#guess I'll find out one day
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I (finally) finished Season one during my 7 hour long train ride, and since nobody asked, here's a new summary.
The Magnus Archives but I've finished season one (and that didn't help with the confusion)
There's Jon. He's an Archivist, and he got that anxiety rizz™
He also sounds like his life would crumbie in pieces if he doesn't have a seventh cup of coffee before the sun rises.
I can relate.
One of the causes of his anxiety seems to be his least favourite colleague, Martin.
Martin is described as unqualified, suspected to be a ghost and sent into various deadly situations.
He also sleeps in Jalapeño's bed.
I FUCKING LOVE GERARD KEAY
Everyone works in a modern remake of the Library of Alexandria, which would be very cool if there weren't a lot of murderous creatures.
(there are a lot of murderous creatures)
And worms. Would we still love them if they were human? Probably not.
Everything is ruled by a guy named Elias Bouchard. Everyone told me that he's nice.
In what world is a guy named fucking Bouchard nice?
Jane Prentiss is spreading the worm agenda.
SHE DESERVED MORE THAN THAT HELP IS THERE A CHARITY WHERE I CAN GIVE HER A VIRTUAL HUG???
Michael the eldritch horror is very lovely.
OH AND I DIDN'T TELL YOU BUT JALAPEÑO USES THE TAPE RECORDER CAUSE THE STATEMENTS DON'T WORK ON COMPUTER. THERE'S A REASON BEHIND ALL THAT.
That also means that there are statements that can be recorded on the computer and that we therefore don't see. I want to know what they're about.
#JusticeForSasha2k24
I am still lost in the English names.
Gerard Keay still burns books.
But that's ok, cause they're evil books from BLOODY JÜRGEN LEITNER I HATE JÜRGEN LEITNER DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THIS USELESS PIECE OF SHITTY OLD PARCHMENT WHEN HE WAS BORN HIS MOTHER CRIED AND SHOULD HAVE STRANGLED HIM I WISH HE GOES TO HELL ALTHOUGH NO HE WOULD RUIN THE GAY PARTY HAPPENING THERE I WISH HE DISAPPEARED IN THE COFFIN WE SEE AT THE BEGINNING AND WENT ON A CRUISE IN PETER LUKAS' BOAT GOD I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO SAY ABOUT THIS LITERARY DISHONOUR. Fuck you, Leitner.
Hmm, yeah. Sorry. Where was I?
Season one's over, still no trace of the queer rep I was teased with.
Although, that may be a good thing, given the fact that as soon as a gay appears, they get killed/ replaced/ vanished by by some antique object.
Does that mean antique objects are homophobes?
Although these antiques come from Salesa's shop. Perhaps Salesa's the real straight supremacist here.
Selling dangerous items seems like a rentable activity tho. I should do the same.
Starting from now. Does anyone want a totally-not-illegal coffin? Antique dolls? You get your money back if they kill you.
So...uh...yeah. Good show. Amazing sound effects. Watch it. Wahoo.
#duckposting#the magnus archives#tma#discovery of the tma universe#elias bouchard#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#jane prentiss#gerry keay#why is he called gerry by the fandom?#guess I'll find out one day#seriously listen to tma it's very great
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guys you'll NEVER believe what today is
silly unimportant things below :]
originally i was going to draw shit! that didnt turn out well i got lazy and didnt finish either of these. maybe one day but theyre not exactly a priority
aand some texts i thought were funny
didnt think id be posting about fnaf and valorant on my birthday. what a wild life i lead
#cypher#valorant#valfurant#cyphare#do these even like count as valorant tags anymore#at what point have i removed something so far from context where it is both morally wrong and incorrect to tag them as valorant#guess i'll find out one day#fnaf
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DIABOLIK LOVERS Night Pool Ruki Mukami Acrylic Photo Card
#you guys seemed to like the bromide i posted the other day#and since i'm guessing that ruki's abs played a not insignificant part in said admiration#i figured you wouldn't mind some more eye candy heheh#so this one is especially for you; my fellow women and men of culture \(///∇///)\#enjoy (*＾་།＾*)#ruki mukami#diabolik lovers#diabolik lovers official art#ruki's abs#mine#not my proudest work tbh#i tried for the longest time to find the bromide but no luck#so had to settle for this one instead which unfortunately turned out to have miscolorings and scratches so...yeah#i did my best lol#hopefully those glorious abs will make up for the flaws dhdjfj#i'm still looking for the bromide btw and if i manage to snag one you better believe i'll post it as soon as i receive it (☆｀• ω •´)ｂ#but in the meantime we'll have to make due with this
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Nobuhiko Okamoto really out there promoting his BL manga that is basically a bkdk au and you people here are just... NOT TALKING ABOUT IT?????
#bakudeku#bkdk#he really said: FINE if no one else is gonna do it i guess i'll have to do it myself#'this is a work of pure love 🥹'#one of the characters is a crybaby called uzuki and he was bullied as a kid and the other one is blond and he's uzuki's hero#and they're childhood friends whose relationship got strained over the years but now they're in high school together and they get kidnapped#and forced into some...survival game(?) where they have to fuck or die and it's called 'boku no spirited away'#like????? SIR????? EXPLAIN YOURSELF?!?!?!?#can't believe no one here is talking about it and i had to find out when i randomly saw it mentioned by someone from a different fandom#you're all on twitter and get these interesting news every day yet you choose to leave us all here in the dark. NOT FAIR
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There's something special about Moon being the only side of the DCA who has canonically (gameverse) voiced his counterpart's name ("No more Sun", which yes it's not him directly saying Sun's name since it's a figure of speech, but still) whereas Sun - the chatterbox - only refers to Moon via "he" or "other me". Moon, the quiet one who mostly laughs vs Sun who mostly uses words. Sun, who is scared of Moon, never utters his name whereas Moon clearly has no problem with it. Both of them using "we☀️/us🌙" prior to Eclipse. Moon, whose only opinion of Sun we can infer is "the other me trapped me in light so now I trap him in shadow", vs Sun's whole thing which is profoundly more fleshed out.
I don't know man, the "no more Sun" line always did things to me. I remember playing Ruin for the first time and getting this... jarring emotion when I heard Moon saying that. It's such a small line but good god did I latch onto it.
#dca#daycare attendant#villain.text#fnaf#I have an entire post on my fandom side blog hidden in my drafts#about the way sun and moon refer to themselves and each other#and it's really fun#sun refers to himself as an I more often than moon does btw#which is probably because of the way moon structures is sentences#moon rarely puts himself as a subject to he barely talks about himself#example: bad children must be found vs I will find you#it's implicit he'll find you but he doesn't say it#you must be punished vs I'll punish uou#you*#he only really says I in the deleted voiceline of 'im putting you in time out'#sun is the one who structures his sentences more 'normally' and tends to speak of himself and has mo qualms with being the subject of his#own sentences#I'm rambling#maybe I'll post that one day#I'm a bit shy#sorry for the typos in the tags I can't correct it on mobile#also moon speaks in a much more childish manner. which I guess can be creepy#but I always found horror things like that cute rather than scary lmao#I am once again so sad they didn't use the dca to prop up vanny/vanessa. how fun would it be to get a line like that from vanny.#telling gregory there is no more night guard woman only rabbit lady. and then he saves her.
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the doctor isnt neurodivergent or autistic or adhd or nonbinary or genderqueer or asexual. what the doctor is, is Not From Here
#which necessarily of course says something abt their (non)whiteness#(i had all these words in quotation marks first so mentally add those to whiteness too)#but we've them be black for all of 1.5 episode now so#lets see how that develops you know#also i dont think i understand the politics of that part well enough to say much abt it#not that i probably understand the politics of these parts better but#im annoyed enough abt this Thing happening these years. in these 20s i guess. the 'representation' thing#to complain abt it anyway#the dsm isnt real and it isnt gonna fuck you buddy#maybe i'll read some books and then one day i'll write an essay driven by spite and pettiness#i wonder if i can make the thesis statement about the tension between their status of main character#in a 60 year running family adventure show vs this therapy thing we're doing now#like. you cant do that. in terms of like. what story is and does. what a character is and does. it strains#in an interesting way. like im not saying they Shouldnt have done it. im just observing. that you cant do that really. i think#or maybe you can! but i'll find that out#i also dont know shit abt narratology or whatever so. need to read books first. sigh#always have to pause my thoughts to read myself in first its so annoying. esp bc i rarely really do#bc then new thoughts new things to do you cant do EVERYTHING. you can do almost nothing. bane of my existence really#but like you might even be able to say smth interesting here about whether you can call them traumatised at all#remember that article i saw around on tumblr a few years ago i think that was abt like. some scholar in the middle east maybe#saying that ptsd is a western thing bc it necessitates a Post#all of this is western. psychiatry is western. its all stories. how you conceptualise trauma is a story#whos Other is story#where youre from is a story what you stand for is a story who you are is a story#ah. checked the article. dr samah jabr. palestinian. i'll start with her book maybe
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We left Loyalty's Meander at the same time our last guests did. Apparently, the horrible murder-cult vibes weren't enough to deter them, so now we have allies! That's nice, I guess.
Blackthorn learned to walk while we were road-tripping and I couldn't get this scene from Ice Age out of my head while I was trying to draw it so you just get the scene instead.
Thanks to the vehicle mod, it only took us eight days to get here, so here we are! I can't wait to see the ship!
hmmmmmmmm
there is... no ship
That is problematic. We'll try to mine into those mountains and see if there's a ship hidden in there somewhere, but I fear this may call for some Dev Mode intervention from Ecthuctu themselves...
Duchess now is not a good time
Curly, that is RUDE. Ecthuctu will not be impressed by this slight, mark my words... Terrible things are coming for you.
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#rimworld#gracie plays#The Children of Ecthuctu#art#my art#traditional art#rimworld art#unpolished art#Nice to have allies for as long as we'll remain on the planet I guess#thanks Hesak#the trip went well#we did run out of food one day before we arrived#so everybody is on the edge of a mental break but I'm sure they'll be fiiiiine#I tell you who's not fine#ME#Where's my damn ship#I travelled all this way#I intend to get this cult off the planet if it KILLS THEM#or if I have to use Dev Mode idk#I'll do a poll if I can't find a ship in the mountains#duchess is too fertile for this colony#or maybe it's blackdragon#i dunno one of them is too fertile#and Curly...#Curly is on thin ice#Henry would NEVER#have a lovely day y'all <3#tw ice age baby
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(click for better resolution, etc.)
#adamandi#ambrose wellington bassford#infer as you will i suppose. wanted to draw a statue ambrose but accidentally painted it because smth smth blending fits him#again. main things taken from lyrics of the actual show ++ this definition i checked with google because i didn't remember it off the top#of my head. but Thoughts indeed#sfgdhhdf ok hello i am back today has been a Day (not very good) (oh well) (small mercies) ...#did not expect the melliot to find this so quickly but since i guess the Official Tumblr has reblogged it i'll just edit this one.#as opposed to reuploading. o//o#i painted it at 2am on impulse and have very little recollection of the whole event -? and then in a fit of pique added words and posted it#it is Very different from the original draft. i'd like to maybe do that one justice someday... anyways something something sometimes#a piece of art you make organically Evolves of its own volition... anyways.#maybe i'm projecting but recently (tuesday?) i found out something Important i had in the works Collapsed in the kiln#kaboom. ah the perils of ceramics. anyway thanks to the messed up 3d of everything i'm working on rn (the pros and cons of visual art subj#is that you get to make art for a grade) and. ceramics and sculpture and classics etcetera. <blinks> wow i really latched on to art aspects.#but nevertheless! ambrose brainrot real. iirc my thoughts were smth like. most strongly. that contrapposto? based on my school art history#was that it evolved from the very neutral rigid ancient greek sculptures of people which were all about Mathematical Symmetry. because#the main thing about contrapposto was that it reflected irl people more... more life-like? so it's very ironic to me#that Alive ambrose went and tried to turn himself into a statue. with part of the draw being contrapposto.. like?????#ah yes you like this sculpture because it's lifelike. and you'd rather be a sculpture than alive huh. the contrasts are !! in my head#also maybe i just.. wanted to paint... idk i had ambrose on the brain yesterday and it was something about sculptural messed up perfection#fun fact!!! the skin and hair i all greyed out to look like marble. fun fact number two: he has no eyes in this. like no pupils :3#fun fact number 3 (irrelevant) marble statues are only common wrt ancient greece bc the romans iirc came along and repurposed the bronzes.#because apparently bronze was a Hot Commodity at the time. and in return to preserve the art they made marble replicas. so most marble#ancient greek statues are apparently copies and the originals had totally different aesthetics#fun fact number 4: the background is a very greyed out image of my broken ceramics.. i wanted something nice to come out of it at least#fun fact number 5: i wanted to make him crack. like shattered ceramic or smth. that was the original idea. but instead it went to the pretty#sculpture route... kinda wanna make the messed up one though!!#fun fact number 6! because of Art Studio i'm covered in white paint and like it doesn't come off so it's been on my fingers and arms and#basically everywhere. so flesh turning into white stuff aes is fascinating i wanna explore... fun fact no.7.. i have accidentally maybe#began using screenshots as drawing practice. idk what to do with this info. if anything nice turns up ig i'll post it maybe
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the imposter syndrome i feel every time i even slightly think i might be autistic is insane, specially for a person who highly relates to the lived experiences of people who are professionally diagnosed.
Like I was just watching this one youtuber, and she was talking about very specific examples in her life and childhood where she saw autistic traits that made her realize she was autistic and then seek a diagnosis and then get one, and everything she was saying was like she was describing my life! But yeah no, I can't be autistic tho
#and one thing that has been filling me with dread (as if it was relevant lol) is the idea of seeking a diagnosis and#either not geting it because it's already so hard to find a diagnosis for '''''''women''''''' (afabs)#and that will make me doubt myself even more! but most importantly those around me who already don't believe me#but also i'm very scared about this one thing in particular which is the talking to your parents portion of the diagnosis#where the therapist will want to talk to people who knew me as a child... and that person will have to be my mom#and i'm pretty sure she will dismiss most signs. like she would either not bring them up because ''they're normal''#or play them as less important than they were#or maybe she didn't even notice them! because most of my struggles are internal!#things like being bullied or having no friends or liking a routine#idk if she'll be able to talk about all those#because my bullying wasn't violent it was mostly dismissive#my ''friends'' weren't really friends like i didn't CARE for them as maybe someone would have#and also they would leave me for no reason at all out of the blue... so i don't think even THEY considered ME a friend#and liking routine i guess she could say i prefered it but she doesn't know to the extent i hated going off it#i'm sure she forgot about the time i cried (as a 10 year old so not THAT young) because they made us change classroom#and i didn't know that was gonna happen... it was added to the anxiety that i thought my mother wouldn't be able to find me#but like the unknown classroom traumatized me (to this day i get anxious just thinking about that)#like... all those things i don't think she would bring up (if she could even) and i fear that will make me not get a diagnosis#not that this is a thing that's gonna happen cause as i established i cannot afford a therapist nor i'll ever get a diagnosis i don't think#so like it's not relevant#but i am anxious about it nonetheless#angel talks#personal#idk what's my point with this post btw i'm just venting and creaming to the void#dkfjhgdfg
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#tw suicide#idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT#i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone#and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess#but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm#but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing#hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this 😭#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse#to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house#and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like#to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age#but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me#also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently#tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me#i thought it was a “let's live together and get a cat one day” relationship#but now i feel like for them. it was just a “sex and video games” type situation#i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself#and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons#most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear#this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly#sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point#and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have#the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona#so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem#anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope
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how many (distinctly different) asks can i put in before they get annoying?
One.
(ooc: just putting this in the body of the post to be sure you see it, but. This is very much just the Kim answer! I am still behind on asks because of Life Stuff and have a bunch left to get to sometime, but yall are always free to send me literally as many as you guys want. If I get repeats I'll bundle em or delete 'em- responses still just might be a while. And ty for the asks!)
#pine.txt#asks#suitmannotabot#rp#kim pine#sp comic#spvtwtg#spto#spvtw#not answering any other asks so I'm just straight postin this one! sorry if anyone got excited lol ik i usually try to do a couple at once#just wanted to remind people that I WILL answer stuff again one day... hopefully soon 💔 I miss doing this stuff so much#(last two tags ooc just for clarification. didnt feel like doing the ooc: at the start)#still ooc edit here: i absolutely read this and the other one in bill's voice btw bc of the icon. i just finished rewatching GF recently lo#whoops! forgot another tag#... actually Legitimately forgot. what was my continuity tag i was using? not in standard continuity??#not in standard continuity#i guess I'll find out in a second here#what if I stop using that tag sometime soon and i just go back and tag all the old stuff like ''old lore'' or something
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😫
#xoxod#ur girl woke up with covid 💀#ive never had it before!!!#but i have kinda fallen behind on my vaccines 😅#was planning to get one when i got my flu shot this fall#SIGH!!#i dont even GO anywhere!!!!#idk what my jobs covid policy is anymore i guess i gotta find out#but i imagine i'll be out of work for at least a few days so thats kinda fun?#if only i didn't feel like SHIT
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Sunday doodles
#you ever just *puts feet on the wall*#or sit upside down off the side of your bed#i saw a post earlier this week I've been trying to find about fearing god#i read it but didn't have time to share my thoughts and i forgot to save it to my drafts so i lost it#anyway they talked about fearing god in service today#the overlap of related events like this scares me all the time#like... i know this stuff just happens and they had this sermon planned for months and it's coincidental#''but what if god is actually real and this is him trying to talk to me? what if he's trying to move me back on track?''#that's something i can't help but think#i'm starting to think I'll never know what is real and whether there's a god and if i really am setting myself up to burn in hell#i have to make a choice whether to leave my friends and hide who I am and go back to the church#or be myself and enjoy my time alive knowing what could be waiting for me when I go#I know that sounds extremely dramatic but it's something I think about a lot#it's one thing for someone to have never gotten to known God#but some say that the one unforgivable sin - the only thing that can keep you out of heaven forever...#...is knowing god and accepting him in your heart but then turning your back on him#I've done those rituals; been baptized and taken communion and said the famous prayer#if that unforgivable sin is true then I guess i've already made my choice; there really is no going back for me haha#damn right that god is scary lol#not tagging the game because I monolouged too much lmao#doodles#sunday doodles#depressing sunday doodle posts have arrived once again#dw im chilling today just lost in thought#was able to put in pto so i get the day to reflect on the very important things 21 year olds think about#things like ''what could've been'' and ''how do i want to draw my next fluffy boy''
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I kinda hate how dead Half Life/HLVRAI tumblr rp is. :(
Then again I may just not have found those people yet. Wanted to rp Half Life on here, but yeah, couldn't find any active accounts.
Anyway, if you come across this and you'd like to rp Half Life or HLVRAI on discord, you can send me a message, and I'll check you out. :> As long as you're a pretty decent person who won't ask anything illegal of me, I wouldn't be opposed. I'm also A-Okay with OC's.
#half life#hlvrai#rp#looking for people to rp with because I can't really find anyone active on here by searching#btw I'm 27 years old because I figure mentioning my age is important#Anyway I'm not expecting anyone to respond to this or even to message me#Also looking for people to rp with because I'm not really having the most fun on Twitter trying to rp with people I'm honestly frustrated#a rant is incoming below#like things were going great for a little while and then people just gradually lost interest in me I guess :(#like even people who I really liked interacting with who seemed to like interacting with me just kind of stopped unless I approach first#even then they may just like my response and respond to someone else#It's to the point where I'm questioning if they even like me or they are just tolerating me#like I'm lucky if I even get one response to something I post in a day so it's not very fun anymore#I want to post that I want to take a break but I know I'll be pissed if everyone and their dog comes out of the woodwork to respond#because it's like “this is why I'm taking a break no one responds unless I have an issue”#it's been ongoing for a couple weeks to the point where I've made a line graph
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RULES: Post the last sentence you wrote (fanfic / original / anything) and tag as many people as there are words in the sentence
Tagged by @alittleflashvibe thank you! I am very excited to read your fic from that sentence. I haven't done mountains and mountains of writing for the past few days (having a break after somehow managing to get those other fics done), but I have finally had an idea for the Wally Fic! Still a little bit between what I have and the part I've just written, but I am having Ideas so here's a sentence:
“Time is a gift,” Henry said.
Tagging @goldheartedchaoticdisaster @shrinkthisviolet @angst-is-love-angst-is-life @kitkatt0430 @ftl-faster-than-life @simpledontmeanpeachy if you'd like?
#of course this is because i actually sat down to write the flashvibe ghost au but i have made inchings of progress on both now which is good#i think i actually could do a chapter break here then just skip forward in time that should work#i'll get my laptop and stick s2 on tomorrow that should get it moving#debating singing it up to the wip big bang but i'm not that optimistic yet and their rules strongly encouraging having a beta#so i guess if anyone would be willing i'd hugely appreciate it but i don't know if i'll sign it up yet or not#sign ups go till the end of may so i'll think it over some more#one day of having ideas does not mean i can whack out the fic that's been a wip for like 4 years in a few months#and i might open my laptop tomorrow and go back to the flashvibe ghost au i just got to the part cisco finds out he's talking to a ghost#anyway#replies#wip#*
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just finished a comic i had been wanting to make for a while :) it is an adaptation of sonic battle's ending :)) i have learned that drawing sonic the hedgehog sad is actually very difficult :))) i only cried once while drawing it :)))) it will post tomorrow teehee
#don't know what compelled me to color and render 6 pages in one day but i suuuure did :))))))))))#i don't really know if it'll impact anyone else the same way that it did for me but um. guess i'll find out WAHOO#ferntext
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