#had a long bus ride today and thought I’d post the results here

[dc-said-bi-robin-rights]

“What are the major blood vessels that run through the neck called?” Slade asks, his back to Rose, his hands busy with operating the makeshift laboratory’s equipment. He did this sometimes, quizzed her on things she had already learnt, on the rare occasion that he runs out of super-soldier serum and doesn’t have the next batch ready yet. He says it’s to make sure her memories while on the serum and her memories while not on it don’t get jumbled; Rose suspects he just likes to make her obey him even when she isn’t chemically forced to.

Rose lifts her head, curtains of white hair falling over her face as she does so, and says nothing.

(A man had stood over her like this, once, and had screamed at her to cry. She hadn’t obeyed then. She’s not going to obey now).

Slade doesn’t quite turn around, but he does turn his head to the side so that he can look at her over his shoulder. “Don’t make me ask again.”

Her lips betray her before her conscious mind can stop them. “Carotids.”

Slade lets out a pleased hum. Rose tries not to retch and mostly fails, a flood of bile overflowing through the gap between her lips and running down the sides of her face to stain her bodysuit.

She can’t even wipe it away.

“How many are there?”

Not for the first time, Rose wishes that her hands were free so that she could rip out her own vocal chords before they betrayed her again. As it is, she closes her eyes—or rather, eye, singular, now—and slumps back against the radiator she is chained to, taking comfort in the way the sharp metal edges of the device dig into her back in a way that is uniquely real, and prepares for her body to betray her once again. “Two.”

“Where?”

“On either side.”

“Either side of what?”

“The neck.”

“Good girl.”

~~~

Unlike most people, Rose Wilson disliked late mornings.

It wasn’t that she thought there was anything wrong with waking up late—she wasn’t her father, she didn’t share the same gung ho military outlook on life that led him to live his life like a wannabe Spartan—it’s just that she liked the solitude early morning would bring. Those precious few hours in which everyone was asleep and she was unaccounted for were more precious to her than any of her meager belongings. Usually, she’d spend those precious hours on the roof, either going for an early morning swim in the rooftop pool or taking the opportunity to lounge about in the early morning California sunlight, but today she’d slept in a little longer than usual and didn’t have enough time to do either of those things before her teammates wake up, so she decides to just get herself a coffee and spend the time she does have scrolling mindlessly on her phone.

She would have done just that if she hadn’t walked into the kitchen to find her teammates sitting around the table, clear-eyed and awake and evidently waiting for her. The back of Rose’s palms starts itching, but she pushes her instinctual paranoia aside and leans against the doorframe, letting her one-eyed gaze sweep over the assembled heroes questioningly. None of them meet her gaze. Some rub their arms or scratch the back of their necks, but not one of them looks at Rose.

Ah, she thinks, feeling bitterness roil up from her stomach. This is it, then. The moment they finally kick her off the team for good. She’d been wondering when they would finally muster up the courage to just get it over with.

In any case, Rose isn’t about to make it easy for them by taking the hint and packing up her stuff like a good little bunny. If they want her off the team, they’re gonna have to look her in the eye and say that, she decides, doing her best to pretend her mouth doesn’t suddenly taste of bile.

With that in mind, she pushes away from the doorframe and walks up to the table, putting her hands on her hips and looking down at her teammates with narrowed eyes. “There a team meeting no one bothered to tell me about or something?”

Her teammates shy away from her gaze, all save for Tim, who is the only one with the courage to at least turn his head and look her in the eye. She thinks she could respect him for that, if he was anyone else, if this situation was anything but what it was.

Rose’s lip curls. “Well?”

Tim’s eyes slide to the empty chair to his left. “Sit down, Rose.”

She doesn’t move. “I’ll pass.”

Tim sighs, long and weary, like a suffering parent talking to a particularly obstinate teenager, and Rose think she’s never wanted to punch someone in the face as much as wants to punch him now. 

Perhaps sensing her rising hostility, Conner stands up and places a hand on her shoulder in a way that doesn’t feel placating at all.

“No one wants to make this any harder than it needs to be, Rose,” he says, his voice hard, and Rose wonders when he began to use his super-strength as an implicit threat. She shrugs her shoulder, trying to shake off his hand, but his grip simply tightens, his invulnerable fingers denting the scales of her armor under them. Rose exhales in pain and surprise and tries to shove him away, but he simply catches her hand and twists it behind her back painfully, forcing a pained grunt past her lips. Her free hand drops down to reach for a weapon, a flashbang, anything, but Conner grabs that arm as well and twists it behind her back next to its neighbor.

“What the—ow, fuck, let go of me!” Rose snarls, straining against his hold. “What the hell is the matter with you?!”

“I’m sorry, Rose,” Tim says, his face like stone. “But you forced us into this.”

Rose doesn’t understands until he reaches into his utility belt and pulls out a syringe dripping with a very familiar yellow liquid. Her eye widens in horror.

“You wouldn’t,” she says, her voice half gasp, half whisper.

“We invited you back because we needed your skillset, Rose.” Tim takes a step forward, and Rose almost dislocates her own shoulder trying to pull herself away. “But we don’t need you.”

Rose’s one eye sweeps desperately over the room, looking first at Eddie, who disappears in a puff of smoke without even looking at her once, and afterwards at Cassie. To her shock, the demigoddess keeps her gaze on the wooden wall of the cabin, shame coloring her face. She nods, even though Tim isn’t even looking in her direction. “Do it.”

Rose doesn’t even have time to feel the cold sting of betrayal before the syringe plunges down towards her neck. The last thing she sees before everything goes dark are the blurry faces of her teammates flitting around the edges of her vision, faces and mouths stretched into unnatural grins, her father’s laughter ringing in her ears as the cabin burns.

“Good girl,” he says, again and again, in between bouts of cackling. “Good girl. Good girl. Good girl. Good girl…”

Rose doesn’t exactly wake up screaming, but she does find herself sitting up in bed, breathing heavily, once her enhanced mind chases away the petrifying fog of terror that’s enveloped her senses. Pushing down the panic worming its way into her heart, she reaches for her phone and swipes a thumb across its surface to unlock it, quickly selecting the camera app and taking a picture of her own neck. She holds it up in the darkness of the room and tries to focus on her breathing. No marks. No bulging yellow veins, no round patch of dead skin, no pulsing muscles. Nothing.

Not that that means anything, Rose reminds herself sharply. After all, the first time her father drugged her the effects lasted for well over a week, more than enough time for the marks to disappear. She needs to go through her checks, needs to reestablish what reality is and isn’t, needs to-

“Rose?” She feels a hand settle on her shoulder, invisible thanks to her blind spot. “What’s wrong?”

Rose’s breath hitches and she blindly shoves away the person the hand belongs to, registering the shocked yelp she makes as she falls out of bed. Rose scoots backwards and turns her head so she can look at Cassie—Cassie who turned away, Cassie who let it happen—as looks up at her from where she’s fallen, tangled in a nest of sheets. “Hey, what the hell!?”

“Don’t touch me,” Rose snarls, kicking the covers away and scrambling to her feet, breathing hard, her mind whirling as it tries to separate nightmare from reality. Was she dosed with the serum and is only now snapping out of it? Was it all a horrible nightmare? Do they want her to think it was all just a horrible nightmare because they did drug her but ran out of serum halfway?

She’s being stupid (is she?).

Tim would never have done that (wouldn’t he?).

The team would never have let him (does she know that for sure?).

Cassie would stop it (what if she didn’t?).

Or… could this be the dream?

Maybe she’s back with her father. Maybe she never escaped. Maybe all of this is just an induced hallucination, created to ensure her mind remains dormant while her father uses her—uses her body— as he sees fit. He knows people who could do it. Telepaths, supervillains who specialize in mind control, scientists, hypnotists…

Maybe she imagined Dick. Maybe there were never any Titans. Maybe the real Cassie has never even met her. Maybe the past years have all been a figment of her imagination. Maybe she’s alone in that stupid cabin in the middle of fucking nowhere with only him for company and she doesn’t even know it.

“… Babe, what’s wrong?”

Rose blinks. Cassie is standing in front of her now, her gaze having softened, her hand hanging in the air as if she’d reached for Rose again but thought better of it. And Rose…

She wants this to be real. She wants it to be over.

“Babe?” Cassie asks again, moving her hand forward but stopping just before palming her cheek. Asking for permission.

Rose turns her head and takes a shaky breath, trying not to think about the fact that her father never asked for permission for anything. No, she says without saying anything, and half expects the world to collapse then and there.

It doesn’t.

“Okay.” Cassie lowers her hand and takes a step back. “Sure. Whatever you want.”

Rose takes another heavy breath and moves to sit down on the edge of the bed, pushing her hair back with one hand and sighing. Cassie sits down as well, and Rose finds herself leaning into her without really meaning to. Cassie, taking that as assent, begins rubbing calming circles into the small of her back.

“I get it,” Cassie says after some time.

“No, you don’t,” Rose says, but doesn’t move away. “None of you ever did.”

They stay like that for some time, neither saying a word. The only sound Rose hears by the time they both go back to sleep is the sound of her father’s laughter still ringing in her ears.

[wordsinwinters]

Then Again, Part 26 (Peter Parker x Reader)

Masterlist (with AO3 links)

Total word count: 50,293

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25,

Summary: After an intense argument and a forced-to-share-the-bed situation during their junior year decathlon trip, Peter and the Reader examine their faults and failings. As they attempt to fix their mistakes and improve their friendship, that friendship quickly begins to evolve into something else.

Slow burn fic in which all characters are included and their dynamics explored; multiple character POVs.

Betas: @girl-tips-from-satan and @fanboyswhereare-you

A/N: This isn’t my favorite chapter, but it’s been sitting in my drafts for over a year and I figured if I don’t post it now, I’ll never move on to the next. Additionally, as always, I live for feedback. 😉

Without further ado,

Then Again Part 26:

(Words: 2,825)

The bus ride will probably get boring soon, or at least as long as the girls stay asleep, but even as quiet as it is, it’s almost a perfect morning. Being early (around 6:00, I think?), there’s barely any light except street lamps and car lights, but some of the clouds on the right have caught a pretty bluish purple tinge. It reminds me of that Rainbow Fish book Aunt May used to read to me as a kid. To make it better, the morning air is chilly enough that the driver turned the heaters on low so it’s wrapped-in-a-blanket-while-it-snows warm in here. Although that also might be why, apart from general dirt and old gum, the strongest smell on the bus is salty grease— since the nearest heater is under the seat Flash spilled french fries and chicken nuggets in yesterday. It could be worse, though. I mean, it’s not necessarily a bad smell and the traffic isn’t horrible. It’s not the best, but it could definitely be louder and a lot slower. The field of flowing red tail lights ahead of us is oddly comforting, like a snail-slow pasture of mechanical color. 

All in all, it’s a pretty cozy start for a dreaded five hour bus ride. It’s giving me quiet time to think. So that’s where I’m at. Or should be. I got some stuff organized in my head last night even if I keep getting distracted now. Well, it was more like a couple hours ago, since I wasn’t able to get to sleep for so long after we said goodnight. But anyway, I’m trying to focus. It’s just hard, even with both of them sleeping.

From my and Ned’s spot behind them, watching the girls’ heads gently shake and bump against each other as the bus shudders through potholes is kind of calming. They seem so peaceful from this angle, like two people who’ve never pranked me and Ned to the point we were nearly suspended, or kept us awake and annoyed by asking paradoxical hypothetical questions because they know how Ned and I will argue for days if we don’t agree on an answer, or anything else like that. It’s like finding two mischievous cats sleeping, curled up on a chair. It’s easier to appreciate them when they aren’t causing chaos. But it’s not that hard to appreciate them when they are anyway.

Though Ned and I won’t admit it when they’re fully awake, seeing their heads smack into the seat in front of them each time the bus lurched to a halt at stoplights (during the first ten minutes after they’d fallen asleep) was funnier than it should’ve been. Even knowing then that we wouldn’t mention it later didn’t stop us from exchanging silent laughs when they leaned back up, muttering unintelligible complaints before settling their heads back onto one another. For the last couple stoplights before the highway, at least, we decided to be better friends. We both stood up with one leg on the floor and one knee on our own seat so we could easily hold their foreheads back each time it happened. Again, I wouldn’t admit this out loud, even to Ned, but it’s a little bit funny that Ned was a split second slower than me, so while I kept catching MJ’s head before the stop, he half-smacked Y/N’s forehead, like a really-close-to-the-floor basketball dribble, and made a wincing face each time. A lot of times. But it did stop her from colliding with the seat, and she didn’t wake up or complain. 

As nice as it is with them and almost everyone else sleeping through the dark, quiet first hour of the bus trek back to New York, I am excited for her and MJ to wake up. Whenever that is. I’ve missed them. 

But anyway, I really need to focus. God. I’m not doing a great job of that this morning. Apparently. So I’m focusing now. It’s like Ned said. I need to be honest with myself. 

Okay. 

Alright. 

No distractions. 

I’m going to set myself straight now, before we get back, so I can make a game plan and be more decisive and make less mistakes. Fewer? Yeah, fewer mistakes. She’s told me that half a dozen times this since she read that grammar book last summer. But that’s not important.

If I’m being honest... I think I’ve avoided the real possibility that things could work out between us because it felt too risky. And I make some dumb, impulsive choices. So that’s saying a lot. If she said no, what’s the worst that could happen? May and Ned have been asking me that for months, and it’s been so frustrating. The answer should be obvious. The worst thing wouldn’t be the rejection, it’d be if it made her uncomfortable and she broke off our friendship. Or, even if she stuck around, if our friendship changed and I had to watch her get more and more distant, knowing it was my fault and nothing would ever go back to normal. 

Those were the worst — and, I thought, most probable — possibilities. For months I’ve been certain that if anything changed, everything would, and it’d all go to shit. So I kept dodging it. And dodging her before the trip. But, then, things did change this weekend. Things are changing. We fought, and it was super shitty and awful and a total nightmare fiasco, but we made up. And she seemed almost as relieved as me when we did. Now we even have this pact about spending more time together. I know it’s officially only in the name of friendship, but something’s… different. I feel it, and I think she does too. And it doesn’t seem bad. That’s the craziest part. I mean, she even kissed me last night. On the cheek, but still. “Keep it.” Maybe May’s not ridiculous: she really might feel the same way. 

I’ve been texting her this morning, actually. Aunt May. I had to admit that I’m happy she forced me to do the forehead kiss thing last night. As annoyed as I was that she and Ned ganged up on me like that, I can’t dispute the results. She kissed me! Kind of. (To be fair, she did hit my mouth a little bit even if it was an accident.) At first it made me wonder if she heard any of Ned’s shout-comments before I could turn the t.v. up to cover what he was saying. But I doubt it. Even if she felt the same way, I know her too well to think she wouldn’t freak out more and enough that it’d be noticable. Yeah, no, I’d definitely have been able to tell if she’d heard him saying things like, “Nobody’s saying you have to tell her that you googled the probability of high school sweethearts getting married that time she saved your ass on that Bronte essay, but yeah, Aunt May’s right! Just ask her to come over and either talk to her or do the hair/forehead thing!” Anyway, May’s on board with her coming over a lot this week and next week and giving us some space. So are Ned and MJ. Ned said they agreed on giving us two weeks (starting tomorrow) without them hanging out after school. And who knows, if the dance goes really well, maybe it’ll be normal for us to hang out, just us, without the whole group. Because… well, I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself. 

I’ll admit, they’re the best friends I could ever have. All three of them. 

And it’s nice to have them all here now, Ned to my left and the girls in front of us. It’s even nicer to be outside of class or the city or crazy study sessions and have had a short breather from all that (despite the shitshow before we smoothed things over and could enjoy it). To be somewhere chill together. Yesterday and today probably feel even better because the last few days, or even weeks… no— months, if I’m being honest— have had me in a kind of less than happy place. But that’s over now. We’re all here and things are finally good. I just wish the girls would wake up, especially since Ned’s back on his phone. Again. 

Yesterday, everybody hung out for most of the afternoon, but being in the whole decathlon group isn’t the same as just being the four of us. Or two. 

Speaking of two— Ned being away during this next week or two is going to make everything so… unfiltered. New. Without his interference and being able to talk to him as often as normal, it’ll mostly just be her and me. Nobody to distract attention or blame stuff on or help me out when I’m doing something dumb (which is often). Like, for example, last night when I maybe let my excitement get the better of me and I might’ve jumped on the bed and thrown a pillow that accidentally broke the lamp on the nightstand. While I don’t really think writing that “Bill Mr. Harrington” note with the school’s address was Ned’s best idea, it helped me not care too much, enough that I didn’t do something dumber like actually tell Mr. Harrington. It might come back to bite us, though. Still, he was genuinely helpful this morning when Flash showed up too. 

While we were hanging out in the girls’ room waiting for them to finish packing, there was a knock on the door. I figured it was Mr. Harrington about to yell at me and Ned for the broken lamp, so I motioned to Ned to shut up and move closer to the head of the bed we were already sitting on where, courtesy of the wall between the bedroom and bathroom, he wouldn’t be able to see us as long as he stayed by the doorway. MJ gave us an odd glance before she got up to answer it. Her annoyed, “What are you doing here?” didn’t immediately disqualify Mr. Harrington, but the sound of Flash’s voice saying, “I, uh, brought you guys some muffins,” made me tense at the first syllable.

“The free muffins they give us for breakfast?”

MJ’s dripping sarcasm nearly made me laugh even though I couldn’t see her, but Y/N turning from her suitcase and walking over to join them killed it still in my throat. 

“Nope,” he said. “They’re fancy muffins from a bakery a few miles away.”

I wanted to roll my eyes out of my skull.

She may not like him, but that doesn’t mean I was wrong about him being into her. What a dumb way to impress someone. “Fancy muffins.”

“Expensive?” MJ asked. Even without seeing her face, I could tell she was giving him the squint death stare. It’s scary to have to respond to that face if you don’t know what the right answer is.

“Yes, especially with the delivery fee,” he said, sounding prepared for the question, “but they’re from a small local place, not a chain, which I figured you guys would appreciate. Actually, I think you’d like the woman who owns it, she was super grouchy and hard to convince.”

“Convince?”

“They don’t normally deliver at 5 in the morning.”

“Oh, so you thought you could just—”

“What kind did you get?” 

That’s one of the things I like about Y/N. She knows how to manage tempers and when to jump in; she has Flash and MJ down to a science. In that moment, though, I wanted MJ to fire her most confrontational questions at him with no mercy.

“Well, they’re all apology muffins—” I heard MJ scoff. Exactly. She gets it. “But I got blueberry, chocolate, obviously, coffee, cranberry orange, maple, I think that one has chicken in it or something, and banana nut.”

Ned and I turned towards each other with silent smirks at the last one. It’s a dumb joke, but under normal circumstances we’d never resist—

“Cool. Since you’ve brought so many, you can come in.”

Sometimes MJ drives me up the wall. This was one of those times. 

I mentally took back my agreement with her scoff.

The three of them came into the room, and for a couple seconds, Flash didn’t see us. The girls were closer to the window than they were to the wall and the bed Ned and I were sitting on, and he didn’t look behind him. Until MJ pointed us out directly.

“You can give them some too,” she said, her expression bordering on smug. “Apology muffins, right?”

Flash froze for a second. I straightened my back. Neither Ned or I said anything.

“Yeah, yeah,” he nodded. “Of course.”

Surprisingly, he shook his shoulders like a bug just buzzed by his head and walked over, opening a giant rectangle of a box up to us. 

“Take however many you guys want.”

I stared at him, not moving. Nobody flinched. Then I realized he was tapping the side of the box with his thumb. Not in an asshole come on, hurry up way, but in an anxious way. Just as I started to reach toward the box, Y/N asked:

“Why’d you get so many of the coffee ones?”

Flash looked away at just the right second. 

Did I technically cave first by reaching into the box? Yes. But did anyone see? No.

Although, I guess he technically caved by offering us the muffins in the first place. Ha. All the same, I took a blueberry one. 

“They’re my dad’s favorite. I wanted to surprise him, you know? But I can’t even get a hold of.... Um, are your guys’ parents going to pick you up when we get there, or are you actually staying for school?”

“Staying.”

“All of you?” 

He looked around to ask all of us, even me and Ned. We all nodded. When he looked at me, though, his eyes twitched. It’s a face I’ve gotten a lot before. He realized he said parents. 

“You said these are orange cranberry?” Ned asked, pointing. 

Flash nodded. 

“They’re solid, though the banana nut ones are probably the best.”

As I said, under normal circumstances, like if one of the girls had said it, I would’ve laughed right then, but I’m not used to laughing around Flash. Ned, who usually follows that same rule, shook his head and grinned, if a little bit... nervously?

“Hell no!” he said, pretending to be mildly outraged. “I’m not eating banana-bust-a-nut muffins.”

A second surprise: Flash tilted his head and paused, clearly as stunned to be told a joke by Ned as the rest of us were to witness it— and laughed. So did everyone else. It was only for a few seconds, like literally three quick seconds, but for the first time for as long as I can remember, all of us were laughing with Flash. It stopped almost as soon as it started. 

Tension crept back in soon so he left pretty quickly after that with an awkward, “See you guys in a few.” Thank god. 

The girls finished tidying their room and going over the homework that’s due today (which we did last week since we knew we’d never get it done on the trip), before forcing me and Ned into the hallway so Mr. Harrington wouldn’t need to check our room for us and potentially find the broken lamp. 

And then, pretty soon, we ended up on the warm bus, loaded in with everyone else. It seemed like everybody but Ned and I were too quiet and sleepy and squinty to be able to talk much before dozing off or staring blankly out the window or scrolling social media on their phones, the latter two options leading to the first in most cases. At this point, I think Ned, Flash, and I are the only ones still awake. 

I’m going to work at tolerating him. As long as he doesn’t cross any lines with anybody from now on, I won’t bait him either. (Admittedly, I’ve been guilty of that, especially recently.) I mean, his comment about his dad was hard to miss. And even when he said it, it wasn’t a shock. Everyone in our grade at some point has had to listen to Flash’s rambling excuses for his parents ignoring or forgetting to show up for school events. Maybe being a dick is just hereditary for him. Or a family tradition. 

I don’t remember how I got so off track. Where was I before? Oh yeah. Risk. Possibilities. The almost-worst case scenario that turned out not so bad. It’s been a messy weekend with plenty of re-evaluating, but the point is simple: I think I’ve got to give a few new things a try, and I’m excited to have a chance over the next couple weeks.

Next update: God only knows.

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[early20thcenturynerd]

“Margetta Hirsch Doyle ’45 was a regular student at William & Mary. Her friends called her ‘Getta’ and she was a Kappa Delta. Doyle kept a diary and wrote about her philosophy quizzes, described how much she enjoyed making Red Cross surgical wrappings and mentioned hours spent spotting airplanes from campus buildings. Doyle was a student during World War II.

During the second World War, William & Mary became a predominantly female campus. While many college-age males fought abroad, women kept up the war effort from Williamsburg. In between their studies and social life, students volunteered with the Student War Council and the American Red Cross. Along with other service work, they, like Doyle, made surgical dressings and spotted airplanes, sometimes in groups and sometimes alone.”

Margetta Hirsch Doyle’s Entries for September, 1943:

SEPTEMBER 1

Mother roused us early since Beth and Kay had to go to work - Lou and I trailed sleepily after them. “Goodbyes” were said and Lou and I with Mother, talked and talked about how to improve KΔ. It was much the same stuff, but with new ideas. We finally managed to dress for a late lunch at the Chinese restaurant in Jamaica and seemed to stuff ourselves. Louise hopped a subway and Mother and I met Herbert (a date - hey! Even if he is just 13) and saw “Hers to Hold” with Deanna Durbin and Joseph Cotton (Ah! Such a man!) and “Crime Doctor” with Warner Baxter at the Valencia. Letter from Danny saying she and Fred have made up. I’m so very glad! Nana came this evening.

SEPTEMBER 2 

So lazy! I drooped in bed reading and dreaming till it was well nigh noon and my guilty conscience forced me into a more active life. Once I was up I drooped some more and got out my “old faithful letters” to pore over again. They’re all so “cute” and ego-bolstering. Reading them over I can ignore the intervals between, and toss off the carburetor ones as unimportant. Such nice boys! Dad came out, still feeling rotton - and contemplating the date of his operation. Pat called - gave me a message from Bell that he’s rooting for me to go to Hamilton the 11th. Gee, I’d love it, but Mother and Dad are very uncooperative. I spose they’re right. We invaded Italy’s mainland!!

SEPTEMBER 3 

I’m beautified - or rather - attempts were made. At 9:00 a.m. Mother and I were down at Robert’s and my hair was going through the mechanisms necessary for a permanent. I was amazingly through in two hours - it looks fairly all right considering……….. Mother stopped at O.C.D. and then we had lunch at the Fish Grotto, And on home. This evening I went into the city up to Victor Chemical’s office to be shown around by Bugsie. We met Mr. Cotton, her boss and he gave us bourbon to sip. Stirred, we walked crosstown to Toffenetti’s where we met Ev for a crazy dinner. Such fun. Then a walk uptown to Radio City. We saw Cary Grant (Mmm!) in “Mr Lucky.” The stage show had no continuity but the Corps de Ballet act was super.

SEPTEMBER 4 

The beginning of the Labor Day weekend. It doesn’t seem possible - my, how the summer has flown by!! Today was completely uneventful and unexciting. I drooped in bed once more till just before time for Daddy to come out. He brought cake as usual. The rest of the afternoon was spent in listening to the Dodgers-Giant's game which the Dodgers won in the seventeenth inning. I pored through old diaries and really laughed at them. Admittedly I’m still rather dramatic and I do exaggerate - but - Gad when I was a Senior at St. Mary’s I really laid in on thick. Such gushing! I really ought to turn over a new leaf. I called Bugsie, Joanie and Pat Brennan.

SEPTEMBER 5 

I roused myself from my lethargy to be ready when Aud called for me to go to church and communion. The sermon was quite good: cooperation in order to have World Peace. I came home feeling real holy for a change. This afternoon Bugsie came by to laugh over old diaries with me and talk about things in general. Then she and I walked back to pick up Irene - and so a trek to Tildemann’s for gooey calorie-filled sundaes. Our conscience bothered us but we enjoyed them anyhoo and sat smoking and listening to the juke box discussing the Reader’s Digest statistical conclusion that after the war 7 out of every ten girls will be old maids. Cheerful prospect! Gee things are bad enough without thinking of that.

SEPTEMBER 6 

Happy Labor Day! and it was quite happy too, considering - this morning we revived the matter of this next weekend, which had been sort of lying dormant till then and Mom and Dad said I definitely couldn’t go up alone. There was little I could say and I spose I really see their point but I do want to go to Hamilton so very badly. We sit upon the idea of Bugsie’s going with me so I sent a special delivery to Bill and am keeping my fingers crossed till I hear. This evening after Dad left on the spur of the moment Mother & I hopped a bus and went to the Alden to see revivals of Clark Gable & Claudette Colbert's Academy Award Winner “It Happened One Night” and Ronald Colman in “Lost Horizon.” I wonder what my Shangri-La is!

SEPTEMBER 7

I slept late again, getting dressed time to meet Mrs. Brennan and Pats. We went into N.Y. to see “This is the Army” the Technicolor movie version of the army show. It really was terrifically good - the music, acting, vague plot to connect the two wars and color were all grand and I enjoyed it as much as, if not more, than any other picture in a long time. After the movie we went into Dempsey’s and sipped cocktails, and then they came home with us for dinner and to talk and reminisce and plan for awhile. They’re real nice people - I like 'em good inspite of everything. I heard from Dossie and Eddie Damm - also a sweet letter from Freddie enclosing a picture of the girl to whom he’s engaged for me too see!

SEPTEMBER 8

A nice day! I met Lou at Roosevelt Avenue just before twelve and then on to New York to mosey around Lord & Taylor’s trying to get decorative ideas for improving the KΔ house but things were too extreme for our collegiate ways! Then we went to the Gypsy Tea Room for lunch and to have our fortunes told - very interesting! After that we went to the Ambassador theater and saw “Blossom Time” - music costumes and acting were swell - good show about Schubert’s life and music. I met Mother and Dad at Dempsey’s for dinner and sat at the table next Jack and his two children. After that - back to the H.G.C. meeting at Jeannettes for gab - nothing exciting. Italy unconditionally surrendered to the Allies. Best news since the war began! Is victory nearer? I’m so glad!!

SEPTEMBER 9

Today started off pretty well. Mother and I went into New York and bought me my beauty of a red three-piece suit (The pockets on the other had been cockeyed!) and a cute black hat too; so I glowed with it all. We skirted the big Parade (opening 3rd War Bond Drive!), had a sandwich at the Milk Barn and then went to Robert’s where I had my hair shampooed and set (first since after the permanent!) We came home and Nana was here. Very bad news! Bill had tried to call me last night but I was out, as tonight he called again, and the result wasn’t too cheery. It seems there’s a convention in Clinton over the weekend and cause I hadn’t let him know sooner he couldn’t yet a room anyware. God I’m so disappointed. I’d wanted to go so badly. We talked for quite while and he seemed as disappointed as I. We haven’t really talked in so long, and it’d have been wonderful. Oh hell!

SEPTEMBER 10

I turned completely tragically dramatic and sobbed all last night so that this morning my eyes are just slits. I hadn’t really cried in ages and splurted forth all I’d saved up. Silly, but I really cleaned out my nasal passages! Mom decided to pacify me with a program of activity so we went into New York for a Chinese Lunch at the China Clipper and then went to the Roxy to see “Heaven Can Wait” with Don Ameche and Gene Tierney - very amusing and I liked it good. We went to Saks for a pair of jodphur pants - and then to Dr. Weiss for the usual. We met Dad at the Boar’s Head on Lexington Avenue and our mouths watered over good soft shell crabs. Glory came over late in the evening, and spent the night. We talked n’ talked - slept together in the double bed and were real restless.

SEPTEMBER 11

An active day! Fairly early, Bugsie and I dressed in our riding togs, and after meeting Cam, Aud and Irene we trekked to 188th St. and hopped on horses. At least the rest hopped but not having gone in over two years, I was more or less shoved on by an innocently obliging bystander. Once we started posting and cantering through Cunningham Park however it was wonderful and the ride a beautiful one. Irene fell off to lend excitement. We went back to Glory’s for lunch and chatted awhile; then, this evening rather unexpectedly, Glory, Aud, Irene, Cam, Edith and Jean all came in, and we howled hysterically over old diaries of Aud & Irene revealing their “supreme thrills” of grammar and high school days. Jean’s baby’ll arrive the end of February supposedly - it doesn’t seem possible. Anyhoo, the evening was fun!

SEPTEMBER 12

Limping and nursing sore aching muscles, Aud and I practically dragged ourselves to St. Gabe’s this morning and squirmed on the comparatively hard wooden seats. Mr. Condit is back for his first service of the new year and is really a marvelous rector. Mr. Judd has accepted an offer at Christ Church outside of Philadelphia, and will leave St. Gabe’s the end of this month. After church we stopped at Glory’s for a few moments and then home. Mother, Dad and I to celebrate the lifting of the pleasure driving ban, drove to the Triangle restaurant for a good dinner - and then home again! The Germans have occupied Rome and Italy and Germany are now fighting - the quirks of alliances of warfare. Our forces are fighting too and Italy’s surrender isn’t as optimistic as first thought.

SEPTEMBER 13

Yesterday morning’s muscle weariness was eased by a lovely mail today. I heard from Bill Boyd - back from maneuvers and writing again at last. He's still waiting for his transfer orders to the Air Corps, and wrote a long perkish letter while waiting. Then - Floyd - till in San Francisco - wrote a wonderfully philosophic gem expressing his emotions on going overseas. It was really good! This afternoon Mother and I went to the Valencia to see Merle Oberon and Brian Aherne in First Comes Courage (the usual spies-and-commandos-in-Norway stuff) and Donald O’Connor in Mr. Big - a cute jitterbug job. Tonight, Glory, Aud and I went bowling and had a stupid old time again. I bowled 78 - an improvement over last time - but not too good! I blame it on my muscles.

SEPTEMBER 14

This morning was dedicated to a series of “friendly discussions” before I went into the city to meet Cary, back from her two week’s jaunt in Kentucky, Annapolis, Washington, etc. We talked a blue streak to catch up on what had passed in the meantime. Two friends of hers were there from Annapolis. We had a sandwich next door; they left and we spent the afternoon trying to pick up Cary’s bags at Penn Station. I met Mother and Dad at the China Clipper for dinner and talking and so on home. Confusion! I got a special from Bill Brennan enclosing another letter he’d sent me -- addressed correctly -- but which had been returned to me. If I’d gotten that letter in time, the room situation could have been cleared up and I might have gone to Hamilton. Damn the post office!

SEPTEMBER 15

An emotional day! It was cloudy, so we couldn’t go on our boat trip as planned. Instead Mother, Louise and I went to the music Hall to see “So Proudly We Hail,” the epic of the bravery of the army nurses on Bataan and Corregidor. It was powerful! The stage show Minstrel Days was quite good too, though different from the usual Radio City ones. Louise and I met Cary on 29th Street at 4:30 went to the Little Church Around the Corner to see Marty and Tommy, married. We stood and beamed and felt quite parental as we shook our heads, saying it doesn’t seem possible! though we knew they’d really been planning it for ages. They’re both swell. Lou and I came home on the 5th Avenue bus to Jackson Heights. Tonight Mother & I went over to Thompsons to see Jack & Margie. They’re going to Eustis!

SEPTEMBER 16

I should have left for Billsburg today but am extremely grateful for the extra week at home. Excitement came this morning when the radiator leaking from my john made the downstairs hall look as though it had been blitzed. What a mess! This afternoon mother and I went over to Jersey, stopping at Aunt Bert’s and then at Aunt Fan’s. I saw Ruth’s two-year old baby Gail and loved her immediately. She’s a darling! The afternoon was pleasant - tending towards the crazy. We then went over to Brooklyn and met Dad for dinner at the St. George, and so home in the downpour. Nana was here. After awhile I went to bed and dove into the new Good Housekeeping.

SEPTEMBER 17 

Once again we’d planned on going 'round Manhattan Island in a boat, but once again it kept raining instead. So I went into Brooklyn (riding on the train with Mrs. Ingold) and met Dad for lunch. It was the first “date” we’d had in ages so we kind o’ talked as I munched on my shrimp curry. We hopped a subway and went back to the office for awhile, stopping to buy stockings on the way, and I generally messed up his business day. It was fun and executivish though! This evening I went over to Glory’s and peeked at the preparations for the shower she gave for Doris De Brodt Deane; and then Mother, Lizzie and I went to see “The Student Prince” starring Everett Marshall. It was very good - another of the epidemic of operetta revivals!

SEPTEMBER 18

“London bridges falling down….. Falling down…..!” Where we had Niagara Falls in the downstairs hall, the plasters are today pulling the whole darned business down, till the ceiling lies in chunks on the floor and dust from it floats throughout the house choking us off as we try to breathe. Ah! for the well-ordered peace of a boiler factory! This morning Mother and I went to Jamacia to buy last minute powder puffs, toothbrushes and emory boards, and pick up a pair of moccassins and a pair of black non rationed shoes, which I treasure as a good bargain. We were s’posed to go to Connie Korn’s wedding today, but being the last weekend home and all, we didn’t, so I thought hard about her instead. And so have two KΔs bit the dust in the same week!

SEPTEMBER 19

The last Sunday at home! Aud and I went to St. Gabe’s where Rev. Condit preached with a voice which kept failing him on account of a cold - the service was usual We had roast lamb for dinner and then discussed the pros and cons of driving down to Billsburg with Marjorie Thompson since Jack needs the car at Eustis. It would be exciting to take a long auto trip legally in gas ration days but it might be complicated too. I think we’ll do it though! Afterwards, Glory and Aud came over and we trekked to Tiedeman’s for sodas; rehashing the problem of “So Little Time - and so much to do - and so many friends to want to be with.” Dad should have gone into the Waldorf for a convention (W.S.J.A.) but stayed here instead. - I wrote Danny, Colby, Bill & Bill.

SEPTEMBER 20

A lovely mail, being as how I heard from Bill Boyd (enclosing a cut cartoon from Yank, the army newspaper) whose transfer orders have come through, but who doesn’t know where he’ll be sent yet! Then too, I got another real nice letter from Bill Hughes - still in Australia! This morning, I went to the dentist for a checkup and for the first time in really ages, I have no cavities. My teeth have passed the adolescent stage! Then I moseyed around Jamaica, after which I came home and baked cookies (sending most of the better ones to Bill Brennan) Cary came out this afternoon and to spend the night - Glory and Aud came for dinner too (steak - how dreamy!) We hysterically played bridge, being interrupted by a blackout and then all walked Audrey home.

SEPTEMBER 21

Such a beautiful day! I woke early to keep my 9:00 a.m. dentist appointment and had my teeth cleaned till they sparkle. I hopped into riding clothes - saw Cary on her bus - and met Joanie for a wonderful ride in Cunningham Park. Peter Pan cantered like a streak of greased lightning and we flew along. It was really swell! Joanie treated me to a coke too and after awhile came over to the house to buy me a War Bond. (I’m crazy - I mean “sell” me a War Bond!) so I backed the attack! Mother and I went to Robert’s where I had my hair set for the final time, and then came home waiting for Nana’s arrival. Dad’s still at the convention. Surprise! Bill Brennan sent me 16 American Beauty roses with a really perky card enclosed. Gosh I’m so very thrilled!

SEPTEMBER 22

Being my last day at home, it was a busy-beaverish one. When I awoke, I wrote Bill Hughes and a perkish thank you note to Bill Brennan - also answered the letter which came from Corporal Eddie Damm. After that we packed suitcases and then drove over to take my ticket to Louise, stopping for a lengthy chat. We ate a Chinese lunch at a restaurant by the Queens Bors Hall, and then went to Jamacia and bought several pairs of pants and a pair of pajamas. Dad came out early and told us of his troubles a la business world. He’s really doing the job of three or four men plus the Post War Planning and National Bond, etc committee stuff he has to do. I went to a H.G.C. meeting and said “Goodbye” to all the girls.

SEPTEMBER 23

The official end to the summer and a real wonderful one it was too. Mother, Marjorie (both of her), Cary and I sent ourselves down in the ’41 Packard snuggled in with suitcases, boxes and the like. It was blissful to ride in a car after the years of gas rationing. We stopped on the road and ate a picnic lunch, which Aunt Bert had made. Most all the way, Cary and I burst forth into song and the time passed quickly. We reached Billsburg at 8:00 and had dinner at the Lodge - then, real excited - we came back to the house and saw everybody. Doggone, I do love it so good! It’s super being with all the gals - specially Beth and Punchy! So very much fun! A stupendously perky letter from Bill Boyd

SEPTEMBER 24

We slept and talked in bed still after ten really catching up on the news of each other’s summers. This morning Beth, Punchy and I went downtown to buy grapefruit juice for improvised breakfasts of the future and to look into the bank account and cafeteria book situation! I met Mother and Marjorie for lunch and spent the evening with them too. I wrote postcards and read Life and the Saturday Evening Post. I met Chuck Gondak and talked familiarly with him for quite awhile. He wants Punchy and me to work for the telephone co again this year at the U.S.O. It’d have been fun but we’ve got too much else to do. Fun tonight in the room!

SEPTEMBER 25

A busyish day! This morning I tiptoed around not to wake the fair roommates as I dressed for my 8:20 appointment with advisor, Dr. Marsh. Surprisingly I had no conflicts and am now officially taking Money & Banking, Statistics, Accounting, Marketing Principles & Problems, Introduction to Business Enterprise and General Psychology plus gym of course. It sounds kind o' stiff but after all, I’ve come to college, essentially to exercise my gray matter. I spent the morning with Muggy Pratt and trying in vain to locate my trunk - I still have no shoes - and ate with Beth & Punchy at the dining hall - this evening I went to the Lodge with Mother and had dinner. Hell! Wouldn’t you know! Bill Hughes wrote me from Boston - he wanted to come see me in New York this weekend. Two days too late!!

SEPTEMBER 26

Sunday, and a busy one too! This morning we trekked over to Chandler and picked up our little sisters to take them to Bruton - mine, Gin Tunstall, is darling! After the service, we went to the dining hall for the traditional southern fried chicken and ice cream - and then back to the house to prepare for the influx of freshman girls making a tour of the sorority house. The same things were said over and over again - with slight variations of course, and our jaws aching from smiling sweetly as we said them and as we listened. It was fun, in a boring sort of way. Beth, Punchy and I went to the Lodge to meet Mother for dinner. We laughed a lot and were most unsophisticated.

SEPTEMBER 27

School bells chimed again and I am officially a Junior - it’s so impressive being respected for a change! I only had three classes. Dr. Foltin stood us up for Psych and after standing around in the hall for awhile we left for the Wigwam to buy books. I became nasty when I discovered I had to pay $24 for beatup secondhand books too. Marketing sounds fascinating - full of merchandising and advertising, the sort of stuff I want. Rhythms only lasted five minutes, which was a lovely sort of gym class. Mother came to the house this afternoon and offered ideas on redecorating our room. It sounds dreamy! May they materialize! There was a W.S.C.G.A meeting tonight with the usual welcomes & news about a German Club dance for the A.S.J.U. boys. House meeting afterwards and then bull sessions about rushing and sex

SEPTEMBER 28

Right about now we’re in a mad dash of enthusiasm - we’re all out for studies, all out for extracurricular stuff, and all out for improving the house, and KΔ in general. Such a busy little year as it’s gonna be! Money and Banking, Business Enterprise, Statistics and Accounting all involve scads of work and I groan under the weight of it. Oh, for just one snap course - it’d be so refreshing! Mother, Holly Miller and I had dinner together at the Lodge and then I went to the Flat Hat Business Staff meeting. We were assigned ads to get so I will merrily trek around town having people sign contracts and pay money - I hope! We get commissions too. Sorority meeting, though informal, was inspiring in its plans. I hope the spirit lasts! Letter from Edith and Evie

SEPTEMBER 29

A busy day, with classes from nine till 4:30P.M. with time out to see Mother off on the morning train. It seems odd not to have her around anymore. Classes were still interesting except for Statistics lab which really is a stinker. If it weren’t required for my major, I’d gladly toy with the idea of dropping it, but grin 'n' bear it, say I. At 5:00 Beth, Punchy, Lou and I went to a Social Committee meeting for the War Work at college, where plans were made for various affairs to be given for the chaplains, their assistants, etc. After a cone at the Wigwam we watched the review of the A.S.J.U boys out on the football field. It was impressive - a far cry from the football rallies of a year ago. This evening, Midge and I went to chapel at which Dr. Foltin spoke and then I came home, washed my hair, did homework and went to a house meeting.

SEPTEMBER 30

Such a rainy day - I’ve never been so wet - honest! Life perked up though when Mr. Nuguist decided to make our introductory approach to statistics more simple and when I discovered that I like accounting a lot. We walked in the pouring rain to dinner across campus and were drenched to the skin. After our good vegetablish dinner we waded through the flooded paths with the wind blowing the rain in streams upon us to the Colonial Echo meeting - and got ourselves on the Editorial Staff. We were supposed to go to a Big-little sister party in Barrett but by then water was seeping through our rubber boots even and we gave ourselves alcohol rubdowns instead. A letter from Dossie and a card from Bill Boyd from Kansas City “en route to Mississippi”

[inky-tries-her-best]

Don’t do this: a PSA

 Hey, real talk here. I’m very memey, but I need to speak seriously for once. DON’T. DO.FRIEND.BREAKUPS.IN.A.BAD.WAY

It can hurt the other person a lot, even if it doesn’t hurt you.

If you wish to stop talking to somebody that has been your friend for a while, go up to them and say it to their face. Yes, they may be sadder than if you don’t at first, but in the long run it’s better.

If you calmly tell them you don’t wish to talk to them, they will eventually understand it. If you don’t, they may think it’s their fault, they may feel bad or guilty, they’ll feel worse for a longer time.

Until they reach out to another friend to feel better, or they learn they don’t need to feel bad and they DID nothing bad. OR UNTIL SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS

Not only speaking about suicide, I also include self-hate, low self esteem and others like depression. IN SHORT: YOU CAN SEVERLY HURT SOMEONE BY LEAVING THEM WITHOUT A WORD.

“/p>

I myself was victim of one of theese. I have mentioned it before, and I’m not scared to talk about it. I WILL NEVER BE ASHAMED of something that was not my fault. I had been friends with this group of friends for… 8 and a half years more or less.

I was the “leader of the group”. I helped them when they cried, stopped them from fighting with eatchother and such, gave them a hand with schoolwork…

A bit more than two years ago, my family moved. Not too far, a 15 minute car ride, easy right? THERE WAS EVEN A BUS AND A TRAIN that took from where they lived to where I lived. They almost cried when I told them I left the place where we took classes for another one where I now live. “we will visit you weekly” “we will call you” “Don’t leave please” they said. ALL LIES. I found myself in a rather bad social situation where I moved. I didn’t fit in with my new class. They acted almost opposite to me, we liked no things in common… They thought of me as “weird” in a bad, BAD way.

I, of course, was counting on the support of my friends to get through things.

But things went worse, a girl started stealing things of mine, drawings, and actual objects. She shitalked me behind my back, because I ACTUALLY INTIMIDATED HER IN PERSON. When she said something wrong about me or others, I’d look at her, and she’d do a fake apology and shut up. NOT BEHIND MY BACK, OF COURSE.

It was daily shittalk behind me. I felt horrible, and helpless. I needed my friends to support me. I’d message them to meet eatchother and their replies were always along the lines of “I’m busy” “I have something to do that day…” They never texted me first, they never checked on me even after I told them someone was shittalking me daily and I had like one only friend

BUt I’m certain they didn’t. They posted daily selfies with eatchother on instagram. They were hanging out with eatchother. I eventually clicked. I DIDN’T NEED THEM.

I was alredy talking with the girl who became my best friend today, who saw me “rebelling” against the shittalker and decided to do so as well.

I dropped my old friends and started to see my current one more often.

Then the old ones started calling me, missed calls, messages. But I decided that I had enough. They stopped talking to me when I needed them most and I had always been there when THEY needed me.

They were out of my life from that point on and I haven’t seen theme since. And things only got better. My friend and I are way better now, we haven’t seen Shittalker in forever and we probably never do it again. I’m pretty happy with how things have ended up. But I went through so much because of a bad friendbreakup.

I only have two things left to say: -If you are going to not be friends anymore with someone do it right -If a friend has started to not say anything to you, is making you feel bad, and you have alredy tried to save your friendship with no result. I consider them a toxic person. PLEASE DO CUT TOXIC PEOPLE OUT OF YOUR LIFE. It hurts but it gets better, I’ve been there.

Much love and thanks for reading till the end

I’ve written this hugeass textpost because X has reminded me of how I felt back then, and I don’t want anyone else to feel like that.

This is all I can do for now.

[nominalbutler]

Chapter 3 of “The Windup” now posted

Hey all I finally got all of the modern bar AU uploaded to AO3. You can find the link to the whole thing here including chapter 3. I’ve gone ahead and posted the third chapter under the cut here too if you just want to read that. Like I promised, there’s a tiny bit of smut for yall. Hopefully there will be more in the future because I know that’s what everyone is here for. Anyways, thanks for reading! 

That night, Sebastian dreamed about fucking Ciel.

He didn't consciously intend to, that wasn't what he was thinking about as he drifted off to sleep, but he found himself trapped, forced to watch and enjoy the dream as it unfolded before him in his unconscious theatre.

They weren't at his house, or any other place he recognized. It was a big, open loft with high ceilings and floor-length windows on one wall that Sebastian couldn't see out of. All white carpets and furniture with dark rosewood accents. A mattress, twice the size of Sebastian's California king at home, situated right under the floor-to-ceiling windows, bathed in soft light. He and Ciel rolled endlessly across the surface of the bed, Sebastian pinning Ciel's small frame, then Ciel mounted atop him, straddling him, and then back again; rubbing, touching, feeling, tasting, biting, kissing.

Suddenly he had Ciel in his lap, naked, arms pinned behind his back, facing away from him, looking out the window. Ciel was moaning, crying as Sebastian pulled him down onto his cock. He trembled with every inch, whining and squirming, but when he looked back over his shoulder at him with an incredibly sultry look, Sebastian could tell, he could feel how much Ciel liked it.

Ciel took him in beautifully; it felt so right, so real. He had him every which way, spreading his legs wider than he assumed physically possible for the small boy. Most of the torrid encounter was lost in his journey back to consciousness in the morning, but when he awoke, Sebastian could vividly remember the way he fucked him from behind -- primitive, desperate, rough with hands on hips to pull him closer and deeper and deliver a satisfying smack to Ciel's perfectly shaped ass when he felt it was warranted. Which was often. He pictured the red tinge on his fair skin and how it looked painted in thin stripes of white.

Sebastian woke up incredibly hard, body tingling all over with an insatiable arousal. He didn't feel like this often, and he had to do something about it. He reached back, digging through his mind to find fragments of the dream he could rewind and savor: the perceived weight of Ciel on top of him, the imagined softness of his skin and his lips, the way he thought his voice would sound as he fucked him senseless into the giant mattress. Sebastian licked his palm, spat into it, pretended it wasn't just his own hand he was fucking as he jerked himself off to the images in his head. He didn't care how he sweat and even drooled a little onto his pillow, didn't care when he came on himself and his blankets with a rough gravely moan and a curse. The inconvenience of doing laundry was nothing compared to the pleasurable height Sebastian had just achieved, the long-withheld orgasm making him shiver long after he'd finished, all thanks to the filthy and utterly inappropriate thoughts about his coworker he had conjured up. With a clean hand, he checked the time on his phone and begrudgingly rolled out of bed, peeling off the remainder of his clothes as he headed into the bathroom for a shower.

When Sebastian was first waking up, warm and languid and aroused, a hand creeping south towards the waistband of his sweats, Ciel had been awake for an hour, staring at the ceiling of his old room in his parent's house and feigning sleep when his mother knocked and brought him breakfast in bed. French toast -- his favorite. Except he couldn't muster up enough of an appetite to eat more than two bites. He forced down the glass of milk and before heading downstairs he slipped into his bathroom and flushed the remainder of the syrupy meal down the toilet. He kicked the clothes on the floor out of the way with a frown as he left his room. They were the ones he had been wearing the night of his accident, stained with spatters of blood and crusty with dried vomit -- he must have thrown up on himself on the way to the hospital.

The accident hadn't been serious. Stalled at a red light, Ciel had been unable to maneuver out of the way as someone turning through the intersection hit a patch of ice and spun out, ramming into his car as it slid across the road. The late-model Ford Thunderbird he had been driving was like a tank around him. The heavy body of the car did surprisingly well absorbing the force of the SUV as it careened into him, sending his head crashing first against the steering wheel and then into the side window as a handful of shattered glass rained down around him.

He probably could have been taken to the urgent care clinic and been just fine. But his aunt, once she got a call from Rachel, had insisted he be brought to the hospital where she worked to be checked out. Trauma medicine was not her area of expertise, but Doctor Angelina Dalles slithered away from her floor of cardiac arrests and transplants to check in on her favorite little nephew Ciel in the ER.

She examined him from head to toe and pointed out a nasty concussion, a sprained elbow, several damaged ribs, and a myocardial contusion. As his aunt closed up his cuts with sticky liquid sutures, Ciel was hooked up to an EKG to monitor his heart. The results must have been normal, because a few hours later his aunt said he was free to go, so long as he stayed with his parents the first two nights. It was fine to sleep with a concussion, Ciel just needed someone to wake him up every few hours and check his cognition, making sure he hadn't started bleeding into his brain or anything else serious.

It was markedly better than a hospital, but Ciel hated staying with his parents. It was the house he grew up in, but ever since he moved out, it felt completely foreign to him, as if he were merely a visitor. It was too big, too clean and too poised, like Rachel and Vincent were waiting for a Home & Garden photographer to come through and take pictures. Plus, they wouldn't let Ciel smoke there. If he wanted a cigarette, he had to sneak it, like he did in high school. He hadn't had a cigarette since before his accident, and he was craving the taste of nicotine like no other. He had to get out.

"Hey dad," Ciel rinsed off his plate in the sink and slid it into the dishwasher before taking a seat beside his father at the breakfast nook, "can you give me a ride home today?" It would be at least a week before Ciel was driving again, his car currently hospitalized at the auto repair shop his father frequented.

Vincent nodded, swallowing down the rest of his coffee. "Let me call An, make sure you're okay to be on your own."

Ciel flipped absentmindedly through the newspaper on the table as his father made the unecessary call. He returned a few minutes later, his face impassive, as usual. Aunt An had given the all-clear, not surprised at all that her nephew was already wanting to be free. He delivered her warnings to take it easy: no intense physical activity, no smoking, make sure to take deep breaths and cough every now and again to prevent a chest infection.

"Do you want to go now?" Vincent asked as he cleaned up his place at the table. Ciel nodded. "Okay. Get your stuff, say goodbye to your mother."

Rachel was reluctant to let Ciel go back so soon. She kissed his forehead and his cheek, hugging him four different times, careful not to disrupt his injured ribs or arm. "You call me if you need anything, okay? Anything. I can be there in seven minutes."

"Okay, mom," Ciel said, "I will." He probably wouldn't. He climbed into the passenger seat of his dad's Mercedes, his dirty clothes bundled in a plastic bag at his feet, and buckled in, rubbing his chest where the seatbelt had dug into his skin when his car was hit.

His father drove him across town, a ride that took much more than seven minutes to complete. The two remained silent the whole time, but as they neared Ciel's little apartment complex, Vincent cleared his throat and spoke.

"Will you be needing a ride to work today or tomorrow?"

"Um...." In all honesty, Ciel had completely forgotten about his serving job at The Windup. He struggled to pull his phone out of the front pocket of his jeans so he could check the most recent schedule -- he was supposed to help close tonight. Upon closer inspection, Ciel noticed that Sebastian and Finny had the night off. He was pondering whether or not to call one of them and ask if they would mind taking his shift that night when his dad spoke again.

"I'd really rather not call Grell to cover for you again... That man is a little too much for me, personally."

"Dad, you gotta get better at this. You know Grell uses female pronouns," Ciel said. Regardless, he could understand what his father was saying -- Grell was a little too high-energy for his liking as well. "Whatever, I'll figure something out," he continued. "I can always take a bus there, but I'm I'll let you know if I need a ride home, okay?"

"Okay," Vincent said, pulling into a spot near Ciel's unit. "Just call me before ten and let me know. And just like your mom said, I'm only a few minutes away if you need anything. Don't hesitate to call me, okay, Ciel?"

"Okay, dad. Thanks."

"See you later."

Ciel awkwardly climbed out of his dad's car and waved goodbye, elated to be back at home. The thought of staying another night in the hospital, or at his parents' house, was nerve-wracking, and he could not have been more relieved to hear that he would be fine to stay by himself. He much preferred his tiny one-bedroom apartment, with its scuffed linoleum floor in the kitchen, the squeaky faucets, the doors that stuck in the jam during the summer when the humidity made the wood expand. It was cozy, lived-in. He had already started missing his little porch, the best part of the dingy apartment. Wood old and mottled with lichens, it was his favorite spot to have a cigarette and watch the people and the cars drive by on the street below.

He unlocked the door and made his way into the living room, dropping his clothes on the floor as he collapsed on the couch. A sharp pain struck him in the chest and he winced and cursed as he flopped heavily into the cushions. Sighing, he dug his phone out and scrolled through his contacts, looking for Finny's number so he could call him about covering his shift. His coworker didn't answer, and Ciel decided not to leave a voicemail. He sent a text instead, and as he waited for a reply, he made the decision to ignore his aunt and stepped outside for his first cigarette in what felt like a week. With a blanket tucked up under his chin, Ciel settled himself on the singular folding chair in the corner, blowing on his fingers to keep them warm.

As he made his way down to the speckled filter, blowing gray smoke into the equally gray sky, his phone vibrated in his lap. Unfortunately for Ciel, though wonderful for Finny, the strawberry blond man had a date that night -- he couldn't cover for Ciel. With a smile, Ciel typed out a reply, telling Finny it was all okay and wishing him good luck on his date. As an afterthought, he asked him if he had Sebastian's number -- it was his only other option.

Ciel remembered last week when the older bartender had let him borrow his coat to go outside and smoke. It was a nice gesture, but that was the only thing Sebastian had ever done for him aside from hold a door or carry some dishes for him. He wasn't rude by any means, but he certainly wasn't the most effusive or amiable employee. He was always somehow distant, detached from the flow of the bar. Ciel wondered if he would be willing to help him out, especially on such short notice. He really didn't feel like working, but Ciel would power through if he no choice.

Finny sent him Sebastian's information, and Ciel wound up lighting another cigarette as he dialed and held the phone up to his hear. He nervously sucked down smoke as the phone rang and rang and rang, and he was about to give up and resign himself to working the miserable shift when there was a sudden click, and a low smooth voice was speaking through the receiver.

"Hello, this is Sebastian."

Something about the voice over the phone gave Ciel a chill, but he blamed it on the cold breeze as he exhaled his mouth of smoke and replied, "Hey, Sebastian." He swallowed, suddenly very nervous. "It's, uh -- it's Ciel."

[actionfigurebullshit]

I Spent All Day Working On This - New Collaborations and Documentation

Hours of a Saturday spent trying to adhere to a nebulous and completely imagined aesthetic, for a scene for a video which probably won’t be on screen for more than two seconds... and it’s still not quite right! Maybe it was this illustration which made me decide I needed to blog about this new project of mine.

I spoke to an old acquaintance of mine about Jane’s death a couple weeks ago. I stated that I wasn’t sure I’d be making videos anymore in light of the fact so much of what I’ve done over the past several years, as far as video making goes, was supporting Jane’s projects, which unlike my own, were actually produced and finished.

This acquaintance has known about my film making interest since I was a teenager- maybe he didn’t like the idea of me giving it up, or maybe he simply saw an opportunity for his creative outlet and my own to cross paths. He has a band, and wanted me to select one of their songs to use in a music video. Ultimately, he chose this one for me, and I was unsure about it at first because the idea I dreamed up would have been outside of my scope of illustration and animation skills- think of the gruesomeness of Garbage Pail Kids, but animated, organs pulsating, twitching, spurting. Eventually, I started thinking about 8 bit viscera- NES games like Lifeforce where so many levels feature “organic” themes to it

What I ended up envisioning was the suggestion of a NES style video game, which explains the wildly inexplicable events that take place in the video. Imagine a Dr. Mario style playing field, except the “jar” is a stomach, and the “pills” are candy, now throw in some Arkanoid style brick breaking, side scrolling space shooting, and worlds that look like something from Sim City, Final Fantasy IV, and the Game Over screens from Tetris, depending on your height off the ground, and you get... this.

I want to treat this new collaboration like an audition, so I want to aim high, work hard, and stay positive. That being said, it can be very daunting. Like Action Figure Bullshit, I can’t help but think to myself “I can’t do this!” and “What the hell am I doing!? I’m heading straight for disaster!”. Those thoughts are distracting, but it’s nice to have somewhere to vent. In the AFB notebook, many pages had some variant of “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing!” written in the margins. Since I want to extend that positivity to my new notebook devoted to this project, I’ll have to dump the negativity somewhere else... why not here?

It seems strange for me to start writing about making a music video when this is supposed to be a blog for my action figure bullshit... project..., but there’s actually quite a bit of overlap, if not in content, then in execution. Like I said, I have a notebook for this project. By coincidence, it has a black cover, too. To be cute, I could say it’s black like VHS tape... I might go with that, too, especially since I have an unofficial, sort of subconscious color coding system with these ordinary 70 sheet spiral notebooks. Colors such as Green, Purple, and Blue are reserved for other productions, for instance... and if only I could find a School Bus Yellow-Orange notebook again...

So, it’s the same thing as with AFB. I have scenes in my head that go along with the imagery. Even if I feel like “it’s too much” to animate or similarly outside of my range of abilities and resources, I still write it out and draw it out. I find that video production- at least from my perspective of someone who does it as a hobby and uses old and/or shitty programs to do it, the journey through the project is likely more significant than the finished result, meaning that a big reason I feel like I can’t do something is because I can’t see the end point, but I can’t see the end point because it hasn’t been defined yet. How many times does an idea morph along the way, with each new day, each new page, each new second of video? I can’t see the end result because all the in between steps haven’t been put in place yet.

Or to put it another way, I try to replace “I can’t do this.” with “I can’t do this yet.”, which satisfies that need inside of me to be negative and put myself down, but also puts in a qualifier that makes this doubt both okay and filed away so I can continue to forge ahead. So far, I’ve head to hit any significant block. If there’s a challenge to an idea or scene, a solution is never too far away.

Did you see that word, CHALLENGE? It’s another one of those things you might read in a self help book- struggles should be seen as challenges to overcome, puzzles to solve, not obstacles to avoid, sign posts telling you to turn back.

So here’s what’s going on:

I have a song, which I’ll call “Track #4″. It’s about 150 seconds long (and I say this instead of 2 minutes, 30 seconds for a reason), with maybe an additional 30 seconds of footage to bookend the music. Those bookends are well defined and could be filmed today (they’re the only live action bits in the video so far). As for the main part with the music, over a third of that, 56 seconds, has virtually every single second illustrated and described in a loose storyboard kind of format. The rest is in my head, but still needs to be documented. I’m a big believer in the “write it out” idea- these notebooks have helped me take that to an admittedly eccentric level, but I have success with it, and fun, too! Isn’t that weird? That there would be, not only fun, but a feeling like the notebook is as much a part of the project as the video.

Once I’m done drawing out every scene for this fever dream, I’ll then move on to what I guess you could call “sprites” because so much of this, I want to look like something in the vein of Parodius, Dr. Mario, all those trippy-ass games which I have so much nostalgia for. Actually animating this is a scary idea, because I feel like it will be a failure on my part if I don’t get the 8 bit aesthetic down. It’s not a requirement, and “The Journey” through this project could lead me to an acceptable alternative-- I shouldn’t get ahead of myself, though. This is what can trip me up. I’m worrying about how to animate little candies and blood vessels and Moai heads when my focus should be on documenting what I imagine for the video, let the rest come later!

Still, sometimes creativity strikes in such a way, you can’t help but work on a part that’s further down the road, possibly down a road you’ll never travel- such as this screen, but that’s part of the bookend, which is so separated from the rest of the video, it’s almost like a different video, like a framing device, and one that’s a lot less complicated than the main course.

One final thing- and one which gives more reason to blog about this on the AFB blog- I might use AFB characters in one particular scene.

Picture the game over screen from TETRIS, specifically the “B-Type” game. Clear 25 lines on Level 9, Height 5, and you see various NES characters on a multi-tiered platform celebrating your victory. Now picture this as a building that’s not too far away from the “action” of the video, and these characters are looking on... when suddenly, an Arkanoid type capsule (similar, but legally distinct! Actually, it would look more like the paddle from Alleyway) appears and abducts some of the characters and takes them on a wild ride into this weird semi-organic machine with a terrible sweet tooth.

Those characters: Greta, Trent, and Douglas. I’d love to have a little nod to AFB, and I’d love to animate some “bridge lurch” if they come under attack from something. We’ll see.

If I keep blogging about this video, I’ll go into more details, such as why looking at the video in terms of a pile of seconds is extremely important.

[charllieeldridge]

Our New Website: An In-Depth Progress Report After 2 Months

It has been quite a while since I’ve written a post on Goats On The Road. It’s not because I stopped loving this site. This amazing blog and the community that comes with it will always be my pride and joy.

But I’ve started another website and today, I thought I’d share a bit about it. 

It’s pretty much brand new, at just two months old, but it’s already seeing some incredible successes.

In this post, I’m going to share with you why I decided to start another website, how I’ve managed to grow the site so quickly, how much it’s earning, and what my goals are with the site in the future.

Why Did I Start Another Website?

When we started this Goats On The Road travel blog, we had no idea what we were doing. It was way back in March (March 10th to be exact) of 2012.

Dariece and I were travelling around the Philippines and trying to work on the blog in between beach beers and long bus rides.

One of the first photos taken of me “blogging” in El Nido, Philipines 2012

We never could’ve imagined that this blog would have done so well.

It’s afforded us business-class travel around the world, incredible all-expenses-paid trips in some luxurious destinations, and more incredible experiences than I can remember.

All of this was without knowing anything about blogging when we started.

This blog did so well in fact, that we didn’t bother starting another website or working on other projects.

Why would we?

We hardly ever worked more than 10 hours per week, the site was earning more than we ever would’ve made at our full-time jobs in Canada, we were getting free travel, living a crazy exciting lifestyle, and we saw no way that any of this could stop.

But then the world changed.

Suddenly a pandemic swept the globe and people’s idea of travel changed overnight. Nobody was searching “where to stay in Rome”, instead they were searching “how to cancel my trip to Rome”.

How quickly things can change…

This had a direct impact on this blog, its earnings and its ability to continue functioning as it was.

Luckily for Goats, we have an amazing community with this blog.

The people who follow this blog aren’t just travellers. They’re also digital nomads looking to work remotely, find side hustles, research cool travel jobs, and earn money online by doing things like teaching English online and starting blogs.

As a result of our varied audience, while our travel traffic plummeted, our remote work traffic began to grow.

When people are at home, one of the first things they think of is new projects they can take on.

This means that Goats On The Road, while definitely affected by the pandemic, is doing just fine. 

But still, the sudden shift in the global travel landscape was a wakeup call for us.

Yes, we’re very happy to say that we’ve diversified our blog income streams and we don’t just earn money from ads, or solely from travel referrals, press campaigns, or hotel stays. But having just one website isn’t diversified enough. We needed to do more.

So out of the chaos that was COVID in early 2020, I decided to start another website and on March 20th, my new site was born. Exactly 8 years and 10 days after we started Goats On The Road.

Working in our living room office in Grenada with a random cat who showed up. We named him Marvin.

In just 2 months I’ve been able to grow it to a DA 21 (more on that later), it already gets Google traffic, it is starting to rank for some of my targeted keywords, I’ve had clicks on my affiliate links, I was offered my first press campaign, and it’s growing very quickly.

We have a lot of bloggers who read this blog and a lot of people who have always wanted to start their own websites but have never got around to it.

So I figured this was a good opportunity to share with you the struggles and successes that come with building a new website and online business from scratch.

Read More: Why We Started a New Website During Lockdown

Why is it my Website?

Well, because Dariece and I share everything, nothing is just mine of course

But this site is my new side project.

Dariece has been so amazing (and successful) in keeping Goats On The Road and our other travel site running so that I can work on this new passion project.

Because I’ve taken sole responsibility for its growth, and it’s something that I’m interested in, I’ve got into the habit of calling it mine.

I love building websites and I’ve built a lot of sites for other people over the years, but it was time that I started a new site from scratch.

What is The New Website?

It’s a secret. I know, that’s annoying, but hear me out.

I’m using this new website as a case study so that I can show the students in my Beginner Blogger Course and my Advanced SEO Course just how effective the tools and strategies in those courses are.

I’m using the exact steps I teach in those two courses to grow this site. Nothing more, nothing less.

I do want it to be authentic though so that if other people follow the exact steps, they’d have the exact same results.

Most people don’t have a blog like Goats On The Road with 400,000+ readers a month (pre-COVID), so if I was to share the website on this blog, it would immediately get a ton of traffic, ultimately skewing the stats on the new site.

So… I’m keeping it a secret.

But I will be revealing the website after 6 months of working on it, so if you want to be informed when the big reveal happens, be sure to subscribe to our newsletter.

What I can tell you is that the website is not in the travel space.

Some Big Early Wins

I’ve only had the website for 2 months at the time of writing this post, and already it’s doing quite well. When starting any new project, it’s the wins (big or small) that help to keep you motivated.

Here are some of the wins I’ve had since starting this new site.

It’s Reached DA 21

DA (Domain Authority) is a ranking from 1 to 100 and it ranks websites based on how good their SEO potential is.

For non-geeky, non-blogger types, this basically means that the higher the number, the more chance the site has of getting traffic from Google.

Working on my new website from lockdown in Lisbon

DA21 might not sound a lot on a scale of 1 to 100, but for a site that’s only 2 months old, this is incredible. In fact, the site reached that level on March 16th, just 7 weeks after I started it.

To give you a bit of comparison, it took us more than 2 years to get that far with Goats On The Road, and today, GOTR has a very solid DA54.

Large DAs like 90-100 are mostly reserved for huge global websites like Google, Facebook, and Amazon.

Domain Authority is by no means the be-all and end-all of a website’s success.

In fact, it has little bearing on how good a website is overall. But what this number tells me personally is that the site has a solid enough foundation to start gaining traffic and to start ranking in Google.

The Website Is Getting Traffic

I’ve been working really hard on building up the site (more on how I’m doing that later in this post), and I’m happy to see that my hard work is paying off.

Slowly, but surely, I’ve started to see traffic coming in from Google, from Pinterest and from some of the other referrals I’ve been building up.

It’s not a lot of traffic, but it tells me that the site is on a good trajectory to grow quickly over time.

At the time of writing, the site has 1,880 page views and 358 users over the past 30 days, which is very good for a site that’s only 2 months old.

The Website Is Starting To Rank

The word “rank” basically means that my website shows up in Google Results.

When I started the site, I choose some queries that I figured I wanted to write posts for, so that when people search those queries in Google, my site might show up.

If I show up in Google Search Results, then I have a better chance of getting traffic to the site.

Google accounts for around 90% of web traffic these days, so without Google, sadly, most web owners don’t have a business.

I was targeting around 100 potentially lucrative keywords and I’m happy to see that my site is starting to show up in search results for those terms and I’m starting to see traffic from Google. 

I’ve Published 45 Posts!

The site is only 65 days old and yet it has 45 posts, all of which are in-depth, useful, and around 1,500 – 3,500 words. This is not an easy task to do, but luckily, I’ve had help.

Blog Posting Schedule On The New Website

I’m going to talk a bit more about how I managed to get 45 epic posts published in 65 days later on in this article.

I’ve Been Featured On Some Big Websites In My Industry

One of the best things you can do to help a new site grow is to leverage the traffic and audience of more established websites.

I have spent hours reaching out to different companies in my niche and asking them if I can write for them, if they can interview me, if they can feature me and basically just doing everything I can to get my name out.

I’m happy to say that after just 2 months, I’ve been able to have some really valuable features, which has helped the overall authority of the website.

I’m A Social Influencer

I have a total of 90 followers on all of my social media accounts. Just imagine all of that influence!

These numbers are very small, but considering I’ve hardly posted on any of my social networks and I’m not focusing at all on social, this is a good sign. 

What I’m most happy about is the YouTube subscribers.

I have 21!

This is very few subscribers for sure, but YouTube subs are notoriously hard to gain and I already have a video on the channel with over 500 views. 

This is extremely difficult to do with a brand new channel, so I’m happy about the potential there. YouTube could be a good earning platform for this particular niche.

People Have Clicked On My Affiliate Links

Affiliate links are links that trackback to my website. If a reader clicks on one of those links and ends up purchasing on websites like Amazon or Expedia etc., then as the blogger who referred them, I would get a commission.

I’ve been tracking my affiliate links for this site and while I haven’t had any sales yet, in the past week or so I can see that people have started clicking my links.

This tells me that I’m getting traffic to my potentially lucrative posts, people are clicking the purchase links and I have a good chance of earning some money, once those posts get more traffic.

I’ve Received My First Press Campaign

When you have a website in a specific industry, whether it’s a sports website, a tech site or a travel site, there are always companies that are willing to partner with you in hopes that you share their product or service with your audience.

Dariece keeping our other websites going as I pursue my new passion project

Even though the site is brand new, I was able to work out a press partnership with a company in my industry worth €400.

I’m not getting paid anything for it, but I’m getting the use of those services for free, in exchange for sharing it on my blog and YouTube channel for that site.

It’s something I was already going to spend money on out of my own pocket, so now I can take that €400 and invest it back in the business instead.

The Website Has Value

When you build a site with a user-friendly design, build it to a DA21 and start getting some traffic coming in from Google and Pinterest, it has value.

Like when you buy land and then build a house on it, the overall value of that property goes up.

In this case, the land is the domain name (www.____.com), and the house is the website that I’ve built on top of it.

Some Examples Of Recent Websites For Sale On Flippa

As an example, we purchased the land for Goats On The Road in 2012, built the house on it over an 8 year period, and at its peak this property was likely worth around $1 million.

You can see that by investing very little in a website (it costs about $60 to get started), you can build something very valuable.

I had a look at Flippa, a website where people buy and sell blogs, and I checked what other DA21 websites with very little traffic are selling for in my specific industry. 

I saw that a lot of sites that are not even built up as much as mine have been selling for $2,000 – $5,000. 

I’m not planning on selling the website, but knowing that all my hard work and investments have already added value to my property is a great feeling.

What Are The Goals For This Website?

My goal with this site is to start earning an income from it, then scaling it and growing it to a full-on business.

I’m hoping to start earning around $500 / month after 6 months.

Will I make it there? At this point the site is earning $0 / month, so I can’t really say, but I hope so.

Once the site is earning $500 / month, it’s proof that the concept is working.

Blogging from a remote island in North Sulawesi, Indonesia

At that point, I would have enough monthly income to invest back into the business to scale its growth. I would hire more writers and an editor to take care of the site’s day-to-day operations.

Then all I would have to do is manage the marketing side of things and the site would basically be on autopilot, growing consistently month on month. 

Once Goats On The Road reached $500 / month, it more than tripled every year until it reached more than 60 times that.

I’m not saying that this new site has as much potential as Goats, but I would love to one day see it earning $5,000 or even $10,000 per month, at which point we would also have the option for a $120,000 – $360,000 exit.

How Exactly Am I Growing This Website?

The cool thing about what I’ve been doing with this new website is that I’m following exactly what I’ve been teaching people in the Goats On The Road WordPress Beginners Blogger Course and Complete SEO Course for years.

I wanted to use this website as an inspiration for the newest students in those courses, to show them that it is possible to grow an online business to earn money quickly.

I love this stuff. I love designing websites, I love writing blog posts and I love growing businesses. It’s exciting, challenging, and a lot of fun.

A blogging photoshoot in Grenada

I teach all of these steps in great detail in each of the courses, but here’s a basic rundown of how I grew this site to a DA21 and 1,800 page views per month in a little over 2 months.

Publishing A Lot of Valuable Content

As I said, I’ve published a lot of valuable content on the site. The reason I’ve been able to get 45 articles published (over 100,000 words total) in just over 2 months is that I’ve hired writers for this site.

I’ve also been writing blog posts for the site myself, but most have been done by my writers.

I hired 3 writers who are experts in the field. I thought I was an expert in the field, but these guys have worked in the industry for years, have trained others, and know a lot more than me, which has been very valuable.

I searched the writers from an online freelance writer database and it took me about 2 weeks to finalize all of the hires.

It took me that long because I really wanted the writers to be experts, and not just ghostwriters writing without any real experience.

I know what you’re probably thinking right now. 

“I don’t have the money to hire a bunch of writers for a new website, so how could I ever grow it like you did?”

I’m going to explain exactly why this isn’t as big of an advantage as it sounds, and why I think you could do even better than I’ve done later on in this post.

But either way, 45 posts in 2 months is a lot of work. I’ve edited every single one of them and even that has been a lot of work.

It’s important to note here that I’m not just publishing any old blog posts either. I’m following a proven set template of how to write great blog posts that people will enjoy reading and that Google will love.

It’s not difficult to do, I’m just following my own advice from my courses, but I’m not just allowing my writers to post whatever they want.

They are following my strict guidelines and post templates to give every single post the best possible chance of getting traffic, ranking in Google and going viral.

Internal Linking

I explain in great detail in my SEO Course exactly how you can build up a solid authority and user experience on a website by properly interlinking.

I call it my Pillar Web Strategy and it’s proven to work for me and my students time and time again.

I’ve literally linked every post (new and old) to other relevant posts on the site using this exact method and I think it’s a large part of the reason the site has been doing so well so early on.

By having internal links throughout the site structured in the correct way, I give people more of a chance to click on other things they’re interested in.

This increases dwell time (how long a user stays on the site), which is an important ranking factor in Google, and it also gives me more time to introduce my brand to my users and potentially convert them into subscribers.

Building A Solid Site Structure

There are a few vital things that a website needs to have a chance of success, and one of those is a solid site structure. 

When a user comes to my site, they immediately see the most important content on the site, and when they click to that content, they often have a landing page dedicated to that topic.

The site is mapped out in a way that makes browsing easy. Building a website in this way is imperative. It’s not difficult, you just have to know how to plan it out.

Guest Posting

This is as old as blogs themselves. To get traffic to a brand new site, you have to write blog posts for other, more established websites and then link back to your own site to try to drive some traffic and get some authority in the eyes of Google.

So many new bloggers completely skip this step and it’s the reason why you see so many websites out there that have been around for years but still have a low DA, aren’t ranking for any keywords, are hardly seeing any traffic and aren’t earning any money.

It took a long time to get Goats On The Road featured in all of these sites!

People think guest posting is old school, or that it doesn’t work. That’s not true.

By offering other bloggers awesome blog posts, you’ll be able to introduce yourself to their audience. I like to make my guest posts as informative and useful as possible, and then I link them back to relevant posts on my own site.

By doing this, not only do you get links to your site which are like valuable votes in the eyes of Google but more importantly, you get the opportunity to convert some of those web readers onto your own site.

Maybe some people read those posts on those other websites, click over to you and realize that they also enjoy what you have to say. 

Voila, you have new readers.

This is one of the main reasons that I hired writers for the site as well. I wanted to be able to focus my time on external marketing for this website, which includes guest posting.

I’ve written every guest post and collaboration that I’ve done with other bloggers in my niche, which is taking a considerable amount of time, but is worth it.

Collaborations

Certainly not nearly as effective as Guest Posting, a “collab” is basically a collaboration with a bunch of other bloggers.

To describe it simply, it’s when someone is writing a new post on their blog and they want some insight from other people in their niche.

Collaborating With Other Bloggers is Key

They put a notice in one of the many “Blogger Collab” groups on Facebook and then people contribute.

In exchange for writing a few hundred words for the blogger hosting the collab, you get a link to your own blog from their new blog post.

In exchange for the host blogger featuring you and many others, they hope that everyone involved will share it on your social media, and that there’s added credibility to the post by having many experts take part. 

Again, the goal of this is to get your name out there.

With the new site I’ve done a few collabs, but I’m trying to do more guest posts as I feel that they add more value to the end-user and I like my writing to not be diluted by a bunch of other bloggers.

I prefer that the reader understands right away that I’m writing the entire post. This helps to ensure they’ll click over to my site and potentially become my new subscriber.

Other Link Building

With the new site, I’ve also done some link building by contributing to active forums in my community, by commenting on other blogs and YouTube channels in my niche and by asking other sites to link to me.

My link building efforts have been limited up until now, but I’ve managed to build nearly 30 links to my site in just two months, using all of the methods I’ve listed so far in this post.

Blogging from a private island in the Caribbean

The links I’ve built have ranged from DA10 to DA86 and almost all of them are totally relevant to my brand.

This has helped my site to gain E-A-T (Expertise-Authority-Trustworthiness) in the eyes of Google and I’m hoping it will translate to more traffic down the road.

By the way, I want to make it totally clear that I’ve only done “white hat” SEO work on the new site.

There are ways to scam the system and get a higher DA and fake traffic to a site, but these methods are always short-lived and you can’t build a successful online business with dodgy practices.

How Many Hours Am I Working?

This is a common question that we always get from people who are interested in starting a blog. They ask us:

“I have a full-time job. How will I ever have time to build a new website?”

The truth is, it is a lot of work to have a full-time job and build a new site, but it can be done.

Blogging in Albania

Currently I’m working around 20 hours per week on my site and it’s growing very fast. But 10 of those hours are spent editing the 9 articles being submitted every week. 

If you were to work 20 hours per week on a site with a full-time job, it would be tough, but when you’re building something that can one day earn a full-time income and help you quit your job and work remotely, it doesn’t often feel like work.

If you were to work on your computer for an hour every day after work and then a couple of hours on Saturday and a couple of hours on Sunday, that would be plenty to build it up quickly.

The old adage “time is money” has never been so true as it is with building an online business.

How Much Money is The Website Earning?

Currently, the website is earning $0.

That’s right. I’ve invested money into the site, I’ve spent hours and hours working on it over a 2 month period and it’s not earning a dime.

So you might be asking yourself… why would I spend all of this time, energy and money on it?

The fact is that the internet is a surprisingly predictable landscape.

Just as the saying “time is money” rings true in the online entrepreneurship world, so too does the old Angels in the Outfield line:

“If you build it, they will come.”

But perhaps more accurately:

“If you build it properly, they will come.”

I’m confident that by following the exact steps that I’ve used to build other profitable websites, and by following what I’ve taught my students in our courses who have also built profitable, successful websites, I’ll be able to repeat the formula.

I think that within a few months, this site will start earning money and I believe that in the long run, it has the potential to be a 6-figure per year business.

Not only that, but it’s a topic that I love, so I think I’ll be able to connect with some really cool people, help them answer their burning questions in the industry, and share my passion with them.

My Advantages

As I’ve said throughout this post, my goal with this new website is to use it as a case study to show others just how easy it is to build a profitable website from scratch.

I’m well aware that I have some advantages because of our current influence online, and because of my previous experience.

In this article, I want to break down some advantages and disadvantages that I have, as I’m pretty sure they start to even themselves out in the end.

My Experience Building Websites

I’m not a web developer or a web designer and I’ve never been formally taught anything to do with WordPress, HTML, or blogging in general, but I do have experience.

Because this is technically the 10th website I’ve built (I’ve done some website builds for other people), I do have a lot of experience in the process.

But the cool thing is that most of the web design and web-building I’m doing now is using tools that I’ve only had access to for a few months. It was all new to me then.

The themes, design templates, and website building software that I teach in my Beginner Blogger Course are the exact same ones I’ve used to build my last 3 websites and I have to say, they’re super easy to learn.

You don’t have to know anything about websites, website design or WordPress to learn how to use these tools. They’re so intuitive that you can have a professional-looking website up and running in less than an hour.

I’m not saying that you won’t run into some speed bumps along the way. I’ve been blogging for 7 years now and I still get frustrated and challenged by certain aspects of the work, but things are much easier these days.

When we started, we didn’t have any of the tools available today and it’s a big part of the reason it took us so long to get Goats On The Road to where we wanted it.

As with any new project,  building a new website will be a challenge, but just knowing that you’re teaching yourself a valuable new skill and building something with a lot of potential makes every bit of work worthwhile.

Our Online Connections

Having been blogging for 8 years and meeting hundreds of web owners and online entrepreneurs over the years has given me an advantage throughout this process, mostly when it comes to getting the new site seen.

However, almost all of my collabs, guest posts, and link building outreach strategies have come from Facebook Groups and online forums that pretty much everyone could have access to if they tried.

Hanging out with blogging friends in Indonesia

I list all of these groups in my SEO course and it’s usually just a matter of requesting to join and you’re in.

But there have been a few guest posts that I’ve done that are old blogger friends of mine, so I guess in that way I have the advantage of knowing a lot of other bloggers who maybe accepted a guest post from me when they otherwise wouldn’t have from a stranger.

But that doesn’t mean that you wouldn’t be able to get just as many guest posts for your own site, it just means that it may take a bit longer to get accepted for some of them.

I’m In Lockdown

As you’ll see later on in this post, being in lockdown is also a disadvantage, but I think the advantage of the current global situation for a remote worker is more obvious. I have more time on my hands.

Shopping during lockdown in Portugal

Like most people around the world right now, for the past 2 months or so we’ve been locked into our homes for most of the day. This has given me more time than usual to work on this site and get it off the ground.

Money To Invest

The money that I’m investing in the site (aside from the $60 for buying the domain and paying for hosting to get it started) is for content creation and for help with Pinterest.

I’m going to explain in the next part of this post why I don’t think that this is as much of an advantage as it sounds, but basically I’ve spent around $2,500 so far on content creation for the site.

This includes the cost of hosting and the domain name, and has paid for around 70 blog posts in total (some are scheduled and not published yet), and a few videos for the YouTube Channel.

Blogging in Ecuador

The hours I’ve saved by paying for this content would translate to extra hours a new blogger without the monetary investment would have to spend to match my pace.

I’ve also invested around $200 in Pinterest work, which has basically just been for the design of 140 pins and then pinning them to different boards.

It sounds like a lot, and it sounds like a huge advantage, and it has been helpful, but let me explain why it isn’t as big of an advantage as it sounds.

My Disadvantages

Yes I had some money to invest, I have experience building websites and I have some blogger friends, but there are also some disadvantages that I have in my current position when building this site.

If you’re thinking of building your own website, you can look at these disadvantages as potential advantages for you when you go to build your own online business.

I’m A Solo-Blogger

For years Dariece and I have been getting emails from solo-bloggers saying:

“Easy for you to say. You’re a couple and you can share the workload.”

This is 100% true and now that I’m building a site by myself, I can see how much more difficult it can be to bare the entire workload.

So, if you are planning on starting a new site with a partner, then you can expect to spend half as much time and potentially grow it twice as fast as me.

I’m Running Two Other Websites

This is a major disadvantage for me and I feel that if I wasn’t also still doing a couple of things on Goats On The Road and one other website, I would have a lot more time to focus on my new site and it would’ve grown even faster.

As I said earlier in this post, I’m working around 20 hours per week on this new website.

While Dariece is basically doing everything on Goats and our other travel site right now, every week I spend at least one full day answering emails and creating a YouTube video on Goats On The Road (or writing a post like this one). Plus, a bit of design and “geeky tech stuff” time working on the other travel site we have. 

In an attempt to neutralize this disadvantage, I’ve hired writers for the new site.

They are writing and submitting 9 articles per week for the blog. Each of these articles is between 1,500 – 3,000 words. 

I’m editing all of these posts which takes me around 10 hours in total. I’m then publishing one post a day on the new blog, leaving the two extra each week in the scheduling calendar for later.

Blogging from a cafe in Guatemala

If you were writing all of your own blog posts, then there’s no reason why you’d have to publish 7 posts per week. It would be doable, but not vital at all. It would be fine if you were just able to publish 2 or 3 posts per week to start out.

Like I said, in total I spend about 10 hours per week editing these 9 articles, which is time you wouldn’t have to spend if you were writing for yourself.

Let’s say the average post length is 2,250 words.

If you’re writing your own blog posts about something you’re knowledgeable about, then once you’re comfortable with WordPress, it likely takes 3 hours to write, format, add photos, edit, and publish a 2,250-word post.

If you were publishing 3 times per week to start (which would be great), then you’re looking at around 9 hours of writing time per week.

My work week is currently 20 hours per week, but that includes 10 hours of editing other people’s work (my biggest job on the site).

If you were to write your own posts, you could effectively take 10 hours off of my average workweek.

The other day-to-day tasks on the site, like writing guest posts, social sharing, marketing the site etc., make up for the remaining 10 hours.

So if you were writing and publishing your own posts in the aforementioned time, then your total would be 9 hours + 10 hours for the other tasks, bringing you to around 19 hours per week total. Totally doable.

I Don’t Work More Than 20 Hours Per Week

Call us lazy, call us unmotivated, but ever since we left our jobs in Canada (where I was frequently putting in 80 hours per week), Dariece and I both do our best to never work more than 20 hours per week.

We could work. But we could also drink beer and go out…

We love blogging, don’t get me wrong. There are days when we have to peel ourselves away from the laptops. But we do it so that we can keep a healthy work-life balance while living and travelling abroad.

We’ve met other bloggers who started their websites and after 18 months were earning more than 6-figures per year. The primary reason? Because they worked 8-12 hours per day on their sites until they had built something profitable.

If you’re willing to put in more time, then that will definitely be an advantage for you. As I said earlier in this post, time is money in the world of online business.

If you were to work 40 or 50 hours per week on your new site following the proven methods for success, I have no doubt that the site would be profitable after a few months.

But, the joy of websites is that they don’t require that much time. You could build a successful website while working just 15-20 hours per week on it.

I’m Locked Down

Like I said, this is an advantage and a disadvantage.

With pretty much any site, whether it’s about travel or technology or outdoor adventures, it is easier to get inspired and create content when you can actually leave your house.

Blogging in Argentina

The global lockdown has limited the type of content I can produce, the locations I can visit, the companies I could potentially work with and the research and development that I’m able to do for the new site.

If you’re starting a website while things are open in the world, you’ll likely have a distinct advantage, no matter what your site is about.

As mentioned earlier, your only disadvantage will be that you won’t have as much time on your hands.

In Conclusion

I’ve been preaching for years that everyone should start their own website and should start growing a blog around something they’re passionate about.

Starting Goats On The Road was literally the best decision that Dariece and I ever made, and we want to share this lifestyle and the freedom that comes from remote work with other people.

I’ve helped more than 1,000 people start new websites since creating the WordPress Beginner Blogger Course and the Complete SEO Course, many of them already have successful, money-making websites.

Quite a few of them have quit their jobs and turned to blogging full-time, which to me, a person who worked at a job that I didn’t enjoy in Canada, feels like the ultimate accomplishment.

As I said in this post already, I’m going to be using this new website as a case study, to show the students in the courses that it’s possible to build a successful website quickly, even these days.

So many people email us and ask if we still recommend starting a blog, now that pretty much everyone and their dog (literally) has a blog.

Our answer is always an emphatic yes.

Perhaps gone are the days when you can just start a “travel blog” or a “recipe blog” and build it to earn a full-time income.

But if you build a more niche-specific website around something you’re passionate about, even if it’s something like “Van Life Travel in New Zealand” or “One-Pot Vegetarian Meals”, you can still carve out a niche and earn a lot of money from a good blog.

Travel blogs and recipe websites aren’t the only way to go either.

You can (and should) start a website about anything you’re knowledgeable and passionate about. And if you already have a blog, you should take a page from our diversification handbook and start another one.

To me, websites, blogs, and online businesses are still the best opportunities we have in this world to create a business that can pay us well, and offer remote work freedom and location independence.

Remember… If you build it, they will come.

Start Your Own Website Today

If you’re interested in starting your own website or blog, about any topic, check out our WordPress Beginners Blogger Course which you get for free when you start a blog through links on this site.

It walks you through all of the steps to start, design, build, and grow a successful website. Turn your passion into a profitable business by following the proven steps that I’ve taken to build successful websites.

START A WEBSITE

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Our New Website: An In-Depth Progress Report After 2 Months published first on https://travelaspire.weebly.com/

[amamaterial]

John Maus. Why the fuck is everybody suddenly talking about John Maus. First time I heard about him was about a year ago, a friend I usually trust for his musical taste and who I had asked for anything to listen to, had given me "believer". I found it utterly unbearable (and what about that terrible american brat haircut). Cheap new wave (or synth pop or whatever), misplaced nostalgia, tune ok, but why should I care, not for me dude, I've known the eighties, it was at same same time much better and an absolutely depressingly shitty era, I don't need any fake vintage sounds or else to emphasize that. A friend of mine once said that the problem he sees with todays music, is that youth does not seem to be able to invent the future. The new/*- wave sounds were inventing the future, or at least creating an escape lane. Reusing all this now, for a very similar result seems to me no more than reinventing the wheel. Obviously, he's a very brilliant guy. I've been watching/reading quite a few interviews lately or reading that book length stuff on adhoc (http://adhoc.fm/post/re-dear-john-maus-how-are-you/), (I have very long bus rides...); and I really enjoyed it. This hot, passionate speaker, chaining logical assertions, (and with that kind of non-linear logic it seems you can afford in the Humanities...), he is a good spectator sport, isn't he? I get it, the kind of enthusiasm one can obtain relating one concept to another, or, as far as I'm concerned, developing a math proof, it did give me the intention to go back to anything philosophy some time soon, reminding me how precise vocabulary really expanded one's own experience of life. Then there's this whole political envisioning of pop music. This is probably what vexes me the most, I completely concur with most of the ideas he develops, but, although the live sessions look extraordinary, I quite don't get it through the music itself (whereas everybody else seems to do!). Sure, as I understood it, using for instance liturgic musicology standards to push some gimmicks of the society of spectacle, that's clever. And while it's the sort of aim I thought would repel those people I know who love Maus's music, I'd go for it, anytime (although I'm always ambivalent, I'll always claim first 'no dogma!' but aware that anyways, it's always hiding we'd better consciously /radically/ use it). But, I didn't hear that for many hearings, and I felt stupid and sorry for myself. I do love when I come to finally understand how a song works and it's complex enough so that I have that overwhelming feeling, finding the right angle for an unpolished gem to eventually flow its light directly. Maybe it's already too polished here for me (or that might have been the point that I missed). Maybe that prevents me from really getting drowned although a mix of teenage angst and existential resignation should be right up my street (and I always appreciate a good combine song, having spent enough years in rural areas and I even did a very naïve piece based on recordings of night harvests [ https://soundcloud.com/cbmaterial/night-harvest ])... well again, intellectually I'm all for it, but it seems I'm kind of hermetic to its musical substrate, to put it snobbishly. Or, maybe it's simply that I'm not into pop music (which I already knew). He writes you can't say a "landscape painter has done nothing new because the landscape he painted was already there" (although he was talking about Ariel Pink whom I never got into, I'm pretty sure it he also meant it for himself). But how can you tell creativity from forgery when you use the same brushes and the same pallet (he probably wouldn't agree about the canvas though) ? Ok, anyway, if not for the tools, then for the subjectivation through the landscape. This, I see only (but masterfully) in the live sessions. They do make the picture consistent. And so naturally, about music and sexuality/sensuality at the end of the adhoc texts ("a perfect correspondence between the sonic mediacy of the work and seeming libidinal constitutions of the figures responsible for setting them forth" - how beautiful is that?), well of course it's trivially true (at least the parts I understand), (and I'd take a hug from Panda Bear any day), and he puts it very nicely (and oh those love letters, how heartbreaking, how blind and desperately clairvoyant can we be at the same time, when we want to believe in something we wish so much to be shared, while, how painful it might be, it's always just a construction of one own's mind, a personal autopoietic brainworm - Agapé yo)

[olwog]

Soo Peeps, Today we’ll learn that ‘up’ is not necessarily the top and that fish and chips are best bought from a fish and chip shop!

I’ve planned a route from Runswick Bay to Whitby on OS Maps and sent it off to George Preston (Tracker George) for his scrutiny as he likes to plot the route on a physical map. it worked well in the past although I’ve never had an issue using my iPhone to follow the route it’s great to have a belt and braces regime if it did decide to go belly up.

A number of chums are on holiday or taking a break and our leader is touring the battle sites of the world wars over the channel. The plan is to take the car to Whitby and park up then catch the bus using our old farts passes (OFP’s) back to Runswick Bay. We’ll then walk the coastline back to Whitby followed by fish and chips at one of the multitude of outlets near the docks or the bridge. It’s just under ten miles and there’s a bit of ‘up’ to challenge and keep us fit.

  The cost of the car park is somewhat eye-watering at £7 but I’m told there’s nothing that Whitby can do about it as it’s set by Scarborough Council. We make out way across the road to the bus station calling for a swift coffee on the way in to the station. As we pass there’s the sound of a steam engine and with the aid of a short and not too elegant canter I manage to get a couple of distance photos for the album. Whilst the engine is quite a distance away as it changes ends to pull the train back to Goathland it leaves a fabulous mix of smells from the burning of the coal and the extensive plume of steam.

It’s a mix that I grew up with. I lived near the main north/south line that carried traffic from Edinburgh to London Kings Cross and the mix of sulphurous carbon and steam brought many memories flooding back.

I would be about four when I was allowed to sit on the five bar crossing-gate at Castle Hills to watch the huge steamers make their way along what we called the Low Line. Most of them would be heading to or from Middlesbrough and beyond but some would be stopping at the extensive shunting yards that were part of the industrial and rural activity of the North End of Northallerton. There were various facilities for loading and unloading trains and if a little boy like me wanted to watch a lot of train activity he would only need to tell his dad.  If he was lucky, the next Sunday his dad would take him to a particular bridge a little further along the line where he could be picked up and plonked down on the sandstone coping stones of the bridge. He was then pinned by his dad’s arms wrapped around his body and hands pushing down on the tops of his legs. There’d be no possibility of falling and the little lad could experience engines in full steam passing under the bridge and bathing him in smoke and steam for several seconds then the manmade fog would begin to disperse and the shunting yard would reappear with the engine either drifting right into the sidings or heading straight on through Low Gates which had magically closed to the one car, several carts and a mix of people on bikes and on foot.

Most things were transported by train then including cattle. There were facilities at both North End and the Main Station to load beasts onto the cattle trucks and thence to wherever. I’m not sure about animal welfare but I do remember the plaintive moos, baas and occasional squeals of pigs as one of them would upset another in the confines of the trucks.

As we got a little older we’d pluck up enough courage to stand on the embankment near the signal and when a train was stopped as the semaphore arm was set by the signalman and the oil light shone through a piece of red glass we’d ask the driver if we could stand on the footplate until he reached the next signal about 200 yards along the track. I remember being puzzled by the fact that the glass to indicate stop was as red as can be (and I’m colour blind) but the glass that was supposed to be green was actually blue, I was later to discover that this was because the oil light was yellow and the result of the two colours was, in fact, red!

If the driver had been stopped at this signal then the next signal would almost certainly be clear to indicate to the driver he could proceed so they were always a little reticent to concede to our request; however, if you ask enough drivers then there’s always one that will eventually cave in and we’d get our ride. It was thrilling to be standing there as the fireman opened the firebox using the long metal lever that was riveted to the firebox cover which in turn was made of some thick metal. As it was drawn to one side the heat would hit our legs and he’d throw a couple of shovels of coal into the gaping furnace then he’d close it again. The only thing that seemed to insulate him from the heat of the lever was an oily looking rag that he stuffed into a belt that he’d have hanging loosely around his overalls. There were gauges and more levers and the driver showed us the one that he called the regulator. It always seemed to be stiff as he pulled or beat it with the palm of his hand whilst pulling either a piece of cord or another small lever to blow the whistle twice. If he hit it too hard the wheels would skid as metal on metal doesn’t induce the sort of friction that you’d get from rubber and tarmac but I didn’t know that yet.

Sometimes, if we were lucky, the signal wouldn’t change for several minutes and these periods were gold dust as the driver of the fireman would show us the gauges and dials and tell us what they did. There was one dial that showed the pressure in the boiler and when it got to a particular red mark there would be the most excruciating noise as the safety valve would activate and steam would escape in the most horrendous shrill eruption and the engine would be engulfed in steam. I remember that this noise was probably the loudest I’d ever experienced and it hurt my ears. The driver and fireman would laugh and gesture to us to put our fingers on the little flap of skin, which I’d later be told in a biology lesson is called the tragus, and push it into our ear with our fingers and this helped but it really was intolerably loud.

On a couple of occasions, we were allowed to pull the string for the whistle and it became the subject of conversation for weeks.  Getting off was always a little more challenging as the embankment was far steeper along the line and he’d only have seconds to stop as the signalman wouldn’t be best pleased if this little treat was witnessed. The metal steps were at huge intervals for little legs and he’d hold our hands or arms as we kicked our feet around until they found safe footing then he’d lower us until we shouted, “I’m down”.

We’d scramble up the embankment before he moved the train and then walk back along the top past Baker’s barn and back to the level crossing. This was done through beds of nettles and as we’d only be in shorts they’d leave us with angry, itchy and painful rashes of spots that we’d rub dock leaves on. I’m not sure there is any pharmacological effect from a dock leaf but it always felt better and what we’d just done soon had us forgetting the imitation anyway.  We rarely asked again on the same day, our hearts were beating fast and we’d barely be able to speak for excitement but the tales that we told and kudos we got in the playground was incalculable.

Of course, this degree of what you might call ‘reckless generosity’ would result in instant dismissal these days but that was in the mid-1950’s and times were different.

All this is going through my mind when Pete’s voice comes through the fog in my brain, “You alright”.

“Just want to take a snap through here”, says I and Pete promptly speeds through the alleyway and after a brief pause, looks around the corner and gives me the thumbs up that no one is coming and I can get my shot looking out of the harbour and across at the Abbey, it’s not the best as there is a lamp post in the way but you win some you lose some and I get more than my fair share of gooduns. When it comes to taking a picture Pete’s usually ahead of the game and I appreciate his thoughtfulness in checking there are no people going to accidentally spoil it.

We manage to drink half of our mugs of coffee and tea when Tracker George announces it’s only five minutes to bus departing so we make our way around the corner to the bus station where our ride to Runswick is waiting.

The bus journey is worth the cost for the scenery alone, North Yorkshire at its best with rolling hills, a goodly bank (Lythe Bank), a few small woods and the beautiful North Sea, although, a little quiet today.  To clarify, it’s worth the cost if we were paying but our OFP’s obviate all of that.

At Runswick we disembark along with a number of other walkers whilst a couple who’ve been staying at Brunswick are standing at the other side waiting to go to Sandsend, they’re also walking to Whitby but missing the best part of the walk; ah well!

Dave advises the path adjacent to the hotel for the simple reason that I’d never gone that route before. it enables a great view of the bay and we stop at the top to allow Pete to fall over and me to get a couple of good photos looking into the sea. Pete’s OK if a little shaken and as always he looks on the bright side. “I’m glad I’m not in shorts”, says he, “I could have scrubbed my knees”. So there you go, no negativity here but the rest of us are so forgiving and he’s subject to a deluge of quips about sobriety and age.

  Towards the bottom of the path Dave points out a toilet and as we’re all of an age where the prostate is bigger than bladder we avail ourselves of the facilities whilst Pete pretends he knows what he’s doing with his camera and snaps a couple of great shots with me in them.

Onwards and in this case downward and we’re on the beach for a few hundred yards then turn right into the cut immediately after Hobb Holes and begin the ascent to the aptly named High Cliff. It’s about a quarter of a mile but the rise is a good three hundred feet and we stop a couple of times purely to take in the view of course. On one of these stops, we meet Steve. Steve usually walks the Norfolk coast and the contrast is immense if a little challenging on the stretches like this one, although an odd stop to look out through the shrubs at the bay below, mitigates any pain.

From here it’s a steady ‘up’ to Kettleness then reasonably flat along the cliff edge with great views of the North Sea and all of the sea traffic heading towards Teesport, it’s a great sight and verifies what we already know, it’s big and it’s busy.

Teesport handles over 6,000 vessels per year and the annual cargo tonnage is 56,000,000 tonnes. You can argue the case for it being second or third largest in the country and be right or wrong each time, what can be said is that it’s up there amongst the biggest and best and we can be proud.

I’m lost in thought during this part of the walk, the sun is shining and there really isn’t a cloud in the sky, by that I don’t mean that there’s only a few, I mean it literally and the result is that sea takes on a deep blue that is rarely seen and quite beautiful. It’s also as flat calm as you’re going to get so that the excitement of huge breakers hitting the rocks and cliffs is replaced by a gentle solitude even though there are four of us and it’s induced by the stillness of the day.

As we approach Sandsend Tracker George goes off-piste and beckons us to follow him and he points through a couple of thin shrubs to a cutting that leads to a tunnel. It’s the old Sandsend line and in it’s day would be responsible for carrying alum and other minerals from the mines hereabout. A figure of £235,000 was budgeted in the 1860’s and, like all things contemporary, wasn’t nearly enough as the final cost amounted to over £650,000.

It would be easy to miss this delight and I would urge you to take a few minutes to have a look and go ‘on-line’ if you’ll pardon the pun and read all about it, it’s fascinating.

Now we’re walking carefully down some very steep wooden steps through the woods towards the other end of the tunnel, clearly, it would have been easier to walk through but it has been barricaded and I’m not sure about the safety even if it were open.

  At the other side we’re back out in the open and following the old track bed for about a mile then down a little more and we’re on the seafront near Witzend Cafe requisitioning a bench seat with a perfect view of the sea whilst we eat a snack to get us up the last hill to Whitby – we don’t want to ruin appetites for the fish and chip reward at the end.

As we sit we’re entertained by a small sea creature and a guessing game ensues.

“It’s a seal”

“No, it’s seaweed”

“No, it’s a baby seal”

“It looks like a piece of wood”

This game continues as we nibble our way through what the farmers would call our ‘llowance. The ‘llownace was a sandwich accompanied by a flask of tea in the fields when we were ‘tatie pickin’. Towards the end of this delightful break, the ‘thing’ is rolling alarmingly towards the shore when Pete says what we all hoped, “I hope it’s not a baby seal…” as it flopped like a corpse as what was left of the already small waves rolled it onto the sand.

Dave was the one brave enough to investigate and came back with the welcome message that it was seaweed; all relieved now, we set off again.

It’s pathway now as we walk along the seafront. We get an occasional smile and “only 35 miles to go” from some folks who think we’re walking the Cleveland Way. We are actually walking the way but not all the way so we just smile back and nod.

The next mile is a little tedious as we negotiate our way past small groups of people who take up the width of the path then as we approach the golf course it becomes clear again.

Beyond the golf course and we turn left to regain the path on the edge of the cliffs and enter Whitby via West Cliff with mandatory photos at the whale jawbones then down into Khyber Pass and onto the fish quay turning left over the bridge and into the Dolphin for fish and chips and, in Pete’s case, a chicken pie. If you use this hotel, and please do, bare in mind that only fish and chip shops do the best fish and chips, I may well come back here in the future but it will be a chicken pie!

Satiated, we’re dragged kicking and screaming to Arguments Yard for a photograph by Snapper Pete then we close the loop via the bridge which has obligingly opened to enable us to take photographs and by coincidence also let a couple of boats through to the upper harbour. It’s at this point that we note the height of the tide and I’m glad I looked at the chart before deciding on the upper or lower routes of some of this route.

It’s an excellent walk of just over 9 miles and you can add a mile if you wander aimlessly around Whitby.

Feel free to share and like if you wish. Enjoy the snaps…G..x

Runswick Bay to Whitby in the Sunshine Soo Peeps, Today we’ll learn that ‘up’ is not necessarily the top and that fish and chips are best bought from a fish and chip shop!

[tlcrescuepa]

New Post has been published on To Love a Canine Rescue

New Post has been published on https://tlcrescuepa.com/week-end-update-kismet/

Week-End Update: Kismet

Making sure that dogs and families are a great, mutual, match for one another is something we at TLC work hard to accomplish. We know that some times, it just seems to take a while to find just the right family and, some times, people who thought one dog would be the one realize that someone else is actually the best match. When things are meant to be, they’re just meant to be and this week’s adoption featured a lot of that “yup, this was worth the wait” moments.

Our little Jedi master, Tink, waited patiently for the right family to come along and the worth was definitely worth it! Chico II also hung around a little longer than we expected but, once he met his new family, it became clear that the universe was doing him a solid for being so patient.  Some things are just mean to be. The Chihuahua mixes weren’t the only lucky pups celebrating gotcha days this week: Cilantro (now Charlie), Delilah, Diana (now Luna Tonks), Gabbana (now Faith – the last of Guess’s pups), Otis, Penny, Shayna & Sheba (now Pippin) were adopted this week, as was Anna Lee’s pup, Chewy.

Two of the pups already have TLC alumni family connections: Diana’s new big sister is Mady FKA Tamber of the Ta litter from March/April 2014 & Sheba’s new cousin is TLC alumn Samwise FKA Wrangler.

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Chico II

Cilantro now Charlie

Delilah

Diana now Luna Tonks & Mady FKA Tamber

Gabbana now Faith

Otis

Penny

Shayna

Sheba now Pippin

Tink

  We have some great updates (including some DNA results) to share!

Baby

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“Hi everyone, Baby’s DNA results came back. It was a 27 page report. She is 37.5 lab, 25 chow chow, and 37.5 mixed breed (sporting, guard, and terrier groups). She tested normal for MDR 1 (multi-drug sensitivity). She is a carrier for exercise-induced collapse. It’s an interesting report to read. You can see her family tree. Have a good one!”

  Taffy FKA Cherry

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“Hi! I wanted to show you how cherry looks . . . she now goes by “Taffy” and had a little haircut today . . . they told me she may actually be an Australian Terrier. We have all fallen in !!!”

  Annalee FKA Anna Lee

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“We are so happy that Annalee is part of our family. She is the sweetest, funniest little girl. We kept her name because she answers to it and also because Annalee is the name of a river in county Cavan Ireland and I always wanted a dog with an Irish name or connection. I think we are meant to be together. It just seems like she fits right in and has always belonged here. I’m attaching some pictures. Please excuse the one in the dress, a friend gave it to us and we just had to take a picture with her in it. I never imagined I’d be someone who dresses up their pet but here I am lol!

Thank you so much to TLC for the gift that is Annalee. We are so grateful. “

  Tito FKA Thor (aka Annalee’s baby daddy)

Tito FKA Thor

“Tito (aka Thor) Is our little sidekick. He goes everywhereeee with us.”

          Samantha

“Samantha is doing great! Wed did keep her name. She is really attached to my daughter Ava!  My entire family has already met her and she loved the attention!”

Sydney

“Things are going well. We kept the name Sydney because we really like that name. We had her first vet visit this past Saturday and the said everything looked good! She is sleeping in her crate at night and we are averaging 2 pee breaks throughout the night.  She loves playing with my other dog, Roxy, as they play for hours on end.

Thank you for everything”

  Wendy FKA Windy (mom to Brinley, Tank, Bleu FKA Blue & Junior)

“Wendy is doing great. We are all being trained so that our walks are a bit nicer. Other than some barking and excitement, she’s been a dream. “

  Bowie FKA Wolf

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“Our dog has settled in pretty well and has quickly found a place in our hearts.  After much deliberation for the week we’ve reached agreement and have changed his name from Wolf to Bowie.  He has enjoyed numerous walks and has met most of the neighbors and their dogs.  We have plans to get him to the vet soon.  I’m not very good with social media but have attached some pictures to this email.  Please thank the foster family and all of the volunteers at TLC for the wonderful care he’s received.  We feel extremely fortunate.”

  Wilson FKA Boomer

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“We had a little birthday party for Wilson and celebrated with a homemade “cake” of vanilla ice cream, peanut butter & milkbones. We also got our fence and he loves how free he can roam. ❤🐾”

  Chip FKA Terk

“Chip is doing very well, he’s a little scared of all the cars and subway grates in the city but he’s getting better every day!  I’ve attached a few pictures, he was very curious about the fountains in Logan Square Park!”

  Lila Grace FKA Haley

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“We love our Lila Grace so much, and she and Bodhi  get along spectacularly well.

Right now they are playing i’m making adorable, playful sounds.

Lila is such a sweet girl who loves to give & receive love. Thank you so much for bringing her into our lives.  “ 

  Zoey FKA Mabel

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“Yes, the time’s flown by and I can’t believe that Zoey’s been with us for 7 months now. When she came to us she was a reticent dog who didn’t like to be touched or cuddled and would bare her teeth at the smallest instance. Today, she’s a loving dog who loves to go on car rides, enjoys vanilla ice cream, loves chicken jerky and doesn’t leave my son’s side. We have really been busy over the last few months and in the chaos and our ups and downs she’s helped us stay sane. She’s just wonderful! Here are some pics for you and the amazing TLC team. Btw – that’s my son’s lap if you haven’t guessed that already. She’s happiest when she’s with him. “

Remember those stinkin’ cute fluffballs in the La litter from January? They’re about 6 months old now

Piper FKA Lally

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“Today is Piper’s six month birthday (we think) and we wanted to send an update on how she’s doing!

Piper is now up to 27 pounds, growing long and wide but not very tall

She was originally described to us as “independent and confident” and she has definitely displayed those characteristics at the Agility classes she has been taking at Zoom Room in Philadelphia

Piper is a social butterfly always excited to meet new dogs in the city and to see her normal doggy friends at the local dog parks

Our biggest challenge with Piper has been due to her protective instincts as she is always on alert for strangers walking by – and makes sure that they hear her bark!

We would love to hear about any of Piper’s siblings if you have any updates on them.”

keep reading because sharing Piper’s update set off a cascade of updates from the extended family

Cooper FKA Laddie

Cooper FKA Laddie

“I just sent Cooper.   Hopefully you got it. 

He’s Much bigger than piper!  Look at his legs!

Cooper is 37 lbs.  He’s also very protective especially around tall men. 

He’s been a great puppy.  Loves walks and gets along great with other dogs. 

He’s very independent and is going through a chewing stage.  

He’s not very affectionate but I’m hoping that changes.  The vet said he could be

Part corgi and chow.  She thinks he might be 60 lbs!  Yikes!”

  Endor FKA Lawler

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“Endor (FKA Lawler) is doing great. We had a rough start with him, but we found an excellent local trainer, and it’s really helped a lot. Endor has two kids, 5.5 and just-turned 1, and two cats. (We have our hands full!!) Every day he enjoys going to the bus stop to see all of his neighborhood friends; he’s very popular. We’ve even had people stop their cars to ask what he is and where they can get one.

He’s a bit unsure of strangers, especially men, but we’re working on that. He loves to play fetch with a number of frisbees outside and one particular tennis ball inside. He seems to be a water dog; he’s  always digging in his water bowl and playing in our little garden pond. I can’t wait to get him a baby pool.  Right now he’s a very hot puppy with this heat wave. We’re looking forward to hearing about his adorable siblings!”

  Luna FKA Laurie

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“Luna is doing great! She’s up to 25 pounds and is extremely intelligent! She is still very wiry of new people and can be a bit protective at times but she has her big bulldog sister to reassure her! The two are always together! She eats like a horse and loves car rides but can’t help but get sick if it’s too long. She LOVES attention and always has to sit right next to you or right on top of you! She learned many of her tricks while she was very young at only 12 weeks! She knows how to shake with each paw, lay, roll over, wave, and dance! She also knows to sit before I open the door outside so that she will never rush out of the house. We went away over the weekend one time so far since we have had Luna and it took her quite a bit to trust the family member we left her with so she takes time to warm up to others when alone with them but she comes around and loves other dogs! She is overall an amazing intelligent dog! We have so happy to have her as a part of our family!  “ 

speaking of family updates, Faith FKA Gabbana’s mom and a couple of brothers sent an update this week too

Zoey FKA Guess

Zoey FKA Guess (r)

“Zoey is settling in very well! She took no time in making herself right at home. We’re so happy with how well she fits into our family. We have a vet appointment scheduled. Thanks for everything!”

        Chewie FKA Armani (Guess’s pup)

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“Chewie is doing great!  He was at the vet yesterday for a checkup and his shots.  He is now weighing it at almost 30lbs.  Attached are some pictures.  His new hobbies include naps on the couch, playing with Roxie and eating bunny poop in the yard!”

Kors FKA Versace (Guess’s pup) & Bandit FKA McCall (Mc pups from March 2017)

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Versace FKA Kors

Bandit FKA McCall

“Yes, we are all doing well and McCall and Kors have settled in nicely. We are into a regular routine of going potty and playing outdoors.

My son initially wanted to adopt Versace but he was taken…so he has renamed Kors. He is Versace now but I call him cuddlebug and chunky spunky monkey! He’s full of energy and loves playing with McCall. They play tug of war daily over rope toys, bones and sticks. Versace has a big, loud mouth and when he is sleeping, we whisper and tip toe so we don’t wake him.! He is crate training and learning quickly to hold it until he gets outside. He is a joy!

McCall has also been renamed. He is Bandit now. It is very fitting too! He runs really fast, like a bullet. Versace and Smokey try hard to keep up but bandit leaves them in the dust. Just like the movie characters, we have our own Smokey and the Bandit. Bandit is a sweet heart. He is very curious and enjoys exploring the house and yard. He has boundless energy and loves to get the others to chase him. He is also protective of our home and is quick to bark at anyone passing by our house. He loves to jump on the couch, cuddle up and sleep next to us. I have attached a few pics for you to show their foster Moms.”