#google earth tricks

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for correcting harmless misinformation?

I'm 20, my friends in this story are in their 30's-50's, genders irrelevant. Occasionally one of them will post something neat they saw on social media (facebook usually) and about half the time it'll be relatively harmlessly, but inaccurately, captioned. Examples include:

- that one picture of river outflow meeting the sea [captioned as "the line where the pacific and atlantic oceans meet"],

-some silly unsourced posts about X holiday being Secretly Wiccan Until The Christians Stole It (it wasn't. lot more complicated and nuanced than that!)

- very well done digital art of "rainbow galaxy visible from earth"

I don't want my friends to be tricked! They're all very smart people, just a little credulous sometimes when they're online (aren't we all?). I try to gently correct the information (ex. "this is actually art by [artist]!") and end it by giving a reason I'm still glad they brought it up (ex: "It's SO well done, though - absolutely gorgeous and really sparks my imagination!").

Thing is, none of the stuff they've posted is, like... particularly harmful misinfo so far? It's just people being Wrong, albeit sometimes intentionally, on the Internet. People are allowed to be Wrong on the internet.

Am I being a buzzkill for not just keeping my mouth shut? Am I letting my urge to be Correct overpower me? Should I just let people enjoy things? I'm scared I'm being rude to my friends, when all they want is to show the groupchat something cool they saw and thought we'd like! I'm not really sure what the social Rules are for something like this, and so I ask the jury:

Am I an asshole, folks?

(if mod's ok with it) please hit me in the comments with your favorite fake social media post. i really like the digitally altered red peacock footage

What are these acronyms?

Okay I was gonna leave mine in the tags--it's the blue watermelon photoshop that resurfaces every so often, claiming to be real and with some esoteric description about its flavor--but then I googled it to make sure I was remembering it right and found this absolute gem of an amazon listing:

Look at these extremely real and extant fruits that definitely aren't the same image over and over

[icarusflewsworld]

Rhysand & Cassian & Azriel X OC

Hello, here is the chapter 2 of a fanfiction on the world of Acotar where our three favorite Batboys are the mates of a single woman.

I hope you like it! Don't hesitate to let me know if you prefer the OC to become y/n and/or gender neutral.

Also, I apologize for any mistakes you might find, I'm just a French girl doing her best with Google Translate and her average score of 5 in English classe.

! Don't forget to read the previous chapters ! : Here

Happy reading!

Number of words : 2 079

Chapter 2 :

“It's our mate!” screamed Cassian. “Our mate.” 

He pointed vigorously back and forth with his finger his brothers in front of him. The traces of his footprints were so numerous that they had completely melted the thick layer of frosted snow that covered the ground of the remote spot where they had escaped from Tamlin before collapsing.

“Our soulmate,” he repeated, as he had been doing for the twenty minutes they'd been there. 

Cassian ran his hands through his hair, loosening a little bit more the bun that held half of it together. He was shaking and could barely breathe. He never panicked, never, but now he was panic-stricken. His body was literally vibrating with excitement, joy, anxiety, apprehension and fear. He had no idea how to react. His mate was there, just a few inches away. He never thought he would meet her. The rarity of this event was so high, yet he was certain: she was his soul mate. She was his and his brothers' mate. He didn't even know if it was possible, but he felt it. She belonged to them too. He had so many questions in his head that they drove him crazy, but in a way… it didn't matter, because he just met his mate. And she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. And he wasn't saying that because she was his mate, no, she was just divinely gorgeous. 

Rhysand was kneeling in the snow. Two small spots where the earth could be seen had formed under his lowered face, where the ice had melted from the warm, salty water dripping from his eyes. The big tears that spilled down his cheeks didn't even have time to freeze in the icy winter cold of the forest, as they were quickly replaced by others. He sobbed loudly, unable to stop. She was his soul mate. He'd waited so long for her. For so long he'd even come to believe he'd never meet her. But here she was. She was beautiful. Her voice. Her laugh. The moment he laid eyes on her, he knew he was ready to do anything for her. Anything. He will watch Velaris burn for her if that's what she wanted. He couldn't even begin to realize, to assimilate. After all he'd been through under the mountain, he finally seemed to breathe. He met his mate. 

Azriel was frozen. It wasn't the negative temperature of the cold wind around him that was causing his stupor, but the raging chaos exploding in his body. His heart was beating painfully, so hard it felt as if it could dig a hole through his chest. Every of his muscles was on fire, his eyes burned, his head ached and his breath caught in his throat. His eyes were still wide, but he couldn't even see the forest he'd landed in, his mind still focused on the face of this girl. His mate. His mind turned a hundred miles an hour. She was human. She was also the mate of his two brothers. It couldn't be. They had to be careful. It wasn't possible for this human to have three soul mates, and it certainly wasn't possible for anyone to have more than one mate. It wasn't possible that he would agree to share his soul mate. It wasn't possible that he deserved to meet his soul mate. Not after all the terrible things he'd done. Yet when he'd laid his eyes on her, his shadows hid behind his back, and his mind had lit up, impacted by her light. His world had turned colorful. The gray walls had turned white. The gilding on the banister was vivid and the pink of her cheeks was flamboyant. No spell could fool what he felt. 

“Maybe it's a trick,” Azriel finally said. 

Rhysand looked up tearfully at his spy master. 

“What?” asked Cassian, stopping in front of him.

“Think about it, Hybern controls the cauldron, so he may have created a fake link between her and us,” explained Azriel.

“A fake link?” repeated Rhysand in a weak voice. “Does that sound fake to you?” 

Azriel had to take a step back with a grimace. No, it didn't look fake to him. It seemed so obvious that he was almost ashamed to say it. 

“Why would he do that anyway?” shouted Cassian.   

“I don't know, maybe because she's human and fragile or to cause conflict between us or distract us from our goal? I don't know.”

Rhysand jumped to his feet, swearing as he angrily rubbed away his tears. It was a possibility, and if it was a ruse of that damned king, he would slowly rip his skin off. If what he felt for this woman wasn't true, he will never get over it. 

“But why her?” asked Cassian.

“I don't know,” Azriel repeated, as lost as his two brothers. “It sounds so insane. How can a human have three soul mates as powerful as us? It just doesn't make sense.”

Cassian's blood ran cold. He had to clench his fists to keep from jumping at his brother and making him take back what he just said. It bothered him more than anything that he was already denigrating a bond as strong as the one he felt so strongly in his gut uniting him to this woman. If he didn't want that bond, all he had to do was leave it to his two brothers and not ruin their moment. 

“Exactly!” shouted Cassian. “It makes so little sense that it can't be a trap.”

“And so what?” said Azriel in a false calm voice. “Assuming it's true, we're supposed to let her choose one of us? What about the other two?” 

Rhysand couldn't imagine either of his brothers being hurt, but he simply couldn't give up on his soul mate, whom he hadn't even seen for a minute. He was already ready to do anything for her, so he didn't care if he shared her with his brothers if, in the end, he was entitled to her too.

“If she really is the mate of the three of us, she won't be able to choose between us,” Rhysand assured with an empty glance. 

Azriel felt as if he were imploding. Even his breathing was shaking, so confused and angry was he. There was no way a man other than him was going to lay his hands on his mate, and that's why it was impossible for this woman to be the mate of the three of them. If that was the case, then this was the Cauldron's most cruel way of punishing him.

“So we're supposed to share the woman we love for the rest of our lives?” spat Azriel, breathing rapidly.

Cassian froze. He never considered such a possibility. They'd shared women in bed with his brothers in the past, but never only one, and it had nothing to do with emotional sharing, especially not one as strong as the one that united soul mates. It wasn't just about body sharing, it was about sharing the love of his life with his brothers. That said, he wanted her. Cassian wanted her no matter what it means to get her, including letting her love her brothers too.

“Yes,” he nodded.

“Yes,” followed Rhysand.

“In any fucking way!” shouted Azriel, burning with jealousy.

He was boiling with rage, all his muscles tensed and his eyebrows so furrowed they were giving him a headache. He wanted to pounce on the other two and rip their hands off. It was simply impossible for him that another man touch or love his mate. 

“Look at you,” Cassian said, “you’re already dying of jealousy. It’s impossible to trap you that much and to form such a strong fake bond. Even Hybern with the cauldron on his side doesn’t have that power.”

“Anyway, if it’s real,” Rhysand said, “it’ll hurt her, if she doesn’t have all three of us.”

Azriel stepped back again so as not to hurt his brothers. He ran his hands through his hair, but quickly let them fall back so as not to pull his dark locks out. He knew Rhysand was right, but he simply couldn’t resign himself to it. He knew he should accept it for her sake, but it seemed so crazy. Illyrians were possessive and jealous, if there was one species that didn’t share their women it was them. It was in their genes, and here they were, having the same mate. It was crazy. 

But, deep down he knew that it wasn't wrong, that this bond was sincere, because the more he imagined his brothers and him happy alongside their mate, the less it bothered him. Yet, he just wanted her for himself.

A silence took place the time that everyone came to their senses to study the situation more calmly. But, the more time passed, the more it was the face of their soul mate that lingered in their heads. The more time passed, the more it seemed real. The more time passed, the more they wanted her.

“What if she really is our soul mate, Rhys?” Cassian said in a sad voice. “She’s human. She’s weak. Humans can die from a simple scratch or even if they catch a cold. We have targets on our backs all the time, especially you. You are the high lord of the night court, your mate will be hunted and in danger all the time. Our mate will be in danger all the time”.

Rhysand ran his hands over his face as he crouched down, no longer able to stand under the weight of his fear. Azriel groaned at the anguish that gripped his stomach. Cassian convulsed a shiver of panic. They hadn't even spoken to this woman yet, but they were already dying of fear that something would happen to her.

"We'll see, let's let things be, the priority right now is the book," Rhysand said.

He was Cassian and Azriel's lord, he had to keep his calm, he had to keep a cool head and clear ideas. They had to be able to count on Rhysand to calm them down and help them, he had to be impartial, but the only thing he could think about was that today, he just met the woman of his life. That today he finally reached the light.

Cassian nodded, not believing a word of it. The second he had laid eyes on his soulmate, he knew that she would now be the priority of his life. It didn't matter anymore, what happened to him or to the people around him, what mattered was that she was happy. The whole world could burn if that was what she wanted, he would be the one to set it on fire. He was ready to do anything for her. He would protect her, provide for all her needs, and make her happy. "Luxiana" was the only word that Azriel's shadows had been whispering since he had met her and he knew well that he could be fooled but not them. They were unattainable by any spell or curse. He knew well that this mating bond was true, yet he was so jealous that he wanted to consider that it wasn't. Not for him. No. This woman was his. He was sure of it. She was his. She was his mate, but part of him just hoped she wasn't his brothers'. She was already his, and the thought of another man touching his woman made him so angry that he could destroy everything for miles around if he didn't control himself.

"What if she has a boyfriend?" Cassian asked suddenly, his eyes widening, jealousy squeezing his chest.

Azriel let out a guttural growl so loud it made birds fly away from the trees around them.

"I'll tear his muscles out one by one before crushing his bones and feeding them to him, then cutting him into small pieces while avoiding the vital points so that he stays alive throughout the process," he said in a sinister voice, the shadows around him quivering with joy at the images that were emerging in his mind.

Rhysand laughed.

“I’m glad to see that I won’t have to worry about another man approaching our mate.”

A heavy silence fell. They met their soulmate.

“She’s human,” Rhys added. “She won’t feel the same way. We have to make her fall in love with us.”

[iknowher]

⠀⠀⠀⠀🍬ㅤ۫ ⠀𝓣rick or 𝓣reat 𝓓ick ࣪ ᚐ ִ

art by @ baobei_bu on tmblr.

🎃ㅤ♰ ㅤ˙ㅤsum. ㅤbored before a halloween party, you summon a demon for fun. to your surprise, incubus!gojo appears, offering you a tempting choice: "trick or dick?" 👻ㅤ♰ ㅤ˙ㅤcw.ㅤsmut (18+), squirting, semen.. reader is described female, mentions about demonic rituals 😈ㅤ♰ ㅤ˙ㅤwc.ㅤ1,1k 𓉸 𓈒ㅤmy* note: the person who drew the art is so goated fr

you looked at the clock.. still a couple hours to go till the halloween party officially began. you decided the best way to endorse your time was to do a dare, of course! you went on google: how to summon demons… you figured out that it was probably fake, but it wouldn’t hurt to try. first step was to kill a stranger?? yeah no. you still had a couple of red crayons from kindergarten, and you drew a baphomet symbol. safe to say it didn’t even look remotely to what you were supposed to draw. now you just need 4 candles! good thing you hoarded bath&body candles like no tomorrow. wow, you were finally done— and the aroma spread through the whole house! time for the actual incantation… te invoco a profundus inferni… no response.. wait— is there seriously an earthquake? the whole vicinity shook around you, you were sure the earth was gonna collapse at how hard it was shaking. good thing it only lasted a few seconds. it was a strange occurrence, sure, but something else was in front of you. did it actually work?! but it was no ordinary demon now that’d be boring. you noticed a man in front of you with a sly smirk. he had white, frosty hair and blue eyes. not to mention the slutty outfit he had on. a latex bodysuit with a heart cut-out, there were no sleeves— so you could see the absolutely toned arms. his horns were a gradient of purple to black and the tip of his tail was heart-shaped. actually, you both were kind of matching— you had the same outfit, but with fake horns and tail of course. you guys were giving couple goals! anywho, his eyes dropped from your boobs heart cut-out back to your face. ‘’what? you decided to dress up as me for halloween?’’ he teased you, ‘’i’m quite endeared.’’ you furrow your eyebrows, you just found the costume at a walmart. ‘’no? i didn’t even know you existed.’’ you couldn’t help but admit he was certainly attractive, and the bulge in his probably-too-tight bodysuit was a bit too noticeable… ‘’well, human, since you summoned me and awakened me from my eternal slumber..’’ he thought for a moment, placing one finger on his chin. ‘’trick or dick?’’ you were confused, what type of question was that? normally it was trick or treat. however.. you couldn’t help but consider that he didn’t look like an ordinary demon, he had a purple and pink color scheme— instead of the normal black and red. ‘’what are you?’’ you asked blatantly. ‘’oh.. mortals nowadays… i’m an incubus.’’ what did he just say? in-cum-us? you clenched your thighs together, rubbing against your core. ‘’omg.. are you stupid or stupid. i’m a sex demon, silly.’’ he slowly stepped up to you, ‘’so, answer me.. trick or dick?’’ you gulped, looking around.. it wouldn’t hurt to do it once, and you’d have to wait for that party anyways.. so, ‘’dick.’’

now, somehow, you’re here on the couch with him on top of you. you were stripped of all your clothes, besides your horns, since he said that it was ‘’cute’’. surprisingly enough, for a sex demon, he took things gentle in the beginning. but it wasn’t long before you pleaded him to go faster. ‘’faster.. ‘s too slow.’’ he rolled his eyes, ‘’foolish.. okay.’’ he picked up the pace by quite a lot, his thick and long shaft reached every area, as if your pussy was practically molded for him. he couldn’t help but also pay attention to your tits, fondling them. you couldn’t keep in your moans, your neighbors probably heard.. whatever, you whimpered.. ‘’i’m close..’’ his smirk turned into a grin. as he started rubbing your clit, it didn’t take long till you cummed. cum x1. oh.. how did we get here? you were on your knees, begging him to let you suck him off. he agreed hesitantly, but that’s ‘cause he didn’t wanna moan more than you. your tongue licked the sides, and he already let out the most sluttiest mewl ever. you finally began sucking him off, his hand coming on top of your head to pull on your hair. sure, it did hurt, but you kinda liked it..! the tip of his cock kept hitting the back of your throat, and let’s just say your gag reflex is absolutely ass. soon enough, he let out a mewl, putting his hand on the back of your head to make you go faster. he cummed in your mouth.. he offered you a tissue to spit it on, thank god because you didn’t wanna swallow up his seed.

cum x2.. and now he was sitting between your thighs, your legs spread out and all. he wondered how many fingers you could take. he put his index finger in your hole, quickly clenching around it. your pussy reacting to him, i mean— he was much better than you masturbating to cringe hentai, you got shivers remembering. he pulled out his finger to replace with his tongue, and it felt extraordinary, you weren’t good at having intercourse at all, he already figured it out. he swirled his tongue around your sensitive nub, it sending electric currents throughout your whole body. you kept letting out groaning, till the point he had to tell you to quiet down ‘’a little bit’’. the moment he put two fingers in and hitting your g-spot.. you knew you were doomed. he was bringing you immense pleasure, till the point that you.. cummed.. well, it felt a lot different.. it felt wetter. the wetness came onto most of his face, and he was shocked, for a moment. ‘’did you.. squirt?’’ before you could apologize, he let out a chuckle.

cum x3...?

well, the story goes like this… when an incubus makes a girl cum 3 times.. he can collect your soul, in old demon fashion. you didn’t even have time to react, you sold your soul for some good ol’ sex, and now god knows what happened to you. a few hours after the halloween party began, your friends knocked on your door, i mean, you had planned to meet up with them. knock.. knock.. knock. but alas, no answer— your body was an empty husk now. all for a little dare!

TRICK OR TREAT DICK?

♡ㅤ˒ㅤ666ㅤwork by @ iknowher ,, do not plagiarize! ..ᵗʰⁱˢ ʷᵃˢ ˢᵘᵖᵖᵒˢᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵉ ˢᵘᵏᵘⁿᵃ

[noneorother]

All the music you didn’t hear in Good Omens. (And I found a new P&P reference) *Part4*

Part 1  l  Part 2 l Part 3 l Part 4

The Bonkers Meta Series 2: Electric Boogaloo. It never ends.

So if you've been paying attention, you know that the number 2 is an incredibly important idea in season 2 of Good Omens. Well, I think it might be more than just the number two. I think it might actually be the concept of Double Meanings. Here's the first one I found.

When you google P&P Book you get : Pride & Prejudice, by our favourite Brandy smuggler: Jane Austen.

But when you google P&P Film, you get the life's work of ... Powell & Pressburger! Both prominent nods in the series that Neil and the gang seem pretty happy to talk about. This seemed like maybe it could be a coincidence to me, so I started looking up other nods in the series to see if my theory scans. Check this out :

P&P (1948) The Red Shoes Kate Bush (1993) P&P (1945) I know where I'm going Scottish traditional - Burl Ives (1941) P&P (1946) A matter of life & death / Stairway to Heaven Led Zepplin (1971) P&P (1949) The (Small) Back Room Van Morrison

P&P (1950)

Wild at Heart/Gone to Earth

David Sylvian

and here’s the P&P reference I think no one caught yet! Remember who Aziraphale learned the sleight of hand magic trick from in 1941? Prof Hoff.

P&P (1951) - musical The Tales of Hoffman Opera by Offenbach (1881) I linked everything so you can go listen or read about the the movies/music in question. However, be warned the opera is over two hours. Clearly I’m missing one, because I’m a series of six episodes there’s now way they put five references in, but I’m having a hard time finding it. If you know what it is, please let me know!

My point - my point here, is that I think rather than trying to find the “right” interpretation of the story of season 2 with confusing facts and confounding dialogue, these double entendres serve as a guide to show us how “both stories are going on at the same time” can be analyzed separately AND together, and that they live right on top of one another.

Want to hear my analysis of both the movie playlist and the music playlist? It’s on the way!

[mnemosyne-nyx]

✨ Bruce Wayne Headcanons that haunt me but I refuse to elaborate on even if they're utterly wrong Pt. 2✨

Going feral over this man

Hal and Bruce almost share a birthday and it fucking infuriates Bruce for no reason.

My guy was a rebellious teenager growing up, you know, trauma baby tings but also wanting to distance himself from the elite society (I mean rich Gotham really is a different cesspool of evilness lmao who can blame the poor guy.) Not to get deep but the beginning of his crusade was him wanting to seek a life and identity beyond the Wayne name right and witness Gotham from all angles. However, after realising he can both honour and build upon his legacy, Bruce destroyed any proof of this phase as he associates it with his turbulent and troubled coming of age. Little does he know there's a box filled with Polaroids within the 73288199 attics of Wayne Manor ready for his kids to find plus his detailed knowledge about the punk scene of Gotham makes them suspicious anyway.

Bruce learns a lot from his children. He may be their mentor but he's definitely learnt acrobatic tricks from Dick Grayson, combat and body language from Cass etc etc. Black Canary one day complimenting an acrobatic move of Bruce's only for him to have learnt it from one 11 year old Dick Grayson.

Bruce knows every nook and cranny of the watchtower. This guy designed, funded and helped build this fucking thing. Superman can hear him fuckin scurrying in the hundreds of boiler rooms, hidden corridors and storage rooms like a human rat. Flash doesn't understand how this man just teleports from one end of the tower to the other not knowing Bruce built trapdoors, hidden passageways, fake walls in this place. Bruce has a hiding spot in the upper levels of the watchtower where a small window gives view to Earth. J'onn is the only leaguer who can rival Batman in his watchtower knowledge.

He is the unofficial caretaker of the justice league. He makes sure all catering and quarters are fully equipped to people's needs. Overhears a leaguer saying there aren't enough vegetarian options? Bam, fully renewed menu. Barry complaining he can't sleep because his quarter is too cold? Bam, temperature risen. Small things like office supplies, medical equipment - he's always taking mental notes of. He knows what leaguer is allergic to what too. Lad keeps the watchtower STOCKED

The League never fails to wish a member a happy birthday. Somehow word always gets out and no one really knows how the date gets around. It's Bruce. He knows everyone's birthdays. Sometimes photogenic memory doesn't work in his favour. When it comes to respect, compassion and love - Bruce isn't the verbal type. He prefers to show it through action - I mean he crusades around Gotham to show his need to protect people for God's sake. Therefore, he sets like a reminder anonymously on the watchtower monitor for some random hero to find.

My guy HATES Asmr.

Bruce's hair is naturally thick and actually pretty darn curly. Superman is renowned for having the curls, but Bruce - with dirty, grown out hair - can give him a run for his money. His curls never show though as he keeps his hair very short and often has it sleeked back in public (as Thomas and Alfred always told him it was neater and more proper that way.)

He is a PERFECT mix between Thomas and Martha. Everyone who ever meets Brucie Wayne for the first time tells him he's the spitting image of both of them.

My man was a heartthrob in the 90s. Dick and Tim frequently Google "Bruce Wayne 90s" and bust a gut laughing at how their old man is like in every fuckin teenage magazine published in that decade.

[sirfrogsworth]

I love taking panorama shots. But most social media platforms suck at displaying them. A lot of places don't even let you upload the original size so they get shrunk down to nothing.

But I took this 110 megapixel pano and it is crazy the things you can see when you zoom in.

There are these cool river barges with giant cranes.

There is this weird building just out in the middle of the river.

Apparently that is for "water intake" though I am not sure what that means beyond it takes in water.

You can see traffic on the new bridge way off in the distance.

There is some person fishing in 45 degree weather.

There is a mysterious compound with giant buildings just under the sunset.

These folks made a little fire.

And this person is either pointing a gun in the air or just their finger. I would have needed 210 megapixels to figure that out.

All of that is in the photo and I wanted people to be able to zoom in and search around and look for this stuff. After some searching I found this website called Gigapan. I'm pretty sure it uses Google Earth technology so people can upload giant panoramic images and easily zoom and pan and search the images for cool stuff.

I uploaded the full file here.

The site is a little on the elderly side and does not work great with mobile devices. However, if you turn your phone sideways and hit the little expand arrows on the image, it is much easier to look around.

The trick is you can't pinch and zoom to hit the little arrows or else you will stay zoomed in that much when it expands.

In any case, let me know if you can find all 7 things! There are also critter footprints and some profanity that I didn't show, so feel free to look for that as well.

[belle--ofthebrawl]

I am so invested in your posts about Mountain and his pack of moms.

Does Mountain turn into a big kit whenever he visits them? Like a college kid who goes back home to his family during holidays.

- @ghouletteanon

(I did exactly two Google searches and these are the names for the previous drummers I found. I went with Terra over Gamma for obvious elemental reasons. I think there's three total? My inbox and DMs are open to any and all earth ghoul stans who know more than I do.)

Nothing terrible under the cut except the horror of knowing your parental figures have sex.

He knows Pebble's aware as soon as he sets foot into the deeper woods. The trees and mycelium networks are her eyes and ears, leaves rustling with wind-carried words to wherever she is. Not a single twig in this forest snaps without her knowing about it, which would give anyone else an incredible headache but Pebble seems to like it just fine.

And sure enough, he doesn't get but a yard or so before she appears. Sitting on an ancient log like she's been there the whole time waiting for him to pass by, even though he knew he'd been alone just moments ago.

She's all criss-crossed up from her arms to her legs, still as a statue as she watches him approach with his picnic basket. He doesn't say anything; he knows this routine well enough by now. Pebble can get odd, when left to her own devices for too long. The others are usually good at bringing her back to herself though.

Food helps too. Not the food she can scavenge from the forest like berries and mushrooms and prey animals eaten raw. Food that's been altered, baked, cooked. He lifts the cloth of the picnic basket and lets the warm smell of fresh bread waft out. Her nostrils flair and she stands up, quick as a wink. With one quick nod, she's off; darting through the undergrowth like a fox. It's on him to keep up, but he knows she'll come back for him if he lays behind too far. She'll get impatient but she'll always come back.

The path is different every time he visits. Some trick of Terra's to keep strangers out if they aren't guided in but he doesn't mind. He knows how much they value privacy and the time it takes to get to the destination is never too long. The undergrowth thins out, the trees grow further and further apart until they're in Ivy's garden with Ivy herself bending over to tug up a bundle of root vegetables. Pebble licks her fingertips as she walks over, delivering a loud and resounding smack to Ivy's rear end that Mountain glances away to avoid seeing barely in the nick of time.

"Pebble!" Ivy shouts, shooting up straight and cuffing the small menace in return. "Just once, a hello would be nice to hear instead of-"

"Hello." Mountain calls, walking between the rows to her with a wave. She turns around again and her happiness is so infectious that nearby plants immediately start flowering in response. Pebble takes the opportunity to dart into the little home that's been carved into the earth, set into the base of gentle slope covered in soft green grass.

"Mountain!" She cries, dropping her harvest into the dirt and leaping over the plants to catch him up in a bear hug. "Oh, I was just thinking about you! Terra was saying you were all back from tour, so of course we've been expecting you but honestly not so soon and-"

"Let that boy breathe." Comes a deeper voice from the doorway of the little home. Mountain straightens up automatically, brushing a few fly aways out of her face as Terra easily lopes over with her cane. She stops a few feet away, looks over him with a critical eye and he's acutely aware of every wrinkle and stain in his clothes, the way his right boot's come untied and how the flannel he has on now was definitely hers once upon a time.

"Suppose we'll have to take you as you are then." Terra says, a telling twinkle in her eye though her face remains firm. "What'd you bring us this time?"

"Harvest bread." He says, finally handing over the picnic basket. "Gooseberry and raspberry jam. Two kinds of cheese. Wine and whiskey and weed."

"Good stuff." Ivy says in approval.

"We'll see." Terra says. Then, "Pebble, don't you dare."

Pebble slinks out from behind Terra, hands raised in innocence even as her tail whips back. It's caught just in time by Terra's own tail, wrangled into submission as Mountain pretends to be thoroughly engrossed by his feet. He's not a prude, far from it but it just feels awkward to watch the ones who helped him with his first moments Topside be...like that.

"Welcome back." Terra says fondly after Pebble yanks her tail away and stomps off to set the table. Ivy picks up her vegetables again and goes to put her gardening tools away. "Tell us where you've been this whole time."

"All over." Mountain begins. And, like he always does, hits his head on the doorframe on the way in.

Some things never change.

[storm-angel989]

Could you do a Valentino's daughter where shes addicted to drugs but it's simply stuff like cocaine or meth or painkillers and instead you don't have to do this part Velvettes son(idc about the name) finds out when he was looking for her and he found it in her room?

Hi Friend,

I’m so sorry- this is one that has been on my google list for awhile now. I lost my best friend to addiction, so this one sort of hit home. It took me awhile to sort through my own feelings about it and write from Valentino's point of view. Enjoy- and big hugs to anyone going through or handling the struggle.

<3 Mandy

At its core, addiction is a disease. 

Valentino knew that. Hell, in his role as an overlord, he preyed on it. Getting sinners on earth and in hell, and hellborne trapped in the vicious cycle of highs and lows was how he gained his power. Not once did he think twice about the consequences for these souls. Quite honestly, he didn’t care.

Not until he watched his daughter start to succumb.  

She was seventeen when he first saw the change. A shift from straight A student to D’s almost overnight. Text messages and phone calls from the school. A defensive stance when asked about her day. Dragging her to a therapist's office was his last shot. Taking the opportunity that presented to him,  now he stood in the mess she called her bedroom next to Vox and Velvette. 

“I don’t like digging through her stuff,” Valentino said out loud. “I mean, I would hate it if…”

“You’ve earned the right to privacy, right now she hasn’t. Something is going on here, and I’m sure we’ll find the answer in here,” Vox replied. 

“Just try to be neat about it. It might look like a disaster to us, but I’m sure she knows where everything is,” Velvette added. 

She and Vox exchanged looks. They suspected as much- the signs were there. Signs Valentino and his wife refused to see. Carefully, methodically, they searched out every place Vox and Velvette could think of that might hide the source of her sudden personality change. 

“I’m telling you, there is nothing here, I’m sure she’s just stressed out,” Valentino said aloud. 

Vox spotted it out of the corner of his eye. In one quick motion, he yanked the book from the shelf and opened the cover. 

“Oldest trick in the book,” he said out loud as he showed Valentino and Velvette the hallowed out tome. “I think I found an answer.”

The expression on Valentino’s face melted from annoyance to disbelief. He snatched the book from Vox’s hand and lifted up a baggie of blue tinged white powder.

“Fucking, fuck fuck fuck,” he cursed as he opened the baggie. “Fucking coke? My daughter? No, this has to be a mistake. She knows better, she’s probably selling it, she…she probably needs a bigger allowance! Maybe she…”

“Val, isn’t that color an indicator that it's from your stash?” Velvette interrupted gently. “You’re the only one who dyes drugs so you know exactly who sold what.” 

Valentino’s face turned a deeper red. From his back, his wings sprung forth as his teeth sharpened, transforming into red points.

“I think we can solve this whole question simply,” Vox added. “We’ll pick her up from the therapist's office and have her drug tested. That will tell us if she’s taking or selling. You go question your employees assigned that color. Bring a picture, ask if they’ve sold it to anyone who looks like her.” 

“If her drug test comes back positive, take her to an addiction center. I will not have my daughter fall victim to…” the rest of Valentino’s sentence cut off as he stormed out of the room. 

Down in his studio, seven sinners, a photo of his daughter. A confirmation of sale. 

“Yeah, that bitch will be another on your payroll soon enough!” One sinner gloated. 

The flash of his gun. Six bullets. Six bodies.

To the remaining sinner, he handed a photo of his daughter.

“You spread the word. Anyone in my circle or outside of it, sells to this hellborne, they’ll meet the same fate,” he ordered. “Now go.” 

Valentino watched as he scampered off down the hall. Turning away from the mess, he heard the sounds of footsteps as the cleaning crew stepped forward. 

“No. Leave them. Just in case anyone needs to be reminded,” Valentino said as he stepped into the elevator. 

He looked down at his phone and his heart sank at Vox’s text. Anger boiled up and he slammed his phone into the wall, watching as the shattered pieces hit the ground. 

“Fuck,” he hollored into the empty room. “Fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck!” 

His mind raced as he stomped out of the elevator and into the penthouse. Back in his daughter's room, the idea of privacy vanished as he ripped apart her room. 

She knew better, she knew better! Or did she? Was he…

Valentino sank onto her bed and he surveyed the torn apart space. What if…what if this entire thing was his fault? With a sigh, he stood up and strode across the room. Housekeeping would put it back together, with no place to hide. She wouldn’t be an addict long. He would make sure of it.

[the-empress-7]

“His running theory is: new android phones have AI editing tool, that with a touch, sort of merges multiple shots into "best shot" and fix small touch ups automatically. And it also offers you the option without you even choosing as "here look at what i did".

I think it’s the new Google pixel. The advert is running on UKTV. It literally advertises how you can pick the best headshot out of a group from multiple images.

MANY people have mentioned this in the comment section on the Telegraph.

I rather think The Prince and Princess of Wales missed a trick today. Catherine should not have apologised, instead I think William should have joked about having done exactly this with his phone.

I have an i-phone and it has photo burst feature. One picture with many frames, and you pick the one you want, cause many of the frames end up with a blurring effect in different spots.

I am more than okay with Catherine apologizing. She used her voice. It was her prerogative.

The world needed a reminder that she is not a mute, and she certainly is not a coward who'd collapse to a floor in fit of tears over a controversy.

Catherine is made of the strongest stuff on earth.

[aspenicus-is-learning]

This is my late night trick or treat 🎃 do you have any fun ocsar fics to share with us? Definitely never trick or treated here before 🥸

hmmm i think i've seen this costume before... but it's the end of the night and i'm a nice old hag, so here, have some more candy

Oscar! i love oscar. i have no idea what to do with oscar.

my dream is to write some really toxic oscarmark + seb being RANCID. but i'm not yet at a point in my writing where i feel that i can comfortably portray truly bad relationships in a way that feels... right? idk i want to do it justice. like the pullpin fic is like. they're really not good for each other and to each other but both of them are not bad people, really, they're just bad together at this specific time in their lives. but if i were ever to write oscarmark mark would fully be a villain, and it's hard to make someone a truly bad person while still both writing from their pov and having other characters (especially a character as reasonable as oscar) still love them and still think of them as not entirely bad or even good. i think one day i will have the inspiration and skill to do it, but for now, alas, loscar and landoscar must suffice.

but oh. urgggg. they'd be so bad.

otherwise, i have a little oscar fic for you that i also posted here for osctober. it's kind of the shitty candy at the bottom of the bucket, so to speak, but here it is.

the way i format on ao3 is different from how i format in google docs, which is where i have copied previous snippets from, so i'm sorry if it's a little off

Oscar isn't cursed. He doesn't believe in things like that.

Just. Unlucky. 

Unlucky, when he's 12 and his kart's bolts loosen, just a little bit, as he's about to cross the finish line in first.

Unlucky, when he's 1 and a half and his crib breaks under him, and he falls to the cushioned mattress.

Unlucky, when he's 6 and his little locker at school rusts shut in the night.

Unlucky, when he's 9 and his bike breaks under him.

Unlucky, when he's 4 and every light bulb in his bedroom shatters at once.

Unlucky, when he's 16 and a book he's reading comes unbound as he opens it.

Unlucky, when he's 3 and his high chair falls apart when he's placed in it.

Unlucky, when, on the night of his birth, the hospital loses power inexplicably.

And now, just unlucky, when he's 23 and the front wing of his car slides under him, sending him into the barriers and out of consciousness. 

++++

Oscar isn't so much awake as he is aware.

Aware of the metal around him, a cage and a safety net all in one. The halo has saved his life, he distantly realizes. But he's upside down and up against the barriers and the earth.

He thought that the- the unluckiness was gone.

When he'd won FRECA, most of the more... Conspicuous unlucky occurrences had gone away. There had still been all the other small things: any hot drink was always cold, every pen he picked up was spotty and nearly dry, but only in his hands, his shoes came untied within 10 minutes of him tying them, and a hundred other little things that were inconvenient, but never as dangerous as they had been before.

Not like this.

Because with Oscar, mechanical malfunctions were never something explicable. There was no reason that the front wing could have detached in that way, could have slipped under the car as it did. 

His unluckiness was always at the root of it. Mechanics who worked with him for large amounts of time learned that there was no way to anticipate the little issues that Oscar caused. They came, and they had to be fixed, and there was no real way to prevent them. 

This is different. 

When he was 4 and the light bulbs shattered, he was injured. But it would never have killed him. When he was 9 and his bike fell apart as he rode it, he'd only bumped his head and skinned a knee. They were not things that would have ended his life, ever.

But now?

Oscar can feel the blood trickling down his arms, coming from his shoulder. 

He breathes out. 

++++

Oscar wakes up, truly this time, to a hospital room.

The beeping of the machines around him is the first thing he registers, and then the cold white light, and finally the three slumped figures in the corner, sharing two chairs pressed close to make a bench sort of thing. 

One of them, the one Oscar realizes is Logan, seems to be the only one awake. 

He wants to call out, but finds his throat is dry and anyway, he might want a little bit more peace before everyone is worrying over him. Oscar shifts a bit, and pain shoots through his shoulder. But only his shoulder. Small mercy. No pain in his hands, and he clenches them a bit to check for bandages, finding none. He can still drive then, when he gets out of here. 

Logan's head jerks up as the blankets over Oscar rustle, and his face goes first to relief and then to... Anger?

He gets up from where he's sat, jostling the other two a bit, but not enough to wake them, who Oscar can now tell are Lando and... Lewis? Before he can ponder why the 7-time world champion is here in his hospital room, Logan bursts out. "When were you going to tell us you were cursed?!"

Oscar wants to respond, wants to say I'm not cursed and Curses aren't real, what the fuck are you talking about, but he's just a bit overwhelmed by all of this, and the pain and the bright light above. 

Thankfully, Logan seems to realize this and lowers his voice. What he says next still doesn't make any sense, but it's something. "You can't be racing with a curse, Oscar. It's even worse than racing with a broken rib, which you also shouldn't have done, but Oscar..."

Oscar finally speaks, his voice scratchy and thin. "I didn't- Logan, I'm not cursed. I've always been... Unlucky."

"Always?!? Oscar, why haven't you seen a Practitioner? This isn't... It's just a little curse, it's not a life-bind or something strong like that. It's easy to break. Hell, I could break it with some guidance." Literally none of what Logan is telling him makes any sense to Oscar. He isn't cursed. Curses aren't real. And did Logan say he could break it?

"Logan... What do you mean? Curses aren't real," Oscar says, his voice getting stronger as he speaks more. 

Logan stares at him a bit, dumbfounded. At this point, Lewis and Lando have blinked their eyes open, and Lewis gets up and walks to stand by Logan. 

"Oscar... Are you not a witch?" Lewis stares at him a bit, and Lando straightens up in the corner. 

What the fuck is all Oscar can think. "Of course I'm not a witch, witches aren't real."

Lando laughs a bit, from his perch in the corner. "Then what's this, Osc?" He asks, snapping his fingers. The lights go out, just for a moment, until Lando snaps again and they come back on. 

Oscar really doesn't have a response for that. 

While he thinks on how to rationalize this whole situation, Lewis sighs and says. "Let's talk in the hallway."

Okay then. 

He isn't cursed. He isn't. Curses aren't real. 

He's just unlucky. Inexplicably unlucky. Constantly unlucky. Has been all his life. 

It wasn't a curse. It was just how Oscar was.

At least, that is what he has to believe. If that isn't true, then what in his world is? If he is cursed, then did he ever sign his contract with McLaren? If he is cursed, then is any of this real? Is he a Formula 1 driver? 

Before Oscar can follow that logic path anymore, Lewis re-enters the room. Only Lewis though, which seems suspicious to Oscar's mind. 

"So, Oscar," Lewis begins with a tone like someone telling their child that Santa isn't real. "You aren't a witch?"

"No," Oscar says with as much finality as he can muster. Because he's pretty sure he'd know if he was. 

Lewis looks at him for a bit, and Oscar can't help but shift under his gaze. When he speaks again, it is with a placating tone. "Oscar, every Formula 1 driver is a witch. It's always been this way. Normal people... You need a certain amount of luck. A certain kind of luck." The to survive goes unspoken, and Oscar hears it.

"I'm not a witch, Lewis, witches aren't real," Oscar is kind of pleading now, if he admits it to himself. Pleading for this to all be a joke or a dream. 

He sighs. "Oscar, even if you aren't a witch, you are cursed. And that is unforgivably dangerous. And very easy to fix," Lewis pauses a bit. Oscar knows there's a catch. "But you do need to be willing. I can fix it right now, if you let me."

"I am not cursed." Oscar tries again, mostly losing his fight. 

"You need to believe you are to be cured of it," Lewis explains. 

Oscar looks at him. He decides that if this is a dream, he might as well play into it and hope he wakes up. If it's real... "Fine."

++++

It is a few days later when Oscar truly realizes it. 

Logan and Lando bring him coffee. 

Hot coffee. 

It burns his tongue, but in a way that Oscar knows is not just his luck. 

"Oh," He says out loud, a bit in wonder of it all. 

"Yeah, Osc, oh," Lando says, looking at him fondly. Logan snorts. 

[sol-consort]

Repost of an ask I accidentally deleted.

Pov: You're a turian discovering this new sapient species broadcasting their whole location to the galaxy very loudly and decide to go down to investigate the humans.

Humans are like a rubber ball, which is what the first contact war proved. The harder you throw them, the harder they bounce back, and the next thing you know, all of your loyal turian population are sending creepy fanmail letters to the cute human news reporters.

The fact that we express joy by showing our teeth probably is something that never sat well with the turians ever, huh?

Also POV: you're the Councillors meeting the human team sent to you trying to convince you on why they should have an embassy right next door and please let them in the citidal please please please please please please-

We Don't bite .Often. We are silly little guys let us in come on. We have been STARVED for any galactic connections. Please we were this close to blowing each other up with nuclear weapons.

Ignore that last bit. Hahaha. Ha. So let us in! Friends! We are friends, let's be friends now. Tell us how you guys reproduce and what you eat. We have cats! We have chocolate, and we have produced more porn than a single human can consume in their lifetime! We have everything you need so let us join the partyyyy.

We've brought beer :) You don't have that, right? Let us in, and we will give you all the food we've made.

Humans annoying their way into getting an embassy so soon is very hilarious.

Because you know damn well that our politicians played the first contact war card and guilt tripped the council into letting us sit on the big kids' table after the turian bullied us to hell and back. We brought the waterworks and pretended they really hurt our feelings just to get the shiny human embassy office.

It didn't matter that they threw us in some random office next to the elcor and the embassies food court. You know damn well none of the humans stayed on the office and they're constantly annoying their neighbour embassies or the citidal tower instead.

Hell, we even stooped so low to accept being called the council's new favourite pet race just so we can get all the benefits and jumpstart our integration into the galaxy.

Constantly asking questions. Constantly touching things. Constantly asking to eat this and drink that without regards to if it will kill us or not.

That's how they found out humans had the most diverse genetics btw, before they could get any tests done on the humans with viable results, they found the said humans eating everything they come across and updating a google docs sheet of things they tried that haven't killed them yet.

The doc is shared between all the humans on the Citidal, and everyone adds their updates. Some even tried inedible stuff just to see, because what if space plastic is different than our plastic? Sure, they ended up in emergency care, but it was so worth it.

The humans are very impatient, and the other races quickly learned. They want something done, and they want to do it now, and they want to get the gratification immediately! They make the salarians look like monks despite their short life spans

In the span of a year, earth humans were sending in job applications to different colonies and planets, ones they haven't even visited yet.

By the span of 5 years, humans successfully spread through the galaxy and you always find one nearby. It's harder not to spot a human than it is to spot them.

How do you find out if the person wearing this armour is an asari or a human? Simple, just wait.

The human will announce it themselves by doing some dumb shit like twirling the loaded gun in their hand to do a really sick trick they saw on the human social media app, tiktok.

Udina was a little shit, yes, but you know that man was knocking on the councillors' doors every day at 3am. to show them his powerpoint presentation on why humans deserve a seat on the council.

Humans fit wherever you put them. They eat everything, they can handle most temperatures. they only need oxygen and some sleep, and they're good to go!

It's hard for the aliens to predict just what type of human any given one of us they meet could be.

There's just too many to keep track of. The most rude person and the nicest person a turian have met are both humans.

They want to see the stars, they want to take pictures, they want to stare at pretty sunsets on different planets and they want to speak to aliens, hug them and learn more about them

They're burning bright like a star, wanting so much all the time. It's intimidating to the other races how hungry humans are for information and connection that they come across as a bully. Their friendly nature gets misunderstood and their kind gestures gets questioned for ulterior motives.

Because humans love helping, it's in our genetic code as a tribal species. We love feeling useful for the tribe and fulfilling others needs. We love giving someone a sip of our drink, opening the door for someone else, picking up a stray empty can and throwing it in the trash.

Going on useful fetch missions just to see someone else smile, hearing a stranger vent because we have been there, smiling at people we make eye contact with, giving compliments and laughing at jokes we overheard from strangers.

We are social, be it online or offline. We love others, we love loving others and we want others to love us back. Each human is so different yet so similar, some of us will feel more at home with the aliens than with other humans while others might not even stomach leaving earth

We are also...kinda of feral in a way? We don't notice it because we're surrounded by humans.

But if you look closely, so many of our traits are animalistic and could be perceived as scary by an alien that had thousands of years to evolve past them. Our hardware is still relatively new, and an update won't come for a long time.

The hugging. the yelling, the dancing, playing tag. games of chase. We evolved from predetors, our eyes are trained to follow a single target precisely.

Rough playing with your friends, enjoying throwing objects and catching it like a ball, enjoying tearing through food with our teeth. Hell we look like predators, we act like ones too.

We're not like worker bees, like turians who always give their all to everything they do.

No, we preserve energy, then lunge at our target the second it's gaurd falls down. A persistent predator that wears you down rather than overpowering you like a krogan

Btw, Korgans evolved from prey because of where their eyes are placed. Only predetors have forward facing eyes to focus on a single thing, the wider one's vision is the more likely they used to be a prey animal.

Side note, but Krogans would probably taste kinda good bc of that, predators' meat evolves to be shrivled and bitter. While Krogans have a literal hump full of food nutrition! Turians would taste bad unless chicken in that case... CHICKEN.

So do you think Hanar and Drell find it adorable that we used to be aquatic?

Anyway so-

In a single decade, humanity successfully integrated fully into the galaxy and joined the Andromeda project to explore the new one. We're like the opposite of hanar. So many other races achieved less than half of what we did in ten times the amount of years

Because we need social contact, it's vital for our survival as much as the sun is. It's our drive for exploring and hoping for aliens, for some other race out there we could befriend and learn about.

New things give us such a rush of dopamine and we're constantly chasing it with stars in our eyes.

In a way, the aliens probably felt the most special after meeting the humans. To have a race so interested in you and learning about you and appreciating your culture. To have thousands if not millions of humans ready to dedicate their lives to documenting you just because you happened to be the prettiest race in their eyes.

Like I'd gladly throw my life away to study the Drell.

And we things other races don't! We party harder funny enough.

A turian mentions it in ME2. How most alcoholic beverages everyone uses today, was invented by humans. How it seems like humans found out every intoxication there is and let it spread like wildfire to others. Out endless libraries of music, the videogames we've made, the art, the instruments we play.

And a Salarian mentions how human food is their favourite. Don't the Hanar also like our sushi? funny enough.

We're infectious. Easily accept anyone and everyone into our groups if we happened to click with them, we even befriended the animals on our planets enough to care for them like our own children.

[imdoingsortagay]

request for valentines day celebration!! prompt 4, 6 and 12 with emo!wanda x reader. where wanda is trying to hint (kinda new avenger) reader that she’s likes them 🤭🤭 fluffy emo!wanda is my fave

The secret admirer

warnings: fluff , mention of some avengers, stucky ( being gay for a bit)

a/n: mwah enjoy <3

“ Looks like someone got some new things from their secret admirer,” Natasha says as she walks into the kitchen, met with the view of some of the prettiest bouquets of flowers accompanies by a fresh plate of french toast. 

“ Roses are red, violets are blue, I know I can't rhyme, but I want to date you,” you read aloud to her, smiling a bit at the cheesy pickup line the person left for you. 

In the past couple of weeks, someone in the compound had been leaving things for you, planning it when you least expect it and you haven’t been able to figure it out. 

“ There are flowers in the front of your door y/n” 

“Who from?” you ask her, reading some papers from a meeting.

“I think that you have a secret admirer.” Natasha taunts as she brings the flowers to your room, confused as to why someone would leave flowers. Being past widows, neither of you were even aware that people did this but you took the flowers in your room for a pop of color.

“ Are you sure that you didn’t send these Natty? I promise to let you down easy if you do” you jokingly tell her.

“ Oh sweet y/n,” Natasha starts off,” I think we’ve established that the only chance that I’d consider to date you is if you were the only other person on earth”. 

“ Ouch Romanoff, my heart,” you dramatically say. Both of you had been good friends, meeting each other in the red room, escaping together, and now in a team together protecting the planet from any sort of threats. All this time together meant that you only saw her as a best friend which both of you were fine with as Natasha had her eyes set on a certain agent at shield.

“ You are you dumb y/n-” 

“ Calling me dumb Natty? Says the one who-” 

“ Hello to both of you,” Wanda says as she walks into the kitchen, looking at the bouquet of flowers on the counter while she witnesses both of her teammates bicker like children. 

The younger brunette tries her best to hide her smile as you observe the flowers. 

What you didn’t know was that Wanda had been the one who was leaving you all of these messages, too shy to admit the feelings that she had for you with a fear of being rejected. A quick google search leads to her leaving presents in your room, and kitchen but you seem to struggle that it’s her. Wanda even left a bit of clue that might help but even those don’t seem to help.

“ So who got the cute flowers?” Wanda curiously asks, looking at the amazing job the florist did with choosing flowers related to love. The roses and tulips bring life to the boring kitchen. 

Natasha out of boredom decides the moment to be quiet to look at the conversation between you too. In her own little investigation, everyone on the team besides Wanda and Sam were the two people left as to who the fuck was sending you all of these things. She assumed at first, Tony would do something like this because he has money to spend for days and he denied it. Bruce only saw you as a friend, Clint has a whole family with kids that he’s very happy to deal with, and Bucky has something going on with Steve that she’ll have to investigate another time while sweet Thot’s heart seemed to belong to Jane foster. 

Wanda seemed to forget that Natasha was in the kitchen with you too as she giggles at the little jokes you throw into the conversation, failing badly at trying to hide the crush but can you blame her if she doesn’t have any sort of experience with it? 

“ y/n you are too funny,” Wanda says placing her hand on your shoulder, wondering if the article on dating is doing the trick to woo you,” always making me laugh”. All Natasha can do is cringe, feeling bad for the younger redhead with her very terrible attempt at flirting. A couple more attempts at flirting, some jokes made by Wanda, and more awkwardness before you leave the kitchen to make your way to train with Clint. Wanda was about to leave as well to try to get the next set of items ready when she was stopped by her teammates who was smiling like crazy, holding in her laughter.

Now all the cheesy sticky notes left for you make sense now.

“ Natasha,” she starts off. 

“ Witchy that was some of the worst flirting I’ve ever seen-” Natasha says before laughing.

“ It’s not that bad Nat, have you seen whatever the fuck Bucky and Steve have been doing?” She asks, a little embarrassed that even the black widow knows about her crush on you. 

“ I did not expect you out of all people to send my y/n those gifts, the only thing that confirmed it was the flirting. Also those pickup lines are so cheesy where did you even get them?”. 

“ not the point,” Wanda tells her before trying to look in the fridge for food but the mighty black widow stops her. Though Wanda can use her powers to just move her, it’s too early to be doing that and she’d have to be lectured by Stark about the use of her powers to mess with people. 

“ It’s been a couple of weeks now Wanda, so when do you plan on telling y/n about your feelings before I don’t know, they just get tired of all the gifts?” Natasha asks the younger woman. They might not be as close but she would hate to see the young woman heartbroken after all of the things that she’s experienced in life so far. At that moment she decided it would be a good idea to help her out with stuff like this.

“ Would you help me out, Natasha? I know that we aren’t close but you know y/n better than anyone and I just want to make this as perfect as possible, like I know that it’s alot to ask so take all of the -” 

“ I’ll help you out witchy with your crush and reveal,” Natasha says which elicited a smile from Wanda. Using what she learned from Sam and Bucky, Wanda holds out her hand to give the older woman in front of her a fist bump instead of a hug but she is relieved when Natasha fistbumps her. 

“ One more week and I’ll make sure y/n will know about your crush,” Natasha ensure her teammate before they head to her room to make up a plan. 

After two hours of romantic plans, Clint joined in and with so many questions that Wanda asked, the plan was finally formed and Wanda could not wait for it to happen.

A week full of busy meetings, training with the senior avengers, Wanda catching Steve and Bucky going at it in the supply closet on accident ( poor girlie ) leads to the both of you spending the weekend at one of Tony’s many cabins near the compound.

As much as Wanda wanted to tell you about her feelings at the compound, she wanted to make sure that it wouldn’t be interrupted by anyone coming in or their pets.

“ So tony just let us borrow it for the weekend?” You ask while you drive together to the cabin.

While you are confused, you are are very happy to take a break from your Avengers stuff, always happy to spend time with the brunette woman. Being earth’s mightiest hero’s left for no free time but when there was some, you’d always take it to spend time with Wanda.

“ something about needing us to bond more since we’re the only two who haven’t spend time alone,” Wanda lies to you , while everyone in the team very much is aware your super close to each other.

“ weird ,” you comment as you pull up into the drive way, always amazed at the size of these cabins and question why the man always needs to go big. Wanda gets her stuff and quickly heads in first before you do, happy to be greeted with a array of desserts, all of them your favorite ones and one last note with a quote that you had said to Wanda when you first met.

“ Wanda maximoff,” she tells herself, “ you are a very pretty girl, you got this, pietro would tell you that you got this.”

You walk into the cabin a couple of minutes after to see Wanda standing in the kitchen next to an array of desserts, getting hungry at the sight of them.

“ WANDA HOW DID YOU DO ALL THIS ?” You say in an excited tone.

“ I wanted to talk about the admirer of yours actually,” she starts off while you sit down at the table along with her.

“ oh that ? Yeah I don’t think it’s Natasha but she’s been spending a lot of time with you , why ?” You casually ask her.

“ well it’s because -“

“ cause she’s only done this once with Bruce and while I know you wouldn’t hurt a single fly, I will throw you out side of a window if you-

“ i dont like Natasha , i like you" she interrupts your ramble before there’s silence between the two of you, the young woman in front of you mad that she didn’t get to do her plan.

“ me ?”

“ you’re so hot your hurting my feeling that I can’t deal, “ she says to you , while you chuckle at the choice of lyrics she uses. Wanda decides to take this opportunity to go towards you , life you of out of your chair to kiss you.

Not the way that she would of imagined it but it’s a memory she’ll cherish forever

[falselyprofound]

Not to be "old man yells at cloud" on main again, but modern Google sure is something. Used to be that I could search obvious song lyrics and get the song in question, but today when I tried it its stupid AI instead interpreted it as a sign I'm suicidal and suggested I might be bipolar.

At a games night last week it briefly tricked a 2am-brained friend of a friend into thinking that the moon was the 8th continent of earth

Woke up this morning to find that windows had added copilot to my computer without asking and i wanted to maul something.

Can this fucking fad end already please

[vampireghostlawyer]

extremely niche and superficial pet peeve but i cannot stand when other americans have to make a show out of being confused/shocked/whatever by ambrosia or watergate salad or snickers salad or anything of that kind.

"i've NEVER seen this in my life and im american" i do not believe that for one second. you've never been to a potluck?? you've never had a class party? you've never been to a block party? or an old folks home??? like. they're not even shocking ingredients. it's almost always just sweet things in a dairy and/or jelly?? like honestly people from outside the US being annoying about american food is one thing, but i get that they might not have seen it before. but AMERICANS acting like snickers salad or any other old lady potluck staple is so terrifying and earth shattering makes my blood boil like . WHY are you pretending. it's like the kids who would shriek and make retching sounds in middle school when someone said the word "moist." like this is all clearly a charade for attention. why are you doing it.

porbably the same americans who claim to not know what puppy chow is , even though it's available in every gas station across america.

does it bother anyone else that as of late, it's so much harder to find slushies in midwest gas stations. when i was a child every single place had them and they were light and fluffy and never too strong and now when you go to kwik trip or most locally owned stations, it's always that very hard, sloppy, and pungent kind.

see? they are different. on the left, your mouth will be cut by the blades and the juice too sour and on the right, it is like sucking on a cloud. this is not the only change they've made, sources say.

no logner do they carry arizona iced tea cans, it is always the bottles. the bottles are 1.99 while the cans .99 so this is possibly a marketing ploy or some sort of trick. it has become more difficult to buy the large jugs of arizona as well. in 2022, i would buy four or five at a time in some cases, and now i brew my own tea because the atargets have made it increasingly difficult to find these tea. '

but this is not the most egregious of their offenses. the most of all is that the suare microwave yakisoba is nowehere to be found. when you go to the store, the options you are greeted with, the ramen that waves and smiles at you so sinisterly is only the cup. the cup canot be microwaved !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what use to me is an easy meal that requires a pote on the stope. it means nothing to me.

the suare yakisoba was microwavelle . simply remove the flavor packets and wrapping and microwave for four minutes with water. i did this every day for years. now, it is gone. gone from my sight and my grasp but never my memory.

i've googled a plethora of times trying to decipher when and if this is a choice, if they were discontinued but it seems this is just the plight of my circumstances because i have no information. just now

just now i've learned they are actually available on amazon.

[karagrace]

Hey beautiful people!

I have a google classroom that’s been up for a while now! It’s an online platform for all kinds of witchy knowledge, a place to share your spells, progress, your own information, helpful tips and tricks and I post heaps of content myself coming straight from books I own about things like

Earth magic, auras, chakras, crystals, tarot, herbal magic, love magic, goddess magic, green witch magic, astrology, house magic and so much more :)

So far we’re at just above 70 members and are welcoming so much more!

If you’d like to join the code is xi5fxwe

I hope to see you there 🫶🏻