#where they guy calls it an IED not an IUD

[nochukoo97]

beside you

pairing: idol!jungkook x gf!reader

summary: you miss your boyfriend after not seeing him for a long time, so who could blame you if you couldn’t resist him once you saw him?

warnings/tags: MINORS DNI, dom!jk, sub!oc, established relationship, oc is a little whiny and desperate oops, riding, missionary, oc has an iud but it isn’t mentioned, lots of kissing, jk buys oc a pair of ck underwear 🥹, aftercare, jk calls her pretty girl and baby :((, they miss each other so much, a little i love you moment halfway :))

word count: 2.1k+

beside you; keshi: it’s just you and i, and no other guys, we got no interruptions and we both feelin’ the vibe

You find yourself sitting in a random coffee shop, your mood clouded by a deep sense of longing. Your fingers trace the rim of the coffee cup, the warm ceramic comforting in your hands. Leaning your head against your palm, you release a heavy sigh, your eyes fixated on the half-diluted coffee that you had paid an hefty price for, “I miss my boyfriend,”

Beside you, Chaeyong, your roommate of four years, gives you an amused look. She rolls her eyes playfully and nudges the plate of pastries closer, urging you to take another bite.

Chaeyong's comment brings a pout to your lips. “You say that every time he's out of your sight,” she remarks, her voice tinged with affectionate exasperation.

A small whine of frustration escapes your lips as you respond, “But I was so excited to see him yesterday when he landed in the evening, and I fell asleep! And by the time I woke up this morning, he had left for another schedule.”

Chaeyong tries to console your sullen mood, “But you'll see him later today, right?”

You nod, but it's accompanied by another heavy sigh. The mere thought of having to wait a little longer to be reunited with Jungkook deepens your yearning for him. Your heart aches with the anticipation of the moment when you can finally hold him close and simply spend time with him.

You’ve been separated from Jungkook for a good week or so because of his promotions in America, and as much as you tried to keep an optimistic mindset while living away from your boyfriend, there was a major part of you that simply craved for his presence to be back.

For example, when you ate breakfast in the morning, there was no Jungkook sitting beside you to annoy you with the most random facts he’s learnt, or throughout the day, there was no Jungkook singing random tunes to songs that filled the apartment, and most of all, there was no Jungkook to cuddle up next to you and help you sleep.

Frankly, the dark under eyes clearly showing through your skin is evident of Jungkook’s absence for the past week. It’s been more than rough for you, considering you’ve been spoilt by Jungkook’s cooking that a mere packet of instant noodles can even taste bland.

“Then just text him to see when you can meet,” Chaeyong is a genius, you didn’t think of that.

you: hi baby

you: i miss you :((((((((((

Chaeyong’s been curiously peering at your phone screen, as you type out a message to your boyfriend. A wry grin tugs at your lips, but your amusement quickly turns into a grumble as her scrutinizing eyes zero in on your texting style.

“Yuck, that’s how you text him?” She inquires, her tone mixed with amusement and faux disgust.

“Get a boyfriend and then you’ll understand,” You scoff, retorting at her as you kick her shin from under the table, earning a hiss from your roommate.

jungkook: hi my pretty girl :)

jungkook: miss you too

jungkook: just finished my filming and im done for the day, wanna come over to my studio? 😘

“This is the part where I get abandoned here isn’t it,” Chaeyong deadpans as she reads the text Jungkook had sent back, the text itself already making you light up and gasp in excitement.

“Chaeyong,” You look her directly in the eyes, pleading with your roommate, “You know how much I love you but right now, I need to get to my boyfriend like asap,”

“Fine, fine, go ahead, you better do the same for me when I get a boyfriend,” She rolls her eyes at you, as you quickly spew a string of thank-you-you’re-the-best-in-the-whole-wide-world, before grabbing your bag to drive over to his company building.

-

Breathless and filled with anticipation, you swing the door to Jungkook's studio open, paying no heed to the quiet click of the latch. The space is awash in a soft glow from the artistic lamps scattered across the room. Your heart races as you spot your boyfriend, Jungkook, sitting in the swivel chair in front of his cluttered desk.

Eager and almost stumbling in your haste, you bound towards him, your footsteps echoing throughout the studio. The swivel chair creaks ever so slightly as you launch yourself into his lap, an exclamation escaping your lips.

“Hi, oof-” He huffs when you jump into his lap, arms wrapping around his muscular back as you sigh in relief.

Jungkook smiles at you affectionately, his face illuminated with a soft glow from his monitor that he had been previously focused on, but your sudden arrival was a much better thing to concentrate on at this point.

“Hi pretty girl,” He greets you properly this time, his own arms wrapping around your smaller body as he chuckles at your playful behaviour.

“Did you have fun? You’re all dressed up,” Your boyfriend takes notice of the flowy dress you’re wearing, the light makeup you had put on and how your hair had been parted half up half down. Jungkook thinks you’re the prettiest thing he’s ever seen, the sight of you all dolled up does things to his heart.

“Yeah, me and Chaeyong went to a cafe, but goddamn the coffee was not worth it,” You begin to ramble on about the aesthetic looking cafe, filled with cute little plants and flowers and even a cat, and Jungkook listens attentively, watching your expression switch each time you talk.

“And she helped me take pictures for my Instagram too,” You tell him, arms wrapping around his neck as you touch your nose with his for a split second.

“Yeah? Show me them,” He muses, waiting for you to retrieve your phone from the bag that had been hastily thrown onto his couch in the studio, right before you had launched yourself onto him.

“Later,” A whine pulls from your throat as you inch closer to him, if that was even possible, your legs hanging from either side of his thighs as you straddle his lap, “I missed you so much,”

“Missed you too baby,” He mumbles against your lip as you lean down to kiss him, a little more desperate than usual.

Jungkook bites onto your bottom lip mid-kiss, making you part your lips with a soft gasp in surprise, he takes the opportunity to slide his tongue in, hands reaching to hold the back of your neck.

You feel the heat rushing down, it’s been a week since you had last kissed Jungkook, a week since you’ve been in physical contact with him. At this point you’re so desperate for him you don’t try to hide it, softly grinding against his growing bulge under his jeans, making the man under you groan.

“Such a little minx,” His hands fall down to slip under the hem of your dress, stroking your thighs gently as you whine into the kiss.

“Need you,” You’re panting against his lips, desperate for him to do something, anything, you’ll take anything at this point, “Please,”

“Yeah? Tell me what you want baby,” He squeezes your waist, doing nothing but sitting there with a stupid grin while you rut against him desperately, slick soaking through your panties already.

“Kook,” Another whine escapes your mouth as you shamelessly let out a soft moan when you grind over a particular spot that rubs your sensitive clit. Fuck, you’re about to go crazy from all the teasing he’s doing.

“Tell me pretty girl, use your words,”

“Want to ride you,” You pant some more, head buried into his neck as you gasp when he shuffles a little under you.

You tug at his shirt, signaling for him to remove it as you remove your dress at the same time, exposing the CK underwear set he had bought you recently.

“Fuck, my pretty girl,” Jungkook might just be drooling at the sight in front of him, you’re insane for showing up to his studio and making him so desperate for you.

He slides a finger along your covered slit, hissing when the wet fabric touches his skin. You don’t give him time to comment on anything, crashing your lips back in his as you tug his pants and underwear off, making him do the same for you after.

“Let me stretch you out baby,” He whispers against your ear, hissing when your hand wraps around the base of his cock.

“No, ‘sokay, I just need you now,” Your whining at this point because all you want is Jungkook’s cock buried in your dripping cunt, but he’s been purposefully riling you up and teasing you so much, you’ll take matters into your own hands.

He gives you an amused smile, clearly entertained by this new side of you, desperate for his touch.

You angle his cock towards your slit as you slowly sink down, gasps coming from both of your mouths.

“Fuck- So tight-” Jungkook grits through his teeth, hands finding their way to your bare ass as he gives it a tight squeeze, before reaching back up to unclasp your bra.

You support your weight by pressing your palms against his bare chest, moving upwards before sinking back down on his cock, moans from the both of you sounding throughout his studio, but thank goodness for his soundproof walls, or the both of you would have been caught by now.

“Baby, please, more,” Jungkook coos at you in a whiny state, his own cock throbbing as your hole clenches around it over and over again.

He lifts the both of you up, shoves your bag away before placing you down on the couch, his much larger body now hovering over yours.

“Hnnghh!” A muffled moan emits from you as Jungkook ruts into your soaking pussy, head lowering down to kiss you deeply. Your sensations are all over the place, body sensitive and overstimulated from not having any action for the past week.

“Yeah? Good baby?” He whispers, making you nod in response. Jungkook watches in awe as your eyes roll back at a particular thrust, your hair forming a halo around your head, lips swollen as you take all of him.

“S-So good, so fucking good, I love you-” You’re a mess, stuttering over your words as your boyfriend fucks you into oblivion, his cock thrusting into that sensitive spot inside you that makes your thighs shake in pleasure.

“I love you,” He kisses down the valley of your breasts, thrusts increasing in speed as the both of you reach closer to your climax. Jungkook’s moans get louder, his groans more throaty as his eyebrows furrow.

“So close, so close, please! Hah-” You think you’re drooling right now, he’s hitting all the right spots, making your vision go blurry as you’re overwhelmed with pleasure.

With one particular harsh thrust, he lets out a guttural groan from above you as the both of your climax, his warm seed shooting into your pussy.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck-” Jungkook’s almost whining as he ruts into you, desperate pants leave his mouth as his thrusts slow down, pulling out, his body collapsing on top of you as he catches his breath.

“Shit, you’re insane,” He pants, head burying into your neck as you giggle at his hair that tickles your skin slightly, “Did so well for me baby, so good,”

“Feel so good, missed you,” You whisper, hands roaming his back as you soothe the scratches from your sharp nails that painted his back.

“And your cock,” You add on, making Jungkook snort above you.

“Couldn’t tell at all baby,” He muses, lifting his head to peck your cheek, then the corner of your lips. “We need to clean up,” He sighs, watching some of his cum slowly drip out, threatening to fall onto his couch.

You let Jungkook get off you, watching as he quickly fetches the wet wipes that he keeps on his desk, gently cleaning you up as he peppers kisses to your stomach.

“Best welcome back present I’ve received to be honest, 10/10,” He teases you as he hands back your clothes, helping you put them back on.

“What about that time when I literally surprised you with a cake?” You nudge his bare shoulder, a faux frown plastered on your face.

“Baby, the cake was half raw, we both had food poisoning for a week after that,” He taunts you, making you gasp dramatically.

“It’s the thought that counts! You try to make a cake from scratch then!”

“Deal, I’ll bake you a cake tonight, watch out, because I’ve been watching a ton of Nailed It!” He tells you, pulling his shirt over his head to put it back on.

Jungkook does indeed bake the best tasting cake you’ve ever eaten in your life, proving your point wrong.

[ohbo-ohno]

Being Trans Soap’s gynecologist and he cums on your fingers when you have your fingers inside him looking for the strings of his iud (Ghost will have to punish him for that later). Just a random thot.

i only ever see trans soap in the context of soap getting his pussy DESTROYED by ghost but my god these trans!soap x reader fics y'all send me.... im in shambles

anyways this could go 2 ways in my mind

1 - you're a doctor. when soap is waiting in your waiting room, you think he's waiting for a gf or wife or something, but you're not that surprised when you call his name to come back for an appointment. you're a doctor, a professional, and he's not the first trans man you've treated and he won't be the last

what does shock you is just... his confidence. he's not confident like most people come into a gynecologist are - confidence that comes from experience, a sort of "i've done this 10 times and i'll do it 10 more and yeah it's uncomfortable but whatever". he's confident in a "i fucking love having my pussy touched kind of way"

not normal for the gynecologist!!!

he makes it clear he's interested in you as soon as he spots you - damn near lights up like a lightbulb when you call his name, leans real close into your space and purrs "oh, please tell me you're my doctor, lass". (you're a professional so you tell yourself it's the accent that makes you blush and nothing esle)

and he bares himself so confidently. doesn't seem uncomfortable at all in the stirrups and spreads his knees literally as wide as physically impossible (he's remarkably flexible for such a muscular guy, but you can't think of that for long). he rests his hands low on his stomach, fingertips resting on the meat of his cunt, and stares at you with this absolutely insufferable (hot) smirk

(when you get to the "this may hurt a bit" portion of the appointment, he moans)

2 - you're a student working under a full-doctor, and this is probably one of your first appointments ever. and then here comes johnny, tall and broad and the exact opposite of what you expected to see (but you're determined to be a good student, so you don't say anything even if it takes a couple seconds for you to remember trans people exist lol)

and oh you just know johnny is instantly honed in on you - the nervous doctor in the corner of the room who looks up at him with those big wide eyes, little blush on your cheeks.... yeah, he's a goner

he's cocky as hell - shoulders rolled back, head held high, sharp smirk when you meet his eyes, not even pretending to listen to the doctor (until he gets himself situated without breaking eye contact with you)

and isn't it just his lucky day that the doctor has you do the exam?

(your face is hot when you ask the doctor if behavior like that is normal, and soap gets in the car where ghost is waiting and gushes for hours about the cute little doctor he wants to take home)

[tomhockstetter7-111]

Imagine this

Logan X afab reader with emotion-exchange power one-night stand

Notes: Mentions of sex (duh), I like to think reader has IUD, mentions of emotional trauma, I blatantly ignore the fact that Logan lost his memory in X-Men Origins for now

Inspired by a short story I read here . Go give her some love. It’s beautiful and one of my favorites

You have the power to calm the emotions of people around you and transfer your emotions to them. In turn, however, you take on what they feel. After a long day at work, all you want is to go to your favorite bar and have a drink, but you notice you’ve caught the eye of a stranger in a leather jacket and a strange haircut. You can feel the desperation radiating off him like a space heater. So, you decide “Fuck it. I could use some relief myself.” Who cares if you can feel his emotions? No one said you HAD to perceive them. And absolutely no one said you had to give him yours.

That’s how you found yourself bent over in an alleyway behind the bar getting your brains pounded out by some guy whose name you don’t even know. But, damn was he pretty. He clings to you like his life depends on it as he finishes inside. Once he stands up straight, all he says is “See you around” before zipping himself up and walking away.

You pull your underwear back up from around your knees and run a hand through your hair as you huff out a chuckle.

“What happened to you?” you mumble. But, you can’t let yourself linger on it too long. Otherwise, it’ll eat you alive. Compartmentalization was a bitch to learn but damn you were good at it now.

You shove your hands into your pockets as you walk home with a faint smile on your face and just a hint of intrigue in the stranger in the back of your mind.

Time passes as usual and you never see the man again. One day, as you sit in your office a few months later, you receive a phone call forwarded to you by the front desk. Someone knows about your power. But, not only that. They want you to come work for them in Westchester, New York. Just a little further upstate from where you are now. They say they can help you, and you can help others.

After mulling over it for some time, you decide to call back and accept the offer. Maybe this could be good for you. Maybe this could help you. Maybe you’ll have a place where someone gets it. Maybe you can have a place you feel safe in. A place to belong.

But…..why is he here? You make contact with those dark eyes from the bar that seem just as surprised to see you. Does he remember you? Why the fuck is he here…?

Maybe I’ll write it one day. I’m thinking about it

[hyperbali]

This is probably going to be a long one, so under a cut it goes.

Where the hell have I been?

So last I'd been around, the main update was that Ferry and I dually worked as caretakers for an older gentleman, and remote work for a tech company. And we have been really fucking busy.

At the end of last month, the gentleman sadly passed away. We are currently in a little bit of a limbo while his kids figure out what they want to do with the house, but the son who hired us has reassured us that we're good to stay for a few more months regardless of what decision gets made.

Ferry's finally gotten to see some doctors recently, and her back injuries are such that she will likely need some kind of spinal surgery. We don't know what that's going to look like yet, or how we're even going to start planning for it around needing to move... again.

Six days before our caretaking came to a close, I received word that one of my childhood best friends and her entire family were suddenly killed in a freak accident. (Fun week.) I also have to juggle attending the funeral in the midst of all this, but have to go it alone since Ferry can't safely fly economy with her back in the state it's in.

A month before that, I had my IUD taken out after eight years, and have been experiencing what's typically called "Mirena crash" - basically my hormones don't know what to do with themselves at the moment and I'm practically having another puberty, with all the hell of my emotions and the godawful periods I had as a teenager. I was already crying practically every day before the last week of April came in like a hurricane.

As a bonus: we had tickets to see Hozier two weeks ago. That show got postponed to September thanks to the heavy rains we'd gotten that day. I did not know this until we were trying to park. I don't even know if we're still going to be in Texas by then. Lmao.

Good news is that as of last week, I'm finally getting my ADHD medicated! Considering how much more shit I need to take care of now and for the foreseeable future, thank fuck.

I really haven't been drawing much at all, exhausted as I've been - I also have Long Covid on top of all of the above that was exacerbated when we got reinfected last September, so it's really easy to get me sick in general. I'm pretty much either working or resting.

Shit's been wild. We're a bit steadier than before, and we thankfully have more resources to draw from than the previous times we've had to go through sudden upheaval, but... lmao. When it rains, it pours, etc.

So... yeah! Hope you guys have been doing well.

[simmerdowndee]

GROVE-ING TOGETHER HOLIDAY SPECIAL : DECEMBER IN ASPEN PART FOUR

Tonight, we’re having our holiday dinner. Everyone looks very nice and cozy. I am still not feeling well, in fact I feel much worse than yesterday. Everyone heads to the table and eats some small dishes before my dad brings out the feast. My mom sparks a conversation…

Dana: Oh Dakota, the girls are getting so big. We had so much fun today in the snow.

Dakota: They told me. They love spending time with grandma and grandpa.

Ellis: The boys and I had fun with our snowball fight today. Dana: You could have fun with them all the time if we moved closer… Ellis: Dana, please. Not now…

Dana: *Nods her head* Theo mouthing to Ellis: You need to talk to her…

Dana: Juni, this tableware is beautiful! Juniper: Thank you Dana. It’s actually from Windenburg as well. Dakota (being snarky): Was that brought back when Theo came home too….?

Dana: Uh..... no. I picked it up when we came to visit you guys’ years later….

It becomes silent for a bit, and then Umber starts up another conversation. While everyone is talking, I excuse myself as I feel the urge to vomit.

I think I know what’s wrong with me, but I am not 100% sure.

Theo happens to meet me in the hallway once I am out of the bathroom.

Theo: Baby, are you okay?

Dakota: Yeah, just a little nauseous. I’ll be fine. Theo: Can we talk please? Dakota: In the middle of dinner?

Theo: Yes babe. If you are going to be physically sick over this, I want to talk.

Dakota: Theo, that’s not why I am sick. Dakota: I think I am pregnant.

Theo: Really?

Dakota: I was supposed to start my period a few days ago. I figured it was just late this time around with the IUD and all. Theo: Did you test? Dakota: No, because I haven’t had time, and I don’t know where to get one here…

Theo: I saw a convenience store near the tavern we found. I can grab one tomorrow for you. Dakota: I’d appreciate that, Theo. Theo and I hear a knock at the door. Theo: Who is that? Dakota: I have no clue…

Theo and I head back to the dining room to see who’s at the door.

As we are walking in, Theo’s dad is standing at the door with another woman.

Dakota: Theo is that… Theo: I think that’s my sister… Umber: Everyone, this is Kumiko. Dakota: Holy shit, you guys are twins. Theo: For sure. Kumiko: Miko for short. Hello everyone.

Everyone stands there for about 3 seconds and then I speak up.

Dakota: We should all go sit down. Welcome.

Everyone heads back to the table, including Miko.

Dakota whispering to Theo: Your sister is so hot. She’s so, so fucking hot. Theo: That’s because she looks like me. You don’t even like women. Calm down. Dakota: I would like her… Umber: Let me introduce you to everyone. Umber: This is my wife, Juniper.

*Juniper waves*

Umber: This is Theo, our son. Miko: We’re practically twins. Theo: I agree. Umber: This is his wife, Dakota. Miko: You are incredibly beautiful. You remind me of my wife. Dakota: *Blushes* Oh, thank you. Theo rolls his eyes at Dakota. Umber: And these are her parents, Ellis and Dana. Miko: I could tell, your mother and you are stunning. Dana: *Blushes* Oh, that’s so sweet. Ellis: You two…. Theo: Tell me about it. Miko: *Laughs* Theo: So... tell us a bit about yourself? Miko: Well, I live in Mt. Komorebi with my wife, Ayan. Here’s a picture of us.

Miko passes the phone around and continues to talk.

Miko: I’m also a chef. I used to be the executive chef at Sora’s but now I own my own restaurant. Its called Ume. Theo: Wait, we ate at Sora’s during our honeymoon. It was about 8 years ago, were you there? Miko: I had just started there actually.

Dakota gets the phone to see the picture

Dakota: YOUR WIFE IS AYAN HIRAI???? Miko: *Laughs* Theo: You know of her? Dakota: She’s a fashion model and influencer. She’s so gorgeous, oh my god. Look at her!! Dakota: I had no idea she liked women. I see why though.   Theo: Holy shit, she is gorgeous. Miko: We seem to have similar taste in women, little bro. Theo: You got that right. Dakota: IS SHE HERE? CAN I MEET HER? Theo: Babe. Miko: *Laughs* she is, and of course. She wants to meet all of you as well. Dakota: *is excited* Miko: I’m excited to get to know everyone. You all seem very nice. Umber: We’re excited to get to know you too.

Juniper: What does your mother think of all this? Miko: She didn’t even want to tell me your name. Umber: I had no idea your mom was pregnant. In fact, I tried to reach out to her a few times, but she never returned any of my calls. Miko: I know. My mom refused to tell me, but my aunt did. Miko: I’m not upset with you at all. I just wanted to finally meet you.

Dakota: How about we let all of you guys talk. Mom, dad, let’s go check on the kids. Miko: I have nieces and nephews? Dakota & Theo: A BOAT LOAD OF THEM. Miko: I get it, little bro. Dakota: Your sister is so great. Theo: *Rolls his eyes*

We go and check on the kids while they talk.

Umber: Does your mother know you’re here? Miko: She does. Juniper: Is she upset with you? Miko: Yes and no. She knew I would want to find you eventually, but she wasn’t expecting me to be happy about it. Theo: Well, I’m happy you did. I’ve always wanted siblings. Now I have one. Miko: I’m excited to get to know you little brother. Miko: I’m excited to get to know all of you.

Theo and his family talk for a while, and then Miko went back to her lodge with her family and friends. My mom and dad go to their room and hash out their issues. Theo went out and got me a pregnancy test instead of waiting for it in the morning. He's clearly excited. He came back and got ready for bed.

Theo: Baby. Dakota: Hmm? Theo: Can you please come sit with me? Dakota: Sure. Theo: I know it’s bothering you babe...

Dakota: I just want us to have a good vacation Theo.

Theo: I do too, which is why I just want you to listen to me, please. Dakota *Nods* Theo: When I came home for Thanksgiving, you were honestly the first thing on my mind. Theo: I was so excited to finally see you again. I had planned to make a trip up to Copperdale so we could talk. Dakota: So, what happened? Did someone convince you not to? What stopped you? Theo: If I’m being honest, I was afraid you would reject me. Dakota: Theo, you knew that wouldn’t have happened… Theo: I honestly didn’t know how you would react to me, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to deal with it, if you did reject me…. Theo: So, I decided not to go. Dakota: I reached out to you on Thanksgiving, did you see my message? Theo: I did. I wanted to respond so badly, but I knew once I did, I wouldn’t want to stop talking to you. Dakota: *Nods* Dakota: Well, you know what, it’s fine. It was over a decade ago, and there’s no need to dwell. Theo: Baby, look at me.

Theo: I’m sorry. I should have told you. Theo: I was afraid that if I told you, you would assume I had feelings for her, and we had just got back together. I didn’t want to ruin that. I was so happy. Theo: And I didn’t have feelings for her, just so we’re clear. Dakota: I know, I believed you the first time. Theo: The whole time I was back, I did nothing but think about you, and I still regret not seeing you to this day... Theo: Are we good? I just want us to be good…

Dakota: That sounds very familiar. Theo: *Laughs*

Theo: I love you baby.

Dakota: I love you too babe.

Theo: Speaking of babies, you ready to take that test? Dakota: We should wait until tomorrow, first thing in the morning. Dakota: Can I say something without you getting mad? Theo: That also sounds familiar *Laughs* Dakota: Your sister is really hot. Like really hot. In fact, I sent a picture of her and Ayan to the group chat, and Alyse had to take Noah’s phone. Theo: All of you are horrible, and I’m not cuddling you tonight. Dakota: You aren’t going to hold me and your baby? Theo: See that’s not fair. You see what you get away with? You don’t even know if you’re pregnant. Dakota: You like it. Theo: I love it. Theo: And I love you. So much. Dakota: I love you too Theo. Dakota: Alright, let’s go to bed. Theo: Only cuddling you because you potentially have my baby in there… Dakota: Yeah mhm, whatever *laughs*

Theo and I head to bed. I’m glad we got that out the way, so we can enjoy the rest of our vacation.. Well, as much as I can depending on…

If I’m pregnant….

[deliwrites]

ℂ𝕠𝕞𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕥 𝕊𝕝𝕦𝕥 // 𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝖋𝖔𝖚𝖗 // DREAM TEAM

// DATE // 27th of March 2023 // PAIRING // DreamTeam x fem!Reader, george x fem!reader, sapnap x fem!reader, dream x fem!reader // WARNING // flirty!reader, use of real names, tease!reader, playgirl(ish)!reader, use of 'good girl', slight degration, s*x with George   // WORDS // 2,6k+ // SUMMARY // First weeks in America! Having to share the bed with the boys meant not a lot of alone time to get off. Stumbling on George looking at spicy pictures of you brings an opportunity you can not pass up. // SERIES // Intro // Part One // Part Two // Part Three // Part Four // I’m open for serie title suggestions for this one! Feel free to comment your suggestion here or sent it into my inbox!

// MASTERLIST // ANONLIST //

I think we lasted less than 5 days before we basically ran out of food. An extra stomach seems to do that. So it was grocery shopping time. The four of us gathered in Nick's car. George and I in the backseat. The tall six-foot-something idiot in the passenger seat.

"So you guys always go unprepared?" I ask when I found out no one had made a list.

"Pretty much."

"Alrighty then, next week I'm making a list," I announce, already opening my phone to make a list. For today I'll just make a list of my own necessities.

"And how do you plan on getting us to participate in the grocery list?" Nick replies smugly.

"I'll just pester you guys every single day of the week," I tell him, poking my tongue out at him. "Now, are we there yet?" I whine getting a chuckle from George.

"Sorry, Y/n, but we go grocery shopping a few towns over," clay grimaces, looking over his shoulder at me. I pout, but I understood why.

The rest of the car ride was filled with singing along with the songs clay put on. Finally finding a parking space. We enter the store with two carts. Though I had a feeling that might not be enough.

"I don't know where anything is," I state bluntly. "Can we just go lane by lane?" Thankfully they agreed. However, they would wander off from time to time. Abandoning me, only to return with random items. Some of which we definitely didn't need or could have gotten later. When we would actually get to the lane the items were from.

I focused on getting the items I wanted. Getting snacks for days. I had to have my own little snack cupboard in my office. I wouldn’t want to starve.

“Y/n,” Clay called out. He was a little further ahead in the lane. “Do you need any pads and whatnot?” He asks once I’m closer. The four of us now standing together in front of the hygiene products.

“Oh, ah, no,” I smile awkwardly. “I’ve got an IUD. No periods, nor pregnancies for me.”

“Alright,” Nick smirked. Sending a wink. Little did he know Clay and George did the same. How none of the noticed, I had no idea.

A few lanes more and we had gathered everything we needed for a week's time. Going to self-checkout, not wanting to deal with the lanes and having to talk to a cashier. I’m sure they were lovely but, eh.

Standing next to Nick while Clay and George scan the products. I lean against him, whispering in his ear. “McDonald's after this?” he doesn’t answer vocally. Instead giving me a thumbs-up with a wide grin. I clap, not able to keep my excitement in.

“What are you clapping for?” George asks, looking at me while still blindly handing shit to Clay.

“Nothing really, I’m just excited,” I tell him. “Just all of us together makes me happy,” grinning, George walks over giving me a hug.

“So are we,” Clay says, sending over a sweet smile. Nick squeezes my waist before replacing George's place. Continuing to help Clay with the groceries.

After paying for it all, we head back to the car. Somehow managing to fit everything in the back. I return the carts, hopping in the backseat with a skip in my step. Nick looks at me through the mirror as I put my seatbelt on. Sending a wink before starting the drive back. Or well to McDonald’s.

Things were surprisingly less sexual than I was expecting. I had been teasing the shit out of them for years. None of them even tried to initiate anything in the first week. There was teasing, there were kisses. But that was literally it. 

I wasn’t complaining. But with me not having my own bed yet. I wasn’t able to get off as often as I would like. The shower just wasn’t cutting it. 

Getting used to the new house was something else. Going from a small house, to a smaller apartment. To now a, what? Mansion pretty much. I may or may not have stumbled into the wrong rooms.

Once ending in Nick's room while he was changing. I had squeaked in surprise. He just chuckled coming over to give me a peck. Then nicely showing me the right way.

At least I knew how to find my bedroom. Even if there was nothing in it yet. From there I was able to navigate downstairs and the boy's rooms. Coming from any other direction I will still fuck up from time to time. 

“Hey,” I start, not knocking as I enter George's studio. “What about I make my pancakes tonight?” George jumped a little having not expected me. He turns around in his seat. Eyes wide like he had just been caught red-handed. Noticing a particular spicy picture of me on his screen.

“Whatcha looking at there, Georgie?” a smirk swiftly displaying itself on my lips. Walking closer after closing the door behind me. Taking an opportunity I couldn’t pass up. Planing myself on his lap. Turning the chair back to the screen. Seeing exactly what picture it was. It’s one of the first I sent after he left for the US.

Leaning back against his chest, turning my head to look at him. “You still look at those?” I ask smirking as a slight blush plays on his cheeks. “You’ve got the real thing now though. All you have to do is ask,” with that I plant my lips on his, the angle, a little awkward. Though, it seemed to give him enough confidence. Moving his hands from the stiff position on the armrests. One wrapped around my waist, the other landing on my thigh. 

“Well it’s not like we’ve had much private time since you’ve arrived,” he states, matter-of-factly. Giggling, I agreed.

“I mean, this room is soundproof, is it not?”

“What are you suggesting?” The arm around my waist tightened. The hand on my thigh, slid carefully along my inner thigh.

My hands find the hem of my longsleeved, crop top. Swiftly, pulling it off, throwing it somewhere behind us. Surprising him more when he notices, I wasn’t wearing anything underneath. My nipples pebbled up in excitement.

“Jesus, you’re trying to kill me.”

“No, what I’m trying is to get you to fuck me,” I state simply. Grinning his lips trace kisses from my lips to my cheek. The hand on my waist ghosts my skin as it comes to cup my left breast. Thumb immediately caressing the very much hard pebble. Lips continuing their way down, trailing pecks down my neck, gently nicking the skin with bites. Lips continuing their way down, trailing paths down my neck, gently nicking the skin with bites. His right hand spread my thighs. The skirt I was wearing riding up the fabric of my panties, coming into view.

“Be a good girl and take your panties off for me,” quickly doing as told. Lifting my hips, just enough to take them off. 

Lowering myself back down, the tent in his sweats becoming blatantly obvious. The moment I was settled, his hands return to their places. The hand between my thighs, cupping my sex. 

Index and middle finger of spreading my lips. The cold breeze from the AC has my breath hitching. A smirk on George’s lips can be felt against my neck.

“So wet already,” voice, slightly muffled. Slick covered his fingers teasing my entrance. Thumb finding its place on my clit. A squeak in surprise, leaving my lips at the contact.

With a squeeze of my nipple, his pointy finger slowly pushed inside. A soft moan, escaping from the intrusion. The feeling of someone else’s hands being so different from my own. So much better. Starting off with slow movements, his fingers started thrusting.

“Another,” I mumble, knowing I can handle more. Always having enjoyed a bit of a stretch. Listening to my demand. His middle finger quickly joins his pointy finger. The slight stretch has me sighing in contentment.

Fingers making curling motions, combined with scissoring and thrusting. More moans were spilling, than I was expecting. Normally being able to hold in my moans quite well.

“Ah.. so good,” I try to voice my delight. Twitching in George’s hold.

“So, noisy,” George smirks evilly, biting into my shoulder. Earning another moan from me. “Lean your feet against the desk for me?” while he keeps thrusting his fingers at a faster pace.

It leaves me breathless but eventually, I managed to put my legs up.

“Had to make it difficult for me huh ?” I ask brattily. A quick smack of his thumb on my clit has me closing my legs, as a reflex, trapping his hand. Though it doesn’t stop his hands from making curling motions inside me, hitting my g-spot head-on.

“Payback for being a teasing little mix” the hand that was playing with my nipples squeezed my jaw possessively, turning my face to his to look at him, connecting our lips in a heated kiss. His fingers started to move faster, matching the kisses as moans start spilling from my mouth into his, teeth clenching from time to time. His ring finger joins his first adding to the stretch, the building of my orgasm becoming more and more evident. The friction of the palm of his hand against my clit only causing a faster build up.

“Fuck me please”, I’m not entierly sure what I’m asking for. It could be an even quicker pace, my release or even for him to just fuck me already.

“What do you want, baby?” George seems just out of breath as I am. Though, just before I get the chance to answer, my orgasm rips through me, my moans becoming so high pitched it becomes a silent scream. Legs twitching as I almost lose my footing on the desk slamming my legs shut, but George keeps moving, only slowing down when I stop twitching as much, jolting as he pulls out his fingers.

“God, such a messy girl”. I don’t know how he managed with me. Still recovering from my high on top of him but his sweats come off. A quiet groan leaving his lips as his shaft hits my folds, the tip hitting my clit has me jolt again in slight overstimulation.

“Ready for more ?” my brain, still too hazy to vocally reply, my reply coming out as a mewl. An evil chuckle coming from George.

He places his arms under my thighs, lifting me up enough to align his length with my entrance. Slipping in so smoothly, almost like I haven’t been cock starved for a good while. A sigh of pure content left my lips. Finally being deliciously filled up, “George” is the only thing I manage to utter.

“What do you want, love ?” he asks gently, still lowering me down on him the rest of the way, my walls fluttering around him desperately. I basically fall limp in his hold when he bottoms out. “That good?” he chuckles. Nodding and humming in agreement is the only thing my brain is capable of. He buries his face into the crook of my neck,  leaving a gentle bite right there, trying so hard not to actually leave a mark while he relishes in the moment, feeling my velvety walls wrapped around him.

“God, you feel so good” he voiced his thoughts, stroking my inner thighs leaving me shuddering, my walls clenching subconsciously around him, clamping around him with need. George seems to realise, lifting me back up and down, my breath hitching at the amazing feeling of being filled. It was hard to explain exactly what it felt like. The least I can say is that vocabulary no longer exists. Trying my best to position my legs, doing anything I can to make the rise and fall easier on him. Turning a little bit to the side, I wrap an arm around his shoulders to  keep me steady while his hands move to my hips instead. Using the space next to his thoughts to rest my feet on, a whimper escaped me at the new ache that ran through my thighs, biting my bottom lip at the deep and slow thrust.

“Fuck” I mumble slowly trying to speed up the pace. George’s heavy breathing itching me on. The feeling of his pulsing member inside of me felt so good. The drag along my walls left me shuddering. A hand on my hip made a trail up my body squeezing my breast along the way, pinching my nipple just to get a squeaked moan out of me before cupping my face, getting me to look at him. Connecting our lips in a heated kiss, his tongue quickly coming to swipe across my bottom lip, smirking a little before granting access. Tongues fighting, my hips slowly coming to a stop mid air as he tries to win the battle. Though, he quickly distracts me. Suddenly he starts to thrust his hips upwards at such a speed that has me gasping for air. I can feel a smirk play on his lips. The hand that’s still on my hip, teasingly slow, his fingers dance across my skin as they trace my pubic bone making it seem like he’s going to touch my clit. Only it never comes, sliding past a few times.

“George” I whine pathetically, looking down between my legs, watching his fingers skim. “Please, I need it” I croak breathlessly.

“Alright baby” he seems just as breathless as me, fingers finally settling on my clit, rubbing gentle circles across it. Thrusts seem to fasten, as do the fingers. My body trying to get away, all the while enjoying it. “Don’t fight it” George smirks. His voice a lot deeper than usual, I could feel his dick twitching inside me subconsciously squeezing around him. “Gonna cum” he almost growls grasping for air, so close to my second release. Broken moans leaving my lips, trying to nod as if to say the same. Rolling my hips with thrusts, like a rush of electricity my orgasm runs through me, throwing my head back against his shoulder. A high moan escaping as I pretty much go lax in his hold. His arms wrap around me, tightly, his dick pumping me full in the best way.

 Both out of breath, slowly coming down from our highs.

“You don’t happen to have a towel here do you?” I voice after a while of us just breathing. Basically cuddled together, George chuckles at my sudden request.

“Not a towel, no” he says starting to move the chair, a whimper leaving my lips as the movement makes him move inside of me. Rolling over to a set of drawers, pulling out toilet paper.

“Of course” I chuckle, slowly positioning my aching legs on the floor. Rising from my seat, sighing in content as he slips it out of me. Quickly following up with some folded toilet paper, catching the cum that started dripping out of me, having to keep up my skirt in the meantime. George cleans himself up in the same way, pulling his boxers and sweats back up. Getting up from the chair, he grabs my shirt and panties, kneeling in front of me like I’m a toddler he has to dress. Chuckling, I finish wiping myself down, throwing the toilet paper in the bin. Using his shoulder I stop into the panties letting him pull them up, pecking my knees and thighs on the way up, surprising me with a peck on my slightly glistening folds.

Grinning as he stands up once my panties are back in place, leaving a sweet smooch on my lips before also helping me with my crop-top. Once fully dressed, George sits back in the chair and pulls me back onto his lap. This time seated sideways, cuddled into his chest lazily. Rolling the chair back  to the desk, we end up just watching some YouTube videos. Though I don’t know how long it took me to fall asleep.

// SERIES // Intro // Part One // Part Two // Part Three // Part Four // I’m open for serie title suggestions for this one! Feel free to comment your suggestion here or sent it into my inbox!

// MASTERLIST // ANONLIST //

[banguette]

Remember Me Once More | Ted Shackleford (The Man in The Yellow Hat) x f. Reader

description: He stayed. You left. 6 years after your last meeting, a game of circumstance lands you in the same room as him - and his monkey. With 2 weeks of working in close proximity, things are bound to come to light. The question is, how will he perceive it?

word count: 14.7k

warnings: they are both idiots!!! who are in love!!! angsty feelings, cursing a lot of talk of canada and the us as well as culinary schools (i did my research but i'm not from either of those places so pls forgive me if some things are wrong), some words are in italian because the pisghettis, awkward conversations, ted is a nerdy dilfy hotshot museum director, reader is a chef, sex fantasies (a LOT of them), they get trapped in a room, many many apologies, flashbacks to college, it's never explained but ted calls oc chowder, oc has two moms because we love diversity, brief mention of 'the office' and julius the monkey, sweet confessions, SO MUCH KISSING!!, cheesy lines are exchanged, boners, ted has a big virgin dick, experienced reader, oral sex (male and female recieving), a bit of a hair kink, clit play, ted is a bit too excited sometimes, bickering like they're an old married couple, reader has an iud, unprotected sex (do not try!! i repeat, do not try!!), several orgasms, creampies (yes, creampieS), missionary, riding, they act like horny teenagers, ted's butt deserves its own warning so here it is, brief mentions of bath sex, old wounds finally heal, the three of them are basically a family, public speaking, y/n is a bit unhinged, more sweet confessions, allusions to exhibition (pls keep in mind this is my first smut fic, be kind!!)

cover by: me (illustrations featured belong to their rightful owners)

note: I do not regret this book nor do I condone it. Fueled by Ted TikToks, inspired by 'Maroon' by Taylor Swift and 'Don’t You Remember?' by Adele.

Ted Shackleford was not a malevolent person.

Ask anyone and everyone who knew him; he was the last person to hold a grudge against anyone. His monkey had flooded his apartment - thrice! But his response every time he discovered George scratching his head uncomfortably and awkwardly giggling amid the soapy bubbles and rubber duckies surrounding him was to just sigh before proceeding to clean the place.

But you? You were a different story. Every time he recalls the blurry memory of you walking away from him - the last time he ever saw you - he only vividly remembers the anger bubbling up inside his chest. He only remembers the deep frown etched on his face, and the furrowing of his eyebrows as he dug his nails into his palm. Was it selfish to only recall what he felt at that moment, rather than the sight of you hurriedly making your way to your plane without sparing him another glance? To look back on perhaps the most significant turning point in his life and only focus on his emotions rather than figuring out why you left in the first place?

He didn't know. And, to be quite frank, a part of him doesn't care. Altruism was his one principle in life and constantly bent over backward 24/7 to make everyone happy; surely he could afford to be unkind in this one avenue.

But...

Some nights - including tonight - he thinks of the other memories you shared. That elementary school Halloween party, where you warned him that he was going to get teased relentlessly for dressing up as Percy Shelley (whom he was weirdly obsessed with back then), but come the day you surprised everyone by strolling in as Mary - Frankenstein plush and all in your hand. Yeah, you both still got ridiculed by all the Scooby-Doos and Rugrats in your class, but no bullying could have deterred the warmth he felt inside when you leaned over and whispered, "It's either both of us or none of us."

There was also that day in freshman year when you guys cycled through town, the sun setting behind you as you rushed home to make it in time for curfew. How you'd tripped over a train track and he'd tried his best to clean and dress the small gash on your knee, and how you looked at him as if he'd hung up the stars in the sky to accompany the moon when he matched his pace to yours and made it home extremely late. He'd gotten scolded, but it didn't matter. Not as long as you were safe. Besides, all was forgiven when you presented him with a history book in addition to his favorite cookies over a week later. The book inspired him to pursue history and eventually landed him a career as a museum director at the Met. Without you, he doesn't know how he wouldn't have gotten here.

It's that exact realization, however, that causes him to shift to his side on the bed and shake off all thoughts of you. He was approaching 30, for god's sake, and had a life to think about now rather than you; the one that got away. He lists them all in his head: a rambunctious monkey not even the age of 3, the meeting he has tomorrow for his new gallery opening, his friends... If it meant that, to focus, he had to drown out his thoughts (and the feeling of your soft lips pressing against his that one time) to the sound of George peacefully snoring in the room beside him, then so be it.

You had to remain in the past because Ted doesn't have space for you in his future.

The last thing you want to be confronted with after your tedious 6-hour flight to New York City is bitter coffee, but of course, that is what you get. The minute the foul-tasting liquid grazes your taste buds you spit it out onto the pavement, where the crowds don't even bother reacting to your gross public act of self-humiliation. It is at that moment when you truly feel like you are in New York, never mind the countless welcoming posters you'd seen passing through the airport. Being back in America after half a dozen years abroad felt dizzying - like something you'd spent so long carrying with you around British Columbia had finally lifted itself from your shoulders when you landed. You finally felt at home.

That being said, you weren't here for good just yet. Everything that you owned was still tied up in your apartment back in Vancouver, it depended on the outcome of your upcoming interview on whether or not you'd be moving here permanently. In the meantime, you'd spend the next few days here exploring the Apple; it's unlikely, but perhaps you could secure some last-minute Broadway tickets, or take a gander through the Central Park Zoo, or maybe even go to the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Right now though, the coffee had done nothing and you were more focused on getting to your hotel and crashing into the comfortable bed. Jetlag was a bitch, but it was one you were willing to give into.

After checking in, the concierge handed you a bunch of pamphlets on things to do while you're in New York before smiling and sending you on your way. Leaning against the elevator wall, luggage in tow, you flipped through them. You stop at the Met's in particular; despite being a culinary student, a dear old friend had gotten you somewhat interested in history and museums have kind of drawn you in since. You unfolded the paper, glazing your tired eyes over the words, briefly looking over the pictures.

Until you spot a familiar face staring back at you.

In your confusion, you bring the paper closer to your face. Surely it couldn't be - oh my god, it is. Your 'dear old friend' was right there on the paper, smiling and beckoning you to visit with a small monkey on his shoulder. Right as the elevator pinged, you folded the paper and removed the picture from your sight. Slight change of plans, you thought internally as you walked towards your hotel room. Maybe you wouldn't be visiting the Met after all.

"George! I'm home!" Ted yelled, walking inside and setting his keys into the designated bowl, and hanging his hat up on the hook. The day had been grueling, some cuddles with his favorite non-human in the world were all he was looking forward to. George was equally as excited to catch the man in the yellow hat up on his day; he'd spent his time playing with Hundley and one of the things they did together was making a mess in George's bedroom. Ted groaned, muttered 'I'll clean this up later,' under his breath before scooping the primate up in his arms and settling down on the couch. Together, they watched a few episodes of the show they'd started before Ted left to go shower.

As the water trickled down his body and he lathered the shampoo onto his hair, Ted recounted key points from his meeting. The new Invention of Cooking exhibit would be one of their grandest yet; aside from collecting hundreds of utensils, tools, and recipes from all around the world and from different points in history, they would also be flying in top culinary experts and food history enthusiasts for the opening. Having so many people come in and also having the entire gallery focused on food itself meant that they would have to bring caterers in, and obviously, Ted knew no one better to perform the task than the Pisghettis. He'd have to drop by their restaurant after work tomorrow to discuss the appetizers, main course, and dessert platters that they'd be serving. Aside from that, there were still a bajillion other things to do and only a month left to do it. He was losing his mind the more often he was left alone with it.

Once he got out, he tied a towel along his waist and ran another through his hair before making his way to the kitchen to make dinner. He only needed to heat up what he'd made the day before anyway, so he split the leftovers into two bowls and threw them in the microwave. While it was in there, he changed into his loose sleeveless shirt paired with his boxers; all his signature yellow. He made his way back to the kitchen before calling George over, and they made light conversation as they ate.

Later on in the evening, when Ted had read him his favorite bedtime story and tucked him into bed, he clambered onto the balcony and started to water his mini-garden. Halfway into this routine, he paused and looked beyond the railings to the brightly lit streets below him. In combination with the chill air, it was enough to make even the toughest day seem so distant from where he was now. Keyword: was. Ted had originally purchased the apartment solely for the view, but now he just felt lonely gazing down at it. He wished he had someone to share it with. There was always George, and he wouldn't trade that little guy for anything, but you could only converse with a monkey so many times. He longed for someone to be by his side, to have deep conversations, and also to joke around with. Someone who could do more than nod and make a few, albeit cute, sounds.

His mind flickers to an image of you for a millisecond. Then, he finishes watering all the plants and shuffles towards his cold, empty bed for another night.

You knock on the door anxiously, your gaze focused on the couple sitting at the dinner table in front of you. "Excuse me, I'm here for the interview?"

"Ah, you must be Y/N!" Netti, as you learn her name to be, says as she leads you to where her husband is sitting. "How was the flight, dear? Thank you for visiting on such short notice."

You wave her off, "My pleasure, I've been meaning to visit here anyway. You guys did me a favor!" Uh-oh. Was that too much? Possibly too little? They didn't seem to mind, both of them making polite conversation with you as Chef Pisghetti contentedly petted the kitten on his lap. They were extremely nice, you'd noted. Much better than some of the past bosses you'd had. At least, you'd hope they would be your bosses. Another thing you noticed was how each time one was speaking, the other would put their undivided attention on them and their eyes shone with adoration. It showed just how comfortable and in love they were with each other, and a fuzzy feeling filled your chest.

"Let's get into business, Y/N," Pisghetti says once the conversation fizzles out. "Your resume's extremely impressive; 4 years of school in Le Cordon Bleu and The Culinary Arts School of Ontario? Apprenticeship at the CN Tower? Ammazza! You're brilliant!" He grins sheepishly and you smile back in return. "I have one question though," He makes an inquisitive face.

"Yes?" Stress builds in your chest, scared of what was to come.

He throws his hands in the air excitedly. "When can you start?"

That's how you find yourself getting a pseudo-training session from the two for the rest of the time. The restaurant was closed for the day, so you got to learn the layout of their kitchen, how Pisghetti cannot accept anything less than perfection (which suits you fine anyway being a perfectionist yourself), and even take a tour through their spectacular rooftop garden. A lush green farm amidst the busy streets of New York, could you imagine? Most importantly of all, you learn about Gnocchi, the Pisghetti's kitten. The cutie had been saved from a tree by one of their firefighter friends a few months back, and once the pair had seen her they couldn't look back. Gnocchi was now part of their routine and soon would be a part of yours too. Everything revolved around the spoiled but loveable creature.

By the time it rolled around to half past 5, the Pisghetti's handed you some food so you wouldn't have to spend another day eating cup noodles and microwaveable mac and cheese and allowed you to hang your apron up. However, just as you said your goodbyes and were about to walk through the kitchen door, you heard a jingle come from the main dining area. "That's weird," You said to Netti and the chef went out to greet whoever came by. "Weren't you guys closed?"

"Don't worry about it tesoro mio, it's probably our friends. They told us they were going to drop by."

You nodded your head and hugged Netti one last time before making your way to the front entrance. At first, the odd and lanky yellow shape didn't register as anything familiar in your peripheral vision. It was only when the figure turned around to acknowledge you that you felt the wind get knocked out of your lungs. Your mouth felt dry and your knees felt weak as your eyes snagged onto those of the man in front of you. You felt zaps from his staring register in your brain, sending tingles down your spine to the tips of your toes.

Who knew that after so long, Ted Shackleford would still have the same effect on you?

It was strange. He always thought that, if he saw you again, he'd feel the same anger and resentment as he did when you left. But as your eyes connect and lock onto yours, all he feels is the sharp pain of old wounds reopening. An eternal flame of longing was reignited within him, surrounded by a moat of suffering.

After picking George up from Professor Wiseman's office after work, they made the journey to the Pisghetti's diner so that he could muck around for a bit with Gnocchi and Ted could discuss the menu for the opening with the chef. He'd called in beforehand to ask them if he should drop by the apartment or the restaurant, and they told him they'd be in the latter. Something about an interview with a girl who flew in? He didn't know. Forget pushing it to the back of his head, he'd thrown the piece of information out completely.

Pushing through the red door, the duo was soon joined by Pisghetti. George soon ran off once he spotted Gnocchi, making happy little monkey noises while doing so, whereas Ted settled down with Pisghetti and they had a light banter. "Like I was saying, Chef," Ted said. "I want you to go all out with this. Give it the full Pisghetti treatment. I'm thinking maybe 5 courses if you're up for it, some cleansers in between."

The cook nodded excitedly as he launched into his plan. "I've already been testing for this one recipe - I'll probably serve it as an appetizer - something I'm calling my giardino sliders. Oh, you'll love it! È magnifico!"

Had it not been for him keeping an eye out for George, he probably wouldn't have noticed the figure quietly making her way out of the kitchen. But he did. And once his eyes spotted her, his face turned to her and his jaw dropped. Pisghetti was unbothered at first, but once he realized the other wasn't responding anymore, his head shot up and he looked between the two of you, not sending the tension. "Ah, Y/N, this is Ted. He's a friend of mine. Teddy, this is Y/N - our new hire." He paused for a moment. "Hey, since she's going to help me make all of this anyway, maybe Y/N should join us here. What do you think?" Before either could reply, Netti called her husband from the kitchen and he shuffled his way to her.

Then, for the first time in 6 years, you and Ted Shackleford were in the same room together.

It was the latter that first broke the ice. "Y/N..."

"Please don't say anything." You mumble out, clearly uncomfortable as you shift from one leg to the other.

Ted's heart sank. He'd say this is not how he'd envisioned your reunion, but that would mean he'd have to admit he imagined it in the first place.

"I'm sorry, so sorry, that sounded rude as hell." You say, shaking your head. "I mean, please don't tell Chef Pisghetti anything. I really, really need this job, Ted." You stared at him with your pleading eyes. Ted could only nod in return.

"Um, anyway. How- how are you?" You say, biting your lip.

"Good. Uh, I'm a museum director now. At the Met. Metropolitan Museum. Of Art." He choked out, barely being able to form a coherent thought.

"Yeah, I saw a picture. You had a monkey in your hands and said something about coming by for an exciting afternoon."

"That's George, he's actually mine. In fact, he's around here somewhere. Where'd he go? George?"

After a few seconds, you felt a tug at the hem of your dress. You looked down to see the young simian from the pamphlet happily meeting your sight before rushing to sit on Ted's lap. "I adopted him about 2 years ago, he's been with me since." He said while George nuzzled into the man's arms (is it logical to be jealous of a monkey?).

You genuinely grin, "He's sweet. Wasn't expecting you to have a monkey but I guess it makes sense."

"I really don't think you have a clue about who I am." He replied, almost snappily. His eyes widen as he realizes the implications of his words.

Silence. Your heart pounded inside of your chest.

Chef Pisghetti thankfully walked in at that moment, "Mi dispiace, Netti was having some trouble with one of the recipes - or rather, some trouble reading my handwriting." He giggled to himself. "Anyway, Y/N, I've kept you waiting long enough. You can go, I understand you're tired. You can join us for another meeting, see you tomorrow. Ciao!" He said.

Nodding your head meekly and uttering out a soft 'thanks', you hurried out of there. You weren't tired, actually, but you couldn't stand being around Ted for another second. Could this get any worse?

Lucky for you, Ted didn't come back the next day. The entire week, really. Or the next. George would pop by from time to time, with you quickly getting fond of the silly guy, but his owner (dad?) was nowhere to be seen. Maybe it was for the best. You don't need to be digging up any trauma, especially right now.

This good luck streak would end when Pisghetti asked you to hand deliver a parcel. To Ted. At the Met. It was cruel, how life was treating you. After two weeks of blissfully testing and experimenting with recipes once the restaurant had closed, fate had decided you were having too much of a fun time and sent down a terrible idea to shake things up a little, knowing you couldn't say no. You sigh as you hold the large box in your hands and climbed up the steps, hoping to get it over and done with as quickly as possible. It was once again after 5 and you craved nothing but the leftovers in the fridge (nowadays, you prefer to leave the cooking at work) and the new season of your favorite show.

"Excuse me, ma'am," An old white man dressed in an even whiter lab coat approached you. "No food allowed on the premises, please."

"Ah, I'm afraid there's been a misunderstanding," You say, reasoning with him. "These are for Ted. Ted Shackleford? I believe he's the director?"

The man nodded his head in understanding, "Ah, yes! You must be the Pisghettis' new girl. Sorry for not realizing sooner, I'm Alvin Einstein. No relation to the big one, unfortunately. This way!" He said, leading you through some smaller almost unnoticeable doors along the wall to get to the director's office faster.

"Correct me if I'm wrong but you must not be local if you don't know who Ted is," Alvin pointed out as he ushered you inside the employee elevator. "Not that he's that well-known but people do recognize him in these parts."

"Yeah, I just came here from Ontario." You say in response, focusing on the ascending numbers as you got closer and closer to his office. "Started the job about two weeks ago."

Alvin nodded, briefly told you about the time he visited Ontario with his wife, and when the elevator reached its destination bid you off. "To the left!" He said. "You wouldn't miss it!" You face that direction as the doors of the lift close behind you and see a big door next to a plaque emblazoned with the words 'Director's Office - Theodore Shackleford' in gold. He was right, you couldn't miss it no matter how much you wanted to. You walk over and lift your hand, knocking once, twice, thrice.

You wait for a heartbeat before a faint 'Come in,' is heard from inside. You open the door and come face to face with Ted, sitting only a few feet away behind his giant desk with his reading glasses on his face. For one tiny split second that you would take to your grave, you imagine sucking him off underneath it as he takes an important call - beads of sweat trickling down his forehead as his glasses fog up - he'd clench his jaw, desperate to not moan and ruin your cover. God, he looked so fucking hot in his seat, even the absurd yellow suit draping over his curves and muscles deliciously.

His words snap you out of reality. "Oh, I'm sorry. I was expecting the Chef, I would've cleaned up a bit more had I known it was you. Come, sit. You're just in time for, err, linner?" He motions toward the seat in front of him, taking off his glasses to your disappointment.

You are about to protest when Ted shrugs you off. "Listen, I- I wanted to apologize. That was really rude of me to snap at you like that. You know that I'm not that type of person." He says, fiddling his thumbs.

"It's okay. Really, I wanted to thank you."

"Thank me?"

"For not telling the Chef anything. I don't really want to go back to Ontario; I'm kind of dreading picking up all my stuff. Had you said anything about our history, I could have been let go. I mean, he's your friend. He'd do anything to make you happy."

"Y/N," he sighed, rubbing his temples. Despite his tone, hearing him say your name was a treat in itself as if he'd coated it in everything that is good in this world before presenting it to you. "You know I'd never do that. And neither would he, I think. He's my friend but he'd be crazy to give up such a talented person as you."

Your heart fluttered, and you gave a small smile. Realizing his confession, he coughed and pointed to the bags. "So, what have you got for me?"

You walk him through the meals that had been prepared, sharing all the ingredients and ideas that culminated in them. You don't notice how he barely looks at the food and focuses on you instead. Eventually, he calls George in to try the food and even convinces you to have a few bites. Most of the time you talk about the kid;- mostly about how cheeky he is. He tells you how he once got stuck on the subway for the entire day, making Ted run all around New York to find him, but even moments like those are worth it because the bond between them is unbreakable. You found it endearing and secretly wished you got the same opportunity - a second chance to love Ted as freely as you did before, or at least could have.

George left as soon as you guys finished, already having arranged a playdate and sleepover with Charkie for that day. As he left, your minds were too buzzed from being in each other's company for the entire evening that you barely acknowledged the click behind you as you packed away. Ted had loved everything but gave a few notes here and there that you'd have to take up with Pisghetti. You beam warmly at Ted, giving your thanks once more before grabbing the door handle.

You tugged. Nothing.

You tugged again. Still nothing.

Third time in and you were panicking. Realizing your distress, Ted walked over (was his scent always this intoxicating?) and gave it a try himself before he outwardly groaned. "Crap." he said, "The doors automatically lock after 6 for security measures, George doesn't know that. It's stupid, I've been meaning to change it. Ugh. It just - it just became second nature to me you know?" He ran his fingers through his hair. You had to stop yourself from reaching out and playing with his tousled strands. On the other hand, he marched over to his desk and punched a few numbers in, and spoke firmly but politely into the phone. He was met with a disappointing response on the other end, causing a frown to settle on his face. After pleading for a bit more, he eventually returns the handset back in place. "I'm sorry, Y/N."

"Why, what's the verdict?"

"They can't get us out until 7 AM. We're going to have to spend the night here."

Nothing about this was ideal. You were sprawled over on the pull out couch, your back facing him as you try your hardest to fall asleep. Meanwhile, he'd have to periodically pull his eyes from your serene figure and try to focus on getting comfortable on the floor. He shouldn't be complaining, he'd practically forced you to take the bed. Still, being 28 meant that he didn't have the same body as he did when he was 18. He was definitely going to feel this tomorrow.

That being said, Ted doesn't know if he'd really call it unfortunate. When you'd started to leave, Ted was about to reach out and ask you to stay, to take a stroll with him. Reminisce about the past. Talk about why you left and why it felt like you took a piece of him with you. Anything. He just wanted to be near you. It had been so long. His nervous prayers were answered when the door refused to open. Sure, you weren't talking, but your presence itself was soothing.

He heard you shifting where you were laying down and looked over to see you staring at the ceiling, clearly unable to sleep. "Can't sleep?" he asks, giving in to temptation.

Your eyes quickly snap to him, and he feels them glaze over his chest. The suit was not at all comfortable to sleep in, so he'd loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt a little. He hadn't realized how it made him look seductive but seeing the way your eyes widened as you looked him up and down did cause pink to bloom on his cheeks and ears.

"Uh... sorry, what did you say?"

"Can't sleep?"

You lick your lips. "Um, yeah. Today's been a long day and it doesn't seem to be over anytime soon."

"I understand. Hey, sorry about this mess. This was not the way I envisioned this evening."

"Didn't you say you didn't know I was coming?" You say, giggling.

"You know what I meant!" He chuckles in return. "Is the couch uncomfortable? I haven't slept on it in a while, might be a bit stiff."

"Oh, don't worry about it. It's fine, I'm just restless." A blanket of silence covers you again, but this time it's not awkward. You move to sit properly on the couch, essentially telling him you're available to talk.

"We talked a lot about George while we were eating," Ted says first. "However I still don't have a clue about what you were up to when you were in Ontario. How've you been?"

"Well, I did two years at Le Cordon Bleu, but in my 3rd year I decided to transfer." You begin. "Partly because I wasn't meshing well with the other students and partly because; well, I could. I'd been offered a scholarship from CASO, so I did my last two years there. It sucks though, I really thought it would be my alma mater. I bought an apartment but after a year I fell out of love with it and soon I fell out of love with the entire province. So, I applied for the sous chef role in Pisghetti's and, well. Here I am."

"I'm sorry Le Cordon Bleu wasn't like what you'd seen in Julie & Julia - still don't understand what you see in it by the way -"

"Hey! Leave me alone."

" - But, I'm proud of you, Y/N. Your talent overshadowed our town."

You're left dumbfounded. "That's so sweet. Thank you. Truly." You say, playing with your hair. How could he say probably the nicest words you've ever received despite what you did? Surely Ted couldn't be that nice.

"What about you? I knew you were going places but I didn't expect you to end up here so soon." You inquisitively ask.

He scratches the back of his head. "It was all luck, really. I started off as an intern, but the previous director took notice of me and took me under his wing. I've been here for, what, 4 years now?"

"You were only 24?! Jesus, you must be the youngest museum curator ever. Why're you watering your accomplishments down?"

"Ha, I was far from the youngest. I believe that title belongs to a 5-year-old?"

"What? Wow." You say, bewildered. "Hey, isn't George under 3? Maybe you could help him beat both that record and be the first monkey to do so."

"That's - that's actually not that bad of an idea." He says, daydreaming about how chaotic that would be to even approach.

You take your chance. "I've been meaning to ask... what's with the yellow? You were never a big fan of the color growing up."

He falls shy. "It's going to sound really stupid, but I purposely tried to make myself look like a banana so that George would come to like me faster. Professor Einstein told me we associate ourselves with other objects better when we have a pre-established bond with them. I still don't know if he was trying to get a joke out of me, but I guess it worked. Look, the brown boots are meant to be the stem, and the polka dot tie is meant to be the seeds."

You make an 'Ahh' sound, realizing why he'd paired the odd combination together. "That's really smart, wow. But George loves you now, why keep wearing it?"

"I guess I haven't found the time to shift back." He replied, shrugging.

"We'll have to change that. Also, Julie & Julia is a very good movie thank you very much."

He gives you a lopsided grin in response. His gaze stays on your face. The silence envelops you both once more. You both stare into each other as if there were no other people in the world, your eyes sharing words that were hard to put out into the real world. "I missed you." he finally says. "I missed you like crazy, Y/N."

"I missed you too." You say, hesitantly. More than he could ever know.

"Why did you leave? You never gave me a real answer."

"It's complicated-"

"You seriously cannot say you expect to stroll back into my life like you never left after breaking my heart like that." He says, his voice getting firmer as he scoots closer to you. "I- I deserve better. You know I do. I deserve an answer."

A sigh escapes you. The truth had to come out one way or another.

6 years ago, you had an epiphany. You remember exactly where you were; Econ 101, senior year of college. Your mind was in a distant land even as you stared at the professor's whiteboard, but by the end of class, you'd come to a decision. This would be your last year doing anything related to economics; you were going to go to culinary school.

It wasn't that you were particularly bad at the subject, your heart just wasn't in it. Every day when you walked into school, all you wished to do was go back to the 4 walls of your kitchen;- smell the aroma as the onions carmelized on the pan, the repeated action of the knife chopping through different vegetables, the sizzle of the wok as you added oil to it. You wouldn't find your heart calculating the GDP or GNP bullcrap, it would always be there at home standing in front of the stove figuring out what seasonings the meal needed.

The moment the realization hit you, you rushed to your shared dorm with Ted. You know he'd stayed at home today and wasted no time in letting him be the first one to know of your new decision. He's a bit surprised to see not just you but the frazzled expression on your face, but ushers you inside anyway. You unload everything that was on your mind from the last hour onto him and eagerly wait to hear what he thinks.

"I think," He says, stroking his chin. "You should do it."

"Are you sure? You don't think it's too late? I mean, 4 years of my life have gone into this already."

"Don't forget this is the rest of your life, chowder. I'd much rather you do something you actually love rather than something you only picked because of convenience."

"I don't know, Ted... It's in Canada. I'll be there for a long time, too."

He reached out to grab your hands, your cheeks turning a shade of pink that you hope would go unnoticed by him. "Y/N. You've always been there for me, and I can't thank you enough for it. Let me be the same for you. It doesn't matter how long, or how much, or whatever - as long as you're happy. Take the leap, apply for Le Gordon Blah-blah." You grin, lost in his cheerful eyes.

That was the push you needed to finally tip yourself over the edge. He was by your side when you repeated the same process with your moms (slightly less rambly this time). They were skeptical at first - who wouldn't be? - but eventually accepted that this was your life and you were more than capable enough to handle it. He was also by your side when you applied for the program. He'd helped you write and rewrite your application several times, batting your hand away from your mouth every time you got the urge to bite your nails. Bless his heart, he even clicked on the upload button when you got too scared to.

When you were accepted, it was his arms you ran to. Ted has always been your number-one supporter, hasn't he?

Of course, with only a few classes left to go before you got handed your degree, you decided to stick around for the final exams. It was pretty funny to compare your calm and serene mood compared to your friends who were freaking the absolute hell out - most of all, Ted. He completely forgot that self-care was a thing, spending hours hunched over his history textbooks and going for hours without food. His reading glasses were on him 24/7 - not that you minded. Still, you had to step in for him at that moment; prepping his meals, dragging him to bed, and massaging his back every time it started to hurt. He kept on thanking you, but you brushed them off. It was honestly the least you could do, and you knew he would do the same for you.

One night, you dragged him from his studies to watch The Office with you. "It'll help your brain relax a bit. You can't keep cramming everything into your brain." He grunts but complies anyway, resting his head on your shoulder while Jim and Dwight plan Kelly's birthday. It's more background noise, really, as your focus is more on him instead of their on-screen antics. You hear his breathing slow down and his eyelids flutter shut. You tread your hands through his soft hair, knowing that it always helps lull him to sleep.

Soon enough, you notice how you're synchronizing your breathing to his. It amuses you at first, but a bolt of fear strikes your entire body. This time next year - heck, in just a few months, actually - you wouldn't have the chance to do this. Yes, you weren't going that far - Canada was literally the next country. But it was still a 6-hour flight, and it was still a 3-hour time difference. And it's not like you could come over every so often or expect him to - that would create a huge dent in the already little savings you had. Could these moments be your last with Ted for at least the next 4 years? Your glossy eyes turn to Ted's stoic sleeping face.

Maybe you'll allow yourself to be brave just this once.

Slowly shifting yourself to face him, you bring yourself closer. Your mouth ghosts his, your breath fanning over his skin. You stay that way for a few heartbeats, contemplating whether or not this was a good idea. You inch in closer and closer until your lips brush over his...

And that's when you feel his hands frame your cheeks, his face crashing into yours. Your brain doesn't absorb the shock of him not only being awake but also kissing you back at first but caution is thrown into the winds as you pull him closer. Soon your back hits the sofa below and he's over you, desperate to reach each and every crevice of your mouth. You tilt your face to allow him to get deeper, hands over his to hold him in place because you were scared he was going to pull away. His glasses knock into your face but neither of you seems to notice.

When Ted closed his eyes, he expected to wake up to the sight of Dwight taping up half-deflated balloons to the ceiling - not the most beautiful woman in the world kissing him. And really, what could he have done except kiss back with triple the fierceness? He loves how your lips mold against his perfectly, his tongue running against your bottom one to make you open up even more, eliciting a moan from the depths of your throat.

You don't know how long has passed when you break away, a long strand of saliva connecting your bruised lips. His hands fall to your waist, his face nuzzling your neck. You revel in his glow, reminding yourself that it wouldn't be long before you'd have to give him up. You couldn't handle a distance of 3000 km, and he didn't deserve that either. You should not have done this. You start tearing up, feeling as if the walls are closing in around you, popping the bubble surrounding the both of you.

Out of nowhere, Ted feels a wetness on his cheek. "What the - Y/N, are you okay? What happened?" You gently nudge him off your body, wiping the tears from your face.

"Nothing, I'm fine. You should go sleep, you have an exam soon." You say, turning around and making your way to your room without waiting for a reply. You still can't believe that you left him confused and heartbroken on the couch from something you had done to him. That night had been the worst of your life.

Exam season came and went, neither of you bringing up what happened and in all honesty, you tried avoiding him just as much as you could. The system you had built was working relatively well, you would only see him in the morning right before the both of you left for your exams. You'd leave leftovers for him in the fridge with a brief note taped on his fridge, but that's where your contact stopped. Every so often, when you were getting ready in the morning, you'd see him from the corner of your eye trying to reach out to you opening his mouth as if he was going to say something.

But he never did.

You started packing up your room the day you were done with your exams. You'd turned down a celebratory night out with your friends, feeling the need to leave as soon as you could. What use was staying here anyway? No, now was the time to shove your belongings in boxes and start arranging your flight back home, arriving much earlier than expected. It wasn't a permanent solution since Ted lived right next to you, but it would work for now.

That's how Ted found you just over an hour later. By that point, your room was mostly bare save for some of your essentials sitting out on your desk. He had just returned home, about to use the washroom when he heard some weird shuffling from the direction of your bedroom. A bit alarmed, he rushed to you, only to see you stacking your suitcases on top of each other. You stop in your tracks when you see him, expecting him to be gone for at least another two hours. "Oh. Hey."

"Hi...? What's going on?"

"Uh, I'm going back home for a bit. Probably the day after tomorrow."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Wait, you're not staying for graduation? It's only two weeks from now."

"Yeah, but that's not really important to me." He clenches his jaw.

"Well, I suppose you would want to spend as much time with your parents before you go."

"Sure, yeah." You lie through your teeth. He was right, of course, but that wasn't the reason why. "How long are you here for?"

"A little after graduation, I think. Have a few job positions available, I'll need to go check them out."

"Oh, makes sense."

The conversation comes from a standpoint. Unable to maintain eye contact with him, you fiddle with your suitcase. "Y/N," He begins, sucking in a deep breath.

"Yes?" You say, biting your lip.

"Could you wait for me before you go? We could just, like, hang out?" He says nervously.

Oh god.

"Of course, Ted." You say unsure of what would come of the promise.

"Thank you." He adds, relieved.

Just as he's about to leave, you call out for him. "I don't know if I'm going to see you tomorrow, so, um. Bye. For now." If only he knew the true intent of those words.

He looks at you skeptically but returns the sentiment anyway. "Bye, Y/N."

True to your word, you didn't see Ted the next day, finally being dragged out of your cocoon by your other friends. You didn't see him the day of your flight either, not really knowing where he was. Once you'd lugged all your belongings outside, you paused to look over the apartment. A deep sadness instills within you - this was the place where Ted and you had spent the last 4 years of your life. He'd coached you through several panic attacks on that very table, you had spent hours behind that stove cooking whatever your heart desired, and the picture of the both of you still hung over the crack in the wall that came with the place. That sofa was the same place the both of you slumped over after a hard day to catch up on whatever you were watching and, very recently, where you'd both shared a brain-melting kiss.

You shake your head of these thoughts, it was time to move on. You had just been accepted into your dream school, why were you acting like your entire life was ending? Previously, you'd contemplated leaving him a note, but that didn't feel necessary anymore. You'd already said what you needed to say that night.

Wrapping your hands around the door handle, you say goodbye to the place one last time before locking it shut. As you load everything onto the small elevator, you hope that goodbye extends to Ted too.

The next two weeks have you fall into a pattern. You'd wake up and have breakfast with your parents before tagging along with either of them on any errands they needed to do. Sometimes that meant going with your mom to the grocery store or helping your mama in the soup kitchen a few streets away. Your days were dedicated to spending time with them, but your nights were left empty. It was really a matter of time before Ted occupied your mind during those times. You'd wake up and fall asleep to memories of him;- your best friend, your crush, your rock. The thought has you laughing. Despite the last 20 years of being friends, this was the legacy he'd left on you - and you had no one but yourself to blame. Funny how life works sometimes.

The day before you left, the Shacklefords came over to see you. You'd seen them at various points since you'd been back but this was the first time all of you were settling down in a room together. You didn't mind, these people were literally your second set of parents. The 5 of you discussed various topics over dinner; how your decision was so unexpected, how they would support you no matter what, how your brother was doing, if their other kids were coming for Ted's graduation party, etc.

"Oh yeah, how was the graduation by the way?" Your mama says. "Y/N robbed us of attending it," she adds, giggling.

"It went fine - it was pretty emotional to see our youngest reach such a milestone. We are really starting to feel the empty nest now." Ted's dad replies, smiling. "But Ted didn't seem to share the sentiment."

"Really? He looked pretty happy in his photos." Your mom questions.

"Yeah, he was pretty glum throughout it all. Those pictures I sent you were the best ones of the bunch. To be fair, I would be too if my best friend wasn't there with me." His mom says teasingly. You force a smile.

The conversation continues to flow around you but you let yourself simmer in that comment. No one except your parents knew that you were leaving tomorrow; they were extremely confused by your request but promised to not tell. His mom's remark was meant all in good jest, but now you're terrified of her reaction to the news that you left before saying a proper goodbye to her son. It would be fair, you felt like a horrible person, but you were not prepared for anything otherwise.

The next morning, your moms dropped you off at the airport. They both took turns kissing you on the cheek, helping you load your luggage onto a trolley before waving you off, promising to visit you once you'd found an apartment and settled in. You hug them and go to catch your flight, leaving a piece of your heart with them. Ted may have been your number one supporter, but those two had been with you through literally everything and you'd probably miss them the most when you're abroad.

An hour or so later you're done checking in, and you decide to spend some time window-shopping in the Duty-Free section. You didn't need anything, your mama had made sure of that while you were packing, plus everything was too expensive anyway. No, you just wanted to browse - at least, until, you'd noticed a pile of cute Julius the Monkey plushies in the corner of the shop. Okay, maybe you'd let yourself buy one thing. It could be a companion for this new scary stretch of your life.

You pick one up, fondly looking over the details on its plush body. Ted did very briefly have a Paul Frank obsession, you remember. He would've loved to have this. You miss him so much.

Suddenly, a hand reaches out to grab your shoulder. You jolt in surprise as you turn back, Julius falling from your hands in the process. "Sorry! Let me grab that for you," a wide-eyed and flustered Ted bends down before you, picking up the doll. He offers it to you, but you skip over it.

"What are you doing here?" You exclaim in shock. "Weren't you supposed to arrive in a week or something?"

"I got an offer I couldn't turn down, so I decided to come home early and surprise my parents. But I could ask you the same thing, Y/N. You said you were going to wait for me." He replies in an exhausted voice. You eye him. He looked a bit sleep-deprived, his messy hair poking out of his hoodie. A large suitcase stands next to him, adorned by his neck pillow. It must've been a rough flight.

You were cornered. "I, um, have to go. The announcement lady just mentioned my flight."

He stops you, spotting your lie. "Unless you're flying to Germany, I suggest you explain yourself." He replies in a firm tone.

Clenching your jaw, your eyes fall to the floor. You had caused all of this just because you couldn't keep your freaking lips to yourself. You deserved this moment of humiliation. "I'm sorry."

"You can't kiss me one day and then disregard our decades of friendship by running away, Y/N. What's going on?"

"That kiss was a mistake." You say, literal garbage falling out of your mouth. Was it something you regret? Yes, but it wasn't a mistake. "I did it in a moment of foolishness and I wish I didn't."

This catches him off guard. "No, it wasn't. You would have t-"

Gathering up all your courage, you stare into his eyes. "Don't make something out of nothing." Wow, now you were deflecting. Perfect. You sense anger building within him and realize you should probably step away while you still can. You grab your carry-on, about to turn away when he says something.

"I can tell when you're lying, Y/N."

You chose to not reply to that comment. "Goodbye, Ted. I wish the absolute best for you, congrats on the new job." At least that was wholehearted. You walk away, leaving Ted behind in that overpriced Duty-Free shop still clutching onto the Julius plushie as if it'll abandon him like you just did.

He purchased it in the hopes that you'd return back to him.

And there it was. The truth is all out in the open.

"You should know, Ted, I would do things completely differently now. I am so, so sorry. I never should have done that to you, it was stupid, I was a fucking coward-"

Ted's hands encase yours, and for the first time in 6 years, you feel like you're going to be okay. "No, you were completely right to feel those things, Y/N. God, if I had stopped being so hardheaded and realized why you became so closed-off, we wouldn't have missed so much time together."

"No, it's my fault." You say, gripping his hands tightly. "Don't you dare blame yourself. It was me - I made everything worse. I should have been more upfront with my fears. I shouldn't have lied to you." You cup his face, resting his forehead against yours.

"I would've flown there if you'd asked me to." He confesses, his voice a decibel over a whisper.

"I knew you would have, but I couldn't expect something of that scale from you." You reply. "You deserved to live your own life."

"When will you realize that you are my lifeline?"

"Fuck, don't say that... in some cruel and fucked up way, I'm kind of glad it worked out. I mean, think about it. You wouldn't have gotten George or this gigantic office!" You leave the warmth of his embrace, widening your arms to emphasize its size. He snickers, acknowledging that you have a point.

You spot something from the corner of your eye. Your hands reluctantly left their position and you reach to pick up a book lying next to you. Following your line of vision, Ted watches as you pick up and rotate the book in your hands. "Oh no, that's George's favorite nighttime story. He probably got it to read with Charkie but left it behind." He says, worriedly. He sees in your eyes, though, that that's not what intrigued you.

"You kept it? The book I gave you?" You say, staring at him with the rawest emotions anyone could ever see. There it was; the same look you'd given him when you'd fallen off the bike.

"It's you, chowder." He says, returning the stare. "It's always been you."

In a split second, you push your lips against his. You move the book aside and find your spot on the back of his head, playing with his hair. His travels further down your back until they meet your ass, caressing your cheeks and tugging them to be closer to him. This. This is what bliss felt like.

His mouth explores your tavern as if his only goal is to go deeper and deeper until you were one. It feels like the air is being sucked out of you in the absolute best way possible, melting into him just as you did that day 6 years ago.

Then, you feel something meaty poking your leg. Your eyes flow open in surprise and it takes you a few seconds to realize what it is.

"Are you hard?" You say as you pull apart. He squeaks, looking down and turning red and you stifle a laugh.

"I'm sorry, this isn't- oh my god, this is so embarrassing," he panics. "I'm so sorry, Y/N, I swear this wasn't my plan, maybe if we just wait a bit-"

"Ted," you caress his face and he immediately hushes. "It's okay. Honestly, it's kind of hot to know you're pining for me down there."

"Still, the girl of my dreams is finally back in arms-" your heart flutters. "-and this is how my body decides to react. Ugh. We could wait for it to go back down; or if you're uncomfortable having it around I could go to the bathroom and, um, take care of it?"

You bite your lip as you see the outline of his bulge and he instinctively covers it with both hands. "We could do that, but I am open to other options." His eyes widen as he realizes the implications of your words. "Only if you are as well, though." You add, quickly.

"...I'm open to it too," he reveals, and your smile widens.

Taking your chance, you smash your lips against his again before flipping your positions. Your fingers snake down to the buckle of his belt and you impatiently try to remove it, eventually being successful. Once it's off, you quickly discard his pants in the same way. Smirking into the kiss, you run your fingers over the erect tent in his boxers.

You pull away only to press more kisses onto his neck, making your way downwards to his nether region. He lets out a moan when you wrap your lips around his nipple and suck, and the sound sends a fresh wave of arousal through your body.

His flushed face scrunched up in pleasure, your saliva coating his lips, his bare chest dotted with sweat. The sight was simply erotic.

Your fingers slip into his waistband as your lips continue traveling downwards. You tug his boxers off and his member almost pokes you in the eyes.

My god, how was he hiding this in those tight pants? It was curved, veiny and thick. The angry, swollen red tip begged for some relief and your hands reached out to grab it in your hands. You felt drool escape from the side of your mouth as you realize your hands don't even wrap around properly. Your eyes shift to his. "I have to be honest," you say anxiously, rubbing circles on his slit with your thumb. "I don't know if you'll fit."

Those words were enough to send another shiver through his already overstimulated body. "You should know, I haven't really - um - done this before."

Your movements freeze. "What?"

"I'm still a virgin." He says, and your lack of reply sends him into a spiral of panic. "I'm sorry, is that a turn-off? I just never really thought about it that much. I'm so sorry-"

"What the fuck are you sorry for?" You startle him. "I'm sorry for literally everyone else in the world! Have you been hiding this monster in your pants for 28 years?" You grip the tip tightly once more, earning a groan from him.

"To think that I will be the first person to bring you an orgasm, to see how your eyes roll to the back of your head as you ride out your high... fuck, do you not know how hot that is? Holy shit, I cannot wait to feel you inside me."

Wasting no time for his reply, you pop his leaking tip into your mouth and roll your tongue over it. The whimpers he makes fuel you as your hands cup his balls. You bob your head, trying to fit him inside one inch at a time.

You see his palm quickly clamp over his mouth, amusing you immensely. "Moan as loud as you want, pretty boy. What are they going to do, walk in?" You laugh, unlatching from his cock for a bit before diving right back in.

He heeds your advice, letting out the most satisfying moans you've ever heard as he tangles his fingers in your hair. He gently pushes you closer and closer to him until your nose touches his pelvis. Is this what he'd been missing out on for his entire life? If only he could turn back time and slap himself across the face.

Your tongue only gets needier and needier, desperate to taste all of him all at once. You use it to trace his bulging veins, feeling him twitch as you do so. Your hands leave his balls to slip in between your own legs and you rub your clit in the same rhythm as you suck him.

Maybe the sight of you playing with yourself should've been enough to push him over the edge; but it's only when he makes contact with your hazy eyes that causes him to buck into your mouth and finally give you what you wanted, his essence running down your throat as you swallow. "Fuck," he says, surprising you by swearing. "You're a goddess." He says in his post-orgasmic bliss.

You wipe any remnants off your lips with the back of your hand and laugh. "That's my name, Teddy. Don't wear it out." Then you clamber onto his lap and meet his lips once again. He grins sheepishly when he tastes him in you, but that grin quickly turns into a moan as you grind down on him. He's tempted to let you bounce on him till he spills himself all over you, but he knew he wanted you to experience your own orgasm.

"Y/N," he shyly says. "Can I eat you out?"

You weren't expecting that, but who were you to refuse? "Yes, please!"

Placing his hands underneath your buttcheeks, he lifts you into the air - damn, has he been working out? His biceps are so hot - and awkwardly shuffles to the desk. He places you on the desk, albeit in the wrong spot as you end up having to scoot up a bit for fear of falling off - but with a man like Ted molding into putty in your hands, how could you care?

He fumbles to remove your shirt, his eyes darkening once he sees the glow of your breasts in the moonlight. You unclasped your bra and tossed it away without a care in the world, discarding your pants in the same manner. You feel exposed, desperately wanting to blow his expectations out of the water but secretly being afraid that you're not capable of it.

You see his breath hitch in his throat as he gazes at you lustfully, clad in nothing save for a pair of soaked panties. He reaches forward and plants a sloppy kiss on your lips, moving downwards to your chin, then the length of your exposed neck before settling on the center of your collarbones. You tingle with delight - only Ted could be so seductive in an endearing manner.

He wraps his pillowy lips around your nipple, one hand playing with your other breast. He's a bit rough at first but eases his force when he observes how you jolt up. His teeth graze your skin and you mewl.

He leaves your nipple and gets himself level with your clothed pussy. When you feel his nose digs into your clit, you instinctually gasp and wrap your legs around his head. You feel fucking powerful for a second, knowing you're suffocating him with nothing but you. You might just climax on the spot.

The feeling is interrupted when he pries your legs open. "Slow down, chowder, we have all night - and, err, next morning."

Just when you're about to reply with a giggle and call him cute, he pulls your panty to the side. He latches his mouth around your clit, giving it some experimental licks before deciding he was doing well when he hears you suck in your breath. He sucks on it like his life depends on it, teeth grazing ever so gently over your sensitive core. One hand keeps your legs apart so he could have access to more of you, while his other runs itself along your slit. When his fingers are sufficiently coated in your slick, he finally plunges inside with two digits.

The loud moan you let out makes his cock twitch.

His fingers repeatedly thrust into you, making a come-hither motion each time. It was really just a matter of time before he found your g-spot, instantly making you reach up and grope your breast.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck fuck fuck!" You curse, and you feel his lips twisting into a smirk as he keeps sucking the life out of you. When he feels you tightening as you near your precipice, he takes it as a sign to switch his position. You feel a warm, wet appendage poking your quivering hole, audibly gasping His tongue travels around the perimeter at first, but then they replace his fingers when it snakes inside of you - twisting, turning and plunging into you.

In just a few seconds your vision goes blurry and you wrap your thighs around his face again as you climax around his tongue. "Holy shit!"

He cheekily rises from where he was sitting, his mouth streaked with evidence of your orgasm. His breath catches in his throat when he sees the mess you're in. "Not bad for a first timer, huh?" You giggle exasperatedly, trying to catch your breath.

You were the definition of lewd at this moment; sweat highlighting the curve of your breasts.

"See something you like?" You joke, propping yourself in elbows.

"I love you."

"...what?"

"Sorry, sorry! I did not mean to say that! Forget what I said."

"Ted."

He sucks in a deep breath. "Maybe it's seeing you after so long but - I can't. I can't let you slip away again. I want to be with you, Y/N, you're it for me." He says, caressing your face and using his thumbs to wipe the tears welling in your eyes. "Stay with me." He hums, kissing your nose.

"You don't-" you start, holding onto his arms. Ted feels uncertain of what you're going to say. "You don't tell that to someone after you've given them an earth-shattering orgasm, you doof!" You exclaim, chuckling.

He feels like he can breathe again. "Reciprocate my love, woman." He says, pouting.

You pull him in for a hug tightly, never wanting to let go. His arm snakes around your back and holds you in place, his nose nuzzling into the base of your neck. "I love you too." You finally say. "It's definitely going to be an adjustment. I've only been back for two weeks, you have a monkey, I don't even have a place yet - but that doesn't matter. I love you so, so much. Letting you go was the worst decision I ever made, and I'll be damned if I let it happen again."

You're pulled into a kiss. This one is different though; not based on hunger or desire as before but rather passion. It feels like an ice cube spreading over your bruised lips. He breaks apart, resting his forehead on yours. "Soul meets soul on lover's lips." He quotes.

"Ugh, you haven't changed one bit, you nerd." You remark, rolling your eyes half heartedly as you recognize the line as one of Percy Shelly's. He shrugs shamelessly, elated that you remembered.

He gently lays you down on the desk once more, being careful to not crush you as his hands wrap around his dick and he strokes himself. He pulls away, slowly, leaning over to your ear.

"Think I can give you another 'earth-shattering' orgasm?" He smugly says, his sticky fingers gripping onto your hip.

"I might just die if you don't."

He blushes before slowly pulling your cum-soaked panties down, slipping them past your legs. God, the sight of your battered pussy was so lewd, but an essential detail registers in his head. "Y/N," he says, scratching the back of his head. "I don't have a condom."

That snaps you out of your trance. "Ugh, I completely forgot." You reply, annoyed. "I have an IUD, but I haven't been with anyone for a while. If you still want to continue, then I'm up for it too." You say nervously.

He bends down to kiss your nose again. "I trust you."

You reach out for his member, rubbing it against your folds with your slick making it seem so effortless. The pretty moan he lets out only edges you on - he had you wrapped around his gorgeous long fingers, didn't he?

He writhes in your grasp, fingers digging into the flesh of your hips leaving crescent-shaped marks that you prayed would remain. "Shit, shit, shit!" He exclaims.

His swearing really shouldn't be making you weak in the knees, but damn it all to hell.

"God, I can't wait to take you apart every single day." You say. "Crumbling before my very eyes. Fuck, I can't wait to be wrapped around you."

"Then what are you waiting for?" He pants irritatedly, arms placed on each side of your head.

"As you wish, pretty boy." You reach out for his hand to plant a kiss on his fingers. Finally, you align his head with your entrance and lace your legs around his waist. "I can't believe I'm finally making you mine."

He cups your face. "Chowder, I've always been yours."

And with that, you push him inside with your legs. The first stretch is uncomfortable due to his sheer size and girth, but that couldn't matter less. You were more focused on how his head rolled back and the loud groan that escapes his throat - possibly the most erotic sound you've ever heard.

It was like he'd lived in black and white before this, and all of a sudden there was an explosion of color and he was drowning in you, you only you-

"Holy crap, Y/N." He pants. "You're so tight and warm and- fuck."

"You're becoming quite the potty-mouth." You giggle.

"Hush, woman. You and your pussy are going to be the death of me someday." He says, hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

You stroke his wet hair, grinning. "That's the plan."

"Brat."

"Yours truly."

"At least you got one thing correct." He says, leaning in to kiss your lips. The inadvertent thrust that came with it causes you to let out a gasp, and you're starting to be weary of if you can survive being impaled by his monster dick.

Luckily your thoughts are silenced when his hips start to move; it starts slow as he adjusts to you, but he picks up his pace, pounding into you.

"Ted! Fuck - more!" You scream. Watching his cock disappear into you - seeing where you started and he began - it felt like he had no choice but to comply with your words.

Rolling his hips against yours, he diverts the attention of his mouth onto your exposed neck, pressing wet kisses along before harshly biting and sucking on your skin. It hurts - not unbearably so, but you still make a point to give him a hickey to show how it was done later on.

Wanting more of him, you slowly lift your hips and match his pace. "Holy fucking shit, your dick is skewering me alive." You cry, hands going to play with your clit. You see his face scrunch up at the image, which amuses you to no end.

Above you, Ted chases the warmth of your pussy. The sound of skin on skin makes him feel delirious, getting turned on by the mere thought of your fluids intermingling and leaving a mess on the space he has to work on.

He catches your lips with him, slowly feeling the coil tightening in his lower abdomen. Your pert nipples drag over his chest, sending tingles all over him. Between your pretty little moans, your tight hole sucking his cock in and the sight of your slick-covered fingers rubbing figure-8s around your clit, he knew he had no chance.

Soon he starts seeing white spots in his vision and something starting to unravel in his lower abdomen. "Y/N, I think I'm close. Where should I - um -"

"Inside, please." You say, panting.

And just like that, his hips still and he comes undone.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

He was a fucking vision - you wanted the sight imprinted on the back of your eyelids. His thick eyebrows knitted together as his eyes closed shut, his lower lip falling under his teeth as his stomach caved in and of itself. His thick, warm seed shot into your pussy in uncontrollable spurts, stuffing you beyond your wildest dreams.

"Fuck, I love you so much." You say unabashedly, feeling his essence dribble out of you slowly. He chuckles lightly, struggling to catch his breath. "Can I ride you? I'm almost there."

He nods his head excitedly before flipping the both of you so you were on top, your palms planted firmly against his chest as you straddle him. You waste no time in moving your hips and he seems all too happy to let you take over, watching your actions through his lidded eyes. You create a fast but deep pace, the sound of him fucking through his own cum pushing you even closer to your end. "So good for me, love." You praise him as he mewls beneath you. "So perfect."

You slump backward, allowing you to grind against his cock more as his head smashes into your cervix. His fingers vigorously rub your clit, making you wail. "Don't stop, oh my god, fucckk!"

He bucks his hips into you, desperate to see you crumble in front of him again. "God, I must be the luckiest man alive," he eggs you on as you swirl your hips. You clench your walls, the friction bringing him to his edge once more.

"Ted..." you whimper. Looking into your glassy eyes, he understands.

"I'm close again, love," he grunts. "Cum with me."

"Fuck - I love you, I love you I love you I love you-" you chant frantically. With one final thrust, your orgasm overtakes you with such force that your vision blanks out. Your hips stutter as you fall onto him, gushing around his length as his cum paints your walls again.

He brings his lips to yours, kissing you amid your choked sobs of pleasure. You stay in that position for some time, with his bulky arms wrapping around you and his softening dick plugging his cum inside you.

Moments pass as you lay on his chest, listening in for his heartbeat as it slowly calms. "That was amazing." You say, breaking the silence.

"I don't think I could ever go back to my hand again." He sighs as you laugh. "Don't you need to go pee or something?" He says, brushing his fingers through your sweaty hair.

"I don't want to leave our bubble." You pout.

He kisses your forehead. "Well, we have forever, don't we?" You smile. "We can manage maybe a few seconds apart."

"Ugh, fine." You say, slipping him out of you as you wobbly walk to his attached bathroom. He watches himself slowly leak down your thighs, licking his lips contently. If he wasn't completely spent, he'd probably take you up against the wall right now and add another load to the stash. Oh well, maybe tomorrow.

He wipes off the mess you made as much as he can before arranging the pullout couch more comfortably. He waits for you, immediately reaching out to your warm body once you're out of the washroom.

He falls asleep tucked up in your arms, and as you listen as he softly snores you realize that this is the most at home you've felt since you left 6 years ago.

"I'm glad to hear he had a good time," Ted says onto the speakerphone as he ties his tie. "We're still trapped but it shouldn't be too long now. Thank you for taking care of him, Margaret, it's lucky this sleepover was scheduled when it was."

Ted was the first to wake up this morning, but you soon followed when you felt his tongue lapping at your folds. After another dalliance in the hay, you watch as he dresses while calling Charkie's house to make sure George was okay. Once he talks to him and promises to take him to the playground today, he hangs up.

You smirk as he bends down to pick up his belt, your eyes training in on his round ass. "You know, I've always loved your butt. You should bend over more, it's my biggest vice."

He turns to you, rolling his eyes in amusement. "Shouldn't you start getting ready? They could barge in any time now."

"I would, but I think you've broken me, Shackleford."

"Don't be so dramatic, chowder. Here, I'll help you."

Once you're dressed and have fixed your hair (to an extent), you place yourself on Ted's lap and overlook the view from his window. "We live right about there," he points to a tall yellow building in the distance, resting his chin on your shoulder. "Ours is the one with the garden on the balcony. Speaking of, remind me to water the plants as soon as we get back."

"Dang, if I wasn't too busy bouncing on your dick we could've seen it at night."

He groans. "Don't talk like you didn't enjoy cumming all over my de-"

All of a sudden you hear the scraping of a key being inserted into the door. Ted swivels the both of you around to meet a maintenance worker and Dr. Einstein. "Heard you kids got locked up yesterday. Ted, you really oughta get this whole system replaced." He says, eyeing the two of you. "Glad it worked out, though." He shamelessly adds.

You cough. "Of course, I'll get a locksmith up here immediately Professor Einstein. Thank you for letting us out, Jerry." Ted rambles, blushing.

The man only nods his head and leaves, unfazed and unbothered. Professor Einstein, on the other hand, lingers for a bit more. "You should take the day off, Shackleford. Maybe get a shower, or touch some grass." He says, before walking away, humming to himself.

"That... was the most embarrassing thing I've been through." He says, dumbfounded.

"Get used to it, sweets." You laugh, picking yourself off as best as you could. "I think I want you to fuck me against this huge window, let everyone see how much I love your dick."

"Jesus, Y/N, I didn't expect you to be such a pottymouth." He replies, shocked, getting up to embrace you again.

"Speak for yourself;- did you hear the shit you were saying last night?"

"I really hope you don't influence George to be just as crude."

"Um, wow. Have some faith in me."

He kisses your forehead, pulling you closer. A warm silence ensues.

"I don't want you to go. You just got back." He whispers.

"I don't want to leave." You mumble, hiding your face in his chest, inhaling his scent. He always gave the best hugs; the ones where you melt right into him.

"I take back what I said about being apart for a few seconds. I want to be with you 24/7." He groans. How did you get so lucky?

"The Pisghetti's are expecting me at 10, right before the lunch shift. Maybe you should tag along? I don't think they'd mind. Actually, it'd help us if anything."

"Well, Professor Einstein did basically tell to me take a day off, and we do still have nearly 3 hours before you're expected. How about we freshen up at our apartment?"

That's how you find yourself curled up around him as he pounds into you in his tub, your 15-minute bath turning into 35. After the stickiness between your legs is washed off (and a sex-crazed Ted is satiated), you quickly rush to get ready, despite knowing that the Pisghetti's are immediately going to know if something is up when they notice you wearing the same clothes as yesterday. Oh well.

The pair of you pick George up from Charkie's, who only live the next block over. Margaret, the sweet dog's kind owner, is delighted to be introduced to you and offers tea, but you regrettably take a rain check. George on the other hand is surprised to see the man with the yellow hat's fingers intertwined around yours but accepts it happily, even climbing to your shoulders as you make the walk to the Pisghetti's.

Safe to say the Chef and Netti didn't expect to see the both of you together, but they don't make a big deal of it. George plays with Gnocchi as the four of you discussed the final adjustments for the meals in the kitchen.

You try your hardest - you swear you do. But every so often Ted's hands hover over yours and it's goddamn hard to not run your fingers over his soft palms. This doesn't go unnoticed by Netti, but she doesn't say anything. She'll squeeze it out of you on Monday, you suppose, judging by how the corner of her lips turn up every time she spots it.

By the time it rolls around to 11:30, you start preparing for your lunch shift. "I wish I could stay, but I did promise to take George to the playground. And I think the Chef wouldn't like me hogging space for potential customers anyway." Ted pouts. "Should I pick you up after your shift? You can have dinner with us - I'll cook." He offers enthusiastically.

"That sounds good! I do have one request; can we drop by my hotel? I really need a fresh set of clothes, and also make sure the staff doesn't think I died or something."

He kisses you briefly but passionately. "Consider it a plan. See you in a few hours, chowder. I love you." With that promise, he reluctantly leaves.

That night, as you're sleeping and sprawled over him, belly full of lasagna and hands holding onto a rather flat plush of Julius the monkey, Ted makes the realization that he has two sources of snores to drown his spiraling thoughts in.

This time, it's enough.

He sleeps contently, tucked in your arms like he hopes to be for the rest of his life with his beloved (and live) monkey just a few paces away.

"Passport?"

"Check."

"Wallet?"

"Check."

"Suitcase and backpack?"

"Check."

"List of Canadian snacks George wants to try?"

"Check! That should be it."

"You are missing one thing." Ted gives you a grave face.

You nervously think back to what could be missing. "What is it?"

"A goodbye kiss for me, hello?" He says, puckering his lips like an idiot in the middle of the bustling crowd around you.

You roll your eyes before planting a big fat wet kiss on his lips. Even Ted wasn't expecting to drop you at the airport today. Heck, he'd actually been trying to avoid flying; partly because it brought a whole list of complications because of George being classified as a primate but also because every time he'd step in one memory of you leaving would rush back into his brain, leaving him a grumpy old mess. He'd even completely skipped over the Duty-Free sections every time he did have to go somewhere.

There was also another reason;- the gala was tomorrow, and dropping you off was already taking a chunk of precious time that could've gone into overseeing the preparations. Obviously, Ted didn't mind - Professor Wiseman was more than capable of being in charge for an hour - but this event was important to him. It was the biggest he'd thrown in his entire career, plus, it had somewhat brought you to him. He was next to you, yes, but he'd be lying if he said a part of him wasn't worrying about the exhibit in the back of his mind.

Of course, you didn't mind. Truth be told, your mind was also a bit preoccupied with the gala - specifically the food. Most of the work was done, Netti and the Chef only had to fix it up to look more presentable. Still, if it hadn't been for your lease expiring soon you would've extended your stay by at least one more day.

You brush these thoughts aside as you give Ted one final hug. "Is it too late to stuff you in my suitcase and carry you with me?" You ask.

"Unfortunately, yes, chowder." He says, kissing the top of your head. "Though... I wouldn't mind being stuffed somewhere else." He says, raising his eyebrows mischievously.

You hit his arm. "Oh my god, give my pussy a break. I'm going now." You whine, turning away from him.

He snickers, stopping you from leaving. "Okay, okay, calm down. Just one more kiss and I promise I'll let you go." He says before bending down and capturing your lips in his. You stay like that for a while before you begrudgingly pull away.

"See you in a few days. Tell George I'll miss him. I love you!" you grin before walking away to the check-in station, waving as you do so.

"I love you too," Ted replies. He watches as you disappear into the crowd, just as you did that day 6 years ago, but he reminds himself that this time is different. You'd be back. And very soon.

With that in mind, he turns back to head to the museum again.

Someone snaps him out of his trance. "You're up in 5, boss."

"Thanks, Andie." Ted acknowledges, flickering through his opening speech again. This wasn't the first time he'd given one but they were very nerve-wracking either way for an introvert. Dressed in an all-black suit for the first time in 2 years, he only wishes you were here to see him. You'd been trying to push him out of that yellow suit for a while now.

Adjusting his tie, he devotes one more second (okay, maybe a bit more) to thinking of you before making his way to the stage stairs. The MC for the evening, a guy by the name of William H. Macy, introduces him - and soon he's facing a room of 500 people with a mic in front of him. He hopes all that practicing with you and George paid off.

"Distinguished guests, it is my honor to unveil the new Invention of Cooking exhibit to you tonight on behalf of The Metropolitan Museum of Arts." A round of applause ensues as Ted searches the crowd for familiar faces so that he could feel a bit more relaxed. "We'd love to extend our warmest welcomes to each and every single one of you. People from every corner of the earth have flown in just to attend this event; food bloggers, world-famous chefs, historians of different specialties, and so forth. A diverse palette of company, really - but all of us, including me, are united by one thing." He pauses to draw the audience in. "None of us know what I'm going to say!"

That earns a cackle from the horde, the most distinct being George. That soothes his nerves, but it's hard to spot the monkey with all these bright lights flashing in his face. "Plans for this new extension date back to several years ago, so seeing everyone stand in it is a very special moment for all of us who have been dedicatedly working on it. We hope that you enjoy immersing yourself in how cooking evolved from the discovery of fire to the stage it's at now." His eyes adjust to the darkness a bit, and he notices George cheekily smiling at him about 50 feet away. He was on someone's head - who was that? "But please do make sure to try out the assortment of appetizers and courses that are sure to give you a taste of New York." He continues, squinting to seek out who George was on but trying to not make it too obvious. It seems like they were walking toward the stage. "They have been prepared by our very own Chef Pisghetti, his wife Netti, and my partner, Y/N L/N, who unfor-" George's mysterious booster seat finally comes to light, and Ted makes eye contact with you.

He coughs, dumbfounded, but picks his jaw up from the floor quickly. This was a professional event, the show must go on. "Who have all devoted the last few weeks of their life making sure everyone in this room gets the best experience attainable. Uh, if you have any questions, feel free to direct them to any of our dedicated staff. Otherwise, have a wonderful evening!" He reaches the end of his speech, pausing for the applause before rushing downstairs to embrace you in his arms. George scurries away, picking up cues that this should be a more private affair. "Y/N - how'd you- Weren't you-" he excitedly queries as you pepper his face in kisses.

"I'll explain everything, can we go to your office though?"

"Sure. Wait, is something wrong?" "No, no! I just don't want to be with you, not surrounded by a bazillion people."

5 minutes later, you're back in his office and he has you wrapped in the tightest of hugs. "You weren't supposed to be back for at least three days - what happened?!"

"Don't scold me, but I chugged like 4 Red Bulls to pack up my entire apartment in under 12 hours. Honestly, you should have seen me. I think I set a world record, but anyway. I brought what I could - all the boxes are in the restaurant - but my friends are going to have to sell my couch and bed and blah blah. Whatever, doesn't matter, caught a flight and ran here." Ted gazes into your eyes. "What? Say something."

"You're crazy." He says, "Why would you do that?"

"You're crazy if you think I would have missed this for the world."

"God, I'm in love with a lunatic."

You beam. "Tell me something I don't know." He grabs you by your cheeks and smashes your lips together and you savor his taste. How did every kiss with him feel like it was the first? Your fingers card through his hair as you try to breathe him in. His tongue pressed between your lips to part them, slipping inside your mouth. You don't know how much time passes before you finally part, lips wet with spit.

"I am wholly and irrevocably in love with you." He confesses.

"Ditto." You teasingly smile.

"Ugh, I take it back."

"No! Don't!" You cry. "I love you too, so much. You are my forever, I couldn't imagine a life without you."

He bites back a cheeky grin, resting his head against yours. "Imagine being so cheesy."

"Watch it, mister, or I'll kick you to Mars."

"Will you come with me?"

"Of course. We'll have to find a spacesuit for George, though. I doubt they make them monkey-sized. Speaking of suits, you look particularly ravishing tonight, Shackleford."

"I could say the same for you, chowder. Where were you hiding this little number?"

You twirl your dress for him. "Do you like it? Had to dig it out of the closet. Sorry, it's not exactly black tie,"

"Are you kidding? The only place this would look better is on the floor."

"Oh, really?" You smirk, turning and walking away from him.

He stares at you in confusion. "Uh, what're you doing?"

"You had them remove the auto-lock security feature thing, right?"

"Yeah, the day after we got stuck. Why?"

"Oops!" You say as you close the door shut and slide the bolt in place. "My hand slipped! Uh oh." He slowly catches on to your plan, a bulge already forming in his pants. You turn back to face him, a mischievous look on your face.

"Now, what happened to your promise of fucking me against your window?"

[boricuacherry-blog]

I'm very much a California girl. I grew up in Long Beach, then moved to San Pedro, which was very multicultural. And my stepfather was Thai and Hawaiian. I do have a musical family, my [biological] dad was in a barbershop quartet and my mom had a lovely voice, which I of course didn't inherit. I was really athletic - I played handball in school and beat all the boys twice before the bell rang - and I had a lot of anger I needed to get out, so I figured I would play the drums. I wound up playing in bands within three weeks of starting to play. Thankfully my family was encouraging. I always wanted to be an artist. There was this gallery near our house and they use to offer oil painting lessons. And I was really into that. That was really my jam.

When I heard punk rock, it had a really big impact on me. I was like, Woah, you can do that? In high school, these girls invited me to go see The Rocky Horror Picture Show and Pink Flamingos. Then you start meeting other people, you know, the guys from Red Cross, and The Stingers [a Longbeach band], because they were also seeing the movies. There was a definite crossover with, you know, punk rock and John Waters movies.

Some of the bands I really liked going to see in Hollywood were like, The Weirdos, and X. I really loved X so much. I copied Exene's hair, with just the bangs and kind of like the egg running down your head of different colors, as if you just cracked an egg of colors down your hair. I also liked The Alleycats - God there were so many bands at that time - Nervous Gender - The Bags. I also listened to a lot of Neil Young and Nick Cave and the bad seeds.

I played in a punk band that was like an art punk band. One of my first bands was called Sexually Frustrated. The two girls that were in it were little people [midgets] and you know, I'm like six foot tall. So it was like a visual thing on top of what we were doing. I was also in a band called IUD with the same two women. We were playing with The Omelettes at Camarillo State Hospital. You know, it was very arty, and there were like saxophones.

I met Courtney [Love] through a friend and she wanted me to be the drummer in a band she was starting. Courtney really wanted to make good songs. I don't think I'd ever played in bands where the words were really revealing anything of yourself - the emotional part of being a woman. I really responded to her lyrics. It's like Courtney was speaking for me in a way I couldn't for myself. The words really tapped into something. Pretty On the Inside really spoke to me - all the horrible stuff in my childhood, the dynamics in my family and with other people - that song just really, really spoke to me. I think I wrote a lot of my drum parts to accent what she was saying in the songs. I would, like, ride the cymbal, but make it sizzle - like Rat Scabies from The Damned, he would do that alot. I'm a very emotional drummer. I'm not the timekeeper metronome type of drummer.

When Jill [Emery] joined, that was when Lisa Roberts had left. Courtney let her go because she was threatening the owner of a club with a screwdriver when they didn't pay us. It turned out the owner was the wife of Eddie Nash, the infamous gangster, so Courtney was like, "No she has to go." And Courtney had already been in acting, so she knew all the Hollywood rigmarole.

I wasn't as into Pearl Jam - I was more into Mudhoney. I really liked the garage rock and Iggy Pop - kind of that Detroit thing.

Babydoll [from Pretty on the Inside] was about Madonna. Courtney saw her driving a Mercedes and didn't like it. Courtney worshipped Madonna though. I think that was her playbook. She wanted to be the rock version of Madonna.

I guess it could be said that grunge owes a lot of its existence to Reagan. We were deep in Reagan's America at the time, with the hypocritical values at the time.

Around the time Courtney got pregnant, I was also pregnant, but didn't realize it at the time. I'd had the flu for weeks, and Eric [Erlandson] goes, "Maybe you're pregnant." And it turns out I was. And unfortunately, my relationship at the time was breaking apart because I was always gone [on tour with Hole]. I got a voice-mail on my answering machine that I was being let go from the band, and this was after Eric had already given me money for an abortion. Courtney was telling me we were gonna be playing with Sonic Youth in November in Japan, so she didn't think me being pregnant was going to be good with me playing drums. So I thought, OK, as part of my career move, I'm going to have the abortion. And then she just kicked me out anyway.

I was actually kicked out three times, which a lot of people don't know. Courtney chastised me in the middle of a show because she thought I wasn't playing fast enough. I felt she was publicly humiliating me, so I threw a drumstick at her head. She was mad and kicked me out. Then it was like, OK you can come back if you just do Slimfast and cigarettes and then play drums everyday and do drum lessons. She really liked how I played, but she wanted me to play perfectly, like a Dave Grohl. So I would just comply - I lost weight, etc.

There were a lot worse experiences I had with Courtney, like her telling me, 'I made you,' and stuff like that, like saying I needed to do whatever she wanted at any given moment because 'I didn't even belong here.' So it feeds on your insecurities. That's what manipulative people do. It just got more and more tense that way.

And I mean at first she would, like, spend the night and we would pig out on Entenmann's and watch like weird videos, and have fun like that, but you know, now I realize what she was doing - she was trying to learn all my Achilles heels. And then she would just press on those things when she wanted me to do something.

Courtney was really smart. She was a speed reader - I mean she went to Montessori school - so she's a fascinating person.

Kurt's funeral was intense. There were about 50 people, not a lot of people there. It was Kurt's family, the Sub Pop family, and just all the people he knew. I was around Kurt, but I didn't really know him. We had very few private moments and unfortunately we did not get to be friends. I went to his apartment one time and he was in his pajamas and I sat on their bed. And he was excited to tell me he had a dream about me. He goes, 'We were in Aberdeen and we were riding bikes in my neighborhood,' and I was asking questions and he was telling me about it. And Courtney was standing in the hallway, very Bette Davis, smoking a cigarette, and she goes, 'Well he needs some female friends, but not you, your tits are too big.' And I was engaged to be married, so I don't think she thought I was flirting with him. And then he just looked at his feet, really ashamed. And I left shortly after that. But I'm proud of what we created.

-Caroline Rue, original drummer for Hole

[moodboardsbysarah]

honestly I am anti contraception. Like, I'm not gonna go on a campaign to ban it but it has undeniably had negative impacts on society.

Thanks to birth control there's way more people having sex willy-nilly because they can get away with it. This is leading to a rise in toxic and unstable relationships that often result in children anyway.

Promiscuous one-night stands aren't great, but they're also the least of my concerns. Relationships where people have sex before establishing commitment are much more concerning. I believe these sorts of relationships are the reason for the rise in single early parenthood (I'm making "early parenthood" clear because I don't care about seperated couples with older kids). imo such relationships didn't occur as frequently in a world before contraception, where every sexual encounter felt like an existential risk. On the rare occasions when such unstable relationships did occur... Well... a baby would be born and those people would be forced to either get their act together and marry, or split up. The dynamic of having sex on the third date wasn't normalised and encouraged like it is today.

The contraception lovers argue, "birth control gave women more freedom!" And yeah, I guess it did. It gave women more freedom to...

a) poison our bodies with artificial hormones and IUD complications

b) have sex with random strangers and men who want to use us for sex

c) get more strongly pressured into sex than we already are by boyfriends and dates, because muh condoms will solve everything

d) get pregnant to said men anyway because no form of birth control is 100% reliable

The only benefit I see to contraception is the Plan B pill allowing women who are raped to get protected from pregnancy. And the regular birth control pill is useful for treating some health problems, but there's no reason why this pill couldn't have been marketed as an endometriosis treatment or a period stopper. Instead they called it "birth control" and gave it to any woman who wanted to have more pregnancy-less sex with men. they also prescribe it for acne and depression and literally any hormonal problem a woman has, which is medical malpractice best discussed in another post.

Contraception lovers also argue, "but without birth control, so many more unwanted children would be born!" And I'm like er... That's not what I'm seeing at all. I'm seeing more unwanted children being born than ever before, more single motherhood, more of all that stuff in a pro-contraception world. Contraception is not 100% effective and as I went through, it is causing the formation of unstable relationships because people are having sex way too quickly. People in these unstable relationships might start out using contraception then choose to have unprotected sex and have kids.

The worst thing contraception has done is it has made people start to see sex as a human right and a necessity, when really it's something you should only do when you're lucky enough to have a deep loyal connection with someone. "Sex isn't that big of a deal!" Men cry nowadays because they have contraception "protecting" women from the consequences of sex. Men are acting more entitled to sex than ever. Now that they have condoms, women they're dating don't have as valid of an excuse to say no anymore. Before contraception you only had sex with men you felt comfortable getting pregnant and this was basic common sense. After contraception... Well this logic doesn't hold up anymore. if you don't feel fully comfortable with this guy, well suck it up girlie because he can just wear a condom, it's not like you might get pregnant or anything! Sex isn't a big deal! And if he hates condoms, then you're expected to mutilate your body with IUDs or birth control pills to cater to his needs. If you don't, some other girl will. So yeah, I don't see at all how contraception empowers women in relationships with men. All I see is it gives us less sexual bargaining power and more pressure to "put out" against our will.

And this isn't to say I want contraception banned, because we do need Plan B pills available in case women are raped. but I want the narrative that contraception is empowering and freeing to fucking stop.

If you are heterosexual... then don't have sex with people who you aren't willing to raise children with. End of story, point blank, period. I don't care if you used all the contraception or birth control in the world. If you lie down with the opposite sex and you or your partner gets pregnant, that's on you guys. Consenting to heterosex means consenting to pregnancy.

[themovieblogonline]

Glen Powell Plays A Pretend Hit Man in "Hit Man"

ManAustin’s own Richard Linklater and Netflix screened his latest film, “Hit Man,” to a packed audience on Wednesday, May 15th at the Paramount Theater in downtown Austin. Glen Powell plays a pretend hitman in the movie. Before the showing of the comedy/film noir, lead and co-writer, Glen Powell, was inducted into the Texas Hall of Fame, established in 2001 by Linklater to honor those Texas natives who excel in the film world. Powell was born and educated in Austin, Texas. The film about the real-life pretend hitman was a delight. Hit Man will stream on Netflix after a June 7, 2024 theatrical release. It will be showing at the Alamo Drafthouse Chain in Austin; the 1 hour 55 minute film is well worth your time. It is based on a true story, but poetic license has admittedly been taken with the plot. There really was a Gary Johnson. Johnson was profiled by Skip Hollandsworth in “Texas Monthly” magazine. Johnson was a college professor and tech guy turned mole for the New Orleans police department.  Linklater, who knew the man during his life, described him as “the chillest dude ever.” The film was shot in New Orleans. Street signs with Piety/Pleasure in close-ups add subtle humor to the plot. THE PLOT The synopsis on IMDB describes the plot this way:  “A professor moonlighting as a hit man of sorts for his city police department descends into dangerous, dubious territory when he finds himself attracted to a woman who enlists his services.” I was reminded of “BlacKkKlansman,” where the real-life exploits of Ron Stallworth as a Black man who joined the Ku Klux Klan were explored. The difference in tone between the two films, however, is vast. That’s good news for the audience. This one is a screwball comedy/film noir with an original plot and excellent acting by Powell, co-star Adria Arjona (“Father of the Bride”), and Retta (“Good Girls”). Music, Cinematography, Costuming, Acting---all are uniformly excellent. The screenplay, co-written by Linklater and Powell, was hammered out during phone calls during Covid. It premiered at the Italian film festival in September, during the writers’ strike, meaning that Linklater appeared pretty much solo. Since the title character, Gary Johnson, is a college professor, we get uncharacteristic depth of thought about life and “the eternal mystery of human consciousness and behavior.” Powell’s character says, “I had a knack for being the person they needed me to be” of his hit man persona Ron he adopted and says, “I had somehow found my stage.” The talented (and good-looking) Powell, seen in the comedy “Anyone But You” as well as “Top Gun: Maverick” (2022), has been working towards a Hollywood career since age 14, when he appeared in “Spy Kids 3D: Game Over.” His remarks before the film reveal an Austin native who loves Texas and loves making movies. (“The most fun job on the planet.”) THE SCRIPT The screenwriting duo (Linklater and Powell) had a great time writing the script during Covid (mostly by phone). The cast contributed by improvising some of the best lines that stayed in the film. Co-star Sanjay Rao (Phil) said his favorite line (of Retta’s) that remained in the final film was her remark that she would “rip out my IUD for Ron,” the cool guy persona that Gary Johnson portrayed. (That line brought a big laugh from the crowd). It is not often that we get a philosophical discussion of the difference between cat people and dog people in a film about a pretend hit man. “Dogs are too needy. They’re like people. We beg for more…embarrass ourselves for the scraps of others.” Another line that amused me was the remark that a man sitting alone, reading Catcher in the Rye is “historically speaking never a good sign.” The depth of the discussion(s) of change and role-playing,  Id versus Ego, and morality is unusual for a comedy (about a pretend hitman) that we might be tempted to term “lightweight.” It IS lightweight, in the sense that the expert ensemble has turned a complex plot with a lot of frothy humor into an exploration of many deeper issues, one being change. A few lines to illustrate: “Your reality will change over time in ways that you cannot even imagine.” “Seize the identity you want for yourself. Life is short. You gotta’ live on your own terms.” And, in a line that is a throwback to Tom Cruise's line in Risky Business, “Sometimes, you just gotta’ make a move.” THE SEX SCENES Editor Sandra Adair (who visited Powell’s classroom when he was in high school), after editing one of the film’s truly hot sex scenes said, “I thought the screen was going to melt in the editing room!” The film’s 35-year-old leading man supposedly broke up with his model girlfriend in 2023. There are so well-done and believable sex scenes that it’s hard to select just one. There’s the dancing scene in a nightclub called Virgo. There’s the tub scene. There's the role play when Aria’s character, Madison “Maddy” Figueros, dresses up as a flight attendant to play seductress. The chemistry onscreen is hot, hot, hot. After the movie, during the Q&A, Adria Arjana said, “You have seen a lot of me tonight.” (Again, laughter). The IMDB website gives the release date as June 7th. It’s a very good movie. It’s original, and you’ll enjoy it on many levels. The cell phone scene alone is worth the price of admission. That scene is complex and operates on three different levels in this pretend hitman film. Don’t miss this Hit Man. And remember when discussing the plot’s resolution: “There are no absolutes, oral or epistemological, in life.”

[missspringthyme]

February 23rd, 2024

Didn't wake up that early, but I had enough time to do ~some~ of the morning routine I'm trying to build. I also sat and did a steam for a bit because I have some 2 very angry cystic pimples on my chin that do not want to go away. Can someone please actually research treatments for hormonal problems in women? I don't want to go back to taking 2 birth control pills on top of my iud.

Also, when I went to pull the chain on my blinds half of it came out of the ceiling. I'm not looking forward to having someone come in to fix it because that means I won't be able to be in my room and I'll have to make sure my rooms clean. At my last flat, I had the shelf that hung over the bed fall down and my curtain rods come out of the walls. Either I don't know my own strength, or I need to stop living in places with soft walls and humidity.

Because I did the steam I did run late to my meeting with my supervisor, but that ended up being fine. It was a really long one, I think around 3ish hours, where he walked us through how to process the behavioural and eeg data. One step closer to being a neuroscience queen who can put 'matlab' on her resume. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, although I'm really glad I wrote out step by step instructions for myself even though he told me I didn't have to. The amount of effort it takes me to look like I know what I'm doing is something he will never know. As I predicted, he's the type to over explain the most basic concepts while breezing past the complicated ones. I'll have to watch out for that, but at least now I have some actual work to do! I'll be processing 16 resting state datasets. Hooray! That's legitimately not sarcastic, if you give something vague like 'explore MATLAB' I will end up frozen doing nothing.

There's something about his theory of timing that just seems off to me. I try to think of at least one question a meeting that kinda picks at it a little, but he seems mostly set in his ideas. I can understand that, but I find it interesting how simple an answer he's looking for. Today I asked him if he feels that 'good timers' would have corresponding neural oscillations, what would he expect to see in these so called good timers when exposed to timing distortions instead of his current method of oddball rhythms. I guess he has to prove the existence of good timers first, eh?

On the bus ride home I sat next to a guy who smelled uniquely bad. Part of it was weed, part of it was something I have difficulty describing. I swear I saw the other guy I sat next to shoot me a warning glance before I sat down. This is partially why I don't want to smoke weed (or own a cat, for that matter). I feel like stoners eventually stop noticing.

At home, I made a big pot of lentil soup and then talked with the Australians, Spanish neighbor, and German American. Spanish neighbor or finished reading Breeding with Bigfoot and had full annotated notes for me, which was a treasure. I say "listen, listen" a lot while holding up a finger apparently, so authentic australian has begun to tease me for it. Now whenever I do it, people do it back to me or say "we're listening". I've decided to try and switch to "hear me!"

[mylifeonprivate]

07.05.22

I’m going to start journaling again. I did it on an app on my phone the other day but Tumblr is just easier for the handoff capability between my phone and my laptop. I’ll copy here the brief summary of the events that have transpired over the six months after Andrew and I broke up. 

“Where did that leave me? I was absolutely devastated. I gave my virginity to this guy, shared so much of myself, introduced him to my family as the guy I’d marry, and now I’m all alone. I never felt more alone. I felt a certain kind of “alone” during the relationship but this post-break up state of being alone made being alive the most exhausting thing I could think of.

I started using the dating apps. It was nerve-wracking but weirdly entertaining. It got me out of the house for sure. At first I was hesitant and shy, and mainly just talked to guys, but I started going on dates in June. I really wanted another boyfriend so I was trying to be meticulous about my choices. By the end of the month, I was already kind of fatigued with the dating game. Having the same conversations over and over took the fun out of it. 

I went on a date with Joseph during the first week of July but I was so in my head about it that I didn’t give it the credit it deserved. He really was the only one I felt like I could speak honestly about the dating lifestyle with. Probably part of me thought that merely having that conversation made him not into me. Either way, my dad got his cancer diagnosis the week after that. 

Joseph and I fell out of contact and I went on other dates. I almost slept with a guy named Andrew. He made me watch two horrible horror movies before trying to get me to spend the night. I regret going on that date but I’m so glad I didn’t sleep with him. 

Joseph snapped me again after a little while and I asked if we could go on another date. We had said we would hang out on Sunday but he forgot, and offered to hang out with me that following Thursday. It was the best date I’d ever gone on. We talked so long at dinner that we almost missed the movie. I enjoyed the movie so much, and made a move in the theater. We made out in his truck afterwards and I asked if he’d let me stay over. We went to his place and had sex, after which he told me he wasn’t really looking for a girlfriend. That was a blow. I’ll never forget that feeling. I’d just given myself to a guy again and this time was instantly punished for it. At that point, I said fuck it and slept with the next three guys that I vibed with. Joseph and I were hanging out and having sex, but I never forgot that he’d said he didn’t want a girlfriend. So I continued seeing the other guys too. I looped in my friends at work. They all had their opinions and comments. I was just living it up, I told them, having my hot girl summer.

At the beginning of September, Joseph blindsided me by asking me to be his girlfriend. Of course, I said yes. He was clearly the favorite and everyone at work knew that too. It was too good an opportunity to pass up, despite how wildly unready I was. I was in no state of mind to be a girlfriend. So painfully unprepared, I slept with two more guys in that next week. Why did I sleep with them, when I knew Joseph was the one I wanted? There’s a million possible reasons. I didn’t trust Joseph with my feelings, and I wanted to hurt him before he hurt me. I was running on pure impulse. I didn’t want to cancel the plans I already had with the others in case something went wrong with my relationship Joseph. There’s no good answer. I cheated on him. TWICE. He found out that I’d seen someone else about two weeks later after we had sex on the day I got my IUD placed. I’d never had anyone yelling at me like he did that night. He called me a whore and made me feel disgusting for seeing other people while I was seeing him. And after going through my phone, he found out I went on a date after us becoming official. He pushed me out of the way, left my place after I chased him out, but we stayed together after that.

Every now and then he’d get angry about that. He found out about how I’d woken up naked on the couch after hanging out with a friend from high school. Then finally in December, before we were going to the Trail of Lights, he found out about the second date I went on. He really lost it then. He hit me for the first time.

We were already planning on taking a trip to Boston to spend Christmas with his family. He was so distraught over the idea of breaking up before this trip that instead he decided to relapse to cope with his emotions. So he was actively relapsing and physically abusing me when we went on this trip.” 

He admitted one of those nights when he was really drunk that he’d slept with a few transgender women. I wanted to thank him for being vulnerable so I admitted that I slept with a guy in that first week we were dating and I went on two other dates.

It was supposed to be a really special time but it was completely overshadowed by the fact that I’d been hiding so many details and lying and gaslighting him over and over again. He’d be very vulnerable and honest with me about it and I’d still lie because I couldn’t afford to feel the way I felt before him and after Andrew. But the fact is, I never processed that breakup and all I was doing was hurting him and myself by letting that shit just sit and rot within me. I would tell him I knew this fact, but still kept lying. This was coupled by the fact that he was verbally, emotionally, and physically abusing me and I was traumatized, which made me want to come clean even less than I already did.

He went out with his friends in March and got drunk and high and ended up in a strip club. He had told me his battery was dying even though I knew it was a lie. He messaged me from his friends instagram telling me to come get him from the strip club. I’ve never been to a fucking strip club. We went in and he paid for me to get a dance and then for us to get a dance as a couple. He said he’d slept with two strippers and I got really uncomfortable and we left. That night he kept doing coke and went through my phone and found out about the other guy I slept with during the first week of our relationship. More abuse came from that.

He went to detox following that episode and decided that he really wanted to be with me and that we could work on this.

A week later at the beginning of April, shit blew up again after we went to the movies, but he got appendicitis and I had to take care of him.

A week after THAT, he started drinking again. His birthday was ruined because we were fighting. I came home after he’d kicked me out and really broke it down that I knew I needed to put in more work. He seemed to have a change of heart after that conversation and really tried to focus on getting better. We even got a dog.

A month later, he relapsed while on work trips and had a horrible episode at the beginning of May related to some texts I had deleted from my coworker. He started drinking that Sunday morning and continued into the evening. He told me to take the dog out and snuck out of the house to go get cocaine. I tracked his location going back and forth between strip clubs. I called him and he said he was dealing and wouldn’t be back until late. He came home at 11 and told me he loved me. He had blood on his shirt and told me he’d had a gun at his head twice that night. 

A day or two after that, he said it’d probably be best for him to go back to rehab. I told him I would fully support that. His mom helped us out and I dropped him off that Wednesday. We wouldn’t be able to talk or text so we started writing letters. Since he decided to go in, he was really positive and has been that way even through the last month that he’s been home. 

[acowardinmordor]

Eddie glanced up from the other side of the room, fussing at his guitar, tonguing the pick between his teeth so it flicked fast, up and down. Steve inhaled wrong, choked on his first hit of the night, and coughed for a few minutes while the rest of the group teased him relentlessly.

“I know how to smoke a joint!” he croaked, before coughing again. 

“Sure you do.”

“Yeah.”

“It’s so obvious.”

“You’re an expert.”

“I have smoked pot before!” He yelled.

“Aw, Dingus, you don’t have to lie to us.”

“Yeah, we’re your friends. Just ask and we can help explain it.” 

“You have seen me smoke. Stop it. I know how to smoke.” And then he coughed again, which set them all off again. “I no longer like any of you, get out of my house.”

Robin stole the joint while he was dying the first time, and it made its way around. Jonathan slid a can across the table, and Steve took a couple sips to get his chest to stop, and get his breathing to calm down. 

He glared at all of them. “Stop. I have smoked. I have smoked many times. I know how to smoke.”

“Everytime you say that, we believe it less.”

“Say Steve, you gotta be careful out there. Have you ever experimented with The Marijauna?”

“Mary Jane? The devil’s lettuce?”

“Have you or someone you loved experienced Reefer Madness?”

“Tried some grass? Some green? Ganja? Hash?”

“Steve, have you ever met a dope fiend?”

“We did this last weekend!” He flopped his arms and fell back in his chair, accepting defeat. He was going to hear about this months. Every time they remembered, it was going to come back. “I hate you. Robin, you’re no longer my best friend. Jonathan, you’re buying beer. Argyle, you’re back on Pizza.”

“Hey! Why don’t Nancy and Eddie get punished?”

“Because Nancy has a gun, and Eddie is sitting in the corner, not being an asshole to me. They’re my only friends now.”

He gestured to them both. Nancy was leaning over her chair, handing the joint to Eddie, who was watching with a wicked gleam in his eyes. He slipped the pick between the strings and set the guitar to the side before he took a short hit. 

Steve should have known better. Fastest way to get Eddie to show off was to point out that he wasn’t. 

He crossed the room, exhaling as he went. 

“Yeah guys, don’t be mean cause it’s Stevie’s first time. He just needs a little help.”

He took a long, deep draw, holding it while Robin accepted the joint. Hands on either side of the chair, Eddie leaned in. Steve knew what this was, and there was no way to get out of it without giving them more ammunition. Tongue caught between his teeth, and beaming at his victory, Eddie closed the gap. When they were close enough that the remaining choices were to shove him off or accept it, Eddie winked. 

He had to be running out of oxygen, but Eddie was stubborn as hell. 

Steve opened his mouth and inhaled while a perfectly controlled, easy, smooth stream of smoke flowed between them. It went long enough that he got dizzy, wobbling in his seat, very nearly breaking the rules. 

It wasn’t a real shotgun if your lips touched. 

Eddie followed the motion and kept them apart.

“See?” Eddie said after a breath “he’s learning. Just needed a hand.” 

Upright again, Eddie bit his lower lip where no one else could see.

Steve blinked, and immediately coughed on lungfuls of smoke. 

[absurdthirst]

Heyy! I just saw your post about “how the guys would feel about buying tampons/pads” and it got me thinking...

How would they react to seeing the side-effect list on your birth control?

Idk if you’ve already done this and I forgot😅but I thought it could be a funny one to explore

Reading the Side-Effects of Your Birth Control:

Javier: He had picked up your birth control from the pharmacy for you. Taking out the packet of paper and frowning at it. Opening it up because he will read practically anything at least once. Besides, he’s always been curious to know what exactly is in the magic little pill that lets him not wear a condom. “Stroke? Death????” He is not a happy camper and encourages you to go off that shit. He can wear a condom. 

Ezra: I refuse to believe that we have advanced in technology to where we can live and travel in space and yet our birth control is not better than it currently is. Refuse. However, Ezra is better versed in your potential side effects of birth control than you are. He has already urged you to discontinue it and let him take care of the problem. Children are not an option with the lives you lead. 

Mando: He has the implant. He knows the side effects. You don’t have to get it if you don’t want to. 

Catfish: Immediately tells you that he can get snipped. If you want. Or you can switch to condoms. He worries about what could happen to you and he already has kids, so if you don’t want any, he can make sure you don’t have to be on it. He’s never really paid attention to that kind of thing but it’s horrifying. 

Pero Tovar: What is birth control? Pulling out? You don’t actually trust the tea you got from that witch, do you?

Agent Whiskey: Actually calls Ginger to schedule having that shit taken out of you. He was fixed when he became a Statesman agent. You don’t have to be on birth control and deal with those potential side affects unless there is a reason you want to stay on it. 

Marcus Pike: He trusts you and your doctor to make the right decision for you. But he also goes on a mini rant about how there should be better funding for research for male birth control to ease some of the burden that is put on women when it comes to that. He feels that both parties should bear the responsibility of being protected and it would lessen teen pregnancies if there was a male oral/implant option. After all a woman can only be pregnant once in nine months where a man can impregnate multiple women. 

Max Phillips: Why do you need birth control? You are going to be a vamp just a soon as he fucks the life out of you. And his swimmers are cold, just like his non-beating heart.

Dave York: He’s aware, he’s been married before. He honestly doesn’t know if it’s a big deal, to be honest. He’s had so many things put into his body by the military and he just assumes that it’s kind of normal. However, he will tell you that if you want, you can go off the birth control. There are alternatives and if you don’t want kids with him, he’ll get a vasectomy. 

Oberyn Martell: Smirks and reminds you that he has eight daughters. He has no clue what birth control means. 

Max Lord: He doesn’t read it. He meant to, but then Raquel gave him another report and he had a business meeting with a potential client. This investor can make Black Gold a success!

Marcus Moreno: Marcus starts researching a different alternative and suggests that you ask your doctor about a non hormonal IUD. Or just go off of it. Condoms are a thing and he’s been hit in the nuts so many times on missions, he has to be sterile by now. He’ll get his swimmers tested. 

Zach Wellison: Zach starts to look into alternative methods of birth control, something that won’t have so many scary side effects. Sitting down and talking to you about it and wanting to know what you want to do. 

MasterList

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[laladellakang]

HELLO! I just wanted to ask, could you do an imagine (if it doesn't bother you 💀), where in something alternative where Della is not using birth control and she's pregnant and loses the baby? Or where she has a pregnancy scare and then starts using contraception.

Sorry if it seems similar to a previous question TT , I hope it does not bother you 😭

okay so let’s just say this is in another alternate universe where della didn’t have an IUD installed. i chose to use the pregnancy scare one since another anon requested sth similar! (and because the other one is too sad ☹️)

WARNING! mentions of spicy stuff (obv)

“Della has been really quiet..” Niki voiced his concern to his two hyungs. “Is she okay?”

“I asked her so many times and the answer is still the same,” Jake replied. “She wouldn’t tell me but you’re right. Something’s up.”

“I asked her too but she kept saying that she’s worried about her assignments and everything,” Heeseung added.

“She looks so anxious. I’m really worried,” Niki rubbed the back of his head.

“Let’s go to her and ask what’s wrong, okay?” the three headed over to her bedroom. “What the..?” only to find Jay and Sunoo pressing their ears to her door.

The two gave Heeyunki a ‘shh’ motion with serious expressions. Sunoo also started typing aggressively on his phone.

‘Della thinks she’s pregnant,’ was what he sent to the boys’ group chat. Heeyunki’s eyes widened and Sungwon, who are in different rooms, typed a ‘what?!’

Sunjay’s eyes started to gloss over, they were trying their best to hold their tears back. ‘It can’t be any of ours,’ Jay typed next.

“No fucking way,” Jake whispered. The three newcomers immediately raced to eavesdrop as well.

“Have you told the boys?” Alice’s voice was heard. It’s clear that it was a Facetime call.

“No, I wanted to be sure first.”

“But… Delle- if you haven’t had sex with any of the boys then who?” all of the boys’ chests started to sink while some also found it hard to breathe.

“No one! Unnie! I’m still a virgin!” Jay and Jake looked at each other with confused faces.

“Then… How can you be pregnant, babe?” Sunghoon and Jungwon have now arrived as well, standing farther away from the lack of space.

Niki and Sunoo made eye contact. Did they understand the conversation properly?

“I’ve dry-humped the boys before-”

“YOU WHAT?! DELLA KANG, SOME OF THEM ARE-” some of them flinched at the sudden raise in volume.

“Shh! Alice! No! Of course not! Only the hyuppas,” at that point, Heejayke hoped that Sunki didn’t understand. “-and they came in their pants like what if it went through our underwear?”

Silence. Everyone was silent.

Alice could not believe what she heard and so did Heejayke. They wanted to laugh but they were just too stunned to do anything.

“And like! I gave them head before!” cue the facepalming.

“And you swallowed?” Alice sounded so tired.

“Yeah!”

“Lala- I-” Heeseung immediately went to type on his phone. ‘False alarm, guys. It’s just Della being.. Della,’ a look of relief washed over all of the guys’ faces.

“It’s not possible, babe. One-hundred-percent not possible. I’m sure it’s just stress and fatigue. You’re probably throwing up because of that too,” the boys slowly backed away from the door.

“I guess…” was the last thing any of them heard.

“AAHH!” suddenly her door opened in the midst of them ‘escaping.’

“How much did you hear?” Della looked at them with a straight face.

“We- we love you!” Jungwon and Sunghoon created an overhead heart in panic after no one could answer.

“Guys, your girlfriend is so cute. Can I have her?” the call with Alice was still connected.

“Come back first then maybe,” Heeseung went over to his girl to give her a hug. “You scared us.”

“Then don’t eavesdrop. I would’ve told you straight after this call,” Della pulled away, talking in her alpha-voice. “You know I’ll find out.”

“Yes. We’re sorry, Della,” they replied in unison.

“Good boys,” Alice’s groan is heard through the speaker.

“You never call me good girl anymor-”

“I’ll call you back later, okay? I love you, unnie. Good girl.”

let me know which fic is your favourite! it means a lot to me 🌟

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[chaotic-archaeologist]

sex ed question: is there anywhere I can find a non-gendered breakdown of exactly what happens at an obgyn visit?

—a trans guy who’s scared as hell

(I’m also scared that I’ll get turned on by it and make things awkward for everyone… I know it’s Not Sexy At All but uhhhh kink makes that Complicated)

Okay, from me, a trans guy who does not love going to the gynecologist, to you:

First, there are a couple of things hat you can do to set yourself up for success. Call the gynecologist that you are planning on going to and explain the situation. If they don't react well, call somewhere else. You deserve to be able to trust your doctor and have an affirming healthcare experience just like everyone else. My gynecologist had never had a trans patient before, but they put their whole staff through a sensitivity training because I called and explained.

Now I'll walk you through what will happen. I'm going to use scientific terms for the anatomy, but I will not use gendered language. Also please note that the exact steps may vary slightly from provider to provider.

The doctor* or nurse will begin by asking you about your health history. This includes medications as well as asking if you are sexually active. Being sexually active can increase the risk of STIs, which is why they ask.

After taking your pulse/blood pressure/other vitals, you will be asked to undress and put on a gown. Depending on the doctor and the purpose of the visit you may be asked to take your shirt and binder off as well as your pants. This is so that they can perform an exam on breast tissue and lymph nodes to make sure that everything is healthy. They will do this by palpating the areas where your lymph nodes are located, including under your arms.

Next you will be asked to put your feet in the stirrups. The doctor will put on gloves and examine your vulva, including your labia and clitoris. There are also lymph nodes in your pelvic region (the crook of your leg) that they may palpate. If you are taking testosterone and your clitoris has become enlarged (often called "bottom growth") the doctor may ask about this. They are asking not to judge, but to make sure they have a thorough understanding of your anatomy to best care for you.

This is where things may vary, so I will describe parts of the exam but I cannot promise they will be in this exact order. If it would make you more comfortable, you can ask the doctor to verbally warn you before they touch any part of your anatomy.

At some point the doctor will get out a speculum. They are most often metal, but there are plastic ones that are making their way into practice. If they plan to use a metal one they might warm it up under hot water from the faucet-- if they don't do this and you would like them to, ask.

The doctor will insert the speculum into your vagina. This ranges from a feeling of pressure, similar to using a tampon, to being quite painful. Testosterone sometimes caused the tissue of your vagina to atrophy, which may contribute to pain. I say this not to scare you, but to make sure you know all of the possibilities. During this process your doctor should be communicating with you about both your physical and emotional comfort level. If at any point you feel like it is too much, tell your doctor.

The doctor will then begin to slowly open the speculum. This is so that they can see your cervix to visually inspect for any abnormalities. The opening of the speculum can be uncomfortable, and again, you should feel free to request a pause or a smaller speculum. If you're having a lot of pain they might also use lidoane gel to numb the entrance to your vagina.

After the doctor has visualized your cervix they may do a pap smear. They will use two cotton swabs to take samples of cells from your cervix to screen for cervical cancer. Note that if they have not used a lot of lube up until this point, it is because the lube would contaminate the pap smear. After doing the pap smear they will close the speculum and remove it. Again, communicate if you are having any discomfort.

The doctor will also perform an exam with their finger. They push their finger gently into your vagina and feel around to check for abnormal textures or sensitivity. When they are done they will remove their finger.

After these steps are complete you will be free to put your clothes back on.

Depending on what you want out of this trip to the gynecologist, you may talk with the doctor about what birth control option is right for you. This will depend on your medical history and exam. For example, some people may have difficulty tolerating an IUD. Testosterone can shrink the uterus, which is one factor to take into consideration if/when you have this discussion.

Finally, to address your worry about getting turned on: these doctors look at vulvas and vaginas all day, every day for a living. You will not be the first person, nor will you be the last, to experience arousal (should that happen) during an exam. The doctor will not judge you.

*Note: I've used "doctor" here but there are also other people who are qualified to do a pelvic exam and pap smear (the process described above) such as a nurse/midwife, nurse practitioners, and physician assistants.

I hope that this helps,

-Reid