#guys i think he likes his wife

[zer0expektation]

The (almost) Perfect Assistant

[the-crooked-library]

okay but like, as much as I am a fervent proponent of “not every ship should get married and in fact some of them would Never” - especially in context of enemies-to-lovers - I hope that everyone who sees me posting like that knows I am not talking about Spuffy. in fact, I would go so far as to say they are the two characters most willing and even desperate to get married that I’ve ever seen.

one of Buffy’s most persistent struggles is her right to girlhood and the inevitable expiration date she faces as the Slayer. she’s forced to fight and claw for every possible milestone that other girls around her take for granted - trying out for the cheer squad, running for prom queen, going to college, etc. one of the nightmares she has after killing Angel is about being unable to be a bride and get married. in Something Blue, she throws herself into wedding planning with a passion that speaks to her having daydreamed about it. in most cases, her commitment issues veer toward clinging rather than avoidance, and marriage is absolutely one of those beautiful, unreachable things that were ripped away from her when the Powers chose her. it haunts her.

Spike is probably even more obvious - he’s a man from Victorian England, a society that held marriage on a pedestal. furthermore, he is fundamentally a creature of devotion, never straying from Drusilla for over a century, and then from Buffy even after she was dead. their desperation is also quite similar - Spike’s original community had considered him undesirable, barring him from a love match; and while a union may have been arranged for him as a human, his vampirism took that option away entirely, in the same way that Buffy’s becoming did it. during Something Blue, he is just as committed to planning the minutiae of the wedding as Buffy is, even though they could’ve just decided to do it at the courthouse and get it over with under a shoehorned pretext. he’s been dreaming of a wedding for 150 years, let’s be real

Spuffy would’ve gone insane about a wedding. they would’ve fallen in love worse. they would have threatened each other with divorce constantly but stayed married anyway for however long they lived. hell, they should’ve done it just for the CPS reasons in season 6, just imagine having to hide it from everyone except the government, lest Anya thinks they’re trying to steal her thunder

[dovewingkinnie]

i have a story with all 4 existing genres of character.. pathetic guy and girl, scary guy and girl anyway these are just the 4 main characters of a oc story ive been making called whimsinoia yippie!!! (might change title)

[aq2003]

has anyone gotten the idea that odysseus' storyline in hades 2 is a depiction/exploration of trauma over his SA and how he's blaming himself for things that were out of his control? because that's the impression i'm getting from what i've seen. he talks about "goddesses" as his "greatest weakness" and that "he's not one to say no to them"...

when mel invites him to the bath, he brings up mortals having different standards for intimacy than gods and how it usually has a more romantic/sexual connotation. she then asks if he's uncomfortable and he has a startled reaction and brings up circe and calypso again (but never actually by name)

(this isn't ship/romance bait btw. odysseus knew mel as a kid and they're stated in-game to have a sibling/uncle-niece relationship)

also he grew apart from penelope after his return, but the game makes a point of showing that his love for penelope and telemachus is what drove him on at all so that element of his character isn't brought into question

[aesdi]

the tragedy of James and Mary Sunderland is one of the most heartbreaking and (most importantly) human stories I’ve ever had the joy in witnessing

[yayll]

Hi!! It’s my first time requesting something so I dont know how that works.. um I was thinking of some mission like some kind of ball that dazai and y/n has to go and y/n has to seduce someone to get information out of them. You know those masquerade balls? Yeah I think that really goood!! And dazai gets sooooooooo jealous and after she got the information dazai kiss her infront of that person to show him that she’s his😭😭😭😭😭😭omg

HIII angel sorry this took me a while, but i hope you like it :') i tweaked your idea a lil and fingers crossed this is what you so graciously asked for. i tried to put my best jealous goofy ass dazai in there along with the absolute MUSH his brain turns into when he has you to himself mixed with a lil........ fucked in the headness. i love requests! this was soooo fun to write i love youuuuuu <3

~ a little something about Dazai and his uncharacteristic jealousy ~

"Osamu, come on... You're my only sweetheart, you know that."

You call out half sweetly and half out of breath as you follow him down the hallway of the lavish event you were currently attending, dressed to the nines and trying to remain undercover. You were coming to realize why people didn't date within the workplace as he walked ahead, grumbling to himself. He's trying to remain unfazed, pretending to still be upset as he shrugs with his back turned to you.

"Hmph. I dunno, I don't feel like I'm your 'sweet' anything..."

This causes you to roll your eyes affectionately and pick up the pace, placing a hand on the back of his shoulder to finally stop him in his tracks. You flash him a sincere smile, and speak softly.

"I'm really sorry you had to see that. I didn't know that asshole was going to kiss me after he let me go. I also didn't think you'd ever get jealous..."

You say that last part with a more playful tone, treading dangerous waters of your unpredictable lover's emotions. As expected, he sighs dramatically, casting you a look of disgust.

"Ugh, of course I'm not... That's honestly sooo lame and pathetic. I can entertain jealousy as much as I can entertain one of Kunikida's little speeches on morals, or whatever."

"You mean his 'ideals'?"

You chide, stifling a laugh. He glares at you, his eyes narrowing as he scans you for a moment.

He can't find a single flaw on that precious face, not a single stray hair or stain on your exquisite outfit. He should change that by the end of the night.

"... You're always so negative, correcting me and whatnot. Isn't it tiring being so irritatingly superior in every way?"

This one gets a laugh out of you, You can tell he's slowly lightening up his mood by the way you both begin walking side by side once again.

"Yeah well, if it weren't for that little kiss earlier, we'd both still be all tied up in the wine cellar of this wonderful party."

He flashes you a pout, and shrugs dismissively.

"And here I thought you of all people would like the idea of being tied up with me. Hmph, wrong partner, I suppose."

Now he was starting to pick back at you, though it was cute. Jealousy looked cute on him, it was something you didn't think he was capable of. It was a pity it had to be during a mission where your main asset was your seduction skills and his was mental instability. You hated every second of it, but you also wanted to make sure you both made it out with the secret intel alive.

You make your way into the grand ballroom, the gala is in full swing, and your eyes dart around to find a proper escape route. Just as you see an exit, a handsome and well dressed young man blocks your view, sticking his hand out.

"Hi. You're gorgeous. Care for a dance?"

You stare down at his hand and then back up at the stranger, your face flushing as you're caught off guard.

"Me? No, no I-"

Dazai immediately interjects, sloppily holding a glass of champagne that somehow manifested in his hand and pretends to be drunk. He loved his theatrics, especially when he was desperate.

He bumps harshly into the young man's shoulder, the alcohol sloshing out of the cup as he slurs, but not before he flashes you a wink to tell you to play along.

"Sooo sorry, pardon me. This indeed beautiful angel is quite busy you see... Taking care of me that is. Ooh, I'm a wreck! I'm nothing but a sad and lonely dog.. In this sad and lonely world-"

The man looks at Dazai skeptically, and huffs into a chuckle. He shoves him away, and turns his attention back to you. Your eyes dart nervously between the two, wondering what Dazai will do next.

"Shut it, clown.. Anyway, I think this further proves you should be in the company of a gentleman like me tonight rather than this wet mop-"

The sound of a champagne flute soaring through the air and connecting to the man's skull is suddenly heard, interrupting him and sending him falling to the ground along with broken glass and liquid everywhere. In one swift motion, Dazai is at your side with a premature victorious smirk, but before you can both be on your way, the man regains his posture and spins him around, punching him square in the face. Dazai's not scrawny or weak, but he isn't the most skilled fighter, relying mostly on his special ability and intelligence to get him out of things.

You gasp, instinctively grabbing Dazai by the collar of his suit and dragging him away to get lost in the crowd of concerned people. You finally make it outside and you both collapse onto the soft grass just outside the venue. It's decorated with all kinds of flowers and fragrant rose bushes, it almost looks like you're at the garden of Versailles. You look over at Dazai, his nose bleeding all over the place, but he looks completely unbothered by it. As you reach over to touch the bridge of his nose, he grabs your wrist and holds it away gently. He waves a finger at you.

"No touchy, I've got it."

He does not, in fact, got it. He looks around until he plucks a rose petal and uses it to wipe his nostrils. You frown, getting all up in his space within an instant.

"What on earth are you doing, Osamu? Let me help, you goofball. Your nose is a mess thanks to that stunt you pulled."

You tear off a bit of fabric from your outfit and dab his skin tenderly, holding his head on your lap now. You can see some blood has trailed down his neck, staining the bandages there along with the collar of his crisp white dress shirt you picked out for him this morning. Dazai perks up, his voice slightly strained but full of lightheartedness.

"How does it feel to work with the agency's most tactical and covert operative? Eh?~"

You bite back a smile, and shake your head. You murmur.

"Feels like he's asking for a death wish a little more than usual."

Your lips soon become a thin line, realizing your statement hurts a little more in the context of the situation than it usually would. He notices your mood shift as his eyes flicker from your concerned eyes down to your lips and back up again. He knows it hurts you when he's like this, reckless and acting out on the impulses of his own plans. He wants to sit up and close the gap between you, kiss you until you drop down those brave walls you're putting up for the sake of the mission. For the sake of your feelings for him. He knows he's careless with it all.

He hums, eyes trained on you as if burning the image of your heavenly self into his mind, where you always deserve to be. In the distance, a bulky sketchy looking man runs out of the venue frantically, looking around wildly and you both get the impression it's the guy from the cellar earlier who kissed you in exchange for your freedom.

Shit! You could have sworn you knocked him out cold. Dazai sits up from your lap and you two scoot more into the bush, trying to hide from him as he makes a call. You mutter under your breath, turning to Dazai as you begin to type something out on your communicator.

"Now's the perfect time to let the others know we're ready for extraction."

He's already looking at you, or gazing admiringly more like. He knows he can fuck up everything, pay any consequence, but the thing he needs to get right for the selfishness of his wretched little heart is you. He scoots a bit closer, hearing the sounds of both your shallow breaths harmonizing. He mutters, softly.

"It would also be the perfect time for you to kiss my face better. You know, for my wellness and all that. Besides, that guy wasn't very nice to us earlier and we need to get rid of any traces of him from those lips. Yuck."

You roll your eyes yet again, despite the fluttering that won't let your stomach rest.

"Who cares about that, we have a case to close first."

He smirks, voice dropping low and provocative.

"I care."

He leans in even further, practically caging you with both arms on either side of you. He can feel your breathing become more erratic, his own filled with a pathetic sense of need he always has when he's with you. Dazai's hand reaches out and grabs your chin, turning it up slightly to face him, making sure you drop this silly act once and for all. His voice comes out gentle, firm.

"I need you to physically push me away, or I swear I'm going to kiss you right now, cutie."

Your eyes widen as you let a shaky breath escape your plush lips, murmuring in return.

"I'll.. punch you in the nose again, you know..."

His hand moves from your chin to the side of your face, cupping your cheek as he takes another breath, his body aching to be as close to yours as possible. His eyes are fixed on you, tearing you apart right then and there, but not before putting you back together so nicely. In that moment, he knows you don't mean that, and he knows he can't resist anymore.

He then whispers with a finality, the anticipation torturing him like you do on a daily basis.

"I don't think I'm going to listen to that..."

You break into a faint smile as you perceive him back.

"You've still got a little blood on your-"

Without another word, Dazai closes the remaining distance between you and him, kissing you with fervor as his soft whines reverberate against your lips. You taste sweetness and then... metallic as your lips mesh together for a heavenly moment. He feels alive, this was what he needed, the soothing balm for his soul and any other wound only you could provide. He's like a vampire, a parasite leeching off of your very essence so he could be himself around you. Cowardly burrowing into the safety of your heart. You squirm just a tad, your fingers carding through his brown hair as you try to keep up. He pulls back after his nose can't push more air through and keeps his lips hovering over yours, feeling the heat from your mouth mingle with his as he sees your lips stained red with his blood. Just as he's going to comment on how disgustingly erotic it is to see you like that, he pushes away the indecent thoughts, using the bandage on his wrist to wipe your mouth instead.

"Okay, I'll be good for now. You can call for extraction.~"

It was a dumb thing to do and could be seen as him being territorial or jealous, but the reality of it was that it was the natural order of things when it came to the way he processed his affections. Someone gets in between the two of you in any way?

An uglier and more dangerous past version of himself would have called for an immediate execution, there was a reason he held the titles that he did. He did his very best to keep that mentality at bay, rebuking it every time he felt a dark urge that he felt needed to be dealt with, mostly for your sake and for the sake of the promise he made to a friend once. Though he can't lie and say that's not who he is anymore, he can always find a better way to get his point across... even if a wishful bullet to the head comes out in the form of a kiss on your precious lips. He'll try for you. He'll wear the fastidious label proudly and be Dazai, a jealous man.

[feniksido]

Behold another gort (i never draw anything else)

[hopeswriting]

daily life arc miura haru. does anyone know who i'm talking about. do you guys remember her. i still can't believe what happened to her 😔

[3liza]

a YouTuber just asked rhetorically, sardonically, if "Salvador Dali would be making NFTs if he were alive today" and the answer is emphatically yes. he would have loved that shit are you kidding

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

That's the face he makes when he's feeling silly.

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[bumblingbabooshka]

I think Seven would tentatively confide in B'Elanna about dissociation problems and B'Elanna would be like "Seven, everyone deals with that kind of thing! Don't worry about it too much, okay?" and they'd both be like, quietly relieved that they're not the only one and thus think that it's normal when in reality they should both talk to like, a professional. AND THEY WON'T! Bc they both kind of know in their hearts that it's weird but it's ok, bc they found someone else who understands and won't try to analyze them about it <3 Seven Dissociation: Fragile sense of burgeoning identity. Goes between feeling 'too empty' (you're not supposed to be alone) and 'too crowded' - as if she can feel multiple identities within her. Feels as if the 'original' her has died and she is a completely different person than the pre-borg her, not as if she IS that child just grown up. At times of high stress, she sometimes has memory lapses which freak her out. Not connected much to her body. Is this body hers? Where did she come from? She was born when she was severed from the collective and she was born when she emerged from the maturation chamber and she was born at some distant point in the past beyond memory, to a Human woman she once called mother. At times she listens back to her personal logs and feels as if she's listening to someone else's thoughts and opinions. Sometimes she remembers saying these things but still feels this way. It reminds her of being Borg, where she can remember things she did but can't really...reach it. Can't empathize fully. Who is Seven? Is she that child, the Human? Is she Seven of Nine, the borg? No. No. Who is Seven? B'Elanna Dissociation: Has a very 'insecure'[?] sense of identity. Easily hurt by and conscious of what others think of her though most wouldn't think this is true. Long periods of feeling completely detached from her body and the world, though she's still going about her daily tasks. Looks into the mirror and doesn't really recognize herself or sees herself as revoltingly ugly in ways others don't see or understand. At times self-harms in an attempt to 'return to herself' if she's dissociating too long as it starts to scare her. Often goes back and erases personal logs made while she dissociating. As a child had an internal habit of blaming things on one 'half' of her, heavily demonizing "The Klingon" girl and this has persisted into adulthood. Views herself in a very 'split' way - "My Klingon side protected me from X" etc. Does not have a cohesive whole vision of herself but instead sees herself as essentially "Good Half" and "Evil Half". I can picture her saying it was like she had a twin sister growing up. This began further back than she can remember but solidified totally after her father abandoned her family. At times she feels she is the "good" version of her, berating the "bad" one and at other times she's the "bad" one being berated. Her body is ugly and she is half evil and if only she could get rid of it, disengage from it, escape herself totally....

[pines4thetwin]

Taller!Ford truther here. When they get older (this can be at any age really) Ford ends up being taller than Stan. This can be like by one inch or like half a foot taller idrc.

It only really becomes noticeable to them after everything settles down and the world is no longer ending and (Stan, when he notices that ford is like three inches taller then him: Hey, Whatcha got shoes on for... we're inside

Ford: I don't

Looks down to see both of them are bare foot Stan: Well fuck!)

Stan of course refuses to believe it and will smite anyone who mentions it.

Ford doesn't mention it but Stan is sure that Ford is doing shit on purpose to mess with him like:

Always standing super extremely close when they're talking (which forces stan to have to tilt his head up) and looking down at Stan.

Coming up behind Stan, hand on Stans hip when he has to grab stuff off the higher shelves.

Putting stuff up high just out of Stan's reach (its where things have always gone but now that stan notices the height difference... It drives him insane.)

The one occasion when they hugged and Ford had rested his chin on top of stan's head (and stan refused to let ford hug him again stating that he didn't like being mushy but really he was just fuming)

Ford casually using Stans shoulder as an armrest

When they finally get together and Stan gets annoyed cause he realizes he cant just lean in to kiss Ford, He has to lean up and Ford is annoyed cause he doesn't get why Stan refuses to kiss him unless Ford (or both of them) are sitting down and Stan wont tell him because "You know what you're doing, Stanford. Don't play dumb"

[skyloftian-nutcase]

TotK DLC idea!

The screen is black. You don’t hear anything for a long time. Then, faintly, in the distance, you can hear it.

Link. Link. Open your eyes.

While the line echoes familiarity, the voice does not.

Or. Well. It does. Because while it isn’t Zelda, it’s a familiar man’s voice speaking gently, so gently you almost don’t recognize it because there’s no way he ever spoke like this in the main game.

But he is now. And instead of a golden light being the first image you see before the screen shows Link awakening… you see gloom floating in the air. The image cuts to a Hylian waking up who… doesn’t look like Link from TotK?? He’s different, still small in stature, with slightly tanner skin, platinum light blonde hair, and red eyes. But… something’s wrong with his forehead. There’s a weird line on it.

This new character you apparently are gonna be playing in the DLC blearily blinks his eyes open, clearly groggy and too weak to really move. But then that line on his forehead moves a hair, it splits apart, and you realize it’s a freaking eye, red and yellow and it’s like the ones on gloom hands and oh gosh what the hell is it doing on his forehead—

Link realizes something is off and his eyes blow wide, his hands reach for his forehead and he screams in agony and terror, only for someone to scoop him into a hug to soothe him.

And suddenly you realize why that voice was eerily familiar.

It’s Ganondorf. He resurrected you from the era of the Imprisoning War. You, who have a history with him and his family. You, who he wants to protect, who he views as his kid, who he calls a prince and says he’ll keep you safe by controlling your body with his dark magic if he has to.

Welcome to Tears of the Kingdom: Hero’s Shadow.

You have to play a long gone Hero who was resurrected. Ganondorf, who is still recovering his strength in preparation for killing the current Hero, tasks you with finding your betrothed, his daughter, as well as his wife. They’re buried somewhere in the Depths like you were. He wants you to find their burial sites so he can use his secret stone to resurrect them like he did you, and control them as well. Which is doubly bad when you realize his wife was the original Sage of Lightning. He gives you free reign to wander once you go through a tutorial (he tests you to see if you’ve recovered enough strength), because he knows you love wandering and collecting things. Your own personal objective, however, is trying to help Hyrule from the Depths, to break free from Ganondorf’s control, because Link would rather set himself on fire than let Ganondorf resurrect and control the love of his life and his mother-in-law. Your best hope is to find shards of the shattered Master Sword to try and stab the eye on Dark Link’s forehead and break the control Ganondorf has on you. Until you can, though, the monsters are your allies, you can teleport across the Depths by manifesting out of the gloom created by gloom hands (just like what Phantom Ganon does), and the world below is your oyster. If you get too close to sword shards when gloom hands are nearby, Ganondorf can see your attempt and immediately takes control of your body, and no matter what button you press Link just walks back to Ganondorf’s location and stays there until you get a chance to try again.

You start with three hearts, all empty looking like when gloom hurts you, and if you get injured they just shatter. Whenever they all shatter, you respawn at Ganondorf’s location because his gloom hands came and rescued you from dying. The only way you can get more hearts is by collecting poes and offering them to the statues in the Depths. You can communicate with the spirits of soldiers, who may give you combat tips or info about the area. If you gain enough of Ganondorf’s trust, he’ll let you command monsters, and he might even let you wander the Surface (under his supervision) during a blood moon.

You learn of Link’s and Ganondorf’s history through discovering ancient relics/texts that trigger memories. This connection between you and Ganondorf stems back to time before the war, well over ten thousand years ago. Link was engaged to Ganondorf’s daughter, but during the Imprisoning War the family fought against the demon king. Ganondorf did love his family, but he loved power more. Link sacrificed himself, letting himself get mortally wounded to save Rauru from a killing blow. Gan held him as he died, and it allowed Link to both beg him to stop and stab him in the heart with a light shard. The shard didn’t kill him, but it was what Rauru connected with when he hit him in the chest, allowing him to seal Ganondorf away. Ganondorf still wants the world, but his love for his family is still present, though now twisted, so he thinks he can control Link and everyone else with his dark magic in order to keep them safe and in line. Once the threat of the current Hero is eliminated, the world will be his, and his family will be safe. As such, he treats you, Link, the player, like a stubborn child, reeling you in, but does so in a horrific way, torturing Link by controlling him.

You have to break free of this and stop him, and the only hope you have is the distant call of a sword spirit…

[twistedstarsintertwined]

endlessly amused by cries of "you can’t ship them, it’s practically incest!" about two unrelated (adoptive or biological) fictional characters. because honey definitionally it is not. but i can make it incest. i can make them related. i think they might like it more if they were. it would certainly be hotter in any case.

[zhmoelz]

this is gonna be such a bog standard joelguy post but anyone ever think about how so many of joels recent-ish duos are so. snappy. comparing him to fire is overdone but whenever he's with someone they legitimately do just get on like a house on fire. every dynamic he's in they're always just biting at each other. pearl iskall gem etho shane fwhip even sausage to an extent. not to mention jimmy oli lizzie and scott. what is his Deal

[silvertws]

My idea of Odysseus and the Odyssey in general has been now clouded by the musical.

It's cool to know what's gonna happen, love having to study that in elementary.

Hey, Odysseus, when are you going to tell your family you're actually leaving again to die at sea? :D