#guys i might read icebreaker again

[winter-depressed-belle]

i forgor to draw today, i was too busy :(

this make up for it?

[aquamarixx]

the homeowner effect

Niko Ikki never knew owning a house could be such an icebreaker—until his blind date’s flustered, accidental comment leaves him wondering if this might be his best date yet. pairing niko ikki x reader tags post manga timeskip, aged up characters, fluff, happy birthday niko! navigation

Your friend, Otoya, sets you up with someone he knows. According to him, his friend is a ��nice guy”—a term that usually makes you suspicious. Otoya isn’t exactly known for being a stellar matchmaker, after all. But so far, the guy in question, Niko Ikki, is polite, attentive, and surprisingly easy to talk to.

He likes anime and manga. He has pretty good taste in music, too. He seems too good to be true, and you can’t help but test the waters a little to get him a little bit better.

“So, where do you live?” you ask, stabbing the carrot cake you’ve ordered to share.

He casually name-drops a notoriously expensive and quiet neighborhood. “It’s nice and peaceful there,” he says.

You nearly choke on your drink. “Wait, seriously? You live there?”

He nods as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. “Yeah.”

Curiosity gets the better of you. “So… do you share the rent with someone? Like a roommate or…?”

He blinks, looking slightly confused, as if the thought hasn’t even occurred to him. “No. I, uh… I own the place.”

Your fork clatters onto your plate, drawing a few curious glances from nearby tables. You don’t care. “You own it?”

“Yeah,” he admits softly, the tips of his ears turning red. “I bought it last year.”

“You bought it last year?” you repeat, dumbfounded.

He tilts his head slightly, as though he can’t quite understand why you look so shocked. “Yes.”

“Wait, you’re 27, right?”

“Yeah, 27,” he confirms, taking a sip of his drink.

You stare at him in disbelief, the pieces of information refusing to settle in your brain. “Okay, so… you own your place in one of the priciest neighborhoods in the city. How? I mean—are you, like, a trust fund baby or something? What do you do?”

He chuckles softly, shaking his head. “No, no trust fund. I just… work hard and save. I play sports.”

“Like professionally?” you ask, your voice laced with amazement.

“Kind of,” he says with a small shrug. “It’s for a local team.” Well, technically, the Japan National Team is a local team, Niko thinks.

Your gaze drifts over him, noticing for the first time how well-built he is. He catches you looking, and you quickly cough, averting your eyes. But your thoughts linger on the bigger revelation: he owns his place.

And you’re impressed. Stunned, really. Here you are at 25, living in a shared house with your best friend and still making payments on a car loan your parents had practically forced you to buy. And meanwhile, Niko—calm, humble, and ridiculously cute Niko—is out here playing sports for a living and owning a house in this economy.

“You own your own house,” you repeat, almost in disbelief.

“Yes,” he says again, his voice steady but his ears now bright red under your scrutiny.

Before you can stop yourself, you mutter, “Wow, that’s hot.”

Niko freezes mid-sip, his eyes snapping to yours. His cheeks turn a deep pink, and his lips part as if he’s not sure he’s heard you right. “H-Hot?”

You groan, slapping a hand over your face. “Oh my god, I said that out loud, didn’t I?”

He looks down at his glass, his fingers brushing the edge nervously. But then, a soft smile tugs at his lips, and he lets out a quiet laugh. “I mean… thanks?”

Peeking at him through your fingers, you find his shy but amused expression making your heart flutter. It’s not fair. Not only is he financially stable and smart, but he also has this quiet, unassuming charm that makes you want to know more.

“So, uh,” you say awkwardly, trying to recover, “what else are you hiding? Do you, like, run your own company on the side or something?”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “No, nothing like that. I’m just a regular guy who likes anime, gaming, and reading manga. And plays sports for a living.” He pauses, his gaze meeting yours, and his tone softens. “And I think this is the first time anyone’s ever called me ‘hot’ because of where I live.”

“Well,” you say with a shrug, trying to act cool despite the warmth creeping up your neck, “there’s a first time for everything.”

He laughs again, the sound warm and genuine, and you feel yourself relax. This date isn’t just going well. It’s easily the best one he's had in a long time.

amari's notes: happy birthday to one of my faves and fellow aquarius baby, niko! i am going all out celebrating his birthday. made a fanfic, made a cake and commissioned an art! there are some niko merch i managed to get and hopefully i get more!

taglist: @inu1gf

[zeebee3]

Queen, I read almost all your recs and wanted to thank you.💙😍 I liked that most of them featured the breeding kink (I didn't want children before but now I might be reconsidering hehehehe).

If you could suggest more, I wouldn't be mad.😳🙏

Woohoo, so happy you read and enjoyed so many of them!! Your wish is my command--always happy to rec fics 😍

Again, in no particular order...

Dramione

She Will by Undertheglow. Draco/Hermione, written in future tense and poetic as HELL while still being scorching hot. I adore this one.

Dépaysement by Setissma. If you haven't read this OH MY GOD you're in for a treat. I can't be eloquent about how much I love it. It has it all (fake marriage, forced domesticity, tension and smut and feeelingggsssssss) and I can't be chill about it.

One Whole by SaffronGin. Don't be intimidated by the chapter count, they are delicious little bites. This fic is a JOURNEY in every sense and I had the best time following it as a WIP. In fact, I need to do reread now that it's complete--keeping the tab open!

The Unintended Consequences of Purposive Action by ellieauthor. When an accidental bit of roleplay has unintended consequences 🤭 Everything Ellie writes is whip-smart and banter-rich, and this is a peak example of it.

The Delivery Clause by ThornedHuntress. You've heard of arranged marriages, well the hot new thing is an arranged pregnancy. Enjoyyyy!

A Tentacular Spectacular by Sugarquilling. Hermione fucks the giant squid while Draco watches. I mean...idk what else to say about it (except read it, it's glorious)

We Fell In Love In October by ohthedrarry. This is a socmed AU (textfic) and dkfjsldfjskdfjl I just love it

CHESS CLUB by Ivy_and_right. Another textfic. Draco has a virginity kink, and Hermione is a virgin. Again, idk what else to say about it except that you will stay up all night reading it

icebreaker by ninepiecesofcrait. Nine really outdid herself with this one guys. PHEW BOY. Ginny gives Hermione a sex toy as a not-so-joking joke, but oops it's wrapped identically to Draco's gift. Guess which one he takes home. Guess what he decides to set to rights 🤗

For I Have Sinned by spicyxpisces and Stars_in_motion. Priest!Draco, devout!Hermione. We're not going to talk about how many times I've read this one. Join me in the soft-and-gentle edging depravity 🙏

atonement by takenbytheview. You know that scene in Atonement, when he writes That Letter then gives her the wrong one? Yeah. That. That but Dramione; That but somehow BETTER than it's ever been 🫠🫠🫠

Not Dramione

I Did Something Bad by charingfae. Tom Riddle/Hermione, with time travel and tension and the most toxic flirting you've ever seen. I think about this one all the time.

Voussoir by setissma. Look, I'm just gonna out myself as a die-hard Setissma fangirl. Just go through their backlog and read everything--do it do it! This is a Draco/Harry/Hermione triad fic, and reading it makes me both yearny and calm (as with basically everything else Setissma writes does).

Hydra by setissma. Omg weird, another Setissma? How'd that get in here? Pansy/Harry. READ IT READ IT READ IT. These are the characterizations I would die to be able to write.

Hopefully you find more fics to enjoy from here! And don't forget to kudos and, even more meaningful, comment so the writers know you enjoyed them too. It really does make all the difference 🥰🫶

[genericpuff]

a shapeshifting time traveler and his apprentice who works as a minimum wage barista get pissed because their perfect speedrun keeps getting ruined by two teenagers with a kill count

they're about to run attempt 9999 and the barista is terrified that his boss is about to end up in some Y2K situation

the time traveler is very old and really does not care for the pop culture references from his apprentice whose strongest skill is creating latte art

they don't even get the bragging rights of being the main characters but still have to do the job of the main characters because the actual main characters are too involved in their love/hate relationship to be any good at saving the world

this is time gate.

---------

OKAY BUT HONESTLY I've been kind of stressing over making this post not because I didn't want to follow through on that poll I hosted, but also just because like... it's original work! And it's original work that I've been doing for over a decade in relative obscurity. So it's a little nerve-wracking to be like "Hey guys! Go read this comic that I started drawing nearly a decade ago! It really shows!" especially when I'm doing it from an alt account (i.e. this one) that people know me for being relatively confident on. It's like being that "one kid" in show & tell with their Pokemon cards all over again 🤣 I kept trying to come up with some kind of post that would "justify" me posting about it all, but nothing felt "good enough" so I finally went back to this draft about Springlock and decided to use that as the icebreaker. It's now or never.

Time Gate is a dark fantasy series I've been working on since about 2007/2008ish. It's existed on the Internet in multiple forms, starting as a Zelda fanfic online in 2009 and then dropping all the Zelda stuff and turning into an original comic series in 2014. Since then its first installment, Reaper, finished in 2021, two hours before the 'untimely' death of Betty White that totally wasn't the fault of my main character who can predict people's deaths. Reaper's completed narration of the beginning of [loop: 9998] clocks in at over 2,000 pages.

Now I'm working on Time Gate: [AFTERBIRTH] which is a direct continuation of Reaper and is drawn in the more vertical webtoon style. Yes, the choice of title is intentional, funnily enough the episode featuring my main character bursting out of a tub of her own blood and bodily fluids only got removed by Webtoons for having "too much boob curve". So I covered it up with more blood and that got Webtoons' seal of approval. Webtoons is... weird.

This series is a love letter to all those "weird kids" who grew up wondering why they got dopamine rushes off of arguments and fights or getting in over their heads trying to grow up too fast. It's a love letter to the people who love hyper-analyzing convoluted and way-too-long narratives with overpowered characters who could only exist within the limitless bounds of the imagination.

But most of all, it's a love letter to the part of me that still adores dumb over-the-top weeb shit.

That being said, this piece of work is not intended to provide comfort, but rather, catharsis. Don't read it looking for any kind of guidance on life or interpersonal relationships. Its story and its characters are only concerned with what comes after - when the lights have gone out and the hourglass has run empty.

This series contains blood/gore and fantasy violence, and depicts adult topics such as post-traumatic stress disorder through a fictional lens. It is not intended for anyone under the age of 18+.

I have a dedicated Time Gate blog, so you might see some reblogs here every now and then as I start to use it more (though I'm currently resting through a hiatus, LORE | REKINDLED came around at the perfect time for me to have something new to work on).

As you may have guessed, with Reaper originally launching in 2014 (when I was literally 18) the comic has... not aged gracefully, at least in my opinion, and could use some reworking, at least the first few volumes (I'm still pretty happy with the stuff that came out around the 2019-2021 mark after I took a nearly 2 year hiatus).

Of course, I can't stop y'all from looking it up and reading it (the original version will still be canon even if it's aged so help yourself) but just know there's a dedicated redraw and rewrite on the way <3

And if it's not your cup of tea, that's fine! It's a completely different story with different goals from Rekindled. The main characters aren't saints and they're in a relationship I definitely wouldn't recommend anyone be in LMAO

That being said, don't be surprised if you hear the subtle heartbeat of Time Gate underneath the floorboards of Rekindled~

[farewellneverland2004]

my gripes with ep 1 Phayu

so I came across this post that made me remember my biggest gripe with Phayu at the begining.

Plot-wise, I see why that needed to happen, because unlike everyone else around them, Rain doesn't really Idolize Phayu, in fact, he's semi-jealous because his current crush is enamored by him. Still, he doesn't know the bike bro is Phayu, so he admires him in a different way than others. If he acted nice (like he should've done) and let him know he indeed remembered him, he'd probably just be another admirer from afar. but if Phayu pretended not to remember him when it was only like a day or two ago and they actually talked, he'd have a less than admirable look at Phayu but still recognize him as a flawed person.

while also giving a better excuse as to why Rain didn't hesitate to ask him for help, because he knows more about cars than he does, but since he doesn't remember him, He feels comfortable asking for help from him again. at least, that's how I read it

but character-wise, this seems not only cruel to crushing Rain's spirit but also a way too convoluted and silly plot for a man with Phayu's level of intuition. Like what nitwit tinkers with a guy's car to have an excuse to be their knight in shining leather jacket, yet decides "you know what? I should make the cute guy think I don't remember him instead of just saying the truth that I vividly remember the cutie on the side of the road with a flat tire to maybe idk have a cute little icebreaker talk?"

Like there was no reason for him to think this would actually work out for him in his favor and he just got lucky that Rain is terrible at subtly stealing glances at him. Because for all we know, he could've just been completely willing to accept that he didn't remember him and move on with his life.

If anything, this, along with him fucking with his car should give him the idea that maybe Rain isn't just completely playing hard to get.

Maybe I'm Bias, but I 100% am on Rain's side for the mishap/borderline assault. Phayu! Buddy! you're supposed to be smarter and more mature than this! You genuinely thought that he was supposed to get the hint that you wanted to hook up instead of having him pay money to get his car fixed, when his car was messed up BY YOU!? You're hot! but sometimes people are just stranded in a rainstorm and need a mechanic, and they're willing to pay money for their car to be fixed.

It's not easy for everyone to catch on to the deeper meanings behind "can you pay the price" or whatever. and if you thought he was just clumsily hitting on you, why did ti take you a good head wack before you got the memo that he wasn't looking to sleep with you?

Is that what you think "playing hard to get" is? You're the king of playing hard to get! you should be able to tell the difference I feel.

But, like I said before, I am speaking from the lense of someone who is neurodivergent. So I might just be interpreting things as the way I view interactions with people.

But can someone else tell me if they also agree with this gripe? cause I know that kinda toxic and jackass decisions in the first episode of shows aren't anything new, but I just feel the scene is almost written as if we are supposed to all believe that Rain was the one making mistakes and leading him on because he's supposed to be too dumb to realize how obvious he is about his attraction towards Phayu. And I hate that because not only does that feel like victim blaming, but also excuses Phayu for making a dirt bag decision of trying to sleep with a very confused college student who is verbally telling him to stop and that he was not intentionally throwing himself at him.

like i said before, I love Phayu, but that decision making always pisses me off because it doesn't even really fit with his character.

[fountainpenguin]

I Just Live here- 130 Prompts.

1, 3, 9

[Current Ask game]

"I Just Live Here" - Read on FNN || Read on AO3

--

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

I've had the idea for this 'fic for maybe 4 years; its working title was "House Tours With Plot" (a title I've considered recycling several times, so you might see it again someday). For a couple years I considered writing it as a winter solstice holiday piece, but never got around to it.

Earlier this year, I condensed some stray 'fics into 130 Prompts (after retiring some old Prompts drafts I didn't like). This was one of them, so here it is.

I've been wanting to do a piece about Poof's relationship with the Fairywinkles (since, y'know... shady side of the family), so this was a good icebreaker into showing off his lateral freckles and having a run-in with Westley, (plus the "Am I adopted?" convo).

Also I was surprised that Finley was a breeze to write. He may be a grumpy pixie who can't do magic and just wants to play video games forever, but he's a surprisingly fun narrator. He flows really well and I like him.

3: What's your favorite line of narration?

I really like all of Finley's section in particular, but here are a couple highlights:

- I always laugh when people ask what I want my dream job to be. That's cringe, guys. - They can even handle the dry cleaning. I have to do that crap by hand. Please… No way. - "Where's Dad?" I ask, just to irritate him. Me, Palomar, Jardine, and Commelina are basically the only pixies who can get away with calling H.P. "Dad." He's biased towards two on that list, counting them like his children as if he even bothered to raise them. Jardine just can't be tamed. As for me, it's because I don't give a blazing B about what the head honcho thinks of me, and he knows it. - I already miss Foop. He's a total dip, an absolute mess of a person, but he's also my immediate roommate about 90% of the year. - I hate when my desire for malicious compliance falls prey to the need to suck up for good stuff. I pull out my DS again. H.P.'s eyes linger over me like he's debating whether he can get away with telling me that if I have time to game, I have time to take notes on important warehouse crap. 

He has a strong voice and I love him <3

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

The initial prompt associated with the "I Just Live Here" title was Crocker calling Mark's parents to a parent-teacher conference, and Mark requesting Timmy's help. I think that's a strong premise for a story, but... it never really came to me, and I have too much to write without forcing myself to finish a non-essential piece that doesn't inspire me.

In terms of this story's final plot and what came before, I would have been tempted to include Goldie and/or Sammy Sweetsparkle if the draft hadn't ended up at 17k.

Sammy's a changeling (for Bunsen's family, specifically- idk how many people remember that, but in the Riddleverse, Sammy Sweetsparkle and Bunsen are canonically siblings, based on those episodes where they use the exact same dialogue and I think it's funny). But... didn't really know what to do with it considering I was trying to stay under a certain wordcount per character. Not a lot you can do without Mikey, my beloved.

One day I'll post all the Goodness of Misfit chapters I've been sitting on and everyone will be shocked, including me...

Also, I'd also initially planned for Foop's chapter to include him running an obstacle course, but him talking about the teacups took way longer than I thought, so I left it as it was. Plus, I've done obstacle course stories before and they're rough to convey... More of a good visual gag.

Thanks for asking and hopefully that satisfies your curiosity!

[Current Ask game]

[honeydots]

I was just re-reading to Prune a Grapevine and I had a question, how did Laslow and Xander meet? Odin teased it a little bit, but did he set them up or did they meet by chance because Odin knew Leo?

hi anon ive been so excited to answer this. i quite genuinely almost wrote a fic about their meeting in this universe so read more time

so first of all, a note: odin accrediting himself to their relationship does not mean laslow does LOL i imagine laslow probably rolls his eyes intensely whenever odin says that (even if there's a mild amount of truth to it)

also to answer your questions, no and no--but the second one is closer haha.

so setting the scene! laslow's in his early 20's, he moved to nohr for his career. he has a job dancing with a company, and he was actually very lucky to have landed the position he got. he's sort of paranoid about losing it.

xander (or rather, at this time it's garon--anya corp--just remembered i named their company that LOL) is a sponsor of the theater they work in, and of the dance company in general. a perk of sponsorship is watching a dress rehearsal, and you can probably imagine how this leads to their meeting.

but! it's a little more than that. obviously the cast knows that they'll have a sponsor watching them that day, but they're also told by the director they need to be nice to this guy. he's giving us money and we want him to keep doing that. so laslow has slightly more incentive to talk to xander, strictly because he thinks if he can show they get along, he'll have more job security, LMAO

a little more background knowledge, here's why odin is relevant. odin and leo, yes, are already friends!! odin doesn't live in nohr yet, though. laslow doesn't know leo, but he does know that odin has a Very Rich Nohrian Pal named Leo Anya. but that's the extent of it, laslow doesn't even know what leo looks like.

back to the dress rehearsal! during the intermission, i imagine laslow's getting a drink or something, he does end up running into xander. and they make some really simple small talk, xander probably makes a comment that he noticed laslow as one of the background dancers (xander certainly already found laslow striking, but i fully believe xander flirts only by stating recognizable facts in an entirely non-flirtatious way djfkdfjs), but that's about it.

laslow, though, is desperate to make a chance for himself. he's like 22 and wants to keep his job. he has been thinking about, all this time, how he knows of a different nohrian anya who is very rich, and he's been wondering if they're related. and he thinks he can give it a shot asking, because it might prompt some more conversation anyway

SO laslow asks xander if he has a little brother named leo. clearly xander does, so he says yes, and laslow kind of frantically explains that he knows a friend of his. odin. who xander recognizes from when odin has visited. and then odin serves as a pretty genuine icebreaker between the two of them, and they chat until laslow has to go.

they don't start dating until later, though. usually what i imagine happening is xander comes and sees the show again when it's in actual production, and laslow says hi to him afterwards. and this stays a trend for a little bit, until xander asks him to dinner and laslow accepts--a little less worried about his job and a little more wanting to be wooed by the pretty man, haha. and then history!

part of the reason i didnt write this as a fic is because there's actually more stuff that happens after they get together, but i've been debating if i want to include it. and then there's possibly even more after that, but i haven't committed to it being in this universe or not. but i'd want that to be part of the fic too, but then lord above it would start getting long. largely, it goes into how the falling out with garon ended up happening. but the actual falling out would be after siegbert and soleil are not only born, but like, five or six years old. so. that'd be long.

but!!! that's how xander and laslow happened in the grapevine-verse :D thank you for asking this has been rattling around in my brain for like. ever. dfkdjsfkdj <3

[bbarican]

april 30, 2023; 11:32 am - thank you, april 🌻🌷💐

here we are again at the end of another month; april was surprisingly really good - we got to travel, work was okay and productive most of the time, i was exposed to the arts a lot too, and it was just a really eventful month and im beyond grateful for everything that happened

so for the last day of april, i am going to spend it cleaning my room - call it spring cleaning if you will - while palying music and singing my lungs off, then taking a long cold shower, and then spending the rest of the day reading icebreaker by hannah grace and let me tell you that book is spicy af and i love it so much

then later this evening, we're off to church which im excited for kasi i get to say thank you to god for this amazing month and i get to seek guidance from him ulit for the next month to come and then after that we might go out for dinner and then im off to makati with my bestfriends hopefully to celebrate my bestfriend's very successful first prod run

either way, kahit na hindi kami matuloy ng friends ko, im sure today will still be amazing - i hope you guys have a really lovely sunday whether youre by yourself or with family or friends! please take care and stay hydrated and yes you should wear that cute top youve been dying to wear

[m1ckeyb3rry]

AHHHH SO EXCITED!!! I lowk forgot proofreading was a thing LMAO enjoy the rest of your activities though!!!

The headers always look so clean and nice….i love how you format them LOL the bfb one slaps hard!!!

I feel like it’s been hinted that we’ll get a Kunigami comeback in just really hoping that kaneshiro doesn’t pull a gege and leave us hanging!!! You don’t even know when gege just dropped some basic mentions of Inumaki’s background and never even gave us a flashback of baby toge I LOST IT

LFMAOO STOP IM CRYING I totally forgot that since they’re both six foot and from the Kansai region AND both have animals in their name (yup!! Sheep hiori canon LMAO) AND play for Bambi Osaka….goodbye just a collective face palm everyone is so done HAHAHA

MIDAIR well now you have a very unique experience to talk about if you ever get thrown into an icebreaker game LMAOOOO I like how they like prepared barf bags for the ride?? Maybe it’s more common than you’d think LOL and omg…yk maybe the gimmick for these meds is that they knock you out so you CANT feel anything but yesss we love flat nice roads that don’t induce motion sickness!!

OH YEAH ok that’s definitely one moment that caught me too I just couldn’t think of it but the way that he and zantetsu just bonded and got to know each other a bit in the bath scene…the team v trio truly would not have existed without that duo first!! I wish we got more moments between them!! Wait speaking of���.zantetsu ln…? I completely forgot that maybe that’s a possibility???

NIKO HAIRCUT i can imagine the wavy white hair just like obscuring his vision like a sheepdog LMAOO

No trust after everything we’ve seen that LN is about to just be a carbon copy of bfb LMAOOO ok but genuinely I feel like even if it is a bit different it’ll still be just as good, kinda just like exploring a different avenue of a character beyond the scope of BLLK premises! And tbh like fully truly literally based off our whole convo and what’s happened I can’t imagine Karasu being super different from what we’ve been discussing like if anything it might just feel like an expansion of a certain aspect of his character? But yeah I agree I think your safe HAHA trust when that LN comes out I’m dropping everything to read and tl….

Also you’re going to have to excuse my chronically online speed replies I somehow have a bunch of down time or time in transit that I just use to catch up and write back and doom scroll LMAO

-Karasu anon

LMAOO to be fair i barely proofread so there’s always more than a couple of mistakes in my stories but i think it’s fair considering how much i write…if i extensively proofread everything it would take forever for me to upload so i do two quick readthroughs just to catch anything super egregious (first for grammar, second for awkward bits of dialogue/sentence structure) and that’s about it. typically for something in the 5-10k range it takes me an hour or so?? but given the length we’re working w here it might be a bit longer

i think it’s so fun experiment!! the bfb one is super fun i agree…the karasu version has me drooling though like as much as i love otoya karasu is SOO handsome it just automatically looks sm better w him

oh 100% i do think he’s going to come back!! i just hope it’s in a satisfying way and not one of those gege-type comebacks where nothing is actually resolved and then they just die/become irrelevant again

i think at that point karasu would enlist otoya to help him set reader up with hiori because otoya has like girl experience?? the plot continues to thicken LMAOAOA at this point ego probably gets involved too somehow…he’s like “karasu you don’t have enough EGO 😩😤 you have to chase after the girl you want and think she’s obsessed with you” meanwhile everyone is like is that not harassment…

LITERALLY like ykw i’ve thrown up in worse places at least this was scenic!! and yeah i do think it must be pretty common because the guy wasn’t even stressed out about it 😪 ig it’s one of those things where you can’t know if you’ll be affected by it until you’re up there and once you are it’s kind of too late?? so they have to be prepared LMAO

omg wait how did i forget abt him too!! tabieita plus zantetsu would make sm sense especially considering they’re getting sm attention in epinagi rn…wait also the way karasu and zantetsu are being so focused on in epinagi is making me super hopeful for them in bm vs pxg!! like maybe they’re going to do smth soon 😳 one can hope anyways 🙏🏻

PLEASE not the sheepdog…yk what that reminds me of

CANONICAL baby nagi!!

HAHAH tbh given our track record kaneshiro will probably even name karasu’s sister yayoi atp 😭 and i agree i think it’s fun to explore characters in diff ways!! bllk doesn’t even exist in bfb so it’s automatically different already and honestly people have written all of these soccer freaks worse and more ooc i’m sure it’ll be alright!!

DON’T WORRY i just have been chronically offline so i don’t use too much data 😰 but normally i am the number one chronically online queen so i don’t mind at all

[pageadaytale]

NaNoWriMo "Week" 1: A Slow Start

Well I've made a start.

The problem is, I'm still about five days behind. A combination of brain fog, exhaustion, and depression as the nights close in have stymied my attempts to write. I wrote 1,000 words to begin, hated all of it, and started again. It's gone much better the second time - and I'm going to count those first words, because I've not deleted them yet. I'm going to put both attempts below the cut, and you can decide which one is better (spoilers: it's very obvious which is better).

If you want to check it out, read on below:

EXCERPT 1: THE FIRST VERSION

The first thing I sing about is the bridge. It’s where this all started, after all.

The bridge doesn’t exist anymore. It fell into disrepair, people forgot about it, the world moved on, as it does. No reason why it shouldn’t.

Only… I’ll never see her again now.

It starts with cold. Bitter cold. The song is about the chill in your bones that numbs your toes and travels up your legs, stinging your knees. But it’s also about loneliness. The loneliness that does the same to your tears and stings your heart. Maybe that’s why I heard it.

Maybe that’s why I ran.

There were a dozen of us in Camp F, but it was rarely the same dozen. Apart from me and chief, we were a rotating cast of the same characters: always an old-timer, an ox, a vulture, a quisling, and half a dozen shiftless layabouts. Never the same actor, not for long. I remember watching the faces change ever so slightly while the parts remained the same, the same lines spoken around the same table by different people.

We were in Camp F because we’d been captured, but they didn’t think any of us clever or strong or capable enough to try to escape, so they might as well work us until we dropped.

Camp F: Camp Fucked.

My first day it was myself and the ten I’d come to know so well through different people. Plus Chief; he was always sitting nearest the door, a great bear of a man with a long mane of red hair. But he was short-sighted and lame of leg, so they didn’t peg him worth a jot for running or fighting. They herded us into the back of a truck, the canvas doing little to keep the chill off our backs and the cold benches dampening our backsides. The sun wasn’t yet risen, but its light curved over to give the ground a blue hue. Black cabins on blue snow. Silhouettes breathing crystal breaths as we crunched through the barbed wire gates to the waiting vehicle. The camp guards formed a sort of honour guard, their rifles held to their chests as we were marched through – it was a lot of ceremony for us, all pageantry to break us further.

All the long drive to the bridge, I didn’t speak. Someone was complaining – one of the layabouts, I forget his name – but Chief let it run. So long as no one kicked off he didn’t thump anybody, and this guy wasn’t going to say anything about the soldiers. It was early, he was tired, he couldn’t nap on these damp seats with his back against freezing canvas, and he was going to let us know about it until one of the guards told him to shut up. And one of them did, with a pointed look and a slight, threatening raise of the butt of his gun which sent the layabout cringing into the shoulder of his neighbour.

The truck rumbled to a stop. The two guards at the back got off, motioning to Chief. He pointed to Ox, Vulture, and the Old-Timer, and between them they hauled a long crate from the floor of the truck down to the snow. After that we followed on, out into the lightening dawn.

Snow is heavy. When it piles up onto the ice too thick, it stops the icebreaker barges from clearing the river. They get damaged, and that wastes time and resources. Better to have prisoners of war clearing the snow so the boats can do their thing, and trade along the river can continue even in winter. It makes sense, from a certain point of view.

This was to become a routine for the next six weeks. The truck stopped before the bridge, and we would get off and step gingerly onto the river. Once we knew it would take our weight, we’d pass the shovels from the box down the line. Then, all twelve of us would begin to scrape up the snow from the ice, shovelling it onto a tarpaulin behind us. We’d clear a section, drag the tarp to the bank, and pile it up.

We would do this fourteen hours a day, every day, for six weeks.

We would’ve done it for longer, but for me.

-

But we’re not there yet. I haven’t told you about the bridge yet.

It was one of those old stone bridges, the kind with no mortar between the stones. It was just a well-constructed arch which went over a fairly small river – deep enough to drown in if you were careless, but you could practically walk along it if you were on tiptoes. I don’t know how they got barges up and down it, it twisted fiercely after the bridge. But maybe I was seeing things even at that point.

The bridge was old – I asked the Old-Timer about it, and he told me it’d been standing since before there was a village. People had needed to get over the river, and they’d built a bridge at this spot. They didn’t bother with mortar – they’d built a foundation of fill like any drystone wall, and they’d arched it over the river with carefully cut stones. The keystones still hung down, a little weathered, their longer tapers breaking the perfect semicircle formed by the bridge over the river. Every day, as we worked, the sun would rise through the arch, glaring off the snow and, if we were unlucky, blinding us. But if we were lucky, it would give us a glimpse of another world…

But I shouldn’t talk about that yet.

The only sound was the crunch of our shovels against the snow. Occasionally you could hear the guards in the distance, gathering around for a smoke break and chatting – their guns were always on their shoulders, so we still did not try anything. As a rule, we didn’t talk as we worked; it was a waste of energy.

That rule was broken twice. The first time was a few days into my stint as a digger.

Every night the snow piled up, and every night the river froze over anew. The icebreaker barges never got very far, and we were fighting a losing battle. This time I was between one of the layabouts and Chief, and I was enjoying the blessed silence as I dug. There was nothing like silence to mask the passage of time.

===

EXCERPT 2: THE REVISED VERSION

The only sounds were the crunch of our shovels in the snow, the click of the guards’ rifles as they swayed idly, and, if you believe the other diggers, my incessant humming.

Vulture liked to say I’d been shoved into Camp F because my constant noise-making would annoy anyone into leaving me behind if they tried to escape, but it was really a shrapnel mine. The same explosion that had got me caught had shredded my leg and left me deaf in my right ear, and since then I’d been twice as slow on my feet and half as quick with my wit. But I’d learned; I kept my songs close, try though they might to escape. In Camp F they called me Bard, because I always had a song or a joke on my lips – or, as Vulture liked to say, “because you never quit with the damn singing!”.

There were always twelve of us in Camp F, though most rotated through. The only ones who didn’t were Chief, a big man with long red hair that hung down in curls and lit up his face with a big beard; and myself, though I wasn’t to know that in the early days. The rest of them came and went, a series of sluggish layabouts who could barely hold the shovel mixed with a coterie of archetypes you always got in a work camp: Vulture, so called because he was always picking at the scraps (or needling the dead, and we all might as well have been dead); Ox, the tall and broad-shouldered labourer whose thoughts moved at glacial pace, and who was happier to serve than to lead; the Old-Timer, whichever ancient sage they passed onto the camp because they decided he could work the snow; and one we’ll call Quisling, the ever-present brown-noser who was never there for very long because there was no dissidence in Camp F to report. The closest we came to treason was joking that we were in Camp F because we were so thoroughly Fucked: Not dead enough to get out of hard labour, but too dead to think of escaping.

And so we were driven in the back of a rickety truck with four guards watching over us, with another truck for escort, to a bridge outside a village in a quiet part of the country, where we were given some not-very-good gloves and a shovel, and we shovelled snow from the icy surface of the river. We cleared the snow in the morning so that by the afternoon, the icebreaker barges could carve up the frozen surface to make way for the trade boats to head down to the sea.

It was useless work, because we were there every day. We shovelled the snow onto a tarp, and when we judged the tarp to be full we’d drag it to the bank and tip it onto the snow already piled high there. While the twelve of us did this, shivering and hating every minute of it, the guards watched us from the banks and from the bridge, hating it just as much.

The river, when not coated in a blanket of thick snow, was a glassy blue which shifted hues and danced with sunbeams as you watched, like looking through a kaleidoscope. It ran in a gentle, meandering path under a drystone bridge in rust-red and moss-green. I don’t know what kind of local clay they used, but it marked the whole town out like a blood clot. When I got out of the truck I’d always look over to see it, this wound jutting from the fresh white terrain. It was picture perfect – I wondered if the bombs would ever reach it, if the war would ever be something for them other than the greycoated guards on their bridge and the funny men in overalls shovelling snow from their river.

When the sun rose on the days we dug, it rose through the bridge. If we had been able to clear the snow fast enough for the barges to break the ice through to it, we might have seen a perfect circle – the arch of the bridge feeding into the slope of the bank beneath, which all curved into the river. We could’ve watched the sun rise from the bridge, and perhaps ridden it up and away from this place. But we could not – could never – be fast enough.

There was only one rule while we were digging, and it was a rule Chief enforced with violence. He enforced it to me on my first day.

I was listening to the shovel scraping against the ice. The wooden handle was old and damp and splintered, and it bit into my hand and raised welts which I wouldn’t feel until we returned to the prison camp and I warmed them up under my armpits. The gloves were thin and almost worn through, which made keeping a grip difficult, and meant I lost feeling in my hands within the first hour. The rest of our clothes weren’t much better – the overalls were not meant for outdoor work, and so the legs got soaked from the snow and the back got soaked from my sweat, and that moisture would freeze and making movement difficult, except in an awkward stiff-legged stoop; and the shoes were once good, solid leather with wool outers, but now the wood was threadbare and the leather had holes, and the rough, thick socks soaked up the moisture they let in with wild abandon, chilling the toes and leading to sores, if not outright frostbite. We’d been out there some three hours – I’d lost all feeling in my hands and feet, and the numbness was just starting to turn into a dull ache in my toes, and Vulture was muttering another jibe about my tuneless humming, when I heard the song.

I don’t usually hear things, not well. But this came through the heart. I paused in my digging, consumed by it, for the sound of it ached in my chest and I long to hear who was singing it.

The song went like this:

The last leaf has died

And the birds head for warmer climes.

But here I must remain

To reckon with my crimes.

To desire to feel

The wind and the sun on my skin;

For this solemn wish

The brambles grow thick and trap me within.

I am stuck with thorns,

How much must I bleed for you?

I am stuck with thorns,

My wings are staked wide for you.

I am stuck with thorns,

The brambles grow thick and trap me within.

I stood entranced to hear it. The others around me shook their head and groaned, all except a few; they tried to keep digging, but the few of us who had never heard this before did not know this ritual, we were drawn to the arch of the bridge, from beneath which the song came.

The voice was high and mournful. It seemed to carry from far away, and persisted even as the wind picked up. The guards looked around, rifles in hands – behind us, the barge trembled in the unstilled waters, rocking towards the bank.

I was utterly under the spell of the voice. I heard guns cocking around me as I dropped the shovel, walked towards the bridge. There was shouting behind me, my fellow prisoners, but in that moment I felt unable to do anything other than walk towards the bridge, towards the voice that dwelt within.

I made it two faltering steps before Chief’s shovel caught me at ankle height, and I tumbled head first into the snow. The cold shock burned my face and brought me back to reality; I came up gasping as a fist balled up the back of my jacket and dragged me to my knees. Chief laid a heavy hand on my shoulder and glowered into my eyes with a fearful intensity.

‘One rule, Bard!’ he barked. ‘Don’t listen to the music! Don’t let it in! Just dig your patch and block it out.’ I stared back into those eyes, so filled with fear, and I wondered what could have engendered such emotion in Chief.

As I made to stand, with his help, a sharp report made us both flinch and turn to look. One of the other new inmates, having been craftier than me or more reckless, or simply surrounded by less prudent prisoners, had used my fall as a distraction to run for the bridge himself. He’d made it halfway before the guard at the top of the bridge trained arms on him and fired. Now he lay spread-eagled in the snow, unmoving, unseeing, melting the snow and staining the ice a rich, dark red. I stared at the body, somehow jealous – he’d gotten so much farther than I had. Had we been hearing the same song? Had he been drawn to the bridge, as I had? I hoped that he heard it even as he lay dying – how beautiful, to hear such a sound as you die. As we returned to our digging, I thought I could die happy if only I heard that voice lit up in song once again.

The sun rose. Being a man down, our day ended up being longer than most; we finally got finished as the sun reached its feeble peak, our hands bloodied and our feet stinging with pins and needles. Breathlessly we dumped the spades into the crate and hauled ourselves aboard the truck. As I pulled myself onto the footplate, I paused to catch my breath, and my eyes lingered over the body which had been moved to the far bank. Vulture squatted in front of it, going through its pockets, until a guard barked an order at him raised the butt of his rifle. Cringing, Vulture made his awkward, hopping run back to our group. The remaining eleven of us sat in silence on the way back, most staring at the floor, though I kept my wary eyes on Vulture.

He returned my gaze levelly, as though he’d done nothing wrong.

===

So that's the two versions. Obviously I'm biased, but I can clearly see the difference. I find the first version so disjointed and muddled, it reflects my mental state when I was trying to write, disliking what I'd written because I knew it made no sense. I was trying to do everything at once, and I think it showed.

The second version is much more streamlined, I'd come in with an idea of what I was trying to say and how I was trying to show it. It takes a little longer, and it tells more of the story, but mainly it shows what's going on clearly.

Which I think is sorely needed for an opening.

[ghost-proofbaby]

hi ghost i just got back from my day with my guy! im sorry to hear about eddie-coded guy 😔 hopefully you'll find someone more for you and more eddie-coded.

here is how everything the last few days went

so he visited me at work! He told me afterwards that he didn't tell me when exactly he was coming bc he wanted to surprise me 🥺 and i just followed him around for the 15 minutes he was there full on heart eyes 😂 but he got a coffee and he kept telling me how good it was 😂 and i got a hug before he left and it made working alone at night at a gas station as a 23 year old girl a little better bc i had that to remember if I died 🙃

But today I went to his house so we could go out to eat and all that. He gave me this cat crochet kit he bought for me 🥺 and when we came back I tried to teach him how to crochet and he managed a few chains but I think the hook was too small to properly teach him so I told him that I'd bring a bigger hook next time (he was like are you saying I'm too small and I'm like STOP OMG)

Well we went out to eat and we went to Barnes and Noble and looked at the music and the legos and I kept pointing out all the books I read. He lost me for a few minutes and he found me at the smutty romance section 🤦‍♀️ I pointed out icebreaker by hannah grace and was like I read that and he was like ooo there's hockey in it and I'm like Yes. Hockey. Just hockey in that book. 👀

On the drive back to his house we kept poking each other and he's like I think you're hitting on me and I said maybe and we kept poking each other and I ended up stealing his hat from him and wearing it for the ride back until he stole it back from me and then I stole it again 🤷🏻‍♀️

OH ALSO I made him and his family pumpkin chocolate chip cookies since they're always giving me stuff and I told him he wasn't allowed to die when he ate them bc he has diabetes. His mom liked the cookies. He said he was saving his for his lunch at work tomorrow so I'm expecting a review lol

We built Legos again big surprise and I kept telling him I was going to take one of his cats home with me and he said I wasn't allowed and I said well what if I trade one of my cats for her and he asked if he could have my cat (who is currently sleeping on my chest bc 7 hours without me is just too much for her 😂) and I was like no can't have that one if you take her I'm coming with her it's a package deal and he was like I'm okay with that 🥺 and he said that he and his cat are a package deal and I was being distracted by pictures of my cats on my phone lol so I didn't respond right away and he was like wow no response to that okay 😂

And he invited me to this Halloween party he's going to on Saturday but I work until 7 and I'm heavily debating calling off I mean no I'm not 👀 like do i have a costume? No. Can I get one that quickly? Possibly. Is there a high possibility I may end up kissing him for the first time while he is wearing a costume of kevin the bird from the movie up? Yeah probably. Am I okay with that? Yeah cause it's my fault he even got the costume in the first place 😂

And not to sound like a mega virgin again but when I left his house tonight he hugged me and he rubbed my back and the sweater I was wearing has this twist in the back so it's mostly just my bare back and OOF he touched my bare back and OOF 🫠

And also when I told him that I'd be working again alone tomorrow 🙃 he said he might try to visit me after he gets off work and I was like listen even just the prospect of you possibly coming to visit makes my day suck less 🤷🏻‍♀️

ALSO WHY HASNT HE KISSED ME YET GHOST! I KEEP THINKING HE WANTS TO! BUT I DON'T REALLY WANNA GO FOR IT CAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW! NEVER KISSED ANYONE BEFORE! DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I'M DOING!

I was really gonna try to hold his hand in the car but I chickened out 🙃 and then I was gonna try to kiss his cheek when I was leaving but I forgot about the plan when he hugged me 🙃 so that's my life. Gonna text him and ask when the party is Saturday if I can still work and go to it. Or I might just *cough* come down with something *cough*

Love, 🎸 anon ❤️

OH I MISSED THIS ONE BEFORE I ANSWERED THE OTHER ONE FUCK i still stand by y’all being way too damn cute 😭

as for why he hasn’t kissed you yet — i want to let you in on a major secret. he is probably just as nervous if not MORE SO. whenever guys struggle to make a move, they’re usually behind the scenes freaking out and over thinking it all just as you might be! especially when everything is as reciprocated as it has been between you two. i have no doubt based on the message i accidentally answered first tho that now that y’all have joked about it, it’ll happen!! i pinky swear!! 🖤

as for eddie-coded guy… life goes on 😅 i’m back on dating apps tho!! if anything this has taught me to get back into the dating world haha. i’ll find someone eventually, and until then, i’ll just keep writing in an attempt to manifest 😪

[opaljm]

I miss you, how have you been? 🌟

Omg hello. I have been okay. Kinda stressed cuz I went to the doctor and they took even more blood tests and gave me even more prescriptions so now I'm up to 12 different pills a day. Which is a little annoying to schedule in because some of them have to be taken an hour before eating, right before I eat, or with food. Others have to be taken with certain liquids (orange juice) or are totally ineffective if I drink certain liquids (milk) within a two hour window that I've taken the pill. And lastly we have some pills that cannot be taken in tandem with each other so I need to space those out.

But that's just life. I'm applying for grad school right now, I dont have a specific master I've got my heart set on so I'm applying to a couple of different programs at schools I like. I'm tbh sticking to completely online programs because I can't deal with working and doing school at the same time and having in person classes.

I'm also currently planning my winter time off with friends and family. I think I might do a couple of trips so that's fun.

Oh and I have been reading A LOT. I keep reading popular booktok books expecting it to be good but its not 😭 (cough Icebreaker, cough Twisted Love, cough The Sweetest Oblivion, cough If He Had Been With Me). I will say though I recently read all of Throne of Glass and I enjoyed that.

Oh and unfortunately I have been infatuated with Henry Cavill and he's taking over my mind. Like its so bad, I will literally watch movies just because hes in it. And like the warner brothers Justice League movies are so bad 😭😭😭. Like he's just so big and so tall. His muscles make me scream and his blue eyes are so 😍 they pierce into my soul and sometimes when he looks into a camera I almost blush cuz its too intense. His good looks make me almost forget all his red flags its so bad out here.

Lastly, I've been on a couple of dates with this guy and it didn't turn into anything but it made me realize I don't want to date millennial men OR gen z men like it just sounds so hellish. I've identified that I am really only okay with guys who are cuspers and that that's when I get along with them the most and we have the most in common. So now my dating age group has dwindled down to men born in between 1995 and 1999 🤪 but like I wanna say the second half of 1995 and the first half of 1999

Wow, that was really long. Still I hope you enjoyed hearing what I've been up to.

And I'm really sorry, like I barely have the energy to do work and errands and other life stuff that I can't take on the weight of writing. Having chronic issues is just a bitch. I hope that I can one day figure out how to insert writing into my life again. I hope you guys understand 🩵🩵🩵

[lpetersonwrites]

If I may add:

I suggest you check out Make Room for Love by Darcy Liao immediately. The main pairing is Mira, a biracial (South Asian and Ashkenazi Jewish) bisexual femme trans woman, and Isabel, a Chinese American butch lesbian. It's a roommates-of-convenience-to-lovers arc, and Mira is a grad student organizing to try to unionize the grad students at her university, while Isabel is a union electrician, so there's a lot of labor solidarity stuff too. I read it a couple weeks ago and it's so good.

Most Ardently by Gabe Cole Novoa is a trans/gay retelling of Pride and Prejudice, in which the second Bennet child is a trans guy and Darcy is gay. It's fantastic.

Hockey Bois by AL Heard is an M/M hockey romance, published by @duckprintspress. I really liked it!

A Lady for a Duke by Alexis Hall is a historical romance featuring a trans woman who was presumed dead in the Napoleonic wars and seized the opportunity to transition. The love interest is her childhood best friend, who doesn't know she has transitioned and is wracked by guilt about her supposed death. Delicious angst with a happy ending.

Boyfriend Material and Husband Material are a duology (I think they might actually be the first two books in a trilogy?) also by Alexis Hall, featuring two gay men who fake date and then fall in love for real. The love interest is basically me if I were a cis gay man instead of a biromantic asexual enby. Alexis Hall has my NUMBER.

Be Dazzled by Ryan la Sala is a cute M/M YA romance about cosplay.

The Breakaway series by EL Massey, aka @xiaq, is a series of hockey romances featuring, over the course of four books, two M/M couples and one M/F couple where the woman is trans and bisexual. I LOVE this series.

The Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe duology by Benjamin Alire Saenz is a sweet YA M/M story about two Mexican American boys living in Texas in the '80s. Atmospheric and introspective.

Icebreaker by AL Graziadei is a YA M/M hockey romance about college teammates who are rivals to go first in the NHL draft. Lots of mental health rep that includes the main character making some questionable decisions from a place of depression and anxiety, which may or may not be something you enjoy reading.

If It Makes You Happy by Claire Kann is a polyamorous YA novel about a bisexual Black girl named Winnie in an established QPR with an aromantic white girl named Kara. Winnie winds up at the center of a small-town tradition where competitors vie for her favor, and Kara faces up against a Black boy named Dallas, and eventually Winnie picks them both. I haven't read many published books about polyamory, and holy cow, this one pulls it off.

Let's Talk about Love, also by Claire Kann, is about a young Black woman named Alice working at the library for the summer and falling for her Japanese American male coworker named Takumi. Alice is asexual biromantic, and the book starts with her being dumped by her ace-phobic white girlfriend. So the main relationship is M/F, but Alice's queerness is explored in a decent amount of detail.

Book Boyfriend by Kris Ripper is an M/NB romance about two college roommates who have been pining for each other for years and are now roommates again several years post-college due to one of them breaking up with their live-in partner and needing a place to live. The protagonist is spectacularly self-centered and un-self-aware, which can get annoying, but the book uses this to explore how it would actually feel to be on the receiving end of a romantic grand gesture (spoiler: embarrassed and not good!).

The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun is an M/M romance about an autism-coded disgraced tech entrepreneur (but not an Elon Musk type! He's sweet and anxious and awkward and got kicked out of his company by his backstabbing ex-best friend) who goes on a reality dating show (basically The Bachelor) to try to humanize himself in the eyes of the public. Only he realizes during the process that he's gay and falling in love with the show's producer who's been assigned to be his handler. Full disclosure, I didn't love this book, but a lot of people are big fans.

The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee is a YA historical fantasy M/M romance about a young British nobleman, his biracial best friend, and his bookish younger sister on a Grand Tour of Europe that goes horribly awry (like, suddenly-we're-internationally-wanted-criminals-by-accident awry). The protagonist can be annoying at first, but I found it really rewarding to keep going with this particular book. This is actually the first book in a series about this family, but the other two aren't really queer romances--his little sister, the protagonist of book two, is aroace, though she winds up in kind of a situationship (?) with another woman, and their younger brother, the protagonist of book three, is straight.

Can't Take That Away is a YA book about a nonbinary high schooler who wants to sing and do musical theater. I'd classify it as a coming-of-age story more than a romance, but there is a romantic subplot, which is of course queer.

The Simon Snow Series by Rainbow Rowell is a fantasy trilogy with an M/M romance at the center of it. I personally vastly preferred the first book, so you have my permission to only read that one (it's called Carry On).

An Absolutely Remarkable Thing and A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor make up the Carls duology by Hank Green. They're primarily a saving-the-world sci fi story, but the main character is a bisexual woman, and the love interest is also a woman.

Autoboyography by Christina Lauren is a YA M/M romance about two boys on the cusp of adulthood in Utah. One is non-religious, but the other is the son of a high-ranking Mormon church leader. Pretty interesting look at a very specific cultural experience.

Check, Please! is a comic/graphic novel by @ngoziu that follows a small gay college hockey player who loves to bake and falls for his hockey captain. I'm not usually a comics person, but hot DAMN did this one alter my brain chemistry.

The Simonverse trilogy by Becky Albertalli (Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, The Upside of Unrequited, and Leah on the Offbeat) are a series of linked stories about different queer teenagers navigating life and relationships. They're fun!

Happy reading!

I need book recs!🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

I realized my LGBTQ+ romance shelf is lacking a few pairings, so I need help finding some books. I have many WLW books, a few MLM books. I have one ace lesbian book in my TBR shelf. I have a 2 trans MLM books.

Just this morning, I realized I don't have ANY TRANS LESBIAN BOOKS?! Also, zero butch/butch or even butch/fem books🥺

[love-amihan]

✧ masterlists ✧

JJK MEN WHEN YOUR DRUNK

warning: unedited, mention of alcohol consumption duh??

amihan's note: kinda random dnkdnc not me doing this instead of the wips 😭 happy reading!

mentioned charas: sukuna, nanami kento, gojo satoru, zenin naoya [modern au] soft!men only <33

**please tell me if someone has done this first, i’ll give them credit <33

-sukuna

the pink-haired grunts while keeping you in place, soaking the small towel once again. "stop moving, y/n" his tone serious. you look up at him with doe-like eyes, "you know," you bring up a hand to cup his face.

"you look hot" your words less slurry than before. he hums while wringing the towel, he faces you and lightly pats it on your forehead, adding the right amount of pressure, "yeah? i think so too" he replies with a smug smile.

you giggle and put your index finger in front of your lips, "don't tell my boyfriend though." he raises a brow, his ministration halting, "you shouldn't compliment other men if you have one then."

you shrug at him with your eyes closed, "nothing wrong with complimenting other men. what if it makes a big difference and brightens their day huh?" you say with a cute pout.

"well i can't argue with that but isn't it weird you're out here calling someone else hot?" he leans back, smirking while watching you go through all emotion in clear amusement.

"but!" you let out a exasperated sigh, "if i say your hot then that would make my boyfriend the hottest! compliments doesn't mean i'm attracted to you," you mumble your last sentence, slowly falling asleep due to your eyes being closed.

"what if i were take it as a green signal to hit on you?" he continues to distract you, wanting to at least sober you up. "well you're dumb," you say unfiltered as sukuna chuckles at your statement.

"i would kindly ask you to back off as i've already informed you i have a boyfriend, thank you very much" you politely say while gently bopping your head.

"don't move your head too much, brat" he mutters, holding you still by your jaw. "hey! he's the only one allowed to call me that!" you complain, huffing at his statement.

-nanami kento

kento sighs, “your a menace, you aware of that?” he mutters while replacing your outfit with a more comfortable one. you giggle and nod at his words, “you’re not the first to tell me.”

the statement makes him raise a brow, “oh? who might the other one be?” you look back at him before exaggeratedly making a shushing noise, “promise me you won’t tell anyone,” you whisper, leaning closer to him as if someone would hear.

you hold out your pinky finger at him, “promise first before i tell you,” you say with your eyes scrutinizing his every move. kento’s lips turns up to a fond smile, following your actions. locking his pinky finger with you, “there.”

you take a moment, scanning his face before proceeding, all of a sudden serious with the situation. you straighten up and clear your throat, “his name is nanami kento.”

kento hums, leaning to his palm, intrigued by what'll slip past your pretty lips next. “him? anything you can say about the guy?” you immediately nod your head to his question.

”he‘s this grumpy dude. if i didn’t know him better i would’ve mistaken him as an old man!” kento is about to put a stop in your hurtful description when he's cut off by your next words, “despite all that, i love him with all my heart.”

you sigh dreamingly and hug yourself while looking in a distance, “others may view him cold and distant but,” you look back at him, “he’s far different from those!”

kento hums letting you spill your feelings out. it’s one way to sober you totally not because it boosts his ego while offering water in between stories.

-gojo satoru

satoru is aware of how others are sure that being drunk is basically like injecting a truth serum. he takes advantage of it, asking you question after question, eager to know the questions he's been holding back.

he's cheeky and subtle with it, concealing it behind simple icebreaker questions. "how was the night out with your friends, baby?" you frown and look at him while holding a hand up, signing him a 'hold up'. "baby?" you repeat after him.

"oh, aha, my bad, slipped my mind," he nervously chuckles, cold sweat glistening against his forehead. he haven't started and he's already busted? "back off, i already have an annoying boyfriend."

satoru was about to complain when you continue your little speech, "my hands are already full with that man-child. i would appreciate it if you do back off," you say while standing on your own feet, wobbling in the process.

blue eyes scans your figure, watching both in amusement and in awe. you cross your arms over your chest and glare at him, "off with your hands," you slur out while pointing at satoru's hand around your waist.

satoru can't help but give in, a silly smile playing on his lips, "baby, i got you. you don't remember calling me to pick you up?" he informs you while reaching out for your hands.

you continue to glare at him, doubting every words he utters while he continues to ensure you that he is your boyfriend.

satoru may not have gotten to test this truth serum theory but he will definitely do the next time you decide to drink yourself silly again.

-zenin naoya

naoya is far from fond on taking care of someone. but seeing you helpless without him has some of his heartstring pulled.

"come on now, can't even handle a little alcohol?" naoya teases keeping a firm grip around your waist, fully supporting your weight. you snort and throw your head back, "pfft, t'was nothing. i'm perfectly fine!" you drag out your words while exaggeratedly doing hand gestures.

"yeah? sure 'bout that?" he asks, having fun on riling you up. "of course!" you reply with confidence. naoya smirks and lets you go, standing by the side with his arms on his hips, watching as your wobble around.

all of a sudden feeling your weight, you feel your legs become jelly as you desperately reach out to him for support. "aww look at you not being able to do anything without me," he coos.

"mean naoya, mean" you mutter under your breath while his hands comes back from where they were before, "you saying something, sweetheart?" you smile up to him and shake your head.

"nothing. just.. i love you," your voice that is full of sincerity catches him off-guard. he clears his throat and looks ahead, holding your close to his side.

naoya's arrogant nature faltering as he meekly replies to you, "i know."

copyright © 2021 by love-amihan all rights reserved. do not repost in other platforms. reblogs are welcome and highly appreciated! <33

[diaphragmjellyfish]

What Did I Miss?

So this blog has grown a ton in the last couple of months. Going into this year, I had maybe 15 followers. Now, I’m at 100. That might not seem like a lot to some of you, but to me, that’s 100 people who love my writing. 100 people who find comfort and joy in the things I put out there. And it means so much to me <3 I always wanted to be a writer, but always felt like I got lost in the sea of content. I couldn’t come up with anything original or anything that would get noticed. And then I started writing for Cobra Kai. It’s a pretty small fandom so anything put out there gets seen. Then, I started writing what I wanted to read. Vaginismus smut/ general feminist fics are a niche that has almost no writers, but so many of you have sent me private messages saying how much those fics mean to you. So, to honor all 100 of my new followers, I have combined my two genres. I now present to you… Eli Moskowitz x vaginismus!reader. I hope you love it! 

You have been doing your physical therapy for about a year now. It was a long process, full of ups and downs, good days and bad days, but you were proud to say you were done! The biggest dilator could be easily inserted with the right amount of lube. It made you feel more...normal. Let’s just say, you weren’t exactly the most popular girl in school. People didn’t notice you. And when they did, it was “who’s that shy girl that hangs out with those losers?” Yup. Your best friends, Demitri and Eli, were the only people you really felt comfortable around at school. You found each other back in elementary school, because everyone else was making friends and running around on the playground, while you three just wanted to stay inside and play board games. So you weren’t cool, which you were okay with. But being diagnosed with vaginismus a year ago after almost passing out trying to put in a tampon had made you feel like even more of a freak. You couldn’t do the one thing girls were wanted for. You’d be alone forever. 

But it was over. You could have sex. At least, you thought you’d be able to. You never actually tried before. What if it put you right back to square one? What if you totally embarrassed yourself in front of a guy you liked? These thoughts zipped through your mind at the speed of light, faster than you could keep up with, when something snapped you back into reality. 

“Y/N?” Eli asked timidly. You guys were hanging out in his basement waiting for Demitri to show up so you could start your Lord Of The Rings marathon. Your head snapped up, eyes locking with his. 

“Yeah? Sorry,” you laughed awkwardly. You had been thinking about sex while hanging out with Eli. That wasn’t cool. 

He studied your face for a second. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah! Yeah, everything is fine. Is everything okay… with you?” You questioned back, trying to play it cool. 

“Umm, yeah. You’ve just been spacing out a lot today.” You were about to make up a reply when his phone buzzed on the coffee table in front of you guys. He reached over to pick it up, scanning the screen before letting out a soft sigh. “Demitri’s mom is making him repaint their kitchen. He’s not gonna be here until 9.” He looked at your face at this for a reaction. 9 o’clock.  It was 7 right now. That left you with 2 hours to be alone, here, with Eli. There weren’t many times where it had been just the two of you. Demitri was always there as a talkative icebreaker, and you hadn’t truly appreciated it until now. It was getting awkward. 

You both sat there quietly, staring at the black TV. Neither of you were very talkative people. This was probably what it was going to be like the first time you tried to have sex with someone. Awkward, quiet, and the guy would probably leave when he realized he had to be beyond gentle because of your vaginismus. Yeah, you were thinking about sex a lot lately. But you’d just finished your therapy, so of course you were wondering about all the possibilities now. 

“Y/N,” Eli spoke, this time making you jump a little. You had been spacing out again. “Are you sure you’re okay? Do you want me to drive you home?” 

“No! I mean, thanks, but I’m okay. Just have a lot on my mind today,” you laughed shyly. 

“Wanna talk about it?” he asked hesitantly. 

A pause. You definitely were not about to tell Eli about all your vagina problems, but you were itching to vent your concerns. Maybe you could just phrase it in a way so that he wouldn’t know what you were talking about. 

“I- I kind of have this thing.” You looked up at him, gaging his reaction. He was listening intently, no sign that he was about to say anything, so you kept going. “Basically, I’ve been doing physical therapy to fix it for the last year, and I’m finally done. So I’ve just been thinking about… all the things I can do now. I mean now that I’m… healed.”  

Sensing that you were done, he asked, “You seem nervous about it.” 

“I mean yeah. It kind of opens me up to a whole new world of experiences. But I still need to, I guess be careful? Take it slow. And I’m worried people might not want to… be a part of it.” 

He nodded, thinking about what you had just said. He was wildly confused, you had never seemed injured before, but he didn’t want to push you to talk.

So instead, he just said “Well I’ll always be here for you. Anything you want me to be a part of, I’m down.”

You thought about this. Eli was so understanding and supportive. He always had been. If you couldn’t tell him, you couldn’t tell any guy. Maybe this would be good practice for the conversation you’d inevitably have to have with someone. 

“Thanks. You kind of can’t be a part of it, though. I mean, it’s just really… personal.” He didn’t seem hurt by this, so you decided to let him in. “It’s kind of hard to talk about. Basically, it just causes me a lot of pain whenever I try to... “ you made some unintelligible hand gestures, hoping he would get what you meant without you having to say the word. He just shook his head no, showing that he didn’t understand. “Like, whenever I put something… inside.” You blushed deeply at this, giving Eli another hint about what you might mean. You were staring at the floor. He said nothing, and when you looked back up at him, he too was bright red. “Sorry. I’m probably making you really uncomfortable. I can just go and come back later when Demi-” 

“Y/N, it’s okay. You don’t have to go.” 

A pause. “Okay,” you replied. 

“You said that you were.... Healed. So does that mean you can, like, do stuff now?” he was still staring at the floor, fiddling with his hands as he said this. 

“Technically, yeah. I just still need to like… take it slow. And I guess I’m just nervous that no guy is gonna want to have to deal with that.”

“Well then they’re stupid,” he scoffed. You looked up at him, shocked at his little show of emotion. “Sorry. I just mean that, I know what it’s like to feel like no one will ever want you like that. And it’s dumb. You’re really cool. And smart, and funny… and pretty. And if there’s a guy that doesn’t want you just because he’s gonna have to be gentle, well he’s a grade-A asshole.” 

You laughed loudly at this, which made Eli smile at you. “Thanks. That’s really sweet of you to say,” you smiled. “And if you’re talking about your scar when you say you know what it feels like, don’t worry about that. You’re totally cute and any girl would be lucky to kiss you.” His earlier words had you feeling bold, so you figured you would compliment him back. Guys almost never got compliments, especially quiet guys like Eli, so you felt like it was important to give him the same kindness he had given you. He turned so red, he looked like he wasn’t breathing. 

“That’s not true. I mean, thanks for being nice, but no girl at school has ever wanted to kiss me.” 

Well, here’s your chance. You guys were in his basement alone, the lights were turned down, and you guys just had a super personal conversation. So you went for it. “I can think of one girl who would be honored,” you whispered into the dimly-lit room. 

You could feel his head snap up at this. You were staring at the TV again, but his gaze was piercing. The air was thick, so you turned your head to look at him. He was in awe, looking at you like you were the warm sun on the first day of spring. You guys had been sitting on opposite ends of the couch, but you scooted close to the middle. Eli looked panicked, but pushed it away, swallowing hard before scooting to meet you. He was practically shaking with nerves. Were you really about to kiss him? In answer, you looked down at his lips, then back up at his eyes. You slowly leaned in, Eli frozen in place, scared to ruin the moment. Your lips barely touched his, being sure to ghost over his scar, before you pulled away a few inches and opened your eyes. You smiled at him, and once he realized that you had just kissed him on purpose and liked it… 

You gasped as he brought his hand up to cup your cheek, leaning back in to kiss you again, slightly deeper this time. His lips were soft, but firm. He tasted like cherry chapstick and the coca cola he’d been drinking. This wasn’t your first kiss, but you knew it was his. You knew you would have to lead. So, you brought your hands up around his neck and swiped your tongue lightly over his bottom lip. You heard him sigh, and then felt him open his mouth as his tongue met yours. Sure, it was his first kiss, but damn he was a natural. Shortly after this, you pulled away again. 

“Woah,” he said, looking at you with a twinkle in his eye.

“Woah,” you parroted with a giggle. 

“Thanks,” he said awkwardly. You laughed at this, throwing your head back. 

“You don’t have to thank me, Eli. I wanted to.” There was a beat of silence as he rubbed his thumb over your cheek. 

He said honestly, “Well I kind of feel bad now. You helped me with my problem but I didn’t help you with yours.” Your smile dropped, thinking about what he was implying. “Wait, I didn’t mean it like that! I swear I’m not trying to like take advantage of you or something. I just meant that-” 

“I know what you meant. It’s fine.”  You smiled again. You knew Eli would never try to convince you to have sex with him like that. Seeing him flounder reminded you of how sweet he really was. The kind of guy you hoped you would be able to have sex with one day. “Honestly, I’ll probably just do it to get it over with. And if it hurts, I’ll just go back to therapy, and if not, great. But the anticipation is kind of killing me.” 

“Oh… well you should still do it with someone who cares about you. I mean, it’s your choice, but don’t just pick some random guy who’s not gonna care if he hurts you.” Eli was so heartfelt when he said this, you could have cried. He actually understood. And cared. And the moment was pretty intimate. 

“So you’re saying I should do it with a nice guy.”

“Well, yeah,” he responded as if it was obvious. 

“Are you a nice guy, Eli?”

He was quiet, thinking about all the meaning behind that simple sentence. After a few seconds, he nodded. You leaned back in to kiss him again, this time with much more passion. He took initiative this time, being the first to swipe his tongue over your lip and into your mouth. His hands moved from your face to your waist, supporting you when you moved to straddle his lap. You guys made out like this for a while, lost in the feeling of each other’s lips. When you finally pulled away, you were both breathing hard. 

“Wait, wait,” he stopped you from moving back in. “Are we doing this right now?” 

“Do you not want to?” you felt a pang of rejection at this. Making to move off his lap. He grabbed you firmly by the hips. 

“Are you seriously asking me that question? The girl I’ve had a crush on since 3rd grade is sitting in my lap making out with me right now. Of course I’m into it.” You smiled at this. “I guess I just feel like I want to know more about your… thing first. I don’t want to hurt you.” You were definitely making the right choice here. Eli was so genuinely kind, you knew for sure in that moment you wanted to do this with him. 

“Okay. It’s a condition called vaginismus. Basically, my pelvic muscles get super tight as like a reflex whenever I try to… do anything. And that makes it super painful,” you explained. 

He nodded in understanding before asking, “And the physical therapy? How does that work?”

“Well, there are these things called dilators,” you blushed at this. “They come in a bunch of different sizes. You start with the smallest one, and just condition your body to relax while you put it in. And when you can do it with no pain, you move up to the next size. The smallest one is like the size of my pinky, and the biggest one is like… you know.” 

“A dick?” He asked as you both laughed. 

“Yeah.” 

There was a beat of silence before he looked at you in a way that said he was completely committed. “What do you need me to do?” he asked. You felt yourself tear up a little at this. Ever since you got diagnosed, you always imagined perfect scenarios in your head in which the guy you were with asked you that question. Of course, you always believed it would stay a fantasy. No guy would realistically care this much. But it turns out there was a guy, and he was right in front of you your entire life. You leaned in and gave him a sweet kiss, which caught him a little off-guard. 

You then leaned back and began to explain. “Usually when I do my therapy, I’ll start with some breathing exercises. And then get my dilator and some lube and just kind of, sink down on it? And then I just stay there for as long as I can. Obviously sex involves a lot more movement, which is kind of the part I’m nervous about.” 

“We can go super slow. And if it ever hurts, even a little bit, I want you to tell me, okay?”

You nodded. “Are you sure you want to? I know you just had your first kiss and I want to make sure you’re ready, too.” 

“I’m ready. I hope this doesn’t make you uncomfortable, but I’ve actually imagined this situation before… a lot,” he murmured the last part. 

You laughed, and awe’d at his cuteness. “As long as you’re sure.” 

“I’m sure.” 

He leaned in to kiss you again, starting slow and building in intensity. Once the kiss got heated, you grabbed his hands that were still lightly gripping your hips, and moved them down to cup your ass. He inhaled sharply and squeezed. You moved your hands from his neck down to his chest, sliding lower and lower until they were at the hem of his shirt, and then under to his bare stomach. He shivered, and then kneaded your ass harder. 

“Can I take this off?” you asked, tugging at his shirt. He nodded and leaned forward so you could pull the hem up and over his head, his hands only leaving you for a second before they resumed their previous position. 

Your own hands roamed his chest, before he slid his hands under your shirt, silently asking for you to take it off as well. Wordlessly, you reached down, gripped the bottom and pulled it off, Eli’s eyes going straight to your bra. 

“I would have worn something a little cuter if I thought we’d-”

“You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen,” he cut you off. Your face turned bright red as you smiled down at your lap. “Hey,” he said as his thumb came to your chin to lift your face back up. And then he kissed you again, sucking lightly at your bottom lip, eliciting a soft sigh from you. You started to lightly grind your hips into his, and you could immediately feel that he was already hard. His hands gripped your ass firmly, helping to guide your movements. You felt a slight pleasure between your legs, so began to grind down harder, Eli moving his own hips back up into yours. His length brushed a certain spot that made you let out a small, involuntary moan. You slapped your hand over your mouth, eyes wide. He smiled, bringing his hand up to move yours off your mouth, and grinding into you even harder, with a new sense of excitement. He moved back in, but instead of bringing his lips to yours, he brought them to your neck, licking and sucking softly. You felt a rush of heat flow through you at this, never imagining that neck kisses would feel so good. 

“Oh, wow,” you whispered. You felt him smile- no, smirk, against your neck. Then, he moved one of his hands to your stomach, lightly brushing his knuckles across the skin, before untying your sweatpants. This excited you. He slowly brought his hand under the waistband, giving you plenty of time to tell him to stop. You didn’t, and he eventually felt the fabric of your underwear, opting to stay on top of them. He rubbed your center with one of his fingers clumsily. Eli obviously had never done this before, so you did your best to move your hips on his hand to try and give him the idea of what you wanted. He seemed nervous though, and didn’t really get the hint. 

“Small circles,” you instructed breathlessly. He brought his face out of your neck, furrowing his brows in concentration. He moved his fingers like you said in small circles on your left lip. You wanted to giggle, but didn’t want to hurt his feelings, opting for bringing your hand into your pants on top of his and guiding it to the right spot, moving his fingers in tight circles with slightly more pressure than he had been using right over your clit. You moaned softly at this, closing your eyes and furrowing your brows. Eli looked at you with an adorable excitement, proud that he was able to get you to make that sound, and knew that he wanted to hear it again. He got the hang of it pretty fast, and didn’t need your hand for guidance anymore, keeping the same pace and rhythm that you had shown him. 

“Oh my god, Eli,” you whispered softly in his ear, hips grinding against his hand once again. 

“Fuck,” he whispered back, more turned on than he had ever been just from watching you. At this, you brought one of your hands down to cup him through his pants. He hissed, sitting up straighter. His jeans made it hard for you to do much, though, so you said huskily, “Do you want to take them off?” He nodded, and you stood up and took your sweatpants off as he unbuttoned his jeans and slipped them off his legs. When he looked back at you, he saw that you were taking off your underwear too, so he did as well. 

Once he was naked and you were left in just a bra, he tentatively asked you, “Should I… get a condom?” 

You had completely forgotten about protection! That was pretty important, so you responded, “Yeah, do you have one?” 

“They handed them out in health class last month,” he said nervously, answering your implied question which was Why do you have one? He stood up, walking into his room through the doorway in the basement, returning shyly with a small silver packet. You were kneeling on the couch awkwardly, not really sure what to do, when he raked his eyes over your body. There was almost a predatory look in his eyes, one that you had never seen before in Eli. A sign of confidence hidden deep down. He suddenly stopped, as if realizing something, and said “I’ll be right back,” before running upstairs butt-naked. Thank God no one else was home! He returned with a jar of coconut oil in his hand. “I know you said you normally use lube, and I don’t really have any of that, so I thought we could use this? Or I can run to CVS and get some if you want, it’s up to you!” He added that last part hurriedly. 

You took the jar from him, opening it and gathering a small amount on your fingers before rubbing them together, testing the substance. “This should work just fine, thank you.” 

(Guys please don’t use oil as lube, it can break down the condom! Sorry for the 4th wall break!)

He looked at you for guidance, questioning, “So, how do you want to do this?” 

You looked around for a second, before deciding “You can sit down again. I think I want to be on top. Just so I have more control and stuff.” He nodded understandingly and went to sit back down on the couch, holding his hands out to you as you straddled his hips once more. 

“This?” he asked as he brought his hand up to your bra strap, slipping it down your shoulder in a wordless plea to take it off, which is exactly what you did. When your breasts were exposed, you thought Eli’s eyes were going to pop out of his head. He never thought he’d see actual boobs one day, and here they were, right in his face, attached to his naked crush who was sitting on his lap. What a day. He brought his hands up to gently cup them, making you smile at his softness.

“Having fun?” you joked. He just looked at you and giggled, nodding his head. You took the condom packet and opened it, sliding the slippery rubber out. “Do you have any idea how to use this?” You questioned with a laugh. 

“Yeah, here,” he took it from you, placing it on the tip of his dick and rolling it down the length, inhaling sharply at the feeling. He reached for the coconut oil once more and took a finger-full, melting it between his hands and spreading it all over the condom, before taking the remainder on his fingers and rubbing softly at your center. He watched your face intently for any signs of discomfort as he did so. When he found none, he brought his pointer and middle finger back to your clit, rubbing circles once again, making you let out a sigh and tip your head back. He did this for several more moments, until your hips began to writhe. 

“Okay,” you said to tell him you were ready to try. 

“Hey, I just wanted to say… please don’t be insecure about anything. Take all the time you need, and if it hurts, we can stop and I won’t be disappointed or anything. I promise. I want you to be comfortable.” 

You kissed him in response, smiling as you pulled away. “Thank you.”

You sat up on your knees, taking his dick in your hand and lining it up with your entrance, rubbing it back and forth to distribute the lubricant. You closed your eyes, taking some deep breaths to relax your muscles, and lightly sank down in his tip. You stopped about an inch in to adjust, before lifting off and sinking back down again, 2 inches this time, before stopping to adjust once more. You kept this up until you could take about half of him comfortably, realizing it was taking a long time. You opened your eyes to look at Eli, and noticed that he had his eyes closed, brows furrowed, jaw clenched, breathing labored. Jesus, he was probably dying right now. 

“I’m sorry,” you muttered, full of embarrassment. His eyes snapped open at this. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” he cooed as he wrapped his arms around your waist, embracing you. “Don’t you dare apologize.”

“It’s taking a long time and I can tell you’re not having fun,” you worried. 

“I’m having the time of my life right now, Y/N. Seriously. This is the most amazing feeling I’ve ever felt. Please don’t worry about me. This is about you.”

This was everything you really ever wanted. A guy who was giving you the time you needed to adjust and be comfortable. Why the heck were you questioning it??

You smiled lightly at his kind words, nodding your head in agreement, and then started your routine of up, down, pause, again. Several minutes later, you were fully seated on Eli’s cock. You didn’t move, instead saying “This is normally where I stop. I’m not really sure what to do now.” He brought his hands up to cup your face, kissing you softly. 

“I guess, you can stay like this for as long as you need? And then maybe we can try moving a little bit?” he answered. You nodded in response, and after a few moments, you lifted your hips and sank back down. The friction felt slightly uncomfortable, but you tried again nonetheless in an effort to power through it. This time, you felt a stinging sensation, wincing lightly but hoping Eli wouldn’t notice. He did. 

“Stop,” he muttered. 

“I can keep going,” you pleaded. 

“Y/N, I said stop.” You did. “You’re in pain,” he pointed out. 

“I’m fine,” you said, but avoided his gaze. 

“Why are you lying?” he questioned, sounding hurt, which made you finally look at him. 

“I- I… I don’t know. I want to be able to do this, but it stings,” you said sadly. 

“Well then we’ll stay just like this,” he said sweetly as he brought a hand up to pet your hair. You once again nodded, too mad at yourself to say anything. “You’re doing so good,” he added. 

Instead of answering, you leaned in to kiss him. Making out had been fun, but making out while Eli was inside you was a whole new level of intimacy. His hands wandered everywhere. First to cup your face, then down to squeeze your breasts, then to the small of your back and around to your ass. After a few minutes of this, he brought one of his hands back around and down to your center. And this boy was a fast learner. He had the exact right spot, rhythm, and pressure on the first try this time, making you moan softly into his mouth. He smiled into the kiss, proud that he got you feeling good again. He kept this up, careful not to change a thing. You felt a heat pool in your stomach, your center craving more, so you began to involuntarily grind your hips into his hand. 

You gasped as the tip of his dick put pressure on a certain spot inside you. He noticed your gasp, letting the hand that wasn’t on your clit go to your hip in an effort to guide you to grind against him some more. Once you realized this movement didn’t hurt, you rolled your hips over his. Not the up and down that you had tried before, but side to side, back and forth, and in circles. And it felt good. You began to let out small moans at the combination of the pressure inside you and the feeling of Eli’s fingers massaging you. His eyebrows began to furrow and his breathing labored. This was his first time, so the small movements you were making were enough to bring him to the edge. 

“Shit, Y/N,” he murmured. You moaned loudly in response, and the sound made Eli’s eyes roll back in his head. He had to think of the most un-sexy things just to keep himself from cumming. You guys kept at it for god knows how long, until you felt that heat in your stomach turn into a heavy knot about to unravel. 

“Eli, I think I’m gonna cum,” you gasped, almost surprised. You had not been expecting an orgasm during your first time. You kept grinding your hips at the same pace, hoping that he would keep doing exactly what he was doing with his fingers. And he did. Your moans got higher and higher in pitch as you got closer to the edge, your legs beginning to shake from the effort. Your stomach dropped, and you came hard, mouth open in a silent scream. 30 seconds later, you came down, finally opening your eyes to see Eli looking at you like you were an absolute goddess. You reached down to peel his fingers off you, the sensations becoming too much to handle. However, you kept grinding in an effort to get Eli to cum too. About a minute later, his eyes squeezed shut as his hips stuttered under you and he spilled into the condom.

As soon as he opened his eyes, the first thing he said was, “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

You huffed a laugh, “I’m more than okay. That was awesome.”

He looked relieved that you had had a good time, and nodded, “Yeah, totally awesome.” 

You gave him one last kiss before sitting up and pulling off of him. As you stood, your legs shook, knees threatening to give out. “Woah,” you murmured under your breath. 

“Here,” Eli said as he guided you by the waist to lay on the couch. He went into the bathroom and came out with a clean, damp towel and wiped you off as best he could before handing it to you to finish up. He gathered both of your clothes, handing yours back to you, when his phone once again buzzed on the coffee table. He picked it up when his face suddenly dropped. 

“Shit. Demitri’s here.” 

You both shared a shocked look before scrambling to get dressed. Eli threw the coconut oil and condom wrapper into the bathroom, and turned to notice your neck covered in hickeys. He ran into his room, grabbing a hoodie and walking over to you, motioning for you to put your arms up. He put the hoodie on you, and pulled your hair up through the hood to cover the sides of your neck. Just then, you heard the front door open and Demitri yell “Hey guys! You better not have started without me!” He rounded the corner and came down the stairs, looking at both of you sitting on opposite sides of the couch, staring at the black TV screen just as you had been exactly 2 hours ago. He plopped down on the couch in between you guys and grabbed the remote, switching it on. When he went to put it back on the coffee table, he noticed a small scrap of fabric on the floor. He bent down, grabbed, and held up your underwear. 

“Ok, what the fuck did I miss?”

[4evafangowrl]

✨First day on set 🎥

Prompt: Plus-size reader & Andrew are love interests in a new film. 

Summary: It’s readers first day on set and she has definitely caught her co-stars attention.

Warning: 18+ Only, MINORS DNI, implied smut 

A/N: Hellooo!! this is my first time writing in a while, I hope whoever comes across this enjoy!

Waking up that morning you were absolutely buzzing with excitement, your acting career was picking up so much this last year and people were loving you on the big screen. This was the biggest movie of your career so far and a lot was riding on this performance. Of course there were critics and fat-shamers but that just comes with the territory when you’re in this business as a Plus-size woman. The shaming would get you down sometimes but you knew your talent and worth so the haters can go straight to hell. 

And it was that...that vibe you carried with you that caught his eye. The vibe that you knew exactly who you are and what you want. It might sound cliche but Andrew was truly attracted to personality and you had a lot of it. He realized that the first time you guys met in the chemistry reads...

- First meeting/ flashback -

Andrew was already sitting in the room with the directors and producers since he was already the lead of the film. It was the last round of lovely ladies to pick from to be his lead. Let’s be honest he was so tired of the same stereotypical type of actresses they were bringing in, he was really struggling to connect with them. They all looked the same, sounded the same, and acted the same, he was 10 seconds from losing his mind until you walked in. It was more of a strut really, swaying your wide hips from left to right with your head held high. Because of Hollywood, you were ready and expected the judgemental glares at your body. So it was time to blow them away with your skills and you had the directors and producers in the palm of your hand in an instant. You had them laughing uncontrollably and gawking at your acting abilities. Andrew just had a genuine smirk on his face while watching it all unfold, he approached her with a handshake. 

“Well you are something else aren’t you?” he spoke.

“You could call me that or... you could call me by my name.” you replied.

With the same smirk he was holding seconds before and just like that he was wrapped around her finger as well.

-End of flashback-

Andrew was equally as excited as you but for completely different reasons. He hadn’t seen you since the chemistry reads but, you guys did exchange numbers just for business of course. Even though all of your conversations consisted of favorite foods, activities, flowers, music genres ect. As much as you loved the conversations you would always try to pull the conversation back to the film so you wouldn’t lose your focus and get lost in his charm.

He arrived on set an hour early so he could sneak into your trailer and leave you a box of chocolates and y/f/ flowers. He wanted you to start your day off with a smile but he also felt a little guilty. He may have accidentally on purpose gotten the director to change the schedule and move the love scene to today. He talked the directors ear off about the love scene “being the perfect icebreaker” and “setting the right tone for the rest of filming”  blah blah blah. 

He didn’t push for the love scene to be moved to be creepy he was trying to help you. You had opened up to him about your fear of being naked in front of him and everyone on set. You loved your body, but this was one of the times that the shamers got to you. Being naked in a comfortable setting with someone you wanted to see your body was completely different than having everyone running around and watching, the world watching. He figured getting it out of the way now would be better than later so you can focus on future scenes without having the impending doom of a love scene eating at you.

When you got to your trailer you caught him in the act of leaving your gifts. You walked in and turned on the lights.

“So what’s going on in here?” you giggled lightly. He almost jumped out of his skin when he heard your voice. “Oh! hey nothing much over here j-just thought I’d leave you a little something” he was somehow able to stutter out. He turned around and took in your shining presence, you were just as beautiful as the day he met you. Before he realized he was already embracing you in a strong hug. You were a little surprised, but you couldn’t lie and say it didn’t feel good...really fucking good. So good in fact that familiar warmth between your full thighs began to make an appearance. 

You breathed out hard jerked away first feeling very, very unprofessional which you hated. Looking at his face that nervousness had dissipated, and his eye were filled with something else but you couldn’t put your finger on it. Andrew was going through it while standing in front of you. His emotions were all out of whack, you were the cause, and you didn’t even know it. “So I have some news for you-” he started “Here’s the thing, I got the director to move up the love scene.” you stood silent for a second then replied “ you did WHAT?!” in a frustrated tone. “ Look look I know that you’re scared but you can do this, i got it moved up so you wouldn’t have to stress about it for three months.” he continued “ you are a beautiful woman inside and out, I know that first hand.”  You still had an anxious look on your face, standing so still you didn’t even notice him placing his finger under your chin. He stared deep into your eyes and continued his speech “ Listen y/n” he whispered into your ear while starting to move you back farther and farther until your bodies were pressed against the door of the trailer “I can show you just how much you are desired” he continues “ All of the things I’ve thought about doing to you since day one, and give you a little motivation for today.” before you can even think to respond there’s a knock at the door that jolted throw your whole body. You hear your assistant call out “Y/N! they need you in make-up in about-” she began “15 minutes!”. He scans your face in a way no man has before, drags his thumb across his lip and says and says “i’ll let you think about that... I’ll see ya out there.” he squeezes your hip before he moves you away from the door and makes his way to his trailer.

Your mind was truly boggled. What in the fuck just happened? that was the last thing you expected from him. You did notice his suggestive tone when you guys were speaking on the phone but you thought he was just being british. You chuckled at your inner thoughts while in the makeup chair. What he did in your trailer gave you more than enough motivation for the scene today. As much as you enjoyed the feeling he gave you, you felt like he won that round. You couldn’t even focus on the insecurities you had, other than performing a great scene your main focus was to give him a show of his own.

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ALRIIIGHT let me know what you think! I need to know if I should do a part 2 or if I should never write again lol✨