#grumpy old manchild

[satorudoll]

Gojo saying he hates taking care of brats and then becoming the best dad ever 🤫

💌! anon, you have NO IDEA what that panel of jjk going around was doing to me. Toru literally my cutest hubby ^^

You still remember meeting the grumpy and dork of a seventeen year old manchild when you entered the Jujutsu high's hallways for the very first time.

Your most core memories of him being the ones where he used to accompany you to your part time jobs, to babysit little kids.

While the three year old would be building blocks on the ground in front of you both, Satoru thinking of himself as the sly one would try scooting closer to your side on the couch. Softly grazing your hand and closing his one over it as he'd lean in to whisper something along the lines of,

"Baby, I think this is an amazing time to makeout before this utter nuisance turns his head arou—"

His words being cut off short with the ripping cries of the three year old who'd start to kick his feet and throw all his blocks around in pure anger.

Satoru would heave the loudest sigh,

"Baby please I just need a quick peck plea–"

But you would immediately stand up in panic and lift the child up in your arms, completely falling deaf to your touch deprived boyfriend.

"Satoru I think the baby pooped! " You exclaimed, turning the little boy left and right in the air.

"ew— EW! " Your boyfriend's second signal of disgust getting louder at what you did next, as quick as Satoru was to scrunch his face in disgust, you too were as fast to shove the three year old sobbing boy in your boyfriend's face. Forcing him to hold the baby.

"Hold him tight! I'll be right back with some new nappies and wipes! "

You stormed off, not caring about the way your boyfriend was screaming in pure horror along with the sobbing baby.

"Stop—" He tried to push the baby as far away from his nose as possible, "Stop! I'll actually die if your nasty stuff gets a anywhere on my skin! " He is yelling in pure fear, as if the kid was understanding whatever he was saying.

"Oh my holy lord, Y/n, please get here fast. I don't think I have too much time left! " He is crying out for you as the baby's face gets redder, cheeks puffier and his tiny legs kicking madly in the air the longer he stares at the snowy haired guy's disgusted face. Satoru was shriveling in pure terror by every passing second.

As soon as you enter the room with all the necessary materials Satoru dramatically gasped in relief, as if he just saw Jesus himself walk in to save him from his death.

He watches you and the baby from the couch with his big blue eyes stretched wide in disgust as you are in the process of cleaning the little one up.

"They better pay you a good chunk for that" He continues to comment while continuing to curl himself up in a ball .

You roll your eyes and turn to face Satoru who looked like he was in a Lion's den.

"Why don't to try putting his diaper on? " You ask, holding up the new pair of diaper.

"No! What if that demon has some poop left sticking around his butt! "

You sigh loud, "Toru, I cleaned him well. He is fine."

"But–" He stops, seeing the way your eyes were literally judging him at this point,

"Ugh– fine! But don't cry for me when I get his poop on my hand and die on spot! "

He walks towards you both, stomping and looking all moody and pouty in annoyance. Slumping down and snatching the new diaper from your hand while mumbling a "only coz I love you too much" while still looking annoyed as hell, but you couldn't help the small smile that slips on your face while looking at how he acts no different than the three year old right in front of you.

As the baby stares at Satoru's pouty and moody face who was wondering which side of the diaper was supposed to be in the front, the little boy lets out a hearty giggle.

That catches Satoru's attention.

Satoru raises a brow,

"Oh, So you wanna get along now? " The grown seventeen year old questions, making the baby coo and kick his feet.

Satoru's pout slowly lifts into a smile at that.

"Well, You don't seem like that bad of a guy yourself. Maybe we can get along after all." He shrugs with a smirk.

"watch me babe, I just know well enough how to make these little poopers laugh." He says in confidence and you fold your arms, watching them with a raised brow and big smile.

"Here comes superhero Gojo to save the nakey baby's day! " He lets out, in the most childish playful tone, something you were yet to experience from a 'tough guy' like him up until now.

The baby bursts out in laughter, Your smile turning into a huge grin at the sight

"Superhero Gojo?? Say that again, lemme record it! " You laugh out loud, getting up immediately to look for your cellphone

"Hello? Don't try making fun of me, I'm getting into the charac— "

Oh, the baby loves interrupting the seventeen year old boy's moments for sure.

But this one seemed like straight up hate crime to Satoru,

The baby shoots his pee right at his face.

Your jaw drops down and your eyes go wide in literal shock at the sudden occurrence and you completely freeze on your steps.

As for Satoru,

Boy, he was way too deeply traumatized to move himself right away, Eyes squeezed shut tight he felt like his soul leave his body as all his limbs suddenly became stiff and completely paralyzed.

"Oh my– Satoru— " You were trying so hard not to give up everything and burst in a fit of laughter at the entire scene that unfolded right in front of your eyes.

The baby, however, seemed to be having the best time of his life, giving out the most hearty belly laughter as he finished his work on your boyfriend's face.

"Y/n— i think— I think I'm gonna lose my six eyes— I can't open my eyes—" His hands trying to reach out for you

"Satoru! You are not even trying to open them- let's wash your face!" You immediately put the diaper on the baby yourself before grabbing your boyfriend's hand and guiding his soulless body to the nearest washroom.

As you were saying goodbye to the little boy who was in his mother's arms, you couldn't help but notice how he was staring at Satoru in disgust with his nose scrunched.

You turn to take a glance at Satoru who was holding a tight lipped smile at the boy while waving goodbye. Trying to hard to not humble the baby in front of his mom.

The walk back home that day was quite, none of you really spoke. Satoru looked like he wanted to go back to his room and dive his face straight into the blankets.

You shouldn't be surprised, None of the kids you took care of really got along with Satoru. Most either ended up pulling locks of his hair or throwing their toys at his face. You don't even know why he was still so up about accompanying you every weekend.

You both pause as you finally reach the gates of Jujutsu high,

The awkward silence starting to make you feel bad for what he had to keep going through.

"Did you see how that little clown was looking at me? After I let him pee on my precious face, that too ?!" He finally bursts in utter shock.

"Satoru, I'm sorry.." you sigh, but as much as you felt sad for him you pursed your lips, concealing a laugh.

"You know — My mom always taught me when I was a kid to never befriend your enemies, Look what happened! You just can never be good to anyone these days! This is how people end up walking all over you!" He continued to rant,

as much as you were thinking he wasn't being serious, your boyfriend's tightly knit brows and fuming face told you otherwise.

"Ugh.." He grunts in annoyance before shoving his hands in his pant pockets, looking down, kicking one of the small pebbles on the ground

"This was my last straw.. I never wanna get stuck babysitting a brat ever again" He mumbles in pure annoyance.

It's been ten years since,

the image of the childish dramatic teen still so fresh in your memories, the guy who would always mumble an 'oh god, lets run' or 'another one of satan's poop' whenever you both would be out together and spot kids running in the streets.

A soft smile spreading across your lips as you pull the duvets down at the sudden burst of memories, slowly peeling your eyes open, vision trying to adjust to the big white and beige decorated bedroom.

You get up on your feet when you hear the noise of utensils clanking coming from the kitchen.

Taking small, lazy strides you walk towards the kitchen in your white oversized shirt and fuzzy woolen brown socks.

Rubbing your eyes as you pause on your steps and stare at the scene in front of you at the kitchen.

"Does my Kana like it??" You watch the snowy haired male softly question the two year old who was sat on the marble counter.

The little baby girl nods her chubby face and suddenly clasps both sides of the spoon in her tiny palms, trying to pull back the spoon that Satoru was holding, closer to her mouth, the little baby spoon seemingly containing some yogurt.

Satoru was sitting down the floor on his knees in front of the counter where your little baby was placed, The grown man was in just a pair of his checkered red sweatpants, without even a shirt on in the cold freezing temperature. All his previous scars scattered around his bare skin that ran all the way up to his face still visible well enough, One that you and your baby girl used to cry over when they were in healing process, but grew to love so much now. As you stand there and stare at them your memories took you back again to show the contrast between the once boyish dorky seventeen year old who had now grown up into the man right in front of you.

Satoru was too focused on the little girl to notice your presence, his big blue eyes staring up at the two year old who was swinging her small feet and staring back at her dad with big doe eyes.

"wait– let papa tie up kana's hair or it'll get in your mouth, baby" he smiles, giving her messy white hair that matches his, a gentle stroke. As soon as Satoru stands up, the tiny girl forwards both her hands and starts making grabby hands at the huge man.

"pa– pa! " She coos trying to reach out to him.

"c'mere my little softie" He chuckles, quickly lifting her off the counter and letting her chin fall slump on his bare shoulders, her big glowing eyes finally falls on you while she is sucking onto her thumb messily and almost drooling all over her dad's bare shoulder, Satoru who was busy looking for her little barbie hair tie couldn't seem to care at the moment.

"pa! ma– ! ma wakey !" she immediately points at you in surprise, causing your husband to immediately turn around to face you.

Your lips melt into the softest smile at your little girl's baby voice.

"morning to the best girl " you giggle, walking up to them and landing a big smooch on her forehead.

"morning honey" Your husband throws a wide lazy grin at you, his snowy white hair still tousled and messy, eyes still looking a bit puffy, signaling he too woke up not long ago.

"morning Toru bear " you smile,

he immediately leans in to try kissing you.

You try scooting away,

"Ugh, I haven't brushed yet—" you groan, trying to block his face,

"Neither have I," he shrugs with a boyish grin before stepping forward with your little girl still in his arms, proceeding to snatch a quick peck, which just slowly turns into a little kiss session.

Kana's eyes widen at the scene, and she lifts her small hand up in the air. "me– kana too! ma pa kana too! "

It makes you and Satoru pull away from each other and giggle, You both start smooching the little baby's face together who starts scrunching her nose in response.

"ma pa stink! " she immediately voices making you laugh,

"oh? no more kisses for Kana" Satoru raises a brow, starring at kana dead serious.

That makes the little girls eyes widen and bottom lips quiver before her big eyes start getting glossy.

Satoru's eyes widens at that.

"Papa was just joking! Papa will never stop giving kana big big kissies! " He tries to rock her as she continues staring at him with big sad eyes.

"ok– let's go play, let mommy wash her face! " he is about to walk away when you stop him by his arm.

"I'll take care of her, you should first go wash up" You suggest, but he shakes his head.

"I'll miss her all day once I leave for work let me spend some time" he pouts, You sigh and give a nod at that.

You watch them walk away,

standing for a bit longer at the same spot to watch your husband put the little girl who was in her cherry printed bodysuit and frilly white socks down the ground.

"it's snowingg ! " Her dad sits down the fluffy beige carpet and exclaims, pointing at the view in the window, making her looking at him with big smile,

"snoing! " she repeats after him and also pointing at the tall windows that displayed the snow covered garden with her tiny finger, before proceeding to waddle towards Satoru and climbing up on his lap to sit down on it, while still continuing to stare out at the window and swinging her little feet out of habit as Satoru starts carefully pulling back the locks of her hair, trying to tie it into mini space buns.

Your little girl suddenly looks back at her dad while practically sucking on her entire tiny fisted hand as Satoru is still doing her hairstyle.

"papa lov uh!" She innocently exclaims, throwing her tiny hands in the air, looking at him with her big round eyes, waiting for an I love you back.

Satoru's lips pull up into a big heartfelt grin.

"love you lot lot more softie" He whispers playfully making her scrunch her nose and giggle, before turning back to look outside the windows.

"papa luv kana" your baby girl continues to sing to herself while getting her hair done by her dad,

"my cutest little fairy " he mumbles to himself while continuing to do her hair.

Your heart felt so full, You got to be in heaven right now. You enjoyed every little moment they shared, hearing kana's voice in middle of the night entering your room to tap Satoru awake every time she felt scared in her room, how you will then find them both in the morning, asleep on the couch with her sprawled on his chest and drooling over it while he had his buff arms wrapped around the tiny baby but still managing to sleep soundly with her, the way you had to rip Satoru back and tell him to go get ready for work instead of cleaning Kana's snot and drool up constantly. Having to calm down Kana who would start crying bloody murder when Satoru finally gets dressed for work and stands near the doorway, waving you both a goodbye. Satoru having to always bargain with her by leaving a bunch of endless kisses all over her chubby cheeks and forehead, and also promising to watch Disney movies with her in the upcoming weekends if she stops crying when he leaves.

Oh she was definitely a daddy's girl. One that Satoru would never get tired of no matter how much of a brat she'd become. You have to hold back a laugh every time you think about how the Satoru you knew from ten years ago would react if he would have known about this information.

[greenandsorrow]

~Her man child~

Headcanons 📺

Vox is the definition of a manchild and I think it's kinda obvious.

He's the mean kind, acting with so much spite, sometimes without it being necessary or justified.

He NEEDS to be taken seriously. He tries so hard, blurring the lines between respect, fear and tolerance.

But when you two are alone... the telly-head man is a whiny boy.

He complains like it's a form of art. You can't help but roll your eyes playfully when he lets out a too loud sigh, but after doing so you're always ready to give him all the reassurance and attention he desperately craves.

Your man prefers being the little spoon. He's like a lap cat.

If anyone finds out about his cuddly nature, he's gonna die a second time...

Vox feels the need to constantly prove himself to Velvette and Valentino, but with you he feels safe. He can be overly emotional. And weak. And needy.

Very needy.

If you're not somewhere behind the camera admiring him and boosting his confidence, his day is ruined.

Grumpy, grumpy, grumpy.

In the mornings he doesn't even turn on his screen... settling for the protection setting instead.

You have to be patient with him.

Bring him a steaming cup of coffee and hug him from behind and he might as well start giggling like a schoolgirl.

He's too sensitive for harsh jokes. Being in Hell means ONLY dark and cruel humour, but Vox can't take it sometimes.

His ego is fragile.

In order to feel loved, Vox has to be showered in extravagant compliments on a daily basis. Whether it's about his appearance, his job, his amazing and very interesting personality... He needs them.

When you tell him he's better than the radio demon.... he literally gets rock hard.

Vox is in a constant dilemma between showing you off for all Pentagram City to know you're his, or keeping you secret.

It's the same as a boy with his favourite toy. If other kids see his toy, he's gonna have to share.

What if someone steals his favourite toy?! Or even worse... BREAK IT?!

That being said, he doesn't objectify you, but he's terrible at showing affection or appreciation.

He's gonna be there for you, help you with anything you need, laugh with you, spend quality time with you. Still, deep communication is a difficult subject for him.

Thank god you're observant enough to catch all the messages he tries to pass to you.

Such an attention seeker though.

Have you ever seen a six year old trying to impress his crush?

Just look at Vox trying to woo you. It's the same thing.

But he's not that bad... His self-esteem is an obstacle alright, but he becomes a rug for you to step on and use as you wish most of the time.

Vox would definitely go out of his way if you asked something from him. You're his rock. It's the least he can do.

The guy even whimpers in his sleep.

Vox loves to fill his hands with your thighs when it's bed time. They're warm and soothing to him, like stress toys. Being a walking television has its disadvantages temperature wise.

He would bend you over and take you in front of a mirror so he could see himself while at it, but he hasn't done so yet. He wants to ask you beforehand and make sure it won't make you feel weird.

Vox is easy to rile up. A breathy compliment and a squeeze of his thigh and he's more than ready to go.

He doesn't actually feel dominant, but he tries to act like it. This Vee member has the stereotype man = dominance engraved in his subconsciousness and so he fights to live up to it.

But between you and me... Treat him like an inexperienced and innocent boy and he'll be crying out in pleasure.

Aka... be a femdom. Even a soft one. You won't even have to try that much.

Another thing. Vox is loud. (Like his name implies 🫣)

He also pants a lot. Almost like he's hyperventilating.

Unlike Alastor, this man is very insecure about both his performance and... size.

I'm not saying he's lacking in either though. It's just how his mind works. Always comparing himself to his opponents and in this case, his opponents are other men that could perhaps satisfy you more thoroughly than him.

Allow me to say that he fucks in an anxious way. Hands shaking and his mantra "Does that feel good to you darling?"

You just need to praise him a little. (A lot)

He doesn't last that long but he'll be sure to rub your clit so you don't either.

When it gets too real, he tears up at the end, like a baby that's holding back from crying. But you're there to hold him until he calms down.

He's usually too tired (and still nervous) afterwards for proper aftercare. Vox likes to be babied though. It's more personal attention after all.

Oh to be cleaned up and tucked to bed! Only then will he feel comfortable enough to run his fingers through your hair and mumble a faint thank you.

Vox's head has a bit of an awkward shape for cunnilingus. However, he has a surprisingly long tongue that can reach more than enough to have you moaning out how good of a boy he's being.

He usually cums in his pants while eating you out.

And when you return the favour it's usually to relieve his stress at work. He feels like a teenager when you do it. It's an act of service, really.

He low-key fucks your face, not enough to choke you but you do gag around him. It makes him feel in control. It makes him feel like a man.

To sum up, Vox is a bit dependent on you and on your validation, but he would never hurt you or become too overbearing.

He's needy, but not stupid.

He is the definition of a manchild and I think I proved my point.

But he's your manchild sis!

Support a struggling university student! Thank you so so much🫶 CLICK HERE (PayPal link)

my masterlist || Hazbin Hotel masterlist 🦷

~~~

Vox divider by @rubra-wav

Support divider by @cafekitsune

The explicit content one... I don't remember :(

~~~

[perictione00]

Call me Mommy

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x reader

Warnings: Use of curse words, smut.

Synopsis: You give Gojo a taste of his own medicine.

Jujutsu Kaisen Masterlist

"You like that, Mr. Gojo," you said with doe eyes as you continued stripteasing the old man. You knew he was getting hard; it wasn't just some skin but the traditional Gojo clan kimono that did the magic. You started undoing the obi belt, revealing more of your body, leaving barely anything for imagination, but of course, you turned away to torment him more.

"Come on, sweetheart, this is torture," he said, standing up from the couch while taking off his office shirt. He was well-built for someone his age. Maybe this was gonna be much easier than you expected.

You got on your knees, trying your best to look as submissive and appealing as you could. Unbuckling his belt, you cupped his bulge, making him sigh. He looked at you with a loving gaze, and that right there was what you needed for your plans with him. Before you could think further, he got down to your level and kissed you deeply. Fuck, this is getting good.

You and Gojo had fucked around a few times, so you knew how weirdly kinky and adventurous he was when it came to sex. What you never expected was your friend showing you Gojo's sex tape online. It wasn't even surprising, but what shocked you was you. Yeah, that asshole had the audacity to not only make but upload the sex tape, including you, online without your consent. This shit was serious because, unlike Gojo, you had a job and a great reputation to maintain. It could not only embarrass the hell outta you but could get you ostracized socially or, even worse, get you fired. You were not gonna let a fucking manchild disrupt your life.

On your way to his infamous farmhouse, you kept checking your cell phone out of fear. You did not want a colleague of yours to find out about this. Once you reached the destination, you saw a few women coming out. Like, what were you even expecting? As you opened the door, you saw Gojo wearing a bunny outfit, showing his pole dancing skills. Now that was a sight for sore eyes. You wondered how someone could look so delicious but act like a total moron at the same time; however, that's not what you're here for. "You spoiled fucking whore," you begin as you move closer to him. "Want to tell me about the stunt you pulled?"

"Oh, baby, I don't remember telling you about my humiliation kink, but please don't stop," he said as he sat down in an intentionally sultry position. You were sure he knew about the effect he had on people, but today's not the day. Standing right in front of him, you slid your hands into his hair and pulled em before asking, "Would my lovely bitch like to explain why the fuck a sex tape was made and uploaded online without my permission?"

"Shit, babe—" you cut him off before he could continue, saying, "No, Gojo, you don't get to enjoy this situation; I'm serious right now. Delete that video right now; I don't care how many procedures it requires, I want it off the internet and your cellphone. Every fucking duplicate, deleted, RIGHT NOW!"

"Calm down, hon, why don't we have some fun?" he said as his hands made their way to your ass, "we can talk, but let's be comfortable first, no?"

"No. No, Gojo I'm not kidding right now; delete that shit, or just gimme your cellphone; I'll do it myself". Before you could search for it, he pulled out his mobile and said, "I'll comply with your wishes...I guess, but what's in it for me hmm?"

You've had enough; you already had a long day, and now he was getting on your last nerve. "Nothing. You don't get anything, Gojo; just by doing this, you've already compromised my job, and who knows what else? So just stop irritating me and do it".

"Okay, okay, whoa, grumpy pants. I will delete it from the internet, but at least let me keep a copy." he stopped and started laughing as he saw you glaring in his direction. "You know you can always join my company if things go downhill", he said while deleting the last copy as you replied, "I'd never wanna work under you".

"You sure loved it the other day in the hotel," of course, he said that, for which you gave him the finger.

Fast forward: a spineless coward got you fired by spreading rumors about your risqué incident, and now you were planning to get back at Gojo Satoru. You knew no sex tape, rumors, or false accusations could shame or humiliate him, so your petty self came up with the greatest idea of all time, and you knew it was going to work.

And that's how you ended up on your knees in front of Gojo Sr. It wasn't hard to have him wrapped around your fingers, and it was just a plus that he was far more fun than you imagined him to be. Because Gojo's daddy issues portrayed him like a villain, you couldn't imagine him having such a huge dick, and he was so good at using it too; you hit a total jackpot.

You moaned loudly as you rode him, with his hands on your ass, helping you move better.

You loved how his expert fingers always found your clit, helping you reach your orgasm right before he came. You rode through your orgasm as he kissed you deeply. "Fuck... fuck, are you okay, love?" he asked. "Never been better," you said as you pecked his lips again. You got ready to go back home after a shower together, as he was staying back for some work. It was all going well; you knew a confession was coming your way any day. You took more time with your heels to catch the perfect timing for something before you went out of the office.

As you walked out, you smiled when you saw the elevator door opening and a dumbfounded Gojo Satoru making his way to you. "Why—not trying to be rude, but why are you here?" he questioned as he looked back and forth between his father's office door and you.

"Oh, Daddy just needed some help, so Mommy came to the rescue."

[theboytatu]

Exo from most to least manchild

amazing and incredibly niche ranking meant for theboytatu

this is divided between the manchilds (kai baekhyun sehun and chanyeol) and the non manchilds (junmyeon kyungsoo jongdae and minseok)

1. KAI.. have you seen his room with all those legos and toys and the way he is completely useless for domestic work

2. baekhyun is just. stuck at age 18 emotionally and psychologically

3. sehun being the maknae has given this man a completely altered perception of reality.

4. chanyeol is not necessarily a manchild but he's way too codependent with his dog to be normal. it's giving old cat lady

5. junmyeon is pretty mature and seems to be well adjusted enough to not depend on a girlfriend or mom to sort his life out

6. kyungsoo is the opposite of manchild he's grumpy oldman

7. jongdae literally the only man in the group to bag a wife and be the breadwinner of his household... enough said

8. minseok even though he's not married like jongdae i'd say he's even more mature than him. this man is the most functional mature and emotionally well adjusted member of the whole group

[egg-emperor]

I love how much Eggman just absolutely can't stand things not being about him and especially when it comes to having to save the world because he hates it being for any other reasons that don't revolve around himself and his desires

Like him being ugh Idc stfu about the sentimental power of teamwork bullshit let's just get this shit over with

And it's so funny how Sonic looks so mad and goes walking up to him as if he's about to fuck him up for saying that until Sage gets in front and halts him

But then Eggman's attitude immediately changes when Sage focuses on the real reason this is important, saving him and the world that's his to conquer! And he's a pleased smug bastard about it because finally someone here gets it >:)

But then he becomes grumpy and impatient again when he has to witness more friendship teamwork bullshit

The way they're as mad at him for it as he is at them is gold. The grumpy old man can't stand these annoying kids and they can't stand him either XD

And the funniest example to me is when Sonic turned super and Sage looked to him with admiration just for second

And when Eggman noticed he was fucking mad and had another manchild tantrum

Like what is wrong with you why tf did that get you so pissed and jealous she was just looking calm down boy god damn!!! I fucking love him lol

He hates when it's not about him!!! He should be the focus, he should be in the spotlight, he's the one to be admired and listened to!!! And everything should be on his exact terms and his desires should always be top priority, all the attention should be on him. He can't stand even a second without it, especially if it's Sonic and co over him XD

And that was the case all throughout the base game too, including the old ending. It's why he had to induct Sonic into the Eggman Empire and command him to save them, so he could still feel like he at least has some power and a say in it even if he hates the circumstances and is still a grumpy grouchy old fuck about it all the while

And he did that again in this version too hehe

[originallandlockedmariner]

We live in an era when social media truly does us all a disservice. Post after post of everyone’s highlight reels, filtered and culled. Inspirational words that subconsciously make us feel more and more like we don’t really have our shit together. Like we are somehow fucking up every day, with every choice we make and can only be seen as a disappointment when compared to other people or their significant other. Comparison can definitely be the thief of joy.

There’s recent data that suggests frequent social media use (more than 2 hrs/day) has a negative correlation with levels of relationship satisfaction. Adultery rates increase and trust is tested. And intimate relationships aren’t the only ones affected. If you’ve ever wondered if your friends are jealous about what you post on your page, the answer is “probably.” In order to keep up with the Joneses, many people feel pressure to uphold an unrealistic persona to garner more likes. Feel pressure to only post the bliss. Nearly half of social media users reported feelings of jealousy when reading other people’s blogs, or their posts don’t get as much attention as their friends’. This makes me sad. I get it, but it makes me sad.

So for what it is worth, I can be an oversensitive manchild, grumpy old man, drown in a sea of assumptions, insensitive, needy, wrinkled, overweight, materialistic and - on my worst days - a complete asshole. This is me. This is reality. I make the one’s I love the most feel guilty, angry and fed up. I’m not proud of it, obviously, but in the ethos of transparent honesty, not every minute of my life is double rainbows and baby sloths. Life is life. Relationships are a full time job. I drop the ball a lot. What can I say, I’m a work in progress. I’m aware of it. I know posting pretty pics and earnest words can be misconstrued as gloating or showing off, I see that. I also realize that, to some, not sharing all the petty arguments, pimples, and haggard looking pictures can be seen as being less than honest. I am cognisant of all of that.

No couple never argues or disagrees. It is an impossibility. We argue. I’m also adult enough to admit 9/10 times it’s my fault. I’m working on it. I’m just grateful I am blessed with a partner as ‘two feet in’ I am. A partner who believes in the same values as I do. A partner striving to understand one another, finding common ground and avoiding hurtful words. It is essential to the health and well-being of any relationship. I’m thankful my partner not only listens but really hears me.

I just hope my words are seen as nothing but a personal opinion, shared experience or a thought you can chew on or mull over… or not. As for the filtered pics, the highlight reel snapshots, and etc… I’m working on it. ;)

@daily-esprit-descalier

[skinnypaleangryperson]

This was so sexy and oddly adorable, especially the part where they were snorting whatever it was they were snorting. It's so obvious about Rick is obviously just a grumpy grouch and is constantly looking for someone to hang out with-this is the second episode in a row where he's literally just hanging out with anybody that he can find. The only reason why he settled for Jerry in this case was because he got rid of the part of his brain that made him disgusted by him and made him more chill, but regardless-a grumpy incredibly manchild lonely old impulsive man.

[snakebitcat]

Spoiler-free review of Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

This is a story about grief and loss, and how your choice of how you deal with them shapes you into who you become.

The opening titles for each of the MCU movies always include images from the comics, or clips of the heroes they feature from past movies. I should have expected that this time they would be paying tribute to just how good Chadwick Boseman was as the Black Panther, but I had no idea that seeing all those glimpses of him was going to hit me as hard as it did.

When we learned about Chadwick’s death, there didn’t seem to be any good choice available to Marvel Studios. Do you abandon work on a sequel, and take away the chance for the kids who finally got to see Wakanda and it’s people in 2018, showing the world that they could be superheroes every bit as much as the kids of other ethnicities had been getting since Iron Man came out?

Do you recast the role, and risk having the writers and whoever takes over as T’Challa fail to do the character the honor that Chadwick did?

Do you retire the mantle of the Black Panther in the MCU entirely, and have another Wakandan hero arise in the hopes of forming a new legacy at the cost of the first major black superhero from either of the two major American comics publishers?

It looked like a No Win scenario.

In Star Trek 3, after having to sacrifice the Enterprise to prevent the villains of the movie from gaining information from the ship’s computers, he turns to Dr McCoy and asks “My God, Bones, what did I do?”

“What you had to do,” McCoy answers, “turn death into a fighting chance to live.”

And, like Kirk facing the No Win scenario of the Kobiyashi Maru test in his days at Starfleet Academy, that’s what Ryan Coogler and his writers did here.

I’ll leave it at that, except for this last diversion.

Sometime in the late 1980s, I was at a Waldenbooks flipping through a Marvel Superhetoes RPG sourcebook one afternoon, when some random stranger walks up, starts talking about the Champions campaign he’s running with friends at school, and we had a good time being nerds talking about nerd shit for awhile. And then he had to go somewhere, and I had to go somewhere, and if there is a multiverse there are universes where we never ran into each other again.

In this one, a few weeks later we ran into each other again at college, and one of us took the fucking hint and said that wr should exchange phone numbers (since email didn’t exist yet,) and I’m not arrogant enough to declare that meeting me changed John’s life for the better, but so much of the important events in my life since then can be traced back to stuff that I discovered thanks to John introducing me to an online service called US Videotel in 1992 that I can say that he did that for me.

John was the kind of friend that becomes family as much as any blood relative, and I was privileged to be a part of his life as he grew up, married, and had kids.

He was as huge a fan of Star Trek as I was, and I don’t think that a single Trek movie that was released after we met failed to see the two of us there on opening day, and when Deep Space 9 aired, one of the things I liked about it was that he got a commanding officer on a Trek show who looked like him.

And when Christopher Priest wrote the Black Panther comic that made the Wakanda we got in the MCU possible, I got to be the one who read it first and tell him that I’d stumbled over something I thought he was going to enjoy a lot, and he did.

And then in 2009, John’s heart gave out, and if I live until the end of the universe I will. Not. Ever. Accept that this was fair.

So 4 years ago, walking out of Black Panther, I was jubilant because it was such a good movie.

And I was FURIOUS that John never had the chance to see it.

This is a movie about mourning loss. But it is also a movie about celebrating why those you mourn still matter to you. And they knocked it out of the fucking park.

[goggular]

May the 40th Anniversary Be With You

“It’s not about what you love; it’s about how you love it. So there’s going to be a thing in your life that you love. I don’t know what it’s going to be. It might be sports or science or reading or telling stories — it doesn’t matter what it is. The way you love that thing and how you find other people who love it the way you do is what makes being a nerd awesome ... Some of us love completely different things. But we all love those things so much that we travel thousands of miles — which is probably easy for you, but we’re still using fossil fuels, so it’s difficult — to be around people who love the things that we love the way that we love them. That’s why being a nerd is awesome. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that thing that you love is a thing that you can’t love.”

-Wil Wheaton, Calgary Comic Expo, 2013

Artists are inspired by the artists that came before them, and inspire other artists in turn. When George Lucas saw Akira Kurosawa’s The Hidden Fortress, it inspired him to create Star Wars. When Patrick Read Johnson saw 2001: A Space Odyssey, it inspired him to use his father’s 8mm movie camera to create his own movies. And then in March or April of 1977, their stories intersected in a way that changed Patrick’s life forever. Forty years later, Johnson brings us 5-25-77, a coming-of-age story about his experiences that he wrote and directed. He began working on it, appropriately enough, in 2001, and was able to show a rough cut of it in 2007 to celebrate Star Wars’ 30th anniversary, but it took him another decade to complete the project. The final result has proven to be more than worth the wait. Patrick (Freaks and Geeks alum John Francis Daley) is a nerdy kid living in a time that was not kind to nerdy kids. In 1977, his mother Janet (Colleen Camp) calls Herb Lightman (the always perfect Austin Pendleton) to tell him about her son’s love of and gift for making movies, and Pendleton agrees that if Patrick can get to LA, he will arrange a meeting with Douglas Trumbull (Michael Pawlak), whose effects work on 2001 were what inspired Patrick to pick up his camera. While touring Trumbull’s production studio, Patrick becomes the first person to see Star Wars that hasn’t worked on it. Then he returns home, and has to decide whether he will stay in rural Illinois or leave home for Hollywood. Once scene that particularly resonated with me was the one when Patrick nerds the hell out in front of a group of his classmates, giving a summary of everything that happens in Star Wars, complete with sound effects and gestures acting out what the characters did. After he finishes, one of them asks him “What are you on?” Watching this unfold reminded me of how I used to do that (before my family got a VCR, my parents would ask me to watch shows they had to miss so I could do this for them), and of how, when I chose the wrong audience for it, I’d just get blank stares or sarcastic remarks. We’ve all had our moments when we love something so much that we want to show somebody why. And if you’ve ever read the comments on, well, anything really, you’ve seen that we’ve all had somebody who will bypass merely not sharing your appreciation and instead just take shots at you. But there will also be people who get it, and get you, and even if they don’t end up loving the thing that you love they will at least understand that it brought you joy, and be happy about the fact that you’re happy about something. There’s so much more in 5-25-77 that I could tell you about – a shot of one of Patrick’s eyes while he watches a plane taking off from the local airport which conveys his sense of wonder in the way the plane’s lights are reflected in his pupil is a perfect moment of beauty, for example – but you deserve the same chance to discover them by watching them happen that I got. 5-25-77 is the best movie I’ve seen so far this year. If at all possible go with a friend, like I did, because if you enjoy it half as much as I did then you’ll want to have somebody to nerd the hell out with over it afterward. And in closing, I’d like to give thanks to some of the people who inspired me: Siskel and Ebert, who gave me my first lessons in how to give a movie the review that it deserves. Lindsay Ellis, whose video The Smurfette Principle introduced me to the world of internet critics like the ones here at Goggular And Toby Mobias, the guy who runs the site, ‘and who once asked me whether I had ever considered writing reviews. Next week I’ll share another of Love’s Lost Labors with you, as I nerd the hell out about one of the best movies of 2016 that you most likely missed. But in the meantime go see 5-25-77. Snakebitcat also used to be the remote control for his family’s TV before his parents finally bought a set that came with one. Good times.

[him-e]

What did TLJ subvert except completely manufactured expectations? There is literally nothing in TFA suggesting that Rey is related to Luke or Leia. Snoke got killed off because they had a bigger villain, the only difference is they didn't get IX the following week to find out. How did TLJ subvert expectations, I am still wondering.

[theliterarywolf]

Okay I’ve been doing some thinking, and I’ve concluded that the Chip and Dale Movie is hateful. The reason being, the union of Gadget and Zipper, the use of Ugly Sonic (even though Ugly Sonic has nothing to do with Disney), and the use of Peter Pan as a bad guy. I think this film is a message saying; “Fuck you, we’re holywood and we can do whatever we like to your childhood.”, am I wrong about this?

I wouldn't call it hateful because, at the end of the day, it's a Disney product and we're not in the WWII-era.

I ended up writing a lot and, while I still want people to read this, I'm not an asshole, so... 'Read More' break

It's more a case of Hollywood as a whole not hiring actual writers anymore. Look around at any big adaptation or reboot and the result is usually a mess because rather than hire an actual writer, all these big studios will go on nepotism instead.

At this point everyone knows that the 'twist villain is Peter Pan and we're going to have his motivation mock the tragedy of Bobby Driscoll's life' is the result test-audiences despising the original twist villain cut (which had Pluto as the twist villain, hence where that 4chan leak came from).

Typically, even in a case of 'oh, we only have a small window of time to fix this', an effective, competent writer will be able to take in all of the feedback and criticism, look at their notes and rough drafts, and come back with something competent. Combine that with how the people doing this movie apparently had access to EVERY FUCKING MEDIA PROPERTY made in the past thirty years so they could have still made something interesting and competent.

But, no, they rushed it and decided 'lol, let's turn Peter Pan into a grumpy manchild who's salty about getting old and losing his career'. Despite, again, not realizing the connotations of that considering what Peter Pan's original actor went through at the hands of Disney themselves.

It's funny, and I know I need to stop coming in to 'fix' bad mainstream media ideas because Lord knows none of these studios are going to offer me a gig, but I was talking to a friend and I pretty much came to the conclusion:

'You know what else sucks about this? If they really wanted to have Peter Pan be the villain here, there was an easy, BLATANT way to do this.

Mimic the story of Babydoll from Batman: The Animated Series.

Have it so that Peter Pan, after years of being known as 'the boy who never wanted to grow up', is sick and tired of it: sick and tired of being seen as nothing but a kid, of being typecast in children's media, as not even being able to go out for a drink with his old friends.

Make it so that, inspired by all these other classic characters getting CGI, edgy, modern reboots, he tried to get the 'CGI-surgery' but it didn't work because his character outline has been stuck as it is for so long, it doesn't transfer well over to CGI (in comparison to, say, Chip and Dale who, despite being cute chipmunks all these years, have at least been given different costumes and stories, etc.)

Have it so that Peter starts doing what he does to other characters in a childish fit of 'if I can't have it, no one can', as a symbolic sort of 'you want to be treated and seen as an adult... But you're still acting like a child'.

And, BOOM! There you go! Problem solved and you're not spitting on the corpse of a dead man.

[wrdn-tabris]

For that emoji drawing character thingy, would 🐣 for little Madara as a child be ok? Shshsh

a grumpy old manchild for u

[daydreaming-in-letters]

Assumptions

10/01/2021

Pairing: Manuel Neuer x fem!reader (3rd person)

Word Count: 6,018

Warnings: rpf, mentions of age gap (not between reader and Manu and nothing illegal) and strong opinions on that, banter, jealousy, infuriation, fluff and cuteness

Summary: The reader finally catches her long time crush Manuel Neuer alone on her uncle's birthday. Things are quickly starting to get heated—sadly it's not the kind of heated she would have liked it to be.

A/N: Most of you probably don't know Manuel Neuer. He is the goalkeeper and captain of Bayern Munich as well as the German National Football Team and every once in a while I find my thoughts drifting towards that adorable and amazingly talented manchild. This story has been sitting in my drafts for far too long and I wasn't sure whether I felt comfortable with publishing it in case it ever got finished. But I found that there is an intolerable lack of Manuel Neuer x reader fics on here, so here it is. I tagged everyone from my general tag list, but I understand if this is not what you signed up for. So sorry in advance and please feel free to ignore this story at your leisure.

Picture found on Pinterest

If you like my story, you are very welcome to like, comment or reblog. Please don’t copy, repost or share my work on other platforms.

It was only a few minutes to midnight and still the dance floor was as filled as ever, an enchanting mixture of young and old people alike. The bass rolled deep in his stomach, making him even queasier than he already was, and the lights, flickering across the mass of moving bodies in sync to the rhythm of the music, didn’t help either.

Suddenly a figure broke through the outer wall of bodies and made her way over to his table. A small smile crawled over her lips, a little shy but genuine, yet he didn’t feel like returning it. He had hoped that she would change her mind upon the disgruntled look on his face, but much to his dismay, she did nothing of the sort and sat down right next to him, just as a waitress passed the table with a tray of colourful shots. The woman next to him stopped her, before she turned to him.

“Care for a drink?”

Did he care for a drink? He yearned for one.

“No, thanks. I’m not really fond of drinking.”

“Shame,” she shrugged, her smile growing a bit wider when she took two shots from the tray anyway. For a second he thought she might actually force him to drink with her, but then she placed down the two glasses in front of herself. Raising her first glass to him, she gulped it down in one swig, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand afterwards.

“Do you care for a dance then?” She nodded over to the dance floor, her eyes and body inviting him to take the offer.

He found that he somehow couldn’t hold her gaze when he answered, “I’m afraid I’m also not very fond of dancing.”

Her forearms resting on the table, she leaned closer, obviously not taking the hint that he just wanted to be left in peace and quiet.

“Then what are you fond of?”

“I think you know pretty well what I’m fond of.” To his own surprise he sounded even harsher than he had attempted to, but the last thing he needed right now was an eager fan trying to engage him in a conversation.

“I do,” she retorted undeterred, “but that’s not what I wanted to know. See, you might not have noticed through all your sulking, but I was actually interested in you as a person, not as a footballer.”

He huffed, although he wasn’t sure she had heard him above the music.

“And you might have noticed that I am not interested in talking about private stuff to complete strangers.”

Sure, he was being massively impolite, but at least he hoped that this would do the trick now. But instead of finally leaving him alone, she shot him an amused look.

“Ooooh, grumpy, aren’t we?”

Now it was him who leaned in closer, making sure she could hear him properly. “Look, it’s nothing personal, okay? I just...it wasn’t such a great evening for me.”

Unintentionally his eyes wandered over to the dance floor for a split second, where a very young, very blonde girl was dancing happily among his teammates and their wives and girlfriends. Cursing himself, he looked over to the woman by his side carefully, hoping she hadn’t noticed. But of course she had, her eyes still fixed on the girl.

“Ah, I see.” She turned to him and the glint in her eyes made his stomach turn. “Puberty is a bitch, eh?”

“Excuse me?” he spat, equal parts bewildered and stunned.

“You heard me alright.”

Who did she think she was? Impertinent woman.

“I don’t think that’s any of your business.” The volume of his voice must have slipped his control a little, as he noticed a group of elderly men standing nearby turn into his direction. Still the woman’s smile never left her face, appeasing the men who turned away again.

“Really? After all I have to sit here with a pissed thirty something man who refuses to acknowledge he let his hormones get the best of him.”

“Whoa! Okay, first of all, it was you who decided to come and sit at this table and second, again, none of your goddamn business.”

Her answer was a simple grin, still not fazed by his anger in the slightest. It almost felt as if she was enjoying to get him riled up.

“You’re right.”

“And?”

“What do you mean ‘and’?”

He rolled his eyes heavily. Why couldn’t she just leave?

“You know, that phrase usually goes with an apology. Like ‘You’re right. Sorry I assumed you’re having a mid-life crisis and bang a chick that is 15 years your junior to boost your fragile ego.’”

“Do you?”

Inhaling deeply, he tried to calm himself a little. After all, he couldn’t afford to yell at her again, not that he didn’t want to, but causing even more unwanted attention was not in his plans for tonight.

“I didn't say that.”

“Well actually,” she looked at him triumphantly, “you kind of did. I never said you were having a midlife crisis or that you need her to boost your ego. Those were your words. And seeing that my assumptions caused a reaction like that, I’m afraid I can’t really say I’m sorry either.”

All right, that was it. Enough was enough.

“Look, I think I have an assumption for you too, lady. I’m starting to assume that you only came over here to rile me up further. And guess what, mission completed. So why don’t you do us both a favour and head off to pester someone else now?”

She was quiet for a moment and for the first time, the cheeky smile left her beautiful, burgundy lips. He had expected her to be a bit shaken at least, maybe even as pissed as himself, and yet the next words were spoken with such dignity that he couldn’t help but admire her a little for it.

“Oh, I would love to say you’re right again, but I’m afraid I can’t this time. And since we seem to have warmed up to each other quite a bit by now, I feel it’s okay to be completely honest with you.” She paused a second, simply for the effect, he guessed and her warm eyes never left his. “I came to sit with you because you looked miserable. Still do, by the way. And I thought you might need an actual grown up to talk to. But it seems I was wrong. You’re just a pouty manchild, like the rest of them.”

She waved her arm, pointing over at the dancing crowd of his friends and their spouses. His eyes followed her gesture and when he laid eyes on the heart of the matter, a hot flush of rage began to swirl through his veins, making his hands clench into fists. Fully set on giving her a piece of his mind, not caring who might hear him at this point, he turned to her again. But the familiar figure that had somehow entered the picture without his notice made him stop in his tracks.

“Here you are, sweetie.” The man cooed, laying his large hand on her shoulder in a protective gesture. “I almost got the feeling you were hiding from me since I made you promise to dance with me tonight.”

She twisted her slender neck to look up at his gentle face, her attention making him smile sweetly at her.

“You know I’d never do that to you, Uncle Hans, especially not on your birthday. I just thought your no. 1 goalkeeper here was in need of some mature company, but clearly he is perfectly happy with the way things are.”

Bewilderment flickered behind the coach’s gaze as he looked between his niece and one of his best players and Manuel was sure that this might not be the last time they would speak about this matter.

“So then, may I have that dance now, sweetheart?”

“With pleasure.” Manuel watched almost transfixed as she gracefully took her uncle’s hand and stood up. It was only now that he noticed how perfectly her dress showed off her voluptuous curves. He was almost certain that she would leave without another word when once again she proved him wrong. Turning on her heels, she grabbed the remaining shot and gulped it down in one large swig before she looked down at him, almost as regal as a queen.

“Have a pleasant evening, Mister Neuer. I’m sorry I can’t say I enjoyed our conversation more. Oh, and just in case you should ever feel in need to talk to a grown up, don’t call.”

⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️

She could still feel his piercing look on her back as Hansi led her through the crowd and away from him. They had just begun to dance when the song changed and a much slower tune echoed through the large room. With a smug grin, her uncle pulled her closer, bringing his hand to the small of her back. Cheek to cheek he swayed her to the beat and she could feel that her mind was almost beginning to slow down, when he decided to pick up a conversation.

“Will you tell me what that was all about?”

She bit her lip like a little girl that was about to be scolded. “Do I have to?”

He chuckled deeply, the vibration rumbling against her chest and she could easily imagine the self-satisfied grin on his face.

“I’m certainly not going to force you. It’s just, you know, I always thought you kind of liked him.”

Instantly, she could feel her face heat up. How could he possibly know that?

“True. Liked, as in past tense. And besides, it’s not that I actually know him, personally, I mean. You could perhaps say I admire his talent, at most. And he also may be kind of easy on the eyes.”

She had become more and more quiet while she spoke, merely mumbling the last sentence. But he had heard her nonetheless, her silliness making his lips twitch in amusement.

“Hm. I clearly remember your aunt begging me to invite him over for a barbecue party last summer, telling me that you wouldn’t shut up about his quiet reserve, his amazing performance on the field and his stunning smile. Sadly he didn’t have time.”

She gulped audibly, tensing up a little in his arms, which made him enjoy their little talk even more. “So, what changed your mind?”

“He did,” she said a little too quickly, before she sighed so heavily that her uncle almost regretted bringing this topic up after all. “It’s just, I don’t understand his choice in women. I mean, he could choose literally anyone, so why her? I mean, she clearly doesn’t make him happy.”

“And how do you know that? You have spoken to him for what? Like five minutes?” He turned them around, making her face the gloomy goalie once more, before he went on. “I might be wrong, sweetheart, but I think you’re just jealous.”

Over his shoulder her gaze met Manuel’s for a split second before his eyes shot to his right, where the blonde teenager stepped into the picture, blocking him from view. She sat down on his lap, her arms dragging around his neck possessively, as her lips met his in a feverish kiss. Averting her gaze immediately, her eyes darkened and her heart clenched heavily in her chest.

“If by jealous you mean disenchanted, you’re right.”

Her bitter words made him loosen his grip on her so that he could see her face, and the hurt in her eyes pained him more than he cared for.

“I know you probably won’t believe me, but he really is a good person.”

She scoffed while her incredulous eyes landed on her uncle’s soft, blue orbs. “Well, he certainly hid that pretty well.”

He gave her a tight lipped smile. “I think he’s just lost his way a little at the moment.”

“So you think I’m right then?”

The excited sparkle in her eyes made him regret his honest words a little.

“I didn’t say that.” He protested strongly. In the end it was not for him to judge his players’ private lives. “After all he is a grown man and he can decide for himself.” He could see her face fall again and so he was quick to add, “Nevertheless, I don’t think you’re completely wrong either.”

He was very pleased to see that his words had caused a small smile to crawl back to her pretty lips. He almost felt like a proud father and when she finally leaned back in a bit closer, her forgiving gesture almost made him a bit bold.

“So, uhm, one more question, sweetheart. In the unlikely event that he should after all need a grown woman to talk to, can I give him your number?”

“Certainly not,” she insisted with a steady voice, but when she looked at him, the adorable grin on her face left no doubt that this was the biggest lie she had ever told.

⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️

Manuel was furious as he watched her leave towards the dance floor with the coach. How could she dare call him out like that and then leave without giving him the chance to set her straight? His eyes fixed on her, he watched as Flick pulled her closer, his eyes following her uncle’s hand to the small of her back. Being the gentleman he was, his hand had found the only spot on her back that was actually covered by the dark red fabric of her dress. And for a second he imagined what it might actually feel like to let his hand wander upwards until it covered her bare skin. Or maybe he could let it slip down a few inches, until his fingers would grasp the soft flesh of her behind. He had just been able to fully picture the exact feeling of her body pressed up to his when he could feel the man who actually held her in his arms catch his indecent look on his niece’s back. Immediately he sat up straight, averting his gaze, completely missing the amused smile on the other man’s face, and when he turned back to face him, he almost lost it when he found her sparkling eyes instead.

He was still trying to figure out what had happened, when he heard a familiar voice calling him.

“Hey, babe.” The high pitched noise made him flinch and instinctively his eyes shot to his right, just in time to pull his arms away before she slumped down onto his lap clumsily. She laid it on thickly as her arms wrapped around his neck.

“I missed you on the dance floor, honey bun. Why don’t you come dance with me?”

And before he even had the chance to answer, her lips crashed down on his mouth almost painfully, her tongue forcing his lips to open. The stench of alcohol filled his mouth and he pushed her drunken form off of him determinedly. Before she even had the chance to protest, he lifted her up and placed her in his chair.

“I don’t think dancing is a good idea in your condition.” She glared at him, but then she seemed to have forgotten what for and her lips turned up into a sheepish smile.

“Whatever you say, babe.”

“Look, why don’t you just stay here and I get you a nice, big glass of water to sober you up a little?”

She began to nod, but then her eyes lost focus und she stared past him at god knows what.

“All right, I’ll be back in a sec. Don’t go anywhere.”

Quickly he made his way over to the counter and ordered a whole bottle of water, when he felt the slap of a hand on his left shoulder.

“Wow, you look even more frustrated than after our knock out at the World Cup in 2018. What happened?”

“Don’t ask.” He sighed as he turned around to face his friend. Manuel hoped that he would accept his wish, but when he saw the apologetic look on Thomas’ face, he instantly knew that he wouldn’t drop the topic.

“Too late. I just did.”

With a dramatic roll of his eyes, the next words were spoken more to himself than to his teammate.

“Great, just what I need. Another pain in my ass.”

“Another? Who was the first then?” Obviously Thomas had taken no offence and sounded a bit too cheerful for Manuel’s liking.

“She.”

He looked over at the dance floor, where the impertinent woman was just sending her uncle the most beautiful, cheeky grin he had ever seen.

“Who? Y/N?” his friend asked incredulously.

Y/N. So that was her name.

“You know that annoying woman?”

“I do, although I can’t really say she’s annoying. Met her at the coach’s home once. She seemed rather sweet and intelligent to me.”

“She certainly hid that pretty well,” Manuel growled under his breath, earning him a surprised frown from Thomas.

“Are you gonna stand here and stare daggers at her or are you gonna tell me what she did to make you throw a fit?”

“She approached me out of nowhere to tell me that I’m dating a teenager to compensate my inability to commit to a partner on eye level.”

Thomas let his words sink in for a while.

“That doesn’t really sound like her. I mean, what reason would she have to come at you like that? She doesn’t even know you.”

Manuel sighed, thinking about the way she had somehow coaxed the statements from him instead of making them herself.

“Well, she might have phrased it differently,” he admitted meekly. That seemed to spark Thomas’ interest even further and he could feel his expectant look on him, pressing him to finally tell the whole truth.

“Actually she didn’t say it like that. She only made an allusion and made me somehow say those things myself.”

“Mhm. And exactly what allusion did she make?”

Manuel rolled his eyes again, his ego still fighting to repeat her words out loud.

”She said puberty was a bitch, clearly hinting at the fact that she thought my girlfriend was too young for me.”

He hadn’t even finished his sentence when Thomas’ roaring laughter filled the air.

“Now that does sound more like her.”

He needed a bit to contain himself when he suddenly looked up at Manuel with an unusually serious expression on his face.

“And I have to admit, Manu, she kind of has a fair point there.”

“What?”

Manuel could not believe his ears.

“Come on, man. It’s what everyone thinks. She just said it out loud.”

“Fuck you.”

But instead of rising to his expletive, Thomas just looked at him sympathetically. Pushing himself off of the counter, he pat his shoulder in an attempt to encourage him a little, ready to leave him to his self-denial.

But then he stopped. “You know, I personally didn’t have a problem with it. You’re an adult, you can make your own choices. As long as you’re happy, right? But the truth is, Manu, I don’t think you are. Not anymore.”

⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️

“See, I told you he wouldn’t be here. No need for all the panic beforehand.”

She narrowed her eyes at her cousin, shooting her a dirty look.

“Yeah, and I hope it’ll stay that way. Oh, and for the record: I wasn’t panicking at all, it was just you and your sister’s sudden eagerness to lure me here that got me suspicious and nervous in the first place.”

“We didn’t lure you here,” her other cousin piped up a little offendedly. “We simply wanted to spend some time with you. Come on, it’s been what, like 4 months now? Since you moved to Munich three years ago, we hardly get to see you anymore.”

“You and our father,” her sister added quickly. “So it seemed the best option to kill two birds with one stone and bring you along. After all it’s called a family day, right?”

Y/N sighed, not fully convinced, but finally ready to let the topic go.

“Right. Let’s just hope for your sakes that there will be no surprises today that might prove your guilt after all.”

“How are my girls doing?” she heard a familiar voice from behind her back, turning towards her favourite uncle with a beaming smile. What she didn’t see, however, was the brief look that was exchanged between her cousins as soon as she had turned her back, proving exactly what she had suspected all along.

“We’re good, dad. Actually, we’re more than good, we’re excellent,” the older cousin chirped.

“Great.” He paused a moment, but it was clear that he had more to say. Rocking back and forth on his feet, he looked from one woman to the other. “So,” he began carefully, before a huge Cheshire grin spread across his face. “I hope you all reserved a dance for me tonight.”

“Oh, no, daddy, not again.”

“Please, don’t make us do this.”

“There will be dancing here? If you had told me that beforehand, I certainly wouldn’t have come.”

“Of course there will be dancing. I thought that was obvious.” He had to try very hard to look a little slighted, while he actually drew a horrendous amount of amusement from their antics. “Remember, girls, we have a tradition to uphold. Whenever there is some dancing at a party, you have to reserve at least one dance for me. That’s the rule.”

And with that he turned and left them on their own again.

“Ugh, why does he always have to do that to us?” her younger cousin whined.

“Oh stop it, silly. You’re the one who likes it the most and everyone knows.”

⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️

She had been the first to pay tribute to the family tradition and after a very exhausting Discofox dance session, luckily one of her cousins had taken over from her. Kicking off her heels, she welcomed the feel of the cool grass underneath the soles of her feet. Walking over to one of the empty tables, she slumped down heavily into one of the comfortable looking chairs. With a contented smile she let herself fall back against the backrest, closing her eyes and breathing in the mild air of the warm summer night.

“Care for a drink?”

His voice made her jump, sitting up straight immediately, eyes shooting wide open. And there he was, two shot glasses in his large hands and grinning down at her, obviously very satisfied with the slight scare he had just given her. He looked amazing, the smug bastard, in his casual jeans and white shirt, two buttons undone, topped with a sporty black jacket. She highly doubted that she had ever seen a finer man in her entire life. Luckily that didn’t make her lose her sharp tongue.

“And here I am thinking that you weren’t fond of alcohol. What happened?”

He smiled sheepishly, only one corner of his mouth tugged up, when he handed her her drink. He took his time, grabbing a chair and positioning it opposite hers, then sitting down carefully, not wanting to spill the shot all over his chest. She had already come to think that he was trying to avoid her question after all, when he locked eyes with her and finally began to speak.

“Hm. It’s been a while since I last saw you. A lot of things happened, you know. Maybe it was finally time for me to grow up.”

“Hear, hear.” With a mischievous smile she raised her glass. “To your coming of age, then.”

He rolled his eyes playfully. “If you insist.”

His magnificent blue eyes never left hers while they chinked glasses, and a second later she could feel the more than welcome liquid moisturising her suddenly very dry mouth.

With a thud, their glasses landed on the table, both of them chuckling like giddy children when their eyes found each other again and then, for a moment, there was nothing but silence. The world seemed to have zoned out, leaving behind nothing but his aquamarine orbs and the wild smile on his face.

Just gradually, the world seemed to set back in again. There was the monotonous clitter of the crickets, overlaid by the muffled sound of the music that was carried over by a soft breeze, and loudest of all she could hear the beating of her own heart against her chest.

“What else has changed now that you are a proper adult?” she heard herself ask, not having the faintest idea where those words came from and how the hell she managed to deliver them so smoothly when her whole body seemed to have gotten out of control.

He took a quick look over his shoulder, his thumb pointing in the same direction.

“If you mean the dancing, I’m still not very fond of that.” Her face must have fallen a little because he was quick to add, “Except...”

“Except what?”

His eyes landed back on hers and she almost choked on her hitching breath.

“Except I think I could make an exception for the right partner.”

From the corner of her eye she registered a movement between their bodies, but she was hesitant to let her view stray from his captivating appearance. At last it was something in his eyes that looked at her expectantly which finally made her snap out of her trance.

Looking down at his hand sheepishly, it took her a while to fathom that he was actually asking her to dance with him.

Slowly her eyes wandered up to his again, asking a silent question, which he answered with an almost imperceptible rise of his eyebrows. And before she knew what she was doing, she laid her hand in his and let him pull her to her feet.

He had just turned towards the source of the music, when she suddenly held him back.

“No, wait.”

With a puzzled look he did what she asked of him and let her twist him back around.

“Why don’t we just stay here? The music is loud enough anyway.”

A gentle smile curved his lips. “Sure, if that’s what you want.”

She nodded softly, her teeth biting down on her lip in excitement.

And before she knew what was happening, she found herself secured against his chest by his firm grip. It felt like being pressed up to a hot furnace which she would usually have appreciated any other time, but on a sweltry night like this and in a place she had wanted to be in for so long, it was pure torture. And as if this wasn’t bad enough already, his strong fingers pressed down on her lower back, threatening to scorch her even through the fabric of her blouse as he pulled her an impossible inch further into him. He was so close now that she could sense the heat radiating off his cheek as well, bringing along a whiff of his enticing scent and she couldn’t help but close her eyes as she inhaled deeply and her head began to spin. It was odd, but her mind was completely blank by now, blank except for one thought and her lips spread into a blissful smile as she repeated it in her head again and again, relishing in the feeling that if either of them moved just the tiniest bit, their cheeks would inevitably touch.

Slowly they moved and despite the unhurried shift of their bodies her heart was beating so violently that she thought it pondered jumping out of her chest to meet his. There was no chance he wouldn’t be able to tell from the way he held her, and when he finally drew away a tad to look at her, she fully expected him to call her out for it.

But he didn’t. Instead his sinfully soft lips curled into a reassuring smile before he spoke.

“You were right.”

“I beg your pardon?”

A cute chuckle escaped his mouth, leaving the corners of his eyes crinkled in the most beautiful display of amusement.

“About what you said at your uncle’s birthday party.”

“Oh.” She had said a lot that evening, words that she had come to regret later and remembering them now set her cheeks on fire. “About what exactly?”

“About everything,” he admitted without hesitation, yet he couldn’t hide the spark of misery that flitted across his sea blue orbs. “Didn’t take me very long after that night to finally see things clearly.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” It was true. Although she knew that she probably sounded like a madwoman after everything she had confronted him with back then, at least the frown on his forehead seemed to confirm that. “I truly am. I really would have liked to see you happy.” Even if it was with that girl.

She was glad she had managed to keep that last bit to herself. She had no idea why she had said that she was sorry in the first place, but judging by the wild smile on his face it must have been the right words after all.

“Well, I certainly am happier now than I was that night.” He shrugged. “So, thank you, I guess.”

She huffed. “For what? Making absolutely inappropriate remarks on your relationship? I shouldn’t have done that. I know that now. So it should be me who is sorry here, don’t you think?”

She could feel his fingertips press into the soft flesh of her back.

“Don’t be. I guess you were exactly what I needed.” It took him a second before he realised what he had just said. “I mean it. It was exactly what I needed.”

His eyes snapped to the left and she was thankful that he couldn’t see the grin that decorated her lips as she watched the treacherous colour creep into his cheeks, spreading all the way to his ears. For a while he didn’t say another word, probably still trying feverishly to figure out a way to take back his slip of the tongue. And when he finally spoke, she wished he hadn’t.

“There is one thing though that I have gone over and over in my mind. But no matter how long I think about it, it just won’t make sense.”

She already knew that she wouldn’t like where this conversation was heading now, but she found herself asking nonetheless.

“And what is that?”

His head turned without a warning as his eyes searched her gaze and for the blink of an eye his lips came so close that she couldn’t say if they had actually brushed along hers or if her needy heart had just imagined their brief touch. He didn’t answer her question right away, his breath blending with her own in the narrow space between their faces and suddenly she wasn’t so sure anymore if she had really only dreamed up their fleeting foretaste of a kiss.

“Why did you do it?” Panic rose in her chest. She hadn’t done anything. After all it had been him who had turned his head. But as he went on, she realised that he wasn’t referring to that at all and the suffocating distress eased away bit by bit. “I mean, we didn’t even know each other when you decided to come at me like that.”

Now it was her who had to avert her gaze.

“I think I don’t really want to answer that question.”

“Why not?” His voice was so soft and gentle, making it even harder to answer him.

“Because the truth might be kind of ugly.”

“But the outcome wasn’t, so I think I’ll take that risk.”

Her feet stopped their mechanical movements as a violent shiver ran down her spine. So this would be it then. It would be over before it had really begun. Pity. But at least she would have the memory of these few minutes, of his genuine smile and the way he had held her tight against his chest. With a deep sigh she bid their daydream of a dance goodbye.

“I could tell you now that it was for some noble reason, but at the bottom of it all I think it was nothing more than jealousy that drew me to your table that night. I had been unable to ignore you all evening — ignore her. The way she behaved like a spoiled brat, drinking and losing control, not caring in the least that she not only made a fool out of herself but of you as well. God, I hated her in that moment, for having everything I ever wanted and riding roughshod over it. And when I saw you sitting there, looking so utterly crestfallen, somehow I couldn’t help it.”

An undefinable silence settled between them and the only sound that remained was the beat of the music wafting over from the party that went on behind his back. The faint whisper of the melody seemed to push itself up between them and tear them further apart, exactly as she had expected. And just like the bass, her heartbeat slowed until it died away completely.

It was over and everything she wanted to do was let go of his hand so she could do him the favour of leaving, but to her astonishment he refused to set her free. And rather then releasing her from his grip, he squeezed her hand, briefly and just once, but it was enough for her to find the courage and face him. But instead of finding a frown or a scornful pair of eyes, his blinding smile made her forget to breathe for a moment.

“I had hoped you might say that.” And with that he pulled her into his arms again and continued swaying her to the music as if she had not just revealed her repulsive self to him. Her brain still a step behind, she couldn’t do anything but stare up at him stupidly.

“What? Why?”

“Isn’t that obvious?” And when she shook her head like a petrified imbecile, an amused chuckle rumbled through his chest. “Because even though your behaviour was extremely infuriating, I have to admit that I like you. And asking you out on a date will be so much easier now that I know you like me too.”

With a violent jolt, the useless muscle inside her chest started to beat again, its heavy pounding filling her ears with white noise as the world around her started to spin. Unable to stop the motion, she felt herself leaning in, her nails digging into the undoubtedly expensive fabric of his jacket as she desperately tried to gain control over her unruly body.

“So, will you go out with me?”

It seemed like an eternity until she finally mustered the strength for a mechanical nod. Neither had she noticed in her struggle that he had stopped dancing, nor that the priceless look on her face had made his eyes and heart go soft for her.

“Great. That’s settled then. When are you free?”

It was only when he took a step back, taking his warmth with him as his hand slipped out of hers, that she snapped out of her trance.

“Now.”

“Now? Like right now?”

More like now as in before she could screw everything up again.

“Yes, why not? I know you have a busy schedule, so finding a date when we are both free might be tough. And above that, it is a beautiful summer evening.”

Had all those words really fallen from her mouth right now? Embarrassed about her lack of composure, her hand flew up to her mouth, making him smile again.

“I guess you have a fair point there.” And just like that, his hand was there again, fingers entwining slowly with hers like they had never been meant for anyone else. “All right then, let’s get out of here.”

***

Tag List: please let me know if you want to be removed or added by either ask or DM - thank you!

@summersong69 @myloveforhenrycavill @dorothea-hwldr @omgkatinka @ashesofblackroses @amberangel112 @madbaddic7ed @icarusblinders @zealoushound @asuni921 @endofalldays01 @nerra75 @indigosaurus @nowyouseeme098 @cap-just-said-language @miss-rebel-without-applause @wheretheriversrunintothesea @maan24 @mochionly @introvertedmouse @sofiebstar @kebabgirl67 @marytudorbrandon @littleone65

[egg-emperor]

I was thinking (my thoughts get a lil morbid at times), given that Eggman is shown to STILL be salty about Maria's death stealing attention from him over 50 years ago, Do you think it's possible that he takes a moment to mentally gloat over maria's death and be smug about how he's still alive and she's worm food (and proclaim himself the superior Robotnik)?

Like would he look down on her for being "stupid" for not ditching Shadow to save her own ass and for being "weak" because she died from a single dinky little bullet, while he has survived things that would have killed an ordinary man 10 times over , multiple times?

Yours and mine both lol you know you've come to right place here 🤝

I mean Eggman is canonically so horrible, self-centered, and selfish that he feels resentment towards his dead 12 year old cousin and felt jealous when people talked about her because it wasn't all about him like he thinks it always should be. And even decades later as an adult, he didn't grow out of it and think "that was wrong, she was an innocent soul who was killed in a terrible way and people talked about her because she was a nice sweet girl and I was just bring a bratty kid demanding attention" like others would. He has held onto it to this day and it suits him very well for how horrible and selfish he is, how he has low empathy, and how he's a manchild.

So I can definitely see him having the most twisted thought process to make himself feel better on the occasion she crosses his mind. Like when he feels that bitterness seeping in and gets agitated again, he turns his nose up and scoffs and grumbles nasty stuff like "Some great, strong, brave girl she was when she died to a measly bullet, pfft" and "If she's so great, why is she long gone while I'm the one still here, accomplishing amazing things and on my way to victory and ruling my glorious empire?" and mentally lists all the amazing things he's done that she never came close to and things he's survived that would've killed a normal man a hundred times over.

I also like the idea that he'd judge like "She really died so he could be saved, what a pathetic waste of life. When I rescued Shadow with a robot when he fell to earth, it was because I was going to make good use of him as a weapon/tool and use him as the blueprint for my androids!" instead of just doing it as some foolish selfless act that ends up getting him killed like she did instead of saving herself! Because he really can't understand doing anything for anyone ever if it won't benefit himself by appealing to his own selfish desires in any way. And it's another way he can blame her and feel like he would've made the better smarter choice.

And because he acts like it was so easy to wipe out GUN himself and like they're just nothing and so pathetic compared to him like I mention in my next post, I can imagine him acting like being killed by GUN of all things is such a skill issue because they're so weak and pathetic too, as yet another way to have a one up over Maria. And yes, by saying that he'd actually also be insulting his grandfather and idol in the process, whether it comes to his mind or not. But with the way he also called Shadow the "so called" Ultimate Life Form and literally just dissed him and his creation like that in the very same TailsTube ep, I don't think that would exactly concern him lol

These are all the things that come to his mind whenever she crosses his mind and gets him grumpy, it will soon put a big proud cheeky smirk on his face and cheer him right back up again. He won't hesitate to put anyone down in any way he can to affirm that he's the superior, even in the absolute sickest of ways like that! That's golden, he's so nasty XD 💜

[spongebob-connoisseur]

🍂

Any ship you want

Thank you anon!

Hmm I'm not really sure what to write about,, I remember being asked a while ago about SB ships and I did gave my answer but I don't really agree with it anymore plus I feel like I worded it wrong. I guess I'm breaking the rules for it not being a headcanon tho if you're okay with that.

I am avoiding finishing my essay for this so I better make it good.

One thing interesting about the SB fandom was watching the rise and fall of ships. I remember when Spandy was number 1 and right behind was Patbob. Now Squidbob is number 1 with Spandy being almost a dying ship. Patbob has been gaining traction recently but I haven't seen nearly as much compared to Squidbob. It's fun seeing it rise up tho.

I've said before I never really had a strong spongebob ship like if one was suggested to me I'm usually like "oh that sounds cool 👀" but never really following anything. I usually headcanon SB as aroace for as loooong as I can remember and this is excluding anything writers or Hillenburg said.

But also there is the fact that SB is a very shippable character and I can see why Squidbob especially has a large following. Like it's literally in the source material when you think about it. Stephen wanted Spongebob to be like an undersea Jerry Lewis and took ideas from Stan Laurel in particular.

Both of them in comedic duos that essentially had the grumpy straight man and goofy manchild character (Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin, Stanley Laurel and Oliver Hardy) which is what Spongebob and Squidward's sort of dynamic is.

I can't speak on how Jerry Lewis' character was like cuz I hate the actor who plays him but I might eventually see it for spongebob reference later on but I have watched some Laurel and Hardy stuff for spongebob reference.

Aaaand well, they did stuff- like ditching their wives to hang out with each other, marrying basically the genderbent versions of themselves and occasionally sleeping together, having the dynamic of an old married couple, there was one movie like the episode rockabye bivalve except instead of a scallop they raise an orphaned child together? Imagine if rockabye bivalve was spongebob and Squidward instead of spongebob and Patrick. That's the energy.

I've heard people shipping Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis together (the characters not the literal actors) because of their dynamic but I have to wait and see to compare it to Squidbob.

So like even outside of the show hints that some of the Squidbob stuff could be intentional and not just gags👀

The episode pizza delivery was actually one of the oldest spongebob concepts to become an episode. Really it's said to be the first episode to be written which sets up Spongebob and Squidward's dynamic perfectly. And we know for sure it was probably the first episode to be written because he wears his work hat through the entire episode which was actually somethinf planned for the show that spongebob would love his job so much that he'd never take off his hat.

I'm getting off topic but it's an idea from the very beginning of the series that there is something more to them and the episode that was first written is literally about them both and their struggle to deliver a pizza and the really nice part of squidward to show that he does care for sponge and sponge loves hanging out and doing things with him.

As for other spongebob ships, I like SandyxKaren and planktonxmr. Krabs. But I also like karenxplankton?? Like I just want karen to be happyy and those little bits of hope when plankton is romantic towards her is nice because it makes her happy. But then plankton ruins it with obsessing over the formula and her and sandy really have something going. She's really happy whenever sandy is around which is so pleasing?? I just want her to be happy. And sandy does a better job at keeping Karen happy. So sorry plank, Squirrel took yo girl.

As for krabsxplankton. There's just a lot to dig around with that ship. First of all enemies to lovers. Second they got good chemistry and episodes where they show their softer side and bond are too cute.

Also while Squidbob is the biggest ship, I like the idea of Squilliamxsquidward. I just want a sad past fic of where Squidward's rivalry is also paired with attraction to Squilliam and he gets his heart broken by him. Man I miss Squilliam in the show. Where did he go? I haven't seen his character in so long. Him and Squilliam better have something going😩

[jbbuckybarnes]

Berlin City Girl [b.b.]

Pairing: Bucky x Reader Description: You decide to move to a completely new city that you’ve never been to before and ask your neighbor for some eggs. Prompt: Seeing a new city for the first time. For: @softbiker​‘s challenge. Sorry, it’s suuuper late. Warnings: awkwarness, the title of this one shot should have a warning for German people my age lol, not proofread.

M A S T E R L I S T

This was a big thing to cross off your bucket list. Moving to a city you haven‘t been to before. Berlin, Germany. You had done a lot of research on the are you would be moving in. It was fairly central and you knew most people understood English there. It wasn‘t super cheap to live there, but definitely more affordable than living in New York City or Los Angeles. „Hallo.“ „Hello, I need to get to Friedrichshain.“ You showed the driver the address on the phone. Seeing the skyline was breathtaking, not New York breathtaking, but Berlin was still an amazing sight to see. It was afternoon by now and the warm light of the sun was letting the city shine in all its colors. That was your new home. The drive through the city was eye-opening. Driving through different parts of the city was like driving through different countries. Sometimes the houses looked super modern, sometimes super old. You knew you had a lot to explore here.

You‘ve never been so glad to move into an already furnished apartment. The two suitcases alone were already hard enough to get up the stairs. After taking a breather, sitting on top of your suitcases you finally gained back control over your lungs and got out your keys. Shk. Click. The door opened a bit automatically from the draft in the house. You fully opened it and walked into a living room filled with evening sunlight. After heaving in your suitcases you went on a little tour of your new home. You‘d only seen it through the screen until now. Big living room, average-sized bedroom with a full-sized bed and a fairly small bathroom, but there were always sacrifices to make. In this case it was a bathtub. Laying on your new couch you contemplated to go grocery shopping or not. You were already completely ruined from the long flight and would rather ask a neighbor for some eggs or something like that. But you had also learned that Germany mostly are grumpy when it comes to the topic of neighbors. You figured it‘s because all of them had that distanced approach and nobody actually tried to go towards each other. With a shrug you corrected your hair in the mirror next to the door and grabbed your keys. Three knocks. Shuffling behind the door. A door being slightly opened with a safety lock still visible. An incredibly blue eye looked at you and you offered a smile, „Hey, I‘m Y/N. I just moved in across and wanted to ask if you had maybe some eggs you could borrow me. I‘m totally obliterated by the 12-hour flight I just had.“ The pin of the safety lock was taken out and the door fully opened. Now you saw both ocean blue eyes and the size of the man living across from you. „Oh, yeah, sure. Gimme a second.“ He mumbled almost shy before vanishing from the door to shuffle through his kitchen. You took a tiny peek inside and saw a rather grey-ish interior. There was some red and mint here and there, but mostly the apartment was decorated very monotone. He came out of his kitchen door with a box of six eggs, „These should be fine.“ „Thank you so much. When I go grocery shopping tomorrow I‘ll bring you some again.“ You smiled at him gratefully. „You don‘t have to...Y/N was the name, right?“ You nodded, „My name‘s Bucky.“ „Nice to meet you, Bucky. You‘re also American?“ You asked. „Yes, from Brooklyn.“ He smiled politely. „Always wanted to visit New York City.“ You gave a little dreamy expression. „It‘s a nice place.“ He shrugged with a big grin on his face. „Well, uh, I‘m gonna make myself dinner. See you around, Bucky.“ You took a step back with the eggs in your hand. „See you around, Y/N.“ With that smile the door closed. You felt like you knew his face from somewhere, but you couldn‘t quite put your finger on it. The only category you could put him in was, „Something before the blip.“ You had been one of the 50% that was gone for 5 years. Thankfully that also meant your savings account had continued for the 5 years you were gone. With a bowl of scrambled eggs you sat down in front of your laptop and watched some Youtube videos for basic German. „Hello, Hallo. How are you, wie geht es dir? Left, links. Right, rechts. Forward, geradeaus. Can I have ___, Kann ich ___ haben? Why, warum? Where, wo? What, was? Who, wer? How, wie? She, sie. He, er. They, es.“ You watched these a few times a week to at least understand the basics. You didn‘t know how big the grin was on the other side of that living room wall. Your pronunciation was cute, but you didn‘t know that. The next morning was spent with getting breakfast and some other things in the Späti down the street and then unpacking your suitcases. „I should bake. This place still smells so stale.“ You mumbled when you looked into the fridge for the third time that hour. So you started making cookies from scratch, spending the better part of your morning in your kitchen and browsing decor while waiting for the cookies to bake. Right after you put the cookies onto the counter to cool down there were two knocks on your door. You peaked through a slightly opened door to see Bucky standing there. In full light your neighbor looked even better. In his hands was a vase full of flowers. „Oh, hey, Bucky.“ You smiled and opened the door fully. „Um, hey. Just thought a welcome gift would be appropriate.“ He smiled and held out the white vase filled with tulips. „Oh god, thank you. You didn‘t have to! I know Germans usually don‘t do this, so I didn‘t really expect anything.“ You looked back up to the giant man looking past you, his nose moving. „I just made cookies to get the dusty smell out of the apartment. If you wanna come in we can wait together till they are cooled down.“ You smiled up and he looked at you with a first reluctant but then eager nod. „Ignore the dust on the furniture. My morning consisted of anything but cleaning.“ You chuckled. „Oh, I don‘t mind if there are cookies.“ He chuckled. He looked so scarily big, but you could already see the softie behind those muscles. „Patience. I just got them out.“ You raised a brow and he innocently stood there and looked up while you put the vase in the center of the kitchen isle, desperately trying to find two other decor pieces to make it look better. Before you could even react his left hand had reached for one, „Hey! They are still hot, don‘t burn yourse-“ You looked at his left hand, just now noticing the different colored fingers and it clicked. „Oh, that‘s why I know your face.“ You facepalmed yourself and got a chuckle back. Great, your neighbor wasn‘t just nice, but also a supersoldier with an assassin past. Better not fuck it up with him. „I bet that‘s one of the best things to use that arm for.“ You pointed out and caught him off-guard. „You know, getting food out of the oven without mittens. Stealing burning hot food. That kinda stuff.“ You shrugged and got a laugh back. „Sure, it has its benefits in the kitchen.“ He smiled at you brightly. You had already made a friend in Berlin and you hadn‘t even left the house to meet anyone. „I can show you around a bit if you want, by the way.“ He suggested while stealing another cookie. „I‘d love that.“ You shook your head as he innocently ate the cookie. „Manchild.“