#great use of my time

[daylightglitch]

im very new to tumblr sooo thank giving this attention <3

Happy 15 years of Dan and Phil <3

15 years of memories

[stemmmm]

more people gotta try this shit where bill has not improved and will not change but he's just chilling so its fine probably. its great

[cryptix23]

Imagine, if you will, a reboot of The Lost Room, as a full series with all intended content and maybe a couple more seasons. That's what I've been doing with my weekend -- imagining that, I mean; and also fancasting it because why not.

Doing some character analysis as well so there will be some spoilers. Go watch Lost Room.

Note I'm not super familiar with current TV, the most current thing I've watched was Poker Face, so my pool is limited and I'm open to other suggestions.

Probably won't matter but I'm imagining this still set in the early 2000s, because I choose to and because working modern social media into the story sounds like a headache.

Without further ado, fancasting.

Joe Miller

Original Actor: Peter Krause

Our main man, Joe. Joe Miller is competent, not book-smart but picks up on things fast -- he's an audience stand-in for a smart audience. Yes, he's a cop, but he's fictional so we won't hold that against him. He's the loving single father of a bright eight-year-old girl, whose disappearance becomes his main driving force. Violence is rarely his first resort, and he gets as far as he does often by just talking to people and asking them for help.

Joe has to be curious, charismatic, a little charmingly naive, occasionally intimidating, and deliver the extreme emotions of a man who would absolutely rip the world apart if it would get him his daughter back.

Fancast: David Castañeda

(Listen I told you up front that my most current watch was Poker Face. You were warned.)

I promise I'm not just fancasting Castañeda because he plays one of my favorite tough-yet-pathetic sadboys, Diego Hargreeves.

I am fancasting him because he is incredibly good at having eyes, and I genuinely think he would crush it as every aspect of Joe: The smart detective, the naive newcomer to a strange world, the grieving but determined father, the subdued rage facing Weasel and Ruber.

He'd bring a different vibe, sure, but what's the point of a reboot if you don't do something a little different with it?

Wally Jabrowski

Original Actor: Peter Jacobson

Wally is described by the showrunner (...somewhere, I swear, I think it was a reddit AMA but I can't find it now) as being a sort of chaotic neutral trickster figure. He's a weird little imp who wanders the countryside, consigning people to Hell (New Mexico) for any perceived slight. Joe manages to get on his good side using the Key and some sheer determination, so Wally helps him out and ends up becoming his first ally in the world of Objects. How does Wally know so much? Who knows. He's there to dispense key lore to our hapless hero, not talk about himself.

Wally keeps on helping Joe right up until it starts to jeopardize his own safety and comfort, at which point he backs out, because he is ultimately out for number one -- but he sticks his neck out pretty far for Joe before he hits that point.

The actor for Wally needs to be able to sell that gremlin energy, the self-centeredness undercut by a genuine friendship with this guy who refused to stay gone.

Fancast: Natasha Lyonne

Wait no stop hear me out. Listen. Am I biased because, as already mentioned several times, I just finished watching Poker Face? Absolutely. BUT. Tell me to my face that Natasha Lyonne does not have the perfect chaotic neutral gremlin energy to play Wally. Imagine the diner scene with her. Run any of Wally's lines through her charmingly fried voice. She's perfect.

You wouldn't even have to change the name, just some pronouns. Yeah, her name is Wally. Is it short for something? Maybe. Doesn't matter. Enjoy Hell.

The only further casting choice that I'm confident in is--

Suzie Kang

Original Actor: Margaret Cho

Suzie Kang is an information broker. She can dig up information about Objects in a flash and will sell that information to whoever is buying -- although she doesn't come cheap. She never touches the Objects herself, though. She's smarter than that.

Kang is a self-assured businesswoman who knows what's what and has carved her place into it. She has no interest in morality and actively refuses to work with the Legion given that they keep removing Objects from circulation. She'll happily upcharge if you seem new, or desperate, or if she knows you're good for it.

Fancast: Stephanie Hsu

'Did you just cast everyone from the shit mountain episode' SHUT UP

Stephanie Hsu was amazing in EEAAO and, yes, Poker Face, and I think she'd pull off Suzie Kang's amoral self-confidence really well, not to mention Kang's teenage mall-goth sense of style. I can see her delivering the unironic "Those things'll kill you" line with the cigarette burning in her fingers, and that's important.

I'm not settled on any of my other casting choices, but I have ideas for a couple more.

Howard "The Weasel" Montague

Original Actor: Robert Bart

The Weasel is my favorite character in this show and he is such a specific kind of endearingly pathetic little bastard man that casting him is tricky.

Howard Montague is an ex philosophy professor turned small-time criminal and Object hunter, whose main goal is to find the Prime Object, for unknown purposes. He's the first villain we see and kind of sets the tone for the series with his cocksure attitude and unhesitating, physics-defying double homicide. Weasel isn't dumb, but thinks he's smarter than he is, and has a hard time letting go of ideas he's sure of -- contrasting with Joe's ability to think outside the box.

He's vicious in the way that a little dog is vicious, he will bite but he needs the confidence of a weapon like the Pen to pull off any kind of intimidation, otherwise he's kind of just adorable.

He's also just... made to be a henchman. He falls into working alongside Joe so easily when they hit Kreutzfeld's, this man should not be in a leadership position, he is made to be right-hand man. (I have... many headcanons about this, but I will stick with canon for this post.)

Finding someone to fit this specific concept has been difficult, but here's some of the candidates I've considered (and why they do and don't fit the bill).

Potential Fancast: Aidan Gallagher

Back to casting from TUA. Aidan Gallagher as Five proved that he can absolutely play a weird vicious little man who thinks he's the smartest person in the room and you kinda want to punch him for it. The reversed dynamic with his and Castañeda's characters would be entertaining. Unfortunately Gallagher is nowhere near old enough to be an ex professor, not to mention Joe throwing around someone that much younger would have a much worse vibe.

(Gallagher would be great as a longtime Object user, though. Consider him as Harold Stritzke, perhaps.)

Potential Fancast: Con O'Neill

Izzy Hands from OFMD is another favorite pathetic little bastard man and O'Neill could definitely pull it off. I'd buy him as a philosophy prof, too. The problem is... Con O'Neill is intimidating. I buy that he would murder someone, but he would not need the Pen to do it. (As my boyfriend agreed, "he'd just use a regular pen.")

Potential Fancast: Aldis Hodge

Hodge has the least 'weird little guy' energy here, but his role as Hardison in Leverage proves that he can pull that off. Philosophy professor, sure. Small-time criminal, sure. Smart, but not quite as smart as he thinks he is, sure. My hesitation here is that I don't think I've ever seen Hodge vicious. I struggle to see him committing a casual murder, and that's a pretty important part of the character.

Ah, well. I will think further on it.

Karl Kreutzfeld

Original Actor: Kevin Pollack

Karl Kreutzfeld is a wealthy man, an ex member of the Legion, who began collecting Objects and has amassed a pretty impressive collection. He still needs more, though, with the particular goal of the Eye -- which he needs to cure his beloved son Isaac's leukemia. It's obvious from pretty early on that he's not a good man, but his goals seem reasonable, and he and Joe strike up an alliance over their apparently shared goal of saving their children. What's a little burglary and attempted murder between friends?

Spoilers, but if you've gotten this far into a Lost Room post you know or don't care: Karl is the Big Bad. His son has been dead for some years, and he wants specific Objects not to heal him but to rewrite the universe to bring him back. And if that breaks the universe in the process -- so be it.

Karl serves as a sort of dark mirror to Joe. They're both fathers driven to extremes to protect their children. Joe at one point says that he would break the world to get his daughter back -- Karl has the money, resources, and ruthlessness to actually do it.

Karl can be played by someone who usually plays villains, because him being a bad guy is not a particular surprise. It's the depth to which he is willing to go that comes out of left field and leaves you (and Joe) reeling. Until that twist comes out, though, he has to be ruthless but also charming, a loving father, and someone Joe would reasonably trust despite all evidence otherwise. Someone Joe could physically push around is also ideal, given the kidnapping scene.

I had trouble with fancasting this one, but I really like my bf's suggestion.

Potential Fancast: Giancarlo Esposito

Now, I haven't seen Breaking Bad or Better Call Saul (look, I'll get to it) but I know Esposito by reputation (and by his role in Abigail, which was great). He might be a little too big for a weird genre show these days, but goddamn if he wouldn't kill it as Karl.

I don't have specific ideas for the rest of the cast, unfortunately.

Jennifer Bloom

Original Actor: Julianna Margulies

Jennifer Bloom is in product development for a cereal company, whatever that means, but we never see her at her day job (I somehow got the idea she was in real estate, not that it matters either way.) More importantly, she's a Legion member, one of the two that are ever named (counting Arjun, not counting Karl or Marco). She genuinely believes in the Legion's goals of removing the Objects from circulation, having seen firsthand how they drove her brother insane. Jennifer's goals are loftier than Joe's and she has a little bit of that 'ends justify the means' mentality, but not such that she's willing to hurt him over it, or even refuse him information when he needs it. She's not above a little subterfuge, though. There are hints that she has a temper, and that she's a little more vicious than she lets on (with a particular hatred for betrayal, real or perceived), but those traits don't show through often. She believes in the Legion's code against killing and is strongly affected when she's forced to kill in self-defense, but later when shit goes down with Karl she doesn't hesitate and even has a little quip to go with it.

It might just be me, having rewatched the series too many times, but a few watches in I got the vibe that she was supposed to be a red herring -- that we the audience (or possibly Joe) are meant to think she is slipping information to Karl. She's not, but there's a few scenes where you could get that idea. Hitting a little harder on that could introduce some good conflict and foreshadow the actual mole more.

Should this reboot be a continuing series, Jennifer would have a lot to reckon with in the aftermath of the last episode. Her high-and-mighty organization was sold out, most of them are dead, she's attempted murder, and her boyfriend Santa Claus'd himself into semi-godhood.

Who would play her? No idea. There's a lot of great actors out there who could play this part well. The most important elements, I think, are chemistry with Joe and the emotional depth to show how well she is -- or isn't -- handling her world getting turned upside-down.

Dr Martin Ruber

Original Actor: Dennis Christopher

(Sidenote, finding a picture of this guy was so hard, wtf)

Ah, him. This motherfucker. What a tool.

A forensic scientist, Ruber is initially friendly with our detectives, banters with Lou and Joe, and tries to protect Joe. In the meantime, however, his curiosity leads to him seeking out the Objects, and very quickly dives headlong into obsession before he's even directly interacted with one.

Initially unassuming, witty, kind of mousy, Ruber quickly becomes unhinged enough to kill Lou over the Key. Failing to take it, he sets another man on fire to join the Order, and then backstabs them when he has another chance at the Key. By the end of the series he's well on his way to becoming a full-on cult leader with delusions of prophet-hood, handily setting him up as the next Big Bad after Karl.

A fun role for whoever plays this guy, but no idea who that ought to be.

Anna Miller

Original Actor: Elle Fanning

Anna is a bright eight-year-old girl whose first instinct when presented with a magic door is to throw things in there and see what happens. She also has a beloved stuffed animal named Lester Boneyfish. The kid is a born scientist.

She gets kidnapped and then spends most of the series stuck in the Room, so mostly you need a child actor with good delivery and a decent scream. In a continuing series she might be called on to do more, but as is she could be played by anyone.

(I can NOT find good pictures of any of these other characters and Tubi doesn't allow screenshots, might edit something in later but for now you'll have to take my word for it. Or go watch Lost Room.)

Lou Destefano

Original Actor: Chris Bauer

Joe's partner, a good friend who's encouraging him through his custody issues and tries to keep him and Anna happy and occupied. The only person Joe reveals the Key to, and reacts to it well. A great guy all around. Shame he dies at the end of the first episode.

Since he's the first one to die, he should probably be a white guy. He could be played by a bigger-name actor, too, since he'll only be there for a small part. Otherwise, no ideas.

Lee Bridgewater

Original Actor: April Grace

Another Philly detective. Lee has daughters of her own and is friendly with Joe and Anna. When the two of them disappear, Lee points out how bad it looks for Joe, but Lou still suggests her as the first person they reveal the Key to. She's got a good head on her shoulders and doesn't freak out about things. After Lou's murder, she's the first to be skeptical about Ruber's story.

Joe tries to keep her out of all this, even when she arrests him, but that goes down the drain when Ruber hits her with the Cards. From that point on Lee suffers from contextless nightmares about the Motel. She goes after Ruber and fully would have shot him if he hadn't had the Glasses.

Lee is a tough character going through some serious shit without any of the support network Joe manages to pick up, and in a continuing series would probably go through a lot more -- seeing as that motherfucker Ruber is her only source of information on what the hell is going on. Like Jennifer, this character needs someone with a lot of emotional depth to convey just how much she's going through, and I'm not sure just who that is.

The Sood

Original Actor: Jason Antoon

Like Suzie Kang, The Sood is an information broker who works out of a bookshop in Vegas. He has a somewhat more sophisticated set-up, but he also caters to a more exclusive clientele.

I have no strong opinions on who should play him... as long as they can do the Eyes.

[narwhalsarefalling]

my mother taught me to crochet when i was young. she was left handed, so she taught me how in the bathroom mirror so her hands would be in the right position.

she learned to crochet from her grandmother, who was right handed. her grandma was the one that originally used the bathroom mirror to teach her granddaughter properly.

i find something poetic about that. here in this bathroom mirror, through generations, we adapt to our young who have a different way of learning and interacting with the world

[egophiliac]

can't believe that skeleman has turned on us, and Halloween Prom is tomorrow.

(what a top-tier UM...we are about to be just totally obliterated in the absolute silliest way. what possible use could this power have outside of bringing us to the brink of utter holiday disaster.)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy one year anniversary to In Stars and Time!

[uncharted-constellations]

The Princess and Hero of the First Great Calamity

The orange snoot is very important to me….

[weaselmcdiesel]

Do You Love The Color Of The 413?

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[charlietheepicwriter7]

It was easy to lure the newest Titan away from the rest, back the boy into a corner. He was the weakest link, the newest hero, the easiest to manipulate-

Then, the ghost child transformed, glowing rings passing over his body to reveal a familiar black-haired boy. "Uncle Slade, what the fuck are you doing?"

[keferon]

The tac net crash chapter is one of my favorites so far~

Ah and. Guess what. I just discovered that including this post, I made 50 pieces of fanart for Mistakes on mistakes until.. I’m so sane and normal about this story can you tell👍

[deadringers2023]

THE WITCH (2015) dir. Robert Eggers

[chipper-smol]

binary stars being dramatic as always

(happy isat anniversary \o/)

[shouyuus]

OH MY FUCKKK. college roomate!vi is fucking killing meeee. the last one made me literally squeal when i read about vi's vape 😩😩 i am a silly little smoker myself and i was wondering if you'd write something about vi introducing reader to smoking? like one night they're sitting and talking on the couch, maybe watching a movie or something and vi whips out her lost mary (i KNOW thats what she'd smoke) and reader asks kinda out of nowhere to have a hit, and vi laughs a little and then teaches her how to use it (it is an art form), and their faces keep getting closer and closer and they're basically kissing because they're hitting from the same vape, right? RAAAHHHHHH 😩

college roommate!vi cinematic universe not me having to google the brand but yES ur rite she woULD

+18, no sex but vape usage, mdni

"l-like that?"

"yeah, just like that -- breathe in -- hold it -- breathe out --"

you let out a soft groan, the "cherry peach lemonade" flavored smoke slipping from the corners of your lips in streams, vi's eyes flickering down and back up again, her own lips parted, her pupils dark.

"it's -- it's a good flavor," you say, blinking as you hand the vape back to vi, who grins and takes a long hit, leaning back slow, one hand on the vape, the other slung lazily across the sofa back, letting the smoke unfurl from her mouth. you watch, mesmerized as she rounds out her lips and blows out little smoke rings just to make you laugh.

"yeah, it's nice," vi says, her voice soft as she glances back at you, at the way your eyes have gone just a bit hazy. she leans forward, tugging your chin towards her with a thumb and forefinger, a mischievous grin sweeping across her face.

"open your mouth for me, pretty girl."

you do, letting your mouth fall slack as vi takes another long hit and blows the smoke into your mouth. like this, you can feel the cool of the smoke, the warmth of her breath, the strange duality sending tingles shooting down your back, a coil tightening in your gut as you breath in.

your lashes flutter as the high slips through your body, the weightlessness gathering in your loosening muscles.

"i-i've seen people do that before --" you say, grasping for something to fill the strange, ethereal silence, "at parties," you clarify, hoping for... you're not entirely sure what.

vi chuckles, "yeah? it's called shotgunning. it's... a bit gentler than just taking a hit straight from the vape so --"

she pulls you towards her again, this time, you lean in and your lips are so close you can feel the heat of her skin against yours.

you open your mouth without her prompting, and you don't miss the way her pupils dilate at the motion. and just for a second, you can taste your own heartbeat -- the sweet cherry peach lemonade tang of it at the back of your throat -- before vi's blowing another steady stream of smoke into you and you're breathing it in, tasting her -- wondering if her lips would be just as sweet without all the flavored smoke --

"there... think that's enough for you for tonight?" vi asks, pulling back with a grin.

you lick your lips, glancing at the tv screen.

"we've missed like... half the movie."

vi laughs, grabbing for the remote, "yeah well. we were busy. luckily, there's a rewind button."

you keep quiet as she rewinds through the parts of the movie the both of you missed, your mind a berry-tinted haze of half-formed thoughts. you inch closer to her, pressing your thigh to hers, letting your head drop onto her shoulder.

"thanks, vi," you say, your eyes cast towards the tv but not really seeing it at all.

she stills beneath your touch.

"what for, princess?"

you nuzzle your head deeper into her neck, "nothing just... glad you're here."

after a beat, vi curls an arm around your shoulder and gives you a squeeze.

"i'll always be here, princess. whenever you need me. and even if you don't. got it?"

you giggle, closing your eyes and letting the bright neons of the movie play out behind your eyelids like the passing of so many days and nights.

"i'll always need you, vi... even if you think i don't." and your voice is so, slow, honest. so honest that vi feels her chest squeeze. she settles for brushing her lips along the seam of your hair.

"then i guess we're stuck with each other for the long haul, aren't we princess?"

you let out a sleepy little laugh, nodding.

"yeah. guess we are."

[vonlipvig]

fun date idea <3

[futuristichedge]

The most well adjusted apocalypse survivor