#gotta try that sometime. maybe commission it one day

[whelpimnauthuman]

So I just got my ice vest! MIL ordered 2 by accident (Spouse had asked if she could buy them bc Prime, she assumed it was for Spouse and BIL), so now I have so many ice packs. Like, as long as I have a cooler with me, I can take what I'm using, replace it with another frozen set, still have more left over.

I feel like the T-Rex with the grabbers

[mochatsin]

WHEN MC CAN DRAW

Drawing and the arts is one of the things you’re most passionate about. There’s a lot of things, and certain demons, that are out there to give you inspiration to draw. How will the brothers react when they find out you’re a great artist?

literally in the middle of drawing when I thought about this and i'm wondering why it took me this long to think of an Artist!MC prompt damn. Enjoy reading!

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Lucifer

He already had a vague idea that you have a keen eye for the arts when he took you to a gallery once. You’re familiar with a lot of paintings in the human realm, but none of them could quite compare to the styles down here in Devildom.

Lucifer wanted to teach you more about the cultures of Devildom through painted histories and stories which is why he took you to the gallery, and he notices how observant you are of the details on the artwork. He assumed maybe you’re just very educated with the arts up in your world.

Though one day he found you in your room trying to draw a piece with the styles similar to the paintings you both saw the other day. The linework and colors are very on point, Lucifer would have assumed this wasn’t done by your own hands if he saw it displayed on the walls. 

“You’re quite talented if you drew all this after just one art gallery tour.” Lucifer says as he moves closer to further inspect your art. If you ask him how to improve it or how the method works, he would be happy to give you some tips or pointers. 

“As impressive as this is, I would like to see something you’ve made in your own style.” Lucifer would want you to show something that speaks more about you, not about Devildom. He’s curious to see what makes your art style original. He wants to see you take pride in whatever you create of course. 

He’d love to have one of your artworks be framed somewhere in the house. You can use his office for that peace and quiet so that none of his brothers would disturb you while you worked. Lucifer wanted it framed in his room for him to enjoy, though after his brother’s protests and one heated dinner discussion, the piece was placed in the living room instead for everyone. 

Mammon

Mammon doesn’t really have the best sense of boundaries when it comes to your room, so he ends up barging through the doors to see what you were up to and maybe try to whisk you away for a bit of gambling for the evening. Though he finds you on your desk doing some homework, papers scattered on your bed.

You tell him you’re busy working on a project so he whines but stays with you in your room. You have homework about summoning circles so you had several discarded drafts resting on your bed. Mammon can’t help but go through the papers while he waits out of pure boredom. 

Mammon eventually spots under the pile a few of your own personal artworks you’ve made. You forgot to keep them away since they got buried underneath all those papers. “EY!! This ain’t part of a class project right?! This looks freakin’ fantastic!” 

You can tell he’s being genuine about his compliments just by seeing the look on his face. “I-I'm not just sayin’ that cuz you’re my human! I know a gold mine when I see one yaknow?” Mammon says while he goes through the pile to see if there are more works out there for him to admire. He might be tempted to steal one of them just so he can piece of something you’re passionate about so close to him. 

He would definitely urge you to sell some of them for profit, put up commissions online or advertise it on RAD. At first you wondered if this was part of his money-making schemes… he admits it was at first but he wants you to succeed in this if it’s something you genuinely want to do.

“You gotta cut me some slack sometimes ya know? I bet you’ll make bank outta this. I know my old plans for quick grimm haven't worked out, but this one I'm SURE won’t fail” his enthusiasm is almost contagious. Regardless of your decision, Mammon is happy enough to sit back and enjoy your artwork. 

Levi

He is going to be so ecstatic knowing that you’re actually really good at drawing in any form of medium. Levi found out one day when he asked to borrow your notes for class and you lend him your notebook. He was flipping through the pages until he noticed that you’ve been doing little doodles at the back. “I-is that…”

Your peaceful little afternoon got chaotic when you heard an excited scream from down the hall, followed by rampant footsteps that got louder in a matter of seconds until your door opened. Levi has your notebook in hand, with the biggest grin plastered on his face. 

“Y-YOU COULD DRAW RURI-CHAN?!” Levi doesn’t even give you the time to speak when he shows you the doodles and starts going on a rant on how you captured the details of her outfit so perfectly. Even the magic staff is actually on point! 

There’s times he would be peeking by your door while you’re doodling something in your room. Levi wanted to ask if you could draw his favorite characters but he’s too shy to do so, but he’ll be the happiest when you agree to it. 

“I-if you need the references i have a few!” He would say ‘few’ but ends up giving you what’s almost an entire album of art references that you could use. If you want, he can even take the figurines of said characters off his shelf (which is rare) so you can have a better look at it from all angles. 

Levi would definitely have it posted on the walls, keeping all your artworks like a new collection. He would gush about how he wishes he could draw because it’s another way of expressing your love for something you care about. Would definitely commission you for certain things because he doesn’t want to keep asking you for free art.

Satan

Recently he got you hooked on this detective novel series, and you both spend a lot of time together just talking about your favorite parts. Satan loves that chase scene between the detective and thief since it was written so well, it’s almost like you can play the scene in your head.

He’s with you in his room, sitting on the couch with the book propped up by your knees. He assumes you’re just rereading the book and does his own thing. He likes that about your company where the silence is comforting, though there are times you ask Satan what he thinks the detective or the thief looks like in his head.

By the time Satan had to answer one more query that he realized you’re not actually reading the book. He sees that you’re holding onto a pen as you scribble something behind the book, so he decides to sneak behind you while you’re distracted out of curiosity.

He’s surprised to find you drawing on a notebook, looking at the chapter of the book with the chase scene that he mentioned the other day. “You’re… drawing the scene?” He asked, the corners of his lips tugging into a smile. He’s impressed that you got the compositions so well too. To him, you brought this scene to life. 

“Is this why you were asking me all those questions? Well, I’d say you perfectly captured the scene and-” He’d talk about the details you’ve drawn and how it matches what’s written in the book, like a professional critique. He’d love to see the piece once you finish, and even see all your other works you’ve done in the past as well. One cat drawing would make him excited for sure. 

One time you made him a bookmark by using your art for the designs. The brothers know that Satan doesn’t use those as often because he tends to finish books in one sitting, but he began to have that cute little bookmark pressed between the pages of his current book. Not only is the design so perfect, it’s from his precious human too.

Asmo

Asmo is adoring the attention he’s been getting from you recently whenever he would make a little fashion show in his room with all the new outfits he’s bought. He loves the awe he hears from you and how you eye him up and down after he strikes a pose. 

He even saw you buying a magazine with him on the cover, and he just can’t help but feel giddy at the thought of how much you probably adore him because who wouldn’t? You must really love how he looks, right? Asmo even thought of giving you a private show just for your eyes. 

Though he found out eventually that you’re using the poses in his magazines as reference when he saw that you’re trying to copy the pose he made on the cover. “I’m rather offended that you didn’t reference me, the source material itself! I’m always ready to be your model, hun!” 

Asmo would make the perfect model because being in model magazines, he’s used to holding on poses for periods of time without complaint. He’s not shy about his body either so you can ask him to be in any sort of pose for you (but you have to stop him from being not so family friendly when you try to fix his position).

If you’re good at designing clothes then Asmo is going to fall for you even harder. He would admire all the designs you can do, and if you’re open to suggestions then as someone who works and shops frequently at Majolish, he would have a lot of good ideas. He’ll have the connections to make your designs come to life and model it for you.

“I just know if you posted these fine works on Devilgram, it’ll get you tons of views for sure! Especially if the muse is me” Asmo says with a wink as he admires your art. If you made an account then he’ll be loud about it on his social media, wanting people to feast their eyes on it.

Beel

He does a lot of home workouts so often you spot him doing a lot of stretches or lifts around the house. There’s even times you offer to help like sitting on his back while he does his push ups or just being his little moral support. 

Though he noticed all the attention you’re giving on his muscles recently. You offered to wipe off the dirt and sweat he got from his Fangol practice, and Beel sees how much you’re staring intently at his muscles while you wipe him dry with a towel. “MC… is there something wrong?” 

It's only then you realize that your eyes have been glued to him for so long so you decide to explain. You tell Beel that you’ve been sketching recently with someone of his body type but you can’t seem to get the muscles correctly. Hearing that makes Beel smile though. 

“Well, if you want me to help I could. But I want to see your works, if that’s okay with you” Beel said. He’s not much of an artist himself (Satan notes that Beel’s art still haunts him to this day), so he’s very supportive knowing that you can draw.  

He has this awe in his face like how he looks when the restaurant serves him the biggest platter of food as soon as he sees your artworks. Beel is happy you’re sharing such talent with him. “This piece is so colorful. It reminds me of the rainbow layered parfait we had the other day… oh, now I'm hungry.” Even if Beel can eat books and things that aren’t exactly food, he never once tried that with your artworks. 

He’d invite you more often to his little home workouts so you can study his muscles more closely. Beel would love it if you sit on his back while he does push ups as you draw. The sound of the pencil scribbling would bring him to focus.  

Belphie

There’s an upcoming event for RAD that requires a lot of decorations. Since a lot of people are busy with their own tasks, you and Belphie were paired up to think of possible decor for the stage.

Belphie complained how Asmo or Levi should’ve been here instead but since they’re both in charge of the outfits, then he’ll settle with this because at least it requires minimal work. You both were trying to discuss the backdrop designs and the props but he fell asleep midway. 

Belphie wakes up in a few minutes later to the sound of scribbling pens when he saw you creating the designs. You asked him to pick from one of the sets you made but he’s too stunned to even decided when all of them are so good. “You made all of that while I was asleep?” Belphie is in a state of disbelief. 

The one that struck him the most is the starry sky landscape. For someone who loves to watch the stars, this one was particularly mesmerizing for Belphie. So out of personal bias he chose that one.

He never stopped bugging you about your art, always wanting to see what you’re drawing when he spots you on your notebook. He’s not much of a ‘draw me next’ kind of person, but he’d be absolutely happy if you did. More so if you drew him and Beel together. 

Whenever you’re drawing, Belphie wants to take a nap by your lap while you do your work. He likes the look you make whenever you’re trying to figure out something in your art before he drifts off to sleep. His favorite part is waking up to see that you’ve already finished your piece so he gets to admire it first.

[dutifullyscreechingdragon]

Blitzø X human!assassin! Reader

First encounter

Summary: Blitzø gets a commission for your murder. Naturally, you'd prefer not to get murdered. Unlike his previous victims, you actually have the skills to avoid bullets... And to charm the imp.

A/n: This is the first part of the short series. I will definitely post at least two more parts. Here you have links to all the parts currently available:

Part 1: First Encounter -> you're here:)

Part 2: Blooming feelings

You were an assassin

But unlike Blitzø, you were selective in your targets. You didn't JUST kill. You killed the worst of the worst: rapists, murderers, basically the scum of the Earth

No wonder, you ended up on Blitzø's hit list. You had a lot of enemies in hell, it was only a matter of time, until one of them commissioned your death.

Yes, your line of job was dangerous and demanded killing people. You know what else it demanded? Not being killed in return

Which is why Blitzø's first assault on you failed miserably:

You were walking down the street, minding your business, really. You were off work (aka not killing people at the moment). A rare occasion, which is why you decided to use it to the max and enjoy your day to the fullest. So yes, you were making your way down the street.

That's when the shooting started. To say you were pissed would be an understatement of the year.

"Come on" you grumbled falling to the ground, trying to avoid the bullets "Why can't I have a single day without having to fight for my life?"

Blitzø didn't expect this to be a hard job.

He didn't think of you as a strong or capable, for that matter, oponent.

You didn't think this fight would last long.

You didn't think your assailant was very much capable either.

Needless to say, both of you were very much wrong.

Half an hour has gone by and your fight was still in progress. You were currently behind a car, which was starting to get filled with more and more bullet holes.

"Hey! Maybe stop wasting bullets?" You shouted in frustration.

"Wouldn't have to if you just died" you got a reply. You rolled your eyes. "And anyways, why are you bitching about my shooting? Like you could do better" his voice was grumpy, like a small child about to throw a tantrum

"Yeah, I actually could. I'd kill you with one"

"Why haven't ya then?"

"I forgot my gun at home" was your pissed reply

You heard laughter from the other side of your impromptu hiding spot.

"Haha that fucking sucks for ya, bitch"

"Yeah, I figured that much..." You said in resignation.

You risked a glance from behind the car and earned yourself a rain of bullets.

That's how you spent the next 20 minutes: exchanging quips, followed by series of machine gun fire and repeat.

Sometimes you had to change your place of cover, seeing as the assailant managed to destroy it or approach you from the side.

And finaly, time came for the question:

"Why'd you want to kill me anyway?"

"Well, hmmmm" the shooting stopped for a moment. 'Guess we're back to talking', you thought.

"How do I say it?" He continued nonchalantly "I got a comission to kill ya. Got paid hard cash for it. So soz, but ya gotta go babe. Nooooo hard feelings" he said in a childish, mocking voice.

"Oh! Who was it?"

"Whaaaat?"

"I mean, who payed for my ticket to the other side?" You clarified.

"Uhh just some dude named-"

"Wait! No! Let me guess" he didn't protest, so you started listing off names:

"Was it... Rogers? Adams? Smith? It must've been Smith, that son of a gun had it out for me" seeing as he didn't confirm it, you continued, "Not Smith, then. Uhhh Carols? Barnes? Danvers? No? Was it the leader of that cartel I shut down a month ago?"

Finally Blitzø had to interrupt and actually tell you who it was. He was startled (and slightly impressed) by how many people actualy wanted you dead

When he ran out of bullets, time came for hand to hand combat. You didn't disappoint him in this area either.

Aaaand you got a chance to get a better look at the guy. Though.... you had your doubts whether it was a 'guy'... His skin was red, with some white marks, and he had horns, long, curving slightly towards the end. From your rich experience with human beings, he definitely wasn't one...

You ducked from a punch coming your way and retaliated with a sweeping roundhouse kick.

"What's" you said between the heavy breaths of exhaustion "your... Name?"

He raised an eyebrow, "Blitzø, the o is silent" he breathed out "Yours?"

"Y/n" you replied

"Cool" he replied as a few more punches came your way. A bit later he continued:

"Now if you'd let me do my job..."

"Gosh, you're so stupid. This is so inefficient" you stopped abruptly, causing him to stop as well.

"I can't just let you go. I have to kill you!"

"Ugghhh, don't you get it? You should wait until your have at least 5 more murder requests for me. That way you get quantuple the amount of money. Gosh you're so stupid "

"So, you don't mind me killing you? Cuz, you see, that's kind of hard to believe, sweetcheecks"

"Look, I'm telling you the most efficient way to use your resources. I'm not telling you I'd be an easy kill...."

"Well I guess I could-" Blitzo was cut off by an explosion. The air was filled with smoke. In one swift movement, you jumped over a fence and a few minutes later you were on your merry way home.

You see, you weren't just idly hiding from the bullets.

You didn't have ammo, but you had knowledge and... Some chemicals you forgot to unpack from your bag. With your limited supply, you managed to produce some semblance of a smoke bomb.

And that's how you got away.

Blitzø tracked you down again. And you escaped. So he found you again, and you managed to avoid death oncemore

At first, you took your 'rivalry' seriously, you really did. But there's only that many times you can engage in mortal combat with a person before it becomes ridiculous to deny that there is more to it than just killing each other.

You realised, that you started to look forward to Blitzø's surprise attacks. And Blitzø realised that maybe sometimes he has been throwing off his aim on purpose

Both of you were scared to admit your feelings, but the whole endeavour was starting to cross the line to absurdity

Something needed to be done about it

So..... You took the initiative:

It was another fight. It was becoming a routine by now. This one, however, would end with a small twist

The smoke bomb went off, you could hear the shattering of glass and the revving of the motorbike. Y/n was gone.

"And she's gone..." Blitzø stated and was about to leave through the portal, when Moxxie pulled his sleeve:

"Sir, there's a card on the floor"

Blitzo picked it up, it was a note. In a neat handwriting the following was written:

Despite being sent to kill me

(and failing miserably),

you're chill

Call me:)

314 159 2653

You got a text this very evening

A/n: that's part 1! Hope you liked it:) The second part will encompass your and Blitzo's developing relationship… so.... Stay tuned ig

(I'll probably post it somewhere around 6th or 7th May?)

[urrameshi]

A Shot of Espresso

takami keigo x f!reader ≧◡≦

authors note: okay hiiii been writing for a long time, but never really posted before but i’m gonna try! didn’t proof read this ok xoxo also this is a repost from my old blog lolololol

Being in a secret relationship with one of the most famous heroes in the world, really boosted your ego. That meant sneaking into your place outside of the city after late patrols or pretending to ‘save you’ only to sneak you away somewhere hidden for a quick lunch or a quickie.

Was it ideal? Fuck no, you wanted to be shown off. Keigo wanted to show you off like a shining diamond. You were amazing, strong, and just stunning but he was also terrified. The city was just getting more dangerous and while he knew you could handle your own, he couldn’t help but be protective of you.

This morning was different, he told his sidekicks to amp up patrols today, that he would be out of town for a bit. Nothing major, but just long enough he wouldn’t be able to do anything heroic that morning. He had stayed the night with you a few times before, but he would always leave before the crack of dawn.

Early bird gets the worm, or whatever.

He was yours. For the first time, since the start of your relationship he was yours. You weren’t the most romantic person, But this was something you needed. You didn’t wanna have to share him all the time. You were both heroes, you both had busy

You felt his body move next to you. He was trying to be sneaky, was he really trying to sneak out like a teenager?

“Keigo? It’s too early for you to leave. You’re mine this morning, not the world’s.”

“Oh little bird, I’m sorry I know I said I would stay but you know I have a huge day, and that big interview tonight!. Still gotta keep the Commission happy.” You rolled your eyes, rolling over as he threw the covers off. Not before sneaking a peak at his ass you loved so much.

Best of both worlds came with Kegio Takami. He was your world but he belonged to the world. There was never truly enough of him to go around and he knew that. Didn’t stop him from trying to make it work though.

You weren’t anything special enough you guessed for the commission for you both to be seen together. You questioned when the news would break and both of your worlds would be shaken up. Maybe he needed some shaking in that area of his life. You weren’t one to be insecure about anything but with somebody like Keigo, it was hard not to get in your head sometimes.

-

The rest of the afternoon passed without seeing Keigo, “he was such busy, busy bird.” you thought to yourself a bit sarcastically. You wouldn’t see him till much later tonight after he would sneak into your place, and get something to snack on and depending the time, just get in bed and wrap himself around you.

After the rest of your day was much less eventful, you decided to turn in early and watch this interview with ‘The Number 2 Hero, Hawks!!’ Social media was busy, you couldn’t wait.

“Ha! I know him more than you do.” you held the last syllable on the do, stringing it out longer to sing. Joking with yourself out loud and in replies to tweets you were scrolling through helped you feel bad. you swore it did.

The interview was finally starting.

“Tonight everybody we’re here with the best up and comer we’ve had in awhile! Hawks!” The cute host gestured to the entrance where Takami walked out, and the crowd went insane. Everybody loved the flying hero! You couldn’t even lie to yourself, feeling your whole body grow hotter as you watched him on your screen.

You laughed it off, ‘God! You’re acting like a teenage fangirl! he was literally in your bed this morning!’

“Thank you so much for having me tonight! I remember watching my favorite heroes on the show when I was younger!”

“Oh Hawks, you’re always the people’s hero! So you know me, let’s get the cat out of the bag! A lot of rumors are around lately, who’s the lucky girl?”

Oh no! the moment your anxiety had been dreading, he wouldn't say a word to just keep up appearances and it would honestly crush you. maybe you just didn’t know what it was like, but pro hero or not. It shouldn’t have mattered.

Takami threw his head back laughing. “Wow! Really coming in hot, huh?”

“You know, i always come in blazing!”

“It’s funny actually, and i’m gonna get some flack for this but yeah i am seeing somebody actually.” Your mouth dropped! The crowd cheered and screamed, the energy in that studio must have been off the charts!

“That’s how we start a show, ladies and gentlemen! With news you don’t get anywhere else! Tell us about them, Hawks, pretty please?”

You were hugging a couch pillow close to your chest now, “Yes hawks, tell us about her.”

It took him a moment to reply, getting himself more comfortable in his chair. “Well you know, i’m protective so I'm not actually gonna say who it is.” He told her, getting a bit of whining from the crowd. “but I can tell you, they’re like a shot of espresso. it’s like feeling sunshine for the first time. it’s really something special i don’t know if i’ve ever had for myself before, if i’m being honest.”

A Shot. of. Espresso.

It was official you were acting like a teenage fangirl, absolutely swooned by Takami. What a cheesy way to explain it! Every doubt of your relationship had melted away almost immediately.

You were prepared to return the affection when he snuck in after the show. Dealing with everything that could come from this would have to wait till tomorrow. When Takami was here with you, its the only world that mattered.

[drawloverlala]

May Status Update

It’s May! well basically like an hour into it lol 😆, anyways I wanted to write an entry about stuff and the progress on my current commission batch! 

Commission batch work in progress:

🌸 Commissions without background: 11 in total

1 still not started

3 still on sketch phase

1 is on base colors

5 are finished! 

🌸 Commissions with background: 4 in total

still not started: 2

sketch in progress: 3

from last time I got 2 commissions more, that before I was waiting on which listing they were supposed to belong to, it was basically 1 and 1 from each one! 

and yeah, I’m hoping to keep making progress on these this new month! and I’m looking forward to try some other stuff as well!

some more ramblings under the line here

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I recently finished some notebooks I was working on since the beginning of this year, and I’m hoping to be able to sell them on Facebook maybe? I don’t intend to make too much with them since, they’re still far from very professional looking notebooks 😅, but I’m also wanting to invest on more supplies, and I’m taking notes as well to keep learning how to make these better!

I certainly learned a lot during the process of making these XD, I made a lot of mistakes as well lol 

Also, here you can see the 2 designs I did, I did another one but the printer ran out of ink and I couldn’t use it lol, (another thing I gotta invest in the future is inks or maybe a new printer lol) and you can see here my Cinch machine! 

honestly I’m super tired, I finished these today and I had to store all materials and such again... and ugh... I seriously NEED a shelf to put all these machines and supplies, every time I’m going to use them I gotta take them all out of boxes and they are all under more boxes...gotta put them on boxes again and put everything again in order next to my bed..it also doesn’t look all too nice in there, so I’m going to start seriously looking for shelves next month 😆 

Other thing I wanted to ramble about, I recently got into Inkblot!  it’s a new art site, it has like around 1 year I think?, it’s still in development but so far it’s been pretty alright, Here’s my site so far:

I’ve been wanting to use it to put all my commission art, I’ve finally catch up to last year’s work, so I can start posting this year work! I also want to put my other works here, kinda using it as a general gallery like the one I had with Deviant art.

There’s still so much I haven’t put here, but slowly filling with art! still doesn’t feel as my old DA’s gallery and sometimes the site loads pretty slowly, but I want to give it a chance since it’s still pretty new, I look forward to see how it evolves. the community part at least seems pretty chill so far! 

also has this very cool feature, where you can make comparisons!! it has a sort of thing that you move it and you can see the difference between both pictures. 

I’ll definitely still be using Tumblr for art gallery as well, I already have posted a lot of art here anyways lol, I’ve managed to organize a lot of my art with the tags as well, although I think I’ll also be separating commission art without background and with backgrounds, that way they are all not too mixed up! 

Oh also, I’ve learned about Neocities! recently people were talking about it on Twitter, and seems like a cool option for a personalized website! although may first have to learn more about html coding 😆

Neocities is an open source site, you can own a site here and customize it however you want, but you gotta do it from scratch! it’s honestly pretty cool, I think customization of Tumblr themes is pretty close to this,

but even so, if you check the sites from here just for fun, THEY ARE FANTASTIC! it’s like taking a look at internet in 2008, the customization value is so cool!

I personally find very fun the customization options like this, I may want to give this a try some day 😄

Well I think that’s all, this ramble became a bit too long lol but well, thanks if you read this far! 

Hope you have a great first week of May! 

[thegeminisage]

STAR TREK UPDATE TIME. last night we finished off the third season of ds9 with "facets" and "the adversary."

facets:

FINALLY some good fucking food re dax. oh finally finally finally. i absolutely loved this episode start to finish. 10/10 no notes. well no i have two notes 1. it's hilarious that they included leeta bc they didn't have enough characters for all of dax's lives 2. i wish we didn't on-purpose forget that crazy mf who kidnapped her in that one episode...where was he. anyway, aside from those two things, literally perfect

gonna start with the b-plot - nog finally passing his starfleet exams was such a huge fucking deal and it was an even BIGGER deal to me that rom - rom, who initially almost stopped his own kid from going to school because of his brother's influence/ferengi culture in general - got so mad on his kid's behalf he yelled at quark NOSE TO NOSE. not only that, he had a uniform commissioned from garak at a high expense...his son is more important than even MONEY and GOOD FOR HIM!!! my new friend rom.

i'm trying haaard with quark - i liked his scenes in the a-plot - but him fucking with the test is just so horrible. i am begging for even a scrap of character development or even just likability. why can't his schemes and shenanigans be something that doesn't cause emotional harm to other people?? he did a lot of that in the first two seasons, what happened??

anyway, it's cosmic justice that dax assigned him hairbrushing and pregnancy talk in her little ritual. at first i was like i can't believe theyre not gonna make him curzon because he's an asshole and so was curzon but this episode was so enlightened

actually, i had a little spoiler going into this episode. one day i was gooling pics of curzon bc i couldn't remember what he looked like and was so shocked to see ODO! i was like damn is odo mimicking curzon, i thought it was dr mora, what manner of backstory...but then i happened to see the summary for the episode later (i try not to read them, but it happens) and was like ohhh. and it turned out to be perfect

like, the picks for everyone were great - maybe o'brien as tobin was a little mean, that could have also been quark lol - kira was such a perfect feminist trill even with her little voice and sisko made an AMAZING joran (his fakeout was SO fun and i love when sisko calls jadzia old man) but you can't get more perfect than curzon and odo

like, theyre both assholes who go too far sometimes, though obviously they're different KINDS of assholes - odo's grumpiness in generally more benevolent, though not always, and curzon's is much more hidden under charm. they're also both PINING! what a plot twist. it actually explains so much (why he asked for her despite expelling her) and it's like...yeah, jadzia was an adult, but the age difference still made it kind of inappropriate, and he knew enough to know that. and rene auberjonis can play that kind of tortured wish-i-didn't-love-you angst PERFECTLY

and even though he's an asshole, you didn't feel like jadzia's sympathy for him was misplaced, because he obviously did his best to make amends (important!!) and suffered over it a great deal - that his own inappropriate behavior almost cost jadzia something she'd worked her whole life for, and it was nearly a mistake that couldn't be undone. you felt like he actually HAD a wake-up call, unlike a lot of the characters in tng or in a recent case voy who were only sad and made excuses so THEY could feel better without actually attempting to correct course for someone ELSE'S sake. i liked curzon a lot, he had a lot of nuance

also, i gotta talk about odo. since curzon and odo's personalities are so different, it actually makes total sense why they'd want to stay joined...odo gets to be free and easy around others, and curzon gets the joys of being a changeling. odo's rigid personality doesn't complement his abilities as a changeling very well, but curzon's personality kind of does??

curzon sisko reunion was so good too. sisko pointing vaguely at him to an amazed and speechless jake going oh you remember curzon ha ha and getting sort of dragged out of the room. they're SO funny and i love sisko scenes so much

and of course sisko's scenes with JADZIA! i feel like i understand her so much better now...firstly, she's had this sort of sassy personality for a few episodes, so i'm wondering if we are finally sticking with that one? but then she also has this deep-seated insecurity underneath there which could kind of explain away some of her reserved rigidity in earlier seasons - her whole deal enrolling kind of traumatized her, and her "real" personality is starting to shine now that she's healing? all conjecture/headcanon, but i could get used to sassy jadzia! it feels great that she has actual conflict and stuff to say and like, a pretty fun sense of comedic timing also

and now that her character has started to appeal to me i can see how lovely it is that curzon was once sisko's mentor and now sisko is mentoring jadzia on how to confront curzon...also they fucked twins once. and fucked in the mirrorverse. there's so much to unpack. it's a complex fun relationship that i've always LIKED but am only just now starting to APPRECIATE

anyway, wonderful stuff, 10/10

the adversary:

MY BEST FRIEND ODO. "no changeling has ever harmed another" are such fun arc words and i was hoping he'd be the first and he WAS. i think that other changeling technically attacked him first but whatever. it was what i wanted and i GOT IT and he was so fucked up after <3

sisko's promotion!! i always wondered when they'd get around to making him captain, it was always bonkers to me that he started as a commander. he is still ROCKING that beard also but i do pre-emptively miss his hair. also, sisko taking jake's drink at the toast when he tried to steal too much. priceless. he has such dad energy

dax teasing sisko about his baseball gf..........i love this so much for them. i love that he gets a baseball gf and i love that everyone gossips about it behind his back. i also love how much glee everyone took in calling him captain for the rest of the episode. his besties love him so much.........................

changeling plot was so fun because i THOUGHT it was weird for julian to be crawling around in that little hole but the close-up on obrien had me CONVINCED he was the one and ofc also that one traitor guy was there too and he's super squirrelly. so it kept me GUESSING

i do think it's really funny that they used this nice civilized hypo to draw blood though - firstly, it's less secure, because the changeling was able to swap samples, but secondly, on s*pernatural they would have been cutting each other up INSTANTLY. straight across the palm like idiots. they're so fucking civilized in the 2300s.

the return of the self-destruct codes!!!!!!!!!!! GOD THAT WAS SO METAL. everyone went very calmly to their almost certain deaths too.

the fact that kira was the first to ask after odo after he went, sorry, NONVERBAL, and showed up in the meeting room.......that's romance. r, well, it's not but i'll take it and happily.

"you're too late we're everywhere" THEY'D BETTER GET USED TO THE CUTTING!

TONIGHT: kicking off voy s2 with "the 37s" and "initiations." though i do happen to know the former was originally just supposed to be part of s1 lol

[bisexualchrissycunningham]

you KNOW i gotta ask hellcheer for the possession headcanons. Eddie + possibly cursed, Chrissy + soft / fuzzy, and the two of them together + embarrassing or kept a secret (whichever you prefer 🥰)

I haven't been feeling very Hellcheer-y lately, and this made me a lil excited about them again, so thank you!!

Eddie + possibly cursed 

This is not my actual answer, but can you imagine if I said the answer was Chrissy's scrunchie that he took off her body and kept as a reminder of the most traumatic night of his life… and somehow it ended up being kinda cursed by Henry and Eddie was able to use it as a lingering connection to Chrissy that resulted in somehow bringing her back???? (Sorry.)

But really, the possibly cursed item Eddie owns is this plain white mug with 2 googly eyes on it that Wayne has zero recollection of ever buying in his travels, and he and Eddie just got used the unsettling feeling of it watching them at all times.

Neither of them ever dared use it. But they also never dared get rid of it.

About a year or so into the relationship, once Chrissy feels at home in the trailer, she “accidentally” smashes the mug when she’s alone. 

No one ever asks where it went. 

Chrissy + soft / fuzzy

In Chrissy and Eddie's first apartment, in the back of a drawer, there are a pair of pink fuzzy handcuffs. 

The thing is, Eddie is the one who bought them. He and Chrissy were talking about spicing things up (in fairly vague terms), and he thought she would want to ease into it with something tame like that.

He was wrong. The day he came home with the handcuffs, she surprised him with a strap on and a shockingly large dildo (he ends up being the one who has to, ahem, be eased into things). 

When Chrissy decides to try something new, she goes all in, ok!

Hellcheer + kept a secret

One of my favourite fic ideas I ever came up with for them involved them getting together that Friday night before Spring Break. She follows him into his bedroom, preventing Henry from taking her, and they spend the next few days together just falling crazy in love in secret, not telling anyone cause maybe they’re a little nervous to leave the bubble they created (Chrissy especially, because she knows there’s still something out there haunting her). 

Laura and Jason track her down at the trailer and drag her home, where Laura locks her in her room, leaving her at Henry’s mercy. Eddie keeps their days together a secret, because it’s the most intimate and real thing he’s ever experienced and now she’s in a coma cause of that monster and he can’t even begin to deal with that while he’s also being accused of attacking her and the others (the thing is, Wayne knew.. he stopped by home a couple times over those days and though Chrissy mostly hid in the bedroom, they DID meet outside the bathroom one time in the middle of the night and it was very awkward for them both). All the victims end up in a coma instead of dying, Eddie somehow still gets blamed and the gang sees no solution except to fake Eddie’s death and send him on the run with a little help from Owens’ government friends. 

Sometime after he’s long gone, Chrissy wakes up to a world where Eddie is “dead,” their relationship still a secret (Laura and Jason sure aren’t going to reveal to anyone that Chrissy sullied herself with a boy like that, right), and she’s more alone than she’s ever been. 

(Don’t worry, eventually Chrissy befriends Nancy and Robin, who tell her the truth and she goes searching for him, so there’s a happy ending.. eventually). 

Hellcheer + embarrassing

As for embarrassing… I think Chrissy has a fascination with those mall photo studios. Her family was too fancy for them (see: that creepy fucking oil painting Laura clearly commissioned) so one time as a surprise date, Chrissy drags Eddie to one. They wear lots of different outfits, but the ones Eddie makes her SWEAR she will never show anyone are the ones where Eddie is wearing the preppiest shit imaginable (a polo shirt! baggy khakis! hair slicked back in a low pony! plastered-on fake Norman Rockwell smiles and awkwardly formal hands on shoulders!) He only did it cause they were in a private room where any passersby couldn’t see, and also cause Chrissy batted her eyes at him and pleaded, telling him just how much she wanted to make a mockery of her unhappy suburban family life with the photos. Chrissy promises no one will ever see them and she means it but alas... Robin snoops.

[techmomma]

I don’t draw as much as I used to. Some days it drives me insane. Since getting this job there’s been whole MONTHS without drawing even the sloppiest thumbnail or even just a warmup.

But I think it’s been good for me? Yeah, it still drives me insane. I have so many things to draw, all the time, forever, and it never feels like enough TIME FOR ANY OF IT. I am a visual communicator, there are so many THINGS that just don’t work in words! But they’d make sense if I drew them. Just this one idea, I gotta get this idea out of my head and it demands a visual aid. And I gotta decide between that, or this thing I’ve been wanting to draw for two weeks, or this other thing I out off for a month, or this thing, etc. etc.

But

I think it’s been finally, actually helping the burnout I staved off healing from for ages. I’d pull back but still try to make myself draw and it’d only somewhat help, temporarily, but now actually not drawing for long stretches of time, I can feel something healing. I don’t draw often and I don’t draw a lot but each time feels like more and more of a joy. I feel more excited to draw, less tired, less staring at a document like “JUST FUCKING DRAW ALREADY!” and nothing happening.

Maybe it’s been helping me get away from feeling like I owe people, personally and in-general, art. Not just in the sense of commissions but as a content creator, like if I don’t meet these invisible quotas for posting then idk everyone will hate me or stop following me or whatever. “You have to draw content like it’s your job or like it will be your job someday or you’ll never go anywhere.” Or, as has happened, people will ask “Why aren’t you making art anymore??” and I won’t have an answer. Worrying that people will think I’m NEVER DRAWING AGAIN and look on me pityingly, like I’m no longer an Artist or.... something.

brain: something bad will happen me: what brain: something bad

me: cool, great, thanks

And now that I’ve not been drawing and people HAVE asked that but it was a single instance thusfar, and there’s still people following me and enjoying my art and my characters, which is great, but even if there weren’t.... it’s been showing me it’s really not so bad. It’s okay to not draw anything for long stretches of time. Yeah, it kinda sucks, but who cares? I’m liking my drawings more on the rare chances I do get to draw, even if I don’t finish them. I’m enjoying my art more and more. Maybe I only have the spoons for a headshot but it’s spoons at all, and that’s awesome. Instead of being ONLY a headshot, it’s more like “yay, I got a chance to draw a headshot at all!” Art is feeling less of a chore that has to be done every so often because you have to, and more of a joy that I get to indulge in.

So unfortunately, it does mean that art will still probably be few and far between, in terms of here on tumblr and what I post. I’ve also started taking a joy in not posting everything I draw; sometimes it’s just for friends, sometimes it’s just for me. So you guys don’t see everything I do, even when I do draw. But I’m still here. And I’ve been feeling better about my art. Maybe one day I won’t be so tired and I can happily draw everyday for hours like I used to; or maybe it’ll still remain sparse and sporadic.

But that’s okay. Maybe I won’t get any commission deals out of drawing so sporadically, maybe I won’t get huge follower numbers. But that’s okay. I like my art. I like my circle I’ve got here. And I’m learning to not hate myself for staring at an open document and not drawing anything. I’m learning to be okay being tired.

Love you guys, still! Lots of love to people still sticking around and lots of love to people who’ve stumbled on me recently and made the flattering-if-questionable decision to follow me. You may not see much art from me but I’m still here lurking most days, and enjoying the quiet.

[claypigeonpottery]

this fish cracked right down the middle while it was in the kiln. this is the second time I've painted an elaborate fish platter and had it crack. I've had three successful fish platters but all of them were just glazed. the two that I painted and spent hours on... those are the ones that cracked lol.

that's something I've learned to love about pottery, honestly. no matter how much effort I put into something, sometimes the end result will be a broken piece. there's only so much control I have and once a piece is decorated, I take pictures and then... whatever happens to it happens. I do what I can to help it succeed obviously, but I'm still learning.

don't get me wrong, it's still annoying if something breaks or cracks or warps or bubbles or drips or sticks or shatters or...the other hundreds of things that can happen to pottery, especially in the kiln.

but mostly I let it go very quickly, which is big for me lol, I'm typically an anxious creature. I actually dropped about twelve little mushrooms that I'd made at the studio, and one of the other potters remarked that I was very chill about it. (but at least those didn't take me hours of work)

the only time I was really upset about losing pieces was when someone dropped a shelf at the studio, and it fell onto my shelf and crushed like six pieces. two beautiful mugs and a plate that had been commissioned... that bummed me out for a few days.

just gotta keep making, keep practicing, keep making kiln gods to watch over my work.

maybe I'll try this fish again

[skelizard]

How do you deal with or avoid artist block &/or burnout?! <8O

Hmm, I don't think I've ever really had 'artist's block', or at least to the extent people describe it. Or maybe I do and I just don't see it as artist's block, idk. I will say that what I'm about to say is comin' from the perspective of someone who ain't doin' it as a career and mostly keeps it as a passionate hobby.

I do from time to time feel a creative lull where I don't feel particularly inspired or have any real urge to draw, that's a completely normal part of bein' creative and it's unavoidable. I think also sittin' round and constantly thinkin' 'oh no I've got art block' only exacerbates the problem n doesn't help, it's just passive pessimism. Part of dealin' with it is acceptin' the fact you're in a lull and just, go off to do other things. Do other hobbies, play a new game, go outside, watch a series, read a book, anythin' that isn't makin' art basically. These art block periods are a good opportunity to search for new inspiration and I find eventually, either from doin' one of these things or just lettin' the creative lull simmer for a bit, you'll find a lil nugget that gives you an idea that you really wanna draw. There's gonna be times where you feel ya can't draw or everythin' that's comin' out sucks and that's fine, just take a break if you can. Sometimes I still feel the itch to draw durin' these periods and instead of tryin' to make somethin' exclusively from my brain/original I'll do studies, animal portraits, fanart, basically just somethin' that isn't as mentally intensive as doin' entirely original stuff. That and also mindless doodling, drawing with no vision or goal in mind n just lettin' your hand draw what it wants to draw. Another thing you can try is different mediums, sculpture, 3d modelling, embroidery, ect. It's good for the soul to try out different things, and the good thing bout tryin' somethin' new to you is you can't expect it to be good, so it doesn't matter if it looks bad. Makin' bad art is good for you actually.

As for avoiding burnout, again I'm speakin' from the perspective of someone who isn't doin' this as my job so I only draw when I feel like drawin', which just happens to be pretty often. In fact not doin' it as my job is probably one of the best things I could've done in avoiding severe burnout, I did commissions for a few years and the burnout was Real (not to put people off from doin' commissions it just wasn't for me). These days I feel I'm constantly operating on low energy and as a result I don't really do a whole lotta 'big finished illustrations' anymore, at least not as often as I used to. I don't really try to push myself beyond the energy levels that I have and as a result I feel I create stuff generally a lot slower these days than I used to, and that's fine! Just gotta accept it and move on. Also just doin' sketches is fine! Don't gotta do fully finished paintings n whatever all the time. Also be realistic about your goals n projects, if you wanna make a 300 page comic n you haven't even completed a single 1 page comic then you're just settin' yourself up for failure. You can still have your 300 page comic idea but focus on makin' multiple much much smaller comics first, you'll feel a lot better and more motivated havin' completed many smaller projects than only havin' that one massive unfinished project loomin' over your head, and it'll train/prepare you for makin' that bigger project. This applies to any sort of creative project, comics are just on the brain right now. Bein' realistic with yourself n not biting off more than you can chew, n lettin' yourself have breaks helps with burnout a lot. I also almost exclusively these days just doodle my characters, so it helps to just draw the things you really wanna draw, especially if you're just a hobbyist. Nothin' kills motivation more than constantly makin' yourself draw shit you simply don't wanna do.

This gotta kinda long but basically my advice just boils down to just chill out, creative lulls are normal, be kinder to yoself, hopefully somethin' in there helps ya out.

[keefwho]

October 25 - 2023 Wednesday

8:12am

I think I'm worried I'm still nourishing an unbalanced dynamic with people. I always used to see myself as the inferior one with friends and I'd put other people on a pedestal. I fear I am still doing that, even though I'm trying hard not to. I try to see myself as equals with people but sometimes their language or admissions suggest I am like a pet to them or that they generally hold power in the dynamic. It might be a case of giving too much as well. Maybe giving even though I don't receive back can give someone the impression that they deserve that from me so it becomes the norm. Then I get treated unfairly despite no one's intention to do so. Maybe I neglect my own social needs too much. I wear a mask and appease others so I can try to ensure they actually like me. I end up sacrificing a lot because it feels like no one is right for me. No one ever sticks. I feel doomed to always be the one giving just so I'm not alone.

3:29pm

As usual this time of day I just feel lonely. I feel hopeless and it's affecting my desire to do literally anything. I don't wanna put in any work if I only have more bland life to look forward to. I'm not sure how to even pretend like there is a better future waiting for me. I really do want to see the positive outcomes of anything I might do. Ideally right now I'd be having fun drawing the things I gotta do but it's hard to do that when I'm anticipating sorrow and misery in the near future.

6:15pm

I'm done drawing and I didn't even have good results. Now I'm lonely, tired, and disappointed in myself. This happens a lot.

10:51pm

This morning I had left over beef rice a roni for breakfast. I was very tired also since I've been losing small amounts of sleep every night for about a week. It's taken it's toll. I got to stream late after napping on my desk. I really didn't want to stream, I felt terrible. I felt like today was going to be like every other. Working on commissions I don't want to do, internally berating myself for not being able to really connect or relate with 570 or the rare others that show up, hoping Daisy will join at some point, and dreading the cleaning/workout I have to do after. I did the commission and the episodes of Mia and He-Man were good. Inktober didn't turn out great.

Afterwards I only had enough time for 30 minutes of wood chopping and a good chunk of that was spend getting a sled and looking for other things. I didn't get much done. I didn't clean too much after either, just my toilet some. In the shower I wanted release. I had a hard time figuring out what to do, I spent way too long in the shower. I bothered Daisy about it and felt bad after because I know she's at work and has a lot of other stuff going on. It's frustrating that we handle this so differently. When I'm under stress, my go to is to nut generally. It helps take my mind off of things and express my emotions in some ways. She seems to stray far from it during difficult times which is fine, just a way that we don't connect. I just don't want it to cause conflict at any point which it shouldn't if we're both understanding about how each other feels.

I didn't have much time for lunch so I made Ramen, a granola bar, and a pear cup. I got to my afternoon work late as well. I also had a hard time getting myself to do it but I found a lofi stream (I usually hate lofi), ambient rain noise, and I hopped in a call while I did today's request and a couple meme drawings that didn't turn out as well as I wanted.

Afterwards I booted up Legendary Tales and decided to stream while I waited for Daisy to be free because at this point I was lonely and just wanted to talk to her. No one showed up which made me feel even lonelier. I also lost my current character and had to start over but I worked up almost to where I was before.

When Daisy was free she worked on her costume for the con while we watched She Ra which is a great show, I'm excited to watch it. We watched the first 3 episodes. While she went to bed I played Cities Skylines. She was holding Rosalina for awhile, her pet rat who is near her time with a massive tumor on her neck. I feel extreme sorrow at her inevitable loss. I feel awful that Daisy is having such a hard time lately. I feel bad that I'm struggling lately too. I just wish I could do more to make things better but that's not my job and it's something I literally can't do. I can't change all the terrible things happening, I can only offer my support.

Lately I've been focusing on making sure I'm not suppressing my feelings again. That means admitting some uncomfortable truths about how I feel about certain things. It means really letting my reactions be how they are. It's scary being unfiltered because I feel like I have problems that WILL scare people away, even though this is a necessary step for me to get past them. I feel horrible that to most people I think I used to be more fun and care free to be around but now I'm so emotional and withdrawn. I feel like I have no social value because I can't really fit into any chill get togethers and I can't seem to actually care about anyone besides Daisy usually. I'm scared because I can't figure out why. I can't figure out why I can't accept new people into my life as friends. I can't figure out why I get so obsessive about things. I feel ashamed at myself and will be crying in bed tonight. But in a way that feels good because usually I try to hold it in or pretend like I should feel okay. Well I'm not okay, I have a lot to cry about. I have extreme amounts of fear and sadness and I have to let them out.

[kxmikomrade]

✧˖࿐ 'They're my siblings' - Kamisato Siblings

╰┈➤Kamisato Siblings x Reader (Platonic) Genre: Fluff Gn!reader Pronouns: Y/P (your Pronouns) Type: Headcannons, Fluff Warnings: Nothing! maybe a few swear words Author's Notes: For @mx-kamisato !! not requested but decided to write it BECAUSE WE STAN THE KAMISATO SIBLINGS. also your not actually siblings here, u guys just act like one :))

• Ayaka's hair is a must. • I headcanon that Ayaka doesnt do her hair but Thoma or Ayato when they have the time • LISTEN, Ayato is so good at styling hair (bcs of Ayaka) • SO LIKE- No matter the length of your hair, no matter the type of your hair • he WILL style it so well • He's just that skilled • I WOULD TALK ABOUT HOW THOMA IS GOOD AT IT TOO BUT THIS HEADCANON FOCUSES ON THE SIBLINGS • DRINKING TEA WITH AYAKA IN THE TEAHOUSE IS JUST SO <333 • Hot pots with them and Thoma • Ayato sometimes wants you to try weird ingredients but Thoma volunteers instead so you dont have to sacrifice your tounge • Such a life saver &lt;33 • Low key hinting a Thoma x reader • Ayaka rants to you about how she wants to know more about the world outside of Inazuma • One time, you guys planned a hot pot and Ayato couldnt come bcs he was busy so a few days before another planned hot pot, you being the absolute amazing being you are, didnt take any commissions for the day and helped Ayato with his paperwork • In the end, he joined the hot pot • RIP Thoma's tounge • He saved ur tounge countless times and this is how u repay him?

I have more headcanons but ill post it some other time since i gotta do sum other stuff

[gaelfox]

Getting a lot of activity here more than usual, so I guess Tumblr is up and thriving again! I figure its time for me to reintroduce myself for all you knew and returning lovely folk. So —

Hello, my name is Gael!

I am a lady cartoonist that went to college for animation and since graduating I’ve been a part of a whole bunch of projects - from internet media companies to solo YouTubers to my own merch to online fandoms, I’ve found myself in a lot of places for my work. My favorite things to create are comics and short-blurb joke images, but I also love narrative storytelling and character design. Right now, I work on YouTube thumbnails for my favorite Theme Park Podcast (Annual Pass) and a wonderful dude named Ray Narvaez Jr. over on Twitch!

I live with my fiancé (who I will refer to as Babbus) in the PNW and we’re getting married this Summer ~ He’s my light and joy and my biggest muse, you’ll recognize him on my blog as a large-horned Tiefling character of the same name next to my own Persona, Lich Queen Gael, when he’s not being my partner-in-crime in other fandoms.

What Kinds of Things do You Like?

Well, y’all found my blog for a reason - whether you were here since the beginning for my AH/RT designing and worldbuilding to my own worldbuilding with LQG/DPB to various other tidbits, y’all know I like many things. What fandoms can you expect from this blog? Things including, but not limited to:

YouTube Gamers (AH, GameGrumps, Jack, Mark, etc) - my radio for the day. Especially loving the variety of my channels between game play, horror game lore, theme park and history documentaries, and whatever the hell

One Piece (constantly on the hunt for more good good Law FanArt and uh…may be trying something a little new for NaNoWriMo this year…?) I just want more of my Trash Husband

Video Games - These shift and change depending on what I’m playing at the time to be honest, but some of my solidified favorites are Stardew Valley, Disney Dreamlight Valley, Minecraft, Pokemon, the Phoenix Wright series, Monster Hunter, Yakuza, and small indie games that I discover. My sisters and I bonded over video games growing up so they hold a special place in my heart, always.

Critical Role - I’ve started watching pretty regular since C2E1, and I’m watching all of C3 while slowly catching up on C1. Maybe you’ve seen me in the old art reel a few times?

Theme Parks - I’ve got a deep love for the way that theming and storytelling comes into play in the Theme Park world, its a sort of special niche of mine that I hold dearly since my grandmother was a cast member and the joy of theme parks runs deep in my family

TTRPG’s - I do love me a good tabletop system! I have a lot of games I’ve played in the past, and many more ideas for the future. I always love a good character, whether they start out as a joke and come completely into their own (Riss) or they just remain a silly protagonist for the sake of keeping the mood of the table light (Bobert Rossington, Esq., who beats the devil out of his enemies) I always love the design elements that can come from a simple system that can lead to incredible character development and choices.

Food - what more is there to say? I love food.

But ultimately, overall? Expect art and jokes. Art and jokes to me are the spice of a good smile, and even if you’re having the worst of days, sometimes all it takes is a smile from a good post to get you though. I want for my art to give people joy, for that in turn gives me joy. And that’s why I do what I do.

Do You Take Commissions?

I do! On occasion. They have to open up and I can garner a bit of a long waitlist if I do - but because I don’t require payment until the work is complete, all you gotta spend is an email and some patience. Right now they aren’t open due to time constraints, previous commission queue and contract work, and I can’t say when they’ll open back up again. But I’ll make an announcement here if they do!

Do You Do Anything Else Aside from Fine Dining Art and Breathing?

I do! Strangely enough. I have a Twitch channel that I sometimes haunt playing games/doing art with friends of mine (under my same pseudonym) and I’m at the gym 4 days a week for HIIT/weightlifting. I enjoy a good podcast, a good book, and binging Netflix. I love animation as a medium and comics and stage plays, I’m getting into NHL/hockey when my gym shows me games. Variety is the spice of life, after all!

So, there ya go. Maybe we have more similar interests than you think? In any case, thank you for coming along for the ride, and hope you enjoy what we have together!

Welcome aboard this Life in Cartoon Motion!

[cloudninetonine]

A past that still haunts me

A/N: Hey guys, it's me (ya boi) I'm back with my still current hyper fixation Genshin Impact and a vent fic because I've been really stressed and well, it's hard living in my house :) It's a hurt/comfort fic because they always get to me and I needed to make something for myself

I am willing to do aftermath where the boys confront the abuser or do scenario but with different characters

Synopsis: You’re not a damsel in distress, you never have been and you never will be, but, well, sometimes you need a hero to rely on and that’s okay

Characters: Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli and Childe

Warnings: Hints to past abuse, confrontation of abuser, violence, mentions of blood, threats, foul language

It had meant to be like any other menial day of an adventurer: sign in with Katheryne, complete your commissions, sign out with Katheryne with your payments - done and dusted.

But that wasn’t how it went, no, far from it - archons, so damn far from it.

“Thank you once again, (Name)” Katheryne’s smile was kind like usual, holding that familiar feeling of gratitude as she handed over your remission within a marked package, hand returning to the desk’s polished surface once you had taken it graciously, sending her a beaming grin back. “The Guild really appreciates your work ethic when it comes to the Ruin machines, it’s hard to come across adventurers who want to handle them anymore”

You sent her a shrug as you placed away the box “Can’t blame them really, they’re a hard bunch to handle- I was terrified of them when I first started too, but I had my vision to help me out, a lot of these folk only use there pure determination to eradicate them, gotta admire that!”

She laughed along with you politely “Have a good evening, (Name), I’ll see you again tomorrow?”

“Of course you will!” You backpedalled away from the guild reception, throwing the woman a polite double fingered salute as you did “Ad astra abyssoque as they say, my fair lady!”

She parrotted back her usual phrase before disappearing into the building, you walking further down the path of the city for your final activity for that day.

Of course, you didn’t reach that far, after all, it wasn’t that menial day you had expected, that you had wanted. Life was cruel sometimes, so incredibly cruel for no justified reason just for the sake of it all and you wished, archons, you wished you could rewind the clock and stop yourself from bumping into the body, to save yourself from all the repressed trauma bursting forth like a flurry of butterflies, well, more like moths, disgusting, ungodly, monster moths that aimed straight for the face.

“Sorry!” You yelped, too preoccupied with gathering your pocketwatch you had dropped in the stumble to see who it had been, after all, you were on a schedule and you didn’t want to be-

“(Name)?”

...late.

All of a sudden, time didn’t seem to exist, or maybe it was moving way too slowly from that horrid spike of adrenaline that shot into your bloodstream as soon as the voice registered.

You hoped to the Archons that it wasn’t, that it couldn’t, but did the gods hear your prayers?

“Oh Archons, it is you! It’s been such a long time!”

Of course, they did, they just didn’t care to listen. Ignoring the cries of your people were in fashion to them these days.

They stood there with a smile so excited it almost seemed to tear their face in half, with eyes sparkling with recognition after so many years away from them, they opened their arms welcoming you into their embrace like it was something just so normal for the two of you like you would come bounding to them like a lost puppy who had finally found their master.

The fear of your abuser dwarfed in comparison the pure feral rage and loathing to think that they even deserved to be breathing in the same space as you.

People were looking, of course, they were looking, you knew what they were doing, being bright and jovial, bringing others attention towards you both so that whatever scene you caused would be your fault like you were the bad guy. It was old tactics, of course, you wouldn’t dare do anything when you were younger, you’d just push through it, but this wasn’t old times, this wasn’t younger you, scared, smaller you afraid them, this was you now, a warrior, unwavering in battle, a person who smiled in the face of danger, who laughed at the pitiful fights that 2- no- 4 abyss mages brought to you!

To hell what other people thought, you’d stomp their head into the cobblestone if they had so much as poked you.

“Come here and give me a-”

You took a step back, mustering the deadliest face you could, but you wavered, it was only natural, no matter how much you could try to hype yourself up, this person was your first true experience of real-life nightmares, the first person to bring you true pain, no matter how many ruin guards, hunters, millachurls, mages- anything you faced, nothing could prepare you to face your first fear:

The fear of your older sibling.

“If you fucking touch me I’ll stab you-” The growl cracked nearing the end, you were always an angry crier but you were not about to fall back to this- this monster. “In front of all these people, I won’t hesitate”

Their face dropped followed by your stomach, though, the food you had for lunch sure did feel its way up your gullet.

“What’s with your language? We haven’t seen each other in four years and this is how you treat me? Your older sibling?” They laughed in disbelief because onlookers would think they were shocked, I mean, how could you speak to family like that? But they didn’t know, they didn’t know the words they had told you, the insults, the threats, those tight grabs, those beatings- they didn’t know, so they obviously didn’t know that the shock came from the fact that you had stood up to them.

You licked your lips to get rid of the dryness, but the problem you faced was that your mouth had dried out along with them, as did your throat.

Don’t let them turn this on you, don’t let them get the upper hand, you were better than them, so much better.

“You’re not my fucking sibling” You spat, feeling the air vibrate around you, a sudden shine from your cloak hinted you to the cause “You haven’t been for a long time, don’t fucking try that shit with me”

There it was, that familiar enraged spark, that look of hatred on their face, the thing that warned you about what you said had been the right thing to set them off, that they were just as easily triggered by the smallest act of rebellion just like when you were kids.

Of course, they hadn’t changed.

Evil never did.

They took a step forward but you didn’t back off, just hardened your resolve as they leaned in menacingly, as though their stupid little intimidation tactic still worked after all these years.

You told yourself it didn’t but you knew deep down that wasn’t completely true.

“Don’t speak to me like that, (Name)” Facade gone, they showed you what they really were, what they were really like after all, “Don’t you ever speak to me like that, you show me fucking respect”

Respect?

RESPECT!?

Oh Archons, you were angry, no, seething from the thought that they ever deserved respect.

That pathetic piece of shit, that gruelling pleb, mere gum on the bottom of your damn shoe-

You’d kill them, right here, right now.

You felt the familiar materialisation begin to form in your hand when another voice called out, a familiar loving one that nearly made your throat swell from relief.

“(Name)?”

Diluc

He could sense the tension. Of course, he could sense the tension, Diluc had faced this tension so many times before, he was practically the one that owned such a vibe anytime Kaeya even breathed near him for a second longer than necessary.

But being the one to witness it, to see you, the usual awkward, goofy sweetheart stare at another with such overbearing malice made him uneasy, caused his stomach to churn in ways he didn’t like, set him off in a way that was only reserved for the most chilling on moments.

Diluc wondered what exactly this stranger had done to warrant such a reaction from you.

“(Name)?” The redhead called, glancing around the many citizens of Mondstadt that watched the exchange with intrigue, guard and worry, eyes focused on the scene of this foreign stranger and fuming you, hand poised by your side with weapon particles dancing on your palm.

When Diluc finally made it over, his form seemed to curl protectively around you, hand landing on the small of your back delicately while keeping face with the person, eyes narrowed dangerously but still holding an air of civilness.

A true gentleman, even when you were close to merking some rando.

“Is there a problem?”

The stranger straightened immediately, backing up a few steps with their hands up in defence, sending Diluc a charming smile that the man could see through crystal clear.

“No problem, no problem at all” They glanced back at you, seemingly friendly despite his partner’s obvious ill intent that radiated off you in waves “Isn’t that right, (Name)?”

Diluc saw you tense up once again, the buzz from your Vision rising in volume with your obvious anger as you tightened your first, ready to just screw your weapon and go for the throat.

“If that is the case” The noble’s hand softly pressed against your back, gently but coaxing, knowing that conflict in the middle of the town centre would just bring the knights to meddle in affairs that they had no business attending “Then we shall be going”

“There’s no need to leave, after all, my sibling and I were just chatting”

He paused, shouldering a questioning glance your way but at the sight of your unruly expression, he pushed down his enquiries and once again began coaxing you away from the scene. Angel’s Share had already been open for a while, meaning the usual folk would already be settled in, but the storage room was sure to be a good place to chat and to calm you down, all he needed to do was get you away.

“We already had plans” The side glance had the stranger- your sibling, biting their tongue, brows furrowing in a known annoyance as the two of you began your way towards the pub, you still vibrating in anger. “Good day to you”

The two of you had made it a few feet when they called out once again “Don’t worry, (Name), I’ll see you again real soon”

Diluc’s arm tightened around you faster than you could react, tugging you away quickly “Diluc-”

“No, (Name)”

“Stay out-”

“Not here” Sharing a look, he softened at the shine in your eyes. “You’ll just attract the knights' attention”

You didn’t care, no, not one bit. If the knights had dared to interfere at that moment, they too would have been caught up in your blinded revenge, thrown aside or slashed down without single care just to finally eradicate the bane of your existence and you didn’t care about what consequences you brought about, you just didn’t and you made sure to tell Diluc that, as soon as you had the privacy of Angel’s Share’s storeroom, pacing up and down while he stood off to the side against the wall, watching silently.

“You had no right to get in my way!” You snapped, voice shaking from the pure emotions you were releasing “I finally had my chance, I was finally going to do it! They deserve to end by my hand, by my decision, after the years of torture they put me through! They deserved it! And you got in my way! How could you get in my way! I-”

Pushing off the wall, he slowly advanced towards you, carefully, hands out like he was approaching a wounded animal.

“I understand you’re upset-”

“I’m not upset!” You cried at him, stopping mid-step before dropping your head and tightly, grabbing your hair in your hands “I’m not upset! I’m angry! I’m so fucking angry! And I deserve to be fucking angry! I-”

The sob ripped through your throat despite you trying to hold it back, tears finally gathering in your eyes and rapidly falling down your cheeks “You should have let me kill them! I should have had the chance to rid the world of their evil! It’s not fair! It’s not- it’s not fair, I-”

You didn’t bother to fight him when his arms finally wrapped around you, just fell against him as you wept. The pent up rage, fear and sadness from years of repression taking its toll as you cried, your partner whispering sweet words as he raked his hand through your hair gently and leaned his head against yours.

“I’m sorry” His hand held your cheek fondly, ruby red staring back into your own eyes with a softness that made you melt “I didn’t know this meant so much to you, but if you’re willing to tell me, I’ll listen. I’ll always listen”

With another choked sob, you leaned into his hold “Please just hold me for now”

And he did just that.

Kaeya

The captain had promised to meet you at his office, a simple task really but with the lingering presence of Jean and the words ‘There’s so much work that needs to be done’ leaving her lips he bolted, hoping to catch you by the Guild and drag you to Angel Share for your date. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to help her, it was just he had already promised you this night and Eula could have always taken his place with paperwork, her threat of “vengeance” as she liked to call it could wait for another day.

It was also due to the fact he had no intentions of filing any paperwork for as long as he could avoid it, but that was his secret to be kept.

Being the perspective man he was, he could tell straight away he had walked into something tense, surveying the surrounding people of Mondstadt who looked on in concern, the unbridled rage upon your face, the obviously intimidating lean that the stranger held over you- something was wrong and he knew he had to put a stop to it.

“(Name)?” You glanced for a single moment before your furious glare had returned to the stranger, another flag waving right in his face as he approached, “My dear? Who might this be?”

Before you could snap, lip curling in disgust, the stranger stood back to their full height, switching quickly with a fake charming smile that practically mirrored his own, holding out their hand towards him “(S/N) (Last), (Name)’s older sibling. it’s nice to meet you”

Kaeya’s smile widened and despite the glare from you that was now focused on him, he shook your sibling's hand in-kind “Kaeya Alberich, (Name)’s partner-”

He made sure to tighten his grip with his last words “And Cavalry Captain of the Knights of Favonius”

Successfully, as he always was, Kaeya held back the smug, mocking grin that itched to climb onto his face when the neck of your sibling bobbed nervously, forehead reflecting the afternoon light as sweat gathered on their brow.

The man hadn’t obviously threatened them, surely, Kaeya was smarter than that, but then again, he could still present himself as a threat, a good one and well, his title was a menacing one when it came to the right moment. ‘Try anything and not only do I have the authority to kick your arse but the power to put you in a place many didn’t dare even step’ shortened into an innocent sentence with only 8 words.

“Cavalry Captain? That’s quite impressive” They laughed off, tugging away their hand awkwardly when Kaeya continued to keep a firm grip, his present eye focused solely on your siblings face. They glanced over to you “Quite an achievement for you, aye (Name)?”

You growled, “I’ll show you an achievement-”

Kaeya’s arm had wrapped around your waist not a second later, tugging you tighter to his side as the two of you turned, the man throwing your sibling a smile over his shoulder.

“As nice as it was to meet you, (S/B), we must be going”

And then without another word Kaeya dragged you away, heading in the direction of your home instead of Angel Share tavern, feeling your pure, unfiltered anger the whole way along with the citizens as they parted ways, rushing off from your rage.

It was only when you had returned to the sanctuary of your abode did you snap, jerking away from your boyfriend with angered strides and beginning your seething lecture towards him, moving up and down through the living room while he ventured off into the kitchen, grabbing 2 glasses and a bottle of wine.

“How dare you Kaeya! How fucking dare you! Do you have any idea what you were doing back there!? What was even happening back there!? So much for being the most observant man in Mondstadt because you seemed pretty dense to me the whole fucking time!” Your hands raked through your hair as you yelled, trying so hard to hold back the tears “I didn’t need your damn help, Kaeya! Nor did I fucking want it! Know to stay out of someone's business when it isn’t wanted!”

Logically you knew what he had done, you were smart like that and you knew Kaeya long enough to know what he was doing but your rage, fear and sadness blocked out everything in that moment, made you blind to reality, made you only think irrationally and Kaeya didn’t blame you for that. He could never blame you for that.

Though, it did hurt him to see you in this state.

“Wine?”

You gawked at him for a moment, staring at him with shock and confusion as he held out a wine glass towards you, another held in his other hand and a sweet smile plastered on his face, before your moment morphed into rage, grabbing the drink from his hand and tossing it towards the wall, the red wine splattering over the wallpaper and glass shards falling to the floor.

“Well, that was a waste-”

“Do you think I’m an idiot, Kaeya!?” You cried, not even bothering to hold back anymore as the tears fell and your voice cracked, hand pointing accusingly in his face “Is this some kind of joke to you!? Huh!? Am I a fool in your eyes!? Some sort of blubbering idiot!? Why must you- why do you-”

The second glass was placed on the dresser by you both, Kaeya’s hand coming to hold your cheek fondly while the other came to grab your hand that dangled in the air, still poised at him “I don’t think you're either of those, my dear, in fact, I think you’re one of the brightest in the whole of Teyvat, nevermind Mondstadt”

You hiccuped “Then why-”

Brushing away the wetness from your cheek, he brought your hand to his mouth to place a fond kiss on your palm “Because you mustn’t cry, (Name), don’t waste your tears on someone like them”

“I’m not crying, I’m-”

He shushed you gently and you finally relaxed, falling into his embrace with a heavy heart “-I’m not, I swear-”

Within the familiarity of your home, you wept in his arms, exhausted from the whirlwind of emotions and the scenes that had transpired that day, ready to just curl into yourself and try to block the flooding memories of history. Although, having Kaeya at that moment helped more than he could ever know, having him to rely on made it all so much easier to cope with that day.

“Tell me what ails you and I’ll listen” Brushing back some hair, he pressed a kiss to your head.

“Can..can we just stay like this for a while?”

“Of course, my dear”

Zhongli

He had sensed the incoming danger like it had been revealed in some sort of premonition. Maybe it had been a skill he had acquired after his long, eventful life, maybe it was his connection to Liyue and his citizens, but for some reason, as he sat before Iron Tongue Tian as the man recalled his tales of ancient Liyue like usual, Zhongli knew that the crowd that was forming around Wamin Restaurant had something that he need urgently attend, especially when even Tian paused his story to glance around the corner of the restaurant building to see the commotion.

When the archon had finally borne witness to the scene, he paused within the crowd, surveying the surroundings carefully. You were the centre of attention, along with another stranger, both glaring at one another with anger and disgust, though your own anger seemed to double compared to the other’s, seeing as your weapon was slowly materialising in your grip. Zhongli could also see Guild Master Lan making her way down the steps leading to the Guild reception, a worried expression on her face glancing between you and the approaching Millelith.

Zhongli made his decision, politely pushing through the crowd until he had finally made it by your side, hand being placed gently on your arm “(Name)?”

Both you and the stranger glanced at him, but he paid no mind to them, only held eye contact with you when Lan appeared by your other side, glaring at the stranger with a hardened gaze.

“Are you harassing my guild member?”

Before the stranger could respond, the Millelith had also popped in, glancing between you and them “Is there a problem?”

Zhongli had taken up your view when Lan began her take, she had borne witness for much longer than he had of course and he was certain that you were in no state to talk to the guards. Your eyes were glazed with hatred, pupils pinpricks in a sea of (E/C) and your hands were shaking, balled into fists.

If anything, he needed to try and calm you down first.

“Get the hell out of my way, Zhongli” Your teeth ground together, words shaking with anger “Don’t push yourself into my business”

“I’m sorry, my love, but I can’t do that” He tried brushing your cheek but you jerked away, glaring at his hand before glaring back at him, in no mood to be coddled “I don’t want you to do something you’d regret”

“Trust me, I won’t regret this one bit”

Zhongli held his tongue for the question that almost rolled out, knowing now wasn’t the time for inquiries when the stranger’s voice rang out, condescending and snarky as they addressed you.

“Still need people to protect you, aye (Name)? Of course, you’re still the same pathetic bitch from years ago”

You were lucky for your reputation around Liyue, for the picture of the kind and caring adventurer that had swept through the town from your years of living here because had it not been for that, you pushing aside your boyfriend and materialising your weapon to aim it at your sibling’s throat would have had you in cuffs that instant.

Lan grabbed you, tugging you away as you screamed “I’ll show you pathetic you fucker! Let me go!”

The Millelith didn’t wait to drag your sibling away, much to their cries of dismay, one sending Lan a nod while you continued to fight against her, crying out in frustration.

“Kid, you have to calm down-”

“Calm down!? No! Get the hell off me!”

Zhongli watched as you finally broke away, huffing and puffing up a storm before glancing amongst the crowd, staring at their worried and concerned faces, your own eyes tearing up before you looked away pushing past the crowd to find somewhere to be alone.

When Lan went to call out for you, Zhongli raised his hand, the two sharing a look before the archon made his way after you, his longer legs keeping a steady pace to which he could catch up to you, just beyond the bridge that led into Liyue Harbour. There were no people where you stood, just the lush green plants and great mountains of nature, a perfect place for you to let out your frustration without the prying eyes of the citizens.

“(Name)-”

“Leave me alone!” You cried, curling into yourself with your back turned to him “I don’t want you here, Zhongli! Nor did I want you back there! I didn’t need your or anyone else's help!”

You knew he was here from a place of concern, and deep down you begged that your words didn’t harm him in any way, but currently, you didn’t care, you didn’t want to care, you just wanted to be numb, numb to the flashbacks of your horrid past and numb to the feelings that were dragged along with them.

“My love, please, return with me to our home, I will brew some calming tea-”

“Tea? Tea!? Does it look like I want any fucking tea?! I couldn’t care any less about some fucking tea, Zhongli!” Spinning around on your heels, you scowled at him, not bothering to hide your rushing tears “Don’t you get it!? I want to be left alone, I-”

Two gloved hands gently encased your face, your angered expression morphing into one of shock as your partner stared down at you with glowing eyes filled with a deep-rooted love, affection, worry and so much more that you couldn’t put into mere mortal words. At that moment, everything felt as if it had melted away, only you and him were in this world, nothing else, just the two of you.

And you felt as though your heart had been lifted from the pressures of this life.

“I do not think it is best for you to be left alone” His baritone voice was always so calming, so serene and in your sane moment, you finally felt its effects “I wish to stay with you, so please, let me stay”

With a whimper, you grabbed onto his forearms and leaned your face into his hands, tears continuing to fall as your eyes fluttered shut “Okay…”

“They have hurt you deeply, haven’t they?”

Hesitantly, you nodded.

“Would you be so kind as to tell me the details?”

“I-...” Sharing eye contact once again, you whispered “Can- can you just...hold me for now? Please”

Moving his hands from your face, he engulfed you in his arms, leaning his head against yours “Of course”

Childe

The Harbinger had just left the Northland Bank, hell, he was just about to make his way down the spiral staircase but when hearing the commotion, he paused, something in his gut telling him to check just before and he was glad he did.

Glancing over the elevated walkway, he felt a fiery pit roar in the depths of his stomach, eyes narrowing dangerously at the scene; you were snarling in some other person’s face, their own face nothing short of disgust and a crowd that only seemed to grow by the minute.

Who the hell did this person think they were? Did they even know who you were? To stand so close to you, with a look of threat on their face like you weren’t about to kick their arse? Like he wasn’t about to kick their arse? How did this insignificant speck of dross not know your connections with him, the 11th Harbinger? Or did he know and was just trying his luck?

“Seems like someone has a death wish” And a death wish they had indeed.

Ignoring the perplexed glance from his subordinate stationed outside the building's entrance, Childe made his way down the steps, murderous look stitched on the whole way to the circle of civilians, the mass parting ways for the man that was Tartaglia and continuing to watch the moment in silence.

“Who the hell are you-” You both turned towards him, you in shock while the stranger stared in confusion until Childe’s hand wrapped around their collar, tugging them closer to look down at them with a deep-rooted disgust “-And why the hell are you harassing my partner?”

They fought against him, obviously, they did, but the surprise came when you saddled up next to him, grabbing his arm “Stay out of this, Tartaglia”

What? It hadn't been your request, no, you were always one to finish your whole fights you weren't "A damsel in distress after all!" no, you were so much more, so much greater but that look on your face, murderous and downright cruel- he just couldn't believe his ears.

Childe stared at you in shock while the stranger struggled, throwing him a dirty look in their attempts “Yeah, this is between my sibling and I”

Childe straightened in surprise, feeling embarrassment flood his system. Had he seriously just grabbed and threatened his lover’s family member? Oh, Archons, his judgement had been clouded by anger at the look of the scene, I mean, why would your sibling look at you that way-

“But it’s really no surprise that you still need to be babied, (Name), how shameful”

His eyes widened but not a moment later had you tackled your sibling, the crowd crying out in alarm as you threw back your fist and crushed their nose under the weight of your punch. “I’ll show you fucking shameful, bastard!”

There was shouting and a glance showed the oncoming Millelith marching towards the circle.

Being Fatui always did garner the attention of the guards nowadays, especially for him, who had tried to lure out the attention of their Archon by summoning an ancient god that nearly drowned the entirety of the harbour, so it was no surprise that they seemed to hurry in the pursuit when they noticed his appearance at the scene. However, lucky for him, your reputation as a great adventurer preceded you and throughout Liyue you were seen as a trusted and well-liked individual, meaning whatever trouble you got in, containing his meddling or not, was usually waved away due to the trust of the people.

So, without another thought, Childe tugged you off of your bloodied sibling and held you close, even as you thrashed violently, shouting at him to let you go.

“What is going on here?” A guard called, slamming the hilt of his polearm into the ground as he surveyed the area, eyes landing on the sibling before following the small trail of blood to you, still fighting against your boyfriend with threats falling from your lips “Was there a reason for this brawl? Who started it?”

As your sibling raised themselves on their forearms, they scowled and opened their mouth to respond, only for Childe to put in. “It was them, sir, they were the one that started it, (Name) was merely acting in self-defence”

The Millelith scowled at him, raising a brow and once again looking you over “Is that so?”

He addressed the crowd soon after “Is this what happened?”

And as expected, they all glanced over the sibling, then to you and piped up in agreement. It paid to be a hero, it seemed, the whole harbour returning the favour of years of helping out the community.

“If that’s the case, please come with us” The sibling cried out, anger and fear laced into their voice, trying to argue for their innocence only for the guards to grab them, hauling them away to archons know where while Childe did the same with you, slowly dragging you away from the scene and back into the bank, you screaming and cursing the whole way until you had made it to his office, finally managing to push him off and storming to the opposite side of the room practically seething.

“Who the hell do you think you are, Tartaglia!?” You cried, throwing out your arms in exaggeration “I didn’t need your fucking help! And why the fuck would you pull me off them!? I had them right where I wanted them and you fucking did that! Are you a moron!?”

“You had a sibling” He breathed, watching as you began to pace, muttering in an angered state “And you didn’t tell me”

“-after all these years I finally had the chance to end their pathetic excuse of a life and you just got in my fucking way! I’d waited too long for this moment and you fucking ruined it! How dare you, how fucking dare you-”

“(Name), why didn’t you tell me you had a sibling!?” He cried, walking up to you and grabbing your wrist to stop you “I was ready to kill them right there! And why are you talking about them like this!? They’re your family aren’t they-”

“They are not my fucking family!”

The scream echoed through the room, chilling Childe to the core as you ripped your arm from his grasp, running your hands through your hair before gripping it so tightly it felt close to being ripped from your head. But you didn’t care, no, you couldn’t, you were so angry and you needed something to keep you grounded, to keep yourself from losing yourself and getting lost in those haunting past memories.

The Harbinger felt his chest squeeze painfully as the tears fell down your face, red rimming your eyes and cheeks wet as you sobbed, chest heaving from trying to breathe “Family takes care of you! Family thinks of you in the highest light possible! They love you for who you are and they love you no matter what! That bastard hurt me, made me feel worthless and they refuse to believe they could do no wrong and I hate them! They are the bane of my existence! They are not my fucking family! I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I-”

Arms were around you instantly, Childe’s face pressed into your hair as you wept, grasping onto the lapels of his suit and shoving your face into his chest to muffle your cries.

“I’m sorry” He whispered, his own eyes shining slightly “I’m sorry, I was being insensitive. Please, don’t cry”

“No, I’m not crying, I promised myself I wouldn’t-” You hiccuped “I wouldn’t waste any more tears on them-”

Then you broke off into more wails, your boyfriend holding you close and letting you continue to cry in his arms, warm and comforting until you were finally reduced to whimpers, leaning into him heavily as the remaining adrenaline in your body began to wear thin when he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Will...will you tell me about it?”

You sniffed “Later...just hold me for now, please, Ajax...”

His arms tightened protectively “Anything for you, my love”

[husbandohunter]

Moments of Despair #2 [Genshin Impact/Albedo x Reader]

Synopsis: "The alchemist who relished in his gifts only to fall from grace."

(A series of works where the boys deal with the passing of their beloved).

Diluc’s despair

Warnings: angst, tragedy, major character death and psychological horror (correct me if otherwise)

(A/n): I decided to take a slightly different approach this time. Regardless, it’s still killing my heart TwT.

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Out of the many wonders of Teyvat, one thing Albedo loved most was how you were so different from him. 

Difference ties to the unknown, one that must be discovered. He was drawn to you the first time he had laid his eyes upon your form standing at the heights of Mondstadt's cathedral. The Sisters scolded you from below, but all you did was reply with a wink amidst their chaos before soaring into the skies and letting the wind carry your glider. Reckless they said. For him, your recklessness was intriguing. 

As the sun's light blinded his vision, everything he saw seemed like a glass barrier. For the ground was where he thrived and chalk was his core, it became the basis of Albedo's very existence. Even the geo Archon granted him a Vision of the same element to affirm his identity. The earth will forever be attached to his feet as he will keep on his stride until every last truth of Teyvat have all been realized. You, on the other hand, hailed from a place where he couldn't quite reach. What lies beyond this glass ceiling? Albedo found himself gradually holding onto a string of curiosities, a string he could touch but was not able to feel. 

'Interesting,' he thought quietly, while the breeze slip between the fingers of his outstretched hand. 

He was a character of logic, possessing sharp eyes that could pierce through the depths of the most complex formulas and a mind to predict their outcomes-  as long as alchemy was still related. All impossibilities thrown in his way only paved a path for him to become the well known genius he was now. Whether it was alchemy or  investigations with the Knights of Favonius, Albedo never failed to deliver the answers. But despite it all, he always found himself endlessly contemplating over things that were considered intangible. He wonders why you smile when there was nothing to laugh about. How could you tell between the complexities of the human heart? Albedo can't seem to put a finger on it. 

'Why? What drives you? What are you thinking?' 

The Chief Alchemist couldn't resist being fascinated by your unpredictability. It reels him in similar to a fish being baited out of the waters. However, unlike those creatures, Albedo only tightened his grip on the strings as if they were a lifeline, determined to find out what they truly felt like to the touch. 

"I can't really say it's much of an answer," you hummed, clasping both hands behind your back before declaring with a grin, "To put it simply, you just gotta follow your heart."

'Follow your heart...' What does it mean to follow your heart? 

"I'm afraid I still don't understand," he replied in a thoughtful manner. The statement never really resonated with him and it certainly weren't the words his Master taught when he was in the early stages of being created, "But it does suit you very much." 

"Really? But still bring your head with you," a playful laugh escapes and you add while pointing a finger, "At least, it's what everyone tells me these days." 

"Hm," Albedo then affirms with a nod, "I can definitely see why they would tell you that." 

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" 

The days go by and his repetitious march towards the truth remains the same. However, there was never a dull moment when you were at his side. Perhaps that was the reason why Albedo became so attracted to your aura. The way you'd follow around his experiments, eyes so full of enthusiasm at every step of the activity. Sometimes the events can get a little too out of hand in which he needs to step in and save you from getting stuck in slime condensates...constantly. Albedo grew fond of your childlike excitement even when you weren't entirely sure what was going on. He normally distanced himself from socializing as it never sparked his interest. Frankly, he was too much of a genius for mundane conversations. Your presence was rather refreshing in this case. You were an oddball, just like him, and for once the alchemist felt like he didn't need to place that glass barrier between the two worlds. 

"You seem to be in a very good mood today Mister Albedo." 

He was a man of subtle expressions yet anyone could notice the small gleam in his eyes whenever he saw you walking in the hallway. Sucrose often remarked with a giggle after she noticed her teacher holding his documents upside down. But who could blame him? Joy, fun, laughter. He was able to experience those emotions all because of you; his beloved. You were the colour to his canvas and the meaning to his flower. You were a force of nature. Like a warm breeze gracing upon the terrestrial lands, you move him. 

Thump- thump- thump- 

Strings around his world began to weave one whole picture while they also tugged inside his chest. God had finally blown the breath of life into mankind's body, it was only a matter of time before Albedo came to follow his heart too. 

-------- 

"Alright, just one more detail aaaaand done!" 

You gave a small tap using the tip of your pencil and leaned back to examine your artwork. 

Masterpiece! 

On days when Katheryne had no commissions assigned to the guild, Albedo would accompany you to the Whispering Woods and conduct his sketches there instead. He was aware of the discomfort Dragonspine brought as the temperature wasn't ideal for anyone except for him. You eventually learned that your lover was not only intelligently different from the rest but physically too. Albedo, aside from the Cavalry Captain, was mysterious in his own way. He was hard to read yet never came off as intimidating, no one knew of his origins nor they knew how he came to Mondstadt. You wondered why someone like him would have wanted to get involved with your shenanigans. Rosaria often gave warnings regarding the alchemist's 'hidden intentions' in which you'd roll your eyes in response. The Albedo you knew was far from that. He was a big brother to Klee, a man passionate about his work, he was the one golden star among the many silvers in your sky. He was your lover. 

My Albedo. 

Brushing a hand upon the drawing you made of him, you glided down the lines of his cheek before resting your finger on the mark by his neck. You gazed at it with fondness. Truly a masterpiece indeed. 

"You do realize I'm still here?" 

The paper nearly flies out of your grasp and you snatched it back to your chest, "HUH A-ALBEDO, WHEN DID YOU APPEAR???" 

"I was with you the whole time," he states. The corner of his lip tug upward ever so slightly, "You said you wanted to sketch me." 

"A-Ahahaha, so I did," you reply while scratching your head bashfully. 'I thought I was looking at a sculpture!!'  You rushed to cover your face with the sheet. It wasn't that you forgot he was there, rather, you forgot he was still a living and breathing specimen who just witnessed your little serenade. As Lisa had once said, Albedo was easy on the eyes. His graceful features made him seem almost like an oil painting that could only be found in  halls of the most prestigious households. You made sure to capture everything, every detail, every curve just like he had done with your portraits. Only now you noticed the sun already began its descent below the lakeside, dusting the landscape with hints of bright orange as it marked the day's end. If only time could slow down. But duty calls upon your next journey and there was no telling when you'd return. At the very least, a simple portrait would suffice to fill in the temporary gap of his absence. 

"Can I see it?" 

You glanced his direction while keeping the drawing close to your nose, "Are you sure about that? It might not be up to your expectations." 

"I'm sure," Albedo affirms with a straight countenance, "I can already tell you've put a great amount of effort, otherwise you wouldn't have taken this long." 

"Yeeaahh I kinda lost track of time. I guess it's only fair that you get to see the finished product," you say and shoved the drawing in front of him, "Tada! I present to you, my masterpiece!" 

Albedo takes it out of your grasp and you watched the way his eyes expanded upon sight. 

"Well? Whaddya think?" 

Words could not describe the mixture of emotions that erupted within him. Was it distinguishable or abstract? Albedo spent his time pondering between the two answers as he examined the drawing closely. Despite the lines being slightly jagged and the unevenness in the placement of his eyes, he managed to make the shape of the entire image you were trying to convey. Perhaps it was all thanks to his well trained artistic vision which gave him the ability to do so. Or maybe he was simply biased. But there wasn't a shred of doubt that this was indeed your craftsmanship. 

"You even added flowers in the background," he pointed out with amusement. 

"It's the thing you make when using your elemental burst, I couldn't fit your hand in the picture so I decided to put it somewhere empty," you informed, "Out of everything, that one took me the longest." 

"And the rabbits?" 

"They resemble Klee's bombs!" 

He lets out a chuckle, "I see." 

Albedo kept his attention downward until he was mindlessly staring at the paper in hand. This was a memory made to be carried as you moved on to your next journey and it saddens him that he could not accompany you. If only time slowed down. Albedo wanted to hold onto the memory forever, because he knew once he gave it back, he wouldn't be able to see you for an uncertain amount of time. 

"Do you really have to go?" 

His voice was barely above a whisper. Guilt crept into your heart and you gingerly layed your fingers on his gloved ones, bringing down the paper that blocked his face. A pair of teal orbs held a reflection of your image as the sun's rays casted from the side. You returned it with a reassuring grin, hoping to soothe his worries somehow, "I just need to pay a visit to my father since he's been very sick lately. I'll be fine, so don't worry too much okay?" 

Albedo turns over his palm and gave your hand a squeeze, "How long will it take?" 

"I'm not sure but it will be a while. Snezhnaya is pretty far so..." you trailed off, "But my time in Mondstadt, with Klee and with you, I will never forget! I won't even if I tried." 

When you were met with no answer, a breeze came in to fill the melancholic silence. He too will not forget and he would ensure that it was the same for you. Slowly, Albedo brought your hand up, past the center of his heart all the way to cupping his cheek. He allowed himself to indulge in your warmth, tangling the strands of his hair with your fingers while closing his eyes. Sweet flowers. You always carried the smell of sweet flowers. 

"Albedo?" You gawked, "What's the matter?" 

"...There are certain aspects where drawings can't imitate,"  he says, grip tightening ever so slightly, "How I feel against your skin, the shape of my jaw, your warmth radiating with my own. These are the things I want you to remember." 

Breath leaves your slightly parted mouth. It was unfair how straightforward Albedo could be when showing his affection. Doing as he pleases without anyone's approval to the point it would even catch you off guard since he often absorbed himself in the arts of alchemy. But during times when Albedo did choose to express his feelings, you knew they came from a place of pure genuinity. The thought made it hard for you to tear away from him, "Did you ever find out what the strings felt like then?" 

Albedo returns his gaze, long golden lashes hovering them as he smiles softly, "...I have." 

As he began to reveal his stories, the dusk sky continued to flare across the landscape with colours of passion. Red, it was the thread that had led him to you, the same string that weaved him together as a whole. Albedo lays a kiss atop of your pinky, there was a reason why Mondstadtians called him the Chalk Prince. You didn't know the intention behind his sudden affection but he knew. It was a promise, one to ensure that the thread would also have you return safely back into his arms. 

Oh how he hated the colour red. 

"Al...bedo..." 

With speed he never knew he had, Albedo scoops you into his embrace and held you close. How did everything happen so fast? He curses his mind as it proceeds to scan your injuries, drawing a conclusion where he wished to be wrong for once: 

You were beyond help. 

"Ah..haha..." you managed to laugh through bitter tears, "You don't have to say it. I know." 

His breath hitches, trying to make sense of the feeling that was slowly tearing him apart from the inside. It's not real. Of course it wasn't, it couldn't be. What other possible answer was there to explain the numbness stinging his fingers? The reason for his shaking? Everything felt so cold. Your body hardly registered to his to touch, you were losing so much blood. You were losing. He was going to lose you. 

"No," Albedo shakes his head, "We still have time. I'll go find help." 

Please, hold on. 

He forced himself to think. The ruin hunter ran off shortly after it had ambushed you, by now the Knights would eventually noticed and apprehended it on sight. They couldn't be too far. All he needed was to carry you back to safety and everyone can go home. Albedo darted his eyes all over the place, breaths becoming shallower with each passing second. Where? Where to go? Which route was best to not overexert your wounds? Think. Think. Think. Why couldn't he think? 

"A..." You watched him in your helpless state. Every part of you throbbed with pain but it pains you even more to see the renowned genius who stood atop the pedestal of elegance and grace so utterly, undoubtedly lost. This was not the goodbye you wanted, though death already had you tight in their grasps. Not yet. Using the last particle of your strength, you tried to stay alive as long as possible. Just a little bit more time. 

Albedo freezes when a trembling hand extends itself to cup around his cheek. Every single thought he had in mind vanished and was replaced by a loud ring resonating in his ears. Dreadfully, mechanically, he turns his attention to where you lay. 

"Don't cry," you whisper, "I love you, don't cry- okay?" 

Albedo grimaces, shutting his eyes closed as he allows the pent up sadness to flow out of him completely, "I can't," he said in a shaky voice, "Please. Stay." 

"I'm sorry," Your vision blurs and he hugs you even more. Drawing your final breath, you relay your most cherished words through a broken smile, "But no matter w-where I go...I won't for..ge.." 

The moment your hand fell, Albedo finally understood the difference between death and loss. 

It was...suffocating. Having the air trapped in his throat, begging to release yet it hurts to speak. The never ending stabs that pulsed within his veins rushed forth like the scraping  blizzard of Dragonspine until his whole body lost all its senses. The world was shattering. He could no longer feel your weight. He could no longer feel. 

(Y/n). 

Albedo glances at his blood stained fingers where the thread had been severed, wide eyes drowning in sorrow. What a horrible feeling. Was this a warning sent by the gods? For stepping into the boundaries of knowing too much? Ah the curse of knowledge man must bear when eating the temptatious fruit. It was the result of choosing to love you. With life, death is inevitable and with love, it will eventually bring pain. Everything had a price to pay and as an alchemist, Albedo knew that better than anyone. 

"...Meaningless..." 

But he refused to accept it. 

Cradling your corpse, he leans in and places a kiss on your forehead, lips quivering as they lingered for a second too long before gathering the strength to stand back on his feet. Nothing will stop the alchemist from reuniting with you. If the laws wished to take you away from him then he will use everything in his power to fight against those laws. 

"This is not goodbye..." Albedo said to the sleeping girl, "And it will never be." 

When the sun sinks below the plains and the stars lose their light, the sky had been replaced with a palette of darkness. It was time to go home. 

------ 

"Have you all heard about the rumours?" 

A group of knights gather in the corner as they whisper about. Sucrose stops on her tracks and hides behind a wall, clutching the book close to her chest in an attempt to stay hidden. 

"Another criminal disappeared from the dungeons? Crazy..." 

"More like creepy. I was told that place might be haunted by some dead prisoner's ghost. Even the Church is hopping onto this case." 

"Well I hope it doesn't get any worse. So many of us started going on night patrols..." 

Their voices faded out of range as the anemo user backtracks her steps carefully. Several months passed since the news of mysterious kidnappings have been announced to the public. Rumours of their whereabouts swirled around the city and much to her discomfort, Sucrose happened to catch every single one of them. There couldn't possibly be evil spirits lurking in the Favonious Headquarters right? She silently shrieks at the thought, shaking her head furiously to stop her mind from going too deep. No, I have to find him. Without wasting another minute, the anemo user sprinted towards the stairs all the way up to the second floor before stopping directly in front of her teacher's office. Despite the adrenaline that occured at the same time, she made sure to knock. 

No answer. 

"Strange, he told me he would be here today..." Sucrose muttered to herself. But suddenly she heard the sound of objects shifting from the otherside, signaling that there was indeed someone occupying the room. Without realizing, she held her breath out of anticipation. 

"Come in." 

The door creaks as she opens them, giving her enough space to slip between the gap, "Mister Albedo?" 

"You're early today," The Chief Alchemist noted from his desk, "Is there something the matter?" 

"Y-You mean you don't know? There was just another case about a person disappearing from the dungeons," Her tone became more frantic as she rambled to herself, "The kidnapper never leaves a trace and no one knows how they were able to get out. Even when we ask the guards what happened, they can't seem to remember as if...as if someone casted a spell on them!" 

"A spell?" He inquires, "I suppose that could be a possibility." 

"I think so too. I-It's the only explanation that makes sense! I mean...ghosts don't exist after all," Sucrose nervously looks down at her shoes while giving her book a squeeze, "But why? Who could be capable of such advanced techniques? No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to understand their intentions." 

"...Yes. It is a very strange occurrence indeed." 

Noticing her teacher's withdrawn attitude, Sucrose couldn't help but feel flustered at her own behaviour, "Ah my apologies Mister Albedo, I didn't mean to go off track. Have there been any progress on the investigations so far?" 

Albedo briefly glanced at the various documents splayed across his table. His reputation as an incredibly intelligent individual had reached far and wide through Mondstadt. This led to the authorities requesting his assistance regarding the recent matters, despite him specializing in the alchemical field, he was also the Captain of their Investigation Team. Although, Albedo detested partaking in things he deemed irrelevant to his research; 

"I'm afraid I would need more evidence to draw a conclusion." 

"Eh? You still need more?" 

He could not deny that the given authoritative position had provided much benefits to his own accord. 

"My expertise lies in the subject of alchemy," Albedo reasoned and proceeds to intertwine his fingers in front of his mouth, "Humans on the other hand, are very unpredictable in nature. Even the essence of their existence is hard to obtain." 

"Essence of their existence?" Sucrose repeated softly. She wanted to ask what he meant but the blank expression was evident  enough to signal his impatience. At least, that was what she thought, "Nevermind! I have something that might help," taking out a slip from her textbook, she handed it to him, "It's the report Captain Kaeya gave me. He said that the culprit might be a traitor coming from the Knights of Favonius." 

He narrows his eyes. 

"I-I think he might be right! Just think about it, we haven't found anything at all for the past few months but when we do, I sometimes feel like we're just running in circles...oh what if it's becau-" 

"Sucrose." 

"Y-Yes?!" 

Albedo calmly looks at the flustered girl, not realizing how sharp his tone was, "You're overthinking again. Perhaps it's best that you take this day off." 

"But I came here to help," she insisted, "I know it hurts to lose someone you love! Don't you understand that we're all worried about you? And Klee, she..." 

"..." 

"Please Mister Albedo, if there's anything I could do-" 

"No need," he cuts her off once again, "Your stress levels are too high. We can't go any further if you continue to act like this." 

"Oh," her ruby eyes casted to the side, "I understand..." 

"Good. Now, if you would excuse me," Albedo bid her farewell and watched as the door clicked behind her, observing every detail until he was sure that the absolute silence had returned. He picks up Kaeya's document. Such remarkable handwriting. But of course, appearances are only meant to be displayed on the surface for the Captain was a sly man, wearing a mask to shield what lies underneath. Just like his letter, they were full of innuendos and condensed meanings, orchestrated together until the truth spoke loudly to Albedo himself. 

"So, that's what he thinks." 

Perhaps the alchemist should have been a little more discreet. 

-------- 

There was a certain place in Dragonspine that no one dared to enter. But those who have, they never return. 

"Hm, no response. Now as for the next step..." 

And he was the reason why. 

Taking the sword out of the transmutation circle, Albedo turned to the snowy hill nearby and activated his alchemy. A small portion of it dissipates, revealing a trench that went so deep underground that even warmth couldn't outplay the sheer cold. It was the perfect hiding place for the evidence to lay out of sight and an environment where only he could handle. The alchemist tossed the leftover along with the others before exiting quietly, summoning back the ice to bury his victims once again. Another day, another experiment, another stain goes to his title. The path he walked upon was one littered with corpses and the sins he committed. But despite the bones crunching beneath his feet and the weight of the dead hanging on his shoulders, the alchemist was numb to it all. Like an entity floating in space with nothing to hold, he became unable to feel. 

"I'm back," When reaching the center of Starglow Cavern, Albedo puts his hand on the icicle and caressed it's hard cold surface, "Did you sleep well?" 

The girl did not respond. Her eyes were closed and her skin was as young as ever. She was frozen in time. 

"You must have." 

Albedo felt the sword beginning to shake in his grasp as it resonated with his energy. Dust particles emitted from the hilt and slowly made their climb to the side of his arm. Still, Albedo's attention did not waver, "To this day, I've been thinking about what you told me the first time we met." 

"..." 

"Follow your heart. I couldn't understand it at first but after being around your presence, I believe I can finally recognize what that term means." 

He closes his eyes as he envisioned your lively form running across the landscape. Albedo, Albedo! The sound of his name was mixed with your laughter while Klee came into the scene and caught the dandelions with you. A content smile formed on his countenance as he watched from afar, even if it was just a memory, "It's everything. The breakfast we ate together, to the nights spent camping outside, and the silly moments we shared, they bring all these colours that I never knew existed." 

"..." 

Albedo curls his fingers against the ice as he continues to lament, "Perhaps that's why I began noticing the strings around me. The closer I was to answer, the more I felt it was necessary to discover what they are. All this time, you were the answer I was searching for," Moist begins to build up in his eyes but they freeze up once reaching the corners. How cruel. Despite what he went through, he wasn't even granted the liberty to cry, "Because with you, I'm able to feel them." 

He wonders what you would think if you saw him right now. Albedo peers at his reflection casted on the crystalline surface, the frame of his face had been decorated with streaks of purple and red, spreading out like tree branches as they both fought for dominance. The teal coloured orbs you once adored were beginning to transform to a colour that reminded him of his darkest days. This was Albedo's true nature- a monster, a being that wasn't human, the essence in which you never had the chance to see. 

"I know I may not be the same as I was before," he added, "But if that is what it takes to follow your heart, will you let me feel the strings again?" 

Would you still love me the same? 

"..." 

"If so, then please understand my actions," Albedo takes a step back as he held out the sword in front of him. At last, the preparations have finally been completed. He plunges the blade to the ground with full force and the surrounding area begins to shake under the power accumulated through many, intentional sacrifices. To revive the dead was a forbidden art as it came with heavy consequences. If it weren't for Albedo's talent and quick wit, the process would have consumed him long before executing the last stage. He winces, the pain was excruciating. It was hard for him to ignore the sound of his skin cracking below his ears and all the way to his nose as they fall off in the shape of small rock-like chunks. Everything hurt so much that even death sounded like a sweet dream but Albedo couldn't afford to give up. He had already come this far, his hands completely washed with sin and his reputation already broken beyond repair, Albedo had nowhere else to go. This was his last destination. 

"Soon-" he pants between choked breaths. Soon your eyes will open. He could drown in your embrace, one that was warm and not cold. Soon he will be able revive those cherished memories from a frozen past. It was all he could think of right now. Your existence was the reason why a part of him felt whole and your death made him realize how painful it was to tear away those pieces. Albedo refused to let go of those pieces, they had already become a part of him. And if this path ended up tearing him even more, then so be it. 

"I should have stopped you the moment you were born." 

The intruder snapped him awake and he swung around to where they stood. But before Albedo could make out who it was, they lunged past him with incredible speed, kicking the sword off the ground while severing his two arms once and for all. They flew to the side, blood dyed purple trickling from the edges of his joint as he struggled to stay upright. 

"Dains...leif..." 

Dainsleif watched the alchemist fall onto his back as the light around him slowly faded away. He turned his gaze to where the objective was and noticed a girl encased within the ice. The man sighs out of relief when she shows no signs of life, he came just in time, "So this is how it ends." 

Albedo weakly stared at the blonde man. He attempted to say something but the blood caught in his mouth prevented him from that. 

"Save your breath, you won't be having any," Dainsleif remarks in a cold manner and glared at his bloodied form, "The renowned Chief Alchemist of Mondstadt and an important member of Ordo Favonious. Hmph, what an interesting turn of events. Out of everyone, I never thought you were the type to act so foolish." 

Foolish...what a foreign name to be called as. He never heard anyone tell him he was foolish. 

"Truly a pity," With a flick of a wrist, Dainsleif brought his sword to Albedo's neck. It was unbelievable how he had the endurance to go through all that pain while still breathing at this point but what is there to be expected from a monster? "Remember that all actions have consequences." 

The alchemist watched as his life flashed before him, the weight of his sins had finally caught up. He had always seen the world as a platform for his objectives and results were merely a natural cause after attempting many experiments. But death as a consequences was an unbearble realization upon his final moments. He abandoned his title, his pupil and his dearest sister. In the end, he was still unable to fulfill his duty. 

"I just..." Albedo mumbled, his words slurring together, "wanted..." 

As the ashes turn to ashes and dust becomes dust, chalk returns to the earth, forever yearning a place that can never be reached.

[sunmoonandeddie]

who you are and who you’ve been

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

word count: 8,490

summary: Sometimes love takes a little longer to find you.

warnings: SMUT.  Mention of past abusive relationship, drinking, swearing.

a/n:  Thank you so much to @zeilenkrieg for commissioning this and being so patient while I wrote it!!

“Mama!  Mama!  You here?”

You sighed as you looked up from your coffee, seeing your daughter coming through the living room.  She had on that pair of daisy dukes that she stole from your wardrobe—the ones you used to wear in the heat of summer, a white shirt tied to let the sun on your tummy.  You used to scandalize your own mama with that outfit… 

You had argued with her that she had worn the same kind of outfit back in the seventies, and that vintage was in.  But she liked to wear hers with cowboy boots and you preferred it with a good pair of sneakers.

God, you missed being young…  Your twenties had been absolutely wild, even if they had started out with that horrible pandemic in 2020.

You still washed your hands after touching almost anything.  An instinct that never went away.

That year and the couple years before had been… insane.  But at least it incited real change in the world.  The people had learned from their mistakes, at least for now.

History did have a habit of repeating itself.  Humans were fickle, forgetful creatures like that.

“Yes, honey bun?” You said as you stood up, moving to hug her.

At thirty-seven years old, she was the only good thing that ever came out of your marriage.  That, and knowing how to wash blood out of clothing.

The only problem was that by the time you’d finally left him, you had no friends left.  You were in your forties by then, with no family besides your daughter, and no friends left to speak of.  You hadn’t even had Facebook at the time to keep in touch with old schoolmates from university.  And by then, what was the point?  They were all leading completely different lives and probably hadn’t spared you a thought in at least a decade.

“When’s the last time you left the house?” She asked, her hands on her hips in a stance that reminded you so much of yourself that it scared you.

Now that… that was hard to answer…  You honestly didn’t think you’d be able to remember.  You got practically everything delivered, you worked from home… 

Shaking your thoughts away, you shot her a look.  “I’m fine right where I am.”

“Your doctor called and said you haven’t been taking your medication.”

“Fuckin’ snitch,” you scoffed, rolling your eyes as you turned back to the window, staring down at the now cold coffee.

Josephine rolled her eyes.  “He said you haven’t picked up your refill in over two months.”  She came over to stand next to you, staring out the window with you for a long time.  “Mama, you’ve gotta take your medicine…  You remember what happened last time…”

Ah, yes, the infamous incident.

Which was an incident in a long line of incidents.

There had been a… few times when you’d stopped taking your medication—either intentionally or simply because you had forgotten—and it had resulted in a stay in the psych ward at the local hospital.  It had happened far too many times for your daughter to not be in contact with your doctor so she would be informed if you had stopped getting your refills.

You didn’t blame her, of course.  But it did make you feel like a horrible mother.  One who couldn’t even take care of herself to the point where your daughter had to.

“Yes, I remember last time,” you sighed, staring at a cardinal.  “You know, my mama used to tell me that if you see a cardinal, a loved one who’s passed is visiting you…”

“Mama, I signed you up for a seniors’ social club.”

You blinked.

And then, you blinked again.

You turned to look at your daughter, disbelief written all over your face.  “No the fuck you did not.  I swear to all that is holy, Josephine Ann, if you signed me up for one of those… those… pre-death support groups, I’ll tan your hide!”  You gasped as some of your coffee splashed onto your sweatshirt.  “I brought you into this world, and I sure as hell can take you out of it!”

“You’ve been saying that since I was two,” She said, taking your arm and guiding you to sit down at the kitchen table.  “And it’s not a pre-death support group.  I feel like that’s offensive somewhere so make sure you don’t go running around the group saying that.”  Josephine used a paper napkin to dab at the coffee on your sweatshirt, muttering about throwing it into the wash and getting you a new one.

This was what you meant by your daughter taking care of you.

“Josie, really, I can get my own sweatshirt.”

“Doesn’t mean you gotta,” she said as she came back with a new one, helping you change.

Sometimes you felt like she thought you were a hundred years old.

“Honestly, mama…  I just want you to be happy…  You should have friends.  You shouldn’t be cooped up in this house all day, all the time.”

“What do I need friends for when I’ve got you?  And Danny?” You asked.

But you had been hit with the sudden reality that except for Josephine and her girlfriend, you were alone.  Completely, and utterly, alone.  Hell, they were the only people you had ever invited over to the tiny one bedroom you owned.

Repairmen didn’t count because they were there to do a job, not keep you company.

God, you had wanted more than this, once upon a time.  You had once had dreams, of maybe being a writer and making the New York Times’ Bestsellers List, of a husband who adored you and brought you flowers every Friday, of lazy Sundays eating waffles on the couch with the love of your life.

But life didn’t end up the way you had dreamed it.  There were no book signings or meetings with editors… there were no gardenias… and there was no smell of waffles and syrup.

And you’d made your peace with that.

Sort of.

Josephine’s arms wrapped around you as she rested her head against yours.  Like a mirror of yourself, she was, from her face down to her toes.

Thank god.  She didn’t deserve to have to look in the mirror and see reflections of her father.

“Will you at least try it?” She asked gently, her hand running up and down your arm, her freshly manicured nails tickling your skin.  “It’s not like a pre-death support group, as you call it…  It’s for seniors or people who are approaching seniority and are still active and want to go out and have fun, but maybe need some friends to do it with.  Please?”

And how could you say no when she wanted something so badly?

“Alright,” you said after a moment.  “I’ll go once.  And if it’s horrible, I’m not going back.  And I’m gonna tell Danny how you forced me to meet a bunch of strangers.”

She squealed excitedly, running off to your bedroom and going through your closet.  “Okay, the first thing the group is doing is having a first meeting at a bar, and we’re gonna get you all done up.”

Oh, good.  She was going all in.

“When’s the first meeting?” You asked as you sat on the bed, leaning back on your hands as you watched her.

“Tonight.”

Uh.  What?

“TONIGHT?!” You shouted in shock as you jumped up.  “What?!  You didn’t think to ask me about this a few days ago?!”

She snorted, picking out a few tops that you hadn’t worn in what felt like decades.  “I signed you up this morning, I didn’t know about it a few days ago.”

You watched in exasperation as she threw article after article of clothing onto the bed for you to try on.  “I don’t think I need to wear four pairs of jeans to a bar,” you said, beginning to pick up a few of the pieces.

Josephine gave you a look as she continued.  “Considering how long it’s been since you’ve been out, I think it’s fair that some of these might not fit anymore.”

Well, you had lost some weight…  Not necessarily in a healthy way, but she was right.

In the end, she ended up shoving you into the bathroom and forced you to do a full shower—which meant body and hair.

You hadn’t even gone to such lengths when you were going on your first date with her father.

She spent hours on your hair and makeup, chattering away excitedly about the vacation her and Danny were planning.  A South American cruise.

Josephine had never married, never had kids.  Never wanted to after seeing what her daddy had put you through.  It left a sour taste in her mouth, and even though it was legal now, her and her girlfriend hadn’t breathed a word of a wedding.

Though, you suppose they had a common law marriage at that point, if lesbians were included in it.

“Perfect,” she said as she got you to slip on an old jacket of yours that was a little too big.  “Come on.  I’ll drive you and pick you up.”

“Oh, honestly,” you snorted as you grabbed the purse Josephine had shoved all your things into.  “You’d think I could take an Uber.”

The bar wasn’t what you had expected when she had first told you that’s where the meeting was going to be held.  The last bars you’d been to had practically been nightclubs.

But this was… upscale.  Sophisticated.

Now you understood just why she had put so much work into making you look presentable.

It didn’t look like anyone else was there yet, even though most of the patrons were around your age, so you took a seat at the bar, the group’s site pulled up on your phone.

“What can I get for you, miss?” The bartender asked as he set down a coaster in front of you.

A snort erupts from your throat as you look at him.  “You always call women as old as me miss?”

“Oh, come on, you’re a catch,” he said, shooting you a playful wink.  “My dad’s single, you know.  If you were… looking.”

“Thank you, but I’m not,” you said gently, your cheeks flushed.  “Can I get a Manhattan?”

The bartender nodded, gracefully backing off the subject of you possibly dating his father.  And barely a minute and a half later, there’s a perfectly made Manhattan set on your coaster.

You’d barely taken a sip before someone came up beside you.  “Do you have Macallan’s 18 Year Sherry Oak?” A man asked.  At the bartenders confirmation, he hummed.  “Can I get a double on the rocks?”

The bartender dropped a large ball of ice into a glass before pouring two shots of whiskey over it and handing it to the man.

“Macallan’s, huh?” You said softly, your heart pounding.  Josephine had told you to make friends.  That was the whole point of this, even if the man wasn’t part of the social club you’d been forced into.  “You know your whiskeys.”

The tall man took a seat beside you, his eyes boring into the side of your face.  You hadn’t dared look at him yet.  “I’ve always preferred those who choose a Manhattan over a martini any day.”

“And why is that?” You asked, finally looking up at him.

And oh, you wished you hadn’t.  He was… stunning.  The very definition of male beauty.  His salt and pepper hair reminded you of the photos of the men in the forties…  The 1940s, that is.  Blue eyes so striking that you lost your breath, and broad shoulders that you knew would haunt your dreams.  He was wearing a glove on his left hand for some reason, but you didn’t linger on it too long.

But at least he was at least your age, if not a little older.  You’d die if you’d just sort of flirted with a twenty-something asshole who just bought expensive whiskeys for the sake of buying expensive whiskeys to show that he had money to blow.

“Martini drinkers think they’ll get some kind of award for their choice of drink,” he said, “as though choosing a drink that generally tastes like shit is some kind of accomplishment.  Unless you’re just taking a shot, a drink should taste good.”  He looked you up and down, letting his pretty blues linger on your lips.  There were faint crow feet at the corners of his eyes, but they just seemed to make him even more handsome.  “And a Manhattan doesn’t need a fancy whiskey.  It is steady and sure even with the cheapest five dollar bottle you can get from a gas station.  Someone whose drink of choice is a Manhattan is sure of who they are and what they want.”

You hadn’t felt this hot under a man’s gaze in decades.  “Really?”  Swallowing around the lump in your throat, you took another sip of your drink to buy you a moment.

“Mmm…”  He stole one of the two cherries from your drink, biting it off the stem.  You were transfixed as he slipped the stem into his mouth, sticking his tongue out about thirty seconds later with a perfect cherry stem knot on display.  “Really.  I’m James.  What’s your name?”

Butterflies filled your stomach as you gave him your name.  God, you felt like you were sixteen again and being flirted with for the first time.

His eyes flicked down to your open phone that rested on the bar, the social club’s page still up.  “You’re here for the meeting, too?”

“Um…  Yes,” you said, ducking your head.

“But, doll…”  He leaned towards you, a charming smile on his lips.  “You don’t look a day over thirty-five.  Are you sure you’re a senior?”

Blinking, your mouth hung open in a soft o.  “Are you planning on flirting with every woman in the club like this?”

James looked around dramatically, his gloved hand resting over his heart.  “A club?!  Is that what you call this place?” He asked, mockingly serious.  “Damn, what does that make all those dirty, gross places these young kids go to now?  Brothels?”

For some reason, you felt comfortable enough to shove his shoulder, surprised a little at the feeling of metal under his jacket sleeve.

For the first time, he looked a bit… uncomfortable.  He had flinched a bit, his bright eyes focused surely on his drink.  “Um…”

“You’re the Winter Soldier.  James Barnes,” you said curiously, your head tilting to the side as you looked at him.  “I thought I recognized you from somewhere.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No.”

“You sure?”

“Mmhm,” you drawled, taking the cherry left in your drink and biting it off in a way that you hoped was alluring.  “Though, I gotta say, it is a bit awkward to meet the man I wrote two papers about in high school.”

Shit, his laugh was beautiful.  Everything about him was beautiful.  Like Apollo or something...

James’s head was thrown back in laughter.  His cheeks were flushed, his eyes squeezed shut.  “Did you actually write two papers about me?” He asked as he tried to catch his breath.  At your nod, he smirked, leaning in close again.  “What did you write about?  How devilishly handsome I am?”

You couldn’t believe you were saying this.  “I mean, I can show you the papers and actually let you read them, but they’re at my place.”

Before he could pick his jaw up off the ground, there were other seniors in the group coming up to greet you.  Your throat was dry as the Sahara as you turned to face them, plastering on a smile as you tried to ignore the heated gaze on your face and the way he licked his lips.

The meeting was… long.  Boring.

Or at least, that’s how it felt when you had James’s dark, sultry eyes on you the entire goddamn time.

Mind fuzzy, you vaguely remembered agreeing to come to the next meeting, and even signing up for a hiking trip they were taking the next weekend.

As you headed outside, you felt Bucky’s hand slip into yours, his long, calloused fingers intertwining with yours.  “So…  Am I gonna get to come over and… read those papers?” He murmured, his lips brushing against your ear.

God, you could practically feel yourself bursting into flames.  You weren’t gonna survive.

Thank god your daughter had forced you into a full shower.

But what about how dirty your house was sure to be?

“Um…  Y-Yeah,” you said as you turned to look at him.  “But, my daughter is gonna be driving me home…  I don’t want her to know I’ve got someone coming over.  She’s nosey.  Real…  Real nosey.”

“Of course, darlin,’” he chuckled.  “Here, why don’t I give you my phone number, and you shoot me a text with your address when you’re ready for me to come over?”

Your head was swirling as you got into your daughter’s car, your phone burning a hole in your purse.

“How was it?” Josephine asked nervously once you got about halfway home.  She couldn’t tell from the look on your face.  “Did you like it?”

“Hm?  Yeah.”  Swallowing, you shot a text to James with your name, telling him you’d text him when it was all clear.

“Are you gonna go again?”

“Yeah.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

She seemed both dissatisfied and pleased by your vague answers.  At least you were getting out of the house.

Once you got home and said goodbye, it was a mad dash to ensure that your house was clean as could be.  Josie had put in some work while you’d been gone, it seemed.  She’d done the dishes and the laundry, as well as dusted.

Thank fuck.

You struggled for a solid twenty minutes to put fresh sheets and pillowcases on the bed, lighting two candles and placing them in a manner that you hoped seemed natural.

“Shit,” you cursed as you smelled under your arms.

Okay, quick body shower.  It seemed all that flirting had made you a tiny bit sweaty.

You turned the water to scalding and scrubbed your body down, exfoliating and using your best scented body wash.

And to be quite frank, you’d never shaved your lady bits as quick as that.

As you texted him your address and that it was safe to come over, you pulled on your clothing from the bar (though, you did put on nicer, matching lingerie underneath.)  By the time he’d gotten there, you’d downed two shots of tequila for a bit of liquid courage and had poured yourself a glass of wine.

“Hey, baby doll,” he said, a crooked grin on his face as you welcomed him inside.  His glove had been abandoned, and black metal fingers lined with gold glittered in the light.  “Woah…  You know, I wasn’t sure how your place was gonna look, but this is very… you.”

“Oh, really?” You asked as you offered him a glass of wine, which he gratefully took.  “How so?”

“I don’t know,” he chuckled as he swirled the deep red liquid in its glass.  “It’s cozy.  Sweet.”

Your throat was dry as you watched his adam’s apple bob as he took a drink.  “Um… so those papers…”

Bucky whispered your name, moving closer to you as he set the wine glass down on the counter.  “Baby girl, I’m not really here for the papers, am I?” He asked as your back hit the island.  “If I am…  If I am, then just tell me, and I’ll stop this.”  His slightly chapped lips ghosted against yours like the tease he was.  “Am I here just for the papers?”

“No,” you breathed out, before pressing your lips against his in a firm kiss at last.  His breath was minty and cool, with just a touch of the wine you’d been sharing, like he’d brushed his teeth before coming over just like you had.

Could it be possible he was just as nervous as you were?

But he was perfect?  Why the hell would he be nervous?

Your thoughts were cut short as he reached down, his hands firmly grabbing your ass as he lifted you up and set you on the counter.  “That’s a good girl,” he growled as he kissed down your neck, his hands working at your blouse.  “Couldn’t stop thinking about you during that whole stupid fucking meeting.  Just wanted to kiss you.  Just wanted to… to touch you.”  He pulled back, kissing you fiercely as his hands moved from your blouse to hold your face again.  “You gonna let me touch you, angel?”

A whine escaped your throat as you nodded, desperately yanking at his shirt.  Once it was off, you didn’t hesitate to run your hands over the broad planes of his chest.  He wasn’t quite as toned as you remembered from when you were younger, when you used to (occasionally) stalk (lightly) his social media accounts.  There’d been so many pictures of him on vacation with the other Avengers… all tanned and toned…

But you liked this better.  There was a softness to him now, a gentleness.

You were so distracted by his physique that you didn’t notice he’d gotten your shirt and bra off until the cold air hit your chest.  “Fuck,” you mumbled as his lips found your neck, trailing down to your breasts.

You couldn’t remember the last time you’d been kissed, let alone the last time you’d had such… attention.

Especially when his hands worked your pants off and he stood between your legs, moaning as his fingers tickled your thighs.  “You’re so beautiful,” he said as his lips wrapped around one nipple, suckling at it and teasing until it was diamond hard, and he moved on to the other.

Gotta be fair, after all.

“James…”

“Fuck, baby girl…  Never been with a woman as beautiful as you,” he growled, kissing down your tummy.  “You’re not making it out of here without orgasming at least twice,” he warned jokingly.  He was half bent over in front of the island, watching in wonder as he slowly pulled your silk panties down your legs and revealed your aching core to him.

“I-If you’re not comfortable standing like that, w-we can move somewhere else,” you stammered, suddenly growing self conscious.  What if he thought your pussy was weird?  Granted, you’d overcome thinking that when you were in your early twenties, after learning that each one looked different.

But he was born in the forties.

But that meant he’d probably seen an exponential amount of pussies!

Oh, god, there was no way you’d have anywhere near as much experience as him.  The only person you’d ever been with was your ex husband, and he wasn’t exactly the paradigm of lovers.

“Hey.”

You refocused with a shake of your head, your eyes meeting James’s.  “Yes?”

“You’re in your head,” he said softly, his forehead resting against yours as he slowly ran his fingers along your sensitive folds.  “There’s no need…  It’s just you and me, okay?  And you’re absolutely perfect.”

Your heart was melting inside your chest as you nodded, stealing a tentative kiss.  “Okay…  Just you and me.”

James nipped at your lower lip as he lifted you up, wrapping your legs around his waist.  “Come on.  I don’t want our first time to be on a kitchen counter.  Though I make no promises I won’t help christen every inch of this house after,” he said with a playful growl.

You whispered directions to your bedroom as he held you tight to his chest, his lips finding purchase on your neck.  “And here I thought you said the super soldier serum was wearing off,” you joked.

The man snorted as he pushed you up against the hallway wall.  “Trust me, doll, no lack of super soldier serum is gonna stop me from fucking you right,” he said, his voice husky and deep.

Before you could even open your mouth to reply, two thick fingers were slipping inside of you to slowly tease your cunt, his lips ghosting over yours.  “Does that feel good, sweetheart?”

You couldn’t find it in you to be embarrassed at the whimper that fell from your lips.  “Y-Yes.  Yes.  Please, I need more, James…”

James smiled into the kisses he’d been giving you.  “I’ll give you everything you want.”

“That’s a tall order.”  You threaded your fingers through his hair, shivering at the way his metal fingers dug into the plumpness of your ass.  “You sure you can fill it?”

He doesn’t respond with words, growling as he kisses you fiercely, carrying you to the bedroom.  You don’t have time to think before he’s crawling over you and kissing up your tummy to your lips.  “I need to be inside you,” He whispered as he stroked his length.

“Please…  Don’t wanna wait anymore,” you said.  Vaguely, you’re aware of the twinge in your knees from all the physical activity, and you knew you’d be sore as hell in the morning.

Fucking worth it, though.

James didn’t hesitate to line himself up, the head of his cock pressing against your entrance.  When he finally pushed in, unison moans fill the air.

“I…  I haven’t done this in… so long,” you finally admitted as he slowly pushed in more, taking his time.  Eyes locked, your mouth fell open in a soft ‘o’ as he bottomed out, his hips meeting yours.  “Oh, fuck…”

“Then I better do a real good job fucking you right.”

You weren’t quite sure how long you two lasted, but you do know he manages to pull three orgasms out of you in the space of just a few hours.  There’s snack and water breaks in between rounds, his cool metal hand running up and down your spine to cool you down as you two whisper in the dim light of your desk lamp.

You can’t remember a time that you’d felt so at peace.

A spark had been lit inside your chest as you two laid there in bed, legs intertwined.  Both of you were quiet, his fingers moving to caress your cheek.

There were no words that needed to be said.

His sea blue eyes are sparkling in the dim light, and your hand runs over the sharp stubble that lines his jaw.  It had certainly marked up your neck.

“I had intended on asking you on a date,” he said quietly as his hand found yours, bringing it to his mouth.  Chapped lips kissed each of your knuckles like you were something precious, something to behold.  “I didn’t think the five minutes or so before the meeting counted…  But I’d still like to take you on that date, if you’ll let me.”

“That sounds nice,” you said, a grin twinging at the corners of your lips.

“Yeah?” He asked, sitting up a bit as his fingers brushed against your forehead.

“Yeah.”  A giggle escaped your lips as he playfully tackled you, starting yet another round as his hips rolled down against yours.

The next morning, you woke up alone.  The sheets beside you were mussed, though the space James had been occupying was still a bit warm.

Jazz music floated down the hall, through the cracked door, and you could vaguely hear the clinking of pans.

It took you a minute to gather the will to get yourself out of bed and find your robe, but you finally did it.  As your feet hit the ground and you pushed yourself to a stand, you winced.

You had been right about feeling it in your knees.

You forced yourself to walk smoothly down the hall, despite how much it hurt.  Embarrassing yourself in front of James was the last fucking thing you wanted to do.

He was in the kitchen, standing in front of the stove and humming along with the old jazz song playing on the Bluetooth speaker.  He had a pan full of pancake batter in front of him, a whole stack he’d already made on the side.

Standing in the doorway, you couldn’t help but grin as you watched him.  He’s so handsome… and he seemed so at home in your kitchen.  In your home.

Maybe he’d like to move in…

You shook your head, knowing that it’s already too much.

But the thought was nice.

Him in his pajamas, making coffee…  Him in your shower…  Him in your bed every night…  

Yeah.  It’s a really, really nice thought.

“Hi.”

James jumped, his eyes wide as he whirled round to face you.  “Hi.  I thought I had another thirty minutes before I had to go and wake you up,” he said.  “I’m making pancakes.  For you.  For us.”  His cheeks flushed, turning a bright red as he turned back to the pan to quickly flip the pancake.  “I hope you don’t mind that I used your flour and shit…”

“Oh, no, I…  I almost never cook,” you admitted as you moved over to stand next to him, watching as he made two more pancakes.

As he carried the huge plate to the kitchen island, he teasingly grabbed your ass and squeezed.  “Maybe I’ll have to stay the night more often, if only so you get a homemade breakfast.”

It was sweet, and domestic, and somewhat terrifying.

You hadn’t had a man do anything for you like this since you were in your twenties, when your husband was still sweet and loving.

But even so, this was somehow better than anytime your husband made his famous burritos.

Maybe because James’s cooking actually tasted good.

Your first date was to a movie, a drive in.  Something that’s designed to be vintage but really just looked cheesy as all hell.

But it’s perfect.  Perfect and cheesy and romantic.

Your only complaint was that he didn’t kiss you at the door when he dropped you off.  He pressed his lips to your cheek and whispered a goodnight, and that was it.

It took two more dates within the same week for him to kiss you again.

Bright and early on the next Saturday morning, he knocked on your door, holding a bouquet of flowers.

“I figured I should make up for you having to be up so early with this,” he said as he came inside, kissing you quick before moving to put the flowers in a vase.

At this point, he knew your house almost as well as you did.  It felt good, when you two moved around like you were part of a team.

“Have you gotten your coffee this morning?” You asked, already pouring two travel mugs full of the good stuff.

He came up behind you, kissing your shoulder.  “I have, but you know I’ll never say no to more, doll.”

The rest of the group eyed you curiously as you got out of the same car, a few elbow nudges and whispers in the air.

“At least I know no old ass dickheads are gonna come hit on my girlfriend,” James growled in your ear, his calloused flesh hand squeezing your hip.

“Jamie…,” you whined, cheeks flushed in embarrassment.  No one had ever claimed you in such a way that made you feel so desired and… and worthy.

James made you feel worthy.

Which is something you’d only ever really gotten from your daughter.

It sent a bolt of arousal through you, and you were tempted to drag him back to the car so you could bring him right back home and do something about it.

Also…  Girlfriend?  Were you his girlfriend now?  Officially?

That just made you wanna find somewhere to fuck him even more.

But alas, you pushed the thought away as the lot of you boarded one of those white airport vans that took you out of the city to the closest state park.

“It’s beautiful,” you breathed out as you stared out the window, forehead pressed to the cool glass.  The morning air was a bit chillier than it had been lately, signaling the coming onslaught of winter.

Maybe Bucky would wanna make hot cocoa together… go sledding…  Would him, Josephine, and Danny would all come over for Christmas and New Years and—

Would he even want to meet Josephine?

Would Josie wanna meet him?

She had no idea that you’d found a—A boyfriend?

“Not as beautiful as you,” Bucky murmured against the shell of your ear as his vibranium fingers intertwined with yours and squeezed.  His stubble tickled your neck as he rested his head on your shoulder, watching the passing scenery with you.  “I’m really glad I met you, doll…”

“Me, too,” you said, grinning as you squeezed his hand back and leaned your head against his.

It was strange, falling so hard for someone so quick after everything you’d been through.

But you had a gut feeling.  One that you had never had with your ex husband.

James was a good one.  A really, really good one.

That reminded you.

When were you meant to tell him about all the shit you’d been through?

Despite the amount of time you had spent together already, you hadn’t found the courage for it.

Soon, you decided.

But first, you had to get through the damn hike.

Bucky was glued to your side the entire time, even though you were a lot worse at hiking than he was.  He would hold your hand, guiding you anytime there was a fallen tree or a creek.  His blue eyes were soft as he murmured encouragement, quietly praising your every move.

It was intoxicating.

So when you two fell behind from the group, watching them go around a curve and down a hill, you dragged James behind a large rock formation.

“Baby doll?  Darling, what the hell are you doing?” He laughed as you pressed a fierce kiss to his lips.

“Can’t a girl be spontaneous?” You teased as you dropped to your knees, ignoring the way a twig was poking into your left knee.  “Need to taste you.”

His eyes locked on you as you worked at his jeans, getting them down and off, his nails scratching at your scalp as he got a good grip on your head.  “Fuck…  Are you really this needy for me, angel?  Fuck, you’re so god damn gorgeous…  Look at you.”

Your heart pounded against your rib cage as you finally freed his length, a grin on your lips as you wrapped your hand around him and slowly stroked him.

Bucky’s eyes rolled back as your mouth wrapped around the head of his cock.  “Fucking shit…  Good girl…  Suck me off real good, baby.”

The group probably would notice your absence, not that you particularly cared.

Not when you had your man so weak for you.  And all you’d had to do was get on your knees.

His metal and flesh hands guided you to take more of him in, going at a slow pace so as not to hurt you.  He was so big there was no way you’d get all of him down your throat but what you couldn’t take in your mouth, you pleasured with your hands.

Pleasuring your partner like this was addicting.  You’d never felt the desire—no, the incessant need—to please your ex husband.  All you could think about was getting Bucky off, making him feel so good that he couldn’t see or walk straight.

You choked around him as you took him as deep as possible, your eyes glassy.  When you popped off, you stroked him as you moved down to carefully suck at his balls, fighting a grin as he gasped, his hips stuttering.  Before he could orgasm, you took him back in your mouth, wanting to swallow him down.

“Fuck, fuck—  Oh, shit…  Baby—  I’m gonna…  I’m gonna—”  Bucky broke off with a shout as he came, spilling down your throat.  His large hands stroked your cheeks as you swallowed all of it, barring the little bit that had gotten on your lower lip.  “You did so good, darling,” he cooed as he helped you stand, pressing you against the rock behind him as he kissed you.  “Are you okay?  I didn’t hurt you, right?”

“No, you didn’t,” you said, a faint smile on your lips as you helped him put himself back away.  “You were perfect, James…”

When you finally caught up to the group, a few of the others shot you knowing looks.

But Bucky just had a satisfied smirk on his lips, his hand tightly intertwined with yours even as you flushed in embarrassment.

“Once we get home, it’s your turn,” he whispered in your ear as you all headed back for the van.

Your relationship with James was… wonderful.

It was easy in a way you’d never had before.

Within just two months, he was living at your house almost full time, to the point where you’d been thinking about asking him to move in.

It was like you two were magnets.  Even when you both had work to do, you did it in the same room, slowly gravitating towards each other until you were sitting close, your foot running up his calf.

And he’d gotten you to start writing.

“It’s your dream, doll.  You’re never too old to chase your dreams,” he said one night as you two laid in bed.  His metal fingers were tracing shapes on your spine, a chill from the cracked window ruffling his sweaty hair.  “If you don’t mind me asking…  Why did you stop in the first place?”

Ah.

The conversation you’d been avoiding for so long.

Sitting up, you pressed your hands to your face as you tried to find the words to say.  “Um…  I was married before…  I know you know, but, uh…”  Your fingers fiddled together nervously.  You swallowed around the lump in your throat.  “My husband…  He wasn’t…  He wasn’t nice.  At all.”

Bucky immediately sat up behind you, his vibranium hand resting flat on your back to reassure you that he was there, and to give you something to focus on while you spoke.  He didn’t need to speak for you to know.  He was there and he wasn’t running.

“I married him young… and I had Josephine young…  He’d always been so… possessive, but I just considered it protective,” you continued, pulling strength from his touch to keep on going.  You needed to tell him this.  You needed him to understand.  “Then after Josie was born, he started getting violent.  He’d always been mean, but he’d never hit me until after I gave birth…”

James was tense behind you, slowly scooting over so he could wrap his arms around you, his legs resting on either side of yours as he held you.  He needed you close.  Needed to know you were safe in his arms and that man was long gone.

“Put me in the hospital a few times…  He at least didn’t do it in front of Josie.  That’s the one thing I asked of him that he listened to.”  You couldn’t help but snort as you slowly relaxed back against him.  “She always thought all the bruises and shit was just a side effect of how clumsy I am…  But she came home one day during college, to surprise us…  She walked in on him holding a frying pan above his head, about to swing again.  She jumped in between us and told him if he ever touched me again, she’d kill him.”  You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding as his lips pressed to your bare shoulder.  It was soothing, feeling his skin against yours.  “She moved me out of that house and into her apartment, helped me get the divorce, get back on my feet…”

“Remind me to tell Josephine thank you,” he said quietly as he squeezed you close.  “Thank you for telling me, doll…  I…  I can’t imagine how hard that was…  But he’ll never touch you again.  No one will ever touch you again if you don’t want it.”

“I know.”

He nuzzled into your hair, breathing in the scent of your shampoo.  “I love you.  So much…”

A peace settled over you as you rested your head back against his, allowing yourself to truly fall into him, to relax.  “And I love you…”

After that night, Bucky slept over at your place five to six nights a week, only going home to get more clothes and do his laundry really, even though you’d told him a million times he could do it at your place.

“Wake up, sweetheart,” he murmured in your ear one morning, pushing your hair away from your face.  “Time to get up…  I’ve got breakfast ready for you…”

Groaning, you tried to pull him down for more cuddle time, but he wasn’t having it.  He always woke up before you, too many years a soldier coming into play.  He’d go for a run and make breakfast before waking you up.

“Come on, doll,” he chuckled, pressing a quick kiss to your lips as he got you to sit up, your vision blurry from sleep still.  “Medicine,” he said, pressing your pills into your palm and putting a glass of water in your other. 

Ever since he’d found out about your prescriptions and how you had a hard time remembering to take them, he’d taken it upon himself to make sure you did, every morning and night without fail.

“What’d you make this morning?” You asked sleepily after swallowing your pills, letting him pull you to your feet.  His t-shirt clung to you as you followed him down the hall.  Your hand was tucked into his as you rounded the corner to the kitchen.

What neither of you had heard was the sound of the front door opening.

“Mama?!  What the hell?!” Josephine demanded, standing in the kitchen with Danny right behind her.  “Who the fuck is this?!  What is he doing here?!”

Oh.

Yeah.

You’d neglected to tell your daughter, afraid of how she might take it.

“Hello.  I’m James.  Or Bucky,” your boyfriend said as he held out his hand to you, clearly unashamed and standing his ground even though he was only wearing a pair of pajama pants.

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” Your daughter repeated angrily, ignoring his hand.

“Josie,” Danny began, trying to soothe her.

But your daughter was nothing but determined when she was in her protective mode.

Before you could open your mouth, Bucky supplied, “I’m her boyfriend.”

You felt a flush coming over you as she stared at the two of you, slack-jawed.  “He is,” you said, wrapping both of your arms around his metal one.  You were so nervous, you were shaking.

“When did this happen?!” She demanded, beginning to pace back and forth around the kitchen.

“Um…  The first meeting at the bar… for the club,” you said.  Seeing her so upset made your anxiety spike, and you knew James could feel it, could hear the way your heart rate increased exponentially.

Josephine whirled on you, her eyes—so much like yours—wide with disbelief.  No.  Betrayal.  “You’ve been seeing someone for almost three months and you didn’t tell me?”

“I…”  Tears pricked your eyes as you tightened your grip on Bucky’s arm.  This was not the way you wanted them meeting to go.  “I was scared… of how you’d react…”

At that moment, Bucky turned to meet your eyes, his forehead almost pressing against yours.  “Darling, I feel like this is a conversation you two should have alone, yeah?  So I’m gonna take—Danny, right?  Yeah—Danny to the living room with some coffee so we can get to know each other, okay?”

After a nod, and a squeeze of his hand, he got two mugs of coffee and led your daughter’s girlfriend to the living room.  You could see them sitting down from the corner of your eyes, but you were much too focused on Josephine.

“Mama, I—”

“I love him,” you said, before she could say anything more.

Her eyes were shining, locked on you as she waited for you to speak.  In her gut, she knew this was something you needed to get out.

“I love him more than I’ve ever loved a man.  More than I loved your father,” you whispered, your voice cracking.  “And I know…  I know you’re as protective as you are because you saw how he treated me.  You saw how much I hid that he was hurting you, but Jamie isn’t like that.”  Your fingers fiddled as you tried to keep yourself from pacing.  “He’s kind and adoring and gentle and…  and he loves me.  More than I thought anyone could ever love me.  And I know you feel like you need to take care of me and I am so grateful.  And I still need you.  Everyday.  But Bucky…  I love him.  I love him and he loves me and we take care of each other.”

Josephine reached out, slowly taking your hands in hers.  “He…  He makes you happy?  He takes care of you and you’re safe?” She asked, voice trembling as a few tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Yeah.  He takes real good care of me,” you insisted with a weak laugh.  “And I’ve never been so happy before, honey.  I promise.”

“Okay…,” she said, taking a deep breath.  “I’m still giving him the shovel talk.”

Bucky looked up as Josephine entered the living room, looking much calmer.  He wasn’t sure what you’d said, but it had seemed to placate her for the time being.

“Can we talk outside?” She asked him, keeping her chin high.

God, she looked so much like you.

He nodded stiffly, getting to his feet and leaving his mug behind as he followed her to the front door and out onto the porch.  The former super soldier watched as she paced back and forth, biting her thumb.  “I’ve heard a lot about you,” he said finally, breaking the silence.

Josie stopped in her tracks, listening quietly.

“Your mama loves you something fierce.”  Nervously rubbing his hands on his pajama pants, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so nervous meeting a girl’s family.

Though, he supposed it was a bit different when it was meeting your girlfriend’s daughter.

“And I love her.”

Your daughter, your mini me, stared him directly in the eyes.  “I’m sure she’s told you about my father.  What he did.”

“She did.”

“So you know that if you put one fucking foot out of line, I’ll filet you?”

“I do.”

She eyed him for a long moment.  “What are you in this for?  What’s the long term?” She asked.  “I’ve heard of elders just… settling for someone because they don’t wanna be alone in their twilight years.  Is that what this is?”

Bucky tried really hard not to feel a little bit offended.  He wasn’t that old.  “I’ve been alive since 1917,” he said slowly.  “I have no doubt you know who I am.  But I’ve been alive a hundred and something years, and I’ve never met someone who makes me feel the way your mom does.”  His heart clenched inside his chest as he thought of you, seeing your shy smile in the mornings, how you clung to him when you went out in public, the sound of your voice as you read an excerpt of your writing to him, so nervous about what he would think.  “And I…  I can say that everything I’ve been through…  Everything I’ve ever been through was worth it, because I got to meet her.  And I get to be hers for the years I have left.”

She looked absolutely speechless.  “Good,” she said, coughing to clear her throat.  “Good.  I just…  I can’t see her get hurt again.  Not after everything.”

“Trust me, I don’t plan to,” he said, his mouth dry.  “I…  I actually have something to ask you about…  Been waiting to meet you to talk to you about it…”

Inside, you paced the kitchen and living room, going back and forth and back and forth, sometimes moving to the window to try to hear what they were saying.  But they were keeping it all very hushed.

“It’s gonna be fine, mama,” Danny said, standing up and moving to wrap her arms around you.  “Josie’ll see how much you two love each other, and it’ll be fine.  She’s just gotta have her protective moment.  You know how she is.”

Sniffling, you hugged her tightly.  “I shouldn’t have kept it from her for so long…  I was just so nervous…  They both…  They both mean the world to me.”  You paused, snorting.  “I knew you’d approve of him.  I wasn’t so worried about you.”

“Oh, please, the way that man looked at you?” She said, laughing as she kissed your forehead.  “Mama, there’s no way in hell that man would ever hurt you.  He looks at you like you’re his entire universe.”

Heart warm, you glanced towards the front door, wishing they’d just come inside already.  “I’ve never felt something like this…  But fuck, if the whole shit show that’s my life wasn’t worth it for him…  I wouldn’t change a thing, as long as it means I get to end up with him.”

You broke out of her grasp as the front door opened and they came back inside, looking relaxed and even… happy?  “Well?  You aren’t gonna kill him?” You asked Josie as you moved to James, heart racing.

“Nah…,” she said, giving him what seemed like a secretive smile.  “As far as dads go…  He’d be pretty nice to have.”

“What?” You said, brows furrowing as you looked between the two of them.

Bucky chuckled, winking at Josephine as he led you to the stove where breakfast was still waiting, making you waddle as his arms wrapped around you from behind.  “Don’t worry your pretty head about it, baby doll.  It’s all good.”

You still couldn’t help but feel like the two were planning something as he made your plate for you, cutting up your pancakes and filling up your coffee.  “Why do I feel like you two are gonna end up ganging up on me?”

“Oh, come on, mama,” Josephine said with a smirk on her face.  Her and Danny had made their own plates and joined you and Bucky in the living room.  “How could you ever accuse us of such a thing?”

“Yeah,” James said as he fed you a bite of pancake.  “How could you ever accuse us of such a thing?” He asked, before leaning in and stealing a kiss.  “I love you.”

You’d never felt more relaxed, surrounded by the people you loved the most in the world.  What you’d said to Josephine had been true.

“I love you more,” you said, leaning back in for another kiss.

You’d never been so happy.