#guess there’s an association in my brain that I was unaware of

[britishdisasters]

Oh god.

[little-red-fool]

I like how Jackal has realistic layers to his sexuality. I have to say though it caught me off guard when you described Ocelot as feminine. Is that Jackal's view or yours? They have similar appearances with the long hair and scarves, so what exactly is it he deems "feminine" if not physical presentation? Ocelot doesn't look or act like a woman at all, so I'm just wondering where that comes from. He's not hypermasculine like V but he's still masculine. Is Jackal is the type of guy to equate hygiene to femininity?

Thank you! (This post is a lot longer than I intended it to be and if anything doesn’t make sense I’m sorry my brain’s felt like soup for the last couple of weeks lol). The “Ocelot is feminine” is a view that Jackal holds, and yeah it is partly due to the fact that Ocelot is quite hygienic and well-groomed as he associates both of those things with someone who doesn’t do physical labour, which he then considers a feminine trait as a lot of the men he grew up around did a lot of physical labour and were often active so they’d generally be somewhat unkempt and dirty, whereas the women he grew up with generally did more domestic work such as cooking, cleaning, and raising children so they’d often be a lot cleaner and better kept, and later growing up in a military environment that was very male-dominated as a teenager in the 60s kind of solidified his views. Jackal did grow up in a poorer area so it was common for people to grow their crops and keep a couple of livestock, and women would do this work as well, but it generally wasn’t to the same extent, especially when it came to the heavier labour.

I guess this also falls under the same point but from what Jackal can see Ocelot doesn’t seem to bear any injuries such as scars on his face and chest (as this is the only skin he can see at the moment) and he doesn’t have any missing limbs, or a noticeable limp or any other things that might count as injuries from fighting, so again he assumes that Ocelot has little to no experience on the battlefield or doing more physical things, and since in his home country it was mandatory for men to serve in the army for a period of time, he again associates combat with masculinity, and that the more proof someone has of their fighting (such as what I mentioned above) the more masculine he sees them as, and therefore more worthy of respect if they’re a man, which is why he will readily listen to Venom but is reluctant to listen Ocelot. He is aware that Ocelot is really good with guns and that’s something he respects but as he hasn’t seen him in battle he has no proof of whether he’s actually competent in a fight or whether his shooting is just for show.

It’s also worth mentioning that Jackal didn’t really come to these conclusions about masculinity and femininity by himself but rather something he got from his former superiors in the military (which he served in from about 17 to 27 years old) as again they were adamant that gay men couldn’t serve in the military, and being feminine was typically seen as a trait associated with queerness (bear in mind this was in the 60s) and as he hadn’t really had any exposure or education on the matter he blindly accepted what he was told (it was looked down upon to question your superiors and as they were a lot older than him and he was fairly young he thought they’d have way more experience than him and knew what they were talking about).

In terms of them both having similar appearances such as with their longer hair and scarves I did take some inspiration from Ocelot when designing Jackal, and it does play into Jackal being a bit if a hypocrite (especially as he’s clean-shaven, wears eye makeup and has more form-fitting clothing that shows more skin, in these terms regarding appearance he’d probably be more feminine than Ocelot). As I said in the post about his sexuality, Jackal is a queer man even if he’s currently unaware of it, and due to his discomfort with queerness in the military and how desperately he wants to remain a soldier he constantly tries to avoid being perceived as “feminine” to avoid getting discharged again (the first time was due to manslaughter), and this isn’t helped by his fragile masculinity, and as such he’ll try to deflect this sort of attention from him by pointing out femininity in other soldiers. It’s essentially that sort of stereotypical mentality of bullies where they pick on people for things they’re insecure about in themselves to make them feel better. So Ocelot’s appearance does play into why Jackal perceives him as feminine even if it’s close to how he presents, but Jackal thinks that his fighting prowess, aggression, scars and other “masculine traits” cancel out any femininity he might have, whereas he doesn’t see these “masculine” traits in Ocelot so there’s nothing to counteract his “feminine” traits.

Whilst I did say that Ocelot being feminine is a view that Jackal holds, I also interpret Ocelot as being somewhat feminine however it’s not for the same reasons as Jackal. There’s a post on here I saw a while ago that explains it better than I could, so I’ll link it here, but I understand how you might not interpret Ocelot as very feminine at all because he really does just come off as Some Guy. I viewed him the same way a while back but changed my mind after observing him more closely and after seeing how other people talked about his presentation and personality, and how he compared to other characters (also I hope this doesn’t come off as criticising, anon, that’s not my goal I just changed my mind later lol I understand that you probably view him differently to how I do) but I hope this answers your question!

[covid-safer-hotties]

Tess Finch-Lees: It hasn’t gone away you know, Paris Olympics proved ignoring Covid is not a winner - Published Aug 20, 2024

‘Olympic dreams shattered”, “Covid causing havoc”, “Everyone’s dropping like flies”: just some of the headlines from the Paris “post-Covid Olympics”. But when it comes to fighting Covid, there’s nothing.

At the outset, the World Health Organisation (WHO) warned of a SARS-Cov-2 surge globally, with a 20pc positivity rate in Europe (not seasonal, not normal) and at least 40 outbreaks in the Olympic village.

Many athletes were unable to compete due to post-acute Covid illnesses. Volunteers wrote to organisers saying “Covid pandemic threat denial” won’t protect against infection, demanding the implementation of scientifically proven mitigations. Organisers replied they were monitoring the situation and since there’s no testing, there’s no data and technically, no Covid. However, sanitiser is available.

The WHO also warned in recent weeks that the SARS2 pandemic is far from over and such high levels of uncontrolled transmission could lead to more severe variants emerging. A travel warning was issued for countries where transmission doubled in a week. Ireland was among them. Unsurprising, given our SARS2 wastewater levels last month were the highest since 2021. I guess Covid didn’t get Luke O’Neill’s “the pandemic’s over” memo.

It’s our Government’s job to communicate WHO health information to the public. No announcement ensued. Radio silence also from our Government-appointed interim chief medical officer, Professor Mary Horgan.

Public health officials and the media have a duty to expose the huge body of buried evidence of harms associated with repeated, forced SARS2 infections. The Irish Nurses and Midwives Organisation reported 9,755 patients waiting for beds last month – the worst month for overcrowding since records began in 2006.

Yet, responding to Limerick Hospital’s suspension of services due to emergency department overcrowding, Health Minister Stephen Donnelly claimed the number of people waiting on trolleys overall was falling.

Last month, I documented the rising SARS2 surge resulting in hospital outbreaks, harming patients and staff with a predicted knock-on effect on all services. Had Mr Donnelly reinstated universal masking then, this deterioration might have been mitigated. A study in the Journal of Hospital Infection last month found that preventative measures in healthcare, including staff N95/FFP2/3 masking and patient admission screening saved lives and money through reduced in-patient days and staff sickness.

SARS2 deaths data has not been published since May. My repeated requests for this data have thus far yielded nothing. But, we know that deaths increase globally after every wave, as do those suffering with long-Covid.

A review of long-Covid published in Nature Medicine last week, estimated that up to the end of last year, 400 million people of all ages, regardless of health status, have long-Covid, leading to an annual global economic toll of $1trn, or 1pc of the global GDP. Author Dr Ziyad Al-Aly warns that long-Covid affects nearly every organ system, including cardiovascular, endocrine, immune, reproductive, gastrointestinal and nervous system, describing it as, “the defining health crisis of our time”.

The review authors concluded that, effective policies should focus on prevention, support for patients, access to quality care, a co-ordinated global response, professional education and public health communication.

Five years into this pandemic, the evidence of harm is now irrefutable. Yet most people are unaware, for example, of the Lancet study published in June indicating brain abnormalities in survivors of Covid two years later and that “people recovering continue to experience cognitive, psychiatric, neurological symptoms and brain functional alterations”. Numerous studies have found that even “mild” SARS2 infections can cause or accelerate neurological degeneration. This has wide-ranging implications.

In May, pathologist Dr Margot Bolster reported that Covid-induced brain fog was likely a significant factor in a multi-car crash in Cork killing two in 2022. The driver, who veered onto the wrong side of the road, tested positive for Covid in the morgue. “There were all sorts of brain symptoms with it… it affected all organs of the body,” Dr Bolster said.

Last week, the WHO issued yet another warning: “Your health is precious. Protect yourself and loved ones from Covid: stay at home if sick. Test, get boosted, ventilate, mask around others.”

Again, this information was not shared. Instead, our governments are pathologising those of us using proven tools to protect ourselves and our loved ones. As though being scientifically literate is an act of disobedience, punishable by state-sponsored stigma and ostracisation.

The Paris Olympics proved that pretending the pandemic is over only serves to prolong it, that everyone, including elite athletes, are vulnerable and that we can’t hand-wash our way out of an airborne pandemic.

We urgently need clean indoor air and sterilising vaccines. Until then, FFP3 masks are the most effective tool we’ve got to protect our precious health.

[rin-and-jade]

Hi hello :)

TW of alluding to abuse (not graphic) (and this kind of derailed into a slight vent. So so sorry for that /gen)

So I’ve only just started even talking about what happened when I was a child. And I know I shouldn’t rush it but I am SO tired of not knowing.

I don’t know if it’s CPTSD, BPD p-DID or anything and I don’t care. I just want to get diagnosed because I’m so tired. I’m so tired of never knowing where I am allowed to be. I don’t know if I should be in DID spaces when I’m not diagnosed.

I know a diagnosis isn’t everything but I’m. Really tired of having to hide when I don’t feel like one person. But I’m not diagnosed- I’m not supposed to be in any of these spaces (even going here is really scary- even though you all seem so nice).

Idk. I guess what I am asking is how to ask my therapist what is wrong with me- like for them to name what is wrong in my brain. I’m tired of psycho-analyzing myself.

Sorry if this ask is all over the place. I don’t really know what to say.

Having a therapist is a great privilege for understanding details you're unaware of! See it as a mirror that helps you be aware of what's reflected.

Even so, one can only get so far by itself,, you're realization is something that's learnt through time--and it's possible to become frustrated because there's nothing to help you reflect deeper with.

Let's start asking things from your therapist with three simple starters:

Are there any assignments/tools to help me identify patterns regarding commonly diagnosed disorders? (or specify it yourself, like mentioning ptsd, bpd, and did)

Can i hear your insights on what you've noticed from me and how does it correlate to a certain criteria that's associated with a particular disorder?

Is it possible to do some assessment and see what answers we can uncover to further understand myself?

You can pick one or do all of them, at your own pace and your own wordings (ya don't need to copy my sentence if its too long or formal, as long it gets the point across)

--

Also, some people would feel out of place in a community, but remember its not about fitting in, but its also about discovering, discussing, sharing and learning,, you're allowed to be in any community as long you understand basic etiquette.. atleast in my own standards.

Lastly, i can agree that this, or any other places, can be scary because its your first time which means you don't know what to expect. I'll still treat you as well as i can when you do come back for more questions or update me on your journey! You've done well by reaching out.

Alright then, why not give these suggestions a try to your therapist in the next session? Wishing you well in the future.

- c

[xibaxiba]

About Sydney and the temple (spoilers I guess): personally I like to be generous and think that Sydney, who we know is always wearing a holy pendant, is especially susceptible to outside influences like Auriga, potentially because of their dead parent's association with the temple. Additionally, worth pointing out that drugs are absolutely involved during both the Rite of Defilement & Rite of Promise, probably something similar to what gets used on Robin in the junkyard event, which is the sole Robin noncon event IIRC. Whatever incense the temple burns in the prayer room is a hallucinogenic that "opens the mind," and the "purification" process is explained to be how the temple forces Auriga's influence out of people... so I think by having corrupted sexy times in the special room people go to so they can get all Nine Inch Nails and get closer to (the) god(s), you're basically giving Sydney up on a platter to Auriga. The PC seems to be very similar to Sydney in that sense, given the TFs & Awareness mechanic. I also would like to note that Sydney's purity & Jordan's innocence have heavy overlap with the PC's Innocence state, where your Awareness is so far in the negatives that everything just flies right over your head, no trauma or weird shit here! 🙈🙉🙊 Harper may very well have slow roasted Sydney's brain into something easily influenced, too, after whatever happened to make Sydney possibly end up in the asylum, where Syd likely befriended the Ivory Wraith. We know Harper loves brainwashing- sorry, hypnotizing and drugging people, after all. The role of the asylum seems to be "fixing" people who break down from the constant nasty shit in town into a complacent and unaware state, so they can be further broken down and corrupted. (IMO the whole thing with Sydney possibly previously ending up in the asylum has got to do with why Sirris put the kibosh on Sydney & Kylar seeing each other. Pretty sure that's kind of implied to be the ritual gone wrong. Did Sydney witness what happened to Kylar's parents? I'm actually really curious about whether Kylar is "enlightened" or not, and if maybe that's why they're so... obsessive and weird.) I personally suspect that since Sydney's other parent once held Jordan's position, and Sydney may have accidentally proven themself "gifted" like Jordan & the PC, that is why the temple decided to make Sydney Jordan's successor. Jordan's whole deal seems to be that they are so oblivious to negative influences that they are willing the world into being more normal through sheer force of belief, though that doesn't seem to be working out too perfect for the town... probably because the Ivory Wraith is around, and people like Bailey, Briar, Quinn, and Remy are actively driving the town further and further into Auriga's grasp. Also, the PC exists, and most definitely is a similar sort of willful influence in their own way (hookah parlor), so... I wonder if maybe we're actually proving ourself to either become the Bishop's successor, or replace Sydney as Jordan's successor in the future, with the temple questline... 🤔

In conclusion: the town is caught up in a gang war between two opposing cults, and Sydney's just one more hapless victim like the rest. Just in their own, special way.

anon I love you for sending me this ask to chew on. thank you for the food

anyway my thoughts under the cut

100% agree that jordan/sydney's purity is totally just low-awareness. and i think for sydney part of that could very well have to do with getting like. lobotomized by harper. also ty for mentioning the syd ivory shit i think about it all the timeeeee

it's interesting to think about what could have sent sydney to the asylum... like, did it have to do with the death of their parent? the weird shit that went down with kylar's family? something else entirely? i want to know so bad. also speaking of kylar, I don't think sirris was the one who cut kylar off, I'm pretty sure it was syd's other parent. which makes sense given the context of their position in the temple-- it makes you wonder why their families were friends in the first place. I personally think it has to do with sirris' and kylars parents' connections to elk street (science?? work buddies of some sort???)

i do think sydney's kind of a tragic character, and i think the problems they already have are exacerbated by their circumstances. i don't think their lil outbursts are completely because of outside influence-- i think that they legitimately have a problem with that kind of shit, and that they're probably a lot more fucked up than they let on. i could talk more abt that but this i'm getting off track lmao

the replacing jordan/the bishop point is an interesting one hehe... it would be kinda funny if pc swooped in and replaced jordan instead of sydney, the kid who's been carefully groomed for years into being the ideal puritymaxxed jordan replacement

anyway i have so many thoughts but this is already so long and my brain is half-functioning rn. ty anon, talk to me about sydney and dol lore anytime <3

[yuesya]

I recently read about the OC character in the Hunter x Hunter and suddenly realized that Shiki could be mistaken for one of the Zoldycks. A white-haired murderous child, largely unaware of how human interpersonal relationships and basic empathy work. Also happens to be doll like beautiful, brilliant beyond imagination and very effective in martial arts, who does not even bat an eye at the association’s attempts.

I wheezed when I imagined Shiki landing in hxh honestly.

Really love your work, the endless au’s of Shiki in different timelines and stuff are feeding my restless brain

I read part of Hunter x Hunter a longgg time ago so the details are blurry for me, but I think I vaguely know what you're referring to. The Zoldycks are a family of assassins, or something like that? Perfect fit for MEoDP I guess, except personality-wise Shiki might have something to say about being a killer for hire.

Thanks for reading, and glad you're enjoying the AUs!

[renee00124]

I guess I am in the same boat as Katherine Albrecht. About 10 years ago, she suffered horrifically, reportedly, due to official efforts to silence her by high-tech synthetic created breast cancer and again reportedly, brain tumor and surgery.

As my breasts are continually microwave energy weapons beam slow-cooked, the hideous officiated individuals operating around me are so desperate to silence me by creating breast cancer. If not why the specific focus?

To show how diabolical this program is, they have set the beam on a lighter setting. I assume believing I won't feel the tingling sensation of the beam, typical of microwaves cooking the water molecules in food first as well as any area of the human body. The result is Necrosis or death of tissue, organs and joints. The hits to my head are penetrating to the point that my nose begins to run.

How many women, targeted with many unaware they are the focus of these hideous mysogynist maliciously targeted by the health deteriorating beam weapon system in their hands.

Associated Link:

[kamikazeonwings]

🎵!!

(sorry for making you put things into words lmao but it did make perfect sense and i loved reading abt em!!)

(the words were being particularly uncooperative earlier but such is life)

songs i associate with my ocs lets go

enigma to k

you try to act as if you're saving me but you wouldn't cut the rope if it was hanging me dancing with the devil - set it off

enigma

i think my fate is losing its patience i think the ground is pulling me down i think my life is losing momentum i think my ways are wearing me down but if i gave up on being pretty i wouldn't know how to be alive i should myself to a brand new city and teach myself how to die honey, what'd you take? what'd you take?

brand new city - mitski

enigma

and you think you got the cure to being bitter? but the pill tastes just as bad as the real thing so i hope you don't expect me to get better you don't think that i intend to help myself, do you?

do you? - woe.begone

enigma

if i am a wound i'm not the type to ever heal i have found the worst will drag us down but the best won't dig us up like we deserve and i have found that if you're gonna drown it's best to hold your breath starting now

givennen / hallowed - woe.begone

engima

of course it hurt, of course it fuckin' hurt it hurt like nothing in the world sometimes that i was super scared, and we were all a train-wreck and also somehow making it i think i might've died there twice, and i would do it all again

feel better - penelope scott

k

i can feel my heart breaking mistakes i've been making i'm running out of patience to pretend this isn't how i'll let it end my feigning fading

this is what happens when you leave it to somebody else if you want it done right you should just do it yourself you oversaturate your world with nothing but machines you might make everyone happy, but you're dead inside just like me and now we're here at a standstill i wonder if you feel the kind of pain that rips your insides out? that's something i know all about shocking, ain't it? we have a lot more in common than you would be calm with it's like we're the same person, me and you we both don't know what we can do

i can't fix you - the living tombstone

k

sometimes i wish i could take a new form switch out some parts and become like the norm

sometimes i wish i could lend you my voice lend you my heart and lend you my choice sometimes i hope for a savior to come who's got what it takes to convince everyone

sometimes i wish i could lend you my shoes lend you my life and lend you my truth but sometimes the truth is just my point of view not what is real and not what is true

lucky is she who lives unaware who doesn't get bothered by those who don't care lucky is she who lives unaware who doesn't get bothered by all that's unfair

unlucky me who knows way too much who fights to make changes and music and such unlucky me, aware of the pain all 'cause i happen to have some brain lucky is she who lives unaware

blow my brains out - tikkle me

k

secrets don't make enemies, but they don't make you friends can't watch myself break and bleed another second

pin cushion - siiickbrain

k

i'm only happy when i'm on the run i break a million hearts just for fun i don't belong to anyone i guess you could say that my life's a mess but i'm still looking pretty in this dress i'm the image of deception

when everything is life and death you may feel like there's nothing left instead of love and trust and laughter what you get is happy never after but deep down all you want is love the pure kind we all dream of but we cannot escape the past so you and i will never last

homewrecker - marina

k

“i do not wish the death of any living thing i might be a killer but one day i shall be queen and put an end to slaughter, but until then i’m keen on staking clam to land and sea and everyfin between”

i played a game with eleven fools who told me not to break the rules but when have angels ever helped me yet? and magic isn’t real and anyway it doesn’t matter 'cause no matter what i conjure it could not help me deflect the angry death of every hopeful thought that i might be a lover or a fighter that i’m not in someone's spider web, or net i could be caught but i’m too bitter, better off alone, guess i forgot

so what do you want me to say? sorry? should i apologize when you ignore me? i didn’t ask to be right or to be lonely or to be hatched into an ugly story

and now i think my calling is to break apart and fall to pieces better yet, invent a brand new method of ascension

i’m impressed, you’ve managed to survive but rest assured we’d all be better off dead than alive 'cause when they get a hold of us, we’ll all be batter-fried and i’m surprised that nobody’s considered switching sides

so here i am, respectfully and royally destroying any chance of getting back on your good gills and i don’t mean to be hurtful, but if yellow's the new purple well, then bleeding’s the new breathing, don’t you think i will

that i am just pathetic, i won’t be overlooked i’m past the point of fishing to get back upon your hook i’ve made a manifesto, i’ve been bested by a crook, but never more i’m planning on reclaiming what he took

ugly story // phemiec

[luminecho]

NO I MEAN HAIKU

???????????????!!!?!??

[from-a-reckless-writer]

“So, Andrea asked me out, today.”

“Fucking finally,” Sam mutters under her breath, rolling her eyes at Lena as if Lena’s an idiot who should’ve seen this coming.

“I’m sorry what? What do you mean, ‘finally’?” 

“Oh my God, do you seriously have no clue about it?”

“About what?” This time it was Kara who speaks up. They were having a Girls’ Night tonight, well, usually it was just a Kara and Lena night, but Sam came in for a rare visit and here they all are. 

“About how Lena apparently is an idiot who still doesn’t know that Andrea has been making heart-eyes at her since Day 1,” Sam deadpans and Lena’s eyes widen, brows shooting up to her forehead.

“What? What- No, she doesn’t. Oh my God, Sam! She’s my best friend. We go way back, there is nothing— Sam! Stop laughing, I’m serious!”

“Oh, honey, ever since boarding school she’s had a thing for you. She wouldn’t ask if it was nothing. Remember the first time I met with her?” Sam asks and Lena just nods because, okay what the fuck she really needs time to process this.

“She was jealous, she thought I was coming on to you or something, but then you said I was just a business associate and she calmed down,” Sam finishes and flashes of memory zip unto Lena’s brain. Yes, she does remember that day, how Andrea had acted hostile and odd until they met up again with Sam again during that merger and-

Oh my God. 

 “Ah, there it is. Moment of realization hit hard much? Here, have a drink, buddy.”

Sam thinks this is funny. 

Sam thinks this is so funny and she is so smug about being right and Lena wants to wash the damn smugness off of her face. Sam was too busy laughing and Lena was too busy plotting to kill Sam that they failed to notice how Kara completely turned silent. 

“Good of her to finally have the guts to ask you out. Been a long time coming,” Sam rambles mindlessly sipping at her wine. 

“Wait, I’m still processing— Why didn’t she say anything?” 

“Probably didn’t want to ruin your friendship.”

“Then why now?”

“I don’t know, maybe because she tried not asking you out to keep your friendship. But shit happened and your friendship was lost anyway, but now she doesn’t have anything to lose so maybe she thought, might as well...” Sam shrugs as if it were nothing, but Lena, Lena’s brain was scrambling and— 

“Man, am I glad, I chose this week to visit. Say yes already, and me and Kara would even help you choose a dress. Right, Kara?”

They both turn to Kara, who has been uncharacteristically quiet this past few minutes.

“Huh? Wha- Oh, yeah. Yeah. Dress, right. Yeah,” Kara stutters out and Lena knows something is definitely wrong.

“Are you okay?” She asks and Sam just raises a brow at her.

“Oh, yeah. Just—  long day, you know?” 

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

But the answer was subdued and Lena wasn’t really all that convinced but Sam is interrogating her again and she really just wants to solve this Andrea Dilemma first. Besides, she’s staying over anyway, she can talk to Kara later.

“How did she ask you out? Spill, right now. Spare us no details.” 

Well…

***

“Well, I’m glad that we got that over with.”

“Couldn’t have done it without you, Andrea.”

“Mm, that’s nice to hear. I missed that, coming from you. I- I missed you.”

“Andrea Rojas, you’re getting soft on me. But for what it’s worth I missed you too.”

“Listen, I uh- I wanna ask you something, but you have to promise me you’ll think about it.”

“Is everything alright? You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“Gotodinnerwithme.”

“Did you say dinner?”

“Yeah, I- want to get dinner. With you. Possibly. As my date.”

“Oh.”

***

“Well, can you blame me? I didn’t know she— “ Lena trailed off, finding it hard to think of words.

“Oh?! Oh?! That’s the only thing you said?!” Sam screeches, wine sloshing about in her glass.

“Didn’t know she had feelings for you?” Kara finishes for her with an unreadable look on her face that Lena desperately wants to decipher. But can’t. Not with Sam hovering. 

"Yeah, that,” Lena says lamely, this is ridiculous. She feels like a teenager unaware of how to function in the real world just because a pretty girl asked her to dinner. But to be fair though, Andrea isn’t just some pretty girl.

Andrea was…

Something. 

Yeah, Andrea was Lena’s something. Once. 

“I mean, I did say I was going to think about it. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings but I also didn’t want to lead her on? But I think I kind of did? Did I? Oh, fuck this. Somebody get me more wine.”

Sam pours her a generous amount.

“Well, the question is, do you want to go out with her?”

“I don’t...know,” She admits and Sam just looks at her with the kind of  eyes she sees her make when she wants Ruby to understand something. 

“The question is a simple yes or no, Lena. If you don’t want to, then don’t. If you want to, then go. You don’t owe anybody. If she feels that way, she feels that way. It’s not your fault she caught feelings. You can always say no.”

“I know that, but— “

“But what?”

“It’s Andrea.”

Before Sam can give her another lengthy advice, her friend's phone buzzes and her niece’s face lights up the screen.

“Well, that’s my cue,” Sam says before picking up and telling her daughter that yes, she’s coming home soon. 

“I guess we should call it a night,” Lena voices out as Sam hangs-up. Sam gives both of them bear hugs, whispering in her ear, “You’re going to tell me everything, after.”

And Lena kicks her out of the apartment with an eye-roll. 

She hears Kara moving behind her, probably using her superspeed so Lena doesn’t have to do anything. 

“Hey,” Lena calls out carefully, she’s been eyeing Kara all night and she can’t ignore that something was up.

 “Yeah?” Kara answers coming from the kitchen, wiping her wet hands on her pants as she approaches.

“Sit with me?” 

Lena gestures to the other unoccupied side of the couch. Kara plops down with a sigh, Lena automatically putting her feet up on Kara’s lap. 

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

To which Kara answered with, “No.”

Well, Lena wasn’t expecting that. Kara tells her everything, that was their thing. Lena has no idea how it happened but Kara tells her everything and Lena tells Kara everything, that’s just them. That was how it is. So, Lena was more than baffled at Kara’s silence. 

“Okay, then. Help me with my problem instead?”

“Fine.”

Cold. Wow, Okay. Okay. She wasn’t going to push but this is really odd behavior for Kara. 

“Do- do you think, I should say yes?

”“To Andrea?”

“To Andrea,” Lena confirms and Kara tosses her head back on the sofa and closes her eyes.

“I don’t know, Lena. That’s...your choice— “

“I know it’s my choice, I’m just asking for your input. How ‘bout a pro’s and con’s list?”“Pro’s first,” Lena says and begins a list, “She knows things about me, in a way that most people would never, that’s a good reason, right?”

“Yeah th-that’s good. She’s rich,” Kara adds and Lena laughs at that.

“Darling, I’m rich too.”

“Well, that’s another pro, you’re on the same level. No worrying about the media, no worrying about tight schedules because she’d understand, anyway. No worrying about gala dates because she’s going to be there, too. No worrying about what friends would say, it’s clear Sam approves and Jess would too. No worrying about long distances since I heard she’s staying around. She’s…”

Kara pauses and there’s this moment where Lena is just looking at her, Kara’s words looping in her head. As if Kara has thought about Andrea dating her a million times before, and what that might mean, as if—

“-perfect. She’s perfect for you, Lena. There’s— uh there’s no competing with that,” Kara’s voice trails off, “I don’t think there’s any con, about dating her. So, there you go. I helped didn’t I? I— You know what? I’m tired, I-”

Kara doesn’t even bother finishing her sentence, just pushes Lena’s legs off her lap and stands-up. Shoulders defeated and foot-steps heavy. Lena stays there on the couch. Usually, they’d get ready for bed together, but Lena has a feeling that Kara wants space, right now. So, she sits there, in the silence of Kara’s apartment, mind running a mile a minute about the implications of Kara’s behavior, listening to the way Kara’s flitting about in the bedroom, before she hears the duvet rustle and she knows it’s time. 

Lena takes her time, brushing her teeth, putting on the pajamas she keeps at Kara’s, combing her hair. She knows Kara never falls asleep without bidding her good night first. But the silence from Kara’s end makes her believe her best friend had already been taken by slumber. 

Lena slowly climbs into bed, Kara laying on her side, facing away from Lena. She claims her side and slowly leans into Kara’s back, she can feel Kara stiffen from the close proximity. Lena takes a breath and starts wrapping her arms around Kara, spooning her. Lena gives herself a moment to just breathe her in. Kara doesn’t relax.

“You know, there is a con,” She starts and she knows Kara’s listening, “There’s one con, about dating Andrea.” she waits for Kara to reply, hoping that she would.

“What?”

“She’s not you.”

“What?”

“She’s—“ Lena inhales, braces herself, fucking now or never, “She’s not Kara Zor-El. She’s not the woman I want to be dating. She’s not the one who I want to ask me to dinner. She’s not you, Kara.”

She feels Kara turn and Lena slowly loosens her arms so Kara can face her.God, her eyes are so blue even in the dark. 

“Lena, what?”

“Then why would you ask if you should date Andrea?” Kara asks, voice small and Lena clings to her tighter, puts a palm against her cheek.

“You already said that, darling,” she teases before clarifying, “I said, I want you. I don’t want Andrea. I don’t want anyone else. I want you.”

“Okay, wow. I— give me a minute, wow okay, wow.” Kara stutters out in disbelief. As if Lena would want anybody but her. 

“I needed to know if you felt the same. I have been trying, Kara. I’ve been trying to tell you how I feel. Wishing you’d pick up on it but I don’t know if you don’t notice or you just really don’t see me that way, but tonight—”

“Tonight, what? What gave me away?”

“You don’t really think, I won’t notice when you’re hurting, do you? The moment I mentioned Andrea, your face fell. You were quiet the whole night. Not to mention you were giving me the cold shoulder once Sam left.”

“I thought I was being subtle,” Kara whispers sheepishly and Lena can’t fight the grin off her face. 

“You weren’t,” Lena breathes and becomes aware of the fact that Kara’s lips are right there, and she’s pretty sure that if she asks, Kara would kiss her. Kara would kiss her, right?

“Kara— “

“Can I— “

They say at the same time and Lena doesn’t really know nor does she care who leaned in first, just that their lips are pressed together, and it’s perfect. This moment is perfect and Lena wants to keep this moment tucked away in her heart, somewhere only she and Kara have permission to.

 And God, they were just as bad as the other. Idiots pining, sneaking glances, buying companies, heroic saves, but Lena guesses it doesn’t really matter, because now they have this.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

***

Three weeks later, Lena receives a call from Metropolis, Sam’s name flashing briefly on her screen.

“You have a shit ton of explaining to do, Lena Luthor. What the fuck did Jess mean when she said, ‘Miss Luthor and Miss Danvers are out on a lunch date as of the moment.’?”

[wanderingwomanwondering]

Anybody else think Admiral Vance and Ruon Tarka were romantically involved at some point?

Here’s why I think Vance and Tarka were a thing:

1. Tarka used Vance’s security codes to steal the tech, which in and of itself is not raising my eyebrows because Vance has the level of security clearance Tarka needed and Tarka is fully capable of cracking a security system/stealing high level access codes. What takes Tarka’s thievery to the next level is how blindsided and crushed Vance seemed when he was told his codes were used. It felt personal.

2. The President made some commentary that seemed odd given the surface-level circumstances. Like. Why mention that Vance handpicked Tarka and gave him free reign/limited oversight? Unless it’s relevant. That conversation could have easily been about needed security updates and/or Tarka’s skills, but it wasn’t. Again, it was personal. You know who else had a personal blindspot with one of our “rogue associates”? You guessed it…Burnham. Vance is chastised by the President right alongside Burnham which was an interesting choice.

3. President Rillak is clear that Burnham is too close to the situation and shouldn’t be involved but Vance privately counters Rillak’s decision. Why keep his disagreement to himself if he really does believe - in his professional opinion as Admiral - that Burnham can help despite her (increasingly fragile) romantic relationship with Book? Again, Vance’s decision-making feels personal in a way it hasn’t really been before.

4. That Vance talk with Burnham was sumthin! Vance talked about meeting “Ruon Tarka”. Why include his first name (when no one else does) if there was no relationship that went beyond their Starfleet science dealings? Why the praise and admiration of Tarka’s brilliant mind (read: head of heels and in awe of the man) if not to low-key explain how he was so unaware of Tarka’s true intentions? Why the huge smile when talking about Tarka’s propulsion engineering plans? They went places y’all LOL. Why the earnest and emotional statement about believing in Tarka’s wide-eyed ingenuity if not to underscore his pain over being betrayed? Why does Vance *still* believe (in) Tarka after such an epic violation of trust?

5. Why is Vance wracking his brain trying to understand Tarka’s motivation? Tarka’s surface-level motivations are actually pretty simple! Vance’s confusion is decidedly personal. If Tarka were just a brilliant scientist under his professional power, Vance might be disappointed by the betrayal, but he would not be pacing in a subordinate’s office and handing out a clandestine unapproved mission assignment!!!

5. Vance empowers Burnham to find Book and Tarka, directly violating the President’s expressed wishes. Why jeopardize the respect he has from the President for Tarka’s sake if he doesn’t have a deeper relationship with Tarka than just business?

6. This one may just be my overactive imagination but I thought it was interesting that Vance goes from brainstorming reasons why Tarka betrayed him to Vance mentioning his own family and not wanting to lose them 👀 Feels like a slip of his subconscious 😂 Like maybe Tarka became Vance’s family for 10 years, then Vance’s partner and kids came back after Discovery did its thing in s3. Maybe Tarka got hyperfocused on using the DMA to find his lost Emerald Chain scientist “friend” right around the same time that Vance rushed back to his own family. Owosekun’s chat with Tarka could kinda sorta point to this because she speculated that Tarka’s motivation could be revenge or keeping his promise, and he looked like he was in his thoughts & feelings on *both* counts! Keeping the promise to his friend is his main motivation according to him (a la the recruitment speech he gave Book) but revenge against Vance for not choosing him could be a thing too. Idk.

TLDR: Overall Vance seems to be paralleled with Captain Burnham in this ep, and we know her personal stake in the drama of this arc is romantic. I think Vance’s is too. Between Vance’s emotional talk with Burnham in 408 and him giving her a secret mission against Rillak’s wishes, both my unmanicured eyebrows are raised!

Okie dokie then. I have more little thoughts about $hit like Vance’s body language during that conversation with Burnham but I’ll stop here. I’m gonna go crawl back under my rock and dream about Jola (Joyla) one of my actual otp’s for this show 🖖🏾

[crystalas]

Blazing Blue part 1

Red Son runs away from home after overhearing his father call him a worthless excuse of a demon, agreeing to a truce with MK he ends up with the Monkie crew unaware that someone wants to steal a power that was sealed away long ago.

Chapter one: Truce buddies

Demon Bull King stood amongst the ruins of his old hidden stronghold, his robot clones busy digging out the remains and salvaging anything of use. He took a weary sigh and he surveyed all of what he had built since his revival and growled at how quickly it was destroyed…annoyingly at his own hand! Only then to be enslaved by Spider Queen while trying to raise enough funds to rebuild it. Needless to say, it had a been a few rough months for the Demon Bull Family.

“Man, I had heard your family had fallen on hard times but this is embarrassing!” a voice chuckled and Demon Bull King felt himself bristle with anger, he spun around to smash whoever thought it wise to mock a ten-foot-tall bull demon only to find the black monkey warrior Macaque lounging leisurely on top of a pile of rubble.

“Begone, you annoying simian shadow, I have no time for you” Demon Bull King snarled.

“Aw and I came all the way down here to chat, how rude. I mean I’ll excuse you not getting out the fine China for me on account of well…” he gestures to the crumbling ruin as a chunk of wall collapsed behind him. “Your recent string of humiliating defeats and the fact you had to team up with Monkey King…just wow…how low can you go?”

Macaque quickly sprung to his feet and nimbly dodged a lump of molten metal that flew right past him and buried itself into the ceiling behind him.

“If you have come here just to mock me then I will make you pay for every word you speak tenfold!” he roared.

“You’re right I’m sorry, I actually wanted to see if you were interested in an alliance of sorts?” Macaque exclaimed as he hopped lightly down the rubble pile without so much as disturbing a brick and looked up at Demon Bull King with a smile.

“You come to my home…Mock me and my family and rub salt in my wounds and you ASK FOR AN ALLIENCE!!??”

“What if I told you, it’s a plan to destroy the Monkey King? And his little fan club?” Macaque offered, Demon Bull King glared at him said not a word and then with speed not many would associate with a creature of his size and bulk snatched Macaque with his hand and brought him up to his face to look him in the eye.

“Know this Six Ears Macaque just because I have been buried under a mountain for the last few centuries does not mean I am ignorant of current events! You tried to best Monkey King with his protégé’s own power and you still lost!” Demon Bull King snarled as Macaque squirmed in his tight grip before erupting into shadowy mist and escaping. Demon Bull King glanced around trying to find the real one only for what he hoped was the real one to appear perched nearby on what remained of his furnace.

“See that’s why I’m here, Monkey King knows I like to… “borrow” power from other people, and he probably think I’ll go for powers of say his fanboy or someone just as good but what if I blindsided him with powers of say… The Demon Bull King? Or Lady Iron Fan? Or maybe say the power of demon fire?”

“No. Begone.”

“Com’on I’m not even asking you to do anything just let me borrow some power and I’ll do the butt kicking!”

“Begone.” Demon Bull King replied even harsher than last time.

“Fine, I get it.” Macaque grumbled “Best shot you have of getting your revenge and you’re going to turn it down!”

“I am not as foolish as to become a mere power source to another being, that is not an alliance that is servitude at best!” Demon Bull King declared standing to his full height with his fist clench ready for battle. “And do not think me as foolish to let you even try!”

“Fine. Fine I’ll just try Red Son, he’s more open minded about these things. Plus, I’ve heard the rumours of his… hidden inheritance” Macaque smirked as he spun on his heels and walked away casually only for a fist to slammed into the wall blocking his path.

“You will stay away from my family!” Demon Bull King hissed.

“So, it is true? I mean I’ve heard stories about it but given what I’ve seen of him in action I’d begun to doubt any of them!”

Demon Bull King thought quickly but to be fair his wife was more the brains of the operation, if Macaque was beginning to doubt the stories better to confirmed it than deny them.

“Red Son is a pathetic whelp, who is an embarrassment to us and unworthy of being called my son, he only brings shame and defeat to whatever he does. Whatever rumours you had heard are merely that; rumours. If he did have any power worthy of the Demon Bull King family name, don’t you think I would have used it by now?” Demon Bull King declared coldly, “You have clearly wasted your time and mine. You have your answer. Now go!”

“I guess they must be wrong if even you say Red Son is a worthless excuse of a demon. My mistake, you know how stories get hyped up over the years…I’ll be on my way” Macaque said sadly as he hopped down and walked away arms crossed behind his back. As he did, he glanced over at one of the corridors that snaked through Demon Bull King’s hide out to see a quiet and pale faced Red Son…

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Red Son had managed to find his room amongst the rubble and save some clothes, books and tools. Sadly, an iron girder had broken through the roof of his room and destroyed his computer set up and mechanics bench, in a way he was ok with that. Rebuilding his computer would give him something to do while the reconstruction was underway. Now he was heading to the main chamber as he was getting peckish and fancied going up top to grab some food, might as well see if Father didn’t want anything before, he headed out.

As he walked down the corridor, he heard his father shouting and the muffled voices of him talking to another. Who could that be? Red Son wondered as he started to walk faster, Mother shouldn’t be back just yet. She had left the city to find spell ingredients for her magics, [it is kind of hard to locate stuff like dragon scales and tree spirit sap in a dense city metropolis.]

As he came to the opening to the main chambre he heard something that made his heart stop.

“Red Son is a pathetic whelp, who is an embarrassment us and unworthy of being called my son…” his father said, as he tried to listen everything else but it just to swim in and out of his focus as his head spun. “…Only brings shame and defeat…Worthless excuse of a demon…waste of…my time…”

Why? Why would his father say that? Red Son thought they had made progress in their relationship, okay fine he had only called him son that one time but…but that was still a better than nothing? He saved him when the Spider Queen caught him in her webs, they fought her together.

Was he really back to square one? No. it was apparently worse than that he wasn’t back at square one he was off the game board entirely as far as his father was concerned. Heavens knows how his mother must see him give she has called him useless to his face! He had tried no end of times to prove himself only to come home with nothing to show for it.

He didn’t even register Macaque walk by as he spun on his heels and went back to what remains of his room; stuffing what he had salvaged into a backpack and swallowing back a painful lump in his throat as he quickly wrote a note leaving it on the metal girder for whoever to find. He took a deep breath trying to steady his emotions before disappearing in a swirl of flames.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Monkey Kid or MK was feeling down of late; his Master the Monkey King had given him the task of catching a red leaf with a gold dot on it. That didn’t sound too hard right? Not when Monkey King is making it rain hundreds of other leaves all of different colours and hues as well and expects him to find it in minutes!

MK sighed, he knew what the lesson was about he was supposed to focus on that one leaf and avoid all other distractions. If he pulled it off and mastered it, he knew he’s probably be able to find a grain of rice on a beach or something as pointless but somehow totally cool sounding. Problem was he couldn’t pull it off, he kept getting distracted or just overwhelmed by the leaves getting dumped on him from above.

So now he sat on a ledge of Flower Fruit Mountain overlooking the sunset on the city, he liked to come here when he wanted to clear his head. On one hand it was freaking awesome he was the protégé of The Monkey King a warrior of renowned legendary might and skill…on the other hand sometimes it would dawn on him on just how daunting it was to live up to the expectations of an immortal warrior who seems to have seen everything the world has to offer and then some.

He sighed as he stood up and brushed the dirt off his pants before grabbing his staff. He began to walk he saw that he wasn’t the only one taking in the view with a sense of melancholy. As he got closer, he squawked in alarm as he saw the familiar flaming red hair and ragged jacket.

“RED SON??!!” this outburst caused Red Son to leap out of his skin and jump to his feet. “What are you doing here?!”

“Oh, push off Noodle Boy, last time I checked you don’t own this mountain!” Red Son snapped grabbing his stuff and storming off “But if you’re here that means Monkey King isn’t far behind and I rather not have to deal with him on top of everything else!”

“Huh? Hey wait!” MK shouted as he noticed the backpack. “What’s in there?!”

“None of your concern!” Red Son barked back.

“It is my concern when you show up on Monkey King’s Mountain with a suspicious bag! What’s in it?”

“It’s not a bomb or anything!”

“You got a BOMB??!!”

“Oh, for the love of…NO! I have not got a bomb or anything of the sort! I mean for pity’s sake I can literally throw fire balls why would I need to carry an explosive weapon??!!”

MK dashed forward and tried to grab the backpack and Red Son tried to pulled it away from him leading to a very childish game of tug of war.

“Lemme see what’s in it!”

“NO!”

“If you’ve got nothing to hide then you have nothing to worry about!”

“ITS MY STUFF SO LET GO!”

Sadly, a backpack that had endured many scorches from its owner and grounded by rubble could only bear so much and with one last pull from both sides the backpack’s fabric tore open and Red Son’s stuff poured onto the floor. Red Son dived down to grab what he could as MK took in the sights of clothes, food, and other mundane stuff.

“Dude…are you camping or something?” MK asked as he saw one of the items that had skidded out of Red Son’s reach, he knelt down to pick it up and saw it was a hand sized family portrait of Princess Iron Fan and Demon Bull King…before he could get a good look it was snatched from his hands.

“Just leave me alone!” Red Son growled “You can clearly see that I am not a threat!”

“Red …are you ok?”

Red Son was trying to figure out how to keep his stuff in a backpack with a massive hole in it, but he was also trying desperately to ignore the look of concern that was coming from his enemy.

“Are you running away from home?”

Red Son didn’t respond to that and he had stopped fiddling with his backpack as he was now staring sadly at the photo.

“Why?” MK asked softly.

“Why do you care?”

“I mean…I dunno…you and your dad seem to be getting on when I last saw you, seems strange that you’re running away!”

“I AM NOT RUNNING AWAY!” Red Son roared his hair flaring up in flames, gripping the photo tightly as he did. The flames died quickly as did Red Son’s anger as he then whispered “I’m…I’m…just making things easier for my parents…”

MK tilted his head in confusion, he looked at Red Son for a moment. This was a guy who was always so confident, loud and proud of his name and heritage he literally introduces himself in full name whenever he’s about to do something dastardly or anything for that matter. Now he was sitting there with a backpack full of his possessions, on a mountain far from home, staring at a family picture like he’s never going to see them again.

MK sat down next to Red Son, putting the staff away to show he meant no harm.

“Want to talk about it?”

Red Son looked away angrily.

“Ok how about I go first? You know how cool it is to have someone like the freaking Monkey King show up and say that’ll they teach you? It is don’t get me wrong but then you begin to see how big of a shadow you’re stuck under? We’re talking about a guy who literally stole from the heavens and got away with it and has beaten up who knows how many monsters and demons? I sometimes wonder if I’m ever gonna be good enough for this, it’s just feels like the whole universe is just waiting for me to screw up, just to prove that I can’t do it… y’know what I mean?” there a few moments of silence and MK was about to try again when he heard a small voice.

“At least he believes in you, it must be nice to have a someone like that.”

“Your parents don’t?”

“… …no…” Red Son muttered, “I overheard my father today telling someone that he considers me an embarrassment to the family name, along with a few other choice words…”

“So, you…left?”

“I don’t know I wasn’t thinking at the time!” Red Son cried out angrily tugging at his head in frustration, “I want prove to my father that I am worthy of being his son but how? How do I show him that I’m not a …a…pathetic whelp?”

There was a heavy tense silence between them as they both looked at each other and then at the city, the sun nearing finished setting and the in the twilight the city lights began to shine.

“You know what?” MK declared as he got up. “We both need a break!”

“What?”

“A break from all this living up to people’s expectations and ideals! A chance to recharge the batteries and get some of that well-being self-care stuff!”

“What exactly are you proposing?” Red Son inquired nervously.

“We can just hang out; you know play games and chill? Also, you can stay at mine till you get this all sorted out!”

Red Son looked at MK like he had just announced that the moon was made of cream cheese and was inhabited by flying guinea pigs.

“So…a truce?” he ventured nervously

“Yeah! My friends and I don’t fight you, and you don’t fight us!”

Red Son looked down at his destroyed backpack, then glanced at the mountain side he was on and realised that maybe coming up here to hide was a dumb idea.

“It not like I’ve got anything better to do!” he grumbled.

“AWESOME!” MK beamed “Let’s go! We’re gonna be Truce Buddies!”

[blackcherrykiss]

BLOOD BOUNDARIES - Enhypen OT7 Fanfic (ch.3)

[CH.1] [CH.2 ] previous chapters

[CH.4] next chapter 

genre: vampire au, romance, drama, mystery, thriller

note: written inspired by enhypen's storyline, given-taken lyrics & teasers. please keep in mind all members are apart of this fanfic and the main theme is mystery/drama! 

...

"Kyungeun is that a... Hickey?" You blush at the unfamiliar sight.

"N-no n-not exactly...? I'm actually not allowed to show others this..." She exhaled deeply.

"Allowed?" You questioned her word choice.

"I-I mean, other girls would think I'm a slut if they saw this? I guess..."

"Oh, I understand. The girls here can be so judgemental... I can see why you'd want to hide it," You proceeded to comfort her as you felt unwillingly suspicious of her, "Don't worry! secret safe with me!" You pretended to zip your lips closed. However, you were still sceptical of the lack of confidence she had sewed in her words. But it wasn't like you were going to fish for the real story and details.

"You're literally an angel sent from the heavens..." She fiddled with her slender fingers, "You're so innocent and pure... Please stay that way." She said with a sentimental tone. "What about you? Don't you have any weight on your shoulders? I feel bad that you're always the listening rock." She frowned.

You could tell she would genuinely listen, giving you a bit of confidence to speak up, "Actually, I do have something."

"Mhm? What's up?" She went into an attentive mode.

"Well... You know of Lee Heeseung right? He's a senior, relatively tall, red hair, fawn-like eyes... I'm sure you're friends with him."

"Yeah, I-I know him."

"Well... This sounds a little unrealistic but I've been needing to tell someone cause it was just so bizarre but, yesterday I fell in front of him and scraped my hand." You cracked up in between from the embarrassing story, "And so it started to bleed right?"

Kyungeun stared into space, emotion leaving her eyes, "Right...?"

"Again... I know this sounds so strange but then he..." You hesitated as you got to the weird part, making every word harder to say. "But then... He licked it... T-the blood..." You awaited a laughing face from her but instead received a silent reaction. "Sorry, you probably think I'm lying right? But I swear it happened." You scoffed at yourself.

"No... I believe you..." Kyungeun spoke softly.

"In fact, it actually happened while I was walking back to the dorms with Jungwon." You added in the detail.

"Jungwon!? Are you still hanging around him?!"

"Jeez, he's not that big of a loser... Jungwon's been getting kind of popular amongst the girls actually. I hear some girls talk about him." You were kind of flustered pointing out those observations, quickly fanning away those awkward feelings.

"Do you usually hang out with Jungwon alone?!" She said with concern filled eyes.

"Woah, when you put it that way haha... It sounds scandalous." You whisper even if it's just you two in the change room.

"Look Y/N, you need to stop hanging around with-" She cut herself off when a wave of girls burst into the clearing.

"Hmm? With?"

"Nevermind. Let's go do the warmup!" Her mood flipping like a switch in front of  the sudden crowd

I

You wrap up your morning classes that day, which only moved slower with nothing in your body but water and an hour of sleep.

Packing up after your physics teacher deciding to end class early, you're moving at the speed of light to be the first to the dining hall. That is until you pass Jaeyun packing up his textbooks. Your two stares meet, triggering something bad in your intuition. Many bad feelings seem to be associated with him now that you know what kind of people he hangs around. You begin to walk funny upon such small interaction with him. With mismatched steps, you shuffle through all kinds of laughter and conversations amongst your classmates. You weren't exactly dismissed yet but it was your mission to leave earlier than everyone else and avoid the lunch wave.

With some luck, you slip out of the room successfully entering the vacant hallways. The emptiness and white noise of the halls haunting you. In short, your school was originally a castle built during the 18th century and retained its character over the years. However, the design made it much scarier to roam.

"Y/N... can I ask you something?"  You hear a loud echo from behind.

You just know exactly who that is. You don't even need to turn around to know the only possible soul it could be is Sim Jaeyun. You were more surprised he knew your name more than the fact this was the first time you heard his voice clearly.

You hear the heels of his shoes ring against the clean polished tiles.

"Not sure if I'll answer but ask away." You turn around unaware of how close he had gotten. You move your foot back as he looked deep into your soul. It was as if he knew exactly that eye contact was your weakness.

"How much do you know?" He questioned while taking an alarmingly close shift toward you, cornering you.

"About?" You weren't sure of where this conversation was going but you were honestly clueless.

"About us. Don't act like you don't know who I was referring too." He was now just barely outside your 'personal space'.

An airy chuckle escapes you,  "Is everyone trying to hide something from me? The answer is nothing. All I know is you're apart of some pretty boy gang and I shouldn't get involved with you."

"Sweetheart once you get involved with us, you can't get out." He bent closer with a sneer.

"Huh? I've only met half of you and you're all weird as hell. All I did was fall in front of Heeseung, how am I involved with you guys?" You push him back with your index finger.

"I heard about that situation. Heeseung's kind of bold isn't he?" Jaeyun snickers, "It's just fun for us to see someone who knows so little yet so much about us now."

You tried to express both your confusion and frustration through your face. It was unbelievable what he was saying but it was interesting that Heeseung would mention the incident to other people. "So little yet so much? I swear my roommates know more about you guys than I do."

"Do they? Or do they just know what we want them to?" He looked satisfied seeing your brain melt trying to process what he meant. "Think a little harder about what Heeseung did to you the other day."

You shook away the long thoughts he left you with, "Look. I lost my appetite earlier from you guys. I have not eaten since last night and I'm about to explode. Can we continue this another time-"

He bit the side of his lower lip, looking around before bringing himself to a distance where he was so close you could kiss him with just the slight movement of breathing, "I'm starving too but I've got my boundaries."

You felt like he was challenging you as a way of hooking you deeper. "Really? Are you sure you aren't crossing those boundaries?" You whisper clearly into his ear, with your head wide above the crook of his neck as you notice Jungwon behind Jaeyun.

[tarteausuga]

maybe soon

Contents: fluff, basketball player! Johnny Featuring: Johnny x reader, other members of NCT sporadically A/N: there could potentially be another part... word count: 2.4k-ish

In which you’re the head athletic trainer of the basketball team that Johnny is the captain of...

"Mark, I know you can wrap it yourself. I've taught you multiple times." You breeze by one of the youngest players of the team who was begging you to wrap his ankle for him.

"You do it so much better though! I don't play as well if I do it myself." He whined as you rolled your eyes at him.

"You'll have to wait your turn then." You direct your attention to Johnny, the captain who has been nursing a sprained knee for the past few weeks. "Have you been icing it on and off like I've told you to?" You ask him but your attention is directed at his leg.

"Yes and I've been keeping it elevated. How can I not when you're in half of my classes nagging me during lectures?" He smirks at you but you don't pay him any attention.

"It looks a lot better now. I'll find you a knee brace and you shouldn't need to wrap it anymore." You smile, content with your treatment as you pin the bandage in place.

"You're a lot less scary when you smile, you know?" He jokes with you as you give him a slight push. Telling him to shut it before finally attending to the needy Mark Lee who is being touted as the next star of your university's basketball team.

You felt a lot of pride in your work with the team. Sure it was all for course credit towards your athletic training degree but something about it made you feel like you were part of the team. They relied on you and you often felt like you were supporting them through your work. You were never great at sports so this was your one way of being part of something that you love so much.

Your dedication had paid off as you had been named the head student trainer after years of running water bottles and hauling medical kits. Working under the advice of your professor, you were trusted to call the shots and unlike some of your classmates, your advising professor rarely questioned you.

"Alright boys, gather around." Johnny called out in his booming voice just as you were finishing up wrapping Mark's ankle. You then proceeded to help your junior trainers with packing up the kits and filling water bottles.

"Johnny is always watching you." One of the younger girls said to you and giggled.

"He's so hot, I wish he would look at me." Another girl pouted and you fought off the urge to roll your eyes in front of them.

You found that a lot of the students who signed up to be part of your team were mainly a) female and b) trying to get close with at least one of the players. It was frustrating on your end because it often meant more work for you as they were often too flustered or distracted to focus on their actual jobs.

"You know that I help to grade you guys, right?" You glare at them as you found yourself doing your kit inventories alone while they were busy giggling about the players.

"You're no fun. You can't possibly say you're not attracted to any of them." A third girl scoffed at you.

"I can honestly say that when you deal with their sweaty feet enough, they lose their allure." You lie as they all become visibly disgusted and finally start doing their jobs assigned by you. You stifle a smile as you look up and meet Johnny's eyes from across the room. The last thing you were going to do was admit to your juniors that you were interested in someone. And the second last thing you were going to do was tell them that the person in mind was none other than campus celebrity, Johnny Suh.

You approved the medical kits as Johnny dismissed the team and they proceeded towards the gym for warmups. You also sent your trainers to follow, reminding them to do their inspections of the gym and not ogling the team.

"Go easy on them." Johnny nudges you.

"That wouldn't be any fun then." You nudge him back.

"See? Much cuter with a smile on your face." He chuckles while running away before you can smack his arm.

There was always so much going on during game nights. The basketball team was the most popular on campus, beating out the soccer team somehow. There were hoards of fangirls in the stands screaming out the names of individual players. Then there was the band and of course, the cheerleaders but to no one's surprise, the players were the centre of attention.

Johnny seemed to thrive in this environment. He would flash a smile every once in a while to the girls in the stands, drawing screams sounding like they were in pain. You could even see some of the cheerleaders try not to lose their composure from the sidelines when they saw him push his hair out of his eyes.

"That kid is lucky he's great at basketball," the coach mumbled before shouting "FOCUS ON THE PLAY SUH!"

You couldn't help but fight back a chuckle as Johnny posted up a 3-pointer before saluting his coach.

---

The game was over and while everyone was returning to their respective homes to rest after the exciting win, you were back in the training room making sure the team started their recoveries well: Attending to bruises, strains and pre-existing injuries as quickly as possible. Johnny often sat back and watched you work. Laughing to himself whenever you made a quick comment towards any of the guys.

"Are you going to ask y/n out anytime soon?" Jaehyun, another popular player on campus, slid next to his captain.

"Nah I'm just going to get rejected. I've tried every year and it's always a no." Johnny smiles fondly at all of the times you've turned him down.

"You seem oddly happy about that." Jaehyun frowns.

"We spend more time together like this. We would have to be separated if we started dating. Conflict of interest or whatever but I still ask every year just to make sure we feel the same way." Johnny explains.

"And you're okay with the rejection…" Jaehyun tries to confirm but Johnny only nods, continuing to watch you work with the team. "There are other girls out there. You know that right?" Jaehyun suggested.

Johnny tried not to seem physically disgusted at the prospect. "I'm aware, Jaehyun. Thanks." He said in his low tone that often scared the other players.

"Alright, I'm just saying." Jaehyun slid away.

When the room quiets down and all of the team has trickled out, you're left with melted bags of ice and cut up pieces of athletic tape surrounding you. But you're not alone as Johnny seats himself across from you on the training table.

"Is it my turn now?" He smiles.

"You need to pay attention better," you sigh with a faint smile, undoing the bandages wrapped around his knee, "one slip and you're doing to hurt your knee again."

Johnny always had knee problems. He tore his ACL during your second year of university and it never fully recovered after surgery. That was probably the toughest year of Johnny's career, facing the fact that he likely wouldn't make his dreams of playing in the NBA come to reality. You tenderly apply ice to his knee as he winces at the cold.

"You worry too much." He says.

"You make me worry." You respond quickly.

"At least you feel something for me." He lowers himself to look up into your concentrated gaze.

"Let's not do this now." You look away and go make an ice bag for him.

"Oh come on, we always do this. I ask you out, you reject me, we bicker back and forth then we both quietly know the feelings are still there." He leans over you at the ice machine.

The best you can do is sigh and roll your eyes, "you're insufferable, Johnny Suh."

"And that's why you love me." He looks for an agreeing smile from you expectantly. You force one to appease him.

---

It was the morning before one of the last midterms of your university career. Nervous energy was all around as that classic air of tension flooded the campus as students wracked their brains with exam material. Your morning cup of relief, a coffee in your hand and Taeyong, one of your best friends and another member of the basketball team, talking your ear off.

"I spent all night making this tiny little cheat card my prof is letting us bring in but Yuta fucking spills water on it this morning, I was ready to kill the guy but-" he stopped talking when he noticed you stop dead in your tracks. He looked back to see you with a mortified look on your face. "Hey, what's up?" He gently touches your shoulder before turning towards your line of sight to see what had stopped you.

What he saw shocked him too. One of the cheerleaders who always made it known that she found Johnny attractive was seated on his lap in the food hall. He seemed disinterested but nonetheless, there she was. You immediately turn to walk the other way even though you were on your way towards your exam.

"Are you okay?" Taeyong struggled to catch up as you quickened your pace to make it in time while taking the long way around.

"It's fine, Taeyong. It's not like we're dating." You huff.

"I know but you guys like each other, don't you?" He asked.

"No," you lied, "I could never like someone like him so he can do whatever he wants."

"Hey." He finally stopped you.

"I don't have the time for this, I have to write my midterm." You slip away as you threw your untouched coffee in the trash. The thought of drinking coffee disgusted you all of a sudden. Your brain associated the beverage with Johnny as he was the one that introduced it to you during your first year of university.

You walked out of your exam and saw Taeyong waiting patiently outside. He had his fair share of fans around campus but he never entertained them as much as some of the other members of the team. He was often depicted as cold and scary so not many people approached him, unaware that he's one of the most kind-hearted people in your life.

"Hey, how did it go?" He asked you meekly.

"Pretty sure I bombed it," you sigh, "what about yours?"

"The twisted thing is that those cheat sheets force you to study so I guess I don't need to kill my roommate." You both laugh.

"Hey what are you guys laughing at?" You hear the voice you were dreading from behind you.

"I'll see you later, Taeyong." You say before quickly finding a new path for your afternoon.

"Is she okay?" Johnny asked, eyebrows furrowed.

"That's not for me to answer." Taeyong shrugs.

You try your best to act normal for practice that evening. You go through your usual motions of getting everyone taped up and ready but everyone seemed to notice your usual lack of spirit and friendly banter with the team. Even your junior trainers talk quietly about whether you broke up with Johnny despite you telling them repetitively that there wasn't anything going on between the two of you. You avoid his eye contact as their coach runs through their plays and generally avoid looking at him in general during the whole practice.

When the training room cleared out, you were left with Johnny again and you tried to rush through wrapping his ice bag onto his knee when he grabs your hand. He bends his neck down again to look into your eyes which were starting to fill up with tears.

"Hey what's going on?"

"Nothing. I'm just stressed about midterms." You turn away from him to wipe your tears.

"I'm sure you did fine," he uses his strength to force you to face him. "You're the smartest person I know."

"A lot of good that does me." You scoff.

"Did I do something?" He asked.

"It's nothing, Johnny. I'm fine." You insist but he's not convinced.

"Are you mad at me or something?" He finally struck a chord with you.

You can only look at him for a moment as you try to tell him why you're upset with him. How do you word this without making things even more complicated than they already are?

"You didn't do anything wrong. I'm just dumb and thought I was special but I'm just like every other girl out there for you. It's my fault." You try to force a smile but he only looks at you in confusion.

"Other girls? What other girls? Oh did you see me with…" he pokes his tongue against the inside of his cheek as he lets out a breath of frustration. "That bitch…" he mumbles to himself.

"What?" You say.

"You saw that, didn't you?" He read the expression on your face before continuing, "we were just talking about midterms when she suddenly sits on me. I asked what she was doing and she said she saw her ex and needed a cover because she's trying to get across the point that she's not into him anymore."

You continue to look at him, trying to figure out whether he's telling the truth when he continues his explanation.

"Did you see me touching her at all?" You shook your head in response. "I didn't want to push her off, I might have hurt her so I just let her be. Now I'm thinking she only did that because she saw you." He took your cold hands in his. "I only like you, alright? I've always liked you otherwise I wouldn't bug you so much about everything."

"But I keep rejecting and you can have literally any girl you want." You say quietly.

"And where am I? Hanging out with you whenever I can. Waiting for basketball to be over so we can maybe be an actual couple." He laughs.

"Really?" You ask with tear soaked eyes.

"Yeah." He says.

"That's… kind of dumb." You say with a soft laugh,

"Thanks, I love you too." He smiles, running his thumb over the lines of your hand.

[emy-loves-you]

Have Your Name (And Your Back) Chapter 10

A Different Perspective

Patton wakes up and gets his godfather's perspective on magic.

Chapter 9 | Masterlist | Chapter 11

When Patton woke up for a second time, it was just after midnight.

Well, he’s pretty sure it’s for the second time. He doesn’t actually remember waking up the first time, just a dull hum of voices and a warm feeling in his chest. It might’ve just been a dream, dulled down to obscurity the moment he woke up. It didn’t really matter by this point. Patton was used to waking up in the middle of the night because Lady Hart wanted a snack or Lord Hart wanted a glass of brandy. Those nights were always a blur unless he was punished or if he was given an order that he needed to follow the next day. If there was something that he needed to remember, he would remember it as soon as he woke up.

Patton took a nice, deep breath before opening his eyes. The first thing he noticed was that someone had closed the curtains over his bed, giving him a sense of privacy and security. There was a small gap in the curtains, a small stream of moonlight peaking in and providing a small amount of illumination. He was still wearing his long gray t-shirt, and when he lifted the hem up all of his bruises seemed to be gone. He was about to get up when he realized that he was still holding his Fairy Godfather’s hand.

As soon as Patton realized that, Prince seemed to realize that Patton was awake. He magically parted the curtains with the flick of his wrist, still sitting in the same plush chair. Patton held back a wince in sympathy. He knew how painful it could be to sleep while sitting up - he’d been punished frequently for being caught asleep with a soapy sponge in hand - and with the way the chair was positioned, there was no way he could’ve leaned against the back of the chair and held Patton’s hand at the same time. That must’ve been an uncomfortable night. Did he even sleep last night?

Prince didn’t appear to be uncomfortable. In fact, he didn’t seem to be tired at all. He was wide eyed and alert, fretting silently and reminding Patton if the hens he would see fretting over their chicks. He waved his hands around Patton like he was wanting to touch him but didn’t want to startle him. That reminded Patton of the jester he had once seen when he was out at the market, waving their hands and jumping around. He imagined his godfather in a jester’s suit with makeup and a dangly hat with bells, and he couldn’t help but snort at the image.

That seemed to calm Prince down. The fairy chuckled nervously, putting his hand near Patton’s forehead but not actually touching him. Patton froze for a moment before leaning into the touch, smiling softly. They stayed like that for a few minutes, giving Patton a silent comfort that he hadn’t realized he needed. He was used to the cold silence of the Heart Manor, where any sounds were followed by dread and pain. After he moved into Prince’s manor, the silence around him always set him on edge. Sometimes he would keep the sink on and leave the bathroom door open so he could hear the rush of running water. When he was walking with Prince or reading about fae lore, he would hum random songs that he remembered hearing in the marketplace. Sometimes he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep for a while because the room was too quiet and dark.

But this silence was different. After he arrived at the manor, Patton had associated quiet with cold or pain. Either the physical chill and pain that he always felt deep in his bones, or the loneliness and fear that always seemed just around the corner. This silence, however, was different. Here, the chill was melted by the warm hand on his forehead. The loneliness was sated by the comforting presence of his fairy godfather. The pain was numbed by the knowledge that Prince cared, he cared enough to sit in the same spot for hours, just so Patton could feel safe. It was the type of silence that made the flame in his chest get just a little warmer, a little brighter. It made him wish, for the first time in a while, that the silence would never end.

However, the silence was inevitably broken when Prince spoke softly. “It’s good to see you awake, child. You gave me quite the fright.”

Patton felt that flicker of warmth in his chest return when Prince called him ‘child’ but he squashed it down. Prince is just calling Patton a child, because he technically is one. It doesn’t mean anything. He doesn’t view Patton as his child. He would probably stop calling Patton ‘child’ if he knew how it made him feel. Besides, there was a much more concerning part of what Prince said. “What do you mean?”

His Fairy Godfather sighed and ran a hand through Patton’s hair. “You were asleep for nearly three days, Heart. I was starting to worry that the nosebleed I had given you was actually fatal and you would never wake up.”

He gasped. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to sleep for that long and-” he tried to quickly sit up, but his muscles were so stiff that he ended up whining in pain.

“Shhh, it’s alright.” Prince gently pushed him back onto the bed. A familiar red light filled Patton’s vision as Prince’s fire magic licked at his skin. “It wasn’t your fault, child. Your body just wasn’t ready to handle that much healing magic. I should’ve realized it was your first experience with powerful magic.”

Patton frowned and gestured to the flames. “What about your magic? And Duke’s?”

The fairy chuckled. “I’m flattered that you think so highly of me, but this isn’t very strong magic. From a human’s perspective, this would seem like it’s difficult to perform. However, when you’ve been doing magic for centuries, this type of magic is almost as easy as breathing. Magic itself is more or less suggesting something to happen. The more you need to convince the outside world, the more powerful the magic. The human mind is… easily persuadable. Especially if the human is unaware of what the magic is persuading. My magic also specializes in protecting and defending, so anything to do with protecting you from harm will come easier to me than, say, Duke’s magic.” He gestured to the flames licking across Patton’s skin. “Right now, my magic is laced with the intent of relieving pain. That doesn’t  mean that you’re not in pain or injured. If I used this magic while you had a broken bone, the bone wouldn’t change at all. All I’m doing is telling your nerves and brain that there isn’t any pain to be felt. You can still feel normal sensations, but with a small bit of magic your nerves will quickly believe that there’s no pain.”

Patton’s eyes went wide, excited by the new information. “Is that a part of physical magic or negotiation magic?”

Prince chuckled sheepishly. “A little bit of both, I guess? Magic is too fluid to be easily sorted into two categories. Or any categories for that matter.” The flames slowly receded from Patton’s skin and formed a ball in his godfather’s hand. “Magic is all about the creator’s intent and the situation surrounding them. You try the same thing twice and get a different reaction each time. Even spells and potions, which are designed to have the same effect no matter the caster, will still have minute differences. Anything can affect what the magic actually does, from the ambient magic in the air to if the caster has indigestion. Sure, when you’re not the one casting it’s important to know the different types of magic. But when you’re the one casting, you have an easier chance at getting the results you want if you focus more on what you want to happen, not what’s supposed to happen.” The fire in Prince’s hand dissipated, revealing a small red ball.

The ball was placed in Patton’s hands and he stared in wonder, squeezing it gently. The ball looked tiny in Prince’s giant hands, yet Patton was barely able to wrap his hand around it. It was squishy and malleable, but when Patton let go it quickly rose back up to its original shape. Patton didn’t realize how long he had been staring at the ball until there was a knock at the door.

The door opened to reveal Duke carrying a large silver tray, his bracelet emitting a soft orange glow. Prince must’ve summoned him while I was playing with the ball. Duke noticed that Patton was awake and his face lit up as he rushed over, the pile of objects on his tray miraculously staying in place. “Kid! You’re finally up!” He practically threw the tray onto the bed and held out his hands, making a grabby-motion with his hand. “Can I hug you? Please? I promise I’ll be gentle!”

Patton thought about it for a moment before nodding, and Duke wasted no time before climbing onto the bed and wrapping his arms around the human’s tiny frame. Patton relished the warmth, hugging Duke back with all the strength he had. Patton felt his heart twist as he sniffled. “I don’t know why, but a part of me still thought you wouldn’t want to touch me after this.”

Prince smiled sadly and Duke squeezed Patton just a little harder. “Kid, trust me. The only reason why we wouldn’t want to touch you is if you told us not to touch you.”

Patton nodded, pushing down the urge to cry happy-tears. He didn’t want to make the fairies worried, and honestly he almost felt too tired to cry. He glanced over at the tray that Duke had thrown down, everything on it still sitting upright and unspilled. Probably magic. Patton didn’t recognize anything on the tray. There was a bowl with a dark orange broth and what appeared to be minced vegetables, some of which he couldn’t recognize. There were also multiple bottles, similar to the expensive perfume Lady Hart used to buy, all different sizes and shapes, but the nozzle was replaced with a cork. “What’s that?”

Duke pulled away. “Oh! It’s lunch!” Duke grabbed the tray and pointed to the bowl. “This is lentil soup. Logic and I made it yesterday, and I’ve used magic to keep it warm and fresh.”

Patton perked up as he looked over at the soup. “Logic helped make it?”

The fairy shrugged. “It was more like I helped him. I think this was a family recipe or something, he didn’t even need a cookbook!”

Patton stared at the soup in awe, carefully grabbing the spoon and taking a bite. It was like nothing he had ever tasted before, and he couldn’t stop himself from humming in surprise. He quickly went for a second bite, then a third, then a fourth. Before he knew it, a third of the bowl was already gone and he was practically shoveling soup into his mouth as quickly as possible.

Prince chuckled and held his hands up. “Woah! Slow down, the soup isn’t going anywhere.” Patton nodded and slowed down a little, but he didn’t stop eating. Maybe it was how tasty it was, maybe it was the fact that Logic made it, maybe it was the fact that he hadn’t eaten in 3 days. But for some reason the thought of putting down this soup for even a second sounded like the worst thing he could do.

Duke held up one of the weird bottles. “Make sure you save room for these!” Patton tilted his head in confusion and Duke explained. “They’re potions to help you grow strong and heal better. You’ll start out drinking all of these with every meal, then you’ll take them once a day, and eventually you’ll be all fixed up and won’t need them anymore!”

Patton nodded and put down his spoon. He might as well drink the potion now and finish the soup after if he’s still hungry. “Why aren’t they in normal bottles? They look like perfume bottles with wine corks.”

Duke chuckled and picked up one of the bottles. “They do kinda look like that, don’t they? These are pure crystal vials, and the corks are made of a special material so it doesn’t mess with the potion.” He uncorked one of the vials and held it up to the human. “Drink up!”

Patton grabbed the vial and sniffed it, surprised by the lack of smell. He carefully took a sip before immediately spitting it back into the vial. He cringed and fought back the urge to gag. “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

Prince sighed. “There’s not much we can do about the flavor without tampering with the potion. I can temporarily take away your sense of taste, but it might not help much.”

Patton nodded his head frantically. “Please, I think I might get sick if I taste that again.” There was a quiet whoosh and the aftertaste of the potion completely disappeared. It was really weird, but Patton was thankful anyways as he downed the first bottle. He couldn’t really do anything about the texture as he tried to swallow the weird goopy substance. He gagged a little every time he finished a bottle, the only thing keeping him going was Prince softly encouraging him and Duke handing him the next uncorked bottle.

He eventually downed the last potion and shuddered, pushing the rest of the soup away. The soup was delicious, but if he swallowed anything else he would actually throw up. Prince carefully climbed onto the bed and wrapped his arm around Patton in a sideways hug, and Patton melted at the touch. “You did such a good job.” His Fairy Godfather praised, running a hand through Patton’s hair. He shuddered again but forced himself to smile, trying to convey his appreciation without talking.

After a while, when Patton felt like he could talk without getting sick, he realized something and shuddered again. “I have to go through that with every meal, don’t I?”

Duke nodded. “Until we’re sure that your body can naturally heal yourself.” He picked up the tray and touched the human’s knee. “But we’ll be here to help you through it!”

Prince nodded and rubbed Patton’s lower back, in a spot where there were no scars. Did he remember that there weren’t any scars there, or did he use magic to find the right spot? “I’m sorry that you have to go through all of this, child. But we will be here to help you through it all. If you allow me, I’ll make sure you never have to suffer alone again.”

Patton sniffled, letting a happy tear slide down his cheek. “I’d like that a lot. Thank you.” He didn’t fully believe his Fairy Godfather, but for now, he would let himself hope.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

@itawalrus @arodynamic-enby @whatishappeningrightnow @idont-freaking-know @cute-and-angsty-prince @girl-who-reads @count-woe-laf @im-an-anxious-wreck @shadowylemon @stopthe-presses @the-sympathetic-villain @echo-goes-aaa @everythingisstardust

[saturatedsinset]

for the username association game unfortunately the real answer is still warm blood (feels good) because most of your other fics get called by their working title in my head. but the fic i would most like to know about is [ao3 search break for the nick kink fic] hanging on the edge of nothing so y’know do either

almost all of my fics still get called by their working titles in my head because i'm So Bad at titles also most of my titles are simply too long for my idiot brain to hang onto. warm blood's working title was "hangman awakened" so that's a fun little tidbit

i guess warm blood spoilers under the cut? spoilers for the fic i wrote? weird thing to think might warrant a read more

i think i've told you this before but my original planned ending for warm blood was to have adam text matt, rather than nick, that he's in love with kenny, and rather than friendly concern it would just be Furious Jealousy because matt's like that. it didn't make it there because the fic was already 20k long but i still think it would be a fun sequel thing where adam doesn't know why matt's being weird around him all of a sudden and nick's trying to send signals of "it's matt being a freak don't worry" and kenny's just comfortably oblivious to all of it and also adam and kenny do in fact start dating because we love one-winged cowboy in this house. the problem is that this scene/fic/sequel/whatever would Also end up being like 8k but like. it might happen. one of these days.

nick kink fic was not planned even a little bit - my original plan was in fact only three chapters long (nick does kink, nick talks to matt, nick talks to mox) until i thought through it and realised that i didn't think it would feel complete without at least the attempt at a resolution with kenny. i think the skeu is fun because kenny is So Oblivious to most of it, like, he's just having a good time (or a bad time. depending on his mental health) scening with his friends and he's mostly unaware of the interpersonal drama there but i think there could be something fun in the first conflict kenny picks up on being. matt and nick are fighting. obviously he's not going to connect it to the doing-kink without prompting but that's why we have people like mox. i also think the monday post-nick kink with kenny and mox and kenny being like "nick's acting weird. also we had sex" and mox being like "do you. think. those two things are related maybe." would be very funny but i don't intend to write it