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#guys I was kinda half and half about them before but
dronebiscuitbat · 2 days
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Oil is Thicker Then Blood (Part 86)
Uzi was listening to Reida, the woman having enough energy to power a city and then some. But her voice was fading out in favor of her own internal thoughts- or feeling more accurately.
And that was the tingly sensation in her side panel, only getting worse as she continued to sit on Hal and Reida's squishy couch. Her core was pinging relentlessly, even after she'd downed the chilled oil Reida had given her.
She glanced over to where the guy's were talking, for some reason N was blushing heavily, also taking a glance at her, almost like he was nervous.
“You alright girlie?” Whoops, it seemed like Reida noticed her not paying attention, and Uzi jumped slightly, startled by her voice.
“Yeah! Yeah I'm fine. Just… core. You know.” She half-heartedly explained, and Reida gave her a soft smile. “Oh, little babe is pinging? Their about ready then.”
Uzi nodded with a half smile.
“Y-yeah, another month or so, they might actually share a birthday with their dad if we're not careful.” She sucked at small talk normally, but now it was painful. Her body was being too distracting to focus on conversation.
“Oh! How cute! Have you picked out any names yet?” Reida asked, cocking her head to the side and scooting slightly closer to hear her better.
“Ah… kinda? We don't know if their going to be a boy or a girl… but I have a couple that N likes as well…” From the way the older woman was looking at her, she could tell she wanted her to continue, so she sighed, maybe it would be a decent distraction.
“There's, Colt, Winston, and Beanie for boy names. N suggested Beanie, though I'm not sure we'd go with that one, it's a little silly.”
She paused for a moment, before starting again.
“And for girl names we have Ash, Jinx, and Naomi. I'm partial to Naomi, but N likes Jinx better, says it has more ‘Doorman Charm’.”
“Those are all wonderful names! I'm sure you'll pick the one that most suits them!” Reida cheered, and Uzi couldn't help but smile back.
“Thanks. We're trying. We haven't really decided yet, it's been so bu-SY!?” The last syllabull becoming high pitched as she felt a sudden snap in her side panel, it was slightly painful, like something had just given out under pressure.
“Uh, where's your bathroom?” She suddenly asked, an uncomfortable wet feeling beginning to seep from the underneath the panel.
“Right over there dear!” Reida pointed it out, and Uzi scrambled over to it, slamming the door behind her as she let out a strained breath.
With gritted teeth she yanked off her hoodie and tank top, both clinging to her body with how tight they were now, and threw them to the ground, she looked down at her side panel;
She was leaking…
Oil was oozing out from underneath the bottom seam of the panel, dripping a small drop onto the tile floor. With a gasp, she opened it, wincing as the area came in contact with the open air.
The port that allowed her to siphon off oil was openly weaping, the inky black lifeblood seeping out from her gently, she stuck her fingers in the fluid. It was much- much denser then normal, when she rubbed it in her fingers it hung there, stretching between them as she pulled her fingers away from each other.
What the hell?
She probably shouldn't be caught of guard by her body suddenly doing something weird anymore, but somehow she always was, and this was doubly concerning, Tera still needed oil, and if her oil was changing in any way, it may no longer be safe for her to drink.
Not that it didn't already give her the solver… but that wasn't the point.
She sighed, either way, she needed to staunch this flow before she stained everything, thankfully, there was a roll of paper towels sitting on the bathroom counter; and those would have to do.
She came out of the bathroom, re-dressed and her side feeling bulky now that it was stuffed with paper, thankfully, her core had stopped pinging and had fallen still once more, making it a little easier to focus.
She made her way over to N and Tera, tugging on his coat in a way that he knew meant she wanted to leave, he looked down curiously at her, lifting his brow.
[Leave. Talk. Important.] Displayed on her screen breifly, she was trying to resist the urge to rub her side. Ugh, why can't she just be normal!
“Oh, uh. Sorry guys, have to cut this short. Looks like Zi’s not feeling well.” She also hated being the reason they had to leave, N deserved to hang out with other people besides her! But noooo, stupid organic body!
“Say no more, I get it.” Hal smiled, Reida at his side in less then a second. “Take care son.” He slapped his shoulder with a smile.
“You're welcome back any time!” Reida gave them both massive hugs again, squishing them together with an iron grip.
“We'll be back, promise.” Uzi chimed in, she already felt bad enough for cutting this visit short, and she intended to make up for it. But, in another moment, she'd shoved N out the door and they were headed to their apartment for a little… science experiment.
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ratislatis · 1 year
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COME ON COME ON AND LOVE ME, NORMAL LY
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batsplat · 3 months
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new casey podcast have you seen it
https://m.youtube.com/watch?si=ye8wNfrvaPDjtpDV&v=IuwZN6aP8sg&feature=youtu.be
(link to the podcast) yeah I did, cheers!
there's not that much 'new information' per se within this podcast, though there's a bunch of nice tidbits about teenage casey. what stood out to me is how the framing of his journey to becoming a racer is... well, it's kinda new? it's not exactly surprising, because you could get a lot of this stuff from reading between the lines in his autobiography. the question of 'is this your dream or your parents' dream' is a very common one with athletes, and it's often a thin line... but, y'know, this podcast interview in particular is quite a noticeable shift in how casey himself talks about this issue. it's a shift in how he portrays his 'dream' of becoming a professional rider back when he was formulating his autobiography, versus how he's answering questions in this episode. his autobiography isn't free from criticism of his parents - but casey is always stressing his own desire to race. so you do get stuff like this (from the autobiography):
At this point things were getting serious. Dad used to say, 'If you want to become World Champion you can't be that much better than local competition,' holding his finger and thumb an inch apart. 'You have to be this much better,' he'd say, holding his arms wide open. Dad confirms this feeling still today: 'I know it's a harsh way to look at things but that's the difference between a champion and the rest. Just look at the careers of Dani Pedrosa and Jorge Lorenzo. Dani had Alberto Puig and Jorge had his old man, both of them hard as nails. If you want to make it to the top I think it takes somebody with an unforgiving view on life to help get you there. So I said those things to Casey, particularly when we went to the UK, because to keep moving up a level he couldn't just be happy with winning a race. If he wasn't winning by a margin that represented his maximum performance then he wasn't showing people how much better he was than the rest.' There's no denying that Dani, Jorge and I became successful with that kind of upbringing and sometimes you probably do need it. As far as I'm concerned Alberto was nowhere near as tough on Dani as my dad was on me or Jorge's dad was on him. That kind of intensity and expectation puts a lot of extra pressure on a father-son relationship that isn't always healthy. We definitely had our moments and there were a few major blow-ups to come. But at the time, rightly or wrongly, it was proving to be a good system for us and I was eager to continue impressing my dad and others with my performances on the track.
(quick reminder, jorge's review of his father's style of parenting was describing him as "a kind of hitler")
but in general the emphasis is very much on how much casey enjoyed racing, on how single-minded casey was when it came to racing. he might have been isolated by his racing (again this is from the autobiography, in the context of discussing being bullied by kids in school until he got 'protection' from his dirt track friends):
School life was a whole lot better after that but I still hated it. All my real friends were from dirt-track; they were the only people I had anything in common with.
and he's talked about how other parents misinterpreted his shyness as him not actually wanting to race, which meant they were judging casey's parents as a result (autobiography):
Mum tells me that the other parents thought she and Dad were awful because I cried as I lined up on the start line. She remembers: 'I was putting his gloves on his hands and pushing his helmet over his head. The thing was, I knew Casey wasn't crying because he didn't want to ride or because he was scared. He just didn't like the attention of being stared at by all these people!'
but like. overall racing for him was still something he portrayed as a very positive aspect of his childhood. something he always clung onto, something that was his choice to pursue
so... let's play compare and contrast with some specific passages of the autobiography and this podcast, you decide for yourself. take this from his autobiography:
After I started winning more times than not, and it was obvious my passion for bikes wasn't wavering, Mum and Dad decided that seeking out sponsors could be a great idea to help offset some of the costs of travelling to meets and keeping the bikes in good order.
and here, in a longer excerpt about what a sickly child casey was, what his mother said (autobiography):
'They tested him for cystic fibrosis and he was on all kinds of medication; you name it, he was on it. But Casey still raced, we couldn't stop him.' I know I was sick but Mum was right, I wasn't going to let that stop me.
versus this from the podcast, when he's responding to a completely open question about how he got into riding:
To be honest, I don't know if I was allowed to have any other attraction to be honest. I think it was, you know, you're going to be a bike rider from when I was a very very young age - and I'm not the only one to think that. I think my parents have stated that enough times to certain people and you know I was sort of pushed in that direction. My elder sister who's six and a half years older than me, she actually raced a little bit of dirt bikes and dirt track before I was born and when I was very young, so it was sort of a natural progression to go and do a little bit more of that and I think because at the time road racing was a lot more similar to dirt track. That was our sort of way in.
this was one of the very first questions in the interview, it basically just consisted of asking casey how he got into biking in the first place - whether it had come through his family or whatever. casey chose to take the response in that direction... it's not an answer that is just about his own internal passion, how he loved riding the second he touched a bike, how he loved it throughout his childhood etc etc (which is how it's framed in the autobiography) - but instead he says he wasn't allowed to do anything else. he says that he was pushed in that direction, that his parents have openly said as much to others. that he feels vindicated in the belief he was never given another choice
let's play another round. here from the autobiography:
Mum and Dad used to stand at the side for hours on end watching me practise at different tracks. They'd sometimes clock laps with a stopwatch as I went round and round. Other parents couldn't see the point in taking it so seriously but they didn't realise it was what I wanted. I was having fun. Working out how to go faster was how I got my kicks and I couldn't stop until I had taken a tenth or two of a second off my best time on any day. If another kid came out onto the track with me I would be all over them, practising passing them in different ways and in different corners, but most of the time they avoided riding with me and I would be out there on my own, racing the clock.
and this (autobiography):
I enjoyed racing so much that even when I was at home riding on my own I would set up different track configurations to challenge myself. I'd find myself a rock here, a tree there, a gatepost over there and maybe move a branch and that would be my track.
versus here, in the podcast:
Q: And did you realise at the time that you were - not groomed, is not the word but well you were being groomed to be a professional motorcycle racer, or obviously that was your only one reference point, that was the norm. Did that just feel the norm or did you think actually this feels a bit intense or how did you feel about it? A: I think it's hard, it's not until I sort of reached my mid teens where I started to have a bit of a reality check on what I was actually doing. Before then, you know I was competitive. I'm not as competitive as people think, I'm a lot more competitive internally rather than externally versus other people. I always challenge myself to things, so all those younger years was just getting the job done that I was expected to do. I enjoyed winning, I loved it, but you know I enjoyed perfect laps, perfect races, as close as I could get to that and you know from a young age I always sort of challenged myself constantly to be better. So I didn't just win races, I tried to win them - you know, if I won races by five seconds in a [...] race I'd try and win, you know I'd try and get to double that by the end of the day if I could. So you know that always kept me sharp and it stopped me from being sort of, you know, complacent in the position I was at. And it wasn't until sort of you know 16, 17, 18 that reality kicked in. I'd had a couple years road racing in the UK and Spain, been rather successful and then you get to world championships and you know maybe an engineer that was sort of - didn't have your best interests at hear. And, you know, I nearly finished my career right there after my first year of world championships just because of the reality of how hard it was in comparison to everything else I'd experienced up to that point. And, you know, it was a real reality check for me and I think it was then that I started to - you know consider everything around me and consider how and why I got to the position that I was in and that's when the mind started to change a little bit and realise that you know I really was being groomed my whole life just to sort of be here and be put on a track and try and win. And, you know, that was my seemingly most of my existence.
in all the excerpts, he stresses how much he enjoys his perfect laps, how much he enjoys riding, how there is genuine passion there, how dedicated he is to this pursuit... but then in the podcast, he's adding something else - how he'd been groomed his whole life into that role of 'professional bike racer'. that it was only in his late teens (when he was in 125cc/250cc) where he had this moment of 'man I never really had a choice in all this'
and another round. here's him talking in the autobiography about how all the money he got through racing went back into racing - but it was fine because it was the only thing he cared about anyway:
I don't remember seeing any of the money I earned because it all went back into my racing, although I guess at the time that's all I really cared about anyway. I didn't know anything else. Mum and Dad always said to me: 'If you put in the effort, we'll put in the effort.'
and here in the autobiography on how he just wanted to ride all day:
I couldn't ride my bike all day, though, as much as I would have liked to.
and him talking in the autobiography about his parents encouraging him and his sister to 'chase their dreams':
Mum and Dad encouraged both Kelly and me to follow our passions and work hard to chase our dreams. That might sound strange when you are talking about a seven-year-old but I don't think you are never too young to know that if you want something you have to earn it.
versus this in the podcast:
Q: And I've never asked you this before, but did you want to? A: Um... I think I'd been convinced of a dream I suppose. You know, yes I loved riding bikes and you know I really did enjoy racing... but there was lots of other things that I - I really enjoyed as well but just never had the opportunity or never was allowed to do anything else, so... You know, motorbikes for our budget everything fortunately dirt track was probably the cheapest way that you could go motorbike racing. You could survive on very very little in dirt track and show your potential in other ways. You know, yes, having good bikes and good tyres and all that sort of thing made a difference but it wasn't the be all end all, you could always make a difference in other ways, so... I think it was, you know - the best thing we could have done, racing through that. Like I said I enjoyed it, it wasn't until late teens, early 20s where I sort of was like, I don't know if I would have been a bike racer had I actually had a choice.
was riding really all he cared about? or were there other things he was interested in, things he just never had the opportunity to pursue? things he wasn't allowed to pursue? from the autobiography, you get the sense that his parents always deliberately portrayed it as casey's dream, something he was expected to work hard for in order to be allowed to fulfil. in the podcast, casey says it was a dream he was 'convinced' of. without wanting to speak too much on the specifics of this parenting relationship we only have limited knowledge of, this kinda does all sound like athlete parent 101: getting it into their kids' heads that this is the dream of the child, not the parent, before holding it over them when they fail to perform when their parents have invested so so much in their child's success. casey's family was financially completely dependent on his racing results when they moved to the uk - he was fourteen at the time. he was painfully conscious of his parents' 'sacrifice' to make 'his dream' possible. can you imagine what kind of pressure that must be for a teenager?
to be clear, this isn't supposed to be a gotcha, I'm not trying to uncover contradictions between what casey said back then and what he's saying now. obviously, this is all very... thorny, complicated stuff, and casey has had to figure out for himself how he feels about it, how he feels about how his parents approached his upbringing. but it is worth pointing out that this isn't necessarily just a question of his feelings changing over time - if the internal timeline he provides in the podcast is correct, he was really having that realisation in his late teens, early 20s, so on the verge of joining the premier class. that is when he says he had the thought "I don't know if I would have been a bike racer had I actually had a choice"... which is a pretty major admission, you have to say, especially given how rough those premier class years often ended up being on him. but then that realisation would have already come years and years before he wrote his autobiography, it would've been something he carried with him for most of his career. given that, you do look at his autobiography and think that he did make the decision to frame things pretty differently back then, that he decided to exclude certain things from his narrative. if this really is already something that's been festering within him for years, if he does feel like he wants to be a bit more open about all of that now than back then... well, hopefully it shows he's been able to work through all of it a bit more in the intervening years
(this is somehow an even thornier topic than his relationship with parents, but relatedly there is a bit of a discrepancy between how bullish he is in his autobiography about how mentally unaffected he was by his results, versus how he's since opened up since then about his anxiety. again, I want to stress, this is not a gotcha, he's under no obligation to share this stuff with the world - especially given the amount of discourse during his career about his supposed 'mental weakness'. it is still important in understanding him, though, how he consciously decided to tell his own story in the autobiography and how he's somewhat changed his approach in the subsequent years)
this is the rest of his answer to that podcast question I relayed above:
But at the same time you know I felt that no matter what I would have done, I sort of have a - my mentality of self-punishment, you know, of never being good enough that always drove me to try and be better and any single thing that I did, I didn't like it when I wasn't not perfect. I don't believe in the word perfect but I really didn't enjoy when I wasn't, you know, in my own terms considered a good enough level at anything I did so I would always sort of try to get up as high as I could regardless of what for.
at which point hodgson says exactly what I was thinking and goes 'god what a line' about the "mentality of self-punishment" thing. it is one hell of a line!
what's really interesting about this podcast is how these two big themes of 'this wasn't my choice' and 'self-punishment' end up kinda being linked together when casey talks about how the motogp world reacted to him... so again I'm gonna quickly toss in a bit from the autobiography (where he's talking about casual motorcycling events he went to as a kid), because it does read similarly in how for him the joy and competitive aspects of riding are closely linked:
It was a competition but it wasn't highly competitive; it was just for fun, really. Of course, I didn't see it that way, though, and I had dirt and stones flying everywhere. I don't think anyone expected the park to be shredded like it was. When I was on my bike, if I wasn't competing to my maximum level then I wasn't having as much fun.
and back to the podcast:
And also because people truly didn't understand me, that I'm not there just to enjoy the racing. As we're explaining, before that, you know it was sort of a road paved for me... And so the results were all important, not the enjoyment of it. And then you cop the flak for everything you do. I'm also very self-punishing, so it was kind of a - just a lose lose lose and it was all very very heavy on myself, so... It, you know, it took me till my later years to realise I could take the pressure off myself a little bit and go look you've done all the work you've done everything you can, you got to be proud of what you've done, so... Not necessarily go out there and enjoy it, because I don't believe you should just be going out in a sport where you're paid as much as we are expect to get results and just - you know - oh I'm just going to go and have fun it's like... yeah, nah, if you're just going to go and have fun then you're not putting in the work. And that's when we see inconsistencies etc. So I was very very harsh on myself and so even when I won races, if I made mistakes or I wasn't happy with the way I rode, well then yeah I'm happy I won but there's work to do. There was more to get out of myself and so that's where I copped a lot of bad... um, let's say bad press because of those kind of things and then they sort of attack you even more because they didn't like the fact that you didn't celebrate these wins like they wanted you to they expect you to I suppose treat every victory like almost a championship and you know it's not that I expected these wins but I expected more of myself and therefore maybe I didn't celebrate them as much as you know other people do.
kind of brings together a lot of different things, doesn't it? this whole profession was a path that was chosen for him... which he links here to how the results were 'all important' for him, how it just couldn't ever be about enjoyment. he always punished himself for his mistakes, he was under constant pressure, which also affected how he communicated with the outside world... he was so committed to self-flagellation that he made it tough for himself to actually celebrate his victories, which in turn wasn't appreciated by the fans or the press. so on the one hand, casey's obviously still not particularly thrilled about how much of a hard time he was given over his particular approach to being a rider. but on the other hand, he's also describing how all of this can be traced back to how becoming a rider was never actually his 'choice'. he's detailed his perfectionism before, including in his autobiography, including in discussing his anxiety disorder more recently - but this is explicitly establishing that link between the pressure he'd felt during his childhood to how he'd been pushed into this direction to how he then had to perform. he couldn't afford to be anything less than perfect, so he wasn't, and at times he made his own life even tougher as a result of his own exacting standards. this just wasn't stuff he's said in such straightforward, explicit terms before... and now he is
my general thing with casey is that his reputation as a straight shooter or whatever means people aren't really paying enough attention to how he's telling his own story. like, I kinda feel the perception is 'oh he used to be more closed off because the media ragged on him but since retirement he's been able to tell it like it really is' or whatever. and I'm not saying that's necessarily wrong, but it's not quite as simple as that. because he's not a natural at dealing with the media, he's put a fair bit of thought into how to communicate better with them (which he does also say in the podcast), and he's explicitly acknowledged this is something he looked to valentino for in order to learn how to better handle. because casey has felt misunderstood for quite a long time, he's quite invested in selling his story in certain ways - and it's interesting how what he's chosen to reveal or emphasise or conceal or downplay has changed over time. which means there will be plenty of slight discrepancies that pop up over time that will be as revealing as anything he explicitly says... and it tells you something, what his own idea of what 'his story' is at any given time. this podcast isn't just interesting as a sort of, y'know, one to one, 'this is casey telling the truth' or whatever - it's reflecting where his mind is at currently, what he wants to share and in what way, and how that compares to his past outlook. the framing of his childhood was really something that popped out about this particular interview... it's not like it's exactly surprising that this is how he feels, but more that he decided to say all of this so openly. some pretty heavy stuff in there! hope the years really have helped him... man, I don't know. figure it all out, for himself. something like that
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phantajam · 1 month
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my hot take about descendants is that NONE of the core four were ready for a relationship until maybe like, the third movie (rant in tags)
#they were still adjusting to living life without struggling to survive#a girl should not be jumping into a relationship the same week she just tried her first piece of non-rotten food lol#thats not to say I don't like the canon ships#but mal married literally the FIRST man she met in auradon. at 18.#and even as far as in descendants 2 we see them still struggling to adjust in different ways (mainly mal)#in d3 they seem to have fully assimilated into life in Auradon (as much as a VK can anyway)#so it makes sense for them to THEN seek out relationships if that's what they want.#but disney ofc wanted to act like romantic love just automatically fixes a person's problems ig?? as if a relationship wouldn't just be#added stress given the position the VKs were in in d1#not to mention dating just like. wasnt a thing on the isle (mal even says this)#and I get that the kids are craving to be loved because their parents didn't gaf about them. But I wish the first movie focused more on the#finding that love in each other than romantically with outside people. a sort of “they had love in them all along” moment.#and then this fandom loves to argue about whether Jarlos/Janelos was 'rushed'. at least Carlos (and Jay +lonnie) waited a few months before#throwing themselves into the dating scene. Poor evie had her heart broken within like 3 days of being in Auradon. no wonder she was willing#to help steal the wand lol.#Anyway to wrap up this rant I didn't even mean to go on#I just think that kids who have spent the first 14-16 years of their lives fighting to survive and being put through continuous trauma on a#daily basis don't need dating right away. they need THERAPY.#if anyone here has seen stranger things its kinda an El and Mike situation were its like. the girl grew up in a lab and fell for the first#boy in regular society who was kinda nice to her lol. thats how I view Mal and Ben#same with doug and evie. he was nicer than chad but he still fell for her for her looks and she still fell for him because he was the first#guy in auradon to be genuinely interested in her. also evie had a whole “I dont need a prince” arc and ended up with a man anyway?#my problem with janelos was always that Carlos never quite worked out his mommy issues or his anxiety. I feel like he'd be afraid of hurtin#her even though that boy wouldn't hurt a fly. and we see Jane get pretty stressed out herself- have you ever been in a relationship where#both of you have anxiety? cause it either goes really well (you help keep each other calm) or REALLY terribly (you make each other spiral)#I actually really liked Lonnie and Jay (though I feel like it would've had a bigger payoff if she was in d3. not sure why she wasn't but I#wont dunk on that because it couldve been smth to do with her actress). I think Lonnie is someone who can 'handle' Jay well and match his#energy. And I like the idea of Jay finding someone he's loyal to after being commitment-phobic for 1 1/2 movies and the whole first book lo#and ofc I have to throw this in here: any auradon kid the VKs get with is never going to grasp even half of what they went through.#this doesnt mean they can't try to understand and be empathetic. but it will always cast a shadow on VK/AK relationships.
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sparky-is-spiders · 2 months
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Maybe i already asked that but whatcha think of jon/sasha/elias as a poly ship. Doomed to fail? Very dramatic but ultimately works? Personally i think elias and sasha would uh. Butt heads to say the least. I can see them work individually but in a poly ship... Eh. Maybe if you add in tim instead of jon he could errr moderate the polycule
Hmmm. I've definitely thought about it a bit (mostly in the context of "Elias should be weird about his archivist"). But the problem is that I'm a Jonshipper at heart and my brain doesn't do as much chewing on non-Jon characters. I think I could see a ship where Jon is sort of the hinge? Like Jon's dating Sasha AND Elias but they're only really connected through Jon (and working at the Institute. And being Eyevatars). There would be some level of fondness there (especially if this is dual archivists Jonsasha and they're getting Blended). Personally I see Sasha being "well he's kind of annoying but I guess Jon likes him so I can tolerate him." Don't currently know what Elias' approach to Sasha would be.
Tim being there could add a Dynamic? But again we run into the problem where my brain refuses to generate ideas or opinions if my Special Little Boy isn't there. It's puffing out smoke. There's nothing. Im sorry.
Oh wait if we're going full Eyevatar au I do think Sasha and Elias could and should bond over enjoying seeing Jon in distress. Eyevatar snack time y'know how it is.
(I mean I think they would all enjoy seeing the others suffer (even if it also hurt or horrified them) but Jon's the one I want to see suffering the mostest. I want to bite the scruff of his neck and violently shake him)
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no, no, because imagine. we get a shot of eddie looking at himself in the bathroom mirror. he touches his mustache and sighs. the next shot is someone knocking on the door of the loft. buck opens it, and it's eddie on the other side, freshly shaven and finally ready to acknowledge what buck means to him
#im so ready for eddies arc in season 8#we get the mustache (for awhile)#we get the hot priest back#we get eddie diaz in church#eddie girlies we are winning so hard this season#anyway lemme write my fanfiction in the rest of these tags#buck is like. oh hey---you shaved??#yeah. it uh was time for it to go.#buck gets them beers because ofc he does. i thought it was a yk sign of change. an eddie 2.0 kind of thing?#uh more just. idk trying it out. figuring things out. uh like a transition period i guess. that was eddie 1.5 and uh now im eddie 2.0?#and then buck watches eddie suck down like half of beer and he just looks at him with that look that always makes eddie tell him everything#and eddie says. how did you know? like how were you sure that you liked guys?#uh. i didnt? not consciously anyway. i didnt really know until tommy kissed me and then it all just kinda made sense...#right. right. so it was just always there? the uh attraction to men?#yeah. idk i thought everyone thought men were just as hot as women. i never really thought about dating men until yk i was dating one#cool. cool. and maybe eddie changes the subject. lets buck ramble his ear off for awhile before they clean up their empty bottles#and eddie catches bucks arm and looks at him and buck says. what?#kiss me#what?? eddie what?#i need to---ive been figuring things out and i need it to be you#me? why me?#cuz. cuz youre the only one i trust. the only one i want to trust. i want it to be you. i need it to be you cuz its you buck its always you#anyway buddie canon season 8
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animmal · 23 days
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getting a handle on mavis is kinda 😵‍💫 bc on the one hand she's an empath (literally) and is shown to generally have more emotional intelligence/maturity than dr🅰️x/nebs/rocket combined, but at the same time she apparently saw no problem at all whatsoever w kidnapping kevin 🥓 for peter 😭 which is like???? i mean maybe those two things can be true at the same time but like... How. 😭 is she an empath or is she okay w taking people against their will to give as a present to her brother ?
#just some thoughts b4 bed...#ooc.#james 🔫 leaving me to have to make sense of this all like ok thanks#i do think she's somewhat Stunted in regards to social behaviour that's considered acceptable or appropriate#bc for most of her life she lived on ego's planet w literally nobody else but him and his children (her half siblings) that he kept killing#he straight up didnt even acknowledge he was her father. he had her call him Master. so like... yeah. no parenting done there#but she gets Most of that sorted out when she meets the guardians i think#(like basically she figures out how Not to act by looking at dr🅰️x and 🚀 lol)#im also 100% sure gam🅾️ra would've taught her some things woman to woman (my girl i'll avenge u from what goftg3 did to u)#so u would THINK w/ all that mavis would think twice before just straight up kidnapping a guy. but No#im gna say this is bc mavis kinda has a one track mind. what she knows is that peter is sad and she wants to cheer him up#dr🪓 gives her a solution: get peter his fave hero#she goes yay! and is so fixated on that part of it that she doesn't stop to consider the consequences#bc kevin is just. part of the goal at this point and not a person#so she's always. Always well intentioned. just sometimes doesn't think about all the angles as much as she should#does that make sense? i hope so. imc rying#well intentioned but doing fucked up things also applies to that scene where she erases dra❌'s memory#bc he's sad!!!!!!! he was hurt by something she said so she wanted to take it away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#but she just went and took his memory of it without asking without even stopping to think if she should and that's#beautiful to me bc mavis is sweet and empathetic and she LOVES him just like she does all the other guardians#but she's fucked up too!!!!!! like the rest of them!!! just in different ways and i Love that in a woman#anyway. god. ive spoken too much in the tags. apparently i have a lot of feelings about this
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hauntingblue · 1 month
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Will I ever get over garp's scottish accent....
#i also think its kinda funny how they do a close up of zoro when they enter the baratie and its like he can sense sanji being there already#he can smell his pheromones....#nvm its because some people there seem to know him... like sanji knew him before he met him....#zoro sitting with the swords like that akdhaj that was funny#he literally has taken them off his waist before but some people looked at him funny and hes now on high alert#fullbody... your wig....#i cant with this sanji i need to stop every 30 seconds... it makes me retract from the screen#and he is SPANISH#mihawk has such a cunty voice akdhaj#and he is wearing cowboy boots....#zoro looking away when sanji gets the bill ajdhakshsksjsks he can't stand him!!!#zeff saying OIOIOIOIOI ajdjqjwk#why is nami spilling ajdhajshska girl....#also patty looks so good akdhskns#you know what i really appreciate zoro and nami moments my guy zoro cant talk with luffy about his grandpa but sees nami weird and#CANNOT leave it alone.... damn#also garps backstory must be really fucking devastating for me to even accept what he does like damn. not even related to opla just thinking#like forcing his son and grandsons into it and being SO HELLBENT ON IT YOU LET YOUR OTHER GRANDSON TO DIE#and still be kinda rogue from the marines like damn how does this work. not that that started before ace but....#imagine being zoro rn... half drunk just had an open feelings session with this girl you met a week ago and here comes your other#friend you met two days ago who is full on drunk and he brings fucking mihawk best swordsman in the world with him. imagine.#and now you have no option but to fight him and die. like that just hit him#also this being another instance of zoro protecting luffy akdhaksj. that is so good#but luffy washing plates and not breaking all of them is OOC!!!!!!!#nami trying to stop him bc they are bffs now..... yeah.....#netflix i hope this dynamic DOESN'T FUCKING DISAPPEAR. FIRST WARNING#look at this fake cynic. i saw you worrying about zoro before you made your bag to get out of there akdhaksjsk#how much time do you think mihawk stood there#he likes luffys hat.... GAY GAY HOMOSEXUAL#watching opla
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bijoumikhawal · 8 months
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that SPN post + me flipping through a collection of story ideas has ne thinking of that time I looked at SPN and went "alright, if I wanted an Egyptian-American take on some of this, what would that be"
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lordiavolo · 2 years
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to be like frank here, redemption is an ever going cycle. when youve been the problem, the toxic ex, the abuser, you have to know you will have to apologize for that for the rest of your life. you will always have to live with the guilt and conscience of knowing how you hurt that person, or mutliple people. and you have to constantly CHOOSE to not repeat that behavior, and its not easy.
when you meet a new friend the topic of who you used to be will come up eventually, and if you have changed youll be honest with who you were. you cant run from it. you cant try to round the corners and make it seem like the other persons fault, or like it wasnt as bad as it was. its really really scary. because everytime you open up about it, its not just the wound of guilt but its also the fear that theyre going to look inside and not like what theyll see.
but you have to keep moving on and you have to keep being honest. and you have to remember that everyone is applicaple for redemption, you just have to work for it and admitting you were wrong with no buts is the first step.
#anyways cna u tell im kinda going thru it LOL#ive always been a toxic person thats why ive sort of secluded myself from society i avoid human contact w non household members as much as#possible bcuz i feel honestly like im a ticking time bomb that just hurts everything i touch#i dont think its fair to have to have someone deal w my shit when its such an emotional turmoil so even though i want friends im making my#peace w the fact that i like honestl dont really deserve rhem? ik this seems MOPEY but its like this is my geniune non like baiting thoughts#i was an abuser in high school and in an abusive relationship where for the first half i was the perpetrator. i hit my ex and u know i dont#even have anything to add to it other than it was fucked up. i was selfish in bed and sex addicted and sometimes did anything for my fix.#i will and cannot lie about my past as being a shitty person. its scary to say and post but i have to be honest thats who i was that IS a#part of my history as much as i wish i could i cannot erase.#i dont rly even know what to add here honestly. just watching mias vid got me thinking u know#there is more to this story ofc the same ex i was abusive to was also abusive to me it was just split into segments. like i was the problem#for the first year and a half then it switched to them but its not rly rhe best place 2 share that story when im talking about my mistakes#im not trying to detract here i just want 2 get this shit off my chest again. ive talked about it before but not since remaking a few times#anyways i dont have any excuses well i mean i can pull a bunch out but im not going to cuz at the end of the day i shouldve known better#than to be a bitch when i knew i was being a bitch u know?#being the bad guy is a constant struggle where u will have to really really fucking fight yourself tooth and nail to change and i want to be#that person. i want to be someone who can be 100% honest about how shit i was to myself and others (which i do already do to my friends)#hopefully this makes sense idk anyways if ur struggling with being abusive or toxic im here for u. u can get through this and you can be a#good person it is within ur hands i promise u#ok love u goodnight#personal
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lulubeanie · 2 years
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Having a lot of thoughts about these beasts rn..
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#duck speaks#dhmis#I know I draw them already but my thoughts on them have changed since then#I think it would be more fun if they had different personalities from the original guys#closer to the personality of the one they got the color from but still kinda similar to the original guy also#kinda like a mix#and also#they are like a glitch that happened when the machine was unplugged and are not supposed to exist#they were probably put away in a separate house until Lesley or whoever figured out what to do with them#but then they were eventually forgotten about and so technically allowed to do whatever they want#I think they probably got like the first 3 or 4 teachers sent to them before they were forgotten tho#also they tried to tear the sketchbook in half so :/#(Green guy didn't take well to being called uncreative tried to tear them up but Red duck tried to intervene only to make it worse I think)#I think if they met the originals (who probably were replaced after the glitch I bet)#things would start to get weird#they are not supposed to be in close proximity to their doubles or they could start to glitch out and stuff#they can meet the other guys from the trio that aren't like the glitch version of themself and be fine tho#they do not particularly like the other versions of their friends tho#they think that they aren't acting right and all that#oh I've also seen people making like#black and white version of the guys too#maybe that's what happens when the doubles get too close to eachother?#the originals can be replaced if this happens#but the swap color ones can't because they don't have backups (again they're not supposed to exist)#so.. yeah#they'd just stay that way#:/#oh well#there's other rgb trios#puppets
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succubus-nblm · 2 years
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I found out that apparently my bf has been rejected for his crooked/chipped teeth multiple times and when he was telling me this I was legit like getting Mad. Like idk, he's literally so hot and the nicest fucking person I've ever met in my life and the fact that he had been rejected so many times that he was terrified to show me a pic of him smiling with his mouth open when we met (on a dating app) makes my blood boil. I will tell him at LEAST 10x a day that I love his smile and it's the cutest fucking smile I've ever seen for the rest of our lives. He now sends me pics of him smiling and I max out the reactions on discord from sending every single heart reaction. Fuck people who judge people based on TEETH like that's the dumbest shit. Grrrrr grrrr bite kill grrrr
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ectoplasmer · 2 years
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y’all ever think about kissing your f/o. literally screaming into a pillow
#it’s not FUNNY i want to kiss a fictional man so bad right now it makes me look DUMB#hold on i need to be embarrassing for a sec#i’m thinking like… specifically those seconds in between kissing them where their eyes are drooped closed and they’re already leaning-#-towards you again and maybe their hair is a bit messed up because of you grabbing it and agdkfhfk#or like…. the kind of kisses where they’re laughing or giggling to themselves in between breaths and their eyes are squeezed shut and-#-they’re just smiling st you the whole time. literally not once dropping it even while kissing you.#SOBBING MAN…. I’M SO DESPERATE TO KISS ANY OF THEM :(((#doesn’t even have to be traditional kisses like#forehead kisses drive me literally insane#doing something kinda dumb and being met with them like snickering while they shake their head#having them push back your hair to kiss the top of your head while teasing you about it#when you’re cupping their face and they’re looking at you so adoringly and they’re cradling your palm to their face#them turning slightly to press a kiss to your palm while nuzzling into it further…… sobs#i am so soft right now i would literally die at just a peck on the cheek. send help#being busy doing something and they come up to watch you work on whatever it is#maybe it’s something you’re already used to and they can just watch you go through the motions like second nature#and for some reason watching you do something so naturally makes them remember just how much they love every bit of you#so they turn their head to kiss your cheek and when you look st them they just flash you a small smile before going back to whatever#OR OR getting kissed awake by them…. having them press little pecks all over your face when you’re already half awake…… aahdjfbfknc#literally kicking my legs in bed right now i am so not normal over any of these guys#ANYWAY hi tumblr. normal 11pm rainy activities i swear#i’m supposed to be packing…. oops#i’ll go do that right now BUT DO KNOW physically i am doing that mentally i am thinking of kissing fictional boys from a card game show#rainy.file#quartzshipping
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tealfruit · 1 year
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totk has flaws like any game but tbh it has easily met and perhaps exceeded my expectations. BOTW was like my fav game ever but totk is EXCELLENT and has so much more to do in it too
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dear-kumari · 2 years
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The Pale Blue Eye pulls a pretty neat final twist that I've always wanted to see play out in a whodunnit, but unfortunately it also executes that twist in the lamest way possible
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basslinegrave · 18 days
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was looking for something but instead found a folder with some random art from probably around 2016 and theres some oc lore that i completely forgot about but it all makes so much sense like i cooked here.. i never used or made art for these much since then but damn
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