#gotta slay to slay pirates

[quek-a-sketch]

"KIRA STOP AND GET YOUR ASS ON THE BATTLEFIELD"

"in a minuteeeeeeeeeee"

[littlest-bugz]

I love that there's this game I absolutely love and follow accounts of people with AUs but have never once seen gameplay or played it myself

[itspercyintime]

Since I've finished the last olympian, here's my official ranking of the pjo books

Sea of Monsters. This one is hard to top I'm not sorry. My two favorite characters (grover and clarisse) get SO much content, Clarisse is a pirate for a sec, Grover's in a wedding dress, Tyson exists, it's everything I could ever want

The Last Olympian. Also goes insanely hard. The fucking titan war?? Slapped. The angst? Slapped. Percabeth? Slapped. Fucking CLARISSE, GROVER BECOMES THE LORD OF THE WILD RUEGARD ACHILLES AND PATROCLUS PARALLEL GODDD

Battle of The Labyrinth. Would be second if I wasn't so insane about the last olympian. I fucking love mazes and shit, the og trio back together on a quest PLUS TYSON, Ethan and Rachel become relevant, Percabeth kiss, etc etc. I ate botl up left and right that shit slapped

The Lighting Thief. THE OG!! It's so dear to me. Unfortunately it doesn't top the previous three but it's still BELOVED in my heart of hearts. I gotta shut up or I'll start rambling about it god I love that book

The Titan's Curse. It is NOT last out of slander I adore it wholeheartedly it means to much to me but I just can't put it above the others. If any slander at all it's in last place for Bianca's death that absolutely shattered me but otherwise fucking slay book I love it sm

Feel free to fight me

[aachria]

Ok ok ok ok ok ok so

When luffy is telling the monkey prince wish story with the stars. Ed is the prince and joyboy? Or sun God nika is the monkey.

And then at some point ed died, then reincarnated into modern day always slay ed... then died again and turned into one bitchass ass pirate fighting motherfucker ed

WHAT IS UP WITH THIS LORE?????

PLSSSSSSS ISTG LET ACE LIVE, I KNOW HOS DEATH IS PROGRESSIVE FOR THE STORY BUT FUCK THE STORY MAN😭😭😭

LET ASL LOVE HAPPY LIVES, ILL DONATE TO YOUR KOFI IF YOU DO🙏🙏🙏

Hey what if I told you I bring up the constellation next chapter. How would that make you feel?

YEAH IT'S ALL OVER THE PLACE OK I KNOW IT'LL MAKE SENSE LATER PROBABLY.

Yeah.... plot progression.... that is important isn't it.............

Babygirl I am not gonna hold you to that donation thing lmao, you reaaaally don't gotta no matter how Ace ends up and I am NOT bending to bribes for his fate. I mean yes gimme money if you want, I will keep your bribe money because school is FUCKING EXPENSIVE, but you do NOT have to do that if Ace lives. Or dies. However he is when the dust settles.

[ladylizzieofdarbyshire]

"If my only purpose in life is to love a woman as great as you, I will be a very fulfilled man indeed."

Babe. BABE! You cannot drop that line and NOT expect me to burst into tears.

Readmore of Sarah's live takes on the newest Bridgerton season:

Bisexual Benedict Bridgerton supremecy. No seriously, BISEXUAL BENEDICT BRIDGERTON!!!!!!!!! I nearly screamed, y'all

Phillipa Featherington Finch is the most adorable woman on the planet, I will die on that hill, I love her, your honor.

Ngl, I really feel for Cressida. I was really hoping for a Lady Danbury/Cressida runaway parallel, but alas. Also WHAT was with the Mrs. Cowper BEEF with the Bridgertons, damn??? Also Also: what happened to the nature lord from pt1 of the season? Surely he wouldve shifted his attention back to Cressida right?? But no, poof. He gone

The women this season SO FUCKING PRETTY, I CANNOT HANDLE THIS ASFLSKSH KATE, HELLO??? PEN?? ELOISE??? ALICE??? SHOW ME A WOMAN IN THIS SHOW I WOULDN'T SWOON FOR, STARS HAVE MERCY.

Colin needs more color in his wardrobe in the last few episodes, dangnabbit. Blacks and browns are all well and good, but he deserves to slay during his season, especially during the climax ball!!! Give him a colored shirt, a pattered vest, SOMETHING! Also: Show me more FOB Pirate Colin please and thank you

Alice, you go queen! Slide right into society and have them all chasing YOU to come to their brunches. Hell yeah. I just KNOW Danbury is setting the Mondritch's up to slide into her place as the rule breakers/trendsetters of society events

Pen's breasts are spilling out of every dress she wears. Im not saying that's a PROBLEM, I'm just saying as a fellow perfect breasted woman, I know from experience that her dresses are too small around the bust for her body. Theyre not custom made, they were ordered, then tailored to fit her - but wardrobe didn't account for the extra give around the chest, so the dresses are squeezing as tightly across as possible, it CANNOT be comfortable. Very common problem for us short curvatious women. Sexy as hell though, 11/10 very distracting

That settee sex scene?!? The mirror??? The strip tease?!?!? Please have mercy, I'm only human

Francesca and John are so FUCKING ADORABLE I cant help but squeal every time they're together. I too want to go off with a sweet adorable husband to go live in a gorgeous castle in Scotland

Eloise is so pretty, but I just gotta say it, I HATE her wardrobe. It looks neither comfortable, nor very pretty, nor very flattering. Are they purposefully trying to make her look youger to stave off her romance/season? It's the only explanation I can come up with for those atrocious bows at the necklines

Now FRANCESCA'S wardrobe does a PHENOMENAL job of both being very pretty and nailing her characterization compared to the women around her. I LOVE the accented, high necklines.

I loved the inky hands, cool detail to pull out

And just to loop back around once again, BISEXUAL BENEDICT BRIDGERTON!!!!

I audibly said "OH SHIT" when Pen turned away from the print shop to find Colin. 'Whoop, there it is'

Ben's affirmation to Eloise about love not being finite, and the implication that just because Pen and Colin love each other, it doesn't cheapen the relationship El has with each of them individually really got to me man. I cried.

[mlmvoreconfessionals]

How about f.oxy eating all the other g.lamrock animatronic, c.ock v.ore p.ec v.ore and maybe some ctf?

That’s one for everybody, so works for me! But also wuh-oh, another long one because I gotta spend time injecting all of my headcanons into the story as well.

“Yaaaargh...” F.oxy is grumbling to himself as he paces back and forth in his room. The pirate can’t believe what he’s heard recently--replacing him? Him? Sure, it was just some whispered mutters from technicians while he was getting his last check up, but that doesn’t mean he’s okay with it! Even the fact that the rumor exists is a problem. He needs to figure out some way to prevent that from happening. But how...

A few thoughtful taps of his hook against his chin and F.oxy pauses. A toothy grin curls onto his muzzle. Now there’s an idea. They can’t replace him if they still need him. And they’ll need him if, say, something has happened to the other members of the band. But it can’t just be an accident that can be easily repaired. He’s gotta make sure they’re out for a while to ensure that everyone remembers how to appreciate F.oxy! So...best do something about that...

Leaving his room, F.oxy is on the prowl. He knows where one of them is at least, and heading to the golf course, he finds the gator in question. M.onty is lumbering around, likely on the prowl for anyone who has a particularly terrible handle of mini-golf. Well, F.oxy is going to be their savior! Like the knight slaying the dragon...except he’s a pirate and this is a gator.

“Yar, M.ontgomery!” F.oxy waves his hooked hand as he approaches the gator. F.oxy is tall, like all the animatronics, but he’s...also the shortest. So M.onty basically towers over him, tipping his head down to glare over his sunglasses at the pirate. “I have somethin’ important to tell ye,” F.oxy goes on, gesturing for M.onty to lean down. “Gotta keep it under wraps.”

M.onty lets out an annoyed grunt, glancing around a bit--either to see if anyone is listening or just to make sure there’s no prey, F.oxy can’t tell which. “Make it quick, furball. I’m busy here.” He squats down, coming in close for F.oxy to whisper to him.

F.oxy can’t help the toothy grin that curls onto his muzzle again as he says “I’m gonna turn ya into pec meat.” And then he shoves down hard on the back of M.onty’s head. The gator tries to make a sound, but his muzzle smooshes right into the furry chest of the fox, and then sinks right into it. A deep huff escapes F.oxy as he feels the space between his pecs filling up, M.onty’s head getting shoved neatly inside.

M.onty’s muffled roaring making F.oxy’s entire chest vibrate, and strong, clawed hands begin to shove hard on his chest. For a moment, F.oxy is actually worried M.onty will pull himself out, and he knows that those jaws will be impossible to escape once they come for him. But M.onty makes a mistake as he wedges his fingers between F.oxy’s pecs in some effort to pry them apart. So all the pirate has to do is flex his chest and he’s sucked both hands in with a pleased sigh.

F.oxy keeps flexing his chest, grunting and huffing as he works on packing his fellow bandmate away. M.onty’s broad shoulders manage to squeeze in, and then his own impressive chest is disappearing. His abs go in next, and it’s starting to lift M.onty off the ground. His legs kick around wildly and his tail thrashes back and forth. But they’re sinking into his chest with each flex as well, making it bulge out more and more.

Finally, F.oxy just has a pair of kicking feet and a tail tip poking out between his pecs. He doesn't even need a flex now. They sink in all on their own, disappearing from the world and sealing M.onty away in the pirate’s chest. It’s bulging out heavily before him, bouncing around as the gator thrashes inside. Bulges stretch out his muscles, claws and a roaring face pushing up over and over.

“Mmm...” F.oxy looks down at his chest smugly, pushing down gently with his good hand every so often. It gets another muffled roar out of M.onty and some more thrashing. It’s making his chest flex involuntarily, trying to do something about the heavy, lively meat inside. “I gotta say, ye might have convinced me that gator meat is good. Gonna have to add it to me diet!” F.oxy laughs while another muffled roar barely escapes his pecs. “Now then...let’s see if bunny and bear are just as good.” F.oxy leaves the golf course, starting to flex his pecs tightly as he returns to the hunt.

People definitely notice the pirate walking around--he’s not really trying to be sneaky. So they also notice the roaring, squirming bulge of M.onty in his chest. F.oxy’s ears flicker around as he hears just about everyone muttering about it soon. Is it a new show? Is M.onty getting replaced? Maybe F.oxy is getting a bigger role? It makes the pirate grin wide and flex his chest tightly. He hears a muffled crack inside and it gets M.onty to roar again. “Aargh, it sounds like me plan is as genius as I thought. Best put ye in yer proper place then.”

Each flex is earning a crunch and a snap now, his pecs starting to shrink down. M.onty’s powerful body has been packed into too tight a space, and all the flexing before has tenderized it. And now the gator is starting to actually compact down, his body bending under the increasing pressure of F.oxy’s chest. His body is body and mashed and pumped away, adding to F.oxy’s own.

The fox’s muscles are starting to grow outward, getting thicker and stronger. He always had a muscular build, but only a slight one. Now they’re becoming more prominent, arms swelling and chest getting thicker. His abs grow more defined and his legs get stronger. F.oxy is even getting a bit taller, his entire body growing off of the mass he’s siphoning from M.onty. The thrashing goes weaker over time, the bulges stretching out less with each tight flex that mashes more of M.onty down into mass. His roaring is growing softer, starting to sound more like weak groaning and even whimpers. And then, finally, it all stops with a final flex that gets a deep sigh out of F.oxy.

B.onnie Bowl is the next destination. Specifically, the small, private dressing room in the back that B.onnie likes to hang out in when he wants to be somewhere private. The rabbit is plucking at guitar strings, working on tuning it. The sound leads F.oxy right to him, and he looks up when he hears the pirate enter. “Oh, hey, didja need--woah...F.oxy?”

“Aye, that be me,” F.oxy says with a big grin. He’s nearly as tall as M.onty used to be, his normally large and baggy coat now much more form fitting. Letting it always hang open really shows off his newly defined torso, especially those much bigger slabs he has for pecs. They bounce slightly with a few lazy flexes, pumping the last bits of M.onty away.

“Well...wow, man. They give you some kinda fancy upgrade?” B.onnie turns to fully face F.oxy, setting his guitar aside. He’s not very subtle in the way that he’s looking the pirate over. It just makes F.oxy chuckle to himself.

“Somethin’ like that. I just came by ‘cause I could use another.” F.oxy lazily scratches at his chest. Something’s tickling him a bit. Must be something that got caught while he was mulching M.onty down.

B.onnie tilts his head slightly as he watches F.oxy walk closer. “Whaddya mean?” He looks down slightly as he notices something green flaking from F.oxy’s chest while he itches himself. Are those scales..? F.oxy’s hook digs slightly between his pecs and pulls something out. A pair of cracked, star-shaped sunglasses. B.onnie’s eyes widen slightly. “Aren’t those--MMPPH?!”

F.oxy groans out deeply, tongue lolling out as he plants his hand on the back of B.onnie’s head and pushes. His cock greedily accepts the whole thing, going down to the rabbit’s shoulders. He lazily flicks his hook, tossing the sunglasses aside. “I got bigger everywhere but down there. I’m sure ye can help with that li’l ‘upgrade’ just like M.ontgomery did.”

B.onnie frantically tries to pull himself away, but F.oxy thrusts his hips forward, shoving himself down the rabbit’s shoulders and chest. Another pleased groan rumbles up from the fox’s chest and he closes his eyes. Every thrust of his hips allows his cock to swallow up more of B.onnie, dragging the rabbit up and out of his chair. His legs kick and twitch around in the air, pre helping to grease the rabbit up for his decent.

F.oxy huffs and makes his cock bounce, letting it smack into his stomach. It sends B.onnie’s legs flopping up into the air as well, and then just as quickly slurping down his member. The fox’s cock drops back down, now up to B.onnie’s ankles. Another bounce, and B.onnie slurps down, the bulge in F.oxy’s cock traveling down and dropping into his rapidly bloating balls.

“Aaargh...now that’s more like it,” F.oxy huffs out. His nuts are hanging down to his ankles, tightly wrapped around B.onnie’s frame. The rabbit shifts and wiggles about, still too confused and shocked to properly attempt a struggle. Not that it would save him. “It’s not often that I get to send someone to a salty seabed, but this will have to do. I promise that me cock is just as unforgiving as a turbulent sea.” As if to prove his point, a wet sloshing sound echoes from F.oxy’s nuts as they shift heavily, B.onnie already starting to melt into a boiling load.

“F...F.oxy, this ain’t funny!” B.onnie squeaks out. “What’s F.reddy gonna do when he notices M.onty and I are gone, huh?!”

“Oh, I plan on visitin’ the Cap'n here soon,” F.oxy reassures, already starting to walk off. “And he’ll be providin’ me last upgrade. No one will want to replace me then...”

“What? Replace you? F.oxy, no one is going to--” B.onnie’s voice is pretty easily drowned out by the oncoming sloshing and churning and bubbling that comes from F.oxy walking around with such a heavy sack. The rabbit is finally starting to kick and wiggle around, not that it’s doing anything beyond keeping F.oxy’s cock hard and dripping. It’s perfect for his next plan.

All the while, B.onnie’s confines continue to grow warmer and muskier. The cum around him is starting to grow in volume, and he’s far too aware that it’s not all just from the fox. His blue fur is washing out, losing its color, and a tingling numbness is starting to spread along his body. He tries to call out for F.oxy to let him go--or for someone to help him. But even he can barely hear himself over the sounds of the churning nuts, and he keeps sputtering up cum that splashes into his open mouth.

When the numb sensation is spreading up his legs at an alarming rate, and through his hands, B.onnie starts to realize it’s too late. He winds up splashing backwards, going limp with a tired sigh. His ears are drooping too much to be solid, and his body is growing heavier and harder to move. The cum continues to boil and rise around him, and as it goes over his head, he can only hope that F.reddy will be alright.

By the time F.oxy arrives at the underground stage area, his nuts are rounded out completely and looking smaller. Still large, of course, drooping down to his knees, but there’s not much left that’d be recognizable as B.onnie. It’s just boiling cum and likely a much heftier sack. The need for release is getting more intense, and thankfully, his release of choice is leaning over right now as he tries to untangle some wires on the stage.

F.reddy lets out a surprised yelp and perks up when he feels a drooling cock push into his furry rump. He looks over his shoulder, blushing dark as he sees a grinning F.oxy looming over him. “F-F.oxy! Goodness, you scared me. Do you...mmnn...need some relief that badly?” Ever since they’d gotten those more adult upgrades, casually using one another for stress relief has become a regular part of their routines.

“Balls are bluer than the shining sea, Cap'n,” F.oxy says with a huff. Maybe as blue as a melted rabbit, even. F.oxy starts to lazily rock his hips, thrusting into F.reddy’s ass over and over. The pirate does contemplate for a moment that he’ll be out of ass to enjoy after this...but once he’s done, who would even be able to resist the advances of the improved fox? So he starts to thrust a bit faster.

F.reddy moans out, bracing himself on the floor. “I-I can tell...” F.oxy’s nuts are sloshing thickly with each roll of his hips and F.reddy can feel them slamming into the back of his thighs every time F.oxy thrusts into him. “Did you...get a bit carried away with your pirate roleplay again..?” It’s not the first time F.oxy has had such a heavy set of nuts when he likes to swing around on his ropes and snatch up customers.

“Nah, gotta li’l carried away with...a certain rabbit.” F.oxy grunts as he forces his full length into F.reddy, planting his hand down on the bear’s hip to hold him steady. He can already tell it’s working. His thrusting continues, but he’s not pulling out, instead making F.reddy’s entire body rock back and forth.

“H-Huh? Rabbit..?” F.reddy huffs and moans, feeling a very intense warmth starting to spread through him. “B...B.onnie..?” F.reddy is finding it a little difficult to think. He knows that there’s a connection he’s not making here, something that should be important.

“Mhmm~” F.oxy runs his hand along F.reddy’s side and shivers. He can feel his own hand now, and F.reddy’s body is growing warm. The legs that F.oxy’s massive nuts are sitting on no longer separate from him. They’re stuck together, and to his sack, and they’re starting to melt down into the same thing. “B.onnie and M.ontgomery...helped me with some new upgrades, just to make sure that no cowardly landlubbers got any funny ideas about me. And now, Cap'n, ye are gonna help, too.”

“H...Help...” F.reddy’s mind is growing fuzzier. The warmth spreading through his body is nice, comforting. He tries to move a bit but he finds it really difficult. He can’t curl his toes anymore, and his arms moved at some point, held down at his sides. He pants softly, something thick and salty starting to dribble from his maw. It’s not drool, it’s...

F.oxy rubs over his shaft, panting and thrusting against his own hand. F.reddy’s entire lower body is gone, mostly reduced to mass on F.oxy’s sack. His arms meld down with the rest of his body, leaving him as just a torso and head. But even that shape is changing, vein stretching up and his entire form changing to that of F.oxy’s cock. “That’s right, Cap'n. Yer helpin’ me...just give in...”

Only thick gurgles come from F.reddy, cum practically gushing out of his maw. It’s starting to shoot slightly, small ropes splattering over the stage. F.reddy’s mind is fading faster and faster. His vision grows dark around the edges, and that darkness is closing in fast. There’s a few more gurgles that might have been an effort to talk, but they stop. F.oxy can feel F.reddy’s mind completely break apart, just adding to his load, and the pirate finally roars out as he cums.

Cum splatters around the stage in a torrent, each rope shooting off a gallon of fresh fox seed. B.onnie, as well as whatever parts of F.reddy were unneeded, are painting the stage and the equipment on it. The walls and high ceiling of the underground section get splattered with white as well. And with each heavy fire of cum, F.oxy’s cock shrinks down a bit.

After several minutes straight of the biggest orgasm of his life, F.oxy flops onto his back with a deep huff. He’s sweaty now, his chest rising and falling as he takes heavy, labored breaths. Between his legs, his new cock dribbles a bit more cum onto the floor. It’s nearly a ten inches soft and thick enough that not even two hands could fully wrap around it. It’s colors have changed slightly, taking on a soft brown with a blue lightning bolt down the top half of it. Under that is a set of nuts as large as two grapefruit, far bigger than they’d ever been before.

By the time F.oxy gets back to his own room, it’s nearly an hour later, and he’s still tired. He stinks of musk and sex, and he finds that none of his normally baggy pants fit over his muscular thighs and ass, or his bulging cock. So he gives up on that and flops back onto his couch with a deep sigh. He’s certain now that they’ll never want to replace him. In fact, they’ll come crawling to him, begging for F.oxy to be the star of the show while they scramble to find some way to handle the sudden loss of most of their talent.

A grin crosses F.oxy’s face again. He runs a hand along his pecs slowly, down his abs, and lazily gropes over his cock and sack. He connects himself to the comms system and gets in contact with Parts and Service. “Aargh...it would seem that me bandmates have taken on an early retirement. I’ll be down soon to show ye all where they’ve settled. Then...we can talk about who is getting ‘replaced’.” He disconnects with a chuckle and lazily rubs his cock some more, feeling it chub up. Maybe just a quickie...he has a new body to enjoy, might as well enjoy it.

[themightymoose]

The Treasure of Henrietta Twombly

Ohhhhh Australian mannnn

Bro you can't do that to a teenage girl 💀

Girlie's so confused

I love Zoe's pirate impression

And Vinnie is also a pirate

Broooooo Pepper's being the smartest one in the room that's embarrassing

How does she know what reality TV means but not Russell

Mrs. Twombly doesn't want to be rude

You're not flirting with her right now

This redhead lady is everywhere

"Hedgehog! Skunk!" Couldn't even be bothered to know their names

The twins are slaying those mustaches

Blythe cares more about them causing damage than Mrs. Twombly

Pepper's so excited

She just casually stole the map in front of everyone

The Biskits in this are soooo funny

Crushes them cutely

So their names are just their species

Oh my god is Blythe a sheriff

I love it

He doodled that quickly

Blythe hates them so much she wants them gone

Pepper's Australian accent 💀

Damn. Ouch you okay girlie

"They've been annoying this city for generations!"

That must be quite the sight to wake up to

Ayyyeee it's Buttercream 😎

Her and Pepper's exchange

PET ATTACK

Y'all gotta break everything huh

Uh ohhhh

I'm running out of things to say :/

This little dude is surprisingly strong

Poor guy

Epic chase scene

Vinnie clinging onto Penny's face

"If we were animals-" "Which we are." Damn I love them

"It's a, uhhh, d-doOR-"

Can someone help out Penny

"CALM DOOOWWWWNNN 👺👺👺 when we hit the bottom we'll stop :) 😇"

THEY BROKE THROUGH THE FLOOR

I think you guys are in the bad place

That's one hollow tree

Girl boss moment

No one gathered was there for the opening

I love how Pepper slips into an Australian accent whenever she says treasure

Why tf would you put that in your mouth

I'm glad they acknowledged the kibble is over a hundred years old

[debbeh]

can u give me a guide to the six idiots :33 like maybe with a picture of them n their names n who they play in the Big Three shows :33 pwetty peesse :33

UM YES!?

ok, you saw me earlier trying to format all the images so it's gonna be mostly my (ehhhh) descriptions of the characters and you gotta guess what they look like 😈

Ben Willbond

Yonderland:

Elder Vex (above): the one who says Deb-beh and has the coziest looking outfit I NEED IT RN PLZ and the Tom Cardy- esque hair and earring

Nick: the stick. Grumpy all the time cuz he's a stick >:(. Is also a portal between dimensions but whatevs

Horrible Histories

Mike Peabody :historical news reporter that wishes he were anywhere but here rn

King Henry, Alexander the Great: SkINy MaNdRiA, excellent hair, sniffed a guy

Ghosts

The captain: AKA James, makes a lotta noises, if you ever hear me going weeeahhhhhuuuueeeaaaaaahhhh, I'm referencing him, the gay one<3

Martha Howe-Douglas!

Yonderland!!

Debbie.

Debbie's evil twin sister (bossy boobs)

I just googled it: Rita, the Negatus simp AKA us, the demon that looks like how female animals are protrayed in Barbie movies

Horrible Histories!!!

Boudica (look up the song, it's rlly good), Cleopatra, every female historical figure

Pirate lady....<33333

Ghosts!

Lady Button (present day): Old disgruntled lady that pouts all the time and falls out of windows

Lady Button (flashback)

Mathew Baynton!!!

Yonderland!!!

Oracle: weird blue blob guy, Nigel, Darling

Nanny la roo: NUM NUMS!!!! - nanny that is also a kangaroo

Admiral Anous: Voldemort mf I hate him bc he hates Negatus>:(

Elder Choop: Croissant hair mf, says, "IDK WHY DON'T WE ASK UR MUM??"

Le Fox: French

THE BIRRDDDDD: AKA Thomas Payne, Batman but cooler

Oh yeah, and Elf: the elf shaped one, full name: Grintallin Gobscrew Crotell Fashanu F’naw Goplatz Holla-Holla, has multiple wives apparently and is in debt to the mob

Horible Histories (look all of them up, they are all hot)

Dick Turpin: play the song >:333, shot not one but two men dead!

D.I. Bones: the whakkus bonkkused

King Charles II: absolute party-er

Ghosts

Thomas Thorne, shot, dead! Absolute poetic simp for Allison, drowned himself in the lake ;( -cannot drown-

Jim Howik!!!

Yonderland

Elder Pressley: looks like Elvis, eats christmas tree ornaments

Crone: A sLaPper *wink wink*, has apparently gotten with everyone, goes eeeerrrrrrrrrrr all the time- sounds like a doorhinge, she is amazing

Neil: lhe most normal of the demons probably

Horrible Histories

A SHOUTY MAN!!! :does all the infomercials, will try to sell you piss

King George VI (above) : "oh yesss, dad's dead, I'm king..."

King Richard III: a sweet little guy<3 -according to the song, get's attacked by whasp

Ghosts

Pat Butcher: Greatest DJ in the AAARRREEEEEUHHHHH, killed by a child, AKA Pete in the American version

Larry Rickard

Yonderland

Detective Mounteback: very dumb detective with very large hat

Elder Ho Tan: trans Icon, doesn't like loud noises, absolute baby<3

Sue: above, the lady with the gun from the episode I showed you

Horrible Histories

Bob Hale: weather report, needs a hellicopter and a nice cup of tea, basically Bill Wurtz

Lol knight with shit on head, Aztec guy, George III friend who slays so hard; "ConGRatu-VerY-LaTiOns your... *MAgEsTy*"

Ghosts

Humphrey: keeps getting left on roofs and shelves, does NOT know French smh

Robin: 5,000 yo ghosts, once saw a cool butterfly, KNOWS FRENCH! Got stuck by lightning and now he can turn on lights

and finally... the moment you've been waiting for...

Simon Farnaby!!!

Yonderland!!!

Negatus<333: Silly guy try to take over Yonderland but is just a lil guy, has an evil lair, uses The Font of Orris (cauldron thing that lets you see everything) as a hot tub, get's bullied by all the other overlords, wears pjs with houses on them.

Elder Flowers!!!: Long hair and lack of shirt, vegetarian hippie of the group, wants his clothes to be veGONE, "all you need is love, brothers... oh, and food"

Horrible Histories

Emperor Caligula: the wakkus bonkkus guy

Marcus Licinius Crassus: Knockoff Bassline Junkie song

Ghosts:

Jullian!!!: Died conducting an affair with his secretary!!!, is eternally sorta drunk, does the hand thing, only ghost that can interact with stuff, makes silly EEERREREEEEE noise when he's trying to move something, his name is Trevor in the American version, sad when there's no porn on da TV ;(, has no pants BTW

Thanks for coming to my TEDTALK!!!

Lemme know if I missed anything!

[lollytea]

How old is the hexside squad in the Neverland AU second question, What do they wear?

Same ages as their canon selves. The girls are between 14-15, Gus is 12-13, Hunter is 16.

I don't have any specific insistence on what they wear cuz I see that as a creative liberty.

Luz and Gus are Lost Boys and those guys just fucking wear whatever. Idk what's going on in these pics but Slay 💅🏻

Anything from pajamas to stolen pirate garments to old scrubby human realm clothes that they wore when they got here that they've patched up or modified. Anything goes. Lost Boy fashion is a lawless land. There's also shit like animal pelts but I don't imagine Luz would wear those. Gus probably wouldn't either. He's a fashionista so

With Amity it's like...I haven't decided on a specific time period but I'm leaning towards the Edwardian era. Loosely. Cuz like. It'll probably get a little historically inaccurate at times but I really don't care and that's why it's a very noncommittal connection to that era. That being said, I imagine Amity appearing in Neverland in her prim and proper period appropriate attire. She would try to keep herself tidy because this is the only outfit she's got and she needs to take care of it and a teacher cannot look unpresentable. But like....Neverland is Neverland. Its still probably got some tatters and torn damage and stains but she's making it work. Something along these lines

Either that or she wears a night dress like Wendy Darling.

Willow is.....she is whatever. In my head Willow has a whole closet of cute little fairy outfits. Fairy outfits are just so CUTE to me and I've been obsessed with all the little fits people have been drawing her in. Artists are fashion designers to me 😌

Inspo of cute little flower petal dresses from fairy illustrations is so lovely to think about

And also gotta remember Emmy's concept art for WAD epilogue Willow, which is SOO fairycore

And honesty I don't even have any ref for Hunter. I don't know. I don't care. Pirate. He wears pirate things. As long as he looks a little fruity, I don't give a fuck what he's got on his back.

[prismfloor]

Concept: Izzy Hands except he has a Chopper bag

Just a silly doodle! I wore an outfit heavily inspired by Izzy the other day. I'm in the mood to draw him, so why not use the fit? Plus, with the live action one piece, come on, ya gotta combine the pirates. Izzy would slay with Chopper

[sheasshovel]

gotta ask, tbh can't believe someone hasn't done this, BUT-

lifers as genshin characters, who's who

omg WAITTTT this is so hard cuz so few genshin characters have actual writing and like each life series has wildly different vibes for each character BUT ILL DO MY BEST (fanon save me) ((and im doing majority sl since I remember it the most)) ((((ill do it based on vibes i think))))

Etho -> weirdly… im thinking Cyno. “Did you jump?” And him trying to mimic the aha jokes and being “pathetic and quirky” in sl matches cynos nerdy energy OH WAIR I SHOULDVE SAID KAZUHA CUZ OF CANADA UM

Cleo-> beidou.. “I WILL FRONT STAB MY FRIENDS THANK YOU VERY MUCH.” Pirate slay lady and has a big cool ship in s6 hc

Grian -> erm like. traveller💀 IM SORRY HES AETHER TO ME AND GRIAN ISNT EVEN THE MAIN CHARACTER but yeah he FR just goes with everything happening around him

Lizzie -> pink haired lady with underwater empire u say…….. kokomi (I haven’t watched empires) but like kokomi if she was written well and emphasizing the war general girl failure parts of her

Scar -> itto cuz I love him next question. also ITTO is an immortal and scar never died in sl imagine the angst potential “the last one standing”

Martyn -> he’s so self aware so this is super hard but like. Maybe uh um HEIZOU cuz he’s always like thinking ahead but sometimes silly but he’s also like smart and a detective too! or maybe HEIZOU is Grian u choose

Jimmy -> BENNETS luck and Mika’s everything else I JUST THINK ITS SO FUNNY

Skizz -> whos a funny father figure in genshin. Ill get back to u on tha oh my god he’s dionas npc father HELP IDK I CANT ANIME GAME HIM HES TOO STRONG

Tango -> THOMA IS HE THOMA? blond nice team player kind of dense AND THOMAS PET DOG IS LIKE TORCHY TO ME or is he childe cuz of the rage. I dont know!

BigB -> AYATO he’s secretive but also :3 and ayato would probably gaslight people for fun. and ayato is related to ayaka the most :3 girl ever. they are insane and wildly charismatic and also silly. Like imagine of ayato presented himself as more wholesome on the outside. Or if bigb became royalty do u see the vision

Scott -> Self sacrificial… trustworthy…. “I still might kill myself but now its less likely”…. team player… blue hair? idk I think it has to be like IDK IM DRAWING A BLANK IM GETTING KAEYA FROM HIM IF KAEYA WAS MORE LOYAL? IDK

Impulse -> Erm uh uh uh uh let’s say uh let’s say uh uh uh uh uh bro who’s a smart dad in the genshin lineup someone help me NUEVILETTE??? WTF IS HE NUEVI WHAT NO NUEVI ISNT SILLY idk what to do here

Gem -> Navia SHES A BUBBLY GIRLBOSS with so many emotions and omg when gem killed Scott and was like shocked. I thought of how navia would react to silver and Meluse dissolving in front of her eyes and having to ignore it. In both of their cases, having to ignore it to focus on the task (haha) at hand. Also both should join the mafia anyways

Pearl -> ERM Hu Tao. insane. SUPER STRONG and heavily misunderstood “sorry i think I gotta little bit crazy” from dl is so perfect but honestly I CANT see hu tao as the self sacrificial type, or forgiving type like in sl so idk

Bdubs -> tiny. Easy to enrage. segond in command….let’s make him UGH HOW DO I MAKE BDUBS A ONE NOTE GENSHIN CHARACTER WITHOUT TAKING ANOTHER MONTH okay errmmmmmmm let’s put him as xiao but if xiao was less traumatized and sillier

Joel tiny heinz-> Childe… blood lust and trauma but he also kind of gives ALHAITHAM cuz of his sarcasm

Mumbolio -> thoma he’s so sweettttt but also kind of cray cray like is thoma not insane for protecting the TRAVELLER in front of RAIDEN hello?¿ 0 self preservation skills

RENDIGGITY DAWG -> theatre kid furry. he’s Lyney next question

if I missed any lifers pls lmk I am stupid and this is driving me crazy

[crazylittlejester]

am a firm believer that Modern Au wind got his egg cracked watching will turner and Jack sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean (it’s his fav obv it’s got pirates and alcohol) (and because those 2 also cracked my egg)

i gotta be honest, i do not understand what that egg phrase means, and i definitely should’ve asked sooner because this is like the fifth time you’ve said it to me 😭

but slay, i love will turner, the first pirates of the caribbean movie was my bisexual awakening

[maybeimamuppet]

the rainbow road

hello everyone!! 

happy priiiiide i actually genuinely did not plan having this be the first fic i posted in pride month but daaaaang it worked out lol

this was requested by OnlyHere4TheFandoms on wattpad. here it be yay :))

quite possibly the longest list of trigger warnings i’ve ever had haha oops 

pre-coming out misgendering/deadnaming 

trans/homophobia

child abuse

abandonment

bullying 

outing

self harm 

suicide attempt/ideation

implied ed

dslur

happy pride once again. whether you realized it like these kiddos or much later in life. whether you’re out and proud or watching from the closet. much love <33

enjoy!

—————

Janis still remembers the first time she thought something was up with her best friend. 

They were six years old. Having a play date at Janis’ house. Dana’s mom had come to pick her up, but they begged and pleaded and managed to get their mothers both to agree to another two whole hours while they had some coffee and caught up. 

They decided to play their favorite game, knights and princesses. Dana is always the knight. Janis doesn’t mind so much. She likes being the princess. Her old pink princess Halloween costume doesn’t fit so well anymore since she’s grown so much, but she can pretend it’s not so tight and itchy. It’s as easy as pretending the crown on her head isn’t plastic and standing on her dresser is as scary as being locked high away in a tower guarded by a fearsome dragon.

“Fear not, fair maiden!” Dana says, brandishing her sword against Janis’ puppy, Molly. “I will slay this foul beast and save you from your… uh… jail!” 

“Imprisonment, Dana,” Janis says with a roll of her eyes. She giggles as Molly chomps down on the foam sword and shakes her head, trying to steal the toy. 

“Hey! Molly,” Dana giggles, wiggling it gently to wrestle it back.

“You’re not supposed to eat it, Molly,” Janis laughs. Molly’s dragon hat is falling off, so she hops down and adjusts it. 

“Hey! You’re not supposed to get down! How am I supposed to save you now?” 

“I guess the princess saved herself this time,” Janis says with a shrug. She rolls on the ground to wrestle with the delighted pup and eventually rips off the dragon costume. “The beast is… vanished!” 

“Vanquished!” Dana admonishes.

“That’s it!” Janis nods. 

“We gotta read more storybooks, I think,” Dana says as she starts pulling off her foam armor. 

“I’ll ask for more for my birthday soon.” 

“Oh, yeah!” Dana nods eagerly. Janis pulls off her hot, itchy dress, but decides to leave the crown on. “Janis?”

“Yeah?” 

“D’you ever wish you could be a boy? And not just for dress up?”

“Mm… no,” Janis says. “Well, sometimes I wish that girls could kiss girls like boys get to. But I don’t think I wanna be a boy.”

Dana is quiet, running her finger over the new teeth marks in her sword. 

“Why?” 

“Nothing. You wanna play spacemans?” Dana says, dropping her sword on the floor. Janis will definitely be in trouble later if she doesn’t clean up, but that can wait. Spacemans comes first. 

“Yeah!” she says, conversation forgotten. 

—————

They were ten when they learned there was a word for everything. 

Dana had been deemed old enough to inherit her dad’s old work laptop after he got a new one. She quickly discovered the wonder of the internet. And a few of the horrors. 

Janis came over for a sleepover. They watched a few pirated PG-13 movies. Janis had to be talked into it, briefly fearing the police would find out and come to lock them up for good. Or worse, their parents. God knows what they would do. 

Dana reassured her that she had done this before and no police nor parents had ever found out. They’d be fine as long as they didn’t fess up. Janis was pinky-sworn to secrecy and let herself enjoy a few movies. 

“D’you remember when we were little and you said you wanna kiss girls?” Dana asks as the third one’s credits scroll on the fuzzy old screen. 

“What?!” Janis gasps. 

“Hey, you said it,” Dana says. 

“I did not! I don’t wanna kiss anyone!” 

“You did so!” Dana insists. 

“And besides, girls can’t kiss other girls!” Janis huffs. “It’s illegal.” 

“No it’s not,” Dana giggles. “It’s just illegal for girls and girls and boys and boys to get married. But my mom says they’re gonna change it soon.” 

“Oh,” Janis says. 

“So you can kiss girls if you want to.” 

“I don’t! Gross!” Janis groans, burying her face in her pillow. 

“Not even Regina George?” Dana teases. Janis rears up with a gasp and whacks her with a pillow. 

“You’re horrible!” 

“Ow, hey!” Dana laughs. “You’re horribler.” 

“That’s impossible,” Janis grumbles. 

“But I’m your best friend! We got the necklaces and everything!” Dana gasps. 

“They say cousins, Dana,” Janis says with a roll of her eyes. 

“My mom read the package wrong. At least they match,” Dana huffs, closing the laptop and rolling onto her back. 

“Why’d you ask me that?” Janis asks quietly, lying on her stomach next to her. 

“Ask you what?” 

“About the… kissing girls thing.” 

“Oh,” Dana says. “I found a website. I think it’s bad. But there’s a word for girls who kiss girls. Called lesbian. And another word for girls who wanna be boys.” 

“Really?” Janis asks. “We’re not the only ones?” 

“I don’t think so.” 

“Huh. What’s the word for you?”

“Transgender,” Dana recites immediately. She’s clearly done a good bit of research here. 

“Like Transformers?” Janis asks. 

“I think so. Cause they… transform.” 

“Into a boy?” 

“Yeah. But it can go the other way, too. Some boys wanna be girls,” Dana says in disbelief. “Who’d ever wanna be a girl?”

“I dunno. Girls are prettier. And they smell better,” Janis says. 

“When I’m a boy I’ll still be pretty,” Dana says. “And smell nice.” 

“You can turn into a boy?” Janis asks. 

“I’m gonna ask my mom soon. And my dad always says he wants a son. They’ll be happy,” Dana says. 

“Cool. Can I come when you transform?” Janis asks. 

“Duh!” Dana says. “You gotta make sure they’re not actually gonna turn me into a truck or something.” 

“Oh yeah,” Janis giggles. 

“Do… you think you’ll still be my friend? When I’m a boy?” Dana asks quietly. 

“Duh,” Janis retaliates, poking her best friend in the belly. “We got the necklaces, after all.” 

“Good. You wanna go watch Mulan in the basement?” Dana asks. 

“I’ll get the popcorn!” 

—————

Janis noticed how uncomfortable her friend looked being called a ‘she’ or a ‘her’ or ‘Dana’ after that day. Always a grimace or a wince. She’d fold her arms over her chest, almost like she was trying to keep down the things she knew were doomed to come. 

She never did around Janis, though. Something about their history together, Janis supposed. 

Then Dana’s dad left. 

They were eleven. 

It was November. They’d gotten home from school a few hours earlier eager for three extra days off of school for Thanksgiving break. 

Janis was playing in the backyard with her almost-five year old little sister when she heard two car doors open and close from the other side of the house and the doorbell echoing from inside. 

She continued pushing her sister on the swings, figuring it must be someone trying to sell something or convince them to find Jesus. Janis hopes that whoever this Jesus guy is, his family find him soon. Sounds like they’ve been missing him for a long time. 

“Janis, Julie, time to come in,” their father says. Janis looks up and shudders a bit at the dark look gracing his features. 

“But-” Julie begins to protest. 

“Now, girls.” 

“No fair!” Julie whines, climbing off the swing and moping inside. Janis has been bored for a while, and it’s getting dark and cold. She heads in with nowhere near as much complaint. 

She freezes when she sees her best friend crying at the end of the hallway and their mothers talking frantically in hushed voices. 

“Mama? What’s going on?” 

“Oh, Janis!” her mother gasps. “You scared me. Why don’t you go get Dana set up in your room, dear?” 

“Um… okay?” Janis says in confusion. “What’s-” 

“I’ll explain later. You two go get settled in. Dana’s spending the night tonight.” 

Janis knows the tense look in her mother’s brow means now is not the time to push. She gently tugs on Dana’s sleeve to get her to follow her upstairs. Dana sags onto Janis’ bed like a thousand pound weight is sitting on her shoulders. Janis has never seen her cry like this. 

Janis leaves her to her feelings while she gets a sleeping bag unrolled on the ground next to her bed and grabs a spare pillow. She hesitates briefly before she sits down next to her best friend. “What happened?” 

“I… I told them,” Dana chokes. 

“Told them what?” 

“That-that I want to be a boy.” 

“Oh.” Janis says quietly. “You still want to?” 

“Not anymore,” Dana growls. “Not if this is what people do.” 

“What do you mean?” Janis asks sadly. Dana turns to look at her head on, and Janis gasps when she sees the red, almost glowing, hand-shaped welt on her cheek. “Dana!” 

“Can-can you not call me that? Please?” Dana begs. 

“Okay. What-what should I call you instead?” Janis asks, pausing her concern for the briefest of moments. 

“I don’t know. Anything but that.” 

“How about… D?” Janis asks. Dana nods frantically. Or, D does. “D, who hit you?” 

“Dad,” D chokes. 

“Your dad hit you? He can’t do that!” Janis says. 

“He did anyway,” D sobs. 

“Why?” Janis asks, desperately trying to understand. 

“He-he called me a freak. He said I was confused, but I told him-him that I’ve been-been thinking about-bout this for a really-really long time. And then he… he hit me. And he left.” 

“He can’t do that!” Janis repeats. “Your mom better talk to him when he comes back.”

D looks at her sadly. She’s quiet for a minute before whispering, “He-he’s not coming back, Janis.” 

“What do you mean?” Janis asks, feeling her chest go cold. 

“He packed his stuff. He said he wasn’t gonna-gonna stick around if this is how I was gonna make-make him live. He said it wasn’t right.” 

Janis blinks in confusion. D’s dad was always a little scary. But she never would’ve thought the man who grilled them delicious cheeseburgers on nice summer days while they played in D’s backyard, the man who made them pancakes for breakfast after sleepovers, the man who sang embarrassing karaoke with them at D’s tenth birthday, the man who gave them sparklers on the Fourth of July and birthday presents and new stuffed animals… would do this. 

“I’m sorry, D,” Janis says, not knowing what else to say. “I’ll be right back.” 

D looks up in confusion as Janis says this and watches as she runs out of the room. Their moms have moved to the living room, and Janis’ stepdad is putting Julie to bed down the hall. Janis runs into the kitchen to grab an ice pack and a towel for D’s face, and some ice cream with two spoons. 

“Janis, sweetheart,” D’s mother says. “Did… did Dana tell you what happened?” 

Janis nods solemnly. “She wants to be called D now, Mrs. Leigh.” 

“D?” she questions. She nods tightly. It’s quiet for a moment before she says, “Thank you for being there for her, honey.” 

Janis just nods. She lingers for a second. Nobody says anything, so she takes a few steps back towards her room. When nobody stops her, she runs the rest of the way back. 

“Here,” Janis says when she makes it back. D jumps as the door slams open, still on edge from what happened earlier. She smiles just a little as Janis shows off the ice cream. 

They lie side by side, D holding the ice pack against her cheek and sniffling periodically as they silently enjoy their favorite chocolate chip ice cream. 

Eventually, Janis’ mom knocks quietly on the door. Janis looks to D, who nods hesitantly. “Come in.” 

Janis’ mom steps in and shuts the door behind her. “How are you doing, Dan- uh. D?” 

“I’m okay,” D says quietly. 

“Poor girl,” Janis’ mother tuts. D tenses. 

“Mama, don’t call her a girl anymore,” Janis scolds, noticing her friend’s discomfort. 

“I don’t wanna be a her either,” D mumbles softly. 

“What do you wanna be then?” Janis asks. D shrugs. 

“Do you want to be a he?” Janis’ mother asks kindly. D shakes her head frantically. 

“What else is there?” Janis asks. 

Janis’ mother mulls this over and says, “Could be a they. Somewhere sort of in between.” 

“You wanna be a they, D?” Janis asks gently. D ponders. 

“Could we try it out? Just for tonight?” they ask quietly. 

“Of course,” Janis’ mother says kindly. “Have you had dinner, D?” 

“Yeah,” D nods. 

“And we got ice cream, Mama,” Janis says. 

Janis’ mother chuckles. “Of course. Just don’t eat too much, you know it’ll make your stomachs hurt.” 

D and Janis share a look that says they’re definitely going to finish the entire thing. Janis’ mother rolls her eyes. She inhales heavily before she gently says, “D, sweetheart, I couldn’t… help but notice your hair.” 

D instinctively reaches a hand to the back of their head. Janis somehow missed the huge chunk missing of their formerly long, beautiful chestnut brown hair. 

“Do you want me to help you fix it?” Janis’ mother continues. 

D hesitates, the hand they have wrapped around the spoon shaking. They put it down and grip their thighs to stop it. “Um… maybe later?” 

“Of course. Let me know if you want, alright? You two have fun up here. Julie’s asleep, so keep the noise to a minimum, please.” 

“We will,” Janis sighs. 

“Thanks, Mrs. Ian,” D adds politely. Janis’ mother smiles before she leaves them to their ice cream, clicking the door shut behind her. 

“What happened to your hair?” Janis asks. 

“I cut it,” D says sheepishly. 

“No duh, stupid,” Janis snorts. “Why?” 

“I don’t want it long anymore. That’s how my parents found out,” D says, pushing some of the ice cream around the rapidly emptying pint before hesitantly taking another bite. 

“My mom’s good at hair. She does my stepdad’s all the time,” Janis says. “She still won’t let me dye mine, though.”

“But your hair is so pretty!” D gasps. 

“That’s what she always says,” Janis huffs. 

“Why do you want to dye it?” 

“Regina wants us to match,” Janis shrugs. “Kinda like a uniform.” 

“You’d look nice as a blonde,” D nods. “I like your hair dark, though.” 

Janis shrugs again. “It’s what Regina wants.”

“But what do you want?” 

“For her not to hit me again,” Janis chuckles. 

“She hit you?” 

“Yeah. Not hard. It’s fine,” Janis says. 

“Friends shouldn’t hit you, Janis,” D says. 

“I know that, Da- D. She didn’t mean it, it’s fine. Let it go.” 

D eyes her oddly, but doesn’t mention anything again. The handprint on their cheek fades as they huddle together under Janis’ pink duvet and watch The Little Mermaid. 

“D’you think your mom will still do my hair?” D asks softly, fiddling with a stray thread on the blanket. Janis checks the clock on the computer and sees it’s past midnight now. Her mom might be asleep. They’re definitely supposed to be. 

She shrugs. “If she’s still up, she probably will.”

They both roll out of the bed and head off to find Janis’ mom. They hear raised voices coming from the kitchen.

“Wait here,” Janis says when they reach the top of the stairs. D looks at her in confusion, but sits and watches Janis go down. Janis heads down the hallway and stands there, listening. 

“I just don’t want Janis hanging around those kinds of people, Ettie,” she hears her stepdad say. 

“And what kind of people would that be, Greg?” her mom responds. 

She can practically hear her dad’s grit teeth. “You know damn well.” 

“They’re eleven years old. Nothing is-”

“Exactly. Eleven is way too young to be exposed to that sort of lifestyle.” 

“How is a child living in a way that makes them comfortable a lifestyle?” Janis’ mother questions. 

“It just isn’t natural, Ettie!” her father insists. “What if she influences Janis to be… like that?” 

“You know damn well nobody can influence Janis into anything she doesn’t want to do,” her mother huffs around a sardonic laugh. “If Janis does come out as something, she will still be my daughter. And I’d hope she’d be yours too.” 

It’s silent after that. Janis shows her face from behind the wall and tries her best to make it seem like she didn’t hear their whole conversation. “Mama, D wants to know if you can help with their hair now.”

“Now? It’s late, don’t you two want to get some sleep?” her mother responds. She forces a smile, but Janis can still see the strain behind her eyes and the tension held in her brow. 

“Mama,” Janis huffs with a roll of her eyes. 

Her mother chuckles. “Of course not. Go get her- them set up in the bathroom, I’ll be right up.” 

“Mmkay,” Janis says. She heads back up to her best friend, trying to forget what she just heard. “D, come on.” 

D follows her to the bathroom and winces a bit as she flips on the light, having gotten adjusted to the darkness of the hallway. Janis’ mother comes up after a few minutes with a stool from the kitchen. She sets it in front of the mirror and tells D to sit down on it. 

“How short do you want to go? I can just even it out with what you cut, if you want, or I can go shorter if you want… something more masculine,” she asks as she snaps the hair cutting cape around D’s neck. 

“I think just even it out, please,” D asks sheepishly. Janis can see their hands moving under the cape and sits on the counter so they can see each other. 

“You sure?” she asks. D nods. 

“Alrighty then,” Janis’ mother says. She takes her hair cutting scissors and goes to work, occasionally turning D’s head this way and that to make sure it’s even and looks nice. Long chunks of brown hair fall to the tile around them as she continues. Eventually, D’s hair is all about even with their chin. It frames their round face, and D looks at themselves with a smile. 

“What do you think?” Janis’ mother asks as she brushes some stray hairs off the back of D’s neck. 

“I like it a lot,” D says. “Thank you, Mrs. Ian.” 

“Of course, hon.” 

“Now me!” Janis says eagerly, watching how D’s hair bounces and twirls at this new short length. 

“You?” her mother chuckles. “I don’t remember asking if you wanted a haircut.” 

“But I’m telling you I want a haircut,” Janis responds. “Pleeeeease?” 

“We have to match,” D adds, knowing they have more sway with their friend’s parents than Janis ever could. Janis’ mother rolls her eyes, but pats the stool. 

“Yes!” Janis says, eagerly plopping herself down. She panics a bit as her mom snips off the first chunk and she hears the scissors slicing through her hair. Her mother leaves her hair a little bit longer, but she does lose a good few inches. Janis’ is about even with her shoulders by the time her mother is done. 

“Matching enough for the two of you?” she asks, brushing Janis clean of stray hairs. D and Janis look to each other and nod eagerly. 

“Your hair is so curly, D,” Janis chuckles. 

“Yours is too!” D responds with a giggle. 

Janis’ mom rolls her eyes as they both reach out to tug on each other’s newly short hair and it naturally devolves into playful fighting. She tidies up and goes to grab her camera. 

Janis and D pose against the wall in the hallway, arms around each other and matching smiles on their faces. Janis’ mother snaps a few sweet photos. 

“Alright, you two, to bed with you. Just because you’re on break doesn’t mean you get to stay up all night,” she says when she’s satisfied with what she’s gotten. 

“Fine. ‘Night Mama,” Janis says. 

“Goodnight, baby girl,” her mother replies. She kisses her forehead and sends her off to her room. 

“Goodnight, Mrs. Ian,” D says sheepishly. They get a matching forehead kiss. 

“Goodnight, sweetheart. Sweet dreams, you two.” 

D curls up in the sleeping bag on the floor while Janis gets comfortable in her bed. Molly trots in and curls up at her feet, but it feels… off. Janis tosses and turns, feeling the minutes drag by and by. Sleep doesn’t come. 

Eventually, she flops onto her side to peer off the edge of the bed at her best friend. “Psst.” 

“What?” D groans exhaustedly. 

“Are you awake?” 

“No,” D grumbles. “Whayouwant.” 

“I can’t sleep,” Janis whines. 

D rolls over and squints at her in the darkness. “What do you want me to do about it?” 

“Can we still cuddle even though you’re not a girl anymore?” 

D rolls their eyes and clambers their way out of the sleeping bag. Janis winces at the icky metallic rustling noise it makes, but smiles victoriously as her friend climbs into bed with her. “Goodnight, D.”

“‘Night, Janis.” 

—————

Things are okay until seventh grade. 

Dana’s family adjusted to not having their dad around. It took time, but she and her mom were actually thriving after a few months. D’s mom went back to nursing school and took a job at the hospital, and Dana started a support group composed of kids with absent fathers to help them cope with the new change. Things were weird, but… good. Good weird. 

D flipped back and forth every day (and sometimes hour to hour) on how they wanted to be referred to. Some days are she-days and Dana days. Other days are they-days. Janis cackled the first time they referred to these as D-days. 

They had one he-day about a month ago just to try it. D was anxious. Janis didn’t mention anything, but it was the happiest she’d seen her friend in a long time. 

Regina stopped spending time with Dana. She said they dressed weird and didn’t fit with the group anymore. D actually seemed relieved to be out. Janis was still in, though, and Dana was fine with that. 

Until one brisk March morning. 

Janis is, as always, the first one at school since both her parents work early mornings. It’s cool but not too cold outside today, so she sits on the concrete steps outside the main doors and sketches out Regina’s birthday card. She’s turning thirteen next month. The party is sure to be a big one. Janis can’t tell if she’s excited or completely dreading it. 

She looks up when she hears clicking footsteps on the pavement next to her. Regina is there, surrounded by a flock of the half-popular girls who managed to get into Regina’s good books for today. 

“Janis, I just wanted to tell you that I can’t invite you to my birthday party.” 

Janis frowns in confusion and tucks her pencil behind her ear. “What? Why? I-I’m your best friend.” 

“I can’t invite you because I think you’re a lesbian,” Regina says. “It’s a pool party and there’s gonna be girls there in their bathing suits, I can’t have a lesbian at my party.” 

Fuck. Janis knew telling Regina she had a crush on Rapunzel in that new Disney movie would come back to bite her. She feels a burning behind her eyes and bites her lip to stop it trembling. Don’t be a baby. Not now. 

“I mean, are you a lesbian?” Regina titters. The girls behind her echo her like some sadistic flock of birds. “What are you?” 

Janis feels like she’s going to be sick. Something she’s never felt before is writhing and squirming in her gut. It rises, and rises, and… “I am a space alien and I have four butts!” 

Regina blinks at her for a second. Neither of them are quite sure what to make of what Janis just said in earnest. But Regina breaks first. She bursts out into that fakey pretty laugh that’s all she ever does now. Janis scrambles to grab her things and runs into the building, only letting a sob escape as the heavy metal door slams behind her. 

She debates running to the office to call home and ask to be picked up. But if she leaves, people will notice. People will ask. People will tell Regina. Regina will win. 

She can make it through today. Through this year. It’s already March, she only has about two months left. She can handle that. Even without who she thought was one of her best friends. Forever. 

Janis spends the morning hiding in a sneaky corner in the girls’ bathroom, not able to care if she gets marked absent or tardy in her classes. She doesn’t do anything. Doesn’t sketch or play games on her iPod or do anything. She just thinks. Counting off every time the bell rings. 

She can hear the rabble outside signaling lunch time. A few girls come into the bathroom to touch up their makeup or hide away from the tempting food they’re trying to avoid even though they’re already pencil thin. None of them see her, but Janis sees them. 

“Did you hear about Janis?” one of them asks. 

“Regina’s friend?” the other responds, sounding like she’s trying not to touch her lips together as she touches up some gloss. 

“Yeah.”

“No, what did she do?” 

Janis rolls her eyes. Of course those two-faces immediately assume she’s the one at fault. That she’s done something wrong here. Has she? 

“She’s a lesbian.” 

“A what?” 

“A lesbian. It means she wants to bang other girls,” the first says. 

“Gross!” the other groans. “We have to share a bathroom with her!” 

“I know! She’s probably been spying on us changing in the locker rooms all this time and we were none the wiser!” 

No, I have taste, Riley, Janis thinks to herself. And I don’t even want to bang girls anyway. Well, kiss some, maybe. But everyone wants to do that. Right? 

“Someone should tell the principal. She shouldn’t be allowed to be around other girls.”

“Right? It’s so creepy,” the other girl says. 

Janis doesn’t come out from her spot until she hears their heels clacking off down the hall and the door slamming shut after them. 

She almost doesn’t recognize herself in the mirror. Her blonde hair falls just past her shoulders. Her curls have stretched into more of a loose wave from the damage the bleaching has done to it. Being… forced straight. She looks like a clone of Regina George. 

She wants to claw her skin off beneath the pink polyester dress she’s wearing today. It feels like poison against her skin, seeping slowly into her bloodstream. It itches. It hurts. 

Does everyone know? Janis asks herself as she splashes some cold water on her face and tries to make herself look tough. Does everyone think… that? 

She jumps as someone else comes bursting in. “Janis! Oh, thank god, there you are.” 

“D? What are you doing, you’re not-”

“Have you been to your locker?” Dana asks frantically. 

“No. I’ve been in here all morning,” Janis says, holding herself protectively and looking down at her ballet flats. Despite all of Regina’s best efforts, she hasn’t gotten the hang of heels yet. Maybe she never will, now. 

D looks at her sadly. “You… you should come with me.” 

Janis eyes them suspiciously, but does grab her bag and finally leaves the bathroom for the first time that morning. “Where are we going?” 

“You’ll see,” Dana says with a grim tone. She winds through the hallways until they’re in the science hallway. Janis’ locker is here. 

She can spy it from a mile away. The normally blue metal is covered in neon sticky notes. Janis hesitantly steps closer. 

The post-its say various things. Go away, dyke and Lesbo and Pervert and Creeper. Some crude drawings scatter the mix, of things Janis doesn’t ever want to know. 

They outline something scrawled in Sharpie, directly on the metal. Space Dyke. 

Janis could recognize Regina’s handwriting anywhere. That swirly, excessive, frilly cursive. Janis always had a hard time reading it, but she understands this full well. 

This time, she can’t bring herself to be strong. The tears start to fall as she slowly picks off every little note stuck to the metal. She knew these people weren’t her friends, but for them to hate her this much… 

D stands a few feet behind and watches her, unsure what to do. She isn’t using new pronouns or a different name at school. Everyone thought she and Regina just had a falling out. They’ve never been through something like this themselves. 

Janis pulls the last note off with shaking hands and reads it. We know what you are. Leave us alone. 

She breaks down sobbing, dropping the notes at her feet and running as fast as she can towards the office. 

“Janis!” Dana calls, grabbing their things and running after her. 

The secretary looks very concerned as a crying girl comes bursting into the office at high speeds, rapidly followed by someone else. 

“I need- my mom,” Janis spits out, trying and failing to breathe through her sobs. The secretary nods and gestures to the phone on the desk for students to use to call home in emergencies. 

She passes a box of tissues across the desk as Janis picks up the receiver. Janis takes a few and tries to convey her thanks without speaking, knowing that if she tries she’ll only start crying harder. 

Her hands are shaking so hard she misses the first number of the area code. Her knuckles are white around the receiver and she bites her lip to try to force her body to cooperate with her. 

D gently takes the phone out of her hand. “Let me call. You sit down.” 

Janis wants to protest, but she knows she won’t be able to get across what she needs to in her state. She sits on the itchy seats and tries not to growl at a visitor staring at her. She wipes her eyes with the scratchy tissues. The school doesn’t even have the budget for real Kleenex. The tissues might as well be printer paper for all the good they’re doing for her skin. 

“Mrs. Ian? Uh, hi, it’s D. Um, something… something happened at school. Janis is really upset, she needs picked up.” she can almost make out Dana saying over her loud sobbing. 

Her mother says something on the other end. D absentmindedly raps their knuckles against the granite of the desktop. 

“I don’t really know the whole situation, Mrs. Ian. But it’s bad, from what I’ve seen. She really needs to go home,” Dana continues. “I’ll tell her. Bye.” They turn to see her. “Jan, your mom says she’ll be here for you in fifteen minutes.”

Janis nods and tries to breathe. It doesn’t work. She tries to distract herself from the whirling thoughts inside her head by looking around. Wooden table in the corner. Four chairs. Big windows. It’s nice outside today. That’s where Regina-

She shakes her head to snap herself out of it and looks back to the desk. She jumps when she sees D isn’t there anymore. Her stuff is, but not her. 

“Your friend asked to speak to the principal,” the secretary says, coming around the desk to restock Janis’ tissues and give her a bottle of water. 

“P-principal?” Janis chokes. 

“She said he needed to know something urgent.”

Janis puts her head in her hands. Now she really is going to get kicked out of school. Why would Dana tell on her? Did Janis really manage to lose both of her lifelong best friends in one morning?

She’s just about worked herself to the precipice of another downward spiral when Dana comes back with the principal. “Janis, may I speak to you?” 

Janis wants to say no, but she’s probably already in enough trouble. She stands and follows him back to his office. He sits at his desk and motions for her to sit as well. Janis hesitates before sitting down in the cold plastic chair. 

“Your friend told me something happened this morning. Can you help me fill in some details?” 

Janis shrugs and hugs herself, like if she does it tight enough she might just squeeze herself right out of existence. She sniffles and refuses to look him in the eye. 

“Can you tell me your version of events?” he asks. His voice is gentle, but Janis still doesn’t trust it. 

“I-I-I was sketching out-outside,” she begins shakily. He has to lean across his desk to hear her soft voice. Janis doesn’t care. “Re-Regina came… and… she said she could-couldn’t have me at-at her birthday party.” 

“And that’s why you’re so upset?” 

“Be-because she thinks I’m a lesbian.” 

She finally dares to glance up and sees the shock written across his face. “O-okay. Please continue.” 

“She said there were gonna be girls there in-in their bathing-bathing suits so if-if I’m a lesbian I can’t-can’t come. But I’m not! I-I’m not lesbian, I haven’t been-been watching the other girls! Not-not like that. I swear, please-please don’t kick me out of school!” 

“We aren’t kicking you out, Janis, I just need to know what happened so we can figure out the best course of action. This is a very tolerant school, I’m sure you know. Being a lesbian, even if you were, is not valid grounds for expulsion.” 

“O-oh,” Janis sniffs. “She… told everyone I am. I thought it was a bad thing.” 

“Some people believe it is,” the principal says. “I’m not one of them.” 

“Oh,” Janis says again. 

“Can you keep going? With what happened?” 

Janis nods shakily. “Everyone’s been-been talking about me. Saying I’m a gross lesbian a-and I’ve been peeking on other girls in-in the locker room-rooms. And that I-I want to have… um… with… with-with all of them but I don’t! And-and someone… someone wrote space dyke on my locker.” 

“Wrote what now?”

“Space dyke.” 

“Why would someone do that?” the principal asks. Janis shrugs. 

“Can I- can I go now?” 

“Of course. I’ll be speaking to Regina and some of the other girls this afternoon. Is your guardian coming to get you?” he asks. Janis nods. The principal pulls out a notepad and starts writing frantically as Janis turns and leaves. 

Her mom is waiting for her in the office with her backpack and the books she can’t fit into the little designer thing. Janis bursts into tears anew and runs in for some much needed comfort. 

“Shh, baby girl,” her mother hushes. “Let’s go home and get you calmed down. We can talk about what happened later. It’ll be okay.” 

Janis growls in the back of her throat. How can her mother say that when clearly nothing will ever be okay

ever 

again.

—————

The next couple years are a blur of traumatic experiences for the both of them. 

D finally settled on they/them pronouns and going by D all the time. No more Dana, no more girl. Janis still thinks they’d be happier as a he, but she doesn’t mention it. 

D started having panic attacks when they turned thirteen. They got their first period, and their body started changing in ways they weren’t comfortable with. Nobody knew what to do. 

Nobody but Janis. 

Janis was the only one who could talk them out of their panics. She managed to piece together that D felt like they were running out of time. Neither of them knew what they were running out of time for for a good long while. Until Janis put together that this all started along with puberty. 

D was put on hormone blockers a few months later to delay any further development in areas they weren’t ready for. Lo and behold, no more panic attacks. 

Janis didn’t have quite as easy of a time finding her solution. 

She tried getting in touch with Regina. She texted her desperately saying she wasn’t actually a lesbian and since she wasn’t actually a lesbian she could still be trusted at a pool party. 

Regina never answered. 

Janis cried the entire day leading up to Regina’s birthday. She was finally deemed old enough for social media that year, and her entire Instagram homepage as far as the eye could see was every other girl getting ready for a party Janis could never go to. 

D showed up to rescue her and took her out for ice cream and karaoke. Janis almost managed to forget the party as she begrudgingly belted out Disney songs and listened to D’s one-man performance of Fiddler on the Roof. 

But while everyone eventually forgot about the party, nobody forgot about the rumors. Everyone still gossiped about her in the hallways. In the restrooms. Locker rooms. At lunch. In class. 

Things escalated after a while. Janis knew Regina was the puppet master behind it all, playing the whole school like her sick little marionettes. 

She’d orchestrated some clever story to make herself look like the victim in Janis’ story, so she never had any repercussions for anything. She was free.

Free to tell the football team to use their strength to shove Janis into lockers and trash cans. 

Free to tell the other girls to give Janis a wide berth in the hallways and giggle at her clothes behind their hands and hold their breaths as she walked by so they wouldn’t catch anything. 

Free to tell the nerdy kids who sat behind her in class to jab her with pencils and rig her books so all the papers would fall out when she picked them up and leave cruel notes slipped through the slats of her locker. 

Free to tell anyone who could to re-write space dyke on her locker door whenever the school cleaned it off. Even when Janis got a new locker assignment. Even when she got another. Even when she had to start keeping her books in the office because her having a locker was doing too much damage to school property. They found a way. 

Janis couldn’t take it anymore. She started cutting herself over the summer leading to eighth grade. 

She knew it was bad. She knew she shouldn’t do it. She knew how it was bound to end. She knew the statistics she had learned in health class in sixth grade. 

But she couldn’t stop. 

Something about the burn of the blade being dragged through her pale flesh made the thoughts in her head less loud. For a while, all she had to focus on was the glint of the silver metal in her hand. The vibrant, almost glowing, red of her blood against her pallid skin. Watching it flow into the sink or the bathtub and slowly

slowly

stopping. 

It hurt so bad she couldn’t think about anything else. She decided the pain was worth it. 

She wore long sleeved dresses that went to her knees to hide the marks on her arms and her thighs. When too much scarred over she moved somewhere else. Her stomach, her chest, near her shoulders, her hips. 

She was fine. 

She stopped eating. 

She stopped sleeping. 

She lost weight. 

She looked tired. 

She was tired. 

So tired. 

She found a bottle of sleeping pills in her mom’s bathroom. 

She waited. 

She wrote notes.

She looked at the pills. 

She waited some more.

She took them all. 

Her mom found her. 

That scream won’t ever leave either of them. 

She spent a week in the hospital. 

She got her stomach pumped and her arms stitched up.

She stopped going to school. 

She was sent away to an inpatient intensive counseling facility. 

She hated it.

But it helped. 

When she was deemed to no longer be an active risk to herself, she was sent back home. 

The medicine cabinet was empty. The knives were locked in a cabinet she couldn’t reach. She wasn’t allowed to shave her legs anymore. Her dad’s tools were on a high shelf. The door to her bedroom didn’t lock anymore. 

Her dad looked at her with disgust in his eyes. 

Her mom looked at her with pity in her eyes. 

Her sister looked at her with betrayal in her eyes. 

Janis still needed help. She was kept out of school for eighth grade and started homeschooling with online tutors. She went to a pediatric therapist specializing in juvenile depression and self-harm. 

She discovered art. 

She really liked painting. 

Watching the paint flow across a canvas was much nicer. 

Seeing colors other than red. Other than bright, electric pink. 

She didn’t have friends anymore. 

Only D. 

D was there when she woke up in the hospital. They were there the night before Janis went to inpatient. They came to every visiting session. They cried every time they had to leave. 

They screamed at her. How could she do that to herself? Didn’t she think anyone loved her at all? What was she thinking? 

Janis cried and screamed right back. Called it healing.

D was there the day she was released to take her home. 

D was there to tell her every stupid thing Regina and everyone else got up to at school. Janis didn’t really care. D told her anyway. 

In a strange way, they held each other together. Two broken kids patching each other up bit by bit, and swapping little pieces of each other for themselves in the process. Growing together. 

And they changed, and they healed. 

—-

The real catalyst for everything came when they were thirteen. D finished eighth grade. Janis was in the crowd cheering at the top of her lungs at their graduation. They went out for ice cream with their moms and Janis’ sister on Janis’ last day of homeschool to celebrate. 

Their moms posed the idea there. 

A local Pride parade was being thrown in a couple of weeks. Their mothers thought going might be a good idea for both of them. Help them realize they aren’t alone. 

D agreed to go in a heartbeat. Janis was nervous, wary, but if D was going she just had to. They do everything together. You can’t have one without the other. 

They dressed for the heat and packed a bag of stuff they might need. D did some online research first and provided their moms a very helpful list. 

“Are you excited?” Janis’ mom asks when they’re on the way. 

“Yeah!” D says eagerly. Janis nods and wipes her sweaty hands on her pants. D wore shorts, but Janis still has things she’d prefer to keep hidden. 

It takes forever to find a parking spot, and it’s a long walk to their spots to watch the parade. D holds her hand and drags the both of them to the front so they’re close to the road and can see the whole thing. 

Janis jumps as a local school’s marching band kicks off and leads the whole thing. It’s loud, and colorful, and bright. People dance on floats and in the street. All sorts of things are thrown at them. Janis catches some things and dodges a few others. 

A person in nothing but a tutu and some sort of leather harness comes up to personally deliver them some plastic beads. D happily puts theirs on and almost chokes Janis forcing her into hers. 

Janis has never seen so many colors. So many people. People like them. It’s… amazing. 

The parade eventually comes to an end, and the crowd watching scatters to find various activities and foods and things for sale. Their moms trust them to walk around on their own, as long as D keeps their phone on. They head for a nearby field and wander aimlessly for a while. 

A couple doing the same thing catches their eye. They’re older, maybe in their early thirties. Holding hands. One isn’t wearing a shirt and has visible lines on their chest. The other has bright purple hair, a leather jacket with spikes, big black clunky boots, and heavy, dark makeup. 

They notice Janis and D staring at them after a few minutes and come to see what’s up. Purple hair greets them with a, “Hey.” and they both jump. 

“Sorry! We-we didn’t mean to stare at you!” D says frantically. They both laugh. 

“It’s okay. You get used to it looking like we do.” 

“I like your jacket,” Janis says shyly. The person wearing it chuckles. Janis sees she has a pin saying ‘she/her’ on it. 

“Thanks. You wanna touch the spikes?” she says. Janis nods eagerly, so the woman crouches down to let her gently run her fingertips over her shoulder. 

“Is this your first Pride?” her partner asks. Janis and D nod. “Fun! I was your age when I came the first time.” 

“Are you dating?” D asks. They both nod. 

“Are you?” 

“Eww, no!” D and Janis exclaim at the same time. They laugh again. 

“Friends are good too,” the woman chuckles. 

D is still looking at her partner. Specifically at their chest. They notice the looks and gently bring it up. “These are my top surgery scars.” 

“Top surgery?” D questions. 

“I’m trans. I was born female. Or, assigned female at birth, whatever. I had my breasts removed when I was in college and started my transition to help with the dysphoria.” 

D tilts their head. 

“Dysphoria is… hard to describe. But I couldn’t stand living in a female body. I got really depressed. I probably would’ve… wouldn’t have made it much longer if I hadn’t transitioned.” 

“How… how did you know? That you were all the way trans?” D asks softly. 

“That’s a good question,” they chuckle. “You can call yourself whatever you want. Being non-binary fits under the trans umbrella. But I spent a lot of time thinking about what I wanted my future to look like, and my past and what I wished I could change about it.

“I always kinda dreaded the idea of growing up and marrying a man, having kids and being a mom, things like that. I didn’t have any interest in being an aunt or a grandmother or… a woman. So I started thinking, and really liked the idea of marrying a woman if I got the chance, and being a father, or an uncle or grandpa. And I realized most of my memories with the most hurt from my past were moments where I felt… too feminine. Stuck, kinda. You know what I mean?” 

D nods shakily. The woman reaches out and squeezes their hand. “You have plenty of time to figure out who you want to be, hon. Take some time to explore. It’s okay to flip flop and change your mind all the time. It took this one more than twenty years to come to terms with who he was. The most important thing you can do is try your damndest to love the person you are enough to grow into the person you want to be. You’ll be just fine.” 

D nods again. Janis squeezes their hand too when she sees tears brimming behind their eyes. 

“And it seems like you’ve already got one person in your corner,” the man says. “You can’t control what the people around you do. Finding people like your friend here is really important. I lost a lot of people I really cared about, but finding people who love the real me and getting to love my body and who I am is so worth it. I promise.”

D seems too emotional to speak. Nobody asks them to. Everybody understands. Janis looks back to the woman. “How’d you get your makeup like that?” 

“Loads of practice,” she snorts. “You like it?” 

Janis nods. She’s never seen someone like her before. All the makeup she’s seen has been light and feminine. All she’s been allowed to wear has been pink and natural and dewey and glossy. The woman reaches into her pocket. 

“Here. I’ve never used this before. Consider it a… celebration gift. Something to get you started.” 

Janis opens the fingers she curled around it and sees a tube of lipstick. She untwists the lid and sees it’s the exact same dark purple color the woman is wearing. “Really?” 

“Of course. Happy first Pride, you guys,” the woman says. With a ruffle to their hairs, the couple is off. 

Both Janis and Damian are thinking the same thing. 

I wanna be them someday. 

——————-

D comes out as trans for the second time when he’s 14. They/them pronouns are no more, swapped for he/him. Janis and his mom helped him buy a whole new even more masculine wardrobe. Mostly flannels. Janis got a few too. Sue her, they’re comfy. 

He gets a haircut. Nice and short. Just long enough to still curl on the top, but buzzed everywhere else. A boy’s cut.

Janis shaves the side of her head in solidarity. Again, matching enough for them. But shaving her whole head is a bit much, she thinks. He agrees. 

He also starts experimenting with new names. He decided to stick with D as his first letter. Darius, Dante, Darcy and Darby all lasted about a week respectively. His mom suggested Darwin, which was scrapped almost immediately. 

Janis obviously only suggested the most ridiculous names she could find on baby name websites. Donatello, Delbert, Diesel, Dijon. And, of course, Dick. None of her suggestions were taken. 

It took months and probable hundreds of different names before he found the one that stuck. 

Damian. With an A, because Damien with an E just has the wrong vibes. 

He was Damian. 

Janis doesn’t think she ever saw her friend happier than when he finally got to be Damian. He smiles with his eyes again, something Janis hasn’t really seen in almost five years. He dances and sings and found a local theatre troupe to be part of in addition to all the school shows he’s in. He still gets cast as female roles, but he doesn’t seem so bothered by it anymore. Now that he knows he’s Damian, he’s just… pretending. His femininity is more like a costume he can alter to his will. 

Janis is glad for him. She still doesn’t know what the fresh hell is going on. 

She does think a lot about the woman from the Pride parade. How confident she seemed. How easy it was for her to be her. To be queer. To be happy. She said people stared at her all the time because of the way she dressed and did her hair and makeup. Janis slowly pieces together her own look. 

A jacket she found buried in the attic that belonged to her biological father. She left it hanging on her easel in her bedroom when the inspiration hit her and she started painting the jacket itself. Eyeballs, general swatches of nothing, demons and big bright handprints and even Frida Kahlo on her shoulder after one particularly interesting history class. 

Piece by piece, brushstroke by brushstroke, the jacket comes together. Becomes… hers. 

She buys t-shirts and fishnet tights from Hot Topic with cool designs and bands she’s started listening to. She distresses a few and leaves some plain. She buys denim shorts with spikes on the pockets and gems and frayed hems and puts designs on the backs and so much more. 

A hot day comes in the middle of summer. Janis can’t wear the long pants she usually does to hide the pink scars lining her thighs. She panics and putters around her room to find something she can wear to Damian’s first appointment.

She tries a few dresses, but none are long enough. Her shorts are even shorter. 

She’s about to give up and call her friend to let him know they’ll have to celebrate another time when her hand wraps around the swirly black tights with a design in lace in her underwear drawer. 

She tries them on underneath one of her pairs of shorts. She looks bitchin’. She smiles and grabs a random shirt to go with it and hopes she can make it through the day with her jacket on. Hiding her arms is a whole other monster. 

She runs outside when Damian texts her letting her know he and his mom are waiting for her outside. He’s up in the passenger seat, so Janis slides into the back and buckles herself in. 

“Hi, sweetie,” Damian’s mom greets. 

“Hi, Ms. Hubbard,” Janis says, panting a bit in the heat. 

Damian chatters eagerly the whole way about how excited he is to finally start his hormone therapies, even though it means getting frequent shots. He quite literally skips into the doctor’s office once his mom finds a parking spot. Janis doesn’t blame him. It took almost a year before they got the go-ahead to start hormone replacements. Janis did a lot of googling and found Damian was one of the lucky ones. Some people wait decades. 

Damian is bouncing in his seat in the waiting room a little bit, like a child who can’t sit still. Janis is a little more concerned about what’s about to happen to her friend, but she smiles at his antics and has to run to keep up with him once he finally gets called back. 

The nurse explains roughly what he can expect. To needlephobe Janis, a huge needle going into his poor thigh. But to Damian, it’s everything. Everything begins today. He starts the journey to become who he… is. To get his body to match what they all see him as and what he so desperately wants and needs to be. 

Damian’s entire future is contained in such a small vial. The nurse distracts him as she prepares the needle and the area it’s going into by talking about what he can expect. 

Soreness in his leg, obviously. She tells him it will take a while, but his voice will eventually start getting lower. He won’t have to force it artificially anymore. His body fat will rearrange slightly, again, over a very long period of time. He might even grow facial hair after a few months. 

Janis wonders how long it will take. How worth it this will all feel after three months, six, twelve. But Janis has also seen the hurt her friend has been through. How much he struggled and suffered as a girl. How much pain it brought him. 

She holds hand and his mom holds the other as the needle goes in. Damian’s face pinches briefly at the poke going into his leg, but he looks… relieved. After a single dose he looks like he could get hit by a bus in the parking lot and die a happy man. 

He’s patched up with a bandage and quite literally dances his way out of the establishment. Janis rolls her eyes affectionately and follows after him. His mom stays to get all the information she still needs before rushing to the parking lot after her stray children. 

“How you feeling, hon?” she asks as she slides into the driver’s seat. 

“Amazing!” Damian says. 

“That needle was huge,” Janis says, shuddering at the memory. It didn’t even go into her. 

“I didn’t look at it for a reason,” Damian replies. 

“Y’all want ice cream?” his mom asks.

Damian shouts, “Yes!” so loud Janis’ eardrums rattle. 

—————

Janis goes back to public school in ninth grade. 

It’s a new school, they’re in high school now. A new building. New faculty, some new students. Some old ones too, but she’s hoping either she’s changed or they’ve changed enough that the year will still go okay. Her goal is a month. Anything beyond that is a bonus. 

It’s a new start. 

It’s a nice feeling. 

She dons her new favorite outfit, fishnet tights underneath a dress she painted a design on yesterday to get ready for her first day. She adds her new denim jacket. She started painting it, but it’s still not as busy as she wants it to be. It just needs a little work. 

Her mom drives her since it’s her first day. They stop by to pick up Damian on the way, and he comes prancing down the driveway in all his flamboyant glory. 

His fashion sense actually hasn’t changed all that much since he started physically transitioning. He still wears lots of rainbows, theatre stars, and drag queens on his clothes, they’ve just gotten the more recent additions of flannels and jeans actually purchased from the men’s section. The drag queens are newer too. Damian made Janis watch the entire first season of RuPaul’s Drag Race at their most recent sleepover. Janis still sees all the sequins whenever she closes her eyes. 

Janis’ hands start to shake as soon as she sees the building. She’s been here for orientation and a special event just for incoming freshmen that the seniors put on, but knowing she’s here now for school… it’s different. Knowing there’ll be kids who know her there. Who knew the old Janis. 

She’d like to say she’s a whole new person now. But the truth is, under all her new makeup and the dark roots of her hair that are finally starting to show through the bleach-blonde and her huge jacket is the same petrified little girl in a pink dress that left that day in seventh grade and never came back. 

She’s literally shaking in her boots as she pauses outside the main doors. Damian squeezes her hand. 

“We’ll be okay,” he says softly. We. They’re doing it together. Janis nods and pushes her way in. 

Janis had to come one extra time to get to know the people in the guidance office after they saw her medical history and learned about the two months she spent as an inpatient. They worked some of their guidance counselor magic and got her and Damian the same schedule, and made sure she didn’t have a single class with Regina. They couldn’t do anything about lunch, but Janis isn’t worried too much about that. The cafeteria is big. She’ll find somewhere to hide. 

Damian goes to his locker first since it’s a little bit closer to the front of the school. He dumps his binders for the afternoon inside before following Janis as she tries to remember where her locker is. 

She pauses as she sees it. They haven’t even been in the building for twenty minutes and her locker already says space dyke in bold, black Sharpie. God, why couldn’t people just forget? 

It’s not Regina’s handwriting this time. Someone else did it. Maybe Regina moved on. Found someone else to torment. Maybe this is the work of someone else. 

Don’t get your hopes up. 

She sighs and shakes it off as best she can. Her books for the afternoon get shoved in unceremoniously and she follows Damian, slightly slower than they were going before, to their first period study hall. 

“You okay?” he asks gently. Janis nods and kicks a pebble someone dragged in to the side of the hallway. 

“Yeah. She doesn’t scare me anymore.” 

Damian nods too. “Tell me if anyone bothers you.” 

“You’re not my big brother, Dame, I don’t need you to protect me,” Janis sighs. 

“Oh, bitch, are you kidding? I could never, look at me,” Damian retorts. “But if you need me to tell someone. I will.” 

Janis nods, more an involuntary jerk of her head than much else. “I will.” 

Damian blessedly drops the conversation as he holds the door to their classroom and sits next to Janis at their desks. 

—-

Things don’t fall apart until lunch. 

She and Damian find part of a table in the furthest corner, blocked in by some juniors and seniors. They look at them oddly, for more than one reason, but there’s a group that seems to realize these kids need to be where they are and willingly sit close. Janis hopes everyone in their grade is that mature by the time they’re juniors too. 

They start to relax. Lose some of their hyper vigilance they haven’t noticed they’ve been holding all day. 

And then people around them start chattering. 

One by one, like they’re doing the wave at a sports event. It picks up volume, louder and louder… and then Regina is behind her. 

“Janis? Oh my god, is that you?” 

Janis bristles. Feels the hair on the back of her neck stand up like she’s just walked into a haunted house. She turns around just enough in her spot so Regina is in her line of sight, but not enough to make her vulnerable to any kind of attack. “Yeah?” 

“What are you doing over here, come sit with us. We got the good table in the middle,” Regina says. Janis… laughs. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” 

“What?” 

“We haven’t talked in a year and a half, is what!” Janis cackles. “You ran me out of school!” 

“You totally overreacted, it was not that bad, come on,” Regina huffs. 

Janis can’t believe what she’s doing as she rolls up her jacket sleeves. Regina bristles and stares at the still bright pink marks lining up and down Janis’ forearms. That’s not even close to half of them. “Wasn’t it?” 

Regina recoils in disgust. “On second thought, stay here. Freak.” 

Janis sighs and sits back down, picking at her rubbery pizza and trying to ignore every single person in the vicinity staring at her. 

Part of her wants to stand on the table and yell. Say so what if I used to cut myself? Say you’d do the same if only you knew what she did to me. Stomp and scream and rule the school. 

Another part of her almost said yes to Regina. 

And Janis is violently thrown back in time. 

Back to seventh grade. Before her life fell apart. 

Blonde waves falling down her shoulders. Pink dresses and glittery makeup and lip gloss and too much perfume. 

Following Regina around like a lost puppy. Carrying her books. Doing her bidding. 

Falling head over heels for that blonde girl who somehow had her pinned under her heel and wrapped around her little finger at the same time. 

She can’t stomach anymore. 

Regina 

was

right. 

—————

Janis stumbles around until the end of the day when it’s time to be picked up. She tries not to stare at every girl she sees. 

She takes quick glances. Compares them to the boys in her classes. Who would she rather date? Rather kiss? Rather hug and cuddle and- well. 

She comes to a rather hasty conclusion. Boys are still gross. 

She’d thought, being the mature age of fourteen, that she would’ve gotten over not wanting to be with a boy. Apparently not. 

She consults Damian in art. 

“Do you still like boys now that you’re a boy? Or do you like girls?” 

“I dunno,” Damian shrugs. “I haven’t really thought about it.”

Janis hasn’t either. She started to, she did. Back when Regina first did everything in middle school. Janis definitely had a lot to think about. But she was hurt, and then spent all that time in therapy and decided to put it off until she was better suited to handle such thoughts. 

Nice going, dumbass, now what the hell are you?

“I think… I might actually like girls.” 

Damian nods and pokes at his lump of clay he’s trying desperately to form into an ashtray. “That’s cool.”

“It is not cool! That means Regina was right all along!” 

“So?” Damian shrugs. “She wasn’t right about everything. Like her hair color. Ew.” 

“She’s blonde, what do you mean? You know what, never mind.” 

Damian just shrugs again. “It’s not a bad thing if you are. Don’t let Regina scare you out of it if you think it’s actually who you are.” 

Janis sighs and goes back to her painting. She has a lot to think about.

—-

And think she does. The next month is spent researching and looking and comparing and testing and everything she can think to do. 

She still doesn’t want it to be true, but the more she finds, the more lesbian feels like the right label. She’s still not sure, though.

One thing is definitely true, however, and that is that she likes girls. Even the girl she hates most in the entire world seems… like she’d be a good kisser. Gross. 

Now she has to tell people. 

It’s what Damian did. He realized something, and told his family. It’s how it goes. This isn’t something she can just keep to herself. 

She sits her mom and stepdad down on the couch after dinner that night. Julie’s in her room playing before bed. She can come later. Janis still doesn’t know how to explain this in a way she’d understand. 

“What’s up, sweet pea?” her mother asks kindly. Janis fidgets with her hands and looks down. 

“I… I think… Regina might have been right,” she mumbles.

“About what?”

“I like girls,” Janis says in one quick breath, forcing herself to look up at them. She can see the shock strewn across their faces. 

“You’re a dyke?” her father asks. Janis freezes. 

“Greg!” her mother chides. “Don’t call her that!”

“What, I can’t call it like it is? We’ve raised a dyke, Ettie! Look at her,” her dad insists. Janis looks desperately at her mother. 

“We have raised a girl who likes other girls and nothing more,” her mother growls, standing and stalking over her dad. “Now you leave her alone.”

“Or what?” her father retaliates. 

“Stop it,” Janis begs around a sob. “I-I’m sorry, I-I-I won’t-”

“You’ll shut your trap is what you’ll do,” her dad growls. “And you’ll get out of my house.”

“This house is in my name, you ass,” her mother retaliates. “If anyone is leaving, it’s you. I’m not letting you speak to our child this way.” 

“I’m talking to her the way she needs to be talked to. Do you want her corrupting Julie?!” 

“She’s barely a teenager! She can’t corrupt anyone, she’s not doing anything wrong!”

“Daddy, please,” Janis begs. 

“Don’t you go calling me that now. I clearly didn’t do enough. I’m not your dad anymore.”

“Get. Out.” her mom growls furiously. 

“I’m taking Julie,” her dad insists as he stalks off to pack a few things. 

“Like hell you are!” her mom says. 

“This is your fault, you little freak,” her dad says, pointing a rough finger into Janis’ chest. Janis sobs and tries to step away. Her dad looks at her for a second. Time moves in slow motion. 

He growls, lifts a hand. Brings it down across Janis’ face with as much force as he can muster. Janis gasps as she hears the impact. The pain takes a few seconds to hit her. The hit was hard enough to numb the sensation for the briefest of moments. 

She wails when it does and steps away. She wants to run, but she can’t leave her mom alone with this man who used to call Janis his daughter. 

Her mom swings without hesitation. Evidently she can handle herself just fine. 

“Have you gone crazy, woman?!” her dad yells. “Goddamn!”

“I told you to get out,” her mom says. “You’ll get a second black eye to match that one if you stick around.” 

Her dad spits on the ground near where Janis is cowering before he stalks off without another word or any of his things and slams the front door behind him. 

“Oh, baby girl,” her mom hums desperately, rushing to pull Janis into her arms. Janis tries to be strong for her mom, who seems to have just lost her husband for good, but all she can bring herself to do is cling to her mom and cry into her shoulder like a broken child. 

Broken child. 

That’s all she is.

“Should I call Damian’s mom?”

Janis can only nod.

—————

Janis doesn’t come out to anyone else until she’s almost seventeen. 

Nearly three years spent trying to crush down and destroy any feelings she has for any girl is miserable. 

But she can’t lose anyone else. 

Damian sees the way she looks at some of their classmates. At Regina. 

He knows. Janis doesn’t tell him, but he knows. 

In the time since Janis’ latest incident, he’s come out as gay, too. He said an experience at his arts camp the summer before their sophomore year confirmed the entire thing. 

Janis consoling him after Philip cruelly rejects his Edible Arrangement just feels like par for the course for the both of them at this point. 

They both know. They don’t ask. They don’t tell. 

They can’t. 

—————-

Junior year is almost too much for the both of them. 

It starts out so strong. A few really good days without a single taunt from Regina. Enough for them to hope she’s finally given up some of her grip on the school, eased off on her reign of terror. 

And then 

comes

Cady.

Some part of Janis deep, deep down inside knows she’s going to be an issue. 

Damian knows Janis is in love as soon as he sees the little redhead in the bathroom stall and the way Janis looks at her. 

Some part of both of them knows this won’t end without heartbreak. 

They’re right.

Things start falling apart spectacularly before they even reach winter break. Janis’ plan to have a sneaky spy infiltrate the Plastics and report back has completely backfired. By spring, Cady’s totally brainwashed. Lost. Hypnotized by the pink sequins and popularity. 

Janis hasn’t cried this hard since seventh grade. Not even when her stepdad left. 

Damian holds her together with one hand and putters the Jazzy home with the other. Well, technically he drives to his house. But it’s always felt like a second home to Janis. 

His mom gives her a good squeeze and gentle advice before shooing them up to Damian’s room with the promise of milkshakes to help lift their spirits a little. 

Janis disassociates and sips at her cookies and cream milkshake all through Mulan. She’s lost track of how many times she’s done exactly this. Sat cuddled under bed covers with Damian and watched this exact movie on this ancient laptop. In all their various forms over the years. 

She cries some more when the movie ends and she doesn’t have anything to distract her from her sadistic thoughts. 

Damian holds her close. He cries a little too. They talk. Damian refuses to let her sleep in the sleeping bag on the floor in her state and aggressively spoons her until they both drift off dreaming of happier times. 

And those times do come. 

The clouds part. 

So does Regina’s spine.

It helps, but not as much as Janis thought it would. 

The biggest change is Cady. She comes storming into the gym at Spring Fling in her Mathletes uniform and Janis knows in that moment that Cady has her heart and Janis would happily break it for her. 

Janis stares as Cady wins Spring Fling Queen and holds that stupid plastic crown in her hands and gives the most beautiful speech she’s ever heard. Damian gasps behind her as she snaps the crown into as many pieces as she can and tosses them to anyone within reach. Regina, Gretchen, Karen, even Kevin. Damian gets one. 

And then Cady is in front of her. The last piece is still in her hands. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Janis says, her chest aching. Cady reaches up on her tippy toes and puts the rest of the crown on Janis’ head. Janis flashes back to ten years ago. Playing princess with Damian. 

It feels even more real now. 

Cady apologizes. They dance. They leave early and go get pancakes. They cry and apologize some more. 

And for the first time since September, Janis has hope for her future. 

—————

Janis still thinks about those moments well into her adulthood. She doesn’t know that she’ll ever stop. That the moments will ever leave her.

She doesn’t know that she wants them to. 

She and Cady get married when they’re 23. Damian finally gets his top surgery later that year, and has two of his favorite people there to support him through his recovery. 

Cady is the one who goes with him to finally get his name and gender changed on all his important documents. She throws a party when it’s all over, a sort of late ‘gender reveal’ with a blue cake and confetti and streamers. 

Aaron comes. 

He and Damian get together when they’re 24. It’s a beautifully ironic thing, that Janis and Damian wound up with who they did instead of it being the two of them like it always was and Cady and Aaron together. 

Cady and Janis become mothers when they’re 28. 

Damian is the best uncle to their twins. Janis doesn’t know that she’s seen him happier than when he’s cuddling with his boyfriend and his nieces. 

The girls are flower girls in his and Aaron’s wedding. 

Damian and Aaron adopt three children when they’re 36. 

They celebrate Pride as one huge family. The kids all love the parade and seeing other kids from queer families they can play with. Seeing other people like themselves. 

Cady takes the twins to a craft setup for younger kids. Damian’s youngest goes with them while the oldest two follow Aaron to get food. Janis and Damian are left wandering around on their own for a little while. 

Damian taps Janis and points surreptitiously at some kids staring at them. Janis smiles widely and follows him over to them. They crouch down to their height. 

“Hi,” Damian greets kindly. “What are your names?” 

Janis knows in that moment.

They made it.

—————

thank you for reading!! 

i think i would be remiss if i posted this without acknowledging that our trans and non-binary siblings are under attack in my country right now. there is no LGB without the T and if you think otherwise. piss off. if you can do anything at all, please look into how to support queer communities in your local area. 

also, while i am non-binary, i don’t ID as trans. i based this off of some of my own experiences and those of a few of my trans friends i’ve been blessed to witness over the years. and also just… what i think it was like for these two growing up. it’s my own personal headcanon. if your journey was different, that’s okay. if your destination is different, that’s okay. queer people are not a monolith. we’re all walking this rainbow road together, but we’re all our own folks. 

anyway. rambling over lol, happy pride and thank you again for reading!!

lots of love,

ezzy

[gilmores-glorious-blog]

oh boy oh boy it’s episode six time!!

- the only context i have going into this is that my friend who already watched the episodes said they made her upset so i am. Afraid.

- gorgeous opening shot with the lighthouse ngl

- ned who the fuck are you and also stay the fuck away from my boys

- okay but the line “my love, i’m still a musician at heart” goes so hard

- uh oh izzy and ed interaction

- y’know this is as close to closure as they’re gonna get tbh

- archie’s insane i love her

- fang sipping tea and being bitchy <3

- sad that the party was a lupete wedding :/

- godDAMNIT the twink is back

- god i love this crew so much

- lmao ed giving children knives (also taika’s daughters!!)

- “we own an inn” WHAT IF I SOBBED AND CRIED AND LOST MY MIND

- “minor prince, pirate queen who conquered all of china” i love her so much

- OH MY GOD WEE JOHN AND IZZY DRAG BONDING 😭😭😭

- i love that they’re all chill with ed now

- they’re all so hot and fun and goofy and i love them

- FUCKING SLAY KRISTIAN

- ngl i was very scared when izzy first came on singing but OH MY GOD.

- i forgot how good of a singer con is i am LOSING MY MIND

- oh my god oh my god oh my god

- the polycule dancing!!

- NO DONT INTERUPT IZZY >:(

- ed immediately pushing stede behind him at the first sign of danger 😩

- i love stede’s face when ed says “i only hang out with cool pirates”

- AHKSTKGKSJAJKSJS PROTECTIVE ED

- “no no no it’s me you want it’s me you want” what if i lost my entire mind

- “whatever this is it’s just going to turn me on” season one izzy could NEVER

- lmao didn’t even process that pete and lucius weren’t there they were just off fucking i guess

- “twenty four hours of freaky uninterrupted love” good for them.

- ed and izzy’s reactions to torture are so nonchalant what if i just. *psychoanalyses them*

- “i’m just doing it for the lolz” OH MY FUCKING GOD

- “maybe we just tell their stories.. and in a way isn’t that the best revenge?”

- please can these pirates mutiny against ned

- hellkat maggie my love <3

- stede being badass we love to see it!!

- “where’ve you been?” “we got engaged!” “aww i love that for you!!”

- okay i hate ricky but also he serves so much cunt

- lmao this ned plotline ended quickly

- this is the sexiest stede has ever been holy shit

- ed you gotta fuck him now

- oh my GOD did stede just refer to ed as his “friend” i—

- listen i know ed doesn’t like this and now stede has trauma but god that was badass

- they’re gonna fuck now i feel it in my bones

- AHAKFKYJSJSKD YES STEDE GRAB HIM BY THE COLLAR AND PUSH HIM AGAINST THE WALL ITS WHAT HE DESERVES /pos

- not the fucking cut to black 😭😭

- the crew singing along to izzy in the credits <3

- lmfao fang has a goat now (but he finally got a pet!!)

- god that episode was PERFECT. oh my god. i’m just. oh my god.

[aachria]

omg new chapter jst dropped im still reading i jst finishdd read coins letter and man i already love him sm

Like (spoiler alert ig if anyone's on tumblr before reaching the chapter???))

Hes so so so so funny and and :(( hes so dad figure coded

"Not even the great pirate era smh 😕" so real for that boo

ALSO ALSO ED AND COIN SPENDING THE TIMESKIP TOGETHER IS ALSO SOMETHING I PREDICTED Ed is gonna be such a badass. Also the line that goes "wherever you are, ill find you" makes me feel like you might legit make ed have both the coin training arc and be on the execution stand and i have never been more excited for something because i feel like if you do that we might get a luffy pov 🤭🤭🤭

Him going around calling ed his kid made me so happy. Guess ed wont have to worry abt getting too close to whitebeard now that they have their own found family dad "You’re probably something to brag about so I wanted a head start." Ed deserves to be bragged about 🗣‼️‼️‼️

him immediately saying that if rayleigh says his name is a dick joke hes lying is so sibling coded (and rlly zoro and ed coded i feel)

"And no matter what — what you’re fighting for right now, what your morals are, how shit you think your personality is, any of that bullshit — you couldn’t possibly disappoint me. " i cried, i sobbed, i shoved my head in my pillow and screamed.

And and "Just remember you’re everything, everything is going to be fine, and I’m gonna help you anyway I’m capable." :((( hes so cool i love him fr

"PLEASE do not prove me wrong on that one oml. I mean make your own choices slay queen pussy boss" hes the best. Friendship ended with Ed, Coin is my favorite self insert oc now.

"Pick you up later kiddo" FATHER??? bro is not only ed's dad hes my dad too now. Jst. *takes him and runs away*

I read the letter so many times i should probably get to the rest of the chapter this is gonna get long im srry in advance for yapping sm 😔

Glad we might have a reasonable explanation for teach knowing ed because that shit was worrying

The more i learn abt coin the more i want him as my father :/

The crew thinking ed might leave them makes me even more worried abt the timeskip. Eds so relatable hitting a lil too close to home w the attachment issues codependency line

ik i probs said this before but goddamn do i love the way you portray the strawhats and their dynamics

They're finally talking abt the convo ed and luffy had and the new world and im honestly hopeful abt this, without ace at the execution stand and, again im jst assuming atp, ed taking his place marineford might go way differently. Honestly them still being able to somewhat joke around makes me feel better. At least when they get separated it'll play into what they wanted to happen and what they were planning to do

OMG OMG OMG SABO SABOOOOO MY BABY OMG WHEN I TELL YOU I SCREAMED WHEN I READ THAT HOLY SHIT

Thank you once again for blessing us with this amazing chapter, i will be off to reread it a dozen times now.

Coin is my specialist of guys and so sweet and lovely I just ADORE that parental figure-shaped man.

The way writing a Luffy POV would kill me. My man has no internal dialogue what the hell would I write for his silly goofy ass???? (I say this but I absolutely will write Luffy POV at some point, oneshot or not.)

I wonder if Coin works like an anti-Whitebeard shield. Like does his cool dad/uncle energy cancel out the daddy issues aura????

Tfw your kid is SO MUCH to brag about you gotta start before they even exist just to even hope of reaching an adequate amount of bragging. My man has that unconditional love in him where the dog should be.

The fear of abandonment came free with your SSSBMTY subscription.

[bloodpen-to-paper]

Met Gala 2023 Presented By Me

With this year's theme being "in honor of Karl Lagerfeld", a fashion designer whom I'm learning from the fashion community is "ew", lets see what we got:

~The Models~

-Rihanna being fashionably late, wearing an egg?-like top that opens to reveal a simple yet beautiful dress (she's got a baby bump!); the "no shit" was iconic honestly

-Jared Leto fursuit (its cause he was dressing as Lagerfeld's cat)

-Harvey Guillen coming through with a lovely floral suit, I'm not usually one for light pink but his was very pretty

-Who let Lil Nas X have access to the arts and crafts box (but he looked stunning, the mask was gorgeous and he's got more confidence than most to pull off what I'm now calling a Full Bedazzle)

-Kristen Stewart going full butch queer, the eyebrows and hair were rugged inspired and most didn't like it but I think that was the point?

-Pedro Pascal and his knee against the world (as well as spreading the red is superior agenda cause it is)

-^ but with Salma Hayek cause holy shit this is the red agenda

-Bryan Tyree Henry continuing to remind me how much my taste in men has improved over the years because he is so fucking fine ANYWAY-

-Lizzo giving me feminine gender envy despite the odds

-Janelle Monae doing a Janelle Monae as is customary (I'd love to know what the inspo was for her if so let me know!)

-Bella Ramsey you are so gender thank you (and they served too, the Thom Browne suit with the white accents is simple yet very classy)

-Every year I give one (1) free pass for a man to wear a standard suit, this year goes to Ke Huy Quan because I couldn't say anything bad about him if I tried (at least he had some style, the fingerless gloves were cool)

-Obligatory Gwendoline Christie was there and existed comment by me because I am in love and I am not ashamed of it

-Florence Pugh's fit had mixed reactions, the shaved head, headdress and white dress look were really good but I think the way the dress came out had people not fully digging it, I can understand but I'll appreciate it nonetheless

-Anne Hathaway in all her fuzzy glory (the hair's a beehive on a very felted dress but like it worked? marks for originality and being able to pull it off)

-Loved Stephanie Hsu's bedazzled suit, won't be able to stop thinking about it actually

-Tems was stunning, I'm a huge fan of the floating leaves design we need more nature-inspired looks

-Olivier Rousteing and Jeremy pope slaying with their "Karl who?" and cape apparel

-Gotta shout out Yara Shahidi for going with something unique, the pearl's color palette works surprisingly better than I expected with the gold (personally I would have more gold trim in the top half but that's just me)

-Let Lady Gaga's outfit for the Met Gala this year be a lesson in misinformation because the pictures circulating Tumblr are not in fact from the 2023 Met, she didn't attend (it is a stunning outfit though)

-Jenna Ortega looking almost like a dapper pirate in the absolute best way possible the gender envy the style I am going insane

-Doja Cat living up to her name (Cats should take notes honestly the makeup was really good. She also kept answering reporter questions by meowing. Because she's Doja. Anyway.)

-Anok Yai's dress reminds me of those ornate beaded lampshades, I wonder if that's where she/her designer got the idea

-Emily Blunt giving me gay panic once again WHY IS SHE SO GORGEOUS (she's got a giant fucking bow tie that's what clowns wear why is she able to pull it off this is so unfair)

-Conan Gray looked like an actual prince I am obsessed

-I saw someone said Cardi B was giving goth Barbie and that is honestly the best way to describe it

-Yung Miami having a beautiful look cause her outfit was underrated this year

-I thought Emily Blunt and Bryan Tyree Henry were all I had to worry about and then Julia Garner came in with a steel chair

-Ella Fanning's look captivating me specifically

-And cause I can't comment on every person or we'd be here all day, go check out the underrated outfits from Amanda Seyfried, Alton Mason, Glenn Close, Sora Choi, Ava Max, Jessica Chastain, Taika Waititi and many more!

~Final Thoughts~

-The palette this year was very black and white... literally. Lots of outfits in black, white, or both. I'm not really into the fashion community so I wouldn't know but I'm guessing its a signature theme of Lagerfeld's? Let me know! I'm always down to learn more about other communities and their history

-I'm also assuming Lagefeld's got a thing for flowers cause there were a lot of flowers imbedded into the outfits, they looked lovely~

-As well as long flowy dress/coat tops cause there were a lot, and I loved how people mixed it in with the flowers. Lots of the men did it this year and it looked fantastic

-Speaking of, I'm proud of the men for actually dressing up this year omfg its insane how many male celebrities will go to a literal fashion event and pull up with nothing but a plain ass suit and though most of them this year did wear suits, there was much pizazz. Like, actual life put into those outfits. So yeah, you love to see it

-Overall, a very nice Met Gala. The crazy stuff came from the usual people who go all out, and we got plenty of highlights from people who embraced the theme, with the occasional unique look to really stick it out

Thank for reading and see you all next fashion event!