#got 7 incorrect quotes

[lilyrennifer]

*Mark and Jay B enter a dive bar*

Mark: Look, I know you're disappointed. 😔 But could we at least have a drink? 🥃

Jay B in a scuba diving suit: 🙎🏻 I would like to leave, please.

[watermelonsloth]

Naruto: Sasuke is my friend! And if I love him, it’s as a brother!

Itachi: Well, Sasuke is my brother and if he looked at me the way you look at him, I’d call the police.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Charlie: “-so we have TONS of angel-killing weapons now, thanks to Vaggie! Who had a lovely… Errrr. Fight?”

Vaggie: “It was pretty one sided. Call it a training match.”

Charlie: “She had a lovely training match with Carmilla Carmine! Who repeatedly kneed and kicked her in the face, which I’m not allowed to get upset about, because Vaggie isn’t upset about it!”

Sir Pentious: “Oh that sssounds… Pleasssant?”

Angel Dust: “Of course the one time Saint Sapphic isn’t pissed is when someone actually beats the crap outta her.”

Husk: “Wha’d I say? She’s got issues.”

Niffty: “Kneed in the face by Carmilla Carmine!?” (wistful sigh) “Lucky…”

Husk: “And you’ve got even worse issues, somehow.”

Vaggie: “Meanwhile, Charlie was off singing herself up a whole army in Cannibal Town.”

Charlie: “I wouldn’t call them a whole army-”

Vaggie: “They barely fit inside the hotel, babe.”

Charlie: “-and I wouldn’t really call it mine. Alastor and Rosie helped!”

Vaggie: “Did they give you the cannibal army?”

Charlie: “Nnnnoooo… I mean they did introduce me, but I had to do the convincing part myself.”

Vaggie: “Then it’s your army.”

Charlie: “Huh.”

Charlie: “…..hm.”

Vaggie: “Feels kinda nice, doesn’t it?”

Charlie: (giggling) “Maaaybe a little~”

Angel Dust: “If yous two LBs start kissin’ about the literal man eating army now under ya sway, I’m gonna be sick.”

Vaggie: “Aren’t you supposed to have zero gag reflex?”

Angel Dust: “That’s for sex stuff, Vaggitales. This is sappy and sincere.”

Husk: “A word that’s barely in your fucking vocabulary.”

Charlie: “Now Husk, you know that’s not true-”

Angel Dust: “Oh it’s true baby! But I’d be sucha a gooood little school boy if ya wanted to try teachin’ me, Purrrrfessor~”

Husk: “Can we feed him to the cannibals.”

Charlie: “No!”

Vaggie: “If they get sick before the big fight then we’re all dead.”

Angel Dust: “Hey!”

Sir Pentious: (SNIFFLING)

Charlie: “Oh oh Pen! Don’t be scared- no one’s feeding anyone to any cannibals!”

Vaggie: “Well. We’re not feeding anyone from the hotel to them…”

Charlie: “You hush, beautiful. Now there there Pentious, what wrong?”

Sir Pentious: “Nothing issss now! But EVERYTHING wasss, while you and missss Vaggie were fighting!”

Vaggie: “We weren’t-”

Charlie: “That was just me being-”

Vaggie & Charlie: “...”

Vaggie: “Sorry, you go-”

Charlie: “No no after you!”

Vaggie & Charlie: “..…..”

Hotel Crew: “….”

Vaggie: “Charlie had good reasons for being angry-”

Charlie: “I wasn’t angry! Or, not the way I THOUGHT I was? It’s complicated-”

Vaggie: “Valid. Reasonable. Way more forgiving than called for.”

Charlie: “If I’d just TALKED with you like you’d WANTED-”

Vaggie: “You didn’t want to. That’s fair.”

Charlie: “I guess, but. It wasn’t fun.”

Sir Pentious: “No it wasss not!” (crying) “It sssseemed as though you were ssssplitting up! L-leaving ussss! It wasss! DREADFUL!!”

Charlie: “Ohhhhh nooooo we would never-!”

Vaggie: “The hotel thing is kinda bigger than one relationship, Pentious. We’re not giving up on you guys.”

Charlie: “-and that’s also why we’d never break up.”

Vaggie: “Never’s a long time sweetie… and three years was a long time too.”

Charlie: “Not with you it wasn’t. And forever won’t be either.”

Vaggie: “…”

Angel Dust: “If you cry, I really will throw up.”

Vaggie: “Shut up.”

Charlie: (hugs vaggie) “See, Pen? You don’t have to worry about us, okay?”

Sir Pentious: “Okay. Y-essss.”

Charlie: “Shh sshh, please don’t cry…”

Sir Pentious: (wailing) “I can’t help it!!!”

Vaggie: “Hey, how come HIS tears aren’t vomit worthy but MINE are??”

Angel Dust: “Cuz he’s a sad snake boy in a top hat that cuddles with eggs, and you’re supposed to be tough as nails and impossible to fucking break, Vagina. Seein’ ya as being anything other than gay or pissed? Stomach turning. Yuck” 

Husk: “You’ve got issues too, dumbass.”

Angel Dust: “I know.” (preens) “But they look GOOD on me~”

Sir Pentious: (snuffles) “It’sss jussst so good, sssssseeing you two the way you sssshould be! Ugh.” (dripping) “May I borrow a, a tisssssue, Niffty?”

Niffty: “SURE-”

Husk: “You don’t fucking want that or to know where the fuck it’s been. Here. Napkin.”

Sir Pentious: “Thankssss!”

Sir Pentious:  (LOUD NOSE BLOWING HONK)

Charlie: “Better?”

Sir Pentious: “Much, yessss. But how did you manage it?”

Charlie: “Manage what?”

Sir Pentious: “Fixssssing thingsss between you! After it wasss so bad!”

Husk: “Without any alcohol, even.”

Sir Pentious: "Or exssssplossions!"

Angel Dust: “Yeah toots, three years of not sayin’ she was an angel is a pretty big shit pile to have dropped on ya, even in hell.”

Niffty: “YEAH VAGGIE! HOW MANY SOULS HAVE YOU KILLED?!”

Vaggie: “Thousands.”

Husk: “FUCK.”

Niffty: “OoooOOoohhhhh~”

Angel Dust: “Now that’s a body count. Like, not a good one but. Wow.”

Sir Pentious: “Sssee? And now Charlie isss hugging you! How iss that possssible?”

Vaggie: “… I don’t… I, gave her space….”

Charlie: “She’s Vaggie. I already knew who she was.”

Husk: “Exorcist.”

Angel Dust: “Liar?”

Niffty: “Mass MURDERER heheheh…”

Charlie: “My partner.”

Sir Pentious: “I don’t underssstand! Did ssshe sssay ssssorry?”

Vaggie: “Sorry really wouldn’t cut it.”

Charlie: (laughing) “She helped me start the hotel- and run it- and get my dad’s help talking to heaven, and- more things than I can count, honestly! Doesn’t that say enough?”

Sir Pentious: “Oh… ssso wordsss are not… what mattersss?”

Charlie: “They can matter, but it’s what we DO that makes them mean anything.”   

Sir Pentious: "...what we... do?"

Angel Dust: “Like how heaven and it’s angels say it’s all full of great people up there but then they go an' leave us all to rot and die, yeah?”

Charlie: “Vaggie didn’t."

Angel Dust: "Score! Hell's got ONE angry lesbian on it's side!"

Charlie: "And I won’t either.”

Hotel Crew: “…”

Husk: “Are we done. I need a drink.”

Vaggie: “Y-eah.” (hoarse) (clears throat) “That’s where we’re at now. Any questions?”

Angel Dust: (raises hands) “Husk has one!”

Husk: “Fuck you no I don’t-”

Angel Dust: “Sure ya do babypaws. What the FUCK-”

Angel Dust: (points at Vaggie’s wings)

Angel Dust: “-are THOOOOOOSE???”

Vaggie: “…Those are my wings. Asshole.”

Angel Dust: “Bitch~”

Husk: “Motherfucking dumbasses.”

Charlie: “Angel please, it’s rude to point like that! And to um. Say the other part also- but that’s okay I know you mean it in a nice way!”

Angel Dust: “An’ what about Saint Vagatha huh? She called me shit too! Was that her bein’ nice?”

Charlie: “She-”

Vaggie: “I’m nicely not stabbing you.”

Charlie: “-she’s trying her best.”

Angel Dust: “By not stabbing me?”

Husk: “Now that’s impressive as hell.”

Vaggie: “Thanks.”

Angel Dust: “Hmph. Lucky a guy can take pride in people wantin' to stick stuff in him...”

Sir Pentious: “Vaggie? Pleasse pardon the quesstion, however I ssssseem to recall you sssaying you didn’t HAVE any, ah, wingssss?”

Niffty: “Or tits!”

Vaggie: “They grew back.”

Niffty: “Did your t-”

Vaggie: “Niffty-” (groans) “Look, there’s a cockroach over there. Go hunt, kill- whatever.”

Niffty: "KILL KILL KILL-!"

Charlie: “Aren’t her wings AMAZING! LOOK AT THEM!!! You guys have no idea how soft-! wait they what? Grew back?”

Angel Dust: (grinning) “What about your-”

Vaggie: “Ask about my tits twice in one day and die.”

Charlie: “They were gone? You weren’t just hiding them- Twice?”

Niffty: (on vaggie’s shoulder) (checking down her shirt) “Nope! Tits still missing. Nice pecs though!”

Vaggie: “………”

Angel Dust: “She said it, not me!!”

Vaggie: (SIGH) “These are the people I’m about to risk my life for.”

Charlie: “I feel like I’ve missed something important..?”

Husk: “No you fucking haven’t.”

Angel Dust: “So oh heavenly cunt, what the fuck did ya do with Carmine to get the feather dusters reinstated?”

Vaggie: “No idea. Uh- Thought gay thoughts about Charlie? I guess?”

Charlie: “Awww~!”

Sir Pentious: “Aww!!”

Vaggie: “And mostly non-violent thoughts about the rest of you.”

Niffty: “Booo…”

Vaggie: “Anyway, since Lute didn’t use heavenly steel while tearing them off my back, I guess they just needed time to heal up or whatever.”

Charlie: “I’m SO gonna send a thank-you note to Carmilla for helping you with… tha….”

Charlie: “….tEARING? She, Lute-”

Vaggie: “Not now. Tell you later, babe.”

Charlie: “BUt- I’ve met her TWICE and you didn’t say-!”                   

Vaggie: “Let’s focus on finishing debriefing the troo- the friends for now. ‘kay?”

Charlie: “I…”

Angel Dust: “I TOLD YA IDIOTS IT MIGHT BE A SENSITIVE FUCKING TOPIC!”

Husk: “Then why the fuck did you bring it up!?”

Angel Dust: “My mouth likes to be open and stupid shit comes out of it sometimes- I dunno!”

Vaggie: “Yeah well I’m so not about to start spilling the gory details in the hotel lobby. The cannibals are already starting to look hungry. If we’re up to date on the mission statement and current crew resource management situation, then-”

Niffty: “Hey Vaggie, Vaggieee.”

Vaggie: “What.”

Niffty: (giggles) “Did Lute steal your tits too?”

Vaggie: “….”

Angel Dust: “…what? Don’t glare at ME about ya blindly obvious shortfall in that depar-Tit-ment-”

Husk: “Shut up before she fucking tests some of her new shiny weapons on you.”

Vaggie: “Don’t give me ideas.”

Charlie: “Why is everyone talking about my girlfriend’s breasts. She got her wings ripped off and suddenly has them back, and we’re all just, talking about bra size???”

Angel Dust: “Toots, if she wears bras, it’s gotta be just so’s she looks good for you.”

Vaggie: “I’ll take that compliment.”

Angel Dust: “I wasn’t sayin’ it as one-”

Vaggie: “Change your mind or lose your hair.”

Angel Dust: “-you’re a very loving lesbian and ya make Sappho the OG herself proud.”

Vaggie: “Better.”

Sir Pentious: “E-excusssse me!? Thisss, sssssadistic Lute person iss, ssssssomeone we will be fighting against..?”

Vaggie: “Yeah but I’ll handle her, don’t worry.”

Charlie: “wHAT!?”

Vaggie: “I said, I’m the one who knows how she fights anyway, so I’ll-”

Charlie: “YOU. WILL. NOT-”

Demon Charlie: “-NIFFTY DON’T YOU DARE STUFF THAT DEAD COCKROACH DOWN MY GIRLFRIEND’S SHIRT!!!”

Vaggie: “AUGH?!”

Niffty: “Aww.”

Angel Dust: “Oh that’s nasty.”

Husk: "Hreaugh." (hairball noise) “Whatever’s wrong with you, Niffty, never EVER fucking tell me what it is.”

Niffty: (waving cockroach) “It’s just for padding~ You know what they say! Every little bit helps! Right?”

Charlie & Vaggie: “NO!”

Niffty: (CACKLING)

Sir Pentious: “…..thisss isss, sssssso beautiful….”

Husk: “The fucking cockroach?”

Sir Pentious: “No. Them.” (wipes tear) “They’re ssstill, hugging.”

Angel Dust: “Yeah... It’s almost sweet enough to make a guy puke.”

Husk: “Almost?”

Angel Dust: “Well I’m not gonna ruin the mood for them by actually puking!”

Husk: (smiles) “Uh-huh.”

Angel Dust: “Plus, think of my boots! What if they got splashed on and shit?”

Husk: “Right.”

Angel Dust: “And Niffty’s doin’ good work breakin’ the tension and grossin’ them out anyway…”

Husk: “Mm-hmm.”

Angel Dust: “��.And. It’s nice to see ‘em bein’ cute again.”

Husk: “…..”

Angel Dust: “….because it was weird when they weren’t and maybe, MAYBE, I was worried.”

Husk: “There we fucking go. Good boy.”

Angel Dust: “!!!”

Sir Pentious: “Oh that sseems to have cheered him up immenssely..”

Husk: "Fuck."

Angel Dust: “Oooh~ Nauseous to horny in less than a second? Damn, Purrrfessor. That’s a new record even for me~”

Husk: “Fuck no.” (fleeing)

Husk: “Alright, I’m opening the fucking bar! Come get your complimentary we might all be dying together soon drinks- and nobody fucking DARE ask me to use body parts in them. This isn’t fucking Cannibal Town. My drinks are good enough without fingers or eyeballs floating in them or whatever.”

Cannibal crowd: (grumbles but politely ques up for drinks)

Charlie: “I think maybe we’ll pass? Vaggie? Our room, us, alone, maybe?”

Vaggie: “Are we gonna talk about stuff?”

Charlie: “I would VERY MUCH like to talk about all things now yes please.”

Vaggie: “Then I’m gonna need a drink. Husk-”

Husk: “Take the fucking bottle.”

Angel Dust: “Here, and this bottle too!”

Charlie: “Oh thank you Angel D- is this LUBE!? Already OPENED lube!??!?”

Angel Dust: “Happy make-up sex~”

Charlie: “I- Vaggie no, not the spear- thanks, Angel Dust, but I think- Vaggie I said not the spear- I think we can do without borrowing your, uh, personal bottle of- okay that’s it, up over the shoulder you go. Hup!”

Vaggie: “I’m gonna kill him! I’m gonna save him from the extermination by killing him RIGHT NOW!”

Charlie: “-and you told me to ignore you when you talk like that. Anyway, everyone else have good night with the drinks and cannibals!”

Angel Dust: "Will do, toots! You gays enjoy eatin' each other out!"

Vaggie: “Babe please just let me strangle him a little bit-”

Charlie: “Nope! We’re gonna go explore some past trauma!”

Angel Dust: “An’ each other’s bodies!!!”

Charlie: (carrying vaggie upstairs) “Not helping!”

Vaggie: (still struggling) “I don't NEED to talk about my trauma- i need to get my hands on that asshole twink!"

Angel Dust: "GET IN LINE BEHIND HALF OF HELL, VAG-GAY!"

Charlie: "Hold my hand instead?"

Vaggie: "...."

Vaggie: (melting) (holds hand) "...fiiiiine."

[pain-is-too-tired]

Michael,panicking cause he can't find Will:Has anyone seen my brother???

Michael:Oh gods- Will!!

Lee,also panicking: That mother's adrenaline is kicking in-

Michael:WILL!!

Lee,still in panic:I can see every equation-

Michael, talking to one of the other head counselors:Excuse me, ma'am, have you seen my brother?? He's about this tall, clearly Bi but we hadn't had the talk-

Lee, looking in one of the storage rooms and falling over everything :Will ARE YOU IN THERE???

[im-still-watching-anime]

naruto: do you ever think about how kakashi-sensei acts more like our dad than our teacher?

sasuke, thinking about fugaku: don’t be stupid he’s way too nice to us to be like a dad

[reaperlight]

Sadie: What did you get Venom for Christmas?

Teddy: We got him a chicken.

Sadie: Really? Us too!

Rex: We also got him a chicken.

Flash: Looks like we all had the same idea.

Teddy: Cletus, please tell me you didn't get Venom a chicken too?

Cletus [sighing]: Me and Frances and Carnage ...we all got him chickens too.

[*In their apartment surrounded by chickens*]

Eddie: Hooboy.

Venom: This is the best present ever!

[duodipersponsh]

dazai: i'm ugly

chuuya: *opens his mouth to say something supportive*

chuuya: *remembers just how objectively, obviously attractive dazai is, closes his mouth*

chuuya, starting to explain his thought process: you know, seeing how this is my job as your boyfriend, i was going to argue but do you really-

dazai: wait, your job as my boyfriend is to argue with me?

chuuya: ...THAT TOO

dazai: aww then it'll soon be our ten year anniversary <3

[fgfirenation]

Leviathan : MC! I found this new MOBA game from the human world, that got released in the Devildom! It looks awesome!

MC : Really??? What's the name???

Leviathan : I don't really remember, but it was something along the lines of League of Legends-

MC : * has a dark aura around them * Don't you dare play it.

Leviathan : Wha- Why???

MC : DON'T YOU DARE PLAY IT!

Leviathan : Fine! Fine! I won't! Geez...

* later *

Leviathan : * still played the game against MC's orders *

Leviathan : * also playing midlane as Ahri * The tutorial was easy and the bot games too! MC was wrong! I don't know why they were so hard about this! 5/0/7. I'm literally carrying this team of noobs... Wait... Where's Warwick-

* An ally has been slain *

[moron-hassaikai-and-more]

Overhaul: *making a new account on something idk probably moshi monsters*

Website: create a password

Overhaul, typing: Hari

Website: that password is too short

Overhaul: I know he is.

[canonisdead]

Guardian: Sorry if I come across as stupid.

Guardian: It's because I am.

[lilyrennifer]

BamBam: You know what I’m saying? 🤨

Jay B: You don't even know what you're saying. 😑

[venuslarkspur]

Batsis!Reader and The Concerning Dating History - Incorrect Quotes 2

Warnings: References to sexual activity.

Notes: None.

————————

8am, Wayne Manor.

*Tim, pouring himself some coffee from the pot*

Roy, coming out of Batsis!Reader’s room: You mind? :)

Tim: Yeah okay 👍 *pours him some coffee*

Roy, whilst walking back into Batsis’s room: Thanks. 👋

Tim, while taking a long sip of coffee: …..Wait.

————————

*Batsis!Reader’s phone starts ringing*

Dick: Are you gonna get that?

Batsis!Reader: Ugh no, it’s probably Hal again.

Barbara, while looking at the phone: It’s Diana.

Batsis!Reader scrabbling to her feet and knocking Dick out the way: ANSWER.

————————

*Jason, Steph and Batsis!Reader sitting at the side of the road because the Batmobile broke down*

Jason: this sucks.

Steph: l didn’t bring money for a taxi.

Batsis!Reader: We don’t have to get a taxi, I’ve got Wally’s number. He can pick us up.

Steph: Oh grea-

Jason: wait- Why have you got Wally’s number?

Steph: …

Batsis!Reader: Erm…surprise?

Jason: I refuse to believe this.

Batsis!Reader: In my defence, this was about 7 years ago.

————————

That’s it y’all I have more exams coming up 😢

[aventurineswife]

Welcome to my HSR 1 Masterlist!

Here, you'll find HSR fanfictions, headcanons, and maybe a few surprises along the way.

Feel free to send in your requests!

Incorrect Quotes: (1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6), (7), (8), (9), (10), (11), (12)

“He looks like a dream, the prettiest boy I've ever seen" | Argenti x Reader

“Do you think we are soulmates in every universe?" | Aventurine x Reader

A Gentle Helping Hand | Dan Heng x Sick!Reader

Early Morning Reassurance | Aventurine x Reader

“Why didn't you answer any of my letters?” | Dr Veritas Ratio x Reader

‘Cause I'm a jealous, jealous, jealous boy | Part 1, Part 2

The Morning After | Husband!Sunday x Reader

“It's ugly, isn't it?” | Aventurine x Reader

Ties that Bind Us | Aventurine/Kakavasha x Reader

Reader with an Alter Ego, Veliona | Gepard, Sampo, Aventurine, Ratio x Reader

“Don't you want me like I want you, baby? Don't you need me like I need you now?” | Aventurine x Reader

Running in the Shadows | Moze x Reader

Welcome back, Kakavasha | Aventurine x Reader

He craves your touch | Boothill x Reader

Stages of Shadows | A HSR Series

Your lips, my lips, apocalypse | Blade, Sampo, Gepard, Aventurine, Sunday x Reader

“Both your hands in the hole of my sweater” | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

“And it feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders” | Sunday x Reader

“I kissed the scars on his back” | Aventurine x Reader

“Drunk Words are Sober Thoughts” | Aventurine x Reader

“Can we always be this close forever and ever?” | Aventurine x Reader

Cats are like potato chips; you can’t have just one. | Aventurine x Reader

“Ooh, You set my soul alight” | Aventurine x Reader

Temptation Awaits... Or Not? | Siren! Aventurine x Reader

Chuu! <3 | Kaveh, Aventurine x Reader

Beauty Marks | Aventurine x Reader

“I just wanna be your favorite mistake.” | Aventurine x Reader

“My love, you'll never be unloved by me” | Aventurine x Reader

“I never believed in luck until I met you.” | Aventurine x Reader

“You've Got a Friend” | Aventurine x Madea!Reader

“You can say that we are nothing, but you know the truth” | Topaz x Reader

Kiss the Colours onto Me | Aventurine x Reader

“You think you’re clever, but just remember: I’m one step ahead” | Aventurine x Reader

“Lullabies are the sound of love and safety” | Aventurine x Reader

“You are the Reason” | Aventurine x Reader

“You can’t expect to stay in someone’s heart when you were never truly invited” | Ratio x Reader

Shopping Date w/ Aventurine! | Aventurine x Reader

Love is a Gamble | Aventurine x Shapeshifter!Reader

Flowers for My Love! | Gepard, Aventurine, Sunday, Jing Yuan x Reader

A Day of Pampering! | Aventurine x Reader

Kisses and Kisses everywhere!! | Dan Heng, Blade, Aventurine x Reader

Aventurine x Avgin!Reader | Part 1 | Part 2

“In Simple Things, I Found You” | Aventurine x Reader

Pathetic Sunday is the Best! | Sunday x Reader

A Taste of Jealousy | Blade, Kafka, Aventurine, Sunday, Acheron x Reader

HSR characters and their favourite type of Goth Girl | Blade, Kafka, Sunday, Robin, Aventurine x Reader

“I’ll be your bed, or anything else you want me to be” | Aventurine x Reader

Mini troublemakers! | Stellaron Hunters x Robot!Reader

“I Wanna Make You Mine” | Yan!AvenTio x Reader x Yan!ArgentHill

Dan Heng Relationship HCs

HSR characters with a Reader who's into Otome Games | Ratio, Aventurine, Jade, Kafka, Blade, Jing Yuan x Reader

HSR Characters with a Tomboy S/O | Ratio, Aventurine, Reca x Reader

“You're doing a good job, love!” | Argenti, Aventurine, Feixiao, Firefly x Reader

“In a world of risk, love is the ultimate reward” | Aventurine x Mitsuri!Reader

What lies Beneath | Dan Heng x Reader

“I'll be there for you” | Aventurine x Emu!Reader

“Draw me like one of your French girls” | Welt, Argenti, Aventurine, Dan Heng x Reader

“When I’m with you, the world’s a better place” | Aventurine x Cat!Reader

Kisses Like Honey | Aventurine x Reader

“In every conceivable manner, the family is linked to our past, bridge to our future” | Aventurine x Reader

“Sometimes, the hardest part of letting go is realizing that the dream was never real” | Sunday x Reader

Chasing Stars and Sweet Nothings | Aventurine, Sunday x Elysia!Reader

Under the Stars | Aventurine x Disabled!Reader

The Gamble of Lost Hearts | Aventurine x Reader | Part 2

High School AU | Aventurine x Reader| Part 1 | Part 2

“With you, It's different” | Aventurine x Autisic!Reader

"Let me make you an offer, Friend" | Aventurine x Teen!Reader

Drowning in Love | Aventurine x Reader

On a snowy day | Kakavasha x Reader

Feather Light Kisses | Sunday, Robin x Reader

Closer by Competition | College AU | Aventurine x Reader

A Family in the Stars | Boothill x Reader

“I won’t give up on us, even if the skies get rough” | Aventurine x Reader

The Best Present | Aventurine x Reader

"Take me to church, I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies." | Sunday x Reader

Dan Heng Imbibitor Lunae x Reader

Games of Survival | Aventurine x Teen!Reader

Proposal Bite Mark | Aventurine x Reader

Braiding Dan Heng IL's Hair | Dan Heng Imbibitor Lunae x Reader

“Love doesn’t need words; it only needs understanding” | Aventurine x Deaf!Foxian!Reader

“Money is the anthem of success, So, before we go out, what's your address?” | Aventurine x Reader

(Read this before making a request!)

[connorsbonez]

Stalkers and Cryptids

Incorrect Quotes #3

Tim: There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.

Danny:

Bernard:

Wes:

Everyone Else At Tim’s Surprise Birthday Party:

Danny: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

0000000000

Tim: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.

Danny: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.

Bernard: A realist sees a freight train.

Wes: The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.

000000000

Danny: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?

Bernard: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Danny: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you.

Bernard: But I heard a siren.

Wes: That was Tim.

Tim: Sorry, I got nervous.

0000000000

Bernard: What if people had food names and food had people names?

Danny: Hey, spaghetti, we're having Wes for dinner.

Wes: What is wrong with you people?

Tim: Shut up, chocolate.

0000000

Wes, banging on the door: Tim! Open up!

Tim: Well, it all started when I was a kid...

Bernard: No, they meant-

Danny: Let them finish.

000000000

Tim: What's it like being tall?

Danny: Is it nice?

Bernard: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

Wes: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want.

000000000

Wes: Christmas is cancelled.

Tim: You can't cancel a holiday.

Wes: Keep it up, Tim, and you'll lose New Year's too.

Tim: What does that mean?

Wes: Danny, take New Year's away from Tim.

000000

Bernard: Why is Danny crying on the floor?

Wes: They took one of those 'which Amity Park ghost are you?' quizzes.

Bernard: And?

Wes: He got Plasimus.

0000000

Danny: Wes isn't answering his phone

Bernard: I'll call

Danny: Tim and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

Wes: Hello?

000000

Wes: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions?

Danny: Put spaghetti in it.

Wes: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you.

Tim: Put spaghetti in it.

Wes: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two.

Bernard: Put spaghetti in it.

Wes: I am no longer taking suggestions.

[im-still-watching-anime]

kakashi: alright better do a headcount and make sure all of the kids are here - one, two, three— oh my god how are so many missing

kakashi: no. wait. i don’t have eight kids. it’s three kids, eight is the dogs.

[aydien677]

Incorrect Quotes part 7

Mc: *throws Pokéball that she got from Solomon at Lucifer*

Lucifer: "What the fu-" *it works*

Mc: "Gotta catch em all."

Solomon: *leaves to catch Barbatos*

Shapeshifter!Mc: *just existing*

Mammon: "If Mc can shapeshift does that make them genderfluid?"

Satan: "Damn, you actually had a smart thought."

Leviathan: "Can't they still be non-binary like Double-Trouble from She-Ra?"

Belphie: "Mc isn't a sheep?"

Asmodeus: "Anyone heard of Bigender?"

Lucifer: "Mc identifies as Mc."

Mammon: "What?"

Shapeshifter!Mc: "I am yes."

Mc: "You know, the most fucked up thing is how God named Lucifer Morningstar when autistic kids are often called starchild. Lucifer's had it right in front of his face this whole time."

The brothers: "..."

Lucifer: "I hate everything."

Kid!Mc: "Crime!"

Simeon: "What?!"

Lucifer: "Tax fraud, treason, or arson?"

Simeon: "Don't encoura-"

Kid!Mc: "ARSON!"

Solomon: "I taught them so well."

Mc: "Pleasssssssse?"

Lucifer: "I am not wearing the princess dress Mc."

Mc: "If you weren't a pretty princess then why did God make you look like Snow White?"

Lucifer: "..."