#grief is hard

[legendofthe3divas]

i just really hope that people can take respect on Liams passing, and stop joking about it, like ‘he’s not in payne anymore, he took the wrong direction’. keep it to yourself. please.

someone has lost their dad, someone has lost their partner, someone has lost their son, someone has lost their friends, someone has lost their idol. be respectful and thoughtful of the pain they are going through. the grief. joking about it will make it worse for them and is very rude.

[hyperfixating-rn-brb]

my bowling coach passed yesterday.

I was just with him. I'd spent the last three days with him, at tournaments. I have video of him and my teammates making fun of each other and yelling and laughing. not even 48 hours ago, we were laughing our way through a target, an IHOP, another bowling game.

and now he's gone. a friend texted me about it this morning. I thought they were joking. he couldn't possibly have just gone that quickly after he was fine.

I've spent the day with my team in a counselors office. we're all just dumbstruck. there's been tears. but oh, so much laughter. showing each other the pictures and videos we have of him from the last years that we've known him. sharing stories with those who weren't there this weekend to see his last days that we never would have known would be his last.

everything is static, fuzzy. underwater. it's numb and it's loud, and its entirely confusing and contradictory.

I've never lost anyone I've really known. a cat here, a great grandparent there. but him. he was so alive just two days ago and now he's gone.

im not sure where I am anymore.

[mermaidgirl30]

Thank you for all the kind words for Biscuit, that means so much to me 🥹 He is at home resting, so we will spend however many days we have left with him and give him all the love and cuddles. I took the day off to spend with him, and I’m just gonna have him on my lap while I write a little. I saw some new pics of Pedro, and that definitely cheered me up.

[thosearefuckingonions]

I really want to go back to my maladaptive daydream scenario of the up all night era album/music videos. I know I shouldn’t cause that’s probably a terrible coping mechanism. I want to see his face and hear his voice and have everything be okay.

[greenparker]

Andrew Garfield and elmo are ripping me apart right now talking about loss, why am I sobbing???????? AUSTIWHSJEVE

[davekitties]

I was close by (dropping off a friend who came with me to run some errands and get signed up for my new job), so I stopped by the cemetery where Nick is buried. there was a little dog barking at me, aggressively, from 15 feet away the whole time I was there, so I didn't stay long. I just miss him so much 💙

[abby-unscripted]

To my soul cat, I love you forever until we hopefully meet again. 2007 - 2023 🐾

[tcfkag]

There are times when I still think we may have been a bit crazy to move into a log cabin in farm country (in New England farm country that is, which actually means we’re only 15 minutes from the city I grew up in) but right now isn’t one of them.

I’m sitting in our living room that’s all decked out for the holiday, drinking hot chocolate with a crackling fire and this weekend we got to bring Peanut to do several things that I did at her age, including bringing her to the Zoo along with her Uncle and Gramp.

For those who know me in real life, you know it’s been a difficult time for us, and I am honestly dreading the holidays (the first ones without my Mom), but having these chances to create new traditions while also embracing some of the old is so special.

[sharloola]

you can die today

i promise it’s okay. i know it hurts, and you didn’t mean to get this sick. i know the lights are annoying and you don’t want to worry anyone. i know you can’t restart your own heart. so we can make a deal: you can die today if you come back tomorrow.

or next week, i don’t mind. just die today, and only today because we still have more to do. i know what we’re doing for your birthday and i might do something to make you proud. die today, if you must, i won’t cry. just don’t be gone when the seasons change. i told time to wait for us. i told the sun you’d be back. see? she’s waiting up there, in the sky. you can die today.

s.o.

[thelyd]

the crushing weight of grief over a long since passed loved one is really inconvenient for college study 0/10 do not recommend

[masoena]

That is a beautiful concept and collection of drawings. Not me sitting here crying. Will always miss you Dad.

tw: death

Have you had any visitors lately? ❣️

[captain-maws]

kinda realizing that i don't really know how to cope with loss

[midniallsnack]

hi! i am still sad about Liam. it comes in waves. it's hard some days to look at pictures of him smiling. i can't listen to If I Could Fly, and some songs are easier to listen to than others, but I tend to skip them now when they come on shuffle so i don't cry on my way to work. hope that helps

[firebonbon]

Idk why I feel guilty for missing you, but I do and I hope you’re doing okay 💜

[fanfoolishness]

Just losing my mind at the implications that the companions have all been trying to help Rook grieve Varric, and Rook doesn’t know

Emmrich, wise and long-familiar with grief, being told by Neve and Harding what happened; understanding why sometimes he overhears Rook’s muffled voice in the Infirmary, talking to no one. He takes Rook to the Memorial Gardens and mentions he talks to his parents, thinking Rook might be comfortable with the same. Rook lights candles and rings bells but Emmrich watches, sorrowed, to see Rook still seems in deep denial.

Neve takes Rook to the Wall of Light; a Shadow Dragon Rook knows just what this means but any Rook can understand the solemnity, the power of remembrance. Neve reenergizes Brom’s light and looks to Rook, hoping Rook will mention wanting to make one for Varric. Rook is kind and comforting to Neve, but Neve is lost in wondering why Rook doesn’t take the chance to open up. She can’t figure it. Maybe Rook just can’t face it, not yet. Maybe Rook does something privately. She isn’t sure but it nags at her.

Davrin’s not big on talking about feelings. He’d rather just move on. But he sees the way Rook seems a little hollow sometimes, a little distant; he sees how Rook takes so quickly to Assan. “Hey Rook,” he says, and invites them to come with him and Assan to safe places in Arlathan, where the woods are clean and green and growing, where real sunlight dapples through the trees. Rook always seems to love these outings, seems lighter afterwards. But Davrin feels a little confused in that Rook never seems to realize the outings are mostly for them.

Taash is another person not big on feelings. But they know how much feelings can twist you up and mess with your head. When Lace tells them about Varric they feel badly for Rook, and think to how they feel when they’re struggling. Epic fights, dragon fights, drinks with the Lords. Taash is perfectly capable of doing all that on their own. But maybe bringing Rook along will help get them out of their head a little bit. Does it help? Taash isn’t sure.

Bellara’s double-versed in grief after what happens to Cyrian. Rook helped her through trying to reach him, and Bellara wonders, in her own pain, if she can help Rook a little bit too. Especially if Rook is elven, teaching Rook about the braziers and the challenges is another tool she can share about her or their people, another way that might help Rook with their grief. Neve’s told her that the Wall of Light didn’t seem to help Rook much, but maybe a different funeral tradition could help them instead. Rook helps her light the braziers and Bellara feels her heart lightening, though she wonders at Rook, who seems more moved by Bellara’s reactions than anything else.

Lucanis is nearly as allergic to dealing with feelings as Davrin is, but he immediately clocks how Neve and Harding are acting, and asks what happened before he joined them. They tell him about Varric and that they’re worried about Rook, that Rook seems to just be shoving those feelings down without dealing with them. Lucanis is no stranger to that, but while it’s fine for him, he doesn’t want to see someone who risked their life to save him share that struggle. He brings Rook to Caterina’s funeral planning to show Rook it’s okay to admit the loss and honor it. When that doesn’t seem to make a dent, he falls back to his standard - lavish meals, small gifts, coffee. He knows it would help him. He just wishes it helped Rook too.

Lace hurts the worst after losing Varric and Lace is where Solas’ magic comes the closest to faltering. Rook can see Lace is down, she’s quiet, she’s afraid after what happens with the gods escaping; but Solas’ magic holds and Rook can still never see quite why. Lace would love to sit over drinks one night and share stories about Varric, but she sees that Rook doesn’t seem ready, and she doesn’t want to push. Instead she writes letters to Ma, to the Inquisitor, to Cassandra, to Aveline, maybe even to Hawke. She writes out her stories with Varric’s old quill and she carries a bolt of Bianca with her. A dozen times she goes to talk to Rook about him, and when she tries Rook turns away or changes the subject. It hurts, but Lace knows she can’t make Rook talk about him, and she hopes in time it will get better.

This just absolutely crushes me the more I think about it 😭

Edit: Varric’s death is Rook’s personal companion quest every other single companion tries to help them with, and can’t 😭😭😭

[froginthestars]

just to say something if that one girl at my school looks my way with one of her “ I pity this must be so hard I am so so sorry look” and goes to take me in her arms one more time when I never asked for any of it I will go insane and maybe even violent