#ha ha guys I'm so normal about them
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Throwing up thinking about how Jason probably wanted to be a doctor because Catherine died from an illness that they couldn't afford to treat and then he met Sheila who was a doctor and she never even tried to save him. And he couldn't save either of them in the end. And her last words were about how much he must have loved Catherine.
#dc#jason todd#Catherine Todd#sheila haywood#ha ha guys I'm so normal about them#everyday I think about how Jason was buried next to Sheila instead of his mother#and Jason just has to live with that#and he never brought it up because he forgave Sheila#but no way he's not so fucking sad when he thinks about it#how unfair is it that Catherine is hailed as selfish and neglectful for self medicating with s terminal ILLNESS#but Sheila gets to be propped up as the virtuous mother who died alongside her son#because Bruce is never going to know the part she played in Jason's murder#I truly do believe that in his worst nightmares the Joker isn't even there#it's just him and Sheila. His broken bloody body begging for help. And she stares at him with pity and a cigarette hanging from her lips#Sheila's betrayl hurt a million times worse than the crowbar and it remains the worst part of the whole experience for him#and no one can convince me otherwise
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smth about edwin escaping a red hot hell and meeting a boy blue to the nose with hypothermia.
smth about them clawing their way up the staircases to earth and the attic, dripping with gory blood and ice cold water.
smth about their afterlives being forever imbibed with the colors of each other's death.
#ouffsrfs soo many thoughts about red and blue payneland but words aren't coherenting rn#but ykkk😭😭🤧#if the brains and brawns thing is smth they've specifically assigned to themselves even though it easily goes both ways#then so are their hero colours#aaaa I'm such a sucker for blurring the linesss!!!!😭😭🤧👌🏼like who is he really? charles?#the brawn? the red guy?? the platonic partner??? or has he been carrying a part of edwin in his soul for so long#that he couldn't tell the difference btw them if he tried??#anyways yeah. feeling very normal about color symbolism👍🏼#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland#dbda#payneland#ig all of this was to say that charles really does love him as a friend and more. just like the way he is loved in return#ougfh
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been doodling some bri'ish wildlife - love seeing these guys. because they are the classics aren't they?
#my art#animal art#illustration#''love seeing these guys'' has only ever seen 6 of them#as if the elusive dormouse would ever grace my presence. and i still doubt the existence of snakes in england#drew the fox and pheasant because they're symbolic for two of my silly ocs then was like why not make a whole page of these suckers#lots of fun! if anyone's interested i'm gonna open up some slots to draw animals like this on kofi or something soon#can be pets etc. ocs too maybe but they'll be more expensive. not sure how much i'll charge for them but we shall see#lots of art to come...........i swear on it...........i'm about to go for a walk and maybe i will finally see a grass snake#(it's raining so this will not happen)#animals: ring necked pheasant. grass snake. european badger. red fox. barbastelle bat. mole. red squirrel. hazel dormouse. and hedgehawg#i had to compress this to hell it's so large#i need to take like a base photoshop class to learn how to actually use it cause the size of my files is actualy getting ridiculous#if i didn't compress this it would be 30 mb. this cannot be normal
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charles and erik with each other: oh dear, oh dear. gorgeous 🥺👐 charles and erik with the villain of the week/the x-men: K1LL YOURSELF 🔥🔥🔥
X-Men: First Class (2011) | X-Men Apocalypse (2016)
#charles is soo insane for looking at a god in the face and telling him to fuck off bc he was hurting his best friend. most normal guy.#cherik#mine*#x-men#xmenedit#parallelsedit#filmedit#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#otp: i want you by my side#god charles' entire demeanor towards apocalypse in xma has always been SOO funny to me. he literally looks ANNOYED every time#apocalypse speaks in the movie. he doesn't even look intimidated or worried that he's trying to possess CHARLES'S BODY or anything#mind you charles wrote his thesis about mutation and here he has THE FIRST MUTANT ever in front of him. who's also a god threatening#to destroy the world. and charles' only reaction is:#'whatever. MOVE OUT OF THE WAY LOSER i CANNOT see erik from where you are standing and i'm worried about him'#and i do think it's very sweet that after this raven tells erik he has to fight for what he has left - and he thinks about charles#(the man that stood on the balcony all those years ago and that cared enough about him to tell him there is more to him#and the same man that STILL CARES ENOUGH to look at A GOD in the face and telling him to go fuck off and die and stop manipulating erik)#charles loves him so much you don't get it........... i'm foaming at the mouth i'm so normal about them
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Hi, Howdy! Hey! I really love your novel!! I got a little confused by the 4 day, may maybe you help me please? who is it? why we got the bad end staying the night in Ren’s apartment and he disappear of the home screen? I can’t understand “unset memory” game, sorry if I wrote smth wrong or smth sounds rude, I swear that I didn’t mean it if happened, I’m really a fan of the novel, I’ve been playing the game since day 1 or 2 I guess, probably day 1, english isn’t my first language, but I tried lol
⌞♥⌝ I hope you don't mind me answering these as bullet points!! ^^
"It" will be revealed later in the game! So I won't reveal too much right now.
You can only get the Dead End in Day 4 by staying at Ren's apartment — the rest of your choices before that don't matter. I'd also pay closer attention to the black smoke and Ren's reaction towards it!
Ren disappears from the home screen because he promised to help the player out (and stop them from getting the Dead End again). Try replaying the game again from the beginning for a surprise!
"Unsent Memories" was another visual novel (initially being written by @10chimes / @unsentmemory, though the project has since been dropped and handed back to me /pos) and is set in the same universe as 14 Days With You. Its storyline and characters are completely separate from 14DWY, so you don't have to worry about them while playing 14DWY.
#I don't think a lot of people know this but River was originally my OC lmao#Obviously BEFORE Jesse picked him up and turned him into an entirely different character /pos#We originally planned for Riv and Ren to have a Billy and Stu dynamic; except River would pretend to be a himbo—#— The same way Ren would pretend to be some Normal Empathetic Guy™️ kjgskg#River was also going to be a lovesick serial killer who incapacitated Bunny so that they'd stay with & depend on him forever#Also because Jesse and I wanted to have a ''same production factory; different yandere'' kind of vibe with Riv and Ren (and their dynamic)#Like... Ren puts Angel above himself and craves THEIR satisfaction whereas River cares about himself and prioritises HIS own satisfaction#Ren would hit his best friend (River) with a car if it meant keeping Angel happy & by his side forever#River would hit Bunny with a car if it meant keeping them by his side forever (thus making him happy)#But!! After everything that's happened in the yandere community; Jesse (understandably) wanted to get away from that kind of environment#So he's since dropped Unsent Memories and hasn't really got any plans to work on it again or return to da yan vn circle#I'm also continuing to write 14DWY the way it was originally planned (with 2017!River only getting a brief cameo to serve up some lore </3)#—But I'm lowkey holding out just in case Jesse ever considers returning hehe :3 I like their version of River and I wanna do him justice#Until then though?? I'll yearnfully clutch my locket and wait for my lover to return from war.... (she has a literal 9-5 job now) /hj /p#GKJSDG I scrolled up and??? NOT ME RANTING IN THE TAGS AGAIN?????????? WHY DO I UNINTENTIONALLY YAP SO MUCH#I will 🤫🤐 now#💌 — answered.#💖 — 14 days with queue.#🖤 — shut up sai.#to be tagged later#weird0nerd
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I think my favorite thing about doing ginger red hair instead of cherry red hair is: lying to people about it
#I love the cherry red / wine red and I'll probably go back at some point bc it's my Origin.#but for now.#I don't actively lie to people but bc it's a Natural and Plausible hair color#and I'm already pale and I dye my eyebrows to match my hair. ppl figure it's natural#and it has come up MULTIPLE TIMES. and I've recently been rolling with it instead of correcting ppl. bc who cares?#recent examples that come to mind (but I did correct them in this one) my surgeon assuming it was natural#and using my genetics as a natural redhead as a baseline to tell me about what I can expect from my future scarring#and then again later with the anesthesia. they were going to dose me differently#the anesthesiologist glanced at me when I came into the OR and was getting the stuff ready on his cart#and when he heard me talking to my doc and re-telling him that oh the hair isn't natural#he was behind the curtain like FUCK#taking shit off his cart and quietly redoing his setup#that's how I learned that redheads need higher doses of anesthesia than other ppl.#they also need more of the topical stuff like lidocaine. apparently they metabolize it faster(?)#ANYWAY he was going to up my dose thinking I needed it lol#so i almost got way more sedatives and pain meds than i needed bc of my hair dye LMAOOO#other more Normal Life examples was a country dude in full hunting gear holding a door open for me someplace#and I said thank you and he lifted his hat up to point at his (natural) red hair and said ''twins!''#this one sticks with me because that was such a cute thing to do. what the hell#and at snakefest I was talking to some people at their food truck. there was an older guy who trapped me into a convo for like 30mins#he was Very Nice. and they were going to some type of irish festival next and said I should go too bc I'll be right at home#flat out just was like. this bitch looks irish#and I don't know why all of this is so funny to me. it has no reason to be.
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The Dream (The Angel's Kiss)
Based on the sculpture by Auguste Rodin (1905)
(Censored just in case even though it's nothing explicit, uncensored under the cut)
"I remember you, something about you... coming to me, and sinking into me, and giving me breath again. . ."
#Guys I'm incredibly normal and casual about gpi trust me#<- Guy who has drawn them as paintings and sculptures 100% seriously no irony#I'm really scared of posting this like actually. have i reached the limit of cringe. is this too serious.#posting this is making me question everything. you don't even KNOW#Wdym this is about a niche little gay production (of an already weird play)#which has exactly one full recording where these guys are 5 pixels tall#OKAY I'M STOPPING RN#WHAT HAS TO HAPPEN WILL HAPPEN IG#I know this'll probably just end up getting 10 notes cause it's about gpi#BUT I'M SCARED MAN.#PLEASE I'M NOT A FREAK OR A WEIRDO PLEASE GUYS PLEASE#sorry i ranted in tags do you guys still think I'm cool#gruesome playground injuries#sculpture#doug gpi#corey gpi#I'm gonna be so honest with you guys rn#i loooooove drawing their scars#The amount of shirtless drawings of them in my sketchbook would drive the exactly 3 people who care about this play crazy#I SWEAR I PROMISED TO STOP RANTING#I CAN'T HELP IT#MILO ART#traditional art#pencil#watercolor#cw nudity#YEAH I THINK THAT'S IT#auguste rodin#queer
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every time I hear someone say "oh you have to listen to Dear Evan Hansen it has such good mental health representation" I cry in Next to Normal
#next to normal#and yes this is based on a true story#generally I dont try to juck anyones jum so I of course didn't tell that person what I was thinking at that moment#and if someone found Dear Evan Hansen a useful text in terms of their own mental health journey who am I to discredit that#but this is the internet and I am back on the ntn train#in a way it is my saf autumn musical#and yes I am a survior of the 2017 Tony Awards why were you asking?#no but seriously#it is so interesting how many narrative devices Dear Evan Hansen took from Next to Normal#but turned them into a less complete piece#like Gabe in ntn is a representation of unadressed grief and trauma and the family has to accept that he will never be really gone#and connor is just...idk not fully thought out?#idk I'm rambling#but also#how the love story between Henry and Natalie means something#Natalie sees her parent's relationship and desperately doesn't want that for herself and Henry at the same time also stand for#a piece of normalcy that seems attainable#you don't sit there and think hu why is there this completely separate love story thrown in there?#it mirrors the problems#and dear evan hansen#do I even have to say it#I thnk the thing I resent it most for is that it has a love story#naja#I'm of listening to net to normal some more#sorry I someone who really likes deh stumbles accross this#I feel like espechially musicals can be something that can be so personal#and I don't actually want to contribute to more stuff like#ew why do you like this when theres xyz that is so much better or morally purer or whatever#I guess what I do want to say is: if I had a nickle for everytime they made a musical about mental health where theres a ghost on stage and#the sister of the dead kid falls in love with a funny guy while her family is falling apart
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Damian, still fresh to the family, but actually starting to warm up to the idea of them actually being his family, looks up online 'how to be a good little brother.'
He finds all sorts of things like, "using cuteness to get what you want from your elder siblings" (lame, no way that works) "fake extra tears when they punch you so your parents buy you icecream and whatever else you want" (why on EARTH would he want anyone think he could be so weak?) etc, but he also sees stuff about Pranks, sibling fights (in the sense of "you know they're real siblings because they'll throw hands one minute, then 5 minutes later be laughing watching tv together like nothing happened"), and concepts like Sibling Code (like, absolute secrecy between siblings toward their parents, threatening potential heartbreakers, etc).
Cue him pulling pranks, like leaving lego everywhere and waiting for his shoeless family to step on them, hiding things that the others need (like, right now), sneaking things into the batcave that shouldn't be in the batcave, throwing himself at his siblings to brawl without any reason and then promptly stopping also with no reason (and wondering why they won't spend time with him to bond afterward), planning out how to threaten a literal magic space princess (Kori, who would probably find it very cute if he actually made it that far), hiding Literally Very Important information about his siblings from Bruce and Alfred because he's not a snitch, and he is a great little brother. (he's going to get an A in Little Brother which is something totally normal to want and achieve)
He eventually gets BIG scolded for his constant misbehaviour, though. Bruce and Dick are asking why he's going off the rails so much when he doesn't even seem particularly angry anymore - in fact, sometimes he even seems fairly content! Is there an issue they're unaware of? Something he's not expressing to the family? They're not mad if there's a problem, they just want to help!
So, of course, he then has to embarrassingly explain that he was just following little brother protocol, according to.. the internet. He gets bullied about it for weeks by his elders (to different degrees), since the internet is not going to help anyone be a better sibling, but they also each try to explain (in their own ways) (their own waynes) why he was so, so very wrong about the way he approached being a good sibling, so he can hopefully improve at it (and stop terrorising the household).
(I saw a meme post about Damian putting legos all over the floor + hiding Tim's shoes to harm him and it made me think of the concept)
(Also once he learns that acting extra cute really can get him what he wants, he tries to use it now and then to his advantage, but is hilariously bad at doing it, since he doesn't really have a grasp on what makes a younger sibling cute (which is.... literally just existing,, according to me, a middle child). Lucky for him the others eat up every attempt because it's so obvious what he's doing that it becomes cute to them, so he doesn't need to get real practice with it until he tries to use it on a non-bat who laughs at him for far too long about it and thusly brews fire in him to go back to the pranks he tried at the start of the little brother training montage and show them real sibling pain for making a fool of him.)
#me on this account: 'batfam time' me on the art account : 'batfam time'#you can say what you want about me but you CANNOT say I'm neurotypical#the strength it took to type neurotypical on my keyboard.... you have no idea.... for someone who literally had to attend touch type class.#I cannote type#I'd like to think Jason and Cass would hit him with the 'a good little brother would go get me a soda right now' concepts to#assert the older sibling dominance that CAUSES the sibling fights (it works)#Duke Steph and Dick are just like 'when you are just yourself that's when you're being a good little brother' and Tim#is like (throwing up noises) about it#Tim is the guy that secretly wishes he was the family baby but sadly he is not and so he's gotta act that way to hide it (poorly)#he is baby to me though sorry baby#barbara sends him memes about sibling life to prove that since he can relate to them he in fact HAS been a good little brother all along#or at least a fairly normal one#batman#batfam#damian wayne#sorry for this everyone I can't stop thinking about these bats#I wrote this in a haze forgive grammar spelling thinking everything just god please forgive me let me go I hate hyperfixating#I'm sure this concept already exists btw but I'm not sorry for also thinking about it I am simply high fiving the other believers
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clint mcelroy creating a dnd character: oh yeah, this bad boy can fit so much simple zest for life in him
#eliot posts#taz#the adventure zone#merle highchurch#zoox anthellae#ive not listened to graduation yet (and idk if i ever will) so idk if this applies to argo or not#i remember so little of amnesty and am only 10 eps into steeplechase so i can't speak for the non dnd campaigns either#it's funny how a lot of people's ttrpg characters often have common themes in them#me and my friend john from our irl dnd group were talking about that and it's like#alicia plays the most Friend Shaped girls imaginable. caleb's Cause Problems On Purpose. julia's are sassy and tend to do their own thing#john's are edgy in theory but extremely friend shaped and caring in practice. and i tend to play The Mom Friend.#not ALWAYS but pretty often. and basically always they're just really looking for human connection (whether they know/accept it or not)#even my goddamned PISS WIZARD is quickly careening towards mom friend territory??? somehow???#very few people tolerate him so he's protective of those who do. even if it's mostly just a coworkers situation in the party#and most of the party is So Fucking Stupid#it's a very hilarious party composition overall. just 5 guys all thinking ''wow. what a bunch of freaks. good thing i'm normal :)''#and the only one who is REMOTELY accurate in that assessment is the cleric whose catchphrase has quickly become#''hey. don't look at me. i just work with them.''
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My brain just hit an old hyperfixation (is this what it's called? I hope I used the word right) and oh dear am I losing my mind now. I need to write a story I think. About this one old guy. He's unhinged. There's so much information about him and yet not enough. I want to explore his character so much. He's definitely a criminal - at least he was one - and I'm 95% sure he can do actual real magic, and he's a musician and an artist and an actor and a magician and a philosopher and a traveler and a conman and so much more and also I think he's some kind of immortal. Maybe he just has a VERY long life. It's strongly implied he was a pirate at some point of his life. He started a cult by accident several times. My conspiracy theories about him include him being a secret god.
He's also a freaking round blue raven. Someone save me from my mind.
#seriously why is he so cool#he's like. a ball.#he's ROUND#if no one stops me I'm gonna make an au and introduce all my mutuals to a russian cartoon that lives in my head rent-free#it has an obviously mysterious old man and an old woman who seems to be very normal but actually has some weird past as well#and they're in love you can fight me on this THEY. ARE. IN LOVE.#there's a disastrous scientist who keeps forgetting to sleep and is kinda cute in a nerdy way#there's a mechanic guy who lives a bit away from everyone surrounded by tech and he's actually unhinged#he's a single father btw. he made a robot baby because he was lonely. it's very important for his character.#I WILL ship the scientist and the mechanic because no one can stop me <3#there's a local farmer who was a famous disco dancer an archeologist and a VERY famous actor in the past. he doesn't care about it anymore.#he was like. Captain America actor kind of famous. or Superman.#and then he just committed a bunch of crimes for his new friends and left to live in a village far away from big cities#all those people with very suspicious past raise a bunch of children together#absolutely inseparable adhd and autism best friends boys who I think are capable of destroying the world#and toxic teenagers couple:#a girl who honestly needs to figure herself out first before dating anyone and a poet boy who is SO deeply in love with her it's not okay#the farmer dude also has a rebellious teenager niece who visits him sometimes#and the mechanic's kid is usually in space but sometimes returns and I am not ashamed to admit that I cried during some of those episodes#I am going to think about them. they are so important to me.#I am going insane.#also yes they are all round animals. if you're wondering.#someone just tranquillise me already or something. it's 5 a.m. and I am losing my sanity
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Me, to friend: don't you hate it when you have those days where your heart is just mad and it beats REALLY hard at random moments, even when you're just sitting there, like not FAST but really hard and it is VERY UNCOMFORTABLE for no reason? Friend: you know that's not normal right??? Me: you mean that doesn't happen to you? Friend: NO, IT DOES NOT. Me: ...please hold. *five minutes later* Me: so I talked to my mother and this might in fact be a highly hereditary genetic issue that both her and my grandma and my great grandma all had, who knew??? Anyway I need to see a doctor and I might need heart medication. Friend: YA THINK?
#it's discovering my nut allergy all over again#me as i'm munching snowball cookies with walnuts in them: 'ha ha don't you guys hate that weird burn walnuts give your mouth?'#friends: DROP THE FUCKING SNOWBALL THIS INSTANT YOU HAVE A NUT ALLERGY#apparently the heart doing this is not actually normal#i just thought everyone had days like this#like don't worry i'm not going to keel over but internet was like 'yeah you need to watch for this if it's in your family'#mom was only diagnosed like 2 years ago and my grandma had it too and it apparently goes undiagnosed usually#because of *exactly* what i was doing#which was going#'well. it's not painful just uncomfortable so I'll wait and see if it goes away'#and then it does the next day so you forget about it#and consider it just a Weird Thing That Occasionally Happens
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alright as much as everyone (including me) has been nitpicking and critiquing season three of bridgerton i have to hand them one thing and that's no other season has made me this insane
#queen charlotte was beautiful wonderful gorgeous fantastic well written made me cry etc#and yes it did make me insane i won't deny it#but the thing about it is i'm satisfied with where the story ended up it feels finished to me im not clamoring for more#season two i wanted more kanthony and i got it season three i loved what we got from them#but season three polin? im rewatching a thousand times im dissecting the acting choices im wanting to bap the editors on the head#im watching every reaction i physically can stand to watch im watching the interviews im making edits im writing fanfic etc etc#like. i think it truly walks such a lovely horrible little line of being SO CLOSE to perfect so close to everything i ever wanted and it is#just SLIGHTLY imperfect enough that im yelling NO NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE CHARACTERS LIKE I DO#where i'm defensive and saying no please look colin has liked penelope this whole time it didn't START at the kiss you have to understand#anyway. how are you guys? im normal. im normal#bridgerton#bridgerton spoilers#txtly
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ruthlessly deleting old 2021/2022 posts (not by me) from my dean studies tag like *click* un-incorporating that from my beliefs system! also the way SO many posts have me like ok uh-huh good aaand then say one completely wrong thing that loses me. it's so many posts.
#it's usually when they randomly drop some line of fanon. like saying dean has never admitted to being wrong in his life#or never expressed an emotion or been vulnerable or doesn't Talk About Feelings or is super duper RepressedTM#like i'm sorry. have you watched the show. oh and have you taken off the sammy POV goggles first?#bc this guy is always crying and being vulnerable and talking about his feelings. he is self-aware.#he may not always want to talk to sam abt things! but he sure does talk about things with other people#do i need to reblog the compilation posts AGAIN?#(also re: his sexualiy? AWARE. sorry i saw him flirt and be flustered by so many men. he knows how he feels.)#and then 'first time ever admitting to being wrong' this one came from a post abt dean's prayer in the trap#like i'm sorry but first of all. dean apologizes more than any other character on the show. there are hard numbers on this.#people have tracked this on spreadsheets. i think ilarual is one of them.#and often he is apologizing for things that aren't even his fault! but he still feels responsible for bc he's been made to feel that way#his whole life!!#other characters *cough samandcas *cough* apologizing Less doesn't mean they've Done less things wrong#it just means they're not owning up to it and brushing it under the rug. something both do frequently.#anyways. aside from apologies. dean also has no problem admitting he's wrong y'know when he's actually wrong#which is less often than you'd think bc he has pretty good instincts and intuition and often suspects things which turn out to be Right#but anyways. another thing abt the trap prayer is. i don't think cas Needed to be forgiven#i think dean was justified in feeling angry w cas over the circumstances leading to the Death of His Mother! totally normal grief response!#i think cas also understands dean to be someone who needs time to process and deal with his feelings (he says as much to jack)#however. despite me not think dean Needs to forgive cas. the thing is. with dean when it comes to cas the forgiveness is implicit#when he says /of course i forgive you/ and in the cut like /of course i wanted you to stay/ like. yes he was mad and dealing with grief#but also. yes cas was already forgiven even back then. he just needed Time to work through the feelings#anyways i think dean says he 'forgives' cas bc it's what CAS needed to hear to stop feeling guilty and dean gives him that closure#but i also think cas was already forgiven even in dean's anger. he wants him there always. i'd rather have you. we can fix this. etc etc#a lot of tags for a non-rebloggable post ajksdfs maybe i'll make these into a real post sometime#vic.txt#dean and feelings#so i can find this all again later
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why does it feel like the only people who actually understand Kai's personality end up being autistic people. Saw someone say he's cold and overly serious. I'm sorry?? are we talking about the same character?? The guy who forced Joe to call him Mr. Kebab?? The same dude whohad major beef with Alice over a fucking necklace??? Who chased Reko to tell her ghost stories?? Fuck in the manga he's such a little dweeb constantly.
Just because he's monotone and, I will die on this hill, has MANY autistic traits and or symptoms it doesn't mean he's this cool calm collected dude with his life together. This sounds like utter gibberish but all I wanted to do today was happily scroll through the Kai Satou tag and was slapped in the face with mischaracterization every now and again. To quote Nao he is simply silly and cute. And heavily burdened by the sins of his family as well as his own. But that's another story
#Kai Satou#your turn to shine#yttd#joe tazuna#nao egokoro#sara chidouin#reko yabusame#alice yabusame#yttd kai#I'm so normal about him (lie)#I have so many opinions and thoughts on his character#why do so many ppl fail to understand him he's like the guy ever#also yes i did see someone say kai had his life put together and just stared at it for a bit because HOW#motherfucker vehemently lived by serving other people he has no sense of self worth/value#and is terrified of letting himself get close to good people out of fear that he'll hurt them#and that SUCKS because that's EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED ☹️#i could go more in depth but i'm thinking so many thoughts abt the satou family#theyre so tragic
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I was just ambushed within the turbulent halls of my own mind by some headcanons about rye ingellvar's childhood that did 15000000 points of psychic damage to me and my heart personally and also made me almost sure of how I want to play it all at the end (very very differently from how I imagined going in!). some 'oh holy fuck this changes everything' rocking my own world bullshit going on in my neurons right now I'm reeling
#I'm sorry to say that despite what I expected I think the dread wolf might be going down violently on my first run???#not because *I* love solas any less but because of who rye is and some of the twists I know happen down the line#which does make for a neat thing b/c I meant to play the crow I'm going with second as initially incredibly hostile#and then growing to feel for him and redeeming him at the end.#so if rye starts out very reasonable and sympathetic and then is brought to 'haha. no. fuck you forever for that in particular' at the end#...a pleasing cosmic symmetry in it I must admit. perfect and also makes me feel a bit sick#I'll try to put together something coherent eventually but for now#it's sort of a 'my name is ellaryen ingellvar you killed the guy#that my brain went 'close enough welcome back beloved and much missed deceased father figure' over. prepare to despair and die'#I think just the killing part might not have done it but everything that comes after? rye is a chill guy until he finally decides#that enough is fucking *enough*. and that was the most enough of all time for them#it also explains rye's accent (one of his primary caregivers growing up was a dwarf)! so many birds with one stone here#also I am so fucking sad now and I did it entirely to myself. I love fiction I love games (embarassingly genuine)#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: ellaryen ingellvar#thank god that the romanced solas playthrough is the second one tho that does make things less dire haha#adaar would have given it the good old college try to get solas to change his mind right to the end I think#but even his capable hands and politician's mind could not hold back the sheer beware the fury of a patient man storm#that is about to hit solas for the shit he just pulled. I think rye and solas are -- as it turns out -- TOO alike in many ways#...solas buddy I'm so sorry I'll come back for you on the second playthrough and make it right I swear fhsak#it's just that a second dead dwarf dad has joined the chat to haunt the narrative (and this time it's fucking personal frfr)#it's almost scary how quick I've gotten attached to my rook tho. I've waited A DECADE to save this bald elf man from himself#and then rye shows up with steel in his normally kind eyes going 'no. I want that fucker *dead*'. and I just go anything for you babyboy#I'll see what we can do. unspeakable stuff
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