#guess i needed to vent a bit
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clonedchaos · 4 months ago
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Welp, as I was googling some images for Yasammy week, I came across a thread and turns out one of my favorite Jurassic YouTubers is homophobic and a Yasammy hater…
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(More ranting in the tags)
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puppyeared · 1 year ago
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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kinos-fortress-2 · 1 year ago
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idk comfort characters moment ig
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tooquirkytolose · 1 year ago
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I bitch about my job a lot-as is my right, and I SHOULD get paid more, but all in all I don't really mind my work? Like I genuinely enjoy what it is that I do, and it's not like I'm ashamed of what I do BUT I've just learned over time to be apprehensive when I tell someone oh I work at a grocery store to expect, in REAL TIME, this person hold less respect for me. It's happened often enough that I just dislike the question like they go oh ok let me just reevaluate how I treat you real quick, which is not good :)
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rapidhighway · 8 months ago
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every time I come back home I experience new mental illnesses -_-
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babacontainsmultitudes · 10 months ago
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80 or so years of life really ain't enough can I have an elf lifespan instead please? Or at least a dwarf's... I need at least a couple hundred years... Oh and a new spine every 5 or so years, if that's not too much to ask. 3. 3 years actually. Yeah, a new spine every 2 years, and a lifespan of 350-750 years, that's all I want really.
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nicmares404 · 10 months ago
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Bruh, this is the third time i've been sick in the last 2 months. Viruses have to actually be targeting me at this point, cause this is just ridiculous (⊙_◎)
Like yeah I have a weaker immune system, but I'm literally not even going anywhere! I guess whatever traces my sister brings home from school (she's in HS) is enough. To make matters worse, my toddler brother is about to start pre-school. I sense so many more illnesses in my future O| ̄|_
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bananararama · 4 months ago
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Finally told my one (1) anti friend I'm proship now. I can post my OCs In Peace....
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numbknee · 2 years ago
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this isn’t a new hot take of mine but it still blows my MIND that I’m in the minority in the kyman fandom when it comes to thinking of Kyle as a dom/top and Cartman as a sub/bottom. From what I’ve heard from veteran kymans the fandom barely had ANY sub Cartman truthers in its earlier years, and dom Cartman is still extremely popular to this day. There's so much art/fics where Kyle is like... a pain slut (????) or gagging for Cartman’s giant dick (?????????) but any time I see that stuff I get a visceral, skin-crawling HELL FUCKING NO 😬😬😬 reaction and have to back out immediately.
A mutual once told me something like “I can’t write Cartman as a dom, I think I’d break out in hives or something” and that’s p much exactly how I feel lmao 😆
y'all do you ig, but it's not my cup of tea at all.
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phagodyke · 25 days ago
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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lannisterdaddyissues · 4 months ago
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my phone is poisoning me i need to put it down
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earthmoonlotus · 5 months ago
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:/
#that vaginismus post got me feeling all fucked up tbh#and this is nothing against op. i have no issues with op here and i don't think they did anything wrong.#they were just sharing their own experience#but it's hard when you kinda feel like a freak of nature a little bit#like I've had people straight-up not believe me when I've told them nothing can go in my vagina (and it's almost like I don't have one)#so it was nice to read a post from someone with a similar experience in that regard#but like...again. nothing against op at all.#but it got me really triggered. just thinking at all about 'treatments' for it#like thinking about the idea that I'm supposedly not having sex 'correctly' because I can't have anything inside my vagina#(even though I have a lot of sex that I and my partners really enjoy)#and thinking about doctors and just...any framing of it as something that's not normal and would need to be 'treated'#while also at the same time knowing my inability to get a pap smear might be a genuine medical issue#but it just gets me so triggered to think about it#I'm sure all my weird gender stuff isn't helping either#though my vaginismus has been present long before I had any *idea* that I might not be cis#I'm sorry I'm venting. It's just hard I guess#like it doesn't feel like anything is wrong with me but it's hard to live in a world that assumes there must be#or that assumes people like me just don't exist and everyone with a pussy wants to and can be penetrated#personal#vaginismus
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healerelowen · 5 months ago
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i
hurt myself accidentally
swing broke and it was a blur
next thing I knew I was on my back
I couldn’t breathe and I was crawling around begging for help
neighbors heard me and helped me up
i’m in my bed right now and my back is killing me
it’s not broken it just hurts
hooray for more trauma ig/n srs/s
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once-in-a-half-life · 19 hours ago
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ouuughg I'm trying to open up more and talk more about stuff here (since this is MY blog and I can do what I want) but i also want to interact with people around here more bc it can be fun sometimes ... but good god is it scary. it's like I have to fight myself every time v.v
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maudiemoods · 1 year ago
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What If I gave up on art 😎?
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sysig · 8 months ago
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Let’s put it all on the line, see who’s victorious (Patreon)
#Doodles#Just Desserts#Villainsona#IRL vent stuff in the tags be warned#I've mentioned offhand that Kaiein is inspired by various sources but overall mostly on one person#And I've been very low contact with that person for years now - but I'm going to meet with them in the near future#I'm nervous as you can imagine haha#But I'd like it infinitely more to have to change Kaiein than to have him reinforced so I'm trying to feel hopeful as well#Either way I'm prepared. Either I get to do some rewriting or I have a very well-worn established outlet#Haha - it's a bit funny actually since there's no one-to-one translation but there is a kind of asymmetrical equivalence going on here#I pretty much never include my family in my sonas' stories - which is double funny since I love being an older sibling so much lol#That aspect rarely makes it into my sonas! I guess I feel like it's not my place to make characters for my loved ones lol#But IRL they're my support system <3 I'm in good hands and I trust them to have my back with what I need to face#And Charm has her wings! The Staff! She has something to rely on that make her more capable and confident!#It's not The Same Thing but it's how it feels ♥ The power of love and friendship!! It makes me stronger!!#And that's what makes the difference between Charm as a villain and a Hero :)#I used her TVAU outfit here - or one of the temps anyway :P - but honestly this is probably how S2 would go down hehe <3#You're no match for Charm when she knows she's loved!! She'll fight you to full defeat!#I wonder how he'd react#Guess I'll find out real soon#Wish me luck
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