#guy whose head is saying you can't hurt your family not even if they hurt you you can't hurt your family not even if they hurt you do it an

[weidli]

nightmare really is like. guy A, who is at the least passively suicidal and probably thinks he deserves to die, suggests killing guy B, who was physically abused by two thirds of his family while the last third enabled it and snapped and killed two of them and wants to kill the third . guy A, who we know would rather die then contemplate hurting the remaining members of his family even when they're trying to kill him. guy A, who says but it doesn't justify murdering his entire family. guy A's brother says do you think i could end up like [guy B] and guy A says you won't. not as long as i'm here

[shiroxichigo]

Ichigo gets a lot of shit (typically from outside of the Bleach fandom) for being a character whose wants/goals never change from beginning to end of his series. He always wants to protect people (and even though I could argue that he went from only wanting to protect those close to him to wanting to protect everyone he can, that's not the point I'm making with this post).

I think a lot of people who only give Bleach a passing glance fail to see Ichigo's true character growth. It's not about what his goals are or who he's trying to protect, but rather, it's about how he achieves it.

Ichigo is very self-sacrificing in the first third of Bleach. He believes that if the mission is successful, then it doesn't matter how broken or close to death he gets. The mission, saving Rukia (and hurting/killing as few people in the process), is all that matters.

Then, when a part of himself (his inner hollow) emerges, and says "hey yeah no, I'm not letting you get yourself killed and I'm also not letting you hold back against your enemy", Ichigo immediately rejects it.

It's not until he defeats his inner Hollow that we see Ichigo really dive into a fight with the intent to kill. The problem is, once his Hollow is defeated, he thinks that's it. He's freed himself of that part of him and he can go back to being self-sacrificing.

We see this throughout the Hueco Mundo arc. It's why saving Orihime parallels saving Rukia. Ichigo naively thinks he can suppress a part of himself. He bottles it up until it explodes, coming back to haunt him in his fight with Ulquiorra, etc. He learns that side of himself isn't so easily tucked away, and if he recklessly endangers himself, he could end up endangering his friends too. At his own hand, no less.

Then Ichigo discovers he can commit the ultimate sacrifice. Final Getsuga Tenshou. He can throw away these powers and the parts of himself that he doesn't like, and he can get rid of Aizen all in one go. He's lucky that it worked, but only because Kisuke was there.

Then, once Ichigo is powerless, he learns that's not what he really wants. Life doesn't "go back to normal". The can is open, and there's danger out there beyond just Aizen. And Ichigo can't do anything to stop it unless he gets his powers back.

So he does. Then he cuts down the threat to his friends and family. And he doesn't hesitate this time. Yes, he still has compassion for his enemies (he even goes to the Soul Society to ask for Ginjo's body so he can give him a proper burial), but he's learned not to hold back and he's learned that new threats will appear and he'd rather have the power to face them head on.

So then comes TYBW, and Ichigo is facing battles head-on without hesitation. He goes straight to the "bad guys" with the intention of cutting them down. He learns the truth about who his Inner Hollow is, and he accepts it. He's even willing to accept whatever consequences may come from training in the Royal Palace and becoming stronger. He accepts his power and potential fully, and learns that he has what it takes to protect his loved ones with his strength, and not with a sacrifice.

Ultimately, he heals the part of himself that thinks his life is worth less than other people's. He heals the part of himself that blames himself for not protecting his mother (when he was 9!! Like come on Isshin, put the kid in therapy!! Anyway...) He grows into someone who knows his self worth. And I think, for me at least, that makes him one of my favourite protagonists of all time. Because can't most of us relate to feeling worthless at times? And don't we also wanna overcome that?

Thanks for reading my ramble lmao, I'm sure this could have been more elegantly written but I'm very sleepy and just wanted to get my thoughts out there.

[abiatackerman]

Insecurities

Event: @levievent "Levi Month 24"

❤️‍🩹Day 14: Jealousy❤️‍🩹

Canon universe! Captain Levi Ackerman x Medic Reader! Fluffy romance! Healing words! 1.3K words

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"I never should've expected anything. I'm fucking stupid."

Levi Ackerman, humanity's strongest soldier, says to himself, standing on the rooftop of the survey corps hq.

He's so frustrated......

"I'm friendly to everyone, that's why I try to act friendly with you too."

Your words echo in Levi's mind as he looks up at the stars with a gloomy expression.

Right, you were just being friendly with him just like you are with everyone else. But still he hoped you liked him. How you would always smile when you noticed him, how your soft hands would stitch him up with care if he got hurt, how your face used to soften when you listened to his story without judging....

He thought maybe... Maybe you did like him. More than a friend.....

But his hopes totally got shattered today when he saw you hugging another man as intimately as you could.

It definitely wasn't his intention to sneak up and find you and your "male best friend" at the secluded corridor of the infirmary. He just accidentally spotted the scene when he went there searching for you.....

But now it's making him feel frustrated, angry and jealous.... He can't help it.... He just likes you so much.... Is it wrong for him to like someone romantically? After all he's just a human! Can't he hope for the girl he likes to like him back? Just because he's the strongest doesn't mean he's not a HUMAN!

But he knows he shouldn't feel like this. He should have known that this would eventually happen. He is a guy whose mother was a prostitute, who has no future, who's short as a midget and who can die anytime....

Why would you choose him over someone who's rich, handsome and belongs to a noble family? He was stupid to even think about the possibility.

He sighs and sits in his usual place, leaning on the wall. He takes a deep breath to calm his raging jealousy. It always helps him to calm down and to put up a stoic expression on his face. No one actually understands his actual emotions. Though he thought you knew but....

He's definitely wrong.

"Levi?"

He freezes as he hears the soft voice which never fails to make his heart beat faster. Your voice... Why are you here? The timing can't be worse.... He takes a deep breath before answering.

"What?"

He asks in a stern voice, sterner than usual. He just can't help it. He's pissed with you.

"Mood off?"

You ask, chuckling and sit beside him. You're sitting so near that he can smell your scent. As always, it's natural and sweet.

And his favourite.

"None of your business."

Levi says again, trying to ignore your presence and your scent. He should leave.... Because he will do something he'll regret later if he stays here. He was about to stand up but stops as you speak up again.

"Josh's mom died. Suicide.... His father cheated on her with a maid."

Levi freezes as he realises that you are talking about the guy he saw you earlier with. He looks at you blankly as you start to talk again.

"You know, I was so dumbfounded.... Well since we're best friends I hugged him. I don't know what else to do to comfort him. And he cried like a baby. He loved his mother."

You say as you lean on the wall and look up at the sky. Levi clicks his tongue with irritation.

Are you trying to internationally irk him up? Do you want to see how he's gonna act when he's jealous? Otherwise why are you telling him that you hugged another man when he tried to give you hints so that you'll understand he likes you?

"Why are you telling me this?"

He asks with pure annoyance and you tilt your head to look at him.

"Because I thought you deserve to know."

"And why do you think that?"

Levi's immediate question makes you sigh. You start to play with your hair and you mumble in a low tone.

"Didn't want you to think that I'm cheating with you."

Levi pauses as you say that. He doesn't understand what you meant. Does it mean that you like him too? Are you trying to imply that you two are already in a relationship? Though he doesn't mind the idea even a bit but he's feeling stupid as a brat right now. He doesn't know how to reply to your question.

"I saw you leaving when I was hugging Josh. You looked so hurt and shocked and I  wanted to explain. You have to except Josh's presence in my life. He's one of my best friends and yes he may have some feelings for me but he never acted on it. Also he supports our relationship so...."

Levi stops you before you can speak any further.

"Are you trying to imply that you care more about me? Than Josh? You shouldn't. I don't deserve it. Also we're not in a relationship"

The words escapes Levi's mouth before he can realise. He immediately regrets it as soon as he notices you expression saddens. You nod.

"I know we're not but I just thought you like me. I mean I thought you gave me hints I guess I was wrong."

Levi's face softens at your answer. He looks at your face which is slightly pink now and the moonlight is highlighting your beauty more, making you look like an angel.

"Why me?"

He asks softly.

"I don't care about a prince charming Levi, I want a scarred knight for me. Who I can heal, who I can support. Who I can truly love after knowing all of his insecurities... It is my dream also...."

You say and look into Levi's eyes. Your voice turned firmer as you speak.

"You're the most incredible person I've seen. You're loyal, honest, caring and kind but you refuse to show it all. You're so beautiful and handsome and you know it too! You're strong as hell but inside you're suffering. Yet you keep fighting, for people, for humanity. Tell me, how can I stop myself from falling for you?"

Levi looks at you with a dumbfounded expression. You can't blame him because you know he may have never heard those things before. You smile and hold one of his hands, falling in love with his blue eyes which are glowing under the moonlight.

"Also about your past? I don't care. You had to do it to live. I bet your mother is so proud of you."

You smile sweetly.

"I'm jealous of her. He has an amazing son."

Levi feels tears covering his eyes so he blinks, refusing to cry.

"Shut up."

He says in a weak tone and looks away from you.

"Also look at you, what a gentleman you are! Though you were always jealous of Josh you never once behaved harshly with him. Most men would have punched him or punished me by now."

You chuckle and Levi shakes his head with amusement. You really never fail to make him smile. Or cry...

"What do you think I am? A teenager?"

You chuckle at Levi's words and shake your head.

"So you're admitting that you were jealous?"

You ask smugly and Levi looks at you and utters his words calmly.

"I don't think so there's no point in denying it since you've confessed too."

You smile widely.

"Can I take that as a yes?"

You give him your puppy eyes and he smiles a little.

"Tch yes... But never do that again. If that's not necessary."

Your face softens and you smile brightly at his words.

"You're really a gentleman, you know that? You're practically giving me the permission to hug another men. But I promise Levi, I'll never misuse the chance."

Levi makes a pissed expression and flicks your forehead.

"I trust you. I know you won't."

You rub your forehead and smile.

"I trust you too, Levi."

[manicpixiefelix]

head, heart, hand. {Felix Catton/Reader/Oliver Quick}

Part 26.

Summary: In which you and Venetia finally discuss the thing you've been avoiding all Summer since Oliver arrived. You finally get the truth from her, and wish you hadn't. Still, you finally offer the truth to Felix.

{ masterpost }

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.

A/N: 3101 words. where have i been? don't worry about it. where have you been? anyways i hope you want some drama to sink your teeth into. went into a much different direction than the chapter outline i had for it. unedited, but would love to hear from you guys as i'm getting back into it!

TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)

----

Things have been quiet since Farleigh left. Was sent away. Whispered gossip and speculation between the Catton siblings and Oliver that you feel too strange to indulge in, and an ache in your chest that you feel like you're not allowed to talk about. For all his disappointment regarding Farleigh's betrayal of the family, Felix knows your own hurt runs far deeper than you will ever let on. Yes, the two of you fought often, and in time you all knew he'd be back, but this conflict had made your bond especially fragile, and in his absence you feared it may never again be what it once was.

And Oliver seems to pick up on it too.

"Are you going to prune all of his flowers too?" Oliver asks, sounding so casual, but his words catch you by surprise, and your expression drops as you turn to him. It's late, in the study together, and he's got one of your botany books open in his lap.

"Whose flowers?" You know who he means, but hate the very thought. You hope you'd misheard. You hope you're wrong, but you're not.

"Farleigh's."

"What makes you think that?" You ask, turning back to the textbook in front of you, laying open on the desk.

"I just mean... well after trying to go under the Catton's noses like he did," Oliver shrugs, like he can't see your growing upset at the reminder, can't see how your face has fallen. This Summer night feels so cold; many have since Farleigh had left.

"No," you tell him faintly, turning to the next page of your book, heart beating uncomfortably in your chest, "he's still family."

"Oh," Oliver doesn't say much more about it after that, nor does he stay all that long either.

"Zinnias," you murmur, face still turned to your book, when he goes to retire for the night. Oliver gives pause, and you tell him, "Farleigh's flowers are the zinnias; they look a bit like a sunset." Oliver doesn't have much of a response, other than telling you goodnight, but you weren't sure what you had been expecting otherwise.

He's somehow even quieter than usual in the wake of the scandal, but he clings to you and Felix now more than he doesn't, and you find yourself clinging to him too. He's been good enough to not bring up Farleigh's departure around you either, though he has taken Farleigh's usual seat beside you at the table. Honestly, you don't really mind; you'd rather that than the emptiness continue to remind you. Surprisingly it's Venetia who seems to have grown wary of him.

"You and Feef must be pleased," she languishes, her back against you in the bath next to her own room, perfumed steam turning golden in the candlelight, "mummy and daddy both like this one."

"Please don't talk about Ollie like that," you sighed, chin on her shoulder, arms wrapped around her, holding her close.

"Daddy called him 'an intriguing, well-read, young man' the other day," Venetia continues as if she hadn't heard you at all, "and mummy called him charming and thoughtful, and much better than 'the last one'," she offers candidly, "she just liked that he liked my brother, I don't think she ever really cared for Eddie himself much," she leans back a little against you, and turns just enough that you can see her smirk at the corner of her lips, "you didn't either, did you? Even before everything happened between me and him?"

Lowering your face, you pressed your lips to her shoulder firmly, taking a moment to compose your thoughts before diplomatically telling her that Eddie didn't matter anymore. It does you no good to ask her why she's bringing this up now, but you still ask. As expected, Venetia ignores the question.

"Where did Eddie go after he was cast out? Rude, by the way," she adds, "he was fun," her tone is so jarringly light, though you know part of it is just to get a rise out of you. You don't take the bait.

"That was your mother's decision, not mine," you offer flatly.

"Did you have him killed?" Venetia's glee at the very idea was downright malicious, playing at sounding scandalised. You don't even want to humour her with a real response, just giving a flat, side-eye, "oh, don't give me that look, I'm sure your parents have plenty of people killed all the time."

"They don't -"

"Or they're just not telling you about it," she shrugs, pondering for a moment, "I think our family could get away with murder given the right circumstances, you know? But I could definitely see Pearl having critics murdered for negative reviews on a whim all the time," at her mention of your mother, your face scrunches up. Unfortunately she did have a point, but you hoped your parents, for all their sins, weren't actually that petty and vindictive.

"You're more my family then they are, Ven," you choose instead to say, and Venetia hummed, taking one of your hands beneath the water, lacing her fingers with yours.

"That's sweet as long as I don't think about it for more then a second," she giggled, tipping her head back against your shoulder, turning her face to yours with a mischievous smile, "but that still means you get one, and I'm asking if you and mummy had Feef's ex-boyfriend murdered and buried beneath the flowers in the fairy garden."

"If we'd had Eddie murdered - which we didn't - I wouldn't have had him used as fertiliser in the fairy garden," you tell her firmly, "my flowers deserve better than that." At that, Venetia snorted a laugh, leaning forward to grab her body wash. Sliding seamlessly to the other end of the tub, she begins to methodically wash herself, starting with her arms. There's little else to do but watch her; you don't want to encourage this conversation if you could help it, but you're not sure where to to go from here.

"He was really quite ghastly, wasn't he?" Venetia says suddenly, not even looking at you.

"What?" Your tone is immediately sharp.

"Eddie; he was awfully cruel to Felix," she elaborates casually, like she's completely unaffected by the sudden intensity of your gaze, "not outwardly," she muses, pausing in her scrubbing as she finally meets your gaze, her own thoughtful, "but, like, insidiously, beyond even cheating on him."

"With you," you remind her harshly, but there's an insistent earnestness in her expression that you really hadn't been expecting as she continues.

"With me, yes, but that's the thing," here she gives pause, as if searching for the right words, "he never talked about you or Felix," she finally says like she still can't quite believe it, "you I suppose I understand, but honestly it did always, I don't know, I suppose it irritated me how little he talked to you or even about you, even when he was around you. But it's like Felix didn't even exist either when he wasn't around him," with each word she speaks, her expression falls just a little more. This is all making you feel rather ill; you can't even bring yourself to want to try and comfort Venetia in some way as she seems so helpless and small with her thoughts fixed on the memory.

"I think I wanted to prove that not everything revolves around my brother," she admits softly, "but I suppose it would always be easy taking something he never really had." Her voice is so small when she turns her far away look upon you, "Eddie never really loved Felix, not really," it's not a question, "there was no regret about hurting him," she mutters bitterly, gaze drifting again. Venetia barks a rueful laugh, "you know he apologised to me? I know he's not dead," she admits, "he called after landing in America before I thought to block him, Summer wasn't even over, he didn't even mention Felix let alone ask if he was alright. I was fine!" She laughs angrily, and when she looks back at you, there's tears in her eyes, "but Felix was -" but it catches in her throat, and it's like she finally sees the hurt and anger in your eyes with all she's admitting to. Immediately her gaze drops, apologetic and self conscious for her self involved outburst given the circumstances; she knows she's not the victim.

Felix was shattered.

Venetia clears her throat suddenly, looking away. When she speaks, when she tells you that she knows you warned Oliver away from her, her tone is forcibly bright. But you can't speak. You don't want to be here, don't want to be around her right now. All of your suspicions about Eddie had been right in the end, and now she had to go ahead and bring up Oliver.

Venetia says your name softly, but you stand.

"I can't do this tonight, Venetia," you tell her coldly. It's a strange feeling, to hear her protest, to hear her almost beg for you to just look at her, but you can't do this tonight. After Eddie, you'd iced her out for the rest of that Summer, but she'd seemed contented; she'd won against Felix and so you were not required to keep her entertained. You'd never stood up to Venetia in any way that mattered before.

"Please," it comes out so small, so fragile sounding. Towel wrapped around yourself, you turn, expression hard as you're able to manage.

"Why?"

"So you do know he's lying," she mumbled uncomfortably, then, "I don't know," Venetia admits after a very long silence. Clutching the lip of the ornate tub, she looks almost like a child again, looking, for the first time in your memory, guilty.

"Is it just like last time? Taking something from Felix?" You accused, finally feeling that anger, that resentment beginning to burn in you, "was it better?" You hissed, "when you realised Ollie actually loves him? Or was it worse?"

"I thought if I could get him to look at me the way he looks at you, it'd prove he doesn't really love you," Venetia blurts out. Her gaze is on the floor, and you've gone entirely still. The next words she speaks are biting, full of frustration, "I hate him. I hate the way he looks at you. I don't care how he looks at Felix, everyone loves Felix."

Oh, there is was, unspoken behind her words. As long as Felix, and only Felix, had your heart, she knows she'll always have you around. If Oliver manages to steal your heart, she's afraid that you'll choose him, and she and Felix will both lose you. Her understanding of it all is childish at best; can't she sees that you're capable of so much more than that. You've never conformed to binary choices like that; doesn't she know you better?

"I'll never forgive you if you fall in love with him," she tells you as you reach the door.

"You'll learn to live with it."

With each step back to your room, that hollow feeling in your chest keeps gnawing at you from the inside out. Shielded from the world by only a towel, you feel, for the first time in a long time, you feel too exposed as you roam the halls of the Saltburn Estate. Farleigh had called you spineless, said you'd let Oliver break Felix's heart, and now he's gone. Venetia had so hated the idea of anyone else loving you that she'd tried to facilitate that heartbreak herself, and now you're leaving her behind. All this for Oliver Quick, for the idea of a boy who might love Felix the way you knows he deserves. But even so, Oliver had been party to Venetia's cruelty against you and Felix, had lied about it, had made you complicit when you'd seen through that lie.

Anything to make sure Felix was happy. That's how you justified your own, whether it be indirect or not, cruelty to those around you. But he'd hurt so much more in the long run; the writing was on the walls.

The moment you step into his room, he turns, surprised. He's on the balcony, half folded into one of the wicker chairs, reading and smoking and looking like a dream. Before you even say anything, he knows something is wrong. When he asks, you can't answer, moving almost robotically to change back into your pyjamas.

"I think I need to talk to Ollie," you mumbled without thinking when Felix takes your face in his hands. You barely see him, still stuck in your own head. He frowns, asks why, asks what's wrong, and the care in his voice brings you out of your trance-like state. Swallowing hard when you finally look him in the eyes, your resolve begins to crumble, "I want to know why he did what he did before I tell you," you admit, voice barely a whisper. Felix's expression darkens for a moment, and his hands move from your face to hold you by the shoulders. It grounds you, but the look in his eyes makes your heart ache.

"What did he do?"

"It's different from last time," you shook your head, already trying to soften the blow for what you're about to admit, "Ollie actually loves you, I don't know why he did it." Pressing your forehead to his shoulder, you can't bring yourself to look him in the eyes in this moment.

"What did he do?"

"I need to know why he did it," is all you can manage; you can feel yourself beginning to break, "I need to talk to him, I need to ask, I need to know, because that's the only fucking piece left; why?" Pulling back, away from him, you sink down onto the end of the bed, your face in your shaking hands.

"I know why she did it," you finally admit, "I wish I didn't, but I do. I hate her," comes out through your teeth, bitter and anguished all at once.

"Venetia?"

"They've been lying to you, Felix," you choke out, "been lying to your face, because they love you." All you can do is hope that it's true, "it's why she did it, she couldn't stand the thought of someone else loving me, because she thought if I loved him back, I'd choose him over you, and she wouldn't have me around anymore."

"Vee and Ollie?" Felix already sounds heartbroken when he whispers the words. Without looking at him, you nod. The awful, ugly truth, finally, "and you knew?"

"Ollie pretty much admitted it when I didn't believe his lie; he knows I trust Farleigh with my life," you breathed, finally looking up at him, apology in your eyes. Felix looks as though his world is crashing around him. Again, "since I was the one who saw Ven and Eddie together last year, not him." Felix's eyes go wide at this, stepping back, only to starts pacing, scrubbing his hands over his face.

"Why didn't you tell me you didn't believe him?" Felix huffs as he tries to process everything.

"Because I've been trying to find a way to make you believe that what happened isn't like last time."

"But it is!" Felix finally snaps, stopping dead, "I don't want to do this again," his voice cracks, and when he turns to you, there's tears in his eyes, "how can you say it's not?" It's almost pleading, desperate for any kind of hope.

"Because he loves you!"

Immediately, both of your eyes are on the door to the bathroom, holding your breath, fearing Ollie himself may have heard your outburst, may be listening in. You're fairly certain he's not, but your heart is still in your throat.

"I know he loves you, Felix," you finally breathe, hanging your head, "you know he loves you."

"Then why would he -"

"I don't know," you reiterate, desperately, "it's why I need to talk to him." In the quiet, Felix takes deep, shaking breaths, before he sits on the floor before you, legs crossed, his forehead braced against your knee.

"I don't want you to go through that again," you tell him softly, sincerely, carding your fingers through his soft, dark hair.

"We could run away," Felix whispers faintly, echoing words you'd spoken to him just a week ago, when you'd been first dealing with this whole situation and hadn't wanted to admit the truth then either, "like you suggested; get a flat in London, never go back to Oxford, never speak to any of them again," when he looks up, resting his chin on your knee, you see the sadness in his eyes despite his soft smile, "just us."

You both know it's an impossible dream, but still, you huff a soft laugh, your thumb brushing his cheek as you cradle his face tenderly.

"Okay, just us; that's all I'll ever need."

His smile grows just a little wider, leaning into your touch and this moment. But the moment, the idle dream, it has to come to an end. Felix's face falls once more.

"You love him," he sighs gently, mouth pressed into a thin line, "I love him, Y/N," he sounds so helplessly, "I wish I didn't, but I do. I love Oliver Quick, and he's going to break my fucking heart, isn't he?"

"He loves you too, Fi," you assured him gently, "that's why he lied, why..." you take a deep, guilty breath, "why I didn't tell you."

"What the could he even say to salvage this; you warned him about Venetia. The more I think about it, the more I- I- I fucking hate it. Them."

"I don't want you to talk to him," he tells you quietly, his voice calm and serious as he speaks over your protests, "I don't like that you had to do this, that you felt like you had to do this for me. Let me talk to him."

"Fi -"

"You make me happy," he tells you firmly, "everything you do makes me happy; you don't need to do this. Even if me talking to Oliver doesn't make you happy, at the very least, let me do what I can; I want to make sure you're never unhappy for my benefit. I want you to be happy too, I hope you know that."

All your protests die in your throat.

"I do, Fi."

"Then let me do this. This is my relationship too, you don't have to do all of this alone."

[thepixelelf]

frat president seungcheol x reader x one night romance chan warnings: slight and I mean slight suggestiveness. coarse language, alcohol, possessive (derogatory) cheol; he's toxic and doesn't know it. implications of sex and sexual acts. idk how frats work. wc: 1.8k

love triangle au requests (this one is also for @hey-blondie <3)

read part 1 first

[what's holding you back? 2] Every time his brothers decide to throw another house party, Seungcheol considers quitting altogether. He's always the one who ends up having to clean the house (with the help of an ever-nagging neatfreak Mingyu by his side, at least), always the one who has to arrange the keg delivery (with Soonyoung and his connections getting them life-saving discounts, thankfully), and always the one whose room gets miraculously broken into by some horny party-goers.

(Joshua is still scrubbing every tile in the bathrooms bi-weekly for that last incident.)

((Why he couldn't use his own damn room is still a mystery to Seungcheol.))

Despite all that, every time the boys arrange a new headache -- party, whatever -- and Seungcheol thinks about sitting this one out, they always manage to do the one thing that makes these stupid shindigs irresistible to Seungcheol.

They invite you.

And even though your course load can only be described as mountainous, your part-time job starts early tomorrow morning, and you far prefer getting at least half of a good night's sleep...

You're here. You're here while music blasts and people dance like the rent's due and something breaks every two and a half minutes, laughing at something Jeonghan said. Just within and out of reach.

You lean into the cushion behind you, your shoulders brushing his arm where it rests on the back of the couch. Seungcheol lets the warmth from your back seep through his skin like honey -- because why wouldn't he? You're comfortable where you are, and it's his job to be that "where".

"No, I'm serious!" you defend yourself against Jeonghan's teasing. A likely thing for him to be doing. "He's a total scaredy cat. That's why he always makes you guys run the yearly haunted house."

Soonyoung waves his hand dismissively. "No way. His family celebrates Halloween every year-- that's why he never runs it with us."

"As if!" With a sly smirk, you bump your shoulder into Seungcheol's side. "He hides out at my place every year, and we don't even watch scary movies, either."

Seungcheol rubs the spot you bumped even though it doesn't hurt at all. "We watch scary movies," he argues.

"Halloweentown doesn't count, Seungcheol."

"Now you're just trying to embarrass me--"

Someone calls out your name, and you turn your head, eyes widening,

"Oh shit," you breathe out.

Some guy strides up to the couch with the confidence and determination of a soldier, and every muscle in Seungcheol's body tenses.

You? After the initial surprise, your eyes brighten in that special way Seungcheol likes when you're looking at him.

And can't stand when it's anyone else.

Lifting yourself off the cushions and subsequently away from Seungcheol's arm, you approach the guy before he makes it all the way over to the couch. You touch a hand to his arm, lightly, familiar, a smile on your lips as you chuckle and say, "How the hell did you find me?"

Seungcheol's jaw clenches. He turns to Jeonghan. "Who is that?"

For once, Jeonghan was minding his own business, and he turns away from his conversation to see whom Seungcheol nodded at. "Ah," he says, all-knowing when it comes to who's who. "That's one of Seungkwan's friends. Chan. Lee Chan."

Seungcheol scrunches his nose. Chan, he mocks in his mind as he watches you lead the guy off somewhere. Lee Chan sure isn't holding back in the up-and-down glances. It's like he can't even believe you're there in front of him.

The thing is, you shouldn't be. Seungcheol grinds his teeth. The couch is where you should be, where you're comfortable and you're honey and you're next to him.

He stands.

Even though he knows the answer now, Seungcheol settles next to you, slings his arm over your shoulder, and interrupts whatever the loser was saying with, "Hey, Cherry. Who's your friend?" He lifts his chin a bit, peering down his nose at him with the closest he can get to a polite smile.

There. Lee Chan should get the message with that.

But instead of scurrying off with his tail between his legs like so many of your pursuers had before him, Chan barely acknowledges Seungcheol and just blinks at you. "Cherry?" he asks.

"Oh." You fluster a bit at the nickname, and Seungcheol grows hotter knowing Chan gets to see another one of his favourite expressions on you. "Um, the first of this guy's frat parties I went to, I drank way too much cherry vodka and did some...things. I can't even smell anything cherry-flavoured now without getting queasy." Using one arm to bashfully rub the back of your neck, you chuckle, the movement causing Seungcheol's arm to slip off your shoulders.

He looks for your eyes, which don't meet his. You didn't do that on purpose.

Did you?

"Anyway." You clear your throat and use one hand to gesture at your admirer. "This is Chan. Chan, this is Seungcheol. He's my, um..."

You look at him then, and the lack of answer hits him somewhere within his rib cage. He crosses his arms and turns to Chan. "How do you two know each other?"

He isn't used to having to ask questions like this, his reputation usually enough to deter any unwanted interactions. If this Chan guy is still standing here, though, it must mean he really, really wants to talk to you.

Chan opens his mouth, but you're faster. "Remember the destination wedding my mom's friends went to?"

Seungcheol nods. "The one where they brought you so you could watch their children?"

"Yeah." You glance at Chan, and it's almost like you're telling him something Seungcheol can't hear. "We met there."

Seungcheol's right hand grips harder onto his own arm. "I see."

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again," Chan says, ignoring Seungcheol once again. He sends you what must be a charming smile. "Especially not here."

"Funny." But you don't laugh. "I didn't think I'd see you here either."

Alright. Enough.

Seungcheol makes a show of grabbing your plastic cup and looking inside. "Let's go get you something to drink," he says, noting your confusion but having none of it. "Nothing cherry, I promise."

Because Seungcheol is the one who knows you. Knows your likes and dislikes, your favourite colours, how you prefer your eggs, the smell of your shampoo...

The face you make when he touches your bare skin. The way desire flickers in your eyes like the hot coals of a campfire.

You shake your head, pulling your cup back and holding it close to your chest. "I'm okay. Thank you."

Seungcheol's brow furrows. "I really think we should go to the kitchen."

"I'm fine, Cheol."

Lifting his hand, he places it on your forearm. "Cherry--"

At the same time as you step away from his touch, Chan steps between you and Seungcheol. "How about you go get yourself a drink?" he says, chest almost imperceptibly puffed out. "I wanted to ask Cherry something in private, anyway."

The nickname Seungcheol gave you coming off of this little shit's tongue makes him seethe. "Ask them what, exactly?" he says through his teeth.

Chan doesn't falter. "I'm sure you don't want to know."

"I'm sure I do," Seungcheol grits out.

"Guys..." you try to cut in quietly, but both boys are too caught up in each other to notice.

Scoffing in amusement, Chan shakes his head before meeting Seungcheol's glare. "Then if you need to know: I wanted to ask if they enjoyed it."

Seungcheol's jaw clenches. "'Enjoyed it'?" he echoes.

"Hey," you try again, somewhere beyond the red fog closing in on him.

"Yes," Chan answers confidently, crossing his own arms now. "If the sounds they made for me are anything to go by, I bet they really enjoyed it -- enough for a repeat performance."

Surging forward, Seungcheol clutches the collar of Chan's shirt in his fist. "Who the fuck do you think you are?"

Chan smirks, taking delight in setting him off. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Seungcheol growls, pulling his other arm back to give this guy exactly the beating he deserves, but he's half a second too late.

You shove your foot into his stomach, and he stumbles back, fingers loosening from Chan's shirt. You push Chan back by the shoulder for good measure, and when you turn back again, the anger on your face turns Seungcheol's chest inside out.

This fire in your eyes is different than he's ever seen before. Your anger is no stranger to him, from the frustrations of life and all the shit you've had to go through, but you haven't been this mad at him since...

Fuck.

Since he didn't kiss you that night.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Seungcheol?" Your shoulders rise and fall with the anger coursing through you. It's like a wall has finally fallen, the way you look at him. "You're not some rom-com bad boy. Get a hold of yourself."

Seungcheol takes a breath, holding his stomach. "Cherry..."

"What?!" You throw your hands in the air and let them fall. The hints of the brawl that almost broke out had caught the attention of some people around already, but your exasperated voice turns even more heads. "What, Seungcheol? You decided you don't want to fuck me, and after that, you decided no one else can either?"

"I... That's not..."

You huff. "I don't care. I actually just don't care anymore. You know why I didn't tell you about this? Do you know why I never talk to you about this kind of shit?"

He doesn't want to know. But he has a feeling he needs to. "Cherry..."

"Because I knew you'd react like this," you tell him, eyes cold. "Why is it that just because you won't have me, I'm not allowed to have anyone?"

When Seungcheol has no response, Chan returns himself to the picture, standing beside you and putting his hand at the small of your back.

You spin. "And you." An accusatory finger gets thrust in Chan's face, settling under his widened eyes. "If you think you're getting a" --you spit the words-- "'repeat performance' after airing out my shit like that for some dumbfuck pissing contest, you're obviously not the same Chan I met before."

Mouth opening and closing like a fish on the chopping block, Chan sputters for a few seconds before you seemingly decide you don't care about what he would have to say.

You storm off, straight to Soonyoung, whom you grab by the arm and ask to take you home. He spares one glance in Seungcheol's direction, then nods at you with concern on his face.

He knows something Seungcheol doesn't, and it makes Seungcheol want to throw up.

With you gone, the party resumes its usual chaos and volume, although Seungcheol can feel the stares from every direction. Chan disappears somewhere. He doesn't care.

Somehow, Seungcheol finds himself back on the couch. It's a lot less comfortable without you next to him.

Jeonghan sits down with a sigh. "You fucked up, didn't you?"

Sunken into the cushions, Seungcheol shuts his eyes. "I've been fucking up."

"What are you going to do about it?"

Seungcheol brings his hands up to his face, and he digs his palms into his eye sockets. "I don't know. Fuck. I don't know."

[cherrycola27]

Elementary

Summary: You are the younger sister of Natasha Trace. You've just moved to San Diego to teach 4th Grade. You never expected to fall for an older man in a Hawaiian shirt who happens to be her best friend.

Warnings: Language, Drinking. Smut, Age Gap, Daddy Kink. Minors DNI 18+

Next Part

...........................................

You'd noticed him the moment you and your friends had walked into the club. He was with a group of guys leaning up near the bar. He looked entirely out of place with his Hawiian shirt and aviators. He had a thick mustache that accentuated his almost familiar face.

He was still there when you walked up later to get a drink.

"Can I get a Titos and cran with Sprite?" You asked the bar tender. "Titos?" He commented. "Classy." He smirked before taking another sip of his beer.

You laughed before turning to him. "I'm trying not to hate myself in the morning. I spent enough time in college drinking bottom shelf shit out of a trash can in a frat house. I've done my share of hangovers. Thank you very much." You tell him.

He turns his body to face you fully. You catch the quick slip of his eyes as he scans your body.

"College? When was that? Last year?" You can't tell if he's joking or not.

"I graduated six years ago. I'm twenty-eight, not a child." You tell him. "What about you. When did you graduate Old Man? 1950?" You laugh.

"Old Man? Really? What makes you say that?" He asks you. "The 'stache and the Hawaiian shirt." You say nonchalantly.

He laughs. "Well, it's been about thirteen years since I graduated college. Didn't realize thirty-five was old." He shakes his head before finishing his drink at the same time the bartender comes back with yours. You go to hand him your card, but your new friend stops you.

"This one's on the Old Man." He winks at you.

"Thank you. You smile at him. "I'm Bradley, by the way, but everyone calls me Rooster." He puts his hand out for you to shake. You tell him your name, and then it clicks. He's one of your sisters coworkers.

She would kill you if she knew you were flirting with him, but what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

"What do you do for work, Rooster?" You asked him. You knew the answer. "I'm a Naval aviator, I fly jets and stuff." He says it so casually. "Oh, that's cool. I've got a few family members in the Navy." You tell him. That's not a lie. Your sister and your soon to be brother in law were both in the Navy. You didn't want to tell him who they were, though.

"Cool. What about you? What do you do for work?" He asks you.

"I teach. Actually, I just got hired to teach fourth grade at the elementary school near the Navy base here in San Diego." You tell him.

"No shit? I know if my teachers had been as pretty as you are, I might have paid better attention. But on a side note, I've got a couple of friends I work with whose kids are going to be in fourth grade there." He tells you.

Little does he know that those kids are your niece and nephew.

"Well, maybe I'll get to see you around then." You finish off your drink and set it on the bar, just as one of your favorite songs comes on. 'Unholy,' you thought—how fitting.

You grab him by the hand. Come dance with me, Bradley.

He happily follows you to the dance floor and pulls you flush against him as your body moves against him.

His hands have a tight grip on your hips. You turn to face him and start singing along with the music. You don't miss how his fingers did into your flesh a little harder each time the word 'Daddy' leaves your mouth.

As the song finishes, you decide to push your luck. You lean up on your tip toes and whisper in his ear. "How about be get out of here, Daddy?"

You smirk as he grabs your hand to lead you to the exit.

"Did you drive?" He asks the moment you're out of the club.

"Ubered." You tell him. "I drove, fuck, follow me." He says.

Moments later, the two of you are standing by a classic blue Bronco. You don't even have time to admire it before he pushes you up against it and kisses you roughly.

It takes all of the willpower he has not to fuck you in the parking lot.

It takes him ten minutes to get back to his bungalow. He's undressing you the minute you get through the door.

Your clothes are strung haphazardly throughout his home. It's a miracle the two of you make it to the bed. But you do. Soon, he's got you laid out before him, and his face is buried between your legs.

He eats your pussy like it's his day job, all the while his hips rut into the mattress. He makes you cum twice on his tongue and fingers.

"Condom?" He asks as he prepares to fuck you.

"Clean. On the pill." You tell him.

"I'm clean too, fuck, you want me to hit it raw?" He growls.

"Yes, please, Daddy." You tell him with hooded eyes.

As he slides into you, you know exactly why they call him Rooster. He's huge in length and girth. He's splitting you open in the most delicious way.

He fucks into you hard, fast, and deep. He takes one of his large hands and presses it on your stomach. You can feel him in there.

"Fuck, you feel how deep I am?" He ask you. You nod your head. "You like feeling Daddy so deep in this tight, perfect little pussy?" He groans.

You whine out a response as he toys with your clit.

"You gonna cum again for me baby?" He asks you. "Yes, Daddy, close!" You moan out.

"Fuck, I can tell. Can feel you clenching so hard on me. That's it darlin, be a good girl and take Daddy's cock." He tells you. Soon, you're falling over the edge, screaming for him.

"Good girl, such a good girl." He praises you.

"Baby, I'm close, where do you want me to—" He asks but you cut him off before he can finish

"Cum in me! Fill me up, Daddy!" You moan out. You don't have to tell him twice. Rooster cums and fills you up with his spend.

He collapses on the bed next to you. After a few minutes, he gets a cloth to help you clean up. You try to get up to find your clothes, but he pulls you closer to him.

"Stay, I'll make pancakes in the morning." He tells you.

You know you shouldn't, but you stay anyway.

The next morning, he does make you pancakes. The two of you get to know each other all morning, and he asks to take you out on a proper date that night.

"I can't tonight. I have to babysit my niece and nephew, but I'm free tomorrow." You tell him.

He agrees. A few hours and several orgasms later, he's dropping you off at your apartment. You have just enough time to make it look like you haven't spent the day getting fuckeswithin an inch of your life before your sister shows up with her fiancée and kids.

The doorbell rings, and Catia and Cristiano run in to greet you. "Aunty Thena!" The cry as they both hug you. You laugh at the nickname. Your sister and her fiancée and almost all of their friends were aviators with callsigns. You didn't have one but were given the honorary callsign "Thena" after the goddess Athena by your future brother in law. He claimed it was because you were both wise and scary. Even though you were barely nineteen when her sneaky link turned into her baby daddy, you were still a force to be reckoned with and wise beyond your years.

But Coyote stepped up when Nat found out she was pregnant. Their casual hook ups turned into something serious. Your parents had wanted them to get married before the twins were born, but they didn't want to get married just because Natasha was pregnant.

You supported her through her pregnancy and their relationship. You had even helped him pick out the ring.

The both of you still laugh when he tells she story about why he and the kids call you Thena.

"Cat, Cris, please don't kill your aunt before she has a chance to watch you!" Coyote scolds them as he walks into your home.

"Javy, they are just excited to see her. It's been months since she last visited. Natasha tells him as she comes in.

"Hey, little sis!" She smiles as she comes to hug you. "I'm so glad you moved out here!"

"You just like that you have a free baby sitter now." You joke with her.

Coyote laughs and shrugs his shoulders.

"Now listen up terror twins." He addresses his children. You laugh at the nickname for them. It's funny because it's true. You and the twins have gotten into a few messes together. Catia, the oldest, was definitely the mastermind, while Cristiano was, more often than not, the unwilling accomplice.

"Your mom and I will be back in a few hours to pick you up. We have to finish a few wedding things. Be good for your Aunt Thena and listen to her. It will be good practice for when you start back to school and she is your teacher." Javy tells the kids.

Both of them promised to be on their best behavior. You wave goodbye to Nat and Javy. As soon as they are gone, you and the kids are ordering pizza and finding a movie to watch.

You're careful to make sure they don't see your phone and who you are texting.

.............................

You hadn't meant for it to go this far. After your first date with Rooster, you swore you were going to tell him who you were, but you liked the idea of keeping your relationship to yourself. You didn't want to hear what Nat had to say, but honestly, it wasn't any of her business. You were an adult.

The sex with Rooster was amazing, but he was a great boyfriend, too. These had been the best six weeks of your life.

You were currently lying in bed with him after a bit of afternoon delight.

"You really are the best partner that I've had Bradley. Most guys my age last like five minutes and don't even care if I cum. But not you. To be an old man, you sure can keep up." You tease him as you prop yourself up on his chest.

"I'm a Top Gun graduate, babe. The top 1% of Naval aviators in the entire fucking nation. Longevity and stamina are hard wired into me. Don't you know the reason why everyone wants a classic car now?" He asks you. You shake your head.

"Because they can keep their motor running for much longer." He smirks before rolling you onto your back for another round.

You were still in a post sex haze when you're phone went off.

"Shit!" You shouted and jumped up. "What?" Rooster asked you.

"I'm late! I'm supposed to meet my sister for some wedding stuff. I've got to go! I'll text you later!" You shout over your shoulder as you head out the door.

...........................

You and Natasha spent the evening working on some last-minute wedding plans. Once you were done, she suggested that you, her, and Coyote go out for drinks. His parents were keeping the twins for the weekend, so they wanted to take the chance to hang out without worrying about Cat and Cris.

You thought everything would be fine. You were wrong.

Everything was fine until you pulled into the Hard Deck and noticed a familiar blue Bronco. Shit. This wasn't good.

You tried your best to stay cool. You were attempting to fire off a text to Rooster, but Nat was pulling you towards the door.

She looped her arm in yours as she walked over to the group of pilots. You spotted Rooster and his Hawiian print shirt with them. His back was to you.

"Guys! This is my sister that I told you about!" Natasha announced proudly as she introduced you to the group. Everyone smiled and greeted you.

"Bradshaw! Say hi to my little sister!" Nat said, punching him in the shoulder. You didn't miss the color draining from his face when his eyes met yours.

You smirked at him as you introduced yourself.

..............................

The evening was awkward, to say the least. You didn't miss the glances Rooster kept sending you. You did your best to avoid him, but ultimately, both of you were sent on a drink run.

You walked up to the bar to order them, with him hot on your heels.

As soon as you'd ordered them, he grabbed your arm and spun you around.

"You're Nat's sister! How could you not tell me you were her sister?" Rooster whisper shouted at you, as the two of you waited for the drinks.

"It never came up and you never asked." You replied nonchalantly.

"She's going to kill me." He groaned.

"Don't worry, Daddy, I'll make sure she doesn't." You smirked at him.

"You can't call me that!" Rooster shushed you as he looked around to make sure no one was watching the two of you.

"Why not? You weren't complaining about it earlier today when I was face down and ass up and you were pulling my hair while fucking me into you mattress." You teased him. "In fact, I'm pretty sure you said 'oh baby, your tight pussy feels so good wrapped around Daddy's cock. Come on darlin cum for Daddy. Make a mess all over him.'"

Rooster turned as red as a beet. "Why didn't you tell me? We've been dating for six weeks!" Rooster stated.

"I was afraid you wouldn't like me anymore. I liked keeping you to myself. Once people know, they give their opinions, and they put their nose where it doesn't belong. Also, do you think Nat is going to be cool with this?" You tell him.

"She's going to kill me. She's going to cut my fuel lines, or she's going to use real guns during training. I'm so dead." Rooster shook his head.

Just then, Penny appeared with the tray of drinks for everyone. Rooster picked it up and turned towards you and sighed.

"Don't worry, baby, I promise we will figure this out. Just smile and nod until it's time to go home." You tell him. "Okay." He sighs.

"Now, let's go get these drinks to them before someone comes looking for us. Don't freak out, I promise I'll take extra good care of you tonight, Daddy, when I come over." You smirk at him.

Rooster shakes his head and follows you back to the group.

You were both too caught up in your conversation to notice a certain Weapons Systems Officer who had come to get more peanuts, and who had unfortunately overheard the end of your conversation.

"Well, well, well." Bob sighed. "This isn't going to be good."

Hope you guys enjoyed this first chapter!

Tag List: @dreamingathighaltitude @shanimallina87 @luckyladycreator2 @mak-32 @katieshook02 @samhapner6 @rosiahills22 @thedroneranger @roosterforme @withahappyrefrain @sebsxphia @afterglowsb-tch13 @emorychase @hecate-steps-on-me @roosterscock

[literaryavenger]

Broken - part 2

Summary: You reach your breaking point and confront the team.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: Minimal use of Y/N. Hints to eating disorder. Language. Tony being an insensitive ass. Reader being very dramatic. A lot of yelling. Talk about Bucky's past and Tony's parent's murder. Innocent and broken Bucky. My poor attempts at being funny.

Word Count: 2.6K

Part 1

A/N: reader is absolutely dramatic in this and I love it. I can't say enough that this is my first work (second chapter, but still), I don't really know what I'm doing, but I'm trying. Also English is not my first language so pardon me for mistakes, I'm really trying not to be too repetitive in my writing and expand my vocabulary and just generally do better. Hope you enjoy!

Masterlist

After a morning of hanging out with Cassie and Scott, Cassie’s mom, Maggie, came to pick her up.

You chatted for a few minutes while Scott and Cassie gathered her stuff and, after you said your goodbye, they took off. 

"Thanks for inviting me to hang out with you guys, Cassie’s such an amazing kid." you say to Scott with a smile while you get in the elevator to the communal floor for lunch with the whole team.

"No need to thank me. Cassie loves you so much, you’re always welcome to join us." He says back as the elevator dings and you get off.

You smile at him and look around to see most of the team already at the table wrapped up in their own conversations.

You don’t have “assigned” seats, but Tony sits at the head of the table on the only side that has only one seat, while the other side has two.

It’s very important for Tony to have this seat as he thinks of himself as the head of your family, even if he doesn’t want to be the team leader.

The rest of you gather around him, usually next to the same people that you enjoy having conversations with.

Today Vision was sitting on Tony’s left side with Wanda next to him, then Pietro, whose other side was empty so Scott sat there.

On Tony’s right was Peter, then Nat and Clint, you sat on the far end leaving a seat empty between you and Clint on your left, and the two seats on the head of the table on your right, also empty, with Scott in front of you.

There are gonna be a few empty seats because Thor, Loki and Bruce were currently in New Asgard.

After a few minutes of conversation with Scott, which mostly consists on trying to come up with your next prank, Sam, Steve and Bucky join you, Sam sitting between you and Clint, Steve on your right at the head of the table with Bucky between Steve and Scott.

You notice Bucky briefly looking at Tony on the other end of the table before bowing his head and staring at the table without saying anything, while Tony stares daggers at Bucky, stopping as soon as he sees you looking.

You think it's weird, but then again you know Tony and Bucky had problems so you let it go.

"Hi, baby." Sam says to you when he sits down, giving you a kiss on the cheek.

"Hi, Sammy." you say chuckling "how you doing?"

"Very good now." he says, putting his arm around you and making you laugh again. "Where have you been all day, I’ve missed you baby."

"I’ve been staying as far away from you as I could, baby." you say jokingly, to which he makes a pretend hurt face with a big gasp that makes both you and Steve laugh. "I was hanging out with my girls."

"But Nat was training and Wanda was hanging out with Vision." Steve points out, a little confused.

"Yeah, she means Tic tac and his daughter." Sam explains while you, him and Scott laugh.

Steve then join in on your laughter and you keep joking until Wanda uses her powers to put the plates full of food on the table, with some help from Vision.

As the lunch went on you all kind of talk to everybody, joking about stupid things mostly you and Scott have done lately.

You notice Bucky is quietly eating, not joining in in any conversations and keeping his eyes on his food.

Nobody is trying to talk to him either and you're about to when you feel Steve nudging you on the arm with his elbow.

you look at him and see him look from you to your plate a couple times.

You give him a small smile and a nod and you eat a couple of bites of your food before he lets himself concentrate on the conversation once more, but not before exchanging a bit of a worried and knowing look with Wanda, which you chose to ignore because you don't want to have that conversation right now.

You bring your attention back to Bucky "So, Bucky, what did you and Cap do after I left this morning?"

As soon as you ask the question the whole table goes quiet. You look around the room and everyone is looking weirdly from you to Steve to Bucky, which confuses you a lot.

You looked back at Bucky, who is about to answer but, after giving Tony a quick glance, he shuts his mouth, deciding against it.

You look at Tony who is giving Bucky a look that if it could kill, it definitely would.

At this point you're pretty fed up with this unspoken tension and, since nobody is saying anything, you decide to address the issue yourself.

"Okay, enough is enough." you say, getting everybody’s attention on you but keeping yours on Tony and Bucky "Will somebody explain to me what the fuck is going on?"

"Language!"

"Stick a sock in it, Rogers. I’m sick of this. I’ve been patient for three fucking months. I’m done with this. You have been treating me with child gloves and it ends now. First you all just disappear for a mission leaving only me behind, then half of you come back and nobody tells me anything about everyone else and when the rest of the team came back, all of you started acting like nothing even happened, barely acknowledging Steve’s absence unless I asked, and even then you just danced around my questions. Now he’s back with someone new and not only are you all still acting like nothing happened, but all of you are being extremely rude and deliberately ignoring the poor guy!"

You point at Bucky, who turns red at the attention and looks uncomfortable, but you go on. "AND Tony hasn’t stopped looking at him like he wants to murder him where he stands! Now, somebody tell me what the fuck happened then and what has been happening for the last three months."

you look at Tony who looks like he was about to explode, but doesn't say anything.

Bucky looks uncomfortable and like he's trying very hard not to look at you.

Steve looks at you with an apologetic face and you know he's not about to tell you anything.

You look around at everyone else and they all look either shocked at your little outburst or guilty because they know you're right.

Most of them avoid your gaze and the ones that are looking at you are silently asking you to let it go.

After a few minutes of no one saying anything, you lose the last chill you had.

"FINE!" you yell, getting up and slamming your hand on the table, startling almost everybody after the uncomfortable silence you’d been sitting in.

"If you’re gonna insist on treating me like a fucking child, keeping me out of these serious business, trusting a literal child more than me," you said pointing at Peter "then maybe I should start behaving like one. Or no, you know what, better yet, since none of you trust me anyway, I should just quit this fucking team and move out!"

Without giving anyone the chance to answer you storm off towards the stairs, going straight to the smallest training room to try and calm down a little, since it’s the one no one ever uses and no one’s gonna think of looking for you there.

You get on the treadmill and started running, not stopping until you see the light from outside dim and the gym lights turn on.

You turn the machine off and as soon as you stop you feel so dizzy that you almost fall over and have to hold on to the handles of the treadmill just to keep your balance.

After a few minutes you catch your breath, then stumble towards the punching bag and start throwing punches as hard as you can, still so angry that you don't even think about wrapping your hands.

After about half an hour of angry punching your knuckles are bleeding, but you only stop when your head starts spinning and you slip on the floor out of breath while you start seeing black spots.

You feel a hand on your shoulder and when you look up you see Bucky with a very worried look on his face.

He's saying something to you but his voice is so distant you could barely hear him. You look at him confused for a second before feeling yourself slipping away and then everything goes black.

You wake up to confused yelling and your head pounding, and it takes you a second to even realize where you are. You try to sit up but have an IV on your arm that stops you.

You look around the room confused, finding the source of all the noise: Tony is very intently yelling at Bucky who's just looking at his feet, his face covered by his long hair, while Steve is trying very hard to keep Tony away from Bucky while also yelling at him to calm down.

"Let go of me Rogers, it’s HIS fault she’s here!" Tony yells "and it’s your fault he’s here in the first place!"

"Tony, you don’t know what happened, you can’t just accuse Bucky everytime something happens!" Steve yells back, struggling to keep him away from Bucky.

"LOOK AT THEM! THEY’RE BOTH COVERED IN BLOOD AND HE WAS THE ONLY ONE TO SEE HER ALL AFTERNOON, WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED TO KNOW?!" At this point you're sick of the screaming and especially of the random accusations against Bucky.

"Can you stop yelling for fuck’s sakes?" you say, even if it comes out lower and weaker than you’d like.

The three men all look at you, a little surprised and worried sick.

"Y/N! Are you ok? What did he do to you?" Tony says, getting angrier with every word, while you're just confused by his accusations.

"What are you talking about, Tony? Nobody did anything to me, I just passed out."

"You don’t have to cover for that murderer, just tell me what really happened!" murderer? What is he talking about?

You can tell he was trying not to yell too much at you since you're not the object of his anger, but his insults and his insinuating that you're lying are making you angry, a feeling that just grows when you see all the guilt and hurt in Bucky’s face at his words, which just breaks your heart.

"You want to know what happened, Stark?" you're the one yelling now "You, the whole team, pissed me off so much that I spent several hours running and hitting a punching bag so hard that I bled and then passed out from exhaustion and probably dehydration. And stop yelling at Bucky, if it wasn’t for him finding me and bringing me here I could’ve died in that gym, so you should be fucking thanking him!" you yell the last part so loudly that you think that's gonna be the end of that, but Tony has more to say.

"THANK HIM?!" he yells, his eyes open wide, almost in shock. "YOU THINK I SHOULD THANK THE MAN THAT MURDERED MY PARENTS?!" He yells so loudly that you're surprised he still had a voice to keep going.

But he did, a little quieter after seeing the shocked look on your face. "You have no idea who he is! Who he truly is… I know you love hearing stories about Steve and him in the 40s, but that’s not who he is now. It’s not who he’s been for the last 70 years!"

You're hanging on his every word, looking at Bucky’s general direction every now and then, scared to meet his eyes and have everything Tony was saying confirmed.

But that wasn’t a problem, since Bucky's back at looking at his feet, like a kid being yelled at by a parent for doing something wrong.

"He’s been under Hydra’s control all this time! He’s been taught how to be invisible, how to disappear and most importantly how to kill, in every way possible. He’s been killing people for decades, living as a ghost story, unstoppable and unbeatable. Three months ago Steve found him and set out to help him, and when half of us didn’t agree with him, we battled against each other. The half of the team that came back later had to spend some time on the Raft while we worked on their release. For Barnes it took longer, and Steve refused to leave his side. They were lucky enough to get them to release this monster, and if it was for me it never would’ve happened. So do not tell me to thank a murderer, a monster that broke my family in 1991 and almost broke it again a few months ago!"

You're shocked.

Not just because of Bucky’s past, but because of what happened three months ago.

Because of what everybody kept from you.

You feel absolutely betrayed by everybody. Everybody except Bucky, funnily enough. You're barely listening to what is being said.

You hear Steve’s "He was being mind controlled" and Tony’s "That’s all an excuse" but your attention is elsewhere.

You're looking at Bucky who is visibly trembling and, when he looks up at Steve for a few seconds because of something he says in his defense, you see his face clearly and it's wet with tears.

It absolutely breaks your heart and you make eye contact for a second before he quickly bows his head again and slowly backs away from the room, almost scared.

The two yelling men don’t even seem to notice the loss of a fourth person in the room and keep on yelling until they just keep repeating the same things, and you're done.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" you yell at the top of your lungs, leaving them instantly silent.

"I don’t care who you think he is. The man you seem to hate so much is absolutely nothing like the man that walked into the tower this morning. The man that’s been so scared to even just talk, that he keeps his head down and doesn’t make a sound unless spoken to. The man that saved my life today. The man that ran out of here is absolutely broken, and it’s 100% your fault!" you end, looking straight into Tony’s eyes.

"Y/N, Bucky’s-" Tony started, but you cut him off.

"Bucky is the only one in this tower to not have lied to me. All of you kept me in the dark on this." You're now looking at Steve. "You’re no better, Rogers. Half of the team, half of my family was in, not just any prison, but the fucking Raft, and none of you told me. Why? Why just me?" you almost whisper the question you’ve been wanting to ask for the last three months, tears flooding your eyes.

"We didn’t want to put that on you..." Steve says.

"We knew how hard it would’ve been for you to choose a side…" Tony adds.

"BULLSHIT!" you yell, startling them. "Do not give me this 'we did this for you' bullshit. You did this for yourselves, because neither of you wanted to see me choose the other one. But you know what? I don’t want to choose either of you. Now you both lost me. So I hope you’re happy, because you brought this on yourselves for lying to me for so long. I’m done!"

You get up, tears streaming down my cheeks, take the IV out of your arm and walk right out of the room while the two men watch you leave, too stunned to say anything.

Part 3

[almacambiondaughterofsaleos]

Was rewatching HB and during Stolas and Stella's argument at the end of 'the circus', Stolas says "I would feel bad if I hurt you, but we both know I didn't do that. You and I were arranged for one reason, to birth a precautionary heir to the Goetia Family. Nothing more."

I'm sorry, but this doesn't sit well with me. Stolas seems to think that because he and Stella weren't in love, his cheating didn't hurt her in any way, which is idiotic. I mean, if Stella used the same excuse, "well you didn't love me, so my insults didn't hurt you" I'm sure Stolas would rightfully find that insulting. Sure she didn't love Stolas but how can he not understand that his cheating, particularly with an imp would reflect poorly on Stella and effect her life and be horribly insulting. Yes the Goetia's classist/bigoted view of imps is wrong, but Stolas should know that by sleeping with Blitz he is pretty much saying Stella is less than an imp to him, so pretty much garbage. And he publicly continues the affair before he even starts the divorce, which only disrespects her more.

Also, Stella didn't love him either, yet she stayed faithful. No, she shouldn't have been so awful to him, but in the very least she kept up her side of the deal.

Him speaking over her, assuming what he did, didn't hurt her, even though her furious behavior clearly shows otherwise, is not something he only does to Stella. He does very similar things to his daughter and particularly Blitz.

He acts like Blitz is delusional for thinking he could possibly look down on him, despite his past actions and the society they grew up in. He assumes that because he personally didn't think he looked down on Blitz that's just the reality of the situation and invalidates his feelings. The same way he presumes he couldn't possibly have hurt Stella simply because they weren't in love, as if that alone is the only way she could have been upset by his cheating.

I mean, Stolas even tries to tell her how she feels by saying they 'both' know he didn't hurt her. Like dude, you can't just decide how your actions affected someone and considering she's been throwing things and screaming at you about how upset she is, I think that probably means you hurt her somehow. At least fucking ask how she feels and why before jumping to conclusions, particularly to a conclusion that means you don't have to feel any guilt about hurting someone.

It comes off as hypocritical when he chastises Blitzo for not feeling any remorse for what he does, but he frequently does that and even states to his wife he doesn't feel any remorse for what he did to her because he feels he didn't hurt her. Again it's easy to side with him when it's against Stella cause she's made to be a hate sink but when you notice the other people he interacts with it becomes clear that this guy has issues. It shows he's a narcissist pos who declares whose feelings he hurts and denies he's done anything that would make him look like the bad guy. Heck even before this episode in retrospect you can see how with Octavia he tries to absolve himself of what happened with the cheating incident in episode 2 because he doesn't fully understand how much this affair has affected her and still doesn't understand. It's like with Blitzo he doesn't understand what he's done is wrong to make him not believe he's sincere about a relationship and still feels entitled he should have his feelings returned. The guy really is a thick headed prick who really is far up his ass and it's no wonder Stella hates him. It's not because he's a so-called nice guy it's because he really doesn't understand people and probably would have frustrated Stella so much in their marriage. So yes, Stolas as I have been saying did hurt Stella despite his attempts at denying it because that would mean he has to be wrong for doing it and Vivziepop refuses to see anything on the cheated wife's side except make her an abuser to excuse the cheating bastard.

[shivstar]

My take on pining Prongsfoot

Often when I read prongsfoot, Sirius is shown as the guy who has been in love with his bff James Potter, who was oblivious in the best case senorio Or finding some sick kick in his friend's suffering in the worst case scenario.

Though for Sirius as a person who has been brought up in a household where he he has never been subjected to any couple which was truly perfect, it is hard for me to believe canonical Sirius being able to understand what it truly means.

So shouldn't it be the reverse? Like even if Sirius fell in love, shouldn't he be the one out of the two who can't differentiate and define his love for James as a friend and James as a romantic interest.?

James's parents were more likely in a well adjusted relationship. His upbringing in a non bigoted society would also have helped him in witnessing true love and asking questions about what it feels like to be in love and how does one know if they have fallen. Especially knowing how much of an extrovert and confident guy he was.

I know that technically most writers do it because making Sirius suffer is more fun to people these days and James remains the golden kid of the fandom whose worst suffering had been a painless young death.

But if we leave this desire for whump Sirius aside, what is your take on my take?

I know many ff you will say that Sirius was more emotionally grown up out of the two of them who just didn't give fuck about many people while James was the morally strong one.

Still seeing the devotion of canon Sirius who lost so much to Potter family as a whole. First James and then Harry. He became side character in his own story because James will remain the main character even there. His love was so absolute and unconditional that i personally find it hard to believe that he was the one who consciously knew that he is in love.

This makes me believe that Sirius will never sit and think what I want back from James. Because that is what being in a romantic relationship means. The give and take. But his utmost loyalty makes me think that he would be just happy for James and for that to be possible he has to believe himself that he loves James as a person and nothing about being in love.

Also, I don't know how many of you will agree but any real person with so much pinning and unrequited love will need to deal with it. Means having negative emotions. So if he were really pinning he would have to be either- 1) hating any person James date or 2) distance himself from James or 3) hate himself and feel insecure for being so pathetic.

And i don't think he is capable of either of the three.

Also with the level of closeness and co dependence they have. Adding along with that James's years worth of habit of picking Sirius's emotions, moods. Knowing instinctively when he is hurt or upset. Him being so much attuned to any discomfort Sirius feels because Sirius being a dark scion must have landed him in muddy Waters quite so many times among the so called light side of people. So, a scenario where James just straight up not recognizes Sirius's self acknowledgement of his change in love for James feels like it does not justice their closeness.

James on the other hand makes much better person for the piner role. Like dude just goes about dating random people knowing that Sirius doesn't feel the same.

Also it matches my head-canon that James only married because Lily got pregnant with Harry.

But even sweet is to think about a scenario where James is not only in tune with his own deep feelings but also has unimaginable trust in his love that one day Sirius will reach where he is now. He will wait and pass his time with average people. Bidding his time for the absolute best. And one day, true to James' belief, Sirius comes to his big discovery that James is his life partner in the literal sense of the word.

James being all calm and patient and letting Sirius reach there but not being in any hurry knowing that Sirius loves him one way or the other is just so them.........

[minniiaa]

(long ass post just me rambling about a new lawlu fic idea. t/w for discussion of addiction and sui attempt. feel free to keep on scrolling.)

Writing a new modern au about Law becoming an addict after Shachi, Penguin, and Bepo died in an accident coming to pick him up. It's inevitably going to be a healing LuLaw story, Luffy finding him in his apartment by sheer luck after he decided to end his life on the one-year anniversary of their deaths. Luffy is in his hospital room when he wakes up, a cute stranger who he discovers is his neighbor and also a firefighter. Luffy declares that he's going to be his friend which makes no sense to Law, why would a guy like him with such a good life want to be friends with a pathetic junkie freak who just tried to off himself? What he doesn't know is that Luffy knows what it's like to lose the most important people to you, to feel so alone and not know how you're going to go on. Only Luffy did go on. He built a new family for himself, a home, and a life where he could be happy and he wants Law to do the same.

The first chapter was one of the darker, more emotional things I've written, detailing Law's relationship with death and how he is convinced everyone he ever cares for will die because they all have died. He falls into despair and tries to die once but can't go through with it. He turns to alcohol, finding that it numbed the voices in his head that screamed at him every waking moment. So the decline begins, Law becoming a street rat alcoholic who goes to grimy bars, going home with any guy whose willing to fuck him until it hurts, the pain overwhelming everything in his head. Alcohol turns to club drugs which turn to opiates and he's just a shell of a human at this point.

I think there's beauty in the rise from your lowest low to your highest high (not a drug high, just happiness). Law needs a reason to stay. Luffy becomes that reason, someone who understands him, who he almost hates in a way because he was able to pull himself out of the trenches when Law couldn't. Law decides to get clean once he wakes up in the hospital, deciding to give life one last try before he calls it quits for good. Luffy declares he's going to be there for him every step of the way and after some thought, Law lets him only because he knows can't be alone anymore. He'll use Luffy as a crutch he clearly needs until he's fulfilled his purpose, and then he'll just dispose of him.

He's shocked to find that Luffy is just a good person, unlike anyone he's ever encountered. Sure, he's pretty brutally honest, almost chastising Law for not even trying to move on but he's totally right, Law never did try, he just gave up. He has this way of somehow just knowing how Law is feeling even without him saying a word. He brings him gifts in few days he's in the hospital, cleans his apartment that had fallen into an absolute shit hole while Law was an addict, and when Law comes home he basically just moves in even though he only lives down the hall. He doesn't want Law to be alone, to fall back into his addiction. He introduces him to his friends and is active in his treatment even going to his first NA meeting with him so he doesn't have to go by himself.

He's exactly Law's type and he's maddeningly charming, openly affectionate and flirtatious right off the bat which just confuses Law. He convinces himself that it's just the kind of person Luffy is, some people are just like that but there's no way he's actually attracted to him... right? He's still down horrendous for him from the very start though, and Luffy doesn't make this any better, sending him shirtless pictures of him and little flirty messages like 'wish you were here ;)'. (Law's a degen and Luffy is totally aware of what he's doing but he just likes Law and wants him to know it).

Their strange friendship grows and evolves while Law deals with the harsh reality of what it means for him to be sober. One day Luffy kisses him, things get intense and Law is fucking TERRIFIED. He can't care about someone again, can't watch them die like everyone else and know it's all his fault. He pushes Luffy away but he won't go. He loves Law and he's going to do anything it takes to make sure Law accepts that fucking love. He does, of course. He's wanted this from the beginning but he was just too scared of what it would mean to love someone for the first time, to admit it aloud. Law overcomes his addiction, begins to process his losses, and Luffy becomes his Reason to Stay.

(If you don't care about my personal shit feel free to stop here and enjoy this random summary headcanon thing I unintentionally wrote. This is just this week's episode of me oversharing but maybe it'll help someone who has been in similar situations idk.) I decided to write this story for purely personal reasons. About 7 years ago the person I was dating was an addict and although I did everything I could to try and get them the help they desperately needed after I saved them from overdosing the first time, but it wasn't enough and they ended up dying a few months later. I was also doing various drugs at the time, though only recreationally, and was thankfully able to stop after seeing what it did to the people around me. However, this death fucked me up and I blamed myself to the point it drove me to become an alcoholic just to help cope with the pain. Things are much better now and it took many years but I've finally been able to process everything. Writing is therapeutic for me and I always wanted to write a story about addiction and loss but I wasn't sure how it would do it. I guess I found it now?

At the end of the day, I wasn't enough of a reason for that person to stay but what if there was a world where someone was? I wanted to explore that concept with my favorite ship and somehow this beast was created in my fucked up little head. I'm looking forward to the very fulfilling and heart-warming journey of Law healing and falling in love with our favorite loyal puppy dog Luffy :)

[cherryeol04]

Might Alpha 2

➻ Pairings: Chanyeol x Reader

➻ Genre: Romance, Wolf Au

➻ Additional: destined mates

➻ Word Count: 1.5K

➻ Warnings: N/A

➻ Author’s notes: This story is cross posted on multiple sites under the same username!

The backlash that came when Baekhyun and Chanyeol denounced their marriage was something that no one expected. They knew their parents would be upset, but the sheer mortification that came from knowing Baekhyun had been with another alpha and never actually slept with Chanyeol was so confusing. The fact that the male was Baekhyun’s destined mate didn't seem to matter to anyone. 

While the elders had stayed silent, the parents argued back and forth on how they could rectify the situation, without bothering to listen to the children whose lives they were purposefully trying to ruin for the simple fact that Baekhyun was a gifted male omega with the ability to bear pups. They didn't care that they were trying to break not one, but two bonds. Bonds from the same family. 

It confused Soohee, because she remembered very clearly that Chanyeol had said the whole union between Baekhyun and himself was because they trusted Chanyeol and it was a great way for her father to get a foot into the counsel and influence decisions and laws however he saw fit.  Chanyeol was going to be the next elder and possibly the next head alpha if he could pass the tests that would challenge his strength, his logic, and his wit. And while she worried about her brother being hurt, she believed the man he was with would never hurt him since they were destined mates. And if her father still wanted that in, if he would just listen to Chanyeol, he would know that they were destined mates. 

Soohee had never told her parents or anyone else what happened that night after her party, nor the weekend and the two days after that she was in heat. They were mates, she knew that and still had trouble processing it, but it was a fact she was more than ready to admit. Yet they hadn't mated during her heat, both agreeing that they wanted to wait. Even if they used protection, there wasn't a guarantee it would work or if they would constantly remember the amount of times they would have to have sex. So Chanyeol did his best to pleasure her and help her through her heat and she was so thankful for it. But they still haven't told anyone. Or rather, they were trying, but no one was actually listening to them. 

“Well since your son has been defiled, we will find a new mate for Chanyeol. A better and loyal omega!” Mr. Park grunted out. 

“What?” Chanyeol asked in shock. 

“Excuse me? My son is very much loyal!”

“Lies. He's been defiled by that Chinese vagrant!” Mr. Park growled. “You and your family are so immoral, Mr. Byun, that I'm surprised you're all even allowed to continue to live in this pack. And if your son acts like this, I can't even begin to imagine how your daughter must be, whoring about and asking for any male to fuck her.”

“That’s enough! You are so vile and disgusting, speaking of a child like that!” Mr. Byun shouted. 

“Child?! Child?! She's of age now isn't She? But has that ever stopped her? You don't think we don't hear rumors?”

“What? Soohee, what is talking about?” Mr. Byun asked, furious by all the words being thrown around. 

“I don't know.” Soohee said. “I don't know of rumors. Dad, it's a lie.” She said. 

“Adults don't lie.” Mr. Park snapped at her and she shrunk back. Lies from an adult. She had no idea where he would ever get such information about her. She had never done anything to try and get guys. She had only ever wanted Chanyeol. And even her closest friends knew that. 

“If she says there are none, then there aren't.” Mr. Byun growled. “My daughter is perfect! Maybe it’s your son that is the issue!” He fired back. Another round of shouting began and Soohee had heard enough. She slipped out of her chair and did her best to sneak out of the meeting hall. She thought she was very successful and made it outside with a sigh. 

“For the love of god. Adults are crazy. I don't want to be an adult.” She whined softly. 

“Tell me about it.” 

Soohee jumped and looked over at her brother as he came to sit next to her. “Oppa.” She said gently. “Are you okay? Dad and Mr. Park are blowing everything out of proportion.” She said. 

“I know.” Baekhyun sighed softly and closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead gently. “Like, why are they like this? The elders always preach about destined mates and not interfering and here they are staying quiet while our parents fight to ruin our lives.” 

Soohee stared at him and sighed softly. She reached over and rubbed his back gently and smiled softly. “It'll be okay.” She said softly. “You have your mate. You should go and run off with him. They can't stop you.”

“And leave you?” Baekhyun asked softly. “Disappoint our family? I couldn't.” He said as he looked at her. 

“So you'd rather risk your bond with your mate?” Soohee asked and cocked her head. “Oppa, you're not a disappointment. And I'll be fine.”

“Because you have your mate now.” Baekhyun said and smiled weakly at her. 

“I….what?”

“Don't play dumb.” Baekhyun laughed softly. “I knew the moment I introduced you to Chanyeol that you two were mates.” He said.

“How?”

“Blue eyes are the sign that an alpha has found their mate and imprinted on them. I saw them that day. I knew and I made him promise me he would never try anything with you until you were old enough.” He said. “I had no idea that this stupid union would be done either.” He said and ran a hand through his hair some before groaning. “I don't know what to do Soohee.”

Soohee frowned as she stared at her brother and was gonna answer when another person joined them. 

“Let's go and start our own pack.” Their heads whipped around quickly and stared at Chanyeol in shock. “what?”

“What do you mean what? How can we start our own pack?” Soohee asked, confused. “That's a big task.”

“Yeah and where would we go?” Baekhyun asked and Chanyeol just shrugged. 

“Does it matter? We’ll just go somewhere. The four of us establish our own pack. We'll gather packless shifters and shifters wanting a new pack and just start over fresh.” He said. 

“Do you...do you think we can do it?” Baekhyun asked. 

“Well with Yixing as another alpha, I'm sure we can manage and grow slowly. It might be hard at first. But won't it be worth it?” Chanyeol asked. “They obviously don't care about our wants and needs. Our destinies. So we need to take our lives into our own hands.” He said. His eyes moved from Baekhyun to Soohee and he smiled. He took her hand and held it gently in his, squeezing it gently. 

“Chanyeol.” Soohee whispered softly and smiled.

“It'll be worth it.” Baekhyun agreed and smiled softly at them. “Come on. Let's go.” He said and stood. Soohee looked back at her brother and nodded. She stood, pulling at Chanyeol’s hand and making him stand. “I'll meet you two at Yixing’s. Don't take too long, okay?” He said. 

They nodded and with quick goodbyes, they parted ways, with Soohee going with Chanyeol because she just needed to be with him. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” Soohee asked as she walked towards Chanyeol’s jeep.

“No. But we have to do what we have to do.” Chanyeol said as he unlocked the doors and climbed into the driver's seat. Soohee sighed and got into the jeep, closing the door before turning to face him. 

“Chanyeol, I'm being serious. I'm still a kid. I'm fresh out of high school, just turned 18 and you want to move to some unknown place and start a pack there. It sounds crazy.” She said, “Are you sure this is something you really want?” Her question was directed towards their current decision but there was an undertone of uncertainty about their relationship. Was she really what he wanted?

Chanyeol sighed softly as he slipped the key into the ignition before turning to face her. “Soohee.” He said gently. He scooted over to her and reached out, his fingers stroking her cheeks gently. “I want to be with you, and only you. And if that means we have to go into the future blind, then I will do it. I love you.” He told her and leaned in, pressing their foreheads together gently. “I've loved you for so long and I've waited for so long. Now I have you, I don't ever want to let you go. Please. Stay with me.”

Soohee stared up into his eyes and felt her heart race at how beautiful and gorgeous they were. And probably because of his words, but mostly due to his eyes. “Of course I'll stay with you.” She said gently. “Why wouldn't I when I have been pinning after Mr. Handsome for so long.” She said with a giggle. Chanyeol smiled softly and leaned forward and kissed her softly. It was soft and quick, but she loved it all the same. 

“Then let's go. And we'll start a new life together and be happy together.” Chanyeol said gently with a smile. Soohee nodded and smiled softly as they pulled back and Chanyeol started the jeep. 

“Everything will be okay, right?” she asked. 

“Of course. Trust me.” 

~*~

“Dad, no! Stop it! Let me go!” Soohee shouted as she struggled in the grips of a few of the male wolves her father had dragged with him. She wasn't sure how they knew their plans or how to find them, but they did. It was probably just their keen sense of smell. That was the only possible reason she could think of, of how they found them this far out of the city. 

“I would expect this kind of thing from Baekhyun, but you? Why Soohee? Why are you going to associate yourselves with these rebels?” Mr. Byun asked as he motioned to her brother. His mate and Chanyeol, all of whom were being detained as well. Though it was taking more people to hold Chanyeol back as he was being scolded so loudly by his father. She could hear every nasty word he was calling her and her brother and she just couldn't take anymore. “Soohee! Answer me!” 

“He's my mate!” the words fell from her lips before she could even stop to fully process her train of thought. The announcement seemed to draw the attention of everyone as they all went silent. 

“Excuse me?” Mr. Park asked, eyes wide. 

“Chanyeol is my mate.” She said softly and jerked herself from the slacking grips of the men. “He is mine, and Baekhyun has found his and the rest of you are acting like spoiled little children!”

“Soohee!” 

“No dad! It's true. You all are supposed to be adults, filled with wisdom that's supposed to help guide your children as they become adults and start their own family. And here you both are, two families that don't give a shit about their own children and are just obsessed with whatever power they can have!” She sneered, disgusted. 

“Byun, put a stop to her before I do.” Mr. Park warned, but was greeted with a very angry growled and rough shove as Chanyeol tore himself from the four men holding him back. Their strength together was nowhere near a match for Chanyeol’s strength when he really used it, like he had in this case. 

“You won't touch her.” Chanyeol growled out as he moved to Soohee and pulled her close to him, his arm wrapped tightly around her waist to protect her. “And she's right. Ever since it was announced what my future status would be, all you or anyone else has ever cared about was that. You held me so high up on a pedestal, out of the reach for anyone you deemed unworthy. You never stopped to ask what I wanted or if I've found my mate. Well, dad, I have. And it's not Baekhyun. It was never Baekhyun and it would be selfish and wrong of me to try and keep him from his own mate.”

“Chanyeol.” Mr. Park floundered for words to speak, but he couldn't even form a decent, coherent sentence. 

“We know who we love, who we are meant to be with, and what we're doing is the only way we can be with them. So either you accept this reality or step aside and let us leave.” Everyone was silent for a long while, staring at the two before looking at the two fathers. 

“Soohee...there was an agreement…”

“And it can still be upheld. Just not with Baekhyun, but me instead. You can still have whatever it is you want. And the rest of us can be happy. The last thing I've ever wanted to do is leave you and mom but I can't live without him. I don't want to feel our bond break. It'll kill me.” she said softly. 

“Don't be so dramatic, it won't kill you if…” Mr. Park started but paused. “You haven't marked her, have you?”

Chanyeol stared at his father intently before moving his hand and lifting her shirt slightly to show the mark he had left on her side. “Three weeks ago, when she went into heat,” he said proudly. “She is mine. Forever.” he announced and pulled her closer as he leaned down slightly to nuzzle her head. 

“Dad please.” Baekhyun whispered. “Just let us be happy.”

Mr. Byun looked between his two children and sighed heavily. “We can't fight it now. A bond has been made, I assume for both of them. The elders wouldn’t take too kindly if we destroyed them for selfish reasons.” he sighed. “And it would hurt me to hurt my children, I should have realized that from the beginning.” he said and walked over to Baekhyun as he was finally released. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Baekhyun said and smiled. “There is no denying, he is the one.” he said and looked over at Yixing. Mr. Byun sighed, nodded and looked over, waving his hand in signal for Yixing to be released. The silent alpha moved to Baekhyun and hugged him tightly, nuzzling against his neck. 

“I suppose I have two unions to prepare for now.” Mr. Byun smiled. “Let's get you all home before your mothers have a fit.”

“Oh...yeah.” Mr. Park cleared his throat. “Chanyeol, I'll need you to-”

“Yeah dad. Don't worry. I'll call her down.” Chanyeol laughed. It was funny to see such a composed man cower in fear at the mention of his angry wife. 

~*~

Soohee smiled as she flopped back on her bed, a laugh leaving her as Chanyeol stumbled out of his pants, hopping around to try and kick off the offending garments before finally flinging it across her room. It hit her closed door and he winced before climbing into her bed. “Are you new to taking off pants?” she asked teasingly. 

“Oh shut up.” Chanyeol chuckled as he laid down next to her and stared at her face. “It's not my fault you have me tripping over my feet.” he teased and chuckled as she blushed. “You're so cute. You know that?” he asked as he reached out and stroked her head and cheek lightly. 

“I can't help but to know it. You tell me all the time.” she said gently as she leaned into the touch. Sighing softly, she leaned in and kissed him, her lips brushing teasingly over his lips every time he dipped in to try and deepen the kiss. A soft giggle left her, followed by Chanyeol’s own growl as he nipped at her bottom lip as Soohee pulled completely back. 

“You are such a tease.” Chanyeol groaned and pouted as he stared at her smiling face. “Soohee.” he whined out and Soohee giggled at it. She reached up and poked his nose lightly. 

“What?” she asked with a smirk. 

“I want a kiss.”

“You just had a kiss.”

“I want another.” he said as he slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her close to him. 

“Don't be greedy.” she teased and Chanyeol huffed. “Oh, aren't you so cute?” she said and pinched his cheek lightly. 

Chanyeol stared at her with narrowed eyes and huffed again before he leaned in and captured her lips in a deep and passionate kiss. Soohee giggled slightly into the kiss before melting into it, pressing herself against him tightly. Everything just felt so right. She finally had the man of her dreams, she could openly be with him and start working on their future together and that excited her. Her future was with Chanyeol and hopefully with some children as well. 

[sspidrwebz]

so theres this spidergwen fan song and let me fucking tell you guys

it goes. so fucking hard. oh my god. bloody fucking hell.

yapping under the cut

Where are the people whose love is unconditional Let family down, and they want me gone a criminal

holy shit?? family issues is a huge part of the reason im a gwen kinnie and just.. hit hard

Dropping the ball so much, it's wild, I'm in the game Then I remember multiverses know my name, uh

slay.

Not a photo, I'm a Ghost, go find me up in the air I'm a kid pro, I get in your head, there a big joke, never catch me yet

flow goes hard. lyrics go hard.

Tell me I'm wrong when I hear y'all say a hero is a person you want dead Moving so slow, when I win go next, saving all those who give no respect

the bullshit she goes through and nobody even thanks her or anything. spiderman is loved. miles is loved. why cant she be??

Demonize me in your mind Just one truth, it's yours not mine When I leave it's 'cause it's time To heal

this applies to so many communities in real life, its insane the discrimination. queer people, poc people, neurodivergent people, the list goes on. i think the last line is in reference to when she runs away, that hurt.

The hurt I've dealt with all these years To you must seem like teenage tears The ones I loved have so much hate For this side of me

ohhh god right in the heart. the biases between generations. the homophobia/transphobia coding...

I'm done with all the fear and pain, the sorrow, the sorrow I'd slam the doors and scream until you'd follow, but there's no lifeline I know I've made my choices, my mistakes over and over, over But I'll fight until I can't see a tomorrow to do it differently this time

its me its so me. such a common sentiment for any queer teenager honestly oh my god.

Doing my best all the time, and it ends up with them falling Always guessing does it count if I'm lost at my true calling

oh gwen baby... me too, relationships and trust issues it sucks ass

Maybe it changed along the way am I delusional? Bad for everyone, my actions always prove it all

this song reminds me of just how much i relate to her :[[

Let me sink 'till I'm too deep Keeping warm in memories If I go, one day you'll see What you've thrown away

its giving sad teen poetry, feels like she genuinely wrote this. i feel like ive written something very similar before.

[chorus] Think you'll stop me? Good or bad, it haunts me Past the point of caring, they see someone that's long gone in my face

fucking try to tell me gwen isnt trans when that latter line exist, tell me right now. i relate too hard to that one [im cis, i just mean it in a diff way]

Take the rules and bend them 'till I shatter them all Can't help it because

fuck the awful fucking rules man do what you need to, thats beautiful

[chorus]

-

anyways yeah im so in love with this song, thanks @halacg for this absolutely lovely and powerful piece

[timetravelingsherlockian]

A System (TM): The non-definitive guide for dealing with dysphoria regardless of medical choices

Someone asked how one deals with dysphoria. The comment was too long for the reply box.

Long comment incoming...I have some gender fluidity going on, so I get buffeted from both sides (likely I tend towards masc, so it doesn't hit too hard).

I...uh...perform a good bit of mental jujitsu on the thoughts. It's gotta get through multiple layers of pre-prepared lifestyle choices, cognitive-behavioral thinking, mindfulness, rationalization, cultivating patience, disassociation, and spite before it really hits me.

Lifestyle Choices:

I'm out everywhere. If someone calls me something else or treats me in another way, they're either misinformed or being dicks about it. If they're the former, I either correct or move on with my day. If the latter, not worth my time. Any hurt I instill in myself from their dickishness is me brandishing their weapon against myself. Moving on.

Keep your friends supportive and your family as supportive as possible. If they can't be supportive, they don't get to know your business.

Don't explain shit.

I don't wear anything that makes me uncomfortable, and I wear the things I wish I wore when I was younger. All the dresses are out of my closet. None of the pants are too tight, and I have a few cut in a masc style, when I feel like it. My clothes don't cling in ways I'm not happy with. I have the good ol' standby dysphoria sweatshirt.

I get any aids I need to for myself. I go to a barber shop for my hair, and I make sure to get it cut when it's long. I've got a binder if I need it, packers, mascara in my cabinet drawer for facial hair. Pronoun pins (that I never wear, but it's nice to have them in my pocket to touch). I carry a knife like a lot of guys where I'm from do.

I try to keep everything else in my life in-shape. Think about dysphoria like a bad knee. If you don't get enough sleep, or you're eating garbage, or you're overtaxing yourself -- that knee's gonna hurt first, before anything else, because it's sensitive. If I'm getting a really bad bout, I check in with everything else first.

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy:

I check disturbing thoughts against questions like, "if a friend told me this, what would I say to them?" "is the thought reasonable?"

If I spot words like "always" or "never", I flag them & try to re-word them in a less-extreme way, and I bring up counter-examples. E.g. "You'll never pass." becomes "are you sure, never*? That seems a bit harsh.* [check the facts] Even cisgender people get mistaken for the other gender, so even random chance says it'll happen at least once." >> "I'll almost-never pass." >> "Are you sure? Because the guy at the coffee shop says 'hey man!' every time you walk in. He's either clocked you (thus, you're being encouraged & accepted) or he genuinely thinks there's a man in there, somewhere." >> etc.

I think back to other times I've had the thought/experience and survived it. E.g. "What if I'm not really trans?" >> "...dude. You've been asking yourself that for around 3 years. You asked yourself that, then some cashier called you 'sir' and you clung to that in your little heart for most of the morning like a starving man with bread. That is not very cisgender behavior. Don't you think it would've worn off by now?"

I seek out others' diverse experiences. E.g. I feel embarrassed sometimes about sewing, but I know a guy whose literal degree is in costuming. I ain't calling him less of a man for that. Why am I bringing that on myself?

How is this thought functioning in my head? E.g. If I call myself pathetic, do I really think I'm pathetic, or do I want to curl up and sleep and "pathetic" is the quickest way to demotivate me to my bed? Why not not call myself "pathetic", and just treat myself nice and rest instead?

Mindfulness:

"It's just a thought." "It's just a sensation." "This is a sensation [reflect back the sensation to the spot of the sensation, so it knows you heard it]." Know that a thought or sensation is independent of a gender. (Gender is like "the flame unbound.")

Watch the sensation, feel the way your body reacts to it, and don't feed the beast. Just watch. Imagine yourself in a zoo, with a nice big trench between you and the animals. The flesh and thoughts will do their own thing, but you're safely protected from them.

Reality is reality is reality. As Galileo said, when the church insisted their doctrine otherwise, "and yet, it moves." You can think whatever thoughts you have. Other people can say any words they can form their mouths around. Your body can shiver and throb and become nauseated and ache -- None of these change what your gender is. Your gender is the vessel (which sometimes may change itself), and the experiences flow through it.

Rationalization:

"This is dysphoria. This is just what happens when you're brain's expecting one thing and your body's expecting something else."

"It sucks, but you're going to have to deal with it for X long, so you might as well try not to suffer twice by feeding into it."

"Yeah, sometimes it's gonna hurt and/or feel humiliating. Oh well. That's not gonna change your gender; you have other things to worry about."

"My gender can take care of itself right now."

Cultivating Patience:

This is going to take X number of years, or I'm going to have to live with a certain thing for t long. That's just the way things work.

No body is stagnant and without change. No perception is stagnant and without change. Ergo, this feeling of dysphoria, as are all things, is temporary.

See how you feel in 10 minutes/30 minutes/the afternoon/tomorrow. And then you can use an additional coping skill. (My genderfluidity makes this one even more flexible, but thoughts and feelings are themselves mercurial.)

Disassociation:

Read a book.

Scroll through social media (generally not trans content, because that can feed it, but sometimes trans content).

Write.

Walk outside.

Do some laundry.

Vacuum (I hate the vacuum noise, but now I'm bitching about that instead).

Deal with the other aforementioned life tasks that have you stuck here.

Sleep.

Give yourself some time to laze around in bed and just drift.

Go find some friends or call your most-talkative friend with a bunch of petty problems (when you're around other people, you can focus on them and not your gender).

Spite:

I know that there are trans people who've lost years of their lives because of the pain their dysphoria has caused them. I've lost evenings/afternoons/experiences from it too. I have no idea what my middleschool and highschool life would've been if I'd just known, or not had to deal with it. That being said, I'll be damned if it keeps me in bed and losing my life.Sometimes that means showering with my eyes open and the lights on when I don't want to (sometimes, what I see isn't that bad, and it's my head that was worse). Sometimes that means forcing myself out of bed and stumbling around in my comfort hoodie and sweats with my head down -- but at least I'm getting groceries or something.

People who hate trans people getting healthcare generally want to see us go away/disappear/not exist -- some folks by any means necessary. Them holding up care is to make our lives harder and for us to go away. Fuck them. Fuck the state systems. I'm not spending 2+ years bemoaning not looking or sounding like I want to stay home and not do something, just because I'm going to have to wait.

This is a system I've built up over a number of years, listening to bunches of trans peoples' experiences, and going to school for actual psychology. But it works pretty well, and I started at a low-dysphoria place to begin with, so I've been able to tackle symptoms as they've arisen, largely.

(I just realized this is the meme where the ADHD person says they don't have trouble with losing things because they have A System, and the neurotypical person has no idea what A System is...and the A System is itself a signal the person has ADHD. So. I don't have dysphoria. I have A System.)

I will say the dysphoria I deal with now isn't from the same sources I've dealt with in the past, largely. A number of sources I didn't realize made me dysphoric until they went away (or I'd quietly phased them out of my life without realizing it). I also like what Abigail Thorn says about dysphoria: It doesn't exist. Not that the sensations or dissatisfaction isn't there, but that the gap between who one imagines themself to be and who one is is a gap all people have to deal with, not just trans people. Cis people feel the same sort of self-consciousness when a cis woman grows hair on her face as a trans woman. You are not alone, and the systems and circumstances of history have merely added different labels to the universal struggles.

And then I like to pay attention to what does make me happy.

[dulcewrites]

Can't wait for reader to confront Aemond and Alys🤭🤭🤭

Y’all asked so you shall receive 🙏🏽. I actually changed how I wanted this to go… just disregard the alys thing I posted yesterday 💀

Should’ve, Could’ve, Would’ve

Quinton knows something is wrong when he hears commotion coming from the rehearsal room.

“You really expect me to believe that bullshit ass excuse?”

He pauses when he hears the familiar voice ring out. He turns the corner to see you stand there, arms cross defensively. Helaena, teary eyed, blocking your path.

“We didn’t know for sure,” she pleads.

“You didn’t know, but had a feeling,” you scoff. “You didn’t know, but didn’t care enough to ask or tell me. You all are just as cowardly as they are.”

Your eyes go from Helaena to him. Disappointment and hurt coloring your eyes.

“I would choose you over everyone?”

You throw his words back in his face, but he meant them. It doesn’t mean much now but the only reason he’s even stayed in this band is for you. To be around you. Perhaps that was his first mistake; sticking around when he knew it was just a matter of time before he hurt you was a bad idea from the start. It was always going to be you versus the band, even when it shouldn’t be.

You shake your head, moving past Helaena.

“This was my fault,” your let out a mirthless laugh. “Trust any of you was my fault.”

Quinton wants to say something. But what does one say when in a situation like this.

I’m sorry.

You deserve better.

I love you

— — —

Aemond finds her standing on the stage, looking out to the empty.

“Still doing this before every show?”

Alys jumps slightly before smiling once she sees it’s Aemond. She shrugs, before taking off her guitar and putting on the designated stand on the stage.

“Force of habit,” she tucks a stray tendril of black hair behind her ear. “Still a bit unbelievable.”

Aemond nods, understanding what she means. He takes a couple steps closer. Alys instinctively lifts her chin, green eyes going to his lips. Before their lips can meet, the sound of a side door opening and slamming shut breaks through the air. Alys eyes go from Aemond, to behind him; color drains her face a bit. Skittishly, she steps back.

“Oh, don’t stop on my account.”

The voice makes the hairs on Aemond’s neck and arms stand up. He turns to see you standing there. You push your sunglasses up to the top of your head; bloodshot eyes, tear strained cheeks.

“Baby..”

“Baby,” you ask with a maniacal laugh. “Are you talk to me or her.”

Aemond palms begin to itch. It’s the same feeling he used to get when him and Aegon would get trouble. The fire in Alicent’s eyes used to make him feel like a rash was going to break out across his body. The disappointment or annoyance he saw in his mother’s big brown eyes is nothing compared to the contempt he sees in yours right now.

You pull open the envelope that was in your hand, and pull out notebook paper.

“I really hope you guys aren’t releasing any of these songs,” you flick through the pieces of paper. “It’s not your best work, sweetheart.”

You crumble the papers and toss them at him. Then pick out photos. Aemond open his mouth to speak, and you raise your hand in anger.

“You know, I think the worst part of all of this is that it is clear you two think that I’m stupid. So comfortable in your bliss to do this in public, thinking I wouldn’t find out.”

“If you just let me explain,” Aemond tries to take a step towards you.

“What is there explain,” you yell. “What?? That you were just so lonely that you needed to get your dick wet whatever way you could.”

Your eyes travel to Alys, whose eyes are brimmed with guilt and tears.

“But I do hope it is was worth it, whatever you did with him. What people will say and think about you, what you will think of your yourself, what you did to a family…what you did to me. I hope it was worth it.”

Alys looks down, but doesn’t say anything. No denial nor admittance; no apology. But the silence is enough to give you an answer. Frankly, you find Alys too old for this level of cowardice.

You look back at Aemond.

“Make sure you have a place to stay when you get back,” you toss the photos of them to the ground. “You’re not staying with me, and certainly not with Daella.”

You turn to leave and feel Aemond reach for you hand.

“Don’t touch me,” you hiss. You look at him for a moment. “After everything I’ve done for you, with you…”

You can’t even finish the sentence. It was supposed to be you and him till the end, and now you can barely take being in the same room with him.

You spend the red eye you get to go back home choking back tears. By the time you make it back to the apartment, your head hurts from it all.

The sun is beginning to rise by the time you walk through the door.

“Mommmyyyy!”

The pitter patter of small feet runs towards the door. You crouch down and pull her into a hug. You close your eyes; she smells like her lavender bubble bath. Despite yourself, a couple tears fall.

“What’s wrong,” she pouts, tiny hands grabbing the sides of your face. You look at her freckles, and her nose; she looks so much like her father in that moment that it hurts.

“Nothing,” you try to smile. “Mommy just missed you.”

Alicent walks down the hall from the corner. She frowns at your state.

“Honey, why don’t you go finish your breakfast. Let your mom get settled.”

Daella gives you one last curious look before listening to her grandma and scurrying back down the hall towards the kitchen.

“What happened,” Alicent whispers, leaning down to where you are.

You don’t know how to tell her. This woman who has been nothing but supportive to you. How do you tell a mother that her son is a cheater? When you don’t answer, she gently pushes your messy baby hairs from your face.

“Whatever it is, I’m sure we can fix it.”

How does one mend a broken heart?

[crimsonfluidessence]

Prompt 10: Stable

Esredes didn't like Red Chocobos. It was hard to take a liking to them when one of them almost crushed him with a meteor. He could move the earth, sure, but he could not stop a meteor coming towards him that came down out of nowhere. Were it not for Elouan's timely intervention with his paladin magicks, Esredes most definitely would have died that day while chasing down a traitor to himself and Ishgard both.

Needless to say. he never wanted to be around one again. There was a small problem with this plan, though: He lived in Ishgard. He knew more than a few people who owned stables, including Rousseau, the half Miqo'te noble sent to his counseling practice by the court whose family owned a Chocobo business. Stables, porting services, the usual nine yards- and now, it seemed, he came to him as he announced winning a local racing tourney. Naturally, Esredes suggested he go further. Take it to the Gold Saucer where he used to work and make more of a name for himself. "I'd certainly feel better without all those prying eyes," Rousseau had to say to that. "The rumor mill here is killer. Even if it was a casual thing within the city, word travels too Fury damned fast." "Hence you see my point." Esredes smirked at him. "That'll be 500 gil." Rousseau snorted and clasped a hand over his mouth as he laughed. "Well-I don't know about that-but I can offer to show you some chocobo chicks for your time?" "Heh, ah, I still haven't seen them, have I. I wouldn't turn it down." Rousseau smiled wide up at him. "You haven't, and that's a crime around here yunno-evading chocobo hatchling pets is a serious offense!" Esredes chuckled. "Oh no, I can't go back to jail..." Rousseau waved a hand. "Come on, stables are this way."

When he followed him into the stables, they were both beset immediately by an army of little bundles of feathers running amok in a chorus of 'Kweh!'. They tumbled over one another in the most inelegant fashion possible. "Oh gods..." Esredes was careful to watch his footing. "Look at them. You have so many..." Rousseau chuckled. "Aren't they the cutest? Feel free to pick one up, they're usually pretty friendly. They nip a bit out of curiosity but not enough to hurt." He snickered, scooping one up into his arms. "Hey there lil guy." He crooned while tickling the chick that squirmed and sang in response. Esredes carefully watched the chicks run around, bending down with his arms poised until one crossed right into his path, and he scooped it up! It tried to bite his forearms, but he chuckled as he steadied it in his hold. "Do they have names?" Rousseau shook his head. "Not yet! I've given a few of them nicknames so I can differentiate, but we usually try not to give anything that'll stick until they either have owners, or get a bit older." He smiled at the chicks, but a small peep from behind the nearby pillar dropped his expression to a nervous one. "So does this one have a nickname, at least?" Esredes smiled at Rousseau, but it quickly dropped as he read his face. "...What's wrong?" "Huh? Oh! Yeah, that one is..." He looked her over. "Ah, that's eggshell! She had her shell stuck to her for a few days after hatching, wouldn't let anybody take it off, wore it like lil pants." Rousseau chuckled again, making a shooing motion at whatever was behind the pillar and setting the hatchling he was carrying down. And that was when, with a peep, a tuft of red feathers poked out from behind the pillar. "Tootie... I can't-not right now hun-please-"

Esredes' eyes went wide and he felt his blood run cold at the mere glimpse of red feathers. He took a step back towards the exit, even though he still held a chick. Rousseau's expression was laden with guilt at the crying of the chick, and he looked over to Esredes with a sigh. "I-I'm sorry, I know you don't like them but..." He scooped the red hatchling into his arms, trying to shield Esredes from the sight of her. "She always does this, cries until somebody holds her. Think she has separation anxiety a lot like her mom." "Poor thing," Esredes said with hesitation, holding Eggshell close in his arms, who crooned and nuzzled closer to him, soon falling asleep against him. But he didn't take his eyes off the red one. "Aw, c'mon. Tootie doesn't even know how to hold her head up without stumblin, she isn't gonna hurt you or Egg." Rousseau spoke gently, the red hatchling trilling and poking its big eyes out from over his arm. "Not now, I certainly hope. But what about when she grows up?" Rousseau pouted a little. "Well by that point she'll have been raised with enough love and care not to go setting fire to anything that scares her-like I told you before, they need to be really stressed out for that... or severely under stimulated. Either way, if she or any of these birds hurt anyone, it'd mean I failed to train 'em properly." "...I would certainly hope so." Esredes acquiesced. "You would know what you're doing more than myself." Rousseau fixed him with a reassuring look. "...You know, she's real affectionate. Love other people... if you wanted to actually see a red... she's probably the best chance you'll get." The bird was staring directly at him now, her big, dark eyes shining in the light. But Esredes looked down at the sleeping bundle of feathers in his arms and then back to her. "...I appear to have a present conundrum." Rousseau looked between the two chicks and slowly smiled at Esredes. "I... have an idea?" He stepped forward, slowly, until he reached Esredes, offering up the wiggling bird to the Elezen. "Trade?" "Uh... is she going to like that?" Rousseau hummed. "Egg sleeps like a rock, so I doubt she'll wake-but if you meant Tootie-" He looked to her. "I think... she might think you're family, not gonna lie." He nodded toward the sheer amount of red on the man. Indeed, the bird seemed to be clambering to try and get to the man.

"...I guess there are worse things I can be than a mother Chocobo." He carefully moved his hands out to make the exchange, handing off Eggshell as Tootie slid into his arms and immediately snuggled up into them with a happy coo. Esredes was tense as he held her, but he was holding her securely. "Is she going to fall asleep too." He asked. Rousseau managed to suppress his laugh this time. "I wouldn't be surprised. She seems to feel pretty safe with you." He beamed at Esredes. "She really does think you're her mom... I wonder if it's just the coat or if your hair helps?" He murmured. "...I imagine neither help me to not look like a Chocobo, do they?" "You are pretty red. And she seems to like it... how you holdin up though?" Esredes looked down at the chick. "...Fine." "Good, if it's too much just let me know, yeah?" "I just worry if she's, uh. You said she had separation anxiety." "Yeah, she cries pretty hard if she doesn't see somebody she likes around. It can make it hard when we need to check up on her and I'm busy elsewhere. She really doesn't like Reimus." He snorted again. "Good." Esredes remarked. He didn't like Rousseau's high maintenance and in his own head younger brother either. "She has common sense." Rousseau nodded. "Oh yeah, she's a pretty good judge of character." The bird crooned and practically wagged her tail as she blinked up at Esredes. Esredes couldn't help but smile down at her. "Really?" He asks Rousseau. "Do you have any other stories?" Rousseau tapped his chin in thought. "Hmm, there was that one time she wouldn't stop hissing at a bush outside... I couldn't figure out what was bothering her, every time I went out to check, it was empty... Until one day I found one my my letters that'd gone missing, out by the green, opened and everything." He waggled his fingers. "Not the first time my mails been stolen, but I think she found the one responsible n scared 'em off." "...Wow." Esredes said. "That's... actually pretty incredible." He looked back down at Tootie. And she thought Esredes was her mother now. "They probably saw the red and thought what-well-everyone thinks." He sighed. "Scary red chocobo, it's gonna attack me, I better run." Rousseau shrugged, petting the sleeping Egg. "In this case it just happened to help. No more missing letters-so far at least." Tootie trilled, as if she too, was proud of this feat and knew they were discussing it. "A real guard... Chocobo. Guard chocobo. It's a shame you're not keeping her." Rousseau snorted again. "By the Fury-you're right. She would make a good guard chocobo." He grinned. "Oh, the red aren't for sale. I-well I couldn't part with Knife's like that, at least. Maybe if they were a friend, but they aren't a part of our listed stock." His expression grew awkward. "Not to mention... they aren't exactly purebred. I-I /think/ the dad was a Blackfeather? I can't be sure though. The second I got to Coerthas she just-" He waved vaguely to Tootie. "Hm? She just what?" "Had a bunch of chicks. Didn't even realize she'd taken to nesting because of how she hunkers down in places most of the time. I panicked trying to get them all registered, the last thing I wanted was the knights busting in and taking them." "Oh. Oh dear..."

As they chatted, Rosseau rocked Eggshell in his arms and watched Tootie play with a shiny bit of metal on Esredes' coat, to which he was most certainly not stopping her. "...If you don't mind me asking... why the reaction to them? I mean, I know they can be scary because of the rumors but, you seemed to be more on edge than most." Esredes stared at him blankly. "...I've seen what they can do." Rousseau pursed his lips. "Ah, of course. Sorry I... shouldn't go digging for bad memories. It probably wasn't a very good experience, yeah?" "No. I almost died." His brows shot up. "Almost-Fury, man. M'glad to see you didn't..." He shook his head. "Was it just some bad luck you ran into or-no-nope, sorry, I said I wouldn't dig. You don't have to answer that." "If only. No, someone was trying to kill me. Using the bird." "Trying to... wh-" His jaw dropped. "How someone could use an animal like that... and try to kill you of all-I swear some monsters..." Rousseau could barely bite back his usual temper, hugging the bird in his arms just a bit closer. "I hope they got the bastard at least." "They did. But, yes. That is why." Rousseau sighed in relief. "That poor animal... poor you! Ugh, what in the hells is wrong with some people? M'sorry you had to go through it." "I ponder the same. But for all I do in that room I can only come to the same conclusions." Rousseau nodded. "Well, given all that happened, you're doing amazing with Tootie, here." "Oh... thank you?" Esredes looked down at her. "I'm glad to hear that."

Another smile crept onto his face. No, he didn't like red Chocobos. But Tootie, he decided, could stay. At the very least, there was Tootie now, and he'd be a proud surrogate Chocobo mother.

[i-didnt-do-1t]

Can I get an order of uhh "everyone knows you can't keep a secret." from the Secret prompts please? Obvs with my fave guy Elmer but this time perhaps also with Jack?👀

Maybe even a guest appearance from Pierogi-?

I decided to make this one sad! I hope you enjoy :D

“Hey Elmer.”

The kid looked up at him from where he sat on the cobble stone street out the front of the lodging house. It was late, and it was dark and his face was shrouded in shadows. Jack frowned at the way it made his cheeks gaunt, his eyes deep set and dark. He looked tired in a way none of the kids should look tired. Like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

It was unusual, Jack had never seen Elmer worried about anything.

Maybe he just hadn’t been looking.

“Oh, hi Jack.”

Jack lowered himself to the ground next to him, but the kid didn’t spare him a second glance, tucking his head a little further down, gaze fixated on the cobbles beneath their feet.

“Wanna tell me what’s wrong with you?” Jack said, voice something soft and gentle. Something that wouldn’t disturb the quiet that had settled in with the evening.

Elmer drew his knees a little closer to his chest and that’s when Jack noticed Pierogi curled up in a ball under the arch of his knees, sleeping.

“No.”

“How come?”

“It’s stupid.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. And everyone knows you can’t keep a secret.”

Jack rolled his eyes but nodded anyway. “Oh, so it’s a secret thing?”

“Yeah. It’s a secret thing.”

He nudged his side with his elbow, hoping it was soft enough to not wake up the cat, hoping it was hard enough to get Elmer to do it back. It was odd seeing him like this, disconcerting to see him so quiet, so subdued.

(He didn’t do it back.)

“Y’know secret things are less fun when they’re making you look all sad Elmer.” He prompted

“It’s not my secret to tell.”

“Whose is it?”

Elmer sighed, tightened the grip of his hands around his arms, pulled himself in tighter.

“My big brothers.”

Jack tilted his head to the side and stared up at the darkening sky and the stars beginning to peak through the blanket of navy. He wondered briefly about Sante Fe, about what the stars looked like there, wondered if they’d be brighter. And then shook the thought from his head.

“I ain’t ever met any of your family.”

Elmer snorted. “You’re lucky.”

“You think?”

“I don’t-“ Elmer made a noise of annoyance and turned away from him, picking at the skin around his fingernails that Jack noticed were already red and cracked, nails bitten down to their beds. “I don’t think they like me very much. My big brothers.”

Jack frowned. “Elmer, I’m sure that ain’t true.”

“What would you know? You ain’t got no family.”

Oh.

Jack bit his tongue. Resisted the urge to pull his hat down low over his face and stand up and leave-

“Sorry. I don’t mean-“

Jack cut him off. “If I didn’t have family what’re you guys huh?” He nudged him gently with his elbow, swallowing the hurt. “If you ain’t gettin’ on with your big brothers at home you got all the guys here, you know that.”

Elmer finally looked at him again, eyes wet, cheeks shining in the low light of the evening.

Somehow Jack hadn’t noticed he’d been crying. How hadn’t he noticed the kid had been crying?

“Thanks Jack.”

Jack reached over and ruffled his hair. Elmer didn’t even try and duck away like he usually did.

“No problem kid.” He should be better at this by now. After so long of looking after people he should be better at this. “You wanna head back inside?”

“Not yet.”

“Okay.” Jack shifted against the wall, getting a little more comfortable. “It’s nice night for it anyway right?”

And Elmer smiled at him, something tired and stressed and Jack couldn’t help but wonder what he wasn’t saying but he smiled back all the same, didn’t push. He knew he hated it when people pushed him.

“Yeah.” Elmer let out a sigh, deep and one that sounded like it had been held in for far too long. “It’s a nice night.”