#i won’t take it personally

[pixlokita]

I feel like ? I gotta remind people it’s ok to unfollow a blog when it upsets you in any way >> like if I ever do that sure, you can let me know if it was anything I did personally I’d appreciate it but if you just don’t enjoy something it’s ok to unfollow ;w; can’t stress enough how important it is to put your mental health first 👌

[bloodibambiidoll]

Do you guys still love me even though I’m not a Stranger Things centric blog anymore….

[bixels]

The final TF2 issue really got to me. Spoilers, but it’s the reveal that all of this suffering and murder and war over gravel and shitty land was for nothing but senseless, bottomless hatred. That the administrator can’t even remember where this revenge plot started as she flashes through different false memories of her parents’ deaths. There was never a tragic backstory or justification, only terrible people doing despicable things. And despite how crass and stupid and unserious TF2 is, the story subverts every expectation by showing the survivors and inheritors willingly breaking the cycle. Ms. Pauling lies to the administrator and chooses not to save her, and finally lets her die. (Hurts even more if you read into the subtext that Ms. Pauling is in love with the administrator.) She lets the final cache of Australium go and walks away from the burden and legacy of a century-old bloodfeud. Hale lets Gray’s daughter go and live her life freely. Spy is the first to arrive at Scout’s house and meet his big family, finally takes off his mask, and helps with the kids. Even Merasmus exhaustedly makes peace with himself and Soldier and chooses not to curse him or something. There’s nothing to finish, no promises to keep, and no one to avenge. The only thing to do is break the cycle and walk away.

It feels odd how happy and warm everything is, but it feels so right and earned. These bloodthirsty, awful, violent men were expendable cogs in a machine of endless violence, and they found a way out. It’s a genuinely great message about letting go the past that burdens you and finding the will and a way to hit the bricks, change, and be happy. Maybe they don’t technically deserve happiness, but they’ve got it nonetheless, and they’re not gonna let it go to waste. They’re still all crazy and violent, but on their own terms now and with people who love them! Smiles.

[noodles-and-tea]

Some league-playing friends were sad Viktor’s son didn’t make the cut for the show

[seefasterdraws]

i loeve you dai gyakuten saiban

[hezenkossapologist]

I should just block this poster bc everytime I see xyr post I get psychic damage

But on the other hand, how could I let myself miss out on “Bellara isn’t Dalish bc she wears shoes”

[blackknight-kai]

You know. My attraction to Caesar from POTA makes a lot more sense now. I always just decided “eh I’m a ‘monster fucker’ so it’s fine”.

Yeah. Sense has been made. (I need help but I won’t accept it.)

[chellychuu]

Calico Critters [Easter Celebration Set] ౨ৎ

[shaissa]

[thatshadowgastwhore]

I come bearing Tim, Jason, and Bruce angst.

Ever think about the fact that Jason had to be the adult when it came to his relationship with his mother? That the roles were reversed and the child had to look after the parent when she was at her most self destructive, had to be the one looking out for her to try to keep her safe from herself, and from his perspective, he failed. He wasn’t enough. Catherine died. (Obviously Jason bears no actual fault in her death, he was a child, but that doesn’t mean he believes that)

And with Bruce, pre death, Jason and Bruce had an excellent father/son relationship. At no point pre death were those roles reversed and Jason had to be the adult for Bruce. Bruce was a loving father, he wanted to keep Jason safe and it allowed Jason to be more of a child. It showed him what a parent should be for their child, unlike what he learned from Willis and later Catherine as she devolved.

You know what Jason does not witness? Bruce in the aftermath of his death. He doesn’t see Bruce spiral and become violent like Willis or self destructive like Catherine. He never has to witness Bruce as less than an ideal parent. He also never witnesses that the person who steps up to emotionally support Bruce and pull him out of his spiral is another child. A child taking on the role of caretaker for an adult.

Jason’s greatest trauma is his death, but his first trauma is Willis and Catherine. Bruce would never tell Jason the extent to which he fell apart. Tim would never divulge the information willingly. Bruce was so grief stricken, he barely remembers his time after Jason’s death, he blocks it out.

Jason may hate Bruce for not killing the joker, but he’ll never hate Bruce for becoming (briefly) like Willis and Catherine. Because he’ll never know. He’ll hate Tim for taking his place in the family, and never know Tim became like him in so many more ways than becoming Robin.

Tim knows on an informational level what Jason’s time was like pre-Bruce. He studied the family, he’s a researcher, his pattern recognition skills (literally how he unmasked Batman) are too great for him not to know the basics, but he doesn’t know the emotional level it would have scarred Jason. But even without that, he’ll never tell him what happened while Jason was dead. Even if it means Jason resents him. He’s going to take that secret to his grave.

Jason will never know that they have that in common. He doesn’t need to. It’ll only hurt more. (He can never tell anyone)

[batwynn]

Ok well. It’s time to be honest, I guess.

My last ditch attempt has failed. My new primary dr won’t take over the Humira script even though he’s a proper DO, and I no longer have a dermatologist. I’ve discussed my future without the immunosuppressant with my Pyoderma group and it looks like it will be Very Fucking Bad when I run out of the med in March. I’m already in Pretty Fucking Bad health, so the ‘living conditions’ in this future are not going to be exactly… survivable for me. I thought it would be a more mild transition back to where I was before the Humira due to how I take it, but according to folks who had to go off of it with this condition… it completely immobilized them in a lot of ways. Like I said, I already struggle with constant, screaming pain, illness, etc. and can barely force my way through shit as it already is. I will not be ok.

As I’ve said before, I’ve contacted everyone I can, so please believe me when I say I fucking tried. I’ve tried every dermatologist in the state. I’ve asked every doctor and specialist that I had. I’ve tried to find someone out of state who I could beg my insurance to cover. I even tried to figure out how to cover the cost of someone outside of my highly limited insurance but it’s too expensive and most of them need to meet in person, thousands of miles away. I’ve spent two fucking years trying. Turns out, it’s impossible. Wild, I know.

So, yeah. I tried. But it looks like after March I’m not going to do well at all. If I’m lucky, I’ll eventually qualify for the Death with Dignity program. But I’m never fucking lucky, so it’s more likely that I will suffer even more horribly until one of these fucking illnesses finally kills me. In addition, it looks like the big fucking looser who is the US president will be cutting every other program (SNAP, MEDICARE/MEDICADE, SSI, LIHEAP, etc) that my family uses to survive because we are both extremely poor and unwell, so. Yeah. There are no more options.

What this means for you all:

I’ll be working very hard to wrap up the Accidental MerDer comic in a somewhat satisfying way before March. All the other comics are too new to wrap up, so they’ll just have to be what they are. I will continue with my Patreon until the end of March, then close it down because I will very likely be unable to keep up with creating for everyone. I’ll try to make these last few months fun, but in reality I won’t be as available to chat and such as before.

I want to spend some time being selfish, and doing things like going outside for walks and hanging out with the cats. I’d like to try to enjoy some of my shitty life while it lasts.

One last note: I don’t want any advice. I tried every possible option that I can actually do. I am also not suicidal, I tried every possible way to survive but I will eventually become too ill to do so. I feel that I have made it extremely clear, and if you send the nazi police to my door for a ‘wellness check’ as a vulnerable trans person in a rural area I will fucking find out who you are and doxx you to let everyone know what a nice little goose stepping bitch you are.

Sorry if this is upsetting, but I guess this is just the reality of being disabled and piss poor in the magnificent country called the USA. 👍

Thank you for all the years of support and friendship. I wouldn’t have made it as long as I did without your kindness.

See you around.

[inamindfarfaraway]

The Exorcists’ Masks of Virtue

The vast majority of Exorcists in Hazbin Hotel have a notable design element that other angels don’t: their masks are missing an eye. Specifically, the right eye.

I believe this is a reference to the Bible, Matthew 5:29. Jesus says, “If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.”

He’s being hyperbolic. Mr Free Healthcare was not pro-mutilation. What he means is that you have to be willing to make sacrifices to prevent sin. The context of the eye metaphor is him condemning adultery and warning that even something as easy, casual and small as a look full of lustful intent can lead to further, worse sin if you don’t notice your sin, hold yourself accountable for it and do the work to not let it influence your decisions. This will probably be hard. It could be very, very painful. Changing your perspective can feel as horrible as plucking out your eye, so many people can’t bring themselves to do it. But although it won’t feel that way in the moment, it’s healthier for our general wellbeing in the long run to abandon traits and behaviours that damage ourselves and/or others.

(You may notice that Jesus’s teaching that you can have sinned, redeem yourself by giving up sin and thus escape damnation is the founding principle of the Hazbin Hotel. You may also notice that it contradicts everything the Exorcists believe.)

The Exorcists seem to follow this idea of painfully excising badness for the sake of the greater good devoutly to the point of placing it above teachings like ‘Thou shalt not kill’, with their job being to remove sin, in the form of sinners, to protect Heaven. Hence the missing right eyes. They’re a declaration of moral righteousness and inability to stumble.

But the truth is that the Exorcists all have their right eyes. Their flawlessness is a facade. Underneath, they are untouched, think themselves morally untouchable and, as shown by their horror and outrage when even one of them is killed, would much rather be physically untouchable too. This perfectly represents their complete unwillingness to acknowledge their own faults, let alone improve. They are never the ones who sacrifice. They force the sinners to sacrifice and don’t compensate it with any salvation. They metaphorically rip out the sinners’ eyes, but still condemn their entire bodies as inherently, permanently sinful. So they’ll just have to do another Extermination to get the other eyes! And another one to cut off their right hands! And so on until there’s nothing left.

The only exception to the rule is Vaggie, both in appearance and character. Her mask has the left eye crossed out instead. Even before her expulsion, she’s set apart to the audience as an Exorcist who has the capacity to, shall we say, see a different side of things. Her mask having its ‘sinful’ right eye reflects her understanding that the Exorcist worldview is wrong.

When she almost kills a demon child, her hateful vision clears. She discards the part of herself that’s an unquestioning, merciless agent of death, terror and grief… and as punishment for what Lute perceives as treacherous weakness, gets her eye plucked out.

Of course Lute leaves her with only the ‘sinful’ eye. It brands Vaggie forever as the inversion, a perversion, of what the Exorcists are meant to be.

You know, all this talk of eye removal in the Bible reminds me of another line - ‘an eye for an eye’. Adam directly quotes it in “Hell is Forever”. He uses it to frame the Exterminations as Old Testament-style punitive justice; the sinners did harm and so they receive it. But putting aside the debate about how ethical the concept of revenge is, the entire point of taking an eye for an eye is that it’s proportional. The punishment fits the crime. If someone cuts your eye out, you shouldn’t murder their whole family in front of them and then slowly disembowel them to death. That would be the sin of wrath. You should just make them pay without excessive pain or collateral damage. This is the fairest form of revenge.

The Exorcists don’t do that! The Exterminations aren’t proportional to the wrongs of all they hurt, nor was Vaggie’s brutal punishment equivalent to her extremely mild insubordination. Lute literally takes Vaggie’s eye, and more, after Vaggie does nothing to her! That’s the opposite of the phrase! Adam and his soldiers are wrathful and cruel, deriving satisfaction from others’ suffering. But they just can’t stop going on and on about how disgustingly evil the sinners are, in total hypocrisy… despite some of the sinners being far better people than the genocidal Exorcists are… it’s like they’re obsessed with specks of dust in the sinners’ eyes when they have massive logs stuck in their own. Oh hey, that’s in the Bible too!

[bixels]

In case anyone who’s not on Twitter is wondering what it’s like now, I just got punched in the throat by four random consecutive discourse posts on my timeline as follows:

>bojack horseman is pathetic and anyone who likes “cartoons for adults” should have their harddrives checked for cp.

>anime is/isn’t carried by black culture, citing dandadan referencing a rihanna dance in its intro (it was a qrt exchange so both sides were present).

>angel dust is good sa victim representation and the person who made that video essay about them needs to be cyberbullied (or the inverse).

>this random stranger online made a post about how they’re bisexual and a trans ally but aren’t interested in trans people romantically or sexually, let’s make assumptions about their failure as a queer person and also dox them.

So that’s what you’re missing out on.

[pallanophblargh]

Color! Composition still wonky, but this was done mainly to see how I liked the colors and such. I can reposition and resize birds/leaves/etc another time. And get a decent proper hexagon drawn up.

This has been an exercise in not letting perfection hold me back. I have to start getting back into art somehow, right?

[buddiesmutslut]

If I have to read “Buck could spend his life with Tommy, if not for Eddie.” I promise you I WILL scream.

No tf he couldn’t. That is not the story they’re telling here. I know it’s confusing bc Eddie is all over this storyline, but that’s not what you’re supposed to take away from it.

Tommy canonically has not been ANY different than any of Buck’s previous love interests. It’s been pointed out *several times* actually how similar he is to all of them in various ways, & yet, nobody’s been sighing “Abby/Ali/Taylor/Lucy/Natalia could be Buck’s soulmate, if only it weren’t for Eddie.” Bc that’s insane.

Eddie is not the reason any of those relationships didn’t last forever. I know we like to say that everything is about Buddie but it genuinely is not. Eddie is not the reason Tommy is condescending. Eddie is not the reason Tommy is dismissive of things Buck is interested in. Eddie is not the reason Tommy calls him Evan, despite the fact that “the people who know me call me Buck.” Eddie is not the reason for whatever is in Tommy’s past that is going to leave Buck spiraling next episode the same way he’s not responsible for why Ali & Taylor & Natalia didn’t work out.

Buck’s relationships don’t work out for their own reasons WITHIN the relationship itself, and whenever Buck & Tommy break up (whether that be in the next few weeks or later down the line) it will be because of something between Buck & Tommy.

Not Eddie.

Please stfu with this take. They are not trying to show you that Tommy could be Buck’s soulmate “if only Eddie wasn’t there.” I know we don’t know exactly what story they’re telling with them yet, but I fucking GUARANTEE it is not that one.

[dykedvonte]

I have this sick idea in my head that Jimmy and Curly have brought up the hypothetical situation about a mutiny and if they’d have the heart to shoot each other.

And I believe that Curly would say he’d never use the gun and if he absolutely had to he’d turn it on himself because, obviously, if even Jimmy is against him, he must’ve fucked up royally. It’s sweet and he’s raw with it, talking about how much he values being a good Captain and what it/Jimmy mean to him and how the gun is never something he considers, hence why he doesn’t even know the code (likely required if the code scanner is tampered with but he’d make the risky choice) and it leaves Jimmy a bit speechless. He wouldn’t answer for himself until Curly asks, teasing like he’s expecting something equally as sappy and sentimental but Jimmy just says he would.

Right between the eyes. No hesitation. Quick and easy to get it over with. He’s having fun with it, it’s crass and cold and he doesn’t even realize Curly didn’t even let out his usual awkward laugh when Jimmy talks like that. No placating smile, just a sort of dejected and surprised look. The formations of an epiphany. And Jimmy can see how off put Curly is and the hurt and he says he’s just joking. The cockpit is quite after that but Jimmy doesn’t care and things go by as usual despite it. Curly’s talking to him the next time they meet and all is well. He forgets about it.

But I think it sticks with Curly for a long time and he tries hard to brush it off as just another off kilter thing Jimmy would say. That in the moment, Jimmy wouldn’t or he’d try not to or he’d at the very least hesitate. He’d settle for just apologizing before pulling the trigger.

But in the back of his mind he knows theirs a subtle truth to those words.