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soyouthinkucanwrite · 3 years ago

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The money thing (part 1/2) - Daniel Ricciardo

It's always the little things, isn't it? The smallest stupidest things make almost no difference and then make all the difference in the world. They make everything special, but they also have the power to tear everything appart.

You and Daniel fight about money for the thousand time and he's had enough of it.

Warnings: super angst, but with a happy ending :)

Guys, this turned out WAY BIGGER than I expected, so I'm just gonna do a part 2, okay? Okay, thanks for understanding!

Song that inspired me: A list by HVOB

You and Daniel had been dating for a couple months now, having met through a common friend and hitting off almost instantly. You lived in Amsterdam and he, well he lived all over the world really, but his "time off" (meaning not racing) was spent between Monaco and London (for work), and Amsterdam now too, of course.

The changes were small and subtle at the beginning, like your weekends being spent traveling to meet him wherever in the world he was and consequently spending almost all your savings on plane tickets. You never complained to him (you planned on spending the money traveling anyway, so you didn't see the point), but didn't accept when he offered to buy your tickets, either. There's been some awkwardness around the subject but it usually died on its own.

*beginning of flashback*

"You’d have gotten here in time if you'd gotten the early flight like I told you" you remembered him saying that time you got in the paddock after the qualifying session had begun and couldn’t kiss him good luck.

"Baby, I told you. It was crazy expensive! Absurd even!"

"(y/n) for god's sake! What are we saving money for? I told you, you have my credit card number, I've offered to get you one, this is ridiculous, I can't believe I literally earn millions and my girlfriend wasn't there with me because the ticket was too expensive! I'll fucking fly you private if I have to!" he was almost yelling in his driver's room. You could only stare from the corner.

He took a deep breath running his hands through his hair. "Sorry. It's just... it was crap out there. I needed you" you grimaced at his words.

"Sorry. I really am..." you tried to approach him. "I'm here now?" you touched his arm. "It can't have been that bad, you're still on the top 10 and we both know what you can do from the 8th car..." you smiled at him.

*end of flashback*

He started to spend much more of his time off with you at your place, so you decided to get a place by yourself (having a roommate was great for company and splitting the rent, but having a roommate there while you guys just wanted some much-needed privacy was not working). Then there were more traveling to meet him, furniture for the new place, clothing for all the events (GPs or not), uber rides here and there... all of that without mentioning that you weren't being able to get the freelance jobs you used to get to make some extra money, so yeah, to say things were tight was an understatement. You tried to do all your shopping alone, so he wouldn't offer and you wouldn't refuse or be awkward about it, but Daniel seem to be glued to you whenever you were in the same city (not that you’re complaining).

The thing is, you always had trouble dealing with money. Sure, you liked to pay for your own stuff so as to not owe anything to anyone (especially boys), but it was so much deeper than that. Ever since a kid, you hated asking for money from your parents, and sometimes even the thought of buying stuff that was a bit more expensive made you sick. You couldn't explain why, you just felt guilty having so much and knowing that most people have never even seen that amount. It's not that you didn't want to spend it and save for the sake of it, you just didn't handle the idea of money very well. Needless to say, dating a millionnaire was bound to cause trouble in the relationship for you.

You were currently at his place in Monaco. It was the summer break and you had decided to spend some days just chilling at home, just the two of you - which you were glad since going out means hair, makeup, clothes, accessories, shoes... and, let's be honest, the kind of places he usually took you is not the kind of places you just throw something together last minute (the Instagram models and other driver's girlfriends looking you up and down were enough to make you think about spending money you did not have to hire a stylist or something like that). The whole situation was really stressing you out and you knew you would have to be honest with him eventually, instead of only dodging the subject and refusing most of his offers to pay. You tried to. You kind of tried. You suggested staying at home, in bed, most of the time, and he gladly agreed, but that strategy wasn't gonna work forever. You had to be honest with him. But at the same time, you knew what he was going to say and do, and the thought of him spending money on you, even if just by handling the restaurant bill, wasn't something you were much more comfortable with. Besides, it was only a matter of time before the "gold-digger" term starts to fly around in the small world that was the F1's.

You were laying on his couch, the Olympics playing on the TV but you were too busy overthinking the money thing to pay attention. Daniel was laying with his head on your lap, absently caressing your thigh and watching the TV. His phone went off and he moved to pick it up.

"Hello?" you watched as he answered the phone. "Hey mate, how's it going? Uh nothing, we're just chilling at home. Getting some rest... Yeah, I'm getting rested, you dirty-minded son of a bitch" you rolled your eyes while he laughed out loud on the line with someone. "Yeah, I know... the 19th is it? No, it's fine. Yeah, yeah. I'll be there. Alright, mate. Thanks for calling. Have a good one! Bye!" he hanged up and leaned in to peck you on the lips.

"Good news?" you asked him.

"Not really. Just wanted to kiss you" he shrugged, smiling. You smiled back and hugged him, pulling him in for another kiss. He was always so caring with you, always finding an excuse to kiss or touch you. You knew some people didn't like it, but you loved it. Physical touch was definitely one of your love languages.

"What's happening on the 19th then?" you asked him once you guys set apart from the kiss.

"Gotta be in London. Gonna run some testings and other boring race stuff..."

"Hum..." you hummed in understanding.

"You know what would make it less boring though?" he asked and you just looked at him, you already knew what he was going to ask you and it wasn't that you didn't want to spend every minute of the day with him, but you simply couldn't afford any more traveling, especially not in such short notice. "If you came with me. Huh? What do you say? A week in the Queen's land? Then we can fly together to Spa and after the race, I can go with you to Amsterdam. The next one it's the Dutch GP anyway, I'll just get there sooner" he laughed. It was crushing you, the man of your dreams was literally beaming at making plans with you, talking about spending the next few weeks glued together and you couldn't say yes.

"Dan, I have to work" you smiled sadly.

"Can't you work from distance? Or, I don't know, I mean... I know it's tiring, but you could come to London and fly home a bit early, then just meet me in Belgium?" great, his solution includes even more flying. And the thing is, you really didn't mind the flying. You always slept during the whole thing anyway, so you never got tired and the jetlag was minimal. You could work from distance, sure. Your boss wouldn't mind, as long as you got there eventually to check in on everything. But the whole logistics were just too expensive. There was no way you could afford it.

"I... sorry, I don't think I can" you said sadly and watched as his face dropped.

"That's fine, baby. I get it. I'm asking too much, all this traveling... don't worry about it" he tried to mask his emotions but you knew better. He knew you could in fact work from distance, so he was probably thinking the reason you couldn't do it was because you didn't want to.

He got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen. Meanwhile, you couldn't help but bury your face in your palms. This was so frustrating!

"You wanna go for a run or something? Maybe get something to eat?" he called from the kitchen, already moving on from the subject. You knew this whole thing was only gonna keep build up till he got tired of your excuses or you blowing up, probably the former, but you just keep going.

"Yeah, sure" you answered, getting up from the couch.

You and Daniel were both very active so going for a run, hiking, riding bikes, or whatever in the middle of the day was really routine for you. The Monaco summer weather was as beautiful as always and the sun was shining bright. You enjoyed the rest of your afternoon racing each other, kissing in the harbor, and just taking in the views, spending quality time together. Money wasn't even a thing in your bubble for a while.

"I'm getting hungry" he said on the way back home.

"Me too, and I'm super hot. I could go for a juice or something right now" you were all sweaty from the running, but you didn't care, he was too.

"You're always hot baby, I don't think juice gonna help with that" he grinned at you and you just rolled your eyes at him.

You passed by one of his favorite spots for food, nearby his place and he suggested getting some take-out, to which you agreed.

"Green juice, and a chicken wrap?" you tried to decide while the both of you waited in line.

"I'll never understand how you drink that"

"I've seen you drink that too, it's actually very refreshing"

"Because I'm forced to, I'm a high-performance athlete baby. But I'm on a break, so I'll have a coke, thank you very much" you laughed at him. He was holding your hand and tried to kiss you, wrapping his arm around you, you didn't dodge his kiss, you would never, but still laughed at the fact he wanted to kiss the sweaty mess you were right now.

"I'm gross, only you" you laughed.

"That's my baby, with no makeup she a ten" he rapped shrugging and grinning.

"Alright Lil Wayne, I know that one, don't even finish the verse" you laughed at him, making him laugh out loud, getting everyone's in the restaurant's attention.

"It's true, though"

"Sure..." You just shook your head smiling. Then you heard someone call his name.

"Hey! Daniel!" you both turned around to see Charles and Charlotte sitting in a corner, him waving at you two. You had met Charles a couple of times before but never spoke too much to him. They seemed to be leaving anyway, so they walked towards you guys, instead of towards the door.

"Hey mate, how's it going?" Daniel greeted him with a handshake. "Hey, Charlotte! You know (y/n) yet?"

"Hi! I don't think so, hi! How are you?" she greeted you smiling.

"Hi! Nice to meet you. Hi, Charles!" you said.

"Hey, (y/n). You're keeping him in line during the break? Char won't let me cheat my diet either" he laughed.

"Oh, that ship has sailed long ago! Daniel will just roll into the paddock if it's up to him" you laughed back.

"Hey! I think I've earned the right to some extra calories, we've been working out extra hard lately" Daniel said waving his eyebrows suggestively, making Charlotte giggle, Charles rolls his eyes and you go even redder than you were from the actual workout, while he just laughed out loud.

"I don't even want to know" Charles said. "Always great running into you mate" he was getting ready to say goodbye.

"Are we seeing you guys tomorrow?" Charlotte asked you.

"Tomorrow?" you asked her.

"Stefano's birthday" she said like it was obvious. Stefano Domenicali was the President and CEO of Formula 1, but you didn't know that yet - still, her tone made it seems like it was someone Daniel knew, so you just looked at him. He just rubbed his neck, looking a little embarrassed. "Oh, wait. Please tell me I didn't just said something I shouldn't" she looked at Charles.

"No, no. He invited me. Us, actually" Daniel reassured her. "I don't think we're going though, forgot to mention to you" he said looking at you.

"Uh mate, I wouldn't skip that if I were you. He didn't even invite all the drivers I heard" Charles said. "Maybe just stop by to say hello?"

"Stop by... a yacht... at the sea?" Charlotte said grinning at him. Daniel looked at you.

"You feel like going? It should be fun" he asked you.

"Sounds fancy... I mean, I don't mind if you go" you said.

"Common... I’m not going alone" he nudged you.

"I don't even have anything to wear, Dan" you told him.

"Oh! We can go shopping together!" Charlotte said and you had almost forgotten they were still there.

"Perfect!" Daniel answered for you. You could only imagine the types of stores she shopped.

"Tomorrow morning, then? Daniel can text your address to Charles for me? I'll pick you up!" she was being really nice about it.

"I thought you wanted to go today?" Charles said.

"That's when I thought I would have to go shopping with you, so I could use the extra time since you're the worst shopping partner ever!" she laughed at him.

"Burn!" Daniel laughed.

"His fashion taste is not the most reliable, let's face it" she laughed and kissed his cheek. "It's a date then (y/n)?" she looked expectantly at you. You didn't want to let her down, it was so hard to make friends with the girlfriends of other drivers, they were usually so... not nice. You could always just help her and find something to wear in your own stuff later.

"Yeah, sure! See you tomorrow, at 10?" you said simply.

"Perfect!" she beamed.

>>> end of part 1 <<<

#daniel ricciardo #daniel ricciardo fanfic #Daniel ricciardo fluff #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo fic #f1 fic #f1 fanfic

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ot3tropetober · 4 years ago

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Eliot and Hardison are travel journalists for rival publications who keep showing up in the same places

Fic for this (~3500 words) is below the read more! Some notes:

[backstory on why Hardison is writing these comes from this post]

[Eliot, Parker, and Hardison are all commenting on this document, think of it like the chat in Google drive? In-document comments from Eliot are italicized, from Hardison are in bold, and from Parker are plain text]

By the time Will Coffey stepped off the plane in Dallas, all he wanted was a nice long shower and to sleep in his own bed for once. Being a travel journalist for a leading travel magazine had its perks– a month-long trip across Mexico, for example, all expenses paid or at least reimbursed – but after a month on the road he was dead tired and ready to be home.

Is this supposed to be me? Why am I living in Dallas?

Yes, and also, you don’t actually live in Dallas, Eliot, you live here, in Portland, with us.

I know that, I just– you know what, never mind.

Well, Will Coffey likes Dallas.

I am Will Coffey!!

That’s the spirit.

The other thing about being on the road for a living was that sometimes it felt kinda lonely, and as relieved as he was to be home, the first couple of minutes after he walked in, turned on the lights, and looked around at an empty place, that was always a little bittersweet. But the only other person he’d really seen in any kind of serious capacity the whole time he’d had this gig was a fellow traveler who spent just as much time on the road as he did, so it just kinda was what it was. He set his keys and his bag down and headed to the kitchen for a beer, but he hadn’t even opened his fridge when his phone buzzed a couple times. It was a text from Sarah, his editor. He’d known her forever– they shared a couple classes in college. Now they shared the stress of managing a print publication in an increasingly digital world.

“Did you see this?” she had written. There was a link in the next message. “How does this guy get this stuff up so fast?“

Will already knew what he was gonna find before he clicked the link, and sure enough, it directed him to a popular travel blog called The Travel Geek, which was a ridiculous name for a travel blog but people absolutely went wild for it. Will liked it too, not that he would ever really admit it, but that probably had more to do with the guy who ran it than anything else. They had…not a thing, exactly? It was hard to explain whatever was going on with Jeremy Edwards, who by rights Will should probably hate for stealing his stories and his audience. But the problem with that was mainly that the guy was so goddamn likeable.

I’m guessing that’s you.

You would be correct.

You think I think you’re likeable?

No, I know it.

he is pretty likeable

Yeah, yeah.

Will had met Jeremy a couple of years ago, right when he was just starting out with his blog. Jeremy said he’d been reading Will’s stuff for a while and would love some advice from a pro. It wasn’t like Will didn’t know it was a little bit of flattery, and it wasn’t like he didn’t know it was a little bit of flirting, either. It also wasn’t like Jeremy was bad to look at. So Will said sure, he’d be glad to, and they were in Belgium, so they shared some beers, ate fries from a baraque at one in the morning on a park bench, shoulders pressed together, while Will tipsily rhapsodized about gaufre de Liège while Jeremy laughed and laughed.

I have never *rhapsodized* about anything in my damn life.

Have you heard you talk about food? This is not a criticism. I could listen to that all day.

Nothing really happened, in the end, just a good conversation and the promise to keep in touch. That turned out to be easier than it should have been, because they started covering the same damn things, all the time. One big world, and somehow they were always sharing part of it: Will was in India on a camel safari through the Thar Desert, and Jeremy was there, keeping Will up at night tappity tapping on his keyboard. Or Will was in Oatman, Arizona, for a piece on Route 66, and there was Jeremy, taking selfies with the wild burros roaming the streets of the town. Or Will was traveling around Japan, doing a feature on onsens, and Jeremy was there, too, acting like he wasn’t looking in Will’s direction while they sat, very naked, in the soothing hot water. It went on like that for a while until finally one night in Barcelona, in front of Sagrada Familia, he looked at Jeremy, tall and handsome in this absurd brightly patterned scarf, and said, “This is ridiculous, man,” and pulled him in for a long, lingering kiss.

Do you honestly think it would have taken me that long?

I don’t know, baby, it took your cowboy ass five years in real time, so Will’s doing a lot better than you.

OoooooooOooo

We had a lot goin on!!! And what is that supposed to be, parker? are you some kind of ghost?

it made more sense in person

I’ll take your word for it.

It wasn’t a relationship, exactly. It was just something they did, sometimes, if they happened to run into each other on the road. It wasn’t like he was getting invited home for the holidays, or anything, and he was fine with that, really. The long and short of it was, they’d basically been circling each other for years now, professionally, personally, whatever, but the professional stuff was definitely getting in the way of anything else. Because Will would sit down and write out his long, detailed articles with carefully selected photographs that would look just right on the page, while Jeremy had already turned out quick blog entry after quick blog entry, listing off places people should visit with witty little one sentence summaries, and people just ate it right up with a spoon while Adventure., Will’s magazine, slowly saw its sales circling the drain. It stung a little. Maybe more than a little. It wasn’t like he could say the guy wasn’t working hard, but damn. Hell, the best selling issue they’d had in a couple years was the one where Sarah had masterminded a collaboration between Will and Jeremy. Blogging was definitely here to stay.

That night in Belgium was five years ago, and at the time it seemed impossible that the internet would ever really fully overtake print. But bloggers and phones had both gotten smarter over the last five years, and now everyone wanted their news in little chunks that they could read on a screen during their commute, so travel blogs were the hot new thing. Will grimaced as he looked at the blog entries Jeremy already had up from Mexico, where they’d run into each other at least half a dozen times.

Five Reasons You Need to Visit Mexico City Right Now; What You’re Missing Because You’re Not in Monterrey; Everything You Wanted to Know About Agave But Were Too Afraid to Ask

“You gotta be kidding me with this,” he muttered, staring at his phone and thinking about the half-written article he had saved on his laptop detailing the history of agave and how to experience Jalisco as more than just the birthplace of tequila.

He pulled up Sarah’s number and dialed.

“I don’t know how we can compete with this,” he sighed, when she picked up.

“We’re going to have to adapt,” she said. “You know that. I can hear you making a face."

"I don’t want to blog,” he complained. “I like print."

"I know,” she sighed. “I’m working on it. Anyway, I’m glad you called, I was going to call you. I need you to go to Italy. Flight leaves tomorrow."

"No way. Not interested,” he told her. “I just got back to my apartment, Sarah, I’ve been in Mexico for a month. I’m beat."

"It’s not my fault that you spend half your time on extracurricular activities,” she teased.

“You can just say sex,” he said. “I won’t be offended. And it’s not half my time. Like, maybe twenty-five percent. Anyway, I get the job done."

"Yeah, and you’re very good at it, which is why I need you to go to Italy,” she said.

“I’m not saying yes,” he told her, “and I’m not interested. But what’s in Italy that’s so important for me to get to?"

"You’ll love this one,” Sarah promised. “It’s a food festival."

Okay, maybe he was a little interested. "Oh?”

“Yeah,” she said. His phone buzzed in his ear. “I just emailed you the details. Including your flight info."

"Dammit, Sarah–"

"Oops, emergency, the printer’s on fire, gotta go!” she chirped, and the line disconnected.

Yeah okay that’s Parker huh

Yep!

I do know y'all a little bit.

“Dammit,” Will said again, and opened Sarah’s email to read up on his next destination.

The food festival turned out to be a week long international celebration of local food from around the world. It only happened once every few years in October, when a world of people descended on the city of Torino, and more specifically the park by the River Po, where they set up tents and stands and served pretty much every kind of food you could imagine, and Will loved food and could imagine a lot, so that was saying something. It was pretty cool, seeing all these people from all over the planet showing off food that was important to them, sharing it with strangers. It really was the whole planet, too, the way the park was set up you could walk through a continent at a time, with all the countries on it represented at their own space. He figured he’d pay his respects to the hosts first and start with Italy, which was definitely the largest section. Halfway through the displays he found a stall with some folks from Campania selling fresh mozzarella di bufala the size of his fist for a Euro. It was speared on a stick like a candy apple so he could walk around with it, nibbling on the sweet cheese as he checked out the festival’s other offerings. Aged cheeses covered in mud and straw from a little town in France. A swanky tent with wood plank floors where the Filipino agriculture offices had a set up with big displays dedicated to traditional food and heirloom crops. Six different kinds of wild rice were layered in a glass display bottle in the booth dedicated to Indigenous agriculture in North America. There were folks from the Yucatan peninsula displaying cured meats and wild honey. There was a whole series of displays about preserving, protecting, and raising Maasai red sheep, from Kenya. The whole event was really impressive, actually, and even though his body had no idea what time zone he was in, he didn’t feel too tired– although that might have been more because he’d been downing every cup of coffee from anyone selling it.

Okay, this actually sounds pretty cool. But now you gotta fake a whole food festival like this if we ever use these aliases.

I don’t have to. That’s a real thing. Happens every couple of years. I was gonna ask if you wanted to go to the next one. Parker can probably find us a job after, anyway.

I’d love– like that.

Hardison. HARDISON.

Why isn’t this deleting the things I tell it to delete???

Ooh, forgot to tell y'all, this chat records your keystrokes? You know. Just in case you happen to type something sappy about how much you love me, and then delete it before you send it in the chat. Pretty much exactly what just happened.

Dammit Hardison I’m gonna delete YOU

Baby, that doesn’t even make any sense.

im w hardison on this 1. it’s ok if u love things eliot. especially food . or us

Just let me finish reading Hardison’s make believe story so I can get back to dinner prep, ok?

(he loves us)

I know :)

Will strolled around the park, snapping photos here and there, jotting down notes. He talked to folks from all over who came here to run their country’s booths, locals who had come out to enjoy the day, and people who had traveled long distances to be there. After a couple of hours and a really good lunch, he found an unoccupied bench near the river and posted up there for a while, notebook open next to him as he flipped through photos on his phone, the story he could tell about this event already starting to take shape in his head, and he had to admit, at least to himself, that Sarah had been right about this one. Nobody else on their staff knew food enough to get this right. But even though he had a good idea where to start, he couldn’t help feeling a little overwhelmed, too. You could spend two weeks here and still not talk to everybody, and it seemed important to try, somehow.

“Well, well, well,” said a voice, and Will looked up from his phone and his notes to see the tall form of none other than Jeremy Edwards.

“Dammit, Edwards,” Will swore. “You’ve gotta be kidding me. Again?"

Yeah it’s pretty much EXACTLY like that every time

Mmmhmm. You talk a big game, man, but no one here believes you.

What he said ur like that stuff u put on the dessert u made 4 us last wk

Stuff on dessert– the Italian meringue? You really comparing me to Italian meringue?!

Is that the stuff that was kinda hard and crunchy on the outside but actually really soft and sweet inside?

Yep that’s the stuff

This is the worst conversation we’ve ever had.

It’s weird how I can hear you smiling right now, though.

Shut up, Hardison, I’m reading.

Got him! XD

"Looks like it,” Jeremy said. He took a seat next to Will on the bench, despite the fact that Will had absolutely not fucking offered it to him. He grinned. Will looked back at his notes before he smiled back. “We’ve really gotta stop meeting like this."

"Yeah, well, trust me, I’m working on it,” Will grumbled, and risked a look at Jeremy again. Still handsome, and still smiling, unfortunately. He thought about the blog a little and made himself frown. “So, you’re here to blog about this, huh? How many blog posts have you done already?"

"None so far,” Jeremy said, scratching his chin, “but I am working on one right now. Tentative title, How to Tell The Guy You’re Casually Seeing And Have Been Chasing All Over the Globe That His Boss Sent Me Here To Work With Him."

Well, there was a lot of information there, but Will decided maybe sticking with the professional stuff was better for now. "I’m sorry, you’re here for what?"

Jeremy shrugged. "Sarah really liked that collaboration thing she got us to do last year, I guess, wanted to try it again for this. I said yes. It’s good for your magazine and it gives my blog some credibility with all you snooty print folks."

"We’re not snooty,” Will said, although that wasn’t exactly true. Maybe they were, a little. He unlocked his phone and saw the email from Sarah, the subject line of which read: “DON’T ARGUE IT WILL BE GOOD FOR YOU/US/THE MAGAZINE.” He sighed and looked back at Jeremy. “I can’t believe she sent you to a food thing."

"I’m offended,” Jeremy said, although it didn’t much sound like it. “I know food."

"Oh really? So last year when we were in Beijing and you were looking for a McDonald’s that was just you knowing food, huh,” Will drawled.

“Sometimes you just really want a Happy Meal,” Jeremy joked, and Will just shook his head.

“I guess we should figure out what we’re doing, then,” he said, and Jeremy raised his eyebrows.

“About the story,” he said, “right?"

"Yeah, about the story,” Will grumbled.

“Whatever you say,” Jeremy said affably, just like always.

It was actually pretty easy to figure out how to cover the festival now that he had a partner in crime. They worked out a plan that afternoon, sketched out a couple of pieces, a collab for Adventure., a short guest piece for Will on The Travel Geek, and a short story in the magazine for Jeremy. Sarah signed off on everything from afar– “What time is it where she is? Does that woman ever sleep?” Jeremy asked, as they both got email after email. “I don’t think she does, man,” Will laughed– and they got to work pretty quick. There was plenty to do and they were both here for a few days, so they wandered through the park as they worked, stopping occasionally to sample food or take photos. Eventually they walked all the way out of the park and into the city, up to a big plaza, Piazza Castello, in the center of the historic part of town. They got gelato from one of the many carts set up nearby for the festival, and sat outside, eating and talking as the sun set.

It was nice. It was always nice, when they ran into each other. That wasn’t the problem. But they’d been stuck in the same routine for years now: they’d find themselves in the same place, Jeremy would laugh, Will would pretend he was annoyed, and then they’d spend a good chunk of their time together enjoying each other’s company in as many ways as they could find, and then they’d head to the airport and go their separate ways. And that was that. This shouldn’t be any different, but somehow it was. Maybe it was the sunset lighting up Jeremy’s skin, or maybe he’d just been lonely too long, but maybe they needed to figure out what they were doing with more than just the stories they were here to tell.

“You wanna get dinner?” Will said, before he could talk himself out of it.

“Yeah,” Jeremy said, smiling again, and this time Will let himself smile back. Just a little.

They asked around for recommendations and ended up at a little restaurant in the city, a few blocks from the Piazza. They split a bottle of wine, a margherita pizza, and some perfectly fried fish, and they didn’t really talk about work at all.

“You know,” Jeremy said, about halfway through the wine, “not for nothing, but I’ve gotta say, this looks and feels a lot like a date."

"I wasn’t under the impression that you’d be opposed to that,” Will said.

“Oh, I’m not opposed,” Jeremy told him, “I’m just a little surprised you’re asking. I figured at this point it was gonna have to be me who said something."

Will eyed him carefully, thought back to a lot of nights on a lot of trips. "How long exactly have you been waiting around?"

"I mean, don’t get the wrong idea, here, I haven’t been pining away for you like some Victorian in a bad novel,” Jeremy said, and Will snorted. “But yeah. I played a long game, man. I gotta say, though, after that fishing boat incident in Guyana I really thought you figured out we had a thing."

"Yeah, well, I didn’t have time to notice, I was too busy taking pictures of you hiding behind that skinny British guy when that big old fish jumped out of the water,” Will snickered.

“Big old– that thing was two-hundred and thirty-four pounds of ichthyological torpedo headed straight for yours truly,” Jeremy said, and Will chuckled. “Big doesn’t really describe it.”

“Hmm. It was kinda wild he thought we were gonna get in the water with it,” Will mused. He winked. “Glad you finally remembered you owed me dinner for keeping him from pushing us into the river."

"Ha. You know Sarah wants us to work with that guy again, right?"

"Aw, hell,” Will said. “Really?"

"Yeah,” Jeremy confirmed. “She said she was gonna talk to you about it when we got back from this. Canada this time, so when Mister Fisherman tries to throw me in the water at least the hypothermia will probably get me before the monster fish does."

"Nah,” Will said. “Don’t worry about that. Nobody throws you off a fishing boat. Except maybe me. No. Well. Maybe. No,” he concluded.

Hah. I mean, okay, that does sound like me.

Oh, I am aware, trust me.

“Sarah maybe also mentioned we might do a few more of these little…collaborative things,” Jeremy said, drawing invisible circles on the table. “Maybe even in a more formal capacity."

Will raised his eyebrows. "No way she talked you into giving up the blog."

"Oh, definitely not,” Jeremy said. “But funnily enough, people keep sending me emails about wanting a print version of some of my photographs? But I don’t really have the publishing connections. A magazine, though…” he shrugged. “Me and Sarah figured we might come to some kind of mutually beneficial arrangement, somehow. Might be seeing more of you, is what I’m trying to say."

"Can’t say I mind that,” Will said, and reached out across the table to cover Jeremy’s hand with his.

“I was hoping you’d say that,” Jeremy answered, and this time Will didn’t try to hide his smile.

/end

Okay?

Okay, what?

Well where the hell is the rest of it?

What rest of it? It’s clearly implied that they’re dating now. They’re dating, they’re happy, they’re gonna work together for real, happily ever after, et cetera.

they should have at least kissed. i would be into that

This is what I’m saying. Where’s the resolution, here?

Baby, anytime you want a kiss, you know where to find me.

What I want is for you to take this seriously since you’re making us read all of it.

Wow, okay. Here:

They walked around the city for a long time after dinner, still holding hands, and the kiss they shared later under the moonlight felt like a promise. The Actual End.

Y'all happy?

too sappy 4 me but idk what eliot thinks

Not your best work but it’ll do, I guess.

Are you still in the kitchen?

Yeah, why?

I’m gonna come give you a demonstration of my best work, that’s why.

Bring it on, man.

do i get a demo too

You know it.

#author: coffeesuperhero #leverage ot3 #parker x hardison x eliot #hardison x eliot #leverage #ot3tropetober #submission

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burgers-and-french-fries · 4 years ago

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Eggsy Unwin: Christmas Miracle.

Note: This is a scheduled post. I hope that you enjoy this imagine. I had fun working on this. Please forgive me if the grammar and whatnot is a little more wonky than usual, it’s late at night.

For the Country of choice, I went with Brussels in Belgium. I did a little research and according to google, you can travel by train until you are 37 weeks. So with that being said, please don’t come at me for writing this imagine how I did.

Anyway, let’s move on shall we.

Imagine for: @dogmom2014

Request: Eggsy x reader are on vacation somewhere snowy ( I can’t think of a place🤦🏼‍♀️) . The reader is pregnant and goes into labor while they are on vacation. They can’t get anywhere because of the weather. Eggsy being the amazing spy and someone who is talented decides to deliver their baby where they’re staying. Reader ends up giving birth on Christmas, up to you ?

===

Christmas may be the most magical time of the year but it was not a time that you wanted to be travelling at all. The crazed mass of people running around like headless chickens and leaving havoc in their wake. Being 36 weeks pregnant and travelling? Emma wanted to kill Eggsy for even suggesting that they should spend Christmas somewhere else, just the two of them before the birth of their baby.

“This is going to be so good.” Eggsy said as he leaned back in his train seat. Emma grunted and struggled to get comfortable.

“Are we there yet?” Emma grumbled. Eggsy looked at her with sympathy. He looked at his watch and nodded.

“One more hour and then we can relax.” Eggsy replied. Emma huffed and rubbed her face.

“Remind me to never put you in charge of Christmas again.” Emma said, closing her eyes in the hopes that she could sleep the last hour off to make everything go faster. Thankfully for her, she barely closed her eyes and it felt like Eggsy was waking her up to tell her that they had arrived.

Before too long, Emma was laid on the large king sized bed running her hand over the bump and playing little games with the unborn baby in her belly. Eggsy was busy unpacking everything like he’d promised he would and smiled every time he heard Emma’s giggles.

“Why don’t you come and relax. You can unpack later.” Emma said after a little while. Eggy smiled at her and hung up the last shirt.

“All done.” He replied, coming over to her. He leaned down and captured her lips in a very slow and tender kiss, one that sends tingles and shivers all over your body; giving you a warm and fuzzy feeling.

“I love you.” Emma sighed.

“I love you too.” Eggsy replied, crawling next to her.

The Christmas vacation was going well until midnight on Christmas day when Emma’s waters decided to break unexpectedly. She woke up with a start and when she realized that she was practically laying in a puddle of fluid, her first instinct was to wake her dead to the world boyfriend.

“Eggsy!” Emma shouted whilst slapping his bare arm after having no success of waking him before this point.

“OW!” He screeched, jolting upright and rubbing his arm. Emma simply grunted lowly as a very intensely painful contraction tore through her body rendering her speechless. Eggsy got the message when he felt the warmth of the wet patch touching his leg.

“Breathe baby.” He coached, earning himself a very dark glare. He knew that she was capable of breathing but he also knew that when she was in situations of intense pain, she tended to panic. When the contraction was over, Eggsy kissed her cheek and got out of bed and made his way around to her side so that he could help her into the shower to get cleaned up.

An hour later, Emma’s contractions seemed to slow down somewhat and she was able to relax a little more. Eggsy on the other hand was silently freaking out as he knew full well that they wouldn’t be able to get to a hospital due to all the snow that had fallen the previous day. He took a deep breath and readied himself for the impending birth of his child in which he would have to deliver their son or daughter.

“How are you doing Emma?” He asked, coming into the room where she laid in a fresh bed that the housekeeping staff changed for them after Eggsy explained what was happening. The staff were more than happy to help and provide the couple with whatever they needed when it came time for the little Unwin to be born.

“I hate you for suggesting we go away for Christmas because now we are stuck in another country, I hurt and I have no idea who the hell is going to deliver the baby because the weather is so fucking stupid right now.” Emma said as she felt another contraction hit her and felt another gush of her waters leak from her.

Eggsy hurried to her side and coached her through the contractions. As much as Emma hated the situation, he was so glad that she had Eggsy with her. He was her rock and her steady hand in an unknown situation.

“That’s it baby. You got this.” He encouraged as Emma squeezed his hand and grunted a low but very loud moan, making sure to breathe as well.

“I hate this.” Emma whined when she was able to breathe normally again. Eggsy simply smiled and rubbed her arm.

“Why don’t we try and relax for a bit and hopefully you can get some more sleep before the baby gets here.” He suggested. Emma nodded before Eggsy helped her to lay down. He went as far as tucking her in before going around to his side of the bed, climbing in and getting comfortable himself.

“I love you Em.” He whispered, hoping that his tone would help calm her and keep her not so panicked.

“I love you too.” She replied, rolling over and resting her head on his chest so that she could be as close to him as she could get with her bump in the way. Eggsy held her close and hummed to her, eventually making her fall asleep.

Eggsy watched Emma sleep. He watched the flutter of her eyelids while she dreamed. He saw the corners of her mouth curl up in a slight smile as though she had seen something that made her happy, it made him wonder if she was dreaming of their baby that was on its way. Whatever the case, it truly warmed his heart. His Emma was a warrior and he would always be proud of her and everything she had been through. She was his warrior and always would be.

At 7:50am, Emma woke up with the most horrendous contraction she had felt yet. She knew that she needed to go through this pain if she wanted the end result but at this point, she was so beyond exhausted, even if she had just had a nap.

“I’m gonna be sick.” Emma stuttered. Eggsy rubbed circles on her belly and told her to breathe. She listened to him and the sick feeling soon passed and more and more contractions took its place.

“The sick feeling just means that the baby is moving down. That’s a good thing.” Eggsy told her, hoping to ease her mind. Emma smiled gratefully and closed her eyes to focus on her breathing. Once her current contraction ended, she looked up at her boyfriend and started crying.

“Oh darling, what’s the matter?” He asked, seeing her tears.

“I’m scared.” She admitted. Eggsy held her even closer and kissed the top of her head.

“Don’t be. We are in this together. Until I hear our baby cry, you are my main focus now.” He reassured her. Emma hid her face in his chest and took a deep breath as she rode the pain of another contraction.

“I need to sit up.” Emma spoke up. Eggsy did as she said and helped her. Something told him that he had to check her and make sure that everything was going smoothly.

“Can I check you?” Eggsy asked. Emma looked at him puzzled.

“I need to see how far along you are.” He told her. Emma nodded and prepared herself for her boyfriend’s fingers going deeper than she was used to. Feeling what he knew to the baby’s head, he smiled brightly.

“I can feel the top of the baby’s head.” He said. Emma’s brows rose in surprise and then her face changed to a look of pure fear. Eggsy did his best to calm her before he quickly made a call to the front desk to ask for what he knew he needed for the delivery.

Everything seemed to happen so fast. People came in and out of the room with God knows what and in the middle of that, Eggsy was washing his hands and removing his long sleeved shirt so that he could keep his focus on one thing, his girlfriend.

“Emma, just focus on me and ignore everyone else.” Eggsy said as he removed the blanket that covered her and replaced it with a thin sheet, making sure to move it so that he could see what he needed to.

“How the hell do you know all this?” She asked with a shaky tone. Eggsy smiled his million dollar smile and of course sent her the very same wink that she fell in love with.

“That’s for me to know love. I promise that it will be ok. Just listen to my voice.” He replied. Emma wanted to respond but she couldn’t when she had the sharpest pressure in her vagina. She shifted awkwardly, alerting Eggsy.

“Fuck!” Emma practically screamed. Eggsy immediately got to work and helped Emma through the worst pain she had ever felt.

“Fucking push Emma.” Eggsy said firmly after Emma had told him that she couldn’t push anymore.

“Eggsy I can’t!” She bellowed. Eggsy locked eyes with her and she stopped.

“If you want this to end, you had better fucking push.” He warned. Emma listened, knowing he meant business. With all her strength, Emma pushed with all her might and that’s when she felt the ring of fire and the pain that almost caused her to pass out.

“Push Emma!” Eggsy snapped when he could see her pushing weaken a little. Emma gave all she had and a few seconds later, the baby’s head had passed through hell’s ring.

“That’s it. Baby head is out.” Eggsy said as tears started clouding his vision. Emma opened her eyes and started crying, knowing that soon all of her pain would end and she could meet their surprise baby.

“I need you to give me small pushes now. Nothing too hard.” Eggsy said, bringing Emma through the final stages of pushing. Emma did as she was told and soon enough, she could feel the baby slip from her and of course there was the fact that the baby seemed to have their daddy’s set of lungs.

Arms and legs flailed about as Eggsy looked down at his little boy. He cut the cord and wrapped the healthy boy into a baby blanket that the staff had brought up to them. He passed the baby to Emma who could barely see due to the many joyous tears falling from her eyes.

“Hello you.” Emma said as she held the baby close. She still had no idea what the gender was but she knew that Eggsy would tell her in due course.

“Our son.” Eggsy said as he and Emma relaxed in the bed that he helped the poor staff change once again. The staff assured him that there was no apologies needed and that they were happy for some exciting gossip that they were sure would be spoken about for a while.

“He needs a name.” Emma whispered as the boy looked up at his parents. Eggsy ran his index finger down his son’s face and sniffled. Emma looked at him and kissed Eggsy’s cheek.

“I think Harrold Gary Lee Unwin suits him. It’s a good strong name.” Emma said, looking at her now dozy son. Eggsy started crying all over again and this time, hid his face as best he could in Emma’s shoulder.

“Hello my boy.” Eggsy said when he had calmed himself. Little Harry wrapped his small hands around his parents index finger, making them beam down on him with the utmost pride and joy.

“Our Christmas miracle.” Eggsy and Emma whispered in unison before celebrating with the sweetest of tender kisses and a well deserved nap.

===

#taronegerton #dad!taron #dad!eggsy #childbirth #homebirth #daddeliversbaby #spy #Kingsman #taronegertonimagines #12 days of christmas #december27 #day3

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sytycdinternational · 4 years ago

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Eurovision 2021 pre-show ranking #26 - #1

I know the rehearsals are already out but I’m not gonna take them into account for this ranking since I might as well just do a ranking of the actual broadcasted live performances then. Ideally the following songs would be part of my dream final on Saturday. #39-#25

26. VICTORIA - Growing Up Is Getting Old - Bulgaria 🇧🇬: I begrudgingly accept Victoria's decision choosing this over "imaginary friend" (she seemed to have visible troubles singing it live after all) but gosh, it’s kind of hard for me to warm up to this. "imaginary friend" figuratively moved me to another plane of existence. I do think this song has the perfect set up for some amazing staging. (2020/2021)

25. Blind Channel - Dark Side - Finland 🇫🇮: Yesss Finland, give me that darkness. I wish I could unhear the lyrics tho because it’s teetering pretty close to edge territory. Okay, I guess it has crossed that threshold long ago, but still, rock songs are a rarity on this show that I will cherish no matter their flaws. (2020/2021)

24. Hurricane - LOCO LOCO - Serbia 🇷🇸: They’ve come to slay like a tropical weather phenomenon. I can already see the shreds of their fellow competitors lining their path. (2020/2021)

23. Blas Cantó - Voy A Quedarme - Spain 🇪🇸: It took a tone-downed, more intimate acoustic version for this me to connect with this song, but somehow it managed to flip a switch and now I get incredibly emotional even when I listen to the official version. I’d definitely prefer the acoustic version to be performed on the actual show though. (2020/2021)

22. Jeangu Macrooy - Birth Of A New Age - The Netherlands 🇳🇱: The lyrics feel refreshingly meaningful. It fills me with real warmth and good vibes as a whole. (2020/2021)

21. Anxhela Peristeri - Karma - Albania 🇦🇱: Albania is bringing drama and I’m living for it. Very effective revamp to make the song more memorable. (2020/2021)

20. Samanta Tina - The Moon is Rising - Latvia 🇱🇻: What’s up with that dreadful “eh EH eh EH” background track?? It’s driving me up the wall. Still, I’m floored by Samanta’s powerful vocals. It’s a pity the final misses the actual blood moon occurence, the lunar ecplise on May 26 by a few days. Oh well, it’s not like it can be seen from Europe this time anyway. (2020/2021)

19. The Roop - Discoteque - Lithuania 🇱🇹: The Roop really took their song from last year and turned it dark and in order to balance it out they changed the colors of their outfits to bright yellow. During all this some of the hypnotic qualities of “On Fire” was lost but the new song is still lots of quirky fun. (2020/2021)

18. Ana Soklič - Amen - Slovenia 🇸🇮: Simply glorious. What a woman, what a voice. The way the song develops is bombastic. (2020/2021)

17. Natalia Gordienko - SUGAR - Moldova 🇲🇩: The refrain and the rest of the song sound so mismatched to me lol. Still, the contrast between the bright sugary visuals and somewhat darkish, even sinister tone of the music is doing it for me. (2020/2021)

16. Montaigne - Technicolour - Australia 🇦🇺: I can’t stand “Don’t Break Me”, so Montaigne doing a 180 degree turn was well appreciated. This sounds sooo difficult to sing so total props for that. Hope she nails it during the liveshows. (2020/2021)

15. Lesley Roy - Maps - Ireland 🇮🇪: This gives me enough energy to travel the Irish plains all on my own. Gosh, I miss travelling. (2020/2021)

14. The Black Mamba - Love Is On My Side - Portugal 🇵🇹: Never got the hype for “Dancing in the Stars“, so if Portugal had to send a song in English I’m glad it ended up being this one. I love Tatanka’s raspy voice and the song just oozes style as a whole. I was surprised how bittersweet the lyrics actually are after listening more closely and that makes me like it even more. (2020/2021)

13. Måneskin - Zitti E Buoni - Italy 🇮🇹: F*CK ME UP. I have high hopes for you, Italy. Also I’m totally over the fact that Irama was not able to perform live on San Remo this year due to Covid-related issues and thus surrendered any realistic chances of "La genesi del tuo colore" taking the win and competing on ESC, I swear I am *sobs* (2020/2021)

12. Daði og Gagnamagnið - 10 Years - Iceland 🇮🇸: That bait and switch at the start kills me. I also unironically like this a lot more than “Think About Things”. (2020/2021)

11. Manizha - Russian Woman - Russia 🇷🇺: Are my ears deceiving me? A Russian entry that is NOT an inoffensive pop ballad in English playing it totally safe? I guess Little Big for 2020 was not an anomaly after all. I LOVE the traditional-sounding chanting used for the chorus and the energy is infectious. (2020/2021)

10. Efendi - Mata Hari - Azerbaijan 🇦🇿: Another entry, another banger. I love her harsh pronounciation of the lyrics. (2020/2021)

9. Destiny - Je Me Casse - Malta 🇲🇹: Talk about a glow-up from last year. Malta is absolutely bringing the funk and the sass. (2020/2021)

8. Vasil - Here I Stand - North Macedonia 🇲🇰: This song is FEELINGS and I totally feel it! Ugh, I’m such a softie for heartfelt, breaking-down-your-emotional-walls-type of songs. (2020/2021)

7. Eden Alene - Set Me Free - Israel 🇮🇱: The revamp catapulted this song from the very bottom of my list to this spot. It’s little things like the inflection after “on my own” among others that make this song such a joy to listen to. So many little details to explore. (2020/2021)

6. Elena Tsagrinou - El Diablo - Cyprus 🇨🇾: Another year, another powerhouse of a song by Cyprus. This is my favorite by far out of the last few years though, even surpassing “Fuego”, judging alone by the song itself. The drop literally takes my breath away. (2020/2021)

5. Albina - Tick-Tock - Croatia 🇭🇷: Who knew Croatia would deliver the catchiest beat this year? (2020/2021)

4. Stefania - Last Dance - Greece 🇬🇷: Say hello to Dua Lipa “Physical”’s long-lost sister. And just like the former I have the latter playing non-stop. I have yet to get sick of it. It gets me so pumped up, I love it. (2020/2021)

3. Gjon's Tears - Tout l’Univers - Switzerland 🇨🇭: Sensitive. Sublime. Majestic. It was like witnessing the ocean at high and low tide. At one moment deceivingly calm, the next I’m swept away by a riptide of thundering sounds and delicious falsetto. (2020/2021)

2. Go_A - SHUM - Ukraine 🇺🇦: I literally spasmed out in ecstatic bliss when I first listened to this. I think it was some kind of combination of Kateryna's piercing vocals that strike right through my hear, the intoxicating ethnic elements and droning bass, all delivered at an ever increasing speed that drove me into a literal ethno-rave-fuelled frenzy. (2020/2021)

1. Barbara Pravi - Voilà - France 🇫🇷: The first time I saw Barbara’s national final performance I was transfixed. I was clinging to every word escaping her lips, my heart almost stopping at each moment my ears weren't filled with her angelic voice. I was flooded with all kinds of emotions, particularly with an existential longing for something I couldn’t possibly describe. Excellent use of monochrome lighting and costumes as well which I’m sure was supposed to emulate the feeling of black-and-white films of the past. (2020/2021)

Predicting the results:

Qualifiers #1 Semi-Final:

Australia

Azerbaijan

Cyprus

Israel

Lithuania

Malta

Norway

Russia

Sweden

Ukraine

Belgium

Croatia

Ireland

North Macedonia

Romania

Slovenia

Qualifiers #2 Semi-Final:

Albania

Bulgaria

Finland

Greece

Iceland

Portugal

San Marino

Serbia

Switzerland

Austria

Czech Republic

Denmark

Estonia

Georgia

Latvia

Moldova

Poland

#ESC 2021 #Eurovision #Eurovision2021 #ESC2021 #Eurovision 2021 #rankings #text

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mertronus · 4 years ago

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Secret Mission - Chapter 8 (Epilogue)

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who read and gave feedback on my first fic, I appreciate you all so much and now truly know the power of commenting on others fics when I read them. (I tended to usually leave a review but now more than ever I definitely will! Your reviews really lit up my little heart!)

Here's the conclusion, tie up some loose ends...and let's not forget, Hermione had a secret of her own didn't she?

****

"So," Hermione said softly, "Harry tracked down the two witnesses who heard McLaggen?" She was lying in Ron's childhood bed with him, his orange Chudley Canons blanket draped haphazardly over their glistening bare bodies as she listened to him recount the events of the morning. They were entwined in an intimate post-coital embraced as her delicate, ink-stained fingers toyed wit his long, calloused fingers lazily - almost as if they were conducting a slow, mesmerizing dance in mid-air. Ron's return followed immediately by the wedding, reception and basically spending the entire day celebrating the newlyweds with family meant they did not get a moment alone until they retired to Ron's bedroom after the festivities were over.

But, they did save the actual catching up for after Hermione properly welcomed Ron home, and he showed her just how much he missed her. In the afterglow came the questions and explanations.

"Yup," Ron said enthusiastically. "I don't know how he did it, but he found them and brought them into the Ministry to speak to Robards and a member of the Wizengamot. They told them everything they heard McLaggen saying, including the way he was talking about you."

"I can't believe he said those foul things," Hermione said in disgust, clutching the blanket to her chest as if the vile man was in the room at that very moment. "It feels...violating, the way he was looking at me. So to hear what he said?" She shuddered and Ron pulled her close, kissing her temple.

"I know love," he said, his voice low. "But he can't come anywhere near you. And he won't if he knows what's good for him." Hermione leaned into her husband, grateful for the way he made her feel safe. Ron kept his arms around her as he continued recounting the events of the morning. "And the great thing is, the witch from the Wizengamot agreed that he was out of line. She seemed like a right prude witch, probably even a bit of a - what'd you call it? Feminist?" Hermione nodded. "Yeah, so she was as offended as if McLaggen said them to her! She told Robards that it was her opinion that I acted accordingly - as any doting husband should act in defense of his wife - and that I should be released immediately. Her words exactly," he chuckled. "Robards still wrote me up, as a warning, but no further action will be taken."

"Oh Ron that's wonderful!"

"I know, isn't it? It also helped that the witnesses both stated that I did not actually use my wand on McLaggen, like the bloody tosser claims I did, and that they did not see me have one drink the entire time I was in the Leaky. Harry always pulls through for me." He smiled. "We always pull through for each other, really."

"Harry is amazing. Ginny too. Your entire family." She smiled and propped herself up on her elbow hovering over him slightly. "I'm so in love with your family Ron. I've barely been with them for 24 hours and yet...I can't explain it. I feel like this is home. More so than my own home has ever felt. I love my parents, but being here...I can't explain it."

Ron raised his hand to rest on her cheek, his thumb running lightly along the corner of her lip. "You don't have to explain, I get it. And I'm so happy you feel that way." He looked at her for a moment then remembered another important piece of information that was lost in the shuffle of the day. He sat up and rested against the headboard and grinned. "Guess what else?"

Hermione sat up and faced him, holding the blanket over her chest. "What?"

"We don't have to head back to France after all."

"Oh?"

"The team from Belgium came through. They captured the last three wizards who were on the run last night. Robards will be sending word tomorrow for us all to come in for a briefing on Monday, but he got word while he was with me so I was first to know." He smiled, then looked at Hermione and frowned. "Unless...you have to go back to France, don't you?" Ron realized they never actually discussed Hermione's plans after the mission. Where she would work and what it would mean for them. He felt a knot growing in his stomach.

"Well," she started, suddenly enraptured with a loose thread in his blanket, "I actually wanted to talk to you about...staying in London."

"Really?" Ron's heart raced happily, the knot disappearing immediately.

"Yes, really. I was speaking with your brother Percy earlier today, and he mentioned quite a few openings in a couple of departments that peeked my interest at the British Ministry. He already said that between you, Harry, him and Arthur and probably even Robards and Ledwig, I could get any position I set my eye on at the Ministry. I already have the connections on top of my education and experience -"

"And your brilliance," Ron added with a smile.

Hermione blushed and rolled her eyes playfully at the compliment. "Yes, well...anyway...I had already spoke to my boss in Paris about the possibility that I may stay here. I've been helping with research from afar, and may have to travel to Paris soon to tie up a few things, but as my only real task these last few months was the mission with your team," she shrugged and looked back up at Ron, "I can pretty much make a clean break."

"So...you'll stay here - WE'LL stay here - and you'll work in the British Ministry?"

"That's my hope?" She smiled but then her face got serious. "But as an Auror MAC, you may have more extended missions, won't you?"

Ron nodded slowly. "But, I was talking to Robards about that today, and he said we can discuss if I want to remain with the Auror MACS or make a switch. If I stay with the MACs though, and do have to leave, at least knowing that you'll be here, surrounded by my family...I'll hate to leave you but I'll feel better about it."

"Just don't go falling in love with an intern helping the team in Bulgaria or something," she joked. Ron pulled her into him, pressing her body flush against his own.

"I could never," he whispered, dotting her cheek and jaw with light kisses. "You are it for me Hermione Granger-Weasley."

"Good, because I quite like you too."

They settled back into the pillows holding each other close, then Ron cleared his throat. "So, we have some work to do Mrs. Weasley."

"What's that Auror Weasley?"

"Well, I figure step 1 is we'll need to find a home. I don't fancy shagging my wife for much longer in my childhood bedroom."

"A home? Like...a house?"

"Well, yeah. We could just get a flat in London, but that might hinder step two."

"And what is step two?"

"Step two is to put a baby in you," he growled into her neck while spreading his large hand over her bare stomach.

Hermione bit her lip and grinned, then she shook her head. "Oh Ronald. You did it again."

"Did what again?" he asked pushing up on his elbow over her with a concerned look. "What did I do?"

"You skipped step one...and went right for step two." Ron stared at her puzzled, then chuckled when he remembered that his plans were not for Ginny and Harry to know about their marriage first, but second.

Suddenly he sat all the way up, thinking about what Hermione just said. "I did wh-what now?"

Hermione sat up too, and took his hand and placed it back on her belly. "Step two...you've already done." Ron's wide eyes darted between her stomach and her own deep brown eyes. "I was feeling poorly a bit this week, so I went to St. Mungo's yesterday to confirm. I'm pregnant Ron," she whispered the last sentence.

"Y-you're...I'm gonna...we're...really?!" Hermione nodded smiling. Ron pulled Hermione onto his lap and peppered her entire face with kisses. "Oh Mione!...This is...so amazing...Merlin!...I love you...so much...so fucking much!" He continued planting kisses all over her cheeks and jaw and neck in between his professions of love as Hermione giggled in his arms. He lay her down tenderly then moved the orange blanket from over her. He touched her smooth stomach lightly and tried to imagine how it would look as the months went by, growing rounder right in front of him. He leaned in and kissed her stomach reverently. "I love you too, little one." He looked back up at Hermione and saw the tears in her eyes. "Oh love," he whispered as he straightened out to lay next to her. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her deeply.

"I love you too Ron. So much. You insufferable prat," she teased.

"You love me because I'm an insufferable prat or in spite of?"

Hermione's laugh filled the room. "Hard to say!" She said through chuckles.

"Merlin, I love your laugh," Ron breathed out.

"Good thing you're relatively funny then!" Ron rolled his eyes and tickled her, delighted to hear the sound of her laugh once again reverberate around the room.

****

A/N: All the secrets are out! Yay! This was a really fun fic to write...so much so that I already have a few one-shot ideas that will be based on this AU so keep an eye out on FFN/AO3! I think we need to see more of Ron and Hermione's growing love in France, don't you? Or maybe I'll write the "before" story...hmmmm... We'll see! Now that I've "popped my cherry" and shared my first fic (and received so much love!) there's definitely more to come! I'm working on a massive one right now that I'll start to get out to you all shortly, and another completed fic I'm sitting on. So, until next time...Mertronus OUT 3

#Ron Weasley #auror ron weasley #ron and hermione #ROMIONE #romione fanfic #hermione granger #au harry potter

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imissthefire · 6 years ago

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Kierarktina Kids Headcanons pt 5

The fifth installment is finally here! Wow! As always, here are the links for: part 1, part 2, part 3, and part 4.

I hope y’all enjoy this set, I went with a pretty soft and chill bit here. I’m gonna give y’all a heads-up now, there isn’t much Kieran in this one and I lowkey didn’t really realise it until I finished this set. That being said, I will be posting another set of these within the next few days (hopefully) to make up for it!

· Kalli and Lia are quick to bond and get pretty close to each other

· Lia does her best to be a good example to her baby sister and is always trying to convince her parents that she should take Kalli out of her crib to play

· “Lia, she can’t support her own head, she can’t do that yet”

· “No, but I can hold her, it’s okay, we can still play together”

· “No, Thalia, you can’t”

· This frustrates Lia a little bit that she isn’t allowed to have Kalli out alone, but she understands to a point

· Kalli is a big time Mama’s Girl, she loves Cristina and no one makes her as happy and calm as her

· It’s obvious to all the parents that she gravitates mostly to Tina, but it becomes a fun competition between Mark and Kieran to see who can be her favourite dad

· It’s completely harmless because they all know that at the end of the day, Kalli loves all her parents equally, even if she’s clingier to her mum

· So, Mark and Kieran are lowkey trying to out-do the other and see who can make Kalli smile the most

· They keep score of it too, it’s wonderful

· Of course they still give Lia the attention that she wants and needs, there’s no neglect there

· Lia eventually catches on that they’re trying to entertain Kalli when she notices a little scoreboard on the wall higher up in the nursery at the cottage

· So, ever the diplomat, Lia will cling on to one of her dads more than the other for the day so she can try and even out the score

· It’s a wholesome time and it really brings the whole family together to just be with each other, even if they’re sometimes doing things just to entertain the other

· No one’s ever left out, Lia gets to spend time with whoever isn’t trying to entertain Kalli, and Kalli has revolving attention on her

· Hop ahead a bit, Lia’s now 4, Kalli is just over a year old

· Kalli has a very basic vocabulary, they like to attribute it to how much time Lia spends talking to her about all the fun they’re gonna have when she’s a bit older

· So she picked up a lot as she grew older

· At 7 months, Kalli spoke her first word, it was “wia”

· When they realised she was calling out for her big sister, the parents all cried, it was so Wholesome™

· Anyway, back to the now

· So, the family is currently at their apartment in NY

· The apartment has two bedrooms, the girls share one, and Mark and

Tina (and occasionally Kieran when he can get an excuse to slip out of Faerie) share the other

· So the girls are in their room, Lia having a bit of play time before one of her parents will come put her to bed

· She has a set of toys out on the floor and is having a pretend tea party with her favourite ones

· Kalli’s half asleep in her crib, but Lia really wants to hang out with her little sister

· So, she does the only logical thing she can think of

· Lia climbs over the bars to Kalli’s crib and sits beside her

· Kalli kinda just stares at her, but she starts smiling all big and sweet, crawling over to be closer to Lia

· The girls kind of just hang out there, Lia stands up and grabs one of the picture books from a nightstand that sits beside Kalli’s crib and opens it up

· Lia can’t really read, but then again, she’s just five

· She can make out some words, but they mostly just look at the pictures

· The books was given to them as a gift by their uncle Adaon when Kalli was born, it had a bunch of Faerie stories often told and shared with young children of the Fae

· There were some interesting stories in it, one about a mermaid who swam through the oceans and ravaged shipwrecks, another about an elusive goblin who lived in tunnels beneath Faerie that nobody really knew about, even a story about The Wild Hunt

· Lia’s favourite story, however, was one about a young Pixie who would steal off every night to the mortal world, bringing back secrets and stories, selling them away for the price of a kiss in hope of finding love

· She didn’t quite understand the workings of a kiss for a story, but she liked the idea of stealing away to come back with treasures in the words heard in the shelter of the night sky

· Kalli liked a story that was about a Princess of an old court that once had been

· She didn’t understand the story too well, but she liked the pictures and found the Princess’s dresses to be very eye-catching

· So, Lia did her best to sort of read the stories to Kalli

· She had heard the story of the Pixie enough times that she could kind of explain it from memory, but again, the two of them mostly flipped through the book and looked at the pictures

· While the girls are in their room being Wholesome™, Tina’s in the room next to them having a small panic

· She got word from the Alliance that there needed to be an emergency meeting that night as there was an outbreak of demons thanks to a warlock and faerie who got drunk and decided it would be fun to summon a lesser demon

· Only they messed up big time and summoned a small hoard of them instead

· So now, there’s demons on the loose in the Bronx and they would need to apprehend the warlock and faerie, and also deal with the demons

· Wonderful times

· When Mark comes in, she tells him about it and realises that they can’t bring the girls with them, or leave them at the NY Institute for the meeting, as it would likely result in a few days of work and a mission that they would most likely be set out on

· Since there’s been a lot of activity in the courts, they can’t send them off to Kieran

· Time to call up some aunts and uncles

· Hop ahead a few hours, a portal was opened and the girls are soon to be in LA with their aunts Aline, Helen, Dru, and Emma; and Uncles Julian, and Tavvy.

· Ty had just left LA a few days ago, he’s looking into strange activity in Dubai with a few other Centurions

· Emma and Julian love babysitting

· They often take care of Helen and Aline’s kids when they need to, but over all just love spending time with their nieces and nephews

· Helen and Aline have 2 kids, one boy and a girl

· Their daughter was an orphaned young Shadowhunter found wandering the outskirts of Belgium not long after the Cohort closed off Idris when she was just four years old

· Their son is two years younger than his sister, but four years older than Lia

· He was a changeling child that was discovered with a clan of wild fae who were found with a small group of many other changeling and half fae children

· Unfortunately, having been on the run from both courts, and the children being either half mortal or fully mortal, they were all very sickly and he along with one other were the only ones to survive when the wild fae clan had caught

· The other child had gone to a mortal family, and the boy found his way to the Unseelie lands and was discovered sleeping at the base of a willow tree in tattered clothing

· He and Lia got along very well, but he was incredibly shy around anyone outside of the family

· Anyway, when it came time for the girls to go, Helen had come through to get them as the girls travelling along by portal was risky and also because Kalli can’t really even walk without stumbling, so that was another concern

· Once the girls arrived, Helen took them to the kitchen, immediately going into full-on Mother Mode™, making sure they were okay, that portaling hadn’t made them sick, that they were well fed and okay

· Kalli whined, wanting to go to bed, Lia was asking about her cousins, wondering where they were

· Though when they had left NY it was night, it was only evening in LA, so her cousins were still up and wandering about

· Kalli kept fussing, trying to squirm out of Helen’s arms

· Hearing the commotion, Dru peeked her head out from around the corner and was excited to see the girls

· Lia ran up and hugged her, Kalli kept her whining

· Dru asked Helen if she would be able to take Kalli off her hands, and Helen let her

· It was as if being in her arms, everything went calm

· Kalli calmed her fussing and nestled into Dru’s shoulder

· Helen was amused by Kalli’s temperamental self, but was also not surprised

· Dru was so good with kids despite always saying she hated babysitting

· She’s such a liar, she loves spending time with her nieces and nephew

· Hop ahead, it’s been about two days since they arrived in LA

· Lia can be found running around the Institute with her cousins, playing various games

· Her oldest cousin has been doing a lot of studying, and she’s started to train as she will be getting her first runes in just over a year, so she’s not always able to play with the younger ones

· Kalli spent a lot of time clinging to her various aunts and uncles

· She spent a lot of time with Julian and Emma, the pair of them love taking her out down to the beach

· Julian can’t get her to leave him alone though, it’s adorable

· She clings to him more than the others and he absolutely loves it

· Emma’s lowkey jealous, but it doesn’t bother her

· If anything, she understands Kalli, she wishes she could just cling to Julian all day too

· The girls end up being out in LA for just shy of a week

· They enjoy their stay, but they’re really starting to miss their parents

· By day six of being in LA, they’re really antsy, Kalli won’t talk to anyone except for Lia, and it’s only to tell her she misses her mama and daddies

· Lia tries to be comforting, but by that sixth day, she’s really feeling it too and misses her parents

· Their cousins try and help keep them busy and play with them, but they also let the girls have their space because sometimes they just need to be on their own

· Finally, the evening of the sixth day, Mark and Tina portal to LA to pick up the girls

· Julian and Emma had just finished helping them get ready for bed when they arrived, and the girls were elated to see two of their parents

· When Cristina sees them run up and hug her and Mark, she gets super emotional

· She’s so happy to have them back, she feels bad that the mission ended up taking much longer than anticipated

· Later that evening, Mark really starts to notice that something’s up with Tina

· They decide to stay the night there as they don’t want to really rush the girls back home after they’ve already mostly settled in for bed

· So, they get a little time to have hug time and a snack, but are back off to bed

· Mark’s suspicion of something being up with Tina picks back up when they head off to Mark’s old room to go to sleep

· During their whole mission, something’s been up

· He decides to head off to shower real quick before heading to bed, trying to get his mind straight and figure out what might be going on

· Tina’s been a bit off lately, and she’s currently curled up on the bed around a pillow listening to a playlist with fae music

· It’s not that she’s never done that before, but he hadn’t seen her like this since when she was pregnant with Kalli

· Oh

· It hits him then that he might have an idea what’s up

· It starts making sense

· Her emotions being a bit all over, her very particular wants and needs, the way she was being more defensive when they were battling demons rather than being more direct in attack

· Oh wow

· She’s pregnant again

· He tries not to overthink it, but when he’s in the shower, his mind likes to play a game called let’s think about everything right now and panic

· So, he lets his mind run in circles

· He does attempt to rationalise the thoughts

· Since Lia and Kalli, they don’t often have nearly as much—ahem—bedroom time

· But like

· The triad do still manage to find time to be intimate with each other

· After a long enough time to letting his mind whirl, he heads back into the bedroom

· He notices that Cristina’s curled up tighter around the pillow and the music she’s playing is much softer now, but still very distinctly Faerie music

· Mark does his best not to disturb her when he sits down next to her, but she immediately looks up at him and rolls over into his lap

· He gladly scoops her up in his arms, holding her close

· It’s Wholesome™

· She looks up at him, biting her bottom lip nervously

· “Mark, we need to talk”

· Before she can even say it, Mark asks her if she’s pregnant again

· She holds his gaze for a minute before nodding and resting her head against his shoulder

· Mark partly wants to go off a little for her having gone on the mission, but he knows that she’s fully capable of kicking ass while pregnant

· Like, she’s done it twice before, she knows her body

· But he still is like oh shit, what if…

· But he stops himself from thinking anything bad

· Anyway, that night they’re all extra cuddly, Mark holds Cristina close to him, one hand wrapped around her resting on her belly

· The next morning, they’re setting off to head back to NY

· The courts have been killer, Kieran hasn’t had a break

· It’s tragic, even though they all desperately want to see each other, they cannot

· Mark and Tina think about baby names just a little, wondering when to tell the girls about it

· She says it’s still really early, about 7 weeks in, and she doesn’t want to risk telling them should something to wrong

· Mark asks Cristina about when she’s going to tell Kieran about it

· She awkwardly explains that he already knew

· The last time they had seen Kieran was nearly two weeks ago, and she felt bad that she hadn’t told Mark about it until now

· He’s quick to mention how they had only been home from Faerie for 2 days before they were pulled into an emergency mission

· Guilt still exists, Tina wishes she told Mark sooner

· The only reason Kieran figured it out was that he had pointed out that something was different about her, he could sense something

· Dammit, stupid faerie instincts, she had thought to herself

· She wound up telling him, but he was excited about it

· Ever since they’d had Lia, he had been a little happier

· Really, ever since the three of them had come together, he’d been happier, but seeing their family grow just was the cherry on top

· His hair was rarely pitch dark when they were all together, reflecting his ease and peace of mind

· This family is so Wholesome™ and I would die for them

· Okay, back on track

· Time jump to about a week later

· Everyone’s missing Kieran

· They always get the Daddy-less Depression™ when they’re away from him for too long

· Mark and Cristina start wondering if they should just,,, possibly move in to the cottage

· They’ve been going back and forth for nearly six years, they’ve made it work, but with their girls growing up—and another baby on the way—it’s hard to rationalise letting them grow-up without their other dad

· Yeah, sometimes Mark or Cristina alone will take the girls to visit Kieran while the other stays back to handle Alliance business, but it’s not the same

· Living in two separate houses makes it hard to have a home

· So, with that in mind, they start considering that their next trip to Faerie being one of their last trips, and plan out how they would manage to live there as their home, occasionally pop back and forth to the mortal world for Alliance things, rather than pop back and forth to Faerie for Kieran

· It just makes more sense that way for them

· We gonna yeet ahead another two days, a trip to Faerie has been organised, but Kieran is unaware of it

· They know that when he’s not in the cottage, he’s often staying in the towers, but they hope that he will be able to come to the cottage within a few days of them getting there

· So, in the morning, Mark, Tina, Lia, and Kalli have packed up some stuff for their planned stay

· Slowly, they’ve subconsciously been bringing more and more of their things there, they’ve already been making the cottage their home without realising it

· Anyway, once they’re there, they are quick to settle in and unpack what things they brought

· The girls were very adamant on bringing some more toys with them, and some of their books

· They highkey love the Faerie book that they got, it’s their fave and, even though Lia’s only met her uncle Adaon once, she loves him as much as she does her other ones

· They also brought along some Spanish books that their Grandma Carmen got them

· She’s always pushing them a bit to speak Spanish with her and learn about all sides of their family

· It’s wonderful, Lia loves her grandma and the books she gets her

· Even though Lia’s reading is pretty limited, her spoken Spanish is nearly as good as her English, so it’s going well

· Back on topic

· The girls are both fussy when they get there, Tina’s tired but Mark is pretty content

· He always feels a bit more comfort when he’s in Faerie, though he’d never openly admit it

· He asks the girls if they want to go on a little walk while Tina gets some rest

· Lia, surprisingly, objects to it

· Kalli is nodding, reaching up at Mark’s hand

· She’s getting better at walking, but she’s just over a year old and is very wobbly

· It’s the cutest thing, she’s lowkey really clumsy

· With Lia objecting, Tina being tired, they decide against the walk

· Kalli frowns at the cancelled plan, but is happy to pull Mark along with her to her and Lia’s room

· Lia wanders in to grab a blanket before climbing into her bed and wrapping herself up

· Kalli goes over to one of the bags they brought and pulls out the big Faerie book

· She asks Mark to read to her, pulling him over to an area with a few cushions strewn about

· He sits on one and Kalli crawls into his lap, looking at the book in his hands

· She helps him pick a story, settling on one about a Hobgoblin who lived in a brambleberry bush and could play the most beautiful music

· Halfway through, she’s rocking back and forth, humming a tune to a song as they read

· Life’s so nice sometimes

· Lia shuffles out of her bed, dragging herself cloaked in a blanket over to Mark’s side, leaning against him as he continues to read the story

· He’s so emo for his babies, he feels so Warm™ and Soft™, it’s wonderful

· When that story is finished, he scans through the book and sees the one about The Wild Hunt

· The girls sort of know that he and Kieran were part of the Hunt a few years before they were born, but they don’t really talk much about it

· But upon seeing the story, blanket-engulfed Lia asks if he can read that one

· So he does, occasionally correcting some slight inaccuracies, but not getting in too deep about it

· When they’re about halfway through the story, Kalli’s fallen asleep, she’s leaning back into Mark’s shoulder snoring lightly

· Lia’s hardly keeping her eyes open

· Mark goes to shut the book, but Lia puts a lazy hand out, holding it open

· “How does the story end, papa?” she asks, her voice hardly any louder than a whisper

· “The stories of the Hunt don’t truly ever end, my dear Lia. Perhaps one day I can share with you some of the adventures your father and I have went on in our time in the Hunt,” he ponders, keeping his voice low as to not wake up Kalli

· Lia nods, her eyes fluttering as she struggles to stay awake

· Mark sets the book down on a cushion beside him, standing up gently with Kalli in his arms

· He sets her down in her crib before walking back over to Lia—who has now sprawled out on the cushions with her blanket covering her

· He gently picks her up, bringing her to her bed

· He tucks her in, kissing her forehead as he bids her sweet dreams

· When the girls are in bed, he puts the book up on a dresser on the side of the room

· He looks back at the scene before him—his two girls fast asleep, their faces calm and happy

· It’s moments like these where Mark feels a tug in his heart

· Having left his young siblings, missing many of them growing up, it brings him joy to see his own children growing up, knowing that they will have him there, knowing that he won’t ever have to leave his family ever again

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dontjudgemepeepswrites · 6 years ago

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A Turn For The Worst - Jake Peralta

Requested - Can you do one where jake kills himself?..I know..I'm terrible😂

Trigger warning: suicide

--------------------------------

*Your pov*

"Honey, I'm home!" my boyfriend, Jake, announces as he struts into the apartment.

"Hey," I mumble. I love Jake and all but I'm really not in the mood.

"What's wrong? Do I have to arrest anyone?"

"Thanks, Jake, for caring so much, but no. No one needs to be arrested. It's just, I got fired. For no reason."

"Well it can't have been for no reason, y/n. There must be something. No offence to you."

"My boss asked me to do something but I couldn't do it at that exact moment because I was doing some urgent papers that I'd just gotten that needed to be done by the end of the day so I asked Diane, my co-worker, to do it for me. Then my boss saw that she was doing it instead of me and came over to me and said, and I quote, 'you useless bitch, you never get anything done, and I'm going to do something I should've done a long time ago. You're fired. Leave. Now.' People tried to stand up for me but my boss wouldn't listen. I'll go and try and get a job tomorrow, I've managed to get a few references from my superiors."

"Good luck, babe. I promise that it'll sort itself out. Besides, any company would be privileged to have you."

"Thanks Jakey. I love you."

"I love you too."

*The next day*

"I did it! I got a job!" I say enthusiastically as Jake walks in from work.

"That's great! I knew you could do it! Where are you working then?" Jake asks, a, what seems to be fake, smile on his face.

"At (*insert random place*)! But, are you ok? Something seems to be getting you down?"

"It's nothing, don't worry about it."

"Ok, if you say so. But you can talk to me if you need anything, ok?" I reassure, genuinely worried. He never keeps these sort of things from me but I won't pry. If I do, there's less of a chance of him telling me.

"I will, I promise."

*Jake's pov*

Why did I promise that? I can't go to y/n at the moment, not with their current situation. Especially since they're going to be busy with their new job. The truth is, I've been suspended from the 99 because Holt doesn't think I'm in a stable condition. Today was my last day before a 6 month suspension, but there's no way I can tell y/n, they'll be heartbroken. y/n's the only good thing in my life right now so I can't disappoint them.

*a week later*

I've barely seen y/n over the past week. Apparently they've been given a huge amount of work and have to get it all done asap and it's going to be a regular thing. I'm going to lose the one good thing in my life and I refuse to do anything about it because I won't - no, can't - hinder y/n's life. There's only one option left for me. I'm sorry, Lord, for what I'm about to do.

*back to y/n's pov*

Ugh, it's so late. I can't wait to just relax with Jake and maybe watch a few Die Hard movies. I unlock the door to our apartment and immediately see something on the kitchen counter. It's a note.

y/n, don't go in the bathroom. Whatever you do, don't go in there. All will be explained. Just listen to the tape that's in the Walkman I left in the bedroom.

It's definitely Jake, the handwriting looks like it belongs to a child. I ave no idea how to feel for what's about to happen. I'm scared because he told me to not go in the bathroom and bathrooms aren't romantic, so I have a feeling that I should be terrified.

I put the headphones that are connected to the Walkman on and start the tape.

"Uh, hey, y/n. You're probably wondering what's going on and, before I say anything, I just want to say, I'm sorry. You'll understand why soon."

Yup, terrified.

"I'm... no longer with you... or the world. I don't want to be blunt with this. But I think you know what I'm saying."

I really hope he's not saying what I think he's saying, because if he is, I will... I will... I don't know what I'll do.

"You and the precinct are - sorry, were - the best things I had. Then I got suspended for 6 months because my overall mood at work just started to take a toll on my work. And then you got the new job. The day that you got the job was my last day before the suspension started and was also why I was so bummed out. And then I've barely seen you in the last week, which I know isn't your fault and I don't want you to blame yourself. Please, don't blame yourself. I couldn't help but feel that you were gonna leave me because you wouldn't have time for me. And that killed me. I love you too much to lose you. But I think this song might say everything else for me."

And then a song starts playing. I recognise it immediately. The Goodbye Song. He must've seen the album on the shelf and found the song.

youtube

The time has come I'm flying away Mouth. Is. Numb. Heart don't know what to say.

And although I'll be out of sight, dear No, I'll be right here Right here forever, ever, ever, ever And when you look to the night skies Don't think of goodbyes Think how I'm right here, ever, ever, ever.

Thank you for teaching me lessons Thank you for listening to mine Man, you know how to ride a bike now Don't be scared, you'll be fine.

Come! No you can't come with me, stay I wish I could goodbye I know it's hard to say Come! No you can't come with me, stay I wish I could goodbye I know it's hard to say Ouch! I know it hurts to stay.

I- I'd stay if I could But the universe won't let me So please. Be. Good. And don't you forget me.

A single, stray tear starts falling down my cheek.

"y/n, that song says so much that I wanted to, so I'm going to go over some of them again. Stay. No matter how hard it is, don't do the same as me. Look after people, move to England, follow your ambitions. You taught me that. You taught me that you have to eventually move on by chasing your ambitions. But just remember, you won't be by yourself. I'll be in your heart, forever and always. Also, you may have gathered, I'm in the bathroom, so don't go in. I don't want you to suffer through more pain. You don't deserve it. I love you, y/n. I love you so much. However, I need you to tell someone about this. You're the only person there's a tape for. And no, I don't mean in the 13 Reasons Why sense, don't worry."

I let out a muffled chuckle. Of course Jake is making a joke in his suicide tape. But damn, I have to tell people? It's gonna kill me.

"If you can't tell them tough, there's a note. It's in the bedside drawer in an envelope. I put it in because I don't think you'll want to see that as well. But, uh, that's all I have to say really. Once again, I love you, so much, y/n. Now live your life to the best of your abilities."

The tape ends. He's gone. He's really gone. The love of my life is gone. The reality of it comes crashing in like a bulldozer and a driver who's blasting Miley Cyrus' Wrecking Ball. A stream of tears starts pouring from my eyes.

And I'm like that for the rest of the night.

*the next morning*

I hail a cab and go to the precinct. I'm too much of a wreck to drive without crashing into someone.

I arrive and grab my money to pay the driver.

"No need, you seem upset, this one's on me," the nice taxi driver says.

"Thank you," I say, trying my best to say it loud enough for her to hear it.

I stumble out of the car and make my way into the precinct. The elevator door opens and I walk into the bullpen.

"He-- y/n, are you alright?" Amy asks, a worried look spreading across her face as soon as he sees my dishevelled look. I shake my head in reply before starting to cry again. Amy comes over and gives me a hug. "Let's go somewhere more private." I shake my head in protest and hand her the envelope which has the note in it. She opens it, still worried. A look of sadness, grief and shock overcomes her. "Oh my god!" she yells and everyone looks at her. "Everyone in the briefing room. Now," she commands. "Do you want to come, y/n?" I nod my head and follow her to the briefing room.

"Amy, what's this about? I'm so close to catching my perp!" Rosa states.

"Dear whoever's reading this, I am dead. I 'left' this world voluntarily. I'm sorry, Jake Peralta," Amy reads from the letter. Everyone just sits there in shock.

"He... he... committed suicide? But... why?" Charles asks, still in shock.

"I don't know," Amy answers.

"I-I can a-answer that," I mumble, just loud enough that Amy could hear.

"You don't have to tell us if you don't want to," Amy sympathises.

"You all d-eserve t-to know. H-he felt like h-h-he had no o-one. B-because he was s-susp-ended h-here and I j-just g-got a new j-j-job and was r-really b-busy," I mumble for Amy to hear so she can tell the others. She repeats what I said and everyone is even more in shock now.

"Oh," Charles says.

"Do you have any idea what you're going to do now, y/n?" Rosa asks, seemingly concerned.

"P-probably t-travel the w-world. I-it's m-my dream. H-he t-told me to f-f-follow my d-dreams."

"We wish you all the best then, y/n. Call any of us anytime," she reassures. Then everyone comes in and hugs me, every single one of them at least with glossy eyes.

*on your death bed*

I never did get over Jake. At least, not fully. I had a few other partners but none of them compared to him. I travelled the world. I saw France, the UK, Australia, Belgium, Egypt, India, China, Thailand and many more. Then I moved to England and lived the life that Jake and I planned, only I made a few adjustments since I didn't have Jake. I adopted 2 kids. Twins, in fact. Now they both have their own kids and are living their lives to the fullest. Overall, it's been a pretty fulfilling life.

Now here I lie, ready for the next stage, death. I'm finally going to see my Jakey again. I've longed for this day since his death. Gradually, everything goes dark. Then, I see a light and I approach it. I can see the Golden Gates to Heaven. And standing there, waiting for me, is my Jacob Peralta. I run into his arms.

"I missed you, Peralta," I say.

"Well now we're together again. And we will be forever."

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#jake peralta #jakeperalta #jake peralta imagine #jakeperaltaimagine #jake peralta one shot #jakeperaltaoneshot #jake peralta x reader #jakeperaltaxreader #imagine #imagines #oneshot #oneshots #B99 #brooklyn 99 #brooklyn99

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sargenthouse · 6 years ago

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Interview with Brutus Singer/Drummer, Stefanie Mannaerts // Revolver

Full interview via Revolver Stefanie Mannaerts' childhood reads like it came straight out of a music-nerd's favorite fairy tale. Growing up in the Flemish university city of Leuven, Belgium — 16 miles east of Brussels — Mannaerts spent countless hours inside her family's music store, Muziekhandel Leo Caerts, staring in wonder at the accordions, guitars and drum kits that surrounded her. The six-year-old Mannaerts lived with her parents above the shop — after it closed at night, she'd sneak downstairs and dart around the store, feverishly trying out whatever instrument caught her fancy.

"When it was closed, I could play on any instrument I wanted," Mannaerts recalls fondly. "That's pretty cool when you're so little. Now, it's just so normal, being surrounded by gear that you can't afford." She laughs.

Mannaerts tells Revolver this over Skype, shortly after wrapping her workday at the family store. These days, she's graduated from sampling the merchandise to handling sales and cleaning instruments. But that's not Mannaerts' only musical calling: She's also the singer-drummer of genre-jumping post-hardcore trio Brutus. And if her group's rising success continues, it would be no surprise if the next chapter in her life is that of a full-time musician.

Since dropping their 2017 debut album, Burst, Brutus have been making waves far outside of their Belgian homeland thanks to their progressive take on hardcore and Mannaert's alternately sweet and savage vocals — a potent mix that has earned them accolades from some high-profile fans. (Metallica's Lars Ulrich and former Dillinger Escape Plan vocalist Greg Puciato were both early supporters.) Now, the band are about to take things to the next level with their outstanding sophomore album, Nest.

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If you're one of the 100,000-plus YouTube viewers that have stared in awe at Brutus' intense, in-studio performance of first single "War" (Converge drummer Ben Koller might've summed it up best on Twitter, proclaiming "Wow … Fuck that was great."), you've witnessed Mannaerts unleashing powerful vocals while hammering out a cavalcade of destructive d-beats and post-rock-inspired cymbal crescendos. Her ferocity and ease of execution may lead you to think she was bitten by the drum bug early on during her childhood, but you'd be wrong. Her first musical love was, in fact, the piano.

"[My parents] bought a piano at the flea market — very out of tune and more for decoration, because my dad plays guitar," she recalls. "I just started making noise on it and asking if I could start with that instrument. I think I was 14 when I discovered drums; I studied classical piano first."

Oddly enough, it wasn't spending time in the music store, but rather a playdate at a friend's house, that pushed Mannaerts into more percussive territory. She explains: "I came over and thought we were going to play with Barbies or talk about boys, but there was a drum set standing in the middle of their living room. I was like, 'Can you teach me something?' She did, and at that moment I decided, 'Ok, this is what I'm going to do.'"

Just three months after this percussive epiphany, a chance conversation at the shop between her father and a bunch of punks in search of a drummer led Mannaerts to link up with her first band, Starfucker. It was there that Mannaerts met her future Brutus bandmate Stijn Vanhoegaerden. But back then the 14-year-old drummer and 19-year-old bassist were all about bashing out mid-'00s-era garage rock — Mannaerts punctuating songs like "Boys Will Be Boys" with solid but simplified drum beats and a schoolyard-style "na na na" back-up vocal.

"We always talked about how later, when we were older and better musicians, we should start a band with music that we actually enjoy," Mannaerts says now. Post-Starfucker, Mannaerts would evolve her skills as she studied drumming at a music academy. She also took on a studio gig supporting a teen pop singer named Bab, and later explored new noise in the underground through a Refused cover band, where she met bassist Peter Mulders.

By 2014, Mannaerts, Mulders and Vanhoegaerden (who was now slinging a six-string) formed Brutus, and went on the hunt for a vocalist. At least, that's what their drummer thought — right up until Vanhoegaerden brought a microphone into their practice space and suggested Mannaerts temporarily fill in with scratch vocals. Eventually, after she suspected this phantom singer would never materialize, they convinced her to take on the role in Brutus.

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While Mannaerts was uncertain about her singing at first ("It took me until [now] to be able to say I'm the singer in the band, not just the drummer that tries to sing") the group put together a punchy catalog of punk-twisting tunes that would ultimately become their aptly-named debut album, Burst. Though the group's influences are disparate on the whole, a shared love of anthemic indie rockers Japandroids and punk unit White Lung led Brutus to cruising the acts' liner notes, and discovering that Vancouver engineer Jesse Gander produced them both. They quickly sent out an e-mail, and at Gander's invitation made the plan to fly to Canada to have him track their own album in 2016. They loved the experience so much that it was a no-brainer to return to Gander's Rain City Recorders two years later to record Nest.

"It felt like Brussels near the seaside, or something like that," Mannaerts says rosily of the North American hub. "In Leuven, there are only students pissing in your mailbox, breaking your windows or breaking the mirrors of your car … In Vancouver, people are being nice to the bus drivers." The group also enjoyed the relative anonymity of being in a city six times the size of their hometown.

"In Leuven, you know the butcher, you know the guy from the cigarette store," she continues. "In Vancouver, we were just three idiots following Jesse everywhere."

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The comfort of home, and where we decide that is, is the nexus point of Nest. Between logging hundreds of shows a year across Europe and North America, and spending time in relative isolation in a recording studio in Canada, Mannaerts was drawn towards contemplating the bonds between friends, family members, lovers and bandmates.

"A nest is an environment you create for yourself where you feel good," she says. "You have your nest at home — with your life partner, your kids or your family. You also have a nest with your band. That's how I see it. This record is all about those people who are in my nest, or Peter's, or Stijn's."

While there's an intimacy to Brutus spending months together in the tour van, Mannaerts notes how band life can also lead to "not being able to be at home when somebody needs you." Just as she can switch on a dime from harsh, flesh-rending screams to a vibrant, harmonious singing voice on tracks like the White Lung–esque "Cemetery," an emotional push-and-pull is likewise palpable throughout all of Nest. For instance, check how the fuzzbox-blowing bass lines and driving beats of "Django" back a devout pledge of "I'm never gonna leave your house/I wish that I could stay forever," but later, above the propulsive snare blasts and proggy time-shifts of "Carry," Mannaerts counters that security with a vulnerable and distant message: "Please give me the strength to fight/We'll be apart for one more night."

"With Burst, it was very YOLO— 'I don't give a fuck, being in a band is cool.' With this, there were some things we felt we should say in-song," she says of Nest's lyrics, adding how the album explores "making decisions that not everyone understands, and trying to sing about them, or singing a love song for your boyfriend at home, just to compensate [for being away]."

With plans to tour their aggressive and atmospheric new album across the globe throughout 2019, Mannaerts is currently weighing the thrill of traveling against a significant level of separation anxiety. But spreading their wings outside of their rehearsal room in Leuven also means they're finding comfort and kinship thousands of miles from home. Considering the intense excitement around the new album, they're bound to find a few more nests along the way.

#Brutus #Nest #Revolver #Stefanie Mannaerts

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captnbarnesrogers · 7 years ago

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Failures of Hiding

Pairings/Characters: Steve Rogers x Reader Warnings: unprotected sex, violence, INFINITY WAR SPOILERS Summary: You are Steve Rogers’ fiancée. Although he promises you a better life that isn’t in hiding, you reassure him that you are content but it isn’t the hiding that will be your problem. It’s Thanos. Word Count:2k+ A/N: THIS HAS INFINITY WAR SPOILERS DO NOT READ IF YOU’VE YET TO SEE IT!!!!

You sat up on another motel bed, the blinds were drawn down and your boyfriend slept right next to you. Steve’s snores were quiet but loud enough for you to hear. It was no secret to any government official and any civilian that you were all hiding; Steve, Natasha, Sam, and you. Almost three years ago, Steve came home to your apartment, packed a bag and told you things were about to change. Before you knew it, you were on a jet on the way to who knows where. First it was Wakanda, then back to America, then to Europe. It wasn’t until a year and a half later had Steve told you why you had to run away. Why all of a sudden Bucky had disappeared. Why this blooming man in a generation he doesn’t know was broken down. You were all labelled as criminals. But not once had you ever left his side, you’d never even thought of it. You loved Steve Rogers with all your heart. You had your moments where everything seemed so normal like you could live with no fear. In Paris, even staring outside the window, the sight of the faraway Eiffel Tower made you fall in love with the city even if you could barely step out to see it. Steve had kissed you that night and it wasn’t like any other kiss you’d ever received from anyone. One hand gripped your hip tightly and the other stroked your cheek ever so gently. He apologised with tears in his eyes that he couldn’t give you a better life, that one day you’d live the American dream; the wedding, the kids, the house, the dog, and the white picket fence but for now you were in hiding. For now, he needed to make sure the world was safe for you and his children. You’d told him that no matter if you were public or in hiding, you’d marry him in an instant and he proposed. Although, the ring came in a few weeks late after you moved from Paris to Belgium.

When you heard of Thanos’ return, you knew it was time to suit up and face the music. Face everything and everyone you were hiding from. The train sped past as Steve caught the spear that had been thrown with intention to hit him. You and Natasha took on Proxima Midnight and Corvus Glaive and before you knew it Corvus had been speared.

“You won’t get another chance.” Proxima stated bluntly, anger and vengefulness evident in her voice. Suddenly, they were beamed up into a donut shaped spaceship. Natasha looked back at Wanda and Vision with disappointment in her eyes. The big talk between the three began and ended in the spaces of the jet. They needed more time to feel free, but time wasn’t their problem; Thanos was.

“Where are we going, Cap?” Sam asked,

“Home.” He stated, looking over his shoulder. He looked at you straight after replying to Sam, worry drowning in his eyes. You walked over to him and put his head on your shoulder, rubbing his back.

“You’re gonna be okay, Cap.” You felt him take a breath in, “More people are on your side than you know, I can feel it.”

“I once promised you a life where you’d never have to worry about a thing,” he pauses and looks up at you, caressing your cheek, “but now that Thanos is coming, I don’t think I can give it to you.” You tip toed to face him and kissed his cheek.

“I’m not going anywhere, Steve Rogers, no matter what, I’m fighting with you.”

“How’d I get so lucky, doll?” You giggled,

“You’re not lucky, trust me, if anything, you’re cursed to be stuck with someone like me.” You found yourself restless during the seven-hour flight. Your feet tapping, finger wiggling making it fairly obvious. Steve rested his head on your shoulder, his hand intertwined with yours and as you landed into the compound, you shook him awake. You kissed his temple and he slowly opened his eyes.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to zone out like that.” You shook your head.

“It’s okay, you’re tired, I get it and we’re finally coming home.” The jet quietened, and Sam gave a reassuring nod that everything was good to go. You were all faced with James Rhodes, who fought for your freedom, and Thaddeus Ross, who labelled you all as wanted criminals. Ross’ holographic state was ended by Rhodes and he greeted you all with a hug. From the corner you see the silhouette of Doctor Bruce Banner who greets Natasha awkwardly.

Wakanda was your next stop to protect the last infinity stone and to bring back the best parts of Vision which Wanda wanted to keep. Before you could get on the jet, rest was definitely needed. You slipped into the shower to wash away the hard work. You ran your head under the warm water and wiped away the water that flowed down to your face when you pulled away. You heard the door creak and called out, “Steve?”

“Can I join you?” He whispers, opening the shower door,

“Of course, love.” He strips himself of his clothes and steps into the steaming hot shower with you, helping you wash out the sweat and dirt of fighting in the field. He rests his head on your shoulder, the warm water of the shower running down between your bodies, “You okay?” He places a kiss on your shoulder, making you turn around, “What’s wrong?”

“I want to marry you.” You held up your left hand which wore a shiny diamond ring on it.

“Isn’t that why I have this?”

“Yes, but I wish I could give you-” You kissed him before he could finish the sentence.

“I’m happy, Steve, I promise.”

“What about kids and a house and a dog? Like we talked about?” He placed a kiss on your head, the soap on your body bubbling away, then your cheek, and finally your lips.

“That can all come later, I don’t care. As long as I’m with you, I’m happy.” He kissed your neck and his hands travelled down to your ass, resting on the backs of your thighs. You turned off the water and he lifted you up, taking you outside of the shower and into the bedroom. At this point, you couldn’t really tell if your bodies were wet from the water or from the sweat between the both of you. His lips pulled away from yours for a minute. He stared into your eyes and he smiled, moving the wet hair away from your face.

“I can’t wait to marry you, Y/N, I love you so goddamn much.” He moved his head down, trailing kisses in between your breasts, down your stomach, and your thighs.

“I love you too, baby.” Your hands run through his hair when his mouth wraps around your clit making you gasp and arch your back in pleasure, “S-Steve.” You moaned, your legs resting on his shoulders as his mouth continued. He moved down, his tongue slipping into you as his thumb played with your sensitive nub. You gripped his hair tightly, “O-oh, god!”

“You taste so sweet, so fucking good.” He begins to lap on your clit, his fingers entering your wet pussy. He moves them in and out with a come-hither motion, the sounds of your gasps and heavy breathing evident in the air. You squeeze your eyes close from the pleasure, fingers still in Steve’s short, blonde hair.

“Babybabybaby,” You chanted, “I- I can’t take it anymore, I’m- I’m gonna cum, I need you. Please.” You panted heavily. He met your eyes again as he hovered over you. He licked his lips which made you bite yours. You stroke his face and you peck the tip of his nose. You feel the tip of his hard cock entering you and you pull at the hairs on the nape of his neck; touching his forehead with yours. He begins to set a rhythm with his hips as he buries himself inside you. He snapped his hips into you making you moan loudly.

“You’re so fucking tight, baby girl, fuck!”

“Steve, oh god, baby, o-oh f-fuck!” Your nails scratched down his back, you were sure you’d left marks. Your breathing started to get harder, his hips started to lose rhythm, moans were getting louder, “I’m gonna cum!”

“I’m- Me too.” He reached down in between you both and rubbed your hardened nub. You chanted his name loudly and clenched around his hard cock. You felt a warmth pooling in your abdomen as you came on him, “Jesus… Shit, shit, shit!” He rutted deep inside you, his forehead resting on yours, “I love you.”

“I love you.” You stayed cuddling in bed. His hands intertwined with yours.

“Have you named them?” You turned to face him, placing a kiss on his collarbone.

“Who?”

“The kids, our kids.” You laughed as his fingers grazed your heated skin.

“Of course I have.”

“Do tell.” He once again intertwined your fingers together.

“Well, I wanted two girls and one boy; Celestina, Maja, and Jamie.”

“They’re unique, I like them, Jamie?”

“James, after your most beloved soldier.” He laughed and nodded his head. Before you knew it, silence filled the air and the both of you had drifted off to sleep.

The flight to Wakanda was quiet. Everyone was anticipating what was going to going to happen. You were surrounded by bravery but also nervousness. You hopped off the jet and watched the reunion between the two best friends. Bucky pulled you into him.

“The princess… How have you been?” He asks in the hug.

“I’ve been great, Buck, I missed my friends though, the hotel beds were rough on me.”

“Ever heard of princess and the pea?” You nodded confused, “Maybe there was a pea in your beds that’s why it was rough on you, only princesses can feel the pea.” You couldn’t control your laughter.

“Ain’t trying to steal my girl are you, Buck?”

“We share everything don’t we, punk?” Steve laughed and shook his head. Overhead you heard ships crashing into the Wakandan dome, frightening you a little bit. Before you knew it everyone went into battle mode. Through the field everyone ran, the gate of the dome began to open up for Thanos’ army, many sacrificing themselves just to get through the dome, bodies and head cut in half. Soon after, you followed the team into the forest to help Bruce and Vision out. A puff of smoke revealed Thanos who was trying to get to Vision. Red energy appeared in your peripheral vision and you knew what Wanda was doing. Thanos had thrown the Hulkbuster, Natasha was trapped, Groots branches were broken, Bucky was flung back and when you saw Steve running towards Thanos, the earth beneath you began to shake. You ran towards them both. You punched Thanos with everything you had, not even a drop of blood came from him.

“Y/N, run! I’ve got this!” Steve yelled.

��This is your love?” Thanos laughed, “Too bad for you.” Thanos grabbed you by the throat and smiled down at Steve.

“Y/N!”

“Let- let me go.” You choked. You scratched at his hands.

“You love him don’t you?”

“Get t-th-the fuck off m-me!” You were starting to lose breath, you could feel tears welling in your eyes as he squeezed tighter, “T-they’ll kill…” Silence came from you and Steve had done nothing but watch the love of his life go limp. Rage over came his body, rage and sadness. He yelled. He shouted as Thanos threw you to the ground, but he flew to the ground right next to you and Thanos made his way to Vision.

He crawled over to you, his eyes filled with tears.

“Please, Y/N, wake up for me, doll.” He sat up as much as he could and carried you onto his lap, “Please, please, oh fuck, baby, please.” He cried and yet you stay silent and you body still limp. He begged and pleaded, “I love you, Y/N.: He held you body close but suddenly you body began to deteriorate. You had turned into dust right in his arms, “No, no, no, what’s happening? Y/N!”

“Steve?” Bucky called. He too turning into dust.

“Oh god.”

Just like that everything Steve Rogers knew, his happiness, his future, his dreams, had turned into dust.

MASTERLIST

PERMANENT TAGLIST: @winchester-negan-one-shots@stevette60 @marvelous-fvcks @marvel-fanfiction@potterhead1265 @zoejohnson8 @frickin-bats @iamwarrenspeace@kenmen02 @captianwintersoldier @noelia8villa @bucky-bear-barnes @hollycornish @capsheadquaters @duncedgoofball@abouttimefortea@buchananbarnestrash @minervaem @barnes-heaven @buckyywiththegoodhair @mellifluous-melodramas @heartmade-writingbucky @hellomissmabel@justanotherbuckydevotee @alphaabucky @firebendergirl33 @naenae87 @sunnyfortomorrow @aya-fay @terraling@topthis808@savebxrnes @lediskogirl @mizzzpink @janellexox0 @potterhead1265 @lara-ludbey @bread-poet-society @nichola-royse

STEVE ROGERS/CHRIS EVANS TAGS: @always-an-evans-addict @kennadance14 @ourlordfarquaad

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the-canary · 6 years ago

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Mausoleum - B.B (3/7)

Summary: Well, this was certainly one way to go about a museum date with your historical crush. (Reader/Bucky Barnes).

Masterlist

A/N: This is for @jaamesbbarnes. welcome to me struggling to keep this 6 chapters, but we’ll see. also, reference to an old show somewhere >>;;

Part 1 | Part 2

Everett Ross is a smart man and while once he would have fallen under all the pressure placed on him by his superiors and all who looked to him for the next step, he didn’t do so now -- years of experience in both war and diplomacy have cooled him down. But underneath the veneer of civility, Ross is still a man that trust his instinct most of the all, that gut that has saved him a million times before even if he might play it off as something else. However, like any normal person, Everett Ross has flaws as well.

A certain soft, in the name of friendship and their shared past, towards a former lieutenant is one of them. Ross knows that it was stupid and downright dangerous to send a semi-suicidal person and a potential suicide mission, but he knew you. During your time in the Air Force, you read up on any book you could find on the Howling Commandos, specially Bucky Barnes -- you carried them around like a safety net and when your time was up, you used your resources to get degree after degree in American Military History with a honed focus on WWII.

The two of you were slowly becoming leading experts in your respective fields, but while Ross had overcome in his own ways the horrors of the Gulf and other missions (certainly a lie on some days), you hadn’t. The scars still burned and you had dropped out of your programs and jobs more than once because of the nightmares they caused, but that didn’t stop you -- the museum in New York being the latest gig and Everett wanted to believe that.

But, this was also an opportunity that he couldn’t miss, especially with the Winter Soldier, and you were his ace in the hole. However, as he watches the little red symbol showing him your location in Europe flash and disappear on the screen all of a sudden, he can’t help but let out a frustrated groan -- unsure of what happens next.

He just hopes, so unlike him, that he hasn’t killed you a second time.

It’s simple questions, he never talks more than necessary. Who are you? Who are you working for? What are the exacts details of your mission?

A long time ago, you would have fought tooth and nail to not give the answers to those questions, you would die before they knew what rattled in your head. However, now all that your head safeguarded was nightmares and regrets and you gladly hand them over to Bucky Barnes with those dark blue eyes and guarded expression. A haunted version of himself that you had idealized back as a teen, but after the Winter Soldier incident and looking at him now, he reminded you of Monty Clift after the car crash, barely hanging in there. He keeps asking, and you keep answering everything with completely honestly -- Ross would surely hate you.

“Air Force? What position?” his voice is rusty and breaks near the end once more, as he takes a bite out of his sandwich. Look normal, like a wandering and dirty American couple simply playing tourists and snuggling in to each other while eating.

“Yes, first lieutenant,” you smile bitterly behind your tea cup. Your eyes flicker between looking at his gloved hands and the dirty brown hair hiding his face, so completely different from the pictures and engravings that you had seen over the years. It’s shattering to see your idol like this, but at the same time you can’t blame him.

“How long?” he questions, glancing around the cafe to see who might be watching the two of you and memorizing all the exits for the 4th time, it eases him just a little to know he could escape at a moment’s notice.

“A couple of months,” you answer, as Bucky takes mental note of where he could have gone wrong that he could have been tracked down, knowing that he won’t make the same mistakes again -- not like this was any better though, “Since Scotland.”

“And you?”

“Search, nothing more than that,” you shrug, rolling your shoulder back in momentary pain, “Though, I was honestly expecting a fight.”

“I don’t do that anymore,” he says so softly that your heart breaks, as he wringes his two gloved hands together.

“I see that now, and I am sorry for expecting the worst,” you lament, as blue eyes widen by only a fraction at your declaration, making him wonder how long it had been since he had heard such words, wondering how they could be given so easily, and whether he even deserved them. However, in a quick second, he shakes all those thoughts away.

“Go home,” is all he says, as he begins to get up. Putting some change together to leave on the table before hanging his backpack on his shoulders once more.

“I’m sorry, I can’t do that,” you manage to answer back, before blue eyes turn to look at you, resolute in getting his words across, in having a say in what happens in his own life after so many years of being the first of HYDRA against his will.

“Don’t follow me,” is all he says before disappearing through the crowd, as you frown.

Bucky Barnes knows that you are connected some powerful people, maybe not HYDRA but someone else looking to bring him in and he knows the moment that something happened to you -- they were going to come after him first. And while blue eyes linger at the person he has actually had a long conversation with in more than 70 years, self-preservation got the better of him as he disappeared into the Belgium streets.

You’re short on time, knowing that with his location known, Bucky Barnes would mostly like be out of Antwerp by the end of the day, if not the hour so instead of going back to your shady hotel room -- you move forward. You decide to go into the shopping district, trying to best to get some travel gear and a decent set of clothes. Your phone has stop pinging, no sign of Bucky, but with your limited knowledge of where he is going and how to get into said country, you head to the closest train station. You know that this is stupid idea, that you are essentially running from a mission given to you by Ross (but not really) in order to follow an former assassin that could have you (but wouldn’t) disappear without a trace. This is all so ridiculous, but taking a deep breath and heading towards the ticket station and getting on the one that moved through the Belgium-France border.

“It leaves in a few minutes,” the station attendant manages to tell you and you’re off, running to catch an unsure train that might or might not be carrying Bucky Barnes to his next destination. There are too many uncertainties right now that a past version of yourself would be angered by the lack of control in your hands, but for now...you were okay with that, and that was saying a lot.

You sat down near the back, as you tried to stay calm for the moment but you couldn’t stop the rush of adrenaline at the flash of blue a few seats away, though you weren’t going to get up just because of one little incident. You were going to be on the train for a few hours, so you could scope everything out later. Fpr now, you took a deep breathe and settled in.

“Rett’s gonna freak out,” you giggle a bit, before cuddling your new backpack closer and watching as the train slowly starts to makes its way out of the station.

You were alive and you were going to be fine (maybe), even if that mean playing Ishmael for awhile.

Part 4

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fan fic #bucky barnes fic #james buchanan barnes x reader #james bucky barnes x reader #series: graves and dates #fabiola trying to write

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alternateafterthought · 7 years ago

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Now and Forever

Calum Hood x Reader

Summary: Coming back home for Y/N was something she had tried to avoid for many years and finding love was something she didn’t expect… not when her one greatest love was who she was avoiding.

Warning: Smut, language

Word Count: 9,438

A/N: Okay… so I got a little crazy and just started writing. I was going for a short and sweet smut but… well this happened. Leave a comment or message me if you would like to be added to my tag list. Requests are open.

Y/N had not been back home in years, 7 to be exact. Having left to go to university and overseas to finish her study, where she fell in love with an English painter. For 4 years they lived in a tiny studio apartment together in Rome, and Florence, and Paris, and Belgium, and recently in London. And after 4 years, Y/N had called it quits.

Y/N didn’t know when, but if she had to guess, 10 months ago she stopped feeling happy with her current situation. Actually, she wasn’t happy with moving around and still moving forward with her life, she wasn’t feeling the love she once had with her painter anymore. And Y/N’s mother had taught her not to beat around the bush, not to hold onto someone or something so tightly that it hurts her more.

So here she was, at Sydney International Airport, her entire life packed into 2 massive suitcases and a handbag. Y/N was just happy to be back on home soil, the humid air a welcome to her exposed skin, the sun warming her, a thin layer of sweat slinging to her. She knew how to deal with the heat, even after nearly 5 years of living international Y/N’s skin still welcomed the Australian sun, the smell of the sea living in her hair.

“Y/N, over here.” A voice spoke over the crowd.

Y/N smiled and waved; “Hey dad.” She ran in for a hug.

“How have you been?” He asked as Y/N pulled away a little, fixing her handbag back up her shoulder.

“I’ve been good.” Y/N smiled. “But god have I missed this place.”

“Well it’s definitely missed you.” Y/N laughed a little as he dad kept talking. “It’s been quiet for 5 years now, with you and the boys leaving to follow your dreams, it’s been too quiet for all of us.”

“The boys don’t come home much?” Y/N asked, trying not to sound too invested into them.

“You’d be surprised how when children leave the nest and have a taste of freedom how quickly they don’t come back.” Y/N’s dad smiled knowingly at his only daughter.

“I called, and texted and wrote.” Y/N laughed as her dad took the cart with her bags as they started to walk out into the parking lot. “How many people my age write letters?”

“Sweetie, only you would write a handwritten letter every week to your mother and me so you didn’t accidently call when someone you were avoiding was visiting.” Her dad laughed as she punched his arm.

“I was not avoiding anyone.” Y/N laughed.

“Riiiight.” Her dad laughed loudly. “And the thought of the boys being home wouldn’t make you book the first flight out of here.”

“Of course not…” Y/N shrugged, smirking. “I’d go for a drive to Nan’s out in the country and see how she’s going.”

“You’re something else, Y/N. I’ll give you that.” Y/N’s dad smiled, wrapping his arm around his daughter as they finally reached the car.

“I’m awesome what are you talking about?” Y/N laughed as she got into the passenger seat of her dad’s jeep.

“Just get in the car.” Y/N’s dad rolled his eyes laughing. “Your mother is expecting you home for a long stay.”

“Johnny and Benji?” Y/N asked, turning in her seat.

“Well Benji is at school, you know he started 9th grade this year right?” He asked.

“I sent him a backpack, remember?” Y/N nodded as she watched her dad get into the driver’s seat.

“Oh right. He refuses to use any other bag for school.” He shook his head, thinking of it. “And where else would Johnny be?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Well I was praying he got himself a girlfriend by now and moved out of mums.” Y/N laughed. “But I guess you can’t pick and choose your kids.”

“Don’t I know it.” Y/N’s dad pulled out of the space, heading for the exit.

“I hate you.” Y/N laughed.

“Nah, you just hate I’m the only one who can keep up with you.” Y/N’s dad laughed. “But you better remember where you got it from.”

“I know where.” Y/N watched the passing cars. “Mum’s pretty good at keeping you in line too.”

Laughing loudly at her dad’s mocking shocked face, Y/N couldn’t help but watch the passing life around her. The beaches, the people, the heat, her family. She didn’t realise just how much she had missed everything as they finally pulled up into the driveway of her childhood home. She could see through a window, her mum practically running around the kitchen, no doubt food everywhere, covering every surface on the kitchen and dining.

Y/N saw the exact moment her mum spotted her, she had dropped something and screamed with joy. Mind you, Y/N screamed just as loud, throwing her handbag at her dad as she ran towards the door. Her mum had beat her to it, throwing the door open and wrapping her arms around her daughter, pulling her in tight as she began to cry.

“Mum, please don’t cry. Your gonna make me cry.” Y/N wiped at the few that had already started to fall.

“I can cry if I want. My daughter has finally come home after 5 long years.” She pulled back a little, setting her hands on Y/N’s cheeks. “You look beautiful. London agreed with you.”

“Not like home though.” Y/N smiled. “So, what have you cooked for me? I’m starving and I want to eat before I go pick Benji up.”

“You sure you want to? You just got home.” Her mum asked.

“I did promise the minute I got home, I was to pick Benji up no matter what.” Y/N smiled.

“Shit, who the fuck let you back in the country?” Asked a voice from the door.

“The same people who mixed up the babies and gave us you.” Y/N smirked at her older brother.

“You wish.” Johnny laughed as he pulled her into a bear hug.

“Eww, get off me. You’re all sweaty.” Y/N struggled to get out of her brothers hold. “What have you been doing?”

“Three guesses.” Johnny wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Packing your shit to move out of mum’s house?” Y/N mocked concentration. “I mean it’s definitely not getting laid because who would want you?”

“You’re such a brat.” Johnny reached for Y/N, tickling her.

“Hey, leave your sister alone and come help me with these bags.” Y/N’s dad called to Johnny.

“Why can’t she take her own crap inside?” Johnny asked, walking towards their dad anyway.

“Because they like me more.” Y/N laughed as her mum came to wrap an arm around her waist.

“That’s enough you two.” She spoke. “Now get those into Y/N’s room. We’ll be in the kitchen.” Walking into the never changing house, Y/N turned to her mum as she continued to speak. “So how long are you back for?”

“Um… I’m thinking about moving back actually.” Y/N smiled as they walked into the kitchen.

“Are you serious?” Her mum asked, hopeful.

“Yeah I’m missing home.” Y/N smiled. “So I figured I can travel whenever I want, but I would go looking for an apartment or something here.”

“You’ve stopped running then?” Her mum asked excited.

“Why is everyone asking if I’m running? What is there to run from?” Y/N asked confused.

“So you haven’t been running from Calum these past 5 years?” Johnny asked, walking in to the kitchen, their dad behind.

“Why would I be running from him?” Y/N asked a little more harshly then she’d have liked to.

Y/N watched as her parents looked at each other, questioningly. This just made her confused, why would she be running from Calum? Well, the more appropriate question would be, how did they figure out she was running from Calum.

“Well you have been in love with him since forever.” Johnny laughed as he jumped to sit on the counter.

“Are we talking about the same person?” Y/N asked.

“So she’s still in denial.” Johnny looked at their parents before picking up one of the chocolate chip cookies that sat on the counter next to him.

“Johnny, those are for your sister.” Y/N’s mum quickly changed the subject.

“Well it’s not like she’s going to eat them all. You made near 3 batches.” He said around a bite.

“So, what did you cook, sweetheart?” Dad asked mum, kissing her cheek.

“Y/N’s favorite.” Her mum smiled at her.

“Grandma’s friend chicken?” Y/N asked excited.

“Now that’s a welcome home or what?” Her dad asked.

“That depends… Grandpa’s Pie too?” Y/N asked.

“You can’t have Grandma’s fried chicken without Grandpa’s Pie.” Her mum smiled, touching her nose.

“Yes.” Y/N took her jacket off. “How can I help?”

“Which translates to, what can she eat?” Johnny laughed, getting down from the counter.

“Go sit down. I’ve done everything.” Her mum laughed. “You too love.” She leaned over and kissed her husband.

After Y/N sat down and caught up with her family and ate as much fried chicken and pie as her body would allow her to, she took her father’s jeep and drove the familiar streets of Sydney to her younger brother’s school. Y/N had not seen him in person since he was 9 and just starting 4th grade, and now he was 14 and she couldn’t wait to see him. Pulling up into the car park, she got out of the car and walked to the office to get him out of class.

When he was called out, she saw his feet dragged, the backpack she had sent him firmly on his back. He looked down at his feet before looking up and taking in the room before him. When he realised it was his big sister, Y/N, standing in front of him, his face picked up, a small yell leaving his lips as he ran and jumped into her arms.

“Y/N/N!” He wrapped his little arms around her neck.

“Hey buddy.” Y/N spun him around. “It’s so good to see you.”

“I thought you were never coming home.” Benji spoke into Y/N’s neck.

“Of course I was coming home. I had to see my little man didn’t i?” Y/N asked as Benji moved back a little.

Benji nodded as he laughed a little, placing his little hands on Y/N’s cheeks; “Can we go to the beach right now?”

“Not right now buddy.” Y/N laughed a little. “But it is Friday, so how about tomorrow, me and you spend the whole day at the beach?”

“That sounds fair.” Benji smiled.

Getting into the jeep, Y/N couldn’t help but stare at her little brother a bit, well not so little brother anymore.

“What?” He asked, fixing his hat.

“Nothing. You’ve just grown so much since I saw you late.” Y/N pulled out of the school. “Soon you won’t be my little brother anymore. I mean you’re almost taller than me now.”

“Well you haven’t seen me in what?” Benji shrugged. “5 years now.”

“Yeah, 5 years now.” Y/N echoed.

“You haven’t changed much though.” Benji looked at his sister, still the spitting imagine of what he remembers. “Except your hair.”

“I was always blonde.” Y/N touched her hair.

“Nah, when I saw you last, you had pink hair.” Benji smiled, thinking of the last picture he had of his sister.

“Oh yeah, I was right.” Y/N laughed.

“Did mum make friend chicken for you?” Benji asked.

“Yeah she did. She made enough for the entire street.” Y/N nodded.

“She’s been cooking since last night. I think she’s invited some people over tonight for you.” Benji watched Y/N’s face cringe.

“Why?” Y/N looked up.

“You’ve been gone for a while. She must want to convince everyone you really are back in town.” Benji laughed.

“I’m not some myth.” Y/N said.

“You might as well have been.” Benji looked to Y/N again.

“Well I’m home now.” Y/N smiled. “And I’m not going anywhere. Not for a long time.”

“What?” Benji asked.

“You wanna help me find an apartment next week? Because if I’m going to stay here, I need somewhere to live.” Y/N smiled.

“You’re really staying?” Benji asked, unsure.

“I’m really staying. If I go anywhere, you can come with me if you want.” Y/N reassured him.

Even after Y/N and Benji got back home, their mother was dancing around the kitchen, cooking up a storm. With a quick wave to them, she handed Benji a small plate of food before Y/N went into her room, finding that not one bit of it had changed in the time that she was away. But Y/N didn’t really stop to look around, instead climbing into bed and falling straight to sleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

When Y/N woke up, the sun no longer enveloped the room, but instead it was dark, a glow coming from out of her window. Y/N could tell before getting up that her parents had a bonfire light in the back yard, the smell of a bbq came up to her room on the second story of their house, the sound of people talking and laughing coming through her open windows. Y/N rolled onto her back, knowing she will need to get changed and go down and socialise when all she really wanted to do was roll over and go back to sleep.

“Mum wanted me to wake you like half an hour ago.” Benji spoke from the desk chair in Y/N’s room. “I figured you wouldn’t have wanted to go down anyway so I didn’t bother to wake you.”

“This is why I love you.” Y/N smiled at her little brother. “But we both know mum will be up any minute now. I should at least change my clothes.”

“I’ll wait outside.” Benji stood and walked to the door.

“Who’s out there?” Y/N asked.

She got her answer by a simple look from Benji. One that said ‘Everyone’. With a nod, Y/N stood from her bed, going through her suitcases to find something for the now cooler air that was sweeping through her windows. Considering it was still short weather of an Australian Summer, Y/N opted for jean shorts and a sweater, slipping into a pair of flats before moving her hair into a quick ponytail and moving out of her room.

“Hey sweetie, I was just coming to get you.” Y/N’s mum stood at the top of the stairs. “I sent Benji up here half an hour ago to get you. Everyone’s been waiting to see you.”

“Yeah, I heard.” Y/N smiled.

“Well, out ya come.” Her mum held out a hand. “Your Aunt and Uncle are here to see you. They want to say hello.”

“Fun.” Y/N faked enthusiasm that her mother chose to ignore.

Following her mother and Benji, Y/N saw that the back yard was full of people, her dad standing at the bbq with her uncle, and 3 other men as they laughed and drank beer. Her Aunt was standing in the kitchen with 3 other women who Y/N quickly recognised straight away.

“Y/N it’s so good to finally have you back home.” Y/N’s aunt wrapped her into a hug.

“Hey, how’ve you been?” Y/N asked stepping back.

“I’ve been good, but what about you? Living overseas and coming back to little ole Sydney.” She stepped back to stand with the other women.

“Well everyone comes back home someday right.” Y/N moved along to the next person.

“Hey sweetie, it’s so good to see you.” Liz Hemmings hugged Y/N.

“You too.” Y/N smiled, then hugged Karen Clifford. “Hello, how are ya?”

“Good. Good.” Karen smiled, kissing Y/N’s cheek.

“About time you came home.” Anne Marie Irwin wrapped her arms around Y/N. “Lauren was about ready to fly over to London and bring you back herself.”

“I was meant to visit earlier, I just…” Y/N breathed deeply shaking her head as she smiled and thought about her time away.

“Was in love.” Joy Hood smiled, moving to where Anne once stood.

“Yeah, I was in love.” Y/N smiled widely.

“He was a writer, right?” Joy asked, holding Y/N to her as they faced everyone.

“A painter actually.” Y/N nodded.

“How long were you with him?” Karen asked.

“4 years. And 5 countries.” Y/N smiled.

“5 countries?” Joy asked.

“We meet in Florence and lived there for a year. Then Rome, then Belgium, the Paris and finally London for 8 months.” Y/N listed her homes for the past 4 years.

“That would have been so amazing and romantic with a painter.” Anne swooned with the other girls.

“Oh god yes it was.” Y/N thought back to her time in Europe. “He was like… so intense you know.” Y/N smiled. “Like sometimes he’d go into like a trance and paint for days. Then on the 4th or 5th day he’d stop painting and like… worship me.” Every women in the room gave a jealous moan. “We’d just stay up all night talking and just… loving each other. He’d take me to breakfast, he cooked for me-“

“Okay stop, stop.” Karen laughed. “Your just teasing us now.”

“That was the point.” Y/N laughed with the others.

“So, why’d you come back home? And without this amazing man?” Liz asked.

“Um… We just fell out of love. Our lives going in 2 completely different ways.” Everyone giving an understandable nod. “I wasn’t going to drag him along if we were only going to end up hating each other.”

“That’s actually very grown up of you.” Liz smiled.

“Who would have thought Y/N would have grown into the most sensible out of all of our children.” Joy laughed, as they all remembered their children’s younger years.

“Well… I was bound to mature faster than any of the boys.” Y/N laughed. “That and I think we can all agree that I didn’t take as many hits to the head as any of the boys.”

The laughter that erupted caught the attention of the men out the back, all listening to the women inside laughing. Y/N’s father caught the sight of his only daughter, laughing with the women inside, she was home and she was safe, that’s all he could be thankful for.

It was later, everyone had eaten and were now sitting around the bonfire, talking and drinking. Y/N looked around and couldn’t be happier with where she was right now, having missed these nights. There was something still missing, but Y/N would never admit that to anyone, let alone herself.

“I’m going to get a drink. Anyone want one?” Y/N stood.

“Yes please.” Her mum said.

“Me too.”

“Yep.”

“I would.”

“Please.”

5 people raised a hand. With a nod, Y/N moved into the house and to the kitchen to get what she needed. Y/N could feel something, someone watching her, but she couldn’t see anyone around her. Sitting everything on the counter, she moved to the front door and opened it, seeing something she wasn’t expecting to.

Screaming at the top of her lungs, Y/N slammed the door on a screaming man’s face. She moved back a little too quickly for herself and tripped over, falling to the ground as the door swung open again, 4 people running towards her to help her up. Y/N saw everyone from the back run in to see what was happening, seeing Y/N laying on the floor, Calum Hood kneeling next to her body, Ashton, Michael and Luke leaning over top.

“Aw man.” Y/N reached up and punched Calum on the arm.

“Ow, seriously?” Calum asked.

“You scared the shit out of me asshole.” Y/N closed her eyes, holding her head.

“Well there’s no need to beat me up for that.” Calum moved his hands to touch the back of Y/N’s head. “Did you hit your head hard?”

“No…” Y/N moved Calum’s hands away. “I feel on my arse, not my head.”

“Well what’s the difference with you?” Michael smirked over Y/N.

Y/N didn’t answer, instead giving him a middle finger salute which he laughed at. Calum helped Y/N stand before she moved back to take a look at all of them.

“So…” Y/N was at a loss for words.

“How’ve you been?” Ashton asked.

“Good. Good. Yourself?” Y/N nodded.

“Yeah good.” Ashton nodded.

“We’ve been pretty busy lately.” Luke Smiled. “New album and all.”

“You guys finally have new music?” Y/N asked, knowing the 5sos fandom was on meltdown having not had anything new in way too long.

“Why are we acting like we don’t know you?” Michael asked, pulling Y/N into his body. “How’s it going you dork.”

“It’s good to be home.” Y/N hugged Michael tightly, glad he didn’t treat her any differently. “What about you though? You guys travel just as much as I do.”

“Yeah, but we haven’t been avoiding coming home for nearly 5 years.” Michael laughed as Luke came in for a hug.

“Holy shit…” Y/N laughed.

“What?” Luke asked confused.

“You got big.” Y/N looked up to him. “I mean look at these shoulders.” Y/N put her hands on his shoulders. “You must have girls falling at your feet now kid.”

“Your such an asshole.” Luke laughed, tucking hair behind his ear.

“Kid your hot. Own it.” Y/N laughed, slapping his arse before jumping into Ashton’s arms.

“How the heck are ya?” Ashton spun around with Y/N in his arms.

“I’m home. How do you think I am?” Y/N laughed as he put her down.

“Glad to be home.” Ashton kissed her forehead.

“So, how long are you home for?” Luke asked as Y/N stood beside him, sinking naturally under his arm.

“Um… I’m here to stay.” Y/N smiled up at him. “I got bored of London. I wanted the heat and the beach and my mum.” Y/N looked at her mum who stood with everyone else.

It was then that Y/N remembered Calum was behind her, having stood off to the side, hands tucked away deep in his pockets. He concentrated on his shoes, listening to everything, just like she remembered him. Calum had always been quiet, and after growing up together, Y/N knew that it was just Calum… until she caught a glimpse of his eyes and Y/N could tell exactly what he was thinking.

“Hey.” Y/N smiled to Calum.

“Hey.” He nodded.

It was quiet until; “Really? That’s all you two got to say to each other? ‘Hey’.”

Y/N turned and saw Mali standing at the open door. Ashton, Luke, Michael and Calum acted quickly, covering their ears as Y/N and Mali screamed and tackled each other to the ground. Each girl almost in tears having not seen each other in years, having felt like they lost a sister almost 5 years ago.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Mali whispered to Y/N.

“Running.” Y/N whispering back to Mali, knowing she was the only one who knew.

“Well if you do it again imma fuck you up.” Mali laughed.

“I’m surprisingly okay with that.” Y/N laughed.

“Y/N!” A voice screamed, Y/N seeing only a flash of colours jumping on her. “YOU’RE BACK!”

“Lauren… Look at you. You’ve grown so much.” Y/N laughed, moving to wrap her arms around Lauren.

“Okay, okay. Up you guys get.” Y/N’s mum started to help the girls up. “Y/N’s not going anywhere, you can talk to her all night if you want to.”

“Come on ladies. I think I owe you a drink.” Y/N pulled Mali and Lauren with her.

“Well looks like we won’t be seeing these girls for the next 12 hours.” Ashton laughed.

“Nah… something closer to 15 hours.” Luke walked past the girls as they stood at the bottom of the stairs.

“At least we know it won’t be 5 years.” Calum moved to the kitchen.

“More like 3 and a half years… right Cal.” Y/N raised an eyebrow as she walked up the stairs, leaving everyone confused.

Mali and Lauren moved behind Y/N quickly, even though the girls weren’t the same ages, they were sisters and protected each other and loved like sisters. No matter what they go through, no matter what they do or where they go. They’re sisters.

It was about 2am when Mali and Lauren were passed out, Y/N leaving them to sleep as she moved through the now quiet house. Y/N already knew where she was going, she knew what she was going to do… what she didn’t know was how the night was going to end.

Walking a block away from her own house, Y/N moved into a the darkness of another familiar house, moving down the side of the house to the back door. Y/N wasn’t surprised to see Calum sitting on the steps of the back door, cigarette lit as he waited to her. They didn’t move for a few moments, each of them watching the other closely, trying to decide if the other was really here.

“What’re you doing here?” Calum asked, sounding bored.

“I came to talk.” Y/N crossed her arms over her chest.

“You came to talk? Now?” Calum asked, checking his phone. “At 2am, you came to talk?”

“If I’d have shown up tomorrow morning with your parents or sister or the boys here, would you have talked to me?” Y/N raised an eyebrow. With Calum’s silence Y/N spoke; “Exactly. So let’s talk.”

“What’s there to say Y/N?” Calum spoke quickly. “I tell you I love you and run away on the first flight to god knows where. Doesn’t sound like there’s much to talk about.”

“It wasn’t like that.” Y/N sighed.

“Then what was it like?” Calum put his cigarette out. “If you didn’t love me back, that’s all you had to say. I didn’t need that stupid letter you wrote me. Or one night together to never see you again.” Calum walked down the 3 steps, standing face to face with the girl who broke both of their hearts.

“I-“

“I don’t want any excuses Y/N. I don’t need answers that are going to raise more questions for me.” Calum stepped a little closer to Y/N. “Just be completely honest with me.”

“I loved you then like I love you now.” Y/N said straight away, hearing Calum’s breath hitch. “I just couldn’t be with you.”

“And whys that?” Calum asked.

“I-“ Y/N cut herself off, breathing deeply. “I was pregnant.”

“What?” Calum stepped back a little.

“The day you told me you loved me, was the day I found out I was pregnant.” Y/N looked at the space between them. “I was 17, I was scared. So I booked the first flight out of Sydney to my Aunt over in Italy. I was going to have the baby and never come back.”

“So… you have a child somewhere in the world?” Calum asked, a little shocked.

“No I don’t.” Y/N looked almost broken then. “3 months in, I had a miscarriage.” Calum moved closer to Y/N, pushing his hands deep into the pockets of his sweat pants so he didn’t touch her. “But I was so ashamed of just running out on you that I never came back. I finished school there and then I meet him.”

“So when I found you, you lead me on.” Calum accused Y/N.

“No… I just… I wanted to feel loved by a man I loved back. Even for just one night.” Y/N bared her soul. “But I was so scared and ashamed of everything that I felt I didn’t deserve you, no matter how much I loved you.”

“That was never your decision to make alone.” Calum spoke softly. “That’s something we should have decided together.”

Y/N looked into Calum’s soft eyes, a small smile playing on his lips. She had missed this, being around Calum, but after everything she had done, she felt she didn’t deserve to be. So why was she still here?

She was still standing there because she could still feel the ghost of what Calum had left her with before. The memory of his hands on her skin, burning to the touch, how his lips kissed every inch of her body, caressed the places she needed him to be. Y/N was, for the first time in her life, screamed in her head to be selfish and to take what she wanted. But she needed something, which would drive her selfishness, a sign that if she took what she wanted, she was never going to run again.

“Fuck.” Calum whispered, taking a small step back.

Y/N was a little confused, hurt even, until she watched Calum move his hand, fixing what was an impressive bulge in his pants. She smirked then, finding what she needed in that moment for her to reach out her hand and pull Calum closer to her own body, feeling his harsh breath brush against her face.

“God I missed you.” Calum whispered as his hands gripped Y/N’s waist, pulling her right against his warm body.

Y/N’s hands wrapped themselves into Calum’s thick hair, pulling at it slightly as she bought her lips up to meet his own in a familiar kiss. For a fraction of a second, Calum’s lips softly caressed Y/N’s, before he claimed hers in a fierce kiss, opening her mouth for him, allowing their tongues to meet. A deep grown came from the back of Calum’s throat as she walked him back to the step, breaking the kiss only slightly as he sat back down, pulling Y/N on top to straddle him.

Calum’s large hands moved down her body, coming down to cup her ass, bringing her up higher to sit just where he needed her. Y/N’s hands moved down his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart, perfectly in tune with her own racing heart as they continued a heated rushed kiss. Calum moved his hips, pushing his clothed cock against Y/N’s pussy, ripping an inhuman noise from Y/N’s lips. She moved back a little, resting her forehead on Calum’s, trying to catch watch little breath was around them in that moment.

“We cant.” Y/N moved her hands to his hair again. “I have your sister and Lauren at my house and I promised Benji that we’d hand out tomorrow. I can’t change my plans with him.”

“Okay…” Calum moved back, taking deep breathes. “Okay that’s understandable.”

“But I won’t leave you like this.” Y/N’s hands travelled down Calum’s body, reaching his sweat pants. “Just let me do this for you.”

“Here? Outside?” Calum raised an eyebrow at the women on top of him.

“We’ve already wasted enough time… so why bother going inside?” Y/N asked as her hand slipped into the front of his sweats.

Y/N gripped, well tried to, the base of Calum’s cock, moving her hand slowly to the tip as she climbed off of his lap and down to her knees. Y/N moved his sweats as his cock stood hard and free, with one look, she gripped him with both hands, running her thump over the slippery tip. Y/N’s eyes never once left Calum’s as she wrapped her lips around the tip of his cock, drawing out a groan from Calum as he intensely watched Y/N on her knees in front of him.

“Shit… fuck…” Calum breathed out, his hands pulling Y/N’s hair up to the top of her head, never obstructing from the view he had.

Y/N’s eyes watched as Calum’s grew darker as she moved his cock, running her tongue from his balls to the tip, opening her mouth to take in as much as she could. Calum hit the back of her throat as she gagged slightly, one hand holding the base of his cock the other moving to cup his balls.

Calum thrusted on instinct then, causing Y/N’s eyes to slightly water, she could feel spit drip down her chin. Calum moved on his own now, Y/N moaning around his in her mouth as he cursed her name and moaned.

“I’m gonna cum.” Calum breathed out.

Y/N pushed Calum’s hips down, moving back to the top before deep throating his entire cock. After the fourth bob of her head, Calum’s hand gripped her hair tightly, pushing her down as he came. Y/N had braced herself, as spurt after spurt of cum hit the back of her throat before she moved back, gulping in as much air as her lungs would allow her as spit and cum trailed down her jaw and chest.

Calum took a moment to catch his breath before putting himself back into his pants and walking inside quickly to grab paper towel as he came back to take care of Y/N. They were quiet, the loudest thing being the wind as Calum handed Y/N paper towel to clean herself up before looking back up to Calum.

He didn’t have to think about it, not even what just happen was going to stop him, and he moved his hand to Y/N’s chin, lifting her head to look as him as he kissed her, softly on the mouth. This time it was soft and was going nowhere and yet it meant more to both of them then any before.

“I’ll walk you home.” Calum murmured against Y/N’s lips.

“You don’t have to.” She smiled.

“I know I don’t have to. But I want to.” Calum intertwined their hands. “I’m not letting you go this time. Not ever.”

Standing out of the front Y/N’s house, Calum pulled her back into his body, kissing her softly.

“Can I see you tomorrow?” Calum whispered.

“I’m hanging out with Benji all day.” Y/N smiled.

“Let me take you to dinner then. Just me and you.” Calum looked into her eyes.

“Dinner? I’d love that.” Y/N kissed his lips again. “But we can’t let anyone know.” Calum looked hurt, but Y/N continued. “I want you all to myself for a little while.”

“That sounds fair.” Calum Kissed Y/N’s nose lightly. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” Y/N laughed as she ran around her house to the back door to sneak back into her house and up to her room where Mali and Lauren were still peacefully asleep.

For the entire day, nothing or no one could ruin Y/N’s day. The smile on her face seemed to be permanently etched on her lips, and no one questioned it, thinking she was just glad to be home. The only person who knew what was really going on was Calum, who had been impatient about seeing Y/N all day, but had happily given her the time with her family.

At around 2 in the afternoon, Y/N got a text from Calum to meet him at his place, which could only mean one thing… Calum asked Joy to cook. And she could smell it. The food wafting out of every open window as Y/N stood in front of Calum’s house, knocking twice before she heard heavy footsteps running to answer the door. The smile on both their faces matched as Calum opened the door, staring at each other as time slowed to a stop.

“Hey.” Y/N smiled.

“Hey.” Calum moved back a little. “Come in.”

Smiling, Y/N took his outstretched hand, as they made their way to the kitchen. Y/N was nervous. The last time they had eaten anything together, Y/N had been left at the restaurant, alone, confused and ready to run. Now, here they were standing in the Hood family’s dining room, Calum pulling out a chair for Y/N to sit down.

“Thank you.” She smiled as she sat.

“You’re welcome.” Calum kissed her cheek lightly before moving to the kitchen to grab 2 plates. “I had mum make up this before she went out.”

“I figured as much.” Y/N laughed lightly. “Last I remember you burn water.”

“Hey!” Calum sat a plate in front of her. “I can actually cook now.”

“Just not steak and potatoes?” Y/N looked at the plate then to Calum’s red face.

“Okay, I’m still learning.” He laughed a little, scratching the back of his neck.

“Well it looks amazing.” Y/N smiled. “I’ll have to thank your mum when I see her next.” She laughed a little. “Speaking of, where are your parents?”

“I asked them if I could have the house for a few hours.” Calum watched Y/N cut a piece of steak, watching as her lips wrapped around the meat, her tongue catching a bit of gravy that drips down her lips. “I said I wanted to hang out with you like old times. So I treated them to dinner.”

“Well, that’s very generous of you.” Y/N moaned around the piece of meat in her mouth. “This is so good.”

A hushed silence fell over the two as they started to eat, the echo of metal forks hitting the plate the only sound. They had been here once before and it didn’t end well, no doubt both of them thinking about it, the air having a touch of unease hanging over them.

“This is awkward for you, isn’t it?” Calum stated it more than asking a question. “Is it me?”

“What? No. no, this is perfect.” Y/N shook her head. “You’re perfect.” Y/N looked into Calum’s rich brown eyes, thinking of the earth after it’s rained. “I just don’t want to mess this up… not again.”

“Believe me. You won’t.” Calum smiled, moving to stand in front of Y/N. “No matter what, I’m holding onto you this time.”

“Second door on the left right?” Y/N asked a confused Calum as she stood, walking to the hall. “You’re bedroom?”

“Yeah.” Calum nodded, eyes darkening.

“Well, come on then. Second door on the left.”

Y/N and Calum stumbled into his room, their lips moving in time with their hands ripping at each other’s clothes. The glow of a street light out the front of the house was their only source of light as clothes started to be thrown around the room, the cool air caressing Y/N’s heated skin as Calum lay her on the bed.

“God, I missed you.” Calum hovered over Y/N’s exposed body, moving the strap over her bra down her arm to expose her breast.

“Touch me.” Y/N moaned.

Calum’s warm mouth enclosed around Y/N’s hard nipple as he pulled his jeans off his own body, never leaving direct contact with her skin.

“This isn’t going to be slow.” Calum looked up to Y/N, dragging her panties down her thigh slowly.

“I need-“ Y/N cut herself off. “Please.”

“God yes.” Calum confirmed, tossing her panties away and unclipping her bra and discarding it just as quickly.

Calum leaned down again, sucking on Y/N’s nipple again, causing her to moan, her hands dug into his hair, pulling at it. As he threw her bra off, his hot mouth transferred to her other nipple, showing it just as much attention as the other as her nails moved across Calum’s scalp.

“Condom.” Y/N whispered.

Calum moved off her a little, reaching into his top draw of one of his bed side tables, sitting a box on the table before grabbing one of them. Ripping it open, Y/N took it from him, sitting up against the headboard.

“Lay down.” Y/N smiled, moving around him.

Calum’s slightly laboured breath passed Y/N’s ear as he lay down, taking the spot she once lay. Straddling his waist, Y/N gripped him, swiping her thumb over the tip as he jerked forward before she rolled the condom on. Shuffling up a little, Y/N sat closer to where she needed to be, but she had to ask first.

“Are you sure?” Her doubt getting the best of her.

“Yes. I want you. Now and forever.” Calum’s soft voice reached her ears.

Smiling at him, Y/N took Calum’s cock in her hand, rubbing him against her wet pussy a few times as he thrusted forward, needing to be inside her as much as she needed him. Slowly, Y/N moved up a little before lining him up perfect for her to let him enter her. Taking him all the way to the hilt, Calum cursed as Y/N let out a moan, throwing her head back, eyes closed. Calum’s hands gripped Y/N’s waist, his fingertips digging into her skin as she moved slightly to get comfortable, adjusting to his impressive size.

“Oh god.” Y/N groaned. “God…”

“Are you okay?” Calum asked as he bit his lip, trying not to move.

“Yeah. Yeah I’m perfect.” Y/N laughed a little. “I just forgot how big you were.”

Y/N took a few deep breaths, leaning forward a little to get comfortable. Calum watched carefully, not wanting to hurt Y/N in any way, watching for any sign to pull out at any moment.

“Please fuck me.” Y/N looked into Calum’s eyes, giving him the nod to go for it.

Calum’s grip on Y/N became feral as he slowly eased out of her and thrust deep within her, causing a small scream to fall out of Y/N’s mouth. With every pounding thrust, Y/N cried out in pleasure, never missing a beat as she pushed down against him to meet every thrust. Calum never once slowed down his quick pace, his eyes never leaving the beautiful women on top of him, head thrown back, hair falling around her, moans and cries leaving her lips as he pounded into her.

“Oh my god… I’m gonna cum.” Y/N moved her hands to lean forward on Calum. “Shit, your gonna make me cum.”

“Same.” Calum could just hiss out as he hit deep inside of Y/N.

Y/N came then, Calum hitting the perfect spot within her, never slowing as he watched her come completely undone on top of him. As Y/N started to shake with bliss, Calum reached his own orgasm, holding Y/N to his sweaty body as they both tried to catch their breath.

Listening as Calum’s heartbeat came to a slow steady pace, Y/N finally moved to remove Calum from inside of her still, rolling off of him to the side. She closed her eyes and breath softly, feeling Calum move off the bed and then running water before coming back. When Y/N opened her eyes again, Calum was getting into bed again, moving as close as he could, pulling Y/N in and wrapping a blanket around them both. It was then, it the quiet and bliss, that Y/N drift off to sleep.

Y/N woke up a few hours later, rolling over to see it was 1am, to use the bathroom and get a glass of water. She had gone out to the kitchen in one of Calum’s shirts and a pair of his boxers to get a glass of water when she saw that they had forgotten to clean up their dinner after they only ate half of it. Not being one to leave the mess, Y/N started to clean the table down, before starting to wash the dishes.

She heard his soft footfalls, moving towards the kitchen. She didn’t have to turn to see he was only in a pair of sweats, or that he was rubbing his eyes as he walked to towards her. Calum’s warm hands came to sit on her hips, moving his body to press against Y/N’s, as his lips kissed the shell of her ear.

“You don’t have to do this.” Calum whispered, moving his hand under her shirt, his fingers splaying across her stomach.

“I can’t just leave it here for your mother to clean.” Y/N smiled, pulling the plug out to drain the water. “I don’t mind.”

“Well, I should at least say thank you for that.” Calum moved his hands down into the waistband of the boxers she wore, easing his middle finger inside of Y/N.

Jerking backwards, Y/N moved closer to Calum’s body, her ass hitting Calum’s semi hard dick; “Oh god.” Y/N breathed deeply.

“Will you let me say thank you?” Calum’s thumb brushed against her clit, trailing his fingers down her cunt, massaging her inner walls.

“Oh God… yes.” Y/N’s head moved back to lean against his bare shoulder.

Y/N’s hands gripped the edge of the sink, her knuckles white as Calum’s other hand moved up to cup her breast. Calum buried his fingers deep within Y/N, moving faster as Y/N gripped his wrist, keeping his hand where she needed him, his lips moved against her neck. Y/N started to breath heavily, writhing against Calum’s hand. Y/N’s eyes were closed, head thrown back as she moaned loudly, Calum’s fingers moving quicker.

“Cum on my hand. I got ya.” Calum whispered.

Biting her lip, Y/N’s body shuddered, trying not to scream as her orgasm pulsed through her body. Calum moving his hand to rub her clit fast and hard as she withered, her hands moving from the sink to grip Calum’s thighs, her body hitting the edge of the sink as Calum pushed her forward.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Y/N breathed out.

Calum kicked Y/N’s legs apart, moving her to lean down as she heard something ripping. She could tell what it was as she positioned herself to lean back over the sink, still trying to breath normally. Calum pushed the boxer she wore down, which now sat at her ankles, his own following suit at his ankles.

“I’m gonna need you to be very quiet.” Calum whispered.

“Mmmh.” Y/N moaned as she felt his cock move against her. “So big.” She whispered as he pushed forward down to the hilt.

Calum’s hands gripped Y/N’s waist, pulling her back to meet his thrust. He didn’t give her time to adjust to his size, but she didn’t need it as she pushed back against him, moaning as her head fell forward. Y/N could only hear two things, Calum’s skin slapping against her own and the deep groans falling from Calum’s lips, trying her hardest to not make any noise.

Y/N felt completely filled by Calum, driving in and out, in and out of her, taking her to delirious pleasure.

“Yes. Yes. Yes.” Y/N chanted quietly. “Please. God yes.”

Calum was hitting her sweet spot, repeatedly and without pause, almost ripping her next orgasm out of her soul. Calum place his hand over Y/N’s mouth to quieten her as she withered through her second orgasm. Calum whispered something, his voice deeper than ever before as he started to cum, his cock throbbing inside of Y/N. He stayed buried, deep in Y/N’s warm pussy as they both breathed deeply, trying to catch any air they could.

Y/N almost collapsed against the sink, but Calum was quicker and held his arm around her, pulling her to him. Calum pulled out of Y/N, turning her around to lean against the sink as he took of the condom before wrapping his arms around Y/N again. Calum moved lazily, pulling his own boxers up and then Y/N’s before kissing her nose, and then her lips as she leaned into Calum breathing normally now.

“Are you okay?” Calum asked Y/N.

“Perfect.” She looked up to meet Calum’s eyes. “But I think we should go to bed now.”

“Let’s go then.” Calum smirked before lifting Y/N up bridal style.

“Calum…” She giggled as he started to walk to his room.

“You know I’ve been thinking…” Calum spoke as he sat Y/N on the bed. “I should probably look into getting my own place here.”

“You could do that.” Y/N moved over as Calum kneeled on the bed. “It’s the smart thing to do.”

“It’s also a place I can have you again, and again, and again, and again.” Calum moved over top of Y/N, kissing her lightly. “And you’re looking to get your own place anyway.”

“Calum Hood…” Y/N ran her fingers through Calum’s hair. “Are you asking me to move in with you?”

“After 5 years, why wait? I want to start forever with you now.” Calum smiled.

“I’d love to.” Y/N leaned up and kissed Calum lightly.

“I think it’s time you went back to sleep.” Calum laughed a little as Y/N yawned. “Goodnight.” Calum kiss Y/N as he lay down next to her.

“Goodnight, Cal.” Y/N cuddled into Calum’s warmth.

Calum had woken up about 5 minutes ago, having been to the bathroom and back into bed, not yet wanting to leave their bubble. He knew the exact moment Y/N woke up, her body moving closer to his own, no doubt looking for extra warmth to go back to sleep.

“Good morning.” Calum whispered.

Y/N groaned, saying something unintelligible before rolling over, pulling the blanket over her head as she moved to lie on Calum’s chest. Calum laughed a little, the vibrations moving through a sleepy Y/N.

“Don’t you look beautiful in the morning.” Calum laughed a little.

“Of course.” Y/N moved the blanket to rest under her chin. “Doesn’t every women?”

“Yep, that troll hair and drool are what every man wants to see in the morning.” Calum kissed her forehead.

“Any woman that looks perfect waking up has been up for at least an hour before a man wakes up to make herself look desirable.” Y/N peaked through the lids of her eyes, blinking to let little by little sunlight in.

“Well aren’t I lucky to be waking up with you.” Calum smiled, kissing Y/N’s nose.

“You are really smooth this morning. You know that?” Y/N laughed a little.

“I’m always smooth.” Calum laughed.

“Uh huh.” Y/N laughed, lying on her back. “Cause I believe that.”

“Hey,” Calum rolled to move on top of Y/N. “You’re still here aren’t you?”

“Oh shut up.” Y/N laughed.

“Mmmh.” Calum moved down Y/N’s naked body. “Make me.”

Calum’s lips soft kissed his way down Y/N’s breast, removing the shirt that was covering her body, sucking on her nipples softly before moving down, trailing the boxers she wore down her legs before he ended up between her legs. Y/N moan softly, her hands subconsciously moved to wrap into Calum’s hair, her eyes falling shut once again as Calum kissed his way to her pussy.

Calum slipped a finger into Y/N’s pussy, seeing if she was just as ready for him as he was for her. Feeling she was wet, his moved his mouth down to suck on her clit, drawing another moan from her lips. Calum moved his finger slowly at first, slowly gaining momentum as Y/N’s moans became louder, tongue fucking her now.

It surprised Y/N more than it should have, tightening her thighs around Calum’s head; “Fuck, you’re making me cum.”

Calum latched onto Y/N’s clit, his fingers moving faster inside Y/N as he kept her on her high, before slowing as she started to shake. Giving one last kiss to her clit, Calum made his way back up Y/N’s body, finally looking her in the eyes.

“Good morning.” He said again.

“Good morning.” Y/N breathed out.

Y/N reached her hand up, pulling Calum down to kiss her on the mouth, tasting herself on his tongue.

“I have to admit.” Y/N giggled. “I’ve never been woken up quiet like that before.”

“Well, you better get used to it.” Calum smirked. “That’ll be the best way I wake you up for the rest of our lives.”

Y/N laughed loudly then, Calum joining her as he kissed her again, softly at first, then again and again. Calum couldn’t get enough, and from the sounds Y/N made, he knew she couldn’t either, touching and kissing and caressing. She moved her hips up, pressing her cunt against Calum’s cloth hard cock, almost begging him to get inside of her.

Calum reached over to his bedside table again, ripping the foil off and quickly throwing his own boxers somewhere into his room. Making sure the condom was on, he leaned back over Y/N’s body, ghosting his fingertips up her thighs, over her hips, between her breast to cup her face. Bringing his own lips down to kiss Y/N sweetly before he slid slowly and purposely into the warmth of Y/N’s pussy.

Leaning down to kiss Y/N a little harder, Calum started to lazily move his hips, kissing down to her breast. Y/N moaned, running her hands through Calum’s hair as their hips started to meet each other. Calum sat up onto his knees as he quickened his pace, Y/N moving her hands to grip his headboard above her head.

“Harder. Please.” Y/N groaned desperately moving her hips. “More.”

Calum started to pound into Y/N, one of his hands held a feral grip on her waist, the other moving to rub her clit harshly. They weren’t even trying to be quiet anymore, Calum rocking into Y/N enough to make the headboard hit the wall. Y/N moaned loudly, a deep groan building in Calum’s chest as his skin slapped hers, hitting her sweet spot again and again.

“Oh my god,” Y/N moaned as Calum leaned down, attaching his lips to hers, moving her legs up as he harshly pounded into her. “Harder. Harder.”

Calum moved at a feral pace, his head falling into Y/N’s neck as she bit into his shoulder to keep her from screaming. She could hardly concentrate, only just hearing Calum muttering what sounded like some type of prayer to Y/N as he continued to move inside of her.

“You’re gonna make me cum.” Y/N cried. “Oh my god, I’m cumming.” Y/N cried as her orgasm ripped through her.

“Fuck.” Calum swore, emptying himself into the condom. “Fuck. Shit.” Calum thrusted once, twice before coming to a stop.

Calum fell to lay completely over Y/N, lazily kissing her neck as Y/N moaned lightly. Y/N could feel Calum still inside of her, neither of them in any hurry to move, loving the feel of how close they were.

“I never knew I could be a morning person.” Y/N laughed, causing Calum to laugh with her.

“Well get used to it.” Calum kissed Y/N softly before pulling out of her completely. “Because you are stuck with me from now on.”

“God I hope so.” Y/N leaned up to kiss him before he rolled off of her, standing and stretching before disposing of the used condom.

He turned to look at Y/N, holding a hand out to her.

“Come on. Let’s go have a shower.” Y/N raised an eyebrow. “Just to shower. I want to take you out for breakfast.”

“Okay then.” Y/N let Calum help her up.

An hour later, Y/N and Calum moved quietly down the hall, hoping not to wake his parents so they could go out to eat. They thought they were safe as they reached the living room.

“So… how was your night?” A voice caused Y/N and Calum to jump.

Turning, they saw Michael, Luke and Ashton sitting at the table, eating breakfast with Calum’s father and sister, his mother in the kitchen. Each person had a different expression on their face, from a smirk to a smile and a raised eyebrow in disgust. Y/N wanted to be angry, but one look at Calum’s face of horror as he realised his mother was still in the house and awake, having no doubt heard them, he wanted to die on the stop.

Y/N turned her body into Calum’s and let out a loud laugh, Luke, Michael and Ashton joining her. Calum wrapped an arm around her laughing body, giving a nervous laughed to his father, avoiding his mother’s eye at all cost.

“So, did you two want breakfast?” Joy asked, trying her hardest not to start laughing.

“We’re leaving.” Calum announced, pulling Y/N behind him.

“Okay then. Have a great day.” Joy yelled after them.

“We are never going to live this down.” Calum opened the passenger car door for Y/N.

“Nope, not a chance in hell will we.” She kissed him lightly.

“Do you think mum heard us this morning?” Calum asked Y/N.

“What do you think?” She motioned behind him back to the house.

At the window the boys stood, making provocative assumptions to them both, laughing loudly. Joy could be seen in the kitchen, laughing just as loudly with Calum’s father and sister.

“Oh god.” Calum looked up. “Just kill me now.”

“Hey…” Y/N slapped his chest. “They’re all gonna have to deal with us for the rest of our lives. Now and forever.”

“Now and forever.” Calum kissed Y/N lightly before moving to the driver’s seat.

Y/N had found love years ago, it just took her a few years, 7 to be exact, to keep it. Even through every bump in the road, she would always find her way back to him. This was it, she knew as they drove down the street, as Calum moved his hand to intertwine their finger, bringing it up to plant a kiss on the back of her palm. Y/N was done running, and even if she did run, she knew and could count on Calum chasing after her and bringing her back home. Now and forever.

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hiraeth-doux · 7 years ago

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A Road Paved In Gold (6/?)

Summary: In Steve’s memory, the seconds, and minutes, and hours of that day blurred into one endless moment of aching uncertainty and bone-chilling fear, but if his calculations were correct, his watch stopped ticking at the exact moment when his plane had gone up in flames.

Steve Trevor was never meant to die in the sky above Belgium for the reasons much bigger than he could ever imagine, and when he didn't, it seemed like a miracle.

However, surviving came with a price that changed the course of his life, making him wonder if he deserved it.

A/N: This is my favourite chapter so far, it was so much fun to work on, and I hope you’ll enjoy it as much :) Thank you for the amazing feedback and all the love, I appreciate it beyond words!

AO3 | Fanfiction.net

Themyscira, 1945

There were two drastically different Themysciras that lived in Steve’s mind, the images of them often clashing with one another.

One was of his lungs full of water, burning as he struggled to get free from the death grip of the metal carcass of the plane, his mind on fire with panic and fear; of the hands pulling him out to the surface and the face seared into his memory for a hundred lifetimes; of the sand and blood and trying to hold the rifle in the hands that were slippery with salt and sweat, his heart beating so hard and fast that the sound of it was swallowing the gunshots; of the burning lasso that stripped him of his will and pulled the words he swore to never say aloud out of his mouth; of thinking he was never going to leave the caves with glowing water alive.

This Themyscira left him filled with trepidation and jittery nervousness, the hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach making Steve’s pulse stutter.

But the other one… The other one was bright and colourful and filled with Diana’s stories of happiness and sadness and small mischiefs, often whispered in the dark, under the cover of the night, in response to his, “Tell me…” The place made of dreams that went beyond his imagination. The place of her aspirations and small secrets, and he could almost smell the ocean and feel the breeze on his face when she spoke of it, mesmerized and transfixed by unmasked affection in Diana’s voice, by the mental images of her as a little girl, a stubborn teenager, a young woman, always on the verge of breaking a rule, bending the world to her will.

“I was a handful,” she admitted once with a small laugh.

“Really?” Steve raised a skeptical eyebrow at her, earning a playful bump of her shoulder against his. “I would’ve never guessed.”

And now he was about to see the third version of the island – the combination of the two, he supposed. A whole new experience of his own.

“Your Majesty,” Steve cleared his throat when Diana stepped out of her mother’s embrace and Hippolyta’s gaze moved past her daughter and fixed on him, still lingering on the dock, not quite certain about the protocol.

He was suddenly overcome with the urge to bow, or at the very least curtsy, very aware by the moment of being surrounded by half a dozen Amazon warriors, undoubtedly the best ones here, considering that they were selected to escort the Queen herself. If anything, it was quite a surprise he hadn’t been tired up the second he’d stepped off the boat. A good kind of surprise.

They didn’t look threatening, though. Curious, he figured, but Steve had to admit that he wouldn’t be half as okay with their scrutiny without Diana’s reassuring presence. There was something about knowing that any of these women could behead him without batting an eye that made him more self-conscious than he’d ever been, perhaps. It was one thing, after all, to end up here by accident, and something else entirely to come back by choice.

And then there was the Queen herself whose expression remained unreadable, but there was a twinkle of something in her eyes, something akin recognition, if not appreciation that he couldn’t quite place, and maybe it was just the light, or a great deal of wishful thinking on Steve’s part, but he could have sworn that her lips twitched ever so slightly, forming into a small smile that she didn’t quite manage to hold back.

She glanced at Diana then, for just a flicker of a moment, and nodded with an impassive, “Very well,” which made him realize that he was barely breathing all this time

Diana smiled at him, her hand brushed against Steve’s for a moment as the two of them followed Hippolyta and her guards back to the city.

---

It was bigger than Steve remembered, more populated than the first time he'd traveled the streets toward the castle and the throne room, and more elaborately built than he could recall, and he wondered if it had something to do with the fact that he was slightly less worried about his well-being this time around, his concern lying with something far more terrifying than death.

“You look… rather stunned,” Diana steered her horse closer to his and leaned over to Steve, entertained by his blunt gawking.

He tore his gaze away from a row of houses to the left from him. “I’m starting to understand how you must have felt when you first came to England,” he confessed, feeling the almost palpable curiosity of the women on the streets around them, each and every gaze seemingly glued to him. The attention was making him feel exposed, bare even when he was fully clothed.

“You’ve been here before,” she reminded him, trying and failing to swallow her laughter, clearly pleased with herself.

Steve smirked. He loved the way she looked here – less guarded, more relaxed, and it made him wonder if Diana was even aware of this transformation, which was not surprising, but no less notable nonetheless. In his world, even though she had infinite advantage over anything and everything, she was on alert more often than not. Here, there was no need for that.

The list of the things he couldn’t give her was growing exponentially, but he pushed the thought away.

“As a prisoner, not a—a trophy,” he pointed out.

“Is what you think you are?” She inquired, an eyebrow arched.

Steve flashed a cheeky smile at her. “Am I not?”

The war had ended a few months ago, and even though Steve thought she would insist on coming over straight away, Diana wanted to stay back to see the resolution of it all, help however she could, and to a certain degree, he was relieved by that. The truth was, even though he knew that he’d gladly follow her to the gates of hell and beyond, the idea of getting closer to the answers that he knew would change everything one way or another was equally thrilling and terrifying.

There were times when he wanted to tell her that it didn’t matter, that he didn’t want to know, and part of him didn’t. The part that wanted to keep holding on to what passed for normalcy these days. However, it didn’t seem fair to them both, and whatever it was, whatever they could possibly learn here, he knew that Diana had the right to know it too, if only because it she needed to be aware of what exactly she was signing up for with him.

They were waiting for them on the beach, the Queen and her warriors, when their boat broke through the barrier that surrounded the island, leaving the grey sky of the stormy Atlantic behind, greeted by the bright sun and turquoise waters and the air that smelled of jasmine on the other side of it. Like they knew that he and Diana would come. Like it went beyond any doubt.

Standing on the deck of the boat next to Diana whose gaze was glued to the approaching shore, Steve reached for her hand and weaved his fingers through hers. “You’re nervous,” he said – a statement, not a question.

She shook her head and squeezed his hand. “No, I’m not. Are you?”

“Should I be? Are they going to go for my throat?”

Diana glanced at him, “Not straight away.”

“That’s reassuring,” he snorted. And whispered, “It’s gonna be okay,” into her hair, uncertain if he was saying it for her sake or his own.

And now he was being paraded – there was no word for it – through the city, and he could feel the gazes of everyone on the island on him, a little thrilling, a little unnerving, if Steve was honest with himself. It was still beyond him how they remained hidden for the entirety of their existence, safe and sheltered, and he wondered if maybe the Mayans – and a dozen other civilizations - were also tucked away somewhere, far from the reach of the world that could destroy them in a heartbeat because it seemed to be the one thing that the people knew how to do best.

Diana caught him watching her. “There’s nothing I can promise,” she said once more – an echo of their conversation from a few weeks back, when his broken bones stopped bothering him as much, when the reality clicked back into place, somewhat, and she explained to him that if there was a chance that Ares had anything to do with what had happened to Steve, even though she wasn’t quite sure how, the Amazons would know more about it than anyone else. However, it wasn’t something that she could guarantee.

“I know. You mentioned that,” he nodded, pulling a little on the reins to stay with her. His smile softened. “I never asked you to.”

“It’s just… I wouldn’t want to have dragged you all the way here for nothing.” She shook her head.

Steve scoffed. “I wouldn’t call that dragging. I was the first one to hop on that boat, no? Besides, the weather in London was starting to get dreary.”

She smirked. “Well, it’s good to know that you can be so easily pleased.”

He chose not to respond to that in public.

---

Steve wasn’t quite certain where the rest of the day went, but one moment he was being shown around and introduced to an infinite number of women whose names and faces started to blur before his eyes no matter how hard he tried to keep track of them while also attempting to read their body language and take notice of social clues, endless corridors of the palace that he’d only seen from below before snaking before him like a maze, and then suddenly it was night, and he was alone in ‘his quarters’, as Queen Hippolyta put it when she asked one of her guard ladies to escort him here, and once the door closed behind him – not locked, he made sure - it was suddenly so quiet that it almost hurt.

The room was spacious and if a little impersonal, luxurious in every sense of the word and not a step but a whole staircase above the last lodging he’d had here. A tall window was overlooking the town below that gleamed with thousands of lights, and above it, the sky was jet-black and splattered with myriads of stars, and together, they made him feel like he was floating in space, suspended between constellations.

All those years ago, it was only jokingly that he referred to Themyscira as ‘Paradise Island’, and mostly because his own experience here was far from heavenly, but he could see it now, see how it could suck you right in, the serenity of the place transfixing, addictive in the way that he couldn’t quite put his finger on just yet. It was everything that his world wasn’t. The gentle lapping of the waves against the shore a mile away from the castle and the cries of seagulls somewhat softened by the wind were the only sounds in the stillness of the night. The breeze felt warm and fresh on his face, carrying the smell of the ocean mixed with floral notes and the scent of lamp oils, and for the first time in a very long time, Steve Trevor felt at peace with himself.

Whatever Diana thought they could find here, it was worth the trip; it was worth not feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders for however long it lasted.

She was fading in and out of his line of sight all day before disappearing altogether, and he had no way of finding her now short of asking someone for help. The idea left Steve a little more unsettled than he liked, and in the end, he decided to wait till the morning, not wanting to wander the labyrinth that this place was on his own, and even less thrilled by the thought of running into someone.

However different Diana felt in his version of reality, at least she wasn’t an entirely different species that stood out like a sore thumb.

They’d fed him, too, Steve had to give them that. Not long ago. He distinctly remembered being offered a plate of something that didn’t look familiar in any way; remembered eating without really registering the taste, but the time seemed warped here somehow, which he wrote off to the excitement of the new place. He pulled his watch out of the pocket of his pants. It was a little past midnight now, they’d arrived less than 12 hours ago. And yet, it felt like he managed to live a few months’ worth of life in that time, his mind reeling.

He thought he wouldn’t be able to sleep, too wired for that, but the moment his head touched the pillow that smelled faintly of fresh linen and the sun, his eyes started to droop, his head fuzzy in the comfortable, over-exhausted way that was like a blanket wrapped around his brain.

But it was when Steve started to drift off that the door to the room opened soundlessly, and he’d miss it completely had it not been for a flicker of light from the hallway breaking through the fog in his head, pulling him back to the surface again. For a second, he thought that he’d imagined the dark figure that slipped inside, but then the sheets covering him shifted as someone moved across the bed.

She smelled of the sea and something that lingered in the periphery of his attention during their time on the boat, like flowers and scented oil, and his heartbeat escalated by the moment.

Diana threw her leg over his hip, her hands pressed into the pillow on either side of his head, and he reached for her, his hands siding up her back, along the leather of her armour and toward her shoulders, pulling her closer to him.

“Hey,” he breathed out.

“Hi,” she whispered back, and bumped her nose playfully against his before kissing him properly, her lips soft and warm, and it took Steve a moment to realize that the low groan of appreciation was actually coming from him.

“What are you -- Should you be here?” He breathed out. She was making it very hard for him to think.

“Would you like me to leave?” She asked, her voice barely a whisper against his skin.

Steve swallowed, her fingers flexing on her skin, skimming over her shoulder-blades. “God, don’t even joke about it.”

“It is customary for the guests to have their own chambers,” Diana murmured with a smile, kissing her way along his jaw, “but no one is under the illusion that we’re not together, in that way.”

Steve framed her face with her hands, his eyes fastened on hers and his sleepiness nowhere to be found anymore. “Okay, here’s an idea - we don’t talk about your family for a while, and then you can tell me all about them. How ‘bout that?”

She grinned at him, “Deal.”

And then she kissed him again, slowly and deeply, lips parting against his and luring him into the dark depths of consuming pleasure. Steve pushed his hands into her hair, tugging her closer, allowing her to coax a growl of need out of him, her mouth curved into a victorious smile against his.

He missed her, missed being with her like that, the closeness not obstructed by anything but the need to savour every moment, every electric touch of their hands moving over one another’s bodies. Between his recovery and the war that wore them out and several days on the boat in the middle of the stormy sea, it was starting to feel like he hadn’t touched her in years. The wanting ricocheted through him, from the top of his head to the tips of his toes, settling in his lower belly and making his body hum with pure, unrestrained desire.

“I missed you,” Diana whispered as if reading his mind, her mouth hot on his skin, and he thought he might evaporate in her arms.

Steve’s fingers strummed along her back, skimming over her armour. “This needs to go,” he murmured.

She smiled and pulled away, straddling his thighs as her hand reached for the clasps keeping the snug leather in place. He sat up too, his palm cupped over her face, his mouth fitted to hers, drinking her, his heartbeat a rapid staccato and his desire fully known. Diana’s breath hitched – an intoxicating sound -when his hand slid up her thigh and toward the skirt of her garment, and she caught his wrist, guiding him to the familiar straps, allowing him to peel her armour off, unwrapping her one layer after another.

Hungry as he was, he took his time, kissing every inch of the exposed skin with deliberate precision until there was nothing else untended and Diana’s eyes were black and wild. Her armour fell to the floor without a sound and he lifted his arms to let her pull his undershirt over his head, her fingers smoothing down his rumpled hair.

“Don’t laugh at my bedhead,” Steve muttered hoarsely, his lips latching on her collarbone and moving down toward her breast, palms splayed over her back.

“I love your bedhead,” she promised.

She pulled away, earning a low noise of protest, and then, a hand pressed into his chest, she pushed him back, and Steve complied if a little hesitantly, lying down and looking up at her quizzically, his chest heaving under her palm, under her control and blinded by the exhilaration of that feeling. Diana leaned in, capturing his mouth with hers, her hair a veil of black, tickling his chest.

“Let me…” she whispered so softly he almost missed it, her lips moving down his throat, peppering a path down his chest with small, purposeful kisses.

“Diana,” he started, a plea and a warning.

“I love you,” she murmured, kissing his sternum, her fingers tugging at the belt of his pants – did he not take them off? He couldn’t remember.

His eyes dropped shut and he sucked in a shaky breath, allowing her to do anything, everything, the fire shooting from his core to the tips of his fingers, making his blood feel like molten gold, his mind spiraling into nothingness where there was nothing but him and her, and the bliss the likes of which Steve didn’t know existed.

His awareness tunneled, the desire achingly sweet, the need for more growing exponentially with every moment, each touch of her hands electrifying, and he was uncertain if it’d be worse if she stopped or kept going.

“Stay with me,” Diana whispered, shifting to hover over him, and he looked up slowly to find her watching him, her lips curled into a wicked smile.

Steve’s hands flexed on her hips, desperate and needy, and she leaned in, kissing him again, swallowing a guttural moan that ripped from deep inside him when she took him in on a single slide, his hips snapping up to fill her to the brim, her gasp resonating through him.

For a long moment, neither of them moved, savouring the warm, languid sensation, their breaths ragged and short, and Jesus Chris, he loved her so much.

“You will be the death of me,” Steve muttered, his hand tangled in her hair and his heart fluttering so fast he could barely breathe.

He tried to see her eyes, but it was too dark, and he was too distracted by her body, the feeling of her everywhere around him, and he wanted…

She pulled away, hands flat on his chest, moving slowly above him, half-teasing him, half-adamant to make it last, bringing him close with every rock and then going back to a more measured tempo, her gaze locked on his, and in the silver moonlight she look ethereal, entirely unearthly. Steve’s fingers dug into the flesh of her thighs, holding on to whatever he could reach, following her lead, the familiar dance of their bodies as easy as breathing.

Over the course of his life, Steve wondered more than once what it was that pushed people to fight for peace, for their lives; what was the essence of self-preservation when giving up was so much easier, so much simpler in many ways. He knew it now, saw it in Diana’s face. Belonging. Solace in the arms of the loved one. It was worth everything. Her face streaked with silver light and shadows was blissful, happy, holding all the promises that transcended words.

Close now, so close…

Her breathing grew short, her movements more erratic, and Steve’s grip on her tightened as he sat them up, Diana in his lap, a new angle leaving them both beathless. One hand on the small of her back, he buried his face into her neck as she wound her arms around him, his mouth finding that spot behind her ear that worked like magic. Diana’s hands dug into his shoulders, sliding over his back and gripping the hair at the nape of his neck, the soft whispers peppered with his name and the words in languages he couldn’t understand making him shiver with every inhale.

“It’s okay,” she murmured into his ear, and the sound of her voice pushed Steve over the edge.

His release seared through him and into her, muttered words morphing into a groan when she went limp in his arms, her lips dancing over his skin, a shower of affection.

Arms wrapped tightly around Diana, Steve fell back on the sheets, taking her with him, her hands stroking his face as she was murmuring something that drowned in the deafening blood rush in his ears, his bones liquefied in the best way imaginable, and his mind spiralling into nothingness and bliss.

“I love you,” her voice registered with him, faint but there, her fingers framing his face, her forehead pressed to his.

And he wondered once again if this kind of longing could ever fade, knowing somewhere in the back of his mind with certainty that the answered was no.

---

This would not be the worst way to go, Steve thought, stretched out on his back, the world nothing but a kaleidoscope of light around him. His breath was nowhere to be found still, and he was quite certain that his heartbeat was loud enough to be heard by everyone for miles around them (and he refused to think of any other sounds that might or might not have been audible because at some point he simply stopped caring). Although the fact that no one broke down the damned door and barged in was rather promising.

His eyes drifted shut and he swallowed, trying to find his thoughts, anything that would prove he was still corporeal and not an abstract concept floating through time and space.

From the get go, Steve was hesitant to surrender to Diana’s ministration, his own pleasure in pleasing her, in knowing that she wanted him as much as he wanted her, adamant to prove that he wasn’t ‘unnecessary’, the fear still lingering in the back of his mind no matter how many times she promised him that there was no need for it, not since their first night together.

However, his reservations aside, it was out-of-this-world incredible to give in to her, no price too dear.

“Am I dead?” Steve rasped when his ability to form coherent sentences returned, somewhat surprised to feel the breeze spilling in through the open window cool against his heated skin.

Stretched alongside him, a lazy smile on her face, Diana giggled. She pulled a thin sheet over them and shifted to press closer to him. “Far from it,” she ducked her head to brush a kiss to his shoulder, his collarbone, earning a quiet curse in response. His whole body felt like an exposed nerve, like any touch could cause him to spontaneously combust. Again – not the worst way to go.

“Where on earth did you learn that… that thing that you did?” Steve asked, his lips twitching, finally founding it in him to crank one eye open, and then another.

She propped up on her elbow, her head resting on the heel of her hand, eyeing him with amusement and smug satisfaction. “That would be volume 11,” she informed him nonchalantly.

Steve chocked on his breath and let out a strangled groan that made her laugh.

Right. The treatises on bodily pleasure.

“Jesus…” His arm curled around her waist. “Can I flip through them? At least some of them? Strictly for educational purposes.”

“Educational, huh?” She echoed, grinning. “How about I… ah, provide a demonstration?”

His cheeks grew hot, and even in the dark, Steve knew that it couldn’t have possibly escaped her attention. She was unapologetic about her wants and needs, never hesitating to follow her desires, and he loved her even more for that, even though her ability to make him turn red to the tip of his ears made Steve feel like he was walking on thin ice more often than not, never knowing when he might drown.

“Pease tell me I’m not going to get killed for doing what we just did with the daughter of the Queen.” His voice was small and rather miserable even to his own ears.

“I’m not sure it’s an offence, but let me go find out,” Diana responded with a feigned frown and even started to pull away from him with enough determination to make his heart skip a beat.

Steve caught her by the wrist and tugged her back to him, a flicker of panic flashing across his face. “Don’t…. it’s not funny.”

“Don’t you trust me to keep you safe?” She asked, one eyebrow arched.

“How can I trust someone whom I’ve been begging for mercy not half an hour ago?” Steve countered.

Her smile widened. “Fair point.”

“I don’t… I don’t want you to think that you have to keep me safe,” he added softly, seriously.

“I know.” She kissed him on the chest.

Steve felt the curve of her smile against his skin. “What?” He asked.

Diana looked up, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Someone told me today that you look at me like I’m your sun and stars when I’m not looking,” she responded, struggling to keep her grin at bay, her voice low like she was sharing a secret.

“That is not true,” Steve shook his head, his face solemn.

She tilted her head to her shoulder, “Is it not?”

“No.” He finger slid under her chin, his gaze holding hers. “That’s how I always look at you, whether or not you see it.” He drew her to him, brushing a feather light kiss to her brow.

“Mm-hm,” she hummed.

Steve traced his thumb along her chin. “I love you, princess.”

The corners of her mouth tugged up. “No one here calls me that,” she informed him.

“Huh? What do they call you?”

“Diana. My mother… she made sure that I always understood that being her daughter was a responsibility, not a privilege. That I was not above everyone else simply because of who I was. I’ve always been more on display, my victories as well as my mistakes never going unnoticed.” Her fingers were tracing the line of an old scar on his shoulder as she spoke, her tone a mixture of wistfulness and contemplation. “It was an honour to be brought up the way I was, though.”

Steve ran his hand absently up and down her spine. “So, no special treatment then? There goes my dream of being a royalty.”

Diana draped her arm over his chest and rested her chin on the back of her hand, watching him in the moonlight. “Maybe a little,” she admitted. “But I was raised to be a warrior first and everything else second.”

He studied her for a long moment, his hand playing with a strand of her hair. “You’re staying, right? Here, with me?”

“Mm, would you want me to?” She pulled away from him just far enough to trail her hand along his chest and down his stomach, a feather-light touch that earned her a muttered curse and a sharp inhale.

“Oh god,” Steve breathed out. “I don’t think I can...”

She laughed softly and traced her finger over his cheek. “You’re tired. Sleep.”

He swallowed. “Not exactly what I meant.”

“I know.” She leaned in to kiss him. “We can get back to that later.”

“Stay,” he repeated, just in case, the idea of waking up alone unsettling at best. To this point, all of this felt more like a dream in and of itself. She was his anchor, and Steve liked it that way.

“I will,” she scooted closer to him, resting her head on his chest, one leg draped over one of his - a possessive gesture that he loved to no end – and let out a long breath, melting into the warmth of his body.

“Diana?” He asked quietly, clinging to the thin film of consciousness, already teetering on the brink of wakefulness.

“Mm?”

“Does it bother them that I’m here?”

She stayed quiet for a while, her finger drawing slow patterns on his skin. “Not that you’re here, but your being here is the change that is… strange. Unheard of.” He could hear a small smile in her voice. “They are curious, some of them never saw a person from your world before, especially a man.” A pause. “You have nothing to worry about.”

“Because I’m with you?” He stroked her hair absently.

“Because we’re not the enemy.”

---

It was odd – familiar and new at the same time.

To Diana, Themyscira always was a solid constant, stillness in the ever-changing chaos, and there was comfort in that. The kind of comfort that she couldn’t find anywhere else. This was a place where she could catch her breath if needed be, where she could find herself again.

But with Steve there, she couldn’t help but feel the two of her worlds colliding, much like the way the stars were born when the galaxies rammed into one another, all explosions and light and something new and beautiful at the end of it. Nothing had changed and yet everything was different, and she could feel her universe tilt and shift and spin in the opposite direction, the suddenness of it leaving her with a sense of vertigo.

In her mind, Themyscira belonged only to her, the way the memories of his past were only Steve’s, and then seemingly out of nowhere he was poking his nose into every room of the palace, and having an affinity for her horse because he was the fastest apparently, and getting beetroot red at the attention from her mother’s guards and the villagers that he was not accustomed to, somewhat unsure whether he should be flattered or terrified. The kitchen ladies were in love with him, Diana could see that much, and seemingly on a mission to fatten him up, she suspected. She even caught him more once trying to show them how an omelette was supposed to be made or something of that kind.

Standing in the kitchen door with her arms crossed over her chest and her shoulder propped against the stone wall, Diana watched him explain something to the same women that allowed her as a little girl to have dessert before dinner when her mother wasn’t looking, his voice too soft for her to hear what he was saying. And they were listening with intense curiosity, hanging on to his every word and eyeing him like he was a museum rarity. And already, she could hardly remember this place without him. It made no sense, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about it, but watching him now, engaged in stirring something in a huge pot while making the cooks laugh at his jokes, made her chest tighten with warmth and affection she never knew she was capable of feeling. Never knew they even existed inside her.

Steve looked up then and spotted her, comically puzzled, a spoon in his mouth and a wordless What? spoken only with his raised eyebrows.

Diana laughed, unable to hold it back. It was kind of incredible how only a few moments ago she thought she couldn’t love him more, and yet…

“I’m taking it this is not a social visit,” Hippolyta noted a few days later when they were standing above the training field, Diana’s gaze darting between the vast expanse of the ocean beyond it and a small figure that was trying and epically failing to keep up with the warriors who had thousands of years of training on him.

Steve had asked her earlier if he could have a taste of what the majority of Diana’s life was like before he’d literally fallen from the sky. If nothing else, Diana thought it was highly entertaining to watch him try with enviable determination to do what everyone else was doing.

“I wanted to…” she started, wincing a little when Artemis easily knocked him off the wooden platform like it was nothing, and he landed on the soft grass with a groan and a wince. “That must hurt,” Diana noted, struggling not to smile. She glanced at her mother. “I wanted you to meet. Without the soldiers. Without death. I wanted you to see him for what he really is.”

Hippolyta’s eyes swept over the warriors, still unaccustomed to not seeing her sister among them.

“You don’t need my approval,” she said.

Not an accusation or a reproach. A simple fact.

“He wouldn’t be here if you disapproved,” Diana noted. She was certain that Hippolyta wouldn’t let Steve set his foot on the island if she was against his presence here, not for her daughter, not for anyone else. Her eyes shifted toward Menalippe who was holding to the side of the field, guarded and openly displeased over the man’s presence. Hippolyta’s gaze followed Diana’s. “She will never forgive him. For what happened on the beach, for Antiope.”

“She can forgive anything to anyone for you,” Hippolyta replied without a trace of doubt in her voice. “Give her time. It wasn’t easy on anyone.”

It wasn’t, Diana thought. On her mother more than anyone. To lose a sister and a child in a span of a few days must have taken its toll on her even though there was nothing about her now that betrayed it. Still, Diana had felt a pang of guilt before, when she was leaving that first time, and she was still feeling it now.

“I know.” For a long moment, the silence between them was only interrupted by the clanking of swords and hollers of excitement and protest, softened by the wind. “Something happened to him,” Diana added quietly after a while. “On the night when Ares died. Something that his people don’t have an explanation for. Steve was meant to die then, and once again, not long ago.” She turned to Hippolyta. “When I came back here, after the war, you told me something about him coming back for a reason… I thought you might be able to tell me more.”

Hippolyta flinched a little when Steve failed to deflect another blow, choosing to roll away from an attack, her features softening momentarily.

“You look happy,” she noted without turning to her daughter.

“I am,” Diana admitted.

“I don’t want to take that away from you.” Hippolyta’s voice grew rueful. “That’s the thing about the truth, Diana… once it’s out, you can never take it back.”

“It’s not my life and not my decision to make,” Diana murmured. “And it can’t be worse than not knowing.”

Below them, Steve looked up and saw her, his hand rising to wave at her. She could see his smile even from over a hundred feet away, his eyes squinted against the glare of the sun – a moment before he landed face-first on the ground, that is. He was going to regret this later, she mused, but there was something in seeing him try that was beyond endearing. It occurred to her then that to Steve, this also must have felt like a clash of two realities that were meant to run parallel to one another but never cross paths.

They were together in this.

“He seems like a good man.”

A small smile tugged at the corners of Diana’s mouth. “Might be the best of them all.”

After a few long moments, Hippolyta nodded, and the decision was made.

---

“No, really, what is it?” Steve asked a few hours later when they found their way to the underground pools that gleamed faintly in the dark.

Diana insisted they come here, saying that his bruised and battered body would thank him later, and Steve knew better than to object, finding the idea of healing after being tossed around like a rag doll undeniably appealing. That, and maybe the whole joined bathing thing, but that wasn’t exactly the point, or so he tried to pretend as he followed Diana down the already familiar steps to the caverns underneath the castle, their footsteps echoing under the domed ceiling.

Sitting neck-deep in the water now, his back resting against the rough stone wall of the pool and Diana’s – against his chest as he cradled her close to him, he ran his hand along the surface, his fingers leaving a trail of blue light behind.

She laughed her throaty laugh that made goosebumps rise on Steve’s skin.

“It’s magic,” she responded, and he couldn’t tell if she was being serious or merely teasing him. God knew, both were equally possible.

“No, I mean, there’s got to be—are those some microorganisms that do that?” He pressed, wrapping his arms loosely around her, seeping in her warmth, all velvet and silk against his skin.

Diana turned her head and kissed his bicep. “Does it matter?”

“My inquisitive mind can’t deal with not knowing,” he deadpanned, and she burst out laughing. “What?” Steve demanded, mock-offended.

“You come here and you still don’t believe in magic?” She shook her head, her hair gathered in a messy twist on the top of her head brushing against his cheek.

“I believe in you,” he chuckled. “Close enough.”

She looked up and locked her gaze with his, her lips curved into a small smile. “That’s very generous of you.”

“Isn’t that what you said when…” he trailed off, feeling his face grow hot, and cleared his throat, struggling to keep the self-indulging grin at bay. She shouldn’t have looked as triumphant as she did, but, Jesus, the woman sure knew how to keep him on his toes without even trying, and how eagerly he was swallowing every bait and stepping into every trap. Steve let out a long breath and brushed a kiss to her hair. “You think you want to stay here?”

“In the water? Sure, why not.”

“Not here here.”

“On Themyscira?” Diana asked, running her fingertips along his forearm. She closed her hand over his and laced their fingers together. “No, we can’t. You can’t.”

“I can’t?” Steve frowned, trying to remember if it was mentioned that his visit had an expiration date. Were they going to haul him off and toss him into the ocean?

“Wouldn’t you miss your world?” She leaned back against him.

The tightness in his chest eased instantly. His lips curved humourlessly, and for once, he was glad that Diana couldn’t see it. What was there to miss? Death and destruction and uncertainty, her presence the only light in his life that mattered. He couldn’t lose her, not again.

“You’re my world,” he whispered into her ear, his grip on her tightening like she could slip out of his grasp if he didn’t hold fast.

“I’m serious,” Diana pressed.

“Me, too.” He wasn’t sure that he was until the words came out of his mouth, and then suddenly, it seemed like the most logical, the most natural decision. So long as she wanted him, he didn’t care about the technicalities. If she asked him to move to the moon, he’d simply start packing, no questions asked. “If you want to stay, we’ll stay. It’ll probably be a while before using me as a punching bag will stop being fun for your… are you all related somehow?”

Her thumb was running over his knuckles. Steve felt her amusement. “No.”

“Oh, well, for your friends and family, then.”

“How bad is it?” Diana asked, tilting her head to nuzzle into his jaw.

He grimaced a little. “I might have to skip walking for a while. Or moving in general. And a person doesn’t need both of their kidneys anyway, right?”

“I’ll ask them to go easy on you,” she promised sympathetically.

“Don’t,” he blurted out, horrified. “I’d rather have bruised ribs than a bruised ego. Besides—”

“Diana.”

A woman – Aella, Steve thought, what with the names still blurring a bit in his mind – was standing at the mouth of the cave, and he nearly went underwater in surprise, more self-aware and flustered than he was comfortable with and unable to help it.

Diana straightened up and turned around, not particularly concerned, judging by her body language. If the other woman cared about the intimacy of the situation she’d walked in on, she didn’t show it, either. Unlike the notorious spy who should probably have a better poker face, naked or not, and Steve hated himself for it.

“The Queen wants to see you. Now.”

“What about?” Diana asked.

But to that, Aella only shook her head – either unaware, or choosing to let the Queen deal with it herself.

Nevertheless, Diana nodded and pulled herself up from the water. “I’ll be right over.”

She stepped out of the pool and reached for the sheet that was meant to serve as a towel lying folded near where she’d left her armour earlier to dry herself off. Steve tried not to stare. Their lack of any kind of self-consciousness was still catching him off guard even now, after all these years. Even after being around Diana long enough to stop being surprised by anything, least of all nudity and her ease about it. It still felt uncomfortable somehow to look at her lithe form in the presence of another person despite knowing her body better than her knew his own.

Yeah, okay, maybe that was the problem, he thought.

Aella’s eyes flickered toward him.

“And your… guest,” she added, making Steve wish he’d gone through with the ‘waiting at the bottom of the pool’ plan as he wanted from the start, concerned not so much about his nakedness, per se, as about a rather prominent bite mark on his shoulder, courtesy of Diana after they’d gotten a little carried away the previous night, and this was exactly the kind of information that he didn’t want to share with anyone. Let alone with the people who might or might not be having some sort of family connection to the woman he was sleeping with. It was like walking blindfolded on a minefield, never knowing which step could be his last one. Here – literally so.

“We’ll be there in a minute,” Diana promised nonchalantly, and after that, Aella finally left and Steve exhaled at last. There was simply no way he would have gotten out of the pool otherwise. Still, his eyes remained on the entrance to the cave for another moment. “You need help standing up?” Diana smirked. “Steve?”

He snapped his head around, biting back a question about maybe having some doors installed here and there. “Hm? What? No.”

He scrambled up to his feet with much less grace than Diana a minute ago, and she handed him a spare sheet, already busy putting on her armour. For a long moment, he allowed his gaze to linger on her body, sliding slowly up her calves and along her infinitely long legs, following the movements of her hands, every motion graceful and deliberate, like a well-choreographed dance as she affixed the bodice and the skirt in place, the wisps of hair that escaped her twist coiling at the nape of her neck.

God only knew how he resisted the urge to touch them, trace his fingertips along her skin.

Diana looked up, a silent question in her eyes pulling him out of his thoughts.

“Is everything okay?” Steve asked, gaze darting toward the entrance to the cave.

“Yes.” Her features softened, and she stepped toward him when he still didn’t move. Her palm curled over his jaw as she kissed him, chasing his concerns away. “Yes,” she repeated, stroking his cheek with her thumb. “I would suggest you put something on now,” she added, smiling. “I don’t think my mother wold appreciate this,” her finger trailed down his chest, making Steve suck in his breath and wish that the audience with the Queen wasn’t on the agenda, “as much as I do.”

---

Queen Hippolyta was standing by the fire place when Steve followed Diana into her chambers, looking at the flames, her face a mask of dancing shadows.

“Long ago—long before your time,” she started without turning to Diana who paused behind her mother, “Zeus left us a prophecy about a daughter of god who was destined to change the man’s world. She was meant to be taken away by the sky vessel to save mankind. At the time, it meant nothing to any of us. And then you were born, Diana.”

Steve grew still.

He had never been here before, his eyes darting from Diana to her mother to the lavish furnishings of what looked like a study leading to the bedroom in the back, to Hippolyta again, his mind reeling. it took him a moment too long to notice Menalippe who was standing in the back, pointedly not looking at anyone in particular. She was perhaps the only person apart from Diana and Hippolyta who Steve could single out at a glance, and he figured that the almost palpable hostility radiating off her was the reason for that.

He dragged his gaze away from her, lest she notice him staring. Who know where that might go?

“I didn’t think much about it until…” Hippolyta continued when no on spoke, and then trailed off, her jaw clenched against the words she didn’t want to say. Steve could feel the effort she put into looking straight ahead without turning to her daughter.

“But we didn’t leave by--” Steve spoke and cut himself off.

Semantics.

It was a ‘sky vessel’ that brought him here. He figured that for the gods, the details didn’t matter.

Not that anyone seemed to hear him regardless.

“Captain Trevor was meant to come here; it was his destiny as much as it was yours to leave, Diana.” The Queen looked so stiff it seemed like she could snap in half any second, her voice tight. “He didn’t die on the night you defeated Ares because he was not supposed to. Not yet.”

“I don’t understand…” Diana was staring at her mother who finally turned around slowly, a frown lodged between her eyebrows and her mouth working soundlessly as she tried to put her messy thoughts into words.

“Am I immortal?” Steve asked from behind her, the whole conversation so surreal it sounded half absurd, half insane, the very notion of fate being used in this context entirely ludicrous.

Hippolyta’s gaze shifted to him. “No,” she shook her head. “You will go when your time comes.”

Which would be…? he wanted to prod, the question rolling on his tongue, but the words tasted foul in his mouth somehow, and the answer was something he decidedly didn’t want to hear, even if there was one. And so he clamped his mouth shut and pressed his lips together for good measure, his escalated heartbeat and the heavy smell of incense making him dizzy.

It made sense, he guessed. As much as anything could make sense in the world where the women living on a secluded island referred to gods like it wasn’t a big deal, like one could walk into this room any moment now. Which probably wasn’t that much of a stretch, come to think of it. If nothing else, Diana was the daughter of one after all.

Although it hardly made Hippolyta’s words any less outlandish, impossible.

“So, what does it mean, exactly?” He asked not without caution.

Hippolyta raised her chin, her eyes assessing him. “You’re alive,” was all she said before turning to Diana. She shook her head. “I suppose this answer should suffice.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Diana asked, her face a mask, her voice barely betraying the hurt. One had to know her well to hear it.

Hippolyta’s eyes flickered toward Menalippe who still resembled a statue, her shoulders so tense it must have hurt. “I didn’t make the connection until after it happened. And then you were gone.”

“But I came back, and you still said nothing.”

There was accusation and betrayal to Diana’s tone, and suddenly, Steve felt like an intruder, wishing he could simply sneak out and let them finish the conversation without the prying eyes, or ears, in his case. It wasn’t like anything that were to be said from this moment on could make him unhear what he’d already learned. Whether or not he believed it was another story altogether, but they might need to take one step at a time.

“And you refused to speak of anything that happened to you in man’s world,” her mother added. “At the time… I thought it didn’t matter anymore.” Her features softened, the line of her mouth less sharp, and when she spoke to Diana again, her eyes flickered toward Steve. “You’re happy, you said so yourself. Must you question the will of gods, Diana? Captain Trevor lived because you needed him to.”

“But… why?”

“You tell me.”

Diana glanced at Steve as well, and then nodded, more in acknowledgement than gratitude, he could practically hear the wheels in her mind turn. Her hands balled into fists and then uncurled slowly.

“It’s late,” Hippolyta said after a few moments when the silence hanging between them grew too heavy. “I believe you had an eventful day.” And maybe Steve was only imagining it, but he had a distinct suspicion that she was speaking of his fighting misadventures, and hopefully not whatever happened in the caves.

Come to think, he was in luck that Hippolyta had other people to carry her messages for her.

Diana nodded again and looked away from her mother. “Yes, we should… I will see you in the morning.”

“And, Diana?” Hippolyta’s voice called after them when Steve already pulled the door open, both of them stopping in their tracks. “I arranged for Captain’s belongings to be moved to your chambers. For everyone’s convenience.”

---

“Well, this was… informative,” Steve breathed out when the door to Diana’s room closed behind them and leaned against it, rubbing his forehead as if he could physically rearrange his thoughts, somehow having more questions than before the conversation with the Queen.

Diana walked over to the vanity table and started to unfasten her bracelets, her fingers pulling at the buckles automatically with sure, practiced moves. He watched her in silence, her back rigid and her lips pressed together, the sharp outline of her profile seemingly etched from a piece of granite.

“Do you think it’s real at all?” She asked after a long moment, her voice hollow somehow.

He grimaced a little and ran his hand over his hair, not quite certain that he’d actually heard what he thought he heard, and maybe asking Hippolyta to repeat it all, and slower this time, wasn’t that bad an idea. “Well, from my perspective, the whole notion of fate…”

“No,” she interjected, placing her bracelets down next to her hairbrush, still not looking at him, “I mean us. You and me. Is it real or are we just following that path because it was laid out before us?”

Steve’s pulse stuttered. He swallowed and then pushed off the door, stepping toward her and stopping again, trying to hear how it all sounded to her as he racked his brain for something to say and coming up empty. For the second time in less than an hour, he felt dizzy from the enormity of something that he didn’t know how to process

Of course, it was real. It was the realest thing that ever happened to him.

“I don’t know what brought me here, a coincidence or something that was predestined long before either of us existed,” Steve said at last, “but I never had to fall in love you. Nothing… no gods could make it happen against my will.”

Diana looked up then, her bottom lip caught between her teeth and her face a storm of emotions – doubt, confusion, disbelief, all mixed into one until there was a hurricane raging in her eyes.

“Do you really believe that?”

Cold fear trickled down his spine as he watched her, struggling to ignore the panic churning inside him. “Do you not? You think it’d be different if you knew? You think it’s different now? Now that you know…” he trailed off.

“No, Steve, never,” she responded without hesitation and ran an unsteady hand through her hair, her eyes begging him to understand. “I’m just… I’m tired of those half lies. And…” she offered him a small, sad smile. “It would’ve been nice to have a heads-up before I knew what it’s like to watch you die and think I’d never see you again, however it all works.”

He rubbed his cheek, his skin prickly with stubble. “Yeah, maybe for that.”

If anything, Steve thought, he should be the scared one, considering that ‘his time’ was hardly a definitive measure, and technically, he could probably drop dead any moment if some higher power decided that he’d served his purpose, whatever it was. It was a peculiar feeling though, to know that the overwhelming amount of new information left him numb to the ramifications of… whatever happened to him. He wasn’t sure that he believed Hippolyta, the very idea of destiny sounding utterly ludicrous in his mind, but there was nothing else, no other explanation he could hold on to.

And then he remembered something…

“You told your mother that you were happy,” he noted, hoping he didn’t sound as self-satisfied as he felt, his voice dropping and his smile getting less strained, less uncertain.

Diana allowed her lips to stretch wider, concerned lines on her face smoothing out. She trailed her fingers along the marble surface of her vanity table before turning to him, even the line of her shoulders relaxing before Steve’s eyes.

“It’s never been a secret, has it?” She pointed out.

“Yes, but…” he cleared his throat, certain that saying anything else would be begging for praise. There was nothing in all of creation that could explain this, them, and the fact that he somehow got someone like her to love him. It never ceased to amazing Steve, and he knew that it never would. His eyes skittered around for a second before fastening on hers again. “That story, the prophecy…” it felt odd to say it, and he wondered if she heard it, his skepticism that he simply couldn’t help, at least for now. “It changes nothing, Diana. You’re still everything to me. You’re my whole universe.”

She glanced away and he stepped toward her, hands framing her face, lifting it until their eyes met again. “C’mere,” Steve leaned his forehead to hers for a moment before brushing a kiss to it. “I mean it, every word.” Her fingers closed around fistfuls of his shirt as Steve pulled her to him. He let out a slow breath. “Let’s go to bed, okay? It’s late and I feel like someone beat me with a stick. Which I’m pretty sure is exactly what happened.”

A faint smile touched Diana’s lips. “At least I get to sleep in my own bed for once.”

“I didn’t hear you complain last night, or the five before that,” Steve countered, feeling the mood change, the air around them less charged by the second.

He helped her take her armour off, as familiar with it by now as she was. He slipped the long gown over her head, making her laugh – “I’m not a child, Steve,” - and stripped down to his undershirt and boxers before crawling into bed next to her, bone-tired. Diana rolled over to curl into him, her breathing already deep and relaxed, and Steve felt the tension lift off him. She kissed him before tucking her head under his chin, her body nestled into his.

“Are you okay?” She asked softly. “I know it’s a lot—it’s not what I expected to hear.”

“Yeah.” He wasn’t. He wasn’t sure that he was but okay was not the word for that. However… “Your mother is right. Being alive should be enough, no?”

“I can’t imagine it being otherwise.”

“You really refused to speak of me?” Steve breathed out after a pause, unsure if he actually said it out loud until she responded.

“I missed you. It hurt,” Diana admitted, and then, “A universe, really?” She murmured into his shirt.

He pecked her on the crown of her head, finally allowing his eyes to drop shut. “All the stars and galaxies and everything else,” he agreed, his mind slipping into a deep, dreamless slumber.

---

There had to be a map of this place, Steve decided the following day as he took another turn and instead of seeing a familiar staircase he was actually looking for, he ended up in yet another corridor. How big was this place, exactly? Maybe he could start on something while he was still here, map out the basics to maybe avoid getting lost for a dozen more times, and having to pretend that he was just ‘having a look around’ if someone asked.

This morning, he woke up to Diana already dressed and on the way to the door, her hair pulled into a tight braid, and he had no idea how she managed to look so radiant and awake this early in the morning when the sun barely inched over the horizon, the air still pleasantly cool, hours away from stifling humidity he was surprisingly getting used to. Yet, she was so beautiful it all but took his breath away.

“Stay,” he murmured when she leaned over to kiss him a good morning.

She smiled, brushing her hand through his hair. “Sleep. I will get them to bring you some food.”

“Or… we could eat it together,” he offered, stealing another quick kiss.

“I’ll see you later,” she promised, pulling away from him, and Steve could probably think of a million other ways for them to spend this morning, but instead he rolled onto his stomach and buried his face in her pillow that smelled like sunshine and Diana, and her laugh was the last thing he heard before he fell asleep again, warm in the early-morning sunlight and lulled by the whisper of the sea.

But that was a few hours ago, and the breakfast came and went, and eventually, he figured out that she was most likely taking advantage of being able to train properly while they were here – he proved being an enthusiastic but rather useless sparring partner for someone of her caliber and, well, strength, experience, endurance, and the list could go on for quite a while. His own muscles still ached from yesterday, and even though he was certain that no permanent internal damage was inflicted, Steve decided to steer clear of the training field for the time being.

Hence, trying to find the library that Diana mentioned the other day and that he, after everything she’d told him about this place, couldn’t wait to sneak a peek at. Also, without her, Steve wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself, and after the last night’s conversation, he had too much on his mind and an endless urge to block it out for now.

Diana had explained to him earlier where to find the library and the throne room, which he requested out of sheer curiosity, however, it clearly wasn’t detailed enough.

Steve was starting to think of going back where he came from, and maybe starting again – provided he could do that without getting even more stranded. And it wasn’t like he had much of a choice. Maybe he could swing by the kitchen as well, he mused. They always had some treats for him, and he appreciated the company even if half of the residents of the castle still looked at him like he was some otherworldly creature.

Truth be told, half the time he felt that way.

And then he stopped short, caught off-guard when Hippolyta rounded the corner, followed by two women who walked half a step behind her in a perfect formation.

“Your Highness,” Steve muttered, bowing his head on instinct and lowering his eyes. He took a step aside, moving out of the Queen’s way.

He expected a curt nod and an impassive greeting in response before she was on her way, but instead she paused in her tracks, not quite surprised, but considering something.

“Captain. Is everything alright?” She asked after a moment of hesitation.

Steve glanced up. He wasn’t sure how he felt about her, deep respect for the ruler of these people was mixing with slight irritation over what she’d put Diana through with the secrets that could have been avoided so easily.

For a moment, he thought of lying, telling her that he was heading someplace or other, however the idea of being called out on it – and he had a feeling that she’d know – was unsettling.

“Yes, I was just… I think I took the wrong turn,” he admitted in the end, doing his best to stand taller and look more composed than he felt.

Hippolyta studied him for a second, her calm gaze locked with his, then nodded curtly, and Steve thought that this would be the end of their interaction. In all the time he’d spent here, she showed no hostility or animosity toward him, which was probably more than he could ask for, considering that he inadvertently was the reason of the German attack that led to the death of her sister and her daughter’s departure from the island.

Truth be told, Steve wasn’t sure he’d be this generous if he was in her shoes.

Yet, she expressed little to no interest in him, either, and aside from the previous night, they barely said a few words to one another, aside from an occasional greeting. Quite frankly, after he’d seen her stab and behead the German soldiers on that beach, the memory of which was still painfully fresh in his mind, this particular arrangement was fine with him.

Which only made his surprise so much more profound when Hippolyta asked, “Do you have a moment?”

He doubted it was really a question.

“Of course,” he replied nonetheless and she brushed past him, leading the way.

Steve followed her down the corridor and through the tall set of doors into a cavernous room with high ceiling and a massive balcony overlooking the village below and an endless stretch of the brilliant water. He knew that it was impossible to see beyond the barrier that protected the island from the rest of the world, but had that not been the case, he was certain he’d be able to spot Italy, so clear the sky was.

The guards didn’t follow them inside, and for a long moment, it was just him and the Queen, looking at the island from several hundred feet above everyone else.

“I wanted to thank you. For taking good care of my daughter,” Hippolyta said just as he started to believe that the sole reason for her invitation was to show him the view.

Steve shifted form foot to foot, not knowing how to take it. “I’m not sure I do. Diana doesn’t need anyone to take care of her. She is more than capable of doing it herself.”

“I know. But I appreciate it nonetheless.” He saw a faint smile cross her features, fleeting and gone before he knew it. “You don’t believe me,” Hippolyta added. “I don’t expect you to. There’s a reason why my people and yours don’t coexist. Can’t coexist.”

Steve turned her words in his head, silent for a long second. “No, I do believe you.” He wasn’t sure she believed him when he said that, though. “However, there’s more to the story than you told us, I believe that, too.” Was this kind of honestly going to cost him his life, he wondered. “You’re hard to read, you know. And I spent most of my life doing just that to survive.”

Hippolyta didn’t look at him, her gaze glued to something down below on the beach, and when Steve followed it, he spotted a few figures galloping along the surf, the water spraying from under the hooves of black stallions. Diana among them, unmistakable.

“She was a happy child,” Hippolyta said, and he wasn’t sure for a moment if she was talking to him or to herself. “She had a happy life here. But I have never seen her the way she is when you’re around. It’s like you ignited the light inside her that no one else could.”

I love her, Steve thought, but the words didn’t come out. He swallowed, following the figure below with his eyes, leaned close to the horse’s neck, a tiny spot among half a dozen others, until they disappeared around the outcropping of rocks.

“She told me what happened to you, years ago, and recently, too. Told me that you could have died… should have died, but it didn’t happen. Nothing did, in fact.”

“Luck?” Steve suggested, not sure of there was a question in her words, a foreboding of something terrible settling in his stomach. “I thought you gave us an answer to that mystery already.”

“Luck is for fools,” Hippolyta shook her head. “As for what I said last night… The prophecy is real, and for my people, it’s not an empty sound, regardless of whether it means anything to you or not, but ask yourself this – what was the common denominator in both of the instances when your life was supposed to end?”

She might have as well punched him in the stomach.

Steve’s mouth went dry. “Diana.”

How did he not think of that? Was he that blindsided?

“Only a god can grant life, Captain,” Hippolyta said when Steve didn’t respond. “Diana is the daughter of one.”

She paused, waiting for the information to sink in, and once it did, Steve felt all air whiz out of his body. His fingers dug painfully into the marble railing of the balcony, unsteady all of a sudden on the floor that swayed beneath him.

He turned to Hippolyta slowly, half hoping that she would laugh, tell him she was joking.

She didn’t.

“You mean, she did it?” He asked dumbly. “Diana did it? She… she revived me?” The word tasted odd in his mouth, not quite right, and Steve wished he hadn’t said it.

Hippolyta’s voice softened. “I think Diana wanted you to live so bad that she found the power inside her to make it happen.”

“Is that why I don’t age anymore?”

“You must understand that there had never been anyone like her, maybe never will be again. Her powers, the strength she carried inside her… I don’t think anyone truly know what she is capable of. Not even Diana’ herself.”

Steve’s mouth went dry and his voice was raspy when he spoke. “Does she know? That she… that she’s capable of doing that?”

“I don’t think so. Otherwise she’d try to do more, save the others.”

There was something about her tone, the way she hesitated to choose her words very carefully and an unmistakable concern that made Steve sick to his stomach.

“Did it do anything to her? Helping me?” He asked softly, his whole body humming like he was going to pass out, like someone suddenly sucked all oxygen out of the room.

Hippolyta stayed quiet for a few seconds too long, allowing only the rustling of the trees in the breeze and the gentle whisper of the surf far below the castle to fill the space between them. He knew the answer then, before she gave sound to it.

“You would probably know that better than me,” she responded when Steve was starting to think that the conversation was over, that maybe she’d figured that he’d put two and two together. That maybe she gave him at least some credit, after all, although the realization had a bittersweet tang to it. “Whether or not she’s gotten weaker.”

He swallowed hard, the bile rising up his throat.

How could he be so stupid?

In Paris, she was power incarnate, anything but weak, but that bloody cut she’d gotten on the glass a few months back, the one that he had to tend to in his hole of an apartment in Berlin… it should have been gone in minutes.

When they were in London, after that time when she went to Germany without him while he was still stuck in the damned hospital, it took her longer to heal than usual, the cuts and bruises lingering on her skin for a few days instead of disappearing within hours. At the time, Steve didn’t think much of it. She was still no match to any human, his own healing painfully slow by comparison. He even joked about how her bones probably couldn’t break at all. Hell, any human would get disintegrated if they attempted to do what she’d done between the First World War and now.

But for her, it was not the same. For her, it had to have been different, had to have felt different.

He never forgot about who Diana was – what she was – not for a moment, but she wasn’t made of glass and steel, her strength tamed around him enough to dim the memories of her ripping through armies like they were nothing. In his arms, she was simply a woman, soft and warm, often needing to remind him that he didn’t have to be so delicate with her and treat her like she could break under his touch. Sometimes, he forgot to remember that her strength was inherent and crucial, that she needed that undercurrent of power surging through her to survive the things that she was putting herself through to save mankind when no one else could or would.

Did this mean that saving him broke her?

“What I do know is that those dreams she’s having,” Hippolyta spoke again when Steve didn’t anything, not needing his answer, “they’re not hers.”

He inhaled sharply. “Mine? Are they mine?”

I’m still doing it to her, hurting her.

“Why are you telling me this?” He asked, the words rolling like dry pebbles in his mouth, choking him. “Why now? Why not last night?”

“Because it’s not about Diana, it’s about you, Captain Trevor.” She pressed her lips together, as if debating whether or not to say more. “I’ve paid a very high price for keeping the truth about Diana’s father from her, and I’m not going to do it again, but this is your life and what you do with this information is up to you.” He could barely hear her through the blood pumping in his ears. “The one thing I want you to remember, Captain, is that Diana would do anything to protect you.”

Steve’s hands clenched into fists, his knuckles white and his breathing shallow. He inhaled and then exhaled slowly, trying to get a grip on reality again.

“Would it be better for her if I…” he swallowed, hard, “if I wasn’t around?”

Hippolyta turned to him, her face grief-stricken and her eyes tired – the first real emotions she’d let slip since Steve met her.

“Don’t do it,” she shook her head. “Don’t break my daughter’s heart.”

Steve nodded, more to himself than to her. “I’m taking it as a yes,” he muttered, holding her gaze – a boldness he’d never allowed himself before. Not that he had that much to lose now. Jesus Christ…

“It’s not why I told you this.”

“Then why?”

“Because you deserve to know.”

“At this point, I’m not sure I deserve anything,” he breathed out.

She opened her mouth to say something, but no sound came out, and after a second or two, Steve turned away, his eyes on the brightness of the ocean, and the sun that made it look like someone scattered a handful of diamond along its surface and they were glimmering so blindingly it hurt to look.

He tried to find comfort in the fact that at least Hippolyta didn’t lie to his face, but it felt like a small consolation.

To be continued...

#wondertrev #wonder woman #wondertrevnet #diana prince #steve trevor #it's super long - apologies #this story will be the death of me #wondertrev fic

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silverhands-etcetera · 5 years ago

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The Times They Are A-changin’

Bert says that there are no famous Belgian people. They had that one guy that won all the bicycle races back in the 70’s, but nobody since then. It’s an ambiguous little piece of land in a lot of ways. A bit more restless & threadbare than any part of Germany, like a cousin of the Dutch -the one who gets drunk & takes his pants off in the bar. Good people.

I think I have always enjoyed the time I’ve spent in Belgium. Some of the kindest & welcoming people I have met are from here, also a few of the most complex characters you’ll ever try to get a read on.

We had a little bit of free time in Antwerp, with a little side trip to Brugge to see my old friend Slien, who I met on the Via de le Plata back in 2017. We all had supper at a little restaurant away from the square & talked about how marvelous the world is, and how amazing it always is to find yourself in a place at a table of strangers who are good friends.

In Antwerp we spent a day dodging rain squalls & browsing the secondhand store, looking for a beer & a snack, and eventually deciding on a cafe that specialized in Jenever liqueur -no thanks- but had a tap of chilly pilsner. Outside the front door of the place in the stones of the sidewalk, I saw (and for just a second didn't notice) a gold scallop seashell marker of the Camino de Santiago.

We’ve had talks in the van about certain roads that we find ourselves on and have to fight the urge to just toss out all plans & follow the road to its final destination. We walked for about a block and the camino marker took a left turn. It was very fleeting, but that little bit of time back on the camino put my brain in a different place- especially just a day after seeing Slien again for the first time since we parted ways in Merida 2 years ago. It’s hard to go anywhere and not turn around & find a part of your own self waiting for you.

Just south of Antwerp is a little town called Temse. Above that is Rupelmonde, and even closer still to Antwerp is Kruibeke. They are stacked like the suburbs lined up between Seattle & Tacoma -you can leave one & enter the next and not even know it save for the street signs telling you. I have been to Temse maybe 3 times, Rupelmonde twice, and now the last stop of the Del Vox tour was putting me in Kruibeke.

Bert has been instrumental in keeping us playing in the area, -he’s a musician, promoter, all-around good guy to know. He booked us at de Stoomtram, a little bar on the main drag with a small room & a huge back garden. We’re finishing off this tour with the biggest PA so far, and the drums on a 3 foot high riser. My amp was up there too & I was able to lean back to into the groove all night. The guitar amps were on each side facing in, and I had a perfect perspective on the mix. Bert was telling me to turn the bass up all night. Right around 11, the folks really started dancing -Bert attributed this to the bass being finally loud enough, but I reckoned that this time of night might have also been the hour when the cumulative effect of all the 10% Belgian beers might have kicked in for most of the crowd.

—

As usual, between the guitar amps was the place to be. The contrasts in Sherri & Michael’s playing, and the way they glue a song together is a thing of beauty. Michael is the anchor to many things in the world of Del Vox, all the parts of our day would not move half as smoothly as they do without his steady hand on the wheel. Michael operates on a different plane than I do in all things related to planning and execution. I take care of my shit, but Michael has already considered most shit in advance, as well as developed a plan & a back-up plan. Some of the human characteristics I admire most are the things I know I will never be well-versed in. (Like Springsteen or Haggard making a career writing songs singing praise to the blue collar class, despite living like pop stars for their entire working career.)

I feel like one of my best strengths is my ability to not be surprised or alarmed when things get weird or go south -which is important, because that happens a lot. I admire Michael’s ability to come at it from the other side -if he seems unflappable, it’s because all of the things that are happening are going as planned.

As the Del Vox tour winds down, the ranks of this traveling troupe thins out. Michael is flying back home to Seattle, to see the people & walk with Graycie. As we drop him off at Schipol, the empty space in the van is immediately felt. We love this guy. His impeccable guitar playing is the top layer of everything Del Vox does on stage, and his untiring vigilance and deep awareness is the foundation of all of our logistics & travels. We’ve just done a super fun string of shows, & all we’re talking about is when we’re gonna do it again.

But right now, the rest of us -the leftovers- have some more shows to play. It’s time for me to pick up the guitar, maybe we’ll even rehearse. I think I got a list of songs around here somewhere. Silverhands, tour 2019, let’s see what happens…

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sydneytorome · 8 years ago

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About Time

My dearest friends, family and readers

Yes, I still write blogs - surprise, surprise. And yes, it once again took me forever to update everyone about my first weeks living ‘la dolce vita’ in Rome. But, to make up for it, I’ve came up with one hell of a blog. I’d sincerely advise you to grab something to eat or drink and sit somewhere comfortable while you’re at it, because it’s gonna be a long one!

Major flashback to Sunday the 12th of February. Once again; my closet was as good as empty, my desk perfectly cleaned, my bed made and my curtains rolled up. It looked as if I was preparing to advertise my bedroom in an interior catalogue, yet the only thing that wouldn’t fit the picture where the three suitcases waiting for me in the corner. As I carried them all downstairs – a great work out, by the way – I couldn’t help thinking how weird it would be to see how this room will be completely untouched for the next four and a half months. On my way to the airport, my throat was dry and my head was spinning. I couldn’t help pressing my nails into the palms of my hands, desperately trying to calm myself down. There currently was no single bone in my body looking forward to boarding my plan, to leave everything behind again. I was so incredibly worried about what was to come and I could only think of the worst possible situations as I tried to answer all the questions I had – what will my host family be like, will I make any friends, what about school, how on earth will I have as good of a time as I had in Sydney? After one last hug, kiss and wave goodbye; I was on my own again. I took a deep breath, bought the best bar of chocolate I could find and boarded the plane. No more time for worrying now!

The sun was already setting when I arrived at Rome Fiumicino Airport. It took me some time to find my airport transfer, but eventually I made it safely at my host family. It’s pretty far out of the city center, so arriving there in the dark didn’t really relax me at all. My dreamy, naive little self was expecting a warm, family welcome; but the moment I stepped inside the little messy and dimly-lit apartment, I knew I quickly had to reconsider my expectations. It turned out that no one was going to be home that evening and that I wasn’t going to have any other EF student any time soon. The mother of the house was still in Paris, her youngest son was out with friends and the oldest quickly cooked me some rice and tomatoes – they had sort of forgotten I had a gluten allergy, so that was the only thing they could offer - before he had to go as well. Where did I end up?

After a surprisingly good night of sleep and a lonesome breakfast, I met the other son and his friends, who were going to accompany me to school. It took us a good hour to get there - public transport in Rome is not the best there is and it was rush hour. The school building is absolutely beautiful, and the moment I walked in to meet the staff members, I felt a little bit relieved. They’re seriously so, so friendly! We started of with a small tour of the school, a presentation about life at EF Rome and a placement test before we went on a small city walk wandering around the touristic center. I wish I could describe you all the things we’d seen, but I barely remember. I was so overwhelmed by all the new information and everything was in – duh, Marie – Italian, so at times I seriously felt like I did not go what was going on at all. But hey, I’m in Rome, at last!

In the afternoon, we had our first lesson. Of course, I was starting in A1, the very first language level there is. Everyone in class was really kind, the teacher was really patient and funny, and much to my surprise, I could understand the most of the lesson. By the end of the day, my head felt like exploding. We had seen and learned so much in just one day! Where’s my glass of wine at? In the evening, I didn’t feel like going home straight away, so instead I had dinner with some of the new people that arrived with me. I really liked spending the evening being around people that are sort of in the same boat, it brings a sense of comfort! When I came home, I met my host mother, who had just gotten back from her trip to Paris. She seems really sweet! But I have to admit, I really don’t like the fact that I’m as good as all alone there. I thought I would appreciate the privacy after having spent such a long time in a busy residence in Sydney, yet now I realize I really have become a people’s person. I’ll just give a try and see how it goes, I guess!

On Tuesday, the day went by rather quickly. The lessons are fun and interactive, yet I feel like I learn so much at the same time. It’s still quite hard to follow, so by the end of the morning, all I could think about was my bed and Netflix. After the last lesson, two girls from my class, Jenna and Florence, took me out to a gelateria near the Pantheon. We found a nice place in the sun to enjoy our ice cream and talked about our experiences here. They had both been here for a few weeks now, so I really liked listening to what they had to say. I also shared my worries about my host family with them, and they agreed to what I had been silently thinking all along: even though they may be really nice, if you don’t feel comfortable there it won’t work out! Florence even told me they had a free place at her host family, who apparently are the nicest people ever. Plus, she shares the house with two other Scandinavian EF students who she gets along with perfectly. I might consider moving to the residence, yet the idea of living in an Italian host family speaks to me more. I’ll just talk to the school and I’ll see what my options are!

I somehow have a harder time missing home and my life in Belgium here than I had in Sydney in the beginning. Because there isn’t such a huge time difference, I feel much more involved in my friend’s and family’s life back home. It’s like I don’t miss out, yet I’m not there to live the moments with them!

On Wednesday morning, I joined the EF activity to Quartiere Coppedè, a fairy-like and calm neighborhood filled with art deco and baroque style houses and fountains. Really cool!

I had a hard time socializing with the people who joined the activity, as most of time already have their little group and are only staying for a shorter amount of time, so they didn’t seem really that interested in getting to know other people. It’s totally different than Sydney here, where everyone stayed for at least two to six months. But here, you hear people come and go all the time… On the bus back, we suddenly got controllers checking if everyone had paid for a bus ticket. I hadn’t bought a bus ticket yet, because I firstly didn’t know where I could find one and secondly just thought I could risk it. Well, I got unlucky and got a bus ticket… I’d have to pay 54 euros within three days, or else it’d be double to 108 euros. Oh, well. But, luck was on my side for a little while today, because I’d just gotten the news that I’m able to move to Florence’s host family this weekend. It’s like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders! In the evening, we went out to a club and I had a really, really good time. There are a lot of Latino’s here, and they’re seriously the best people to go out with. Quite the eventful day!

On Thursday morning, I went to the post office to go pay my ticket straight away, but I somehow manage to have lost it. I couldn’t find it anywhere! I had no clue where to go to get help, nor how to explain all of this in Italian. At school, the only thing they could advise me was to e-mail the bus company Roma Atac, so let’s give that a shot…

On Friday morning, everything seemed to be going wrong – I had a terrible night of sleep, I couldn’t find my GoPro anywhere, my contact lenses were still stuck in my eyes, I could not get them out and I spent the morning travelling all over the city to get in touch with a help service from Roma Atac just to have them tell me it’d be best to just call them personally. Above all, when I got to class almost an hour and a half too late, I noticed the little pot of yoghurt I had brought along had exploded in my bag. Happy end of the week to you too, I guess. Although that I have to admit that hearing my teacher ask for a ‘super selfie’ after class really helps to cheer someone up!

By the end of the day, I had managed to slightly calm down. I had popped by an optician to get my lenses out, I had found my GoPro and the sun was shining. After school, I decided to go have a drink near Piazza di Spagna with Reina and Clara, two girls that arrived here on the same day as I did and with who I get along great. Unfortunately, Clara is already leaving this upcoming weekend, but luckily Reina is here until June!

On Saturday morning, I slept in before starting to pack the few things I had already unpacked back in my suitcases. I was so excited to be moving, yet I couldn’t help feeling bad for my host family right now. Oh well, at least I know I’m doing the right thing! By 2pm, I arrived in my new “home”. The minute I met my host parents and saw their small, yet incredibly cozy apartment, I knew everything was finally going to be alright. Afterwards, my two other housemates Andrea and Jasmin took me out on a walk around the neighborhood and helped me unpack before dinner. As my host dad is a chef, I can assure you the food he prepares is divine. The atmosphere during dinner is really lovely: we joke, laugh and talk about a lot of interesting topics. So happy I finally feel like I have my own little ‘place’ now!

On Sunday afternoon, I went to Villa Borghese to have a picnic with some of my classmates. It was rather chilly outside, but we still had a really nice afternoon enjoying the sun. We also all had the feeling we could talk about literally anything to each other! Even though the trees hadn’t blossomed yet, the park was already very beautiful to walk around. Plus, everyone seemed to be busy doing something: jazz artists were jamming on their saxophones, boy’s scouts were running around in the grass, kids were roller-skating and hull-a-hooping…

Before going back home, we strolled around Via Del Corso, Rome’s biggest shopping street. Let’s say it didn’t take me a long time to embark on some retail therapy! Around the late evening, I managed to find some time to call my parents and sister. I sounded excited, as I felt really content with the family I was living in and believed my adventure could really begin now! Unfortunately, they had some bad news to share… My grandfather had passed away this weekend. For the first time in a long time, I could hear a pin drop in my mind. There were so much thoughts going through my head, it felt as if I was thinking about absolutely nothing at all. All I knew for sure is that I wished I was just home right now, supporting my family. But most of all, I wish I could just magically bring ‘opa’ back…

The next week, nothing really out of the ordinary happened. To be honest, I wasn’t really in the mood to do a lot of stuff or to go out. For me, at that time at least, it just didn’t feel right. I just focused on my classes and on my Italian, which was suddenly going surprisingly well. As if something clicked after this weekend! On the bright side, I found out there is a 100% gluten free bakery right next to my school. This place is seriously heaven on earth. I’ve finally found a way to cope with carb-loving Italy! I have to admit, I had a hard time dealing with the thought of losing my grandfather. Of course, I found some support and people were willing to listen, yet everyone just quite understandably goes on with their own lives. Besides, everyone is always busy and always ready to do a lot of fun stuff, but at the moment I felt like time was passing me by and I couldn’t keep up anymore. That fear of missing out is a nasty little thing, if you ask me. But I know that right now, the most important thing for me to do is to listen to myself and only do what I feel is right. And like a good friend told me: look for a sense of comfort in the beautiful city of Rome!

During the weekend, I flew back to Belgium for the funeral. In a sense, I felt really relieved I at least got the ‘chance’ to choice whether or not I’d like to go home for the funeral. If it would have happened while I was still in Sydney, it wasn’t even an option. I’m not gonna go into too much detail, but I just want to share that it was a beautiful mass. We couldn’t have said goodbye to opa in a better way.

It sounds weird to say, but I was happy and excited to go back to Rome. Now, I knew what was waiting for me and I wasn’t dealing with those endless “what ifs”. I was happy I was going to see my friends again, explore this beautiful city and continue learning such an incredible language. The latter was going insanely well, because I had just gotten the news that I was allowed to take the A1 to A2 level test already by the end of this week. Normally, you spent around 6 weeks in one level before you move up to the next one, yet they told me I was already good enough to go to A2 after only 3 weeks of following the A1 classes. Not gonna lie, I’m very proud of myself!

On Thursday evening, I joined a real Italian cooking class where we learned to make a few typical Roman dishes. My little perfectionist self had a blast rolling the homemade pasta into its desired shape, which was oddly satisfying to do. However, I realized that cleaning artichokes is definitely not my strongest suit. Oh, and having a gluten allergy when eating tiramisù is not that bad, because now at least I have a valid excuse to eat all the mascarpone.

On Friday morning, I visited the Vatican to conquer the 551 steps up to the top of the St Peter’s Basilica’s dome. The weather was amazing – clear blue sky with a crisp breeze in the air. And boy, that butt work out was more than worth it once we had made it to the very top. The view is absolutely breathtaking. It was like a sense of calm had washed over me; I could have stayed there for hours!

In the evening, we had a long apéritivo which ended up turning into a dinner with the people from our class at one of my classmate’s own apartment. I’m truly grateful to have met such a diverse group of people who I feel so comfortable around!

On Saturday, I woke up feeling a little bit nostalgic for no particular reason. I felt a little bit sick and had to take care of some application letters for university, so I decided to just spent the rather rainy day in bed. It was the first time I had spent the entire day at “home”, so I kind of felt a little bit overwhelmed somehow. Of course I like the place I live in and my host family now, but I guess there just really is no place like home.

On Sunday, I had the best brunch/lunch ever at Il Margutta RistorArte, the oldest vegetarian restaurant of Rome. It’s a really trendy place, with a piano artist playing in the background as you fill your plate with the yummiest and most creative dishes from the buffet. I think we’ve stayed there for at least three hours!

Afterwards, we walked around the city a bit before visiting Castel Sant’Angelo, the old mausoleum of emperor Hadrian. It used to be the hiding place for the pope before turning into a museum. The rooftop grants a really lovely view over the city and the Ponte Sant’Angelo, a beautiful bridge decorated with 10 angel statues made by Bernini. Quite the view!

The next week went on quite calmly. The weather wasn’t all too great, so none of us really had the mindset to go do a lot of visits or anything. On Monday, we had our usual after school welcome drink at our go-to place right next to our school, The Perfect Bun. It’s a really nice way to just talk with everyone outside of school! On Tuesday, Reina and I went to get a piercing together. Can we talk about friendship goals already? On Wednesday, I was feeling a little blue for no reason, but luckily the too die for gelato at Gelateria San Crispino did wonders. On Thursday, we had our weekly class dinner at Mamma Eat in Trastevere, a restaurant which offers a gluten free alternative to all of its dishes! After all this time, I was finally able to eat my first pizza here in Rome. And of course we couldn’t say no to the Nutella pizza and limoncello for dessert. The infamous Italian food baby is very much a fact! But hey, I needed the energy to go out that evening, so I’m pretty sure I danced the calories away anyway ;)

On Saturday, EF had organized a day trip to Orvieto, a sleepy and idyllic village in Umbria. Everyone was in the best mood. We were all carelessly and rather aimlessly strolling around the narrow and steep pebble stone streets, enjoying the sun and the ‘real’ Italian atmosphere. In the morning, we visited an old Etruscan garden and climbed up the Torre Del Mondo where we enjoyed the views over Orvieto. The sky was so bright, yet crisp, so it kind of looked like the whole village was covered in a silvery kind of light. Everyone was talking, laughing, having fun. That’s what I love so much about these kind of trips - you get to know the people you go to school with in such a different and eye-opening way. I was filled with a kind of happy feeling I’m not even able to describe, but I can honestly say it was one of my most treasurable moments here in Italy so far. It wasn’t only the cold breeze that gave me chills.

After enjoying a traditional Umbrian lunch, we visited the Cathedral and Orvieto Sotterranea, a historic site of 440 caves that has been used for millennia by locals for various purposes. Really impressive!

By the end of the day, when the sun was already playing hide and seek, we sat outside a little artisanal produce store where we drank local beer or prosecco out of plastic cups, ignoring the frozen feeling that started creeping onto the tips of our fingers and our noses. Cheers!

On Sunday, we took the train to Ostia to enjoy a beach picnic. It wasn’t warm enough to conquer the cold sea, so we basically chilled there the whole afternoon while we snacked on a huge amount of food. We stayed there until we watched the sun dive into the sea, when all of us became quiet for a few beautiful moments. What a way to end the weekend!

The next Monday morning, I woke up feeling as excited as a kid on her birthday, Christmas and Easter all together. Today; my friends and cousin Yannick, Jef, Emiel, Eefje and Ella were arriving! Safe to say I was giggling, jumping up and down, and definitely not concentrating during class the entire day. After school, I headed straight to the Airbnb they had booked near the Colosseum. I was over the moon that I could hug and see them again! In the evening, we went out for dinner before going for some drinks at Campo Dei Fiori, which still was surprisingly busy for a Monday evening. A few of my friends from here even came by for a little while to meet my infamous Belgian friends. It made me strangely happy to see how my two ‘worlds’ kind of started intertwining! On Tuesday, we visited all the notable touristic highlights together. We started with Circo Massimo, Colosseo, Bocca della Verità and Giardino degli Aranci. Although the oranges smell divine, their taste was highly disappointing. So sour! Afterwards, we walked through the historic center. From drinking coffee at Tazza D’Oro near the Pantheon and throwing a coin in the Fontana di Trevi to eating Pompi’s tiramisu at Piazza di Spagna and rowing in Villa Borghese, we’ve seen it all! By the end of the day, we had walked more than half a marathon. Time to treat ourselves to pasta and wine before dancing the night away!

On Wednesday, we walked around the Vatican. None of us had the patience to stand in line to get into the San Pietro, so we spent the day strolling around the busy streets until it was time to sit down and enjoy a well-deserved lunch. Afterwards, we walked back towards Castel Sant’Angelo, where we wanted to enjoy the last moments together and get some gelato. I wanted to look up at what time they had to go to the metro, when I realized my phone was nowhere to be found. I had forgotten it at the restaurant, fuck! Without thinking, Yannick and I started sprinting back to the restaurant. Completely out of breath and panicky, I barely found the words to ask for my phone. Luckily, the owner recognized me and was already waving my phone in his hand. Will I ever run out of luck?

Around the late afternoon, they unfortunately already had to go back to the airport after a short, but more than lovely few days together. Tired but satisfied, I went back to my host family to unpack and already start packing for the next few days - some of the girls (Ellen, Anna, Jasmijn and Margaux) I’ve spent 6 years of high school with were arriving on Thursday evening. Keep ‘em coming!

On Thursday, I once again walked to school with my school bag around one shoulder and dragging my trolley around the city with my other arm. Pretty crazy that I was going to be at school for a few hours, yet see my high school friends again the same day. The moment I saw them; I knew nothing had changed. It felt as if it were yesterday! As they were here for more days, we had more time to do everything at ease. On Friday, we walked around the city center for a bit before I had to go to school, where people repeatedly asked me how come I was looking so tired. This busy week was starting to get to me!

After school, I met up with my friends again to do some groceries and prepare our own pasta al pomodoro in our apartment before getting ready for Jasmijn’s upcoming 19th birthday. Without getting into too much detail about the night, I’ll just say there was something with tequila, roses and reggaeton.

On Saturday, we slept in a little before walking from Piazza Venezia to Piazza di Spagna. We did some shopping in Via Del Corso and had a yummy lunch at Ginger on the way. Taking everything nice and easy! In the evening, we went out to Freni e Frizioni for Jasmijn’s birthday dinner. It’s a really cool bar in Trastevere, where you order a drink and are allowed to eat from their gigantic apéritivo buffet. The food and cocktails are to die for! Afterwards, we walked around for a bit and enjoyed a few drinks and dessert at another cozy-looking bar. My heart is seriously overjoyed that I’m able to share such lovely nights with the best of friends here in Rome, out of all places!

On Sunday, we compensated for our lazy Saturday by visiting the Colosseo, the Foro Romano and even the Vaticano. And of course, the quirky set of photos couldn’t be missed!

On Monday, Margaux had an early flight, so she had to leave earlier. Fortunately, I still had a long day with Ellen, Jasmijn and Anna! We walked around the beautiful Villa Doria Pamphilj, where we sat in the grass for a while and starting making daisy flower crowns. Nostalgia!

In the afternoon, we strolled around Villa Borghese and enjoyed the view before it was time for them to fly back to Belgium as well. Sadly, all good things come to an end. But I’m more than grateful I was at least able to share these moments with them!

It was weird to fall back into the normal school routine again, but I was really happy to see all of my friends again and actually pretty excited to get back on track with the Italian classes. On Tuesday evening, we went to see a film somewhere in a more alternative part of Rome called San Lorenzo. I had it expected it to be a really small, old-fashioned cinema, but it turned out to be in the basement of a book and records store. Just a few rows of uncomfortable wooden chairs, a beamer and a white screen – nothing more! I ended up really enjoying the whole experience, as it all in all had a special charm. Besides, the movie ‘Mommy’ was in Italian (although it originally is a French-Canadian movie) and I understood pretty much everything. Maybe that’s what made me feel a little emotional, or maybe I was just genuinely impressed by the movie, because I would highly recommend you guys to see it!

On Thursday, EF had organized an ‘apéritivo linguistico’, where we had to chat about random questions with Roman locals in Italian for 40 minutes; before doing the same in either French, German, Spanish or English for the next 40 minutes. A little bit awkward at times, but in general it was kind of a fun way to practice! Afterwards, we went out for dinner for one of our friends’ birthday before making it to the nightly-lit and almost empty Fontana di Trevi before midnight to wish her a wonderful birthday. Such a lovely evening!

On Friday, our classes are always a little bit more laidback. During our SPIN class, we walked around the Jewish Ghetto and had to guide our fellow classmates. As the weather was as good as perfect and everyone was looking forward to the weekend, we all were in the best and calmest mood. After school, we hang around for a little while before I visited the MAXXI Museo Nazionale delle Arti del XXI Secolo with one of my closest friends here. The building, designed by the Zaha Hadid, is absolutely amazing and the art collection is pretty impressive too. I mean, we’ve stayed there for a good three hours, so that pretty much speaks for itself!

On Saturday, I went on a day trip to Tivoli. Only now, I agreed it wasn’t my smartest move to go out the night before – two hours of sleep and a whole day of walking around isn’t really the most comfortable combination. Luckily, the day was rather calm as there is not much to see in Tivoli besides the beautiful Villa D’Este, a Great Gatsby style type of mansion and garden. Absolutely stunning!

On Sunday, I joined my friends Reina and Thomas to just enjoy the sun and the cool spring breeze at Villa Borghese. Time to get some much needed energy back!

I’ve been feeling a little off the past week, as I came to a point where from now on someone who means a lot to me is going to leave almost every upcoming week. And even though you’re not the best or closest of friends, you grow so attached to their presence that you can help but feel a sort of emptiness knowing you won’t be bumping into them into the hallways anymore. It kind of shakes up this whole perfect little EF bubble, where we all carelessly live in our own small reality. Because we’re all living these incredible moments together, but afterwards all of us go our own separate ways. And even though you can try to stay in touch, nothing will ever be the same again. You’ll never be in Rome again, at the same place, on the same time and with the exact same combination of equally unique people. I really regret not making more pictures with them, but you just always hang on to the absurd idea that you have so much more time with them until all of the sudden, it slips away! Oh, how I wish I could capture and stop time for a little while.

Andrea, Florence and I had a hard time waking up on Saturday, knowing our housemate Jasmin was leaving to Nice in the morning. It had always been the four of us at home since I arrived, so it felt strange to stand in Andrea’s room and seeing only one side of the room being ‘lived’ in now. Above all, Andrea and I did not want to think about next week at all, when Florence was leaving as well. To clear our minds, we decided to visit the Basilica di Santa Cecilia in Trastevere, enjoy a yummy lunch and visit the impressive Basilica di San Paolo fuori le Mura. A Saturday done right!

On Sunday, we tried to conquer the stormy rain by going out for lunch in a biological and organic restaurant near Piazza di Spagna. It was kind of a mess to get into the city center, as there was a marathon going on. If I would have known, I’d have considered training for it and participating. But it wouldn’t have been the same without my running partner, so no worries Dad! I had a really overpriced tomato mozzarella salad and they couldn’t even offer gluten free bread, even if they had it in their adjoining produce store. At times like these, I really miss Sydney and all its way too trendy restaurants and bars, where it was a piece of (gluten free) cake to go out for lunch or dinner. But hey, who needs avocado toast and kombucha tea when you have gelato and cheese? And so, today, I finally found the time to sit down and write, write, write the day away to summarize the past 6 weeks in one blog. It’s actually the perfect way to spend an insanely rainy Sunday, so I’m not complaining. In the evening; we finished our weekend by watching a movie together, eating oranges and chocolate. Here’s to a brand new week!

I’ll try not to go M.I.A for the next six weeks this time, let’s see if I can keep my promise this time. Until then, arrivederci!

With love,

Marie

#rome

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