#grocery store lore

[glassesfreekjr]

The CEO of MakoMart (LLC) was named Trout Jehoshaphat Craven, and he almost deserved it.

Hosting Turf War matches in a supermarket was a rather off-the-wall business decision to begin with, but it payed back dividends in publicity, exposure, and — most importantly — that sweet, sweet slice of the profit pie. Now, the ground-level employees of MakoMart never saw much of said profit, but Trout reasoned to himself that, by virtue of his mere presence as a high-net-worth individual, it would all trickle down to them one way or another.

One evening, he had his most brilliant idea yet: a theme song! Not your standard commercial jingle; MakoMart already had several inoffensive tunes in that vein. Nay, this was to be a full-fledged battle anthem worthy of both the Turf War scene and MakoMart itself! If a bowling alley was able to squeeze a smash hit out of some worthless floozies from the boondocks (Deep Cut with "Smeared Canvas"), why, Trout J. Craven could commission an even better work of art for even less, couldn't he! Thrift and Grift were his two middle names! (if you discounted the one he already had, but tbf who wouldn't?)

So it's rather unlucky that, by happenstance, the indie band this CEO hired to compose an anthem for MakoMart were:

A.) fervent anti-capitalists B.) already in a collective, melodramatic affair with his wife.

The five-and-a-half minute power ballad that played over the intercoms that weekend made both these points very explicit.

(The lyricist is best known for his ill-fated collaboration with Pearl Houzuki on "#$@%* Dudes Be #$@%* Sleepin'", if that gives you a better picture.)

During the resulting scorched-earth legal klusterfuffle that continues to this very day, the rights to the "employee bonus" one-and-a-half-minute karaoke version (now playing) was inexplicably sold off to interested parties from Barnacle & Dime — who started sneaking it onto their Turf War playlist. While this karaoke version is but a shell of what it's supposed to have been, it's become one of those near-memetic songs where if you know, you know.

Eventually, life goes on, jokes are left behind, and this tune will comfortably fade into the grocery store background static that it probably should've been in the first place.

(sample source list can be found on my YouTube)

[groovyskulls]

sun if the pizzaplex started charging rent

[gorespawn]

also while we're here i would like to share the two iterations of tumblr user gorespawn that have existed since i abandoned this blog back in like early 2021. Who wants me

[cosmixzpunk]

[new and old art dump ft. River 2022-2023]

This art is so old, even the new one is dated design-wise. They are a supporting character of Starpoint. I can't go over their abilities or powers, or anything. Dated designs lead to dated problems. I drop a piece of lore here anyway; they work at a cafe and are on the verge of breaking down on a daily. Their emotions feel like they are getting tested every single day. Doesn't make it better when they end up picking up an unintentional part-time job while being in college. They keep smiling through it. Even if they are really about to crumble.

[ssreeder]

your writing is so amazing. besides the fact I'm astounded at the fact you're able to crank out those monster chapters for us on a regular basis its just an art the way they flow and read so easily. i say with the biggest compliments that those 12-20 k chapters don't feel like monsters AT ALL, and that's coming from someone whose dyslexic!!! im reading those mfs like they're a grocery receipt!!! kiss kiss

DUDDDEEEEE i need CONSTANT word count validation so thank you.

I sit down to write my silly little POVs and I go into a trance and then I come up for air and I’m like “why do I have 7k of Zuko and Sokka NOT DOING ANYTHING FOR THE PLOTTTTTT” haha but they’re snuggling though so it’s ok. Haha

Thanks buddy & I’m happy my 25(.9)k chapter doesn’t read too long…. I really do give 110% effort to not read like it’s 25k haha. Thanks anon kiss kiss cheek poke back.

[ikeasupremacy]

Hiii I love your blog! What music do you think Lockwood and Co listens to at Portland Row?

oh my days hello! thank you so much, this is such a good ask! i feel like, if spotify is around during the problem, they have a group spotify account for sure! but i definitely have a lot of thoughts about their personal music tastes :)

(everything mentioned has the spotify link attached!)

lucy is probably a fan of artists like lizzy mcalpine, phoebe bridgers, taylor swift, olivia rodrigo. sweet hibiscus tea (post by my mutual that i adore) is such a lucy song, as well as iris by the goo goo dolls! her favourite taylor swift album is speak now all the way, and maybe midnights too! when she first met holly she made an angry girl feminine rage playlist about her with all sorts of feral taylor/olivia rodrigo music. she's the kind to listen to pop rock music on full volume in her room screaming every word of it and i am so here for it :D

george would listen to conan gray for sure! he also listens to lizzy mcalpine but he's more of a mitski, arctic monkeys, rex orange county type of listener. kid krow is one of his most loved albums, and his favourite taylor swift album is red! i also feel like he would listen to classical music sometimes, especially george cubbins! piano hits the sweet spot, and he plays it in his earphones while he's at the archives on a case / reading comics while curled up with tea. (RAAHHHH i can imagine it so well somebody write a fic)

lockwood definitely bullies george for listening to classical music, but theres a hc floating around tumblr that he plays piano -> he probably plays a few of george's favourite pieces for him! but as for music taste? he listens to taylor swift (for sure). he claims his fav album is reputation but it's actually 1989. he listens to lana del rey and his favourite album is norman f*cking rockwell or ultraviolence, and he probably dabbles around with the weeknd and older drake music! i feel like he also listens to coldplay!! he probably has a subtly named playlist with songs that remind him of lucy (first song on there is lucy lucy by betcha)! during the famous grocery store incident lore, a shitpost involving a lot of locklyle, one of the many hcs is that he played his lucy playlist instead of the group one time and was just like 😳

the skull probably asks lucy to play peaches by jack black just to see lockwood dramatically leap to the piano and sing along "soulfully" to it, saying lucy instead of peach every time LOL (he is belting awfully and hitting all the wrong notes and it is pissing EVERYONE off)

but as for a group playlist, just a blend of all their music tastes really. a lot of taylor swift, and they would listen to the radio often! (english people will know) they listen to radio 1's morning podcast with greg james while doing up breakfast!

idk that image is so nice to me, quiet mornings at 35 portland row with the radio on, humming to a random song. music is literally integral to so many things imo, and i love the idea that l&co play a lot of it! thank you so much for the ask <3

[bumblingbabooshka]

Amanda Grayson with her Hubby and Stepson

[nicodwhw]

sketchbook cover with my new OC Magz <3

[yesyourstalker]

Ikkan: warabie wake up!

Warabie:mmmmmm.. what? I thought it was our day off?

Ikkan: it is. Get up and get dressed

Noji: we have to go to church!

Warabie: church!?!

Ikkan: yeah. Our dad wants us to go at least once while we're here

Warabie: ugh ..really? You guys don't seem like you're the... Religious type

Noiji: we're not religious. It's just something we do

Ikkan: we only go just to catch up with other people in the town you know and just talk to each othr while listening to service

Noiji: I like going to church, learning a lesson of the day, singing solms, talking to our neighbors and then we have a nice dinner with everyone.

Ikkan: it's only an hour sermon.

Merv: boys hurry up! Hope you have your Sunday. Best on. Cirrina sweetheart, oh look at you! The dress fits perfectly

Cirrina: I didn't think I'd look cute in this, but I like it. Though it does look a little dated

Ikkan: you kept my old clothes?

Merv: we weren't just going to throw it away. We keep all of your clothes yours too Noiji. We have all your things in boxes

Noiji: why?

Merv: just in case we had another baby. we didn't want to buy all new stuff....... I didn't want to buy new stuff... Shimi do you have the dish?

Shimi: yeah... warabie get dressed we need to leave in 15 minutes

Warabie:.*sigh* .. . Mr Kane do you have any dress clothes that I can fit in?

_______________________________________________

Pastor: so Pikaia looked to Cod still wet from the salt water he emerged from. He looked upon them and asked what his purpose was and why he was here. Cod looked down with nothing but love and said to Young pikaia 'I give my children of the Sea no purpose, no goal and no reason' meaning?

Church: "we are free we"

Pastor: yes we are free to roam and grow and make our own choices. But with those choices comes with?

Church: "effects and consequences"

Pastor: yes. So let's turn to Gideons 12:44

Warabie: what page is that?

Ikkan: here...[flips]

Pastor: I bring up choices today because that is what we will be discussing today the act of choice and the reasons behind those choices. This lecture will start with a squid named malamar..............

Cirrina: *sigh*

Octoling: I know it seems boring now. But give it a couple more minutes and it'll start to get interesting. father Berg is a really good storyteller

Cirrina: ugh I hope so..

Octoling: You're not from around here are you? hehehe.....

Cirrina: no.... I'm here to visiting... I'm just working on my grandpa's farm

Octoling: Kane is your grandfather? That's pretty neat he delivers milk to our shop week

Octoling mother: bayou! No talking during the sermon!

Bayou: sorry ma.... Talk more during dinner. My name is bayou by the way

Cirrina: name's Cirrina

Bayou: Nice to meet you Cirrina

[Hour later]

Pastor: malamar looked upon Cod with tears of sorrow. 'why! Why? Why have you abandoned me so? why have you forsaken me for so long? for I have done all that you've wanted me to do. I was kind, I was generous, I've given to the poor and I fed the hungry and yet you still turned your back on me for why?

Cod stared down at their lost child and they said 'for you've only done those not out of kindness, not out of generosity but for a reward. If it wasn't for my desire to help those who were not able to help themselves you would have walked past them if I didn't vocalize my dismay seeing my children in pain you would have done nothing.' malamar looked on cod dried and frail with nothing else to say forced to work another 100 years...... alright so that's the end of our sermon. Let's all catch up with each other.... I see some new faces and some old ones. Let's all talk to our neighbors.

_______________________________________________

Old lady: look at you so handsome just like your father.

Old man: just lik em ye gott yea long nek an evythig. Why havnt yav fixed ya beak yet? Looken odd whit it ben off centered. Ya need ta gu to the dentist. Cant be looken lik that at yur age

Noiji: aww come on... I like my beak

Old lady: ohhhh is your twin still in school? I heard they dropped out poor things

Noiji: he just graduated actually...... ikkan come on and say hi to the Flanigans

Ikkan: hi Mrs Flanagan

Old lady: well look at you! Ya so tall....nice broad shoulders too

Old man: too tall fa music tel yu that! Yu coud be a hell of athlete ya coud. 3 pointers and such If it wasnt for yur klutzy and awkward demeanor

Ikkan:...............

Old lady: oh he's so quiet like usual

_______________________________________________

Pastor's wife: so how's living in haddaido? I'm sure you're sick of the city.

Merv:ehhh it has its charm. I like the food and environment. Noiji really likes it there. it's more...it's more technologically advanced. I can barely use my shell phone he's making music with one.

Pastor's wife: how's your wife? I haven't seen her in a while? Has she retired yet?

Merv: nope she's currently on vacation right now. Having her own......girls trip

Pastor's wife: hmm

Merv: hmm

_______________________________________________

Pastor: how did you enjoy the sermon?

Shimi: I actually quite enjoyed it actually it was very eye opening. I haven't been in church since I was a boy

Pastor: well we're open to more volunteers if you're welcome to join us every Sunday

Shimi: well I might invest in that

Warabie: since when you were a religious type dad?

Shimi: hush up and help setup the table ....... I would like some advice tho father.

_______________________________________________

Bayou: so you actually use real weapons?

Cirrina: yeah

Bayou: and you don't.... die?

Cirrina: no the weapons aren't powerful enough to kill you. It's just to...... splat you

Bayou: Does it hurt?

Cirrina: it really depends on the weapon. Some hurt more than others, guns like splattershot or a dual weapon they can leave small marks sometimes. Charges, surprisingly aren't that bad. Depending on how far away they are it can feel like a pinch when you're hit. The worst ones are brushes and rollers, I got a headache after someone splatted me with a carbon roller

Bayou: and you do that for fun?

Cirrina: yeah it's more of a sport where I live I'm actually the captain of my turf war team so hehe

Bayou: you must be really good I've never picked up a weapon before. We're actually not allowed to have them here. We don't believe in the glorification of warfare or the mimicry of violence

Cirrina:....oh..... that's cool..... I mean I wouldn't say it's violent It's mostly just painting...... Trying to get most coverage

Bayou: oh yeah Yeah yeah I understand heh I just meant as a culture and our history in krillarney we don't really want to be reminded of those events......... yeah........

Cirrina:.. yeah I get that uhheh. .. . ........

Bayou: I like your tentacles. I like the ink color. Is it natural?

Cirrina: yeah actually this is my natural ink

Bayou: It's very beautiful. It reminds me of a sunrise

Cirrina: (blush).........thank you. I like yours too is it. It's a nice, deep blueish purple. It's a really pretty color

Bayou: oh thank you...

Pastor: dinner is ready!

Bayou: come on they're serving roasted snapper.

_______________________________________________

Friend 1: hello

Cirrina: hey girl

Friend 1: oh my cosh Cirrina! How's your trip abroad? What's the food like? How's the fashion? are the boys cute?

Cirrina: That's why I called you.....so there's this guy

Friend 1: I'm listening

Cirrina: He's super cute. His tentacles are like a dark bluish purple, he has a really nice smile....huuu...he smells like vanilla and honey! ahhhh! he's so charming I could die! He said my tentacles look like a sunrise

Friend: a romantic ohhhh and he likes you?

Friend 2: I thought you were dating Paul!

Cirrina: I'm not dating Paul!

Friend 2: well you said you liked Paul!

Cirrina: I can't like two guys?!

Friend 2: not when you know I like one of them!

Cirrina: how is that my problem?!

Friend 3: how tall is he

Cirrina: around 4'11

Friend 3: ohhhh he's short hehehe you should send a picture of him later

Cirrina: what are you guys even doing anyway

Friend 1: we're at Cassidy's place.

Cirrina: ew why are you at her place..... she's such a catty bitch

Friend 3: We're planning on seeing ink-fast together. Are you still going?

Cirrina: I don't know I still need money for tickets

Friend 1: well you better hurry up ticket sales start at the end of the month and they're probably going to be sold out by the time you get back. We might just go without you

Cirrina: (scoff)

Friend 2: so just being clear you don't like Paul?

Cirrina:...... Nina.......... I have to go. I need to go feed some calves

_______________________________________________

Ikkan: morning babe... yeah I'm about to head in for today. You found a best man?............oh she's a nice choice. Yeah I asked her why?.........well you should have asked first not my fault you procrastinate.....hehehe..... you'll be fine..... I'll see it on our wedding day. Yeah love you too..... yes.... I'm alone........... Neta......stop....*sigh*..hehe..... I'm wearing a black tank top and briefs. No I'm not the purple ones..... I'm wearing the Mr shrug ones........... what do you mean I ruined the vibe?!? Hehehehehe I'm hanging up... oh really what are you wearing?........take a pic, let me see........................ that's worse than what I'm wearing!........ because it has a hole in it!...

Warabie: HEY IKKAN!!

Ikkan: *gasp*. .. warabie knock! Cod!

Warabie: I.... I..... just wanted to ask.....if you're.... you're still planning on marrying Neta..... .. If.....if.... you're not willing I'd gladly take him..... I'd-I'd-I'd gladly take him if you don't want him

Ikkan: are you drunk?

Warabie: also what am I wearing as a groomsmen? Do we have to match? Can I pick out your suit? No offense but you have terrible taste

Ikkan: warabie go to sleep......how much did he drink?

Noiji: just 2 and a half pints he's a real light weight...... I put your two in the fridge

Ikkan: hm...... yeah I'm still here it's just warabie being a jackass..........*sigh*....... You know what we can do. We can watch a movie like we used to do... Long distance movie night........ yeah I'm heading down stairs...... You got finnflex open?..... All right, I'm all set up too...... Let's put you on speaker......

Neta: All right, I got you on the speaker too. What do you want to watch? I was thinking of "the kraken 2 sunken ship"

Ikkan: they don't have that on finnflex krillarney.

Neta: fuck. what do they have?

Ikkan: mostly documentaries

Nets: do they have wahoo land documentary? A big dream with with even bigger lawsuits?

Ikkan:.......... yeah

Neta: let's watch that one I heard someone actually fell off one of the coasters

Ikkan: wait we actually perform there in the grand opening I think Murasaki is in this.

Warabie: can I watch with yooooooooou? *Boop*

Ikkan: No fuck off

Warabie: I don't like it when you're so mean to me!

Ikkan: and I don't like it when you hit on my boyfriend but we can't get what we want all the time can we? Go upstairs!......... sorry

Neta: It's fine. I have my own personal nuisance with me

Mahi: why are you up so early! It's 5am!

Neta: Don't you have like college to go to or some shit? Leave me alone. I'm on a date!.... Okay, let's watch the documentary

_______________________________________________

Mahi go home already @fish-at-fish-fish-resort

[singlethread]

Really funny that in another universe my dads last words might’ve been “what are you gonna do, shoot me?”

[bingobongobonko]

yes he's 4'11 but also i think its funny as fuck if he seemed even shorter than he actually is cuz augustus is a sloucher

[dea011]

twt is no fun w out tags. how am i supposed to say out in the open that im late in posting because i both missed a psychiatrist appointment and shes ghosting me???

[dyed-indigo]

saw this post, immediately drew crusker as horses. wahoo!

[pleuvoire]

not the first time i have seen this post but definitely the first time i have read "fog of war in the grocery store" to the tune of personal jesus without even meaning to

[candlewitches]

cannot sleep mostly because of pain but also bc i am still full of rage at the former (and now current again LMAO) execs of my former larp. like literally. “i can excuse (alleged) mismanagement, fraud, and embezzlement, but i draw the line at a sternly worded announcement”

[rosewaterconley]

thinkin about the "fashion paradox" clothing store from the book of the war. they still around these days? I bet they made a killing selling masks during the pandemic. once rainbow capitalism hit d'you think they started selling shirts like "fashion paradox: we're here, get used to it". also obverse should bring back that tagline it was fun