people suffering, because it’s something they’ll never have to worry about. This military friend of ours would never have to worry about transphobia, homophobia, racism, colorism, ableism, any of that. So it was easy for him to dismiss our plight.

I put myself in everyone’s position and, while I won’t claim to feel everything they do, I can put myself in a position where I know what I would feel in such situations. And it hurts. It hurts so bad that it’s debilitating. My mental illnesses worsen because I know it would hurt more if I was actually living it.

Given all the energy I unconsciously use in feeling for these people, I find that I have nothing left for the people who would dismiss this pain. It doesn’t bother me that I might hurt someone’s feelings if I block them so I don’t have to deal with their abuse and bigotry. I don’t feel bad when I imagine them incapable of realizing what they did wrong, because I feel like it should be screaming-in-their-face obvious. People can scream at me for being cruel to cut off friends all they want. I don’t care how long we’ve known each other, how many good times we’ve had, how nice they may seem to me. The moment they show any bigotry, any eagerness to stomp on the marginalized people, I have no problem cutting them off. I’ve said all I can to these people, and still they laugh like I’m the one in so far in the wrong.

Yes, I have a great amount of empathy. It’s the reason behind my passion for social justice and compassion for all. I just don’t have enough to spare for the people who are okay with this suffering.