#gotta love tumblr breaking every step of the way. shes so supportive
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all pages now have the masterpost and the first page linked, and alt text added ! :]
#i spent like a full hour just editing those posts lmao#gotta love tumblr breaking every step of the way. shes so supportive#link retoast#it all better be working...
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an icarus and his sun: chapter 10
A/N: y’all ever think about that one empires episode of pearl’s where she helps sausage fight off a raid and that turns into a pvp battle between them, and she absolutely destroys him? yeah me too. also check out this awesome art by @amostfoolishgold! anyway back to jimmy pov!
Warnings: injury, unconsciousness, fevers, talk of death, violence, corruption/infection, self-blame
AO3 Link - Tumblr Masterpost
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The sun was nearing the horizon, casting the Overgrown in a golden glow. The castle was beginning to take shape, but they had unfortunately run low on materials, and Joel and Lizzie weren’t back from their gathering trip yet. So for the moment, they all just sat in the half-constructed shell of a castle, having light conversation as they waited for Joel and Lizzie to arrive. But soon enough, the conversation dwindled into an awkward silence. That is, until Gem stood up with a determined look in her eyes and a gentle smile.
“Why don’t we head to my empire for dinner? We’ve been working hard all day and could use a break!” she said brightly. Jimmy wasn’t sure how he felt about Gem quite yet, after everything that had happened- but she and Pearl had been a huge help. Meanwhile Shelby looked intrigued by the offer, and while Katherine first nervously glanced to the horizon, she looked back to Gem with a smile.
“That is very kind of you, Gem. I’d love to- we should probably just leave a note for Joel and Lizzie to let them know where we’ve gone,” Katherine said, standing up as well. Gem looked to Jimmy semi-nervously- and well, Jimmy was always a bit of a softie, wasn’t he? He smiled at Gem and stood up too.
“That does sound nice, thank you for inviting us,” Jimmy said. Gem beamed, and Pearl looked relieved as she stood up next to Gem.
“Well, you definitely won’t see me complaining about free food!” Shelby chimed in, hopping up to her feet. That caused the group to break into laughter, and the air between them felt comfortable again.
Once Katherine had written the note and put it where Lizzie and Joel could easily find it, the five of them (minus Pearl, who had wings) equipped their elytra and flew off to the Crystal Cliffs. When they first arrived there, everything seemed normal. The grand cliffs themselves, the buildings nestled in and around them, the towers- it was a beautiful and mystical place. But there was something blue, white, and gold that stood out in a heap on the ground near one of the buildings- a very familiar something blue, white and gold.
“Oh my god-” Gem started, landing on the ground beside the figure.
“Is that-” Pearl said, unable to finish the thought as she landed just behind Gem.
“Scott?” Jimmy finished, voice shaking as he came in for a bit of an unsteady landing a few feet away from where Scott laid on the ground, breathing shallow and upon a closer look, something red pulsing and spreading beneath his skin like some sort of vine. Jimmy barely registered Katherine and Shelby landing on either side of him, too focused on what was before him.
“This- this red stuff reminds me of the redstone spikes in Fwhip’s empire- or maybe something from the nether?” Gem pondered as she knelt beside Scott, a purple glow coming over her hand as she reached out towards the infection in his arm.
“I’ve seen that before,” Shelby said, voice sounding distant and laced with horror. Everyone turned to look at her, surprised to hear such a terrified tone of voice from the usually enthusiastic gnome.
“The infection?” Pearl asked.
“The corruption. I’ve seen it happen to my people back home, until it consumed them until there was nothing left- it’s why I came here, to try and find a cure or some way to stop it. But nothing worked,” Shelby explained shakily, sounding like she was on the verge of tears. Jimmy felt like he was going to cry too- and some awful part of himself thought that he should be glad that this happened to Scott, that it served him right after betraying Jimmy and breaking his heart- but he couldn’t. Despite everything Scott had done, despite never wanting to see Scott again- none of that meant that Jimmy didn’t want a world where the winged elf wasn’t in it. And what about what Pearl had said? Scott didn’t seem happy with Fwhip either, but now Jimmy would never know the truth. Not if it died with Scott.
Jimmy was so wrapped up in his conflicted mess of emotions that he didn’t even notice that someone else had flown in until Katherine let out a sharp gasp. He tore his gaze away from Scott to see what had caused that reaction from Katherine- and saw Fwhip. A mix of anger and terror boiled in his veins and swirled in his stomach at the sight of him. Fwhip looked baffled to see so many people in Gem’s empire, and plastered on a forced friendly smile. Jimmy’s hand found Katherine’s, and she squeezed it back tightly with no intention of letting go.
“Gem! Hi, so I wanted to smooth things over- I think we left things on a bad note-”
“What did you do to Scott,” Gem demanded, cutting off Fwhip as she stood up from beside Scott. Purple sparks danced in the air around her, and Jimmy swallowed nervously- he didn’t think he had ever seen Gem seem so intimidating before. Jimmy was relieved to see that Fwhip looked nervous too.
“Well, I haven’t seen Scott since our meeting, he seemed upset when he left- weird that he ended up here- y’know I was actually gonna go and talk to him after you-”
“If by talk, you mean do whatever you did to Scott to us?!” Pearl demanded, hand on the hilt of her sword as she took a step forward to stand beside Gem.
“I didn’t-”
“I’ve had enough of your lies, Fwhip. What. Did. You. Do,” Gem said evenly. Fwhip swallowed nervously, before sighing and finally giving in.
“Okay, so I may have set a few traps in his empire and got Sausage to help me with letting a raid infiltrate his village and the surrounding lands- but I figured Scott could handle a few traps and some mobs, it was only meant to be a warning, I never meant to kill him! He must have really gotten soft if he couldn’t deal with it,” Fwhip rambled. Gem and Pearl seemed semi-satisfied with his answer, but Pearl kept her hand on her sword and purple sparks still danced around Gem. But there was something that Fwhip said that bothered Jimmy, and along with what Pearl had said… guilt was beginning to settle in the pit of his stomach.
“What do you mean by that?” Jimmy asked tentatively. Fwhip let out a harsh laugh, turning to Jimmy incredulously.
“The idiot actually fell for you. He was just supposed to be a distraction, a contingency plan to make sure you wouldn’t be trouble. But he got in too deep, and look where that got him,” Fwhip scoffed, looking down at Scott’s deathly still form in disdain. Guilt was crashing on Jimmy in waves now. He had pushed Scott away. Scott had actually cared about him and he pushed him away. And then he had no one to go to for help when Fwhip decided to send a “warning” and got hurt as a result.
“You’re lucky I’m a pacifist,” Katherine spat, more angry than Jimmy had ever heard her. He wished he could have shared her anger, shouted at Fwhip too- but Jimmy just felt numb.
“Well unluckily for Fwhip, I don’t have that problem,” Pearl fumed, drawing her sword. Fwhip started to scramble back as Pearl leapt at him. His backwards stumble turned into a run, and Pearl kept pace with him just fine, using her wings if necessary and brandishing her sword to chase him away.
“Pearl can handle him- can you three help me get Scott to the apothecary? I’d do it by myself, but he’s tall and there’s the bulk of his wings to worry about too,” Gem asked, looking down at Scott worriedly.
“Erm- right, of course,” Jimmy said, letting go of Katherine’s hand to join Gem at Scott’s side.
“Hold on- go to the other side and help me turn him over,” Gem said. Jimmy did as she asked, and being mindful of his wings, the two of them gently rolled Scott over so he was on his back. Scott was feverish to the touch, and even unconscious his expression was contorted with pain.
“He’s hot,” Jimmy said, distant horror in his tone.
“Now isn’t the time for that, Jimmy,” Gem teased, trying to lessen the tension in the air. Jimmy’s face scrunched up in irritation as he half-heartedly glared at her.
“He has a fever, Gem,” Jimmy huffed. Gem laughed nervously.
“I know, I know, just trying to make this less terrible than it is,” Gem sighed. Jimmy gave her a weak smile, and together the two of them gently lifted Scott up. Jimmy ended up mostly holding Scott, while Gem supported his wings. Scott’s head lolled against his shoulder, labored breaths fanning his neck. Jimmy should have felt embarrassed or flustered, cradling Scott like this- but he was too concerned with how limp and unresponsive Scott felt in his arms.
“I’ll get the doors for you!” Shelby offered, quickly making her way over to the apothecary door. Katherine hovered around Jimmy and Gem semi-anxiously, making sure that they had a good hold on Scott as they made their way over to the apothecary. But all went well, and they were able to safely transport Scott into one of the apothecary beds. He had begun to shiver and tremble every so often now, and Jimmy could have sworn the corruption had spread, reaching his fingertips.
“There’s gotta be a way to stop that, or at least slow it down,” Gem murmured in thought, pulling up a chair to sit at Scott’s side. She reached out to the cut where the corruption on Scott’s arm stemmed from, hand glowing purple again. She closed her hand over it, and her eyes began to glow the same purple as her hand. But then the glow flickered, turning red for a moment before it dissipated entirely and Gem drew her hand back with a yelp, stumbling backwards out of her seat beside Scott’s bed. Jimmy scrambled over to help her up, eyes darting nervously between her and Scott.
“Is everything alright? I chased Fwhip off, but I swear if he’s done something in here…” Pearl trailed off as she walked into the apothecary, eyes zeroing on Gem as she rubbed at her temples.
“I’m fine. The corruption- it fought back. It’s… alive, somehow,” Gem said with morbid curiosity in her tone.
“It’s a type of fungus. That’s as much as my people could figure out before I came here to try and find a cure. The red stuff is everywhere in my old home- even if you tried to get rid of it, it would just come back. And in the cases where it latched onto a person… there was no getting it out,” Shelby explained, sounding like she was going to cry. Gem hummed thoughtfully.
“Did you try any sort of magic with it?” she asked.
“No, my people were not magic-users- in fact I’d hardly seen magic before I came here, where the air seems charged with the stuff,” Shelby replied, gesturing around her. A determined expression came over Gem’s face.
“Then I’m not gonna stop trying. I don’t know if I can fully fight off the corruption, but I definitely think I can slow its spread. In the meantime, we’re gonna need to get Scott’s fever down- at this rate, that’ll kill him before the corruption will,” Gem said, resting the back of her hand on Scott’s forehead and frowning.
“He’s probably a little beat-up too- Fwhip did say he trapped his empire,” Katherine added. Gem nodded in agreement.
“We’ll need cool water and cloth to make a compress for his forehead- and I should have some healing potions around here- it couldn’t hurt to brew some more though too, just in case,” Gem rambled, starting to stand up before Pearl put up a hand.
“You two stay here with Scott, I know where you keep things around here. Katherine, Shelby and I can worry about getting things for you,” she soothed. Jimmy tilted his head in confusion.
“Wait, I can help get things too…” Jimmy trailed off uncertainly.
“You can help if you want. I just figured you’d wanna stick by Scott,” Pearl shrugged with a gentle smile. Jimmy flushed slightly as he looked down at the floor, away from Pearl’s knowing stare.
“I… yeah. I’ll stick by Scott,” he said softly, gaze shifting to look at the winged elf who always managed to make his emotions into a muddled mess. Scott was an enemy, a friend, a- a something, then an enemy again- but whatever Scott was to Jimmy now, he knew one thing: he wasn’t letting Scott out of his sight again. Doing so the last time caused this to happen. He had to be there if- no, when Scott woke up. He had to apologize for pushing him away, and hope that maybe Scott still cared about him after everything that had happened to accept it.
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Taglists below! Let me know if you want to be added/removed!
MCYT General Fic Taglist: @corazon10000 @damiensaidno @franticfandomfanatic @gattonero17 @hetapeep41 @space-ace123 @vyeoh
AIAHS Taglist: @anty-kreatywna @beepa99 @devilwoodkitty18 @riobug
#empires smp#scott smajor#jimmy solidarity#geminitay#pearlescentmoon#shubble#katherine elizabeth#fwhip#flower husbands#aiahs#mcyt#sage writes
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Social Media Anon Here!
Firstly, never change Grumpy ;) you are probably the only person on Tumblr to LISTEN to another view and let it change a prejudice.
Secondly, the Padagram/Social Media change bus continues. Don't be fooled people will be looking at positive and negative reactions to that change on social media.
So here goes!
1. They are starting to market season 2 of Walker in Hiatus. That really doesn't happen. That means they know they need to target new viewers. They are acknowledging they have a problem. The main problem is Jared either didn't learn enough about production quality on SPN (Jensen/Misha were both more interested in behind the camera's) or that he thought he could stick a Stetson on and we all had such sh1t for brains we'd watch anything. So they need a viewer boost DESPARATELY and are going all out to (a) persuade Walkers remaining viewer(s) that it's worth sticking around and (b) get back old viewers or convert 1m+ viewers to season 2. So now we see all the cast (and Keegan has more followers than Jared and Lindsay has a VERY engaged following) trying to persuade their followers how fabulous Walker is. Expect this scrabbling to continue if they want their COVID paychecks.
2. Connected to 1, Jared has started trying to break out of the fandom bubble. I don't think he's trying for power couple (the clue in a power couple is that two FAMOUS people get together and create a super brand, here we have one niche C famous guy and a hanger on wife), I think we are in Jared profile raising and trying to raise his recognition score, which is probably a little low having half assed it in the last year and a half. He's doing it by scatter-gunning so I'm not sure it's going to stick.
3. Connected to 2,
(i) if I run my algorithm clean laptop with a "Jared Padalecki" news search, I get (a) a daily mail article on Jared "clarifying the rift" (b) a "hello" magazine saying he's been "inundated with support after death of "family member"" (c) the new york times article on Walker and Supernatural. It then goes into a variety of articles about Jared raising money for Holly's family (fucking atrocious in my view to use her death for publicity) and a series of derivative articles on his mantrum and later explanation. ONLY THE NEW YORK TIMES ARTICLE MENTIONS WALKER other than as a throw away, all of the others link to Supernatural only. Walker isn't on the main radar of anyone as a show. It's not mainstream enough to mention. it has ZERO buzz.
(ii) if I run the same search on my compromised tablet, I get a SEA of fluff articles "jared padalecki goes to venice", "jared padalecki's wife wishes him a happy birthday" "jared padalecki goes to watch soccer" "jared padalecki goes to the wrestling". I'm expecting "Jared Padalecki defecates regularly" tomorrow.
At the end of that I get the same articles as in (i) but the majority of his publicity is still going through the fandom and the, not very viewed, endless zine type websites that update on every episode of every geek show every day.
So we are seeing, and I expect it to continue, a break out Padalecki, (who knows he and his forehead may wish to have a final crack at films), and a fluff Padalecki, trying to stay relevant a year after SPN relevance ended, because he hasn't got the same push for season 2 of Walker as he had for season 1 and Walker has zero presence. No one, not even the fans are talking about Walker.
Will it work? I don't think so. Keegan has 7m followers on Insta and that's because he's a photographer and writer and it's interesting. I would follow his account (I don't), but certainly it isn't a Walker instagram.
Jared is a clever guy, but he's boring on social media. He has a limited appeal. He does family snaps, hunk snaps, flogs orange pee and flogs his show. He says "family" and "mantra" a lot but that's really it. The clue is, if you didn't know who he was and came across his instagram you wouldn't follow him. Why would you? For a video of a guy running up steps? A smug picture of two middle aged men trying to flog you something?... (oh and lots of "brother" comments on Keegan's social media, which is irritating. It's like he thinks that is his repeatable formula and it isn't).
His media approach won't work because advertising and exposure pushes a product. In TV's case, it's not a one off product and there is a lot of competition. Product Jared needs to be more interesting (his mantrum's are the only exciting thing about him - and that is tragic) and his TV show just needs to be BETTER, well, a LOT BETTER.
Soooo, expect the Padapush to continue, but it's not about a couple, it's about individual marketing and for Jared breaking out of SPN bubble. For Gen, it's her tag along profile that she'll never break out of. She'll have to be satisfied with her superpower of being able to persuade people to buy toothbrush's and dog food (if she can).
Expect though the couple's bit to die off a little. Jared is getting over exposed. His engagement rating is plummeting (nearly 3% is a plummet) because of the repetitive photo content. He'll have to back off or people will switch off (I have already). What makes me laugh is.... from the dawn of time when cavemen took their wives 2 miles away for a new cave weekend.... NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN INTERESTED IN SOMEONE ELSE'S HOLIDAY SNAPS.... Gen and Jared apparently need to learn that lesson...
I might stop these posts now because, well, it's gotta be a bit boring for you and I write LONG. :)
Stay safe and wear your masks ;) xxx
I don’t want you to ever ever change, lovely! Also, I’m NEVER bored by your messages! You put so much effort into the research you do and the messages you send and it’s appreciated! <3
I started following Lindsey on IG because she seems pretty genuine, and her cat is way too cute! Plus, I like her attitude. I haven’t followed her for the whole Walker season, but even she doesn’t post a lot about it. She posts interviews and then posts about that night’s episode, but other than that, nothing. Can’t speak for Keegan, but how are fans and non-fans supposed to be excited about a show when the people STARRING in the show can’t be bothered? Maybe they’re all aware of how shitty it is or maybe they’re lazy, but it doesn’t make sense.
I’m always interested to see the difference in an “algorithm-free” setting and one that has an algorithm. I always figured Google was the same for everyone, but seeing the difference in articles you’ve outlined is insane. It really just goes to show that Jared isn’t the star that his stans think he is. He’s not as important as they think he is, he’s just an actor. It’s even more jarring to see just how little Walker is talked about at all. All of my devices probably have been “contaminated” when it comes to algorithm so I can’t really speak personally about the public and fans talking about Walker or not talking about it. I can say that on the posts about Walker from the Supernatural Facebook page, a good chunk of the comments are people saying they stopped watching, never got into it, or thought it was trash. There are only a handful of comments talking about how they enjoy the show.
I think it was disgusting for him to use a fan’s passing for publicity. And no, I don’t think it was anything other than a PR stunt. Her family had a GFM going that was promoted by plenty of the case INCLUDING GEN, so you know he knew about it. But for him to make his own special one and then have articles posted everywhere about how charitable he is? That’s gross PR bullshit and I hope it backfires.
I still follow a few Supernatural fans, Jared fans, Jensen fans, etc. on Tumblr and even they aren’t mentioning it. I think maybe the hardcore Jared stans post gifsets or whatever, but I don’t see much praise for the show itself, just Jared’s looks. Even the fans aren’t biting and that would make me reevaluate everything if I was Jared.
I'm expecting "Jared Padalecki defecates regularly" tomorrow. This made me laugh way too hard!
who knows he and his forehead may wish to have a final crack at films You are on a ROLL! Maybe I’ve become biased, but I can’t see Jared doing films. I mean, I could see him doing like a side character role or something small, but I can’t see him having a big part of a movie. Like I said, maybe that’s me being biased but I see him staying in TV. I could be proven wrong, but I don’t know.
I agree about Jared being boring on SM. I used to get some giggles from his Twitter posts and even some of his early IG posts because they were goofy, clever, and candid. It showed his humor and was more personable. Now it’s just all fake and comes off as someone whose only motivation to engage with fans is money and that’s a big turn off.
For me personally, I think that if instead of the “couple goals” bullshit that they try to push for their lavish trips, if they just posted cool pictures they took of different locations, activities, food or whatever, that would be more palatable than all the “Look at my hubster and I! We’re in Italy! Look at how in love we are!” But maybe that’s because I’ve become a bit of a photography nerd?
I guess time will tell whether or not Jared will make positive changes and if Walker can be saved, but I’m not really optimistic about it.
I AM optimistic about your takes on things so keep them coming! Long posts or not, I love them! <3
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courage to change—
ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ ➢ taken place six months after endgame, y/n stark gets a call from none other than sam wilson— being confused on why he had called her. wanting to go after a new villain. she was obligated at first but knew it was her friend that needed help. she never thought she would go back into become a hero after her loss.
ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ ➢ 2.1k
ᴅɪꜱᴄʟᴀɪᴍᴇʀꜱ ➢ fluff all around. nothing extreme.
ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ ꜱᴘᴇᴀᴋꜱ ! ➢ this is my first time writing on tumblr so if it’s bad then sorry!! i enjoyed writing this so if you do like it then please let me know.
months have passed without tony stark, everything became quiet, a loss is a loss with whatever you’re dealing with. this was more than a loss for y/n— especially pepper and morgan. they all thought that they would be a big, happy family but tragically that never was the case. thanos ruined everything for the girl and she lost her best friend and mother to people just like thanos. she told herself she would get back and start saving because no one saved her dad, sometimes it would bring nightmares to her.
she had to deal with everything and be with her family which more important, she didn’t talk or call anyone. there would be nights where she would cry herself to sleep with tony’s sweatshirt that she loved. the scent was still there and she never wanted to let it go because it was a part of her that wasn’t lost. morgan was always smiling for her half sister, it was like just yesterday was when the world went back together but she knew she just wanted to think about it like that. days would go by where she wouldn’t return peter’s phone calls and it wasn’t just because she didn’t want to. she knew her dad was an important figure to the boy— she thought she would break down in front of him.
helping around the house was essentially the part where she needed to help pepper. happy would stop by and occasionally drop off the cheeseburgers that both of the girls loved. it was those moments and little things that made her feel so much better. it didn’t help when the one person she cared about as much as her dad wouldn’t do anything to help her when she was in complete pain. bucky barnes was the man for her and she was there for him when he was struggling and when he wouldn’t talk to her after the funeral: he felt awful but that wouldn’t change anything at all.
the relationship started out fine and all though tony wasn’t pleased and supportive about the thing they had for each other. he would never tell her to break up with him or even if they weren’t— he wouldn’t try to break them off. he loved him for that, all the problems they had with his parents getting killed by the winter soldier. nothing mattered anymore, she threw that relationship out slowly but also painfully. she loved him and he loved her but they both weren’t mentally stable to be each other at that moment.
pacing around her room to calm herself from finding herself to have a panic attack, she hears her phone buzzing and looked up and walks over to see what it was about. she saw the name ‘sam <3’ she couldn’t help but smile at the contact, she’ll be honest it had been awhile but that didn’t matter at that moment. she took a deep breath and opened up the message.
sam <3: hey y/n... it’s been awhile and i should have asked you how you have been instead of now. i thought we could catch up, it’s just i wanted to see if you could help with something? think of it as a last mission type of thing, let me know. hope you are well
y/n knew sam meant well and maybe this could help her with everything that she was going through. this also meant she could suffer but she rather help another friend that needed something. she agreed to help him and visit him in louisiana. she typed back saying that she would be in town in a day or so. 
y/n stark ♡: of course i will come by! just give me a day or so, so i can get things ready to pack... you still have your boat? would love to see it!!
they talked nonstop about everything until she had to remind herself to tell pepper and to go and pack her things. she went into the kitchen where morgan was watching tv and eating a turkey sandwich that her mom prepared for her. pepper looked up, “hi, honey. you want a sandwich... turkey or roast beef?” she asked smiling, already pulling out the whole wheat bread. y/n smiled telling her she wanted one, “actually pepper... sam asked if i could go up to louisiana? he wanted to catch up and his family will be— of course you can go. we will be okay, just call me every night alright?” she went over to hug her step daughter. morgan saw them hugging and she couldn’t help but go and hug both of them.
later on the night, y/n had packed her suitcase with clothes and essentials she needed for her trip. she saw the glasses that tony had saved and left for her in any case of a tragic accident— she sighed grabbing them and placing them in her suitcase. she watched morgan and pepper at the porch entrance waving bye to her, happy had grabbed her bag and placed it in the back trunk of the limo. she thanked him and entered the limo while happy got in the other side of the limo. “how are you doing kiddo?” she looked up from her phone and stifled a small smile, “alright. just hoping this trip is going to be ok.”
they both focused on their phones and on the ride while they saw the entrance to the wilson family seafood. y/n saw sam and his sister talking as they all looked at the limo that stopped in front of them. the girl gave a right hug to happy when he told her to be safe and also to have fun— he gave her the suitcase before leaving. she saw sam and couldn’t help but smile widely and went to walk towards him. they were engulfed in a hug with warmth surround them, “ah, sam. i missed you.” she told him rubbing her hand on his backside. they both let go to meet each other in the eyes, “i missed you. come see sarah.”
sam and sarah were obviously close, sarah saw y/n and was putting down the crates her children helped her with. she went to go hug her and all this was something that she never got back because just isolated herself, “so sarah wants to sell our boat— whoa, you’re getting rid of this bad boy.” y/n spoke turning around to see the boat in her two eyes. sarah gave the girl a chuckle while continuing to leave into the boy where sam and y/n followed her on it. “sam, the boats gotta go—wait.” sam tried to intervene his sister but she wasn’t having it with him, “no. let me finish. i’m doin' everything i can to keep this business afloat. and everyday i’m making $5, and spending $10.” sarah told her brother.
“so, why won’t you let me help?—no, don’t start with that. we made a deal before daddy died. you’re out there—” y/n froze when sarah mentioned her fathers death and each time it kept eating y/n alive. she would do anything to make that feeling just leave for a small portion of the time. sam noticed she wasn’t present and sighed when she saw y/n, “y/n... i’m sorry.” sarah apologized and y/n told her it was fine and that it wasn’t her fault at all. she kept hearing on the conversation, “i do things my way her—right. but you tangled the house into this when you took those loans.” sarah punched her brother in the chest graining at the impact it made on him, “forgot how hard you hit, uh, y/n wait up here and then we can catch up. i will be back.” sam told her making y/n nod and chuckle, “don’t take too long.”
sam finished talking to his sister and once he came back—they went on side to have a drink and have a small conversation. sam poured her some non alcoholic drink as she didn’t drink that often, “so tell me. what have you been up to.” he asked the girl slouching on a chair and she took a sip, “if you know me sam, you would know nothing.” she told him looking down at her drink and in circles, “don’t torture yourself stark. i’m here now.” same went to give her a soft hug and she returned the hug smiling at him. “have you talked—no.” y/n told him since she didn’t want to talk about it or bucky as it brought memories.
sam asked if y/n could watch his nephews while he and sarah would go to the bank to ask for a loan, she didn’t hesitate to help him out. y/n woke up early and saw sam and sarah with her two children packing up the food they were going to give out. she walked over “morin'.” she spoke yawing while sam looked up to see her in a black t-shirt and shook his at her semi-messy hair, “morning y/n. you sleep good?” sarah asked packing up food, “honestly, yeah you guys have nice cushions.” she said honestly. “you always gotta do the most, huh?” she said asked.
“i don’t play with these white folks.” sam chuckled before continuing, “look, i know you’re worried, all right? but i did the research. i ran the numbers—you really think this is gonna work?” she said skeptical about it all and if sams plan would work, “I know it will. and then we can renovate the kitchen. now, you said you wanted to sell plates in the weekends, right? that’s great. you can introduce some of grandma’s recently... shit. we gotta go.”
sam looked at his watch and noticed the time and that he would be late but he was rather punctual. y/n furrowed her eyebrows as he wouldn’t be late, “you know me, no such thing as on time. you’re either early or late. pick one.” he told the girls, both of the siblings went to go get their jackets on. “all right, boys, i love you. now, y/n will be watching you and no video games.” sarah said kissing her sons on the forehead and looked at y/n to know that she would be helping her a lot.
once the wilson’s came back, y/n was hanging out with boys because she soon fell in love with both of them. being around the two boys made her feel special because it was something she walkways wanted. y/n was watching them play video games and she just admired them until sam came in to ask to steal her. “can you come here quick.” she nodded and walked over to sam and entered to the room where sam was in and he was explaining the video. it was the flag smashers—he didn’t look too nice. he saw the video of one of the flag smashers throwing a man acros towards the pole. “he looks strong—who are you?” they got interrupted as y/n scrunched her nose and surprised he didn’t know her.
“y/n. y/n stark—oh. oh, uh i am so sorry for your loss.” the man rambled while y/n laughed saying thank you and he kept going, “he was. i mean, they went dark as soon as it was all over. but that their m.o. we gotta keep our eyes and ears to the ground till they pop up again.” the man on the call told them. the young lady sighed not understanding how that could all be possible, “anything else happen outside the video?—no, man. my face was in the dirt before i knew what was happening. why? what are you thinking?” sam turned to y/n and they shared a look of unsteadiness, they both knew what they were both thinking. if something was out there then they needed to stop it, “nothin'—wait. you don’t think he could be a... look, i’ll circle back to you. let’s keep this between me and you.
a second later sarah came into the room turning on the television and telling both of them to look at was on the news. it appeared to be a press and y/n did think about it as anything until she heard what the man was saying.
“unrest, in the wake of recent events has left us vulnerable. every day Americans feel it. While we love heroes who put their lives on the line to defend earth, we also need a hero to defend this country. we need a real person who embodies america’s greatest values. we need someone to inspire us again, someone who can be a symbol for all of us. so, on behalf of the department of defense and our commander-in-chief, it is with great honor that we announce here today that the united states of america has a new hero. join me in welcoming your new captain america.” the man spoke and there was a man in a captain america uniform with steve’s shield over his arm. y/n rubbed her temples while sighing knowing this wasn’t good.
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Build-a-Band pt 1&2
Inspired from a tumblr post that I have lost track of. (If you see it lmk)
The boys go to Build-a-Bear.
Each chapter is told from the POV of a different person. Reggie is first up!
I tried to reference actual build a bears, but the accessories are whatever I wish into existence so there.
Can read on Ao3 here
And also below! ~1900 words
Everything had been normal since the Orpheum. Well as normal as life can be when you live with three teenage boy ghosts from the 90s and you’re in a rock band that played one of the most well-known clubs in LA. The boys still got into their crazy antics that Julie inevitably had to fix and there was still something going on between her and Luke, whatever that was. She didn’t have time to worry about it so much these days.
Ever since the Orpheum they could touch and every now and again they could become visible to Flynn or Carlos. It still hadn’t happened in front of Ray yet, much to Reggie’s disappointment but he kept trying. Ray had taken news that the boys were ghosts surprisingly well with the addition of a few extra rules. He eyed the empty space where one ghost in particular was supposed to be when he told them although if the object of Ray’s focus noticed he sure didn’t show it.
Time was passing by rather quickly these days, and soon it was the start of summer. Julie’s dad had been nudging her to get a summer job and she couldn’t help but think it might be a good idea. The band was playing regular gigs now, but they weren’t making much money. If they were going to keep going, they needed another source of income. The boys of course couldn’t be of much help with this since you know, dead, so it was mostly up to Julie.
The boys, especially Luke, were a little grumbly about her taking time away from their music. Once she explained that this was to make money for the band, they’d felt a little better about it. They still weren’t over the moon, but the pouting had definitely decreased.
This is how Julie found herself with a job that she knew really wasn’t that awful but was exhausting none-the-less.
Build-a-Bear.
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The boys were really enjoying the fact that summer meant more time with Julie, even if she did have her new job at the mall. Reggie in particular loved having the extra people around. There was always something going on with Carlos and he’d made numerous trips to baseball practice, or to the park, or whatever was going on.
Today though, after much begging and pleading with Julie, she’d finally relented to let him tag along to her job. For the most part she’d forbidden them from visiting, saying that her job was chaotic enough without throwing three teenage ghost boys into the mix, but Reggie had just been so intrigued.
Build a Bear was apparently a place for kids where they came and made stuffed animals and you could add hearts and costumes and name them. To him that sounded like possibly the best place in the world.
When he was younger, he’d had a small chocolate brown teddy bear that he carried around with him anywhere. It came with him for the first day of kindergarten, and most days after until he found Luke. Then Sir Reginald, as the teddy bear was known as, would stay in his backpack, just in case. It’d been his support during all of the fighting, and he’d hold tight every time he hid in his closet trying to drown out the noise.
In truth, he’d never really grown out of his teddy bear but it was early middle school when Luke discovered there was a way to climb in through Reggie’s window and soon it was Luke sitting with him in the closet or pulling him out of the house to the studio to play music and wander the beach.
How exactly did one make a stuffed animal he thought? It seemed like it would take a long time sewing all of the pieces together and stuffing it? That’s a lot of work, do kids really enjoy it?? So he was very curious about this Build a Bear, especially when Julie exclaimed that they sold more than just bears! He could Build a Dog or a Turtle or maybe A DRAGON. He had no idea what he was going to find, but he was so excited to find out.
Reggie poofed into the store sometime that afternoon and immediately felt his eyes widen. This. Was. The. Best. Stuffed animals lined the walls of all shapes and kinds and colors. He stood in a sea of kids all running and screaming in sheer joy and he got it. If Julie hadn’t already spotted him, he would absolutely be doing laps right now. But he promised and he really wanted to try and keep the promise that he would be on his best behavior.
He took in the plastered on smile that edged just a little bit toward frantic, her tense posture, and the kids that were lightly tugging on her arms and knew he really couldn’t- “OH MY GOD JULIE IS THAT A STAR WARS BEAR.” He shrieked upon seeing what was clearly a teddy bear but it LOOOKED LIKE DARTH VADER and before he knew it he was poofing over to Julie, tugging on her arm much like the children while speaking so fast it sounded like a blur even to him “JulieJulieJulieJulieJulieJuliePrettyPleaseJulieCanIHaveTheBearJulieIt’sStarWarsITSSTARWARSJULIE.”
All of a sudden Julie was laughing and he stepped back to give her a curious look. Had he broken her? He hadn’t meant to break her. OH NO what was Luke going to say if he broke Julie? And Alex? Oh god please let her not be broken.
But soon he saw the soft smile playing on her lips, a genuine one this time. He smiled back at her and he watched her give him a small nod in a different direction. His eyes followed where she was indicating, and he felt his mouth drop open. There was a soft tan bear with kind of curly fur and its feet had this soft pink material on it. And he couldn’t say what about the bear it was, but it felt like he was looking at Alex.
Reggie quickly glanced at the name, “Timeless Bear” and he smiled. That was all of them exactly. Julie had come to stand next to him, and whispered softly “we can make that one, deal?” Reggie nodded, joy spreading through him quickly and he couldn’t stop his excitement from making him bounce.
Julie had a horde of kids following behind her and Reggie joined them, fitting right in if he wasn’t taller than them. And a ghost. Julie had picked up what looked like a deflated version of the bear and understanding was slowly started to dawn on how this whole process worked. But he still couldn’t figure out how they were going to all stuff and sew it.
Julie led them to this small open space and he watched all the children sit down, so Reggie followed along. In front of them was this huge machine and Reggie stared at it in awe. Was that? Was it filled with stuffing??? This was so cool! He was almost too distracted to miss Julie’s speech. Something about waiting your turn and choosing the softness levels and adding the heart.
Wait. The heart? Reggie tuned back in.
“Alright everyone, you will all need to pick a heart for your new friend.” Reggie’s eye grew wide. The shuffling of kids drew him to the little boxes filled with soft satin hearts. They were all in shades of red and pink and checkered. Julie was there talking with the kids to help him decide when he spotted a heart that was the exact same shade as Alex’s favorite sweatshirt. He pointed with a small voice and said that one. Julie picked it up as they all headed back to the big machine.
“Of course we can’t just put a heart inside our new friend. We’ve got to get it going with some magic first.” Reggie’s eyes widened, watching as Julie charmed the kids into believing with her. “First, we’ve got to rub the heart between our hands to make it warm.” All of the kids followed suit, and even though he knew Julie had the heart for his new friend between her hands he still followed suit. “Next, let’s add a little excitement! We can jump up and down for this one. Gotta have a spring in our step after all.”
“Now, give it a big hug so your new friend knows you’ll always be there for him.” Julie was making eye contact with him now and he could feel himself tearing up a little.
“Finally, make a wish and whisper it into your heart.” Reggie whispered into his hands “I wish I could stay with my brothers forever.” He didn’t know what Julie whispered to his heart, but he trusted her.
The kids bounced around in excitement, not feeling the gravity that was shifting around them. Julie stared for one long moment at Reggie before turning back to them with a smile and beginning the process of stuffing the bears. Reggie gasped so loud he made Julie whip her head around at him. THAT was how they did it. The machine did the stuffing and then it was just a quick close up! He watched the kids get their new stuffie one by one and then take them over to the “grooming” stations where you could brush them and “bathe” them before finding outfits. Reggie wandered over to the clothing section and admired all the selections. There were fancy dresses and Halloween costumes and pajamas and sports outfits and fanny packs.
WAIT. He shrieked with joy and immediately started clapping and jumping around. There in the accessories was a little black fanny pack. He started searching more thoroughly now. There wasn’t a pink sweatshirt but oooh! Was that a pink shirt! And and a baseball cap. YES.
He turned around to find Julie only to discover she was on the last kid. He walked over to her and stood patiently by as she heaved a sigh of relief. Waving them off. “Ready Reggie?” He nodded and shook in excitement. “Here!” She handed him the little pink heart and for a second he could only stare at it. But then he held it tightly in his hands and whispered in his mind.
You will be Alexander. You are the greatest drummer and one of the greatest friends a guy could have. You will be there for every heartache, panic attack, and moment of joy. You are sarcastic, but there for us anyway. Just wait until you meet the real Alex.
Julie nudged him, ready for the heart and watched as the limp piece of fabric became almost real. He didn’t give Julie much time after she finished before dragging her to his clothing selections. She giggled the whole time though, he knew that although she might act exasperated she was having as much as him. She approved of all the clothing choices, and offered one additional thing.
A small rainbow flag that had a band so it looked like the bear was holding it.
Reggie watched it all come together. He took one look at the dressed up bear and exclaimed- “It’s ALEX!!! I have to go show him!!! Thanks Julie” He gave her a quick hug and poofed away before anybody could wonder why that bear was floating.
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What comes next? - A JATP fic
So this is my new jatp fic, and my first that’s not just a one-shot. It’s basically me writing what I think happens next with the band. By the time season two comes around, it’ll be irrelevant, but right now, it’s a bit of fun. We’ll see how it goes. Thanks for reading x
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Even if I’m the last standing, I’mma stand tall, stand tall.
Luke savoured that last drawn out note like he always did. This was his favourite moment of every show, listening to Julie drag out the final note of his favourite song they’d written.
The crowd cheered and the boys stood next to Julie, waving at the audience with her. Luke thought that was one of the best things about their new abilities, being able to stick around on stage as long as they wanted. It was almost his favourite part—almost.
He held Julie’s hand as the four of them took a bow together. They knew it would cause more questions about how her holograms worked, but Luke didn’t care. He loved being able to hold her hand at the end of the night.
The boys disappeared back stage and waited for Julie to join them in the green room.
As soon as the door opened, they were waiting to surprise her, like always.
“Julie!” they all yelled in unison.
She didn’t even jump anymore. They all embraced in a hug and cheered excitedly.
“That was definitely one of our best,” Luke said excitedly, breaking the hug and dropping onto the couch with a satisfactory sigh. “We’ve gotta be getting calls from managers soon.”
“Any day now,” Julie said, smiling at him.
In the month since the Orpheum show, they’d gotten a few calls to open for a number of local shows. With Julie still needing to go to school, they’d had to turn down a few, so this was only their third gig.
There was a knock on the green room door and Julie answered.
“Just me, mija,” her dad stuck his head through the door. “You were so amazing out there."
"Thanks dad." His unwavering support was one of the things that continued to inspire her most.
Ray hated that he had to disappoint her, but he also had to be a good parent. "I know you wanna stick around for the other bands, but you have school tomorrow.”
A disappointed, but understanding look settled on Julie’s face. “Yeah, I know. I just need five minutes to change. I’ll meet you out the front.”
That was the deal. Julie could play the occasional show on a school night, but she wasn’t allowed to be out for the whole night.
The boys looked at her after her dad left. “You really can’t stick around?” Reggie asked.
“No, I promised,” Julie reminded him. “After the last time, I’m surprised I was able to get him to agree to any school night shows. But you guys should definitely stay and watch the other bands,” she told them.
Reggie looked at Luke and Alex.
“No, it’s all good, we’ll meet you at home,” Luke said, sitting up.
Julie shook her head. “No, really. You should get to know some of the music you’ve been missing out on. You need to get caught up if we’re going to start playing with some of these bands.”
Luke was torn. He wanted to go back to Julie’s and hang out in the studio with her and the boys, but he loved watching live music almost as much as he loved playing it.
“Well,” Julie said, while the boys thought about what to do. “Whatever you decide, right now you need to leave the room so I can change.”
The boys complied and went out to watch the second band that was playing after them. Just before the band finished, Alex spotted Julie walking out, so the boys poofed outside to wish her goodnight.
When they got there, Julie wasn’t alone—she was talking to Nick.
What’s he doing here? Luke thought, feeling the envy rising in him.
They walked through the crowd to Julie as Nick was giving her a hug goodbye.
“Thanks so much for coming, Nick,” Julie said politely.
He smiled at her. “Anytime, Julie. I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”
Luke had noticed that Nick had started calling her Julie, rather than Molina like he usually did, and it irked him. He also hadn't missed one of their shows. That kid was relentless when it came to pursuing her, but Luke was sure there was some other, real, reason he didn’t trust Nick.
Nick left and Julie turned around to see the boys. She realised they were keeping themselves unseen so she pulled out her phone and put it to her ear. “What are you guys doing? I told you to stay.”
“We’re going to, we just wanted to say goodnight,” Alex said.
Luke added, “And just say again what an awesome job you did tonight.”
She smiled at him, tucking her hair behind her other ear. “Thanks, you guys rocked, too.” Looking over Reggie’s shoulder, Julie saw her dad coming. “Okay, gotta go. Have a good night and I’ll see you guys in the morning.”
“Ready to go, Julie?” her dad asked, walking right through Reggie as she put her phone away.
Julie gave one more smile to the boys. “Yeah, let’s go,” she said to her dad.
Ray took her bag and flung it over his shoulder as they walked to the car. “Bye, Ray,” Reggie said with a smile and a wave. He wanted so badly to make himself visible and end the one-sidedness of his friendship with Ray, but he knew it wasn’t time yet.
Luke shook his head at Reggie and said, “Alright guys, let’s check out this band, then we’ll hit the clubs and find some more music.”
On the way back in, Luke brushed through a girl and got a weird feeling. When he looked back at her, he realised she must have felt it, too.
The girl was as tall as Luke, but older—definitely in her early twenties. Luke got a feeling he’d seen her before, but he couldn’t remember where.
After shaking off the weird feeling she'd had, the girl walked away, her blonde curls bouncing as she walked with purpose out of the venue.
“Luke, you coming?” Alex asked.
Luke turned back to the boys. “Yeah, wait up.”
Julie was almost at the car when her phone started ringing. “Hello?” she answered the unknown number.
“Hi, is this Julie?” a polite, female voice said. Julie confirmed it was. “My name’s Cameron, I must have missed you at your show just now, but I work for the Ghosted Group. A contact at The Orpheum gave me your details.”
“Oh, yeah, I couldn’t stay,” Julie explained, trying to keep calm at the fact someone from the freaking Ghosted Group had called her. “School tomorrow.”
“Of course, that’s fair,” Cameron said. “Well, would it be okay to meet with you and your band mates tomorrow? After school of course.”
Julie did a little dance. “Yes, of course. If you come by our studio, I can set up the hologram to connect with the guys. I’ll text you the address.”
“Sounds perfect, let me know what time, and I will see you then.”
“Thank you, so much,” Julie said and hung up. She suddenly wished the boys hadn’t stayed at the venue, but she didn’t have any way to tell them about the phone call until she saw them in the morning.
This was the call they’d been waiting for. Just one step closer to greatness.
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So, I don’t even really know what else to say, except I hope you’ll keep reading. I won’t be posting full chapters on tumblr after this, so make sure to bookmark the story on ao3 here. Thanks again for reading, you’re all wonderful x
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null and voided
Crypto | Park Tae Joon/Wraith | Renee Blasey; voidwalker timeline; hurt/comfort; voidwalker/whitelisted; apex rarepair week; 1563 words
a/n: and here’s where i show you just how unhinged i am.
SO. FOR CONTEXT. me and a friend (it’s mr tumblr user the-goolings, nate) have an au/plotline for the voidwalker timeline seen in wraith’s original story short, with voidwalker being... voidwalker, and her guy in the chair helping her out is crypto, who is originally in his hired gun skin variant before being captured by the syndicate and like... half-cyborged? before he escaped to wait for her while she went about with her revenge. it’s fucked! but anyways they make me feel and they’re in LOVE. please ask me more about this au if you’re so inclined i have. a lot
a very late day 6 for @apex-rarepairweek, hurt/comfort!
likes < reblogs, any comments in the tags are appreciated
ao3 mirror in the reblogs!
Preview: Renee pushed away some of the schematics for the parts in his chest cavity, folding her arms across the dining table and resting her head on top of him, turning to keep an eye on him as he was sleeping… no, as he was shut off. He was hardly human, he’d said so himself, he didn’t sleep. ...But that wasn’t right, was it. He still lived, and felt, just as she did, and although he didn’t breathe and eat he still existed by her side like he always did, and that was as human as it got, right? [...] “God, Tae, how did this happen?”
The only sounds echoing through the apartment were the loud contact of metal on metal, small curses and larger ones, and electricity crackling between two loose wires with a frustrated grumble. Old Chinese food boxes laid strewn around the apartment, old clothes discarded without a second thought, a blanket thrown over the couch like a makeshift bed, and the dining table taken over with tools and schematics, first person pronouns littering the notes of parts and functions. The radio at one end of the table quietly played the news, news of wars and violence that was just white noise against the gentle scraping of metal.
Renee cursed to herself again, slamming the screwdriver back down on the table as she sat up and rolled her shoulder, scowling a little. She was learning this as she was going along, which was hard when the handwriting on your only guide was illegible most of the time. Running a hand down her face, her fingers parted for a moment, and she dared to steal a glance down at the body resting on the sofa that she’d dragged into the dining room, at the way the metal reflected the synthetic lights, how peaceful he looked, like a… fucked up, cyborg sleeping beauty, eyes closed and chest wide open, exposing the wires and components that kept him alive. How her friend, her partner, her lover, Taejoon Park, was sitting there, half human and half machine, and how she was repairing him for the third time that week.
Getting back to their timeline had been a mess. She’d done what they’d been fighting for all this time, saving herself from another dimension in her place, barely surviving by the skin of her teeth. Sometimes she could still feel the blood of the man who had ruined her life splashing onto her face, remembering the feeling of his skull as it marbled in her grip with every bash against the wall, and she couldn’t tell if that felt good or not. But what didn’t feel good was stumbling back into their own quiet, secluded apartment, practically tripping through a portal, delirious from blood loss, leaning a shoulder up against the wall as she shook off the heavy gear and dragged her blood along the paint, and seeing a man who seemed so familiar but still so strange rushing to meet her, staring at her as if he was an illusion. She wondered if that was just what he was - he looked like Taejoon, looked at her like he used to, lips parting in the same way as he brought a hand up to her face to hold her, but his touch was cold, metallic and unwelcoming, but all the same, it was him, surely?
The way his nightmares haunted him, and the way he gripped for her in his sleep as if she would leave him, all but confirmed it.
It was the Syndicate, he’d said. Got to him when he was gone. Tortured him, barely kept him alive, involuntarily entered him into a simulacrum program, where he escaped with the last of his humanity and had been living in isolation for months before she’d gotten home. He didn’t sleep, or eat - he didn’t need to, not anymore. He just listened to the sounds of his own parts functioning, and wondered what it would be like to hear them stop. He’d taken down all the mirrors, covered the windows and any other reflections, making sure that he didn’t have to see himself, and what he was forced to become. Tried to find Mila by himself, he’d said, but he kept flipping between hopelessness and sheer mania, trashing the apartment before fixing it again to trash it again. All while she was dimensions away, totally unaware that the man who helped her get this far was barely hanging on, waiting for her to come home.
It wasn’t her fault. Not by any means, and Taejoon had told her as much. But now that what she’d made her life’s purpose was just another page in the book of her personal history, it was all she could think about. Renee pushed away some of the schematics for the parts in his chest cavity, folding her arms across the dining table and resting her head on top of him, turning to keep an eye on him as he was sleeping… no, as he was shut off. He was hardly human, he’d said so himself, he didn’t sleep. ...But that wasn’t right, was it. He still lived, and felt, just as she did, and although he didn’t breathe and eat he still existed by her side like he always did, and that was as human as it got, right? She let out a sigh, shaking as she did so, biting her lip as her eyes started to well with tears, continuing to watch him and remembering the times he’d fall asleep, just like this, at his desk, working for hours for her sake and his own, as she’d wrap a blanket over his shoulder and ruffle his hair with a gentle kiss to the temple-
“God, Tae, how did this happen?” She whispered to herself, breaking down and turning her head away to sob against her forearm, unable to stop herself, her whole body shaking with the force of it, bottled up day in and day out of repairs. Had she let him down? What had they become? Zombies, searching for truth and revenge, the syndicate one step in front with a knife behind their back. She’d gotten revenge in one dimension, but what about the countless others she saw in her sleep, the voices that followed her everywhere and the void that beckoned for soulless company-
She held in a breath at the familiar whining sound of servo’s releasing locked up air, fans kicking in as a single robotic eye looked around, making noise with every movement. Renee rubbed her eyes against her arm before she sat up, forcing a light smirk. “Hey. I’m not finished, why’d you-”
“Forced startup. Syndicate slave code.” Even now, it was hard to get used to the slight crackle in his voice as he spoke, as he moved his hand to point to the back of his neck.
“We gotta get that fixed.”
“...Have you been crying?”
She froze. “I- no, it’s nothing-”
“Renee…”
“Don’t ‘Renee’ me, Tae.” She almost snapped, not wanting the pity, before she felt herself deflate. “I said it’s nothing, OK?”
She listened to the way his cybernetic eye moved to look her up and down, moving his hands to support himself as he slowly sat up. “Wait, no, I’m not-”
“Quiet.”
“What- no, let me finish my work first.”
He closed up his ribcage with a light click, looking up to her as she rolled her eyes. “There. No more work.”
“That’s only going to wreck itself later, and you’re going to complain, you know that, right?”
“I don’t matter right now. All that matters is you.”
Though she slightly softened, Renee opened her mouth to speak again, only cutting herself off as he put a hand against her cheek - it was cold, but still so warm, and full of love, as he ran a hand across her cheek.
Taejoon moved his hand up to across her freshly shaven (another bad episode with the void, instinctive) head - the metal was cold against her skin, enough to make her flinch a little, but she stayed, almost leaning into it like a cat would, as he gave her a tired smile, moving his hand to hold her face, fingers still stroking what little hair was above her ears. “Kiwi…”
Renee paused, opening her eyes and cocking an eyebrow as she held onto his wrist. “Did… you just call me a kiwi?”
“Mhm… you’re soft and fuzzy.”
She looked at him, chuckling and scoffing a little, shaking her head. “I can’t believe you. Remind me never to cry about you again.”
“Noted. I would never want you to, regardless.”
“But you know I will. We’re just made that way.”
Taejoon hummed, looking down, almost defeated.
She sighed and pressed her forehead against his, touching what little of his skin was left, listening to the way his eyes closed and gears kicked into overdrive at the soft physical contact, chuckling to herself. “I love you, Tae.”
“Yeah… yeah. I love you too.”.
“We’re gonna be OK, I promise.” Her voice was quieter now, only for her entire world, as she opened her eyes to look at him, almost blinded by his as he looked back at her.
“As long as we’re together, I don’t think we’ll ever be OK.” Despite himself, Taejoon laughed, her voice gaining that familiar crackle to it as he moved his hand down from her head to her shoulder. “But I suppose… that’s just fine with me.”
Renee moved herself back a little to go in again, moving in to plant a kiss against his lips, slow and deliberate. He was cold to the touch but warm with the love and care for her he felt with every fiber of his being, both what little of him remained and everything that had been replaced, as he returned the kiss, the bells and whistles all going off in harmony as she chuckled into the kiss they shared, feeling a gentle slap against her arm.
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High! Here's a prompt idea: Lucien and Elain going on a date.
Yes. This is adorable and I support. They might be mates but they still gotta get to know each other <3 Also fun fact this sent twice for some reason xD Gotta love tumblr right?
So here’s something cute. I hope you like it. Also, I’m obsessed with how Lucien calls her lady in acowar the one time they really spoke alone. Also it got longer than expected so it’s under the cut. But wholesomeness
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There had been a lot of chaos following the battle. A lot of recovery, people returning to their rightful places and just overall confusion. But as the dust began to settle, Elain had finally found herself wanting to know more. So she’d hunted down Feyre and asked her about mates. And in turn, Feyre had directed her to Rhys, claiming he’d do a better job at describing it.
It felt interesting to her, that there was this idea of a potentially perfect person for her. She’d once thought that was Greyson until her body had been changed against her will. And his love had been fragile enough to break for it. And seeing how well it worked out for Feyre, she almost wanted to see if she could have that too.
But it didn’t stop her from being surprised when Lucien returned, despite her own encouragement that he should return. But still, she could see the way he watched her.
It took her a little bit to approach him, but she did.
“Hello,” she greeted.
He looked almost surprised by her interaction, cheeks blushing slightly. “Hello, lady.”
“How was the spring court?” She’d gotten the information from her sister about where Lucien had been.
That surprise only lingered, as if he hadn’t expected her to care about his whereabouts. “It was—It was as good as could be expected.” He’d felt rather at a loss there. It lost the feeling of home sometime even before he left.
“Are you going to stay long?” she asked him, quietly.
He gave a small shrug. “I’m not sure.”
Elain nodded, understanding. There was a lot to do, and he certainly played a vital piece of it. There was a moment of awkward silence between them.
“Feyre told me about a restaurant in the city that is really good,” she started. “But everyone is too busy to go…”
She felt nervous, shy to even be bringing this up. She had never been the one to do any kind of asking. And she wasn’t making it an excuse. Everyone was too busy to go with her, to take her. They all had important things to do and she….she didn’t. Even Nesta was the Emissary to the Human lands. Elain didn’t even know what she could do. But such offers had been given to her, and she was fairly certain it was because no one could think of anything useful she could do. Even she couldn’t when her only skills had included the social season, gardening, and now she was learning how to cook with Nuala and Cerridwen.
But Lucien seemed to understand what she was trying to say. “If you like, I will go with you, lady,” he offered gently. “I think it would be nice if we got to spend some time together.”
She smiled, brightly enough to light the room, as she had in the aftermath of the battle, knowing that she had her sisters. Though her heart had been broken by her father’s death, he died to protect his daughters. “I would like that, I think,” she told him.
He looked at himself and towards the stairs. They both resided up stairs on opposite ends of the hall. Though he planned to rectify that soon enough. He wanted his own space, and didn’t feel like living in a house with so many people again. “I would like to get cleaned up though. And we’ll find out where that restaurant is and head out,” he offered.
___
A few hours later Lucien waited by the small entry hall to the house. Elain had changed. She wore a dress of pale green with simple floral embroidery in a shade only a touch darker. She might have been a member of the night court, but Elain herself, with her honey gold hair—a pink flower tucked into a small partial braid—emanated spring. Lucien couldn’t help the smile as he saw her.
He himself had chosen a simple, but nice outfit himself. A tunic of green—an unintended coincidence no doubt—and dark brown pants. For a moment he almost felt underdressed, but she beamed at him, as if it didn’t matter to her. And he’d gotten directions from Rhysand earlier.
He held out an arm for her. “Shall we, lady?”
She nodded and took his arm, following his lead outside. She had been wanting to see more of the city, now that things were settling, now that she was sorting herself out. And it was nice to have the chance to get to know Lucien, regardless of the bond between them, knowing how much he’d meant to Feyre.
They walked in a silence for a bit, before Elain managed to speak, “I see why Feyre loves this city so much. It’s so pretty.”
Lucien glanced down at her before looking around them. “It is certainly unlike anything I imagined in the night court.”
“What do you mean by that?”
Lucien paused, realizing that she had come from a different world basically, and hadn’t grown up with the rumors. “The night court…it always had a bit of an unsavory reputation,” he explained carefully. “But now I know it was because this is what they’d been protecting.”
Elain remained quiet at that, not quite sure what to say. Though she could understand wanting to protect such a place.
“There are some beautiful gardens,” she said.
“Have you always liked gardens?”
She thought for a moment. “No. and yes, I suppose. Before…before my father had lost everything, before my mother died, our parents were always preoccupied. So I spent a lot of time in our gardens. When…when we lost everything, Feyre would buy seeds for me. And I found comfort in gardening.”
Lucien smiled, finding it sweet. But she continued to speak. “I still don’t understand why she did. I…could have done so much more. But I didn’t know what. Still, sometimes there were vegetables in that garden, and I made sure that those grew. And when everything came back to us, it was almost overwhelming. So I kept the gardens myself.”
“If I know anything about wealthy households, the servants likely didn’t respond well.”
She laughed, and it was such a beautiful, soft sound. But she shook her head. “No, they thought I was crazy…But I find gardens to be a piece of beauty. And peace.”
Lucien understood. Finding something that brought peace was important after war.
They managed to find their way in a peaceful quietness, enjoying the beauty of Velaris, to the restaurant. Sevenda’s. They were seated at a small table out sight of prying eyes. Both of them were known even here.
“Thank you for coming with me,” Elain said quietly when they were settled.
“It is my pleasure, lady,” Lucien responded.
She watched him carefully. “What does it mean to you? For us to be mates?”
That metal eye whirred and Elain could see the shock on his face. He hadn’t expected her to go there. He certainly hadn’t planned on bringing it up himself. So he thought about it for a moment.
“Well, finding my mate is something I always wanted…most males do,” he admitted. “It’s a rare and special thing. Of course, it’s not always the best match, but everyone hopes for it.”
Elain took a sip from her glass and continued to watch him. Waiting for him to answer the whole question.
“I am glad to know my mate is someone like you. And I’m glad to know you,” he said. “But I don’t want to force it either. Though, I have to admit, it goes against every instinct.”
She gave a shy smile, but nodded. Rhys had explained that to her.
When she still hadn’t spoken, Lucien glanced at her. “I would like to see if it could be a good match, for both of us. If that is something you’d like.”
“I want to get to know you,” she answered. “But I am still hurting, from losing Greyson.”
She felt it was only fair to tell him, to warn him that she had things to sort through.
“I am sorry, that it didn’t work out.”
Her smile turned a little sad. “Thank you.”
Lucien felt like he wasn’t good at this. But he’d courted Jesminda. His own personal heartbreak to remember.
Sevenda came back by, taking their orders before bustling off to the kitchen, leaving them alone again.
“What’s your favorite color?” Elain asked suddenly. Such a simple, sweet question.
“I think I found I always favored yellow,” he answered. “What is yours?”
“Pink. Like that of a cherry blossom.”
Soft and delicate, just like her.
Their food came out shortly after, and they ate, finding light topics to discuss. Lucien discovered that Elain enjoyed reading light romance novels, apparently she and Nesta both did. And that she’d recently taken up cooking, wanting to learn what she felt she should have years ago.
By the end of their outing, they’d found a certain level of comfort in each other’s company, and Elain walked just a little closer to him as they made their way back to the house.
“Thank you, for your company, Lucien,” Elain said as they entered the house and stood at the base of the stairs. Lucien immediately was aware of Feyre standing at the top of the stairs. Likely wanting to know that her sister was alright.
“It was my pleasure, Lady,” he answered, taking her hand and kissing it. Elain’s cheeks blushed a pretty red, and it was a sight he could get used to. “Any time you wish my company, I will be happy to oblige.”
Elain gave him one more smile before taking a few steps up the stairs. She paused to turn and looked at him, height about even, before she leaned in and kissed his cheek. Then she made her way up the stairs, likely to change and go to bed. But Lucien smiled after her.
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Sightseeing
Chapter 3
Pairing: Siane x Nanu
Fandom: Pokemon
Rating: T
Read on AO3
Chapter 1 on Tumblr | Chapter 2 on Tumblr
My writing commission info!
Summary: Siane hadn't meant to wind up in Alola, under Nanu's care, while she recovered from a mysterious illness that left her prone to weakness and collapsing. But now that she's here and getting stronger, she wants to see more of Ula'ula than just the rainy skies and the Po Town wall by Nanu's police station. And who could be better suited to give her a tour than the Kahuna of the island himself?
Notes: Siane is the wonderful HybridDragoness’ OC, you can find her art of Siane here! You can also find Hybrid on Twitter and AO3 under the same handle as on Tumblr! For anyone who hasn’t seen yet, Hybrid has done some amazing art of a scene of her commission here!
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“So, observatory next?” Siane asks, once again dipping her feet in the water.
“Hmm,” Nanu hums, checking his watch. The day is ticking by surprisingly fast, and he wants her to see Ula’ula Meadow more than anything else, at this point. “Depends on how fast we can get back to the bus stop. Buses leave for Mount Hokulani every 30 minutes, usually, so…”
“Okay,” Siane agrees, pulling her feet out and picking up the remains of their lunch. She stuffs all the trash into one of the brown bags and goes to pull her shoes back on.
“There should be a trash can right over there. I’ll be right back,” Nanu says, grabbing the brown bag and standing. He’s right; the trash can is still just around the corner, and he drops their garbage in, moseying back to Siane and trying to mull through his thoughts a little.
To his surprise, Siane’s up on her feet and walking to meet him.
“If we’ve gotta make it to the bus stop for the half hour, we’ve gotta hurry, Nanu!” She exclaims, a smile breaking across her features. “C’mon -”
And then Nanu’s heart stops as her legs give out under her and she drops.
He’s close enough to her that he can rush forward and catch her before she hits the ground. She falls mostly onto his shoulder, and his hands support her around her waist. If he weren’t wearing pants, he’d probably have skinned his knees diving for her; as it is all he has is a little bit of fabric burn.
“Siane!” Nanu shouts, gathering the girl up in his arms. He rearranges her slumped form so that he’s almost holding her princess-style. To his relief, she stirs in his arms.
“I went down, huh?” She asks, blinking blearily up at him.
“Yeah,” Nanu says, pressing one hand to her forehead. She’s a little warm, but nothing bad, and he can’t help but cradle her a little closer to his body with his other arm. “You okay?”
“More or less,” she admits. She always seems a little shaken after collapsing, but who can blame her? Nanu figures he would be, too. “Mostly thanks to you. Thanks for catching me.”
“Of course,” Nanu returns, and though he tries to make his voice surly, it just comes across as soft. “I’ll always try to catch you.”
Siane blinks at this admission, then sits up, using Nanu’s shoulders for a little bit of support.
“Well,” she smiles. “Guess that makes you my hero in more ways than one. Now c’mon - help me stand up.”
Nanu obliges in silence, pulling the young woman to her feet easily.
What did “my hero in more ways than one” mean? Did she already consider him her hero?
The thought makes his chest swell with the same sense of pride he’d felt upon imagining showing Siane the island he loved.
“Let’s skip the observatory today,” Nanu says, letting go of Siane, though he lingers closer than ever before - just in case. “You’re getting more worn down from all of this than you’d like to admit.” Siane goes to open her mouth, but Nanu continues, not letting her get a word in edgewise. “Besides - I really want to show you the Ula’ula Meadow today. You’ll like that more than the observatory, anyway.”
“Yeah?” Siane asks, apparently somewhat mollified.
“Yeah. There’s not much to the observatory during the day, anyway. I’ll take you at night sometime.”
Siane smiles and starts to walk; she’s a little unsteady on her feet, so Nanu continues to linger close.
“Is that a promise?” She asks coyly. Nanu snorts, a lopsided smirk pulling at his lips.
“Yeah, Siane. I promise,” he returns, and he wonders why, exactly, it feels like he’s just gotten a pretty young thing to agree to a future date with him.
“You seemed more excited about the Ride Charizard than you were about the Ride Tauros,” Nanu observes, quirking one eyebrow at Siane as they walk together, approaching Ula’Ula Meadow. He’d been hesitant to put her back on a Charizard again now that she’d dropped once today. At least on a Tauros, the fall would be relatively minimal, and the Pokemon could be urged to walk slowly under the guise of observing the scenery.
“The Ride Tauros was good, too,” Siane says mildly. “And he was great at his job! Very mellow and soothing to ride. It’s just…” Siane trails off for a moment, a smile playing across her lips. “It doesn’t get better than flying, you know?”
Nanu hums in acknowledgement, feeling his lips tug up into a smile in return.
“You’re sure you’re feeling up to walking through the Meadow?” He asks after a beat, holding a tree branch out of the way for Siane as they meander through the thicket that is the entrance to the Ula’Ula’ Meadow. “I could call the Ride Tauros back…”
“No, I’m all right,” Siane insists. “If this place is as gorgeous as you say it is, I want to walk and take it all in. Besides,” she says with a playful smirk. “If I have any issues, I know my big hero will catch me, right?” She bumps Nanu’s shoulder teasingly with her own, walking past him.
Nanu is rooted to the spot for a minute, unable to come up with a response. Big hero? Him?
Finally, he lets go of the tree branch and follows after Siane.
“Yeah,” he mumbles. “Something like that.”
A moment later, the pair step into Ula’ula Meadow proper, and whatever thoughts Nanu had been having about Siane’s quip disappear. This is the moment he’s been waiting for all day - the chance to show off what he, privately, thinks of as the most gorgeous part of the island,
He’s not disappointed. Siane stops dead in her tracks, taking in a sharp breath. Her eyes widen and scan the scenery in front of her, the brilliant colors of the endless fields of dancing flowers reflected in her gaze.
And then a pair of Baile Oricorio swoop and chitter, dancing in the air across the meadow. Another pair follow soon after, their brilliant red and black feathers flashing in the sun, but Nanu isn’t watching them. He’s watching Siane.
A brilliant smile breaks across her face, and she follows the Oricorio until they disappear from sight. Her eyes linger a moment where they’d vanished; then she turns to Nanu, affixing him with the full force of her beauty.
“Did you see them? The four birds?” She asks breathlessly. “They were gorgeous. This whole place is - it’s beyond gorgeous. It feels like a waking dream.”
Nanu feels his stomach twist under the brilliance of her smile, her enthusiasm, and it’s only then that he starts to realize that he’s possibly getting in over his head. He hasn’t felt like this in…so long.
He takes a deep breath in to steady himself and lets it out slowly, a soft smile pulling at his lips.
“I’m glad you like it,” he says. “Ula’ula Meadow is the gem of this island, in my opinion.”
“I can’t believe you’re kahuna of all of this,” she breathes, turning to gesture at the endless flower fields. Nanu ducks his head and puts his hands in his pockets, but Siane continues. “That’s pretty amazing, you know.”
“You’ll make me blush, carrying on like that,” Nanu grumbles, but Siane catches the way he can’t quite suppress that soft smile she’d seen earlier.
“Oh?” Siane says, quirking one eyebrow up at him. “I didn’t even know you could blush. I don’t think I’ve seen you blush once, in the whole time I’ve been with you.” She grins teasingly at him, then steps into the meadow, treading the path carefully. Nanu follows behind her, staying close as always. “I bet you probably turn as red as these flowers when you do blush,” Siane laughs, gesturing at the swaying fields. Nanu snorts, but doesn’t respond. He honestly can’t remember how red he does or doesn’t get when he blushes. In the distance, an Oricorio calls, then darts across the meadow again. “Or as red as those birds,” Siane murmurs, suddenly entranced. “What are they?”
“They’re called Oricorio. They come in several forms across Alola. This is the Baile form,” he explains.
“Fire Type?” Siane guesses.
“Yup. And Flying secondary type,” Nanu affirms. “They actually change form depending on the type of nectar they consume.”
“Really?” Siane asks, the fascination clear in her voice. “That’s pretty interesting, from both a biological and conservation standpoint. I’m going to want to hear more about that. What kind of form changes do they undergo?”
Nanu starts telling her about the types of forms Oricorio come in, and which nectar influences which form, but soon, they’re at a crossroads in the Meadow. Siane pauses just as Nanu’s finishing up about the Sensu Oricorio, and he walks past her, gesturing down the right direction.
“This way to get back home,” he says.
Siane continues to ask Nanu some questions about Oricorio as they walk, especially about the different types of nectar and what ecosystems they thrive in, and the two of them fall into an easy, companionable conversation. Nanu leads the way through the Meadow, which, with its twists and turns, could seem rather maze-like to the unfamiliar.
And then, Siane falls oddly silent, no longer peppering him with little questions or making noises of interest as he talks about the nectar. Nanu glances over his shoulder, concern clenching around his heart - had she fallen, and he’d failed to catch her?
But no - she’s on her feet, just distracted by something. He follows her line of sight, eventually landing on the distant outline of the giant shrine perched in the Lake of the Sunne. Its stone form is impressive, but Nanu can’t help but feel a sense of foreboding as he looks at it, as well.
Some things would be best left alone.
“What’s that?” Siane asks.
“It’s an ancient shrine,” Nanu says, trying to keep his answer as clipped as possible. It doesn’t work - of course it doesn’t, he thinks to himself.
“What kind of shrine?” Siane presses.
Nanu sighs.
“I…don’t know if the shrine itself has a name, anymore. But it’s all a part of the Lake of the Sunne. It’s an ancient cultural site,” he explains.
“Really?” Siane asks, her curiosity growing. Nanu groans internally; this isn’t going well. “We had shrines back home in Aedis. Actually, some of them were connected to the sun, as well.” She takes a few steps towards the path that leads to the Lake, drawn as if by an invisible force.
Nanu’s heart clenches, and he puts one hand on Siane’s shoulder, using enough strength to stop her from advancing any further.
“Where do you think you’re going?” He asks, sounding gruff for the first time all day.
“Well, I was just thinking…there’s a path, and it looks pretty clear,” she suggests, her optimistic expression withering at the darkness that passes over Nanu’s face.
The last thing he’s going to let happen is to allow her to go there.
“That place is dangerous, Siane. It’s old and dilapidated and literally falling apart in the water. The last time I was in there,” he starts, then pauses as a cold chill passes over him. He clears his throat, and finds it within himself to continue. “The floor was close to breaking through in some places, and there was a lot of water damage causing frequent rockfalls. I can’t - you can’t - expect yourself to be able to stay safe in a place as dangerous as that. Not while you’re…” he trails off, letting the unfinished implication hang in the air. Siane scowls, and Nanu wonders how deep this rebellious, headstrong streak of hers runs. Would it get her in trouble, in the end? Had it already, back home in Aedis? “Besides,” Nanu murmurs, trying a different tack. He softens the hand on her shoulder, giving her a gentle squeeze instead. “You’re starting to look tired, Siane. Let’s go home together and you can rest up.”
The fire in Siane’s eyes simmers down, and her posture softens.
“I guess I am starting to feel a little worn out,” she admits, her eyes flickering back to the enormous stone building in the distance.
“Let’s finish enjoying our walk, then,” Nanu says, giving her shoulder one more gentle squeeze before turning and leading the way once again. He listens carefully as he walks, and it’s not long before he hears Siane’s footsteps, soft on the ground, trailing after him.
“Nanu?” She asks after just a couple moments.
“Yeah?” He responds, continuing to walk. He wants to get as far away from here as possible; a small part of him is regretting having come to the Meadow at all.
“Will you take me there, sometime? To the Lake of the Sunne?”
“Hmm,” is the only response he gives, and to his relief, Siane doesn’t press any further.
There’s a somewhat heavy silence between them as they continue to walk; he can tell Siane has more questions for him about the shrine, but knows better than to ask. He can hardly blame her - if there were altars to the sun in her homeland, of course she’d be curious about this one, too. Truthfully, even Nanu himself turns over the idea of any correlation in the back of his mind; if the gold bridge in the Malie Gardens had been built as homage to a sister bridge in Kanto, who was to say that there wasn’t a sister shrine to this one in Aedis?
Finally, the path begins to run out, and Nanu can see the thicket that will soon open into Route 17 again. Judging from the very humid air coming out of the trees, it’s likely raining, as usual, on his home route.
“Guess we better get ready to hurry back to the Police Station, or else get soaked,” Nanu grumbles. Siane draws close to him, pausing by his shoulder.
“Guess so,” she says, then sighs. Her eyes cast about the Meadow one more time; she looks sad, pained, even, to have to leave. “Nanu?” She says, her voice quiet. “If you can’t promise to take me to the Lake of the Sunne someday, will you at least promise to take me back here sometime soon? Back to the Meadow?”
There’s no way Nanu can deny her this simple request, especially when she’s got that look in her eyes. She looks like she’s longing for freedom, like she’s afraid of being caged up again.
“Of course, Siane,” he says softly. In the distance, over Route 17, he hears a roll of thunder. The two of them look off to the incoming storm in unison. “Must be getting bad out there,” Nanu murmurs, then glances over at the young woman standing next to him. She’d been working so hard today - working to exhaustion, in fact, if the look in her eyes was anything to judge by. To think that she was going to have to trudge through the cold rain in a moment, with hardly any protection… Nanu shrugs out of his cop jacket.
“What are you doing?” Siane asks, clearly baffled.
“Here,” he says, handing her the jacket. “I don’t have an umbrella or anything, and I don’t want you getting sick from being out in the rain while you’re run down like this…”
Siane gets the gist of his idea, a smile breaking across her face.
“Thanks, Nanu,” she beams, holding the jacket over her head. “You ready?”
Nanu’s heart skips a beat once again.
“Yeah,” he agrees. Protecting people may be his job, but it doesn’t explain the way his body - or his mind - are responding to this young woman. It doesn’t explain the fact that he feels, in that instant, that he’d follow her nearly anywhere if she asked him.
“Come on!” Siane calls, already jogging ahead and leaving him behind. Nanu sets off after her.
“Be careful!” He urges, but he gets only a laugh in response.
By the time they’re both safe and sound in the shelter of the Po Town Police Station, it’s pouring outside again. They’re both breathless from the jog, though Nanu’s more soaked through than Siane - he’s pleased to see that his jacket served its purpose. He spares a fond smile for her as he closes the door behind them; he can’t help but feel a little proud that she had made it all that way without any difficulty.
The smile she returns for him takes his breath away more than the jog had.
“That was brilliant,” she gushes, dropping his soaked jacket on the floor. The water that’s permeated the fabric splashes a few of his gathering Meowth, who scatter with a hiss. “Not just the long run, either - the whole day. Everything was amazing, Nanu. Thank you so much.” To his shock, she wraps her arms around his shoulders, pulling him briefly into an embrace. His arms manage to come up just in time to embrace her back - but then, she pulls back and is gone, still smiling. “I still don’t believe that there’s a desert out there on this island, though,” she laughs.
“There is,” Nanu insists.
“Doesn’t seem possible,” Siane teases him.
“As Kahuna, I can promise you, it’s there,” Nanu says, his smile growing a little wider.
“Yeah?” Siane asks, “Guess you’ll have to promise to take me there another day, too.”
Nanu laughs and shakes his head.
“Sure,” he acquiesces. “If that’ll make you happy.”
“It will,” Siane agrees, and Nanu is surprised to feel his heart soar at the thought that this brilliant, beautiful young woman might actually want to spend time with him.
What was he getting himself into?
#nanu#kahuna nanu#officer nanu#siane#siane oc#assuranceshipping#pokemon#sumo#pokemon sumo#commission#aph writes
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January Angel Fish Awards
Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words.
The monthly Angel Fish Awards are peer-nominated, meaning ANYONE IN THE POND CAN NOMINATE ANY POND MEMBER’S FIC. While the Pond was founded to support the Guppies, everyone in this community deserves to be showered with love and feedback, and we hope that by opening this up as a Pond wide system, we’ll be able to share the love as far as it can go.
NOTE: WE’VE BEEN HAVING OCCASIONAL PROBLEMS WITH ASKS GOING MISSING. Please use the Submit button when submitting your nominations and make sure you’re signed into Tumblr or your URL won’t show. (If the form asks for your name and email address, then you’re not signed in.) If you like, you can also send a message to Michelle or Mana to check and make sure we got your submission.
WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE ARE THE FIRST ANGEL FISH AWARDS OF 2020!
Cabin Fever (a long oneshot) by @slytherkins was nominated three times!
I said all of this in my reblog, but this is FUCKING GOLD. It depicts life with chronic pain so beautifully, I read most of this with my heart in my throat. Have tissues, heed the warnings, but definitely read this! - @mrswhozeewhatsis
Tara is the Queen of Angst. She never fails to break my heart but this fic was something else entirely. I always feel like her stories could be canon and this is no exception!! Dean was exactly how I imagine he would be, Sam too. Without giving any spoilers: the scene setting - I was there, I could see them preparing dinner, sat around the table eating, I felt the coldness of the snow.
The raw emotions were sublime, I cried with Dean. I felt I could feel his pain, I was with him every step of the way, I felt his desperation. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. - @princessmisery666
O. M. G. I don’t expect anything less than incredible when I read Tara’s stuff, but this is on another level. The angst is painful (literally, sometimes), the detail is exquisite. She put heart and soul into this, and it shows. And as always, her Dean is spot-tf-on. Tara’s a brilliant writer, and this fic is amazing. ❤❤❤ - @risingphoenix761
Nominated by @manawhaat
Satin (oneshot) by @wingedcatninja
This fic has some out of the box, vulnerable, sexy, surprising Dean feels! I went into it expecting one thing and what I got was so different from what I could have imagined, but it was so wonderful and refreshing to read!
Next Year (series) by @wingedcatninja
Holy crap, the intensity and control in this fic is astounding. It’s so palpable from start to end and this is only the first fucking part. Seriously stellar and surprisingly reverential.
Nominated by @mrswhozeewhatsis
For Better or Worst (ongoing series) by @stunudo
There’s so much mystery and intrigue in this series and I just can’t stop wondering how it’s all going to work out! Sam made some kind of deal to save the world and the deal involved marrying this woman and getting out of hunting. But what was the deal, exactly? And where’s Dean? And who is this woman? What about Cas and Jack? I’m so freaking hooked and I can’t wait to find out!!
Nominated by @princessmisery666
Love You To Death (series) by @negans-lucille-tblr
I’ll be the first to admit I’m not into AU’s but this had me hooked from the beginning. I hate Y/N, I hope she gets whats coming to her, but I also so desperately want to be her, which is a testament to the wonderful writing of both Lisa and Bee. I can’t wait to see how this one unfolds.
These two together are a force to be reckoned with.
Nominated by @deanwinchesterswitch
One And One Make Three (series) by @supernatural-jackles
This series was absolutely stunning, beautifully written, and an amazing rollercoaster of emotion. Jen handled some very sensitive subject matters with grace and wit. It has ALL the feels; I cried, laughed, and loved right along with the characters.
Nominated by @flamencodiva
Skeptics and True Believers (series) by @d-s-winchester
I love this story! It had me on the edge of my seat when I read through the master list. the way she wove the story together made me happy for the ending to the story!
Good Things (series) by @crashdevlin
This is Part one to four parts of writing GOLD! Cassie knows how to completely put you in the story and envision what is happening.
How Do You Spell Forever? (series) by @kittenofdoomage
This is part one of a four parter and OMG! Can I say that this is sweet and cute and full of A/B/O goodness? because this is! and it should be read and shared!
Nominated by @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish
Heathens (series) by @pink1031
Why: I have been 1000000% hooked on this story since the first chapter was published. It’s a little bit twisted, a little bit wrong, a whole lot dirty, and a whole lot of amazing writing! At the time of this submission, the last chapter is in progress (don’t get me started on the fact that it’s ending D:). It is without a doubt, one of the few stories I stop what I am doing (life permitting) and read the new chapter when I get notified. READ THE WARNINGS CAREFULLY THOUGH, this is not a story for the faint of heart or those that get squicked out (is that even a term?). But if you like dark and dirty, this fic will absolutely be your jam.
Nominated by @risingphoenix761
My Home (oneshot) by @kittenofdoomage
Short and sweet, but it got me all choked up. To repeat what I said in tags, bless this fic and the hands that typed it.
Feels Like The First Time (oneshot) by @stusbunker
This gets better every time I reread it. Sweet and sexy and kinda touching. Any time I need a Samwitch fix, I come back to this one. ❤
Nominated by @lovetusk ( @fictionalabyss )
Turning Into Butter (oneshot) by @thing-you-do-with-that-thing
Lets be honest with this one, shall we? We’d ALL get that distracted by a half naked Dean.
Please Don’t Go (oneshot) by @sorenmarie87
Dawn tested out her Angsting abilities in this Adam x Reader fic, and I’m hoping we get to see more of it. Like why is Dean so angry? I NEED TO KNOW!
Someone You Loved (oneshot) by @ne-gans
So glad ne-gans is now part of the pond because now I can nominate this beautiful thing that made me cry.
Nominated by @impala-dreamer
Stupor (oneshot) by @dontshootmespence
The hottest hot to ever hot in the hottest way possible - SOULLESS!DOM!SAM!! I ded. Very hot. Much smut. Very good.
Hurt So Good (oneshot) by @alleiradayne
This was tasty. Pun intended. I have such a biting thing and Sam would be so amazing. Yes. Devour me, Winchester!! Loved it.
Nominated by @thegirlwhorunswithwinchesters
Isn’t That My Line (oneshot) by @princessmisery666
I went into this one intrigued by the concept and I got even more than I was hoping for. A little twist I didn’t expect here, a perfect ending there. Amazing.
Control And Release (series) by @thecleverdame
I just needed to bring this one back. Started rereading the entire series and it’s still as amazing as the first time I read this masterpiece.
Photographs and Gasoline (oneshot) by @ne-gans
Always gotta check the new pond member list when I’m making my rounds. Found this fic and fell in love. It’s absolutely heartbreaking but I loved every second of it. Guess if I have to torture myself, I prefer to do it with beautiful writing like this.
Nominated by @thoughtslikeaminefield
Smokes and Sex Toys (oneshot) by @wayward-and-worn
This is delightfully fucking filthy. But that’s not all; Dean’s characterization is SO DEAN - flirty yet straightforward - it reminded me of the scene with the bartender in Defending Your Life, I love the simple yet creative premise, and I adore that it’s left open-ended.
Sick Day - @fangirlxwritesx67
Viv wrote this for me - it’s true - but that isn’t the reason I’m nominating this; it’s because this is so warm and comfortable and just feels like Dean. Like I actually felt like I was in his lap while I feel asleep reading this. (Also, check out my girl’s other works. She’s fairly new but balls to the wall and bursting with ideas and words for just about anyone.)
Nominated by @slytherkins
Isn’t That My Line (oneshot) by @princessmisery666
Short. Sinful. Sexy. It’s like a smutty snack that hits the spot. (And so does Dean.)
Nominated by @kittenofdoomage
What Goes Bump In The Night (series) by @saxxxology
A phenomenal series, historic and dark, with all the fantastic detail you’d expect from Saxxy and more! Please heed the warnings though!
The World Doesn’t Know (oneshot) by @negans-lucille-tblr
A wonderful little smutty J2 fic, for those who enjoy that fantasy.
Marked (series) by @there-must-be-a-lock
I’ve only read the first chapter so far, but hot damn! This is a spectacular start to a promisingly dark series. AND The Right Spot - a smutty smutty follow up to another oneshot that literally made me sweat.
Just Like A Pill by @princessmisery666
The angsty sequel to In Spite Of What My Heart Says and you should totally read both parts, just keep tissues by you in case of heartbreak!
Nominated by @focusonspn
House Of The Rising Sun (series) by @kittenofdoomage
I’ve never liked BDSM themes too much but, OH MY GOOD!! This series is AMAZING!! It even has a sequel: The Ones You Love. Go and read it, you won’t regret it.
Yes, Sir (series) by @evansrogerskitten
Ash must be tired of me praising this fic but I can’t help myself, it’s one of my favorite series ever and deserves this recognition. This is a series that every John girl out there should be reading RIGHT NOW. It has everything! Smut, fluff and a tiny bit of angst and drama.
Good Vibrations (series) by @impala-dreamer
At first I wasn’t sure if I should bring this fic here because all the drama I heard it existed about it but, then I thought it twice, and I came to the conclusion that this fic definitely deserve to be part of these awards. This piece of writing was the first (after Dear John, I have to admit) that actually made me cry. It’s dark, it’s sad as fuck, it’s damn well written, and makes you easily get inside the characters and feel what they’re feeling. That being said, if you’re thinking of reading it, please HEED THE WARNINGS.
Take a Drunk Girl Home (oneshot) by @amanda-teaches
This fic is so beautiful and so well written that I promise you even can end up tearing up a little, but it’s so worth it that you won’t care a bit.
Nominated by @emilyshurley
His Property (series) by @negans-lucille-tblr
I freaking love this series to the point that i binged the series (and it’s sequel, Yours) in a single day.
Just Me & My Baby (oneshot) by @deanwinchesterswitch
Can’t get over how adorable it is.
Guns and Ribbons (series) by @myinconnelly1
What can I say Dean Winchester deserves all the love in this world and so does this series.
I Can See Clearly Now (oneshot) by @katehuntington
I can’t. I don’t have words. This is perfection.
In the Heat of the Night (series) by @evansrogerskitten
Nominated by @impalaimagining
Goals (oneshot) by @atc74
Okay. It's been a long time since I've found Sam smut that really gets me into it. This though - it's a whole different level of wonderful. I love the way it explores a woman finding and embracing her own sexuality, and the frustration that can come along with it. It's obvious how much effort and research and actual planning went into this. My favorite kinds of fics are those that draw from real life experiences, which I think it what makes this one so special. And the end? Yes please!
Nominated by @fangirlxwritesx67
Everything (series) by @there-must-be-a-lock
I can’t even talk about how great this J2 x reader series is without incoherent fangirl flailing. It’s wildly creative, sharply well written, and absolutely panty-melting filthy! And then just when you’re so hot and bothered that you can’t see straight, *boom*, it’s sweet and intimate and loving. I don’t think there’s a series out there I’ve read this many times!
Hark and Hush by @thoughtslikeaminefield
This is a luscious, dark and twisted fairy tale about Dean and the spirit of the Big Bad Wolf. It’s written so vividly that you can see and smell and taste the whole story. Sexy af, of course, and so intense- take the warnings seriously!
The Kind of Girl You Like (series) by @thoughtslikeaminefield
To me, MJ will always be the Queen of the Winchester threesome and this series shows exactly why. Smoking hot story about the brothers sharing a sub that quickly unfolds into something complex and beautiful. The last chapter especially is written with so much emotional depth- the first time I read it, I was swearing and crying and smiling all at once because it was so well done! Just the best!
Nominated by @supersassyprobablysad
How You & I Will Be (series) by @katehuntington
Hey so I wanted to do an angel fish award nom for Kate for her How You & I Will Be fic. In 5 parts she not only developed believable characters but by the end I was ugly crying (and I don’t cry a lot so that’s saying something). The ending feels totally necessary too, not like it was just done for shock value. Anyway I love it, it’s the best I’ve read in a long time.
Thank you all for the awesome work and great feedback!
As with the BFAs, these are not actual awards! This system is set up so everyone in the pond has a chance to share the love and promote a fic/author that has grabbed your attention. The more people that participate, and the more everyone remembers to submit their own fics after posting, the better this will be :D
THANK YOU ALL AGAIN, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!
#afa masterlist#angel fish awards#spnfanficpond#spn fic rec#spn fanfic#fan fiction#fanfiction#fan fic#fanfic#spn fan fiction#spn fanfiction#supernatural fan fiction#supernatural fan fic#supernatural fanfiction#supernatural fanfic#fic rec#supernatural fic rec#spn fan fic
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home
//OOC it’s called home for lack of a better title, but oh well, you win some, you lose some. have a fic explaining why duke’s been off tumblr recently!
Duke shoved his hands in his pockets, leaning against the train’s wall. There was no one else on the train, but his legs ached for activity when he sat, so he stood.
Tim was gone. Duke didn’t know how to feel about that. He wanted to encourage it, he wanted to let Tim escape and heal and let the drama die down, but…
He looked up, staring through the windows. Duke had known and loved Gotham City all his life. Even through the supervillain attacks, even through losing his parents, even though the other cities seemed so much safer and friendlier, Gotham was his home.
Pushing himself off the wall, he walked over to the window, careful not to lose his balance. The sun was still high in the sky, and light still drifted into the train. Duke let it warm his face for a moment before turning away, blinking rapidly.
He didn’t understand how Tim could leave Gotham. Maybe it was a rich kid thing, where you don’t grow attached to how little weeds sprouted in the cracks of the cobblestone in narrow alleyways. It would only be for a little while, Tim told him, but Duke would lose himself if he left.
And Steph wasn’t leaving, but it felt like she was. Duke chewed the inside of his cheek, remembering how Steph had blown up at everybody, how Tim and Steph had blown up at each other. Cass hadn’t said anything on the group chat for a while, Barbara shut down, Jason was dealing with his own problems, and Tim and Steph were still fighting.
He joined this family less than a year ago, and already it felt like it was falling apart.
*
His phone buzzed as he walked in, but Duke turned it off. He glanced at the warden with wide eyes.
“Hey, kid,” the warden said, his eyes crinkling as he smiled. “Hell of a time to be visiting your parents, huh?”
Duke tried to smile back at the warden, but his smile kept faltering. “Yeah,” he said instead. “Can—can you just take me to them, please? Not having the best day.”
The warden scrutinized him, glancing up then down. “You sure this is what you need then?”
Duke swallowed bile and nodded.
“...Okay.”
He flinched at the sounds of giggling coming from every bed, but it evolved into a full-body wince once he saw his parents.
They wore permanent grins, saliva dripping down their cheeks because they couldn’t close their damn mouths to stop snorting for just a few seconds. This was what it was like every time he visited.
“Mom?” Duke called softly. “Dad? It’s me, Duke. I’m here.”
His dad latched onto his shoulder, his eyes red and veiny, still laughing to himself. Instinctively, Duke threw his hand off. It was easier than he’d thought—his dad had lost even more weight.
While his mom’s laugh grew into a full out cackle, his dad collapsed onto the floor. Duke sucked in a breath and dropped down as well, looking to lift his dad up. “Please, Dad,” he murmured. “C’mon, Dad, you gotta get up. Get on the bed.”
The only response he got was chuckles.
Duke took on the responsibility of heaving his dad up himself. He dragged his dad up and plopped him down on the bed, promptly slumping down on the chair across from him.
He closed his eyes, breathing in and out, accompanied by that dreadful laughter that made his insides seize up.
They’d been like this for months, and even from the very beginning, doctors speculated that heavy exposure to this strain of Joker gas would cause permanent damage. They weren’t getting better.
Duke crumpled in on himself, holding his head in his hands. His parents were lost. His new family was falling apart. He glanced at his parents, still snorting themselves silly.
He ran. Past the warden’s pitying face, out the doors, and away.
He missed the train. Duke took a shaky breath. He could get back to the manor by foot, he knew the way.
The sun lowered with every passing second, and as consequence, the light slipped away. Duke squinted and let his photokinetic vision—which is what Bruce called it, he was still trying to think of a better one—take over. He counted the light particles to ground himself.
And just because, Duke played around with his vision, his ability to see where light was and will be.
A woman stumbled into the alleyway beside him, pushed by a gruff-looking older white man. Duke’s eyes narrowed.
He turned around and punched the guy, letting out a hiss of pain when the guy’s muscles turned out to be rock hard. Shit.
Duke made eye contact with the lady and jerked his head in the opposite direction as the guy growled and lifted him without breaking a sweat. “Run!” he commanded.
Okay, okay, what would Bruce tell me to do? Duke asked himself, now staring into the bulging eyes of a man who could snap him in half.
He kicked, aiming for a cheap shot.
It worked, with the huge guy dropping him. However, getting dropped onto gravel hurt, and why the hell had he decided to wear short sleeves today.
The guy was still doubled over in pain. Duke glanced at him and the woman who was running away slowly in heels, at the distance between them. And he thought of going back to the manor, the one that almost started feeling like home but now felt like a death sentence in a game of tug-of-war.
Duke punched the guy’s nose.
*
“Hey Riko, what’s up?” one Isabella Ortiz asked, lounging on a chair and holding her phone to her ear.
“Have you heard from Duke?”
Izzy scoffed. “What, you think ‘cause we were a thing for a couple weeks I have trackers on him?”
“No,” Riko said, worry pervading her tone. “No, I mean I haven’t heard from him since, um. Yesterday, I think. And I checked his Tumblr,”—Izzy still thought Tumblr was a dumb idea; the Waynes coming together whether online or physically always seemed to be a dumb idea—“and the last thing he posted was about going to see his parents. At the psychiatric ward.”
Izzy’s eyebrow creased as she recalled Duke coming to her about his parents the first time, frustrated and upset. He usually only visited twice a month, and stayed in a funk for a little while afterwards. She was planning to go with him next week, for moral support.
He visited early?
“Check the other Tumblrs,” Izzy said, sitting straight up. “I think something’s wrong.”
“I know something’s wrong!” Riko exclaimed. “I just have a really bad feeling about all of this.”
Izzy stood, throwing on a cap and hoodie. She decided on her Robin cap, just in case. “Tell me on the way. I’m gonna head over there, try to find him and talk to him.”
She heard sounds of frantic typing from Riko’s end and adjusted her cap.
If Duke was hurt by them, Izzy would willingly beat the shit out of all those goddamned Waynes.
*
Duke leaned against a wall, gingerly touching his freshly swollen black eye. Yeah, okay, maybe he told Tim he could take on a couple punks from West Robinson, but for whatever reason, these guys were out in packs. They were sneaking out, and Duke saw them, and he laughed to himself and shouted at them, and… yeah, it didn’t go well.
He panted, the adrenaline making his head spin. He closed his eyes and let the coolness of the dark calm him.
This was fine, this was fine, he would be back at the manor in no time at all.
“Hey!”
Duke clenched his bruised fists and, with another sharp intake of breath, slung them at—
Air. Air that happened to have Izzy beside it.
Oh, shit.
He tried to grin at Izzy, but the pain from his split lip flared up. “...Uh,” was all he managed to get out.
Izzy’s eyes were wide, taking him in. “Duke Thomas, you’re a fucking idiot,” she said finally in deadpan tone. Her expression and the way she reached down to keep him steady betrayed her true feelings.
“I was heading home already,” Duke protested. Izzy hoisted his arm on her shoulders and they walked together.
“Yeah?” Izzy asked. “And how’s that working out for you? Remember the day we met, when you got yourself into trouble with people looking to blow up the city hall? And you got in a fight with Smiley,”—Duke shuddered at the nickname, a flash of a blood red permanent grin stuck in his mind—“because of your punk cologne?”
Duke blinked. “I wasn’t in a good mental state then,” he said. “And there were so many more fights before that you don’t know about.”
Izzy flicked his forehead. “That’s my point, dumbass. You go looking for fights so you don’t have to focus on yourself. Even when you were looking for your parents, you were distracting yourself with them. So what’s up? Riko told me about what’s going on with your family, but what about you?”
Footsteps rapidly approached them and a small figure jumped right by Duke’s side, lifting his other arm to be supported with her shoulder. Riko.
“Izzy stopped answering me when she said she was around here, so I figured that’s where you were,” she explained. “What’s up, Duke?”
Duke’s breath hitched. “It’s nothing, guys, really.”
“I call bullshit,” they both chimed at the same time.
“I’m serious! It’s Tim’s and Steph’s argument, not mine.” Duke’s gaze drifted down. “And even then, Barbara and Cass and Jason? They’re having problems, too. Me? I’m the new kid. I’m not as invested as everyone else. Tim had to send me a PowerPoint so I would understand.”
Riko snickered. “You’re so soft, Duke.”
“Huh?”
“She means,” Izzy said, dragging them both to the side when they veered dangerously towards the road, “that you have a bleeding heart. You don’t like to show it, but you do. You gotta recognize that. Anyways, my bike is parked somewhere around here, we can get you home.”
Duke saw a weed, a small dandelion, sprouting out from a crack in the sidewalk. Gotham was dark and hazy and the sun was long gone, but it managed to continue sticking around.
He stepped on it.
“Not my home,” he muttered.
He could feel Izzy’s eye roll. “Yeah, keep telling yourself that.”
*
Upon arriving at the manor, Duke pointedly ignored Tim’s bedroom and Steph’s guest room, instead taking the long route to his room, sent out a Tumblr post, and collapsed. He was tired, and these bruises were gonna hurt like hell come morning. Maybe if he just slept through the entire next day, the bruises would fade.
And sleep through the day he did.
*
//OOC (and then once he woke up and checked tumblr again, he had a panic attack primarily caused by steph’s panic attack but also. Everything Else. this may have seemed like a not angsty ending but damnit i’m not done with duke angst yet)
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talk to the hand [ TIMOTHEE CHALAMET ], [ REED ‘NEWT’ NEWTON ] is the new kid on the block around here. at [ TWENTY ], the [ CIS BOY] works at [ BABBAGE’S ] in the mall and, like, [ HE ] totally reminds us of [ CHANDLER BING ]. oh snap! what? their favorite movie is [ HOME ALONE ]???? so is mine!
ABOUT THE MUN. i used to lie to y’all, my mom didn’t say no, i did
i hate this site man. and that’s it, that’s all you gotta know about me.
BIO. good news!!!! i’ve successfully replaced all my emotions with jokes !!!! tw bullying
reed newton was born in london england to sylvia anne bixby and cornelius otis newton and honestly, he’s regretted it ever since.
newt was an accident. he was the product of one of his mother and father’s first ever lustful encounters, and their subsequent shotgun wedding so honestly they both spent most of newt’s formative years in the honeymoon period. some of newt’s earlier memories are of him walking in on his parents doing the devil’s tango in the broom closet and his nanny rushing to cover his eyes. good times.
honestly newt walked in on his parents doing the do more times than any kid should have before the age of nine. and then he walked in on a parent doing the do with a non parent. in other words newt got an eyeful of his father and the pool boy and it wasn’t long after that that his parents went through a long and messy divorce. once again, good times.
his mother decided to pack up their things and move herself and her nine year old very impressionable son to nebraska, because fuck that kid amiright. newt was quickly designated as the skinny weird nerdy kid with glasses and a funny little accent, and so as you can guess he was pretty mercilessly bullied from age nine to eighteen. he really never stood a chance.
i feel like this is a good time to mention that newt’s mother was a sex therapist, which is not the same as a regular therapist but still, therapist is in the name. he should have been able to talk to his parent in this time of strife and get some level of support right? nope. sylvia bixby is well known for writing a men are from mars, women are from venus like book on communication and dating and all that, so his mom was generally on book tour after book tour. but maybe she would have been supportive if she was ever actually around, right? again, nope.
unbeknownst to newt whenever his mother was around she was not only just casually psycho analyzing her only child for shits and giggles, no, she as also writing about it. newt’s mother wrote an entire book about raising a highly repressed teenage son with newt as the star, and you can only guess what that did for newt’s stellar high social status in high school. nothing great.
did newt ask her not to publish it once he realized she had wrote it? yes. did she still publish it? also yes. so newt and his mother no longer have the greatest relationship. holidays are awkward.
things were not better on his fathers end, but it wasn’t because his father particularly did anything nearly as tone deaf as his mother. yes, his father was a famous erotica novelist and yes that made newt’s life a living hell, but newt luckily wasn’t the subject of those books. neil transitioned from writing fabio like novels to writing some lgbt fiction which, great for representation, horrible for your teenage son who is now known around school for having a dad who writes porn. to top it off, neil ended up starting a long term relationship with the pool boy and gaining a pseudo step son from it. benjamin caley was not only more athletic than newt, not only more attractive than newt, but also better than newt in every single way imaginable which was a real self esteem booster. his father actively prefers benji and every time newt visits him in england over the summers he comes home hating himself a bit more.
which works out because after the book being published, most people kind of hated newt too so at the very least he was on trend. there was a lot of classic nineties bullying you know, wedgies, swirlies, shoving newt into lockers. all very cliche. newt would tell his bullies as much, but it never really went over that well.
but then finally newt graduated. he was free from the hell that was the public education system and his childhood household. he graduated with honours, moved out of his mother’s house, and got himself his own apartment with a roommate near the mall where he got his first real job.
goes to university for software engineering. has an internship at apple that he’s absolutely terrified to mess up. has an old beat up car that was like the first big purchase he ever made with his own money, so he loves it to death even though it’s a piece of shit.
PERSONALITY. do you fear me? don’t feel so special now. i have social anxiety. i fear everybody.
this is my first time playing newt so all of this is subject to change BUT
INSECURE. newt is a weird mix of cripplingly insecure and weirdly confident and there is no in between ever.
WITTY. humour is and always will be the only defense newt has against anything, so he makes a lot of jokes especially when he feels uncomfortable.
EMPATHETIC. newt is a big push over when it comes to emotions like he would never do anything to hurt someone unless it was by accident or he was provoked or you’re his step brother benji or either of his parents in which case he will run you over with his car on sight. but no really, if newt is in a position where he has to hurt somebody he will do absolutely everything in his power to either not or avoid the situation completely.
AWKWARD. sometimes honestly, although it depends on the day. v clumsy though. usually he can try to make his awkwardness funny but does he always succeed? the answer is no.
HEADCANNONS. actually all of my systems are nervous.
has to drink like six cups of coffee or tea a day. very serious about his tea because english. also has vegemite on his toast.
can actually cook pretty well even though he prefers to eat takeout. cooks because it’s cheaper and he’s a broke ass student yk. won’t take money from his parents ever, and will straight up give it away if it’s forced upon him.
writes star trek fanfic for fun and has a kind of weird relationship with writing because of his parents honestly?? but he enjoys it so, maybe the apple in fact does not fall from the tree.
has commitment issues because of his parents divorce but don’t we all.
developed a stutter after all the divorce drama because he thought it was his fault. he later had to see a speech therapist. his mother later had a fwb relationship with this same speech therapist. newt wanted to die.
traded his glasses for contacts and you will literally only see newt in glasses if he rips or loses his contacts or if he’s at home.
in love with all things sci fi, will rent and see every sci movie ever made if he can
accidentally knocks down at least one display in babbages per day so there’s that.
speaking of newt runs a small side gig out of babbages where he fixes up tech because paying for university, rent, and car insurance out of pocket gets up there. so if you need someone to fix your desktop newt is your guy.
is actually a pretty good flirt when he’s drunk or feels comfortable. is constantly teetering between painfully insecure and confident.
is very bi and very hesitant about it because of his father and all his feelings towards that, but he will eventually stop fighting it so much soon hopefully. has probably had a few drunken hookups with guys but tries to convince himself that is just a drunk thing yk.
is allergic to bees so death has a kiss just for him i guess.
loves video games but that goes without saying
has anxiety and takes medication for it, one of the few healthy things his mother has ever done for him.
speaking of his mother if newt ever sees her book about him in a book display he will spend as much time as needed taking each book and hiding them in obscure places so that no one will ever be able to find them and buy them. he read the whole thing because he had to know and yep he absolutely hates it.
goes by newt and only newt so that no one can make the connection between him and his mother or his father upon first meeting him or hopefully ever. a lot of the kids he went to high school with still know though and with the accent and everything, he’s not fooling anyone who has at least heard a rumour
idk what else y’all imma fite tumblr for making me write this twice
WANTED CONNECTIONS. actually wait, i take that self deprecation back, i’m great.
ROOMMATE. because newt can’t afford his place on his own between all his expenses. please. think of the shenanigans.
ON AGAIN OFF AGAIN THING. kind of inspired by chandler and janice tbh. these two are pretty incompatible and whenever they’re together all they talk about is breaking up with each other but whenever they’re broken up and they see each other they somehow always find themselves waking up in bed together the next morning. it’s a mess.
NERD SQUAD. give me newt’s friends from high school please and thanks. just a crew of absolutely dweebs and misfits.
FWB/EWB. self explanatory considering newt’s big commitment issues but i just imagine like making out in the back room and like hooking up in the break room and someone leaving like a damning article of clothing in there and the two of them scrambling to get it before anyone notices. just fun.
EX. self explanatory but yes, an ex gf or bf, an ex fwb or ewb, give me all the exes please.
REPEAT CUSTOMER. this person is always paying newt to come fix their computer and other tech and newt just doesn’t understand how they mess it up so badly. like he doesn’t get how or why technology hates them as much as it does, but he’ll take the money.
HATESHIP. just good old fashion animosity. could be hate from school or the fresh hate upon working in the mall together or they can just be newt’s least favourite customer and he can hate them for that.
CRUSH. maybe newt had a crush on them in school. maybe they had a crush on newt in school. maybe newt has a crush on them now. maybe they have a crush on newt now.
and anything else tbh. i’d love a smoking buddy for newt, a friend who he can never get any work done around like when they’re together they’re just like !!!, someone who used to be one of the popular kids who he is now getting along with or still holding a grudge against, his big gay awakening in school maybe like the first masc person he had a crush on, someone who tries to get newt to party and come out of his shell, someone who idk steals from babbages skjsdj idk man i am open to anything at all so just like this and we can brain storm if anything!
#vhsintro#r.n. | intro.#using this gif of timmy surfing cause when else am i gonna get the chance#but oof finally done
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Okay I did the thing
Here is my self-insert Beetlejuice fanfic because I have no self-control
Emotional Support Stinky Rat Bastard Man: the fanfiction
Just to be clear, this is not slash. Reader is not being shipped with Beej. They're just friends having a good time. source: I am lonely and want friend
Reader is feeling lonely after everyone leaves for winter break and they are stuck in the dorms, until they summon Beetlejuice accidentally. Shenanigans ensue.
Chapter 1: It Begins
You’re invisible when you’re sad
The dorm was almost abandoned, it felt like. You walk the halls in your pajamas, wondering at the sudden silence. The lack of people was a bit unnerving, having been used to the noisy rowdy mess that was the freshman college dorm at all hours of the day and night. But now it was the end of December, time for winter break.
You were sure most of the other freshmen had families that they went home to over the break, while you and only a few others wouldn’t be heading home this holiday. It’s not that you didn’t have a family, or that they didn’t love you, they were just… away, taking your younger brother with them. You weren’t sure what your sister was up to, only that she wasn’t coming home either. Honestly you were rarely sure what she was up to. She was the most social creature you had ever seen. Nevertheless, the family house stood empty, an hour away by car, leaving you to spend a winter alone in the middle of the city. Surrounded by millions of people at all times and yet lonely. What a life you lead.
Let’s focus back on walking the abandoned halls. Although, not so abandoned, as you notice a person sitting at the table as you pass by the common area. You make awkward eye contact before moving on, descending the stairs to the lower level of the dorm, where you checked your mailbox (empty as always) and stepped outside of the building in order to walk a couple yards down to the cafeteria entrance in the same building. It was endlessly annoying how they closed off the indoors cafeteria entrance, forcing everyone to walk outside in order to obtain food. It was both parts blessing and curse, especially when it rained. Eating alone in the semi-empty cafeteria was certainly an experience, especially since the machine that made hot chocolate was still broken. Just in case, you try it as you pass by. Nothing but weird-smelling hot water.
It was the same routine three times a day. Go downstairs in your pajamas to eat a meal, go back upstairs to your room and wallow until your body alerts you that it’s time to eat again. Doing the bare minimum to keep your flesh machine functioning.
It had only been three days since your roommates had left. Three days since finals had ended. And you were already spiraling. It couldn’t be helped, you supposed. Depression is funny like that.
You barely remember trodding through the steps to make it back up to your room, but you do. You make it in, slowly shedding your outer layers until it’s just you in your pajamas, and then you climb into the beanbag under your bed and just curl up and cry. This had been going on for a while now. You were just, so depressed. You didn’t want to do anything and you didn’t have the energy to do anything and technically you could no nothing because there was no school but everyone had left and you were so lonely. For a moment, you pondered on what it would be like to have a friend, a single friend to spend the winter holiday with, but the thought just made you cry harder.
After a couple hours, you manage to drag yourself out of the beanbag to go to the bathroom, and as you look at yourself in the mirror while washing your hands, you realize how shitty you looked. “I need some serotonin.” you said out loud. One of the benefits of having the dorm to yourself was that you could just say whatever you wanted… and there was no one there to hear you. That sometimes made the depression worse.
Shaking away the thoughts, you went back into your room and wrestled your computer onto your bed and hit play on the Beetlejuice soundtrack, which is your new hyperfixation of the month. Anything comforting that you could get your grubby, lonely hands on in this time of depression you took.
You stand in the middle of the room as Lydia sang her ballad, just feeling the music. For a moment you feel like crying again, only to be hit by emotional whiplash when The Whole Being Dead Thing starts up. You recover, shaking your head and starting to awkwardly dance along, mouthing the words and doing dramatic motions to accompany them.
By the time the soundtrack had reached the halfway point, you were full out singing every song. There was no one in the room anyway and if any of the people living near you heard, they couldn’t say anything, or at least you didn’t care. You needed that serotonin, dammit.
You pause as Say My Name ends, out of breath from dancing and singing. You stand, heaving, as the dialogue at the beginning of Day-O starts playing. You grin, mouthing along to Delia’s lines and breaking out in song when the first “dayyyyyy-o” sounded.
Daylight come and we want go home
You sing along at the top of your lungs, trying to imitate the jerky movements you had seen accompany this song in the Beetlejuice bootleg you found on tumblr. You absent-mindedly dance through all the dialogue, until-
“Beetlejuice!” you shout along with Lydia, climbing on top of your chair as the Beetlejuice in the recording went on.
“Beetlejuice!” you scream to the empty dorm, fueled by days of depression and sadness and the desperate need to have someone there, anyone at all so long as you weren’t lonely anymore.
“give me just one more.” from your computer. You gathered up all the air in your lungs and squeezed your eyes tight for one last, “BEETLEJUICE!”
A swoosh and then the next line, “It’s showtime!” sounded like an echo.
You open your eyes as the soundtrack goes crazy and there, right in front of you, was Beetlejuice himself, in all his terrible striped suit and green haired glory. The only logical thing that occurred to your mind to do was scream and fall off the chair. Without taking your eyes off of him, you pause the music.
He grins at you. “Hey.”
“What the fuck.” you mutter. “Did…”
“Yeah, you summoned me here-”
“Can- How? I’m so confused. You’re real?”
“You know it babey.”
“Like…”
“Okay, let's not get into the specifics, I'm here and you summoned me, so what do you want me to do? Scare some people? Kill some people?”
“No!” you reach out for a second as if to physically stop him from just running outside and starting a killing spree. “Um… I need a second to process...” you wave a hand in his direction, “this.”
“No, yeah, sure I’ll just stand here and watch you. Cool space by the way.”
Does he ever slow down? You look around at the tiny dorm you called home. Half of it was your roommate’s so it was mostly empty of stuff except for the bed, and your side was decidedly messy. “Oh, yeah. I guess I have some cool posters of something.”
“Okay, so you good now? Can we get around to the reason you summoned me, cause I gotta tell you I got some other shit I gotta get to, so we gotta make this snappy.”
“Oh.” You wilt a bit, not wanting to let go of the only person you’d talked to in days. “Well I didn’t really mean to summon you-”
“Bullshit.” he scoffs. “Everyone means to do it, whether they know why or not.”
You squint, his comment already making you so much more tired then you already were. “Okay well to be fucking honest, I’m lonely as fuck because all my roommates left and so now I’m going to be spending the winter break in my dorm by myself and I’ve already started spiraling, so I was just trying to give my brain some seretonin when I accidentally summoned a fucking demon and honestly you’re the only human interaction I’ve had in days.” you finish, looking him dead in the eyes. He looked a bit surprised and you notice his hair had darkened a bit. “So there you go. Now you have full permission to just fuck off to wherever you want and leave me alone here to cry.”
You push past him and crawl back into the space under your bed, curling up in the beanbag with a blanket.
A moment’s pause and then, “Hey.”
You groan inwardly. Why hadn’t he left yet? Didn’t he have someplace better to be? He had already said as much. You glance up over your blanket and see the stinky rat man crouched down in front of your under-bed cave. “What?” It comes out a bit more bitter than you meant it to.
“You okay babes?”
You roll your eyes, ignoring the tears that immediately started threatening to overflow at the question. “Obviously not.”
Another pause and then, “What's wrong?”
“Did you not hear any of what I just said?” you sit up, finally meeting his eyes, and you notice his hair had become streaked with blue. “Mood ring hair.” you mutter.
“What?”
“Nothing. So why haven’t you left yet? Don’t you have some other, better, place to be?” you cross your arms.
“Well…” he stops crouching and sits down in front of you. “I was actually lying about all that.”
“...okay?”
“Actually since you summoned me I can’t go away until you un-summon me.”
“Un-summon?”
“It’s this whole complicated process, involving-”
You cut him off. “I just have to say your time three times again, right?”
He froze and you knew you had gotten it correct. “No…”
“Your hair changes when you lie.” you nod to it.
He looks up and started messing with it, frantically trying to hide the streaks of yellow that had suddenly appeared. He looked so serious that you couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. He stops messing with his hair and looks at you and you immediately look away.
“So you know how to get me to leave, you can just-” he flails a bit, “and I'll be gone.”
You pull the blanket back over yourself and curl back up into a ball, letting out a muffled, “Okay.”
You could feel Beej’s eyes on you as the silence stretched longer.
“So… you gonna let me go or what?”
“I don’t know.” came the muffled reply. You pull the blanket down a bit so your mouth is free and continue. “On one hand, I'm incredibly lonely and depressed and I’m going to be basically alone for the entirety of the winter break, but on the other hand you’re weird and liable to kill someone at any given moment.”
He chuckles darkly. “You got that right, babes.”
You roll your eyes again and pull the blanket back up over your face. “I’m too depressed to make that decision. Or any decision for that matter.”
“Fine, I’ll make it for you.” he stands up, making a big fuss out of brushing his suit off. “I’m sticking around baby, and there’s nothing you can do about it!” and with that, he vanished with a pop.
You uncover your face and look around, but he was gone. “...what.”
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{{ “Be Honest” mun meme
{{ Questions list taken from here:
https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/hellhaeths/182092480007
What would prevent you from following someone?
Not trigger-tagging, or not using cuts for ns//fw scenes. (I have really intense emet*phobia, so if you don't tag for that, or won't tag for it upon request, I absolutely cannot follow. Savior catches most posts for me, even if they're not tagged, but there are just So Many Euphemisms and Various Ways to Describe It that it only works 75% of the time.)
Are aesthetics important to you? If they are, why?
As far as blog theme, not really-- I just like fiddling around to find something that evokes their General Vibe, and seeing what themes other muns like! I won't judge by them though. When it comes to thread aesthetics, I actually prefer to leave them utterly unformatted and plain-text as possible. I have ADHD and Fancy Unicode and Symbols and All That makes it really hard for me to focus on what's going on in the thread, not to mention I don't have the attention span to match another mun's Styling like that. (Also, fun fact: I always have my Tumblr Dash at 75% zoom, and Dove’s theme already has text at a Very Readable Size, so nothing ever needs to be Smallified for me.)
What current rp trend do you hate?
I don't think there are any I "hate", though I get confused on all the Different Verses that everyone has. (In all my years of writing fanfic, I've only ever written Exactly One (1) AU, and I never read them outside of rp. AUs just aren't my thing.)
How do you explain rp to someone in the real world?
"Taking turns writing what the characters are doing." Everyone afk has been pretty supportive. (They all know I'm a writer, so like... it's Nothing New.)
Do you prefer interacting with male muses or female more? Why?
I genuinely don't care either way! Guy, gal, nonbinary pal: as long as they're fun to write with, I don't mind a bit. (And Dove has no preference, either.)
Do you prefer writing male muses or female more? Why?
Statistically, I have 3 female muses (4 if we count Evangeline as her own person and not just A Part of Dove Manifested)... and only 1 male. (And technically, both Srentha and Leyla are genderqueer, so it's really only Dove and Kary that are cis women.) But that's not intentional? Evangeline is feminine because Dove is feminine, and Kary was originally my girlfriend's-- if she was a male I still would've hardcore adopted him. It just kind of worked out that way. I just enjoy writing people, not gender roles.
Name any three things about the rpc that bother you.
1.) The aforementioned Verse Thing. (It doesn't really bother me, I'm just easily confused by Similar-Except-Vaguely-Different Things due to the ADHD.)
2.) Some people still don't know that godmodding isn't okay.
3.) The distaste for OCs??? I guess that doesn't exactly "bother" me either, because people are allowed to have preferences... but, I mean, I spent several years active in, and then Actually Running, a group of 1300 members on dA completely DEDICATED to OCs, and it was a blast, so I just don't understand why people don't like rping with them as much as canon characters. I personally find OCs more satisfying to explore, more surprising in every thread because you just don't know what to expect, and you have a LOT more freedom for plotting and reactions! Like! You can Shed the Constraints of Canon and Revel in your Newfound OC-Based Freedom!! Truly Become your Character's GOD!!!
What is your opinion on exclusivity? Do you practice it? Why / why not?
Nah, I love the variety different muns can bring to the same muse! Other people can stay exclusive if they like. Being an OC mun, it doesn't exactly affect me. 8F
Have you ever had a bad experience with commissions? As either someone who makes them or as someone who buys them?
(I don't really know how this pertains to RP?) But there was one time when someone gave me a really vague commission request, out of the blue, for a fandom I know absolutely nothing about, and just kept saying things like "Whatever you think they'd do!" when I asked for plot, characterization, or preference details... I never finished it because I Didn't Even Know how to START.
What do you know now about rp that you wish you knew when you first started?
The reply doesn't have to be perfect. Or dramatic, even. Not every reply is going to shatter someone's heart or absolutely make their day. And that's perfectly okay!
Have you been involved in drama? Do you regret it?
Nnnnot on Tumblr. (There was a LOT of drama amongst admins of the dA group, which strongly attributed to the decline of me RPing on dA, but I definitely do not regret standing up for myself. I do wish I'd been able to foresee it, though, and brought someone else on staff who was actually going to, you know, do the job they applied for?)
Have you ever thought about leaving rp? What caused it? What changed your mind?
Never! Well not on Tumblr anyways. There was a period where my favorite partners were all going inactive, and I couldn't find anyone who wanted to interact with Dove, so of course I was despairing, wondering if I'd ever get to explore what I wanted to explore with her. But then I decided, you know what, so what if I can't find any canon Titans to advance her Tumblr timeline? I'll just fill in the blanks with fanfic canon, and work from there! Making that decision was so freeing.
Do you think rp has had a positive or negative affect on your life or you as a person?
Oh, positive, absolutely. I may be too busy to really attend to it much nowadays, but my writing style has improved DRAMATICALLY, I've made so many friends, and I've learned things about Dove that I never would've discovered in the stories alone. (Or at least, it might've been discovered on a ten-year delay. 8F)
How has rp changed you personally?
I was able to find fast friends, make connections with people over common interests, and my very first experience with leadership happened because I hung around a TTOC dA chatroom (because, specifically, I’d gotten ADDICTED to rp), came to love the people and characters, and decided, when the current admins had to step down, I would like to step up.
If you could change one thing about rp on tumblr, what would it be? Why?
I'd like tags to stop breaking, that'd be nice. (But that’s an issue with Tumblr itself, not the rps.)
Have you ever sent a message to yourself on anon? Why?
Pff, no. Mostly because if I really want something to happen, I'll either post an open, OR I'll do what I'm doing here, and just answer the questions myself. 8F I have a lot of fun doing this with headcanon question lists.
Have you ever sent hate to yourself on anon? Why?
No, but that's because I'm all about learning (+spreading) positive self-talk, de-escalation, and avoiding drama. Drama doesn't serve anyone.
Do you delete anon hate or post and address it? Why?
I address it and then block the sender, because I want everyone to know I don't stand for that. And I have this stubborn streak about standing up for myself, so, you know... Gotta Address It First. (And I've defended Dove from Mary Sue accusations since I started posting about her in 2006, so it doesn't bother me, but I love pointing out all the reasons that, Jack Rider voice: You Are Wrong!)
Have you ever felt pressured to write something you weren’t comfortable with?
Nope, but that's because if I can't or don't want to, I'm open and transparent about it. (Not on Tumblr, anyways. There was one particular person in the dA chats that kept trying to make RPs All About His Muse, but we shut that down too.)
Have you ever followed someone because you felt like you had to, not because you wanted to?
Hell no! I've never Automatically Followed Back, and it's right there in my rules, I need a little communication before I start interacting.
What would make you block someone?
Anon hate, reblogging/replying to rps that don't involve them, starting their own rps on my posts, Bad Takes in the Tags, shipping something I genuinely can't stand... I use the block button pretty liberally. I just don't need that stuff in my life, in my tags, or on my dash.
Have you ever stolen something from someone else?
Well I have adopted a couple of headcanons re: Canon Characters from the teentitansheadcanons blog. (Like hc that, one time, Beast Boy was a bug and someone almost squished him, so now they put all the bugs outside, just in case. I love that for some reason, so I adopted it.) And every now and again I'll see something in fanfic I like: Azarath Has Two Suns, I saw that in a fanfic and it just felt so RIGHT, so I adopted that too. But, I mean, rping as an OC, there's really not a lot I can steal. 8F
Have you ever had something stolen from you? If so, how did you handle it?
Not on Tumblr, but somebody once stole a picture of Srentha from dA and used it in a random webs-page blog about their dreams? ??? I have no idea why they used him, or how they even fOUND him, but I kinda just shrugged and let it go.
Are you open to duplicates? Why / why not?
(Isn't this basically the same question as "are you exclusive"? Because I have the same answer. I am, because I like seeing other muns' interpretations of the same character.)
How do you feel about vague posting?
Use your own judgement for your own blog, but it's not something I do myself. If I have to vaguepost to vent something, I'll usually go on a more private blog, or at least stick it under a Read More.
Do you follow people even if they don’t follow you back?
Yes! I like reading rps almost as much as I like writing them.
Do you read people’s rules before following or interacting?
Always.
What is your opinion on “reblog karma” and do you practice it?
I try to! Sometimes I can't figure out what to send in for the blog I get in from, but most of the time, I'll send something any time I reblog something. I really appreciate it when people send something in before reblogging from me, personally. c: (I get it if you can’t or don’t want to. But it sure is nice!)
How have you responded to popular slang used on tumblr? Do you use it in every day life? Do you use it at all?
Not really, but I rarely use slang at all. Unless I'm actually talking about rp, muses, muns, etc, then I'll use those words.
Is there something you don’t know the meaning of but you haven’t asked anyone because you think it’s supposed to be general knowledge? Was there ever something you had to ask someone to explain?
I'm that Ravenclaw who always asks questions as soon as I encounter I don't know, and I don't use words without knowing what they mean. Kinda defeats the purpose of words that way.
Have you ever experienced discrimination?
Well, Dove has, since people have that "I don't like OCs" mindset. Or "she's related to a canon character, so she's automatically a Mary Sue". It's not as big of a Discrimination as sexism or racism, don't get me wrong! But it HAS limited our scope of interaction, and I personally think it’s a little unfair to make judgments like that.
How do you feel about personal blogs following your rp blog?
Go for it.
Have you ever cried while writing a reply?
Mmmmaybe once? More often my heartrate just raises a little in an exciting moment, or I write out a ten-paragraph response in a one-hour fit of delighted manic wordsmithing, but I've definitely been touched. (I'm just... not very good at crying when I'm focused on writing. 8F)
Do you read other people’s threads or do you only read your own?
There's definitely a bias towards my own! (Before my EHD died, I had about a hundred and fifty rps saved as word documents.) But I also enjoy reading others' threads.
What’s one thing that other people seem to hate that doesn’t bother you?
Hmm...Spelling and grammatical errors. When I was copying chat rps to word docs, I started editing the replies for readability, and that habit kinda transferred to Tumblr, so when I'm not in a hurry, or I have an Unusually Long Attention Span, when I copy the replies, sometimes I'll just edit them, but I'm not mad about it. Just got into that habit.
How do you feel about tagging triggers? Do you tag them? How do you determine what is triggering content and what isn’t?
It is absolutely ESSENTIAL for me to have triggers tagged for ME, so of course I extend the same courtesy to others. I don't presume to know what triggers people; I've made it very clear that if anyone needs something tagged, they just have to ask, and I'll tag it. No questions asked. (Though if they want to vent about it, I'm open to that too.)
What advice would you give to someone new to rp?
Just GO for it! I know it can be scary and intimidating and overwhelming to see a great writer and think, "Gosh I want to interact with them So Much".. .and you know what, sometimes you will get rejected. Sometimes you just won't mesh with muns. Sometimes your characters don't have a very exciting dynamic. But you'll never find those Goldmine RP Partners if you don't at least ASK.
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At the Heart of Darkness (2/11)
Thank you, thank you all for the great reception for the fic. I hope that you continue to enjoy the following chapters as well. I'm sorry there was no update last week, but I was out of town for a wedding.
Here’s my next installment for the @captainswanbigbang. Big thanks to the Mods for working around my schedule for this, and for just being overall awesome and supportive.
This chapter has TWO ARTWORKS, WHAAAT. @sambethe was kind enough to draw one of my favorite scenes from this chapter, a moment of respite for Emma and Killian. And, she also made the banner. She's just the best, and she's captured the lightness of the scene, but the eagerness from Emma so perfectly. Check out her original post for said artwork, and for the banner!
AND @downeystarkjr has made a video. I can't even. It's soooo cool. It gives you a peek into what the whole fic is about without too many spoilers until you actually read the scene and go 'OH I GET IT NOW' which was how I felt. It's bloody incredible and amazing and just - go watch it.
As always, I'm in great debt to my beta, @accio-ambition for being such an Ace. There's so daddy-daughter fluff that she likes, and I'm pretty sure this is one of the easier chapters she had to edit, just based on the level of angst. Love you, baeeb. Go check out her own fic for CSBB, No Good Deed
Without further ado...
Summary: Killian Jones lives in the Land without Magic, with no memories of his family. Until Emma Swan comes into his life like a whirlwind, reminding about everything he had lost. He embarks on an adventure to destroy the Darkness, only to discover that Emma might not be telling him the whole story.
Rating: M
Content Warning: Mentions of Miscarriage, Angst, Gothel
Chapter 1: tumblr ao3 ff.net
Current Chapter: ao3/ff.net
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Chapter 1: I’m waving through a window
21 years ago : Enchanted Forest
“Papa, can you tell me again about the sea monster?” Alice begged, clinging to Killian with all her five-year-old might. “Please?”
Killian chuckled, knowing that if he wanted to, he could very easily slip from her grasp. He knew he ought to be sterner with her and not concede every time she begged him, but one look at her pleading, wide eyes and he caved. It was hard for his to resist his child when she asked for little. “Starfish, it’s well past your bedtime. If you don’t sleep now, you will be cranky all morning tomorrow.”
“But, Papa ,” she insisted, climbing on his chest, sitting cross-legged on his stomach. Killian huffed a little, but she hardly weighed anything. “I won’t let you go until you tell me the story,” she said, much too smug for so tiny a child.
Killian did not have the heart to point out he could quite simply lift her off of him and force her to sleep. She was forced to stay in this wretched tower all day, every day of her life - the least he could do was tell her another story. He grabbed one of her small hands in his and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. “Alright, my little pirate. You have me as your hostage. I will tell you the story about the sea monster.” He struggled not to laugh as she folded her arms, leaning back against his thighs, as he had had his knees raised. “Comfortable, are you?”
“Aye, aye, C’ptn,” she said, saluting him clumsily.
He laughed out right at that, tickling her belly and making her giggle. “Papa, stop,” she protested in between giggles. “I want story!”
“Alright, alright.” He was just about to start the tale, when he heard a scraping noise from outside, putting him on high alert. He strained his ears, hoping he had just imagined it, but when he heard it again, he sat up immediately. He lifted Alice off of him, despite her protests, and put her in bed. He reached for his cutlass from where he’d hid it, before turning to her. “Alice, I need you to listen carefully to Papa. Stay here and do not make a sound, alright?”
Alice stared at him wide-eyed before her eyes shifted to his cutlass. Killian turned her head gently with his hook so she was looking at him again. “Alice, love, listen to me. Do you want to have a real adventure?” he asked, forcing more than enough excitement in his tone.
“Yeah!” she exclaimed. “Let’s play pirates!”
“Aye, aye, my little fish. We are playing pirates, and now Papa’s gotta beat the bad guys. You need to stay here until it’s safe, alright?” he whispered, leaning closer to her and putting his finger to his lip.
“Alright, Papa,” she whispered back, mimicking his action. Killian smiled at her, before turning to face the only window in the tower, getting ready to battle whoever it was that came through.
He adjusted his grip on his blade, slipping into his old Captain Hook persona. While he was expecting all forms of danger and evil, including the woman who gave birth to his child, he was still surprised to see a blonde slip through the window, dressed in trousers and a shirt. She stopped in her tracks when she saw him, her eyes widening, in surprise or fear, he was not sure.
“Identify yourself, thief,” he demanded, moving towards her, keeping Alice hidden from her sight.
The blonde’s confusion turned into irritation. “I am no thief. I’m Princess Emma of Misthaven.”
Present : Land without Magic
It hadn’t been hard for Emma to follow Mr. Castle’s instructions. Take a flight - and public transit - to a sleepy town in Southeastern England, and she will find him. If she wasn’t so eager to be reunited with her love, she would have laughed at how simple it all seemed. She had been in this land for over a year, and she had quickly realised that money could buy her anything - even fake papers and identity. For all that she wanted for in life - being reunited with Killian and Alice, breaking the wretched curse that forced them apart, and getting her hands around Gothel’s neck - money was not one of them. Killian’s supply of gold had been seemingly endless, but just a pursefull has been more than enough for her to afford the luxury of a new identity and means of travel in this metal craft that flew.
To say she was wary of this mode of transportation would be a gross understatement. And as helpful as the wine the helpers on the craft had been pouring for her was, it was only enough to dull her anxiety, not quell it. When the plane seemed to get more turbulent than usual, she gripped the handrests tight, trying to think of anything but being stuck in something that seemed to fly without any magic.
21 years ago : The Enchanted Forest
Killian’s eyebrows raised incredulously. “You’re raving mad, lass. Princess Emma is but a child now. Who are you, really?” He stepped up to her now, pressing his blade against her throat before she could draw the sword at her hip.
Emma rolled her eyes, raising her hands in surrender. “I’m not from this reality,” she huffed. “I am a Princess. I am from Misthaven. I’m just not from the same reality as you.”
Killian’s brows furrowed, uncertain if he should trust this stranger. “If you really are who you say you are, why are you here?”
“Listen, friend. I have been on the run from the savages in the villages, and this was the first place I could find. I did not know it was occupied.”
Killian did not want to lower his weapon, especially when she claimed to be on the run. “Well, it is occupied. So you would do well to be on your way, lass. Unless you want to meet a worse fate.” But before Emma could retaliate, he heard Alice speak up, coming out from under the blankets.
“Papa, I don’t want to play pirates anymore.” Killian resisted the urge to groan out loud, ignoring the surprised look on Emma’s face as he turned to face his daughter.
“Darling, I told you to stay in bed, and stay quiet.” But Alice ignored him, her eyes wide as she noticed the presence of another person. Before he could grab a hold of her, Alice ran over to the newcomer, a big grin on her face.
“Are you a friend? I’m Alice,” she stated, with all the tact of a five-year-old, holding her hand out.
Emma gaped at Alice, trying and failing to come up with an appropriate response. Killian ran his hand through his hair, walking over to his daughter and pulling her to his side. “Like I said, lass, this tower is occupied. Whatever your grievances with the villagers, they are your own. I will not allow you to bring my daughter into any trouble.” His voice was low and soft, but the threat was clear.
Emma eyed his hook warily before she squared her shoulders. “They think me a witch. I’m not - I’m just -” Emma paused, composing herself. “I’m gifted with light magic. My parents were Snow White and Prince Charming, like in this reality - but they were defeated by The Evil Queen in mine. I had to escape.”
Killian’s expression softened, but as much as he empathised with this woman, he could not risk Alice’s safety. “I’m sorry to hear about your parents, lass. I really am. But I cannot let you stay here - I need to put my daughter first.” He felt Alice squirm in his hold, and he held her back.
Emma looked defeated, nodding in understanding. She backed away, getting ready to leave, when Alice’s voice stopped her.
“Can you really do magic?” the little girl asked, her curiosity and wonder blatant.
Emma smiled softly, looking to Killian questioningly. He reluctantly nodded, still keeping his grip on Alice. Emma crouched to Alice’s height, holding out her hand, drawing from the magic within her. Moments later, a daisy laden flower crown was dangling from her fingers.
Alice gasped, reaching out to it instinctively, but she quickly remembered her place and pulled her hand back. Emma couldn’t help but smile at her, holding the crown out to her. “May I?” Emma asked Alice, chuckling when the girl nodded eagerly.
Emma placed the crown delicately on Alice’s head, grinning at the bright smile that overtook Alice’s face. “There. Now you’re a princess, too,” Emma declared.
“I’m a pirate princess,” Alice corrected, prompting a chuckle from her father.
“That you are, Starfish. Now say goodbye to the kind lady, and get yourself in bed. It is well past your bedtime.”
Alice nodded; she reached for Emma’s hand, shaking it. “Thanks for my crown.” She paused, watching Emma contemplatively. “If you can do magic, can you get me out of this tower?” Alice wondered out loud, not realising her father’s sudden change in demeanor.
Emma’s brows furrowed at Alice’s question, before she turned to Killian. He sighed, perhaps for the hundredth time that night, kneeling beside Alice and turning her to face him. He smiled painfully at her, brushing wayward strands of hair from her eyes. “Alice, I’m not certain Emma here can do that, darling.”
“But she said she can do magic, Papa. You said magic was keeping me here,” Alice protested, scowling at him. He knew that look, that deep frown. She was trying to force her tears back, and she was getting ready to start a fight. It broke his heart to keep disappointing her, but he had no choice.
“What is she talking about?” Emma asked, drawing the attention of both father and daughter toward her again. “Is she being kept here against her will?” she demanded, raising to her full height, and her hand placed on the pommel of her sword threateningly.
Her response irked Killian, as irrational as it was. Emma had no inkling of his or Alice’s history, but she already seemed to have jumped to an unsavory conclusion. That just rubbed him wrong. He rose to his feet too, lifting Alice with him. “I’m not sure you have any right to imply whatever it is you are, lass,” he warned her. “My daughter was cursed to the confines of this wretched tower, but if you dare insinuate that I am holding her hostage, I-” Keeping in mind the presence of his child, he held back on his threats. “It would not end well for you, princess or not.”
He saw Emma’s stance relax, her guilt evident as she glanced away from his gaze. He was glad that no matter how long it had been since he had given up being a pirate, he was still able to exude an air of authority. “I-I’m sorry. I spoke out of turn,” Emma replied, sounding remorseful. She seemed to hesitate before adding. “I know you want me gone, but I am trained in magic and the mystical arts - I could see what I could do about the spell keeping your daughter in this tower.”
Alice’s face lit up at Emma’s offer, and she was nodding before Killian could even process what Emma had said. Emma looked to Killian then, sensing his reluctance. “My word may not mean much to you, but I swear, I will not do anything to harm you or your daughter.”
Killian swallowed thickly, knowing that he had no choice but to agree. There was no more harm this woman could do. Alice was already stuck in this tower. If there was even a small chance that Emma could free his child, he had to trust her. “Aye, you’re right. I will pay you handsomely for your work, lass - if there is any chance at all to free my girl of her imprisonment, I want to know.”
Alice leaned tiredly against his shoulder then, making him realise how late it was. “That can wait till morning. I should put this little lass to bed,” he said, adjusting his grip on Alice. “You can take the hammock, Emma. I can sleep on the bed here, with Alice.”
Emma nodded, smiling and waving goodnight to Alice. “Thank you…?”
“Killian Jones, milady. I’d bow, but I have precious cargo in my arms,” he joked. Emma waved him off, smiling at a now sleeping Alice.
“Thank you, Killian Jones . I appreciate you letting me stay the night.” Killian nodded, walking to the secluded corner that served as Alice’s room, drawing the heavy curtains to afford them some privacy.
He place Alice under her cover gently, trying not to jostle her awake. He knelt at her bedside, smiling at the peaceful look on his daughter’s face, knuckles tracing her cheek softly, before he brushed a kiss goodnight on her forehead. He then settled on the armchair next to her bed, keeping watch. As much as he would like to trust this woman, he knew better. No matter how noble she might portray her intentions as, magic always came with a price. He could not afford that price to be Alice.
-/-
Present : Land without Magic
It was quite late in the evening when Emma finally reached her destination, and she was weary from both the plane ride and her commute to this little town. She could not wait to see Killian; if she had a little less restraint, she would have gone knocking on his door, his lack of memories be damned. She was half-tempted to do that, but she couldn’t bring herself to disrupt his life so abruptly. She did need him to help her find Alice, yes, but selfishly, she wanted just a moment with him before he remembered.
She sat heavily on the bed at the inn where she was staying. Her hand once again reached for the ring around her neck, feeling the warmth of the magic residing in it. While she could not strictly use magic in this land, it did not mean she couldn’t channel magical objects. She wasn’t a fool, coming here with no way to defend herself against Gothel. She was certain that vile witch had own arsenal for her dark magic.
Emma brought her feet up, sitting more comfortably on the bed before she grabbed her journal. She made sure to record everything that had happened in the past twenty years, all of Alice’s milestones and about their adventures together. The first few weeks after Killian left them, when Alice was inconsolable, writing had been Emma’s solace, the only way she could talk about her own anger and frustration, her heartbreak and pain. A part of her was uncertain if she would ever show it to Killian, knowing how much it would hurt him. She would gladly tell him anything he wanted to know, but for now, this journal was for her eyes alone.
There had been days, in the beginning, when she had snuck back to the ruins of the tower sometimes, selfishly wishing for a moment that they had never tried to break the spell. The next, she would remember how miserable Alice had been, stuck within those walls, and hated herself for ever wanting to go back to such times. Days like that, her dark days, those were the hardest - when she was filled with nothing but anger and hate toward Killian, Gothel, the whole lot of them. But the person she hated the most was herself, for it was her idea that led to their downfall in the first place. Emma diligently penned her thoughts down, the self-loathing rising and cresting within her. She would take this moment now, to dwell and cry; tomorrow would be a new day. She had a pirate to find and a family to reunite, and hoped desperately that she was still welcome in that family.
-/-
21 years ago : The Enchanted Forest
Emma blinked against the too-bright light falling through the large window, stretching her arms above her head. She almost toppled over in her hammock, catching herself before she fell and managing to land on her feet with all the grace of a drunkard. She squinted at her surroundings, trying to catch her bearings; it took her a moment to remember where she was. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes, looking around the room, searching for Killian Jones and his daughter. At that exact moment, the man himself walked from the alcove that served as Alice’s room, carrying the half-asleep child in his arms.
“Good morning, lass,” he greeted, his voice hoarse and quiet. “Alice is not a morning person,” he whispered in explanation as he headed to the small kitchen area, getting a fire going and setting water to boil, all one-handedly while holding his daughter, as if he had done it a thousand times before. He probably had.
“Good morning,” Emma murmured. “If you want, I could hold Alice for you,” she offered, feeling useless as he went about his morning routine.
“That’s quite alright,” he said, refusing her as politely as he could. And if she noticed Killian’s grip on Alice tightening, she chose to ignore it. “Would you like some tea?”
“That would be lovely, thank you.” Emma observed him quietly, a pang in her chest as she saw him interact with a sleepy Alice, whispering to his child with a soft cadence to this voice.
As if sensing her eyes on him and Alice, Killian looked up and their gazes met. She held it for a moment too long before she averted her eyes, embarrassed at being caught staring. Killian cleared his throat, adjusting his hold on Alice. “The spell, ahem, how long would that take you?”
“It should not take me long to assess how strong the barrier that is keeping your daughter in here is. But do you mind telling me a bit more about how it happened? It might help me understand the original spell better.”
Killian, who had been pouring their tea, almost dropped the kettle at her question. He froze for a moment, looking down at Alice with a pained expression. He did not want to rehash it if she was awake, but fortunately, Alice was still asleep. He brushed a hand down his daughter’s locks, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, and finally turned to Emma again. “A witch used blood magic to keep her trapped in here. I can leave the tower and come back - anyone can, as you know - but Alice cannot. She has been trapped in here from the moment she was born.”
Emma exhaled sharply, her heart hurting for the little girl. She knew well enough how unfair having one’s freedom and choice taken away could feel. She could not imagine knowing nothing beyond these walls from the moment she was born. “I am so sorry to hear that, Killian.” She hesitated before asking, “What about Alice’s mother?”
“She is no longer in the picture,” Killian snapped, startling Emma. He took a deep breath, calming himself before he continued. “She is not here. Now, I would appreciate it if you could get on with the spell, aye?”
-/-
Present : Land without magic
Killian woke up feeling extremely restless that morning. He spent an hour in the home gym working up a sweat. He wished he could work on his new book, but he had promised Will not to keep messing with it, to leave it be. It’s perfect as is, Jones. At some point, you need to stop editing , he’d said when Killian had called him last night with a few changes. All he had left was the dedication. After all these years of the same single line, he felt it was time to change it. He’d always dedicated his books to the people who struggle the same way he had with his alcoholism, and while that would remain the same, it just did not seem like enough this time around. He hadn’t told Will this yet, but this would be the last book in his series - The Davy Jones Chronicles. It felt like a good place to end Captain Hook’s story, as elusive as it was.
Maybe that was why he felt so restless. Or maybe you are still thrown off by Eloise , a voice at the back of his head said. Which he dismissed quickly, of course. There was nothing wrong with the woman: she just came on a little too strong. Maybe a walk into town would help clear his head, and help expel his restless energy. With the decision made, Killian had a quick shower, got dressed, and headed into town for the day.
After a quick stop for breakfast at his favorite little cafe at the bottom of the hill his cottage was on, he found himself wandering Main Street aimlessly. While he had been in this quaint town for a little over a month, he hadn’t taken the time to fully explore it. A Wednesday seemed like the perfect day to do just that - most people would be at work, and he could take his own sweet time. He ducked into a small alley, not unlike the one Eloise’s shop was in, surprised by the number of vintage and antiquities shops housed in the narrow lane.
He took his time exploring each one, with no agenda in mind. One of the stores seemed to have a nautical theme going on, intriguing him. He stepped in, looking around with a childlike wonder; he was hit with an odd sense of nostalgia, a certain longing for the life of a pirate that he only had written about so far. He hadn’t been out on the ocean in a long while, not since his brother passed. It never felt right to go without Liam at his side. He turned his back on that life a long time ago; it was only Captain Hook who now had adventures on the water, not Killian Jones.
He stopped short when he spotted a compass on the display case. It was a fairly ordinary one, but it gave him a strange sense of deja vu. He stood there staring at it for so long that the salesperson approached him, asking if he was interested in taking a closer look. For a moment, he was tempted, even perhaps to purchase it; but the moment passed and he decided against it. What could he possibly need a compass for?
He wandered out of the store, meandering through the same alley. It was only when he was passing a secondhand bookstore that something caught his eye in his periphery, making him halt in his tracks. He turned, eyes wide in disbelief, staring through the glass display window of the store at the person inside. It was the blonde haired woman from his dreams, he knew it. He had never seen her face, but he’d seen her from behind and this woman, whoever she was, was her. She had her back to him, so he made a quick decision, pushing his way through the door, his eyes never leaving her. She turned away from the person she was conversing with when she heard the bell, her eyes falling on his.
The moment his eyes met her sharp green ones, Killian’s breath hitched, and he could have sworn his heart had skipped a beat. She stared at him with the same kind of surprise, lips parted slightly, and Killian wondered if she was having a similar visceral reaction as he did. Before he could stop himself, he drew closer to her. “You...I…” He struggled to speak, not knowing how he could explain himself.
After watching him struggle for a moment longer, the woman finally spoke, a barely discernible tremble in her voice. “Are you alright, sir?” she asked, politely. With no recognition in her eyes. She didn’t know him and for some reason he could feel the disappointment swell deep in his chest.
When he realised the woman was still waiting for his response, he drew back from his thoughts. “Yes, yes. I’m fine,” he assured her, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks. “I’m sorry, you just look very familiar.” When he saw her shoulders tense, he felt the need to apologise. “I must be mistaken, forgive me. Killian Jones.” He held out his hand.
She seemed to hesitate for a moment, her hand clutching the chain around her neck briefly before she took his hand and said, “Emma. Swan. I-I’m sorry I wasn’t who you were looking for.”
Killian was not certain, but Emma seemed oddly upset at that. He noticed the book she had been holding, making him grin involuntarily. “ The Davy Jones Chronicles? Excellent choice,” he commented gleefully.
Emma laughed softly, clutching the book tighter. “I read the first book in the series and got, shall I say, hooked .”
Now it was his turn to laugh, rubbing at the back of his neck. Did she know ? he wondered. Did she know that I am the one who wrote it ?
It seemed to have dawned on Emma at the same time, as her eyes widened. “Wait, Killian Jones? As in the writer? This is your book?”
He chuckled in embarrassment, nodding at her. “Yeah, it is. I-I’m really glad you like it, Miss Swan.”
“Emma is fine,” she replied, waving at him dismissively.
“Right. Emma.” He felt a strange connection to this Emma Swan, but he did not want to come off too strong, again, and frighten her. He was so certain that she was the blonde haired woman from his dreams; as crazy as that sounded, he believed that with all his heart. “Perhaps, we could discuss books that aren’t mine over a cup of coffee?” he suggested, all while berating himself for being too forward.
Emma seemed like she wanted to decline, but she surprised him. “I’d like that, Killian.”
-/-
21 years ago : The Enchanted Forest
Killian returned from putting Alice back in bed, soothing her sleepy questions with assured murmurs. “I’ll be right back, love,” he whispered, extracting himself from her hold.
When he returned to the front room, he found Emma pacing, holding a small, weathered notebook in her hands. “Are you ready, Emma?” he asked, startling her.
She looked up at him contemplatively, before she nodded. “Yes, I am. But I’m going to need a small drop of Alice’s blood.”
“Absolutely not!” Killian protested, his fierce protectiveness rising to the fore. “You will not harm her.”
“Killian, she is trapped by blood magic,” Emma tried to explain, but he cut her off.
“I don’t bloody well care,” he snarled. “Find another way.”
“It’s just a drop-”
“Another. Way,” he growled out. “I am not going to wake my sleeping child just so you can take her blood. I thought you were going to assess how strong the barrier was.”
“I was just trying to think ahead,” Emma snapped, losing her patience. “Isn’t that the logical next step, to break the barrier?”
“We will come to that when we do,” he argued. “First tell me if we can break it.”
Emma seemed ready to counter, but she held her tongue, scowling at him. “Fine.” She walked toward the window, holding her hand out as if to touch the barrier. Killian knew from experience that only Alice would be able to see and touch it. It was meant only for her, after all. Which is why, when he saw the slight shimmer of the barrier, he was taken aback.
“Was that you?” he asked, standing next to Emma.
“Yes, now keep quiet. I need to concentrate,” she hissed, her eyes closed.
He watched her while she worked, a small furrow between her eyebrows. Killian felt a swell of gratitude for Emma, knowing that she could have lied about her magic, or even refused to humour Alice and help them. But she went out her way to try and find a way to break the spell, even without him asking that of her. And he had been nothing but curt and cutting. Liam would disapprove greatly of his behaviour, tell him it was bad form.
He was brought back to the present when he heard Emma gasp. He saw her pull her hands back, cradling them against her chest. He went on alert, turning her by the shoulder to face him, not thinking about how forward he was being. “What is it? Are you alright?”
Emma nodded unconvincingly, biting into her lip quite hard. “It’s nothing. Whoever put up the spell is pretty fucking awful,” she swore, walking to the cask of water in the kitchen, grabbing a bowl and filling it with water.
“Emma, what happened?” Killian asked, following her. He stopped when he saw her hands, his breath catching in his throat. They were burned, badly. “Bloody hell, lass.”
Emma ignored him, pouring the cold water over her wounds, wincing in pain.
“Let me help you with that, darling,” he said, grabbing the bowl from her. If either of the them noticed the change in endearment, they did not comment on it. He washed her wound more thoroughly, holding her hand firmly with his hook.
“You don’t have to do this,” Emma murmured, trying not to hiss. Killian did not respond, instead grabbing a box off a nearby shelf, opening it and grabbing some fresh cloth and a salve.
“This will help with the burns,” he explained, indicating her to hold her hand out. “This will sting,” he warned, applying the clear substance on her hands, shushing her when she cried out. “My Alice gets into a lot of scrapes, the little monkey. I always have medicine at hand.”
“Is that supposed to be funny?” Emma asked, wincing when he pressed the cloth over her hand, wrapping it around her hand.
He chuckled, shaking his head. “I try.” He shrugged. “Now hold still.” He finished wrapping the bandage, using his teeth to tie it, his eyes never leaving hers.
Emma swallowed thickly. She quickly looked away, letting him finish treating her other hand. When he did, she pulled her hands back, clearing her throat. “Thanks.”
“Emma, you just got burned doing magic for my daughter. Patching you up was the least I could do.” He pulled up a stool, making her sit, before he continued. “Now, what happened?”
“Well, the witch who put up the spell made sure it can’t be broken by another magic user. A great contingency plan, burn the magic right out of the other person,” she complained.
Killian sucked in a sharp breath. “Bloody hell, don’t tell me your magic-”
“No, no,” she assured him. “Light magic is not that easy to destroy. But that’s why I was burned. My magic is temporarily, let’s say, paralysed. I can’t use it for a while, but it’ll come back, don’t worry,” she said, much too flippantly for Killian’s taste.
“Of course I’ll worry, Emma. This- this happened because of me. I’m so sorry.”
She squeezed his arm reassuringly. “Hey, it’s alright. If I had to, I would do it again.”
“Why? Why help us? You don’t even know us.”
Emma breathed out deeply, looking down at her hands and avoiding his gaze. “I never got the chance to save my parents. I hated my magic for a long time...but I have a gift. I couldn’t waste it. Helping you and Alice is the right thing to do. It’s what they would have done. This is the only way I can honour them.”
-/-
Present: Land without Magic
“Since you know what I do for a living, I seem to be at a disadvantage here, lass. Care to share?” Killian asked, looking at her over his large cup of coffee.
Emma panicked, unsure what would pass for a proper job in this realm. “I- I’m in the business of helping people in need,” she said finally, hiding her own nerves by taking a large sip of her milkshake.
“A volunteer? That’s wonderful, Emma,” he praised, his eyes lighting up. Emma resisted the urge to lean over and kiss him. It was extremely hard, seeing the man she loved - who, in their world, in a world where he had his memories and no dark curse, loved her back - sitting across from her, right within arms reach, after twenty years of separation, and not be with him. Not be able to hold him, and kiss him. Not be able to share her troubles with him, and have him just be there for her. This was Killian Jones, the essence of him had not changed with the false memories and two decades, but it was not her Killian Jones - her pirate, her love, the father of her favorite child.
However, he was physically the same. Same handsome, soft features; same stormy eyes; same sharp jawline. If she hadn’t suffered through these years, she would not have believed that it’s been twenty years.
“Emma? Are you still with me?” Killian asked, waving a hand in front of her face, drawing her away from her reminiscing.
She shook her head, smiling at him. “Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Uh, what were you saying?”
“I was just asking what kind of volunteering do you do?”
And frankly, being put on the spot, the only thing Emma could think of was… “Hospital. I volunteer at the hospital.”
Killian looked impressed, and seemed like he was about to ask her more about her job. She had to divert him from that, lest she blurt something suspicious. So far she had been able to blend in well in this world, and not attract any attention to herself. The longer she stayed hidden, the less likely she would alert Gothel to her presence. She reached for his hand without further thought, drawing his attention away from whatever he was about to ask her.
“So, Killian Jones. What made you come up with the pirate story?” she asked, her smile coy.
He huffed out a chuckle, his hand scratching behind his ear. The move was something her Killian did, especially when he was embarrassed or shy. It made her heart constrict. No matter what, he was still in there. No curse or memory spell would take that away from him. She was so caught up in her own thoughts, again, she almost missed what he said. “-came to me in my dream. It felt so real, like they were my memories, from a past life or something.”
Emma looked up sharply, wondering if he actually remembered something. “Dreams? What kind of dreams?” she asked, hoping her tone conveyed mild curiosity and not the desperation that she felt.
He hesitated, and Emma hoped that he wasn’t regretting telling her. “Oh, just dreams, you know? That I was a pirate captain, Captain Hook,” he huffed, holding up his prosthetic. “Maybe my subconscious was trying to make me feel better about my lack of a hand,” he tried to joke, but Emma could sense the pain in his words. And so she did something she often used to do back home. She grabbed both his hand, real and prosthetic, in her hands, holding them with equal tenderness.
“You don’t need to play it off, Killian. It’s alright to mourn a loss,” she whispered, hoping that she was not overstepping. She was not used to stepping on eggshells around him, it was so odd for her to be careful of how familiar she was with him.
Thankfully, he did not seem to be offended by her forwardness, instead smiling at her gratefully. “Thank you, Emma. That was kind of you to say.”
She squeezed both his hands, her own heart swelling. It had been far too long since she could touch him, that something as simple as hand-holding made her want to never let go. A voice at the back of her head told her to get it over with, to give him his memories back. That he would want that, knowing Alice was in danger. Despite what Alice had told her, she really did want to, But he had been selfish once, forcing this on them. It was her turn to be selfish, to have this moment with him, just for a while, and not worry about Gothel or the curse or anything else. Just for a moment.
He would hate her for it later, she knew. But she had to do what was right, for her, just once.
-/-
Emma and Killian had spent the rest of the afternoon, and most of the evening, talking, sharing a couple of bottles of wine between the two of them. Emma listened, enraptured, as he told her about his travels. And Killian in turn asked her about her volunteer work, and she told him as much as she could without sounding crazy. They parted ways, albeit quite reluctantly, with each other’s numbers in their respective phones, with a promise of him calling her soon.
She walked back to where she was staying, a large smile on her face. She was practically skipping! But much like all good things, her happiness too was short lived. She rounded a corner, and ran into the last person she was expecting to see.
“Gothel,” she gasped, her hand flying to her ring, and drawing power from it. But before she could react, Gothel drove her hand through her chest.
“Well, well, well. If it isn’t Princess Emma,” she taunted, squeezing Emma’s heart and making her wheeze at the pressure, her hand clutching Gothel’s arm, trying to get her to budge.
“Let- let me go.”
“I might not be able to take your heart, Princess. But for what I have planned, I don’t need to remove your heart. I just need to poison it.”
Emma struggled in her hold, her eyes tearing up. “You can’t stop me,” Emma panted, shouting in pain when Gothel’s vile magic entered her heart.
“Oh, this is just to subdue you, dear. I’ll find Killian before you’ll get a chance to warn him.” And with that, she pulled her hand out of Emma’s chest, leaving her slumped against the wall, struggling to catch her breath. “You should have taken the chance when you had it, dear. Didn’t your mother teach you not to dawdle?”
Emma clutched at her chest, feeling the poison do its work. Despite the pain she was in, Emma couldn’t help the relief that spread through her. She might have waited to tell Killian the truth, but she was not a fool. He was protected by a very strong cloaking spell, and it would take Gothel a while to break it. Emma just hoped that she would recover before Gothel managed to find Killian.
That was her last thought before the world turned dark and Emma lay slumped against the alley wall, alone and powerless.
-/-
Later that night, Killian’s dreams were plagued by the same blonde woman. But this one was much different that the other dreams. The little girl, Alice, who called him Papa was not there. It was just the blonde, with her back turned to him, still. But before he could resign himself to the fact that he would yet again wake up before he could see who she was, she turned, making him gasp out loud when he saw her face.
“Emma,” he said, breathlessly. “I knew it.”
“Run,” she whispered back. “Run!”
Killian gasped awake, a sharp pain radiating through his chest. But despite the pain, and abruptly waking up, he remembered his dream very clearly. The blonde from his dreams was real, it was Emma.
Which meant….Which meant Alice must be real too.
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Jenny’s Belated Live Blogging - 22 February 2018
- okay so there’s still no way I can speak coherently about this episode. This will still be a mess. But in general, I love Maxine. As I’ve been reminded by scrolling through tumblr all day yesterday and today, she’s so great at everything. From romance, to those deep meaningful conversations that need to be had, to the humor, to the heart and warmth she instills in every episode. She’s amazing
- Let’s get Ross out of the way first. I mean normally, I’m at least sympathetic to his plight but in this episode, I used his scenes to shove some food in my mouth since I was watching during my lunch break. But they were good. I just couldn’t care. Haha
- The Tracy parts of the Tracy stuff were great. Amy continues to do amazing with the material and I’m glad she’s getting to show her range more. I was happy to see Tracy get to be the one to take Phil down and not have David come in to save her. Thank god Frank is at least a decent human and gave her a hug after she told him what happened. Yep, still side eyeing you for that one David. It’d be a lot easier to believe his explanation if he hadn’t you know...cheated on her with Leyla and continued to lie about it and play on her insecurities to do so. But whatevs...on to more important things!
- Oh right...also...couldn’t care less about the micro brewery stuff but at least that provided Charity with an escape plan.
- I loved everything about the girls night out + Robert. It was so nice to just see everyone out having fun and see characters interact that don’t normally get a chance to. It was a welcome change of pace. And I like Robert having friends even if it was just for this episode.
- Robert and Vanessa was amazing. I really want them to at least stay friendly here and there. It was great seeing her encouraging him after he had been supportive of her earlier. This is the kind of character relationship stuff I like to see. More please.
- The Vanity content was amazing. It had just the right amount of weight in the episode, where all the heavy emotional stuff was with robron but they got to have a fun little reunion of their own and take their next step. I’m so glad that they seem to really want to go somewhere with them as a couple. I was so worried at the beginning that they would just let it be a one off.
- I loved seeing Charity go to the club and slide in there alongside Aaron. I love Aaron and Charity together even if he was way too preoccupied staring at Robert to bother. It was just fun. And Vanessa being all ‘she cares if I live or die as Aaron just couldn’t care was perfect. But the banter between Vanity was great and I’m glad to see them decide to be girlfriends.
- And then you know...there was a robron reunion. Haha. Where do I even begin?
- Big fan of Robert having to be dragged out by the girls because he was having second thoughts as well as his moping during the ‘i never’ game. These two are hopeless. But bravo to Maxine for sticking in a reference to portacabin sex.
- The Vic and Aaron conversation in the back room was perfect. It reminded me so much of their dynamic back in 2011 when Aaron moved into the pub. It was so nice to see them like that again. Just snarky and playful but with an underside of warmth and care that their relationship has grown into now they’re family.
- I loved Bernice and Vic dragging Robert out on the dance floor. He was so intent on just moping the whole time but they weren’t having it and that was lovely.
- Robert is a failure at flirting when it’s not Aaron. Great.
- Aaron’s look of surprise when Alex showed up was priceless. He just genuinely had no idea what to say to that sudden change of events. ‘Oh sorry I was just here stalking my husband to stop him moving on...’. Also just the fact that Aaron was just blatantly standing there watching him, pint in hand, not caring what that looked like. I love it.
- I loved all the girls being so protective of Robert when they saw Aaron there with Alex. It was nice that they weren’t just used to get Rob there but actually were genuinely invested in the situation.
- The Alex break up cracked me up because he did it so quick. He was just watching Robert dance badly with a little smile on his face and then it was like ‘oh...right...you. Yeah I can’t do this. I miss my husband.’ And that he was fully about to do it in front of the nameless friend was even better.
- I kind of love that he didn’t just go right over to Robert after that. I liked that there was that space and time to let things play out. I fully expected there to be a big moment in the club but I’m kind of glad there wasn’t. I adored that little scene outside before Robert went off with Mike when they joked about the bisexual contract and the crimes against dancing. It was so very them.
- So very sad we didn’t get to see that cab ride home with Aaron and the girls but I’m glad to know it happened.
- I’m so happy that Maxine put a Paddy and Aaron scene in there because it was perfect. The humor with Paddy’s back lightened the tone of Aaron’s heartbreak but I loved that he was so open about his intentions with Paddy. It was a simple little scene but it was lovely to see him not bottling it up or going off by himself right away.
- Aaron breaking into the garage. Haha. They really do hate doors. The fact that they both went to the garage is so sentimental and so grossly them. I love it. That whole scene was amazing. Robert’s realization that Aaron had ended things with Alex. Ryan and his face are perfect. And Aaron being like ‘trust me, I’m not broken up about alex’ was great.
- The hand holding!!! They finally learned how to do it properly and I was so pleased. And Aaron looked so happy to be holding his hand again which just makes me emotional considering his character growth.
- The deep conversations were had. I’m glad they talked about everything, that they didn’t just gloss over and ignore the hard stuff. I was happy to finally hear some thoughts about Seb from Aaron. Was it enough? Was there a good enough build up to that point. Probably not but it was something and I appreciate Maxine’s words for Aaron. I think they ring true to him and his character and I think it works going forward even if how they got there is still an issue. As long as Aaron is happy, I’ll be happy, even if I’m still critical of the writing for the storyline as a whole. And I was glad she put in that line about Robert not forcing him on Aaron. That was important as well as Aaron saying ‘he wouldn’t have to’
- I’m so happy Aaron brought up their communication issues as their main problem because it’s so true. They were always afraid to be honest with each other because they feared that truth would cause them to lose each other. And that led to so much pain. That has to change going forward and it seems like now it might. They’re in such better places now.
- I knew Robert was going to try and pull away though and protect Aaron and himself. I’m glad he got that speech out though about how hard it was for him to lose Aaron and how he can’t go through it again. I mean, he’s insane but we all love that about him. Like I said, Emma Barton is rolling over in her grave.
- Aaron’s speech!!! God it was like every ask we’ve ever answered about why Aaron loves Robert and it was beautiful. It was also very Aaron with the insults at the beginning. Gotta get in those digs about his music tastes!! And I loved him saying that he sees the good things Robert does, the good in him even if other people don’t. It’s always been what’s drawn Aaron to him and I’m glad Robert got to hear that because he always doubts that about himself. And the ending with the come Home was beautiful. And Aaron’s little ‘well okay you can talk now’. Perfection.
- I died at Robert’s first response being ‘I’m actually a really good dancer’. So good!! And Maxine getting in on the Adele discourse with the ‘we definitely don’t have a song’ exchange.
- And the Mr Sugden/Mr Dingle call back!!! I wanted it after prison but it was tainted then so I’m glad we got it now. And it made my reunion tag super relevant.
- Aaron’s little ‘shut up’ and the smiles and the kisses and the hugging. Clinging on to each other so damn tight. It was perfect.
- And holding hands and walking off home...while leaving the door to keeper’s open because their love is more important than Vic’s safety. Just brilliant. Hahaha.
- Safe to say, this episode was perfection and I’ll never be over it!!!!
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