#what if we kissed and we were in a photo friendly portal world in the underground cisterns of copenhagen
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TELL ME IM ALIVE
#pers#i have like v substantively embarrassed myself in front of a v blonde and v danish girl 🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦 when will it end#by it i mean my mortal coil#also no one can tell im usamerican here ????? even tho i am ????? stupid ???? and have an american accent i thought ??#idk maybe theres just not a lot of american tourists here and more like swiss tourists with vaguely american sounding accents idfk#anyway....this art exhibit was tight#what if we kissed and we were in a photo friendly portal world in the underground cisterns of copenhagen#also yes the caption is an all time low reference bc idk. despite everything it's still me.#gotta stay true to my roots and whatnot
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So, @sarnakhwritesthings said the Shotgun Confiscation bit sounded neat.
Context: Lasky, Sarah and a handful of other personnel and Spartans have been marooned on what was originally Skopje by ‘Cortana’ (or something posing as her) and have been going on approximately a year of guerilla warfare against Promethean forces in an attempt to either get to a UNSC friendly planet using a Forerunner portal system, or at least to a place they can make contact and get picked up. John and Blue Team finally find them after eavesdropping on comm chatter. Yes there is a hint of Johnsky because I have a brand to maintain.
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The instant he saw a UNSC shotgun barrel, John moved to disarm instead of kill. He swatted the weapon aside with his right hand, then grabbed the barrel and slide with his left and yanked it toward him. The ODST followed his shotgun with a yelp, and as John turned he lifted with his left hand and shoved the man into the dirt by slamming his open palm into his back.
John turned to assess the condition and approximate number of the ODST’s companions as the Helljumper coughed, then yelled at him in a familiar voice.
“I LOVE YOU TOO, ASS!” John’s head snapped back toward the man picking himself up, the visor now depolarized to reveal the soldier’s identity.
Tom…?!
“Apologies, sir,” Was all John could muster. Thomas looked up at him with that comfortingly familiar annoyed look, before his face disappeared behind blue glass again.
“Can I have my gun back?” His voice sounded exasperated, rough and emotional for a split second before he recovered, and John returned the shotgun.
[Events Occur, John and Blue team follow Tom and Sarah back to their makeshift camp they’ve been living out of for the past few days]
John watched as Tom wiped himself down for the first time in weeks. He had stripped from the waist up, and it was obvious that his time on the former colony world hadn’t been easy.
Not that John would have expected it to be.
The charcoal camo BDUs hung loosely from Tom's hips, and the muscles of his abdomen, chest and arms were now well-defined. But he didn't look fitter, or even healthy for that matter. He looked diminished somehow, smaller. His face was thinner, and at first John hadn't been able to tell if his eyes were slightly sunken or if the darkness was from lack of rest. He now suspected it was a bit of both.
John wondered vaguely if Tom had seen him as similarly haggard when he'd first removed his helmet in the captain's company, and if that had contributed to him insisting that John and Blue Team were well fed, not just fed enough. The longer, wavy hair pulled back into a crude bun at the back of Tom's head looked a little silly, but it did the job of keeping the longer hair out of his face.
A deep sigh from Tom drew John back to the present. He was wringing out a cloth into the stream, then tossed it flat on a nearby boulder to dry. He pulled the black ODST undershirt back on, which hung loosely instead of hugging his torso like it normally would have under the combat gear, then gingerly picked his way across the rocky shore, swearing a few times, and sat next to John's spot on the fallen log.
"Been a long time since we came across a big enough stream to clean up even a little...feels nice to be slightly less gross."
"Mmh." John responded, and Tom chuckled softly.
John had never seen Tom with any facial hair, even in the numerous photos in his personnel file or any of the family photos he'd shared, and it almost made him itch just watching Tom smile.
John felt a sudden, overwhelming feeling he wasn’t sure how to describe. His love for Tom (It still felt strange to acknowledge their relationship that way) hadn’t faded any, but he felt disappointed that Tom looked so different and was momentarily embarrassed to admit, even to himself, that he’d been looking forward to hugging Tom around his soft middle, and kissing him without having to worry about...hair.
"Still not much for conversation, huh? It's fine, I don't particularly want to talk about the unique hell the last seven months have been. We've survived, but..." He trailed off as he scratched his jaw, paused and scratched his chin before making an irritated growl as he furiously scratched his cheeks with both hands.
"I cannot WAIT till I can get back to civilization and a proper shave, I hope you weren't wanting me to keep this."
"No, sir." John said, maybe a little too quickly. Anxiety clenched at his gut for a moment, but there was no indication from Tom that he'd read into the reply.
"Sarah offered to hack it off once, but combat knives aren't designed for faces and quite frankly, she had no idea what she was doing." Tom's voice had dropped to a near-whisper...but not low enough.
"SHUT UP, POM-POM HEAD!!" Palmer yelled from somewhere in the camp.
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It’s December so you know I have to make a little Halloween fanfic with the Sloth Family :P
“Hold still, Machi.” Mahiru told her softly as she adjusted the straw hat on her daughter’s head. It was Halloween. While Machi was too young to go trick-or-treating, Mahiru wanted dress up and take a family picture. She also planned to watch child friendly Halloween movies after they take the picture. It was important to stimulate Machi and give her happy memories.
The family was dressed up as characters from The Wizard of Oz. Mahiru was dressed as Dorothy while Kuro was the lion. She made an adorable scarecrow costume that would fit her toddler daughter. Machi also had a toy robot who would be the tin man in their family picture. They were waiting for Kuro to put on his costume.
Once again, Machi fiddled with her straw hat and it fell off her head. She picked up the hat and pressed her face into the hole. Mahiru laughed softly as she watched her daughter babble into the hat. She had to wonder if Machi saw a unique world in the hat as if she was staring into a magical portal. She loved how curious her daughter was.
“You’re dressed as a scarecrow but I think you’re very bright, Machi.” She gave her a motherly kiss along with the compliment. A laugh bubbled from Machi who dropped the hat to play with her mother. She was only too happy to play along with her. She wound the toy robot and let it go. It walked slowly across the floor and Machi crawled after it.
The toy stopped when Kuro accidentally stepped into its path. He looked down when he felt something else bump into his leg. Machi was sitting in front of her and rubbing her head. He could easily guess what happened and he knelt down. He doubted she was hurt but he carefully ran his thumb over her forehead to ease the pain. “Pain, pain fly away. Is that better, Machi?”
“Roar?” She tilted her head slightly and stared at him as if he was a stranger. After a moment, Machi turned around and crawled right back to her mother. Mahiru picked her up and she realized that she was more curious about Kuro’s costume rather than scared. She stroked Machi’s hair as she carried her to him again. With her free hand, she reached up and lightly pushed his lion hood off his head.
“This is Papa, Machi. He’s only wearing a costume to look like a lion.” She explained to her.
“Papa roar!” Machi beamed once she saw him without the brown hood and recognized him. She stretched out her arms and patted the whiskers he drew onto his cheeks. He playfully made animal noises and she mimicked him. “Machi roar?”
“You want to be a lion like Papa? It’s a little late to change your costume but we can make you a lion scarecrow. Just wait right there!” Mahiru handed Machi to him before she went to her purse. She took out her eyeliner and drew whiskers on her cheeks. Then, she held a mirror in front of Machi. She patted her own cheeks with a large smile.
“You look like an adorable kitty.” Mahiru kissed her cheek. “I’ll get the camera ready for the photo. Then we can watch the movie.”
I like theme costumes and think they’re fun.
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Into the Portal Hole
As the others back home work on Gaster's machine, Sai finds that her friends of the other dimension are more than willing to lend a helping hand.
Sai couldn’t believe it. She honestly couldn’t. She knew from Blue’s previous conversations that Stretch had once worked with the other scientists under his father, W. D Gaster, and her Edge had said something similar about his brother too.
But she was not expecting to have a small, ultra-intelligent taskforce in their kitchen. Gaster was re-drawing his blueprints from memory, his glasses taped to his skull. Stretch, Bee, and Red were hanging over him, all making comments or calculations about what could have possibly gone wrong in their test. “Do you think it was an external factor? One that you hadn’t calculated in?” Red asked, peering at the sketch. When he wasn’t crackling awful jokes, or moping around either of his mates, Sai could see exactly what Edge meant. Red was smart, almost as smart as Gaster.
“it would have to be, otherwise the failsafe would have kicked in and would have spawned back in their own universe…” Stretch muttered, squinting as he followed a gear line in the engine.
“try adding a quadrant of five here…” Bee said, pointing at something on the paper.
It honestly just made Sai’s head spin though she was grateful that progress was being made to get everyone home. If slowly. Bucky giggled. “You have the same facial expression that I do when the twins start talking science.” She said, smiling at her.
Sai sighed. “They are all just too smart for their own good… I hope the twins take after their daddy’s mind at least. If they take after me, they’ll be hooped. Gaster will have them enrolled in all sorts of math and science…” the twins were nestled in her lap, leaning against her as they fed off her magic.
“Hey now. If they take after you, they will be just as lucky.” Lines said, bumping her head against Sai’s hand. “After all, it takes a special person to keep monsters in line, and you have more than the rest of us.”
Nikki snorted and shook her head. “Certain punishment just gets Red all excited. You’ll need to show me how you do it with the rest of your crew.” Beside her, Artemis nodded.
Sai had to smile. Everyone was just so welcoming and friendly. Out of the rest of the AUs, she supposed that they were lucky to make it into one where she had the head start on friends… “Do you happen to have some water?” Sai asked Bucky. Feeding the twins always made her thirsty.
“Sure. I have bottled water in the fridge, bottom shelf, right-hand side.” She gently took Corbel from Sai, cradling him close. “Mind grabbing me one too, please?”
Nikki took Ignatius and carefully held him. “Me three,” she said, her eyes not leaving the babies.
Excusing herself for a moment, Sai walked by the scientist group where a stunned Grillby had been forced to listen to the numbers and scientific formulas. The poor man looked half asleep. Maybe she’ll need to save him and let him escape for a nap for a bit. He hadn’t been sleeping well at the mansion either, Sai remembered, pulling open the door to the fridge and scouring the shelves. Christ, there was a lot of honey here. She supposed that with double Stretches, the honey devouring was also increased. Por Bucky and Blue really had their hands full with these Papyruses.
Chuckling, Sai closed the door, eyeing the pictures that scattered it. There was a world here too, different perhaps, but just as developed as her own. There was a baby Blue sleeping next to his elder twin brothers, then the three of them standing beside what looked to be the Gaster of this world. The twins, now older and more tired looking, sitting at Muffet’s café – the shot had to be taken by Blue. Then there was Bucky sitting between the twins, a dark blush on her cheeks as the twins kissed her. And then a sonogram of four tiny souls curled close together….
Wait… WHAT?
Suddenly that explained Stretch’s and Bee’s reluctance at letting her out of her sight or move much.
“YOU’RE PREGNANT?” Sai cried out, interrupting of the all conversations that were being held in the dining room. Everyone jumped, spinning around to look at her. “WITH QUADRUPLETS?”
The Papyrus twins looked smug and proud of themselves, grinning as they chewed on their lollipops. Bucky smiled warmly at Sai. “Yes…. The twins went into heat about a month ago. We just found out the good news and told everyone about one… two weeks ago?” Bucky asked, looking around at the small group of friends, her arms wrapping around her middle. Now that Sai was looking at her closely, there was the smallest bump to her.
Sai’s mouth was agape, and she trembled slightly. Dropping the water on the table, she wrapped her friend in a huge hug. “Oh, I cannot believe it!” she exclaimed. She pulled back, looking at her other friend. “My goodness, you are small…. You’re gonna look like you have an exercise ball under your shirt by the end of it.”
There was a snort from Bucky. “I always imagined something of my stomach out to here,” she gestured with her hands, giggling. “Something like a half Pacman character.”
Nikki grinned, pulling out her phone. “Now we were practising,” she whispered in a stage-whisper. “We haven’t shown the twin these pictures but…”
There was an odd, high pitched squeak from a quickly reddening Bucky. “Hey! No, you promised that you guys didn’t save them!”
Sai caught a quick glimpse of a picture of Bucky with what looked to be a basketball shoved under her shirt before the phone was snatched by a bony hand. Stretch and Bee were peering at it, hearts in their eye lights. “you should send those to us,” Stretch said to Nikki. “we’ll pick up some of that salami that you like.”
“Deal,” Nikki said, grinning and taking her phone back, ignoring a sputtering Bucky.
“I SWEAR TO THE STARS IF YOU DON’T DELETE THOSE RIGHT NOW, I WILL KICK YOUR ASSES.” Bucky threatened them.
Bee and Stretch chuckled. “aww come on sweetheart. you know that you can’t do that to us 1 HP monsters… our children need us~” they purred together.
“I CAN LOOK AFTER THEM MYSELF IF NEED BE. ESPECIALLY IF YOU KEEP THOSE FREAKING PHOTOS!” Bucky threatened, the others laughing.
Lines shook her head, shaking her fur. “I keep telling you that I know a great place to hide a body. Or two. You just need to ask me.”
Grillby knelt under the table, grabbing a slowly escaping Ignatius. He came close to a laughing Sai, wrapping an arm around her, watching the chaos unfold. ‘Almost like home?’ he signed to her, his eyes twinkling.
Sai nodded. It was close to home… “So how are we getting home?” she asked, nodding to the paper.
“I believe that there is a movie that you close your eyes and clink your heels together three times.” A familiar, English voice said behind her.
Silence fell heavy on the group as the others turned around to face the newcomer. Stretch and Bee came in front of Bucky, Fell stepping in front of Lines in a similar manner. Nikki’s tail wrapped around a growling Red, a large red spike erupting from the grey fur, Pizza taking a defensive stance.
However, Sai leapt at him, hugging him tightly. “Sebastian!” she cried out, hiding her face in his crisp, white button-up. “How on earth did you find us?”
The demon butler chuckled, his eyes glimmering slightly red. “Now, how good of a butler would I be if I couldn’t rescue my mistress?” His eyes looked around at the others, his eyes resting at the familiar and unfamiliar, scanning them in his own way. “Though I am pleased to see that you were not in any danger.”
“Of course not! I had Grillby and Gaster here, and Edge has taught me more than a few things.” she fake pouted, a large smile on her face. Sebastian was here. They could go home.
Sebastian chuckled. “I do not doubt your skill m’lady. Forgive me if that is how it came out.” he smiled at her. “Now, shall I escort you and everyone home?”
“Yes!” Sai said, far too quickly. “I am so ready to get home and see everyone…” she paused, turning around to see her new friends. The others were silent. A little numb over the sudden appearance, but also that they would be losing her so soon… “I… I mean…”
Bucky smiled at her. “It’s alright. We understand. We are friends but,” here she chuckled. “I think that we would all feel the same way if it was us in your situation.”
The others nodded in agreement, still eyeing the demon butler as they slowly relaxed. “I would do anything to get back to Red and Nikki.” Pizza said, his hands reaching out to his mates. Giving them a gentle squeeze, he shot a dazzling grin at Sai. “We know what you meant.”
Sai trembled for a moment before coming up and hugging them all tightly. The little group hugged her tight, being wary of Bucky’s stomach. Sai was surprised to feel the tickle of tears in her own eyes as she stepped back. “I’m going to miss you,” she whispered.
“We’ll miss you too,” Bucky whispered back to her, smiling. “But now that you know we are here, you could always visit us.”
Sai nodded. “Yes… maybe you can come up to our universe and live there?” Sai wondered out loud.
Gaster chuckled. “We’ll update the mansion first before then.” He said to Sai, winking at her.
“Very well…” Bucky pulled her into a tight hug. “Then until we meet again.”
Hugging her back, Sai nodded. “Until next time.” she agreed. Drawing back, she quickly wiped her face, stepping back to be close to Sebastian again. Grillby and Gaster stood next to her, each of them holding one of the twins in their hands. Sai waved at the other universal copies even as the colours blended together, whirling together in a dizzying manner.
* * * * *
Sai stumbled a little bit as the floor solidified under her again. Sebastian’s teleport was a little different than Gaster’s… she gasped as there was a sudden vice around her, knocking some of the wind out of her. “SAI!” Bucky, her Bucky exclaimed, holding tightly to her. “Oh I was so worried and the machine wouldn’t turn on or work or…”
Another hug captured her other side. “I knew you would be back!” Alana exclaimed. “Oh, but I was so worried. I just…”
Sai sniffed and held her friends close to her, watching as Sebastian stepped out of the room, quietly as if he had never been there. Gaster and Grillby chuckled to themselves, holding the twins close to them. “I missed you guys too…. but I have so much to tell you guys!”
#undertail#polyamory#w.d. gaster#ut!grillby#us!papyrus#uf!papyrus#uf!sans#oc#female oc#w.d gaster/grillby/oc#twin papyrus au#underswap#established relationship
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Tokyo
Written for the Alec Lightwood appreciation event 2017. A missing scene from the show- season 2 episode 7 their trip to Tokyo. (Also on Ao3)
Note: Apologise for anything that is not accurate, I have never been to Japan, I have also never been in a sushi bar. The portal snaps closed behind them, Alec looks around a little breathless. Firstly from the portal travel and secondly from his senses going into overload at his surrounding. Magnus opens his arms and gestures around, spinning around once as he steps in front of Alec and turns to face him. “Welcome to Tokyo.”
“This is incredible,” his eyes are wide as he tries to take it all in.
“What would you like to discover first?”“Uhhh...”
“Tell you what why don’t we visit one of the animal cafés and then come up with a plan for the day whilst we are there?”
“Sounds good.”
“What animal would you prefer: owl, rabbit, cat, dog or goat?”
“Cat definitely.” Magnus’ face lights up at the choice, Alec in part choosing cats as he knows how much of a soft spot Magnus has for them.
“Temari no Ouchi it is then!” Magnus had hoped that there first stop would be to that cafés; so it was no coincidence that they had portaled to only a short walk away.As Alec walked through the streets of Tokyo he wondered if he would ever get used to being able to travel the world so freely. The sense of awe as he stepped from New York to Prague to here without having to clear a single trip with the clave first.
As he enters the café he looks around in amazement, Magnus guides him to a table then goes off to get some drinks. As Alec sits down a couple of cats come over to see him. He makes a fuss of them, “Hey there little kitty cats.” His voice is soft and childlike as he speaks to them. “You’re so cute, yes you are. And so good. Such good kitty cats.”
Magnus is grinning as he comes back over to their table with some beverages; finding Alec utterly adorable as he interacts with the cats. “Thank you,” Alec briefly takes his attention off of the cats to make eye contact with Magnus while he thanks him. As Magnus sits down one of the cats chirps and leaves Alec to greet Magnus.
After being distracted by the cats for a good twenty minutes, Alec remembers that part of the reason for coming here was to make plans for the rest of their day trip. “So what kind of thing would you like to do?”
Magnus breaks his focus on the ginger and white cat curled beside him and looks at Alec, his hand absentmindedly stroking his new friend. “The zoo could be an interesting place to go to? Or we could visit one of the many beautiful temples? Then there’s always a river tour, Todoroki valley, Meiji shrine, Tokyo tower...”
“I would really like to see the Nanzenji temple.”
“Okay how about we head there first and then pop to Ueno zoo?”
“Sounds great,” Alec beams. “Then if we have time stop somewhere for sushi before we go home?”
“Perfect! Can’t be in Japan without visiting a good sushi bar.” Alec watches Magnus fondly as he returns his focus back to that cat that has now plonked itself on his lap.
A short while later they both agree that they are ready to head to the temple. Alec is in awe the second that they arrive. “I can’t believe that we are actually here. One of the most important Zen temples in Japan.” Magnus lets him lead as Alec continues to talk. “Did you know that every single one of the original buildings were destroyed in the Muromachi period civil wars? And that emperor Kamagoma created this place initially as a retirement villa before it became a zen temple.”
Magnus was enjoying this new ‘nerd’ side of Alec, the way his face lit up with excitement as he spoke. A lot of the facts he was saying Magnus already knew, but a fair few he did not. Either way he loved having Alec as his own personal guide.
As they reach the end Alec excuses himself for a minute leaving Magnus to explore the gift shop on his own for a few moments. After a short time spent there they head off for the zoo.
Upon arrival at the zoo they start at the giant pandas and systematically wonder through the exhibits. As they come to a stop outside the elephant enclosure Alec turns their topic of conversation from just discussion the animals to something more serious. “Thank you for all this.”
Magnus smiles softly, “it’s been my pleasure.”
“I know part of the reason for the trip is to get some space from Jace; and I know I’ve said it before but thank you for having him stay. I know he’s not the easiest person to live with especially with what he’s going through right now.”
Magnus places a hand on Alec’s arm, “I’ve told you that you’ve thanked me enough,” Magnus presses a kiss to Alec’s cheek. He flushes and shuffles nervously, glancing around to check that no one was paying them any attention. “I’ve always loved elephants. They’re so big and yet graceful. They show compassion and many cultures have highlighted their strength and wisdom.” Magnus’ words manage to relax Alec almost instantly and he can’t help but to focus more on Magnus than the elephants before him. Magnus was showing yet another beautiful side of himself.
Eventually they move along; conversations light and factual as they share their knowledge of the different animals. Magnus cannot suppress a laugh as Alec tells him about Max finding out about gibbons and saying that Alec has their arms which was why they were so long. They discover that they have a mutual appreciation for the exotic herptile species.
As they make their way from the Oakapis Magnus comes to a stop and inclines his head, gesturing to the side, “petting zoo?”
“Yeah, sure,” Alec has to suppress a grin as they head through the entrance of the petting zoo. Magnus quickly looses all of Alec’s attention to the cows but he doesn’t mind in the slightest. He cannot help but to smile sappily as Alec interacts with one particularly friendly cow that has taken to licking his arm. The distraction gives Magnus a few minutes to reflect on the day. Honestly he couldn’t think of a single negative thing so far. The relationship was new, but yet they were as comfortable in each other’s company as if they’d shared decades together. They were both open and honest and not afraid to show their more vulnerable and nerdier sides.
After a short time in the gift shop they leave the zoo. Instead of having a predetermined place to eat they decide to take a stroll, allowing for them to pop into any shops that take their fancy. Just as they come out of one of the shops something catches Alec’s eye and he halts; twisting his hands nervously as Magnus looks at him with concern. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah..I was...err..I just thought that, that maybe it would be fun if we...” his eye focus flickers to a photo booth a few metres ahead. Magnus follows their direction. “If you wanted that is, I mean I know it’s not everyone’s thing and we’ve not been together that long and” Alec rambles on until Magnus puts his hand up to stop him.Alec’s gazes fixes to the floor, Magnus hooks a figure under his chin so that their eyes meet.
“I would love to.”
“Really?” The nerves drain away as Magnus takes his hand and walks them over to a vacant booth.They take a sit and Alec lets Magnus sort out the machine.
“Shall we get one nice one out of the way and then have some more fun less serious ones?”
“Sounds perfect.” Alec was still fiddling his hands nervously. Sensing this Magnus takes the lead, he wraps his arms around Alec and holds him close, the intimacy almost instantly calming Alec as they take their first photo. A few fun shots later Alec manages to find some courage, “would it be okay if I borrowed a bracelet?”
After a second of shock Magnus felt a flutter in his chest at the request, “yeah.” He slips all of them off and hands them over to Alec, his chest not calming as he watches Alec put them on. “Looks good on you,” he manages to comment. They turn their attention back to taking some more photos. At the end they each get a copy of all the photos, grinning like fools as they look over them.
“This was such a good idea, thank you Alexander,” for Alec’s sake he checks that no one is round before pressing a kiss to his lips.
By the time they find a sushi bar they are both hungry and very happy. “Counter or table seat?”
“Counter,” Alec hadn’t come to a sushi bar in Tokyo to not get the full experience. Thankfully although there are a fair few customers, the place is not too busy. Alec finds a quieter part of the counter and takes a seat. The chef greets them and Alec is relieved when Magnus replies in Japanese for him. His ability to speak Japanese was very limited; something he had been meaning to work on but never seemed to have had the chance.
After a minute or so Magnus puts his menu down and focuses on Alec, “You know what you would like to drink?”
Alec takes a moment to check the drinks on the menu, thankful that they had an English version. “Green tea.”
“My choice too, allow me.” He pours them both a cup. “Did you want to order off the menu or see if anything takes your fancy?”
“Err...” Alec rubs the back of his neck, anxiety building at all the choices.
Seeing Alec’s apprehension Magnus has an idea. “Tell you what, shall I ask the chef what’s good this season?”
Alec smiles; visibly relaxing. “Yeah that sounds good.”
Magnus politely gets the chefs attention and asks him what his recommendations for this time of year are. The chef happily converses with Magnus about the best options and gives his personal opinion on what he thinks is the best to go for. Alec listens to the exchange, or at least tries to, only picking up the odd Japanese word that he understands.
As they finish their last dish Alec decides it is his favourite of all the ones he had tried. As he takes the last bite he turns to Magnus, “mmm this one is good, what is it?”
“Neguriro, the chef said it has the best fatty tuna in it for this time of year.”
Alec pauses with the cup halfway to his mouth, “the best what?”
Magnus responds slowly, a little confused by Alec’s reaction. “Fatty tuna...”
“I don’t think that’s a very nice way to talk about the poor fish!” He finishes his drink and places the empty cup neatly with the other dishes.
Magnus chuckles softly, “ready for me to get the bill?” having already told Alec that the sushi was on him.
“Yeah,” Alec replies sulkily. He remains quiet as Magnus asks and then pays for the bill. They exit the sushi bar and head for a quiet spot to conjure a portal that will take them home.
“You okay?” Magnus enquires noticing that he is still acting quiet and sulky.
“I just don’t think it’s necessary to refer to the tuna as ‘fatty’.” Magnus opens the portal and as they step through Alec continues. "I mean, how would they feel?"
"Well, I'm glad you didn't ask in front of the sushi chef."
"Well, seriously, why do they call it fatty tuna? I mean that’s a little degrading."
"Hmm, well..." Magnus adds whilst getting elephant ornament out. "I don't think obese tuna sounds any better."
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Episode 106 - Filings
Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near? Tell me more about your special bird powers. Welcome to Night Vale.
It’s been a long couple of weeks, as the city-wide emergency sirens that signal illegal public acknowledgement of angels have been blaring almost nonstop. But in spite of these archaic laws, I’ve been shouting “You’re an angel!” at beings who look like angels and then making my most friendly finger-pointing gesture.
The beings who call themselves angels because… that’s what they are, have begun filing the paperwork for official existence. The angels are still at the Hall of Public Records downtown waiting in line. They have made it to the front of line three different times, but each time, they were told they were missing a key form of ID or pre-application paperwork, or that the cameras could not record their image. They weren’t told his using words, the Records Hall clerk just stabbed their paperwork repeatedly with scissors and then got a massive nosebleed, which is how they know their application was declined.
Other citizens waiting have grown restless. As they do not acknowledge the existence of angels, the next person in line keeps walking up to a seemingly empty window, only to be brushed away by a clerk, or an angel. These citizens have begun shouting and crumbling and curling into little balls and sobbing, as large glowing cracks appear in the ceiling.
It’s been several days of waiting in line for the angels. We’ll check back in on them soon.
Oh, I have a new intern, listeners. He’s a fine-looking young man with a beautiful voice, I think he’ll have a great future in radio. I’ve been trying to ask him his name or who hired him. I certainly don’t remember beginning the search for a new intern, he just appeared this morning and started working without a single word. Which is the most professional behavior for anyone beginning a new job. Well, he seems hard at work, even if every time I address him he doesn’t notice me. It’s great having a competent replacement for Kareem, even if I have no idea how this new intern got here and who he is. As long as the filing is getting done.
Alondra Ortiz, daughter of Josefina Ortiz who passed away last month, has carried on her fight against the angels. The angels are claiming ownership of Old Woman Josie’s estate, since they lives with her and helped her build the many artistic monuments and cultural foundations around town. Alondra said she doesn’t care if angels are acknowledged or not. If they want to be recognized, fine, but Alondra and her lawyer, Emilio Tavarez have filed motions to maintain ownership of Alondra’s mother’s home, belongings, money, and memories. Just because a bunch of imaginary tall people with wings helped Josie change the lightbulbs from time to time, Tavarez said, that’s no reason they are considered next of kin. Tavarez told judge Siobhan Azdaq: “If they don’t exist, we must get kissed.” Judge Azdaq replied: “Emilio, it’s been four years. I’m remarried. We’re done, OK?”
The angels have hired five-headed dragon Miriam Adelman as their counsel, who issued a literally scathing response. Alondra is now suing Adelman and her team for medical bills resulting from second degree burns. Alondra has already put Josie’s home up for sale. She is willing to offer rebates for pre-existing damage, such as a series of large glowing slits in the walls that lead to rooms that aren’t… possible, according to the official floor plan, nor the laws of physics. These rooms range from a 17th century ball room to a crow’s nest on a modern nazy destroyer to the space shuttle. Plus, anachronistic people keep wandering in and out of these portals. She added, “On second thought, since the house has more usable square footage than originally anticipated, and because there appear to be current renters”, she’s raising the sale price.
So I just sent my new intern to go pick up some lunch. Or at least I said, “Excuse me young man whose name I don’t know yet who I only think works here, can you go grab me a cobb salad with extra whipped cream and pencil shavings from the Missing Frog Salad Bar? He didn’t say yes, nor did he ever seem to see or hear me, but he did look really frightened and ran from the room crying, which was such a polite and respectful gesture to his superior. What a nice young man. Dresses kind of weird though, so early 80’s, with his double Windsor striped tie, polyester coat and aviator goggles, just like we all wore back in the day. I supposed most things eventually come back in fashion. Well, I can only assume he heard my lunch order. I’m starving.
Faceless Old Woman: You’re starving? Try not having a mouth.
Cecil: Oh my god, you scared me. [chuckles] Listeners, we have an unplanned visit from the Faceless Old Woman who secretly lives in your home. Or I guess in this case, your radio studio while you’re still on the air.
FOW: Cecil, we need to talk about the Distant Prince.
Cecil: Few dare to speak at him, so as not to draw his attention. What do you know?
FOW: His harbingers are here. They are prepared to announce his arrival with their long, toothy beaks. They’re stomach-eyes see all. They’ve been rehearsing this announcement in their room at the Hampton Inn on Route 800. They’ve been writing and rewriting their grand pronouncement and teaching it to the court shriekers to shriek out to all of Night Vale.
Cecil: What does that mean?
FOW: What, “shriek”? It’s like a painful yell. Like this: [disturbing scream] Meanwhile, the mangled servants are gathering the ears of important Night Vale politicians.
Cecil: Gross.
FOW: Right? And they will sew the ears onto the walls of the Hampton Inn continental breakfast bar and use them as portals into many dimensions at once. Their plan is to destroy time itself and collapse Night Vale into a dead singularity.
Cecil: Why do they want to do this?
FOW: It was suggested to him by a nice young woman from out of town.
Cecil: What young woman?
FOW: She.. she.. [music distorts, evil voice] The woman from Italy brings fun and jest, consuming all souls until none are left. Distant Prince and she plan the terrible plot: destroying all that is until all is not. I met her in dreams and found a dear friend, a woman a mortal mind can’t comprehend. No guard controls her, no physics can hold her, she’ll set the world on fire but leave you all colder. [music distorts back to normal] Yeah, she and I are best friends now. She’s a lot of fun, really good poet. I gotta go. Steve Carlsberg is back home, and I wanna stand behind him in the mirror when he bends down to wash his face. His shrieks are the funniest.
Cecil: Oh aha hahaha, dumb old Steve! Be nice, OK?
We are getting reports that a dense fog is now pouring from a giant glowing slash in the sky above the Rec Center. Some pteranodons have flown out of it, as well as a commercial airliner. And those who entered the fog reported hearing shouts, blood-curdling streams, and even the echo of drums. But there’s also the Battle of the Bands sound check happening right now at the Rec Center, so it’s probably just that. Either way, keep a close eye out for these apparent tears in the fabric of our reality. Also, go check out the Battle of the Bands. I think Diane Crayton’s son Josh and his boyfriend Grant are organizing that event.
And now a word from our sponsors. Today’s show is brought to by a grey pigeon, whispering to you from your neighbor’s backyard. The pigeon – his name is Alfonso – is telling you that you are the one true God. [serene voice] And that he wants you to bring it a body part. A human body part. Doesn’t matter which part. Just do it. [ominously] Soon. [serenely] “Time’s almost gone. The Bible was wrong,” the pigeon added, suddenly from your right shoulder. “There never was a beginning.” This has been a word from our sponsors.
Reports continue from the last few weeks of people all over Night Vale experiencing false realities. The most believable visions are those of tall winged beings roaming the streets and asking to borrow 10 bucks. City Council is issuing daily press releases, claiming the existence of angels is impossible and illegal. City Council is threatening to no longer speak to anyone who acknowledges the so-called angels. “You are uninvited to our birthday party,” today’s press release reads. “Too bad, there will be karaoke and minigolf. Your loss, angel acknowledger!”
A series of fissures in reality have begun to open up, revealing truths that should never have existed. Like the 12th century Scottish castle sitting atop the stables over on Galloway. Frances Donaldson at the Antiques Mall reports suddenly knowing how to play the piano, when before she only knew how to play keyboard. Larry Leroy out on the edge of town came home to find his wife, Chrysette, mowing the lawn. But he was never married. He last saw Chrysette in high school, when they were both in the lurching band together. And fired chief Ramona Encarnacion said she found a rock in the shape of Harry Styles’ liver. “I don’t know how Harry is getting by without his liver,” Incarnassian said. “Or given how much mud was on this thing, how he was ever getting by with it.”
Night Vale, beware the untruths which attempt to dismantle our town. Stay vigilent, read your journals, look at your photographs. Do your best to remember what is real.
Oh man, speaking of real, I’m real hungry. I wish my intern would get back soon with my salad. It’s been forever since he… Oh, wait. He left his wallet behind. Well, strike one, new intern. How are you supposed to buy lunch if you don’t take any money? Hope he has some cash in his pockets.
I’ll be so annoyed if lunch is late. Ah, this is a pretty nice wallet. Trifold, ooh photo pages, human leather, money clip. I used to have one just like this. maybe let’s find out more about you, kiddo. Let’s see. Bowling league card. Ooh, I love bowling. Young reporter’s league membership. Wow, it’s after my own heart. Photos of him with a young man he could probably be related to and, is that my… who are you? Where’s your driver’s license? Oh God. This can’t.. this can’t be. This here... just…
Uh, OK, here’s the weather while I sort this out.
[“All or Nothing” by the Dream Masons]
My new intern never made it back. He never left, or maybe, was never hear at all. Or maybe still is here after all these years.
After finding his… my… ID in his wallet, I ran out after him. But before I even got out of the building, I found him in the restroom. The door was slightly cracked and the light was on. I heard a voice, a familiar young voice. “Leonard said if I work hard, maybe I’ll be a radio presenter myself some day,” said the voice. I was so frightened but still I looked into the washroom, and he was standing in front of a mirror looking right at himself. I never look into those things, or at least I haven’t in a long time.
“I think the radio station is fun,” he said. “I think the radio station is hidden. I think the radio station is like a dark planet lit by no sun. I think, therefore I soon won’t be,” he said. I wanted to cry out to warn him. My mother told me to stay away from mirrors, and I knew he was in danger. I opened my mouth and tried to step in the room, but I could not speak, could not move forward.
“I’m looking in the mirror,” he said. “The mirror is not covered,” he said. “Stop! Don’t look into the mirror!” I tried to say, but nothing came out of my mind, only spit and inaudible wheeze. Tears stung my eyes. I waved frantically, trying to catch his attention.
“The flickering movement is just behind me,” he said, and then he looked right at me in the mirror. His eyes grew wide and wet. He said, “I…” He said again, “I…” and then he choked. Then he screamed, then I screamed, only again no sound came out. He fell to the floor, and for a moment, I remembered. I remembered blue lights and blood in my throat, and the dark planet lit by no sun and then I forgot it. Or at least what it looked like or, only that it was, or never was or it still is.
His wallet was no longer in my studio, his… my… driver’s license was no longer in my hand, my familiar teenage intern was no longer lying on the ground. The mirror he was looking into is now shattered into thousands of intersecting cracks like parched desert dirt.
I approached the mirror, hoping to see a face I knew: a young man’s face I just barely remember. But I only saw a multiplicity of me, a man divided, unrecognizably under razor-sharp grounds, and behind me a glowing slash in the bathroom wall. When I turned, the whole in reality was gone. Only plain gray subway tiles.
I don’t know what is real. Myself as a younger intern, the Woman from Italy, these holes in reality. Harry Stiles’ liver. Harry Stiles. Are any of these things real?
One thing I know is real were the angels. After hours of waiting in line, their paperwork has been officially filed, with the Hall of Public Records, and a hearing date scheduled sometime between the last Friday of this month, and the last Friday of 2023.
Night Vale. Reality is failing us. And strange forces are gathering. The Distant Prince, the Woman from Italy. The dragons. Huntokar.
I don’t know what we can do to save a failing reality, I only know, uh… We can make real that which we acknowledge and accept. Angels are real, Night Vale. The actuality of people we rarely see or interact with may seem unimportant as fissures in our world, threatening to collapse anything we know but – if you see an angel, tell them you see them. Tell them they are real. Point at them and shout: “You’re. An. Angel!” we can only make real what we accept as real,. Tell them, OK?
Good night, Night Vale, Good night.
Today’s proverb: Good things come to those who wait. Good things come slithering down the unctuous brown stone walls to those who wait alone in the dark pit.
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Tiger-Disha's PDA at 'Malang' screening, Vicky reacts to dating rumours, Ranbir-Alia's cute moments, Sara wants not so good looking BF, Ileana reveals she is in LOVE - Times of India
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Tiger-Disha's PDA at 'Malang' screening, Vicky reacts to dating rumours, Ranbir-Alia's cute moments, Sara wants not so good looking BF, Ileana reveals she is in LOVE - Times of India
Tiger Shroff and Disha Patani have been the talk of the town for their rumoured relationship. The duo recently attended the screening of Disha’s film ‘Malang’. And now, a video of them posing for the cameras at the screening have surfaced over the internet. Disha looked pretty in a white ensemble while Tiger was in a brown shirt and pants.
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@tigerjackieshroff and @dishapatani spotted at the 'Malang' screening together #tigershroff #dishapatani #malang #bollywood #bollywoodactor #bollywoodactress #bollywoodceleb #bollywoodcelebrity #bollywoodnews #bollywoodmovie #newbollywoodmovie #etimes #entertainmenttimes
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@tigerjackieshroff and @dishapatani spotted at the 'Malang' screening together #tigershroff #dishapatani #malang #bollywood #bollywoodactor #bollywoodactress #bollywoodceleb #bollywoodcelebrity #bollywoodnews #bollywoodmovie #newbollywoodmovie #etimes #entertainmenttimes
A post shared by ETimes (@etimes) on Feb 6, 2020 at 10:15pm PST
Rumours of Vicky Kaushal dating Katrina Kaif have been doing rounds the internet for a long time now. Paparazzi have snapped them together on several outings which in turn added fuel to the fire of dating rumours. Now, recently, the actor opened up about the same to a news portal. He said that he doesn’t feel there is any scope of clarification. The ‘Uri’ actor concluded that there is no story at all. As for love, Vicky described it as the ‘best feeling’.
Ranbir Kapoor and Alia Bhatt recently attended the wedding ceremony of Armaan Jain and Anissa Malhotra. Pictures and videos from the same are all over the internet. And now, we got some more photos from the wedding of RK and Alia for you. The couple absolutely adorable together. Also, another report stated that the couple is planning for December wedding!
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Here’s another lovely picture of #RanbirKapoor and #AliaBhatt from #ArmaanJain and #AnissaMalhotra’s wedding reception.
A post shared by Filmfare (@filmfare) on Feb 6, 2020 at 8:49pm PST
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Here’s another lovely picture of #RanbirKapoor and #AliaBhatt from #ArmaanJain and #AnissaMalhotra’s wedding reception.
A post shared by Filmfare (@filmfare) on Feb 6, 2020 at 8:49pm PST
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Just how good they look together? Here’s an unseen picture of #RanbirKapoor and #AliaBhatt from #ArmaanJain and #AnissaMalhotra’s wedding reception.
A post shared by Filmfare (@filmfare) on Feb 5, 2020 at 9:34pm PST
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Just how good they look together? Here’s an unseen picture of #RanbirKapoor and #AliaBhatt from #ArmaanJain and #AnissaMalhotra’s wedding reception.
A post shared by Filmfare (@filmfare) on Feb 5, 2020 at 9:34pm PST
Sara Ali Khan and Kartik Aaryan were rumoured to be dating, however recently, the duo decided to part ways. Now, they share a friendly bond with each other. Now, Sara appeared on a talk show hosted by Kareena Kapoor Khan where she opened up about what kind of person she is looking for! Sara stated that the first thing she notices in a person is his sense of humour and if he is fun to go out with. She added that he doesn’t have to be bad-looking, but he doesn’t have to be so good-looking that that’s all they talk about.
Link-up rumours of Athiya Shetty and cricketer K L Rahul are rocking the headlines. Pictures of them hanging out together are on the world wide web!
Ileana D’Cruz recently broke up with her boyfriend Andrew Kneebone, however, her recent Instagram post revealed that she is in Love. The actress took to the photo-sharing app and posted, “I think I’m in Love”. In her next Insta- story, she shared a picture of a cute dog who has her heart.
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Recently, Athiya’s father Suniel Shetty was at an event and he was asked about her relationship, to which he said, “I am not having the relationship. You will have to ask Athiya.” When further he was asked if the dating rumours are true and will he accept the relationship, he firmly said, “You come and tell me if it is true, then we will talk about it. You don’t know, how can you ask me then?”
No one can deny that Milind Soman is one of the sexiest men of Bollywood. He keeps his fans updated with regular posts on his social media handles. And today, he took to his Instagram to share a throwback picture of him posing nude for a photoshoot. His fans, who went all crazy with the picture, bombarded his post with comments.
However, what caught our attention was the comment of his lovely wife Ankita Konwar. Taking to her Instagram handle, she commented on the post saying, ‘And that’s exactly why I arrived hello lover’.
Ayushmann Khurrana will be next seen in ‘Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan’, the film which deals with same-sex marriage. And recently, Ayushmann who has done movies on unconventional subjects revealed that he has kissed a boy in the past. He said, “I have kissed a boy in the past. We were playing truth and dare. I got the dare (to kiss a boy) and so I did it”.
The actor, who is seen playing a gay character in the film is seen kissing his co-star Jitendra Kumar in the ‘Gabru’ song of the film.
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