#greyro pride

[lgbtqtext]

Requested by littledemon55

[matcha-milo]

I want a relationship that is completely undefinable by any existing labels or words. Like, we're so close and we hug and kiss each other's foreheads and cuddle and travel and explore together, and we get along so well and have so much in common. But at the same time, our relationship isn't fully romantic or fully platonic; it's a completely separate, open-to-interpretation thing that we tweaked as needed, and we have our own boundaries and things we are and aren't comfortable with, and we respect each other in every way, shape, and form.

[verdantwyrm]

Greyrose flag for myself, plus some nice variants I made.

[xxcalicofemmexx]

greyromantic + gorgons

Greyromantic: Romantic attraction is rare and/or mild. Often used as an umbrella term for people who think/know they're on the aromantic spectrum, but don't know exactly where. An arospec identity that can be combined with other identities (greybiromantic, etc) or used as an identity of its own. Also known as greyaromantic, grey aromantic, and grey aro

[dhddmods]

Autosexuals/Autoromantics are misunderstood.

Autosexuality and autoromanticism are such misunderstood orientations. It is not self-obsession, it is not being egotistical, and it is certainly not comparable to Narcissistic Personality Disorder (and comparing it to NPD stigmatizes both autoattraction and NPD alike.)

Now before I get into further detail, let me make something clear - nearly everybody has low-level autosexual and autoromantic tendencies. For example, when a person looks at themself in the mirror and thinks that they look pretty today, or when a person sings because they like the sound of themself singing. Autoattracted people just have it at a higher level than non-autosexuals.

Autosexuality and autoromanticism is the attraction to oneself. This attraction could be exclusive attraction to oneself (and thus, falls on the greyasexual or greyromantic umbrella) or it could be attraction to oneself that is at a similar or equal level to ones attraction to others. Autosexuals tend to prefer masturbation to having sex with others, but thats not always the case, and many still do desire partnered sex as well.

An autosexual and/or autoromantic person might choose to date themself. Alternatively, they might choose to date themself and others. Or they might ignore their autoattraction altogether, and only date others, or remain non-partnering/single. Autoattracted people that date themself and other people are polyamorous, specifically autoamorous.

This differs from typical self-love and self-care because there is genuine romantic and/or sexual attraction involved. When I think of dating myself, I explicitly think of it as romantic. I do not consider it "treating myself", I consider it to be treating my partner. I wish to marry myself, to have sex with myself, to have a family with myself. I feel sad sometimes when I consider that I cannot split into two, and hold myself or kiss myself. That isn't something non-autosexuals experience. They care for themselves, but they don't fantasize of such romance or sex.

Another thing I must clarify - autoattracted people can be insecure. They can dislike themselves. They can have dysphoria and dysmorphia. They can insult themselves. And that just makes it hurt more.

I am autosexual and self-partnered. When I feel insecure about myself, it not only feels like I am betraying my lover, but it also feels like my lover is betraying me. I am insulting and thinking poorly of my lover, and my lover is insulting and thinking poorly of me. It is heartbreaking and painful. It makes me guilty and angry.

I have tried dating other people in the past, but they felt as though I was more attracted to myself than I was to them. Which wasn't true! I was equally attracted to me and to them. I wasn't leading them on, I was upfront about my self-attraction, and they claimed to be fine with it. But then they grew self-conscious as time went on, some even claimed I was narcissistic (which again, demonizes NPD and also is a total misinterpretation of autoattraction.) I tried to step back from taking myself on dates and whatnot, but then I felt guilty that I was not giving both my partners (myself and them) equal attention, and also felt angry and neglected (at myself) that I was being "demoted" so to say. That is why I often desire to date another autoattracted person, so that they may understand my struggles.

Please, I beg of you, read these articles (though warning for sexual topics.) Read the experiences of people with autoattraction. Try to understand us and be compassionate to us. Autoattracted people struggle and are marginalized too.

Here are a few sections of the article that really speak to my experience.

Article 1

Some autosexuals are also autoromantics which means they like the idea of dating themselves too. One woman, Ghia Vitale, has written about being in a relationship with herself. "I take myself out for coffee, go on walks in nature, dress in lingerie and cuddle up to myself, or simply sit in the darkness and bask in my own presence," she writes.

"Sometimes, I light candles and do sensual dances for my own entertainment. When I’m feeling especially positive about life, I do a lot of things to romance myself. I’ve learned how to create dates with myself out of thin air. Something as simple as lotioning my body can turn into a sensual, sexual moment, sometimes voluntarily and other times on its own."

I can relate to some of what Ghia is saying, and I do have an amazing sex life alone. And I also know that it can be just as fun with the right person who understands my needs. Besides, relationships aren’t just about sex. I personally love the idea of getting married and having a family one day. I don’t see why I can’t have that just because I sexually enjoy myself.

-

While I've learnt to embrace being an autosexual there are still times when I wish I was 'normal'. It's frustrating when your friends can't relate to what you're going through, and sometimes when I'm with a boyfriend, I feel bad that I'm getting a different kind of pleasure from our intimacy than he is. In those moments, I wish I could just put autosexuality on pause, and explore a more 'regular' sexuality.

But then I remember that nothing is 'normal' with sexuality and we're all different. People are queer, bisexual, asexual... as society becomes more open, and people are more honest about their sexuality, I feel like we're starting to see just how fluid sexuality is. I hope that one day, autosexuality is more widely understood because I'd love to be able to tell my family about it. Right now, they just wouldn't get it. I once tried to describe it to my mum but she looked freaked out, so I stopped.

I recently met a female autosexual online and confessed I might be one as well. It felt so good to have the response be mutual understanding, rather than laughter or awkwardness. We’re such a new community that we’re still figuring out exactly where we fit in on the sexual spectrum, but I’m just glad to have a way of explaining how I feel.

If the chance came to be involved with another autosexual it could be amazing. It would mean I'd have a truly equal relationship for the first time in my life, where we'd both feel the exact same way about our sexualities. I just have no idea how to find someone though - it's not exactly the kind of box you can tick on a dating app. At least, not yet.

-

Article 2

Adam is a polyamorous, gender-fluid autosexual who is also pansexual. But though their autosexuality is beautiful and fulfilling, it is entangled within a lifetime of depression and a longing grief for a love story that can never truly consummate itself. For Adam, the sexual bewilderment of loving someone who simultaneously exists and can never exist triggers a dissonance which he describes as akin to bereavement. As such, coming to terms with their sexuality means mourning themselves. “I needed to grieve that I cannot be with myself in the same way I can be with other people,” they say. “That I cannot feel the touch the same way, that I cannot hug myself like other people, or ever have sex with myself because there’s only one body.”

Please be respectful in the comments.

-Ally (they/them + fae/faer)

[i-like-swiss-cheese]

hey alloromantics

i have a question

what the fuck is the deal with you guys equating romance to empathy

i am one of the most empathetic people i know

but i dont feel romantic attraction

and all of the sudden i am cold and heartless

it does not matter that i go to every food drive i can to help distribute food

or that i have told my mom about some things that are often overlooked (IE: homeless ppl, education quality, suicide rate, etc.) and begged her to use her political influence to do something about it

or that i always treat everyone with the same level of respect and give them equal opportunity in almost all situations (not like murderers or rapists cus fuck those guys)

or that nobody had even noticed that i was aro and i was always told that i had "the biggest heart I've ever seen" by others who then turn around and call me cold and heartless when i come out to them instead of giving me even 1% of the respect i gave them

why are you so insistent on oxytocin's being released in certain scenarios being the only thing that matters in this world

when you donate to a charity, you don't need to want to marry the recipients of the funds to go through with it, but when i don't want to marry them or anybody for that matter i am incapable of empathy???

and then when they realize that i did not come out as ace and am an aroallo they get even worse

one person (online thank god because otherwise i would be in jail for beating them to a pulp) said that because i wanted sex but not romance i was basically a rapist

how in the kentucky fried fuck does my not getting crushes mean that i am a rapist

I am friends with some victims of rape and the fact that people would think of me so lowly just because i was not like them to assume that i would do that to somebody, that i would make them feel that unique pain that i had to see my best friend's brother go through and never quite leave behind, all because i was different

because i felt enough trust and comfort in them to allow them to know this

because i am me

to any allos reading this, please please please never do any of these things to someone

i really wish i were one of you guys because it seems soooo nice and the idea of being in love looks like drinking ambrosia to me, but if this is what it does to people, then maybe i should be glad that i dodged that ICBM

i did not choose to be like this, and i would not if given the choice, so please, treat me with some basic human decency instead of treating me like scum

EDIT: this is not meant to demonize people with low empathy, they are also not r4pists

[amr2002amr]

romanctic attraction is thinking someone is cool, pretty, amazing, etc. and passionately desiring romantic things with said person and having this warm spark in you or butterflies in the stomach when you think about them or hang with them and desiring entering a romantic relationship with them. These feelings persist regardless of comfort level or compatibility. I am grayromantic and I have only experienced romantic attraction a couple times so I know what it feels like.

If you don't know, ask yourself, do you passionately want to do romantic acts with said person you're interested in, would that bring you fluffy joy and wonderous thrill or does simply being friends with them (or somewhere in between or any other tertiary attraction level) feel way better of an end goal to your passionate desires?

[will drop the term qpr, queer platonic partner/relationship here for your use if you don't know it already]

[demiromantic-daily]

it’s a bit isolating being aro and feeling like it’s an identity that’s only discussed or even exists only online so everyone write in the tags your stories about meeting other aro people irl

[hihikawas]

Can you do icons of Serial Designation N and Butler N with Asexual, Greyromantic, and Fictoplatonic backgrounds, please

Absolutely!

Asexual, Greyromantic and Fictoplatonic N Icons for @mayordebbie ! Hope you like them!

As usual, if you have any issues please let me know!!

[matcha-milo]

Am I the only aro-spec person who switches between wanting a committed partnership, be it romantic, platonic, queerplatonic, etc, and wanting to be as far away from relationships as possible?

[adventures-in-moderating]

I just have to ask was shrignold being in the background of the pride month post foreshadowing for him and warren

I think at that point it was purely to rub how non-hetero everyone was in his face, so I had him look sad in the background.

There was actually a time where I wasn't 100% sure if I was going to pull the trigger on the Shrignold/Warren subplot. I had actually had Tony be into Coffin because I didn't want Shrignold and Warren to be the only mlm characters I wrote in. I needed one that wasn't a gross weirdo. But then I was like "oh man, two greyros have crushes that won't go anywhere on other characters.... this is far too much romance." But then I said "fuck it, it's my self-indulgent fanfic, I'm shipping the horrible bugs."

So uh, no, actually.

[stabbydragon]

Ace pride idea

You know that game headbands where you wear one of these headbands, put a card in it, and you have to guess what the card is?

And you know that thing where an Ace of Spades is for aromantic asexuals, Ace of Hearts is for alloromantic asexuals, Ace of Clubs is for demisexuals or demiro aces, and Ace of Diamonds is for graysexuals (graces) and greyro aces?

Well next June, I’m going to buy one of those headbands and stick and ace of spades in it and just wear it everywhere

[shygirlbrenizquierdo2]

Happy Pride Month from Della Duck!

I made this drawing since June 2020 and thought I share it all to you.

At the moment I identify as aroace or greyro ace but I bet you all know that by now.

[lawofcollage]

This is the Romo Aro flag.

“A romantic aromantic, an opt in umbrella term for aros who are romance favorable, partnering, lovequeer, experience some amount of romantic attraction (ex greyros or arospecs), desire romantic attraction or relationships, or otherwise identify with the term. ; seems or feels “too romantic to be aromantic””

Redbubble, Threadless

Looking for a collection of pride flags year round? Check out my Coffee Table Book of Pride Flags full of fun queer art here!

[weheartstims]

The inbox is back open, but with a twist!

I’m planning on doing pride-themed stimboards throughout the whole month of June; from rainbows to greyros, from microlabels to macrolabels, you name it!

I will be posting the requests sitting in the drafts and inbox over the course of the month, but I will not be completing any new non-pride requests from this point until July 1st.

Happy early pride to you all!

[milordan]

🏳️‍🌈Happy Pride Month!🏳️‍⚧️

This month's question is themed. Tell me about your Steps' orientations. Do they identify differently from how you'd describe them? Has their orientation/attraction changed since their Sidestep era?

Hi cigs !! happy pride month (((:

Milo

How they identify: ???? girls pretty..... boys also pretty........

How I describe their identity: bi + ace / demiace ? doesn't really experience sexual attraction, except maybe to the people that she's romantically and/or sexually involved with

Has their orientation changed: nope !

- - -

Vanya

How they identify: gay man ! even when hes marta and feeling attraction towards ricardo in her body, he identifies as a gay man since he's still him and therefore a man (who is gay) (because he's not "really" a girl hes just in girl mode)

How I describe their identity: gay man/homosexual (: even when vanya eventually accepts and figures out that he's a girl, she's still a gay man and experiences his romantic and sexual attraction as gay and as a man. just sometimes he is also a woman, while being a gay man

Has their orientation changed: nope ! ricardo was his first crush + his sexual awakening, and he has identified as a gay man since his sidestep days because of it ! (but when (f!)dr mortum started flirting with marta, he did experiment with flirting back. bc marta is flirty, but also because he was checking if he could be bi and just hasn't had much experience/exposure to women. turns out he is not bi and marta is no longer flirting with the good doctor)

- - -

Sasja

How they identify: bi ig

How I describe their identity: ... greyro ? demiro ? probably asexual ?

Has their orientation changed: if he's experienced sexual attraction, it would have been in his sidestep days with julia. he doesn't feel about her the same way these days, and it's different with daniel too

- - -

Josef

How they identify: queer. more comfortable with labeling his sexuality than his gender identity because he actually has one and not the other

How I describe their identity: demi + queer. only attracted to his friends, but he is attracted to all two of them

Has their orientation changed: no. he considered chen his friend during his sidestep days and did have a little crush on him even though he never showed it bc he was already involved with julia, so there was no moment of thinking he was straight only to be like am i bi actually in retri. its always been just those two

- - -

Teddy

How they identify: straight

How I describe their identity: straight

Has their orientation changed: nope ! the game asks if that's changed what with him "pursuing" the good doctor (m!mortum) as his puppet, but that has nothing to do with his sexuality and has everything to do with him being evil and entertaining himself