#guys im genuinely so happy w how this turned out

[iizubuzu]

frosty fest four design!! ☃️

my ko-fi!

[lemongogo]

[justauthoring]

your hand feels nice in mine.

requested! -> hii loved your natsu fic! 🤭 i’m glad that fairy tail content is coming back. i wanna request something similar w gray.. maybe it’s a hot day n he helps reader

a/n -> honestly it was not my intention to write for fairy tail today... but writing that natsu drabble was so fun and i can't help it im in a fair tail mood lol. also, for the sake of it, let's pretty juvia hasn't joined the guild yet okay?

pairing -> gray fullbuster x f!reader

it was far too hot.

ridiculously hot.

really, it shouldn't even be humanely possible for it to be this hot. hot enough that you were sweating profusely, it building up on your forehead and leaving you feeling gross and sticky. you were thirsty and your movements felt luggish, as if you might just pass out on the spot.

clearly, the universe had something against you because this was starting to feel like a personal attack.

your eyes flicker to your teammate who seems all too unaffected by the heat; which, yes, to be fair was to be expected. gray was an ice wizard and you knew he ran cold, so obviously this heat wasn't impacting him as much. he looked somewhat warm, you guessed, a small build up of sweat lining his forehead.

but he wasn't dragging his feet and he didn't look flushed or uncomfortable. nothing like you at least.

walking ahead of you, gray looks perfectly fine which, unfortunately, is just irritating you more. how was it fair that he was fine while you were practically dying?

"dumb ice wizard with your stupid ice powers and cooling abilities," you mumble to yourself, grouchy and annoyed.

you just wanted this mission to be over but it was looking like you were going to be stuck on this island for a while longer if the fact that you guys hadn't even found your clients target yet was anything to go by. the rest of team natsu had split up in search of them; natsu and happy with lucy and erza with carla and wendy.

which left you with the stupid, unbothered and cool gray.

truthfully, you're not even sure how you're going to even be able fight the damn target when you do reach them because it was so hot!

"are you okay?"

if he hadn't spoken, you would've ended up walking right into gray. but his voice is enough to snap you out of your own sulking, blinking as you stop and meet his gaze. his words seem genuine and you're sure he is concerned but the damn smirk on his lips just pisses you off more.

"fine," you reply sharply, turning to walk past him.

gray reaches for you before you can, his hand wrapping around your arm and halting your steps as he pulls you back towards him.

regrettably, even if his cold hand feels soothing on your skin.

"what—"

gray just lets out a chuckle, shifting you so you're stood in front of him before pressing his palm against your forehead. whatever you'd been about to say promptly falls silent the second it does. instantly, a cold, gentle breeze flows over you, enveloping your entire body in a cooling sensation that has your tensed muscles relaxing.

"oh."

"feel better?"

glancing up at gray, you blink at him, dazed. "much," you admit, nodding, "your magic feels so nice."

gray flushes slightly at your words, the compliment making his insides feel funny as he coughs, trying to pretend like that hadn't affected him. "w-well, i'm glad. you looked pretty miserable."

as the feeling floods you, you start to gather your bearings, now just realizing how close you were to gray. his hand was raised, pressed against your forehead, but his other hand still rested on your arm and the two of you were very close.

you feel your cheeks warm as you lower your gaze.

"th-thank you, gray." you mumble, feeling oddly embarrassed even though you can't reason why. gray was your friend and all he was doing was helping you, his friend, cool down in this ridiculous heat.

there was nothing to be embarrassed about.

still, that couldn't explain the flush on both of your cheeks.

"here," gray shifts, moving his hand and you have to resist the urge to moan at the loss of his hand. he lets go of your arm and moves to stand beside you. and, before you can dwell on the disappointment much longer, gray's face is burning and he's promptly turning away from you, avoiding your gaze.

your eyes then lower, seeing his hand held out towards you, palm inviting.

"gray?"

"hold my hand," he explains, muffled as he shoves his face into his coat collar (surprisingly still on). "i'll keep you cool."

the realization dawns on you, eyes widening. "o-oh," you mumble, forcing the words out as you glance at his hand once again. "okay."

slowly, hesitantly, you slip your hand into his, gray easing into the touch as he threads his fingers through your own, and squeezes.

true to his word, he lets his magic slowly seep out, cooling you and enveloping you in a consant cool sensation. but the heat refuses to fade from your cheeks, all the same, as the two of you avoid each others gaze.

"sh-should we get going?"

"ye-yeah."

-

"y/n?"

"hm?"

"why are you holding gray's hand?"

you snap your attention to lucy at her question, eyes then snapping to gray who's staring back at you, and then finally down to your intwined hands.

a second later, the two of you are pulling away.

"no-no reason!"

"nothing!"

lucy just blinks at the two of you, quirking a knowing brow.

"you guys sure?"

you send a lucy a half-hearted glare, knowing what she's insinuating, and given that she knew more than anyone else there, you refused to let her try and egg you on. "of course," you say firmly, and lucy just laughs. "it was just... hot. gray cooled me down."

hands on her hips, lucy snorts; "okay, then." then, stepping back, she shrugs. "i was just curious."

she leaves the two of you alone and both you and gray stand there for a moment, silent, not sure what to say.

then, gray speaks up; "i didn't mind, you know?"

"hm?" you mumble, meeting his eyes. he just gestures to his hand and your lips part. "oh. me... me neither. it... felt nice." then, you move to clarify; "and not just because of your magic."

"that's good," gray nods, flustered. "i'm glad."

"yeah."

"...wanna... hold hands again?"

you let out a breath of relief. "yes."

[ccswife]

Oh no.

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part 2: donk

previous

next

pairing ๛: kate martin x iowau!reader

synopsis ๛: kate catches you watching your saved edits of her.

not proofread again pls dont eat me! enjoy!!

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oh how rainy it was in iowa city today. you lay in bed staring out the window, curtains pushed open indicating that kate had already gotten up. stretching your limbs and yawing you sit upright in bed, listening to see if kate was in the kitchen. but you didnt have to listen, you could smell the signature eggs and waffles she makes for you during your 'sleepovers'.

not wanting to get up yet, you sit against the headboard and check your phone. the time reads 7:56am. slowly you scroll through insta, snapchat, reply to some imessages, and finally..... tiktok. and the very first thing that pops up on your for you page is an edit of kate.

"are you fucking serious?" the words drip out of your mouth in annoyence as you remember the fiasco from the prior night. your eyebrows crinkle just thinking about what kate said, and how you guys interacted after the fact. but who were you kidding? the whole edit will be watched, and because it was a goooooddd one, to the favorites it went. of course you felt a little guilty favoriting it. it was to a beyonce song— you couldn't remember the name, and it most definitely isn't released because if it was... damn it'd be #1 for years. the song was very catchy, and the lyrics made you giggle while you thought of kate.

sliding out of bed, you make your way to the bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth- maybe run a brush through your hair? yeah no, definitely run a brush through it. finishing up in the bathroom, kate calls from the kitchen.

"y/n!!! the waffles and eggs are ready!" her voice ecos through the apartment.

"im coming!" you yell back, half jogging into the kitchen, as the aroma was absolutely delightful. kate always made such good breakfasts. as you get there, she turns and pushes a plate to your spot, inquiring you.

"you hungry? because i made a lot, i mightve used all your eggs" her beautiful blue eyes make contact with yours, and she smiles. "thats not even a question just sit, cutie" the last part coming out quickly.

----now playing 'donk' by beyonce----

you slowly sit down, slightly flushed and pull the syrup over to drown your waffles. taking the first bite you watch her frame move side to side, obviously looking for something.

"i bought you more hot sauce, its in the left cabinet on the bottom shelf" you say, mouth full of waffle and pointing with your fork. kate gasps to herself and pulls the bottle of chalupa hot sauce out of the cabinet, turning around and beaming at you. it was very obvious she was happy.

"for me ??? you shouldn't have!!" she plops down in her seat next to you and gets busy (eating ofc). the two of you silently eat, an occasional sniff or thud of the counter from the utensils. you think back to the song from the edit you saw earlier, the tune getting stuck in your head.

"i think i wanna go back to school, and have my locker full of pictures of you~" the words flow out of your mouth, not thinking if kate knew the song or not.

she whips her head in your direction, eyebrows pushed together.

"what? are you serious?"

before realizing she is genuinely confused you keep singing, dancing around in your seat, hips moving.

"so give me that A in biology, im graduatin' soon~"

kates still looking at you confused, as you continue you close your eyes and move your fingers, pointing at kate and pushing her shoulder. of course you skip parts in the song, and mess up the lyrics since you'd only listened to it this morning.

"dont, get on get on, get on get on, uh huh~"

kate continues to push her eyebrows further together— if thats even possible, eventually reaching her hand out to grab your arm. you stop and look at her straight on.

"what? whats wrong? do you not like that song?" you chrip out, nervous that shes mad, or something.

"song? thats a song? are you sure?" kate says. "that didn't sound like a song. are you just saying that?"

now its your turn to push your eyebrows together. your mouth twists and you answer her honestly.

"why would i just be saying that? i heard it on tiktok before i got out of bed and its suck in my head. i was actually gonna add it to our playlist," you drop your hand down, but she keeps her grip tight on it. her face relaxes a bit. "but i wont if you dont like it"

kate smiles a little and opens up her mouth to answer, but closes it and shuts her eyes. "i thought— well nevermind. i like it, you can add it if you want, plum"

again your face goes red. plum? she hasnt called you that since sophomore year. the year you decided to never tell her how you actually felt. kates been usuing nicknames way more often, but this one especially caught you off gaurd. "ok then, i will" a sweet smile creeps onto your face.

kates grip on your arm loosens, and she pulls her hand away. slowly though, making sure you guys are touching for as long as possible. you both giggle like schoolgirls at the action.

the day goes on pretty regularly after that. practice, lift, some classes, etc. you get home and hop into the shower, taking a decent amount of time, deeming it reasonable because of the hard day you had. the clock hits 6 and you decide to cook some dinner and wind down on the couch. aimlessly scrolling on tiktok (again? bad reader...smh), you come across a live stream. kates teammate kennise was on with jada, caitlin, and kate. they all seemed to be in caitlins apartment. you locked your eyes on kate, and occasionally looked down to see the comments. and wow, were people going crazy. asking about if they have girlfriends, what game they are most excited for, if they think theyll win the championship this year etc. one specific question popped up a couple of times tho.

'DO YOU GUYS KNOW ABOUT THE EDITS?'

'KATE HAVE YOU SEEN THE EDITS!!??'

'do you think they know guys???? omg'

oh no. you prayed to god that kate didn't see the comments. and if she did? you wished for mercy on your soul for what would come out of her beautiful mouth. and then it happened..

kate read one of the comments aloud.

"do i know about the edits?" she rephrased. "yea i do. a girl i know has a whole folder of edits and i accidentally saw it," she stratches her head and smirks, side eyeing caitlin who shoves kates shoulder.

"they are cool tho, i appreciate you guys supporting us."

you stared at your phone in disbelief. a girl i know? A GIRL I KNOW? as if! as if you dont spend every waking moment together? as if you dont look at eachother a little longer than you should? and that you are way too touchy to just be really close friends?!! its not that you want her to call you her girlfriend or anything (yes you do girl cmon) , but acknowledging that youre her best friend wouldve been a litte better. the fans would understand that. they know you! they see you in the lives and tiktoks! hell youre all over their instagrams! and they know you guys are incredibly close, so it would make sense if you saved them to make fun of her or to do something silly.

you turned the live off and stared at the black tv screen for a couple minutes. the past two days have made you think about your feelings for kate more deeply than you ever have before. and about hers for you. a text buzz comes from your lap, and you read the contact name.

bear🐻

you will never guess what someone just asked on live!!

you stare at the text, not wanting to reply. a simple "what?" is all you answer. getting up, you turn all the lights off and make your way into bed. ignoring whatever kate sent back, you decide its best to distance yourself from her, in lieu of accidentally telling her how you feel, or potentially just ruining the whole friendship.

gosh tomorrow is going to be hard.

as you fall into a deep sleep, your phone buzzes consistently with a specific rhythm, indicating kate is calling. but you ignore it, sticking by your decision. although part of you knew it was petty to be mad at what she said, your stubbornness stopped you from getting over yourself and communicating how you felt about it to her. maybe youll feel better when you wake up. maybe not.

ʊ

ʊ

ʊ

bear🐻

goodnight , plum. i love you

delivered 10:02pm

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A/N q(❂‿❂)p : THE PLOT THICKENS!! this chapters kinda stupid BUT— i tried on this one! kind of just let my brain go crazy but i might go back and edit some stuff. lmk what u guys think😔🤲. i hope this part made sense lolololol. next part soon?🙈 love u goobs. TOODLES!

[laikabu]

saw someone who hc kabru as aromantic bisexual. thats actually kinda good. i dont necessarily subscribe to it but i could see it. not fully aro but in the spectrum i guess

im now just going to ramble about how i think this would work in my head. also labru bc this is my page

he sees flirting more as a game n marriage as something convenient than something he aspires to achieve w the one he loves

flirting n dating is more of a tool to make friends. he isn’t interested in getting serious so that usually turns them off, so he gets labeled as a ‘player’

he doesn’t return rin’s feelings even though he finds her physically attractive, because he genuinely values her friendship and the way he views romance is incompatible with hers and would just break her heart

ok labru territory turn away now sorry im pulling shit out of my ass atp

laios would fit right in with his preferences, because their relationship would be boiled down to “best friends who have sex” like, the easiest way for them to explain their thing

even if they go on dates, they’d be more interested in talking about a current topic or something they need to do, than super sappy stuff. they still do it! but kabru would kinda get uncomfortable with saying sappy stuff, it’s different from flirting. once laios recognizes this, he tells him he doesnt have to do that

it works out because while laios is kinda sentimental, he isn’t really a romantic person. when they were still figuring stuff out, laios just goes “x is mad at me because they think not doing y makes me a bad partner” but really, kabru doesn’t care whether he does it or not

if laios is saying this about a different partner, kabru would chastise him, but since it’s him, he’s totally fine with none of that happening

when it comes to them becoming spouses, they would rather forgo a real wedding and just do the paperwork to make it happen. marcille takes offense to this n thinks its an “affront to romance” esp since kabru wants to plan HER wedding, but neither of them think it’s a big deal

laios has a very hard time distinguishing his platonic feelings to his romantic feelings. he’s just very happy kabru that wouldn’t leave him or get bored of him. getting to kiss him and have sex with him is just a nice bonus.

kissing and cuddling is more of an emotional recharge or comfort etc for kabru than a romantic activity. his friends don’t get it at all.

even in my stupid baby universe its just “kabru wants to have a baby with me for the kingdom? he’s such a nice guy. he told me he wants utaya to live on too… thats so thoughtful.” their relationship is ‘blunt’ and ‘convenient’. the marriage was just to legitimize the heir and otherwise it was just a regular wednesday.

they love each other, but kabru expresses it to the extent that he could, and that works out for laios.

tl;dr basically someone who views romance as a performance than something ingrained w him x someone who struggles w romance. its totally fine if you dont see kabru on the aromantic spectrum, i don’t necessarily see it that way either! i just want to think about how it would work in my fanworks. what do u think. i should add more but im just going off at the top of my head LOL

[elleloquently]

[ ellie still fucking hated coffee.

but she finished off the drink, just because you made it. ]

| a/n : this has genuinely been in the works for months and im so excited to finally be posting it, so please consider leaving a comment/reblogging! it took ages but im very happy with the end result. over time i had a bunch of requests for coffee shop/college barista au's so i kinda mashed them together. please enjoy! <3

| c/w : swearing

coffee talk - ellie williams

the late summer air might've subconsciously motivated ellie's walk that day, her relaxed demeanour acted as a foolish guise from her anxious thoughts. she usually waited until the last possible minute to leave for class, but something today was different.

maybe she hoped that if she walked around for awhile, her body and mind would tire themselves before class, leaving herself sleepy with concentration instead. maybe she hoped that her early start would somehow prompt a late arrival to class, giving her an excuse to just not go.

ellie sighed, squinting in the sun. it was too early in the semester to start that bad habit.

she came across a little campus cafe on her wander, quickly recognizing it as the one that dina had frequented. she hesitated briefly, trying to peer through the glass windows in a not obvious way. it looked relatively empty, compared to the usual crowd, so ellie dragged herself inside.

the air conditioning instantly hit her warm skin, causing goosebumps on her arms. a small group had claimed a table by a window, chattering away with laptops covering the table top. ellie wasn't exactly sure what she was looking for, and the line was pretty short, not allowing her much time to think. ellie lingered in the doorway, wondering how strange it may appear if she turned on her heel and immediately exited the establishment right after entering, until she heard possibly the sweetest voice to ever hit her ears.

"have a nice day," you regarded softly, handing someone their drink with a quick smile.

you were still relatively new at the job, fumbly and awkward with the interactions. your previous job had sucked. your co-workers were mean, you were paid basically nothing, and you were left with little time to complete assignments. your final straw was getting yelled at over the phone by your manager after calling off of work with the flu.

finally gathering the courage to quit, your friend had rallied you up to work at a campus cafe alongside her. the idea of that sort of work scared you, talking to customers, making drinks, but the pay was good and the hours were flexible. you put in an application and by the end of the week, you had started the training process. it was relatively comfortable, until your friend had suddenly decided to quit and left you alone.

"sorry," she had apologized weakly. "i think i might pick up doordashing or something instead."

you pushed out a quick sigh, drumming your fingers on the counter before plastering a smile on your face, moving to greet the next customer.

ellie craned her neck, trying to see the owner of the voice above the heads of the people that stood in line. once her eyes landed upon you, ellie sucked in a breath. she moved wordlessly into the line, no plan of action in mind.

she watched, dazed, as you entered orders and nodded. when you turned around to grab something and ellie spotted the bow that you were wearing in your hair, her palms began to feel warm. she strained her ears, desperate to hear your voice again above the sound of conversation and the typical coffee shop music.

ellie didn't even notice that there was another person, some guy, also behind the counter until he switched spots with you, greeting a different customer.

fuck, ellie thought, rapidly looking around to watch where you were going. you disappeared into the back, behind a set of secretive doors. ellie's heart sank. she would be up soon, and she didn't even know what she was doing. she didn't want to talk to some random guy.

she just... wanted to talk to some... random girl?

fuck.

someone else wandered into the cafe. ellie contemplated making that person's day, wondering if she should just leave the line. of course she should, this was stupid, but then you reappeared. you were carrying a small brown box, and huffed at a strand of hair that had fallen into your face.

ellie was almost up, and she rapidly began praying to any type of higher power that would listen. please don't let it be the guy, please don't let it be the fucking guy-

"hi," you greeted automatically, restocking a small display of reward punch cards. "what can we get for-" you finally dragged your eyes upwards, freezing at the sight of ellie.

your gaze widened and you mentally cursed yourself for having a horrible poker face. the girl standing in front of you was extremely attractive, to say the very least. you felt trapped in her green-eyed gaze, hand hovering above the cards that you were previously toying with.

ellie cleared her throat, shifting awkwardly on her feet. if anyone's voice matched their appearance perfectly, it was yours. you looked doe-eyed, caught off guard, and ellie's face flushed.

you blinked at the slight cough, snapping back into customer service mode. "what can i get for you?" you asked, pointedly changing the we to i. she had freckles. the smile you offered wasn't forced, but genuine.

fuck. fuck fuck fuck. she had to actually order something, not just stand there and stare at you. it was ellie's turn to be wide eyed, as she scrambled to pinpoint something from the menu. god. she really didn't want to be that person. you had all that time waiting in line, just pick something for christ sake!

you stood awkwardly, smile wavering as you waited for a reply. at least while the cute stranger was distracted by the menu, you could use the opportunity to stare.

mentally, ellie was a mess. she had held the skill of reading for the majority of her life now, but ellie couldn't make sense of a single word that was displayed on the menu. everything blurred together and she could feel your eyes on her as she scrambled for something to say.

"uh, what do you recommend?" ellie questioned, meeting your gaze. her cheeks burned when she noticed that you had winced. ellie wasn't being cute or friendly, she was being annoying. the last thing that you probably wanted was to rattle off a list of seasonal beverages you had been asked to promote. ellie mentally cursed herself, but you were stuttering for an answer before she could take her inquiry back.

"oh! um, well there's the..." you glanced over your shoulder at the seasonal drink specials, and ellie held back a grimace. poor fucking girl, she thought.

your face burned. you were still pretty new to the job, and honestly, penny pinching. despite the few that you've snuck during your shift, you hadn't tried many of the drinks yet. you so badly wanted to have a quick answer, something to impress her with your amazing taste. instead, you faltered, taking too long to answer.

"sorry," you laughed, shaking your head sheepishly. "i'm pretty new to this," you explained, ignoring the stare that you were getting from your co-worker. please don't ask to help me, you silently pleaded. despite the awkwardness of the interaction, you didn't want it to be cut short. you wanted to know if her freckles were always that visible, or if they popped out more due to the summer sun.

"that's okay," ellie said, a little too quickly. she looked down at the nametag that you wore on your apron. your name was written neatly, in your own style with a mix of cursive and regular letters. you had drawn a little flower next to your name.

"that board has some of our summer features though," you explained, finally regaining your footing. you nodded in the direction of a display board. "they're super popular, people really like them. i've tried the lavender one actually, it's super good. uh, we unfortunately don't get the pumpkin spice stuff in for... two more weeks, i think? so... i'm sorry about that," you quietly rambled, wringing your hands.

"pumpkin spice? it's barely september," ellie commented, wrinkling her nose. her attention was drawn to your nails, painted perfectly and neat. she wondered how big of a fool she would be making herself out to be if she attempted to flirt with you.

you shrugged, grinningly bashfully. "it's good," you resigned.

noted, ellie thought. i like pumpkin spice now. ellie opened her mouth to ask about the lavender thing, but the girl behind her in line obnoxiously cleared her throat.

ellie's eyebrows raised and you glanced apologetically at the other girl, who was tapping her foot.

"i'll be right with you," you commented. the girl scoffed and ellie's lips twisted at the sound. you were so sweet, wasting one of your pretty smiles on someone who didn't deserve it.

"yeah, no big deal," the girl replied sarcastically. "it's not like i have a class to get to or anything." she looked around the room, trying to garner support for herself, but no one was paying attention.

"i'll be right with you," you reiterated with a harsher tone. ellie fully blushed, feeling guilty for delaying the interaction. now you were getting backlash and your co-worker was completely eyeing you up, and ellie felt at fault for it. you met her eyes again, apologizing with a sad smile. ellie's grip on the strap of her bag tightened.

"sorry," ellie mumbled as her cheeks burned. "i'll get, um-"

the girl in line sighed again and ellie lost her train of thought, noticing that you were holding back your frustration with a tight smile. finally, a good idea emerged in ellie's head. she knew dina's order by heart. dina was certainly a creature of habit, at least when it came to her food and drink orders. ellie had heard dina order a million times.

ellie confidently allowed dina's coffee order to roll off of her tongue. you blinked in surprise as she gave specific directions, a direct contrast to how clueless she had seemed just a moment ago.

you frantically entered the order into the system, scared of making a mistake and looking dumb. "hey," you called softly, gaining the attention of your co-worker. you recited the order to him, to which he nodded in understanding.

"what's your name?" you asked politely. you grabbed a sharpie, waiting.

ellie's heart skipped a beat and she thought maybe she would have stood a chance, until she realized that you were asking for the drink and not because you genuinely wanted to know.

except, really, you did want to know. having to ask was just a perk.

"ellie."

"ellie," you repeatedly warmly. it was the best thing that ellie had ever heard. "i like it," you mumbled, grabbing a cup from a stack.

"thank you," ellie mumbled, watching as you wrote her name on the cup. your teeth pulled at your bottom lip in concentration, determined to use your best writing. once you had gotten to the second L, you looked up.

"oh," you realized sheepishly. "you can go wait at the end," you gently instructed her. ellie could've facepalmed herself for her stupidity, but didn't want to drag herself away from your presence. ellie wanted to say something more, but failed. she did, however, feel as though she had caused you enough trouble for the day. ellie gave you an awkward smile, as genuine as she could manage, before moving to step away.

once ellie had turned away, you realized your mistake.

"oh! wait!" you called, your voice louder than it had been all day. ellie froze, wondering if she had done something wrong or maybe you wanted to ask for her number.

the girl who was supposed to be next groaned.

"i'm so sorry," you whispered once ellie's body was in front of you again. "i forgot to have you pay," you muttered your confession, humiliated as your co-worker made a tsssk sound.

ellie thought that after this, she might drop out of college and move somewhere, maybe the country. somewhere far away from civilization.

"fuck," ellie swore under her breath, quickly rummaging through her bag for her wallet. "sorry," she said. you gave her the total, eyes lingering on ellie's tattoo while she swiped her card.

"um, do you want a reward card?" you asked, your voice sounding more robotic compared to before.

ellie was ready to automatically say no, but she took in the sight of your rounded cheeks and bashful smile.

"i would love one," ellie replied, and she felt as though her body jolted when your fingers grazed hers, handing over the card.

"if you buy nine drinks, the tenth one is on us!" you chirped, clearly haven gave this spiel before.

"jesus, nine?" ellie grumbled, and to her horror, your smile dropped.

"that's a great number!" she exclaimed awkwardly, scrambling to fix her mistake.

you nodded. "have a good day," you dismissed, and ellie's stomach lurched.

as ellie made her way to the end of the counter, she heard an exasperated "finally!" before you began to mumble apologies. ellie rolled her eyes. asshole.

when her name was called and she was handed her drink, ellie froze. her name, written pretty in your handwriting, punctuated with a doodle of a smile. her pulse quicked, and ellie wondered if she had always been this pathetic or if she had just gotten soft.

before she left, she turned around to give you one last look. you saw her heading for the door, and strained your neck to look at ellie once more before she was gone. you made eye contact, and ellie almost did an awkward half wave that certainly would've kept her up at night, cringing.

you tore your eyes away from ellie, mentally cursing yourself. but god, she was cute.

ellie shook her head discouragingly, once again met with the warm breeze of the afternoon as she stepped outside. she stared down at the little smiley on her cup. ellie frowned. she didn't really like coffee, but she also didn't want to throw it away. she heaved a sigh, holding the beverage as she began her trudge to class.

the doodled smiley carried ellie on a high throughout the entire day.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

ellie had come to find out that maybe, she wasn't particularly good at rationalizing with herself.

she figured that she would have a pretty good chance at seeing you again if she were to visit the cafe on the same day of the week and at the same time that she had previously seen you. she also figured that purposefully seeking out a stranger at their place of employment was pretty damn creepy.

when ellie passed by the cafe on her newly adjusted route to class, she craned her neck each time in hopes of catching a glimpse of you through the window. unfortunately for herself, ellie hadn't been so lucky.

if she had seen you, would she go inside?

mentally, ellie told herself no, but the answer was lousy.

maybe ellie would have, but only to try that lavender whatever drink that has been advertised on the chalkboard sign outside of the cafe. the flowers decorating the board looked a lot like the one doodled on your nametag and... did you draw them? was it your handwriting in purple, swooping letters that she saw now, nearly every day?

will power strong, but her delusion even stronger, ellie did not revisit the cafe and she did not have a crush on a barista that she met only once.

it was purely coincidental that exactly a week later, ellie left early for class again. she accidentally found herself walking the path to the cafe, and since she was so early anyway, ellie found no harm in stopping inside to get a break from the early september heat.

it was practically empty inside, so ellie's gaze quickly found its way to you.

you appreciated a slow day. the campus starbucks had finally staffed up enough to open for the semester, consequently stealing a lot of the little cafe's business. your coworkers complained and groaned about the matter, but you didn't mind. you sort of preferred it like this anyway.

the door chiming drew your attention instantly, and you were quick to recognize the auburn haired girl from the previous week. the sight of her made you grin, teeth on display before you had a moment to overthink it.

ellie's eyes were on you from the moment she stepped inside, and you noticeably faltered.

you weren't smiling right, so you straightened up your posture and dropped your eyes. you didn't want to smile too much, in a way that would be strange to greet a customer that you had only once before.

you pressed your lips into a tight smile. more formal, less i'm glad to see you again. i totally wasn't keeping an eye out for you during every single shift.

there was no line to restrain ellie today, and she sort of wished that there had been. a handful of seconds felt like ages as ellie shuffled to the counter. you were fidgeting, looking at ellie and then looking away.

ellie thought that she might be able to be confident today, swift and suave and just flirty enough to let you on to the idea that she could potentially be interested.

interested in what exactly, ellie wasn't so sure. she had girlfriends before, of course, and had admittedly flirted with her fair share of girls through time. obsessing over somebody random after one encounter though, that was new.

"uh, hey," ellie coughed. off to a fucking strong start, moron.

"hi!" you chirped, wringing your hands behind the counter. if you remembered her, and acted as such, would she think it was weird? what if you pretended not to remember her, but she did remember you, and then she thought that you were rude?

the sound of your voice filled a void that had been left within ellie since the previous week. the reaction it prompted within her was so fucking ridiculous that she deemed herself to be an idiot.

ellie did not have feelings for a barista that she saw once.

well, twice now, but still. no fucking thank you.

"what can i do for you?" you questioned, customer service manners causing your voice to raise in pitch.

there's a few things that you could- ellie scrunched her eyebrows with a pained expression, tearing herself away from the disgusting thought. jesus christ, what was actually wrong with her?

your smile never wavered as you waited, but your heart was racing. why on earth was it so awkward?

c'mon, fucking pull yourself together. if it goes wrong, you never have to show your face in here again, ellie thought.

"i actually wanted to try that drink you recommended last time," ellie said smoothly.

surprise registered clearly across your face, along with one blaring thought. she remembered you!

the second thought, the always displeasing afterthought, dropped like a weight in your chest. you were pretty sure the cafe didn't have the ingredients you would need.

you smiled anyway, (she remembered you!) giddy and nervous.

"the lavender one, right?" you questioned, and ellie was so in. you remembered the interaction, which might not mean anything at all, but it was better than being forgotten.

"right," ellie confirmed, nodding once with an easy smile.

"right," you repeated, and ellie instantly noticed the uncomfortable expression on your face. shit.

“um so,” you winced as you started, really not in the mood to receive the lashings of an unhappy customer. “i believe we are actually out of the lavender, i can go check in the back just to make sure if you want…”

ellie wanted to say no, that’s totally fine, you’re beautiful and don’t even worry about it, but her mouth tended to work faster than her brain.

ideally, she wouldn’t be opposed to a moment alone to compose herself, so ellie mumbled a quick “sure, that’s fine,” and tried not to be a creep as you turned and quickly walked away, disappearing behind a set of doors into the back.

you already knew there was no possible way that you could make the drink, and you already knew that there were no extra ingredients hidden in the back. you wondered if you could stay hidden and just not go back out.

"i am so sorry," you began, voice high and apologetic as you made your way back to your standing place. "unfortunately we don't ha-"

"that's fine!" ellie squeaked, crimson patching its way onto her cheeks. ellie thought that maybe she should buy you a drink, since it seemed like she only showed up to cause extra trouble for you.

ellie pictured it so clearly in her mind, asking whatever your favorite drink was and ordering it, only to give it to you instead. was that smooth, or lame? she imagined telling jesse and dina about it later and pictured them giving her praise instead of wincing in second-hand embarrassment, so it was game on.

"is there anything else i could get you?" you questioned, tugging at your bottom lip with your teeth.

"actually-"

"hey, excuse me, can i get an ice water to go?"

ellie quickly snapped in the direction of the person who interrupted her. a guy stood near a table in which he was previously sat, packing up a laptop and notebook.

"of course!" you turned away from ellie and she would have sworn that she felt her heart burst. "what size?"

ellie watched intently, jealous as you prepared the simple water cup. why couldn't she be an easy customer like that? what the fuck was wrong with her?

"sorry about that," you muttered sheepishly. your hand hovered over the cash register, still waiting to take ellie's order.

your nails were painted the same color as last time, ellie noted, but they were starting to chip.

"it's all good," ellie breezed, and suddenly remembered that she actually had a class to get to. she recited the previous coffee order without a second thought, thanks dina, and you nodded along intently. you weren't really great at remembering faces and their orders, but something in you made you want to memorize ellie's.

ellie paid (you remembered this time, but no co-worker was around to see it) and she held back a snort when you pulled out a little pink stamp pad.

"do you have your reward card?" you questioned, leaving ellie to look dumbfounded.

"my what?"

"the reward card? buy nine drinks, the tenth is on us?"

"oh! oh, shit," ellie fumbled for her wallet, making a sound of recognition as she pulled out the card. "of course i do," ellie remarked. you swallowed a giggle.

you stamped her card with the pretty pink ink and then began to make the drink. ellie mentally cursed herself for once again ordering something that she didn't like, but it was too late now.

"here you go!" you presented. you had wrote ellie on the cup, even though you technically didn't need to since no one else was around. ellie appreciated it anyway.

"thanks," she murmured, failing to meet your gaze.

"have a good day, okay?"

"you too," ellie remarked, holding up her cup in parting.

when she was outside and the fresh air began to clear her mind, ellie forbid herself from ever going back to that cafe. it was painfully and unnecessarily awkward, especially considering that she didn't know you.

still, her heartstrings were tugged as she stared down at the drink in her hand. last time, your co-worker had actually been the one to make the drink, so ellie didn't feel any guilt about pouring it down the sink.

however, you were the one to make it today. and you were so sweet, and ellie couldn't bear to just throw it away.

ellie gulped, staring at the cup with a grimace. she took a fast, quick sip, and then coughed into her arm so she wouldn't gag.

ellie still fucking hated coffee. but she finished off the drink, just because you made it.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

the next morning, ellie was up early with a mission. a study session with dina wasn't exactly the best thing to motivate ellie to wake up early, but an excuse to see if you were working definitely was.

ellie had no clue of your schedule except for the one day of the week that she had already seen you. it might have been a long shot, but fuck it, the least she could do was get dina a coffee on her way.

campus was quiet when it was early. ellie certainly preferred it that way. it was peaceful, the way the morning light projected a certain softness onto her surroundings. she knew the cafe was open this early, ellie had googled it about seven times the night prior and twice more in the morning to be safe.

to confirm the information once more, ellie could see the glowing lights through the window. it appeared empty, and ellie couldn't even tell who the person was inside until she entered.

"hi," you said almost instantly, and your tone made it clear that you were surprised.

"hi," ellie repeated, not being able to believe her luck.

you had been wiping a table, but you placed the rag down and moved to the counter as you continued to speak.

"you're really determined to burn through that reward card, huh?"

your joke caught ellie off guard, and her feet were carrying her before she told them to. ellie didn't even feel like a person yet, how were you making jokes so early?

"i'll be getting my free drink by noon," ellie retorted.

"ambitious, i like it," you laughed.

ellie was going to have a good day.

she didn't really give a fuck about the reward card, honestly, ellie would only use it if you were around. she was prepared on the off chance that you would be working, and caught you by surprise as she slapped it on the countertop.

"so what'll it be? your usual?" you questioned, tilting your head to the side.

ellie mentally cursed herself for hitting rock bottom, because receiving basic customer service shouldn't be having that effect on her.

"yeah, actually," ellie confirmed, looking flustered as her face dusted pink.

"perfect," you murmured, fingers dancing along the order screen. shit.

"um, shit," you laughed awkwardly, face burning. "i promise i know it but also could you like, remind me?"

ellie laughed because everything about you was so endearing and also because she didn't want you to feel embarrassed.

"for sure," ellie enthused, going through the steps of the order. as you tapped the screen, ellie noted that your nails were painted a different color today.

you were a little slower at making the drink today, not that ellie minded. it was peaceful, watching you hum as you did every step so delicately. ellie felt lucky to be the only person there with you, and then hoped she wasn't weird for having the thought.

the song playing quietly through the speakers above caught ellie's attention once she had noticed that it was the one that you were humming along to. the sound of the acoustic guitar got stuck in ellie's head like a daydream, your absent minded mutters filling the spaces of silence.

"oh man, i love this song," ellie gushed.

"yeah?" you looked up with a grin, pleased by ellie's comment. "me too."

perfect girl. ellie watched as you picked up a sharpie, turning your back to her.

"what other stuff do you guys play here?" ellie questioned, craning her neck to try and see what you were drawing on her cup.

"uh," you didn't think that you had ever been this concentrated on decorating someone's cup before. "anything, mostly. we play our own playlists, like, whoever's working, you know?"

ellie nodded, even though you couldn't see her. "this is yours?"

"my playlist?" you turned back around, immediately caught in ellie's green eyed gaze. "yeah! i don't play my own stuff much though, unless i'm here alone."

"i get that," ellie murmured, watching as you once again made yourself busy.

it was quiet just for a moment, until you handed ellie her drink. your fingers touched for just a moment but your pulse quickened. you hoped you weren't making things weird, but worried that you were by the way ellie dropped her eyes after the small touch.

ellie was silent while she payed, but only because she was trying to think of something more to say.

"hey," ellie said suddenly, causing your eyebrows to raise. "you didn't stamp my card," she complained.

"oops," you said, reaching for your stamp.

"i can't believe you're trying to cheat me out of a free drink," ellie stated, feigning fake shock.

"yeah, guess you'll just have to come back more," you responded through a laugh.

your joke sobered ellie's expression. the brief change made you freeze, and you couldn't decide whether or not the joke was incorrect. oh my god, you barely knew her. then again, it could have been passed off as just a joke about getting more business.

"guess i will," ellie agreed quietly, and your breath caught in your throat. was she joking or flirting? was there something, or were you sleep deprived and crushing on an extremely attractive girl that you barely even knew?

ellie felt satisfied with herself, though was determined to leave before she could manage to fuck anything up.

"thank you," she concluded, moving towards the door.

"anytime. see you soon for that free drink, right?"

ellie scanned your features and cracked a smile. "definitely. have a good one, okay?"

"okay," you sighed and then coughed awkwardly. "have a good day!"

after ellie had left, you slid down to the floor and covered your head in your hands. what the hell were you doing?

ellie quickened her pace to get to dina's, but after one glance at her cup she stopped short.

in black sharpie, you had drawn a flower and a little bee. and then, ellie's name in cursive.

fuck.

ellie looked back towards the direction of the cafe, wondering how creepy she might come off as if she were to march back in there and ask you out.

the doodle on the cup quite literally made her heart ache, and she stood indecisively on the sidewalk.

ellie had gotten this coffee for dina to be a good friend.

ellie also could not fucking stand the idea of passing this cup off to dina and then seeing it be thrown in the trash.

"fuck," ellie muttered.

whatever, dina could use her own fucking cup.

ellie would explain, sort of. maybe.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"ellie, what the hell is wrong with you?"

dina's shoes slapped heavy against the pavement in a rushed attempt to keep up with her best friend. her hand reached for ellie's arm, a little aggressively, as ellie nearly shoulder checked some guy zooming past on a skateboard.

"huh? nothing," ellie dismissed, blinking around her surroundings as if she had never been on campus before.

"yeah? nothing? since when do you ever want to get a coffee," dina mocked the way ellie had proposed the plan earlier, earning a frustrated sigh from the auburn haired girl.

ellie shook her head, fixating her eyes on the little cafe that she was growing quite familiar (and fond) of.

"change of scenery would be nice," ellie grumbled. "come on, i'm being a good friend. you love this place."

"you're being so weird," dina muttered, stepping ahead of ellie to open the door.

the sudden chill of the air conditioning was a shock to ellie's warm skin. she tried not to look at you as she trailed in after dina.

"i'm gonna get-"

"let me," ellie interrupted, causing dina to raise an eyebrow. "how about you find us a seat and i'll order drinks, yeah?"

the environment was loud with orders and chatter, leaving little room to set up and study. ellie straightened her posture, appearing a lot more confident than she felt.

dina nodded, rolling her eyes with a grin. "i'll grab a table."

ellie waited until dina's back was turned to take a shaky breath as she pivoted to the ordering counter. there wasn't much of a line, only one person, though a gaggle of people waited off to the side for their names to be called.

you didn't notice ellie until she was in line, shifting on her feet and stealing glances that she probably assumed you wouldn't catch.

"hi," you chirped, gaining her attention.

ellie's gaze snapped upwards. she felt surprised to hear your voice, even though you were the sole reason for her even coming inside in the first place. the smile that graced your lips made her head spin, and she was suddenly all too aware that dina was probably watching her now.

"hi," ellie repeated, a little too meekly for her own liking.

"how are you?" you questioned, dropping any trace of your customer service voice.

"good now," ellie replied.

you raised a curious brow but smiled anyway, the presence of your ever growing favorite 'stranger' was exactly the type of break that you yearned for on a day like today.

there was no denying the silly way that ellie made you feel, no matter how much you argued it with yourself.

it wasn't typical of you to get butterflies while customers were ordering.

you relaxed your posture, grateful that there was a lack of impatient people lining up behind ellie. your co-worker was making drinks so you were free to chat, even just for a minute.

"what can i get for you?" you forced yourself to meet ellie's eyes, which you realized quickly was a difficult task.

looking in her eyes for too long made your head whirl. her gaze was so steady, so intentional, it honestly threw you for a loop.

when ellie began to recite the coffee order that you were expecting, you laughed a little and tapped away on the ordering screen and ellie's mouth felt dry with nerves.

"-and uh, a water. please," ellie finished, resting her hand and wallet on the counter.

"switching things up on me now?" you joked, shaking your head with a tsk. "just as i was starting to memorize it."

"gotta keep you on your toes," ellie quipped. if she leaned in closer, just a little, she could smell your perfume. "surely all your other customers don't give you enough of a hard time."

you smiled knowingly with a quick laugh, grabbing the card that ellie was now holding out to you. your fingers touched just briefly and ellie flushed instantly.

"you're totally the most difficult customer we've ever had," you deadpanned.

the humor was on ellie's caliber, and she had started it, yet your sarcastic remark instantly had her feeling guilty.

"right," ellie muttered, and she felt stupid because she knew it was a joke and you were only playing along and what did she expect, a fucking compliment?

"i'm kidding," you rushed, sliding ellie's card back to her. "you're like, the best one."

now ellie really felt like an idiot. she fumbled to return her card into her wallet and tried to ignore how warm she felt.

you smiled awkwardly and ellie wanted to believe that you were being sincere on a personal level, not just reciting some customer service bullshit. completely aware of the fact that she was overthinking it, ellie choked on a laugh. maybe she was just scarred from the trader joe's shopping experience.

"you say that to everyone," ellie recovered, her voice a lot smoother than she felt.

"oh," you disagreed, wide eyed. "pinkie promise. i like when you come in 'cause i don't have to worry about potentially being yelled at or like, verbally attacked."

ellie briefly contemplated making a stupid joke, but your twitchy smile made her heart ache and she wished that she could hang out in the cafe all day, ready to defend you from any asshole that comes in with an attitude.

"never," ellie responded, finally catching your eye. "i would never."

"i know," you replied softly, and immediately felt your face grow warm with embarrassment. why were you being so earnest? you didn't ACTUALLY know, anyway. but you wanted to trust those green eyes, so you did.

this is good, ellie thought. she wanted to say something else, maybe ask a question, but you pushed off the counter and clicked your tongue.

"i'll get you the water while you wait for your coffee," you said quickly, turning away and making yourself busy.

ellie's mouth snapped shut, her racing thoughts stopping dead in their tracks. she noticed that the bow you wore in your hair matched the color of your slouchy sweater and she had to get to know you.

pouring a water obviously didn't take as long as preparing a coffee, so ellie didn't understand why she seemed so caught off guard when you handed her the water.

"thanks..." ellie murmured. talking was usually pretty easy for ellie, considering how long she's been able to do it, so the fact that her mouth and words were drying up now had her about ready to tug at her hair in frustration.

"sorry," you smiled sheepishly. "i would totally make your coffee so you wouldn't have to wait, but i'm on register duty.. so..."

ellie noticed as you tapped your painted nails on the register and oh my fucking god, your nails matched your bow and sweater. how the fuck?

"that's okay, i don't mind waiting," ellie replied smoothly, and the words left her mouth before she could even process them. "as long as i can wait over here?"

here was referring to exactly where she was standing, at the counter with you. your cheeks burned and you nodded once, a silent reply.

"sure," you finally managed to choke out. "i don't blame you, it gets overwhelming waiting in crowds like that..."

fumbled. fumbled fumbled fumbled.

"uh, yeah."

as awkward as it was, you hoped it took a while longer for ellie's drink to be finished. she was cute, there was no sense in trying to deny yourself from acknowledging it. it's not like you were going to say anything, and if it made five minutes of your day more interesting, so what?

"don't tell me you forgot about the reward card," you teased, an easy fall back.

"never," ellie replied, but her eyes widened as she struggled to find it in her wallet. "shit."

you shook your head in disapproval. "and to think i just called you my best customer?"

"ouch," ellie mumbled. "i'll find it, i swear," ellie rushed, taking the idea of a stupid card much too seriously. she was well aware of the fact, but still. you were the one to give it to her after all.

you giggled at her strained expression and rose colored cheeks. "don't worry about it. hey, have you been to that coffee shop downtown?"

ellie's heartbeat quickened, and she wondered if you could tell based purely upon the look on her face. she was nearly ecstatic that you were genuinely talking to her, asking her something, and she wanted to deliver. it was a little deflating though. ellie didn't really love coffee shops, and she didn't want to provide you with an underwhelming answer.

"which one?" ellie inquired, loving the little smile that appeared on your lips before you answered her question.

"it's on the corner of main, on the inside it has this super cool v-"

"vinyl store?" ellie finished, beaming with excitement. "dude, i fucking love that place. i'm there like, every week."

"yeah?" you enthused, butterflies swirling your stomach. "me too! maybe we like... saw each other there before."

"i don't think so," ellie said instantly.

"i mean, you might've, maybe you just don't remember," you offered.

"i would've remembered," ellie replied seriously. she quickly wondered if her response was too cheesy, but you drew your eyes downward and tried to suppress a smile and ellie felt fine.

"fair enough," you mumbled, tracing shapes on the counter.

"so, do you collect vinyls or do you just-"

"did you forget my drink order or what?" dina joked, coming up behind ellie.

ellie shook her head, shifting awkwardly on her feet. shit.

"just waiting," ellie mumbled. she didn't know why she felt uncomfortable, maybe the idea of crushing on the barista at her friend's favorite coffee shop when she didn't even LIKE coffee but was suddenly spending all of her free minutes there, was, odd.

you recognized the girl next to ellie, dina. she came in pretty frequently.

ellie's name was called by your co-worker as her, no - dina's drink was placed on the counter.

"well, wait no longer," dina laughed, playfully shoving ellie away.

ellie glanced at you briefly before grabbing the drink, handing it off to dina with a cheesy grin.

oh.

oh.

the smile dropped from your face just as it felt as though your heart dropped into your stomach. you felt so stupid. especially considering all of the effort you had put into trying to make ellie's cups look cute, and they weren't even for ellie.

you watched as they sat down together and huffed out a sigh, startling as your co-worker tapped you on the shoulder to inform you that they were going on break.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

ellie couldn't stop thinking about you. she had avoided the cafe for a few days following your last interaction. she didn't understand why, but it made her feel guilty.

it's not like she even had a reason to feel that way. but hey, she was a loyal girl. if she decidedly had a secret crush on a barista that she barely knew, it was sacred!

the way that your demeanor had changed was stuck in ellie's head, and honestly, maybe it was making her a little too hopeful. the look on your face had to have meant something.

on the other hand, this was coming from someone who's idea of flirting was smiling while somewhat remaining eye contact.

seriously. seriously? fuck it.

ellie didn't like coffee anyway.

if she completely humiliated herself and ultimately freaked you out forever, she just wouldn't go back to the cafe! easy!

the sunlight covering campus was soft. it would be dark soon, and ellie felt exhausted after a long day of classes. she was well aware that this was definitely a long shot, but she had to try. she had been buying a lot of coffee lately.

please, please let it be worth something.

the sky was fading blue when ellie appeared upon the cafe. the sign on the door said CLOSED! but the lights were on and ellie could've fallen to her knees and screamed thank you to the universe because she could see that you were inside.

you didn't flinch when the bell on the door chimed, signaling its opening.

"we're closed," you stated without looking up, powering off a small machine.

"i know," ellie breathed, standing in the doorway.

you blinked, suddenly feeling flushed. you straightened your posture and waited, unsure what to make of the situation.

surely she wasn't secretly one of those people who were like, i don't care if you're closed, give me my damn coffee now!

you silently pleaded to the universe for that to not be the case. you already had a rough day as is.

"what do you want?" you asked, a hint of exhaustion in your tone.

everything in ellie's body wanted to backpedal. maybe she really did misread everything.

"um, i wanted to say.. uh-"

oh for fuck's sake. just say it.

"i wanted to say sorry?" ellie offered, false confidence leading her to the counter.

"sorry for what?" you questioned, wrinkling your nose.

"i don't like coffee," ellie blurted out. the absurdity made you laugh.

"that's.. okay?" you crossed your arms, raising an eyebrow at the green eyed girl.

"i've just been buying them for my friend," ellie continued, adding more emphasis than necessary to friend.

you pretended not to be delighted. "that's okay. it doesn't matter who customers buy their drinks for," you pointed out.

ellie swallowed a sigh. being referred to plainly as a customer (even though that's exactly what she was) was possibly the most devastating thing to ever happen in her life.

"i know," ellie replied, really amping it up. "i just wanted you to know. that i was buying them for a friend."

your heart was beating so quickly, you felt like a hummingbird.

"oh," you muttered, feeling stumped. "it doesn't matter what i think," you said quickly, looking at the floor.

"it does. i liked the bee. and the little flower. they were cute," ellie explained. her cheeks were completely red and yours were certainly warming up as well.

"thanks.. i thought they were cute too," you said softly, kicking your shoe at the ground.

"great. can i have your number?"

as the words left ellie she blinked heavily, startled by her own actions.

your brain turned to mush. you wanted to laugh but nothing came out so you just stared at ellie in silence.

"mine?"

ellie nodded.

"sure," you breathed, walking to pull out a pad of paper by the register. you retrieved a pen and wrote your number, followed by your name in cursive.

ellie waited in silence, holding her breath. you very easily could've just typed your number into her phone, but ellie found it incredibly endearing that you actually wrote it down instead.

"it's really nice of you to do stuff like that," you murmured, handing the paper to ellie. "buying coffee for a friend and all that."

"not entirely," ellie disagreed, forcing herself to meet your eyes.

you raised your eyebrows in question, and ellie shook her head.

"it wasn't exactly selfless."

"why?" you asked, a curious smile embellishing your features.

"i was only buying stuff so i had an excuse to come in."

you bit back a grin and leaned against the counter. "it's still nice of you to get something for someone else if you didn't like coffee... but why didn't you get like, a smoothie or tea or something?"

ellie didn't have an answer, you could tell by the look on her face and it made you laugh.

"what do you like?" you asked.

"i don't know? tea's fine. hot chocolate?"

you rolled your eyes, pointing to the menu above you that clearly had hot chocolate labeled as a menu item.

"so what? it's september." ellie wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"oh, you're one of those people," you observed, watching ellie's features contort into confusion.

"one of what people?"

"people who only drink seasonally appropriate drinks," you pointed out.

"i... guess?" ellie tried to hold a decent conversation, but she was still buzzing about getting your number and the way your perfume was the best thing that she had ever smelled.

"want me to make you something?" you questioned suddenly. "i bet that i can make you something that you'll actually like, and it won't be coffee."

ellie nodded immediately, but her words conflicted her. "aren't you closed?"

you shrugged, grinning at the girl standing opposite of you. "it's not a big deal. plus, it gets creepy at night. it'll be more fun closing up with some company."

ellie nodded once more, and she would absolutely stay for every single closing shift you ever had if you wanted her to.

you paced back and forth a bit, pulling out some supplies and flipping on some machines.

"what kind of tea do you like?" you inquired, peering over at ellie. "black? green? white? oolong?"

"the... fucking, brown kind?"

your eyebrows raised as you scanned her features, trying to determine whether or not she was joking.

ellie cracked an uneasy smile.

"do you like matcha, or do you think it tastes like grass and dirt?"

"uh-"

"right! i got it," you said decidedly, making yourself busy as ellie watched in confusion and wonder.

the tea that you made was simple, but not plain. it was earthy but not too bitter or dark, and it was a brighter flavor compared to coffee.

ellie chatted with you while you were busy, about majors and assholes on campus that drag their feet and take up entire walkways.

she was actually really easy to talk to, and funny too.

ellie was just glad that she didn't need an excuse to talk to you anymore.

"okay," you announced with bravado. "try this."

you placed the cup in front of ellie, and she hesitantly took a sip.

"it's totally fine if you hate it, there's zero pressure," you clarified.

ellie popped the lid off of the cup, smelling the tea before she took another drink. "it's actually really good," ellie enthused.

"really?" you beamed, feeling quite proud of yourself.

ellie frowned but her heart soared. it was, to ellie's taste, the perfect drink.

"really," ellie confirmed. "how much do i owe?"

you swatted her away, smiling slyly. "consider it your tenth."

ellie faked a gasp. "is that allowed?"

"for you, yeah." you thought for a moment, chewing on your bottom lip. "but will you please bring your reward card back sometime so that i can stamp it? i bought a bunch of cute stamps and i don't really get to use them 'cause no one ever-"

"absolutely," ellie replied seriously, eyes flicking over your face. this would possibly, definitely, be her best fucking semester yet. ever.

and her favorite cafe. and her favorite drink.

and her favorite barista.

ellie stayed with you while you finished closing, which was sweet.

together you made plans to go to the vinyl shop, after ellie asked if she could ever see you when you weren't on the clock.

you made ellie another tea for the road, but you spent extra time decorating the cup with frilly flowers, little animal characters, and ellie's name in your very best handwriting.

ellie would hold on to that cup, too.

[thatdeadaquarius]

I HAVE BENN HIT WITH INSPO FOR ASK MY BELOVED !2937!4;!6!5?3

So ya know how paimon has been kinda sus in sumeru right? Down right bashing their culture 🤨

I NEED blunt readers reaction of that

Like,, we love her and all but sometimes she just need to be put back in her place ',:/

In the case that she is not familiar with the our "ancient"/blunt language, she would be just DUMBSTRUCK !

Anywayysss just a thought.

LOVE YAAAAAA!

OHHHH MY FUCKING GODDD IM SO GLAD WE ALL INDIVIDUALLY GOT UP. AND SAID FUCK YOU PAIMON. EVEN THE PAIMON ENJOYERS SHOULD NOT BE SIDING W/ HER ON THIS ONE-

LIKEEE OKAY HOYO DEVS WE KNEW U GUYS WERE PIECES OF SHIT BUT RLLY?? CONVERTING PAIMON TO UR BS???

My genuine reaction when getting into Sumeru at first:

Like im so happy u sent this bc this gives me an excuse to write all my rants and comebacks for every Offensive Racist Paimon Line!

also omg, i couldnt find ANY of her rough lines abt pronoucing Sumeru names or something, like no google searches showed ANYTHING- wtf- paimon trying not to get cancelled out here in??

☆

Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (they/them only)

Planet: Language Shenanigans

Orbit: Headcanons-ish, tiny scenario

Stars: Paimon, slight mentions of traveler (aether or lumine), Tighnari, Alhaitham, Kaveh, Cyno

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: cussing, slight racism/culturally insults, Paimon-bashing & Trigger Warnings: slight racism/cultural insults

☆

Bascially if you don’t know, Paimon’s had a lot of weirdly slightly out of character/insulting lines about the names of Sumeru characters/Aranara/and has insulted Sumeru food too. 💀 And she’s never said any of that about any other country that we’ve been to before, like it’s especially weird PAIMON of all people insulting FOOD.

It’s givingggg… racism. Or at least culturally offensive.

So anyway, these are all from memory or vague impressions of what she’s said, as I can’t find the exact voicelines!

“Ararana- what?! Goodness gracious, must all these names be so great in length and difficult to pronounce!”

“Your name is probably pretty shit for them to say too, Paimon, don’t worry.”

Literally can feel the jaw drops of the Aranara that was trying to introduce themselves, and Paimon herself as she sputters,

the blonde traveler has like, completely turned around to, y’know, cough (laugh their ass off)

Oh you never let that shit slide, much to the amusement (and honestly a little respect) from all of Sumeru residents

When Paimon struggles to pronounce names, you just immediately start sounding it out reallllyyy slowly, to the point of like- taking a couple of seconds for each syllable lmao

“Don’t worry Paimon, I’ll help you out since you’re brain is too little to understand words. Alllll- TTTTTTeeeeee- nnnnaaaahhhhh- rrrrrriiiiii-” (Al-Tighnari)

Tighnari was seconds away from launching a nuclear war of a comeback before you just did this again, and he just crossed his arms and smiled happily and waited on you too lmao

it drives Paimon up the wall (up in the air?) bc u refuse to be interrupted by her or stop sounding it out until she stops talking lol

(which took about 3-4 shitty comments from her, which almost ruined peoples’ first impression of you guys, before she stopped completely thank fuck)

◇

She’d also been a little shit about the food??!!? Paimon??!!! Of all people??!?!?!?!

Which is honestly insane to you, and you genuinely thought something was wrong with her for a minute when she looked a little disgusted at the Pita Pockets

You guys had been eating with a couple of allogenes, Alhaitham, Kaveh, (who took some time off to hang out) Tighnari (who was visiting for the day), and Cyno, (who’d also made some time off to hang out with you)

Tighnari just continues to eat his food, and barely twitches an ear at Paimon’s comments, he already knows what’s coming lol

Kaveh starts to get a little red in the face, and Alhaitham and Cyno don’t change expression at all, simply watching

Right as Kaveh begins to say, “Listen here-!!!”

You just interrupt quickly, snatching Paimon’s plate from in front of her and dumping it on yours,

“Paimon if you ever make another disrespectful little comment about the food or anyone’s names or any other shit about Sumeru, I will clap you so fucking hard out the sky you’ll be crawling through Sumeru City trying to keep up with us. Shut up.”

And just drop the empty plate back in front of her, and continue to eat, best not to give her too much attention actually, in case thats all she wants

The traveler was just like 😭😭

doing that thing where you LOUDLY sip the last of your drink in the silence LMAO

Alhaitham just like, turns away to laugh into his fist, Kaveh’s still in literal shock, mouth open and everything 😭 that was the fastest comeback he’s ever heard, yknow obviously, so he’s like- still processing-

Cyno just smiles a little and his eyes are nearly sparkling as he watches you lol

◇

It’s a unanimous thought that nearly every allogene who hears your speech, especially the Sumeru ones who’ve heard you sass Paimon already,

want to watch you just destroy someone verbally so they can hear more of how you’d say it/how clean a cut simple speech can be, just downright violating the opponents lmao

(and never wanting it turned on them)

☆

Sorry this was short!

but i fucking love your idea sm, ALSO JUST BC ITS A SHORT REPLY DOESNT MEAN THAT THIS WASNT A STELLAR IDEA AND U BEST BELIEVE THIS HAPPENS IN THE ONE SHOT LMAO

it was such sweet revenge on Paimon to write this, and have actual consequences rather than just 😭 having to STEWWWW in anger while she made all these comments while playing 😭😭

tbh i was worried it was giving “white savior” energy so i hope it doesn’t-

lmk if that did happen! :/

☆

and thank u guys for being so patient with ur asks and patient with me answering them!

:]

☆

Safe Travels 0rah,

💀♒

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche

[bcyhoods]

LOVEFOOL 💌 — “you feel like home to me” with tasm!peter PUH-LEASE I ALREADY KNOW IM GONNA GET EMOTIONAL

muah ha ha. angsty spidey is my favorite spidey, how did you know | 0.9k

warnings: injuries, brief mention of reader being used as leverage but no explicit/graphic detail

“I don’t know if I can do this, Peter.”

Your hand hovers over the scrape on his cheek when your gaze drops to the mask that’s clenched in his hand. He sits on the edge of your bed, looking up at you as you stand in between his legs.

He’s bathed in the dull, orange glow of your lamp. It highlights every welt, every cut, every matted strand of hair that sticks to the damp skin of his forehead. It makes your eyes sting.

“What do you mean? You’re a natural,” he says. His hand settles on your hip to give it a gentle squeeze. The gesture makes you believe for a second that he’s genuinely clueless.

But his eyes refuse to meet yours. The smile that he wears is uneasy as he wrings his mask.

“You know that’s not what I mean.”

He hangs his head low. Guilt tightens its grip on his throat making it hard to breathe.

You were already well aware of his secret identity before you’d started dating. He warned you of the risks and used them to try scaring you away before you could break his heart. But you stayed. You stayed and, god, he was so glad you did.

Though, he blames his adoration for what happened to you.

He would keep a close eye on you to make sure you were safe. His routine neighborhood watch would consist of making sure you got to and from work safely, occasionally dropping by on your lunch breaks to check on you. He was careless, but he didn’t anticipate things would go south so quickly.

The guy wasn’t a super villain, nor was he anything special by any means, but he was observant. And why would Spiderman be visiting some random bodega cashier so often unless you meant something to him?

It was practically over as quick as it started. The guy couldn’t even finish demanding his ransom before Peter had arrived to web him to the ceiling. You escaped with a few injuries, the worst being a palm-shaped bruise on your wrist. But Peter was fuming.

You were used as bait. You were leverage against Spiderman because he’d been so reckless. You got hurt because of him. You were lucky this time, but there was no telling if that luck would run out and the thought terrified him. Despite your gentle words of reassurance, he had made up his mind.

He would never forgive himself if he lost you. So he broke it off.

“I know.”

It would’ve been easier if you didn’t see each other after that. You think you’d feel differently if you weren’t frequently in his presence, nursing him back to health. Maybe if you didn’t exchange longing gazes and soft touches that were reserved for people that are more than friends. If he didn’t look at you like you held his heart in your hands, maybe you’d be stronger.

“Why do you keep coming back here?” He feels his chest tighten at the crack in your voice, even more so when you push his hand away.

“You leave your window open,” he whispers.

A scoff falls from your lips and you turn your back to him to wipe away the rogue tears that run down your face. He stares at your figure with a frown and hands that ache to reach out for you.

Peter Parker then decides he doesn’t want to be a hero. Heroes can’t afford to be selfish and put their own happiness above the wellbeing of others. Being with you would jeopardize your safety. It’d be selfish of him. He could never be with you like he wanted, craved, so long as he wore that suit. Can’t he have both?

He’s exhibited enough altruism to last him a lifetime, anyway. Certainly it was enough to hold you just for one night.

“I just needed to see you,�� he sighs, voice meek.

“Peter, I think you should—”

“There’s never a day that I don’t think about you,” he interjects. He doesn’t exactly know when he started to cry. Suddenly his eyesight was blurry and he couldn’t breathe through his nose.

“Please.” The word pushes out like a sob. Your hand shoots to clamp over your mouth to hush the whimpers, but he can hear them.

“I’m serious, I…” He stands and moves to put his hands on your shoulders. His mask is forgotten on the floor. “Being away from you, it makes me feel crazy. Like I can’t breathe.”

“Don’t say that.” You turn in his hold to shrug his hands off, but you don’t try too hard. A sob racks through your chest once more when you see his pained expression. His nose is red and his cheeks are wet and his brows are sewed together. “Don’t tell me that, just go home,” you plead.

“You feel like home to me!” There’s a humorless laugh that accompanies the confession, it’s one of frustration. But the softness in his glassy eyes is unmistakable and it makes you melt under his stare.

“Please don’t cry,” he begs with a deep frown. He reaches to hold your face in his hands as he wipes the tears from under your eyes. The material of his gloves is rough and pulls at your skin uncomfortably, but you can’t help leaning into his touch.

He crowds your being. He towers over you so closely that you can feel his bated breath fanning your skin. You reach to hold onto his forearms, letting your eyes close to revel in the closeness. Peter presses a chaste kiss to your forehead, then to each of your cheeks, then your nose. He stops short of your lips.

“Say the word and I’ll leave. You know I will.”

“Don’t go,” you concede.

You’re not really sure what repercussions this will have tomorrow morning. You can’t really bring yourself to care when he kisses you.

[dontexpectmuch]

part 4 - [Lost in Madrid]

-

author note; btw for those who dont know me. im a whore for angsty fics w no happy ending 🤭 just for ur information hehehehe,, hope you enjoy this part, mwah mwah

- did not proofread!

series.masterlist

-

shit, you should have gone to the toilet one last time before leaving, your nerves messing with your stomach in an uncomfortable way. your hands feel clammy, getting warmer the longer you hold the bouquet of flowers.

you don’t even know why you feel so nervous, it’s not like you’re meeting a friends [yuck] parent for the first time. you try to reason with it by telling yourself that you simply do not want to be annoyed by judes presence in front of his mother [yeah sure], you actually want to meet her.

taking one last breath, trying to stay calm, you knock on the door and put on your best smile you could muster, not wanting to come off as rude.

you hear plates cling and metallic utensils fall down, before the door is opened abruptly by none other than jude himself. he looks out of breath, chest heaving up and down, you note, but he also looks good [too good, yes you admit].

black baggy pants, an oversized grey shirt and a necklace in the middle of his chest on top of it, his face adoring a smile.

“already in love with me?” he greets you, smirking as he leans against the door frame.

you roll your eyes, turning around to just leave. you can’t even take one step as you feel judes hand closing around your upper arm, [unfortunately] halting you movements.

he laughs, pulling you inside and telling you where to put your shoes, “mum’s been cooking all day.” he tells you, making you follow him to the kitchen.

your eyes look around, the apartment is beautiful, you think, nice view over the city from the living room, high ceilings and a homey feeling greeting you as you step into the living room slash kitchen area, the smell of fresh food finding its way to your nose.

denise calls your name as she sees you walk in, drying her hands on her apron to invite you to a hug which you gladly accept.

“these are for you.” you take a step back to get the flowers from judes hands, handing them to his mother who smiles at you widely.

“you didn’t have to, honey!” she lifts them up to her nose, smelling them. “they are wonderful, thank you.”

“just as wonderful as you are, denise.” you genuinely say back, watching her chuckle as she moves back to the kitchen to find a vase.

“just as wonderful as you are.” jude mocks you, his face near your ear to keep it between you guys.

without looking at him, you hit his chest [should’ve been his face], making him choke on his spit.

he coughs roughly, hand on your shoulder to stabilize himself, “dude, that’s mean!”

“you’re mean!” you draw your eyebrows together and decide to move to the kitchen to see if you could help.

however it seems like denise already prepared everything for dinner, the only thing left is to sit down and enjoy it together, which you do.

the room is filled with laughter and conversations about various topics, creating a warm atmosphere. even though you haven’t noticed it so far, the feeling of eating together as a family is truly one thing that you have missed since you’ve been in madrid, filling your heart with a sense of peace. you wouldn’t tell jude about [he would never live that down], but you are quite thankful for meeting him, him granting you this opportunity of feeling familiarity in a foreign country.

“how long until you finish university?” denise asks, taking a sip of her drink.

you swallow your food, “well, after my internship it might take around eight weeks to get the results.” you hum, organizing your thoughts, “afterwards everything goes pretty fast, i would have to hold a presentation, explain and defend my results and own theories. after that i will hopefully graduate.”

her eyes widen, “that’s a lot, no?”

jude speaks up as well, body leaning back against his chair, “that takes so long, no wonder you’ve become a grandma-“

he suddenly yells, almost jumping out of his seat, “ow! guys no need to attack me from both sides!”

“deserved.” you roll your eyes, sweetly smiling at denise who returns the gesture, asking you if you would like to eat some more food.

“yes, please! everything tastes amazing, denise. thank you so much.” you hand her your plate, watching her get up to move to the kitchen.

“my legs hurt.” jude whines from beside you, making you scoff.

“shouldn’t have been so rude, then.”

“how am i supposed to know that i would get attacked from both sides! my legs are very important, y’know!” his voice gets louder, body leaning towards you.

denise comes back, hand your plate back to, “doesn’t mean that you can say rubbish to our guest.” she comes to your aid, smiling at you.

“wow, you two really work against me, eh?”

“yes.” denise and you say at the same time, focusing on the food in front of you.

judes whining is heard every now and then throughout the dinner, however the two of you decide to ignore him and focus on your pleasant conversation. you help her with the dishes afterwards, while jude takes out the trash. [obviously complaining about how he always has to do the hatd work, you continue to ignore him.]

“i heard that you live close-by.” denise continues your conversation as you sit down on the couch in the living room, half empty cup of tea in your hand.

you nod, [wishing wouldn’t have to] “jude told me that you guys live down the street after we met at the grocery store.”

“best thing to ever happen to you.” you hear judes [attra-, annoying!] voice from behind you, his hands now resting on the couchs back behind you.

“mh, sure.”

denise laughs at you two, getting up to put her cup back. you follow suit, also getting ready to leave as you have seen that it has been already two hours since you came. you hug denise, thanking her for the food and kind hospitality, and also telling her to visit you sometime.

jude walks to the front door with you, watching you put on your shoes, “why are you leaving already?”

you pause, looking up, “eh, it’s getting late?”

you finish putting on your shoes, grab your bag and move to open the door. jude does the same, your hands now meeting on the doorknob, making you pause your actions. you quickly pull back, clearing your throat as you watch him open the door for you.

“want me to walk you home?” his voice is low, making the hair on your neck stand up. [because it’s annoying, nothing more.]

you shake your head, stepping outside, “‘m meeting a friend.”

“this late?” he crosses his arms in front of his chest, once again leaning against the doorframe.

frowning, you stem your hands on your hips, “pardon? who are you again?”

“your bestest best friend?” jude copies your attitude, smirking as he sees your eyes roll.

“‘m going.” your start to walk away, putting an end to this [ridiculous] conversation.

“text me when you’re home! and don’t stay out for too long!” he calls after you.

“yes, mom!” you call back, not bothering to turn around to look at his [handso-, no, stupid] face.

-

“but what is so wrong of being friends with him?” amanda asks, setting her glass of wine down.

music is heard through the box that was standing on the coffee table, filling the room quietly. the moon shines through the windows, amandas chain led-lights dimmed down, a comfortable vibe hovering within the room.

you sigh, leaning your head back with your eyes closed. fuck, you don’t even know why you’re so against it.

“i just,” you try to gather your thoughts, taking a sip from the glass, “i won’t be here for long, y’know? i don’t want to bond with someone like that only to never see them ever again.”

amanda chuckles, patting your knee softly, “mija, why wouldn’t you guys see each other again? that doesn’t make sense.”

“it does!” you try to defend yourself, sitting up, “i have to focus on my studies, afterwards get a job. i won’t be able to meet him in madrid whenever i miss him.”

“so you admit that you like him?” she teases you, nudging your foot with hers.

you groan, [sadly] admitting that you actually grew to enjoy his presence in the past month.

“i mean, he is annoying, loud, rude and calls me grandma, pushes me away to cheat when we race, throws his sweaty towel at me, and water too, and he-“

amanda cuts you off, telling you to get to the point.

“he, i don’t even know, he is actually fun to be around. being friends with him, getting used to his presence isn’t hard, it almost came naturally.” you explain, pulling your knees to your chest to rest your chin on them.

“but why be so upset about something that hasn’t happened yet?” amanda asks, sipping on her wine. her eyes are on you, and even though it’s the rooms lights are dimmed, you can still see the warmth seep through them, a sense of comfort washing over you.

“but it will happen, ‘manda.” you know that you are being unnecessarily pessimistic, but you can’t help it. “i don’t want to get attached only for it to break my heart into pieces.”

she sighs, “what will you do then?”

you shrug, not so sure yourself. you could create a certain distance between you and him, trying to lose some attachment that you [unfortunately, you would never tell him] have. but that wouldn’t be fair to jude, either. he didn’t to anything wrong. how would you explain that to him?

‘hey, i actually quite like being around you and being friends with you, but i don’t want to get used to you because i know that it will break my heart, yeah, so, bye!’? you scoff at this thought, head starting to hurt as you try to come up with different explanations.

amada gets up to go to the bathroom, hand on your shoulder as a sign of comfort as she passes by.

now that you are alone, you put your forehead against your knees, deeply exhaling. the music in the background helps as a distraction from your thoughts, though this sound of it gets interrupted by your phone. a new notification. you don’t bother to check who it is - your heart starts to beat fast as you think of someone who it might be. but you don’t lift your head, wanting to be left alone during your [pitiful] situation.

you have never had this problem before. you loved to meet people whenever you travel, creating memories with them and cherishing those whenever you think about it. this situation, everything about jude is just weird, you don’t know [or do you?] why he is such a big concern of yours, as if you actually are the moon, turning i orbits around its sun, in this case, jude. you should be friends with him, enjoy the time the two of you have left and then leave madrid, letting him be a new, nice memory.

“still thinking ’bout it?” amandas voice pulls you out of your thoughts, eyes now focusing on her.

you nod, sighing. it seems like it is the only thing left to do for you, sighing and hopelessly waiting around, though you are not sure for what exactly.

“do you like him?” she asks, filling her glass with some more wine before taking a sip.

“well, yeah. i think we’re friends.” you reply, feeling weird [like betraying yourself] when actually admitting that you think of jude as a friend.

she laughs, shaking her head, “no, no, i meant like, do you like like him?”

“no!” you tell her [yeah sure], quite offended that she would think that you would fall for someone like jude [you would].

“then why are you so sad about it?”

“don’t know, don’t wanna talk about it, please.” you lay down on the couch, looking up the ceiling.

your phone rings again, this time thrice in a row. you sigh while rolling your eyes, lazily lifting it up to look at who has been bothering you for the last few minutes.

NEW NOTIFICATION

[from; Jude Bellingham]: four new messages.

you immediately sit up, eyes wide. fuck, why is he texting you right now? you don’t have the nerve to talk to him right now [you always do].

“is it him?” amanda asks, looking up from her won phones display, smirking.

“yeah.” you mumble, unsure of what to do. you shouldn’t let him wait, should you? that’s not very nice, maybe it’s an emergency?

amanda speaks up again, “well, answer him, chica! why the hesitation?”

“don’t know.” you shrug, laying down again.

you hear amanda sigh, but she doesn’t comment on anything anymore, seemingly giving up on the situation. you take a deep breath while unlocking your phone, heart beating against your chest.

[from; Jude Bellingham]: r u home yet?

[from; Jude Bellingham]: dk what u did but mum still talks abt u

[from; Jude Bellingham]: u ok?? wya?

[from; Jude Bellingham]: txt me when ur home

putting your phone back down, you sigh, head between your hands. you don’t understand why his texts make you feel so, how should you describe it, anxious? he doesn’t do anything wrong, he is just trying to be a good friend, you should appreciate it instead of panicking.

groaning, you get up, taking your now empty glass to put it into the dishwasher in amandas kitchen.

“you leavin’?” amanda asks you, still seated on the couch, her head turned towards you.

you nod, tiredly rubbing your eyes as you walk back to kiss her cheek as a goodbye, “thank you for today.”

she smiles, her hand resting in your cheek in a comforting manner, “text me when you’re home, ‘kay?”

“‘kay.”

you put on your shoes, tell her goodbye one last tome before leaving her home, the soft breeze of the night welcoming you. it isn’t cold, you don’t have to wear a jacket, but somehow you can’t help but cross your arms as you begin to walk home. the night is still young, you hear people shouting and talking amongst themselves down the street, music accompanying their conversations.

the walk back doesn’t take long, you arrive just about fifteen minutes later as you open the door to the building, sighing as you see the stairs in front of you.

-

[to; Jude Bellingham]: just arrived home

[to; Jude Bellingham]: what can i say, moms like me :)

you lay down in your bed, night routine done and ready to sleep. you try to concentrate on your breathing, laying still on your back as a contrast to the chaos going on in your head, not letting you rest properly.

“tsk,” you try to lay on your left side, back now facing your phone on the nightstand, “stupid stuff.”

as soon as you hear your phone vibrate you immediately turn around, the brightness of your display hurting your eyes.

[from; Jude Bellingham]: cool cool

you move to type an answer, though a new message from him comes in,

[from; Jude Bellingham]: were u w dk what his name was?

rolling your eyes, you can’t help but smile at his [cu-, stupid] text.

[to; Jude Bellingham]: his name is lorenzo

[from; Jude Bellingham]: basic ass name

[to; Jude Bellingham]: no i was at amandas

[from; Jude Bellingham]: shouldn’t u be at sleep rn? grandmas should go to bed early

oh you can practically hear jude giggling at his own text, him finding joy in reminding you that you are older than him. you catch yourself stupidly smiling at his text and clear your throat, sitting up properly before texting back.

[to; Jude Bellingham]: was abt to but u texted me

[from; Jude Bellingham]: okok sry

[from; Jude Bellingham]: good night

[from; Jude Bellingham]: sweet dreams (of me)

[to; Jude Bellingham]: id rather choke

[to; Jude Bellingham]: good night :)

fuck.

———————————————————

“guys, please don’t forget to finish writing your team report for next week, ask for help if you need to, please.” you remind your students as they walk out of the room, smiling your way as they tell you goodbye.

you turn around to pack your own things, a knock on the door catching your attention.

“hola, señorita.” lorenzo greets you, smile wide and cheeks rosy, probably from the heat outside.

he walks up to you, kissing your cheek as a greeting before leaning against your desk, watching you as you continue to pack your bag.

“how can i help you, señor?” you say, happy to see your friend.

it has been a while since you last saw him, getting caught up in work and writing your thesis, and well, other people.

“are we walking home today?” he asks, tilting his head to the side, his eyes staring at yours.

“you see-“

“ah! there you are!” judes voice appears by the door, cutting you off.

you roll your eyes, trying to fight of a smile. he always greets you loudly when he picks you up to walk to the open field together, comfortable banter hovering between you two on tour walk there.

“i have a practical session afterwards, sorry.” you point towards jude, who is still standing by the door, eyes focusing on the guy next to you.

poor lorenzo, you think, he didn’t do anything wrong, yet jude always finds way to hate on him, comparing the two of them. [he somehow is always the better one]

“i see.” lorenzo looks at jude, then he turns back to you, kissing you on the cheek as a goodbye before leaving the room.

jude walks inside, rolling his eyes as he points at the direction lorenzo went, “what is his problem?”

your eyebrows pull together, “eh, nothing?”

you sling your bag on your shoulder, walking out of the room with jude following you, “think you gonna score today?”

jude laughs, scratching his cheek, “i will, if you stop directing your negativity towards me.”

offended, you look up at him, walking through the tunnel that leads to the field, “what’s that supposed to mean? i don’t even have the time to look at you.” [that’s a lie, you catch yourself following him around the field more than you’d like to admit]

“you should, though, i am very exciting to watch.” jude blinks - in his case winks - down at you, putting his bag down next to your seat.

you hum, not wanting to ket him now that he’s right, taking a seat on the bench as you pull out your writing block and pencil from your bag.

señor lagarde yells at jude from the field, telling him to get moving. jude shouts out that he is coming and gets moving, hitting your foot with his one last time as he leaves.

-

the suns heat makes you feel dizzy, and you wish that you would have taken your water bottle with you, instead of relying on the water bottles at the center. your shoes feel tight, your dress makes you want to throw yourself off a bridge and your hair isn’t looking as good as you wish it did.

“we should definitely cook together like, at least once.” jude throws in as the two of you walk past a restaurant.

you don’t register what jude says, “yeah, sure.”

“wait, really?” his voice sounds surprised at your agreement, and suddenly you feel awake, the feeling of having said something that you might regret sinking in.

“uh, wait, what did you say?”

“nah,” jude shakes his head, mischievously smiling at you, “can’t take it back now.”

“jude,” you whine, hating yourself for giving him such power, “c’mon dude, i’m tired.”

“don’t care.”

you come to a halt in front of the apartment building, getting ready to say goodbye to him, but he speaks up again, sounding too excited for your liking.

“let’s do it now, i’m ready.”

fuck, did you actually agree to sleep with him? is this why he won’t tell you?

nervously, you back off, “listen jude, i didn’t mean it, i mean yeah, you’re nice, but i really don’t want to-“

“c’mon, cooking together is actually really cool, i’m not that bad, ask mum.”

you feel relief wash over you, like a ton has been lifted up from your shoulders. suddenly, the grass looks greener, the birds chirp sweeter, the sky looks cleaner, today is such a nice day, you note, everything is just amazing-

“hello?” jude flicks your forehead, pulling you out of your daydreams as you cover your forehead with your hand, offended by his actions.

“dude!”

“let’s go, c’mon!” he tells you once more. you decide to give him, otherwise he won’t stop annoying you.

you open the door and the two of you walk up, jude tries to make you trip once, you alap the back of his head, but you safely arrive at your apartment door. opening it, you take of your shoes, you move to the kitchen while jude goes to the bathroom. looking through your fridge, you take out a few ingredients to cook some pasta with vegetables, simple but tasty.

you wait for jude to come back before you also go to the bathroom to freshen up, then you quickly get changed into something more comfortable.

“where’s your-“ jude walks into your room as you are in the middle of putting on your shirt, stopping mid sentence. “oh, fuck.” he shuts the door fast, an awkward apology leaving his mouth.

quickly putting on the shirt and taking a deep breath, you walk out the room to find jude awkwardly standing next to your door, his hands placed in front of him.

“‘m genuinely sorry, dude, like, i should have knocked.” he apologizes once more, his behavior making you smile. [because he looks stupid, not cute.]

“it’s fine, nothing to worry about.” you try to lift the mood by bumping your hips against his, winning a smile.

you walk back to the kitchen and start to give him the instructions to prepare the vegetables, yourself focusing on the sauce and the pasta.

it is like athletes getting in ‘the zone’, jude and you entirely focusing on your tasks at hand. you wanted to put on some music, but somehow the thought falls short, now the sound of you two working and moving around the kitchen filling the room. it’s nice, you don’t have the need to fill in the silence with small talk, since it doesn’t make you feel awkward. you hear jude hum the melody of a song and decide to listen to that, though it sounds rough.

“this big enough?” judes voice us soft, he moves next to you to show you the size of the tomato he cut, his body’s heat closing around you, relaxing at his closeness.

“yeah, just make sure that it doesn’t get too small.” you tell him, still stirring the sauce.

“yes, chef.” he salutes, continuing to cut up the vegetables.

everything goes on really well, the pasta looks great, the sauce tastes good and the vegetables are done. you plate the food and ask jude to take them to the table, which he does. as he comes back to put a dirty knife into the sink, you feel his big hand on the small of your back.

only when he moves back to the table you let out the breath you didn’t know you were holding, your heart threatening to jump out of your chest.

without further ado, you sit down around the table, “buen provecho.”

“you too.” jude immediately puts some of it into his mouth, groaning [literally moaning] at its taste.

though you agree with him that it tastes good, you don’t moan, but laugh at jude for shoving the food in to his mouth.

“the food won’t run away, y’know.” your teasing makes him look up from his plate, like a deer caught in the middle of the road.

“it’s so good.” his cheeks are full of food, however his sentence comes out clear.

a laugh escapes from your lips, somehow this entire situation is just funny to you. if someone would’ve told you two months ago that you would cook and eat dinner with jude bellingham during your internship, you’d pay their therapy from your own money. but now, look after you. here you are, eating some delicious pasta, the sun setting in the background and jude calling your name over and over again because you won’t listen to him. [you leaned how to ignore him]

“yes, jude?” you decide to answer him, his voice starting to irritate your ears.

“what are we gonna eat first dessert?”

“you leaving will be my dessert.” you sarcastically smile at him.

jude slumps back against his chair, exaggerated sigh leaving his mouth, “you were supposed to say ‘you’”

“tsk, you? where are you a dessert?” you can already feel your eye start to twitch, knowing that he will annoy you until you do as he says.

clapping his hands once, jude laughs, leaning forward, “people on the internet have other opinions, though.”

“great.”

you get up to clean your plate, not bothering to continue this [stupid] conversation.

jude appears next to you as you rinse your glass, plate at hand, “soo, ice cream?”

-

“don’t you miss your family?” judes side profile is highlighted by the moonshine, the many stars in his eyes now present in the deep blue sky.

though it is still warm outside, you have a thin blanket draped over your shoulders, ice cream bowl sits empty on the little table between jude and yourself.

“don’t you miss leaving me alone.” you respond, bith of you aware that you don’t actually mean it. [you do, you’re really tired and want to sleep].

“answer me, jalapeño.”

you scoff, turning your head to look at him, “that’s a stupid name.”

he turns to look at you as well, sleepy smile on his lips, “suits you, though.”

“no.”

“answer my question.”

you take a second to think, “well, yeah, i guess.”

“you guess?” judes eyes follow you as you get up to lean against the rail on the small balcony, eyes looking down at the street.

you hear him get up as well, his body now next to yours, its heat slowly coming your way. you have to fight the urge to lean against him, not wanting to cross any boundaries.

“i do, i really miss my mum and my nephew,” you begin, the thought of your two year old nephew making you smile, “but i also love it here. i think i’ll even sadder to leave madrid than i was when i left home.”

jude hums in understanding, softly bumping his body against yours, “it’s because of me, right? i’m just so amazing, i’d miss me too.”

“tsk, yeah sure.” [it’s a lie]

the sound of a car passing by fills the silence between you, and you feel judes body slowly lean against yours, staying there. you don’t bother telling him to move away [you don’t want to], your body starts to tingle, warmth spreading through it. even though the night is calm, your mind is anything but that, different scenarios passing through your mind as you try to concentrate on anything but judes body. you feel his finger touching yours, slowly moving up your arm. you feel the hair on your neck stand up, heart rate picking up and each breath like its fueling the fire inside of you. you know he feels it, too, his finger is shaking as it moves up to your back, hand now caressing your neck.

you turn to look at jude, he does the same, it feels oh so slow as you two near each other, his eyes moving from your eyes down to your lips and back up, you feel it down to your feet, the tingling now numbing all of your senses. jude leans down, your faces now centimeters apart as he closes his eyes. you tilt your head to the side, feeling his breath on your skin as you also close your eyes.

the moon slowly disappears between you two, and you move to close the gap until -

[vamp4kaulitz]

can you do a jealousy smut with tom x reader?? smut to fluff pls?

JEALOUSY SEX W TOM

OMG OMG OMG MY FIRST REQUEST I LOVE YOU WHOEVER THIS IS!!

YOU ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE!! And idk what kinks you wanted in here so I really didn’t put none but degrading and praising! No pacific pronouns can be seen as any gender!!

THIRD PERSONS POV

“Mm..so fucking tight..” Tom moaned as he abused Y/N’s hole. Tom gripped the sides of Y/N’s waist while Y/N gripped his arms. “S-Slow down..!” Y/N slurred as tom thrusted even faster. “Mmm..” Tom groaned while throwing his head back. Tom leaned down and gave Y/N a heated kiss, their body connecting. “It’s too much—“ Y/N cried. “It’s too much hm? You should take it, did you not remember how you made me purposely jealous earlier?” Tom smiled lazily as lust filled his eyes.

“M sorry! Tom..!” Y/N moaned as started to get louder with each thrust. “I just don’t see why your so jealous.” Y/N teased while smiling. “Oh really? Hm, that idiot was touching all over you and did you see the way he looked at y-you?” Tom’s voice cracked as you tightened around him. ��Such a tight hole, only made for me..” Tom said as Y/N whined. “I’m gonna cum— oh my god, Tom!” Y/N whimpered while Tom went faster. “Cum for me baby, come on, you know no one will make you cum like I do!” Y/N came and Tom pulled out and came all over Y/N’s stomach.

“Are you alright meine liebe?” Tom asked and Y/N nodded. “Did I go too far?” Tom asked worriedly. Y/N didnt and only shook their head. “Words baby, I need words.” Tom said. “I’m fine, Tommy. And you didn’t go too far, it felt great.” Y/N replied and smiled and Tom smiled also. Tom got up and grabbed Y/N and walked to the bathroom.

“Im gonna clean you up now, I don’t want my baby to be all dirty.” Tom chuckled and sat you on the toilet while he turned on the bathtub. Tom picked you back up and put you in the tub and got some bubbles. “You know you don’t have to carry me, I can walk.” I giggled and then Tom poured the bubbles in the bath. “I know, but since my liebe did such a good job I just had to reward you.” Tom said as he kissed your forehead. He got in the tub with you and slowly washed the both of y’all.

Omg sorry if this was short 😭 smut is kinda awkward ngl but yk..and thank you so much for a request im sorry it took longer than expected! thank you for requesting im genuinely happy😭 also TYSM for the likes on my recent posts and 50 followers!! I love you guys<333

Rules for requests⬇️

[homarcide-aest]

I'm SO here for your Balkan Dick Grayson takes! I was wondering how you feel about how DC writes or fleshes out Dick's Roma heritage. Are there particularly great moments of representation or particularly flop ones?

*starts shaking*

i honestly hate most of the writing. not only because they arent romani, i mean you can get some basic info about rom culture if you talk to romano people and i understand its a pretty closed culture (like fuck even though im part romani i still dont know most shit, although tbf rom people in turkey is p assimilated) so getting info might be hard, but FUCK dude they look at rom culture in an american pov and its like?????? why.

most rom people resides in balkans, and like bro even if you took some balkani culture to dickies writing or even in is living space itd make sense, since again, rom culture is p assimilated w the country they resides in. like even small things would be enough. a heavy velvety blanket w a tiger or a rose?? him sniffing bottles before drinking??? thats like the universel balkanian experience.

and weirdly enough i prefer the old stuff. like yes they were racist dont get me wrong but at least i was likr "aaah they are talking about it and dick is getting angry about the assumptions" aka that one god awful panel where bruce is like "ye ur kind is hot headed lmao" and dick is like "wtf" (i explain things great i know)

but now??? its used in an awful one-liner. and never referenced again. like what the actual fuck does "beautiful romani smile" means. thats. thats worse???????? thats so much worse than hotheaded cuz its used like "haha guys look i remembered dick is romani haha i know romani culture" and im like no????? shut the fuck up????

at least when people say rom people are hot headed i can be like "ye lmao we do start fights out of nowhere" and again ITS UNIVERSEL BALKAN EXPERIENCE. all balkanians have anger issues. we love chaos. but when its like "haha dick has a beautiful romani smile" im like "oh fuck off" cuz again, its such a narrow minded look at romani people.

i was gonna end it there but fuck it im not done.

rom people are stereotyped as "happy go lucky, have no worries even though the world burning, cant do shit unless a white person is guiding them, hot headed and potty mouthed". besides the last point this is the exact character assasination dickie got. they turned him into a romani stereotype because haha one trick pony robin. he used to be so much more but noo the writers cant actually handle a complex character so lets turn him into this rom stereotype, and say hes romani with a fetishizing ass line!!! i hate dc so much

sorry for long rant lmao im just. genuinely angry at this lmao

anw dick is balkanian now. i can handle mischaracterization of dickie but i will not handle americanization and frenchification of dickie

[stormyoceans]

omg I was the AU genre anon and yes this is perfect!! I love this ideas so much! Esp the paranormal one bc the potential for shenanigans is sooo good. A Bridgerton type period piece is also amazing, like instead of following siblings you follow the core 5 w the classic period tropes of marriage of convenience, trying to matchmake your friend but falling for them instead, etc. These guys are so fun to put into Situations

OH IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKED MY GENRE AUs ANON!!!!!!!!

i didn't go too in depth about the period piece one because my answer was already getting too long and i also felt like it was a bit too close to the actual series to be interesting but the truth is that im soooo embarrassingly into it!!!!!!! in a very i wish i could write so i could turn this into a 100k long fic kind of into it ;;;;;;;;

and it really would be a sort of pride and prejudice meets bridgerton kind of story like im sorry but phumpeem and qtoey are so darcyelizabeth and bingleyjane coded!!!!!!! just imagine.. phum buys some land where peem and the others live and shows up in town with fang and toey. at the next ball everyone is obviously curious and can't wait to get to know them, especially phum who is handsome, rich, and single, but he comes off as cold and a bit rude, while fang is polite and so very charming but is already engaged with lady fai, so toey ends up becoming the town's darling and the most popular bachelor, however after that one night he only has eyes for q

peem and q are actually still painters and they're at the ball not just for pleasure but also because they were allowed to showcase their works by setting them up around the room. toey and q start talking because toey is immediately fascinated by their paintings, but when fang asks phum what he thinks about them, phum ends up mocking peem's work, which peem overhears so he swears he's never gonna like phum, no matter how handsome he might be

after that night, even if other people might think him indifferent, for peem and the others is actually obvious that q likes toey, so they keep finding the most ridiculous excuses to make them meet and push them together, however this means that peem keeps being around phum as well, and no matter how civil peem promises everyone he's gonna be, he always finds himself bickering with phum by the end of it. things only get even more complicated when phum starts falling for peem and peem meets kluen: on one hand there's kluen who is kind and sweet and unabashedly into peem, but for whom peem doesn't feel much if not a warm sympathy, while on the other there's phum who peem swore to dislike and yet might not be as bad as peem thought

and then there are tan and fang who, unbeknownst to everybody else, have met each other before and almost had a thing, but fang knew he was supposed to marry fai in the future so he pushed tan away, thinking he would never see him again, except now tan is everywhere, silently (and yet very loudly) pining for him, and fang has a hard time remembering what his duty is

and last but not least we have chain and pun who have been friends since forever and are polar opposites when it comes to romance: chain is infamous for having had some kind of flirt with almost every girl in town, while pun is known for being interested in everyone's romantic prospects except his own. however, what people don't know is that after trying to matchmake pun with a friend of one of the women he was seeing, chain fell in love with him and has been waiting for pun to get a clue, even if part of him is afraid of ruining their friendship

i just need to figure out how to fit beer, mick, and matt in all of this too ;;;;;;;

ANYWAY. GENUINELY WISH I COULD WRITE THIS I CAN ONLY PRAY A GOOD SOUL DOES IT INSTEAD 🙏

[deaf-solitude]

GUYS IM SO NOT NORMAL ABOUT THE TWO NEW OFMD EPISODES TODAY!!!! MY BROKEN HEART WAS MENDED AND THEN BROKEN AGAIN WITHIN TWO HALF AN HOUR EPISODES SO WHAT IF I DIED TONIGHT

!! EPISODE 6-7 SPOILERS AHEAD !!!!

OHHHHHHHH MY GODDDD????? THE PARTY EPISODES JUST DONT MISS?? IZZY SINGING LA VIE EN ROSE (I LOVE THIS SONG) IN DRAG W/ WEE JOHN WAS CRAZYYYYYYY I WAS ACTUALLY ALMOST BAWLING AND KICKING MY FEET WITH MY FRIEND OH MY GODDDD

and listen im no izzy apologist, but GOD he has very quickly risen from one of my least favourite characters to one of my favs. I love him SO much. Con's singing voice? FUCKING GORGEOUS. and frenchie playing the lute again?? FUCK. you bet your ASS im writing a fanfic about that WHOLEEE episode. GOD. im so unbelievably happy about episode 6 you guys have NO idea. Last season's party episode was my fav prior to this, but THIS episode?? all time fav hands down. I hated that it was only 30 minutes though that shit deserved to be so much longer. and then the crew singing along through the credits and chanting one more song had me in tears, how dare they rob us of seeing that scene play out.

now dont even get me STARTED on episode 7. die. so what the fuck was that. I was LOVING when the episode started, saw frenchie shake some ass in the background and almost had a heart attack (i will forever be in love with Frenchie sorryyy), but then THAT. scene. WHAT THE FUCK. the lead up to ed and stede reuniting and making up was SO good and then THAT??? WHAT THE FUCK?? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOURE GONNA BE A FISHERMAN??? DIEEEEE. I wouldve COMPLETELY understood if Ed said the last night was a mistake and he had to figure things out before he could continue with Stede. thats fine. thats actually really great and really healthy and i love that, genuinely. but then the ARGUEMENT?? FUCK RIGHT OFF. MY HEART? SHATTERED. TORN TO SHREDS. PUT THROUGH THE BLENDER. BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK. EVERYTHING that this season had been leading up to and perfectly crafting all for NOTHING?? FOR THEM TO BE SEPERATED AGAIN?? no. im SORRY but i hate it. I *do* see it working out in a few select scenarios, but im still pissed. like if they dont have them meet back up in the most perfect way possible ill be so mad. like SO mad. and then the whole thing with Olu, Jim and Archie and Zheng Yi was so cute and then Stede had to RUIN it. god. i ahte when he gets drunk and starts aggroing at people, it never ends well. AND THEN THAT MOTHERFUCKER RICKYYYYYYYY. RICKY. WHEN I CATCH YOU RICKY. RICKY WHEN I CATCH YOU. THAT MF IS DEAD TO ME. HES BEEN DEAD TO ME. Zheng Yi's face when everything got blown up??? fuck RIGHT OFF KISS MY ASS RICKY. I FEEL SO BAD FOR HER GOD DAMN IT.

anyway im so sorry for that outburst i HAD to get that shit off my chest. anyway ofmd continues to be my all time fav show and i love it sm <3

also working on a request rn to post!! been trying to overcome my writers block and im really liking how this one is turning out. feel free to shoot me some more requests, including season 2 stuff! :D

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time. last night* we watched tng's "attached" and ds9's "necessary evil." *i am typing this at fuck o clock it will go up when im at work

attached (tng):

ok, the premise of this is basically every spirk fic ever, right...? "ooh, we accidentally have a telepathic connection and our feelings are revealed"

to get this out of the way, i like how much worf e riker e deanna was in the b-plot of this, even just circumstantially (i missed data though). i also think riker finally getting fed up with the aliens and giving them shit was really funny. riker is never mean to ANYBODY. i'm also glad he was relatively chill about picard being missing for once lol. like, in NO way were these assholes ready to enter the federation. not to agree with picard, but PART of a world can't enter. if you haven't mastered world peace you can't sit with us etc etc. not that i'm fully buying the propaganda of the federation as the ultimate good or that earth does somehow have world peace but whatever. even i know these guys weren't ready. what a fucking joke

frankly stunned this didn't lead to discussion about the affair baby wesley crusher. yes i know picard said he would never act on it. i don't care about that. i KNOW these people have had an affair baby. they're the type. he would knock her up and leave her high and dry. it's the kind of man he is. don't tell me there's no affair baby. i know what i know. there IS an affair baby!! i will die on this hill

actually, even though i dislike picard, i think sir patrick stewart is a v talented actor and i DO like him. i also really like beverly, so they managed to be charming a couple of times in this episode, mostly when they had a thought we couldn't hear and then started snickering about it

that said, i have no respect at all for jean-luc. the campfire conversation sucked. beverly was DEEPLY flattered and also in a little bit of a vulnerable position and he WAS LYING when he said he didn't feel that way anymore bc he tried to hit her up at the end of the episode. a man would have HELD HER, jean-luc. i would have held her. beverly crusher i would treat you so much better

this is insane bc i don't even have a crush on beverly. like genuinely. i only talk like this about sophie devereaux and brit marling characters. i just think it's outrageous her man doesn't treat her better. i almost had a fit when it came out he didn't like the breakfasts until beverly responded in kind also lol her saying croissant w the french accent

them getting sick when they split up was really funny. jean-luc, time to ruthlessly experience morning sickness. this is how it was after you left her high and dry post affair baby conception

the bait and switch at the end fucking killed me i love beverly making him ask and then turning him down GOOD FOR HER but i have no idea what motivated the entire thing. like, was the goal to get them together before the series ended? ok, why keep them apart? why show her pushing him through to safety at the expense of her own if she was gonna turn him down? why was she giving dtf vibes there at the end? like i was YELLING at him to go to her and then he did and she was like "actually nah." which was FUNNY and again good for her but what the fuck? i thought she wanted him. i just want her to be happy.

necessary evil (ds9):

OHHHHHHH MYYYYYY GODDDDDDD

i knew going in that this was an odo episode but AN ODO AND KIRA EPISODE??? swoon. oh my god she was the first person to give him his little constable nickname. HURL. KILL MEEEEE

actually, odo/kira and odo/quark people were BOTH getting fed during this ep. odo like yeah idc about quark but im gonna solve this murder case w extreme prejudice. i like both so i had a great time

every single mention of odo's dehumanization in the past makes me HOMICIDAL please treat him really niceys. i would kind of like to know what the cardassian neck trick is though. just not from odo

"i dont drink" fuckin hilarious. i think odo should shapeshift himself a digestive system so he can try food. um one that can digest stuff in 16 hours i guess or it would all just fall out when he gooped again. we tossed around the idea of chewing gum, since you just spit that back out eventually. but does he even have tastebuds, or just the approximation of them? his other senses seem to work ok........

the window in this acted SO sketchy like she was fake crying at her third dead husbands funeral after she just inherited a zillion dollars but she literally was innocent. she pointed at kira and was like girl she did it and we're like NO kira's innocent! and then kira is literally not innocent but shady sketchy widow is. incredible

kira with long hair my beloved. i would hate it if she had long hair in present day but it's perfect for past kira

ds9 looks SO BAD in the past. to have children running around and playing in it now is insane. you can really feel the difference between the cardassian occupation and Now so well in this episode, it's as striking to us as it would be to kira and odo

ohhh my god kira and odo. "will you ever trust me again" he's not even mad she killed that guy just mad that she lied about it. AUGHGHGHG

but when kira did something shady it was for a good cause. when odo was being shady he was indirectly working for the fucking cardassians. "choose a side" so true but he eventually chose kira's <3

i love deeply that he didn't try to fuck her. like it genuinely didn't even occur to him. ace king.

40s mystery style of this was so fun. odo narration is so funny bc like he doesnt wanna do it and his log is just one sentence bc he thinks its fucking stupid and then by the end of the ep hes like man am i supposed to be usign this thing as a diary?? girl dont worry about it james t kirk did the same fucking thing

final note: rom in this episode was amazing. i've never really given him more than a passing thought before this but him secretly being a fucking amazing thief was truly fantastic. sisko and odo good cop bad copping him was really funny too especially when you remember his son and sisko's son are besties. i would still rank the ferengi as my least favorite ds9 characters but i was pleasantly surprised with how often i laughed

TONIGHT: tng's "forces of nature" which sounds like. its gonna make me mad lol

[loopylostandfound]

For the ask game, 001- BaroRyuu and 002- Barok van Zieks! :D

OH BOY BUCKLE UP

will contain dgs-dgs2 spoilers so anyone reading who hasn't finished the games, DONT LOOK LOL

baroryuu

- when I started shipping it

oh god oh jeez. it was after I'd finished the games actually, I wasn't into it at first. I think fanfic converted me and now I'm feral LOL

- my thoughts

HHEHRHRHEHRHRHRHHRHGGGHRJRNNGGNGNGGNG

no but for real uhhhh I love them. there's something soooo chefs kiss abt this dynamic. I love when big scary guy is absolutely brought to his knees by a cute little weirdo who believed in him. saved him even. hhhrhrhrhhr they are special to me and I'm squeezing them

- what makes me happy abt them

well all of the above hdwjksjfjd but uhhh I love the growth of their relationship a lot, especially on barok's end like he realizes his behavior was shitty and is genuinely sorry for it, I love that he's not too proud to admit this. and ryuu is always so patient with him and insists that he's good even though he's treated him badly ouhghhgh they believe in each other!! wheeee

- what makes me sad abt them

the fact that ryuu had to leave ouhsgsgdjjdjff you mean you LEFT him ALONE??? hhfhdjskdj no I know he had to go it's important and I wouldn't change it but oouuuhh the heartbreak. i feel these long distance feels all too well ough

- things done in fanfic that annoy me

when someone makes ryuu like. too wooby. like turns him into a helpless damsel or some shit lol it is not my thing, I like him to have agency jdjwjdjd and don't like when he's made out to be like. an idiot lol. also in a similar vein don't like when barok is made into too much of an asshole, he's actually a kind person to most he's just a bit gruff and has a lot of walls up lol

- things I look for in fanfic

im a well documented dom ryuu enjoyer hdjsjskfjfj so that for sure (altho I don't mind any dynamic between them, I just prefer this lol) but also I like relationship reveal fics, love confessions, and anything where barok's softer side gets to peek through a lot <3 hehehe

- who I'd be comfortable with them ending up with besides each other

kazuma. lol he's just the other part of my ot3 tho hdjwkskfjjf

herlock with either of them is a fun time but I have a hard time seeing him w either of them longterm, I think vanlock are exes lmao and ryuulock probably was a fling at some point but I don't think they'd end up together

yeah it's basically just kazuma hfjwkqksjdkdk like as a longterm thing lol

- my happily ever after for them

as stated above my ot3 is asobaroryuu (any configuration of the ship lol) so I like the idea of them all moving to japan and doing law stuff together lol they have a big house and adopt a kid or two! as self indulgent as possible here jdskkskfjfjf

- who is the big spoon/little spoon

i think most of the time ryuu is probably the little spoon bc it's easier given the height difference lol but sometimes it's barok bc sometimes even a bad bitch needs to be held okay !!! and ryuu likes holding his big scary bf it makes him feel good too hehe

- what is their favorite non-sexual activity

self indulgent answer: cuddles

possibly more realistic answer but still self-indulgent: goin on walks together and talking about everything and nothing. while holding hands. also facing off in court, I think they'd enjoy being able to do that without any animosity between them

thank u im insane!!!!!!! anyways

barok van zieks

OH BOY OKAY OKAY OKAY

- how I feel about this character

[10 minutes of screaming, breaking glass noises, clown honks, car crash sounds, ripping noises, growling, whimpering, crying, insane laughter]

very normal.

I love him a lot and I never expected to going into the games!! bc I had only seen negative things abt him and expected him to be this irredeemable asshole. but no!!! he's literally a huge softie inside actually???? and like. care about truth and justice which is more than one can say for many aa prosecutors lol like he's probably the most competent of the bunch, he's just a cunt to ryuunosuke at first but he apologizes later 😭 also I love the fact that he has bats in his office like it's both a great supplement to his goth vampire aesthetic but also seems to imply he likes animals and I love to imagine him feeding his lil fruit bats hdjskdjfjf. also he's so fucking pretty and i would climb him like a tree. im incredibly normal about his tits. and thighs. anyway let's move on

- all the people I ship romantically with this character

ryuunosuke n kazuma, at the same time preferably lol. herlock, albert, and genshin get honorable mentions as ppl i think he may have had a thing for/with in the past but i don't necessarily see as a Ship for me personally lol

- my non-romantic otp for this character

i want to see the vanlock exes to worsties agenda lmaooo they are never getting back together but they are going to make each other's lives worsebetter forever <3

- my unpopular opinion abt this character

hes a sub. like at least as a strong preference jdjwkdjfj and also even in a non-sexual way, I think it would be a great de-stressing thing for him to let someone he trusts take over for a bit and take care of him, kinda just let his worries melt away. big praise kink and worship kink on this guy I think :3

- one thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon

i want uncle barok and iris interactions!!! he would be the best uncle he would spoil her rotten and she would let him lol

- my otp

asobaroryuu <3 I really think the three of them would balance out really well once they worked out their issues, baroryuu is my fav among the three pairings here n the only one that really stands on its own for me but I prefer them all together soooo much i don't like leaving kazuma out hes a little feral beast he spices up the proceedings lol

- my crossover ship

dont have one sowwy ;-;

- a headcanon fact

hes autistic. like holy shit. I saw this mans office w his constantly rearranged wine barrels and his specific custom made chalices n his whole like. aura. n was like aha. the tism. bdjskajxjdf but no fr theres more thn that that i cant think of now and i may be projecting here lol but that man is not neurotypical!!! :D

WAUGH tht was a lot lmaooooo

[fizzywashere87]

is it bad that the main reason i'm excited for my next birthday is bc then the age gap between me and the guy i like won't seem so bad lol

it's not like he's crazy older than me though, he did literally just turn seventeen a week ago but still

my sweet sixteen is in like 3 more months which tbf is still a little while but it's catching up to me the realization has dawned upon me

but i am also excited to be able to get my drivers licence! i have to wait like 9 months before officially getting it though??? it's stupid but whatever 😒

you know what's insane though??? today at church, my mom was talking to this other mom, and her son just got his licence, and apparently the teacher was like super creepy???? what's even scarier is that she said that there was one girl in that class with 10 other boys I'M PRETTY SURE THAT THAT ONE GIRL IS MY BESTFRIEND

fortunately i think she's almost done w/ that class but still it is just so,,,, idk how else to explain it other than scary eugh some men are just so disgusting

anyways,,,,, yeah back to the other mom, she is such a sweet lady! i briefly thought her son was cute, he's my age and plays the drums at church and blah blah but then i found out he had a gf so i was like nvm but i did bake his mom some cookies bc they're new to the church and i wanted to welcome them

i was really nervous and awkward when giving them to her last week i swear my voice was literally shaking but she said that the way i speak is etiquette??? i really try my best so it makes my heart happy that she said that<3

but yeah an older gentleman that i know at church (i actually call him my adopted grandfather in Christ lol) really wanted me to end up with that boy i think he was more disappointed than i was to learn that he had a gf 😭 honestly i don't really care bc i already have my man <333 (let's just call him j. bc first letter of his name yk)

he is so my type much to my dismay, he's like so pretty i want to cry whenever i think of him. that tan skin and those lovely brown eyes, his voice is so deep too like it's so???? ahshdgdgdbdb and it's so endearing whenever he plays basketball w/ my little brothers, they love him it's so cute lol he is so shy though like i wanna talk to him so so bad but i'm shy too what am i suppose to do??? i'm scared why do i have to make the first move???

unfortunately i haven’t even been able to see him lately because of his basketball practice and new job. which is sad but oh well what can i do

sigh i miss my man 😔 he's in a different state rn for his sister's baby shower, actually he should be home by now? anyway his sister is having a girl and they're naming her lily 🫶 i'm mentioning that bc that's my irl name!!! so cutteeee i'm so happy for them!!!

i wrote so much omg my bad

HELP IM GOING FOR THE OPPOSITE

THE GUY I LIKE IS A GRADE BELOW ME AND IM SCARED IM GONNA SEEM WAY TOO OLD WHEN I TURN 16 LMFAO

OMG WHAT THATS SCARY ( :0

(genuinely^)

i hope those yucky men get in trouble because omg :((((

ohhh ik those types of like "crushes" they're so hard to explain bc you dont obsess but it's like 'if he liked me id go for him'

i think im js rlly single

LMAO

AWWW THATS SO SWEET

i wanna bite you because you seem so adorableeeee ughhh

AWWWW i love ur like

idk how to explain

ur life ig

LMAO

OMGIE WHAT THE BOY I LIKE STARTS WITH J TOO

WHATATATATTTT

OMGIEEEEE UGHHHHHHH THATS SO ADORABLE

yo

he's getting a job for you so he can provide for you

what a man

*dreamy sigh*

AND HOW CUTE YOU GUYS ARE GONNA BE TWIINING WITH NAMES WHEN THE BABY IS BORN

OMGIE

ur such a cutie kat <3