#i feel like they really should have just left sakura her normal self

[gwydionae]

I get using no specific iteration of the TMNT in a crossover and just making yet another new version. After all, the franchise has had many, many different versions at this point, so it's easy to accept that this is simply one more to add to the pile.

But Naruto has... one. Just the one. So when all of a sudden characters are written/shown to have expertise that they shouldn't have at the age they're being depicted, it just ends up feeling weird.

I get that fitting things into the Naruto timeline can be a chore. Do it too early, and Sakura is kinda useless. Do it too late, and Sasuke's off murdering people. And if you try to set it after the series, the power levels are seriously gonna be out of whack.

But breaking the only canon that has ever existed for these characters makes them feel like... not the same characters. I might be the only one who cares about this, but it really took me out of the story, to the point where I couldn't help but focus on it. I don't want to be distracted from page one of a silly ninja crossover comic.

[yakiniku-nante-daikirai]

From Feud to Mutual Respect: The Truth Behind Morning Musume '24's DaaSaku

Ishida Ayumi, a key figure in leading the group on the dance front since 2011, will graduate this winter. We spoke with her and her "business partner" Oda Sakura, who has dedicated more time to envisioning Morning Musume's future than anyone else. They shared the truth behind the "DaaSaku feud" and their current relationship.

We Weren’t on Bad Terms, We Simply Didn’t Vibe – Reflecting on Our Past Behaviour

— Before Ishida-san graduates, I’d like to hear the truth behind your so-called feud. Do you remember since when this became a hot topic among fans?

Oda: If we were actually on bad terms we wouldn’t talk about it publicly. So this started coming up around when our relationship had improved to a point already, right?

Ishida: Right. Michishige (Sayumi, graduated in 2014)-san teased us and it became a thing around 2013 or 2014, I think?

— Were you actually on bad terms?

Oda: It was more that Ishida-san didn’t enjoy being around me. I didn’t realize at all. (laughs)

Ishida: Oda hugged me from behind on the very day she joined! The way she tried to get close to me so quickly was just…. no. (laughs) Also, I wasn’t a fan of her overconfidence. It’s great to be self-assured and I understand now that it was a defense mechanism for a young girl joining all by herself, but back then, Oda was… not prickly, but a bit off-kilter, you know?  (laughs)

Oda: I was terribly difficult with nothing but blind confidence! Aside from Michishige-san, my seniors weren’t significantly more experienced or join that much earlier than me. I wanted to race ahead and beat them. I was incredibly proud whenever I got a singing line or was picked for a dance part, thinking that I was a special chosen one. I must’ve been so hard to work with, so I think your reaction to me was normal, Ishida-san. It made me realize how Suzuki Kanon-san (graduated in 2016), who took time to befriend me, is a very tolerant person of incredible character.

— When did this relationship begin to change?

Ishida: When I wasn’t able to hide in my actions that I wasn't fond of her. The other members picked up on it and started gossiping. (laughs) It got to the point where whenever we got paired up, they would heckle us and I’d shoot back with “this sucks!” It worked as entertainment hugely thanks to Harunan (Iikubo Haruna, graduated in 2018), Michishige-san, and our manager at the time.

Oda: The adults must’ve thought this was a dumb kids’ squabble. (laughs)

Ishida: It really became a bit when the staff forced us to go on a trip to a matchmaking shrine in Kyoto for content. I really didn’t want to do it. Oda, you probably didn’t want to go with someone who kept complaining too huh? (laughs)

Oda:  I was thinking “Ishida-san won’t be thrilled about this. How should I approach her?” (laughs)

Ishida: Thinking back, I’m sorry to Oda’s fans. It’s hurtful to have someone continually say they don’t like the girl you do like, and there have been instances where the jokes didn’t land and were just plain mean. I feel terrible about that.

Oda: Just saying our unfiltered thoughts out loud wasn’t necessarily funny. I remember the two of us had discussions on how we should interact with each other before doing so in front of others.

— These days we simply see you as great partners. Did anything specific trigger this big change?

Ishida: My gen mates graduating was a big one. The only person left with similar experiences and motivation levels as me was Oda, so I started sharing a lot of my thoughts on performance and stage with her.

Oda: It’d be things like “I’m thinking of using this topic in an MC, what do you think of the setup and flow?” We talked a lot about stuff related to public performance.

— Sounds like you’re great business partners!

Ishida: Yes, we are.

Oda: But I hope people don’t take that term negatively. (laughs) It doesn’t have to do with being close or not – it’s simply important to have people you work with who run at similar wavelengths and motivation levels.

Ishida: Agreed. There’s only so much one person can do.

Oda: Exactly. That’s why I think if either of us ever lost passion, that’d be the end of our relationship.

— What do you think your relationship is going to be like after graduation?

Ishida: Graduated members’ perspectives change once they get some distance from the group. They become kinder and say things like “oh, I’ve been there.” And I get why it happens, but that’s strictly not allowed between us. (laughs) Oda said to me, “Ishida-san, if you start talking to me like that, we’re over.”

Oda: (laughs) Of course! After everything we’d been through with our shared passion, I’d hate for you to start going “oh, I remember those days!” I’d never forgive you. Even after graduation, I need you to stay as connected to the frontlines as possible to keep your fire burning. (laughs) But from now on I’m sure there’s going to be many moments where I wonder, “what would Ishida-san think?” or “what would Ishida-san do?”

Ishida: Lately you’ve been making an effort to speak your mind, haven’t you?

Oda: I have. I really want to be even more precise and specific in communicating, but I can’t do it as well as you…

Ishida: Finding the best way to convey our thoughts is tricky.

Oda: Yes. There are some things people can’t change unless they make the realization themselves. I end up talking to you about it, Ishida-san, because you get how frustrating that can be to watch. Lately Makino (Maria) has been feeling the same, so we’ve been having a lot of these conversations together.

Ishida: If we were younger we wouldn’t be thinking or worrying this much. We’re also gaining experience you can only get from having done this for so long, though.

The Embodiment of Ambition – What You Respect About Each Other

— You’ve worked together for so long now. What’s something that you think is truly amazing about each other?

Oda: So many things! She’s been our best dancer for so long but never lets it get to her head and still practices the most. She even went back to dance school to better grasp the fundamentals. How she’s never complacent feels very Morning Musume to me. You’ve still been trying to improve your singing as well, right?

Ishida: Honestly it’s really frustrating! People have different tastes on dancing so how good someone is can be subjective. But if your singing is off-key, that’s taken as a clear mistake. For as long as I’m in Morning Musume, I have to keep that in mind and keep striving for better.

Oda: How you’ve pushed through 13 years with that mindset is really cool. You’re very simply a wonderful person, and so those who gather around you are great people too. I don’t think very many people are still this pure and passionate after being in entertainment for 13 years.

Ishida: At some point I made a conscious effort to improve as a person, so it makes me really happy when people acknowledge who I am now. But what makes me happiest is when people around me are complimented as well! Speaking of which, I get the sense our juniors naturally adore you. The way you get closer to people didn’t work with me (laughs) but a from a junior’s perspective, a senior willing to stick around and give advice freely must make them so happy. Oda, you don’t even seem to be doing it consciously.

Oda: Yeah, I just hang around because I enjoy watching them and have the time. (laughs)

Ishida: But that’s wonderful. After I announced my graduation, Oda immediately sensed the impending danger and told the others “we’re losing our best dancer!” (laughs) She also takes the lead in rehearsals to come over and ask me for help, saying stuff like “I can’t make this part look cool, can you teach me?”

Oda: I bug you the most out of everyone. (laughs)

Ishida: To be aware and conscious of that is very Morning Musume and makes me happy.

— You’ve both been supporting the group’s song and dance for many years. Which song do you think is the other’s best performance?

Oda: All of her performances are incredible but I think the true brilliance is in Ishida-san herself when she’s on stage. Even if others let out a similar energy in the moment, Ishida-san's enthusiasm and accumulated experience shrines through. The way she hypes up the crowd or even the unscripted moments when she’s just standing there are so captivating. It’s as they say: brilliance wasn’t built up in a day. [Note: this is the title of a Michishige Sayumi song, which itself is a play on the idiom “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”]

Ishida: What immediately came to mind is HOW DO YOU LIKE JAPAN? ~Nihon wa Donna Kanji Dekka?~. I took on the parts of rapping and hyping up the audience after Niigaki Risa-san graduated. Initially I was paired with Sayashi (Riho)-san, then Fukumura (Mizuki)-san, and since this year I’ve been with Oda. I’ve been with Fukumura-san on this song for so long I wondered if it would feel off, but I was just shocked by how incredible Oda’s singing is. (laughs) You can add inflections even in a hype song like this? In our first performance together I remember being wowed by how different and amazing it sounded. It was fascinating. She’s an incredibly reliable partner.

Oda: That makes me happy, thank you. But I worry about that song after your graduation, Ishida-san. What are we going to do without you?

Ishida: Exactly what I wanted to hear! That’s the kind of vigour I’ve been going into this tour with - until I graduate, I want to make everyone think that for every song I perform.

Still a Mystery After Over a Decade – Something You Don’t Understand About The Other

— Is there anything about each other that you think is still a mystery after all this time?

Ishida: It's a fine line between amazing and not, but Oda is incredibly knowledgeable about a lot of things. I always wonder “where did you learn that and when would you ever need to use it?” But your wide breadth of knowledge is exactly why you're able to have engaging conversations with anyone and everyone.

Oda: From my end, something that’s really mysterious about Ishida-san is how she seems to care a lot about appearances, yet she’ll come to the concert venue looking like she just woke up. In the winter she’ll be wearing a nice jacket with some ancient tracksuit underneath. So you don’t care about those moments!? (laughs)

Ishida: I only care about the surface level things because I’m lazy. (laughs)

Oda: I’ve got one more: she’ll tell the members we shouldn’t use smartphone cases that could give away our identity, but turn around and use a transparent one with a sticker of her name and a polaroid she took with (Yamazaki) Mei-chan tucked in between. The polaroid even says “To Ishida-san” on it.

Ishida: Maybe someone seeing that will think the phone belongs to a fan of mine? (laughs)

Oda: Your fans wouldn’t have a polaroid that says “To Ishida-san” on it. I can concede on the sticker, but please at least use a nameless polaroid!

Ishida: Ehh…. Maybe I should put a picture of you to avoid detection then? (laughs)

Oda: That would be shocking in its own way. (laughs)

Originally published in ENTAME January 2025: Amazon.co.jp, CDJapan

[maoam]

WHY HINATA IS NOT A GOOD CHARACTER

INTRODUCTION

I wanted to take a deeper look at Hinata’s character, considering there are a lot of claims about her out there, that she’s strong, that she’s kind, that she’s complex and relatable, that she’s the perfect woman and that she’s at least better than Sakura. I don’t really think so, and I’ll explain why. I’ll be focusing on canon, so no fillers or novels will be included in this post. I’ll say this as a warning, if you’re a fan of her character this probably won’t be something you’ll like. This will be tagged with the anti tags and put under read more so please do not complain if tumblr somehow puts this in the normal tags, it is not intentional. Also Sakura stans please don’t write lengthy comments about Sakura under this, I’m not a fan of her either and I’ll write about her later. Make your own post instead.

”HINATA IS STRONG AND THE BEST KUNOICHI”

Hinata is generally really bad as a shinobi and I’m not sure where the claims that she is strong come from. Hinata's entire character revolves around her being weak. This could have been fine if she actually developed, or if she found some other area for herself, yet she's mediocre at best and a waste of panels at worst, because she never becomes good or strong at anything. She’s not only physically weak from start to finish, but she’s also the equivalent of a damsel in distress. Everytime Hinata attempts to do something, she ends up failing, getting beaten up and having to be saved. She lost to her sister who is five years younger than her, which is what marked her as a failure in her clan. She tried to fight Neji in the chunin exams and ended up coughing up blood and losing her consciousness, and Naruto had to beat Neji for her. After Kabuto heals her fully, she spends the rest of part 1 either sleeping or missing in action. Very underwhelming.

If this had been only the beginning, it would have maybe been fine, but it’s a reoccuring pattern with her character. She throws herself in front of Pain, managing to do nothing but get one-paneled and almost killed. Even at the start of the war she had to be saved by Naruto. She tried to run to Naruto and tripped over a rock. Actually, she’s so weak she got Neji killed, when he had to jump in front of her so she wouldn’t get impaled. Why is she even in the front lines when she can’t fight? Even in Naruto the Last movie she had to be saved multiple times. In Boruto the movie she is still useless and reckless, leaving her daughter’s side to help Naruto, ending up defeated and having to be healed by Sakura once again.

I can’t say she’s mentally strong either. She has the personality of someone who hates conflict and tries to avoid it as best as they can, to the point of agreeing with others on everything, as Neji pointed out. Even without him saying it out loud, most of Hinata’s moments that aren’t her thinking about Naruto are her doing exactly this. This is not the personality of someone who is strong mentally. It’s the personality of someone who is too weak to have their own mind, someone who will go with the flow and is easily led and convinced. It can be dangerous the more you think about it. Hinata is also the bystander who never stands up for Naruto despite liking and admiring him. If she’s a compassionate girl, why isn’t she showing this by reaching out to Naruto and befriending him? Why doesn’t she show he’s not alone? Why is she only drawing inspiration from him? I don’t normally watch fillers, but there was one filler scene unrelated to Hinata where this girl says if you only look at the loser and do nothing, you aren’t much better than the oppressors, which probably wasn’t meant to be a call out for Hinata, but ended up being so anyway. Another thing that’s annoying is how she is berating herself often, yet doing nothing, it comes off as self-pity. Even in the Last movie, she is talking about how she must be a bad sister for knitting a scarf when her sister is in danger. Then why are you doing it and not stopping? Of course everytime this happens Naruto must cheer her up because she just can’t stop moping around and doing something herself.

Aside from all this, from the very beginning Hinata’s honor needed to be defended by Naruto because she couldn’t stand up for herself. Of course, after Naruto’s words she did stood up for a moment, and that was good, but it should have been a wake up call which altered her course. Instead, she kept doing the same she always did. If we take the Last movie into consideration, she’s still not strong enough to do anything even about her crush on Naruto. She needs genjutsu and Sakura to do the work for her. So even when it comes to the only thing she cares about 90 % of the time, which is Naruto-kun, she can’t do anything about it. That’s really sad.

”HINATA IS KIND AND SELFLESS”

There’s one mistake I see people make often, and that’s assuming characters that are quiet and shy are automatically kind. I wouldn’t say Hinata is as kind as the fandom makes her out to be. She simply comes off that way because you don’t really see her have her own opinions or disagree with the other characters. Hinata’s shyness on the other hand is most of the time a fetishized quirk to appeal to certain subset of fans. Her shyness doesn’t stop her from taking exams or hanging around Shino and Kiba, or talking to characters other than Naruto. She also has enough attitude to rub Neji’s status as a house slave in his face during their match, but because she stutters Naruto-kun every five minutes she’s supposedly kind. Kindness is shown through actions, not through standing around and stuttering. For comparison, we see Ino befriend an unpopular kid like Sakura, and give her confidence. That’s an act of kindness. Did Hinata ever cared about helping the branch members in any way? No.

She's supposedly "kind" but like I mentioned before she never shows this kindness by standing up for Naruto, or reaching out to him. She simply stares at him behind a tree and draws inspiration from his suffering. The only time she can actually stand up is to selfishly confess her love and die. She even said she felt like being selfish, and like I said she knew there was nothing she could do, she was told she’d only be in the way. She came there only to confess and commit suicide. This actually reminds me of another anime where this female character, after being unable to receive a male character’s love killed herself in front of him and said ”now you’ll never forget me”.

In the end, she cares about nothing but her own hormonal urges. Hinata tried to help Naruto cheat to pass an exam at the risk of disqualifying her whole team. This is the first individual action we see her character take. Did she consider Shino and Kiba during that moment? No, she didn’t even have an inner conflict on whether she should do this, whether it’s right towards her teammates. Even Naruto considers he might get Hinata, Sasuke and Sakura all in trouble if he accepts Hinata’s offer, which is why he doesn’t do it. Then when Hinata wonders if she can cheer for Naruto during his and Kiba’s match, she thinks Kiba might get mad. It’s more about how Kiba views her rather than whether she should cheer for Kiba because they are in the same team and should support each other. During the Pain attack, she left an injured shinobi, who couldn’t move, to go to Naruto, even when said shinobi told her she would only be in Naruto’s way. She didn’t try to save people, she simply wanted to confess and act in front of Naruto. This is about a threat to the entire village, which includes her comrades and her sister and she’s thinking only about her romantic feelings towards a guy she had maybe two conversations with and who barely remembers she exists. How is she better than Sakura? War arc really was the icing on the cake that Hinata’s character is only about Naruto. We should not forget the infamous ”Naruto-kun’s hand is so big… so manly...” is that really the right time to be thirsty? When Neji just died? Shikamaru mentions that he could help out Naruto as a right-hand man and then Hinata thinks “I-I want to be by Naruto-kun’s side too.” Then there’s of course the scene where she starts running to Naruto, leaving her post and teammates, even when Naruto is a mile away and already in the hands of medical ninjas, and even that ends up her pathetically tripping over a rock. Kiba has to remind her to use her byakugan because she is too busy gushing about Naruto. Eventually her only last line is “Naruto-kun”, when everyone is put into IT. It’s like a parody by this point. She doesn’t have any concern for her sister, her father, her teammates, Kurenai or her baby. It’s just “Naruto-kun” like it always is. Even in the Last movie, she is knitting a scarf for Naruto during the mission where they’re supposed to save her sister. Who brings a scarf on a mission? Why is she thinking about her romantic gift to Naruto so much she has to take it with her on a mission which focus is saving her sister? She even looks more devastated when Toneri tores the scarf apart than she ever does for Hanabi’s sake. It’s just silly and selfish.

”HINATA IS A COMPLEX CHARACTER”

Is she complex though? Her development goes from standing behind a tree looking at her crush she never talks to, to committing suicide for feelings that could never be reciprocated, to… waiting that a genjutsu and Sakura guilt trip Naruto enough for him to be with her? Like I already mentioned her character revolves entirely around Naruto, she has no hobbies or interests we know of aside from him. She has no motivations aside from being by Naruto’s side. She once had an interesting goal and backstory, but that was never fully explored, and it turned into her wanting Naruto’s attention and thinking about him. Her clan plot was irrelevant, she showed no interest in wanting to be a leader or even wanting to make things better for the branch members. It’s funny because immediately after the ending, no one cared about the Hyuuga branch and how the storyline was dropped and had no resolution. It was only when Hinata was being attacked for not showing to care did her fans start to over-analyze all the panels looking for the tiniest little clue that might hint at some changes.

It’s possible to be both shy, anxious and quiet and also to be strong, motivated and have interests and dreams. Hinata is never strong for herself, she’s only strong to be with Naruto, to die for Naruto, to motivate Naruto, to have Naruto look at her even for a moment. All the while Naruto doesn’t pay much attention to her unless she’s literally dying in front of him or she slapped him. Even when a big climax is happening, what’s on her mind is always her romantic feelings and her crush. I saw someone say if she were a male character, and she pulled this pointless sacrifice and theatrical confession in the final fight of an arc, she would’ve been universally mocked. Actually, I think even if it was Sakura who did this instead of Hinata the former would have been mocked, because their stans are unable to see the same flaws in their own fave as they see in the other girl. Naruto is a battle manga, characters are supposed to contribute to the defeat of the villain in some material way. The only reason people praise Hinata for what she did in the Pain arc is because they either pity her or because they’re men who think women killing themselves for a man is great because it boosts their ego.

I also notice many Hinata fans don’t notice the vanity in their own fandom. They call Hinata “princess”, ”heiress”, ”Konoha’s first lady” and draw fanart glorifying these concepts and how it makes Hinata good, because they like the superficial status, what they don’t care is the titles are unearned. I thought Hinata’s appeal was that she’s the underdog and a loser? Or maybe her real appeal is the idea of getting everything you want without doing much in order to get it?  Another claim is that Hinata is the perfect woman, which you might see from men. This is what I might dislike the most. Men judge Hinata’s worth and whether she’s a good character based on what kind of woman they want and think is the right kind of woman. Hinata has big breasts, she’s submissive, she has no other interests than the man she likes, and she’s the only girl in her class who didn’t go for the popular guy. Many men hate Sakura, Ino and Karin for being fangirls but praise Hinata for being a fangirl. Basically to them if a character is a fangirl of the wrong guy, she’s a stupid slut. If she fangirls their self insert, she’s wife material and the ideal woman. If Sakura has to be saved, she’s useless. If Hinata tries to kill herself for Naruto, she’s ”so kind”. Rin is a one-dimensional character, but Hinata saying Naruto-kun for the 50th time is depth. Hinata is also claimed to be better than the other girls because she had more kids and thus is more ”fertile”. It’s like feminism never happened and we are back to the 16th century. Why are we judging women’s worth on how many kids they have and how much they can please a man?

I could also talk about how Studio Pierrot turned Hinata into a hentai bait for otakus, which also plays a part in her popularity, but I don’t think it’s necessary, so I will just offer this picture which speaks for itself.

END NOTE

Hinata is simply just a sexist stereotype, a shadow of a real woman, with not much depth, and who is certainly not better than Sakura either. Both of them are fangirls whose characters revolve around men. It’s wild to me how there are women who genuinely act like one must be a misogynist if they reject Hinata’s superficial, one-dimensional and boy crazy character. Her character itself is misogynist for crying out loud. And honestly, what does it say when even the creator himself assumes that Hinata is someone’s favorite character because he must like big boobs?

[deepseamuse]

Some poems I’ve written over the past two years

The Fragile Geisha

I bump into the wooden bookshelf,

And instinctively grab

For the mug at its top, painted with

A scarlet-robed geisha.

The clattering of ceramic skin against oak

Fails to disturb her, and despite the danger

Her eyes remain closed,

Her expression calm.

The arrow she holds pointed towards

The floor that nearly destroyed her.

The same as the last night we drank,

Together,

Of green tea and the moon.

A cheap teapot had whistled, and as I ran,

The old wooden floor

Creaked in complaint.

Despite the chilly autumnal wind, the water

Seemed hotter than normal.

As if it wished to warm

The rest of the aging house as well.

I filled her mug to the brim,

A trickling stream

Scorching ceramic skin

As it mixed with powder and leaves.

And I waited for her to prepare the tea

Under the moon's light.

Deus Ex Machina

Whirring, Ticking

The ancient machine activates

Intent on granting

An old man's dying wish.

“Eternal Prosperity”

Would come at the cost of too many

For mankind to reach!

Set on a path that leads to

Self-destruction,

They’ve forgotten

His first wish, his reason

To bring the machine,

The mechanical god

To life long ago.

To bring a young girl

Who'd perished long ago

Back to her father's side.

Wishing for decades, he forgot

The face of the one who drove him;

If only he knew!

She'd never fallen, and returned

Changed, but alive.

If he would only look in her eyes

One final time,

He’d know his wish was granted...

Unexpected Downpour

I open my mouth, but not a word flows out.

What can I say? How can it be done right?

I’m just not sure.

One thousand words pour through my mind,

But which to choose? And what to ignore?

It’s all too much.

I close, leaving my torrential thoughts behind.

You’ll never know the words I cast aside.

Perhaps I should apologize,

For being too afraid of what could be

And whether you’d understand.

Or perhaps it’s better left unsaid.

The storm within my mind rages on,

And my lovely day is ruined by rain.

Star-Crossed Midnight

The clock ticks on,

Gears turning along,

As moonlight shines through the pane.

And there I sit,

Letting blankets shift,

As I enjoy the ending of day.

The blackened sky

Holds stars snuffed out by lights

From the streets so far below.

How I wish that I could see

That vast tapestry

Of glimmering sparks above;

Those eternal lights

Piercing through twilight

In the forest I once had called home.

But the cold, dark skies

Of this peaceful night

Are everything the city knows.

And as I rest,

It feels like the clock slows.

The Sakura Tree

A thousand flowers bloom,

But each will find their doom,

In one week, countless petals

That shall wilt far too soon.

Blossoms holding tiny lives

That will fade before my eyes,

And I wonder if this really is how

Things are meant to be.

Are all such beautiful things

Destined to merely fade away?

Only my memories keeping them

From disappearing into the gray?

If only I could hold them close

And keep each one alive;

Perhaps by my fervent wish

These blooms may yet cease to die.

But in a way, I suppose

There is a point to all this death;

It is in this fragile artistry

That these flowers are their best.

So I’ll let each life continue on

And someday disappear.

I’ll enjoy their fleeting grace and charm

Until they bloom again next year.

Impulsive Desire

When you’re seventeen, and in love

with that boy you hooked up with last month

who always smiles and laughs at your jokes

no matter how bad they are,

do you really get into

that cheap car your dad bought you

and drive over to that one kid

who says they’ll give you a tattoo?

Do you hand them a quick sketch,

and a couple of names,

and ask for your love to be memorialized

in blood and black ink?

You’re so smitten, at the moment,

you don’t even consider how

in a few years, you’ll be over him

and wishing the oath on your arm could be erased.

And sure, it could. But then

you’d have to think about it:

the words he’d said that night,

and how you’d thought you could devote yourself at seventeen.

History has a way of catching up

no matter what you do;

but such brazen, impulsive acts

keep it from having to move at all.

You fueled your fire with bloodstained ink.

Now, though it’s burnt out, the cinders always remain.

[nulltune]

peony :   what would a   ‘  happy life  ’   look like in your muse’s eyes ?

botanical headcanons,   open !   @tenkoseiensei ♡

(i hope) we all know hakuno's characterized as someone who so desperately wants to live.... but what's a little funny is that i'd say she's someone who's good at surviving, if that makes sense! hard to say that you're living when your life takes place in a simulated world created for a war 🚶‍♂️ and what little we know about hakuno's lifestyle really reflects that. she sleeps for 6 hours and 15 minutes on a hard floor and eats to "nourish her brain" (and i personally have a headcanon that she just eats for the status effects that the food items grants to help in battle) rather than for any enjoyment. those harsh circumstances make her extremely grateful for even being able to see another day, but could you really call that living? i don't think hakuno knows it herself

i'd love to see her get the chance to live a normal life free from any fighting or killing but 😭 WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO HER AT THE ENDD UE UEE

i will say that canon!hakuno definitely has a solid idea of what happiness is, but i'll be talking about my take and my portrayal bere :3c

given hakuno's struggles to even exist nd understand her own feelings, i think it'd make more sense that she wouldn't even know what "happiness" is, and much less a happy life. from what we see in canon, i think that with time she'll naturally and eventually come to the conclusion that her happiness = everyone else's, which sounds pretty simple but it's an interesting mindset to operate on! especially when you factor in all of the other (for lack of better wording) issues that hakuno has.

hakuno genuinely desires what's best for everyone, it's just that she takes it to the extreme level where she's trying to be this perfect ideal because that's the only way she'd feel deserving of anything. not to mention how without any family, friends or purpose in life, that self-imposed duty "for everyone's sake" is the only thing driving her forward. i put it in quotation marks too because there's a part in ccc's true route where sakura asks hakuno what she's fighting for and hakuno herself is not mentioned at all in three options even though pretty much the rest of the cast is :,)

it also hurts just a little because as much as she values unity and working together, it's clear that she's also working on her own agenda to make sure that everyone (herself excluded 🥹) will truly be alright. this is also why i think it'd be sooo neat if they explored more of how alone hakuno is-- how she really is someone who is disconnected from everyone else. she's like an outsider trying to be part of a group that she can't actually be a part of.

i always mention this point too, but she's truly selfless to the most extreme way! selfless to the point where she'd have no self left despite that being the thing she wanted the most; to find herself and to have an identity of her own. she's constantly diminishing her own wants and needs in doing so too which would only add on to this lack of identity. so the reason i bring all of this up is because don't think she'd be able to find happiness this way! and i think that would only confuse her even more beause by her definition of happiness, she should be happy. agjfhsf it's really interesting stuff to think about!!

hakuno's actually really simple though :,) so even if it may take her some (A Lot) of time to figure it out for herself, i think the best thing to bring up here is the picture frame that hakuno got from taiga. it has the description "use it to frame your most precious memory" and she used it to frame a picture of her and her servant 🥺 there's not a dedicated scene to it or anything, it's more like a cute little side thing you can notice but i think it speaks volumes about hakuno's character!! there's a lot of conflict between being selfless/selfish in hakuno's character arc methinks, but in the end i think that's all that truly matters to her :,)

even though her life isn't exactly what you'd imagine a happy life would be, and even if she still doesn't really have understand happiness, she'd consider the life she's lived a happy one because it was a life she got to spend with the people she cared for 🥹🥹 i'm specifically thinking of canon fate/extra here, but yeah ......... she still wanted to live and she definitely would've wanted to be able to spend more time with them, of course, but i think just knowing that they're alive and will be able to continue living on to the future brought her so much happiness even in her last moments /i'm typing thru tears rn tsunnie HAKUNO DESERVES SM I LOVE HER SM

[narutogwriting]

Greetings! It I. Whomever the f*ck that is!

I don't know if anyone's every told you, but your writing is absolute Grade A Quality. And I, as in me, happen to nurse quite the interest for said A Grade writing. Shocking, is it not? Foolish! Of course it is not! Surprising. That is. It IS the best writing afterall! I- Hm... ఠ_ఠ

Okay, I'll stop horsing around, sorry,,,

I have come to make a request if that is alright with you and you do not have too many already!

I recently discovered the song "Heart Attack" by Deni Lovato and would really love a little story with boisterous and playful reader that's had the second longest-standing crush(after Hinata's, cuse, MAN, that girl be the inventor of pinning no jutsu) known to everyone, but Lee, where the crew could be out throwing one of those rare party where a majority of them can be present, eventually ending in a karaoke where the fuzzy warmth of what little alcohol the reader drank gives them the little bit of missing courage(or sensibility) to, just, climb on a table and spill all their feelings, love and frustration into this one song before loudly announcing that This One's For Lee, like a challenge.

If you would have the space/kindness to add the aftermath where the reader immediately sobers up after comfessing and just, absconds through a window, I would be the most grateful gal alive,,, >v<

I'll venmo you a goat.

Okay this was seriously WAY too fun to right Naruto is my one true love but Rock Lee was my first Naruto crush<3

HEART ATTACK

Pairing: Rock Lee x Reader

CW: good old fluff

Length: 3.6+

Summary: Rock Lee has been your not so secret crush for as long as you can remember. You’re determined to take it to your grave, but what happens when you’re drunk at a karaoke bar doesn’t stay at the karaoke bar...

The music was loud, the room was dark, and everyone was there. How long had it last been since everyone was able to get together?

The life of a shinobi was a busy, dangerous one. There was little time for laugh and play, especially as you all got older. It was easier when you’d just graduated from the academy. All of the missions given to new genin were level D to C, little things like gardening or finding lost pets that didn’t take much time or require you to even leave the village. It was easy for everyone to find time to get together and hang out.

But as time passed, things changed. Everyone’s ranks were different, some people like Shikamaru took up more political roles in the village. It was easy to drift apart without even realizing it.

So tonight was one of those rare moments where the stars aligned and the old group was able to get together to hang out.

The venue of choice; a karaoke bar.

It was the first time you were all able to drink together… Well, legally at least.

“Thanks, Kiba.” You giggled, giving him a flirtatious wink as you took the drink he’d just bought you, sipping it. Did you like Kiba? No. But was he fun to flirt with? Absolutely. And if that flirting led to him wanting to buy your drinks for you, well, who were you to deny him?

Kiba was cute; that wasn’t the problem. Heck, most of the guys from the Leaf were cute and way too easy to get along with. You’d known them practically your whole life, grown up together even, but despite all their great qualities, it was only one shinobi who had your heart, and he didn’t even know it. 

The first time you’d seen Lee was before the first test in the Chunin exams. He had easily taken on Naruto and Sasuke without batting an eye. He was so swift, so smooth, you’d watched him in awe. He was a bit eccentric, but had a focus and prowess you’d never experienced before. You thought he was amazing.

You were content to watch him from afar until the preliminaries. During his fight with Gaara, you’d held your breath, watched in horror and amazement as he took on the demon of the sand. You didn’t think you breathed once during that battle.

Lee lost, was almost killed by Gaara before Guy stopped him, but it was the best you’d ever seen someone fight in your life.

Timidly and nervously, you visited Lee in the hospital that day. He was unconscious, but in stable condition. You didn’t know what motivated you, but you began to visit every day, leaving flowers and small treats for Lee to wake up to.

When he finally had woken, you were trying to slink out of the room quietly when you heard him speaking, causing you to freeze in your tracks. 

“Who are you?”

Apprehensively, you turned to face Lee with a small smile. You’d never been shy, but there was something about Lee that made you weak-kneed.

After introducing yourself, you went back to his bedside. “I just wanted to tell you that I think you’re very strong. You’re so skilled and quick; I think you’re the best ninja I’ve ever seen…”

You were only thirteen, didn’t have much experience in the ninja world, so the words you spoke were true. You didn’t know if telling him that, as a total stranger, would make him think you were weird.

Imagine your shock when Lee burst out in happy tears.

It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

You supported Lee in his recovery, and even when he couldn’t go on missions himself, he cheered you on from the sideline.

From the very beginning, it was evident to everyone in the village that you were head-over-heels for Lee. Your quiet bashfulness when Lee was around was a stark contrast to your usual loud and confident self. Everyone knew about your crush.

Everyone except for Lee.

“Why don’t you just tell him?” Tenten asked you once. “You never know.”

But you’d only shaken your head. “He loves Sakura. Everyone knows that.” You told her. “Besides. We’re friends. I don’t want to ruin that friendship.”

So despite your friendliness, your flirtatious nature, and the fact that you could have just about any of the rookie nine wrapped around your finger if you so pleased, you weren’t interested in any of them.

Rock Lee was the only one that had your heart and he didn’t even know it. He never would.

Instead of focusing on that, or the cute way Lee’s cheeks went red after he took a shot, or how Lee spent a lot of time that night talking to Sakura, you took shots with Ino and Tenten and let Kiba buy you drinks and danced with Choji when he asked.

Overall, the night was going great. Everyone was having a good time and getting along and so far only Naruto had gotten just a little too drunk; everyone else was riding a nice buzz.

Shikamaru had just finished a less than enthusiastic rendition of “The Lazy Song” that had left everyone doubled over laughing at the irony. “Who should go next!?” Naruto yelled, looking around to see who still hadn’t sung a song.

And okay, maybe Naruto wasn’t the only one who had drank just a little too much. Watching Lee sit and laugh with Sakura the past hour had left you feeling just a tad bit jealous, leading you to drink more than you normally would. He’d barely said anything to you that, and the two of you were supposed to be friends.

“What’s so good about Sakura anyways? She’s really not that great.” You swished the liquid in your cup, mumbling the words you knew you would regret the next morning. Sakura had never been anything but nice to you; you knew she didn’t deserve to be the target of your jealousy. 

Ino snickered. “Geez you’ve got it bad.” She commented with a roll of her eyes before hearing Naruto’s question. Her eyes lit up, and, grinning, she hurried to the microphone, looking through the book of songs available to sing. She flipped through for a moment or two before turning to Naruto and whispering something to him.

All of this escaped your attention as you were drowning in the misery of your own thoughts before you realized: everyone was chanting your name. You blinked, looking around to see everyone staring at you, pounding on tables and counters as they encouraged you to get up and sing.

Laughing, you shook your head nervously, not wanting to go embarrass yourself before Lee caught your eye. Even he was encouraging you to go up and perform. Well, if he wanted you to, then you would sing your heart out!

You downed two more shots before pushing to your feet, which was an obvious mistake.

The alcohol always hit hardest after you stood up.

“Woah, there.” Tenten laughed, standing to help you. Somehow, you made it to the stage. Naruto snickered as he passed you the microphone. He couldn’t wait to see this.

You held the microphone tightly in your hands as your eyes scanned the room with all your friends staring expectantly at you and cheering you on. You felt good. Really good. Your vision was blurry, head dizzy, stomach warm, and everything about you was giddy. It was your turn, and you were ready to make a statement. 

Glancing at the screen, you saw the name of the song appear. Heart Attack by Demi Lovato.

“I’m gonna dedicate this song to someone very special to me,” You slurred into the microphone, giggling. Your friends in the crowd whooped and cheered as the music began. 

“This one’s for you Lee!”

With that, you closed your eyes to block out the reactions of everyone and everything, and you sang. You sang your little heart out, put on the drunken performance of a lifetime. Your years of pent up feelings and nerves and fears surrounding Lee all went into that song.

As you sang the last word, you opened your eyes again, taking in everyone’s reaction. Glee, surprise, happiness. You were grinning; you’d killed it.

That was when your eyes landed on Lee. It was hard for you to gage his reaction. More than anything he looked… confused. And that was when the weight of what you’d just done settled on you. Oh shit.

You’d all but confessed your feelings for Lee… Drunkenly… In front of everyone.

The realization was all it took for you to sober up. Quickly, you shoved the microphone back into Naruto’s hands and fled the karaoke bar.

You weren’t really sure how you’d even made it home. Everything was kind of blurry. You remember running from the karaoke bar, a girl’s voice, probably Tenten’s, calling after you. You remember vomiting. A lot. That’s actually what you were doing now. You’d woken up with your head basically in the toilet.

You could have gone for some blissful moments where you didn’t remember what had caused you to sprint home from the bar, but alas, you couldn’t forget.

You’d confessed your years long crush through song.

How were you ever going to face Lee again?

You wouldn’t, you decided. You would spend the rest of your life in that house. You could have your groceries delivered, you weren’t going to need new clothes if you never went outside. You would just lay in your bed until you withered away into nothingness.

~

“You can’t stay in here forever,” Tenten rolled her eyes, tugging the blanket that you were hiding under off the bed.

“Watch me,” you whined in reply, holding a pillow over your head. “I totally embarrassed myself! He probably thinks I’m so lame!”

Tenten could only snicker at that. “Lee? Thinking you’re lame? Right.”

It took a bit of convincing, and you were basically kicking and screaming, but Tenten was able to drag you out of your home back into the real world. “No one’s going to care,” She assured you as the two of you walked. “We were all plastered. I’m sure no one will even remember!”

If only that were true. 

“Hey!” Kiba called as he and Naruto approached you and Tenten. “Have you guys seen Lady Tsunade around here? I have this pain in my chest…”

Naruto grabbed Kiba’s arm in mock fear. “Oh no! Kiba, are you having a heart attack!?” 

The two of them doubled over in hysterics; tears were even streaming down their faces. You could feel your face burning red in embarrassment. You’d never wanted to disappear so badly. 

“Beat it you two!” Tenten snapped, grabbing your arm and pulling you away. “Ignore them! They’re idiots!”

Head buried in your hands, you shook your head. “God! How am I ever going to live this down! I’m going home!” You pulled out of Tenten’s grip. “I’m going to move villages, change my name, and make sure Lee never sees my face again!”

“Uh, well, if that’s the case you better run…” Tenten said awkwardly, nudging you. “Because Lee’s coming this way…”

And there he was. In his green jumpsuit, bowlcut and all, Lee was heading straight for you. God you were sure you were going to vomit again.

“Good morning Tenten,” Lee greeted, though nowhere near in his usual upbeat tone. “Would you mind giving us a moment alone?” He asked. Tenten glanced over at you nervously.

“Yeah… Sure Lee…”

~

“I do not understand it, Sakura.” Lee sighed, toying with the drink in his hands as his eyes were locked on you drinking and laughing with Tenten and Ino. “I have never had any issue telling you that I think you are beautiful. But with her… It is different.”

Sakura giggled, feeling the drink in her own veins. “Because, Lee. You like her like her. You should just tell her!” Even drunk, Sakura would never betray your trust by telling Lee the obvious; that you liked him as much as he liked you. But it was infuriating to sit on both sides listening to the two of you cry over your feelings day after day and not tell you!

Lee shook his head, taking a gulp from his drink. “I cannot. I am not like Guy Sensei, as much as I try to be. I am not cool or good looking. I do not think I am smooth. I do not know how to talk to a girl I like.”

It took everything in Sakura not to burst out laughing. Guy Sensei? Cool? Good looking? Smooth?

“This is ridiculous. How much longer do I have to hear about how great you think she is before you finally tell her?!”

Rock Lee could barely hear Sakura; he was zoned in on you. Everything about you entranced Lee from the very first time he saw you trying to sneak out of his hospital room. You were beautiful, of course. Your hair always seemed to fall just right. Your smile brightened up a room. The kindness in your heart radiated from you. He loved how confident and outgoing you were and that you had an energy that could match his.

It wasn’t like Lee hadn’t tried to tell you before. There were plenty of times when it was just the two of you that he was tempted, but he could never get it out. There just weren’t many people that he connected so easily with. Guy Sensei was his idol; he wanted to be just like his sensei! But that wasn’t the same as having a friend. Even with his teammates, there was a level of professionalism to it all--maybe thanks to Neji--that kept him from feeling like he could truly be understood. 

But with you, everything was so easy. Laughing came easily, talking and opening up about the things he struggled with… There was a naturalness to it he’d never experienced before. He was terrified to lose it. 

So that night at the karaoke bar, he sat with Sakura whining about the same thing he had been for months now instead of doing something about it. That wasn’t like Lee at all, but that was what you did to him. You made him so nervous he couldn’t even be him.

He was sure you knew his eyes were locked on you all night, ogling like a total weirdo. He’d barely even talked to you. He had hoped that the alcohol would loosen him up and spur him into action, but he’d just shut down even more, causing him to wallow in his own self pity.

Why couldn’t he be more like Kiba? He was over there, so smooth and cool, grinning and chatting you up and buying you drinks. Lee wanted to be that guy to you!

“Oh, look! She’s gonna sing next!” Sakura nudged Lee, nodding at the stage where you were grasping the microphone. You were clearly inebriated, and the redness in your cheeks just made you look all the cuter to him.

“I’m gonna dedicate this song to someone very special to me!” Lee’s heart dropped into his stomach. He couldn’t even hope that he would be the one that you would devote a song to. So when it was his name that had left your mouth, he sat in there in a state of shock. It wasn’t even dawning on him. Sakura shook his shoulder excitedly as you belt out the lyrics to Heart Attack. 

“Lee, she’s singing to you!” 

It just couldn’t process. Was it the alcohol? Was it the absolute surprise at what was happening? Whatever it was, by the time you had finished, Lee had continued to stare at you, open mouthed. It was only when you’d sprinted out of the bar that Lee had come to his senses.

He’d done his best to follow you, but he was drunker than he thought and had stumbled around just a little too long. By the time he’d gotten himself straightened out, you were long gone.

He’d stayed up all night long thinking about it, thinking about you. 

The whole night, he turned it over and over again in his mind; what else could that have meant other than you liked him back? It was too good to be true! But it was true? Lee drove himself mad.

The goal with his walk wasn’t necessarily to find you. Moreso, he had just wanted to clear his head, maybe get advice from Guy Sensei. But he’d ran into you and Tenten before he could do any of that.

As Tenten gave the two of you space, he stared at you bashfully. The longer the silence went on, the redder his cheeks became. Just as he was getting up the courage to say something, you broke the ice.

“Lee, look. About last night… I’m sorry. That was so embarrassing! I was just so drunk and… I wasn't thinking straight.” You were rambling on nervously, scratching the back of your head and avoiding his gaze, acting like you wanted to laugh the whole thing off. 

Lee nodded slowly, letting your words sink in. So… He had misread the whole thing, then? The thought hit him like a blow to the stomach, taking the breath straight out of him. That sucked. “Right, of course!” He said quickly. “It is okay, really. I had drunk a lot as well!”

How did he get out of here? Lee was tempted to drop the weights from his ankles and take off running as fast as he could.

The discomfort was plain on his face, though. You knew Lee well; you could tell something was wrong.

You had to drop your playful facade. You felt like you’d really screwed things up. “Are… Are you mad at me?” You finally asked him quietly.

The question startled Lee. He frowned, tilting his head. “Why would I be upset with you? You are my friend.” You could only shrug helplessly. You were sad and embarrassed and confused, and now Lee was upset. Of course you thought it was your fault. You didn’t know that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

The silence was heavy, making you sigh and shake your head. “Well, uh, I should go meet up with Tenten again…” You mumbled, staring at the floor. After this, she definitely couldn’t drag you out of your bedroom again.

You lifted your hand, waving goodbye before turning away. You didn’t get more than a step away before Lee was grabbing your arm, his body reacting quicker than his mind. “Wait. Please.”

Of course you stopped, turning back to face him. You were too fearful to be hopeful, unwilling to get excited for something that wouldn’t happen, but you held your breath anyways as you stared up at him.

“I was not completely honest. I am upset, it is just not with you…” When you didn’t respond, only continued to stare at him with those earnest eyes, he had no choice but continue. He dropped your arm, his hand going to nervously rub at the back of his neck instead. He didn’t know how to do this, but he had the feeling it was now or never.

“The truth is, yesterday when you sang that song, and you said you were dedicating it to me, I believed it was because you had feelings for me. So just now, when you said you were not thinking straight, it made me upset because I have feelings for you. I was hoping that you would tell me that you felt the same…”

You didn’t think you’d ever seen Lee so red before. It was like a cartoon, the way it creeped up from his chin all the way to his forehead, shooting up like a thermometer. You could only imagine that you looked the same. Your face felt like it was on fire. 

It took a moment for it all to sink in. There was a pause before it dawned on you; Lee just confessed that he had feelings for you! He liked you! The giddiness sent trembles through you as you broke out into a huge grin that you couldn’t stop.

“Lee, you idiot!” You laughed, smacking his arm. “I do like you! That’s the whole reason I humiliated myself in front of everyone yesterday!”

You know that look that Lee gets when he’s happy? His pupils dilate, glistening like googly eyes. The blush dusts the tops of his cheeks, he even gets a bit teary eyed.

All classic Lee and exactly what you got after your confession.

“I cannot believe it!” He cried, pulling you into a hug and twirling you around without hesitation. Now that he had confirmation about how you felt, any inhibitions he had been harboring were gone just like that. He wasn’t going to waste another moment not showing you exactly how he felt. “I have wanted to tell you for so long! I just did not think you felt the same way! This is fantastic!”

Lee’s enthusiasm was as contagious as ever. It didn’t take long before you were hugging Lee back and laughing along with him. When he finally calmed down, Lee released you, taking your hands in his instead and grinning at you.

“So does this mean you will go on a date with me?”

“Is that you asking me?” You giggled. Lee nodded enthusiastically. “Then yes; of course I will.”

Lee pulled you into another hug. “Would you like to know something?” He questioned, giggling childishly, so of course you nodded. “I almost had a heart attack asking you that question!”

The groan was immediate as you pulled away, smacking your forehead. “Lee!” You whined, cringing in embarrassment. “I am also having a heart attack trying to work up the nerve to do this…” For a guy that was so fast, he moved agonizingly slow as he leaned down to press his lips to yours. A heart attack, huh? Yeah, you were never going to live that down. But if this was the price to pay, well then, you didn’t mind all that much.

[cherrynojutsu]

Title: Like Gold

Summary: Sasuke grapples with love and intimacy regarding his developing relationship with Sakura after returning to the village from his journey of redemption. Kind of a character study on Sasuke handling an intimate relationship after dealing with PTSD and survivor’s guilt in solitude for so long. Blank period, canon-compliant, Sasuke-centric, lots of fluff and pining, slowly becomes a smut fest with feelings.

Disclaimer: I did not write Naruto. This is a fan-made piece solely created for entertainment purposes.

Rating: M (eventual nsfw-ness)

AO3 Link - FF.net Link - includes ending author's notes

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Chapter 8/?: Grasping

Sasuke awakens abruptly, nausea clawing its way out of his throat like a soup of sepsis that’s been left percolating on a stovetop for too long, finally boiling over and soiling everything.

Stomach churning, he tries to aim it at the floor - he’s gotten better at doing that, over the years - but he doesn’t quite succeed. Hot bile, acidic with mostly digested dinner, coats the side of his bedding and part of his sleeve.

He coughs, gagging on acid and torment and hyperventilation. Then his stomach lurches again, and he turns to retch another round at the floor. Part of it floods his nostrils, stinging, and he rasps more.

That triggers another round, after which he waits a minute, sharp coughs punctuating the stillness, familiar at this point with what his stomach’s settling feels like. He shrugs off his shirt once it does, and makes his way to the kitchen, hacking on a foul aftertaste and vomit-inducing visuals flashing before his eyes.

A glance at the clock tells him it’s half past midnight as he gulps water, snorting in a manner very undignified to clear out his nasal passages and soothe the putrid taste overwhelming his insides. Then he chokes more of it down, feeling the beginnings of a pounding headache.

There are times when having a near photographic memory is not a good thing. He is very tired of recalling crackling electricity, of stumbling over body after body with lifeless eyes. Men, women, children, all with charcoal irises like his.

And teammates, with irises decidedly not like his, luster flattened to single dull colors.

And himself, at the end, deranged and dispiteous, standing where Itachi had stood a long time ago, looming over remains as if he himself is the final obstacle to defeat before it just ends, the culminating villain in some fucked up fable. All at once, he’s a child again, gagging on a demented form of truth, left to stew there for years and years and years, rotting him from the inside out.

He's noxious. He knows he is. He wishes he could spit himself out along with partially digested yakitori.

Sasuke takes another sip of water as his vision blurs, trying desperately to focus on the wood grain of the cabinets and not daring to close his eyes, lest another flash snake its way into his ocularity and undo the mild soothing the water is providing. He coughs again, throat raw. Then his mouth starts watering, a telltale sign that he’s going to throw up again, so he walks carefully to the bathroom, bottle in hand and trying not to jostle his stomach more than is necessary. Switching on the light and flipping up the seat of the toilet, he makes it just in time.

This round it’s mostly just water, and it burns a little less. The murky brown color he’s faced with seems very reflective of what he feels inside, ignominy and wretchedness and self-loathing, no substance at all, just a bitter aftertaste of that which was left behind on a wood floor a lifetime ago. There had been saliva then, too, seeping from his mouth to the floor in his cowardice.

He swallows once, a gargantuan effort. Then he takes another sip of water, studying the text on the label to try to distract himself, vile and unsettled as he is.

He doesn’t deserve Sakura, not after what he’s done. When his vision starts to blur again, he can’t read anymore anyway, so he looks at the mangled mess left of his left arm instead.

He deserves that, a maiming to fit the crime. He wishes he were a better man.

Slowly so as not to further disturb his stomach, he lies down sideways, pressing his cheek to the coolness of the floor. He feels disconnected from everything, at a loss for proper coherent thought, a mess of misery sprawled on a tile too clean for his own rancidness.

Nothing matters for a long time. He just stares into nothingness, a mild burning in his throat and eyes on a void of pure white that he doesn’t belong in, thinking about how it matches the skin tone of bodies that have been drained of all their color. It’s like he’s barely there, nothing seeming real except the hollow feeling in his chest and the buzzing sensation tempering the edge of his consciousness, like his brain has been stuffed with cotton but parts of it are burning away to nothing. Everything of substance singes away in a controlled burn, destined to always have gaping holes of meaning scorched away at random wherever the fire takes hold.

He doesn't know if there ever even was anything in the first place, deep down. Maybe corrosion is a terrible metaphor, because what's left, at the end of it? Layers and layers of useless shale and sandstone and limestone, packed atop Precambrian filth that’s been decaying there for what feels like centuries. Or magma, set to burn anything he touches.

Or electrocute it.

XXX

Suddenly it’s hours later, and a bird is chirping outside, twitters resounding through a metaphysical tunnel of distortion. Gradually it shifts into an audio that doesn’t sound quite as echoed, accentuated by light filtering in through the miniscule bathroom window.

This happens, sometimes, the nightmares and the absconding into abeyance where his brain seems to shut off, a resulting loss of significant chunks of time. Not sleeping, just staring at something dully for a while, stuck on the same cycle of repeating thought. The memorial stone is a trigger for it, he thinks. It’s why he dreaded going there, upon his return, although it's complicated. Occasionally, visiting it seems to bring feelings that are almost positive, where it feels like he’s reaching out to reclaim tiny shattered shards of what used to be his heart. Mostly, though, it’s just mourning. The reading of names may be what compels the worst of them; sometimes he thinks if he looks too long, he’ll learn things he doesn’t want to know.

Exhausted, he drags himself to his feet and begins wryly picking up the pieces, chest hurting from heaving. He throws his bedding and his shirt haphazardly into the washing machine, drowning them in soap before he grabs cleaner to do the same to his floors.

It smells disgusting, like it’s been petrifying in his stomach for years. He supposes that makes sense; a lot of things have.

Once the surface is clean, he gets in the shower, not caring that all of the hot water is being used for the laundry; the icy cold helps wake him up. He’s fatigued, lethargic, but he knows better than to try to go back to sleep at this point.

As he fights shivers in the towel afterwards, he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He looks awful. Pale and sickly, repulsive, purple sallow staining his skin the same color as the Rinnegan. His normal eye is bloodshot, vacant charcoal that pollutes everything it touches. He lets the black of his hair shift over his Rinnegan eye in a manner he's well accustomed to by now.

His remaining eye inches to the corner of the mirror, the front of the medicine cabinet.

He carefully procures a cough drop, and then makes sencha tea, hoping the caffeine will dull his headache. There’s a part of him that still feels like he’s hardly there, like he’s a ghost just going through the motions. When he takes a sip, it feels good on the throat, but the vomiting earlier has partially singed away the surface of his tongue; he hardly tastes it.

Sasuke then takes the photo from when they were Genin to the living room, grasping onto it for dear life in more ways than one. He alternates between studying it and gazing out the glass, to the cherry blossom tree across the street.

An hour passes, slowly, sitting there thinking about what he does and doesn’t deserve, a mess of thoughts swirling down the drain of his mind. Then another. The luminescence of the day begins trickling in more, green buds across the street gaining back their pigment.

He’s not sure if he should even go to Sakura’s still, because he feels like he’s going to make even worse company today than he usually does, as tired as he is. But he’s weak, and he selfishly wants her; there’s an equanimity only she can provide, the swingback of a pendulum briefly through a sense of normalcy, and he needs the chance to look into jade eyes, to see the light hit them, to ascertain that the chatoyancy has not been dulled. And she’s not dead, despite his inner psyche screaming at him that she would be, had Naruto or Kakashi arrived just a second later. He needs to thank them for that, when he gets the chance, though the timing has never felt right to bring it up.

And he loves her. He's not sure if his love is worth anything, contemptible as he is, but it’s the main reason he can make sense out of the absolute mess that is his inner thought process this morning. So he goes.

XXX

It helps. He’s enormously exhausted, and the light of day hurts his eyes, even once he’s inside and is only absorbing its rays from the diamond window, but it helps.

“Sasuke-kun,” she greets in a voice like honey as she opens her door to him, dimple on open display. She really is so lovely, multi-faceted jade sparking with life that nearly instantly calms some of his anxiety.

He is briefly concerned about what he looks like to her, today. He checked prior to coming over here, brushing his teeth thrice in the hopes that his breath wouldn’t be bad, that he could drench his innards in enough clarifying mint to be even remotely deserving of a small amount of her affection. His eye was a little less bloodshot at that point, but overall he still looked like hell, sickly and pallid.

“Sakura,” he murmurs in response, voice hoarse from being put through a ringer of his own making.

There is a prolonged moment in which she examines him, wearing an analytical expression that reminds him of clinician Sakura. Then the spell is broken, as if she’s forcibly turned that part of herself off, and she’s stepping aside and telling him softly, “Come in! I made onigirazu.”

He steps inside her entryway, setting his book on the console table momentarily beside where Hazel Wood lies, ready to be returned. He then shifts out of her way so he can remove his shoes. He’s not particularly hungry, but he’s glad it’s something fairly simple and heavy on the rice; he should be able to eat it fine.

He follows her inside, appreciating the subdued luminosity of her lamps along the way. The blankets are already laid out on the couch, a promise of simple warmth and companionship that he is very much looking forward to.

As his eye adjusts and he enters the kitchen, ready to grab a plate, his gaze locks on remnants of sliced tomatoes atop a cutting board he recognizes, though it’s familiar to him from his own apartment, not hers.

It’s exactly the same design as the one Naruto gifted him.

A fire roars to life in his ribcage as he freezes for a split second, an exhausted icy hot appreciation. It’s an implication that means the world to him, and particularly well timed.

She wants him around, to help prepare future meals.

“I put some sliced tomatoes in yours. I hope it’s okay,” Sakura says as she hands him a plate, not addressing the elephant in the room at all, as if she just needed a new cutting board and happened to pick up that one, though he knows that cannot possibly be the case; he'd seen at least two in her cupboard, before. “Would you like tea, or maybe some water?”

He nods stiffly, vision a bit blurry, then comprehends the second question.

“Water is fine,” he manages thickly.

They sit in front of her window, supple sunshine streaming in. It’s not too bright here, angled just right.

“...How was your morning?” He asks after taking a sip of water, voice still gravelly. He is beyond content to be sitting here, just looking at her, so much better than a picture.

“Good. Ino and I walk or jog in the early morning on Sundays, if it's nice. Hinata comes sometimes; she did today.” She chews a bite of her rice sandwich.

Sasuke blinks; she hasn’t mentioned that yet. Another chunk of her schedule falls into place. “...Where?”

A half smile blooms on her lips, dimple pushed into being. “Sometimes we run laps around the village, but usually there's no real destination; we just walk and visit.” She takes a sip of her own water. “It’s nice when Hinata comes; it tones Ino down a notch.”

He would snort, if he was in a different sort of mood.

“We went to the southeast part of town today,” she continues. “Ino wanted to see a new building they put up. Her mom has a big order of flowers to deliver there later this week.”

Flowers. In the chaos of the night he’s had, lily bulbs fell to the wayside of his mind.

Sasuke carefully takes the first bite of his own food. It’s good, as he expected; a mixture of salmon, tomato, and salted rice, simple enough to hopefully help settle his stomach. He can kind of taste it.

He chews slowly, reverently, alternating between eating and taking small sips of water as she chatters animatedly. “The flower shop's orders are really taking off now. Ino’s usually busiest once May comes. Hopefully things stay peaceful, so she can stay in the village for the most part; her mom can always use the extra help.”

They wash and dry the dishes together, afterwards, a routine that is beginning to feel familiar. She still doesn’t say anything about the cutting board, but Sasuke greatly appreciates the way it feels in his hand when she gives it to him, weighty and with a designated home under her roof. It slides into place easily in the cupboard with the two others.

They read for a while on her couch again, wrapped in their respective blankets; Sakura keeps her apartment fairly cool. It’s cozy in a way that makes his head feel funny, like he could fall asleep in minutes if he really tried, lulled by the soothing scent of berry and cleanliness. He wonders if it would be restful, if he did. Usually once enough time ellipses, well into the next day, his brain cuts him some slack, though it could be that he's just too exhausted from being up most of the night for the neurons to fire up again to such a frenzy.

Sasuke finishes the last chapter of his book sluggishly and contemplates the ending, a lengthy description of the fisherman gripping the solid railings of the dock with both hands as he comes ashore for the first time in months.

When he flicks his gaze to Sakura tiredly, she’s a third of the way through a new book, titled Among the Ruins: Post-War Reflections. It appears to be a memoir; he assumes it must be one she’s purchased, as it doesn’t have the library label. Perhaps it’s new, picked up this morning while she was out, or it could be one from her bookshelves. He would like to peruse the titles she has, sometime. He drowsily wonders which war it’s about.

He takes a careful breath and just revels in it, being here with her, mere feet away with his eyes closed but able to sense her presence, worn out with thoughts that have edges as frayed as he is. He would like to stay for dinner, too. He thinks it’s perhaps becoming implied that they’ll eat together if she doesn’t have other plans, but he doesn’t want to be rude or overstay his welcome.

Sasuke hopes he can stay awake. Maybe he shouldn’t have said no to tea earlier; the additional caffeine might have helped. He could offer to make them both some, he thinks fuzzily, but then he starts wondering if that would be odd or overstepping. It’s her tea, and her kitchen, and her cups.

Then he sleepily remembers the cutting board.

“You can take a nap, you know,” Sakura murmurs kindly, soft words echoing a little in the stillness of her space. “If you’re tired. I don’t mind.”

He blinks his eyes open, vision adjusting as he realizes he nearly dozed off.

She’s smiling from the other end of the couch. “I can make dinner later, and wake you up when it’s ready. You should rest until then.” She pauses, then adds, “I can grab you a better pillow from my room, if you want.”

His brain catches up to his auditory processing, and then his ears warm.

Oh.

The offer is tempting, though he doesn’t want to be rude. If it were any other day, he would force himself to stay awake, to spend more time with her. But it’s not any other day, and he’s drained, enervated in a way that makes him want to give in. He should ask, to make sure it’s okay, but he’s pretty sure she wouldn’t offer if it wasn’t.

“...Here?”

A flush inks its way onto her cheeks as her expression turns thoughtful. “Yes. Or... you can use my bed, if you want.”

Sasuke forces his gaze away from hers, because his face feels extremely warm all of the sudden. “...I meant… here, at your apartment.”

“Oh.” Sakura laughs in a way that sounds nervous; he hears her fiddling with the book in her lap. “I, um… just meant whatever’s most comfortable.”

When he hesitantly looks back to her, she’s red, too.

“...What will you do?”

She gestures with her hand in a waving motion to indicate it's fine. “I can read, or do some laundry or work stuff. It’s no trouble. Really, Sasuke-kun.” Her blush deepens. "...I would like you to stay… And to have dinner later. If you’re free."

He swallows before slowly nodding his acquiesce, and then Sakura is up and heading to her bedroom in a blink of mismatched eyes. Muffled footsteps pad back moments later, a pillow with a lavender pillowcase clutched in her hands.

Her bedding must be a variant of violet, then, a pastel contrast to the black of his own. He is curious about the color of her bedroom walls all over again, but then she’s handing him the pillow, and he’s too tired to continue thinking.

“...Thank you.”

The smile she wears is so soft, treasured. “You’re welcome.”

He’s out within a few minutes of laying his head on the pillow, drowsing eyes barely catching the lamps flickering off one by one as she meanders around her space.

The pillow smells like her, too, cogent in its beckoning. He sleeps like a rock.

XXX

Sakura nudges him awake hours later, leaning forward to rest her upper body against the back of the couch. The scent of miso and roasted tomatoes drifts into his nostrils while lively jade peers down at him. The light coming from her window has dimmed quite a bit. It must be well into the evening; she let him sleep for a while.

“Dinner’s ready,” she murmurs softly, wearing an expression that is incredibly fond.

He stretches slightly as he rises from her sofa, working out a crick in his shoulder and thinking that he feels much more rested. Sasuke is about to head to her kitchen to get his own bowl, until Sakura turns towards the table, and he sees that she's already set out food for both of them, green market light switched on overhead.

There's onigiri, too, and a steaming cup of sencha placed on his side that he's sure is decaffeinated.

His side.

The realization, albeit a good one, disarms him.

He has a side of her table. And a side of her couch.

Sakura recites a story Hinata told her this morning as they eat, about how Naruto initially buried every single flower bulb in their garden beds six inches deep instead of reading the directions, so they had to dig everything up and salvage the instructions on the package from the trash to replant.

“He mixed them all together, too, instead of planting them in sections like a normal person.” She laughs, and his lips turn upwards in shared amusement. “She said she hopes they didn’t miss one. Iris and echinacea can sometimes multiply out of control. She was happy she didn’t add bee balm to the list, too, or they’d really be in trouble; those can grow anywhere, even in gravel.”

The soup and tea feel good on his throat, and the rice is filling in a way that would be difficult to throw up, absorbent of moisture and chunking together to expand in his stomach until he is full, in more ways than one.

He can taste again, the richness of tomato and miso and calming ubiquitous green on his tongue and in his heart, thoughts of flowers and their idiot teammate helping to cast aside his earlier melancholy.

Sasuke loves her so much in that moment that it physically aches, her voice a balm that puts the rawest parts of him at ease.

"Thank you," he says quietly at the conclusion of the meal, grateful in ways he's not sure he'll ever be able to put into words.

Her response is simple, gentle, pure. “You’re welcome.”

As they wash and dry the dishes together in the dim light of her kitchen, Sakura tells him softly, “I put leftovers in containers for you in the fridge. Please take them with you tonight.”

He nods as his eyes sting with appreciation. When he turns to put away the teacups, he blinks to clear them as she wipes down the sink one last time for the evening.

As she sorts through her movie selection afterwards - it’s her turn to pick - he asks, “How is the poison antidote coming?”

Sakura glances at him curiously for a second from where she’s perched on the wood floor, rifling through the lower cabinet. “I think we might have it solved. Blarina toxin from a southern short-tailed shrew, and then possibly lionfish toxin, laced with algal bloom cyanobacteria. The lionfish toxin is part of the trouble; it’s such a trace amount that it was hard to identify, not enough to cause swelling on the exterior body like you’d see if you were stung by one in person. We’re still running tests, but the neutralization seems to be working on the mice so far.” She blanches a little. “Or, rather, the mice we have left. It’s diminished our stocks; shrew venom is particularly deadly to them.”

Sasuke knew it was likely to kill several of them, but not quite to that extent. He’s interested in her work, so he asks, “How many?”

She turns back to sift through her cabinet as she answers, pulling out another movie to examine. “A gland-full of venom is potent enough to kill up to two hundred of them. It’s why it took us longer than usual; we had to give them the absolute tiniest dose in order to not kill them within hours. I guess it makes sense; they’re one of the things they eat in the wild. The dose in the poison sample was high, though, venom from multiple shrews. A single bite usually isn’t enough to do any harm to humans, but when it’s quadrupled in dosage and laced with other things, it’s more severe.”

“...What’s the treatment?”

Sakura rattles off the extremely complex answer as if it’s nothing. “An antihistamine, steroid, botulinum toxin, and an antibiotic. We’re also giving them blood transfusions and flushing out the blood as it comes to the exterior machine, to get rid of the cyanobacteria. Kind of like conventional water treatment… just more complicated. More steps, filtration, and obviously we can’t use chlorine, so it takes longer.”

Sasuke blinks somewhat in awe. She really is so intelligent.

“...That sounds lengthy.”

She shrugs, movie still in hand. “It is. It’s why we’re not one hundred percent sure if we’ve solved it yet; the lionfish venom is still the weak link, and will be until we can see that the other portions of the treatment have worked to isolate it.”

“...I’d like to learn the process.”

A smile plays at her lips and a flush inks its way onto her cheeks. He supposes it was a roundabout sort of compliment; he could have worded it better, but she seems to have understood him anyway. She does about a lot of things, he thinks.

“I can bring home a kit, sometime, and teach you the basics. It could be useful.”

He nods; he would like that.

There is a long pause as Sakura bites her lip before further examining the movie case in her hand.

Then, she asks, a tentative expression on her face and peeking at him to gauge his reaction, “Want to watch a bad one?”

Sasuke wonders if she knows he would watch any movie with her, if it means he gets to be in her company like this, saved from a room with white tiles or dark wood.

“...Sure.”

She wasn't exaggerating; it is truly terrible, riddled with plot holes so nonsensical that it’s almost funny. The acting is bad, too, though perhaps that’s more to blame on the script rather than the actors.

“Even the camera work is awful,” Sakura says at one point, gesturing towards the left side of the screen. “If you look in the background here, there’s an extra that just… walks into the wall.”

He watches, and sure enough, behind the main characters, a girl walks directly into a corner and just stands there.

He snorts, genuinely enthused in a manner he would not have thought possible hours ago. Sakura laughs at the other end of the couch. It’s a sound he could listen to forever, sweet and chiseled into his heart.

They play an extensive round of go afterwards, venturing well into the night with the plinking of small pieces into place. It’s nearly eleven when she finally walks him to her doorway, two containers of tomato miso soup and onigiri in her hands. As he pulls on his shoes, Sakura sets them by his library book on the console table.

“Would you want to read tomorrow afternoon?” She asks as he rises to his full height.

He nods. “...I’ll meet you here.”

Her dimple makes a reappearance. “One fifteen?”

He inclines his head again in agreement, then decides to ask. It’s becoming easier, now that she has said yes so many times.

“Dinner, after?”

Her smile widens. “Of course. I was thinking gyudon. Light on the sugar. You could…” She bites her lip and shifts a bit. “...You could help me cook, if you’d like.”

Something turns over in his belly. “...Okay.”

She glows at him. He swallows once before reaching out to skim her freckle, enjoying the feel of her cheek against the pad of his thumb.

And then her fingers against his fingers, holding him there against her cheek, soft and steady.

Then he leans down, and his lips are on hers, a breath exhaled in unison as her entryway falls away. Her free hand twists around his neck, delicately brushing the fabric and a fraction of his skin in a way that nearly makes him shiver. It’s a long moment of quietus, a finishing stroke to a day that could have gone very differently.

It is also the longest kiss they’ve shared yet, and it is over far too soon.

He’s pulling away to look at her, letting his hand drop away, when she wraps her arms tenderly around him.

He can hardly breathe, taken off guard by the absolute sensation of comfort he’s enveloped in.

She doesn’t say a thing; just hugs him tight, her fingertips spreading across his back and face pressed to his sternum. Berry invades his olfactory senses.

Slowly he lifts his arm to carefully return the hug, swallowing a tender sort of truth, a kind that goes down easy, the evidence and action of her affection. He can feel Sakura’s heartbeat against his chest, a tempo teeming with life.

They stand there together in her entryway for a long time.

XXX

He sleeps wrapped in a clean comforter, and though it’s not for very long, it is dreamless.

He’s eating leftover onigiri when he receives a mission summons, barely past seven in the morning. He finishes his meal and pops a cough drop in his mouth before departing for the Hokage’s office.

It’s a nice day, he thinks as he walks, coming to a decision as he admires vernal greenery lining the streets. The sun is just lifting over the horizon, painting everything pale amber.

“Sasuke,” Kakashi greets as he walks in; he’s the first one there again, apparently. “Good morning.”

“Kakashi.”

Their old sensei smiles at him in the strange all-seeing manner he has. Sasuke notes the presence of a new picture frame present on his desk, replacing the one he’s given him.

He is extremely grateful to have that picture to grip onto in his darker moments. Sasuke considers thanking him then, for Iron, but then Naruto is barreling in noisily.

“Whaizzit?” He yawns raucously, as if he just woke up, sleep still clinging to the corners of his eyes. They are multi-faceted, too, even in their barely aware state, and Sasuke inwardly breathes a sigh of relief, normalcy shifting fully back into place as the door clicks behind his teammate.

Then Naruto registers that Sasuke is present. “Eh? Teme?!” Cerulean scans the room as if he’s searching for something, then he frowns, directing a lengthy glare Kakashi’s way.

“If you've called me here at seven in the fucking morning for anything that isn’t a Team Seven reunion mission, I’m going to lose it.”

Ah. He was looking for Sakura.

“Afraid not,” Kakashi answers cryptically from his desk, and Naruto’s sleepy glare tightens. Then the Hokage smiles, as if something is incredibly amusing. "Guard duty. Kotetsu and Izumo deserve a break. Things are slow this week, and we have the extra numbers.”

The copy ninja skillfully dodges Naruto’s sandal as it flies towards him. “You’ve got to be kidding. You woke me up for this? You could have told me later in the day or something!!”

“Future Hokages don’t receive special treatment, and it’s professional to give more than twenty-four hours notice if possible.”

Naruto grumbles. "All week?"

Kakashi grins. "Tuesday through Friday."

Inwardly, Sasuke twitches.

"I should specify; nine to six, Tuesday through Friday."

Outwardly, Sasuke twitches.

It's not exactly her work schedule for all four days, but it lines up closely enough that it's fairly obvious what Kakashi’s doing.

Naruto barely reacts; just snorts in a way that is caustic, as if he finds the times unsurprising. "Cool. Can I go back to sleep until it’s time to kick teme’s ass now? Hinata-chan and I were cozy."

Sasuke rolls his eyes; when they spar in the mornings, it’s typically between eight and nine. He’ll have around an hour's extra sleep at best, though he supposes he’s not in any position to judge at this point, given his nap on Sakura’s couch yesterday.

Kakashi’s smile widens, mask wrinkling. "Sure. Dismissed."

They both watch on in faint amusement as Naruto stumbles sleepily out of his office, neglecting to collect his missing shoe.

“...Some things never change,” the Hokage murmurs, sighing.

“...No, they don’t.”

“Well, anyways, before you go…” Kakashi turns to him, tapping the pen at his desk absentmindedly. “How are things?”

Sasuke blinks, recalling leftovers and a new cutting board and the feeling of Sakura’s arms around him.

And kissing. Mostly kissing. Probably too much, if his neck’s sudden warmth is anything to go by.

“Good.”

A lone visible eye crinkles at the corners. “Great. Don’t hesitate to let any of us know if you need anything.”

He lets the words hang in the air for an extended few seconds before nodding slowly.

"I was thinking…” Kakashi continues, gaze flicking down to the photograph on his desk. “...Perhaps we could make Team Seven dinners a monthly thing. It would be good, don’t you think?"

“...Yeah.”

A dark eye locks on him again. "Sai could come, too."

Ah.

"...Sure." He really should make an effort to get to know him better. His replacement seems nice enough, peculiar as he is.

"Wonderful. Let's plan on the first Saturday of every month at six, shall we? If we're all in the village, that is. I’ll let him know when I call him in later this morning."

“Okay.”

A long moment passes, then Kakashi is procuring the shoe from the area behind his desk. Sasuke notes that he holds it as far away from him as his arm will allow.

“...I don’t suppose you’d return this, when you see him later?”

Sasuke says nothing.

“...Though I suppose I could assign it as a mission to some Genin.” Then he's sighing, setting it on the farthest edge of Naruto’s work area. “Too bad I just gave an assignment to my last two.”

Shooting him a withering look, Sasuke departs the Hokage’s Office. He gets the distinct feeling as he goes that Kakashi is incredibly pleased with himself, solidified by what he calls after him.

“Tell Sakura I say hi.”

Guard duty is easy in theory, but spending thirty six hours with the dobe may be… a challenge. He supposes if the reward is being able to see Sakura after she works most of those days, he'll take it. He's sure Kakashi won't keep him in the village forever; eventually duty will call him away for extended periods of time.

It solidifies his decision; he should take the opportunity of being here to plant something.

He stops by the market vendor on the northern end to buy two packages of lily bulbs on his way home. The market is fairly slow, so there are few other people around.

The packages feel good in his hand, lighter than he expected.

Sasuke works through a section of one of his other books before Naruto shows up on his doorstep, still appearing for all intents and purposes half asleep. Their spar ends in another draw; luckily there are no cracked bones this time.

He eats more leftovers for lunch after, appreciating the taste.

XXX

Sasuke feels at home in Sakura’s kitchen, cutting scallions easily while she broils beef and prepares the egg mixture for gyudon just a few steps away. The meal comes together quickly between the two of them, savory with a sauce that is heavier on the mirin and sake than the sugar.

Food they prepare together somehow tastes even better. It’s late when they finally sit down to eat dinner, gazing out through glass at the streets below as they take their first bites.

The sauce is perfect; not too sweet.

“...I have guard duty this week,” he mentions after a while.

“With who?” She asks, though her lips twitch upwards.

He rolls his eyes. “...Guess.”

She bites her lip, and he tears his gaze away from her mouth and up to her eyes. The green is filled with mirth, twinkling with illuminated flecks.

“Good luck,” she says sincerely. “What times?”

He glances away, ears warming and wondering if Kakashi has mentioned anything to her about them being… together.

“Tomorrow through Friday, nine to six.”

There is a long pause. When he peeks back at her, she’s blushing.

“...Kakashi-sensei is nosy.” Sakura takes another bite of her food, looking shy for some reason, and suddenly Sasuke is certain that their sensei has said something to her, perhaps on multiple occasions. He wonders what.

“...He is.” He thinks, then adds as an afterthought, “...He says hi.”

They do the dishes together and play two rounds of chess. Sakura wins once, and the second round is another stalemate, though he suspects he was close to beating her.

It’s close to nine by the time they’re putting the board away. As he works on packing up the last of the pieces to store in their allocated compartment, he notices she’s gazing out the window, scanning the sky as if distracted.

The way she’s angled puts the freckle on her cheek in plain view, pale hair loosely tucked behind her ear.

Then she turns to him, pink flooding her complexion, and Sasuke realizes he’s been staring, the remaining few pieces still clutched in his hand, frozen in midair in his distraction. He hastily finishes putting them away as his own face warms. Sakura rises from the table to put the box away, footsteps echoing softly through her living space.

He looks outside quizzically for a moment, embarrassedly trying to will the color away from his face and wondering what she was looking at. It’s a clear evening, calm without a cloud in sight.

"I was wondering if…"

His vision snaps to her expectantly across the room, and her cheeks flush darker; he can see it even though it’s dimly lit, shifting from one foot to the other. She seems nervous.

"If you would maybe want to… go stargazing for a bit tonight?"

His pulse quickens, pushing at the seams of chambers and ventricles in a way that makes it feel like the vines have twisted their way in, taking hold of whatever they can clutch.

She apparently does still like that sort of thing.

And she wants to go with him.

He nods immediately, struck speechless with elation before he manages to form the question, "...Where?"

Her expression is one of relief. "I was thinking just outside the village. There’s…” She looks away, smiles. “There’s a place Ino and I go to sometimes; we went today for a bit, after training. There are wild lilacs blooming right now.” She shifts her gaze to him again. “It's supposed to be a little cooler, but the sky’s clear. We could bring tea in a thermos; I have two."

Heat creeps up his neck as he agrees, heart stammering in his chest a little, because he’s started thinking about it now, and stargazing together is very clearly romantic in nature, amongst flowers even more so.

Sakura brews tea for the both of them as he distracts himself by slicing a lemon for hers. When he glances at her surreptitiously, she’s still blushing, and jade eyes snap away as if this time she’s the one that’s been caught staring. That makes his heart pound, to the extent that he’s glad she’s a few feet away, because it’s so loud that she might hear it.

They meander to the edge of the village as evenfall settles, into the forested area just beyond the gates. As Sasuke trails behind her, divagating through subtly flattened pathways between the trees, his thoughts wander to bygone seasons.

There once was a pond, three quarters of a mile outside of the village, beyond where the Uchiha District used to be. It wasn’t officially a part of their grounds, but it was remote enough that it wasn’t easily happened upon by anyone other than their family, off the beaten path and through thicket and thistle as it was.

Itachi used to take him fishing there.

He thinks they’d gone four or five times in all, but he remembers it well, because he had been terrible at fishing, not a shred of patience. His brother caught most of them, but he would sometimes set the hook before passing off the reel to Sasuke to help him learn. It was quiet, peaceful in the way that only the wilderness is, away from the pressures of expectations. Wildflowers poked up everywhere in the later summer months, situated on a hill towards the far side of the pond. They picked some together for their mother, once; Sasuke clutched them in his hands while they made the trek back to the village, Itachi carrying their bucket of perch and bass.

It was nice in the autumn, too, warm tones flooding everything. One could sit in the swaying overgrowth flush with falling leaves for hours taking it all in and still not see it all, an overwhelmingly pure sense of peace, made heartier by the taste of freshly grilled fish later in the evening.

The walk had seemed like it took forever back then, on short legs looking upward. He’s never returned to that place, not once, since he was eight. It would hurt too much, for different reasons now than when he was twelve.

He remembers passing wild lilacs then, too, on the way there and back. He supposes they probably thrive in the chaparral throughout Fire Country, if one cares to traipse through the foliage to look for them. He stumbled upon many on his journey, just passing through on roads less traveled.

The small clearing Sakura leads them to reminds him of the pond a little, wild and flush with fading hues, framed by fragrant lilacs in bloom as she said, but there are no memories tied to it yet, so it’s better. Huge bushes of them grow unaided here, wispy purple redolence scattered by the wind into the earth's cracks, ushered in by whispers through the trees.

The wilds are not so far from Konoha, really. Like the cherry blossom tree on the hill, it's a good reminder that some things can grow easily even on rougher terrain.

Sasuke sits rather close to her, so they can drink their tea together. The sun slips just below the horizon, a cloudless sky awash in a shifting gradient. He catches jade as he takes a drink, appreciating the taste, a small bit of warmth on a cool night.

The way she’s looking at him makes his heart rate accelerate again, a serene expression that implies there is nothing she would rather be doing right now than be here.

With him.

Eventually stars begin inking into existence overhead one by one, the last bit of sun lingering just on the horizon, a muted blur of violet bleeding into black. Things are slightly clearer here, beyond the boundaries of the village, no glass or light pollution to obscure the retinas.

Once she finishes her tea, Sakura lies down the same way she does on the hill, so he does, too, trying to calm his heart rate, because he is very close to her, just within reach. The forest breathes around them, coating everything in a lilac perfume.

He used to think about her, when he looked to the stars, feeling worlds away and wondering if she thought of him that day. Being next to her is better, revered, the calm din of an evening he has craved for a long time.

When he turns to steal a look, her eyes are already on him, and there is something about that moment, as the last light fades, being here with her, that makes his chest go aflame.

And then Sakura turns slightly, reaching out towards him with her right hand, and he blinks.

She sweeps his hair away from his Rinnegan eye, a thumb gently skimming his cheek as he has hers, before her hand falls away. Though they are cloaked in the gloaming of dusk’s darkness, enough he hopes to hide the warmth that has crept into his face, there is adequate light left to see her expression, so tender, jade eyes desaturated to dark sage.

He feels seen in a way that he hasn’t felt before, recalling soft words in an exam room.

Not me.

The sky is fully lit in short order, beautiful and dark with only a tiny sliver of the moon visible. It is truly lovely, Ursa Major, Leo, and Hydra scattered before them like a painting a million years old, ageless messengers traveling from who knows where, as he did. It took many steps to get here to her, scattered revolutions passing wide arcs around the sun, yearning for a day to close the gap, to feel like he was close to ready.

It was worth every single one.

A question is on the tip of his tongue, so he decides to ask it, to give in to the impulse.

“...Any poems?” He wants to learn the words she likes, what kinds of meaning she applies to things, intelligent as she is. Sasuke imagines the inner workings of Sakura’s mind to be quite complex, teeming with all of the things she’s read, research and fiction and nonfiction. He would like to know her favorite pieces of poetry, what she holds dear in her own heart.

She shifts slightly; he thinks she must be looking at him for a split second.

There is a lengthy silence punctuated by crickets before she finally answers, “A short one,” voice hushed like the breeze around them; if he wasn’t so close to her, he wouldn’t be able to hear.

He shifts his gaze to her on his right, barely able to make out her silhouette in the dark.

“Take notice of what light does - to everything.”

The words sink into him like rain on freshly tilled soil, triggering a bricolage of recollections. Instantly he is reminded of light through the window of his bathroom, stirring him from a pit of self doubt and guilt. Then light through the windows of Sakura’s apartment, cooking and doing the dishes together in her kitchen. A nap, comfortable on her couch as day fades into dusk, lamps switched off for a period of much needed rest. Flowers, grown by a doorstep with the sun’s rays seeping in through diamond patterning. The shadow of a jasmine plant, inked onto her cheekbone, and neon lights reflectant atop pale pink hair.

The intricate stitching of an uchiwa fan, thread catching iridescence as she holds it daintily in her hands as if it is something important, to be cherished.

Her eyes when she is happy, hints of gold flecks, catching like fractals of color atop shifting seafoam.

The way white nerine lilies looked drenched in sunlight, on days that are decidedly not summer monsoons.

Stars are a form of light, too, and despite being far away, they are refulgent in their luminosity, a beauty that cuts through murk and offers much for contemplation; the gaps of darkness between them are what allows people to make meaning out of them, constellations strewn together.

He is home, surrounded by spring. It is something to behold.

“...Did you write letters to Naruto?” Sakura asks after a lengthy period of reflection, so softly that her voice is almost a whisper.

The concept is so ridiculous to him that he would snort, if not for the moment they are sharing right now and the way she asked it, no hint of a joke in her tone.

So he answers seriously, just as quietly. “No.”

There is a long pause.

“...And Kakashi-sensei?”

Ah. He understands what she’s really asking. “...Other than missions, no.”

It’s hard to tell, but he thinks he sees her fingers grip in the grass next to her, gently as if in reflex.

Sasuke tries very hard to swallow his doubts.

When they were on missions as Genin, she used to lay sprawled out like this, hands spread next to her. So did Naruto. It bothered him then, because he liked his folded together on his stomach and he was very particular about personal space, which they both invaded.

Sasuke doesn’t have another hand to fold his with anymore, though, and he’s less concerned about personal space with her than he used to be. The darkness helps bolster his confidence, too, nyctophile that he is; she won’t see the heat that’s spreading to his face here, lit merely by distant flickering stars.

Take notice of what light does - to everything.

The luminaries above them offer only a little of it, yet it's a transfixing sight, something of the epochal and the divine present that he has been drawn to for years.

So he reaches out to skim her hand with his, a tentative sort of constellation in itself, recorded in points of contact and palm prints on the skin rather than etched in alembic light in the sky.

There are soft fingertips, a knuckle gently gliding by. Then she’s interlacing her fingers with his, and suddenly it’s not tentative at all. It’s leal, steady, her small hand in his as if it has always belonged there, the scent of flourishing blooms wafting around them and painting everything in his head lilac starlight.

Her thumb brushes his skin once, twice, thrice, achingly gentle.

He should have reached out sooner, but he supposes they’re young, still. There is a lot of time ahead of them. The stars will align eventually, slow in their revolutions around common centers of mass as he is in letting people in. She accepted his apology for being late already, fine fingertips clutching an uchiwa fan with a touch just as gentle as now.

If he can only hold her hand in the dark, maybe that’s enough for now, a single star he can reach. He hopes he'll reach the others eventually.

Hours pass with her hand in his, and he is a small bit closer in revolution by the time he walks her home.

Lilac and raspberry and starlight coalesce against his lips when they collide with hers, an allegorical perfume he could easily get drunk on. He skims the freckle again, tenderly osculant, and realizes that is the start of a constellation, too, a novitious star burning brighter every time he reaches out. Kissing makes three.

Her hands around his neck make four. This time he does shiver, but he doesn’t pull away.

Sakura’s lips are so soft.

XXX

He plants the lily bulbs shortly after they say good night, under the cover of the caliginous dark that shepherds in the dew of the morning, tiny drops of moisture beginning to collect on nearby blades of grass. The stars are still out, bright enough to be beautiful but dim enough so that he can’t read the names.

Sakura would help him if he asked, he knows, but he doesn’t think he’s quite ready for that yet. He settles for trying to make his touch as gentle yet sure as hers, an elegy of calloused fingers digging carefully through the dirt, grasping and placing lily bulbs one by one. There are four bulbs in total, so he plants two on each side, nine inches apart, allowing them to poke up through the soil slightly and frame the stone; he reread the instructions when he stopped by his apartment earlier. It’s a different brand of corrosion, manually digging up layers of dirt rather than hoping they slough off, but it’s progress, and it doesn't require digging too deep.

There has to be something beneath the layers of sediment, he thinks, to feel the way he does about her. He hopes that what he feels is enough, that his slow revolutions will be worthwhile for her, in the end.

I’m sure it will be lovely, when everything finally comes together.

Being in Konoha is not easy, after everything, but being with Sakura is.

When he’s lying in his own bed a short time later, he recalls the love in her fingertips against his. It lulls him to sleep.

[meimi-haneoka]

Akiho Shinomoto - a manifesto of love

Despite becoming one of my favorite characters in the whole Cardcaptor Sakura franchise (and I would’ve never expected to love a new character this much), I realized I’ve never spent a long post for her, like the ones I did for SyaoSaku or for Tomoyo and Syaoran long time ago.

And there’s a lot to say, because Akiho Shinomoto is actually the first character who has introduced the concepts of evil and child abuse in Cardcaptor Sakura.

Something that wasn’t even remotely conceivable until (almost) 5 years ago.

Often considered boring and weak from the CCS fandom, Akiho actually harbors an immense strength inside of her, which goes mostly unnoticed to everyone, in-story friends included. Let’s see why.

Sentenced to death, for lack of magical powers

Once upon a time, a baby girl was born in a clan of powerful magicians, the most ancient of Europe. Clan members seemed happy and curious about the new entry to the family. They had great expectations about what magic she would develop, as everyone else in that family. At the ripe old age of 1 year and a half / 2 years, the baby girl was expected to show some signs of magic, but she had none. But hey, maybe she would become powerful later, let's pat her head and wait patiently. At that time, the Clan still showed some kind of "attention" for her.

But by the time the girl was around 6/7 years old, no fragment of magic appeared in her. Unacceptable. She's the daughter of two top rank magicians, in a clan of magic prodigies. Yet, she showed none of those gifts. They kept comparing her with some boy, living in a far away country, part of another famous magical clan. The girl suddenly held no more interest for her Clan. They actually started seeing her as a stain on their Clan's pride. Suddenly, the focus was all on how they could surpass the other rival clan. The girl was left all alone. A magicless member of the family is a member who doesn't even deserve being talked to. An interrogatory, at most. Who cares if the little girl wants to socialize, if she wants to play, if she's the only young person in that Clan, already without her parents who died so early on? The only thing this girl was good at was reading books, so all that's she's allowed to do. Not even playing with stuffed animals. For some reason, she's allowed to keep only ONE plushie, which is basically everything to her. But books and dolls can't fill that sinkhole she's already feeling at such young age.

Obsessed with this "anomaly", when she was about 2 years old, the Clan had the baby girl examined by a member of a Magic Association in England, known to be the den of shady magicians. A 8/9 year old bored magic genius, named “Yuna D.”, was her examiner. The boy said "She's like a blank book". The girl grew up, and the situation was still the same. The disapproving stares of her relatives cut the little girl’s heart like a sharp knife. They called her “worthless”, “useless”. They even doubted she could really be the daughter of her powerful parents. So what should they have done? Let the little girl live her life like any other regular human being, or taking literally the words of a BORED, EMOTIONALLY UNDEVELOPED CHILD who literally spat out the first thing that came to his mind?

Although the choice should’ve come easily for any normal human being with a functioning brain, they actually went in the other direction, greedy for power. And so, they decided to treat the girl like a tool, using her to store all kinds of magic for them to use. If she couldn’t be of any help to her clan with her capabilities, they would give her a purpose.

On some kind of altar, halfway between a lab rat and the sacrificing ritual of a sect, the most ancient Magicians of Europe together with the Magic Association performed a dangerous magic on her, which afterwards would take its toll even on the casters: they turned her into a magical artifact, capable of engraving in herself all the magical books she would encounter, transforming her de facto into a book herself. As if this wasn’t horrifying enough, this spell will progressively try to crush her soul and conscience, until it gets destroyed completely. So when the artifact will reach its limit, it will be the death of her, as a human being. Only a shell of her will remain. And judging by what was said later on in the story, they actually hope for her to lose her consciousness completely, so they can make use of her more easily.

Afterwards, they burned the book they took the ritual from, so the procedure would remain in their knowledge only. Greedy till the very last drop.

Once their perfect magical tool was achieved, turning a little girl into some sort of artifact, both the Clan and their accomplices couldn't stop bragging about it. The only positive words Akiho has ever received in her life by her people were after she was turned into a tool.

With a newly found purpose for that stain on their clan’s pride, they sent her away into the world to collect all the magic books she could find and write their powers into her, even though she was still just a child. For reasons still unknown, Yuna D., the boy who involuntarily caused this horrible ritual to happen and basically condemned her to death, offers himself to accompany her. The very first decision he took in his own life. That decision will change forever the course of their life, for both of them.

Rising from the ashes, towards a future of hope

Rehashing Akiho’s past is important to understand her personality and behavior fully. CLAMP, in the Clear Card manga, have portrayed the story of her past in a very peculiar way: it starts as any other fairytale, with light tones and cute designs. But as the story progresses, and the horror ensues, the tone of the tale changes, and so the drawing style too. It becomes serious, and “realistic” (ad opposed to the initial cutesy style). What started as a possible generic fairytale, turned into a real nightmare.

On top of being deprived of the love of her parents ever since she was born, because apparently they died right after, Akiho spent her early childhood in complete solitude. Those magicians who were supposed to be her remaining family were too absorbed into their own greed for power, to consider the needs of a baby girl. Not to mention that they had some kind of disgust for her, for being magicless. She was denied attention, cuddles, conversations, play activities, toys. She was denied love and care. All basic things that contribute to shape the personality and psychology of a person. Akiho grew up with the conviction that she wasn’t worth any of that, because no one gave it to her. One of the complaints I have seen the most about her in the fandom, is how she’s always so apologetic, to the point of becoming obnoxious. If you think about it, one of the most prominent characteristics of her personality is how she continuously apologizes to people, thanks them for any smallest thing, and is always, constantly seeking validation. 

But if you stop for a second to think about her past, you’ll realize with dismay that those are none other than symptoms of the abuse she suffered in the past. She was called “good for nothing” and “useless” by her clan and the Magic Association, and those words carved themselves into her heart, forever scarring it. Akiho grew up believing that she was really worthless and good for nothing just because she couldn’t meet the expectations of her clan, and it’s apparent when we see her considering herself “extremely clumsy”, even though we have afterwards seen that she’s perfectly capable of cooking, sewing, even playing sports. She only needs the dedication of someone who would teach her that.

With a disastrous psychological situation like this, one would naturally wonder how this girl didn’t commit anything extreme yet. Completely alone in the world, deemed useless. Unloved.

Books, books were her first lifeline. The fictional, magical, wonderful worlds depicted in those stories saved her sanity, making her dream about a better life, about friendship, about love. They taught her everything. They gave her the hope that those things existed out there, and maybe one day she would be blessed with them too. The fantastical characters kept her company when no one was there for her (yet). And she loves them viscerally for that, to the point of seeing herself mending damaged books in the future, as a possible occupation. Just like they mended her lacerated heart.

The second lifeline was her meeting with Kaito. Uncharacteristically to him, Kaito showed immediately a kind and interested behavior towards her. This was so shocking, so incredible that Akiho’s first reaction to his introduction was to run away. No one ever addressed her with the intention of having a conversation. No one was ever interested in what she was reading. Even just by this you can get a glimpse of how miserable her life had been till then. Full of psychological issues himself, thanks to the human connection Kaito gradually turned his attentions towards Akiho from contrieved mannerism, to genuine and sincere gestures. Akiho can feel that affection, even if her self-criticism always pushes her to believe that she’s nothing more than “job” to him. It’s something small, but what she’s experiencing with Kaito is her everything, and more than she’s ever had.

The third lifeline is Momo: Akiho doesn’t know, nor remotely imagines she’s actually a living magical creature. But she has been her constant presence ever since she was born. Her connection to her is special, and you can see it in their daily (one-sided, for now) interactions. Akiho talks to Momo, she greets her when she comes back home, she constantly carries her around, she thinks about giving her a little dress as a present. Momo is Akiho’s strength. The love this girl pours into what she believes is just a stuffed animal is incredible. It goes to show Akiho’s immense capacity to love something/someone without expecting anything in return, but actually just enjoying the simple presence and courage they give to her. If you think about it, it’s the very opposite of what she experienced with the only human interactions she’s ever had before Kaito came into the picture. Her aptitude to selfless love is also remarked between the lines in chapter 49, when Akiho is telling Sakura about her relationship with Kaito. Despite all the ugliness she went through, she’s still able to find in herself the strength to overcome all of it, and change her life for the better.

This certainly hasn’t been an easy or quick process, because in the flashbacks of her journey with Kaito we always see her with a pensive/serious look. It must have been extremely hard to start trusting others, when she had no one she could count on in her own home.

Akiho’s capacity to love and rise from the ashes of her terrible past has been so contagious, that it has started to affect Kaito too.  As Momo said in chapter 51, once you’re given the reason to change, no person can ever stay the same. This must have been true for Kaito, but certainly for Akiho too.

I’m absolutely positive that Akiho (and possibly, Kaito too) will be the symbol for one of the most important, beautiful messages in the whole Clear Card Arc: even if your life isn’t perfect, even if your past scarred you in multiple ways, there’s always hope. Hope to turn over a new leaf and change yourself for the better too, in the process. Overcome everything that had you stuck in pain and grief. Achieve what you always wished for.

[phoenixyfriend]

More "de-aged Taka and T7 end up in the Warring Clans Era as Founders' wards" AU

“That’s a thing?” you ask. The answer is yes.

Uh. Kind of. Deaging Team Seven for the sake of tossing them back in time for a Founder to adopt is pretty common, but I’m trash for Taka so this AU started with me brainstorming the asshole team.

I am falling more and more in love with the idea of Tobirama ending up with custody of Team Taka somehow. He’s a science dad, but like. Marginally more ethical than Orochimaru.

Everyone around them is like "This is a terrible idea and it's all going to end horribly" and he's just like "Ah, these are now my children."

I've read so many "Team Seven time-travels and is de-aged, get adopted by the Founders" or "a Founder time-travels forward and adopts Naruto, subsequently picking up the others" and they're good but I now want the same plot with an even more dysfunctional collection of... eldritch mishaps? The AO3 feel of "I want this fic I just read, again, but a step to the left so it feels fresh and new"

I'm considering the tent of tranquility idea (courtesy of @sloaners​) and I've come to the decision that Tobirama's... probably going to end up with Several Holes in it, and burns, and cuts, because Karin and Suigetsu never stop fighting, and if they're fighting, they're not paying attention to how soon Juugo's going to lose his grip on control.

"Hm. Tobirama?" "Anija." "Where did you get children?" "They showed up." "One of them looks like an Uchiha." "He does." "Two of them are trying to kill each other." "That's normal." "Are the Uchiha going to accuse us of stealing a clan child?" "Probably." "...Tobirama, did you steal these children?" "No."

(It's not kidnapping if they show up and break into your house first.)

(Also none of them are particularly pressed to ditch the Senju and find their clans. Maybe eventually. Not now.)

They’re assholes but Karin is, even at Supposedly Age Three, babbling at Tobirama about proper lab protocol and chemical reactions and isn’t that just the most adorable thing?

Very few people find Karin as adorable as Tobirama does, because Karin knows more ways to kill a person than most adult shinobi, because most adult shinobi don’t know about things like flesh-eating diseases and specialty poisons from the other side of the continent that can only be refined via chemical processes that won’t exist for another three decades.

Juugo is a sweetheart. Best child. Then he loses his mind but it’s okay, Sasuke is there. Do the Senju trust the clearly-Uchiha child to control the much larger five-year-old? No. But they don’t have any better ideas right now, so.

Tobirama: Hm, we should do something about that. Karin: Here’s a list of ideas and things that have already been tried. Tobirama: Thank you, small child. Where did you get this? Karin: ... Tobirama: Fair enough, let’s see what we can do.

Suigetsu is a little terror because not only is he a Massive Jerk but he also has better control over water than most adults. Mostly because he is water. It’s very hard to find him when he’s avoiding chores.

Karin clings to Mito sometimes because Family! and then Hashirama tries to tease Tobirama about being upset that one of his students/children has ditched him. Hashirama ends up moping in a corner because Tobirama snaps at him, unsurprisingly.

IDK if we have like any canon for Touka beyond skill with genjutsu, but going off of the fanon that she used a naginata, I’m going to say that Suigetsu keeps trying to challenge her to Blade Fights and she’s just like Neat, A Tiny Murder Machine.

Sasuke is very quiet for the most part and Dramatically Broods On Rooftops And In Trees and Hashirama is just like YES YOU REMIND ME OF MY BROTHER AND ALSO MY BEST FRIEND and Sasuke hides.

Sasuke does not need another Naruto, thank you.

Sasuke ends up hanging out with Mito, I think? Like yeah, sure, she’s an Uzumaki, but she’s chill and refined and calm and she has really good tea in stock. Sure he has to learn fuuinjutsu to have an excuse to hang out with her, but that’s fine. It’s interesting. Karin does it too, sometimes.

tbh that probably leaves Hashirama to hang out with Juugo? Juugo isn’t great at Excite but he is great at nature so I feel like Hashirama would be stars-in-eyes about Juugo talking to birds the way Hashirama talks to trees, and Hashirama just gets him a chicken coop like HERE. FRIENDS.

But back to the suspected child theft.

Hashirama is like “That is... clearly an Uchiha. They are going to find out, Tobirama! Someone is going to figure out we have--” “Sasuke, show him your other eye. Yeah, the one you cover.” “...” “Okay, go back to playing.” “...Tobirama.” “Yeah?” “That was a Rinnegan.” “You know those rumors that the only way to get a Rinnegan is to mix the Uchiha and Senju bloodlines?” “It’s true?” “No idea, Sasuke won’t tell me anything about his parents other than their names, and he’s three, but even the chance of it being true means we have an arguable claim.” “...that’s not going to be enough to convince the Uchiha.” “The theory is but one weapon of many in the upcoming battle of wits.” “Tobirama--” “Now if you’ll excuse me, Anija, I need to go make sure Suigetsu doesn’t flood the training grounds again.”

tbh I can’t remember who made the original comment in canon about the Rinnegan being achieved via Senju/Uchiha babies but it’s funny to use here so I’ll pretend it’s a common rumor that nobody actually believes

MEANWHILE WITH THE UCHIHA Madara found and took custody of Team Seven and company, mostly because they’re like... jounin-level despite being less than three feet tall.

It involves a lot of Madara going "I want My New Children to love me!" and being sorely disappointed by half of them. Poor fucker got stuck with Naruto, Sakura, Sai, Kakashi, Yamato, and Obito.

(KakaYamaObito are deaged by the time-travel to 10-13ish. The kids are deaged to 3-4. Everyone has memories to just after the fourth war or so.)

Karin sensed T7 and tagalong pretty much the second they popped out of Kamui, and told Sasuke, but he correctly guessed that Naruto would hunt him down eventually, and said they should enjoy the peace and quiet while they had it.

Sai pulls emotionless creepy smiles in an attempt to freak out Madara but since Madara's whole thing initially was "less children in war," he's... mostly just sad. Izuna wants to know who made his brother cry.

Madara makes a vaguely misogynistic comment that's typical for the period and Sakura just. Breaks his tibia.

Naruto is genuinely trying to treat Madara with the kind of respect a caretaker that Attempts To Care And Do Good By Them deserves, because Naruto is a good egg, but he's... three again. Which means he's a Hellion.

The literal toddlers (Naruto and Sakura are three-ish, Sai is four-ish) are, in fact, toddlers, so nobody really expects them to be able to do anything. Nobody bothers to test them beyond the basics of like. Can walk? Can talk? Can maybe hold knife? Like don’t get me wrong, they’re very competent toddlers, but their hands can barely wrap around a kunai. Their bodies are tiny. Their bones only just stopped being soft!

That said, the “tweens” (re: adults who got deaged but Less) have to get tested for their skills. Kakashi downplays himself to what he imagines a semi-competent eleven-year-old to be capable of. He thinks of, like, Neji maybe? Good, but not suspiciously good.

Obito enters an intangible state and refuses to participate. He has a Mangekyo. His body is half-Zetsu. Stop bothering him. He doesn’t want to do anything. They assign him babysitting duty for Team Seven since he can obviously defend pretty well, and Kakashi vouches for his abilities as a fighter.

Yamato decides to try to be just a little worse than Kakashi but at one point he panics and does Mokuton on instinct and now the entire Uchiha compound is screeching because did they just steal a Main Family Senju kid by accident?

Yamato: Should I tell them I was a science experiment? Kakashi: No.

Pranks galore! None of the other time-travelers even try to stop Naruto, except maybe Yamato.

Obito at the Uchiha compound is mostly "I don't want to participate" and then just uses Kamui to be intangible until people leave him alone. If it's not another time-traveler or Madara, he's not interested. He doesn't even care that much about Sai or Yamato, actually, so if it's not an original T7 member, he doesn't care, and if it's Madara, he's just here to make things Difficult.

The Kyuubi wanders up to the Uchiha compound one day and everyone's preparing for a battle, even Madara isn't confident that he can-- [BANG] "KURAMA!" [delighted squealing]

Naruto now has a pet. The entire clan is terrified. Kurama pokes his nose at Naruto's stomach and disappears into the memory of a seal.

Madara, frantically writing a letter to Hashirama "What do I do if my toddler is possessed?!?"

Hashirama: You have a toddler?!?!?! OMG you should organize playdates with Tobirama's kids! Madara: I'M GOING TO QUESTION THAT LATER, PLEASE HELP WITH THE POSSESSION THING

Kurama hunts down Naruto, and the Jinchuuriki situation is very much in the realm of "Dis Mine" Also a bit of "If I'm in the brat, there's at least one Mangekyo user in hearing distance who can and will risk his life to prevent brainwashing. (Kakashi. It’s Kakashi.)

Naruto: Kurama's one of my best friends! Every time traveler: Yeah, that tracks. Madara: [teakettle screeching]

Per @firebirdeternal​: I'm just loving the visual of Giant Nightmare Terror Kurama kneeling down and pressing his nose to Naruto's Smol Chubby Toddler self and closing his eyes while Naruto pets him and giggles and every single battle-ready Uchiha is just. "wat"

Everybody else: Cool so Madara adopted a witch Uchiha Elders: We need to be careful of this horrible creature The younger generation of Uchiha: Okay that was weirdly serene and adorable and frankly the brat is really likeable when he's not being adhd as hell I think this is actually pretty dope.

Madara really wants to be a Good Dad but he has no idea how he ended up being "a dad" in the first place. He just! He cares a lot about this random assortment of kids! Some of them are from prominent clans and there should be search parties for the Senju kid with the Mokuton, or the Hatake brat, or the Uzumaki that doesn't look Uzumaki but definitely feels Uzumaki.... and SURE the only Uchiha of the bunch is a stranger who hates him for no reason Madara can come up with, but! He wants to be a good authority figure!

At least the Uzumaki appreciates that he's trying.

Seriously, though, there are clan kids and nobody’s looking for them, what’s up with that?

Kakashi still has a prize copy of Icha Icha and nobody in the Uchiha compound does a thorough check of his reading material until like three months in.

He is blamed for Naruto developing the Oiroke, because where ELSE would a toddler get such ideas? (Yamato and Obito both tell him he brought this on himself.)

Naruto waits until a Big Important Meeting lets out, something about tithes or a merchant contract, and just pulls a Harem no Jutsu in front of the entire group of Elders And Main Family. First he does a Mass Shadow Clone, which makes everyone turn on Sharingan because Fancy New Techniques to steal! Sure, they were late on the shadow clones, but the kid is clearly gearing up for something! The something is Oiroke.

Anime Nosebleeds everywhere. Most of the elders were hit. Izuna was hit. Madara is not bleeding from the nose, but he is very upset about having semi-accidentally sharingan-memorized his weird adoptee’s Sexy Older Female Alter Ego. There is yelling.

Naruto’s like “Oh, I missed some!” and decides to try again with Reverse Harem no Jutsu because there are old ladies among the Elders, and maybe some straight women representing a guild, and maybe some gay guys he missed! Madara is still not bleeding. (He’s very demi and tbh Naruto only would have succeeded if he’d tried to use Hashirama’s face. Naruto does not know this. He just figures Madara is ace like Sasuke and that no variant is going to work.)

Izuna gets another nosebleed and is just like “Well, this is not how I planned on coming out as bi, but--” “Izuna, I literally do not care about you being bi as long as one of us has an heir at some point, I’m more upset about the fact that my child has been corrupted!”

Back in the Senju compound, there is... a lot of screaming, honestly, but every time Karin and Suigetsu start trying to kill each other again, Tobirama just shrugs and tells them not to break anything.

Very easy-going caretaker, really. He's got some very deadly toddlers in hand, but they're still just toddlers.

Sasuke: Yeah, I might want to go see my clan at some point. Suigetsu: Yeah, I might want to go see my clan at some point. Karin, clinging to Mito: Yeah, I want to go see my clan at some point. Juugo: Please never, ever take me to my clan. Ever. Please. I'll stay with Sasuke, thank you.

Naruto breaks out of the Uchiha compound the first time he enters Sage Mode, several months in (it took a while to get the privacy) because he feels Sasuke and lbr if Naruto knows where Sasuke is, nothing will stop him.

The Uchiha clansmen cannot catch the errant toddler. They fail to inform Madara until Naruto is already in Senju territory because nobody wanted to admit the toddler outmaneuvered them.

Naruto wasn’t sure how to get into the Senju Compound safely so he just goes full Kyuubi, bounds over the wall screaming SASUKEEEEE at the top of his lungs, and then shrinks back down to Tiny Brat size so he could hug his Bestest Friend Ever and cling like a limpet while Sasuke just sighs and stares at the wall.

Sakura ran after him.

Sai painted a bird and Yamato dragged Kakashi onto it to chase Naruto, because Kakashi is at a point of zen regarding Naruto's bullshit and fully trusts the kid to not die.

Obito refuses to look up from whatever he's doing and asks people why they think he cares.

“We told you to look after the toddlers!” “Why would you do that? Seems like poor planning on your part.”

Disappears when nobody's looking. Waits until the Ruckus at the Senju compound (where T7 has crashed in to tackle-hug Sasuke and Madara followed in and proceeded to get shouty, and nobody's dead or battling because they're too confused and also it's a comedy) has started to calm down, and then teleports in and demonstrates Mokuton just to make Madara's life harder when the Senju Elders start demanding answers.

His energy is very "I am here to make Madara's life harder" and Madara still doesn't know what he did wrong.

Madara: That brat has a Sharingan! Tobirama: Well THAT one has Mokuton! Obito: Yamato has it too. [angry teakettle noises]

Madara's first response to seeing Sasuke is to turn to Izuna and point aggressively at the toddler while making a tea-kettle noise "He looks just like you!" "He's four, he barely looks like anything!"

Naruto, tugging at Madara's hakama: You need to make a village with Hashirama so I can see Sasuke more often, cuz I don't wanna ditch you guys, but I gotta see Sasuke! He's my best friend! Madara, who is aware that he could fight this child but really doesn't want to, and also knows that a tantrum thrown by Naruto or Sasuke is capable of leveling mountains: Right, yes, we'll get right on that.

tbh Madara wants the village anyway but "The bijuu-whisperer said he wants it to happen" is a great way to push things forward.

[rose-colored-amy]

So, this is a continuation to my extremely short one-shot Last Moments, Last Regrets, but it can be read as a stand-alone. Regardless, I'll leave the link of that one in here:

Also, thanks to @coeurhh for suggesting I write a second part. You're a sweetheart 🥰

She made a lovely fanart/gif, which I'm also sharing, of course:

Prompt: AU. Sakura's death goes unnoticed to everyone but the squad she protected with her life and Tsunade. Team Kakashi doesn't find out until the very end, when Naruto and Sasuke have already had their fight, and there's nothing to do about it but mourn the absence.

Warning: Mild Sasusaku and lots of angst. Team 7 sort-of-fluff (?)

—Blue Bird, Let Go—

"Hey, bastard... I know they really let us down, the village, I mean."

"Aa... "

"But I really think it's not all that bad. When we were I team, I knew you understood. It felt like having a brother, believe it."

They were watching their lives go by, shadows of unknown faces passing by them, not noticing their pain, or not caring whatsoever. Their backs were touching, but it was all cold and bleak; a bad memory. A clan slaughtered, a demon sealed. Two lonely boys wallowing in their own sadness.

"Well, even if I don't make it, I'm glad it was you, bastard—"

"Shut up, idiot." His voice sounded strained, even for his standards, but Sasuke was so tired he couldn't even bring himself to care.

"We're really dying, ah? Wanna say something? I do have things to say, 'cause there's no way I'm dying—"

"In silence?" Sasuke interrupted, but Naruto payed him no mind.

"Without telling you how much of an asshole you've been! I couldn't even keep my promise to Sakura-chan! She's gonna be so damn mad when she finds out, I'm sure she'll drag me back to life just to cave my face in—" He was rambling at that point, but it was just so comforting and normal to Sasuke that he didn't even acknowledge it anymore.

"Hn. Sakura... She..."

"She still loves you, asshole. I don't have any idea how it can be possible but—"

"I'm sorry..." It sounded rushed, but Naruto heard it perfectly, and in the darkness of their shared consciousness, Sasuke heard a resigned sigh.

"Well, it's not that bad. I cannot imagine dying beside anyone but you, bastard."

"Idiot..." He made a pause. "Me neither."

"You're both a pair of idiots!"

Suddenly, the unreadable mass of unrecognizable faces around them cleared, and one figure stood in front of them, pink eyebrows frowned in annoyance. Though this version of Sakura looked familiar, it was one none of the boys had seen in a long time. Genin, long-haired, Sakura was glaring at them, arms crossed.

"Sakura-chan! What are you doing in here?!"

Her eyes softened. "What, so I'm supposed to let you two die, after everything? No way in hell!"

"Sakura..."

"You!" She pointed at Sasuke, who flinched slightly at her rudeness. "I don't know what the hell happened, but I don't care. Lighten up and start being your moody self. We love you just like that! Don't act so repented and shit! If you're sorry stop looking like a lost puppy and start doing something about it, you asshole!" Her voice was raising with madness and it was slightly off putting to see what used to be a stuttering lovestruck preteen talking to him like that.

Naruto snorted at that, obviously delighted for not being at the receiving end of her wrath for once. It was short-lived, however.

"And you!" She pointed at the blonde; then crossed her arms. He jumped back in fright. "What is this? How dare you even consider dying after you promised to be the best goddamned Hokage in history?! Here I am, rooting for you, while you lay around like a lazy pig with your edgy bro there. You should be ashamed of yourself!" She scoffed.

Naruto's mouth was so wide open he could have caught a fly. "Lazy pig? Are you kidding?!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, half amused, half annoyed. "Edgy?"

Suddenly, the edges of their vision began to blurr, like a genjutsu being unravelled. "Ah, someone came to help you at last." Sakura seemed relieved. Strangely so.

"Hey, Sakura-chan! You know what? You're right. I'll be the best damn Hokage ever, believe it! Just you watch!" He threw a punch to the air.

Seemingly placated and pleased with his answer, she nodded. "I know so." Then, she turned to her other teammate, who was concentrating solely on her face, mismatched eyes softened as they'll ever be. "And you'll make sure he doesn't mess up, right?"

They shared a long silence. There was something strange about Sakura aside her appearance. He could tell. "Hn. I will..."

"Hey! I don't need him watching over—"

"Sure you don't." He countered sarcastically.

"Also..." They turned to her again. "I'm sorry."

"Wha—" Naruto stuttered. "What the hell would you be sorry for, Sakura-chan?! If anything, it's the bastard here who should be apologizing to you!"

"Sakura..." Sasuke seemed to be searching for the right words, but she couldn't let them go without them listening to her. To what she needed them to know. There wasn't much time left after all.

"I'm sorry, because I wasn't what you needed..." She closed her eyes, her pretty minty orbs. Her appearance suddenly shifted, before then now standing her true self, still dressed in the standard shinobi uniform of the alliance. Her forehead protector lost to whoever knows where. "And thank you. You both made me stronger. You made me appreciate what I had. And I'll always, always love you. Our moments together like team seven... I'll treasure them for all eternity."

"Sakura-chan..."

"I know Konoha wasn't the best to you both, but don't forget the good... The wholesome moments. It's all that matters in the end... Our bonds, the bonds you managed to forge with sweat and blood... The world we live in, the world that gave me the chance to meet you. To me, that's to be cherished. Forever."

The white light started overwhelming the rest. Even Sakura's features started dissapearing.

"Live. Just live." For that, she specifically stared at Sasuke, a soft smile playing on her lips. "And thank you."

Sasuke started racing towards her, hand stretched, a forebonding understanding shaking his bones. "Sakura!"

And then, they both lost consciousness.

When they woke up, aside from feeling like shit, the first thing that crossed their minds what the finality of Sakura's words. Tsunade was beside them, patching them up, with Kakashi beside her, silently watching over them.

"About time, brats! What were you think—"

"Baa-san." Naruto interrupted her, his voice the most serious she had heard him until then.

"Where's Sakura?" Sasuke finished for him, his eyes icy and detached, trying to keep his worry at bay.

But she didn't need to answer. Her chakra flow hesitated, spiking with sorrow. Her eyes glistening with unbearable loss. Kakashi, at her side, stared, eyes widened in comprehension.

She was gone by a long shot.

And they were just finding out.

...

Everybody had different ways of dealing with loss. Naruto helped rebuild the village along with everyone else, but he skipped his usual meals, his ramen left forgotten in his kitchen counter. His movements when sparring were sloppy at best, not just because of the new prosthetic limb, but also because his mind was clearly somewhere else. Usually, Shikamaru would drag him out his makeship house, like he had done when Jiraija was gone for good. Sometimes, he would bring Ino with him, who was suspiciously skinny and messier than normal. No makeup covering the dark circles under her eyes.

Kakashi spent more than usual at the memorial stone every day, tracing the newly marked name of the girl who once remained him of Rin but that had come to claim a place for herself in his heart. Also, he took more missions than it was allowed in a month, going so far as to pick up his ANBU mask again, which caused an altercation with Tsunade, who hadn't been sober in a long time and had been hoping to hand the Hokage seat to him.

Sai avoided the color pink for a long time.

Sasuke... Well, he dealed with loss the same as everyone else... Longing for the missing person to be there, itching to have the opportunity to say what he couldn't at the time. Wanting to be alone whenever they would reach for him... And he built a tomb for her in hopes to find some closure. Not that official, because there wasn't a body to bury, and it had no name, but it was enough for him. He would bring with him camellias every day, buying them at the Yamanaka's, where Ino would always glance at him in silent understanding.

One morning, on his way to her tomb, he spotted a young shinobi leaving a white lilly for her. When he came by, the child spoke without a care, like they were acquaintances. "This is Sakura-san's, right?"

"Hn." It wasn't really an answer, but the child seemed to understand anyway.

"You know? Mama and big sister are also buried in these grounds... I always talk to them and tell them about my day and stuff I want them to know!" He turned to the Uchiha, a smirk on his cherubic face. "I'm sure she would appreciate it as well." And just like that, he left without another word.

Sasuke sat on the ground, just in front of the stone, mismatched eyes half lidded. Sensing no one in the vicinity, he exaled a shaky breath, and his dam opened up, the words longing to be said broke the silence he had been wrapping around himself since he knew of her death:

"I miss you... I've been missing you since I first left."

[moonandblossoms]

Don'cha think it's annoying how people compare nobara and sakura and say nobara is 10x cooler and better than sakura events though their different ppl, like wtf??? Sakura is strong and badass already tsk tsk

Its not only you anon, I too feel exactly the same.

Okay anon, I am going to rant a bit here, so please bear with me. I have got sick of these ill-found and rabid comparisons of Nobara and Sakura. I have typed this based on that.

To be honest, both are really good in their own rights. Sakura is a very divisive character and has a diverse of emotions. She is so realistic and I can't even really stress on the fact. Nobara is just normal and doesn't get strayed by emotions that easily, and overall, both are really badass characters. They ARE badass in their own ways, no cap in that. Afterall, they both are from two freaking different verses and have been written by two different authors. Kishimoto sensei's style of writing females are far different from what Gege sensei writes.

What both Nobara and Sakura have undergone are different. People don't factor their circumstances and situations which affected them emotionally. None of Nobara's comrades left her, they were there with her, so Nobara never had the troubles of comrade-betrayal. Nobara's friends were by her side. Her problems are what every Jujutsu sorcerer faced. But the case was different for Sakura. Sasuke left the village and Sakura JUST wanted to save him from his cycle of darkness and its so legit that Sakura wants him back safe. She had to undergo a lot in order to save her comrade. Both her and Naruto, more or less DID have the exact same reasons to get back Sasuke. People call her selfish, when its selfish if its the other way around- to not tag along with Naruto to save Sasuke from his darkness. How on this earth it is selfish when a girl confesses to someone she loves, when she just wants to knock sense into him about her feelings for him during his highly emotionally manipulated state? People just assume that as, "Mwahahahaha, she was confessing in midst of a war arc when Sasuke was going to destroy the world! She still cares only about Sasuke-kun who doesn't even give a F about her!"

Then why did Sasuke get reminded of his family after hearing Sakura's confession? Did they even read the manga where Sasuke DID relate Sakura with his own deceased family for several times? Did they forget the parts where Sasuke was also nice with her during their Genin days and has saved her for several times? So, is it dumb and shallow of Sakura to save Sasuke him in return and still try to get back him after futile attempts when he was her friend and the one she loved? Is there any policy that only the best friend can save, not a lover? Is there any policy that only orphans can help each other? Is there any policy that you should not love a person who rejects you when he is not himself? Is Sakura's feelings for Sasuke an obsession when the authors themselves confirmed that it was love? Are her feelings for Sasuke still shallow when they have CLEARLY been confirmed mature by their voice actors?

They also bring up this statement where Sakura had to be saved for so many times and Nobara handles up everything individually, when they clearly forget the fact that Sakura is a medical ninja, and she is strictly prohibited from fighting in front lines when she appears in a platoon (exception being in the Kazekage arc where she and Chiyo Basama were the only people fighting Sasori so she had no other option), whereas Nobara had no such restrictions and showed up as and when she pleased. Sakura can only break the rules of medical ninjutsu when she gets the Byakugou seal and she did a great contribution in the war arc (the time when she got the seal). But, weren't there instances where even Nobara had to be saved by Megumi and also by other teammates (during the goodwill arc and maybe the others)?

"DoN't tHinK thAt NoBarA iS aNoTHeR SuCKuRa, iTs An iNsult tO coMparE a pInK tRaSh wItH a bAdASs WoMaN. SuCkURa WaS iN LoVe WiTH aN iNtErnATionaL TerRorIst, NoBaRa wAs CoOL AnD shE wAs wAyY moRe iNdEpenDent!"

😑😑

Its okay, telling which character is better is highly-opinionated but please don't make Sakura fans believe as if its a fact. Every person has their own opinions and standards, just because someone is better than the other, you can't degrade the other to the extreme. Nobara might be better, but how does it make Sakura bad? What is more wrong is, they sometimes compare the 12 year old Sakura with a 16 year old Nobara, how odd? A 12 year old girl is way different from a 16 year old one. Did we ever know how Nobara was when she was 12?

They only translate Sasuke as an international terrorist when he didn't even kill as many people when compared to other villains and there were a few scenes where Sasuke reminisced his team.

Its just haters don't understand her personal problems and others. She had self-confidence issues, but people don't factor it in the story. And, fans too tell that she loves Sasuke for literally no reason when Sasuke has approached her for several times and saved her!

Should Nobara or Sakura be the carbon copies of each other? Can't they have any differences to make each of them have an individuality for themselves? Just because Sakura was in love with Sasuke, how does it make Nobara infinite times better than Sakura? Did her feelings for Sasuke ever degrade her performance? Wasn't it mentioned in the first databook that her feelings for Sasuke was what actually pushed her to become a great kunoichi?

THEN HOW ON THE EARTH IT IS WRONG TO SAVE AND FALL FOR A PERSON BECAUSE OF WHOM YOU HAVE COME SO FAR?

How on the earth it is immature for Sakura to break her feelings for a man because of whom she came a long way?

How does it make one worse than the other when they had different ways of becoming strong?

How on the earth is Sakura inferior to Nobara just because one was in love and the other wasn't?

If haters tell that Nobara is in a different league, then why they themselves get reminded of Sakura when they see her? 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

If Nobara is the person that Sakura can never be, then Sakura is the person that Nobara never can be too.

Just got miffed up with baseless comparisons. Both of them are my queens and I stan them all time.

[cobaltusami]

Mercy

Hey hi hello! I finally finished my Danganronpa Trigger Happy Havoc fanfic, It took me a literal week. I've been in a bit of a writing slump, But I hope this long fic makes up for my lack of writing!

Words: 3654

Characters: Switch!Mondo, Switch!Taka, Leon

Makoto was just minding his own business, He was walking to the dining hall with Sayaka just chatting about whatever came to mind when it started.

The closer they got the louder the voices were. He couldn’t distinguish who the other person In the argument was through the thick walls, But could clearly make out Mondo’s swearing.

“Do you… Hear something?” Sayaka asked, Putting a hand on Makoto and stopping both of them In their tracks.

“Yeah, Sounds like someone’s arguing with Mondo.” Makoto murmured as he closed his eyes in an attempt to make out what was being said.

For a moment the words got louder and clearer, But quickly became muffled again. As Makoto opened his eyes again he saw Yasuhiro standing In front of the closed doors. “What’s going on In there?” Makoto asked curiously.

“Ugh. Mondo and Kiyotaka are getting Into It In there.” Hiro sighed. “The energy In there Is like, Super negative. I wouldn’t go In there If I were you.”

He patted Makoto on the shoulder as walked past back to his room.

“We should go In there.”

“Are you sure? I mean last time I tried to diffuse a situation involving Mondo I got knocked out.” Makoto laughed nervously, Rubbing the back of his neck.

“You might be able to talk Taka down though.” She suggested, A bright smile on her face.

‘Somehow I sincerely doubt that.’

With a nod and a sigh, Makoto pulled the doors open and stepped In with The pop star.

It was much louder In the dining hall, Taka and Mondo were yelling at each other back and forth In front of their friends.

Makoto left Sayaka’s side and approached the duo warily. He didn’t get too close though before a hand tugged on his arm, Pulling him to a stop.

“Don’t get too close.”

The Ultimate turned to Sakura who had been the one to warn him, She had her eyes carefully trained on the two bickering students. She looked as if she were ready to jump In to separate the two at a moment's notice.

“How long have they been arguing?” The brunette asked, Stealing glances at his friends.

“At least ten minutes.” Hina spoke up from her spot next to Sakura. “They started fighting over who was better.”

“Again?”

“Yes.” Sakura responded.

“Man, This is getting old.” Leon sighed. “Sakura, Why don’t we just separate them now?” He asked, turning to the Ultimate Martial artist.

She glanced at him for a moment before looking back to Mondo and Taka. “And do what, Exactly? They need to work this out for themselves or the fighting will never end.”

She has a point…

“They should just have a stupid competition and get It over with.” Hina huffed. “Seriously, Their bickering Is ruining my donut eating session.”

“Don’t you eat Donuts all the time?” Leon asked, Exasperated.

“Also yes.” Sakura spoke up again, Smirking in amusement as Asahina pouted and grumbled to herself. She reached out and patted the Swimmer affectionately on the shoulder.

“Well,” Sayaka spoke up for the first time since entering the room. “When my group would be upset, We’d find things to do to alleviate the negativity.”

“Like what?” Leon asked curiously, taking his eyes off of the Ultimate’s before him.

The Idol hummed thoughtfully as she recalled all the group activities. “Well, We would talk about our feelings, Gossip…”

“Anything that might help this situation?” Makoto asked.

“Well, I remember one time I was really mad at a few of my friends And to make me forget about how angry I was and realize how stupid our argument had been, They ended up tickling me until I felt better.” Sayaka responded calmly, As If this were a totally normal thing.

“T-Tickling?” Leon stuttered. “You can’t be serious.”

“Sayaka, I don’t think that’s going to work…” The Ultimate Lucky student mumbled, A little embarrassed at the mention of the word.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but… That might actually work.” Sakura interjected. “Maybe not In the same approach but the laughter should produce enough Dopamine to snuff out some of the Adrenaline they have.”

“Meaning…?” Hina asked quietly.

“Oh, I gotcha. They can’t be mad If they’re too busy laughing?” Leon asked.

“Correct.”

“How do we get them to go for that?” Makoto asked.

“I’m on It!” Hina jumped up, Suddenly very enthusiastic as she approached the pair. Makoto and Leon both exchanged worried looks.

“H-Hina wait!” Sakura tried to stop her friend but she was already actively ignoring everyone else.

“Should we… Stop her?” Makoto asked, To which Leon shrugged.

With a sigh the Martial artist watched even closer than before. Just what Is she up to?

After a few attempts at gaining their attention, Hina stepped In between them and yelled as loudly as she could muster. “BOYS!!!”

Taka was the first to notice her. “A-Asahina!?”

“WHAT?!” Mondo yelled back.

“Your yelling Is super annoying.” Aoi chastised them both, Crossing her arms. “Why not just settle this stupid argument with an Endurance contest? Whoever gives up first loses.”

“Hey, That’s a great idea. Then I can prove once and for all that I’m better than your dumbass.” Mondo smirked at Kiyotaka who rolled his eyes at the Biker.

“What kind of Endurance contest do you propose?” He asked the swimmer.

Aoi grinned, Her eyes glinting with mischief. “How about tickling? Whoever says mercy the fastest loses!”

Mondo and Taka exchanged glances. “That’s fucking stupid.” The biker replied, Uninterested, But that changed however when he noticed Taka looking a bit worried at the mention of Tickling.

“Y-Yeah, I don’t see how It’s supposed to be an endurance challenge! One has to be… Sensitive, In order for that to work out In the first place!” Taka stuttered nervously, Trying desperately to keep his composure. “R-Right…?”

He has a damn good reason to be worried, Kiyotaka Ishimaru Is immensely ticklish, In fact It’s nearly impossible to find a spot on the boy that Isn’t ticklish.

“Hey! It’s a perfectly good Endurance challenge! Right Sakura?” Aoi called out to her best friend, Ignoring that comment about sensitivity.

“Yes, But It’s not so much a physical endurance challenge as It is a mental one, It’s about pushing limits.” She complied.

“Yeah! She would know about pushing limits!” Aoi smiled, Going back over to Sakura. “Tell them!”

“I… Just did.”

“Not that, I meant that story you told me about Ke--”

Sakura quickly put a hand over Hina’s mouth, She appeared calm despite freaking out internally. “Karate.” She blushed, Not wanting anyone else to know the story about Kenshiro that Hina almost just blabbed. “Similarly to Karate, If you want to prove who’s better, What better way than to push past even your opponents limits?”

Leon and Makoto exchanged looks again, This time intrigued. Evidently they both picked up on the odd response.

Mondo looked back at Taka, Who despite his best efforts, Looked incredibly nervous as his window for escape kept getting smaller and smaller. “You look a little nervous, Ishimaru… Don’t tell me you’re ticklish.” He smirked as Taka’s face went red.

“W-What?! Me?! D-Don’t be preposterous!” Kiyotaka retorted. “W-What about you? Are you…?”

“Tch. As If. You think someone as tough as me Is fucking ticklish?” Mondo brushed off the comment, Playing It cool despite lying and being completely and utterly ticklish.

Aoi finally removed Sakura’s hand to dish out another embarrassing comment. “I mean, Sakura’s tougher than you are and she’s ticklish.”

Sakura was too late to stop her this time. Her face went red as everyone quickly looked at her in disbelief. “Don’t look at me like that.” She mumbled. “It was a long time ago.”

Not wanting to press their luck and get their asses kicked for teasing the powerful student, They turned back to what they were doing.

There was almost an unnervingly teasing edge to Mondo’s words as he spoke In a low voice. “So? Whaddya say Kiyotaka? Think you can outlast me?”

No, No he doesn’t. But he’s out of excuses to back out now so he gave a small nod. “O-Of course! I’m much stronger than you are!”

“I doubt that very much.” Mondo smirked, Glancing to Aoi. “You’re the one who suggested It, What do we do?”

Hina turned to Sakura to ask her opinion, But she looked too embarrassed to say anything, So she turned her attention to Sayaka. “What do you think?”

“Maybe set a timer and time how long the person lasts? and have one tickle the other?”

Mondo gave a rather sinister smirk to Taka. “Works for me.”

“W-Wait a moment! How Is that fair? I’ve never actually done this to someone before!”

“And you think I look like the kind of fucking person who goes around tickling people for shits and giggles?” The Biker scoffed.

“I mean, If you need help I can show you how to do it.” Leon volunteered.

“If you value your life you won’t get Involved.” Mondo warned.

“Now that that’s out of the way.” Makoto intervened. “Who wants to go first...?”

“We’re seriously going to do this? D-Don’t you feel the least bit… Childish?” Taka made one last attempt, And Mondo wasted no time crushing it.

“If you’re scared you can always just admit I’m better.”

Kiyotaka glanced around the room at their classmates before sighing and resigning himself to his fate. Either way his secret is going to get out, But at least this way he can take Mondo down with him. “Very well!” He shot back, Pushing aside his nervousness. “I will go first! This should be easy enough.”

While Taka wasn’t paying attention, Mondo had silently moved behind him. Smirking as he listened to Taka continue on with his self pep talk.

“I mean, It’s just tickling, How bad could It beeeEEE!” Taka squealed In surprise and quickly brought his shoulders up as he felt fingers flutter over his neck for a moment.

Mondo snorted in amusement, clearly proud of himself for producing that reaction. “I thought you said you weren’t ticklish earlier?” He asked teasingly.

“You just startled me!” He shot back, Though he was unable to hide the blush that formed.

Mondo rolled his eyes, smirking at the Ultimate Moral Compass. “Whatever,” He paused for a moment, Thinking about how he wanted to do this. He reached around Ishimaru and began to tauntingly unbutton his jacket.

“What are you doing??” Taka demanded.

“I’m having a fucking pool party-- What’s It look like I’m doing?!” Mondo retorted.

“Pool party???” Hina perked up at the mention.

“H-Hina… No.” Sakura sighed, Exasperated.

“I’m undoing your jacket so I can reach more spots.” The biker explained, Undoing the final button revealing a white shirt underneath. “There. Now then… Who’s keeping track?”

“I got you.” Leon volunteered, Whipping his phone out of his pocket and fiddling with it for a second. “Okay, Whenever you two are ready.”

“Are you ready to admit defeat?” Mondo whispered in his ear, The feeling of his warm breath against his neck sending chills down his spine. “Remember, The magic word for when you’re screaming your lungs out with laughter Is ‘Mercy.’”

Taka shivered, Closing his eyes and taking a small breath. “I am ready to begin, Leon!”

“Startiiiinnnng… now.” Leon announced, Hitting the start button on the stopwatch app.

Mondo wasted no time, His fingers skittering across Taka’s stomach with careless abandon. He smirked at the way the Red eyed student flinched and trembled under his touch.

“S-See? This Is pointless. I am fine.” Taka struggled to maintain his composure, He clenched his jaw to keep any whimpers or other embarrassing sounds from escaping.

Mondo winked at Leon as he slowed his fingers. “You’re right, I guess this Isn’t going to--” He stopped mid sentence to shove his hands under Taka’s shirt, and dug his fingers into his sides.

That’s all It took for Taka to crumble, He let out a scream and fell back against the Ultimate Biker’s chest laughing. “N-NOHOHO! MOHOHOHNDO!” He cried out, His hands grabbing uselessly at the tickling appendages.

“Well well… Looks like someone’s pretty fuckin’ ticklish.” Mondo smirked victoriously, His fingers squeezing at Taka’s bare sensitive sides without mercy.

In an attempt to escape the tickles, Taka sank to the floor. Mondo however, followed, not letting up for a moment. “Where do you think you’re going?” He teased. “You’re not getting out of this that easily.”

The Ultimate Hall Monitor flailed helplessly, Laughing hysterically as he did. “PLEHEHEHEASE!”

“Begging already? Man, this Is gonna be easy.” Mondo chuckled, Brushing his fingers teasingly across his stomach. “Just say mercy and this will all be over.”

“N-Nohohoho! I won’t gihihihive up!” He tried to curl In on himself but Mondo was quick to sit on his thighs to stop him.

“Fine, Guess I’ll just have to kick It up a notch then.” Mondo smirked, Tracing his fingertips up and down his sides. This action drew a squeal from the uptight student. “You seem to be pretty ticklish here. You got ticklish sides, Ishimaru?”

“N-Nohohohot particularly!” He lied. His sides were one of his worst spots.

“You’re a terrible fucking liar.” The biker scoffed, Tickling his sides much more vigorously, he honed in on a particularly sensitive spot just under his ribs.

“KYAHAHAHAHA! NAHAHAHAHA!” Taka’s face went red as he began flailing again, Mondo jolted back, narrowly missing a hand to the face.

“You’re kind of dangerous when tickled, Aren’tcha?” He chuckled, His fingers rhythmically massaging circles into the sensitive skin.

Taka couldn’t remember the last time he laughed this much or this hard, His lungs were burning and his sides were beginning to ache. He’d been tickled In the past by his parents, But never this brutally or for this long.

Tears pricked the corners of his eyes and his small gasps for breath became more frequent. Every nerve In his body was on fire. He knew he couldn’t last much longer.

Mondo knew this as well. “Squirm all you want, The only way to make this stop Is to say the magic word.” He teased. “I could keep tickling you for hours.”

He emphasized this by kneading his sides rather meanly, Sending ticklish shockwaves coursing through the laughing student below him.

He broke almost instantly, with a scream of laughter. “NAAAHAHA! MERCY! MERCYEHEHEHEHE!”

Almost begrudgingly, Mondo let up on the merciless tickles and moved off of Taka. “What was his time?” He asked Leon casually, Hiding his disappointment quite well.

Leon glanced at his phone screen again after hitting stop. “I’m not telling until after you go.” He grinned.

“What?! How am I supposed to know how long to last?”

“You don’t. I’ll tell you once you’ve beaten Taka’s time.” The redhead responded slyly. “It shouldn’t be a problem for someone like you, Right?”

He shoved his phone back Into his pocket and turned to Makoto. “You keep track of Mondo’s time.”

Makoto nodded and set up the app as he was told.

“Fine. Let’s get this over with.” Mondo rolled his eyes and laid down on the floor next to Taka, Who had finally caught his breath and gotten rid of the ghost tingles.

The Ultimate Moral compass sat up, thinking carefully. He still wasn’t entirely sure how to go about tickling Mondo, But he had a bit of an idea after that.

Leon came over, Not that Mondo had noticed due to him closing his eyes to brace himself. The former Baseball star leaned In close to Taka and whispered. “I’ll help you. Basically, Mondo Is super ticklish on his stomach and under his arms.” He explained, Glancing at the student in question.

“He’s super weak to light teasy touches on his stomach, Like this.” He demonstrated by lightly running his fingertips across the back of Taka’s hand. “Also, teasing him verbally literally kills him.”

Taka nodded as he took In all of this information. More eager than before to try.

Just as Mondo was opening his eyes to question them, Leon had pinned his arms above his head. “Hey there!” He greeted cheerfully, a wide grin on his face as he received a death glare.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing!?” Mondo snapped, tugging at his arms uselessly.

“Helping the opposition, What do you think I’m doing?” He asked innocently.

“I swear to God, I will fucking end you!”

Taka sat next to the angry biker on the floor, watching the two go back and forth for a moment longer before calling over his shoulder. “Makoto! I am ready!”

“O-Okay! Stopwatch started!”

Wasting no further time, Taka began fluttering his fingers ever so lightly across Mondo’s toned stomach, making shivers run down his spine as he tried to squirm away from the delicate touches.

The biker tried to resist, But try as he may, he soon began sputtering out giggles and threats. Though not really directed at Taka. “Leheheheon, You behehetter be thinking about what you want to say to gohohod because you’re gonna meet him today!”

“Taka, He’s still threatening me, I don’t think he’s laughing hard enough.” Leon tried to say seriously, But the grin on his face betrayed his words.

“I agree! I think I know how to fix that!” Taka smirked, Darting his fingers underneath Mondo’s jacket and launching an attack under his arms.

Mondo let out a shriek and tugged roughly at his trapped arms to no avail. “NO! NOHOHOT THERE!” He barked out between laughs.

Taka’s fingers were clumsy at first, But he quickly adapted, finding spidering motions to be the most effective technique. “Why not? This seems like a very sensitive spot. I think It would benefit me to stay here.”

“THIS IHIHIHSN’T FAHAHAIR!” He complained, Burying his face in his sleeve to hide his growing blush. “IHIHIT’S TWO ON ONE!”

“Hey, I’m just helping because Taka’s never tickled anyone before. I’m making things fair if anything.” Leon retorted. “Besides, I haven’t tickled you. I’m just holding you down. This Is all Kiyotaka.”

“That’s right! The rules never stated anything about restraint.” Taka smiled tauntingly, Applying a bit more pressure and mimicking the massaging motions Mondo used against him earlier.

“GAH! NAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“I bet that tickles like hell. It looks like It tickles.” Leon teased.

“STAHAHAHAHAHAP!” He pressed out between fits of laughter.

“Taka, Try his belly again. Now that he’s laughing, He shouldn’t be able to hold back.” the Ultimate Baseball star encouraged.

Ishimaru did as instructed, His fingers brushing teasingly against his stomach. This drew a squeal from the feared Biker gang leader’s lips.

“FUHUHUHUHUCK! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! TAHAHAHAKA STAHAHAHAP!” He cackled as he felt fingers delicately dancing across his skin.

“I’ll only stop If you say Mercy!” Taka reminded, Continuing his soft torturous tickles.

An Idea came to mind, A rather cruel one. Taka recalled a time when he was a child and was playing with his mom, he remembered how badly It tickled when she blew a raspberry on his belly and wondered If that would work here too. “L-Leon, You know that thing where someone presses their lips against your skin and makes a weird sound? What Is that called?”

“Eh?” Leon looked up at him curiously, Pondering for a moment. But a rather evil smile crossed his face as he came to the realization. “Oh, You mean raspberries, Don’t you?”

“Raspberries, Yes! How do I do that?”

“It’s simple really--”

“NONONO DOHOHOHON’T YOU DAHAHAHARE YOU SON OF A BIHIHIHITCH!” Mondo threw out an empty warning, His struggling intensifying.

Leon laughed. “You press your mouth to their skin, And blow. That’s it. Oh, When you do It, Make sure you tickle him with your hands somewhere too, That’ll really drive him nuts.”

Kiyotaka nodded, Eagerly he bent down and pressed his lips against his quivering stomach. This action alone drew a string of unmanly giggles and squeals from him.

The first few attempts weren’t so successful, but he finally figured it out and blew a raspberry against his stomach, while at the same time digging his fingers into his underarms.

“NAAHAHAHAHAHA! MERCY! OHOHO GOHOHOD STAHAHAHAP!” He screamed with laughter.

Taka relented, Pulling back with a victorious smile on his face. Leon released his arms and immediately dove for shelter In the form of hiding behind Sakura.

The others laughed at this.

Makoto was about to say something but Sayaka silently shushed him.

“Y-You’re fucking evil.” Mondo said breathlessly, pointing an accusing finger at him.

“S-So are you. I still feel the tingles on my sides.” Taka shivered at the recollection.

The Biker leader sat up and they locked eyes for a minute, Silent as they studied each other's reactions. Soon another round of laughter filled the room as they laughed at the absurdity of the situation.

“I’m sorry man, I guess I was kind of being a dick.” Mondo apologized.

“N-No, You’re fine! I apologize! I suppose I don’t know when to ‘take It easy’ as you put It.” Taka also apologized.

Mondo hooked his arm around Taka’s shoulders and pulled him to him. “That’s alright, I can teach ya bro!” He grinned.

“R-Really? Thank you bro!” The strict student beamed back.

“Oh God. They’ve become the other extreme now.” Aoi mumbled.

“I’ll never understand how male friendships work.” Sakura sighed, Hina giggled In response. “But, If they’re done fighting then… I suppose It’s all right that I don’t understand.”

Makoto looked at Leon. “Do you think they even still care about who won or lost?”

“Nope.” Leon snickered. “You wanna know just for the hell of It?”

Makoto nodded with a small chuckle.

“It was--”

“For our first hang out,” Mondo said loudly, on purpose. He locked eyes with Leon, Who had peaked out from behind Sakura to look at him. “Wanna help me get revenge on a certain Redhead?”

Leon squeaked as Taka also looked at him with a rather mischievous glimmer In his eyes.

“Yeah, Let’s get him.”

[bunny-hoodlum]

Asynchronous With You: Ch 6

ship: naruhina

rating: teen (quite possibly mature or explicit later)

tags: Modern Day AU, Foster Siblings, Family, Angst, Unrequited Love, Poor Communication, Missed Opportunities

summary: An awkward journey full of self-denial and missed moments between two foster siblings. Perhaps their love will find the right timing someday.

"I think everyone should know," she said.

They were walking the usual route to their high school, the train station coming up ahead. Naruto kept a protective though furtive gaze on Hinata as he walked behind her on the steps.

He swore she's never modified her skirt. It would be against the dress code she's forced to protect. So he has no idea why it feels like he's seeing more of her than usual.

"Know what?"

Usually he's already doing this, because he's worried about perverts. Even in grade school, he was worried. If it weren't for their teachers educating them on Stranger Danger, he probably would have had to do it himself.

He had to learn it the hard way before Kurenai-obasan took him in, but so did Neji apparently. That's why he's gotten good at being less obvious with his suspicion, and also why he can better tell apart intent based on their body language.

He used to perceive everything around him to be potentially malicious. He never realized the toll that had been taking on him until Neji taught him how to really see.

He stood close behind her on the platform as they waited.

"That we're fosters."

A burst of wind shot through the platform, ruffling overcoats and business suits and whipping pleated skirts and loose hair in a sudden frenzy.

The PA announced the train's arrival, and it wheezed to a stop soon after.

He observed Hinata as she flattened her skirt down and smoothed her bangs, but none of it registered in his brain.

It was simply auto-pilot for him to follow her onto the train, then using his larger frame to block the other passengers from nearing his little sister.

Right. His foster sister.

In all of their nine years together, they've never told anyone. It wasn't that it seemed weird, it just… never occurred to them?

But now it did seem pretty weird.

"Why, though? In a couple years, it's not going to matter anymore."

She turned her face against her shoulder to look at him, but he didn't know what she was thinking. It was the same schooled features she put on last night when visiting Neji, like there was a one-way mirror and only she could see through him.

Then she looked away.

"You're not going to introduce a girlfriend to Kurenai one of these days?"

"Hmm?" The suggestion bloomed in his mind and quickly withered. The idea wasn't… very appealing. Something about inviting judgment onto his life and stuff. He defends himself in every aspect but at home, and he'd rather keep coasting on the good thing he's got. "Dunno. Hadn't ever thought about it."

He certainly wasn't going to introduce any of the one's he's taken to bed when the apartment was empty. He's rarely done it with the same girl twice, mainly because he can't help but lose interest.

He blames it on sexual incompatibility.

"Well, I know I will."

He misses the melancholy hedging around her words, and latches onto the opportunity for an easy ribbing.

"You're gonna bring a girlfriend over?" he's happy she shoots him a look so that she can see his corny grin, otherwise he worried she might've mistaken him for serious.

He's nonplussed by the severity of her glare, but then she says "Maybe when you're not around," and he no longer knows what to think.

"Wait, what? Hinata?" He's craning left and right in hopes of catching a smirk or a giggle from her, but she's evasive. Has she? "Hinata, are you--?" And since third grade she said? "Also, what's that supposed to mean 'when I'm not around'? Huh? Hey, what's that supposed to mean 'when I'm not around'?? Hinata???"

"We're getting off topic--"

"Bullshit! I have questions!"

She ignored him.

"I vote to tell our friends that we're fosters. And I'd like to have it taken care of during Lunch. What's your vote?"

Is this what she sounds like during her Public Morals Committee meetings? Because it was doing something to him.

Oh, right. She wanted an honest answer.

But… "What do you get out of announcing this? I mean, aside from knowing how to introduce me in the future or whatever. Have you thought this through at all?"

What's the rest of the school going to say?

The guys who share their skin mags with him might get wary and reject him. The girls he's dumped might try to get to him through her. Teachers might give up on disciplining him, essentially offloading their responsibilities onto her as both Public Morals Committee and his sister. And he wasn't having any of that shit again.

All kinds of things could bite them in the ass one way or another.

She hasn't replied to him at all, and he thinks she's upset again, but he has to make his point.

"Hinata, the way things are now isn't broken, so what are you trying to fix?"

"It would help me."

"Huh? How? With what?" He waited, and she was silent. A drop of dread sank in his chest for her. "So something is wrong," He leaned in closer, causing her to shrink. He sighed. "Hinata, for someone who wants the world to know we're fosters, you sure don't seem willing to rely on me like a sibling."

"I don't favor Neji-niisan over you."

"Yeah, well, you don't have to," Tension clutched at their throats. "People always have more history with their blood. I can't really compete, y'know?"

He can't compete at all, actually.

Sometimes he thinks his only true brother is Sasuke, but he still wants to work at this. She just has to let him.

"I'm sorry. I just thought it would be less lonely if we could talk to each other normally again. And we only see each other at school these days, so…"

He envisioned her waving to him in the halls between periods, or her having a reason to cheer him on during a deadlift tournament. It would prevent people from making the wrong idea about them.

Damn, he felt stupid now.

"Fine!" He intoned with mock-annoyance. "If it'll make you happy."

She looked over her shoulder again, and what she found was his warm, supportive smile.

________________________

Hinata gathered her friends, Kiba, Shino, Ino and Sakura.

And he gathered his friends, Sasuke, Shikamaru, and Chouji.

Ino had tsked in distaste when she saw Sasuke, had gone as far as to drag Sakura away so that the others sat in-between them. He caught some sort of nickname from her lips, but wasn't sure what she had really said.

As Naruto stood before them alongside Hinata, his gaze fell on the skinny lad scribbling away at his sketchbook, and immediately his fight instinct was switched on.

"What's your monochromatic ass doing here??! Did anyone invite him?!" He jabbed a finger in Sai's direction.

The monotone, softboy, little creep didn't even look up.

"I'm making a record of these proceedings for posterity," he lifted the sketchpad and flipped it around.

Inkified Naruto was pointing right back at him with an agape snarl. Sai then proceeded to show everyone else individually, and they all cracked up, one by one.

Ino was absolutely dying. Stomach-clutching and tears rolling, the whole nine yards. She snatched the sketchpad from Sai and begged if she could keep it.

"Whaddya want that for??" Naruto interrogated. He was so about to punch Sai and throw his art supplies in the pool. This was Hinata's announcement and the softboy was ruining it.

Ino mockingly tilted the sketchbook side to side. "Something to keep your ego in check, Charato."

Hinata faintly snorted. He wasn't sure until he saw how she had her face turned around and her shoulders were lightly trembling.

He frowned at her, feeling betrayed.

"Ahhhh, alright, enough! Me and Hinata have gathered you all here for a reason! So shut up and listen! Hinata, tell them!"

Hinata jolted out of her humor, her face flushing as though this were the first time she's done public speaking.

"Uh, Uhm… Naruto-kun and I… we're foster siblings. We, uh… we live together," Hinata froze up under their collective stares. With a stiff smile, she half-heartedly sang "Ta-da," and punctuated it with rather embarrassed jazz hands.

"And as our friends, you're the first to know," Naruto added. "Also we don't care if the whole school finds out. So don't worry, we're not sharing this out of confidentiality."

Their collective shock evaporated rather quickly.

Sakura was the first to speak. "Well, that answers a lot of questions. And raises plenty more." She ended it with a growl and a glare. That accusatory look irked him.

"Feel free to ask away! I've got nothin' to hide!"

Sakura flattened the back of her skirt as she rose up like a dignitary representing The House of Hyuuga. And then like a certain video game attorney, she pointed at him.

"I always wondered why you obsessively protected Hinata in the past, but never showed any romantic initiative towards her. Now I have to ask, knowing the sex maniac that you are: Do you ever sneak into her bedroom?"

"No," He answered unconvincingly. He looked at the jury one by one, unsure how much of their scrutiny was sincere or misperceived. Sasuke was leaning forward, arms circling around his knees. He looked a little too interested in the idea of him and Hinata… doing things… "I-I've never done that! I would never do that! Hinata's special to me, okay?! You've got a filthy fuckin' mind, Haruno!"

"Me?! You've tried to sneak into the female locker rooms!" Sakura took off her shoe and slugged it at him. "Multiple times!"

Naruto hunched up and twisted away as the shoe smacked his shoulder and bounced away.

Hinata moved in between him and the one-woman mob. "Okay, this is getting out of hand--"

"I will never fucking do that to Hinata. I was in an orphanage for six years. And they're not all run by saints."

Dammit.

This was way more than he ever wanted to share.

He took a few steps back before turning tail. He jogged downhill as fast as he could.

What was he doing?

Uzumaki Naruto doesn't run away.

But it was either that, or… have them watch him cry.

________________________

AN: So this is missing a scene cuz I cut it. I might not use it anymore, and instead I'll see if the backstory I had expanded upon will be worked in later on in the plot. Because before I started writing this, I had anticipated that things would actually get cuter from here on out. (Also anticipating that I may work in at least one smutty chapter in the future. Yeah, it's totally diverging from this fic's original concept when I posted it for Secret Santa, but that's okay!) And the total Ego Death I unexpectedly wrote just feels kind of Deus Ex Machina in a way to Naruto's vices. I just can't have him maturing right now. That's a plot route I don't have any material for, and I don't quite see it as not defeating the other stuff I had planned to write. (I'm also happy to state that I'm starting to get a better picture of how to condense this content on AO3, because I honestly feel like this could be Ch. 2 now. :B I mean, it's too short on its own if I do, but it kinda has that hook for the rest of the story.)

I hope you enjoyed this update! 😘💕💕💕

[speuradair]

Breathless | B.T.

A Byakuya x reader mini fic based on prompt 47 from this list ♡

“A kiss paired with a tight hug, knocking the breath out of the person being hugged”

Word Count: 2k

Contains: vague Trigger Happy Havoc spoilers (?), Tw Anxiety description, mild swearing

Ding dong

Ding dong

The out of place, far too cheery jingle of the morning announcement rang out of the TV, pulling you from your restless, fitful sleep.

It was seven already? You were sure that Byakuya had said he’d come to meet you at 6:45 before this morning’s meeting.

Last night you'd had a particularly nasty anxiety attack, and he'd assured you that he'd stay with you today to make sure you were faring as well as possible.

 Yet you’d been left to wake up to the sound of Monokuma’s morning announcement, with your boyfriend running at least fifteen minutes late. That couldn't be right, Byakuya Togami was never late. And there, as if right on cue, that incessant worry tugged at you, choking the air out of your lungs.

You squeezed your eyes shut again, taking three deep breaths and trying to calm yourself down a bit like he would always tell you to. There had to be a rational, non-fatal reason that he hadn't come to wake you up. 

Everything at this school had you completely on edge, and it didn't take much anymore to send you right into a panic attack. Your stomach was in a consistent state of nauseating uneasiness, and your chest often burned in relentless anticipation. You were well aware that you had gone into full paranoia at that point, and while that wasn't unprecedented in this killing game, you also knew that being skittish and distracted wasn't doing you any favors. If you had any intention of defending yourself and doing your part in this investigation, it was necessary to stay as rational and level headed as possible. 

Taking another deep breath, you tried to think of all the other possible reasons he wasn't here. Maybe he had gotten distracted by a sudden lead on the mastermind, or maybe he'd been held up by Toko or her equally-as-obsessive counterpart. While you weren't fond of her being so infatuated with your boyfriend, that idea was still much more pleasant than your initial assumption. 

One thing you were sure of was that waiting timidly in your room wasn't going to solve anything. He'd probably just gone directly to the cafeteria to meet you, and you'd misunderstood what he'd said last night. That was entirely possible, it was hard to focus when the anxiety took over. 

That's what he did, right? It had to be. He wasn't hurt, you'd just gotten confused. 

After taking a moment to convince yourself of that, you stood to your feet and headed to the cafeteria yourself. 

Though, he wasn't there either. Granted, he hadn’t shown up to a few of the meetings recently, but it was odd that he hadn’t come today after specifically promising you he would. While he usually did whatever he wanted, he was always a man of his word. Subconsciously, your fingers restlessly toyed with the hem of your shirt as the sick feeling in your stomach slowly made itself more prominent. 

 “Ugh! This is why it’s a pain having such flaky friends!” Aoi groaned, sounding more annoyed than concerned. For once, you hoped he had just flaked out on you. 

“We have no choice but to wait for everyone else to arrive.” Sakura was right. It was only fifteen after seven; the others were probably just late. With the general bloody-minded attitude around lately, it wasn’t unreasonable to think that they just weren’t being rigid with timing anymore. Maybe you'd gotten more confused than you'd thought, and he said he'd meet you after the meeting. Right. That had to be it, right? There was no need to panic yet. So you hesitantly sat down next to Makoto at the table and attempted to quell the increasing tightness in your chest.

~

“Hey, it’s already eight.. They’re over an hour late…” Aoi finally pointed out, cutting into the silence to say what everyone else was thinking. The hollow small talk had died off fairly quickly, leaving the five of you in an uncomfortable quiet as you all tried not to think about what had actually stopped the five others from coming. 

“Why has nobody else come?�� Sakura’s voice was softer than usual. 

“Something’s happened.”

“What?” Makoto sounded shocked as he processed what Kirigiri had said, but surprise was the last thing you were experiencing.

“We let our guard down. We were so focused on Alter Ego that we forgot about Monokuma’s ‘incentive.’ There’s no way it just ended there.”

A tense silence fell upon the room. Nobody had wanted to be the one to say it, but you’d all pretty much come to a unanimous conclusion. 

“We should go looking for them, the ones who didn’t show up.” With nobody objecting, Kirigiri continued. “It’s probably best if we split up and search. (Name), you take the dormitory. Check everyone’s bedrooms. Naegi, you search the first floor. I’ll handle the second floor.”

“Alright, then Sakura and I’ve got the third floor!” Even in a situation like this, Asahina maintained her bright demeanor. It would’ve been reassuring if you hadn’t been so preoccupied with the knot of dread tightening in your chest. 

“Don’t take any unnecessary risks. If anything happens, call for someone immediately.”

You barely waited for Kirigiri to finish before taking off towards the dorms. Automatically you made a beeline to Byakuya’s room, pressing his doorbell button urgently. Each second that passed without a response felt like an hour. Why wasn’t he answering? It wasn’t like him to sleep in and it wasn’t like him to just snub you like this. Would he snub the others? All the time. But he’d never been dismissive of you, and right now you felt all too aware of that. For the first time, you hoped that he was just being his typical egotistical self. This would be the only time that you would be glad to find out he’d chosen to go to the library instead of choosing to come see you. If he had gone to the library, that meant he was probably still there, oblivious to the concern of his classmates. If he hadn’t, though, and he hadn’t made it to your room this morning…

Refusing to let yourself finish that thought, you took a deep breath in an attempt to calm down. You’d just ring his doorbell again and check the others’ rooms, then go upstairs to find him in the library yourself. 

You reached out to do so with a trembling hand, but a sudden piercing scream made you freeze. Suddenly you couldn’t feel your hands. It was definitely one of the girls, but in your sudden peaked panic, you couldn’t identify the voice completely. You wanted to say that it had been Aoi, but the more you thought about it the less sure you were. Someone had found something upstairs, and you hadn’t gotten the chance to check the library yet. 

Someone could’ve found something in the library.

Your neck burned and your legs had joined your hands in that cold, buzzing numbness. 

 No, you didn’t have the time to think about it; you didn’t have time to give into the anxiety attack clawing at your chest. You just had to get upstairs. After convincing your body to move again, you began to run. If you focused on moving, you wouldn’t have to think about what your mind insisted on thinking about. Just get upstairs. 

Though you tried to keep yourself from assuming the worst, intrusive thoughts of what could be awaiting you filled your mind. What if it had been Kirigiri who screamed, and not Aoi? What if she'd checked the library and found the next victim, your boyfriend, dead and cold? 

You could see it play out all too well in your mind- you'd be the last to get to the library, and everyone else would be standing around the crime scene in remorseful silence. He'd been too cocky and given the wrong person the perfect opportunity. You'd been too complaisant and now he was gone. 

Your legs had gone completely numb as you mindlessly raced up the stairs and down the hallway, but you barely noticed at that point. Your mind was too preoccupied with just getting to the library. 

Bracing yourself for the worst, you swung open the heavy wooden door. 

But the gut-wrenching shock never came. A warm wave of relief rushed over you as you looked into the room. Contrary to what you'd been expecting, the room was empty save for the familiar blond at one of the bookshelves. There Byakuya stood with a book, completely safe and entirely unphased. You could feel your face again, only now noticing that it was hot and damp with tears. Before you even realized it, you had rushed to him, impulsively pressing your trembling lips to his and throwing your still tingling arms around him as tightly as you could. You gasped as you practically collapsed against him. Finally you could breathe again. 

He coughed out a bit from your tight grip and dropped his book, startled. "What exactly do you think you're doing?!" 

"Togami, you asshole! I thought it was you!" Your uncharacteristically harsh words made it clear that you were mad at him, but you didn't let go. You didn’t care about adhering to his general rule against public affection, you were just glad he was still alive. Clinging to him like this helped you to solidify that he was okay. 

"What are you talking about?" Normally he would’ve immediately condemned your use of profanity, but your clearly shaken-up state had him picking his words a bit more carefully. You were already crying, he didn't need you sobbing because he'd scolded you. 

"You bailed on me this morning, you didn't  come to the meeting, you weren't in your room when we went to find everyone else, and then someone upstairs screamed that someone had been hurt-"

"Tch," his scoff cut you off your rambling, "You really thought I would be dumb enough to let any of those idiots hurt me? Don't be so stupid." 

He kept up his air of superiority and arrogance, but his body language betrayed him. Instead of pushing you off of him, he sighed reluctantly against your hair before returning the tight embrace. It was tight enough that you almost couldn't breathe, but it didn't matter. You were in his arms again. You hadn't lost him. Suffocating from his embrace was so much better than choking from an anxiety attack. 

Feeling you relax into his chest after a moment, he waited for your shaking to fully subside before he spoke again. “Compose yourself before Toko makes her inevitable return. From what you said, there’s enough of a scene right now as it is. I don’t have the time to deal with the fit she’d throw if she found you hanging off of me.” 

You nodded meekly and wiped at your face with your sleeve. He stopped you though, gently grabbing your wrist with one hand before using the other to dry your tears with a tissue from his pocket. "Don't do that, you'll just get your sleeve covered in your own tears and snot. That's disgusting."

The heat on your cheeks only intensified under his close gaze. His eyes met yours as he studied your expression, though he only held your gaze for a moment before turning away with an entirely superficial eye roll. “Look at you, making me wipe your tears like some kind of lovesick idiot.” 

This was your turn to give him an almost entirely superficial eye roll of your own. “It’s only fair, you’re the one who made me cry.” 

He scoffed in return, but his sly smile didn’t hold the same condescending scorn it did when he used it against others. This one held genuine amusement and, dare you say, affinity? 

Tossing the now folded up tissue in the dusty library trash can, he placed his hand at the small of your back, coaxing you towards the door. “Come on, apparently we have an investigation to attend to.”

[dimigex]

Current WIP/ Drabbles list

So, I have a day in my writing schedule that is dedicated to working on stories not Altered Reality, Healing Hands, Heart in a Silver Cage, or Losing Control, but I have so many that’s it’s hard to choose. I went through and made a massive list of the current projects that I have (and realized I need to complete more and jump around less). Everything on this list is at least over a thousand words and most are considerably more than that. 

I kind of wanted to open this up to see if any of these descriptions get my followers excited in the ‘omg tell me more, why isn’t this finished yet’ way because there is only so much time each day to work on things. If you see something you want to know more about or really want to see me post sooner rather than later, please, Please, PLEASE inbox me (you can even use Anon to do so) or reply or reblog or whatever. I want to work on things that other people will be excited about too. It’s no fun alone. I mean it kind of is, but feedback is the best and if you’re excited you’re more likely to comment and engage. 

Works are below the cut because I have zero self control and the list is long. Keep in mind this is nowhere near the full amount of stories I have in docs, only the ones that are well developed and/or written or close to being finished (or have a chapter or more if it’s a long story)  

Big Stories (things that would be split into multiple chapters/parts):

Naruto:

Clean - KakaSaku, Sakura comes back to the village with an infant daughter and a big secret, one that she’s sworn never to tell even if it makes her life miserable. This is a study on the things we do for love, even when it hurts us. This story also has some previous SasuSaku undertones

Dark Side of the Moon - KakaSaku, this is basically the flip side of Altered Reality. Kakashi lived in a happy world and is suddenly thrust into a reality where nearly everyone he cares about is dead and he’s in a relationship with Sakura. With everything upside down, can he figure out what happened and get back to his family before it’s too late? Or should he move on with the new normal?

Here With You - Kakasaku, A 10k follow on to my oneshot Distraction which is mutual pining (and mutual self pleasure while thinking of the other). Kakashi and Sakura are tired of dancing around their feelings for each other, but neither knows what to do about it. With a little help from Ino, Genma, and maybe some alcohol, they’ll figure it out. 

Mortal Flaw, Fatal Sin - KakaSaku (with a heavy dose of anti-SasuSaku, Sasuke really does come across evil in this one) Sakura returns to Konoha after over a year with little to no contact with anyone. Pregnant and alone, she turns to Kakashi to try and figure out what to do with her life and tempers flare when the truth starts to come out. (this one will have a lot of trigger warnings, it’s a dark take on SasuSaku)

Run to You  - Jiraiya/Tsunade, snippets of their lives through the second war and forward (Niwaki’s death, Dan’s, the first time they hook up (because let’s face it, it happened)

Shattered - This starts as a SasuSaku morphs into a KakaSaku and NaruSasu. After the war, Sasuke is held in prison in Konoha for treason. Kakashi is Hokage and he didn’t ask for this mess with his former team, and he certainly didn’t ask to start developing feelings for Sakura as she’s doing her best to save Sasuke from himself. 

She is the Sunlight - KakaSaku, Sakura is unhappy with life in the village after the war (and Sasuke) and wants something more than just her medical work at the hospital. Eventually she latches onto the idea of Anbu which Kakashi strongly opposes because he wants to protect her from the horrors of it. (this is actually a combination of two stories I have where Kakashi catches the feels and doesn’t know what to do about it and Sakura kind of self-destructs before he figures it out)

Starting Over - Kakayama, Tenzo doesn’t know what to do with himself after the war and ends up helping at the hospital. When an orphaned infant isn’t doing well, Tenzo puts in some extra effort and maybe falls in love with the idea of being a dad if only he can convince Kakashi that it’s a good idea. 

Overwatch:

Empire - Gabriel centric, dealing with his pre army life with his family, initiation into a gang, conversion to the army, marriage and daughter, then ending at SEP. This is a wild ride from start to finish honestly. 

Through the Glass - Genji/Mercy, their time during his recovery after Overwatch saved his life, then probably reconnecting later as an epilogue. 

(You Held the Gun that) Fired First - Reaper76, starting with the founding of Overwatch, the slow decay of Jack and Vincent’s relationship, the chaos of Jack and Gabe together, ending sometime around the start of the game probably. I’m not planning to follow canon heavily but there will be a lot of stuff happening here including but not limited Jack planning to ask Vincent to marry him, a massively public break-up, Vincent gets attacked and nearly killed, Ana’s death, the explosion. Honestly I haven’t decided on the ending point yet 

Drabbles (smaller, one shots that don’t need additional chapters, probably): 

Naruto

Beautiful, Perfect Disaster - KakaSaku, all the tension between them finally snaps into a first kiss that might be the start of something wonderful 

Blame it on the Blood Loss - KakaIru, When Kakashi and Iruka go on a mission together, the latter is badly injured and rambles confessions he never meant to share

Innocence - KakaSaku, Kakashi and Sakura have been dating for a while when she shocks him by admitting she’s never been with anyone before and wants him to be her first (and last), not going to lie, this is mostly smut 

Interrupted Affections - KakaSaku, Kakashi and Sakura have just started dating and the days on missions without being able to touch is killing both of them. Sneaking away from Tenzo and Naruto, they try to find a little alone time to reconnect. It goes about as well as expected 

Let It Go - NaruSasu,in which Naruto tries to convince Sasuke to stay in the village and Sasuke has some convincing reasons on why he shouldn’t 

Letting Go - Kakayama, set in their Anbu days where Tenzo pays the ultimate price to save Kakashi’s life and Kakashi goes a little crazy as a result 

Memories and Hope - Genma/Kakashi, on the anniversary of Minato’s death Genma and Kakashi realize they have more in common than they realized. 

Saying Goodbye - Kakayama, Tenzo reflects on all the could have beens at Kakashi’s funeral 

Shadows and Sunlight - KakaSaku and NaruSasu, This is a follow on to my story Lightning and Starlight (in which Sasuke uses chidori on Sakura on the bridge when she tried to kill him, aka Kakashi got there too late). It follows the fallout of that day when everyone catches feels and realizes relationships are complicated

Surprise Advances - Tenzo/Anko, a train wreck mission leads this unlikely pair to fall into bed together (a spin off from Heart in a Silver Cage)

The Monster You Made - Kakashi/Obito, after the war (in which Obito doesn’t die, obviously) Kakashi saves Obito from execution for his crimes and realizes that he has some unresolved feelings for the teammate that he thought he’d lost years ago. 

The Photograph - Tenzo/Obito (set in Altered Reality universe) where an Anbu mission makes Tenzo rethink his opinion of his captain 

The Story of Your Scars - Kakayama, this is a follow on to Find Me in the Dark (in which Tenzo was captured and tortured by Orochimaru) where Kakashi tries to help Tenzo deal with the trauma of it 

Undone - Kakashi centric, young Kakashi wakes up in the hospital after his failure to save Rin (honestly this is about the shattering of Minato and Kakashi’s relationship) 

Undressed - KakaYama, Kakashi comes home broken up after a mission and Tenzo helps him remove his armor, in more ways than one

Overwatch

First Impressions - Reaper76, after the SEP injections which Jack has a difficult time with and Gabe helps him get through 

Shattered - Vincent learns about the explosion at the Swiss HQ and that Jack is missing in it 

War is Hell - Reaper76, the fallout after another bad Blackwatch mission where Jack is left picking up the pieces 

Other

Apocalyptic - Genma/Fynta (swtor crossover) where Genma is trapped in the Star Wars universe just trying to survive (co-written with Cinlat)

[kayparker20]

Let Me Love You

Alright so this is what I’ve been working on for the past week! I hope you enjoy

Summary: Shikamaru never planned to fall for Ino’s best friend, and he definitely never planned to do about it. When he insisted on training with her, he just wanted to make her happy, how does he end up asking to kiss her? He’s surprised to find her heart might have room for him afterall. Lemon.

FFN | AO3

Shikamaru laid on his back on the grass, finally enjoying a bit of relaxation after training with Asuma. He sat back and watched the clouds. Something that always brought him comfort, he always grasped what shred of laziness he could spare these days. Oftentimes now, he took this time to think, instead of blankly staring at the clouds. He reminisced about some of the past times in his life, and how he never got to do this much anymore. Sometimes he thought back on training sessions, and what his squad needed to work on, or tried to think of new formations they could make with their jutsu. Really, at least this time, he was thinking about a certain girl, once again. She was slowly invading his thoughts the last couple weeks, despite how troublesome he found most women.

He thought about all the things that have happened to his team, the Rookie 9, and to her. The Third Hokage was assassinated by his own student. Sasuke took off after the chunin exams to pursue Orochimaru. He even left her unconscious on a bench. Naruto was off training with Jiraiya, with the promise to bring back the person she loved. Kakashi had continually taken long term missions, and seemingly abandoned her to deal with the pain alone. She seemed almost in a limbo, even while she was under the instruction of the Godaime.

He thought more and more about the way things have turned out for his classmates. He could never imagine trying to kill Asuma. Or to leave Ino crying for him, let alone on a bench in the middle of the night. Even if he was well aware the bothersome blonde had no romantic feelings for him, he still couldn’t picture breaking someone like Sasuke had done to Sakura Haruno. How he created so much self-doubt in Naruto. He felt bitter towards the ninja who didn’t even witness the pain he inflicted upon people that Shikamaru was now close to. He could never understand how Sasuke thought power and revenge was more important than his own team.

More important than Sakura. When he had left, there was something in her that broke. He knew it had been her heart, you could see it in the way her smiles hardly reached her eyes anymore. In the way she carried herself now, she seemed to try and keep her emotions more hidden, except for when she was angry or truly hurt. He never realized how much he loved her smile, until she stopped smiling. 

Somewhere along the way, Ino had managed to get them to hang out one time. She made an off hand comment about Sakura needing to spend more time with smart people, and joked that he should teach her how to play shogi. When Sakura smiled even as she chastised her friend for getting in her business, he couldn’t resist the idea. Besides, it wouldn’t hurt to have another person to play shogi with, being as his Dad was ever busy, and Asuma couldn’t play as often now. Jounin ninja ever since the attack almost always had a directive from the Fifth if they weren’t training an up-coming squad of ninja.

He sighed softly before resting his eyes and clearing his head. He could never quite truly clear it of the colours of rosy pink hair and teal coloured eyes. How it felt the past few weeks to just be in her presence. How smart she was, as he soon found out when they played a game of shoji. He knew she had been top of her class, but there’s a difference in memorizing information, and being able to think out the moves to make in any situation.  They had fallen into a routine of playing a game or two weekly, and it seemed he only fell even further for her as he spent more time with her.

Memories of her flitted through his mind, like the way she chewed her bottom lip when she thought about her next move. Or how she felt in his arms when she would tackle him after he let her win, complaining that it wasn’t a real win if he allowed it. How the smell of her jasmine perfume invaded his senses when she had been so close to him. The musical sound of her laughter. The small smiles that had formed on her face, genuine even if they didn’t reach her eyes. 

He sighed and shook his head once again. What a drag, he was supposed to be relaxing and yet he couldn’t relax when he thought about her. 

Of course, leave it to him to end up in the troublesome situation of falling for the girl who already had her sights set on someone else. He wouldn’t be so arrogant to think he could sway her feelings, it seemed childish almost to try and change it. No matter how much he knew Sasuke didn’t deserve even an ounce of the friendship or love that Naruto and Sakura held for him so strongly.

 He stood up from his spot and sighed before he heard shuffling. He turned his head towards the noise before finding the very being of his thoughts, standing there with her leather gloves on, clearly coming to train. She had this look of determination on her face, but there was a twinge of disappointment in her eyes. 

“Oh, hey Shikamaru!” She smiled softly. “It’s okay, I’ll find another training ground! I wouldn’t want to intrude on your cloud watching.” She turned to leave.

She had only just got here, he didn’t want her to leave yet.

He inwardly scrambled for something to say to stop her too-soon departure.“Sakura, do you have a training partner?” He jogged towards her. “You usually have Tsunade with you don’t you?” He inquired.

He realized how lame that might have sounded, or maybe even rubbing salt into the wound of her disappointment since Tsunade was clearly absent today.

Was there even a way to have a strategy for love, and trying to gain it? 

Sakura laughed nervously. “She’s got a lot of hokage business today. And, you know Naruto is gone and Kakashi-sensei is on yet another mission…” There was a tinge of sadness in her voice as she explained herself even further.

He knew no ninja cared for pity, and he didn’t want to come off that way. But he also knows training by yourself only gets you so far. And that she hated to be alone. He tried for a casual smile towards her before shrugging his shoulders. He really did try to be there for his friends, and the sadness in her voice made it clear she wasn’t thrilled about the situation. “Well, I’ll train with you today. I’m not busy or anything.”

Sakura's eyes widened. “Oh, no you don’t have to, Shikamaru!” She looked off to the side a bit. “I know you were cloud watching, really, I don’t want to interrupt.”

“Nah, I was just finished. Come on, you only gain so much from training alone. What were you going to work on today?”

Sakura couldn’t help the shy smile that graced her lips then. She looked up at Shikamaru, meeting his chocolate eyes this time. “I was going to work on taijutsu. Tsunade is teaching me how to channel chakra into my attacks to make them stronger. I also need to learn to dodge better…” 

Ino had gone to Sakura’s after training to find she was gone. She imagined she may have been training with Tsunade, so she picked up some food and headed back to the training grounds. She was surprised to find Sakura alone, without Tsunade approaching the training ground she had left only 20 minutes ago. And then she smiled as she realized Shikamaru was still there, and was probably cloud watching.

Shika hadn’t said anything but she had noticed how he seemed to glance at Sakura just a little longer these days whenever they ran into her friend as a team. Or how sometimes he seemed concerned about her being left behind by her team, asking why nothing was done about it. Asuma gave a knowing smile when he mentioned it, and told him that he could do something about it if he felt so concerned about it.

This really turned into Ino doing something about it because Shikamaru just huffed at his response, and only Ino noticed the slightest tinge of pink in his face he had that day. Ino started inviting Sakura to train with them occasionally then, before one day insisting they start to hang out. Really, she just wanted to see both of them happy.

She got a little closer so she could hear when they spoke. When Shikamaru suggested he train with her, Ino beamed. There’s no one else she would ever trust to be so kind to Sakura, it was why she had set them up a few weeks back. She was surprised he went out of his way to do it, considering he wasn’t usually one to volunteer himself. All the more proof showing he had some sort of affection for her. She ran off to tell Choji, giggling with delight all the while to find him.

Sakura and Shikamaru had been sparring for about half an hour at this point, just exchanging blows. It wasn’t without the occasional snide comments to each other, as Sakura loved to chat.

Sakura smirked softly before landing a kick to his side. “You know, it’s not really training when you go easy on me, Shikamaru.”

He raised an eyebrow at her before shaking his head. “You’re just as troublesome as Ino. Why do you think I’m going easy on you?” But he smiled even just slightly as he said it. “I’m not, but I’m not trying to actually hurt you either, woman.”

He grabbed hold of her leg when she went to kick him again and pushed it to the side in an attempt to make her lose balance.

“I’m not fragile. Tsunade hits me with chakra punches, I think I can handle your normal ones.” She chided as she caught herself from falling. She lunged at him, going for his side when he grabbed her wrist and twisted, bringing her arm behind her.

She felt how firm his chest was against her arm and back but tried to shake away those invasive little thoughts that crossed her mind.

“Taijutsu isn’t my strong suit, I’m more of a ranged shinobi, as I’m sure you should know already.”

She tensed slightly as she felt his breath brush across her neck as he spoke. She nodded. “Ah, yes that’s right.” She smirked and hooked her foot behind his ankle and pulled, sending him to the ground as she turned and crossed her arms. “Perhaps this is good training for both of us then.”

He landed flat on his back, surprised by her move. He looked up at her and was caught for a moment at the sight of her. She stood, staring down at him with a happy glint in her turquoise eyes he hadn’t seen for at least two years. Her hair reached a little past her shoulders now as it blew around in the slight breeze. Her hips were cocked to one side as she gazed at him with amusement even though her arms were crossed. She had a thin sheen of sweat that glistened across her skin, and it did nothing but add to his attraction. It had caught him off guard, but she looked beautiful in that moment, especially with the clouds behind her as a backdrop.

She watched as Shikamaru seemed to gaze at her for a little bit longer before she felt heat rushing to her face. “H-Hey, what are you looking at?” She snapped.

“You have a pretty smile…” He said without really thinking.

Oh man, this is about to be a drag. 

He quickly stood up as his own face became dusted with a light shade of pink. He rubbed the back of his head. “I mean…” He trailed off, not quite sure how to dig himself out of this one.

Sakura only became more flustered. “I...oh?” She bit the inside of her cheek nervously, not sure what to say. “Thank you…” She gave a shy smile.

He returned with his own sheepish smile. “I… uh. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I know that you…” He didn’t know if bringing up Sasuke was a good idea he realized as he trailed off.

Sakura took a step closer and set a reassuring hand on his chest. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable at all, Shika. Thank you…” She looked up at him and she was smiling so brightly, it reached her eyes which were so warm now. “It means a lot to me, actually.”

He watched her for a moment, before wishing he knew how to handle this situation a little better. Really, everyone knew her heart was out to Sasuke, so was there really a point in trying? But her hand was on his chest and she was smiling at him so tenderly, so what did that mean for him?

Since when did he feel strongly enough to want to try?

It had to be her smile, and how he had been the one to make her that happy. He brought a hand up to cup one side of her face as he made eye contact with her. “Sakura, you do know you look beautiful, right?” He said softly.

Her lack of confidence in herself made no sense to him, but he had to try. She was a stunning kunoichi all around in his eyes.

She blushed even deeper now before staring into his dark brown eyes. She wasn’t used to someone being so close. And it was a bit of a shock coming from Shikamaru. 

But now some of Ino’s odd behaviour started making sense, like how every time she went out with Team 10, she somehow ended up sitting next to Shikamaru instead of Ino, and the couple times she trained with them, she ended up paired with him. Or when she tried to ask her about dating that one time. 

She gazed into his eyes, seeing how warm and inviting they were as he looked at her so tenderly. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she compared it to the coldness that she always found in Sasuke’s gaze, but it seemed so distant now. It made her nervous all the same.

“I...uh.” she stuttered nervously.

She would have been lying if she tried to act like Shikamaru wasn’t attractive. She was flustered at the sudden attention he seemed to be paying attention to her, or was it so sudden? Had he looked at her like that before and she just didn’t notice? It made her feel giddy and nervous to be the object of his piercing gaze. It felt like he could see right through her. She could never tell what he was thinking, but he was clear enough in voicing he liked what he saw. She chewed on the inside of her cheek, not sure what to say, thinking his hands felt nice even if they were a little calloused. 

She began thinking of how he has always made her feel like she mattered the last few weeks, how this lazy genius she calls her friend always made time for her. How gentle he seemed to be holding her at this exact moment, and the awe in his gaze when he was on the ground moments ago when he looked up at her.

She gently gripped his shirt with the hand that still rested on his chest as she felt him lean closer, anticipating what she thought, and ever dared hope what was coming next. 

He took a step closer and leaned in towards her slightly. “Can I kiss you?” He spoke the question so softly as he slowly moved his hand to thread into her hair.  He didn’t want to make her feel pressured. “You don’t have to say ye-” 

And he felt soft lips just barely brush his own. His eyes slid closed as he brought his other hand to her hip, and deepened the kiss just a bit. Her hands moved to wrap around his neck. It was timid and shy, clearly the first for her(not to his surprise), but it was so sweet and gentle.

His face felt like it was on fire as he pulled back a bit. He gazed at her, surprise clear in his chocolate shaded eyes, but also something akin to delight.

She stared back up at Shikamaru, her lips still just barely parted. She could feel his chest against her own, how surprisingly toned he was compared to how lithe he looked. She could smell the layer of sweat that shined off his skin in the sun from their sparring moments ago. She took comfort in how firm yet gentle his grip on her was. It felt nice to be close to someone, she thought to herself, as she smiled up at him.

“Sakura… ” He pulled his hand back from her pink tresses to rest on her cheek. “I don’t mean to be a drag, but I… ” He stumbled for words, how do you even begin this conversation? Is the kiss enough, does he have to voice it?

“I liked it…” She spoke softly, before looking over him once more. “How...long?” Her eyes were full of curiosity, and happiness.

“Awhile…” He sighed. “I’ve always been concerned about you since everything happened, and especially since Naruto left. You were always…” He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to insult her, especially because he was well aware she had a killer punch once she was angry. “Alone.”

“I always found myself wanting to comfort you, to be there for you.” He laughed nervously. “Emotions are such a drag, you know? I don’t know how to explain them very well…”

She bit her lip softly. “Shika…” She placed both her hands against the sides of his face. 

“And I mean, who am I compared to Sasuke?” He gave a half smile as he stroked her cheekbone with his thumb. “Competitions are immature, especially ones you know you can’t win…” 

A flash of guilt went through her aquamarine hues and she looked away. 

She knew not everyone cared as deeply for Sasuke as her and Naruto, that most people saw him as a traitor now. Most people didn’t understand. But Shikamaru always understood, even if he didn’t agree with it.

It wasn’t a secret to her and Naruto. She knew that even though the rest of the Rookie 9 respected them enough to keep their opinions to themselves, and even help try to bring him back, that most of them were bitter towards the Uchiha. Who could blame them, when they were the ones that had to witness the pain her and Naruto felt all the time. No one could like someone who hurt people they cared about.

Shikamaru frowned, instantly regretting his words. He gently turned her face back towards him. “Sakura, that’s not how I meant that…” He sighed even deeper. “I just… I know you love him, so why would I tell you how I feel, it wouldn’t change that, and it wouldn’t change us, now would it?”

She stared at Shikamaru in wonder. He was so full understanding, not a hint of the judgement she was used to when in regards to Sasuke. He always was, but at this moment, she had begun fearing he would get angry and turn away. He hadn’t, he had only held on more, giving her more honesty and it made her heart swell more with the little bit of feelings she had started developing for him recently.

Shikamaru was here, and Sasuke wasn’t. He made her feel wanted, and the time she had spent with him lately were becoming some of the happier moments she had now. She wondered that as time went, if she would ever even pine for the vengeful raven anymore, as she slowly fell for the genius.

Shikamaru was looking at her so tenderly, but there was a hint of sadness in those eyes that suddenly reminded her of coffee in the late mornings they shared a couple of times over games of shoji.

“What if I said it could…?” She whispered to more herself than him. But he was a shinobi just like she was, and he had definitely heard it.

“Sakura..?”

“You…” She struggled to find words that didn’t sound awkward or cheesy. “I… don’t feel so alone when I’m with you. I feel happy.” 

Shikamaru stared at her for another moment before kissing her again.

Sakura gasped softly into the kiss before returning it eagerly. She rested her hands on the sides of his neck as various things fled through her little pink head. They were fast and fleeting but somehow still focused as she moved her mouth against his, not exactly smoothly as it was now her only second kiss.

Shikamaru, the one who said women are such a drag, was kissing her. He had done everything but outright confess to her.

She felt her heart beating out of her chest as butterflies seemed to fill her stomach.

His body felt hard against hers, or maybe he was just tense.

She wanted this, wanted him. 

She liked the way he embraced her, tight enough to express he didn’t want her to go, but gentle enough that she could have pulled away if she had wanted to.

Shikamaru was here and cared about her and her day and her feelings and even her damn training.

Her face burned with a hot blush.

And the most apparent thought, she liked every bit of it.

She hummed as Shikamaru seemed to grow a little more confident as he swiped his tongue along her bottom lip. She timidly parted her lips for him, moving one of her hands to his hair, almost daring to tug the strands out of its hold, curious about what it looked like when it was down. He pulled her closer, her body pressed right up against his, as he swirled his tongue around her own. His grip on her hips tightened before he raised one hand to gently tilt her head and thread his fingers into her hair, giving him better access.

She pulled away with a soft gasp, needing air to breathe from. “Shika…” She panted softly before looking up at him. She caught his eyes and was surprised by the intensity that she found in them. She bit her lip nervously as she tried to maintain his gaze.

She wondered what was going through his head that moment. He was never one she could read well. She was pretty sure that was why he always beat her in shoji, when he wasn’t letting her win. Or maybe it was because she would be trying to focus on not watching the way his eyes scanned the board. Sometimes her mind wandered even further, wondering what his hands felt like when she watched him move pieces.

She could confirm now that they had a firm grip, and were a little calloused and felt rough against the smooth skin of her neck or her cheek. It was a near perfect contrast, even though she knew her hands were just as callous as his from leading the life of a ninja.

“Do...you want to come to my place?” She asked him softly.

His eyes widened a bit at the request. 

He wanted to, but he was feeling a need he couldn’t dare expect her to satiate. He didn’t think that a kiss would draw him so far into his own desires. He just wanted to show her he cared, to express something he couldn’t quite get out in words. Just one kiss sparked his need within to be with her that went farther than just her company or his want to comfort her. 

“Sakura, I…” He felt his face flush again. “I don’t know if that's the best idea…” He disentangled himself from her slowly and took a step back. “I think I need to go uhm… Cool off.” He rubbed the back of his back, feeling rather embarrassed.

“Oh, uh…” She wasn’t stupid, she was more than well aware what he meant. She felt hot all over from that second kiss even as tender as it still was. She nodded slightly in understanding. “If you change your mind…” She couldn’t help the tinge of hope that laced her voice.

He looked at her a moment before leaning back down and placing a kiss over her forehead. “I’ll see you, Sakura…” He really wasn’t sure what else he could possibly say to her that wasn’t awkward or weird. 

He backed off almost reluctantly, wishing he could accept her offer to come to her home. He turned and walked away, but not before giving her a sheepish grin. He started walking towards home, even though he really wanted to turn around and go home with her.

But he feared she was just caught in the moment, and he didn’t want her to regret something, or for it to ruin their friendship. All these contradicting thoughts he had were troublesome and he was beginning to wonder how he let himself fall for her in the first place.

Then he remembered all the things she said, and how happy she had looked as she gazed up at him. That she had liked when he kissed her. Or how she didn’t feel so alone when she was with him.

He took a deep breath as he turned to look behind him even as he swore at himself that it was going to be the mistake that did him in. As his gaze fell back on her form, she had walked the opposite direction towards her apartment. He could see the slight slump in her shoulders, the disappointment in being turned down, even after he made the first move. Her head hung low and it caused a stabbing pain to throb in his chest.

He stopped as the realization dawned on him that he had just hurt her. He had hurt her, right after she had just told him that he made her feel happy. He didn’t want to be the reason she was hurting, he wanted to be the person that made her smile, just as brightly as she was just moments before he stepped away from her.

It couldn’t be the right thing to do if it made her look so upset. He couldn’t bear to be the one causing her to doubt herself, to feel like she did something wrong, or like she wasn’t enough. He couldn’t let her believe she was anything less than wonderful. The ink-haired man sighed as he took the next turn swiftly, heading towards her place. He picked up his pace, easily maneuvering around anyone else on the same path. 

He got there first. It didn’t surprise him considering the brisk pace he had developed and the slow one she had had. He waited silently on her porch, leaning against the door frame, watching in the direction he knew she would come from. 

He had been so focused on watching for Sakura that he was startled at the sound of Ino's higher pitched tone.

“So just what exactly are you doing here, hm?” She teased.

He huffed at her. “I… kissed Sakura.”

Ino blue orbs widened in surprise before she started fretting over him. “Shika, you did what!” She exclaimed excitedly.

“Don’t get so loud!” He hissed before his shoulders slumped. “Besides, I already fucked it up…” He sighed.

“Clearly you didn’t do something too terrible if you’re sitting on her doorstep.” She raised an eyebrow and clicked her tongue.

“I kissed her, and then she asked me to come over, and I just…” His cheeks tinted red again, before he glanced to see if he could see her down the road yet. “I didn’t want her to regret it…”

Ino’s gaze softened towards. “You mean, you didn’t want her to regret you.” She stepped right in front of Shikamaru, demanding his eye contact. “Look at me, she wouldn’t invite you over unless she had already decided it was what she wanted.” She set her hands on her hips. “And now you’ve probably gone and made her think she missed something or misread the situation.”

“But she didn’t! I just…” He sighed, frustrated with how he didn’t know how to say what he felt. “I didn’t want to hurt her, or hell I didn’t want to be hurt either.” 

Ino rolled her eyes but kept her tone light. “So, then why are you here?”

Why did this friend of his always have to have her nose in other people’s business? He huffed, before reminding himself that if she hadn’t been in Sakura’s business he might have never got to spend so much time with her in the first place. 

“I looked back after walking away and she just looked…” He felt so ashamed to have hurt her, even when his intentions had been the opposite. “She looked so hurt, and she had been smiling moments before I ruined it. And I can’t bear to be the reason she feels so sad, and I’d be lying if I sat here and tried to act like I didn’t want to come, I just tried to do the right thing…”

Ino caught sight of pink down the road out of the corner of her eye. She smiled. “As long as you’re doing what makes her happy, you’re doing the right thing, Shikamaru…” She gave him a pat on the shoulder before making the hand signs to a transportation jutsu and disappearing. 

Ino words lingered in the air for a moment as he thought about them, about how he had just had a similar thought.

He glanced back towards the street and saw her coming. He stood back away from the door frame and watched as she seemed to dread coming home, coming back to being alone. Another pain stabbed in his chest as he saw the actual expression on her face. He had started to come down the steps right as she looked up and saw him on her doorstep. He shot a smile in her direction as she picked up the pace, her own face lighting back up. 

She had run straight into his arms, right into his embrace on her steps.

“Shika-” She was cut off as he melded his lips to hers again and she closed her eyes, melting into the kiss just before he pulled away too soon.

“I’m sorry…” He said softly. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings…” He cups her face in his hands. “I only said no because I don’t want you to make a mistake and regret… This.” 

She stared at him before turning to unlock her door and step inside, and jerked him into her house with one arm. She slammed the door before shoving him against it. “You let me decide whether or not I want something…” She huffed out in slight annoyance. “And damnit, I’ve been wanting you…”

He gasped at her sudden ambition but smirked a bit before hooking his palms on the back of her thighs and hoisting her effortlessly from the ground and holding her against him. He hummed appreciatively as she instantly wrapped her legs around his waist. “Then you have me.” 

One of her hands went for the band that held his hair up and slowly pulled it from his locks, tossing it aside. It fell just barely to his shoulders in layers, framing his face. It had only made him look even more handsome, and sexy as that smirk still played across his lips.

She ran her fingers through his hair, loving how thick and soft it felt as the strands slid through her fingers. She looked into his eyes, which always reminded her of something deep and dark, whether it was chocolate or coffee, or at the moment it was the tall woods of their home, safe and secure. There was emotion there that she couldn’t place there. She bit her lip in anticipation. There was some warmth developing in her chest as she looked at him and it only encouraged the nerves firing all over her skin.

He tilted his back into her touch, his breath hitching as her fingers threaded through his hair. He’d never let a girl take his hair down, not even when he was heavily drunk. It felt soothing to feel her fingers against his scalp as she incessantly stroked his hair.

“You have no idea how badly I’ve wanted to do that…” She breathed out as she finally stopped and let her arms rest and loosely wrap around his shoulders.

He licked his lips before moving to kiss her neck softly. “I think your eagerness gave that part away, Sakura…” He mumbled against her neck as he lavished her soft skin with kisses. He heard her breath catch in her throat.

“Shika…” Her legs tightened around his hips as she breathed out another sigh. “You’re going to be…”

“I know…” He whispered before moving back up her neck to peck at her jawline and catch her lips with his once more. He tried to pour every bit of affection he had for her into that kiss as he started walking towards where he knew her bedroom was.

She let out a needy whimper as his lips met hers again and she slanted hers against them. She needed something more, she wanted to feel his hands on her. She wanted to feel needed by him, like she felt the need for him. It almost felt wrong, feeling this lust for the first time.

She gasped when she felt her back fall onto the bed, with him hovering over her from the edge of the mattress, easily settling between her thighs. He looked down at her before he placed a hand over her the side of her face, his thumb stroking her cheekbone. He stared at her lovingly and it was then she suddenly felt the guilt build up in her chest.

She knew she felt something for him, and that it was more than this lust, but she couldn’t call it love. As he stared at her with such a heartfelt expression her heart squeezed and it all felt wrong now. She couldn’t bear the thought of hurting him.

“W-Wait..” She stammered, her words catching in her throat.

He hummed in response before leaning down and placing a kiss on her cheek, trailing down her jawline and nipping lightly at her smooth skin. “You can talk while I kiss you…” He mumbled between kisses, his breath flowing over her skin and making her shiver.

Her back arched and she shut her eyes tight. “I-I can’t do this, not…” She moaned out softly as he bit down on the junction of her neck and shoulder and began to suck softly on her skin there.

 “N-Not after you looked at me like that.” She breathed.

 “I-It’s wrong…” She whimpered as he pressed her more firmly onto her bed. 

“I-I don’t feel the same… Not as…” She gasped as she slowly pulled away from her neck and licked the slight red mark he left. “Not as intensely…” 

Shikamaru sat back up, resting his weight on his forearms on either side of her head. He knew that already. But he could see in her eyes as she looked at him, past the guilt, that she did care about him. And if there were any feelings in her heart for him, he wasn’t letting her go now. He never intended to let her go ever, just loving her silently for his life.

“Sakura, I never expected you to feel as strongly as I do now.” He smiled down at her. “Not yet…” He caressed her cheek.

Her heart squeezed once again at his compassion towards. “But this isn’t fair to you…” She started to drag herself away from his body, trying to slip through the gap left by his arms. “I don’t want to hurt you…”

He caught on and quickly pinned his hips against hers before entangling his hand in her hair and kissing her with everything he had. He knew she didn’t want to pull away, that she was just trying to spare his heart, but he needed her to see that he understood, that he accepted it. He was patient, and he would take whatever she would give him. He brought his other hand to grip her hip gently.

She gasped into the kiss before kissing him back, struggling to fight her desire as her morals battled it in her head. She wanted nothing but to be enveloped in his warmth and his touch and his mouth, wherever he decided to wonder with it. 

He pulled back and locked his coffee coloured eyes with her aqua ones. “Sakura, please, just let me love you.” He pleaded. “I know you want this too, even if you don’t feel it as deep as I do…” 

She swallowed before cupping his face in her hands, tears pricking the corners of her eyes. “You don’t deserve this, Shika…” She stared into his eyes, enthralled by all the love and affection and care and compassion found in them as his eyes pierced through her again. “You deserve someone that would be devoted to you…entirely.” She smiled softly as the tears slipped down her cheeks.

He quickly wiped her eyes before kissing both her cheeks. “Sakura, if Sasuke walked back through the village gates, right now, where would you be after you found out?”

Her eyes widened at his question. He always caught her off guard with his bluntness he had for most topics. She looked at him, asking herself that question over and over again.

All she could think about was how she was right where she wanted to be. She was in the arms of someone who made her feel important, like she mattered. She stared at Shikamaru, his hair flowing down to his shoulders, slightly wavy from being held up all the time. She bit her lip, as she thought about the way his kiss made her heart leap in her chest, how the way he held her made her feel so safe. 

She thought about how everything about Sasuke was apathetic and uninviting. How he thought she was annoying, treated her like she was less than him. She thought about how distant he always was, and how he put power and revenge over everything else, even when their team had started to become like family.

She thought about how warm Shikamaru was, and how he always welcomed her in his presence, how right now he was pleading to be at her side, in her bed. How he trained with her as an equal, even when he pulled his punches in fear of hurting her. How he had always been there, and how he accepted her as she was. 

She stroked her thumbs across his cheeks as she beamed a smile before leaning up and kissing him, and slowly winding her fingers into his hair again, and blushed as he groaned at her touch. She pulled away before looking into eyes, warm and inviting as always, but nervous too.

“I’d be right here. I’d be with you. Naruto could come bursting through that door right now telling me Sasuke was back, and it would still hurt, but I would stay right here, in your arms.” 

His eyes widened, not expecting her to say she would choose him, knowing he had risked his heart being broken, thinking he had been stupid to ask such a question when he was trying to convince her to not push him away.

He couldn’t take it anymore as his smile stretched across his face. “Then that’s more than enough for me.” His voice was heavy with the emotions he felt constricting his heart.

She would choose him.

He crashed his lips down on hers, passion flaming fiercely as he slid his hand back into her hair, and the one gripping her hip slid under her to press their bodies close together. He felt her hands slip under his shoulders and press into his back. He nipped her bottom lip and when she gasped with a moan, he slid his tongue into her mouth and tangled it with hers. She whined with need into his demanding kiss, and he felt the surge of pleasure go straight to his center as he felt his groin tighten.

“Shikamaru, please…” She moaned into the kiss.

She shook his head as he dragged his mouth away from the kiss just to pepper more along her jawline and down her neck. “I will not rush this for you, I’m going to do this right.” 

Her eyes gleamed with curiosity and she arched her back into his touch. “Right…?”

The genius hummed against her skin softly before chuckling. “You are not, nor will you ever be just a quick fuck, Sakura.” His voice sounded deep and husky now, filled with need and it ignited her arousal as a deep blush flushed her skin and down her neck.

He inched his fingertips under the red fabric of her shirt, silently making the request to run his hands across her body. She nodded and pushed herself into his touch. He bit his lip and gripped the fabric and pulled it gently over her body, leaning down to kiss the skin of her abdomen as more and more was exposed.. Her breath hitched once more and she instinctively rolled her hips against his, grinding against his own arousal. She let out a loud moan and bit her lip.

“S-Shit, I’m so-”

As soon as her shirt was on the floor his hands landed on her hips and pinned them in place to the bed. His eyes were glazed over and dark as he bit his lip before he moved his hips against hers, rubbing their clothes sexes against each other deliberately. He groaned as her back arched and she moaned his name softly.

He slid his hands up her sides, hooking his fingers on her chest binds, looking for the piece that was tucked. Finding it quickly, he unwrapped them, still grinding his hips into hers as he unravelled the binds until she was exposed, her full breasts heaving with her heavy breathing. He cupped each mound in his hands and squeezed them softly, hardening even more at the moans that fell from her lips as she arched into his touch.

“Sh-Shika… Oh god.” She moaned out needily as her nipples quickly hardened at the attention she received. 

“Sakura…” He breathed before leaning down and expertly circling the tip of his tongue around a hardened nipple while he still continued his touches on her other breast. 

Her moans were like music to his ears. He knew she was a virgin but he didn’t expect his touch to have this much of an effect on her. He didn’t expect her to be so open to him. She blushed and whimpered and moaned but not once did she try to hide herself from him. The amount of trust she had in him made his heart swell. She looked so beautiful as she panted from his touches. 

“You’re beautiful…” He whispered against her skin. 

She looked up at him before she slid her hands under his flak jacket, her fingertips gliding across his mesh top, reveling in how toned his body felt, but wanting to feel his bare skin against her own. 

She huffed. “This needs to come off…” She sat up quickly, did away with the green vest they all owned, and pulled at the fabric, dragging it up his torso until it went over his head. 

He gazed at her as she eased the mesh material off his body. He loved the way she seemed captivated in this moment, so focused on him. Her hands pressed firm across his skin and she slid them down to his hips before she hooked her fingers on the waistband there.

He brought a hand up to her cheek once again, kissing her soft and slow, pushing her more fully onto the bed when she had finished unbuttoning his pants, he kicked them. She shed her skirt and her shorts. She could feel how wet she was everytime she moved her legs and she whined with need.

As he climbed onto the bed, still keeping settled between her legs, his knees sunk into the mattress. He sat up and just roved over her curves, her body nearly fully exposed besides the simple but sexy red panties she wore. He noticed the wet spot near her core and he smirked, stroking his hand up and down her thigh teasingly. He placed his thumb directly over her clothed clit and began rubbing slow and deliberate circles. He used his free hand to pin her hips to the bed, putting some of his weight onto her as she writhed beneath his touch.

“Shikamaru…” She drawled out in a low, heated voice. Her back arched up off the bed once more as her mouth hung open, breathy moans falling from her soft lips every time he rolled his thumb over her clit.

He licked his lips at the sight of seeing her so aroused. “You’re so wet and worked up and I’ve barely touched you…” He mumbled, his voice still deep and husky.

He began rubbing her faster, adding a little more pressure. He watched as her body began growing tense and smirked as her legs trembled around his hips. “Sakura, you look so sexy right now, baby…”

She bit her lip and a blush stained her cheeks once more as she couldn’t help but to buck her hips against his hand. She never even thought something could feel so pleasurable. She couldn’t imagine doing this with anyone else. She could feel that her panties were thoroughly soaked with her own juices and it was slightly embarrassing. Did he think she was easy, or was he just that good with his mouth and his hands? She whimpered when she felt his hand stop completely and just press firmly against her sensitive areas, and she couldn’t help but to grind herself into the palm of his hand, looking for any sort of friction.

He hooked the waistband of those pecky little panties before twirling them around his finger. He’d decided he could buy her new ones if him ripping them off pissed her off enough. With one swift pull, the fabric easily ripped. He tossed the scraps of her last bit of clothing off to the side as she gasped, but her eyes watched him intently, scaling down his body. They left a blazing heat building behind her touch. He watched her, as she hooked her slender fingers around his boxers and tugged them down his thighs to fall to his knees. He quickly kicked them off.

And then he sunk down onto the mattress, into her embrace and warmth. Her whole body was hot to the touch, feeling their bare skin against each other. He breathed a long sigh before catching her lips in another heated kiss, pouring his love into her. Her hands went into his hair and she tugged at the long strands, keeping them out of his face. 

He slowly slid his length along her entrance and against her clit, and she shook with the pleasure as she rocked her hips into his. 

“Oh, Shika…” She called out between kisses. “That’s so…” He nipped her bottom lip before sucking on it and slowly grinding his hips against hers, slicking himself with her arousal.

“Fuck, you’re dripping…” He groaned before he trailed wet kisses down her neck. 

“Shikamaru, please. This teasing is too much…” She whined.

He hummed in agreement before sliding his hands up her arms, pinning them to the bed, intertwining their fingers together. “If you need me to stop at any time…” 

She nodded, squeezing his hands. “I know…”

He aligned himself with her entrance, pressing the tip of his length into her slightly before kissing her again, delving his tongue between her lips and swirling around her own. He loved how she moaned at everything he did, how her body pressed up into his, no matter what he did. He began sucking on her tongue and she writhed between him and her sheets, messing them up even worse. Just as her moans began to become high pitched, knowing she’d want the worse done and over with, he pushed into her in one long and quick thrust, sheathing himself to the hilt.

He let out a strangled groan at how tight she was, how much she gripped him as he sank into her heat. “Sakura, fucking hell…” He growled against her lips as his body went taut with tension. He kept still, feeling her pussy pulsating around his length. She had whimpered at first and cried out in surprise but he didn’t see any signs of pain, which was a good sign but left him confused.

She moved her hips up into his and let out a broken moan, which he thought sounded a lot like ‘Shika’. “Hymens break often when you’re physically active,” She said, an annoyed and impatient tone falling from her lips. “Nothing hurts, so don’t you dare hold back.” She snapped as she writhed once more and cried out in pleasure, dissolving whatever demanding aura she tried to have.

He smirked. “My apologies.” And then he rolled over onto his back, pulling her on top of him. He held her hips tight, and lifted her up as he pulled out until just the very tip of his erection was left inside her, before thrusting upwards as he pulled her back down on him.

He threw his head back against her pillows, his raven layers sprawling across the cushions, the smells of her arousal and just her surrounding him as he pressed into her heat, overwhelmed in the sensations. He felt her hands settle firmly on his chest as she moaned out his name.

He gazed up at her, finding the way her hair hung around her face, and stuck to her neck with sweat, absolutely stunning. He watched as her breasts bounced with every movement, licking his lips as he watched them, watched her as she didn’t hold back any of the passion he gave her. He slid his hands up her sides before cupping the mounds once again, tweaking her nipples in sync with each undulation of their hips.

“Ride me, Sakura…” He growled out. 

She panted as he felt her distribute more of her weight into her arms, using his chest to support herself before she experimentally rocked her hips back and forth. The friction made him sigh, the pleasure of her taking control running through his body like an electric current. He jerked his hips up into her, moaning out her name low and heated.

She felt herself slicken even more against his member as her name slipped so freely from his lips, sounding so pleasured. She bit her lip before raising her hips and then pressing back down. She gasped as searing hot pleasure raced through her veins, and repeated the motion. She did it again and again, the urgency in her movements building as she started to get closer to the sweet bliss she knew was her first orgasm given to her by someone else. She chased it, bouncing in his lap desperately.

“Fuck, Sakura. You’re going to be the death of me…” He groaned and gripped her hips hard and guided her down onto him roughly. He felt her nails digging into his skin, her death gripping his shoulders. Moan after moan fell from her mouth, whimpers of his name filling the air, urging him on.

He rolled her over onto her back, kissing her hard and needy. Her hands pressed flat against his back, before her fingers curled and he felt her fingers digging into the skin of his shoulder blades. She pressed her body into him, her back arching as she cried out into his mouth, her legs shaking around his hips and her body shuddering. He felt her tighten around his throbbing cock as she lost herself in bliss. He kissed her neck and whispered against her skin. 

“You’re so gorgeous, Sakura…” He breathed against her ear as he kept pounding into her through her first orgasm he’d given her. 

He felt his back muscles tighten and he sunk deep into her warmth, nearing his own bliss. He peppered kisses across whatever skin he could reach, hugging her close and tight to his chest. He grabbed the back of her knee and raised her leg, finding a better angle.

“Sakura, I love you so much, fuck…” He moaned as he finally found his own release. He pumped into her slow and hard as he came, his seed coming out in multiple spurts as he shuddered. 

He collapsed on top of her body, both of them gasping for breath. He felt her gaze on him, but he couldn’t find the energy to turn his head. He gripped her hands tighter as he buried his face into her neck, breathing in her jasmine perfume.

“That was…” She panted as a smile spread across her lips. “Incredible…” 

He beamed before rolling himself off of her with effort. “You were amazing…” He sighed contentedly before pulling her into his arms. His eyes felt heavy as she cuddled up to his side, pulling up the blankets to cover them. She kissed his shoulder before sighing blissfully.

He looked down at her before kissing her forehead and gently sitting up. “I should probably go…” He didn’t expect to start instantly acting like a couple, staying in her bed. “I don’t want to-” 

She shoved him back down on the bed, restoring his shoulder as her pillow. “I want you to stay…” She snipped at him. 

He stared down at her, before a small smile graced his lips. “Okay, Sakura…” He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and held her tight to him. 

She looked up at him and pecked his lips. “Thank you, Shikamaru…” 

He nodded, kissing her forehead. “I’ll always be here for you, however you need me, Sakura…”

They fell asleep, tangled in each other’s arms. 

A couple hours later, Ino came to check on Sakura. She knew her teammate struggled with his emotions, and that Sakura’s temper was hardly patient. She invited herself in, not noticing anything out of the ordinary.

“It’s awful quiet…” She narrowed her eyes, knowing the last time she came here, knowing she was home and it was this quiet, she had been in her room, asleep with her eyes tear-stained.

She sauntered up to her room, worry filling her mind. She pushed the door open, expecting to forcefully drag her friend out of bed. Ready to take her straight to Shikamaru and fix her friends up herself if she had to. 

But what she found made her heart swell with love and joy for a couple of the most important people in her life. Shikamaru was lying on his back with his hair down, framing his face, and thoroughly tangled. Sakura was nestled against his side using his chest as her pillow, her pink tresses splayed across his shoulder behind her, his arm wrapped tightly around her. Their clothes were scattered about the floor around the bed. The nosy blonde smirked, as she noted scratch marks on his chest, and lovebites along her neck and shoulders, and how Sakura lips swollen with kisses. They looked so happy and she couldn’t help but smile at the sight of them. She knew they would kill her for it later, but she took a quick picture on her phone, and sent it to Sakura.

It’s about damn time Shikamaru fessed up. Happy for you, Forehead.