#gotta love a good call back
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#permission granted ✔️
LOVE IN THE AIR (2022), Ep. 6 // LOVE SEA (2024), Ep. 3
#love in the air#love in the air the series#boss chaikamon#noeul nuttarat#fort thitipong#peat wasuthorn#thai bl#bl drama#thai drama#raemakes#s:lita#s:ls#user25shades#uservix#userspicy#userrlaura#esmetracks#userkitkat#tusermona#hornyblsource#gotta love a good call back#in this house we do not censor
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the way the island throws off your familiar's behavior because it wants you to kill them. you need magic, don't you? your familiar exists to help you, and look at it, it can't do anything right now. it's just an animal, really. it doesn't look or act the way it used to. maybe you loved them before, but they don't even respond to you now, and times have changed. and you need magic, don't you?
#laughs awkwardly#dimension 20#misfits and magic spoilers#the contrast between victor who literally went to hell to get his familiar back because that's his best friend#and this. lemli's such a fun character for this. like we all love lemli right? she's so sweet and normal!#she openly says one of her two favorite things is drowning men and we're all like haha how whimsical! cause she's a siren!#until it's real. she doesn't bat an eye when philtrum goes down. you eat what you kill here or you starve#its a combo of like. yeah it's not like philtrum was a good person before. a certain type of people were drawn / called here#because they respond to this and it fits their worldview. but also holy shit this island#we gotta get out of here bro
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Got to my favorite part of Efenity's playthroughs in my current one 👌🏼😩
Astarion's ascension, the cold and unsexy sex scene (that's suspiciously genuine, intimate, and tender hmm) and the turning of Efenity. <3
The other fun part is finally getting to dress them up as Lord and Lady. Taking Astarion from vagabond-looking rogue to commanding Lord with OTT drip, and taking Efie from leather-clad streetrat to the glam baddie she has strived for her whole life but couldn't afford to be lmao
ALSO random, but this time, I brought Jaheira along instead of Gale, just to see what she'd say (if anything) and it's cute how much confidence she has in my Tav and Astarion to be "good" people 🤣 She really doesn't know them at all. She isn't there during his ascension in Efie's canon, but it was fun just to see what she would say.
#ascended astarion#lord astarion#astarion#astarion ancunin#astarion and tav#tav x astarion#bg3#bg3 as#bg3 screenshots#jaheira#bg3 jaheira#efenity#yes I saw someone call the AA scene “cold” and “no joy” which is so weird to me#I mean if you feel that way about it that's fine but why talk about it as some sort of insult to people who DO like it#if you feel some kinda way about AA and his love scene that's a good thing#enjoy what you enjoy and hate what you hate#but why you gotta mock those of us who actually like it lol#ascending him is such a cathartic joy for me and the whole rp with efenity is really comforting to me#especially right now while my family and I are going through something really hard#but that's getting personal#just wish people respected others who like things they dont like#we gotta go back to kindergarten basics I guess
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their dinamic is messy but caring but idfa about you all at same time it makes me want to explode i want to see more of them siu pls
#myart#tower of god#kami no tou#karaka#wangnan#wangnan ja#fanart#illustration#artists on tumblr#wheres my dad he was supposed pick me up 40 minutes ago IM STARVING !!???#living in a big city is shit cos theres traffic jam wherever you go i hate cities#anyway i came up with an idea for a one shot i hope ill be able to put my ideas properly and not mess up things#but its not a complrx story so itll be fine#last night i was daydreaming with me explaining my first bug ass story it truly was my one piece not other story was that complex#my dad just called me he will pick me up in anpther 30-40 minutes HELP GOD NOOOOO im actually starvjng and uuum theres a cafeteria next to#me but that brand is expensive as fuck it is good but really expensive and aint way i will spend that much money#stay tuned if you want to know how my journey to feed myself ends like#i love talking as if it were actual people expecting what i gotta say no single mf is fan mine#i love wangnan so much i could kms#hello its me from the future. so i eat lne of the most silly but yummy food ever#bought the 1st vinland saga volume nad watched look back ALL IN THE SAME DAY how cool is that mmm??????? i love living (just for today)#i miss having a job because id have a weekly income and spend half of it but recover next week and yarayara I MISS HAVING INFINITE MONEY
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I was going to have rye maaaybe start to buy into solas' whole johnny silverhand deal a little bit more in the post-weisshaupt talk -- to Progress the Arc tm/set up the beginning softening in that relationship and heighten the effect when it eventually goes. quite another way entirely -- but the sheer spectacular cruelty in hindsight of 'at least you still have varric to talk to' is such that considering where I'm intending to end up with this narratively, the stoic 'not here to make friends you fucker gimme your intel' option is simply irresistible. gotta have that echo rattling around rye's head forever when he decides that you know what? I have had enough of being nice, actually. I do want to go ape shit. someone hold my coat for me please I have some work to do and I don't want to stain it. guess for now the ol' watcher training & instincts are still kicking in enough for them to treat solas like a tricky spirit you should treat with respect and good intentions, but also shouldn't be out there offering little fingers to unless you have a whole arm lying around to spare haha
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#I LOVED weisshaupt as a mission tho. I've seen it through multiple times and still my heart was going so fucking fast haha#also bringing lucanis with you is SO funny and weirdly sweet even tho you miss the 'you call that nice and quiet??' part#(you get neve just swearing instead! a very good substitute hfdskjah sorry neve...)#it really feels like he and rook keep turning to each other as everything escalates exponentially with like...#helpless and numb but deeply companionable shrugs. we are both equally near-existentially baffled by this. but at least#we are near-existentially baffled by this *together*. thanks man. yeah I mean. she IS a cloud. i don't know what else to say here#all we can do is give it a shot right. yeah. yup. good talk dude check in with you in a minute we gotta kill some ghouls#and then the Arcs both lucanis and rye are on with davrin too especially when they're all making peace in the library...#*steeples fingers with narrative glee and excitement* yes yeeess it's all coming together#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#I love solas so much. but that comment is straight up so awful. he says it sooo... *smugly*. it's because he's frustrated#at his powerlessness and being denied access to rook's interior life and getting his hooks into them psychologically I realize#which is his best and only path back to agency at this point#but it's such an ugly instinct to drop something like that in there because it makes YOU feel better#that was not just a 'oh better remind rook they can always talk to their old pal varric for tactical reasons!' there was feeling in that#tho you know the reason I love solas is primarily the multiple other comments he has through that convo#that are laugh out loud hilarious to me. he's such a little SHIT!!! always and forever <3#listen man... in another life I'll come back for you and we'll be kinder to each other that time in the end huh
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'tis the season for cleaning !
You and Umemiya both find yourselves a whole week with nothing to do (absolutely zilch). So...you both reckon on a very needed deep cleaning of the house. What do you and Umemiya tackle first? The living room? The entrance? The bathroom? What trinkets will the two of you find and reminisce over? An old movie ticket receipt? Some polaroids? Baby photos?
[It's time for a break! Cleaning is taxing! What will the two of you have to replenish and keep your energy levels up for the day? Snacks? Fruits? Any drinks?]
The bags are tied and the bins are full -> a successful cleaning session! Aren't you feeling a bit tired? Now it's end the day...what will you and Umemiya do to wind down? A relaxing bath....or maybe a hearty dinner?
I just wanna hear you yap Mari.........*hides*
awwwww Mino ILY!!! I'll yap whenever u want me to abt whatever :0 but yapping about ume has always been like...the funnest :3c
First of all....a whole week with nothing to do?? I'd cry in relief first tbh. I do imagine I'd be laying on the couch and see the dust under the tv stand or something and immediately just...activate cleaning mode. Living room is the easiest but also the most distracting stuff is in there cause that's where we keep the scrapbooks/photo albums. Once I get a hold of those it's so over it takes like an hour to get back on track because we're both going over every picture as if we weren't both there for half of them.
We'd find a lot of stuff in my miscellaneous boxes (if i dont know where to put something it goes in there) and Ume's wondering why I have so many spare buttons. Only cause I keep them if either of us buy new clothes and they come with them and it's like...what if we DO need them??? we wont Especially if it's from a coat or smth Ume's really fond of? Kept in the box/drawer for eternity.
hmm what are we eating...I'm a handful of shredded cheese from the fridge kind of girl but I assume he makes me eat actual food, whether it's fruit from the counter or a granola bar OTL I'm making tea for sure, but he drinks water.
After all that we'd probably be exhausted so I'm calling for take out rather than dirtying the just-cleaned kitchen and further after I think we're both just curling up on the bed to watch a movie till we pass out (which only takes about 5 mins)
#should i kiss your face tho?? for such lovely questions??#mari answers#umari#I havent been yapping here enough urgh i gotta get my mojo back#its no surprise id start a pillow fight either in our room or the living room while checking the cushions or fluffing pillows#Hugeee smack right on the back of his head and then im tackled#rip mari you have died but you died happy#i love a good pillow fight tho i never laugh so hard as when i get hit in the face by a flying one#im singing in my room rn and im like “minooo minooo lovely mino...took a train to a place called renoooo” it rhymes#im also a little tirred#but we loooooove mino *swaddles you like a baby and rocks u*#im gonna come clean your house
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#man I forgot how rough it is when Beba gets sick#he’s okay but I’m the one who can’t sleep because I’m waking up and checking on him#and checking his temp#and googling things#and contemplating calling the nurses hotline#and waking up 2 hours before I gotta be up and then can’t fall back asleep#meanwhile he slowly wakes up as I’m checking his fever#and blinks up at me slowly and says good morning to me at 3 a.m.#good morning baby I love you so much plz take this Tylenol without fighting me on it#ugh yeah he’s staying home today#and I gotta go to work :(#thankfully one of us can be home with him I just wish it was me
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Favorite part about Death Note is that Light gets the Note and IMMEDIATELY becomes a serial killer fascist with a god complex.
No build-up, no Fall From Grace, no slow corruption of a good boy gradually becoming a monster. Just-- SPEED RUN STRATS. And I love that for him.
Tbh, I think there are a lot of folks (especially boys) from my high school days who would have immediately become monsters if given the power of life and death over every person around them.
It's kind of like how when people have apparently casual ableist beliefs, and you push them to elaborate on that just a little bit, they'll often end up openly saying stuff like "well, some people are just too disabled to be worth the resources it takes to support them." - Which is... eugenics. It's just eugenics, justified by the myth of scarcity. Now these folks almost certainly won't call it eugenics, or even think of it that way. But that doesn't make it NOT a core belief of the Nazis.
In a similar way, Light seems like a nice and well-adjusted boy with strong beliefs. No harm in that.
But to paraphrase Lindsay Ellis in her analysis of the Game of Thrones ending, "Power doesn't necessarily corrupt. Power reveals." [I think she was quoting someone else when she said this. It was someone who wrote a biography on LBJ. Whatever. Lindsay said it and she's smart as hell and I recommend her videos.]
And 15 minutes into the Death Note musical, I'm already thinking about how so many beliefs "casually" held by well-adjusted, nice people immediately reveal their monstrousness when talked through to their natural conclusion.
And I wonder how many of those people, given the power of life and death over everyone around them - the power to take their ideas to their natural conclusions - would also immediately reveal how their lack of self-reflection has laid the groundwork for them to become monsters.
#original#ableism#ableism cw#eugenics#nazis cw#death note#Death Note the musical#light yagami#death note musical#there's not really such a thing as casual ableism. because it all feeds into the same evil machine at the end of the day#because ableism done with hate and ableism done with love and ignorance have the same exact effects#there's no such thing as casual racism either. even if other white people would like to think that#so they don't have to actually call out people around them for holding heinous beliefs or doing horrible things#white culture#is basically the group agreement that we are /simply not going to talk about what we've done/#and we most /certainly/ are not going to talk about what we are currently doing. even bringing it up is considered rude.#it's bad is what I'm saying it's a bad culture and I don't think the world would lose anything without it#maybe then our churches won't feel like places God has abandoned. I'm an atheist. but I remember what white Mass felt like.#frankly I might not have become an atheist if when we sang stuff like ode to joy in church it wasn't the most joyless sound ever#our words flew up. our thoughts remained below. songs without thought never to heaven go. <3#man I gotta make some excellent art about that so I can stop talking about so much. but heavy excellent art takes time! so it'll be a while#nice is different than good#niceness can sometimes be incredibly unkind. it's nice to be agreeable. but in the face of injustice this becomes a cruelty.#back to watching the musical. LOVE how Light convinces himself his actions come from a place of love 💘#'we just have to kill all the bad guys!' taken to its brutal and horrifying conclusion#and the way so many people are FANS of Kira is so brilliant. i wonder if this musical's ending is better written than the [÷>%>#*than the original#edit: it totally is. the musical fucking rules.
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not me rewatching paci.fic rim and once again wondering which muses would be drift compatible with their s/o
#it is nearly 1 in the morning#but i am off tomorrow with no expectations soo#i gotta get back around to being on here more#i lurk every day but i never do anything and i wanna do stuff so maybe ill post#like an inbox call or something#but fr fr#best ship question tbh like#which ships are drift compatible? Who would willingly connect with their#partner on an intimately mental level and allow them to see every memory and feel every emotion#hear every thought#so good#perfect#love it#Naoe for sure with naotora#kanda with alma is a 100 percent
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okay, so, I've collected a bunch of DP fandom stuff that I remember off the top of my head, specifically in chronological order & colour coded here in this post (fics/comics, tumblr posts, important imo) for no reason other than I saw a post asking for Phandom history & it triggered my biggest, most long-running hyperfixation & now I'm curious if anyone else remembers stuff.
this link is going to be the permanent version I will be updating, but I'm posting what I currently have (gonna go through my old laptop later for more) just to let people know. you can also find the link on my blog, but only on desktop. It isn't colour coded there, sorry.
please share more if you got anything else cuz I'm 100% sure I'm missing a lot of stuff & am too interested now. the biggest reason a lot of stuff isn't here is that I simply can't find it. second biggest reason is i forgor. things not included here aren't "unimportant," this is just the first stuff that comes to mind.
putting it under a cut 'cause it got kinda long
Mars by JadeRabbyt (2005)
Checkmate by pearl84 (2006)
Conversations of a Ghost Gabber by Cordria (2006)
The Foley Maneuver by bluemoonalto (2007)
One Thousand Years by Nylah (2008)
Lab Rat by AnneriaWings (2009)
Lost by Cordria (2010?) [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]
Phantom of Truth by Haiju (2011)
Ghost Deaths (2012)
Through Coals and Rain by Kakawot (2012)
Shadow of a Doubt by Haiju (2013)
Pink Pants (2013?)
Wes (2014) [original] [1] [2] [3] [4]
this "I'm Inevitable" gif (2014)
Space AU (2014)
Treading Water by The Full Catastrophe (2014)
Danny, you dead IDIOT!! comic (2014)
wash away the darkest days by anthrop (2014)
Reverse Trio (2014)
Inverse Trio (2014-2016) ALT
Halfas are "feral children" (2015)
Burn the Streets, Burn the Cars by anthrop (2015)
It's Not Gay if He's Dead by phantomrose96 (2015)
You Smell Like Death by starfleetrambo (2015)
Ghost Bird AU by @rest-in-peachs (2016?)
Things I Can(not) Do In Amity Park by RedHeadsRock1010 (2016)
KEtTLE by Cordria (2016)
Deeper, Darker by Silvermoonphantom (2016)
Danny Phantom Punches Butch Hartman In The Face by MistressVintage (2017)
Dannypocalypse (2017)
Ghost Train (2017?)
Ghost Physics by jayrockin (2017)
Ghost Infographics (2018)
The Taxonomy of Ghost Cores: An Observational Study (2018) Communicating with Ghosts Professionally: A Study (2018)
Species in Danny Phantom (2018?)
Diddles Piddles by diddly-darn-ghost (2018)
Broken Ectoplasm by ghostanimal (2019)
Ghost of Heroes by Enigmaris & ScarletNightFury (2019-2020)
do not stand at my grave and cry (i am not there, i did not die) by blueh (2020)
Undercover Phantom by artistfingers (2021)
Corruption is a Two Way Street by datawyrms (2021)
Things That Bleed by artistfingers, kkachis, & Perfectly_Inconspicuous (2022)
10,000 works on AO3 (2022)
Ghost Speak:
Danny's handwriting (2015?)
Cordria (2015)
Fiver-Rivers [1] [2] [3] (2019)
Rubber Chicken Sounds (2019)
#Danny Phantom#Phandom History Archive#do you even understand how hard it was to find the original Wes post????????#i spent like 2 hours on that alone#Wes Weston why are you so hard to find#just realizing that a lot of shit happened in 2014#like. 2014/2015 ish#i joined somewhere between 2014 & 2016 so i guess i literally came here right at the peak of phandom activity#the height of tumblr's paranormal activity. you might say#i think i'm just biased though#should i put my own fics on here. Phantom is pretty important to me being my first DP fic#& also the thing that got me back into writing#it's not very good but by god if i dont love it. & anyways i put Bird AU on here lol i think i can put Phantom up at some point. as a treat#also if any links are broken tell me cuz i'm not checking them again. it's 4am#reminder: gotta find those Bird AU fics i read & put em here. there ARE actual Bird AU fics. i know there are. i did not hallucinate that#it just might be the hardest thing on earth to do since that was years ago & i have no idea what they were called#anyway gonna add a fuckton of fics & (hopefully) tumblr posts when i go through my old laptop. i got everything bookmarked on there#like. so many fics. i had them organized too based on what kind of fic it was. but they all have stupid names cuz i was like 15#me: i should do my stencil art today. just to be a bit productive & also maybe make money#my brain: what if you organized Danny Phantom fandom posts into a big archive for people to look at? for free. until 4am.#me: you know what that sounds so much better let's do that
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i'm about to run off to class but i've been going positively apeshit about shakespeare for the last three hours so like: what shakespeare play would y'all most associate your muses with?? in terms of story themes, related aesthetics, character arcs/tropes, etc?? or see if i can assign them one that fits if you'd like, idk, i'm vibing
#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS.#putting shakespeare muses on my ''hellblazer & constantine characters only'' multi? it's more likely than you think#i've already got a character from ER waiting in the wings who do i think i'm kidding#ANYWAY instincts say that constantine is aligned with macbeth bc Spooky but hear me out: Hamlet#never sure if the descent into madness is real or an act. sending your friends off to get killed. called in to solve a problem for a ghost#mourning the father. the abandonment of the love interest. natural imagery symbolism with snakes and flowers and water#accidentally making things worse when you're trying desperately to make things better#self-destruction layered over and over and over itself in a thousand forms both intentional and unintentional. guilt and grief#wee bit of goofing and gaffing thrown into the mix for good measure. main character needs a fucking cigarette#like BRUH. do we see the VISION#this is totally optional ofc i'm having brainworms about literature#SHIT that reminds me i gotta go back and do that song post too!!! i've had that tab open for like a month#but that's a problem for a later me. away to class i go
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Gettin back to editing with a match that's close to my heart Been stepping things up and last season showed some promising results!
#nocturne shenanigans#splatoon#splatoon 3#I don't ramble on twitter very much when I post these things but LORDY#It may look simple but making these is a lot more complicated than it looks#each message is personal I have to dig for it#I watch every match I post repeatedly to make sure it's something I feel is actually worth showin off#I spend a good few hours AT LEAST goin over which songs to use#and I don't slap just any old songs each one is special to me in some way#or one that I really REALLY like#and I gotta make sure it's timed right too#if not then I gotta find an alternative or extended it myself which is a whole other can of worms#and slappin it all together takes a bit of work too#THIS ONE BUGGED OUT AND CRASHED MY POOR PC 3 TIMES#so being an editor calls for being a bit of a tech head too#but I still love what I do even with all this on my back#Youtube
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Randomly remembered the half-reason i call my oc-verse by the name it has while laying in bed. One-half of the reason i still knew, but I had forgotten what had truly, really cemented it jointly until now
(it was a song from my favourite band I haven't listened to in a while.)
(the song fit so well at the time, still does, that i needed to hold onto it for the main protagonists forever, by partially naming their story in reference.)
Does this explanation make any sense? Does anyone know why I'm tearing up remembering this. Aahh
#(I'm emotional because I've been feeling bad about it all lately. enjoying things I make I mean—art or ocs or frivilous things.)#(So remembering that song and when it came out. That I couldn't see them in person. But i held onto it my own way. As something I loved)#(Something I still do love a lot... Parts of me saying no—you don't hate it. No. I'll help you remember more. I'm a little misty about it.)#The song is just The Killers - Run For Cover. I couldn't see them in person all those years ago—family went without me.#All my new oc rework with Zin and Hunter and Caia were like a year old or so.#It's a little silly. But the character Zin's derived from was a lightning mage so I stuck to it—I like monhun's zinogre for what its worth#So there's recurring theme and imagery. Thunder's not lightning but the sound and the feeling after the flash the flame and strike.#There's that meaningful thought—the story is the aftermath of a big tragedy. It matches what I like in monsters and other chars.#And at that time—my favourite band I missed out on puts out a really good song I download everywhere and it goes like:#He motioned me to the sky/ I heard heaven and thunder cry/ Run for cover/ Run while you can baby don't look back/ You gotta run for cover#And it goes on of course. The rest of the song's still really good. There's more that fits but point is; More evocative imagery.#So there. Why my bundle of OCs—Zinadia Hunter and Caia's story—is called Thunder 20XX. minus the 20XX. That's tongue-in-cheek#About some day I'll manage to make something tangeable or broadly shareable with them. I guarentee this century!#Thunder... oh my darling Thunder. Eight years man. More than that if I really want to count pre-rework INTO the complete original work. but#I like that it's definably 8. I like that I remembered I've always loved them a lot. Always been my thing to lean on even by name...#I need to get to sleep. Ive gotten a little more emotional over one song than I'd rather regularly be. Give it a listen maybe? Goodnight#Armour clanking#I need an oc tag#What have you gathered to report to your progenitors?🎶Are your excuses any better than your senator's🎶He held a conference#and his wife was standing by his side🎶He did her dirty but no-one died🎶#I saw Sonny Liston on the street last-night black-fisted and strong singing🎶Redemption song🎶#He motioned me to the sky🎶I heard heaven and thunder cry🎶RUN FOR COVER#What are you waiting for—a kiss or an apology?🎶You think by now you'd have an A in toxicology🎶#It's hard to pack the car when all you do is shame us🎶Even harder when the dirtbag's famous🎶#I saw my mother on the street last night all pretty and strong singin🎶The road is long🎶#I said 'Mama I know you tried!'🎶But she fell on her knees and cried🎶RUN FOR COVER#Just run for cover - you've got nothin left to lose...
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i kinda want to 2 do a mountain dew base because i like mountain dew and also see it as a fairly neutral base. like u can put most flavors in it and have it turn out okay. but u cant put blue raspberry in pepsi/coca cola without that sounding weird ? i would say it's bad but i've never tried it idk it might be fine. but like. versatile
#i dont really like sprite too much#its okay but like ?#lemon lime is just.#interesting ?#idk im not 2 big on it#might just be the mixture at my work too tbh#i keep typing our and like. that is not correct.#im kinda leaning towards blackberry idk i've never tried it i wanna see if it's good but like ? would he like blackberries? idk#at least with casper i had some sort of taste profile#gotta figure it out with my guy pancho#tryin to avoid being mean with his drink thats not fun#i can choose love and kindness#there's a drink called the endless summer#which is almost eternal summer#which could be pancho#so i might modify that to start ?#whats even in that#obh huh. weird drink#i need to put ddown thoughts uhm#i think maybe ?? he seems like a puree and cream guy (i'm a cream and puree guy)#mountain dew im just bullshitting i need it to be smth im willing to drink#like caspers . thats a stretch for me to be able to drink sometimes but it's good enough that it gets me through my shfit#he does seem like hed come up with some weird combo though#pancho would BULLSHIT a drink mayeb im thinking too hard about it#i need to get back in his head#maybe ill bullshit smth tmr and that can be my pancho drink if i like it#he seems like an energy drink guy soemtimes but thats gross i dont like energy drinks i cant drink that#my tags got so out of hand they got cut off. oops.#anthonys tumblr adventure
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I finally just did the scary phone call I’ve been putting off for weeks and practically months now, someone tell me how good I am 🥺
#it wasn’t that scary tbh but they’d called me about it so many times and I never answered back and I felt like they were mad at me 😭😭#and I was embarrassed that it took me so long. gotta love adhd shame.#but i was a good girl and I did it and the lady was very nice ☺️#sunnyposting
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#so there's this girl#and there's this conversation I had where I told Prettyboy about a coworker whose version of polyamory is#'she says she needs me back in Washington but I don't have a job there. I keep telling her to get another boyfriend while I'm out of town#just make sure he's not around when I visit so I don't have to fight anybody'#That tickled me. And the conversation ended with me getting like a third of a hall pass. I gotta call if anything happens.#Call so Prettyboy feels like he's part of my romantic life even when the romance isn't him#Which is the opposite track of the one I was giggling about okay yeah#But like my best friend here is. Super pretty. Ridiculously pretty.#And kind and works hard and takes care of the people she loves. She's always finding ways to help me.#And she's vegan and loves my cooking and that's my love language okay#I wanna make sure she eats I wanna see what happens if she's given full reigns on dominance I want I yearn#And we talk for hours about nothing but it's been weeks since I've been like one third available and I dunno how to tell her#Or if I should or if I'd be just another person in her life who wants her for what she can do for them#I think my intentions are good but it's lonely. The long distance and the seasonal work and the isolated town up in the mountains.#And maybe I just want to be held.#I know she's grey ace and a lot of the romantic relationships she's had in the past were very manipulative and not what she really wanted#Maybe that's what's pulling me in so hard like am I just insecure and want to prove myself yet again#I've always been drawn to flaky people#I wanna be the one person they show up for#This is the thing that I actually need to process in therapy and can't just lsd the anxiety away#Though that worked for most things#Take hallucinagens. Once.#I'm such a hugger but only worked up the courage to hug her a few days ago.#We've been talking (lowercase t) for months.#And I know she has her own long distance unicorn relationship back in Kentucky. I'm hoping the subject will just surface again.#And then I can say hey#I think you're really pretty
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