#guys you know the rules of the game use them

[bnyf]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ#1 crush ♡

╭﹕୨୧﹒yandere male elf x female human reader ♡

┊ warnings : yandere content and themes, unhealthy behaviors, relationship and relationship dynamic, sexual content, noncon, kidnapping, size difference, strange dynamic.

╰﹕୨୧﹒authoress note : after receiving some unwanted but much needed criticism i've tried my hand at writing a little better and fixing errors. i apologize in advance if there's any errors or gaps in my writing, i also apologize for the messed up story that this is. ik some people don't like the way i write the reader but like??? idgaf sorry anyways other than that, i hope you guys enjoy, please read the warnings and proceed with caution <3 i would also like to say that this post is kinda inspired by a very popular yandere artist on here with a male elf oc

what a treacherous fate had befallen on a vitreous soul such as yourself.

it truly is unfortunate, you're so unlucky. how could your luck have run so low? to think, this everyday mundane routine would now be your nightmarish reality was stomach wrenching. you never did anything to deserve this, this was simply some sort of faulty by the gods, right? there's no way this is your horrible ending. no way.

you sobbed and yet... he hummed and chastised you by smacking your puffy clitorous.

it's always like this, it's been like this for...? a while now apparently. you've completely lost track of time. maybe a month or so if you're playing the guessing game.

well, if it wasn't obvious already, you've been taken hostage by an insane elven prince. probably the most insanely angelic, good-looking, prettiest and sick minded male you've ever met.

he really needs professional help. something that he can more than afford considering his house is almost made of gold, his herculean physique adored and draped only with the most expensive clothes, jewels, silks, soaps and scented creams and perfumes. his perfume, so extravagant, worth more than your vital organs all put together. that was the part you admired about elven people, they are so intelligent, so ahead of humans.

but to him? therapy is cheap and free! you're the first ever human he's laid eyes on and that's all he really needs. and really, you're the one to blame for his actions. it's all you. so you should take responsibility, right?

he's sought out humans before, trying to break the barrier between the two worlds and connect with them. he was damn near obsessed with coming into contact with the human realm and ruling over them like a god despite the fact that any sort of magic that threatens to break the barrier and connect the realms or offer passage through the two realms is absolutely forbidden. this is such a serious offense that if caught violating, can lead to public execution.

but your little caregiver did not! give one flying hoot at all, nor did the rules really even apply to royals as the royals participated in a lot of magical corruption and kept it all on the low.

so what a surprise! not really that he'd succeed in his conquest. not entirely since he'd only manage to bring one human to the elven realm, but now he knows for sure he's making great progress. and not only succeed in getting a nitty gritty palms on any human, but such a cute little human female like yourself.

humans are a lot more fragile, smaller, weaker, lesser intelligent beings, almost like a sub species from elves. so that's why you must be taken care of with so much extra love and attentiveness. all this was his reasoning for treating you like a minor being, enabling you and excuses for his weird kinks.

there was no way you'd ever dream of over powering him, not when a large veiny arm wrapped so tightly around your wrists, holding it behind your back, and the other with it's slender long digits effortlessly reaching your g spot.

it was 'bath time' or whatever, which called for a thorough inspection and cleanse. or just another excuse to use your body to his likings.

his tongue lap at your folds and clit, moaning in delight and relishing in all your juices spraying him. his voice muffled by your pussy, making wet sounds as he attempts to praise your gorgeous body: all of which sounds like incohesive unhinged, obsessive rambling of course.

if you ignore this scene and focus on other small things around you maybe you can, somewhat imagine yourself having a luxurious warm bath in the tub, with flowers and scented stuff in the water, scented candles creating a relaxing atmosphere, marvelous one-sided glass view... maybe not the one-sided glass view that's actually a little too scary to think about but yeah, you're having a nice little bath.

the most relaxing bath in the most prettiest and pearliest tiled bathroom you've ever been in.

your insides contorts though and you find yourself coming again undone on those perfectly manicured fingers of his, messing up his perfect face with your essence. your voice is loud and echoes throughout the bathroom, all the way into the bedroom and closet but never enough to each anyone's ears as he's casted multiple protective barrier spells to keep your presence unknown from other elven people. you've came like 5 times already and he won't let you rest, getting high off your pussy juices.

"poor baby, you look so tired, shhh don't worry~ mama will take care of everything, just relax and be good for me, okay? it'll all be over soon, my darling ^ mama will get you all cleaned up and dressed, right after this..." you wish you had the energy to welp out an 'ewwwwww da fuck?!' right about now but you were so weak and constantly sedated. you felt helpless as his bulbous tip hits your pussy, rubbing it back and forth to coat and lubricate himself with your juices. he leisurely teases, making your hole spasm and grasp around nothing, your body reacting in a lovely manner to his advances.

he licks his lips, only putting the tip in before quickly pulling back out. taking his time cause he wants to drive you insane like him. and luckily for him, his mind games always work so well.

his precum leaking and smearing you in the process as he rubs his whole length, measuring your pelvic area with his cock length and soon putting it in to see how far it'll actually go.

you almost blacked out. even though he prepped you well for this it still stings, he's just too big. and you? way too tight, squeezing him like you want every last drop of his seed, has him shivering and grunting in the process.

"fck- you're so tight, baby ngh~"

has him seeing stars and by the time he's balls deep in you and hitting the tip of your womb, you're a drooling and moaning mess. can't even control his obsessive thoughts from spilling out his mouth, he immediately gets to work on those hips too like a wild animal, only sparing a few seconds to sloppily kiss you and slap your thick behind.

it only takes a few minutes before he breaks his load inside you and shifts you into another position, manhandling you and roughing you up like a meat toilet, all for his own enjoyment and pleasure.

his long silky hair tickling your skin. when you think about it, he's so masculine with many feminine traits too, like the perfect balance actually and it is to be expected from an elf. he always wants to be in control, always wants to take care of you like a god watching over his creation. it sorta overlaps with him calling himself your mama but it makes sense in a way. he doesn't see himself as a woman in any sort of way, he just wants unrestricted authority over you.

your tears stream down your cheeks which he licks away and kisses, it only hurts your head trying to rationalize this or even understand it, your vision goes all blurry and for the next few rounds, your in and out of consciousness while being filled.

when you're awake again, you're draped in silk half naked and powdered up, you feel your caretakers strong arms wrapped around you, spooning you as rubs circles into your skin. he's also half naked with nothing but a cloth draped around himself. you both lay on a soft layered bed with many squishy pillows and blankies. fruits, steam veggies and grilled meat laid out on a silver tray for you to enjoy, though your stomach was filled with his cum.

[dollyfiles]

ending your situationship with fwb!rafe

cw: angst, no strings attached, falling for your fwb, unrequited love

rafe cameron had always been the center of attention. with his sun-kissed skin, dark blond hair and reckless charm, he moved through life like nothing could touch him. you knew that. you knew the way girls threw themselves at him, how everyone either wanted to be with him or be him.

and yet, despite all the warnings in your head, and from the people around you, here you were—tangled up in rafe's world, feeling yourself unraveling a little more with each passing day.

it had started so innocently, or so you liked to tell yourself. you and rafe ran in the same circles, both kooks through and through. you two had always been friendly, sharing brief conversations at parties or casual smiles across a room.

to him you were different, though. not in the way every girl liked to think they were, but really different. you never chased him, never begged for his attention, never played the games he was so used to. and maybe that’s why he found himself seeking you out, why he ended up beside you that night at the bonfire, drawn in without even realizing it.

you had been standing alone, watching the flames kiss the sky, when you felt a presence beside you. rafe. his eyes, the color of the sea after a storm, had found yours and held them.

"hey, y/n," he had said, his voice smooth, practiced, but for some reason, it didn’t feel like just a line. "why are you standing over here by yourself?"

you had shrugged, trying to ignore the flutter in your chest. "just thinking." rafe had laughed softly, a sound that sent a chill down your spine. "you think too much. cmon, let's do something about that."

before you knew it, you were walking along the shore, the sound of the waves crashing at your feet. and that's how it started—the late-night talks, the stolen moments, the secret hookups, the way rafe made you feel like you were the only person in the world when he looked at you.

but deep down, you knew it wasn't real. rafe didn't do real. he didn't do commitment or feelings or any of the things you were starting to feel yourself slipping into. and every time he would show up at your door, late and a little tipsy, you would let him in, knowing you were only making it worse for yourself.

but the thing you didn’t know was that he wanted you, wanted the way you looked at him like he was something more than just rafe cameron, the rich kid with too much money and not enough control. but wanting wasn’t the problem. the problem was that he didn’t know how to be what you needed.

he told himself you understood the rules, that you knew what this was. and maybe you did, at first. but then, you started looking at him differently. and rafe? he could feel himself pulling back, even when he didn’t want to.

one night, as you two sat together on his porch, watching the stars, rafe turned to you, a lazy grin on his face. "you're different, you know that?" you had smiled softly, your heart skipping a beat. "different how?"

"i don't know. you don't expect anything from me." it was a lie, though. you might not have said it, but he could feel the weight of what you weren’t saying. so you both just nodded—an unspoken understanding that this, whatever it was, wouldn't last.

and the next day, he had gone back to being rafe—the charming, reckless guy who flirted with every girl and partied like there was no tomorrow. and you had tried to tell yourself that it was fine, that you didn't care, but the truth was, it hurt.

it was after another one of those nights—when you had seen him with another girl at the bar, his arm casually slung around her shoulders—that you realized you had to stop. you couldn't keep doing this. you couldn't keep letting rafe break your heart piece by piece.

the next time he came over, knocking on your window like he always did, you didn't answer. instead, you sat on your bed, staring at the door, willing yourself not to give in. you could hear his voice, calling your name softly, but you stayed still.

after a while, the knocking stopped, and you heard his footsteps retreat. you exhaled, a tightness in your chest you hadn't realized you were holding onto finally loosening.

but the next morning, when you saw him at the beach, rafe acted like nothing had happened. he greeted you with that same easy smile, as if you hadn't just turned him away the night before. and that's when it hit you—he didn't care. he had never cared, not the way you did.

something inside you snapped. you weren’t going to be just another girl in rafe cameron's endless string of flings. you were done waiting for him to care, done with the late-night texts and the empty promises.

that night, there was another party. you showed up, determined not to let rafe get to you. you danced with your friends, laughed loudly, and ignored the way his eyes followed you across the room. but when you barely looked at him, when you smiled at someone else the way you used to smile at him, something in his chest twisted.

halfway through the night, rafe found you. he pulled you aside, his expression serious for once. "why are you acting like this?" he asked, his voice low, frustrated. you crossed your arms, heart pounding in your chest. "like what?"

"like i don't matter anymore." he hated how raw the words sounded, how much truth slipped through the cracks, still, his eyes searched yours, and for the first time, you saw a flicker of something real in them—something vulnerable.

your breath caught, but you shook your head, forcing yourself to stay strong. "because we can't keep doing this, rafe. i can't keep pretending like this doesn't hurt."

he frowned, "i never asked you to pretend.” his jaw tightened. "no, you didn't," you said softly, voice breaking just a little. "but you never gave me a reason not to, either."

for a long moment, rafe didn't say anything. he just stood there, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. he didn’t know what to do or how to make it right. so, he did what he always did when things got too real—he walked away.

you just watched him go, a mixture of relief and sadness swirling inside you. it was over. it had to be. it was better this way.

the rest of the night passed in a blur, and by the time you got home, you felt drained. you lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, replaying the night's events over and over in your head.

your phone suddenly buzzed on the nightstand. you reached for it, expecting another drunken message from one of your friends. but it wasn't. it was rafe.

‘i'm sorry.’

the words stared back at you, simple and yet so heavy. your heart twisted. you wanted to believe him, wanted to think that maybe this time would be different, but you knew better.

and when you didn’t reply this time, and the silence stretched on, rafe realized— maybe you were finally done waiting for him to be ready. and maybe it was better this way, because he wasn’t sure if he ever would be.

tags: @gibson-g1rl @girlyrafe @beausling @bambiangels @rafesheaven @rafeysbangs @rafesbowbunny @rafesangelita @chris444evr @dearapril @drewsephrry @littlelamy @sematarygirls @cherrygirlfriend @anqelrafe @plaidcowboy @inspiredangel @rafekisser @whinyangel @starzify @prncesschloe @kissyrafe @et6rnalsun @fawnhart @rafesweetie @cameronsprincess @figthoughts

[accio-sriracha]

WIP Game

Rules: make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Tag as many people as you have WIPs. People send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, then post a little snippet or tell them something about it!

I was tagged by both @ephemeralstarss and @bradleysass ..... You guys realise I have over 100 wips, right?😭

I literally don't know this many people so OPEN TAGS!! Please tag me in your posts so I can see your wips!!

(Because of the sheer amount, if you want to ask about a fic just ask in the comments of this post and I will respond there, feel free to ask about as many as you'd like!)

All 131 titles after the cut <3

Drarry:

The Honeymoon

What You Think You Know

The Next Morning

Truth Be Told, It Happened Again

What Happened In The Dark

On The Ministry's Galleon

Six Feet Deep

Lovesick

The Slytherin Bet

Wounds That Heal Us

A Heart For The Holidays

The World Around Us

Hopeless Infatuations

Oh, To Be Loathed

The Boy Who Lived

Something To Run To

Panic

Changes

To Capture Or Kill

You Only Live Once

A World On Fire

If Not You Than Nothing

A Marriage of Convenience

Smoke and Mirrors

Empty Promises

First Priorities

Falling into Memories

Professors

Through Dangers Of War

The Scars Kept Hidden

Everything I’m Not

Golden Hours and Pyrrhic Victories

Coffee At Yours

Save The Last Dance For Me

What Once Was Gold

Wolfstar:

Revenge

Hearing You

Dreaming Of You

Clashing Teeth

Looking For This?

Four Places At Once

The Full Moon

Interruptions

Silence

The After Party

The People We Become

If We Should Fall

Waking Up Beside You

Venture or Veritaserum

The Intimacy Of Being Understood

Friends To Lovers (But They Were Never Just Friends)

A Tale From The Beast Himself

Kissing Number Three

An Odd Announcement

Letters From You

Schedule

Head First

Dear You, Love Me

Fresh Coffee and Split Knuckles

Sirius And The Black Family Trauma

Wherefore Art Thou?

The Enchanted Mistletoe

Affection

In Your Shoes

What Once Was Mine

Sirius Black Fucked Everything Up

The War Won't Wait For Us

Catching Feelings

Whatever It Takes

The Summer We Fell

To Ache Is To Be Alive

Of But Flesh And Bones

The Road Trip

How To Prank Sirius Black

Take My Name And Make It Yours

What You Make Of Me

XOXO -Moony <3

Moonlight Miracles

Jegulus:

My Brother’s Best Friend

Stuck In Your Head

I Want You

First Time?

The Night In The Tower

A Hostage Situation

A Good Memory

Who I am (Is In Love With You)

Nice Speech, Potter!

To Be Known

Everything To Lose

Lily’s Ex Boyfriend

To Fall For The Fallen

If Not For Wings

Chasing Stars

The Brother Next Door

The Play

Once Upon A Time

The 7 Stages Of Falling In Love

Jegulily:

Him or Her

Woe Is The Man Who Falls

When Two Becomes Three

Jily:

Soda, Secrets, and Stereos

To Be Together Is To Be Home

Finally

Marylily:

Smoke Hazed Conversations

Dorlene:

What Aligns Within Us

Rosekiller:

Born of Hatred, Living in Fear

General:

Falling Into You

Pretend To Love Me

The Road To Nowhere

Hurts Like Hell

That Time of Month

Making Our Mothers Sad

You Are Not My Father

He Was Mine First

Returned To Sender

Hold Your Tongue

Where The Sun Shines

Marauder Ever After

If It Comes To It

Where The Lines Blur

The Good Brother

James Potter’s Love Affair

The Breakfast Club

The Princes of Polaris

Hey, It’s Me Again.

Fated Misunderstandings

Lily Evans and the Marauders

It’s In The Eyes

The Words You Spoke (And The Ones You Didn’t)

The Stars In Your Name

Life After Death

[hyperfixatorofweirdthings]

Saver of the Haven part 6

Phew this has gotten farther than I expected it

Chapter 6: The Game

Dogday picked a Lil Dogday:Matt, Bubba Bubbaphant:Jerry, KickenChicken:Hayden, Craftycorn:River, Picky Piggy:Emma, and Lil Kissy Missy:Ash.

Poppy picked a Lil Kissy Missy:Avery, Hoppy Hopscotch:Ariana, Picky Piggy:Charlotte, Bubba Bubbaphant:Gerald, Catnap:Artemis, and Bobby Bearhug:Luna.

Kissy Missy picked a KickenChicken:Julian, Hoppy Hopscotch:Ava, Bubba Bubbaphant:Kaden, Picky Piggy:Amelia, Catnap:Finn, and Bobby Bearhug:Liz

Doey picked a Lil Dogday:Liam, Bobby Bearhug:Izzy, Craftycorn:Jade, Lil Kissy Missy:Sage, Catnap:Michael, and a Hoppy Hopscotch: Stephanie.

The rest wanna be "Cheater detectors" that being a KickenChicken:Aden, Lil Dogday:Oliver, Craftcorn:Noah, Medic, and Boogie Bot:Scout.

The captains of course were the toys going against each other. Their little teammates being able to interact with one captain ONCE each. They couldn't try to push them over but they could interact with them in some way.

"Let the game BEGIN!" You yell this before turning around and saying greenlight. You hear the toys cheering for their captain to win. Poppy had a bit of a disadvantage or a pretty big one for being to small so you let her pick ONE other toy to swap with if she ever got tired or had an idea. She could do this a total of three times.

You turn back around after saying red-light. Everyone was completely still. "Phew I thought at least one of you would've messed up." You giggle at the thought a goofy smile on your face. "Oh and another fun little rule for the people on the sidelines. You each can interact with a captain once. You can touch them, tickle them, have fun. Oh and captains you can talk when frozen just don't move your arms and legs and such." You turn back around shouting green light.

You give extra time before you say red light, spinning around. You watch a toy run over to Doey and start climbing up his leg. He was in mid step. "HEY! I SAID TOUCHING NOT CLIMBING!" You send Oliver and Scout over to catch the little KickenChicken. You have them put the toy in a sort of "time out". Doey was using all his will power not to move to get the toy off him. Not because he was tickling him but because he didn't want him to slip and get hurt. You look at Doey giving him a thumbs up.

The captains still weren't talking you knew why Kissy wasn't but the rest could. "You guys know you can talk right it isn't a joke..." Poppy cleared her throat "We are focusing Angel. Do you understand how much focus you have to have to be able to stand still in mid step?!" You look at Doey a look of pure focus on his face. You think for a minute "Hmm I suppose but I still think it's funny no one is trash talking." You shrug turning around.

You gave less time spinning around the second you said red light. Kissy had lost her balance falling forward. The other three took a gasp of breath. They couldn't run over to make sure she was alright... You tell the "Cheater detectors" to stay near your spot. You run over to Kissy helping her up. "You alright Kissy?" You ask looking up at her. She nodded quickly looking down at her legs. No scratches. ...But you seem to got it.

She walked to the beginning her teammates double checking she was fine and chatting about a game plan. You wait for them to finish zoning out on Poppy while in your thoughts. She waited a while before addressing it. "Uhh do you need something..." You shook your head back and forth quickly, "Sorry just...thinking." She had to stop herself from shaking her head so instead she just responded with a thick mhm.

So far Doey was in the lead till you caught him trying to tickle Dogday. "HEY DOEY! I see that mister!" His whole team groaned when his red teeth showed in a smile. "Sorry." You just put your hand on your head shaking it. "You really are something." After toys kept getting close and being sent back you started feeling tired, all of a sudden.

You decide to swap with Oliver letting him be the person who's it. He eagerly swaps with you not even hesitating. But the real Dogday was questioning you. "Are you alright Angel?" He asked when Oliver turned around. It takes you a moment to realize he was talking to you before you gave him a slight nod. "Just...tired." He hesitates before nodding and freezing due to Oliver turning back around. Everytime you looked up from looking at the ground someone was always making sure you were ok. Even the toys on the sidelines.

You decided to leave the game for a minute to grab your journal. Maybe it could help you fight your exhaustion. You wave a hand when everyone asked where you were going. "Just continue the game I'll be back in a minute." You give them a tired smile before walking into the house. You find your journal in the corner of your bedroom. You grab your phone and a pen and make your way back outside. Poppy was in the lead when you went back out. Her team cheering her on.

This was the point her team started trying to tickle Dogday. Trying to get him to fall behind, but he stayed strong. You giggled the whole time wondering if he was gonna break. But he never did. You made a mental note not to mess with him. You started drifting off even while you were on the ground writing. So you decide to stand back up locking your journal and setting it on the ground. You stretch and yawn before walking over to Doey. A scared look spreads across his face as you walk over. But instead you just leaned against him. A small protest was let out but before he could try to get you off Oliver turned around. Causing him to grumble.

You walk away from Doey walking over and petting Dogday. He almost kicked his leg but he couldn't, not yet. You then walked over to Kissy tickling her. She giggled slightly but didn't move at all. You then tried to tickle Poppy but it didn't work. You sighed walking back to your spot. You sit down pure exhaustion all over your face. You must've drifted off...

You woke up toys surrounding you checking if you were ok. A scared look fell over your face when you realized you fell asleep. You jumped up telling everyone you were ok both short and tall. You looked up and down assuring everyone. You tried backing away to get some room only for them to follow. You tried telling them you were fine again and asking them to back up. Only a few did. But then it happened. You coughed, a sickly cough. Everyone froze staring at you.

Uh oh. You grab your journal and make a run for it. You try to make it to the house before being overwhelmed by so many toys. The little ones fell behind but Dogday, Kissy, and Doey were faster than you. You knew that. You used all your energy to make it in the house sliding into your room and slaming the door shut locking it.

Doey slammed into the door making it rattle. (Would've broken it had he not slowed down) "HEY! YOU GET OUT OF THERE RIGHT NOW!" You could just imagine his red teeth. It was Kevin and he was not happy.

Dogday and Kissy both watched as Doey tried slipping under the door. He knew it was wrong but he had to take care of you.

You didn't wanna hurt him so instead you backed away going into the bathroom after grabbing a pair of PJs. He couldn't come into the room if you said you were changing. Right? Hopefully.

He made it into your room looking for you. He heard you in the bathroom ready to slip under when he heard you scream "IM CHANGING! IF YOU COME IN I WILL NOT HESITATE TO STEP ON YOU!" He stopped immediately. He had to respect you privacy. So he sat on the ground heavily criss crossed apple sauce with his arms in his lap.

You got dressed quickly just in case he got impatient and tried to get in again. You sat on the toilet letting out another loud cough. You groaned. You felt awful. No way you were sick! No wonder you felt so tired you were fighting off a whole sickness. Haven't you been through enough? You looked at yourself in the mirror. You were disgruntled, you had bags under your eyes and a sad expression. You tried smiling but it seemed so fake.

Eventually you walked out. Doey was surprised when you did jumping up to grab your shoulders. He looked into your eyes. You tried smiling. But it only made him grimace more. Your smile was clearly fake. He shook his head, "How about you rest? Your clearly not feeling good." You shake your head the second he said rest. "I still have to make dinner. Now I gotta check who was in the lead when the game...ended." "No." He said it so sternly you couldn't help but be offended, "Excuse me?" "You are more than exhausted, you look like if you take another step you might melt." "I'm highly capable of caring for myself and the other kids. And you. Just because you are mentally older than me and should be older than me doesn't mean you are!" You jab a finger in his chest to get the point a cross.

He takes a long time to answer. Too long. You tried walking away but he held you firmly. "You. Will. Rest." He said each word with some distaste. As if he'd just ate a lemon. His teeth flickered in his dough causing you to stop moving. Doey could be threatening when he wanted to be. He was really scary. You knew very well one wrong move and you would be forced. Even if it meant strapping you down. You took a deep breath before pushing his hands off your shoulder. "I will make dinner. Then I will lay down. Ok?"

He took a minute to answer before he decided, "Fine. But the second you finish I will be putting you to sleep." You walk past him finding Dogday next to the door. He yelped. He was listening in.

"Hey Dogday." You give him a smile followed by a hard cough and groan. "Are you alright Angel. You don't look...good." You try for a smile again "Haven't felt better." You walk past him before he could utter another word. You make your way to the other toys. "Soo who was in first when we ended the game?" The critters started spitting out their captains names. "Woah there! I need the truth people." They stop talking before pointing at Dogday behind you. You turn around, "So you were in the lead?" He shook his head weakly watching as you turned back around.

Eventually the toys picked what they wanted. Waffles. Why they picked waffles? You had no clue, but you got to work. You checked the time, "5:30" well you better try to make these quick. You eventually started making them. Slowly but surely you made about five plates, handing them out. You gave one waffle to each toy with syrup and butter of course. You tried going fast but didn't wanna hurt yourself with the waffle iron.

You let out a tired sigh as you finished the last few waffles. You were fighting exhaustion at this point pushing yourself to continue. You hand Kissy and Poppy their plates with a gentle smile. "Here you two go!" They stared at you for a minute after grabbing the plates. You looked completely out of your mind. Bags under your eyes, messy hair, red nose, a crazed smile on your face. It seemed like that smile was the only thing keeping you tethered to the ground. They walked away letting you continue your job. You finished, giving Dogday and Doey their plates as they gave you the same concerned and worried look. Before they could start talking you walked away waving your hand.

You walked into the bathroom looking st yourself in the mirror. Goodness you looked like a mess, no wonder you were getting weird looks. You try to tame your hair with a brush, after taking some cough medicine in hopes it'll help. You let loose another cough. You try blowing your nose to see if it'll help, even just a little. But of course it does nothing really.

You walk out finding Dogday and Doey missing. You shrug going to grab your journal and pen. You would lay down, but technically you didn't have to sleep yet. You walk into your room getting comfy on your bed. You write for a while, when you hear a knock on your door.

"Come in!" You holler the effort made you cough. As you locked your book, you see an orange paw open the door. Dogday slips in Doey and Kissy and finally Poppy following. You tilt your head slightly confused why they were all coming in. "Hmm? What do you four need?" Dogday clears his throat before talking glancing nervously at the other three. They nodded their heads as if to tell him to continue. "We are just...really worried about you Angel." You practically laugh, "Worried? About me?"

"Yes. Angel. We all are worried about you." You start to talk when Doey cuts you off. "You haven't been eating or sleeping nearly as much as you should. Nor have you been taking care if yourself!" You look at Doey. You climb out of bed besides the many protests. "First of all..." You glare at all of them before pointing at Doey. "...you sir starved and exhausted yourself to care for these toys." You make a swing of both arms displaying all the toys here in your house. He tries to cut in but you keep talking your glare unwavering. "Second of all I am the adult here. I'm in charge. I've been through enough to know my boundaries. I don't have enough money for me and everyone else to enjoy three meals everyday. So maybe I skipped a few days so what? What if I'm sick? I still gotta run this place." You stare at Doey and the rest of them waiting for one to speak up.

"You are also a human." The sentence feels like a stab in your chest. The look on their faces was enough for it to hurt even more. "You are all human as much as I. You all know that." Doey quickly warps his hand to show a small version of himself before talking again. "This is not something humans can do last I checked. IM NOT HUMAN. I'm far from it at this point." He looks away, looking at a spot on the floor. You step until you are standing right in front of Doey. He looks back up at you a frown drawn on his face. "You're human enough to stand in front of me right now. You have all the functions a human does, slightly different maybe but still. So what if your made of play-doh? Last I checked..." You choked back tears "...you are still huggable." When you said this part you wrap him in a hug, barely able to hug around his whole body. Letting tears slip down your face as you hugged tighter.

He was surprised you hugged him to say the very least. All of the toys were surprised. They all felt bad for making you cry. It was already sad when they saw others cry. But for some reason seeing your actual tears made it hurt twice as much.

You hugged him tighter when he tried to pull away murmuring. "Just because you are different, doesn't mean you aren't human." He looked at the other toys not sure what to do. He pulls you away from him, holding your shoulders. "Now what you need is some sleep. You still need it more than us." You pause for a minute before trying to convince them you were fine. You weren't tired. But they quickly shut you down and put you into bed. They tucked you in and left. Only Dogday stayed watching.

He wanted to make sure you didn't get up. Sort of like... a guard dog. You watch him pace back and forth glancing up at you before looking back down. You started feeling exhaustion take hold and you slipped into your dreams.

You found yourself back at Playtime co. But something was wrong... You were controlling your body but at the same time you weren't. You started running. Running until you could barely do it anymore.

You found yourself at Safe Haven. But... Carcasses of the once cheerful toys were littered around, on the floor, skewed about. You gasp in horror. "N-no, no. NO NO NO!" You started running further in. You find Doey holding a Bobby Bearhug.

He looks up at you. Before he could start talking you start yelling panic clear in your voice. "WHERES DOGDAY!?" He looks at you anger, worry, sadness warping his face. "Dogdays dead. They're all dead. And it's ALL YOUR FAULT!" He jabs a finger at you before continuing to talk. "It's YOU and POPPY. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"

You felt yourself choking over your own grief before talking. "I- didn't do anything. Doey. Kevin. You know that." He freezes. You rarely called him by his old names. But this made him even angrier. "THE GENTLE VOICES LIE. I KNOW WHAT THEY DO! THEY LIE! AND THEY HURT! AND THEY POKE!" You step back clearly horrified out of your mind. "ILL KILL YOU!" You see an exit just to the left of Doey prepared to run for your life.

The rubble crushed him. You let loose a cry of pain. Before he came out. Warped. Not the Doey you knew and love. He started chasing you, you ran, and ran. You tried to get away from him without hurting him. But the answer hit you like a brick wall. You had to. You start using the gas against him, cutting into him with the saw. Trying to talk him out of his anger. But it was no use. Everytime you brought the saw down you looked away tears continuing to fall.

He melts into the floor you thought for sure he was dead falling to your knees. Taking multiple minutes before you continued, wiping away tears. He appeared out of no where. He grabbed you causing you to shriek. You realize what has to be done. You took the flare and shot it at the gas tank. You pull the hydraulic press down on him prepared for the worse.

He holds it up talking, saying he wasn't good enough. You let out cries. "Y-you... you are good enough!" Y-your ev-everything I've ever...wanted!" But he lost his grip the press finally falling on him. You cry even harder dropping next to his head holding it in your lap sobbing. He muttered two apologies. While you yelled at him, saying he didn't need to apologize.

And he was gone.

You grab his hat holding it to your chest. You would never forget him.

The nightmare melts before you stand before Dogday. He was chained legless. As he was when you found him. But this time.. you were frozen. You couldn't or...wouldn't run forward to help him. You yelled but nothing came out. He talked sadly to you. Calling you Poppy's Angel. You screamed even louder when he said for you to leave. The critters crawled into him making you finally able to cry out. He yells at you to leave him. Your instincts take over, causing you to start running. You have to avoid him. Crying as you did so.

The nightmare once again falls apart this time you were with Kissy and Poppy. Ollie was talking to you guys. Or... the prototype. When he said this Poppy was shocked and Kissy started shaking. After the prototype continued to speak Poppy runs off you scream at her as she does. But then the beeping starts. You freak out not sure what to do. But it's to late. You find yourself being held only by Kissy. Her arm starts to rip. You hear a loud tear of fabric. You yelp her name as you fell.

You wake up with a cry, warm tears falling down your face. You whip your head around seeing if anyone is there. You jump up. You have to make sure it was just a dream...just a dream.

You walk out immediately seeing Doey supposedly sleeping with a bunch of critters on him. You let out a sob of relief. It was just a nightmare(s).

You walk back to your room thinking no one was the wiser. And sit back down on your bed. You were breathing heavily as you tried to bring yourself back together to try to go back to sleep. You hear a knock on your door seeing an orange hand slide through. "May I come in?" "I- uh...sure...Doey." He walks in a clear look of concern on his face as he looks you up and down.

He stops at your face seeing your tears. You try wiping them away quickly. "I-its nothing. Don't worry about it... Doey." You mumble while looking at the ground. "You clearly aren't fine. What happened?"

"I- had a few nightmares, nothing to worry about bud." He stares at you clearly unconvinced. "About... what?" You sit there wondering if you should talk about it or keep it to yourself. You must've been thinking for a long time because you felt a hand touch your knee. "You-don't have to share if you don't want to..." You shake your head. "I-its fine I just...it was unnerving to say the very least."

You sit still for a moment before talking. You explained your nightmares. Doing everything in your power not to start crying once again. His face changes after each sentence you said. Surprised, scared, horror. After you finished he just...stared at you unsure what to say.

He clears his throat before talking, "They're just nightmares though...I get they can be. Scary. But you don't have to worry about it. I'm right here." He ends with a warm smile on his face. You shake your head slightly before letting out a sigh. "They...felt so real is all. Makes them more...creepy." You crawl back into your bed watching as Doey stood in the doorway for a minute.

He eventually left once he was sure you'd be alright. You fall back asleep.

The toys were worried about you. First you starve yourself and exhaust yourself just for them... you get sick and push yourself. And now your getting nightmares. They all felt horrible. They started a certain... group/project. One toy had to be with you at all times. A small one or a bigger body it didn't matter.

You wake up a little Bobby Bearhug snuggled with you. "Aww Hiya Izzy!" You knew it was Izzy due to her little bracelet with her name on it. The critters were trying to make name tags so you could tell the difference between them better. She sits up before crawling onto your chest. "Goodmorning mom!" You giggle picking her up as you sit up.

As you got up to make breakfast you heard yelling. You couldn't figure out who was talking but you ran out of your room into the living room. You find a catnap and dogday arguing while Dogday tried to break them up. You walk over Izzy on your heels.

"Hey what's going on?" You try rubbing the sleep out of your eyes as you stand next to Dogday. "These two got into a fight. Doey isn't here so I'm on argument dury." He let's out a sigh as he glances over at you. He thought you were a little toy but once he say your socked feet and made his way up he realized it was you. "Oh! Hi Angel. I- didn't realize it was you." Yoy give him a smile "No worries. How about help out though? You look tired."

"I'm fine. The toys just think they can get away with stuff now that Doey isn't...in the room." He paused picking his words carefully. "Well I can still help!" You sit next to the two toys still arguing. They were arguing about who was the better care taker... you or Doey. The catnap was saying Doey and the dogday was saying you.

"Hey you guys." You smile at them. They jumped when they heard your voice immediately stopping the argument. "H-hi mom." The dogday let's out...almost scared of you. "So what's going on? What's with the yelling?" The dogday clears his throat to tell you when the catnap cuts him off. "We were ju-" "We were arguing about who was the better care taker!" You think for a moment before deciding Doey was in fact better. But to your disappointment when you said this the dogday shook his head.

"You're better! You've given us more food, helped us get out, and gave us another chance at life. Don't get me wrong Doey was...amazing but..." You let out a sigh. You look at the bracelet on the dogdays arm. It was Oliver. "Oliver I know I am a good parent figure but Doey kept you save far longer than I have. I may be able to give more but... Doey did everything he could for you guys. I even think he's better than me." Your smile grows even bigger as Oliver starts thinking. "I guess but I think you both are...good care takers." He looked up at you a bit of a shine in his eyes. "Of course we are. We are both doing everything we can for you toys."

Eventually Oliver and the catnap who ended up being Artemis hugged and apologized. You got up giving Dogday a thumbs up which he returned gratefully.

You ask the question burning inside of you. "Where is Doey?" Dogday freezes and so do all the toys. "I-uh he's just...busy." Hands on your hips you look Dogday up and down. He wasn't lying, but he wasn't telling you the whole truth.

You decide to walk away but stop when you see the calender littered with names. You look at today and see Izzy's name written in red sharpie. "Huh." You look down at Izzy pointing at the calender. "What's this about?" She looks up at you tilting her head before responding. "Oh! That's to show what toy stays with you what days."

"What..?" "It's a project! A toy always has to be with you so this shows what toy will be with you, each day." You scan the calendar seeing each toys name written in their corresponding color. Doey being written in all four of his colors. A bigger body always had you on Saturday. You wondered why but shook your head looking at the other names. Izzy doesn't have you again until next month.

Poppy always had you with Kissy. You felt like a little kid once again. But the toys were worried about you. So they were just taking precautions.

But you still wonder. What's Doey up to.

[synergysilhouette]

10 more BG3 headcanons I have (some thirst)

Round 2! Hope you'll forgive me for one of these in particular; I know it was kinda wild. And I should warn you; some of these aren't really headcanons, but things I wish we got during the game. Didn't wanna make another "nitpick" post though since I didn't have enough. Make sure to check out my first 10 headcanons!

Astarion became more faithful if he romanced a cleric/devout Tav--Call me a sap for divine inspiration, but seeing how Astarion mentioned how no god ever answered his prayers throughout the years, I like the idea that a cleric Tav (or at least a Tav with reverence for a god/gods) inspired a bit of religiousness in Astarion; nothing elaborate, but something along the lines of "the god(s) you worship must care about me because they brought you to me, and you saved me"-type thing. I kinda have a similar headcanon for Wyll since he mentioned something similar about gods giving him the cold shoulder, but for some reason, I keep imagining him being more secular, though perhaps he does have a bit more respect for the gods.

2. Wyll and Tav's first child (after Lily) is named after his father--I remember that if you tell him you want to start a family (kinda sucks he's the only guy I can have the dialogue option with, but I get it), that his father would like someone to carry his name. I'm pretty sure he meant the Ravengard name, but I do find it cute if they just said "screw it, we're gonna give our child your exact name." Ulder can be a unisex name...right?

3. Omeluum helps us if we rescued him--This is directly contradictory with canon, but I wanted it so bad. It doesn't feel fair that Omeluum is the most helpful mind-flayer, but there's no option to have him be the mind flayer who assists Tav's team. It'd be a nice alternate option to having the Emperor or turning Orpheus or a member of your team into an MF.

4. Wyll expresses interest in becoming a wizard if Mizora's pact is broken--Perhaps this is due to respecing ALL of my team into wizards based on my gaming style, but I don't put it past Wyll to miss his warlocks abilities, and since he'd wisely not sell his soul to a demon after being free of Mizora and not have the time to go through a whole wizard education, Gale tutors him in their free time, and he eventually becomes an accomplished Bladesinger.

5. Astarion's fed on everybody and (mostly) no one's picked up on it--When Astarion mentions that he'll visit Tav and be careful not to wake them, it kinda makes me feel like he's made his rounds, but isn't gonna mention that since the team didn't trust him when he was outed as a vampire, and telling them that he's already crossed some boundaries would probably get him killed.

6. Tav is on frequent baby duty if romancing Lae'zel (unless githyanki)--This is a very selective headcanon dependant on MY Tav, but I do imagine Lae'zel leaves Xan with Tav whenever she has important duties, though she grows concerned that Tav will coddle them too much (unless they're also githyanki and they're helping her in her war against Vlakith). Otherwise, I could imagine Shadowheart's parents or Lord Ravenguard trying to help babysit.

7. The hyena from the beginning of Act II in the Shadowcursed lands returns and stands by us--I love "Speak with Animals," and I didn't appreciate it until a couple playthroughs in. I love the idea that upon being freed, he joins us in camp and befriends Scratch and the Owlbear cub.

8. Gale and Lae'zel are especially attracted to those with a lot of junk in the trunk--Random, I know, but it is a headcanon. Of course, this means almost nothing when in my mind, all the characters (particularly the men) are built with Rule 34 proportions, but I do love the idea that Lae'zel has a specific lust for thicc people (perhaps it's just a gith thing due to their skinnier body types), and Gale is easily flustered/seduced by someone of that build. I kinda like the idea that everyone in the camp is drawn to that, but Gale is more obviously distracted and Lae'zel is more obviously attracted; Astarion and Shadowheart keep their desires close to the vest so you don't have power over them, while the others are merely polite not to blatantly devour someone cakked up.

(Side note: Man, I wish we had a glute slider like Veilguard had--but a GOOD one.)

9. Gale is blissfully unaware of his (physical) allure--No idea why, but Gale always gave me "hot dad" vibes where youngsters are always drawn to him and attracted to him, and he doesn't understand the lust directed at him. He thinks himself handsome, but not really a magnet. As such, whenever people flock to him, he (sometimes) mistakenly assumes it's due to his magical acumin, being a hero of Baldur's Gate, being a chosen of Mystra, etc. When in reality, it may just be that he's the hot wizard. He always has a full classroom as a professor, in any case. (And this as hilariously ironic because I imagine he's very horny. I have a situation I imagine where he sends an astral projection to Tav in public that is accidentally very explicit.)

10. The Spawn in the Underdark offer a haven from Minthara and the drow--Even if she sides with Tav's good nature, Minthara is evil-leaning, and can go about going to war with one of the biggest drow houses. Given drow ruthlessness and sexism, I do like the idea that if the spawn are sent to the Underdark, whether ruled by Astarion or not, and they offer a haven from the horrific nature, and are on the verge of creating a peaceful enclave within the Underdark (and maybe offering a transactional relationship of protection in exchange for blood?)

(Note: Ignore the black coverings; apparently this is a pic from a bug that happened a few years ago.)

Hope you enjoyed these headcanons! Do you have any we share?

[sketchehm]

wait I was being a bit of a spreen pov olo so I didn't catch any more drama 👀👀👀 sharing is caring

So there has been a lot bans due to people not following the rules(metagaming leads to being banned for 24hrs) or being disrespectful to the event organizers (*cough*daarick*cough*) but I lack the specifics for a lot of that

Though one person was banned because his *mod* was shit talking the event and so the organizers decided to ban the streamer??? Made no fucking sense and enough people defended him that he was allowed back on

There's this one instance of where a streamer I think created an area where his building was the "church" and the guy running it was really happy about it and even the admins said don't raid the church. But then people raided it :/ and the guy got really upset and was crying on stream :(!

Oh there was also a couple who...broke up in rust. His gf literally broke up with him through rust. That was fucking insane. Apparently it's cause the guy was being teased by others that he sucks at the game(basically rping) and the gf was embarrassed by it and decided to dump him over that?? That guy was...kinda venting on stream and being sad about it and just kept streaming and I was like BRO stop playing!! (He was also weepy...chat was saying he really loved her...)

Then there's the couple who were cheating with scripts/hacks. WHICH WAS INSANE. So they were caught cause the gf did a Sus move on her stream and that clip (and previous streams) were brought into investigation. And then other people found clips of her bf ALSO having the same Sus movement. Basically the hack was so there was no recoil/stray aiming when shooting, meaning you'd always land your shot. And gf had turned it on by accident and checking if it was on during stream lmao

So they were both banned and reported for cheating on Steam. AND LIKE. The guy went to do an interview thing and was saying like...'ohh I didn't cheat but my gf totally did that's on her. But I didn't use scripts, what instead I was doing was metagaming!' (Still breaking the rules?? But doesn't mean permaban) and it's like, he was clearly trying to distract from him cheating by saying that. It was. The dumbest shit I have ever heard.

Also the people interviewing him were like, so I heard you steam account was also banned because the system also caught you cheating after it was reported and the guy was like no I'm not banned, I'm just suspended for 3 days FYI :^) And so the interviewer looks up his account and literally had the "this account is permabanned" symbol or something idk and they're like BRO! You can't lie to us about that

Also also. The organizers nerfed players who had a shit ton of playtime to even out the playing field with the noobs and so everyone can be on equal ground ya know? SO LIKE. This guy ALSO lied about his play time. Bro had maybe like 7k hours or something in rust but he used a new steam account that had only 300 hours on it meaning he wouldn't get nerfed and could use better weapons...... And the organizers were like...why did you lie about that and the guy kept going, well my old account had those hours and I sold that account so I only have 300 hours on this new account. And he kept saying that over and over. LIKE THAT ANSWERED ANYTHING.

People have been metagaming a lot against our guys I guess for clout or something so that's also been annoying :/ ruined the fun a couple of days...There was one instance where they were going to raided someone and apparently 4-5 other teams then ambushed them as they were raiding and it was like??? How did everyone organize that??? It was shitty :/ (but our guys basically won against all those shitters LMAO)

Erm...that's all I know :3!

[wolfwarrior142]

My guy don't describe the random lost scientist guy that way to Rayla of all people. That literally just describes Callum.

[jaypgartifacts]

a weird guy appear

[themachinethatdoeseverything]

GUYS IN JAIL CELLS

[homoeroticvillain]

actually me watching a bunch of dnp and thinking about blakeworth go really well together because i use phan rules when writing how blakeworth refer to each other, by that i mean vague terms like partner or soulmate or whatever rather then anything more uhh specific

[mieltelecheycrema]

ough nightmare. I swear I’ve had this game guy appear in my nightmares before and that actually scares me

[followerofmercy]

Networking/Knowing A Guy: A Guide

This is the autism website. Now, as an extension of the power of love and friendship, there are few things more useful than Knowing A Guy. Knowing A Guy means you have a support network. Knowing a plumber, or a tax accountant, or just that one dude that's really fucking good at finding the information you need when you're really overwhelmed, can be the difference between being able to pay rent and having a fun party with friends to fix your shit.

How does one end up Knowing A Guy? It's a skill you can develop called Networking and it is one of the foundations of society. Unfortunately making those connections with people is fucking hard and nobody makes a tutorial for it. So, here you go:

The golden rule is you scratch my back and I scratch yours

It is necessary for survival to seek out useful people

Great news! Everyone is useful in some form or fashion - including you! When given the opportunity to learn about someone, do it! Extroversion does not come naturally to some people and that's okay. Just take whatever falls in your lap.

Types of usefulness: trade skills, connections of their own, personality you jive with, pleasant to talk to, niche interest in shared hobby, security - the list is pretty much endless. I know a guy that lives in the metro area - no job, no major hobbies, inoffensively annoying to me personally, kinda ignorant, not attractive to me, but you know what? He knows how the fuck to get around the city by foot. My rural-raised ass APPRECIATES the guide.

Remember important information: general personality, background, skillset, likes and dislikes. You can find this information by making smalltalk about their life. There is no such thing as pointless conversation. (Yes, even the annoying smalltalk)

The more people you know, the higher the likelihood that one of them will be useful in a given situation - or will know someone who is.

It is overwhelming. In a given clique/community/workspace/whatever, there is A Guy Who Knows The Other Guys. This Guy is a shortcut. Find them. They're often elderly, extroverted, a little bit annoying, a secretary or in some otherwise forward-facing position. Look for people that are gossipy/talk about other people a lot but not in negative ways. If they constantly talk shit, they'll talk shit about you too. They're still useful but be careful with the information you share

You do not have to like someone for them to be useful.

You do not have to like someone for them to be useful.*

If you have low self esteem, you're going to feel like you're using people. You're not. That's the devil talking. People like feeling valued and the connections you are making are the threads holding community together. Recognize people for their talents. It's only a problem when you're taking advantage of people

So: don't feel scummy about it. You're an animal. You have to claw out your right to survive and people will respect you more for it.

Luckily mutualism is the name of the game in the animal kingdom. Offer something back. The foundation of a Know A Guy relationship is Mutual Benefit

Sometimes that Mutual Benefit is just spreading news of the The Guy far and wide. My plumber friend is my actual friend and I love her to death, but I'm maintaining our backscratch relationship by pimping out her plumbing business to anyone that'll listen

Food is a good Mutual Benefit. People across cultures for all of human history have bonded over food. I have good success asking people for a favor and then offering to buy them lunch in return **

General compensation is also good. Offer a service in return and always do your best to offer financial compensation as appropriate. Having your plumber friend take a look at your drain: doable with a case of beer. Having your plumber friend redo the pipes in your entire house? You need to pay for that.

Being transactional is not necessarily a bad thing. I would advise against keeping an itemized list of things owed, but fish don't seek out cleaner shrimp just because they enjoy their company. Everyone gets something

Unfortunately being extroverted and generally personable is a huge benefit here, but that's the value of the Guy That Knows A Guy. There's someone out there that has consolidated All The Guys so you don't have to be the local expert. Always remember nobody can do everything and you don't need to master every skill

* This is the foundation of a functioning community. I have many acquaintances that I find incredibly annoying. They include doctors, welders, artists, social workers, lawyers, construction crew and random fuckers at the grocery store. I do not hang out with them. I do not have to in order to maintain a civil Know A Guy relationship. I can drop them useful tidbits and fuck right off so I don't have to spend any more time than necessary with them

** People may assume romantic intent. Be prepared for that. I generally denote that it's a friendly/work lunch by calling them bro at some point if they're my age. Otherwise my general demeanor is sufficient to show that I do this with everyone

Source: personal experience, mother's teachings of crime, booth vending and poverty

[tsukiflwr]

ᶻ 𝘇 𐰁 .ᐟ THINGS ENHA DO THAT MAKES YOU SECOUND-GUESS YOUR 'FRIENDSHIP'

𝓅airing ∿ hyung line! enha x f!reader ᰔ 𝒽eadcanons ; fluff, friends to lovers, 𝓌: none that I know of 𐙚 𝓌c 1682 ᝰ.ᐟ 𝓇oro's note. i did not intend for these to be so long ﹒ ꒰ 𝓁ibrary ꒱ + 𝓂aknae ver

LEE HEESEUNG ∿ being touchy

you were used to heeseung’s touch. the way he would rest his hand on your lower back to alert you of his presence, the lingering hugs where his hands would hold your waist, how he would wrap his arm around your shoulders whenever the two of you stood or sat next to each other, his fingers absentmindedly tracing shapes on your shoulder as he talked and laughed with your friends. 

and the little things like reaching over to put on your seatbelt for you, holding your hand while crossing the road or following the sidewalk rule, pressing his chest back up against your chest as he helped you reach for things on a higher shelf . . . they didn't seem so little to you anymore. 

the lingering hugs lasted longer, his arm that used to rest on your shoulders moved to your waist to hold you closer instead. He would play with your fingers when you guys would binge watch shows in the living room, he would rest his hand on your thigh whenever he sat next to you, playing with the hem of your top. His fingers would linger on your face to softly caress your skin whenever he would tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. 

he didn’t touch his other friends like how he touched you, he certainly didn't pull them to sit on his lap when he played video games like he did with you. Or how he would cuddle you on the couch as you watched movies, his fingers absentmindedly caressing your sides while he placed soft kisses on your cheek, forehead or temple. Yeah, he definitely didn't do that with his other friends . . . 

you knew that he was aware of how it was affecting you, and you also knew that he enjoyed every minute of it. giving you that innocent teasing smile when he felt your heartbeat faster against his chest, or when he notices that flustered smile on your lips. deep down you knew the reason why he touched and looked at you like that – and he knew it too. 

PARK JAY ∿ spoiling you

you noticed jay’s habit of buying things for you very early in your friendship. whenever the two of you went out to get food he always made sure to pay the bill, quickly grabbing it before you could even see the amount, waving off your protests with a sweet smile. even when you were the one to make the plans he always found a way to pay first. when you had brought it up to him he just gave you that smirk as he said “Is it so bad that I want to treat you?” 

when the two of you went shopping together, he always paid attention to the things your eyes would linger on but decided not to get it because it cost too much, sneaking the items in his basket to buy them for you, along with things he just wanted to get for you. he didn't even bother to ever look at the price tag, knowing that it was going to be worth it seeing that smile on your face. 

he would bring you home items from when he went on trips with his friends/family, he would come up with excuses like ‘i thought of you when i saw it’ or ‘it's just a little gift‘ and one that never failed to make you a flustered mess was ‘I saw it and knew you would look pretty in it’ he had to know he was making you feel things when he said things like that . . . 

you noticed how jay would always playfully complain about buying things for his other friends, saying that they could get it themselves, but with you he did it without a second thought. you weren't the only one to notice that. your fellow shared friends had noticed it too, and of course they had to tease jay about it. but he wouldn't let it bother him, he’d continue to spoil you, buying you anything that reminded him of you. 

you’d wake up to a beautiful bouquet of fresh flowers outside your door every week, and almost every time you went to collect your packages there were always extra one’s, always with a sweet little note from jay ‘thinking on you’ ‘wear this tonight, i'm taking you out’ the gifts soon turned more romantic, domestic if you really think about it. but your relationship with him really changed once he gifted you that beautiful silver necklace with the letter ‘J’. 

he loved watching you absentmindedly fidget with the necklace as you happily talked with your friends, or how you would always admire how pretty it looked decorating your neck. he loved to softly tug on the chain to gain your attention, or to use it to pull you closer to him. he didn't care who the two of you were with, he’d stop in the middle of a conversation to reach towards your neck and gently pull the necklace that slipped under your top, adjusting it so the ‘J’ could be seen by everyone . . . you both knew he was irrevocably claiming you as his. 

SIM JAKE ∿ never corrects it when people assume your his girlfriend

you and jake have always been close, ever since the two of you met as young children – both of you were ‘forced’ to come along with your moms to a nice lunch between old friends. the two of you sat at the table, talking quietly and giggling as you raced each other to finish the mazes on the children's menus that were given. your mothers both smiling at the friendship blooming between the two of you. jake would refuse to admit it now, but his young self-did shed a few tears when he had to leave, not wanting to be away from his ‘pwetty friend’ 

as the years went on you only got closer with jake, he was your person . . . and you were his. but not only did he get closer to you emotionally, but also physically. and it was something that everyone noticed, the two of you grew up together hearing the hushed whispers of your moms giggling about how they would be in-laws in the future. So the topic of you two being together was something you were used to. 

it was a popular misconception – that the two of you were together. anyone would think you were – with how close, touchy, and the way you guys looked at each other. And jake ever the polite, would say “oh – no we're just friends”. . .  but jake found it unnecessary to correct the misconception as his feelings for you grew stronger. 

he liked to see the flustered smile decorate your lips whenever someone mistakenly called you, his girlfriend. he found it adorable how shy and awkward you would get, stumbling over your words. he also really loved that moment of bliss where he could fantasize that the two of you were together – that you were actually his girlfriend. that him taking you to that cafe you loved wasn't just a friendly outing but instead a date. 

you didn't know how to bring it up to him, that you noticed how he stopped correcting people, that he would always pull you closer to him when it happened. or how you noticed that big grin would always form on his lips after. that bliss you felt in that moment would quickly turn into confusion as your mind raced with thoughts on why he didn't correct them. 

was it because he was just polite, that he didn't want to make the person uncomfortable by correcting them? – you really hoped that it wasn't just because he was polite. You wanted it to be because he wanted you too – that you weren't the only one to have those silly little fantasies of the two of you together . . . 

PARK SUNGHOON ∿ being protective and possessive

one thing you admired about Sunghoon was how protective he was, to his family, to his friends, to you . . . with years of being best friends with him you didn't know why suddenly started to get so flustered whenever he got protective of you. maybe it was because his protectiveness was almost always accompanied with his possessiveness, and God was it hot . . . 

he always follows the sidewalk rule with you and walks you back safely to your car / apartment etc., he never sits with his back to the door when you are out at a restaurant, all he wants is you to be safe. at parties he always had his arm around your waist, giving his best intimidating look to any guy who tried to come up to you, and if you were at the party without him, he always made sure to check on you through the night, staying up despite the tiredness just in case you called for a ride home. 

he wasn't just protective of your physical but also your mental, he knew you better than anyone else so he could easily see whenever you were overwhelmed or going through something. he’d pull you somewhere quiet, he was there to listen to you talk about what's bothering you and giving you the best advice he could, and if you weren't in the mood to talk, he would do his best to distract you from your negative thoughts.

he sees your ex at a party? he's making sure he doesn’t come and bother you and get your mind all messed up after months of you getting better . . . he was very sensitive with you, especially if someone brought you up, he's always quick to shut down anything that's not appropriate. 

everyone always assumed that the two of you were together, he was always so touchy with you in public, he had a habit of scaring off guys who had taken a liking to you, he never shot down the rumors of you together, only making them stronger . . . at this point the only two who didn't know you were dating where the two of you 

ᝰ.ᐟ 𝓇oro's note. HEHE ITS FINALLY DONE !! it honestly felt like I’ve been working on this for weeks (i have oops) the maknae version will be released tomorrow !! I now have a taglist, so please comment or send an ask in my inbox if you would like to be added (please specify what taglist you would like to be added too !!) @leehansdoll is the account I will tagging you with <3 ꒰ nav ꒱

which member was your favorite?

likes, reblogs, comments and feedback are heavily encouraged !

[teaboot]

Trading random boy knowledge! In my (cis) experience masculinity is more body language/ behavior than anything else and I don't know much about clothes anyway. Tried to stick to more general stuff, but some of it is probably also specific to my region.

1. Upwards nod for people you know, downwards nod for people you don't.

2. If you're holding a door for someone but don't want it to seem overly formal/ like a big deal, use the back of your fist or your foot to prop it. Nobody cares if you walk through before holding it, if it's a push door.

3. Master the frat boy hug, which is appropriate for any situation where a handshake isn't. Clasped hands in front, one side leaned in, and two pats on the back. If you carry, this is also a tactful way to avoid people awkwardly feeling your weapon when they press up against you.

4. Assume anyone wearing a hijab does not want to be touched by you, if at all possible. Don't offer a handshake- right hand over the heart with a small bow. Very small.

5. You can put a phone in your back pocket but don't sit on top of a thick wallet, it will fuck up your spine. Most people have card wallets now anyway.

6. Most guys bond over shared interests and are reluctant to open up too much before a relationship has been established. It's okay not to be into cars/sports/guns/whatever, but if someone asks and you were to say only “I don't watch football,” and nothing else, it'll be heard as “I'm not interested in bonding with you over this.” Consider instead something like “I don't watch much football, but I went to a game once and it seemed pretty cool.” Treat it like you're rescheduling something- give them a way back into the topic or pivot it to something else if they want.

7. Queer spaces have their own rules and they're usually highly localized. If you're in a new area and don't have an “in,” attend a live Rocky Horror performance or a social drag event. They're basically professionals at adopting new queer people. It can be a little intimidating, though!

Hell yeah!!!! Thank you so much!!! A bunch of these I hasn't heard before esp socializing and etiquette

[yanderenightmare]

TW: noncon, yandere, omegaverse, subjugation, some type of sexism, angsty, also a little fluffy?

fem reader

Discussions about superiority and inferiority between Alphas, Betas, and Omegas have become more popular lately. It’s always been many people’s opinion that the weak should cater to those stronger than them—but a debate with that as its topic is unsavory. Unfortunately, they’ve found new ways to phrase it. 

A resonating “Unmated Omegas are a danger to themselves!” garners much more sympathy…

And with the rise of people talking about it in the media, it was only natural to move the conversation into school as well.

You keep your head bowed in class as the chill runs down your spine. You feel the glare of thirty fellow students—the points of their teeth, too, and how they snicker under their breath. It’s always been rather scary being an omega, but you can’t say you’ve ever felt quite so alone.  

The teacher’s an alpha, so why should he care how what he says impacts you? He’s preaching to the choir, and you’ve never had the right to sing. The three other Omegas in your class have all chosen to stay home. They probably have the right idea—wait it out until it all blows over.

But you don’t know when that might be… You don’t know if that will be.

Society is on the precipice of critical change—new politics, new laws, new systems, new rights that separate you from them. You wallow in fear of the outcome, lying awake at night and scrolling through the news under the safety of your duvet. The statements seem endless. You wonder, why are all politicians Alphas?

You don’t want any of the things they’re suggesting—mating homes to help you find the perfect Alpha to bond with, systematic pairings done from birth, auctions. Is no one going to suggest they put shock collars on all Alphas and Betas to keep them in check? They’re the ones who need to—

“Your scent is distracting the whole class—don’t you feel ashamed?” 

It’s too easy for him to have you bent over the desk, your wrist on your back in his big fist as he wraps his tie around them. He and his goons stand around, all smiles—watching—enjoying it. It’s as if they’ve planned the whole thing, the way two of them peel away from the crowd to grab each their pick of your feet. Parting them, they use your own shoelaces to tie them to the desk legs.

The ringleader laughs. There’s an awful smell coming off him in waves—it makes you quiver. He flips your skirt up and whistles at the sight, showing everyone your ass and cotton undies. The bulge he presses against you is enough to make your tears spill despite how hard you’d fought to keep them at bay, knowing it only arouses them further.

“Aww, don’t cry, little bitch. You should be happy,” he coos, leaning over your trapped form to whisper right at your ear. “Don’t you know? You’ll never feel happier than you will bouncing on my big Alpha dick. It’s all your little Omega cunt dreams about, isn’t it?” He snickers, fiddling with his belt buckle—you flinch at every sharp clink as he jostles the metal. “Well, salvation is here—”

“Keep it to yourself.” Another voice breaks through the sounds of hollers and cheers.

Your eyes open to see him. You despise how your heart jumps in relief.

“Oi, you—” the guy at your back challenges, stepping away from you and toward the interruption.

“Yeah, me,” he states blankly, jaded. He eyes the rest of the guys with disinterest—five betas, zero threat—before telling them, “All of you. Scram.”

They all take a step to walk out as if his voice alone had compelled them, but then the previous guy interjects, making them stop in their tracks again. “Tch—you know what they’re saying. All unmated Omegas are free game, and I won this one. So back off.”

It was like watching a match of tug-of-war.

“Heh,” the intruder laughs. “That rule only counts for Alphas.”

You spot your aggressor's fists curl—there’s a growl rumbling in the back of his throat. “I am an Alpha, asshole.”

“Really?” he feigns, sizing him up with a cocky tilt of his head. “Couldn’t tell.” He doesn’t seem fazed in light of the aggression—actually, it seems to amuse him if anything. “To me, you smell no different from all these other Beta losers.” 

He takes a casual step forward, hands in his pockets and a smile on his face—baring canines with grace.

“But if you wanna prove it, I’m ready when you are.”

It’s quiet after the declaration. The betas are unsure who’s side to pick, none of them eager to get caught in the middle. It becomes a competition purely between the two Alphas.

Without backup, your aggressor backs down and leaves.

“Thought so,” your savior jeers, showing the crowd out, closing and locking the door behind them.

It’s quiet after they’ve left.

You hide your face. Listening to his footsteps approach—he sighs when taking the place of the former guy. He doesn’t touch you, though.

“Y’know…” he starts. “That guy might be trash, but he isn’t wrong…” He picks up your skirt and drapes it back in place. “None of this would ever happen if you weren’t unmated.”

You speak through grit teeth. “Untie me.”

He chuckles familiarly at that, clicking his tongue at you. “What? Aren’t you gonna say please?” But he does what you say anyway. Squatting down, he starts with your ankles.

The scent of your fear still lingers in the air despite your tough act. You’ve always been so steadfast, ever since you were kids, even when it does you no good. He frees your feet—one, then the other, slowly—he even reties your laces into pretty bows before he’s done. 

He remembers it being so obvious. The sun rose in the morning and the moon at night, and you were supposed to be an Alpha while he a Beta at best. You promised you’d be by his side to keep him safe forever, and he wanted nothing more.

But then puberty hit, and nothing was as you’d imagined.

He stands and unknots the tie keeping your wrists restrained.

You immediately push him off—already storming away.

“Do I get no thank you, no nothing? Always so stubborn—” He grabs your arm.

You spin around, an unnatural snarl on your face. “Let go!”

You’d have been a terrifying Alpha. But as fate has it, you’re not. And you shouldn’t act like it. It only lands you in trouble.

But he doesn’t say that. 

“You been watchin’ the news?” he says instead, ignoring your cry and keeping a firm grip on your arm. “Seems like auctions are winning the voters. You know what that means?”

He feels you flinch, followed by a quiver. He can tell. No matter how good you are at hiding it. He can see—the way you’re fraying at the edges, barely holding it together. Always acting so strong. He can’t tell whether you enjoy torturing yourself or if you’re just that good at convincing yourself you’re fine.

“Pretty soon, new authorities are gonna come storming in here, roundin’ up every sorry unmated Omega they find, and put ‘em all on a farm where pompous Alphas can have their pick of the litter.”

He can never tell what you’re thinking, but he knows he doesn’t need to tell you any of this. You’re not stupid, you never have been. He knows you already know. But…

“You should decide now while it’s still your choice.” 

You must be terrified. He understands. But truly… it’s obvious what you have to do, isn’t it?

“It’s not like you have many options.”

It’s obvious. It always has been.

You don’t meet his eyes. You haven’t for a long while. Actually, you haven't since both of you got your test results. He understands this wasn’t what you had in mind, but you can’t afford to mope about it forever—

“How am I supposed to choose any Alpha when you’re all such assholes…”

Your mutter stunts him. It wasn’t what he expected. Or, the words were more or less exactly something he’d expect from you, but that voice—quiet and soft, dangling on the brink of sweet. If you’d said anything else, he’d have taken it as a confession.

“Can't argue with that,” he ends up chuckling again.

You hate how easy this is for him. He would cry at every turn when you were kids. It’s unfair. 

“But you can’t keep doing this, either,” he states. His voice is soft, paired with that ugly authority they all have when talking to you—talking down to you. “Just look where it gets you—scared and exhausted because of it. At least have the brains to stay home.” He says it as if it’s a joke, but you both know it isn’t. His chuckles are light—far from fullhearted.

He bends down, trying to find your eyes. He still holds onto your arm, knowing you’d sooner stomp away than listen to him. His other hand brushes your cheek gently, tucking your hair behind your ear.

“You hear the call from the rafters—it’s not about what you want anymore. It’s about what you need.”

That’s what they say, isn’t it? What you need. You want to slap him. Scratch him with claws, bite his throat out—make him choke on his own words. Need? What you need is for them all to fuck off.

You mean to say it with the same sentiment, but something hard and rough in your throat makes all your words come out wobbly. “Mate an Alpha to stay safe from other Alphas. What a joke.”

You bow your head further. The tears return. They burn as they trail down the sore streaks from before.

He’s never seen you like this. He won’t lie, it makes his pants tight—feeling the urge to suck your cheeks, hold you close and comfort you. But knowing you right, you’d probably never let him. Your face would probably scrunch up in disgust, punch his gut, knee his groin, then turn on your heel and leave him on the floor wheezing.

You really would have made the most terrifying Alpha. 

“The world isn’t fair,” he agrees. “But you get nowhere cryin’ about it—do it my way, and you’ll never—”

“Have any freedom,” you cut him off with a sniffle. 

It’s about the most adorable thing he’s seen in his life.

He gets why you don’t like Alphas—they’re all gross. He makes himself sick sometimes. He can’t believe he’s getting off on watching you have a mental breakdown. There’s something seriously wrong with his side of the species. His throat’s tight, mouth watery with the urge to reap your vulnerability. 

Suppressing it only makes his inner beast furious. Some of that aggression comes out in his next words.

“I’m sorry, but the world doesn’t give a shit about your freedom.” 

The grip around your arm tightens, and you look up in shock—watching his narrowed eyes through your watery ones. 

“What you need is safety—now more than ever. Or do you like being preyed on by every Alpha around the corner?” 

Your bottom lip trembles at the reality of it—a little while ago, you were almost— 

“One of these days, I'm not gonna be here in time, and you’ll be a slave to some fucking—” 

He huffs and hangs his head. His hand loosens up—it trembles where he holds you in place.

“In all honesty, I think I’m more scared than you,” he whispers under his breath. “I think I might kill—”

He stops himself again. You don’t know if it’s in an effort not to frighten you or himself.

“Speak about needs…” he begins anew, now softer. “I need to know you’re safe. I need to—” He looks up. His eyes are back to being round. “I need you more than you need me, probably.”

There’s a desperation on his face. It almost looks like he’s on the verge of tears himself.

“So… please?” he begs. “Will you keep me safe like you promised and stay by my side?”

Your tears dry and prickle. Looking into his eyes now, you see the same boy you knew back in your childhood—that one who’d chase you all over even when you’d call him a sniveling crybaby. You realize, Alpha or not, he hadn’t changed all that much at all. 

“It’s not like you need my permission,” you end up saying.

You’ve always been so hard-headed. He has to smile. “No, but I want it.”

You nibble your lip. You can’t believe you’re at the mercy of this big dumb hunk of… you don’t have the words to describe him. He wasn’t exactly a crybaby anymore. 

“Okay. You win.” 

His eyes widen as you bear your neck with a stretch. Head high and shoulders slack. 

You swallow thickly. “Get it over with.”

He shudders at the sight. He didn’t know what he’d been expecting, but now it almost seemed too soon. 

“We should be supervised by a professional—you know how wrong things can go—”

“Hurry up before I change my mind.” Your eyes remain shut, and your lips pursed.

His tongue grows thick in his mouth at your bark. A sudden stroke of performance anxiety makes his palms sweaty, hands heavy and shaking. But then the sight of your soft neck has his mood shift, becoming drowsy.

He has no control over the growl that begins rumbling from his gut.

But he doesn’t apologize for it either.

He bends forward—breaths on your chest before he licks your throat. You can’t help but whimper at the warmth. He watches you through hooded eyes—your usually angry face is now all cute, riddled with anxiety you try hiding paired with the grim anticipation of pain.

“Shh,” he soothes, kissing the spot softly. He sways you against him, then lifts you up on the desk for you to sit. Grazing your neck with teeth when feeling your hands tangle two fistfuls of his shirt. He expects you to push him away, but you don’t—you tug him closer instead as if silently telling him to hurry up.

But he doesn’t want to rush, doesn’t want to lose himself—that’s how accidents happen. So he sticks to sucking gently, only tiny nibbles that leave your skin hot and lightly bruised in their wake.

You give a moan once he finds the spot, and he growls in restraint upon the pretty sound—feeling you relax despite being threatened with his teeth right at your artery. He almost humps your leg in return, feeling the boil of blood pump him hot and heavy in his pants—breaths turning equally hot and heavy, each one laced with rust.

Drool coated your neck in a cool sheen, soothing the marks made beneath it, while his lips and fangs aroused pleasure in the spot that now ached for the sting of his bite.

“Please,” slipped from your mouth while tugging him closer. 

His eyes, completely drunk on the pretty prayer, had only a slim rim of color left surrounding the hungering bottomless pits, blown full and black with opium.

No one could come and take you away from him now. Not with his print so pretty on your neck. You were his—just as you were always supposed to be.

♡ BNHA – Deku, Kirishima, Natsuo, Amajiki, Mirio ♡ JJK – Yuji, Yuuta ♡ HQ – Kuro, Miya twins ♡ DS – Tanjiro, Zenitsu

♡ FEM x M INSERT masterlist ♡ GN x M INSERT masterlist

[toothfa-1-ry]

JUST FATHER ACTIVITIES

Imagine in an alternative universe, somehow you and your baby daddy Thanos escape the games (don't ask me how) and you guys pay off all of your debts and have financial stability

Basically father! Thanos headcannons!!

First of all, thanos is a girl dad. Idc i do not make the rules you CANNOT and WILL not change my mind otherwise

After the games, irrelevant of whether you were also in the games with him or not, he'd quit his drug addiction and go to a rehabilitation for the sake of your daughter

You couldn't change him, but atleast your daughter could

Thanos would go with you to the gynae every single time without fail, he'd brag about it (very loudly) though

"Look" thanos points at all the patients in the waiting room in the gynae clinic "how many women do you see with their husband's accompanying them?"

"Thanos shut the fuck up" you'd hiss at him, while hitting his arm. The women around you guys giving you the stink eye which he proudly gave back

"I'm just saying the truth- is it a sin to speak the truth?!?"

Will brag to the doctor and nurses too

"Say doctor miss" he leans back at his chair with his head held up high "how many husband's accompany their wives to the clinic?"

"Oh well that depends, not all the time-"

*insert thanos's loud proud laugh, his head thrown back while you grimace*

"I'm the fucking best aren't i"

*insert your slow head shaking* "Yes babe, you sure are"

He was always protective of you, but it grew even stronger after he found out you were pregnant

The type to protect you from a pigeon if he felt like it looked at you for a second too long

"Wtf are you looking at you cross eyed motherfucker"

*glares at the pigeon from a distance"

The type of person to hyper fixated on whatever small movement you do cause he's doesn't want you to get hurt

"Oh be careful be careful" *Holds your hand* "hold my hand and dont let go, use your other hand on the railing"

Says that he doesn't need to read or watch those "pregnancy classes" or "how to take care of a new born" classes cause he's already fully prepared

You later find out that he signed up for one of those seminars online and attends those lectures at night while your asleep

Bro probably has even stronger baby fever than you do

Buys things for the baby and you

"Thanos.. what's that in your hand"

"It's a costume, a ironman costume"

"For?"

"Our daughter 🙄 duh y/n"

"Babe, she still isn't even born"

"I got you a costume too" *takes out a black widow costume that seemed a little too racey* "you should try wearing it now just incase-"

*he got hit by you for trying to get you pregnant again while you were pregnant*

Let's say nam gyu wasn't the slimy bitch he was in the series

Best GODFATHER ever. GOATED godfather, S TIER godfather

I already mentioned this but I'm sure Thanos and nam gyu would come up with names for the baby

I'm talking wack ass names that they genuinely find cool

The list of names would include marvel character names (cause cmon, the child's dad is literally called thanos) or rapper names

"Add cardi b on the list too"

"You know that's not her real name right?" Nam gyu asked, pausing before quickly scribbling the name down

"WHAT?!? Since when??"

I'm sure nam gyu even accompanied the two of you to the clinic atleast once or twice

He was banned from coming though cause him and Thanos together made too much noise

Whenever you and thanos are in public, it doesn't matter if your in a cafe or restaurant or if your just out for a walk

If he meets anyone and i mean anyone

He'd tell them that he was gonna be a dad

"Hey do you know that I'm gonna be a dad?" *points at you* "and that's the mom- she's carrying my baby"

"Sir I'm the waiter"

On the softer note though

Kisses you on the lips first and then kisses your stomach second before you both go to sleep

If you groan or even if he senses a inch of your discomfort he'll automatically try to figure out a way to make you feel in ease

Tries his best not to annoy you

(It doesn't always work cause being annoying is his entire personality trait but it's the effort that counts!!)

Ties your shoelaces for you cause you can't bend over

Traces shapes over your stomach while you both lie next to eachother

Reminds you how pretty you are everyday

"If I'm the legend Thanos, then I guess you would be a myth, cause only a face like yours could make a man like me want to quit"

"Your so corny"

But you wouldn't have it any other way