#had a pretty good morning too
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hi work was rough but i cried abt it to salem and im fine now
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i don't normally participate in these redraw challenges but it's megumi so i'll make an exception
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk megumi#megumi#looks at clock UHHHHHHHH oops#i got lost in the sauce that is rendering his gd chin and under his lips.... ive been in stylized anime mouth land 2 long i fear#i had forgotten how much of a pain those shadows are :'>>> eSP at a lookdown angle#fought a bit but little did he know i spent years doing coloured pencil portraits. this is My domain#god but the rest of the skin render was so FUN i love . warm grey in2 brown in2 red/orange fr the deep underneck shadow#lip tint heavy blush freckles glossier model fushiguro megumi...........im a believer i fear#had a bit of a hard time finding a middle ground between how i normally draw his hair and a more Realistic take on it#the model in the og has hair that's pretty close but i think the strands r a bit short n too heavily curved fr my tastes#its my brand im afraid i simply must give itfs both longer hair#nothing else feels Right#but god i underestimated how Good this photoshoot is as megu material . i get the hype now i get it#i did the sketch n i looked at it and i had an oh /oh/ moment#smh megumi put those lustrous emerald orbs away before u hurt some1#his gaze is too powerful . slaps a red bg on him makes him my new icon :)#anyway its 6am it is morning time do i sleep fr like 3 hrs or do i say megumi voice Whatever we shall see
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"Good morning, Matt. I'm over here." *proceeds to look around widly like a dog being told a special word like b-a-l-l*
he looks so disgruntled having to locate people he must've been shit at the I SPY books as a kid
media availability | 6.14.24 (x)
#matthew tkachuk#florida panthers#2324#playoffs 24#easily the funniest way to start a presser#hi good morning matthew now you must locate me in the sea of lights and people despite the fact it looks like you just rolled out of bed#making him use his pretty little brain already? absolutely deranged of em#paul had also had trouble with the lights too during the game 3 pressers#like father like son#anyways i cant imagine the sensory issues youd have to experience with bright ass buzzy lights i too would be just as grumpy#and then id cry#sensory issues are not fun ill tell you that much#its matthew ofc im gonna project my own sensory issues on him who do you think i am
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big man...why is he so big...(hes full of love)
#mine#original#oug im tired!!! sleepy!!#what hve i done this week... i processes like 30 orders bc i had such a backlog OGUG. did 2 drawings for my portfolio. did this drawing#also did sm good planning! and sketching!#i was gna colour my portfolio drawings but im. pretty worn out so now maybe i will not#my lower back has been rlly sore also so . im gna try n avoid sitting at my desk heeh#its like half 12 whilst im queueing this....gna hve sm lunch soon. adn then read maybe. i finished my book this morn it was ver good#foxen bloom by. someone. cannae remember !!! very good nice an short#its a nice day..might go 4 walk#ive started on the sleeves for my jumper uehue !!!! am def gna run out of wool so annoying....will b short like. half a ball.#im gettin close 2 finishing my blanket....kinda...i ordered too much wool for that kjbsdkjbs#yes yes reading. i should do yoga maybe. world of pain#okay goodbye
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now i can finally leave surprises in your inbox HEHEHEHE
#you have become TOO POWERFUL!!!!!!!!! i. i saw i had an ask from you and i was so excited.#‘wow!!’ i said. an innocent man. a fool. ‘what did my beloved gb say in our first correspondence? prithee tell for i am naught but gay!’#and then i was shot. in the face. point blank. eviscerated#tmnt#rise#FAVORITE#FAVORITES OF FAVORITES. the MOST FAVORITE#ok. drama over. gay shit now. hey. hey gb. [kisses you with tongue]#im so fkkin obsessed with your style and this is so amazing. it’s so soft. it’s so fkkin tender. i want to write a 50k fic just of this pic#your lines are so god damn pretty?? your colors are just. chef kiss. his lil face makes me want to **** ** ***** * ****#mwah. mwah. mwah. forever mwah. good morning everyone!! i hope your day started off .1% as well as mine bc if so it’s gonna be a Good One#ask tag
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OUCH.
#link neal#gmm#good mythical morning#instagram story#i can't believe it went so far that he had to post something#the man that not only abandoned but also pretty much never posts on instagram#and decided to post this???#i'm so angry for him#fuck you if you took it too far and left mean comments and acted as this was more serious than it actually was#i'm soooo tired of people acting like that#and saying the most awful stuff about link#ANYWAY#if they do mention it on an ear biscuits it's just gonna feel so bad#not looking forward to that#besides i bet people who would leave nasty comments about this don't even listen to ear biscuits anyway#UGH#i'm just so angry sorry#my post
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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
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excitedly waiting for ur reaction to the new aranee scout
>wakes up at 7am
>see this
>search the jp enstars twtt account
>(becomes blind bc it's on white mode)
>see this
>heart squeezes
>cry
#(heart still squeezes when i see her face again)#nghghhhhhjd$“#RUI stands for how pRetty fUcking stupId i become with anything arashi related#my thought after seeing the card: this is the best morning i had in weeks#inmediately my cat throws up and the electrecity is gone#this was supposed to be posted 3 hours ago btw#good to know my love for arashi is recognised too#actually thinking about getting the jp game again but i would need tons of gems but i know i wouldnt farm enough#rui thinks loudly#this is everything to me#printing her and putting her besides her last 5* in my wall#its the two lines in her mouth that suggest a :3 that kills me#i mean pretty much everything there kills me but that's the last punch#so many hearts...#she's so insane for this...#i would kill or die for her#shes winking at me btw#*heart squeeze*
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daily whistlepaw until ah becomes PoV day 1167
I think I finally understand how people feel when around a crush, can't say I enjoy it
#warrior cats#whistlepaw#windclan#medicine cat apprentice#this isn't my first crush lol but this one has had me feel the strongest of feelings (and might be my first genuine crush lol)#the fact I have been building up A Lot of stress for the entire week probably didn't help.#and the fact my stomach hurt is also probably at least partially to explain by the fact I barely ate last night#but MAN seeing my (latest) crush in such a pretty dress and then go on stage and play (a goddess!!!!!!! she's a goddess)#(I already bought tickets to go see the full thing; I will die but I will die happy (I hope))#but yeah I struggled for a good 2 hours to fall asleep and also had stomach weirdness happening the next morning#man it was not fun#(and then she came to sit next to me during class and I had to play it cool (I was too deranged on sleep deprivation to really care about#being my typical brand of weird but I do sometimes feel like an idiot around her and feel guilty because then I fear that she finds me#annoying and will hate me and I will fail this again (losing a friendship over a crush once was not that fun lol) and Traumas don't help#either at all so uh I'm just trying to spend time with her I just always feel a bit worried that I'm annoying her and it's consuming my bra#I do also still feel a little guilty about having this crush; internalized homophobia/issues around sexuality are hard to shake off#and while it's very normal and stuff I never dare to go the entire way when my brain conjures fantasies that are a little too risqué#I just feel guilty man I know I shouldn't but still it fucking sucks in my brain#and god talking about this in therapy would be a mess#I might have to eventually but I don't wanna#anyways; wild vent in the tags aside; yay a whis!
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youtube
When he’s lying there with his dog in his arms 🥹
#saw a comment on the dog clip that went: I wanna be that dog so bad#pretty sure that dog is dead#even better then#no please not#idk I loved that exchange#Alex turner#miles Kane#lana delray#karaoke#had to think about these so yeah#Youtube#also Alex’s dance moves 🥹🤣#like these tiny little snippets of them being themselves are so sweet#also I will never forgive Miles and Lana if they don’t release that ‘album worth of songs’ they wrote together#Cameron avery#like this friend group is/was so elite#the way you can already see Alex’s TBHC beard 🥹#also whoever worked the shift that night probably had the best and worst shift simultaneously#cause that’s too entertainment for free seeing all these a list Stars drunk dancing and singing; singing good certainly getting a nice tip#but also probably having to work wayyy longer into the late morning hours when the sun is already shining again
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last night i had a dream that i dont remember very well that had a book series in it that i realized after waking up was actually the plot of another dream i had that i entirely forgot about, so im starting to think that i might have some sort of dream world memory that only functions while im sleeping
#which is great if true cause i have some really elaborate dreams sometimes with entire worlds and plots and id love to revist some of them#the book was called the flame of magic and it was part of a series called the thirteen#i immediately looked it up to see if it was a real book i forgot about reading but the only book that popped up under that name wasnt it#i think it might have been like a reoccurring dream too but i genuinely cant remember almost anything about it#it was set in some kind of magic world where the sky was like red and there was an evil looking castle that was turned into a school#there was like some kind of evil bad guy that was secretly taking out people and the heroes of the dream were trying to stop them#its weird but i seem to remember more about that dream now than i do about the one where it showed up as a book#just wish i remembered more about it. pretty sure it had a good ending and some interesting characters#was kind of hoping it was a real book cause i wanted to reread it lol#i remembered even more about it in my dream last night but i immediately forgot most of it in the morning
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goodnight gamers!
#ash rambles 💚#it's been a pretty solid day! i didnt do much other than play j.udgment for hours straight tbh#and hey. I'm fine with that#I've had a lot on my mind as of late with just life and everything being pretty nuts so I'm glad to have that escape#i hope everyone is doing good#one day I'll organize this blog more and write some more fanfic also#... one day- i know i've said that time and time before#yawwwnnsss I'm so sleepy.. its about 1am rn so I'm about to snooze. just got to chapter uhhhh 8 of the game 👍🏽#something thats been on my mind a lot as of late is that i spend a lot of time supporting and writing shit for other peoples f/os and ships#which is great. it's awesome. it makes me happy. whenever i write these things there is never a doubt in my mind that the character LOVES#the shipper. when i say theyre soulmates i wholeheartedly mean that from the bottom of my heart. yet it's only when i write my own shit that#i get all insecure about it. especially in the case of my dearest husband since I really do just love him so much. i never do allow myself#that same grace huh? i never let myself be loved despite how i am towards my selfshipper friends#it's just been something that's been on my mind lately and it's something I'm trying to get better at. sometimes it's just hard to believe#that they really do feel the same. I adore these characters so much it makes my heart ache. that kind of love doesnt always come easy#okay now I'm just sleepy rambling#feel free to ignore this LMAAAOO#i am literally half asleep rn#gn gamers! sleep good! or good morning too if that applies#I'm gonna go fantasize about my husband + some y.akuza crushes and knock tf out#goodnighty!
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they should make a life where you don't have appointments, work, school and scheduled events every single day for months on end
#i just wanna spend like 2 full days rotting in bed is that too much to ask#december i'm going on a vacation with family + gf and we're trying to schedule a lunch/dinner so that we can go over the itinerery#and other stuff like my gf is diabetic so she's going to tell everyone the procedures in case of an emergency etc#and the soonest i'm available for that is oct 20th like bruh#every week day i've got classes 7:30-11:50 work 13:00-17:00 and then gym therapy or futsal practice at night#oh and sometimes the professor that i'm the student assistant (? monitor in pt) for wants me to go to her night classes#and then on weekends i've got futsal practice sat morning usually a match either saturday or sunday legal advice clinic 4x a semester#and then birthdays friend group meetups (with ppl i haven't properly seen in a WHILE so i don't wanna bail) family stuff or gf's family stu#oh and i take care of the finances of our futsal team so there's that as well#and then when i'm free i spend my time with my love (who i mostly see on either day of the weekend and sometimes for dinner on weekdays)#those are my favorite “appointments” i love spending time with her so much but even though we have quite a few staying in dates we also#pretty frequently go out to cafes restaurants parks meet up with mutual friends etc#so like... no bed rotting ever adfdsal#honestly i am not THAT busy compared to some ppl that i know#like i work from home most days of the week commute only 20 min to college am not a part of any study group etc etc#but man... that vyvense sure is working cause i do not think i would be able to do what i do now when my adhd was unmedicated#also i'm thinking of maybe getting a new internship next year cause even though i love my current one it's in public law which atm#is the field i'm thinking of getting into after school but getting into private law in brazil with only public law uni experience is#incredibly difficult. so i wanna be 100% sure i actually want public law. which means experiencing private law.#which means a private law internship#so i'm wondering how the fuck imma be able to pull that off next year#at least it pays much more than my current one! like probably double!#but honestly even with all the shit that i do and wishing i had more time for myself i've actually been so happy lately#i'm learning more at uni than i used to be able to i do pretty well at my internship i've got wonderful friends both old and new#my family is well and we get along like always i switched positions in futsal and am doing suprisingly good as a goalkeeper#and i'm in my first ever relationship. it's been almost 8 months till we made it official and it blows me away how good it's been#like we haven't faught once. disagreed on a couple things sure. but not a single fight and tbh even disagreements are very rare#idk we communicate and give each other grace and i just feel so loved. she knows me so well. i love her so so so so much.#like man just this saturday we were having an early dinner at a bakery. she stopped what she was saying and just stared at me smiling#and like i couldn't hold eye contact. cause she's so so fucking beautiful and she was looking at me with so much love and i had to look awa
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Rereading game of thrones has made me like. Really dislike the popular perceptions of margaery tyrell of like. This master manipulator and femme fatale because theres actually very little in the books that suggest that she is? While we get a bit of her and olenna (the like. Actual schemer...) through sansas chapters most of what we see of margaery is through cerseis chapters. And of course cersei thinks shes scheming and fucking her way through the castle because cersei is cersei. Its an extremely biased perspective on margaery but the show just kind of. Decided margaery is actually what cersei thinks of her. And thats just not the case. Like i dont think margaery is just. Chilling and doing nothing but everything we see of her shes literally just. Doing what a queen should and trying to support tommens rule to support herself and her familys position like. Cersei is just cersei.
#And yeas i call the books game of thrones too sorry#And like okay sure shes getting moon tea from pycell thats pretty damning but like. We know so little about that it could be her getting it#Like shes surrounded by other women and girls and while you can say its riskier for her to grab it than others i feel like you can also mak#The argument that she has the most access to pycell as the queen#And of course theres never any evidence that she fucks anyone? Cersei and qyburn have to literally torture confessions from people which ar#Obviously fake because torture doesnt work and the scene is pretty fucking clear about that like#Like sorry maybe i forgot something that will be in cerseis chapters in book 5 but like maybe margaery is just really sweeties we have way#More evidence of that and that shes winning by being sweeties.....#Good morning sorry had got thoughts#Game of thrones#Actual tag for it at the end sywoakskahd
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I am so gay I will see a woman on the streets that’s not that conventionally attractive and I will have to physically stop myself from staring because I am stunned by her beauty
#It’s too late for me#save yourselves#god why am I like this#I literally had a mini panic attack this morning#good lord women are so pretty#Lesbian#bisexual#nonbinary#enby#Non-binary lesbian#what the fuck is wrong with me#I’m too gay for this world
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anyway. have i ever shared delm here.
delm. distance. the ancient he's a shard of was named sisyphus & he's really feeling it
#ffposting#delm distance#YES he does his makeup himself. very carefully. every morning. the horrors may be unending. but youve got to show it on your face too#doesn't know how to talk to people. was a gleaner until he got sent to eorzea for Work & he got caught into the adventuring thing.#gets awesome nightmares zenos style & it's not really exciting or fun for him. if you can imagine. but hes not like a scared guy abt it.#he has some social anxiety but shockingly little fear of pretty much anything that isnt a person trying to talk to him#the dreams bring him a lot of distress but its more on the like. 'they make me feel powerless & useless' thing#since he of course cant do anything abt. the scenarios.#& neither could sisyphus! he was not an azem or anything he was literally some fucking guy working menial jobs & whatnot#& he had to watch very important people get sacrificed to summon zodiark. himself was never even considered.#line of thinking is that he is so worthless he wasnt even a good sacrifice candidate compared to 'important' people like hythlodaeus#so yeah the dreams kind of have imparted that self perception on him. but he doesnt let it get to him (he does)
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