#good stay out of our yard' and he didn't seem to know what to say to that

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.

I don't have external meltdowns.

I could. I don't let it happen.

I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.

So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.

She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.

Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].

It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.

They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.

I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.

I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.

I couldn't understand what made her like this.

But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.

If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.

And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*

And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?

My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.

Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???

And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.

I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*

She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.

I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.

So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.

But I told her hundreds of times.

I probably should have just screamed at her.

[elviswhore69]

The Road Home.

-WARNINGS -

Male receiving - hair pulling - making our - ass slapping - choking - dirty talk - arguing - praising - public sex (sort of) - use of daddy in a sexual way 2 or 3 times. I THINK THATS ALL BUT IM NOT SURE IM SORRY IF THIS ISNT GOOD THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING SMUT. PLEASE TELL ME IF I SHOULD CHANGE ANYTHING.

You and Elvis had been ignoring eachother ever since you both left his best friend Joe Esposito's house. You accidentally said something you shouldn't of.. something a little personal about Elvis that he had only told you.

You didn't expect Elvis to be mad, you thought he would laugh it off and maybe tell you not to say it again but no, he was furious with you. He dragged you by your arm all the way to his black Cadillac in the front yard, opened your door, sat you down, and shut the door. He went around the car and got in, turned the car on, and drove away.

Elvis was usually the type to put music on in the car but he didn't. You both sat in silence. The only sound being the the engine of the car. You thought about saying your sorry for what you said but you decided to stay quiet instead.

You kept thinking of ways to make it up to him but all that kept coming up was to touch him. Your thoughts soon took over as Elvis was stopped at a red light, left hand on the bridge of his nose with his eyes shut. You knew that it was the perfect time, it would be unexpected.

You slowly moved your left hand over the center console and down to his right thigh, gliding it over his bulge. He opened his eyes to the sudden feeling. "Y/n. What are you doing." He asks. "J-just trying to m-make it up to you E.." ypu reply. "Y/n if you ever say some' like that again there's gonna be consequences. You embarrassed me in front of m' best friend." He says.

"I know Elvis and I said I'm sorry." You respond through gritted teeth. "Excuse me lil girl? Who do you think your talking to? Don't you get smart with me." He asks. " I'm talking to you Elvis. I said I'm sorry and you just made it seem like I meant to embarrass you on purpose." You say out of honestness.

" Baby I'm telling you right now if you don't lose that godamn attitude I will pull this fucking car over and make you suck my cock right there and not in here." he says. "Then do it E" you snap.

He looks for a good spot to pull over and when he finds a truck spot he knows it's perfect. He turns right to pull in, parks the Cadillac in a parking spot near the back of the parking lot, shuts the car off, unbuckles his seat belt and yanks you out of the car when he makes it around the car.

"Get out y/n" he says impatiently. "Make me." You bark. "Wanna give me a goddamn attitude y/n, really? Get the fuck out now." He suddenly yanks you out of the car by your wrist and pinning you to the car door by your throat. He chokes you lightly and presses his mouth to yours quickly giving you no time to breathe.

He pries your mouth open with his tounge, dipping it in your delicate mouth, his leather gloves burning your neck. He lets go of your neck staring at you for a second before slowly moving to whisper in your ear "Get down and suck my cock yeah darlin?" You have no choice but to get down on your knees on the hard cold concrete.

You glide your hands up his big meaty thighs up to the zipper of his navy blue dress pants, slowly unzipping them before massaging his cock through his boxers making a grunt slip past his perfect lips. "Take it out y/n c'mon." You obliged and pull his cock out of his boxers. You almost gasp at the size of him. You have been with Elvis for 8 years. It's not like you've never sucked his dick before he's just so.. big down there it shocks you.

You grasp his cock in your right hand and slowly pump him, teasing him for being so mean. All of a sudden he grabs a handful of your hair and guides your mouth onto his length, shoving your head down until your nose hits his base which leaves you gagging with spit coming out of the side of your mouth.

"Fuck baby that's good." He moans out loud. He then pulls you off of his cock leaving you choking at the new found freedom of air. "We aren't done." He says quickly while yanking you up, lifting your skirt up and moving your thong out of the way of your pussy. You gasp at how quick he was with that.

He grabs his dick and runs it along your slit nudging your beautiful clit with every swipe of his hard cock. Without warning he enters you. You were so wet his cock just went right in. He entered you with a loud groan and you helped back.

"Fuck y/n your still so godamn tight." He moans as he slowly begins to pound into your needy wet pussy. "E-" you begin but he suddenly has his hand right over your mouth. "Shut your fucking mouth y/n I don't want to hear it, you have said enough. Now let me use your fucking pussy" he snapped.

You can't deny the fact that you loved when he was aggressive but you were just scared about the people who might see you being railed up against a car on the side of a highway.

He moves his hand from your waist to your hair forming a ponytail to bring your head back on his shoulder to look at your pretty fucked out face. "Oh yeah baby your so fucking hot." He says as he prys your mouth open with his middle and ring fingers in order for you to suck on them. You quickly take his fingers in your mouth swirling your tounge around his long thick digits moaning softly around them while you look at him with a desperate look in your face as he continues to pound into your pussy this time hitting your g spot with so much force your knees buckle underneath you.

He chuckles lowly seeing you fall apart right in front of him. " Ya gonna cum baby? Hm? " He asks. " You know your such a good fucking girl for letting me do this to ya on the side of the road right?" You moan out loud around his fingers as he takes them out. As soon as your mouth is empty you can't help the moans and whimpers that escape you. "E baby plea-ease let me c-cum I'm so close." You moan out. As soon as he hears you say that he brings his wet fingers down to your clit and rubs in fast hard circles in all directions leaving you moaning so loud he grabs your neck and chokes you but not too hard.

"Shh. Baby be quiet your doing s-so fucking good oh my god." He can't help but break slowly as his hips stutter into you and he starts to moan into your neck softly. "Elvis! I'm gonna cum o-oh god!" You say warning him. "Come on baby cum, let daddy feel it. I'm close too." He tells you.

As soon as those words fly out of his beautiful mouth your knees lock and you grip onto the car door moaning and shaking slightly as your vision goes blurry and you cum all over his cock. "Oh yeah y/n. Y' so good for me. I'm gonna cum baby where do you want it?" Before you can even process what he asks you receive a harsh slap on your ass. " I asked ya a damn question." He groans. "I-in me daddy." You say lowly.

"Ohhhh fuck fuck fuck" he groans as he slowly pushes his cock in and out of you releasing warm ropes of his cum into you. He eventually pulls out after he catches his breath putting himself back into his pants and fixing your skirt. As you try to support yourself to stand up your legs fail you and you almost fall. As Elvis catches you falling he asks " was it that good y/n?" "Yes Elvis. It was so good. I'm sorry for what I said earlier." You respond as he seats you into the car.

"Good because when we get home you'll be even more sorry."

[n30nwrites]

Heel (Shifter TF141 x Male! Reader)

Chapter 3 of Good Doggy.

Masterlist here

Warnings - Just some sadness. Some thought of death but nothing too in detail. Some talks of sex and mention of Mating??? But nothing too explicit. Reader is kind of a dick but I understand it, you won't for a bit though. Also Price thinks about some dark things like kidnapping/murder, along with some thoughts on noncon biting, Lowkey the boys get kind of yandere in a way but nothing too dark I think. Ghost thinks about killing you. Also internalized homophobia but enough to not even notice, Thoughts of dubious consent.

Updated: 3/5/2024

Beta Reader/Editor: The one and only @letmelickyoureyeballs

Gaz takes his first step towards hope and he now understands everything.

He understands why Soap wouldn't shut up yesterday about you. He understands why Price held that meeting. He understands why Ghost keeps staring. He understands why he had to wait.

All good things come to those who wait. And he was patient. Some god out there must have seen that and granted him you. Because even though your eyes are covered he knows that you are it for him. It hasn't been officially confirmed, but there was no way you weren't it.

He doesn't think he can handle you not being his mate.

The car door opens and a woman walks out. And you greet her with a hug and a whisper in her ear about the stares from the neighbors, which she laughs at and kisses your cheek. And Gaz pauses in his movement.

He can hear his pack’s footsteps as they stumble out the door. Their words of protest at his actions quickly came to a stop as they realized that someone had joined you.

You take off your glasses to look at them as you pull away and he can imagine a future with you. He wants to live in this neighborhood, your house or his but he knew his would be big enough for a litter of pups. He wanted to have you stay home, healthy and fat and never in danger. 

Kyle looked at you like there was something worth looking at.

He now knows that he is going to continue loving you, and that he does not see a future when you will eventually pass on as all humans do. You are too gorgeous to be real, exactly what he waited for all this time and he does not regret it all.

You can't help but question your neighbors. There's four of them, as it turns out. All in black which you would judge if you weren't doing the same. Maya follows your gaze and you know that their attention must be on her.

She's beautiful, and you aren't insecure of yourself in a way, but even you had feelings for her at one point. Her left arm is a metal prosthetic, one that was forged by a family friend. She stands tall and proud and it makes you feel more confident. 

"Can I help you gentlemen?" She understands society's norms. She's polite with a possible killer, she bares her teeth showing a smile that is wide and almost innocent to falsely secure these men in front of her. She was a killer in disguise. Prepared at all times.

"Just greeting the new neighbors." Kyle says and the other three come next to him. They are in your yard, something that makes you uncomfortable.

"You greet differently than your friends." You comment, glancing at Soap and Ghost. "Still seem to have a staring problem." You lower your sunglasses more trying to ignore the harsh light. You make eye contact with each of them and your chest aches at it. "This is my partner-"

"Maya." She interrupts, taking the attention away from you. "You gentlemen mind helping us move our stuff in." And you glare at her, not that you cared for their help, you didn't like people touching your stuff nor did you like strangers being in your space. She was the opposite, she didn’t care if people entered her house. You guessed that now you had to share a living space with her, you’d have to get over it at some point. They step closer to agree.

"Really gonna invite some strangers to help?" You say loudly, knowing that they heard because you didn't care to hide the dislike. 

"I don't wanna carry these boxes darling..." She drags out the word, "Plus you need to rest for work tonight." Your shift lasts from 10 pm to 6 am. "Don't want you to tire yourself out."

She puts on a caring layer. You trust her but you don't like this form of parenting she's trying to do with you. 

"I'm not leaving them with our stuff. Go get the boys set up." You tell her as you head to the back of the trunk and open it. Maya opens the side door, grabbing two animal carriers. You can hear your dog barking, Maya’s cat was probably sleeping. The car smells of sulfur and you twitch your nose, adjusting your face mask. "You can go back to your house." You say to them right as Maya goes inside.

"We said we'd help, might as well." You weren't expecting the accent to come from the stalker with the mohawk. "I'm Soap." Soap, it was a strange nickname. "That's Ghost." He points to the stalker with the mask. 

Soap and Ghost. Your two witnesses to your moving in. The men who just stared.

They look familiar.

"I'm Kyle." He's hot. You're staring at him, fully aware of that. They're all hot. He holds out his hand and you shake it, not immediately repulsing at the touch which was strange. You say your name. "That's Price." He points to John.

"John Price..." You say his name aloud, "And here I thought you were just John." You told him, grabbing a box of books and shoving it into Kyle's arms. "Living room, next to the built-in bookcase by the sun nook."

You kept shoving the boxes into their arms, anxious every time you couldn't see one of them. Out of all four of them, Ghost made you the most uncomfortable. He wouldn't stop staring. And you told him as much when it came to an end.

"Do you stare because you plan to kill me or simply because you have issues?" Maya had insisted you'd walk them to their house despite it being right across from yours. She said it was the polite thing to do, and you told her that it was bullshit but you weren't going to argue against her and waste your energy on it. Ghost was the last to walk onto the porch, still not blinking. "If you are going to kill me, you will fail."

"Why did you move here?" He asks, and they are all staring.

"Learn to blink." You tell him, "You do not need to know why I am here. We are not friends, we are not gonna be friends, Maya is nice to you because she thinks you are attractive and I can see where it is coming from, but this thing you are doing, talking and trying to help out and telling me your nicknames."

You pause as you stare at Kyle's eyes.

"It's useless. I want nothing to do with you."

And Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick breaks inside.

"You are being too cruel to them," Maya says as you close the door. The house is soundproof, she made sure of it. She knows they can hear the conversation if they wanted to, which is why she had blocked off any possible sound to escape.

"How? They are being a nuisance-"

"They are men who found their mate. I've seen worse reactions when soulmates meet, surprised they haven't hugged you at all." Maya manipulates her fingers in the air as if she’s plucking a string, and she probably is through her eyes. Maya had always had a gift to see the bond between others, The Strings of Fate, a curse Zeus put on everyone eons ago. Theseus escaped the Minotaur with his thread that connected him to Ariadne, and it seemed Clotho had it in for you. It used to be that everyone could see their own String of Fate, until a few centuries ago when an argument broke out amongst the Gods. Now only a certain few could, and Maya was one of them. 

"If they did I would cut their cocks off." You cringe at the idea of touch. "I do not understand why you are defending them-"

"Because you are being an asshole!" Maya shouts and you turn away, rubbing at your nose as you let out a sigh.

"I understand why they are acting the way they are." Kyle's and Soap's puppy dog eyes almost broke you, they were too handsome. "But you understand why I am like this. It is better to tell them upfront is it not?"

"You haven't even given them a chance-"

"I am not leading them on. I am not manipulating them like I could. I do not want anything to do with them and you know that that is for the best." She says your name to stop you, and you're confused by it.

Why can't she admit to herself the truth? It happened to you just a couple of years ago and you were already over it, but yet she couldn't be?

"Maya," You look at her, "I do not have a soul. I can not feel what they feel. It is impossible for me to have soulmates."

It's confusing. When everything you thought you know changes. How a simple moment becomes so complicated. It's happened to Gaz a few times in his life, where he's had to change everything he's thought and adapt to the new.

You were supposed to be a woman.

He was supposed to be straight.

He never thought about people in a romantic sense. Sex was one thing, it's a way to release emotions and it's something fun. You didn't have to have an emotional tie with someone for it. But dating was separate. You had to let people in for that, to let them know the ugly parts of you and trust that they won't run.

You weren't supposed to run.

Gaz leaves first. He's the first to stop staring at the air, going into his room and immediately undressing. His mind is blank, running on instincts. The minute he’s done, he’s out the backdoor shifting. 

The pain of his bones breaking quickly disappears, but he welcomes it despite how little it was. He grows paws and fur all over his body, and goes back to his basic instincts.

He's gone for hours.

Price is the last to move. He's angry at you for everything you said, he’s half a mind to go into your house and just kidnap you.

Who were you to tell him what to do? You were a selfish human, completely unaware of everything they were willing to do for you. You had them on a leash, begging for scraps of attention that you were starving them for.

You hated him, and that made John angry. He wants to burn your house down and show you that you can't be safe without him, he wants to kill Maya, she took you from him.

From them.

He can hear the howls from Gaz and he grabs a bottle of Scotch from the cabinet. He chugs it down, it's not that hard to finish a drink, especially when you crave the burn of it. He wants to shift as well, but that would require ignoring his responsibilities. 

He wished he could show you what makes him right for you.

He just needed one night with you and he was sure he could change your mind. One bite and it was all over, you'd be stuck with him.

He lights a cigar and stays in the kitchen, quiet.

Stupid, foolish human. Weak, you were pathetic truly.

It was one thing to not like him, it was another to hurt his family.

He thinks that killing you would make it all go away. Ghost doesn't care that it would hurt him for eternity if he was to kill you, he's convinced he can do it and make his pack forget about you, whether it's with time or a witch.

He's convinced that he could get away with it. 

And then he remembers your heart beat and he can't. He knows he can't kill you. But he wishes it was that easy.

Instead of planning your demise, Ghost calls every contact he has looking for information about you. Looking for anything, and while he finds out your last name, he comes to realize that you did not exist 6 years ago.

And when he calls Laswell to question you, she insists he stops looking if he wants to stay safe.

He does not listen.

Soap thinks about every movement you make.

He convinces himself you're playing hard to get. That you like being chased after like a bunny.

His bunny, his defenseless mate who doesn’t know what was good for him.

You were ignorant, it was okay.

He could help you.

"Ah will protect ye mate. Yer mines bun." 

------

NEXT

Okay so maybe I wrote a bit longer. And yeah maybe the boys do seem out of character but literally they will not be like this long, it is just the idea that losing half of your soul makes you mad.

This is just chapter 3 and it's heavy with angst ig?? Um next chapter will definitely be lighter, and so will chapter 5. But hey I guess it's your decision to stick around for that long.

Also maya looks like Salma Hayek because that is a beautiful woman.

And I am not sure how to write Soap's dialect?? I'm trying my best I swear.

Also please leave comments and reblog, more interaction means more interest and I'll probably continue to write it.

[roosterforme]

Tramps and Troublemakers (Rooster x Reader)

Part of The What If Collection of blurbs for Roo and Baby Girl. Written for an ask. My masterlist. Banner by @mak-32

Warnings: angst and discussions of non-consensual kissing and touching (deals with the events from Deployment Diaries Part 9)

Tramp had been in the Craftsman for all of two hours before he was eating pieces of steak out of your hands. "He's so underfed," you whispered to Bradley who was adding water to some dog food in hopes that your newest family member would eat some of it, too. "After some food and a little bit of love, he'll be just fine. He's a little damaged, but he'll come around."

"You know," Bradley said, shaking his head, "it literally sounds like you're describing me."

"Do I need to give you a bath, too?" you asked him sweetly as you pet the dog. 

"I can do that much myself," he grumbled as he reached for his phone. "Let's facetime my parents. I want to rub it in since they never let me have a dog."

You were still in your uniform, and your hair was a mess from work, but Bradley was already calling Goose and Carole before you could even stop him. When his mom answered, the first thing she said was, "Sweet girl, you look beautiful! Are you two lovebirds going out tonight?"

But Bradley turned the phone away from your faces and aimed it at Tramp. "No. We're staying in with our new dog."

Carole seemed decidedly less enthusiastic about Tramp than she did about a night out for the two of you. "Oh. He's... cute. Looks a little sickly. Did you pay money for him?"

Bradley was laughing as he said, "No, mom. Natasha found him in a drainage ditch, and I pulled him out."

"What a hero," you added, kissing his cheek. 

"He's a stray?" Carole asked, looking scandalized. "He could have rabies."

You looked down to where Tramp's head was resting on your knee, big brown eyes looking back up at you like you hung the moon. "He doesn't have rabies!" Bradley replied, scratching the pup behind his ears. "Put dad on."

A second later, Goose was looking at Tramp and saying, "I don't know why your mom never let us get a dog. This one looks nice and loyal. Can't wait to meet him." And then Bradley's dad took your mind away from the pure happiness that was a dog in your lap and brought you back to reality. "Just a few more days until you deploy?"

"Yeah," Bradley told him. And then he kissed your forehead and stood with his phone. "I'll be right back," he told you, taking the phone outside. You didn't mind so much that he wanted to have a private conversation with his dad, but it left you curled up on the floor with your filthy dog. Bradley would be leaving for another deployment soon, and you hated the idea of it. 

-------------------------

You got drunk at the Hard Deck. It was Maria's birthday. You were supposed to be having a good time. But you missed Bradley too much, so you went outside to get some fresh air. Just a few more days without him. You could make it. Carole was flying out tomorrow morning to keep you company and see Bradley when he got home. 

And that's when Josh joined you out on the deck. And maybe you should have had your guard up, but he was your coworker. So you smiled at him, expecting to joke around like you normally did. But then he was kissing you and touching you under your dress, and you couldn't figure out how to make your body move. It was all wrong. So, so wrong.

Jake was there, and he managed to help you put a stop to it, but all you could hear in your head as he and Bob drove you home was everything Josh said to you. 

"I've been dying to do that for weeks. Haven't you? Couldn't wait to get you alone." 

"You've been leading me on the whole time I've been here!" 

"I can tell you want to fuck me."

You threw up on your front yard. You threw up everywhere. You were shaking, and it was so hard to breathe. "Bradley's going to be so mad at me," you said over and over again as tears streaked down your face. 

"Calm down, Angel," Jake said as he guided you toward the couch and got you a glass of water. Bob took Tramp out for a little walk to wear him out, and you drank with shaky hands. 

"He'll never trust me again, Jake." 

"He's better than all that, Angel." And maybe Bradley was. But you felt like you deserved a punishment worthy of your crime: you hadn't listened to Bradley and Jake when they tried to warn you. And now you felt dirty inside.

And then it dawned on you that Carole would be arriving at the San Diego airport in the morning, and your tears only got worse. You tried your best to go to sleep while Tramp curled up in bed with you.

--------------------------

You had aggressively scrubbed your skin twice. Once in the bath last night and again in the shower this morning. Your stomach and throat were aching from the tightness of your tears and the number of times you'd vomited. Bradley was never going to forgive you, and now you had to face his mom alone. 

According to Jake, Bob was on his way back from the airport with Carole. He was sitting with you on the couch, one arm wrapped around you where you were bundled in a blanket. And you were holding onto Tramp like he was the last lifeline you had to your normal life before Bradley went away.

There were voices on your front porch, and you sucked in a deep breath as your front door was pushed open wide. "If something bad happened to her, then I'll take care of it," Carole was saying to Bob, her voice more shrill than you'd ever heard it before. "Oh... sweet girl."

Your face crumpled again. You knew you looked terrible right now as you counted down the hours until Bradley returned and started freaking out at you. But Carole just looked back and forth between you and Jake together on the couch, and you wanted to tell her that you didn't have eyes for anyone except her son. But when Jake stood, you watched Carole kiss his cheek as he murmured, "Mrs. Bradshaw."

She was still looking at you as you tucked your head against Tramp's neck and cried. "You two boys are sweet. But sometimes you just need a mom. I'll call you both later."

"Yes, Ma'am," Jake and Bob said in unison, and Jake kissed your forehead before they both left. 

When the front door closed quietly behind them, you looked up to see Carole standing in front of you with her hands on her hips and a soft expression on her face.

You took a shaky breath and said, "I didn't mean for it to happen. Bradley is never going to forgive me." Your grip on Tramp tightened as he licked your face. And when Carole reached for you, he whined like he was trying to protect you.

"Well, first of all, clearly I judged Tramp a little too harshly. Looks like he's been taking good care of you," she said softly. And then she ran her hand gently along your cheek and wiped away your tears. "But second, oh my goodness... Bradley is in love with you. You spend five minutes talking to him, and he'll remind you how good he is. I'm sure of that. And this other character, the one you work with?" Carole shook her head, blue eyes shining bright with something like pride. "Let's just say Bradley's a lot like his father. And while I don't condone violence, there's something to be said about a man who protects his own. Your coworker shows up again while my son is around, and he's leaving in a right messy state, I don't care how big he is."

Then she knelt on the floor in front of you and let Tramp get used to her for a few seconds. Your voice sounded tiny as you said, "Bradley tried to warn me about him. So did Jake." You squeezed your eyes shut. "I thought they were both being overbearing. And now I have to live with the knowledge of what it feels like to have Josh touch me and hold me down while he kissed me."

You gasped for air as Carole pried your hands gently away from Tramp's fur. Her voice was calm, and her face serene as she spoke. "He touched you. And he kissed you. But if he hit you or touched you in an intimate place, then I think you should let me take you to the hospital."

"He didn't," you whispered, so thankful that Jake was there last night. "He didn't. God, if he had, then Bradley would definitely dump me and kick me out."

"I think you're wrong about that," Carole told you, collecting you into her arms. "But I sure am happy you don't have to find out. Now let's get you in the bath and get a good meal in you."

You nodded and let her fill the bathtub and help you undress. And Tramp sat on the bathmat while you enjoyed the feel of the warm water taking the chill away from your body. And you thought about Bradley coming home soon. If his own mother thought he'd hear you out and listen to what happened, then maybe he would. He'd been the perfect boyfriend up to this point.

Carole knocked and poked her head back in. "Just checking on you," she said with a soft smile. 

"You can come in," you told her. "You don't have to knock. You just saw me naked. And anyway, I'm really happy you're here." Tears filled your eyes again, but for a different reason now. 

"Oh, sweet girl, this is your house, not mine," she said, kissing you on the cheek. "Yours and Bradley's. And Tramp's, since he's been such a good boy." You watched your dog's tail as it thumped against the floor. "But I'm happy I'm here, too. Because I get to spend a little time with you. And then when Bradley gets home, you'll be feeling much, much better. I just know it. Now, what do you want in your omelette?"

You smiled and told her, and she promised it would be ready in fifteen minutes. And once you were dressed in Bradley's shirt and some sweatpants, you were feeling a lot better. And you were able to eat your breakfast. And Carole's voice in the house kept you calm. And you weren't as scared to face Bradley as you had been a few hours ago.  

[kitchenisking]

It's January and the new year has started! I hope everyone had a great new year and that 2024 bring only good things our way! and please remember to leave a kudos and some love in the comments to our amazing writers in this amazing fandom! love you guys😘

Children's Tales by artemis69 - (Rating: G, Words: 4,690, sterek)

Be careful, little girl. 

Don’t go causing troubles in Beacon Hills, little girl, because the Hales live there. 

Keep away from Beacon Hills, little girl, or the Hales will destroy you.

-- Or: In a world where the Hales are alive and the protectors of the town of Beacon Hills, the humans politely fake ignorance of their not-really-human status, and they all live happily ever after.

Then Kate comes in. 

Well. 

Tries to.

in the waiting room by CoraRochester, ravenclawkward - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 29,753, sterek)

“So, uh,” Stiles said, peeling the crust away from his toast. It was barely darkened, smeared thickly with butter and orange marmalade, just like he always liked it. “I have tattoos, which is weird, because I’m like, clinically terrified of needles. Swooning, fainting, the whole nine yards.”

That made the corner of Derek’s mouth lift into something like a small smile before it quickly smoothed out flat and neutral again. “I know,” Derek said, lifting up his fork. Stiles looked at the back of Derek’s hand and saw it was dark with ink—an elaborate full moon, stark on Derek’s skin. “I did them.”

…

In which Stiles has amnesia and falls in love with his husband all over again.

Sweet Tooth by Spikedluv  - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 24,866, sterek)

Derek Hale had returned to Beacon Hills and the ice cream place was reopening. “Best. Day. Ever,” Stiles told Scott.

Lessons in Humanity by exclamation - (Rating: Mature, Words: 40,234, sterek)

Fleeing from werewolves, Stiles comes face to face with Derek, a werewolf human in shape but animal in his mind. Stiles is terrified of being killed, but it seems Derek has decided Stiles would make a suitable mate. Unfortunately, his idea of a romantic gift is a dead animal on the doorstep. Stiles must help Derek remember what it is to be human... and figure out how to explain his new werewolf stalker to his dad.

Happiness is Effortless by clotpolesonly - (Rating: G, Words: 5,210, sterek)

Derek just wanted an excuse to run out on his date. A very public fight with the fiance he didn't know he had is not exactly what he was expecting, but he'll take it.

come with me by buckysharons - (Rating: Mature, Words: 2,657, sterek)

Derek turns his head to the loft door, messily shoving whatever he could into the large bag. He’d rearrange everything on his property in New York. In another loft, but one much nicer, one cleaned with his parents money. 

There’s a slam of a door, a slam filled with so much anger it makes Derek jump, alarmed. 

“You’re leaving?” Stiles roars. He’s not angry, no. He’s hurt. Derek could sense it on him and he had no idea why. 

He puts on the brooding mask he always seemed to have on, but this time was different. Stiles could see right through him. Though something tells Derek that Stiles has been able to see through it for a while now. 

“Why are you leaving?” Stiles continues, giving Derek no room for him to explain himself. He demands an answer. Like he’s done everything to deserve it. 

Which he has. 

“I can’t stay,” Derek says vaguely, swallowing. 

Stiles didn’t- he couldn’t take that.

Next To You (You Tell Me What To Do) by mercury_caduceus - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 6,175, sterek)

"Derek had barely noticed that he was still kneeling in a foot of water. His knees were sore and he was freezing but none of that mattered. Not now. Not when Boyd’s lifeless body was laying in front of him, his blood still on Derek’s hands. Cora was sobbing and clinging to Boyd, making his heart break even more. He hadn’t thought that was possible, Boyd had become one of his best friends and now he had killed him. He closed his eyes, he couldn’t keep looking at the body laying in front of him. Stiles hand on his shoulder was the only thing keeping him from completely falling apart, but he knew he was about to snap." ---- Stiles helps Derek after Boyd dies.

After the Smoke Clears by sffan - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 3,062, sterek)

Stiles needs a peaceful space. Derek gives him what he needs.

Alchemy of Attraction by ravenclawkward, wanderingeyre - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 15,893, sterek)

Once the table is set up, Stiles picks up the box and starts pulling out beakers, a hot plate, some Erlenmeyer flasks, a bunsen burner, and a bunch of other equipment and laying them out on the table. The last things to come out of the box are sealed containers with labels.

Derek is starting to get a very bad feeling about this.

Frogs? by Itsreallyjustforresearch83 - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 10,694, sterek)

“Catching frogs? This far into the pack lands? I’ll give you five seconds to tell me the truth before I rip your throat out. What is it that you want?”

“YOU! Alright?! I want you!”

[thefallennightmare]

Miracle-two

(gif created by me, the fallen nightmare. feel free to use, simply give credit)

Pairings: Noah Sebastian x Reader

Warnings/Tropes: forced proximity, slight enemies to lovers, slow burn, smut, angst, fluff, mentions of death, and swearing.

Summary: Reader is the merch girl for Bad Omens. It wasn't what she wanted to do with her life but when her mother got sick with Alzheimer's, reader took a job where she could to help with the costs. She thought it would be a one-time gig but the longer she was on the road with them, the harder she fell for Noah Sebastian; even if he wanted nothing to do with her. She needed a miracle to save her mom and her future.

Authors Note: Tags are open if anyone is interested!

Tags: @ada-clarence @nonamessblog @thescarlettvvitch @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @theoneandonlykymberlee @yumikitten @blackveilomens @cherrymedicine13

"How is she?"

I clutched my phone between my shoulder and ear as I carried the box of merch to the table that was set up inside the venue.

"This morning was rough, but we managed."

"Yeah it was like that the other night," I sighed.

Three days ago, after I came home to the lingering smell of gas in the house, I decided that no matter how much it cost I would hire a live-in nurse to stay with my mom while I was on the road. It would only be for one month then once the tour was over, I would quit and find a job that let me be home with her. That night, I woke up in the middle of the night from screaming coming from the front yard and that's where I found my mom only wearing her underwear standing in the middle of the yard. It was cold and her blue lips were trembling, guilt ate away at me because I didn't know how long she was out there. I think she must have been in a catatonic state and woke herself out of it with her screams.

Then the night before I left for tour, I woke up to my mom looming over me in my bed with a bat clutched tightly in her hands. She didn't recognize me and threatened to beat me with the bat if I didn't get out of her house. It took a soft voice and calmness but I coaxed her back into bed, the fear of my life eating away at my insides.

Of course, when I hired the nurse, I was one hundred percent upfront with her about all the bad. The nurse, Lana, never cringed or ran out like I thought she would. She was a few years younger than my mom and worked with Alzheimer's patients for longer than I'd been alive. She was used to patients like this; it wasn't anything she couldn't handle. Which is why in one week, I needed to send her first paycheck.

$850.

Every week, for five weeks.

It may have not seemed like a lot but for someone who struggles to pay their bills already, it was a lot. My pay for being a merch girl barely covered it and I didn't get paid until the tour ended. To say I was stressing about how to pay Lana was an understatement.

"She's resting in her room right now." Lana's voice brought me back to our conversation.

I chewed roughly on my bottom lip. "Is the door locked?"

"Don't worry, dear. I'll take good care of your mother while you're gone. Enjoy the time away."

"Please call me for anything, no matter the time," I stressed while letting the box fall to the floor at my feet.

The sound echoed through the room and I waved off the stares from Davis and Matt, who looked at me with raised brows. Lana and I talked for a few more moments before I reluctantly hung up, knowing I had to get to work. Noah was already upset with me being late getting to the venue, the last thing I needed was to get caught slacking off. It took me a long while to gain the courage to leave my mom, much to the pushing from Lana, and I ended up missing the call time for the bus to leave. I texted Davis an emergency came up and I would take a cab to the first city. It was only two hours away but the hole that burned in my wallet because of how much it cost continued to gnaw away at me.

So instead of dwelling on it, I focused my attention on getting my area set up. The table with our credit card machine, a jar for tips, and then the fence-like wall where I'd hang up every merch that we had while the boxes lined the floor at my feet. I set my area up on the other end of the ballroom where the guys would perform in which meant I could watch their set. It was like that sometimes but other times, I would be placed outside the room and wouldn't get to watch; not that I ever cared too in the past. It was our first show of the tour and I wanted everything to look perfect, not giving a reason for anyone to get upset with me being late.

No one cared, I knew that, but the nagging voice in my brain wouldn't shut up.

"Need any help?"

Turning on my heels, I gave a small smile to Bryan and shook my head. "I'm all finished, thank you though."

He returned my smile with one of his own, his camera slung around his neck. "Mind if I snap a few pics?"

"Not at all," I shook my head. "Just don't get any of me, I haven't showered yet."

Since I was late, I had the cab driver drop me off at the venue, not having time to check into the hotel we would stay at tonight to shower. Our next show was in two days about ten hours away so we weren't in a rush to get there.

Bryan chuckled while snapping a few pictures of the merch area.

"Well, I'm sure you can sneak away for a bit."

I groaned, the thought of a shower making me smile. "Tell Matt if he needs me to text me?"

With a quick wave goodbye, I gathered my things and quietly slipped away from the hustle and bustle of everyone setting up for the show.

With the two trays full of coffee in my hands, I entered the venue through the back way and made my way towards the ballroom where I knew everyone would be. I was only gone for less than two hours, using that time to get a quick nap and freshen up for tonight. Davis texted me a long order of coffee, almost everyone wanting some sort of caffeine. Thankfully, he also sent me the money to cover paying for it.

I made some small talk as I handed Matt, Bryan, and Davis their coffee. Ruffilo and Folio came by to grab their orders while Jolly, who opted out of coffee with a shake of his head.

"Who's the last coffee for?" I asked.

"Noah," Jolly answered. "He's up on stage if you want to bring it to him."

I'd rather pour this hot coffee over my head than go talk to him.

I haven't seen him since I got the call from the fire department. He over heard the conversation, knowing something happened with my mom, but I didn't know if he would bring it up. Hopefully, he'll take his coffee and go back to whatever he was doing.

"Sure," I forced a smile on my face.

With his coffee in hand, I walked up onto the stage where I saw Noah standing looking over to the empty floor. Hearing me walk up, he peered over his shoulder at me. I did my best to not to gawk at his bare tattooed arms; the muscles tensing under his white tank top.

"Your coffee," I raised it towards him.

As he took it, our fingers brushed and the spark that shot through me made my toes curl. If Noah felt it too, he gave nothing away. With my back turned to him, I was about to walk away when his voice halted me.

"How's your mom?"

That's a loaded question.

"Uh, she's fine," I did my best to have a straight face, not wanting to give anything away. "She locked herself out of the house the other day and tried getting in through a window. A neighbor thought she was breaking in."

I was shocked in myself at how easily I came up with that lie.

"Good," Noah nodded.

Silence fell between us for a few beats and deciding that the conversation was over, I walked back over to the merch stand doing my best to ignore the burning gaze at my back as footsteps followed close. Noah was following me not stopping when we reached the merch stand.

"What are you doing?" I asked when I saw him riffling through one of the open boxes on the floor.

His eyes roamed over me, taking in every inch of me with his static gaze then pulled out a shirt and handed it to me. When I didn't take it, confused on his actions, he let out an annoyed breath.

"Either you change into this shirt or I'll do it for you, angel and I don't think you want others to see you," Noah said nodding to the group of guys a few feet away from us.

My cheeks burned hot as the blush spread everywhere over my skin because of that damn pet name. But I still didn't take the shirt from him, unsure why he wanted me to change.

"You never cared before if I wore one of your shirts during a show," I pointed out.

He shrugged. "Be a good girl and go change."

The way something rushed straight to my core shocked me. I never thought being called a good girl would turn me on the way it just had.

Licking my lips, something Noah watched intently, I carefully took the shirt from him and stalked over to the bathrooms to change.

Holy shit.

The ballroom was fucking packed, and I was running around like a madwoman at the merch stand for the last two hours. The openers finished their set, Bad Omens coming on soon, which meant everyone wanted to grab the last bit of merch before. I was so busy I barley had time to stop for two seconds to take a drink of water, something Jolly dropped off undetected by the fans before he went to the green room in the back.

"Here ya go. Enjoy the show tonight!" I gave a smile as I handed two shirts and a sweater to the couple in front of me.

With the few seconds I had between customers, I took a large gulp of water then made work of grabbing a ski mask and a shirt. It went on like this for another twenty minutes until darkness cascaded over the room, the opening sequences of Bad Omens set echoing around us. Finally, having more than two minutes for a break, I sat down on the table and took a deep breath. I pulled out my phone to send a quick text to Lana.

She didn't call which meant good news but that didn't stop me from checking in.

Your mom is fine, dear. I'll have her call you in the morning. I think hearing your voice might help her remember you.

After I responded, I shoved my phone back into my pocket and busied myself by cleaning up around my station as Bad Omens played their set. I didn't bother packing up because I knew once the show ended, more people would line up for merch. Before and after the show is the busiest time for merch. Every once in a while, I would watch Noah stomp, dance, and come alive on the stage as he sang or screamed his lyrics. By now he had lost the ski mask and jacket, donning his black cargo pants and black tank top. As much as seeing him in that mask made my pussy clench, seeing him in this outfit practically made me whine with want.

I'd been attracted to guys in the past, hooking up with a few but had nothing serious. Noah, however, was different. I'd never been this infatuated with someone even though he could be a dick to me sometimes.

No, don't think about his dick.

I shook those thoughts out of my head, not wanting to go down that dark tunnel of thoughts, and texted Davis wondering if he could cover me for a few minutes so I could go to the bathroom. Instead of responding, he showed up two minutes later with a smile.

"I'll even give you five minutes for a break," he said.

"My hero," I called out over the sudden screams while rolling my eyes.

Once in the somewhat quietness of the hallway, I stood there for a few seconds taking a deep breath. My ears rang from the screams and loud music so this bit of solace was nice; until I saw the line for the bathroom. Even with Bad Omens playing, it didn't stop people from rushing to the bathroom.

I knew there was one in the green room so turning around; I followed down the long hallway before slipping behind a door at the end. It was way quieter back here, a soft thump of the bass banging against the wall as I walked into the green room, feet halting when I noticed Noah in there alone, throwing back a water bottle in one large gulp. It was at the point of the show where they had a few minutes intermission.

"Who's at the table?" He asked breathless.

Ignoring how his skin glistened under the light, I pursed my lips. "Davis. I just need to use the bathroom but the line for the one in the hallway is insane."

Noah nodded before tossing the bottle in the garbage and I walked passed him towards the bathroom but his fingers grazed over the inside of my wrist, stopping me. I stared down where our skin touched then back up to his face. He said nothing, simply brushed a strand of hair away that fell into my eyes, his fingers lingering on the skin behind my ear. Having him this close to me was enveloping my senses; I could think straight and his scent was deep in my bones. My breath hitched at how close we were and if I didn't know any better, I thought he was going to lean in to kiss me until a persistent knock pounded on the door.

"Noah! Let's go, we're going to miss our mark!" Jolly's voice rang out as he opened the door.

The speed that Noah pushed away from me made my stomach drop. He clearly didn't want to get caught touching me.

Jolly looked between Noah and I. "Am I interrupting-."

"No," Noah shook his head, not letting Jolly finish. "I was grabbing something to drink. Ready?"

As fast as Noah moved away from me, I was alone in the room just staring at the ground below my feet.

"What the fuck was that?" I grumbled, forgetting the whole reason I came in here.

[deeptrashwitch]

A Haunting Past (part 13)

This is the last appearence of Aly (@alypink OC) and the WTF (@islandtarochips OCs) until the end of this serie! So thank you so much for letting me include your OCs here, queridas! They were so funny to write and made the story a lot more dinamic :3 LOVE YOU!!

Also, as usual, thanks and a shout out to my bestie @islandtarochips for being my beta reader. You're marvelous 💖💖

Taglist: @alypink @stuffireadandenjoy @snootlestheangel @islandtarochips @raresvtm

@piouswolf @midnight193 @mutantthedark @justasmolbard @welldonekhushi

@tapioca-milktea1978 @imagoddamnonionmason

Tw: This part has no triggers! So it's safe to read, enjoy it ^^

Alicia was sitting behind her desk, her mind once again going through all the possibilities about Artemis' death. With a long sigh she passed a hand down her face, bouncing her leg out of pure stress. As she leaned against her chair the silence became unbearable and again her thoughts went over and over everything. Especially William's cause of death.

Haloperidol. An antipsychotic used for many illnesses, two of them are schizophrenia and panic disorder. It only made her remember the last time she spoke with William, he told her about his diagnosis of severe panic disorder and it only made her wonder one thing. Who else knew? No matter how long she thought about it, there was no way William's wife or kids did that…then who?

Soon Wraith called her back to reality. It was time for the WTF, Aly and Lily to go back to their homes. In silence Alicia nodded and went to the yard with her sunglasses covering her tired eyes. She managed to smile a bit as she shook hands with Agnes, Nigel and Aelan, noticing that her team basically monopolized them to chat for a while before they headed towards the airport. Then she looked at Aly, Lily, Kanoa and Tiala as she tried to smile more when she noticed how they were already exchanging their goodbyes.

She hugged Aly first and poked Lily's cheek. "Thanks for everything, Aly. Come back whenever you have the chance to visit. My doors are always open for you and Lily."

"Maybe when everything is done, okay?" Aly said with a soft smile. "Take care, Licia, you're doing great."

"Thank you…"

After that the Humvee that came for Aly and Lily left Black Tomb. For a second she didn't move, then she went to speak with Tiala and Kanoa. She hugged Tiala tightly as she thanked her for coming to help.

"Don't thank me, that's part of our work." She said jokingly before leaning back as she gave the Captain a small and friendly smile. "Also, what are friends for? I'm happy we could help even for just a little bit."

Alicia smiled a bit. "You helped us more than you think. WAY more."

"Good to know, Licia. By the way, are you okay? You seem tired, more than usual."

"I'll be fine," Alicia said as she looked away, "don't worry, Tia, it's just…a memory."

Tiala looked at her worried. "I see. I hope you find some rest and peace soon."

"...I hope the same. I'll keep you informed if anything happens." 

"Yeah, thanks. Take care, seriously." 

Alicia nodded and then looked at Kanoa, who simply hugged her in silence. For a minute they stayed like that and Alicia didn't say anything as a tear ran down her face.

"Please, Licia…if anything happens…you can always call me or Tia." Kanoa said softly, tightening the hug.

"I will." She promised as she closed her eyes. "I just need time to sort this out but don't worry, I don't intend to give up on anything now."

"Lelei..."

Alicia scoffed and smiled sadly. "Sorry for worrying you, Noa."

"Don't say sorry. Just get well soon."

"I will, I promise."

Then they broke the hug and Alicia stared down as the two vehicles that transported the WTF also left the base. In silence, the smile on her face disappeared and her shoulders fell with tiredness. At the same time, Wraith impulsed herself off the wall she was leaning into and walked towards the tiring Captain.

"You can't keep doing this." Dominique said with a sigh. 

"If it's for the clash of interests-"

"It's not that. I see how tired you are. Since Brazil you've been going on without rest and being stress of all of this. This isn't helping."

"So what? You'll send me to medical leave as the Marines did?" Alicia asked bitter and rudely. "Am I that discardable?"

"Alicia…"

Then she sighed and put a hand over her face. "I'm sorry, I…"

"...Take a rest, at least two or three days. Go home."

"I guess it's for the best, huh?"

"For your health."

Alicia nodded and simply looked at where her team was. "Luke, you're in charge while I'm gone."

"Alicia? Are you going somewhere?" Luke asked, surprised as he looked at his Captain.

"I'll go home for a few days. Please keep the base running, yeah?" 

"Uh, yeah, sure." 

"Thanks, boy."

And like that Alicia left Black Tomb that same night towards her parents' ranch. Once there, she put on a good face as she hugged her mom and helped her dad inside his workshop. Trying to keep up with the jokes as she was thankful that her siblings weren't there. 

And once the night arrived. She found herself inside the same room she stayed in during that year she was out. 

She left the bag over the bed and in the middle of the silence and the darkness, she sighed heavily as the thoughts started again. However, this time she wasn't wondering about anything. Now she simply started to laugh in silence as she felt her blood boil and as soon she saw the damn badge of that operation. Something snapped. A deadly anger crossed her face in a second.

With a rageful scream, she threw down everything over her desk and her breathing became shallow. In the middle of her anger, she kicked her chair and broke a leg of it before throwing the stupid badge against the wall. She calmed down after a while and she stared at the disaster inside that room, just to feel disgust.

It was like those days when she was back from Angola. It felt like she was that version of herself that she tried to hide. The remains of the Guardian she once was.

"Oh God…what am I doing?" She whispered as she let herself collapse on the floor. 

In silence she hugged her knees while the silence took over again and the mess that was around her stayed still. She denied herself to break or even to admit what she really wanted. It wasn't the time and neither a good idea for her to do.

Days passed and Alicia received some little updates from Luke about Black Tomb but nothing big. She left her phone over her desk before going outside as she sat under a tree and closed her eyes with a long sigh. For a while she stayed like that before the sound of soft crunch on the grass caught her attention and it made her open her eyes. When she straightened up a bit, her eyes widened.

"Alejo?" She asked surprised.

He smiled sadly. "Hey amor. I hope I'm not late or arriving on a bad moment?" 

"No, I…was just taking a break from work, that's all." 

"Good to know."

He sat beside her and they didn't say a word for a moment.

"I assume you have an answer, right?" Alicia asked.

"Yeah."

"Y'know, I get it. I kinda know what you're gonna say and…I can't blame you. I'd leave too." Alicia said with her voice broken and almost on the verge of tears.

"I'm not leaving."

"What?" 

"My answer is still the same as I gave you once." He said as he gave her a soft expression before cupping her face. "No matter what you did or what you have done. I'll stay."

Alicia shook her head as she closed her eyes and cried in silence. "You…you don't even know what's going on inside my head. The kind of thoughts I have."

"I will stay anyway." 

"I might lose myself in all of this."

"I won't let you."

"There might be a point when I'll become a monster, y'know?"

Alejandro cleaned her tears gently. "You aren't a monster, I don't think you'll ever be. I'm sorry I wasn't here earlier…"

Alicia started to choke on a sob before hugging Alejandro as she rested her head against his chest. She started to cry. All the stress, the pain, the sadness and the fear she felt slowly started to bubble up as she cried. Meanwhile Alejandro just held her in silence, feeling impotence as he saw all the pain his lover had endured all this time. For a while they stayed in that position until Alicia ran out of tears and just looked at Alejandro with her red puffy eyes from crying.

"I'm quite curious about something." Alejandro asked cautiously.

Alicia sighed and smiled tiredly. "Is it about Firewall?" 

"More or less, I just need to understand how you came to that point." 

"Remember when we first broke up?" 

"I do. You had an offer and I assume it was for the 267."

She nodded calmly as she stared at the landscape. "As I became a Sergeant, I was offered a place inside the 267. I was really happy about that."

"Yeah, I bet you were really excited."

"Almost as much as you when you were accepted into the Los Vaqueros too."

"True, we were both really excited. It…feels like a long time ago."

"It was a long time ago." Alicia said with a tired chuckle.

Alejandro smiled softly. "...How was the 267?" 

"They…they were amazing. We were some of the best Marines across the US. At least in the continental US." She said with a sad tone of voice. "I arrived while Artemis was Captain and Deepwater was Lieutenant, they were good leaders."

"Artemis? Deepwater?" Alejandro asked confusingly. Since he never heard of those names before.

"William was Artemis, he got the nickname because of his aim. The bastard was a grumpy asshole and he made us train until we almost collapsed. He was…the one that encouraged me to volunteer for the Lanceros course, I mean, I had the idea but he gave me the last push, y'know?"

"He sounds like a good man."

"He was. And well, Oliver is Deepwater because of his apnea record. We met inside the 267 and we became friends soon enough. He has always been mysterious and cynical too, but always had a good joke or some snarky comment to make." Alicia said with a sad smile. "When he became Captain…he became a bit colder, but other than that, he was the same."

"Was? Like, in the past?" 

Alicia sighed and closed her eyes, leaning her back against the tree. "After Operation Firewall and the case Broken Statue, he blamed me for letting my people die. And honestly? For a while I agreed, and he became colder and more resented against me by the day."

"I see."

"He still is cold because of what happened, maybe also because William died and I wasn't there to even say goodbye."

Alejandro nodded and sighed softly. "Alicia, I just want to know something more."

"Shoot."

"If you find out who betrayed you, what will you do?"

"Honestly……I have no idea." Alicia admitted with a sigh, "For so much time I thought I'd feel AFRAID of ever knowing, but…"

"But?"

"I'm ANGRY…to a point I think I might be able to kill that person if I ever learn who it was. And yet, at the same time I feel like it wouldn't be the right thing to do."

"Would you forgive them?" 

"No, I'll never. But I don't think I'll kill them myself either. I have so much to lose."

Alejandro nodded in silence and simply hugged her gently, to which she just leaned against him with a sigh. Soon Andrea, Alicia's mom, poked her head outside of the house looking for Alicia.

"Oh, sorry if I interrupted." She said with a chuckle. "But your phone's ringing, Andina, seems urgent." 

Alicia frowned slightly. "Uh, did you see if the number was private or had a name, mom?" 

"It said Deepwater, does it ring a bell?”

“Actually, it does.” Alicia murmured confused, then looked at Alejandro. “Sorry cariño, you mind if I-?”

Alejandro nodded. “No worries, go ahead.”

Alicia smiled and kissed his forehead before heading inside. Once inside the house, she took her phone and frowned slightly at the number. She was quite confused seeing that it was Oliver, from all the people, who was calling her. Despite that, she answered.

“Hello?”

“Captain Marchant.” Oliver said, a bit irritated. “I assume you’re free right now?”

“Yes, sir.” She answered a bit tensely. “I’m on a little leave right now.”

“Good, I hope you have time to spare me and speak, Captain?”

Alicia was weirded out for the sudden request. “Sir…?”

Oliver sighed and his tone changed, to one that Alicia hadn’t heard in a long time. “Please, Alicia, we really need to speak. And this is as an old friend more than as your superior.”

“I’m not anywhere near Camp Lejeune.”

“That won’t be needed, I’m in Texas, in Arlington to be specific. Can we meet and get a drink?”

Alicia doubted for a second. “How long will you stay?”

“Two days more.”

“Let’s meet tomorrow.”

“Marvelous, we have a lot to discuss together. See you soon, Alicia, looking forward to it.” Oliver said kindly before hanging up the call.

When it finished, Alicia stayed there for a second with mixed feelings. On one hand, it was weird hearing Oliver being so civil and kind to her. But on the other hand, it just reminded her of the old days, the good ones. For a second she tried to understand what he would want to speak about, but…she really had no clue. She just needs to be patient and find out tomorrow.

[max-nico]

Super_Charlie_001

Am I (32M) the asshole for declaring a hero of our village (16M) my new nemesis?

This all started around 4 years ago. I live in a small secluded village on the coast, I'm talking about less than 100 people living here. We all do our part to keep our little town running and at this stage in my life I had just become our Village Fruit Carrier (a very important job to have). The job wasn't the most fulfilling, but it got food on the table and it was how I met my wife, so I have a bit of a soft spot for it. Anyway, the 'hero of the village' (let's call him Red) and he got me FIRED from my job. why? Because he just couldn't stop himself from stealing my baskets, dumping out my fresh clean fruit all over the ground, using my baskets as stilts, and then disappearing right before my boss came out to check on me. In the kids defense, he's a little... Slow, so I really didn't hold it against him too much. Especially because after getting fired from that job I managed to land my absolute dream job around 6 months later. I really felt like it was fate or something. I was happy, my wife was happy, everything was good.

This brings us up to speed basically.

Recently, Red got me fired AGAIN years later from my wonderful job. I worked as an archeologist/excavator and made good money doing it, especially since our little town is built on top of ancient ruins and tech nobody's really seen before. Apparently Red wasn't trying to get me fired, he was genuinely trying to make up for making me lose my job the first time. At first he seemed a little dimwitted, but well meaning so I didn't have much of a problem letting him stick around, but I also didn't have much of a backbone at the time either.

Then things got worse, between him picking up important artifact markers, breaking multiple artifacts, breaking one of my toes, and even throwing my lunch away, I just couldn't handle it. One night, he even showed up at my house before I got home and made friends with my wife, and despite telling her I was uncomfortable she let him stay. So I'm sure you guys can tell, by this point I'm boiling with rage. This kid just cannot take a hint and I have had it up to here with him.

Then all hell breaks loose. He somehow manages to brush an artifact just right, causing a laser to fire and destroy an entire dig site filled to the brim with things we haven't even begun to study. Then he has the audacity to yell at my boss for yelling at me and gets me FIRED!!! AGAIN!!! THEN HE CALLS MY WIFE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!!! AND SHE THROWS ME OUT!!!

At this point he can't just be dumb right? This has to be malicious. So I freak out at him, and do you know what he says? "Don't worry. I'll make it up to you, just as soon as I'm done making it up to you for the other thing I did." Wtf.

So I start to torment the guy. Can you really blame me? I go back to my old job and dig around for the old mech suits the ancients had lying around, like huge rocky things that shoot fire and laser and all types of things. I only use it to do things like steal his lunch money and knock him around at first, nothing super out there just protocol villain stuff.

So Red starts acting like I'M the crazy one after this. He acts like HE'S been the bigger person when he's the one who made me this way. He even made me a pie (which I shoved in his face of course), and I proclaimed myself a supervillain, and by proxy his nemesis. The whole village even gathered around to watch our fight, I felt like I was a cool kid in a school yard, and it was objectively the best feeling I've ever had.

Unfortunately I lost, not without a fight but still. Now the entire village is weird towards me (except my wife who took me back because she was proud of me for getting a new job and also a backbone) and they all act like I'm some lunatic just because I tried to destroy ONE GUY!!! so aita?

EDIT 1: Yes not even Dr.Eggman knows how this tech works I live like a couple miles away from the guy. Trust me I've asked

EDIT 2: Why does everyone know this guy and his friends? Are they famous or something?

EDIT 3: I found out that Sonic the Hedgehog, my nemesis, and their friends, are actually the heroes of Mobius and not just the heroes of my village. Small world I guess.

[sunset-peril]

Present and Future

"Good morning, Princess!"

Zelda's smile, a wonder significantly more common in the modern age, shone through the early morning fog. "Welcome back to Hateno, Purah! It's wonderful to see you again." A tiny hand stretched out from the sling cradled against her chest. 

“Aw, is that the baby?!” At Zelda's approval, Purah peeked inside the cloth to see a golden baby stretching. “Oh, She's gotten so big since I last saw her.” 

“She's got her father's snout…” Zelda chuckled, lifting a tiny wrist. “And his paws, too. It's fascinating! The traits that dictate the brunt of the Wolfbred tribe's differences from Hylians would appear to be dominant in a first-generation hybrid!” Her voice fell off for a few awkward seconds before her grip tightened on the baby's small wrist. 

“What's wrong?”

“Just… we almost lost her so many times…  more times than I can count on my hands…” 

Purah gripped Zelda's shaking hand with her's. “But you didn't. Despite all odds, she made it. She was born healthy and happy, and she's thriving now. Her Papa was a significantly riskier baby, and he made it through! She's fine, Zelda.”

Tears Zelda didn't even know were forming creeped out the corners of her eyes as she looked down at the little one snuggled against her chest. Purah was right. Despite the sheer number of near-misses Zelda's pregnancy carried, both Zelda and Zelda Ivee made it to the other side alive. She was a miracle in so many ways, and now her parents got to cherish her instead of fretting about her survival. 

“Speaking of her papa, where is good ol’ Linky?” 

A laugh finally broke across Zelda’s burdened visage. “Come with me.” With a light beckon of the hand, she led Purah across the village to the Great Ton Pu Inn. 

By the time they'd reached the small two-pot cooking station, Purah could see the form of a blond man laying underneath the inn's balcony. She chuckled as Zelda climbed the first small flight of the Inn's stairs to sit next to the tiny sapling near Link's head. “He's prepared for rain, now isn't he?” 

“Yes,” Zelda gently reached underneath the balcony and brushed a yellow butterfly off Link's nose. “He's hunkered down, as they say, for a long nap.”  

“Does he normally sleep outside the house?”

“Outside of the house’s actual footprint, you mean? Yes, he does spend a lot of time sleeping outside the house. If you mean whether he sleeps a lot off of our property, then it depends. If I’m at home then he’ll usually stay around there too.” She chuckles, stroking her daughter’s head while admiring her husband. “On the ground level to the second floor if it’s sunny, under the roof between the two second-floor windows if it’s rainy, somewhere out in the yard if he’s not feeling too great. When he gets really anxious, I’ve even seen him climb up onto the pergola over the door and lay down there! Really, wherever he can get to that doesn’t cross the bridge. If I’m out amongst the town, then he could really be found sleeping anywhere between the Ginner Woods and Hateno Bay. Although, while I’m working he usually hangs out either at home or at the school. He doesn’t tend to wander much then. He seems to prefer locations resembling a kind of open-air stall, with a roof but no walls. I built him a little hutch on the eastern side of the house near the big tree recently, for when he starts having joint trouble and can’t get up to his more preferred spots as easily.” 

“Yes, he is getting older… Do you have a reason to think he’ll start having problems soon? There’s still a whole decade before Link’s officially a senior Wolfbred.” 

She sighed, reaching under again to brush hair out of Link’s sleeping face, a somber expression glimmering as she viewed the faint markings present on Link’s forehead, as well as his multitude of facial scars. “I’m really worried about his right leg. That ball joint was a concern for the medical staff even before the Calamity… I guess I’m just worried about dysplasia. And those super small joints he’s got in his knees, Father always said they were a poster case for early arthritis. He really abused that right knee as a knight, so I’m worried it’s not going to last much longer.” She shook her head and forced a laugh. “I really shouldn’t worry too much, he just turned nineteen.” 

Purah laughed, disturbing Link slightly. “We did just celebrate good ol’ Linky, didn't we?” She smiled as Link's snorts returned to soft snores. “Is he in any pain? If he doesn't seem to be hurting yet, I'd say just make sure he's not jumping off things for now. The researcher in me wants to get a good look at his bones and joints, but I know better than to try and pat him down while he's sleeping. Lasli's still got that scar.” 

“Link doesn't seem to be in any pain per se. He seems a little uncomfortable in the humidity, but not pained.” 

“Well, my knees are uncomfortable in the humidity, and I was six until recently. He'd probably have to get looked at. Which he won't like.”

“No… no he will not.” Zelda repositioned the cloth cradle around her chest so that the little pup didn't squirm away from her, Zelda Ivee didn't seem to take her mother's security very well and began to fuss. “Hopefully, being in Hateno with the other wolfbred will make Link less fussy. I really don't need to manage him on top of the little one.” 

The infant's crying woke Link, he slowly brought himself back up to all fours (although Purah definitely took note that Link was not having the easiest time) and crawled over to his baby. He stuck his snout-like nose into the sling and began to purr, Zelda Ivee calming shortly after grabbing ahold of his snout.

“Aw, good boy, Link. Good dad.” His wife ruffled his hair and kissed his sleepy forehead. She had all kinds of urges to mess with his hair, calling him all kinds of names more befitting a cute dog than a retired hero, but she forced herself to repress them. One hundred years ago, it was common, but it was no longer acceptable for a Hylian to treat a Wolfbred in such a lowly manner.

Purah giggled as the super-soldier sported a giant, goofy grin with his nose being tugged on by a baby. No research paper from the era of the Wolfbred's creation would say that this could possibly be any kind of life for someone like him, but Link clicked right into his role in the village, and his family, like he'd been designed specifically to do so. She'd been worried when Link began to present the disorder that had plagued male Wolfbred just before the exile, that Link's humanity would seep away until he was only an animalistic beast. However; it seemed that, despite all odds, Link was still the same man that Zelda had fallen for a century before. And for her sake, the baby's sake, and the sake of the rebuilding kingdom; that was a gift from Hylia. 

Now if only she could figure something out for his stuff joints…

[password-door-lock]

Mystictober Day 13-- Leaves

“This is so exciting,” you gush, tearing the sticky label off of your brand-new rake. You take a moment to appreciate the sharpness and the straightness of the tines— they won't stay that way for long, if experience serves you. “Our first fall together! And we have our very own yard to rake!” It's a strange milestone, but as far as you're concerned, it's a milestone all the same.

Saeran grins at you, endeared. “I'm looking forward to it,”  he assures you. “Though it's going to be new for me.”

You shrug. “It's really not that difficult,” you announce, “At least, not from what I remember… I’m pretty rusty, too. I haven’t had to do this since high school.” You’ve been living in the middle of the city for a while, and though you’ve gotten very good at sweeping the balconies of various apartments, you haven’t had to seriously worry about leaves for quite some time now. “But I did learn to rake leaves in elementary school, so maybe it’s one of those skills that sticks with you, like riding a bike.”

“You were doing chores like this when you were that young?” Saeran asks, surveying the yard. It's not too bad— the big tree near the garden has just started to drop its first leaves, but you figure that if the two of you make a day of it, going out and collecting all the leaves every week or so, the task won't become too big.

“I mean, I was trying,” you shrug, “I wasn't very good at it, but I had a lot of fun raking them into little piles and jumping in— we could do that, too, if you want, but there might not be enough leaves yet, so we’d have to wait until the tree really gets going.” 

“That does sound like fun, darling,” Saeran admits, giving your hand a small squeeze before returning his attention to the yard. “How should we start?”

To be honest, with all of his gardening experience, you were surprised when Saeran first told you that he'd never raked leaves before, but the more you thought about it, the more sense it made— as Ray, he was allowed to tend the gardens at Magenta, but there were other believers officially assigned to the task, and the grounds there were so sprawling that Rika likely would have considered it counterintuitive to have him spend so much time away from his computer when someone with fewer responsibilities could easily have done it. Of course, even if you didn't understand, you wouldn't say anything about it to Saeran— your general philosophy is that he can tell you what he wants to when he wants to, and that can be that. It’s his decision what he wants to share with you or keep to himself about his time at Magenta, and you won’t press him for any more than that.

“Well, what I like to do is to rake one horizontal line— maybe up by the flower beds?— and then do vertical lines the length of the yard to finish it up. Then we'll have a long pile of leaves that we can just rake onto a tarp or into garbage bags to add to the compost heap— after we jump in them, of course.” You use hand gestures to aid your explanation, which would probably be a bit confusing without them.

Saeran nods; he seems to understand regardless of your erratic explanation style. “Of course, my love. Let's do that.” With the two of you working, it doesn't take too long to clear the yard of leaves at all. Perhaps your childhood memories of entire afternoons spent cleaning up leaves were slightly exaggerated in the depths of your mind—  or perhaps you've just grown a lot since then. Maybe it's the fact that you have help— regardless, you're happy that you can share this moment with Saeran. 

Once all the leaves are piled up, you take the liberty of flopping into them with a thud. “Okay, you know what, honey? That wasn’t as fun as I remember it being.” You’re laying on your back amid the leaf pile, which is really more of a leaf area— there aren’t quite enough leaves yet for a proper pile.

Saeran, who apparently has much more common sense than you do, lowers himself down into the leaves by your side at a much more controlled rate. Consequently, there is much less thudding involved. “I had fun,” he assures you, “Since I got to spend time with you.” 

“Spending time together is always nice,” you agree, staring up at the clouds. You don’t need Saeran to tell you that he’s also cloud gazing— you can just tell. “Even if we’re doing chores.” 

“Mhm,” he agrees. “No matter what we’re doing, I’m happy to be by your side.” 

You reach over to squeeze his hand, though your train of thought is quickly derailed by a passing cloud. “That one kind of looks like a mug, doesn’t it?” You point with your free hand. 

Saeran examines the cloud in question. “It’s more like an elephant,” he decides. 

“An elephant?” You can’t help but laugh. “No, there’s the cup part,” you trace the outline in the air, “And there’s the handle.” 

“That’s the trunk, my love,” Saeran argues good-naturedly, “It’s clearly an elephant.” 

“No, babe, it’s obviously a mug,” you retort, “It’s making me want hot chocolate.”

“Hm,” Saeran considers the cloud once more, “It still looks like an elephant, but I won’t complain about hot chocolate.” 

“We probably have to get up, then,” you groan, rising so that you’re propped up on your elbows. “Would you rather hold the tarp or rake the leaves onto it?” 

“I’m fine with either, darling,” he assures you, “I’ll be thinking about hot chocolate the whole time.” 

“Alright, whatever you say.” You grin. You’re probably going to be thinking about hot chocolate, too. 

[final-girl96]

Firefly Chapter Forty-Two

The Neighborhood

After leaving the tunnels we came out to a neighborhood outside the city. We were almost home free. Ellie and Sam were walking ahead of us adults, who were talking about our old lives. “I remember when everything first happened; when they started to evacuate places,” Henry said. On the side of some houses people had spray painted messages, it was for the people who were going around looting and breaking into people’s homes to steal whatever they had. It was a warning to let them know that if they tried, they would regret it. “Yeah, I remember how everything was chaotic and out of control,” I said. We walked through the houses that hadn’t been boarded up to look for anything useful. To nobody’s surprise we didn’t find anything. We rounded the corner to the lower part of the neighborhood to see the road was blocked off and we would need to go through one of the back yards.

“What is this?” Ellie asked. Sam picked up the little pad he had around his neck and began writing before showing it to Ellie. “No way. Joel?” she called, looking back at us. “Did they really drive around in this and sell ice cream?” she asked. He nodded his head and hummed, “Sure did. They would drive around neighborhoods like this and play a creepy song that would have all the kids, even adults coming out to buy ice cream,” he told her. She looked over at me to confirm that he wasn’t just pulling her leg, and I nodded my head. “It’s true and the ice cream was always so damn good on a hot day.”

We moved past the truck and walked between two houses, down a few steps and into the lowest part of the neighborhood. Henry asked where we were going from here, which Ellie told him and then suggested that he and Sam could come along with us. Joel did not seem too happy about that, but I didn’t see a problem with it. Henry didn’t seem to be a bad guy, he was just trying to protect his little brother and give him the best life he could. Joel was about to say something when a gunshot went off. We were quick to duck behind a car just as another went off. “Is someone fucking shooting at us?” I asked. Joel looked up over the car to the house at the end of the street. “There’s someone on the top floor of that house, with a rifle."

Henry had made the decision to try and run with Sam only to be shot at. He was quick to come back and duck behind the car again. "Okay, I'm going to go up there." I looked at Joel like he was crazy. "What? No way. You can't go up there by yourself, Joel. I'll go with you," I said. He shut that down real quick though. "No. I want you to stay here with Ellie." I didn't argue. I knew I had to stay with Ellie, because if something were to happen it would be up to me to make sure she got to where she needed to go.

While Joel made his way to the house. Of course on his way there we hadn't noticed there were others hidden around the neighborhood. "Maybe you should go with him," Ellie said. "Joel will be fine, trust me. He doesn't need me to help him," I told her. It was true he didn't need my help, he was able to take those other men out easily enough as he made his way to the house at the end of the street.

I wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer to me and peaked around the car. There were a few more gunshots until I saw Joel standing in the window. He gave me a sign that everything was clear and we got up to get ready to move.

The four of us stood up and started towards the house when Joel started to yell at us. I couldn't hear but I could hear the sound of a vehicle. When I looked up at the house Joel was waving his hand to signal for us to hide and he was still yelling. "Get down! Now!" I pulled Ellie with me behind another car, Henry and Sam close behind us. The woman who was looking for Henry and Sam was here and she wasn't alone. She had a small army of people with her.

She wanted Sam, i didn't know exactly what for but it didn't matter at the moment. Henry decided to show himself, which wasn't good enough. She wanted to kill a child, that unsettled me, and I needed to hold myself back from doing something stupid. When she and her little group of people came charging in, Joel had shot at them. Of course he had good reason to shoot at them. They were shooting at us while we were trying to run.

He hit the driver of the lead truck, which crashed into one of the houses, and caused a fire to start growing. Everyone was now watching as that truck started to slow sink. Henry was right about FEDRA chasing all the infected underground. What he wasn't right about was them getting rid of all of them. When the ground gave way under the truck there were only a few seconds of silence before the howls of the infected echoed through the night air.

Clickers started to slip out of the giant hole in the ground, gunfire erupted, people were running to get away. Then it happened, a bloater crawled out of that hole, a huge one at that. My bones felt like they were shaking when it roared and stomped towards the man, the woman who was after Henry, was standing behind. He begged her to just run and she did.

I told Ellie to make a run for it while we had a chance. Henry had Sam as they tried to hide from the clickers. While Ellie and I made a run for it I caught a glimpse of the bloater ripping the man's head right off his shoulders. Joel was up in the house taking out any infected that got too close to me and Ellie. Clickers were getting a little too close for comfort. I helped Ellie into an open window of a van and started to take out any infected that got close.

I looked around for Henry and Sam and when my eyes landed on them my feet took over. They were both trying to crawl under a car to get away from two clickers. Kicking their feet at them as they scooted further under the car. Joel was right there the whole time, taking any infected out that got too close. I grabbed the clicker going after Sam, gripped my knife in my hand, and shoved the blade into its head. I took care of the one trying to grab Henry when Ellie came up beside me.

Once Henry and Sam were on their feet, we ran towards the house, dodging infected as we went. Joel shot a few more infected and then met us outside. We were almost there when the woman after Henry stopped us. She was going to say something when the sound of clicking caught our attention. There was a little girl, or what used to be a little girl only a few feet away. It only took a few seconds before she was punching on the woman, giving the five of us the chance to run.

[dustyoo10]

Very tired and I can't sleep, this thought is stuck in my head and normally I just bottle it up and let it fester but I have an outlet now where I can talk about these sort of things, so might as well. Hopefully it'll help me sleep.

Warning for discussions about death and some pretty serious stuff:

In 2022 I lost my cat Bailey. This was easily the most painful time in my life, and it was my first real experience with loss. I had lost relatives before, pets too, but never like this. It was about 2 months of excruciating pain and anxiety.

We would let her out and she would usually hang in the backyard or front yard. She loved to sunbathe. Part of me blames my dad for her death but I feel any one of us could have made this mistake, I still struggle with it. I should have looked, too. He didn't check to see if she was inside when he set out her dinner. She was stuck out there all night during a heatwave.

When I woke up in the morning and noticed she wasn't inside, I tried to see if she was outside, I found her at the side of the house on the hot concrete, barely awake. She was struggling to breathe and her skin was loose and saggy. I picked her up and brought her inside and told my dad something was wrong with her. He insisted she was fine and that her raspy breathing was actually "purring". She could hardly move. I woke my mom and told her what was happening, and I had to convince her to take her to the emergency vet. It felt like no one saw she was dying except me.

After a checkup and some shots she appeared to be doing better, I believe they said it was dehydration. I had stayed up all night and I stayed up even longer watching her. That's what hurts the most. I was awake during the night when she was out there on her own.

Regardless, this marked a complete turn in her health. She was in good shape for 14, but that drastically fell after that day. I didn't go to our family reunion so that I could watch after her. Honestly, I don't know how my family was fine with her being alone for several days whilst dying. Even if I didn't care for her as much as I did, I wouldn't leave anyone like that.

I struggled to get her to eat anything other than sips of tuna water, and it seemed like she never slept. She couldn't, she was too weak. I couldn't sleep either. I've always had bad insomnia, but this was much worse.

A few weeks later I convinced my mom to take her to the vets again. I was adamant that if we just took her to the vets they could fix her, even though a part of me deep down knew that wasn't true. The morning we were supposed to go I was in the restroom when I noticed that I didn't feel anything in my chest. my heart wasn't beating. I had a vasovagal response, it's when your blood pressure drops rapidly due to immense anxiety, which had never happened to me before. It was a good minute before I nearly collapsed downstairs. I was pale and struggling to breathe while my mom was trying to help me recover.

The vet ended up being closed that day, and we only learned whilst we were in the car with Bailey, who was extremely distressed. I think it was a good thing. If they were open it would've served no more than to prolong the inevitable and to keep her suffering. There was no fix for this. I believe she had air in her lungs, from the post-mortem scan. Some sort of cancer or disease she had from being a barn kitten. So there really was nothing we could do. Well, there was something I could do.

When we got back home I sat and thought, and I decided to take initiative for once rather than waiting for something to happen, or hoping some miracle would fall down from the sky. I went to my mom and told her she needed to be euthanized while tearing up. My mom didn't say it, but she already knew this. She went along with my idea that something could help her so as to not upset me. At the vet she'd either have been euthanized there, or told that she doesn't have long regardless.

She called a mobile vet so that she could be put to sleep her at home. We brought her out to the deck for the last time, and I sat with her, constantly wiping snot from my nose, and trying my best to enjoy that last moment with her. At this point she was falling apart, she could hardly keep herself concious.

The vet came and put her to sleep. When the syringe went it she bit down on my hand, leaving a mark that's still there. Then her eyes just sort of glazed and she began to drift. She couldn't get the euthanasia needle into the right spot in our house, so she took Bailey to her RV and did it there. She let us come see her one last time and I regret that. I put my ear on her chest and felt nothing, so I left really quickly after that. My mom came over to me while Bailey was leaving our driveway to be cremated and hugged me, and I started sobbing while she held me.

I went inside, got in the shower, curled up and started crying harder than I ever had in my life. I wasn't good enough to her, there was a lot of things i didn't do right, and that was the first day in my 19 years of life that it truly dawned on me that people will die. You don't get an infinite amount of time to make up for your mistakes, and you don't get infinite time with them.

In a way it was both sad and relieving. She was in pain for so long. Now she could finally sleep, and so could I. I no longer had to worry about waking up and finding her dead, or laying in bed restless because I didn't want to leave her alone. She died on September 6th, 2022.

Over a month later, I got B.B. after much convincing from my mom. Bailey was originally my sister's cat, but my mom ended up taking responsibilities for her since my sister was only 14, although i had to convince her that I was older and more responsible. I had lived the majority of my life with a cat, and a part of it was just empty without her. B.B. wasn't meant to fill that hole in my heart that Bailey left, but to give me something else to love, and this time I would do everything right.

Apologies for anyone who didn't want to read something like this.

[stargazer-sims]

Journal Entry #49 (part two)

previously - Journal Entry #49 (part one)

Victor

After my appointment with Dr. Ishida, Mom and I grabbed some lunch and then went to the hospital to see Yuri. My visit with the eye doctor had gone way better than I'd anticipated, and she’d told me some things that'd taken me by surprise. I could hardly wait to tell Yuri everything that happened, and everything I'd learned from the doctor.

When we got to Yuri's room, he was sleeping. He's been sleeping a lot, so that didn't come as much of a shock. His body needs the rest, and even though the amount of sleep he's currently getting is induced by antibiotics, steroids and heavy-duty painkillers, I'm not too worried about it because I know it's helping him.

The thing that does concern me is how slowly he seems to be recovering. The last time he had an infection like this, the antibiotics had worked their magic in about three days. By the end of his fourth day in the hospital, he was able to sit up in bed by himself and swallow some water and a few mouthfuls of meal replacement drink on his own. This time, he's already been in the hospital for four days and they still have to hydrate and nourish him with tubes, and I don't think he's had the strength to sit up since he was admitted.

Mr. Okamoto was there when Mom and I arrived. With the benefit of my partially returned vision, I was able to see how drawn and weary he looked. If I hadn't known better, I might've even said he'd been crying. His eyes were red around the edges, as if he'd been rubbing at them, and there were pronounced dark smudges underneath.

I didn't draw attention to it. I just greeted him and asked how everything was going. He said Yuri had been awake around mid-morning, and they'd talked, but that he'd been in a lot of pain. He drifted off again after a nurse had given him more medication.

The way Mr. Okamoto said he and Yuri had talked made it sound like it hadn't just been meaningless small talk. I was dying to find out exactly what they'd talked about, but I knew better than to ask. It was unlikely my father-in-law would tell me anyway. Maybe Yuri would, when he was ready. It wouldn't do any good to ask him either.

I told Mr. Okamoto that I planned to stay for a while, if he wanted to go home for some food and a nap. He favoured me with a small smile that I could only describe as grateful, nodded, and said he'd be back around dinnertime.

That worked for me, because I needed to be home and fed before Sakura showed up in the evening. I could hardly wait to get Elsa back, as ridiculous as that likely sounds to some of you. I've been worrying incessantly that she'd gotten damaged in our flying tumble down the mountain, and I needed to inspect her for myself. Plus, I needed to tell Sakura about my doctor visit, and ask her if she'd been able to locate Seiji.

Mom decided to leave a few minutes after Mr. Okamoto did. She said it didn't make any sense for her to sit there and watch Yuri sleep, and I agreed. I suggested that she and Julian should go and do some sightseeing or something to take advantage of a free afternoon.

"Ask Uncle Kaz," I said. "He knows all the best things to do in town, and he'd probably love to play tour guide."

"I think Julian wants to go to the onsen," she said. "The indoor one. He wasn't comfortable sitting outside in your yard."

"He knows you have to be completely naked at the public onsen, right?"

Mom looked amused. "I'll tell him."

Yuri and I go naked in our little private hot spring bath behind our house, following the age-old rules of social etiquette for hot springs even though we don't really have to. Our friends do as well, when they're at our place, and it's totally fine. Even in the public onsen, it's not embarrassing at all to be in the buff because nobody's really looking at anyone else, and everyone's too polite to say anything even if they were looking.

"He'll be okay," I said. "I don't want him to be caught off-guard when he gets there, that's all."

She nodded. "I'm sure he'll appreciate the heads-up."

"Have fun," I said. "And don't let Uncle Kaz fill your head with nonsense about local legends and stuff. If it sounds fake, it probably is."

"Good to know," she said. She gave me a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'll be back to pick you up around five-thirty, okay?"

"Okay," I acknowledged. "See you later."

Once Mom made her exit, I took my place next to Yuri's bed, in the chair Mr. Okamoto had been occupying a short time earlier. It wasn't the most comfortable chair, which I knew from having sat in it for hours each day this week, but I reminded myself that my situation could've been a lot worse. At least today I didn't have to hang out in Yuri's rooom with nothing to do but be alone with my own thoughts.

Today, I was able to use my phone. I sent another message to Seiji, which yet again went unanswered, and I spent some time exchanging texts with Fox, who's the only one of our friend group who doesn't currently have a job. He said he and Takahiro hadn't heard from Seiji for several days either. According to him, Taka evidently knew something about it, but for some reason he didn't want to tell Fox anything. That worried me. I didn't want to stress Fox out with my own anxieties, though, so I simply said I'd let him know if Seiji messaged or called me, and he promised he'd do the same if Seiji got in touch with him.

After chatting with Fox, I scrolled through the sports news. I knew there'd been at least two stories about my accident right after it happened because Yuri had seen them and told me. There might've been more, but I wasn't emotionally ready to know, so I didn't search for them. Instead, I looked at hockey scores from back home, watched some epic ski-jumping videos, and read a short article about some hotshot Canadian figure skater who’s training here in Japan now and absolutely owning the podium this season.

The guy’s a Korean-Canadian, judging by his name, and he’s apparently dating a J-pop idol. I didn't know how the bit about the boyfriend was supposed to have been relevant to the news story, but it was mildly interesting, so I decided to bookmark the article so I could read it to Yuri later. He loves J-pop, and he'd probably know who the skater’s boyfriend is.

Yuri would likely recognize the skater's name as well, now that I’m thinking about it. Figure skating is another thing he’s into. He likes looking at the fancy costumes, and undoubtedly also the men in those costumes, although he’d likely never admit that last part to me. I don’t blame him, though. I mean, I don’t care about figure skating all that much, but if it wasn’t already obvious, I kinda have a thing for delicate-looking men, especially the fair-skinned and dark-haired ones like Eden Seong, the skater in the news article.

Don't tell Yuri.

When I got tired of scrolling, I got up and walked around the room a few times. Even though I'm not technically cleared for exercise, I tried a few leg stretches. It felt good to work my muscles, even if only gently.

I was in the middle of a set of knee lifts when I heard the distinct rustling of starchy hospital blankets, and then a small, sleepy whine. Yuri always makes the cutest noises when he first wakes up. It's like he's offended that his consciousness has resurfaced and dragged him away from sleep.

I immediately stopped what I was doing, crossed the room in a few quick strides, and resumed my seat.

"Hi," I greeted him. "Sleep well?"

Yuri peered blearily at me through half-closed eyelids. "Victor...?"

"The one and only," I said. "How are you feeling?"

He frowned adorably. "Is... is that a rhetorical question?"

"No. I really want to know."

"Better?" he said. "No, not really better... but, my pain's not too bad, and I don't feel like my brain is in a fog any more, so... that's something, I guess."

"Your fever's down. I'll bet that makes a difference."

"I wish I was better already," he complained.

"I know you do." As carefully as I could, I brushed my fingertips through his hair and down along his temple and cheek. "Honestly, though, I'm just glad you're improving and that we can be together. I missed seeing you, my sweet boy."

"You... what?" he said. Then, as my words sank in, he reached up to put his hand over mine, and despite how pale and sick he looked, his face lit up with the most beautiful smile. His eyes met mine and he held my gaze. "Wait a second. Victor, are you saying... you can see me?"

“Yeah.” I was suddenly crying for the second time that day, and I wasn’t even bothered by it. "Talk about irony, right? On the day I saw the eye doctor and everything."

"That's amazing news. You have to tell me all about your appointment with the eye doctor."

“I will," I said. "I have a lot to tell you, but I just... I want to look at you for a while, first. You know, our picture on the nightstand was the first thing I saw when I woke up, and then I could hardly wait to see you in person."

“You’ve been sleeping in my bed.” It wasn't really a question. He knows me well enough to realize that's exactly what I'd been doing, just like I knew without him telling me that he'd slept in my bed when I'd been in the hospital.

“It's because I miss you,” I said. “I'm waiting for you to come home and sleep in your bed with me.”

His smile faltered a bit, and he pulled my hand away from his face. He didn’t let go of my fingers, though. “Your cast is scratching me,” he said quietly, sounding half-apologetic.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“I want to come home and share a bed with you again too, but it might be a few more days before I can. Maybe a week. I don't know.”

“It’s okay,” I said. “I’ll be here with you every day until then."

"You need to take care of yourself," he said. "You need to rest. You're still healing too."

"I'll be resting here," I told him. "What am I going to be doing besides sitting?"

"I saw you exercising."

"Uh... don't tell anyone you saw that."

"You're impossible, Victor," he said. "Don't do it any more until Dr. Sato says you can. Understand?"

I smiled. "Hey, here's a thought. If I stay here with you, then you can keep an eye on me and boss me around as much as you want."

"I'm being serious."

"I'm sorry," I said. "I'll be good."

"You'd better be," he said. He stirred uncomfortably, and then nodded toward something on the narrow, wheeled table near the bed. "Do you think you've got enough command of your fingers to use the bed controls? I think I'd like to sit up for a bit, but..."

"Are you allowed to sit?" I inquired.

"Nobody said I'm not allowed. Please? Just for a few minutes? We don't have to tell anyone."

Because I can almost never say no to him, I clumsily pressed buttons on the remote that controlled the elevation of the bed and eventually got it so that the head of the bed was at a comfortable angle for him. He wasn't quite sitting. It was more like reclining, but I reasoned it was better for him that way, since he didn't have to use any of his own power to hold himself upright. I was sure he was pleased to be in a position other than lying flat, like he'd been doing for the last several days.

When I asked if he was okay, he replied that he was. He reached for me again, and I let him curl his fragile little hand around mine.

We sat quietly for a few minutes after that. Yuri played with my fingers, slowly bending and flexing them as much as my casts would allow, and delicately massaging each one. I often let him do that, even before my accident. It feels good, not necessarily because of the movement, but more because he’s touching me by his own choice and doing it with such deliberate care.

I closed my eyes. “You’re so good at hand massages.”

“Do you like it?”

“Yeah. My fingers were stiff. I didn’t realize.”

“You’re not using them enough. Yes, I know you can’t,” he added, before I could point out the fact. “We’ll have to do this every day until you can.”

“You won’t hear me complaining.”

“Nor me,” he said, and then made a little noise of disapproval. “Bring moisturizer tomorrow, though."

"They're that bad?"

"They could be softer," he said. "Bring your nail clippers and file as well. If I’m feeling up to it, I’ll give you a manicure.”

I laughed at that. “A manicure? You really must be on the mend, if that's on your mind.”

"Bring your rings tomorrow too," he said.

"Do you think they'll fit now?"

"Hmm..." he hummed softly as he stroked the top of my ring finger. "I think so, and now you'll be able to see me put them on you."

"Can I put yours on you?" I asked.

"Mine are already on." He looked slightly bemused. “Besides, even if I took them off, how would you propose to put them back on without using your thumbs?"

"Well... you could just slide your rings down your fingers a bit, and then let me slide them back," I suggested. "Or maybe just that one." I gestured at his right hand, with the heavy gold band. "You know, the day we put those on was one of the happiest and the saddest at the same time? Like, being on a video call and watching you open the package and put your ring on yourself was really hard, 'cause I wished I could be there to put it on you. But, I was happy because of the promises we made."

"Me too," he said. "Both those feelings."

"So, can I...?"

He nodded slightly, and smiled in the sweet, shy way that never fails to melt my heart. "Yes, you can. In fact, I think I'd like that very much."

[jamiebluewind]

I'm in a bit of a pickle.

The friend I'm visiting had a cat that walked into her yard and adopted her a couple months ago. She had kittens soon after. The solid black kitten is going to a friend back in Virginia, but... then we have her brother

His name is Eclipse, my roommate/best friend and I adore him, and he has a birth defect.

You can see it's a pretty bad umbilical hernia. He seems to be otherwise healthy, the area is soft, he has no fever, and his appetite is good, but the hernia is big enough that it PROBABLY won't close on its own without surgery.

My best friend and I didn't come down planning on taking a kitten for ourselves. There's a thousand reasons not to. I mean, we both have a cat of our own, our current apartment will only allow two animals (meaning he would have to stay with her mom a few months), our lease goes for a few more months before we can move, and we are on a tight budget, but the little guy has taken up with us and he has such a big personality that we don't want to leave him behind.

The other factor is that this area has a surplus of kittens and not a lot of programs. We came down to visit, but also to pick up the little girl to take her to a good home. We didn't know about his health issue or just how charming he was. Nobody here wanted a kitten with a lump and a big surgical bill from the word go, so his only prospects are currently us, our friend keeping him outdoors (in a neighborhood with a feral cat colony), and... that's it.

We're worried how our cats will react (they are best friends), what his needs will be (we're looking for someone to check him before we transport him back to VA but we have no experience with hernia repair), and if we can convince my roommate's mom to keep him until we move in a few months.

It's 2 am and I'm wide awake thinking of everything that could go wrong, but I want to at least TRY to give him a good life. So I guess I'm just screaming into the void to get all my thoughts out, but also hoping somebody out there knows what to expect and is willing to give me some pointers. I'm scared of what the vet will say. I'm scared of complications and everything that could go wrong. I'm disabled and made of anxiety and cognitive distortions. Am I even up for whatever is coming my way?

I hope so.

I really hope so.

[gritsandbrits]

I could complain until the cows come home but seems like AEG is here to stay. So I wrote my own version of it featuring my Ocs9 bc of course plus a bit of TATMR. So my version is Thomas and audrey being partners (engineer and train) to become Number 1 but has to go thru numerous challenges to get to it. One of them being making it out the smelters yard...alive.

"Don't worry Audrey I'll get you home!" Thomas chirped. His enthusiasm softened my edge but I was still very nervous.

As time dragged on the sky darkened to a pitch black. Only the not-yet full moon and Thomas's lamp were our source of light. I shiver. Thomas must've noticed my anxiety because he spoke up.

"Are you okay Audrey?"

"I'm fine," I say. My voice comes off as a stuffed whimper. I sniffle. I hate getting colds.

My aunts would tell me monsters lurked in the dark though that was probably to keep me from going into the fridge at night. Now I didn't have to worry about that but their mocking still fresh in their minds. Even though Thomas is here I couldn't stop the sense of dread gnawing in my tummy.

Soon we're at a portion of the island I have never seen before. There was a large building, with smoke coming out of large towers. Red glow from the windows. The smell of oil weighs down on me like somebody sitting on my back. I don't know if engines had a sense of smell but seeing Thomas scrunching his nose up I think that confirms it.

"We have to keep our voices down," whispered Thomas. I nodded.

Quietly, Thomas starts to move. I hear the sizzling hiss of sparks from wires dangling in random places. The air seems to heat up worse, like standing right next to fire. I can even hear the rough pounding of metal being smashed from instead the building. Victor's workshop it was not.

"What exactly do they do here?"

"Exactly what it says, they melt old engines down for parts." Thomas replied sadly. It was a terrible thing to hear. Hit too close to home. I hated my aunts but at least they never sold me for parts.

Suddenly we hear a long drawn out honk echo through the yard, and I jump at the noise. Thomas freezes in his spot.

"Oh no...We gotta hide!" He exclaims. He darts over to where a large flatbed full of twisted metal rested in place, and hides behind it.

"Wait why?" I ask. I get my answer when we see another train, a diesel with black and yellowish coloring, slither through where we were just standing a few seconds ago. They didn't seem to notice we were hiding behind it.

We wait what feels like a horrible lifetime. The engine moves to a different spot never noticing our presence. Thomas lets out a sigh. I peek out from the window and see it as a sign to go.

Thomas sneaks away to a section of rail obscured by shadows. We wait another long horrible minute, as the diesel slither back to fetch the flatbed we had just used as a hiding spot. We watch as they take it inside the warehouse. We hear a bunch of noises, and a clanking sound.

We go back and forth, finding a hiding spot as the diesel moves around the yard. Thomas determined to outsmart our unaware opponent. I felt so helpless how else would I feel being in train hell?

"Thomas I'm scared!"

"No! We'll get out of here I promise!" Thomas replies quiet determination. I clutch my jacket tighter. Then I spotted a track that led to the back entry of the warehouse. There seemed to be no one there. I gasp. Our ticket out.

"What about the back way?" I suggest. He follows where I'm pointing at.

"Good call Audrey!" The engine says and, seeing tbe diesel distracted, quickly tiptoes towarda the back avoiding as much light as possible.

I nearly laugh in triumph. Finally we're almost free...!

"Well well well look what we have here?"

Thomas's wheels shrieks to a stop. I peek my head out the cabin and watch, terrified as the same diesel behind grins at us. I recognize it as my aunt would smile like that before sending me to the attic.

"Didn't your parents tell you it's rude to show up uninvited late in the day? The diesel sneers. Thomas rolls back hoping to distance himself as much as possible.

"I I was just trying to go back to the sheds," he stammers quickly. Unmoved the diesel moves forward.

"And are the sheds with us now?" Said the diesel.

"Actually I wanted to take a shortcut yeah? The smelters is the quickest and best way to go-home?" At that last part Thomas's rambling trails off as he realizes the diesel is not moved by his excuse. I paused wondering if I should come out. If the diesel saw Thomas has a passenger maybe he'll let us go. They wouldn't melt a human much less a little kid.

Thomas rolls back but yelps as he bumps into another diesel with the same exact coloring.

"'Arry why don't you show the kid around will ya?"

The diesel named Arry lets out an identical grin. "Don't mind if O do!"

Thomas whimpers as the diesels escort us into the warehouse.

If you thought outside was bad inside was a total nightmare. Sparks fizzles like lightning, the room enveloped in bright red and nothing else. Smoke gets inside the cabin and i cough. The sounds of grinding metal pounds my ears and i cover them up to block out the sound.

"Ey we got a little pest infestation!" The diesel barks. I hear a bunch of jeers, and I look to see the building had multiple platforms where diesels move about pushing trucks full of metal and other stuff I don't wish to imagine.

The twin diesels park Thomas in front of a tower. It spins as it lowers another much bigger diesel into view. He is colored gold and have eyes burning like the flames flickering from the giant fire pit adjacent to us. But the part that I notice the most if the claw on top of his "head." It is wide and comes to sharp points.

He studies the little engine before him.

"This is the pest? That's just a little puffball" His voice is deep and smooth, not like the merry sadism of his cohorts.

"Well we caught 'him sneaking about. Probably one of Gordon's students."

At the mention of Gordon the diesel perks up a brow. "Gordon you say? Hmph, Ever since he beat me in that race I've been punching up here," he mumbles. I detect a pinch of jealousy. His claw clangs. "I know Pinchy, daddy knows you deserve better too."

"Uh but fidn't you cheat?" Thomas pipes up on confusion. He jumps as the diesel clang his claw in anger.

"Who gave you permission to speak?" The diesel asks, as if he didn't just throw a temper tantrum.

"Well since I'm about to die I might as well say my last words," Thomas replies with a shrug. "But before you scrap me, I have one final request."

"What pray tell would that request be?"

"I wish I had a bag of sugar."

The diesels lurch in horror. I hear the rest gasp. Seems like sugar was a tough subject. Maybe they were allergic...do engines even eat our food?

Diesel 10's mouth twists but as quickly gathers himself again and chuckles smoothly.

With that implication his claw slowly reaches for Thomas.

"Okay maybe not sugar, then again you diesels aren't very known for being sweet."

"You have some nerve boy," Diesel 10 sneers. "I'm about to toss you into the pit yet you seem unafraid."

"Well I would be lying if I say I'm not afraid which also means I am not actually that afraid," Thomas replies quickly.

Diesel 10 laughs. It sickens me even further.

"I can smell when you're lying boy," he wipes his face with his claw. "You think I'm impressed by such childish banter?"

"Banter who said anything about banter?" Thomas scoffs. "I'm the one who got kidnapped I'm literally just one engine," he sniffles as a tear falls out of his wide blue eyes.

"What would the fat controller say!"

""Perhaps you'll make a good addition to my collection. I have something old something new and something borrowed but no something blue."

Thomas gulps as the claw of Diesel 10 inches closer...closer.

"Wait!" I scream and against Thomas's protest, I step out of the cabin. I run right in front of Thomas with my hands out. "Leave him alone you giant metal crab!

The diesels all look stunned. Diesel 10 is taken aback by my presence. Then he growls.

"Nobody dares speak to me like that!" His claw snaps open and shut in agreement.

I shrink back but the heat of the moment - heh - gets to me. "Well I just did! Thomas is taking me back home. We didn't mean to come here, sir."

Thomas adds,"We promise we'll never set foot here again Just please let us go."

Diesel 10 ponders for a moment. He looks at me, then at Thomas. I could tell he didn't want to. I stand close to Thomas.

Finally his claw clangs again and he relents.

"Fine we'll let you go, For now," he mutters. "Escort them out. I don't want to be bothered again!"

I get bakc into the cabin and Thomas let's out a relieve. The diesels frown but do as their boss says, and leads us out of the warehouse. The moment we're free Thomas shoots by as far away from the scary place. I sit back and take as many breaths as I can. I was so scared but Thomas's safety was more important. He done so much for me I didn't want to lose him.

"That was an ordeal! Thank you Audrey for standing up for me back there," Thomas says in gratitude.

I feel my face heat up. "Thank you. I don't know what came over me I saw that claw try to hurt you and I-"

"It's fine, besides I wasn't scared at all!" Thomas cuts in. Clearly he was trying to save face to spare the embarrassment. But better embarrassed than scrapped.

[waitingforwinterwinds]

A Clash of Kings - 45 CATELYN VI (pages 587-598)

Cat and Brienne remain in Riverrun while Edmure heads out to battle. They get to see his very effective Riverrun Defense System in operation.

-

Brienne asked," What should we do now, my lady?" "Our duty." Catelyn's face was drawn as she started across the yard. I have always done my duty, she thought. Perhaps that was why her lord father had always cherished her the best of all his children. Her two older brothers died in infancy, so she had been son as well as daughter to Lord Hoster until Edmure was born. Then her mother had died and her father had told her that she must be the lady of Riverrun now, and she had done that too. And when Lord Hoster promised her to Brandon Stark, she had thanked him for making her such a splendid match.

I feel like this explains so much about Cat. How shackled she's been by duty to her family, how deeply ingrained in her it is. Like I feel like she has a natural tendency towards the duty and loyalty and care, or she would have cracked under the pressure, but oh what pressure that would have been, and one she can never escape given the shape of the society she lives in.

"Did you see my girls? Are they treated well?" Ser Cleos hesitated. "I... yes, they seemed..." He is fumbling for a lie, Catelyn realized, but the wine has fuddled his wits. "Ser Cleos," she said cooly, "you forfeired the protection of your peace banner when your men played us false. Lie to me, and you'll hang from the walls beside them. Believe that. I shall ask you once more- did you see my daughters?" His brow was damp with sweat. "I saw Sansa at the court, the day Tyrion told me his terms. She looked most beautiful, my lady. Perhaps a bit wan. Drawn, as it were." Sansa, but not Arya. That might mean anything. Arya had always been harder to tame. Perhaps Cersei was reluctant to parade her in open court for fear of what she might say or do. They might have her locked safely out of sight. Or they might have killed her. Catelyn shoved the thought away.

Come on Cat, think, even Sansa's initial letter didn't mention her, not because she's dead, but because they never had her. I mean, yes, there are a lot of explanations and Cat can't know any of them for certain, but it's okay, Arya escaped she's... well I mean she's not safe safe, but she's not dead or in prison?

Stay hopeful!

"And the stars in the night were the eyes of his wolves , and the wind itself was their song."

It's a bop.

"There was always a singer at Evenfall Hall when I was a girl," Brienne said quietly. "I learned all the songs by heart." "Sansa did the same, though few singers ever cared to make the journey north to Winterfell." I told her there would be singers at the king's court, though. I told her she would hear music of all sorts, that her father could find some master to help her learn the high harp. Oh, gods forgive me...

*squints* hang on a sec, we'll be back to glare judgementally at Ned in a second. *pulls out GoT* ... yeah, no, that's what I thought. Arya I "Sansa could sew and dance and sing. She wrote poetry. She knew how to dress. She played the high harp and the bells."

So I'm going to guess it's more a "Sansa's technically only an amateur musician by musician terms and she was promised a teacher to become a real pro" than a "teach her from scratch" type situation? Actually, if singers don't go to Winterfell often, who taught her? Mordane? Her mother? Was she self taught? Was it MVP Luwin?

Or GRRM forgot he wrote that line.

Right, now that's double checked, let's all glare judgmentally at Ned for a minute, cause don't think we didn't notice this promised harp teacher not materialise unlike Arya's 'dance' instructor.

... good job everyone! You may relax your brows.

...Oh the guilt Cat feels, someone hug this woman.

In the end the Mountain and a handful of his best had gained the west bank, but Edmure had thrown his reserve at them, and they had shattered and reeled away bloody and beaten. Ser Gregor himself had lost his horse and staggered back across the Red Fork bleeding from a dozen wounds while a rain of arrows and stones fell around him.

*twists a ribbon and adds some glitter glue before pinning it to Edmure's chest* I hereby present you with the Not As Martially Useless As You Could Have Been Award. Good job buddy!

I know, I'm very mean to him, he actually has a pretty good tactical and strategic mind from what we've seen this chapter, his preparations all up and down the rivers and his defenses of Riverrun which we saw last Cat Chapter. Unfortunately for him my strongest association for his character is the scene from the show where he fails to hit the funeral barge several times and Blackfish has to shove him out of the way and do it for him.

But if we are winning, why am I so afraid?

Because you've been paying attention. (a large amount of intuition is information you picked up without noticing being analyzed and pulling up flags in the background.)

Actually, now that it's come up, has anyone else noticed Cat's chapter have a strangely prophetic vibe to them? Like there's just a lot of lines and vibes that could be either coincidence of foreshadowing?