#guess who cried more writing this than with the actual episode

[sskk-manifesto]

Ep 5!!!

[pico-farad]

I finished season 1 of Vrains and it was cool but I thought it needed about 2 billion more secret identity shenanigans

extended thoughts below

So I went into a deep dive in my last two posts (1, 2) about all the problems I had with Vrains, and you'd think I didn't enjoy it, but in fact as I was watching, there was a separate, parallel version of Vrains that was playing in my head, a Yugioh I think we were robbed of and which fixes every problem I had with the first season, and that is Secret Identities AU.

Yusaku needs FRIENDS

This is YUGIOH.

This dynamic is everything I wanted from Vrains. Yusaku developing unexpected fondness for these bozos who think he needs a defense squad. I want Miraculous Ladybug levels of secret identity shenanigans. I want Yusaku slapping his duel disk every time Ai tries to blow their cover.

This AU sprung forth from the scene in the duel club where he shows Naoki his decoy deck. Having Yusaku passing as a bad duelist is 1) so funny, but 2) Yusaku needing to maintain his low profile is a useful contrivance for other characters to get more duels, and 3) I think it would be a really fun one-off episode where Yusaku has to duel using his bad deck. When he wins, Naoki is so proud he cries.

Having Yusaku actually have to interact with the other characters in the real world opens up Greek play levels of dramatic irony. The crux of a secret identity story is that every single interaction builds up anticipation, because you the viewer know that the other party is being deceived, and that the tension will snap when the secret is revealed.

I have zero anticipation about Playmaker's identity being revealed, because Aoi would be like "oh.... I guess he goes to my school" and Go would be like "have I seen that guy before?" But SIAU Playmaker? My guy is making friends just so he can betray them. Insane.

Go needs A ROLE IN THE STORY.

I said in my first post that Go isn't a rival or a best friend character. SIAU fixes this by making him both simultaneously.

Having him be the ace of the duel club is a natural replacement for his whole hero of the orphans schtick, while placing him directly the circle of relevance with the other characters. Instead of being disgruntled that the orphans suddenly like Playmaker more than him, he's disgruntled that Naoki and the duel club mooks are fawning over Playmaker -- which is actually just Naoki's character anyway.

I would kill for a big dramatic moment where Go learns that Playmaker and Yusaku are the same person, and even though Go feels betrayed that Yusaku has been deceiving him, he stands by Yusaku anyway because they're friends.

With a secret identity story, every conversation is working on multiple levels because each character is working with asymmetric information. You get these fascinating, layered scenes of two characters talking past each other because they cannot give up their secret.

Which would go especially hard with Go and Yusaku, because Go has legitimate criticisms of Playmaker in canon and Yusaku has legitimate reasoning behind the things he does, and as Go Onizuka and Playmaker they could never come to an understanding on them, but as Go and Yusaku, two friends in duel club, that door becomes open to them.

Aoi needs WRITING THAT ISN'T A TRAINWRECK

I made a whole post on this. Basically every problem would be solved if Akira doesn't know that she's Blue Angel. There's no reason for her to lose grotesquely against Yusaku, or have her basic autonomy called into question constantly. 

Having her actively deceive her brother is delicious. Like I said in my last post, it's so obvious how Akira's overprotectiveness has taken its toll on Aoi, and pushed her into developing this other persona, Blue Angel. I want this absolutely dysfunctional sibling relationship so badly. The Blue Angel vs. Zaizen duel would make me lose my mind.

And a secret identities setting works so well with the potential themes of VRAINS as a stand-in for the internet and Blue Angel as an idol. Give me that Perfect Blue Satoshi Kon good stuff. Give me those themes about identity, and the different lives we live, outward and inward, online and offline.

This also helps Akira's character, because I think he would be much more interesting and relevantly positioned in the story if he stayed a SOL Technologies baddie. SOL Technologies has very little presence in season 1 despite being critical to the story. After Zaizen is replaced by an irrelevant clown, they don't do anything but send out mook AIs to get destroyed. By having a three-way standoff between Yusaku's squad, the Knights of Hanoi, and SOL Technologies, both Hanoi and SOL Technologies become more compelling. They've both got all the reason in the world to want to take down the other. Zaizen vs. Revolver or Spectre? That's good shit.

And don't get me started on how I would turn Revolver into a Secret Identities character.

[tallykale]

episode 19

as you can probably tell, i've thought a lot about what post-canon one would look like in my vision... i've said before that i have issues with straightforward fix-its, and i do genuinely love the tragic open-ended conclusion that the series has, but i... am not immune to playing with characters like dolls LOL

here's some writeups about where everyone is at mentally in these pictures. please please please PLEEEASE feel free to ask me more about this cuz i love talking about my beautiful mind palace

charlotte: somehow the most optimistic person in here, mostly out of necessity. when she died, she saw parker leading her out of a cave as her waiting room and was about to take his hand when airy respawned her, so she has a brief moment of bonding with bryce when he talks about the waiting room and seeing stella. with the knowledge that there is potentially a way to get out (bryce and liam being the proof) and the fear of rotting away again she is by far the most actively motivated to help liam figure out the computer. a lot of her days are spent talking to liam over the mic and writing out the code in the dirt so she can try to understand it. she still has to push against her natural misanthropy (and often shouts at liam or bryce for being fucking stupid and useless) but both working on the code and helping amelia give her something concrete to focus on outside herself. she wants to get home so she can make amends with her friends. charlotte is scared of dying! she's really genuinely horribly scared of dying and has awful vivid nightmares about rotting away. she often pushes amelia into talking about her life which causes some tension, but it's because she really hates seeing amelia lose herself like that - a metaphorical rotting away of the self.

subway seat & atom: not on the same level of pure existential depression as the batch 1 contestants, but they both feel the hopeless mood pretty harshly regardless. subway feels very lonely as the only hidden object still 'awake', and likes to carry whippy creamy around rather than just leave him sitting on the ground constantly. tray is too big and unwieldy for him to do that with, but he 'hangs out' with her anyway, talking to her and whippy creamy in the hopes that it'll get them to want to wake up again. atom doesn't talk much, but he still carries his piece of grass. he's definitely the person who's the least affected by the prospect of being stuck on the plane forever, since he… doesn't really perceive existence in the same way as everyone else? he's an atom. but his time in the competition definitely made him view everyone else as friends, and he feels even more powerless than usual in the face of this incomprehensibly difficult problem.

amelia: falls into total hopelessness when bryce rejoins, basically seeing it as the final sign that they're never going home. still calls everyone their competition names (she actually gets into a big fight with bryce about it lol). she gets really clingy and dependent on bryce when he first comes back but it crashes and burns pretty quickly when, during an argument, bryce tells her how much he wishes he could just go back and never have let liam in and forgot about everything… which really sucks for amelia to hear, given that she's part of that everything. after that, with bryce isolating himself, she's kind of reliant on charlotte to keep her going. she blames liam for airy dying and secretly kind of thinks he killed him but just isn't telling them… she also doesn't really believe there's any way of getting out and is just kind of waiting around to die of, like, old age i guess. after how long she's been here, amelia is convinced that she has nothing to even go back to and frequently forgets details about her life. regularly cries and hates being alone. the shift markings on the side of the water tub have changed from being a way to keep track of time and stay sane to a horrible reminder of how long they've been here and how much longer of an eternity they have before them.

bryce: hates himself and liam and airy and the plane and his entire stupid fucking life. bryce is really, really fucking pissed off at liam for losing the notes and letting texty die and every other mistake he's made, and isn't shy about telling him that. as well as being angry, he's also incredibly miserable, because he was finally starting to turn his life around (he quit drinking after the plane) and now it's all for nothing - and even worse, those 7 months he spent getting better were 7 months he did nothing to help the rest of them, especially amelia. he's horribly guilty about that, and that he didn't tell amelia about the fake votes before he was eliminated… but finds it easier to just let liam take the heat for that one at first. after he fights with amelia about it he becomes a bit of a hermit, hanging out by himself next to the plug, and never responds when liam tries to talk. contemplates suicide regularly but pretty much the only option is drowning himself, and the idea of that still scares him more than staying like this forever. would kill for a beer.

liam: tortured by horrible guilt every day over a million different things. these include getting bryce pulled back into this (plus delayed guilt over getting him for real killed), letting texty die and not saying anything about the charger, not telling amelia that everything was fake, knowing that charlotte is going to die if he doesn't get really smart really fast… he's frequently gripped by fits of rage where he almost smashes the computer and has to hobble around outside with the axe for a while to blow off steam. he has really bad nightmares and dissociative episodes, made worse by the isolation and spending hours in a dark cave. liam really wants to fix things with everyone but genuinely has no idea how to start that conversation. he assumes airy killed himself (and views it as an unforgiveably cowardly move) and directs a lot of resentment towards him. he has a lot of things he wants to say, especially to bryce, but the fact that he cant talk to anybody one on one makes things difficult. spends a lot of time just reading through the code, too afraid to actually make any changes in case everyone explodes, but talking it through with charlotte at least makes him feel like he's doing something. more than he would like to admit, liam catches himself staring at the plane as if it's a simulation or a livestream.

[doodler16]

To HB credit, Brandon did the bulk of the writing for s1 and established that these characters are friends or at least chummy with each other. Than s2 happened and it’s been the stolas cry baby show ft fizz.

In HH none of the characters moments are earned. They all just sit (I swear to god there’s more time of them sitting and doing nothing than there is of them actually doing something) react to shit happening around them or wait for the story to happen. I don’t get friendship strangers who are forced to live with a coddled sheltered rich woman and her codependent gf. Angel and Cherri are established as “friends” but all Cherri did was call Angel a nerd for not taking drugs and caring too much for nifty. Didn’t do shit when valentino was hitting Angel. Husk is just there to guilt trip Angel for taking drug and being promiscuous, sir p gets shitted on by all these assholes I legit got mad when they cried and acted like they cared. (Fuck all of you, you didn’t treat sir p with respect) nifty is also just there to be funny, I guess. She didn’t make me laugh she got annoying real quick. Alastor is the worst fucking character, I don’t wanna get into a rant about him but he sucks so fuckimg hard. Angel is ok, would’ve been nicer if we saw him actually progress and if his “friends” cared he was getting SA’d on a daily basis but they don’t care, if they did we would get more poison mv. Vaggie exist to serve Charlie, which sucks because she had so much potential but she’s a nothing burger and Charlie is just a selfish brat who cries till people give her what she wants and tells her she’s great when she isn’t

Yeah, during season 1 Brandon carried in more ways than one especially guiding Vivziepop. Vivziepop admittedly has her moments in season 1 where she can read the room. Honestly, in retrospect for Helluva Boss season 1 and 2 regarding the IMP gang I see them being more chummy/tolerating each other than being friends.

They had their moments I will admit but most of the questionable stuff they do each other feels more out weighed than the good. Luciferanalyzestar and Tooningin say it best:

If Stolas and by extension Stoliz drama wasn’t hogging all the screen time, IMP could’ve been something more. As for Hazbin Hotel they can pretend all they want how close and how they care for each other but their actions and dialogue say otherwise. In the pilot and addict while Cherri was a bad influence in a different way, she had a heart of gold, and cared for Angel. Now in the show, she is shallow.

I guess Cherri Bomb is a nerd by her logic for caring about Angel Dust and trying to take care of him in Addict. Yeah, Angel Dust’s arc is super rushed and don’t get me started on the timeline of it, it’s extremely janky the more you think about it. The aftermath scene of Valentino and Angel Dust in episode 6 was crazy. Cherri and Husk didn’t even help, they just stood there then once Angel Dust walks away from Valentino, now these chumps want to do something and do the bare minimum by congratulating him.

If Angel Dust’s arc is rushed, then Sir Pentious is a background character. Not only was his character development nonexistent but no one attempted to helped him or even try to wonder where he was. They just forgot about him. The most tonal whiplash, Vivziepop love her cake and want to eat it too. Haha, Anons never change it’s so funny when y’all drag Charlie.

With Vaggie there is so much you can do with her character and story wise, it’s not even funny. She’s not even my favorite yet I can think of so much. If Vivziepop and writers are going to go with the direction like purposefully have be Charlie’s bootlicker only for her to realize she’s been following orders her own life then slowly does things outside of Charlie. Then Yeah, I would love that. I really hope isn’t completely static.

Series Alastor will always be a loser bum, but the fans will eat it up. I wouldn’t mind listening to some Alastor slander. 😗

[rapha-reads]

IWTV rewatch

Season 1 episode 7 [The Thing Lay Still] - part 2/3

- AAAAAAH IT'S THE DANCE SCENE EXCUSE ME I'M NOT READY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

[Louis] "So much would be written about that grim night in New Orleans, but not a single mention of our last hour at Latrobe's, as if the only crime unfit to print took place on that dance floor." - and what do we say to homophobia, both "period-typical" and current? FUCK OFF.

It's the way they cannot… Aaah, need to say it in French, sorry. Use your translation tool. Ils ne peuvent pas se quitter des yeux un seul moment, même pas quand leurs pas de danse les forcent à se tourner le dos, Louis fermant les yeux jusqu'à ce qu'il soit de nouveau face à Lestat, ou qu'ils doivent se tenir l'un à côté de l'autre, leurs regards irrémédiablement attirés l'un par l'autre, comme deux aimants, magnétiques et plus fort que tout.

[Louis] "It was my sole duty to distract Lestat, but in his mirrored eyes, the distraction reflected back onto me. And in the dead center of the whispering gallery, I lost the thread to my plotting and fell once more into the well with no bottom. I was his, and he was mine."

I haven't said a word about Jacob's voice acting yet. But the way Louis' voice is so soft and slow. As if Louis is lost in his memories and back there, feeling all the love and the frenzy of that night, but also the pain and grief of the long decades since.

- Oof, I'm barely midway through the episode. I'm pausing it so much to not miss a single line that my player is starting to complain.

- "'Claudia, born 1903, I drank the water in 1917. I'm 36 years old.' 'Louis de Pointe du Lac. Born in 1878.i drank of the water in 1910. I am 61 years old now.' 'Lestat de Lioncourt, born 1760. I drank the waters in 1794. 180 years old… this coming November.'"

Ooooh, canon divergence! Not Louis and Claudia, them, we know, but Lestat. Born 1760 but turned in 1780 at 20 years old in the book. Interesting! I wonder why that change. There's another element given in s2, when Armand's writing his little Lesmand fanfic, but otherwise I guess s3 will give us an answer to why that tiny time change.

Meanwhile Tom fucking Anderson continues to be a nuisance.

- FINALLY. BYE TOM.

Love the music. Love the blood. Love the violence. Love the magnificent entrance of the three, in white and red. Vampires are freaking cool and the werewolf crowd can bite my a… Ahem, sorry, werewolf buddies. I got carried away.

- Aaaand goddamn Antoinette about to make her entrance. Aaaargh. But also I am very bi and she is very hot so I can't entirely hate her.

- [Lestat]"'Quite drunk this one. Rosemary… And something else. What is it, my love?' [Louis] 'I… I think it's gin.' [Lestat] 'I wasn't talking to you.'"

Bitch how dare you call someone else your love right in front of Louis, I'm offended.

Oh, wait, actually I can perfectly hate Antoinette, GET YOUR HANDS OFF CLAUDIA.

- [Claudia] "'Lestat… You must think me an idiot. 'She was at the ball tonight.' Not just the ball. You shoulda let that train go, Uncle Les.' [Lestat] 'How? Who?' [Claudia] 'He who called you him… Always the petty lights with you, Uncle Les.'"

Ah, I knew I hated Tom Anderson for more than his slimy, racist, homophobic ways. Nice planning, Claudia!

- Ooh, oh, no, baby, not the cane sword, no no no no. I hate (not) when the foreshadowing comes full circle.

- [Lestat] "Louis! We are joined by a cord, by a cord that you cannot see, but it is real. It is real. I have loved you… with all myself. I'm happy it was you… here with me… à la fin."

*cries*

No but can you imagine Lestat's anguish, the pure suffering and desperation he must have felt? Yes, yes, I know he's done plenty of wrongs, he's hurt Louis and Claudia a lot, he made mistakes after mistakes, he was prone to anger and abuse and violence.

But à la fin he's still a little boy who was neglected by his mother, abused by his father, hated by his first love, kidnapped and raped by his maker, hurt and threatened by the first vampires he's met, and was so lonely, afraid and hurt he didn't know how to love honestly even though he was deeply in love.

"Are we the sum of our worst moments", can we not feel pity and sadness for the monster in the woods? Can we not show kindness to the monster even after he's slapped our hand away, isn't kindness what could make the monster accept the hand?

I wrote a thesis about kindness being the true core of the story of Beauty and the Beast last year, about how it's true kindness and not love that Beast relearns how to be human and builds the self-esteem and self-respect needed to truly fall in love with Belle and have her fall in love with him in turn (there's more to my thesis, it's a 100 pages long, but that's the main point I wanted to make), and I can't help but draw parallels with Lestat.

Beauty and the Beast is French and it was first written in 1740, then rewritten and condensed (from 125 pages to barely 30) in 1756. Lestat definitely must have heard the tale, by the 1770s, 1780s, it was quite popular both in noble salons as in lowlier classes.

Do you think he ever fancied himself the Beast, and saw Louis as his Beauty? Do you think he ever thought he was cursed - despite claiming he never saw his condition as a vampire as a curse - and saw Louis as his salvation? Do you think he felt the fairy tale shatter irreparably around him when he realised that this time he could not keep Louis with him? Do you think in 1945 at the trial he saw himself as the Beast freed from his curse finally, heard and avenged, only to then realise that the curse was still there and stronger than ever because he had deeply misunderstood it? Do you think he spent 77 years living off rats in a dilapidated shack in the city that held his heart because his story went from Beauty and the Beast to the Ice Queen, or Koschei the Deathless, heartless and waiting for the one person that could unfroze or unbury his heart?

Ooooh, Lestat versus folktales. I think I can write a whole other thesis with just that idea. Or maybe a series of fics. Too many thoughts.

- [Louis] "The blood poured out of him as it might never pour from a human being… all the blood he had filled himself with. He lay now on his back, his eyes staring wildly at the ceiling, the irises dancing from side to side."

[Louis] "His irises rolled to the top of his head, the white went dim. This horror that had been Lestat… I stared helplessly at it. The thing lay still. There was no point in lingering."

No comment, just… Can you hear in Louis' voice the anguish, still, after so many decades…

- Huh. Bye Antoinette for real I guess, fire doesn't forgive. So no Antoinette at the Court.

- [Louis] "It was as if we'd expected Lestat to disappear in a puff of smoke or get sucked back into hell." - no but see, that's what I'm saying, the fairy tale ended and now you're left facing the very real consequences of the plot you thought you were living. Lestat ain't no fairy tale monster, just a regular (albeit vampiric) one, flesh and blood at the end. This ain't Buffy. Vampires are flesh here, animated flesh and when you kill them by any other means than fire or the sun, you are still left with the painfully visible reminder of the man that was the monster.

[I really like this part because I hadn't thought of the whole Lestat/folktale before and now I'm having a million of ideas knocking around my head.]

ep1 | ep2 | ep3 | ep4 | ep5 | ep6 | part 1 | part 3

[lemonycranberries]

that ending...

spoiler warning: al rawabi school for girls season 2 ending

tw: suicide, self harm, blood

maybe i shouldn't have watched this whole season today... i'm genuinely feeling kind of unwell. maybe there could've been some kind of trigger warning at least for the last episode.

i do understand the whole shock value thing, but seeing her slit wrist full of blood on the floor made me genuinely sick to my stomach. i'm crying more than i cried any other point of the season (and boy, was that a lot) but not really just in a "watching a show" kind of way, i'm just actually feeling really, really bad.

i understand the message is really important, but watching this was just... very heavy.

Farah was one of the characters I identified with the most this season, one of the characters I felt for the most, and especially one of the characters which I most wanted to have a happy ending.

again, I do understand she's representing a lot of real people. because with a lot of real people, endless bullying and exclusion does lead to suicide. and it's interesting to see how pretty much all of the characters in the main and even side cast played a part in this. constantly bullying her, constantly ignoring her... not even a single person thought of stopping and listening to her. she was insignificant to a lot of them, and when some people (very few, because most still didn't care) were starting to think of going to her, it was too late. but most people didn't even do that. most people laughed at her, excluded her, and made her feel invisible until the very last second. she died thinking nobody actually cared enough about her. and upon finding out about it, the same people who were a few minutes ago laughing at her and mocking her just stood there in shock, starting to cry and having no other possible reaction. because they know this was partially their fault. hell, maybe even largely their fault.

it's just... nobody thinks ignoring and mocking the cheerful, helpful, desperate fat girl (by the way, I thought it was quite strange how the characters in the show actually considered her "fat", but that's for another time) will actually lead to something. they are simply indifferent to her presence and even more indifferent to her suffering. the brilliance is that we're used to that treatment by tv shows themselves as well; sometimes it feels like not even the writers care about this type of character. they're just tossed to the side. they're a sidekick, a best friend, a cousin, a comic relief... until they're not. because in this case, her feelings were considered by the writers in the show, if not by the other characters. and the writers decided to show something that does happen to people who suffer with these issues in real life, even though a lot of television refuses to show it: actual deep consequences, and, in this and many other cases, suicide. the death of a bright, talented, determined, creative, kind young girl who didn't even have anyone consider her, not a single person to offer her help.

i might write more thoughts later, because again, right now i'm just genuinely kind of unwell. well, i guess i can say the ending of this season followed the tradition from s1; very shocking and impactful (though very much a real problem). even though i feel awful right now, i admire this show for how it doesn't shy away from difficult, extremely real topics.

[ravenkinnie]

what do u think ab act 2? fav moments and least fav?

I just finished and let me say first. warwicks faceeeee I took an edible and by the time the show got to warwick I was losing my mind. my fav moments were training montage with ambessa and caitlyn, every time caitlyn was on the screen she is so beautiful idc idc, caitlyn and vi beating each other up and vi spitting in her face and i think then there was a cute lil moment that i did like, and jinx with silcos jacket. my least favs are the fucking hugs with warwick, the two goofy moomin ass montages with vi and jinx and their family and the kid, and the way jinx and warwick calling jinx his daughter I'm sorry I can't I'm cackling just remembering

*let me say it here i was always the believer that caitlyn fucks, that she gets pussy and I win. I wish maddie wasn't such a downgrade from her previous concubines but it is what it is.

*I feel like they are trying to use both mel and caitlyn to humanise ambessa but we have so little screentime with both of them that it's just not working

*I think they struggle with tone sometimes because the warsaw ghetto ass look of zaun is so serious but then some of the humour is so goofy but not in an elevating the mood way but in detached way, it's just mcu ass clunky writing. we achieved peace in zaun with one act of nonviolence and sevikas speech be actual and factual. idk I guess you could say it's because of the threat from piltover but I'm not buying this

*I wish they had more space to flesh out ambessa and caitlyn but the pieces that are there are so juicy. they just don't have enough screen time together and we have to fill in the gaps a lot. one thing I know for sure is they should be scissoring like crazy rn. seeing less ambessa and caitlyn feels detrimental to both of their characters but also that training montageee I hope ambessa gets her pregnant

*jinxs writing is so messy idk idk. her saying silco shouldn't have died kind of cracked me like GIRL WHO DID THAT that was literally you. I didn't mind the dejected and aimless route but also thus show chooses to focus on the weirdest things like idk what the fuck the goal is here

*I think they are still trying to do this cycle of violence thing but the way we only have caitlyn as a fascist dictator who's actually in zaun going through shit is just not working, like the violence has a clear source here

*god the kid is such a waste of screentime, I hope jayce did end her shit acc. everything being done with jinx could have been better if it was without the kid like they are establishing what's already been established but worse. I just understand the idea but not the choices for execution so far. they very clearly used the kid just to have a quick latch between s1 jinx amd s2 jinx by connecting the two and giving her a vague reason to care about zaun because the fucking kid does but it's so lazyyy

*piltover continues to have the worst security on the planet like I just don't believe a prison should be this easy to break into. fucking arkham asylum has tighter security and people escape that shit weekly

*if stillwater has that lil over the water tram why the fuck was caitlyn on a dingy in s1

*Warwick vs jinx fight got me a lil I can't lie yeah it was beyond corny but vander being the thing that brings them back together and jinxs willingness to blow herself up are both so juicy. I am someone who cries at EVERY greys anatomy episode tho so don't trust my judgement

*I yearn for caitlyns dungeons for sure idk about yalll but I felt that line. I'm gonna get cancelled for this joke but caitlyns fuhrer look has got to be some rightwing propaganda for lesbians she looks so fucking good. the way she's obsessing over jinx I'm losing my mind, my caitjinx fics have been getting kudos lately and I was like oh bitch this ship is rising. however caitlyn is lowkey not seeing heaven like I think at the nuremberg trials she would be hanged

*cocktail molotov is better than heavy is the crown I said it and I'll say it again

*the way black women's accomplishments are never acknowledged because mel should be prime bisexual headcanon real estate for fandom like shes got a hunk, a sickly victorian twink, a furry transfem conspirator, and a close female companion like what is not to enjoy here

*the whole subplot with singed is like. in separation I could enjoy it but when it was introduced I was just look not another fucking plot that doesn't connect to anything yet

*however after a line of complaints JINX WITH SILCOS JACKET FUCK OFFFFFF THAT GOT MEEE

*that flashback was pointless and should have been cut but not fucking jinxs mother saying all this shit about what a decision naming a kid is and then naming her powder. this is proof it was a conscious act of sabotage

*end of episode 5 with the hug broke my goofometer I'm sorry if you cried I can't treat this show seriously right now I was like this better be purgatory or jinx is off her fucking rocker just completely gone up there and she's hallucinating this. I think I'm in minority about this but i don't really care my love for bad media has depths you wouldn't understand

*and also again I cry at every greys anatomy episode like I'm not a snob trust I was giggling

*it was to be said jayce is hot now in that jaimie lannister covered in horse piss and in chains way. unexpected development

*the way they are patching vi and jinx up and setting up what is obviously jinxs redemption arc is kind of really bad and goofy but it's not like I don't like redemption arcs I just need to ruminate on why I think it's just not working. I think it's killing me that caitlyns storyline is actual fascism and then vi and jinx are reconnecting while trying to cure their werewolf dad with the help of steampunk jesus. it's very adventure time this way and I was right that caitlyn IS princess bubblegum in the sense that they are both fascists sjsjjsjsk

*every time we switch gears I'm just like oh my god another fucking storyline I forgot was also here, like everything will always go back to the fact that they have way too many storylines

*domestic abuse caitvi eats. I'm sorry they are everything, I think this season is fanservice for a very specific type of a lesbian and I'm exactly that type

*warwick calling jinx his daughter was too much like actually delete the file. this power of friendship ass writing I can't, I'm fucking cackling

*if I was caitlyn I would actually become more fascist now like if I saw jinxs life get better after she killed my fucking mum and I ruined mime so I'm down a parent, her fucking dad comes back to life and she reunites with her sister and becomes a teen mom???? this is bullshit jayce pls do blow up this fucking place!!!!

*I truly cannot tell you what the thesis of this show is anymore things just kind of happen

*we cannot make killing vander the only inciting event in runeterras history like history cannot be repeating 1:1 this much, it's gotta be dressed in slightly different decorations

*overall I think we gotta say those last 3 episodes cannot be good

[wasyago]

episode 110 spoilers

just like, random thoughts and stuff, mostly bits that i remembered

i sat down to write this i forgot everything oh my god--

in chip's flashback. the black rose pirates following the king to the big sakura tree, and arlin holding baby chip's hand. this. the cutest shit ever, i think i almost cried at the image of this big badass group of pirates and this itty bitty child led gently by his hand. even if i didn't cry before i sure will right now, baby chip you're so dear to me...

QUEEN! they didn't remember anything aughhhhh 😭😭😭😭 and their and chip's little talk about how they're going to put the pieces together :( and their hug :(

whatever drey, finn and earl are doing on the ship... like, what? hello? glad they're having fun tho lol. also wait hold on a second. how did drey answer the call? i mean, probably with his leg or something, if i had to guess. or maybe finn held it up for him. not sure if finn is at it enough to be able to answer the shell by himself, so earl and drey are the only ones who can actually use it. and seing how earl is in a... predicament. hm.

jay saying that when she looks at gillion she sees family. AUGHHHHHHHHHH AUGH AUGH OUGH jay ferin i love you. and this is so important to me not only because like hell yes they're more than friends they're a family, but also for jay of all people, considering her relationship with her blood tied family and how complicated her relationship with this word is.

also girl please do something about your leg, im begging you. the bone is visible, this shit is not going to heal up by itself. i dont know how you're still limping around this must hurt so bad. i guess adrenalin maybe, but still. at least get some bandages or something, i don't know... what is it with jay and her legs actually. she fell off a roof in edison kingdom and landed on a piece of metal that fucked up her leg, and now this.

oh my god niklaus, how could i forget about my babygirl. i mean, what can i say i love this guy. i dont know how many times ive relistened to his intro song, but definitely more than i should've... um. there was a lot of big important lore that i don't have the brain capacity to process rn.... i want to say that niki is the nameless prince and/or the thing trapped in the hole in the sea. because he can only interact with one person at a time by inviting them to his pocket dimension (even with jay it was said that the time around her stopped while she was talking with niklaus), implying that niki is trapped somewhere and this is the only constricted way he can interact with the world. and to answer chip's questions he said he wants freedom more than anything, again implying that right now he doesn't have this freedom. which makes sense, right? but then, the big bad thing was supposedly trapped thousands of years ago (i think?), but niklaus was a world famous pirate lord not so long ago and not trapped anywhere, so.....? idk im probably missing something. can't for the life of me find the moment where they read the nameless prince book so like, whatever.

that moment where jay talked to chip about how she thinks its all her fault and she should've just gave up her arm and leg. and how chip reassures her....... them 🥺🤲 kind of inspired by that post abt chip and jay i reblogged earlier, but these two talking about their emotions and feelings is so dear to me. just, being human with each other and opening up. gill is great ofc, but i feel like for these two its much easier to talk to each other to feel understood and heard. i love them.....

chip is still very much dead and probably won't be resurrected any time soon, so... hooray new undead chip design! but also oh my god my poor boy... forever 19... (also charlie and condi being surprised that chip is only 19. yeah </3) my poor guy my poor baby, he sounds so beaten and depressed in the beginning of the episode, its just breaking my heart qwq...

star and zamia <333 hehe

chip trying to marry igneous. lol. darling chill out, you just got out of one unsuccessful marriage and it didn't teach you anything, you're dead, you're only 19, you've known this guy for like, 2 days? don't get me wrong, godspeed to chip, but cmon man take him out to dinner first or something

and uhhh. the end, that's all i got

[nemoys]

a very long messy review of link click (season 2)

alright so reading through a bunch of (mostly negative) reviews of the season thus far i've come to my own conclusions over how this season felt, and i really feel like addressing them since i personally feel like it deserves recognition (and rightful criticism) within certain aspects. really interested in everyone's takes so lmk whatever you think about all these aspects i'm about to gloss over.

NOTE ; i'm not going to be talking about the art direction or OSTs . i believe those have been nothing short of phenomenal and i feel like we can all universally agree over that

1) tonal shift : from a more emotionally driven s1, coupled with sprinkles of slice of life moments, we turn to a mostly thriller/mystery plot line. personally, i've always seen this coming. the tonal shift really didn't take me by surprise. with the lg stabbing at the end of season 1 it almost seemed inevitable that the more light hearted aspects of the first season weren't going to happen. more importantly, it was very clear that there was always a higher presence to fight. link click was always meant to be a thriller, this was always the plan, and so i suppose logically i assumed the second season would follow that path. i understand how people might've felt disappointed, or 'robbed', but i don't think the shift was all that shocking quite honestly, it was always set up. link click was never light hearted, even at s1.

the more shocking shift has to be the shift from an emotional, to suspenseful change in writing. the emotional writing in link click has always been the best part of the show and that hasn't changed, the emotionally driven plot lines of s2 (chen bin, ltc/ltx) have been written very well. the suspenseful writing also works. replaces the tear jerkers with an unsettling anxiety, and it's executed relatively well. you can clearly tell that the crew's been experimenting quite a lot with this season, and yes, that's usually what season 2 is for.

2) pacing : now i totally get the criticism in this aspect. in my opinion, the weakest part of s2's been the pacing. with overly drawn out fight scenes, and unnecessarily long recaps, i think the issue has to do with the fact that lc just has a LOT to address, and so it makes us feel less inclined to sit through longer scenes that don't directly advance the plot.

obviously i get that the fight scenes show off a lot of the animation budget #tm and they do look great but the fact that we had way too much time dedicated to a five minute long fighting cutscene in the FIRST episode just made me feel impatient.

3) red herring endings: alright this might be an unorthodox opinion but, aren't red herring cliff hangers a norm in general with these kinds of shows lol. idk i've come to expect the total opposite every time so it doesn't really bother me i guess i'm just used to the medium. not really a lc problem it's a story telling problem in general but that's just marketing i don't know what else to say.

it'd be nice if they followed through but some part of me thinks they're pulling a whole boy who cried wolf situation, eventually they'll pull the trigger when we don't really expect it.

4) shipping/ main trio reconciliations : it's a really serious ongoing situation. i kind of get why the main trio/shiguang don't get a chance to talk things over amongst themselves, it just isn't the time. keep in mind everything that's happening rn is happening continuously, there are no gaps within the days or anything, kind of makes sense that they don't really talk about it. they probably will get to once it's all over, which might be well into s3. again, this was always meant to be a thriller more than it was trio focused. also idk about you guys but i think we actually did get a lot of sweet moments within the trio, cxs and lg, even the sibling dynamic with ql and cxs were really lovely this season.

5) the women: okay i REALLY don't understand the problem here. the women are written well. ql is written FANTASTICALLY and all side characters like ltx and that one red eyed lady i'm forgetting the name of were great too. hell even chen bin's wife was great. i think for a donghua/anime where women are usually given dirt in terms of actually strong writing, lc has always been very solid. their lives do not revolve around the men in the show it just happens to be that men are a part of their lives. they have very distinct personalities and aren't treated like weird objects to gaze at (what a bar lol) but yes i do think the women are written quite dimensionally.

6) unanswered questions : when have linear shows ever answered questions (especially mc based) in season 2?? when has season 2 EVER tied loose ends? when it comes to linear television, season 2's purpose almost always build towards a greater evil/climax. there's a reason why season 2 hasn't answered questions we've had, season 2s in most shows rarely ever do. from what i can tell, with a confirmed s3, i've always expected s2 to simply do its job as a second season and further raise stakes and raise even more questions. i do get the frustration, i get the lack of any backstory, but i want to refrain from making any actual comments over that till every episode's aired ahah, however, im not too mad at it. i just think this show's ride is currently still at an increasing accelerated pace (guys i'm sorry i study physics), things will only be explained once we've once hit the climactic point or go downhill right after. time will tell i guess

Conclusion

overall, i think this season was actually pretty solid. s1 set a very unrealistically high bar, as s1 in my opinion is one of the best seasons in television period. but s2 and s1 shouldn't be compared in the same way, their tone is quite different, and needs to be analysed individually instead. i'll make a complete review once the season is over, but honestly i've come to enjoy the season most when i stop expecting too much out of it. i think people had way too many things they've expected from s2, that were bound to simply never happen.

that said, i do hope the crew takes the valid criticism regarding the pacing (and ig the character focus?) into consideration and implements it well into s3. it's worth noting that i believe nothing was meant to be complete with s2 in the first place.

i've really enjoyed this season, and i'm beyond ecstatic to rewatch it all once it's done airing, in order to properly take it all in. it's had its flaws, more than s1 has had (let's be real s1 had little to none). but that's bound to happen to shows when they head down their linear routes. currently sitting at a 7/10

[krirebr]

So, I've been going back and forth about sharing this here but it's really been dominating my thoughts for the last two days, and while I've talked about it a lot with friends, I'm hoping that writing everything down will help me process things. And maybe other people, especially aspec people might be able to relate.

I mentioned on Wednesday that I'd had a really terrible evening that had really shaken and upset me. Below the cut, I want to share what happened.

TWs for references to depression, aphobia, exclusionism, and bad therapy (there's probably a better word for it but I'm not sure what it would be.)

So some of you know that I started this year with a pretty intense depressive episode. It was bad enough that I had to take a leave of absence from work and pretty much spent that whole time crying in bed. It's taken a lot of work over the last few months to get myself back to a more stable place. A big part of that work has been regularly going to therapy.

I went to therapy on and off as a kid and in college, but not at all since then. All of my previous therapeutic experience was long before I came out as aroace. There's a long, ongoing history of aspec identities being medicalized and pathologized and that's something I was very aware of while looking for a therapist this time around. But I was also really desperate for help. So I chose as wisely as I could and crossed my fingers.

I chose a queer therapist who specialized in LGBTQ issues. I told them I was aroace in my first session and while they didn't seem very familiar at all, they also didn't make me overly explain myself or want to focus on that rather than the very real and urgent issues I had come to them for, which is what I'd been most worried about.

As I continued to meet with them weekly, they would sometimes ask questions about it, and while it was pretty clear they didn't really get it, they were respectful about it and it wasn't interfering with the help I actually needed.

That brings me to my appointment this Wednesday. I didn't have anything really pressing to discuss so they asked about my plans for the week and I mentioned that I was getting my hair cut and I was excited because I've been feeling lately like my hair is really hetero (I use that word instead of straight because my hair is so, so curly 😂) and I was looking forward to having queer hair again. They stopped. "Wait," they said, "I'm confused. Why did you use that word to describe yourself?" It had never occurred to them that aspec identities would be considered part of the queer community. They, in fact, had an incredibly narrow definition of the word queer - gay, just gay. And they didn't consider asexuality or aromanticism to be orientations at all.

My memories of the following conversation are pretty jumbled, but some highlights included such chestnuts as "What if you meet the right person one day?", asserting that the A in LGBTQIA+ stands for ally, there has to be a sexual component to romantic relationships, and "everyone has to have attraction, humans are sexual beings." They also said that we should dig into my childhood going forward because they were sure there was something there that caused this. I had a pretty traumatic middle school experience (bullying and some psychosomatic stuff that stemmed from that) and they were pretty eager to blame all that for this.

I became increasingly defensive and combative as this conversation went on (which if you know me, isn't like me at all). It ended with us both feeling very bad and uncomfortable.

I think they kind of came around a little bit by the end. They seemed open to educating themselves and even sent me a link to an article they'd found after our session. And that's great, I guess? But the whole thing made me want to crawl out of my skin. I cried a lot when I got home.

I'm not exactly sure what to do from here. My initial plan was to go next week, talk through what happened, offer some context for why I had gotten so defensive, and discuss together whether this was going to be a good long-term fit. But that's feeling less and less likely the more I think about it (I haven't been able to stop thinking about it). This is just such a big part of who I am. And it's a part of myself that I like and am proud of! And I just can't imagine a situation where I would ever feel safe talking about this aspect of my life with them. And I don't really want therapy where I'm constantly having to censor myself. So do I even go to my next appointment? I really don't know.

I know there's a lot of hopelessness in the aspec community around getting mental health care and I really don't want to add to that. I don't want to believe that we can't get help for our actual issues without mental health professionals just wanting to fix things that don't actually need to be fixed. And I hope that's not the moral or ultimate outcome of this story. I've talked to my very lovely network of queer friends and several of them have already said that they'll reach out to their contacts to find some recommendations for me. I deserve to get the help that I need in a space that is actually safe. And my need isn't as urgent as I was. I can take my time now to find someone I'm fully comfortable with.

I'm not sure exactly why I shared this. I don't always get so personal on here. And some of you have already heard it (thank you for being such good friends, seriously). But it's just been festering inside of me for the past two days and I really needed to share it. Thank you for listening.

[berrypass-de-murdler]

2 - 12 The Murder of the Butler

When google docs decides to count softgico as a word but not deductive

Anyway thought Marble was the 70th designed character, but actually she's the 71st and Bronze got that honor

But still 70 CHARACTERS WITH OFFICIAL CARTOONVERSE ARTWORKS!!

Maid Marble is a piebald (or marbled!) badger. She's not AS resentful as her canon counterpart and generally acts like a sweet old lady. Her dark secret is that she has an unfathomable taste for humans! Wanna guess what's in that pie?

DON'T READ THE EPISODES WITHOUT READING THE BOOKS!!

A great song came on, and everyone is dancing their asses off at Bronze’s hero party. Except Logico, of course, he doesn’t dance. He picks up Lord Violet’s biography, still covered in a bit of blood - the murder weapon from his dramatic rescue. If he wants lore, this is where to get it. As he reads the first paragraph, he tries to envision deep within his mind every detail, attempting to use Irratino’s ‘past-vision’ technique to uncover the mystery more… 

A blazing fire erupts in a forest. Giant deer-like creatures run for their lives, faces out of view. Logico can feel their tension, leaping over debris, barely avoiding flames, hooves slamming against the ground. One of the creatures is just a child, and can barely keep up…

The baby one falls, injured. Despite the encroaching blaze, an adult stops and turns back for it, trying to lift it up to its feet. Another tree falls, and it has no choice but to sling it over its back and run. 

As the fire settles, only the baby emerges from the forest, very weak. It collapses outside a settlement. But a shadow stands over it, and reaches out a hand…

The book takes a sudden shift to many years later. Logico wonders why so much was cut out? But he learns some key information. Lord Violet once supported the Reds - an alliance in the Drakonian Civil War. 

The animal, now with the iconic mask, stands stock still in a barren room that is so tightly cramped it couldn’t even be a bathroom. There is a lot of blood on the ground, and a slumped body on the pathetic excuse for a bed. Lady Violet, who hasn’t even grown wings yet, is crouched in a corner, and by the entrance, a twisting, dripping humanoid lurches.  Who could the killer have been? 

After all, as Irratino always says, assassins tend to carry swords, rather than heavy purses or leather gloves.

Lord Violet leaps and pins down the attacker, thrusting the sword out of their hands with his horns. With the thing in his nonexistent mouth, he slashes at them, but the figure ducks, and the sword breaks in half. The assassin creeps out on all fours and runs, perhaps never to be seen again.

Violet rests his head on the body. There’s no hope left, Beryl is long gone. The littlest Lady Violet clutches onto her father’s leg and cries. They bury their friend on a nearby island, and mourn, knowing nothing could ever replace him.

The book ends rather abruptly, explaining Lord Violet’s turn to violence and longing for revenge against the killer. Logico shuts the book and rubs his eye. This has caught him very off guard, and now that he’s done, all the other guests have left. Heavy-hearted and deeply uncomfortable, he heads back to his room, and prays it won’t take too long to fall asleep.

The end!

First episode with 0 dialogue I think?? Hope it's not too boring

I am excited to write Minimurdle regardless of how obviously not canon it is. I mean

We already got baby Eminence and Red confirmed!!! (hhhh forgot I can't show baby red yet)

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[o-uncle-newt]

Cabin Pressure Advent Day 23: Wokingham

WOKINGHAMMMMMMMM!

I absolutely love everything about this episode. Literally everything. It's just basically perfect.

It's also, like Vaduz, an episode that would never, ever, EVER have happened in S1. I mean, S1 had a dude literally die on the plane and "it "what to do" was turned into a comedy routine... this is a much more, Idunno, humanist approach, I guess. It's hilarious, but it takes its humor from things other than the actual medical situation itself.

But even beyond that- would S1 Douglas have played along when Carolyn said that he cried when confronted by the bird strike in St Petersburg? Would he have even put a pause on the game? Would he have even shown up? Almost definitely not. The only constant, of course, is Arthur, who would have been equally willing to show up to keep Martin's mother busy in any season you can name. Lovely, lovely Arthur, and what an absolutely perfect scene by the way.

Now, there's the meta way of looking at it where people are like "I appreciated it when JF was writing a darker and more cynical show," which a) I disagree with factually (I think there were always hints of what the show would become from the beginning- I mean, as far back as Abu Dhabi, Douglas helped Martin out with the match) and b) I disagree with as a matter of taste (the heartwarming episodes are GREAT). But I have to hope that the meta people at least concede that the development FROM S1 to S4 in terms of the very different ways that people behave is extremely consistent with the character development. Douglas and Carolyn have both made some strides in the way that they relate to Martin that allow them to go run interference for him, but at the same time Martin has grown to become the kind of person who they mind less running interference for. He's mellowed, he's started to be less hung up on his rank for the most part, he's less obsessed with his self image. S1 Douglas would have never done it- but S1 Martin would have given him little reason to, and we've seen that change pretty organically.

It also helps, obviously, that Douglas and Carolyn know exactly what they're dealing with. Some of it, maybe, is seeing how Martin (and, to be honest, Caitlin!) ended up that way, with Simon to cut him down to size- and, as we've heard, his dad as well back when he was alive. (Incidentally, I meant to mention this in Uskerty but I found the fact that Martin has worn his dad's signet ring since the funeral to be both really sweet and just... gah. Emotional.) I feel like we've also all, at some point, met people who are, if not Simons themselves, have Simonistic qualities, so to speak. Carolyn and Douglas, as people who love to put on performances like this and have a bit of a proprietary feeling about Martin (in an "only we get to tease him" kind of way), presumably did it at least partly for the fun of it!

That said, this episode would not have been what it could have been without Wendy. Prunella Scales is amazing, and it's worth noting that (as JF mentioned in a podcast interview I heard once) she was in the early stages of dementia and, according to JF, was not always with it offstage but was just absolutely astonishing as soon as they started performing. She plays every note so perfectly, and adds a really interesting note of, well, momness (or I guess I should say mumness) that is really easy to identify with and also a VERY striking contrast to Carolyn, both for better and, occasionally, for worse- Carolyn would have never said anything remotely like "maybe Simon knows best" lol.

All in all, just really really good fun, hilarious, well plotted, all the usual... oh, and with another amazing audio humor joke with the doctor asking about the costume party. Just perfect.

Important question though: how on earth in this whole brag-off with Simon did Martin never slip that he's dating the freaking Princess of Liechtenstein?! How?!?! I'm not going to call it a plot hole because that's not how these things work, but I can imagine that he had to REALLY hold himself back from blurting it out.

[veggie-miilk]

I was gonna draw out tiny little sketches of these but fuck it idgaf

Here's some 𔓘⭒๋࣭ ⭑Lottie lore/headcanons 𔓘⭒๋࣭ ⭑because she's my favorite character to think about right now.

Lottie has this uncanny fight or flight response to where 2 things will happen. 1: If you make her scared or frightened by accident or on purpose she will gain the strength of a 800lb gorilla and beat you're ass to atoms. Or 2: She will book it like Usain bolt, straight up Tom and Jerry yo ass. Nobody, and not even herself knows why - or how she does this.

Lottie is canonicaly friends with the Devil, yes... Satan, Lucifer himself. She frequently summons him to "dispose off'" her more embarrassing fanfics. They have BFF bracelets :)

Lottie enrolled to school after the school shootings happend.

Lottie whole big story arc is her overcoming her shyness and getting together with Darnell, she's just taking baby steps right now though.

Lottie really likes to bake, from cookies, to cakes, you name it and she's really good at it. One time, she made these Chocolate bon bons for Pico n' gang and they loved them so much, that after they were doing eating the whole fucking bag, they asked for more. Lottie, however, declined their offer because its was her great, great, grandmother recipe and her mom only just passed it down to her. (So just think of that one fosters home episode with Ms. Foster's cookies, and Pico, Nene, and Darnell as Frankie)

Her favorite drink is milk and honey tea (that one drink from ponyo, goated movie btw)

Pico is currently training Lottie to become stronger.

Lottie has the fanfic writer curse so like, ever other month or so, she'll get into these batshit insane adventures, (aka getting jumped by über kids for no damn reason)

Lottie doesn't like to cuss or lie.

Lottie was raised in the "nicer parts of Philly" (aka the suburbs)

She stutters alot.

When she's nervous, she'll usually fidget with her knuckles or comb her fingers though her hair, or worse, pull on it (but that's only when she's in distress)

Out of everyone, Lottie is the most normal girl in there school, she basically sticks out like a sore thumb.

Lottie doesn't like hurting/killing other people, she just does it out of self defense, she'll feel bad immediately afterwards and mourn them, no matter how dangerous they were.

Lottie likes My Little Pony. (We stan a proud pegasister) her favorite is fluttershy :3

Lottie writes some of the most, gut wrenching, toe curing, uterus clenching smut you will ever see.

Despite that, Lottie isn't all that dirty minded. In fact, she'll get embarrassed if she even thinks about it.

She loved collecting Cute stuffed animals, and useless knick-knacks. She also likes wearing cute clothes.

She likes to illustrate, her artstlye is based off of Strawberry shortcake/ Shojou Manga/ MLP.

Lottie completely lacks social intelligence, making her seem awkward and clumsy to others.

Lottie learned how to bandage up other people since becoming friends with Pico (and also nene I guess but she doesn't really know if their friends or not and she's to scared to ask)

She tired weed once and she got so fucked up that she cried for hours until she passed out (blame pico)

She's a couple inches taller than Pico.

She's a bit clueless but she's very academically smart.

Shoutout to the two, maybe three people who's actually gonna see this and care about my oc's :]

[bizlybebo]

For your final thoughts on PD once you finish, I present to thee:

This ramble ask

How ya feeling?

HOOOOOOOOOOOLY SHITTTTTTTTTTTT ENDYYYYY

ENDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY IT. I WAS NOTTTT EXPECTING ANYYYY OF THISSSS AAAAAAAAAAJRGBTJKWEFREGTKWEFREGTKRFGNYT

YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE ASKING FOR BY SENDING IN THIS ASK. KJREHKJERHD

this is probably gonna be even longer than my ramble after completing the greyscale series so once again i dont expect you to read all of this but OHHH YM GODDD i need to dump my thoughts somewhere cause HOLY SHITTT

after writing this out i really only managed to touch on the last 2-3 episodes but yk. there are my thoughts on the ending so it makes sense. i dont think we wanna see how big my ramble on the entire fucking series could get

spoilers ahead for anyone else who sees this: literally all of prime defenders s1 and s2

ashe came home.

ashe fucking CAME HOME.

now, i had a feeling since about episode 35 that ashe was certainly coming home, because there was so much buildup, yakko did an ashe cosplay, etc. like it would have been stupid for her not to return at that point. plus i kept seeing people drawing a post-trickster ashe and was like huh.

so essentially, i thought that because i Knew, i wouldn't get blindsided by these final episodes. in fact, knowing almost made it more... bearable? i guess, because i could hold onto the light at the end of the tunnel that ashe was 100% coming home. it almost made me feel the same hope that the group was feeling about ashe, because i had that certainty and faith in the good ending.

and then william wisp fucking died. again.

i was really sleepy when i was listening to that scene but still persisting because my anxiety was slowly increasing as the episode went on, but when the trickster just. plunged his hands through william's chest i was FULLY awake just sitting in absolute shock. i'm not the kind of person to cry huge tears over media (i think the only time i non-happy cried watching riptide was ep 53), but when william died For Real i actually gave a good few sobs. i was no longer sleepy i was just in shock and then in grief.

and i was like. oh shit. maybe there is no good ending.

something like that ENTIRELY blindsided me in such a crazy way that it had me doubting ashe would even come home.

and i kept thinking, hey, no, he's risen before, he'll be okay! but then he went to the fucking spirit realm. he got dispensed there with kumori and began the first day of forever and i was like oh. shit.

william was gone.

and the REACTIONS from dakota and vyncent were both so guttural and real and true to their characters in their own ways. like so good it's nearly painful to think about.

dakota's loud. he's loud and he's rambunctious because he's dakota. he never speaks below a shout.

but when william was torn in half, he wasn't shouting, he was wailing. the absolute shock and denial he was in haunts me dude.

dakota's was begging william not to do this to him. he could forgive william for so much-- for lying to him, for not asking for his help, for fucking killing jade, but he could never forgive william for dying.

dakota's not the kind of kid to ask, y'know? if something doesn't go the way it should to him then he'll fight abrasively and outwardly for what he believes is right, or in the harder cases he'll bite the bullet and take the fall.

but here, he was pleading with william to just. not die.

and i think the final thing that shattered my faith that hey, maybe william wasn't gone was that tide was so accepting of it. he fell to his knees, he grieved and he was torn apart for a second, but then he was back up, holding dakota, going as far as to use a whole turn in initiative to only hug his boy despite the deadly circumstances. despite the world falling apart around them. to loosely quote my other mutual cayden (<333), "at the end of everything hold onto something and dakota had to hold onto tide because it was the end of everything for him" and i think that's just. the only way i can really phrase it. top 10 moments that rewired my brain chemistry

and dont get me started on dakota LITERALLY JUMPING THROUGH HELL FOR EVERYBODY. JUMPING THROUGH HELL, LOOKING THE TRICKSTER IN THE EYES AS HE DID SO. LIKE I'VE SAID THIS BEFORE BUT SOARING THROUGH THE BURNING SKIES OF THE CHAOS REALM? THE REALM THAT CORRUPTS AND WARPS EVEN THE STRONGEST DEMONS? AND STILL COMING OUT ON THE OTHER SIDE BECAUSE YOU'RE DAKOTA MOTHERFUCKING COLE AND YOU SIMPLY REFUSE TO SUCCUMB?? FUCKING INSANEEE.

and. fucking. fuck.

vyncent. MOTHERFUCKING. sol.

when i fucking catch condifiction.

vyncent sol is such an interesting fucking character. most of the time i'm like "there is something deeply wrong with him <3" in an endearing sense because yknow. he's a little strange. he's not from around here.

but oh my god.

vyncent sol, THE character development guy ever.

he starts off season 1 violent, unable to control his powers. he's violent, and he's scared, and he's homesick, and he's like a skittish dog who bites when it gets nervous because he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing here.

but he changes. he grows.

he gets his closure with fauna, yeah, but then he finds a new home. he finds himself in a flying car, chasing after the fucking lich, watching william and dakota fighting in the front seat like a married couple, and he just thinks yeah. this is home.

and he doesn't quite unlearn his violence or his vengeance but they do certainly shift gears (also tidbit-- the 'fatal flaw' of justice is vengeance which is part of why i chose him for that human soul in the undertale shit i was telling you about :D).

his character is about balance. he has to learn not to be reckless and violent like in season 1, while also not apathetic and taking inaction like he did in s2 episodes 31 and 32.

at the end of everything, he protects william with his life, ready to interpose any attack. he thinks that he can do right by somebody this time, act now so that there aren't any consequences later (y'know, like he never did with jade, or ashe, or the lich).

but william. still. dies.

the sheer anger that vyncent felt in that moment was overshadowed so strongly by his grief, but it was still there. i can't even put it into words without going on a whole nother tangent but oh my fucking god. dude. vyncent sol has irreparably rewired my brain he is all i'm gonna think about.

prime defenders honestly is just THE character development show in general. i haven't even touched on william's development, on how he put faith in his friends over mal even if he knew it was going to make things much harder because he trusted dakota and vyncent so much. on how he literally got killed, repeatedly, over and over, in the spirit realm for 12 hours straight. on how he dirtied his hands during the greyscale arc out of fear.

on how he finally. stopped. running. stopped trying to escape who he was. but still won't come out of the closet

and god this is a looooong fucking ramble and i haven't even said much yet, this is only me screaming about the last two episodes really, but so much has happened in them that i just AUUUUGUGHGGHGHJKTEHRKJ

and. holy fucking shit.

JADE??? MAY STILL BE ALIVE??? D OYOU UNDERSTAND HOW FUCKING FERAL IM GOING OVER THIS JADE CANTRIP VENGEANCE ARC. I NEEEEEED XAVIERRRR TO SEE HER AGAINNNN JADE AND XAVIER'S FRIENDSHIP MEANS SO FUCKING MUCHHH TO MEEEEE

AND ATLAS? BRO POOR FUCKING ATLAS. he really could not catch a fucking break for the ENTIRE series. when bizly started describing the 'odd fizzling' i was like 'man this guy is just going THROUGH it with his career i feel kinda bad for him' and then.

he was dead.

i think grizzly said it best, how bizly has to 'keep reminding us that prime defenders is r-rated' cause yk. the sudden violence/gore. it was so impactful you were so right when you were talking about tonal whiplash because holy SHIT.

like we were just in mario kart hell chasing after le frog who stole pizza he couldnt even eat cause he was vegetarian. and then atlas' throat was slit and he was marked with an x. (x as in xavier's vigilante persona????????RTEHRTTT$YRJHTTETR)

im just AUGUGHGHGH so FUCKING UNWELLLL OVER THIS ENTIRE SERIES. I'M SO STOKED FOR WONDERLUST BUT ALSO THAT MEANS PRIME DEFENDERS PROBABLY WON'T RETURN UNTIL THE END OF THE YEAR OR EVEN LATER.

i need a prime defenders christmas episode. dearly.

the bright side of this is that now i can write a shit ton of fic + inhale every single fic under the prime defenders tag on ao3.

but GODDD this is the most gutwrenching piece of media ever. i've never had such a strong hyperfixation since 2020 because the world is just so good. every single character and npc means the world to me. even summer and doug are constant subjects of my brainrot. even fucking lightspeed and harlem and aughughugnjtr.

thank you for the ask endy lmao im FUCKING CLAWING AT THE WALLS OVER THIS SHOW. AIUKGHEJHW

JADE CANTRIP REVENGE ARC PLSPSLPLSPLSPLSPLSPLS. I NEED HER TO COME BACK AND I NEED HER TO COME BACK WRONG AND I NEED XAVIER TO BE TERRIFIED OF HIS BEST FRIEND EVEN THOUGH IT'LL EMOTIONALLY DESTROY ME AKTJHETRKJTRWKERE

okay that's. all i can say for now

[norellenilia]

Damn, I remember the first time I watched FMA 03, when I was 16 or 17, I stayed up until 1 am to finish it, and today, watching episodes 38 through 42 turned me into such an emotional mess that I have to take a break lmao what happened??? My own emotional traumas, that's what happened

I'm feeling so many things again

In episode 38, when Ed and Al are fighting, Al drenches Ed in water and he says "it's going to rain!!!" and I'm like haha no don't try to pull a Mustang on me I know this episode won't make me cry and GUESS WHAT the flashback with Trisha convincing Ed to go and find Al so they can talk things out and Al looking so happy that Ed isn't upset with him anymore it's so cute I CRIED

I need -- no, I DEMAND a spin-off series where Winry and Scziezka solve murder mysteries together (I'd love to write it myself but I know I'm not nearly good enough at coming up with mystery stories lol), they're adorable I'm so happy they totally get together post CoS

Martel's death hits SO MUCH HARDER than I remembered holy shit, she and Al actually got close, we see more of her, her death is so horrific and hearing sweet sweet baby boy Alphonse cry just BROKE MY HEART I never wanted to hug an armor so badly

Scar's brother's last moments, the way he looks so terrified and desperate to protect his little brother from Kimblee and Scar being so devastated when he dies I just-- *clenches fist*

Sloth using Ed's PTSD against him that's so UNFAIR; also I was thinking that I was a bit disappointed that this anime did not include the nightmare that Ed has at some point in the manga where he sees his mom saying "why didn't you make me right" etc but this is it, this is this scene, and it's worse because he's hearing it for real, he is very much awake, he has the real voice of his mom in his ears and she's saying this to him and I'm-- *clenches fist harder*

Rose's story, I'm still so mad, she deserves all the happiness in the world

Speaking of Rose, it's so funny how the moment Al is like "I wonder how Rose is doing" the show just full on goes "Ed/Rose shipper" mode lmao, with Ed blushing while pretending not to remember her, him being so awkward when he speaks to her just before they go on their separate ways and her son just smiling and giggling when he speaks (first time we see the baby laugh, he had only been crying up until then) :') To be honest it feels a bit out of the blue to me but idk

Dante sporting Lyra's white ass in the town of brown people and speaking as if she was part of them just because she's following Rose around to manipulate her is incredibly cringe, but then again, it's Dante, she's the villain and we're already supposed to know something is up with "Lyra". But still.

Very random but Al pulling objects from or putting objects inside his armor from behind the cloth always looks very awkward lol

I used to never really care about Scar but I have learned the errors of my way as I now realize he is actually one of the best characters in this goddamn series, even with the orb of knowledge and the three arm losses, and Mangahood!Scar being much more villainized and ending up working with the military will never come even CLOSE to 03!Scar using his last bit of strength to save Alphonse to honor his love for his lost brother and take his ultimate revenge on those who murdered his people in the goal of protecting oppressed people, all of this while an epic music is playing (honestly it even feels like Ed is made to be seen as an obstacle as he tries to prevent the soldiers from entering Liore lol)

Sorry but Wrath is annoying as hell, I know that I'll probably have a different opinion if I rewatch CoS after that, but for now I hate him

We're finally entering the "Rewrite" era of the show and I had forgotten how much it rocks (Ed's hair animation at the beginning fhjkfhkdhjk)

I only have 9 episodes left but between Lust and Sloth in the upcoming episodes I'm not even sure I'll be able to watch it all in one go lol. Still excited to see more of Winry and Scziezka and remembering how much Hohenheim is absolutely useless in this x)

[eisforeidolon]

Q: When you have to get into character, like a crying scene, like when Dean's crying on the rock because spoiler alert Mary dies -

Jared: Wow!

Jensen: Wait, when I'm what? When Dean's crying on the rock? [fan repeats] Oh, yeahyeahyeahyeah. [pause] Right.

Q: How do you get into - both of you - how do you get into that character - or, not character, like zone, I guess? Into that crying role? And then when it's over, are you like, [fake tough voice] 'I'm ready to go fight somebody', are you in the feels all day after?

Jensen: Yeah, that's how I am in real life. I'll watch a - a commercial and I'll be like [exaggerated distressed inhale, gets up and walks off], 'I wanna go fight somebody!' No, I just go to the bathroom for some tissue.

Jared: I just think of the saddest moment of my life. No, I think he and I are similar. One of my least favorite things I can see on a script is stage direction saying they break down, or they cry. Or something. And so many scenes in Supernatural - I can't necessarily name one right now - but so many scenes that didn't say Dean cries or Sam cries or Dean breaks down or Sam breaks down? We did, you know? And so many scenes also, vice versa, say Sam sheds a tear, Dean breaks down - it just didn't, it didn't feel right? So we just kind of - I think we just let the scenes happen? I feel like as the seasons progressed, when we get to like 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and so on and so forth? [points to baby crying in audience] You feel me! I feel like it was just one of those things where we'd do a scene and we'd rehearse it and be like, 'Oh, wow! That felt more powerful than I anticipated looking at the page.' [Jensen nods] So then you get to set and one of the characters kinda breaks down a little bit - okay, go with it! And vice versa. It'd be a really sadly written scene where they're talking about loss or fear or something, but it didn't feel like the characters would approach it with sadness as much as frustration? So it's - I think by - pretty quickly we had a pretty good idea of who Sam and Dean were, and then as the show progressed, the writers kind of wrote Sam and Dean to Jared and Jensen, and so they trusted us with like, 'Hey if this is a scene where y'all make a joke, we're not gonna write Dean says kiddingly yadda yadda or Sam says, you know, emotionally yadda yadda. They just kinda wrote our dialogue. And, like, y'all do y'all's thing! So I feel like that's more how I approach it.

Jensen: There's also a large capacity of confidence within the character that we have as actors. [Jared: Right.] And I mean I - to brag on him a bit [hits Jared's knee] - I remember watching him, cause in the first season, a little episode called Heart. Sam loses - what was her name? [Audience: Madison!] Madison! Yeah, and has a really, y'know, emotional scene. And Jared really got into a headspace that day, and I remember watching him on set and he was - I mean, just in a corner, just like sittin on the floor, just kinda rocking. And these lighting setups can take half hour, forty five minutes sometimes. And he was staying in this emotional - you can't do that for ten hours a day. [Jared shakes his head no.] And I remember asking him, I was like, 'Dude, what are you thinkin about?' And he was like, 'I'm thinking about my dog Sadie dying.' And that's, that's - and I mean, my God, like how emotionally taxing that must have been for him to do that for several hours, just to stay in an emotional state so that when they yelled action, he could shed tears. And -

Jared: That was the last time I did that.

Jensen: That was the last time he did it. And I watched him as not just as a scene partner and a friend, but I got to watch him as an audience member and see Jared figure out a way to tell Sam's story through actual emotion that he had for the character. And so when we got to season 15 and we had that barn scene, those weren't two actors thinking about something else that made them emotional so that they could put on an emotional face for their character. These were two actors who were so deeply invested and confident in their character that all we had to think about was Dean dying and Sam losing his brother. And the tears, and the emotion, just kind of swept us up. So yeah, it evolved over the course of the show. And getting out of it when they yelled cut? Sometimes - you know, you're essentially tricking your body into thinking that something horrible is happening? And your body is reacting by -

Jared: Your body doesn't know.

Jensen: Your body is - I remember, there were several times but I remember the one time when I was recounting Dean's experience in hell to Sam and they yelled cut and I had to walk away, because my body was shaking, because my body was thinking that I was going through something very traumatic. And it's interesting because those leave little scars on your heart. Those leave little impressions on your soul, because your body reacted to what they thought were real. And even though we knew in our brain it wasn't - we went through that process, physically. And so yeah, I had to go and walk that off because I couldn't stop - the tears just kept coming and my body was shaking and I was like [exaggerated blinking, shaking out his hands]. And so, you know.

Q: So you weren't ready to go fight anybody after?

Jared: He would've.

Jensen: Yeah, you know, I went and boxed a tree.

Jared: And we're not, like, woo-woo guys. We're southern. We're both Texans, born and bred [audience cheers] - yeah, thank you. The idea that someone's like, 'Oh, well if you do a crying scene you're gonna go home and you're gonna feel exhausted cause your body was just crying.' I'm like [loud scoffing noise]. Surrrre. Like I'm acting, I memorized the lines. But it's legit. Having done it now for 23 years, done 450 episodes of television? Yeah, you do a scene where everybody's having a good time and riding horses or laughing or joking or you're - nutcracker whatever? You gotta go home and you're laughing. You feel like you should invite friends. You do a scene where someone's, where your brother is dying? I slept for days after we shot that barn sequence. I just had no energy, I had no dopamine in my body. And I was like, this is really weird, I slept eight hours last night, I never sleep eight hours, why can I not get out of bed to go to the bathroom or whatever?

Jensen: It's strange that an emotional scene is more physically taxing on you than a day of fight scenes. It's strange but it just is, it's coming from within and it just exhausts you.

Jared: Yeah, yeah.

Jensen: It's also one of those things - just like a day of fight scenes - where at the end of it? Man, you really feel like you hung your hat on that day. Like I put in the work today. [Jared nods along and mouths yeah and same] Like I felt that, and that's always a good feeling when you know you - when you feel like you really delivered.