#guys it takes all of 2 seconds to watch the movie clip and realize whats happening

[real-odark]

rip billy flynn you wouldve loved social media misinterpreting your song

[elderly-worm]

Okay so I haven't trawled the tag but a friend told me that a new short film is being touted as canonizing Spirk, and I felt the need to compile a quick... not rebuttal per se, but provision of some much-needed context.

Disclaimer 1: I do think that the same clip of film can mean different things when aired at different times, and in the social context of the 2020s the new clip, despite showing stuff we've seen from Kirk and Spock before, means something potentially gayer than what we've seen before, since authorial intent is a thing and like... 2020s writers know what they're doing when they do That.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not the biggest TOS guy in the world (DS9 is my home turf; I've seen all of TOS and the movies once each, plus a few rewatches of certain episodes), but I thought I'd make the post in case assertions that Spirk has gone reach people with even less TOS knowledge than me and start being taken at face value by folks who don't realize Just How Gay Kirk and Spock have always been.

So.

Before you, oh imagined tumblrite with interest in the canonicity of Spirk but little contextual knowledge, applaud the newfound canonicity of such an important ship, I beg of you to take the following four instances into account. [Keep in mind through all of this that some sources say that Vulcan spouses kiss one another by touching the tips of two fingers together]:

Season 2, Episode 1, "Amok Time", 1967. Spock believes himself to have killed Kirk and tries to resign from Starfleet only to have Kirk reveal that he is alive. https://archive.org/details/star.-trek.-tos.-s-02-e-01.-amok.-time. See timestamp 46:58-47:39.

Season 3, Episode 24, "Turnabout Intruder", 1969. Kirk, transferred into a woman's body, convinces Spock that, contrary to appearances, he is in fact himself. Spock tries to break him out and they hold hands for a second amid the turmoil as the woman who has stolen Kirk's body tries to stop them from regaining control. https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x7q3l7t See timestamp 28:25-31:49.

"Star Trek: The Motion Picture", 1979. Spock, having briefly fused minds with an artificial intelligence named V'ger, is recovering from psychological overwhelm and tries to explain the experience. https://youtu.be/lxTaW8L_Pxo?feature=shared&t=113 The whole clip up to timestamp 2:50 is relevant, but note in particular 1:55-2:18.

"Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan", 1982. Spock sacrifices himself, dying of radiation poisoning to save the rest of the ship and crew. https://youtu.be/fHAOWLhrxhQ?feature=shared&t=101 See timestamp 1:40-4:56.

And finally, the new short film causing the uproar:

Now, by all means: draw your conclusions.

[sparrow-in-boots]

i did a Desmond headcanons post a while ago, so it’s only fair i do one for my other All-Time Blorbo so,

Clay headcanons that only make sense to me:

- Clay was born and raised in suburban Chicago, and spent most of his life there, save for a few family roadtrips during vacations and then training with the Brotherhood. Infiltrating the Animus program was the first time he ever went abroad;

- He had a collection of space-related clippings, like NASA news, reports on coming eclipses, blurry pictures he took with his father’s borrowed camera, which eventually became clear pictures after he got a telescope for his twelth birthday. There was a leaflet and pictures from a space exploration museum exhibit he went with his school, a faded grinning moon keychain he got from an aunt, and his most prized possession, a picture of four-year-old him grinning and staring up at the sky when he saw the Halley comet;

- After getting severely stung as a kid, he became phobic of bees and hornets and gets very antsy around large flying insects. Ironically, he’s also one of those people who never seem to get stung by mosquitoes;

- He often watched anime movies at a friend’s place after school. First time he watched Akira on a bootleg VHS, he had nightmares for two days because of the body horror. Afterwards, he developed a fascination with cyberpunk and technology in general;

- His first gaming console was a second-hand Nintendo 64, but if you ask him it was a Playstation 2. He ran a bet with a friend of his that if he could fix it, he could have it, and said friend agreed since the neighborhood maintenance guy told him it was more worth it to get a new one than fix it. Clay pulled it off after pouring months on the thing, and many a Halo split screen nighst were had thanks to it;

- Clay went into a Mechanical Engineering major and a Computer Engineering minor for college, and he went through the oath cerimony and he had an engineer’s ring. He often tapped it on something when he was lost in thought;

- While canonically his therapist was a major ass, Clay did in fact have ADHD and OCD. He almost had to quit college several times because of his symptoms;

- He’s one of these people who hoard internet tabs on their browser, and god help whoever deletes even one of them.

- He’s also incredibly picky about his filing system, digital and physical, which has both been a hindrance and a boon for his programming classes;

- He played Dungeons and Dragons and other TTRPG during high school, and in college he was a bit of a forever DM in the nerd circles there, though because of how his campaigns constantly died because of scheduling issues, he stopped doing homebrew and stuck to adventure books instead;

- He was also positively insufferable when the Lord of the Rings trilogy came out in theaters, and he almost failed a college class because he was in line for premier tickets instead of taking an exam;

- Clay realized he wasn’t straight really young, but only figured out he was gay in his teens. Going to college helped him explore his sexuality more, but joining the Brotherhood made him more confident and comfortable in his own skin, and he went to his first pride before being inducted as a full-fledged assassin;

- He never came out to his father, uncomfortable with being this vulnerable with him, but coming out to his mother was a bit of a “oh I knew already, I was just waiting on you to tell me yourself” situation;

- After his mother left and went back to her parent’s home in Detroit, he kept in contact with her and often relied on her for support when he didn’t find it with his father;

- The divorce was a long process overall, what with his father in denial about it and then the whole arguing about splitting assets. His mother did remarry though, and he had two stepsiblings from it, a younger brother and a baby sister. It was rocky at first for him during visits on holidays, but eventually they worked things out;

- While he does drink on occasion, he refuses to touch stuff like spirits due to bad memories from his father’s alcoholism;

- He won’t admit it even at threat of death, but he hates deep dish pizza with a passion. It’s too much filling for too little crust, he’d rather eat a sweet traditional pie instead;

- Speaking of, he absolutely loves jams and jellies. He can’t explain why, he just does and he’ll take those over any other spreadable anyday;

- His favorite snacks are fried fish fingers with spicy ranch, and jelly donuts. He’ll kill several men for those and that’s a promise;

- Clay does have curly hair, but he has a hair brushing tic and it pretty much kills any curl definition he has and it looks vaguely wavy instead;

- While him and Rebecca collaborated on several projects together, they never met personally as they were rarely in the same team, and they only knew each other through codenames until the Animus infiltration mission;

- He went to the Farm for a portion of his novice training with Bill, though he didn’t spend much time there. Only a few of the other kids who grew up with Desmond had stayed there, and that was the first time Clay ever heard about him;

- Lucy had thought for a bit that Clay had a crush on her during his time in Abstergo, and he awkwardly reassured her he couldn’t even if he tried. It made for an oddly sweet conversation, and ended up cementing his trust on her beyond Bill vouching for her.

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

#5: The One With Astruc's Self-Insert

In my introductory post, I said the main inspiration for this blog was @hypocrisyofandrewdobson​. For those who don't know, Andrew Dobson is an infamous webcomic artist known for drawing webcomics that tend to demonize people he's come across in public or people who disagree with him online (either critical of his art or his political views), while portraying himself as the victim or wise man calling them out on their differing beliefs.

If you want to learn more about this guy who I consider to be far worse than Astruc, check out the blog in question. And no, I don't know why he draws himself as a blue bear.

Why am I talking about this? It's one thing for some schmuck on the internet to use his work to respond to criticism, but the creator of a popular animated series dedicating an entire episode to attacking his critics and trying to get others to feel bad for him is another story.

The second episode of Miraculous Ladybug's third season, “Animaestro” served as a wake-up call for fans (myself included) to make them realize how immature Astruc could be. The plot centers around the premiere of a movie about Ladybug and Cat Noir directed by Thomas Astruc, who voices himself in the original French dub.

And this isn't just a brief cameo like what Stan Lee did in the MCU. Astruc is the Akumatized person this episode, so there's naturally a lot of focus on him. Throughout the first half of the episode, Astruc portrays himself as this timid man who nobody recognizes or respects, like this idiot who doesn't know what animation is.

Doorman: This is a private event, sir.

Astruc: Huh? Excuse me? I'm Thomas Astruc, the movie director.

Doorman: You filmed Cat Noir and Ladybug? What are they like in real life?

Astruc: Er, it's an animated movie. It's all cartoon characters. We don't actually film anyone. See, there's this whole team that draw the chara—

Doorman: Whatever. Who would want to see Ladybug and Cat Noir as cartoon characters?

Get it? Wasn't that meta joke hilarious? This is how much I was laughing:

And Astruc continues to get about as much respect as Rodney Dangerfield when he interacts with other characters like Jagged Stone and Chloe.

Jagged Stone: Ladybug is one of my best buds! I can't wait to see her movie!

Astruc: Well I—I'm the director, so actually it's more my movie, so to speak.

Jagged Stone: Oh, so you're the one who created the story?

Astruc: Well, technically the screen writers wrote the story, inspired by Ladybug's exploits.

Jagged Stone: Oh, okay. So you did all the drawings?

Thomas: No, no. The animators do all the drawings.  

Jagged Stone: So what do you do then?

(Later on...)

Chloe: So you're the one responsible for this movie?

Astruc: Yes, yes! Exactly! That's me!

Chloe: Then you were the one who left Queen Bee out of the trailer. You're lame, utterly lame.

I can't believe Astruc had a scene where he interacted with Chloe and didn't insult her at all.

The episode is determined to make the audience feel bad for Astruc. Nobody respects him and what he does. Isn't that saaaaaad? Nobody cares about animated film directors like Walt Disney or Tex Avery anyway. Not even these stupid children understand how hard Astruc works.

Several Children: Ladybug! Where's Ladybug?

Astruc: Hey there, kids!

Teacher: Ladybug isn't here children. We came here to meet the director of the movie. Children: (frowning in disappointment) Aww.

(Astruc looks visibly disappointed.)

Way to insult your primary demographic, Astruc. I thought you said kids have a better understanding of these stories when people criticized the writing of a certain episode (It's that scene in “Puppeteer 2” if you're curious/don't value your sanity).

It's almost like you're using that as an excuse to half-ass your work while still getting to claim this show is so groundbreaking.

In case you can't tell, “Animaestro” is one of those episodes. The ones where the showrunners decide to dedicate an entire episode to attacking critics of the show in a blunt fashion. Whenever a show addresses criticism, they either create an obvious strawman character to parrot the opinions of fans who don't like their work, or have someone defend the show and insult the critics directly.

The problem isn't that they're ignoring criticism. It's their show, and they aren't obligated to listen to critics or fans who don't like the direction the show is taking. On the other hand, they aren't obligated to fight back like this and treat their audience like crap. Any show that does something like the three clips I showed you usually comes off as petty and immature because they dedicate so much time to insulting the critics. 

Even during the Akuma fight, Astruc has to call out Ladybug for having problems with his movie in-universe, obviously representing critics of the show Astruc claims have no right to criticize the show while it's still airing.

Ladybug: What's with that trailer too? I am not scared of cats, at all.

Astruc/Animaestro: You haven't even seen the movie and you're already slamming it?

Cat Noir: He does have a point, you know.

Ladybug: I wasn't slamming it. It's called constructive criticism!

Yeah, how dare Ladybug be angry that this movie is portraying her as a powerless coward dependent on Cat Noir as opposed to a confident and brave superhero. She just doesn't understand the genius of Thomas Astruc!

And of course the character Astruc claims is “perfect” is the one to take his side.

And that's another problem with this episode, the metatextual references. Before he gets akumatized, Astuc says he spent three years of his life working on his movie. I get that time in this show is weird (we somehow had episodes taking place on the first day of school, Christmas, Valentine's Day, and the first day of Summer), but how did Astruc's self-insert work on a movie based on a superhero who has only been active for a year? Meta-wise, it's an obvious reference to the scorn Astruc has gotten from fans after working so hard on his show, but the only people who would get that reference are the ones who are aware of Astruc's reputation online.

Self-Insert aside, I actually think the titular Animaestro is one of the more visually impressive Akumas featured on the show. Animaestro takes on several forms based off several different forms and eras of animation, like flash, anime, rubber hose, and they all stand out. Granted, some of them are obvious parodies of other characters like Goku or Sailor Moon, but the actual Akuma fight is fun to watch. According to the Mexican Miraculous Ladybug Twitter account, this episode took two and a half years to create, and it shows. It's too bad the story behind it is completely insufferable, almost like the cartoon equidistant to Pixels.

But then comes the part that honestly makes the episode worth it, mainly for how unintentionally hilarious it is. Do you want to know what Animaestro's weakness is? Do you really want to know?

Animaestro is physically incapable of moving unless someone is watching him. I am not making this up.

Ladybug and Cat Noir literally defeat Animaestro by getting everyone to stop paying attention to him.

I could make so many jokes with this, but I can guarantee you're already thinking of something just as good, if not better, than whatever I write.

And there's the end where Astruc gives Marinette his ticket to the movie, which prompts Marinette to kiss up to him for no real reason.

Astruc: Sorry, I guess you don't know who I am either.

Marinette: Of course do. You're Thomas Astruc, the movie director!

Astruc: She recognized me. Somebody actually recognized me!

Nothing happened to make her change her opinion on the Ladybug movie, she didn't really say anything to him earlier in the episode that connects to this exchange, and outside of a few lines Animaestro said, she doesn't even know why he got akumatized (even though ironically she and Chloe accidentally contributed to it because of the awful subplot involving Kagami I talked about last time). If anything, it comes off less like she actually appreciates Astruc's work, and more like she's stroking his ego just to keep him from getting akumatized again.

So yeah, this episode is awful, and the fact that it came out right after the controversial “Chameleon” only proved to show what kind of direction the show was taking this season.

But honestly, even if Astruc still wanted to make about how he doesn't get enough respect the episode could have potentially. All he had to do was make a simple change: Instead of making it about validation for Astruc as a creator, make it about validation for animation in general.

It's a common misconception that animation is only used for shows and movies aimed at children, so the episode could reflect it. Instead of the huge turnout where several celebrities appear at the premiere, instead, the turnout could be a lot smaller, with the media dismissing it as some stupid kiddie flick. Instead of getting akumatized because he gets humiliated in public/getting no respect from anyone else, Astruc gets akumatized because he sees the audience didn't go wild for the movie after the premiere. All he can hear them say is that it's just “kids stuff”.

So when Astruc is Animaestro, he goes on about how important animation is. How it's helped produce propaganda since World War II. How it helped improve special effects in big blockbusters. How the medium is used to create movies that simply can't be filmed on a physical set.

After defeating Animaestro, Ladybug shows up to talk to him. She had seen the movie earlier, and actually enjoyed it. She had a few problems with the story, but they were just minor nitpicks and inaccuracies Astruc wouldn't know about, and she was blown away by the animation. She tells Astruc not to be deterred by his critics, and continue to do what he does. As a designer in her civilian life, Ladybug knows the joy creating brings her, and both she and Astruc want to spread that joy through their work.

Back at the premiere, Astruc thinks about what Ladybug said to him when he sees some kids reenacting a scene from the movie. Astruc walks over to them and asks what they thought of the movie. They said they loved it and how energetic it was. When he tells them he is the director, the kids' faces light up and they say they want to do what he does when they grow up, bringing a smile to Astruc's face.

Isn't that a much more humble approach instead of what we got? It would have helped Astruc come across as more sympathetic, especially with animation fans. But instead, we got an entire episode of Astruc whining about how misunderstood he is.

And you know the footage used for the movie at the beginning? Remember that, because I have a huge rant about it saved for a later post.

For now, here’s an example of a creator appearing in his work done right.

[twh-news]

"Loki" Director Kate Herron Talks The Epic Season 1 Finale And The Easter Egg Fans Should Go Back And Listen For | Buzzfeed

Warning: There are MASSIVE spoilers ahead for Season 1 of Loki!

Welp, Loki Season 1 just came to an end and I think it's safe to say that the Marvel Cinematic Universe will never be the same. Following the Season 1 finale, we sat down with director Kate Herron to talk about everything — like how it felt introducing the multiverse and Jonathan Majors to the MCU, casting this incredible ensemble cast, Loki's bisexuality, and so much more. Here's everything we learned:

1. First, Kate has always loved Loki, so she knew she wanted to be involved in the "character's next step" in some way.

"Basically, I love Loki, and I found out they were making a show about him. As a fan, I was like, 'I need to know where he's gone.' Then, I just wanted to know what the story was going to be. I loved the character. I think Tom Hiddleston's performance is amazing. I really wanted to be part of whatever this character's next step was because I think Loki's had one of the best arcs in the MCU."

2. Directing all six episodes of the first season felt like filming a six-hour movie.

"Directing all six episodes was a really unique experience, right? Because normally TV is run through the showrunner system, and Marvel didn't do that on Loki. It was incredible. It was quite an undertaking to do six hours and run it like a giant film. I'm so grateful for the opportunity, and I'm really proud of what we made."

3. When Kate signed on to Loki, only the first few scripts had been written, the "rough shape of the show" was in place, and they knew Loki would be arrested by the TVA.

"When I started, Michael [Waldron] had written the pilot. Then, there was a second episode written by Elissa [Karasik], and Bisha's [Ali] episode was written. So, there was a rough shape of the show. It was already fixed in that Loki was gonna be arrested by the TVA and then it had this twist that he was going to try and solve the mystery of who this other Loki was, but then it pivots and becomes this love story about him falling in love with himself. I just thought that was so inspired and the message that had about self-love. I just really wanted to be part of that."

4. And they always knew the show would end at The Citadel at the End of Time and the multiverse would be born.

"As we dug into it with Kevin Wright, our producer, the studio, Michael, Tom, and also our whole team, I think it was always thinking like what was the best story, in particular during the second half of the show. We always knew they were going to The Citadel, something would happen, and the multiverse would be born, but we didn't necessarily know it would come out of Loki and Sylvie fighting. That idea came out of discussions with me, the writers, and the studio."

5. It was "always the plan" to introduce Jonathan Majors to the MCU during the Loki Season 1 finale.

"I think me and the writers were just like, 'Well, they haven't told us we can't introduce that character. I guess we're doing it.' It was really exciting and I felt really honored that I got to be part of it."

6. Kate was involved with Jonathan's casting for He Who Remains/Kang alongside Peyton Reed, who will direct Ant-Man: Quantumania, and Marvel Studios.

"Being part of the casting discussion with Marvel and Peyton was amazing. It was massive. I was just like, 'Wow, I can't believe I get to be part of this conversation.' Everyone was just so excited about Jonathan. He's one of the best actors. I just couldn't believe we got him."

7. Jonathan brought a lot of "cool ideas to the table" once he was cast, and Kate gave him "space to play."

"He just brought so many cool ideas to the table. I think when you're working with an actor like Jonathan, it's really just about giving him space to play, and let him find the character and give him a cool way to do that. I really enjoyed working with him. We finished the shoot filming in The Citadel, so it was really interesting that we finished filming with Jonathan. I just felt very lucky I got to direct him."

8. Jonathan actually voiced the Time-Keepers in Episode 4, which added to the Wizard of Oz homage.

"Obviously, the Time-Keepers were being made in post, and we hadn't cast anyone [for the voices] yet, and I thought, 'Well, Wizard of Oz. Like it should be the wizard, right?' So I thought it would be cool if it was Jonathan, and I think the key thing then was just working with him in a way that we could disguise his voice. I think the fun thing was, Jonathan is an amazing character actor. So we just sent him the art and he was sending audio clips to me and Kevin Wright and being like, 'What about this voice?' It was just so much fun to do that with him. I think that was just joyful."

9. Kate's favorite Easter egg from Episode 5 was Throg — in fact, Chris Hemsworth recorded new lines and sounds for that small part.

"That one I was very proud of and it was very fun. I had that shot designed for a while. I think I'd seen it in Futurama, and a lot of animation does it, but I love the idea of going through the dirt and it reveals something. I always felt like that shot would be the place to insert an Easter egg. When we had Throg in there, it was so much fun and it was perfect. We also recorded Chris [Hemsworth] for that. It was just so much fun."

10. She also loved the Thanos Copter and said it was a "funny" detail the producers loved from the comics, so they had to include it.

"The Thanos Copter was great. Kevin Wright, our executive producer, was really obsessed with that copter, I was like, 'We have to put the helicopter,' and it was so funny. Episode 5 is our best Easter egg episode. There's so much deliberately because of the nature of The Void as a place where deleted things are sent."

11. There's one Easter egg/detail Kate hasn't seen fans catch onto yet, and it involves a "familiar" voice at the very end of the Season 1 finale.

"The one I would say is — it's less Easter egg and more cool story-wise. So, at the very end of the finale, when Loki is in this alternate TVA, there's a character that runs behind him and is going to the armory and people should listen to the voice. It's very quick, but it's someone familiar."

12. Loki was inspired by numerous iconic sci-fi movies, like Children of Men, Alien, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Metropolis, Starship Troopers, and more.

"Bisha, in the episode [she wrote], she spoke about Children of Men and also Before Sunrise as a reference, so I was really inspired by that and the idea of bringing these sci-fi things together. Across all the TVA, I wanted it to just be a big love letter to sci-fi movies, like Metropolis, Brazil, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, [and] Alien. A reference I could never talk about early was Starship Troopers just because, obviously, the TVA are bad guys and in that movie they also use a lot of propaganda film and we had our Miss Minutes film. So, that movie played a hand. There was so much across the show. We had references from everywhere."

13. And the inspiration for how The Void would look in Episode 5 actually came from Teletubbies.

"I never really spoke much about it, but basically in Episode 5, The Void was originally written like a desert, but when I pitched, I said I thought it would be cool if rather than like a Mad Max desert apocalypse, it's more like an overgrown garden. Like, this is the place where the TVA throw their rubbish in. I just loved the idea of that. I think I realized as it started to unravel that I'd basically pitched the British countryside. As we were building it, I was like, 'Am I just homesick?' I remember trying to explain it to the visual effects artists who were making it, and I was like, 'You know, it's like the Teletubbies. You know, rolling hills just one after another.' So, yeah, the Teletubbies became a useful reference when describing The Void. So, that's how they played a hand in it."

14. Kate was the one who suggested Sophia Di Martino audition for the role of Sylvie.

"Sophia was in a short film of mine called Smear. I was very happy to pay her, finally, for her talent. When we were reading for the role, I was like, 'There's this actor I know and I think we should ask if she wants to read.' Everyone was like, 'Yeah, sure.' So, she read in these audition tapes, and we were all watching the tapes back and I remember everyone at the studio was like, 'Wait, who's that?' And I was like, 'Oh, that's my friend Sophia.' They thought she was amazing."

15. Sophia's audition tape was so good that she was immediately cast.

"Basically, everyone was really excited by her tape and I think she got cast in the room, which is incredible. I was excited because I got to bring my friend along. She's such a good actor. She's fantastic in Flowers and I was just so happy that she was coming along for the ride. I think she's done such a beautiful job with Sylvie."

16. One of the most important things when crafting Sylvie and the other Loki Variants was making sure they were their own characters, and not just Loki copies.

"I think the most important thing, minus just tiny little gestures, was really making it important that Sylvie was her own character and that all the Lokis weren't just 'faded photocopies.' They were all their own Loki. It wasn't even that they stood in a similar way or looked similar, but what in their soul made them a Loki. I love that line, 'Lokis always survive.' That idea goes across all our characters who are Lokis."

17. Casting Sylvie was one of the hardest things, and Sophia was able to bring her own spin to the character and she was the perfect "sparring partner" for Tom.

"Sophia has this talent — and I think Tom has it as well — where she's so funny and naturally so witty and charismatic that you can't take your eyes off her. She's also really good at playing characters with a lot of anger, pain, and vulnerability. I just felt that those qualities were so Loki to me. She brought her own spin on it too. Tom's performance is so iconic, so Sylvie was a tough role to cast because you need to give him a good sparring partner, but also, it's another Loki and people love Loki. So, it was really making sure that she felt distinctive enough that she was different, but also that we gave Tom a really fun actor to play alongside. It was really fun watching them. It was really fun seeing their chemistry grow."

18. Sylvie's fighting style was actually crafted to have similar movements to Loki's, thus showing that they are basically two sides of the same coin.

"I know Tom and Sophia spent a lot of time together. I think the fun thing with Sophia was the little things, like the fighting styles. She has a very different life to our Loki. Loki is very balletic in his fighting style, because he grew up in the palace, whereas Sylvie grew up in apocalypses. So, she was going to fight a bit more like a feral cat. I thought that was fun to play with. We worked with Mo [Ganderton], our stunt coordinator, and it was really fun to find little mirror image stuff they would do when they fight. We did a little bit of that on Lamentis and there's little bits here and there where we've done that. There's also little gestures that they do that are quite similar."

19. Kate had a "four hour" phone call with Owen Wilson before he was cast. They talked about Marvel, Mobius, and Loki.

"Everyone was so excited to cast him. I remember, they were like, 'Kate, just call him and see if he's up for it.' That was a lot of pressure. But then, I spoke to him on the phone and we spoke about Marvel and Loki in Marvel. Also, we talked about what our show was doing, who Mobius was, and then just getting his take on it. It was a very detailed conversation. I think we spoke for like four hours. At the end, he was like, 'I'm in.'"

20. Wunmi Mosaku's role was originally supposed to be a male character, but Kate suggested having an "open casting" because she thought Hunter B-15 would be really great as a female character.

"When I spoke to the studio, I was like, 'This character is cool, but I just think it could be really interesting if this was a female character. So, could we do open casting? We'll have men and women read, and we'll just see who's the best person for the role.' So, Wunmi read for it and just blew everyone away. We were like, 'We have to cast this person!' So, we kind of remade the role, really, around her."

21. Kate loves the idea that Hunter B-15 joins this club of sci-fi female characters who were originally supposed to be men.

"It was cool because I love Ripley in Alien and I love Kara Thrace in Battlestar Galactica. In the original Battlestar, Kara Thrace's character was played by a man, and Ripley in Alien was originally written as a man, so I liked that Hunter B-15 was joining these badass women in sci-fi. That was really cool to me."

22. When Kate pitched her ideas to the studio, she include Gugu Mbatha-Raw as the actor she wanted to play Ravonna.

"Gugu was in my pitch when I spoke to the studio. I was like, 'I think she'll be really great.' I love her work as an actor. From Belle to the episode of Black Mirror she's in, everything she's in is so different. I think that's so interesting with Ravonna because in the comics, Ravonna's been good and bad, and she's such a big character. I was like, 'I'd love to see Gugu's take on that character.' The studio was really excited by that and so was Gugu."

23. Kate said it was "important" to recognize Loki's bisexuality in the show, and she loved how it was naturally worked into a conversation between him and Sylvie.

"It was just important for us to do it in a way that made it canon, acknowledged it, and also done in a way where like, if someone asked me, I would just be matter of fact about it, like, 'Yeah, I'm bi.' I think that was the important thing for it and building it into the conversation. It was important to the whole team and the way that it was written was really beautiful. It felt like the right place to do it because these two characters are starting to open up to each other and are being a bit more honest about who they are. So it felt like the right place to have that moment."

24. The TVA weren't always going to be Variants/humans. That idea was born out of conversations with Kate, the writers, and the rest of the Loki team.

"When I started, I think it was a bit more up in the air with like, who are the Variants who work for the TVA? Are they Variants? They actually weren't Variants when I first joined. Casey was an alien, for example. I think something we all locked onto was it was more effective to make them more human. It was already in there that the Time-Keepers wouldn't be real and that would be a big Wizard of Oz rug pull. But the extra rug pull we added was that, on top of all of that, the TVA don't realize that they're actually Variants."

25. One of the things Kate enjoyed the most was figuring out the "inner workings of the TVA," like how the Minutemen would operate.

"I think it was really fun, in terms of the bigger structural stuff, to work with everyone. Also, figuring out the inner workings of the TVA, like every squad of Minutemen would have a hunter and they'll be little details sprinkled across all the world building in the show. Generally, we always looked at the characters and what was the best story and how to get to the end goal in the most effective way."

26. The season finale intro — which included seeing space, the sacred timeline, and hearing quotes from the MCU and history — was an homage to Contact.

"Basically, Eric Martin, our writer, he'd written in this amazing idea that for the opening we do an homage to Contact, and kind of move through space to the end of time. Then, we'd see the physical timeline, and then we see The Citadel. I love Contact, and I was like, 'Oh, that's so cool.' We took that idea to Darrin [Denlinger], our storyboard artist, and me and him just nerded out about space and about how we wanted to pay homage to Contact but not be completely the same.

So we played with the idea of time and he was bringing in so many cool ideas. But then, the amazing pitch he had as well was like, 'What if when we pull out at the very end, the timeline isn't a straight line like how you guys have been showing it in the show? What if it's actually circular?' I thought it was such a good idea."

27. Kevin Feige helped come up with the idea to include Marvel quotes over the Marvel logo because it was something the MCU had never done before.

"I had this weird idea where I remember saying to my editor, Emma McCleave, I was like, 'Oh, can we add a baby crying or the sounds of the city? And it's like we just hear life.' So her, me, and Kevin Wright got really into that. So we were adding all of these different sounds into the timeline. We also had quotes from just life, not Marvel. Then, we showed that cut to Kevin Feige and the rest of the team.

They all thought it was cool, and then Kevin Feige was like, 'Oh, do you know what? We've never done quotes on the Marvel logo before.' So, we thought that was cool and we added the quotes to the Marvel logo intro. Then, me, Kevin Wright, Emma, and Sarah Bennett, Emma's assistant, decided to just put the MCU quotes across the whole thing."

28. Going from hearing all of the voices in the season finale opening to utter silence in The Citadel was also a way of learning something about He Who Remains.

"I loved the idea of all the noise and this Greek chorus building because when you finally pull out and see The Citadel and how isolated it is, it tells you so much about He Who Remains' psychology because he's surrounded by all this brimming life, but he's completely isolated and alone. I thought it tells you a little bit about his character and who he might be before we see him."29. Kate loves that the season finale opening is a "beautiful handover" from the previous phase of the Marvel Cinematic Universe into this one with the multiverse.

"It was a real group effort, and we were just really excited at the idea of it being this really beautiful handover from the previous phase of Marvel. Also, we get to encapsulate a little bit of our world as well, which was really fun. The editing team put so much time into that. I really want to watch it in a planetarium or something."

29. Kate loves that the season finale opening is a "beautiful handover" from the previous phase of the Marvel Cinematic Universe into this one with the multiverse.

"It was a real group effort, and we were just really excited at the idea of it being this really beautiful handover from the previous phase of Marvel. Also, we get to encapsulate a little bit of our world as well, which was really fun. The editing team put so much time into that. I really want to watch it in a planetarium or something."

30. And finally, even though Loki sets up a lot of upcoming MCU projects — namely, Spider-Man: No Way Home, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, and Ant-Man: Quantumania — Kate didn't have a lot of conversations with other MCU directors and writers.

"Kevin Wright and Stephen Broussard from Marvel were our producers on Loki, and they worked with Kevin Feige, Louis [D'Esposito], and Victoria [Alonso]. They always steered us in terms of the Marvel big picture and let us know if anything was off base. It's so secretive at Marvel, so I only spoke to Peyton just because our timelines crossed [with Jonathan]. Generally, Marvel manages everything internally and keeps us all in check."

[franniebanana]

CQL Rewatch - Ep 19

Wow, Wei Wuxian looks so rough here. He’s spent some time under the knife (with no anesthetic), and then after that, he has just been waiting around for Jiang Cheng. It’s been seven days since Jiang Cheng went up that mountain. And of course Wei Wuxian is worried about him. What if something happened on his way down the mountain? What if he’d been captured or killed by the Wens? All the while, he’s basically defenseless here in Yiling (iirc). He’s sweating profusely, clutching at his middle—it’s possible he’s even suffering from an infection due to the transfer surgery. Seriously, the poor guy!

I love the visuals here: all these cloaked figures just filling this tea house, and not another soul in there other than the waiters. It’s both comical and heartbreaking the way that Wei Wuxian tries to immediately nope out of there, because he knows it’s a trap right away. Even with his Golden Core, I don’t know if he could have escaped them all—there were too many Wens, including the Core-Melting Hand. This part always really gets to me, because it truly is the first death of Wei Wuxian. It’s the death of who he once was: that smart, quirky, rascal of a youth, who made a very honest oath that essentially guided him to this point.

No joke, the first time I watched this, I was like, “Is that Lotus Pier? How tf did he get there?! How much did they change the story?!” And then a few seconds later, I realized this was a super sad dream/vision that Jiang Cheng was having and I channeled all my anger into sadness. This part is also super depressing. He has this vision of this happy family: his mother laughing, his father kissing his hand, just the picture of love. But it’s so far from what he had growing up, and you just realize that his greatest desire was really to have that happy family. But his parents are dead, he’s lost just about everyone at Lotus Pier—it’s so heartbreaking.

God, he just looks so broken! I’m sad now.

So even though I know the cost of Jiang Cheng’s happiness is Wei Wuxian giving up his own Golden Core, I still feel so happy here, seeing Jiang Cheng feeling like himself again. It’s because Wei Wuxian knows Jiang Cheng’s heart truly that he could offer up his own future so that Jiang Cheng could have a better one. I also just love this shot of Jiang Cheng kowtowing to the Immortal One, thanking her for healing him, and the camera pans past him, showcasing the beautiful scenery again. And then he walks down the mountain path with such a spring in his step! I love it!

I love that Wei Wuxian is still able to use his mind and play to their weaknesses. Wang Lingjao is extremely superstitious and fearful of the supernatural, and just the idea that he could haunt them scares the shit out of her. It’s just very cool to me that with all the abuse he endures, he still maintains a clear head and is able to fight back with his wit. This is yet another reason why I get annoyed when I see Wei Wuxian characterized as an idiot or someone who isn’t very smart. He proves his wit in just about every scene, so I don’t know why he gets this reputation in fanon. I feel like it’s derived from some overused yaoi/shojo trope where the “girl” has to be less smart than the “guy.” I don’t know how many things I’ve watched and read with a scatterbrained (but not charming) female lead—it’s overused.

This is so cool, because Wei Wuxian is scared out of his mind—he’s terrified of being left to die in the Burial Mounds. He’s heard all the stories: people don’t return, their souls get torn apart, etc. But what is cool is that he turns everything around and makes this place his source of power. He’s the man who conquered the Burial Mounds. It’s very satisfying to see that. FYI, I’m not going to talk about how he falls for like 20 minutes.

But I do think it’s really cool how the dark spirits catch him (and that’s all I’ll say).

This part still gives me major chills: you hear so many people calling out Wei Wuxian’s name, and then a “Wei Ying” breaks through. My breath always catches in my throat the first time I hear it. And then you hear it again, and the other voices have faded away before you hear it a third time. And that all feels nice until the screaming starts, which is hard to listen to, let alone hard to watch Wei Wuxian go through the mental turmoil.

Lan Wangji is back, bitches! He’s got a new title, a new headdress, and he’s hotter than ever. Jokes aside, though, this entrance is beyond epic. Other than that tiny glimpse of him in the last episode, it’s been ages since we’ve seen him, and it’s so satisfying that we get this great entrance, walking up this enormous staircase. Obviously by this point, I’m ecstatic to see him (it’s been way too long). Everything about this scene is great, from his entrance, to the way he uses his guqin as a spiritual tool, to the way he and Jiang Cheng are now a team. I don’t think there’s an awful lot of comradery there, but they have a common goal: find Wei Wuxian.

So we’re not really used to seeing a ton of emotion from Lan Wangji. Even when he’s annoyed, he doesn’t tend to show it. But, man, he is pissed here. Because of the magic of fiction, he’s probably heard the Wens’ conversation as he was walking up the stairs, so he heard them mocking Wei Wuxian (and the Yunmeng Jiang Sect), and he is not happy about it. He even uses the Chord Assassination Technique right off the bat against at least two of the Wen soldiers. Lan Wangji means business, and he’s not leaving until he gets what he wants.

The other great thing is that he doesn’t even need to come up all the way. He defeats them at a distance, while he’s still on the stairs. And the power and respect he commands is so great that they all know him by his face.

What Wen Chao does here is so relatable. His girlfriend is freaking out, having nightmares, convinced Wei Wuxian is going to turn into a ferocious ghost and haunt them until they lose their minds, and he, of course, rationalizes: they’ve sent so many people to the Burial Mounds and none of them have ever come back. In other words, “You’re being ridiculous.” But when he turns away from her, you can see the fear in his own eyes. When something spooky happens, my first step is always to rationalize—there’s a logical explanation for most things, right? And it always makes you feel better to rationalize it to someone else, but when you’re alone and thinking, your mind starts to wonder, your imagination starts to go wild. It’s easy to psyche yourself up in the dark and quiet of the night.

There’s this really gorgeous cello version of “Wuji” playing during this scene—it’s so beautiful, so moving, hitting me right in the feels. The look on Lan Wangji’s face when Jiang Cheng is telling him about how he and Wei Wuxian were supposed to meet in Yiling, how he thought Wei Wuxian had abandoned him to meet up with Lan Wangji in Lanling—he looks so defeated there. Defeated despite taking down the Qishan Indoctrination Bureau. Defeated because he hasn’t found who he’s been searching for. And then he holds Suibian so tenderly and lovingly—I’m emotional, okay?

It’s really cute and heartwarming to see Jin Zixuan starting to fall for Jiang Yanli. We’ve known for quite some time how Yanli feels for him, so it’s quite satisfying to see his walls come down as he starts to care more and more about her. He becomes protective of her. When she gasps at the hanging head at the gates of Qinghe, his instinct is to hold her—of course, he stops himself, but it’s very obvious that he wants to comfort her physically (and not in a dirty way, get your minds out of the gutter).

I love the dichotomy here: on one end, you have Jin Zixuan asking Lan Wangji where Wei Wuxian is, while you have Jiang Yanli echoing that on the other end with Jiang Cheng. Jiang Cheng can’t answer—he’s crying, trembling, emotionally responding to his sister without speaking. And Lan Wangji can’t speak either. His lips part, but no words come out. Again, you get this great sense of defeat from him—he’s completely at a loss, but he can’t or chooses not to show those emotions.

It’s also interesting how they kind of clipped the reunion between the Yunmeng Jiang siblings in favor of showing the conversation between Jin Zixuan and Lan Wangji. In my opinion, it’s to remind us of the reunion that isn’t happening right now—the one that should have been—the one between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian. And why isn’t it happening? The conversation reminds us that he’s still missing. I don’t doubt the importance of the Yunmeng Jiang siblings in this story—they are obviously instrumental to the plot and to Wei Wuxian—but it’s choices like this where the writers/scene directors remind us that the relationship to focus on is the one between Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji, and not Jiang Cheng, holds onto Suibian, the only remaining item that is most spiritually connected to Wei Wuxian. Isn’t that interesting?

“A-Cheng, you’ve grown up. As your sister, there’s nothing I can do but worry about you.” Such a wise line—such a sad line. This really brings out how powerless she feels in the lives of her brothers. She’s a bystander, she has no influence. All she can do is watch and worry, and nothing either of them says or does will change that. It’s something we as parents and caretakers and guardians at some point have to admit: we can’t control our children’s lives, we can’t control those we take care of. Once they reach a point in their lives, it’s them who has to make their own decisions. They must thrive on their own, they must fail on their own. And all we can do is watch and worry and hope for the best. God, Yanli breaks my heart.

Me in bed when I watch a scary movie any time of the day.

She does crazy so well, though.

Other episodes: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom, season 3 episodes 3-6 thoughts!

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-johnny was actually pretty civil with danny and left when he asked! thats nice. also, SKULKER?? HAD A FRAMED PICTURE OF EMBER?? oooo fuck wait had they established they were a Thing Before?? I dont think so. thats weird. its like that country boy/goth girl meme lmfao. I think i am going to choose to ignore this new info and pretend I didnt hear it. 100% unrelated to the jazz/ember fanart I already drew and posted....😳

-LADIES NIGHT EPISODE THIS IS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT. wish it didnt really center around the guys or them being pissed at them, but. willing to bet this was written by men lol

-THEY ERASED ALL THE MEN??? meanwhile, jack and danny are fishing at. silent hill or something. im glad jack is trying to read a parenting book and making an Attempt. (theyre at lake erie, but, they made it actually eerie...thats fun)

-the girls alt outfits...cute. EMBER MADE A NEW SONG TOO!!! kinda. jazz being one of the backup singers and being AWFUL. NOOOO

-'how are we going to get kitty to blow a kiss?' 'she'll have to think there are still some males in town!' ...i dont know how to break it to you, but I dont know that a 100% het girl would wish for all men to Begone. I think. I mean im not a het or a girl so I dont really know for sure. she Is probably Bi tho. esp having the other ladies in town chanting NO MEN!!! excitedly............(then again, the kiss is to get Rid of men, so, she probably would have blown it at the ladies only if they were actively trying to attack/stop them, so...I MEAN. THE DRESSING LIKE DANNY BIT WAS SO EXTRA)

-I feel like an all female cast ep couldve been way way way way cooler than that was. like. why was it still somehow all about Men. ...anyway. (where was valerie...)

-next ep opens with the observants, and, way way more of them than I expected...existed? I mean I guess them being a council/jury of some kind is what I expected from their first appearance (bc at that time they were basically TELLING clockwork to kill danny, not asking,, so I figured they had SOME kind of authority) but. there were so many. anyway, here goes vlad! letting his own hubris go brrrr. releasing a weather ghost for political gain! #justvladthings

-okay say what you will about him (he IS an asshole) but having an umbrella with his own face on it and more prepared to share is SUPER FUNNY. and him being fanned by huge wads of money by his bodyguards. SO ineffective but so Dramatic. He UNDERSTANDS that if youre rich you need to be. you know. obnoxious and kinda eccentric about it! fuckign hate when rich people are boring about it. I would trust vlad with nothing except to not be a boring rich asshole who wears...fucking khaki or some shit. man knows his Presentation Skills. and that 'V' chair in his mayoral office. is that fucking embroidered?

-maddie get your MAN PLEEEEASSSE. IM SO EMBARRASSED FOR HER. the way jack stays simping for this man. in FRONT OF HIS WIFE!!!! ...my god its like a love triangle. jack clearly loves vlad, who loves maddie, who loves jack. jack fenton is at the very least bi, right................. this is an OBSESSION . 'THE V MAN COMETH'???? i...my god. (also, on a serious note, to have a friend THIS SUPPORTIVE...and still be SUCH A DICK TO HIM (TRYING TO KILL HIM AND STEAL HIS WIFE??) NOT COOL VLAD. JACK IS YOUR 1 AND /ONLY/ HYPE MAN. if someone loved and supported me THIS HARD...LIKE. CMON DUDE.

-STOMP the fucking GAS, JACK

-this would make a great shirt design, looks like a metal band design! we love The Maelstrom

-oh, so vlad did in fact get a mansion in amity park. and its purple! good color choice! not as flashy as a CASTLE or MURDER CABIN, but still pretty eccentric, which I appreciate.

-...vlad knows the difference between picasso and da vinci? in the ep last post where we were watching him fail at conquering every historical time ever he didnt seem to know history well enough to like. be effective...was vlad taking art history at college?? (was he an art MAJOR??? we never DID KNOW WHAT HE WENT TO SCHOOL FOR. I kinda assumed business because in the masters of time ep he was still rich without ghost powers so he had to have..known something about business or something, right...but also, art and or theater FITS HIS PERSONALITY. possibly also something science-y, I guess, but I always felt like he got roped into that, esp how pessimistic he was about the ghost portal in the flashbacks to college, like, i felt like he was just there for maddie and was uninterested/un-invested at the time...)

-THIS GHOST JUST ELECTROCUTED MADDIE (THE CAT) BITCH!! THATS MY FAVORITE MADDIE!!! vlad going after vortex and being ~shocked~ .....WHEN. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN. THAT YOUR ACTIONS. HAVE CONSEQUENCES!!!

-the way this random man with a camera sees the mayor laying in an alley covered in TRASH AND DECIDES TO TAKE A PICTURE HAHAH

*snap* this ones going in my cringe compilation!

-vlad 'if we're going to defeat vortex, we're going to have to do it together!' *immediately dips after dropping danny off in front of vortex* JKASDFHKJHJKN

-DANNY CAN DUPLICATE!!! ...he couldnt even attack with it, but he DID IT!!! INTO (4) OF HIMSELF!!! SO PROUD!!!!!!!!!!

-'THE ROLLER COASTER EMOTIONS OF A TEENAGER THREATEN MY PLANS!' ...0 self awareness of his own dramatic moodiness. incredible, how dumb this man is. its very close to circling around to endearing, if he was less of an asshole. at least its very very funny to see danny shooting him with tiny lightning bolts anytime he's even slightly irritated! vlad you should be nice to danny anyway. this is what you GET

-...making sandwiches and ice cream and playing video games with your nephew is a totally normal thing. WHY is vlad acting like this is the end of the world. if you were a GOOD UNCLE YOU WOULD ALREADY BE DOING THESE THINGS!!! bitch I make my nephew food all the time and dont forget what he does and doesnt like. if u didnt know danny didnt want tomatoes, thats on u. if u, a grown adult, are gonna piss of the 14 yr old by not letting him win, u deserve to have to pay for the arcade machines he ruins because he now has uncontrollable storm powers because YOU THREW HIM INTO A FIGHT WITH THE STORM GHOST. fuck u vlad. paypal me $400,000 while ur at it tho. (also, gamer vlad confirmed)

-VLAD CAN COOK THOUGH???! I assumed he had...people working for him that did that. I mean. billionaires usually dont do that. then again, we've only seen those vultures working for him (and I guess the dairy king was AT his old mansion, but it was never really clarified if he worked there...I think he probably just Hung Out and they Enjoyed Cheeses Together. thats what I think, I dont think a KING would be working for anyone and also the dairy king was nice <3) but then again he would be a private person and we cant have anyone accidentally finding Ghostly Things, so...still, that's hilarious. pour one out for that really cute banana split that got ruined 2 seconds later

-vlad just fucking picking danny up and THROWING HIM AT VORTEX TWICE WITHIN LIKE A MINUTE. JUST ABSOLUTELY LAUNCHING HIM. BITCH THATS MY SON BE CAREFUL!!! HES GOT ORGANS AND THINGS!!!!

-danny seeing those animal commercials and feeling sad is the biggest 2000s throwback so far. i legitimately had to change the channel or walk out of the room when those came on bc id CRY AND BE SAD ABOUT THEM FOR DAYS AFTER. fuck those commercials and fuck that IN THE ARMMMS OF AN ANGELLLL song 😭

-'vlads ego almost got the town destroyed!' yes danny thats the entire episode. the entire series anytime vlad shows up honestly. this episode was just him being really embarrassing the entire time, and, me laughing about it. 10/10 would laugh at him again

-NEXT EP WE HAVE A SHAPESHIFTING GHOST?? I've said it before but shapeshifting is the power I would want when asked those 'what superpower do you want' questions...its the Best power! this guy looks like a homestuck character. ive never read homestuck but thats the vibe

-I love every time we see tuckers family, they are by far the most functional family. and dash has a lil chihuahua!!! named pookie!!! i am crying (I've had 3 chihuahuas, so I am very biased, but...) AND HE WATCHES THE ROMANCE CHANNEL WITH POOKIE. POOKIE I WILL DIE FOR YOU YOU SWEET LITTLE BABY.

-danny can lift a bus! I shouldn't be surprised, but i am proud of my son. hes got lil kid fans. i am going to cry about this

-JAZZ KEEPS A SCRAPBOOK WITH DANNY'S LIL HEROICS AND NEWSPAPER CLIPPINGS!!! we've actually seen it on her floor before, but I didnt realize it was a scrapbook!! thats sooo cute.

-...and danny has to stand there listening to his parents saying danny phantom sucks and is a 'filthy ghost' and calling him egotistical...i am once again stealing their kids!

-THIS GHOST RIPPING JAZZ'S SCRAPBOOK!!! ILL KILL YOU. SHE WORKED HARD ON THAT!!! BITCH

-yes, maddie, the one with red eyes is For Sure Actually Your Son. ignore the, red eyes... (CLEARLY she hasnt watched the other 2 eps where danny has been evil, she doesnt know red eyes= evil!!!)

-'billy fenton'.......................

-danny being stuck as phantom in his own house, no way out is a fucking NIGHTMARE. his parents pointing giant weapons against him and SHOOTING AT HIM. THIS IS A HORROR MOVIE.

-NINE INCH NAILS POSTER.

-this is the most screenshot of all time

-amorpho turning into mr. lancer because hes 'someone no one will want to be around' BUT HES WRONG, I WOULD BEFRIEND AND HANG OUT WITH MR LANCER SO FAST.

-tucker dressing as danny, now I have the full Tucker set of him being sam and also being danny. also saying 'the ghost...uh...RIPPED MY FACE OFF.' and then running. SMOOTH. NOT AT ALL CONCERNING TO ANY PARENTS.

-sam accepts the toast from jack. and then 2 seconds later is like 'why am i eating this.' THIS SHOWS HUMOR IS SO UNEXPECTED SOMETIMES ITS REALLY GOOD. and then the scene after, mr lancer running into his ghost doppelganger and being like 'YOURE GORGOUS' THEN FAINTING. I AM CRYING. AND DASH FAINTING TOO.

-sam disguising herself as danny again to help tucker run from the fentons. but leaving him shirtless in the streets. incredible. 'plEASE DOnt NOTice MY FACELessNESS I MUST LIVE IN EXILE' this episode is destroying me the humor in this show is exactly my brand of corny and cheesy

-the impromtu story made up by danny and amorpho to explain stuff to the fentons. my god they are both such bad liars. but amorpho is a good egg. wish danny wouldnt have said he didnt wanna see him in town again!! I want him to be reoccurring. not that thats gonna matter since I'm almost done with the series, but the idea of this being the Only Time We See him is :(

-NEXT EP SAYS STARRING MARK HAMILL??????!!! hello ! mr . joker....mr. star wars.... I feel like I should be. idk. taking off a hat im not wearing in respect. I shouldnt be surprised tho bc hes in a lot of cartoons as a very good voice actor, and dp has already had a lot of talented ones so I've been looking out for ones I might know, but....mr. hamill....

-sam has her own greenhouse, names all the plants, and says thank you to them (in the languages from where the plants are from) whenever she harvests from them. thats SO cute. and her lil gothy lunch box...

-and danny's lil red fuzzy lined jacket!!! ive said it before but every time the characters get alt outfits im like :D

-danny has ice powers now!!! THATS WHAT FROSTBITE MEANT. HE KNEW SOMEHOW WAY BACK THEN

-THIS SHOW NEVER LETS YOU FORGET VLAD IS A BILLIONAIRE, HUH.

-danny's lil 'holy hibiscus!' first off the 50s batman swearing is hilarious. 2nd. my username is from the flower sanchoyo hibiscus, so, shoutout to ME this ep. hi :)

-EURGH UNDERGROWTH MAKING EVERYONE PLANT ZOMBIES. HIVEMIND PLOTS SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME. and this dude made the city SO overtaken so quickly like how long was danny asleep?? oh god

-evil fucked up sam! now the whole trio has gone evil at some point! the voice actress did a really, really good job with making her sound like a zombie...

-frostbite's paws are so so so big compared to danny. oh my god. i want to hug the snow dog...

-the far frozen has an advanced medical stuff!!! very cool. very smart snow dogs

-im so glad danny has a friendly ghost snow dad to explain this new power and teach him!!! this is so sweet. DANNY'S GHOST SENSE WAS A PART OF HIS ICE POWER?? OOOH. COOL. we love a training montage!!!

-danny saying if he cant defeat overgrowth, that he'd want to stay with frostbite...oh my god...do you think this is the first real supportive adult figure in his life (I am NOT counting his parents because they threaten him on the daily even if they dont realize it.) I mean mr lancer is a Teacher, but he was also nice but this is different, but this is a GHOST WHO IS WILLING TO HELP HIM with his powers and also will help him when hes injured and is so so nice and comparatively so much more mature than 90% of the adults in this show!!!! god. dad frostbite is my everything.

-the framing and lighting this episode, and all the angles...they went all OUT and it looks really really good. this is my nightmare scenario, tho. like, FUCK zombies and dead city zones and hivemind shit. and using the humans as 'nutrients for the children' i am going to THROW UP.

-MALEFICENT VIBES WITH THE HORNS AND GREEN EYES! this costume kicks so much ass. sam is now mark hamills daughter, I guess.

-danny's ice powers making his eyes blue!!! thats neat. and him going for the roots underground was SO SMART. i will not stand for danny ever thinking hes stupid, hes SO smart.

almost done with the show... :"( thats a sad thought!!!

[recurring-polynya]

@trulytaka​ asked: um i’ve always dreamt about a tattoo artist!renji falling for a client AU. it’s okay if you can’t come up with anything, just a suggestion!

How is it even possible that I have never read a Tattoo Artist! Renji AU?? (If there is one, please, send it to me immediately). Anyway, I got way too enamored of this idea, this is not even remotely a drabble, it is 4400 words and it is incredibly self-indulgent, I am absolutely not sorry.

It takes place in America and everyone is Japanese-American, because I am way more comfortable writing about American tattoo culture. I have never actually read a Tattoo Artist AU, I don’t know how they are supposed to go, this is just based on my own experiences getting inked. It’s mostly a story about Rukia and Renji being incredible nerfballs, there are not nearly enough stories about Rukia being a nerfball around Renji.

Read on ao3 or ff.net

💀     🛹     💕

Izuru Kira found Renji Abarai in the break room, simultaneously trying to cram a burrito into his face and read a Hellboy comic. He was holding the comic open with his elbow in an attempt to avoid spilling guacamole on Abe Sapien.

“Your two o’clock is here,” Izuru informed his distinguished colleague.

“Oh, great!” Renji replied, creasing the foil wrapper into a spout so that he could pour the last of the salsa drippings into his mouth.

“She’s waiting in the consult room,” Izuru went on, watching Renji toss the crumpled foil ball across the room, completely missing the trash can. “Look, have you met her before? A Miss Kuchiki?”

“Just exchanged a few emails,” Renji replied, as he scrubbed his hands at the sink. “Why? Is she scary?”

“Not in the usual way of Abarai clients,” Izuru replied. “I was just… wondering if she was... in the right place.”

“Her request was very specific,” Renji replied, scooping up his comic and the manila folder underneath it. “In fact, I am quite proud of what I came up with for her.” He whipped the folder open.

Izuru stared at it for a moment. “That is so specific.”

“I honestly think this is one of the best tatts I have ever designed. I hope she’s a real weirdo, because not just anyone deserves a masterpiece of this caliber.”

“Mmm,” Izuru agreed. “Yeah. Anyway, if there’s been a, uh, miscommunication, see if you can just… redirect her. Both Momo and I are in today, okay?”

Renji scoffed and stuffed his comic in Izuru’s hand as he marched down the hall toward the consult room. A miscommunication. Renji wondered what was wrong with her. She was probably mousy and wore glasses. Izuru always assumed girls like that would rather have a sad poem about the sea or a sprig of herbs inked on her wrist (conveniently, his specialties). Plenty of mousy girls with glasses would rather rock some fangs or dripping daggers, in Renji’s professional experience.

“Knock knock!” he announced, as he slid the door open. He took one step into the room and stopped dead.

Rukia Kuchiki was not mousy. She did not wear glasses.

Renji didn’t know much about suits. He did not happen to own one himself. But he guessed that Rukia Kuchiki’s suit was expensive, in part because it fit her perfectly, despite her tiny frame. It was jet black, and didn’t have a single speck of lint or cat hair on it. Her perfectly manicured hands were folded neatly on top of her crossed legs. She was wearing very tall, very pointy heels. Their soles were bright red, which Renji had learned from television meant that they were super expensive. He realized that he probably shouldn’t be looking at her legs, even though they were very nice to look at. His eyes snapped up to her face, but that honestly wasn’t any better.

Renji wasn’t often attracted to women, but she had probably the most interesting face he had ever seen-- heart-shaped, with big, dark eyes, a sharp chin, the cutest little nose. Her make-up was subtle and professional, and her hair was swept up with a clip, although it must be fairly short, because a few pieces hung down in front of her ears, and a thick lock dangled between her eyes.

She looked like a mean lawyer from a movie, one that would drive a fancy sportscar like an act of violence. Scary, for sure. But not in the usual way of Abarai clients, who tended toward the large and beefy, not that sharp and sharklike.

That nose, though.

Suddenly, her face split into a big grin. “Hi,” she announced brightly. “I’m Rukia Kuchiki.” She had a deep voice, a very beautiful voice. “You must be Renji Abarai.” Her eyes flicked to his arms. “I mean, of course you are, who else would have those arms? They’re so cool.”

“My arms?” Renji said stupidly. “Are they… famous?”

Rukia’s cheeks flushed. “Oh, well, I follow you on Instagram, and you don’t have any pictures of your face, but your arms are in a lot of the shots and they’re, well, they’re kinda distinctive. Do you think, um, would you mind if I looked at them?”

Renji’s eyebrows shot up. It’s not like he wasn’t used to having his arms checked out, but most people were more… subtle about it. Oh, well, it was her dime. “I didn’t do them myself, obviously,” he pointed out, rolling up the sleeves of his t-shirt so she could see the baboon skull on his left shoulder. A skeletal arm traced down the rest of that arm, complete with an outline of his own hand bones. On the right side, a snake spine coiled around his bicep, ending with a hissing skull. “I mean, it was my design, but my friends-- the other three tattoo artists here-- all helped ink me up.” He plopped down in the chair that sat catty corner to the couch where Rukia was sitting, and held his arms out. “We’re sort of a full-service studio. I’m the skeletons and monsters guy. Izuru, the guy you met on desk duty today-- is good at calligraphy and watercolors and little, itty bitty tattoos. Momo is our nature girl, she specializes in flowers and animals, and she’s great with bright colors. The snake skull was all her. Shuuhei is really into classic tattoo art-- you need a hula girl or a heart with an arrow through it, he’s your man. He’s also incredibly talented at revamping old regret tattoos, there’s good money in that.”

“Mm,” Rukia agreed, finally tearing her eyes away from his forearms to look up at his face, and abruptly turned even pinker. A lot of people fantasized about getting a tattoo and then got a bad case of nerves when it was time to make the leap. Maybe all this was way out of her comfort zone. Renji was trying his best to be friendly and chatty, which usually helped, but he was not used to dealing with this class of lady. He hoped he wasn’t coming off as too familiar.

“Actually,” Rukia went on, pulling on her fingers nervously. “I picked this place specifically because of you. For your work, I mean. I’m kind of a big fan. I saw some of your paintings at an exhibition over at the Fine Arts College, and I just, you know, fell in love. I’d always thought I’d like to get a tattoo someday, and when I found out that you were a tattoo artist, I knew it had to be you. I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time, and I’m babbling and I’m really sorry, I’m just very excited.”

Renji blinked. “You’re not babbling,” he replied slowly. He was sort of hoping she might say some more things about how much she liked his art in her beautiful voice. “Wait, an exhibition at the art school? That must have been at least three years ago, when I was doing my MFA.”

“Er, right,” Rukia looked a little sheepish. “A friend of mine had some work in the same exhibit, you probably don’t know her. My favorite one of your paintings was the one with the Black Lagoon creatures eating hamburgers at a diner, but I also really liked the one that was like a huge monster with a big bone mask stalking through a city, the way you did the shadows was just incredible.”

That particular painting was currently wrapped in brown paper and stuffed behind Renji’s couch. His last boyfriend had told him it was “creepy.”

“Uh, glad you liked it,” Renji managed. “Who was your friend?”

“Her name is Inoue. Orihime Inoue.”

“Oh, the robot girl!” Renji exclaimed. “Er, I mean she drew robots. Constantly. For every assignment. I didn’t mean to imply she was… robotic. In any way.” Jeez, Abarai, pull it together, he chided himself. “Yeah, I remember her. I didn’t know her well, but she sure could draw some tight robots. Is, she, uh, doing well?”

“She’s doing storyboards for a stop-motion animation studio,” Rukia replied.

Renji smiled. “That sounds perfect for her.”

Rukia bit her bottom lip and Renji’s throat went dry.

“So, um, you said in your email that you would have a design for me to look at?”

Renji realized that he was gripping the folder like a doofus. “Right! I did a couple of variations,” he explained, passing it from one hand to the other. “But you explained the concept pretty clearly, and I’m really happy with how the first one came out. I mean, obviously, it’s your tattoo! Please give me any feedback you have, you won’t offend me, even if you hate it! Tattoo designs often take a few iterations, it’s very normal, don’t hold back.”

She was staring at him, those big eyes wide and sparkling. “Can I… see it?”

“Oh! Right!” He shoved the folder at her.

Rukia opened it up and gasped.

“I especially love the way you draw skeletons,” Rukia’s email had read. “Do you think you could tattoo a grim reaper doing a sick kickflip on a skateboard onto my outer bicep? I do lift, so I am pretty jacked, if that makes a difference.”

“It’s perfect,” Rukia sighed in a tiny voice.

“Um, in the first variation (that’s page 2) I added some sunglasses, and in the second one, the grim reaper is flipping the bird and also its head is on fire. I guess I thought that grim reapers should be gender neutral but now I’m wondering if you would have preferred more of a… lady grim reaper?” Renji yammered absently.

“Oh, no,” Rukia murmured softly, flipping through the pages. Renji wasn’t even sure she had listened to a word he had said. “These are amazing. I love the sunglasses, but I also like the way you put little flames in the eye sockets in the first one…” She waved a hand absently. “Oh, and don’t worry, I like a non-binary skeleton.”

A small problem had just occurred to Renji. “Hey, um, please don’t take this the wrong way, but I… may have overestimated the size of your arms.”

“Oh?” Rukia asked, and abruptly shucked off her expensive suit jacket. She was wearing a pale purple sleeveless silk blouse underneath. She held one arm out experimentally, and then flexed. The muscle definition on her bicep made Renji take an involuntary swallow, but the fact that she was wicked cut did not buy him much in the way of real estate.

“I’ll just shrink it down maybe 25%,” he reassured her. “I’ll have to simplify some of the detail on--”

“No,” Rukia frowned, her eyebrows drawing together. “Don’t do that.” She thought for a moment. “I’m not committed to having it on my arm.” She uncrossed her legs and hefted one high-heeled foot onto the coffee table in front of her. “What do you think? Is my thigh big enough?”

Renji tried to make words come out, but it just wasn’t happening.

“Er… sorry,” Rukia said slowly, tugging at her hem. “I forgot I was wearing a skirt today.”

“Huh?” Renji scrambled to recover. He needed to say something. She looked really embarrassed. Say something! Say something professional about her leg! “Sorry, I was, uh, thinking!” Good, good, now keep going. “Don’t be self-conscious, I see people’s bodies all the time. Bodies are no big deal, we all got ‘em, right?” This was true in the abstract sense, but he knew these were blatant lies as they exited his mouth. Most people’s bodies were no big deal. He had only known her for five minutes, but was certain that Rukia Kuchiki’s thighs were a very big deal. He studied her leg, stroking his chin, like he was some kind of anthropologist of thigh tattoos. Mostly he was trying to figure out what would seem like an appropriate amount of time to look at a person’s thigh, a person who was your professional client that you most definitely did not have the hots for. “There’s certainly plenty of room,” he declared. “But, you know, people are going to see it less. Which is a selling point for some people! It’s just a personal decision that you’ll have to make. It sounds like you had a big vision.”

Rukia gingerly placed her foot back on the floor. “I had actually been wondering if maybe the upper arm was too public, anyway,” she admitted. “The fact is, I just got full access to my trust fund, and this is sort of a celebration, but I may have been a little overeager to piss off my big brother. He’s very stodgy.” She contemplated the area of her leg that was covered by her pencil skirt. “But so are a lot of people in my field. I can wait until I’m running my own company before I get started on the full sleeve of my dreams, right?”

“Worked for me,” Renji replied, utterly lost by whatever she was talking about. “What… field are you in?”

“Oh, finance,” she dismissed.

Finance. Of course. Renji tried to shoo away the weight of disappointment that was settling in his stomach. He was talking to a friendly client who was clearly loaded, loved his work, and was contemplating thousands of dollars worth of future business. He should be thrilled. He should probably be trying to sell her one of his old paintings-- they were only gathering dust, anyway. Renji would never break the studio policy about hitting on clients. The fact that she would surely laugh at him if he asked her to his favorite burger joint ought to make things easier, right?

“This is so hard!” Rukia declared, and Renji was shaken from his reverie. She was just contemplating his draft designs again, though, flipping back and forth between them.

“You don’t have to decide right now,” he reassured her. “You can think about it and email me. If you’re happy enough, we can schedule your session, and we’ll work out the details between now and then. Chat it over with your pal MechaHime, she’s got good opinions.” He paused. Momo always said he was too nice during consults, they were running a business, but he couldn’t help it. “Or you can just call back when you’re ready. No pressure.”

Rukia slammed her fist down on her knee. “No! Let’s schedule it! Do I pay now?”

“20% deposit. Let’s go out front, Izuru will ring it up.”

“Perfect.” She looked longingly at the drawings again. “Can I take these with me? You’re absolutely right, Orihime will know what to do.”

Renji wrinkled his nose. “It’s actually against studio policy but…”

Rukia’s face suddenly became very serious. “Then it’s against policy.” She winked at him and smiled. “You should take care of your intellectual property, Mr. Abarai.”

“I never get over to this part of town, to be honest,” Rukia admitted as they walked back up to the front. “Is the taco place across the street any good?”

“Oh, yeah, it’s great,” Renji agreed. “Momo and I painted a huge mural on their wall, so they give us free churros.”

“Are tacos a good post-tattoo celebratory meal?” Rukia asked curiously.

“Well, you actually want to eat beforehand,” Renji pointed out. “It’s important to keep your energy up. I don’t estimate yours should take very long, I’m gonna book you a two-hour slot.”

“Ah, okay,” Rukia agreed, and Renji realized belatedly that...maybe… she had been asking him out? No. Surely not. His brain scrabbled for a response, but then he stepped into the reception area and his brain shut down entirely.

“It’s DONE!” Shuuhei bellowed. “Behold my work, ye mighty, and despair!”

Tetsuzaemon Iba, serial client, yakuza enthusiast, and assistant manager at a doggie day care, was flexing. He was not wearing a shirt.

From behind the reception desk, Kira was wearing a dour frown and shaking his head.

“It’s a masterpiece,” Renji declared. “I admit I was skeptical, but it looks fantastic, man. You happy with it?”

“It” was a massive tattoo, covering the wide landscape of Iba’s broad back. It featured a lucky cat, grinning maniacally, its paw held high. It was on fire. The kanji for “lucky charm” was incorporated somehow. It was a disaster. It was perfect.

“How could I not be?” Iba boomed.

“Whoa,” a tiny voice behind Renji said.

Iba’s face went pale when he realized that he was being Peak Iba in front of an elegant, professional woman whose shoes probably cost more than his entire net worth. “Gimme me my shirt!” he demanded of Shuuhei.

“That’s… amazing!” Rukia exclaimed, her face lighting up. “Wow, how long did that take?”

Shuuhei blinked slowly as he passed Iba his shirt. “Five sessions.”

“Well, it’s so cute!” Rukia announced. “You must love cats.”

Iba lifted at the same gym as Renji and watched Momo’s Pomeranian on Tuesdays and Thursdays. He was a regular fixture at the tattoo studio, and all four of them liked to drag him, but no one, none of them, had ever roasted him this hard. Renji cursed that no-asking-out-clients rule, because he wanted to buy Rukia Kuchiki her own body weight in tacos and then ask her to be his wife.

“He’s more of a dog person,” Shuuhei supplied.

“Great with dogs,” Izuru added.

“Shut up, you jerks, I am a lover of all animals,” Iba grumbled as he pulled his Hawaiian shirt over his shoulders. “Is this your lawyer, Abarai? Did you finally get arrested for that hairstyle?”

“I have an MBA, actually, not a JD,” Rukia replied matter-of-factly. “And I am his client. Can you show that large man my tattoo design? Is that allowed?”

Renji chuckled, and pulled out his drawing.

“That,” Iba declared, “is a wicked tatt.”

“Oh, you showed me that email!” Shuuhei recalled. “It came out great.” He regarded Rukia. “He was really excited about that one, you made his day.”

Rukia just beamed proudly.

“Are we booking a session, then?” Izuru asked hopefully.

“Yeah, two hours,” Renji nodded.

“Let me just finish ringing up Iba, and I’ll see when you’ve got an opening,” Izuru replied.

“This your first one?” Shuuhei asked Rukia conversationally.

“Mm-hmm,” Rukia nodded.

“Well, you made a good choice. Clean design, mostly black with just a few color pops, should go on quick and easy, and it’ll hold up really well, too.”

“This is Shuuhei, the one I was telling you about, who fixes a lot of bad tattoos.”

“I have never had to fix an Abarai tattoo,” Shuuhei declared. “He’s great with first timers. Very gentle. I’ve fallen asleep while he was inking me.” Shuuhei pointed to the pair of crossed scythes gracing his upper arm. “This is one of his.”

“Oooh, neat!” Rukia agreed.

“You’re being embarrassing,” Renji informed his friend.

“Always,” Shuuhei agreed. “Nice to meet you! I hope I get to see the finished product.” He waved to Iba as he headed off toward the back. “Don’t forget to moisturize!”

“Everyone’s so friendly here,” Rukia said softly to Renji. “This isn’t at all like I pictured it.”

Renji stretched his arms behind his head. “Nah, we’re just a bunch of goofballs who like drawin’ on people. Very lowkey.”

“I guess I’ve thought a lot about the getting tattooed part of getting tattooed, but I never thought of it as… a job. That people have.”

“It’s a great job,” Renji replied. “I love it. I’m just lucky that Izuru over there has enough business sense to keep the other three of us from running it into the ground.”

“That’s certainly the truth,” Izuru agreed, as Iba headed out the door. “Two hours, you said? Renji’s got a 4-6pm block open on a Wednesday, three weeks from now. The 24th, how does that work for you, Ms. Kuchiki?”

“Do you think that’s enough time to settle on a design?” Renji asked. “If you come up with changes, it should only take me a day or two to incorporate them.”

“Oh! Yes, three weeks should be fine. I thought… it might be a little sooner,” Rukia replied, sounding a tad disappointed.

“Abarai’s a busy man, three weeks is actually pretty quick,” Izuru explained.

“Right, of course!” Rukia nodded. “Yes, I’ll take the 24th!”

She then paid her deposit, a process which involved her taking approximately ten thousand items out of her purse, including a full-sized drawing pad, a single fingerless glove, and a Pez dispenser with a duck head. She was the most contradictory person Renji had ever met, and he just wanted to know everything about her. But instead, they were going to exchange a couple of emails about a grim reaper on a skateboard, he was going to spend an hour and a half two inches from her naked thigh in a state of intense, non-sexual concentration, and then he would likely never see her again.

“Okay, I guess that’s it!” Rukia said, stuffing the last of her worldly belongings back into the purse. “Three weeks, then!”

“Three weeks it is,” Renji agreed. “Unless we happen to run into each other at the taco place.”

Rukia blinked. “Oh!” she exclaimed. “Right. Ha, ha, of course!” She’d been walking backwards toward the door, an impressive feat in those heels, and she spun suddenly to pull it open.

“It’s a push,” Renji and Izuru chorused together.

“Ha, ha, of course it is!” Rukia laughed nervously, and ducked out.

Izuru stared pointedly at Renji. “Wow,” he said.

“I don’t know what you have against her,” Renji scowled. “So she’s professional. She was really nice. She’s a big fan of my work.”

Izuru cocked his head. “She’s clearly also a big fan of you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Renji said.

“Look, I’m sorry I implied that a person who drives a Lotus Exige would not be interested in having your weird skeleton doodles permanently placed on her body,” Izuru held up his hands, “but did you really not notice the little hearts and singing birds floating around her head every time she gazed longingly at you?”

“Since when do you know anything about cars?” Renji snapped.

“It looked fancy and I asked Shuuhei what it was, okay!”

On cue, Shuuhei burst back into the reception area, Momo close on his tail. “Are we talking about the hot client who has a crush on Abarai?”

“Did you ask her out?” Momo asked breathlessly.

“She’s not really his type,” Izuru mused. “Very corporate.”

Renji frowned. Did he have a type? If his type excluded people like Rukia Kuchiki, he might need to get a new type.

“Who cares, she was adorable!” Momo insisted. “I woulda asked her out.”

“Renji, if you go out with her, can you get me a ride in the Exige?” Shuuhei added.

“I’m not gonna ask her out!” Renji protested. “What happened to the no-hitting-on-clients rule?”

“The rule is no creeping on clients,” Shuuhei correctly. “This is different. She’s clearly into you, big time.”

“Also, she seems non-terrible, unlike the questionable human beings you usually take up with,” Izuru pointed out. “We could relax the rule if it netted you an actually decent partner for a change.”

Renji scowled judgmentally at Izuru, as if his own dating history had been remotely better before he and Shuuhei finally hooked up.

“Oh!” Momo waved her phone. “Speaking of which, I googled her, like you told me to, Izuru--”

“Izuru!” Renji protested.

“--and you were right! She’s not just one of the Kuchikis, she’s the granddaughter!” Momo thrust her phone in Renji’s face. It was some article about some fancy charity event, complete with a picture that was clearly Rukia, dressed in a dramatic black and gold evening gown.

Renji wanted to push Momo’s hand away, but he also didn’t want to stop looking at Rukia in that dress. “The who?” he asked.

Izuru and Momo sighed dramatically in synchronized exasperation.

“Embarrassingly rich old money family? I don’t know what they actually do, but they’re always in the newspapers, donating money for something or other--”

“Billionaire philanthropists,” Shuuhei intoned in a fake deep voice.

“--I heard they’re descended from some famous clan of samurai back in Japan,” Momo ignored him. She jerked her phone back and started tapping at it frantically. “I’m sure you’ve seen pictures of the grandson-- Rukia’s brother, I guess. He always makes those lists of top ten hottest bachelors.”

“He’s dreamy,” Shuuhei seconded.

“Impossibly dreamy,” Izuru thirded.

Momo flipped her phone around again, to reveal a picture of a very serious, and very handsome man in a classic three-piece wool suit. Renji supposed “impossibly dreamy” was not an inaccurate description.

“Yeah, I think I’ve seen pictures of that guy before,” Renji shrugged. “He’s okay. Rukia has a more interesting face, I think.”

Momo and Shuuhei exchanged raised eyebrows.

“You do like her, then?” Izuru asked, his face brightening. “You’re wrong, by the way, Byakuya Kuchiki has the face of an angel.”

“Rukia says he’s stuffy,” Renji shrugged. “And fine. I like her. She’s cute and nice and had good taste in tattoos. What’s not to like?”

“Are you gonna ask her out, then?” Momo pressed.

“Absolutely not,” Renji replied. “She’s my client. Besides, as you just pointed out, she’s loaded. What’s she want with a scumbag like me?”

All three of his friends groaned.

“You have good delts and sexy hair,” Izuru pointed out.

“You give amazing hugs!” Momo declared.

“You draw fantastic skeletons,” Shuuhei added. “Which, apparently, is relevant to her interests, and not a thing you usually find on Tindr.”

“Also, we’ve already established that she does like you, regardless of whether she has a valid reason for doing so,” Izuru concluded. “So, if you’re at all interested, you really shouldn’t let that stop you.”

“I think you should go for it,” Momo encouraged.

“Me, too,” Shuuhei agreed.

Renji grimaced. She was an amazing girl, too good to be true probably. If she had any sense at all, she would certainly turn him down. But maybe… just maybe… she didn’t have any sense. “Okay,” he grudgingly agreed. “I’ll do it. But not until I’m finished the damn tattoo!”

[440mxs-wife]

Tea of Love

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Other Characters: Sam, Castiel, Crowley, Rowena

Imagine: You’re hunting a witch with Sam and Dean, only to fall victim to her curse.

A/N: This is my contribution to the SPN Bi-Weekly Writing Challenge offered by @supernatural-jackles. I signed up to contribute on a monthly basis, but it looks like I missed the deadline. Here it is all the same. Enjoy!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dean parked the Impala a good distance away from the two-story farmhouse. Far enough away to be hidden from sight, but still within running distance for a quick getaway if needed.

You had received word that a witch was causing trouble, and had tracked her to the town of Smithville, Arkansas. The plan was to sneak in to the house, with you going in through the back entrance, while Sam and Dean went in through the front door.

"All right, weapons check," Dean whispered. Each of you ejected the clip from your handguns, yours from your .380, to make sure it was full of witch-killing bullets. Satisfied, you re-inserted the clip and pulled back on the hammer so that a round was in the chamber. After a successful weapons check, Sam went up the steps and started picking the lock on the front door.

"Ready?" you asked as you turned to head for the back door.

Dean nodded. "Hey? Be careful," he remarked softly.

You sent him a quick smile. "Always, Dean. See you inside," you replied. You and Sam be careful too, Dean, you said in silent prayer.

Quickly and quietly, you made your way to the back door. The wooden steps to the porch looked like they had seen too many blistering summers and frostbitten winters to still be stable. You carefully climbed the steps, sticking to the edges where the wood appeared to be less worn.

You gingerly tested the doorknob, only to find that it turned easily in your hand. An unlocked door could mean one of two things: a careless witch or you had just walked into her trap. While you were hoping for the first option, with your luck, you had a feeling it was probably door #2. You tiptoed through the kitchen, through the living room and down the hall to the bedrooms. First bedroom on the right was clear, second one across the hall was also clear.

As you carefully approached the last bedroom, you realized that you hadn't seen Sam or Dean yet. You stopped and strained your ears for any confirmation that they had even entered the house yet. Just as you were about to resume your progress towards the bedroom door, you felt a hand on your shoulder. You whipped around, only to be confronted by the mossy green orbs of one Dean Winchester.

With your heart hammering in your chest, you took a moment for it to return to normal before continuing your trek down the hall. "What is wrong with you?" you hissed. "You shouldn't just sneak up on me like that!"

"Well, excuse me," he shot back. "First of all, I didn't expect for you to have gotten this far without running into the witch. And 'B', isn't it better to go in knowing you have backup than only hoping you do?" he retorted.

You took a deep breath before answering. "You're right. Sorry Dean," you whispered. "Let's get this witch taken down so we can blow this popstand," you replied.

Dean nodded and motioned for you to continue down the hall. You turned the doorknob and slowly swung the door open. You entered the room first to assess the situation, while Dean stood just outside the door, ready to bust in if needed.

The witch had her back to you as she sprinkled something into a bowl. All of a sudden she raised her arms above her head as if in victory and turned to face the doorway. "I was wondering when you hunters were going to show up. I've been expecting you," she smirked.

Before you could raise your weapon, she picked up the bowl and threw its contents at you. The blue powder from the bowl doused you almost completely from head to toe. As she chanted some words in Latin, the powder started to glow and burn a bit wherever it touched bare skin. You cried out in pain, at which time Dean entered the room and fired his weapon. The witch fell to the floor, dead from the witch-killing bullet he fired.

"Dean," you pleaded softly as you started to feel faint.

"Whoa, hold on there. Stay with me, sweetheart," Dean said as he rushed to catch you before you could hit the floor. He called out for Sam, who had finally caught up with you and Dean. Sam scooped you up in his arms and carried you out to the Impala.

Dean filled him in on what had happened between you and the witch. "I don't know what kind of spell she got hit with, so we're going to have to be ready for just about anything," Dean said grimly.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You carefully opened your eyes enough to notice that you were back in your room, in your bed instead of the backseat of the Impala. You decided to sit up, only to be met with a splitting headache. A groan of pain escaped your lips as you eased back onto your pillow and draped your bandaged arm across your eyes.

There was a soft knock at your door, then you heard it creak open. "Hiya, sweetheart," Dean said softly. "How're you feeling?" he asked.

"Like I got hit by a truck. Twice," you grumbled.

Dean chuckled. "Here, I gotcha," he said as he handed you a couple of painkillers and a bottle of water. He helped you up to a sitting position, putting pillows between your back and the headboard.

"Thank you," you replied. "What the hell happened? The last thing I remember is that witch throwing a bowl of some kind of powder at me. Then I remember her chanting something, the powder burning into my skin, then you killed her," you finished.

"Well, that's about it, you collapsed after that and we brought you back here in the Impala," Dean explained. "Sam brought you in and put you on your bed," he remarked.

"How long was I out?" you asked.

"You've been out for about a day and a half, sweetheart," he remarked softly. "We called Rowena to see if she could tell what you may have been hit with, so we'd know how to counteract it. And, oh yeah, Crowley tagged along, just so you know," he grumbled.

"Oh. Fabulous," you deadpanned. "I'll bet he's just been a joy to be around," you snorted.

Dean laughed. "Yeah, he said he was bored in Hell, so he latched on to Mummy's magic bag to show up here," he grinned.

You reached over and took Dean's hand in yours. "Hey, in case I forgot to tell you, Dean....thank you for getting me out of there and taking care of me here," you remarked softly.

He shifted a little in his seat and nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, sure, no problem. All in a day's work, you know," he said as he jumped up from the chair. "Um, I'm uh....gonna just....yeah. I'll check in on you later," Dean then bolted out of your room.

What the hell was that all about? you thought, as you replayed the conversation in your mind. When you got to the part where you took his hand, you mentally smacked yourself in the forehead. He was fine until then, you realized. After that it was awkward, because he doesn't want you to get the wrong idea. He's telling you that he doesn't think of you in 'that way'. You leaned your head back against the headboard and squeezed your eyes shut, willing the tears not to fall.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It's been almost ten years since you came to live in the bunker. You met the Winchesters through a mutual friend, Sheriff Donna Hanscum, whom you've known since high school. She never knew you were a hunter until after Sam and Dean showed up at that spa she went to. You had caught wind of some strange things happening at that spa, so you went in with her, but undercover as a patient.

You and Sam clicked instantly, becoming best friends. You both nerded out about the same things, like books, sci-fi, and research. You liked the same kinds of movies and were more at home in a library than the bar.

You and Dean were a different story. At first, you didn't get along at all, because he thought you would be someone else he'd have to be responsible for. That is, until you stepped in front of the swipe of a werewolf's claws to save his life. Despite your condition, you still managed to fire off three silver bullets at its heart to kill it before collapsing from your injury. After that, Dean seemed to see you as a fellow hunter, rather than a civilian he had to constantly keep watch over.

Too bad he didn't also see you as a woman--full of passion, kindness and understanding, with eyes only for him. You watched as he showered his attention and affections on countless other women, just not on the one woman who truly knew and loved him. So, you handled your feelings by using the Winchester Method: you shoved them down out of the way and pretended that they didn't exist.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A couple of hours later, you carefully got out of bed and wandered into the kitchen. You picked up the teakettle, filled it with water and added several pinches of your special blend of tea. While you waited, you grabbed your favorite cup from the cabinet and took a seat at the table.

"Well hello, dear! Nice to see ye up and around, 'specially after what ye've been through, darlin'," a voice from behind you said. You turned to see it was Rowena, which brought a small smile to your face.

"Hello, Rowena," you replied. "Any luck figuring out what we're up against?" you asked.

"Not yet, dearie. Still workin' on it, but don't ye worry abou' it," Rowena assured you.

"I hope so," you murmured. "Would you like some tea?" you asked.

Rowena shook her head and smiled. At that moment, Sam, Dean and Castiel came into the kitchen and walked over to the table. Sam and Cas each squeezed your shoulder as they took their seats. "Hey, sweetheart, you must be feeling better," Dean remarked as he kissed the top of your head.

You smiled and nodded. The teakettle whistled that it was ready to serve, so you rose from the table. "You guys want some tea? I made some from my secret stash," you grinned.

The boys all nodded, so you got out three extra cups, along with the cream, sugar and honey. You poured cups of tea for everyone, then resumed your seat at the table. You added a bit of creamer and some sugar to your tea.

"So, what's in this 'special blend' of tea you made?" Sam asked.

"Well, it's got some dried orange zest in it, some cinnamon, black tea leaves, ground nutmeg. And a few other secret ingredients," you winked conspiratorially.

"Mmm, I think it's delicious," Cas remarked as he took another sip, with Sam nodding in agreement.

Dean watched as you absently stirred your tea, while the others talked among themselves. Your furrowed brow showed him you were still coming to terms with what had happened in the past few days.

It had not yet been determined what kind of curse you'd been hit with, and he knew you had to be worried. Your eyes glistened a bit with unshed tears which told him you might be more than a little scared of that unknown. You stood up from the table just as he was about to reach out for your hand to comfort you.

"I think I'll go take a shower. Might feel a bit more human if I do, after wearing the same clothes for the past few days. Excuse me," you murmured as you left the kitchen. Dean stared after you, wanting so badly to help you. To show you it was okay to be scared, and that he would do everything in his power to figure out how to reverse the spell.

At that moment, Crowley waltzed into the kitchen. "Hello, Mother, Feathers, Moose, Squirrel," he drawled. "Where's our little Mouse? Can't complete the clubhouse roll call unless she's here to sound off," he smirked.

"She left to go take a shower," Dean grumbled as he brushed past Crowley out of the kitchen.

Crowley noticed Dean's full cup of tea and took a drink. "This is wonderful, delicious, wherever did it come from?" he asked. Sam told him it was from your own homemade blend of tea and spices. Crowley shrugged and continued to drink the tea.

As the men continued to drink the tea, Rowena noticed a bit of a change in each one. Their thoughts seemed to become more focused towards you, and had also turned more amorous in nature. Before she could voice her observations, Sam left the table after downing the rest of his tea.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After your shower, you brought your favorite book and settled into a chair in the library. Once you had made yourself comfortable, Sam approached you and knelt beside your chair. He smiled up at you as he took your hand in his and brushed his lips across the back of it.

"Sam, what's going on?" you asked in bewilderment.

"N-nothing, I just wanted to spend some time with you, be around you. What book are you reading?" he asked.

You were a bit confused at the sudden focus of Sam's attention on you. But you pushed it aside for the moment and explained the plot of the book you were reading. He asked if he could read it aloud to you, which you politely declined. Then he broke out the best version of his puppy-dog eyes, and you were powerless to resist. You relented with a smile, and he suggested that you curl up with him on the couch to be more comfortable.

Moving from your chair to the couch, you made sure to bring your favorite blanket with you. Once you got all settled, you showed Sam where you left off in your book so he could start reading. The gentle lilt of Sam's voice as he read to you caused your eyelids to feel heavy until you could no longer keep them open.

Dean walked through the library just in time to see you curled up with Sam, and for Sam to press a kiss to your forehead. An uncomfortable feeling settled into his chest, but he had no idea why. He shook it off for the moment and headed for the garage to work on the Impala.

About an hour later, you awoke to find Sam's arms around you and his cheek pressed against your forehead. You tried to extract yourself, but Sam tightened his embrace a bit more. "Mmm, don't go Baby, stay here with me a little longer," he mumbled.

Baby? you wondered. Since when am I 'Baby' to anyone around here?!? your thoughts screamed.

You managed to wriggle yourself out of his arms and into a upright position. "Sam, wake up. Sam! Wake up!" you shook his arm to try and rouse him. Your efforts were unsuccessful, because he stayed asleep. Puzzled, you picked up your book and your blanket then returned to your room.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next morning, you woke to find that Castiel had set the table for the two of you to have breakfast. "Good morning," he greeted you with a wide smile.

Not quite awake yet, you answered him with a yawn then a smile. "Good morning, Cas. What's going on here?" you asked, gesturing towards the table.

"I thought it would be nice to have breakfast made for you when you awakened, Honeybee," he stated.

'Honeybee'? What is going on with the men in this bunker lately?!? you thought. "Well, you certainly brought out one of my favorites, peanut butter and banana toast," you grinned.

You reached for two slices of bread from the wrapper. Cas took them from your hands before you could put them in the toaster. "Please, allow me," he said. He added the bread to be toasted and proudly pushed down on the lever.

When it was finished, the bread popped up, perfectly golden brown, with no burnt edges. Cas placed the toast on a plate and set it on the table. Just as he was about to pick up the knife to spread the peanut butter, you stopped him. "Cas, not that I don't appreciate it, but I don't mind fixing my own toast. You've done so much already, why don't you take a little break?" you suggested.

His face fell a bit, then all of a sudden lit up. "I just remembered that you like to drink milk with your peanut butter toast. Be back in just a moment," he grinned, tapping the end of your nose before heading to the fridge. Cas returned shortly with a small glass of cold milk. "Here you are, Honeybee," he remarked shyly.

"Thank you, Cas. Exactly what I needed. So, what are your plans today?" you asked.

"I'm glad you asked. I was going to see if you would like to go on a walk with me, maybe see some wildflowers? I know of a lovely field we could visit, if you are interested....?" he asked, his voice full of hope.

You were planning on doing some research to try and find something to counteract the curse. You also didn't want to be too far away from the bunker in case a cure was found. From the look on Castiel's face, though, you couldn't bear to disappoint him.

"That sounds lovely, Cas. We could leave in an hour, if you wish. That would give me time to finish my breakfast, take a shower and all that," you added.

"I shall endeavor to keep myself busy until you return, my sweet Honeybee," Cas said as he took hold of your hand and gently kissed the back. With a whoosh of his wings, he was gone.

As soon as he had gone out of sight, you slumped over the table, putting your head in your hands. Dean arrived in the kitchen shortly after hearing you let out a groan of frustration. "What's with you this morning?" he asked.

You returned to an upright position. "Good morning, Dean. Cas made me breakfast today, which was very sweet, and now he wants me to go with him to check out a field of wildflowers. I think there's something very strange going on around here. I wish I knew what it was," you grumbled.

"Why is Cas wanting to spend time with you and do things for you 'strange'? Do you not enjoy his company? I mean, if you don't want to go, just tell him. Don't string him along, Princess," Dean retorted.

You looked at Dean with a mixture of shock, anger and hurt on your face. "Like I said, something strange is going on around here. First Sam, then Cas, now you," you retorted as you bolted from your chair.

Dean closed his eyes and instantly felt remorse for what he had said, because he knew you weren't like that. You didn't play games with people's emotions, and when you loved someone, you did it with your whole heart. Unfortunately, doing so had led to your heart being broken by too many others along the way.

He understood about your independent nature, which was one of the things he admired about you. To have anyone do anything for you was sometimes hard for you to accept. You were so used to being the one who cared for or catered to others, not so much the other way around.

As he gave it more thought, he realized that neither Sam nor Cas had shown any romantic interest in you until recently. Dean began to wonder if maybe you had a point about strange things going on in the bunker. He promised himself that when you came back from your outing with Cas, that he would apologize.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You and Cas spent a lovely afternoon walking through a field of wildflowers. Cas told you about every species of flower and what each color meant. He found a spot underneath a willow tree, where he produced a picnic basket containing assorted fruits and cheeses. You showed him how to make flower crowns as someone had once shown you. Then you placed one on his head and took a picture.

Upon your return to the bunker, you searched for a vase to hold the wildflowers you and Cas had picked. As you arranged the flowers, Cas placed his hands on your shoulders, then began to run them up and down your arms. When you had finished with the flowers, Cas took one of your hands in his and led you into the library.

Cas punched some buttons on his phone. After appearing quite frustrated at times, he finally relaxed and music started playing from his phone. He pulled you into his arms and started dancing with you, a love-struck grin on his face.

At one point, Cas spun you out away from him, which is the exact moment that Dean walked into the library. He looked at you and Cas dancing with a raised eyebrow, which caused your face to grow warm. "C-Cas, th-thank you for a lovely afternoon," you stammered. "Sorry," you mumbled as you brushed past Dean and out of the room.

"Cas? Is there something going on between you two?" Dean asked.

A large grin spread across Cas' face as he sighed deeply before answering Dean's question. "I'm not sure, Dean. I've never felt the way I do except when I'm with her. I would be the luckiest man in all of Creation if she loved me," he answered dreamily. Then he seemed to snap back to reality. "I must go, I am needed elsewhere," Cas said, returning to what Dean considered "normal" for Cas.

Dean shook his head, even more confused as to what was going on. First, you were snuggled up with Sam, then dancing with Castiel. He decided to check in with Rowena to see if she knew anything more.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

While Dean was in the library trying to figure things out, you were sitting on the edge of your bed trying to do the same thing. A knock on your door interrupted your thoughts. Your visitor was literally the last person you ever expected to see. Crowley had on an apron, covered in flour and bits of what looked like cake batter stuck to it.

"Good evening, Love," he bowed and took your hand in his. "I was wondering if you would consider, um, helping me with a small problem. You see, someone told me you were a fan of cheesecakes, and I ran into some difficulty trying to make you one. Might I request the honor of your assistance in the kitchen, so you can show me the proper....technique?" he suggested.

It took every ounce of self-control you had not to break out into laughter or tears. The absurd events of the last two days were leading you to believe the witch put an insanity curse on you. Quickly regaining your composure, you told Crowley that you would meet him in the kitchen in about 10 minutes. "Until then, my darling," he remarked softly, placing a lingering kiss on your cheek.

As soon as the door was closed, you sank down on the edge of the bed again. "This is too weird," you whispered to yourself. "Now Crowley wants to spend time with me?? This is some curse I've got on me. I think it's making me lose my mind," you mused.

When you opened your door, you heard a heated argument occurring in the kitchen between Sam, Cas and Crowley. You walked slowly to the kitchen, catching bits and pieces of the harsh words spoken between the men. Each one claimed to love you more than the other two, and promised to fight anyone who dared try and take you away.  Insults were traded and fists were raised, ready to do battle.

You turned around and were headed back to your room when you ran smack into Dean. "Well, Princess, looks like you hit the jackpot in there," he snarled, his arms folded across his chest.

"I--" was all you could say.

"Congratulations, you've got every woman's fantasy going on in that kitchen. Three men fighting for her affections," he taunted.

"Not every woman, Dean. Not me," you choked out as you pushed away from him, tears streaming down your face.

Dammit! How did I end up doing and saying the exact opposite of what I wanted? Dean thought. I need to go talk to Rowena, see if she knows anything else about this curse, he decided. First things first, though, he was going to put a stop to what was happening in the kitchen.

"ENOUGH!" he thundered. Sam, Castiel and Crowley all turned to look at Dean. "Everyone retreat to a neutral corner until we can figure out what's going on," he ordered.

Dean turned down the hallway to Rowena's room. As he came around the corner, you briefly met his gaze as you passed him in the hallway, only to quickly drop it again. Dean reached out his hand for yours. "Wait," he pleaded.

You shook your head at him, fresh tear tracks evident on your cheeks. "No, Dean. I don't want to talk to you right now. I never meant for any of this to happen. I think it's best if I remove myself from the equation for the time being. At least until Rowena can figure out how to reverse the spell," you finished. With that, you closed and locked your bedroom door.

Dean's heart ached to hear the pain in your voice and to see your tear-stained face. He knocked on Rowena's door and entered her room when she granted him access. "What can I do fer ye, Dean?" she asked in her lilting accent.

He mentioned how he had just left the kitchen, where Sam, Cas and her beloved son were fighting over you. "They've all been paying extra attention to her, being all romantic and stuff. What's weird, is that they've never even shown any kind of interest in her before," Dean explained.

"Sam's reading with her and snuggling on the couch, Cas is taking her out for a picnic and to pick wildflowers." He turned to Rowena, pointed his finger at her and narrowed his eyes. "Your son is wearing an apron, asking her to teach him how to bake a damn cheesecake," he huffed. "I swear, it's as if that witch cast a--" he broke off.

"A love spell?" Rowena asked. "Tha's exactly what it was," she confirmed.

"Can you reverse it?" Dean asked.

"I can, but.....," she started.

"But what?" Dean asked.

"It's no' real love that Samuel, Castiel and Fergus have for her. When they realize that fact, it's bound to be a bit awkward at first. They may act a little distant towards her, and she will think she’s done something wrong to make them pull away. She'll believe that the friendship she has with each of them has been ruined, that it's over. It could break her kind and generous heart," Rowena explained.

Dean dropped his gaze to the floor. He knew Rowena was right, and that you would probably isolate yourself in an attempt to maintain order in the bunker.

"Of course, once the right man declares his feelings for the wee lassie, her heart will mend. In time, anyway. Then Samuel, Castiel and Fergus won't feel like they have to stay away from her," she continued.

Dean noticed how she had suddenly focused her attention on him and scoffed. "Whoa, do you mean me? That I should declare my feelings for her? I'm not--"

"Aren't ye?" Rowena asked softly. "Search your heart, Dean. Ye've been in love with her for a while now, haven't ye? Seeing her together with another man, let alone three? Doing the type of romantic things that ye've thought abou' doin' with her? I'd say it's enough to make any normal man just a wee bit jealous. I can only imagine what it's doin' to ye," she remarked.

"Pfft," was the best response he could muster for the moment. "Start working on that spell reversal. I need to head into town for some supplies," Dean replied.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next morning, Rowena announced that she had prepared the antidote for the witch's love spell. Turns out, it was your tea that had triggered the exaggerated feelings of love. You touched the tea blend with your fingers to add it to the water in the teakettle. Then, the effects of the spell were transferred to whomever drank the tea.

Each man drank the concoction and waited for its effects to kick in, which didn't take long once the antidote was consumed. As predicted, there were profuse apologies to you from all three men. They all assured you that though they didn't think of you romantically, they still loved you in their own way. You smiled and assured them that you were fine, no harm done, that you knew that the right someone was still out there.

But behind your closed bedroom door, it was a different story. At night, you laid awake, staring at the ceiling. You understood that their attention to you was only because of the spell.

You remembered how Sam, Castiel and Crowley all looked at you. You tried not to think about how it would feel to have Dean look at you just once the way they did. Still, you knew that the chances of Dean feeling that way about you for real were slim to none. Especially after everything he said while the others were under the spell.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Today marked a full week since you'd gone into hiding, emerging only for little more than a shower and something to eat. You took most of your meals in your room, instead of eating at the table with everyone else. Dean was growing increasingly worried about you, and was determined to get you to break out of your sanctuary.

He knocked at your door relentlessly, trying to coax you out with offers of a movie marathon with your favorite snacks. He even suggested a midnight stargazing outing in the Impala. However, nothing seemed to be working.

At one point you heard, "You can't ignore me forever, sweetheart," he muttered against your door. Oh yeah? You thought defiantly. Watch me.

Halfway through week two of your self-imposed exile, you needed a new book to read. You carefully unlocked and opened your bedroom door, then looked down the hall. No one was in sight in either direction, so you tiptoed out of your room and into the library. You chose a nice, thick book, then rushed back to your room before anyone could see you. Once back inside your room, you quickly closed and re-locked the door, breathing a deep sigh of relief.

"Hey, sweetheart," a voice rumbled from someone sitting in the chair in the corner.

The heavy book dropped from your hands and nearly fell on your toes. You gasped in surprise and clutched at your hammering heart. "What did I tell you about sneaking up on me?!? Not to do it, if I recall," you retorted.

"Didn't really leave me much choice, though, did you? I wasn't sure if you ever wanted to see me again, but I wanted to see you. Been hiding in here for almost two weeks now," Dean remarked softly.

"I've had my reasons, Dean. This whole curse thing has left me more confused than ever. Sam, Cas and even Crowley never thought of me romantically until that spell came along. And you? You've made your feelings clear about the whole situation at every turn.

"So," you continued. "On the one hand, it takes a 'love spell' for guys like Sam, Cas and Crowley to want to be with someone like me. On the other hand, when I am with someone like them, you don't like it and make nasty remarks about the whole thing. Please tell me, Dean, where's the incentive to make me want to be anywhere but in my room by myself? Hmm?" you challenged.

Dean rose from the chair in the corner and strode over to the door where you were still standing. He stood close enough for you to detect his woodsy cologne, mixed with the mint of his mouthwash. He reached up and tenderly tucked a stray lock of hair behind your ear.

"I understand how you feel. But, before I do this, I need you to know that I have always loved you," he said softly. The hand that had so recently fixed your hair slid around to the back of your head. It pulled you closer until your lips meshed with Dean's in a hungry, demanding kiss.

Dean swallowed the soft moan of pleasure that escaped your lips. His free arm snaked around your waist to bring you flush against his body. His kisses roamed everywhere, trying to leave no territory untouched. Your cheeks, your neck, collarbone and more was all fair game for Dean. "So beautiful," he murmured against your shoulder.

"Dean," you whispered. You reached up to cup Dean's face with your hands, stroking his cheek with your thumbs. You tangled your fingers into his spiky hair and gently tugged on it, earning a groan of appreciation.

Dean's hands roamed up and down your back, gripping and releasing the fabric of your shirt. When the need for air became too great, the kissing was broken, leaving you and Dean each trying to catch your breath. You put your foreheads together as your breathing slowly returned to normal.

Dean took your hands and guided you to sit next to him on the edge of your bed. "Baby, I'm so sorry for what I said to you before when that whole thing with the spell was going on. I guess it was because I was jealous of Sam, Cas and even Crowley," he admitted with a sheepish grin.

"Oh, my love. There wasn't anything to be jealous of. It was kind of weird, all of a sudden having those guys chasing after me," you giggled. You brought your hand down to cup his cheek, running your thumb over his stubbled jawline. "It's always been you that I've been in love with for so long. But, I thought you'd only ever see me as a fellow hunter, or at most, a best friend. Never as the woman who loves you," you replied softly.

"Darlin', what I see before me is a woman who lights up a room whenever she walks into it. A woman with a kind and generous heart that tends to put the needs of others before her own. I see a woman with an exceptional sense of humor, who's smart and sexy as hell. And just as she has chosen me, I choose her. Every time," he finished.

"I love you, Dean," you said softly.

"I love you too, sweetheart," he replied as he leaned in to recapture your lips in a soft, sweet kiss.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tags: @supernatural-jackles @wayward-mikaelson @jawritter @deanwanddamons @janicho88 @magssteenkamp @lyarr24 @miss-nerd95 @hobby27 @jay-and-dean @waywardbaby

[ricksbowen]

simply, utterly | pt. 4

IN WHICH: ricky makes your homecoming a whole lot better than you’d like to admit.

INSPIRATION: fair-weather friend — bruno major, prom queen — catie turner

A/N: i really suggest listening to fair-weather friend while reading this. i’m casting harrison osterfield as the harrison in my story because i love him, thanks

pt. 1, pt. 2, pt. 3, pt. 4, pt. 5, pt. 6, pt. 7

“So that’s it?”

“Apparently,” Ricky groaned, hugging his pillow as he explained his situation to Big Red for what felt like the 5th time. He had explained everything, from the moment the both of you shared while singing to your words after both of you kissed. The redhead’s brows were furrowed in thought and his eyes were staring into blank space. He was thinking; that was never good. “Big Red?”

Big Red shushed him, murmuring, “I’m thinking.” A few more seconds of silence followed until the trance Big Red was in broke. “Yeah, I got nothing. You’re fucked, man.”

“I know!” Ricky stuffed his face into his pillow, letting out a muffled scream while Big Red patted his back. “Why do I like her?”

“That’s what I was thinking about. I thought you hated her, Ricky.”

“I thought so too!” Ricky yelled, his voice quieted by the pillow in his face. Big Red patted his back sympathetically, shaking his head to himself until an idea popped into his head. Immediately, he started hitting Ricky, a smile growing on his face while Ricky only winced at his hits.

“Hey— Red!” Ricky groaned, rubbing the area where Big Red hit him while Big Red ignored his complaints.

“Dude. Homecoming is coming up,” Big red exclaimed, eyes looking at Ricky expectedly. He expected a reaction to come out of him, a sudden realization at what Big Red was trying to imply, only to find nothing.

“Okay. So what?”

“So, you idiot,” Big Red drawled out, rolling his eyes at how oblivious Ricky could be. Did he really have to explain his genius plan? “You take her! Ask her out!” The encouraging grin on his face grew with each word he spoke.

“You’re aware that she wants nothing to do with me,” Ricky deadpanned, raising a brow at Big Red.

Big Red waved his worries away with his hand, blowing a small raspberry as he did. “Just ask her out! What do you have to lose?” Big Red asked, raising his eyebrows at Ricky as if he was challenging him to answer. Ricky already had an answer.

“My dignity.”

—

“Hey, Y/N.”

You turned to look over your locker, the cold look you had kept on throughout that day softening at the sight of Harrison, one of your classmates. You had him in your chemistry class in your sophomore year, when he nearly blew up your lab station because he added too much of one chemical. While Harrison began freaking out, you were practically crying from laughing— who would’ve thought that one of the jocks would react so badly?

“Sorry— I thought you were someone else,” you said apologetically, turning back to the things in your locker. Ever since the day you and Ricky made out, you had been avoiding him like the plague. While you usually went out of your way to mess up his hair or make fun of him, you found yourself making various turns in the halls just to try and avoid Ricky. You saw him try and reach you every time he saw you, yet you always got away.

You didn’t want to speak about feelings— especially when it came to Ricky. In a way, it terrified you to think of him in that way despite your want to think of him as anything other than an enemy. But you didn’t want to make things complicated; the deal was to return to your normal relationship after the musical. Nothing more, nothing less.

Life had been getting in your way too. Ej’s break up with Nini was unexpected, to say the least, and you found yourself sneaking into his room at night to comfort him and allow him to rant to you ( while you subtly called him stupid since you were the more honest sibling ). You had to be there for him.

You looked at Harrison from the corner of your eye, seeing the evident nerves that were coursing through his veins. Grabbing your things and slamming your locker shut, you looked at the boy up and down before speaking. “You’re nervous,” you stated blatantly, watching his eyes widen at your honesty. “What happened?”

“I wanted to ask you a question,” Harrison said, shoving his hands in the pockets of his ( cliche ) letterman jacket.

From across the hall, Big Red patted Ricky on the back and shook him gently. “All you gotta do is ask her to homecoming. It’s simple, alright?” Big Red clapped him on the shoulder, trying to get him hyped up and less nervous. “Nothing to lose other than your dignity, buddy. I believe in you.”

“I can’t go right now,” Ricky protested, turning his head to look at Big Red. “She’s talking to someone— Is that Harrison Dupont?”

“The dude that looked like he fell out of a bad high school movie? The blonde one?” Big Red squinted at you and Adrien, eyebrows raising when he saw you nod and smile brightly at the jock. “Since when did she know him? I swear he’s always reminded me of Harry Osborn,” Big Red muttered to himself, watching as you laughed at a joke ( that probably wasn’t funny— Ricky was funnier ) he told you. You then leaned up on your tip-toes and kissed the blonde on the cheek, a subtle smirk making its way onto your lips. “Oh, shit.”

Hopefully Ricky didn’t see that.

Ricky definitely did.

He felt his heart sink when he saw the action, any small chance he had with you going down to the negatives as his shoulders slumped. Of course, you were serious about what you said after you kissed— you had always been the no-bullshit type. But some childish part of Ricky thought that you were joking, that you realized that you wanted him in the same way he wanted you.

He had to stop watching so many rom-coms.

“It’s okay, man,” Big Red mumbled, patting Ricky’s shoulder while Ricky nodded his head.

“You know what? You’re right. It’s fine,” Ricky said, as if he was convincing himself that it was okay when it reality it wasn’t. How could he think that he even had any chance with you? “I’ll just bring you to homecoming. It is your first dance.” Ricky forced a grin, bumping Big Red gently and ignoring the protests he tried to utter.

You had been enemies from the start— he shouldn’t be feeling like this. Might as well take his mind off of you.

—

“You’re going with Gina? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Says the person who said that she’s going with Harrison Dupont,” Ej deadpanned, fixing his tie in the mirror. He stood next to where you sat, your makeup strewn all over your table as you tried to put your makeup on. “You know that he’s a total di—“

His words were interrupted by Ashlyn, who was supposed to help you with your makeup ( until she gave up ). “Isn’t he that one jock? The guy that’s kinda like Harry Osborn?” Ashlyn asked from your bed, not looking up from her phone as she tried to find your homecoming date on Instagram. It only took her a few minutes, and for his page was the first that popped up. “No way do you know him,” she stated, glancing at you with raised brows.

“Is it really that hard to believe?” you asked, turning to look between Ashlyn and Ej. Both of them gave you nods in response, making you groan and turn back to your mirror.

Your hair was held up with a few white clips, a simple hairstyle that fit your dress: a rose red, a-line, spaghetti strapped dress that went above your knees. Your make up was simple, yet pulled your whole look together with rose red lipstick. Frankly, you thought you looked hot ( and you did ).

“All we’re saying is that it’s a surprise. You can barely exist next to most of the guys on my team without telling them to ‘fuck off.’” Ej gave you a pointed look through the mirror, his face softening when the sudden realization that you were growing hitting him at that moment. He felt like such an older brother as he watched you get yourself ready; you grew up so fast.

“You’re not one to talk; you’re going with Gina!” Ashlyn said, giving Ej a look. “Since when did that happen?”

“Just— Outta nowhere,” Ej mumbled, avoiding Ashlyn’s eyes as he looked at himself in the mirror. He had to be hiding something - he was avoiding the questions you and Ashlyn were throwing at him. “Can you do my tie? It’s just,” Ej sighed, his tie coming loose in his hands as he tried to fix it. “Not working.”

You tutted him teasingly, standing up to fix his tie. “East High’s own senior class treasurer can’t even tie a tie,” you tsked, grinning at him and laughing when he rolled his eyes. “I’ll add that onto the list of things I know that you don’t.”

“Must be a short list.”

“Oh, fuck off,” you laughed, Ashlyn and Ej letting out their own laughs at your words. You walked to your window, picking up the purse you planned to bring ( you really had nothing in it other than chapstick and mints ). Your eyes trailed up to the view from your window, immediately landing on Ricky’s dark window. Maybe he wasn’t going to homecoming. You didn’t know whether you felt relieved or disappointed.

But it didn’t matter. You weren’t going to homecoming with Ricky.

—

Ricky saw you walk in.

You were behind Gina Porter and your brother, and while you were usually the epitome of bluntness and independence, you almost looked shy walking into homecoming. Your eyes were searching for someone — Harrison, most likely — but instead of finding the tall jock, your eyes met his.

Of course, he had to sit at a table close to the entrance.

You played it off, rose-colored lips tilting up into a smirk that Ricky didn’t respond to. He was gaping at you, not-so-subtly admiring you to the point where Big Red nudged him.

“You’re drooling,” Big Red muttered, a teasing tone behind his voice while Ricky quickly averted his eyes from you. He saw you walk away from the corner of his eye, the breath he didn’t know he was holding escaping him. Ricky put his head in his hands, trying not to let out a yell. 

“She’s trying to kill me, I swear.”

The night went on. You sat alone, eyes on your phone as you tried to ignore the nagging feeling in your stomach.

“You too?” The familiar voice made you look up from your phone, a tight-lipped smile appearing on your face at the sight of an obviously heartbroken Carlos. You knew how he was feeling.

“Yeah. Where’s Seb?” you asked, watching as Carlos shrugged and picked at his nails. You knew they were going to homecoming together ( you called it from the start ), but seeing Carlos without Seb was odd. Seb wouldn’t stand up Carlos, would he?

“Not sure. I texted and called him.” Carlos sighed, the hurt evident in his face. He leaned forward in his chair, shifting his attention onto you. “How about you, Y/N? I can’t really imagine anyone wanting to stand you up.”

“Harrison Dupont,” you grumbled, listening to Carlos suck in a breath. Now you know why people reacted that way when you told them your date. Your eyes looked back at the entrance for what seemed like the hundredth time, the little amount of hope you had that Harrison would show up replaced with hope for someone else. “Carlos,” you said, a smile on your face as you nodded at Seb, standing at the entrance.

Without a word, Carlos stood up from his spot, walking to Seb and exchanging a few heartfelt words with him. You saw a smile creep up onto Carlos’ face, and you sighed in relief when they made their way to the dance floor ( of course ).

You wanted what they had, but Harrison wasn’t here. You continued to watch the crowd, a chuckle rumbling in your chest at Ricky and Big Red’s slow dancing and a hint of a smile tugging at the side of your lips at the sight of Ej and Gina dancing. But as your eyes wandered, it led you to an image that you didn’t want to see.

Harrison Dupont kissing another girl, his arms wrapped around her as they danced to the music.

You wanted to throw up.

You listened to the song end, sending a quick text to Ej about walking home as you grabbed your purse. You stood up from your chair, ignoring the stupid lump forming in your throat as you made your way to the entrance as quickly as you could.

“See? I told you it wasn’t that bad. The next dance you need to go to—“

“Ricky.” Big Red interrupted him, nodding in your direction as you made your way outside. He had just finished slow dancing with Ricky, ignoring the stares from the others around them. Ricky had nearly made him fall over his own feet while they danced, and Big Red almost body-slammed him into 5 couples when he twirled him. They were a mess, but it was fun.

Ricky shook his head stubbornly, shoving off the want to go follow you as he looked at Big Red. “No. I promised you a good time—“

“And you gave me one. Check up on her, man, I’ll be fine.” Big Red smiled encouragingly, motioning with his hands towards the direction you had gone.

With a grin that screamed, ‘thank you,’ Ricky ran out, head turning to look for you.

He didn’t find you until he saw you on one of the courtyard benches. Hanging lights were wrapped around the few trees, yet no one was around to see just how pretty it was. But you were there, head in your hands as you tried to get the image of your date and another girl out of your mind. You were shaking, and it didn’t take much to know that you were crying.

You never cried.

You were either going to punch him or say a comment to dodge his questions.

You felt someone sit next to you, and you immediately wiped the tears from your cheeks as you looked at who was sitting next to you. There he was: Ricky Bowen, pretending it was a coincidence that he found you outside and sat next to you on the same bench.

You sniffed. “If you’re here to throw me a pity party,” you said, voice hoarse from your crying. “Just go back inside.” Your voice cracked at the end of your sentence, more tears rolling down your face. You avoided looking at him, your eyes set on the concrete ground.

“I just thought you needed some company,” Ricky replied, listening to you scoff.

“I don’t need company. Especially from you,” you grumbled, wiping underneath your eyes and sniffing. You didn’t want him to see you like this; the oh-so-strong Caswell sibling, crying over a jock as if she had fallen out of a high school movie.

Ricky ignored the hurt your words brought him, simply choosing to nod his head. “You don’t have to talk to me,” he offered, looking up at the hanging lights. “We can just.. sit here. You can cry, I can just look at the lights.”

You raised your head from your hands, placing your chin on the palms of your hands as you let out heavy breaths. Silence followed Ricky’s words, the only sound being your sniffles and the faint bass from the dance.

“He was with someone else. He was kissing and dancing with her,” you spat, spite and hurt hidden deep within your words.

The sudden want to confess everything that had happened to him was too strong, your emotions controlling you as you stared blankly ahead of you. “I should’ve expected it,” you wiped the mascara from under your eyes. You chuckled humorlessly to yourself, shaking your head. “You probably think I’m stupid.”

“There’s nothing stupid in believing in someone,” Ricky murmured in response.

“I thought for sure that you’d come out here to make fun of me,” you murmured. “Especially since.. you know..” you trailed off, hoping that he knew that you were talking about the kiss the both of you shared.

“I don’t hate you as much as you think I do, Y/N,” Ricky said softly, his tone sincere as he looked at you. Your eyes were downcast, a useless way of avoiding his eyes like the plague. You felt guilty for pushing him out, for being too caught up in thinking about what you felt that you didn’t think about what you were doing to him. A small part of you wanted to go back to how they once were: arguing in classes and pissing each other off.

A huge part of you wanted to have your hands intertwined with his.

You looked at him with eyes glassy with tears, the faintest of smiles on your face. You had to have looked like a mess with your messy makeup and smudged mascara. But to Ricky, he had never seen you look so pretty.

“Do you want to dance?” Ricky asked, the idea leaving his mouth before he could catch it. He gauged your reaction, watching as you cocked a brow at him as if to silently ask, ‘are you serious?’ “It’s homecoming,” Ricky explained blatantly, shrugging his shoulders. “You deserve to have at least one dance.”

“What if someone sees us?” you asked hesitantly, watching Ricky stand up and take out his phone. He scrolled for a few seconds before choosing a song. ‘Fair-Weather Friend’ by Bruno Major began to play, and he offered his hand out to you.

“Then let them,” he said, and a smile lit up your face at his response. You took his hand, standing up and placing your arms around his neck.

You felt his hands hold your waist, his touch gentle as you both began to sway to the music. “I don’t know how to slow dance,” you confessed quietly, making sure you didn’t step on his toes as you both danced to the beat.

“Just follow my lead.” The chorus came around, and Ricky twirled you, your dress floating up at the move before settling back down. He pulled you flush to his chest, humming the song softly to you as you followed his movements.

Once the chorus came once again, a laugh left your lips as you tried to twirl him around. “Nice moves, Bowen,” you remarked, your comment lighthearted and making him laugh.

“I try.”

You both danced as if you had known each other for forever ( in a way, it was true ). Each small step and each small sway was performed as if you had been dancing with each other for years rather than playing a teasing game of cat and mouse.

You could tell the song was coming to an end. Your head was on his chest, your sadness gone and replaced with content. Quietly, and almost shyly, you mumbled, “Thank you for making this night so much better.”

Ricky could feel his heart pick up. He knew he was in too deep.

“Anytime, Y/N.”

—

TAGS:  @softpeteparker, @jointherebellion215, @l-tt-e, @broken-from-fandoms, @uwupxterparker, @room-3o4​, @eternaleviee​, @hobistigma​, @fangeekkk​, @wcnderwoo​, @myrandom-fandomlife​, @multifangorl​, @tomshufflepuff, @ggclarissa​, @decaffeinated-fangirl​, @religious-pizza-roll​, @rororo06​, @svelby-g​, @sarcarstic-space-weirdo​, @whoseblogsthis​, @hxney-bunches-x​

[anythingandeverything1d]

Congratulations

“(y/n)” the nurse called out from the door. You stood up and walked over with an anxious smile. She handed you a clip board of medical information that you needed to update and then said she would grab you once it was completed and turned into the desk. You sat back down in the waiting room and flipped through the pages. Ugh I wish my mom was here...am I allergic to anything? I mean I don't think so but maybe Im just unaware of it..I don't remember having surgery-well my tonsils were removed but does that count? You were filling out the page to the best of your ability when your phone buzzed. You looked down and saw his name flash across the screen before immediately ignoring the call. You rushed to finish the paperwork and handed it in as the nurse came back. “Ready?” she asked.

“Yeah.” you followed her down the hall where she took your height and weight before escorting you into the room. You hopped onto the chair and anxiously tapped your foot as she checked your temperature, blood pressure, and oxygen levels. After finishing up she sat on the stool and smiled. 

“So, what are we here for today?”

“Uh...” you looked at your feet and shifted in the chair. “I think I may be pregnant.”

She smiled and nodded, “when was your last period?” 

“My period tends to be irregular but the last one I had recored was around two months ago.”

“Okay, were you on any kind of birth controls, or using any type of contraceptives?”

“I was on a birth control, am on a birth control but I missed a few days while I was on vacation which is when I believe this all happened.”

“Okay. Have you had any symptoms other than your missed period?”

“No, not really.”

“Okay. Have you taken any pregnancy tests at home?”

You nodded, your brain flashing back to that day. 

*Tears were flooding down your cheeks as he grabbed his last hoodie from your closet. All you wanted was for life to stop. You wanted him to say its okay, to make a change in the relationship, to stay. You sat on the bed crying as he walked out the door for the last time, taking with him every once of happiness you had. You ran to the bathroom, physically sick from the situation. It wasnt until you were hunched over the toilet that you realized the box of tampons had gone unopened. Missing periods was normal for you, they had never been regular. There was a slight doubt in your mind though. You had never missed a period more than once, so the fact that you were going on two means something was wrong. You had been under a lot of stress though, the distance, the lying, the excuses, all of it. Wiping the snot running from your nose, you had gotten up, washed your face, and thrown on sweatpants and a sweatshirt. You had mustered the courage to drive all the way to the drug store, purchase three pregnancy tests, and drive home. You had gotten three, you wanted to be sure. You wanted to be positive before making any other decisions. You sat on the bathroom floor after peeing in a cup and dipped each end, turning them over so you couldn't see the lines. You set a timer on your phone and closed your eyes. The only thing that could've possibly made this situation better was having him here. Of course he was gone already but you could still dream right? When the alarm on your phone went off you anxiously flipped them all over. Picking the first up and squinting you saw the dreaded double lines. Picking the second one up: dreaded double lines. And the third: PREGNANT in bold. You dropped them all on the counter and threw your phone. Of course, of course this this happens. He leaves and I end up pregnant with his baby..just like the movies except he won't be coming back. The rest of the day had been a blur. You had kind of just ignored the fact that there were three positive pregnancy tests in the bathroom. When your friend Luke had come over, you had cried into his arms. Cried about him leaving, about the break up, and finally about being pregnant. “(y/n) if you have positive pregnancy tests you need to call him.”

“No. I can't do that. Im not doing that.”

“(y/n)...hes the father, he deserves to know.”

“I may not even be pregnant though..they come up wrong all the time.”

“Not this wrong though.. this seems pretty sure.”

“I mean I've been stressed lately maybe its just a hormone thing.”

“I think you should go to the doctor and check. And if you are then you need to ball up and tell him. Seriously he needs to know”

You had nodded and cried some more before Luke left. Then you had called your doctor and made an appointment.*

Now here you were answering questions about your sex life and body. The nurse handed you a cup and showed you where the bathroom was. She said the test would take only around ten minutes but that she would be coming back to the room to do a blood test as well. Great, what a fun day... You quickly peed in the cup, leaving it on the counter for the nurse and wandered back to the room you had been assigned. Your hands were sweating and you felt dizzy. Having your blood drawn was probably your least favorite thing. In fact, you fainted almost every time. You checked your phone and thought about texting him...instead you texted Luke and told him how terrible the doctor was and that you were going to die while having your blood drawn. His only response was “lol” and you rolled your eyes. Typical guy.. The nurse came back in with a smile and sat down. “Well it does look like you are in fact pregnant so congratulations! We want to do a pelvic exam and ultra sound today just to see where everything is at and then have you come back for a blood draw in the future.” 

“Thanks.” you smiled and relief flooded your face. At least you didnt have to have your blood drawn today. On the other hand, you were pregnant, which was a whole other nightmare in its own. Not that you hadn't wanted and dreamed of having kids. You just thought it would be under different circumstances and that you would be married. 

“Im going to leave this gown here if you just want to change real quick we can do an ultrasound and hopefully see where the little baby is at.” She left for a minute and you quickly changed, your warm body freezing against the chair. When she came back in, she had an ultrasound machine on wheels. She started with the pelvic exam, lightly pressing all around your pelvic region. Satisfied she got out a tube of gel. “This is going to be cold at first.” You had nodded and watched as the clear gel squirted out and the ultrasound machine rubbed against your skin. You watched the screen as she moved it around looking for the baby. After what felt like months, she found a small white dot looking blob and smiled. “There it is...looks like you are measuring around 2 months right now which makes sense to when you thought everything happened.” She looked at you and smiled. “I know it can be a lot to take in..I’m guessing this is your first?”

“Yeah...its just a lot I guess.”

“It is, but it gets easier. Want to hear the baby’s heartbeat?”

You smiled and nodded. She pressed a button and you heard soft thumps. Tears slipped out of the corner of your eye and you wiped them away. “Thats pretty cool.”

She smiled and nodded before handing you a towel. “You are all set to go, we will have the pictures at the desk where you can make your next appointment. It was nice meeting you (y/n) good luck on your pregnancy and congratulations again.” You smiled and thanked her before climbing back into your clothes. 2 months pregnant...theres a living being in there...my baby...mine and Harry’s baby...oh god, what am I going to tell Harry? At the desk you scheduled another appointment and the receptionist handed you a picture saying congratulations. You looked at the little pea shaped blob inside you and grinned. Thats mine...thats inside me. 

Luke surprised you by standing at your car door with an ice cream sundae. “Soo did you faint? did you die? did you live?”

You laughed, “Yeah I lived. I didnt have my blood drawn at all actually.”

“Oh? Why’s that?” You took the sundae from him and smiled taking a bite, the hot fudge melting in your mouth. 

“Because of this.” you waved the picture in your hand and he grabbed it his mouth dropping. 

“Is that what I think it is? Do you have an alien growing inside you?”

“Lukeee seriously”

He laughed and looked into your eyes. “Okay okay but wow, a baby. That’s amazing. How are you feeling about it?”

“I feel like it hasn't sunk in yet....but that I’m really happy. I mean Ive always wanted a baby...why not do it now? I don't need a man in my life. Im a strong and independent woman.”

“That you are, but don't worry you will have me too. Im going to be a great uncle, its the best job anyways. But uh- are you going to tell Harry?” 

You shrugged your shoulders and continued eating. “(y/n)...it is his baby right?”

You rolled your eyes and nodded. “It cant be anyone else's.”

“So then you're going to tell him.”

“Idontknow” you mumbled, your mouth full of ice cream.

“You have to..you know he would want to know.”

“Theres a lot I wanted to know and he didn't tell me so I’m not sure yet. I haven't decided anything.”

“Okay...” he gave in and hugged you. “I’m happy for you I really am.” 

You hugged him back and smiled. “Thanks. I’m glad you're here...I’m glad I have someone to go through this with. And I’m so so glad you brought ice cream.”

“It’s okay. What are friends for right?” You nodded and jumped in the car after saying goodbye. You didn’t quite know who to call yet so you decided to just enjoy some time with yourself. You did the only logical thing you could think of after finding out that there was a baby inside you: you went shopping. You picked a local baby store and walked in, looking at all the onesies, furniture, blankets, binkies, and bears. 

“Hi! Anything I can help you find today?”

“No, thank you I’m just looking.”

“Okay well we are having a two for one deal on onesies and bibs so make sure to check those out.”

“I will thank you.” you smiled at the girl working but she kept looking back at you. 

“Are you (y/n)...the girl dating Harry Styles?” she asked shyly.

“I was dating him, not anymore actually.” She nodded and gave you the look, you know the one of pity and sorrow? You went back to shopping looking at all of the little outfits, there were so many choices. You also had no idea if you were having a boy or a girl..something told you it was a boy but obviously you had no clue whatsoever. You decided on a cute grey onesie with little animals on it...gender neutral. You also grabbed a cute binkie that had a stuffed bear attached to it. 

“These are super cute.” the girl said while checking out. “There's a whole collection that goes with this if youre interested.”

“No, that's okay this is enough for now?”

She nodded and wrapped the stuff in a bag. “So how far along are you?”

“Not very far, only a few months.”

“Well congrats! I hope everything goes smoothly and I hope to see you back here soon for more stuff.”

You smiled and nodded. “I for sure will be back.” 

You drove home, your phone blowing up the entire way with twitter notifications, instagram tags, and more. Inside you scrolled through it, only to find pictures of you shopping for the baby clothes. Your name attached to headlines stating you were expecting but not far along. Great...this is not what I need...how do they even know.... you were scrolling through more twitter notifications. Harry’s name was now being brought into this. Another daddy in One Direction? Harry Styles Expecting? ugh...this literally cannot be happening.. and then everything got worse.. Harry’s name and photo popped up on your screen as he called. “Harry?” you answered anxiously.

---

Part 1 of my new series, hope you all enjoy! Goal is to have another part posted tonight or tomorrow! This is kind of just an intro to the story, I’m hoping to have them be a little longer but let me know what you all would rather: longer and less stories (may take more time to upload) or shorter and more stories (updated a little faster)

Let me know what you think so far and what you think will happen.

xoxo

[bisexualcrowley]

Fairytale of New York

Pairing: Jack Kline x Reader (Gender non-specified)

Summary: Jack gives you something you’ve always dreamt of while walking through a park on Christmas eve

Content/warnings: Fluff, songfic, little bit of angst, censored use of the F slur in song lyrics, can be read as romantic or platonic

Word count: 2, 581

A/N: I absolutely recommend you listen to the song while reading, I know it’s not really everyone’s taste but I feel that it adds to the mental image, plus there's a bunch of instrumental bits that I think are worth being included :) // Originally wrote this as a Jack fic, but felt that Jack fit better

The snow fell in a light drifting throughout the city, glistening in the glow of the streetlights and setting the scene for what in most movies would be seen as the perfect Christmas eve. It was quiet, peaceful, the soft noises of traffic heard behind the sound of slow Christmas music playing soothingly from a shop across the street.

Since becoming a hunter, you hadn’t really been much for the holidays, especially religious ones, but tonight as you walked side by side with Jack through the little park, boots crunching in the fallen powder with snowflakes dusting your hair as you made your way to a nearby pizza joint to meet Sam Dean and Cas, it felt different, the way Christmas should feel.

Tonight it didn’t matter that the apocalypse was approaching, the thought was shoved to the back of your head along with everything else that had gone wrong. Tonight was just snow, food, gifts, and family, and you found yourself smiling as you made your way along the path.

You were so caught up in your thoughts, or lack of them, that it took you a moment to realize you had been walking by yourself for a few seconds, and quickly doubled back to where the nephilim was standing.

You were concerned at first, his still figure bringing all sorts of unpleasant thoughts to mind, but your worries quickly evaporated when you drew closer to your friend. A peaceful smile graced his features, eyes closed and face tilted upwards, snowflakes hitting his skin and melting, the fair few settling softly on his eyelashes.

“...Jack?” You called quietly, hesitating at the idea of disturbing him but knowing he wouldn’t want to be late to dinner with the Winchesters.

Luckily, the nephilim’s peaceful expression cracked into a toothy grin as he turned his head to face you, a light dusting of snow falling from his hair onto his nose and making you giggle.

“It’s so beautiful, isn’t it Y/n. I never took the time to experience a snowfall properly before now, and it’s just... Well it’s just incredible. God did a good job with this one” He murmured happily, his gaze returning to the sky, this time followed by your own.

It had been years since you sat back and allowed yourself to enjoy a moment like this, year after year of hunting taking priority over and over again, and you were glad that there was time for it tonight. Jack was right, the sight truly was beautiful, the crystals of ice glistening as they blew through the sky and settled on every surface in sight.

You had just opened your mouth to respond when a familiar melody filled the air, and you paused in your thoughts. Fairytale of New York, The Pogues. You hadn’t heard this one in years, though you never forgot it, your teenage daydreams always somewhere in the back of your mind.

Apparently Jack had found your silence alarming and turned his attention back to you, finding you lost in thought, a troubled expression having replaced your smile from before.

“You look upset, Y/n, are you alright?” Your friend questioned, a concerned expression gracing his usually happy features, and his worry drawing a dry chuckle from your lips.

“It’s nothing Jack, lets just keep going, Sam and Dean are probably already at the pizza place” You replied in a dreary voice, sighing as the song progressed from purely instrumental to include vocals, the piano echoing sweetly in the darkened street and Shane Macgowan’s somewhat rough voice flooding your ears.

It was Christmas Eve babe

In the drunk tank

An old man said to me, won't see another one 

Turning away from Jack, you moved to cross away from the park, but found yourself held back by the angel’s hand landing firmly on your shoulder, forcing your gaze back in his direction.

“Honestly, it’s stupid, lets just keep going please” Your voice came out tight and clipped and the sound made you wince, hoping Jack didn’t think of it as rude. Luckily, in that sense, your friend didn’t seem to be offended, but unluckily it made him push the subject further.

And then he sang a song

The Rare Old Mountain Dew

“You've never been good at lying to me, Y/n, it’s clear that this isn’t stupid. Please, talk to me.” 

You shot him a defeated smile, the ache in your heart showing clearly in your eyes as you shoved your hands in your pockets, shifting your weight from one leg to the other.

I turned my face away

And dreamed about you 

“I dunno, Jack, It’s just this song.” You mumbled, gaze falling to the ground in hopes of avoiding the nephilim’s concerned stare.

“Ah, I understand. Cas explained this to me, how humans can connect bad memories to songs,” He nodded, his hand returning to your shoulder in a comforting gesture.

Got on a lucky one

Came in eighteen to one 

“No, it’s not that. It’s just... Ever since I was a kid I’ve always dreamt of dancing with someone to Fairytale of New York. I haven’t heard it in years, hunting kind of took over my life, but hearing it again makes me realize, as small as it is, I want it, so so badly. Being pulled close and spun around as the snow falls around me on Christmas eve, it’s so stupid but knowing the world is gonna end and I’ve never had the chance to experience it hurts like hell, Jack, and I know as a hunter I should have higher priorities, but honestly it’s all I fucking want, the only thing I wanted to do before I die and now I’m not gonna get the chance.”

I've got a feeling

This year's for me and you 

You didn’t plan to ramble on, spill such a close desire to your friend but as soon as you started speaking the dam broke, all your feelings slipping out at once. You were so caught up in your thoughts that you didn’t notice the tears running down your cheeks, not until a gentle hand tilted your chin up, your eyes locking on Jack’s caring ones as he brushed them away.

“That’s not stupid, Y/n... Actually, I think it’s quite beautiful. There’s so much hate and greed in this world, but all you ask for is one moment in time...”

Jack’s voice was quiet but sincere as he spoke,  and though you couldn’t work up the strength to thank him, you appreciated what he had said.

So happy Christmas

I love you baby 

“It doesn’t matter, we can’t all get what we want, right?” You smiled tightly, quickly clearing your throat and turning to head towards the road again, and once more you were stopped by a strong hand pulling you back.

"Jack please, lets go, I don’t wanna talk about this anymore, ok? It’s upsetting and it’s getting cold, let’s just go meet the guys” You huffed, now slightly annoyed at the nephilim’s stubbornness, but the feeling melting almost immediately into confusion as your friend pulled your shorter frame against his own, leading one of your hands to his waist and capturing your other in his.

I can see a better time

When all our dreams come true 

“Dance with me, Y/n.” He whispered, smiling shyly at the expression on your face.

“..what?” You managed to ask, somewhat in shock at the quick movements Jack had made to settle you in such a position.

“Look, I know this probably isn’t exactly what you were hoping for, It’s barely snowing, we’re probably going to get yelled at by Dean and well, it’s me, but if the world really does end, I don’t want you to go out having not experienced the thing you’ve dreamt of all your life. I understand if you don’t want to waste the moment with me, but if you do I’d be more than happy to share it with you”

Jack chuckled at the end of his sentence, but didn’t go on, waiting for an answer as the music picked up, moving from piano to accordion.

You had to fight back tears as your friend spoke. It was hard to believe, but it was finally happening, you were finally going to get your dance, and you just beamed up at the angel, emotions overflowing with each second that passed, and as the third verse began, you nodded, Jack responding by matching your smile and settling his free hand on your waist.

They've got cars big as bars

They've got rivers of gold

But the wind goes right through you

It's no place for the old

You hadn’t danced to the song since you were a kid, twirling around in an oversized dressing gown with a broom in Bobby’s basement, and you were almost certain Jack had never even heard of it before now, but somehow the both of you knew exactly what to do, how to move. Two steps and a spin, swinging away from the angel only to be pulled back in, each switch of your hands, it was all exactly how you had always pictured it.

When you first took my hand

On a cold Christmas Eve

You promised me

Broadway was waiting for me

1 2 3 4 5 6, 1 2 3 4 5 6. You counted silently along with the patterns played, a squeal turning into a joyous laugh as a particularly passionate spin from Jack led the both of you sliding along a patch of ice, boots leaving trails in the freshly fallen snow.

You were handsome

You were pretty

Queen of New York City

When the band finished playing

They howled out for more

You hadn’t expected Jack to enjoy himself as much as he appeared to be. You figured, hey, he’s a nephilim, I’ve helped him out, he probably feels obligated to do this, right? To see that you were wrong, the elation on his face made the already indescribable moment all the better

Sinatra was swinging

All the drunks they were singing

We kissed on a corner

Then danced through the night

The rare passerby walking through the park would smile, pause for a moment to watch the two of you spin happily across the frozen ground before continuing on their way, each one chuckling to themselves over whatever joke they came up with about once upon a time being young enough to move like that

The boys of the NYPD choir

Were singing Galway Bay

And the bells were ringing out

For Christmas day

As the two of you danced, you couldn’t help but think how beautiful this scene would be in a movie, all done up in fancy clothes, cameras following each sweeping movement you made

You're a bum

You're a punk

You're an old slut on junk

Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed

Another step. Another swing.

You scumbag, you maggot

You cheap lousy f*ggot

Happy Christmas your arse

I pray God it's our last

Jack’s hands flew to your hips, picking you up as if weighed nothing as the chorus peaked once again, spinning you in the air and making you feel like you were flying.

The boys of the NYPD choir

Still singing Galway Bay

The moment your shoes touched the ground Jack bent you down in a dip, flashing you a goofy smile at the noise you let out

And the bells are ringing out

For Christmas day

Jack smiled, and you beamed up at him

I could have been someone

Well so could anyone

You took my dreams from me

When I first found you

The music slowed slightly, and Jack traded your previous quick footsteps for a simple back and forth box step, the softening of your movements giving him a proper look at you, with your hair mussed and face rosy from the cold. Your smile stood out the most to the angel though, the unfiltered joy crinkling your eyes and releasing whatever tension you were holding before

I kept them with me babe

I put them with my own

Can't make it all alone

I've built my dreams around you

The boys of the NYPD choir

Still singing Galway Bay

And the bells are ringing out

For Christmas day 

As the instrumental section came to an end, the wall inside you that you hadn’t even realized was there finally broke down, and you followed in suit. Your arms flew around the nephilim’s neck and you clung to him as if letting go would kill you, and you sobbed. The sudden burst frightened Jack, who quickly pulled away enough to meet your eyes, but was surprised to find that you weren’t upset, but were crying tears of happiness.

“Y/n are you alright?” He whispered, tightening his hold around you as you pulled him along, your complicated waltz now replaced by the simple motions of a slow dance, weight shifting from one side to another as the song neared it’s end

You didn’t reply at first, choosing instead to smile up at Jack with teary eyes and nod rapidly before managing to choke out the words “Thank you, Jack”. 

As the final few notes finally faltered off, you pulled away from the tight embrace, looking earnestly up at your friend, who wore a warm smile as well

“Really, Jack, Thank you. So, so much, that was incredible, I can’t even-” Your voice cracked, cut off, and unable to vocalize anything more you reached out and took his hand between your own, squeezing tightly.

Luckily Jack understood what you were trying to say. He knew he couldn’t ever truly understand the level of happiness the action had brought you, but he knew he was gonna cherish the moment for the rest of his life. It was the most fun he had had in as long as he could remember, but that wasn’t why he knew it would stick with with. There was something special about sharing such a moment with someone he loved so dearly, being able to give you that happiness that made life worth living, gave the strength to keep fighting whatever the hell would be thrown at them next.

You and Jack would have been happy to stay there forever, hands clasped together and snow dusting your hair, but as always, the reminder that all good things must come to an end was brought to you by whichever shop was playing music turning their volume way up, the blasting of trumpets from rockin’ around the Christmas tree hitting you like a truck and thoroughly ruining the peaceful setting.

Your reactions were like a scene out of a movie, the simultaneous jump, staring at each other in shock and finally breaking down in peals of laughter seconds later.

“I think that means it’s time to go” you snickered, the nephilim chuckling in response, and at that the two of you took off again, making your way towards the pizza place.

Thank you, you repeated silently. Thank you

-

Tags, let me know if you want to be added <3 @cursedbobs​ @frog-tiddies​  @imagine-whatever

[crowdvscritic]

round up // AUGUST 21

Happy 2nd birthday to these Round Ups! For two years I’ve been making monthly pop culture picks, and they’ve included:

More than 200 movies

32 TV shows and specials, plus 8 different Saturday Night Live Round Ups

27 albums, singles, playlists, and more music picks

13 podcasts

12 books

2 concerts

There have also been articles, events, museums, social media bits, trailers, and a service that helps you find movies across streaming platforms. (Find all of them here.) This month I’m adding a few more, like: 

2 podcasts

2 albums

5 vampire movies

A conversation between two GOATs

A very funny dead guy

A terrifying Robert Mitchum performance

Another Dumb Rom-Com I Nevertheless Enjoyed

Here’s to another year!

August Crowd-Pleasers

1. Jungle Cruise (2021)

Indiana Jones meets Pirates of the Caribbean with a dash of The African Queen. I like all those movies, so sue me, I had a nice time! Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10

2. Deep Blue Sea (1999)

Genetically-enhanced sharks try to break free of their cages in an ocean research facility, chaos ensues for the characters, and it’s a delight for us. For no intelligent reason, I love movies that make me guess who’s going to get killed off next, so a big dumb shark movie starring L.L. Cool J and Samuel L. Jackson? It’s a particular brand of joy. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 5.5/10

3. Double Feature — Adam Sandler Comedies: 50 First Dates (2004) + Murder Mystery (2019)

Adam Sandler movies are little like IcyHot for the brain—that is, they’re the relaxing kind of mind-numbing. Thanks to a stressful month at work, I watched six Sandler flicks in August—which I don’t necessarily recommend but also don’t regret—and the Netflix original Murder Mystery (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10) was one of the the best of the bunch. It’s a silly spoof of Agatha Christie’s work, and it’s a scenic two-hour European vacay. I also gave 50 First Dates (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10) another try and was pleasantly surprised. Once you get past some of the gross-out humor at the beginning, you’ll find a sweet story all about how we need to keep showing up for the people we love.

4. Double Feature — SNL Comedies: Wayne’s World (1992) + Hot Rod (2007)

My love for Saturday Night Live is more than well-documented, so exactly zero mes were surprised that I loved these flicks from its alums. Wayne’s World (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10) follows up with Wayne and Garth in the basement we first saw on late night. Now they have the opportunity to make it big on TV thanks to a sleazy exec (Rob Lowe). Brian Doyle-Murray and Chris Farley show up, and so do Laverne and Shirley? Hot Rod (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6.5/10) follows Rod (Andy Samberg) as he tries to make it big as a stuntman and impress his stepdad (Ian McShane). Will Arnett, Bill Hader, and Chris Parnell show up, and now I can mostly forgive all those boys in high school who quoted this movie non-stop.

5. Weekend at Bernie’s (1989)

If those SNL comedies weren’t enough silliness for you, how about you add some Bernie to your lineup? Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman are wannabe-yuppies who think they’ve got their  career breaks when an exec named Bernie invites them to his vacation home for the weekend. What they don’t know is that Bernie (Terry Kiser) has been laundering money, is connected to the mob, and, is now, um, dead. The right thing would be to call the police, but then we wouldn’t have a 97-minute high-concept comedy, now would we? Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10

6. Twilight series (2008-12)

I mostly skipped the Twilight phenomenon at its peak, but I’m so glad I hopped on the train years later—this series of vampire vs. werewolf showdowns are ridiculous.  But major kudos to the filmmakers who somehow turned a dump truck of nonsensical gobbledygook and unhealthy teenage relationships into something insanely watchable. Also, major kudos to Billy Burke and his understated, curmudgeonly, sarcastic performance. Bella’s dad is the MVP with the only appropriate responses to all of the nonsense he's forced to participate in and the only tether this franchise has to reality. Be sure to watch with a friend so you have someone else to process this weirdness with. Series Crowd: 8/10 // Series Critic: 5/10

7. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers at The Muny

You know what’s great? Live theater! This month I made my first trip back to the stage at America’s oldest and largest outdoor amphitheater, the Muny in St. Louis. Their productions never disappoint, and these performers reminded me of Howard Keel, Jane Powell, and Russ Tamblyn in the best ways. 

8. Wimbledon (2004)

Paul Bettany and Kirsten fall in love at Wimbledon! Frankly, that premise alone should be enough to sell you on this very winning rom-com. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

9. Career Opportunities (1991)

This month’s Dumb Rom-Com I Nevertheless Enjoyed! Frank Whaley and Jennifer Connelly fall in love while stuck overnight at a Target—which honestly sounds like a dream scenario—and since it’s a John Hughes script, it’s got some heart beneath its thin premise. John Hughes directing would’ve made it better, but there’s enough Hughes in there to catch my heart. Crowd: 7/10 // Critic: 4.5/10

10. First Blood (1982)

Aka Rambo: Part I. Sylvester Stallone is a tough-as-nails Vietnam vet, and Brian Dennehy is the self-righteous sheriff who ticks him off. It digs a bit into PTSD and how we don’t take care of our veterans, but mostly, it’s just Stallone going ape with a knife and explosives. Oddly, also from the same director as Weekend at Bernie’s! Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10

August Critic Picks

1. TCM’s The Plot Thickens Season 2 (2021)

You know those movies that make you ask, “How on Earth did this get made?” This season of The Plot Thickens, subtitled The Devil’s Candy, is an attempt to answer that question. Pretty much no one thinks 1990’s The Bonfire of the Vanities works as a film—including yours truly—and reporter Julie Salomon documented many of its production troubles leading to the final product. A must-listen for anyone who loves hearing behind-the-scenes stories or just gets a kick out of schadenfreude. 

2. Gene and Roger (2021)

Gene and Roger, the summer series on The Big Picture podcast, is an overview and reflection on the work of Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert, starting with the launch of their individual careers in the ‘60s through their partnership that lasted into the ‘90s. Another must-listen for movie lovers, especially those who love digging into the history and criticism.

3. Gold-Diggers Sound by Leon Bridges (2021)

Chill vibes and cool groves to transition you from Summer to Autumn.

4. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)

Come for the Clint Eastwood, stay for the Ennio Morricone. Actually you can stay for Eastwood, too, because his humor is at his driest, and for Eli Wallach, whose Tuco is an insanely charming cockroach. It’s almost three hours, but this treasure hunt breezes by like a tumbleweed in the wind. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 9/10

5. AFI’s Master Class - The Art of Collaboration: Steven Spielberg and John Williams (2011)

Two GOATS talking about making some of the GOATs. They share clips and explain their collaborative process (including on projects like Jaws and Schindler’s List), and they take questions from film students at AFI. I’m only wishing it were 10 hours instead of 1!

6. The Night of the Hunter (1955)

Robert Mitchum’s terrifying preacher elevates this classic into more than just a standard crime thriller. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

7. Respect (2021)

While a few scenes indulge in melodrama, Jennifer Hudson’s killer performance—both in vocals and character work—more than makes up for it. This Aretha Franklin biopic hits the familiar beats, but it makes you feel like you’re in the room listening to Franklin sing , which is really all you want from a movie like this. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8/10

8. Solar Power by Lorde (2021)

At first listen, this minimalist pop record sounds worlds away from the angst of Pure Heroine and the melodrama of Melodrama. At second listen, you realize it’s the Lorde you know and love, just with a Laurel Canyon influence. Carole King even gets a shout!

Also in August…

This month Kyla and I checked out Loveline, a call-in radio show popular during the run of Gilmore Girls.  Should our favorite Yale students give up dating OR call into the syndicated radio show Loveline? Should Dr. Drew Pinsky and Adam Carolla give strangers advice OR make fun of them? Oh, and Germany OR Florida? Listen to ep. 107 of SO IT’S A SHOW?

The '40s are coming! Reviews of 1940s Best Picture winners are on their way, and I kicked it off with an overview of the Academy that decade focusing on how they responded to World War II and their new prestigious reputation.

Photo credits: The Muny, The Plot Thickens, Gene and Roger, Leon Bridges, AFI, Lorde. All others IMDb.com.

[iohourtime]

Kiokuya (The Memory Eraser) Review - With Spoilers

Since I read the book, sort of followed the filming progress, and read a bunch of interviews (that all sounded the same after a while), I should finish off by writing a review for the movie itself! 

Thanks to the pandemic, I was stuck at home watching Netflix for 7 months, so I’ve watched all sorts of movies & TV; sadly most are in the average to crappy category. To me, Kiokuya was probably in the average to slightly above average category. In other words, there are elements I like and there are things I feel the movie can improve on.

The review is a bit long since apparently I have a lot of thoughts about the script.😅 I pretty much summed up my thoughts in the “theme” section. If you are interested in the book / movie differences & things from the DVD visual commentary, I included those in the script & characters section. (Movie Walker included highlights from the visual commentary here.) . If you want to discuss the movie but don’t want to put spoilers on Twitter, leave me a message.

Theme:

The movie’s main theme is obviously about memory. If a memory is making your life miserable, or even stopping you from living, is it better to erase it? Or do all memories, even bad ones, shape you as a human? If someone’s memory of you is gone, are you killed in their minds? If you think someone is better off forgetting you, do you have the right to ask Kiokuya to erase their memories of you? Are the memories gone forever? If you have the power to erase someone’s memory, what are your responsibilities? And to some extent, what are the criteria to evaluate each request and what due diligence should you do before you accept this task? These were the questions the movie wanted you to ask. You know because the movie kept hitting you on the head through the dialogue! That’s probably my main complaint about the movie.

I didn’t study film so I don’t know the theories, but I think being heavy handed at telling you what you should be thinking is like listening to a textbook; it robs the audience of the chance to experience and internalize what they saw, and as a result, they are less able to connect emotionally to the film. That’s not to say people are not moved by the movie and empathize with the characters. I feel that it had more to do with the actors than the script though.

I think the cinematography was generally nice. I liked how they used the drone shots to film the beautiful Hiroshima scenery. The sunset scene was beautiful. The music did not seem intrusive. Other than that, I’m not sure I have more to say. (Fine. Yamada looked good in the plaid shirts and his hair was on point.)

Script vs Book: (Spoiler alert from here on!)

Kiokuya, the movie, was an adaptation of a “horror” novel of the same name. Although there were horror elements, mostly because Kiokuya was kind of a shadowy figure, even the novel itself was focused more on humanity. The original story was divided into 4 parts; the first 3 parts were really 3 separate short stories that explored different reasons people have for wanting their memories erased. The final part was about Kiokuya herself. The Ryoichi character simply served as a bridge between the stories. Here’s a brief description:

Kyoko - A while ago, she was attacked in a dark alley but was saved at the last minute. Even though she was unharmed, she developed a crippling phobia of the dark, so she locked herself inside her home at night and was not able to live a normal life. She and Ryoichi were kinda but not really dating, and Ryoichi, being a typical guy, figured he could fix her. Kyoko tried everything but as a last resort, she asked Kiokuya to erase her memory of the attack. Since her relation with Ryoichi was based almost entirely on overcoming the phobia, she forgot him too. Through this incident, Ryoichi remembered how Maki had her memory erased when she was 5 or 6 - she saw her mom confessing to her dad that she had an affair with her uncle. Kiokuya might have erased Maki’s memory a second time when she was 10-12. Finally, he realized he “forgot” about his year-long investigation of Kiokuya with Takahara & others. It seemed like he was doggedly pursuing Kiokuya because he felt violated more than his undying love for Kyoko. In his own words, he didn’t try to rebuild his relationship with Kyoko again after she forgot about him. There was nothing stopping him, so his feelings towards Kyoko were not that deep.

Takahara - He was a 30 year old ikemen lawyer, though like the movie, he was dying. The chapter focused on his touching friendship with his assistant. Takahara was also close with Nanami, a suicidal, 17-year-old daughter of a client who became very attached to him. When Takahara found out Nanami planned to kill herself after he died, he asked Kiokuya to erase her memory of him so that she would live on.

Misao & Kaname - They were childhood friends and Misao started crushing on Kaname. She confessed and was rejected, but after that, they were not able to be friends like before. She figured if she erased everything about Kaname, they may be able to start over and become friends again without the awkward feelings.

Maki - Ryoichi thought Maki was looking for Kiokuya to erase some unpleasant memories. Then he found out she was Kiokuya, who inherited her ability from her grandfather. In the end, Maki confessed to the burden of being Kiokuya and Ryoichi told her he would support her and that she didn’t have to do it alone. Maki decided to erase anything Kiokuya related in his memory, but their friendship remained intact. Oh, Maki was 17 in the book and also had a crush on Ryoichi. She erased his memories many times before. Like in the movie, she also would like Ryoichi to love her just once, although he never ever saw her as anyone other than his annoying little sister. 😅

The director of the movie, Hirakawa Yuichi, also wrote or co-wrote the script. While the movie stuck to the themes of the novel, the motivations were completely different. Kyoko and Misao were both rape victims, Takahara now wanted to protect his young daughter from the sadness of his death, and Maki was herself kidnapped by a psychopath when she was a kid. I guess Hirakawa needed to pump up the drama and felt the stakes were not high enough for a 2 hour movie? There is always some uneasiness with using rape and trauma to move the story along. I guess there is a difference between this and the usual example of “fridging a female character”, i.e. kill a love interest of the hero to motivate him on some journey. Ryoichi was motivated by being erased and he actually gradually realized he should not push for restoring Kyoko’s memories if it was her wish. He only found out what happened to her at the end of the movie. Considering their relationship in the movie was a lot more serious, they couldn’t really use the phobia of darkness reason. However, it would also take something really big for Kyoko to want her memory erased while not talking to Ryoichi beforehand. Anyway, I really don’t see a way out of this.

For Misao though, I didn’t think they needed to make her a victim of the same serial rapist, especially when they use the same reason as the book for erasing Kaname. I suppose they need to explain why Nanami (and later Ryoichi) was looking into them? But they could just have the doctor referred the case (who appeared to be breaking doctor-patient confidentiality?! Just me?) In fact, the whole Misao / Kaname storyline didn’t really do much other than allowing Ryoichi to find out from Kaname that Kiokuya was a young girl.

Maki’s childhood trauma was also a bit excessive. I can’t see it as anything other than to get Ryoichi out to Hiroshima to talk to Grandpa. While finding out mom was “dealing with” uncle would be traumatic for a young child, it might not be dramatic enough for a movie.

Ryoichi & Maki’s origins were also changed. They were now raised in Hiroshima and moved to Tokyo to attend university. The only reason was to place Grandpa-Kiokuya in Hiroshima after the bombing. While I liked the grandpa scene, was it necessary? They already covered the “Kiokuya after WWII” with the interview with the elderly woman. I think they could still keep Grandpa, since he was Kiokuya (and ironically suffering from Alzheimer’s) but maybe just skip the elderly woman part and use those minutes to build Ryoichi & Kyoko’s relationship! 

Upgrading Ryoichi & Kyoko’s relationship to being engaged gave him more incentive to look for Kiokuya, but all we got to see was 1 proposal scene and some snapshots, which made it harder for us to understand the loss Ryoichi experienced when Kyoko forgot him. Ultimately, I feel that more time should be given to the “before” times. They don’t even need that much. If done effectively like the movie Searching with John Cho, 5 minutes or so of clips would be enough to get us to care more. I’m not saying people won’t care, but it’s true that there are people who didn’t quite feel it. Yamada basically had to sell it with longing looks at Renbutsu, so how deeply you feel for them depends on whether you buy it or not.

Takahara’s story might have been changed because of who they cast. Also, Takahara & Nanami’s relationship in the book was kinda weird, considering Nanami actually loved him and she was 17 while he was 30. I definitely cannot agree with how Movie Takahara wanted to erase his daughter’s memory to spare her the pain of losing him. It reminded me of that Black Mirror episode where the mom put in a blocker to shield her daughter from bad things. It ended up messing up the girl & broke their relationship. Young children are resilient and the sadness would eventually change into something else, which would shape their characters. Also, just because she forgot her birth father didn’t mean she would suddenly get along with her stepfather. I won’t even get into the whole consent thing. It was a good thing Maki did not follow through.

Less good was what Movie Maki did to Ryoichi & Kyoko though. When I found out Movie Ryoichi & Kyoko were engaged instead of “pre-dating” like in the book, I was quite worried they would have Movie Maki erase Ryoichi from Kyoko’s mind for selfish reasons. I was hoping that maybe he got erased by mistake, but unfortunately, the script did go with the jealousy angle, which made Maki extremely unsympathetic.

In the visual commentary, they said they rewrote the ending because it didn’t fit. Maki erased her entire existence from Ryoichi's mind as penance for what she did. (I think initially, they were going with the book ending where Maki just erased Kiokuya from his head.) In the end, the actual cut used in the movie was more ambiguous - they “left it to the audience” to decide how much Maki erased and whether Ryoichi & Kyoko got a second chance at happiness. (The director said it ended on a hopeful note. Take it how you want.)

It’s unclear if Movie Maki erased Ryoichi’s memories more than once, but Book Maki had done it many times. Even though Book Maki seemed more responsible with her powers and didn’t slip up like Movie Maki, she did wipe part of Ryoichi’s memories without his consent. Ryoichi said that she didn’t have to do this alone and she could lean on him, so why didn’t she? Also, losing all that memory got to have some long term effect on him, right? In the movie, it was worse because Maki took the “easy” way out by erasing herself. Yes, she was punishing herself, but shouldn’t the more courageous thing to do was to own up to what she had done and work for Ryoichi’s (& Kyoko’s) forgiveness?

Speaking of Ryoichi’s forgiveness, I actually saw some viewers calling Ryoichi a cad for telling Maki that he would always protect her and be by her side to protect her. Apparently they seemed to think he was in love with Maki and forgot all about Kyoko. Well, I think in that moment, there were 3 things going on: 1) Takahara told him that it was better to forgive and that there will be justice in other ways, 2) he understood why it was devastating to Kyoko to remember what happened and 3) Maki was like his little sister. His immediate desire to comfort his friend overrode the anger and betrayal he might have felt. Had Maki not erased his memory around 2 minutes after, who knew if they would have a more substantial talk? He didn’t even have a chance to talk to Kyoko. (I suspect Maki would have tried to “spare him” by erasing his relationship with Kyoko as well. He still ended up at the cafe because he could remember physically going there a lot.)

Overall, I think the movie was a bit unfocused due to some extraneous storylines and having too much exposition, which was a disservice to some of the characters. It failed to show how their relationships build, like Ryoichi & Takahara became buddies over what seemed like a week! I wish they trimmed a couple of the minor stories and used that time to go deeper on the main lines.

Characters / Actors:

Yoshimura Ryoichi (Yamada Ryosuke)

I was watching the movie and halfway through when it hit me… Yamada’s Ryoichi was… normal? I mean obviously quite good looking in the boy-next-door kind of way, but Ryoichi was a regular, run-of-the-mill university student, who was normally an optimistic and forgiving but happened to be dealing with heartbreak at the moment. Seriously, if you’ve watched Yamada’s other works, his characters are usually kind of comedic, sort of pathetic, occasionally brilliant, psychotic, or… non-human. (Very odd roles for a Johnny’s actor.) He probably has not been this normal since the 24Hr drama. He still cried a lot, so that’s familiar.

OK, let’s get back on topic. Since Book Ryoichi functioned more as a character that connects the short stories rather than a real character, I didn’t have hopes for the movie version. Surprisingly, Movie Ryoichi came across as a real person and I did care what happened to him. While we didn’t get to see how Ryoichi & Kyoko were in happier times, he was able to convey the longing and slight awkwardness in their interaction when he tried to talk to her after. Similarly, in the scene where he learned of Takahara’s death, you could tell what was going through his mind even though he said nothing. Same with the final “confrontation” with Maki. Even though he didn’t say much, his eyes conveyed the emotions subtly: the longing, shock, confusion, etc. Overall, he was quite subtle and natural. As the articles say, he managed to “suppress his aura” and played an average guy. I hope he can play more of these subtle types of roles in future. (It is unfortunate that a lot of people have preconceived notions about Johnny’s actors, to put it politely. It’s like the reverse of the “fan blinder” that we sometimes get accused of having.)

Now there are some discussions as to whether he overacted in the crying scenes. The main “crying” scenes were probably 1) confession to grandpa in Hiroshima, 2) in the rain, and 3) reading the letter. I’ve seen people say he overacted in either 1) or 2).

When I first watched the Hiroshima scene, I did feel that his crying may have been a bit much because I was watching the movie with just Japanese subtitles, so I missed an important detail: Ryoichi told his mom he was going to Hiroshima to confront his past. When you consider that Ryoichi had been carrying the guilt for “causing” Maki’s kidnapping for 15 years, it was totally reasonable for him to prostrate himself in front of Grandpa. He would also be relieved when Grandpa told him the statute of limitation was over and he should forgive himself. As an aside, according to the director in the visual commentary, Yamada cried in the first take of the scene. Hirakawa said “Aren’t you crying too much?” Yamada said “OK, I’ll do another take without crying.” However, when the Director was cutting the movie together, he suddenly saw Ryoichi’s mental journey and ended up using the first take because it was the logical conclusion to the closure he got.

In the rain scene, he just learned about Kyoko’s attack. Knowing how much hurt she endured and how he did nothing to support and comfort her, he was still in a state of shock when he got knocked down. Then the dam burst and he cried hysterically. That seemed quite reasonable to me. I was more shocked that nobody checked on the guy who fell on the pavement and was crying. Pedestrians were cold! So I don’t really understand the objection to that scene. Maybe they thought this was something that happened a while ago and/or he didn’t love Kyoko that much, so he wouldn’t be that emotional?

I don’t think people have issues with the letter scene? Narratively, it made the most sense since he was close with Takahara, who was literally speaking to him from the grave via the letter. Oh, they talked about filming the letter scene in the visual commentary. Yamada was just reading the letter in silence and they added in Takahara’s narration in post production. Since he wanted to save the emotional outburst for the real take, he did not dare to look at the letter during the rehearsal.

One last thing, Yamada and Yoshine spoke in Hiroshima-ben when they were talking amongst each other. I have horrible listening skills and while I think he used some slang or phrasing, his accent still seemed mostly Kanto. It’s like if I call a bunch of people “wankers” with a Canadian accent; it doesn’t make me sound English. Maybe someone can tell me just how well (or not) he did.

Kawai Maki (Yoshine Kyoko)

I have only watched Yoshine in the drama Stay Tuned and I liked her there. She played this airhead character who could be super annoying if the balance was off, yet she came across as likeable. I think she portrayed Maki very well in this movie. Of course, I knew she was Kiokuya going in, so even at the beginning, you could see some of her subtle reactions to the Kiokuya discussions. I really liked her chemistry with Yamada - they felt like they could have been lifelong friends. While she played the annoying little sister part quite well, you could also see the pain she felt when she had to make difficult choices like erasing Nanami’s memory. Throughout the movie, you could sense her regret for what she did to Ryoichi. Her emotions in the final scene were also very raw. While Maki’s characterization was problematic, Yoshine was really good at playing that character and you might even be sympathetic towards her. Also, I feel that her Hiroshima-ben might be more on point? Some people didn’t buy that she was in love with Ryoichi the whole time. I thought the flashbacks made it pretty clear but I’ve also read the book, so there’s that.

In the visual commentary, they were talking about their various acting styles. Yoshine said she carried her emotions with her even after the director shouted cut. So when she was shooting the last scene, she was still crying furiously afterwards. Yamada said she was like an acting monster - she could get right into the emotions even during the table read. It was funny how different she is from Yamada and Renbutsu. They are the flip-the-switch type - when the director yells cut, it was like they woke up from a dream into a different world. She also apologized to Yamada when they were watching the scene where she confessed to selfishly erasing Kyoko’s memory of Ryoichi.😅

Takahara Tomoaki (Sasaki Kuranosuke)

I have not seen Sasaki’s other projects, so I had no idea what to expect. His Takahara came  across as pretty charming, easy going, and playful, though you could feel his love for his daughter and the hard decision he had to make. He also had a natural chemistry with the other cast and was very believable. While I disagree with what Takahara wanted, Sasaki’s acting as Takahara made sense. I don’t know what more to say. It is probably expected since he is a veteran and is generally well regarded as an actor.

Sawada Kyoko (Renbutsu Misako)

I have only seen Renbutsu in Hagaren. I liked her character there. I also liked how Yamada decided to break the ice with her back then by asking if she has any friends. (She had more friends than him. 😅) To be honest, there wasn’t much for her to do in this movie, although I think she was believable as the very confused Kyoko. She was apprehensive about Ryoichi in the “after” scenes, who was honestly coming across too strong. I don’t think Ryoichi & Kyoko really had crackling sexual chemistry based on the proposal scene, but they seemed like a cute couple. They were pretty cute together in the behind-the-scenes featurette when they took the “dating photos”. I wish those dates were included in the movie.

Conclusion:

As you can see above, I have some general issues about the script but I think the actors elevated the story. The movie could have been better if it streamlined some of the storylines. Right now, it was trying to go for a deeper message but the stories themselves were a bit too superficial to accomplish that. I suppose the problem was that the original novel was more like an anthology of short stories dealing with memory, so it was hard to create a through line for a movie.

[wolf-stark]

You ask I deliver — both tfatws asks in one!

tfatws weekly ask 1

i finally saw ep1!! i wont be able to see ep2 until thursday at the earliest but i already have some Thots on this ep. here are the ones I remember

first is, and i'm so sorry for this, a grammar lesson. an appositive is when you stick an additional phrase in between commas, dashes, or the like. i actually just used one! the "and i'm so sorry for this" in the first sentence of this paragraph is an appositive. thing is, most english speakers don't normally use them when they speak, only in writing. so i'm always on high alert whenever i hear somebody in tv or movies use one. (it's generally a marker of bad screenwriting). anyway there was one right in the beginning of the episode. the white army guy yelling at sam wilson said "first lieutenant Torres, our intel officer, will be helping on the ground." yeah so. the writing of this series started out on the wrong foot for me. but the rest of the episode was obviously tons and tons better (every interview i see with malcolm spellman makes me love him more and more)

the contrast between the opening minutes (falcon action sequence) and the rest of the ep.... i would 100000/10 rather watch a series with just sam and bucky dealing with life. i dont give a single crap about the flag-smashers or any of that. i just want sam, sarah & fam getting their boating business back on the ground & yeeting racist dickwads, bucky going through therapy and making amends, sam and joaquin being bros, sambucky homoerotic tension, etc.

the cinnamontography! wandavision mostly used cinematography to signify era n stuff. tfatws doesn't have wv's premise to go off of, so here's some tricks i noticed:

with sam there's obviously all sorts of shots with the captain america iconography next to his face, but he hasn't totally claimed it. there's the mural of steve rogers in the background; there's sam staring into the shield like it's a spectre of steve's face; there's sam looking into the exhibit, the shield and sam separated by glass and a layer of camera focus. steve is a constant spectre, always there, an idea, a symbol himself. sam's relationship with this iconography is distanced. he is separated by glass exhibit walls. by painting canvases. he doesn't yet feel worthy to take on that iconography. this whole thing was pulled off quite well but also a bit on-the-nose if only in quantity. there's just sooooo much fancy iconography stuff

speaking of the exhibit, there's something that i get real pissy about. it's when like, there's an action going on you're supposed to be paying attention to but the cinematographer is like,,,, hey! check out this location! or this headline! or something! there was a lot of that in the exhibit. the camera was like, you could focus on sam and rhodey's convo (which was fine but could have been so much better with an extra like 10 minutes of deep character study talk) but noooo you want me to look at the symbol for the united nations and read all the text about bucky who hasn't even showed up yet. shut up i know the lore and ill watch the shot-by-shot breakdown yt vids you don't have to make the shot this long jkdsalcjklasejf

my fav trick was with bucky and the therapist. i had seen a clip of the scene with bucky and the therapist beforehand and i thought the cinnamontography was super obnoxious, but then i was like, oh duh. the shots frequently change the distance between the camera and its subject. sometimes it's uncomfortably close and sometimes it's really far. a clear allegory for the duality of therapy, esp for bucky! therapy is an invasive process wherein he is ruthlessly examined, picked apart, and berated for his trauma (this therapist is crap in every way btw, "mean therapist" works for greg house and greg house only). so the camera goes close. it makes the viewer claustrophobic like bucky. but when he's like "no i haven't had any nightmares" the camera suddenly goes really far. we see bucky as this tiny head in the center of the bottom of the frame. we are distanced from him. he has pushed us away. we cannot see him. he lies because he is vulnerable. so yeah, amazing work there. the therapy scene was hard to watch on purpose!

did bucky slip a note to yori inside the dollar bill? bucky stop making me emooooo. the suuper awkward fake smile has me 😭 (veteran trying to adjust!)

mark my worrrrds when sam asks someone y the govt picked john “white bread” walker they’re gonna say “we needed somebody everyone can get behind....someone uncontroversial, someone everyone can see themselves in” like that exact racist dog whistle

tfatws weekly ask 2

just saw ep2 so im taking advantage of the 2 seconds i can be on tumblr without worrying about tfatws spoilers before new episode drops

when isaiah said "your people put me in prison for being a hero" and bucky thought "your people" means hydra. 🤦‍♂️

speaking of racism, the interplay between sam being Black (anti-Black racism) and sam being the Falcon (negrophilia, "can i take a selfie w you as i deny you a loan?") and the intersection between the two (j*hn lichrally called sam "steve's wingman"! he takes the crypto out of crypto-racist in like 2 seconds!) !!!!!!!! a Black celebrity's Black experience, the separation of man and identity!!!! (thinking about vanessa bayer in snl in that skit "beyonce is black" telling her black friend "you're not black, you're...my girl!")

after sam gets racially profiled by cops we see j*hn standing in front of cop cars cinematic parallels turns out j*hn is racist who knew

this therapist sucks major ass but she got bucky and sam together in the same room and ready to collaborate...that's something ig. it was lichrally couple's therapy she said she used her miracle exercise with couples sambucky antis get blended

bucky says "he was wrong about you so maybe he was wrong about me"...that's not how people talk. when therapist asks bucky, the guy who doesn't talk at all about himself, "y do you hate sam", the last thing bucky's gonna do is actually connect his hatred of sam to his own self-worth issues. bucky generally refuses to talk about himself, so why would he talk about himself in the one context that nobody ever links back to their own neuroses: hatred of other people? one thing human beings hate most is admitting we're wrong. admitting you hate someone because of your own issues? that's a major therapeutic step. bucky would absolutely have to be prompted to do that. even like one or two lines of dialogue more would have set up that line better. but in terms of the actual thought? an amazing way to take the sam/bucky relationship. bucky bases his self-worth on steve believing in him, and if steve is wrong bucky has no self-worth, so 1) he has to develop self-worth disassociated from steve's assessment of him and 2) he has to love himself before he can love sam, and 3) he has to realize that sam giving up the shield is a sign of sam's humility not his unworthiness.

conversely, we don't get into why sam hates bucky? yeah sam has the right to hate a guy that has tried to kill him (albeit while brainwashed) multiple times, and now shows up in his life just to bash him but. everything happens so fast i cant follow their relationship

in fact i dont feel like i understood much of anything. like y did bucky and sam go on that mission together? how connected are sam/bucky/joaquin with the government? doesn't bucky just want to retire now? literally what is everyone doing/feeling and why???

if battlestar becomes a knowing commentary on the black best friend stereotype i'm gonna party, but i dont expect much of that

the interplay between man and symbol. captain america is obviously a symbol. the shield is obviously a symbol. but steve rogers? the. man behind the cowl? he too seems to become a symbol. a paragon of a good guy, so good he's unreachable. steve was just a guy stop idolizing him the last thing steve would want is to be idolized

as the resident musician/music nerd on mcublr, 1) that captain america rally music slaps, but 2) re: the song at the end of the ep, if you're just gonna rip off mozart's lacrymosa then at least play mozart's lacrymosa. we wont blame you the lacrymosa slaps (if you dont know what im talking about go on yt and search it up youll recognize it fo sho

look i love enfys nest as much as the next guy but if tfatws is gonna get erin kellyman to play another innocent little gurl blackmailed into the fakeout-villain position (her text seemed to suggest as such) then 😡 like why can't women just....be evil? young, freckly, innocent-looking women? girls are not untouchable pure objects but full of rage and resentment just as much as anyone can be

bonus ep1 comment: bucky says about that senator whose car he hijacked, "she continued to abuse the power i gave her." fictionaldarling on yt say that he says "i" because he can't disassociate himself from his winter soldier persona which begets endless and senseless guilt. like dude. can i not be emo for like 1 second.

OKay. First off, as much I enjoy your sending it to me, what made you decide to send me these??

-

TFATWS WA #1

Don't worry about getting this to me as early as possible. I usually don't watch the episode right away.

1. Cool writing lesson.

2. Everyone wants a comedy show [like Friends] about the MCU superheroes.

3. Cinematography is always a beautiful thing.

4. Sam definitely has to carve his own Captain America status for himself, outside of Steve's ya know everything.

5. They have to do that for people who was just now tuning in because they're in love with Sam Wilson or Sharon Carter.

6. I think the therapist was taking a 'tough love' approach for Bucky, because she likely has some very strong opinions about the literal assassin she's been assigned to give therapy too. She did not choose to talk to him, she was assigned that make that clear in the second episode.

And, Bucky isn't lying when he said it wasn't a nightmare. It wasn't a nightmare, it was a resurfaced memory. So, technically he wasn't lying - and yes, the camera does move away because while he's saying he didn't have a nightmare, he's not expanding on what actually happened - so, he's still pushing the therapist/us away.

7. Bucky, and Steve, have/had a TON to adjust to.

8. Yeah, I agree that will be the bullshit line they give. If they ever actually talk about it.

TFATW WA #2

Yeah, always got to take advantage of avoiding those spoilers lmfaoo.

1. Honestly, that line was double meaning. Both about White people and Hydra [which is made up of mostly white supremacists/nazis] So, the line is gesturing to both White People in general and Hydra assholes together. I think the terminology is “double edge sword”??

2. This whole paragraph structure confused me, ngl - so I'm going to answer it the best I can. I do like that they're not ignoring the fact that Sam being Black is 1000% the reason he's not the Official Captain America - because the gov't is racist as hell.

I also like the little lines about how they point out little things about Sam's Falcon persona, like that kid calling him 'Black Falcon' specifically and Sam's response show the split between Sam and Falcon itself.

John is a dick for calling Sam the wingman of Steve Rogers. Sam was a hero all on his own before Steve asked him to join up again. [Side note, it's lichrally??]

3. Exactly, the parallel of Sam being profiled and surrounded while just on the street and John being surrounded by fans and being able to spring Bucky with apparently only a few sentences shows a Loooooot

4. Honestly, at this point I wonder if she's not actually a therapist and is just an agent assigned to assess Bucky outside of an Official Building. I do know, however, that her 'look at each other and speak' exercise is actually a real therapy practice. It's just a little slower.

5. Actually, I think he would've blurted that out. That whole line. I don't think Bucky hates Sam. I think they could've done the scene better, but I think that had Sam prodded him/the therapist been more annoying Bucky would've lost control of his emotions and blurted out the whole "If he was wrong about you, he was wrong about me" but I feel like the writing for this show is just... not there. Sometimes you blurt shit when you get overemotional and I think that was what Bucky was supposed to be like.

6. I don't think Sam hates Bucky, I think he doesn't trust him though. I do wish they'd talked about that though. The whole 'talk to each other' scene should've been a LOT longer and a LOT slower.

7. Sam and Bucky's relationship is being fast tracked because they don't really know how to work the relationship out, writers-room-wise. Bucky is technically retired, but I feel like he's trying to live up to Steve's expectations and doing what Steve would've done and we all know that if Steve was there, Steve would've jumped on that plane with Sam. It looks like Sam/Bucky/Joaquin are a side-team based from Military services but as Sam says they're all free agents so...?

8. Sadly, They seem to just be propping up to be another stereotype.

9. Captain America is a symbol. Steve Rogers is a man. But now Steve Rogers is an idol because of all the shit he's been through and honestly, it's not a bad thing he's become an idol for people - it's using Steve as a reason to make White Bread Walker the next Captain that makes Steve's idolization so fucked.

10. I don't know anything about music so I have no opinion here, sorry.

11. Enfys?? Also, I think they did the whole Innocent Girl Thing as side commentary for Bucky lowering his guard about seeing a young girl rather than a guy.

12. Bucky is the Winter Solider. The Winter Solider is Bucky. That is how Bucky will always see it because although he was brainwashed, it was still him and he remembers all of it. When you have constant memories of something 'someone else' did, you tend to not be able to pull the two personas out of each other. I want Bucky to take up the title, White Wolf instead of Winter Soldier. Honest.

This is all my opinion, I’m honestly a little disappointed with the writing of TFATWS so far so... I’m not really optimistic about this.

[venusandromedadjarin]

I’ve Just Seen a Face

Ch. 2, Masters of War

Chapter Song Recommendation: I’ve Just Seen a Face by the Beatles

18+, slight angst, soft!Frankie, mention of stitches, mention of death, 2k words

Joan is nice enough to bring you a book after her morning rounds and it’s a much needed distraction from all the poking and prodding the doctors puts you through. The day passes slowly since you don’t sleep much. The doctor reluctantly agreed to lower the dosage on the pain medication, rolling his eyes throughout your arguing before finally signing off on your chart. That was hours ago, and even though your head and side is throbbing, your mind is starting to clear. The reading helps, even though you aren’t really sure what the book is even about. Laughter from next door breaks your focus from the pages, and you look up to see the clock reads 7pm. The guys are probably visiting Pope since the days officially over. 

Your ring catches your eye on the counter and you stare at it for a second before looking away. Shaking your head, you open the book back up, thumbing at the corner of the page. You don’t look up when the curtain slides open, the laughter getting louder, before dissipating again when it’s closed, “Hey, can I.. uh, can I come in?” The voice is gruff, but soft and smooth all at the same time. It’s a conundrum that makes you smile against your will. 

“Hey Morales, you’re already in the room so make yourself at home.” 

“Frankie,” he sighs. When you look up at him, your brows knitting together, he elaborates, “You can call me Frankie.” He smiles sadly down at you, wringing his cover between his tan hands. You can’t help but stare at them, noticing the small scares that litter his knuckles and his thick fingers. Quickly, you shake your head and gesture to the foot of the bed before trying to scoot back. He reaches towards you when you wince, almost reflexively, “Here, hold on.” Frankie sets his hat on the counter next to the ring, hesitating for a second, before stepping towards you. He reaches out a hand and when you grasp it, he helps you sit up before grabbing the pillows behind you and stacking them up. He nods for you to scoot back and doesn’t take his eyes off of you while you do, squeezing his hand in the process and trying to not to gasp at the pain in your side. When you’re settled, he loosens his grip and moves towards the edge of bed, sinking down to sit at your feet. He leans so that his body is angled towards you. You’re both silent for a second before, “I wanted to say I’m sorry about Sergeant Kearnes…”

You stiffen for a second, glancing at the ring and you see his gaze follows yours. Before answering him you close the book, dog earring your page, and throw it onto the counter as best you can. “Thank you.” It comes out shorter than you expected it to and you blanch, “I’m sorry. I-“

“You don’t need to apologize, Costa,” he runs his hand over his short hair, fidgeting because he doesn’t know what to say. 

“Alex.” Frankie lifts his head to look at you, his brown eyes searching your face and you find yourself smiling for the second time since he’d entered the room. “Why does Pope call you Fish?”

He chuckles, and it’s a sound unlike anything you’d ever heard. It’s a sound you could get used to hearing. Guilt trickles through you and you look over at the ring again, and he notices it, his chuckle dissipating. “We all have call signs. Well, except Benny,” Frankie looks towards the curtain, the men’s voices low on the other side. “Pope is the most faithful of the group… not to women, maybe. But to us. We’re a family. He has hope, so much hope. The guy’s insane sometimes, drives us crazy. Tom ‘Redfly’ Miller is the head of the team. He’s the oldest, too and the wisest. He’s pretty serious but he’s a good guy, his intuition has gotten us out of some messed up shit.” Frankie looks at you, only to find you watching him intently and he smirks, his cheeks becoming pink. “William ‘Ironhead’ Miller, he’s a fucking soldier if I’ve ever seen one. I’ve never met anyone more proud to be serving. Benny is his little brother. They both signed up after 9/11. Somehow we all ended up on Delta Force and now we’re a family.”

You tsk, “You still didn’t tell me why they call you Fish.” He blushes again, rubbing his hand over his hair before clasping them together in his lap. His nervousness makes you laugh playfully, “Tell me!” 

“Whiskers,” he chuckles again and it’s your turn to blush. When we were training together, I kept getting counseled because my facial hair grows back too quickly.”

“No,” you breath out with a laugh. The movement makes your side prickle with pain and you grasp it, but motion for him to go on.

“I’m serious! I’d fucking shave at 0500 and then by noon it would be growing back. The whole base knew it and so someone made a joke that I had whiskers like a fucking catfish and, well.”

“Your call sign is Catfish?!” You snort and he blushes harder, but the minute he sees you whimper in pain he reaches towards you. His fingertips come to rest on your wrist as you grasp your ribs, your breathing labored from laughing. For some reason, you don’t shrug away from his touch. 

Frankie glances down at his hand on yours before quickly pulling away. “I’m sorry, Alex” he stammers. You shake your head, glancing toward the ring again. He studies you as you look at it, watches as you wipe a few tears away and then shrug. “Hey,” his voice is soft and you look back at him, this time your grey eyes search his face, looking for any sign of malice or bad motives. When you find none, you make eye contact, his brown eyes soft in the dim light. “Maybe this is overstepping, but do you want to talk about it?”

The curtain slides open just then, and Pope sticks his head through, glancing between the two of you while Frankie looks startled and embarrassed all at the same time. “The guys are heading back to the barracks. Are you staying here, Fish?” Pope doesn’t miss the way his best friend looks towards you, asking for permission or for an order to leave, and he definitely doesn’t miss the way you subtly nod towards Frankie. 

He clears his throat, glancing back at Pope, “I’m going to stay a bit longer.” The man nods before closing the curtain, and a minute later there’s scuffling and laughing next door. Frankies shakes his head, “That’s probably Benny.” 

A door closes and the room quiets down again. Soon after, Pope’s overhead light turns off and the only lights that are on are the dim ones on your side and the reading light Joan clipped to your I.V. stand. You silently study each other for a moment, the faint blush creeping back onto Frankie’s cheeks. When you finally speak, your voice comes out stronger than you expect it to, “Beau was complicated.” 

He waits for you to go on, but when you don’t elaborate he knits his eyebrows together, “How so?”

You sigh, picking at a loose thread on the blanket covering your legs and suddenly aware that all you have on is a flimsy gown. “We met when we were really young, in college before he enlisted. I was going to school for journalism and I never thought I’d land in the Middle East. It was never vey serious, but by the time we graduated, we’d been on and off for a few years so we decided to move in together. It was rough, he wasn’t faithful through it, and I decided to go back for a Masters. Right when I was about to graduate, he came home with the news he enlisted and I was livid. Beau went to basic, and I got a job as a journalist for a huge news station… When I got the offer to come overseas and photograph the war, I wanted to turn it down, but he claimed it would be good for us. So I did, I packed everything up and threw it in storage. About a year in, he proposed on the base we were at so that we wouldn’t have to split up again and then we got moved here. We’d only been engaged a couple months, and it’s not like we had the wedding planned. Our life is here. Well, he wanted it to be.”

Frankie sighs, searching your face for the inevitable tears, but none come, “Do you love him?”

You look up at him, sadly before whispering, “I used to. Am I bad person for that?”

“No, Alex.” 

The two of you sit in silence for awhile before Frankie leaves, and by that time you’re so exhausted you don’t realize he leaves his cover next to the ring. 

The next morning, the doctor discharges you after taking out the stitches in your scalp and checking the ones in your side. Your concussion has pretty much healed, but your head still aches if you focus on something for too long. As you’re gathering your belongings and about to pull on the medical sweatpants, you hear someone clear their throat on the other side of the curtain. Pope’s getting the last round of x-rays to make sure he’s cleared, so you call out and ask who it is.

“It’s me.. uh, it’s Frankie.” Your heart leaps a little and you try to calm your nerves before calling back to him to tell him he can come in. He looks shy in the bright light as he enters and sets down a pile of clothes on the counter, letting the boots he’s holding drop to the floor. “Um, Brandt is back from her post and I figured you might want clean clothes…” he trails off, wringing his hands as he sits on the edge of the bed. 

“Thank you,” you smile at him before taking the pile and going into yours and Pope’s shared bathroom to change. Your stitches tug when you pull the shirt over your head and you grimace, trying to keep your breathing even for your lung’s sake. Looking in the mirror, you realize how exhausted you look and you can’t wait to shower back at the barracks. You pull your jeans before splashing water onto your short hair, trying to tame it. Frankie looks up when you come back in the room, and you think you see his eyes shine a little but he quickly looks away while you sit down next to him to pull on your boots. 

“The team has a meeting later, but after that we were going to go to dinner at the mess and then that movie they’re showing in the warehouse. Figure there’s nothing better to do.” 

You look over at him as you finish lacing your boots, arching a brow at him, “Catfish, are you asking me to come?” He startles and looks down at you, a blush creeping across his cheeks.

“I-I don’t want to be disrespectful, I just-“

“Yes, I’ll come with you,” your smile makes his blush deepen, his own smile playing at his lips. He stands up to his full height, waiting for you to finish, before grabbing his cover from the counter. 

“Here,” he takes the ring gently and holds it out to you, expecting some sort of backlash, but you silently take it and tuck into your jeans pocket as you stand up. Against your protests, he picks up the bag with your cameras and salvaged clothing before holding the curtain open for you. The main door to the room is open and you blanche at the strong lights in the hallway. The hospital bustles around the two of you as you make your way to the entrance. He tugs his cover on before pushing the door open. 

The heat from outside forces its way through the doors before you even step out into the blazing sun. The base is calm. The Beatles pours out of a radio near a handful of soldiers playing basketball on the make shift court which makes you smile, “Beau would be whining about getting his ass kicked out there.” You laugh, holding a hand to your brow, trying to block some of the light.

Frankie studies you before making his way towards the barracks and you fall into step beside him. He walks slow for your sake, afraid of making the wound in your side or your lung ache. “Are you okay?”

You glance at him out of the corner of your eyes, “Honestly?” He nods down at you, his cover blocking the sun from his eyes and you can’t help but feel slightly disappointed you can’t seem him in the sun fully. “I’m better than I have been in awhile. I miss him, but I miss the Beau I knew years ago. I just wish it wasn’t like this.” 

The song grows louder while you both walk past, and you hum the lyrics, Had it been another day I might have looked the other way…

Taglist: @amiedala​ @icanbeyourjedi​