#guys who live in my head rent free tbh

[morgenlich]

have i ever told you guys that the first time i went to vilnius, one of my hostel roommates was an israeli guy who had never heard of yiddish

[yardsards]

there is an angel and a devil on my shoulders and i chose to listen to the devil on this night

conclusion: it... tastes.

okay, like. there were obviously no reactions between the ingredients (unlike grilk, where the acid in the grape juice curdled the milk). so it tasted kinda like you'd expect cherry gelatin and white bread to taste.

but also like. okay, you don't really think much about the taste of plain, untoasted white bread in your daily life. but then you take a bite of it with nothing but a filling that's like 98% water, basically just a sip of kool aid in semisolid form. and then you truly taste the bread for the first time. it doesn't just not taste like anything; no, it tastes like *something* and that *something* is Nothing. but somehow the addition of the cherry jello INTENSIFIES that *something* and makes you taste it more than if you just took a bite of plain white bread without the jello.

and the texture... the jello was already a tad too watery and the bread a wee bit stale. the jello got almost entirely lost in the feeling of the bread but sometimes in the middle of chewing, a glob of jello would make itself known, simultaneously a respite from the bread and a new form of torment. it felt like it took an eternity to chew, though it was more like 15 seconds.

the combination of fake fruit and mass-produced bread conjures an image: a mockery of communion, handed out at a megachurch in the lorax movie universe where no one had encountered a live plant in ages.

the video wasn't really funny enough to warrant posting, but these screenshots of me tasting it about sum it up (fun fact: i accidentally deleted the first video so this was of me taking a SECOND BITE. but almost nothing about the first bite really processed for me so the second was practically a new experience in of itself)

anyway, i give it a 3/10, only because i am using grilk as my baseline for a 1/10

(context: grilk jello sandwich)

@sepublic

[celestialalpacaron]

Ayo, someone by the name of Curly-B-Blog is redlining art of yours from 2020 (while pretending that it's actually Sai Scribble's work), and kind of being a dick about it. just thought you should know.

You know, originally I was just gonna brush it off, but then I went back to look at my old SU art from 2020 and did so much self reflection from then till now.

I think this was around the time I was just learning how to do perspective and tried to use the perspective tool on Procreate for the first time? :0 and I remember telling Sai “Sai I have this STUPID idea, I CANT believe it this stupid joke it’s so DUMBBBB, it’s living rent free in my BRAIN I SWEAR THIS IS GONNA BE SO STUPID DCIUWHEFIUWHIRFUIW4F” and being super excited to show her the finished product. People still think Sai created the Cursed Skin Gloves comic and I think it’s hilarious wjhwnuhwijwuiw

The comic was received very well and it made LOTS of people laugh and I’m still proud of this comic to this very day! :D and tbh if it wasn’t for my obsession for Sai’s Switcheroo AU I never would have found my passion in comic work! (love you you stinky hoe @saiscribbles 🩷)

HOWEVER…. I definitely still had lots to learn! I wasn’t very good at perspective at the time I’ll admit, but I was definitely having lots of fun learning :3

And throughout the past 4 years, ALOT has happened.

I graduated from college with TWO fancy pieces of expensive papers in Visual Development in Animation and Illustration learning from Will Kim and Jeff Soto, and as a I was working with the funny voice man Cougar MacDowall as a comic/story artist and reached in total around 7 million views for my fan series FNAF Security Malware Breached (it was even #21 on the trending list around the time of my birthday 🩷 what a lovely gift), had an insane opportunity to work with Mike Geno and with the voice cast from The Amazing Digital Circus for a fan song as a background and character asset artist, Vivienne Medrano liking and sharing my silly Overlord Husk AU comics, currently on my route to getting my certificate from Aaron Blaise’s Character design program and graduating from Marc Brunet Art School, and now I am completing my first year as professional colorist and art assistant for my storyboard and comic mentor Michelle Lam, aka Mewtripled! (Also I’ll be heading out to Lightbox Expo 2024 on October 26 with Michelle and the team so if y’all ever wanna meetup hahahajaj wink wink wink wink wink)

So you can say I learned ALOT and I enjoyed every minute of what I do :D I try to be humble about my accomplishments because blah blah being humble good yes yes but this time I wanna be selfish and say HELL YEAH I DID ALL THIS!!! AND IM SO EXTREMELY PROUD OF MYSELF FIUGEIURGERGGRS

Now here’s my most recent comic page that I posted like 2 days ago without the text.

That’s pretty freakin wild to me, I can’t believe I used to draw Steven Universe art like that back in 2020 LOL LIKE GUYS I DREW THIS!! WITH!!! MY HANDS!!! IS THAT NOT INSANE!!!???

Anyways moral of the story:

Learn from everyone and everything! Yes, even then mean ones too! If you can learn to work with anyone, I promise you’ll get to where you want to be faster. People can be a little mean on the internet, but that shouldn’t stop you from being where you want to be in the future. I’m so EXTREMELY grateful for all the opportunities and to all the kind professionals who were willing to give me a chance. Seriously, I’m so graciously thankful for everything, and I hope everyone here will support me and my silly little comics I will do now and in the future!

And one more thing:

Don’t be a jerk. Be to be nice to everyone :D nothing good comes out when you’re bad to everyone.

[angels-fantasy]

Girlyyyy I love your writing I just binged all your fics 😭😭😭 but anyway, I have a request.

Yknow how Bakugou is a comfort character to a lot of people, what if Reader was his favourite character from his favourite show (maybe a slice of life or romance anime where we're the second lead or a character who's not the main) and Bakugou listens to asmr audios of us or actively follows many accounts who write fanfictions about us and simp for us like we do for him 😔

This has been living rent free in my mind, so please indulge me 😔😔

You're His Favorite Character HeadCanons (Request)

Details: this is just me yapping tbh

Word Count: 202

imagining bakugou simp over someone is actually so funny LMAOO i love this idea thank you for it your mind is so powerful. btw i'm doing this in a more head-canon style if that's okay! i honestly couldn't really think of a plot for this but i really liked the idea 😭 if u ever wanna keep talking about it tho you can definitely message me or send more stuff to my inbox!! i love talking so don't be shy

firstly i feel like when he first starts watching anime, he'd watch more action packed ones, but slowly got into romance after he found the anime you were in!!

i think if it was a romance anime that'd be really cute. though you wouldn't be the main character, but the main characters best friend or something so you don't have a love interest bc Bakugou would probably get jealous tee hee

also if he read fics about you, he'd def go for some classic fluff me thinks. or maybe like an enemies to lovers!! i think he'd like a little angst with it as well, bc he's an angsty boy

i think that he would read all about your character and rewatch clips of you on youtube, yk? idk thats what i do for characters i really like lolol.

he'd probably be really secretive about his crush on you and make sure to not let anyone know he watches y/n asmr videos 😩 omg and if your character has merch he'd def buy it, maybe even a figure or something too!

but ultimately he's just obsessed with you and thinks your gorgeous and you guys are in love in his head 😍

authors note

i'm so sorry this was so short 😞 i hope you still enjoyed it! thank you sm for your message :)

tags for bakugou fics: @doumadono @shonen-brainrot

[pixelatedraindrops]

Happy 1st Anniversary RainCode!

☔️6🔎30👻

Thank you for bringing me so much joy 💜💕

(and thank you for giving me the gift that is yuma kokohead)

I didn’t think I’d make art for it at first, but I figured this game has done so much for me, so I’ll give back by drawing the duo that started it all 💜🩷 These two are such an iconic pair and I will draw them together as much as possible c: (tho Shinigami will be mostly in her ghost form if I do)

First time drawing human form Shinigami non-chibi, and I admit she was a little tricky with that outfit. But I think I did it decently enough… xD

little bonus for the kokogami enjoyers 💕

miss death god is too much woman for this little boy to handle~ 🤭

i know he's an adult but can you honestly look at him without context and say this is a man??? he's just an eemey meemey little guy.

Personal Rambling below (because I love this game so much)

WARNING MINI ESSAY INCOMING (lmao)

Oh RainCode... Where do I even begin...

RainCode is a game that has changed my life along with likely many other people’s lives. Although the premise of it is fairly straightforward, the characters and atmosphere make this game so much more. The successor to Danganropa is honestly its own unique story and structure, and tbh I think I love and enjoy it far more than Danganronpa. But this game…is just so much more for me.

I truly never expected this game to be such an impact on my life, let alone become my next fixation.

So, for history, I was honestly in no real hurry to get the game on its release date last year, so I got it a day later. On July 1st, I played the game for the first time. And I didn’t think much of it at first. The only thing that was on my mind when I started this game, was that I was positive I was going to be treating the protagonist like Makoto Naegi and Kyoko Kirigiri’s son the whole time.

This was the first post I made about RainCode back on twitter in 2023.

Yeah... Kinda silly when I look at it now... XD But I do still beleive this headcanon.

When I started the game my 2016 fixation of Danganronpa came back a bit. As a previous DR lover, I did make comparisons here and there to all of the characters. Yuma was very much like Naegi with his shy and timid demeanor at first due to having amnesia, and it felt like déjà vu when playing through the start of the game. But then it happened. The moment that solidified Yuma as my next and now permanent target. When he got sick/dizzy on the train... God that moment still lives rent free in my head. (I know the cause of it was different/related to the first mystery/case, but as someone who enjoys any sort of sick whump moment, regardless of if its little crumbs or a whole-ass meal it still counted for me) I was still shy and hid in the shadows with my silly little niche back then, but I told myself. Yep, once I finish this game, I’m writing a sickfic for this game and he’s the victim. (though what surprised me was that I wasn’t alone on that, 3 other people made sickfics with yuma before I did so that was a pleasant surprise xD)

As the game went on it shocked and impressed me in many different forms. I realized that this game isn’t the Danganronpa clone I thought it would be. Sure, it had a lot of similar elements and mirrored mini games like Hangman’s Gambit, Spot Selection, and of course the Conclusion Comic of the whole case, but the story the world and the mysteries were honestly different from the way DR structured them. And it pleased me when not many people from the main team had died. Most of the deaths were of side characters that had appeared in their respective chapters. Which honestly was a breath of fresh air for me, and I think that’s the real reason it’s separate from DR. It’s not as cruel and not as stressful. It’s a lot more chill, but the mysteries were still enough to get me excited and look forward to the next maze I would enter. The mystery labyrinths were probably my favorites elements of the game. They were just so much fun. And every single character was so likeable, (yes even some of the peacekeepers were fun aside of one or two that I absolutely despise. mostly yomi and guillame lol but I guess I kinda like yomi a bit more bc of the fandom)

And I grew to love Yuma EVEN more. He is honestly one of the best written protagonists I’ve seen in a long time. It’s hard to do timid protagonists right, but RainCode definitely nailed it with Yuma. He had his moments, but it wasn’t enough to be obnoxious. He also shined in more ways than one. And my god, so many relatable moments… (I have anxiety too xD) He was so charming and cute the whole time and even had his badass moments. This little guy is the whole package and I LOVE him for that. Truly a unique and fun main character that blows every DR protagonist out of the water.

(Yes, I said what I said.)

And the ending, GOOD LORD THE ENDING?? It was so well executed, and the ending twist villain was immediately my second favorite character after the protagonist. I could go on about how much I loved the ending but if I did, we’d be here all day and I don’t want to spoil the entire game…so… I’ll leave it at that.

When I finished the game, I was so satisfied. (Yes I love it more than DR, what are you gonna do about it?) It left me super happy and made me want to make some fan content for it. Though I was still very quiet on twitter and had a feeling since twitter is a more complicated platform, I couldn’t gush about the game too much due to fear of spoiling other people…and when one of your favorite characters is just the whole secret of the game’s core mystery, I couldn’t talk about it too much… >.>

So, then I did the unthinkable. I went back to tumblr… It’s a little embarrassing but this account is actually my old one I had from years ago. I was on tumblr more 2013 to 2017 before I abandoned the site when it no longer seemed fun and there were times that I’d rather forget... (let’s just say that I used to RP with my OCs and…one of my RP ex friends catfished me and it made me feel VERY uncomfortable. I wanted to forget it, so I ran away and never returned.) I was super nervous to come back and try to post again, so my first RC related post was about him being a naegiri child.

After that I began making more edits once I gained access to the sprites and full body arts. I made some Pokémon AU edits because those were always fun, and then I started making feverish edits of Yuma’s sprites. My first post ended up becoming a hit and I caught the attention of some people. They liked what I was doing so it gave me a bit of confidence to continue. I got even more attention, and it made my confidence go up even more.

And then I started trying to draw art again, something I gave up long ago. My first few arts were a little rocky at best, but so many people enjoyed it! One of my older arts ended up becoming pretty popular. Through this my few pieces of art, my many sprite edits, and my first fan fiction (Home Is Where The Heart Is) got me pretty well recognized in the Rain code community on here. So much so that I felt confident enough to give myself a title. The CEO of RainCode Whump or “Whumpcode” and all of this confidence made me decide to turn my blog into a fandom and sick whump blog. It became a full blown obsession that possessed my mind that I've become TOO passionate about. Never thought making these little guys suffer would bring me this much joy... XD

Over time, I’ve drawn more art and written more fics than I ever had for a fandom. Before I never ever made fandom art, and I would usually only write one sickfic per fixation. (my last ones being demon slayer and spy x family) But here I am, making more art pieces than I ever have before (hell even doing a MONTH ART CHALLENGE) and improving even! And having 7 fanfictions of RainCode, 6 with Yuma and one with Makoto. And those two became my prime targets and muses for my art. Drawing them is easier for me and they’re my favorites so it brings me such joy to draw them. I love MakoYuma so much. Maybe not so much romantically, but friendship and familial. They have such potential to be so much, and I adore them. Plus putting them in sicknarios and situations is fun (I think we can all agree on that haha)

I think I’m talking too much, so I will say one more thing. I never thought my fixation on this game would last this long. I was positive it would go away after just a few months at best. The game is great but nothing amazing to keep thinking about for too long for me. But I think the main reason I was able to keep my fixation on this game for almost a year (and ongoing) is because of the fandom. (specifically, the Tumblr fandom, but some people on twitter are cool too) I’m honestly so happy I returned to tumblr and was able to make a name for myself in this community. I have met so many talented artists and creators and even made some new friends (and even got a few apprentices to take under my wing) If it weren’t for everyone’s support, I don’t think I would have ever done this much and made it this far.

I’ve essentially made a platform for myself, and I didn’t think tumblr would be a place I’d check daily ever again. To think this silly little game…would change my life so much and make me happier than I’ve ever been in such a long time. I feel recognized and like I belong, I’m finally able to be loud and proud about my passions for sick whump and not worry too much about it, I’ve finally found my prime target and I have fun with him every time, I’ve gotten back into the arts of drawing and writing again and I think I’ve made some of my best work yet, and I’ve met so many wonderful people and even collaborated with them on some fun projects too! (Here's the most popular one and also the first one I did!)  It’s just been…so wonderful… I am so happy to be part of such a chill talented and fantastic community TwT So thank you everyone… this is all thanks to your support… <3

Sorry I’m getting a little mushy here aren’t I… x’D I just couldn’t be more grateful for this game if I tried… So, thank you so much Rain Code, for existing and doing so much for me and making me so happy… I have never had this much fun in a fixation before, and I never felt like I was ever truly part of any fandom and was always just a lurker. It feels so good to finally feel like part of a fandom you love, and also be well liked, admired and accepted by others despite your niche being a little on the odd side… XD

I really hope there will be a sequel for this game, and we’ll see all these wonderful characters again. After all I’ve been through with this title and how much joy and purpose it brought me, consider me a fan for life. I will be dedicated to every future title in this series and play the hell out of it. And I hope it gains a wider audience come October when it is released for more consoles. (Just hoping no weirdos take over and ruin it with stupid drama and horrible things like the DR fandom…)

Though once new fans come in and are also tumblr users…I wonder what they’d even think of me and my place and takes when it comes to this series… XD (hopefully they’ll be nice to me… XD)

Anyway, I’ve said enough.

Happy Anniversary RainCode!!

☔💜👻🔍

[unhelpfulfemme]

More random Captive Prince thoughts, because I feel like being a sadist to all of my mutuals these books are living rent-free in my head right now. These ones are more about the plot and the worldbuilding.

Worldbuilding-wise, I loved the attention to detail, because as far as I could tell all the little details of how a medieval-ish army functions and how you would run it and what you would do with the horses and the supplies and the roads etc. etc. were pretty accurate. I mean, these books are by no means a treatise on warfare (in fact they can be delightfully pulpy, which I liked - I grew up on The Three Musketeers and the Scarlet Pimpernell and similar swashbuckling novels, and I got some of the same feelings here!), but there were details in there that most other authors don't bother to put in or inadvertently fuck up (I love ASOIAF to death but historically accurate it is not), and most of the military stuff seemed plausible enough as well, though again not described in too much detail so you can fill it in with your own assumptions or skim over if it's not something that particularly interests you. And I also loved the architectural details and could imagine everything quite well, but again, as I said previously, this may be because the author spent some time living near where I live so we've seen a lot of the same stuff probably.

Actually when I was first reading it and thinking it was going to be bad I was reading it exclusively for the architectural details lol, I was like yeah, yeah, they're all sucking each other off, but Damen please tell me again how you feel about the tiling?

What I also particularly liked is how the... scale of the conflict I guess? was refreshingly accurate for the "historical period".

The worldbuilding is a mashup of Ancient Greece and medieval France, but what it really felt like to me is a world where the Roman Empire never really consolidated to the extent that it did in our world and Italy went on into the middle ages (because these are decidedly feudal systems) with Cisalpine Gaul having the, well, Gallic culture, while the South had a Greek one. I may be thinking this because I live in Italy and so everything reminds me of Italy, but once I thought of it I couldn't unsee it.

I guess I gotta put in a cut somewhere and now's as good of a time as any?

But anyway, back to the scale of the conflict, the actual middle ages were filled with small and mid-sized countries, and petty local conflicts with family members turning onto each other over succession and stuff, and random small territories going back and forth (well, that's just Europe in general, always, TBH), and this is how it all felt like to me. Actual medieval history has a guy who started a rebellion because his brothers threw a pisspot at him and his father did nothing about it and he felt humiliated, and the war was secretly funded by his mother, so the combination of the small scale with a random local conflict that probably literally nobody cares about outside of the region we are in + everything being so intensely driven by interpersonal drama between insane people felt really authentic to me, like the kind of weird historical moment that would get turned into a funny Tumblr post. And of course the royals did a lot more sneaking around than was probably smart, but I can forgive that for the swashbuckling vibes and also because if Cleopatra could sneak into a palace in a carpet these guys can do whatever they want in my book.

Speaking of the petty interpersonal drama, I also liked the emphasis on how in this system personal reputation and the performance of kingship are king. Usually when you have a heavily political story it's much more based on the quid-pro-quo, "rational actor" kind of politics, but medieval politics also had a lot more going on in the cultural sense (and so do modern politics actually but at least pretending to be a "rational actor" IS the modern performance of leadership), and here you had people dealing political blows through meticulous management of their own and others' political reputations, which was fun to see, especially in combination with so many manipulative bastard characters. Like, how Laurent is manipulated into going to the border just because looking like a coward will lose him more political points than he can afford, and Damen's continued wearing of the slave cuff and instistence on not being served by slaves initially deals massive blows to his reputation, because these are cultures that value heroism, of one sort or another.

(And speaking of heroism, the emphasis on the physical activity-related activities that are the centerpiece of noble life in both countries were wonderful, especially since because both Ancient Greece and the European Middle Ages were really into that in their respective ways and it makes the mashup feel really well-done and coherent in how she tied it together.)

What's notable is a lack of any kind of religion, which felt particularly glaring during the whole Kingsmeet thing - in the real world there would likely be a belief in some kinda curse from the Gods or something similar to discourage the drawing of weapons, but since I'm not really religious and tend not to personally care about religion (while ofc recognizing its anthropological importance) I really didn't care and it didn't diminish my enjoyment of the series.

Still, I do have to say that the ending of the last book felt reeeeaally rushed, and that felt really glaring exactly because the rest of the series had such amazing detail work and excellent pacing and very gradual plot development.

I didn't get the part with the doctor and the letter (why didn't he say anything earlier? how would they verify the authenticity of the letter? Did anyone even have the time to READ the thing?) but I'm gonna be honest with you here, I read book 3 under a heavy fever and it was like 2 AM when I got to that part, so I'm not sure that I haven't missed something that makes it make more sense.

BUT even if that part makes sense, I feel like the Regent was dealt with far too quickly. Like in one paragraph he is in control of everything, in the next they've already beheaded him and that's it. I can imagine in my head that a lot of the nobles were probably already sick of him and took little convincing, that they were disapproving both of his meddling in foreign politics and of his likely grave breach of cultural rules via taking an aristo kid as a pet, or that he initially rationally seemed a better choice over Laurent until Laurent proved himself to be more competent and with a more competent ally, or they already had some hints about what happened that the audience didn't and the evidence confirmed what was inconclusive before.

But I feel like in a series that spends so much time detailing the shifting alliances between the characters and the public's opinion on everyone that matters? I really needed to be sold on it a bit more. Like I really needed some discussion over what to do with the Regent, I needed them to keep him in a cell for a while as they decided whether to kill him (and have the leads scared that the Regent will turn them over as Laurent often does to people), I needed them to consider the evidence just a little bit more, I needed some post mortem with the council members where they explain what was happening on their side of the things. It needed to be MUCH longer and more detailed.

Another thing I wondered at was why the Regent was so insistent to paint Laurent's collaborations with the Akielons as a bad thing when he was... also collaborating with the Akielons? Like he is foaming at the mouth calling them barbarians and accusing Laurent of sleeping with the prince-killer but it feels more like setup for Damen's big declaration of love than an actual political strategy because my brother in Christ, you are literally in the Akielon royal palace, in the middle of Akielos to which you ran after your nephew started a rebellion, with the Akielon king sitting next to you as your equal. Why do you think that you can convince your people that YOUR Vere-Akielos alliance is somehow more morally pure than Laurent's? This was also the right moment to pull out all the patricide allegations that seemed to be going around for Damen, but IIRC he didn't use that as much as he could if at all.

Since there were some Akielons in the room as well, I was also wondering WTF was Kastor doing as the Regent was shitting on his country and calling them barbarians and making it like allying with them is a grave transgression? Why was HE allowing this humiliation? It felt like a very unpolitical thing to do from a character whose strength was in his political acumen (obviously meaning the Regent, not Kastor) and the plot just let it slide by.

I feel like a lot of this is due to this being the first time that the story had to fit within the constraints of a traditional book? So it needed a decisive traditional climax and perhaps it was getting too long for a traditional format, or the author got a bit tired of it and wanted to wind it up now that she wasn't getting regular feedback as you do with serialized publishing, or she prioritized emotional impact over plot logic.

I don't know. I still think they're great books, and the conclusion was emotionally satisfying in the sense that the psychological and interpersonal threads were wrapped up impeccably, I just wanted more detail on the political side. It's still grabbed me like nothing else did for a long time, I can take a mid ending, half of my favourite series will never have one at all because the author wrote themselves into a corner and then died lol.

[hajihiko]

I’m not any of the anons from before but as a fellow kazuichi fan I’d personally love to hear you talk about why you like him if you feel like it! personally I was first drawn to his character design, I just thought he looked cool, and then the second he opened his mouth and revealed himself as a loser, I loved him like ten times more lol. I know some people think he’s ‘creepy’ but I feel like he keeps enough a distance from Sonia that he’s just a guy with a crush, and also his “don’t you ever just wanna take girls apart and see how their bones work” line lives in my head rent free

Ok well. Sorry dude (genuinely) but I dont think I think of him the way a lotta ppl do. Heres my take sorry if it ruins it

First of all, do I LIKE his character? No. I like what could become of it if handled well, in the future (same with Akane and Sonia and... a lotta characters tbh).

I dont want to gloss over that he was really not cool with Sonia. I DON'T think it was like, a simple silly crush like any other dude would have, I think he WAS inappropriate about it and (most likely completely unbeknownst to him) enforcing things that she genuinely could not stand. He was insecure and took it out on others as well as himself.

These are all character flaws. Every single character has them (some more than others). Fuyuhiko was genuinely a dick (as I have said many times, having anger issues isnt an excuse for the way he talks sometimes), Hiyoko is a bully, Ibuki is insensitive when se gets caught up, Impostor is condescending sometimes, etc. Kazuichi isnt the only one to be a jackass sometimes and t deny it is to deny his character, just as much as reducing him to only that is oversimplifying it.

What I like about Kazuichi is: the design.

(Ok jk but I do enjoy the design a lot)

I like the teenage insecurity. He thinks he wants to be a chick magnet, but gets scared when girls show an interest in him. His ideal woman is basically a barbie doll. He's a little too eager to see his boy bestie naked. He was so excited for a class retreat because he's never had one before. He was so desperate to be cool and tough and not a nerd that he drastically (and no doubt painfully, ow, TEETH) changed his appearance to conform to his Ideal Self, but could not actually change his personality.

He's basically a teenage boy, warts and acne at all, trying so hard to be The That Guy but spectacularly failing. He's actually somewhat of a genius (and the Death Trap stuff hints to him having a lot of repressed turmoil which honestly so true, teenagers whose only outlet is fantasizing about the gory demise of their tormentors, SO TRUE) but he can't SEE that because he wants to be some kind of cool punk frat bro dude. He's so busy living up to some idealized version of himself that he fumbles who he actually is, which if he just took a moment, would be a pretty cool dude. Basically, did you ever discover a cool band and tried to model your entire personality after what you thought those vibes would be? That, but sad.

So yeah, I think he's great at comedic beats, and also has a lot of heart underneath it, but has never been in a place where he can just accept that and let it shine. His last words were basically "here I am, don't forget me!" which like, man, isnt that just relatable teenagerism?

[graendoll]

I'm almost through season 6 of the queer EMT show and I have a couple of thoughts I really need to get off my chest.

Before I dive in I want to share an observation. It feels like there are two tiers of main ensemble cast and I'm basing this on the character development of each of them. Tier 1 feels like its Bobby, Buck and Maddie who have gone through the most dramatic character arcs, while tier 2 is Athena, Hen, and Eddie. I can't decide which group Chim is in tbh and this is hardly scientific so...

The point of all that is that everything else I'm going to say is based off my observation that Buck is more fleshed out and developed as a character than Eddie.

So now to the point!

First, Buck absolutely adores Eddie. Like is definitely 100% in love with the man. I'm only on episode 14 of season 6 so I haven't even gotten to the onscreen bi realization or the coming out scene outside of gifs on this here hell site. But currently, the way Buck looks at Eddie is so fucking heart eyed its ridiculous.

The hysteria when Eddie is in danger - the screaming at the mudslide, the absolute hard reboot at the shooting? Buck is completely beside himself at the idea of losing Eddie. He literally cries on Christopher's shoulder at the thought of losing him and Chris losing his dad.

This is not standard BFF behavior, I'm sorry.

And don't even get me started on the couch metaphor...I have too much to say about that to include it here.

But what I do want to talk about is the coma episode. Because I feel like that episode was a purposeful "no-homo" episode and here's why:

Buck is in an alternate universe and runs to Hen and Chim, sees Maddie and Bobby. But Eddie is literally just referenced once as "the angry guy" and his contribution to the entire episode is to bring Christopher to see Buck while hes unconscious. Which is weird!

Yes, Eddie rescued Buck and yes he tells the medical team to do better than their best, but compared to Buck literally hauling Eddie's limp body into an ambulance? It's a pretty vanilla response.

And then he doesn't show up in alternate Bucks reality. This is, i believe, one part writers trying to no homo the thing and one part writers implying that Eddie and Chris are a replacement for Bucks "real family" which undermines the entire guardian arc in a very weird way. So it definitely seems, during s6 at least, that Buddie was flat out not happening (again...I'm on e14 only).

So if Buck is in love with Eddie through narrative and acting choices (based on recent PR from Oliver S implying hes lowkey played Buck queer) where is Eddie at? What gives?

I'll tell you what gives.

Eddie is the most repressed motherfucker on the planet. Eddie goes to a call involving a vibrator getting stuck in a woman and he barely clocks that's what's happening.

This man has only had missionary sex for the purpose of baby making and it shows. I have definitely HC'd that Eddie is demi but he's also just locked down so tight. No wonder he spent a whole season beating the crap out of random strangers in illegal fights!

So, what's my point?

My POINT is this. Eddie may be queer underneath all that repression, but he has no idea. None. Zero. Zip. Eddie thinks he can't find a wife and mother for Christopher because he's BROKEN, not because he's maybe just not that into women.

And yes, Buck coming out might give him a clue. Tommy being gay might show him something he hasn't really seen in terms of what a gay man looks like. But that Catholic guilt ridden man has a LONG way to go before he will confess to the fact that he wifed up his bisexual BFF because of non-platonic reasons.

We'll see how the story pans out. But anyone who thinks season 7 is going to end in a Buddie romance is likely incredibly wrong. I mean I haven't seen the episodes yet. So give me a week. But it seems unlikely. Eddie's character is in a very different place than Buck.

Doesn't mean these two don't live together in marital bliss rent free in my head though 😜

[splishsplashyouropinionistrash]

hello hello my loves, it's been a while since I've done a fic rec list and I'm feeling *inspired*

my qualifications are that i'm a loser and have read over a thousand fics so far in 2023

Was Sorta Hopin' That You'd Stay by jaydreamz (8/8)

Minyard Josten rivalry but they actually hate each other. They have a prank war. It's beautiful.

Eighteen Wheels And Three Beating Hearts by Autumnalpalmetto, IKnowWhoYouAre_Damianos (21/21)

Small town AU, Neil is a trucker with a son and Andrew runs a diner. So many found family feels, was giggling like a child the whole time. Connor owns my heart.

Die Free Or Die A Failure by Mickey_99 (54/54)

This one. This one!!! It's so good. Like, so good. It's a Raven!Neil fic, where Neil escapes the Nest and joins Kevin at PSU. It's super dark at times, but so lovely? The found family in this one is just *chefs kiss*

I Guess This Is Where I Say Goodbye by Artificiosus (2/2)

Listen y'all. I bawled like a baby reading this one. Full on ugly sobbing. It was amazing. It's MCD, so be careful. Neil gets in a car crash and calls Andrew, but Andrew doesn't pick up. The whole fic is Neil's voicemail and Andrew's reaction. It's so beautiful and so so sad.

Here And Where You Are by pentagrammed (1/1)

This one!!! It's almost sort-of MCD? But not actually. Read it, I'm begging. There's not much I can say about it without spoilers, so just... read it.

Dating & Other Disasters by lolainslackss, moonix (12/12)

Okok but this one. It's fake dating, the Foxes all go to a fine arts school. Neil is an actor and Andrew is a writer. It's so good !!! Andrew's poem lives rent-free in my head.

Murder Boyfriends by justadreamfox (3/3)

Heathers AU!!! It's beautiful, I'm in love with it. Go forth and read.

Better Than A Night Light by Ominous (1/1)

Literally 7k of fluff. Neil watches one of those alien horror movies and gets scared by it (but Drew is there to help, ofc)

Small Angry Gardeners by SensationalSunburst (8 part series)

Neil and Andrew's adventures in homeowning, gardening, meeting neighbors, owning animals, and other domestic bullshit. So fluffy, so sweet, so fun. Simply adore.

Heimkehr Means Homecoming by This_Witch_Writes (2 part series)

Cass is good! Andrew gets a mom! Family !!!! Literally so good, I cried a lot.

What Does 'Viral' Mean? by darkbluebox (1/1)

Kevin is a sports commentator after retirement, and Neil joins him for a game. So much bickering. Fucking hilarious

In Reel And Rout by maydaykevin (10/10)

Fantasy pirates AU. Vaguely Pirates of the Caribbean? So good though, oh my god. Andrew has water powers and shit. Neil is a pirate captain. I'm in love.

The Exy Team Is Nuts: A Survival Guide For The Uninitiated by Cute Negativity Cloud (Ofelia) (1/1)

The Foxes from the perspective of the other sports team. They have a whiteboard with rules for how to deal with them without being murdered/beaten up/insulted to death. It's fucking hilarious

Kill My Mind (Raise My Body Back To Life) by r3mus (1/1)

Ghostface!Andriel. They're murder boyfriends who kill bad people. It was such a fun read tbh

Queer Eye For The Demi Guy by neilwrites (13/13)

Neil goes on Queer Eye. The Monsters + Allison are the fab 5. it's wonderful, I love it.

Baby I'll Bleed You Dry by priorwalter (2 part series)

The Twilight AU this fandom desperately needed. In which Andrew is Edward, Neil is Bella, and many jokes are made. I spend a solid half an hour cackling

The Gaslights Burn Brightly by This_Witch_Writes (8/8)

Okok so Andrew and Neil were childhood friends, but Neil disappears one day and everyone convinces Andrew that he never existed at all. Eight years later, they meet again at PSU. It was so. Amazing. I love this author sm

A Dad By Any Other Name by SensationalSunburst (2/2)

Coach Wymack being a dad for 5k. That's it. That's the fic. (5+1 Wymack being a dad)

Called It Home by jingerhead (1/1)

Neil is spiderman. Spoilers for No Way Home. Guys it's so good !!

What We Ask by constellationqueen (40/40)

Neil gets hurt. Andrew helps him. SUUUUPER dark guys, like. Super dark. MCD too, so watch out. Really sad but so so beautiful, I sobbed so violently my sibling thought someone had died

The Suit Universe by marie_pothos (17 part series)

Ohhhhhh my god THIS ONE!!! My all time fave series. It's a popstar AU, but Neil is basically Taylor Swift. It's all based off of Taylor Swift songs. Absolute must read, even if you don't like TS that much. It's so beautiful, and funny, and so so sweet, and just- I could go on forever about this one.

Shake My Tomb by exactly13percent_OLD (hymbeaux) (10/10)

Butcher!Neil (sorta). kevin goes to Neil for protection from Riko, so neil goes to PSU. So beautifully written, I just re-read it today. It's so good guys.

Take To The Wing by iceEckos12 (20/20)

Neil signs the contract during his Christmas at Evermore. Surprisingly fluffy for a Nest fic, and there are some absolutely wonderful OCs. I would die for Joshua.

Something In Return by reaching_my_summit (10/10)

Neil and Andrew go to Disney World. That's the whole fic. Tooth-rotting fluff, it's amazing

Funky Happenings With The Fox Family by dobbypussypopper (27/27)

THE Fox group chat fic. It's fucking hilarious, I laughed so hard I started crying.

The Marks We Make by Fortheloveofexy (11/11)

Soulmate AU. Guys, this fic. It's one of my favorites. I reread it all the time. It's so good, and so sweet, and just UGH. I adore it so much.

Falling. by Idnis (16/16)

Art School AU where Andrew is a photographer and Neil is a painter. It's so poetic and beautiful, I'm begging you to read it.

Too Gay To Function by gluupor (1/1)

Mean Girls fusion. Andrew is Regina George. Enough said.

And there you go! This is a very very small fraction of the fics I've read this year, so obviously I have more if anyone's interested.

Go forth and read !

[crystallizsch]

Hello! I really like your art and comics with Jamil and your OC. It looks very cute!

I just want your thoughts on this as a Jamil lover. I really like Jamil but Idk why??? I like him so much that I cry whenever I don't get his card or daily greetings at login. He's not usually my type like Izuku or Tanjiro. Just want to know your thoughts since you like Jamil hehe. It's ok if you don't respond!

AAH THANK YOU SO MUCH it means a lot to hear you like them i really appreciate it!! 💖💕💖💕💖

ANYWAYS as a jamil enthusiast i ask myself that question too 🤠;;

dont know what kinda hypnotizing magic he did on me but it worked bc i was incredibly neutral about jamil when i first saw him and now he lives in my head rent-free

okay in all seriousness i ended up rambling about jamil and why i like him personally and it ended up longer than intended so uh proceed with caution under the cut 🧍

(i had to look up the characters you mentioned,,, i know both of the anime but BARELY know the characters so idk how to compare other than they seem to be the benevolent hero/protagonist type???) (so on that note theyre actual opposites??? of jamil 😭)

okay so for me i personally just find jamil’s character really fascinating (and relatable???)

like his character arc drew me in i think, i legit do not recall 100% how i started liking him bc he was NOT my usual type either

i saw him before book 4 and went “okay” 🤷 and moved on 😭

my usual type is kalim actually (the sunshine type with a depressing reason for being all sunshine-y lmao) but. i did not vibe at first with how kalim looks so i didnt really get attached to him either 🤧 (im absolutely fine with him now tho 😭 ive learned to appreciate him more thanks to other kalim enjoyers)

(and tbf a lot of twst characters i didnt think i would like but here we are)

back to jamil. alright maybe it’s his looks. maybe bc he’s a pretty guy idk. but if that’s the case i wouldve been all over vil bc he’s the definition of beautiful gorgeous guy who doesnt fw with gender norms but im NOT. instead it’s JAMIL.

i think it doesn’t help that aladdin is one of my favorite disney movies too 😭 jafar has that two-faced, manipulative disposition with a side of dramatic, and insane and that’s. actually just jamil.

so maybe i guess what drew me in with jamil is that sense of theatrics, the dramatics ;;; that dichotomy of having that level-headed, intelligent front he puts up but then also having this unhinged, unfiltered side that he shows when he is free to be more himself

i’m a sucker for seemingly calm and collected characters on the outside and then their true self being WAY more different and expressive

(i think this would make more sense if you’ve seen aladdin and if you remember how jafar is like in the movie) (i am also choosing to ignore that ONE scene with jafar and jasmine towards the end iykyk) (and the twst characters shouldnt be considered one-to-one with their disney counterparts anyway but i digress)

also scalding sands event my beloved it might be what actually sold me on him bc things like his little sister reveal and his childhood stories wrecked me

(also also i’m obsessed with his canon dynamic with kalim but that’s another thing altogether)

or maybe it’s not that deep and that i just grew attached for no particular reason 🧍 (and that reasoning in of itself should be completely fine as well if that’s your case! just. like who you like, there really doesnt have to be a reason as long as you enjoy them)

uhhhh in conclusion,,, jamil’s a really complex character tbh i could say so much more about his relatability but i feel like im already exposing myself a lot LMAO and i dont think i can properly articulate with words anyway how deeper his character is beyond my surface level thoughts

[weirdcatlive]

obviously im not pro-ai art but, im sorry, fennah is absolutely garbage at arguing against it. throughout the entire "debate" he fails to bring up any actually convincing real-world consequences, instead hyperfocusing on "humanity is gonna get lazy" for a whole 4 hours, and raving about "cultural erosion" without ever explaining what he means by that. he is constantly interrupting to ask questions that either would literally be answered if he let the other guy finish, or change the topic entirely. he is significantly softer on the guy than in his original reaction stream & brings up pretty much none of the points he made in that stream. both of them have a ridiculously narrow minded "more effort = more value" view on art and constantly shit on "modern art" (i would have loved to hear their definition of that), shad casually drops the R slur at some point with 0 pushback, they randomly get sexist for some reason and start discussing "thots"?? and "the woke mob focusing too much on race and sex" is another pressing issue for these guys apparently. all while they're constantly jacking each other off for being "the only ones smart enough to consider AI art real art", and throwing everyone who disagrees with that under the bus, without ever considering or honestly engaging with the reasons why people think that. just straight up a completely unproductive waste of several hours that should've stayed as private discord call tbh.

legit there's nothing more frustrating than the guy you want to hear argue your side doing an utterly terrible job at it. particularly a fellow artist who you would think would have the experience necessary to convey the wider art community's concerns. i guess i went into it with the wrong expectations of thinking it would be an interesting discussion of all of the pros and cons of this technology, but unfortunately it's just 2 dudes repeating the same points over and over about the hypothetical demise of humanity.

im dumping all of this in a tumblr post because its living in my head rent free and i will not suggest anyone i actually care about should subject themselves to that trainwreck just so i have someone to rant about it to lmao

[syoul]

FAN CONTENT : 　 no. 1 junnipurr ! on youtube.

[ INTRO ] 　 today is february 13th, which means it’s our favourite pocket sized lyricist and producer’s birthday! to celebrate, i’ve decided to compile a few moments of kj that live in my head rent free 🫶🫶 this can be seen a continuation to my “my viewers’ favourite kj moments” vid! 

[ ROBOTIC VOICE OVER ] 　 i really just wanted to talk more about kj’s talents as a writer and producer. like, i get why oliver said he’d want to perform a lobotomy on kj. i do too tbh.

exhibit a: our beginning. the group’s debut album was worked on by all the members but kj wrote and composed basically all of our beginning by himself and it fucking wrecks me everytime like???? AND IT'S ONLY A B-SIDE???? oh to be loved by this man… their two title songs already had me interested but from the moment i heard that song i just had to stan. 

exhibit b: his skills have been recognized not only by bang chan, but woozi of svt as well and even other senior producers in the industry. his knowledge and ear for music can only be described as unrivaled in the industry. i mean, we’re talking about someone who ENJOYS music theory and does it for fun. no sane person does that. 

but anyways, enough of my rambles. enjoy!

　　 SEOJUN’S SOLO LATE-NIGHT VLIVE. 

[ CONTEXT ] 　 a fellow yu challenged seojun to make a song using only the word “taco”, which he took seriously. 

seojun eyes flick across his computer screen set up behind the camera, mouse clicks and the occasional typing on his keyboard filling the room. brows furrowed, he stretches his arms above his head and sighs at the way his back pops.  

“aish yunies,” he says, a teasing but also annoyed tone in his voice. he runs his tongue over his teeth and sucks in a breath.  [ he’s so hot when frustrated. sue me. ]  “i’m not too sure about this one.” 

“this part here works—” he makes a click on the mouse and the start of a song starts to play. “—but i can’t get the rest to line up nicely.”  

he turns in his chair, moving closer to face the camera, and shakes his head. adjusting the baseball cap on his head, seojun opens his phone and scrolls through the comments. 

“‘the great seojun has finally been defeated’ yah! i haven’t given up yet.”

he scratches his neck and leans back in his chair, staring up at the ceiling and letting out a deep sigh.  [ this isn’t a png, guys. my man was tired 😭 ]  he stares at his phone again. 

“do you guys think kai-yah will answer me if i call him?” he stands up out of his chair and paces around the room to stretch his legs before squatting down to look into the camera, holding his phone up to show the time. “it’s three am right now but i bet he’s still up.”  [ boy 🤨 ] 

seojun sits back down and scrolls before ringing up kj with the phone on speaker. after the third ring, the man of the hour picks up. 

“hello?” kj says quietly, audibly tired.  [ his voice is so 😓 you don’t understand ] 

“kaiyangi~” seojun coos sweetly into the phone, “i’m live right now.” 

“oh.” there’s some shuffling heard over the phone. “hyung, it’s a quarter past three.” 

“yeah and?” seojun says blankly. “did i wake you?” 

kj responds with a loud sigh and seojun laughs. 

“no… i was still up.”  [ someone please get these guys some melatonin… ] 

“do you think you can help me with something really quick?” the older asks, setting down the phone and turning to his computer. 

[ insert seojun explaining the problem at 2x speed. i have no idea what he’s yapping about even after translations 💀 ] 

there’s a moment of silence after seojun is done before kj chimes in with a small, “ah, i see.” 

“i’ve been working on this for two hours.”  [ never thought i’d see seojun get stumped on a track until this live 🫢 ]  a slight whine seeps into the leader’s voice. “yunies keep teasing me and saying to give up.”

“you should give up. go to sleep.”  

“yah! that’ the exact opposite of what you’re supposed to say,” seojun pouts, nose scrunched for a brief moment. “where’s my ‘you can do this, hyung! i believe in you! fighting!’?” [ his impression of kj kills me everytime 😭 ]

“not here, that's for sure.” 

the older slumps in his seat with an annoyed whine, taking off his cap and running a hand through his hair again, as kj chuckles in the background. 

“you’re such a child, hyung.” there’s a moment of pause before he speaks up again, “have you tried…”

[ insert kj talking about more music knowledge that hurts my brain at 2x speed. god i wish is was musically gifted. ]

“ah,” seojun drawls out, fingers working fast along the keyboard. pressing play once again, he listens to the adjusted sound and leans back with a smile before pausing it and grabbing for his phone again. 

“it sounds way better, kai-yah,” he says with a large grin on his face, “thank you, jun number two.” 

“mhm, anytime,” kj responds softly. “can i ask what this is even for, hyung?” 

“oh. a yu challenged me to make a song using only the word taco,” he answers with a smile still on his face. shuffling can be heard again through the other end of the phone. seojun sits up straighter and raises an eyebrow at the delayed response. 

“hello? kaiyangi? kai-yah? my favourite child?” 

“go to sleep, seojun hyung,” kj sighs, exasperated. “you’re delirious. i’m hanging up.”

“what? wait no don’t go just yet. keep me company for a bit longer my sweet apple tart, my baby hone-” the end tone beeps before seojun it enveloped in silence again. 

he looks at the phone as if it had offended him and cursed his bloodline and slowly raises his head back to stare dead on into the stream camera. 

“he actually did it.” 

　　 CODE NAME: SO(U)L  — EP. ???  [ i forgot sorry 😭😭 ] 

normal – korean 　 italics – english 　 bold – other specified language

oliver is busy talking to the camera during his one-on-one interview when seojun quietly comes up beside him in frame, hands slowly sneaking up to unbutton the other’s shirt. 

“and that’s wh- yah!” oliver swats at seojun’s hand; the leader had managed to undo two, revealing the then blonde’s collarbones and just above when his pecs start. “stop that!” 

“hot sexy guy oliver in the house!” seojun shouts before running off, leaving the older of the two shaking his head with a sigh and redoing his shirt. 

“that guy i swear,” he tsked, looking at the camera sternly. oliver goes to say something else but is cut off by another voice.

“ah men.” the camera quickly pans to the side. kj is sitting in one of the dressing chairs, the stylist fiddling with his hair ducking her head into her arm with laughter as he catches the camera from the mirror’s reflection. “this is why you don’t trust them.”  [ 💀💀 ]

“you are a man!” oliver retorts with a laugh. 

“yeah, and i don’t trust myself either.” he raises a brow. “your point is?” 

oliver shakes his head with a sigh and a tired look to the camera. 

“gong kaijun, everyone.”

　　 ISEUL’S 26TH BIRTHDAY LIVE 

“yo wait, hyung,” ryo says through a mouthful of cake, nudging iseul with his elbow as mars tries to frantically save the younger’s image, “hyung, how old are you now?” 

“aish this kid,” he mutters. “i’m twenty six now.” 

“wow, hyung’s half fifty two,” kj mumbles to himself, head angled downwards as he pokes at a piece of cake on his plate with his fork. “he’ll have to be put in a nursing home soon.”  [ i snorted so hard at this 🖐️😭 ]

seven barks out a loud laugh, slapping a hand over his mouth  [ someone save him ] and ducking his face out of the frame, and ryo joins in soon after. kj looks up, confusion written on his face.

“oh, i said that out loud, didn’t i?” 

“you’re going to be the end of me.” with a roll of the eyes, iseul hits the back of kj’s head lightly with a scowl.  

“i mean…” the younger takes on a thoughtful look, index finger tapping his chin, “as long as you put me in the will…”

[ iseul looks so done this poor poor guy 😔 ] 

　　 MULTILINGUAL BADASSERY W/ FO SQUAD

“i’m curious.” lou looks up from the tablet in his hand. “what language do you guys use in the dorms?” 

oliver, mars, and kj all hum in understanding. 

“one of your members, ryo?” oliver nods. “is japanese and you—“ lou gestures to kj. “—and mars are chinese or half chinese. 

“you, kj, and oliver are also fluent in english. do you guys all only talk in korean or does it depend on the member?” 

“well,” oliver sighs, brows furrowed and rubbing his chin, “gosh man.” 

“it’s hard to explain, but we usually talk in korean. sometimes english too. all of us can understand it to various levels,” kj chuckles. 

“he speaks six,” mars says, patting kj on the arm. “kai is very smart.” 

“you speak six languages?” one of the hosts states at kj with his mouth agape as the other laughs. 

“mhm,” kj says with a nod, “but i’m only fluent in four.” 

“‘bUt i’M oNLy fLuEnT In FoUR’ bro what?”  [ #literallyme when kj said that 😭 ]  ous tosses his hands and leans back in his seat. “don’t even play that game with me right now.”

oliver throws his head back with a cackle and kj laughs into his hands. 

“i usually respond in the language that the person started the conversation with,” he says, fanning his face to calm down. “like, if mars talks to me in chinese, i’ll respond in chinese.”  [ we love a guy who can communicate ] 

“how does your brain function, what?” ous covers his mouth and sighs. “holy man…” 

[ i didn’t include this part in the clip (because it would be almost the entire interview if i did-) but kj later says he tries to pick up on different languages on tour to talk to yunies 🥹😓😓 so technically, he knows more than just six. ]

[ ROBOTIC VOICE OVER ] 　 there were so many more i wanted to include but then this video would be an hour long 💀💀 anyways, in conclusion, stan kj, stan syoul, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR WORLD PRODUCER!! 

[rearranged-fanfic]

Update (3/15)

I'm never actually going to get a chapter out on time. Lol. I am resigned to the fact that this is my truth.

So, fun stuff these past three weeks.

The next chapter? I hate it. It has been the bane of my existence for several reasons. I've deleted either the whole thing or massive parts of it no less than six times now. I've probably typed and retyped somewhere between 30K words for this one alone. I'm not happy with it at all. I've already put it off for another week, and I still can't get it the way I want. The perfectionist in me is telling me to pound it out until it's acceptable. The person inside who wants to meet my deadlines is screaming at me to just upload it in its current state and change it later.

I'm finishing it, though. Or, as finished as I can get it in an extra day. So, one more day and it'll be out for you guys to view to your hearts' content.

In other news, while battling frustration with the story, I've tried to distract myself from it so that my anger doesn't bleed into my writing. And I've wound up getting back into one of my old favorite chill games: My Time at Portia. I've put somewhere around 500 hours into it, and still love it. Lol. If you like things like Stardew Valley or Animal Crossing, you'll probably like Portia, too.

I've started rewatching My Hero Academia and Demon Slayer with my husband. Both of those things are living in my head rents free as well, alongside this fic and my game.

So, now I'm resisting the urge to contribute to a smaller, less-saturated fandom or pairing. Like, there are ten million GojoXReader stories, but what about for Arlo? Or Hawks? Or best boi Rengoku Kyojuro? Arrrggggh! The ADHD beckons, and I must resist its call!

I wish I could pause time so that I can write all the things I want to!

Also, I tried to unwind by watching The Boy and the Heron to celebrate its win at the Oscars. And I feel like I'm being gaslit by the world and anime community as a whole. Because it was… not great. Like, it was a genuinely incohesive and confusing movie? The plot was chaotic and nonsensical? The characters weren't very fleshed out? Character motivations suffered due to poor pacing? Emotional payoff was non-existant? The plot "reveals" weren't satisfying? The worldbuilding was lackluster and simultaneously too involved but not involved enough? There was a crappy third-act villain? The English dub is mid (barring Robert Pattinson, who is stellar, TBH); Why the fuck did Christian Bale decide that a Godfather-esque mafioso accent would be fitting for a WW era Japanese man when nobody else in the movie sounds like that?!

IDK… I went in expecting this to be on the same level as Howl's Moving Castle, Princess Mononoke, or Spirited Away. And I feel like we got Tales From Earthsea all over again. Except this time, for whatever reason, it won an award and is being praised as Miyazaki's magnum opus?!

I was actually salty for days. Scratch that; I'm still salty.

So... in conclusion, I'm back, bitches. And I'm vibing to the music of my own internal screaming.

[gingerteaonthetardis]

wanna prompt me? go for it! my ask box is currently open.

what i will write for:

DW: timepetals in all* forms (nuwho and classic); doctorjackrose; rose x any companions who give off even an ounce of gay energy (bill, ace, charley, martha, clara, donna, idgaf i will write it); charleightrose (iykyk)

DWxTTOI: malcolm tucker x rose tyler (let's face it, none of you know what i'm on about with this one. but i live in hope.)

BTVS: spuffy

TXF: msr

TWILIGHT: bella x jacob; bella x paul; bella x really any of the wolves because tbh the cullens don't exist to me; bella x jessica

ORIGINAL STUFF: ???? (i will literally just spitball about the high context shit that lives rent free in my head. werewolf polycules, bisexuals in the underworld, regency dramas, girls who accidentally made god fall in love with them... like, it will truly just be Whatever I'm Thinking About Today. no idea why you'd want that, but it's an option.)

*with one exception—i do not currently take tentoorose prompts, as i've done a lot of them in the past and am honestly just burnt out. sorry, guys.

do i accept nsfw prompts? yes! if you want your fill to be nsfw, please be sure to include that in the ask! (if you specifically ask for something that is a squick or trigger for me, i might have to pass and i'll let you know, no hard feelings.)

do i write quickly? no! please be patient, i do this in my free time.

how long will the prompt fill be? depends on a variety of factors! how i'm doing mentally/physically, how much time i have, what i want the fic structure to be, how inspiring the prompt is... safe answer is more than 1k words, but less than 5k. (unless i go buck wild for some reason. it's happened before.)

do i only write shippy stuff? no! i accept prompts for platonic dynamics, though usually not for characters i write as a couple. (for example: platonic doctorrose would be... challenging for me and i'd prefer to write something else, but platonic rose and mickey? other friendships, canon or fanon? i can do!)

"i have a really specific prompt in mind, not something from the prompt lists you've shared. will you accept it?" if it's about the characters we both know and love, probably, yeah! send it and see!

"i have absolutely nothing in mind, but still want to prompt you...?" that's totally fine! here are some prompts for your perusal:

three words + a character/pairing

august prompts

october one word writing challenge

doctor x rose christmas prompts

a hundred assorted prompts

physical affection prompts

two characters + a prompt

blossoming romance prompts

"accidentally turned on" otp prompts

"i want to ask for a pairing/character you didn't include, though." for now, please don't (unless you are a treasured mutual and we've discussed this beforehand). there are plenty of wonderful writers in the world who might be better able to give you what you want!

finally, to read past prompts or other fics, check out my AO3! (there's no spuffy there, alas. but i'm trying to fix that...)

[finchesslingshott]

AH YES THE LONG-AWAITED GREAT GATSBY CAST ALBUM NOTES FROM FINCH READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

roarin’ on - 10/10

this song has literally been on loop since it first came out

has zero right to be this much of a banger

lives in my head rent free

oh nick carraway the man you are

“tonight lets misbehaaaaaave” scratches my brain in just the right way

WHERES THE PARTY AND CAN YOU TAKE ME THERE ANDDD WHEN THE PARTYS OVER CAN YOU FIND ANOTHER PARTY SOMEWHEREEEE

harmonies my beloved

“turns out: manhattan is expensive!” nick carraway laugh line era is so good

“with his arms spread to the SKYYYYYYYYY” oh i love tenors so much

nick’s speaking voice is so silly i love it he’s just a little guy

the ensembles little “oh oh oh oh”s make me so happy

ORCHESTRA MARRY ME

NICKS TENOR RANGE GOOD GRAVY IT NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE ME

absolute rose - 7.5/10

the ukulele goes crazy

jordan’s dialogue is so silly what a woman

DAISYS LITTLE GIGGLE IM GONNA DIE

ew tom i visibly frowned

ORCHESTRA I LOVE YOU

tom no one likes you shut your face

oh daisy’s voice what a woman

new money - 8.7/10

OK GET IT THIS BEAT IS SO GOOD WHAT THE HECK

samantha pauly i love you

AAA CHROMATIC SCALE MY EYES ACTUALLY WIDENED

its almost like 80s core as well as having that 20s swing and i love it

WOLFSHEIM!!!! HEY POOKS (my favorite minor character he doesnt get talked about enough)

“who’s the teahcer?” “thats nick carraway”

the rumors section oh my goodness i literally cant ensemble i literally love you

“do you believe thay about mr gatsby?” “WHAAT?”

oh jordan your speaking voice dear

JORDANNNN

for her - 9.5/10

ITS OUR BOY LADS OH MY GOSH

oh orchestra oh lyrics oh jeremy

“daisyyyy” IM CRYING

the smooth switches between falsetto and full chest voice just adds to the emotion

ORCHESTRAAAAAA

OH ITS THE PART FROM TIKTOK

ok enunciation and emotion get it jeremy

LITERALLY IN ACTUAL TEARS OH MY WORD JEREMY

oh strings you and your tremolo are killing me over here

“now she has TOOOOO KNOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW ITS ALLLL FOR HERRRRRRRRRRRRRR”

valley of ashes - 7.5/10

this beat is so cool oh my gosh 

who is this singing??? i cant tell??? 

OHHHH ITS THAT GUY HEY WILSON

talking to the billboard of the doctors eyes is actually a detail i had headcanoned when i originally read the book and this is actually making me so happy

oh wilson and his wife (whos name i forgot)

“youve got the eyes of God / if God needed glasses”

that was actually so cool what

way too short

second-hand suit - 8.7/10

im loving the ukulele content in this musical 100/10

this role is so clarisse la rue from the lightning thief and i love it

the mood and beat change when she starts talking about tom is insane

the drum beat is so cool what

i cant remember her name for the life of me what is wrong with me

I LOVE THIS OMW NEW DREAM ROLE

for better or worse - 9.5/10

oh no oboe (?) solo i know im gonna start crying 

“and to learn that my soldier has returned / its both a blessing and a curse / is it for better or for worse?”

literally just texted my voice teacher demanding (/j) to work on this song 

“and not to thinkkk about the PAAAAAAST”

oh my gosh wow hold on crying what the flip

somehow “once upon a december” coded

OH OH OH OH NO OH NO

i think my soul just left my body

the met - 8.5/10

AWESOME BASS LINE I’M ALREADY SOLD

MYRTLE THATS HER NAME DEAR GOODNESS I THOUGHT IT WAS LIKE MIRIAM OR MARY OR SMTH 

woah mr mckees voice makes him more creepy than he alr was in the book

“i need a dose of culture / and i need a cigarette”

“in the bedroom lighting i’m an eight” is literally insane

WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON IN THIS SONG

myrtle’s sister ranking different people is literally so crazy calling gatsby a 5 when he’s literally JEREMY FLIPPING JORDAN

katherine’s myrtle’s sister’s name right???? i’m not crazy???

oh nick carraway you and your internal monologue

myrtle and tom’s fight is literally crazy “dAisY dAIsY dAisY” (SMACK)

nick straight up calling tom an asshole is so crazy i love him for it tbh

OH FUNKY BASS LINE MARRY ME

“yes… please connect me with mr. j. gatsby.” BUHM

this was one of my fav scenes in the book and they portrayed it beautifully i’m literally in love

only tea - 9/10

i love a good jeremy jordan meltdown song

“i am not okay.” me too jeremy its ok pookie

“old sport” HE SAID IT HE SAID THE THING I’M GONNA START CRYING

ok the beat yes oh my gosh the goofy little trumpet slides and ukulele my beloved

“i’m gonna walk into the ocean” jay gatsby stop making me kin you

ok ensemble vocals get it

the voice crack on “cASUal” im in love

his voice cracks in general what a man

poor nick man 

i think jeremy’s playing jay to be bipolar and i’m here for it /hj

green light - 10/10

hoooooo boy ok here we go

this is one of the ones i still havent listened to even though it was released early

the falsetto jeremy you’re killing me here

calling her “daisy faye” instead of “daisy buchanan” is so symbolic of him like seeing her as his instead of legally tom’s

oh eva noblezada what a woman you are

the mood/orchestral change when daisy started singing i’m dead

OH THEYRE SINGING TOGETHER IM GONNA DIE

oh theyre definitely kissing why else would they have this random orchestral break thats somehow so similar to “something to believe in” from newsies

the emotion in their voices urhgjgdjdjdjfjfdjdksoaoeokgkf

the harmoniesss

ooh bet theyre kissing again

THE FINAL NOTE OH MY GOSH

the next “something to believe in” i fear

shady - 7.5/10

UH OH IM EXCITED

MORE WOLFSHEIM CONTENT???

his voice is so cool

he’s so tevye coded i cant even explain how or why but he is

AAAAAAAAA DOUBLE BASS I COULD CRY

this instrumental is killing me goodness gravy

“everybodys a little bit shady / the world keeps spinning if you grease the wheel” goes hard

ensemble vocals go harddddd

better hold tight - 8.7/10

more standup bass i could die

“i think i see the stars aligning / or my standards are my declining”

NICK AND HIS VIBRATO I’M SCREAMING

“what you did might be taboo / but i like that look on you” 

i need my next (if any) boyfriend to be a tenor so he can sing this with me

SCREAMING I LOVE THEM

past catching up to me - 9.5/10

oh jerjor your precious little voice can you marry me yet

“she kissed me and swore she’d never stray / then the world got in the way”

this is the new tenor song along with santa fe and great expectations

GET IT DRUMS WOO GO ORCHESTRA

THE KEY CHANGE. OH MY GOSH.

HAD NO RIGHT HITTING ME WITH A C5 (?) JEREMY POOKIE WHAT

ENSEMBLE VOCALS JUST ADD TO IT ALDKGKFKSKSKRKFKDSA

la dee dah with you - 8.5/10

ok just from the orchestral stuff its alr a banger

this is the big tap number right????

whos singing??? this isnt jordan??? is this just an nyc girl from annie type situation?

i’m confused but its a banger so i dont care

oh im so sure the choreo is so impossibly good

YES THE TAPS LETS FLIPPING GO AKDKFLFLSLERLGLDLSKA

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

yep this is it this is what i wanna do with my life

the ensemble hootin and hollerin just adds to it

TOO SHORT.

go - 8.7/10

YAY ANOTHER MENTAL BREAKDOWN SONG!

somehow violet beaudelaire x quigley quagmire core if you know what i mean

“if we wait until we’re ready we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives” core

them <333333333

ew tom spoke i hate him

“i love you lets go / before i change my mind”

these harmonies ugh

ORCHESTRA ILY

too short again

made to last - 9/10

is this tom?? i cant tell?????

OH IT IS LETS GO

OH MY GOSH ITS THE GATSBY TOM FIGHT LETS FLIPPING GO

i really wanna see how this is staged…

OK SMOOTH KEY CHANGE

the conflicting vocal parts in the argument im gonna actually die

tom desperately trying to win me over with his vocal parts

oh its so “nonstop” coded im gonna actually die

for better or worse (reprise) - 7.5/10

its my pookies oml

oh samantha pauly your voice

they better kiss

TOO SHORT

one-way road - 9/10

MYRTLE??? OH MY GOSH???

“WATCH THE ROAD ASSHOLE”

“wait what if i become her?”

the callbacks to second hand suit make me happy

yeah no this is my role i’ve claimed it now

i swear the amount of mental breakdown songs in this music i live for it

YES MYRTLE POP OFF

God sees everything - 8.7/10

lets go george pop off king

TOO SHORT WHAT THE FLIP

for her (reprise) - 8/10

YES CELLO YEA STRINGS AAAAAAAAAAAA

can someone love me like jay gatsby loves daisy buchanan

new money (reprise) - 8.3/10

ugh this beat kills me every time i cant even

DSGLAFJKLDSKLD ENSEMBLE I LOVE YOU

my fav reprise by far oh my GOSH

dying dead

TOO SHORT WTFFFF

beautiful little fool - 9/10

prepared to cry alr oh gosh

the whispery quality of her voice rn i’m gonna die eva pls

“It’s a girl the nurse said / and i broke, and i broke”

the piano instrumental killing me jeeeeeeez

“the best thing a girl can be in this world is a beautiful little fool” line taken STRAIGHT from the book and it KILLS me every single time i read it sdjadljksdljafdshlsdfjakdshdfask

oh eva noblezada your VOICE

OHHH THE CALLBACK TO ABSOLUTE ROSE I’M DEAD

ORCHESTRA MARRY ME HODSJGKSLAFKDGLJFADKSGLFAKDHGSLJFADHGS

texting my voice teacher rn

finale: roaring on - 9.5/10

YAY NICK HEY POOKS YOU EAT UP THAT MONOLOGUE KING

this is partially taken from the book uihsialfdjsghkfljdg i’m gonna cry

“I can still see gatsby / standing in silhouette” ok homo /pos

YES TENOR NOTE MY BELOVED

“with infinite hope / that made him fool enough to try / that light across the water was always out of reach / so why do we (x3) keep reaching”

OOOO BEAT CHANGE KILLING ME

YAY ROARING ON ODGJSHOAPLSFJDKGSHDLJFADHSGJJLFAD

DIRECT QUOTES FROM THE BOOK HOLY CRAPPPPPPP

WHERES THE PARTY AND CAN YOU TAKE ME THERRREEEEE-

genuinely in tears oh my GOSH

IN CONCLUSION

SURPRISINGLY cohesive to the book which made me so happy - the direct quotes had me SCREAMINGGGGG

phenomenal cast literally would die to breathe the same air as any of them

dream role is myrtle she sounds like a soprano belter sorry i don’t make the rules

JEREMY. FREAKING. JORDAN.

ORCHESTRA. ENSEMBLE. I LOVE YOU.

[justarandomhelluvablog]

alright it's official I'm rooting for Ozzie/Fizz/Blitz/Stolas polycule 👍

"You've lived rent-free in Fizz' head for years, so I can't help feel he values your take on things." - Ozzie going to Blitz for backup

"Well, my special skills are killing things without giving fucks and pointing out people's flaws... alright, count me in!" - Blitz being Blitz

"Come on, it's just like old times. I'll make sure no one gives you shit today." || "You mean besides you?" -Blitz & Fizz banter gives me life

Fizz covering Blitz' ass after Blitz insults Mammon, love that

Also another Fizz-Blitz banter moment: "He thinks he's funny." || "Offended." (Fizz & Blitz, respectively)

the ATTITUDE. Blitz coming in with the comeback and Fizz changing up his posture/attitude to match Blitz', just. Them.

He protect 🥺 but also the fact that he didn't kill this guy right here for everyone to see after seeing Fizz' expression hh

Blitz is so gentle with him now that they've made up I love him. We all know he's a softie underneath but ya know, ya love to see it

Don't have a screenshot for this bc it's a whole scene but can we talk about how before, Blitz claimed Fizz didn't have to try for anything, but in this episode Fizz is saying how he needs to do this to prove he's still good enough and Blitz (as well as Ozzie) are telling him he doesn't need to prove anything? Just. Ugh, THEM.

(also Fizz finally calling Blitz "Blitz" and not "Blitzo" I'm hhhh)

"That guy is a fucking dick, and he's USING you for everything, 'cause you're likeable, and he's a fucking trashfire."

Blitz' absolute worry when Fizz runs.....

Unrelated to Blitz and Fizz' relationship, are we gonna. Uh. Talk about how Fizz' scars aren't pure white? Blitz' are but Fizz' aren't (Blitz' scars are the same color as Fizz' foundation). I assume it's a stylistic choice to show that he hides his "undesired" markings here (the makeup comes off and shows his original markings, and having the area around it be different from his makeup better shows what's going on) and they're actually the same color but I thought it was interesting. Also the black of his horns is super faded out so...

And of course that whole scene with Ozzie was heart melting but enough people talk about that, so moving on-

FIZZ' SONG. God it was so good. And Mammon just dancing along... beautiful. Fizz quitting so publicly, YESSSS KING.

Anyway this

I hope we see more of them honestly. Blitz becoming Fizz' go-to bodyguard/Blitz just sitting in the rafters of his shows waiting for someone to be Weird™ would be so fun actually. But also probably the first time Fizz has been so DELIGHTED to see Blitz kill someone they are everything to me.

Again I would need a whole video but Fizz ripping his clothes as he goes as he sings his "I fucking quit" song, I hope it means we get to see him out of the clown costume/persona (tbh it would delight me if he ditches it for good, ripping it up isn't very good symbolism if you're just gonna put it back on again). I want to see more of who he genuinely is <3

VERY sad it took Fizz so long to finally see/understand what Blitz saw immediately. Wonder if things would have been different if Blitz had just... told Fizz what he really thought of Mammon when they were younger. If Blitz' opinion mattered so much... of course, maybe he did. It would explain why if Mammon was the one to separate them.

just them <3

"So, uh.... who tops?"

This is so funny but also Ozzie's smile I love that. They all know the answer.