#if not then I gotta find an alternative or extended it myself which is a whole other can of worms

[deepsixsquid]

Gettin back to editing with a match that's close to my heart Been stepping things up and last season showed some promising results!

[tea-of-destiny]

hi friend I meant to send you this ask a couple days ago I think but. I know it isn't really (twewy) canon, but I'd like to hear about the TWEWY characters in KH3D, if you'd tell me about it? I don't have any intention of playing KH myself, I don't think it's my kind of video game in general, but I'm still fairly curious 👀

ajlksjdfhalsjkd I think this is normally a question where I'd go back to the source material to confirm what I'm saying, but this has been sitting in my inbox too long so I'm just going to write off the cuff and pray something worthwhile comes out

Um, as a whole they're pretty fun! Maybe not totally accurate to the canon of their own game, but they're presented in a way that makes you (or at least me) want to check out TWEWY to find out what their story is. I am so determined to play TWEWY for real eventually, but I don't know how soon that will happen since there's... so much else I want to do aha.

Neku's personality is more that of his first week in the Reaper's Game--he's still kind of standoffish and self-centered, which makes him a stark contrast to a protagonist like Sora, but Neku is already in the process of learning how to trust and befriend other people. He evidently cares about Shiki a lot. I don't remember if he's shown to have much attachment to Joshua or Beat yet in KH canon.

Shiki is a part of one of my favorite interactions in the series; it's actually where the quote in my header image comes from! Riku defends Shiki from a swarm of Dream Eaters, and then he's ready to just run off again to finish his mission, but Shiki says something to the effect of "Hey, you can't chat a girl up and then just ditch her! Aren't you supposed to be my knight in shining armor?" To which Riku kind of panics and says, "Knight? You've got the wrong idea!" aro king So they make for an entertaining pair of companions.

I love Beat. He and Rhyme have a great sibling dynamic. Beat makes some rash decisions that put people in harm's way, but he really means well and has a big heart. There's another scene where Beat's acting tough to Riku like, "We don't need your help!" But Rhyme pipes up like, "Really? 'Cause not five minutes ago, you were whining, 'Where's Riku? We gotta find Riku!'" And Beat gets really flustered like, "Gwaah! Don't say that in front of him!"

All I can really say about Joshua is that he's not enough of a bastard in KH canon lmaooo I need him to shoot the ancient embodiment of Darkness or something

One other thing I'll mention is that as of the Kingdom Hearts 4 trailer, Sora has gone to an alternate reality, and he wakes up in a city resembling Tokyo. There's been speculation that he's specifically in the TWEWY version of Shibuya and we'll see Sora reunite with the cast. Some fans are really excited by the possibility of extended TWEWY lore; others don't want it to be the case because they worry that TWEWY will get subsumed into KH instead of standing as its own thing. I'm not sure how I personally feel, except that I really hope whichever path the developers take, they spend the necessary time to make the game compelling and enjoyable.

I hope this kind of answers your question, even if it's been a while? And thanks for asking!

[alientitty]

its nearly midnight (now past midnight as i finish the post) and here are my tips on doing laundry:

you can take it or leave it (i’m just some guy) but i have been doing it myself or with my mom for the better part of 15 years and realize there’s people my age or younger who struggle having to do it themselves

it depends on your washer, but most items that say “hand wash only” will usually be fine on gentle cycle in a lingerie bag (or pillowcase). similarly, most “line dry” or “dry flat” items will survive just fine on a hanger. but if you have a lot of fragile things it may be a good idea to invest in a drying rack

separating it out by color: well if you gotta do two loads you might as well. but most modern laundry detergents don’t usually bleed the dyes so it’s really not necessary. the exceptions are: first wash on a garment with color bleed warnings, and sometimes you will get that one pair of jeans that really does bleed all over the shout every damn time.

dry clean only is a pain in the ass, but you can ruin and shrink garments that react badly to water. running it on air dry with some sheet might smell nice but it won’t remove the oils from your skin. that being said you can cheat it a little--some synthetics like rayon and acrylic can get wet and still retain shape, especially if in a blend (viscose is also rayon, and only the softest, most delicate and expensive weaves are actually “faux silk” that is too weak to support itself when wet). if it’s 100% silk or wool, though, get that shit cleaned properly.

which brings me to...care instructions! read them! you can greatly extend the life of fast fashion items, for example, by keeping them out of the dryer and running them on gentle cycle. the biggest factors in wearing out your clothes (besides actually wearing them) are the spin cycle and the DRYER (especially heat, but also getting tossed around with other clothes).

similarly, read the fabrics! knowing what your clothes are made of helps you know which directions you can ignore to make your life easier. 100% cotton really can shrink, but synthetics like nylon and polyester are basically plastics and there is a risk of melting if they’re not rated safe for dryers. rayon is basically wood pulp and is more brittle than cotton or linen when wet, but if it’s not particularly fine, and especially if it’s mixed with other materials, it can often support itself enough to dry nicely. search engines are your friend if you’re not sure what a fabric can take

you can also extend the life and color of many items by washing them inside out--some say so on instructions! for everyday use i haven’t had a problem with gentle cycle (the main downside is that a less violent spin cycle means they’re more damp coming out of the machine) and low heat for dryer pretty much everything. but anything that can go in a dryer can also be hung up. just make sure to straighten it out a little so it doesn’t air dry into funky shapes.

other tips for extending life: wash everything cold unless you’re doing something special

if you’ve got enough to justify it, do towels and sheets separately. they can handle the rougher spin, hot water and high dryer heat without shrinking

don’t put your bras in the dryer..they already get rough treatment and are so expensive. in fact, get a lingerie bag for them and other gentle items (i promise you can find one at the 99 cent store if need be, so price is not an excuse!)

ironing--i pretty much never do this, but... when you do need to, err on the side of caution with lower heat and plenty of steam (if called for)--oh, and have your clothes inside-out! (with only one layer of fabric between the iron and the board.) follow the tags as this is another case where you risk damaging the garment by going in too hot. you’ll probably have to go slower than you like, and sometimes you do need to hold the iron on an area for it to conform, just keep it to only a couple seconds and go in multiple times to avoid burning (i think? once again this is tedious and i hate it). to make sure your clothes are flat, look  at the seams and try to make out the different pieces of fabric, laying out each section as flat as you can and ironing just that area. that narrow end of the ironing board is designed for sleeves and anything else that’s more tube than square.

stains: will go away best when fresh. turn the garment inside out, run under cold water, and rub it out with dish or hand soap.

old stains: while hot water can set new stains, it will drag old ones out of the fabric (still work inside out to “raise the stain”). these are a bit more work to get. you can scrub with baking soda & water paste, diluted lemon juice/vinegar, or watered down dish soap, and alternate between soaking it, scrubbing vigorously, rinsing and repeating. (you may want to test the cleaning agent another part of the fabric if you’re worried about discoloration)

my personal low-effort favorite that seems to be working, though, is to soak it in diluted dish soap (or just slather with dish soap and hope it’s still effective if you’re me) and let it fuck off for 3 hours to 3 days before laundry day. rinse out most of the soap before throwing it in the machine so those mega-suds don’t kill your washer.

for tough stains they may have to go through multiple treatments and washes. i usually just have some clothes on standby to be treated and thrown in with regular laundry, though if you have a lot of stained items you can d a whole load of just them in hot water (and alternate with treating until the stains go away) (wayy to much work for me though)

for the love of god, DON’T PUT ANYTHING STAINED IN THE DRYER if you want it to wash out. it’s not impossible to get out all set stains (i’ve done it), but it’s a bitch and a half to do. some garments may truly be beyond rescue

i have never used bleach on a garment in my life. some garments can handle it (often no chlorine) but as far as i’m concerned that shit’s just for killing bacteria

the dreaded folding--well it depends on your personality but here’s what helps me:

put your freshly dried clothes in a basket (mine was 3 bucks at walmart--once again, no excuse, do this. it will be good for you.). and preferably put it down near a surface you’ll use for folding. (a bed or couch works just as well as a countertop)

my strategy is to get it done right away. the moment it’s out of the dryer, we don’t sit down until everything’s all set for folding. and then we sit where we fold

similarly, it helps to do it in the same place every time so it becomes a habit. i always fold mine while watching tv.

reward yourself and relax for a minute after you’re done. you’ve completed a big task!

[adultswim2021]

Space Ghost Coast to Coast #85: “In Memory of Elizabeth Reed” | December 7, 2003 - 11:30 PM | S08E04

Happy 20th anniversary, Adult Swim. And, boy, what a momentous episode of Ghost do we have here to celebrate. There are a number of episodes where the guest is an event unto itself and this is truly one of them. Frequent punchline William Shatner is an absolute cunt... and a proper legend. His cuntiness and legendary status are two things that seem to be at odds with one another, and the Space Ghost crew have managed to come up with an artfully idiosyncratic episode to match Shatner’s weird-guy-ness. It’s a classic for sure, and important. But (making a “smug dipshit” face) is it funny?

YES! It’s FUNNY! I will admit though, the first time I saw this episode I didn’t quite know what to make of it. This is partially because I’m very much a Star Trek agnostic. I’ve never been into Star Trek. In the last few years I’ve watched most of the pre-Next Gen motion pictures for inane list-making reasons, and I enjoyed them to varying degrees, but Star Trek is truly not for me. I’m more of a... well, I’m not a Star Wars guy either. What’s the other one? Uh... Spaceballs. That’s it. I’m more of a Spaceballs guy.

But I feel like I’ve absorbed a lot of Star Trek lore through cultural osmosis. I vaguely understand that William Shatner has had some deliberately-paced choreographed fight scene on those rocks from Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey. When I hear music similar to the the music that Jim Carrey hums in The Cable Guy, I’m pretty sure whatever it is I’m watching is doing a Star Trek thing. And yes, I’ve watched every single Red Letter Media “Mike and Rich talk about Star Trek for 4 hours” video. But even today, after having picked up more Star Trek knowledge on my journey to the grave, I still have this nagging feeling of “I only sort of get this”.

Still, this episode has a handful of screamingly funny lines, and the episode ends wonderfully, with Space Ghost in his death throes, suffering the ultimate indignity of dying in front of William Shatner. There’s also the part where Zorak asks why everyone in Star Trek is black, and a part where Moltar nervously reads from his fan fiction (from a book labeled TARD WARS, hahaha). Shatner, who has a reputation for being arrogant and difficult, is as good a sport as one could hope. The show makes good use of his hammier moments, and only shits on him slightly in the process. The most notable moment is when Shatner says to Zorak “didn't you and I fight to the death?” to which Zorak replies “That sounds pretty dumb, man”. I’ve actually quoted this line many times. It’s one of the best.

Also, for those of you who like to track these things: the show features callbacks to other episodes and shows; the handimen at Zorak’s apartment are clearly extras from Sealab 2020/2021, one of the Leprechauns from Aqua Teen Hunger Force shows up, and there’s a poignant callback to classic Space Ghost episode “Banjo”. 

The title motif of this season is naming the episodes after Allman Brothers songs, and I always wondered about this one. Maybe I’m reaching, and it’s probably too disrespectful to be true, but I always thought that it was somehow a veiled reference to Shatner’s wife, whom he supposedly killed or let die. It’s simply too dark to be true, but it’s the first thought that immediately jumped to my mind when I first heard the title of this episode. Am I stupid for thinking this? Am I stupid because it OBVIOUSLY is a reference to that?? I simply do not know. I would like to know.

MAIL BAG

The big anniversary is upon us. What are your 20 favorite things about adult swim for 20 years going. Don't sleep on this question!

I gotta do SOMETHING special, so I might as well do this. More thought could have gone into this, but I spent about an hour trying to come up with episodes or moments from 20 different shows and putting them in rough chronological order. I limited myself to one episode/scene/moment/joke/whatever per show so it’s not all Space Ghost jokes. So, here we go:

Sealab 2021: “I, Robot”. Adult Swim proved it could be brilliant right out of the gate with the stealth premiere of “I, Robot”, but for Sealab it’s all downhill from here. (2000)

Space Ghost Coast to Coast: Space Ghost stops in his tracks to reminisce about the time Bobcat Goldthwait said "crack a window". The entire episode “Kentucky Nightmare” is brilliant, but this moment in particular so uniquely captures my sense of humor that it’s inexplicable. The dumb look on Space Ghost’s face when he stops in his tracks. Goddamn. (2001)

Aqua Teen Hunger Force: “Mayhem of the Mooninites” I tried very hard to make this all be individual jokes or scenes or whatever, but this is another episode where the entire thing is just line after line and I can’t really pick. This, “I Robot”, and “Kentucky Nightmare” is like a perfect trio illustrating how good Adult Swim really was right out of the gate. (2001)

Home Movies: Jason casually reveals that his parents have no idea who Brendon and Melissa are and that he spends most of his free-time making movies with them. This is the episode “Storm Warning” which is overall one of the best episodes of Home Movies, but this scene is probably my favorite. Illustrates how simple and hilarious the comedy is on this show. (2002)

Tom Goes to the Mayor: the end scene in “Undercover”, where they’ve shoddily reversed Tom’s various unnecessary surgeries and called him “Taumpy Tears” to boot. Positively sublime. (2006)

Metalocalypse: Dr. Rockso’s music video. From the episode “Dethclown”. I was never in love with this show as much as the true fans were, but there were a handful of incredible episodes. This episode basically tells one joke over and over and it’s very funny. It really ends with a bang showcasing Dr. Rockso’s shitty music video that celebrates cocaine use. His singing voice is hilarious. (2006)

Assy McGee: I am the only person in the world that defends Assy McGee as being “actually pretty good” and it’s all entirely due to this one line: Assy McGee (a pair of naked buttocks with legs, whose ass functions as his head) is forced to attend a black tie event and is just milling around wearing nothing but a black bow tie. Through clenched anus he delivers the line “I can barely breathe in this penguin suit”. The whole show is worth it for that joke. I don’t even know what episode it is except that it’s from one of the first few. I might not even have the line exactly right. But, I remember laughing so hard. I may not have laughed at Assy McGee again. (2006)

Saul of the Mole Men: The opening theme song. And nothing else. (2007)

Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!: Jim and Derrick. I should pick something more user-friendly maybe, since this episode almost entirely relies on being familiar with Tim & Eric’s previous episodes. But goddamn, this episode is such a funny concept (which is basically Tim & Eric doing an alternate MTV-ified version of Awesome Show) (2008)

Moral Orel: “Numb”. When Moral Orel suddenly stopped being a quirky Adult Swim comedy and suddenly started doing episodes that resembled art films. This episode is a fucking masterpiece. I remember sobbing the first time I saw it. There are a few in season 3 that are like that, but this one is my favorite. (2008)

Check it Out! with Dr. Steve Brule: Terry Bruge-Hiplo reviews “Dumpster’s Children”. Another bit of comedy that I’d describe as “inexplicable” and “sublime”, and it all hinges on an old man’s mouth. Holy fuck. I don’t think I’ve laughed harder than this at a TV show since. (2010)

Delocated: The ending of “Mole”, an extended Face/Off riff where Jon goes undercover as the scary mobster Sergei. In the final moments of the episode he marries a woman, fathers multiple children with her, and only then is pulled out of the mission. The episode is a tour-de-force of comic acting by Steve Cirbus, who is graciously allowed to shine for most of the episode. But man, that ending is fucking wonderful. (2010)

Venture Bros.: The ending of “Operation P.R.O.M.” a flurry of emotions hit me when “Like a Friend” by Pulp starts playing. The scene is so well done and weirdly touching. Brock realizes that deep down he gives a shit about the Venture family and is genuinely terrified something might happen to them. And then he gets to slaughter a bunch of Zorak monsters, which is also weirdly sweet. It’s even touching on a meta-level knowing that Jackson and Doc tried many times and failed to include licensed music in the show. I love Venture Bros, but I think we’d all be better off if this were the series finale. Sorry. I had to say it. (2010)

The Heart She Holler: The first scene with Patton being taught the way of the world posthumously by his father on a VHS tape. The first season of this show is amazing, but that scene, especially where Patton does a little Japanese bow and says “oh, hot dog!” is just hysterical. Literally every time a hot dog comes up in conversation my wife and I quote it. Please, do not scorn her, it’s not racist when SHE does it. (2011)

Eagleheart: The All That Jazz inspired finale. “Paradise Rising” is mostly a masterpiece, and how it ends is so fucking incredible. Easily the most under-rated show on Adult Swim and I’m not just saying that because... you know (mimes dick-sucking) (2014)

Rick and Morty: I watched the first two episodes of Rick and Morty, thought it was good, but for some reason didn’t become a devotee until my wife made me watch the Mr. Poopybutthole episode. It’s still my favorite episode, I think. (2015)

Brett Gelman’s Dinner in America: The “Dinner with” specials are all really good, but goddamn, this one hits. Should be shown in schools. I am going to go to every grade school in my county with an AR-15 (to get past the guards, of course) and I won’t leave until they call an assembly and they let me fumble around trying to find it on vimeo and play it for the students. (2016)

The Eric Andre Show: Eric interviews Steve Schirripa. The bit where he has an intern dip his balls in Steve’s spaghetti sauce is hilarious, naturally, but I’m here to showcase the running gag where every time Steve complains how hot the studio is, Eric just wordlessly hands him an ice cube until Steve explodes. It’s one of the most childishly hilarious things I’ve ever seen. It’s perfect. (2016)

Million Dollar Extreme Presents: World Peace: The Pick-Up artist sketch. I’m mostly unimpressed with MDE, and all but a few Sam Hyde bits leave me cold. But this sketch is a crowning achievement. I mean, I think these guys suck politically and are more mean than funny, but their sensibilities yielded one really incredible piece of comedy. Okay, I laughed at the blackface sketch too. There. You dragged it out of me. (2016) Joe Pera Talks With You: This show is beautiful and I love every episode. But the episode “Joe Pera Reads You The Church Announcements” Wherein Joe discovers a new-to-him song and can’t stop listening to it, is one of the most joyous episodes of television I’ve ever seen. A gateway episode. I tell everyone to please watch this one first. (2018)

[junk-jester]

The Sigmatrix

I’m feeling a bit creatively drained at the moment, so, taking inspiration from this post by @jennifer-10nyson​, here’s my own version of the Omnitrix.

History

My name is AJ. My Omnitrix, locally known as the Sigmatrix, was created by my universe’s Azmuth, similar to Ben Prime. When I was 9 years old, I lived out deep within the Rocky Mountains of Canada, where my father operated at a local military base. Out of nowhere, one fateful day, a gunner at the base had shot down a passing by UFO, and it crashed right in my home’s front lawn! My father and I went to investigate, and an injured Azmuth exited the vehicle, his life in serious peril. My father and I attended to his wounds and helped repair his ship over the course of the next several weeks, no doubt thanks to some strange technology he had onboard. When all was said and done, and as thanks for helping repair his ship and heal his wounds, he bestowed upon the both of us a small, red box. I opened it and a gold and brown watch that felt like smooth felt jumped up onto my wrist! Now, by using this strange device that I still don’t know all that much about, I can transform into a number of different alien species from across the Multiverse and protect those who cannot protect themselves! Those who are wicked by choice, beware!

Main Function

The primary use of the Sigmatrix is to hold the genetic code of a variety of different alien life forms from thousands of different planets, galaxies and beyond, with most being from the Milky Way. However, I only started out with seven! Those seven being the following:

Meltdown (Mustarite)

Beatbox (Hyper-Evolved Sonorosian)

Huntdown (Yautja)

Hardware (Galvanic Mechamorph)

Airborne (Lepidosaurian)

Hexagon (Vreedle)

Overcharge (Conductoid)

Other functions

Master Control: While I currently don’t have it unlocked, the Master Control would allow me to transform into any alien with just a thought and allow me to remain alien for as long as I desire.

DNA Modifying: The Sigmatrix is capable of modifying the DNA of any selected transformation (as well as myself) to a limited degree in order to repair wounds, expand muscles to make my aliens (or myself) stronger, and more. 

Quick Change: While in alien form, I can choose to switch to a different alien without reverting back to human before hand. However, this does drain the “battery” faster.

Life Lock: If I so choose, I can remain in a specific alien form for an extended period of time without timing out. However, the longer I remain in said form, the longer it takes for the Sigmatrix to recharge once I revert back to human form.

Artificial Intelligence: The Sigmatrix is home to an A.I. Program known as Sigma, who manages a majority of the Sigmatrix’s other functions and acts as a moral conscience, giving me advice when in times of need. Sometimes, she even goes so far as to act like the mom I never had growing up...

Universal Translator: The Sigmatrix is able to translate any language within the galaxy to English in both a speech and text format, with the exception of Xa’tese, the native tongue of the Yautja species. I end up circumventing this by just transforming into Huntdown, anyway.

2-Way Communicator: The Sigmatrix can connect to any wireless communication device (be it a Plumber’s badge, cell phone, or computer) and communicate through said device. This basically allows the Sigmatrix to gain access to the Internet whenever I need it!

Voice Command: The Sigmatrix can act and engage or disengage any of the other features mentioned here according to various verbal commands given to it, with the exception of Master Control. Only Azmuth can access that one.

Anti-Removal Failsafe: The Sigmatrix is bonded to my DNA on a genetic level, meaning it is extremely difficult to remove and downright painful if done so by force. Any attempt to force the device off my wrist will result in an omnidirectional energy pulse that can knock away people with enough force to turn a brick wall into dust! Thank god this thing’s water-proof...

Anti-Death Failsafe: If I was placed in a position that would result in my death, the Sigmatrix will quickly cycle through my available aliens and attempt to transform me into something that will protect me from whatever threat I’m dealing with. However, if no aliens are available, it will forcefully unlock a brand new alien instead! This is how I managed to unlock my most powerful alien, a Celestialsapien named Prometheus. This is an imperfect failsafe, however, as it only works while I’m in human form.

Sigmatrix Modes

Orange-- Active

This mode means that all systems are operating normally and I’m ready to transform. It also allows me to activate and use the other functions mentioned above.

Glitched Purple-- Hacked

This one means that the Sigmatrix has been hacked and is under someone else’s control. To reverse this and get thins back to normal, I gotta hard-reboot it.

Brown-- Selection

This isn’t really a mode, but I figured I’d include it anyway. This one shows up when I’m getting ready to transform into a particular alien. For example, Overcharge.

Dark Red-- Time Out/Recharge

The roughly 17~ minute time limit for a transformation is up and I gotta wait out a recharge time, which is usually only about three minutes. This mode also engages if I manually revert back to normal.

Pink with Spots-- Mind Control

I’m being hypnotized and Sigma’s currently in the process of trying to shake me free. 

Teal-- T.S.T. (Trix Space Travel)

This one is... a bit on the strange side. From what I can tell, inside the Sigmatrix is this sort of simulated alternate dimension called the Trix Space, where all my aliens hang out and live life like normal people, patiently awaiting the next time I transform. They got all the normal needs, like entertainment, food, drinks and even their own form of government. Subsequently, this mode allows me to kinda-sorta project my consciousness into the Trix Space and interact with my aliens. When I’m inside, the Sigmatrix creates a barrier around my physical body that’s completely indestructible, just so no one tries to hurt me while I’m not home.

Grey and Red-- Self-Destruct

For this mode, the Sigmatrix recognizes that it’s been compromised and will destroy itself in order to prevent its technology from falling into the wrong hands, such as Vilgax or Malware. The detonation sequence can also be charged for various periods of time to either increase or decrease the blast radius and level of destruction, from only a few feet to almost the entire Universe!

Yellow w/ Question Mark-- Encyclopedia

Oh, I love this one! This mode acts like a hand-dandy guide to all things alien, such as culture, fashion, language and more, as I can’t really access the Internet when I’m not on Earth. I can always find just what I need through this one!

Yellow w/ Exclamation Point-- Message

This one is basically the Sigmatrix’s own form of texting. Lets me get in touch with friends real quick from just about anywhere, no matter how far away I am!

Dark Grey w/ Moon & Star-- Sleep Mode

What this one does is exactly what it says on the tin. Nap time!

Two shades of Grey w/ Clock-- Disguise

Also self-explanatory. This mode alters the Sigmatrix’s outer-shell to disguise it as just another ordinary wrist watch, just so people don’t get weired out. I can still transform like normal, though.

Green, Purple, Blue, Red and Orange-- Multiverse Communicator

This is basically the Message Mode, but way better! It allows me to get in touch with other Omnitrix Users from across the Multiverse, on the off chance I may need help in a fight or we just wanna hang out. Benzarro never returns my calls...

Black-- Shut Down

The whole thing is shut off and can’t be used until it’s turned back on. Perfect for getting under the hood and fixing the advanced tech when something goes wrong. Funny enough, I’ve managed to engage this mode while transformed into an alien before, and while I thought something terrible might’ve happened, nothing of the sort did. Score for me!

[qqueenofhades]

Could you expand a bit on the "death of expertise"? It's something I think about A LOT as an artist, because there are so many problems with people who think it isn't a real job, and the severe undercutting of prices that happens because people think hobbyists and professionals are the same. At the same time, I also really want people to feel free to be able to make art if they want, with no gatekeeping or elitism, and I usually spin myself in circles mentally thinking about it. So.

I have been secretly hoping someone would ask this question, nonny. Bless you. I have a lot (a LOT) of thoughts on this topic, which I will try to keep somewhat concise and presented in a semi-organized fashion, but yes.

I can mostly speak about this in regard to academia, especially the bad, bad, BAD takes in my field (history) that have dominated the news in recent weeks and which constitute most of the recent posts on my blog. (I know, I know, Old Man Yells At Cloud when attempting to educate the internet on actual history, but I gotta do SOMETHING.) But this isn’t a new phenemenon, and is linked to the avalanche of “fake news” that we’ve all heard about and experienced in the last few years, especially in the run-up and then after the election of You Know Who, who has made fake news his personal brand (if not in the way he thinks). It also has to do with the way Americans persistently misunderstand the concept of free speech as “I should be able to say whatever I want and nobody can correct or criticize me,” which ties into the poisonous extreme-libertarian ethos of “I can do what I want with no regard for others and nobody can correct me,” which has seeped its way into the American mainstream and is basically the center of the modern Republican party. (Basically: all for me, all the time, and caring about others is a weak liberal pussy thing to do.)

This, however, is not just an issue of partisan politics, because the left is just as guilty, even if its efforts take a different shape. One of the reason I got so utterly exasperated with strident online leftists, especially around primary season and the hardcore breed of Bernie Bros, is just that they don’t do anything except shout loud and incorrect information on the internet (and then transmogrify that into a twisted ideology of moral purity which makes a sin out of actually voting for a flawed candidate, even if the alternative is Donald Goddamn Trump). I can’t count how many people from both sides of the right/left divide get their political information from like-minded people on social media, and never bother to experience or verify or venture outside their comforting bubbles that will only provide them with “facts” that they already know. Social media has done a lot of good things, sure, but it’s also made it unprecedently easy to just say whatever insane bullshit you want, have it go viral, and then have you treated as an authority on the topic or someone whose voice “has to be included” out of some absurd principle of both-siderism. This is also a tenet of the mainstream corporate media: “both sides” have to be included, to create the illusion of “objectivity,” and to keep the largest number of paying subscribers happy. (Yes, of course this has deep, deep roots in the collapse of late-stage capitalism.) Even if one side is absolutely batshit crazy, the rules of this distorted social contract stipulate that their proposals and their flaws have to be treated as equal with the others, and if you point out that they are batshit crazy, you have to qualify with some criticism of the other side.

This is where you get white people posting “Neo-Nazis and Black Lives Matter are the same!!!1” on facebook. They are a) often racist, let’s be real, and b) have been force-fed a constant narrative where Both Sides Are Equally Bad. Even if one is a historical system of violent oppression that has made a good go at total racial and ethnic genocide and rests on hatred, and the other is the response to not just that but the centuries of systemic and small-scale racism that has been built up every day, the white people of the world insist on treating them as morally equivalent (related to a superior notion that Violence is Always Bad, which.... uh... have you even seen constant and overwhelming state-sponsored violence the West dishes out? But it’s only bad when the other side does it. Especially if those people can be at all labeled “fanatics.”)

I have complained many, many times, and will probably complain many times more, about how hard it is to deconstruct people’s absolutely ingrained ideas of history and the past. History is a very fragile thing; it’s really only equivalent to the length of a human lifespan, and sometimes not even that. It’s what people want to remember and what is convenient for them to remember, which is why we still have some living Holocaust survivors and yet a growing movement of Holocaust denial, among other extremist conspiracy theories (9/11, Sandy Hook, chemtrails, flat-earthing, etc etc). There is likewise no organized effort to teach honest history in Western public schools, not least since the West likes its self-appointed role as guardians of freedom and liberty and democracy in the world and doesn’t really want anyone digging into all that messy slavery and genocide and imperialism and colonialism business. As a result, you have deliberately under- or un-educated citizens, who have had a couple of courses on American/British/etc history in grade school focusing on the greatest-hit reel, and all from an overwhelmingly triumphalist white perspective. You have to like history, from what you get out of it in public school, to want to go on to study it as a career, while knowing that there are few jobs available, universities are cutting or shuttering humanities departments, and you’ll never make much money. There is... not a whole lot of outside incentive there.

I’ve written before about how the humanities are always the first targeted, and the first defunded, and the first to be labeled as “worthless degrees,” because a) they are less valuable to late-stage capitalism and its emphasis on Material Production, and b) they often focus on teaching students the critical thinking skills that critique and challenge that dominant system. There’s a reason that there is a stereotype of artists as social revolutionaries: they have often taken a look around, gone, “Hey, what the hell is this?” and tried to do something about it, because the creative and free-thinking impulse helps to cultivate the tools necessary to question what has become received and dominant wisdom. Of course, that can then be taken too far into the “I’ll create my own reality and reject absolutely everything that doesn’t fit that narrative,” and we end up at something like the current death of expertise.

This year is particularly fertile for these kinds of misinformation efforts: a plague without a vaccine or a known cure, an election year in a turbulently polarized country, race unrest in a deeply racist country spreading to other racist countries around the world and the challenging of a particularly important system (white supremacy), etc etc. People are scared and defensive and reactive, and in that case, they’re especially less motivated to challenge or want to encounter information that scares them. They need their pre-set beliefs to comfort them or provide steadiness in a rocky and uncertain world, and (thanks once again to social media) it’s easy to launch blistering ad hominem attacks on people who disagree with you, who are categorized as a faceless evil mass and who you will never have to meet or negotiate with in real life. This is the environment in which all the world’s distinguished scientists, who have spent decades studying infectious diseases, have to fight for airtime and authority (and often lose) over random conspiracy theorists who make a YouTube video. The public has been trained to see them as “both the same” and then accept which side they like the best, regardless of actual factual or real-world qualifications. They just assume the maniac on YouTube is just as trustworthy as the scientists with PhDs from real universities.

Obviously, academia is racist, elitist, classist, sexist, on and on. Most human institutions are. But training people to see all academics as the enemy is not the answer. You’ve seen the Online Left (tm) also do this constantly, where they attack “the establishment” for never talking about anything, or academics for supposedly erasing and covering up all of non-white history, while apparently never bothering to open a book or familiarize themselves with a single piece of research that actual historians are working on. You may have noticed that historians have been leading the charge against the “don’t erase history!!!1″ defenders of racist monuments, and explaining in stinging detail exactly why this is neither preserving history or being truthful about it. Tumblr likes to confuse the mechanism that has created the history and the people who are studying and analyzing that history, and lump them together as one mass of Evil And Lying To You. Academics are here because we want to critically examine the world and tell you things about it that our nonsense system has required years and years of effort, thousands of dollars in tuition, and other gatekeeping barriers to learn. You can just ask one of us. We’re here, we usually love to talk, and we’re a lot cheaper. I think that’s pretty cool.

As a historian, I have been trained in a certain skill set: finding, reading, analyzing, using, and criticizing primary sources, ditto for secondary sources, academic form and style, technical skills like languages, paleography, presentation, familiarity with the professional mechanisms for reviewing and sharing work (journals, conferences, peer review, etc), and how to assemble this all into an extended piece of work and to use it in conversation with other historians. That means my expertise in history outweighs some rando who rolls up with an unsourced or misleading Twitter thread. If a professor has been handed a carefully crafted essay and then a piece of paper scribbled with crayon, she is not obliged to treat them as essentially the same or having the same critical weight, even if the essay has flaws. One has made an effort to follow the rules of the game, and the other is... well, I did read a few like that when teaching undergraduates. They did not get the same grade.

This also means that my expertise is not universal. I might know something about adjacent subjects that I’ve also studied, like political science or English or whatever, but someone who is a career academic with a degree directly in that field will know more than me. I should listen to them, even if I should retain my independent ability and critical thinking skillset. And I definitely should not be listened to over people whose field of expertise is in a completely different realm. Take the recent rocket launch, for example. I’m guessing that nobody thought some bum who walked in off the street to Kennedy Space Center should be listened to in preference of the actual scientists with degrees and experience at NASA and knowledge of math and orbital mechanics and whatever else you need to get a rocket into orbit. I definitely can’t speak on that and I wouldn’t do it anyway, so it’s frustrating to see it happen with history. Everybody “knows” things about history that inevitably turn out to be wildly wrong, and seem to assume that they can do the same kind of job or state their conclusions with just as much authority. (Nobody seems to listen to the scientists on global warming or coronavirus either, because their information is actively inconvenient for our entrenched way of life and people don’t want to change.) Once again, my point here is not to be a snobbish elitist looking down at The Little People, but to remark that if there’s someone in a field who has, you know, actually studied that subject and is speaking from that place of authority, maybe we can do better than “well, I saw a YouTube video and liked it better, so there.” (Americans hate authority and don’t trust smart people, which  is a related problem and goes back far beyond Trump, but there you are.)

As for art: it’s funny how people devalue it constantly until they need it to survive. Ask anyone how they spent their time in lockdown. Did they listen to music? Did they watch movies or TV? Did they read a book? Did they look at photography or pictures? Did they try to learn a skill, like drawing or writing or painting, and realize it was hard? Did they have a preference for the art that was better, more professionally produced, had more awareness of the rules of its craft, and therefore was more enjoyable to consume? If anyone wants to tell anyone that art is worthless, I invite you to challenge them on the spot to go without all of the above items during the (inevitable, at this rate) second coronavirus lockdown. No music. No films. No books. Not even a video or a meme or anything else that has been made for fun, for creativity, or anything outside the basic demands of Compensated Economic Production. It’s then that you’ll discover that, just as with the underpaid essential workers who suffered the most, we know these jobs need to get done. We just still don’t want to pay anyone fairly for doing them, due to our twisted late-capitalist idea of “value.”

Anyway, since this has gotten long enough and I should probably wrap up: as you say, the difference between “professional” and “hobbyist” has been almost completely erased, so that people think the opinion of one is as good as the other, or in your case, that the hobbyist should present their work for free or refuse to be seen as a professional entitled to fair compensation for their skill. That has larger and more insidious effects in a global marketplace of ideas that has been almost entirely reduced to who can say their opinion the loudest to the largest group of people. I don’t know how to solve this problem, but at least I can try to point it out and to avoid being part of it, and to recognize where I need to speak and where I need to shut up. My job, and that of every single white person in America right now, is to shut up and let black people (and Native people, and Latinx people, and Muslim people, and etc...) tell me what it’s really like to live here with that identity. I have obviously done a ton of research on the subject and consider myself reasonably educated, but here’s the thing: my expertise still doesn’t outweigh theirs, no matter what degrees they have or don’t have. I then am required to boost their ideas, views, experiences, and needs, rather than writing them over or erasing them, and to try to explain to people how the roots of these ideas interlock and interact where I can. That is -- hopefully -- putting my history expertise to use in a good way to support what they’re saying, rather than silence it. I try, at any rate, and I am constantly conscious of learning to do better.

I hope that was helpful for you. Thanks for letting me talk about it.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Happy Together : 3

Admiration

Character(s): (deceptively) dark!Steve

Warnings: this is a dark!fic, it contains non/dubious-consent elements. It goes without (and with) saying that this is 18+.

Series Synopsis: The reader is stood up while awaiting a blind date, instead finding herself keeping company with the restaurant’s famous owner; Steve Rogers. After that night, she tries to forget her humiliation but she just can’t shake one thing about that night: him.

Chapter Summary: The reader gets a surprise.

Notes: Okay, so I’m in a bit of a limbo trying to decide what to focus on now that Witness is all done (except for posting). I’m also working on raffle winners. Hopefully, when I hit 1000 followers and get some stuff sorted, I can open real requests (although I might do it for a short window as I’d hate to let people down), but that’s for the future.

This series is gonna get weird in a bit. Like, I mean dark!Steve is a beast but this version, well let me personally apologize to Marvel and Chris Evans for what I have done.

Thanks to everyone who reads and as always, I looked forward to hearing from you in the replies/reblogs/tags/asks. <3

After purchasing his copy of Inferno, Steve typed on his phone swiftly and tucked it back in the inside pocket of his jacket. You paid for your magazines and shielded them beneath your wool coat as you braced yourself for a brief dash through the rain. He opened the door with another ring of the bell and directed you out ahead of him, pausing just beside you under the awning. A silver car pulled up, the same you had seen that day at the park, and Steve's hand gently nudged your arm, urging you towards the car.

He stepped ahead of you and briskly opened the door, waving you within and you ducked into the vehicle, eager to be out of the shower of cool spring drops. Your hair was half-soaked from only seconds in the downpour and your wet ponytail clung to the collar of your jacket. Steve sidled in next to you as you moved across the leather seat, fumbling your magazines as you settled against the opposite door. A dark screen separated the backseat from the front, the driver still a faceless steering wheel.

“Whew,” Steve pushed back the hair which had fallen forward in the rush, “It's almost refreshing after the winter we had.”

“Yeah,” You agreed flatly, embracing the magazines as you kept your eyes forward.  Even as you pressed yourself to the door, he felt entirely too close. “Thanks for the ride.”

“No problem, but we better tell Deni where to go.” He tapped on the black screen with two knuckles and it jolted down slightly, enough for sound to pass through. “Your address?”

“Um,” You hesitated to say. You hadn't really thought this out. Steve had been nice but he was a complete stranger. A stranger you had managed to run into several times in a city so big you never saw the same face twice. It was too late to go back, you resigned as you looked out at the rainy pavement. “It's ------.”

“You haven't stopped by the restaurant yet,” He remarked, his arm stretching across the seat as it had done on the park bench.

“Sorry, I've been working. I've got a quite a few commissions.” You laid the magazines flat on your lap, nervously resting your palm on the top cover.

“Well whenever you find a chance, the meal’s on me,” He smiled. “And the wine.”

“I can't do that. Really, I'll come, but I can pay for myself.” You already felt as if you had accepted far too much and with every favour, you felt more of an obligation to the man. You didn't like that feeling. You had worked for two years to become your own person, you weren't going to toss it away over a five-star dinner.

“I'm sorry your date never showed up,” He said plaintively, “He missed out.”

You winced and cleared your throat. Even he knew you had been stood up. “He had an emergency and well it just didn't work out anyways. He's not really my type.”

“You have a type?” He smirked and you suddenly felt as if oxygen was foreign to your body. A martian trapped on a planet not your own. He was looking to you expectantly as you tried to muster words and answer.

“Well, I don't know. I guess we just didn't, um, mesh,” Your fingers tapped nervously on the magazines. Tension rose between you, the warmth of his arm across the seat seeped around you.

“Hey, I keep forgetting to ask. You got a business card? I've been thinking of a rebrand for Spice next year. In this business, you gotta keep on top of trends,” He spoke casually but there was conspiracy in his tone. “Maybe you can send me some pricing and stuff.”

“Uh, maybe,” You cursed your own savviness at keeping cards on your at all times. He already knew your address, did he need everything else? You could feign not having one but you were sure he'd find a way to get your info. You flicked out a card and held it out to him. He took it and read the small font, running his index along the edge. A glimmer of victory shone in his eyes.

The car came to a stop and you looked over as it pulled into your lot. Thank God. “Um, this is me.” You squeaked, thankful for the out. “I appreciate the ride.”

“Anytime,” He slowly lowered his arm back to his side as you opened the door and climbed out.

You looked back briefly as he said goodbye, the rain having slowed to tolerable. His eyes devoured your every move, clinging to you until the door shut. You swirled around to hide the bob in your throat as you tried to swallow your discomfort. It had to be all in your head, right? Your past just made you distrustful; cautious. You walked up to your building and into the lobby. You glanced over and the silver car remained on the street. You unlocked the main door and let yourself in, happy for the protection of the self-locking entrance. The car didn’t move was even as you stepped onto the elevator, its silver body visible just through the front doors. Even as the doors closed, you could still the vehicle looming like a phantom; watching, waiting.

--------------

A couple days and nothing unusual happened. You spent Tuesday morning at your desk. By four, you were content with all you had done and finished up your emails. You had managed to convince yourself that you had been reading the situation too closely. Not a peep or sight of Steve. You realized now he must have asked for your card as a courtesy, his offer of a free meal extended without expectation of fulfillment. You felt even more the fool for thinking it had been more than chance. You were still the antsy woman who had been stood up at the hippest joint in the city.

As the weather grew nicer you tried to get out more. The winter had been long and frigid, many of your nights spent wrapped in a throw as you hunched over your tablet. You wanted to enjoy the sunshine before it got too humid to breathe. You threw on a zip-up hoodie and grabbed your purse, ambling down the stairs with your headphones snug over your ears. You turned on some dreamy Hozier melodies and disappeared into the endless stream of pedestrians on  the New York streets.

You took your usual route, the noise of traffic muted by your music and you turned into the park, heading along the benches as the smell of pollen filled your nose. The tulips were start to open up and the trees had full branches as the leaves had returned in lush prestige. You turned down the path that led to the sanctuary where the municipal council was trying to preserve a piece of nature in the urban jungle.

There were small checkpoints along the path, a bench and the occasional picnic table to rest or sit and take in the rare palatial scene. You sat on the bench and watch a squirrel climb the winding branches, leaping bravely from one to the next. You smiled as you enjoyed the moment of peace, the rhythm lifting you up as you leaned back and stared at the clouds through the leaves. You should have brought a sketchbook you bemoaned to yourself. Well, maybe next time.

You sat until the day began to dim to evening and you stretched before setting off the way you had. You stopped at the first curve of the trail, your eye caught by an unusual rustle of a bush. Your heart caught but you found it to be nothing more than a breeze. You chuckled to yourself and carried on. That path was empty as the night loomed. You could see the edge of the park just ahead and you relaxed just a little.

You took out your phone to restart the song and were suddenly pulled off-balance. A thick arm wrapped around your middle and pulled you into the thicket, turning you and pushing you against a large oak. You tried to shove yourself away and break free from between the tree and your accoster but they were too strong. 

You clawed at the thick forearm and another hand came up, the edge if your vision catch the hem of white rag. The smell that hit you was sickening as you were smothered and you tried not to inhale but your only alternative was to suffocate. Your head turned woozy and your vision blurred, your body falling limp as the black swallowed you up.

****

tags: @ruff-m3rc @alexakeyloveloki @lanabanana-86 @sathlens @jessieray98 @kellyn1604 @ahideousthinginside @ironlady1993 @kloe-iel @grayxswan @iheartsebastianstan @myboyfriendgiriboy @tanelle83 @patzammit @phoenix21love @they-call-me-le @iheartsebastianstan @spaghettirogers @buckycaptspideypool @bethanyzed @meaganottiz02 @patzammit @breezy1415 @beautiful-and-strange @momc95

[ssttitdramon]

Tax The Rich [alternative title: Out]

Ramón Morales x Reader

Request from @im-just-babey: Hey bro, could I request a Ramón x reader where the reader has a wealthy but shit family.

-Rules for requests can be found here-

Word Count: 2,046

Note: For a while the only thing I had for this fic was “tax the rich” so that’s the title now. Also, you may have been expecting something where they’re rebellious and it’s all a big huge middle finger to the stuck up wealthy family, but uh it’s been a while since I wrote some spooky fuckery -since Ham Sandwich Boys- so I took the liberty of leaning more towards that. Sorry this took forever to post, thank you for your patience.

Ramón scrunches his nose, the house was as big as the mansions his aunts would tell him about. Si nomas vieras, ya parecen castillos.

Looking around at the extensive foyer, he takes in the double staircase and stained glass ceiling piece above him, he doesn’t feel right. Stepping foot into the lavish home was a mistake. Ramón needed to be on the road again, not letting himself get distracted by whatever this was. 

He’s not gonna tell you that, of course. Something told him to follow along with your eager eyes and smile.

“Well, what do ya think?” you ask as you jump on the first step of the left staircase. Ramón smiles and takes another look at the “french polish” you had mentioned on the staircase railing, whatever that meant. 

“It’s… a lot, but it’s nice.” he responds dryly and laughs at the unimpressed look on your face.

“You would hate listening to the guy that designed this house,” you begin to walk up the stairs as you imitate ol’ John, “Ah yes, I told Doris myself that the finishing Italian light oak stain would not be proper for the west study. Why, it would clash terribly with the evening sunset.” sending you two into a fit of giggles until you hear footsteps upstairs.

Ramón steps back from the stairs, “You sure no one's home? I don't want any trouble and I should get going anyway.”

You were confused too, your parents have been out for a week and the maids were given the weekend off, “No, I thought everyone would be out by today.” you respond, peeking at the empty hall upstairs. Even your siblings had planned a small trip to the beach for a couple of days without you.

Suddenly, you see your younger sister walk out of her bedroom, “And who’s that? Does dad know you’ve got a little friend here or should I tell him?” she snickers.

You roll your eyes, “Go ahead, I’ll join you and together we’ll see what he thinks about your secret powder stash you’ve got in your room.” you snap back, glaring at her as she descends from the right staircase.

“Fine,” she scowls and takes a quick look at Ramón before leaving, “but you better take out the trash while we’re out.” 

Ramón’s face gives away his discomfort and as you begin to apologize for your sister’s rude comment you hear a loud thud above you. “Did you hear that?” you ask him. You could’ve sworn the two of you would be alone by now. Another muffled thud, still somewhat louder than the first. 

“C’mon.” you wave him over. The two of you walk through two hallways and another flight of stairs, reaching the third floor living room. Then you hear it again, something shuffling from the attic, “Great.” you sigh.

Sharing an anxious look with Ramón, you pull down the squeaky attic ladder and stare into the darkness. "I haven’t been up there in a while.” you whisper, “It’s been under construction since the beginning of the year.” The attic was being remodeled as a space for you and your siblings, a plan agreed by everyone before they all started being complete assholes.

Ramón begins to climb up the ladder, "How many rooms do you really need?" he jokes and reaches for the temporary light switch on the floor beside the opening. He takes note of the iron set of lights over the double pool tables, the dark leather couches, the soft bearskin rug and a tall bookshelf that extended across the east wall, interrupted in the middle. The attic was half finished, but there was no sign of a recent disturbance. “Nothing’s up here.” he tells you.

You warily climb up the ladder, stand over the hardwood floor and look around. “They told me renovation was to be completed next month,” you eye down the dark unfinished half of the attic, “It had stopped a few weeks ago due to a ‘change of plans'.” you form air quotes with your fingers. You walk underneath the overhead attic light and listen to its strange buzz.

Ramón walks around one of the pool tables, rolling the cue ball under his palm, "What's that over there?" he points at the far corner of the unfinished half. The corner had boxes piled one on top of the other, held in place by bricks and several wood planks leaning against the pile.

You shrug, "The small closet, it might still be there behind all the junk."

Suddenly, you hear heavy breathing behind your right ear, making you both whip around as you slowly get closer to Ramón. You see nothing. Still, you couldn’t shake off the feeling of being watched.

"You uh, forgetting to tell me your house might be haunted?"

"Shit, I- no." you stammer, he raises his eyebrows. "I don't know, okay? I've been having weird dreams of the old maid since we let her go about a month and a half ago. I always see her standing at the edge of my bed.” you explain, remembering your last nightmare of Mrs. Clarice. You also recall dreams of another woman growling from inside your bedroom mirror, often joined by disembodied voices that would cry for revenge, curses and to be “let out”. You never understood the pain and anger in their words, until now as you stand on the other side of the tiny door. The tiny door anyone could just seal and forget about...

"Let her go?" Ramón interrupts your thought process, "Got any clue where she went?" 

"Well, my parents had also fired two other maids after her and they never told us why, nor did I think much about her absence until I began to have the nightmares.” you explain, panicking at the thought of what really happened to the three women. “Shit, you don’t think my parents-” you can’t bring yourself to finish your question as you begin to hyperventilate. Your head runs wild with possibilities of the women’s fate and what the closet could be hiding from the world.

You notice Ramón stand in front of you, blocking your view of the corner. He takes your shaky hands and asks you to slowly breathe in and out. “For all we know, those women are probably fine and you’ve just got a family of rabid raccoons holed up in there.” he suggests.

“What about my nightmares? She tries talking to me and I hear other voices. She seems like she’s angry and crying for something, like she’s hurt or-” 

“Trapped?”

You wipe tears away from your eyes, glance at the pile behind him and nod, “I might find her or something there.”

His silence is alarming and you turn to look at him, expecting an annoyed glare for dragging him into the situation. Instead, he turns around and takes a few steps back. You hear a floorboard creak under Ramón's foot, which somewhat prompts another thump from the boxes. Along with the buzzing of the overhead light that grows loud and erratic now.

Ramón turns to you wide eyed and as he’s about to speak, there’s another thump and a plank falls. Your heart begins to pound against your chest and you begin to hear a faint voice in your head, one of the few from your nightmares. “Out. I need out. Out. Out. Let me out.” 

You feel an invisible pull from the corner, sensing the voice in your head calling for you from underneath the pile. Suddenly, you feel Ramón grab your elbow, "Wait, I don’t think it’s a good idea to get closer."

"Someone is in there, behind all that. I can feel it." your eyes begin to sting, but you refuse to look away from the pile. 

Ramón feels it too, there is someone else in the attic. Their presence heavy on his shoulders, pressing on the back of your necks. Angry. Demanding. He knows that they, whoever they are, is not going let either of you leave now. 

"Fine, but we gotta be careful about this." he sighs and reaches for a long hammer inside an abandoned toolbox by the wall.

The two of you walk closer and hear ragged breathing from under the mess. He pokes one of the bottom boxes with the end of the hammer, but nothing moves. Your shaky hands begin to gently remove the planks and bricks. In silence. One by one. Ramón takes two boxes off from the top, surprised by their weight and opens both to find them full of sand. He attempts to push one of the larger boxes at the bottom, but it seems too heavy to move with one arm alone. 

“Someone’s definitely been hiding something in there.” he points out, “Do you still wanna dig through this?” 

You can still hear the voice ring inside your head, “Out. Out. Out.”

“No, I don’t,” you shake your head, “but we also can’t leave this, can we?”

He hums in agreement and the two of you continue moving the rest of the boxes. One by one as you remove the boxes, you notice an awful smell. Ramón notices as well and he asks again if you’d like to continue. 

You don’t, but you grab another box. 

You just want to get this over with. 

You grab another box. 

You just want the angry hissing in your head to be gone now.

Finally, you get to the bottom, the two of you work together to remove the remaining bulk. Once the last box in front of the small door budges, a pungent smell seeps out. You gag and Ramón begins to cough.

“Yup, there’s a dead body in there.” he declares and covers his nose with his jacket. He was right, any remaining hope you had of finding something else is gone now. 

You turn to look at him, “I’m sorry,” you cough, “just wanted to show you around and hang out. Not discover a fuckin’ body in my attic.” you give the box a kick.

Ramón smirks under his jacket, or maybe it’s a grimace; nevertheless, he wiggles his eyebrows, “It’s alright, just another casual hang out with a brat inside their castle. The usual.”

You laugh and shake your head, “You haven’t even seen our giant kitchen.” you quip. 

Thanks to Ramón, you feel numb, or rather prepared for the other side of the door. Sure, you barely met the guy only this morning and you’re on the brink of discovering what could be a corpse in your own home, but you feel like you can trust him. He could’ve left you to face this on your own, especially when he’s been itching to leave, yet he’s sticking around. You believe he’s simply interested enough to stay, but the concern in Ramón’s eyes tells you otherwise. He’s choosing to stay and face whatever is on the other side of the door with you.

“Alright, if anything jumps out, grab the hammer.” you bury your nose into your sweater, knowing it may not even mask the foul odor, but it wouldn’t hurt to try anyway.

On the count of three, you and Ramón push the last box away. The closet door is worn down and bits of the wooden panel in the middle stick out from the inside. You grab a nearby flashlight, turn it on and slowly open the door. The voice in your head dies down with a final “OUT.” and the buzzing of the overhead attic light stops.

Sure enough, you’re met with a swarm of flies, several maggots and three figures wrapped inside what used to be white sheets. The smell is overpowering and although you feel the urge to run from this, your eyes are drawn to the holes made at the mouths that have been cracked wide open, fear frozen in time. Above them each are two black circles, oozing dark liquid from underneath the sheets. 

You hear Ramón gag and you open your mouth to scream, yell, anything. Nothing. You attempt to reach for Ramón, barely able to move an inch. You turn your head to check on him. As soon as your eyes meet, you hear a pop echo from the closet. 

Then, as clear as day, a groan. 

“Out.”

-Feedback is always appreciated-

[nerdygaymormon]

As someone who has dealt with (if not still dealing with) MDD, have you ever felt like you were running out of time? Have you ever felt like what you were doing wasn't enough? If so, what advice did you get that was helpful, if any? I have been to therapy and seen six therapists over the years, but not one has given me any sort of coping tools. And I used to turn to religion until I started questioning whether I was queer, then that became a major source of fear. 1/?

I’ve accepted that I’m queer now, and through other queer mormons have come to like the idea that the god that is taught in the classrooms and in the literature is not God as He truly is, all-loving regardless. However, I’m still heavily shaken, my faith is starting almost new from a tree that’s been cut back so bad it’s almost nothing but roots, so the prospect of meeting my maker and the end terrifies me, and I constantly feel like I’m running out of time to be the good saint. 2/2

—————————————————————

It’s interesting reading this because my approach in my mental distress was the opposite. Instead of wondering am I doing enough and do I have enough time to do better, I worried I was as good as I would be and wasn’t strong enough to keep doing so. I actively chose things to shorten my life. Not healthy. I still have some self-defeating behaviors from those days that I need to work on.

________  

This week in Come Follow Me we read about the dream of the Iron Rod. What we’re aiming for is the tree that has the fruit of God’s Love. That’s the goal. You’ve recently come to see that God’s love is extended to us, it’s here ready if we will accept it. I think for too many of us, clinging to that iron rod becomes our focus and can hamper us in feeling God’s love. We’re too scared of not clinging with both hands to ancient texts that we ignore the word of God to us today and it keeps us from moving forward. 

One thing that helped me is to change my focus from fear to hope. I don’t fear I cannot live the type of life that God wants me to or be the person God wants me to be. I don’t think I’m strong enough to thwart God’s plan for me, I trust that God has planned for queer people. Now I have hope I can do better, I can progress. I can be a good person and do things that are pleasing to God and which bring meaning to my life. 

One way that happened for me was to stop worrying about life after death. There’s no real answers for that. No one can prove it exists. Those who’ve had experiences where they died and came back describe an intense amount of love, not fear or condemnation. Those who’ve had visions describe it as more wonderful than we can imagine. Yet no one can describe what an average day is like in heaven. So I just gotta trust that a loving God will take care of it.

I focus on this life. I think about if God & Christ are real, then they are working today in our world. How can I partner with them? What work are they doing and how can I help? There are things I can do today or this week to help others. Paul teaches that Love is greater than faith. Love for others and learning to love myself is where I can make the biggest impact. 

In essence, the gospel is to love ourselves & to love others. To help others is to help God, especially those who are downtrodden, who are poor, who are refugees, who are on the margins, who are widows & orphans, who are in prison, who are hungry, who are homeless, who are scared. That’s true religion. 

________  

I am better able to help others and make a positive contribution when I invest in myself and develop my talents and abilities. To run and not be weary means to practice running, to bit by bit get better. Also to run constantly means to get worn down, so I also have to practice self care, which can include learning to take better care of my body & mind, reducing stress, drawing boundaries, and so on, that way I can run when needed.

________   

The Church’s definition of a successful life is completing the “covenant path” and having a family. Yet the Church excludes me from its path of success but doesn’t give me any alternatives. In this absence, you and I get to define what a successful life looks like for us. 

One basic need for humans is connection, which I believe is included in God’s Plan, but is denied to queer people under the Church’s version of God’s Plan. The Church’s Plan seems very to be exclusively for cisgender heterosexual people without contemplation of the rest of us.

A successful life for me would be to have a long-term loving relationship and some deep friendships.

Do you want you to find someone to love and who will love you? You can pray and ask God about this (most queer people I know who’ve asked have gotten a very strong positive response to this question). Do you want to contribute to society? If so, what does that look like? Do you want to be a better person? In what ways do you want to improve? What do you want your life to look like?

________   

I don’t know how much longer I have to live, none of us do. So rather than worry whether I am going to accomplish all these things, I instead think “am I generally headed in the right direction?”

Who did I help this week? What did I do to develop myself? Did I do something of worth this week? Did I take time to recharge myself?

I like that our church has started teaching that we get credit for trying. I like that the temple recommend questions have changed to ask if you “strive” to do things.

If I’ve decided on what a successful life looks like, I don’t have to be 100% successful at this moment. It’s a goal to work towards. It’s probably a goal that never is reached. Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King, Jr, or other people who you might identify as super aware and super successful, never reach the point where they say “I’ve accomplished everything I need to have had a successful life.” They just kept striving.

________  

I like the idea taught by our church that we’ll be judged according to the knowledge we have. As our knowledge changes, so does the criteria by which we’ll be judged. 

You’ve recently undergone a major change in your faith and your understanding of God. That’s a change in knowledge. You have a new set of criteria to learn to understand. It takes time to figure out how that change plays out in your life and in your goals. 

________  

When I said to my therapist that I’m not sure if I do things I do because I like them or because it became habit from my years in the closet and trying to present as straight, he said I get a chance to discover myself. Try a new wardrobe, if I don’t like it, change again. Try going to new places, doing new things, meeting new people. Be very curious. Replace things with something meaningful, something that brings happiness, something that makes me feel 

________  

I don’t know if any of this resonates with you. I hope something I wrote is helpful. A few more thoughts:

Mankind is that we might have joy, what brings you joy?

give yourself credit for changes you’ve made

small changes and small acts are important

your past explains how you got to where you are, but it does not define you, you can change

find others with whom you can share the deep thoughts and worries and who can understand what you’ve been through. I have found that queer Mormons understand me in a way no one else does. Yet other queer people can understand and so can some cishet Mormons

It takes courage to do these things, but queer people have proven time and again that we are a brave people

You have two incredible legacies of people to call upon–Mormons & Queer People. Each have been pioneers, have demanded respect and change, have accomplished incredible things because they were willing to do big things, and are good at building community

[olivediamonds]

Lost and Found: Chapter 2

So...I kinda had a huge burst of inspiration so this came out quicker than I originally planned. Hopefully you all will enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

You woke up to the sound of your pokemon and Leon's playing outside. You crawl out of the tent to see Snowy and Charizard playing with a ball while haxorus and dragapult were playing hide and seek with Nikky. It looked like Leon wasn't awake yet so you set up another fire to begin making breakfast. As you cooked you noticed you were missing an important ingredient and let out a soft curse. Charizard had come over to you and nudged your shoulder as if to ask what's wrong.

"I'm missing an ingredient for breakfast."

Charizard extended his wings and gave a huff which you understood very well. You grabbed your recipe book and flipped to the ingredients page and showed Charizard as you pointed out the missing ingredient.

"You think you can find me this? If you can I'll give you a triple serving of breakfast."

Charizard nodded his head and took flight, heading in the direction he knew where to find what you need. As you looked back down you noticed a little head poking out of Leon's tent.

"Hey little guy, you want to come out and show your pretty face?"

You crouched down in place and took out a treat, holding it out for the pokemon. The pokemon shyly crawled out of the tent and cautiously approached you and the treat. As it got closer you could see it was a young sobble.

"Are you new to Leon's team? You must be since you look pretty young."

The sobble nodded his head as he climbed into your hand and began to eat the treat you gently petted the top of his head and sobble nuzzled into your hand before climbing onto your shoulder.

"You want to help me finish breakfast since Leon wants to be a lazy butt?"

Sobble let out a little laugh and nodded, watching you stir the pot as Charizard returned with his claws full of the ingredient you needed.

"Just in time! Thanks buddy, now go relax and breakfast will be ready soon."

You took the ingredients from Charizard and added a few while putting the extra in your bag. Charizard seemed surprised when he noticed sobble on your shoulder and spent the rest of the time you cooked talking with sobble. You wished you could understand what they were saying since the conversation seemed very interesting. Once breakfast was ready you filled a plate for everyone and gave two plates to Charizard who looked very happy as he dug in. You filled a plate for you and sobble and another for Leon before going over to Leon's tent and giving the tent a playful shake.

"Wake up sleeping beauty! If you don't get up I'm giving Charizard your share!"

There was the sound of shuffling and soft curses as Leon shot out of the tent with his bed head barely contained under his hat.

"Alice why are you so cruel?!"

You laughed as you say down with you breakfast. Sobble crawled down into your lap and you alternated between feeding sobble and yourself. Leon finally noticed sobble in your lap when he was halfway through his food.

"Sobble?! How did you get out of your pokeball?!"

Sobble started to get teary eyed, thinking he was in trouble until you started petting his head and comforting him.

"Shh it's ok, he's not mad."

Leon nodded, moving to sit next to you and smile at sobble.

"Yeah, I'm just impressed you came out on your own. It took you a few days to warm up to me! I'm kinda jealous that you warmed up to her so quickly."

Sobble climbed out of your lap and onto Leon's to comfort him as you finished your breakfast. As you looked around you noticed that Snowy had moved over to where Charizard sat and was sharing his second dish with her.

"I didn't know you had a sobble, did you recently catch him?"

Leon chuckled as he let sobble finish the rest of his food. She could almost hear Charizard huffing that sobble doesn't get in trouble for eating his food.

"Kinda? I brought some pokemon for my brother and his friend to pick and since sobble was left I decided to keep him for myself. I think he'll be a great addition to my team!"

You laughed as sobble became embarrassed and tried to hide in Leon's shirt. Once everyone was finished eating you collected the plates and cleaned them up before packing them away and breaking down your tent. As you finished stowing away your tent you felt something being placed on your head that you knew was Leon's hat.

"Thanks for the breakfast, you want a ride to Turffield?"

You shook your head as you called Nikky and Snowy back to you so you could return them to your pokeballs.

"Thanks but no, I'm going to search for a bug type to help me take on Milo. Gotta build up my winning team to take you down."

There it was again, that determined grin that had Leon eager to battle you. Before he gave in and asked to battle you, he went to break down his tent and call his team back to their balls.

"Well I can't wait to see when that day comes. I'll see you when you reach Turffield!"

With that he climbed on Charizard's back and gave you a wave before Charizard flew up and away in the direction of Motostoke. You headed in the opposite direction deeper into the woods and began your search for the perfect addition to your team. The forest was peaceful, silent save for the sounds of wild pokemon going through their day. You crouched down when you saw ahead of you a group of stufful, definitely not what you were looking for but they were so cute playing together that you couldn't help but take out your phone to take a picture of them.

Suddenly something caught their attention and they looked in the direction you were hiding. Did your phone make a noise they heard. As the stufful began to run away you started to pull yourself up until a roar behind you made you freeze.

-------------- with Leon -----------------

Leon landed at the entrance to Motostoke of course a small crowd gathered around him and he happily signed some autographs and took pictures with some kids before excusing himself to head to the stadium. He was supposed to meet Raihan there earlier but of course he ended up sleeping in and then there was no way he was leaving without enjoying the breakfast you made. Just thinking of you made him smile to himself. He really enjoyed his time with you and hoped he could meet up with you before your match with Milo so he could wish you luck.

"Why am I not surprised you're late! Did you get lost looking for your hat?"

Raihan grinned as he walked over to Leon and ruffled his hair. Leon swatted his hand away and tried to fix his messed up hair.

"Something like that. So, what do you think about the competition this year?"

Raihan and Leon started walking into the stadium as Raihan listed some of the competitors he thought might make it to him.

"And of course that brother of yours and his friend I can definitely see reaching me. Oh! And then there's that Alolan cutie with the vulpix."

Leon's head snapped up and turned to look at Raihan with wide eyes.

"What as that?"

Leon's reaction made him pause and look at him with raised eyebrows.

"What? What'd I say?"

Before Leon could say anything Raihan and Leon's phones went off and flew out of their pockets to show an alert from the wild area. Raihan frowned when he read the message.

"Looks like there's a raging haxorus near the woods."

A chill went up Leon's spine when he looked at the map showing where the haxorus was spotted. It was by where you were! Without another word Leon jumped on Charizard's back and took off, leaving Raihan calling out to him in confusion and running after him on foot.

"Please be alright Alice!"

------------- with Alice -----------------

Before you could finish pulling yourself up you were knocked back down by someone tripping over you while another person ran past you. When you sat up you saw a rough looking guy with three eggs in his arms. It didn't take you long to figure out the reason for that roaring.

"Did you steal a pokemon's babies?!"

Before the stranger could answer a large female haxorus broke through the trees and focused her sights on you and the stranger. The guy quickly scrambled to his feet and began running again as you hurriedly picked yourself up and followed after the guy as the haxorus charged at you. As you ran you pulled out Snowy's pokeball and called her out. As soon as Snowy was out you told her to use ice beam on the haxorus' legs to slow her down. Snowy obeyed and it worked, freezing one of the haxorus' legs to the ground. Unfortunately it seemed to just make the haxorus madder as she broke the ice and focused all her attention on you and Snowy. Before you could call out another attack the haxorus charged at you, readying a giga impact attack.

Before the attack could hit you there was a flash of light and another haxorus was standing in front of you and blocking the attack. You heard a voice above you and saw Leon jumped off Charizard and landed at your side.

"Get out of here, I'll handle it."

You shook your head and told Snowy to use aurora beam while Leon's haxorus used outrage.

"Some guys stole her eggs. She's angry because she wants her babies back."

Leon nodded in understanding and called out for Charizard to look for the thieves. Charizard flew off in the direction you pointed as you both returned to holding off the mother haxorus.

"If you can weaken her just a little more, I can get Snowy to use hypnosis."

Leon nodded and told haxorus to use outrage again followed by earthquake. The mother haxorus roared in anger but was too weak to use another physical attack. You knew now was your chance and told Snowy to use hypnosis. Snowy jumped in front of Leon's haxorus and began to sway her tails back and forth. The mother haxorus followed the swaying tails and slowly her growls grew softer and quieter until her eyes closed and she fell asleep, falling onto her side and curling up.

You let out a sigh of relief and quietly called Snowy back to you so you could hug her tightly. It was a wonder you were still standing with how shaky your legs felt. Leon returned his haxorus to her ball and placed a comforting hand on your shoulder.

"Are you alright? You did great out there."

You smiled weakly and nodded as you petted Snowy and praised her for her good work. You heard a voice behind you and turned to see Raihan walking up to you and Leon with Charizard following behind him. In his arms were three eggs and Charizard held another two.

"Hey, everyone alright? Those two poachers are in custody now and the eggs are safe."

As Raihan got closer he saw the sleeping haxorus and let out an impressed whistle.

"Wow, that's a big mama."

He set the eggs down in the curl of her body and turned back to you and Leon.

"Let's get out of here before she wakes up, something tells me she's not a morning person."

You and Leon agreed and started heading to Motostoke. You took the lead with Charizard and Snowy while Leon and Raihan took the rear. Raihan looked between you and Leon and gave him a sly grin which made Leon confused.

"What?"

"Well that explains why you were late this morning."

Leon was still confused until Raihan gestured to his head. Leon looked back at you and could feel himself blush as he realized what Raihan was implying since you were still wearing his hat. Leon hit Raihan's arm and spoke so you wouldn't hear.

"It's not like that!"

Raihan didn't look convinced but didn't say anything. Before Leon could defend his statement you cried out.

"Nobody move!"

Everyone froze as you took out a quick ball and tossed it at a nearby tree. Raihan and Leon were confused until you ran up to pick up the ball and showed off your newly captured joltik.

"And now I'm ready for Milo!"

Leon laughed as his Charizard and Snowy celebrated your new capture. It amazed him that even after that haxorus attack you still remembered your goal.

"Well then, let's get lunch to celebrate! My treat!"

You and Raihan let out a cheer in agreement.

"Oh yeah! I'm starving!"

"Who said you were invited Rai?"

"Hey!"

You laughed as Leon and Raihan started bickering. Your new joltik happily climbed up your leg and up to your shoulder to nuzzled your cheek. Your team was slowly coming together. Soon enough you'll be ready to take on all the gyms in your way.

[ericsonclan]

How to Curry Favor

Summary: Omar meets some trainers on his Pokemon journey who show him camping with others isn't always a bad thing.

Read on A03:

Omar felt the weight of his pack grow heavier on his back with each step. He knew that it would probably be for the best if he looked for a campsite for the night. Being alone had always suited Omar more or at least that’s what he told himself whenever he came across other trainers. Whenever he reached a campsite he always got filled with dread, the memories of the few times he had joined crashing into his mind. The far and few times he had joined a site, the other trainers always seemed to brush him off or get upset based on his beliefs in certain topics. 

Omar shifted the pressure on his left leg to his right leg, looking out towards the field of tall grass that stood between him and the route that would eventually lead to Marsh Town. There was rumoured to be rustic classics just waiting to be added to his collection of recipes. His eyes looked towards the sky that was turning from the calming blue into a bright orange.

I can’t stay on route 20 for long. Not when it gets dark. He was drawn out his thoughts when his Applin shuffled in the open palm of his hand.

“Sorry, I’ll find us a place to rest,” He gave a small smile towards his Pokemon who seemed happy by the news.

“Applin!” it cried before settling down in his hand once more. Omar focused back on finding a camping spot. This route had been reported to contain dangerous Pokemon. If he was lucky there would be others here if not… He would just have to spend another night camping alone and keep watch.

He walked down the trail for a few more minutes when he spotted a campsite off in the distance where a few trainers were staying. Omar took a deep breath, preparing for the worst but hoping for the best when he walked forward. When he came closer towards the camp a redhead with slicked back hair looked up from her camping chair where a Cleffa cuddled comfortably in her arms.

The redhead said something to the brunette man by her side who turned towards her before looking up from his task of setting up a tent towards Omar. Before Omar had even reached the site, a man with dreadlocks ran forward with a huge grin on his face.

“Hey there! Come to join our campsite? ”His smile disappeared for a split second when he saw Omar’s surprised expression on his face. “Only if you want to.”

“That would be great if you have the space.” Omar replied, looking down at the sleeping Applin in his hand. He hadn’t met anyone so friendly at a camp before.

“Of course!” His dreadlocks swayed when he extended his hand. “I’m Louis!”

Omar shook the man's hand with a firm handshake. “Omar.”

“Well, Omar, come on over,” Louis turned around sharply causing his coat tails to flutter in the wind. “We happen to have a great spot left if you want to claim it.” He motioned over to a grassy spot on the left corner of the site.

“Thanks,” Omar looked towards Louis before starting on setting up for the night. After he gently set down Applin on top of his jacket he began to set up his tent and sleep bag. When that was finished he decided to let his Drowzee out for a bit to stretch his legs. Drowzee seemed more than happy to be out of its Pokeball. Omar then moved onto setting up his cooking pot and prepping station for dinner. It was just at that moment when he noticed a girl walk over with an Absol walking calmly by her side.

“Hey there, I wanted to give you a few minutes to set up before introducing myself. I’m Clementine.” The girl gave a warm smile towards Omar who once again felt a feeling of surprise wash over him.

“Omar,” he paused when he saw Clementine’s eyebrow quirk at his Drowzee. Omar’s eyes traveled down to see his Pokemon standing more defensively, its nose swaying slightly as it stared at the Absol. “Drowzee, relax, that’s a friendly Pokemon,” Omar looked back at Clementine. “Is your Absol alright if I pet it? My Drowzee can be a bit of an anxious Pokemon, but usually if he sees that I get along with the Pokemon he’s fine.”

Clementine was taken aback by Omar’s question. Usually people were wary of her Absol and wouldn’t really like being near it. “Sure,” Clementine gave a few pats to her Absol before gesturing for it to step forward. The Absol’s red eyes stared into Omar’s who seemed unfazed by it. Slowly he moved his hand forward, waiting for the Pokemon’s approval. When the Absol seemed fine with it, Omar brushed his hand on the top of the Pokemon’s head who seemed happy with the affection.

“I usually don’t see many Absols on my travels,” Omar glanced up at Clementine who seemed touched by his acceptance of her Pokemon.

“Not many trainers want one. Usually people say they’re doombringers but that couldn’t be farther from the truth,” Omar could tell there was a story behind Clementine’s words, but he knew it wasn’t his place to pry.

“I also came over to ask if you wanted to join the others and myself at the center of the campsite. Brody has started a fresh pot of MooMoo milk,” Clementine motioned over to the redhead who was stirring the contents of a pot when the brunette man came up from behind and wrapped her in a warm hug. The girl seemed surprised for a moment before smiling back at him.

“I’d like that. My Drowzee is a bit anxious around new trainers. Is it alright if he stays back with my Applin?” Omar scratched the top of his Drowzee’s head who seemed pleased with itself.

“Sure,” Clementine smiled at Omar.

With reassuring words that he’d be back in a little bit, Omar walked alongside Clementine to the center of the campsite where five chairs had been set out. Louis was busy talking to the other two when he noticed Clementine, a bright smile playing on his lips as he motioned her over.

“Hey, Omar! Come to join us?” Louis intertwined his fingers with Clementine’s when she had sat down in the chair beside him. A Bellsprout was nuzzling against Louis’ leg under his coat.

“That was the plan,” Omar sat down in a chair and was immediately struck with how unusual this camping experience had been so far for him. Rarely did he meet people like this. “Thanks for letting me stay at the campsite.”

Louis waved a hand dismissively. “Think nothing of it. Oh! You haven’t met these two, have you?” Louis looked over at the pair who were busy preparing mugs of warm MooMoo milk for the others.

“Hi there, my name’s Brody,” The redhead smiled shyly at Omar before handing him a mug which he accepted gratefully. “And this is my boyfriend Mitch,” She put a hand on Mitch’s arm who looked over Omar and gave a small nod.

“Hey.”

“Hello,” Omar took a quick sip of his drink when Louis spoke up again.

“So tell us Omar, what brings you to the likes of Route 20?” Louis leaned forward, clearly intrigued to find out the answer. The others also seemed interested as well.

“I was on my way to Marsh Town to find some new recipes,”

“Oh, you’re a chef?” Clementine’s voice made Omar look over towards her.

“That’s my dream, but for now I’m traveling with my Pokemon to find new recipes and…” Omar’s voice faltered for a moment. Should he share the next part of his sentence? It was usually the part that people didn’t care for. He studied the group’s eyes for a second before deciding to go for it. “And to find healthy and delicious alternatives to recipes to make sure that no Pokemon lose their lives for our meals.”

The group seemed amazed by his statement.

“That’s amazing!” Brody wrapped her arms around her Cleffa once more while carefully holding her hot drink.

“Yeah, sounds cool,” Mitch pushed aside his Golbat that was trying to sneak some sips from his drink.

“Do any of you cook much?” Omar looked around at the group.

“I only know about five curry recipes,” Clementine stated. “It’s enough to get by so it works out well.”

“I know one,” Mitch grumbled, annoyed by his own lack of skill when it came to cooking.

“I know two curry recipes,” Brody leaned back in her chair and took a long sip from her cup. Louis looked proud when it was his turn to answer. “I know a whopping dozen recipes! They are all safely tucked away right here,” Louis tapped the side of his head with his index finger.

“Most burn to shit though,” Mitch looked over at his friend with a smirk.

Louis’ face fell at the comment.

“Mitch,” Brody scolded, whacking the side of his arm in disapproval.

“What? It’s true.” Mitch looked over at his girlfriend.

“Well, Louis’ curries are getting better each camping trip,” Clementine added to which Louis’ warm smile appeared once again. “What about you, Omar? How many curry recipes do you know?” Omar thought for a minute, trying to recall how many he had obtained over his six years as a trainer. “If it’s just curries, I would guess around 151.”

“151!?!” Mitch’s eyes were large at Omar’s words. “How are there that many fucking types of curry?”

“It all depends on the ingredients and the imagination of the person,” Omar stated simply.

“You gotta cook for us tonight!” Louis nearly jumped up on the spot at his own suggestion.

“Only if you want to,” Clementine added, hoping that the suggestion hadn’t stressed out Omar, but when she looked over at him she saw the biggest smile yet appear on his lips.

“I’d love to.” Omar suddenly was struck with realization, “But I didn’t bring nearly enough for this many people and Pokemon.”

“No need to worry about that,” Louis got up to his feet, carefully placing the sleeping Bellsprout onto his camp chair. “Just tell me what you need and Mitch and I can grab it at the nearby town.

Omar looked shocked by the offer. “I don’t have the funds right now to pay for it,”

“Don’t worry about that. I got it covered,” Louis flashed a charismatic smile.

“Alright: lum, sitrus, mago, kelpsy and hondew berries, fresh cream and some veggies like-”

“Hold on, there is no way those two will remember that,” Brody reached in her pack to grab a piece of paper and pencil.

“She’s right, it would be better to write a list for them.”

“Hey!” Mitch stood up in a huff. “We’re not dumbasses.”

“Well,” Louis scratched the back of his head, “When it comes to this, Mitch, we sorta are. We’ve totally forgotten things in past shopping trips.”

Mitch tried to come up with a comeback but fell short, tapping his foot impatiently while Omar jotted down the list of ingredients.

“Thanks, Omar,” Louis took the list and planted a quick kiss on Clementine’s cheek. “We won’t be long,”

“Okay,”

“Be safe,” Brody held onto Mitch’s hand for a second. Mitch gave a small smile to Brody before kissing her.

“I will,” With that the two were off, promising to be back within the next half hour or so. The three sat around the center of the campsite in silence, each of them focusing on finishing up their drinks.

Clementine was the first to rise up, brushing some dust off her pants before taking out two Pokeballs and tossing them in the air. A sound emitted from each Pokeball and a faint light as a Luxray and Leafeon appeared. “You want to join us in some games?’ Clementine looked over at Omar with a smile.

He didn’t know exactly how to respond. This was this first time he had been offered to join in with playing with other people’s Pokemon. Brody got up as well, releasing a Spinda from its Pokeball.

“Sure, let me just check on Drowzee and Applin,” Omar got up and walked over to his two Pokemon who happily greeted him when he showed up.

“Applin!” The Pokemon cried, its eyes popping out from the apple and looking up at Omar with adoration.

“Hey there,” Omar picked up the Pokemon in his hand again. “How would you two like to join the others in some games?”

His Drowzee seemed still unsure by the suggestion while Applin seemed perfectly content with staying his hand. “Okay, you two can stick by me, but I’m sure Sizzlipede would love the friends,” Omar unclicked the Pokeball from his belt and threw it in the air; a tiny red Pokemon emerged in front of him. “Want to make some new friends?” Omar kneeled down in front of his Pokemon.

“Sizzli!” The Pokemon closed its eyes, swaying its head back and forth in agreement. Omar flashed a quick smile before making his way back towards the others who had pulled out all their Pokemon toys. An old, worn-out rubber ball in the style of a Pokeball laid by Absol’s feet while a mirror ball was stared at curiously by the Spinda who stumbled on its feet with each step.

“Oh, you have another Pokemon?” Clementine asked, a feather play toy in her hand that Luxray was already trying to get to.

“So cute,” Brody smiled down at the Sizzlipede who gave a happy cry at the new face. “Are your other Pokemon going to want to join in?” She looked over at Drowzee who was clutching onto Omar’s pant leg.

“No, they’re shy with new people,” Omar lifted a finger and rubbed the top of Applin’s head.

“My Cleffa is the same way,” Brody lifted up her arms that had the Cleffa in it who looked at Omar for a second before turning its gaze downward. Suddenly Omar felt something brush up against his leg. Looking down he saw Clementine’s Leafeon who seemed to have already taken a liking to him.

“Leafeon,” it purred as the leaf on its head blew in the wind, causing the scent of fresh morning grass to overwhelm Omar’s senses. If the Leafeon had that smell, then it must be a fairly young Pokemon.

“Looks like Leafeon is already becoming friends with you,” Clementine pulled up her hands, causing Luxray to let out a whine while she stretched her paws towards the feather toy.

“Looks like it,” Omar smiled down at the Pokemon and gave it a few scratches which seemed to help his Drowzee calm down.

Soon the games started first with a fun game of fetch. Clementine tossed the old rubber ball as far as she could. Luxray was off like a shot, tearing up grass and dirt when she ran forward. Sizzlipede wasn’t going to let her competition get away with it though. The Pokemon moved its tiny legs as fast as she could, leaving a thin layer of dust while it tried to catch up. Spinda on the other hand was going the wrong way, stumbling and tumbling over, getting once again distracted by the mirror ball.

“Spinda, Clem threw it that way,” Brody blinked her eyes a couple of times, trying not to get dizzy just looking at her Pokemon. Luxray returned within seconds, causing Sizzlipede to stop, slowly turning around and jetting off after her. Omar chuckled while he watched his Pokemon. Even though throughout the rounds Luxray and Leafeon would end up getting the ball, Sizzlipede would never give up. A small, joyful glint played in her eyes whenever she tried to chase after the other Pokemon. In one heated round Spinda had actually gone the right way, stumbling around and looking more like it was dancing than trying to get a ball. Luxray immediately got distracted by the Pokemon and jumped around it, barking excitedly while arching her back playfully.

“Lux! Lux!”

“Spiiiiiinda,” The Pokemon fell on its feet once more but didn’t seem to mind as it got right back up again. Absol watched from the sidelines, seeming to pay particular attention to Luxray before resting his head once more. The games continued for some time until Louis and Mitch came back.

“We come bearing many gifts!” Louis exclaimed, placing the bags down on one of the camping tables. Omar looked up from waving the feather toy back and forth for Luxray and Sizzlipede.

“Thanks, I can get started right away,” Omar placed aside the feather toy and started to make his way to his supplies to prep.

“Oh, we can help,” Brody offered with a kind smile.

Omar looked up and nodded. “That would be great, if you could just cut up those vegetables,” He gestured over to the array of veggies besides him. Brody and Clementine immediately started helping out while Louis and Mitch took a break, receiving much love and attention from the different Pokemon. Omar started on the cooking, getting a good base for the curry while the rice cooked. Once the base was set and at the right consistency he added some of the berries, making a rich, flavorful sauce. Once the rice was done he placed it to the side and reseasoned a pan before placing veggie patties on it. The patties sizzled and popped from the heat. A warm, comforting flavor filled the air which made Mitch’s stomach growl while he tossed one of the toys for Golbat to catch.

Once enough of the patties were done, Omar set out to layer the plates. First with the soft, fluffy rice seasoned with mild spices, then he added the berry-filled curry sauce that the rice soaked in on contact. Lastly he added two veggies patties on each plate, ladling another small serving of the sauce on its side before presenting the dish. The other four looked in awe at the presentation of the dish.

“Holy shit!” Mitch wiped his mouth when drool started to appear on it.

“It looks amazing,” Clementine looked at it, the aroma of it overpowering her nostrils and causing her stomach to growl. Suddenly she felt a paw whack against her leg. Luxray looked up at her with large eyes.

“Don’t worry, I made enough for all your Pokemon too,” Omar moved back, revealing the different Pokemon bowls he had asked them to bring over. Each of them was filled with the same mouth-watering meal. “It should be the right amount based on what I know of your Pokemon’s usual weight and metabolism.”

“Whoa, you really thought of everything,” Brody looked at the food with a level of disbelief in her eyes. “I can’t believe you can make it look this good,”

“There is no need to wait: grab a seat and enjoy,” Omar motioned before sitting down himself. The others didn’t need to be told twice. Immediately they started to dig in along with their Pokemon. Some tried to take their time like Brody and her Cleffa while others struggled to maintain any manners like Louis and his Trubbish. The five sat around the table talking about some of their adventures along the way.

“Oh, you gotta camp with us again when we’ve got some of the others with us,” Louis spoke, a grain of rice shooting across the table.

Omar flicked aside the grain before looking at Louis who had an apologetic look on his face. “You don’t just travel together?”

“No, we usually only meet up here and there. Louis and I actually met Brody and Mitch one night when they needed a camp to crash at.” Clementine looked over at Brody.

“It was really sweet of them. That was the first time we met Marlon and Violet too. You remember that, Mitch?” Brody smiled at her boyfriend who swallowed his mouthful of food before responding.

“We also met Prisha there too,”

“You know a lot of other trainers.” Omar took another bite of his curry.

“Well, if you wouldn’t mind exchanging contact info you can join us again sometime,” Clementine’s offer shocked Omar who sat in silence considering it.

“I’d like that, but first,” Omar snatched up his bowls along with his Pokemon. “We should get the dishes done so we can move to dessert.”

“Holy shit, there’s more?” Louis’s eyes danced with excitement. Everyone helped out with the dishes. Even some of the Pokemon tried to as well, although some like Spinda were thanked for their offer but didn’t end up helping out.

Soon the pots and dishes were clean and Omar started once again, first getting the rice started off again then the base with sweeter spices to bring out the brighter, fruitier notes hidden with the berries.

When the sauce was done Omar asked each of them to take a turn whipping the cream, figuring it would be a nice way to have them help out. “You use your arms and position the bowl like this,” Omar demonstrated before passing off the bowl to Clementine who only took a few seconds to catch onto the gist of things. Omar put his focus back on the dish at hand and incorporated some more ingredients into the mix and after a few minutes of letting its stew, the juices formed together into a flavorful sauce he took off the heat.

Once again he gave special attention to detail when plating the dishes. The sweet rice was placed first then the bittersweet sauce was added next. Last but not least he added the whipped cream that each of the trainers had helped make. When it was done, everyone dug in once again.

“Fuckin’ A!” Mitch’s eyes brightened. “This is fucking delicious,” He scarfed down his dessert within seconds. Omar shook his head at how fast Mitch had inhaled the food. He didn’t even bother to savor it. But a small smile crept up onto Omar’s lips, happy for all the compliments his dishes were getting.

After the meal was done, the five of them sat around and talked for a bit longer. They shared some funny stories with their Pokemon, some of which seemed to not care while others seemed to understand their trainer’s words and took some offense to it.

“Come on, Bellsprout, it was cute!” Louis pleaded but the Bellsprout had jumped off his lap and after a few seconds of struggle had plopped itself onto Clementine’s lap.

“Bell,” it huffed, turning away from Louis’ face.

“I should probably head to bed. My Pokemon seem pretty tired,” Omar’s head tilted to his arms where all three of his Pokemon had fallen asleep.

“Oh, before we forget, here!” Louis hands shot forward, holding his phone. “ Your info!” Omar took the phone and one by one the others handed theirs forward until everyone’s contact info had been inputted. With that Omar got up, wishing the others a good night sleep before dipping into his tent.

After a few minutes he was settled into his sleeping bag, the warmth slowly covering his body as a smile appeared on his lips. This had easily been the best campsite he had ever been to. Not only were the people nice, but their Pokemon had gotten along with his. Omar’s eyes fell upon his phone which laid beside his sleeping bag.

His smile grew as he thought of the prospect of another campsite night. For the first time on his journey he was excited to have run into other trainers.

[serpentupemotions-blog]

Guilt (Part Two) - Sweet Pea x Reader

Summary: You’re out of your element during a second trip to the Whyte Wyrm, but your feelings for Sweet Pea are only growing stronger. Being Archie’s sister makes navigating the Southside versus Northside issue even more difficult as you try to figure out where you stand with Sweet Pea.

A/N: Oh my God, I finally got it done! This is part two of a request I got by @babbbiegirl​ (who probably wasn’t wanting all of this, but I’m very grateful for the inspiration the request gave me!)

I’ve come to the realization that the three things I struggle with the most are: titles, summaries, and figuring out how to end stories. So, all three are mediocre at best, but hopefully the rest of it makes up for that.

Warnings: Some pretty mild swearing

Word count: 8,307

You walk out of your bedroom when you hear the familiar sound of Archie slamming his bedroom door, always just a little too hard for no particular reason. Hurrying after him you pull your jacket on, covering up the plunging neckline of the shirt you were wearing. “Archie,” you call, almost running down the stairs.  

Archie turns to look at you when he hears you yell his name, picking up the keys to your dad’s truck that he was borrowing for the night. “Yeah?”

“I’m coming with you,” you tell him confidently, coming to a stop in front of him.

“To FP’s retirement party? Like hell you are.”

Crossing your arms over your chest you push yourself in front of the door. You both may be teenagers now, both too mature for your age after dealing with everything you had been through, but sometimes you still acted like children.

“Y/N,” Archie sighs, “get out of the way.”

“I’m not moving unless you bring me with you.”

“Why do you even want to go?” Archie asks impatiently.

Your cheeks warm up as the truth immediately comes to mind, seeing Sweet Pea again. You had taken extra time to get ready, tried on many different outfits, all in hopes that he would notice you. There was no way you were letting Archie leave you behind.  But there was even less of a chance that you were about to tell him the truth. “I grew up with Jughead too, I have just as much reason to go as you do.”

“You’re not coming.”

“Yes, I am,” you say, not giving in as you press your back into the front door.

Archie glares at you, not saying anything for a minute before checking the time on his phone. “Fine, let’s go, I don’t want to be late, I told Veronica I would be there five minutes from now.”

You turn around with a smug smile on your face, opening the front door and walking to the truck. The drive is quiet for a few minutes until Archie looks over at you for a second before returning his eyes to the road ahead of him. “Stay with me, Veronica, Jug or Betty, I don’t want you hanging out at the Wyrm alone.”

You roll your eyes, knowing that Archie was focused on the road and wouldn’t notice it. You wanted to tell him that you had already been to the Wyrm before, to prove yourself as being able to do things without being coddled. But you kept your mouth shut, because you were aware that the ten seconds of feeling smug would never be worth the repercussions of telling him about your trip to the Whyte Wyrm after the fight.

Archie pulls into the parking lot at the bar, already crowded with motorcycles. A small crowd of older men stand under one of the few lights on the exterior of the building smoking, each of them wearing a Southside Serpent jacket. You wait till Archie gets out of the truck before slipping your jacket off quickly and abandoning it on the seat of the truck. Closing the truck door, you notice Archie looking around nervously. Something was up with him and Veronica, you could sense that. As much as you didn’t want to see your older brother dealing with relationship issues you found a silver lining in it, that it would distract him from feeling like he needed to babysit you the whole night.

Walking into the Wyrm the atmosphere is shockingly different from the night after the fight. The bar is packed with bodies, conversations blending into a steady drone of noise, rock music playing loudly, the occasional crack of pool balls against each other coming from the back of the bar. “Come on,” Archie says, gesturing for you to follow him to a table in the far corner.

Knowing you just had to wait till Veronica showed up you oblige, sitting down in an empty chair without complaint. “When’s Veronica supposed to get here?” you ask looking over your shoulder, trying to find Sweet Pea without making it too obvious to Archie that you were looking for someone.

“She’s almost here,” Archie tells you and you notice Jughead approaching, looking tense.

“Y/N, I didn’t know you were coming,” Jughead says, stopping beside you and glancing at Archie.

“I didn’t know she was coming until fifteen minutes ago either,” Archie says, immediately justifying why he hadn’t said anything to Jughead about you coming.

“Clearly neither of you want to hang out with me,” you say and push your chair back, “so I’ll go find someone else to hang out with.”

“Y/N,” Archie says as you stand up, “I told you to stay with one of us tonight.”

“I can take care of myself, Archie. Figure things out with Veronica, don’t worry about me.” You say it like you’re doing him a favour, giving him space so he can work on his relationship. But it was just a thinly-veiled excuse to get away from Archie and Jughead. Turning away from Archie you weave through the crowd of people, eyes scanning the crowd the whole time to find Sweet Pea. You eventually spot him by the bar, talking with the, much too young to be bartending, girl standing behind the bar. Taking a deep breath, you walk over, stepping up to the empty space at the bar beside him.

“What are you doing here?” Sweet Pea asks, his voice accusatory.

His words sting more than you wanted to admit and you force yourself to smile anyway. You couldn’t show him that you were upset by that. Jughead was like a brother to you, but you weren’t here for him. None of your friends were here. You had come for one person. “Couldn’t get enough of this place, I guess.” Your tone is sarcastic, and you glance around you, trying to make it seem like you weren’t there to see him.

“Your brother isn’t going to do something stupid tonight, is he? That you think you’re going to have to apologize for.”

You roll your eyes, turning your head to look at him now. “If he does something stupid it’ll be with his own relationship.”

Sweet Pea watches you for a moment before nodding and shrugging, indicating that he wasn’t concerned in the slightest with Archie and Veronica’s business. You were glad, because that’s not what you wanted to be talking about. “Toni, Y/N. Y/N, Toni,” Sweet Pea gives the briefest of introductions, gesturing towards the girl behind the bar. You stare at him for a second, biting the inside of your lip to try and hide the smile on your face. You hadn’t told him your name. Which meant he must have asked about you. He hadn’t told you his name either. But you both knew, because you both had asked Jughead. Both pretending that you weren’t interested in the other person, just curious about who they were.

“It’s nice to meet you,” you say to her with a friendly smile, extending your hand over the bar and shaking her hand quickly.

She glances at Sweet Pea and you pretend not to notice the smirk on her face. “You too. Do you want a drink?”

You agree to a drink and she slides the club soda you asked for towards you a moment later, all the while her eyes flicking between you and Sweet Pea.

“What about you?” Sweet Pea asks suddenly.

You look up at him, eyebrows furrowed. “What?”

“Are you going to do anything stupid tonight?” he asks, a smile on his face. It’s almost shocking, seeing him smile. It was possibly the first time you had seen him smile, seen him not angry about something.

You smile and take a sip of your drink, looking around the crowded bar again. You were a little surprised Archie hadn’t come to find you or sent someone else to come and find you. “Well I don’t have any plans to do anything stupid,” you say, turning your attention back towards him, “but I don’t have any plans not to either.”

“Well at least you can’t do as much damage as your brother,” Sweet Pea says, chuckling quietly.

“Shouldn’t underestimate me.” You look away as soon as Sweet Pea tries to make eye contact with you, a smile on your lips, taking pleasure in knowing you had gotten his attention.

Your smile fades quickly as you watch a miserable looking Archie and Veronica walk onto the stage across the bar, Mad World playing over the speakers.

“Oh, this should be good,” Sweet Pea comments, chuckling. “I’ve gotta get a better view of this.” Sweet Pea begins to walk away, and you hesitate before following him, not wanting to stand at the bar alone.

Sweet Pea leans against a wall, arms folding across his chest as he watches Archie and Veronica begin singing. You come to a stop beside him, but you wished you were both still standing in the back of the room, watching Archie and Veronica was giving you an incredible amount of second-hand embarrassment. “Oh God,” you mumble and Sweet Pea snorts at your comment, glancing over at you.

You alternate between watching Veronica and Archie sing and staring at the ground in front of you, not being able to look for too long. You peel your eyes from the ground when the singing stops, just in time to catch Archie fleeing from the stage, Veronica already gone. A chorus of boos erupts around you and you hear Sweet Pea joining in. Reaching over you playfully hit his arm, smiling in relief, because at least it was over. “What? You weren’t enjoying that?” Sweet Pea asks jokingly, a smirk on his face.

“Couldn’t have been farther from enjoying it.” Your relief doesn’t last long as you watch Betty take the stage. This time you can’t take your eyes away from the stage, eyes wide in shock as you watch her strip her clothes off on stage. As she starts to dance you look around, the room filled mainly with middle aged men, most of them watching intently, a few glancing towards Jughead for his reaction. FP appears from the crowd as the song ends, clapping and ending the horrifying silence that had filled the room.

FP takes the stage and begins a speech that changes the tone in the bar drastically. There’s an energy his speech evokes, a riled-up excitement that filled you with anxiety. You became acutely aware that you were an outsider as the room erupts in cheers and applause when FP announces that he isn’t retiring. This wasn’t a celebration that you were supposed to be apart of. Pulling your phone from the back pocket of your jeans you text Archie, asking him where he went. You wait a couple minutes before putting your phone back in your pocket, crossing your arms over your chest and pressing your back into the wall, looking around the room in hopes that you would find Archie. You watch as Sweet Pea walks away from you, a sinking feeling in your stomach. Sweet Pea heads towards where FP was standing, surrounded by fellow Serpents, happily slapping each other on the arms, laughing, and cheering about FP’s announcement.  

“Hey, Northsider,” a guy’s voice drags your attention from FP and the celebrations happening around him. Turning your head, you look at the guy the voice came from, a bit older than you but still far below the average age of the people in the bar. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m Jughead’s friend,” you defend quickly, straightening your back and inching away from him, wishing you could just disappear.  

He chuckles, his eyes not leaving you, though he had yet to actually make any eye contact, his eyes all over everything except your eyes. “What’s your name?”

You swallow a lump in your throat, looking around again for Archie. “Y/N.”

“Well, Y/N. Can I get you a drink? Something to loosen you up a little, you look terrified.”

You bite the inside of your lip, feeling equal parts angry and anxious. If you had a little more courage you would have told him that if he thought you looked terrified it was because you were and to back off instead of trying to get you drunk. But you didn’t have that courage. “No, I’m fine. Thanks.”

“Come on, lighten up, have some fun. Everyone else is celebrating. What do you drink?”

You shake your head again, “nothing, I’m not drinking.”

“You have to have a celebratory drink.”

You wanted to tell him that you weren’t celebrating. That you weren’t a Serpent and you had no idea whether this was something that should be celebrated or not, that you didn’t even really know what it meant that FP wasn’t retiring. But you couldn’t figure out how to say that, too scared to say anything in case the anxiety took over and you said something wrong.

The hot air in the bar is permeated with the scent of alcohol and cigarettes and your lungs suddenly refuse to allow you to fill them completely. Your breathing is shallow, your heart racing. The stuffy warmth surrounding you and making you feel dizzy.  

“Hey,” Sweet Pea says, walking over to you. “Where’d your brother go?”

You let out a breath that you hadn’t realized you were holding when Sweet Pea returns. A sudden pain in your jaw alerts you to the fact that you had been clenching it, becoming aware that ever muscle in your body was tense with anxiety. You shrug and look around for what felt like the hundredth time, not seeing him anywhere. Of course, he was always so insistent upon watching over you until the one time you did need him, and he was nowhere to be found. “I don’t know, probably with Veronica somewhere.”

“I’m going to hang out with Fangs and Toni for a bit, why don’t you come with me?” Sweet Pea suggests, reaching over and placing his hand on your lower back before you have a chance to say anything. Not that you needed to say anything, anyone paying attention would have noticed your change in demeanour when Sweet Pea had returned to your side, the relief he had brought you simply by walking over. You walk along beside him, the pressure of his hand on your back guiding you through the crowd of people and back towards the bar where Toni was standing with Fangs. It’s not until his hand leaves your back till you realize how much you wished he would keep it there, or anywhere on your body. You wanted to feel his hands on you, and even the thought of that scared you. Because tonight had done nothing more than reaffirm that he had no interest in you. He was looking out for you, being nice, but only because your brother had disappeared.

“Thanks,” you say to Sweet Pea once you both stop walking.

Sweet Pea shrugs off your thanks, silently letting you know it wasn’t a big deal. But you couldn’t shake the feeling that it was a big deal, that if he had the chance he would much rather pawn you off on someone else you knew than have you hanging around with him and his friends like a lost puppy.

“Hey, I’m Fangs. You were here after the fight, weren’t you? Archie Andrews’ sister…you were soaking wet and terrified, if I remember correctly.”

Your cheeks flush, forcing yourself to smile and you nod at his statement. That was not the first impression you had been hoping for that night, but that’s evidently what had been received. “Yeah, that was me,” you laugh softly, “I’m Y/N.”

Pulling your phone from your pocket you check your text messages again, in case you had missed something.

“You can sit down,” Sweet Pea says, gesturing to the empty barstool he had left between himself and Fangs. He was sitting on his seat sideways, one arm resting on the bar top, turned towards the empty stool he was offering. Hesitantly you step closer and sit down on it, still worried you were accepting an empty invitation. Toni places another club soda down in front of you with a reassuring smile. It was a simple gesture, a glass full of carbonated water, yet such an appreciated one. It was a welcoming gesture in a rather unwelcoming place. Sitting there with them it felt like you were in a bubble, separate from the rambunctious celebrations that had given you so much anxiety not many minutes prior.

You listen to them talk for awhile about FP, about him not retiring and what that meant for the Serpents, about Betty’s dance. You listen in fascination as they discuss it all in an incredibly casual manner, realizing how different their lives were to your own.

“Y/N,” Jughead’s voice causes you to turn around, your knees brushing against Sweet Pea’s as you spin around on the barstool.

“Sorry,” you whisper to him, the corners of his lips curling into a smirk when you make eye contact. Looking away from him you’re met with a very clearly upset Jughead. “Hey, what’s up?”

“I was just talking to Archie, he’s outside in the truck, he told me to find you and tell you it’s time to go.”

You glance down at your phone, not seeing a message from Archie.

“Your brother really knows how to wreck a party,” Sweet Pea says, and his words seem to make Jughead upset as he turns his attention to Sweet Pea with an intense glare.

“Yeah, well, unfortunately he’s my only way home, so I guess I have to go,” you tell Sweet Pea, standing up from the barstool. “It was nice to meet you guys,” you say to Toni and Fangs before looking back at Sweet Pea. “Maybe I’ll see you around.”

Jughead turns to head towards the door with you. You can’t help yourself, you look back over your shoulder once you get a few feet away. “Y/N, wait,” Sweet Pea calls when you look back. He gets up from where he was sitting, walking over to you while fishing his phone out of his pocket. “Could I, uh, maybe, get your number?”

You smile up at him, a little surprised by the way he stumbled over his words. Of all the things you expected from him, being nervous to ask for your phone number was not one of them. “Yeah, sure.” You give him your phone number, watching him put his phone back into his pocket. “Have a good rest of your night, Sweet Pea.”

He stays standing there as you turn around and walk out of the bar with Jughead. The crowd of people seemed to have calmed down a bit, or maybe you had just gotten used to the energy in the room. You get into the truck with Archie and you head home despite not wanting to leave. You keep quiet about the fact that you had given your number to a Southside Serpent, to Sweet Pea, to the boy who not too long ago showed up at your house ready to fight your own brother.

It’s a few days before you get a text message from Sweet Pea and you had yet to tell anyone about your feelings for him, not your best friends and sure as hell not your brother. You were aware of the fact that it was still dangerous waters you were treading, maybe it was calmer now than weeks ago, right after the fight, but it was still treacherous.

Sweet Pea: ‘Do you have any plans tonight?’

You had been on your phone when you got the message, reading it immediately. But you made yourself wait to text him back. Even though you thought that rules about waiting to text someone back, so you didn’t seem overly eager were dumb, you still fell into the trap. You wait as long as you can stand before opening your text messages again, realizing as long as you can stand was only ten minutes.

‘Nothing important, why?’ You press send and stare at your screen, immediately wondering if you should have said something different, reading and re-reading the three words. The appearance of three little dots in the bottom corner makes your heart race, happy to see that Sweet Pea didn’t care about waiting any length of time to respond.

Sweet Pea: ‘Toni, Fangs, and I are going to see a movie do you want to come?’

You read the message, disappointment overwhelming your body. You had wholeheartedly been anticipating something a bit more date like, not hanging out with him and his friends.

‘Yeah, sure. At the Bijou? What time should I meet you guys there?’ you toss your phone down onto your bed, laying back on your pillows with a groan.

Sweet Pea: ‘We’ll be there at 8:30’

‘See you then’

You look at the time, two hours. Crawling off your bed you head downstairs, finding your dad and Archie in the kitchen. Archie was leaning against the counter, absorbed in his phone while your dad was cleaning up the kitchen. “Can one of you give me a ride to the movie theatre later?”

Your dad nods, taking a couple plates out of the drying rack by the sink and placing them into the cupboard. “Who are you going with?”

“Just some friends.”

Archie looks up from his phone when he hears your vague response. “New friends?”

You already knew where he was headed with that question, and his suspicions were correct. “Yes, new friends. I’m allowed to make new friends, Archie.”

“Who are they?” Archie asks, his phone completely out of his hand now as he stares at you suspiciously.

Your jaw clenches in irritation, exhaling heavily, glaring across the kitchen at him. “I don’t have to tell you.”

“Please don’t start arguing, you two. I can’t deal with that right now,” your dad says, and you sigh, leaning against the doorframe of the kitchen. “Yes, Y/N, I can drive you to the movies.”

“Great, thank you,” you say, turning around and leaving the kitchen before Archie is given the opportunity to ask anymore questions about who you were going to the movie with.

“Thanks for dropping me off, I’ll call you when the movie is over,” you say to your dad, opening the truck door and jumping out. The cold air sends a shiver through your body and you’re grateful you didn’t have to walk to the theatre, even if that meant making Archie suspicious. Walking into the lobby of the movie theatre you see Sweet Pea first, his back was turned to you, but it was hard to miss him, taller than almost everyone in the building.

“Hey,” Toni greets you first and Sweet Pea turns to face you as you walk over.

“Hi,” you reply and look up at Sweet Pea, smiling politely at him. You were trying your best to pretend that you were fine with him wanting to be just friends, but you weren’t sure you could play that role very well.

“Should we go get tickets?” you suggest, gesturing towards the ticket counter.

“We already got them,” Sweet Pea tells you, reaching over and handing you a ticket.

“Oh,” you say, taking the ticket from him while reaching for your wallet. “How much do I owe you for the ticket?”

“Nothing.”

You look up at him, your wallet still in your hands as you begin to unzip it. “How much was it, Sweet Pea?” You couldn’t not pay him back for the ticket. Him paying for you was too much like a date for you be okay with. If you were just going to be friends, you were drawing that line right away.

“I knew this was going to be weird for us,” you hear Fangs say and you look up, seeing that he was talking to Toni. “It’s like a double date, except we’re not dating.”

“We aren’t either,” you say quickly. For someone who wanted it to be a date more than anything, you were pretty quick to correct him on that. But if you didn’t then Sweet Pea would have, and it would have hurt more hearing it from him. “We’re not on a date.”

You pull a twenty-dollar bill from your wallet and shove it into Sweet Pea’s hand, sighing as he refuses to close his hand around the money. “Just take the money.”

“I’m not taking your money,” Sweet Pea tells you, holding eye contact as he easily folds your hand closed over the bill, keeping his hand around yours for longer than was needed to get his point across.

You break away from the eye contact and the physical contact at the same time, your heart hammering so hard against your chest you thought it might just give up altogether. “Fine, whatever. Thanks for the ticket,” you mutter, shoving the money back into your wallet.

“God, this is weird. I’m going to get some snacks,” Toni says, and Fangs follows closely behind her as they walk across the theatre lobby.

You turn back to look up at Sweet Pea once you were sure Toni and Fangs were far enough away to not be able to hear your conversation. “Do they…did you tell them… this isn’t a date, right?”

Sweet Pea shrugs and a tiny smile grows on your face. “No.” And with that the genuine smile turns into another forced smile as you look around the room to mask the chance that he would be able to recognize any disappointment on your face.

Once Fangs and Toni return you head into the theatre with them, not saying anything else to Sweet Pea. Fangs takes the lead and heads down a row halfway down the theatre and the rest of you simply follow suit. You sit down in between Toni and Sweet Pea, immediately feeling nervous about how close you were to Sweet Pea. You run your clammy palms along the tops of your thighs, adjusting in your seat as you try to keep your arm from touching Sweet Pea’s. You wouldn’t have minded being this close, your arms touching, if you hadn’t been spending the last couple hours trying to convince yourself that you could get rid of your attraction to Sweet Pea if you just tried hard enough.

The movie starts and no matter how hard you try to just focus you can’t keep your mind on the movie and off Sweet Pea. Every time you see him move out of the corner of your eye you’re pulled back out of the movie. It didn’t help that you had no interest in the movie, but the Bijou was a one theatre establishment so it’s not like there had been any other choices. As the movie continues to drag on you feel Sweet Pea’s leg press against yours and you look down at his thigh. Maybe he didn’t even notice, his legs were long, the theatre was old and small, he didn’t have a lot of space to stretch out. But you noticed, you noticed enough for the two of you.

“Sorry,” Sweet Pea whispers and you turn your head to look at him, realizing he had caught you staring at his leg. Your cheeks burn but the darkness of the theatre is enough to hide that from him.

“No, it’s fine,” you whisper back, turning your head to look at the screen, your body tense as you feel him staring at you now. A couple minutes pass and you turn back to him. “I’m going to the washroom, I’ll be right back,” you whisper, standing up and doing your best to get around Sweet Pea. You bump into his leg, placing your hand on his thigh to stop yourself from falling right on top of him. “Shit, sorry,” you whisper, moving your hand quickly and finally getting around him. If only he hadn’t been so tall, or he hadn’t made you so nervous that your legs felt like they were made of jelly, then perhaps you could have made something of a graceful exit. Instead, you feel your face get even warmer as you hurry out of the theatre.

The lobby is quiet, and you walk over to the bench along the wall, underneath the poster for the movie you were bailing on. Sitting down you stare blankly at the ground, at the dark carpet, covered in stains from years of spilled soda and buttery popcorn. Why you ever thought he would be interested in you as more than just a friend, you could no longer remember. You were just some stupid Northside girl, you grew up in a sheltered life, you had a loving family who did everything to protect you. Until this year the worst thing you had experienced was your parents divorce.

“Do you really hate the movie this much?” Sweet Pea asks, chuckling as he sits down beside you. You look at the large space he leaves between you two, sighing to yourself.

You turn your attention to him, leaning against the wall that the bench was pushed against. “Well I don’t love it.”

“Are you alright?”

You nod quickly, “yeah, I’m fine.” You fiddle with a loose thread on the seam of your jeans as a silence comes over the two of you. “You can go back and watch the movie, I’m just going to stay here for a few more minutes.”

“It’s not a very good movie,” Sweet Pea says, and you laugh quietly, staring across the lobby as Sweet Pea sits beside you doing the same thing. “Did I like, I don’t know, upset you when I touched you?” Sweet Pea’s voice is quiet and nervous, so unlike the way you recognized him.

“No,” you say quickly, leaning forward and turning your body towards him. The last thing you wanted was for you to be putting your anxieties onto him. You had to figure out your feelings, without dragging him into the mess of it all. “No, you didn’t.”

Sweet Pea nods still focused on something across the lobby. Or maybe focused on nothing in particular, but he hadn’t turned back to look at you. “Good.”

You nod despite him not looking and feel your cheeks get a little warm as your mind once again wanders back to how attracted you were to him. Your eyes glance down to his hands, resting casually in his lap. To the rings on his fingers, wondering the backstory for each of them, he didn’t seem like the kind of guy to wear rings just for the hell of it. Your eyes travel up his body, his large arms covered in layers of flannel and a very worn-in leather jacket. When you get back to his face Sweet Pea is staring at you, watching you completely check him out in the least discreet way possible. “I probably could have made that less obvious,” you say quietly, needing to say something to break the silence.

Sweet Pea chuckles, shifting closer to you on the bench. “I’m glad you didn’t.”

You swallow nervously, looking at the closing gap on the bench between you and Sweet Pea. “I don’t want to just be some stupid, naïve Northsider to you.”

“What?” Sweet Pea is visibly taken aback at the change in topic and tone. “Where is this coming from?”

“It’s just, you and your friends have so much going on in your lives. So much stuff that I don’t even know the slightest bit about. I grew up in the suburbs, I spent most of my childhood with two parents. My life has just been so safe, so sheltered. The other night, at FP’s party, I just felt so out of place and that’s your life. That’s your world and it’s a world I don’t know how I could ever fit into…as your friend, or something more. I like you. But I get it, I get that I’m just some stupid, helpless Northsider who you had to rescue at that party because I’m so out of my element in your world.”

Sweet Pea looks away from you when you finish talking, you watch him lean forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he runs his palms together anxiously. “I don’t know what to say, Y/N.”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything. I’d rather you be honest about not feeling the same way towards me.” You tilt your head back, resting it against the wall behind you and staring at the ceiling, noticing the flickering of the light above you, threatening to burn out at any minute.

“That’s not what I meant,” Sweet Pea says, sitting up straighter to look at you.

Leaning away from the wall you look into his eyes, trying to figure out what he did mean then, if he didn’t mean that he didn’t have feelings for you.

“I don’t have anything reassuring to say to you. You’re right, we’re nothing alike. But you’re not naïve or helpless.  When you showed up at the Wyrm that night after the fight, that was pretty far from being helpless,” Sweet Pea says pausing as he chuckles quietly, bringing a smile to your face. You really hadn’t considered that to be much of display of bravery, especially not after Fangs recalled it as you showing up looking terrified. But Sweet Pea seemed to recall that evening differently. “And you didn’t need me to rescue you at the party, I did that because I wanted to hang-out with you, not because I thought you were helpless…but you’re right, the Serpents, that’s my life and maybe it is better if you stay away from it.”

You nod slowly before suddenly reaching your hand over and sliding it into his, folding your hands together. You knew you had to do it quickly, before the sudden burst of courage propelling it disappeared. “I don’t want to stay away from you though.”

“Then don’t.”

“Okay,” you state in a matter-of-fact tone, trying to ward off the nerves that were bubbling up.

“Okay,” he repeats with a smirk, his thumb grazing over the back of your hand.

“Maybe we could go on a real date sometime, you know, like without your friends chaperoning it,” you say teasingly, laughing softly.

“How about tomorrow? We could make up for the terrible movie with dinner at Pop’s?”

“It’s a date.”

Three weeks of spending almost every afternoon with Sweet Pea pass easily, almost too easily, all of your previous concerns seeming obsolete. Spending afternoons down by Sweetwater River, throwing rocks into the rapids while Sweet Pea teased you about not being able to throw well. Making out on Sweet Pea’s couch with a movie neither of you really intended to watch playing in the background. Playing one-on-one basketball at the court in the park near Sunnyside Trailer park, which never involved near as much actual playing as it involved making up your own version of the sport, along with rule-breaking amounts of physical contact. Spending hours laying on a blanket in an empty field near your house, staring at the stars and talking about everything and anything you could think about. Sweet Pea somehow was always able to make you happy, no matter how bad a day you had been having.

But the reality of what you two had been doing, sneaking around and keeping your relationship hidden from as many people as possible, came crashing to the forefront with the announcement of Southside High shutting down. It was one thing to hide your relationship from Archie when he never saw you two around each other, it would be another thing entirely to hide it with all of you in the same school. Everything had happened so fast, one day your relationship with Sweet Pea was isolated from the rest of your world and the next morning you were arriving at school knowing everything was going to change.

“We need to talk,” you say to Archie, walking down the sidewalk on your way to school. You had been texting Sweet Pea all morning, worried about this very conversation, but knowing it would be better to tell Archie yourself rather than wait for him to figure it out on his own.

“Okay,” Archie draws the word, eyes narrowing. “What about?”

You swallow hard, your mouth dry as your heart races. “You know who Sweet Pea is, right?”

“Yeah, he was at the house the night of the fight.”

“I know,” you say, watching the sidewalk ahead of you as you walk slowly towards the school.

“How do you know that?”

You shake your head and sigh. You knew you had to do this, that you had no choice but to tell the truth, but you simply didn’t want to face it. “Doesn’t matter, that’s not what I’m trying to tell you. Sweet Pea and I, we’ve been, please don’t get mad, I, we, it’s just…we’ve been like, hanging out.” You almost wince at the way your words come out, choppy and uncertain yet somehow you hadn’t even managed to say what you were trying so hard to communicate.

Archie is silent for a few minutes and you nervously pull on your sleeves, fiddling with them while you wait for some kind of response. “That guy showed up to our house with his gang ready to attack me, Y/N,” Archie exclaims. “How do you even know him?”

“Because you pulled a gun on him, Archie. Don’t forget about that,” you say it too loud and Archie slows down, glancing around him in all directions to ensure nobody was around to have heard what you said. “I met him at FP’s party,” you lie. It wasn’t a hard lie to tell, you had formulated it the night after the movie, when you realized that there was a chance of getting caught and you would need to have a lie ready on the back burner.

“And now you’re friends with him? He’s in a gang, you can’t be around that stuff, you’re going to get yourself in trouble, or hurt, or…worse.”

“Jughead is a Serpent too, we still hang out with him. You were in a street race, Archie. You don’t get to tell me that dating a Serpent is going to get me in trouble when you’re even more involved than I am.”

Archie comes to a complete stop and you’re a few paces ahead when you realize he’s stopped. Turning around you cross your arms over your chest, eyebrows raised as you wait for him to say something warranting a complete halt in your walk to school.

“Dating?” Archie repeats your word, a word that you hadn’t even realized you had used until he was saying it again. You feel your breathing quicken, chest heavy as the intensity of the look in Archie’s eyes fills you with anxiety. “You just said you were hanging out with him, how long have you been dating him?” Archie says, the word dating coming from his mouth filled with disgust.

“We went on our first date a few weeks ago,” you admit, truthfully, because you could no longer find a point in lying or trying to delay telling the truth.

Archie looks away from you, shaking his head. “When were you going to tell me? If they didn’t shut down Southside High would you have just kept this a secret? You can’t be with him, Y/N, he’s dangerous. He’s going to hurt you, or get you hurt.”

“No, he’s not. You don’t even know him, you can’t say those kinds of things.” You take a step away from Archie. “I told you now so that you wouldn’t have to figure it out yourself or hear it from someone else. But I didn’t tell you so you could try and talk me out my feelings for him.” You turn back around, still a few feet ahead of Archie when you continue walking towards the school. Archie doesn’t try to catch up with you, stays standing where he is till you’re far enough ahead that he knew he wouldn’t catch up to you without trying.

Walking into the school you see Veronica standing behind a table in the entranceway, looking around you expectantly. “Y/N, where’s Archie?” The table in front of her is covered in sign up sheets, baskets of school buttons, lanyards, and in true Veronica Lodge fashion, vases of flowers to make it all look more put together.

“He’ll be here soon.” Walking over you look down at the table, everything laid out so perfectly. You absentmindedly run your hand over one of the lanyards, biding yourself some time to think of what to say to her. “I’m dating Sweet Pea, I told Archie so you may as well know now too,” you say bluntly, turning to head to your locker before she could say anything about it.

You stand in front of your locker for much longer than was necessary, rearranging the books on the shelf for no reason aside from wanting to avoid having to resume the conversation with Archie. Eventually you walk towards the entrance of the school, slowly, but in that direction, nonetheless. You wanted to see Sweet Pea, to be around for his first day, but there was a flurry of anxiety about it in your stomach.

You see the crowd of students in the school foyer, but you could tell it wasn’t a crowd waiting to sign up for extracurriculars, it was a crowd to observe the drama that Cheryl Blossom and Reggie Mantle were hoping to stir up. You stop and lean against the wall halfway down the hallway when you hear Archie’s voice telling everyone to put the differences between the North and Southside aside. He was so ready to take that position, as long as it didn’t involve you, but when you were involved then he was acting very differently about it.

Mr.Weatherbee emerges from his office, telling everyone to get to class and dispersing the forming crowd. When you see Sweet Pea headed in your direction you push yourself off of the wall, a smile on your face. Fangs and Toni knew that you and Sweet Pea were dating, it didn’t take much work for them to figure that out after you and Sweet Pea missed half of the movie at the theatre that night and they found you holding hands in the lobby. But Jughead on the other hand, you weren’t sure if he knew or not. You had told Archie, you didn’t know if Sweet Pea had told Jughead.

You walk over to Sweet Pea, noticing the anger on his face. You had missed something, something that happened before Archie’s declaration to put differences aside. But you were determined to do what you could to make the day better. “Hey,” you say, looking over at Jughead who smiles in the way that makes you aware that he knows. Maybe he figured it out at FP’s party, watching you give Sweet Pea your phone number, maybe someone told him. Either way, it was a relief knowing that it was one less person to inform.

“Hi.” Sweet Pea reaches over and takes your hand without hesitation, making your cheeks warm up a little. Spending so long developing your relationship in secret made holding hands in a hallway full of people feel so incredibly unusual. But there was a level of validation to it, that you were together regardless of the ongoing tensions in the town, in this school hallway, between the Northside and Southside. “Your school’s really welcoming,” he comments sarcastically.

“Well, I’m glad you’re here,” you say softly, smiling at him for a moment before looking over at Toni, Fangs, and Jughead. “I’m glad you’re all here,” you add quickly.

“Y/N,” Archie’s voice calls from the hallway behind you and you unconsciously squeeze Sweet Pea’s hand tighter as anxiety fills your body.

“Did you tell him?” Sweet Pea asks as you stop walking, Sweet Pea stopping with you as his friends continue on their way to their classes.

“Yeah,” you say quietly and turn around, keeping your hand in Sweet Pea’s hand as you watch Archie jog over.

Archie’s eyes are immediately drawn to your hand connected with Sweet Pea’s, his jaw clenching at the sight. His chest heaves with an unnaturally large breath before he finally says anything. “We need to finish the conversation we were having before.”

You keep yourself as steady as you can, as unaffected by Archie’s obvious anger as you can manage. “Okay.”

Archie looks up to Sweet Pea for a second before turning his focus back onto you, gesturing to the edge of the hallway. You knew what he wanted, to talk to you away from the presence of the very person he wanted to talk to you about. But if he wanted to say something about Sweet Pea, about the Serpents, you weren’t going to make it easier on him. “What else did you have to say, Archie?”

Archie doesn’t respond immediately, looking around the hallway. There was no shortage of stares as students walked down the hallway, intrigued by the situation unfolding. “You need to at least not be so obvious about it,” Archie’s nods to your hand, still linked with Sweet Pea’s. “I don’t want you to get pulled into anything Reggie and Cheryl plan on doing.”

You can feel Sweet Pea watching you, that feeling you get when you know someone is staring without needing to actually see it. You run your thumb across his hand reassuringly. “That’s not going to happen, Archie. I’m not going to let them scare me into staying away from someone I care about, because that’s exactly what they want.”

“I’m just looking out for you, you have a perfect school record, don’t mess that up. Dad would-“

You cut Archie off before he has the chance to say anymore. The coolness of your façade starting to waver as anger eats away at it. “No, Archie. Don’t try and blame dad for your feelings. You know he wouldn’t be nearly as critical about this as you are.”

“Because he doesn’t know about the fight, doesn’t know that you’re dating a guy who brought his gang to our house,” Archie’s tone is hushed, but his hands are gesturing wildly, telling the story of his anger clearer than his tone.

“You’re right, he doesn’t know about that. But he doesn’t know about the gun, either. Step off the pedestal, Archie, you lost your moral high ground months ago,” you say quietly, stepping closer to him in hopes that nobody around would hear you mentioning the gun. “We’ve finished this conversation now.”

“Come on, let’s go find your class, can’t be late on your first day,” you say to Sweet Pea, looking up at him. You notice the smug smile on his face as he stares at Archie and before either of them has a chance to do or say anything to each other you pull on Sweet Pea’s hand, guiding him along with you and away from where Archie was standing, routed in place with a mixture of shock and anger.

The day goes by slowly, filling you with more and more anxiety until the final bell rings. The first day for the new students was officially done, it hadn’t gone well, but you hoped that meant it could only get better from here.

“Are you busy now?” Sweet Pea asks, walking up from behind you in the hallway as you put your books in your locker. His arms wrap around your waist, watching you arranging your textbooks in your locker.  

You shuffle closer to him, pressing your back flush against his body to give yourself space to close your locker door. “Not unless I’m busy with you,” you say, turning around to face him.

Sweet Pea’s hands rest on your hips, the corners of his lips curling into a smile. “Good, let’s get out of this place.”

“I know it hasn’t been a great day, but it’ll get better,” you say, smiling gently and leaning up to kiss him. “Nobody will be able to resist your cute face for long.”

Sweet Pea chuckles and reaches over, taking your hand in his and walking down the hallway beside you. His Southside Serpent jacket was in his other hand now that Weatherbee was on the hunt to take down anyone wearing gang paraphernalia. “Are things going to be okay for you at home now that Archie knows about this?”

“He’ll just have to get over it.” You walk through the door that Sweet Pea pushes open, holding it for you before following you outside. “How was your class? Are you working on the same stuff you were at Southside High?”

Sweet Pea wraps his arm around your waist as he takes up his spot walking beside you again, the door falling shut behind the two of you. “Pretty much, just in much nicer classrooms with textbooks that aren’t held together with duct tape.”

You laugh softly, glancing up at him. You hadn’t realized it was possible to be as happy as you were about a high school getting shut down. Things felt entirely normal with Sweet Pea for the first time. You wouldn’t have to lie to Archie anymore. You could walk around holding hands, didn’t have to avoid hanging out places that Archie might go. You were talking about classes, about school, and maybe that was boring, but they were completely normal things to talk about. You couldn’t deny the comfort that the normality brought you, the happiness that being with Sweet Pea without worrying about what Archie would do. Things felt like they would be okay.

Thank-you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it, even if the ending wasn’t great.

Tags: @gruffle1 @sweetpeasbabydoll  @lydiasobrien

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S3 Ep 9: So Tristan Died

Been resisting that springtime urge to buy a house plant and watch it slowly die while everyone else on my timeline posts beautiful terrariums and wallscapes. I have murdered nearly every plant I own, I have no idea why, I have killed several cacti. But I just found out about logees.com and y’all. Have you seen a rock fig? I want it so bad.

So, instead of wasting my money, I will write here and...not click buy on that rock fig. That beautiful beautiful rock shaped plant. That incredible and glorious miniature Deku Tree.

Also, this week Tumblr said that they’re extending the post limit size for text posts and like...there was a text post limit? Y’all I assumed these posts were hella long, (and in fact way, way, way too long) but like, I never capped a text post limit so...I guess I do all right.

So, switching over to Yugioh, we’re back with the Tristan-Duke-Serenity trio, who are still fighting over Serenity, the world’s most oblivious child. I haven’t gone over too much what their high and low points have been over these past like 5ish episodes but here’s what they’ve been up to, a refresher course of what they’ve been doing since Tristan drowned a Rhinoceros turtle in the lake.

1.) Serenity sneezed once and the Tristan and Duke had a big fight over who gave Serenity a cold

2.)

Sorry that’s all they’ve done. I really thought this would be a list when I started.

It’s been so boring that Serenity has decided this has been the best part of her tourney vacation (she is not wrong). And I just realized--she went to great lengths to get her eyes fixed and now she’s trapped in the VR zone and she doesn’t even need eyes to be here. Hell, if she gets trapped here, she’ll never need eyes again, she’ll have permanent perfect vision 24/7. We keep finding new alternatives instead of spending millions of dollars on Serenity’s eyes and the show kind of glazes over it.

Anyways, we learn a lot about Serenity this episode, mainly that Serenity is a little bit of a space cadet.

(Every episode Duke’s necklace is a little bit more simplified and today it is...almost just a cross. I look forward to seeing what necklace’s final form will be.)

Duke is supposed to be the antagonist of the three, but it really comes off that Tristan and Serenity have goldfish memories and somehow do not recall being launched down a hyperspace tube by five insane computer ghosts trying to consume their bodies. Most people would not forget that happening so like...it’s kinda hard not to side with Duke. Weird that the guy with such ridiculous hair is actually the most level headed person here.

And honestly, if Yugi had been speaking, then Joey and Serenity would have sobered up. Kind of a bummer that Duke doesn’t have the card cred, although Tristan was there when Duke beat Joey.

Like this episode was somewhat frustrating because Duke Devlin really is supposed to be incredibly good at cards, a kid who has only been beaten by the Pharaoh himself, and Tristan and Serenity sort of don’t believe him for some reason. Duke owns a version of the game they are playing. Like, he has ownership over Dungeon Dice and they don’t...care? It’s really weird, but it’s not like Duke has really done anything for an entire season so maybe he deserved this?

But considering that he’s been running for his life/kidnapped since they met up again 2 days ago during Kaiba’s tourney, maybe Duke just has no choice but to hang out with these people who do not respect him at all.

(read more under the cut)

Also, they’re still keeping it a secret that Duke beat Joey because...they’re still lying out of their ass for Serenity’s self esteem. It’s Season 3 and we’re still very concerned that Serenity cannot handle the truth. This girl was in a hospital for weeks and completely blind, I’m pretty sure if anyone can handle hard truths, it’s this girl. But, she’s very pretty, so better not spook her.

I am impressed that this random throwaway plot point from the beginning of S2 has come back to haunt us.

It checks out. This was about as much credentials that Joey had when he joined Pegasus’ tourney. I mean, Joey trained with Grandpa but Grandpa full on died in the middle of their training so...Tristan should have been fine this episode, he’s been interning with card people for like...years.

Anyways, this is where everyone else is.

And Noah decides to try his carrot-under-a-box trick that has so far worked on literally every child he has tried it on.

These kids cannot resist a door to save their lives--and that’s really the whole thing. If they resist the door, then boom, their lives are saved. But nah. Gotta open every door. So they enter, and behind this door is, you guessed it--their favorite place, the ever recurring supervillain of all of Yugioh,

Wow.

Anyways, the fourth of the Big 5 is here and he is a robot that’s gonna do some Russian ballet to the Nutcracker Suite.

Finally, someone who’s strong enough to safely do the ballet alongside Tea.

*I did not watch Gundam, I spent my Torrent days watching Cowboy Bebop and Love Hina and I remember none of it.*

Speaking of, Love Hina--that one probably didn’t age well, didn’t it?

Tristan just digging his own grave for no reason is basically the rest of this episode. Duke Devlin was their out. Duke Devlin has been primed to die for like a full season but then Tristan had to go and fight a giant robot like an idiot. Which is not a sentence I thought I’d be typing about Yugioh, the show about a haunted card game.

PS, I just remembered something. One sec, let me dig this up, something I wrote in S1 that at the time, when everything was about magic and soul snatching, seemed so outlandish that it would never actually happen.

I can’t believe that I predicted myself but at the same time was still just so wrong, because not only do they already have Gundams, they also are card playing Gundams.

This giant VR Gundam could just step on them, right? Like just step on them? I get that would be against Noah’s set of rules but like...

...just a little step.

And what’s even more nuts about this show, is that some things I knew going in, some things you can’t escape just living here on the internet, like Yugi being strapped to a saw at some point (I just didn’t realize it would be from...a clown and would have *such freakin large blades attached*, it was very sudden) and them dueling from the backs of motorcycles (which apparently isn’t even this show. Apparently dueling motorcycles is a spinoff and y’all...kind of disappointed by that). But Gundams? This universe is so zany that Gundams just went completely under the radar.

*this robot casually wearing a jumbo duel disc*

Faced with the reality of none of his friends ever take him seriously, Duke decides to find a weird compromise and asks for double duel. Thing is, this robot also can’t take Duke seriously, and so this super backfires.

Would it in fact simplify everyone’s dating life if we had a 1 in 3 situation? I mean it’s already a mess because we have two 3 in 1′s, but we could balance that right out with a 1 in 3. Then the math will be correct. Balance will be achieved.

And that was how Disaster Serenity sort of stumbled her way onto a dueling platform and killed her brother’s 2nd (3rd) best friend (4th if you count Joey’s rivalry with Kaiba).

Tristan, who’s job as a volunteer janitor is to clean up messes, could not clean up after this Wheeler hot mess.

This is a card now? OK. I see you, product placement. I see why you made Duke Devlin pick up a deck again. Just for this product. That’s fine. At least we did something with Duke Devlin. But we could have maybe used him at any point outside of dungeon dice monsters, ya? Like any point?

Anyway, Serenity explains that if they tell her exactly what to do, they will be fine, so the robot catches wind of this and does this move

Of course. Of course the abandoned warehouse is now full of lava.

Serenity doesn’t even know the rules since she was actually blind until yesterday. She recalls faintly that on the train Tristan told her the rules, and that there were stars on the card that line up with power or whatever. So she looks down at the card and goes “Ah! there are little stars on here!” she plays it, and she realizes that no one has ever told her that sometimes they are placed sideways. Basically Serenity playing this episode as a recently not blind woman would be like me playing cards as someone who fast forwards through all the shuffling.

It’s hard to say if it’s Serenity who caused all this or Tristan who didn’t just let Duke do his one job. Either way, Tristan will absolutely find a way to blame this on Duke until about the point Tristan dies. Between Tristan refusing to play ball with Duke Devlin who is actually a card expert and Serenity playing all of her cards the wrong direction, I’m fully ready for Tristan to die by the end of this episode. Boy had a million chances to just chill and let Duke do his thing so ya, kill him.

Anyways, here’s a desert brought to you by yellow ochre. A LOT of yellow ochre.

Was this also a background for an 80′s space anime?

At some point Nezbitt sat in a boat and watched Kaiba launch what appears to be nuclear missiles at a missile factory. Kaiba did say he needed to throw out the old and start over so like...do Marie Kondo the way you need to do that Marie Kondo thing, Kaiba. This clearly did not bring you joy.

Anyway, lets skip to the good stuff. That’s right this boy: dead because he couldn’t not.

As you all know, I’ve been looking forward to Duke Devlin dying for such a long time now. I’ve been waiting here, tapping my fingers delicately together all Mr Burns-style expecting that the only way they could possibly find a use for Duke Devlin--since they refuse to give him any cards--would be to die.

But guys. I forgot about Tristan.

(bro wants to point out that right above the dungeon dice card was the revive card that would have come in handy right about now.)

Truly unexpected, standing in between Serenity and Duke, the most killable of the Yugioh franchise, Tristan freakin died.

But most importantly, we’re getting very close to death 169 (nice). We skipped 69 proper (a shame) because *somebody* had to kill just a chunk of people at once, Kaiba. So...who’s it gonna be? Probably the Big 5 member who’s cosplaying around as a Sexy Fish? chances are good.

Anyway, if you just got here, we’re in Season 3, if you would like to start at the beginning in S1, click here to read my so many recaps of this show. I cannot believe how much Yugioh content is in this Yugioh show.

[mikotyzini]

Beach Day

Pairing: White Rose Words: 2275

Another Patreon reward!  These prompts have been seriously cute so far.

“Alllllright!” Dropping her bag on the ground, Ruby extended both hands towards the expanse of blue in front of her.  “Team RWBY beach day!  A full day of fun and relaxing and soaking up the sun!”

“It’s really nice out, too,” Blake commented while laying her beach towel out on a patch of sand.  Yang did the same (right next to Blake’s, of course), before clapping her hands together once.

“I know what we should do first!” she said, grinning at what was probably an awesome idea.  “We should race to the buoy!”

“Yes!” Ruby instantly agreed, pumping one fist in the air at the suggestion.  She was already ready to race Yang to the waves, but stopped when she saw Weiss sit down on a towel instead of joining them in the fun.

“Weiss?” she asked, watching her partner unpack her beach bag - pulling out sunglasses and a bottle of water.  “Don’t you want to race with us?”

“No, thank you.”

“Aw come on!” Yang replied.  “It’ll be fun! Fair warning though - you’ll probably lose.”  

While Yang snickered at the boast, Ruby watched Weiss for an answer.

“l don’t want to,” she said, leveling Yang with a glare.  “Go ahead without me.”

“But it’s a competition!  You love competitions!”

“Not this one.”

“How is this one different?”

“It just is.”

“But -”

“No.”

While the two volleyed words back and forth, Ruby watched like someone sitting in the stands at a tennis match.  The contest ended in a weird stalemate that neither she nor Yang understood - because they loved racing to the buoy!  It was something they did every time they came to the beach, even though Yang always won.

Eventually, Yang gave up and shrugged - forfeiting the argument.  Meanwhile, Weiss huffed and pulled her scroll out of her bag.

The two of them had these mini-arguments pretty often, but this one felt different than the others.  Sure, Weiss could be difficult and stubborn, and she wouldn’t do anything she didn’t want to do, but her resistance this time was...weird.  That’s the only way Ruby could describe it.

“What do you think, Ruby?” Yang asked.  “Wanna race?”

When Weiss huffed again, voicing her displeasure about something, Ruby scrambled to think of an alternative plan for the day.  She wanted everyone to have a good time!  Which meant she needed to figure out why Weiss wasn’t having a good time.

Best Partner Duties coming right up!

“l wanna get a snowcone first!” she answered, spotting the cart nearby and pointing towards it.  “Then we’ll race!”

Glancing over her shoulder and spotting the snow cone cart, Yang shrugged again and grinned.  “Sounds good.  Get me an orange one?”

“Sure!  Blake - do you want one?”

Before answering, Blake looked at Yang - who nodded enthusiastically.

“Might as well try one,” she finally answered.  

“They’re great - I promise!” Ruby added for extra-convincing power.  “What flavor?  They have strawberry, watermelon, raspberry, blue raspberry - although I’m not sure how they taste different - regular melon, blueberry -”

“Orange,” Blake interrupted before Ruby could rattle off the entire list.  “I’ll try an orange one, too.”

Giving Blake a thumbs up, Ruby was silently grateful it was an easy order to remember.  Turning around, she smiled at Weiss.

“Can you come with me?” she asked.  “I can’t carry all those by myself.”

“Of course.”  

Immediately putting her scroll away, Weiss stood up and smiled.  

See?  This was what made Weiss’ earlier resistance so weird!  She was usually pretty willing to participate when Ruby asked.  So, like...why wouldn’t she race to the bouy?  That’s what Ruby was going to find out!  Because Weiss wouldn’t tell Yang, but she had to tell Ruby the truth - that was part of a promise she’d made.

“Are you excited for a day off?” Ruby asked, waiting for Weiss to reach her so they could walk side-by-side over to the snow cone vendor.

“Of course.  It’s nice to relax for a day.”

“Yeah, absolutely!”  Hopping with that answer, Ruby then settled into a normal walk and snuck a glance at Weiss as they joined the back of the line to order.

“So, uh...what do you have against racing to the buoy?”

Weiss sighed at the question.

“I’m guessing that if I try to avoid answering that, you’ll pout and point out the first rule of our ‘best partner’ agreement?”

“You know it!”

Weiss sighed again, but she didn’t seem too upset by the response.  This was why they’d made the Best Partner Agreement, after all!  For times like these - when one of them didn’t want to say something potentially embarrassing and the other really, really wanted to know.

And to grow closer as partners and stuff like that…

“Ok,” Weiss said, looking slightly hesitant.  “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Of course!”

Ruby loved Weiss’ secrets.  It made her feel so special that Weiss trusted her with such important information!  And boy did she have some humdingers!  Like how -

Well, those were secrets.  Ruby kept them locked away in a special vault in her mind, but she loved adding new ones!

“Ok, well...”

Pausing for a second, Weiss glanced around in search of anyone eavesdropping on their conversation.  Finding no one to be concerned about, she still dropped her voice to a whisper.

“I kind of...can’t swim.”

“You - what?  Really?”

Had Ruby heard that right?  Weiss Schnee - the girl who could do literally anything - couldn’t swim?  

“What’ll you two ladies have?” the snow cone man broke in, glancing between the two of them while waiting for their order.

“Oh, uhhh…”  Racking her brain, Ruby searched for what Blake and Yang had asked for.

“They both wanted orange,” Weiss gently reminded her.

“Right!  Two oranges and - can you make one that’s half raspberry and half blue-raspberry?”

When the man nodded, Ruby grinned and turned to the side so Weiss could order.

“I’m fine, thank you,” she replied, waving the man off but pulling a ten Lien note from her wallet.

“Aww Weiss!  You don’t have to pay!”

“I’d like to,” Weiss replied, leveling Ruby with an expression she hadn’t yet figured out a way to say ‘no’ to.

“Okk…” she said instead, then smiled when two orange piles of shaved ice appeared in the holding stand in front of them.  A half red, half blue snow cone appeared seconds later, which she picked up and took a big bite of while Weiss paid.

“They do taste different!” Ruby exclaimed, staring at the cone in her hand before taking another bite.

“Are you sure?”  Giving Ruby a teasing smile, Weiss picked up Blake and Yang’s to carry back to their teammates.

“Pretty sure!  The blue one is more...blue-y…”

Weiss’ musical laugh put a smile on Ruby’s face in a heartbeat.  And with a considerable amount of good cheer, Ruby decided she was getting to the bottom of Weiss’ unhappiness with the beach - and solving it!  

“So...about that swimming thing?”

“It never came up, so I never learned,” Weiss replied with a Yang-esque shrug.  “It’s not a huge deal.  Just...is.”

With that simple answer out in the open, Weiss walked over to their teammates and distributed the orange snow cones before sitting down on her towel.  Nearly finished with her own, Ruby watched Weiss’ demeanor and tried to figure out why she was still bothered by the situation even though she knew the answer.

Maybe it was because Weiss seemed...almost sad?  Embarrassed?  Disappointed? She was really hard on herself when she did something wrong - like missing a question on a test or missing one of their team moves.  Was she being hard on herself for not knowing how to swim?  

That was fixable!  Being a super team leader and partner-extraordinaire, Ruby could figure out a way to teach Weiss how to swim and keep her secret safe.  Right?  She totally could.

Turning in a slow circle, she searched the beach for ideas that could help her accomplish her goal.  There was a lot going on, so there had to be something she could use.  Snow cone man, joggers, sunbathers, umbrellas, surfers, two people carrying a kayak, some kids building a sand castle -

An idea popped into her mind - and it only took the rest of her snow cone for a plan to form.

“I’ll be right back!” she told her team before bounding over to the two kids playing in the wet sand near the waves.

“Hey guys!” she said, capturing the attentions of a little boy and girl who must be around seven - a.k.a. the best age to be.  “How’s it going?”

“Goooood!” they responded in near unison.

“I love your castle!” she added, pointing towards a big pile of sand without any smooth walls.  “It looks like an ant king lives here or something.”

“Yeah!” the little boy said, grinning at the idea.  “An ant king and his ant soldiers!”

“And a butterfly queen!” the little girl added with a smile.

Chuckling at the response, Ruby glanced at her teammates and found Weiss watching her.

“Uh, so I was wondering if you two could help me with something!” she said, smiling at the two eager kids in front of her.  “Do you know how to swim?”

When both of them nodded, she grinned.

“That’s great!  But can you pretend you don’t know how to swim for a little bit?  If you do, I’ll give you twenty Lien!”

From the way their eyes widened, she could’ve just offered them a million Lien.  She hadn’t, because she wasn’t rich.  But fortunately, their little kid minds readily agreed.

“Yeah?” she asked, getting several more enthusiastic nods.  “Ok, go tell your parents, then meet me by the water!”

Abandoning their plastic shovels and pails at the ant-castle, the two kids ran off to inform their parents while Ruby hurried back to her teammates.

“Hey guys!” she called out when she was within earshot.  “Come on!  You’ve gotta come with me!!”

“What?” Blake asked, marking her place in her book with one finger.  “Why?”

“I can’t tell you right now,” Ruby fibbed.  “But I have a great idea - I know you’ll like it!”

Blake narrowed her eyes - silently saying she didn’t quite believe those words - but her gaze drifted to the side when Yang popped to her feet.

“I’m in for the mystery challenge!” she said, raising her hand to give Ruby a high-five.

“Yes!” Ruby replied, slapping Yang’s hand and grinning at the current success of her plan.  With Yang’s agreement, Blake would agree next.  And Weiss wouldn’t want to be left out, so…

“I suppose I’ll join you,” Weiss said, pushing herself up from her beach towel.  “Where are we going?”

“To the water!” Ruby declared, pointing towards the ocean.  

Yang and Blake headed that way without a second thought, but Weiss grabbed Ruby’s elbow before she could follow.

“Ruby -”

“Don’t worry, Weiss,” Ruby replied, winking at her partner.  “Your secret’s safe with me!”

Weiss was reluctant, but she followed Ruby regardless.  Together, they met up with Yang and Blake at the edge of the beach - where the waves started washing over their ankles.  Turning to the side, Ruby grinned when she saw the two little kids racing down the sand to them.

“I had a great idea!” Ruby said while the kids careered to a stop by her side.  “I thought we’d teach these guys how to swim!  Right?”

When she looked down at her willing participants, they obediently nodded and smiled.

“That sounds like fun!” Yang replied, kneeling down in front of the kids.  “You guys want to be on Team Yang, right?  Cuz I’m the best swimmer.”

“Yeah!” both agreed, making Yang look up at Blake with a grin.

“You two help them,” Ruby directed, pointing between her teammates and the kids.  “Weiss and I will demonstrate!”

When everyone nodded in agreement, Ruby led them out in the shallows - where the water came up to about their stomachs and a little past the elbows of the kids.  

“Ok, so it’s real easy!” she said.  “We’ll hold you up in the water, and you move your arms like this -” she made a windmilling gesture with both arms.  “While kicking your feet up and down!  Watch!”

Motioning for Weiss to hold her arms out, Ruby leaned forward onto her partner’s outstretched arms, dunked her head into the water, then started rowing her arms and kicking her feet like she’d just shown them.  After doing that for a few moments, she stood up and wiped the water out of her eyes.

“Now you guys try!” she said, grinning at her enthusiastic disciples.

The little boy and girl practically dove into Blake and Yang’s arms before kicking up a storm - splashing water everywhere while Yang laughed and Blake smiled in amusement.  Meanwhile, Ruby held out her arms for Weiss.

“You too, Weiss!  You can’t make me do all the demonstrations by myself!”

When Weiss looked at her - clearly figuring out the entire plan at that moment - Ruby grinned.  Weiss smiled in return, then leaned forward and kissed Ruby on the cheek.

“You’re the best partner I could’ve asked for,” Weiss whispered before laying down in Ruby’s arms as instructed.

Stunned by the response, which was way more appreciative than Ruby had expected, she held Weiss steady while she kicked and rowed her arms.

Ruby was just doing what any good partner would do, so it was no big deal, really!  But good thing they were standing in water, because her cheeks were on fire.

[megatentious]

Megami Tensei where u at??

When you are down in the dumps about your favorite video game franchise and the future of a series that is special for you, sometimes you end up seeking it out in places that are … unexpected. I’m going to talk about how, over the last couple years, I ended up seeing three different flavors of Megami Tensei in three different games, and maybe by the end of this we can all end up feeling like it’s okay to move on with our lives. Just keep telling yourself that your favorite games are not your identity and it’s not that serious bruh but also tell yourself that it is therapeutic to collect many paragraphs of thoughts you have had about this to write at length about in your blog.

First up is a game that many many people have noticed is very Megaten and that is the Digimon RPG, Digimon Story: Cyber Sleuth. There was no reason at all for this to be as good of a game as it is. I have no special affinity for the cartoon show. I do not like the Devil Survivor character designer even a little bit. I do not find grinding and monster collecting for the sake of monster collecting entertaining. But from the very first trailer something seemed compelling, and as good word of mouth spread I decided this was going to be a game I needed to play.

Again, everyone has already commented on how Megaten this game feels, and for me the closest specific analogue is actually Raidou Kuzunoha. From the first extended trailer I noticed the jazzy main theme, the detective agency conceit, the visible partner monsters appearing in a Tokyo with bold camera angle choices, and felt a weird familiarity. Digimon also function very plainly as Megami Tensei demons in multiple ways, not only mechanically but also through their story roles. And the somewhat arcane stat manipulation needed for high-end Digivolving scratches the exact same itch as high-end Megaten fusion from previous SMT iterations, which is both a dangerous (100 hours of playtime good lord) and wonderful (100 hours of playtime good lord!) itch to scratch.

You need to put up with some annoying characters and prattling dialogue, but unlike other games there is no pretense here which absolutely helps. Also, re-interpreting traditional Japanese folklore through the lens of the Digimon world is something that never stopped being fascinating for me even amidst a sub-par localization, and as someone with low familiarity with the cartoon, the Digimon designs themselves were alternately hilariously bizarre, bafflingly stupid, and straight up awesome. They even have their own Lucifer! 

By the time you get to the second half of the story where the game completely changes and becomes about alliances and faction-building and what happens to a city facing apocalypse, when you take in the incredible atmosphere in Odaiba all buoyed by a soundtrack that has no right to be as good as it is, you start to feel optimistic about how Megaten influence can live on even outside of the series itself.

Next up is an entry from another series that is occasionally compared to SMT, but this one in particular feels like it was only played by two or three people at all when it was miraculously released earlier in 2019 for the Nintendo 3DS. I’m talking about Yokai Watch 3. Arriving close to three years after its initial Japanese release to utterly resounding indifference, this game’s hook is that you get to play in “America,” but as you can tell from the quotes around America this is actually much more complicated than it seems in a way that specifically draws comparison to my beloved Revelations: Persona. You see, the very Japanese Yokai Watch series city location of Sakura New Town, Japon, was localized here for us as Springdale, Springdale back in the first game. This decision has led to many wonderful incongruities moving forward that are honestly identical to those in the Lunarvale of Revelations: Persona. Gotta love these small American towns with Shinto temples in em!

With Yokai Watch 3’s plot focusing on the family moving to actual America though, and the cross-cultural hijinks that are meant to ensue, things quickly get even weirder and more strained. Protagonist Nate Adams complains about the difficulty of understanding southern accents while slurping down sukiyaki. Shopkeepers with tempura-based hairstyles serve traditional Japanese dishes in the quaint American township of St. Peanutsburg. Huge timezone differences between America and “America” are introduced. And all of this is refracted through the even more convoluted localization prism of this game about two versions of America being scripted by the British, leading to children aspiring to be “basketballers” and restaurants having “oriental” atmosphere.

I’m barely scratching the surface of the dissertation-worthy unpacking needed for all of this, and it’s difficult to describe just how deeply weird the vibe can get in this game. In just the first twenty minutes of Yokai Watch 3, you have 1) a purely nutso anime opening featuring scary demonic folklore-based yokai, robots, and cat mascots 2) Mulder and Scully very seriously discussing mysterious “Y Files” 3) a rhythm game where your very American family devours an enormous amount of sukiyaki 4) the same very American (or in the game’s terms, “Springdalian”) family leaving their home to move to the state? country? of “BBQ” and 5) suddenly you are an otaku girl going to a figure shop in “Sparkopolis.” This is just as delirious as it sounds.

Revelations Persona’s uncanny America atmosphere may be one of a kind, but Yokai Watch 3’s frequently insane scenarios can sometimes recall a similar sort of lunacy that leads you to end up fighting a giant mechanical rat while a song with the track name “Child Abuse” plays, or chatting up a populace of mole-covered rainbow afro’d citizens in a locked down mall. At one point after returning from one of Yokai Watch 3’s various alternate dream worlds (very Persona!) my game was even afflicted with a commonly reported glitch that caused the environmental textures to not load, leading to a flat polygon world and some authentic PSX Lunarvale vibes. Throw in all the folktales and mythology involved in the yokai themselves and straight up demon fusion in a cathedral and suddenly you’ll end up experiencing more Megaten than you’d ever expect to see in an RPG targeted to young children.

Last up is an all-time classic that actually predates Shin Megami Tensei entirely, making it temporally impossible for any influence to show up, which muddles the entire concept of this essay but please roll with it you guys this is just how I feel. I’m talking about the seminal Phantasy Star, for the Master System, which I played through M2’s loving, impeccable SEGA AGES port on Switch. This game, which was released in 1987, is simply incredible. Right off the bat you’ve got genius-level programming from Yu Suzuki himself, which allowed for the first person dungeons to scroll so smoothly that posting a snippet of directly captured footage from the game can still lead to semi-viral tweets. It’s these extremely cool boldly colored first person dungeons, along with the expansive feeling of the several worlds you visit that led me to feel some of the spirit of Megami Tensei 2 specifically in this game.

“oops i accidentally phantasy starred for four hours” is how I put it playing through this game for the first time, and it’s a given that a non-fantasy setting RPG where you can talk to the monsters would be appealing to me. Phantasy Star as a series was in fact deliberately conceptualized as a rebellion against the many fantasy RPGs of the time, and the developers have talked about this in a way that is practically identical to early staff interviews about the goals for Megami Tensei. Director and gaming luminary Rieko Kodama has remarked that the choice of a female protagonist was also considered rebellious, even though it felt like a natural choice for her on a personal level.

Megami Tensei 2 is the game that builds the structure for Shin Megami Tensei as we know it today, moving away from Megami Tensei 1’s single full-game dungeon format to a world map with numerous discrete dungeons and eventually, paths to alternate worlds. Phantasy Star shares this exact design format, which still feels so expansive and impressive to this day. It’s a treat to get to experience a game like this over 30 years after its release on current hardware and still feel such an impact, and all of you need to go out and buy buy buy this game, seriously give M2 your money.

I’ve taken it as a given that everyone shares my perspective on where Shin Megami Tensei is at these days as a series, and it’s obviously never a good look to come across as an over-dramatic scolding bitter old who has retreated into pure irrelevance. But by documenting all of these observations down for myself, I can at least feel better about finding bits and pieces of various Megaten strains in the games of today. The lesson learned is that even if you feel your favorite franchise has lost its way, you may be able to find parts of it in the places you least expect.

[early-sxnsets]

Evolution Killed It All

Archive Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15909690/chapters/37678574

Chapter 6/16 of Love You All, Die For This

Word Count: 2131

Chapter Summary: Family isn't quite generations of blood coming together with swarms of people. Family, sometimes, is an aunt, her nephew, and his husband getting piss-drunk over Christmas. In fact, family's rarely ever just flesh and blood; it's usually who you accept and love.

Notes: thank you to @jessethejoyful for quick scanning this ! this isn’t the last appearance of fiona in the fic, btw! (god, i hope i did her justice; fingers crossed) also cw: alcohol use

FIONA

Suppose I’d say The Chosen One’s grown on me over the years. It’d be a lie if I said I wouldn’t give the world for this little shit. The way Baz looks at him? Forget it. There’s no fuckin’ way I could hold anything against him in the long-run (especially after he offed The Mage; got good marks in my books after that).

When Baz asked me to be his ‘Best Aunt’ for their wedding, I nearly shed a tear for them. Nearly. Sure, I just gave a hearty thumbs up, but it was the best I could do without spilling tears over shit that fucked me more than it should’ve. Felt fucked to have me as the only viable family there, although, granted, most of the wedding party was the Bunce family.

But I’m honored to be their only “real” family. It makes the holidays wicked; one year, I beat out Simon in shots (although, it was by default. You lose if you break my fucking coffee table.) They’ve become the kids I never made the effort in raising, but with all the perks of somebody to complain to while they bring you fancy shit at Christmas.

Although, today was vastly different than the past few years. Not to say it wasn’t cheerful at times, but it wasn’t exactly what I'd consider ‘festive’.

Sure, I know about the fight and the whole baby thing, whatever the fuck’s going on there.

I know too well that trying is probably going to get them nowhere, but hell, they wouldn’t want to hear it. After all, I didn’t have the heart to break it to them during their dinner discussion tonight.

Or their after-dinner discussion.

Or their discussion during Die Hard.

Where I’m getting at it is I got tired of them talking and told them to go to bed because we had to prep for all the Chinese takeout we’d eat the next day while getting shitfaced with spiked eggnog.

Even then, a few hours of silence didn’t prepare me for a 1 am cup of water I walked into the kitchen for, only to find Simon downing a glass of whiskey (from my cheapest bottle; how considerate).

“Oi,” I mutter, smirking in the slightest as my eyebrow quirks up. “Pace yourself; don’t wanna puke in the sink again, do you?”

His eyes flicker up to mine as he sighs and lowers them again, reaching for the bottle despite my commentary. He pours it slowly; it’s a good mouthful worth. “Sorry,” he whispers pathetically, rubbing his face as he continues, “I just… dunno. Couldn’t sleep, didn’t want to feel anymore.”

“Huh. Couldn’t tell,” I quip, dragging out a seat and across from him. I grab my pack off the table, hitting it against my palm before taking out a fag and holding it carefully between my lips as I use my wand to light it. Simon keeps his eyes down.

“Do you know anything about this… vampire baby shit? How it works?” he asks after moments of deafening silence.

Didn't expect him to braven up and ask me already. Doesn’t shock me, though. Figured he’d let it eat him alive for a day or two before breaking. Stubborn one, this kid. “Do you wanna know?”

He pauses. “I…” he trails, staring into the brownish liquid in my obviously pristine plastic cup that was half melted in the dishwasher a year or so back. “Yes. Yeah, I do. At least, I think so.”

It takes a moment, as I drag in my cigarette before exhaling and sighing. He comes off confident enough vocally, but he doesn’t seem it at a glance. Kid looks looks scared to hell. “I know how hard you two have been trying, but I’ve never seen it happen, kiddo.” I take another drag, watching him squirm in his seat. He downs the whiskey with a scrunched nose and sharp exhale following. I let him have that moment in peace. “It doesn’t seem to happen much in nature. Hell, doesn’t seem to happen much at all. They’re their own breed of creatures, and a diminishing one at that. If anything is to happen, it’s a bloody miracle. Crowley, the whole vampire-Mage combination is unheard of unless they were turned, and I wonder if it’s like that for a reason.”

His face doesn’t really drop, but it falters in the slightest. He reacts with just a solemn nod before he pours himself another gulp, which just makes me chuckle. “Pass me the bottle? You two are depressing me.”

I receive a half-hearted smile as he passes it over, to which I just unscrew the cap and take a hearty swig, letting it burn my insides before coughing a little. “Shit’s not the best, kid.”

“It gets the job done,” Simon mumbles, voice barely breaking over the nightlife downstairs. A hand of his raises, scratching his chest before dropping back to his sides.

It’s sort of haunting to watch him; his wings fold over his shoulders in a matching hunch, shadowing over his body. He looks like a corpse. Maybe he is a corpse, beyond the magick-drained flesh and blood.

“It might get the job done,” I let out, pulling myself to my feet as I slowly let in another drag, letting it blow through my nose in an exhale. “But I have better shit for the holidays.”

There’s a pause before he chuckles, shrugging. “Yeah, sure. Sounds good.”

The gentle sound of clinking bottles fills the air as I grab the nice shit I have post-its on just saying “FOR FESTIVE FIONA”. I set it between us after pulling off the top and having a nice mouthful, shaking my head a bit and coughing. “Fuck. Alright, nice.”

Snow reaches for it after me, filling a cup as if he’s some proper shit (probably something Baz has scolded him for; he gets on me about it too sometimes, but then I call him Little Squirt or just Dumb-ass and he shuts up). Before taking an extended sip, he stares down into it, seeming to contemplate something.

He scoffs out a soft groan after, sinking deeper into his seat. Something in me smiles, watching him. Gets me to brave a shot at making him smile. “I can try and steal a magick baby for ya. I’m a quick little fucker; they’ll never see me comin’. Just nick it outta the NICU before they even notice.” It makes me feel a little lighter when he laughs, like the room just lost 20kg. “Hell, I’ll steal a wand while I’m at it.”

Snow keeps laughing, curling over into himself a bit as he wobbles to the side, throwing me half off to thinking he’ll lean right out of my chair and break the damn thing. I finish my cigarette, watching him.

He doesn’t though, catching himself on the table. “I think we’re fine, but I’ll keep the offer in mind,” he giggles, pulling himself back up shakily. His curls shake a bit when he laughs, bouncing with his head.

It dies down, and he’s awfully quiet again, lip pulled inward to his mouth as he thinks. I give him a nudge with my foot, gently kicking his shin. “Oi, kid, talk to me. What’s on your mind?”

He lolls his head back a little, shrugging his shoulders up as his arms wrap comfortingly around his middle. He sighs, chest deflating slowly. “Dunno. Some shit.”

“And I’ve got all night,” I say gently, lips upturning. Don’t know if it’s comforting or not, but he gives me a smile back.

“‘S silly ‘n not a big deal. Just… me being stupid, that’s all. My therapist says this is just that part of my brain that doesn’t like me talkin’. Saying shit I don’t wanna hear but think I deserve.” He shifts his body more upright, trying to hold himself more properly now. His slump doesn’t help much. “I’m just… pathetic.”

I scoff, knitting my eyebrows together as I eye him. The kid’s anything but pathetic. “You do shit with your life,” I say as gently as manageable. He needs a parent right now, and I’ve never been the best alternative for one, but hell, I’ll give it a shot. “Don’t ya? Baz loves you to death, you’re working a good samaritan job that helps people, Merlin, you saved the magickal world, didn’t you?” He just shrugs. “Look, what’s makin’ you think that?”

“I can’t… give Baz what he deserves.”

I cock a brow at him, and I watch the corner of his mouth upturn. I still blink. “What?”

He shakes away whatever’s on his mind, a hand lifting and scrubbing his face. “He deserves a usual, mage’s life. He didn’t deserve a broken husband. He… keeps staying, he comes back to me, and he doesn’t deserve the shit I give him.” A broke chuckle slips through, hand covering his face from the glaring kitchen light. “Fuck. He deserves the world, and I’m his biggest mistake.”

I can’t help but laugh. Crowley knows it’s the worst reaction, but I grab the bottle, laugh, and take the biggest chug I can manage before practically slamming it back down. “Merlin, Simon, do you know how much that isn’t true?”

I can barely see his wringing hands, and I have no clue wherever he’s looking, but the kid looks overwhelmed. “But… I…”

“No, no he loves you. More than the whole goddamn world. Fucking Merlin and Morgana, Baz sees you as everything. Do you know how many nights he’d stay up and tell me it’d be you or nothing after you got together? Too many. The boy loves you more than the ground loves dirt.”

Snow shifts a little in his seat. “But… he…”

“Look,” I mumble, swaying forward in my seat. “You’re his world. I know it sounds like nothing, but I’m basically the only other person he talks to, so you gotta listen to me. He fucking loves you.”

He swallows, loud enough for me to hear, before nodding. “Thank you,” he lets out.

I nod, resting my elbows on the table and crossing my arms in the slightest. “Mmmhm. And I’m gonna give you some advice, and I think you should really listen if you actually wanna be fucking happy.” The way he nods makes me feel like a wise-man, so I let it fuel me to continue. “Kids aren’t everything. Sure, they seem great, but they’re the biggest fuckin’ stress you’ll ever see. They’re loud, they’re messy, they fuck with your shit and don’t say sorry. They’re a pain in the arse and you can’t just toss ‘em aside afterwards. There’s a reason I never had one of my own, especially after helpin’ out with Baz here and there. It’s too much stress, and look at you. You’re stressed, and you don’t even got one yet.”

“Don’t rush into something when the world isn’t giving you what you want immediately. You guys ready for a baby? The world might give you a little sack of shit. Until then, don’t wear yourself out over something you can’t control. If you wanna try, then try. If not, just tell him that you love him and some other sweet shit, and you’ll both be fine without it. Okay?”

He sort of stares at me and I think I get what Basil means when he says he can feel the kid thinking. It shows on his face; he narrows his eyebrows in and mulls over every word like it's some prophecy to follow for the rest of his life. Makes me feel like my words fucking matter, which feels sort of nice. “I… uh… yeah. Fuck. I, uh, I needed to hear that,” he mumbles under his breath, hands running back over his face a few times. “Fuck. Thank you.”

I smile slightly, tipping my head up for a nod. “Promise me somethin’, alright?”

“Mhm?”

“Give it up soon, if it doesn’t just happen.”

He pauses, leaned back in the seat as his head tilts up. He stares at the popcorned ceiling, chewing on his lip. He breaks the silence after minutes. “Okay,” he gives in, hands coming to his face to rub. “Yeah… I’m… we… yeah. I’ll talk to him. We’ll talk about that.”

I exhale slowly, smiling as my head rests on the table. “Alright. Mhm. Now, go to bed, kid. We’ve got festivities in the morning.”

“Are those festivities more drinking?”

I click my tongue, aiming finger guns at him halfheartedly. “You’ve got it.”

He chuckles lightly, body hauling up and stumbling out of the seat. I’d offer him help, but I don’t have the energy in me. We mumble goodnights, and he heads off to his bedroom.

I smile a little to myself. They’ll be fine.