#grian was a worm at one point

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

Another little au snippet by me

cw: major character death, extreme body horror, gore, insects / parasites / worms, animal death, thalassophobia, fucked up creatures and monsters

When Grian dies, Scar is expected to mourn. He is not exactly the mourning type, and he doesn’t think Grian would want him to be. 

He is, however, the necromancy type. And he’s sure that’s why Grian married him, anyway, so anyone who tries to tell him this isn’t what she would have wanted is completely wrong.

It takes a bit of effort, and a lot of reading, which he hates, but eventually he figures it out. So what if it’s extremely illegal and dangerous? He’s not just going to let his wife rot in the ground like some dead thing. She’s not dead because he said so.

With a book in his hand, the world splits in front of him like thick, yellow belly fat under a curved blade. A dead rabbit bleeds into the earth, red staining his boots, and before him, the gateway to the world of magic shines with bright, delicate energy.

There, inside the magic realm, he meets gods who say they will bring his Grian back. They help him navigate the impossible, and offer a trade of sorts. A sacrifice. It’s easy to agree. All they want is precious metal, and Scar has plenty lying about.

So, without much trouble at all, Grian comes back. She’s… a little shaken up, but overall quite happy to be alive again. It is a shame that she can’t really leave their house - a quaint little cottage in the woods - but Scar makes up for it by giving her all the affection in the world. And she still smiles the same as she always used to. 

He does have to continue the sacrifices, which means more trips to the magic realm. Sometimes this means animals, sometimes food, sometimes gemstones and gold. He steals the beautiful jewelry he once bought Grian, then their wedding silver, and bizarrely, photographs of them together. 

And he doesn’t tell Grian, but he’s certain she knows. Yet, he doesn’t want to talk about it. What he’s been doing. What he’s seen in that place where reality no longer makes sense.

Within the magic realm there are monsters and psychological terrors that mess with your mind and make everything seem like it’s been turned inside out. Like the world has been gutted and is bleeding all over itself. The creatures are horrific and ravenous, the things that look like people are faceless shadows that consume whatever they touch, and still somehow seem to be looking at you. 

A constant feeling of being watched causes paranoia and anxiety. There is no water, only rivers that run with red tar, and rain that falls like thick, glossy blood. There are beings who can render you non-existent in a matter of seconds, crushing all of the atoms from your body into nothing before you can even understand what's happening. There are extreme changes in atmosphere and pressure, threatening to pull your insides outward if you take a step too soon. 

Empty valleys that drop off sharply into a deep, deep abyss crowded with swirling, ghostly serpents. Trees that tower up high into the misty sky, so far and so grand they make you feel impossibly small. And in the distance, through the fog, something even larger moves its shambling, dripping limbs towards you. 

Massive insectoid creatures, bodies twitching, jumbled, wet messes of flesh, thousands of legs outstretched ready to grip onto the nearest surface and bite. Worms writhing in colourful dirt, looking for a patch of exposed skin to burrow under, parasitic eggs ready to be laid. Deer with razor-sharp antlers stained a rusty blue, and empty eye holes covering their backs, walking on six mangled legs each.

Territorial beasts, sneaking demons, the very environment itself is hostile. Hostile to any sane mortal wishing to penetrate its dense wilderness. To reach any godly shrine or mystical water of life. 

Scar is guided, and lucky, because he is there for a deal, but he has to learn how to survive like anyone else. And it's a sharp, severe, learning curve.

There are people here, Scar thinks. He hears them before he sees them, his third or fourth time entering the maze of jungle and bone. There is a sort of screaming, gurgling sound that could have maybe been human, once. 

It disturbs him for weeks, keeping him up at night despite never once seeing the poor soul behind the strange sound. 

Later, much later, while bringing the last of his wedding jewelry to the gods in the forest, he stumbles upon them. Or, some of them. He presumes there are more. Somewhere else deep in the sprawling realm. 

Strung up between the branches of trees and jagged spikes of rock are four, or five, things that might have been humans. Some, what scar would assume are the lucky ones, are held there splayed out by something akin to rope, twisting into and under their skin and wrapping around their splintered bones. The others are held up by their own entrails, their intestines opened up and unravelled like vines to keep them in place. 

They do not look like people anymore, but they are still screaming. Screaming in deranged, wet tones. One, the one closest to Scar as he walked into the scene, is a sort of mangled, degloved, fleshy thing, their body more a slab of meat than anything remotely humanoid. 

Where arms and legs may have once been, there are stubs of rancid, rotting carnage, which exudes a thick yellow fluid onto the ground below the suspended body. In their stomach cavity, worms and parasites writhe grotesquely, so multitudinous they can barely be distinguished from the body's own flesh. They have no face, a sliver that might be a mouth, and blank, empty holes where eyes could have been, all infested with more disgusting creatures. 

The worst part, scar thinks, is that they seem aware, whining and wailing around the maggots. How they remained alive, Scar has no idea. 

The other bodies are not much better off. Some still have limbs and faces, but they are so distorted and jumbled together they aren't distinguishable as individuals. The ones with skin are covered in legions, scratches, and bile, the skin itself rubbery and overstretched. 

Each of the bodies moan and sob torturously, and yet Scar can't bear to look away. Or help. Or move. How would he help them? How could he? 

Then, the thought catches up with him that something must have done this to these people. These things were human once, like him. And perhaps if it comes back, it will catch him and torture him all the same. 

Guilt wells up in his throat when he turns to leave, the weight of the golden necklace in his pocket like lead. He could wish for these people to be made whole again. To be freed and set out back into the natural world. He could help them. He could use this sacrifice for good, rather than greed. 

And as always, his mind wanders back to Grian. Grian, who won't talk about the afterlife. Who refuses to eat most days, despite being fully able to. Who Scar has found vomiting into the toilet, or rocking back and forth with hands in her hair, in the middle of the night. Who simply is not the same as she was, even though she's trying so hard. 

He thinks this might not be a realm of magic at all. He thinks it might be Hell.

It's then that scar's mind is made up, and it's then that he decides to stop thinking about the people in the forest, however many there might be. Because he can't sacrifice Grian, of all things. He can't bring her here. He refuses. 

And so, he continues, out to find god.

[ty-bayonet-betteridge]

3l!grian is frequently depicted as a tragic figure and sometimes i wonder if we even watched the same series

[watarfallar]

Still got the brain worms

Grian: Are you good? Scar: In what sense? Grian: Generally. Scar: Oh, definitely not.

Scar: Wait you like me? For my personality? Grian: I know, I was surprised too.

Grian: I'm not mean. Name one mean thing I’ve ever done. Scar: When we were younger, you convinced me eggs weren't real. Grian: They're not. Scar: Haha, very funny. Grian: I'm serious. Didn't you hear? Scar: No… what happened? Grian: …Why would you fall for this again-

Grian: Why are you on fire? Scar: This is just how my day is going.

Grian: DID YOU REALLY THINK THAT JOKE WAS FUNNY? IT WASNT. NOBODY IS LAUGHING. Grian: pulls up a graph THIS IS WHEN YOU TOLD YOUR JOKE, YOU HAVE SINGLE HANDEDLY RUINED COMEDY! IVE ALSO ASKED MANY COMEDY SCHOLARS ON THEIR OPINION OF YOUR JOKE AND THIS IS WHAT THEY HAD TO SAY! Scar: I've been researching comedy for the past 20 years, and I have genuinely never seen a joke this bad. We have used quantum physics to look into alternate universes to see every joke made, and yours was still by far the worst. Grian: CONGRATULATIONS! YOUVE SINGLE HANDEDLY CREATED THE WORST JOKE IN HUMAN HISTORY! HERES A MEDAL! pulls up a horrible ms paint drawn star that says "you need help

Grian: I believe in you, Scar! Scar, to themself: God, I must suck. The nicest thing Grian can think to say to me is that they don’t doubt my existence.

Grian: Last night, I had a dream about sandwich pizza. Scar: What? Grian: It was pizza with bread on the top and the bottom. Scar: So a calzone? Grian: You can’t just name things I dream up.

Scar: Good morning! Grian: Is it? Is it really?

Scar: Grian just said "I have an appetite for destruction" and then they reached down and untied my shoe.

Grian: But that’s censorship. Scar: Well done. You are correct. You’re being censored. Now go.

Scar: So I was just having a conversation with Grian about Star Wars; particularly, about the choice of architecture. The amount of people who die from falling down bottomless pits is TOO DAMN HIGH! Like, who designs architecture like this? Catwalks with no guard rails whatsoever, just zigging and zagging through enormous voids. Giant holes to nowhere! Grian: It's by design. It's a cleaner look, for a more elegant time. Scar: Like… who the fuck put this hole here???? And why???? Grian: Exhaust? Scar: Darth Maul falls down a hole, Palpatine falls down a hole, Solo falls down a hole, everyone falls down a hole! Star Wars universe needs OSHA. Grian: Luke falls down a hole, Boba Fett falls down a hole… Scar: Yes, yes, I forgot about those! R2-D2 falls down a hole in the Millenium Falcon after he fixes the hyperdrive. Grian: We're onto something here! Scar: Obi-Wan almost falls down a hole. Grian: C-3PO falls off the barge into the sand. Pretty close to falling down a hole. Scar: His lightsaber does though. Grian thinks hard about what other Star Wars Characters fall down holes Scar: What if the hole is symbolic? The hole represents the dark side. Grian: Nah, doesn't work. Luke chooses to fall down the hole instead of joining Vader/The Dark Side. Scar: Fair point.

Grian: How long do you think it'll take? Scar: I don’t know, three or four. Grian: Three or four what? Days? Weeks? Months? Scar: Yeah, maybe five. Grian: Five what?!

Scar: Ah shit, I forgot. Grian: Forgot what? Scar: How do you expect me to answer that?

Scar: Why do you think I don’t like you? I do. I would kill for you. Scar: Ask me to kill for you. Grian: …First of all, calm down-

Grian: Being half asleep and feeling someone gently plant a kiss on your forehead is one of the purest kinds of love in the world. Scar: Unless you're home alone.

Scar: My goal is not to be the best, but to inspire someone enough to one day surpass me. Grian: YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT EVERY TIME YOU BEAT ME AT CONNECT FOUR!

Grian: Act natural. Scar: For this kind of situation, the most natural thing would be to panic, so technically I can panic. Grian: NO, that’s not what I meant! Act like it’s a normal day! Scar: My ‘normal’ days of late, consist of a lot of panic. Grian: Will you just cooperate? Scar: When a person is panicking, they are not apt to cooperate very well!

Scar: venting endlessly to Grian about their week Grian, every once in a while: in a monotone Wow, that is so wild.

Grian: A banker? Me? Scar: Yes, Grian. Grian: But I don’t know anything about running a bank! Scar: Good. No preconceived ideas. Grian: I’ve robbed banks! Scar: Capital! Just reverse your thinking. The money should be on the inside.

At the police station Scar: Hi, I’m here for Grian. Police officer: Who’s Grian? Scar: Ah, you must be new.

[fr-likes-chocolate]

My sibling headcannon has started to grow…

So it starts with the OG 5, Philza Martyn Pearl Jimmy Grian. They are all biological siblings.

Then one day Phil stumbles across Technoblade, and they become instant best friends, then they become brothers in arms. Techno slowly worms himself into the family and everyone is glad to have him.

Then during empires season one, Jimmy gets close to Lizzie. Pearl agrees that Lizzie is sister material, and after speaking to the other siblings they agree to make her their sister.

Joel is now brother in law whether he likes it or not.

One day False decides to follow Grian and Pearl off the server to a meetup with Martyn and Jimmy. That was her mistake because they almost immediately assimilated her into the family.

Eventually Techno and Phil bring along Tommy to one of the family events (there's no way in hell they are leaving Tommy with a certain green bastard whaile they are gone) Tommy just slowly charms the other siblings and they ask to have him come for the next family event.

Evbo is also there. No one invited him, no one knows how he got in. He is just simply there and no one had the heart to kick him out.

At this point in time the family consists of: Philza, Martyn, Technoblade, Grian, False, Tommy, Pearl, Evbo, Jimmy, Lizzie, and brother in law Joel.

Half of the family isn't related by blood and I havent even talked about kids and only mentioned Joel for spouses

[izelthewashbear]

Okay so why do I think Ren is represented by Uranus (or the uRENus theory):

At the moment I'm writing this we don't know the winner of Wild Life yet. I'm just noting down my points. If you have any suggestions or points of your own add them!

1. The astrological traits of Uranus

Some of the traits connected to Uranus in the astrological sense: ingeniuity, innovation, unpredictability, imaginativity, sociability, boldness, freedom, rebellion. If this doesn't describe Ren, I don't know what does.

2. Uranus is named after the greek god Ouranos or Uranos, being the god of the sky and was one of the first primodial gods, as well as a father to twelve Titans, as well as other mythical beings as cyclops. If we take Uranos's role as the god of sky as a position of power, we could link it to Ren's position of power as the king.

I know this one is a little flimsy but I think it still somewhat works, + I'm sure you guys can find something more

3. I have two connections between Uranus and Ren when it comes to astronomy.

a) Uranus is a little rebel when it comes to orbiting the Sun. All the planets orbit the Sun in a counter-clockwise direction and rotate on their axis counterclockwise - with the two exceptions being Venus (who I also think could be ascribed to Ren but that's a whole other can of worms) and Uranus. Uranus actually spins on its side, with a tilt of almost 98 degrees. I can't help but see this and think of Ren who likes breaking the rules, like having a green name kill him so that he becomes red and can kill other players. A stretch? Maybe. Do I think it works? Yeaaaah

b) Uranus is one of the furthest planets from the Sun - which, as we know, represents Grian - someone who's Ren had a rivalry with pretty much every season in one way or another. Not to mention, it's much closer to Mars (Martyn) with only Jupiter and Saturn being in the way - and that's also besides the point, but I could totally see Jupiter representing the Watchers. It couuuuld also work with Ren but I don't like it as much

4. Astrological symbol for Uranus:

There are two symbols, but this one is more interesting in terms of this theory. This symbol is actually a combination of two others - the symbol of Sun (who, I mentioned, is Grian - as both Ren's rival and the runner of Life) and Mars - to be exact, Mars' spear. This even more points to Martyn as his hand, his weapon, his implement.

5. The name. Like c'mon. Imagine if this whole astrology symbolism is something that the Watchers came up with, and the moment they call Ren 'Uranus', he's on the floor giggling like a little kid. He'd 100% do that.

There's only one point I struggle with a little, as I feel like my interpretation is a bit of a stretch - and that is the color symbolism. Ren is obviously closely tied to the color red - as the Red king and not only. At the same time, Uranus is blue - and these are completely opposite colors. The one solution I personally see is that if Ren actually wins, he does that to avenge his fallen friend, his knight, his love he hasn't seen in ages - so obviously, getting to see him after so long only to lose him would fill him with grief. Despair. He'd feel blue, if you will.

Am I being stupid? Yeah

Am I having fun? Hell yeah

[blueishspace]

Hero, Villain God 43

(Prev) (Next) (First)

*Grian's (Mother Spore) pov*

You think you gained some kind of understanding of what they are talking about trough just context clues. They talk about it like It's common knowledge so you have to guess on what they are discussing.

In short these guys want to fight this weird egg themed cult., the villains all seem to dislike the egg cult people for some reason....It's just...a whole lot of missing information they aren't sharing.

You do try to think about who this egg could be... The blood god would never stoop so low as to take the shape of an egg, neither would Exor or Shad... You come up empty, either this egg tging isn't actually a god or it must be one you never really cared about knowing in the past, either way you don't see why everyone hates these people.

Now, you thought it was time for the plan to be explained but no, of course not. Despite everyone having shared how much they hate this egg they still need to discuss payments and favours and other stuff that doesn't matter. You get it, humans are greedy or whatever but come on! You thought this was going to be fun! And you can't even lament about it vocally because Mother Spore is supposed to be silent and mysterious. Xonorth though...he's the worst offender, while the others take little time to convince he just keeps wanting more.

At least the whole stealth operation with Poultryman is just about to start, at least.

*Grian's (Poultryman) pov*

Flame motions towards you and the other two, he points to the ground and you land, you aren't at Las Nevadas yet but you are close.

"Does everyone remember the plan?"

...

You raise your hand. "I wasn't told anything."

"Right, I knew I was forgetting something. We aren't going to just walk in the casino. That's stupid."

You expected that, from what you have seen as Mother Spore the main entrance is under close surveilance.

"I came up with the plan!" Worm man shouts before Seraphin places his hands on his mouth.

"Yes you did. We are going to go through the vents, they aren't big so we'll have to crawl..."

"Hmpfffg"

"... Seraphin, let him go."

You feel a bit like a fourth wheel.

...

Wait they want you to crawl in what now?

"Why the vents"

"Easier, plus we get to listenificate in to the meeting."

"That's... alright."

"Well then, let's go!"

*Grian's pov*

After the last movie's credits Scar suddenly got a message and excused himself for a few minutes.

As soon as came back he started saying you had to go and make excuses for the two of you two leave early, Pearl sent you a look but didn't say anything...You decided to not fight it, you were sure he had his reasons, so with Pearl and the others waving you away the two of you quickly gathered your belongings and left in a hurry.

As soon as you leave the apartment he quite literally deflates and his smile wavers.

"Scar, what was that abou-"

"Not here! Just...let's get somewhere else first!"

He's desperate and flustered and something is definitely up.

"... o ... k?"

And so you let him lead you to an empty street and wait for him to check around for anyone that might be near.

"So?"

"The association wants Hotguy and Cuteguy...now"

Huh that's unexpected, what could it possibly be for? You hope It's not near Las Nevadas.

" . . . Why?"

"Someone saw Poultryman, Flame, Seraphin and Worm man near Las Nevadas. They sent us both to catch them"

Oh this is ... Of course It's Las Nevadas, you shouldn't have hoped. You are going to fight yourself fighting yourself, that's going to be something... You do wonder how you were seen at all though, you were sure Flame and the others had been extremely careful about not being seen.

Wait one moment, what does he mean they want Cuteguy??? You aren't even allowed to go out as Cuteguy!

"I thought I wasn't allowed to go out as Cute guy yet"

"I thought so too... They didn't really explain what changed, that just said that things have changed"

"Well then we have no time to waste do we?"

"No...no we don't."

...Wait.

"Weren't they supposed to give me like...a hero outfit or something?"

"Cub is working on one but it's not ready since you weren't...supposed to go out this soon."

"And I'm guessing It's not going to be done in a short amount of time"

"Probably not..."

"Great... We'll have to put something together in- ... how long until we have to leave?"

"Half an hour, at most."

That's literally nothing, were you a mortal and this would have become a disaster. The hero association should have circus music as their theme song.

"I'll figure it out just... go back to the tower and get your stuff together and we meet up back in half an hour"

[t4t4tclethian]

The moment Joel realizes he has a crush on xB is, objectively, quite a funny one. He’d almost certainly be laughing about it if it had been anyone else. As it is, though, he’s hopping mad, extremely indignant, and deeply embarrassed about the whole thing. Who ever heard of a hitman falling for their mark? (Well, a lot of people have- it’s a whole romance cliche for a reason. But it wasn’t supposed to actually happen!)

(ao3 link)

————————————————

It had all started a few days earlier, when Joel had been hanging out with the other Magical Mountaineers in the breakroom. Gem and Impulse were poring over some papers together, Skizz was on a phone call in the corner, Mumbo was politely watching as Scar fumbled through some magic tricks, and Grian was sitting on the couch with Joel, listening to him rant about his failures at killing xB (he’d drawn the short straw). Everything was normal.

And then, when Joel paused his tirade to take a breath, Grian said those fatal words. “From the way you talk about this guy, Joel, it’s almost like you’ve got a crush on the mark!”

Which was ridiculous, of course! He does blummin’ not, thank you! His relationship with xB was a perfectly platonic contract killing, and Joel is a professional! He knows better than to fall for his target, and he indignantly tells Grian as much.

But, of course, Grian is Grian, and the second he senses he’s touched a nerve he doubles down. And so he did.

“Contract killing? Give me a break, Joel! Your contract on this guy expired ages ago, and you’re not the type to work for free.” Grian’s eyes twinkled with mischief as he continued to needle at Joel. “Admit it, there’s something else going on here, isn’t there?”

Joel spluttered, and took a deep breath as he glanced around the room. Fuck. Everyone had stopped what they were doing to listen in on him and Grian now. He had to say something to throw them off or he would never be able to live this conversation down.

“My contract might be done, but unlike some people I finish the things I start, thank you very much!”

Grian squawked in indignation, and as he did so the others chuckled and turned back to their own conversations, unfounded accusations of romance forgotten. Grian’s tendency to leave things unfinished was well-known, and something that every assassin at Magic Mountain had teased him over many times.

But that thought refused to leave his brain. It had wiggled its way in like a worm. Did he have a crush on xB? Is that why he kept coming back when any sane person would’ve just given it up already? And the answer, of course, is no. All of Joel’s actions here have perfectly reasonable and professional explanations.

————————————————————

Joel waits patiently on the rooftop across from Horse Head Farmer’s Market (which, despite the name, is actually a grocery store/money laundering scheme, not a farmer’s market), rifle at the ready, just as he has been for the past three and a half hours. You can’t rush a good sniping, after all, and xB’s schedule varies enough that Joel’s never quite sure when he’ll head out for lunch. (He’s pretty sure xB has done this specifically to spite Joel- the guy’s obsessed with him.)

Yes! Finally! xB steps out of the store, starts walking down the street, and- turns to look at Joel’s rooftop, makes direct eye contact with him, and gives him a friendly little wave, the infuriatingly sincere kind that makes Joel want to kill him even more. Dammit. He’s been caught. Also, wow, even from here Joel is a little wowed by how blue xB’s eyes are. Or maybe he’s just remembering how they look, because there’s no way Joel can actually see his eyes from here. They are definitely a very nice blue, though, and oh, huh, Joel realizes that Lizzie has blue eyes, too. Maybe he’s got a thing for blue-eyed people, and- OH SHIT RIGHT HE’S KILLING THIS GUY.

Joel fires, because even if he’s been discovered a vantage point is still a vantage point. Of course, xB somehow manages to not be in the bullet’s path, just like he always does, and then he gives Joel a disapproving look, like he’s actually disappointed Joel didn’t do a better job at trying to kill him.

God, he’s so cute, Joel’s brain has the audacity to think, like it’s trying to add insult to insult to injury. To Joel’s horror, he realizes in this moment that he’s had dozens, maybe even hundreds of thoughts like this, that just slipped through the cracks and went unnoticed.

Then, xB smiles at him again before heading on his way, and Joel falls off of the rooftop. He has time to think, Oh, I’m gonna kill Grian, as he plummets towards the ground. And then, everything goes dark, and he dies.

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

There's a secret Nether Hub for specific others. Ex set it up with a respawn point and a separate chat for what is basically his friend group.

Includes:

Evil X Himself (He's a voidwalker who made a deal with some vex. Skills: He has admin powers! Woo!)

True Symmetry ("reflection" of False. Mom friend. Skills: She can wreck your day in a fight)

BadTimeWithScar (undead cousin to Scar. Little grumpy. Skills: He invents potions)

NPG (Cyborg Little Guy that Grian Made. Skills: Cooking. He's one of the only members who can)

Robo!Grian (Creation of Grian. Skills: he made the houses everyone stays in and the plaza)

Zedeath (A grim reaper that hands around for tea. Skills: He gets things from off server for the group)

Grimdog (A Grim reaper that plays guitar. Skills: He trapped some Hoglins so they can have endless pork. Other than that, he mostly just lazes about and keeps a protective watch over NPG and Robo, who aren't very strong)

Dr. Tagno (A blaze hybrid that has an inferiority complex that he hides with a superiority complex. Skills: He is the only one that has even the slightest clue how Redstone works)

AriesEva (A ram girl who knows GeminiTay. Skills: She takes care of plants and plant decor around the Nether group)

Helsknight (A grumpy half demon, half elf that is annoyed with his older brother Wels. Skills: He can fight. Slight anger issues)

Hermit alters meetup! Do you think they'll accept Worm Man? EX was his sidekick before....

-Mod Mleem

[life-winners-liveblog]

Watching Last Life- session 6

Part 3

Scar: Other me! Yeah!

Grian: ...yup.

Martyn: I don't trust it.

Pearl: Last Life Scar sounds a bit ...tense...

~~~~

Martyn: I guess I was wrong, Scar isn't boogeyman number 230. Surprising.

Pearl: I guess him being tense is just...him being him?

Scar: That's...accurate. I would know...he's me.

Grian: The fact that him not being the boogey is more shocking than if he was says a lot.

~~~~~

Martyn: So, you were definitely trying to keep Scar isolated.

Scott: What no! Pearl, did you hear what he said-

Pearl: I mean... I hate it but I sorta agree with him, you HAVE been trying to keep him from his allies everytime you met him. I am know it wasn't intentional... I hope.

Scar: He did?!?

Scott: I...did?????? Wha-what? When?!

Martyn: All of those "but we were the only one nice to you" and "you can't trust them", siccing him on other people, and now you convinced him to shoot his own allies.

Scar: You are...or you were...actively sabotaging other mes chances of not being alone... why?

Scott: I didn't d- oh...oh dear Aeor... I did. I didn't... I didn't mean to... I am so sorry Scar I know It's-

Grian: Stop this all of you! Scott didn't lie to Scar when he said all of that now, did he? Other me was never a trustworthy ally and neither was Joel anyone could see that. And would any of you say you wouldn't have lied about the enchanter too?

Martyn: Well, I for one, didn't say it was a bad thing.

~~~~~

Grian: And of course now that I mentioned other me he's at your base again, of course. At this point I'm just used to this other version of me being a glorified mole...or a worm

Scar: Nothing wrong with being a worm! You could go underground and dig tunnels and go around on loop.

Grian: Why ...why would I ever want to do that?

Scar: I mean, I don't judge.

Grian: You were litterally the one to propose it in the first plac- *sigh* just... nevermind, let's just...go on...and not mention this again.

Scar: Would you still like me if I was a worm?

Grian: ...

Scar: ...?

Grian: What.

~~~~~

Grian: How bad from 1-10 was other me and Impulse stealing the wither skull for Last Life?

Scott: Hmmm from 1 to a 10? Let's see... If I had to guess probably a 14.

Grian: Fun.

Scott: Oh it wasn't.

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[mochiwrites]

Hello! Secret Husbands questions here:

What was their first anniversary?

Is their favorite restaurant the one Scar got them in for free at?

Did Grian ask Jellie permission in secret to marry scar (since he also planned on proposing)

Do they have any anniversary traditions?

You gave me brain worms my good person

yippee secret husbands questions!!! ;w; I’ve been thinking about them a lot lately

their first anniversary!! hmmmm. I’ll give an answer for their wedding anniversary And their first full year of dating anniversary as well because I think both are really sweet 🥺

starting with their one year!!! between the two of them, I feel like scar is the more likely one to really make sure they celebrate it. ofc the anniversary is important to grian as well, but scar goes the extra step. so their one year comes around and scar does the Cheesiest candlelight dinner ever. grian gets back from work and all the lights in the apartment are off, candles are set on the table, and scar greets him there, dressed in the nicest clothes he has. grian is Extremely confused but scar doesn’t answer any questions. just gives him this big grin and tells him he took out some clothes for him to change into. cue the most romantic night ever

now. wedding anniversary.

scar plans this whole day for them. their anniversary falls on the weekend, and he’s been putting funds aside to do something. it starts with breakfast in bed (jellie tries to run off with one of grian’s waffles), and moves to scar taking him to do something in town. after that it’s a fancy restaurant (the same one they went to when they first met) and back home for some down time and snuggles. I think at one point scar takes grian’s hand, the one with his wedding ring, and kisses the ring with this incredibly loving expression and, “happy one year, mr. goodtimes.” grian playfully huffs and calls him a sap before actually kissing him

for their favorite restaurant, I’m really tied between it being that first place scar got them into Or it being one of those places where like. the food isn’t all that great, but it’s the closest to the apartment and they go there whenever one of them has a Horrible day and it’s comfort for them. they have a lot of memories tied to that place (oooooo don’t think about scar visiting that less than great restaurant one (1) time while grian is missing…. the owner recognizes him because he and grian were regulars. scar can’t sit down and Actually eat because the pain is too great. he has to take it home and breaks down. he can’t go there again. not until grian is home)

I think grian 100% asked jellie for her blessing <3

anniversary traditions!! 🥺 there’s three big ones that come to mind: breakfast in bed, dinner at the restaurant scar got them into, and a slow dance in their kitchen to the song they picked for their wedding to end the day ;w;

you’re very welcome for the brain worms hehe

[megabuild]

so you like transfem etho right? how do you think she figured it out?

did pause call her a girl once and etho decided she liked it or was there more thought involved

i don't think she ever "figured it out" in the way most people would but that's mainly because i see etho as having a very weird upbringing. she was very lonely as a child and didn't really start meeting people from wider society who treated her like a human but also would inflict gender roles on her until mindcrack when she was like... mid 20s. and yeah there definitely was a bit of teasing there but i don't think it really awakened anything in her more just confused her. if you pushed him about a bit and called him a girl insultingly he'd be like ? No I'm not. Because he has lived so far detached from society he can't even conceptualise the idea of feminity being a "weakness" yet #feminist but also he was raised to play very particular roles and wear very particular masks and girl is not and never has been one of them, he is a Guy, theres no questioning that.

But then yeah of course there is because she leaves mindcrack on pretty bad terms and spends some short time alone before she gets pulled onto hermitcraft and while she's sitting alone she does eventually realise oh, people can do that, people can change. And that fucking terrifies her, so much, because she already has horrible identity issues and doesn't really fully understand it so to her it's an all or nothing 100% change of self, and that's sort of awesome in a way but also really scary because that means rejecting literally everything about herself both past and present and she goes AHHHH FUCK and puts that back in the box and then xisuma recruits her like at the end of iron man when they were setting up the avengers movie. And she goes to hermitcraft and doesn't think about any of that for a really long time despite the never ending horrors happening all the time.

In my head he sort of. Doesn't Get Over It but he comes to terms with all the weird shit that happened to him when he was younger re: 404 and the LP between HC 5 and 7 like he was away on a soul searching mission. And then HC7 has its own fresh nightmares as he comes to terms with HC5 because that was a can of worms itself but this time the difference is that he has friends around him who gets it and can help him. And this is roundabout the time she starts to think about it more because she gets quite close to grian post-mycelium resistance and grian is a trans girl who takes estrogen and everything which is like, everything etho was terrified of, and they have some very clumsy and candid conversations where grian is definitely Not the best person to talk to because she's like well you're fucking stupid. But after talking to her and maybe cleo a bit too though idk if they would have been close enough at that point and bdubs too because while he doesn't know anything about this he knows a lot about etho, she eventually realises wow this doesn't have to be a new mask or a massive upheaval this is just something i can try out on the side if i like it. And so she does! Originally just with her absolute closest friends using she/her sometimes (she ends up using he/she alternately, because she doesn't really have any problem with he/him) and while she never formally Comes Out because that's not her style it spreads until most people use it.

Etho is very much a character of certainty imo, he likes rigid ideas when it comes to himself so he knows what to live up to, so i think not making her label her gender (or sexuality except that's. A different can of worms albeit a slightly less complicated one) is a bit of a character growth thing as much as it is a personal decision. Learning he can not constantly stress over the finer details or try to live up to what others decide he should be whether that's a man or a woman or something else entirely and just accepting that she's herself, and that's her own choice, is a Big Thing for her. though i don't know if she recognises that .

[definitelynotshouting]

i literally can't stop rotating hunger au worldbuilding and lore in my head. forgive me if you've ever touched on this in an ask before, but... re: the existential horror of being a parasite that has the sense of self of the host it ate. if one of grian's friends ever did get taken and used as a watcher larva host. how do you think he would feel about the watcher that came out the other side? would he want to see them as still the same person as his friend, or...?

Ive been staring at this ask since i got it with like. I need you to picture the most comically heartbroken expression right now okay. like this is me reading that and thinking about it in great and terrible detail:

Gods he would be devastated if this ever happened. He knows what thats like. He knows just how much it hurts-- and that its not a hurt that can be quantified, because its just that intense, that scalding, that encompassing of an experience to go through. I think, genuinely, Grian would be so utterly horrified and grief-stricken for whichever friend went through the Watcherification process that it would trump every other potential feeling on the list

But i think, ultimately, he would still view them as his friend, and treat them in the same way. There's a little bit of hypocrisy in Grian's character that i enjoy engaging with while writing him, and a good part of that in hunger au is centered around how he's firmly designated himself as the monster, and everybody else is the victim, and theres no room for nuance because he sucks and theyre the only people who are valid. When in reality, yes he hurt them, yes he did terrible and invasive things, but he did them out of pure survival rather than maliciousness, and that does make a subtle difference. And... hes not the only one who has fucked up, either!! The entire point of hunger au is how everyone has fumbled the bag in various ways and now they're all trying to clean it up together. Its just, yknow, Grian is so wrapped up in his own pain that he cant see those grey areas yet

And the thing is, if one of his friends got Watchered™, so to speak, and was standing in front of him, i think he would treat them with SO much compassion. Theyve been through possibly the worst thing anyone can experience and come out the other side-- at his core, Grian is i think a character who wants to do good, and do good by other people, and in this hypothetical that would translate into a lot of kindness he doesnt usually afford for himself. Honestly i think he'd spend the time trying to show them the ropes, get them set up in a better position than he found himself in, and provide his own fumbling emotional support as best he could, just out of sheer solidarity. Like, he gets it. He's been there. He may as well help out.

And i think he wouldnt even realize how hypocritical he's being until someone else pointed it out to him, about how he treats this friend with so much care but is simultaneously cruel to himself. I dont think he'd know how to handle that-- he's sort of dug himself a rut in the road with the way he thinks about and treats himself, and the cognitive dissonance would be really uncomfortable for him. Ultimately a good thing!!! Growth is often very uncomfortable. But imo Grian has a tendency to run from things like feelings of discomfort, so i think it'd take him a while to reconcile his previous ways of thinking with whats being presented in front of him essentially in the form of a mirror.

So uh. tl;dr: he'd be a little hypocrite about it and would feel a lot more compassionately inclined towards the friend than he does himself, and would try to help them out as best he could. Thank you for the incredible question that has given me the opportunity to rotate this worm at even higher speeds than usual inside my brainpan DKNFEKNDSKDJKDKD

[void-dwelling-snail]

Okay okay so. I think I really like doing song breakdowns and the wonderful @definitelynotshouting has said that I can do one for Grian from their hunger AU!!! Which btw if you guys haven’t seen,please go look at it. It's so cool like. I’m shaking it like a squeaky toy. Also its important to have the context of the AU for this so :3 Anyways!! The song is Abbey by Mitski and its so good and you should go listen to it right now! Okay moving one :3 yapping is below the cut so. Idk read if you wanna i have no clue how long this will be…

Starting with verse 1!!!! I am hungry,,I have been hungry,,I was born hungry,,What do I need?,,I am something,,I have been something,,I was born something,,What could I be? I’m literally kicking my feet and giggling because like. This is just so easy and it fits so well. Anyways. So with the first bit highlighted in red I interpreted it as ya know, grian being hungry. He has always been hungry. And i'd assume when he was “born” as a watcher he was pretty hungry. I mean breaking out of your mortal shell to become a practically immortal space worm has got to be hard work. Moving on to the blue highlighted bit ,,I am something,,I have been something,,I was born something,,What could I be? Well. I can only read this as Grian’s fractured mind simply trying to comprehend the space worm he’s become. He sure is something alright. I don’t think I can quite convey in words how much this song and this AU means to me in the sense that these two lining up makes me scream and cry with joy. The stars aligned.

Oki doki it's chorus time!! One bit about the chorus of this song is that the second chorus bit does have new lyrics so I will be going through it this time. I know I skipped the chorus after I did the first one in my othe song thing so I figured I'd let you guys know! Okay enough of my blabbing here’s the lyrics There is a light that I can see,,But only, it seems, when there's darkness in me,,There is a dream that I sometimes see,,That only appears in the dark of sleep okay. Starting with the orange bit, as of now I’m thinking it's about Scar. Here me out here me out. There is a light that I can see that has to be Scar! The light that only Grian can see cause he’s down bad for him! And as if to prove my point the next set of lyrics is But only, it seems, when there's darkness in me the darkness in him is his mental health. When he tried to kill himself (well I guess he didn’t technically try but he did take 3 weakness potions with the intent being weak enough for his friends to kill him but) in the beginning Scar was there and he was next to him when they tried to keep him awake. And Scar was there again later when Grian woke up. He was a constant light in Grian’s darkness and while the light wasn’t bright enough to keep him form making his second suicide attempt, he’s still there. Okay moving on

verse 3 time, oh yea!! I am waiting,,I have been waiting,,I was born waiting,,I was born waiting,,For that something,,Just to want something,,I was born something,,I was born hehehehe okay. So I know the pink bit is bigger but I honestly didn’t know where to separate my thoughts. So the pink bit to me is about his brief time as a Watcher! He was waiting and watching for a moment to escape. He was a reborn waiting for a chance to flee. Green is pretty self explanatory i think. He was born something and that something is an interstellar worm :)

Last but not least, the final chorus! There is a light, I feel it in me,,But only, it seems, when the dark surrounds me,,There is a dream and it sleeps in me,,To awake in the night, crying "Set me free",,And I awake every night, crying "Set me free" okay this is the final stretch. Orange highlighted stuff has already been gone over and now for the red! Okay so call me crazy but the dream that sleeps in him is the old Grian, before the worm birth, before the watchers. The memories of being a real player. Id explain it better but it's 12:30 and i have a headache and i really really want to finish this so :3

Anyways chat that’s all!! Again this song is Abbey by Mitski and the AU is the Hunger AU by @definitelynotshouting hope you all enjoyed and i’ll see y’all next time i get super silly :PP

[20w14a]

Finally made a line up for these guys (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

I’ll probably do more or something later but I’m still deciding on the other designs. Anyway, from left to right we have NPC Grian, Evil Xisuma, Helsknight, Worm Man, and Renbob!

[Headcanons and design notes under the cut]

NPC Grian

5′6 ft

demon? robot?? nobody knows

oldest of Grian’s robots children

although it loves messing with his creator and friends, it doesn’t mean to scare them when he suddenly appears

possessed doll vibes

patch on sweater made by Evil X

design wise I didn’t do much but I wanted to give a bit more distinction from mine by adding overalls and a sort of doll like vibe by taking inspiration from old toys like Raggedy Andy and a certain doll line I despised as a child lol

Evil Xisuma

5′8 ft with boots (without them they’re the same height as NPC Grian)

resting bitch face

lichtenberg scars sometimes appear on arms and body

long hair messy from wearing helmet

hair clips from Worm Man (idea taken from @waterfall-ambience)

unironically good friends with a lot of these guys but tends to act aloof about it for appearance sake

qpr with Worm Man

most of their design takes inspiration from the classic doom skin with a little inspiration from some fashion style and a certain clone with electric powers based on a blue fast hedgehog haha

Helsknight

5′10 ft

semi-retired champion fighter

flame is a part of him (essentially like certain demonic creatures, was debating going for a dullahan vibe because they are undead fae)

cut on mouth is from fighting

def a nerd in my head but tries not to show it (probably taught both Evil X and Worm Man tcg or something at one point)

his relationship with Evil X is funny to me, I think they’d share music tastes

his design mostly takes inspiration from knights from video games I know (ex: Julius from ender lilies, please check out that game)

Worm Man

5′10 ft (couple inches taller than both Helsknight and Zedaph)

has no superpowers; runs on perseverance and cartoon logic

sensitivity towards clothing textures, usually wears t-shirts and comfy clothes outside of hero suit (also wears glasses, check my other posts to see what I mean)

the stuff in his belt bags are mostly essential stuff like first aid equipment and leftover treats Evil Xisuma baked

qpr with Evil X

I kept Worm Man’s design the same; honestly my inspiration for his is actually from me using pink fabric as a kid for costume day funnily enough (though I will say I like to think his design is like a closet cosplay in a way with how he made it)

forgot this originally but the eye thing is more so a style choice and not part of the mask, I wanted it to have like a spiderman sort of vibe there with his expressions

Renbob

5′11 ft

originally would stop by to visit his cousin, Ren but slowly started staying more to help around the server until he later joined The Goatman with his work

werewolf cocker spaniel

freakishly strong and smart

more bite than bark than Ren if threatened, takes a lot to get him really pissed off though because of how chill he is

taken a bit of inspiration from hippie fashion for his design

[scribbling-dragon]

are we allies or enemies? (this will be the death of me)

summary:

Only when it persists does he finally close all of his eyes again, opening only the normal pair to stare down at his wrist mournfully. Invisible now, but visible just moments ago, was a green string, thin and wavering on occasion but resolutely leading somewhere. That somewhere presumably being Joel. The sensation makes sense now, if his soul has, once again, been tied to another. This one somehow being more reckless than the last. [alternatively, what if the "double life" of session three was a little more…literal]

(ao3 link)

(6,382 words)

been going a little insane over joel and grian since last week's episodes, so here you go! fun little reminder to reblog if you enjoyed it (and leave me any thoughts in the tags! i love reading 'em!)

Sparks burst to life before him, flaring green and burning themselves into his retinas, leaving afterimages he’ll be blinking away for the next few minutes. The book presents itself amidst these sparks, swirling together out of nothing.

The book he reaches for, and catches in his hands, is however very real. Unlike the sparks, which don't even carry any sensation with them. They may as well not land on his skin, for how little he feels of them. The sparks alight on the ends of his fingers as he closes them around the leather-bound book, but there is nothing beyond the visual of green sparks that tells him this.

The sparks fade from vivid green to nothingness as he flips the book open. Its cover ripples beneath his touch, enchantments sending a smooth wave of cold over his skin. It’s colder than usual, seeming to permeate every fibre of his being.

For every injury Joel Smallishbeans receives, you must receive the same. You can let him in on this secret but no one else... If either of you die in the next twenty-four hours, you fail.

As Grian reads the exact details of his task, as he allows the information to settle within his brain, he feels something else settle alongside it.

It is unfamiliar, and yet not. Something that he remembers, but different, in a way he cannot find words for. There is no description for the familiarity with which he accepts the sensation, nor are there any words for the unfamiliarity of it.

To share whatever damage Joel takes with himself…

He straightens his arms out in front of him, scrutinising the backs of his hands. There is nothing there except the few feathers he has dotting the backs of his hands. The tawny brown feathers rustle in an unseen breeze, before he’s flipping his hands over and scrutinising his palms instead.

There is no sign of damage, no sign of anything amiss, and yet the strange sensation persists.

He frowns for a moment, hands still held out in front of him, book awkwardly held in one hand.

He sighs, dropping his arms back down and turning to shove his task book into the small book holster they’d all been given. He doesn’t want to think about the small details on the bag, nor the way it fits each of the participants perfectly. He’s seen others customising their own, painting over the leather with team designs to denote belonging to one faction or another.

His own remains in the same state it was when he got it. The only decorations are a single eye, wide open, and embossed on the side he keeps turned inwards, resting against his side, and a cactus charm. He doesn’t question the choice of accessories; to do so would only open up a whole other can of worms. And he’s already got a rather complex can of worms opened in front of him, namely Joel.

He glances around himself as another idea comes to roost in his mind. He checks around himself carefully. His vantage point upon the spiralling staircases of his base means he can see for miles around, watching carefully to make sure no others are approaching to interrupt what he’s about to do.

With that confirmed, he turns back to himself and opens his eyes to See.

It’s obvious, almost immediately, what is wrong. The sensation that sends something crawling beneath his skin, a restless itch that cannot be scratched no matter what he does. He still stares at it a moment longer, as though his Sight would ever be able to deceive him. As though It is capable of such a thing.

Only when it persists does he finally close all of his eyes again, opening only the normal pair to stare down at his wrist mournfully.

Invisible now, but visible just moments ago, was a green string, thin and wavering on occasion but resolutely leading somewhere. That somewhere presumably being Joel. The sensation makes sense now, if his soul has, once again, been tied to another. This one somehow being more reckless than the last.

He groans, allowing himself this singular moment of despair. Joel has been more reckless this go-around more than anyone else. His injuries are numerous, and refusing to heal, and yet he continues on. It’s as though he’s incapable of learning not to leap from high places or fight a skeleton without a shield. At least he’s not got the arrows still sticking out of him.

He casts a baleful look towards the sky above him. “I'm sure you're finding this really quite hilarious,” he mutters to himself. He feels Their eyes turn onto him, watching with something that almost resembles amusement. As much amusement as an amorphous collective of spectators set on consuming your agony can feel, he supposes. “Is this a joke? Or are you trying to get me to keep Joel alive a little longer?”

He almost takes his book out of the holster its currently sitting in to wave it at the sky in protest. But doing so will only make him look like a madman, and he’s rather certain he can hear people moving around the bottom of the hill he resides on. No need to scare anyone else away – he’s alone enough as it is already.

Their eyes continue to rest on him, silence filling the unmeasurable distance between him and Them. They could be right in front of his face, for all Grian would know of it. Only if he opened all his eyes again would that happen, and he’s already starting to get a headache from using that a minute ago.

“Whatever,” he dismisses them. “I'm sure you're just looking to cause me the most pain possible; congrats! He’s already halfway to yellow, and he doesn’t have a wary bone in his body! You’ve set me up for failure here!”

Their silence almost seems to suggest laughter, which is when Grian gives up. He throws his hands in the air and storms back down his winding staircase.

He can only hope that no-one saw him yelling at the sky.

=== === ===

He approaches slowly, cautious of the voices he can hear carrying on the wind. Entering this particular area always makes him feel as though he’s been twisted around and put back together wrong. The sideways house and the upside-down house confuse some part of his brain; as does the somehow-sideways pond. Mumbo hadn’t given him and answer on just how he managed to make such a thing.

Stood beneath a cherry tree, talking to his teammates (are they teammates? They all live close to each other, but he’s not sure they’ve ever confirmed forming a team), is his target.

“Joel!” he calls, waving a hand when the man in question turns to see who’s calling out for him. “C’mere, I need to talk to you!”

“I- one second, Grian. We’re having a bonding moment right now.” Joel turns back to his conversation, one about favourite movies for some reason.

Grian tries not to let himself feel too frustrated at him. “Yeah, well, I might need you to un-bond for a second.” It would be so much easier to just snap the tether between him and Joel, to take a pair of metaphorical scissors to the metaphorical, non-corporeal thread linking him to Joel. For something that doesn’t actually exist, it rests pretty heavy around his wrist.

Joel ignores him. He huffs in frustration, scuffing his foot into the grass. He’s well aware that he’s not the most patient person, but what he has to say is far more important than some bonding moment over movies!

He could go right now. He doesn’t even need to tell Joel about this. He could just leave, and Joel would be none the wiser.

…And then there’d be no opportunity to protect Joel. No way to watch over him and make sure Joel doesn’t come to harm, so he doesn’t come to harm. He scowls a little deeper at the grass in front of him, digging his heel in a little deeper. The soil is soft, and gives way easily beneath his foot, as though it’s only just been shifted to this spot and not yet trampled properly into place.

“Joel,” he calls out again, during a lull in the conversation. He puts a little more urgency into his voice this time, slightly pleading with the man to simply listen and come with him. Joel looks over his shoulder at him, must see something in his face, his eyes – whatever – to convince him to finally listen.

“Okay, one sec. I need to see what Grian needs.”

He sighs, rolling his eyes as finally Joel comes over to speak with him, abandoning the rest of his group to continue talking about movies.

“I need to talk to you about something.”

“Okay?”

“Not here,” Grian turns around, spotting Joel’s helter-skelter almost immediately. “Let’s got to your base; we can discuss things a little more privately there.”

“Uh-huh,” Joel nods, sounding almost like he disagrees. Still, when Grian turns to check over his shoulder, Joel is following behind him.

=== === ===

“Look, just. This might seem like it’s against the rules, but here.” He’s halfway through undoing the latches on his book holster, the leather straps slipping free of their buckles easily. He reaches in and retrieves his task for the week. His hands clutch it a little tighter, eyes almost straying towards where he knows the Secret Keeper’s statue sits as it watches.

He releases it after only a small internal debate, depositing it into Joel’s hands.

“Uh, you feeling alright fella?” Joel’s fingers don't tighten around the book, don't do anything to keep a hold of something that is, realistically, actually quite precious. And important. “You're aware you just handed me your secret task book, yeah?”

“No, Joel. I've actually gone blind from exposure to the sun and I meant to hand you the other, totally normal, book that I keep in my specially designed book holster.” He pauses for a moment, letting the sarcasm sink it, lets the annoyed expression begin to cross Joel’s face before he continues. “Yes, Joel. I just handed you my task. Just read it; everything will make sense once you do.”

“Alright…” Joel continues to eye him, even as he flips the book open. He turns past the battered pages of already complete tasks, instructions crossed out in blotchy ink. He holds the book in one hand, spine cradled in his palm and thumb pressed over the eye engraved into the book’s back cover. A mirror image to the one embossed on his book holster. It almost seems to burn a brand into his leg, where it rests. “Your loss, I guess. For every injury,” he begins to read.

“Not out loud!” Grian hisses, surging forward to cover Joel’s mouth with his hands. He doesn’t quite make contact, stopping just before he can actually cover Joel’s mouth – he doesn’t feel like being licked today. Joel pauses as well, the hissed shouting enough to shut him up for a second. “Not out loud,” Grian repeats, a little calmer. “Read it silently; use your head words.”

Joel hums, before looking back down at the task again.

Grian can see the exact moment everything slots together in his head, because he gains an odd glimmer in his eyes, a gleeful laugh falling from his open mouth. “Oh my gosh, is this real?”

“Why wouldn’t it be- yes it’s real!”

Joel cackles again, snapping the book shut and tossing it back to Grian. Grian fumbles, reaching out to grab it before it can spill open on the ground between them. It would be just his luck for someone to come along at just that moment and be let in on the secret. The task may not be one he’s looking forward to, but he’d rather not fail that early!

He looks back up. “Woah, hey, what are you doing? Joel? What are you doing-!”

He lurches forward, forgetting the book and reaching for Joel instead. Who continues to laugh as he steps backwards off the small ledge he’s left behind. Grian shudders to a halt, the shock of impact crawling up his legs. He winces, peering over the edge with an angry scowl as he hears Joel hiss in pain.

“You idiot!” His wings flare out at he yells down at Joel, casting a shadow over where the other man stands. “Why’d you do that!”

“For fun,” Joel shrugs. He takes a step and winces. Phantom pain flares up along Grian’s own leg, a tingling sensation that quickly dissipates. “Maybe shouldn’t’ve.”

“You think?” He might be overreacting slightly, but that wouldn’t have happened if he didn’t tell Joel this. None of this would have happened if he just contented himself with watching from a distance. Sue him for wanting to spend a little time around some of his friends though! He sat and built a staircase leading to nowhere because no-one stuck around with him for long enough last week!

“Hm, maybe.” Joel begins clambering back up to where Grian stands. Hopefully, not to jump off again. “This is probably why I don't last very long in these things.”

Really? Grian doesn’t say, though he tries to communicate it as best as he can with his face alone. You think?

“Okay, whatever.” Joel sighs, “I’ll do my best not to get hurt today, alright? Spare you the pain, or whatever.” He then makes a shooing motion with both hands, looking confused when Grian sticks around instead.

“You want me to just leave?”

“Uh, yeah. Things’ll be a bit hard with you hanging around, y’know. I want to get my own task done; my very secret, very important, task.”

“You're aware of who you're talking to, right?” He tips his head to the side, spreading his hands out to the sides, as though gesturing to himself. The guy that kept Scar from killing himself almost immediately, goes unsaid, though he’s sure the sentiment gets across to Joel. “You can’t just get rid of me that easily.”

“You're gonna make things very difficult. You're gonna make my life quite difficult if you're hanging around with me.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” he crosses his arms and puts his foot down. Metaphorically. His feet are already on the ground. “You need to be kept safe.”

=== === ===

He turns his back for one moment. One moment. And Joel is gone. Disappeared into thin air.

He absently waves goodbye to Gem as she leaves. And then it’s just Grian and the looming figure of the Secret Keeper. He almost turns back around to face It, maybe swear at it a little bit for putting him in this situation (seemingly over and over again- Scar, Scar again, now Joel). He doesn’t, if only because this is a public area frequently visited by others, and he doesn’t want to be found cussing the statue out for his task.

Fine. Fine, whatever. He can work with this.

If Joel wants to slip away when Grian’s not looking, then he can Look for him in return. Is it cheating? Probably. Does he actually care? Not at all. The Secret Keeper looms behind him, a threatening and ominous figure on the dark horizon. He ignores it easily, considering the cussing-the-statue-out idea again before dismissing it just as easily.

When he opens his eyes – hundreds upon hundreds of them, wings flickering with the lights of thousands of eyes opening at once, not something you want to be seeing if you're just a regular old person – he finds Joel almost immediately. Halfway across the server and looking for Scar of all people.

He snaps the eyes shut again just as quickly, settling back into his body uneasily. He checks around himself carefully for any of his friends – passing out from the weight of a thousand eyes resting upon you is not, apparently, a very fun way to do so. And it’s an incident he’d rather not repeat.

His eyes take a moment to refocus on the ground in front of him, unused to only viewing the world from a singular pair and making him dizzy as they struggle to readjust.

He shakes his head, which only makes the dizziness worse for several long seconds, before it clears up completely. After that, it’s a relatively short trip to Trader Scar’s, where he comes across Joel as he’s walking away from the shack.

“Where have you been!” is what he chooses to announce his presence with, watching as Joel’s head swivels around to face him. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere, and I find you here?”

“Grian…” Joel looks faintly guilty. “Funny seeing you here.”

“Uh-huh,” he crosses his arms. “You not got anything else to say to me?”

“Like what?”

“Sorry would be a good place to start,” he sniffs in a short breath through his nose. He would look away from Joel, but he’s also pretty sure Joel would take that as another opportunity to slip away (-which…hurts a little, he can admit that much. Sure, Joel has his task to do, but to slip away from one of his friends when they're really just hanging out for the next day. Hurts a little-) and instead keeps his eyes firmly fixed on him. “Though I will also take you begging for my forgiveness.”

“Yeah,” Joel snorts. “Why don't I just give you all my diamonds while I'm at it?” Joel brightens visibly a moment later. “Scar! Just the guy I was looking for!”

Joel brushes past him, shoulders barely touching as he ditches him in favour of someone else. Grian frowns, turning to look after him, and maybe he’s being a little bit too sensitive about this. Maybe he’s just been spending a little too much of his time alone with his twisting, nonsensical staircase for this to be upsetting him as much as it is.

He’s distracted a moment later when Joel starts talking to Scar. The gentle thrumming of another heart beside his own, only picking up on occasion when he runs or encounters a creeper. Mumbo’s stood on the edges of the conversation, the same as him.

Now, it’s going a mile a minute, thumping so hard that Grian’s convinced he can feel the heart – Joel’s heart – in his throat, pressing at the back of his mouth and making him feel sick. He clamps his mouth shut with the realisation, anything he was going to say cut off.

“Why is everyone so concerned about the camel, and where is the camel is the real question!” Scar responds, gesturing widely. He looks vaguely distressed about the whereabouts of his camel.

“I dunno where the camel is but I just want you to play it safe.” Joel looks completely relaxed, and Grian maybe would have believed it if it didn’t feel like his heart was about to beat out his chest and leap up his throat. It’s not even his heart – it’s Joel’s! He’s really beginning to feel like he got the short end of the stick here. Should have just collected a new task from the Secret Keeper and been done with all this. “I feel like you should stay off the camel today Mumbo- I mean Scar.”

“Why is Mumbo and Joel both telling me to be careful with my camel?” Scar looks over at him, like he has the answers. He shrugs, the only response he can manage while still feeling as though he’s going to vomit. How Joel’s carrying out a normal conversation, with his heart thumping like this, is beyond him.

“I dunno. Weird isn’t it.”

“It is weird,” Scar agrees. He’s squinting at Joel now, suspicion written across his face.

“Like seeing two black cats.” Joel’s heart slows a little, something akin to disappointment washing over his face, there and gone again.

“…Depends how many cats you own.”

Grian pauses, then starts laughing. Mumbo laughs along too, perhaps not sure on why their little group has just started laughing at the little comment he made. Maybe because it cut through the invisible tension that had begun to form in the air between Joel and Scar, Scar obviously attempting to figure out why Joel was acting so odd. Grian had a small idea, but not enough to confidently say he knew what Joel’s task is.

=== === ===

Grian has to jog to catch up with Joel, who was definitely not trying to slip away from him again.

“Joel!” He calls out.

“Grian,” Joel slows and turns to face him. “Funny to see you here.”

“You weren’t trying to slip away from me again, were you?” he teases. Both of them know full well that Joel was trying to slip away from him, escape and do whatever task that he’s apparently unable to do with Grian present. A task that also, apparently, makes Joel’s heartrate skyrocket – enough to make Grian feel the effects of it. “’Cause I just want you to know that’s impossible.”

“Really? ‘Cause that sounds like a challenge.”

“It is most certainly not-”

“Agh!” Joel leaps backwards, almost crashing into Grian and sending both of them to the ground. “Turn around, turn around! There’s a skeleton there.”

That’s it? Joel continues backpedalling, away from the skeleton that has apparently spooked him badly enough to do a complete one-eighty. He turns around to tell Joel just this, completely ignoring (forgetting) the skeleton stood just a few feet away from him.

He makes a pained sound as the skeleton shoots him in the shoulder, raising his shield just a moment too late. He almost reaches up to yank the arrow right back out, pausing, and raising his shield instead. He ignores the way the arrow shifts in his shoulder, buried in the junction between skin and feather.

Joel makes another startled sound, and Grian – remembering to raise his shield this time – turns to watch him fending off a singular zombie. For someone that so confidently killed several of his friends last time, he sure is struggling with a singular zombie.

“Grian!” Joel calls, voice cracking. “Aren't you supposed to be protecting me right now!”

“Bit busy here!” An arrow embeds itself into his shield with a thunk, the skeleton rattling ominously as it takes a few more shambling steps towards him. He reaches out from behind the shield to swipe at the skeleton, sword aiming for its bony neck at the exact moment that Joel drops his shield and gets swiped by the zombie.

Grian stumbles at the flare of pain up his forearm, taking another arrow to the shoulder as penance for his momentary distraction.

Grian can already feel the blood welling up from the wound, causing his jumper to stick to his arm as it continues to bleed. The injury will not begin to clot or heal or scab over, it will just stop bleeding, eventually, in order to prevent them bleeding out.

He grits his teeth through the pain and swipes at the skeleton, hitting the mark this time. He ignores the way it jostles the arrows stuck in him, the flare of pain spreading like wildfire before fading back to a dull throb moments later.

He hears Joel’s small noise of victory as he manages to defeat the zombie, the last groans of the undead fading away as it collapses into a pile of ash. Joel kicks a foot through that pile of ash, further dispersing it.

“C’mon,” Joel begins walking again, forcing Grian to abandon his task of trying to pull one of the arrows out of himself safely. “You gotta be quiet if you're sticking with me, yeah? When I hide, you hide. When I'm quiet, you're quiet.”

“Whatever you say.” He can only hope this means that Joel’s going to stop slipping away from him. It’s hard enough to keep him alive as it is!

=== === ===

His shirt is completely ruined. The blood stains the white fabric really quite obviously, making it completely unsalvageable. He could put it through the washing machine a thousand times and it still wouldn’t come out clean.

Which is why he has no qualms with using it to clean the quickly drying blood off his arm. He presses his back a little deeper into the dirt him and Joel are currently hiding behind. He keeps his breathing as quiet as possible to let Joel do…whatever it is that Joel is doing. He’s listening in on someone’s conversation behind them, making small notes to himself in his task book.

At least he’s keeping the book directed carefully away from where Grian crouches. As much as it’s against the rules, he wouldn’t be able to resist peeking if he was able.

He continues to clean the blood off his arm calmly. This jumper’s probably ruined as well. He might be able to wash it and continue wearing it like normal – it is red after all, but the blood has dried darker than the fabric, leaving it as a rather obvious stain at the moment.

The arrow in his left shoulder is next. He grips is gently around the base, poking at the entry point of the thing. It doesn’t seem like the arrowhead shattered within his shoulder, but you can never be sure. Skeleton’s arrows are notoriously prone to falling apart at the slightest impact; and the amount of force it takes to bury and arrow into flesh is a little more than the slightest impact.

He grips the arrow firmly, between finger and thumb, and yanks. He grits his teeth to muffle any small noises of pain he might make, curling in on himself slightly. A little more blood leaks out now that the arrow has been removed, sitting in his bloody palm instead.

The arrowhead looks to be intact, which only makes him grateful that he doesn’t have to dig around in his shoulder for any small pieces of flint that may have chipped off. Just the thought is enough to make him feel ill, and the memory of the last time he did have to do it makes bile rise in his mouth.

“What are you doing,” Joel hisses at him when he starts trying to reach for the other arrow. This one is a little more awkward to reach, embedded in his back rather than his front, forcing him to try and reach over his shoulder to yank this one out.

“What does it look like I'm doing,” he hisses back. The pain’s making him a little grouchy, wings moving behind him. His nerves are all kinds of weird right now, leaving him with twitchy feathers and in an irritable mood.

“Looks like you're trying to be an idiot,” Joel returns. “Did you really have to do this right now? Right here?”

“Oh, so sorry,” Grian whispers. “I’ll just sit here for the next thirty minutes with these damn arrows sticking out of me!”

“I didn’t turn you into a pin-cushion,” Joel mutters. He looks back at Grian a moment later, no longer peeking over the top of their little hiding spot to watch the small group nearby. “Just, turn around. You're gonna snap it off like that, and then you’ll be in even worse spot than before.

Grian grumbles to himself but shuffles around, ignoring the cramping of his legs from being crouched in one position for so long. He feels Joel’s hands on his back and wing, pulling the wing and stretching it out slightly to see where the arrow’s stuck in him.

The feeling of another’s hands on his wings will never not be strange to him, but he grits his teeth and bears it as Joel prods at the arrow. Perhaps not very gently, but then he also doesn’t yank it out of him with much gentleness either.

“Oops, sorry,” Joel says, patting him awkwardly on the back. He sounds at least a little sorry for just yanking it out like that. “Thought it’d be better to just, get it out, you know? It’d only irritate and worsen everything if I just sat and wiggled it around.”

“Thanks,” Grian manages. The sound of his own flesh parting around the arrow is not something he wants to hear any time soon. The gristly sound of it enough to make the bile rise in his mouth again. He breathes through it as best as he can, watching as Joel returns to listening in on other people’s conversations.

They’ll go butt into someone’s conversation in a few moments, Joel attempting a task that Grian still doesn’t understand.

=== === ===

The warmth of the flames against his skin is comfortable. Maybe he should have thought this through a little more, considered everything a moment longer, before setting the base on fire in a fit of frustration. Nothing about it looked quiet right, and he couldn’t figure out what was wrong with it.

“And his base is on fire,” the other source of his current frustration said, announcing his arrival. “Why’s the base on fire?”

“Oh no,” Grian glances back at his on-fire, currently collapsing mess of a base. “I didn’t even realise. Definitely didn’t…set it on fire myself. That’d be a stupid thing to do,” he tucks the flint and steel he used back into his inventory. “Seems like I only have one choice now! Gonna have to move in with you now!”

“Yeah, look.” Joel inhales sharply, pressing his hands together before looking back at Grian, “I'm considering begging for a new task, at the moment. This one’s turning out to be impossible, even without you following me around.”

“Good to know I'm not the problem,” Grian responds, voice dry.

“Yeah, yeah. I thought I’d come tell you, because, you know. It’s gonna affect you if everything goes wrong and stuff. Which it probably will!”

“Wait- what? You're being serious? Just- why would you wanna ask for another task? You’ve not got much life left in you, you get any more taken away and you're gonna be surviving on basically nothing!”

“Wow, already predicting my failure?”

“The tasks are near-impossible, Joel! There’s a very high chance that you're just gonna fail!”

“Yeah, and I'm gonna fail this one anyway,” Joel crosses his arms.

“At least there’s no consequence to it- look,” he sighs. “Just give it a few more tries, yeah? If it still doesn’t work out, go get a new task.”

“Ugh, you care way too much about this,” Joel grumbles.

“My life is also on the line here!” He might fail if Joel dies, sure, but he might also die with it. There’s no saying how far this bond goes between them.

=== === ===

“Grian!”

“Agh- Joel!” Grian startles at Joel shouting in his ear, nearly dropping his axe as he spins around. “You're lucky I didn’t cave your head in just then!”

“Yeah, thanks for that. Can I have your heart?”

“I- what?” Grian blinks at him. “You reappear out of nowhere, after ditching me again, and ask for my heart? While your wife’s watching?”

Joel waves him off. “We can go somewhere a little more private, if you want. Lizzie doesn’t care. I’ll even gift you a heart back, yeah?”

“Uh, sure.” He pulls out his comm, glancing up to find Joel doing the same, both of them tapping the command into their screens simultaneously. Grian feels the moment Joel’s gift bursts through to him, a slight reduction of his general tiredness, making him feel a little lighter than before. It’s a welcome relief after the not-even-a-full-day that he’s had.

“So I got another task,” Joel says seconds later, ruining any kind of relief Grian might have had.

“What?” Grian resists the urge to grab Joel by his shoulders and shake him. Maybe he’ll manage to shake the idiocy out of him. “What do you mean? Why would you do that?”

“’Cause I felt like it,” Joel shrugs. “Could you get everyone to gather at the Secret Keeper? I got something I wanna show them.”

“Oh, wow,” he hopes his expression conveys how unimpressed (and annoyed) he is with Joel right now. “I wonder why that might be. Gathering the whole server together for a bit of fun?”

“Something like that, yeah. Alright,” Joel turns around, “see you in a bit! Make sure you get everyone!”

Grian drops his head into his hands and groans.

This day can’t get any worse. Ack, no, he shouldn’t think like that, because now it will get worse.

=== === ===

“And, everyone’s almost here,” Grian feels a little breathless, running to every corner of the server to collect every single person. He wishes for his wings to recover a little quicker – the clipped feathers would usually regenerate themselves within a few days, leaving him able to fly over the server. But with the state of things right now, they’ve remained clipped and grounded him. “Don't see why you couldn’t have done it yourself.” He pokes Joel in the chest, half-joking and half-irritated for having to run to every single corner.

Joel pushes his hand away, laughing a little at Grian’s misery. “Consider it payment for the attempts that you messed up.”

“I didn’t mess any of your attempts up, you-”

“Oh, wow, would you look at that, Grian! Everyone else seems to be arriving, ahaha! Goodbye!” Grian turns to glance over his shoulder where Joel points, only to turn back and be graced with the sight of Joel already twenty blocks high.

“Joel!” he yells, already knowing that there was nothing to be done here. “Oh gods.” He watches Joel precariously build himself up another ten blocks before he buries his face in his hands. “I can’t watch.”

“Oh my gosh,” the rattle of bones pulling up beside him heralds Lizzie’s arrival. “Oh no, what is he doing?”

“I don't even wanna look,” he complains. He can hear the tumbling of pebbles from the pillar Joel’s created for him, peeking through the gaps in his fingers despite his earlier words. Joel seems to just be going up and up, climbing higher without end. He feels sick just watching it.

People begin to arrive in small groups, more and more gathering as Joel only gets higher and higher. People ask him what’s happening – they’ve been together all session, so people think he knows what goes through Joel’s mind. He doesn’t think even Joel knows what goes through Joel’s mind.

He lowers his hands from his face to watch as Joel stops, teetering on the very edge of his tower. He looks down, watching as Martyn continues to scramble up the wonky tower, on the verge of falling of it himself in pursuit of guessing Joel’s task before he can make the leap of faith.

Grian covers his eyes again, unable to bear watching it. He can feel Joel’s heart in his ears, beating a fast tempo alongside his own – it’s a panicked sort, like the thundering of a drum or the frenzied pumping of a rabbit’s heart moments before its own death.

Please let him succeed, he begs, almost begs. Please, don't let him fail, he amends.

He can feel the moment Joel steps off the edge, can feel the sudden weightlessness – the feeling of panic that carries over the bond. He can feel the loss of air in his lungs, as the rapidly reducing height steals it from his chest.

He sits down a little heavily, on the raised dirt mound just behind him. He leans against it, really, unable to watch as someone tied to him plummets towards the ground.

It’s in the last few moments that Grian realises he’s not going to make it. When the panic flashing across the bond turns into sheer terror. It renders him gasping for breath as quietly as he can behind his hands as everyone else yells – a mixture between shock and encouragement. It’s been only a few moments, barely enough time to process what’s begun to happen in front of them.

The pressure of it travels so sharply up his legs that he’s certain they’ll break, jarring and so, so different to that first jump Joel had done, right when Grian revealed the situation to him, to test how far it went.

He drags in a ragged breath as the shouts of excitement turn to ones of horror, as everyone processes it. He only draws his hands away from his face when he’s certain he’s not going to be sick, phantom pains still ricocheting through his limbs. Through his entire being.

Maybe it’s better to fail.

Joel’s voice breaks out over the crowd, respawning in front of the Secret Keeper rather than his base. As though It wants to parade him around, to allow everyone to gape and gawp at his failure moments after it has happened.

His legs feel as though they won’t hold his weight, meaning when he manages to stand he’s more than a little surprised. Joel’s at the centre of attention, everyone watching him – eagerly – hand in his failure, to receive the punishment the Secret Keeper bestows upon him for reaching higher than he can achieve.

Grian accepts his own failure graciously. It is far better to fail and gain nothing, than die alongside Joel and still gain nothing. As selfish as that makes him feel. He still feels a little out of it, even as he smiles and grins and jokes as he hands in his task, accepts the failure and the light-hearted mockery of his friends.

He feels a little bit not himself. The injuries passed over to him by Joel remain, as though their souls had not properly separated after his death. He knows they did. He hasn’t checked properly, not yet, not with so many onlookers, but the thumping of a heart that he’d barely noticed before is missing.

“Ugh, that was lame.” Joel says, after the majority of the crowds have dispersed, rolling his neck as he speaks, working out whatever respawn joint stiffness was sticking with him. He looks over at Grian as he speaks. “Uh, Grian? You alright there?”

Grian smiles in response, hopes it doesn’t waver with the phantom pains still rattling his bones a f coursing through his veins. “Just fine,” he says. “Almost perfect!”

He is. The bond broke before he could die alongside Joel. He’s fine.

He’ll be fine.

[memryse]

I find it interesting that 9 times out of 10 life series grian is the antagonist but you just. wont see it from his POV because he treats the series like a let’s play and glosses over the everything else.

or maybe im wrong

it’s because he sucks ❤️

i rewrote my answer to this like three times because man. it’s such an interesting thing to get into and there are worms in my brain. this is why i absolutely love characterisation of grian in the life series that has him be kind of… detached, because as more of a let’s player than a roleplayer that means in canon he really is detached until he Really Isn’t. he cares a lot about causing chaos and murder, cares roughly the same amount about his One Guy (or sometimes two people!) of the season and boy does he get really mad when they betray him and finally he gets sad and almost.. lost? when they die, or rather when he inevitably kills them. other than this he can be a lot more divorced from the interpersonal drama of the server he just doesn’t really give a fuck. last life grian in particular feels very cold and callous and it makes me want to eat my own fist! and thus it’s hard to see him as an antagonistic role from his own videos because even though cc!grian doesn’t deliberately edit things out as much as, say, scar does, he just Kind of doesn’t care about anything else and it definitely rubs off on the viewer. him killing three people in cold blood is just funny to him because it means so little to him compared to, say, the people that actually died or the people that are a bit more into “playing the game”. and the video doesn’t really leave much room for you as the audience to think of it as anything except funny. This ramble really all comes back to last life because like yes im a 3L girlie but my true ‘expertise’ is in LL characterisation and god i love how dark and hopeless that series feels and this sort of vibe for grian works so well there. i have so many diseases about ll!grian blorbo from my miniseries This no longer has anything to do with what you originally said my point is i agree and im very not normal about what it means in universe