#guess who looked up a cloak reference lmao

[i-eat-deodorant]

What are your headcanons about the red fox and where he comes from/his nature?

dear anon, i am very glad you asked about fox. he’s one of my top three favourite characters (other than narinder and lamb, because…yeah) and i have quite a bit of brainrot on him 

first of all, i headcanon that he’s TOWW’s first vessel. this was shortly after narinder’s imprisonment, after the clamour of the fight had died down. TOWW took the chance to lure a single, starving fox with promises of greatness should he succeed in killing all four bishops and raising a cult in TOWW’s name. 

whereas lamb inherits ratau’s cult in the meadows beyond darkwood, fox originates from anura. at that time, the bishops were will close to their prime; heket ruled with an iron fist over the region by controlling the food supply, rewarding those who devoted themselves to her with increased rations and starving out all who opposed her. fox was one of the ones who starved to death, and when he woke up, he saw TOWW. 

fox’s cult was somewhat infamous for its ritualistic cannibalism. fox reveled in it, the feeling of sating himself, the power trip that came with being in control. he loved to play mind games with his followers, and would pit them against each other until no one trusted anyone except him. 

soon enough, the bodies of his worshippers no longer sated his hunger, nor did his meager following fulfill his need for more power. even worse, he hadn’t even slain a single bishop yet, and TOWW was growing impatient. fox feared that his crown and his power would be taken away soon. 

when he bowed before his master one last time, he was given a choice: accept, or fight. he chose the latter.

this was before aym and baal were born, so fox only had to contend with TOWW. unlike lamb, he didn’t have the experience of a century of warring with the bishops. and so TOWW killed him. his body was torn to pieces, and cast into the darkest corners of the lands, and the crown was returned to TOWW’s head. 

except fox didn’t die. he’d hoarded worship in the worst-case scenario that he was killed; his indulgence in cannibalism, power from the crown, and gift of resurrection made him not quite a god, not quite a mortal. fox was an undead violation of the boundaries between gods and mortals, walking the fine line between purgatory and the surface. he is confined to his area of death (the darkness), but when night falls, he emerges to trick those who agree to his deals to a watery end. he has a special interest in future vessels, and has claimed the lives of quite a few of them to prolong his own unnatural life. 

Fox and Ratau

ratau had a similar experience to lamb. fox liked to start with small, innocuous bargains, before leading up to the final act: the body of one of the most important people in their life. for lamb, this was ratau. for ratau, this was ratoo. fox whispered his promises and spelled out his lies, and ratau agreed. 

ratoo was missing for years. when he finally came back, his heart was missing from his chest, and he wouldn’t talk to ratau. the two brothers, once close, drifted apart. 

Fox and TOWW

why didn’t TOWW get rid of fox? he tried at first, but fox was wily and smart, and always evaded capture. he eventually gave up. after all, fox was bound to only appear at specific locations, and wasn’t much of a threat to TOWW’s rule. the death of vessels were inconvenient, but he could always crown another. and if they succumbed to fox’s lies, they weren’t fit to be his vessel anyways. 

[biocrafthero]

Some rambles about. Whatever I guess lmao just lost in thought

Stars, they don't tell you how you feel it clawing at you. It's in your guts and against your ribs and at the back of your throat. It tastes like metal and makes you feel sick—it makes you feel hungry. It's hands around your throat and teeth in your mouth. It's your hands around someone's throat and your teeth at their flesh. You feel it in your mouth and it tastes like blood. It's hunger and drive, it's a want that feels like an absolutely insatiable need. There's a bottomless pit in your stomach and you feel hungry. It covers your mouth and hands and it feels like words and sinew.

They don't tell you how you begin to see yourself as a wolf and the more you see that the more everyone around you looks like a rabbit. You pray the next person that gets close to you is something that can handle you because the stars know that if it's a rabbit it'll feel so nice to have in your jaws. It's always tempting to bite down when it is. Sharp teeth into soft flesh, the taste of iron and texture of muscle. It always stains. Everyone can see it on your skin and you know, you know it's there! But you hide it anyways because keeping up the appearance of normalcy is the best way to survive. To be a wolf is to be unacceptable in the most basic sense of the word.

It's nothing but hunger. It bubbles up from inside like how it feels to hold back tears or bile. Your teeth will always feel to big for your mouth, your mouth too small for your teeth. Stars, stars, stars!! You don't know why you are this way but you also do! It's the worst feeling. You begin to crave it because you live in it for so long and when you're trying to get better it feels worse. It shouldn't be normal to feel like this but when it's your normal it's hard to have a frame of reference for anything else.

You want to find prey sometimes; you want to hunt and stalk and go for the kill. It's in your nature and you can deny it all you want but it's there. Your words are always too small to describe something so big—it seems to be a theme with you, never having enough. Selfishness is something you've grown accustomed to.

The worst is when you're clean, when you're not covered in blood anymore. You let it dry and you wash it away and you start anew. It feels good, and you know it's good for you too, but then you start to dream about it. You hunt in your dreams and it feels natural, it feels good. You don't feel awful for it even when your dreams feel like reality because part of you know this is who you are and it kind of sucks but it also makes sense to you.

The sensations always feel real; I had a dream where I held on so tight to someone and refused to let go, something I hadn't done in what feels like a year or two, and it felt good to be like that. I had another dream where I felt absolute devotion to someone and I knew that rotten feeling all too well and I liked it. You have these dreams and you wake up feeling disgusted with yourself, almost betrayed by how nice it felt in your own head.

Of course, that's just dreaming. Daydreaming is something else entirely, but I think my thoughts on that can be easily assumed based on what I've already said.

I dunno, I just needed to get this out of my system. Cloaking it in metaphor is just how I process it a bit better, it makes the pills easier to swallow.

[sunshinemoonrx]

I've been thinking about the original folkloric Arthur

Not a king, not a knight, but a great hunter and a humble soldier.

I'm not really an artist but I spent all yesterday filled with the urge to draw this version of the character, so here's a post that's 50/50 doodles and historiographical rambles about him.

I wanted to do scenes depicting the feats this earliest 9th-century Welsh folklore describes him doing, so first I needed a design for the guy.

Notes on my choices and historicity:

-These earliest local Arthur legends are recorded in an appendix to the Historia Brittonum (c. 830), where he is referred to as simply "Arthur miles" ("the soldier"), a protector-figure in south Wales. The name Arthur is thought to derive from the Latin "Artorius", so I've just written it here to create a consistent Latin version of the name and title. That doesn't mean it was his "real name"; there probably wasn't a specific real guy. Some have floated a 2nd-century Roman general named Lucius Artorius Castus as the "real king Arthur", but there's a 600-year gap between his life and any mention of Arthur, so that's extremely unlikely.

-The visuals are a mix of historic (he wears a tunic, a mail shirt and a cloak with an early medieval brooch) and the kind of anime boy that appeals to me personally. I can't tell you why I was so sure he had to be black-haired, it just felt right. I tried to avoid depicting him as too elite a warrior; I imagine the necklace was obtained as plunder from a raid. For his build, I wanted him to have some mass but not to look like a modern gym bro, and that crashed headfirst into my predilection for messy twinks, and I ended up drawing him (and the other characters here) with kinda "curvy anime babe" proportions, I guess, lmao

-The 10th-century Annales Cambriae say that at the battle of Badon, "Arthur carried the Cross of our Lord Jesus Christ for three days and three nights on his shoulders and the Britons were the victors". This is probably referring to to a shield design, but I thought it'd be fun to interpret it as a back tattoo. The practice is attested as being practiced in the north of Britain from a 786 synod in Northumbria. The English clergy weren't fond of it and actually tattooing a cross isn't attested until the crusading era, plus from a modern perspective the vibes of a guy with just a big Christian tattoo are a bit questionable, so I decided to pair it with something else. Earlier Roman accounts of Briton tattoos mention animal shapes, and Welsh legends often depict people or their souls becoming birds (early modern Cornish folklore even held that Arthur survived in the form of a bird), so I went with a wing-pattern.

-The precursor to Excalibur, Arthur's sword Caledfwlch ("hard-cleaver", Caliburnus in Latin, Calesvol in Cornish) isn't magic yet, and his spear and dagger are given equal prominence, so I depicted it as the kind of straight sword common at the time, derived from the Roman spatha design.

-One of the two prior stories recorded in the HB is Arthur's fighting and killing his son Amr ("fab Arthur", "son of Arthur", is my translation into Welsh); I drew Amr in a half-tunic/half-dress because, again, I just kinda wanted to

The other story involves Arthur hunting the great boar Twrch Trwyth (Troit/Troynt), so that was the next thing to design:

This is very cool to see referred to this early, because the hunt of the Trwyth is the climactic set-piece of Culhwch ac Olwen (c. 1100), the most complete Arthurian tale we have from the period after the Historia Brittonum transformed him from a minor local figure into a magical warrior-hero for all the Britons and centrepiece of Welsh legend, but before Geoffrey of Monmouth's Historia Regum Britanniae further began his transformation into the chivalric king popular in France and across Europe.

In Culhwch, Trwyth is a king who was turned into a boar by God as punishment for his sins, so I came up with a human design as well as a big pig design. The king in question was probably intended as a Briton, but I thought it would be fun to depict him as a Saxon, Arthur's enemies in the HB, especially as Saxon warriors often wore boar-crests on their helmets. I did one take with a mostly historic boar-helmet, and one more fantastical, almost like a boar-themed Kamen Rider helmet, as if rather than becoming an actual boar he became this more fearsome but still humanoid warrior.

I also made his sword slightly asymmetrical, to mirror the seax knives that gave the Saxons their name. Their actual main battle swords were straight, but I thought it was a fun touch for this magical tyrant.

As for the boar-form design, I like depicting monsters with sketchy outlines, like they aren't fully solid creatures of this world.

And that's how we get our first scene proper!

The legend recorded in HB says that when Cabal (Latinisation of Welsh "Cafall"), Arthur's dog, was hunting Troynt (Trwyth), he left a paw-print in a stone, which Arthur then assembled a cairn under, and if the paw-print stone is ever removed, within 24 hours it returns to the mound. (Cafall is also featured in the version of the hunt in Culhwch!)

Anyway, I can't really draw animals that aren't big scary creatures, so I didn't want to draw an actual dog. So since I'd already turned Trwyth into a guy, I figured why not just turn Cafall into a guy too? Plus, I get to draw a guy in a collar with a dog-tail and a little fangy. So win-win, really.

I also wanted to draw a version with the human Trwyth, and I figured I'd combine that with the story of Amr, and just do a page of swordfights:

"...on fatal field / we fended our lives, as the ranks clashed in battle / and the boar-crests rang..." -Beowulf

The Amr (or Amhar) story relates that Arthur built a tomb for his son, and that every time it is measured it comes up as a different length.

The fact this is such an early story is also very interesting, because one of the most famous parts of post-HRB chivalric Arthur is the killing of his son Mordred. Early Welsh references to Mordred (Medraut or Medrawd) portray him entirely positively. I do wonder if when Mordred became the more famous son of Arthur the story of Amr got folded into his, but we don't have evidence to do more than speculate.

I also now realise that my human Trwyth looks a lot like a Ringwraith, and honestly the more medieval lit I delve through the more moments of "oh that's why that bit of Tolkien is like that" I have.

Those were what I originally wanted to depict, but in doing them two more ideas occurred to me. One was depicting the Arthur of the Historia Brittonum itself (not just the pre-existing folklore it recorded), this local hero plucked into a much grander stage, cast as a pseudohistorical general leading his people against the Saxons.

This one came out very "edgy teenager on Deviantart", but fuck it, kill the part of you that cringes and be free, right:

The title comes from one of the medieval Welsh "triad" texts, each one a short line listing the "three great X of the Isle of Britain" to help bards remember. Arthur is referred to in many of them, here as one of the "Three Red Reapers of the Isle of Britain". I thought that was a good fit for his war-hero portrayal here. Also I tried moving the cross-tattoo lower down to make it sluttier.

HB's Arthur is an interesting middle ground. He's leading the Britons as a whole, but he still has one foot in his humble origins. He's named as Dux Bellorum, "battle-leader", and it's specified that the kings of the Britons were under his leadership although he was less noble than them. It's only somewhere between the grander Welsh legends that sprung up after this and the HRB that he would get upgraded to king.

For the final picture, I was inspired by a much more recent piece of Breton verse, a 19th-century gwerz (ballad) telling of Arthur arriving in Brittany (on account of being king of all Britons) to slay a dragon and getting help from Saint Efflam. The core story, though, is remarkably consistently preserved from the Vita Euflami, the original saint's life written around 1100. I was captivated in particular by the verse in the gwerz where Arthur announces himself:

Me zo roué ar Bretonet Artur an terrub lessanvet Deut aman deus a Lannion Evit tistruji ann Dragon.

I am the king of the Britons/Bretons Arthur, known as the terrible Come here from Lannion To destroy the dragon.

For one, the way the lyrics flow in the Breton just kinda goes hard, but the bombastic tone and the length of time the story was transmitted across brought a scene vividly to my mind, inspired by the persistent story of Arthur's prophesised return: Modern travellers in the Breton countryside being set upon by a dragon, only for Arthur to miraculously appear with this declaration, defeat the beast and vanish, his original task as hunter and protector fulfilled once more.

So I drew that! Once again, I like sketchy impressionistic monsters. Also, I think the people in the back are lesbians, but that's less of a conscious decision and more just what happens when you ask me to draw two people.

And that's what's been occupying my mind for the past few days! There's a couple more things I could do. Cai and Gwenhwyfar (precusors to Sir Kay and Guinivere) are characters I'd love to whip up designs for, and there's a bunch of really wild scenes in Culhwch. But that'll only be if I'm still feeling this specific creative energy.

Thanks for reading!

[cloudcountry]

OKAY first thoughts on Ikepri men

Leon: Awoo I think I know who I'm choosing like oajbsdijb. He has a beautiful smile and beautiful hair and he's good with kids! Also dang his outfit looks so good! I want him. That one. That's mine.

Chevalier: He's cold but I'm kinda interested tho?? Like I don't know why but I like him?? Like he's so cool but he also put a sword to my throat which wasn't as cool. But I'm kinda interested in him and want to know more

Yves: LMAO I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT. I'm sorry but I need to fix his hair because I can't take him seriously. He gives me wet cat vibes and I think it's so funny. But he's a sassy tsundere so that's cool I guess

Nokto: Ah yes, the classic otome game character that immediately flirts with you. I can't look at him without seeing Zen from Mystic Messenger in more ways than one. I'm not very impressed by someone who can't even remember if I was a fling and immediately tries to flirt. Keeping him at a distance

Licht: Edgy man. Idk much about him because he's quiet but he's kinda cool I guess?? He's pretty and has nice fluffy hair but he gives me sleepy boy vibes and lone wolf. I'm not too interested in him but more so than others

Clavis: My first thought is woah so pretty :O but then I found out he's mischievous and a trouble maker and I can't deal with that. He's pretty but not for me. Would love to brush/run my hands through his hair tho. Also his belts confuse me

Jin: LMAO he looks like a normal guy and acts like a normal guy. I'm sorry he just looks so average. I can't get much of a read on him tho so it kinda reminds me of Trey but idk aside from that.

Luke: :O Woah another pretty man?? He seems fun and I like his outfit a lot I mean the little animal is so cute! He's adorable and I want to hug him but idk about romance

Sariel: ;-; no. Get away from me. His hair, his outfit, his threats, his attitude and personality...please keep him away from me. He scares me but also like he gets on my nerves? Idk how to describe it but he feels off and shady. I usually trust demons but nah not this one. Also giving heavy Jade vibes

Rio: did they make a golden retriever into a person?? I love how he's actually referred to as a dog/pet and he says nothing about it. But he's a major simp for the mc and I'm not a fan. He looks better as a butler but idk he's too obsessed with me for me to be interested. Also I can't read his name and not see that blue bird

Gilbert: ...I've only read his description but I love him. Pretty, mysterious, edgy, and he's feared? Sign me up. Also that outfit, like slayy man. I'm going to steal that cape and wear it. Awooga this man he's so edgy but danggggg

Keith: All these fancy names and then there's Keith. Idk he's soft and cool sure but not for me. Too soft for me. Also his hair and last name makes me think they tried to put Dan Howell in the game. It says he has two sides so I guess that's cool but not for me

Silvio: Cruella De Vil wannabe...okay but he's pretty but no. His whole throw money at things to solve problems is no. He's wearing lots of jewelry which makes me want to imagine me as a peacock robbing him. Yeah that fits. Rob him and wear that cloak around and act smug in front of him. What's he gonna do? Throw money at me?

PLS leon is really nice!!! he's more like an older brother figure to me personally but i think hiss hugs would cure my depression LMAO

ASJGDFFAJS STOP I LAUGHED REALLY LOUD WHEN I READ WHAT YOU WROTE ABOUT CHEVIE.,,.,.,. HES SO SILLY apparently he's really sweet ocne you get to know him but hes a biit prickly at the beginning (but hey, isnt that the same for half the love interests?)

YOU HIT THE NAIL ON HIS HEAD FOR YVES. HES SO WET CAT CODED. his route is so sad but sosososo sweet its so adorable. i want to hug him. he's like a bestie to me tbh i would fight anyone that looks at himw rong FR. HE DESERVES THE WORLD AJHSGDAJ

okay i'll admit i didn't like nokto at first because he's the flirty type but. he doesn't really give me the creeps anymore? now that i know why he does that./ he's kinda just there for me but he looks a lot liek zen from mystic messenger HELP

LICHT IS SOOOOO RPETTY and hes the reserved type. i am foaming at the mouth. I WANTED TO PLAY HSI ROUTE FIRST but yves was probably the better choice for my frist route since his route os apparently super heavy ^^;

CLAVIS IS SO GOOFY his relationship with the mc is honestly so adorable if you pick him as a love interest,.., theyre so teasinga nd wholesome towards each other and if my future relationship doesnt look like tehres I DONT WANT IT.

jin scares me but yorue right about him being painful;ly average. i got that impression too but apparently his route punched people in the gut KASHGD

OMG YES. I ADORE LUKE. ive only played yves's route so far but luke is so kind. hes so sweet. hes so godo at talking peoplee down from anxiety and even though he has a temper himself hes so good at regulating emotions??? i want to hug him so bad. he was so nice to mc in the beginning of yves's route too.

SARIEL'S HAIR BOTHERS ME TOO LMAOOOO I GET IT!!! he has a sprite with a whip and i hate it. umm he's kinda nice sometimes but i dont really have an impression of him yet!!

RIO IS TEH SWEETEST :((( I WOULD DIE FOR HIM. he is so kind to mc and i know the whole obsessed thing isnt for everyone (it put me off at first too LMAO) but really he just loves her unconditionally and wants her to be happy its so cute im gonna die

THE WAY I SCREAMED WHEN YOU SAID YOUW ERE ALREADY IN LOVE WITH GILBERT you and the whole ikepri fandom tbh. may i introduce you to his weird ass gloves and their unexpected appeal. also he has a cane which is silly. his coat is weird. i am picturing that diagram vio made for his outfit ITS RIDICULOUS.

keith's hair looks so soft i want to run my fingers through it in a very bestie way. he gave me a weird vibe when i saw him first but the second he opened his mouth teh weird vibe disappeared. he just seems so sweet and gentle :((

i do NOT like silvio next

THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS RY I HAD SO MUCH FUN ANSWERING TI GIGGLINGA ND KCIKING MY FEEET AJSHDFJA

[ryoalouette]

Customized Feanorian Stars

So the other day (or week?? Coz the idea has been sitting for quite a while between IRL’s busy af-ness) I had the idea to customize the Star of Feanor for his sons (and grandson). So that’s about what, 7-8 stars, kinda depending on the twins?

First star to be drawn was naturally Maedhros’. And just like every other Feanorians, he makes it hard for me coz... well. He got absolutely no mention about craft. A Discord fren who knows a whole lot of Tolkien more than I am suggested the use of sculpting, in reference of his mother name Maitimo, as in “well-formed”. I actually still have the sketch somewhere, but then I just. Hm, maybe I’d like to look at another angle of Maedhros. Oh I know! His capture, torture, and how he was freed by Fingon by cutting off his shackled right hand. Also the idea of bright flames inside the star being... Well, he certainly died a fiery death so..

And then we have my husbando the Drama King the last Feanorian Maglor. The idea was simple enough; inside the star being some form of water (coz he threw his Silmaril to the sea, and legends say that to this day he wondered near the shore, singing laments and Noldolante), outside being a harp. I was actually debating internally what kind of harp it should be, then pestered several of my discord servers if people there knows the anatomy of a harp (as in, how many strings to harps usually have?). And as I’m apparently a type of masochist (but kind of lazy), I also drew the tuning disks. Lazily. The color gold of his harp is a nod to his mother name. Hint: it have something to do with gold. Maglor’s star: simple in theory but effing troublesome (fondly).

Third to be drawn is naturally Celegorm’s star. He’s a hunter and he got Huan. Admittedly, the center of his star is rather confusing for me to draw coz it’s not like he got “an element” like his 2 older brothers have; he died in Doriath, so that’s trees? But then I didn’t want the brothers to have same “elements” coz if that’s the case, Celegorm, Caranthir and Curufin would have freaking trees as “elements”. So I just. You know what, he’s a hunter, let’s make his star somewhat furry. And you know what? It works. Sort of.

I might not render Huan perfectly, but I did use Irish blood hound as base and just googled how doggos sleep. So walla, a sleeping Huan somewhat surrounding Celegorm’s star. And a bow coz... hunter.

Nao the fourth one is equally as problematic as the first son: absolutely no mention about Caranthir having a craft. Actually, there’s barely anything about him unless if it’s about Haleth or how he manages to trade with the Dwarves and having a relation with Man (outside Haleth), until Ulfang betrays them all in Nirnaeth Arnoediad. So I just throw my hands and just go to that Discord friend that I mentioned, and just pokes him I guess lmao-

Ended up with that greenery in the middle of his star and green cloak (coz Discord fren said that he’s rather attached at the idea of Caranthir and green due to a Silm artist), with Haleth’s coat-of-arms barely visible. Also cloak be rather ragged coz I don’t think Caranthir and his brothers would have the luxury of having brand new items like High Kings would have?

Now Curufin. For the inside of his star, I might or might not be inspired from a fic where Celegorm said that Curufin makes him think of smokes? Eh, I’ll just put the link if someone asks what fic is that. Admittedly I also got to look for it so... And since Curufin is a smith, just go the easy way with anvil and hammer: blacksmith’s trusty items.

Ambarussa! The sixth out of seven stars- tho this one is for two people instead of one like the other Feanorian stars. Especially considering that they seem to never separated (unless in one version of which one of the twins get burned with the ships). They’re apparently also hunters. And for their “element”, well. You know what Havens of Sirion and the Burning of the Ships have in common? It’s near the sea. So if you take a minute to look at the inside of their star, bottom is the sea, above is fire. Yeah. RIP Ambarussa.

Celebrimbor, the last Feanorian Star I modified/made from the original Star of Feanor! At first I was tempted to draw the doors of Moria LOL then the One Ring. And then: oh right, One Ring was created by Sauron; Celebrimbor only does the three elven rings. Inside the star being metal-abstract thing. Am actually unsure if it shows you people that it’s supposed to be liquid silver.

[flecks-of-stardust]

[image description: two images of sketches of greenpath vessel. in the first there is a full body sketch of them, with their right hand on their hip and their left hand raised, waving. they have no cloak. in a small bubble next to them is the text ‘Suck my ass, Orchid.’ with ghost’s face. to the right of the image is the side view of greenpath vessel’s head.

in the second image, there are four sketches of greenpath vessel’s head. the leftmost one is the top view of their head, their lower set of horns just barely visible underneath the top set. the other three are designs of them after their first molt, and display the front view, the side view, and the top view of their head respectively. their upper set of horns is much longer, largely growing up, while their lower set of horns are longer than before but relatively short, and are growing backwards.

end id]

actually looked for their ref this time! i might design them next; im likely going to make a ref sheet for all four vessels, though im hesitating on who to do next because all of them are complicated in their own ways.

originally i was gonna draw orchid doing a funky little pose with their legs as well, but decided against it because i couldnt think of a suitably funny pose rip. the dialogue bubble is just,,, that’s just what my version of ghost is like. they’re just Like That, constantly, with their twin. orchid thinks its funny so its fine sjfkgjhkj i added it spontaneously, so theres no real reason behind it other than i thought it would be funny to add lmao

i do not know how to draw top views! and i have no idea where id even begin looking for a reference for that, so. guess im never drawing top views FJGKS it helps visualize the geometry of their heads though, especially for lheki. they and orchid are kind of tied for most complex horn design though, so. meh

anyway, here. im filling the gp vessel tag /hj

[intrulogical]

Spirals

author’s note: oh literally this is the worst. who knew the first fic without logan would've been a nightmare to make. i just really wanted to establish a secure dynamic between janus and remus, make some junji ito references, and move on, honestly. i just want to get to the fanfiction where they play poker and argue with the light sides, ya'know? but still, i guess i had to make *this* fanfiction. think of it as the halloween episode in sanders sides.

this fic literally cannot be read as a standalone so, for the love of all things good, please read the other fics in the series to understand what the fuck is going on! because this fic is sure as hell messy so reading it by itself won't even make sense lmao

like always, thank you to the logang discord for support! big thanks especially to kei, orb, and ellie for beta reading!

pairings: Platonic Remus & Janus, Mentions of Romantic Remus/Logan, Mentions of Past Remus/Janus

warnings:  remus angst, critical light sides, light sides negativity, swearing, remus-typical content, mentions of nsfw, weird horror-inspired creatures, slight self-esteem issues, just remus being sad :(

word count: 5502

summary: Remus sighed. It didn’t matter, he supposed. As long as the buzz from the lake distracted his thoughts and the hypnotizing spirals in the sky continued to drift, it would all be fine.

Spirals, spirals, spirals. Just like how he was spiralling right now. He chuckled at himself for the stupid connection; Logan really got him used to doing pointless word association games.

Word association games. Logan. His lover, boyfriend, partner, whatever.

Remus raised his arms to rub his tired face. The soaked sleeves of his hoodie dripped the water unto his cheeks. He really did not want to think about Logan and the possibility of him becoming a--

He splashed his arms back onto the water furiously as he furrowed his lip.

or,

Remus has some conflicting thoughts about Logan becoming a "Dark" Side, has a different unidentifiable problem, and swims around in his Junji Ito-inspired creation. Janus, on the other hand, has to convince him to take a break.

(ao3 link)

There was a buzzing, staticky sensation that tickled Remus’s neck and legs as he floated atop the Dragonfly Pond. The lake itself, admittedly, was highly unrealistic as Remus hadn’t perfected every single aspect of his copy of Uzumaki’s horrific town of Kurozu-Cho, but Remus enjoyed traversing through the ghastly lake nonetheless. The odd buzz that fizzled against his skin felt weirdly satisfying and mind-numbing, allowing the irksome, overwhelming thoughts in his head to evaporate slightly. 

Remus understood that he should’ve been tucked in his bed by now, falling asleep to eccentric Jack Stauber songs as he hugged the gigantic octopus plushie Logan had given to him on his birthday. There was a persistent burn in his eyes that only worsened as time passed by and his muscles ached so terribly to the point of cramping. His eyes were practically blurring after a few seconds of gazing at the sky, and he swore he felt frost nipping at the ends of his fingers and toes. Yet here he was, paddling himself across the lake using his feet as his hoodie became soggier by the second, ignoring every logical thought that screamed at him to go to bed.

Junji Ito’s works were always a source of unexpected comfort for Remus. Remus recognized it was probably suspicious that he felt at ease while reading mangas about demonic, gut-wrenching monsters, but as an avid fan of the cosmic horror genre, he was only exhilarated by the detailed yet unsettling drawings. 

This was the reason why he made replicas of those mangas in his side of the Imagination. Many of his landscapes were dedicated to the fascinating monsters Ito was able to create. Sometimes, Remus’s ambitiousness took over and prompted him to create entire cities and towns with clueless civilians that inhabited the horrific establishments. Remus just liked to go wild and have fun, y’know? Amp the scare factor up to a hundred. 

(He also took pleasure in witnessing Roman’s fearful face whenever one of his creatures trespassed his land. The occasion was rare but when it happened, Remus merely laughed at Roman devilishly.)

Remus breathed out deeply. The skies above were littered with spirals, each thick cloud hypnotically whorling as it passed by. The wind was also visible, each breeze being represented with curls and scrolls. The night slightly resembled Van Gogh’s “Starry Night” but in monochromatic colors, making the sky appear to be a more depressing clone of the painting. 

Additionally, surrounding the lake were an abundant amount of trees, each of their leaves curling at the corners. Sometimes, the trees would give into this spiral disease and coil up on itself like a centipede that was just stepped on. Some peculiar creatures also hid within the helical greenery, all of them taking a peek at Remus from time to time. Remus only recalled witnessing boulder-sized snails and a stretched out human-snake hybrid traversing through their forest for today, but Remus didn’t expect any of his creations to be any real threats to him. 

If Remus was being honest, he had expected more creatures to appear. Usually, some of the  ghosts that inhabited the lake would arise and stalk Remus creepily but they didn’t even come out to play. The tornado siren that usually resonated daily didn’t alarm either, and there were no ear-piercing shrieks and terrified screams he could hear from a distance. Despite his environment still being undeniably terrifying, it was still pretty tame compared to Remus’s past visits.

Remus sighed. It didn’t matter, he supposed. As long as the buzz from the lake distracted his thoughts and the hypnotizing spirals in the sky continued to drift, it would all be fine.

Spirals, spirals, spirals. Just like how he was spiralling right now. He chuckled at himself for the stupid connection; Logan really got him used to doing pointless word association games.

Word association games. Logan. His lover, boyfriend, partner, whatever. 

Remus raised his arms to rub his tired face. The soaked sleeves of his hoodie dripped the water unto his cheeks. He really did not want to think about Logan and the possibility of him becoming a—

He splashed his arms back onto the water furiously as he furrowed his lip. 

Remus was never one to anxiously overthink a problem. More than anything, he caused problems and issues, purposely terrorizing the others just because he enjoyed it. There was never a moment in his life he felt overwhelmed by an issue, especially when he was only partially involved. But this— this was different. The entire atmosphere of the Mindscape can shift, relationships can absolutely be tarnished and destroyed, and he didn’t even know how this issue could directly affect Thomas.

Remus sighed— this was a mess. A complete utter disastrous mess. 

“Remus?” a voice called from afar. Remus’s eyes widened as he recognized its owner. “Remus, do you know how long it took to fucking find you?” they continued, sounding obviously aggravated.

“Jannie? You came to find me?” Remus hollered back, flipping over so he remained standing upright in the lake. There in the distance stood Janus whose hair looked incredibly dishevelled as his cape was almost in tatters.

“Of course, you cretin. You haven’t been in your room since four and didn’t even come to eat dinner.” Janus told him, clearly upset. Remus only blinked at him in surprise. Janus sighed, “Don’t tell me you didn’t notice that you’ve been, er, floating about for ten hours straight?”

Remus shrugged mindlessly, only causing Janus to furrow his eyebrows. “What? Ten hours isn’t a big deal.”

“Remus.” Janus said scoldingly, holding a disappointed yet concerned gaze. “Have you eaten at all?” 

“Been meaning to try the human-sized snails crawling around town. Did you know snails are rich in protein? Logan explained that some researcher in Africa or something discovered that eating snails could—”

“Again, have you eaten?” Janus interrupted. 

“Does swallowing lake water count?” Remus asked.

“If you swim out of there, I’ll lend you some cake B made a while ago.” Janus said monotonically, and Remus quickly perked up. 

“Why didn’t you say that in the first place, double dicks?” Remus said with a grin. Instead of swimming out of the lake, he snapped his fingers and teleported himself to the empty spot next to Janus. Janus’s face remained stoic and unmoving at Remus’s unkemptness and wet clothes as Remus simply grinned at him maniacally, clearly excited to be given the dessert.

After sighing, Janus grabbed a tupperware hidden beneath his cloak. How it was held securely in the cloak was a mystery, but he still handed the cake to Remus. “It’s red velvet, since he wanted to cheer you up.”

“Cheer me up?” Remus said while removing the tupperware’s lid, “He’s been apologetic about his outburst for what, two weeks, three weeks now? I mean, I guess it’s okay to be a greedy bitch when the opportunity is right there, but I still feel spoiled. Spoiled like… food.” Janus eyed him weirdly, “Like that milk carton that we abandoned in our fridge for ten months… uhm…”

“Seems like your creative juices are running low.” Janus told him as Remus shoved half of the cake into his mouth, “Firstly, we both know B is just like that, and secondly, this cake wasn’t something he made to add to his apology streak— he’s worried for you.”

Remus scoffed, “Worried? Why should he be—”

“Remus, your room is in disarray.” Janus told him with a concerned tone as the corners of his lips tilted downwards, “We’re not going to tiptoe around the issue here, Remus. He said you left a conversation with Logan frowning and the voices in your room suddenly intensified. I’m— we’re worried for you.”

Remus averted his gaze from Janus, chewing on the cake silently and shamefully as he watched the achromatic trees dance in sync to the breeze. Even while looking away, he can sense Janus’s heavy, unfiltered concern, staring at him with furrowed eyebrows, thinned lips, and nostrils slightly flared. 

Even if Remus was fully aware that he could trust Janus and B wholeheartedly, Remus was still undoubtedly hesitant to confess what bothersome thoughts were floating around his head. Whenever Remus needed to ramble on about some stupid dilemma he had to Janus, he was always certain about the complexity of the problem and what it entailed. Pinpointing what his current issues were to Janus was usually not too difficult to do, but somehow, this was different.

His problem felt… convoluted. More complex than he needed it to be. There were a million rampaging thoughts in his head that couldn’t stop reminding him of different problems he couldn’t tackle all at once. Typically, he can find one problem that stood out amongst the rest, but presently, every identifiable problem seemed to be equally as dreadful as each other, leaving Remus incredibly perplexed. Being unable to pinpoint his main issue was further adding on to the multitude of problems he already had to deal with, and he was unsure of how he was going to explain all this chaos that was within his mind.

Remus felt his right arm being nudged. “Remus?” Janus spoke, causing  Remus blinked thrice, not realizing he went quiet for a few minutes.

“Sorry,” replied Remus with a forced grin, shoving another piece of the cake into his mouth. The worry on Janus’s face manifested a feeling of guilt within Remus, gradually making him feel sorry that Janus had to put up with his patheticness. 

“Remus, what time did you sleep last night?” Asked Janus, causing Remus to fiddle nervously with the skin around his fingernails. God, Remus regretted not bringing any sort of fidget toy or object for him to utilize— Logan’s going to scold him for this. “Actually, wrong question— it’s quite obvious that you didn’t sleep last night—”

“Don’t assume, Sweeney Fraud.” 

Janus quirked an eyebrow, “Oh? Then, when did you sleep, my dear Mrs. Lovett?” Janus said confidently, fidgeting with his gloves as he did. Remus made a disgruntled expression, rolling his eyes at the question. He guessed there was no avoiding it now.

“I’m not good at math, but probably seventy to seventy-eight hours ago? Uhm. That’s three days, right?” 

Janus placed his hand softly on the ground beneath him, “Remus, you couldn’t have possibly been awake for more than three days—”

“At least it wasn’t four whole days.”

“Remus,” Janus scolded him once more. Hearing Janus utter his name once more made him unexpectedly tense.

“What, seventy-eight hours is nothing compared to when we fucked for—”

Janus visibly grimaced, fists slowly clenching, “Ssssstop that,” he hissed, earning an entertained chuckle from Remus. “I don’t want to remember that— that phase we had.” he added, obviously flustered. 

“But ah, that phase we had was just wonderful!” Remus exclaimed, doing a chef’s kiss. Janus’s hands flew to grip his hat and simply pulled it closer to his face, “Thomas’s teenage years were marvelously filled with hormone-induced fantasies and—”

“Remusssss—”

“God, we were such horny children back then, even if it only lasted for a week—”

“Remus!” Janus roared, looking excessively embarrassed at Remus, “I am not proud of the— the activities we did back then so can you please do me a favor and forget about that entire week—”

“Jannie, you already know that I bring this up annually just to piss you off.” Remus said with a smirk, “I mean, look at you— all crimson and flushed like when I—”

“Oh my god, shut up!” Janus yelled, “You’re insufferable.”

“And so I’ve heard,” Remus replied, grinning widely.

“All I wanted was to help you with your damn problems and all I get greeted with is a reminder of our horrid sex life when we were teenagers, thanks a lot.” Janus murmured, hands still clenching his hat in humiliation. Meanwhile, Remus’ grin faltered a bit upon realizing that right, they still had his problems to discuss.

“That’s what friends are for,” Remus replied, trying to mask his worry by winking at Janus enthusiastically. Janus merely rolled  his eyes exasperatedly as a reply. “And I can handle my problems fine, J-anus. Just let me sulk here for another few hours, maybe I’ll duel one of those weird pregnant mosquito vampire creatures I’ve made—”

“—the what—?”

“—And maybe fall asleep around three or four? It’ll pass by then. I think. I dunno.” Remus finished with a nonchalant tone only to raise Janus’s suspicion. Remus froze at the sight of his disbelieving face— there was no chance in hell Remus would be able to lie in front of Janus, huh?

“‘You never pass the opportunity to vent when I ask you to.” Janus told him, consequently making Remus tilt his head in confusion. Janus sighed, “Well, I know you usually change the subject when I first bring it up, but upon the second or third request, you eventually do begin venting. What’s different about now?”

Remus was surprised that Janus had observed a pattern in their talks but was still unexplainably reluctant to share what was on his mind now. It would’ve been easier if he had Logan to talk to—he just made everything much easier, Remus didn’t know how that even worked—but Logan was involved with the issue and it just heightened his uneasiness even more.

“I— well,” Remus spoke, internally cringing at himself for the awful start, “God, I’ve been doing a lot of venting lately, is that even normal?”

“Better than duelling some pregnant vampire thingies or whatever the fuck you said earlier,” Janus replied, earning a half-smile from Remus.

“But I heard they put up a good fight, Jannie! Like, the townsfolk are saying they use drills as weapons while also having an insatiable thirst for blood—”

“Getting a little off-track here.”

“Ah— sorry.” Remus gave him an apologetic smile, “I’m just… very confused? Or anxious. Thoughts just swarm around my head like bees in a beehive and all of them keep buzzing,” Remus explained nervously. The tupperware and cake has long been abandoned as he continued to peel the skin around his fingernails instead, “And, uh, I don’t know where to start?”

“So you don’t know what’s bothering you?”

“Well, yes. And no.” Remus replied as he accidentally picked the skin around his thumb too harshly, causing a small trickle of blood to appear. Janus noticed this immediately, reaching out to pull Remus’s right hand away from his left.

“Don’t do that,” Janus instructed, causing Remus to huff at him agitatedly. Janus then sighed and unbuttoned his ruined cloak, handing it to Remus, “Some of your creatures clawed at the edges so you can play with the holes and loose threads instead if it means you’ll stop picking on your skin.” Janus explained, and Remus was about to protest until Janus continued, “I have more cloaks in my room, so destroy this one all you like.”

Remus gratefully accepted the cloak, following Janus’s suggestion and playing with the loose seams. “Thank you, uh,” Remus continued his tangent as he nervously pulled and plucked the strings, “Back to the thing— I kind of know what’s bothering me. Ish. Sorta kinda. Right now, I can probably identify ten— no, fifteen— or maybe twenty thoughts floating around that I could label as something contributing to my stupid dilemma.”

“But?”

“But I feel like there’s something I’m missing. A bigger problem I can’t seem to pinpoint— like that one episode Thomas made with the puppets! Er… I don’t know why I keep bringing up that one episode lately when honestly, it was such a terrible episode—“

“The Halloween one was worse, in my humble opinion.”

“Point taken. We could’ve made that episode ten times better, y’know? I feel offended they tried to make a scary episode without inviting us! If they really wanted to discuss Thomas’s embarrassing phases, we are quite the experts—“

“We’re getting off-topic again.”

“Fuck, sorry,” Remus said apologetically, “Where were we— oh right, the stupid bigger problem thing.” Remus huffed tiredly, “I feel so fucking bothered that I don’t know what’s bothering me which is making me even more bothered and more bothered and it’s just a fucking loop! A terrible cycle. A bothering one. Did I mention I’m so fucking bothered?”

“Then lay it on me.” Janus told him, and Remus tilted his head at him, slightly perplexed, “What I mean is— if we can’t identify the bigger problem at hand, then you can at least tell me about the problems you can identify. Maybe we can piece together what we’re missing here.”

“I swear to Jesus Christ that this is beginning to look like that puppet episode.”

“What’s your obsession with that damn puppet episode? We weren’t even in it.”

“I dunno, to be honest. I just like to shit on it a lot. Like, look at me, I have the same problems Thomas is having, yet I’m still villainized, for some goddamn reason. Maybe it’s the mustache? It’s gotta be the mustache.” Remus twirled the edges of his curled mustache as Janus merely shrugged.

“To be fair, you had a very violent introduction.”

“You know what? True. Probably should’ve gone with my ‘Breaking Through the Window’ plan—“ Janus opened his mouth, most likely about to interrupt Remus, but Remus immediately butted in first before he can be scolded again, “Yea, yea, I know, go back on topic, yadda yadda yadda.”

“I’m here to listen, so feel free to spill whatever you want to spill.” Janus replied, looking at Remus intently. Before Remus could express his lengthy spiel, he successfully ripped a certain portion of the cloak he was fiddling with. Sighing, he lowered the cloak, and gazed back at Janus. Janus was patiently waiting for him, and despite looking exhausted, Remus knew he was still going to listen. God, what did he do to deserve Janus?

“Well…” Remus started anxiously, twirling one of the loose threads between his fingers, “I already told you about the entire Logan ordeal.”

“Him becoming a—what’d they call it again—a ‘Dark’ Side?”

“Yep.” Remus affirmed, face scrunched up in discomfort, “Y’know like, I thought I’d be excited to see him here, but after much thought—which is funny since most of the time, I don’t overthink things—but anyway, after much thought, I just feel… dreadful. Like, this shit ain’t just Logan coming over here to visit. This has permanent consequences I didn’t even consider until now. I don’t even know how the other sides will react or— or if this’ll damage Thomas in any way.

“I know that Thomas would still be able to function— it isn’t like Logan is actually going to fade away or disappear. He’ll just be… neglected more. Gosh, his neglect is all my fault, isn’t it? I mean, I know that I should technically blame Thomas and the other sides for Logan’s gradual descent into becoming one of us, but maybe I should take part in the blame too since it’s my fault that he’s brought down here a lot. Maybe I— maybe I badly influenced him? Maybe his own problems and insecurities were created because of how much time he’s spent with me—”

“Now that’s—”

“Me, overthinking? Probably. But Logan is important to Thomas, he needs to be up there to be able to help Thomas the most. Maybe bringing him down here was a mistake on my part because now he’s just so willing to give up his position as a ‘Light’ Side. The other sides will condemn him, hurt him even more, villainize him like how I’ve been villainized. Logan’s going to get fuckin’ hurt because of my ass and I just, what, blindly allowed it to happen for the past few months? And now it’s too late to back out because, at any moment, he’s going to join us and all chaos will break loose.

“What if… what if him becoming part of our family is going to erupt a bigass fight between Logan and the others? Believe me, I’d love to see Logan go feral and slap the shit out of Patton, but I’m… scared? And it’s weird— I’m never really scared of anything. But I’m scared that there'll be a bigger divide between the ‘Light’ and ‘Dark’ Sides because of… well, me. And I know not everything is entirely my fault, but it’s still partially my fault, so I still feel so fucking terrible. 

“And speaking of more problems that are partially my fault— there’s also B I have to worry about— and you! Like, I’m dragging you both into this mess just because I fell in love with some fucking nerd and now the other sides will hate you even more. I mean, Thomas doesn’t even know B, but I know those other sides are going to pin the blame on someone else like they always do, so we’re going to be antagonized more. And I don’t even know if B and Logan get along! Like, for all I know, I’m tearing our own family apart, because as far as I’m concerned, B would murder Logan if he got the chance to. But I can’t force him to be nice because I know it’s valid of him to get mad at Logan for all the shit that went down in Thomas’s teenage years, but I don’t know if that’s just going to hurt Logan and— agh!”

“Remus,” Janus spoke softly, snapping him out of his hysteria. As Janus carefully placed his hand atop Remus’ forearm, Remus had realized that in the midst of his incohesive rambling, he had successfully torn Janus’ cloak apart with his bare hands. Moreover, his eyes didn’t seem like the only thing that felt like burning as his lungs felt like it was being set ablaze with how labored his breathing has become. He could feel his shoulder shudder after every two quickened breaths and his eye twitch after every third. 

“Sorry, sorry, I—”

“Enough apologies, I need you to breathe in—” Remus took a shaky inhale, “—and tell me five things you see.”

“Wh-what is this, that Frozen episode of Sanders Sides—?”

“Five things you see, Remus.” Janus repeated himself sternly, not allowing Remus to joke his way out of this situation.

In return, Remus clenched his jaw tensely, averting his gaze from Janus to eye the scenery before him. As he fiddled with the destroyed cloak’s tangled loose threads, he spoke apprehensively, “Uhm. The lake, obviously, and its spirals. That tree in the distance that’s coiling up unto itself as its leaves are disintegrating, uhm—” Remus paused to even out his breathing before his heart decided to jump out of his chest involuntarily,  “There’s a— some smoke? In the distance? I think it’s from a funeral— they’ve been having a lot of those here nowadays. And there goes a gigantic snail, trying to avoid being preyed on by— by that snake-human hybrid thing.” he finished as the snake-human hybrid pounced onto the defenseless snail, “Ah well, at least he tried.”

Once Remus looked back at Janus, he realized how horrified he must’ve been judging by his raised eyebrows and extremely thinned lips. He must’ve been trying his best not to question any creature he witnessed in this hellish side of the Imagination, and Remus felt flattered that Janus still remained by his side despite the horrific surroundings. Janus eventually shook his head and avoided gazing at the snail being eaten by the snake creature. “Apologies, er, four things you can feel?”

Remus’s grip on the cloak suddenly tightened, “Well, obviously the cloak. Uhm, it’s strings—” Remus wiggled his bare feet that laid on the ground, “I could also feel the grass and— and some water. I don’t think I’ve dried up just yet.”

“Three things you can hear?”

“The snake-human hybrid feasting on the snail it just killed—” Remus heard a muffled disgusted sound from Janus but didn’t comment on it, “The wind too— I think a tornado’s coming. And—” Remus successfully punctured another hole onto Janus’s ruined cloak, “—cloth being ripped. Sorry about your cloak.”

“Apology not needed. Two things you can smell?”

“Mold. I think it’s coming from the lake. And I think that’s—” Remus sniffed, “—smoke? Could be dead bodies. I dunno. Staying here for too long made me lose the ability to differentiate bad smells.”

Janus slightly winced at Remus’s statement but continued on, “One thing you can taste?”

“Red velvet mixed with gross lake water.” Remus replied, gazing at the abandoned tupperware on his left. His stomach grumbled at the idea of finishing the cake but his hands were too preoccupied with cloak shredding that he didn’t bother with it at all.

“I have told you before and I will tell you again: I’m not one to sugarcoat things, especially when false comfort is never going to bring you anywhere.” Janus explained as Remus nodded in understanding, “But, while these problems are quite terrifying to deal with, they also are manageable with enough time and patience. There’s no avoiding the fact that Logan is going to be part of our side of the Mindscape soon— we honestly should’ve seen it sooner after witnessing all the neglect he’s been receiving. But through thorough planning and careful conversations with B and hopefully, Thomas, we can understand that these problems aren’t too complex at all.

“We both may be figments of Thomas’s personalities, but we are also human, despite, you know, our weird animal traits. These thoughts swarming around your head like to overcomplicate situations when they might not be as awful as they seem. Again, they’re all defeatable after careful planning, and I assure you that you have my support along the way. B and Logan are also there to share their support. And I know B— we both know B— he’s impulsive, but he isn’t stupid. I’m sure B has already overheard about Logan’s transition to our side and is trying his best to adapt. And Logan loves you, Remus, he will plan something, I’m sure of it.

“And as for you… well, there’s no avoiding that we all are at fault for this entire scenario, but you, out of every side in the Mindscape, has probably contributed the least to Logan’s neglect. But it’d also be useless to dwell on the idea further when Logan’s just about to transfer any time soon. Just understand that while we have made some mistakes in the past, we’ve also grown from them and have changed. And while I can’t fully speak on Logan’s behalf, it’s quite obvious that you’ve made his life much happier.”

Remus smiled sourly to himself, slowly processing everything Janus had just stated to him. “Thank you, Jannie,” he said, earning a smug grin from Janus. “I guess I just needed some rest.”

“With how overwhelming your thoughts are at the moment, you definitely need to rest. I don’t think you’re used to having ten million problems at once.”

Suddenly, a metaphorical lightbulb flashed within Remus’s head, eyes widening at Janus’s statement, “I— wait. Hold on. Maybe that’s the problem here!”

“Not resting? Well, yes, technically—”

“No, you idiot! I forget you lose your brain cells from time to time.” Remus commented, earning an irritated huff form Janus. “What I mean is— I’ve never been used to handling so many issues all at once. Like I…” Remus snapped one string off the cloth, “For all my life, I’ve been so complacent. The only issues I’ve ever dealt with were my intrusive thoughts and my insecurities and then, well, Thomas started reaching out to us more and... there was a shift. You understand me, right? Like, everything felt like it was changing once Thomas began to rely on the other sides more.

“I was never involved in any heavy issue. More than anything, I cause many problems without giving a shit about the consequences! And then Logan happened and everything just changed again. I was so used to not caring about anything that when every problem just started stacking up, I was... overwhelmed. It made me feel like I was responsible for everything, every little issue, and I felt like I was going to ruin everything.”

“But you were just not accustomed to juggling different issues all at once?”

“Right,” Remus replied. They stayed silent for a few moments, Janus letting Remus ponder about his newfound revelation. While a dull sense of relief settled within Remus, there was still a sense of disappointment that lingered around. He couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous this all was. The problem was just so… childish. Immature. Really fucking dumb. For someone who nagged on incessantly about how pathetic Thomas was for pampering himself and his viewers constantly, Remus was being such a pathetic wimp himself.

“This was all so stupid,” Remus murmured, impassively staring off into the distance. “I’ve eaten four bottles of Vicks, I’ve killed three boars with my bare hands, fuck, I’ve tried recreating every monster from the SCP Foundation universe and tried to fight them all in a single arena! And yet this is what bothers me? It doesn’t make sense.”

“Is it supposed to?”

Remus paused for a few, “Damn,” he said, slightly breathless, “you’re good at this. Can I hire you to be my therapist?” Remus joked, his lips forming a half-smirk.

“I thought I already was.” Janus replied, “I’ll expect payment in forms of self-care.”

Remus tilted his head with a displeased pout, “Ew. Too expensive— I never agreed to any of these terms and conditions. Can we rediscuss your bill policies?”

Before replying, Janus sighed and swiftly stood up. Remus gazed at him in confusion before Janus stretched out an arm in front of Remus, implying that he was going to bring him somewhere else. “Nope, and I think it’s time for you to start paying back.”

Remus’s eyebrows slanted inwards at the abrupt demand, somewhat urged to refuse Janus’s order immediately. Janus seemed to recognize Remus’s hesitance right away as he lowered his hand in annoyance, placing it on his hip.

“I don’t want to return to my room just yet.”

Janus quirked an eyebrow at him, “I didn’t say we were going to your room, Remus, I’m not a fool.” Janus explained, and that made Remus loosen up a bit. “I was going to ask if you want to sleep in my room for tonight.”

Remus’s eyes widened at the offer but was definitely not dismayed by the suggestion. Faint memories of him and Virgil discreetly sneaking into Janus’s room on sleepless nights flitted across his mind as a warm yet pleasant feeling of nostalgia bubbled in his chest. Remus reminisced about the times where Janus would tiredly extract the pull-out bed from underneath his own bed as he and Virgil would enthusiastically hop on the bed before Janus would sing them a soothing lullaby. While Virgil was mostly a taboo subject between him and Janus nowadays, those old memories still sparked some odd comforting feeling within Remus, and he couldn’t help but smile in fondness.

“Well,” Remus started, “why didn’t you begin with that, penis squared?” Remus added with a genuine grin, scrambling to get a hold of the torn cloak and the abandoned tupperware. Janus mirrored his smile, albeit slightly tired, and reached out again to pull Remus up.

Once up, Remus dusted off any dirt that soiled his green hoodie before standing next to Janus. “I’ll make sure to set up a playlist of soap crushing videos for you to fall asleep to. While I didn’t want to do much work, I did grab some pillows, plushies, and fidget toys in advance just so you don’t have to return to your room for the night. The only thing I can’t help you with is breakfast in the morning because even if I wanted to do something sweet, we both know that I’m a fabulous chef.”

Remus barked out a laugh, “I wouldn’t want you to cook anything for me either. I feed all your failed meal attempts to Cthulhu.”

“...Poor Cthulhu.”

“But still, thanks for everything else, mother.” Remus said, earning an eye roll from Janus, “Where would I ever be without you?”

“Probably dead in a ditch.”

Remus barked out another laughter, “To be fair, I think I’d rather be dead in a ditch than face any of the crap I’m dealing with now. I think the corpse germs would treat me far better than how Thomas is treating me now.” Remus joked in between forced laughs as Janus’s face quickly dropped. Remus’s laughter only stopped when he felt Janus’s scaly palm touch his forearm and thumb over it soothingly. Remus looked at his hand, then at Janus’s face. His eyebrows are knitted together in concern but his lips formed a small, calming smile.

“This’ll all pass soon, Remus. Everything will be okay,” assured Janus as Remus quietly blinked twice at the statement before his lip quivered involuntarily. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

With glossy eyes, Remus nodded, “Yeah, yeah, let’s go.”

[kinetic-elaboration]

October 30: 1x21 The Return of the Archons

Took a break from Halloween-ing to watch TOS with my mom. Today’s ep, the rather lackluster Return of the Archons.

A very in media res beginning! Unsurprisingly since a lot of the drama of this episode hangs on the audience not knowing the whole story.

Sulu is looking damn fine. These weird outfits really do it for him.

Maybe O’Neill had the right idea in running instead of waiting for the transporter. (Or maybe not, seeing as we later find out they caught him too.)

Look at the heels on their boots lol. I always forget about that.

Today’s official adventure: looking for the missing ship Archon.

“Sulu’s mysterious condition requires that I, the Captain, collect all of the most important people on board the ship and beam down into a planet we already know to be full of dangers.”

“Materialization completed.” Uh good to know Kirk.

Why is Spock wearing that dramatic-ass cloak? (I know it’s because he needs a hood to cover his ears but he still looks very much not of a piece.)

Whereas McCoy looks like a down-home Georgia gentleman. He looks like he’s returned to his natural habitat.

I bet these are the sort of outfits AOS Kirk wished he was wearing when he was sighing wearily at his closet filled with uniforms.

I love that this planet is clearly the set of a Western. Or... Maybury. Or also Miri.

Not only did The 100 steal S3 from this episode, it also stole the Red Sun from it, didn’t it?

They keep saying they came for the festival and yet it is VERY clear they don’t know what the festival is. This disguise is not working.

It got dark damn fast. They’re outside, it’s almost 12--one would assume that’s 12 noon--and then they go inside, talk for about 3 minutes, go to another room, and it’s pitch black out!

Is this like The Purge? (I asked myself this while we were watching and--spoiler alert!--it is! The Purge was based, perhaps subconsciously, on this ep.)

Kirk looks very handsome in this ep. Like whoever directed it looks like he’s in love with him.

“Crewmen, here are your various assignments... Mr. Spock... come with me, somewhere private. To talk.”

Spock sleeping with his eyes open. (Meditating, my mom says.)

Oh look, it’s the secret police, in their brown robes.

Landru doesn’t seem too gentle lmao. “No dissent is allowed. You will be absorbed.” Randomly killing that guy who kinda said “maybe, uh, the festival...isn’t great??”

Kirk makes one comment about how everyone’s slow on the uptake here, and slow to respond to questions and denials, and Spock goes heart eyes. “Captain, how are you so smart and logical?”

“Fascinating, this is merely a hollow tube, Captain.” And uh I guess we’re never going to explain how that hollow tube kills people then?

They’re communing...

Love that Spock points out that the people are being communicated with through telepathy. Though... I remain sightly perplexed how the computer can do that. The next stage in Apple computing I guess.

Why isn’t Reger affected by all this? Like they imply that some people are spared the “festival” festivities because of their age, but that doesn’t seem to explain why he’s not “of the body.” Like being of the body isn’t a choice that people make, you’re ether absorbed or you’re not. They say later that he’s immune--but that in itself requires explanation. Like idk it seems a major plot hole that there can even be a resistance when the computer has controlled the society for thousands of years.

So I guess the backstory on the Archon ship is that they were all either absorbed or killed when they objected to the computer and its creepiness.

I do think the little hints that the society used to be way more advanced are intriguing.

“What should we do about this body that’s going to act as a tracking beacon right to us?” / “Uh, knock him out again.”

This planet is so peaceful.. no war or crime... except for people occasionally beating and raping each other nbd.

Was that Starfleet Officer really just going to shoot that projection? Not the best and the brightest being recruited nowadays I guess.

“The creature called Landru.”

“Enough analysis.” Spock always wants to talk through the whole backstory of the weird situations they’re in, while Kirk is a man of action!

Bones is really not being used to full capacity in this ep. He’s just kinda there in the background, until he’s absorbed.

Spock is very concerned about what will happen to the Captain, but also kind of... skeptical about this whole thing. For someone in control of his emotions he exhibits a lot of emotions imo.

“Happy communing!” Just gonna say this all the time now.

Time for another mind meld. So casual about it now.

Spock’s face during Kirk’s Landru-imitating speech is HILARIOUS. That eyebrow! The eye roll! I really think he’s amused by all of this.

He’s not very good at pretending to be absorbed. He sees Jim and he’s immediately like “Captain...!” all normal like.

“The peace of the factory, the tranquility of the machine.”

“You’re thinking the same thing I am. Mr. Spock... I love you.”

It’s pretty awesome that the same ep that introduces the Prime Directive also immediately finds Kirk forming loopholes in it. “We’re not supposed to interfere.... in living, growing cultures, which this isn’t! Moral conundrum solved.”

Spock actually straight up punched a man in the face lol.

Interesting that the communicators work like that--Spock is talking to the Enterprise on his, and Kirk just slides into the conversation on his device, without Spock abandoning his call. I think because they became cell phones irl that I think of them as cells but they’re not. It’s just weird to see them casually used in these totally bonkers ways.

Lol he returned them to a simpler, easier time. I guess you could say Landru made Beta III great again.

So Reger had second thoughts about actually destroying Supreme Leader once it got too real?

Interesting how Landru’s lair is so much more sci-fi-y in aesthetic than the town. Another hint of what the society used to look like.

Spock without the cloak. Damn son.

“We do not intend to die.” That’s a good attitude.

Revealing the Wizard behind the curtain...

“The whole society is a machine’s concept of perfection.”

A man programming himself into an all knowing machine that lives forever really does remind me of Becca and ALIE except with a 60s aesthetic--a large, physical computer rather than an AI.

“The good of the body is the Prime Directive.” Tbh I feel like what this whole ep is saying is that sometimes Prime Directives need to be bent if the reality of the situation doesn’t square with the spirit of the directive.

I love when Kirk destroys computers using Extreme Logic.

That should be a presidential debate question "What have you done to do justice to the full potential of every individual of the body?"

“Well, now that that’s done, we’re going to go. Have fun rebuilding your entire society from nothing. We’ll leave you a single sociologist to help out.”

So Mr. Sulu is back to normal, and he immediately returns to the bridge to give a little, goofy sitcom smile-and-shrug and kick some random extra outta his chair.

Why do they assume Landru was a good guy lol? I mean he solved their extreme violence problem but he instituted a plenty of other problems instead. Also he was clearly a megalomaniac.

This society’s backstory sounds an awful lot like pre-reform Vulcan. Maybe they should just send a Vulcan to teach them Surak’s ways.

Honestly they were left alone for like an hour and had a handful of fist fights. I think they really were a very violent people! Maybe destroying the dictator-computer was a bad idea!

I find it very odd that the whole festival thing was never actually explained. I guess it must have been a purge idea--that because they are so naturally violent and terrible aliens, they need to let off that steam in some way every now and again, and they do this through a “festival” of no-holds-barred violence. Still kinda wish they’d explicitly circled back on that in some way though.

I think the most interesting part of this episode was the planet’s back story. Kirk acts in the end as if they were basically human, but they’re not. Also, I got the impression that Landru convinced people to follow him first, and then only when he died, set himself up as an eternal God/Computer. So he must have been a very interesting, charismatic person. And that one of his ideas was to return to a “simpler time” in everything from dress to architecture, as if that had any real correlation with levels of violence is... fascinating. Was that the hook that he hung his reform on?

Overall, as I said, not a super strong S1 episode, but not bad at all. Next week is Space Seed, a classic episode that unfortunately was absolutely wrung dry by too many repeats over the course of the franchise. (...Yes I am referring specifically to STID obviously.) Still that shouldn’t take away from the brilliance of the original!

[janiedean]

Honestly, I would like to hear you rant about Brienne's s5 storyline and her killing Stannis. It felt weird to me that in the book there's this whole thing with Lady Stoneheart wanting revenge and using Brienne as a tool to to try and get it tho she probably won't get it, and then in the show it's Brienne still seeking revenge for Renly and actually getting it. Like there's a "revenge isn't actually a good thing" theme that got lost along the way.

... lmao.

well okay this is not for renly fans so just so you know, you’re warned.

now.

I don’t have.... like, anything specific against renly nor I think he’s a Bad Person which is why in modern aus I just let him be his best version, but.. canon renly Is An Asshole when it concerns his brother, his niece and brienne and that’s A Thing because like sorry but skipping succession ‘because no one likes you but they like me’ is not a good reason to do anything, ‘my niece is so ugly ew grayscale’ is just bottom level of being... let’s just say vapid, and it’s canon that the reason he keeps brienne around is not that he cares about her, it’s because he knows she’s good at what she does and doesn’t want nothing in return and actually would die for him, which........

considering that brienne would have died for renly because he was nice to her once and danced with her which is like bare minimum for decent human being, sorry if I side-eye this narrative that renly believed in her etc because sorry guys renly in asoiaf canon didn’t give a single fuck about that;

specifically, when it comes to brienne renly is that one crush you get at some point that you’re in love with the idea of, not with the person they actually are, and as someone wise said on some post once, brienne thought she would die for him and didn’t and didn’t know she could die for jaime but she immediately knew when she had the choice, so I think that just seals it, but ahead with that...

affc is also about brienne getting over renly because she was in love with the idea of renly, not with renly himself, never mind that renly wasn’t in love with her anyway and could have never been. like, all of her affc povs are about that. she thinks about him less and less, she superimposes jaime on him like ffs when she’s naked in the bath she has to MAKE HERSELF THINK ABOUT RENLY, at some point she dreams of renly’s death except it’s jaime in his place, then jaime puts renly’s cloak on her shoulders and at the end of it when she has that dream which is sort of very similar to jaime’s in asos where he sees people he thinks he disappointed and she sees renly and cat.... well. it’s because she thinks she disappointed them, or that she failed them, but she’s plain not in love with him (or his idea of) anymore;

now, she also swore to cat she’d kill stannis in revenge for him... and she’s never so much as thought about it. ffs there is ONE single instance of brienne thinking about stannis in affc. THIS ONE:He shrugged. "Sometimes. At tourneys, from afar. Once at Baelor's Sept. The gold cloaks shoved us aside so he could pass. Another time I was playing near the Mud Gate when he come back from a hunt. He was so drunk he almost rode me down. A big fat sot, he was, but a better king than these sons of his."They are not his sons. Stannis told it true, that day he met with Renly. Joffrey and Tommen were never Robert's sons. This boy, though . . . "Listen to me," Brienne began. Then she heard Dog barking, loud and frantic. "Someone is coming."IT’S WHEN SHE RECOGNIZES THAT GENDRY IS ROBERT’S SON AND THAT STANNIS WAS RIGHT WHEN HE SAID TOMMEN AND MYRCELLA WEREN’T HIS. that’s it. that’s all brienne has to think about stannis in affc. she doesn’t think about killing him once.guess why? because meanwhile she’s found better things to think about and she doesn’t feel the need to avenge renly as much as she feels the need to fulfill her vow to catelyn and jaime and she’s fucking over renly and she has realizes at least subconsciously that guess what she didn’t want to die for him;

the entire point was that she is over her crush on a guy who might have been decent to her though it was the bare minimum anyone should have shown her but who didn’t give two shits about her personally and that she thought she could and would die for, and sorry if being willing to die for someone because he danced with you isn’t healthy as much as people don’t want to accept the fact that brienne has Issues with the capital I;

therefore, the moment the show dragged her north FOR RENLY and OMG I HAVE TO KILL STANNIS FOR RENLY before getting her stuck watching a tower for a season for that crap joke of a winterfell storyline and don’t get me started on how they made brienne’s sl secondary to sansa for three seasons when surely her point in her narrative is not that ita) ignored that brienne had a character arc that included getting over renlyb) elevated renly to sainthood (forget saint tyrion) because it implied that yes he was that nice dancing with her so yes he deserves her avenging his death when sorry but what the fucking fuck he just paid her the bare minimum it didn’t mean she should have joined his army for it or that she should avenge him for having being a decent person oncec) made it look like renly actually gave a shit about her for real when lmao nod) trashed lady stoneheart when as you said they lost the REVENGE IS A BAD IDEA theme and all that she brought with bc stoneheart is fundamental for both jaime and brienne as characters but hey let’s just stick brienne serving other people without a personal storyline and let’s not let jaime have his arc because what the fuck amritee) missed all of the themes in her affc arc because where was meribald? where was the anti-war message? where was the fact that brienne is a vulnerable person with doubts? we saw none of that shit except oMG SHE KILLED STANNIS BADASSSSS. yeah, no. character assassination my old friend here we are;

now, specifically re stannis: what angers me on a molecular level in that choice, not counting the fact that never in my life I ever want to see character #1 I relate to in a series (and period) kill character #2 I relate to in that same series without any goddamned reason to do that but that’s personal is that....... since brienne doesn’t give a fuck about avenging renly anymore in the book it’s very likely that if she and stannis meet again they might actually like talk about things and now I’mma give you the other hot take of the year....

... which is that I would like it if people saw that actually if brienne were to get along with one baratheon brother, she and stannis would have a lot more chances to hit off than she and renly ever could have because sorry but:a) they’re both introverts with huge issues communicating with others who also have been treated like shit for their entire lives based on people judging them before they opened their mouthb) as much as brienne isn’t THAT hard on it she has a sense of justice that he’d definitely appreciatec) if we assume that a guy with a daughter with grayscale whom renly also referred to as ‘that ugly daughter of his’ who is considered disfigured by everyone who still treats her like his only heir and doesn’t gaf about her looks would give two shits about brienne’s looks and not about her skills instead then we assume wrong nvm that stannis has a hand who used to be an illiterate commoner and melisandre used to be a slave like.... come on he’d definitely treat her with respect and not just because he needs herd) reverse, if she saw how he is with his daughter thaaat might remind her of her father not having forced her to marry eventually and agreeing to let her join renly/learn swordfighting instead I mean... come one) never mind that as stated before both of them are way more similar when it comes to take your vows seriously than notlike........... okay but with these premises if they meet when they need all the men they can spare to fight the white walkers I’d presume they will actually talk about renly’s death and get an understanding, not that she’ll take out a sword and impale him there especially if it’s post lady stoneheart which is the point in her sl where she 100% understands you can’t follow all of your vows and you will have to choose at some point (btw she chose jaime already over stoneheart and we all know it bye)...

which means that having her kill him in the show after a thing they made happen from 0 to 180 just to make him look irredeemable, for renly when brienne doesn’t gaf in the books anymore and reinforcing this - excuse me - bullshit narrative of saint renly who was the ideal king and never did anything wrong except trying to pass over stannis who was ahead of him in the line and further creating drama in that damned war because his brother didn’t happen to be immediately likable (nvm that I have issues with the fact that renly doesn’t even seem to remember having been at storm’s end during the siege which means that stannis made sure he actually had to eat while everyone else was starting to consider cannibalism but hey who cares that my brother almost died and never let me starve with the entirety of the castle I’ll now go and stab him in the back because NAAAH WHY SHOULD I SUPPORT HIM? sorry but what the fucking fuck) while stannis was an asshole who eventually got what he deserved because he wasn’t fun amrite will never not irk me to a molecular level because that wasn’t brienne’s storyline anymore and it hasn’t been since asos, the renly vs stannis situation is way more complicated than renly was nice and stannis was an asshole, stannis is nowhere near the piece of cardboard dnd think he is and the fact that both characters didn’t move on from their renly-related trauma but that it went down in the cheapest most ooc way ever should have woken people up about how dnd couldn’t be trusted for shit with these books if the WF adaptation of the adwd storyline hadn’t showed that already.

tldr: it was ooc and an insult to both characters and also can we stop with the saint renly narrative, thanks.

[fangirlinglikeabus]

i read some non vna dw books a while ago but because i am a Clown i’ve only just finished typing up notes on them...i think my next dw book i’ll make notes as i go rather than just marking the pages and Hoping I Remember. anyway! here’s my thoughts on thirteen doctors 13 stories. i have more opinions on some than others. 

A BIG HAND FOR THE DOCTOR

"...Susan, who was possibly the only person in the universe who could make the Doctor smile at the mere thought of her."

awwwwww

didn't really like this one that much - i wasn't too impressed with eoin colfer's characterisation of the first doctor (esp since pre-ian and barbara i don’t think he’d willingly attempt to stop some villains until susan was in danger)

THE NAMELESS CITY

Polly...once described him as looking like an unmade bed.

lmao

...he didn't know exactly what he was, though when he was growing up, he had heard tales of the legendary fairy creatures of the Unseelie Court who haunted Scotland's deepest valleys. He suspected the Doctor might be one of the dark Sith.

HEAVILY vibe with this concept the world is saved by bagpipes.......peak dw THE SPEAR OF DESTINY

"You know what I love about London?" he said, turning to her briefly. She sighed. "I'm sure I can't guess." "It's the only city in the universe where you can drive around in a car that's seventy years old and get away with it." "Who says you're getting away with it?" Jo muttered. 

nkdfsjksn

"Fire away!"

"Oh, Doctor, please. Not after that business at the museum."

no doctor is immune to the temptation of a good pun. no matter how inappropriate. actually i really like how jo and three are written in this generally. there's so many good scenes. also, when the doctor asks her why she doesn't know anything about the vikings: "Doctor, we did the Romans. Every year." rip jo

From a distance the Doctor watched as a group of about twenty men loaded the TARDIS on to the back of a large low wagon pulled by four sturdy oxen.

jo: the doctor told me about the perception filter on the tardis so it'll be fine! they won't even spot it. literally the next scene, immediately:

She longed to stand and give this old goat a piece of her mind, but she knew she'd most likely fall over if she tried, which wasn't the effect she was after.

aw jo :(

"Do you know they wash once a week?" "Could have fooled me," muttered Jo.

*desperately resists the urge to write down every jo line in this story*

"I have the ship. And I have the spear. What need have I of you any more?"

the master is betrayed. to the surprise of no-one but himself.

The Doctor held her by the shoulders. "My dear girl," he said. "That is very noble of you. You were right. Your aspirations /are/ the very noblest. But you're wrong about something. Nothing is more important than you."

me, sobbing:

ROOTS OF EVIL

realised as i was reading this that i don't own any books featuring leela.....a crime

"Surprise!" the Doctor said. "You know you were complaining that you missed trees?"

this is actually the cutest thing no-one look at me

She could never understand why the Doctor was so careless of danger. It was a good thing he had her to look after him, she thought, as he opened the TARDIS door and they stepped out together into dim, green light and the earthy, warm-compost smell inside the great tree.

phillip reeve gets the four+leela dynamic. like. he Gets it. 

"It will not hurt you," she promised. "It is called a 'scarf'. It is like a cloak, only pointless."

ousdofnsoksfd

"Did it look a bit like a gravel pit? You'd be amazed how many alien worlds look just like gravel pits..."

what is doctor who. without quarry jokes.

"I mean, he's wearing a bow tie!" the Doctor explained patiently. "Ridiculous objects! I wouldn't be seen dead in a bow tie!"

1) says the guy who wears an obnoxiously long scarf everywhere 2) honey, you've got a big storm coming

TIP OF THE TONGUE

there's a scene in this where nyssa and the doctor chill at a diner and they drink chocolate milkshakes together. this is all i care about.

Good Lord, was that celery he was wearing on his lapel?

Yeah We Know

"Are you British?" Nettie said, as if this was the most surprising part of the whole thing.

i mean, fair

He paused. "I don't suppose either of you would be interested in travelling?"

the fifth doctor: hey one of my friends died recently and i abandoned the other one but i really miss having a large crew so i was wondering if you two literal children would like to risk your life travelling with me :)

SOMETHING BORROWED

you'd think given this one is from peri's pov she'd be slightly more central to the plot. ah well.

"That's two storeys up!" I exclaimed. "And I'm in heels." "Well then, you should have worn more sensible shoes, shouldn't you?"

maybe she lives in hope that she won't have to do any running/scale buildings every time she steps out of the tardis. i get that. 

"Well, you are the expert when it comes to gaudy," I said, giving a meaningful look to his red-and-yellow plaid coat and green tie.

every six story is legally obligated to drag his coat

The Doctor shook the man's hand vigorously. "Yes, yes. A little different round the edges since our last meeting on Kiri 4, but all the charm and intellect are still here."

i love this bastard.......

"Love? That contrived, chemically driven state of idiocy?"

mood

A clatter of metal was the sole warning I had before a hole in the ceiling suddenly opened, and the Doctor came tumbling down to the floor, landing in an ungraceful heap of rainbow plaid. Nonetheless, he rose to his feet with all the dignity of an Olympic gymnast who'd just landed a perfect somersault.

not to sound like a broken record but i would Die for this idiot

withholding myself from using more quotes to illustrate my unbridled love for the sixth doctor whom..........

"You might regret not helping me with this one day," she  [the Rani] called over to us. "Your next regeneration may be sooner than you think."

Huh. I Wonder What That's Referring To

RIPPLE EFFECT

From the look on his face, Ace reckoned that a visit to the Time Lords was something similar to her having to visit the dentist back on Earth.

i mean to be fair.....the time lords are a whole lot worse although in this case the doctor's reasons for not wanting to visit are: (i) they're 'old, boring and judgemental' (ii) they have stupid clothes and a stupid non-intervention policy (iii) they treat him 'like a naughty schoolboy' (can't have that in front of your companion!)

i apparently didn't have many comments to make on this one. um...it was good. i liked the idea of an alternate universe with nice daleks. MOVING ON

SPORE

"They're all dead....everyone's dead, flesh turned to liquid. It moves...There are things! Moving things! They're alive..." Major Platt looked up at the Doctor. "The caller became incoherent after that and disconnected shortly after." The Doctor drummed his fingers thoughtfully against the top of the aluminium folding-table between them. "Hmm...That really doesn't sound very good."

YEAH YA THINK?

"I was at the opera," the Doctor explained, "when my phone went off."

this is his excuse for That outfit. really just copying everything from grace here huh

THE BEAST OF BABYLON

She also didn't yet know that he wasn't a man at all.

yeah cos he's non-binary duh

"So now we're landing on Earth," he shouted, "two thousand years before the birth of Christ..." "Who?" "He was a bit like Sherlock Holmes. Knew the answers to everything. Very good at solving mysteries. Some humans use him to measure time."

obsessed with the implications of this dialogue...

THE MYSTERY OF THE HAUNTED COTTAGE

absolutely love the concept of this one...a world created from martha's memories of reading a famous five expy as a child

"What?" Martha said defensively, keeping her voice down. "That's how he was described in the books. Don't blame me. This was 1951. Everything back then was blinkered, sexist, and ever-so-slightly racist. It was a backward time." "Ah, yes," said the Doctor, "because 2007 has none of those things."

vibe with this convo

"Am I lonely?" Martha asked. "You're a particle of dust," the Doctor said. "Of course you're not lonely." "I sound lonely." "Well you're not; you're having a great time."

this conversation where the doctor tells martha to imagine herself as a particle of dust has exactly the same kind of energy as discussions you have at 3am at a sleepover

NOTHING O'CLOCK

Amy looked irritated. She wasn't irritated, but she liked to give him the impression she was, just to show him who was boss.

yeah...

ok the villains in this one are actually really fucked up like. it's been a While since i read it now because i procrastinated on making these notes but they were Good creepy. thank you mr gaiman. 

LIGHTS OUT

now THIS is one where the pov heavily contributes to the story...

He turns to look at me with piercing, hollow-set grey eyes, then furrows his impressive silvery brows. "I'm buying a coffee," he says. "For a girl."

so THAT'S why twelve took so long to find coffee for clara......he wasn't buying it on earth. good vibes

TIME LAPSE

i absolutely LOVE the concept for this one, which is that the year 2004 completely disappears from records

A typed envelope reading The Doctor, The TARDIS, Ex-Gallifrey followed by a long string of numbers, letters, and things that probably were letters but looked like they came from about eight different languages.

obsessed with the fact that (i) you can apparently send letters to the tardis, like it has an actual address (mel throwing a message in a bottle into space doesn't seem so unreasonable now huh...) (ii) part of this address is 'ex-gallifrey'

this dude gets rejected. and is so badly embarrassed that he erases 2004 from existence. i promise i'm not making this up.

[the-potter-analyst]

Chapter 15 - The Forbidden Forest

Harry Potter and the Sacred Text word of the day: Regret

So much regret going around lol. I’ll start with a question the hosts of the podcast brought up: why do Harry and Hermione feel so much regret? They didn’t seem to be able to wrap their heads around what exactly the two feel regret over, but it didn’t seem that complicated to me? You have to remember that they’re still children who want to be good students, like Hermione is all about excelling at school and Harry just wants to belong in the wizarding world, so letting their house (and other houses) and McGonagall down must feel devastating, especially for the fact that they lost such an extreme amount of house points. And the House Cup seems to be the world to Hogwarts students at this point because Slytherin has reigned undefeated for so long, so Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff want more than anything to knock them from their throne. Harry and Hermione don’t regret helping Hagrid, he’s their friend and they’d always help him in a heart beat, but they feel immensely regretful for failing their house and the expectations they’re trying to uphold. It doesn’t feel to good to get punished when you had good intentions either, particularly for a child. And it doesn’t help that so many people gave them a hard time about it. What’s worse is that they can’t even tell the real reason of why they were in the Astronomy Tower without getting Hagrid into trouble too.

Speaking of the Astronomy Tower, why is it off limits except for classes? 🤔 

Regret and guilt are such weird emotions, because you can’t always explain the reason behind them and sometimes feel regret or guilt for things you had no control over. The hosts also talked about the dead unicorn and how Harry described the sight as having “never seen anything so beautiful and sad.” Sometimes we feel regretful for death when we had nothing to do with what happened. Is it regret for not having intervened or done something about it? I’m not an expert in how to deal with regret and guilt, but I think one way is remembering that things like that... aren’t really your responsibility I guess. Sometimes stuff happens that are out of our control and we have to find ways to make peace with that. Maybe it’s acceptance, maybe it takes creative form, maybe it’s action to prevent meaningless tragedies from happening in the future.

One thing that doesn’t solve those feelings is to stop doing the things that make you happy or are passionate about. Like for Hermione, she stopped trying to actively learn in an attempt to not draw attention to herself. Harry almost quit the Quidditch team if Oliver didn’t reprimand him for trying to do so. This is just a reminder that not doing something you love because of guilt will do more harm than good in the long run. If the guilt is tied to something else, I cannot stress enough the importance of seeing a professional. Even if it isn’t, seeking therapy is always a good idea no matter what mental state you’re in.

That... went more deep than I was planning to, so uh, let’s talk a little about Neville instead. He has such subtle moments of growth but at the same time they’re HUGE developments. Just the other chapter, he needed a pep talk about belonging in Gryffindor and almost immediately after he stood up to Draco. And now, he’s even going out at night just to warn Harry and Hermione about what Draco was planning. This is the same kid who was afraid to wait outside Gryffindor Tower because of the Bloody Baron roaming around!

Hermione was ever the logical person by suggesting that the should go to Dumbledore about the stone (and should’ve gone to earlier). She’s right, especially on the matter of Norbert because I know for sure that Dumbledore wouldn’t harm Hagrid, even if the trio didn’t know it at the time. But what Harry replied with made me stop: who do you think they’ll believe, him or us? And that got me thinking about how so often do children not go to adults because they think that what they say will be brushed aside and trivialized or thought to be a flat out lie. There are so many things wrong with society, and the fact that children can’t trust adults is one of them. Us adults have failed as guardians, teachers, confidants, etc if we can’t even provide our children a safe space to speak their minds.

Onto more story related things I went deep again, not only was Mars mentioned as being bring while in the Forbidden Forest, the Moon was too! So I looked up what they mean in astrology :D Mars is the planet of energy, action, and desire but it also rules our animal instincts for aggression, anger, and survival. In more immediate matters, this probably refers to Voldemort killing unicorns and drinking their blood, but centaurs are prophetic creatures, they look at the big picture. Mars being bright could also point to the Second Wizarding War, where much of the forest was affected and where Harry went to be killed. Ronan also says “always the innocent are the first victims” which makes me think of the random disappearances of people right before and after Voldemort regained a body. The centaurs were also up in their feelings about Harry being in the forest and not interfering with the heavens. Hermione called divination “imprecise” which is an interesting way to put it, a negative spin on it being indefinite. The future can be foretold, but there’s never a definite answer on how and when. The centaurs may know “Harry Potter will face Voldemort in the forest and die” but they might not know when, which is why Bane freaked out about Firenze saving Harry. Oh I almost forgot about the moon lol. The moon represents our deepest personal needs, our basic habits and reactions, and our unconscious. It is reactionary, which is an interesting juxtaposition to Mars, and also it associated with the mother. If Voldemort is Mars, then Harry is probably the moon since the moon is about safety and security and he also has his mother’s protection charm. Lmao I also found this: When we are “acting out” our Moon, we are imaginative, creative, intuitive, sentimental, adaptable, introspective, and protective. On the negative side, we can be moody, restless, and irrational. If that ain’t Harry Potter 🤣

Small things:

I wonder if Harry and Hermione ever talked to Neville about why they were out of bed at night, especially to clear up the misunderstanding that McGonagall caused

What did McGonagall mean when she said that the school wasn’t safe at night “especially these days”? Is she talking about the potential thief out for the Sorcerer’s Stone?

Hermione’s replies to Ronan straight up seemed like stuff Harry would say lmao. Maybe he’s rubbing off on her

Quirrell was “slithering” around in his cloak lol

Also why the fuck is he crawling around like he’s in a horror movie. Like that scene already freaked me out as a child but if they showed him crawling out of the bushes I would never want to watch that scene again.

Shout out to Neville for doing what he was supposed to and sending red sparks when Draco scared him. And he successfully did so even when he was frightened!!

Previous: Chapter 14 - Norbert the Norwegian Ridgeback

Next: Chapter 16 - Through the Trapdoor

[jonsalways]

The 3 Queens of Westeros: A Costume Meta

I should be finishing my  sewing projects but here I am writing this meta lmao. I had a lot of requests for it, so I hope you enjoy it :D

Season 7 clearly had three major characters when we talk about outfits: Cersei, Daenerys and Sansa. I’m gonna talk about Jon’s outfits later but these three ladies are the hot topic when we talk  about hidden meanings. So here we go.

They are Queens

I know Sansa wasn’t crowned [yet] as Queen in the North but let’s be honest she was the queen in the north this season. And not only we feel that, but her costumes have common elements to Daenerys’s and Cersei’s that [alongside with other things] makes me believe she will be fighting for the title of Queen of Westeros next season. The more I analyse the costumes more evident it gets. Also Michele Clapton herself makes sure to talk about Sansa’s outfits everytime she talks about the queen’s costumes, to make sure we’re aware Sansa is connected to it.

Their Inspirations

The first important thing to notice is how the costumes these characters wear mimic characters they are trying, intentionally or not, to be like. The items they wear, the colors but most important the textures they wear show who they are trying to become.

Cersei is mirroring her father, Tywin Lannister more and more. Tywin was a man of black clothing and the texture of his coats would be more rudimentary if he wanted to show  aggression  or smoother at moments he was less a general. Cersei does the same at moments she’s negotiating in private.

She’s  also wearing high collars as her father used to.

Daenerys is mirroring her brother Viserys..She is slowly losing her own style [skirts, long winged sleeves and lots of dragonscales] and heading to a more straight style that resembles her brother.

Sansa is also mirroring her brother. Well, actually her cousin, not that she’s aware that. But aside from episode 7, all Sansa’s outfits are the female version of Jon’s costume as King in the North.If we think Jon actually mimics Robb and Ned, we could also say Sansa mimics them as well.

As the show builds them as wannabe final queens of Westeros they connect through similar elements to show how they share this important role, but at the same time, they wear slightly different versions of items to show how they differ from each other too.

They all wear dark colors.

Sansa wears light grey outfits with brown tones and very few black details. Daenerys wears dark grey with red and silver elements. And Cersei is the only one who actually wears black with lots of silver items.

Cersei is mourning for her children so the  black is always there. By the end of the season as her pregnancy goes on, her dresses became more greyish but the black details still appear. It’s important to notice how Cersei is so obsessed with the Iron Throne she distance herself from the Lannister colors. We see no more red on her outfits, only black and grey with a very few touches of gold.

Sansa is the character more connected to her house colors this season. Grey is the official Stark color alongside brown in the show, and these are the colors we see her wearing all the time, to show her loyalty to house Stark, to Jon and to the North. She wears a lot of unusual textures which I tinfoil  bit about their significance here if you’re interested.

Daenerys is on the edge this season. The more she embraces her Targaryen side more she loses her own clothing trademarks and colors. At her first scene at Dragonstone we see her very usual style, but at the end of episode 7 she’s wearing a way more Targaryen style. I think this is such a shame, since Daenerys’s outfits at season 5 and 6 were so elaborated and full of beautiful details. As season 7 goes her costumes became way more plain, we see no rich embroidery or dragon textures anymore.

Her color became a very dark grey, and she’s wearing red for the very first time, which is literally a red sign. The more red she wears more threatening she is trying to look.

It’s nice to notice that Daenerys was half way madness this season, with very questionable decisions. My guess is that the moment she embraces “fire and blood” for real, she’ll finally wear black and red instead of dark grey and red. Daenerys as a villain would wear only blackwith waaaaaaaaaay more red. A complete red outfit is unlikely but the more red she wears more a threat to everyone else she becomes.

They wear a crown

Michele Clapton only gave a crown to Cersei when she was officially crowned Queen. That’s why Daenerys doesn’t have a crown yet neither have Sansa. But they do have a representation of a crown, they wear chains. If we look back at season 6, before Cersei blows the Sept of Baelor, she wears a chain on her outfit. At that moment she feels powerful, she feels as the true queen because she knows Margaery is going to die. But she wasn’t wearing a crown there, she was wearing a silver chain to symbolize the crown she would wear very soon.

Daenerys and Sansa do the same. Daenerys has this silver chain built over a dorsal spine of a dragon. It represents her strength as  a  dragon queen. It’s very dramatic as Daenerys likes to wear and the silver imo makes a reference to the Iron Throne as well.

Sansa’s chain is very humble when we look at it. Its meaning is also very unique for her. Sansa’s chain is part of her necklace which represents a stitch. Sansa’s chain ends on a needle she hitches at her belt as Jon hitches Longclaw to his. The needle is her weapon, she sews her own destiny with it, and it represents her pride and feeling of safety. It’s important to notice Sansa’s chain is vibrant golden to counter Cersei’s and Daenerys’s and show Sansa has a different kind of “crown” and its inspiration is not the Iron Throne itself.

They have the same silhouette

One of the most fabulous thing about her costumes is the fact they look so similar and yet so different at the same time. They all have the same a similar shape when we look at the shoulders, but in three different versions of it.

Cersei wears a more rounded kind of shoulder pad. Daenerys wears a more triangular one while Sansa wears a more squared shape.

The shoulders may seem a very stupid detail at first but it’s nice to notice Stannis, Robb, Robert, Renly, Tommen and Joffrey they all had different shoulder shapes on their costumes.

I could tinfoil a bit and say the shoulder pads represent somehow what these characters care for and carry over their shoulders as rulers, but their individual meaning I’m not very certain so I leave it to your interpretation.

They wear an armour

All of them wear a piece of clothing to represent an armour somehow.

The more threatened Cersei feels, more embroidery she wears on her costumes and higher the collars on her outfits become.

When she meets Euron for the first time she’s so triggered the embroidery of her outfit is almost ridiculous. She wears them as a protection to her neck, [we would probably do the same if a witch have told us the valonqar was coming for it, right?].

At moments she wants to feel  powerful, her embroidery armour became very threatening, almost as if was thorns coming out of her costume. It’s pure art to be honest.

As Daenerys is never on defensive mode, her armour is way more an item for attack. She wears her chain as a shoulder armour when she fights and  adds a cape to it to send a political message during a meeting. A red one if she’s being aggressive or a more friendly color if she’s being more tolerant as a queen. When she doesn’t see need for a warning, she doesn’t wear it.

Sansa is the most humble queen when we talk about costumes as you can see. Sansa is always protecting her shoulders from the cold, but when she sides with Arya to defeat Littlefinger she changes her fur cloak to a cape with a wood that resembles Arya’s coat. During Littlefinger’s trial she even wears it over only one shoulder as Arya does. Every time Sansa was in a dangerous situation she wore a cape. This tradition was kept at season 7 too, so the cape is her armour.

Cersei x Daenerys

One of the most interesting outfits for Cersei imo is the one she wears at the Dragonpit. Michele Clapton said that was a sort of “undercover Cersei” outfit. It was supposed to make you believe she was being honest but it should reveal she was actually lying the whole time, if you’re smart enough to notice.

Her costume is grey, to deceive you and make you believe she’s not that evil being she is. The black is there as a reminder of her mourning, but the embroidery is not visible over her neck. It makes us believe she’s not on a defensive mode like a lioness. But when we look it at close we see her silhouette looks like there’s a shoulder armour hidden over her coat, and when she turns around we see her threatening back detail. It’s a warning sign almost as she was holding a hidden dagger on her back. That’s precisely its meaning.

The interesting part is that Daenerys winter coat have a similar feature. The threatening back is also there, in Viseryon colors. Of course it may only be a reference to dragons, but if it means something more I leave it up to you.

Cersei x Sansa

Sansa and Cersei share a lot of past experiences together, but at this season they share a very similar outfit. When Arya is questioning Sansa’s loyalty to Jon, Sansa wears one of her most amazing  dresses ever, with only her cloak.  Her  outfit resembles a lot the outfit Cersei wears when Jaime leaves at episode 7. It’s funny to see Sansa is talking about fighting together to  win the great war while wearing this costume, and Cersei is talking about letting the entire north die in the great war while wearing her version of this costume.

Sansa x Daenerys

I have a huge meta about how Daenerys looks resembles Sansa a lot this season and I tinfoil a bit why this is happening, but Daenerys battle suit is waaay more similar to Sansa’s standard dress this season than to any of Cersei’s outfits. At her most vulnerable moments Daenerys wears a very similar hairstyle to Sansa’s as well. Especially around Jon, Daenerys’s looks seem to approach way more to Sansa’s and the reasons for that I leave it up to you too.

Winter is here.

Before the end I’d like to talk about the winters outfit. Jon’s winter costume is amazing. I really love it. It’s just what I think the King in the North should wear.A lot of people thought his coat matches Daenerys’s. Well I’m here to tell you it doesn’t.

His whole costume is very connected to the wildlings, specially to Mance Rayder. Jon’s costume is a younger and more luxous version of Mance’s outfit, with a little bit of Jon Snow on it, with his huge cloak protecting his nape.

I think it’s a very clever joke, about Jon being the King beyond the wall, either he’s aware of it or not. It’s also nice to notice how Jon’s position with Daenerys this season resembles a lot Mance’s with Stannis. They were both trying to save their people from the threat beyond the wall; They  face a ruler who enjoys burning people alive demanding them to bent the knee. Jon’s lines sometimes echo Mance’s and they have this inner struggle of saving their people or losing their respect by submitting to a southerner ruler. Jon is Mance 2.0 this season and this costume reflects that.

Daenerys’s winter coat is very peculiar. The first thing I noticed is how it didn’t look warm enough to be north the Wall. And if we see the backstage shoots we see Emilia was actually freezing on it, because it wasn’t a  warm coat at all. The dragon back is a reference to Viseryon, that’s where its color comes from.

The texture with furs is imo a reference to the Night King himself.While Jon’s is a random pattern made with fur, Daenerys is a regular and somehow geometrical pattern just like the NK. Daenerys’s outfit presents her a the ultimate enemy to the WW’s. Almost as a Yin/Yang thing. She was supposed to be  an alternate, more humanized version of him. Their outfits are two sides of the same coin. His is all in black and blue tones that evoke the cold and frozen winter, while Daenerys’s is all white and cream with touches of silver, to evoke the snow and beauty of the winter.

Daenerys wearing white is something we see a lot when she is trying to be a savior.She used to wear only white at Meereen, where she was considered a mother, a mhysa. So now that she feels like a savior again, rescuing all those people, the white is back.

To be honest with all the drama they put on Daenerys’s wardrobe I was expecting a much more impressive coat for her beyond the wall costume.

This coat it’s not something I really like to be honest, not because I find it ugly or something like that  but bc this coat kind of disappointed me as a costume maker, because I know Michele Clapton could do so much better for a winter design, specially for Daenerys which is such a drama queen when we talk about outfits.

I was thinking a lot about Clapton’s motivations, and then I realized Daenerys’s is not wearing the best winter outfit in the show because Clapton is keeping her best winter design for Sansa.

If Sansa really is going to be crowned Queen in the North next season she’ll have to wear an amazing outfit that stands out how much she IS a Winter Queen. Her costumes will have to be gorgeous so the viewers will look at it and have no doubt about which queen really rules the north.

I’ve always enjoyed Daenerys’s costumes but this season I must say Cersei’s were far better. Now that winter is here I want to see Sansa’s outfits as well.  I’m so excited. Lmao.

[roaringheat]

Wait so what happened to barrett, pleasE, i want to know more!

Im so happy you asked holy shit

Under a read more cause it’s just as long as the last one lmao

I really should have done this before talking about Morgan but im doing it now i guess!! So, starting over again, Barrett goes into the woods to experiment with plant photography cause Morgan likes the outdoors and Barrett wanted to gift him those plant photos as a kinda thank you for the camera thing. I also want to mention that both Barrett and Morgan are in their early to mid 20s rn. He’s wandering and taking pics along the way when suddenly he spots a big bush of pink marigolds. The kind of marigolds that are bigger and have a bunch of smaller ruffled looking petals. He’s immediately intrigued and he doesn’t know exactly why but he starts walking towards it. He’s never seen pink marigolds before and there seemed to be some kind of glow about them so because of that, he crouches down to get some close up pics. The bush suddenly lashes out, immediately grabbing hold of him and dragging him in and thorns that weren’t there before are now suddenly digging into his skin. At this point, he’s thrashing around and being pretty loud which catches the attention of someone named Muriel as she steps into view. She’s a black woman in her late 30s who could be described as a “witch” kind of but i dont really think that term suits her. She’s brandishing an axe covered in charms, got this iridescent cloak sort of outfit, has some gold lines on her face, and both her eyes are this solid dark blue. No pupils or anything. But yea she happens upon this scene cause she was out on a routine check to find and destroy things that have gotten mutated due to the “magic” she does in her house nearby. This plant in particular had basically mutated pretty far to the point where it became basically a carnivore. The reason Barrett was attracted to it so quickly was,because of the mutation, the plant could attract/lure humans and some animals within reaching distance so it could attack and eat them. Everything caused by the mutation is the “glow” Barrett saw which was actually a faint pink aura, the ability to move, and the thorns which were used kinda like venom in the way that with enough of it its supposed to kill the victim quickly so that the attacker can eat with ease. So Muriel is feeling pretty responsible for Barrett being in this position so she goes over and gets him out of there and kills the bush with her axe. The plant managed to get a bit of the venom stuff in Barrett’s system so he’s weak and kinda just passes out after getting saved. Muriel hoists him over her shoulder and takes him back to her house a little further into the woods. She genuinely feels like shit for indirectly being responsible for this so she decides to keep an eye on him til he’s ok again. Barret wakes up in a spare shitty bed in Muriel’s place in the most excruciating pain he’s ever felt all over him as if his whole body was on fire. He launches himself out of bed but just drops to the ground again basically screaming. and Muriel bursts into the room and doesn’t know what to do but she sees him on the ground in pain and then notices he now has this pink aura around him and it starts clicking into place for her. Basically with the venom from the plant, its kinda like a zombie bite. The intent is to kill but if bitten and then left alive, the person would turn into a zombie. In this situation with the plant, the venom was never meant to turn others but yet since Barrett got the venom in his bloodstream and wasnt killed, the plant has basically grown in his body and given him all it’s abilities including some extra stuff. But yea back to the scene, he’s basically begging her to stop the pain in any way possible and so she knocks him out. When he wakes up the 2nd time, the pain is a lot more dull but now he’s freaking out cause he’s now noticing the pink aura and like he almost fuckin died and now he’s in some stranger’s house. Muriel explains to him all of what happened and Barrett is kinda a dick to her cause he absolutely doesnt trust her and i mean like he’s a white man in the 1920s. Ofc Muriel doesn’t take too kindly to that but she’s convinced if she lets him leave while he has no control over the shit that he got into, he’ll get killed. So he stays with her for about a year and eventually they warm up to eachother. That whole year, they both learn most of what exactly Barrett can do now. As far as appearance, his eyes have changed into this shimmery pastel pink and he’s gained that same pink aura that the plant had so his whole body looks tinted pink. They make him look pretty fuckin inhuman so Muriel teaches him how to suppress it so he look normal. It’s easy for him to do (just a bit uncomfortable) as long as he’s in a stable mental state and as soon as he stops holding it back, it’ll come right back out again. As for abilities, He can grow and control those marigolds branches/vines from his skin, heal quicker and more efficiently so he’s a lot harder to kill (although serious wounds can still take him a couple days to heal), and he’s gained the same attraction ability that the plant used to lure victims. This mainly makes people immediately trust him and easier for him to manipulate which comes into play a lot later on. Then they find another ability of his thats completely different than anything the plant had and this one is 100% my favorite. If Barrett is making physical contact with someone else’s skin, he can bring out the most recent emotion that person is feeling towards the person theyre looking at and like amplify it to the extreme. So like for example, if person A is mildy frustrated at that moment with person B and theyre looking person B, when Barrett uses that ability on person A, itll amplify that frustration and make person A suddenly extremely hostile towards person B even if they would never hurt person B normally. It always depends on the most recent feeling towards someone so a lot of the time Barrett has no way of knowing what he’s amplifying and which emotion will come out. Depending on how much effort he puts into using this ability, this effect can last from 15 minutes - an hour. Its harder for him to use it on anyone who isnt human so he has to put significantly more effort and usually wont last as long as it would on a human which i absolutely did on purpose cause i introduce more nonhuman characters later and its really cool. The way to tell if someone is under that effect (other than the abnormal behavior ofc) is that theyre eyes will turn the same shade of pink as Barrett’s are when he’s not holding everything back. The draw backs to using this though is that the more effort he puts, the harder it is for him to keep himself looking normal. So if he were to use that ability with like full force, he wouldnt be able to hold back the aura, eye color, or any branches growing from him. So basically he has to be real careful. Its really useful for fights/ self defense tho which i have a lot of scenes like that planned out. But yea Barrett and Muriel find this out cause he accidentally does it on Muriel during an arguement. Muriel is looking at Barrett at that moment and was currently feeling immense guilt for everything that happened to him so when Barrett accidently amplified that she just starts sobbing. It doesnt last long cause although Muriel is technically human, she has some powers herself due to “worshipping” this beetle god which is a whole nother story lmao. But yea anyway, Barrett learns how to control all his shit over that whole year staying with Muriel and once they both think he’s gotten a decent amount of control, Barrett goes back to normal society and brings Muriel with him since theyve gotten really close in that period of time. Muriel tells him not to tell anyone in fear that he’ll be hurt but he doesn’t really listen. And like you guys already know he goes to Morgan and then Virginia and tells them all about everything that happened. Virginia takes it a lot better than Morgan obviously. For a short period of time before Morgan starts going crazy, Barrett, Muriel, Virginia, and Morgan all become like a kind of friend group. Once Morgan starts getting paranoid and reclusive, it gradually falls apart. Muriel has been staying with Virginia since coming with Barrett back to society which is why she was there when the hitman Morgan hires is threatening Virginia. You guys know the basics of all of what happens next pretty much. There’s more scenes with Virgina in between this and Morgan’s death but they aren’t really major scenes. She does try a few times to fix everything with Barrett and Morgan but obviously it doesn’t work out. So skipping to after Barrett and Muriel flee, like i said Barrett is never caught cause ya know 1920s crime investigations were shit lmao. The murder does cause uproar for a while cause of how weird it is what with all the flowers and Morgan’s weird behavior before his death. and cause Morgan was almost famous. Barrett becomes pretty untrusting towards humans after this and as the years pass with Muriel he gets to the point of just straight up hating them and hating being referred to as one. I have ideas for events that happen in between the 1920s and modern times for Barrett and Muriel but don’t have anything set in stone yet. Around late 1920s early 1930s they discover that Barrett’s aging has also been affected. At this point they dont know how much but its obvious hes gonna have a longer life span than most humans. Barrett gets really upset thinking about out living Muriel and basically begs her to work some “magic” so she’ll live longer cause she’s pretty much the only person he trusts completely. Muriel says no cause tampering with the natural cycle of things rubbed her the wrong way. They get into an argument where Barrett is mainly just pleading with her and she storms out. While she’s out tho she decides to do it for him and arranges some stuff to pause her aging until she decides to let it keep going again. There’s drawbacks to this kinda magic of course but i still havent decided what exactly. So basically after this point her body stays aged in her early 40s. Years past and its modern times and Barrett and Muriel are now a little over 100 years old. Barrett’s only aged about 15 years since now he looks to be in his early 40s as well. He’s definitely adapted with the current life style a little bit but still really keeps an old timey way of speech and clothing style. He’s changed a bit personality wise due to being alive so long tho. Him and Muriel have become very nihilistic. Barrett still really resents humans especially with how his attraction ability makes them all so trusting of him and predictable which has gotten boring for him. He’s kinda gotten a bit of a superiority complex due to believing he’s above humans in every way but learns to be charming and fake nice around them to not raise suspicion. Then they meet those 2 nonhuman ocs i briefly mentioned earlier! I got a lot of plot stuff for modern times as well as currently working on figuring out more stuff for Muriel and Barrett back in the 1930s and 40s but this has gotten insanely long and probably more than you even wanted to know so ill leave it at that!

[ramblingshit]

The Woman in Black - 1989 - 3/10

looks like the 1980s but with somewhat older-style outfits; exposition mutherfuckerrrrrr;

very slow, fluffy script; oh got the cut is just forward and back as they speak, now we’re close flipping forward and back when its their turn to speak i’m dying. exposition, telling other characters what the audience has already heard; each of these scenes are far too long with so much fluff, Jesus Christ the cuts just throw us into a completely different place with no transition its so abrupt and the jump cuts are infinitely worse fuck half of these are like .5 seconds long, they’re so basic its crazy. some j cuts all of the sudden and some decent direction all of the sudden on this indoors scene wtf lol. then back to awful cuts, apparently just outside and between scenes.

i can’t even focus on the story because there’s so much nonsense filming, writing and acting and jfc.

the 2012 version is only 5 minutes less but this one reaaaaally feels like its length while the 2012 one does not.

the house is just a grey house in a simple marsh, unassuming, boring to look at, the birds chirp, there’s a half-sunken cemetery nearby, the woman in blacks just standing there in broad daylight with a lil hat on her head, her skin like yellow tinted with red around her eyes kinda lookin like the wicked witch of the west, just staring casually at him they giving her a mid-shot and a close-shot and all, got some crooked shaped eyebrows, i think she’s angry? I’d be angry too with that ugly ass velvet donut on my head; she slowly sorta makes her way a few steps toward him, he sprints off and locks the door then turns on all the electrical lights in the house and seems alright; the rooms are tiny and clean cause she only just died (woman in black’s sister) - it’s really not scary - all white and beige with floral designs, boring frames with dark protraits; reminds me of the rooms at the thornton’s house and other old bedrooms i stayed in as a kid; fuck he’s really turning every single light on. he’s drinking again. we’re half an hour in and he’s messing around with some sort of recorder whistling into it and shit - omfg i thought that was leading up to a scare but no. telling the clues of the mystery in these weird cylinder recordings instead of the 2012 letters? he’s drinking again. WHOA hey we got an establishing shot and its a red-bricked house three stories tall with a big ass entrance way and pointed roofs and lots of windows am i missing something wait what happened to the grey house. there’s no scary music, its all light, there’s no suspense its like well here we are, now we’re here, now the marsh is water, there’s fog and horses and he’s nervous and there’s horses and women and children screaming yikesss ol mate looks mildly nervous, they must have hired him for his scared running and dramatic turns, NOW THE HOUSE HAS GREEN VINES ALL OVER IT. i mean he seems passionate about his role he’s tryin his hardest thats for sure. half of its filmed like a stage show - where’d the dog go. continuity needs to like actually be a thing. why do these candles have hats they’re on beautiful candelabras and now there’s more alcohol. for epople who have a butler and a maid on stand-by their tablecloth looks like a crumpled sheet and the lampshades look like they were picked up from the tip and they’re fkn crooked for godssake. we’re 46 minutes in and theres been maybe 25 minutes of actual story. he ran because he was afraid and that sits wrong with him so he wants to go back - now he’s ‘brave but not brave enough’. stubborn muthafucker. his rational friend is like lol you’re a moron, take my dog as companion he’s called spider for some reason. jesus fuck the cuts they get me everytime they’re scarier than anything else i’ve seen. unsurprised i could see the shadow of the camera. oh okay the grey house is the generator room out back that makes more sense. locked doors, ring of many keys but no key will turn. completely wasted mirror angles that were making me actually kinda anxious waiting to see something in them like damn son wasted opportunity. thrilling to watch this guy go through wads of paper not really looking at anything just pushing them around the great lawyer he is conveniently only finding and looking at plot-relevant things. kid crying mummy mummy while the lady just screams horribly - OMG NOW HES telling the recording exactly what we just heard and saw fuck sakee i love this movie its so dumb spoon feeding everyone - naw spider in his beeeeddd 10/10 best actor. nothing scary has actually happened other than weird lady staring constipatedly at him. he out here gon break his shoulder - sprint sprint sprint PACE PACE PACE – THE DOOR IS OPENNNNN ooohhwuuuhohhh and now he has an axe. he’s a fuck load more of a scardey cat than my main man harry potter and its the nursery - A BALLLLLLLL fell from the SKYYYYY and he doesn’t seem too fazed lmao. spiders just chillin on a chair like yep you’re in trouble. creepy old dolls. a kid just said 'hello’ and laughed, like friendly. 'hello?’  and put a toy in his hand. this is actually interesting. whoops the lights have gone out - PROBS CAUSE HE TURNS THEM ALL ON. nothing even scary happened, the kid said hi and clearly wanted to play then he sprinted away and now is panicking trying to find a torch where is he going its not even that dark back at the generator. cause god forbid- - OMG HE:S LITERALLY GO TTHE WHOLE HOUSE LIT UP mate why do you think it all went out omg im crying he’s freaking out about spider running off oh nah nevermind he’s fine lololol he was freakingggg outttt and then just chills immediately and goes back inside. i love this guy he’s trying so hard. the 70s lampshades are swinging from the roof. would be more eerie if it were actually dark and nah gonna just move over that back to him telling the recording exactly what we just saw. every fucking light. every FUCKING LIGHT. he’s lucky he doesn’t have to pay for electricity. this is the third time we’ve heard this crash and the kid and the lady screaming and he’s going angry about it cause its very noisy and he’s lost his mate’s dog whoops. lol whoops his mate found his own dog half drowned in the marsh and is just chill with it. wait this has all happened in a day?? this fuckin guy. ol mates got him rugged up and getting him outta there cause he collapsed in fright from finding the nursery trashed. that’s it. like yeah its spooky but come on man. is this the climax of the movie??? we an 1hr12min in. think they’re only breifly and vaguely mentioning that to see her means a kid will die and has died - how the fuck are you supposed to make her fearsome if you declaw her and take away that which threatens people: the fact she’s out there causing kids to die. floral bed covers. are they seriously not even going to show the dead kid. they’re just chatting. and again wa– holy fuck these people shes like neeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrhhh with a hogwarts cloak on and short curly hair with that yellow face and crooked brows, and he’s got his arms over his face, eyes shut just lying on his bed screaming - fuckin close ass shots i can see up their noses. now he’s taken ill poor mate. also he’s in a different bed?? and now he’s awake and talking some whack shit. has anyone called his wife yet lol. an awesome shot of just him sleeping. and another one. who’s this lady? oh its his wife. what’s she doing here i guess they did call her ahahaha. everything is so bright and blue and white where is the deeeeeath how is any of this scary its just so much chilling out and chatting and lol bye hope you get better have fun talking men. what. the house burned down? what. ol mate seems suss. HE’S SUSS. ol mate definitely burned that shit to the ground. who knows why he didn’t really seem sold on the whole thing but ya know. now they’re wearing like any old clothes they can find. and there’s a soldier too. and they’re training off into the sunset. that woman is not old enough to be this guy’s mother. what. we have cake time. pointless pointless scenes. ooooooooooooooooooooooo he got the ptsd from the horse clackity clack. no woman with hair that perfect sleeps without it in rolls or covered, not back then lol. where’s the deatttttthhh. oooohweeerrroooooo. whats in the box in the box whats in the box todayyy. acting is always 10/10 with this guy, especially the angst and strong emotions. he really doesn’t care for actually investigating these many papers he’s got in these boxes. um. he was in his office. and then the next scene was him entering his office and hanging up his jacket in his office????? wot. THE PAPERS AREN’T IN THE FIREPLACE MATE THEY’RE OUTSIDE OF IT. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OH MY GOD HES MAD HES SETTING THE OFFICE ON FIRE HOLY FUCKKKKKKKKK MATE. dude you are so fired. fireman is like yeah i found this jerry can of parrafin you wouldn’t happen to know anything about that would you. omg omg he’s attacking his boss this is so exciting. i think he’s fired lol. can’t believe he’s not been arrested. what do you tell your wife lmao. how do you get references for another job in this career. her hair is so perfect. she wants to talk, he silences her with a kiss, conversation moves on, he silences her with another kiss - typical. now they’re boating. there’s 3 minutes left. are they gonna drown. omg the jumpcuts. SHES STANDING ON WATER. SHES JESUS. ahahhahahahahAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA DEATH BY TREEEEEEEEEE and i think they did drown omg ahahah my guy, wife kid and baby. that’s fuckin dark. last literally 1 minute of the movie just kill everyone off. what a shit fest i love it.

[janiedean]

REDACTED (Remove the //, this just appeared on my dash and ugh I have no words)

I resent the ask even if probably I wouldn’t have had the need since that person blocked me and guess what I never even talked to them ever nor I had an idea of their existence until now so I guess I’m now on some sansan blocklist? K THEN FINE, but lmao.

like.

the hilarious conclusion of that ‘meta’ saying ‘DON’T REDUCE SANSA TO SANDOR’S LOVE INTEREST BC SHE’S A MAIN AND HE’S NOT’ when the entire damned point is that sandor is her love interest not the contrary is rich, but lmao. RETHINKING THE UNKISS. obviously the fact that sansa makes it up is based on trauma, but the entire damned point is that she thinks he kissed her and then basically she spends all the time going like OH BUT HE KISSED ME, HA BUT HE CERTAINLY DIDN’T KISS THEM and she’s thinking about it like it’s a badge of pride and she starts it when she’s sure she’s going to get married with someone and it keeps on going when people actually kiss her nonconsensually...... and when you dream that your first kiss/boyfriend/relationship is 100% the material of romance like sansa does and circumstances make it sure that you have no agency over who you get to kiss, if you actively make up a thing that never existed in that sense ie you’re sure that someone else kissed you before everyone else could... you won’t choose someone you don’t want to kiss.

you’re going to choose someone you do want to kiss.

like the fact that out of every single person she could choose sansa decides that it’s sandor who took that kiss from her and not anyone else and she’s 100% convinced of it means that she’d rather think that HE took it out of everyone so she can tell herself that her first kiss was with someone she wants not so deep down (and she superimposes it on blackwater because it’s the only timeframe in which he could have presumably done that) than admit to herself that her first kiss was with someone that she despises or that she didn’t want to kiss.

that’s the entire fucking point of that and if these people stopped trying to deny that sansa stark uses sandor clegane’s memory as a coping mechanism maybe we’d get somewhere.

also: by the time we got to asos/affc, sansa is not eleven. sansa is a teenager with teenager fantasies which, guess what, also happen to be sexual which is a thing these people really have a problem admitting (yes teenagers think about sex, yes teenagers have fantasies, yes teenagers have wet dreams both men and women, do get on with the damned program), and every single one she’s had has been about sandor because the moment she’s forced to marry tyrion and the willas possibility goes up in flames and no one on the tyrell side smuggles her out or anything she stops thinking about loras if she hadn’t before, from then on if it’s someone it’s sandor.

spoilers if these people didn’t grasp the concept: sansa stark is into sandor clegane to the point she has legitimate sexual fantasies about him and sansa stark is into sandor clegane to the point that he is her literal coping method to survive the fact that her fantasy of being in a love song is being torn to pieces by each single person around her, sandor clegane is the only man referred to as brave and gentle and strong in sansa’s pov which are, oh, wait, the qualities the man she deserves/who’s worthy of her ned listed way back in book one, sandor clegane is literally the only person who’s looked out for her in KL since ned died before she marries tyrion except that he’s not actually related to the people who orchestrated her brother and mother’s death (no shade to tyrion I actually am 100% fine with sansatyrion and if it was book endgame I wouldn’t be disappointed tho obviously I’m on the other train), sandor clegane left his cloak on her floor after blackwater and she fucking kept it and put it on, sandor clegane put that damned cloak on her in that scene we know of, sandor clegane had a scene with her in the beginning where he tells her about how he ended up with half of his face burned that’s fucking ripe with knighthood imagery because if you think sansa putting a hand on his shoulder when she tells him his brother is no true knight has no significance in this context sorry but you’re wrong, and the fact that it’s a relationship with problematic elements same as 99% of the relationships in these books doesn’t mean that you can actually ignore all the goddamned symbology thrown in your face.

also the fact that nothing happened between them in that sense when she was too young to know what she wanted and he was a complete mess but when they meet again she’s going to be a way more confident and older person who will definitely know what she wants and he will have done the equivalent of going to westeros rehab and a) will have quit drinking b) won’t hate himself as much as he did last we saw him should even out most of those problematic elements, which is also why every goddamned single sansan shipper in existence that I know of doesn’t think that the two of them doing anything more than what already happened during acok was a good idea and why every goddamned sansan shipper in existence would argue for them being a thing when she’s old enough to know what she wants and he’s not getting ptsd flashbacks every other second and he’s not drinking himself blind to forget about it.

like, I know that coherency is asking too much from this fandom but for the love of everything that’s holy to these people I just wish that they would stop twisting text around to deny a thing that’s there. if I spent all of that time negating the very likely chance that canon jon/erys might happen in the books as well I’d drive myself insane, which is why when it inevitably happens I’ll roll my eyes and hope grrm writes it better than the show even if jon/erys is very low on the list of ships I would pay to see canonized for good. there’s no goddamned point grasping at straws like that, thank you and I said everything I had to say on the topic.