#guess I'll still use his tag
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So like, breaking down dissociative barriers. Increasing communication. All good things, right? But how do you even do that?
Turns our "breaking down barriers" is completely the wrong way to go about that. I've been trying to take a metaphorical hammer to these fucking walls and instead of them coming down they just keep reinforcing themselves.
But, surprise! It's not a fucking wall and that's why hammering away has done jack fucking shit all. No, it's an ocean wave, and I'm supposed to just sit still and let the tide wash over me and engulf me from head to toe.
God, we really need to rethink how we talk about our experiences and stuff with each other. No wonder some people struggle so hard with understanding how to actually work together with the other alters in their system, or integrating aspects of themselves with each other. Most people tend to use the same few phrases that get passed around the community, which helps ease communication when we all know the basics of what we're talking about, but god does it really stifle the discussions we can have sharing what those experiences are actually like on an individual level.
Anyways I'm gonna stop thinking of working on internal communication and integration as "breaking down dissociative barriers" and instead think of it more as "letting a wave of internal experiences engulf me".
#dissociative identity disorder#did#actually did#actuallydid#did osdd#osddid#cdd#integration#dissociation#by ???#I'm part of Green's subsystem but I'm not the usual Green#guess I'll still use his tag#by green
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i like it when the big dog says fuck
#ffxvi#ifrit#clive rosfield#i guess i'll use both tags?#hi tumblr friendsss i love this big fucking dog#i still haven't finished watching the vods for it yet since twitch muted a decent chunk of the audio#so like... i'm partway through what i think is the last one#this is the last stretch before it ends i'm pretty sure#grrrrr twitch#anyway ifrit has the :3 face which is awesome i love that for him
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i thought their voices made for a pretty interesting combination, so i made a little test thing to show it off
ust by Zoë (@/half-a-head)
#my video lol#my audio lol#i guess it counts as both?? can i really call it cover tho if its so short#oliver vocaloid#根音ネネ#nene nene#machigerita#vocaloid#utau#yeah whatever i guess i'll put tags for organization. asjdngkjfnkjfjdmg i can fix/edit them better later if i decide eeeee#this mix might still have its issues but pls 😭 it was my first time using cakewalk so dont b mean to me#and it wasnt meant to be something super final and polished anyways again this was just a little fun test so ye. idk if ill make a full ver#i also wanted to make a better little video but since it wasnt a full thing and i was running out of time i just made this instead#which i still think is good for these purposes anyways? i do need to practice/experiment more with aviutl#maybe a bit of a morbid song choice for their bdays lmaoo... but HEY IT COULD BE WORSE#(looking at how i drew piko getting his fucking heart ripped out by bestie miki for his bday last year lmao)#and also if youre a vsynth in my computer unfortunately you are doomed to my morbid ass song taste lol i dont make the rules#well. i do. its my computer. and per the rules actually yes sing little fucked up songs for me vsynths... hahahahah...
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everybody claims to be a kashiwagi enjoyer but the only time anyone ever talks about him is to say he's the hottest piece of meat in the series
#this goes for a lot of characters but he's the one i pay the most attention to#this probably isn't even remotely profound to most people who follow me but it really feels like a massive proportion of fandom nowadays#only cares about fanwriting if it's within 1500 words and rated E#there are some notable exceptions of course but fuck there just doesn't seem to be any real feedback on anything anymore#unless it comes from people i share small discord servers with and chat to every day#the number of times i've linked my textual analysis pieces to people who say they're fans of the character it's about#only to get brushed off in favour of the next off-model drawing of him with his balls swanging#it's demoralising#i don't want to be the elitist ''nobody likes him the way i do'' jerk but this is a lot of the reason i haven't been as active on tumblr#on top of me (mostly) running out of games to play then going on holiday and coming back to my steam deck's display not working#(it's still in for repairs)#maybe when i get it back i'll liveblog yakuza 4 but i'm starting to wonder if there's a point in using tumblr#when the only people who engage are people i speak to directly on discord anyway#like why not just cut out the middleman at this point yknow?#well. guess i'll get back to my sawamura ikki rabbit hole#expect arai posting when i get my steam deck back#me#text#kashiwagi osamu#idk lol i don't want to put negative fandom commentary into the character tag but i DO want this to be in the tag on my blog itself#i don't think there's a way to do that anymore
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Hi tumblr, I'm back!
Spent the past month glaring at people in bg3 and it was glorious
#time to do a scroll and fill up my queue again!#I'm also on vacation for a bit and feel the writing bug starting to return which is nice#This has been the longest break I've taken from that in two years and I uh needed it#I guess this is also a “there's going to be a lot of bg3 here from now on too” notice#still not sure what to do about the branding of my fandom accounts#but I like it when people are the entire contents of their brain online so I guess that's me now too hi I have two fandoms now#(and I'll get better at tagging for each/will continue to use the bg3 spoilers tag when relevant)#in that vein:#bg3#valas devir
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you ever see somebody be so objectively wrong about your blorbo that you have to block them on sight
#yes eridan is incel material but there is always one thing keeping him from becoming a 4chan type and that is that he believes those people#to be inherently lesser than him and will not associate with them. you know no matter how bad it gets this mf takes a two hour bubble bath#every night with ten $100 soaps and a custom microfiber towel with his name embroidered on it on cursive#you KNOW he wouldn't be caught dead in the gamer fit. be so forreal#the closest you can possibly get to that while honoring canon would be 2010's hipster and even then he would still make an effort to#differentiate from the Poors#NOBODY UNDERSTANDS HIM LIKE I DO!!!#post#and i guess I'll tag#eridan ampora#fun fact after various (my catchall reblog tag) stim (which ive reblogged several hundred of) post (my post tag) and fave (my favorites tag)#eridan ampora is my fifth most used tag. i love them like a child
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I get using no specific iteration of the TMNT in a crossover and just making yet another new version. After all, the franchise has had many, many different versions at this point, so it's easy to accept that this is simply one more to add to the pile.
But Naruto has... one. Just the one. So when all of a sudden characters are written/shown to have expertise that they shouldn't have at the age they're being depicted, it just ends up feeling weird.
I get that fitting things into the Naruto timeline can be a chore. Do it too early, and Sakura is kinda useless. Do it too late, and Sasuke's off murdering people. And if you try to set it after the series, the power levels are seriously gonna be out of whack.
But breaking the only canon that has ever existed for these characters makes them feel like... not the same characters. I might be the only one who cares about this, but it really took me out of the story, to the point where I couldn't help but focus on it. I don't want to be distracted from page one of a silly ninja crossover comic.
#almost as distracting as the weird dialogue given to all the naruto characters i mean wut lol#unsurprisingly i didn't care for how the naruto characters were handled#i went into this issue knowing this would most likely be the case#i am admittedly very harsh on how i judge naruto characterizations pre time jump#ah well#who knows maybe in the end the story will be worth it but at just 4 issues i'm not gonna hold my breath#more specific spoilers below...#i feel like they really should have just left sakura her normal self#if you know her character well enough you could totally pull off a fight between her and raph#he is a brawler and very straightforward but sakura is smart and has excellent chakra control#honestly just use her zaku fight tactics - substitution until you can get a surprise attack#or have her tree climb to get away and attack from range using paper bombs#i'd say she could use clones as a distraction but obviously that's too close to naruto's thing#like you can still make a fight with her work it's not like any of the tmnt were using anything other than taijutsu#but we've already seen covers with naruto using rasengan so i'm guessing she won't be the only one with extra powers#(i know the anime stuck some filler eps in between sasuke waking from his itachi induced coma and his fight with naruto on the roof)#(but those are non-canon and frankly really ruin the flow so i've always hated that they existed even if the kakashi mask one is amusing)#(but if you go by the anime's canon i guess you could technically have naruto knowing rasengan if this story is set then)#also uh sasuke you know you have the sharingan right#why weren't you using it you basically always use it post chuunin exams#though admittedly what the two tomoe sharingan is capable of isn't always clear as sometimes he can see attacks coming#(avoiding gaara's sand ball spikes or seeing haku's fast movement)#and sometimes he can't (like kyuubi naruto at the valley of the end until he gets his third tomoe)#ANYWAY i just really wanted to rant a bit about this thing so uh yeah i ranted XD#not tagging but i suppose it might still come up in searches... ehhhhhh i'll delete the post if i start getting hate or something lol
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Zooble would yell at anyone who is ableist to me <3
#hi posting this from a dollar tree parking lot since I have a few minutes lol#anyway guess who was once again reminded why they never use their cane jn public again? meeeee :3#if I had a nickel for every time someone saw me in a parking lot and decided to try and hit me while I was literally in the middle#of it (like specifically waiting for me to be In the road) I'd have Many nickels#well thrn again I did get chased down by someone with a shopping cart even when i wasn't using my cane (but I was limping so. lol)#but still. could this like stop happening pls#if Zooble were with me they'd gladly yell at whoever it was that tried to hit me with their car#idk should i tag this??#the ableims is only mentioned in the tags but I'll still tag it anyway#ableism tw
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what are pink space adn blue space?
oh ! they're my main two projects; pink space's actual name is A Thousand Stars (Oath, Hid, and Aura belong to this world) and blue space's is Blue Waters Black Skies (Shye and Captain go here) :>> i tag them like that because i didn't want to accidentally end up in fandom tags hfhsh
#just us hi#thanks for the ask !! :D#//pink cuz when i started the project the main palette was All Pink hfhs#and blue because. well. it Is blue hfh--#//oh however i Do end up in aesthetic tags Lmao#the foresight. did not sighten#/also the acronym bwbs. slightly discomforts me HFVB#and ats is a little confusing#pi.e and bl.s just works i guess lol :>#//but yea thanks for askin hfhs !! :D#/i'm gonna go make ~+~+~elote~+~+~ (if we still have mayo lol ?? i didn't think this one through chief i'll be real) so Toodles !! .v./
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*reading a thesis about the evolution of the concept of infinity in China with a large amount of tabs open with diverse articles or word combinations to further look for information, all the while seething, blood boiling* I wish Satoru Gojo would fucking cease to exist
#He's damn lab made I swear. I want to strangle him into inexistence. Brush him away from the realm of reality even in the subset of fiction#Only thing I'm not into are his looks. Like yes. He's handsome. But not my type at all. THANKFULLY#My friend keeps asking if I've kept watching. I'm still halfway through episode eight#But you see this is me enjoying this actually#I'm having a blast#A terrible one because I *am* getting attached to this character well beyond Cantor#And I vehemently don't want that#I can foresee this will be a problem as if I were both in the mess itself and moved on from it#Past and future converge in the present and I'm already there and I'm back there again all the while I'm here#Everything is at the same time and I can see what will be in what is because of the echo of what was#As if reading a reverberation of a sound into the future#I am so mad. So mad#He's lab made. I could eat him like a lollipop. I could strangle him to death.#I can't stop thinking about potentials implications and potential readings that most likely have no meaning nor place in the manga#I can't stop thinking about infinity. Again. Like years ago. And enjoying it. Again. Like years ago#Tipsy on exhilaration. Hazy because of nostalgia. Deeply frustrated by this mix. By all this#The past becoming present again and anticipating an unwanted emotiveness that could only break my ribs and leave me nothing again#Yet I can't stop thinking. I can't stop thinking about infinity and I can't stop thinking about Satoru in specific#but also the potential in the previous Gojos and the potential in Sukuna and it makes me wonder about Gojo's friend‚#wondering about the Continuum‚ wondering about the School of Names and the play on contradictions. And then Cusa#But of course. That's why I'm here. And it's so frustrating I want it all to burn#And I could sing but my blood is boiling and at the same time I want to go back in time#Every criticism I try to make to dismantle the princeling and my fondness for him I end up making work again#Perhaps if I read or watch more I'll be able to make it fail. Perhaps I won't like it as much as I could like it in my mind#Perhaps it will be worse‚ and so safe. I'm still halfway through episode eight. I keep watching on loop. I keep looking for books and papers#I could drink him like fresh water. I can foresee my drowning#Anyway...#I talk too much#Jujutsu Kaisen#I guess I should make a tag for my thoughts while watching/seeing this instead of just using the general tag
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one thing that's just one of my weird little personal wishes, i really wish gandalf used more of his Hobbit style alchemical "magic" in LoTR, he really only uses it for fireworks at the very beginning then he mainly just uses his ring and divine authority
#which it makes sense thematically that he doesn't wield much of his true divine power during the Hobbit but does during LotR#because it's not just a magical “power” to be used.. it's divine autonomy that only has potency in his realm of authority#which his only authority in the mundane realm is as a single man#but in LoTR he is granted high authority over the non-native spirits of middle earth. able to strip saruman of his own and turn wraiths#and even directly contest sauron's influence over the ringbearer granting frodo a moment of free will on amon hen#but in the Hobbit when dealing with goblins and dragons all he can do is wield alchemical tricks accented by his ring's command over flame#thought i expect he commanded far greater power against the necromancer in dol guldur. particularly when following saruman's command#who did already have White authority#standing tall in the spiritual realm.. naught but an old man in the mundane realm. it lends a deeper layer to the imagery of him sitting#alongside aragorn and glorfindel at elrond's banquet... appearing even more kingly to frodo's eyes than the elfstone himself.#because at that table it was the spiritual form that was seated with highest majesty.. rather than worldly influence#though aragorn possessed a spiritual nature approaching even that of elves.. he still appeared a prince next to elders of the First Age#and beyond the First Age even to the timeless dawn of creation itself#even shrouded in Grey.. gandalf dwarfed him#LoTR is a monolith. what a truly rich tapestry of life#tolkien you have far surpassed the anglo saxon chronicler poets you so revered... and woven something that will endure even longer#rest well#oh yeah i was gonna write something about why he didnt use his ring much in the Hobbit too but that'll max out tags#oh yeah i was gonna say something about why he didnt use his ring much in the hobbit but i guess i said enough#I'll max out tags
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me: wakes up and uses my entire photo upload limit immediately
#me#i sure hope i don't feel the need to post any images today#(except maybe what i already uploaded)#if anybody sends me an ask and i don't respond to it today it might be that i'm just waiting until tomorrow where i can use an image#I CAN'T USE MY RUSS GIF EITHER#the one#the hand kiss one#unfair that he gets to kiss his hand#i want to#anyway#i used up my entire limit on the video i giffed yesterday and i didn't even get to upload the whole thing yet#i didn't expect a video for ONE SONG to be too much for the limit#but i guess with so many scene cuts#short scenes means more scenes#SO i was able to upload liiiike 120 gifs then#that's the limit??#i never actually knew what the limit was i'd just upload until it said i can't anymore#why 120 of all numbers#i was only like two gifsets away from being able to upload the whole video#and i didn't even get to the slow/fast versions of things yet#well i'll allow myself to post some today anyway even though i like to have everything uploaded and tagged and done#and in my drafts set to go before i post from it#yesterday i was like 'oh i can just upload this and then still maybe have some of the limit left over for the other video i've been uploadi#ng'#i was WRONG#but tomorrow i will. i. i think. unless i made too many slow/fast versions of things#I'LL STOP TYPING NOW BYE
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"yuri lowell is a manly heterosexual"
yuri lowell:
#DCB Comments#keeping this off my tales blog/out of tags bc i know the heteronormatives will come for me LOL#with their heteronormative v3speria dub (yes the dub actually altered/watered down#his relationship with a man probably bc it was too undertoney for them and western media is allergic to that)#not pictured in this post: the way yuri is used in official artwork with other tales characters#and is often surrounded by men. or the comic of him admitting he's popular with guys#also not pictured: the way yuri's alts for gacha games often feature flynn's color coding#and/or both of their color coding mixed into his outfit or accessories#also not pictured: the way yuri's wedding outfit alt is flynn color coded#also not pictured: the way yuri's bouquet in the other picture of his first outfit on this post#is almost identical to flynn's ''joke weapon'' bouquet of roses in the game#also not pictured: the entire gacha game of rays (that's based off respective game canon). i can't explain that to you in just tags#also yes yuri has a metal corset in that fourth picture. i don't... know many men who wear a corset#and the only other one i know in this franchise is in fact also the other main m/m pairing in the franchise#i also don't know many manly straight men who the character designers dress and style like this#i just want you all to know. if you're looking for a non heteronormative man. yuri has you covered#just maybe not so much in the dub just ignore that LOL. also worth mentioning that#japan gets a L O T of extra yuri material thanks to gachas merch and other official side material#everything in this post is official artwork and the last one is from this year#it's merch up for pre-order for t@lfes so yes they're still playing with his hair LOL#and yes if you ever pick up his game i am here to advertise to you not to play the dub (even tho the text will still sometimes be wrong...)#i am in fact writing giant lengthy posts abt it on my tales blog so i will not explain to you here in these tags#but the dub sapped yuri of so much emotion to make him seem cool and edgy and more of a troll#instead of playful fun and silly and just a dork but who is emotional when it matters#woe is them to let yuri's voice shake with heartbreak when he's worried abt a man!#i bet the localizers didn't even realize the entire opening theme song was abt yuri and another man and their relationship#maybe one day i'll make a fun post with all of flynn's color coding slapped all over yuri#also i BET there's someone out there who will see this and be like ''she's reaching''#yeah i guess the official gacha game is reaching then too with how it treats yuri and flynn the same as the franchise's canon het pairs
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happy MY BIRTHDAY to those who celebrate. and to those who do not, then nonetheless i wish you a happy anniversary of hitler's suicide
#suicide ment#i guess#hitler ment#nazi ment#hitler didnt actually kill himself baby me from 61 years in the future just psychically attacked him and his wife to death. /j#anyways MY BIRTHDAY YAYAY ive been implying it in my other recent posts but i figured itd be fun to make one just 2 announce it!!#genuinely so thankful to have survived this long and have the support of my family members and my new friends...#feels like everythings been going my way lately so ive been strangely cheery. hope i dont get too used to it LOL#highschool and nearly everyone and everything in it still pisses me off when im there dont get me wrong#but besides that my life feels good rn... im helping make my own birthday cake and im gonna decorate it so pretty.. maybe i'll post pics...#unironically jumping 4 joy and i havent even got my presents yet...!#i love my friends. i love my family. i love my hobbies. i love my interests. i love my girlfriend. and uhh thatz enough of being sappy ^^;#speaking of my girlfriend she made that gif of me in the center of that moodboard and i love it so much shes awesome#you should all follow her her username is gleamingagitator#do you guys like the picsart edit i made for this its pretty good#evilmartin430.txt#kindof. i dont rlly wanna put it in art tag ^^;
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I finished Rebecca and what
#Haunting of Hill House: what (positive)#Rebecca: what (derogatory)#actually 90% of the book was good but she really flopped with that ending#it just gave 'yeah I got bored writing this after the Big Reveal so I'm just gonna end it abruptly and in an unsatisfying way. thanks'#I'll be honest the book could have ended with the court scene and lost nothing#the last 50 page Random Blackmail Plot didn't need to be in there at all#it really added nothing and just dragged things out for no reason. he already got away with murder#I would have just left the book on the uneasy 'he got away with murder and now we have to live with that the rest of our lives' bit#rather than... whatever the hell THAT was#it was supposed to Absolve them I guess but it really didn't? they're still a pair of murderers who used their wealth for Evil in the end#(or one murderer and his abetting wife)#like git gud. bite the bullet Daphne. let them be fucked up a little.#lmk if I need to tag spoilers but the book IS 80 years old
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Why the fuck you lyin'?
Why you always lyin'?
Hmmmmm Oh my god
Stop fucking lying!
#ensemble stars#midori takamine#ensemble stars spoilers#enstars spoilers#does this technically count as spoilers even though this came out many years ago for the original game???#I mean from what I can find I guess some folks haven't read the original game's stories and stuff so maybe??? I'll tag it just to be safe#yes OBVIOUSLY the first pic comes from before midori grows and spends enough time with everyone to realize how much he cares#but just go with it for the sake of the joke!!! do people even still use the why the fuck you lying meme anymore? am i behind the times?#anyways I LOVE the idea of midori spending months going 'this super sentai idol thing sucks I hate my life'#only to one day wake up and realize he now loves this so called stupid fucking super sentai themed idol group with all his heart#midori upon realizing this: ........god fucking dammit#I don't say this much but a really favorite trope of mine is 'person who was forced to/accidentally ended up joining a group'#'very blatant about how much they don't wanna be here and wanna leave and really don't come across as someone that devoted'#'only to eventually be revealed to have slowly grown to adore the group and want what's best for it despite not being that open about it'#so of course I was gonna become attached to midori...then again I love all of ryuseitai#but of course my sweetheart chiaki is my actual number one of both ryuseitai and enstars as a whole 😊
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