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mimzy-writing-online · 4 years ago

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Writing Toph Beifong, Advice from a Blind Writer

I’m Mimzy, an actual visually impaired writer and blogger who talks a lot about writing blind characters accurately and sensitively. A while back someone sent me an anon asking how to write Toph more accurately and sensitively.

Anonymous asked: Hi there! Your blog has been super-helpful already - I thought I knew a bit about writing with blind characters, but it turns out there was a lot to learn - but this is more specific. I'm writing a The Last Airbender fanfiction, and one of the characters is Toph. I think the fandom has done a fairly good job of respecting her blindness, but what are some things you'd like to see when people write her? I want to represent the character as best as possible; thanks in advance!

It’s taken a while for me to answer because I have a lot of thoughts about it as both a blind writer and someone who has read a lot of atla fanfiction. So here we go:

Before we get started, I want to mention some things:

One: I have an entire series for writing blind characters that continues to grow with time and the most up-to-date version can be found pinned as the top post on my blog. There will be a time-stamp for when the post was last edited and a long series of links to all relevant posts on the subject.

Here’s a quick link to that post, but again, all you have to do is click my blog url and you’ll find it immediately.

Two: I’ve noticed something amazing about the atla fandom and I would like to thank you for it. I’ve noticed a lot of bloggers have taken to writing image descriptions for both the fanart and memes you post in the fandom, whether it’s OP including the description or another blogger adding it themselves. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a fandom so consistently doing this and that’s incredible. Realizing how many different blogs were picking up this habit has warmed my heart.

I’d like to see writers use her other senses. There’s soooo so much more to her O&M (Orientation and Mobility) than earth sense.

Beyond sight and earth bending, there’s hearing, touch, smell, taste, sense of direction, hot vs cold, sense of pain, sense of where your body parts are in relation to the rest of you, sense of internal well-being, etc. Before Toph had mastery of her earth bending, she had to have mastery of those too.

Toph also must have very strong opinions about certain smells, sounds, tastes, and textures. Toph is opinionated about everything, and when so much of your understanding of the world depends on senses that most people are ignoring in favor of some other sense you don’t have, it gets frustrating. I’m sure that tree looks pretty but the smell is terrible. Who cares if this fabric looks pretty, it’s scratchy, do. not. like. at. all.

But also in positive ways too. Oh, that flower arrangement looks bland and monochromatic? Who cares, it smells sweet and honey-like. Weird dark cavern with high ceiling and no light? The harmonics are awesome.

Every character probably has a certain sight or image they’re particularly fond of: Katara watching snow fall, or Aang enjoying how small the world looks from up on Appa, or Zuko enjoying the sunrise every morning during meditation. In that line, Toph must have some things personal to her that she enjoys.

I imagine she likes the taste of foods familiar to her childhood, the smell of whatever flowers grew around her home, and the texture of certain kinds of dirt Example: loose dirt probably isn’t the best for seeing, but I think she would enjoy how it feels to run her fingers through it or maybe enjoy the way it softens her perception of the world the same way sighted people like to see colorful, bright lights reflecting off puddles in the middle of rain.

If you struggle with this, that’s okay. I recommend taking some time to think about it for yourself, to find what tastes and smells and textures and sounds you enjoy the most, what makes you feel safe and at home, what brings you comfort, and relate that back to Toph.

In a Modern AU, I want to see Toph have a cane. Even in a Modern AU with bending included in the world building, I think Toph would benefit from having a cane.

The cane has a lot more function than bumping into things. A big part is that it signals to others that you are very obviously blind. Which is a big deal because sighted people are really, really bad at spotting the blind person.

(psst, please stop saying ‘the blank look in her eyes’ because I swear to god it’s been killing me inside for years.)

Also, even in an AU with bending, I think Toph would like the advantage of tapping her cane to create a stronger, more distinct vibration than a small shifting of her weight on her feet. It would have more control.

You could give Toph a guide animal, buuuuuuut, um, Toph is not a guide dog person. Like, there are some people who definitely prefer a guide dog, and some people who definitely prefer a cane, and some who definitely prefer no mobility device at all. Toph does not have the vibes of someone who wants to be both responsible and reliant on an animal when she’s so insistent that she can take care of herself on her own. Toph likes animals, but not that much.

Although, yeah, only 10% of the blind community use mobility devices, so cane and guide dog users are the minority of the blind community, but I stand by the vibe that Toph would love the independence of a cane. Also, it’s almost never ever done. Modern AUs never seem to touch much on Toph’s O&M skills with canes or guide dogs.

I wrote a whole post on everything you need to know about canes, what orientation and mobility is, how you learn O&M, what kind of canes exist, how to use them, how to describe the sensory input a cane gives you, and everything I know about guide dogs from past research.

Honestly, you could give Toph (or any blind character) a cane in any AU, because I fully stand by the theory that canes are a piece of technology that has been invented, lost, and reinvented again and again.

I wrote “I found a piece of lost blindness history” a few months ago after a visit to see my grandparents. My grandmother told me how her blind aunt found a way to write letters by hand to send to my grandmother when she was a child. I speculated on how the long cane has probably been invented and then lost and then reinvented over and over again in history, as well as giving a little history on the growing popularity of guide dogs in the 20th century following World War 1.

About the “blank look in her eyes,” I have a theory to the exact cause and nature of Toph’s blindness.

I know it’s common to think that the milky green color of her eyes is why she’s blind, though I’m not sure how many realize that milky green color is caused by severe cataracts. At least, cataracts is what I assume to be the reason for the color of her eyes. However, people with cataracts still have some remaining sense of light and shadow perception.

Only 9% of the blind community is completely blind, seeing absolutely nothing. The rest have some remaining vision, even if that’s only light and shadow perception or the perception of vague movement.

The percentage of people born completely blind is even smaller.

Toph says that she’s never been able to see, which would lead me to guess that the initial cause of her blindness was a defect with the visual processing part of her brain. I also theorize that the cataracts developed slowly over her very formative years and that she likely wasn’t born with them. For that reason, I think it would have taken a few weeks or months for her parents to realize there was something wrong with her eyes.

Here is a post about the developmental years of blind children and how their life would differ from both sighted children and from someone who went blind as an adult.

What is it like to see nothing?

It’s a concept that sighted people struggle with and I completely understand. I myself didn’t understand the concept of “nothing” until someone explained it as this:

“Imagine trying to see out the back of your head.”

Which, genuinely, imagine that. Try that. Because here’s what I found. There’s no part of my body that can help perceive that. I don’t have eyes there, nor do I have a part of my brain that can process that. Because of this, there is no sense of light or dark, no shape or shadow or movement or depth that I can perceive. There is nothing.

And honestly, it gives me a headache trying to think too much about it.

Toph doesn’t see black, doesn’t have a mental image of it. When people talk about light and dark, Toph has nothing to base the concept on. The closest relation she has to that is silence versus sound, or her earth sense when she’s in the air on Appa versus when she’s on solid ground. But it’s not the same.

I would like to examine the way the show tried to describe Toph’s earth sense, that black void with ripples of white stretching from her feet and outwards. Television is a visual medium so of course their explanation of Toph’s earth sense would be visual, but that’s not what it’s actually like in her head. More accurately, it’s like touching the back of your head to something and feeling what’s solid behind it and what has more give. A wall versus a pillow for example. Slamming your hand on a flimsy table and feeling it rattle under your palm. And for someone so adept at using that sense, she feels not just the table surface under her palm, but the individual rattles down the four legs, how uneven those rattles are because the legs are carved decoratively instead of solid planks, and how the foot of each leg bumps against the ground, and how the floor vibrates in response to the impact, which she feels in both her feet and hand.

About Toph’s Relationship with Her Parents

It’s not something I see touched on much. There’s been a lot of focus on Zuko and Azula’s relationship with their parents and the abuse, as well as exploration of Sokka and Katara’s trauma with losing their mother, and Sokka looking up to his warrior father while Katara struggles with her abandonment issues.

Please don’t take this as a critique, because there are a few valid reasons for this and I would like to give you some insight on how to explore Toph’s relationship with her parents.

For starters, the show had a lot more reason to focus on Zuko and Azula’s parents, with Fire Lord Ozai being the primary villain and Zuko’s greatest abuser, and Azula’s dependent worship of her father in response to Ursa’s neglect and favoritism of Zuko, which was likely Ursa’s response to Ozai’s favoritism of Azula. Their parents are huge driving motivators for why Zuko and Azula make the decisions and mistakes they do, why they are at one point in the show the villains themselves. (And why I think Azula should get a redemption arc and some healing.)

Katara’s trauma of losing her mother and blaming herself is a huge factor in both her response to the war, her relationship with her bending, and her motherly nature with her friends. The show has to explore that. Just as it has to explore Sokka’s problems with toxic masculinity in response to being the man of his village, and his desire to be a great warrior and leader like the father he idolizes.

The show needs to explore that to make the plot move forward, and it benefits from these being two sibling sets with different responses to their upbringing and different sibling dynamics, setting them up as foils for each other.

The show also wouldn’t benefit by giving Lao and Poppy Beifong more screen time. Their established character were two nobles who kept as far out of the war as possible and prospered monetarily for it. Poppy was polite and demure and Lao liked to lead the conversation. Unless the gAang decided to return to Toph’s home, those characters had no reason to pop up anywhere in the show. And if they did, they would be a hinder to Toph and her part in the plot as both Aang’s earth bending teacher and as the greatest earth bender in the world, tossing Fire Nation soldiers eight ways to Sunday.

So truly, I understand that there’s not a whole lot of canon material (comparatively) to go off of when developing this, but I will offer some insight on what is there in canon.

Toph’s relationship with her parents is explored in that it maps out why Toph doesn’t want to be mothered by Katara, why she wants to prove how independent she is, but there’s very little on screen interaction between Toph and her parents.

Toph deeply loves her parents. I think that plays into why she doesn’t want Katara mothering her, because she has a wonderful mother at home who she loves and wants to better understand her, but she had no friends growing up and no older sister, which are the roles she needs and wants Katara to fill. If Toph wanted a mother figure, she would have latched onto Katara. Look at how Zuko never sought out another mother figure but did find a father figure in Iroh as he began to heal from his childhood trauma and separate his self image from his father’s acceptance.

Toph is in a complicated situation, she loves her parents but the way they’re raising her is hurting her in the long run. But Toph can see that their actions are because of their immense love for her. She can see how they would do anything for her. While she never had any examples of how other noble children were treated by their parents, who might have been distant or disinterested or always away for their social and work lives, she was remarkably loved by her parents. Her father put careful thought into her tutors and checked in on her progress. Her mother feared for Toph’s emotional state when she was kidnapped (even if she was incorrect about how Toph would respond), showing genuine empathy for her daughter.

I think their over protective nature became the love language Toph best understood them by, and part of her reasoning for not revealing how capable she was, was because she wanted to keep experiencing that love and care for as long as she could. But it’s not a love language she would put up with from anyone else.

I would like to point out Toph’s genuine excitement to see her mom again in the season finale of Book Two, how badly Toph wants her mom to understand and accept her for who she is.

My thoughts on what Toph can’t do: read, swim, see in the sand, fight things mid-air.

For how incredibly powerful the show makes Toph with her earth bending and the O&M she taught herself through it, they do touch on some of her weaknesses when they come up and find a useful way to showcase them.

The Serpent’s Pass was an excellent example of Toph’s vulnerability in water. From her fear of not being able to see on Katara’s ice bridge to not being able to swim and needing Suki to save her, Toph’s weaknesses putting her in danger added to the excitement and “sitting on the edge of your seat” feeling while watching the episode without turning her into someone who was helpless. She was just in a position where her normal defenses were useless.

Just like the earth benders in the metal prison in the ocean, or Katara having little water in the middle of a desert where her friends needed that water to survive more than she needed it to fight, making her vulnerable later in the show when the insect-wasp things attacked. Just like fire benders being weaker at night, or powerless during a solar eclipse, or a sighted person being lost in the dark. Those were just situations in which the tools you were accustomed to relying on could no longer help you or were taken away.

The show was clever in that it didn’t make her inability to read a direct threat to her safety, but rather as a clever plot device for her to be alone when the sand banders attacked and have to choose between fighting them to save Appa, or holding back an entire fricking building by the tiniest spire on its very top from falling into a void leading to the spirit world. It also showed her weakness to not being able to see or fight as well in sand. Which the show later made an effort to show how she’d improved on that problem in Book Three when she was surrounded by nothing but sand at Ember Island.

Like improving her ability to see in the sand, I would like to see a character teach Toph to swim, or at least float, so that she never feels helpless again. If she took the initiative to improve her sand bending so much, I’m sure she would have learn to swim eventually.

And on the note of reading, I’ve seen some speculation on how Toph could learn to read, whether it’s through using ink that has some percentage of earth mixed in, or developing the sensitivity to feel out the different weight, consistency, and texture of ink on paper.

I would like to bring your attention to Louis Braille, the blind Frenchman who invented Braille while studying at the Institut National des Jeunes Aveugles, the world’s very first school for the blind in Paris France (established 1785). Previously Louis was learning to read through a method in which each letter was pressed into the paper to leave an imprint that someone could feel out with just their fingers.

Louis Braille concluded that raised lettering was impractical because-

1. It is difficult to read, the letters had to be printed in huge font to be fully felt out and printed on thick paper.

2. Thick paper means higher quality, more expensive. Larger font means more paper is needed for a single text.

3. This made it inaccessible due to expense and the sheer volume of a text.

4. If today’s Braille books are hard to access and giant compared to traditional books, I can’t imagine how inaccessible those raised letter books really were.

The subject of Braille, the start and controversial near downfall to Institut National des Jeunes Aveugles were discussed in a post about writing a blind character during the Victorian Era.

I’ve heard others complain in the past about fantasy universes in which a sighted person invents a solution to allow the blind to read, when the most effective and longest lived method was invented by a blindman over two hundred years ago and is the standard taught in schools today.

And while I couldn’t easily explain it or how it works because I can neither read Braille nor speak Chinese, I can tell you that Chinese Braille exists and works only slightly differently from the Braille western languages use. So, again, modern AUs especially would benefit from enabling Toph to read Braille and use a computer and phone with screen reader.

But just as easily you could choose not to have her learn to read but rather have sighted people read things aloud to her. Whether it’s in a professional setting as an adult having an assistant who reads and writes for her, or as a cute, fluffy little moment between Toph and another character. Both are just as genuine to the blindness experience.

Blind Jokes

If you ever get around to reading my post about blind jokes, I’d like you to remember that it’s primarily written for people writing original characters and that Toph canonically makes blind jokes, so to take away from that would not be true to her character.

Does Toph’s Earth Sense Negate her Blindness?

It’s a question I’ve seen raised before and discussed by both abled, disabled, and blind people. There are multiple perspectives on it, but my own take on it is that Toph’s earth bending does not negate her blindness, but rather functions very much like the process of learning to use a cane.

She had a tool, a teacher, and she learned to use that tool. Instead of a cane, it was seismic perception and her teacher were blind badger-moles. She spent years learning to earth bend as they do and then continued to take it to new heights as she explored fighting with it on her terms against sighted fighters.

Come to think about it, I would love to see Toph teach another visually impaired or blind earth bender who to see and bend as she does.

Is Toph Good Blindness Representation?

This question was posed to me in the comments of my master post, and my answer was something like this: “Toph is good representation, but she can't be the only type of representation we get. She's the best we had 15 years ago, but there are a million ways to nuance the blindness experiences. Toph's experience being born blind, having very over protective parents, being a small girl in a patriarical and wealth influenced society, having no friends growing up. Those are all great aspects of blindness to show, but there is so much more to explore. As for her blindness and whether or not that's negated, that's also nuanced. She has limits, she's not all-powerful, but she is the best earth bender hands down. More or less, I love Toph, she's a great character, give me like a million more blind characters who are completely different from her.”

I want to see accurate and well-written blind characters become much more common in modern media, and that’s why I started this blog. So if you decide you want to write your own blind character from scratch, feel free to come back and look at some of my other stuff.

End Notes:

I want to thank the anon who sent the original question because it never occurred to me how much the atla fandom would benefit from a post like this.

You should follow my blog. Along with advice about writing blind characters, I write general writing advice and answer questions about writing, college, plot development, character analysis, and living with blindness. I curate writing advice from fellow writeblrs, write my own image descriptions for writing memes, post about mental health and working/living with ADHD, disabilities outside of blindness, and LGBTQA+ topics.

#avatar the last airbender #toph beifong #atla toph #atla #blind character #writing advice #writeblr #fanfiction

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ootahime · 3 years ago

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analyzing every gojohime moment in the manga p2

part 1 is here :3

this post includes more excruciatingly long paragraphs so grab urself something and enjoy LOL

chapter 40

i know they’re not interacting in this panel but i still want to bring it up. i’m gonna give some context to this scene in case someone needs to jog their memory. so basically, mei’s ability to command crows is what allows the staff to observe the students from afar. however, gojo notices that there’s lack of footage where yuuji is and asks mei why that’s so. she tells him that they’re animals at the end of the day so she can’t control what they look at. he doesn’t believe her so he asks her whose side she’s on (for yuuji’s execution vs against yuuji’s execution) to which she responds with, “whose side? i’m on the side with money, of course. there’s no value in something that can’t be bought since you can’t exchange that for money.” in other words, she’ll always choose the side that offers her more money because she doesn’t care about how morally “correct” or “incorrect” something is. it’s not worth fighting for a cause that doesn’t benefit her in the long run which is why she views things that are unable to be bought (friendships, relationships, favors) as useless - they can’t be exchanged for money. it’s clear that gojo knows she’s not on his side because he replies with, “spoken from experience!” or “i wonder how much!” (translation varies). he says it out loud to perhaps let gakuganji know that he’s onto him. i find it interesting how utahime is in the panel as well with a “?” to express her confusion at his words. let’s overthink dissect that. why is she there in the first place? if the message was to let gakuganji know that gojo is aware of his ulterior motives then a panel with gakuganji and gojo would have sufficed. why add utahime with a question mark?

here’s a personal headcanon of mine that makes no absolute sense, but who cares? it makes me happy LOL. so let’s examine the panel. gojo’s face is more simplified and cartoonish with a grey background on top and some sort of white bubble surrounding the three characters. gakuganji is staring at utahime and gojo. in the official viz translation, he replies to mei with, “i wonder how much!”

normal and logical explanation: shading the principal by asking out loud how much mei was paid by him to avoid monitoring yuuji.

gojohime brainrot explanation:

mei: “there’s no value in something that can’t be bought since you can’t exchange that for money”

gojo: (in response) i wonder how much utahime’s love would cost if it did have a price.

utahime: ?

you’re probably thinking i’m delulu (true) BUT HEAR ME OUT. IT WOULD SOMEWHAT MAKE SENSE IN THIS CONTEXT...

mei’s saying seems to be what she lives by. relationships, love, friendships, etc. do not matter to her as this is evident when she ultimately abandons everyone in shibuya to escape to malaysia, selling all her stocks before japan’s economy goes down. she doesn’t care about anyone else. she even takes advantage of ui ui’s adoration for her. she contrasts utahime. utahime is loved by her students. children, especially teenagers, are picky when it comes to choosing the adults they admire and respect. while everyone trusts gojo, they do not respect him because of his childishness and overall absurdity. it’s refreshing to see how they always call him an idiot or have a -_- face when he’s around. when akutami says everyone absolutely adores utahime-sensei, it says a lot. we haven’t seen her interact with her students all that much, but she’s obviously close to them because she’s frequently arguing with momo. even a closed off person like mechamaru wanted to keep her away from danger. she most certainly expresses a lot of concern and care for her students, and gojo and her students can pick up on this.

i’ve talked about this in every post LOLOL but there’s a reason why he went to utahime first to help him investigate. utahime is a loyal person through and through. she would never do something that harms the students even if she was offered everything in the world. she values relationships above everything else. besides her concern for the students, how else was i able to come to this conclusion about her character? well, she got shoko to stop smoking because she was worried about how it might damage her friend’s health. from these two details, it’s obvious that she’s the complete opposite of mei.

maybe that’s why he calls her weak. she’s too selfless and compassionate in a world where every sorcerer is for themselves. the world is cruel as a sorcerer. no matter how hard you try to fight, in the end, you’ll always die alone. remember his talk with megumi after the baseball game? after witnessing megumi pull a sacrificial bunt to help his teammates advance, gojo has a talk with megumi about his attitude and potential. he says that being selfless and caring about others is not a bad thing, but in a world like this, where people always die alone, he is wasting his potential by being concerned with others. it’s okay to be selfish. this is why we see fierce independence in a lot of the sorcerers like mei, nanami, and gojo. they each have their own reasons as to why they work alone, but it’s still a common characteristic. i feel like utahime doesn’t have a selfish bone in her body. i speculate that her selflessness is the exact reason why she is being held back. during her mission to exorcise a grade 1 spirit by herself, the final task before being promoted to grade 1, she likely got distracted trying to help civilians out of danger and failed her mission. he’s right when he says she doesn’t have the guts to be the traitor, utahime doesn’t have it in her to do something so boldly solely for her own benefit.

after this long tangent, how does this relate to your headcanon, ootahime?

as you know, love is not transactional. you can’t pay someone to love you. what if gojo is asking himself how much it would cost to buy her love. hence, her confusion because she is oblivious to what he really means. it could be probable because gakuganji is observing not only gojo, but utahime as well. so what gojo says must involve her too, right?

or she could just be confused because his words seem out of place because she is unaware of what gakuganji is doing behind everyone’s back. that explanation makes sense for viz’s official translation but it doesn’t make sense when he says, “spoken from experience!” because his words make sense in that context. he’s basically saying that mei’s beliefs must be based on her past experiences so he understands why she feels this way. that’s an appropriate response to mei’s statement so i don’t see why utahime would be confused by this. unless i’m interpreting this whole scene completely wrong. in that case, whoopsies!

let me know if you’re confused because i’m willing to clarify. idk why but i found this really difficult to explain. maybe because i’m reaching so hard haha

chapter 40

he finds any way he can to tease her. they seem like a married couple watching a movie or something. does he take pride in being the only person she doesn’t get along with? i mean, she says it herself so he is aware she thinks he’s annoying, but he keeps picking on her anyway. he doesn’t even pick on his enemies this much LMAOOO i think the only other person he likes to make fun of is gakuganji but he does so because he doesn’t agree with his views. with utahime it’s different. he trusts her a lot and even looks out for her.

chapter 44

why are there two separate instances of gakuganji observing utahime and gojo’s interactions from afar? nah i’m just playing. he’s just looking because he’s concerned she’ll run into the semi-grade 1 curse he had for yuuji. OKAY BUT I NOTICED SOMETHING KINDA CUTE? whenever utahime says something suddenly, he always has those 3 little triangles near his head. it’s like he’s thinking, “oh! utahime is speaking, i must listen <3″ look at his face too. he’s looking at her like :O

this is also an example of her showcasing her concern for the students in front of gojo. i feel like he questions why she’s so caring because if it were him, he would have left the student to figure it out themselves. i really wonder how she would react if he answered her truthfully when she asked what he’d do if she were the traitor.

chapter 45

there’s not much to say here...they’re just cute. i know it’ll never happen but i’d like to see them fight side by side one day. i’m aware that gojo works best alone but i just want to see how they’d work together, okay? 😔

chapter 45

see the little triangles on his head again? UGH SO CUTE.

chapter 45

IS THIS NOT INTENTIONAL??? they share the same thoughts. he even finished her thought. mannnnnnnnnnnnn what is akutami doing? giving us false hope and stripping it away just for fun? making them work so well together for what??

chapter 52

cute how he looks out for her. i have nothing more to say LOL

chapter 53

notice how they’re sitting across from each other? HEHE

chapter 53

yet another instance of her caring for her students in front of gojo. in the anime she has the cutest expression when she says she’s glad the students are safe. i bet gojo saw that too. i also bet that she looks prettier from his point of view.

extra

from the manga and light novels, gojo and utahime are the ones that talk about sports the most. he most definitely chose baseball to cheer her up. it’s not a coincidence people!

i feel like i had a lot more to say but i completely lost my train of thought while writing this, especially with chapter 40. i’m once again writing this at 4 in the morning LOL........ please please please add on or share your thoughts! thank you for reading and sorry for any mistakes.

#gojohime #gouta #gojo x utahime

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mst3kproject · 3 years ago

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The Monster Maker

I could have sworn J. Carroll Naish was on MST3K at some point but the only thing I can find from his filmography that has appeared on this blog is Dracula vs Frankenstein, in which he played Dr. D'Ray. Not that it matters. The Monster Maker's producer, Sigmund Neufeld, also brought us MST3K feature The Mad Monster, and writer Sam Newfield penned both that film and I Accuse my Parents (not to mention the world's only all-midget cowboy musical, Terror of Tiny Town), but mostly I'm watching this movie because... well, you know, it sucks.

I know what you're thinking, and as far as I can tell, no, Sigmund Neufeld and Sam Newfield are not the same guy who's just bad at pseudonyms.

Anthony Lawrence is one of the world's greatest pianists, but with a concert tour finished he's looking forward to relaxing and spending some time with his daughter Patricia and her fiance Bob. Sadly, this is not to be, as Patricia has come to the attention of Dr. Igor Markov, who believes her to be the reincarnation of his dead wife Leonora. He spends weeks harassing poor Pat, until her father storms over to Markov's office to tell him where he can shove his attentions. Little does Lawrence know he's walking into a trap. Markov has been experimenting on animals in his basement, and if Lawrence doesn't hand over Patricia, the next syringe is for him!

I have mixed feelings about this movie. It surprisingly subverts several tropes of the mad scientist movie, including some it deliberately sets up only to pull the rug out from under them, resulting in a surprisingly happy ending. On the other hand, it does this in ways that aren't always very satisfying, and its treatment of the disabled is frightful.

For an illustrative example, let's take Dr. Markov's caged gorilla. The movie never tells us why he has a caged gorilla. He says it's vital to his work but we never see him do anything much with it... I assume it's there because the caged gorilla was a standard part of the mad scientist lab equipment in the 1940s and 50s. The only time we see him interact with it is when he sets it loose in the middle of the night to murder his traitorous assistant, Maxine, who had threatened to go to the police. We cut to the gorilla back in its cage the next morning, and we assume Maxine is dead – only to have her walk in and tell us that her protective dog drove the gorilla back to the lab.

This is kind of a fun moment, not only because it's a surprise but because everything in it was set up, not just the gorilla but the animosity between it and the dog. It also enables the eventual happy ending – after Markov is killed, Patricia worries that nobody else will be able to help her father. However, Maxine is familiar with Markov's work, and assures her that Lawrence will be just fine with a few weeks of treatment. That's all quite nice for a mad scientist movie of this vintage! It's also interesting in that it tells us these tropes were around to be subverted – that audiences in 1944 had already seen enough stupid mad scientist movies to know that the gorilla is supposed to kill the traitorous assistant and that the ending is supposed to be a tragedy.

The problem is that this leaves the gorilla with no reason to be in the movie at all besides to fake us out. It ultimately has no effect on the plot whatsoever other than to establish Markov as a bastard, which by now we already knew. You cannot put Chekov's Gorilla in a cage in act one, wave it around in act two before putting it back with a 'psych!', and then not have it break somebody's neck in act three. It still has to do something, or you're just being a tease.

The fact that Maxine is able to cure Lawrence speaks to the fact that The Monster Maker is surprisingly respectful of its women. Maxine is quite intelligent and knows her love for Markov is self-destructive, but feels she has devoted too much of her life to him to leave him now. Patricia is a less substantial character, but her father treats her with great respect – when Markov demands Patricia in exchange for a cure, Lawrence continues to refuse even after the mad doctor has robbed him of his friends, his passion, and his career. Pat's fiance Bob has fewer principles, as he repeatedly lies to her in the belief that he is protecting her from the truth, but this too is presented as the wrong thing to do and I hope we're meant to believe Bob learns from it. The screenwriters' general attitude seems to be that women should be allowed to make up their own minds about things.

Markov, as the villain, is also the movie's misogynist, and this is in no way subtle. He wants to marry Patricia because she resembles Leonora – and that's it. Her personality, her background, and her wishes mean nothing to him. All he cares about is her face. What she represents to him is an attempt to undo the wrong he did to Leonora herself. We eventually learn that Leonora left him for another man, and in revenge he injected her with his monster juice. He had hoped that her new love would leave her because she was no longer beautiful, but in fact Leonora committed suicide because she couldn't stand to look at herself in the mirror.

This tends to make one wonder what would have happened if Leonora had tried to crawl back to Markov. At the time this happened, he didn't yet have a cure for his creations. Would he have gone on to find one sooner in order to help her? Or would he, too, have rejected her now that she was ugly? I kind of suspect the latter. He's only sorry about any of this because she died. He wanted her back less than he wanted her to live in misery, knowing that without her looks she would have no value.

Interestingly, this also applies somewhat to Lawrence. As his condition progresses, he locks himself in his room and puts records on so that nobody will realize he is now unable to play the piano... but he also keeps the lights off and refuses to admit anybody, too ashamed to show his face. Ugliness apparently makes both sexes unfit company for the rest of us.

Markov himself speaks with a German accent despite having a Russian name. He manages to be slightly less creepy than the Great Vorelli or Dr. Carlo Lombardi, but only because he never resorts to rape via hypnosis. Upon realizing he has found a cure for a terrible disease, his first reaction is to triumphantly declare that he can charge whatever he wants for it... eighty years later, that's still depressingly relevant.

So all this is okay and at times fairly progressive for the 1940s, but now we have to get into The Monster Maker's attitude towards the disabled. I've been a little cagey about exactly what it is Dr. Markov is doing to his victims, and you've probably been picturing some sort of mutagen that makes them go all lumpy and melty like that guy in Robocop. Unfortunately, no. Remember acromegaly, the hormonal disorder that Richard Kiel and Rondo Hatton suffered from? Yeah. Markov has a bottle of it in his cupboard.

I don't know how you bottle acromegaly, but at least they did better than the people who made Tarantula and fucking spelled it right.

Acromegaly is not a cheerful diagnosis. Lawrence's doctor tells him it's not fatal, but that isn't always true – a lot of sufferers, including Hatton, die from the complications. It disfigures the head, hands, and feet, and would definitely be a devastating disease for a pianist... all of which makes it that much worse that this stupid movie keeps using the word 'monster'. Lawrence even describes himself as such, comparing his situation to that of Frankenstein's Monster and declaring that he will similarly kill Markov for what he has done to him. In the end he does exactly that, and the movie never addresses it on any level besides 'boy, good thing the bad guy is dead!'

This is probably because, clearly, the real monster Markov has made is himself... but that's subtext. In the text, his monsters are his overgrown pigs and Anthony Lawrence. I just blasted Tarantula for spelling the name of the condition incorrectly, but that movie at least did not even imply that its human acromegaliacs were 'monsters'. They were in every way victims, even when their sufferings were as a result of experimenting on themselves. Lawrence is also a victim, but the movie plays up the 'monster' idea in more than just the title: Lawrence's condition also makes him restless and prone to violence, as he repeatedly attacks Markov and at one point must be tied to a bed to prevent him doing so. Markov suggests that this is a side effect of the hormonal problems, but Lawrence's own belief that he's becoming a 'monster' also appears to have something to do with it.

In the end, this movie is way too much like The Brute Man, in telling us that the ugly and disabled can never be an accepted part of society. Hal Moffat was forced into the shadows, while Anthony Lawrence takes to them voluntarily, but for the same reason: ugliness is made for gawking at, not for normal relationships such as that between partners, or parents and children. Fuck that.

#mst3k #reviews #the monster maker #episodes that never were #guys in gorilla suits #40s #tw: rape

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ladyofasoiaf · 4 years ago

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Sweet blue flower on the wall = Death

There are many theories about how this vision foreshadows Daenerys’ doom/death.

A blue flower grew from a chink in a wall of ice, and filled the air with sweetness… mother of dragons, bride of fire…

[ACOK; Daenerys IV]

I want to show that how some symbols in this vision are bad omens for Daenerys.

COLOR BLUE:

The merchant prince sat up sharply. “Pyat Pree has blue lips, and it is truly said that blue lips speak only lies. Heed the wisdom of one who loves you. Warlocks are bitter creatures who eat dust and drink of shadows. They will give you naught. They have naught to give.”

[ACOK; Daenerys III]

“Blue lips speak only lies, isn’t that what Xaro told you? Why do you care what the warlocks whispered? All they wanted was to suck the life from you, you know that now.”

[ACOK; Daenerys V]

“Not all your enemies are in the Yellow City. Beware men with cold hearts and blue lips. You had not been gone from Qarth a fortnight when Pyat Pree set out with three of his fellow warlocks, to seek for you in Pentos.”

[ADWD; Daenerys III]

THE WALL (WHICH IS A WALL OF ICE):

The next morning she woke stiff and sore and aching, with ants crawling on her arms and legs and face. When she realized what they were, she kicked aside the stalks of dry brown grass that had served as her bed and blanket and struggled to her feet. She had bites all over her, little red bumps, itchy and inflamed. Where did all the ants come from? Dany brushed them from her arms and legs and belly. She ran a hand across her stubbly scalp where her hair had burned away, and felt more ants on her head, and one crawling down the back of her neck. She knocked them off and crushed them under her bare feet. There were so many…

It turned out that their anthill was on the other side of her wall. She wondered how the ants had managed to climb over it and find her. To them these tumbledown stones must loom as huge as the Wall of Westeros. The biggest wall in all the world, her brother Viserys used to say, as proud as if he’d built it himself.

[ADWD; Daenerys X]

SWEET SMELL:

“Sweet smells are sometimes used to cover foul ones.”

[ACOK; Daenerys II]

A foul, sweet smell rose from the wound, so thick it almost choked her.

[AGOT; Daenerys VIII]

While I was looking at the last example with sweet smell, I realized that this is the chapter that Drogo falls ill. And I started to read it for further clues…

And I’ve found this:

When they were alone, Ser Jorah drew his dagger. Deftly, with a delicacy surprising in such a big man, he began to scrape away the black leaves and dried blue mud from Drogo’s chest. The plaster had caked hard as the mud walls of the Lamb Men, and like those walls it cracked easily. Ser Jorah broke the dry mud with his knife, pried thechunks from the flesh, peeled off the leaves one by one. A foul, sweet smell rose from the wound, so thick it almost choked her. The leaves were crusted with blood and pus, Drogo’s breast black and glistening with corruption.

“No," Dany whispered as tears ran down her cheeks. "No, please, gods hear me, no.”

[AGOT; Daenerys VIII]

LET’S LOOK:

Blue wall of mud

It cracks and leaves chunks on Drogo’s body

A sweet smell rose from his wound which chokes Daenerys.

In this list of Jon x Sansa book hints , I try to tell (with the help of other metas in the fandom) that this vision is about Jon and Sansa being Daenerys’ doom.

(You can check: B4 & B5 for this theory)

BECAUSE THESE IMAGES ARE LINKED WITH JON AND SANSA TOO.

The flower in the Dany’s vision is blue so fans believe that this flower is a blue winter rose.

Therefore this vision might be about Lyanna’s boy Jon who is at the Wall.

But winter roses and (roses especially) are linked with Sansa too.

[*Roses and Sansa is examined here in this Lyanna//Sansa meta]

SANSA IS THE BLUE FLOWER THAT BLOOMED FROM THE NORTH.

Ygritte tells about the song of:

Bael the Bard and the Winterfell’s Blue Rose in ACOK; Jon VI

In the story the blue roses of Winterfell just bloom

and they represent a love between

King Beyond the Wall and Winterfell’s maiden heir

Next chapter is Sansa (ACOK; Sansa IV)

and she flowers for the first time,

next chapter is Jon again. (Jon-Sansa-Jon)

Also both Jon and Sansa have these other symbols as well in their stories; such as Wall and sweet smells:

SANSA’S COURTESY (ARMOR) IS WALL

He had always had a yen to see the Titan of Braavos. Perhaps that would please Sansa. Gently, he spoke of Braavos, and met a wall of sullen courtesy as icy and unyielding as the Wall he had walked once in the north.

[ASOS; Tyrion VIII]

Sansa should take it off only for her husband

“Courtesy is a lady’s armor,” Sansa said. Her septa had always told her that.

“I am your husband. You can take off your armor now.”

[ASOS; Sansa III]

But the Wall belongs to Jon

The Wall is mine, Jon reminded himself whenever he felt his strength flagging.

[ASOS; Jon VIII]

The Wall is mine, he reminded himself.

[ASOS; Jon IX]

The Wall was his, the night was dark, and he had a king to face.

[ASOS; Jon XII]

Never. “I cannot speak to what my father might have done. I took an oath, Your Grace. The Wall is mine.”

[ADWD; Jon I]

The Wall is mine, and the Watch as well. The Night’s Watch takes no part.

[ADWD; Jon II]

I should be walking the ice. The Wall is mine.

[ADWD; Jon III]

The Wall is mine, Jon reminded himself as the winchmen were swinging in the cage, for two more days, at least.

[ADWD; Jon XI]

“I must do as I think best. With respect, Your Grace, the Wall is mine,and so is this decision.”

[ADWD; Jon XIII]

SANSA IS SWEET SMELLING

Sansa Stark, he mused. Soft-spoken sweet-smelling Sansa, who loved silks, songs, chivalry and tall gallant knights with handsome faces.

[ASOS; Tyrion III]

She brought a dozen of the queen’s favorite scents as well. Sansa chose a sharp sweet fragrance with a hint of lemon in it under the smell of flowers. The maid dabbed some on her finger and touched Sansa behind each ear, and under her chin, and then lightly on her nipples.

[ASOS; Sansa III]

IN CONCLUSION:

Sansa is the SWEET-SMELLING BLUE ROSE and she is armored with icy WALL of courtesy and that Wall belongs to Jon. (Jon is Sansa’s armor)

SO:

The symbols in Dany’s visions are bad omen for her.

These symbols are: Blue, Wall, Sweetness

We see these words when Dany tells us Drogo’s falling ill and later he dies…

What about the FLOWER? Where is the flower in that Drogo chapter?

We said that the flower in the vision is most likely a ROSE.

(And I showed how blue roses are linked with Jon and Sansa.)

But @kellyvela @butterflies-dragons pointed out the greatest word play in that Drogo chapter:

A foul, sweet smell ROSE from the wound, so thick it almost choked her.

Grrm really said: PUN INTENDED!!

SWEET (SMELL) ROSE CHOKED HER…

I think it is obvious that Drogo’s death and that vision is linked.

But also look at this:

A blue flower grew from a chink in a wall of ice, and filled the air with sweetness… mother of dragons, bride of fire…

When did she become mother of dragons and bride of fire?

During: Drogo’s funeral pyre!!

(Please read this meta: Daenerys: Mother of Dragons, Bride of Fire )

She had sensed the truth of it long ago, Dany thought as she took a step closer to the conflagration, but the brazier had not been hot enough. The flames writhed before her like the women who had danced at her wedding, whirling and singing and spinning their yellow and orange and crimson veils, fearsome to behold, yet lovely, so lovely, alive with heat. Dany opened her arms to them, her skin flushed and glowing. This is a wedding, too, she thought.

[…]

And now the flames reached her Drogo, and now they were all around him. His clothing took fire, and for an instant the khal was clad in wisps of floating orange silk and tendrils of curling smoke, grey and greasy. Dany’s lips parted and she found herself holding her breath. Part of herwanted to go to him as Ser Jorah had feared, to rush into the flames to beg for his forgiveness and take him inside her one last time, the fire melting the flesh from their bones until they were as one, forever.

[…]

Now, she thought, now, and for an instant she glimpsed Khal Drogobefore her, mounted on his smoky stallion, a flaming lash in his hand. He smiled, and the whip snaked down at the pyre, hissing.

[…]

A rising heat puffed at her face, soft and sudden as a lover’s breath…

[…]

I am Daenerys Stormborn, daughter of dragons, bride of dragons, mother of dragons, don’t you see? Don’t you SEE? With a belch of flame and smoke that reached thirty feet into the sky, the pyre collapsed and came down around her. Unafraid, Dany stepped forward into the firestorm, calling to her children.

The third crack was as loud and sharp as the breaking of the world.

[AGOT; Daenerys X]

IN SUMMARY:

The symbols in HOU vision are similar with the words that Daenerys uses while describing Drogo’s illness. Drogo dies and Dany starts a funeral pyre.

Blue, Wall, sweet, flower (rose) symbols are present in these both chapters (AGOT; Daenerys VIII & ACOK; Daenerys IV)

Even the words “mother of dragons and bride of fire” point out Drogo’s funeral pyre where she became MOD & BOF.

We can assume that this vision hints something really bad for Daenerys (death?)

These symbols also surround Jon and Sansa… and Dany is still waiting for the betrayal for love.

three treasons will you know… once for blood and once for gold and once for love…

Dany thinks about her promised betrayals in her last ADWD chapter and look what happens: (*For Jon vs Daenerys meta you can read this!)

Yet who else could it have been? Reznak, her perfumed seneschal? The Yunkai’i? The Sons of the Harpy? Off in the distance, a wolf howled. The sound made her feel sad and lonely, but no less hungry. As the moon rose above the grasslands, Dany slipped at last into a restless sleep.

[ADWD; Daenerys X]

Jon and Sansa are two wolves… and Dany slips into a sleep..

AND

Let’s not forget that Drogo will return to Daenerys only in death. So it makes sense that hinting Daenerys’ death with Drogo’s… (she kills him in this chapter… kills him for love)

“When will he be as he was?” Dany demanded.

“When the sun rises in the west and sets in the east,” said Mirri Maz Duur. “When the seas go dry and mountains blow in the wind like leaves. When your womb quickens again, and you bear a living child.Then he will return, and not before.”

[…]

And when the bleak dawn broke over an empty horizon, Dany knew that he was truly lost to her. “When the sun rises in the west and sets in the east,” she said sadly. “When the seas go dry and mountains blow in the wind like leaves. When my womb quickens again, and I bear a living child. Then you will return, my sun-and-stars, and not before.”

Never, the darkness cried, never never never.

[…]

If I look back I am lost. It hurt even to walk, and she wanted to sleep, to sleep and not to dream. She knelt, kissed Drogo on the lips, and pressed the cushion down across his face.

[AGOT; Daenerys IX]

SHOW BONUS:

In this post this vision is discussed also in show verse and it makes great points. I also want to point out that how Dany reunites with Drogo AFTER she passes the throne room with BLUE FLOWER (Sansa) and the WALL (Jon).

Because in my meta I examine how blue, rose, wall and sweetness are linked with Jon/Sansa AND Drogo’s death…

And how it is probably hinting Dany’s own death because it means reuniting with Drogo and Rhaego …

Never, the darkness cried, never never never.

[AGOT; Daenerys IX]

She passes the BLUE FLOWER (?) ON THE WALL:

She passes through the WALL OF ICE:

She reaches END OF THE WORLD:

She REUNITES with Drogo and Rhaego:

Then you will return, my sun-and-stars, and not before.”

Never, the darkness cried, never never never.

[AGOT; Daenerys IX]

#mine #acok #agot #meta #theory #hou visions #got #ASoIaF

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allthebest20 · 4 years ago

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Butter Honey Pig Bread by Francesca Ekwuyasi

8/10. A joy to read and a great debut novel. I think the author has even better work ahead of her. The characters are complex and unique, and the book explores modernity, pain, and generational spirituality in a very readable style. I couldn’t help but make assumptions about the author as I read the book: definitely Nigerian, definitely a cook, definitely spent time in London and Canada, definitely queer, definitely raised in the Church, but also definitely spiritual. The authenticity with which she writes, especially in regards to being queer in the modern world and the cultures of different places, is what makes this book great. The story dances between the gruesome details of reality in the twenty-first century and romanticized views of youth and love. It raises a lot of questions in me about the international class system, wealth, and privilege.

The only real complaint that I have is around one of the main plot points: the rape of Kehinde when she is 12. While this is a turning point in all their lives, I feel as though it is also simultaneously underappreciated, as if the author choose this event simply because it was one of the worst things she could think of. I think this is a common pit fall for authors. A lot of traumatic things happen to this family: Kambi, the mother, is very mental ill, Banji, the twin’s beloved father, is murdered, Taiye, the queer twin, struggles with her own mental health. Yet, the rape is regarded as the primary Bad Thing and all the other traumatic events are hardly discussed. I appreciate how the author takes some time, maybe 1 chapter, to discuss Kehinde’s relationship to sex and her body. Yet, Kehinde’s life seems to be mostly unaffected by this event, except in the way she punishes her family with her silence. She is in a healthy relationship. She does not abuse alcohol or drugs. She has a successful career. Ultimately, it’s not a book about overcoming childhood sexual abuse. It’s a book about mending a family after years of pain, resentment, distance, and silence. I almost feel as though the book could have been stronger if it focused more on the effects of Banji’s death and Kambi’s violence and depression on the twins. Ultimately, though, sexual abuse is just a thing that happens to a lot of kids, and perhaps it serves a purpose to write a book where it happens, it’s horrible, but it doesn’t need to be put under a magnifying glass. It just reverberates.

This book could have been about a lot of things. When I picked it off the shelf at the library, I barely read the entire description, immediately caught by the spiritual nature of Kambi’s being and the brief mention of “reckless hedonism.” I was pleasantly surprised to find out that Taiye was a lesbian, and I saw a lot of myself in her: the serial string of intense relationships, always slated to go nowhere, the indulgence in food and weed and dancing and occasionally other drugs, the loneliness and missing family but not being able to connect with them, the exploration of religion and spirituality and non-monogamy, seeing and feeling things you don’t know are real. I feel like a lot of modern young adults live like Taiye does, unsure what to look for except comfort. I love how the author mentioned the chaotic draw of dating apps. I love how Taiye is a stoner. I love how Taiye loves organic butter and fair trade chocolate and cooking extravagant meals for anyone who will eat it. I LOVE how the author includes recipes for what Taiye is cooking. Although I probably won’t use those recipes, I did want to cook what Taiye was cooking, and it reads just like my brain reads when I am absorbed in a culinary project. This book could have been more about what it means to be a lesbian, but it only barely describes her formative romantic and sexual experiences. The author details the first time Taiye calls her self gay out loud and has queer sex, but this is long after she has had gay feelings and gay experiences. The author does not explore Taiye’s inner turmoil, and it is unclear if Taiye struggles at all with her sexuality in the long term.

I also like how the book explores mental illness. It doesn’t shy away from both the good and the bad parts. It doesn’t shame medication use. It explores the spiritual powers of those who’s brains work differently. Kambi’s voice explores suicide in an interesting way: both from the frequent pull of the voices, asking Kambi to escape the pain of living, and Kambi’s own knowledge that she wants to remain here with her family. Although I have perhaps 0 hard examples of mental illness being spiritual, I still want to believe that those who hear voices, who see things, who feel things, are connected to the spiritual in a way that those who live entirely in reality are not. This book explores one such case. I also found it interesting how Taiye inherits some of Kambi’s crazy (struggles to speak as a young child, depressed, sleep walks) and some of Kambi’s magic (draws people to her, sees and hears beyond). This make Taiye feel closer to her mom as she ages, while Kehinde remains unsure. This book could have been more about generational mental illness and the pain and distance it causes, but instead the author focuses on the magic of it all. It asks, quietly, if the girls should be mad at their mother, can they be mad at her? From the outside, Kehinde knows that Kambi is respoinsible for the scar on Taiye’s face, but yet we, the audience, know that Kambi had to do this to prevent Taiye from killing the rapist, Uncle Earnest. Does Kehinde know this? How can she understand? In a family, we have no choice but to forgive and let live if we cannot understand, or else remain alienated. This is the underlying message of the book.

The book has a complicated timeline: the main story line follows the events of a six month period in which the three main characters are united again in Lagos, after over a decade apart. Slowly, in tangents, the three characters’ backstory is explained.

The book features a few key locations:

Nigeria (specifically Abeokuta, where Kambirinachi is born, Ife, where she spends her youth, and Lagos, where she raises her family),

London (where the twins were born and where Taiye lived for 9 years during and after university),

and Canada (Kehinde lives in Montreal since attending university there and Taiye lives in Halifax after London).

I’ve never been to Nigeria or London, but I love the way the author writes the dialogue and the characters from each place. I cannot say if they are accurate, but they have a clear and unique voice, not homogeneous but also representative of those place-based qualities that unite an area. The characters give me a glimpse into what it feels like to be Nigerian abroad vs. Nigerian at home. She rarely writes about interpersonal incidents of racism: the characters are mostly well liked, treated nicely by the people in their life, given opportunities. I think that contributes to the feeling of romanticism in the story. Racism is discussed on a more systematic level: they have problems at the airport, Taiye learns about the history of racism in Canada. As someone who has been to Canada, knows about the history of Canada, and lives very close to Canada, I enjoyed hearing about Taiye learning about Canada’s dark side, something that is so rarely discussed by the general public. However, for those of us who are interested, the evidence is everywhere. The history is just waiting to be explored by anyone who is interested in looking just slightly beyond the state-issued textbooks. I thought the way the author wrote about Canada was really authentic, which convinces me that the way she writes about London and Nigeria must also be accurate. What it must be like to be Ekwuyasi, so intimately familiar with places so far apart.

There was one line in the book that really stuck with me: as Taiye is traveling home, she passes through the busy streets of Lagos, crowded with street children, and she is reminded of her privilege in a very visual way, something she doesn’t get in Canada or London. This is the view the West wants us to have of Africa: a whole continent made of dirty huts and begging children on busy urban roads. Yes, poverty looks different in Nigeria than it does in Canada, but that doesn’t mean that everyone in Nigeria is somehow poorer. In fact, this family has a beautiful compound and a trust fund. Despite having a trust fund, Taiye still makes decisions on a strict budget and denies herself luxuries to save money, the way I do. I don’t really know a lot of people with trust funds, so I can’t tell if this is an international thing or if there are American kids who act like this. It kind of annoyed me when Taiye wrote to the culinary program saying she didn’t have enough to pay for the program, when in reality she just didn’t want to dip into her trust fund. I don’t know if there were limited spots/funds available for people who couldn’t afford to pay full price, but I hate when rich people forget what it means to actually not have money. Being cheap and being poor are two different things, often way more opposing than people think. Rich people are often the ones who know how to exploit the system to get what they want for less, while the poor are left with less connections and less time to work it.

Still, I refrain from delivering too harsh judgement on Taiye. I do not know the size of the trust fund. I know their family home was a gift, so perhaps the fund is to be saved for medical emergencies and property taxes. I’m not sure how insurance or taxes work in Nigeria, although I know the government is very unstable. How did they pay for international university? Did that come from the trust fund? The whole plot line has me thinking a lot about wealth and class on an international level. While I grew up comfortably, I often felt like my family was poor because of how rich everyone in our town was. I wonder what it would have been like to grow up in a compound and see homeless children often, but also ingest international media that cast your entire country as poor and to know your government is unstable.

All in all, the book touches on many of the central issues of modern life While it only brushes the surfaces of these topics, it had me thinking for days and wanting to know more. Perhaps I will search out an some Nigerian autobiographies / memoirs in the future.

#book #fiction #francesca ekwuyasi #butter honey pig bread #cooking #nigeria #lagos #canada #london #halifax #twins #queer #family #spiritual #religion #wealth #class #mental illness #mental health

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shitty-reviews-by-me · 4 years ago

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“Avatar: The Last Airbender” is one of the best shows I’ve seen

This is your spoiler warning.

Note: I started writing this forever ago when I actually finished the show, but my procrastination is deadly, so I only got through the paragraph on Zuko before waiting like a month to pick it up again.

Note 2.0: I know that there are comics that continue the series where it left off, but I haven’t read any of them. All of this will be based soley off of atla.

I started watching “Avatar: The Last Airbender” for two reasons. One, I remember seeing parts of episodes here and there as a small child, and I found what I saw intriguing; and two, my boyfriend just really, really loves it. When it showed up in the Netflix Spotlight I knew I was going to watch it, but it ended up taking longer for me to get to it than I originally expected. I procrastinate doing things I want to do just as much as things I don’t, but that’s another story.

I’m going to keep the actual review short. The show has been finished since 2008 and there is probably not much that I can say that hasn’t already been said. Besides that, I mostly just want to talk about my opinions because I have a lot of them.

“Avatar: The Last Airbender” is great on all accounts. All of the characters were interesting and complex. The plot was extremely complex, but easy to understand by anyone, no matter their age. In fact, when I made my grandma watch the first episode, it seemed like she kind of enjoyed it. Of course it is also possible she said that to be nice and was really thinking “what the fuck” the entire time. I haven’t found a single person say they don’t like “Avatar: The Last Airbender,” but maybe I’m not looking hard enough. Honestly I don’t know what else to say, I’m sorry, I just really want to talk about my opinions.

Let’s Talk About Zuko (because I love him)

I mean just look at him. How could he not be your favorite. Zuko is probably the best developed character in atla, and I’ll be honest, I never saw him as a “bad guy.” I mean, he was certainly a villian, but he wasn’t a bad person. In the first few episodes, Zuko is already painted as a sympathetic villian. We learn that as a young teenager his father banished him, sending him into a search for the Avatar. A search that was seemingly destined to fail. It is important to remember that Zuko was a CHILD. His family turned on him and all he wanted was join them again. Zuko’s actions were overall understandable.

Now Let’s Talk About Azula (she deserves better)

Azula doesn’t get as much sympathy as Zuko for obvious reasons. When the show ends her fate isn’t as clear as all the other characters. We get to see Ozai rotting in a cell, but Azula’s last scene is her having a complete mental breakdown after Katara managed to best her in combat. I’m sure the comics cover what happens next for her, but again I haven’t read them.

I’ve seen tons of people calling Azula a psycho, and an irredeemable monster, but I wholeheartedly disagree. Like Zuko she is just a child. She is only fourteen years old when the events of atla take place, and is the product of manipulation and abuse from both of her parents. She deserves a redemtion arc. There are videos and posts that will explain Azula’s psyche better than I ever will be able to, but I’m gonna try anyway.

I would like to make it clear that I do not believe Ozai deserves redemption. He was a grown ass adult who abused and manipulated everyone around him. While Azula also abused and manipulated the people around her, she did so as a child, following her father’s example. In addition to that, we know that Ursa’s belief that Azula was a monster hurt her. Ursa never showed that she believed Azula could be a better person, and therefore why would Azula be choose to be kind and good when her father rewarded the abusive tendencies she developed? One of the big differences between Zuko and Azula’s upbringing is that their mother believed in Zuko. She believed he could do good in the world but failed to show Azula the kindness she showed Zuko.

The cycle of abuse is very real. Pretending that Azula is just some psycho, and not a child following the pattern of behavior she saw growing up is immature. There is no question that she regularly did horrible things, and I don’t even think that her friends, Ty Lee and Mai, or Zuko should forgive her if they don’t want to, but she does deserve a fresh start. Let’s be real, Azula would need a lot of therapy to even get to a place where she could potentially be redeemed or forgiven.

In summary, people need to stop writing Azula off as an irredeemable psycho.

Kataang: Thanks I Hate It (just hear me out, okay)

Kataang vs. Zutara is such a huge debate, and trust me, I’ll get into Zutara, but right now I want to talk about why I don’t like Kataang in a list format.

Their Age Difference-- I think sometimes adults writing teen/preteen characters completely forget what it’s like to actually be those ages. Aang is twelve (I get that he’s technically one hundred and twelve) and Katara is fourteen. While two years really isn’t a big age difference, especially as people get older, it is a little weird when the the people are twelve and fourteen. When I’ve brought up this age difference to people I’ve always heard the argument that Aang is mature for his age and that’s why it works. That is a faulty for a number of reasons. First of all, the claim that someone is mature for their age is used to justify inappropriate relationships by pedophiles all the time. Secondly, it could be argued that Katara is mature for her age as well, so there is no way their maturity is equal. My final point, there’s a good chance Aang hasn’t even gone through puberty yet while Katara is definitely well on her way on that front. Maybe that sounds weird, but males start puberty between the Ages of nine and fourteen, which means there Aang is at a pretty average age to START puberty. Females start puberty between the ages of eight and thirteen which means she’s well on her way. Like I said, puberty sounds like a weird thing to bring up, but a lot of maturity come from going throught puberty.

They Made Such Good Friends-- Aang and Katara had such a good friendship throughout the show. It could have been a great example of a platonic friendship between a straight cis guy and a straight cis girl. Instead we got the male and female lead end up together, just like they do in everything else.

No Evidence of Reciprocated Feeling-- While obviously Katara must like Aang because otherwise she wouldn’t have kissed him, I don’t think there was very much evidence leading up to that moment that Katara had any sort of romantic feelings towards Aang. Throughout the series she says she only sees him as a good friend, almost as a brother. I will admit, there were hints here and there. In the episode The Fortuneteller, Katara is told she’ll marry a powerful bender, and in the end of the episode she realizes that Aang is an extremely powerful bender. In the secret tunnel her and Aang kiss/almost kiss (I can’t remember exactly), and in that moment it seems like maybe she could have feelings for him. Other than various small moments there isn’t a lot of evidence that she liked him. I think the evolution of Katara’s feelings should have gotten more attention because the kiss at the end felt a bit like it was out of nowhere.

It’s A Missed Opportunity-- There are so many cases in real life of cis men thinking their entitled to a romantic relationship with a woman because they’re friends, or she was kind to him once. Because of the young intended audience for the show, it could have been great to show little kids that it’s okay if romantic feelings towards someone aren’t reciprocated, and that it doesn’t have to ruin a friendship. Also that no body is really at fault when that kind of thing happens. It would have been a good lesson but obviously it didn’t go that way.

I haven’s seen it, but I know that in Legend of Korra you find out that Aang and Katara ended up getting married and having children. I think that still could have happened if they ended atla as friends. It could have been them developing feelings for eachother as young adults.

This ship has potential but I wish they did it differently in canon.

Zutara Isn’t Ideal Either

Honestly my biggest problem with this ship is the fact that many of the people who ship it don’t take into accout the fact that they both (particularly Katara) have trauma because of the other person. Zuko spent months hunting down and intimidating the gaang. Like I said he’s redeemed himself but that shouldn’t just brush the terrible things he did under the rug. Katara threatens Zuko’s life when he first joins the gaang, and I can’t blame her for that. She doesn’t know whether or not he’s really changed.

Like Kataang this ship has potential, but it shouldn’t be romantasized beyond the limits of what is possible.

In Summary

(wish i could give credit to whoever drew this but i don’t know who it was)

I could write a book on all of the opinion I have about this spectacular series. However, I’m exhaused and want to go to sleep. I will not be proofreading this, sorry.

Legend of Korra was just put on netflix and I’m sure that once I watch it I’ll have a million more things to say.

I don’t know how to end this, so uh... Peace?

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kurou3gi-blog · 5 years ago

Note

It means that an Arab acc ig supposed that Ji accepted jk because they were after the gay couple.Interesting to talk about it, because now that I remembered that a twitter account had something similar in 2019.And that the rumors about the gay couple had been strong since September 2018.But your anon has to remember that in order for Ji to save his ass and Ks's, he will lie about everything.I just find your attitudes strange these days.As if he had choked for years and wanted to speak the truth.

Tbh I know my thinking is more hell and overload every time XD

And really knows that my words can harm, mess, lure even change someone mind.

That’s why after I say I had broken in to pieces, it hard to see I talk about exo before some anon ask me XD

And tried to warning everyone before below the content...

Like I say to other anons more than once that don’t forget that ji didn’t say anything about soo with him on his birthday at 2019. And that clip showed only soo and other happy birthday to ji...

But are you sure it happened at 14th?

Are you sure everybody who we saw they met ji to happy birthday him were meet him at the same day?

Tbh his same cloth not guaranty that it happened on the same day, if we think of his hat-trick same cloth on soo’s early enlistment announcement period... That he went to met ravi, moon and went convenience store on different days in a row with same cloth..

That made some of us had doubted why he wore the same cloth!? XD

Tbh while I answered that previous anon I thought I may talk about why he kept but now he leaked...

But at last I was tired, so I chose to stop it than chose to spread more shade...

So if you want to know what I think why he leaked it....

Let’s go...

I think all of us and all of ekso knew about gay couple can ruin kr people life...

And It’s true...

But like we see some biggest movie pd could coming out with none of any effect because he is a one of big influencers in kr celluloid world... Everyone celebrated his wedding with his boyfriend at 60+ years old XD

So that mean if you have enough power or biggest back up... Gay issue can’t drag you down.... You will pass it even without any hurt...

And that why I used to say more than once that maybe they can coming out if they have enough power.

But like us and they knew... Gay couple issue will destroy their career if someone can unfolded them...

So... All of us think they were separated by some medias need to unfolded and esm tried to cover it....

But if we turn back to around late of 2015... When most of news medias trolled their a bit deep skinship moments on those award events pics at the same time...

Do you think it is just only accidental or willful by conspiracy term?

Tbh I still doubt since the event happened until now...

Why they all trolled those kind of pics to the world like need to say “We knew it!”

And if they knew it.... So, needed to tell esm about this for make money...

Then do you think how much esm must pay to these media?

But then...

If they already knew...

Why they wait until that time and tried to spread tea at the same time?

Even I think they knew it’s impossible to let’s esm pays a ton of money for their idols to them....

So...

They did it for what?

To tell esm for blackmail....

Or helped esm to press ji accept that kstal deal?

Or ......?

Then after those events, they didn’t trolled the combo pics like that again... - -”

To me it felt like a viral thing....

Happened and ended in one shot...

Full of doubt but I pretty sure I can’t clear it with 100%

Only doubt and doubt why blablabla but blablabla then blablabla? blablablabla...

More things since mid of 2015 until after kstal confirmed... I felt like it make sense, none make sense and wthex at the same time....

But I only doubt and kept it inside because I think it’s hard to found the true answer...

So no need to try hard to clear it... Because I think we know something you should keep it in silence only...

Even you think it full of doubt an unfair thing, need more clear but no one answer you. So...

I think at first kd accepted about kstal issue with no doubt in esm’s decision...

But when it passed for a while... They have seen many things happen.... I think they started to doubt in what esm told them about their relationship issue effect...

The first thing that made me think like that is his ig live at late of 2018

But when I saw that his ig live that he shoot despite where the battery is running out. I think he know his battery is running out before shooing. That why i full of question marks again with “he done ig live for what?”

And surprise to saw some comment under that ig live clip said his manager try to stop and said “rumor” before it end…

^^^Sorry if my parlance in these 2 paragraphs looks strange from others.... Because I copied and pasted 2 of them from my old content this.

And yes after I watched that live I felt like he need to tell us about the coming up of his dating issue...

Some of my questions in my head after saw it are... Why he did it?

I think he knew if he trolled some of us can get his point... It’s mean we can see more analysis about how fake of jk...

Even at last ppl can feel only the girl’s delulu that beyond the truth. XD

Is it not make esm risk?

But like we see that none of it in surface except jk was confirmed...

Btw I still doubt why he chose to leak it... Not keep it in secret like it should be...

Even it looks like a viral ig live for kidding feeling than he did it for some result....

But maybe he need only someone get his trigger viral... Who knows...

Then if + cebu ig issues... That’s why I told that anon that this is not first time of his leakage on his ig...

Sometime I felt like he use his ig for testing some tricks... That it’s work or not...

For something in the future...

Ok back to main course again before I take you go far far away... XD

And these are why I think maybe they had doubted in esm words about gay couple effect...

But I think at first their doubt is only a sediment that waiting for the crystallization day...

The day that their last chain was broke...

I think if jk issue not coming up...

They may keep their doubt in silent until the last day....

But because of esm trolled jn issue to ji again...

Maybe that issue was an eruption starter...

To find the truth about their relationship effect...

It’s real right like what esm told them or not...

And someone need to unfolded them is true or not?

Ok back to 2015-2016 again....

All of us who are kdist may knew that because someone tried to unfolded them...

So the dating issue should coming up to cover that hole...

But in other way... Some of fx fc said at last esm chose crystal, not yo*na because crystal already had some rumors about her relationship with amber or some china rich man at the same time...

Do you feel familiar?

One of famous girl and boy idols have bad bad rumors at the same time...

Along with you start to see a bit hint about those girl and boy idols have secret relationship to each other at the same time...

I think at first no one notice about this coincidence...

But if it comes again with same movement...

Are you feeling you wondering?

Why it happened like god need to match them together...?

kstal and jk have a pretty same pattern from the start... But difference in a bit of details and time ending....

So I'm not surprised if they are aware of it and start not trusting esm.

They just accept that deal but not mean they absolutely surrender...

Some of my feelings about esm vs ekso since late of 2016 until now...

It’s feel like if you deceive me, I will deceive you back.

I touched a bit betrayal from them in sometime...

Then...

I think jd issue is ji’s last chain....

How esm lets jd announced about his wedding like a regret surprise made him knew maybe the things they told him not 100% truth...

The thing esm say because of it, so we just let you do it for save your life maybe it was only saved esm life.

Even esm knew jd may too risked if he confessed that thing...

But esm lets jd do without any protect except gave more works to him like a reward...

And lets kr fan fight with ifan. No care ekso will 9 or not...

Because they no care at the started if we notice how lay can’t comeback with ekso anymore by cn gov and then by his schedule... But jackson g7 can come back with g7 all of times.... And lay at last came to kr to send soo enter the military....

So maybe what esm say to them is just only a scam...

Even someone unfolded them... Maybe it may nothing...

Do you remembered some reporter came out to say jk may fake?

I think it’s a good example to show him to know that if he leak something about their relationship...

Maybe it’s not too bad like esm say...

Then maybe jd issue let him to leak it....

That’s why I used to say that I felt like ji want to revenge and strike esm back with that updated.

Then why he waited until this time?

I think he always tries to find the time & way to leak it with good result. And some of his ig leakage before that ig undated are good examples about this...

And why he chose this time...

I think because it’s a good time to leak it if we think of his situation now in the name of sperm member under cpt & esm’s arm....

+ gucci, fenti ambassador....

+ one of vogue’s adore children...

I think esm can’t do anything to hurt him for save their deal at least with those partners...

Then a one thing that maybe true...

Anon said :

And as always, they are employees or former employees who sell information about idols. Only gay couples do not leak because magazines cannot publish because it is prohibited.

So....

If it’s true I think I no wonder if he wait until this time... It’s good chance to leak with take a bit effect or none of it...

+ How we sure ppl get attention, get notice or trust in our analysis about that ig updated? If you not interest in bxb life in girl’s vision...

+ I think ppl not care about what he say then and now. They focused only wow~ soo with ji...

I think most of ppl maybe not remembered what he say on that birthday ig live....

Then if they remembered.. So...?

Like we see kstal & jk was confirmed and ended with they were real and they are faked depend on each ppl vision...

So maybe he leaked it now because he a bit sure that maybe it may not hurt him much and no need to keep it in secret again if esm can unfolded their artist by themselves like what they did with jd issue...

And maybe this is a last test for make him sure before go to the next step...

Who knows....

But these are only my dumb brain cell’s overload....

So hope you enjoy reading... XD

And sorry if it wasted your time...

Tbh I need to talk with more clear...

But I don’t know how to explain some idea from th to eng.

Sorry....

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astrologywithmeghan · 4 years ago

Text

Prediction: Understanding the Nodes in Relation to the next four-five years

1 Corinthians 3:2 “2 I have fed you with milk, and not with meat: for hitherto ye were not able to bear it, neither yet now are ye able.”

Traditionally knowledge has come to us in parts, little by little, and as our ability to digest grew, the dawning of our perception and consciousness allowed us to build upon what we have intuitively and reflexively known. There is little use for knowledge without understanding. The mind develops very similarly to the digestive system, and in fact, we now know that there is a connection between gut microbiota and the health of the brain (we call this the gut-brain-axis).

Our instinctive eating habits followed a similar pattern in earlier societies. Infants were breastfed into early childhood, and solid foods were given sparingly. The human digestive system grew healthy gut microbiota through contact with the soil and prebiotics and probiotics passed through a mother’s milk, and our ability to digest foods grew over time. Humans relied solely on whole foods that were prepared in a loving and palatable way: allowing our digestive systems to work cohesively and intuitively with the foods we consumed through soaking, sprouting, fermenting, and honoring every part of the animals we consumed.

Today we dishonor our bodies and our planet with ravenous hunger. We steal the intuitive instincts that allow infants and toddlers to regulate their digestion by force feeding, insisting children finish everything on their plates, introducing solids too early, eating processed foods, and encouraging the growth of candida in the body. We are, in effect, robbing our children of a healthy microbiome, and of healthy minds.

As our instincts leave us, so too does our ability to gain understanding in this world. When our guts are unhealthy our minds follow suit. We encounter depression, anxiety, inability to concentrate, learning disabilities – the list goes on. Our minds are so intrinsically tied to our appetites that we must meditate on this further to gain understanding in the current state of affairs. As above, so below – we can look at the rise of Rahu in Western Astrology and liken the old mythology to the current state of misinformation and lack of understanding in primordial truths.

In the Vedic myths, when the world was just beginning, the Devas and Asuras were at war with one another and the Asuras had the upper hand. The Devas pled for Lord Brahma’s aid, and he advised them to pray fervently to Lord Vishnu. When Vishnu appeared to the Devas, he told them that in order to defeat the Asuras they must acquire the nectar of immortality – the Amrita. Obtaining the Amrita, however, was such a feat that the Devas would need the aid of the Asuras – and so Vishnu told the Devas to keep harmony with the Asuras, and to give the Asuras whatever they asked so that the Devas and Asuras could churn the ocean of milk, thus obtaining the Amrita. Lord Vishnu promised the Devas that so long as they gave the Asuras everything that they asked for, he would make sure that they would acquire the nectar of immortality. In order to churn the ocean of milk, Vishnu brought Mount Mandera to the ocean and tied the serpent Vasuki around it, the Devas and Asuras could then grab hold of the serpent and churn the ocean in pursuit of the Amrita. Their labor was taxing, but eventually the Amrita arose out of the ocean of milk, and the Asuras desperately wanted the nectar of immortality. The Devas prayed to Lord Vishnu again, telling him that they had followed his instructions, but the Asuras felt deserving of their fair share of the Amrita, so they needed Vishnu to deliver his promise that they would receive the Amrita themselves as long as they worked harmoniously with the Asuras, giving them all that they asked for.

Vishnu morphed into the shape of a beautiful woman and distracted the Asuras while the Devas took turns drinking of the Amrita. One of the Asuras, Svarbhanu, noticed the distraction, and pretended to be a Deva so that he could drink of the Amrita himself, thus becoming immortal. Svarbhanu received one drop of the nectar before he was found out, and Lord Vishnu proceeded to cut the head from off of his body, creating Rahu and Ketu.[1]

Rahu came to represent that part of us that wishes to incarnate on this planet, and it is that part of us that shields us from the truth of our inner nature, creating an illusion that we are separated from Ultimate Reality, and that our sole purpose is to ravenously hunger after and obtain the contents of the house that Rahu sits in within the natal chart. Naturally Rahu represents consumerism.

Ketu, on the other hand is the point of moksha in our natal chart. When we learn to let go of the house that Ketu sits in, we can begin to channel our most true nature, and this realization is ultimately what leads us toward obtaining an understanding of Ultimate Reality. However, the obliteration of the individual and the realization of moksha is not an easy path to take in this material world, and so very few follow this path, and very many are quick to condone it.

So, similarly the Western World resembles the ravenous hunger of Rahu. Western astrologers are quick to defend the incessant need to pursue our desires, even if that leads us into a disconnect between body and mind, or body and soul. Our culture has been socialized to value fast food, quick band-aid cures, and a quick rise to success that is not preceded by any amount of patience, preparation, or development of skill. As our world has moved toward embracing the debilitating nature of Rahu, we have become separated from our ability to gain a careful understanding of the world around us. Our physical realities reflect our mental realities, and both of these realities reflect upon our ability to turn inward and realize how Rahu’s illusions lead to further suffering both within us, and within the world.

I am not suggesting that we should not develop our North Nodes in this lifetime, but finding a healthy balance between the North and South Nodes, and spending time in contemplation about the deeper meaning and implications of feeding a ravenous demon that deludes us into believing that we are individuals that must repeatedly incarnate for fulfilment may help us change the face of this planet. Much of the suffering in this world is perpetuated by the nodal axis, and our disconnect from the principles they represent.

It may help to recall the principle of polarity when we discuss the nodes. The principle of polarity deals with dualism, and the apparent paradox that accompany like and unlike. At what point on the axis does something “bad” become good? At what point does something “good” become “bad”? I have found that a good example of the principle of polarity lies within the axis of minimalism vs. the hoarder. One point thinks and talks a lot about living with minimal belongings that “mean” something to them, while the other side thinks and talks a lot about living with many belongings that “mean” something to them. However, if we look at these subjects more closely, despite seeming to be on opposite spectrums, both the minimalist and the hoarder are ultimately spending a lot of time thinking about “things.”

The nodes are like the Buddha, and the Buddha is a reflection of our current world. When Siddhartha Gautama was born, astrologers came to the kingdom and predicted that the young prince would either grow to be a great spiritual guru, or a great king. Siddhartha’s father did not want Siddhartha to go against his dharma as a Kshatriya, and so the astrologers “remedied” Siddhartha’s chart by telling the king to keep Siddhartha in the palace, so that he would not know the suffering of the world – only the pleasures of the palace. However, destiny cannot be remedied forever, and when Siddhartha left the palace, he had the Four Sights: an old man, a sick man, a dead man, and a holy man. When the veil of illusion (rahu) was lifted from Siddhartha’s experience he set off on a spiritual journey of enlightenment (ketu), and thus fulfilled his destiny. Similarly, in modern times Western society has been shielded from many of the sufferings of the world. Our beloved elders are tucked away in long-term care facilities where only a select few professionals care for them. Death is hidden from view, and we no longer directly cleanse and purify the dead through ancient rituals that infused our ancestors with primordial knowledge and understanding of the process of life and death. Similarly, our sick are tucked away, and although chronic disease infects a high percentage of the developed world, we are still shocked when we learn about the harsh realities of sickness, age, and death. Just like Siddhartha in his early life, we are living in a Rahu-based world, steeped in illusion and veiled from the natural realities of life.

As we ushered in this total solar eclipse in the sign of Sagittarius on December 14th, and as we watch the Great Conjunction of Saturn and Jupiter in the sign of Aquarius this December 21st, ask yourself what occurs when the veils of illusion are lifted from the eyes of those blinded by the effects of Rahu. I predict that as Saturn transits the sign of Aquarius the harsh realities of life will become more obvious to the people of the world, and we will see a great movement toward making more socially conscious decisions concerning the realities of life. We are being faced with the universal problems of aging, sickness, death, and moksha – and just like the Gautama Buddha, society will rise to support those individuals in our own localities (Gemini North Node). I see these events as precedents for the future ingress of Pluto in Aquarius. Our compassion, insight, and rituals will lead us to a better understanding of the cycles of death. We will become more aware of how our actions affect the greater collective consciousness, and we will more closely observe the respect and rituals that support our transitions both into and out of this world.

I wish you all the strength and fortitude that you need during this time, the profound amount of healing that the collective consciousness will undergo in the next 4-5 years will not be an easy journey – healing never is, however, the results will manifest a reality much more suitable for our intuitive and instinctual natures, and we will find a peace in this transformation that can only come through the spiritual liberation of Ketu. When you feel ill at ease, study the story of the Buddha, and liken his story to the pattern we are seeing within our greater consciousness. These stories are the milk given to us before the meat. Our mental and spiritual guts are being prepared and strengthened so that we can digest the message and come out of the mental fog that Rahu has put us under for generations. We are more than consumerism, hunger, and illusion. We have the power to move through and above this, and many of us will. Blessings, Meghan

[1] Ernst Wilhelm, Graha Sutras: Planets of Vedic Astrology (Kala Occult Publishers, 2006), 40 – 43.

#astrology #the great conjunction

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fuckblizzardbearlover · 4 years ago

Text

Ok so reasons why i Love Warcraft the Beginning, and why its perfect and i hope for more. Might be a little incorherant cus i'm just doing my thoughts as they come. i dont have the time to spend hours writing articles i'm not being payed for.

Yes Warcraft is a great, i say Perfect movie. "But it has flaws". Everything does. That perfect movie you love so much? someone found it boring, someone found it pretentious , someone found it stupid. Perfect pizza? someone doesnt like your toppings, someone thought there wasnt enough for it. A movie, a show, a book, art in general cannot be judged by an arbitrary list of items it must meet to sufficient quality. "no plotholes, great acting, good effects" are not good qualifiers. Most ppl dont know the meaning of plotholes, different tons of story require different acting (Casablanca is seen as a masterpiece but i dislike movies of that era because the acting is over the top, stiff, and campy. however that does not make them bad, it just means i dont like it). Really the only way a piece of art can be judged is by judging it based on what it TRIED to do. If your character is suppose to show they are angry in this scene and they just seem constipated then you did fail and that was bad acting. But if your character is suppose to be angry and some of the audience thinks they should have acted a different way, then thats just a difference of opinion between author and audience.

So what did Warcraft the Beginning TRY to do? Pay homage to the original franchise, tell a heartfelt complex story, give a larger than life epic, and reinterpret the story into something thats better than it was and can be accepted by a general audience

-So i love how much the art, style and themes embraced the franchise. The intro was PERFECT. The little cameos and everything were well done. For some weird reason a few thought that was cringe but part of good cameos is world building. They arent putting "this way to the stoutelager inn" so fans can go "i get that refrence" they are doing it to create a scene that involves a sign to an inn and might as well be a real one from the story, right? The franchise STARTED as Err orcs bad humans good but it has since evolved past that, and you saw that with the theme of the H and A heroes banding together against guldan. The armor and costumes were perfect, using the major flair of warcraft without being overly done. Llane's and Lothar's armor is perfect example.

some people have a problem with what i'd say was the "family friendly epic fantasy adventure" aspect of the movie. yes pacing was quick but when you go into a weird story you just suspend disbelief and take things as you go. They never explain how the Flashy Thingies in men in black work, they just do. you accept it and move. And there was some slightly heavy handed themes and moments. but thats what we call Camp. Its a fantasy adventure, you have snark, a few cheesy lines, hope vs darkness and all that good stuff. I remember when Wonder Woman came out an interviewer asked about the....hammy? ending. i think they used a different word. but the idea was that it seemed...bad? that the ending revolved around Wonder woman's faith in humanity, faith in goodness and trying to do good, was naieve. And Patty Jenkens said that she thinks the world needs more hope like that, not everything is doom and gloom and the point of a hero is to be hopeful.

A GOOD movie, a PERFECT movie doesnt need to be high art. Ppl talk about inception cus it was so intense but IMO if half the audience doesnt know whats happening then its not so good is it? and like i said So many "great perfect movies' in history are boring, or weird or unlikable to many people. And i think its a great detriment to the world that people got to act like only high art movies that win awards are any good.

And then there is the story and charactes. I loved Lothar and Llane, very relatable and good example of heroic men. The mirror between the father Lothar and Durotan was great. I loved how well they did the orcs, just everything about them. Like their meeting and having it so that you could only understand the side you were listening from, if you listen when its focused on the orcs and Garona is translating you can hear Llane speaking something that is NOT english. But like even with the kinder orcs they kept the furiosity. Durotan makes it clear that their world is dead and they cannot simply go back, and thats very realisitc. even were it not for guldan if he was fighting to save his people he'd willingly fight the humans if they tried to stop them. It was great seeing them touch on the idea of the fel infused orcs with Medivh's ability to create spells that specifically target them. Oh and geeze his whole arch. the actor and directing i think did a great job of showing him struggling to do as much as he could to help the alliance against the orcs. He seemed addled, like he was losing it or on drugs but you find out it is really because the fel is taking hold of him. thats what was great about the last guardian is the whole Inner monster storyline. Betrayal of one's self and all that. And it showed the variety in the orcs, yes you had dark ones who embraced the pillage too, and its a shame that the campfire scene "but you're...Green" scene didnt make it. Kadgar, did a good job with the whole "he's smart enough to notice when his 'betters' are wrong but he's young and inexperienced and doesnt know how to assert himself" was great. Its funny cus some didnt like he didnt age, but far as i can tell nothing in warcraft even addressed that. Like he mentions once or twice in the book and in click dialogue that it sucks losing his childhood but there is no angst about it. you wouldnt know he's only in his 40s now. Even his little cinematic before legion focused on him taking up the mantle of the guardian.

And then there are the improvements it made. Rise of the Horde was good but they didnt have time to have the 'non fel orcs being around fel turn slightly green', so it was a good choice to have that dynamic visual change. Lothar's son arc i think gave him more of a personal reason to be invested in this other than "defense of our nation". And it kinda sucks in the original narrative that stormwind just kinda got its butt kicked. I'm sure it will still fall but it will be nice to see more effort put into it. And goodness we actually got to see varian's mother? and she was an important part of the story? she was an interesting character and had influence and was crucial to getting garona on their side. Speaking of , Garona by herself is the best change and alone makes this movie better than the original. She is a product of love, the first human/orc couple, presumably when Medivh was first exploring Draenor. And not a tool created by rape? Its so great that this shitty aspect of the story generated from the naive creator's idea of womens place in stories, was rewritten. Oh i'd be the first to say it wasnt malicious. but between Kerrigan and Sylvannas and Garona, heck this attitude exists today. That a man's humanity comes from his family, that he is violent emotionless and a killer but a wife brings out his peace and children his humanity . so the worst thing that can happen to him is his family is killed, thus bringing the beast back. And that for a Woman she is defined by her love of the man, does she reject him or accept him, does she play hard to get or support him? how freely does she give herself to him. And thus the worst thing that can happen to a woman is to have her body violated, and what many guys who grew up in the 70s-90s fantasy era that was the go to story. Woman is violated (in body) and gets her revenge and feels empowered by killing her rapist. while the man is violated by those he LOVES being killed, and empowered by avenging them and finding a new family (or a way to honor the dead ones)

So yea its REALLy awesome that this story rejected that whole farse and said "no, the key behind saving both peoples is a young woman who exists because 2 people from different planets loved each other"

#decided to leave this hear to repost elsewhere when people are awake #warcraft #duncan Jones #warcraft the beginning #the world of warcraft

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carriagelamp · 5 years ago

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April 2020 Book Review - Quarantine Brain Fry Edition

This month of quarantine was much more challenging for me that last March... I suppose because we’re really in the throws of it, and the “extended spring break” feel has worn off. Between general World Anxieties and the incredible challenges of trying to adapt my work into an online setting, my brain has been absolute mush -- and I have a feeling I’m not the only one. Most of my books this month are either very easy reads (comics and children’s novels) or rereads or both! Honestly, I’ve been playing a lot more Animal Crossing than I have been reading...

So the theme for this month of reading? Treat your brain to a rest, and go reread that favourite comic or picture book or graphic novel from when you were a kid. We don’t have libraries or book stores at the moment, so dig deep into your shelf for something you love that you haven’t touched in a while. Here’s what I read:

Ghost Hunters Adventure Club and the Mystery of the Grande Chateau

I’m going to start with best and most unexpected book that I read this month (although this is actually a New Book and not a reread, so maybe it’s a bad start). It’s a Hardy Boys parody novel, and yes it’s by the Game Grumps. The only reason I even found out it existed was because my brother heard about it and we decided that this would be our next Sibling Read Aloud. It made a great read aloud. I was rather skeptical at first, but it was genuinely very clever and very, very funny. There characters were fucking delightful, as they bumbled their way through the mystery, and we ended up accidentally reading almost half the book in one sitting because we couldn’t put it down once we got to endgame. If you like satire and Classic Youth Mystery then do yourself a favour and give this a go. I am desperate for a sequel.

ISHI: Simple Tips from a Solid Friend

A picture book that was recommended to some of the local elementary children who are dealing with isolation from school and their friends. Its beauty is in its simplicity. It shows Ishi, a very simple white stone, experience challenges that it must then find ways to cope with. Things like loneliness, feeling empty or scared, being sad... all things children (and adults, I very much appreciated this little story) may be experiencing. This is definitely a picture book, not a self-help book, but it’s still very encouraging and makes me want to go and create my own Ishi. There’s a reading of it is online, and if you’re feeling like having a solid stone friend reassure you, I would recommend going to listen to it!

Bone 1-5

So, the first in my long list of books that I reread: I’ve started rereading the Bone series for the first time in years. Hands down one of my all time favourite graphic novel series. If you haven’t read Bone, it’s a classic and one of the best example of American graphic novels imho. It’s about Fone Bone and his cousins who, after being driven out of Boneville by Phoney Bone’s money-grubbling stunts, have found themselves across a desert and in a strange, fantastical valley where nothing makes sense. The three of them get drawn into the strange mysteries and adventures of Thorn, her grandmother, and the village of Barrelhaven. Such a perfect blend of beautiful art, comedy and off-the-wall cartoon-level hijinks, as well as really intense, dark adventure and tension as the story unfolds.

Also created this sequence, which may be the funniest two panels ever drawn in a comic

Here Is Greenwood v1

A charming ‘90s manga from my stash that I decided to reread. Honestly one of my favourite feel-good mangas, because it’s such a simple, pure, good-hearted slice of life without some of the gimmicks that other manga use. It’s about Kazuya starting at an all-boys school partway into the year, and moving into the school’s dorms. The entire book is just about him being constantly pestered by the well-meaning characters that share the dorm with him. It’s just goofy and fun, and has the fantastic aesthetic of a good ‘90s manga. Also, it was one of those books that, while technically not ~queer~ was also ~queer enough~ for my deprived teenage soul.

Blood Of Elves

The fourth book of the Witcher series that I’ve finished. I’ll be honest, not my favourite. I really enjoyed the beginning, the whole espionage thing with Dandelion, and then Ciri with Geralt, the Kaer Morhen witchers, and Triss. That was all really fun. It felt like it dragged a lot more though after Ciri joined Yennefer... And yet I love Yennefer as a character, she is hilariously snide and clever and really sweet with Ciri. But it felt like a scene that could have been done in a couple chapters took up half the book. Maybe that’s just because, as I said, my brain was mush and I couldn’t deal with it. I have the next book and as soon as my brain doesn’t look like chicken noodle soup anymore I will be starting it!

The Mouse and the Motorcycle

You know I love a good animal adventure story, and this is one that I adored as a child. The story of Ralph, a young mouse living with his family in a rundown motel, and how he and a young human boy discover that they can understand each other through a shared passion for vehicles... in particular a red toy motorcycle. There’s just something heartwarming about Ralph racing around a motel on a tiny toy motorcycle that runs when he makes motorcycles noises. I’ll have to find the second one as soon as libraries are open again.

Kit: The Adventures of a Raccoon

Another animal adventure story from my childhood, although this one is more of a chapter book than a true novel. This is a book that I’ve been lowkey hunting for years and finally came across in a school library. It’s a more realistic look at what a raccoon’s life is like, from birth to adulthood. Rereading it, it’s not a particularly exciting book and wouldn’t have otherwise stood out to me, but there’s still something that calls to me. It’s very gentle and makes this raccoon’s growing and learning feel very soft and compassionate, even if there are tragedies and death.

A quick edit because it was only just now that I realized that this is a Canadian lit book! Always exciting to discover that a favourite is Canadian!

Calvin and Hobbes: Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat

Calvin and Hobbes, yet one more bullet to add to the list of Comfort Comics that I’ve pulled out to keep my mind entertained while I can’t quite process Proper Novels. I doubt there’s anything I can say about Calvin and Hobbes that hasn’t already been said. You’ve either read these books already, and are nodding along with me, or you haven’t and therefore are not a human being I can relate to.

Spy vs Spy

I dug out some of the old Spy vs Spy comics we had as kids. They’re basically falling to pieces, but it was fun -- like so many other books on this list -- to revisit something so familiar but which I haven’t looked at in years. These were a very odd experience to reread, because on one hand Spy vs Spy comics have such a simple, goofy premise it’s hard not to just grin and laugh while you read them, but also like... yup they sure are old and kinda ~problematique~ eh? Whatcha gonna do.

The Twisted Ones

The read aloud my brother and I did before Ghost Hunters, although we technically finished reading it at the very end of March, but too late for it to make that book roundup post. Look, I’m not going to defend myself here. Yes, I’ve read an obscene number of Five Nights at Freddy’s books. The first one of this series The Silver Eyes was honestly better than I would have expected. This sequel was not as good, unsurprisingly, but the main character is still so fucking bizarre, so different than the sort of protagonist I would normally expect from a series like this, that I can’t quite bring myself to stop reading them. And when I had a moment of Realization, about what might be in store for the third book, I genuinely screamed at my brother who was reading at the time. So yes. Somehow this youth horror is better than it has any right to be -- not good but better than it should be -- and yes I will be reading the third the second the libraries open again.

The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

Another reread! This was a book I got as a birthday present when I was in... probably preschool? It’s a cross between a large picture book and a chapter book. It’s essentially a “novelization” of the original Disney movie, and it has such cute art to go along with it. Winnie the Pooh has always been a favourite of mine, and reading this old book was like a warm hug. Makes me want to see if I can get my VCR set up so I can watch that old movie again...

Frog and Toad Together

A friend found someone reading this book in a very asmr-style on youtube and recommended I listen because they found it super chill. And they were right! It is ridiculously chill. I’ve never read a Frog and Toad story before, but it’s really just a very cute old book that immediately launches you right back into grade one.

The BFG

This is my first time reading the BFG and it has all of Dahl’s usual charm and quirkiness. A young girl gets plucked out of an abusive orphanage by the Big Friendly Giant, who brings her to the terrifying Land Of Giants... all of which are bigger and crueller than the BFG, and who have an appetite for human flesh. It was quick and fun, and it’s always hard not to fall in love with Dahl’s sweet characters, especially this big eared, dream-catching giant.

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relatablemormonmoments · 5 years ago

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October 2019 Saturday Session Notes

Morning

Jeffrey R. Holland

Anonymous women and men identify Christ as reason for clamor

Find Jesus at center of it all

Our faith can be overwhelming

Love of heavenly PARENTS

Recieve your sight, your faith has healed you

Skeptics and faithful still contend

Faith and service

Terrence M. Vinsen

Build the lord's temple instead of staying in our safe houses

Earneth wages to put in a bag with holes (oooo graphics)

Less wifi and more Nephi

We shouldn't let the gospel be an added extra or just go to church 2 hours on Sundays. Church is extended 6 more days a week

Fair Dinkum->being commited

If we think things will be easy we will lose

Parable of the Fat Lip and Broken Jaw -> resulted in giving our all

Giving our all =/= blessings and success, Giving our all=Happiness

When he falls he shall rise again

Never waivered in faith and goodness, but deeply hirt for a long time

Wound expanding over our hearts

Pain in heart = Pain in soul, If we go to God it can be taken away

What should I do ghat I may have eternal life, that I shall return to God?

Prepare to give up all we have

Consider your ways

I hope this guy becomes an apostle 😍😍😍

Stephen W. Owen

Cellphone intentions quickly become distractions

Missed scripture study and subsequently the blessing and spiritual healing that comes with it

24 gour news cycle = bad

We must learn to recieve revelation

Herd of deer trapped outside of habitat-could starve. Deer can't eat well meaning hay -> starve to death with stomachs full

Spiritual nourishment is not trending on social media

Pride of world causes us to abandon church

Motions of spirituality do not mean true conversion

We need to be faithful, not faithless

Home centered church helps us thrive in days of spiritual malnutrition

Master of distraction, author of procrastination = Satan

Children need more of your time, not less

Curriculum for meetings is being adjusted

Moved to new neighborhood at age 14-> feels like tragedy

Parents, let youth know they are not alone as they walk

Your influence might be the church support that that young person needs.

D. Todd Christoffersen

We can feel joy regardless of what is happening or what's not happening in our lives

Those who serve God and are chaste are more joyful than those who are only obedient

Recieving the gospel makes us feel like a free bird

Be of good cheer

Joy of returning to geaven

Bring light, relief, and happiness ro our brothers and sisters

Michelle Craig

How can I tell when God is trying to tell me something?

Be intentional about creating time and space to hear God's voice

Imagine what would happen if we were as intent in staying connected to heaven as we were to staying connected to wifi

Lord can use your ordinary skills to accomplish his extraordinary work

Dale G. Renlund

New but unwavering commitment to Jesus Christ

Unchanging fidelity to God

MY ARCHAEOLOGIST BRAIN ISNT HAPPY WITH THE IDEA OF THROWING THE ITEMS RELATED TO OUR OLD IDENTITIES AWAY AND COMPLETELY DESTROYING IT

Begin new life in Christ

Spiritual sneeze, faithful flu- doesnt work

Recieve Christ's image more fully.

Constant flow of Faith

"Isn't this the truth that we have heard"

Anchor yourself to the Savior

Oaks

No.

Afternoon

David A. Bednar

Yesss its my boy

Camoflauged cro odiles -> Satan vs. Youth (Packer)

Cheetahs, fastest accelerating mammals on earth

Cheetahs stalk Topies while working in tandem to hunt them.

Alternating pattern to dostract and decieve the Topies and keep them from knowing there was any danger

Older Topies watching give warning and Topies escape.

Cheetahs still pursue, restless.

Beware of evil's beguiling disguises

Restored Gospel light in our lives

Stay awake and be alert

Don't be complacent or careless

A cheetah is a predator, Satan is the enemy of Righteousness

PLAN OF HAPPINESS Provides direction and enduring joy to God's Children

Lucifer seeks to frustrate our progression via misusing our bodies

Powerful parables are obtained from our daily lives

Ruben V. Alliad

Jesus is the Lord of Lost Things, he loves Lost Things

200 copies of the book of mormon in one room

"And when ye shall recieve these things..."

Pray about book of mormon and you WILL know that its true

Found directly through power of BOM

Think hard and answer honestly, follow up on baptism promises

Diligently seek the BOM

Holy Ghost confirms our knowlege

Russell M. Nelson

Youth Battalion

(If any of you saw my previous post this talk is what tipped my Grandmother off about Hitler's Youth)

Quentin L. Cook

Smartphones = bad

Youth must be the focus of Bishops and other leaders

Youth have more personal responsibility at you bf er and younger ages now

Announcements do not limit bishoos responsibility over Young Women

Young Women leader is besf for meeting the needs of Young Women

YOUNG MEN PRESIDENCIES NO MORE

Ward youth council, mutual is retired

Mark L. Pace

God loves us

70 steel piles provide firm foundation

Increase faith in Jesus Christ and his Atonement

Adversaries increasing attacks on our faith

Come follow me a chance to bear testimony and learn differently

Consistent Effort throughout the week

Remodel home into center of Gospel Learning

Come follow me helpsnus establish foundation

L. Todd Budge

Peace and Joy when we surrender ourselves to God

Afflictions and Sorrow prepare us for joy -13th century poet

Afflictions are small

Life full of purpose and meaning

The lord will not allow us to suffer in darkness

How can we make it through the day without the Lord?

Questions and concerns -> Faith and Love

"I don't feel safe, but I am"

Wind never ceases to blow us towards the promised land

Didn't cease to praise the Lord

I really like this guy. He gives me peace and brings me joy

Jorge M. Aluardo

Some blessings come soon, late, or not until heaven, but they will come

Temple

Works at temple bless you with increased revelation and peace

Example of righteous parents

Strong familial chain link

Follow your own council (kid eating too much candy)

This man brings me joy

"Amazing Papa!"

Ronald A. Rasband

Grateful for the Lord's eternal companionship

Promises to improve

Promises to eachother increase promise to the Lord

Partnership with the Lord

The lord will be with you

Women's Session

Reyna J. Alberto

Black clouds which blind us and cause us to question God

When our minds are suffering, it is appropriate to seek help

Together we realize there is hope, and we do not have to suffer alone. Find resources about emotional illnesses!

Isolation thrives in secrecy and shrinks in empathy

When it comes to healing, we all need Him desperately

Nothing you have experienced will change the fact that you are God's child

Lisa L. Harkness

Living under Christ's name

Jesus is here for us

Do we honor the name of Christ

Bonnie H. Cordon

Sure knowlege of divine purpose and identity

NEW YW THEME ( I DIDNT CATCH THE WHOLE THING BUT): I am a beloved daughter of HEAVENLY PARENTS

Shift from we to I

Peace and Guidance will be yours

We need to have shelters and sanctuaries from life's storms

Be a light to those around you.

All classes are now unified under one name: Young Women

Every class should have a class presidency

Make the calling of leading class presidencies a priority

Revelation is real

We need the Wisdom, Council, and Energy in youth council

Henry B Eyring

Divine mission is to help lift the souls of others

We do not know the time or duration of our assignments

Preparation of a powerful loving heart

Minister to every stranger as a neighbor and a friend

We must be a mother in some way

Mold living clay to your hopes in tandem with God

God loves you

Oaks

NO!!! (Homophobic version)

Russell M. Nelson

He is now the church grandpa

Access to all spiritual treasures for Lord's children

How do we draw the savior's power in our life? Holy Ghost will prompt you

Bad men are not allowed- men must drink respect women juice

RESPECT WOMEN JUICE!!

Misogyny bad

Women are society's guardians, wonderful, magnificent

Covenants = Priesthood power for women

I LOVE MY NEW GRANDPA

Encouraged to participate in ward councils

166 temples and more to come (TEMPLES ANNOUNCED IN WOMEN'S SESS? THIS IS A FIRST)

8 new temples -> sierra leone, utah x2 , arkansas, philippines, texas, guatemala, utah

Strengthen your faith in the Lord.

#mormon #mormon teen #lds #lds conference #lds general conference #lds church #ldsconf #lds convert

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ingek73 · 4 years ago

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08-06-206:00 PM POV

Prince Harry: Social media is dividing us. Together, we can redesign it

Amid a crisis of health, hate, and truth online, companies need to take a stand for a more compassionate digital world, writes Prince Harry, the Duke of Sussex.

Prince Harry: Social media is dividing us. Together, we can redesign it

[Photos: Max Mumby/Indigo/Getty Images; Pixabay/Pexels]

BY PRINCE HARRY THE DUKE OF SUSSEX

7 MINUTE READ

A little over four weeks ago, my wife and I started calling business leaders, heads of major corporations, and chief marketing officers at brands and organisations we all use in our daily lives.

Our message was clear: The digital landscape is unwell and companies like yours have the chance to reconsider your role in funding and supporting online platforms that have contributed to, stoked, and created the conditions for a crisis of hate, a crisis of health, and a crisis of truth.

We did this at the same time as the launch of a civil rights and racial justice campaign called Stop Hate For Profit, which sought to change online policies around hate speech—in this case, policies at Facebook—by urging companies that regularly purchase digital ads on the platform to withhold their advertising spending for the month of July. As of the end of last month, the campaign (led by respected organisations like the Anti-Defamation League, Color of Change, and the NAACP) sent a $7 billion message through withheld ad dollars.

Some may ask why a change campaign would take aim at online advertising. Well, many of us love and enjoy social media. It’s a seemingly free resource for connecting, sharing, and organising. But it’s not actually free; the cost is high. Every time you click they learn more about you. Our information, private data, and unknown habits are traded on for advertising space and dollars. The price we’re all paying is much higher than it appears. Whereas normally we’re the consumer buying a product, in this ever-changing digital world, we are the product.

While companies made their own decisions about what to do in July, we felt it necessary to say our part about the rise of an unchecked and divisive attention economy. We’ve always believed that individuals and communities thrive when the frameworks around them are built from compassion, trust, and wellbeing. Sadly, this belief is at odds with much of what is being experienced by people on social media.

From conversations with experts in this space, we believe we have to remodel the architecture of our online community in a way defined more by compassion than hate; by truth instead of misinformation; by equity and inclusiveness instead of injustice and fearmongering; by free, rather than weaponised, speech. This remodeling must include industry leaders from all areas drawing a line in the sand against unacceptable online practices as well as being active participants in the process of establishing new standards for our online world. Companies that purchase online ads must also recognise that our digital world has an impact on the physical world—on our collective health, on our democracies, on the ways we think and interact with each other, on how we process and trust information. Because, if we are susceptible to the coercive forces in digital spaces, then we have to ask ourselves—what does this mean for our children? As a father, this is especially concerning to me.

In the 1970s, there was a groundbreaking study on the societal effects of lead exposure and kids. The research found a clear connection between lead accumulation in children and their mental development. There’s no debate over the dangers of lead today, but at the time, the development was met with strong resistance from industry leaders (lead was used widespread in products like gas, house paint, and water pipes). Eventually, sweeping health and environmental reforms were put in place to change this. We knew something was harmful to the health of our children, so we made the necessary changes to keep them safe, healthy, and well.

Researchers I’ve spoken with are studying how social media affects people—particularly young people—and I believe the book of data that we will look back on one day will be incredibly troubling.

WHEN WE DO THE RIGHT THING, WHEN WE CREATE SAFE SPACES BOTH ONLINE AND OFF—EVERYONE WINS.

Around the world, for many reasons, we are at turning point—one that has the potential to be transformative. In all areas of life, a rebuilding of compassionate, trustworthy communities needs to be at the heart of where we go. And this approach must extend to the digital community, which billions of us participate in every day. But it shouldn’t be punitive. When we do the right thing, when we create safe spaces both online and off—everyone wins. Even the platforms themselves.

Meghan and I heard similar arguments made by humane tech leaders we convened at Stanford University earlier this year, by internet law experts, by neuroscientists, and most importantly by young people who have grown up in a fully connected world.

We have an opportunity to do better and remake the digital world, to look at the past and use it to inform the future. We must take a critical eye to the last two decades, where advancements in technology and media have outgrown many of the antiquated guardrails that once ensured they were being designed and used appropriately. It shouldn’t be seen as a coincidence that the rise of social media has been matched by a rise in division amongst us globally. Social media’s own algorithms and recommendation tools can drive people down paths towards radicalism and extremism that they might not have taken otherwise.

There are billions of people right now—in the midst of a global pandemic that has taken hundreds of thousands of lives—who rely on algorithmically-driven information feeds to make judgments about fact vs. fiction, about truth vs. lies. One could argue that access to accurate information is more important now than any other time in modern history. And yet, the very places that allow disinformation to spread seem to throw their arms up when asked to take responsibility and find solutions.

We all need a better online experience. We’ve spoken with leaders across the racial justice movement, experts in humane tech, and advocates of mental health. And the collective opinion is abundantly clear: We do not have the luxury of time.

We need meaningful digital reform, and while the role of policymakers and regulators is important, we can’t just wait for them to take the next steps. This is a moment for companies around the world—companies with business and advertising models directly tied to digital platforms—to consider how they can bring about reform to ensure the betterment of all.

WE HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO DO BETTER AND REMAKE THE DIGITAL WORLD, TO LOOK AT THE PAST AND USE IT TO INFORM THE FUTURE.

It was reported recently that, for the first time, spending on digital advertising is set to eclipse ad spending in traditional media. Think about what this means. The standards and practices advertisers rely upon when placing their commercials on television, for example, do not apply when it comes to the online space—arguably, the largest broadcaster in the world. And for the first time in history, the ad spend in this relatively lawless space is beginning to overshadow the more traditional spaces. No manufacturer is likely placing their television soap ad next to this type of toxicity, yet due to the nature of the digital world, that advertisement could be sandwiched between inciting propaganda.

So there is huge value in advertisers sitting at the table with advocacy leaders, with policy leaders, with civil society leaders, in search of solutions that strengthen the digital community while protecting its free and open nature.

For companies that purchase online ads, it is one thing to unequivocally disavow hate and racism, white nationalism and anti-Semitism, dangerous misinformation, and a well-established online culture that promotes violence and bigotry. It is another thing for them to use their leverage, including through their advertising dollars, to demand change from the very places that give a safe haven and vehicle of propagation to hate and division. We’re hopeful to see this approach amongst industry leaders become reality. For one, the industry group GARM—the Global Alliance for Responsible Media—has committed to evaluating standards and definitions around online hate speech.

But this is just the beginning. And our hope is that it’s the beginning of a movement where we, as people, place community and connection, tolerance and empathy, and joy and kindness above all. The internet has enabled us to be joined together. We are now plugged into a vast nervous system that, yes, reflects our good, but too often also magnifies and fuels our bad. We can—and must—encourage these platforms to redesign themselves in a more responsible and compassionate way. The world will feel it, and we will all benefit from it.

Prince Harry is the Duke of Sussex

#royals #prince harry #duke of sussex #fast company #social media

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mrs-spindelle · 5 years ago

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Never Work at Victoria’s Secret

Since I’m quitting Victoria’s Secret and have found a new job, let me give you girls some wonderful insight on the pile of dog shit company all us ladies have to shop at to hold our breasts in place.

Shopping there and working there are two totally different experiences, and let me tell you why you should never work in Hell- I mean VS.

1. As a customer, you are allowed to steal. Yes, that’s right! You ladies are allowed to take whatever you want if you can get the sensor off. We employees are NEVER allowed to ask for a receipt, accuse you of theft (even as we stand there and watch you rip the tags off), OR call security! That’s right, we would never accuse our beautiful honest angels of something as horrible as shoplifting. Just don’t take more than $1,000 in merchandise to avoid it being a reportable crime, don’t get caught by mall security and you ladies will have yourselves all the panties and bras you want. Oh, we’re also not allowed to go after you. I was once required to remove a sensor from a bra for a lady because she claimed ‘she bought it and we forgot to remove the sensor’ even though we ALL watched her rip it off a hanger. But by company policy, I cannot accuse her of theft or ask for her receipt. So she got a free bra. If you ever think you’re going to be caught, just accuse us employees of racism and threaten to call HR. We’ll back off. The company is terrified of a lawsuit.

2. You as an employee are punished far more harshly than a customer EVER will be. If they so much as think you’re stealing, your hours are cut, and you are the one who is watched on camera - not the group of girls who just walked out of the front door of PINK with $600 worth of leggings.

3. I don’t have proof, but I’m pretty sure many of their cameras do not work. They say the cameras are everywhere and can spin and zoom to see text so small like on an ID, but its a hoax. If they can’t even catch a thief who looks right into the camera, they won’t catch anything period. They couldn’t even catch the man who stole like, $20,000 worth of panties lmao.

4. You are required to be a customer’s punching bag. Dealing with drunken men at a bar is a blessing compared to working for the middle-low class entitled women of society. Victoria’s Secret has created an atmosphere that makes every woman feel special and sexy, but for a lot of women, it gives them a sense of power they don’t actually have, and they abuse that power by abusing the very employees helping them to find a piece of clothing to hold their tits in. I have been mocked for my thin body, tall height, small breasts and pale skin color. I have been called racist, told to get breast implants, or that I was mentally incapable of helping women with bigger breasts find what they need simply because I had B cups. I never once had an issue with a man while I worked there, but I lost count with how many fellow women abused me there. You would be surprised to see how little support you get, because we cannot verbally defend ourselves or others. The customer is always right, even when they are outright degrading you like an animal.

5. No one gives a shit about that panty drawer filled with 150+ thongs you just neatly folded. No one. Walk away from it for 30 seconds and come back, I fucking dare you.

6. You don’t get to go home until all panties on top are folded in order. Gotta fold until 12 at night? Guess what, you’re gonna be folding until 12 at night.

7. Closing late but need to be back in the morning for a 5am floorset? Yeah, you’ll be scheduled to close until 10pm or 11pm and HAVE to come back at 5am. No ifs ands or buts.

8. Every company sets aside money to compensate for theft, but Victoria’s Secret has so much theft due to their shit policy that they raise prices. And you honest hard working women have to pay more so thieves can continue doing what they like. Example. Panties are typically 1 cent to make, and are $10.50 a piece. The lingerie panties are $16.50, and their newest lingerie panty is now $40+ A PIECE. They are made the same way as a $16.50 panty, but tripled in price. And you’re a sucker for buying it. I own one since I got one for free, and guess what? Its shit. Don’t put it in the dryer. Ever.

9. Ever wanted to clean up vaginal discharge and period blood? This is the job for you!

10. If you don’t ask for a break, you will not receive a break.

11. You cannot remind a customer that you’re closing in 5 minutes. They’re allowed to destroy the entire store, unfold everything, go in the fitting rooms for as long as they like, and fuck around until THEY choose to leave. The gates are NOT to be closed, not even half way, until that customer leaves - which makes opportunity for late night shoplifters to come in and loot while you’re busy trying to refold what that customer had just destroyed, so you can go home on time. But now, not only do you have to clean, you also will be staying late to file a long ass report about the theft - which Victoria’s Secret will do absolutely nothing about.

12. Pregnant? Guess what, nobody gives a shit. Reach down at the bottom drawer to shop for a woman who is too lazy to kneel down herself and grab her XL granny panty. Your baby is an inconvenience to certain entitled women.

13. Got this job to avoid baby sitting? Well you’re going to baby sit, and watch as women drag their screaming children into the store meant for adults that’s filled with inappropriate lingerie and open-assed panties with lewd pictures of half-naked women all over the walls. Also get ready to pick up after other people’s children who drop their drinks, food, toys, and destroy store property by playing on shelves, ripping off manniquin arms, chewing on panties (and stealing them, I caught one child stuffing panties into their Else purses), and throwing the biggest demonic hissy fits when they don’t get their way. Think the parents will stoop to OUR level and clean up after their own kids? LOL they’ll go “Sorry” and walk away. You’ll be lucky if they even say sorry. You know they aren’t.

14. You will understand why 50% of marriages end in divorce simply watching how wives boss around their husbands to show off in the store. This goes back to the power the store gives women. When women enter these gates, their true selves show, because the sense of false power makes them act like the bitches that they truly are. I will say that not every woman is like this, but an alarming amount are.

15. The girls who buy boy shorts are the most condescending and judgmental of women - deeming those who wear thongs are sluts, whores and loose and are beneath them. Yet they buy boy shorts with ‘Yummy’ written on the ass. Hmmmmm...

16. If you find a co-worker who is real and takes time out of their day to help train you, stick with them. 9 times out of 10, you won’t get the benefit of training. You’ll be thrown into the chaos like I was and be expected to perform well. Its up to your fellow co-workers to help you. If some help you. Hopefully they’ll help you. I had only 1 help me, and that was during Black Friday.

17. Starting drama is forbidden. Unless you’re a favorite. Then you’re free to shit talk all you want.

18. Women are destructive little shits. They will rip apart anything nice and toss shit around.

19. You are not allowed to carry any weapons on you for protection. You will be terminated for doing so.

20. Despite not being allowed to carry a firearm, policy has made it clear that in the event of a shooting, you must hide. In the event that the shooter FINDS you, you are encouraged to FIGHT BACK. . . With - what exactly? If you’re not allowed to carry protection on you, yet a man with a gun is shooting at you and killing people, then how in the fucking fuck are you supposed to fight back? You are practically set up to die in the worst case scenario. But consider the alarming rate of shootings today. Public shootings are becoming more and more common, its a horrendous tragedy. And we are faced with either being fired, or being fired at.

Your choice.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Now I will say...not everything about it was bad. There were times where I had fun, I miss those times. I had a good handful of nice customers who made my job easier, and a few I could relate to. I suppose the issue is with the company. If the company had a different way of running things, then maybe the women would have a different mindset when walking into the store and treat their fellow women better. Who knows...

#vs #victorias #secret #victoriassecret #hell on earth #rant #my experience #retail #i hate retail

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famous-aces · 5 years ago

Text

Alfredo Guttero

Who: Alfredo Guttero

What: Artist and Art Promoter

Where: Argentinian (active in Argentina and throughout Western Europe)

When: May 26, 1882 - December 1, 1932

(Image Description: Retrato del pintor, Victorica, 1929 [a self portrait]. It shows Guttero in his apartment. Outside is a very geometric skyline of smokestacks, steep roofs, and a brown sky. His room is slate colored and he sits in a chair in the foreground. He has a jacket thrown over the back of his chair. His pose is casual and he looks as if we [the viewer] have just distracted him from painting. He sits with his legs to one side, turned almost unnaturally toward the viewer. One leg is lifted slightly and one hand is on the chair's seat as if he is in the middle of turning completely to the viewer. He is a man with a receding hairline and a high forehead. He has a dark mustache and dark hair and low eyebrows. He is wearing a white shirt and bowtie and has his sleeves rolled up to the elbow and his collar is ruffled and loosened. The whole thing hangs very loose but you can still see some of his body's lines of musculature. His tie undone and hanging around his neck. His pants are ordinary and green/brown. His expression is calm but confident and he looks directly at the viewer. The colors are bold but not really bright. The style blends geometry and flatness and realism in a way I am explaining very poorly. End ID)

Guttero is not terribly well remembered today, which is too bad. Looking through his oeuvre I quite like his work. Maybe it is because he lacked the bombastic personality of many modernist artists, maybe it is due to his diversity of styles without one that seems to define his work, or maybe it is because he was one of so many talented artists of his generation. He was well renown in his era, however, and used his popularity and skill to foster the next generation of Argentinian artists.

Guttero's life began mundanely enough. He always loved art, appreciating it and creating it, but pursued a legal career instead. But he was unhappy with his life as a lawyer, so Guttero left it to become a painter. He pursued his dream and passion, inspired and pushed by other Argentine artists. In 1904 his reputation was good enough that the Argentinian government sponsored his move to Paris, then the epicenter of the truly exciting and revolutionary art world, its influence expanding outward. He studied there for a few years under Maurice Denis before appearing in the Salon.

He remained in Paris until 1916 when he began to travel extensively across Western Europe for more than a decade, first to Spain, then Germany, Austria, and beyond. He traveled to nearly every country in the area between the years of 1916 and 1927. His work was shown in various exhibitions around the continent from being featured in the Salon in Paris to a major solo exhibition in Genoa.

After that he returned to Argentina for the first time since his initial departure in 1904. Guttero remained active in his native country including creating free art classes called, aptly enough, Cursos Libres de Arte Plástico, with other Argentine artists. During this time he focused on his work as an art promotor, perhaps even more than his own art. During this time he introduced and showed new Argentinian artists to a wider audience. Indeed he created an organization for this purpose: the Hall of Modern Painters. He was dedicated to promoting and preserving modern art in the face of a world growing increasingly dark and reactionary. He died young and without much warning.

His art is undeniably modernist but trickier to pin to a specific movement. He has many different styles he utilizes with different degrees of naturalism and curves vs geometry. His scenes are by and large mundane and human, he uses bright colors, often huge central subjects, kinetic poses and positions, modern settings, and by and large human or urban subjects. He often painted on plaster using a "cooked plaster" technique of his own devising.

(Image Description: Martigues for Charles Jacques [1909], a brightly colored painting showing a scene in a Martigues canal. It is not completely realistic nor completely geometric and abstract. He favors color over outlines. In the background is a bright blue sky interrupted by yellow buildings with tile roofs, maybe houses, lit by the unseen sun. One of the building's lower doors is open. There is a small tree to the far right. In the foreground in the sparkling water of the canal are several small work boats, probably fishing boats judging by the silvery nets lying over the hulls. On the right a boat is coming in, there is a pale skinned, dark haired man working on one of the nets. His sail is red and white. On the left is a pale man in an orange hat and yellow shirt. He is stooped and just by his pose appears older, both of the men are too far away for many identifying details. End ID)

Possible Orientation: Mspec ace, gay ace, or aroace with an aesthetic attraction to multiple genders. (I am so unsure I have changed "probable" to "possible.")

I admit this one is a stretch on my part.

I am classifying Guttero based largely on absence, i.e. the absence of a remembered/recorded spouse, sexual/romantic partner, or liasian. I have no quotes or historical documents to prove my point. I have none of his personal philosophy or writings to draw from. Just the fact that he dedicated his life to art more than human relationshipa. That this is something I have seen before: Cause and its role in the life of many aros/aces/aroaces (outlined in Weil's entry the other day) and the fact that he had no recorded romantic/sexual partners that I can find in hours of research.

This illustrates why it is so, so difficult to find aspecs in history. We are not, as aphobes believe, impossible to locate, there is externally visible evidence, but it is less obvious than most other orientations. And cishets would rather we didn't exist so we are often buried under excuses. The easiest ways to find them are 1) if they were notably "married to their job" in their lifetimes (e.g. Jeanette Rankin and Carter Woodson), they talked/wrote about it in some capacity (e.g. T.E. Lawrence or Frédéric Chopin), they were distrusted because of it (John Ruskin and James Barrie), they made it part of their persona (Nikola Tesla and Florence Nightingale), aside from that I really need to search deep into their personal lives. Information not always available.

And often even when people essentially say "I am aromantic and/or asexual" the general population will not accept that. After all Newton is often remembered as allo and gay, despite never expressing interest in men. Chopin is often listed as allo and bi. Rankin is often considered cishet but too deeply concerned with her work. Barrie gets called a pedophile despite showing no interest in children. For eccentric aspecs like Weil/Tesla/etc. their being aspec becomes part of their oddness. If they weren't Like That they would be allo. Their being aspec becomes a symptom of their weirdness and would be unacceptable in a "normal" person.

History with a capital H does not want to acknowledge aspecs and, as with other queer identities, will go to insane measures to erase them. But even other queer historians will do this to aspecs. I am shocked how many people do exactly to Newton/Lewis/and the like what cishet historians do to Alexander the Great. In the case of Alexander the cishets ignore the obvious accounts that he loved Hephestian in nearly every way possible and queer historians and history buffs call them out, then often the non-aspec ones look at Newton and Lewis who had no interest in men and say they must have been gay. And it isn't really just history, Tim Gunn is by his own admission both gay and ace and the second part of that statement is either erased or, even crazier, I have seen aphobes say that he is mistaken about his own identity.

Anyway the root cause of this lack of nuance in the discussion of sexual orientation is a long sidebar that this is not the place to explore. I have left Guttero behind paragraphs ago. I have written a lot about how aces and aros end up getting erased from history and this isn't about that.

This is about Guttero and the difficulty of finding aros and aces. The presence of something is so much easier to find than the alternative, obviously, like if Historical Figure X exclusively slept with/courted men and was a man we can say he was (most likely) gay. But if Historical Figure Y didn't sleep with anyone/court anyone it is harder to prove. This is obviously severely simplifying identity but for the purposes of this example I beg your apology.

Long Story Short: the absence of evidence of something is not proof of the absence of something. A lot of aphobes will point this out and utterly ignore the fact that sometimes it is.

So, Guttero. The only thing I can say conclusively is that he never married and he was romantically or sexually tied to anyone as far as I can find. He was, in his time, very active in the art world. If he had been involved someone would probably have taken note. Especially considering his art is often very appreciative of the human form, especially the male one, it would not be hard to believe he was allo and gay or mspec.

I am going to take his art another way putting some dusty analysis/critique/art history skills to good use. Here's the thing, those who follow me on my personal blog or even here know I find the Death of the Author extremely important but it is also extremely complicated (it was actually the topic of my senior thesis). I don't want to use an artist's work to talk about their personal lives because art is often not reflective of life, but there is always some cross contamination in one way or another. I am going to explain what I mean on a superficial level, using myself as an example so I can say this is 100% accurate. I love the found family trope, and I think those relationships are the best in the world. So whenever I write something you can be damned sure if I can get some found family goodness in there I will. What I am saying is, I don't love or even approve of everything I write about, but I do write about some things because I love them and want to explore them and experience them on some level. The same may be true for Guttero and the subjects he painted.

Guttero often pays a lot of attention to human form. Look at his work The Market (I couldn't find a large enough image to put it in this post) and you will see his appreciation for amab musculature and on the other side of the male spectrum...

(image description: Retrato de Lucien Cavarry [1911] It shows a thin, lanky, and well dressed young man reclining on a green floral patterned couch and a black pillow. He is pale with neat, dark hair. He has a shadow of 5 o'clock shadow on his super hero jaw. His suit is white, his slightly rumpled tie is black, as are his socks and polished shoes. One arm is across the back of the couch and a red and gold pillow the other is dangling. This style is very different from the other portraits I showed/referenced. Still a modern but more realistic style, more flowing, less geometric. The man is drop dead gorgeous by Western beauty standards. End ID)

As for women...he seems to find them colder, more distant, but there is still a physical appreciation there. (Linking Mujeres Indolentes so I don't get flagged for "female presenting nipples" or whatever Tumblr's BS is. [The name alone tells you a lot]). Or the somewhat judgemental gaze of the woman below:

(Image Description: Georgelina. It shows a portrait of a pretty young woman sitting in front of a field. She is pale and long and beautiful. She has red hair, sharp eyes, a long flowing white dress with a gold sash around her waist, and a white hat with a black bow that is blowing in the wind. She takes up most of the frame and her expression is challenging and she holds eye contact with the viewer. The colors are bright and she is almost porciline in color. The background is mostly flat planes of color. In style it is somewhere between the self portrait and the portrait of Cavarry. End ID.)

Not all of his portraits of women have them so sour/distant but they all have a sort of challenging look. Beauty tinged with something dangerous, while the men always seem more innocent.

So here is why I say aspec rather than allo using his work alone, none of his work is particularly sexually inviting even with the sexiness/physical European attractiveness. The men are bashful or unaware of the viewer, the women are certainly not interested.

And back to the self portrait at the top: Guttero is in a fairly sexy pose, but it is sexy without being sexual. He is rumpled but the thing he was doing was painting, there is a sexless explanation. He is looking at the viewer, but you are distracting him from working. At first glance I thought his legs were spread, but they are simply in motion so he can face his guest more comfortably. This all could mean nothing, but I found it striking that this is how he chose to depict himself, at first he appears to be inviting the viewer in for a more physical interaction, but then it seems he is doing exactly the opposite, his passionate energy has been instead put into painting.

And in reality toward the end of his life that was what he did. He dedicated himself to his own art and the art of others.

So again, this could mean nothing. But...it could mean he is aspec.

And that is how the person I am least sure about got the longest entry.

(image description: Elevadores [1928]. A painting showing a factory complex. There is a raised platform running around it and several buildings in bright colors. There is a tree to the right side and a green hill. The building in the near-center [lightly left] is red. The sky is yellow and blue, perhaps the unseen sun is rising up behind the right-hand buildings. In style it is mostly geometric and flat color. End ID.)

#queer #lgbtq #asexual #ace #history #aromantic #aro #gay #mspec #20th century #artists #south america #Argentina #Argentinian #Alfredo Guttero

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ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is · 5 years ago

Note

1. I am an INTP 5w6 female and I want to know how to meet new people, it didn't bother me before but I had a boyfriend.of 1.5years and I now miss having someone in my life, don't remember exactly what I wrote but I thought I had made a good choice and was really hopeful about that relationship and I tried hard to make it work but I couldn't deal with his bs anymore, I did for a while cause I thought he was worth it, I've been trying to build deeper relationships but didn't care before so imbehnd

2. My ex wasn't extremely manipulative but he lied and hid things from me and got angry when I complained when his stories made no sense, I left We knew each other for so long and I couldn't deal with him not apologizing for his bs and blaming me for what he was doing, I just couldn't justify the relationship even if I still loved him This lead me to believe my strategy was wrong since I thought I knew him and that he was more mature than that, no matter how high the filter this could happen..

3. It's just so disappointing, you know? That people can be such assholes after managing to present themselves as the opposite of that for so long I've never really had close friendships except for my ex, and a few friends (I guess?) I didn't care much for this before since I'm alright on my own, but I found that I really liked having someone, so I'm trying to meet new people now that I'm more or less healing, but idk how to do it, acquaintances used to fall in my lap before but not anymore

4. I'm 23 yo, about to get my degree. I do have a crush on a classmate but when I try to picture us going out it feels awkward and weird since I don't know him very well, I need to know people well before considering dating... I'm just very lost and I feel kind of behind from everyone else since I'm super inexperienced (only that one bf, and it was long distance...) and idk how to correct that at this point. I've been dressing better so people treat me better (haven't noticed, makes sense tho)

5. People do seem to like me well enough but I guess everyone already has their group of friends and is too busy to invite me places often enough that I become part of the core group, but I'm getting there, a bit (I think) I've been going everywhere I've been invited with my classmates lately but they don't really bring anyone new, I've managed to be a step up from acquaintance with a girl friend, which is nice, with older friends the same thing happens, even if we come across their friends...

6. I've always had a hard time fitting in very well, romantically I'd love to have someone at a similar experience level because I feel like I missed out on being a crucial relationship for the other person, but my ex had several gfs before and I didn't care too much then but now I do because afterwards certain things made me feel bad, but I guess I could manage anyway.I also get paranoid when I read what other bs some people manage to do like marrying someone but loving their bestfriend instead

7. I apologize for making it so long but I thought it'd be necessary to give a bit of info on myself and my thoughts, my age, what I've been trying etc I just wanna meet good people at this point in my life and want some tips on how to do that without taking extremely long only for them to be assholes anyways... I think I've managed to make some more acquaintances but I've only clicked with two girls I talk to outside of the classroom when we're not hanging out, gonna focus on them rn-----------------------

(very long response ahead)

I know this is not what you asked nor is it necessarily going to be helpful or relevant but: I would strongly rethink your type. Ti-doms and 5s are both vanishingly unlikely to drop seven asks worth of highly personal and emotionally open information in the inboxes of total strangers.

With regards to the actual question, this is really not an MBTI question (more on this at the end) and not entirely something I’d consider myself an expert on. I very much hope I am not the only person you can go to on this because I personally wouldn’t want me to be my only source of advice on this. With those caveats, see below.

I think Tumblr (and to be fair some forms of media) portray friendships and relationships as an attraction at first sight/immediate connection.

This is fucking stupid.

Because I tie everything back to my personal soapbox causes: this is why I have such disdain for the anti-small talk crowd, or people who think they’re special because they crave a deep, below-the-surface human connection. Nearly everyone wants deep connection. It’s normal and healthy. It’s also an ongoing process that nearly always involves some period of time during which you and the other potential friend are awkward acquaintances who don’t entirely understand each other and have to talk about surface-level things. You can’t speedrun intimacy.

This is particularly true in adulthood. Children do make friends more quickly, but also children are weird and fickle and a friendship can be based on little more than sharing crayons (not to knock that, plenty of great friendships started that way) while adults have a much better sense of who they are and also typically a much more narrow definition of who they want as a friend and all kinds of emotional baggage to boot.

Essentially, if you want a friendship that matches the depth of a relationship of 1.5 years it’s probably going to take close to 1.5 years to get there, and from what you said you’d known each other even longer before the romantic relationship, so add that time too. Which might not be what you want to hear, but it’s important to manage the expectation. Basically all relationships (and by this I mean romantic or platonic) start out with little connection, and you become friends through building that connection, and you can’t really rush it.

I believe in “clicking” in the sense of there being an immediate mutual interest in getting to know each other better, but speaking practically, regardless of the initial chemistry you are still basically intrigued strangers at that point. All clicking does is provide additional motivation for that process of getting to know each other. And speaking from experience, deep friendships in the long term don’t always have an initial “click”. I’ve had relationships that were initially quite intense fade away, and others slowly grow from acquaintanceship into lasting intimate friendship even if we didn’t expect it on first meeting. The myth of clicking is confirmation bias - unless there was a serious fallout, you’ll probably forget the people who you thought you clicked with if it didn’t just work out, and conversely it’s not hard to look back through the lenses of memory and nostalgia and find a single moment when a friendship or love crystalized, even though the reality is that it was merely the tipping point after considerable energy had already been invested on both sides.

In terms of practical advice, finishing up a degree is a uniquely awkward time, especially if all your classmates are in the same boat, because there’s often a mentality of “we’re all going to leave soon, let’s stick with the friendships we have.” Others in your class may not have that motivation to make a close connection, and it sucks but it’s temporary. The good news is that the larger world doesn’t feel that way. It is a bit more difficult to make friends as an adult, just because you’re not spending time with people naturally the same way as you do in school, but meetups and clubs and social organizations all exist for this reason and are explicitly there for people who want to make friends. And again, it’s going to be a slow process. I respect that it’s frustrating having to start from what feels like square one, but it’s unavoidable.

As for dating, you don’t need to do apps if you don’t want to! But you’re right. It’s going to be comparatively inefficient. Particularly if you prefer to date people you already know socially, you’ll have to put in a lot of effort going to social things and building those acquaintanceships over time and you might need to ask someone out face to face. Inexperience is fine. Everyone has to start somewhere. The tradeoff is more that you can’t screen people as well if you’re on apps, and they can be kind of impersonal but you do get to interact with many people quickly on your own terms without having to go outside and with the luxury of being able to think up witty comebacks instead of having to chat in real time.

(I do want to counter the idea that people who use apps are any less deep or anything like that. Some people are comfortable with casual hookups and some aren’t, but many people use apps to set up a date first and see if they have enough of an interest to keep things going. As with all of the above, everything has to start somewhere and if you think of the app as a way to facilitate meeting people, rather than “I must make a romantic connection with this person tonight”, and steer towards dating vs. hookup apps/make it clear you’re looking for long-term relationships, you might have more luck. The point of the first date for most people isn’t to find a partner, though sometimes that happens; it’s to find someone you enjoy enough to go on a second date with and slowly get to know).

One final thought: all this advice applies universally but I actually think considering it in the context of MBTI is more harmful than helpful, or at best misleading. For example, you say that being a 5 you take too long to check if people are safe, which whether or not you actually are a 5 also has absolutely nothing to do with being a 5, and even if you are a 5 and this is a 5 thing, you’re aware of this behavior! You can stop doing that then! MBTI is not destiny!

Regardless of type, no one automatically knows what to say in every situation, no one can read minds, and no one has discovered the secret to always being liked and never being rejected. Type can convey talent or inclination but skill requires time. Extroverts are often better with people because they have to be - they aren’t as okay with just being alone, especially when younger, so they go out and deal with people and through that process learn to make friends. But they weren’t born with it. Sites that favor introverts and/or intuitives are terrible for a lot of reasons but I find they perpetuate the ideas I disagreed with above, that friendships for introverts and intuitives must always be with people who Click and Already Get It. This is wrong and it’s limiting. Obviously don’t pursue a friendship or relationship if you don’t like the person, but don’t write someone off just because you didn’t feel a magical spark right away. That’s not being deep and sensitive - that’s being closed off to new experiences. Anything worth doing involves real-world effort and some amount of risk, and usually it involves patience and time and awkwardness and uncertainty as well.

#mbti #enneagram #long post #aegeanfractal #answered asks

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