#gotta get all that ganja

[angelicartemis]

Italian funny 😁

YEAAAAA THOSE TYPES OF PLASTIC BUBBLES!!

I went crazy with them as a child, the smell was always weird though- I could get high off of it 💀 /j

Also LET'S GOOOO BUBBLE CIGAR!!! I wouldn't wanna stop making bubbles man, I'd be an addict 😔

You'd have to yoink the thing away from me, tee hee

OH AND THIS IS STUPID, BUT IF NO SMOKING, THEN WHAT ABOUT...

I actually have no idea if she'd even want to try one, but I mean hey it ain't smokin, that's for sure- 👁

WO don't plunge me into the ground please 🥺🙏

a friend was made on the playground

Also, Music Man also has a bubble cigar, less as a funny novelty but because for some reason, i think she has an affinity for spheres, bubbles and marbles in particular

Idk if I've mentioned the Roundness Fixation but the whole fact you're able to fish her out of a ballpit inspired this

The Willing Organism def goes in depth with this with the fact that since she's out of the pizzeria, the world is now her oyster and she can fuck around and indulge in this. She collects/steals many marbles, she is currently learning glassblowing to make more (putting her new lungs to USE), she has jars of orbeez and sea marbles and she will show you her isopods' enclosures.

bonus peshino

fun fact i actually barely know anything about pizza tower. i initially didnt even know it was a game, i thought we were just making fun of italians again and then i found out that Peppino Spaghetti is in fact an actual character and i am now accustomed to and aware of most of the characters in the game

[xx-bossman-xx]

What the world needs is people like me

To keep it all spinnin' around

I'm the mover, I'm the shaker, I'm the headline-maker

Hmm, I get up

I get up

And no one's gonna keep me down

Okay, it's clear, I'm the top of this class

These folks here, well, they pump the gas

Fetch me a coffee, shine my shoes

Some of us are winners, some were born to lose

You got the sandwich artist, the security guard

The Walmart greeter with an overdrawn credit card

He smokes ganja, ooh, it's so groovy

To stay at home and watch a transformer movie

She serves me coke and a medium fries

And no, thanks, I don't want it supersized

'Cause that's low-class, diabetes in a cup

Keep your head down, and things will look up

What the world needs is people like me

To keep it all spinnin' around

I'm the mover, I'm the shaker, I'm the headline-maker

Hmm, I get up (she gets up)

I get up

And no one's gonna keep me down

Seriously?

This one here, he's rarin' to fail

He'll rob a 7-11 and go straight to jail

Maybe steal hubcaps, maybe steal booze

Expressing himself with his homemade tattoos

Soccer mom, minivan

Four little brats, no steady man

Do we really need another organ donor?

Maybe that was a little harsh, love you!

Oh, Pokémon, spider-man?

This kid doesn't have an attention span

And what's he gonna do, solve a rubik's cube?

How long's he got if we feed him through a tube?

What the world needs is people like me

To keep it all spinnin' around

I'm the mover, I'm the shaker, I'm the headline-maker

Hmm, I get up (she gets up)

I get up

And no one's gonna keep me down

And as we move through life to find our place in the crowd

Some don't make the cut, that's crystal clear-o (oh yes, oh yes)

Oh, isn't someone keeping score? I gotta say this out loud

I mean, do we really need another zero?

Or zero? Or zero?

Or zero? Or zero?

Add 'em all up, and you'll still get zero

What you really need is a fother muckin' hero

And oh, oh

He'll never learn to read

And oh, oh

He's never gonna breed

And oh, oh

Going to jail guaranteed

And she's a freaky monster

Yes, there's a problem, I'm the solution

Darwin had a theory called: Evolution

He put it into words, but it's plain to see

We need a little less of them, a little more of me

What the world needs is people like me (we can't all be heroes, no)

To keep it all spinnin' around (most of us, zero-ohs)

I'm the mover, I'm the shaker, I'm the headline-maker (some fly high)

She gets up (she gets up)

She gets up

What the world needs is people like me (we can't all be heroes, no)

To keep it all spinnin' around (most of us, zero-ohs)

I'm the mover, I'm the shaker, I'm the headline-maker (some fly high)

She gets up (she gets up)

She gets up

And no one's gonna keep me down (some stay down)

Down!

YOU GET IT ANON!

[medics-secret-shipfic-folder]

TF2 + Snapcube Sonic Real-time Fandub Quotes

This is mainly just Cheavy with Eggman's lines.

Sniper, holding a bar of Australium: Do you know where the closest Hot Topic is?

Scout: Hey! Put that down! That's an expensive gold bar!

Sniper: GOLD DOESN'T GLOW, DICKNIPS!

-

Cheavy: *loud sigh* I miss my Medic, Frankenstein. I miss him a lot. I'll be back.

Medic: ???????????

-

Cheavy, to the RED team in New Zealand: It seems you bitches have come to a standstill in fuckin' Atlantis. You have 13 seconds before the island fucking explodes you Hot-Topic wannabe and you red-gumball sons-of-bitches! You have done nothing but ruin my life and I hope you all DIE!

-

Soldier: HOW THE FUCK DID WE GET TO EGYPT!?

-

Cheavy: Hey bitches! Didn't expect to see me, did ya?

Medic: Oh hey, Cheavy. Some weird guy named Gray-

Cheavy: Frankenstein, I have had enough of you! You took my Medic, you fucked my crops - I'm taking your life! AND THE AUSTRALIUM!

-

Engie: Hey, Medic, I have a question. Can you please explain to me how you fuck crops?

-

Spy: Scout, listen to me! I know who your father is! (dies)

Scout: DON'T YOU FUCKING LIE TO ME!

-

Cheavy: Get the fuck out or i'm shooting your Medic in the fucking face! I swear to god! I'll do it, you bitch! GET OUT!

-

Cheavy: Well honey your mascara is on fleek but we gotta get the fuck outta here cause the building's about to explode - RED STRIPES!? JET BOOTS!? OH MY GOD-

Medic: Don't worry, I can fly! This'll never be brought up again!

-

Cheavy: Frankenstein, please join me by my side and we'll rule the Earth together! You can stand by me even though I can't see SHIT through these fucking goggles-

Medic: No, because you're old.

Cheavy:

Medic: lol get rekt you old scrub-man. Anyways I'm gonna go fuck your Medic now.

Cheavy: WHAT!? You're not allowed to fuck my Medic! FRANKENSTEIN! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE! FRANKENSTEIN! WHAT THE FUCK-

-

Cheavy: Now, to try to log onto my Twitter once more. Lets see if this computer works...

Computer: *welcome to Twitter.com*

Cheavy: *gasp* Doc! What have you been tweeting about...WHAT THE FUCK!? IS THAT FRANKENSTEIN'S DICK!?

Medic over the news: Hah! I fucked your Medic! Now if you'll excuse me, I've got other bitches to get into bed with. Isn't that right...uh, the Classic Medic? I'm sorry I don't know what to call you-

Cheavy: WHAT IN THE SAM HILL IS THIS-

-

Cheavy: I'M BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN!? OH MY GOD-

-

Cheavy: I told you not to fuck my Medic!

Medic: And I did anyway! What're you gonna do about it, bitch?

-

Cheavy: Alright, since the RED team fucked my Medic, I need both of you as part of my team!

Bea: I mean, I guess that's fine. As long as I get my weed back, I don't care.

Cspy: I don't have a character motive.

Cheavy: Listen! We are going to explore this island and find Sniper! He has all the weed that you need! That ganja, that mary jane - MARAJAMIJ! All in his pockets! He is your local drug dealer and I am gonna blow up this island! Now go look for him, and hurry up!

-

Cheavy: What are you two FUCKING talking about!?

-

Heavy: I fucked your Medic. He's mine now.

Cheavy: WHAT IN THE ACTUAL SHIT-

-

Cheavy: I've come to make an announcement! FRANKENSTEIN IS A BITCH-ASS MOTHERFUCKER-

-

Medic: Oh hey look, it's Sniper. Hopefully he didn't hear me call his name. *calls Heavy* Hey, Heavy?

Heavy: What's up, baby?

Medic: I found Sniper. He's dead. You want me to punish him?

Heavy: No, don't do that. He's already dead.

Cheavy: WHY IS YOUR HEAVY ON THE SAME LINE AS THE VILLAIN LINE!?

-

Cheavy: WHO POSTED MY NUDES ON TWITTER.COM!?

-

Miss Pauling: I have this manual on how to hack into the Twitter headquarters just so I can post it to the whole world! So you better hurry up with your explanation before I just do it!

Medic: It looks like every Tetris block at once!

Cheavy, over the radio: HAVE YOU BEEN FUCKING TALKING ABOUT MY DICK AGAIN!? ON GOD, WHEN I SEE YOU AGAIN IT IS ON SIGHT! IT IS ON SIGHT-

Medic: Piss off. *hangs up* Anyways, begone thot.

[passifloramoonlight]

11.11

Simmering in the energy of death and retribution today I realize the Abyss is my brother and he is the King of the Abyss. We pray and sing. We read psalms. Im Isis and her Seven Scorpios. Im covered in this energy and protected.

When I pray, heat comes from my body and my left arm. I feel the cracks barely hanging there resisting but its the energy of love. It must come through. Ganja take care of me. Cacao open my heart. Mushrooms help me. Tobacco elevate me. All plants offer their medicine. The poison is on the dose.

And so, this is the first birthday we celebrate as adults, brothers that shared a womb. He is my sweet brother and Im his baby sister. We are alright. Dancing helps me tamper and expand. How mysterious is love and attraction. But when things get confusing gotta take a step back and observe. I took the rosary and the hagstone. After months of trance and charging I used it to pray for him. I offer him medicine.

As soon as I get home I need to clean the rosary, the river quartz and the hagstone. YES it feels good, what we needed. And as I soon as I step outside the bathroom, the hagstone slips and falls. For the sound I know it cracked. Its too much of a coincidence. These days everything is too much of a coincidence. And so we depart and Im grateful for all the magic and trips it grant me. The trance of love. RIP, my sweet hagstone. You’ll be missed.

[theiloveyousong]

What the world needs is people like me

To keep it all spinnin' around

I'm the mover, I'm the shaker, I'm the headline-maker

Hmm, I get up

I get up

And no one's gonna keep me down

Okay, it's clear, I'm the top of this class

These folks here, well, they pump the gas

Fetch me a coffee, shine my shoes

Some of us are winners, some were born to lose

You got the sandwich artist, the security guard

The Walmart greeter with an overdrawn credit card

He smokes ganja, ooh, it's so groovy

To stay at home and watch a Transformer movie

She serves me Coke and a medium fries

And no, thanks, I don't want it supersized

'Cause that's low-class, diabetes in a cup

Keep your head down, and things will look up

What the world needs is people like me

To keep it all spinnin' around

I'm the mover, I'm the shaker, I'm the headline-maker

Hmm, I get up (she gets up)

I get up

And no one's gonna keep me down

Seriously?

This one here, he's rarin' to fail

He'll rob a 7-11 and go straight to jail

Maybe steal hubcaps, maybe steal booze

Expressing himself with his homemade tattoos

Soccer mom, minivan

Four little brats, no steady man

Do we really need another organ donor?

Maybe that was a little harsh, love you!

Oh, Pokémon, Spider-Man?

This kid doesn't have an attention span

And what's he gonna do, solve a Rubik's cube?

How long's he got if we feed him through a tube?

What the world needs is people like me

To keep it all spinnin' around

I'm the mover, I'm the shaker, I'm the headline-maker

Hmm, I get up (she gets up)

I get up

And no one's gonna keep me down

And as we move through life to find our place in the crowd

Some don't make the cut, that's crystal clear-o (oh yes, oh yes)

Oh, isn't someone keeping score? I gotta say this out loud

I mean, do we really need another zero?

Or zero? Or zero?

Or zero? Or zero?

Add 'em all up, and you'll still get zero

What you really need is a fother muckin' hero

And oh, oh

He'll never learn to read

And oh, oh

He's never gonna breed

And oh, oh

Going to jail guaranteed

And she's a freaky monster

Yes, there's a problem, I'm the solution

Darwin had a theory called, "Evolution"

He put it into words, but it's plain to see

We need a little less of them, a little more of me

What the world needs is people like me (we can't all be heroes, no)

To keep it all spinnin' around (most of us, zero-ohs)

I'm the mover, I'm the shaker, I'm the headline-maker (some fly high)

She gets up (she gets up)

She gets up

What the world needs is people like me (we can't all be heroes, no)

To keep it all spinnin' around (most of us, zero-ohs)

I'm the mover, I'm the shaker, I'm the headline-maker (some fly high)

She gets up (she gets up)

She gets up

And no one's gonna keep me down (some stay down)

Down!

mecore

[womanovertheedge]

KARNAK: I respect you taking the moral high ground. Next

OCEAN: I’m just trying to prove to you that I’m a good person!

KARNAK: Duly noted. Next

OCEAN: NUH-NOOO!

WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS IS PEOPLE LIKE ME TO KEEP IT ALL SPINNING AROUND I’M THE MOVER, I’M THE SHAKER, I’M THE HEADLINE-MAKER MMM, I GET UP I GET UP AND NO ONE’S GONNA KEEP ME DOWN

OKAY, IT’S CLEAR I’M THE TOP OF THIS CLASS THESE FOLKS HERE, WELL, THEY PUMP THE GAS FETCH ME A COFFEE, SHINE MY SHOES SOME OF US ARE WINNERS, SOME WERE BORN TO LOSE

YOU GOT THE SANDWICH ARTIST THE SECURITY GUARD THE WALMART-GREETER WITH AN OVERDRAWN CREDIT CARD

HE SMOKES GANJA OOH, IT’S SO GROOVY TO STAY AT HOME AND WATCH A TRANSFORMER MOVIE!

SHE SERVES ME COKE AND A MEDIUM FRIES AND NO THANKS, I DON’T WANT IT SUPERSIZED 'CAUSE THAT’S LOW-CLASS! DIABETES IN A CUP! KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN, AND THINGS WILL LOOK UP

OCEAN AND CHOIR: WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS IS PEOPLE LIKE ME TO KEEP IT ALL SPINNING AROUND I’M THE MOVER, I’M THE SHAKER, I’M THE HEADLINE-MAKER

OCEAN: MMM, I GET UP

CONSTANCE: SHE GETS UP!

OCEAN: I GET UP AND NO ONE’S GONNA KEEP ME DOWN

Seriously? THIS ONE HERE? HE’S RAREIN’ TO FAIL! HE’LL ROB A 7-ELEVEN AND GO STRAIGHT TO JAIL MAYBE STEAL HUBCAPS, MAYBE STEAL BOOZE? EXPRESSING HIMSELF WITH HIS HOMEMADE TATTOOS!

SOCCER MOM, MINIVAN FOUR LITTLE BRATS, NO STEADY MAN DO WE REALLY NEED ANOTHER ORGAN DONOR?

Maybe that was a little harsh. Love you!

Oh? POKEMON, SPIDERMAN THIS KID DOESN'T HAVE AN ATTENTION SPAN AND WHAT’S HE GONNA DO, SOLVE A RUBIK’S CUBE?

[whispered] How long's he got if we feed him through a tube?

OCEAN AND CHOIR: WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS IS PEOPLE LIKE ME TO KEEP IT ALL SPINNING AROUND I’M THE MOVER, I’M THE SHAKER, I’M THE HEADLINE-MAKER

OCEAN: MMM, I GET UP

CHOIR: SHE GETS UP!

OCEAN: I GET UP! AND NO ONE’S GONNA KEEP ME DOWN!

OCEAN: AND AS WE MOVE THROUGH LIFE TO FIND OUR PLACE IN THE CROWD

CHOIR: SOME DON’T MAKE THE CUT THAT’S CRYSTAL CLEAR-O

OCEAN: OH YES, OH YES!

OH ISN’T SOMEONE KEEPING SCORE? I’VE GOTTA SAY THIS OUT LOUD? I MEAN

OCEAN AND CHOIR: DO WE REALLY NEED ANOTHER ZERO?

OR ZERO? OR ZERO? OR ZERO? OR ZERO?

OCEAN: ADD ‘EM ALL UP AND YOU'LL STILL GET ZERO! WHAT YOU REALLY NEED IS A FUTHER MUCKIN’ HERO!

CHOIR: AND OH OH

OCEAN: HE’LL NEVER LEARN TO READ!

CHOIR: AND OH OH

OCEAN: HE’S NEVER GONNA BREED!

CHOIR: AND OH OH

OCEAN: GOING TO JAIL GUARANTEED!

OCEAN AND CHOIR: AND SHE’S A FREAKY MONSTER!

CHOIR: Yes, there's a problem!

OCEAN: I'm the solution! Darwin had a theory called?

CHOIR: Evolution!

OCEAN: He put it into words, but it's plain to see We need a little less of them A little more of me!

RICKY/MISCHA: WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS IS PEOPLE LIKE ME TO KEEP IT ALL SPINNING AROUND I’M THE MOVER, I’M THE SHAKER, I’M THE HEADLINE MAKER MMM, SHE GETS UP!

CONSTANCE/JANE/NOEL: WE CAN’T ALL BE HEROES NO! MOST OF US? ZERO-OHS

OCEAN (ad-libbing): ME

ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME

OH OH A LITTLE MORE OF ME!

RICKY/MISCHA: SHE GETS UP! OH WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS IS PEOPLE LIKE ME TO KEEP IT ALL SPINNIN’ AROUND I’M THE MOVER I’M THE SHAKER I’M THE HEADLINE MAKER MMM, SHE GETS UP! SHE GETS UP! SOME STAY DOWN

CONSTANCE/JANE/NOEL: WE CAN’T ALL BE HEROES NO! MOST OF US? ZERO-OHS SOME FLY HIGH SHE GETS UP SHE GETS UP

OCEAN: I GET UP! I GET UP!

CHORUS: SOME STAY DOWN

OCEAN: AND NO ONE'S GONNA TAKE ME DOWN DOOOOWN!!!

YEAH!!

[my-ana-world420]

After binging... it's like I failed us, I failed Ana and now I must start back at square one.... again! Wtf is wrong with me, I just wanna b thin And feel pretty, I restrict all day, come home, smoke my greens, then eat like everything, knowing I took my laxs so it'll just go right thru me, within hours, how tf did I not binge for so long, and now I seem to b binging b4 the night is over like the damn food Goin somewhere, it needs to go anywhere but my fuckin disgusting mouth bro, I'm afraid to restrict to much as my job as a mail carrier is very active, but I get my steps in all day, any suggestions how tf to NOT binge after work, I gotta pre occupy my mind , I've said this b4 but I'm saying it again hoping my fat fuckin disgusting body would b enough motivation but it's clearly not... I think I really gotta cut smoking my ganja , guna try for a few days and c if I can stop binging, I am setting this goal,so starting today no more flower until I reach my gw (105). I got this 👍 I hope!!!!

[askgmangraves]

What the world needs is people like me To keep it all spinnin' around I'm the mover, I'm the shaker, I'm the headline-maker Hmm, I get up I get up And no one's gonna keep me down

Okay, it's clear, I'm the top of this class These folks here, well, they pump the gas Fetch me a coffee, shine my shoes Some of us are winners, some were born to lose

You got the sandwich artist, the security guard The Walmart greeter with an overdrawn credit card He smokes ganja, ooh, it's so groovy To stay at home and watch a Transformer movie

She serves me Coke and a medium fries And no, thanks, I don't want it supersized 'Cause that's low-class, diabetes in a cup Keep your head down, and things will look up

What the world needs is people like me To keep it all spinnin' around I'm the mover, I'm the shaker, I'm the headline-maker Hmm, I get up (she gets up) I get up And no one's gonna keep me down

Seriously? This one here, he's rarin' to fail He'll rob a 7-11 and go straight to jail Maybe steal hubcaps, maybe steal booze Expressing himself with his homemade tattoos

Soccer mom, minivan Four little brats, no steady man Do we really need another organ donor? Maybe that was a little harsh, love you!

Oh, Pokémon, Spider-Man? This kid doesn't have an attention span And what's he gonna do, solve a Rubik's cube? How long's he got if we feed him through a tube?

What the world needs is people like me To keep it all spinnin' around I'm the mover, I'm the shaker, I'm the headline-maker Hmm, I get up (she gets up) I get up And no one's gonna keep me down

And as we move through life to find our place in the crowd Some don't make the cut, that's crystal clear-o (oh yes, oh yes) Oh, isn't someone keeping score? I gotta say this out loud I mean, do we really need another zero? Or zero? Or zero? Or zero? Or zero? Add 'em all up, and you'll still get zero What you really need is a fother muckin' hero

And oh, oh He'll never learn to read And oh, oh He's never gonna breed And oh, oh Going to jail guaranteed And she's a freaky monster

Yes, there's a problem, I'm the solution Darwin had a theory called, "Evolution" He put it into words, but it's plain to see We need a little less of them, a little more of me

What the world needs is people like me (we can't all be heroes, no) To keep it all spinnin' around (most of us, zero-ohs) I'm the mover, I'm the shaker, I'm the headline-maker (some fly high) She gets up (she gets up) She gets up What the world needs is people like me (we can't all be heroes, no) To keep it all spinnin' around (most of us, zero-ohs) I'm the mover, I'm the shaker, I'm the headline-maker (some fly high) She gets up (she gets up) She gets up

And no one's gonna keep me down (some stay down) Down!

[d-trashbandicoot]

Turning Point?

2023 June 16th Friday 07:07

I've lost count how many times I've said that now. Will this time be any different. I hear the birds outside. Wish I knew what they were singing about.

The decision has been made. We're moving to Glasgow, for better or worse. I thought I had it all figured out. Who needs doctors and psychologists when you have old mother earth and her gifts of ganja, and other substances which most people would describe as drugs. Things that bring you closer to the universe.

It all makes sense, i see it now. I've been seeing it every time I smoke since my DMT trip. But today I doubt. What if I'm wrong, what if I'm lieing to myself. (Is that how you spell it?! Am I that dumb that I can't even write basic English).

Am I just caught in a spiraling delusion.

My friend passed me a copy of an interesting book (An understatement). Madness, A bipolar life by Marya Hornbacher. From page 1 the words resonate as if coming from my own mind, exaggerated by my "overactive imagination". (A direct quote from one of my shitty past therapists)

But yet it's all too familiar, not as chaotic but the feelings. After all she talks of type 1 , whilst I'm type 2, then there's other factors like time, location and family composition. But the feelings, the intricate prose of the pleasures of blood, the energy from drugs. Details as specific as the water bottle filled with vodka in the school bag. And the confusion, the constant misdirection, so long before the cause was even considered. A story all too familiar.

But it's given me strength in part. I never had a singular drive. I guess that's a product of the you can achieve anything school philosophy. All the possibilities laid out in front of you. But so many are fun. How is one supposed to choose and stick to one for life. It seems a waste, and somehow I got stuck doing nothing. But I'll keep trying.

Is a delusion bad if it's intention is to make you better?

A coping mechanism for self recovery.

I don't know.

I'll find out. I just gotta keep up.

Keep up the camera. Take those photos and videos, Edit, write, produce. Just fucking create. I'm tired of hiding, toning it all down for the benefit of society.

Fuck.

Them.

All.

I'm fucked in the head, why should I try to make anyone believe otherwise. I'm vibing, I'm connected with nature, I baked bread the other day. When was the last time any of those fuckers committed half a day just to appreciate fresh bread or got lost in the clouds to simply exist in the moment. They tease and show you all the opportunities, but as soon as you're different, as soon as you can't be molded or plied into their frames they let you get lost in the current. You slowly drift away and fade out of existence.

But there's hope; I want to believe that and based on the past I've made great steps. We are diagnosed, we are off the island and we are not mindless drones chained to an office desk. I go with the flow and consider the consequences (Or at least try). After all, they did say you can do anything you want, why shouldn't I try to do it all.

[just-my-high-thoughts]

[rageprufrock]

I desperately need an in-depth review of the gay bread from you.

SO. We did not do a broad sampling of the sex bread for numerous reasons that do not bear further discussion at this juncture, and we ended up buying a small loaf (8 slices) of the butterscotch flavor with an overall "lol we gotta" energy.

I was prepared for this bread to be tooth-rottingly sweet, since in general, Thai flavors tend toward more sweet in general, and this was fucking butterscotch flavored sex bread. For reasons good, bad, stupid and delightful, we didn't get around to actually eating it for almost 36 hours between travel and shenanigans. Also because at one point we were in a lakeside hotel getting absolutely stoned out of our gourds. Anyway, we woke up the next morning, and in the fuzzy kindness of our weed hangover, I said to my long-suffering partner in crime, "Hey, we have to eat the sex bread now," and she said, "Fuck," but then we ate the sex bread.

The sex bread was fucking delicious. I don't know that it really tasted like butterscotch, but it was definitely more sweet than your ordinary Wonder Bread, but with a mass-produced Asian bakery loaf texture. It also wasn't so sweet it was unpleasant to eat just rawdog style, no coffee or anything, just weed hungover next to a lake, although I wouldn't be inclined to put any kind of jam or sweet spread on it. We did decide it would be absolutely bitchin French toast and or a bread pudding. We ate all 8 slices in a post-ganja haze, but were not able test its efficacy as a chaser or flavor pre-game for dick. Just extrapolating, I do not think it would be a great chaser or pre-game for dick, flavor or texture wise.

Anyway in conclusion the sex bread fucking slapped and I hope KinnPorsche is really fucking pleased with themselves at how devastatingly effective and psychologically traumatizing this product placement was.

[acowardinmordor]

Eddie glanced up from the other side of the room, fussing at his guitar, tonguing the pick between his teeth so it flicked fast, up and down. Steve inhaled wrong, choked on his first hit of the night, and coughed for a few minutes while the rest of the group teased him relentlessly.

“I know how to smoke a joint!” he croaked, before coughing again. 

“Sure you do.”

“Yeah.”

“It’s so obvious.”

“You’re an expert.”

“I have smoked pot before!” He yelled.

“Aw, Dingus, you don’t have to lie to us.”

“Yeah, we’re your friends. Just ask and we can help explain it.” 

“You have seen me smoke. Stop it. I know how to smoke.” And then he coughed again, which set them all off again. “I no longer like any of you, get out of my house.”

Robin stole the joint while he was dying the first time, and it made its way around. Jonathan slid a can across the table, and Steve took a couple sips to get his chest to stop, and get his breathing to calm down. 

He glared at all of them. “Stop. I have smoked. I have smoked many times. I know how to smoke.”

“Everytime you say that, we believe it less.”

“Say Steve, you gotta be careful out there. Have you ever experimented with The Marijauna?”

“Mary Jane? The devil’s lettuce?”

“Have you or someone you loved experienced Reefer Madness?”

“Tried some grass? Some green? Ganja? Hash?”

“Steve, have you ever met a dope fiend?”

“We did this last weekend!” He flopped his arms and fell back in his chair, accepting defeat. He was going to hear about this months. Every time they remembered, it was going to come back. “I hate you. Robin, you’re no longer my best friend. Jonathan, you’re buying beer. Argyle, you’re back on Pizza.”

“Hey! Why don’t Nancy and Eddie get punished?”

“Because Nancy has a gun, and Eddie is sitting in the corner, not being an asshole to me. They’re my only friends now.”

He gestured to them both. Nancy was leaning over her chair, handing the joint to Eddie, who was watching with a wicked gleam in his eyes. He slipped the pick between the strings and set the guitar to the side before he took a short hit. 

Steve should have known better. Fastest way to get Eddie to show off was to point out that he wasn’t. 

He crossed the room, exhaling as he went. 

“Yeah guys, don’t be mean cause it’s Stevie’s first time. He just needs a little help.”

He took a long, deep draw, holding it while Robin accepted the joint. Hands on either side of the chair, Eddie leaned in. Steve knew what this was, and there was no way to get out of it without giving them more ammunition. Tongue caught between his teeth, and beaming at his victory, Eddie closed the gap. When they were close enough that the remaining choices were to shove him off or accept it, Eddie winked. 

He had to be running out of oxygen, but Eddie was stubborn as hell. 

Steve opened his mouth and inhaled while a perfectly controlled, easy, smooth stream of smoke flowed between them. It went long enough that he got dizzy, wobbling in his seat, very nearly breaking the rules. 

It wasn’t a real shotgun if your lips touched. 

Eddie followed the motion and kept them apart.

“See?” Eddie said after a breath “he’s learning. Just needed a hand.” 

Upright again, Eddie bit his lower lip where no one else could see.

Steve blinked, and immediately coughed on lungfuls of smoke. 

[muselixer]

dumb things my friends and I have said!

newer and better edition, ft. 2021! apologies ahead of time for length! feel free to change pronouns if need be. warnings for foul and dirty language, and capslock-implied yelling :)

“I don’t know about bomb stuff.”

“We’re not going to Pavlov my girlfriend.”

“We become heathens when we enter the doors of the shopping mall.”

“No, it’s give a girl head, it’s not a slur.”

“I’m white and privileged. Give me a kiss.”

“‘You gotta have a little bit of faith.’ I don’t believe in God!”

“Four dollar fries. I am no longer asking.”

“Would you like me to call you a bitch or a bastard?”

“It’s not like your nipples are gonna stiffen up when you die.”

“Like, people hear my dumbass voice saying some stupid shit, and they’re like, “Oh, time to punch (Name).””

“DO YOU FUCKING SEE IT, RAT BASTARD? OH MY GOD.”

“I went to counseling to be a fun drunk.”

“YOU’RE GONNA DIE OF HUNGRY.”

“Damn, you are sluttin’ it on stage!”

“Girl you are fisting his god damn throat.”

“No, I don’t go out by myself. I’d get hatecrimed.”

“...I forgot bugs existed.”

“I’m sorry I can’t be your Burger King.”

“Here’s another curse! May all your bacon burn.”

“You should make these so you could stab someone festively.”

“I’m gay, I don’t have to learn how to fix a car.”

“You don’t fuck the bread. You put the bread in the cart and chop down rain forests.”

“You are worth more than chicken nuggets to me.”

“I won’t kick you out this time. I will make fun of you, though.”

“I’ll make a blood sacrifice here in a minute.”

“I’m glad she used your actions against you.”

“If you vibe with identifying as a horse, I wouldn’t care.”

“What if we got hatecrimed together and then became stars?”

“You WILL have a happy birthday. This is a threat.”

“I’m not your lotion slave.”

“I can’t believe we’re getting killed by rats.”

“Best method acting technique? Just be gay.”

“Should I wear thigh highs? What a stupid fuckin’ question, the answer’s always yes.”

“Please do not fuck the flying horse.”

“It tastes like a sexy battery.”

“Get you a man who can do both. Get me. I can do both.”

“Just slap some ganja on there bucko, you won’t feel a thing in no time.”

“Sweetie, that is quite possibly the gayest stance you could have posed with.”

“I hate to break it to you, but lawyers swear a LOT.”

“I didn’t know brainrot was contagious.”

“Is it gay to kill another man with your bare hands?”

“What an asshole. Rear end him right now.”

“You need to scrape your knees too, bitch.”

“Nobody needs an alcohol enema.”

“You’re dressed nicely for a manwhore!”

“I diagnose you with narcissist.”

“All words are made of letters, dickhead.”

“Food wakes me up even if I’m not eating it.”

“I’m convinced people in (location) don’t know how to do math.”

“I hate to break it to you, but porpoises and dolphins are different creatures.”

“If I wanted to date someone made of bones, I would’ve bought a skeleton from the Halloween store.”

“I love the tiddies out, nipples in look.”

“I am one with the gutter gators.”

“It’s so Monday today.”

“Cocktails just make you gay.”

“Welcome to the office of wasting your time! I’ll be your girlboss this evening!”

“I’m glad that you think of me as your pet fucking rat.”

“It’s avant-garde. I wouldn’t expect you to understand that though.”

“The way I function... I’m constantly telling myself that everything I do is cringeworthy.”

“Your blood will be root beer in 10.”

“How strong are your arms to push this many words into my mouth.”

“I hate women, I do drugs, here’s how I scammed DoorDash.”

“You knew me best during college, was I a ho during college?”

“Your head looks like a science lab beaker.”

“If I get drunk, I get worse.”

“I put on the cat paws, you gotta do the ritual!”

“You’re so dramatic. Just choose to not die.”

“(Name) looks like a BITCH.”

“Do you know what red is? It’s a color, you silly little man.”

“I want my cherry, (NAME).”

[sunnyie-eve]

6 || Bullet wound

Series: Treasure Hunt | Without a Paddle

Word count: 1.7k

PREVIOUS

"Tom... Where were you a river guide?" Dan asks tired.

"San Dimas." Tom says making me want to get up and strangle him.

"Raging Waters?" Jerry says.

"Yeah. They had some serious rapids there, man." Tom answers.

"What, class, toddler?!" I shout at him.

"Hey, I was employee of the month of the Monsoon Lagoon." I throw my head back while they all blame whose fault it is for us getting here.

"Hold on a sec, Tom. We're you really employed of the month?" Jerry asks.

"No. I lied about that, too." He tells us the truth.

"Let's just go home." Dan shouts.

"I agree. That's a great decision. All we gotta do is jump up over that 100 foot waterfall, swim upstream 20 miles, get to the sheriff on the phone... He likes us. I remember. And he'll send out a rescue boat." I grab Dan turning him to the waterfall.

"Hey, there's a beer in the river. Cool. Look at this it's cold." Tom takes it out of the water. While Dan loses his mind, I look at the wedding ring on my finger. Jerry said he still had Billy's compass so we walk south.

"Hey that sounds like Creed." Jerry says.

"I never thought I'd be happy to hear anything that sounds like Creed." Tom says and as we get to the top we see lights.

When we get closer we realize it's the two guys from the river. Dan or either Jerry kicks a van making them know someone is here. "That's a gun." I whisper as we go to hide. "Holy hell." I see the whole shed was full of weed with Tom.

"Hey. These guys are pot farmers." Tom lets Jerry and Dan know.

"What? How do you know that?" Jerry asks so we point it out.

"We should go." Jerry says.

"No shit." I whisper shout at him.

"What are you doing?" I see Tom opening a package.

"I'll write you a prescription. Let's go." Dan tells him as we tell him let's go.

"All right." He comes over making noise.

"Tom!" I growl at him.

As we get ready to leave the dogs show up then the guys. "Hey, guys, um... Listen. We don't want any trouble. Um, we just got lost in the river, you know? Hey, can we use your phone? And... And... Who cares, you know?" Dan says right before they start to shoot at us.

I hiss as I feel a bullet grazed my side as I leap to hide with the guys.

"Let's go through there." Tom points at the wall.

"Where? There's no door." Dan says and the guys look at each before throwing him through the wall.

"Pick him up faster. You giants should have no problem." I shout at them as they grab Dan.

"What do you do?" Jerry asks as Dan set something off.

"Why are there flares?" He asks as we all look us.

"Great mother of ganja." We see a field of them growing pot. The gunshots making us run again but as the field catches fire we start to crack up getting high.

"I never thought I'd die with you losers!" I laugh running.

"It's not so bad." Tom laughs.

"You guys gotta promise my you'll never tell my patients that I got stoned, because if they found out I got stoned, they'll think that I'm a stoner. The next thing you know, I won't have a license anymore. They'll take away all my instruments and my coat and my office, and I won't have... a parking space anymore." Dan cries while we laugh at him. "I lost my legs." He falls straight down.

"You gotta move your legs." We tell him helping him back up.

"They have laser scopes. They had you pinned." Jerry says as we stop to the side.

"Dudes, dudes. Seriously. Seriously. I will give you four cows for Denise's hand in marriage." Tom laughs in a Indian accent.

"Keep moving." I laugh pushing them forward. We look at Dan as he gasps and lean backs mocking the Matrix before running with us again.

We all run into a pond and panic trying to figure out how to hide. We grab a plant that looked like a huge straw so we put it in our mouth and use it like a snorkel. We listen to them yell and come up when we no longer hear them.

"It crawled straight in my stomach. I think it laid eggs in my stomach." Dan coughs as we all get out to keep moving all night.

~

"You think they're still following us?" Dan asks.

"I don't wanna stop and find out." I hiss as my hand hits where the bullet grazed me.

"I think we can slow down. I haven't heard dogs or guns for hours." Jerry says after some time.

"Yeah? You slow down... Get a stick of dynamite up your ass." Dan tells him.

"Calm down, Daniel, we're gonna be all right." Jerry says passing him up.

"No, we're not, Jerry. We could really die out here. Man, I can't believe that I would listen to you guys. Let's go take Billy's trip. Let's... let's find D.B.'s treasure. I'll get a canoe. I'll get some rope." Dan starts to lose it again.

"Is he all right?" Jerry looks at Tom and I.

"Is he having a panic attack?" Tom asks.

"I think his is." We stare at him.

"That's great. Make jokes. That's a really good idea. Is this living in the moment enough for you, Jerry? Is this the carefree life with no response that you wanted? Is this the great wilderness adventure that you were dreaming of?" Dan asks.

"How should I be, Dr. Dan? Tell me." Jerry walks up to him.

"Be scared." Dan says so Jerry said he is.

"Well, then act like it! It is very confusing to people in your life when you don't act the way that you're feeling! No wonder Denise is fed up with you." Dan says making Jerry grab him.

"Hey, hey. That was uncalled for." I step between them and Tom pulls Jerry back.

"No, you staying with an abusive ass is uncalled for. You married a man who was just like your father." He snaps making me grab him by the shirt. "You little weasel." I growl but Tom steps in making me let go of Dan's shirt.

"Take it easy." He tells him.

"You take it easy. Mr. Joe-tattoo. Mr. Motorcycle-man... Mr. Super-cool, Mr. Bullet-wound... Oh, my... Tom... You got shot." Dan says and we see Tom's arm. Dan says he'll stick it up.

"What's wrong with you?" Tom nods his head at where my hand was.

"Just a bullet grazed me." I lift my shirt to show them.

"That will need stitches too." Dan tells me as I sit down next to Tom.

"Did I see you have a lower back tat?" Tom leans closer to me whispering.

"Ugh, yes." I roll my eyes.

"Thought you weren't getting any other than the one on your wrist and ankle?" He laughs.

"Park, you got another tattoo?" Jerry asks.

"I got four more." I tell them and Jerry starts to apologize to Dan.

"Tom, I think you're buying with all that Harley money." Jerry sits with us.

"I'm sorry, I, uh... That whole thing was an exaggeration." Tom tells us.

"What, you don't make that much?" Jerry asks.

"No, I don't sell Harleys. In fact, uh... The only thing I've sold lately is some clothes and CDs. They weren't not even mine." He chuckles.

"Tom, that's not an exaggeration. That's a lie. You know you lie a lot." I laugh.

"I know." He sighs making me rub his good arm.

"What happened?" Dan asks him.

"Well, first it was blackjack. Then the cards went south. So then I started betting football and baseball. I lost everything. What'd I expect? I got no luck. It's like my old man used to say. Family curse. If we didn't have bad luck, we wouldn't have luck at all." Tom explains so Jerry and him talk about how he's not like his father.

"Well, I wouldn't say a lot smarter. Tom... you have a lot more going for you than you think you do." Dan tells him.

"That's easy for you to say Dano. You're a freaking doctor. I mean, you got a big old bank account, a ginormous house, big, think red hair." Tom tells him and Dan them says he develops a new fear like every day.

"Your turn Park." Tom and I swap places.

I turn the other way since he needed my right side then roll my shirt up and lean back a little so he could get to it. "What's the story of this baby." Tom points at the tattoo on the side of my left abdomen.

"It's a sad story." I sigh.

"We just talked about sad things." He looks at the tattoo.

"I lost a baby... Because of Rick." I sigh closing my eyes.

"Because of Rick?! How!?" Jerry shouts.

"I was scared to tell him and when he found out he was pissed. He told me to get rid of it and when I said I wanted a baby he did anything to make me lose it. He succeeded so I got a tattoo. Which pissed him off because he hates that I have tattoos. If you have tattoos you're just a tramp and dirty." I mock him.

"You're a tramp... HA!" Tom laughs.

"What's funny about that?" Dan asks.

"Our Park has a tramp stamp." Tom laughs.

"Hey, it made me more money at the strip club." I laugh.

"Where are your other tats?" Tom asks.

"Right shoulder/ collarbone, and sternum." I tell him and gives me a side smile.

"Done." Dan finishes as we hear his phone ringing. "Hey, would one of you guys grab my phone. My..." We look around then the guys take off.

"Wait guys!" I rush after them then the bear roars making them run back.

NEXT

[theiloveyousong]

[Karnak:]

I respect you taking the moral high ground. next

[Ocean:]

I'm just trying to prove to you that I'm a good person!

[Karnak:]

Duly noted. next

[Ocean:]

Nuh-nooo!

What the world needs is people like me

To keep it all spinning around

I'm the mover, I'm the shaker, I'm the headline-maker

Mmm, I get up

I get up

And no one's gonna keep me down

Okay, it's clear I'm the top of this class

These folks here, well, they pump the gas

Fetch me a coffee, shine my shoes

Some of us are winners, some were born to lose

You got the sandwich artist

The security guard

The Walmart-greeter with an overdrawn credit card

He smokes ganja

Ooh, it's so groovy

To stay at home

And watch a transformer movie!

She serves me coke and a medium fries

And no thanks, I don't want it supersized

'Cause that's low-class! diabetes in a cup!

Keep your head down, and things will look up

[Ocean and choir:]

What the world needs is people like me

To keep it all spinning around

I'm the mover, I'm the shaker, I'm the headline-maker

[Ocean:]

Mmm, I get up

[Constance:]

She gets up!

[Ocean:]

I get up

And no one's gonna keep me down

Seriously?

This one here? he's rarein' to fail!

He'll rob a 7-11 and go straight to jail

Maybe steal hubcaps, maybe steal booze?

Expressing himself with his homemade tattoos!

Soccer mom, minivan

Four little brats, no steady man

Do we really need another organ donor?

Maybe that was a little harsh. love you!

Oh?

Pokemon, spiderman

This kid doesn't have an attention span

Never really heard from, only ever seen.

[Whispered]

We're bringing back the guy who plays the tambourine?

[Ocean and choir:]

What the world needs is people like me

To keep it all spinning around

I'm the mover, I'm the shaker, I'm the headline-maker

[Ocean:]

Mmm, I get up

[Choir:]

She gets up!

[Ocean:]

I get up!

And no one's gonna keep me down!

And as we move through life

To find our place in the crowd

[Choir:]

Some don't make the cut

That's crystal clear-o

[Ocean:]

Oh yes, oh yes!

Oh, isn't someone keeping score?

I've gotta say this out loud?

I mean

[Ocean and choir:]

Do we really need another zero?

Or zero?

Or zero?

Or zero?

Or zero?

[Ocean:]

Add 'em all up and you'll still get zero!

What you really need is a further muckin' hero!

[Choir:]

And oh oh

[Ocean:]

He'll never learn to read!

[Choir:]

And oh oh

[Ocean:]

He's never gonna breed!

[Choir:]

And oh oh

[Ocean:]

Going to jail guaranteed!

[Ocean and choir:]

And she's a freaky monster!

[Choir:]

Yes, there's a problem!

[Ocean:]

I'm the solution!

Darwin had a theory called?

[Choir:]

Evolution!

[Ocean:]

He put it into words, but it's plain to see

We need a little less of them

A little more of me!

[Ricky/Mischa:]

What the world needs is people like me

To keep it all spinning around

I'm the mover, I'm the shaker, I'm the headline maker mmm, she gets up!

[Constance/Jane/Noel:]

We can't all be heroes

No!

Most of us?

Zero-ohs

[Ocean (ad-libbing):]

Me

Me me

Me me

Me me

Me me

Oh oh

A little more of me!

[Ricky/Mischa:]

She gets up!

Oh what the world needs is people like me

To keep it all spinnin' around

I'm the mover I'm the shaker I'm the headline maker, mmm, she gets up!

She gets up!

Some stay down

[Constance/Jane/Noel:]

We can't all be heroes

No!

Most of us?

Zero-ohs

Some fly high

She gets up

She gets up

[Ocean:]

I get up!

I get up!

[Chorus:]

Some stay down

[Ocean:]

And no one's gonna take me down

Doown!

(Ocean who's still in her button pose—atop a human pyramid of her classmates, looks down)

oh? where did you get this very real dialogue that i have definitely said at one point in my life

[beavesaintmarie]

every single GOT ~leak~ these days follows the same formula. a few popular fandom theories, mixed in with HELLA shipper/character biases topped off with j/n always getting over having his entire fucking WORLD turned upside down after the R+L bomb is dropped in like RECORD TIME so he can get back to what REALLY matters.................fucking his aunt.