#gotta see if it would make sense
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what if Veilguard but Addie is Rook
#well in this timeline varric DEFINITELY doesnt survive lol#death by angry dads#what do you MEAN you got our daughter involved in this what the FUCK varric#we ask you to chaperone one (1) time...........#my ocs#my art#i def wont be doing this for my first playthrough but. on a replay.... maybe 👀#gotta see if it would make sense#if not then maybe have an addie-adjacent mc at least? and/or bend time to make her older#(..........i just really wanna play as adriel some day LOL)#no but fr depending on how veilguard goes she might just be a candidate if she were older#bc i can imagine her getting in contact with either veiljumpers or the lords of fortune via merrill or isabela respectively#& she would def have interest in both
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You're version of Elizabeth is really sassy lol
At the end of the day, she’s still Michael’s little sister
#ask reply#seeing baby is so sassy I gotta believe in some part that’s Elizabeth’s personality coming thru#Makes sense to me in a troubled family the one daughter would be fussy#I think she’s good though I never like the narrative she’s spoiled or evil#she’s just a normal little girl who wants attention and to be loved#ALSO she probably stands up to Michael a lot#just cause Michael was a bully so in return she’s rude back to him#a fair trade I’d say pff#I’ll not take Elizabeth slander ever 😤
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LEON
LEON YOUR EYEBALLS
#art#ride kamens#ride kamens spoilers#ride kamens episode 14 spoilers#can't believe i made a joke about it being his eye color AND THEN#i did see his updated sprite before i got to 13 but i didn't even notice it at first...#at least he also got a funky little face marking to go with it#shine on you super shitsuji!!!!#anyway I AM FINALLY CAUGHT UP#on main story anyway i haven't played the tower emblem event yet :')#but man i am loving this game#i was not expecting it to be a full-on mystery! with intrigue!#who is lying! who is telling the truth! who THINKS they're telling the truth but isn't!#punctuated by the most delightful nonsense like the unbreakable magic superhero covenants#where you gotta touch rings in the magical wedding chapel dimension that we teleport to sometimes to talk to our dead dad#(OR IS HE???????)#NO IT'S GREAT (and it does make sense in context i just love it)#still 50/50 on yellow beyblade man secretly being our dad but i can't get into theories now i don't have enough tags#man this really has the essence of what i love about rider ❤️#so far i do think agata is my favorite#but then there's leon...#let me put it this way: i would tell agata a hard truth about himself if i thought he needed to hear it#but there is no amount of money in the world you could pay me to say anything even slightly mean to our sweet leon#LET 👏 HIM 👏 HENSHIN 👏#WAIT SHOOT is it too late to redo my survey answers i need to demand that i be able to put hats on leon
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The Lamb is malicious in a funny way and the Goat is funny in a malicious way. No, I will not elaborate.
Anyway, everyone give thanks to the Lamb for interrupting what was sure to be a very boring and patronizing PSA from their grouchy cat hubby. Truly, they are doing God's work. Granted, the Lamb canonically is God now, so, uh. Mostly they're just doing their own work.
Speaking of their grouchy cat hubby, yes this is absolutely still Narilamb, Narinder is 100% into his goofy-ass spouse always no matter what and we all know it, he just wasn't expecting his brand new adopted kid to share the same single goofy-ass brain cell as the Lamb. :)
#fanart#comics#cult of the lamb#cotl#narilamb the goat AU lmao#cotl narinder#cotl lamb#cotl goat#did i look up a photo of billy the kid to base the goat's outfit off of?#i plead the fifth your honor#for real tho guys#rams and lambs are for sheep#for goats you want bucks and billies#or if you're afabing your goat - does and nannies#(tho to be fair ram IS sometimes accepted for male goats also? instructions unclear on that front tbh)#also don't worry - i am never gonna be all YOU GOTTA USE THESE TERMS OR YOU'RE DUMB AND BAD#it just kinda makes me giggle when i see mixed up animal deets#don't even get me STARTED on cat deets tho lmao#if i had a nickel for every time i saw a fanfic writer give narinder a knot#i would have two nickels#which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice#at least the one where he was a wolf instead of a cat because the author didn't KNOW he was a cat made sense LOL#yeah i'm over here outing all the lemon fics i read idgaf#if you know which fics i'm talking about you can't even judge me anyway cuz we both been at the same devil's sacrament#i should go to bed
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Having the Pool Dream again, handsome?
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#mdzs au#MDZS disco elysium au#[Pain Threshold - Formidable 13]: Endure it.#I am once again putting my brain ramblings on display to give me a bit more time to finish the comic this is based off of#I promise this will make sense in context. Maybe.#Disco AU gives me the opportunity to explore the idea of 'what if wwx and lwj were even *more* neurotic and haunted?'#LWJ absolutely would have repetitive nightmares about wwx with the themes of inevitability and helplessness.#Sometimes its him dying as wwx stands by. Sometimes it is him - unable to move as wwx slowly fades away.#Haunted by the past....Lost to the pale tides of mourning. Welcoming the pain just to feel the memory nearby.#See you all tomorrow for the Real Comic (manifesting it by saying it over and over again)#side note: I think wwx would be a great lifeguard. He would love heckling teens and helping out kids and old folks.#Goofy but takes the health and safety aspect of his job very seriously.#There's gotta be an AU for that out there....right?
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So, today my husband said, "Some people think Shanks is a radial leftist, but I think he's the most centrist character in the show. Dragon fills the role of the radial leftist/anarchist that people often attribute to Shanks."
And, huh, yeah. People do often talk about Shanks like he's an anarchist, but he's really not. I've always said that Shanks is a mediator, keeping a tentative peace between the pirate tribes and the government until the time comes wherein the One Piece can be claimed and the mysterious consequences can happen, but that means he is effectively playing the part of a centrist—straddling the fence, as it were. The key difference, I think, is that Shanks knows for certain that change is coming in the form of a rubber deity, and he is trying to guide it into place. All his work is done behind the scenes with very little violence if he can help it.
Now, it's easy to assume that Shanks' plans involve the complete dissolution of the government as it presently stands; that he is simply using his power & influence to mitigate harm for the many until the "real fight" can begin (and, with him having recently decided to chase the One Piece, now it has), but that might not be the case (and, even if it is the case, a lot of centrists use "mitigating harm for the many" as a reason not to take action against some truly heinous acts). The reality may be that Shanks doesn't see the need for the total collapse of the government, or perhaps he knows something about it that we don't (i.e. because he might be of Celestial Dragon blood). I don't really believe this is the case because, as far as I'm aware, Shanks hasn't ever shown any real support for the World Gov but he has shown, time and time again, that he believes in dreams, in people's personal willpower, and in the ability of anyone to become strong and change the future. But the truth is that we can't know his intentions for certain without Oda giving us more information, so my husband's assertion that Shanks is a centrist makes some sense.
In particular, Luffy is what makes this theory interesting: slap him in between Dragon and Shanks, and there's a very real dichotomy between the two "fathers" in his life. See, Luffy idolises Shanks and thinks of him similarly to a father, but he might realise as time goes on that he can't be like Shanks; he might realise that Shanks' ideals will only carry him so far. After all, what good is it to be a pacifistic when your enemy is a powerful government that is comfortable with mass murder?
(My rebuttal is that Luffy is the only one who can be like Shanks. He is effectively Shanks' dream: Shanks wants to be strong enough to do all the work himself, to suffer all the pain himself, and while he is one of the strongest men in the world, he simply can't do that; what he can do is only achievable through the support he has at his side. Meanwhile, Luffy has close support in his crew, and he has the Gum-Gum Fruit! He can literally become a godlike figure and shape the world around him! He can do everything that Shanks wants and needs and, as sure as I am that Shanks wishes he could have done it himself—I'm thinking back to his days with Roger here—he knows that it was never meant to be him.)
This is where Dragon comes in. Dragon, in direct contrast to Shanks, uses violence as a tool whenever he can. He's all about the greater good, for lack of a better term. His thinking is along the lines of, "People are suffering now and we can help, and we have no qualms in forcibly dismantling a government that uses slavery, genocide, and imprisonment to control its populace. We don't wait for the right time to act, we simply act." Do I think Shanks would approve of Dragon's goals? Yes. Do I think he would approve of Dragon's means in achieving those goals? No, but mostly because Shanks is very self-sacrificial and tries to take whatever suffering is necessary for change onto himself, relying only on his small, personal crew, whereas Dragon is happy to let other people martyr themselves for the rebel cause. He lets a small, amnesiac child join them, for crying out loud—something Shanks would never do, not even if the child proved very capable.
If anything is to come from this difference of ideals, I think it's that Luffy will learn from both of them and find his own way to the One Piece and into the world waiting beyond. Why? Well, because Luffy is all about freedom, and no one on the side of Dragon or Shanks is truly free. As for the world itself, it's hard to predict what will happen after Luffy's done with it because it's pretty dependent on Oda's philosophy. For instance, Oda seems to approve of monarchies, which is not something I would personally imagine remaining in a world without a governing body—but, hey, what do I know?
Of course, we all know that the true centrist in the show is undeniably Garp. He will let real, undeniable harm befall those he cares about in order to maintain the status quo, or to stop the government from toppling because [gasp] that would be the worst thing ever! He's a man who believes the government is essential and joins up in order to change it from the inside, only to fall short of his own expectations because he won't stand up when it matters most. Not even for the sake of his beloved grandson.
#i haven't put these thoughts together in the best way but i just needed to get them OUT THERE#bearing in mind that neither myself or my husband are completely caught up in OP#we're on Whole Cake Island#but YES i still believe luffy will turn down being the pirate king for one reason or another leaving buggy to claim the crown#because let's face it: buggy has tripped into power roles so many times#and he was “overlooked” for the role of king (mostly because of his own self-worth issues/being intimidated by shanks' sheer potential)#so it would make sense for him to become king! that's his dream: recognition as he finally stands side-by-side with shanks. equals at last#(and yes i do believe that buggy looks up at shanks so much that he would need to get ABOVE shanks in stature to finally see them as equals#or something like that#anyway.... this was a long one.#(guess who's ADHD prescription finally got filled!? the med shortages are killing me. my brain is happy when i have my meds.)#somehow this became a “fuck you garp” post lol#i love garp tho#one piece#one piece meta#shanks#monkey d. luffy#monkey d. garp#monkey d. dragon#also shanks & pride is a super interesting combo that i must explore one day#shanks doesn't have a fruit—none of his crew do. neither did any of roger's crew. there's gotta be a reason for it#but what if—what if that reason was simply pride?#(that would make him a good match for mihawk)
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I feel like ? I gotta remind people it’s ok to unfollow a blog when it upsets you in any way >> like if I ever do that sure, you can let me know if it was anything I did personally I’d appreciate it but if you just don’t enjoy something it’s ok to unfollow ;w; can’t stress enough how important it is to put your mental health first 👌
#pix habla#fnaf#✨💖 even if you don’t like frogs and I post about frogs does that make sense#i see some yall not liking some of the stuff I draw and just kinda wonder ? why you still follow lol#i won’t take it personally#even if it’s a mutual heck I’ve even told my friends to unfollow if they ever need a break from my blog =w=👌#because It’s nothing personal >>#i used to ok so funny story xD I used to follow a friend in middle school on social media#and we were good friends but had nothing in common in what we posted about =w=#like she loved Beatles fanfics (don’t ask do not ask idk I didn’t read past the titles)#and i loved sonic :v#and like#thats aigh ? you don’t gotta ? follow a blog that doesn’t bring joy no matter if you’re close or not#i would honestly hate it if I’m making anyone upset or unhappy#so yeyeyeye I’ve said this before in other fandoms but like >>)✨✨💖 put 👏 your mental health 👏👏👏 FIRST ALWAYS👏#Stay safe y’all ✨👌 have fun be free#we’re all just… sitting here… online 😔 ain’t nothing to it
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sequel to this ramble cause the way james talks bout the reduced cherik scenes throughout the xmen films in this video is making me want to kill people. 'we'll always have paris darling' what if we all blew up.
#xmen#xmen first class#xmen dofp#xmen apocalypse#xmen dark phoenix#cherik#snap chats#im gonna be sick ive rewatched this like five times#IM STILL PISSED AWF AND THEN HEARING HIS COMMENTARY ABOUT IT OUUUUGGHHHH#OOOH WHAT IF I THREW ROCKS#LIKE WHAT THE HELL WAS CUT. aside from that gorgeous 'where are you doing' scene in first class ofc BUT WHAT ELSE#im forced to believe there was a make-up and/or hate sex scene in dofp because wdym they were worried about censorship#LIKE WHAT. WHAT DID THEY CUT. CAUSE CENSORSHIP OVERSEAS IS ONLY FOR EXPLICITLY QUEER THINGS INNIT#maybe paris can be our always i hate it here NO I LOVE HOW THE PARIS BIT IS EVEN /THEIR/ COPE#LIKE PLEAAAAASSE im throwing up. maybe if i draw cherik ill feel better#on the real its genuinely so sad. like even outside of shipping this is still art being reduced#and what we have is still good but the thought that it coudlve been BETTER ...#again their connection is already good from what we have in the final but just ... the lost emphasis of it all if that makes sense#ESPECIALLY outside of first class and dofp- like their relationship really is so sparse in DP and apocalypse its so sad#i think what makes it esp sad is how upset james is about the cut material like its so nice that hes so invested in their relationship too#and its just gotta be so. Excuse Me What when youre told 'hey so your characters cant having a deeper relationship or we're fucked'#'even though the relationship between these two is one of the most fascinating aspects of this generation of xmen films'#is it so hard to want to see like .. even just an intimate 'friendship'. like would it be so bad to see them be so heartfelt#or even just bein a bit silly. or hell ill take them fighting again ANYTHING I BEG YOU the humanity between them is so important#LIKE PLEASE im gonna cope and seethe forever i fear#and when he said 'i thought 'its probably the last time we get to do this to each other'' :((((((((((((((((((((( shoot me#at least we'll always have paris ....
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reading the boba fett junior novels as a kid: mace windu is the bad guy!!!! >:(((
reading the boba fett junior novels as an adult: jango fett i'm coming for your fucking kneecaps
#the fact that he left his son with posthumous orders to seek out people he knew to be dangerous and cruel#with the implication that he KNEW these people would try to harm/use/kill boba#so that they would destroy boba's sense of trust in others and make him more cold and self-reliant#jango fett seeing that his son is innately kind and trusting and being like ''i gotta do something about that tbh :/''#THIS MAN LEFT HIS SON A CORRUPTION ARC IN HIS WILL#boba fett#jango fett#boba fett junior novels
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what i love about the Famous Actor Natori Shuuichi of it all is that...it's not just that he's famous and therefore widely recognizable wherever he goes. like yes that is very funny because he was an exorcist before he became a famous actor, which means he CHOSE, on purpose, a day job that would make it harder to hide his double life/secret identity from the hordes of his adoring public, but it's more than that. it's not just that he's famous, it's that he's famous specifically for being an ACTOR, aka a person whose job it is to dissimulate, to make believe, to inhabit roles and emotions other than his own. like he decided he was going to become as visible as possible (which again was literally not necessary! he could have gone into any other career for his day job!!) but in such a way that everyone would see him but no one would see him - they would just see his various made-up personas, including the Famous Actor Natori Shuuichi persona. i can't decide if he's a genius or if he just made so many absurd decisions that they canceled each other out and circled back around to working out. he's either playing 9-dimensional chess or he's eating the pieces. too soon to say.
#the other thing i love about it is that in a very real sense it's his actor day job that is his alter ego#being an exorcist is his normie job. he's just a famous celebrity on the side#which isn't that uncommon in secret identity setups but it's still very funny#natsume's book of friends#natsume yuujinchou#natori shuuichi#natsuyuu meta#my posts#f#i think probably the actual answer is that acting was a very natural career choice because he already masks so extensively#both to hide that he can see things other people can't (and that youkai exist and that he exorcises them)#and to hide what he's really feeling so that no one can use it against him#so if it's already something he has to do & he's good at it...why not have someone tell him exactly how to do it & get paid for it?#and the other part of the answer is that most ppl don't go into acting assuming they'll get famous. the fame was a side effect#so each decision as it was being made probably made perfect sense. but put them all together#and you have this hilarious assortment of elements that seem to directly contradict each other#okay also i would be remiss if i didn't mention the other possible answer which is that the attention came first and was unavoidable#and the acting developed from the need to protect himself from the attention that he was going to be attracting no matter what he did#because he's so beautiful. and (in the exorcist world specifically) because he's the last of the natori#the more i talk about it the more i'm like no becoming a famous actor was the only path that made any sense for him lol#1) he's gonna be watched no matter what bc he's him -> gotta figure out how to hide his secrets -> learn to act as self-defense#or 2) he's got secrets -> he's gotten a lot of practice hiding them -> hey you could make a career out of this!#all roads lead to actor natori shuuichi. and since he's beautiful...all roads lead to FAMOUS actor natori shuuichi#i love it when i ramble so much in the tags that i end up contradicting my own post lol#he's neither thinking ten steps ahead nor is he irrational. he's simply making sensible individual decisions#that follow logically from what is available to him and what his priorities are
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some more episode 7 stuff! Mal's UM poster is being uncooperative, so here's some dumb shit in the meantime.
I have been genuinely trying to draw his OB better, but it's hard. :( why does he hate me.
#art#long post#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#honestly the scale freckles are my favorite part of his design#light-up horns and tail a close second#hey twst show me the phantom i want to see BIG INK DRAGON#anyway#my theory will be that baby silver gave the bracelet to lilia until proven otherwise#because it would be CUTE#okay look it was in his backstory tin it would make SENSE#brb gotta get more red yarn for my corkboard
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ID LOVE TO SEE YOUR HUMAN RED GUY BTW
well gosh if you're gonna be so enthusiastic about it sure. here's a drawing i did of him a while back. if you really want i'll show you the others but ah, im shy.
#I KNOW HE'S BASIC I KNOW HE'S REAL BOILERPLATE OK. YOU DONT GOTTA TELL ME#my dhmis postings#dhmis red guy#me art#he can see just fine btw#he's like a cartoon emo kid alright#he can see fine#ALSO HE'S A NATURAL REDHEAD. HE HAS TO BE OKAY.#IT MAKES WAY MORE FUCKIN SENSE TO ME THAT HE WOULD BE A NATURAL REDHEAD THAN THAT HE WOULD DYE IT#like. bc naturally being a redhead is both something that would draw attention to him and something out of his control and you could tie a#really cool parallel between that and in-universe RGs height and stature bringing attention to him against his will bc he contrasts so hard#against the puppety nature of their world ykwim?#anyways. i know a lot of people make his hair dyed bc they read him as black and thats FAIR however there are. black redheads in the world.#like that exists!!! its REAL on this beautiful bitch of an earth!!! SO WHY NOT UTILIZE#its fine. i don't have strong feelings about this ok#<- (definitely has super strong feelings about RG humanizations)
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Re: the latest string of anons, I want to capture this thought before it flees, but it's not wholly formed yet. I'll try to tread carefully, and with gentleness.
Firstly, I want to invite you to grab onto this line from The Rupture:
CAS: "You used to give me the benefit of the doubt. Now, you can barely look at me."
You can take this lovely line and apply it as a challenge to the entirety of season 15, I think.
The thing with season 15 is that it challenges Dean in a way he hasn't quite been before: it's a full-on, nihilistic, Michael-coded existential crisis.
Cas has had psychological breakdowns like this on multiple occasions. So has Sam.
Throughout the series, Dean is wrong a lot, but this time, he's wrong about more things than usual, even when he's (like Cas with Raphael, and like Sam with many villains) still "a little bit right."
Everyone's a little bit wrong, a little bit right, and that's the beauty of it.
But the consequences are unfairly heavier than usual, and that chafes for Dean.
It chafes for his fans, too.
///
In season 15, at first Dean can't even say Jack's name. He sidesteps it, using coded communication, like his reference to "Bel" in 15x09 The Trap. (That's about Jack, y'all. If you tuly think he's talking about Bel in that scene, then you haven't been paying attention to Dean's character's values OR his communication style.)
I think at a lot of its core, Season 15 is asking you what happens when you're not spoon-fed a character's reactions. Do you look at their history and take the least charitable assumption, or do you work from what you know of that character's loves/morals/values and root for them to try and work through it?
Throughout the series, we see Dean cry and apologize more than most characters. For example, we are explicitly shown Dean's regret (on-screen!) for beating Cas in season 10, and so we know he feels guilty. On the flipside, we are NOT explicitly shown Cas's regrets for his beating on Dean in either seasons 5 or season 8.
But we give Cas the benefit of the doubt.
Why?
Well, truthfully, it's because Cas is a character that commands our respect, and this authority/respect extends to giving him dignity in a way some other characters aren't afforded. But mostly, it's because we trust in what we know of Cas. Again, it's those loves/morals/values that inform how we parse Cas's mistakes.
///
So, back to season 15. What are we going to do here?
Sam chooses grace. Will the audience choose it, too?
Crucially, Sam is a character who has had nervous breakdown after nervous breakdown. He sees what is happening with Dean, he understands Chuck's pressures, and he approaches Dean with (imperfect) grace.
So does Cas, for that matter, which makes a great deal of sense here. Cas is the character who has undergone the most severe existential crises regarding Chuck and Heaven. "Getting out of the game doesn't change the game," Cas says. He's grown tremendous, somewhat terrifying resilience as far as this is concerned.
But anyway. Dean's family sees that he's struggling and tries to help him through this because they too have gone through so many complicated meltdowns.
///
I think season 15 is tough, too, because it challenges you not to be spoon-fed all of Dean's grief and reactions.
Think back to Dean breaking down in the forest clearing after Mary died. Do you REALLY think there was none of that for Jack--for Rowena--for Jack's body being eradicated and ruining the hope of getting him back--for Cas leaving--for Amara--for the Jack rib-bomb?
I think to say yes would be dishonest. Personally, I think there's a well-argued case that Dean grieves almost everyone.
///
Season 15 is also tough because it invites to look upon some of Sam's worst moments (*cough* season 8) with renewed grace.
It even challenges you to frame the villains' struggles (John, Lucifer, and whoever the Hell else) in a stronger shade of gray.
///
Anon, I hope you find this soothing somewhat. :-)
Basically, the TLDR; is that we give our loved ones the benefit of the doubt because we've grown to know and trust their hearts over time, even when they're in the wrong.
-love from shal
#meditations on the asks#asks#aside/// i think this works for knowing your family too#like in season 8 sam has professed to wanting a future#so when sam comes in with the suicidal talk... dean knows that it's the *illness* talking and he recognizes that as an extenuating factor#ramble ramble ramble#euthanasia and sacrifices are not always a sign of heroism or autonomy... sometimes they're symptoms of illness or depression#and recognizing that in a world where you're pressured and/or rewarded for being a hero is rough#dean was in some sense *rewarded* for his willingness to become a bomb sacrifice. he got defused and then was gifted a resurrected mary#that's gotta fuck a guy up????#and one more thing#the thing that makes sam's fuck-ups really good is that he's ALWAYS a little bit right#sam's a little bit right about crowley even when crowley has regained some humanity FTR#we are *expressly shown crowley executing a group of queer suburbanites in season 11 for no other reason than to make a hurried phone call#and dean is also a little bit right about crowley's humanity - crowley doesn't free lucifer until after gavin is killed#gavin is the metaphor for crowley's humanity in some ways#and sam's even a little bit right about benny in the same way that dean doesn't entirely see benny for the complex guy benny truly is#in s10 dean thinks real benny would never encourage him to suicide when we've been *expressly shown benny shunning the corrupted andrea
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Jimithon Mouthwashing is such a good representation of untreated, enabled NPD like it makes me want to squeeze the life out of him. I'm endlessly fascinated when watching him interact with his crew, surroundings, and himself because he's so fucking lost in his own sauce. It's insane. If I'm being real, it makes him my favorite character in the game.
It's a little scary to say, but watching Jimmy is like seeing a mirrored version of myself two years ago before I truly committed to treatment for my NPD. He's like a shadow. The opening line "I hope this hurts," which I believe comes from Jimmy right before the crash, is such a poignant statement. It's a simple line, but I can tell you from experience that the desire to hurt others when in a narcissistic rage is overwhelming. It's such a good line to sum up Jimmy's character in that moment. Luckily, in the real world, I had my friends and family there to catch me when I hit my lowest, even though I'd hurt them so many times. Jimmy probably could've used friends to force him into therapy (cough cough Curly cough cough)
#also I don't mean we're similar in any way when it comes to rape or SA. Please don't twist it that way at all.#I mean like in terms of the jealously resentment revenge hurting others to feel thrilled not taking responsibility not seeing flaws etc#I'm diagnosed with NPD also but pls know my experience will be different from others. We're all different people obvs.#also Jimmy has like wayyyyyyyyyy more things wrong with him not just untreated NPD lol#I would say that untreated NPD is a hell most can't describe#you barely feel anything except rage boredom and jealousy (in my case)#love is a form of ownership and control because you can't really feel it the right way#so your -person- is an object of intense obsession and also a tool for you#if that makes sense? I see that with Jimmy and Curly for sure#You want to tear others down and hurt them because it makes you feel good to put them below you#there's a constant feeling of insecurity and it drives you crazy fr#kind gestures from friends feel insulting#and oh my god achievements made by friends and family in my case feel like I've been shot like I hate when they achieve things#It's not logical obvs but that's something I instantly noticed in Jimmy so i was like .....oh brother lol#and also if they achieve something my brain needs it to somehow be tied to me or I'll make it tied to me so they can be thankful#they should always center their attention on me and if they don't I immediately resent them#these are just some of my thought processes on the matter so I can show the similarities I feel with Jimmy#the KEY DIFFERENCE is all of these thoughts I have are left in my head and not exhibited in my actions (any more. took a long time)#but he is such a nasty human with ZERO introspection that he prob never even thought about treatment#also doesn't help that the hot blonde he's friends with never did anything to help with that#idk sorry for oversharing but ahhh this game is so well written I gotta yap about it lol#also kind of a funny unrelated story to show how weird the achievement thing can be lol#my friends announced they saved up enough to go to Vietnam (their dream trip) and I was happy for them (I really was)#but of course my delusional ass immediately also took it as a threat#and I booked a month long trip to Europe a few days after so I could also announce it LMAO#that is a kind of innocent incident when compared to Jimmy but it just shows how annoying NPD can be#Jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#NPD
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its important to go see a low stakes concert sometimes
#as in seeing someone in concert youre not an absolute nutbag about (as i have done this year and last year)#but last night me n my dad went and saw renaissance on their farewell tour#running on like 4 hours of sleep and seething to be at work right now#or rather i would be seething if i weren't so tired#new anger management hack: just get less sleep so your senses are dulled! anyway#funniest part of the night was the multiples times when my dad who is old was like 'everyone here is so old :/'#he was literally like 'if i ever get like these people just shoot me' LMAO#the concert was good i wouldn't call it like great or fantastic but such is the beauty of a low stakes concert#youre not living and dying on every song youre not singing along to everything youre just. enjoyin the show normally which is crazy#again as someone who has seen two bands (both bands two separate times and is seeing one of those bands a THIRD TIME soon) im crazy over#that experience is fun its bonkers and you definitely gotta do it for the bands youre crazy over. you gotta#but it was nice to just. have a regular time at a show#as far as the show itself there were a few little moments where things didnt go as smooth but that may have been bc it was the first show#and save for a few moments in some songs annie haslam knocked it out of the park she can still sing as insanely good as she used to#again some parts of songs were in a lower key? but most seemed to be the same and she was still hitting those bonkers high notes#so good for her. the band was pretty good but i felt they really only like all worked together well on a few songs#if that makes sense. but overall pretty good#and my anxieties about getting there and back were unfounded bc somehow it all worked. yay#our car service trip home was in a tesla i felt like i was gonna die the entire ride home lol#i am NEVER getting in one of those stupid cars again. big ass ipad as your dashboard this is insane???? im so scared???#anywho. old musicians are forever as ive been saying lately. and they really are#oh also we were at the town hall which is a nice small theater i was worried abt bein too far away but it's laid out really well#in that you're sure to get a pretty good view of the stage#it seems like half the size roughly of the beacon for whatever thats worth#OH i did see one dude somewhere in the audience with a sparks shirt so. hashtag represent#yet another concert report. yayyyyy#(im so tired)
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Ough as the end draws near I’m seeing more and more comments that are making me nervous that the ending won’t live up to all the hype & expectations aaaa aa
#ask#for example#there’s a few notes I’ve forgotten about that we’re gonna be important but now make no sense in the story#so I’ve gotta figure out how to work them in#without it feeling forced#and at the same time#continuing with the idea I’ve been married to for a few weeks about what the ending is gonna be#but now I’m so nervous that people won’t like the ending#and I’ll have ruined this fic#sobs#ik most of you will hopefully enjoy it!! but even seeing a few be like ‘aw :( I hoped something else would happen’ is gonna be ROUGH#but honestly#thank you all for the amazing experience you’ve given me writing this#I never realized just how much I enjoy writing until I started writing this fic#and all the love has been so sos o life changing#so thank you all <3#one person specifically said I was ‘stalling’ but like :( I’m drawing out the tension. if I do things too quickly it won’t have any umph.#I just haven’t been able to stop thinking abt that comment sigh#personal
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