#gotta stay true to my roots and whatnot

[iammyowngodandmartyr]

TELL ME IM ALIVE

[honeyjaez]

Y’all ready for my shitty opinion on the Introduction Kingdom performances that literally no one asked for?

I preface this by saying I love every single group equally and each of these groups (with the sad exception of iKON) I am a hard core fan of. But I also love practicing thinking subjectively and I pride myself on not being too biased when it comes to performances and Kpop, like I know how to understand sometimes my ult might not be the best vocally or whatnot. I like being unbiased with this. So without further ado.

This is not based on scores already known, just my own thoughts.

(And also like these ranking do not reflect my love for a group or if I think they are untalented because all these groups are so massively talented. but rankings have to happen right?  Like someones gotta be last but i don’t love them any less lol) 

6. Stray Kids (and this hurts as a Stray Kids Ult)

A group that I think really hurt with forced to having to perform the song that they did. (Their only other option was Back Door or levanter but it doesn’t really hit the same as Miroh so I understand why they chose it). The song is still my favorite title track by them (Also Im such a hoe for center Minho like....), but it’s SUCH a hard song to perform live. I remember all the issues they had during the era and still saw a lot of that here, more specifically with the insane rap parts. Its just not something easily done live (I say this like I know how to rap) but it doesn’t take a lot to realize that Changbin’s rap is so insanely fast (which props to him) that it can still be difficult for him. Also I think the backtrack of the song really hindered the performance. It was just too loud. Like you know those performances when you can really tell a group has some relying on the backtrack and others don’t? I have nothing wrong with lip synching, honestly, I could care less by it because I understand they are doing so much movement on stage that I couldn’t understand how to do both. But it takes away from the performance when you hear the difference in members performing live and those who are relying a bit more on it. Stray Kids are AMAZING performers and CAN sing/rap live. It was very cool though I guess with props but it was like they were trying to distract people from the lack of performance. I just think that having to perform Miroh (I know they didn’t get to pick really) was their downfall to me. But the outfits were cool! Regardless, they are still #1 in my heart and I look forward to the other performances!!!  But with more Seungmin!!!!!

6. ATEEZ

Next to The Boyz, I am most excited about seeing ATEEZ on Kingdom. One because Korea seriously needs to stop sleeping on them, but two because they are such intense and talented performers.  True to form they came in crashing! Unfortunately, the only reason they are so low is that there wasn’t anything that really made them stand out from the others to me. I do appreciate the classic ATEEZ intensity (but like also Hongjoong please don’t be all serious and death stare while suddenly saying Hakuna Matata, I couldn’t take it seriously). But the VOCALS win most intense which sells towards their performance. I appreciated Ateez so much for their intense singing (looking at you Seonghwa and Jongho). I do think that having to perform Wave didn’t really help them. (From my understanding is that MNET told them they had to perform a song that placed #1 which for them was only Wave, or Inception  which they already performed at MAMAs (we did Wonderland so dirty)) Not that I hate Wave (its actually my favorite title track by them) and I did enjoy the composition of this new darker Wave, but could you imagine if they had come in swinging with Pirate King or Wonderland? Hell fucking yes. Regardless, looking forward to see how they grow as the youngest group on there! I have nothing but high hopes for them!

4. SF9 

Now You guys know how much I love SF9. They are practically an unofficial ult group for me. But this is not based off song because I actually can’t stand Good Guy (I overplayed it when it came out and now I hate it (not really but ya know) ) I remember people saying SF9′s performance wasn’t really memorable, but I didn’t see that. I saw an idol group coming out for the first time to prove something and actually shocking me with how intense they were. They really looked like Gang Members (handsome ones at that) ready to rule the world with their performance. Their looks and their dancing was great. I love SF9 and they haven’t had a lot of opportunities to showcase their talents like this so I look forward to how they shock the other group (also if they don’t do the wheel from K.O in a single performance I will riot) but all in all I think this was a solid performance by them! I laughed at the beginning with Inseong holding the crystal diamond because I couldn’t help but think back to tbz and the crown on rtk. I hope they also do story driven performances on here because I haven’t seen that from them before and I think it would be great!

3. BTOB

Can I just say I appreciate the fact that they are staying true to their vocal roots? So much Kpop these days is intense and in your face with everything, and I worried about a vocally driving group like BTOB being on this program because they’ve never been about the choreography (though I’ll be your man was lit) but just like how everyone reacted, BTOB focusing on their vocals rather than dance was such a breath of fresh air in this round. They really are vocal kings in KPop and the chills that some of those idols felt were so important. Like Wooyoung said after their performance “Vocals are so powerful” (or something like that) and I sometimes feel that people forget that. Intense dancing is great and all, but to wow people with just your voice like they did is a feat not every group can do. The  acapella was such a nice tough too. Beautiful Pain is such a beautiful song (ha) and the remix they did for it was just so nice. My only complaint is that we didn’t get enough Minhyuk vocals :(((((

2. The Boyz

Aight, people might accuse me of being biased based on how whipped I was for The Boyz back during RTK, but I’m really not. Like the other groups agreed on, you can tell The Boyz were on RTK. You can tell they have been through a program like this and they came in swinging. They have a lot of pressure on them after the wonderful performances on RTK and I think the opening performance they did didn’t disappoint. They are such good storytellers when it comes to performances (something Ateez is also really good at as well). They just get you immersed in their performances and thats something unique to certain groups. They were just meant to perform. Regardless of scores, The Boyz are proving to be fierce competitor from the get go and not to name names, but Sunwoo is such an amazing rapper live like holy shit. He needs more credit. RTK was amazing for them and I am sure Kingdom will be just that as well!

1. iKON

God I hope Kingdom will turn me from a casual fan to a hardcore ikonic. What I loved about iKON’s performance is a lot like BTOB’s or even SF9′s. There was a sense of branding, like this style was their’s and theirs alone. Also their performance brought so many smiling and happy faces to the crowd. A lot of younger groups look up to iKON and you even heard how many idols there and evaluations to their songs or what not. They just had so much fun on stage and that reflected on the audience who in turn also had a blast. I wasn’t sure how I would feel watching them since out of all the groups I’m least attached to iKON, but just with that causal, fun, but intense performance of rytham-ta one could easily see them as Kings already.  I didn’t notice any thing out of place because I was just enjoying the performance completely. And to me, thats the most important part of a performance.

Again, these were just my opinions on this introduction stage. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the performances. Your rankings, and who you look forward to see more from! We will have a fun time with Kingdom on my blog! <3 :3

I look forward to future rounds and what other groups have to offer!

[ruewrites]

We’re Blooming Together Chapter 4: Sweet

AO3

Ships: Solomon/Asmo

Word Count: 3693

Warnings: None

Chapter 1-Chapter 2-Chapter 3-Chapter 4-Chapter 5-Chapter 6-Chapter 7-Chapter 8-Chapter 9-Chapter 10-Chapter 11-Chapter 12

Asmo pulled the covers over his head. His weekend beauty alarm hadn’t gone off yet, why was he awake? He’d just been having another wonderful dream too. It took a while for it to register, but then he heard the rustling . Asmo peeled open one of his eyes. Then he blinked once. Twice.  No. He wouldn’t dare .

Mammon was crouched next to his dresser, going through Asmo’s things.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Asmo growled, tossing the blankets back. Mammon jumped and turned towards his younger brother. He painted a smile across his face and started to pat Asmo’s head.

“I just wanted to wake up my little brother, is that so bad?” he asked. Asmo swatted his hand away and glared at him. Never mind that Asmo’s hair was still messy, he didn’t need Mammon messing it up more. Plus he was already angry. He’d caught Mammon going through his things! What a great way to start his morning. Then he saw what Mammon had in his hands.

“What are you doing with that?”

“Oh? This?” Mammon held up the letter. Asmo’s letter. “You don’t see fancy little things like this around. ‘Specially when it ain’t even ‘ya birthday. And now you’re gettin all defensive-”

“Because I woke up to you going through my stuff dipshit. ”

Mammon smirked and looked closer at the letter, “So you don’t care if I read it?”

“Put it down!” Asmo screeched, lunging from the mattress to his older brother. Mammon cackled and held the letter above his head, while pushing Asmo back with his other arm. He let out a whistle, eyes quickly scanning over the page.

“ Woooow . You gotta lil’ Romeo on your hands right here!” Mammon mused. Asmo could feel his face start to heat up, especially when Mammon started to clear his throat, “Your eyes sparkle and outshine all of the stars in the sky, your lips curl up in the most perfect of arcs-”

“Quit it Mammon! Give it back!” Asmo felt like he was in middle school again. Why couldn’t Mammon just grow up? Seriously! Asmo wasn’t sure whether he was going to die of embarrassment or spend the rest of his life in jail for reenacting the story of Cain and Abel.

Mammon lowered the letter just a bit, “This fella really likes you  a lot, big brother Mammon might just have to get the bat out.”

Asmo growled and lunged towards the letter, scratching Mammon in the process.

“Ow! Hey! Keep those claws away from me!”

“Give me my letter back and I won’t tear your eyes out!” He was holding back only slightly. The last thing he wanted to do was tear one of his precious letters. Each one was special, he could let harm come to a single one of them.

Asmo followed Mammon’s gaze as he looked over to the corner of the room. Asmo didn’t realize he could have become even more livid. His things were upturned, all of his letters and little gifts sprawled out on the floor. “They the person that gave you all of those as well? What? Can’t you bring ‘em home to meet your family? Or are they talkin you outta lettin us meet ‘em?”

Oh now Mammon wanted to play the part of protective big brother. First, he came in and started rooting through his room. Second, he rudely woke Asmo up. Thirdly, he started reading Asmo’s private letters. And now he wants to integrate him? No. Absolutely not. No way.

“For your information, I don’t know who they are, hence them signing off the letters with Secret ,” Asmo huffed, snatching his letter back, trying to crinkle it as little as possible. “And if you even think about telling anyone, especially if you let it slip to our dearest older brother, I swear Mammon-”

“Okay. Okay! Cool it, why would I ever tell anyone?”

Asmo narrowed his eyes.

“Alright, I wouldn’t tell anyone on purpose .”

That was reassuring. Asmo smoothed out the letter and carefully inspected it for any tears or serious crinkles before going to reorganize his gifts. Small candies, a small bunny keychain, cute things that Asmo would enjoy. Mammon watched him for a moment, shifting from side to side. Asmo was happy he didn’t try to take a step closer. He wanted a little bit of space.

“Hey,” Mammon finally said as Asmo went to rehide his things in a drawer close to his bed, “I’m sorry alright? I just want to know what’s  goin on with you guys. You aren’t always open with things ya know.”

“Neither are you.”

“Touche.”

Mammon ran his fingers through his hair and sighed, “Ya don’t have to worry about me goin and telling Lucifer a’ight? Promise.”

Asmo raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, “And going through my room?”

“Can’t promise you that I won’t do that.”

Asmo sighed. Well, at least he knew he wouldn’t go telling Lucifer…  Not that he would in the first place. But if he did, he could always use Mammon going through their rooms as a deflection. Although he wasn’t sure how well that would hold up, or how long it would hold Lucifer’s focus (if it even did in the first place).

“I only do it ‘cus, I wanna know what’s going on in your life.” Mammon mumbled, “And if this asshole hurts ya, I wanna know! ‘Cus no one hurts any of the Great Mammon’s little brothers!”

Asmo sighed, “Well there are better ways to figure out what I’m up to. Like asking me.” Although, the second half did earn a little snort out of him. Even if Mammon could be a complete asshole sometimes, he did still look out for them. Just like how he’d confront bullies for them as kids.

“Yeah, yeah. Just don’t scare them off before I get to know them.”

Honestly. Lucifer’s energy had been enough to make most of his past lovers almost behave (at least when he was around). He’d always sat them down, made sure they understood how his little brothers should be treated even if it made Asmo want to die of embarrassment. If Mammon had been in the same position, all of those partners would have left. Whether it would have been out of fear or from no longer wanting any part in Asmo’s family he would never know nor did he wish to find out.  

Asmo made his way over to his dresser and plopped down. Well, he was awake now. No point in trying to go back to bed, so he might as well get ready. “If you don’t mind brother dearest, I think I’m going to get ready.”

“You goin somewhere?”

“Studying with Solomon if you must know.”

“Ahhh. Studying gotchu.”

“Solomon’s not that type of guy, now shut up and get out.”

“Love you too my dear little brother.”

Maybe he shouldn’t let Mammon go with his secret. It really did seem like a bad idea, his brother walking around with his secret. Sure he had trusted Satan with his secret, but Mammon? Well Mammon had found out on his own, unfortunately. Even if it left a bad taste in his mouth, he had other things to worry about now. He had places to be.

*******

Solomon’s apartment was nice, and he didn’t have to worry about his brothers interfering or being distracting. Not to mention, the living room was also filled with natural light, which not only made it bright but warm as well.

If any situation outside of parties showed how much Asmo struggled with the concept of personal space, it was having his work sessions with Solomon. He never had a problem when it was an assignment that had to do with his designs, but whenever it was something that strayed from his beloved focus his head was on Solomon’s shoulder and he was whining.

“Solomon,” he huffed, putting his laptop down and slumping against him, “This assignment doesn’t even make sense. How am I supposed to write a new groundbreaking paper when everything that could of been said has already been said? Solomon this class doesn’t make any sense.”

He could feel Solomon’s chuckle rumble through his chest. It was a really was a nice sound, like distant thunder. “You didn’t have to take this class with me you know. It’s part of my degree, it’s just credits for you,” he said, placing his things to the side and placing Asmo’s laptop on his lap..

“Demonology sounded really interesting, and you made it sound fun,” he pouted, “Besides, the class is interesting enough. I just hate these stupid papers.”

“I’ll read over it for you, don’t worry.” He always did.

Asmo watched over his shoulder as he made little notes in the margin. He was comfortable next to Solomon. Honestly he hoped that Secret would be okay with him doing things like this. Or that he could do things like this with Secret…. Or that Solomon was Secret.

No.

Nope.

He shouldn’t go there. Solomon was his best friend. He wasn’t going to think of him like that, even if he was cute, and smart, and funny, and attractive…

Even if the best relationships sprouted between the closest of friends….

He really needed to change the subject.

“Is it too late to drop out? I could become a stripper.”

Solomon turned to look at him, eyebrow quirked. He let out a soft hum, letting his eyes look over Asmo for just a second. Then he nodded, “You’d make a cute stripper.”

Asmo’s face turned red, “No! You’re not supposed to say that! You’re my best friend. You’re supposed to either talk about how I should stay in school or that you’d drop out too and join me!” Not compliment how cute he was . While Asmo enjoyed it, it wasn’t what Solomon was supposed to say. Maybe he was joking, but Asmo would think of it as a genuine compliment. “I already know I’d make a cute stripper,” he mumbled.

Like Solomon thought of his body like that. Even if it was true.

“Ah. You’re right. I’m sorry. You’d make a horrible stripper. Stay in school. Don’t drink. Don’t do drugs. More words of wisdom and whatnot.”

“ Solomon .”

Of course he could have pulled his face away. He could move to the opposite side of their workspace and stay there. But he didn’t. Asmo stayed curled up where he was,face partially buried in the fabric of Solomon’s shirt, his cologne flooding his senses. Solomon’s smug smirk was still plastered to his face, but his eyes were trained on Asmo’s paper. He had no right to be so smug, especially when Asmo’s entire body was heating up and he was starting to pout.

Sometimes Solomon could drive him more crazy than his brothers could ever dream of doing. But it was a different type of crazy. A type of crazy that made him want to tackle Solomon to the couch and-

“Pardon me.”

Asmo lifted his head slightly,  to turn and look at Simeon. He was holding a tray of cupcakes in his hands. They were pretty. Icing swirled to near perfection in different pastels and covered in shiny white chocolate pearls. Simeon didn’t often intrude on their study sessions. Sometimes he would join for a bit, but he didn’t want to be a distraction. Well, that and he had to look after Luke.

Speaking of Luke, the kid was not too far behind Simeon, looking anywhere but at Asmo and Solomon.

“I do hope I’m not interrupting, but Luke thought you both might like a cupcake. He made them himself.”

“I had some extra,” Luke clarified, “They have a lemon cream filling.”

Simeon set the tray on the table and Solomon nodded, “Thank you Luke, I’m sure that they’ll be wonderful.” Asmo nodded in agreement. That was another perk of working at Solomon’s. There was always some sort of wonderful treat waiting. The kitchen always smelled like a bakery.

He watched as Solomon reached over him and towards the tray for one of the treats, quickly followed by Asmo’s own hand. They lightly brushed together for just a moment, but Asmo was quick to take one of the cupcakes and yank his hand back.

Simeon’s eyes were fixed to them the entire time.

“Solomon.”

“Hm?”

“I’m going to take Luke to the library. We may be out for a while. Remember to lock the door if you go out?” His eyes flickered between the two of them for a moment. Before settling on Solomon. The look he gave Solomon was unreadable to Asmo.

“Alright, have fun,” Solomon smiled, turning back to Asmo’s paper.

Simeon smiled and nodded, “We will, it was good seeing you Asmo." With that, Simeon turned, graceful as ever, and left with Luke.

Asmo’s nose crinkled, “What was that about?”

“Luke made cupcakes.”

“No no. That look Simeon gave you.”

Solomon leaned back and licked a bit of the icing from the cupcake, “Oh. I don’t know. Maybe I forgot to lock the door last time.”  He wasn’t looking at Asmodeus, gaze transfixed on the wall. Weird.  “Anyways, I think your paper looks fine. There’s just a few things I’d change, but I think it hit everything it needed to.”

Asmo smiled, a little more relaxed now about the assignment. He trusted Solomon’s judgement. Finally Asmo took a bit of his own cupcake. The cake was soft and moist, and Luke’s homemade icing and filling were both so fluffy and light. He couldn’t help but let out a soft moan. It was just too good. On more than one occasion he considered asking if he could move in, just so he could get little treats like this on a daily basis.

The sound of Solomon clearing his throat snapped Asmo out of his sweet-induced trance and over to his friend. Solomon had moved on and was now staring intently down at one of his textbooks. However, he didn’t miss the slight coloration in Solomon’s face.

“What?”

“Nothing. Just… Something in the book.”

“Ooh can I see?” Asmo scooted closer and tried to peak over into the pages below. However, Solomon quickly snapped the book shut and held it out of Asmodeus’ grasp.

“Nope. It’s gone now.”

“Aw come on, please Solomon? If it made you all blushy it must be good!” Asmo asked. He wasn’t about to let himself be left out from whatever spicy romance lied within the book Solomon was trying to keep from him.  Solomon stood little chance against his friend, who  was practically- no, not practically - who was climbing on top of him.

“Asmodeus!” Solomon’s voice cracked as he fell over, still trying to hold the book over his head as Asmodeus fell on top of him laughing. One arm wrapped around Asmo’s waist in an attempt to keep him away from the book.

“Come on Solomon!” he giggled, reaching for the book, only for it to be flung to the other side of the room and hitting the wall with a soft thud.  Asmo huffed and went to stand to scurry after the book, only to be stopped by Solomon sitting up, both arms around him. “Oh you are such a child.”

“I’m the child?” Solomon snorted, “You’re the one who can’t let it go.”

“I call it persistence and knowing what I want. Now let me see!”

Asmo  felt himself try to wiggle out of Solomon’s arms, only to be met with more resistance from him. “Well I don’t even remember what page it was on so you’re just gonna have to forget about it,” he huffed, throwing his body weight against Asmo and sending him to the floor and making him yelp ever so slightly.

“Owwwww, Solomon! That hurt.”

“Ah, sorry.” Solomon sat up but only slightly, he looked worried, hand moving to the side of Asmodeus’ head. “Are you okay?”

Asmo’s breath caught in his throat. The sun from the window outlined him in such a heavenly way. Each shadow on his face traced his strong jaw and cheekbones.He felt his hand stroke through his hair, feeling along his skull.

Asmo never let anyone touch his hair after he styled it.

“Any pain? Are you dizzy?”

“Ah… No…”

Well, not dizzy in the way Solomon was thinking. What could he say? What could he do? Well he could tell Solomon to get off, if he ever found his voice….

Then Solomon’s thumb swiped across his lips, and brought it up to his own mouth.

Icing.

“You could have just told me,” Asmo huffed, propping himself up on his elbows

Solomon was back on his haunches now, wrapped up in the icing, “What? Luke makes good icing.” Asmodeus rolled his eyes and shoved at Solomon’s chest.

“You’re insufferable.”

“Not insufferable enough for you to stop spending time with me,” Solomon chuckled. He got off of Asmodeus and helped him sit up, hands lingering just a little longer than necessary. Then the silence took over again.

It wasn’t the same silence as before though. This time it was a bit more awkward, filled with shifting bodies and uncertainty over what to say next. Asmo’s attention went to his phone. After all, social media made for a wonderful distraction. Flipping to the camera, Asmo decided to look over his appearance. He definitely needed to fix his hair. The lighting was amazing here.

“Wanna take a picture?”

Solomon perked up at the sudden break in the silence and looked at the two of them in the camera. “Do you wanna take a picture?” he asked, chest nudging against Asmo’s back. Asmo ignored the fluttering occurring deep within him, even if it was a nice feeling.  He would be a liar if he said he didn’t lean back into his touch.

“Just pick up one of the cupcakes and hold it up,” Asmo instructed, “It’ll be cute, trust me. Plus showing off my future number one model could be a good marketing strategy.”

Asmo felt Solomon’s chin rest on his shoulder as he tried to find the right angle to take the photo at. “You know, you keep posting pictures like this and people might start thinking I’m a little more than a ‘best friend’ or ‘model’,” he said, resisting the temptation to start digging into the second cupcake.

“And who cares what they think?”

Even as Asmo said it, his stomach sunk a little. Well, maybe Solomon cared if people thought they were together. They were just friends. That was it. Maybe there was someone Solomon liked, someone he wanted to  impress, and Asmo was ruining his chances by taking photos like these. Solomon had gone along with (most of) his ideas for most of the time they’d been together. Maybe he was just too nice to say no to Asmo’s little ideas. Maybe-

“Hey.” Solomon was looking at him, “Are you going to take it?” His face was a lot closer than Asmo realized.

“Oh! Yeah, yes, sorry. Just trying to find the right angle… There!”

Click.  

They both stared at the photo for a moment, Asmo more than aware of how Solomon hadn’t left his position. “I like it. You were right. It’s nice.”

Solomon had the nicest, sweetest smile he’d ever seen on another person.

“Are you going to post it?”

How did he always look so relaxed ?

But before Asmo  could reply, a notification popped up on his phone. Then another and another and another and-

He was used to his phone blowing up, but he hadn’t even posted the picture yet. Looking deeper into the source, he found that they were all from his brothers, mainly Mammon and Levi. Slowly Asmo clicked on the notification.

L3vi : You have a girlfriend?

Mammoney : Asmo I’m sorry

L3vi : Or boyfriend?

Mammoney : Please don’t kill me

L3vi : Why did you tell Mammon and not me? That’s not fair!

Mammoney : I didn’t mean to-

L3vi : I read a manga with a plot like this once-

Mammoney : It just kinda came out

L3vi : I know the perfect way to figure out who this is!

Mammoney : Asmo?

He wanted to scream. He put his phone down, ignoring the rest of the notifications. Yeah. He should have killed Mammon earlier. It hadn’t even been a full twenty-four hours. The only thing he could be thankful for was that he didn’t tell Lucifer… As far as he knew.

Asmo was going to kill him.

“I thought your brothers didn’t know.”

Solomon’s voice brought Asmodeus back to reality, it didn’t stop his fuming, but it did bring him back to where he was.  “They didn’t,” he hissed, “Well, I mean I told Satan, but he was going to be the only one to know. Mammon certainly wasn’t supposed to know and-” Asmo’s words dissolved into a groan. His study session with Solomon had been going so well too. They’d been productive... for the most part.

He flopped onto Solomon’s shoulder and let out a whine. “Just let me move in with you please!” he whimpered, “I promise I won’t bother Simeon and Luke too much and you know I’m neat and clean. My brothers are going to drive me to an early grave, or worse, give me wrinkles .”  

Solomon snorted which only made Asmodeus’ pout deepen. “Rude. This is a very serious matter.”

“Don’t you think you’re being a tad overdramatic?”

All Asmo did was cross his arms in response. Solomon sighed and looked down at Asmodeus. “Well… I can’t say that there’s space for you to move in-”

“Not even the couch? Or sharing a bed?”

Solomon held up his finger, “But, I can walk you home. If you’d like. I can be your human shield and protect you from your brothers.”

Asmo thought for a moment, arms uncrossing and fingers playing with the hem of Solomon’s sleeve. Having Solomon walk him home could be the next best thing (aside from just spending the night), and he would be able to distract himself from the dread and embarrassment that awaited him back home. Walking back home with Solomon was always nice regardless. Who didn’t like to spend more time with their best friend?

[oldxsoulsx]

Always Yours - Kryoz OneShot

oooof. Sorry this was so long guys! It took maybe an hour for me to write, but it felt like 10. I’m at work now, which is where I write most of the time (my client goes to bed at like 7:30, I gotta stay up until midnight so what else should I do lol)

But here ya go. A super long, super fluffy, probably not as good as I think it is Kryoz OneShot!

When you saw him, you knew you were fucked.

Disheveled bleached hair, with brown roots growing out. Rings on almost all 10 fingers, nails painted different colors. Vape in his right hand, phone in his left.

Is this the person that Jaren had wanted you to meet?

You sighed, making your way over to the stranger, and your best friend of 10 years. When Jaren saw you, a smile stretched on his face.

“(Y/N)!” he called, jumping up when you reached the two to give you a hug. You smiled softly, the comfort of your best friends arms giving you courage. “I’d like you to meet my friend, John. He’s in Canada for a week or two, we have to catch up on making videos together.”

You smiled at the other boy, raising a hand in a somewhat half wave. He stood up, stretching his arms out.

“Come on, (Y/N), any friend of Jarens is a friend of mine,” he says, pulling you into a hug. Your face flushed a bright red, and the smell of his cologne captured your senses.

“Best friend actually. Ten years and counting. Don’t de-rank me,” you say, pulling away. The confidence that came out of your mouth shocked you, but John just laughed.

“Damn, Smitt. She’s feisty. Where have you been keeping her all these years?!”

“For the time that I’ve known you? The guest room of my house. You’re sleeping on the couch this time, bud,” Jaren said, patting Johns back. John pretended to wipe a tear away from his cheek, and you giggled.

“I couldn’t let you sleep on the couch. That shit sucks. I’ll move some of my stuff out and into Jaren’s room for the time being, no biggie,” You say, and Jaren scoffs. You knew he was about to complain, but you shot him a look that quieted him down in a second.

“I can cut the tension with a knife,” John laughs nervously. “You two like… a thing?”

“No!” you say quickly. Everyone thought you two were dating, or at least on the road to dating. You were sick of it, Jaren was more of a family to you than your actual family. And you couldn’t ever imagine dating him. No bueno.

“Ouch, (Y/N). Way to hurt my feelings,” Jaren said , and you sighed.

“So, now that I’ve walked my happy butt to you guys, what’re you planning for the day?” You asked, changing the subject. John laughed, taking a hit of his vape. You reach your hand out, asking for a hit “I promise I don’t have any type of disease. Just the itch for nicotine is killing me and I don’t have any more Juul pods left,” you explain.

John hands you his vape, impressed with the cloud you blew out afterwards.

“I was thinking grab some food, and then just take a walk. You two can get to know each other and whatnot,” Jaren explains, and you nod, handing the vape back to John. He probably didn’t feel it, but when your fingers brushed against his, it was almost like electricity shot through your arm.

“Yeah sure… let’s go,” you say awkwardly, clearing your throat and walking ahead of the boys. You already knew exactly where you were going. When Jaren invites one of his gaming friends to visit, he always wanted to go to his favorite restaurant. You absolutely hate it, and you think that half of the reason he invites his friends is because it gives him an excuse to go. You never go with him anymore, other than his birthday.

“Please tell me we’re not going back to that crappy place you took me last time. I mean, come on. The shrimp wasn’t even cooked the whole way through!” You heat from behind you, and you slow your pace a bit to hear the conversation.

“I told you not to get the shrimp. That’s (Y/N)’s favorite meal and every time she orders, she expects a different outcome. It’s always the same. Jesus, you two should just get married already, same taste in food and shit,” Jaren huffs, but then mumbles under his breath about going to your favorite restaurant. You smile, walking towards him and linking your arm with his.

“Thanks, J,” you say, and he nods.

Once the little restaurant was in view, you three made your way inside. The warmth of the kitchen seeped into the dining area, delicious smells circling throughout the building. You felt at peace.

The waitress seated you, handing you guys your menus. You sat alone, John and Jaren opposite you. Giving your drink orders to the waitress, you scanned the menu. You already knew what you were going to get, so this was just to see what new items were added since the last time you came. You looked up, seeing the boys whispering to each other and laughing, probably making obscene and rude jokes and comments. You smile a bit, glad that today turned out much better than expected.

_______________

“I’m hungry,” John whined, and you rolled your eyes.

“We just ate two hours ago?” You said, and he nodded.

“Yeah, but I’m American. We eat all the time.” He jokes, and you smile. “Ice cream?” he asks, pointing at the store front next to you. You nod, making your way into the shop.

“Jaren’s going to be so pissed, this is his all time favorite ice cream place,” you said, giving your order to the teen behind the counter.

“Yeah, well he’s probably getting some good good right now, if ya know what I mean,” John winked, nudging you. You suppressed a laugh, knowing that that assumption was probably true. After lunch, Jaren had checked his phone and told you two that his girlfriend had an emergency and he had to go help. His face was beat red.

“Make it two, please,” John said to the teen, and passed him some cash.

“I can pay for my own ice cream, John,” you argue, and he nods

“Yeah, but now we can count this as our first official date,” he says, handing the freshly made cone to you.

Your eyes widen, and you don’t even know what to reply, so instead you start licking the ice cream, trying to avoid confrontation.

“I mean… that was very forward of me. I’m sorry. I just think you’re absolutely gorgeous and I want to get to know you better,” John said, face tinged pink. You sit down at one of the two tables in the shop, looking at him.

The last time one of Jaren’s friends liked you, it ended bad. Like, Jaren beating the shit out of him bad. You bit your lip, knowing that you want to get to know John more as well. You were nervous, knowing that John and Jaren had this amazing friendship, you didn’t want to be the one to ruin it or get in the way of anything.

You sigh, looking at the table. “I want to get to know you better as well, John,” you say, placing your hand on top of his, “But do you think that’s a good idea? I mean, we live in complete different countries. And if something does happen between you and I, I don’t want Jaren in the middle of it. He can be…. very overprotective,”

“Yeah, I know. The first time he ever posted a picture of you two on Instagram, I immediately got jealous. Of him. I thought you two were in a relationship. When I asked him about it, he basically laughed in my face. Then gave me the rundown about how if I were to show you any interest, and if I were to hurt you, he’d kill me,” he chuckled “I wish I was joking but the tone he had made me realize he was serious. That was three years ago, (Y/N). I’ve been begging him for your number since. He never would give it to me, deciding that if I wanted it, I’d have to get it from you myself. That’s when I booked the first flight here,” he explained, face still pink.

“But I was visiting my parents in Washington,” You mumbled, smiling softly. He nodded.

“We were probably in the airport at the same damn time, and we had no idea. After that trip, I was broke. As soon as I had enough money for a flight, I had to come back. That sounds creepy now that I say it out loud,” he laughs, a bit nervous. You giggle, nodding.

“Creepy, indeed,” You say, but grab his hand, intertwining your fingers. “But hey, cheers to our first date,” you say, both of you soon becoming a blushing mess.

_________________

Three Years Later

“I’m so happy you’re here,” John said, wrapping his arms around you from behind. It took maybe 3 months after your first date for John to officially ask you to be his girlfriend. He had flown back to Washington, and you two had talked non stop. He bought a plane ticket for you, after weeks of consistent begging.

When you had shown up at his apartment, Kugo had opened the door, looking at you quizzically. Before he had a chance to ask, John had moved him out of the way, wrapping you in a hug and placing a passionate kiss to your mouth. You heard Jay and Kugo in the back, wolf-whistling and clapping.

The first year flew by in a blur. At least once a month, one of you were on a plane flying to see the other. It totally fucked up your sleeping schedule, and you had to quit your job because you weren’t able to continue to keep taking time off. Jaren helped you start a YouTube channel, letting you borrow his gaming setup until you could afford your own.

Year two, John had asked you to come visit him for longer. He just moved into an apartment by himself, and would get lonely most of the time. You’d stay for a month at least, two tops. It was getting harder for you to afford rent in Canada, while continuing to buy plane tickets to and from your apartment. Jaren’s girlfriend, Chloe, had eventually moved in. You loved her, and were happy for them, but every time you were home, you felt an empty hole in your heart as you heard them giggling about something or other. It wasn’t fair, your person was all the way in another country, on the other side of it nonetheless.

You had ended up venting to John about it, and two days later he showed up at your door, on one knee, asking you to marry him.

Of course you said yes, how could you not? You finally had a ring on your ring finger, and that was the only one John had kept void of any jewelry. It was like you two were puzzle pieces, fitting together. At the end of his trip, he brought up the thought of you moving in with him.

It scared you. Of course you thought about moving in with him. But for some reason, it seemed so soon. Even after the continuous months you’ve spent with each other.

But you agreed anyways, and as soon as he left you began packing. Jaren was in on John’s idea of you two living together, so it didn’t surprise him when you had asked to talk to him about it. You were nervous, afraid that your best friend would be mad you were leaving. He was ecstatic. He knew that as soon as you two had laid eyes on each other, the ship had sailed.

The moving process took a good couple months. Getting your Visa, switching your address, and mailing the items to John’s house was a lot. But once you had settled in, and made sure everything was arranged just how you liked it (especially in your office), you were content.

That first night, John and you had laid on the couch, lounging in sweats while you cuddled close. He was playing with the ring on your finger, kissing your temple every few minutes.

“I am the luckiest guy in the world, (Y/N),” John said, breaking the silence. You smiled, kissing his cheek softly. “I can’t wait to marry you, for you to be mine forever. To have little kiddos running around, God I hope they have your nose.”

You got teary, and pulled his face to yours, kissing him full of passion and love. That didn’t stop, it followed you two into your shared bedroom, where the love turned to lust.

Both sweaty, cuddled up next to each other, you kissed his shoulder softly.

“I’m all yours, John. I always was, and always will be.”

[vivala-plutofuckyou]

Things no one tells you about being pregnant

-Keep track of your sexual encounters!! Whether you’re trying for a baby or not it’s a good idea to mark on your period calendar whenever you have sex. I downloaded the app P Tracker and it has a handy switch that you just swipe and you can put in the details, like if you used a condom. Keeping track of this will help your doctor more accurately narrow down your due date otherwise they just go off of when your last period ended and that could be way off.

-You will be sore to various degrees throughout the whole pregnancy! And this is totally normal! You’re body is physically changing and rearranging to make room for baby. Your pelvic bone moves, your ab muscles stretch, and your organs get pushed around during your baby’s growth. Don’t worry, you’re allowed to take Tylenol.

-You have to pee in a cup at every appointment. Make sure you stay hydrated and that you eat healthy. And even if it’s difficult at first, you’re gonna become a pro at peeing into a cup.

-There WILL NOT be an ultrasound at every appointment! Ultrasounds are used just to make sure baby is growing and developing properly and on time. Unless you really want to pay for an ultrasound, it’s not necessary at every appointment and it’s best to listen to your doctor on when you actually need to get them. Cherish them when they come around and if you can help it, don’t skip on the 3D ultrasound. It’s amazing!

-You get your blood drawn A LOT. Especially at around the 28-30 week mark. They’ll do this thing called a Glucose Test to see if you have any blood sugar problems. You’re not allowed to eat or drink after midnight the night before, not even chew gum. Then, they make you drink this kinda gross sugary drink. It comes in different flavors but I don’t recommend getting the colored drinks if you get sick easily. I had the lemon-lime flavor and it basically just tasted like thick, flat sprite. After that you have to wait an hour and they draw your blood. If for some reason you fail this test (like I did), then you have to go in again and this time they draw your blood 4 times. I recommend having a high protein diet and a lot of water the day before and bring snacks and orange juice for after. You’ll thank me!

-Your nipples change color. Yeah, you read that right. Not only do your boobs get bigger but nipples get darker and more sensitive. This is because your body is trying to make it easier for a baby’s developing eyes to see it’s food source. No, there’s no way to stop or prevent this. You just kinda gotta deal. Sorry.

-Morning Sickness is different for everyone. Personally, I only had a lot of “Nauseas cuz I didn’t eat/Nauseas cuz I did eat” for the first trimester or so but never got physically sick. My cousin, though, puked almost the entirety of her pregnancy. It was so bad she now has permanent dental issues and ended up losing a whole lot of weight after giving birth. Make sure you talk to your doctor about any concerns you have about your morning sickness.

-It’s okay to dye your hair! A lot of people think the chemicals are bad for you and baby but there’s been quite a bit of research saying there’s no harm done if you wanna rock a bright pink or just touch up your roots. My only advice here is make sure you’re in a well ventilated area. Those smells can really get to you!

-You’re allowed to eat seafood and steak! For a long time doctors would tell you this is a big No-No but there are some seafoods you’re allowed to enjoy! Crab, salmon, shrimp, and anything with really low mercury levels is perfectly safe in controlled amounts as long as it’s properly cooked. Steer clear of tuna though! It has very high levels of mercury and that’s bad for baby! As for steak, you can eat as much as you want so long as cooked medium or longer! Basically, all of the meat has to reach that temperature that kills bacteria that could harm baby.

-You don’t need to “eat for two”. Many people think you need to eat excessively once you become pregnant but that not true and often contributes to excessive weight gain during and after your pregnancy and can cause childhood obesity in your baby. You should eat your regular meals and then whenever you feel hungry. Don’t force yourself to eat more than you can just because you think it will go straight to the baby. That’s not how it works.

-Listen to your cravings! Often times when you crave a specific kind of food, it’s for a reason. You’re body is trying to tell you you’re missing something from your diet. Crave sweets or sugar? Drink a bottle of water and see how you feel, you might be dehydrated. Just want to eat a shit ton of ice? You could be low on iron, eat spinach and other iron-rich foods and bring it up to your doctor. There’s always a reason. And sometimes that reason is you just really want ice cream.

-Everyone’s pregnancy will be different from yours but that won’t stop them from thinking they know what you’re going through. People are constantly going to come to you with unsolicited advice, old wives tales, and stories of their personal experience. It’s going to get annoying and bothersome. Just try to keep a level head when you ask them to fuck off.

-Hemorrhoids are unavoidable. I’m sorry. Invest in prescription wipes and/or ointment.

-Nesting is a thing. You’re going to clean and reorganize the house so many times.

-It’s okay to google your questions! Not everyone has the advantage of a patient doctor willing to answer every single question and concern you have and some of you may even see multiple doctors throughout your pregnancy all of which may give you different answers. Google can become your friend here. There are so many forums and blogs and other online sources when it comes to pregnancy questions. You’ll be able to sleep easier, I promise.

-Buy thin underwear pads. Vaginal discharge can get more frequent as well as change color/consistency/smell and you don’t want to ruin your underwear.

-Doctors don’t always know best. This one is probably the most important. If you feel like your Doctor is bullshitting you, bullying you into decision-making, or just not listening to you, DO NOT assume “they’re the doctor, they know best”. You are 100% in control of your body and what you want your pregnancy experience to be. My friend’s nurses and doctors kept her epidural so high that she literally slept through her contractions and her dilation stalled to the point they had no choice but to do a C-section and it could’ve been avoided except her whole family assured her “the doctor knew best” so she didn’t express her concerns until it was too late. When my mom gave birth to my brother, the doctor let her have 2 seizures on the table after her C-section because he thought he “knew best” about her existing medications and her anesthesia and assumed that because she wasn’t a red head she lied about carrying the R1N1 gene which could’ve killed her. If you’re uncomfortable with your doctor, speak up.

Basically, this is just the stuff I can immediately think of. If you have your own pregnancy stories or tips or whatnot you want to add, please feel free, I’d love to read them. And if you have any questions, my ask box is always open and I’ll do my best to answer them.

[inoalove-blog]

My Return

}{Post4:}{ So, I’ve been gone for some time now. I’ve fallen into a deep dark hole to where I didn’t feel like doing anything. Depression had taken me and I was drowning in self pity and fatigue but now I’m back and I am ready for what ever is thrown at me. It didn’t take much to get me to return to life. I realized that I was distant to those that cared about me. I went to my son’s field trip and it had me do a lot of thinking. I lost a lot of friends during my transformation even a family member but it hadn't broke me. I am like a phoenix, I have risen from my ashes of self doubt and I am free. I already feel like a different person. I feel more independent, I don’t care what others think of me. I’m not perfect, and I never will be. But I am hella strong, and nothing and no one will destroy me. The world may crumble around me but I will never break. I’ve recently been screwed over by my own sister, it had shown me that you cant even trust the one person that you thought wouldn't ever abandon you. Now I’ve had family abandon me, lie, steal, hurt and whatnot, but my sister was the one person I thought I could always count on. But she’s too focused on drinking partying and doing drugs with her friends to even care who she’s hurting around her. I disclaimed her as a sister, but unfortunately you cannot chose who is blood related but you can chose who you claim as family. I have real family, most of them are not blood related, but they are real, and true and they always have my back as I always have theirs. They accept me for my flaws, habits, and past mistakes. They’ve never abandoned me. In life, you’re like a tree. You will have the leaves, they come and go as they please, now you already know that they aren’t there to stay, you have some laughs, shed some tears, but you are already aware that they aren’t going to last forever so it doesn't hurt when they leave, you say your goodbyes and move on easily. But then there are the branches, those are the ones you gotta beware of, because they may seem like they are strong and will always be there and have your back but they will break on you, even when you least expect it and it will hurt, it will be painful because you’ve never imagine them just leaving you like that. Now, there are the Roots, there are only a few, not much, not many and they may not always be seen but they are there and they are there to help you grow, and build you up, they are there to see you rise strong tall and proud. You can always count on them. You don’t want to EVER mistaken a branch for a root or a root for a branch... In life you will need to find it within you to pick yourself up, you can’t always depend on others because the ppl they may have helped you stand up will be the same person to knock you back onto the ground. Stay strong, and never give up even if you are at the edge of your breaking point and always remember, no one is worth the pain. Stand tall and strong and proud. Believe in yourself even when you don’t think anyone else does. Your judgement is the only judgement that matters. ♥