#guys it’s so sweet when you see a fish post and tag me in it YAYAYAYAYA

[3v1l-0m3n-0f-d3ath]

THIS SO BEAUTIFUL

GUH I LOVE SOCKEYE SALMON

This year's birthday animation

[smartkookiee]

How to Lose A Guy in 30 Days || Ch.4 — jjk.

❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀° ❥pairing: Jungkook x Reader (she/her, afab) ❥genre/rating: strangers to lovers, 18+ ❥chapter warnings/tags: software engineer!Jungkook, writer!Reader, flirting, some family drama, crazy and manipulative mom stuff, movie night, some domesticity, they are cute for like five seconds before everything goes to shit (whoops), Jimin and Tae being little shits, Jin being a real homie, some heavy misunderstanding and miscommunication ❥word-count: 7.1k ❥Series Masterlist Previous Chapter ||❥|| Next chapter fic is cross posted to ao3 send an ask or comment on post to be added to the tag list. a/n: Hi everyone I know this is a short chapter but I hope you enjoy anyway, this chapter introduces some important stuff so I really like it. Enjoy <3 ❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀°

Day 07

“12 dates is hilarious.” 

Jin, Ronnie, and Namjoon all snickered as you explained your last date with Jungkook, explaining the end and your sorry excuse to get out of his apartment. 

“I couldn’t think of anything else! I needed some excuse to leave and then he asked me how many dates, and I just thought of the first number that felt ridiculous.” You run your hands through your hair, laughing at yourself. The four of you gathered in your small living room, you had taken to laying on the floor. Picking out fibers from the rug you had. Jin sitting next to you and Namjoon and Ronnie on the couch. 

“What did he say?” Ronnie asked.

Suddenly a buzz from your phone, a small piece of you wondering if maybe it was a text from him. Seeing who it was, your disappointment became evident but you tried to play it off. Not in the mood to respond to who that text actually came from. Setting your phone down on the coffee table face down. 

Thinking back to the shocked and then cool and collected look Jungkook had on his face was amusing, “Oh he was fine with it, maybe a little surprised. Said he just needed to plan for ten more dates.” 

“At least he’s got some class.” Jin poked your forehead. The disappointment from whatever text you got was evident on your face.

He had a lot more class than any of you had given him credit for. “So what comes next for the two of you?” Namjoon asked, curiosity had filled the room the whole morning about what your next steps would be.

Another buzz comes from your phone, you don’t need to check it. You know who it’s from. You ignore it and continue, “Well I think I can start to turn up the heat.” You sit up. “Which is the hard part of all of this.”

“Oh you’ve got this. If you can almost break your own nose in front of him, surely anything else will be a piece of cake.” Ronnie assured you with a wink and you roll your eyes. 

“Still sore to be honest.” You say touching the end of your nose. Remembering the concern on Jungkook’s face when you had hit yourself, it was sweet. 

“When are you going out next? I want to help you plan.” Jin bounced in his spot next to you. 

You placed a hand on his shoulder to hold him in place. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, I haven’t even heard from him.” Another buzz from your phone, you ignore it again. Wishful thinking would make it be Jungkook. 

“Why not call him? Who says you have to wait on the guy?” Namjoon suggests. 

“You think I should?” You felt a little nervous and unsure. 

Ronnie nods, giving Namjoon a pat on the shoulder. “Namjoon's right, plus you’ve already called him so the ice is already broken!” 

Jin, grabs your phone from your coffee table, holding it to you, “Oh do it now! We can help!” 

You take your phone but right at that moment you get another text. Putting it at four already, your face dropped a little as you just ignored them opening your phone. Finding Jungkook’s contact and almost pressing call but suddenly you realized how close everyone was and they were all staring at you with big and intent eyes. You very quickly understood what it felt like to be a fish in a bowl. 

“Okay freaks, I’m doing this in the other room.” You stand to your feet, but Jin pulls you back down and they all protest. 

“No! No no we’ll be good I swear.” Ronnie said, sitting straight up in her spot like you were a teacher. 

“Swear.” Jin crossed over his heart.

“...Fine.” You groan.  You decided to press call. Waiting for a moment, immediately regretting your decision. You didn’t have a single clue what you were going to say. 

The phone rang and rang, it was possible he was busy and you were almost going to hang up. Just as that moment line picked up, there was shuffling on the other end before the line cleared. 

“Hello?” Jungkook’s voice came through the line, he sounded groggy and probably not awake. It was 11 you didn’t think it was too early to call. 

“Hi.” Your voice is turning lighter than you would normally use it. “Uhh good morning! Did I wake you?” 

You look to the others and Namjoon is gesturing for you to put the phone on speaker but you wave him off. One, for the off chance one of them laughs and completely embarrass you. Two, you didn’t need every second of this situation invaded by your friends. 

Jungkook let out a tired laugh, “Yeah but I don’t mind… Good morning.” 

"I was just sort of calling to say hi…" You hesitated, then smiled. "Which I’ve already done, so I guess I could just hang up now."

Jungkook hummed, amusement slipping into his tone. "Well, it’s a good thing you called. I was just having a crazy dream about us." 

“Oh us?” 

"Yeah. Something about you coming over and us having a movie night… details are fuzzy, but that was the gist of it."

“Hmm sounds like a pretty lame dream.” 

"Lame?" Jungkook scoffed. "I thought it was sweet. A classic date formula."

"I’m teasing, can’t mess with a classic. Well, speaking of that." You started, shifting your phone to your other ear. "I was actually going to see if you were free today… or tonight, I guess."

Jungkook made a dramatic show of shuffling around on the other end of the line, as if checking a nonexistent schedule. "Let me see… yep. A whole lot of nothing planned for today."

"Wow, what an eventful life you lead."

"I know. Truly, I’m booked and busy."

You bit back a laugh. "Okay, can I come to yours again? I have some errands on that side of town."

A small fib. You didn’t actually have errands, but you weren’t ready to have Jungkook over at your place. 

"Yeah, that’s fine." Jungkook said easily, followed by a yawn. "Text me some snacks you like, and I’ll go get them."

"Oh, you don’t have to do that."

"I have nothing better to do today anyway." There was a sound of sheets rustling, like he was stretching. "Text me when you’re on your way."

"Alright. See you later."

With that, you ended the call, exhaling deeply before finally looking up—only to find three pairs of eyes locked onto you with identical expressions of giddy anticipation.

You groaned. "Okay, I’m leaving."

Namjoon smirked. "It’s your house."

You stand just to go into your kitchen, honestly trying to step aside. Because you got five more texts in the span of that call. You knew exactly who from, and you were finding your anxiety building on your stomach. Twisting and turning as you read the messages, Jin coming over to you in your focused concern. 

“It’s happening again, isn’t it?” He says it quietly, Namjoon and Ronnie distracted with some conversation by themselves. 

You don’t look at him shielding your phone, “That easy to tell?”

“You looked like you saw a ghost when you looked at your phone, then continued to intentionally ignore it. I’m a bit of a  detective” He leans on one hip bringing his pointer finger and thumb up to his chin. Obviously trying to make you feel better. “Let me guess, back in the country?” 

“I guess so…” You pause, you get another text. 

Are you going to respond to me? Hello?

You sigh, shoving your phone in your pocket, Jin sighs. “You can talk about it if you would like.” 

"No." You shut it down quickly, then, realizing how defensive you sounded, cleared your throat. "No… it’s fine. I’ll be fine. It goes like this every time." 

Jin arched a brow. "Yeah, and every time, you give in." 

"I know." You murmured. "It’s just… sometimes hard to say no."

"But you have to." His tone was firm but not unkind. "It won’t be like last time, right?"

You swallowed. "Right."

Jin was clearly not convinced, but he let it go. "If you need backup, let me know. I’ll hover around you like a helicopter if you need."

You let out a weak laugh. "I won’t need that. I just have to keep details short. If I talk about my promotion at all, it’ll turn into a whole thing."

"I know. I was there last time." Jin said, voice laced with frustration—not at you, but at the situation. "Just… don’t let yourself get guilt-tripped into giving her money again. You know it’s not going to where she says it is."

“It’s…not always like that…” A lie, a knee jerk excuse. One you had been trying to stop making.

“Uh-huh." Jin gave you a look. "Just try to remember how bad things got. I know she’s your mom but she has a way of convincing you things aren’t so bad.” 

There it was. Mom. Or as she liked to put it, your best friend.

"As long as she doesn’t start showing up at my house, it’ll be fine." You said, picking at your nails. "After that, it’ll be hard to get her to leave…"

Jin watched you closely, eyes scanning your nervous fidgeting, but instead of pressing further, he simply bumped his shoulder against yours.

"Come on," He said, his voice deliberately lighter. "No more talk about her. Take out your anxiety on Jungkook instead."

You snorted, shaking your head. "That’s not how that works."

Jin smirked. "Could be. Just make his life a little difficult for fun." He gave you a playful shove back toward the living room.

"So," Ronnie said as you rejoined them. "What’s your plan for tonight?"

You let out a slow breath, feeling a familiar little spark of mischief flicker in your chest.

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Jungkook spent the day tidying up his apartment—not that it was messy to begin with, but he wanted things to be nice. After all, you were coming over. He even grabbed some snacks, per your request, carefully picking out a selection he thought you'd like. It had been a while since he spent a Saturday night in, but honestly, he was looking forward to it.

Last week getting to know you had been easy, comfortable in a way he hadn’t expected. If the next month went like this, he’d coast through without a hitch. That is, as long as there weren’t any more unnecessary interruptions. Like Channel.

Except tonight, he had a different interruption to deal with.

A series of loud knocks echoed through his apartment just as he was pouring chips into a bowl. He sighed, already sensing trouble before he even reached the door.

"Jungkookie!" Taehyung’s familiar voice called from the other side, followed by the sound of muffled laughter—Jimin, no doubt.

Jungkook frowned as he swung the door open, revealing both of them standing there with far too much excitement for two people who weren’t supposed to be here.

"You’re not dressed." Jimin pointed out immediately, gesturing to Jungkook’s sweatpants and oversized t-shirt like they personally offended him.

"Am I supposed to be?" Jungkook asked, already feeling the beginnings of a headache.

"Uh, yeah. We have plans." Taehyung said, pushing past him into the apartment without hesitation. Jimin followed, shaking his head in disappointment.

Jungkook turned, face scrunching in confusion. "No, we don’t."

Jimin scoffed, crossing his arms. "We always go out on Saturdays. It’s tradition. Like breathing, or me looking better than Taehyung."

"You wish." Taehyung muttered before grabbing a handful of popcorn from Jungkook’s snack spread.

"Well, not tonight." Jungkook said firmly, closing the door and facing them with finality. "Y/N is coming over. We’re hanging out."

Jimin raised an eyebrow and did a slow scan of the room, eyes landing on the array of snacks, the neatly arranged couch, and the cozy atmosphere Jungkook had set up.

"Oh. Hanging out." He echoed, a teasing lilt in his voice.

Jungkook narrowed his eyes. "Not like that. Actually just hanging out."

"So you’re ditching us?" Taehyung asked, feigning a dramatic pout as he stuffed more popcorn into his mouth.

"To hang out with her? Absolutely."

Jimin gasped, clutching his chest. "Who are you, and what have you done with my party animal Jungkook?"

Jungkook rolled his eyes. "Nothing’s changed. I’m just taking our little bet seriously."

The moment he mentioned the bet, Taehyung and Jimin exchanged glances—silent, knowing, mischievous. They weren’t about to lose to him that easily.

"Come on, we came all this way." Taehyung tried again, leaning dramatically against the counter like he was truly heartbroken.

"Yeah, and I feel so bad." Jungkook deadpanned. "Now, please leave before I throw you out."

He ducked into the bathroom before either of them could protest further.

The second he disappeared, Jimin and Taehyung snapped into action.

"Okay, we have to do something." Jimin whispered.

Taehyung’s eyes flickered around the room before landing on Jungkook’s phone sitting on the kitchen counter. A slow, devious grin spread across his face.

"Don’t." Jimin warned, though he didn’t actually mean it.

Taehyung was already moving, snatching the phone up swiftly.

"We’re just gonna... help him out a little." He said, winking.

❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀ • *₊

Later, another knock sounded at Jungkook’s door.

He wasted no time opening it, revealing you standing there, smiling brightly. You were also dressed down. To his surprise in some very bright pink sweatpants, which were Ronnie’s, but he would never know. You also wore a very cutesy graphic t-shirt with my melody on it to match the vibe. Nothing wrong with them at all but not your usual vibe but this choice of outfit was more of an experiment. 

Jungkook didn’t seem to blink at it.

"You wear glasses?" The words tumbled out before you even said hello, your eyes locked onto the frames perched on his nose.

Jungkook blinked, caught off guard. "Uh, yeah. My contacts were irritating my eyes, so I went with these tonight."

He stepped aside to let you in, watching as you barely moved, still staring at him like he had just unlocked a whole new level of attractiveness.

"No, they’re super cute." You said quickly, almost tripping over your words.

You actually pull your eyes away though as you make your way to the living room. Needing to bite on your something since you were a stupid sucker for glasses on anyone. Realizing Jungkook had indeed gotten most of the snacks you requested and some you assumed were to his preference. 

Everything was spread over his coffee table with some precision it seemed, like he thought about where to place things intentionally. 

This was a great opener to turn on your new “Charm” that Jin had helped you perfect most of the day earlier. “Awe! This is so sweet Jungkook.” Pitching up your tone almost borderline in a baby voice. Having to fight back at cringing at yourself. Taking a seat down on the couch.

Jungkook didn’t seem to notice, “I tried. I got a couple things for the both of us.” Acting all nonchalant. Strolling around the couch and taking a seat next to you. 

You force yourself to giggle a little too obnoxiously. Hitting Jungkook in the chest with a little too much force but in a playful manner, “So what are we watching?” 

Jungkook rubs the spot where you hit him, you had much more strength than he gave you credit for. “I was going to let you choose. I’m not too picky when it comes to movies.” 

“Oh yay!” You clap your hands together, god you really hated this. This was not you, Jungkook seemed to be a little thrown by your giddiness but it was whatever. You grab the remote he strategically placed on the table. Guess he had prepared for this. “What to pick, the choices are endless.” 

Which it actually had you in a small panic, you weren’t ready to have to pick the movie. You had a hard enough time just telling Jungkook what snacks you wanted. While you began to pursue, Jungkook’s phone sounded with the dig from a text.  You glanced sideways for a quick second, Jungkook pulling out his phone to see who it was from. 

Jungkook's expressions seemed throne and confused by the text that came through. Then another ding. The expression seemed to twist further. Your interest peaked. 

“Something wrong?” You look at him, glancing down to his phone then back to him. 

Jungkook locks his phone and sets it down on the couch beside him. “No, I think a wrong number is texting me.” His tone is casual, but there’s a flicker of something in his expression.  

You nod, turning back toward the TV, scrolling lazily through the endless options. “Okay… are you opposed to any genres?”

“Nope.” He smirks, stretching an arm across the back of the couch. “Do your worst.”

You hum thoughtfully, but you’re already scheming. The goal isn’t to pick a good movie—it’s to pick the worst one possible. Something Jungkook would definitely find boring. But just as you’re debating between a painfully slow documentary or an overly dramatic romance, his phone vibrates again.

And again.

You don’t glance over, but you hear it—persistent, insistent.

Jungkook sighs quietly and checks his screen. More texts.

Taylor: Hey remember me? ;)

Taylor: Busy 2 night?

Taylor: Wanna get a drink??

Taylor: Hello?

He hadn’t hooked up with any Taylors recently. At least, not that he could remember. He locks his phone again, deciding it’s best to ignore it. Hoseok had drilled it into his head not to be on his phone when hanging out with someone—it was rude, and Jungkook actually wanted to be present.

But the buzzing doesn’t stop.

Meanwhile, you keep scrolling, eyes fixed on the screen, but you’ve already started keeping count. How many texts? How many times is he checking? The more his phone vibrates, the more you start tallying numbers in your head.

“Oh! Miss congeniality!” You cheer, a pick that actually really was a favorite of yours. Not a total favorite of any guys you had watched it though. 

Jungkook raises an eyebrow, glancing at the banner image. “What is it?”

You tuck your legs under yourself, shifting to look at him. “Sandra Bullock is an FBI agent who goes undercover at the Miss United States Pageant to stop a terrorist attack. She gets a really awesome makeover halfway through.”

Jungkook tilts his head. “Alright. I’ll bite.”

“If you hate it, we can change it.”

“No, I always commit once I start a movie.” He didn’t seem to be bullshitting you here.

“Perfect.” You don’t hesitate to hit play.

The movie starts to play and Jungkook seems to actually be true to his word, the two of you sat close but he didn’t try to make a move or anything. He had these big brown doe eyes watching and would smile or laugh a little too himself. 

But something still gnaws at you.

His phone sits in his lap, and every time it vibrates, you hear it.

And it’s vibrating a lot.

Jungkook ignores it for as long as he can, but eventually, he caves. One quick glance at the screen, and his stomach drops.

Over thirty new texts.

From Taylor.

Taylor: I CANT BELIEVE YOU

Taylor: YOU DON’T REMEMBER WHO I AM

TAYLOR: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

The texts continued like that. Not to mention he was also getting texts from another girl who he seemingly had no recollection of, Jemma.

Jemma: You aren’t going to tell Taylor that we hooked up right?

Jemma: Jungkook she can’t know she like… super likes you 

Jemma: Like for serious likes you 

Jemma: Jungkookie?

Jungkook stares at the screen, brain scrambling to place the names. Who the hell are these people? His memory isn’t that bad—if he had hooked up with someone recently, he’d remember. Right? Jungkook sighs and quickly types a response, hoping to shut this down before it gets any worse. Whatever was going on was certainly getting noticeable.

Which you had indeed noticed. You kept tally, and you were trying to find a window when you could use this. When could this play to your advantage tonight? 

Jungkook begins to type furiously trying to find something to say that will end this for the night or until he can figure out what is going on another time.

Which is when you take your moment to jump, “Who are you talking too?” You ask casually, looking over at his phone. You had already seen the girl's names on his phone already.

Jungkook immediately pulls his phone closer to his chest. “It’s no one.” 

Which was not a lie because Jungkook was trying to figure out who these people were. 

Your eyes flick to his phone, knowing full well that’s not true. “You seem to be getting a lot of texts.” You remark, folding your arms. “Seems like someone really needs your attention.”

Jungkook notices but figures he can diffuse the situation once he figures out what's going on. He doesn’t respond but continues wracking his brain for a moment as he looks at the texts trying to place these names. 

You take the silence as a good opener, having to psych yourself up a bit. “Who is she?” 

Jungkook blinks, finally looking up at you. Your eyes are locked onto him, sharp and expectant. “Huh?” 

“The girl you are clearly talking to, who is she?” You pressed, your voice was now more accusing and you were waiting to see what kind of answer he was going to give. 

“I’m not–” Almost like on cue Jungkook’s phone begins to ring in his hand. The big bold name Taylor is fully visible on his screen for the both of you. “Oh my god this can’t be happening. I swear I genuinely don’t know who this is.” 

“You expect me to believe that? Your phone has been going off all night.” You huff and look away from him and keep your eyes locked on the movie. Having to bite the inside of your cheek so as to not laugh at how ridiculous you sound right now. 

Jungkook looks lost. Completely lost. He declines another incoming call, his frustration growing. But the silence only fuels your ‘annoyance.’ He was confused how you immediately Jumped from A to Z so quickly. Jungkook grits his teeth and scrolls through the messages again. He scans every name, every interaction—until finally, it clicks.

Only to come to the realization…

“Oh those fuckers.” Jungkook says under his breath. “I will be right back.” 

Your eyes widened because was he really going to leave while you were upset right now? Fake upset but still. “You’re actually going to take that call?” 

“It’s not what it looks like, just let me take care of this. Then I will clear this all up.”

“Not what it looks like? It looks like you’re going to take another phone call with another girl during the movie? Are you serious?” You wave your arms around a little dramatically but it sells it.

Jungkook is unsure of how to navigate this. “I just need to resolve this so that we are no longer interrupted. I swear it’s not what it looks like.” 

Jungkook gets another call from the “mysterious” Taylor. Jungkook answering it and stepping out the front door of his place to take the call, “You guys are really fucked up you know that?” 

There’s a dramatic throat clearing on the other end, followed by an overly high-pitched voice. “What do you mean, Jungkookie? I’m Taylor.” 

Jungkook closes his eyes, exhaling sharply. “Had your fun? Played your games?” 

There’s muffled laughter, and then Jimin’s voice replaces Taehyung’s. “We were just screwing with you, man. We were pissed you bailed on us. By the way, how’s your date going?”

Jungkook pinches the bridge of his nose. “Thanks to you two idiots, she thinks I’m screwing around. So not great.”

“Oh no.” Taehyung deadpans. “So sad. Taehyung's voice mocked Jungkook but Jungkook was actually mad. 

You were already hesitant to date him in the first place and this looked really bad. Your reaction may have been a little strong… and confusing since you were pretty rational. It did look bad though and Jungkook couldn’t deny that.

“Fuck you guys.” He mutters. “We were actually having a nice time.”

“You never said we couldn’t interfere.”

Jungkook ran a hand over his face. “Because that’s fucking insane? I didn’t think I had to say it.”

“Fine, you’re no fun. We won’t interfere from here on out.” Jimin swears” Jimin’s voice was mockingly sincere but Taehyung wasn’t going to make the same promise.

“Goodnight.” Jungkook was too annoyed to deal with them anymore. 

“I hope she dumps you-” Taehyung calls into the phone as Jungkook didn’t even dignify that with a response; just hung up and shoved his phone into his pocket. He let out a slow breath before heading back inside.

The apartment felt heavier than before, quieter, except for the hum of the movie still playing in the background. You were still on the couch, but your posture had changed. You weren’t curled up comfortably anymore; instead, you sat stiffly, chewing on popcorn in the kind of silence that was loud. You wish you could see yourself, it was a very convincing performance after all.

Jungkook hesitated before stepping closer. “I’m sorry about that.”

You didn’t even look at him. “Yeah, okay.”

He winced. “You’re mad.”

“Well, duh, Jungkook.” You exhaled sharply, shaking your head as you stared at the screen. “You were texting and talking through the movie when we were supposed to be hanging out. If you’d rather be somewhere else, you could’ve just said so.”

Jungkook sat down beside you, carefully, like you might bolt at any second. “I don’t want to be anywhere else.” His voice was quieter now, sincere. “I’ve really liked getting to know you. I actually wanted to watch this with you, but my idiot friends decided to mess with me.”

You shot him a skeptical glance. “Friends. Right.”

“I swear.” Jungkook ran a hand through his hair, exasperated. “They were pissed I bailed on them tonight, so they changed their names on my phone, spammed me, and set me up.”

You hesitated, but Jungkook was already unlocking his phone. He scrolled up in his messages, showing you the texts. “See? Just last week, their real names were still here. This whole thing was just them being assholes.”

You narrowed your eyes at the screen, scanning the evidence. A pause. Then, finally—“Wow. Your friends kinda suck.”

Jungkook let out a relieved laugh. “Just a little.” He shook his head. “They thought it would be funny. And, okay, maybe it was—”

“It wasn’t.” You deadpanned.

He smirked. “Yeah well, not for me.”

You sighed, your shoulders relaxing just a little. “I guess I… overreacted. I just have a thing about people being on their phones during movies.” You scratched the side of your head, looking slightly sheepish.

Jungkook grinned, happy to take the win. “No more phone.” He picked it up and placed it far away on the couch. “Easy.”

It was a nice gesture but completely unnecessary. “You’re cute but it’s alright.” 

“Nah. No more phone. I’ll never look at it again.” He teases as he scoots close to you, “You’re much more interesting to look at anyways.” 

“Wow, that was really cheesy.” You teased, shaking your head.

Jungkook just grinned.

Despite the earlier hiccup, the night had settled into something easy and comfortable. You rewound the movie to the parts he missed, both of you sinking back into the cushions as if nothing had happened. There was no tension, no lingering frustration—just soft laughter, playful commentary, and the occasional reach into the snack pile.

“Okay, but like, I would let Sandra Bullock beat me up too.” Jungkook commented, nodding in approval at the screen.

You turned to him, raising a suspicious brow. “Masochist?”

“I’ll never tell.” His smirk was effortless, teasing, but what you hadn’t quite realized was how close the two of you had shifted throughout the night. Your legs had found their way over his lap at some point, and his arm was draped lazily around your shoulders, his bicep doubling as a makeshift pillow. His other hand rested absentmindedly over your calf, tracing absent-minded patterns against the fabric of your sweatpants.

Jungkook couldn’t remember the last time he had just sat with someone like this—no expectations, no rush, just the quiet hum of companionship. It was… nice.

You, on the other hand, were still determined to find another opening to be difficult, but as the night wore on, you were reluctantly realizing that you might have to try again another time.

Jungkook had kept his word, his phone untouched for the rest of the evening. Not that he was missing much. Whatever was happening in the group chat could wait—he was too busy being here. With you.

“You’re all techy and whatever.” You mused, tilting your head up at him. “Would you ever be an FBI agent?”

Jungkook scoffed, shaking his head. “Not a chance. I don’t think I’m smart enough to foil a terrorist plot… or go undercover without blowing my own cover.” He absentmindedly played with his lip ring, his voice dipping into something thoughtful. “What about you?”

You exhaled a small laugh. “Yeah, no. I’m a writer, not an agent, that’s for sure.” You paused, considering it for a moment before adding, “Although, I think I could do undercover.”

Jungkook glanced at you, intrigued. “Oh yeah? You could be a Gracie Lou Freebush?” He referenced Sandra Bullock’s alias in the movie.

“Oh, absolutely.” You said with zero hesitation. “Plus, I’ve interviewed and hung out with a lot of pageant girls in the past for my writing.”

His brows lifted in genuine interest. “Wait, what? How come?”

“I did a piece in college about pageantry and got to know a lot of girls who did it professionally. They were really sweet, honestly.”

“That’s so cool.” His voice was laced with admiration. “What else have you written?”

You hesitated, suddenly shy. “Oh god, I’ve written about a lot of things, but nothing worth the time.”

“That can’t be true.” Jungkook’s voice softened, his curiosity undeniably genuine. “I’d love to read something… I mean, if you’ll let me.”

You blinked at him, caught off guard. His big, expectant eyes searched yours, but there was no teasing, no ulterior motive—just pure interest.

A warm flush crept onto your cheeks. “Okay.” You murmured, cursing the lovesick way your voice wavered. “Maybe I can find something that’s not totally terrible.”

Jungkook grinned like you’d just given him a prize.

Neither of you had been paying much attention to the screen, and at some point, the movie had ended.

“Alright, your turn.” You pat Jungkook’s arm, the one still draped around you, before shifting your legs from his lap, giving him space in case he needs to move.

Jungkook leans over to the coffee table and retrieves the remote from the coffee table. Shuffling through the choices. He thought for a moment what he should select. If he should stay on the romance vein or go down another path. 

Eventually landing on, definitely a left turn movie for the night. 

“Okay, I know this totally changes the tone, but I love this movie.” He clicks on Across the Spider-Verse. “The animation is insane, and I really love Spider-Man.”

You laugh. “You don’t have to sell it to me. I’ve seen it before.”

“Good.” His excitement is almost tangible. “I’ve been wanting to rewatch it.”

Without a second thought, Jungkook casually lifts your legs back over his lap, a move that catches you off guard.

“I was cold.” He feigns innocence.

“Uh-huh, I super believe you.” You giggle, settling back against his arm just as the movie begins.

You couldn’t have gotten a minute in before you felt your phone vibrate like you were getting a call. It was in your pocket and you intended to silence it but you wouldn’t be so lucky to ignore it. Your mom’s ID popping up on the screen. You pretty quickly decline it, hoping, no praying it wouldn’t be pushed further than that. That was until the text that it was immediately followed up with. 

Mom: Baby I’m coming over. You keep ignoring me. 

Mom: I have so much to tell you about!!!!!!

Oh no. Oh no no no. 

She was going to your place. You aren’t at your place. 

Panic spreads like ice through your veins. You sat up in your place away from Jungkook, hiding the sick feeling that spread across your face. You had to call her. If you didn’t call her back she would go to your place and ask so many questions. She didn’t have a key but she would still manage to get in.  Right after you just made that whole stink about Jungkook being on the phone earlier. 

You couldn’t ignore her. You have to call her back. 

She won’t let it go. 

Jungkook was worried for a second when you moved away from him so suddenly and now you were suddenly standing. 

“I’m so sorry.” Your voice is tense. “I need to take a call.” You hesitate before meeting his gaze. “It’ll just be a second—I need to step into the hall.”

Jungkook for a second almost doesn’t think about it but you just made a whole fuss about him taking a call. “Are you serious?” 

“I know.” You say quickly. “I know what I said.”

“Is this a joke?”

“No.” Your phone vibrates again. Another text.

Mom: I’ll be there in 30 minutes.

Shit.

“I’m sorry.” You say again, already moving. You weave around the couch, heading straight for the front door before Jungkook can protest.

You shove your feet into your shoes and step into the hall, needing somewhere private; somewhere your mom won’t hear even the faintest trace of Jungkook in the background.

The elevator.

You dial her number and you press the button for the elevator to go to the first floor. The phone on the other end ringing for what felt like forever in your ear. Feeling more and more sick to your stomach with each ring. Dreading hearing her voice on the other side.

The line picked up as you reached the first floor. “Baby!” Your mom’s voice bursts through the speaker, cheerful and chipper like she hadn’t just threatened to ambush you. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all day.”

You squeeze your eyes shut. “Yeah, I know. Mom, why are you going to my place right now?” A headache forming in the back of your mind. 

She sighs dramatically. “I miss you, baby. I’ve been gone for three months!”

“Yes Mom-...”

“And yet, you don’t even want to talk to your own mother?” Her voice shifts, just enough to press guilt into your ribs. Her saddened voice on the other end, hitting you in the same familiar place in your gut.

You exhale slowly, biting down the automatic frustration. If you say the wrong thing, she’ll cry. If she cries, you’ll have to go see her. “Of course I want to talk to you.” You say carefully. “I’d love to talk. But I’m busy.”

“Busy with what? Where are you?” Her interest clearly piqued that you could possibly have plans that had nothing to do with her.

“I’m out with some friends. Nothing special.” There is zero chance you’re mentioning Jungkook.

“Oh no, no, no. How many times have I told you those friends of yours are no good?” Her voice is all silk. “Come meet me somewhere instead.”

“How about I come see you later this week mom. I am busy with a work project but I’m all yours later this week…” You grit your teeth. You hope this might be enough and she hums on the other end. 

“All weekend?” She counters. “I get to have you all weekend? I just miss you, baby. And I have so many clothes from Europe that don’t fit me right—you’ll love them.” Typical. Dumping overpriced, ill-fitting designer pieces onto you so she doesn’t have to feel wasteful. 

“Yes. We can go through them together.” You nod to the air around you almost like she was here or that she could see you. Like the look on your face right now wouldn’t send her into an immediate spiral. 

“Oh, perfect! I’m so excited.” She cheers on the other end and it in some sick way brings a smile to your face. 

“Okay I really do have to go.” 

“Alright, baby. Call me tomorrow!” She sounds almost… normal. But you know better. If you don’t call tomorrow, she won’t let it go.

The moment the call disconnects, you sag against the elevator wall, pressing your palms to your face. Needing something to bring the anxiety that had welled up in your chest back down to a normal level. Your fingers tremble slightly, the weight of the conversation settling in like lead in your stomach.

This was such a bad time for your mom to be back in town. If she got even a whiff of your promotion, she’d find a way to turn it into something about her. And if she caught onto whatever this… thing was between you and Jungkook, she’d find a way to ruin it.

Maybe you should just sic her on Jungkook. That would send him running for sure.

In hindsight, if this were any other date, it would probably look bad. You had disappeared in the middle of the night, left without much of an explanation, and now, you were returning like nothing had happened. It felt messy, inconsiderate even. But everything with your mom is an emergency.

The problem is, you can’t say that.

With that thought, you start the slow walk of shame back to his apartment. The door is still unlocked from when you left, and as you step inside, the difference is immediate. The air feels stiff. The movie was stopped. The room is too quiet.  You slowly stepped further inside, Jungkook was leaning against his counter looking at something on his phone.

You hesitated, stepping inside and slipping off your shoes. "Sorry about that." You said quietly.

Jungkook doesn’t look up right away. "It’s… fine."

It isn’t.

Not really.

It’s obvious in the clipped way he says it, in the tension sitting in his shoulders. He’s irritated, trying not to show it, but you can feel it lingering between you.

And honestly? You get it.

You were the one who had made a big deal about him being on his phone earlier. You were the one who rolled your eyes at him answering a call, told him to be present. Then, the moment your own phone rang, you left the apartment with little word.

So yeah, you get it.

"It was just an emergency." You offer, though even you can hear how weak of an excuse it sounds.

Jungkook finally glances up then, dark eyes flicking to yours. "Right. Just a little frustrating though, don’t you think?"

Your stomach twists. "I know."

He exhales sharply, shaking his head as he sets his phone down on the counter. "I mean, you gave me so much shit about being on mine. Accused me of something you didn’t have any information about. Then you not only take your call—you leave the floor for it."

"I get it." You say quickly. "I do. And you’re right. It was hypocritical of me."

Jungkook studies you for a moment, expression unreadable. His voice is quieter when he speaks again. "Was there a reason you had to take your call downstairs?"

“What?” 

“Well I stepped into the hall to make sure everything was okay but you had totally fled the floor. What’s up?” Jungkook coming off even more defensive now

You freeze for a fraction of a second, caught off guard.

"I—" You start, before quickly regaining composure. "It was private."

Jungkook’s brows lift slightly. "And mine wasn’t?"

You inhale, feeling an edge of frustration creep in now, not necessarily at him, but at this entire situation. At how suddenly complicated something as simple as a movie night had become. How your mom had complicated a simple movie night. Something for your job.

Then you remember. This was for your job. The thing that got you into this situation, for one reason only…

So you switched gears "You were being really suspicious and weird about who you were talking to. Plus who even calls people anymore.” You say, keeping your voice measured.

Jungkook lets out an incredulous laugh. “You literally just took a call.”

“Yeah, but mine was an emergency,” You stress, as if that explains anything.

He narrows his eyes. “Oh, so when I answer my phone, I’m talking to some girl, but when you answer yours, it’s a crisis hotline?”

You shrug. “Correct.”

Jungkook pauses having to think about what was even going on before bouncing back, “Yours seemed much more like a call from another guy than mine seemed like a call from another girl.” Jungkook was frustrated but he was falling back on an old habit. He was falling into that old routine of finding an excuse to run. Except he couldn’t in this situation, so he needed to switch gears just like you. 

You let out a slow breath. Acting a little too casual for the situation at hand. "Maybe we call it a night, doesn’t seem like we will see eye to eye on this.” 

Jungkook doesn’t say anything for a moment, but eventually, he nods, stepping away from the counter. "Yeah." He mutters. "Probably for the best."

You don’t miss the way his voice shifts, slightly more closed off than before, and something about it stings more than you expect it to.

But you don’t say anything else.

Instead, you slip your other shoes back on, grab your things and leave. It wasn’t okay for him to just automatically assume that you were talking to another guy. Then again that's exactly how you started. It didn’t matter though, having this night go wrong actually helps. It helps push Jungkook away and maybe after tonight he might ghost you who knows. 

It would certainly make your article short but you could make a good narrative, losing a guy in 6 days. 

Still a small pang of guilt was eating at your stomach. Usually you would fight to explain yourself but you were doing your best to fight those normal instincts. This was the assignment, even if a part of you was actually starting to like Jungkook a little bit. He put in a lot of effort for just a few dates which was completely unexpected. 

Maybe in another life where you didn’t have to act insane.

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[gremlin-girly]

Grass

Part of the Green collection

Curtis Everett x f!Roommate! Reader

Banner by me, made in Canva w/ Curtis' pic sourced on Pinterest. Dividers by @/kodaswrld and MDNI/Reblog Banners by @/saradika-graphics

WARNING: This fic not only contains smut but also consumption/use of marujuana. If that's not your bread and butter (or if you are a minor) please do not read.

Additional tags/warnings: roommates to lovers (back with this again ik), blowback, use of a bong, inexperienced reader (with the bong lmao), making out, p-in-v (wrap it), creampie, inebriated fucking/fucking while high, sex while standing, standing carry, fucking in the kitchen, mutual masterbation, post-sex cuddles, petnames (sweetheart, bunny)

Not beta'd and I do not give permission for my work to be reposted, copied, translated or put through an AI machine.

Summary: Your roomie convinces you to take a hit, leading to some fun in the kitchen.

Word count: ~3k (on mobile sorry)

A/N: sorry it took so long! I had ideas for two other fics while doing this one but there's going to (hopefully) be a double whammy of the Green Collection this weekend 👀

Green Collection | Curtis Everett Masterlist | Navigation

Coming home from a long day at work was nothing short of bliss, especially knowing your roommate was home. Curtis was a perfect roommate, an all-round great guy too, which was why you enjoyed spending time with him when you could.

Curtis worked odd hours, which meant that on your days off he could either be sleeping or at work, however, you both had a system that benefitted you both; he cleaned, you cooked and prepped lunches, both of you would take turns to do laundry. This meant that you didn't have to worry about anything pile up of dishes and Curtis didn't have to eat noodles five days a week and take out on weekends.

The times that your days off synched up, you'd usually do something together. Be it shopping, or a movie, it didn't matter. The only thing you could possibly think of that would make Curtis a bad roommate was the fact he smoked grass on his days off.

He was kind enough to light a candle or to smoke in his room if you were home, and despite the smoky smell, you didn't mind. He had a high-stress job so it was nice to see him relax at least once a week. You couldn't blame him for wanting to take the edge off.

On your way home this particular day, one of your best friends called you up, asking for you to join them for cocktails at a bar across town.

"Can't," you say, fishing in your bag for your keys. "Curtis is off and we've already agreed to watch a movie."

You can hear the groan on the other end of the line.

"You mean your boyfriend?" Your best friend sneers.

"He's not my-" You begin defensively before backing down. "We made plans last week. I can't just ditch him."

"If he's not your boyfriend, you can."

You want to snap at her that you can't; you made a commitment to Curtis first... but part of you knows she's got a point. Even it is a miniscule point. Curtis was a great roomie. Reliable. Fun to be around.... hot.

You shake your head as you pull your keys out. "I can't."

"Alright," she chuckles. "Have fun with your hot roommate. And tell me if anything juicy finally happens."

You frown at your phone as the line goes dead, cheeks warming as you open the door to the apartment. Curtis is leaning against the kitchen counter, grinder in hand, bong already set up beside him.

"Hey," He greets with a short nod.

"Hey." You reply, feeling your chest tighten. He's in his cosy clothes but, sweet mother almighty, he looks delectable. Baggy, dark wash wash jeans that hang low on his hips, tight white t-shirt with a light oversized grey patterned hoodie with a deep v-neck over it and, of course, his signature black beanie. You wished he didn't look so hot; it would give your best friend less ammunition saying he was the reason for your lack of a boyfriend.

"Leftovers were good." Curtis says watching you unload your bag and place your dirty tupperware in the sink. "Thanks."

You can hear the grinding of metal on metal as Curtis twists his grinder.

"It's no problem." You grin, turning on the sink tap and unloading an ungodly amount of dish soap into the bowl. "You need to stop thanking me for it though, Curt. I've been doing it for months."

"Yeah, I know." He grins back at you and you have to steady yourself against the sink so your legs don't give out. "But I want you to know I'm always grateful for it."

Stomach full of butterflies you turn back to the sink, dipping your hands into the hot suds and wishing whatever God was listening to throw you a boon. The flick of a lighter and the bubbling of the bong snap you from your explicit thoughts and you're lucky enough to catch Curtis blowing smoke rings before the smoke disperses.

Fuck me.

You don't know if it's a curse or a wish at this point. Curtis catches your gaze and offers you the bong, large hand over the mouth of it trapping white smoke in the chamber. You shake your head and hold up a soapy hand.

"No thanks."

"Just one drag. Try it." He wiggles the bong at you with a sweet, begging expression. "Please?"

Pursing your lips you consider your options. You'd never done it before, so the opportunity to try it in a safe environment with a 'professional' was a good start. On the other hand, you didn't know how weed would affect you. Would you be a drooling mess? Would you not remember a thing? Would you, as your best friend had described, be so fried out of you mind you would just lie on the sofa and have a minor existential crisis?

You can't lie and say you hadn't been tempted before now but Curtis made it look so easy. The thought of embarrassing yourself in front of him nagged at your brain but the want of the experience under your belt won out. You'd be safe with Curtis. Existential crisis and drooling be dammed.

"Fuck it. Fine." You sigh, taking the bong from him and holding it awkwardly; scared to drop it and unsure how to hold it correctly.

"Hold the top and the base." Curtis instructs with a smirk, watching you frown worriedly as you changed your grip. There's something phallic in the entire procedure that makes your cheeks heat and you feel entirely stupid for thinking it.

"Put your lips on it." Curtis' voice sounds low and breathy, and you have to bite the inside of your cheek to steel your thoughts.

You move to do as he instructed but you're obscured by a stray piece of hair that won't move out of your way no matter how much you shake your head. Curtis chuckles and you can feel warm fingers brush along your forehead, removing the stubborn piece of hair, and tucking it behind your ear. His eyes meet yours as you peek up through your lashes, bottom lip pouting against the lip of the bong. The kitchen suddenly feels a lot hotter and you don't know if Curtis can feel it too.

"Try again." He says quietly, trailing his fingers through your hair as he pulls his hand away. You hadn't even noticed his fingers lingering against your skin but now that they were gone, you wanted them back.

Placing your lips into the mouth of the bong, holding it tight, you meet Curtis' eyes expectantly. Curtis' lighter flickers to life as he burns the ground weed on the other side and after a few seconds, instructs you to suck in as much air as you can.

You try, you really do, watching the smoke twist in the chamber and burn your lungs as you take the deepest breath you've possibly ever taken.

But it still ends with you coughing and sputtering.

"You need to take it into your lungs." He says, patting your back softly. "You don't have to do it quickly. Just like taking deep breaths."

You nod your head as he flicks his lighter again, waiting for your signal (another nod) to light it again.

"Now, inhale."

You breathe in and the bong bubbles angrily, putrid smoke invades your lungs and makes your mouth drier than a desert. Your lips break away from the bong and you cough hard, your lungs screaming at you as you try to breathe. You try to suck in as much air as possible, feeling lightheaded as you continue in your coughing fit, letting Curtis remove the bong from your grasp. Once your breathing is finally steady, Curtis is already blowing another smoke ring smirking over at you.

"You did alright for your first time." He chuckles.

"Show off." You whisper hoarsely, giving him a watery eyed glare.

Curtis clicks his tongue dismissively and lifts your chin gently with one hand, thumbing tears from your cheeks. His thumb lingers a moment, brushing the softness of your skin before he moves his hand away to light the bong for another hit.

"You'll get better with time." He says nonchalantly, sucking in smoke. You're still trying to wrap your head around what just happened. Maybe there was a God offering you a boon.

"I don't wanna do that again," you grumble, your voice still raspy. Curtis exhales slowly, no smoke ring this time but he looks over at you curiously, as if contemplating asking you something.

"What?"

"I could always give you secondhand smoke?" Curtis suggests, inhaling the smoke again. When he breathes out, he pushes the smoke towards you, but you srunch your face at the smell. Curtis laughs at your cute expression.

"You've got to suck in the smoke."

"But it smells gross." You whine. "Is there another way we could try?"

"Actually..." Curtis' eyebrows raise as an idea forms and he beckons you closer. You shuffle forward, an inch or so between you.

Curtis lights up the bong again, and holds the smoke but before releasing it, he takes your chin in his hands delicately and kisses you. You gasp in surprise and Curtis takes the opportunity to blow the smoke into your mouth; you cough and sputter less this time but your lips tingle from the kiss. Curtis watches you closely, waiting for your reaction.

Your mind draws a blank; fuzziness setting in and you don't know if it's him or the contact high but your smiling up at him regardless.

"Could we keep doing that?"

Curtis breaks into a radiant grin. "Yeah. Of course."

The kisses start gentle and tender; sweet pecks that make your body feel tingly and light. It works well; after every kiss you inhale the smoke he blows into your mouth, slowly getting used to the feeling of his lips against yours and having him so close.

Then one kiss lingers for longer than a moment.

You're both a little breathless, only millimetres apart when you break for air, and it takes one millisecond more for your eyes to meet before the floodgates open. Curtis' lips crash into yours, and you welcome them, his arms wrapping around you in a crushing embrace. Your hands rip his beanie from his head and toss it somewhere on the floor, raking your hands through the short, soft buzzcut. Curtis rumbles a chuckle but doesn't stop kissing you.

There's a harsh clink as Curtis sets down his bong and his hands begin to freely wander up and down your sides. Mimicking his actions, you allow your hands to feel along his chest and collarbone. It's harder than you expect; thinking there'd be a slight softness under all his jumpers, not that you care either way. Your hands slip under the layers of his jumper; mapping out every defined muscle your fingers trailed moments before. Muscles twitch under your touch and Curtis sucks in a sharp breath, hands squeezing at your hips.

"This okay?" You ask quietly, gently running your palms downwards against his hot skin, stopping above his belt. Your gaze flickers to his, waiting for confirmation to continue. Which it does - in the form of a low groan as he cranes his neck to kiss you quickly.

"It's more than okay."

Your head's already starting to feel heavy but you can't tell if it's because your being kissed senseless or if the smoke has finally hit you. A large hand knots in your hair, the other making quick work of unbuttoning your jeans, a thick finger dipping under the fabric of your panties to rub tight circles against your clit. You gasp in surprise, your own hands fumbling with his belt as you try to concentrate, but that's all that Curtis needs to push his tongue further into your mouth, deepening the kiss. Curtis' tongue is hot and tastes like the smoke that made you gag not five minutes ago but you don't care; taking a hit of him is better than any bong.

"Already wet for me, huh?" He murmurs against your lips, index finger swirling your clit with your own slick. A moan hitches in your throat making him chuckle, peppering more kisses along your cheek. You can feel your pussy squeeze around nothing, a familiar sensation building between your legs.

His kisses are sloppy but no less passionate. Curtis chases your mouth with his at every pathetic whimper you make in an attempt to keep yourself quiet. You, on the other hand, are a breathless mess as you manage to undo his belt and jeans. Palming over his cock teasingly gets you a firm press against your clit that makes your thighs squeeze around his fingers.

"Don't tease, bunny." Curtis murmurs, nipping along your jawline, making you shiver. "That's not fair."

"Eager?" You tease softly but Curtis pulls back slightly, looking down at you. His pressure and swirling against your clit pause and you grind your hips slowly for some relief.

"Maybe. Is... Is that a problem?"

"You know damn well it's not." You huff impatiently.

Curtis' nostrils flare and he curses, tugging his hand from your jeans and removing his jumper and white tee in one movement, discarding them to the floor before moving to shove his jeans down. You quickly follow suit, adding your shirt to the pile as you wiggle out of your jeans. You don't have time to react when Curtis' mouth finds yours again, more feverent and desperate than before. His fingers tug your panties down your legs and you shyly step out of them, allowing his fingers to slip between your folds and caress your now-aching clit.

You inhale sharply when his thumb grazes your clit, two thick fingers teasing and your cunt's entrance. Curtis' other hand grips the back of your neck, holding you steady when your legs start to tremble and you mewl his name so breathlessly.

Your hands tug his boxers freeing his cock; eager to touch him - finally - and eager to please him. One hand pumps in rhythm to his stroking fingers, the other gently cupping at his heavy balls while your own thighs clench like a vice around Curtis' fingers; struggling to stay standing at the attention he's giving your clit.

"Look at me," He says firmly, voice strained, blue eyes locking with yours. "Look at me when you cum."

"Fuck fuck fuck." Each curse becomes higher in pitch before you let out an airy sigh as your first orgasm ripples through your body. Your eyelids are heavy but you keep your eyes fixed on Curtis' face, a smirk of satisfaction on his swollen lips. His thumb swipes your clit slowly as your body comes back from the orgasm-high. You feel extra elated. Your body feels like every nerve is alert but your muscles are entirely relaxed.

There's a kiss to your forehead that leaves tingling ripples across your skin. Then another to your cheek. Then to your neck...

Your skin prickles to gooseflesh, breath hitching again, dragging your thumb over the tip of Curtis' cock to coat it in his own precum. Curtis' moan is so close to your ear and it's lewd. You'd never have guessed he'd be loud during sex. Curling your head into his neck, you nip along the prominent vein, illiciting more and more filthy noises from Curtis until he slips two fingers into your dripping pussy.

"Oh shit," you whine as your walls clench around his fingers. The stretch isn't painful by any means, but the fullness as his fingers move and curl is euphoric. But any further moans are smothered by his mouth on yours, his fingers spreading you open easily to explore your pussy.

"Curtis," You pant when you're finally granted a gasp for air, trying to focus on pumping his cock and holding off your orgasm. "Bedroom?"

"No." Curtis growls. "'M too impatient. Here will do."

Before you can ask him what he means, he squats down and wraps his muscular arms under your knees. He peeks up at you, placing a gentle kiss to your stomach that makes you shiver and your heart thud violently.

"Hold on to me, sweetheart."

That's the only warning you get before your feet leave the ground. With a yelp, you fling your arms around his neck, holding on until Curtis is back at full height and supporting you in his arms like it's no big deal. You can feel another rush of arousal as you watch the veins in his arms twitch under the strain and the brush of his leaking cock against the backs of your thighs.

Your knees are bent, legs dangling over Curtis' thick arms helplessly, with his large hands groping your ass as he repositions you over his cock. You've never been fucked like this before and you know damn well that gravity is about to work wonders with skewering you onto Curtis' cock and let out a shaky sigh of contentment.

"You ready bunny?" Curtis asks, the fat head of his cock pushing against your dripping cunt ever so slightly. "Because once I start fucking you, I'm not stopping."

"Yes," you nod, biting at your lips to contain a whorish moan. "Fuck, Curtis, please."

Curtis lowers you onto his cock slowly, watching your lips part is ecstacy as his cock slides into your cunt with welcomed ease. Your moans of need are sweet and sultry as he splits you open in the middle of your shared kitchen, toes curling as gravity helps his twitching cock nestle deep inside you.

Once buried to the hilt, Curtis sighs in delight, your walls fluttering around his cock like he'd always imagined. His large hands grope at the flesh of your ass, kneading the muscles as he flashes you a panted grin. You shift in his grip with a shy smile and squeeze his hips with your legs.

"You feel like heaven, bunny." Curtis murmurs, canting his hips upwards into you. Your ass bounces against his thighs, your arms straining as you try to hold onto his neck. Your maneuvered quickly in his grip, your body moving upwards so you can pretzel your arms behind his neck, fingernails clawing at his shoulders, his cock never leaving the warmth of your cunt. Once anchored to him properly, Curtis begins to cant his hips frantically, fucking you into oblivion while you whimper and moan as you cling to him.

"Look at me, sweetheart." Curtis pants and through your fucked-out haze you manage it. There's the satisfied smirk again, his eyes red-rimmed and blown wide but sparkling nonetheless. Your lips are wet and swollen from the kissing, from biting back moans, and Curtis loves to see it. To be the cause of it.

Wet slaps echo against the kitchen walls and your starting to lose control, moaning his name louder, your pussy constricting tighter and tighter, splashing your delicious cum over his legs, balls and cock.

"You look so good getting pounded like this." He muses, watching you hiccup another moan. His eyes trail to your tits, watching them bounce in time to thrusts, loving how you milk his cock so eagerly. He wished you'd smoked sooner or at least wished he'd made a move sooner, had he known that you'd be just as eager for him as he was for you. His eyes flit back to your face. Every part of your face is contorted in pleasure; eyes red, glazed and half-lidded, lips slightly parted and your eyebrows that in-between of surprise-frown as you try to withhold coming again.

"C-Curtis - I - I'm-" you breathing is heavy, you can't even form a thought as he bounces you on his cock and it makes Curtis' balls tighten.

"So am I bunny." He grunts out quickly, fucking your tight pussy harder. More slapping sounds coupled with your half-scream of pleasure echo through the apartment. "You just hold tight okay? Don't think of anything else but this cock."

You hum and nod - barely - you're already too lost to pleasure to even care. Curtis curses when your nails dig into his shoulders. He can feel your cunt convulse desperately as your orgasm begins to rip through you and you shout his name almost in a panic.

"I got you," He coos, his thrusts slowing only slightly as he tries in vain to postpone his release for a few moments longer. Soaking his cock again sends him over the edge and he cums hard when you softly whisper his name repeatedly as you go limp in his grip. His cum is warm and sticky as it slowly drips from your pussy but you're too busy drowning in post-orgasmic bliss to care.

Your head rests against Curtis' shoulder as you catch your breath, the kitchen now quiet apart from your breathing. Your legs wobble when Curtis sets you down gently, wrapping those strong arms around your waist once more, fending off the chill of the kitchen for a few moments longer and placing tender kisses to your neck and shoulders. The silence is comfortable and you push away thoughts that could potentially ruin your night; what did this mean for you both? Was it a one time thing? Did you want it to be a one time thing?

"You were..." Curtis begins but trails as his head buries itself into your neck. "Fuck, that was amazing."

"Speak for yourself." You breathe out, arms still wrapped around his neck as you lean into him, desperate to stay as close as possible before reality kicked in.

You liked Curtis. You knew Curtis. And clearly, your little crush wasn't one-sided otherwise you wouldn't be standing in the kitchen naked right now. However, from the depths of your mind, slow worries began to rear their ugly heads; telling you a relationship with Curtis could still blow up in your face, especially since you already lived together. That seemed like speed-running the dating process just a tad.

Curtis' snort startles you from your thoughts and you glare up at him.

"You're thinking too loud, bunny." He smirks and then, as if it were second nature, lifts his head to capture your lips in a quick peck.

You'd only just regained your breath and it had been stolen all over again. You lean into him more, letting the kiss linger like the one that had kick-start this whole thing. His lips are warm now, not searing like they had been, and you're drawn into him, chasing his lips as he retreats his head.

"Sleep in my bed tonight." He murmurs, giving you a squeeze. His eyes twinkle in the light and the faint smirk he still wears makes your pussy throb all over again. "I'd like to wake up next to you at least once before we decide on what to do next."

"If my legs work." You joke half heartedly, your heart fluttering wildly against your ribs. You're not happy at the squeak that escapes you as Curtis lifts you easily again, half over his shoulder as he pads to his room before throwing you onto the bed. You bounce along the mattress with a laugh, wrapping yourself around Curtis when he crawls over you to pepper kisses over your face again. His eyes are still glassy, but there's a sweet look that sends shivers of desire throughout your body.

"I was doing all the heavy lifting," Curtis teases into the crease of your neck. "My legs are all achy."

"Aw, want me to kiss 'em better?" You tease back, squealing when he rolls you on top of him, gasping when you feel his cock twitch between your thighs.

"Nope. I want to watch you do all the work this time, bunny." Curtis grins up at you with a squeeze of your hips.

Despite your brain swirling lazily with questions, your high brain was far more interested in round two.

At least you'd have some very juicy updates for your best friend tomorrow after all.

End

Taglist

Tag yourself here

@stargazingfangirl18 | @bridgetina | @irishhappiness | @looking1016 | @awkwardgiraffe726

[krenenbaker]

Trick or Treat~!

Pairing: Che'nya x Floyd (could be read platonically or romantically)

Summary: It's finally Halloween night, but Floyd is in a bit of a slump. However, the arrival of a curious companion may just make the Halloween party a bit more interesting for him.

Notes: This is my first attempt at something following a prompt - specifically, "Trick or Treat" for the 2023 TWST Rarepair Halloween event. I'm trying to get more comfortable/practiced with writing prose (which is why this wasn't posted on the 30th... oops), and only vaguely ended up following the prompt. I'm fairly happy with how this little piece turned out, though!

Tags: @dove-da-birb, @azulashengrottospiano, @inkybloom-luv, @eynnwwyjth, @officialdaydreamer00 (please let me know if you'd like to be included or excluded from future writing of mine, or only want to be included in specific types of creations)

Floyd wanted to take a break. 

It was Halloween, and all he had done the entire week was work, work, work. Getting costumes ready, decorating, helping with their dorm's presentation, plus cooking and serving at the Lounge, all on top of normal classes? 

Sure, it was fun, especially getting to show off Octavinelle's cool setup, and 'taking care of' those misbehaving visitors. But now? Everything felt draining and boring, and Floyd simply wanted to leave, which sucked because the actual Halloween party had just started!  

Maybe he should just ditch and go back to his dorm; being in a funk when everyone else is having fun around you is not enjoyable.  He slumped down on a bench and unwrapped a sweet he had picked up earlier, before wrapping it up again. Ugh, not even in the mood for that candy he wanted only a few minutes ago. 

As he shoved the sweet back into his pocket and was about to get up from the bench to leave, Floyd heard a rustle behind him. Someone was quietly humming, and… laughing? The sound gradually moved to his side, towards the empty side of the bench.  

“Trick or treat~”

Floyd turned to face the voice. "Listen, man, I'm not in the mood to—” he froze, staring at the figure beside him. “Hang on a second, where's your body!?"

A toothy smile came to the face of the head that currently floated beside Floyd. "Oh, it's here.... or maybe it's there." A pair of hands materialized on either side of this boy's head, followed by the rest of his body. 

“I'm just kidding. Mind if I take a seat? I’d like to rest up before I keep purrowling around and startling people.”

Floyd blinked, then raised an eyebrow. “Uh, go for it.” 

This guy was... weird, and it was hard to tell if he'd be annoying, or interesting. "You don't go here, do ya? At least, I’ve never seen you before. And you’re no ghost, either.”

The cat-like boy shook his head, his jewellery jingling softly. "I'm just passing through for the festivities and collecting treats. Scaring some people, too. That’s loads of fun. And it's always nice to see my friends let loose." 

Floyd had a vague memory surface. "Ohh... you must be that RSA boy who's friends with Sea Turtle and Goldfishie." 

"'Sea Turtle' and 'Goldfishie', hey? Those are good names for my green and red friends. Cats are known for liking fish." He leaned forward, his grin growing. “Artemiy Artemiyevich Pinker. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Floyd nodded, “Floyd Leech. It's nice to meet you, too.” He looked curiously at the boy beside him, taking in his shaggy hair, piercings, and impish smile.

"You're not what I expected.” Floyd smiled, "But you seem fun, Catfish. I didn't think Goldfishie would get along with someone so... interesting."

Che'nya's eyes lit up slightly. "Catfish? Heh heh heh, most people call me Che'nya, but I guess that works. And I’ve heard some… interesting stories about you, too."

He stretched his legs out in front of him, leaning back with his arms behind his head as he sighed. "But yeah, I don't think Riddle could shake me if he tried." 

"I'm almost jealous." Floyd tipped his head slightly. "Most of the time, Goldfishie likes to swim away before I can play with him."

Che'nya laughed, "Well, if you're wondering, he 'swam off' that way." He pointed off to the side. “Just don’t be rough with him. I don’t like people mistreating my friends.”

Floyd looked off into the crowd where he had pointed, and let out a small laugh. “Alright, good to know. Maybe I’ll find him later, if I feel like it”, he smiled and sat back. “And Goldfishie’s stronger than he looks, but I guess you’d know that.”

Che’nya nodded, then leaned closer with a mischievous glint in his eye. "You know, I bet we could do something that would really surprise him.” 

Floyd turned slightly towards Che’nya, and flashed a smile. “Yeah, we probably could. I think we should talk more in the future, Catfish. You seem pretty fun.” 

Che’nya grinned, “You seem pretty fun, too.”

"Well,” he stretched his arms above his head. “I think I’m going to go and find some more treats… and play some more tricks tonight. I'll catch you around, Floyd." 

With a haunting giggle echoing in his ears, Floyd watched as the boy beside him faded into nothingness, just the same way he had arrived. 

What a weird guy.

Floyd unwrapped the candy he had pocketed earlier, then popped it into his mouth. Maybe this party was worth staying at after all.

[tieronecrush]

hot & heavy

chapter ten: a hidden gem, my own goldmine

neighbor!joel x f!reader

series masterlist

series rating: E (18+ MDNI)

series summary:

over the course of three summers, joel miller becomes woven into your life. the first summer is spent falling for him; nannying his daughter and sneaking around with him in a burning love affair. you know how you feel about joel, he isn’t so sure about how it all is gonna work. the second summer is brief. a month spent at home after graduation and before you move to boston for your dream job. one look at you, one time hearing your voice, and joel is hooked again. he pines over you for that month, but you think — how is long distance of over a thousand miles going to work for a single dad? the third summer, you return home burnt out and pride bruised from your post-grad life. you need time to feel at home again, like your complete self, so you’ve come back home with no return ticket booked. it’s only a matter of time before joel seeks you out, slowly spending more time with you. without an inevitable end to the summer looming over you both, what chances are you willing to take?

word count: 10k

warnings: NO OUTBREAK (don’t need to worry about the mushies), no use of y/n, inexperienced reader, age gap (joel is 30/31, reader is 22), canon-divergent (sarah is 7 y/o), nanny au, pet names (sweetheart, darling, sweet girl, mariposa, etc.), polite southern manners, feeling familial and self-pressure, ESTABLISHED relationship FINALLY, spanish cause joel is latino, fingering, unprotected p in v, dirty talkkk king joel miller, soft (and soft dom) joel, possessive joel, mentions of depression diagnosis and symptoms, struggling with self, discussion of co-parenting, angst, MAJOR doubt! and a slumber party! yay!

a/n: thank you as always to the bestie/cousin/sister wife/sweet, sweet gf @northernbluess for beta-reading this chapter, seriously i can't write without you so you're stuck with me. also this chapter is a little heavier in spanish then before, so if there are any corrections needed, please comment or message me! i went through multiple translations to try to find the best/most common, but things are bound to slip through the cracks.

Joel’s been catching up with some chores around the house this evening after Sarah’s gone to bed: dishes are washed and put away, counters wiped down and floors mopped. He reset the living room after he put the laundry in the dryer, settling onto the couch with a long sigh. Hands rub at his tired eyes, muscles aching for his bed but he is determined to stay up until you text him that you’re back at your friend’s house safe.

A few of your friends from college ended up with jobs in Austin, and tonight you’d all arranged to go out downtown. You had, sweetly, invited Joel to tag along but when you mentioned that the only other guys there would be boyfriends of your friends that were your age, he politely declined. Well, he used his daughter as an excuse because he didn’t want to admit that he was a little insecure about the age difference, even still.

It’s not even a large one, you’re twenty-five  and he’s thirty-three, but with a nearly ten year old kid and his own business, he’s willing to bet he’s in a much different place in life than your friends' significant others. And if there isn’t a lot of common ground, Joel knows he’s not the most social or conversational.

Resting his eyes, his head rolls back onto the couch while the TV drones on about the latest Astros game. A short buzz from his phone in his pocket peels his eyes open, yawning quietly as he fishes the device out and flips it open.

FROM: Mariposa

Cn u pcik me up pLs????

While deciphering your drunk text, another couple are delivered and he keys down to see them as he chuckles at the antics. 

I miiss u

Eveynoe is w their BFs n I wnt mine 

Plesaseeeeeee J

Before he can type a response to you, an incoming call blocks out his screen, his thumb hitting the accept button quickly and bringing the phone to his ear.

“Feelin’ alright, Mari?”

A hiccup on the other line makes him laugh quietly again, your voice coming in over the music and people in the background, “No, not alright. M’sad.”

“Why’re you sad, sweet girl?”

“Cause you’re not here. Every—everybody’s…No I didn’t want a vodka water, gross! I wanna vodka soooooda with lime…Oops, sorry J. What was I saying?” A giggle from your end pulls a smile on his face, only slightly worried at your level of intoxication.

“You were telling me why you’re sad.”

“Right! M’sad cause all my friends have got their boy—” One hiccup. “Boyfriends here. And you’re aaaallllll the way at home.” Another hiccup. “I wanna be home with you.”

“I see. Well, I don’t want you to be sad, darlin’, so m’gonna come pick you up. How’s that sound?”

He hears a gasp into the phone and your voice gets quieter, imagining you holding the phone or turning your head away to a nearby friend.

“He’s coming! Jus’ to pick me up though, we gotta get back for Sar—Sarah…Yeah, she’s so cute…Well, yeah duh, he’s a DILF…I mean, to me I guess he’d be a DIAF…‘Dad I Am Fucking’…Oh, shit!” There’s a rustling as he laughs to himself overhearing your conversation, a smug smile on his face from you bragging to your friends. “M’sorry, J, god I totally forgot I was on the phone!” You punctuate your sentence with an incredulous laugh before quieting down to hear Joel.

“That’s alright, Mari. M’gonna drop Sarah with Tommy and then come and get you, okay? Can you tell me where you are?” Joel is already standing from the couch, grabbing his keys from the entryway before making his way upstairs to get Sarah into the car.

“Ummm…One sec!” The line rustles again while he stands at the top of the stairs. “Okay, we’re at that place on 11th, Nickel City.”

“Yeah, I know where that is, sweetheart. Be there soon, okay?”

“Okay. Tha—” One last hiccup. “—nks, J.”

“Anytime, amor. Anytime.”

With Sarah dropped off at Tommy’s, Joel goes into town to pick you up. It takes another twenty minutes from Tommy’s place, finding a parking spot not too far from the bar. He slips in the door and starts to comb his eyes over the crowd, most people stepping out of his way from his intimidating frame while he weaves through the masses.

Spotting you off to the side at a high-top table, some friends he recognizes from your photos dotted around the surface as well. You’re wrapped up in a conversation with the person next to you while you sit on a stool, Joel’s eyes finally landing on the person you’re talking to. It’s another man, about his height, maybe a few inches shorter. He’s got light hair, a clean-cut look with some fancy shirt on. Clearly, the guy is flirting with you, standing closer and leaning an arm around the back of your chair. Knowing how drunk you sounded over the phone, it occurs to him that you likely don’t even realize this guy’s body language, a primal possessiveness taking over his judgment. 

He’s waited years for you. There’s no way in hell he isn’t putting on a show for this guy to send him a message.

Joel rolls his shoulders back, chest raising with the corrective posture. He saunters over to the table, politely smiling and waving as your friends must recognize him and welcome him to the group. He walks right up to the other side of your chair, placing a hand on your lower back and brushing against the skin exposed by the tank top you’re wearing.

A small gasp exhales from you with the surprise contact, turning your head and beaming when you see him. The look makes the wings of his butterfly flap faster, beating in time with his heartbeat.

“You’re here! M’so happy to see you.” He matches your smile before he is crushed in a hug, your arms around his neck. Unraveling from each other, you turn back toward the other man, before one of your other friends comes over to tell you something, pulling you away but still within arm’s length for Joel to keep his hand on you.

Joel reaches his hand out toward the man,  “Nice to meet you…”

“Colton.”

“Nice to meet you, Colton. Are you one of the college friends?”

Colton gives a weak handshake to Joel, shaking his head with a laugh, “No, actually, never met any of ‘em until tonight. Well, except Taylor. M’relatively new to town, met Taylor through work, so you know how it is. Trying to make some connections.”

Joel has to hold back his eye roll, annoyance clear on his face at the skirting around that this Colton is doing. Joel’s heard it before from Tommy — going up to a girl and using the ‘new in town’ line to get a conversation started and to hopefully get them to leave with you to ‘show you around’.

Mine. You’re mine, he repeats to himself, the jealousy pumping in his veins.

“So’re you one of the college friends? Or an Austin friend?” Colton makes polite conversation while you turn in Joel’s arm and wrap your own around his back. Tugging on his t-shirt the fingers of one of your hands slip under the material and skim across his skin. Joel clears his throat, chuckling dryly as he keeps his gaze on Colton.

“Uh, not quite. M’the boyfriend.” His head nods to his side to you, a tight, smug smile on his face as he watches the gears in Colton’s head turn.

It’s not happening for him tonight. Or ever.

“Oh shit! You must be Joel! We’ve been waiting for you. I’ve just been making sure she’s had some water and didn’t wander off before you got here. She’s been talkin’ about you all night, made me think about how many times I’ve drunkenly ranted about my girlfriend.”

“Your girlfriend?”

“Yeah, Taylor’s my girlfriend — she’s the one with blonde hair right across the table.” Colton beams down the way as Taylor makes eye contact with him, waving to the woman as she smiles back at him.

The man is a golden retriever. And Joel thought he was some douchebag trying to hook up with his girlfriend. Joel opens his mouth to apologize for his cold behavior, but before he can your head pops up from his chest, grabbing his attention. Hands at his back scratch your nails against his skin, humming contently as you press a sloppy kiss to his jaw.

Colton considers his duties relieved and goes to find his girlfriend before Joel can thank him, leaving the two of you at the end of the table. Joel pulls his chin in to look down at you, smiling softly and moving a hand to the back of your neck.

“You alright, sweetheart?”

“Yeah, jus’ happy you’re here. Missed you.”

Joe presses a kiss to your forehead and you hum again, swaying sleepily in his arms. “M’glad you called me, Mariposa.”

“Can we go home now please?”

“Yeah, Mari, ‘course we can. You want me to bring you to your house?” His hands move to your sides, running up and down against the fabric of your tank top. You hook your arms around his neck and shake your head, a tiny “humpf” accompanying it.

“No, home.”

“My house?”

“Yes! Home. Wanna sleep in your bed, s’comfier than mine.”

“Yeah, sweetheart, I can bring you home.”

A warm stirring is felt in his chest, steadying you in your stance and keeping an arm around your waist. You say goodbye to your friends, all of them waving to you both as Joel steers you through the bar and to his truck outside.

Joel calls Tommy on the way home, his brother telling him that Sarah’s out cold and he can bring her back in the morning when she wakes up. He presses for an answer about why Joel had to drop Sarah off, but Joel ignores Tommy’s question again and hangs up.

Safely back at his house, he helps you out of the truck and inside, walking behind you on the stairs as you stumble. It’s like a baby deer learning to walk — he’s never seen you this drunk, tipsy, sure, but never at this level. A smile crosses his face as he imagines a moment like this in the future with you, maybe after a night out for the two of you or maybe even after your wedding.

Your voice pulls him out of his thoughts, tripping over your feet at the landing and recovering on your own. His hand hovers at your back, ready to break your fall if it happens.

“I’m alright, m’alright. Jus’ tripped a lil’.”

To be safe, Joel holds your hips the rest of the way up and into his room, sitting you on the edge of the mattress and gathering a t-shirt from his drawers for you to wear to bed.

“No, I want the funny one that I like,” you whine, waving a hand back at his dresser. Joel shakes his head to himself, chuckling about the fact that you still have a preference for sleep attire.

He grabs the shirt you’re talking about, a worn and washed one that he got as a joke from Tommy a few years ago. He normally wears it to sleep himself, if he wears one, or around the house if he knows he won’t be going out. It’s faded black now, yellow text that reads ‘I do know it all…I just can’t remember it all at once.’

Upon finding it in his drawer last week, you laughed hysterically and made him put it on for a Polaroid. You’ve also requested it every time you’ve stayed over since. 

In front of you again, with the correct shirt, he kneels down and pats the outside of your thighs. “Can you stand for me, sweetheart?”

Using his shoulders as support, you stand on sea legs, swaying back and forth as he looks up at you. “Can I take off your skirt, darlin’?”

“Yeah, you can, cutie.” You giggle and sway wider, playing with the curls at the top of his head, turning his head to your will as he unbuttons and unzips your denim skirt. “You got some grays mixed in here, mister.”

“M’getting old, Mari. No surprises there.” He chuckles and helps you lift each foot to step out of the tube of material completely, rubbing a hand on your calf before he stands in front of you again. He’s faced with a pout, brows knit together in anger.

“You’re not getting old. You’re literally in your thirties. Not old.”

“Say that to the gray hairs then, sweetheart.”

“Gray hairs—“ Hiccup. “Mean nothing ‘sides the fact that you’re gonna be a silver fox. My silver fox.”

A content smile, closed lips, pulls the corners of your mouth up. Heavy eyelids cover your irises halfway, the sight of you so drunkenly drowsy is utterly adorable to him. Fingers grip the bottom of your tank top, kissing your forehead.

“Can I take off your shirt?”

“Take it all off, bay-beeee.” Your swaying causes you to stumble again, Joel catching you before you fall back onto the bed. Once you’re steady, your own hands slip under his shirt, running over his tummy while you press sloppy kisses into his neck. “Mm, want you so bad, J.”

“I love you, darlin’, and you know I want you all the time, but not tonight. You need to get some water and go to sleep. For a while.” A defeated sigh blows against his skin, rocking back on your heels and Joel holding your weight to bring you to stand straight again. “Arms up, baby.”

You comply without another ask, lifting your arms as if they’re heavy weights, allowing Joel to tug the material over your head. With a slight slap sound, your arms drop back against your sides. Joel takes off your bra for you and gets you into his t-shirt, giving you a small kiss. He walks you to your side of the bed, tucking you in.

“Be right back, sweet girl. Gonna get you some water and then you can go to sleep, okay?”

“Okay.” You sigh, nesting into the sheets and duvet. Your eyes close, soft hums filling the room as he runs downstairs, filling a glass of water and grabbing ibuprofen to leave at your bedside for the morning.

Returning to his room, he coaxed you to sit up, having you drink half the glass. He changes for bed himself, stripping down to his boxers and slipping under the covers, pulling you closer with an arm around your waist.

“G’night, Mari.”

“Mm, night, J. Thanks for coming to get me and bringing me home. Like sleeping next to you lots more than a sleepover with my friends…”

“Like sleeping next to you too, Mari. Missed you all night. M’glad you’re home now.”

“Nightie night.”

“Nightie night, sweet girl. Don’t let the bedbugs bite.” He pinches your side playfully, breathing a laugh out of his nose at your yelp and squeezing you closer. With a kiss to the top of your head, he lulls you to sleep with his fingertips running up and down your spine, thoughts going right back to those flash images of a future with you.

“Love you, Mariposa.”

There’s an ache all over your body, eyes too sore and crusted over with sleep to peel open when you first wake up. Light peeks through the curtains, shining onto the bed and directly at your face, making you groan into the pillow and attempt to roll over.

Unfortunately, your body is telling you to get up, find water or pain meds or some coffee, you really wouldn’t be all too picky at this moment. Rolling over onto your back, you reach out to your side and feel bedding underneath your hand, pouting to yourself when you finally open your eyes and see Joel’s gone. As you sit up, you can hear the shower turn on in the bathroom attached to his bedroom and you can hear some quiet humming from the other side of the door. A smile crosses your face, the idea of a shower nestling itself in your mind and feeling like it would be the only thing to get rid of all of this hangover.

On the nightstand next to you, there are two burgundy-colored tablets and a half glass of water, vaguely remembering last night when Joel made you drink the other half before going to sleep. Washing down the ibuprofen with the entirety of the water, you start to recount what you can recall from the night before, cringing internally when you get to the point that Joel showed up to pick you up. You don’t really remember getting home, but looking down at the t-shirt you’re wearing clues you in that Joel must have done most of the work to get you into bed.

Slipping out from under the duvet, you set the empty glass back down and slink over to the bathroom, twisting the knob and opening the door. The squeak of the hinges breaks your sneaking attempt and Joel’s humming stops.

He speaks up over the sound of the water, “Mariposa? That you?”

“I sure hope no one else would be sneaking into the bathroom this morning. Unless you have another drunk girlfriend you had to pick up from the bar,” you laugh at the self-deprecating joke, picking up your toothbrush and squeezing out a dollop of toothpaste to clean your teeth. And to get rid of the taste of tequila lingering on your tongue.

The shower curtain slides back a bit and Joel’s head sticks out, goofy grin on his face with curls hanging on his forehead. “Nah, just got the one. How’re feeling this morning?”

“Like I got beat up by a bunch of vodka sodas and a couple of tequila shots.” Your words are muffled around the foamy toothpaste, leaning back against the counter facing him.

“Yeah, you were pretty drunk, darlin’. But it was honestly cute, you’re a funny drunk.”

Turning back toward the sink, you fold over the sink to spit out and rinse your mouth out, groaning softly, “God, please tell me I didn’t do or say anything embarrassing.”

“Nothin’ too bad, but there were some things that I will be committing to memory,” Joel laughs and winks, the noise getting louder as you groan again and roll your head back.

“This is the worst part about getting drunk. People holding stupid shit you said over your head.” Crossing your arms in front of your chest, you look at Joel across the few feet separating you and watch him shake his head and grin sweetly.

“I’ll tell you what you said, sweetheart, but I think you’re in too physically fragile of a state right now.”

“God, you are right about that,” you sigh and shake your head, propping yourself off the counter you were leaning on, crossing the tiles to be only a foot from Joel’s face, “Can I join you? A shower sounds like exactly what I need right now.”

He nods quickly, halfway through the question and you chuckle at the antics, pulling the t-shirt over your head and slipping off your panties to leave both in a heap with Joel’s clothes. He opens the curtain for you and steps back toward the other wall while you close the curtain and drag yourself under the stream of water.

A sigh relaxes your chest and shoulders, closing your eyes as you let the warm water run all over you. Joel’s hands brush across your skin, the feeling of his work-worn palms sending a tingle of excitement down your skin and chilling your body even under the hot water. His thumbs cup under your breasts while the rest of his fingers splay out on your ribcage, tips of them toward your back as he holds you closer to him.

“Mm, you’re so beautiful, d’you know that, mi Mariposa? La mujer más hermosa del mundo (The most beautiful woman in the world),” Joel mumbles against your skin when he nestles into the crook of your neck, curving his back to fit with you perfectly. His hands wander from your ribs, circling around your back and drifting down to the swell of your ass where they settle with a gentle squeeze.

“I think I’m getting better at Spanish 'cause I understood that. And it was very sweet, thank you, J. I think you’re the most beautiful man in the world.” You giggle and feel Joel exhale a chuckle against your neck, peppering slow and spaced kisses along your shoulder.

“You also told me something else about what you think of me last night. Well, it was to one of your friends but you were still on the phone with me so I heard,” he stretches to full height again with a smug smirk, squeezing your ass again as you sigh.

“Oh god, what did I say to you? Did I feed your massive ego?” you tease, bringing your hands up to his shoulders and lightly scratching your nails against his skin.

“I learned that I am a DILF last night. Or according to you, I am a DIAF to you. Dad I Am Fucking.” He can barely get the last sentence out around his loud laugh, your embarrassed reaction of wide eyes and jaw dropped egging him on more.

“Stop, I cannot believe I said that. And that you heard! You’re never going to let me live that down.”

“Not a chance, sweetheart. Not a chance,” Joel can’t wipe the giggly smile off of his face as he continues, “Oh, and you also were definitely really into me getting you into pajamas last night. I asked if I could take off your shirt and you said ‘Take it all off bay-beeee’. Which was very tempting.”

“Oh my god, if you don’t stop telling me all of this right now, I won’t take anything off for you again.” It’s a thinly veiled threat, both of you know it holds zero weight.

“Alright, alright. I’ll stop.”

“Thank you,” you breathe out as you turn toward the shelf in the shower, reaching for the body wash before Joel intercepts your hand, holding it in his and lowering it to your side. He presses his chest to your back, the contact also nudging his hard cock into the flesh of your ass.

“Y’know, I woke up this morning after you were all over me last night with a fucking hard on. Aching for you. And then you come in here and ask to join me in the shower, made it come right back…” he leans down, kissing your shoulder, up your neck and to your ear, “D’you still want me, Mariposa? Hm?”

One of his hands drifts to your inner thighs, coaxing your legs apart and swiping two fingers from your entrance to your clit. Your arousal coats his fingers, a quiet whimper leaving your lips in an exhale, eyes closing and head rolling back against his shoulder.

“You still want me, mi dulzura? Feels like you do,” his lips are against your ear, voice low and gravelly, and he slowly circles your clit as you continue to whimper and writhe in his arms, “Sounds like you do, too, mi amor. Y’know, we have the whole house to ourselves, Mariposa. I want you to be loud for me while I touch you. Understand?”

Lost in the sparks of pleasure slowly building, your words get caught in your throat as one of your arms reaches up to wrap around to the nape of his neck. At the lack of response to his question, Joel pinches your clit before pulling his hand away.

“No, no, no, please. I understand. I’ll be loud for you, J. Please touch me…”

You grip the curls at the back of his head, biting your lip and opening your eyes again to look at Joel’s head at your side. His hand comes back, his thumb rubbing your clit while his middle finger sinks into you until the first knuckle. He keeps his eyes on your face, slowly working the finger in and out of your cunt, never giving it to you fully.

“Fuck, don’t tease me, Joel. Please, pretty please, gimme more.”

A deep chuckle rumbles from his chest, his nose nudging at your cheek to turn your head straight toward the tiled wall, pressing open-mouthed kisses along your jaw.

“You want more, Mariposa?”

“Pleasepleaseplease.”

“Mm, and are you going to be good? Give me all your pretty sounds that I love?” Joel pushes his entire middle finger into you now, holding it there, “If I give you what you want, you gotta be loud for me, pretty girl.”

“I will, I promise.” You wiggle your hips to get any more friction building, grumbling in frustration when Joel’s other arm tugs your hips back against him, strapping you to him like a seatbelt. The thumb against your clit leaves, and as you’re about to complain again, Joel adds another finger and starts to thrust them in and out frenetically, the heel of his palm rubbing the sensitive bud at the front of your folds.

A sinful moan rolls from your gut, bouncing off of the walls of the shower and drowning out the sound of the water for a few seconds. You can feel Joel’s satisfied smirk against your skin, his mouth dipping to the crook of your neck to suck at your pulse point and leave his mark. His hand continues its rapid pace, your legs bending as they start to give out the closer you reach to the edge. To attempt to hold your weight, you lean your arms against the tiles, feeling yourself being held up by Joel’s arm tightened across your hips.

“Fuck, Joel, feels so fucking good. Oh!” Your voice pitches up when his fingers graze that spot inside your walls, the sound catching in your throat. Joel pushes deeper with his fingers, hooking them to find that same spot and petting against it with small strokes of his fingers. The sounds coming from you are uncontrollable, head falling back against his shoulder as a mess of his name, lustful whimpers and whines, and wanton moans echo in the steaming shower.

“That’s it, pretty girl, I can feel how close you are. Nearly squeezing my fingers out of ya.” Joel’s small groan vibrates against your shoulder, his hard-on being pressed into your back and leaking pre-cum. You can feel yourself clench around his fingers, the edges of your vision blurring as you near your peak. “Gonna come for me, Mari? Gonna be a good girl and come all over my hand so you can be ready for my cock?”

His words are the final push, pleasure oozing around his fingers and dripping down your folds, warmth spreading in your body as your nerve endings tingle. You can hear yourself moaning his name, small encouragements spoken in your ear as Joel continues to fuck his fingers into you throughout your orgasm. When you’re fully present in your body again, Joel slips his fingers out of you slowly, turning your head and kissing you deeply.

“Need you so fucking bad, Mariposa,” he says against your lips, kissing you fervently before speaking again, “Wanna bend you over and make you take my cock, and you’ll tell me how good it feels filling you up. You want it, pretty girl?”

“Need it, J. Please, I need you so bad.” You kiss him this time, pressing your hips back and grinding against his cock, the rumble of a mouth muffled into your mouth as your tongues meld together. Joel pulls away and grips your hips, turning both of you so his back is facing the stream of water.

“Hands against the wall, amor, arch your back for me—” You follow his instructions with one of his large hands skimming along your spine, folded to an angle at your hips. “That’s it, baby. So good for me.”

Joel takes his cock in his hands, teasing his tip at your entrance and earning a whine from you. A dark laugh is heard faintly from behind you, an equally quiet sigh of relief when he gives you just the tip.

“Mm, fuck, Mari. Estás tan apretado, y húmedo, y cálido. Nunca me voy a cansar de este coño. (You’re so tight, and wet, and warm. I’m never going to get tired of this pussy.)” 

Before you can formulate any sort of response, despite not fully knowing what he said, Joel gives you a few more inches of his cock, stuttering out a moan from you before his hips set a rough, desperate pace. Grunts and groans, moans and whimpers fill the bathroom, your names exchanged back and forth as he fucks you from behind. His hands hold tightly onto your hips, digging in to surely form bruises to match the hickey at your collar, and to keep you from being rammed into the wall with how hard his thrusts are.

“More, fuck, gimme all of it, J. Want you to fill me up, make it hard to fucking walk straight.”

There’s a vibrating rumble that resonates in your own chest, Joel completely pulling out on the downstroke and heaving his chest up and down with shallow breaths.

“Fucking dirty girl. Mi chica sucia. Filthy, baby.” He runs his fingers down the line of your spine, still arched for him. You feel him lined up at your entrance again, whimpering for him and pressing your hips back to try to get him inside. Joel chuckles, shaking his head, “Mm, can’t get enough of my cock, can you, sweetheart? Greedy little thing.”

Your jaw drops open with a toe-curling moan, Joel’s hips thrusting his throbbing cock into your waiting cunt to fill you completely, the same rough and hard pace set as he makes you knock forward and brace against the wall with every movement.

“Take it, darlin’. Oh, fuck, aguantarla. Puedes aguantarla, mi dulzura. (Oh, fuck, take it. You can take it, my sweetness.)” Joel’s head rolls back with another guttural moan, tilting forward to watch his cock disappearing into your dripping hole. “Fuck, such a pretty pussy. And it’s all fucking mine, isn’t that right, Mariposa?”

“Y-Yes! Fuck yeah, it’s all yours, J. No one could ever fuck me like you,” you glance over your shoulder and he makes eye contact, a wide, knowing smile on his face. Your cunt clenches around his cock, his brutal pace hurtling you toward the edge. Just as you’re about to ask for that little bit more, he reads your mind and slips one of his hands around your front, errantly rubbing circles in your clit.

“Can feel you around me, Mari, know you’re close. You gonna let me fill you up with my come? Gonna milk my cock with your tight pussy?”

All you can do is nod, eyes shutting tightly as moans squeak out of you. One hand reaches back to grip his wrist as he keeps you right there at the edge.

“Say it, baby. Say it back to me and I’ll let you come. Give you just what you need.”

A deep breath brings enough air into your lungs to rasp out, “Please fill me up, Joel. Wanna milk your cock of everything you can give me, want you to be dripping out of me all day. Remind me of how only you can have my pussy.”

“Fuck yeah, that’s right, sweetheart. Such a good girl.” Joel eyes that you have a hand bracing you still, letting go of your hip as he fucks you, rubbing your clit continuously. He reaches his free hand around to your mouth, prodding his thumb at your lips and humming when you take it into your mouth and suck. After a minute, he pops out his saliva covered digit and brings it back to your body, pushing into the tight ring of muscle facing him. The sensation of stimulation at all three places barrels you to your high, pussy gripping his cock as everything tenses and pleasure rocks your body and clears your mind.

With the tightness felt in both holes around him, Joel takes one, two, three more thirsts before he’s spilling into you, ropes of come coating your walls and lazy jerks of his hips fucking it deeper into you.

After a moment, Joel pulls out of you slowly, gathering all that dribbles out of you and pushing it back inside with his fingers, causing a shudder down your spine.

The two of you come down from your peaks, the water running cold now. Still needing to clean yourselves, Joel washes your body while you shampoo and condition his hair as he folds over to gently exfoliate your legs. The tasks get swapped, Joel washing your hair while you wash his body.

Stepping out, he grabs a towel for you, wrapping it around you tightly and giving you a sweet, chaste kiss. He gets another towel for himself, both of you drying off and heading back into his bedroom to get dressed again.

You sit on the edge of his bed in your clothes from last night, one of his shirts pulled over your tank top and tucked into your skirt. As you comb your fingers over your wet hair, you look at Joel as he pulls on a pair of jeans standing next to his closet.

“Hey, I have a question for you, actually.”

“Shoot, darlin’.”

“Am I remembering correctly that last night when you came to the bar, you were acting a little jealous toward Colton? Did you think he was flirting with me or something and you got all possessive?” you giggle quietly.

Joel blushes and shakes his head with an overexaggerated eye roll. “Pffft, no. Don’t remember it happening like that, probably a bit clouded in your memory.”

Laughing more, you stand up and cross over to him, hands splayed on his soft tummy and head tilted away from him.

“Oh, sure. Sure, J, we’ll go with that if it makes you feel better.” Reaching up you give his cheek a gentle pat and wink at him, giggling faintly before he gathers you up in his arms and gives you a kiss.

“Good, 'cause it does make me feel better. ‘Sides can you blame me for getting a little jealous? We’ve waited like three years to get this right with each other, m’not letting it go.”

“Me neither, which is why you don’t ever have to be jealous cause it’s only you, baby.” You send him a wink and a grin, giving him a kiss before you both hear the front door open, Tommy’s voice echoing upstairs as he calls out for Joel. He looks down at you, biting his lip.

“I didn’t think he’d be bringing Sarah home this early. Uh, d’you mind that he’s here or should I jus’ say…” he trails off awkwardly, waiting for your thoughts on how to broach the fact that you’re over here, in Joel’s shirt and clearly have stayed the night with your wet hair from the shower.

“If you’re fine with him knowing, we can tell him. That is if Sarah hasn’t spilled the beans already.” Joel laughs faintly and nods, running his hands up and down your arms.

“That is highly possible. But guess we’ll have to find out when we head downstairs. And I’m apologizing now for any stupid shit my brother says.”

“You act like I don’t know Tommy already.”

“You don’t know Tommy as my girlfriend. He’s going to give you some shit, and he’s going to give a lot to me for keeping it from him.”

“Think I can survive Tommy Miller. Now, c’mon, get a shirt on, and let’s go. I need some coffee.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Joel descendsed the stairs ahead of you, rounding the corner into the kitchen and greeting his brother as Tommy pours himself a cup of coffee. Sarah is already at the table, cereal bowl in front her as she eats and reads her book. Joel grabs two mugs from the cabinet, earning a confused look from Tommy before you walk into the room, the confusion melting into mischief. His brother nudges at Joel’s arm and winks.

“Ah, así que esta es la razón de su aventura nocturna en la ciudad. Puedo ver por qué estabas tan desesperada por mi ayuda. (Oh, so this is the reason for your late-night adventure into the city. I can see why you were so desperate for my help.)”

Joel’s eyes roll into the back of his head, “Cállate, Tommy. Necesitaba que la llevaran a casa, así que le di una. (Shut up, Tommy. She needed a ride home, so I gave her one.)”

“Claro, claro. Un paseo. (Sure, sure. A ride.)”

“Pendejo de mierda (Fucking dumbass).”

“¿Qué? No estoy diciendo que haya algo malo en ello. Estoy feliz de ver a su hijo si significa que usted consigue algunos. Finalmente. (What? I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it. I am happy to watch your child if it means you getting some. Finally.)” He laughs when Joel glares at him, Tommy crossing over to the table and covering Sarah’s ears. “Además, ella está jodidamente caliente. No sé lo que ve en un viejo como tú. (Plus, she’s fucking hot. Don’t know what she sees in an old man like you.)”

“Yo tampoco. Y deja de hablar de ella así. (I don’t either. And stop talking about her like that.)” Joel’s voice grits out the last sentence, his short fuse being tested with Tommy’s teasing this morning.

“No, realmente, ella es casi diez años más joven y podría conseguir a quien quisiera, pero ¿eres tú? Mejor empieza a apostar por los caballos, hermano. (No, really, she’s almost ten years younger and could get anybody she wanted, but it’s you? Better start betting on the horses, brother.)” His younger brother comes back to stand next to him, picking up his mug and taking a sip.

“Déjalo. (Quit it.)” Joel sends him another glare, grabbing the milk out of the fridge to add some to your cup.

“Maldita sea, tal vez tengo que contratar a una niñera para Sarah cuando está en mi casa. O tal vez la contrate yo mismo. (Damn, maybe I gotta hire a nanny for Sarah when she’s at my house. Or maybe I’ll hire her myself.)”

When Joel looks back at Tommy, he sees him eyeing you as you talk to Sarah at the table, smacking him upside the back of his head.

“Tommy, si no te callas la mierda ahora mismo, lo juro por Dios. (Tommy, if you don’t shut the fuck right now, I swear to god.)”

“Qué? Ella tu novia ahora? (What? She your girlfriend now?)” The young Miller questions, raising an eyebrow.

“Sí, lo es. Así que deja de hablar de lo caliente que es mi novia. (Yeah, she is. So stop talking about how hot my girlfriend is.)” Joel states matter-of-factly, shutting the fridge after returning the jug of milk.

“I understood some of that actually,” you say with a proud smile on your face, one of eager mischief on Tommy’s across the room.

Joel whips his head to you, wide eyes, “What did you understand?”

“You called him an asshole. Something about Sarah. The word girlfriend was thrown in there.”

Joel sighs quietly in relief, picking up your prepared mug of coffee.

“Oh, and something about you being old. And that your brother thinks I’m hot. ” Tommy sputters on his drink as he starts to laugh loudly, a deep blush warming Joel’s cheeks. You walk over to him and take the mug out of his hand, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Nothing to be embarrassed about. Cause you’re not old and Tommy just wishes he wasn’t single at thirty years old.”

Joel laughs and Tommy waves your comment off, rolling his eyes before winking at you, “Oh please, you wish you found me before this old man.”

“Sure, Tommy. You can think that all you want, but I met you both on the same day.” Joel barks out a laugh, a smug grin on his face from you holding your own toward Tommy.

Joel looks at his brother, a smile growing on Tommy’s face, “Well, maybe you needed to get your eyes checked that day, Posey. Cause you’d have to be blind to not pick me over the decrepit ass.”

“Y’know, I’m happy to set you up with one of my friends. She likes the type of cute guys who think they’re funny.”

“I know I’m funny, Posey, so not sure if it’s gonna work out. But yes, I would like to be set up with this friend of yours, please…” You laugh and nod, sipping your coffee before answering.

“I’ll work some magic for ya, Tommy.”

“I like this one, Joel, better keep her around so she can be my wingman.”

“You say ‘this one’ as if there have been others,” Joel rolls his eyes and continues, “And I certainly don’t need your advice on that front Tommy. She’s got me as long as she wants me, but please dear god, you should not be his wingwoman. Don’t subject yourself to that torture, Mari.”

The three of you chat to catch up, Tommy genuinely asking about your time in Boston and telling you how glad he is that you’re back around to make his people happy again. The comment swells your heart before your attention is pulled to Sarah as she asks about having a sleepover with you.

“I would love to throw a sleepover with you, sweet pea. I’ll bring over all the goodies to your house and we can stay in your room and watch movies and paint our nails and do all the fun girly things.”

“Yes! And Daddy and Uncle Tommy aren’t allowed ‘cause no boys.” She points at the two of them, both of them frowning and sighing.

“Can I at least be at home, mija?” Joel jokes, and the three of you laugh as Sarah seriously considers her answer.

“Yeah, that’s fine, but you gotta leave us to do the sleepover things ourselves.”

“Deal, Bug. I can do that.”

“Oh yes! It’s all decided then, we’ll have a sleepover when your week at camp is over.” You clap your hands together and grin, already planning everything you need to do this week to prepare for it.

“Damn, Mari, you brought a lot of stuff for one night with Sarah.” Joel eyes you from head to toe, a duffle on your arm, and shopping bags in your hands. He takes the plastic bags from you, holding the back door open for you before following you over to the island to set down all of your purchases. “You do know it’s only Sarah, right, darlin’? None of her friends are coming. This is a practice run for a sleepover.”

“I know, but I wanted to make the first girly sleepover she has at her house fun. I loved having my friends stay over when I was younger, and I dunno, you’re a boy so you don’t get it.” Rustling around in the bags, you start to pull out snacks and candy, along with fun new nail polishes and nail stickers, new hair clips, some young-girl-friendly makeup, and new pajamas for Sarah and you.

“Sweetheart, this is all really nice, but let me give you some money for it all. This is a ton of stuff.” Joel glances at the counter covered in supplies, and before you can answer he’s walking to the front door to get his wallet from the entryway table.

You call out after him, “I’m not going to take it so don’t bother trying! It wasn’t even that much anyway.”

Popping back around the corner into the kitchen, cash in hand, he shakes his head with a mocking laugh, “You’re funny. Even if it was five dollars, I’m giving you ten. Now please take the cash.”

Joel stops in front of you, hand out with a hundred in his hand. A dry laugh leaves your chest, pushing his hand away as you continue to sort through everything from the shops, “Not happening. This was way less than a hundred dollars too, so definitely not accepting that. Go put it back in your wallet, Miller.”

“You’re so goddam stubborn sometimes.”

“Oh, yeah, and you’re not?”

“Hey, I didn’t say that. I know I’m stubborn, that’s why this argument is happening. And why I am about to do this.” Joel steps behind you, slipping the bill into the back pocket of your shorts. You groan, fishing it out and shoving it back in his hand, pushing at his chest.

Joel rebuttals with another attempt, stepping toward you but you step back, backing around to the other side of the counter as he follows closely. You hold your arms out to keep space between the two of you, not being able to hold back a laugh as you start to pick up the pace in your cyclical chase.

“Joel! I’m not taking your damn money, leave it!”

“Mariposa, please, we both know I am way more stubborn than you and m’not gonna stop unless you take it.”

Shaking your head, you turn around to actually move into a speedwalk-jog kind of walk around the kitchen, serpentining your steps.

“Darlin’, I can still catch you if you walk like that.”

“Well, I’d like to see you try.”

Joel takes that statement as a challenge, suddenly catching up with you and wrapping his arms to your front, slipping the bill in the waistband of your shorts before letting you go, putting his hands up in the air.

Wordlessly, you snatch the money from your bottoms, throw it on the counter, and go back to the pile of purchases on the counter. After all of that, you start to unload the drinks in the fridge and open the pantry to throw the sweets and other snacks on one of the shelves. Joel stands and watches you, eyes going back and forth between following your movements to all of the things lying out, including the money.

A feeling kicks up in your chest, tightening your insides with a wring. Small moments send you back to feelings like these, unsupported by actual occurrences but your brain doesn’t care about what actually happens; it prefers the what-ifs. What if this doesn’t last, what if you’re too young, what if you’re too anxious, too broken, too much and it all comes crumbling from under you before you fully realize it? What if this is one of those moments you look back on as a sign? It’s taut and consuming, begging you to say something about it to release the corkscrew.

“If this is too much or if I’m overstepping a — I don’t know — a parental boundary 'cause she’s not my kid, and I know that, of course, but I wanted to do this for Sarah. M’not the nanny that you have to reimburse anymore, I just thought it would be fun to make it like how my sleepovers used to be as a kid…”

Joel’s brows stitch together with what looks like confusion or concern, rounding the kitchen island and standing next to you. A hand on your hip closest to him presses into the flesh there, turning you toward him as the other hand reaches up to tilt your chin to him. Your eyes avoid his, embarrassment heating your body with licks of flames.

“Can you look at me? Please?” His voice is unwavering but shy, boyish. You answer with a flick of up, meeting his own stare. “Mari, sweetheart, this isn’t about anything like that. I know you aren’t ‘the nanny’ anymore, and if I’m being honest, I don’t think you were ever just ‘the nanny’ to either of us. I was being pigheaded, and I didn’t want you to take on doin’ all of this yourself. It’s jus’ automatic for me to want to cover for Sarah, with any sort of activity. Not that I don’t want you to do all of this. I can’t even begin to explain how much it means to me that you care so much for Sarah. I’m just, I’m being her dad. And not giving you the means to do things for her yourself. M’sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize, J. I should have better explained myself from the beginning. I want to be a part of your lives, I want to….I don’t know, I don’t want to take the place of her mom, obviously, but I want to be someone she can do girly things with if we’re gonna be together for a while—”

“Not if, Mari. I don’t plan on letting you go without a serious fight,” Joel’s thumb brushes against your cheek as he holds your gaze, “I am so grateful and so relieved that Sarah has someone like you in her life. ‘Specially right now with everything around her mom leavin’, you’re exactly what she needs. What we both need…I will take the money back. But next time we’re splitting it, and every time after that ‘til it’s time that it’s coming outta a joint account.”

When Sarah arrives home from her playdate, Joel retreats upstairs after ordering pizza for the two of you (and him, because he claimed he was gonna sneak down) to watch something on the small tv in his bedroom. You and Sarah changed into your new pajamas and got all of the snacks moved into the living room, trekking blankets and pillows and stuffed animals from her room and around the house to build a nest on the floor in front of the couch.

Sarah had chosen The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants out of the stack of movies you had rented, popping it in and sitting back with you while you had her pick out a color for her nails. The two of you talked about camp and the past school year, her confessing a crush she has on a boy in her camp group this year. There’s only a few details you get from her as you paint her nails, giggling with her when she gets shy and telling her about your first crush.

Sarah eventually is the one to paint your nails, turning out a bit messy and abstract during the process but nonetheless it was fun. As she’s finishing up a second coat on the last nail of yours, the doorbell rings for the pizza and Joel jogs downstairs a minute later to answer the door. Carrying the boxes over to the kitchen after he paid and tipped, he grins at you and nods to the set up.

“Is that every pillow in our house?”

“Well, no, you still have the ones on your bed cause you were sitting on ‘em,” you reply as you walk into the kitchen behind Sarah, fingers splayed apart, careful not to smudge. The younger Miller does the same, looking up at Joel when she stands next to the pizza box.

“Daddy, can you get the slices for me? I don’t want to mess up my nails that Posey painted for me. Look at them! They’re so pretty!” She raises her arms up to give Joel a look, his hand taking one of hers and inspecting it.

“Gosh, Bug, these are just gorgeous. Mari did a great job,” he grins at you, giving you a wink at the same time an idea pops into yours.

“I could do your nails, J. They could match Sarah’s!” Your suggestion is immediately supported by his daughter, her small stature jumping up and down in front of him.

“Yes, yes! You need to get your nails painted, Daddy!”

“Wasn’t this sleepover ‘no boys allowed’?” he arches a brow before he grabs a piece of pizza, plopping it on a plate for Sarah to take into the other room, “If I can stay for longer than it takes to paint my nails and hang out and eat your snacks, you can absolutely paint my nails.”

Sarah takes her plate from her dad, grinning ear-to-ear as she retreats back to the blanket nest. Joel makes a plate for you, carrying it out with his own and setting them on the coffee table. With a groan, he lowers himself to the ground, leaning his back against the couch and holding out his hands to you.

“Go for it, sweetheart.”

“D’you want the same thing as Sarah or something different?”

“Hmm, what d’you think, mija? Should we match?”

“I think you should give Daddy the color I gave you, Posey. It’s so pretty!” she leans back against you, using you as a backrest while she eats her pizza carefully with her wet nails, engrossed in the movie.

“Alright, guess it’s decided then. We’ll be matching,” you smile at him, taking one hand in yours to pull it closer, relaxing it against your thigh as you open the polish bottle. Concentrating on the tasks at hand, Joel wiggles his fingers when you aren’t in the midst of painting to get your attention, holding up a piece of pizza near your face.

“Eat, darlin’. Gotta fuel your artistic brain,” he winks and smiles sweetly at you, earning a quiet laugh before you lean in and take a bite chewing as you go back to painting. You switch hands after a few more bites, giving him a break to eat his own pizza and you yours while the three of you watch the movie. Once your job is done, you close the bottle tight and set it on the table, getting Sarah’s attention to look at it.

“How’d I do, Sare-Bear? Does your dad look pretty?” Her giggles pull some from all of you, nodding and clapping her hands together.

“Daddy, you need some of my pretty stickers and then Posey needs to take a picture with her camera.” Sarah stands and moves over to the pile of beauty supplies, grabbing the pack of nail stickers you bought and picking out a sheet. She sits next to Joel, stickering around his face as he closes his eyes and lets it all happen.

“Is this what happens all the time at girl sleepovers?” He peeks an eye open at you, getting a wide smile and shrug.

“Guess we’ll have to have some more for you to really find out.” Sarah steps back from her handiwork, and you pick up the Polaroid camera, lining up the shot from the side of Joel where there’s multiple star stickers clustered around his eyes. The shutter snaps when he looks at you, spitting out the image. You hand it to Sarah to watch it develop, showing you both quickly before going to hang it on the fridge along with a few other of your shots. You snap another of him looking at you directly, soft rounded eyes filled with affection.

Once you set the camera down, holding onto that photo for yourself, his hands find your thighs, running over the soft cotton of your PJ pants.

“Thank you for doin’ this for her, she hasn’t been this happy and giggly since before you left last summer.” Joel leans in, giving you a gentle, lingering kiss. “I love you. So, so much, Mari.”

Instead of answering, you give him another kiss before Sarah walks back in, settling between the two of you on the floor nest, cuddling up within your little unit of three to finish out the movie.

A few nights after your slumber party, you sneak over to Joel’s again before bed, using the key to the back door that he had made for you. He’s sitting on the couch, a line of sight to the door and a sleepy smile tugging at his lips when he sees you.

Padding your feet across the floors, you climb onto the couch next to him and curl your legs under you while you lean into his side. His arm wraps you up and his lips press against your forehead with a content sigh.

“Hi, Mari.”

“Hey, J.”

“How was your day, darlin’?” he asks as he turns off the TV, fingers ghosting up and down your bicep.

“Good, it was good. Babysat for the O’Connors today with the little baby. She’s so adorable, just a day full of baby giggles.” You grin and Joel smiles back at you, nodding along, “And then after that I drove to therapy and had that for an hour and then went home and waited to come see you.”

“M’very glad you’re here. Can’t sleep without you anymore,” he kisses your temple, “How was therapy, amor?”

“Today was a little hard. Talked more about maybe looking into medicine cause I feel like it isn’t fully there yet. But I do feel like I am happy. Like in my heart. My brain just can't keep up. Still have a lack of interest in things and not a lot of energy like I used to.”

Joel hums an acknowledgment, looking down at you on his shoulder, “M’here if you need to talk about anything, sweet girl.”

“I know. Thank you,” you give him a chaste kiss, smiling drowsily, “How was your day?”

“Pretty alright. Had to go fill in for someone who called in sick today at a job site so I’m exhausted from all the lifting and using machinery. But the framing is all done which means there’s something that looks like a house standing on the lot,” Joel chuckles softly and glances out the front window, “And then, uh, ran into your mom when I got home. She must’ve been running out for something but she stopped to talk and invited me and Sarah and Tommy to celebrate the Fourth with y’all.”

You sit up, grinning excitedly, “Really? Oh my gosh, that will be so fun. Our first official holiday together. Even though it’s just the Fourth of July. Kind of lame.”

Joel chuckles along with you, nodding his head and avoiding your eyes, “I mean, I told her yes ‘cause I didn’t think you’d mind. But the more I got to thinkin’, I guess, I just—I think I need some more time before we tell your parents about us.”

Your face falls before you can hide it, Joel’s hand immediately reaching to cup your cheek delicately, “M’sorry, sweet girl. I just don’t think it’s a good idea for us to do it at a family event and maybe it might be best if we can sit them down sometime to talk about it all.”

A slow nod keeps you quiet, in your thoughts, rambling out an agreement as you bring your eyes to Joel’s again, “Yeah, yeah, I understand. I agree. Would be best to wait a little while longer.”

“Thank you, darlin’. M’so glad you agree. We’ll find the right time, eventually,” Joel gives you a tender kiss, lingering against your lips for a few more dopey exchanges. He pulls away, standing up and gathering you up with him, leading you to his bedroom and getting into bed with you, “Night, Mariposa. Love you.”

“Night, J,” you reply meekly, the small sound of your voice easily brushed off as fatigue. Joel keeps you close, spooning you with his front against your chest, falling asleep behind you quickly. You can’t rest, especially after that short and decided conversation.

Why did you agree so easily? And why was he even asking for more time? His daughter knows, his brother knows, your friends know. What’s any different about your family? Is he afraid that if he breaks your heart he’ll have to move? But why would he even think about that possibility when all he’s told you is how much he loves you, how he’ll be yours until you want nothing to do with him anymore?

Every reassurance that he’s given you is flooding your mind, those doubts and fears worming their way into the sweet memories and poisoning them with twisted words.

Every time he’s said he loves you, does he mean it? Or is he only saying it to say it, to placate your anxieties about the future of you two by committing in a way?

Is this push back about telling your family a response to you not being ready to say ‘I love you’ back? Is he getting fed up with waiting for it?

Are you too much too quickly? Weaving yourself too tightly into his life and his daughter’s life? Is he going to start to drift, to put off telling your parents until he can end it?

These thoughts cycle in an endless loop, keeping you up while Joel sleeps soundly beside you. Nausea stirs in your stomach, rapid heart beating from the spiraling of your mind keeping you wide awake until the early hours of the morning.

The only way you can manage to fall asleep is turning in Joel’s arms, cuddling into his chest and breathing in his scent to halt the carousel of negativity in your brain long enough for his even breaths to lull you to sleep.

One last question flashes to you before you’re finally asleep:

 What happens when Summer ends?

taglist: @beskarandblasters @undrthelights @swiftispunk @joelsversion @asirenbyanyothername @ellenmunn @ja-ehyun @sw33tp1xie @marisemonteiroo @brunetteeras @beee-haw @jenna-mcgraw19 @whore-4-pedro @katifefe @joelmillerswifu @itsgiorgiaz @soph55 @wild-hearts-runfree @youcancallmeelle @jupitre @starkovli @thatgeminigirlx @livingdeadmaria @bunnyskisses @houseofballoonsth @casual-obsessions @pedro-pascal-lvr @bimbodolls-world @burningnerdchild @tuquoquebrute @mrsvedder12 @estelivi28 @bongsrconfusing @addictedtotlou @angie2274 @pedrostories @pedroholicx @theelishad @johnwatsn @elissaaa @felicityofbakerstreet @atinylittlepain @northernbluess @cannolighost

[yoshiko-and-the-hikikomori]

Headcanons List!! ☆

--> general tw for mentioning s/h

if the item has a star (★) next to it, that means its one that i, mod, have projected onto him. this means that he's probably ooc!!

Gifted kid burnout, which led to more anxiety being put on him- if he isn't an academic weapon, what is he good for? ★

He also came from a pretty religious family, which fucked him up 'cause now every little thing he does is watched, right? ★

I like giving him longer hair and more stubble than in canon sooo

He gets headaches and motion sickness really easily due to how long he stares at his screens ★

He's got acne scars ★ oh my godddddddd please i love adding little human touches to him. this doesnt make you any less beautiful in fact i love you more because of it dont even try me

He owns those dumb 'eat sleep play video games repeat' and 'i paused my game to be here' shirts because people bought them as a joke for him

REALLY bad anxiety and depression (which i mean. canon actually)

the previous point means that his physical health also is pretty bad because depression is a bitch and will make you unable to do things like eat, drink water, shower, brush your teeth/hair and we don't need to sanitize that its okay to be human ★

major eyebags!!!

He'll go through these phases where he'll eat a lot at once for a few days then eat nothing at all for another few days in a cycle ★

He got disowned when he turned 18 due to being a 'disappointment' so he dropped out of college due to the mental toll that took

He's actually pretty smart without his ability, he just doesn't believe it 'cause he feels like his ability is the only thing that makes him smart.

He uses really bad humor to cope with his feelings!!! ★

MAJOR sweet tooth ★ get that man away from nearby pastry shops. He sometimes visits them before they close/right when they open because there's less people, and the workers there know him by name.

He used to self-harm but stopped recently.

Can't roll a blunt to save him life (is he stupid??)

He's addicted to keychains.★ He doesn't have any bags to put them on (he doesn't go outside enough to need one) so he just has a corkboard with pins in it to hold them.

He picked up a whole bunch of hobbies due to boredom of being inside all day with nothing to do. He's mediocre at them, but it's a bit of enjoyment that's worth it.

that's it. that's the point. guys please do you hear my screaming into the void not everyone can be twinks. do we see the vision of the homebody who has self-esteem issues yet cannot bring himself to change it (due to depression immobilitating him). who has to learn to love himself. also i just think he's cute.

He writes fanfiction c'mon. Look at that man and tell me to my face he has not taken a crack at dear Archive of our Own to write tooth-rotting fluff. Maybe a sickfic even. Do we see the potential everyone.

Terrible vision, he can't even see his own feet in front of him without his glasses. He's not making it better with his ability, but oh well...

He hates eating fish ★

He has a box containing all of his old childhood toys buried into a closet after having put them away at the ripe age of 05 ★ (this one doesn't count for my other blog, @/yoshiko-the-blankie because he's 07)

He has a really bad problem with gnawing and biting- he'll bite at his lips (then wonder why they're bleeding and cracked-), inner cheek, or whatever he can get into his mouth at the time. ★

Uhhh bushy eyebrows because the guy i'm into has them. so he can too

ALSO I FORGOT WHEN I POSTED THIS. I REFERENCE KUNIKIDA AND KATAI'S MAGNIFICENT DAYS A LOT. AS WELL AS THE WAN! CHAPTERS (ESPECIALLY MIDNIGHT TENSIONS ('giant mushroom') AND STORMING KATAI TAYAMA NEXT DOOR!!!! okay thank you

he got bullied a LOT in high school

I'll probably add more when I think of them / they fit RP lore soo

computer divider @/bleedingspiral | tags?? if you're interested idk @no-ones-sunshine

[belphegor1982]

Find the word in your WIPs

I was tagged by both @rose-of-pollux and @tuttle4077 for a "Find the word in your WIP" game! Here are the rules: Find the words from the list in your WIPs and post the paragraph they belong to.

Thanks a lot :D They both gave me different words, too, so let's go!

I ended up using What Nightmares May Come (my long HH fic) a lot, if only because it's so long (64k+ words, gah, if only the inspiration could come back!!) but also from The Message (the follow-up to Mon Pays et Paris), three The Mummy WIPs, and one word from a Legend of Vox Machina somewhat long WIP. And since it got so long, I'm putting most of it under a cut ^^'

Tagging @thisstableground, @tinydooms, @laurelindebear, @teashoesandhair, @kabbal and @kaantt 💜

List of (new) words: chase | average | fast | minute | whole

sigh (from The Message, Hogan's Heroes)

“Did you clear that up with Colonel Hogan?” he asked. LeBeau stuck out his chin in a familiar show of stubbornness.

“Of course I did,” he said just a second too quickly.

Kinch shook his head.

“Man, now I know why you won’t play poker with Newkirk. He’d clean you right out.” He sighed. “LeBeau, you can’t just take a radio because you feel like it. Do you know how many of the guys miss listening to the Andrew Sisters or the World Series?”

hint (from A Fifth of Glenlivet, The Mummy)

The tea was light and slightly sweet, with a hint of mint. Egyptian style. Rick – though more of a coffee guy – had to admit that for what he considered to be lightly flavoured hot water, it wasn’t that bad, especially without the obligatory splash of milk generally favoured by the British.

heart (from Manifold, The Mummy)

She waits a little, enjoying the wind on her face and the shade the balloon casts over them; then she asks without looking at him, her voice very low, her heartbeat very loud, “Whom did you fall in love with first: Elizabeth, or Tom?”

toast (from In A Mellow Tone, The Mummy)

“Good Heavens. And I thought my parents had their hands full with me and Evy.” Jonathan put his palm into his hand and grinned. “How much of a scamp were you when you were a kid?”

“Not that much,” Harry said with a sharp smile, “but I usually got away with a lot, even more than Nellie did. You see, I didn’t often let myself get caught.”

“Sound philosophy,” said Jonathan, raising his half-empty pint in a toast Harry met with his own. “So you have four siblings?”

operation (from What Nightmares May Come, Hogan's Heroes)

The conversation in Klink’s office seemed to be over, so Kinch unplugged the coffee pot and replaced the lid. They were all thinking the same thing; all operations would have to come to a complete stop. The absence of the sub already meant they couldn’t go through with their orders of ‘assisting escaping prisoners’; but this meant that the other part, about ‘cooperating with all friendly forces and using every means possible to injure and harass the enemy’, was nixed as well if nobody could set foot outside camp.

_______________________

That's it for Tuttle's words! Now for Rose's :o)

sea (from What Nightmares May Come, Hogan's Heroes)

“Let’s hope that your escape will earn him a one-way ticket to the Russian front,” Hogan grimly quipped, his eyes serious. “In the meantime, you get to stay at the… ‘guerilla Hilton’ for a couple of days, we fit you with civilian clothes and official papers, and you do a little cross-country ‘round the German countryside. There’s a British sub in the North sea, a little off Wangerland. You’ll be in England faster than you can say ‘fish and chips’.”

star (from What Nightmares May Come, Hogan's Heroes)

Hogan whistled between his teeth. “So they’re basically stuck here for God knows how long?”

“Basically.”

“No chance of a plane, I suppose?”

“I asked. Apparently, if our guests were two-star generals, they would consider sending one.” Hogan didn’t miss the discreet sarcasm in his radioman’s deadpan voice.

pleasant (from A Fifth of Glenlivet, The Mummy)

Something loosened in the set of Jonathan’s shoulders.

“Good. Because if you’re planning to steal more toolkits for my sister then it’s better if… Well, you know. She’s had a lot flung at her because she has the gall to be a scholar and a girl, and ‘only half-English’ to boot.”

Something told Rick that particular turn of phrase glossed over many others, much less pleasant. Which both siblings probably had their own share ‘flung at’ them, come to think of it.

walk (from Underture, The Legend of Vox Machina)

Scanlan let his hand fall and rolled his eyes.

“Look, you don’t need to get your panties in a knot. I can see better than you at the moment, so the way I see it there’s only one way you won’t fall behind and get lost.” He walked back to Vax and thrust out his hand with a grin large enough to be obvious even in the dark. “Wanna hold hands?”

linger (from What Nightmares May Come, Hogan's Heroes)

“Oh, perfectly, Major,” Klink muttered in an almost defeated tone, resisting the urge to rub his temples. The lingering headache had been small this morning, the inevitable result of a restless night, but Hochstetter excelled in the art of making migraines in other people’s heads grow in a way even Hogan did not.

Thanks again :o)

[ramsaybaggins]

Letters with the Kraken for the tag game please!

So, this one is abandoned mostly because someone else posted their version first and I don't want people to think I'm copying their idea, but it was based on that tumblr post going round about a kid sending letters to an aquarium octopus! The idea was Louis wanted to write to a giant pacific octopus at Ed's aquarium, and Stede adds a little note, and basically Ed and Stede fall in love through these letters. Here's a big excerpt as it's likely I'll never post it

When Ed had pulled on his uniform and slid into work through the employee door that morning, he hadn't expected to find something new in his mailbox. It was a letter addressed to "The Giant Pacific Octopus." He tilted his head as he slipped the flap of the envelope open and pulled out two sheets of paper. The top one was written in what was very obviously the hand of a child, the one behind it was much neater. He dropped down into his office chair and got reading.

"Dear Octopus,

My name is Louis Bonnet, and I really love sea creatures. Do you have a name? I asked my dad if octopuses could read and write because I know you're very clever and he said maybe we should write to one to see, and we found out you live a couple of hours away! What is it like being an octopus? What do you do all day? Do you have any friends?

Thank you!

Louis"

Ed couldn't help but smile as he read through the letter again. It was so sweet, and Ed knew exactly what he was going to do before he even read the other sheet. He crossed his legs on his desk and swapped pages.

"Dear keeper,

My name is Stede and I am Louis' dad. He's really taken with the idea of getting a response, whether it's from you or from the 'octopus'. I'm doing my best to encourage his enthusiasm with his interests, so we would really appreciate a response of some kind if you have the time. I completely understand that you may be too busy! I've enclosed a stamped, addressed envelope so it shouldn't put you out any cost or further inconvenience.

Best wishes,

Stede."

Ed scanned the page again. The writing was neat yet pretty, and the signature at the end had a swooping flourish. This Stede guy seemed like a good dad, it made Ed feel warm.Why not indulge the kid, huh? It was nice to see a parent so involved with their child nowadays, Ed saw too many kids come through the aquarium full of awe and excitement, only to have their bored, huffing parents rush them through all of the exhibits. Sure, it wasn't all of them, but it was enough.

He dropped his feet off of the desk and onto the floor, then opened the top drawer and pulled out a sheet of paper. He picked his favourite blue ballpoint pen and got to work drafting a response.

"Hi Louis,

I can't read or write, but my keeper Ed read me your letter and I wanted to respond. I hope you don't mind if he writes it for me. My name is Kraken and I've been living here for nearly a year! It's great being an octopus, my tentacles are really long and strong so I can cause plenty of mischief in my tank! Sometimes I even squirt Ed when he's walking above me. He usually laughs, so I think he likes it, really. I love watching all the people come past my tank every day, humans are so interesting! What's it like being a human? It must be busy! I do have friends. Ed is my friend, and there are plenty of fish and other creatures in my tank to hang out with. I look forward to your next letter!

Yours,

Kraken."

A separate piece of paper awaited his response to Stede’s note.

"Hello Stede,

I'm the octopus keeper at the aquarium, Ed Teach. I hope the letter I've attached 'from' Kraken is okay, thought it might get the fella excited without giving him wrong info. It was great to get your letters, honestly. Been here a long time and I was starting to wonder if I'd run my course, but asking to be penpals with an octopus? Brilliant. You seem like a good dad, it's nice. Feel free to let Louis keep writing, and I'll keep responding. What age is he? Just so I can make sure I'm replying in an age appropriate style, not too many big words or anything.

Yours,

Ed."

[thrpr0phetuseek]

I can’t really give poetics of thanks to everyone at this moment—communicating and accepting appreciation has always been a struggle—but I’m so incredibly grateful for everyone who has said something and all those who silently think it. I cannot explain how much I love seeing everyone’s stories and interactions. The bonds between characters and the silly chaos that is brewed!

It’s not like I’m leaving any time soon, but I feel there’s ones I just have to point out and people I have to mention just because of how much I adore seeing every little thing they do.

• @the-warrior-of-the-mind’s crazy memory loss and angst management; I love seeing everyone handle your situation differently and I can’t wait till Tir gets to experience it—also the daughter-father bond is soooo cutee!!!!

• @king-of-the-fish and @4mph1r1t3’s marriage and adoption and love for so many other divine and mortal beings. Seriously, watching you guys interact brightens up my day, such the iconic duo.

• @op3n-arms, @frayna-of-the-hollow, @just-a-mer ; gods know whatever I’d do without you guys. Seriously have had some of the best rps with you guys and I’m so glad I get to share all my lore with you guys!!

• @best-dressed-on-mt-olympus the bee allergy made me laugh when it was first introduced and it still makes me smile when I see one of your posts; related or not

• @apollo-god-of--like--everything honestly any rp you do makes me smile uncontrollably; Apollo is such a cool fellow and you play him so well

• @notesbyaphrodite & @the-god-ofwar ; I love seeing you guys just be so sweet to each other, it’s so heartwarming

I’d actually tag everyone I follow probably but I got super embarrassed and socially anxious just now so I’m stopping here 😅💀 just know that even if you weren’t tagged, I love your rps and seeing them makes me super happy!

—

Anyways- love you guys so much more than I could express /p don’t know what I’d do without you guys! I’ll be open for small rps or lore-related asks the end of today, and all of the next three days. On the weekend I’ll check back in and let you guys know how I feel! But thank you so much to everyone who’s been super supportive and reassuring and everyone who has just been vibing [stuck in their bedroom!], every single one of you makes me days SO BRIGHT!

Seriously, don’t know what I’d do without you all.

Anyway, I’ll be back soon enough—I’m not even completely gone now—but I’ll be excited to come back fully ready and open for all the angst that’ll come with whatever you guys plan and the probably-gonna-max-be-three-things that Tir forgot! No spoilers! /silly

P.S. thanks mod ^ who reblogged this, you’re really so kind. I love seeing your notifs all the time, especially when you interact with the crazy teen-god rps! Lots of cool stuff =D

♡ • *head kiss* You seem like you need one.

[ smiles ]

“Thank you. You have no idea how much that helps.”

—

ooc ~ I’ve had waaayy too many mental breakdowns today and it’s been healthy and refreshing and stuff but like- I have not been able to respond to any rps I have had today and istgs seeing yours just felt like a weight lifted. Like, it’s not overbearing or asking me to put much thought. Just a simple “hi, love ya, hope you’re doing okay, bye” kind of rp. One that’s calm and comforting and warm. That’s exactly what I need today; so many mental/emotional/physical battles and I’m afraid I haven’t quite won any

also to any of those said rpers seeing this, o swear I didn’t abandon you, I just could not and can not pull myself together rn. I’ve been crying for hours. I’ll be better eventually I think, I just can’t do the large rps rn. That being said, if anyone wants to start non-complicated, easy-going, lightweight ones, I’m open for that, I’ll just be on and off my phone bcz stress is manifesting physically rn.

I’m reading the Odyssey and writing annotations and feeling a little better, I hope this explains today simply and sorry Aph for using your post as an explanation, just didn’t quite know how to respond or when to explain 😅

but yeah, hope none of that was too complicated to understand; I’m good with words in rp, I suck at communicating things irl/ooc

[christinesficrecs]

Anon asked:

Christine! Have you been reading any new Sterek fanfic lately? Do you have recs for fics posted or updated in the last year or so?

Here are the fics I’ve read recently. Some of them are new’ish. Also, check the fic rec friday tag for other great random fics. ❤️

The Lure of Gold by Dexterous_Sinistrous | 25.7K | WIP

Derek’s breath caught when he saw the gold flare in Stiles’ eyes.

There was something deeper in Stiles’ eyes than Derek had seen before—like the golden flicker of a lure, tempting a fish. And it nearly unnerved him.

Like the tale of the siren beckoning the sailor to the rocks, a fool hearted man who agreed too quickly to follow the sweet melody at the price of embracing death. Derek believed that to be a curse, once.

But would death greet such a foolish man if the siren truly wanted him?

and you are the only one, my everything by EvanesDust | 10.9K

Stiles is gay and in love with his best friend, Derek.

Derek is straight. He thought Stiles was, too, but then he walks in on Stiles with a guy and—holy shit!—maybe he's not so straight after all.

Stiles Stilinski's Epic Garage Band Experiment by DiscontentedWinter | 1.1K

“No,” says Dad when Stiles brings home the drum kit from the garage sale down the street. “No, no, no, no, no.”

I Wonder (Whatever Could It Be?) by MadcapRomantic | 10.5K | Explicit

Derek Hale works for the FBI. Intern Stiles Stilinski has moved departments twice, neither at his own request, and Derek is dreading dealing with him.

That is, until he gets a whiff of the kid...

Blindsided by AClosedFicIsNeverRead | 39.6K | Explicit

Derek exhaled tremulously and tried to stay calm. He called several more times, growing steadily more frantic each time, before allowing the truth to settle in: Stiles’ phone was off. “No. No, no, no, please, no,” Derek whispered to himself, barely able to see the screen through his tearful eyes. What had he done? Had he been so blinded by rage that he dismissed Stiles' call for help?

The Stilinski Method by Gia279 | 6.3K

In which Derek thinks he's in a meet cute, and Stiles thinks he's in a paranormal mystery. They're both smitten.

To Have Outlived the Night by stillane | 23.4K | Mature

Derek steps away from the window. “You helped me. They took that as a declaration.”

A Princely Knight by Dexterous_Sinistrous | 25.1K | Mature

He would stand by Stiles’ side, a constant shadow of protection until his death. A life for a life, one worth much more than an orphan turned thief turned royal guard could comprehend. In truth, Derek saw the one person he would gladly give his life for, because Stiles made this world better.

Cookies, coffee and shut the fucupcakes by DropsOfAddiction | 26.2K | Explicit

“Ok. I’ve got a few shirts with me because I came here straight from work, but I think it’s going to be a tight fit. I know I’m not as skinny as I used to be but I’m not exactly the same hunky physique as you, oh grand macho werewolf,” Stiles shrugs.

Derek runs his eyes blatantly over Stiles’ chest.

“I’m not so sure about that,” Derek mutters, and he slams his mouth shut, teeth audibly clacking together, as if he really hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

Stiles flushes but he heads upstairs to grab Derek a spare dark shirt. When he gets back to the kitchen, Derek’s already shed his dirty shirt and he’s helping himself to Stiles’ half empty mug of coffee, neck thrown back as he drinks.

Stiles literally looks to the heavens because he must have done something really good in a past life to be awarded with the sight of Derek Hale’s naked, very firm, slightly hairy torso parading around his dad’s kitchen before eleven in the morning.

Drinking his coffee. Stiles’ mouth had just been on that mug. Right where Derek’s mouth is.

By elementary school rules of dating (ie sharing a bottle, your mouth touching where someone else’s mouth was just touching, sharing cooties) they’re now married.

Fault Line by MadcapRomantic | 11.8K | Explicit

When Derek comes to, his head hurts.

No, hurts is the wrong word. It's not strong enough. His head feels like it's being split in two, down the middle. His ears are ringing, and his vision is blurred.

But despite it all, strong and crisp and clear, is the underlying scent of home, pack, and mate.

What It Takes To Not Be Broken by Whispering_Sumire | 17.4K | Mature

He's pretty sure Death is nipping at his heels at this point.

But he has to stay awake, has to keep Gerard away from Erica and Boyd, the two Betas still tied up with mountain ash and electricity on the other side of the room, and it looks like they're trying to scream through their duct-tape, still, but he can't hear it, not anymore.

The terrible, all-consuming, staticky silence had over taken him after about the third time Gerard's lackey- Ben, he thinks his name was- had stuck a military grade taser to his ear, a low enough voltage not to cause brain damage, he'd said, because the point of this was for him to talk.

it's obvious, you're oblivious by EvanesDust | 14.8K | Explicit

Derek’s new roommate is alpha bait but seems disinterested in everyone—especially Derek.

Stiles is suddenly popular, but can't seem to catch the interest of the only alpha he actually likes.

...or the one where Stiles and Derek get paired together in room assignments and are secretly in love with the other.

[stupid-hoe-shit]

hii, can u write another luffy smut? (also fluffy) i just felt that ur write w him is very accurate!!

In love with the feeling

luffy x fem! reader

- fandom -> one piece

- word count -> 2,725

- tags -> monkey d. luffy, monkey d. luffy/reader, vinsmoke sanji, mutual pining, established relationship, first-time blow jobs, first time, blow jobs, face-sitting, cunnilingus, porn with plot, porn with feelings, cowgirl position, teasing, fluff.

- ao3 link -> https://archiveofourown.org/works/37239892

-> i'm so sorry for not posting. hopefully, this will make up for it lol. thank you for requesting!! i made luffy extra needy in this one😉enjoy and let me know what you think!!

______________________________________________________

“Please! Just one bite!”, Luffy begs as Sanji gives you a cupcake.

“No Luffy! This is for her!”, Sanji yells. “Here you go, sweetheart”.

“Thank you, Sanji.” You say with a blush. You never got used to the attention Sanji would give you. He would always say sweet words and call you nice names. You couldn’t help but feel flattered.

Luffy pouts as you take a bite. You hum at the sweetest of the cupcake, making Luffy even more upset. As Sanji walks away, you look at Luffy with a sneaky look. You watch as Luffy sits there, grumpy.

“Hey, Luffy,” you whisper, trying to get his attention.

He points at himself, then looks behind him to see if you were talking to anyone else, even if you said his name.

“Yes, Luffy, I’m talking to you”, He walks over, wondering why you called him over. You hold out the rest of your cupcake for him, asking him to take it. He has hearts-for-eyes looking at the cupcake, staring at it with love. He grabs it and immediately shoved it into his mouth, loving the sweet taste of it.

“Thank you so much!”, he says with a big smile, “You’re the best!” he shouts.

You’ve had a thing for Luffy for a while now. You couldn’t help but have a soft spot for him. His determined eyes every time he seems an enemy, the way his smile lights up the whole room, everything. The crush you have on him has been innocent. Staring at him longer, blushing if he compliments you, etc. He has a way of sending butterflies to your stomach like no one has ever before.

Your heart flutters at his smile as you smile back. Suddenly, Usopp and Chopper call him over to fish. He smiles at you one more time before going over to them.

The moon shines in the dark, stars scattering throughout the sky. You watch the moonlight as it reflects upon the dark ocean water, cascading onto the ship.

Luffy watches you from afar as you sit on the edge of the deck. Your face is lit up by the moon, smiling up at the sky. You have always told the crew how much you love the stars and the moon. However, Luffy didn’t quite understand why. You told him something along the lines of ‘beautiful things are meant to be admired’. He didn’t quite understand when you first said it. But now…yeah, he gets it’s.

He understands because he’s looking at you.

His chest tightens and his stomach flutters. For the first time in a while, Luffy blushes. He stands there, eyes wide, mouth agape. He hasn’t really thought about you like this before. Hell, he hasn’t thought about anyone like this before. He doesn’t understand. He wants to hold you by your face, look at you in the eyes and tell you that you’re beautiful.

You hear footsteps approaching you as you watch stars. Before you can turn around, Luffy is grabbing you by your face, staring you straight in the eyes. He is inches away from your face, making your face hot. Your eyes are wide, shocked about the position you are in with your captain.

"You're beautiful," he says with his innocent tone. You audibly gasp. Luffy, the guy who has the attention span of a goldfish, called you beautiful. And you absolutely loved it.

You smile at him with hooded eyes, "Luffy...you're beautiful too", you tell him. He straightens his back, now sporting an intense blush. You have never seen your captain flustered before, let alone for you. Luffy slowly starts to form his signature wide smile, and giggles. Before he can say anything, you move in kiss his cheek. He stares in disbelief as you walk away, heading to your bedroom.

This was just the start...

——————————————————————————

After that night, you guys considered yourself a couple. It's been a couple of months since that night and everything is going better you could have imagined. You didn't even think Luffy knew how to be a boyfriend. But, surprisingly, he's a pretty good partner. Is he embarrassing in front of the crew? Sure. Does he choose food over you? Sometimes. But you make each other happy, and that's all that matters.

Right now you are cuddling in his room. His arms are wrapped around you tightly as he snores. As you try to fall asleep, however, you feel something poking at your back. You wiggle your hips to investigate but all you get is a groan from Luffy. He wakes up, upset.

"Hey! Why are moving around so much! I was having a good dream...", he complains.

"Luffy, you're poking me."

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are!", you wiggle your hips once more, trying to show him where. However, once he realizes, he goes silent.

"Uhh...Luffy...?", you call out. You turn around to see his face bright red, eyes wide. You inspect further, looking at his body language. He looks stiff, almost uncomfortable. As you look further, you see something poking in his pants. The material of his pants is being pulled, making it obvious that he has a boner.

You and Luffy haven't done anything sexual. The farthest you have gotten was making out. You haven't even had the conversation yet. Sure you make jokes about it. However, it always goes over his head. Of course, you have thought about it. But you didn't think Luffy would be the type of person to even have sex. He seemed too focused on his dreams so you never brought it up.

In actuality, it was quite the opposite. Luffy's dreams of becoming king of the pirates will always be his top priority. But, he's a guy. And you know what guys are? Horny.

Luffy thinks about you sexually a lot. Like, a lot a lot. He never really thought about it before until he had a dream about you. It started off innocent, just you and him cuddling. Then, all of the sudden, you were on your knees sucking him off as he played with your hair. After that day, he couldn't stop thinking about you. He wanted to ask you, but the last thing he would ever want to do was make you uncomfortable. Also, he's content with just thinking about it. He doesn't really mind.

But he just couldn't help himself but think about you lying next to him. He couldn't help but just think about that dream again. He wanted to make it a reality.

"Luffy...are you hard?" you ask, your face burning up out of embarrassment

"Um, maybe?" he responds. You raise your eyebrow at his answer. Maybe? To a yes or no question? C'mon Luffy. However, he quickly gives in.

"Okay, okay! Yes, I am. But it was an accident, okay? I'm sorry." he says. You don't blame him, obviously. He couldn't control it. You just weren't expecting a tent in his pants.

"...well...do you...need help with it?" you ask before you can even think. You can't believe the words that leave your mouth.

“Yes”, he says as soon as the words leave your mouth. You turn over completely, facing him. You hesitantly kiss him, your lips clashing together. He moans into your mouth shamelessly, raking his hands in your hair. You break the kiss and move on top of him, straddling his waist. He feels the heat from your cunt on his cock and grabs both your thighs with his hands, stabilizing himself.

"Luffy I didn't know you were so...sensitive", you say, looking at him with a smirk. He grinds into you, unable to stop his hips from rutting. You whine at the feeling of his hard cock brushing against your clit.

"Mmm, please...just... do something!", he whines. You give in, moving your body downwards so that you are looking up at him with your face near his cock. You slowly unbutton his pants, pulling down his boxers with it. His cock flings out of his pants, precum dripping from his tip. It wasn't small, that's for sure. You couldn't help but lick your lips at the way the veins on his cock throbbed with need. Luffy let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

You grab the base of it while watching Luffy, looking for a reaction. Even the smallest touch of your fingertips has him writhing. He couldn't help it. The way your small hand looked wrapped around him made him dizzy, the feeling in his gut intensifying. You stroked him up and down, looking at the way his precum just slips out of his tip and onto your hand. His heavy breathing and whines were all that took up your brain as your mouth made its way to his tip. As soon as your tongue hits his tip, he moans, grabbing the bedsheets. You suck on his tip, bobbing your head up and down.

"Yes, that feels so good", he praises, "Please go faster, please," he begged, chasing his release. You did as he said; since he asked oh-so nicely. As you quicken your pace, you also move your head down deeper, going as far as you can.

Luffy whines, "Yes, yes, oh my god, yes". His heavy breathing quickly becomes pants as you run your tongue on the underside of his cock. The sounds from him go straight to your core, soaking your underwear.

"I think- I'm- gonna cum!", he exclaims. You look each other in the eyes as he waits for you to move. However, you don't. In fact, you go deeper, wanting to feel his cum go down your throat. His eyes widen, realizing you want him to cum in your mouth, to swallow it all. It's this thought that has him cumming. His back is arching off the bed, his head tilted back, hands gripping the bedsheets as hard as he can.

You take your mouth off of him slowly, letting his cock fall limp. You look up to see him with a blissful smile. Luffy suddenly looks at you and says,

“Your turn!”

…Huh?!

“But, Luffy, this was about you,” you reason.

“Okay, well…now it’s about you!”, he says with his signature smile. Before you can react he’s sitting up, grabbing your arm and waist and situating you onto his chest.

“Lu-Luffy…are you sure?”, you gulp.

“Yes! Now come on!”

You hesitantly get off his chest and take off your shorts. As you do, you feel his stare on you. No shame, no embarrassment, just pure lust. You put your legs around his head, your pussy right above his hungry mouth. Luffy hums.

“There’s a wet spot.”

“Luffy!“, you cry out. You are about to die of embarrassment and nothing has even happened yet. He chuckles and loves your panties to the side to expose your wet, pretty cunt.

He put his hands on the back of your thighs and the feeling has you shivering. His warm fingers against your skin have you forcefully shutting your mouth to not let any noise out.

He tentatively licks against your underwear, his tongue bumping against your clit. You whimper, falling forward and catching yourself against the bed.

He continues to lick just like that. Soft, almost gentle. You let whines unintentionally, but you're slowly losing your will to care. He grips your thighs harder when your head falls back, moaning into your cunt. This sends a wave of vibration through your clit, like a shock of electricity.

“Oh my god, Luffy”, you breathe out. He continues to laugh at your reactions, having the time of his life watching you fall apart. But, he wants more. And if Luffy wants something, he gets it.

He puts his mouth around your clit and sucks.

Your eyes open wide as you moan into your hand, covering the noises. He hums onto your clit, sending more shockwaves through your body. He lets go of your clit, catching his breath.

“You look so pretty,” he says as he put his mouth right back onto your cunt. You whine, grabbing his hair and shoving his face closer to your pussy. You have never been this wet before. The way his tongue swipes across your clit has your head spinning, and soon enough, you're about to cum.

“Luffy, I- 'm cumming!” Your confession makes him go faster, moving his tongue in every direction. You throw your head back as you cum, the knot snapping inside of you.

Luffy can’t look away. The face your make, the noise you make, the noises your pussy makes, god. It's just too much for him to handle. He’s now rock hard again as you cum, swallowing it all. As you come down from your high, you move off of his face and onto his chest. You see your slick all over his face, making you even more embarrassed.

You lean down and kiss him, both of you smiling. Your taste yourself in his mouth as you swipe your tongue across his lips. You separate your lips and smile at him. However, Luffy seems to avoid eye contact with you again.

“What’s wrong Luffy?” you ask, nervous that you upset him in some way.

“…I’m hard again…”, he confesses. He thought you would be upset, however, you just laugh.

“Do you… need my help again?” You look at him in a way that makes him rut his hips. Your eyes, your smirk, everything.

“Yes,” he quickly responds.

You move your body down, shimming until you’re at his cock. Your rock your hips back and forth, dragging your pussy across his cock, teasing him. He moans, gripping the sheets.

He can’t wait any longer. He just can’t. Your warm cunt right above his cock, sliding in-between your folds.

“Put- put it in,” he stutters breathlessly.

“What do we say?” you tease. You can’t help it. The way he looks right now is something right out of porn. He looks so…needy.

“Please?” he whines, wanting, no, needing your pussy. Your face heats up at his begging, not expecting him, your captain, to beg for you.

You give him what he wants- and what you want too- by sinking down on his cock. The tips just slide in as you both gasp. The stretch is painful but good. So good that you sit

|completely down on his cock.

Luffy is in love. With you or the feeling? He isn’t sure. What he does know, however, is that he needs more.

He quickly grabs the back of your thighs, lifts up your hips, and starts going slow. His cock hits the spot that has your eyes rolling back.

“Lu- Luff- y,” you stammer out his name, “fe-feels so-o good.”

Hearing you choke out his name like that has him thrusting faster, pounding into you so fast you feel like you are about to break. The way your walls are fluttering against him has his cock throbbing.

“You feel so good around me like this,” he groans. He watches the way your breasts bounce in your shirt. He moves one of his hands under your shirt and gropes your breast. You moan at the feeling of his rough hands against your soft skin, his fingers brushing against your nipple.

“Luf- Luffy, I’m gonna- gonna cum!” You warn him. Your cunt clamps down on him, feeling so utterly full.

He brings the hand on your breast down to your clit, rubbing it back and forth. You cum, covering your mouth with your hand to hide your moans. Luffy cums shortly after, filling you up. It leaks out of your pussy, spilling all over your thighs.

You lay together, catching your breath. Your head lies in between in his neck, breathing in his scent and watching the sweat fall from his forehead and along his neck.

“Can we…do it again? Another time?” Luffy asks, looking in your eyes with hope. He’s basically bouncing up and down with excitement.

“I’d like that very much, Luffy,” you say smiling.

After you both clean up and head to bed, you cuddle, as you do every night. However, you feel Luffy clinging to you like a dog, his boner poking you in the back again. You can already tell this Is going to become a daily thing, but you’re not complaining.

——————————————————————————

[marcyyss]

' Summer Romance '

Bruce Yamada x Reader

I took this idea from a hc post, i dont remember the person's user so pls if u know it tag them :(

Summary: you and Bruce always go to the same summer camp, and since then you two are best friends! You guys know that you like each other but never make a move, till one summer

Today was the most waited day for you, it was the first day of summer camp and you get to see Bruce once again!

You were waiting for Bruce's car in the enter of the camp, you were nervous because your friends told you to confess to him this summer, you were always talking about him, his eyes, his smile, his hair and how much you missed him

As you were daydreaming about him, you heard a car parking close so you turned to that car and you saw the most handsome, cute, pretty and adorable boy of all time " Bruce Yamada " looking at you with a big smile, as always so you run to him and give him a big hug

— " Bruce, i missed you so much! "

— " I missed you too y/n! How are you? "

— " Im great of course, because im with youuu "

— " Haha stop it, my parents are here "

Bruce said goodbye to his parents and they left.

— " I love your parents, they are so sweet.. not like you "

— " I never saw YOUR parents tho "

— " They dont like you "

— " My in-laws dont like me?! "

It was a common joke between you two, everyone thought that you and Bruce were a couple so you let them think that because its funny

— " I dont like you either, next summer im going to stop going here and leaving you ALL alone "

— " Finally, a peaceful summer "

— " So Bruce.. We should get inside right? "

— " Sure, lets see what "FUN" activities we get this year "

You two enter the camp, it is a nice place, nature, friends, adults that they are supposed to be helpful but they arent.

Actually you guys are "famous" there, everyone know you two, and you know everyone

— " I always thought thag i will be super lonely here and everyone will hate me "

You said, randomly as always

— " Yeah, i know, but little silly me talked to you so now i have to stand you all summer. "

— " YEAH BUT, you love me, your parents love me, now kiss me Brucyyy~ "

— " BRUCY?! Thats the best nickname you could think of? "

— " Duh, what kind of name is Bruce anyways? I cant think of anything else "

— " DONT YOU DARE MAKE FUN OF MY NAME. "

You and Bruce were either the BEST team in the activities or rivals who wants the other to lose.

Like in some activitie which you and other person had one of ur feet tied together and you had to go to the finish line first to win!

You and your partner fall, and Bruce and his partner won. Of course you said that Bruce pushed you but he did not ( or he did?.. )

And in a fishing activie, you two were in the same team and the camp had fish to eat for a whole week

The part that you two enjoyed the most was sleeping time, you and Bruce sneak out of the cabins and go for a walk by the lake, its like a rutine of everyday, breakfast, activities, lunch, rest, activities, dinner, and walk by the lake

— " So.. This girl Penny looked at you with love eyes "

— " I kissed her last year, totally not worth it "

— " Maybe she got better in kissing? "

— " Maybe she didn't? I dont want to kiss her again, im traumatized for last time "

— " HAH, its not worse then when i had to kiss JAKE "

— " I Can't believe that you actually did it. "

— " I wasn't going to lose truth or dare "

— " Surprised that no one asked us to kiss tho "

— " Awww Brucyyy do you want to kiss meeee? "

— " Yeah. No. "

— " You are diying to kiss my lips mua muaaa "

time passes and you two sit near the lake

— " Im so exhausted, doing activities and games all day is tiring "

Bruce said, as he lays down on the floor

— " Yeah, i know, its kinda fun tho.. "

— " Of course it its, its fun spending time with you and beating you on games "

— " You know im the best "

— " Yeah sure y/n, I AM the best "

— " You know Bruce? I always liked you "

— " Ugh, disgusting "

— " You are disgusting! "

— " Yeah, i like you too "

— " Damn, i guess i should kiss your ugly and disgusting face now MMWAAAAK "

You grabbed his face and kissed him

— " Ew, so disgusting, you are a worst kisser then Penny "

— " Shut up. "

Agggg i love Bruce

[heythere-mel]

Drunk In Love

Frankie Morales x f!reader

W/C: 1.8K+

Warnings: Language, Friends to lovers? F L U F F 🤍

Summary: A little liquid courage reveals some big secrets.

A/N: So I was tagged in a post with a possible prompt idea and I couldn’t let it go so here’s my little twist on it. (Prompt will be in red yall!) Thank you @kteague and @icanbeyourjedi both for your endless support, ilysm! Likes, reblogs, any love appreciated. Enjoy!! 💜💜

——-

“Has anyone seen Frankie?”

“Upstairs in Ben’s room I think. That liquor is finally starting to hit him.” Will snickers as he throws a few more beer cans into the trash bag.

Tonight was all about celebrating Benny’s huge win during his latest fight. A total underdog going in, he had crushed the competition which ultimately called for a celebration. Everyone had stopped by at various times throughout the night except one person. The only person Frankie longed to see and talk to. They all knew your work had been hectic lately and the chances of you coming out were slim, but Frankie held on to that slight glimmer of hope with every passing guest through the door.

“Come have a shot with us Fish!”

“Yeah! She would want you to be having fun!” Benny called out.

The guys loved teasing him about his growing crush on you. Knowing he was too chickenshit to actually say anything, with or without you here.

“Very funny cabrón. Just give me the damn drink.” That was nearly a few hours ago.

Santi took the steps two at a time until he came upon Benny’s rec room. It was a work in progress but the essentials were there. Including a new giant plush beanbag chair that had become a favorite amongst the grown men. Benny and Frankie always fighting over whom would be able to lounge on it during get togethers. He was slumped deep into the cushion with his phone above his head completely entranced by the screen.

“What ya lookin at there Fish?”

“Hmm,” he looks over at Santiago with eyes half lidded and a bashful grin. He’s seen that look from his best friend before. Frankie is definitely feeling good.

“Wait, is that?...”

“Yeahhhh,” he lovingly sighs, followed by a small hiccup. “Isn’t she just the most beautiful girl in the world?” turning his phone more towards him. Frankie had been going through a hidden photo album when Santi walked in. It was a little something he had put together for particular moments like this. Moments when he was just simply missing you. The picture was from the state fair a few months back. You had on your favorite yellow sundress and signature white sneakers. ‘Cute yet casual’ he remembers you saying. You were fully enveloped in some cotton candy when he snuck the picture. The web of sticky sweet treat making you giggle as it hit your tongue, changing it to a bright shade of pink. He had never seen something so pure in his whole life.

Santi watched as his friend gushed over the photo. If heart eyes were real, Frankie’s would be their poster child.

“You really like her, don’t you?”

“No, Santiago. I love her.”

Santi’s eyes widen at his friends direct admission. His own shit-eating grin creeping on to his face. FINALLY he thought. He knew Frankie was a little tipsy right now but from the way he, along with everyone else in the group, had seen the two of you dancing around each other it was about time someone admits it. Plus, you know what they say; the only people to ever tell the truth are children and drunks.

“You should tell her man!”

Frankie’s head snaps in his direction as if it were so obvious.

“You’re right hermano! I gotta tell her!”

Frankie stumbles with his phone, the device looking smaller in his big hands as he begins to smash out a text to you.

——-

You didn’t know how long you were out but by the small amount of drool starting to gather and make its way down your face you would assume it had been a while. You had dozed off at your laptop. Knowing your friends were all having fun without you while you prepped the last PowerPoint for your huge project at work was in hindsight a little sad, but as of tomorrow afternoon you too could properly celebrate. You had been so busy with work lately, there hadn’t been a chance to see or spend time with any of your boys. You missed the rowdiness. You missed him. You knew you shouldn’t be thinking of your friend in this way but the idea of Frankie’s warm embrace was enough to send you into a blissful sleep, that is until your phone startled you awake. Slowly perking up when you saw it was an incoming text from him.

Mi cielo! You awake?

You look at the time on your phone. It was almost 1am. Before you could answer, another text comes in.

It’s late of course you’re not…

Busy workin. Now sleeping. My beautiful brainy girl.

Your face flushes at the endearment. Say something!

Frankie! Hi! I’m awake. Are you okay? It’s late. Did you make it home?

Cielito! Better now that I’m talking to you. This party’s lame cause you’re not here.

Hahah I’m gonna tell Benny you called his party lame.

I’ll tell him myself! LAME. BENJAMIN. 😎

I miss you guys! I’m sorry I couldn’t come out tonight. Tomorrow though! I’m gonna need a drink or two!

Baby I’ll buy you ALLLLL the drinks! 🍹🍻🥂

I’m holding you to that Morales! Oh, did you need a ride home or anything? I’m guessing YOU’VE had a few? 😉 Lol

It was late and you were still willing to come for him. The gesture alone solidified his next actions. Just go for it Francisco!

Always caring for me. Someone should care for you…

And who do you suggest that be?…

ME OBVIOUSLY. Always cared for you.

Know why I call you mi cielo? Cause you’re my sky, my heaven on earth, my everything.

I’m sorry. Santi said I talk too much. I don’t care tho. My love, I am intoxicated, but I just wanted you to know…my real feelings.

You were at a loss for words. How do you respond to that? You see the bubbles start to form on the screen, anticipating what he may say next. He seems to be writing forever but they stop. No indication of a new text coming in and that sinking feeling hits you like a truck. Did one of your best friends and the man you were harboring a huge crush on really just say all that? Was any of it true? Or just drunk talk?

——-

“ …so amazing. wanna marry you one day, make all the babies. We’d have fun with that part 😉 travel the world I CAN FLY US and just everything with you…” Frankie slightly slurs out as he types away.

“WHOAAA HOLD ON FISH!” Pope snatches Frankie’s phone from him, quickly erasing everything he just wrote out to you.

“Look, I’m glad you’re coming to your senses but if you text her all this, instead of telling her in person, she’ll never believe you. Plus, it’s late and you’re a bit drunk.”

“But I love her even when I’m not drunk!”

Santi barked out a laugh at the serious look on his friends face.

“I know buddy, but you’ll thank me later. Here, look at these pictures of her for right now.” Santi pulled up your Instagram account to the photos from your birthday hike. It was you and all the guys, the accompanying pictures in the post were of an individual photo with each of them. Frankie scrolls to the one of you and him. His arm around your waist and yours around his neck as you posed cheek to cheek. This one was a favorite of his and also in his secret album. He zooms in to your face and kisses his screen.

“Goodnight cariño.” Frankie whispers as he shuts his eyes. The soft beanbag hugging him as he drifts off to the photo still being displayed on his phone. Santi sees this as the perfect opportunity to snap a picture and send it to you, knowing you’re probably wondering what the hell was actually going on.

——-

It has been about twenty minutes now and not another word from Frankie. You had moved to your bed to try and get some sleep but it was useless. Should I call him? No this isn’t an over the phone conversation. Ugh just another thing to overthink tonight. You toss and turn trying to get comfortable when your phone on the nightstand lights up.

“Pope: 1 Attachment”

You quickly unlock your phone to a picture of Frankie curled up as best as possible on the beanbag chair. You let out a small snicker when a message pops up:

As you probably know, our Fish is a little outta it. I remember my first drink lol but in all honesty, everything he told you tonight is true. I don’t mean to spill his secrets but the man adores you. As you see from the attached picture, he fell asleep with your photo pulled up on his phone. I’m also keeping the picture I took for future clowning opportunities. It’ll make a great story at your wedding 😏 okay goodnight!

You sat in bed on the verge of happy tears. Texting one final thing back:

Make sure he gets to a proper bed please. You know how his back is.

——-

Despite getting only a few hours of sleep, you managed to get through your presentation at work and killing it. You decided after to cut the day short and surprise Frankie. You pulled up to the Miller’s place and let yourself in, running into Santiago in the process.

“Hi there!” he says to you in a playful voice.

“Hi Santi. Ummm, is Frankie still..?”

“Yeah, lover boy is still passed out in Ben’s room. Go wake his ass up. You’re the only person he probably wouldn’t yell at for disturbing his beauty sleep, el borracho.”

——-

Opening the door as quietly as possible, you find Frankie still sound asleep. Walking over to him, you find enough space to sit down on the bed next to him. He looks so peaceful, the curls from his now longer hair look just as soft as they are wild. You take the opportunity to run your fingers through them, sweeping a rogue strand from his forehead. He inhales sharply at your touch, slowly opening his eyes while leaning into you.

“Cielo, hi.”

“Hi Francisco.”

“I’m not dreaming am I?”

“No hermoso, it’s me. I’m really here.”

“About last night…”

“Did you mean it?...”

The eye contact between you is consuming. Your heart strumming erratically from the look he is giving you.

“Every word.”

Frankie doesn’t overthink it, pulling you down to him in the most passionate kiss, pouring every thought and feeling he’s wanted to convey to you since you’d first met. Your head is spinning from the euphoric rush of finally feeling those plush lips against yours. You giggle as you start to pull back, not before he peppers your face with sweet little pecks.

“You have room under here for me? A sweet, yet drunk dork kept me up late last night and I could use a little nap.”

“For you mi cielo, always.”

[kipscorner]

-- Anything in parentheses (abc) feel free to delete! -- Anything in square brackets [abc] feel free to change! -- This is a long post, so please remember to tag “long post tw” or some kind of varient of the sort so you don’t clog mobile users dashes/people who don’t have “shorten posts.” turned on! :D

“Doesn't this seem like a bit much?”

“This is what Christmas is all about! Can't you feel it?”

“You guys, where are we? I think we should go back.”

“Serves them right, those Yuletide-loving sickly-sweet, nog-sucking cheer mongers!”

“I really don't like them. No, I don't.”

“I've been much too tolerant of these (Whovenile) delinquents and their innocent, victimless pranks.”

“So, they want to get to know me, do they?”

“I guess I could use a little social interaction.”

“Yeah, you bet. Ho, ho, ho, and stuff…”

“You see, [name]? The city is a dangerous place.”

“Now, please, don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.”

“Well, it's just, I look around at you and [Mom] and everyone getting all kerbobbled. Doesn't this seem...superfluous?”

“I think they were up on the mountain playing with matches, or defacing public property, or....”

“Take a look at his mailbox, (sweetie). Not a single Christmas card, in or out… Ever!”

“And for the rest of you: Jury duty! Jury duty! Jury duty! Blackmail. Pink slip. Chain letter. Eviction notice. Jury duty!”

“Well, that worked out nicely.”

“[Max], let's go. Our work here is finished.”

“Don't you know you shouldn't take things that don't belong to you? What's your problem? Are you a wild animal?”

“Saving you? Is that what you think I was doing? Wrong-o.”

“You've been practicing your Christmas wrapping! I am so proud of you.”

“My, I've never seen so many beautiful Christmas lights, [Betty Lou!]”

“It's handcrafted and almost 100 years old.”

“Come on, hurry up, Slowpoke.”

“What's that stench? It's fantastic!”

“One man's toxic sludge is another man's potpourri.”

“Did Christmas change or just me?"

“First floor, factory rejects.”

“But we did our worst. And that's all that matters.”

“At least I scared the bejeebles out of that little [girl] at the post office. [She]'ll be scarred for life, if we're lucky.”

“Funny she didn't rat on us, though. Must be afraid of reprisals.”

“If you utter so much as one syllable I'll hunt you down and gut you like a fish!”

“I've got all the company I need right here.”

“I'm an idiot!”

“You're an idiot!”

“Am I just eating because I'm bored?”

“In your own words, please tell me everything you know about [the Grinch.]”

“Hey, honey, our baby is here! He looks just like your boss.”

“It was Christmas Eve, and a strange wind blew that night.”

“Do you want a Christmas cookie?”

“Don't forget, tomorrow is our big Christmas gift exchange.Everyone bring a special gift for a special someone.”

“You don't have a chance with [her].”

“It was a horrible day when they were so cruel to [him]. And I could hardly bear it.”

“And that was the last time we ever saw [him]. The very last time.”

“I hate you.Hate, hate, hate. Hate, hate, hate. Double hate. Loathe entirely!”

“Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!”

“I may do something drastic.”

“You made that up! It doesn't say that.”

“But the book does say: The cheer-meister is the one who deserves a back slap or a toast. And it goes to the soul at Christmas who needs it most."

“Blast this Christmas music. It's joyful and triumphant.”

“The impudence! The audacity! The unmitigated gall!”

“You called down the thunder now, get ready for the boom!”

“Gaze into the face of fear!”

“You see? Even now the terror is welling up inside you.”

“Run for your life before I kill again!”

“Maybe you need a time-out.”

“Kids today. So desensitized by movies and television.”

“"Holiday Whobie-what-y"?”

“I know you hate Christmas, but what if it's all just a misunderstanding?”

“I myself am having some Yuletide doubts.”

“Award? You never mentioned an award!”

“Was anyone emotionally shattered?”

“Come on, a minute ago I couldn't shut you up! Details, details!”

“I don't know if it's that adorable twinkle in your eye or that nonconformist streak that reminds me of a younger, less hairy me.”

“Who knows? This Whobilation could change my entire outlook on life!”

“You can make snow angels later.”

“The nerve of those (Whos). Inviting me down there on such short notice. Even if I wanted to go, my schedule wouldn't allow it.”

“4:00, wallow in self-pity. 4:30, stare into the abyss. 5:00, solve world hunger tell no one. 5:30, jazzercise. 6:30, dinner with me… I can't cancel that again. 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing… I'm booked! If I bumped the loathing to 9:00, I'd have time to lay in bed stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness.”

“It's not a dress, it's a kilt! Sicko!”

“This is ridiculous. If I can't find something nice to wear, I'm not going! That's it, I'm not going.”

“Ohh, ahh, mmm… That's it, I'm not going.”

“[He] isn't here. What? [He] didn't show? Who could have predicted this?

“All right. I'll swing by for a minute, allow them to envy me grab a handful of popcorn shrimp, and blow out of there.”

“But what if it's a cruel prank? What if it's a cash bar? How dare they!”

“All right, I'll go. But I'll be fashionably late.”

“All right. I've made my decision! I'm going, and that's that!”

“Come on, while I'm young!”

“But first, a little family reunion.”

“Are you two still living?”

“Sweater? What are you talkin' about? No, I can't! I can't do that!”

“No. I can't do it, honestly. I'm not ready. It's too much, too soon!”

“I've got a lawyer. There'll be hell to pay!”

“Look at the time. I really should be getting back.”

“Bring it on! Is that all you got? Is that all you got? Come on!”

“That's what it's all about, isn't it? That's what it's always been about!”

“Look, I don't want to make waves, but this whole Christmas season is stupid, stupid, stupid!”

“There is, however one teeny-tiny Christmas tradition I find quite meaningful. Mistletoe.”

“Burn, baby! Burn!”

“Evening, folks. Mind if I ride along? You might want to scooch over.”

“You fellas all right? How about a nice hat?”

“I'm hurt, [Lou]. I'm hurt, and I don't hurt easily.”

“But you and your family.... I'm so disappointed.”

“I just wanted everybody to be together for Christmas.”

“Suffering snorkelblatz! They're relentless!”

“Oh, no. I'm speaking in rhyme!”

“I must stop this whole thing. Why for year after year I've put up with it now.”

“Are you having a holly, jolly Christmas? Wrong-o!”

“If you're not going to help me then you might as well…”

“You're as cuddly as a cactus and as charming as an eel.”

“Just face the music, you're a monster.”

“Your heart's an empty hole.”

“I asked for three-quarters, not five-eighths. Stay focused!”

“Air bag is a little slow. But that's what these tests are for!”

“Talk about a recluse. He only comes out once a year, and he never catches any flak for it!”

“Probably lives up there to avoid the taxes.”

“No, forget that part. We'll improvise.”

“Saving Christmas was a lousy ending. Way too commercial.”

“We're gonna die! We're gonna die! I'm going to throw up, and then I'm gonna die!”

“[Mommy], tell it to stop!”

“Almost lost my cool there.”

“It's Santa! Go right back to sleep.”

“[He]'s planning a double-twisting interrupted forward-flying 2-and-a-half with a combo tuck and pike. High degree of difficulty.”

“Blasted water weight! Goes right to my hips.”

“Okay, fellas. Show time.”

“[Mr. Santa], what are you doing with our tree?”

“[Santa], what's Christmas really about?”

“I know [he]'s mean and hairy and smelly. [His] hands might be cold and clammy. But I think [he]'s actually kind of sweet.”

“Nice kid. Bad judge of character.”

“Clearance sale. Everything must go.”

“That wasn't so bad, was it, [Max]?”

“What an embarrassment! I've been robbed!”

“I wonder who could have done this.”

“But did anyone listen to me? No.”

“[Cindy], I hope you're very proud of what you've done.”

“You're glad. You're glad everything is gone. You're glad that [the Grinch] virtually wrecked.... No, not wrecked, pulverized Christmas. Is that what I'm hearing?”

“You can't hurt Christmas, [Mr. Mayor], because it isn't about the gifts or the contests or the fancy lights. That's what [Cindy]'s been trying to tell everyone! And me. [She]'s been trying to tell me.”

“What's wrong with you? This is a child!”

“[She]'s my child. And she happens to be right, by the way.”

“I don't need anything more for Christmas than this right here, my family!”

“Now for the final note in my symphony of downright nasty not-niceness! The crescendo of my odious opus! The wailing and the gnashing of teeth. The bellowing of the bitterly bummed out! It'll be like music to my ears!”

“Somehow or other, it came Just the same!”

“How could it be so? It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags!”

“Maybe Christmas doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”

“Help me! I'm feeling!”

“What's happening to me? I'm all toasty inside. And I'm leaking?”

“All right, that's enough! Knock it off! beat it! Get out of here! One step at a time!

“Wait! This can't happen! It shouldn't! It couldn't! It mustn't! It wouldn't! Not now, not then, not ever again!”

“What are you doing up there!?”

“I came to see you. No one should be alone on Christmas.”

“I got you, [Cindy Lou]!”

“Are you kiddin'? The sun is bright and the powder's bitchin'!”

“Now scoot over! It's my turn to drive!”

“Now you listen to me, [young] [lady]! Even if we're horribly mangled there'll be no sad faces on Christmas.”

“By the way, these lights match your outfit perfectly.”

“This could be more difficult to negotiate.”

“Out of the way! I have no insurance!”

“Run for your lives! Watch out, I can't stop!”

“Aren't you gonna cuff me? Put me in a choke hold? Blind me with pepper spray?”

“Sorry but my heart belongs to someone else.”

“Cheer up, dude. It's Christmas.”

“There's nothin' like the holidays.”

“Too late! That'll be mine.”

[bonvoyagenoona]

BTS Case Conceptualizations | Jin

Intro: Thanks again for indulging me as I share more about my characterization process for writing BTS fanfics (for more, check out the tag #how i write)!  This started with a post about how easy or hard it is to write about the guys (you can check it out here), and additional questions about my characterization process! Here are some abridged notes for context:

Psychological principles guide my writing style, partially because of my training, partially because psychology and writing (especially fanfiction writing!) are so intrinsically linked, and partially because I just happen to naturally gravitate toward delving deeper into core beliefs of characters

The framework that I use for characterization is based on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which assumes that people’s core beliefs about the Self, the World, and the Future influence people’s thoughts and actions

I use the members as ways to describe central themes in stories by using them to illustrate conflicts and/or resolutions in beliefs about the Self, the World, and the Future

For more on the series, click here, or follow the tag #bts case conceptualizations!

Jin

Our next installment is for our beloved Seokjinnie!

Jin’s concerns are about his Significance. I always think about his desire to celebrate himself in some ways:

source: JINSONYEONDAN

And I juxtapose that with his shyness when he is being celebrated by other members, like when Hobi was so quick to thank and celebrate Jin for working just as hard for PTD LV even while injured:

source: bellank 18

Contrast that further with how Jin also points out when people aren’t paying attention to him on his special days. Remember Jin’s birthday Vlive in 2020?

source: vlive

We celebrate Jin for being braggadocious in the silliest way. He’s goofy, random, and sweet. But at his heart, he’s humble, even self-deprecating about his capabilities, role, and personality. This particular juxtaposition screams something to my psychologist brain. Jin’s tendency to swing from braggadociousness to self-deprecation often reminds me of this scene from Fleabag, in which her therapist points out her tendency to use humor as a defense mechanism.

I think about this scene all the time. My therapist-y ears perk up when I feel people doing this when I’m talking with them. And we see Jin do this all the time. In fact, it’s a big part of his idol identity. Jin himself acknowledges using “Worldwide Handsome” as a joke:

'I’m nothing special, and I’m someone who doesn’t particularly excel at anything,' Jin said.

'Though people around me don’t think of me that way at all…if I even start to say something like this, they’ll say, "How can you say that? You’ve accomplished amazing things,"' he continued.

'But I still have a hard time accepting that. If someone were to ask me what sets me apart from other people, I wouldn’t have much to say other than "I’m a member of BTS,"' Jin shared.

source: Daily Mail

Humor is a well-known defense mechanism in the Freudian / psychodynamic sense. CBT doesn’t recognize defense mechanisms using the same terminology, but the use of humor can help identify irrational beliefs that one can hold about themselves. Check out these studies that examine the role that humor may play in identifying and breaking down such behavioral patterns.

This allows us to point out the all-or-nothing thinking that we can all succumb to: the idea that “one absolutely must be competent, adequate, and achieving in all important respects or else one is an inadequate, worthless person” (source: Psychology Today).

And I think this is particularly important, as we’ve seen time and time again, when someone is valued for their looks, or something completely arbitrary that they don’t have control over. People discount them. So much so that they may start to discount themselves.

source: anonymous954

And what happens when you’re a small fish in a big pond? What happens when you’re known for your looks, but you’re in an environment where everyone looks incredible? It’s even easier to question what you might bring to the table. To question what might be uniquely yours. What might be uniquely you.

CBT Application Through Core Beliefs

Self: Significance Negative core beliefs: I am insignificant; I am forgettable.  Positive core beliefs: I am integral; I am included.

World: Attention Negative core beliefs: The world ignores me. Positive core beliefs: The world celebrates me.

Future: Negative core belief: People will question if I ever deserved to be here. Positive core belief: People will think I’m special.

At his worst, Jin sees himself as someone who doesn’t contribute anything to the team. In some ways, his sense of humor allows him to mask that insecurity; in other ways, it helps him get to the joke first before anybody else can call him out on what he thinks are his flaws. I’ve been re-reading Nora Ephron’s I Feel Bad About My Neck, and this statement really sums that up:

However, at his best, Jin is particularly powerful.

Jin somehow always finds a way to embrace that insignificance.

'You know how everyone is born with a certain talent? I think my talent is that when something unpleasant happens or when I’m having a tough time mentally, I’m able to forget things quickly,' he said.

Jin added that, 'if I focus on my everyday life, I naturally wind up forgetting and moving forward.'

He also made quite the surprising admission that he doesn't think he's special at all.

source: Daily Mail

He spoke with Yoongi in a very “do or do not, there is no try” kind of way during their chat during season 1 of In the Soop, strongly making the point that happiness cannot be achieved or accomplished; it is merely a state of being. And it’s that enlightenment that I try to speak to in my fics.

Characterizations: A Map of Mrs. Kims, Hideaway

In A Map of Mrs. Kims, which is a work in progress, Jin is a character meant to investigate what it is to live as an independent person in today’s world, someone who is not focused on long-term partnership, someone who is fulfilled as he is on his own. In addition to that, he is a casanova focused on his career and immediate family. But when his mother, or his friends, press him on his love life, he does have a bit of a guard up. He tries to cover this up with jokes that focus instead on his sexual prowess.

“How many girls??” Retsuko’s eyes glisten with curiosity and excitement.

Jin pauses typing and looks sideways at her, eyes narrowing.

“You can’t be reveling in this.”

“I know I tease you relentlessly, but it’s because you’re hot as shit, smart as shit, kind as shit, but shouldn’t be single as shit.”

“I’m not single as shit.”

Jin presses ENTER on his keyboard and lets his initial data analysis run as he swivels his chair to face Retsuko head on.

“I’m just single. It’s not shitty, being single. I go on dates when I want. But I like—”

“—your independence, yeah yeah yeah,” Retsuko mocks, nodding her head exaggeratedly. She sits back and crosses her legs, the inside of her right knee resting on her left. “You do know that you don’t just merge into the person you commit to, right? You’re still your own person. You don’t just… blob together, like glue, or snot, or… or… I dunno, name another viscous fluid.”

Jin smirks.

Retsuko smirks back. “That’s why you’re single.”

“I just have too much viscous fluid in me to save it all for one person,” Jin says, turning back to his screen and scanning the syntax of his analysis. “Sharing is caring.”

“Well,” Retsuko says, “you might find out that after years of sharing—”

“Incessant sharing.”

“Incessant sharing—”

“Messy. Criminally so.”

“After your incessant, messy, criminal, absolutely depraved and disgusting sharing,” Retsuko jokes, “you’ll look up and find that there’s no one to share with anymore.”

Obviously, happiness is not only discovered through romantic partnership. I just happen to enjoy exploring the meaning of different kinds of personal relationships in my fics. But compare AMOMK Jin’s reaction here to Hideaway Jin’s reaction to partnership. 

Here, instead of using humor to deflect or mask, he chooses to be vulnerable. When discussing the nature of his and Y/N’s working relationship, meant to support a chaebol that consists of many families, he decides to be honest about his feelings, particularly about how that affects his friendship and personal relationship with Y/N.

You know what Jin means. If you abide by the current familial obligations, you don’t doubt that this will come up again and again. It puts undue stress on a relationship. Before Kwan, you were hopeful that you’d just find someone who understood. Now, you’re sure that no one will, and you’re beginning to resign yourself to that fate. But you can’t just turn your back on tradition. On power. On your parents. On your family. On Jin.

“I think you’re going to be the only guy in my life,” you say.

Jin’s breath hitches in his chest. You feel his body stutter.

You take some time to finish your tea. You’re feeling better, just waiting for all of this turmoil to settle. And Jin choosing to wait with you is helping.

“I’d be honored to be the next guy,” Jin says with a smirk.

You laugh.

“Why is that funny?” Jin asks, looking at you playfully.

“You know what I meant,” you say, leaning over and setting your empty mug on the table. “It’s just not going to happen for me, as long as I choose to focus on work, and on you.”

“What if you put a different kind of focus on me, then?”

You turn to Jin, confused.

As if to explain, Jin slowly raises his arm, the one that’s between you, the one you’re leaning on, and wraps it around you, under the blanket. He hugs you closer to him. You feel his fingers press against your arm and run down to your hand, intertwining his fingers into yours.

“Think about it, Friday. Think about me.”

You close your eyes and sigh, sinking into his hold.

He does feel good.

You’re looking straight ahead, but he turns his head and rests his chin on top of your head. Under the blanket, he moves his other arm to find your knees, scooping his forearm under them and turning you so that your legs run across his lap. He brings his arms around you, his hand still intertwined with yours. You look at him finally, questioningly. Your arm finds its way to his broad chest, and when you trace the collar of his muscle shirt, the blanket slips off of you both slightly, falling to your waists.

You deepen your touch, feeling the outline of the muscles of his firm chest. He sighs and closes his eyes, breathing hard. You’re starting to feel too warm, like you might start sweating.

He feels you, too. His hands are running up from your ankles to your thigh, moving across your stomach, and then down your other thigh to your other ankle. He grabs hold of your calf and massages it.

His other hand moves to your back, stroking it gently, first with just the knuckle of his thumb, but then with his entire palm, his fingers tickling in its wake. He grabs at your side, and you move against him, pressing into his chest harder, and letting out a little gasp.

You place your hand on his cheek, and he presses his hand over yours. You stroke his cheek, and he licks his lips. You gaze into each other’s eyes, and you see a glimmer of what could be.

But your gut is telling you the same thing that it will tell you in bed at Jin’s hideaway.

This won’t work.

You break your gaze and bring your hands down his neck, down his chest, and then back into your lap. You lean your head against his collarbone.

“We can’t, Jin.”

He watches you silently, both of you cooling back down, his hold feeling more like its usual caring and friendly hug.

“I just want you to know… I’m not a joke, either,” Jin says.

In all of my Jin stories, save maybe one, there is some aspect of insignificance or insecurity about his performance or identity in some way, whether it’s as a professional, or a significant other, or a lover. He often covers that up with humor, and he also has the tendency to act in boyishly, rapscallion-y, selfish, and self-destructive ways in an attempt to keep expectations of him extremely low. By the end of his character arcs, things have rarely changed for him. For example, in Hideaway, he still faces the huge responsibility of taking over his father’s company. However, the way he cognitively reframes his situation helps him see that responsibility through. Similarly to how IRL Jin thinks about BTS, Hideaway Jin realizes that he doesn’t have to do it all himself. And that takes the pressure off.

I write Jin in this way to honor the fact that we all fear our own potential. We have a hard time seeing our own strengths. We get confused when we try to line up with what other people value. When familiarity breeds contempt, knowing ourselves and being extremely self-aware, can sometimes backfire. So, we sometimes need to forget — or at the very least, go easy on ourselves. Jin teaches us how to embrace the things that we are uncomfortable with and turn them into our own joys. In a world where we often wonder what we can bring to the table, or how we can show up for others, we often forget that just showing up at all is more than enough.

As always, thanks for reading! What do you think? Do you agree? Disagree? I’m always interested in hearing what you have to say, so send me an ask or comment below!

🧠 Cheryl

[spnfanficpond]

February 2023 Angel Fish Awards

(Angel Fish design by @slytherkins!!)

WELCOME TO THIS MONTH’S ANGEL FISH AWARDS!

Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words.

The monthly Angel Fish Awards are peer-nominated, meaning ANYONE (you don’t have to be a member) CAN NOMINATE ANY POND MEMBER’S FIC. Everyone in this community deserves to be showered with love and feedback, and we hope that this fun, thoughtful award will do just that. (Click here to learn more about how to nominate a fic for an award!)

Be sure to read through this whole post as people who were nominated more than once only had one tag activated for Tumblr tagging purposes!

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE ARE THIS MONTH’S ANGEL FISH AWARDS!

Nominated by @spnexploration

Words Unsaid (series) by @iprobablyshipit91

It's a great Royal AU with a princess reader and her friend and fencing partner, Dean Winchester. She's down to earth and kickass, far from a princess locked away in a tower. Great writing and really interesting about what might happen next!

~*~*~

Nominated by @mrswhozeewhatsis

Now and Then (series) by @thinkinghardhardlythinking

I love me some angst and pining and this series DEFINITELY delivers!! If cheating is a trigger for you, then this is not for you, but that's about the only warning I could give. Wanna long for something you can't have? Then read this fic!

Collared (series) by @spnexploration

I've nominated this series before, and I have to nominate it again, because it's getting into the really hard parts, now. They've gotten the collar off of her, and she has to deal with the mental issues that result from everything she's gone through. And there are SO MANY. And no therapists for victims of supernatural assault! Reading how she's trying to work through everything is fascinating!!

28 Days (series) by @thoughtslikeaminefield

Apparently, I'm just into angsty series this month where people have to deal with their shit, because here's another one I'm loving! The cast of characters in this is impressing me more and more as it goes along, too. And poor Dean!! I can't wait to see where this goes!

Handle Me by @icecream-and-gadreel

Breaking my angsty streak here with a Destiel AU that is smutty as all get out! Noodle is back and she hasn't lost a step with her writing!

~*~*~

Nominated by @iprobablyshipit91

Pack (series) by @spnexploration

This series is just starting and it’s already shaping up to be a major comfort fic for me. Dean is so caring and protective already and always leaves me wanting more. There’s also Madison who is the best addition to this story!

Limelight (series) by @talesmaniac89

I love the social media aspect and how this story is told. The different dates the reader goes on with different guys from the series are hilarious and the interactions with Dean are super sweet! I can’t wait to read more

Love On The Brain by @waynes-multiverse

This one shot was just so funny. From Sam scheming, to them running into each other naked, to them just going for it and then finally Sam walking back in. Brilliant!

Last Time? by @smellingofpoetry

This was just really hot. I loved how sassy the reader was at the end when she listed off how many times they’d been together despite it being the last time

~*~*~

Nominated by @mariekoukie6661

I Licked It So It's Mine by @cloverhighfive

Very cute and domestic!!! DEAN COOKING!!!

~*~*~

Nominated by @princessmisery666

Twenty Minutes or Less by @iprobablyshipit91

Funny, hot and Dean is cocky but sweet 💖 Loved it.

A Few Moments of Madness by @smellingofpoetry

This was smoking hot, I needed a cigarette after and then THAT ending!! I did not see it coming and its was perfectly delicious!

~*~*~

Nominated by @glygriffe

Dean dancing drabble by @thoughtslikeaminefield

This is a cute and wholesome story about a later seasons Dean just enjoying seeing someone being happy!

Reciprocus by @thoughtslikeaminefield

This one is a a Weechester story (I cannot resist a Weechester story) about how a teacher can leave a mark.

If We Make It Through December (series) by @thoughtslikeaminefield

A Christmas steamy romance story between Donna and Dean!

Dean's Demise in Flower Pics by @cloverhighfive

I didn't think I would find a lot of new stories with the last Fishing for (smutty) treasure weekend. But I still did found some cool and different ones, like this one! It's a visual story board that conveys with very little text what Dean is feeling...!

~*~*~

Nominated by @thoughtslikeaminefield

Date Night by @princessmisery666

Two of my favorite things: shower sex and period sex. This is so sexy and cute. And the last line is adorable!

THANK YOU ALL FOR THE AWESOME WORK AND GREAT FEEDBACK!

These are not actual awards, as in, there is no competition! This system is set up so everyone has a chance to share the love and promote a fic/author in the Pond that has grabbed your attention. The more people that participate, the better this will be :D

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!