#growing in pain | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

n1ghtwh1sp3r · 2 months ago

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When I think back to my adolescence, there’s a strange feeling that washes over me: a mix of relief and nostalgia. It was a difficult, suffocating time when it seemed like the only way out was to slip through the smoke of cigarettes or hide in the shadows of drugs that promised a brief moment of peace. And then there were the relationships. Toxic relationships that I thought were love back then, but now I see them for what they really were: traps. We clung to anyone because being alone was terrifying, and the idea of facing our demons by ourselves felt unbearable.

I remember how badly I wanted to escape, to run away from a reality that didn’t feel like mine. It was as if everything around me was collapsing, and I was standing there, lost among the wreckage. I didn’t know how to rebuild myself, so I tried not to think, drowning out the noise in confusion.

And yet, now, looking back, there’s a part of me that smiles. Not because it was easy, not because I’d want to relive it, but because somehow it made me who I am today. Those dark days, those moments when I thought I’d lose myself forever, taught me resilience. They showed me boundaries I should never cross, even though I learned the hard way.

There’s a strange nostalgia in all of it, as if even the pain has a place in the past, as if that chaos, that desire for self-destruction, was part of a path I had to walk. It’s not a happy nostalgia, but the kind that makes you appreciate every free breath you take now. Now that I’m an adult, I feel relieved. I’ve left behind the monsters that used to chase me, but I watch them from afar, like old friends I no longer need to see.

I’ve found peace, but I haven’t forgotten the storm.

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zillychu · 7 months ago

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what if his suit WASN'T shrink wrapped

#danny phantom #i wanted to try a slightly more realistic hazmat suit #only slightly #the thought of him having a much bigger size he was meant to grow into... cute... also painful!#wear proper ventilation when dying in your parents lab!#zilly art

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parisoonic · 4 months ago

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Demo has had many careers - tattoo artist isn't one of them.

#tf2 #tf2 fanart #team fortress 2 #tf2 soldier #tf2 demoman #demo warned him a tattoo might be painful and he's just thinking 'wow! he wasn't kidding! i! am! in! agony!'#then they go wake medic up at 3am to grow soldier a new arm #slowly drawing all the mercs shirtless ig 🥴#i as gonna add a tanktop to solider but my boyf came along and was like '...you don't....neeed to add one...ifyoudontwantto.........' HMMM #omg how has it been this long and ive never drawn a gun or someone holding one?? fake fan i guess

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spokespeaksspeccs · 1 year ago

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I feel so weak,

I know how to keep going but acceptance is hurting me,

I know I have to trust my truth but I don’t want to

It hurts

I want to grow from the pain but man does it hurt

I feel so drained and empty

So many losses follow

I miss the people I’ll never see again

And I miss the ones I can’t see again

#acceptance #growing in pain #healing #speccspeaks #in the eye #my writing #mental health

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seventeendeer · 6 months ago

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ppl are too quick to point to laios' disability as the reason his friends think he's a freak sometimes. so many instances of laios getting yelled at are, in my eyes, a case of "this guy had to emotionally mature very early in order to be there for his little sister" combined with "much older friends who never had to learn to manage their own emotions to the same degree"

a lot of the time he's right about needing to be more direct/deal with things in a way that may seem scary/needing to put your gut reaction aside. he tries not to make his friends uncomfortable and he puts up with a lot because he's trying to keep the peace, but he also pushes the others out of their comfort zones purposefully to try to get them to think more constructively. everyone else in the party is prone to acting on their gut instincts and avoiding uncomfortable situations even when facing them head-on is very much necessary. part of what makes laios such a great leader is the fact that he knows from experience how to put his own feelings aside to help someone else grow.

yes, he does make a lot of social blunders by accident and he does struggle to connect with others, but not all of his positive influence on others is accidental or "despite" making people uncomfortable. a lot of the time, I think it's clear he knows exactly what he's doing and he's trying to help the people around him process emotions in a healthy way as they all go through some truly harrowing shit. all the main characters support each other as well as they can with their unique emotional skillsets. laios' skillset just happens to be "gently talk child into eating her vegetables"

#deerchatter #dungeon meshi #laios touden #of course this IS also connected to his disability. bc having an iron grip on your own emotional reaction is often needed to survive #in an ableist society. and he wouldn't have had to parent falin so much if the two of them hadn't been ostracized growing up #but the point of the post is that laios is a lot more emotionally intelligent than his party (or many fans) realizes #he's not just stumbling ass-first into being helpful he is clearly applying a skillset that is direly lacking in his friends #marcille and chilchuck in particular haaaaate uncomfy situations and are under the impression that if smth Feels bad then it Is bad.#and senshi avoids so many situations and feelings because of his trauma that he's been unable to grow past it on his own #this post was particularly inspired by the griffin meat scene. everyone else suggests senshi just avoid his trauma forever #and they're absolutely shocked when laios suggests senshi try to grow and overcome his pain bc. That Sounds Scary. lol #so many of the story's themes revolve around overcoming your own impulses and biases #and laios is uniquely suited to leading that change.#r.i.p. laios/toshiro friendship you guys have so much more in common than you realize

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ashdoodle-s · 1 month ago

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Between two worlds

#my art #honkai star rail #hsr #sunday hsr #sunday #this was a pain in the butt but also really fun to do #grisaille method….#its growing on me #it was unintentional but iykyk the title reference and it actually fits really well #I didnt realize the cutout of Xipe looked like an egg and that the puzzle pieces look like the cracked bits

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mellosdrawings · 5 months ago

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It's "bully Azul" time !!

(Og post here)

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blasphemousclaw · 5 months ago

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he doesn’t like to talk about it

#elden ring #rykard lord of blasphemy #messmer the impaler #rykard #messmer #my art #in my brain their relationship was like rykard thought messmer was really cool because of his curse #rykard might view his curse as a superpower… one that he’d have taken advantage of if he were born with it #but for messmer it causes him a lot of pain both physically and because it drives a wedge between him and his mother #and with rykard’s growing doubts about the golden order he’d ultimately see messmer serving marika as a weakness and he’d be disappointed #and maybe this even influenced rykard’s decision to pursue his own serpent??#to do what messmer should have done and use the serpent’s power to turn against the erdtree #basically like rykard was obsessed with messmer but later realized he wasnt as cool as he thought. sad!

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 3 months ago

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Lan Wangji goes to Lotus Pier (No relation to the AU of the same name)

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #better drawn mdzs #mdzs #lan wangji #wei wuxian #Another split type comic because I decided to be ambitious.#This flashback is currently beating my ass. There are so many timeskips within the flashback! My flow and pacing are wheezing!#I loved how this scene starts with the crowd's point of view. The observations and gossip add a lot.#And it helps reposition us to what the external perspective is on these two. Namely that 'they don't get along.'#Tensions are known! Even here in Nouveau Lotus Pier.#Ah...Lan Wangji never got a chance to see the Lotus Pier of Wei Wuxian's childhood and adolescence...did he?#It's not the same. He's not the same. Call them by the same name and people will know what you mean...#...but the first version - the one with the fond memories - is gone for good.#It's sort of interesting isn't it? How names can hold so much power and still be hollow?#We often get stuck over past versions of things. Be it ourselves or other people or places.#Change is scary but the truth is nothing ever stays the same. It's always moving. You're always moving.#It's okay to mourn the past. Maybe it's people you lost or the person you hoped to be. Let yourself feel the grief.#And then? Then you grow around that pain and keep on going. If you feel like you can't - remember you don't have to do it alone.#A side note: Listening to the tossing flowers extra is so essential for this scene. It's cute and gives us more of [redacted]#What's [redacted]? You'll see in the next comic!

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 1 year ago

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finally at that age where i'm thinking i should get a tattoo. not bc i feel strongly about it, just seems like a waste not to. i've got so much skin i'm not using

#feels so selfish like. all this skin what am i saving it for?#open to design suggestions! (please make me regret this offer)#maybe some deep sea horrors. a pretty watercolor of a gulper eel #once saw a person on the subway with various Skeleton Tattoos on all their limbs #i respected their commitment to the theme #but more than that i respected how all the skeletons were engaged in Activities #dancing in a ballgown. juggling its own (and two other???) skulls. swordfighting. being a mermaid skeleton #ANYWAY. the only reason i haven't already gotten tattoos is i just couldn't be bothered #i'm old enough to know i don't have any strong-but-potentially-temporary feelings driving me towards it #aesthetically i prefer decorated to non-decorated surfaces. but i'm not artistic or thrilled with commitment #honestly it feels like sheer laziness. indecisiveness--nay. immaturity!--that i HAVEN'T gotten a tattoo yet #letting all this blank canvas go to waste. tut tut i need to grow up and be an adult and get a tattoo sleeve already.#really i've put off my responsibilities long enough #(in fairness i DID at one time have 18 different piercings)#(but i took most of them out bc they interfere with wearing headphones and/or shoving my face in my pillow during Sleep Time)#(i only kept the nape piercing bc oddly enough it ended up being the most convenient. and the least painful to get now i think about it.)#(neck piercing? no problem. normal pair of earrings? Tribulations And Suffering. i don't make the rules i just poke them with a stick.)

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saltair-and-webweaves · 2 months ago

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Was I made from a broken mold?

@camaceall/growing sideways, noah kahan/calling a wolf a wolf, kaveh akbar/soon you'll get better, taylor swift/the last words of a shooting star, mitski/unknown/unknown/ @ryebreadgf/@/geloyconcepcion on instagram/god must hate me, catie turner/words from @/simply.simoney on instagram/I can't breath, bea miller/@holyaches on twitter/she used to be mine, sara bareilles/soon you'll get better, taylor swift/idontwannabeyouanymore, billie eilish

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qrowscant · 1 year ago

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CHILDHOOD HOMES (and why we hate them): After over a decade, you return home to find it unchanged.

A short, interactive horror story, and my first attempt at making something in Twine. Inspired by Anatomy, House of Leaves, and my deep hatred for my own childhood home! Full trigger list included on the itch.io page.

Play here!

#its done!!! finally! im so anxious and an hour late but here you go! yell at me if anything breaks and ill fix it lol #pixel art #horror #ditherpunk #interactive fiction #haunted houses #body horror #mal-art #childhood homes (and why we hate them)#the growing pains collection

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cubbihue · 3 months ago

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What are a lot of the main consequences for a kid becoming a fairy? And does Timmy ever miss his bio parents or his human friends?

Aside from his inability to visit the Human Realm? There are Eight Major Consequences to becoming a Fairy. At least, 8 that Timmy has discovered.

The first major consequence are Magic Adjustments. Human Children's small bodies need to handle at least a Pixies' worth of magic output. Slow prolonged exposure to Fairyworld is matched with an increase in consumed Magic.

This is not an issue for Fairies, born and raised within Fairyworld, but for outsiders its a lot like an itch you cannot scratch. An irritation that won't go away until the transformation's complete, or the body adjusts in full.

Timmy used to deal with frequent painful growths in his magic. He finds that exploding objects with his magic helps alleviate the pain somewhat. Or doing one of Jorgen's harsher military courses.

Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

#fairly oddparents #fop #fop a new wish #fop timmy turner #fop wanda #fop peri #fop timmy #timmy turner #wanda #peri #asks #peri likes exploding things a lot so he joins timmy whenever this happens #does timmy miss his bio parents?#<- will be answered in a different ask later :D !!#timmy doesnt deal with this sort of thing anymore :D !!!#its a lot like growth spurt pains id say #like when u can feel ur legs stretching and ur bones growing #very oof outchie #itty bitties fop au

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starry-bi-sky · 3 months ago

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my martha knight au in a nutshell:

Danny/Martha: see up here?

Danny/Martha: *taps skull*

Danny/Martha: intense psychological damage

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Danny/Martha: *upon finding out she's pregnant*

Danny/Martha: oh my god i cant be a mom, I'm fifteen and homeless--

Danny/Martha: im going to be a terrible mother--

Danny/Martha: i live in a cAR--

Danny/Martha: what if the baby inherits my powers? Oh no--

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Danny/Martha post giving birth: i've only had Bruce for a minute and a half but if anything were to happen to him i won't even need to fuse with Vlad, I'm razing this goddamn planet to the ground myself

Danny, to Baby Bruce: you are the last remaining thread of my sanity. I'm going to give you the world :)

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Danny/Martha prior to getting pregnant: Fuck it, if everything in my life has led to this moment, i'm allowed to make one stupid decision. I'm getting drunk and getting laid

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Danny/Martha while Bruce was a toddler: i swear to fucking god i am going to kill the next person who talks to me--

Bruce: hi mommy!! i brought you something!!!

Danny/Martha, immediately flipping on a dime: hi baby!! what do you have?

Bruce, a weird child like his mother: a spider :)

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Danny/Martha, talking to Falcone after he made an unsavory comment at her and Bruce: If you ever come near me or my son again, I will dig up your shithead father's corpse and make you eat his skin.

Danny/Martha: do you understand me

Falcone:... crystal, ma'am

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Danny/Martha new in Gotham: *getting mugged*

Danny/Martha: *grabs man's arm*

Danny/Martha: I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF LIKE A TWIG, FUCK BOY, DO YOU HEAR THE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH--

(she then proceeds to terrorize Gotham's night life for the next extended period of time, mostly unintentionally)

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Danny/Martha: Danny Fenton?? No. you must be mistaken, my name is Martha Knight.

Danny/Martha: this here is my littlest knight, Bruce.

Danny/Martha: I made him all by myself :]

#if martha could become the joker in one timeline if bruce died then she had to have SOMETHIGN going on up there mentally. im all for it #im a 'martha wayne may have been secretly batshit' truther. subscribing to bruciemilf's portrayal of the wayne parents #danny fenton is not the ghost king #dpxdc #fem danny fenton #female danny fenton #martha knight au #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc crossover #dpxdc au #dp x dc au #dp x dc #giving danny fenton psychological issues since 2022 folks #points at marthadanny: she's a hot mess with unprocessed trauma and psychological prblems. she's hanging on by a thread #LISTEN TO AFTER ALL BY CHRISTINE EBERSOLE THAT SUMS UP MARTHADANNY ENTIRELY #bruce your mom is even crazier than you. how is that possible. her trauma has trauma.#marthadanny: i dont wanna talk about my feelings OR my trauma i want to raise my son. go away #martha: who knew that being a child hero without any support would result in deeply rooted psychological issues and paranoia in spades #marthadanny: im fine (<- experienced liar. is not fine. please god someone restrain her before she claws someone's eyes out)#she has eyebags the size of the savanna and wields red lipstick like a weapon. she's going to rob a rich man blind. she has a baby to feed #what would a mother not do for her child? what heights would a mother not climb.#and you're shaken to your soul with an ache that you cant erase. like the tears you never cried but still keep scrubbing off your face.#there's a pain you cant imagine. the little talk that keeps you wide awake that somehow turns to bold determination that you wont ever make #the same mistake. so you've got to feed your little future and ensure her talent poise and charm might just grow up and save you after all #fun fact bruce and danny's birthdays are exactly one week apart. danny is Feb.12 and Bruce is Feb.19. take that as you will :)

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utilitycaster · 24 days ago

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I think the two most obvious foils for Ludinus Da'leth across all of Critical Role are Essek and Keyleth, which is both fascinating given how different those two characters are from each other (Essek being a foil in terms of isolation, single-mindedness, harm in the name of ambition, knowledge, and other such wizard themes; Keyleth being a foil in terms of people who have lost something at a young age to the gods and bear resentment for it, political leadership, belief that the world belongs to mortalkind, and longevity) but also it's extremely funny that they both are the partners of Liam's character.

#i could write like a longer piece about it but that kind of sums it up #like. hm. how do i put it.#the thing about essek is like. he like ludinus made some IMMENSELY selfish and harmful choices #but the timeline was SHORT all things considered. ludinus didn't REALLY get going until hundreds of years post-calamity #and he expresses NO regret whereas the vibe with essek in 2x97 is that he's kind of hated himself ever since #and you know. maybe if someone had intervened with ludinus 400 years earlier he'd have done the same. but who would. does he have friends.#the thing about essek haters who aren't just angry shippers is that they all ascribe to ontological evil and yet don't ascribe it to ludinu #meanwhile keyleth is just like...the scope of her pain is somehow both smaller and larger #and yet she's able to see herself as part of a whole and not the center of the world #the fact that power and long life was much more naturally given or earned by her rather than seized is also i think part of it #but keyleth's speech this past episode in particular...it's a direct rebuttal of ludinus's dumb speech in 51 #this can be your world without having to kill anyone if you're willing to work and grow and compromise and grieve #cr spoilers #critical role #ludinus da'leth #essek thelyss #keyleth

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d0not-disturb · 5 months ago

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Art: @d0not-disturb (me)

Writing: @thathermitweirdo

Designs: @katiky-png

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