#google earth tricks

[secondlastk]

by the time you read the third locked tomb book you get so caught up in hunting for patterns that you’ll feel like

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for correcting harmless misinformation?

I'm 20, my friends in this story are in their 30's-50's, genders irrelevant. Occasionally one of them will post something neat they saw on social media (facebook usually) and about half the time it'll be relatively harmlessly, but inaccurately, captioned. Examples include:

- that one picture of river outflow meeting the sea [captioned as "the line where the pacific and atlantic oceans meet"],

-some silly unsourced posts about X holiday being Secretly Wiccan Until The Christians Stole It (it wasn't. lot more complicated and nuanced than that!)

- very well done digital art of "rainbow galaxy visible from earth"

I don't want my friends to be tricked! They're all very smart people, just a little credulous sometimes when they're online (aren't we all?). I try to gently correct the information (ex. "this is actually art by [artist]!") and end it by giving a reason I'm still glad they brought it up (ex: "It's SO well done, though - absolutely gorgeous and really sparks my imagination!").

Thing is, none of the stuff they've posted is, like... particularly harmful misinfo so far? It's just people being Wrong, albeit sometimes intentionally, on the Internet. People are allowed to be Wrong on the internet.

Am I being a buzzkill for not just keeping my mouth shut? Am I letting my urge to be Correct overpower me? Should I just let people enjoy things? I'm scared I'm being rude to my friends, when all they want is to show the groupchat something cool they saw and thought we'd like! I'm not really sure what the social Rules are for something like this, and so I ask the jury:

Am I an asshole, folks?

(if mod's ok with it) please hit me in the comments with your favorite fake social media post. i really like the digitally altered red peacock footage

What are these acronyms?

Okay I was gonna leave mine in the tags--it's the blue watermelon photoshop that resurfaces every so often, claiming to be real and with some esoteric description about its flavor--but then I googled it to make sure I was remembering it right and found this absolute gem of an amazon listing:

Look at these extremely real and extant fruits that definitely aren't the same image over and over

[noneorother]

All the music you didn’t hear in Good Omens. (And I found a new P&P reference) *Part4*

Part 1  l  Part 2 l Part 3 l Part 4

The Bonkers Meta Series 2: Electric Boogaloo. It never ends.

So if you've been paying attention, you know that the number 2 is an incredibly important idea in season 2 of Good Omens. Well, I think it might be more than just the number two. I think it might actually be the concept of Double Meanings. Here's the first one I found.

When you google P&P Book you get : Pride & Prejudice, by our favourite Brandy smuggler: Jane Austen.

But when you google P&P Film, you get the life's work of ... Powell & Pressburger! Both prominent nods in the series that Neil and the gang seem pretty happy to talk about. This seemed like maybe it could be a coincidence to me, so I started looking up other nods in the series to see if my theory scans. Check this out :

P&P (1948) The Red Shoes Kate Bush (1993) P&P (1945) I know where I'm going Scottish traditional - Burl Ives (1941) P&P (1946) A matter of life & death / Stairway to Heaven Led Zepplin (1971) P&P (1949) The (Small) Back Room Van Morrison

P&P (1950)

Wild at Heart/Gone to Earth

David Sylvian

and here’s the P&P reference I think no one caught yet! Remember who Aziraphale learned the sleight of hand magic trick from in 1941? Prof Hoff.

P&P (1951) - musical The Tales of Hoffman Opera by Offenbach (1881) I linked everything so you can go listen or read about the the movies/music in question. However, be warned the opera is over two hours. Clearly I’m missing one, because I’m a series of six episodes there’s now way they put five references in, but I’m having a hard time finding it. If you know what it is, please let me know!

My point - my point here, is that I think rather than trying to find the “right” interpretation of the story of season 2 with confusing facts and confounding dialogue, these double entendres serve as a guide to show us how “both stories are going on at the same time” can be analyzed separately AND together, and that they live right on top of one another.

Want to hear my analysis of both the movie playlist and the music playlist? It’s on the way!

[mnemosyne-nyx]

✨ Bruce Wayne Headcanons that haunt me but I refuse to elaborate on even if they're utterly wrong Pt. 2✨

Going feral over this man

Hal and Bruce almost share a birthday and it fucking infuriates Bruce for no reason.

My guy was a rebellious teenager growing up, you know, trauma baby tings but also wanting to distance himself from the elite society (I mean rich Gotham really is a different cesspool of evilness lmao who can blame the poor guy.) Not to get deep but the beginning of his crusade was him wanting to seek a life and identity beyond the Wayne name right and witness Gotham from all angles. However, after realising he can both honour and build upon his legacy, Bruce destroyed any proof of this phase as he associates it with his turbulent and troubled coming of age. Little does he know there's a box filled with Polaroids within the 73288199 attics of Wayne Manor ready for his kids to find plus his detailed knowledge about the punk scene of Gotham makes them suspicious anyway.

Bruce learns a lot from his children. He may be their mentor but he's definitely learnt acrobatic tricks from Dick Grayson, combat and body language from Cass etc etc. Black Canary one day complimenting an acrobatic move of Bruce's only for him to have learnt it from one 11 year old Dick Grayson.

Bruce knows every nook and cranny of the watchtower. This guy designed, funded and helped build this fucking thing. Superman can hear him fuckin scurrying in the hundreds of boiler rooms, hidden corridors and storage rooms like a human rat. Flash doesn't understand how this man just teleports from one end of the tower to the other not knowing Bruce built trapdoors, hidden passageways, fake walls in this place. Bruce has a hiding spot in the upper levels of the watchtower where a small window gives view to Earth. J'onn is the only leaguer who can rival Batman in his watchtower knowledge.

He is the unofficial caretaker of the justice league. He makes sure all catering and quarters are fully equipped to people's needs. Overhears a leaguer saying there aren't enough vegetarian options? Bam, fully renewed menu. Barry complaining he can't sleep because his quarter is too cold? Bam, temperature risen. Small things like office supplies, medical equipment - he's always taking mental notes of. He knows what leaguer is allergic to what too. Lad keeps the watchtower STOCKED

The League never fails to wish a member a happy birthday. Somehow word always gets out and no one really knows how the date gets around. It's Bruce. He knows everyone's birthdays. Sometimes photogenic memory doesn't work in his favour. When it comes to respect, compassion and love - Bruce isn't the verbal type. He prefers to show it through action - I mean he crusades around Gotham to show his need to protect people for God's sake. Therefore, he sets like a reminder anonymously on the watchtower monitor for some random hero to find.

My guy HATES Asmr.

Bruce's hair is naturally thick and actually pretty darn curly. Superman is renowned for having the curls, but Bruce - with dirty, grown out hair - can give him a run for his money. His curls never show though as he keeps his hair very short and often has it sleeked back in public (as Thomas and Alfred always told him it was neater and more proper that way.)

He is a PERFECT mix between Thomas and Martha. Everyone who ever meets Brucie Wayne for the first time tells him he's the spitting image of both of them.

My man was a heartthrob in the 90s. Dick and Tim frequently Google "Bruce Wayne 90s" and bust a gut laughing at how their old man is like in every fuckin teenage magazine published in that decade.

[sirfrogsworth]

I love taking panorama shots. But most social media platforms suck at displaying them. A lot of places don't even let you upload the original size so they get shrunk down to nothing.

But I took this 110 megapixel pano and it is crazy the things you can see when you zoom in.

There are these cool river barges with giant cranes.

There is this weird building just out in the middle of the river.

Apparently that is for "water intake" though I am not sure what that means beyond it takes in water.

You can see traffic on the new bridge way off in the distance.

There is some person fishing in 45 degree weather.

There is a mysterious compound with giant buildings just under the sunset.

These folks made a little fire.

And this person is either pointing a gun in the air or just their finger. I would have needed 210 megapixels to figure that out.

All of that is in the photo and I wanted people to be able to zoom in and search around and look for this stuff. After some searching I found this website called Gigapan. I'm pretty sure it uses Google Earth technology so people can upload giant panoramic images and easily zoom and pan and search the images for cool stuff.

I uploaded the full file here.

The site is a little on the elderly side and does not work great with mobile devices. However, if you turn your phone sideways and hit the little expand arrows on the image, it is much easier to look around.

The trick is you can't pinch and zoom to hit the little arrows or else you will stay zoomed in that much when it expands.

In any case, let me know if you can find all 7 things! There are also critter footprints and some profanity that I didn't show, so feel free to look for that as well.

[belle--ofthebrawl]

I am so invested in your posts about Mountain and his pack of moms.

Does Mountain turn into a big kit whenever he visits them? Like a college kid who goes back home to his family during holidays.

- @ghouletteanon

(I did exactly two Google searches and these are the names for the previous drummers I found. I went with Terra over Gamma for obvious elemental reasons. I think there's three total? My inbox and DMs are open to any and all earth ghoul stans who know more than I do.)

Nothing terrible under the cut except the horror of knowing your parental figures have sex.

He knows Pebble's aware as soon as he sets foot into the deeper woods. The trees and mycelium networks are her eyes and ears, leaves rustling with wind-carried words to wherever she is. Not a single twig in this forest snaps without her knowing about it, which would give anyone else an incredible headache but Pebble seems to like it just fine.

And sure enough, he doesn't get but a yard or so before she appears. Sitting on an ancient log like she's been there the whole time waiting for him to pass by, even though he knew he'd been alone just moments ago.

She's all criss-crossed up from her arms to her legs, still as a statue as she watches him approach with his picnic basket. He doesn't say anything; he knows this routine well enough by now. Pebble can get odd, when left to her own devices for too long. The others are usually good at bringing her back to herself though.

Food helps too. Not the food she can scavenge from the forest like berries and mushrooms and prey animals eaten raw. Food that's been altered, baked, cooked. He lifts the cloth of the picnic basket and lets the warm smell of fresh bread waft out. Her nostrils flair and she stands up, quick as a wink. With one quick nod, she's off; darting through the undergrowth like a fox. It's on him to keep up, but he knows she'll come back for him if he lays behind too far. She'll get impatient but she'll always come back.

The path is different every time he visits. Some trick of Terra's to keep strangers out if they aren't guided in but he doesn't mind. He knows how much they value privacy and the time it takes to get to the destination is never too long. The undergrowth thins out, the trees grow further and further apart until they're in Ivy's garden with Ivy herself bending over to tug up a bundle of root vegetables. Pebble licks her fingertips as she walks over, delivering a loud and resounding smack to Ivy's rear end that Mountain glances away to avoid seeing barely in the nick of time.

"Pebble!" Ivy shouts, shooting up straight and cuffing the small menace in return. "Just once, a hello would be nice to hear instead of-"

"Hello." Mountain calls, walking between the rows to her with a wave. She turns around again and her happiness is so infectious that nearby plants immediately start flowering in response. Pebble takes the opportunity to dart into the little home that's been carved into the earth, set into the base of gentle slope covered in soft green grass.

"Mountain!" She cries, dropping her harvest into the dirt and leaping over the plants to catch him up in a bear hug. "Oh, I was just thinking about you! Terra was saying you were all back from tour, so of course we've been expecting you but honestly not so soon and-"

"Let that boy breathe." Comes a deeper voice from the doorway of the little home. Mountain straightens up automatically, brushing a few fly aways out of her face as Terra easily lopes over with her cane. She stops a few feet away, looks over him with a critical eye and he's acutely aware of every wrinkle and stain in his clothes, the way his right boot's come untied and how the flannel he has on now was definitely hers once upon a time.

"Suppose we'll have to take you as you are then." Terra says, a telling twinkle in her eye though her face remains firm. "What'd you bring us this time?"

"Harvest bread." He says, finally handing over the picnic basket. "Gooseberry and raspberry jam. Two kinds of cheese. Wine and whiskey and weed."

"Good stuff." Ivy says in approval.

"We'll see." Terra says. Then, "Pebble, don't you dare."

Pebble slinks out from behind Terra, hands raised in innocence even as her tail whips back. It's caught just in time by Terra's own tail, wrangled into submission as Mountain pretends to be thoroughly engrossed by his feet. He's not a prude, far from it but it just feels awkward to watch the ones who helped him with his first moments Topside be...like that.

"Welcome back." Terra says fondly after Pebble yanks her tail away and stomps off to set the table. Ivy picks up her vegetables again and goes to put her gardening tools away. "Tell us where you've been this whole time."

"All over." Mountain begins. And, like he always does, hits his head on the doorframe on the way in.

Some things never change.

[storm-angel989]

Could you do a Valentino's daughter where shes addicted to drugs but it's simply stuff like cocaine or meth or painkillers and instead you don't have to do this part Velvettes son(idc about the name) finds out when he was looking for her and he found it in her room?

Hi Friend,

I’m so sorry- this is one that has been on my google list for awhile now. I lost my best friend to addiction, so this one sort of hit home. It took me awhile to sort through my own feelings about it and write from Valentino's point of view. Enjoy- and big hugs to anyone going through or handling the struggle.

<3 Mandy

At its core, addiction is a disease. 

Valentino knew that. Hell, in his role as an overlord, he preyed on it. Getting sinners on earth and in hell, and hellborne trapped in the vicious cycle of highs and lows was how he gained his power. Not once did he think twice about the consequences for these souls. Quite honestly, he didn’t care.

Not until he watched his daughter start to succumb.  

She was seventeen when he first saw the change. A shift from straight A student to D’s almost overnight. Text messages and phone calls from the school. A defensive stance when asked about her day. Dragging her to a therapist's office was his last shot. Taking the opportunity that presented to him,  now he stood in the mess she called her bedroom next to Vox and Velvette. 

“I don’t like digging through her stuff,” Valentino said out loud. “I mean, I would hate it if…”

“You’ve earned the right to privacy, right now she hasn’t. Something is going on here, and I’m sure we’ll find the answer in here,” Vox replied. 

“Just try to be neat about it. It might look like a disaster to us, but I’m sure she knows where everything is,” Velvette added. 

She and Vox exchanged looks. They suspected as much- the signs were there. Signs Valentino and his wife refused to see. Carefully, methodically, they searched out every place Vox and Velvette could think of that might hide the source of her sudden personality change. 

“I’m telling you, there is nothing here, I’m sure she’s just stressed out,” Valentino said aloud. 

Vox spotted it out of the corner of his eye. In one quick motion, he yanked the book from the shelf and opened the cover. 

“Oldest trick in the book,” he said out loud as he showed Valentino and Velvette the hallowed out tome. “I think I found an answer.”

The expression on Valentino’s face melted from annoyance to disbelief. He snatched the book from Vox’s hand and lifted up a baggie of blue tinged white powder.

“Fucking, fuck fuck fuck,” he cursed as he opened the baggie. “Fucking coke? My daughter? No, this has to be a mistake. She knows better, she’s probably selling it, she…she probably needs a bigger allowance! Maybe she…”

“Val, isn’t that color an indicator that it's from your stash?” Velvette interrupted gently. “You’re the only one who dyes drugs so you know exactly who sold what.” 

Valentino’s face turned a deeper red. From his back, his wings sprung forth as his teeth sharpened, transforming into red points.

“I think we can solve this whole question simply,” Vox added. “We’ll pick her up from the therapist's office and have her drug tested. That will tell us if she’s taking or selling. You go question your employees assigned that color. Bring a picture, ask if they’ve sold it to anyone who looks like her.” 

“If her drug test comes back positive, take her to an addiction center. I will not have my daughter fall victim to…” the rest of Valentino’s sentence cut off as he stormed out of the room. 

Down in his studio, seven sinners, a photo of his daughter. A confirmation of sale. 

“Yeah, that bitch will be another on your payroll soon enough!” One sinner gloated. 

The flash of his gun. Six bullets. Six bodies.

To the remaining sinner, he handed a photo of his daughter.

“You spread the word. Anyone in my circle or outside of it, sells to this hellborne, they’ll meet the same fate,” he ordered. “Now go.” 

Valentino watched as he scampered off down the hall. Turning away from the mess, he heard the sounds of footsteps as the cleaning crew stepped forward. 

“No. Leave them. Just in case anyone needs to be reminded,” Valentino said as he stepped into the elevator. 

He looked down at his phone and his heart sank at Vox’s text. Anger boiled up and he slammed his phone into the wall, watching as the shattered pieces hit the ground. 

“Fuck,” he hollored into the empty room. “Fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck!” 

His mind raced as he stomped out of the elevator and into the penthouse. Back in his daughter's room, the idea of privacy vanished as he ripped apart her room. 

She knew better, she knew better! Or did she? Was he…

Valentino sank onto her bed and he surveyed the torn apart space. What if…what if this entire thing was his fault? With a sigh, he stood up and strode across the room. Housekeeping would put it back together, with no place to hide. She wouldn’t be an addict long. He would make sure of it.

[the-empress-7]

“His running theory is: new android phones have AI editing tool, that with a touch, sort of merges multiple shots into "best shot" and fix small touch ups automatically. And it also offers you the option without you even choosing as "here look at what i did".

I think it’s the new Google pixel. The advert is running on UKTV. It literally advertises how you can pick the best headshot out of a group from multiple images.

MANY people have mentioned this in the comment section on the Telegraph.

I rather think The Prince and Princess of Wales missed a trick today. Catherine should not have apologised, instead I think William should have joked about having done exactly this with his phone.

I have an i-phone and it has photo burst feature. One picture with many frames, and you pick the one you want, cause many of the frames end up with a blurring effect in different spots.

I am more than okay with Catherine apologizing. She used her voice. It was her prerogative.

The world needed a reminder that she is not a mute, and she certainly is not a coward who'd collapse to a floor in fit of tears over a controversy.

Catherine is made of the strongest stuff on earth.

[imdoingsortagay]

request for valentines day celebration!! prompt 4, 6 and 12 with emo!wanda x reader. where wanda is trying to hint (kinda new avenger) reader that she’s likes them 🤭🤭 fluffy emo!wanda is my fave

The secret admirer

warnings: fluff , mention of some avengers, stucky ( being gay for a bit)

a/n: mwah enjoy <3

“ Looks like someone got some new things from their secret admirer,” Natasha says as she walks into the kitchen, met with the view of some of the prettiest bouquets of flowers accompanies by a fresh plate of french toast. 

“ Roses are red, violets are blue, I know I can't rhyme, but I want to date you,” you read aloud to her, smiling a bit at the cheesy pickup line the person left for you. 

In the past couple of weeks, someone in the compound had been leaving things for you, planning it when you least expect it and you haven’t been able to figure it out. 

“ There are flowers in the front of your door y/n” 

“Who from?” you ask her, reading some papers from a meeting.

“I think that you have a secret admirer.” Natasha taunts as she brings the flowers to your room, confused as to why someone would leave flowers. Being past widows, neither of you were even aware that people did this but you took the flowers in your room for a pop of color.

“ Are you sure that you didn’t send these Natty? I promise to let you down easy if you do” you jokingly tell her.

“ Oh sweet y/n,” Natasha starts off,” I think we’ve established that the only chance that I’d consider to date you is if you were the only other person on earth”. 

“ Ouch Romanoff, my heart,” you dramatically say. Both of you had been good friends, meeting each other in the red room, escaping together, and now in a team together protecting the planet from any sort of threats. All this time together meant that you only saw her as a best friend which both of you were fine with as Natasha had her eyes set on a certain agent at shield.

“ You are you dumb y/n-” 

“ Calling me dumb Natty? Says the one who-” 

“ Hello to both of you,” Wanda says as she walks into the kitchen, looking at the bouquet of flowers on the counter while she witnesses both of her teammates bicker like children. 

The younger brunette tries her best to hide her smile as you observe the flowers. 

What you didn’t know was that Wanda had been the one who was leaving you all of these messages, too shy to admit the feelings that she had for you with a fear of being rejected. A quick google search leads to her leaving presents in your room, and kitchen but you seem to struggle that it’s her. Wanda even left a bit of clue that might help but even those don’t seem to help.

“ So who got the cute flowers?” Wanda curiously asks, looking at the amazing job the florist did with choosing flowers related to love. The roses and tulips bring life to the boring kitchen. 

Natasha out of boredom decides the moment to be quiet to look at the conversation between you too. In her own little investigation, everyone on the team besides Wanda and Sam were the two people left as to who the fuck was sending you all of these things. She assumed at first, Tony would do something like this because he has money to spend for days and he denied it. Bruce only saw you as a friend, Clint has a whole family with kids that he’s very happy to deal with, and Bucky has something going on with Steve that she’ll have to investigate another time while sweet Thot’s heart seemed to belong to Jane foster. 

Wanda seemed to forget that Natasha was in the kitchen with you too as she giggles at the little jokes you throw into the conversation, failing badly at trying to hide the crush but can you blame her if she doesn’t have any sort of experience with it? 

“ y/n you are too funny,” Wanda says placing her hand on your shoulder, wondering if the article on dating is doing the trick to woo you,” always making me laugh”. All Natasha can do is cringe, feeling bad for the younger redhead with her very terrible attempt at flirting. A couple more attempts at flirting, some jokes made by Wanda, and more awkwardness before you leave the kitchen to make your way to train with Clint. Wanda was about to leave as well to try to get the next set of items ready when she was stopped by her teammates who was smiling like crazy, holding in her laughter.

Now all the cheesy sticky notes left for you make sense now.

“ Natasha,” she starts off. 

“ Witchy that was some of the worst flirting I’ve ever seen-” Natasha says before laughing.

“ It’s not that bad Nat, have you seen whatever the fuck Bucky and Steve have been doing?” She asks, a little embarrassed that even the black widow knows about her crush on you. 

“ I did not expect you out of all people to send my y/n those gifts, the only thing that confirmed it was the flirting. Also those pickup lines are so cheesy where did you even get them?”. 

“ not the point,” Wanda tells her before trying to look in the fridge for food but the mighty black widow stops her. Though Wanda can use her powers to just move her, it’s too early to be doing that and she’d have to be lectured by Stark about the use of her powers to mess with people. 

“ It’s been a couple of weeks now Wanda, so when do you plan on telling y/n about your feelings before I don’t know, they just get tired of all the gifts?” Natasha asks the younger woman. They might not be as close but she would hate to see the young woman heartbroken after all of the things that she’s experienced in life so far. At that moment she decided it would be a good idea to help her out with stuff like this.

“ Would you help me out, Natasha? I know that we aren’t close but you know y/n better than anyone and I just want to make this as perfect as possible, like I know that it’s alot to ask so take all of the -” 

“ I’ll help you out witchy with your crush and reveal,” Natasha says which elicited a smile from Wanda. Using what she learned from Sam and Bucky, Wanda holds out her hand to give the older woman in front of her a fist bump instead of a hug but she is relieved when Natasha fistbumps her. 

“ One more week and I’ll make sure y/n will know about your crush,” Natasha ensure her teammate before they head to her room to make up a plan. 

After two hours of romantic plans, Clint joined in and with so many questions that Wanda asked, the plan was finally formed and Wanda could not wait for it to happen.

A week full of busy meetings, training with the senior avengers, Wanda catching Steve and Bucky going at it in the supply closet on accident ( poor girlie ) leads to the both of you spending the weekend at one of Tony’s many cabins near the compound.

As much as Wanda wanted to tell you about her feelings at the compound, she wanted to make sure that it wouldn’t be interrupted by anyone coming in or their pets.

“ So tony just let us borrow it for the weekend?” You ask while you drive together to the cabin.

While you are confused, you are are very happy to take a break from your Avengers stuff, always happy to spend time with the brunette woman. Being earth’s mightiest hero’s left for no free time but when there was some, you’d always take it to spend time with Wanda.

“ something about needing us to bond more since we’re the only two who haven’t spend time alone,” Wanda lies to you , while everyone in the team very much is aware your super close to each other.

“ weird ,” you comment as you pull up into the drive way, always amazed at the size of these cabins and question why the man always needs to go big. Wanda gets her stuff and quickly heads in first before you do, happy to be greeted with a array of desserts, all of them your favorite ones and one last note with a quote that you had said to Wanda when you first met.

“ Wanda maximoff,” she tells herself, “ you are a very pretty girl, you got this, pietro would tell you that you got this.”

You walk into the cabin a couple of minutes after to see Wanda standing in the kitchen next to an array of desserts, getting hungry at the sight of them.

“ WANDA HOW DID YOU DO ALL THIS ?” You say in an excited tone.

“ I wanted to talk about the admirer of yours actually,” she starts off while you sit down at the table along with her.

“ oh that ? Yeah I don’t think it’s Natasha but she’s been spending a lot of time with you , why ?” You casually ask her.

“ well it’s because -“

“ cause she’s only done this once with Bruce and while I know you wouldn’t hurt a single fly, I will throw you out side of a window if you-

“ i dont like Natasha , i like you" she interrupts your ramble before there’s silence between the two of you, the young woman in front of you mad that she didn’t get to do her plan.

“ me ?”

“ you’re so hot your hurting my feeling that I can’t deal, “ she says to you , while you chuckle at the choice of lyrics she uses. Wanda decides to take this opportunity to go towards you , life you of out of your chair to kiss you.

Not the way that she would of imagined it but it’s a memory she’ll cherish forever

[sol-consort]

Repost of an ask I accidentally deleted.

Pov: You're a turian discovering this new sapient species broadcasting their whole location to the galaxy very loudly and decide to go down to investigate the humans.

Humans are like a rubber ball, which is what the first contact war proved. The harder you throw them, the harder they bounce back, and the next thing you know, all of your loyal turian population are sending creepy fanmail letters to the cute human news reporters.

The fact that we express joy by showing our teeth probably is something that never sat well with the turians ever, huh?

Also POV: you're the Councillors meeting the human team sent to you trying to convince you on why they should have an embassy right next door and please let them in the citidal please please please please please please-

We Don't bite .Often. We are silly little guys let us in come on. We have been STARVED for any galactic connections. Please we were this close to blowing each other up with nuclear weapons.

Ignore that last bit. Hahaha. Ha. So let us in! Friends! We are friends, let's be friends now. Tell us how you guys reproduce and what you eat. We have cats! We have chocolate, and we have produced more porn than a single human can consume in their lifetime! We have everything you need so let us join the partyyyy.

We've brought beer :) You don't have that, right? Let us in, and we will give you all the food we've made.

Humans annoying their way into getting an embassy so soon is very hilarious.

Because you know damn well that our politicians played the first contact war card and guilt tripped the council into letting us sit on the big kids' table after the turian bullied us to hell and back. We brought the waterworks and pretended they really hurt our feelings just to get the shiny human embassy office.

It didn't matter that they threw us in some random office next to the elcor and the embassies food court. You know damn well none of the humans stayed on the office and they're constantly annoying their neighbour embassies or the citidal tower instead.

Hell, we even stooped so low to accept being called the council's new favourite pet race just so we can get all the benefits and jumpstart our integration into the galaxy.

Constantly asking questions. Constantly touching things. Constantly asking to eat this and drink that without regards to if it will kill us or not.

That's how they found out humans had the most diverse genetics btw, before they could get any tests done on the humans with viable results, they found the said humans eating everything they come across and updating a google docs sheet of things they tried that haven't killed them yet.

The doc is shared between all the humans on the Citidal, and everyone adds their updates. Some even tried inedible stuff just to see, because what if space plastic is different than our plastic? Sure, they ended up in emergency care, but it was so worth it.

The humans are very impatient, and the other races quickly learned. They want something done, and they want to do it now, and they want to get the gratification immediately! They make the salarians look like monks despite their short life spans

In the span of a year, earth humans were sending in job applications to different colonies and planets, ones they haven't even visited yet.

By the span of 5 years, humans successfully spread through the galaxy and you always find one nearby. It's harder not to spot a human than it is to spot them.

How do you find out if the person wearing this armour is an asari or a human? Simple, just wait.

The human will announce it themselves by doing some dumb shit like twirling the loaded gun in their hand to do a really sick trick they saw on the human social media app, tiktok.

Udina was a little shit, yes, but you know that man was knocking on the councillors' doors every day at 3am. to show them his powerpoint presentation on why humans deserve a seat on the council.

Humans fit wherever you put them. They eat everything, they can handle most temperatures. they only need oxygen and some sleep, and they're good to go!

It's hard for the aliens to predict just what type of human any given one of us they meet could be.

There's just too many to keep track of. The most rude person and the nicest person a turian have met are both humans.

They want to see the stars, they want to take pictures, they want to stare at pretty sunsets on different planets and they want to speak to aliens, hug them and learn more about them

They're burning bright like a star, wanting so much all the time. It's intimidating to the other races how hungry humans are for information and connection that they come across as a bully. Their friendly nature gets misunderstood and their kind gestures gets questioned for ulterior motives.

Because humans love helping, it's in our genetic code as a tribal species. We love feeling useful for the tribe and fulfilling others needs. We love giving someone a sip of our drink, opening the door for someone else, picking up a stray empty can and throwing it in the trash.

Going on useful fetch missions just to see someone else smile, hearing a stranger vent because we have been there, smiling at people we make eye contact with, giving compliments and laughing at jokes we overheard from strangers.

We are social, be it online or offline. We love others, we love loving others and we want others to love us back. Each human is so different yet so similar, some of us will feel more at home with the aliens than with other humans while others might not even stomach leaving earth

We are also...kinda of feral in a way? We don't notice it because we're surrounded by humans.

But if you look closely, so many of our traits are animalistic and could be perceived as scary by an alien that had thousands of years to evolve past them. Our hardware is still relatively new, and an update won't come for a long time.

The hugging. the yelling, the dancing, playing tag. games of chase. We evolved from predetors, our eyes are trained to follow a single target precisely.

Rough playing with your friends, enjoying throwing objects and catching it like a ball, enjoying tearing through food with our teeth. Hell we look like predators, we act like ones too.

We're not like worker bees, like turians who always give their all to everything they do.

No, we preserve energy, then lunge at our target the second it's gaurd falls down. A persistent predator that wears you down rather than overpowering you like a krogan

Btw, Korgans evolved from prey because of where their eyes are placed. Only predetors have forward facing eyes to focus on a single thing, the wider one's vision is the more likely they used to be a prey animal.

Side note, but Krogans would probably taste kinda good bc of that, predators' meat evolves to be shrivled and bitter. While Krogans have a literal hump full of food nutrition! Turians would taste bad unless chicken in that case... CHICKEN.

So do you think Hanar and Drell find it adorable that we used to be aquatic?

Anyway so-

In a single decade, humanity successfully integrated fully into the galaxy and joined the Andromeda project to explore the new one. We're like the opposite of hanar. So many other races achieved less than half of what we did in ten times the amount of years

Because we need social contact, it's vital for our survival as much as the sun is. It's our drive for exploring and hoping for aliens, for some other race out there we could befriend and learn about.

New things give us such a rush of dopamine and we're constantly chasing it with stars in our eyes.

In a way, the aliens probably felt the most special after meeting the humans. To have a race so interested in you and learning about you and appreciating your culture. To have thousands if not millions of humans ready to dedicate their lives to documenting you just because you happened to be the prettiest race in their eyes.

Like I'd gladly throw my life away to study the Drell.

And we things other races don't! We party harder funny enough.

A turian mentions it in ME2. How most alcoholic beverages everyone uses today, was invented by humans. How it seems like humans found out every intoxication there is and let it spread like wildfire to others. Out endless libraries of music, the videogames we've made, the art, the instruments we play.

And a Salarian mentions how human food is their favourite. Don't the Hanar also like our sushi? funny enough.

We're infectious. Easily accept anyone and everyone into our groups if we happened to click with them, we even befriended the animals on our planets enough to care for them like our own children.

[vampireghostlawyer]

extremely niche and superficial pet peeve but i cannot stand when other americans have to make a show out of being confused/shocked/whatever by ambrosia or watergate salad or snickers salad or anything of that kind.

"i've NEVER seen this in my life and im american" i do not believe that for one second. you've never been to a potluck?? you've never had a class party? you've never been to a block party? or an old folks home??? like. they're not even shocking ingredients. it's almost always just sweet things in a dairy and/or jelly?? like honestly people from outside the US being annoying about american food is one thing, but i get that they might not have seen it before. but AMERICANS acting like snickers salad or any other old lady potluck staple is so terrifying and earth shattering makes my blood boil like . WHY are you pretending. it's like the kids who would shriek and make retching sounds in middle school when someone said the word "moist." like this is all clearly a charade for attention. why are you doing it.

porbably the same americans who claim to not know what puppy chow is , even though it's available in every gas station across america.

does it bother anyone else that as of late, it's so much harder to find slushies in midwest gas stations. when i was a child every single place had them and they were light and fluffy and never too strong and now when you go to kwik trip or most locally owned stations, it's always that very hard, sloppy, and pungent kind.

see? they are different. on the left, your mouth will be cut by the blades and the juice too sour and on the right, it is like sucking on a cloud. this is not the only change they've made, sources say.

no logner do they carry arizona iced tea cans, it is always the bottles. the bottles are 1.99 while the cans .99 so this is possibly a marketing ploy or some sort of trick. it has become more difficult to buy the large jugs of arizona as well. in 2022, i would buy four or five at a time in some cases, and now i brew my own tea because the atargets have made it increasingly difficult to find these tea. '

but this is not the most egregious of their offenses. the most of all is that the suare microwave yakisoba is nowehere to be found. when you go to the store, the options you are greeted with, the ramen that waves and smiles at you so sinisterly is only the cup. the cup canot be microwaved !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what use to me is an easy meal that requires a pote on the stope. it means nothing to me.

the suare yakisoba was microwavelle . simply remove the flavor packets and wrapping and microwave for four minutes with water. i did this every day for years. now, it is gone. gone from my sight and my grasp but never my memory.

i've googled a plethora of times trying to decipher when and if this is a choice, if they were discontinued but it seems this is just the plight of my circumstances because i have no information. just now

just now i've learned they are actually available on amazon.

[karagrace]

Hey beautiful people!

I have a google classroom that’s been up for a while now! It’s an online platform for all kinds of witchy knowledge, a place to share your spells, progress, your own information, helpful tips and tricks and I post heaps of content myself coming straight from books I own about things like

Earth magic, auras, chakras, crystals, tarot, herbal magic, love magic, goddess magic, green witch magic, astrology, house magic and so much more :)

So far we’re at just above 70 members and are welcoming so much more!

If you’d like to join the code is xi5fxwe

I hope to see you there 🫶🏻

[dotthings]

They just flipped over a great big card. So many things to talk about in ep 1.08 but I'm going to start at the ending of the episode.

Oh look, the man who gave John the letter at the bus depot is Dean. A bunch of us kinda figured. It could have been Cas, it could have been meddling cupids, but Dean was the strongest possibility, and we had that hint from Jensen in a TV Guide a while back about Dean wanting to do something to make things better for his family and that time travel was involved.

TW isn't an alternate earth. But there are timey wimey time travel hijinks and, I think, an alt timeline that isn't actually an alt because this is how it always happened, as far as spn prime canon is concerned.

There are EP statements that they didn't alter anything about spn prime, right? Nothing that will make people fade from photographs.

Dean's journey, the story he's telling, is still the "true" history and Dean is uncovering the truth, the past. Filling in blanks that were left out by omission, the tricks trauma can play on memory or the selective editing or idealizations John did when he told his children the family stories, about Mary, and about how stories get passed down and details changed or left out. There were whole parts of John and Mary's life we, the audience, didn't learn about during spn prime and Sam and Dean didn't know either.

This is how it happened because this is how it already happened, this is the real story of John and Mary that resulted in the spn prime canon events, but it's broken time, because someone messed with the timeline and that someone would be Dean.

Here's Doctor Who to explain the bootstrap paradox.

"Google it."

Also the grandfather paradox and causal loops.

Quantum Leap fans, think about Sam Beckett's string theory which he came up with from watching Captain Galaxy as a kid, and then it turns out time traveling Sam told the theory to the star of Captain Galaxy in the first place, who put it in the show, which was watched by child Sam, who then used that as the basis for his theory.

It happened that way because of the time travel of the protagonist, but now it always happened that way because it already happened even though it didn't happen yet.

Dean broke the timeline. Yes, after his death. Maybe had some help from a certain angel. (Where's Dean, where's that road? It's not Heaven, not yet, but it's not Earth either).

Here's a possibility: the resultant spn prime events is the better version.

How about this possibility: the version where Dean didn't break the timeline is even worse. Not Dean meddled with time so now it's an alt timeline that winds up happier for everyone. What if the og timeline was even more tragic and on top of which, the earth is laid waste.

John always knew about hunting earlier than the family stories told it.

John and Mary had a whole circle of hunter friends who became their family, and that story didn't get told.

There was more to John and Mary than we, the audience, knew from the bits and pieces of their story revealed on spn prime.

Dean's uncovering the whole story. Uncovering the past. Which resulted from his time traveling actions.

Learning more about John, Mary, and the grandparents, and discovering Carlos and Lata and Ada too.

"It's you, Dean. It's always been you. Death-defying, rule-breaking."

It's always been Dean. It always happened that way because Dean will time travel. It's in the past. But the future will bring it about.

Where's Dean, what's really going on. It's not just time travel. How does he time travel and where's the road he's on.

[r26yz]

Rambles incoming :D

idk, i just... I FREAKING LOVE the dazaku writers in pixiv and lofter. I am not fluent in japanese or chinese, heck im not even fluent in english, i read them using google translate (i want to thank google for dazai obama) and its wonky af but THE FEELS!? It hurt, it grabbed me in the lungs and heart. The translation is off but damn the emotions are conveyed perfectly.

And... hm.. i noticed that, how hopeful they are about dazaku relationship? Yeah, they are not good-ish, kinda, sorta abusive. But like, there's hope? You understand? By no means there are lot of writers that don't hesitate to dunk on dazai for what he did to akutagawa. But the things, there's still something.

Im thinking how to say this.

Akutagawa's hate.

Dazai's taunts.

Akutagawa's want for approval.

Dazai withholding that approval.

If dazai don't like akutagawa that much, shouldn't he just gave him that approval and be done with? I know he already acknowledge him way before. He even gush on him to odasaku. akutagawa would probably wont bother him again. But then he doubled down on him, Atsushi is better than you ;). Why taunt him with Atsushi? Atsushi is his coworker, not a student specificaly (something that a lot of writers emphasize, very neat).

Why dazai? do you need him to go crazy for you :D bahahaha loser. Is it because akutagawa the first thing you own that is actually yours? yours that you got to choose yourself? you freaking gave him a mating offer by killing his friends' murders. you idiot. you sad man. what a sad little man. do you want akutagawa to kill you someday so its still considerd suicide by your own hand/creation? you sad sad wet man? you really think that he'd hate you enought to kill you? really? you, the man who gave the akutagawa sibling a home and warm meal? really? hmm? hmm?

see, that's why... call it shallow, but i don't think akutagawa could ever really hate dazai? ish? kinda? the man did save him, even though then he got thrown to another kind of hell on earth. He gave him home, meal, and hope. The meaning of life. Hahahah indeed he's like a dog. that makes dazai that type of dog owners who made a shitty job at taking care of their puppies. the kind that was excited first and (sorta, kinda, idk) neglect/abuse them when they don't do their tricks properly.

i only know games bcs i watch rtgame's youtube, and when he played "Slay the Princess" and then proceed to search about them on tumblr, yeah. "The opposite of love is not hate, but indiference" and yeah, i believe that it also true to dazaku. because in a way, they are in this two person tango of chasing, taunting, i need you to be my eyes, you've become stronger, can you give me the meaning of life. Hate is really visible and the love is so between the lines. But they are not really indifferent to each other.

The love is there! the love is there. yeah, the love is there.

also.

i'm not sure how i came into this conclusion but, "akutagawa doesn't need dazai, but dazai need akutagwa" and yeah, maybe their bsd counterpart is reversed from their real life, but the essential part is still there? Thats my delusion is. I just wanna said that in the end.

if you manage to reach this part. Uh, thank you for reading. Sorry for the typo. I hope its understandable. suffer with meeeee!

[whoiwanttoday]

Hey guys, we're posting some Rogue today because X-Men 97 is here, a show I don't think I care much about except here I am posting Rogue because at the end of the day I deeply care about the X-Men in a way you can only really care about things that were a formative part of your existence. The show is likely to not be for me, it will sort of annoy me because I have a pretty negative reaction to nostalgia and don't watch shows for children so whichever way it goes, a kids cartoon or Gen X nostalgia bait I am expecting to not love it but it is the X-Men so it will be a thing I will be aware of and hear about and on some level care about no matter what. In the 1960's and early 1970's all the horniest comic book fans read Legion of Superheroes, which sounds crazy to anyone who is currently googling Legion of Superheroes but it was basically written as a romance comic set in a sci-fi future with teenage superheroes so it encouraged legions of adoring, horny fans who wrote the earliest versions of fan fiction. Anyway, by the late 1970's that had shifted to the X-Men. The X-Men were where the horniest fandom was and that persisted for a long time. It was still true when I was a kid and no doubt that infected me. Among the many characters I had a crush on, Rogue was one and it helped that she was hot cause they're all hot but she was also the horny character through the 80's. I mean, she was a teenager who couldn't be touched and spent all her time wishing she could be touched and it wasn't that subtle. Horny was one of her main character traits. Anyway, we are posting 90's Rogue today and the attraction there that I had and many, many a fan had is maybe not great. I will forgive myself and others though because I was 13 and shy and still discovering things. We all make mistakes but we grow and improve. The X-Men has always been metaphorically strong and it never works as a one to one comparison, which is a good part of it's strength. It's no longer a metaphor then, it's an analogy and not only does it lose it's power, it loses it's power then. The strength is the flexibility, that a writer can write a story that is representative of a specific experience (or maybe different experiences, this is the joy of art) and the next writer can write about a different one. This is the joy of art. It is why so many teenagers are drawn to the comic, because for all it's civil rights metaphors, it's also just about a group of unaccepted outsiders who hit adolescences and suddenly the world feels hostile. Everyone feels like an unaccepted outsider at some point as a teenager and everyone feels like the world hates them at some point.

Among the X-Men, in the early days, Rogue was an outsider among outsiders. She wasn't liked or accepted and I think a lot of people connected with that feeling. Even among the freaks I am unloved. But then we get to the part where she couldn't be touched. She was desperate for it and it was common enough in fan fiction that I know it was not a unique thought for many a lonely teenager to essentially have the thought, "But if I could touch her. If I was the only one then she'd have to choose me". Not great and no one phrased it that way but it's a big part of why she was one of the most fantasized about X-Men. She's desperate, I have a chance. It's wild that a fictional character we still need to come up with reasons to disappoint ourselves. Psylocke wouldn't have given us the time of day but what options does Rogue have? It's awful but we were kid. She also was brash and loud and funny and heroic. She was compelling because she was the first to rush into battle often and throw a punch, often a big mistake because Rogue fans might not like me saying this, traditionally she is not as smart as she thinks she is. I am not calling her dumb but she strikes me as the type who thinks she's a genius when she thinks of some trick that everyone on Earth has thought of before. It's also why she's great. She's someone with a really big heart and a lot of empathy for others, she has to, she's had it hard and the option there is bitter villain or kind hero. She became a hero because of her innate goodness. And 90's Rogue was great. She was best friends with a very clearly closeted Iceman and offered him support against his bigoted parents. And there is the savage land bikini. Anyway, that's all why she is here, cause I love the X-Men and I adore her. When I assemble my brains version of the best X-Men teams, she's on 3 of my favorite teams. That's pretty good. Today I want to fuck Rogue.