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inthepassengerside · 6 months ago

Note

cockwarming with luke. he’s been wanting to try it and one day he gets the courage to ask you and you guys enjoy it for a little while before he whimpers and starts fucking into you and you enjoy that even more <3

can’t take it

warnings: cockwarming turning into eventual sex, dirty talk, mentions of overstimulation

a/n: this request had me shaking. it’s also veeeerrrryyy old so i’m sorry to the anon who requested this since it’s so late! the ending was hard for me to finish and it still sucks. hope you enjoy though! it’s not proofread

masterlist

It was a lazy Sunday for both you and your boyfriend Luke. You sat in the morning, enjoying your cups of coffee, watching the view from your shared apartment, and listening to a soft record spinning from the living room. It was ideal for the two of you, just being and taking in each other’s presence. You couldn’t ask for anything more.

Your day continued to look like this until the evening. Sitting, watching shows, snacking, some house work. All things that didn’t require much energy, just the driven energy from each other.

The only thing was, you could tell Luke was a little on edge. It made your weekly routine feel different than usual. You were unable to pin what exactly was going on, so you let it go.

Currently, the two of you sat upstairs in your shared bedroom. You were putting away laundry and Luke was fixing up the clutter around your bed. “Gonna go shower baby,” you said to Luke, making your way over to the connected bathroom. He walked over to kiss your cheek, “Okay love.”

As you undressed and got under the warm water, you couldn’t help but try and puzzle some of the reasons why Luke was acting the way he was today. Not that he wasn’t normally affectionate, but he was kissing and hugging you more than usual throughout the day.

You just wondered if something was up emotionally. But either way, Luke had come to you about those things before, so what was holding him back now?

You stayed in the shower for about 10 minutes, washing your body and doing a quick shave before shutting off the water. You stepped out and wrapped a towel around yourself before leaving the bathroom.

Luke was sat on the bed, in sweats and a tee, watching some reruns of How I Met Your Mother. Nothing irregular for the night time. You walked over and laid next to him starting to scroll on your phone.

About 5 minutes had passed before you got up and started changing, shrugging on some of Luke’s boxers and a tank top.

You had barely gotten the top over your head before you felt Luke’s arms wrap around you, burying his head into your neck. You didn’t even notice him get off the bed, but you melted into his touch anyway, “Hi baby.”

“Hi beautiful,” he whispered, pressing tiny kisses along the side of your neck and across your collarbone. You shuddered beneath him, throwing your head back, letting out a gasp.

Was this it? Was he just so needy?

You let him pull you back before your back hit the mattress and he fell over you. His eyes burning into yours and his chain dangling so close to your mouth. He moved down, kissing a trail down your stomach before shrugging off your bottoms. “Y’ love stealing my clothes, yeah?” You giggle, “of course.”

You pull him up by his chain, and his eyebrow raises tauntingly. You grab his neck and pull his head down to kiss him. The kiss is passionate, hot, and sensual. He pulls away to shrug off his shirt, throwing it somewhere along with the boxers to make a new pile of clutter he’ll have to clean up later.

Luke rolls you both over so you’re sat on his lap and you work on shrugging off his sweats. Once you do so, you press your palm against the obvious bulge in his black boxers. He lets out a whimper, “Oh fuck.”

You start to peel off your tank top, stripping until you’re bare and your boy lets out a groan. He brings up his hands to both of your tits, fondling them and pinching your nipples. You let out a squeak from the sensitivity.

He brings his mouth into the mix, running his tongue over your nipple, looking up at you. You push your fingers in his curls, “Fuuuuck Lu,” you cry.

He continues his actions, making you cry, the slurping noises that are coming from him feed into the heat of the moment. He repeats his actions on your other breast, taking his time.

When he’s done and your tits look more swollen and red than usual, he backs away and peers up at you.

Before both of you are aware, you start grinding into him. Luke lets out a groan, “Jesus christ.” You move your hips forward and backward, your clit nudging his covered length in such an intense way where you’re moaning too. You’re both starting to lose your breath.

You feel your cunt dripping. It’s soaking through his boxers, even the thick material, and you know he can feel it too.

You continue your movements, not slowing down, and it isn’t until you hear Luke gasp, “Slow down, baby, shit,” that you halt your hips. You pant too, looking down at Luke.

“Sorry, you’re just so fuckin’ hot sometimes. Can’t help myself,” you giggle, pressing a kiss to his lips. “I’m hot? I was about to come already from your soaked pussy.” His voice is deep and it makes your cheeks go red. You feel a faint smile creep onto your lips, in which he mirrors.

You rest your forehead against his for a little, silently agreeing to take things slow for the rest of the night.

Luke’s hands find your ass and palm your cheeks while you sit up again. “Can we try something tonight? I- I saw something online so I looked into it. It made me curious,” he spoke. Your eyes widened a bit. “Yeah, what is it?”

“I read about this thing… called cockwarming,” you let out a small noise at the name, “It’s just like, me inside of you..? I don’t move when I’m in,” he finishes. You notice his neck is pink and it’s creeping up to his ears. You don’t really say anything mostly because you were still thinking. Wasn’t the point of sex to release?

Luke takes your silence as a no, “Sorry, we don’t have to. I was just interested, I understand.”

“No, love, I want to try. Sorry, I was just thinking about it.” You speak quickly, hoping to calm Luke down. You could see his nerves become more visible, embarrassed. His eyes widen again, “Really? You sure?” He questions. You nod, “Yeah. It’s hot.”

You ask him about his off behavior today, “Is this why you were a little weird today?” Luke nods. You say nothing else, dragging your body down towards the band of Luke’s boxers.

You snap the elastic against him, eliciting a gasp. You tug his boxers off him, and immediately his cock springs free. Your eyes are filled with hunger as you make your way back up to stroke him. “Oh my fuck,” Luke whimpers. You smirk, unable to not notice the red tip leaking with pearly white liquid.

You drag your hand off of him and push it inside of yourself, letting out a pornographic moan. “Oh,” Luke breathes. You take your fingers out of your cunt and wrap your hand around Luke’s length again, your wetness serving as a lubricant. “Holy fucking shit, you’re so hot.”

You work him slowly, not wanting to get him so riled up before he gets inside you. You know you’ve already failed though. “Need you to sit on my cock now, love. Please,” he cries. You let out a breath and remove your hand from him.

You make your way back up his body and Luke’s hands find your ass again, caressing you and nudging you up slowly to sit on him. “Honey, you’ve gotta put me in. Can’t take it,” He cries. You reach down and grab is hard cock before pushing it inside of you as you sit.

There’s always going to be a stretch that you’ll never get used to. The burn of his long, thick member pushing inside of you. You slide down very slowly and peer up to see Luke trying his best to hold in his noises. Once your sat, Luke’s jaw is clenched as he tries to relax around you.

“Feel so good around me, honey,” Your boyfriend whispers as he grabs your waist with his hands. You clench involuntarily at his words, letting out a whimper, and he groans deeply. “F-fuck baby! Don’t clench like that, can’t take it.”

You mumble an apology, although it comes out as a moan. You try your hardest for your walls not to grip around him, but you’re like a vice. You can’t help it. His whimpers are becoming louder and louder, and you realize your ability to take the reigns.

“Bein’ such a good boy for me Lu,” your voice is shaky, trying to pretend that his cock inside of you, so deep, isn’t affecting you. But it is. His dick twitches at your words, “Mmmph,” he breathes.

Luke loved to be in charge. You both knew that. But when you were experimenting, he would always switch between between the two roles. Today, with the way he was behaving, you knew he wanted you to take power.

“Yes, yes baby. B-bein’ the best for you, yeah.”

You dig your knees further into each side of the bed, getting him to go impossibly deeper inside of you. Every movement made he swears it gets tighter. “O-oh,” he lets out in a small moan. You kiss his neck, trying to distract him from the pain that he’s unable to do anything—to use you to work himself to release.

Finally, you both are settled, truly feeling one another.

His breath is heavy. You’re able to contain yourself and stabilize your body, but Luke is the opposite. He really thought this would be easier. More enjoyable. Not that he didn’t enjoy being inside of you, but when he was so pent up, all he wanted to do was move.

Nonetheless you two sit like that for a while, kissing on each other, sucking marks into skin, and relishing in the other’s dirty words.

“Such a dirty boy for me, Lu,” you pant, your resolve slowly slipping. “So dirty for me. Your cock in my pussy, not movin’, mhmm feels so good,” you gasp, and he lets out a wail before letting his head fall atop your breasts.

He lays it there for a little longer, relishing in the feeling of you soaked and clamped around him. He focuses on trying to hold back, not to lose all his control and take you right here. But he realizes, he’s only be disobeying his own request, and while he wants to try that sometime, he needs to have you. Now.

Before you know it, Luke fucks his hips impossibly closer to yours, and you gasp. “S-sorry baby… feels too good.” He retracts his hips, pulling you up a bit, before easing himself back in.

Your breaths come out quick, certainly not expecting this, but thanking whatever compelled him to do it. Little did you know that it was you. Your little moans, your dirty whispers, and your soaked pussy. God, it had him in a spiral. If Luke could go now, he would.

His noises though, are what’s getting to you the most. Because even though he’s been bold enough to make his own decisions, he can’t suppress his little whimpers.

Luke’s eyes glass over, “Fuck, you’re so beautiful, could sit here for hours.” You cry, “Y-yeah? Would you like that, love? How about I sit here… and I take what I want. Cream all over your cock over and over again and let you sit here and cry, begging for a little taste.” It’s like your cunt soaks him even more and your own words. And he feels it. “And then you’ll be so sensitive when you finally do get to cum, because i’ll just keep going baby. G’nna end up milking you dry.” You meet your hips with his, beginning to work against his thrusts.

But, your erotic words only make him fuck up into you harder, losing your rhythm you were attempting to set. His cries become louder, and all you’re hearing are his gasps and some slurred “Mmmphs.” You love him like this. Completely at your mercy.

You both get close pretty fast. Due to all the teasing, wordplay, and attempt to cockwarm, all of your feelings are heightened. Everything feels so much better than it usually does.

Luke grips your ass roughly, pushing you further into his grasp. His lips find yours, and it’s messy, yet passionate. His lips trail down from your lips to your jaw, suckling and licking. He slows his pace of fucking you, as he knows you both are close to your orgasms, and he wants to make this incredibly enjoyable for the both of you.

“Baby… I-I’m close,” he whispers against the shell of your ear. He pushes his crotch farther up into you, truly grasping onto the feeling of his cock inside of you because he doesn’t want to take advantage of it right now. It just feels too good for him to comprehend.

You sigh against him, “I know my love, me too.” He lets out a breath of relief. Thank God, he thinks, because if you weren’t right there with him, on the brink of release, he wouldn’t be able to last another few moments.

You unexpectedly topple into your orgasm first, a near scream tearing through your throat. The clenching of your cunt sends him right over the edge with you. You both express your pleasure loudly through words that humble together and loud breaths.

Luke feels your pussy soak his cock once more, and he swears you’ve never been this wet before. He’s never felt it. And he thanks himself for working up the courage to ask you to try something new because he never knew he’d get you this good.

His orgasm, along with yours, feels like absolute bliss. Pleasure tears through the both of you in insane amounts. You feel him paint the inside of you, and it will always feel impeccable. Nothing will ever come close.

“Oh my gosh,” you start to giggle against him as you collapse your body on top of his. “That was amazing, Lu.”

He kisses the top of your head once he regains composure, “Felt too fucking good. Always so good for me, my love.” He pauses. “Never felt you that wet before.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever even been that wet before. Made me feel amazing, tonight Luke. Was so different.” You start tracing patterns along his chest, as he hums softly along your words.

He takes a pause and starts thinking before speaking up after a while.

“Im sorry about ruining the whole cockwarming thing, uh… got too impatient and it just felt too good,” He frowns, realizing he might’ve ruined it for you as well.

“You didn’t ruin anything for me, baby. Felt so good I don’t even care…” You pause, “Let’s just do it now? You’re still inside of me.”

Luke’s face flushes. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. And when we wake up, take me,” and as soon as those words leave your mouth, Luke swears he’s hardening again already.

And you feel it. “Luke!”

“We need to go to sleep… like now. If I’m conscious for another five minutes I can’t promise I won’t fuck you again,” his gaze finds yours and his eyes darken.

You look up at him, meeting his stare, returning the same energy. “Can’t say I have a problem with that, Luke.”

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ughkat · 1 year ago

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hi! could you write calum x reader where calum has a crush on her and ashton exposes his crush on her during a live or something?

pls and thank u

i might do a part two of this idk 😳

crush | c.t.h

calum x fem!reader

part two here

got excited writing this sorry ab the lengthiness!

alcohol, swearing

not proofread

"I'm heading over right now."

"We'll be here.".

I finished my phone call to Ashton, who had just minutes ago invited me for a routine hangout with him and the other three boys.

My friendship with Ashton had sprouted prior to his band forming. We were best friends, some would describe as inseparable. Once joining the band, they immediately brought me in as well. Though never having the same connections as I did with Ashton with them, Calum, Luke and Michael never failed to make me feel at home.

Since then, we've grown up and blossomed into larger things in life, yet we still keep our bond close. Routine effortless hangouts and conversations on almost a daily has kept out growing friendships alive.

Recently, I had began to notice a shift in energy with Calum. I tried to think nothing of it, but the conversations began to get shorter, and his words for me grew small. He almost made me feel as if I did something wrong.

I gathered my belongings, checking my outfit before heading outside to my car, shivering at the cold weather. I dressed lazily in a large grey hoodie, along with black leggings and converse. I quickly turned on the heater after starting my car, and pulled put of the driveway.

I drove quietly as my mind wandered about confronting Calum for his change of mood towards me. I knew I was safe to bring up an issue to my friends, but I was concerned this was only a me problem.

My wandering mind passed the time quickly, arriving me to Ashton's apartment. I pulled slowly onto the curb in front of his apartment, sending off a quick "I'm here" text before exiting my car.

"Heyyy!" Ashton cheered goofily, raising his arms as he appeared from the front door. I giggled as I made my way up his driveway towards him. He reached an arm out for a quick hug as he spoke.

"How ya' doing?" He smiled, ushering me inside. I sighed dramatically.

"Could be better." I raised my eyebrows with defeat as I made my way inside. I set my bag and keys down on his kitchen counter which was decorated with various alcoholic beverages and snacks. I turned to the living room, being greeted by Calum, Luke and Michael at the couch. I watched as Calum's eyes quickly met mine, then shot back down to his hands.

"Well..." Ashton began, moving behind me swiftly, "Have a shot." He grinned, I turned to look at Ashton who had presented me with a small glass with a shot of mystery alcohol in it. The three boys from the living room shouted dramatic miscellaneous cheers and encouragements from behind me. I let out a laugh and reached for the drink. I looked at Ashton and shook my head laughing. With a shrug, I tossed my head back, taking my shot quickly. I scrunched my face briefly before frantically searching for a chaser.

"Give me a drink. I need a drink." I mumbled, shaking my head. Luke whistled from the couch with a laugh, holding out a Coke can. I hurried to the open drink and took a large swig.

"You didn't take that shot, that shot took you." Michael joked as I found my seat on the couch. I scoffed with furrowed eyebrows.

"Fuck off." I giggled. I glanced to Calum who had been awfully quiet. He was heavily focused on picking at a loose string on his t-shirt, faking an amused look on his face. I immediately noted his off mood. The boys continued whatever conversation they had before I arrived, laughing and cracking joke's beside me. I watched Calum carefully as he loosely followed their words, more in his own head than present with us. I decided to finally speak up.

"Cal." I chirped, snapping him out of his trance. His head perked up quickly as the room fell silent.

"Hm?" He raised an eyebrow, his eyes darted to everyone in the room nervously, then back to mine. I anxiously slouched back down at the unexpected and unnerving silence before speaking.

"Are you mad at me or something?" I questioned, keeping a cool tone. I watched from my peripheral as the boys eyes flashed to Calum. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he shook his head slowly.

"No..?" He muttered quietly. I bit the inside of me cheek and looked to the other boys, hoping one of them would agree with my observation of Calum's negative mood. Instead, they watched Calum like a bomb.

"You've been so quiet and weird with me lately. I know they see it too." I laughed anxiously, motioning to the boys. I widened my eyes at them, begging for some help. Calum looked to the boys, licking his lips anxiously.

"I-.." He began nervously, "I've just been feeling kinda off recently. I'm sorry." He stuttered nonchalantly, his eyes failing to connect with mine. "Kinda off?" I thought to myself, "Bad excuse.".

"I think he just means in the studio and such. We've all been pretty tired recently." Ashton jumped in quickly, glancing at Calum after speaking.

"Right." I replied, not buying whatever game they were trying to play.

We continued the night many hours into the early morning, as we normally would, we watched a few movies and ordered a bunch of junk food. Calum kept up his unusual behavior, trying his best to fake it, but I never let go of the thought that I would find out what was going on with him.

"You sure you don't wanna spend the night? It's late, and you've been drinking." Ashton offered as we walked to his front door. I gave him a hug and stepped outside.

"No, it's okay." I looked down to my phone, noting the time of 1:45 am. "I have work tomorrow and I'm okay to drive. My last drink was hours ago and all those snacks and fast food have taken over my veins." I groaned dramatically. Ashton giggled before nodding gently.

"I'll see you later." He patted my back and sent me down his driveway, watching me as I entered my car.

On my drive home, I was left unsatisfied with my confrontation with Calum. I thought our closeness would have led him to be more open, but he was so blatantly lying. Ashton obviously covering the lie for him only grew my suspicions more. My mind raced of the possibilities of what could be bothering the boy.

I lazily kicked off my shoes as I entered my apartment, tossing my keys of a small side table beside the door. Filled with junk from Ashton's house, I skipped my kitchen and headed straight for my bedroom.

I slipped out of my black leggings and hoodie, changing into a large shirt and underwear. As I tossed my laundry into the basket, my phone let off a ding on my bed. I flopped onto my bed, reaching for my phone and reading the notification. It read that the boys had started a live stream on twitch. I let out a giggle, amused at the boy's inability to rest. Clicking on the notification, I settled into my bed.

"We just saw each other 20 minutes ago!" Ashton cheered sarcastically from the livestream. I smiled at the faces on the screen.

"Hey, Y/n is here." Ashton chuckled, looking closer at the screen. I watched as the boys talked to the viewers of the stream and to each other, making jokes and messing with filters.

"Calum's sad cause Y/n yelled at him." Michael joked. Calum sent Michael a death glare, earning a chuckle from me.

"She didn't yell at me." Calum scoffed with a forced smile. I rolled my eyes sarcastically at his stubbornness, continuing to tune into the stream.

"He's sad cause he's in love with her." Ashton mumbled looking down to his phone, widening his eyes quickly and looking up at his screen after speaking, realizing what he had said.

"Dude." Calum spoke quietly. I narrowed my eyebrows at his words, him looking just as surprised as me. Ashton turned off his camera, followed by Calum, as if he had said something controversial. I put the speaker to my ear as the live suddenly fell quiet. Incoherent whispers came through before Ashton appeared again.

"Alright we'll see you guys later." Ashton forced a smile and a wave to the livestream before ending it abruptly. I stared at my empty screen in confusion, trying to make sense of Ashton's words. Did I hear him wrong? Was my phone glitching? I decided to play it cool and text Ashton calmly.

"Hey, why'd you end your live?"

I watched the three dots appear and disappear repeatedly before his message appeared.

"You should text Cal.".

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gothluke · 2 years ago

Text

OMG LUKE 🍑

#he is unserious #like he’s not real he’s an animated person #imagine #jumping into my dreams #luke hemmings #lukecore #5sos #ashton irwin #calum hood #michael clifford #cth #mgc #lrh #afi #lashton blog #bottom luke blog

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lovesosweeet · 1 year ago

Text

better left unsaid // cth

chapter zero

in which orion has leukemia, and calum doesn't know.

july 31st, 2018

LAX

orion

—

"Boys, time to board. Say your goodbyes." Matt, the band manager calls out. Really, he's only talking to Calum. Sierra and Crystal are joining the band for the start of the tour, while I'm the only one staying in LA.

Calum pulls me tighter into his chest, smoothing over the back of my hair. I'm crying and can feel wet splotches on his sweatshirt where my tears have fallen. I squeeze him as tight as I can, wishing more than anything that the situation was different.

"I'll see you when I get back," he says, his eyes swimming with a few tears he'd never let fall. "I love you."

I can't bring myself to lie and say he'll see me. I can lie by omission, but flat out lying is harder. Words just get caught in my throat. "I love you." There are a lot of other things I'd like to say, but I leave them unsaid, packed away in my brain, where they should be... where they won't hurt anyone except for me.

He peels back from our embrace just enough to kiss me. He wipes away my tears with his thumb and gives me a small smile. "You're the prettiest girl I've ever seen, even when you're crying."

I blush and scrunch up my nose. "Flattery isn't getting you anywhere today, babe." Cal playfully recoils a bit, acting like that bruised his ego. "I love you. Go, board. I'll be cheering you on every night."

Calum kisses me once more and I try to memorize every detail of this moment. I try to ignore the sinking feeling in my gut that's begging me to wonder if this will be our last kiss. I can't think like that. Not yet, anyway. I memorize the way his chapped, but still so soft lips feel against mine and the weight of his hands on my cheeks.

"I love you so much. I'll call you when we land, okay?" He plants a kiss on my nose. "Did I mention I love you?"

I smile—a real, toothy smile. I even roll my eyes a little. Even in moments like these, he still finds ways to make me happy. "No, don't think so."

He feigns fake hurt. "I did!"

"Go." I gently push his chest.

Calum sighs. "I'm gonna miss—"

"Cal, mate, we've really gotta go," Ash comes up behind him and puts his hand on Calum's shoulder. He gives me a sad smile. I make eye contact with him and try to telepathically say 'don't forget your promise.'

"It's not easy to say goodbye to the love of your life, dude!" Calum yells to Ash. It feels like stab in my chest.

"She also literally just told you to go!"

"I'm gonna miss you too, babe. Now go!" I quickly peck him on the lips one final time before I unwrap my arms from around him and take three steps back. Cal looks at me sadly. "Go!" I urge again, laughing through my tears.

He slumps his shoulders a bit and ruffles his hand through his hair. "Fine, okay, I'll go."

I blow him a kiss and watch him shuffle sadly to the exit of the fancy private suite LAX had prepared for the band. I then realize everyone else is still here, waiting for their chance to say goodbye to me.

The next few moments are just more hugs and I'll miss you's, Crystal and Sierra giving me empathetic gazes and arm squeezes. I wish the boys luck and usher them to follow Calum.

"Go, go, go, I love you all and will miss you but you're going to Japan for crying out loud! Go have fun!"

Mike and Luke, along with their girlfriends and the rest of the band's crew, leave the room, but Ash stays behind. He pulls me into a bone crushing hug as soon as it's just the two of us. Before I know it I can feel his body quiver as he cries.

"Ash, please don't," I whisper, not wanting to start sobbing.

I'm met with sniffles and gasps and he tries to pull it together enough to say something.

"I love you, O. We all do. I know I promised, it's just—"

I step back from our hug.

"No. You promised." My words are harsh, cold almost. I'm not sure how I'm managing to look him dead in the eye and not crumbling in this moment, but I'm sternly staring into Ash's eyes like an angry teacher.

Ashton gives me what might be the world's saddest smile. "I know. I promised. I won't break our promise; it's not my place to do it. But god, O, I wish you'd tell him."

I look away. "I know you do. But I'm not going to. Maybe after the tour, we'll have to see how treatment goes."

He stops and starts saying something in reply a few times before Matt pops his head back into the room. "Ash, she's not even your girlfriend, wrap it up my man."

I smile at Matt before he exits again.

"I love you. Call me if you need anything — and I mean it. Anything."

I nod, knowing I'm not planning on sharing any of the nitty gritty with Ashton. I don't want him to worry more than he already will be worrying. "Of course. Love you too, now go!"

As Ashton leaves me in silence, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pull it out to see a text from Calum.

From: bass boy 💕

i love love love you. i wish you could come with us, maybe next tour? you say the word and i'll fly you out wherever and whenever you want. i miss you already. xxx

read chapter one

—

a/n: uh, is this thing on?

hi. my name is zoe and i wrote a fanfic called "maybe" like 5 years ago (among many others) on wattpad but then i deleted my wattpad 3 years ago, and now i guess i'm re-entering the fanfic world? apparently?? anyway, i'm rewriting "maybe" and that's what this is but this time on tumblr bc no one is on wattpad anymore it seems.

this will feature cal's POV and bounce back in forth in time/place but i'll try to make it as clear as i can!!!

i love you all and thank you for being here <3

let me know if you have any thoughts or remember my old fics hehe

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #luke hemmings #calum hood #ashton irwin #fanfic #fanfiction #5sos fanfic #calum imagine #calum fanfic #cth #5sos fanfiction #calum 5sos

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yamayuandadu · 4 months ago

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What do you mean by an ishtar type goddess

I’ve picked this term up from Gary Beckman’s late 1990s articles Ištar of Nineveh Reconsidered and The Goddess Pirinkir and Her Ritual from Hattusa (CTH 644). In both of them he makes a point that across the “cuneiform world” (so, in modern terms roughly from the middle of Turkey to the west of Iran) multiple deities could be designated by the same logogram - IŠTAR, to be specific - and that this broadly reflects all of them having certain shared features , and indicates the existence of a category encompassing all of them in the imagination of ancient theologians. At the same time, he stresses that each of such deities will also have unique features which become evident when enough sources become available. He demonstrated it on examples like Shaushka, Pinikir and the Kizzuwatnean “goddess of the night” (the correct reading of her own name remains unknown). As far as I know Beckman was more or less the first to advance views like that equally successfully, but other studies using a similar methodology soon followed. For example Barbara Nevling Porter has managed to prove in the early 2000s that it is safe to say there are multiple fully distinct goddesses named Ishtar in Neo-Assyrian sources, and that they could even be portrayed interacting with each other (see her Ishtar of Nineveh and Her Collaborator, Ishtar of Arbela, in the Reign of Assurbanipal for more details).

These views are fairly mainstream today, though popular understanding very clearly lags behind. Tonia Sharlach in her excellent Ox of One’s Own. Royal Wives and Religion at the Court of the Third Dynasty of Ur (a fantastic book even if you’re not very interested in Mesopotamia) calls the names Inanna and Ishtar “umbrella terms” (p. 269). Spencer L. Allen dedicated an entire monograph to the phenomenon of one name often designating multiple functionally fully separate deities, The Splintered Divine. A Study of Ištar, Baal, and Yahweh. Divine Names and Divine Multiplicity in the Ancient Near East. There are numerous other examples, but these are what I’d consider the best introduction. The classification of (some) deities as exemplars of bigger “types” is not limited to Ishtar(s) and is overall fairly standard in Assyriology, see ex. the discussion here, pp. 298-299. The precedents for this sort of systematization are quite common in primary sources. We know that the scribes employed by the Ur III court essentially saw Ninisina as a “type” since despite the two being distinct, Gula could be referred to as “Ninisina of Umma” by them. God lists will sometimes have entries like “Enlil of Subartu” or “the Kassite Adad” and so on. “Type” is just the term I’m used to because Beckman was my introduction to this idea but I’ve also seen phrases like “Nergal figure”, “lesser Nergal” etc. employed by Frans Wiggermann, for instance.

#mesopotamian miscellanea

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lipringlrh · 2 years ago

Text

just being polite - cth

summary: you and calum broke up, but you decide to call him again to tell him you love him.

pairing: calum hood x genderneutral!reader

an: in honour of his birthday:)

word count: ~1250

requested: yes

warnings: phone call, bit of angst, pet names, bit of a cliffhanger

feedback appreciated!!

...

It'd only been two months since your breakup with Calum and somehow you still managed to miss him more and more each day.

You were still led in bed - even though it was mid-afternoon. You had just finished crying over your third film of the day, each one somehow reminding you more and more of him.

You decided you were going to call him. You missed him too much. Each day you regretted the break up but, after many romantic films, you decided you were going to have you own romance movie and get your happy ending. And you couldn't think of anyone other than Calum.

The break up, per se, wasn't horrible; it was the seeing each other again and again, starting new fights, that was the most painful. It seemed more and more impossible to fall out of love with him. Every time you tried, you heard his voice in the back of your mind, "baby, I am so sorry.”

His voice seemed to just nag you, telling you over and over again he wanted you back. Whether it was true or not, you didn't know, but what you did know was that you wanted Calum back in your life, no matter the circumstances.

And now here you were, deciding to to call him, dialling in his number, which you shamelessly knew off by heart, even planning to lose all your dignity in the process, and beg for him back. Except, maybe without the begging. If he agreed straight away it would be a little less time consuming.

By the third ring, you had always considered hanging up. What if he didn't want you? What if he moved on already? You couldn't bare that thought. It would prove to you how much less he cared about you than he made you believe. You couldn't fathom how he could've possibly got over you in such short time if he really loved you as much as he promised.

However, Calum had seen the call. He'd noticed from the very first ring. He had stared at your name - a little shocked - debating how long to wait until he could answer without seeming desperate.

Calum missed you. More than he ever imagined was possible. He was never told how to get over a true love so had spent his time similarly to you, convinced it was impossible to ever move on.

As much as he missed you, he was a coward, admittedly so, and wouldn't call you. He couldn't handle a bad response. He had never been hurt this badly and hearing you say you didn't want him would break him far from recovery.

He'd never admit it, but scrolling through social media, he found a video explaining how to get someone back thorough manifestation, which he tried with you, and if this call went the way he wanted, it would have successfully worked.

Calum couldn't wait anymore and answered the phone, immediately pulling up to his ear and mumbling a, "hello?"

He heard a sigh of relief from the other end of the phone before hearing a small, "hi," greeted back to him.

The line was silent for a little while before you heard Calum murmur, “why'd you call?"

You could tell he was apprehensive. You were too.

"Just- I wanted to ask how you are?" It came out more as a question. Your hands were getting more sweaty as you were trying not to anticipate the worse response. You were contemplating backing out entirely but a good result was too heavenly.

"You want to ask how I am? That's- that's it?" He scoffed. "The last time you saw me, we were screaming at each other and now you're asking how i am?"

“| was just being polite," you objected, "was trying not to get anyone annoyed." It was like you could feel Calum roll his eyes. All you wanted was a civil conversation and a love confession but seemingly, you'd already failed at one.

You both went silent again, neither knowing what to say. Calum didn't know why he was getting so annoyed. He figured he just needed another way of getting out his emotions other than crying. He knew he'd started off rough, maybe altering the tone of the rest of the conversation, but he was too stubborn to apologise now, especially without knowing the real reason you called.

"Is that all you wanted because I think we're done now.” He spoke, the malice leaving his body the second he finished. His head fell down in regret. He didn't want to finish talking to you; he never wanted to. The thought that he may of just ruined his chances with you, again, sprung back in his mind. Recurring and repeating every second.

"You never actually answered," you responded, "I'm waiting.” You sounded tired. You didn't know if you could handle another conversation like this: tense and argumentative. You just wanted your boyfriend back.

Calum seemed to notice. When he answered, he spoke much more calmly with a hint of sadness in his voice, "I'm fine."

He wasn't fine. If there's anything you learnt from your time together, it was how to tell his emotions. As sick as it sounded, you wanted him to have missed you like you missed him. You'd never want to see him hurt but you wanted him to miss you, to come back and tell you he loved you.

Everything fell silent again..

“I don't want to go," you faltered.

He was quiet; he didn’t know what to say. He knew what he wanted to say but didn’t know if he could admit it to you. Neither of you wanted to be in a vulnerable position. You both felt the love you held for each other but you both couldn’t tell what the other thought was best to do.

“I don’t want you to go either,” he admitted.

Everything fell silent again, you wanted to tell him you loved him but the words felt like sick in your mouth. You didn’t want lose him more than you had - if that was even possible.

“I miss you, Cal,” you paused again, letting everything go quiet. When Calum was about to reply, you interrupted him. You needed to get everything across to him before he had the chance to disagree.

“I miss you so much, Cal. I know we broke up and I know there was so many reasons but none of them matter anymore. I want you, Cal, over everything, and I want us back, please. I lo-“

“Save that for when I see you again, okay baby?” Your stomach fluttered at the nickname. “I miss you too.”

“Where are you at the moment? I want to see you soon.” you whispered, like a secret. You didn’t want to complicate things, you wanted Calum to be comfortable and not rush anything.

“M‘near you. I know it’s late but could i maybe come over? We can talk, try to sort this out properly?” You hummed back as a reply, adding a “please do” to the end.

“I’ll see you in maybe half an hour, that okay?” You nodded before realising then muttered out a yes, walking into your bathroom to see how you look.

“Okay, see you soon baby.”

requests are open, feedback is appreciated!

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nerves-nebula · 1 year ago

Note

i think Leo never really got "that' conversation because of Splinter's grooming and manipulation towards her(?), and of course, her personal opinions.

Mikey is too abrassive, he's often demonstrated angry towards Leo's actions and speaks against her the most, so maybe Leo didn't felt close enough to talk to him.

Donnie's weak, in Leo's view at least. Leo's suppose to be the strong one, and talking about a sensitive topic he doesnt exactly understand is already difficult, talking to someone he (and sensei) views as weak is not something she would do. (Expecially with the ABE-CTH (a bitch) situation.)

Raph's a bit more difficult to me, personally I think it has to do with his memory. Why would you expose yourself to someone who wont remember a word after? and they too don't feel like buddies or siblings at least. More like roommates who just say "hi" to eachother after an awful day of work.

And Leo's opinions about it, of course. If during 'it' she liked it, there's no need to tell anyone about it. Even if it had, she's suppose to be the strong one, she can handle her problems alone (unlike donnie) and still make her dad happy. She doesn't have connections close enough to talk to, and thinks of herself to highly to seek them.

i mean, thats my opiniok, broskii,,, m just a random reador :3 tehhe - 🌺 anon

If during 'it' she liked it, there's no need to tell anyone about it. Even if it had, she's suppose to be the strong one, she can handle her problems alone (unlike donnie) and still make her dad happy. She doesn't have connections close enough to talk to, and thinks of herself to highly to seek them.

i am sipping soda and smiling deliciously while reading this. you're soooo right <<33 i love the breakdown of the relationships here.

its really interesting seeing you guys put stuff that was kind of subconscious into words. like yeah you're completely right about Leo's strained relationship with her brothers, but i never really thought to write it down i guess? It just made sense to me.

of course she wouldn't trust Donnie, he's weak and emotional. he wouldn't trust Mikey because Mikey is a loudmouth who spends half his time arguing with him out of spite. And Raph?? Raph is.... just no. It's hard to say why, maybe its because he's so serious and it would be awkward. maybe she just cant imagine having any kind of painfully open emotional conversation with Raph. Raph is like, a rock, an emotional bastion, he never cries, he's always just vaguely and quietly disgruntled in a way that Leo is kind of jealous of (cause he sees it as more masculine than his own fits of rage lmao)

one thing I will say though is that they don't really notice when Raph is dissociating/how bad his memory is until later. From personal experience, you can live basically on top of someone your whole childhood and not notice that they aren't really present for large amounts of it.

#nnstuff #ask #csa tw #sa tw #teenage mutant neglected turtles #tmnt leo

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sakurachan7734 · 8 months ago

Text

Happy little family

Chapter 5: I knew we would meet again

Angel: how’s everything going, sweetheart? I haven’t seen you in years!

Kim: don’t f***ing call me that

Angel: why? I’m your mother. I can call you when I want

Kim: why?! WHY?! You KNOW why!! You were never a f***ing mother to me you didn’t love me or dad! All you care about was your f***ing image and you’re picture perfect family you wanted me to be a little doll silent, and do as you please! You didn’t you want a family you wanted a dollhouse to control! You sold me off to be a f***ing lab rat!! I never loved you I never wanna see your f***ing face again!! I have been wanting to say this for a long time!!!

Angel: don’t you talk to me like that young lady!!

Kim: young lady?! I am 32 years old!! I have a fiancé I have two kids. I have my own f***ing family You think you could just walk back in like nothing happened!! You will never be in mine or my kids life!!

Angel: oh really you’re getting married? Who wanna marry a little b!cth like you? where are your children?

Kim: one I am not the b!cth you are! Too a wonderful woman named Sally and three I have one of them with me right f***ing now and you’ll make me look terrible in front of him

Angel: oh it’s good to know that my daughter was one of them no wonder your like this

Talus:* starts crying* mommy who is this?

Kim: a very bad person and you should go wait by the car

Talus:* crying* ok mommy

Talus leaves to go wait by the car

Angel: let me guess that little boy you claim is yours it’s supposed to look more like your “ wife”?

Kim: he is mine I was the one who put him in his mother

Angel: how are they not dead? I would imagine it’s so hard to live without a daddy nobody to teach him how to work and use tools

Kim: didn’t you grow up without a dad?! Why is it such a big deal that my kids don’t have a dad?! And I’m the one who is teaching him all the life lessons he needs to know

Angel: that’s different

Kim: it looks like you didn’t f***ing change this conversation is f***ing over now I’m gonna go be a better mother than you!!!!

Kim grabs her cart and walks back to the car and puts everything in the car gets in the car and starts crying

Kim:* crying* I’m sorry talus you shouldn’t have seen that or hear what I said

Talus:* hugs Kim’s arms* who was that?

Kim: my own mother and that’s why you never visit her because it turned into a screaming match between me and her

Talus: what did she do?

Kim: I don’t wanna talk about it

Talus:* hugs Kim’s arm again* it’s ok mommy

Kim:*continues to cry* thank you

Kim cry’s for a few minutes and starts driving to the hospital but notices a car following them but she decides to ignore it and drives to the hospital

Tobor: mommy!

Kim: hi tobor! Are you feeling any better?

Tobor: I fell really weak and sick

Kim: that’s just the side effect of your medicine

Tobor: ok mommy

Angel:* storms in* you don’t get to walk away from me!! Like a child!!

Kim: boys go back to tobors room with mama

The boys run off and Kim and angel go outside

Kim: What the f**k do you want?!

Angel: for you to talk to me like you’re my daughter and not like I killed your kids

Kim: did you hit your head?! You know why I am yelling at you!!! You f**king sold me off to a laboratory that performed horrible experiments on me!! And turned me into what I am!!

Angel: that happened years ago I thought you would be over it!

Kim: HOW DELUSIONAL ARE YOU?! I HAVE PTSD FROM ALL THE SH!T I WENT THROUGH I ALMOST F**KING DIED I LOST A ARM AND A EYE YOU DON’T GET TO WALK BACK INTO MY LIFE LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED I FINALLY F**KING FOUND PEOPLE WHO I CAN CALL MY FAMILY AND YOU CANT JUST EXCEPT ME TO LET YOU BACK INTO MY LIFE!!

Angel: it doesn’t matter how much you yell at me you shouldn’t talk to your mother like this!!

Kim: you don’t f**king realize I can beat the sh!t out of you and everybody here can watch but I’m not in the mood to get arrested

Angel: fine I will stay out of your life even though you’re making sh!t up I never did any of that to you

Kim walks back into the hospital and into tobors room

Sally: what’s wrong Kim?

Kim: I ran into my mother twice

Sally: oh talus was telling me about that and I heard you screaming

Kim: yea I’m sorry I should’t have acted like that In front of the boys

Sally: well you should definitely work on controlling your emotions more but I understand why you acted the way you did

Kim: I’m going to go outside to calm down

Sally: ok take your time sweetie

Kim leaves the room

Tobor: I have been having weird dreams mama

Sally: oh those are fever dreams

Tobor: no i don’t think so I see to people and they say that they are your parents but the lady looks nothing like grandma Linda

Sally: oh well do you know what they look like?

Tobor: the man is wearing traditional Jewish clothing with yellow and black hair and he has burn marks and the lady has hair like you but it’s pink and silver and she is wearing a kippah and a sweater with sweetpants

Sally: oh well let me know if you see them again

Tobor: ok mama where did mommy go?

Sally: oh she’s just outside calming down from what happened earlier today

Tobor: why was mommy yelling?

Sally: oh she just found somebody who she has a really bad history with and she is the reason why mommy looks the way she looks

Tobor: she didn’t always look like that?

Sally: yes but if you wanna know more, you should probably talk to her about it not me she doesn’t like it whenever people talk about it we should get going out and you should get some rest

Tobor: ok I will ask her about it tomorrow

End of chapter

#oc story #lizard oc #mouse oc

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wastelandcth · 4 years ago

Text

with the bears - cth

summary: calum takes dovey camping, let’s just say they both aren’t the most outdoorsy people.

anon requested: hi gemma i recently discovered your blog and youve become one of my fave writers ever!!! i was wondering if you can do a little camping imagine with cal thats pretty secluded but it’s all cute :-)

author’s notes: thank you so much for requesting and thank you for your lovely words! i hope you enjoyed a different side to the doves’ relationship and their adventures in camping!

warnings: gemma has never been camping, fluff, mentions of bears

masterlist || request

Calum had come up with the idea of going camping, taking advantage of the cooler weather that October and November brought into California. At first, Dovey had been hesitant, since the idea of sleeping in a sleeping bag on the cold floor in the middle of the floor seemed like a plot for Calum to finally murder her, even if they had been dating for over three years now. But now, here she was, at the crack of dawn pushing her bag into the boot of Calum's car while he warmed up the car in the dark morning dew. Calum had insisted that they leave in the early morning to try and skip some of the traffic California was known for, which Dovey knew was impossible since they were traveling during the morning rush hour no matter where they were on the highway by the time people woke up and made their way to work. With a cup of coffee in one hand and her trusty blanket in the other, Dovey sat down in the passenger seat watching the cloudy November sky, still shining with the few stars that the light pollution never seemed to scare away.

They were on the highway a few minutes later, Calum's stereo blasting a mix of pop songs and party songs that Dovey swore would wake them up more than coffee ever could. It would be a few hours before they arrived at the campsite, somewhere off in the mountains and far away from civilizations, where Calum swore they'd be alone for miles on end and able to relax and be with just each other. Dovey, who had watched Calum pack his car the night before, hadn't mentioned that a tent and sleeping bag were missing, mostly because she was still half asleep but also because Calum had insisted they had everything they needed. The sun rose behind the ocean, the sky filling with pinks and blues that left Dovey in silence as she watched the views that the Pacific Coast Highway had to offer them and before she even finished the playlist she had made for their trip, the car was pulling off the highway and into a dirt path that was labeled with a picture of a Redwood tree.

Glamping, Calum hadn't said glamping. Dovey should've assumed really, Calum had never struck her as someone who could survive in the forest with a few bags of chips and a case of drinks he'd bought at Costco a few days prior. Dovey had expected a tent and trying to survive a cold night in the forest, but she was grateful that Calum knew they'd both freeze and instead went with a camping experience they'd both live through. Getting out of the car and making the short hike up to their secluded tent made her lungs burn, the chilly morning air and the steep climb up the hill waking her up more than the coffee and songs on the drive there.

The tent had a front porch, a large canopy above it to protect them from any rain or falling branches, lined with two patio chairs and a fire pit in the center for roasting marshmallows. The tent itself was cozy and had a bed that was big enough to fit Dovey and Calum and maybe even a giant bear if one had the chance to make it in which Dovey thought would make a funny story even if Calum had only laughed and thrown a pillow when she had mentioned it to him. The birds had been singing when they'd finally settled into their tent, both of them laying in bed and looking through their mesh skylight and took in the fresh air the forest had to offer.

Their first day was spent exploring their campsite with Calum making sure that there were no bears anywhere near them or their tent at all times. They'd gone to one of the hiking trails, both Dovey and Calum in shock at the size of the Redwood trees as they walked side by side in comfortable silence. Dovey had been surprised that they hadn't gotten lost, letting out a breath she hadn't know she was holding in when she saw their tent in the distance later that night. When the sun had set and the stars rose in the night sky, Dovey found herself in Calum's arms on one of the patio chairs, both of them tangled up in one of the many duvets Dovey had insisted on bringing to keep them safe from the cold.

"Do you think the bears only come at night? It would make sense, they only come when we least expect them, you never know Calum." Dovey had whispered as she watched the flames dancing in the fire pit.

"I really wish you would let the whole bear thing go, they can sense when someone is talking about them, don't you know? I learned that in a documentary." Calum teased, his hands squeezing Dovey's hips as he looked up at the stars, a soft sigh leaving his lips.

Dovey laughed, her head resting back on his chest as she relaxed in her lover's arms. Away from civilization and in the comfort of a tent with plumbing and a way to keep bears out, she felt content, felt safe with Calum holding her in his arms. They'd been distant for a while, both of them caught up in life and work, the trip away from the city very needed by both of them. It was also just a nice way to be together, away from the lights and cameras which seemed to follow Calum more nowadays.

"What're you thinking about, pretty?" Calum mumbled into her ear, his voice laced with sleep and something Dovey couldn't name.

"I'm just very happy here with you. I'm glad we did this, glad I'm here with you." Dovey had said after a while, her gaze moving up to meet Calum's who had already had his eyes on her.

"Yeah? Me too. I'm always happy when I'm around you, Dovey. I'm so grateful that I can make you as happy as you made me. Thank you for coming here with me." he whispered and placed a soft kiss on the tip of her nose.

"And the bears?"

"And I'm thankful for the bears being here too."

#calum hood blurbs #calum hood imagines #calum hood oneshots #calum hood fics #5sos blurbs #5sos imagines #5sos fics #5sos oneshots #calum hood #5sos #5 seconds of summer #anon request #gemma writes #cth blurbs #cth imagines

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sinning5sos · 1 year ago

Note

“you’re so full of yourself”

“no, baby, you’re so full of >me<“

with calum please I’m a whore for him

Cocky | Calum

Requested: Yes! Amen.

Word Count: ~2,100

Smut: softdom!cal, oral, rough sex, doggy aftercare <3

Calum was driving the two of you back to his apartment, his fingers lightly grazing your thigh as his other hand held the wheel. It was quiet.

You weren’t sure exactly what you did, but when you tried to kiss Calum just a bit ago as the two of you got into the car, he turned his cheek to you. He wouldn’t let you kiss him when he was going to punish you later, so as soon as that happened. You knew.

You fucked up.

You were eager though. Calums night of punishments usually led to a lazy morning followed by sweet, slow sex with breakfast after. Plus, you loved being punished. You were Calums little whore when it was the two of you.

He hummed along quietly to a song playing from the speaker, and you captured his hand in yours and pulled the back of his hand up to your lips. You pressed a gentle kiss there, and he chuckled as he glanced at you, then back at the road.

“Don’t think you can fix it now Princess.” He murmured and you suppressed a smile as you let his hand fall back to your thigh. You loved his sweet touches, but you loved his rough fucks.

The engine idled as he pulled into the driveway, and he released your thigh to turn the car off.

“Go ahead and go inside for me. Up to our room.” He instructed, leaning across the console to kiss your cheek. You nodded as you pushed out of the car, nearly tripping over your own feet as you unlocked the front door and went straight into the shared bedroom.

With any nights like these, Calum always wanted you to strip down for him before he got in. He claimed it was because it built up the anticipation. You liked to joke back that it was because he was lazy.

That usually earned you some spankings or orgasm denial, just depended on his mood that day.

You stripped out of your dress and other clothes, and sat at the edge of the bed when he finally walked in. He shut the door behind him, and unbuttoned his sleeves as he stood in front of you.

“You were running your mouth an awful lot at game night tonight.” He muttered, his hands moving down to the clasp of his belt and you bit down on your tongue as you watched him undo it. He removed it in one swoop and pointed down in front of him. You nodded and quickly fell into position, on your knees and he moved behind you to tie your hands behind your back.

“Making quick little jokes to our friends. I think the one that caught my attention the most was that you were the one in charge in the bedroom.” Calum teased, and you felt your cheeks flush as you hadn’t realized he heard you. You had been chatting with your friends while the guys were grabbing refills, and made an innocent joke that you were the dominant one within your relationship.

“That’s right Princess, I heard that little comment. Nothing to say now?” He asked as he cocked his brow and moved back in front of you. You shook your head and eagerly pushed up off your thighs so you were closer to him.

“Good girl. Can I push you a little tonight?” He murmured, his thumb catching your jaw as he tilted your head up to look at him. You licked your lips, feeling your cunt start to drip in anticipation as you nodded.

“That’s my good girl. So hot for me, being on your knees.” He praised, and you smiled up at him as he unzipped his pants. He pushed them down slightly then he bent to press a rough kiss against yours and nipped your bottom lip as he pulled away, whispering, “Remember our word.”

Calum pulled his cock out, and pumped himself a few times before bringing it to your mouth. You opened and accepted him without complaint, and swirled your tongue around his tip. He moaned quietly and let you suck him off for a bit. You bobbed your head along his length, taking what you could and doing the best you can without using your hands.

“Breathe,” He instructed, and you took a deep breath in. He wound his hands in your hair, his fingers becoming tangled in as he started to grind his hips into you. He pressed in deeply, deeper than usual and you gagged for a second as you willed your throat to relax around him. As you choked on his cock, a victorious moan fell from his lips as his head fell back in pleasure.

He rocked his hips slightly, now facefucking you and you looked up at him through watery eyes and adored how serene he looked. His eyes were shut tight, his lips parted and a quiet whimper fell out. He bit down on his lip then caught your gaze, and smiled down at you. He pulled out, your spit following as you were able to take a deep breath.

“So fucking hot for me. You like it when I facefuck you, don’t you?”

“Oh yes Calum. But I like when you fuck me more in my wet pussy.”

“Such a filthy mouth. I’ll have to fuck that out of you,” He murmured, and you giggled as he helped lift you up so you were now standing. He kissed you once again, his fingers tangling in your hair again as he helped back you up onto the bed. Your hands, still restrained by his belt, attempted to brace your fall onto the bed.

“I thought about tying your legs up too, but I love it much more when you can be my flexible little slut,” He whispered in your ear as he climbed on top of you, “Can you do that for me?”

You nodded as you raised your legs in front of him, and he pushed down on your inner thighs. There was a slight burn, but he ran his hands up to your ankles, now as high as his shoulders and kissed the inside of your leg.

“Actually, I want your hands free too. Turn to the side real quick,” He instructed. You rolled to the right and he undid the belt loop and let it fall to the side of the bed as he pushed you back down onto the bed.

“Fuck me Cal,” You whispered, and he chuckled as he dragged his fingers along your folds and then brought his hand up to his mouth.

“So fucking wet, and all you did was suck me off?” He teased, and you nodded as you stroked his cock for a second.

He pushed inside of you, all thoughts coming to a stop at how he filled you. You breathed out as he started rocking his hips and moaned as he found the rhythm you loved.

“It feels so fucking good,” You whimpered and he chuckled as he placed his one hand on the inside of your thigh and pushed your leg further back, and his other leg gripped one of your boobs. Calum hungrily kissed you, his teeth mashed against yours and you giggled as you pulled your head back slightly.

“God who kisses like that?” You teased him, knowing that it could result in another punishment but you craved it.

“Please, you fucking love it.” Calum muttered. You rolled your eyes at him, and scratched your nails down his back. He moaned out lightly, before reaching down to kiss you again, but you turned your head at the last second.

“You are so full of yourself, aren’t you?” You whispered to him, and he chuckled.

“No but baby, you’re so full of me right now.” He murmured, his nose nudging yours and you giggled.

“Yeah, I love how your cock fills me Calum.” You breathed out, and he nodded.

“That’s what I thought Princess. Now don’t try to get an attitude again or I’ll have to teach you another lesson. Now get on your hands and knees for me.”

You quickly followed his instructions after he pulled out, and turned your body over on the bed. You arched your back into the air, and he caressed the curve of your spine as he lifted your ass higher into the air.

“That’s a good girl for me.” He breathed out, and you smiled as you wiggled your ass slightly in front of him. He let out a quiet chuckle, then slapped your ass. You hummed at the contact, feeling his fingertips sting even after his hand was gone.

He pushed you down further into the bed, your mouth falling open as he slammed back inside of you and you moaned loudly.

“Still so full of me, aren’t you?” He muttered, his knee coming up beside your hips as he adjusted his position. You whimpered as you attempted a response, and he chuckled again.

“No response?”

“Fucking me too good,” You mumbled into the sheets, and you turned your head as best you could to see him smiling.

“Bet no one else fucks you like I do,”

You couldn’t form a response, but reached your hand back to tap the outside of his thigh on the left side. A quick little three taps, y e s , and Calum gripped your hair in his hand as he pulled back roughly. Your neck was exposed to the wall, and he bent over your body to wrap his other hand around your neck. He tucked his three middle fingers into your mouth, forcing you to gag on them as he continued fucking you.

“Good fucking girl,” He grunted and your moans were shallow as your were pushed further down into the bed, “Keep taking my cock so well. You gonna cum soon?”

“Mmm,” You whimpered around his fingers and Calum pulled his fingers out and nudged you to respond properly, “Yes Cal, I want you to cum inside of me too,”

“Fuck,” He groaned as his hands gripped your hips. He continued fucking you, his fingertips digging into your skin as your orgasm started to crash over you. Your thighs shook as you turned your head into the bed, and cried out.

“Such a good girl for me, just hold on,” He murmured as he continued fucking out his own orgasm, and you felt him cum inside of you. You hummed as he pulled out and turned your head to see behind you, loving the way that his cum dripped out from your cunt.

“What a sight,” He whispered, pressing a kiss to the back of your ass and you wiggled your ass slightly in front of his face. He ran his hand up your ass, along your back as he moved around the bed. He cupped your cheeks and pulled your face to his and kissed you deeply.

“I love you,” He murmured, and you lazily hummed as you kissed him again.

“I love you,” You whispered and watched as he walked into the bathroom for a moment, then returned with a washcloth. He pressed the warm rag to your pussy, and cleaned up the mess that he made while you sat there contently.

His fingers slowly dragged along the outside of your cunt, and down your thighs and inner legs. He hummed quietly with each gentle swipe and threw the rag into the hamper by the closet.

“Lay down baby,” He prompted, and you nodded as you let your legs fall out beneath you. You felt the slight burn from being stretched earlier and from holding that position, but you loved that burn. You brought your arms underneath your head to support it and turned to keep watching him move around the room. He lit a candle, your favorite one, and you breathed in the scent deeply as you felt your body relaxing so quickly.

He grabbed your lotion from the bedside table, and straddled your lower back as he rubbed the lotion into your hands. His palms pushed down onto your shoulder blades as they massaged down your arms. He then scooted himself down and applied more lotion to your back, then your ass, then down your legs to your feet.

“Go ahead and sleep baby, I’m going to write for a bit,” He murmured as he pressed a kiss to the top of your forehead as he walked around the bed again.

“You wore me out,” You whispered, still lying facedown on the bed, your eyelids starting to droop.

591 notes · View notes

inthepassengerside · 9 months ago

Text

Halloween

warnings: oral (f), fingering, sir like once, dirty talk, cuddling before and after

a/n: this is old </3

masterlist

It was getting late. You had decided to go to a party closer an opposite side of the city with your friends—who were best friends with a group of boys.

It was a Halloween party, you had just dressed up as a simple angel. You had nothing in your closet as it was a last minute decision to go, and that was the only thing you could put together from previous years.

It was your third year of college, and you weren’t one to turn down a party. Even though you were upset at your friends for feeling the need to attend an hour before it begun, you still went. It was Halloween! You wanted to have fun.

So, you put on your white eyeliner and cute outfit and decided to go have a ball. You might have looked a little childish since your friends dressed, well, to be undressed, but, you hoped they could get some and have an eventful night. You weren’t looking for anything other than a good time.

As to the particular boys who were hosting this party, they were all nice. Calum was the closest to you guys, always checking up in the group chats and reaching out to invite you to these type of things.

None of the boys were dressed up, each in comfortable house attire. You thought it was very lame, not the type of energy a Halloween party should have.

Sometimes you felt forgotten, but it wasn’t anything towards your friends. You just weren’t as close to all the people they were. You got along with them well, Ashton, Michael, Calum, and Luke. You had spoken to Luke less than the others, as he was a little shy, but you knew he was a good guy.

As it was getting late, an incredibly heavy thunderstorm had begun. The people in the room lessened as bodies were leaving and you and your friends helped clean up. Nobody ever bothered to stick around for that part.

“Wow, it’s incredible outside,” Michael said as he walked to throw out some garbage he picked up.

“Oh shit! What are we going to do? We can’t drive home in this. The one time we all stayed sober, too,” Your friend let out a chuckle.

As all they all talked amongst themselves they decided it was the best to spend the night. Heat rose to your cheeks. Where were you going to sleep? You didn’t like sharing rooms or spending the night anywhere other than your bed. Thunderstorms terrified you already.

You sighed to yourself and sat down on the sofa as you finished your last spot of cleaning.

“There’s a spare bedroom upstairs. It’s a queen sized bed. There are four of you though, anyone can take the floor or we can pull out some cushions from this couch,” Ashton shrugged.

You spoke up before anyone else took the offer, “If you guys are all cool with sharing a bed I’ll just take the couch down here,”

“Are you sure? There can be enough space if anyone wants to stay in our rooms too,” Calum said.

Luke was looking at his feet. He ruffled a hand through his hair and then pulled out his phone, sitting down across from you.

“Nah, thank you, but it’s fine. I honestly prefer it,” You sent him a shy smile, to which he mirrored back.

Your eyes landed on your friends, who were each sending you apologetic looks from across the room. You also smiled their way, waving your hand, telling them not to worry about it.

Ashton sighed, “Well, it’s been a long day guys, so I’m heading up. Thank you all for coming, we’ll see you in the morning.”

Everyone agreed and said goodnight, piling up the stairs one after another, except Luke, who wandered a few steps away into his room and shut the door.

It actually felt nice, the air conditioner kept the room cool and a comforting silence.

The only thing that sucked was the clothes you had on. You were waiting for someone to offer, but you’re sure it just slipped their minds. You were wondering if you could pull off just sleeping in your costume, but the thought of your skirt riding up and one of the guys finding you on the couch exposed made you nervous. You wandered over to Luke’s room since he was the closest and knocked on his door.

It took him a minute before he opened the door, his hair matted against his forehead and his face a little red, breathing heavy which was concerning. You decided not to dwell on it and just ask before he fell asleep. It had been a solid fifteen minutes after everyone said goodnight.

“I’m so sorry, but I can’t sleep in these clothes. Do you mind if I borrow some? I swear I’ll have them back in the morning.” You rambled, biting the inside of your cheek out of nervousness. You wouldn’t feel this bad if you had talked to him on the regular, but you didn’t.

It took him a little while before he actually responded, just staring at you, “Yeah, yeah of course.”

Luke opened the door wider so you could walk in. You took the time to admire the small, but comfortable room he had as you waited for some clothes. A tiny sofa chair, guitars, and posters aligned in a corner along with other items that resembled his character.

You felt a tap on your shoulder and turned around to see Luke, holding folded items as he extended them out to you.

“Thank you so much,” You said as you showed a small smile, “Like I said I’ll have these back tomorrow.”

He waved, “Stop, I don’t care about that. Get some sleep. There’s a bathroom along the other side of this wall for you to change.”

You glanced out the door to where he pointed and started walking towards it.

“Goodnight, I’ll see you in the morning,” You said to the blonde boy, making your way into the bathroom.

You set the clothes on top of the sink and started undressing. He had given you four items. A pair of boxers, a t-shirt, crewneck, and sweatpants. You put on the boxers and t-shirt and left the others on the sink folded next to your costume.

The thought of wearing another boy’s clothing made you blush, but you pushed the thought away just as fast as it entered your mind.

It was no doubt Luke was a very attractive man. You end up feeling upset sometimes that you’re not close with him because you want to spend more time with him. He’s also part of the reason you came to this party.

Flicking off the lights, you shut the door and made yourself comfortable on the couch. Ashton had brought you down pillows and covers as well.

You spent the next ten minutes scrolling on your phone before attempting to go to sleep.

———————————————————————————

Flashes of white keep you unsteady for the next half hour.

The uncomfortable couch didn’t help, the whole situation made you break out in sweats. Readjusting your position for what felt like the hundredth time that night, you ended up on your back.

Thunder roared as you jolted. You sat up, you were never going to fall asleep.

Before you could shut your eyes in effort to ease your restlessness, a door squeaked open and light dimly lit the room. Your head turned, noticing Luke standing in the doorway.

“Are you ever going to fall asleep?” He asked, tone nothing but serious.

You felt so embarrassed. You figured it wouldn’t be that obvious you were tossing and turning, but the noises of the couch creaking every time you turned didn’t help, “I’m so sorry. Did I wake you?”

He rubbed his tired eyes, “What’s keeping you awake?”

“The storm, and I can’t seem to get comfortable.”

He walked towards you and reached to collect your pillows and sheets, “Come sleep in my room. There’s only one window and I have thick curtains.”

“No, no, I promise you it’s fine.”

“You’re not going to fall asleep out here. C’mon.”

You sighed, “Thank you.”

He smiled, “Don’t mention it.”

You walked into his room and he put your pillows and sheets on the recliner. Walking towards it, Luke’s eyebrows furrowed. “What are you doing?”

“Um, getting ready to sleep.”

“You’re taking the bed, don’t even think about arguing it’s too late for that.”

You shook your head. “Luke I already feel guilty about waking you up. Please let me take the chair.”

You heard fake snores. Wow, okay.

You chucked to yourself. “Thank you.” Getting into his unmade bed, you flicked off the lamp on the nightstand as you both said goodnight.

Yet the thunderstorm was only getting worse. You spent the next five minutes embracing the cold sheets before realizing you were too scared to sleep alone.

You felt so embarrassed. Back home, you were able to tell one of your girlfriends to sleep in the same bed- yet share a respectable distance.

Shivers went down your spine. You had to suck it up, just for one night.

Before you could let your thoughts wander any deeper, you felt the bed dip and a faint smell of cologne. “I can see you shiver every time there’s movement outside. Is this okay? Are you uncomfortable?” Luke was spooning you— he draped his hand over your waist, pulling you closer to him.

You could cry, really, and the last few hours emphasized feelings for this boy that you didn’t know were already there. You felt your entire body get hot, yet all tension left it at the same time. You eased into his touch, pushing your head further into the pillows which resulted to his in your neck. You swore there were tears welling in your eyes.

“Yeah, very comfortable. Thanks.” you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

He didn’t break his position. “We’re in a really intimate position right now, so I feel like there’s no other time to bring this up, but, I really want to get to know you better. I really like you,” the blonde chuckled.

“I do too, Luke. I would love to spend more time with you.”

You swore you were dreaming. You were all alone a few minutes ago, and now you’re sleeping in Luke’s bed— with him.

You felt his fingers move to your side, the digits playing and fidgeting with your exposed skin. He untucked his head from your neck, instead moving your hair over your shoulder and kissing along the space he created.

Heat immediately erupted all over your body. God, it’s been so long— too long— since you’ve been touched.

You melt into him, arching and breathing heavy. He sits up, leaving you both on your side, but to get easier access to your body.

Luke continues suckling on your neck, making noticeable marks no doubt. He nips at your ear, creating marks down your jaw. The blonde continues his suckling for a while, going back and licking at each of the marks before flipping you on your back.

You both can barely see each other, Luke flicks on the lamp next to his bed yet it’s still so dark you can only see his prominent features.

His face is flushed, lips parted and puffed, hair disheveled. So much like when you opened the door to ask for clothes an hour or two ago.

You’re sure you look similar— you feel heat course throughout your body and you’re incredibly needy for him and his touch.

He reaches forward after admiring you for a good while. “Can I take this off?” Tugging at your shirt.

“Yes.”

You practically cry out, you didn’t want to seem too touch deprived— but damn was this getting you.

He pulls up your shirt and admires your beauty. He looks like he’s starving and you’re the only meal in the room. “God help me,” he mumbles.

You chuckle, but it’s cut off quickly as he reaches down to start toying with your breasts. “Mm, such pretty tits all for me. Right? Just f’me?” You gasped, you weren’t expecting dirty talk this soon, but it was working. You were soaking your panties, you’re so sure the patch can be seen through his boxers.

“Mm, yes baby,” you moan. You were always loud in bed with each experience you’ve had. Most of the guys didn’t like it, so you tried to keep quiet this time.

Luke did the unexpected, bringing his mouth down to suck along your breast, keeping attention on the other as well. You closed your eyes, lost in bliss as he slightly nibbled your nipple. You cried out, glaring down at him just to see him already glaring up at you.

He switched, doing the same exact thing to the opposite breasts. It was going to be a long night and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t looking forward to it.

“How wet are you?” He murmurs as he glides down your body, peppering kisses until he meets the waistband of your—his—boxers.

You’re taken aback by the question, “what?”

“How wet did you get for me?” He repeated.

“Um, I want you,” you blushed.

He chuckled, “I know you do baby, but that wasn’t my question. I want you to tell me how wet you are. Can you feel it?”

“Yes, I can feel it Luke.” You want to break eye contact, but it feels impossible, the way he’s looking at you is addicting.

“Describe it to me. How does it feel?” He continues.

You moan, “I can feel it soaking my panties, Luke. It’s gushing out of me and I’m sure you’ll be able to see it through your boxers. I need it, please, I need you so bad.”

His lips part a good amount. He looks even hungrier than before, and you can tell your words tested him. The blonde wasn’t expecting you to be so— descriptive.

“Fucking christ, well let’s see then?” He sits back on his knees as you arch up for him, wanting him to see that you want him to see.

You were right, you’re absolutely soaked through and the wet patch is even bigger than you both expected. Luke sighed heavily.

“Looks like you’re right peach. Fucking drenched. You’re incredible.” You gave him innocent eyes when you looked up at him.

Boldness hit you. You wanted to say something, but debated saying it because you didn’t know if he would be into it or not. Taking a chance, you reply,

“Are you going to clean up my mess, sir?”

What were once oceanic blue orbs turned to navy, all you could sense was lust. Luke wasted no time. Ripping off his boxers and your panties in one go.

He lay flat on his stomach before diving right into your core. You slammed the palm of your hand onto your mouth, moaning right into it.

Right away, he rips your hand off your mouth and puts it into his hair. You tug at his locks. The strokes if his tongue were going back and forth between your entrance and clit. You glanced down at him and it was the biggest mistake, his glare towards you was enough to make your head fall right back to where it was on the pillow as your eyes rolled back.

He sucks your sensitive nub into his mouth, and it’s impossible to not hear the slurping. You’ve never felt pleasure like this before, in fact, you think this is the first time someones ever gone down on you. You bite your lip to surprise your moans, but it barely works.

Luke switches up, his mouth going down to push into and lap up at your core, cleaning up all the arousal that’s pooling out of you. He brings his fingers into the mix, thumbing at your clit and rubbing circles so roughly.

He continues his assault on your pussy in the most euphoric way. He sits up, his fingers still pumping inside of you.

“Baby, thinking about all the things Im going to do to you when you’re mine.. G’nna fuck this tight little pussy so good, so hard..”

You groan, “Please baby. Tell me how, tell me.”

“Mmm. Fuck you messy n’ tired. Take you from behind, slowly, and feel you up, kissin down your back. Or I’ll have you so good that you cum so much it hurts, but you still ask for more.”

He puts his mouth back on you and you cum right then and there. It’s such bliss you don’t understand how someone could ever make you feel like this. Flashes of white flash behind your eyes and you can’t tell if it’s lightning filling the room or just your aftershocks of the orgasm.

Luke is still going, lapping up your cum that leaks out of you. You’re hand that’s raked in his hair starts tugging, telling him to stop. He pulls back, coming up immediately to kiss you.

“That was incredible, thank you. I’ve never felt that before,” you compliment. He gives you a lazy smile.

You notice his erection against your leg as you sit up. “Let me take care of you?”

“Mmm, we both need sleep love. In the morning? Wake me up with it.” He smirks. Your face heats up again.

The boy pulls his shirt back over you, turning off the lamp and tucks you both into your covers.

Before you fall into a deep and comfortable sleep as Luke is rubbing your back, you think of what has just happened and smile to yourself. This event will play back in your head forever, and you can’t help but hope everything that’s happened with Luke will continue to evolve.

You hear and feel his quiet breathes, and you realize you’re not sure if you can ever sleep without him during thunderstorms again.

208 notes · View notes

ughkat · 1 year ago

Text

crush | c.t.h

part two

part one here

{ probably gonna turn this into a series so be patient for a part 3! }

cal x fem!reader

fluff?, kissing, drinking

not proofread

"You should text Cal."...

I sat still in my bed, looking at my screen in confusion at Ashton's text. My brain unbelievably pieced together his distant attitude being tied to an attraction towards me. I furrowed my eyebrows and bit the inside of my cheek with doubt. There was no way he had a crush on me. I would know, right?

I hesitantly exited my messages with Ashton, scrolling to mine with Calum. Looking at my screen aimlessly, my thumbs shifted over the empty text box, thinking of something to say. I didn't want to scare him off, so I started simple.

"Hey"

I typed slowly, pressing send with shaky hands. I knew my nervousness wasn't stemmed from talking Calum himself, but more of finding out the full truth from him personally. Three dots appeared quickly, making my leg bounce with anxiety.

"Hi"

He responded flatly. I sighed at his dry tone. I knew his stubbornness would aide for an inconclusive conversation, so I decided to jump right in.

"What did Ashton mean before he ended the stream?" I sent the text hesitant, trying my best to sound nonchalant.

"Idk what you're talking about lol.".

His pathetic attempt at minor gaslighting me failed, I continued to push.

"Yes you do. Correct me if I'm wrong but he said you're mad at me because you love me?"

"Of course I love you. We all love you, you're my best friend."

I tossed my head back in frustration, rethinking my own suspicions. I realized I wasn't going to get what I wanted from him through a text, so I tried something else.

"Can we hangout tomorrow, just us? I feel like we need it."

I typed genuinely, knowing if he was telling the truth, he'd oblige. As the two of us hanging out alone used to be a common occurrence.

"You have work tomorrow."

He tried to think of a get away.

"I get off at 6. I'll see you after?"

I typed, giving him almost no choice but to see me. I watched patiently has I was left on read for a few minutes before Calum replied.

"I'm bringing drinks."

I smirked at his usual sass and need for a substance to calm his obvious.

" :) see you tomorrow."

I replied before switching my phone off and setting it beside me. I couldn't help but let butterflies slowly fill my stomach at the thought of myself making Calum flustered. For years, though I always found him attractive and had an underlying physical draw to him, I never imagined him more than anything than a friend. But I started to wonder if that was because I wanted it that way, or because I thought it had to be that way.

I began to doubt my own feelings towards Calum as I stared blankly at my wall in front of me. I bit my cheek as I reminisced on past memories and emotions throughout the years with Calum. I realized I never gave the thought of Calum as more than a friend a chance only for the wellness of our friendship as a group.

I stopped my thoughts in their tracks, snapping out of my trance and reminding myself that Calum hadn't confirmed nor denied his attraction to me yet, and I still could have simply misheard Ashton over my phone speaker. I settled deeply into my bed, letting my eyes flutter shut as I reassured myself of the pros and cons of tomorrows plans.

The sounds of footsteps and the occasional phone ringing filled the silence around me as I sat in boredom at my job. I had 15 minutes left of my shift, and all I could think about was the boy I would be meeting with when I got home. I tapped a pen mindlessly on the desk in front of me, my hours going by quickly while I let my mind wander about Calum.

On the dot, 6:00 rolled around and I began packing my belongings into my bag to head out to my car. I reached for my phone on my way out of the doors to reveal a message from Calum.

"Let me know when you're home.".

I caught myself smiling at his straight words, tucking my phone back into my pocket. I hurried quickly to my car, tossing my bag into the passenger seat before pulling out into the road.

I scolded myself mentally during my drive for beginning to fantasize about the possibilities with Calum and I. A smile escaped my lips at the idea of hearing Ashton's words correctly, and Calum really liking me.

Arriving home, I quickly raced to my bedroom, changing out of my work clothes and into black pajama shorts and oversized t-shirt. Leaving my makeup how it was, I pulled my hair out of its ponytail, running my hands through the tangles as I made my way to my bed, opening my phone.

"I'm home"

I sent a simple text to Calum before laying out on my back across my bed, letting out a tired breath. I rolled my ankles lazily, taking in the comfort of my bed before a single ding rang from my phone.

"Omw."

I bounced my leg anxiously awaiting Calum's arrival. Suddenly, it was like I was meeting him for the first time. I began to do things I wouldn't before think twice about. I checked my appearance multiple times in the mirror, made my bed, and tidied up my room. All things that I never cared about the boys, including Calum, minding before.

A few quiet knock fell at my front door, making me jolt from my frantic fidgeting. I calmly made my way to the front door, opening it to reveal Calum carrying a single plastic grocery bag.

"I have drinks and snacks." He lifted the bag slightly, speaking with a half smile. I stepped to the side, inviting him in. Already, I could sense his tense energy. I led him to the couch, I felt my heartbeat pick up its pace at the feeling of him so close behind me.

We took our seats beside each other, Calum leaving an awkwardly large space between us.

"Beer?" Calum offered blankly, reaching for the 6 pack of beer. I shook my head, more focused on the subject matter on my mind.

"No, thanks.".

"Wanna watch a movie or something?" He asked, forcing a fake civil smile.

The two of us sat sharing a glance for a moment before I took the wheel impatiently.

"I know you're lying." I spoke, looking down at my hands. Calum turned his head towards me quickly.

"What?"

"You're lying." I repeated, looking at his with a frustrated smile, "I know what heard on that stream, Cal." I leaned deeper into the couch, watching Calum's eyes dart across the room. He let out a sigh, appearing to be trying to gather his words.

"What do you want me to say?" He muttered quietly, making eye contact loosely. I looked down to my hands before back up to him through my eyelashes cautiously, watching his anxious expression.

"Is it true?" I spoke almost at a whisper, picking at my thumbs anxiously. He looked at me slowly, swallowing a lump in his throat before speaking deeply.

"What if it is?" He shrugged gently. I let out a sigh at his small confession, relieved at his words, yet finding myself in another boat of confusion.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" I spoke, moving closer to him, feeling my energy being pulled towards his. He looked away as I got closer, becoming visually nervous. Looking back at me, he replied.

"I wanted to at first" He began, "But I kept ignoring it after some years. I was scared of what you'd say." He mumbled.

"And Ashton knew all this time" I continued, tilting my head. He looked down.

"Yeah, he thought you wouldn't feel the same either.".

We sat quietly in each others silence for a moment, sharing glances and collecting our thoughts. I felt myself warm up inside at the confessions coming from Calum, guiding my next few bold moves.

"Cal." I spoke with a smile, moving in closer. His head perked up quickly at my movements.

"Hm?" He muttered quietly.

"You should've told me sooner." I began softly.

"Why..?" He furrowed his eyebrows, his eyes darting to mine back and forth.

My eyes were stuck in a trance deeply into his sparking brown ones, and my mind took control. Without thinking, I leaned in quickly, pressing my lips to his passionately. He released a small gasp before swiftly closing his eyes, melting into the kiss as well. I pulled back quickly with semi wide eyes, looking at Calum nervously. His mouth was half agape, searching for his words. I watched his shocked expression and loss for words, instantly doubting my actions.

"I-." I started, looking down, "I'm sorry Cal, I do-" I was abruptly cut off by Calum pulling me in for another kiss, holding the side of my face with a gentle hand. I chill ran through me as our lips intertwined perfectly, making me melt under his touch. His mouth on mine was the deciding factor that I wanted every bit of Calum, in every way, all of the time.

He pulled away slowly, looking at me adoringly in the eyes. A smile escaped his lips, followed by us giggling in unison at our impulsive actions.

"Was that so hard?" I teased lightly, filled with joy at the breakthrough Calum had made.

"If I knew this was gonna' happen, I definitely would have told you sooner." He joked with a scoff. I giggled, leaning back into the couch with a sigh.

"Was this your plan the whole time?" He asked smugly, narrowing his eyes. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head.

"No, actually." I laughed, "I came into this blind. Didn't have a plan." I reached for a beer from the coffee table in front of us, cracking it open swiftly and taking a sip. Calum rolled his head back lazily on the couch before speaking.

"In all realness though, I really do like you," He began, "Like, a lot. And I have for a really long time." I began to confess slowly as he joined me with a drink.

"How long?" I asked genuinely, I turned to look at him as he continued.

"Ever since Ash started bringing you around, really. Truthfully, you're one of the most beautiful girls i've ever met, Y/n." He chuckled with embarrassment, looking down to his drink. I blushed uncontrollably at his words, mimicking his actions and looking down.

"Whatever." I giggled at his hyperbole of my description. How could someone as fit as Calum find me to be the most beautiful girl he's ever met?

"It's true." He urged, "Ever since I laid eyes on you, I wanted you to be mine." He spoke boldly. I turned to him with a serious expression, shocked by his words.

"Really?" I mumbled quietly. He nodded his head with a shy smile

An uncontrollable grin took over me, immediately noticing the change in energy. Calum seemed to be slowly resuming his usual self, only leaving me with one question. What now?

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alternateafterthought · 7 years ago

Text

Now and Forever

Calum Hood x Reader

Summary: Coming back home for Y/N was something she had tried to avoid for many years and finding love was something she didn’t expect… not when her one greatest love was who she was avoiding.

Warning: Smut, language

Word Count: 9,438

A/N: Okay… so I got a little crazy and just started writing. I was going for a short and sweet smut but… well this happened. Leave a comment or message me if you would like to be added to my tag list. Requests are open.

Y/N had not been back home in years, 7 to be exact. Having left to go to university and overseas to finish her study, where she fell in love with an English painter. For 4 years they lived in a tiny studio apartment together in Rome, and Florence, and Paris, and Belgium, and recently in London. And after 4 years, Y/N had called it quits.

Y/N didn’t know when, but if she had to guess, 10 months ago she stopped feeling happy with her current situation. Actually, she wasn’t happy with moving around and still moving forward with her life, she wasn’t feeling the love she once had with her painter anymore. And Y/N’s mother had taught her not to beat around the bush, not to hold onto someone or something so tightly that it hurts her more.

So here she was, at Sydney International Airport, her entire life packed into 2 massive suitcases and a handbag. Y/N was just happy to be back on home soil, the humid air a welcome to her exposed skin, the sun warming her, a thin layer of sweat slinging to her. She knew how to deal with the heat, even after nearly 5 years of living international Y/N’s skin still welcomed the Australian sun, the smell of the sea living in her hair.

“Y/N, over here.” A voice spoke over the crowd.

Y/N smiled and waved; “Hey dad.” She ran in for a hug.

“How have you been?” He asked as Y/N pulled away a little, fixing her handbag back up her shoulder.

“I’ve been good.” Y/N smiled. “But god have I missed this place.”

“Well it’s definitely missed you.” Y/N laughed a little as he dad kept talking. “It’s been quiet for 5 years now, with you and the boys leaving to follow your dreams, it’s been too quiet for all of us.”

“The boys don’t come home much?” Y/N asked, trying not to sound too invested into them.

“You’d be surprised how when children leave the nest and have a taste of freedom how quickly they don’t come back.” Y/N’s dad smiled knowingly at his only daughter.

“I called, and texted and wrote.” Y/N laughed as her dad took the cart with her bags as they started to walk out into the parking lot. “How many people my age write letters?”

“Sweetie, only you would write a handwritten letter every week to your mother and me so you didn’t accidently call when someone you were avoiding was visiting.” Her dad laughed as she punched his arm.

“I was not avoiding anyone.” Y/N laughed.

“Riiiight.” Her dad laughed loudly. “And the thought of the boys being home wouldn’t make you book the first flight out of here.”

“Of course not…” Y/N shrugged, smirking. “I’d go for a drive to Nan’s out in the country and see how she’s going.”

“You’re something else, Y/N. I’ll give you that.” Y/N’s dad smiled, wrapping his arm around his daughter as they finally reached the car.

“I’m awesome what are you talking about?” Y/N laughed as she got into the passenger seat of her dad’s jeep.

“Just get in the car.” Y/N’s dad rolled his eyes laughing. “Your mother is expecting you home for a long stay.”

“Johnny and Benji?” Y/N asked, turning in her seat.

“Well Benji is at school, you know he started 9th grade this year right?” He asked.

“I sent him a backpack, remember?” Y/N nodded as she watched her dad get into the driver’s seat.

“Oh right. He refuses to use any other bag for school.” He shook his head, thinking of it. “And where else would Johnny be?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Well I was praying he got himself a girlfriend by now and moved out of mums.” Y/N laughed. “But I guess you can’t pick and choose your kids.”

“Don’t I know it.” Y/N’s dad pulled out of the space, heading for the exit.

“I hate you.” Y/N laughed.

“Nah, you just hate I’m the only one who can keep up with you.” Y/N’s dad laughed. “But you better remember where you got it from.”

“I know where.” Y/N watched the passing cars. “Mum’s pretty good at keeping you in line too.”

Laughing loudly at her dad’s mocking shocked face, Y/N couldn’t help but watch the passing life around her. The beaches, the people, the heat, her family. She didn’t realise just how much she had missed everything as they finally pulled up into the driveway of her childhood home. She could see through a window, her mum practically running around the kitchen, no doubt food everywhere, covering every surface on the kitchen and dining.

Y/N saw the exact moment her mum spotted her, she had dropped something and screamed with joy. Mind you, Y/N screamed just as loud, throwing her handbag at her dad as she ran towards the door. Her mum had beat her to it, throwing the door open and wrapping her arms around her daughter, pulling her in tight as she began to cry.

“Mum, please don’t cry. Your gonna make me cry.” Y/N wiped at the few that had already started to fall.

“I can cry if I want. My daughter has finally come home after 5 long years.” She pulled back a little, setting her hands on Y/N’s cheeks. “You look beautiful. London agreed with you.”

“Not like home though.” Y/N smiled. “So, what have you cooked for me? I’m starving and I want to eat before I go pick Benji up.”

“You sure you want to? You just got home.” Her mum asked.

“I did promise the minute I got home, I was to pick Benji up no matter what.” Y/N smiled.

“Shit, who the fuck let you back in the country?” Asked a voice from the door.

“The same people who mixed up the babies and gave us you.” Y/N smirked at her older brother.

“You wish.” Johnny laughed as he pulled her into a bear hug.

“Eww, get off me. You’re all sweaty.” Y/N struggled to get out of her brothers hold. “What have you been doing?”

“Three guesses.” Johnny wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Packing your shit to move out of mum’s house?” Y/N mocked concentration. “I mean it’s definitely not getting laid because who would want you?”

“You’re such a brat.” Johnny reached for Y/N, tickling her.

“Hey, leave your sister alone and come help me with these bags.” Y/N’s dad called to Johnny.

“Why can’t she take her own crap inside?” Johnny asked, walking towards their dad anyway.

“Because they like me more.” Y/N laughed as her mum came to wrap an arm around her waist.

“That’s enough you two.” She spoke. “Now get those into Y/N’s room. We’ll be in the kitchen.” Walking into the never changing house, Y/N turned to her mum as she continued to speak. “So how long are you back for?”

“Um… I’m thinking about moving back actually.” Y/N smiled as they walked into the kitchen.

“Are you serious?” Her mum asked, hopeful.

“Yeah I’m missing home.” Y/N smiled. “So I figured I can travel whenever I want, but I would go looking for an apartment or something here.”

“You’ve stopped running then?” Her mum asked excited.

“Why is everyone asking if I’m running? What is there to run from?” Y/N asked confused.

“So you haven’t been running from Calum these past 5 years?” Johnny asked, walking in to the kitchen, their dad behind.

“Why would I be running from him?” Y/N asked a little more harshly then she’d have liked to.

Y/N watched as her parents looked at each other, questioningly. This just made her confused, why would she be running from Calum? Well, the more appropriate question would be, how did they figure out she was running from Calum.

“Well you have been in love with him since forever.” Johnny laughed as he jumped to sit on the counter.

“Are we talking about the same person?” Y/N asked.

“So she’s still in denial.” Johnny looked at their parents before picking up one of the chocolate chip cookies that sat on the counter next to him.

“Johnny, those are for your sister.” Y/N’s mum quickly changed the subject.

“Well it’s not like she’s going to eat them all. You made near 3 batches.” He said around a bite.

“So, what did you cook, sweetheart?” Dad asked mum, kissing her cheek.

“Y/N’s favorite.” Her mum smiled at her.

“Grandma’s friend chicken?” Y/N asked excited.

“Now that’s a welcome home or what?” Her dad asked.

“That depends… Grandpa’s Pie too?” Y/N asked.

“You can’t have Grandma’s fried chicken without Grandpa’s Pie.” Her mum smiled, touching her nose.

“Yes.” Y/N took her jacket off. “How can I help?”

“Which translates to, what can she eat?” Johnny laughed, getting down from the counter.

“Go sit down. I’ve done everything.” Her mum laughed. “You too love.” She leaned over and kissed her husband.

After Y/N sat down and caught up with her family and ate as much fried chicken and pie as her body would allow her to, she took her father’s jeep and drove the familiar streets of Sydney to her younger brother’s school. Y/N had not seen him in person since he was 9 and just starting 4th grade, and now he was 14 and she couldn’t wait to see him. Pulling up into the car park, she got out of the car and walked to the office to get him out of class.

When he was called out, she saw his feet dragged, the backpack she had sent him firmly on his back. He looked down at his feet before looking up and taking in the room before him. When he realised it was his big sister, Y/N, standing in front of him, his face picked up, a small yell leaving his lips as he ran and jumped into her arms.

“Y/N/N!” He wrapped his little arms around her neck.

“Hey buddy.” Y/N spun him around. “It’s so good to see you.”

“I thought you were never coming home.” Benji spoke into Y/N’s neck.

“Of course I was coming home. I had to see my little man didn’t i?” Y/N asked as Benji moved back a little.

Benji nodded as he laughed a little, placing his little hands on Y/N’s cheeks; “Can we go to the beach right now?”

“Not right now buddy.” Y/N laughed a little. “But it is Friday, so how about tomorrow, me and you spend the whole day at the beach?”

“That sounds fair.” Benji smiled.

Getting into the jeep, Y/N couldn’t help but stare at her little brother a bit, well not so little brother anymore.

“What?” He asked, fixing his hat.

“Nothing. You’ve just grown so much since I saw you late.” Y/N pulled out of the school. “Soon you won’t be my little brother anymore. I mean you’re almost taller than me now.”

“Well you haven’t seen me in what?” Benji shrugged. “5 years now.”

“Yeah, 5 years now.” Y/N echoed.

“You haven’t changed much though.” Benji looked at his sister, still the spitting imagine of what he remembers. “Except your hair.”

“I was always blonde.” Y/N touched her hair.

“Nah, when I saw you last, you had pink hair.” Benji smiled, thinking of the last picture he had of his sister.

“Oh yeah, I was right.” Y/N laughed.

“Did mum make friend chicken for you?” Benji asked.

“Yeah she did. She made enough for the entire street.” Y/N nodded.

“She’s been cooking since last night. I think she’s invited some people over tonight for you.” Benji watched Y/N’s face cringe.

“Why?” Y/N looked up.

“You’ve been gone for a while. She must want to convince everyone you really are back in town.” Benji laughed.

“I’m not some myth.” Y/N said.

“You might as well have been.” Benji looked to Y/N again.

“Well I’m home now.” Y/N smiled. “And I’m not going anywhere. Not for a long time.”

“What?” Benji asked.

“You wanna help me find an apartment next week? Because if I’m going to stay here, I need somewhere to live.” Y/N smiled.

“You’re really staying?” Benji asked, unsure.

“I’m really staying. If I go anywhere, you can come with me if you want.” Y/N reassured him.

Even after Y/N and Benji got back home, their mother was dancing around the kitchen, cooking up a storm. With a quick wave to them, she handed Benji a small plate of food before Y/N went into her room, finding that not one bit of it had changed in the time that she was away. But Y/N didn’t really stop to look around, instead climbing into bed and falling straight to sleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

When Y/N woke up, the sun no longer enveloped the room, but instead it was dark, a glow coming from out of her window. Y/N could tell before getting up that her parents had a bonfire light in the back yard, the smell of a bbq came up to her room on the second story of their house, the sound of people talking and laughing coming through her open windows. Y/N rolled onto her back, knowing she will need to get changed and go down and socialise when all she really wanted to do was roll over and go back to sleep.

“Mum wanted me to wake you like half an hour ago.” Benji spoke from the desk chair in Y/N’s room. “I figured you wouldn’t have wanted to go down anyway so I didn’t bother to wake you.”

“This is why I love you.” Y/N smiled at her little brother. “But we both know mum will be up any minute now. I should at least change my clothes.”

“I’ll wait outside.” Benji stood and walked to the door.

“Who’s out there?” Y/N asked.

She got her answer by a simple look from Benji. One that said ‘Everyone’. With a nod, Y/N stood from her bed, going through her suitcases to find something for the now cooler air that was sweeping through her windows. Considering it was still short weather of an Australian Summer, Y/N opted for jean shorts and a sweater, slipping into a pair of flats before moving her hair into a quick ponytail and moving out of her room.

“Hey sweetie, I was just coming to get you.” Y/N’s mum stood at the top of the stairs. “I sent Benji up here half an hour ago to get you. Everyone’s been waiting to see you.”

“Yeah, I heard.” Y/N smiled.

“Well, out ya come.” Her mum held out a hand. “Your Aunt and Uncle are here to see you. They want to say hello.”

“Fun.” Y/N faked enthusiasm that her mother chose to ignore.

Following her mother and Benji, Y/N saw that the back yard was full of people, her dad standing at the bbq with her uncle, and 3 other men as they laughed and drank beer. Her Aunt was standing in the kitchen with 3 other women who Y/N quickly recognised straight away.

“Y/N it’s so good to finally have you back home.” Y/N’s aunt wrapped her into a hug.

“Hey, how’ve you been?” Y/N asked stepping back.

“I’ve been good, but what about you? Living overseas and coming back to little ole Sydney.” She stepped back to stand with the other women.

“Well everyone comes back home someday right.” Y/N moved along to the next person.

“Hey sweetie, it’s so good to see you.” Liz Hemmings hugged Y/N.

“You too.” Y/N smiled, then hugged Karen Clifford. “Hello, how are ya?”

“Good. Good.” Karen smiled, kissing Y/N’s cheek.

“About time you came home.” Anne Marie Irwin wrapped her arms around Y/N. “Lauren was about ready to fly over to London and bring you back herself.”

“I was meant to visit earlier, I just…” Y/N breathed deeply shaking her head as she smiled and thought about her time away.

“Was in love.” Joy Hood smiled, moving to where Anne once stood.

“Yeah, I was in love.” Y/N smiled widely.

“He was a writer, right?” Joy asked, holding Y/N to her as they faced everyone.

“A painter actually.” Y/N nodded.

“How long were you with him?” Karen asked.

“4 years. And 5 countries.” Y/N smiled.

“5 countries?” Joy asked.

“We meet in Florence and lived there for a year. Then Rome, then Belgium, the Paris and finally London for 8 months.” Y/N listed her homes for the past 4 years.

“That would have been so amazing and romantic with a painter.” Anne swooned with the other girls.

“Oh god yes it was.” Y/N thought back to her time in Europe. “He was like… so intense you know.” Y/N smiled. “Like sometimes he’d go into like a trance and paint for days. Then on the 4th or 5th day he’d stop painting and like… worship me.” Every women in the room gave a jealous moan. “We’d just stay up all night talking and just… loving each other. He’d take me to breakfast, he cooked for me-“

“Okay stop, stop.” Karen laughed. “Your just teasing us now.”

“That was the point.” Y/N laughed with the others.

“So, why’d you come back home? And without this amazing man?” Liz asked.

“Um… We just fell out of love. Our lives going in 2 completely different ways.” Everyone giving an understandable nod. “I wasn’t going to drag him along if we were only going to end up hating each other.”

“That’s actually very grown up of you.” Liz smiled.

“Who would have thought Y/N would have grown into the most sensible out of all of our children.” Joy laughed, as they all remembered their children’s younger years.

“Well… I was bound to mature faster than any of the boys.” Y/N laughed. “That and I think we can all agree that I didn’t take as many hits to the head as any of the boys.”

The laughter that erupted caught the attention of the men out the back, all listening to the women inside laughing. Y/N’s father caught the sight of his only daughter, laughing with the women inside, she was home and she was safe, that’s all he could be thankful for.

It was later, everyone had eaten and were now sitting around the bonfire, talking and drinking. Y/N looked around and couldn’t be happier with where she was right now, having missed these nights. There was something still missing, but Y/N would never admit that to anyone, let alone herself.

“I’m going to get a drink. Anyone want one?” Y/N stood.

“Yes please.” Her mum said.

“Me too.”

“Yep.”

“I would.”

“Please.”

5 people raised a hand. With a nod, Y/N moved into the house and to the kitchen to get what she needed. Y/N could feel something, someone watching her, but she couldn’t see anyone around her. Sitting everything on the counter, she moved to the front door and opened it, seeing something she wasn’t expecting to.

Screaming at the top of her lungs, Y/N slammed the door on a screaming man’s face. She moved back a little too quickly for herself and tripped over, falling to the ground as the door swung open again, 4 people running towards her to help her up. Y/N saw everyone from the back run in to see what was happening, seeing Y/N laying on the floor, Calum Hood kneeling next to her body, Ashton, Michael and Luke leaning over top.

“Aw man.” Y/N reached up and punched Calum on the arm.

“Ow, seriously?” Calum asked.

“You scared the shit out of me asshole.” Y/N closed her eyes, holding her head.

“Well there’s no need to beat me up for that.” Calum moved his hands to touch the back of Y/N’s head. “Did you hit your head hard?”

“No…” Y/N moved Calum’s hands away. “I feel on my arse, not my head.”

“Well what’s the difference with you?” Michael smirked over Y/N.

Y/N didn’t answer, instead giving him a middle finger salute which he laughed at. Calum helped Y/N stand before she moved back to take a look at all of them.

“So…” Y/N was at a loss for words.

“How’ve you been?” Ashton asked.

“Good. Good. Yourself?” Y/N nodded.

“Yeah good.” Ashton nodded.

“We’ve been pretty busy lately.” Luke Smiled. “New album and all.”

“You guys finally have new music?” Y/N asked, knowing the 5sos fandom was on meltdown having not had anything new in way too long.

“Why are we acting like we don’t know you?” Michael asked, pulling Y/N into his body. “How’s it going you dork.”

“It’s good to be home.” Y/N hugged Michael tightly, glad he didn’t treat her any differently. “What about you though? You guys travel just as much as I do.”

“Yeah, but we haven’t been avoiding coming home for nearly 5 years.” Michael laughed as Luke came in for a hug.

“Holy shit…” Y/N laughed.

“What?” Luke asked confused.

“You got big.” Y/N looked up to him. “I mean look at these shoulders.” Y/N put her hands on his shoulders. “You must have girls falling at your feet now kid.”

“Your such an asshole.” Luke laughed, tucking hair behind his ear.

“Kid your hot. Own it.” Y/N laughed, slapping his arse before jumping into Ashton’s arms.

“How the heck are ya?” Ashton spun around with Y/N in his arms.

“I’m home. How do you think I am?” Y/N laughed as he put her down.

“Glad to be home.” Ashton kissed her forehead.

“So, how long are you home for?” Luke asked as Y/N stood beside him, sinking naturally under his arm.

“Um… I’m here to stay.” Y/N smiled up at him. “I got bored of London. I wanted the heat and the beach and my mum.” Y/N looked at her mum who stood with everyone else.

It was then that Y/N remembered Calum was behind her, having stood off to the side, hands tucked away deep in his pockets. He concentrated on his shoes, listening to everything, just like she remembered him. Calum had always been quiet, and after growing up together, Y/N knew that it was just Calum… until she caught a glimpse of his eyes and Y/N could tell exactly what he was thinking.

“Hey.” Y/N smiled to Calum.

“Hey.” He nodded.

It was quiet until; “Really? That’s all you two got to say to each other? ‘Hey’.”

Y/N turned and saw Mali standing at the open door. Ashton, Luke, Michael and Calum acted quickly, covering their ears as Y/N and Mali screamed and tackled each other to the ground. Each girl almost in tears having not seen each other in years, having felt like they lost a sister almost 5 years ago.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Mali whispered to Y/N.

“Running.” Y/N whispering back to Mali, knowing she was the only one who knew.

“Well if you do it again imma fuck you up.” Mali laughed.

“I’m surprisingly okay with that.” Y/N laughed.

“Y/N!” A voice screamed, Y/N seeing only a flash of colours jumping on her. “YOU’RE BACK!”

“Lauren… Look at you. You’ve grown so much.” Y/N laughed, moving to wrap her arms around Lauren.

“Okay, okay. Up you guys get.” Y/N’s mum started to help the girls up. “Y/N’s not going anywhere, you can talk to her all night if you want to.”

“Come on ladies. I think I owe you a drink.” Y/N pulled Mali and Lauren with her.

“Well looks like we won’t be seeing these girls for the next 12 hours.” Ashton laughed.

“Nah… something closer to 15 hours.” Luke walked past the girls as they stood at the bottom of the stairs.

“At least we know it won’t be 5 years.” Calum moved to the kitchen.

“More like 3 and a half years… right Cal.” Y/N raised an eyebrow as she walked up the stairs, leaving everyone confused.

Mali and Lauren moved behind Y/N quickly, even though the girls weren’t the same ages, they were sisters and protected each other and loved like sisters. No matter what they go through, no matter what they do or where they go. They’re sisters.

It was about 2am when Mali and Lauren were passed out, Y/N leaving them to sleep as she moved through the now quiet house. Y/N already knew where she was going, she knew what she was going to do… what she didn’t know was how the night was going to end.

Walking a block away from her own house, Y/N moved into a the darkness of another familiar house, moving down the side of the house to the back door. Y/N wasn’t surprised to see Calum sitting on the steps of the back door, cigarette lit as he waited to her. They didn’t move for a few moments, each of them watching the other closely, trying to decide if the other was really here.

“What’re you doing here?” Calum asked, sounding bored.

“I came to talk.” Y/N crossed her arms over her chest.

“You came to talk? Now?” Calum asked, checking his phone. “At 2am, you came to talk?”

“If I’d have shown up tomorrow morning with your parents or sister or the boys here, would you have talked to me?” Y/N raised an eyebrow. With Calum’s silence Y/N spoke; “Exactly. So let’s talk.”

“What’s there to say Y/N?” Calum spoke quickly. “I tell you I love you and run away on the first flight to god knows where. Doesn’t sound like there’s much to talk about.”

“It wasn’t like that.” Y/N sighed.

“Then what was it like?” Calum put his cigarette out. “If you didn’t love me back, that’s all you had to say. I didn’t need that stupid letter you wrote me. Or one night together to never see you again.” Calum walked down the 3 steps, standing face to face with the girl who broke both of their hearts.

“I-“

“I don’t want any excuses Y/N. I don’t need answers that are going to raise more questions for me.” Calum stepped a little closer to Y/N. “Just be completely honest with me.”

“I loved you then like I love you now.” Y/N said straight away, hearing Calum’s breath hitch. “I just couldn’t be with you.”

“And whys that?” Calum asked.

“I-“ Y/N cut herself off, breathing deeply. “I was pregnant.”

“What?” Calum stepped back a little.

“The day you told me you loved me, was the day I found out I was pregnant.” Y/N looked at the space between them. “I was 17, I was scared. So I booked the first flight out of Sydney to my Aunt over in Italy. I was going to have the baby and never come back.”

“So… you have a child somewhere in the world?” Calum asked, a little shocked.

“No I don’t.” Y/N looked almost broken then. “3 months in, I had a miscarriage.” Calum moved closer to Y/N, pushing his hands deep into the pockets of his sweat pants so he didn’t touch her. “But I was so ashamed of just running out on you that I never came back. I finished school there and then I meet him.”

“So when I found you, you lead me on.” Calum accused Y/N.

“No… I just… I wanted to feel loved by a man I loved back. Even for just one night.” Y/N bared her soul. “But I was so scared and ashamed of everything that I felt I didn’t deserve you, no matter how much I loved you.”

“That was never your decision to make alone.” Calum spoke softly. “That’s something we should have decided together.”

Y/N looked into Calum’s soft eyes, a small smile playing on his lips. She had missed this, being around Calum, but after everything she had done, she felt she didn’t deserve to be. So why was she still here?

She was still standing there because she could still feel the ghost of what Calum had left her with before. The memory of his hands on her skin, burning to the touch, how his lips kissed every inch of her body, caressed the places she needed him to be. Y/N was, for the first time in her life, screamed in her head to be selfish and to take what she wanted. But she needed something, which would drive her selfishness, a sign that if she took what she wanted, she was never going to run again.

“Fuck.” Calum whispered, taking a small step back.

Y/N was a little confused, hurt even, until she watched Calum move his hand, fixing what was an impressive bulge in his pants. She smirked then, finding what she needed in that moment for her to reach out her hand and pull Calum closer to her own body, feeling his harsh breath brush against her face.

“God I missed you.” Calum whispered as his hands gripped Y/N’s waist, pulling her right against his warm body.

Y/N’s hands wrapped themselves into Calum’s thick hair, pulling at it slightly as she bought her lips up to meet his own in a familiar kiss. For a fraction of a second, Calum’s lips softly caressed Y/N’s, before he claimed hers in a fierce kiss, opening her mouth for him, allowing their tongues to meet. A deep grown came from the back of Calum’s throat as she walked him back to the step, breaking the kiss only slightly as he sat back down, pulling Y/N on top to straddle him.

Calum’s large hands moved down her body, coming down to cup her ass, bringing her up higher to sit just where he needed her. Y/N’s hands moved down his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart, perfectly in tune with her own racing heart as they continued a heated rushed kiss. Calum moved his hips, pushing his clothed cock against Y/N’s pussy, ripping an inhuman noise from Y/N’s lips. She moved back a little, resting her forehead on Calum’s, trying to catch watch little breath was around them in that moment.

“We cant.” Y/N moved her hands to his hair again. “I have your sister and Lauren at my house and I promised Benji that we’d hand out tomorrow. I can’t change my plans with him.”

“Okay…” Calum moved back, taking deep breathes. “Okay that’s understandable.”

“But I won’t leave you like this.” Y/N’s hands travelled down Calum’s body, reaching his sweat pants. “Just let me do this for you.”

“Here? Outside?” Calum raised an eyebrow at the women on top of him.

“We’ve already wasted enough time… so why bother going inside?” Y/N asked as her hand slipped into the front of his sweats.

Y/N gripped, well tried to, the base of Calum’s cock, moving her hand slowly to the tip as she climbed off of his lap and down to her knees. Y/N moved his sweats as his cock stood hard and free, with one look, she gripped him with both hands, running her thump over the slippery tip. Y/N’s eyes never once left Calum’s as she wrapped her lips around the tip of his cock, drawing out a groan from Calum as he intensely watched Y/N on her knees in front of him.

“Shit… fuck…” Calum breathed out, his hands pulling Y/N’s hair up to the top of her head, never obstructing from the view he had.

Y/N’s eyes watched as Calum’s grew darker as she moved his cock, running her tongue from his balls to the tip, opening her mouth to take in as much as she could. Calum hit the back of her throat as she gagged slightly, one hand holding the base of his cock the other moving to cup his balls.

Calum thrusted on instinct then, causing Y/N’s eyes to slightly water, she could feel spit drip down her chin. Calum moved on his own now, Y/N moaning around his in her mouth as he cursed her name and moaned.

“I’m gonna cum.” Calum breathed out.

Y/N pushed Calum’s hips down, moving back to the top before deep throating his entire cock. After the fourth bob of her head, Calum’s hand gripped her hair tightly, pushing her down as he came. Y/N had braced herself, as spurt after spurt of cum hit the back of her throat before she moved back, gulping in as much air as her lungs would allow her as spit and cum trailed down her jaw and chest.

Calum took a moment to catch his breath before putting himself back into his pants and walking inside quickly to grab paper towel as he came back to take care of Y/N. They were quiet, the loudest thing being the wind as Calum handed Y/N paper towel to clean herself up before looking back up to Calum.

He didn’t have to think about it, not even what just happen was going to stop him, and he moved his hand to Y/N’s chin, lifting her head to look as him as he kissed her, softly on the mouth. This time it was soft and was going nowhere and yet it meant more to both of them then any before.

“I’ll walk you home.” Calum murmured against Y/N’s lips.

“You don’t have to.” She smiled.

“I know I don’t have to. But I want to.” Calum intertwined their hands. “I’m not letting you go this time. Not ever.”

Standing out of the front Y/N’s house, Calum pulled her back into his body, kissing her softly.

“Can I see you tomorrow?” Calum whispered.

“I’m hanging out with Benji all day.” Y/N smiled.

“Let me take you to dinner then. Just me and you.” Calum looked into her eyes.

“Dinner? I’d love that.” Y/N kissed his lips again. “But we can’t let anyone know.” Calum looked hurt, but Y/N continued. “I want you all to myself for a little while.”

“That sounds fair.” Calum Kissed Y/N’s nose lightly. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” Y/N laughed as she ran around her house to the back door to sneak back into her house and up to her room where Mali and Lauren were still peacefully asleep.

For the entire day, nothing or no one could ruin Y/N’s day. The smile on her face seemed to be permanently etched on her lips, and no one questioned it, thinking she was just glad to be home. The only person who knew what was really going on was Calum, who had been impatient about seeing Y/N all day, but had happily given her the time with her family.

At around 2 in the afternoon, Y/N got a text from Calum to meet him at his place, which could only mean one thing… Calum asked Joy to cook. And she could smell it. The food wafting out of every open window as Y/N stood in front of Calum’s house, knocking twice before she heard heavy footsteps running to answer the door. The smile on both their faces matched as Calum opened the door, staring at each other as time slowed to a stop.

“Hey.” Y/N smiled.

“Hey.” Calum moved back a little. “Come in.”

Smiling, Y/N took his outstretched hand, as they made their way to the kitchen. Y/N was nervous. The last time they had eaten anything together, Y/N had been left at the restaurant, alone, confused and ready to run. Now, here they were standing in the Hood family’s dining room, Calum pulling out a chair for Y/N to sit down.

“Thank you.” She smiled as she sat.

“You’re welcome.” Calum kissed her cheek lightly before moving to the kitchen to grab 2 plates. “I had mum make up this before she went out.”

“I figured as much.” Y/N laughed lightly. “Last I remember you burn water.”

“Hey!” Calum sat a plate in front of her. “I can actually cook now.”

“Just not steak and potatoes?” Y/N looked at the plate then to Calum’s red face.

“Okay, I’m still learning.” He laughed a little, scratching the back of his neck.

“Well it looks amazing.” Y/N smiled. “I’ll have to thank your mum when I see her next.” She laughed a little. “Speaking of, where are your parents?”

“I asked them if I could have the house for a few hours.” Calum watched Y/N cut a piece of steak, watching as her lips wrapped around the meat, her tongue catching a bit of gravy that drips down her lips. “I said I wanted to hang out with you like old times. So I treated them to dinner.”

“Well, that’s very generous of you.” Y/N moaned around the piece of meat in her mouth. “This is so good.”

A hushed silence fell over the two as they started to eat, the echo of metal forks hitting the plate the only sound. They had been here once before and it didn’t end well, no doubt both of them thinking about it, the air having a touch of unease hanging over them.

“This is awkward for you, isn’t it?” Calum stated it more than asking a question. “Is it me?”

“What? No. no, this is perfect.” Y/N shook her head. “You’re perfect.” Y/N looked into Calum’s rich brown eyes, thinking of the earth after it’s rained. “I just don’t want to mess this up… not again.”

“Believe me. You won’t.” Calum smiled, moving to stand in front of Y/N. “No matter what, I’m holding onto you this time.”

“Second door on the left right?” Y/N asked a confused Calum as she stood, walking to the hall. “You’re bedroom?”

“Yeah.” Calum nodded, eyes darkening.

“Well, come on then. Second door on the left.”

Y/N and Calum stumbled into his room, their lips moving in time with their hands ripping at each other’s clothes. The glow of a street light out the front of the house was their only source of light as clothes started to be thrown around the room, the cool air caressing Y/N’s heated skin as Calum lay her on the bed.

“God, I missed you.” Calum hovered over Y/N’s exposed body, moving the strap over her bra down her arm to expose her breast.

“Touch me.” Y/N moaned.

Calum’s warm mouth enclosed around Y/N’s hard nipple as he pulled his jeans off his own body, never leaving direct contact with her skin.

“This isn’t going to be slow.” Calum looked up to Y/N, dragging her panties down her thigh slowly.

“I need-“ Y/N cut herself off. “Please.”

“God yes.” Calum confirmed, tossing her panties away and unclipping her bra and discarding it just as quickly.

Calum leaned down again, sucking on Y/N’s nipple again, causing her to moan, her hands dug into his hair, pulling at it. As he threw her bra off, his hot mouth transferred to her other nipple, showing it just as much attention as the other as her nails moved across Calum’s scalp.

“Condom.” Y/N whispered.

Calum moved off her a little, reaching into his top draw of one of his bed side tables, sitting a box on the table before grabbing one of them. Ripping it open, Y/N took it from him, sitting up against the headboard.

“Lay down.” Y/N smiled, moving around him.

Calum’s slightly laboured breath passed Y/N’s ear as he lay down, taking the spot she once lay. Straddling his waist, Y/N gripped him, swiping her thumb over the tip as he jerked forward before she rolled the condom on. Shuffling up a little, Y/N sat closer to where she needed to be, but she had to ask first.

“Are you sure?” Her doubt getting the best of her.

“Yes. I want you. Now and forever.” Calum’s soft voice reached her ears.

Smiling at him, Y/N took Calum’s cock in her hand, rubbing him against her wet pussy a few times as he thrusted forward, needing to be inside her as much as she needed him. Slowly, Y/N moved up a little before lining him up perfect for her to let him enter her. Taking him all the way to the hilt, Calum cursed as Y/N let out a moan, throwing her head back, eyes closed. Calum’s hands gripped Y/N’s waist, his fingertips digging into her skin as she moved slightly to get comfortable, adjusting to his impressive size.

“Oh god.” Y/N groaned. “God…”

“Are you okay?” Calum asked as he bit his lip, trying not to move.

“Yeah. Yeah I’m perfect.” Y/N laughed a little. “I just forgot how big you were.”

Y/N took a few deep breaths, leaning forward a little to get comfortable. Calum watched carefully, not wanting to hurt Y/N in any way, watching for any sign to pull out at any moment.

“Please fuck me.” Y/N looked into Calum’s eyes, giving him the nod to go for it.

Calum’s grip on Y/N became feral as he slowly eased out of her and thrust deep within her, causing a small scream to fall out of Y/N’s mouth. With every pounding thrust, Y/N cried out in pleasure, never missing a beat as she pushed down against him to meet every thrust. Calum never once slowed down his quick pace, his eyes never leaving the beautiful women on top of him, head thrown back, hair falling around her, moans and cries leaving her lips as he pounded into her.

“Oh my god… I’m gonna cum.” Y/N moved her hands to lean forward on Calum. “Shit, your gonna make me cum.”

“Same.” Calum could just hiss out as he hit deep inside of Y/N.

Y/N came then, Calum hitting the perfect spot within her, never slowing as he watched her come completely undone on top of him. As Y/N started to shake with bliss, Calum reached his own orgasm, holding Y/N to his sweaty body as they both tried to catch their breath.

Listening as Calum’s heartbeat came to a slow steady pace, Y/N finally moved to remove Calum from inside of her still, rolling off of him to the side. She closed her eyes and breath softly, feeling Calum move off the bed and then running water before coming back. When Y/N opened her eyes again, Calum was getting into bed again, moving as close as he could, pulling Y/N in and wrapping a blanket around them both. It was then, it the quiet and bliss, that Y/N drift off to sleep.

Y/N woke up a few hours later, rolling over to see it was 1am, to use the bathroom and get a glass of water. She had gone out to the kitchen in one of Calum’s shirts and a pair of his boxers to get a glass of water when she saw that they had forgotten to clean up their dinner after they only ate half of it. Not being one to leave the mess, Y/N started to clean the table down, before starting to wash the dishes.

She heard his soft footfalls, moving towards the kitchen. She didn’t have to turn to see he was only in a pair of sweats, or that he was rubbing his eyes as he walked to towards her. Calum’s warm hands came to sit on her hips, moving his body to press against Y/N’s, as his lips kissed the shell of her ear.

“You don’t have to do this.” Calum whispered, moving his hand under her shirt, his fingers splaying across her stomach.

“I can’t just leave it here for your mother to clean.” Y/N smiled, pulling the plug out to drain the water. “I don’t mind.”

“Well, I should at least say thank you for that.” Calum moved his hands down into the waistband of the boxers she wore, easing his middle finger inside of Y/N.

Jerking backwards, Y/N moved closer to Calum’s body, her ass hitting Calum’s semi hard dick; “Oh god.” Y/N breathed deeply.

“Will you let me say thank you?” Calum’s thumb brushed against her clit, trailing his fingers down her cunt, massaging her inner walls.

“Oh God… yes.” Y/N’s head moved back to lean against his bare shoulder.

Y/N’s hands gripped the edge of the sink, her knuckles white as Calum’s other hand moved up to cup her breast. Calum buried his fingers deep within Y/N, moving faster as Y/N gripped his wrist, keeping his hand where she needed him, his lips moved against her neck. Y/N started to breath heavily, writhing against Calum’s hand. Y/N’s eyes were closed, head thrown back as she moaned loudly, Calum’s fingers moving quicker.

“Cum on my hand. I got ya.” Calum whispered.

Biting her lip, Y/N’s body shuddered, trying not to scream as her orgasm pulsed through her body. Calum moving his hand to rub her clit fast and hard as she withered, her hands moving from the sink to grip Calum’s thighs, her body hitting the edge of the sink as Calum pushed her forward.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Y/N breathed out.

Calum kicked Y/N’s legs apart, moving her to lean down as she heard something ripping. She could tell what it was as she positioned herself to lean back over the sink, still trying to breath normally. Calum pushed the boxer she wore down, which now sat at her ankles, his own following suit at his ankles.

“I’m gonna need you to be very quiet.” Calum whispered.

“Mmmh.” Y/N moaned as she felt his cock move against her. “So big.” She whispered as he pushed forward down to the hilt.

Calum’s hands gripped Y/N’s waist, pulling her back to meet his thrust. He didn’t give her time to adjust to his size, but she didn’t need it as she pushed back against him, moaning as her head fell forward. Y/N could only hear two things, Calum’s skin slapping against her own and the deep groans falling from Calum’s lips, trying her hardest to not make any noise.

Y/N felt completely filled by Calum, driving in and out, in and out of her, taking her to delirious pleasure.

“Yes. Yes. Yes.” Y/N chanted quietly. “Please. God yes.”

Calum was hitting her sweet spot, repeatedly and without pause, almost ripping her next orgasm out of her soul. Calum place his hand over Y/N’s mouth to quieten her as she withered through her second orgasm. Calum whispered something, his voice deeper than ever before as he started to cum, his cock throbbing inside of Y/N. He stayed buried, deep in Y/N’s warm pussy as they both breathed deeply, trying to catch any air they could.

Y/N almost collapsed against the sink, but Calum was quicker and held his arm around her, pulling her to him. Calum pulled out of Y/N, turning her around to lean against the sink as he took of the condom before wrapping his arms around Y/N again. Calum moved lazily, pulling his own boxers up and then Y/N’s before kissing her nose, and then her lips as she leaned into Calum breathing normally now.

“Are you okay?” Calum asked Y/N.

“Perfect.” She looked up to meet Calum’s eyes. “But I think we should go to bed now.”

“Let’s go then.” Calum smirked before lifting Y/N up bridal style.

“Calum…” She giggled as he started to walk to his room.

“You know I’ve been thinking…” Calum spoke as he sat Y/N on the bed. “I should probably look into getting my own place here.”

“You could do that.” Y/N moved over as Calum kneeled on the bed. “It’s the smart thing to do.”

“It’s also a place I can have you again, and again, and again, and again.” Calum moved over top of Y/N, kissing her lightly. “And you’re looking to get your own place anyway.”

“Calum Hood…” Y/N ran her fingers through Calum’s hair. “Are you asking me to move in with you?”

“After 5 years, why wait? I want to start forever with you now.” Calum smiled.

“I’d love to.” Y/N leaned up and kissed Calum lightly.

“I think it’s time you went back to sleep.” Calum laughed a little as Y/N yawned. “Goodnight.” Calum kiss Y/N as he lay down next to her.

“Goodnight, Cal.” Y/N cuddled into Calum’s warmth.

Calum had woken up about 5 minutes ago, having been to the bathroom and back into bed, not yet wanting to leave their bubble. He knew the exact moment Y/N woke up, her body moving closer to his own, no doubt looking for extra warmth to go back to sleep.

“Good morning.” Calum whispered.

Y/N groaned, saying something unintelligible before rolling over, pulling the blanket over her head as she moved to lie on Calum’s chest. Calum laughed a little, the vibrations moving through a sleepy Y/N.

“Don’t you look beautiful in the morning.” Calum laughed a little.

“Of course.” Y/N moved the blanket to rest under her chin. “Doesn’t every women?”

“Yep, that troll hair and drool are what every man wants to see in the morning.” Calum kissed her forehead.

“Any woman that looks perfect waking up has been up for at least an hour before a man wakes up to make herself look desirable.” Y/N peaked through the lids of her eyes, blinking to let little by little sunlight in.

“Well aren’t I lucky to be waking up with you.” Calum smiled, kissing Y/N’s nose.

“You are really smooth this morning. You know that?” Y/N laughed a little.

“I’m always smooth.” Calum laughed.

“Uh huh.” Y/N laughed, lying on her back. “Cause I believe that.”

“Hey,” Calum rolled to move on top of Y/N. “You’re still here aren’t you?”

“Oh shut up.” Y/N laughed.

“Mmmh.” Calum moved down Y/N’s naked body. “Make me.”

Calum’s lips soft kissed his way down Y/N’s breast, removing the shirt that was covering her body, sucking on her nipples softly before moving down, trailing the boxers she wore down her legs before he ended up between her legs. Y/N moan softly, her hands subconsciously moved to wrap into Calum’s hair, her eyes falling shut once again as Calum kissed his way to her pussy.

Calum slipped a finger into Y/N’s pussy, seeing if she was just as ready for him as he was for her. Feeling she was wet, his moved his mouth down to suck on her clit, drawing another moan from her lips. Calum moved his finger slowly at first, slowly gaining momentum as Y/N’s moans became louder, tongue fucking her now.

It surprised Y/N more than it should have, tightening her thighs around Calum’s head; “Fuck, you’re making me cum.”

Calum latched onto Y/N’s clit, his fingers moving faster inside Y/N as he kept her on her high, before slowing as she started to shake. Giving one last kiss to her clit, Calum made his way back up Y/N’s body, finally looking her in the eyes.

“Good morning.” He said again.

“Good morning.” Y/N breathed out.

Y/N reached her hand up, pulling Calum down to kiss her on the mouth, tasting herself on his tongue.

“I have to admit.” Y/N giggled. “I’ve never been woken up quiet like that before.”

“Well, you better get used to it.” Calum smirked. “That’ll be the best way I wake you up for the rest of our lives.”

Y/N laughed loudly then, Calum joining her as he kissed her again, softly at first, then again and again. Calum couldn’t get enough, and from the sounds Y/N made, he knew she couldn’t either, touching and kissing and caressing. She moved her hips up, pressing her cunt against Calum’s cloth hard cock, almost begging him to get inside of her.

Calum reached over to his bedside table again, ripping the foil off and quickly throwing his own boxers somewhere into his room. Making sure the condom was on, he leaned back over Y/N’s body, ghosting his fingertips up her thighs, over her hips, between her breast to cup her face. Bringing his own lips down to kiss Y/N sweetly before he slid slowly and purposely into the warmth of Y/N’s pussy.

Leaning down to kiss Y/N a little harder, Calum started to lazily move his hips, kissing down to her breast. Y/N moaned, running her hands through Calum’s hair as their hips started to meet each other. Calum sat up onto his knees as he quickened his pace, Y/N moving her hands to grip his headboard above her head.

“Harder. Please.” Y/N groaned desperately moving her hips. “More.”

Calum started to pound into Y/N, one of his hands held a feral grip on her waist, the other moving to rub her clit harshly. They weren’t even trying to be quiet anymore, Calum rocking into Y/N enough to make the headboard hit the wall. Y/N moaned loudly, a deep groan building in Calum’s chest as his skin slapped hers, hitting her sweet spot again and again.

“Oh my god,” Y/N moaned as Calum leaned down, attaching his lips to hers, moving her legs up as he harshly pounded into her. “Harder. Harder.”

Calum moved at a feral pace, his head falling into Y/N’s neck as she bit into his shoulder to keep her from screaming. She could hardly concentrate, only just hearing Calum muttering what sounded like some type of prayer to Y/N as he continued to move inside of her.

“You’re gonna make me cum.” Y/N cried. “Oh my god, I’m cumming.” Y/N cried as her orgasm ripped through her.

“Fuck.” Calum swore, emptying himself into the condom. “Fuck. Shit.” Calum thrusted once, twice before coming to a stop.

Calum fell to lay completely over Y/N, lazily kissing her neck as Y/N moaned lightly. Y/N could feel Calum still inside of her, neither of them in any hurry to move, loving the feel of how close they were.

“I never knew I could be a morning person.” Y/N laughed, causing Calum to laugh with her.

“Well get used to it.” Calum kissed Y/N softly before pulling out of her completely. “Because you are stuck with me from now on.”

“God I hope so.” Y/N leaned up to kiss him before he rolled off of her, standing and stretching before disposing of the used condom.

He turned to look at Y/N, holding a hand out to her.

“Come on. Let’s go have a shower.” Y/N raised an eyebrow. “Just to shower. I want to take you out for breakfast.”

“Okay then.” Y/N let Calum help her up.

An hour later, Y/N and Calum moved quietly down the hall, hoping not to wake his parents so they could go out to eat. They thought they were safe as they reached the living room.

“So… how was your night?” A voice caused Y/N and Calum to jump.

Turning, they saw Michael, Luke and Ashton sitting at the table, eating breakfast with Calum’s father and sister, his mother in the kitchen. Each person had a different expression on their face, from a smirk to a smile and a raised eyebrow in disgust. Y/N wanted to be angry, but one look at Calum’s face of horror as he realised his mother was still in the house and awake, having no doubt heard them, he wanted to die on the stop.

Y/N turned her body into Calum’s and let out a loud laugh, Luke, Michael and Ashton joining her. Calum wrapped an arm around her laughing body, giving a nervous laughed to his father, avoiding his mother’s eye at all cost.

“So, did you two want breakfast?” Joy asked, trying her hardest not to start laughing.

“We’re leaving.” Calum announced, pulling Y/N behind him.

“Okay then. Have a great day.” Joy yelled after them.

“We are never going to live this down.” Calum opened the passenger car door for Y/N.

“Nope, not a chance in hell will we.” She kissed him lightly.

“Do you think mum heard us this morning?” Calum asked Y/N.

“What do you think?” She motioned behind him back to the house.

At the window the boys stood, making provocative assumptions to them both, laughing loudly. Joy could be seen in the kitchen, laughing just as loudly with Calum’s father and sister.

“Oh god.” Calum looked up. “Just kill me now.”

“Hey…” Y/N slapped his chest. “They’re all gonna have to deal with us for the rest of our lives. Now and forever.”

“Now and forever.” Calum kissed Y/N lightly before moving to the driver’s seat.

Y/N had found love years ago, it just took her a few years, 7 to be exact, to keep it. Even through every bump in the road, she would always find her way back to him. This was it, she knew as they drove down the street, as Calum moved his hand to intertwine their finger, bringing it up to plant a kiss on the back of her palm. Y/N was done running, and even if she did run, she knew and could count on Calum chasing after her and bringing her back home. Now and forever.

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lovesosweeet · 1 year ago

Text

better left unsaid // cth

chapter forty three

in which orion has leukemia, and calum doesn’t know.

calum hood x fem!oc

read other chapters

november 22, 2018 san diego, california orion

A tiny body flopping on top of me wakes me up. It’s accompanied by happy squeals, and I recognize the weight digging into me with child-sized bony knees and elbows as Eri.

“Eri! I told you! You have to knock!” Em yells after him, entering the room with her hand shielding her eyes. “Please tell me I don’t need to cover my eyes right now!”

I laugh, hearing Cal’s quiet chuckles into my hair behind me. I’m still decked out in a full sweatsuit and Calum is wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt while he’s wrapped around me. The thought of doing something intimate with him last night hadn’t even crossed my mind. I was too shocked and happy to simply be in his presence to think about that.

“We are fully clothed, Em,” I announce, peeking over the fluffy comforter at my brother, who is smiling wickedly, a construction paper headband with a turkey on it falling off his head.

“Happy Thanksgiving!” Eri shrieks far too close to my ear.

“Happy Thanksgiving,” Calum and I mumble in sync.

I’d slept soundly last night for the first time in forever and actually feel rested this morning. I’m not in a bad mood whatsoever, but this wake up call isn’t my favorite.

“Eri, do you and Em want to go get everything out and ready to go for cinnamon rolls? Cal and I will be down in a minute to help you,” I say, hoping to get Eri off of us and out of the room for a few moments.

“Yeah! We can help, Emi!” Eri exclaims before he clambers off the bed to the doorway, grabbing Emelia’s hand to drag her out of the room. Em closes the door behind her.

As I flip over to face Calum, his arm that’s draped over my waist tightens as I move. I sling my leg to hook over his and reach my hand up to cup his somewhat stubbly cheek. He’s sleepily smiling at me, his eyes droopy and smile faint. I feel my heart nearly fly away as it soars. Being back in this proximity to Calum, on good terms, feels better than I could’ve imagined.

“Morning,” I say, immediately crashing my lips to his, completely unfazed by the likelihood of morning breath.

He presses his body into mine, diminishing any sliver of air that was between us. His hand that was around my waist trails down, moving swiftly over my spine, lightly caressing my ass, and then stopping at my thigh that he squeezes. His lips move slowly against mine, pulling away to smile widely before he presses repeated, quick pecks against my mouth that send me into a fit of giggles.

“Good morning,” he finally says back, his brown eyes staring into my soul.

When I start to think about how nice it is to wake up next to him again, my eyes get teary. I’ve cried so much lately that I don’t want to cry now and ruin the moment, so I sniff and kiss Calum one more time while I try to make my eyes as dry as they should be.

“I believe chef Orion was requested in the kitchen,” Cal mutters against my lips and his thumb traces circles on my thigh. Even through my sweatpants, it gives me goosebumps.

I pull back so he can see me roll my eyes. “Fine, I won’t kiss you after we’ve spent all that time apart. Guess you didn’t miss me.”

I pray that my joke lands and I didn’t just mess everything up.

Calum’s laughter fills the room, though, so I know I’m in the clear. “I missed you more than anything, baby.” He kisses me again, and then he throws the blankets off our bodies, exposing us to the colder air in the bedroom.

I groan loudly and curse him silently.

Calum gets out of bed swiftly and then scoops my frail body into his arms before I can stop him. We’re running down the stairs seconds later, our combined laughter and thudding footsteps surely wake up my moms if they weren’t already awake. When we get to the kitchen, they’re both already there, Mama helping Eri reach something from a tall upper cabinet and Emelia and Mom drinking mimosas and pointing at some piece of paper that I think is a recipe for something.

“Here she is, Eri!” Mama exclaims excitedly, her eyebrows dancing as she wiggles them at me.

“We have to make cinnamon rolls!” Eri demands. He has our old wooden rolling pin that belonged to our bisabuela before she passed away a few years ago. It’s now a mandatory tool to make our annual Thanksgiving Day cinnamon rolls.

Calum sets me down finally, right next to Emelia, who’s already pouring two more mimosas for Calum and me.

“Don’t worry, E, I know we have to make cinnamon rolls. I do it every year.”

When I was younger, we’d just bought the canned Pillsbury cinnamon rolls at the store and ate those for breakfast every Thanksgiving. But, when I was a junior in high school, I started baking as a hobby and decided to try making them from scratch. Ever since then, I have had to make them from scratch for Thanksgiving because everyone else in the family would never forgive me if I didn’t.

Emelia hands me my mimosa and I take a sip from it before I assess the state of the kitchen, trying to figure out what I need to do next. It looks like almost everything I need is out on the counters, including the laminated recipe card I made last year.

Eri and I make the cinnamon rolls — his main job is helping me mix everything, which he still manages to make a very messy activity — while my moms get Emelia and Calum to help them with veggie chopping for dinner later. While the cinnamon rolls bake in the oven, I hear our front door open and voices flood the foyer. It’s my abuelo, my tío, and cousins. My tía had to work today despite the holiday, but she will probably come over later on if she can.

Once the other kids are here, Eri abandons his job in the kitchen, leaving it to just adults, which makes the whole thing feel far less chaotic. When my abuelo walks in, he simply lights up when he sees Calum.

“Calum!” He nearly yells with surprise. “I didn’t think you’d be here today!”

Cal looks to me with a smug smile before he walks to my abuelo to hug him. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be, Abuelo.”

After he hugs Calum, he hugs me. “La mejor sorpresa, mi estrella,” Abuelo whispers to me. “¿No lo sueltes otra vez, bien?”

“Nunca,” I whisper back to him, my eyes focused on Calum who’s smiling at me still.

My family catches up with Calum while I drink a mimosa that’s far more champagne than it is orange juice. I’ve mixed together the frosting for the rolls already and have cleaned up most of the mess caused by baking them from scratch with the help from Emelia.

As I look around the room, full of people I love, it washes over me. This could be my last Thanksgiving. I could never bake cinnamon rolls again. What if this is my last holiday ever? Will I even make it to Christmas? What will this look like next year without me, or the year after? Will our traditions continue on without me?

I don’t know if I want things to stay the same for everyone or for them all to completely change.

I realize I’ve zoned out when the timer on the oven goes off and Emelia waves an oven mitt in front of my face. I thank her before I take it and the other one from its place on the counter and shut off the oven.

Eri runs in the room at full speed. “Are they ready?”

I sigh. “They have to cool off, bud.”

He pouts.

“I promise I’ll come get you when they’re done and you can pick the first one.”

—

Hours later, we’re all outside around the table with full plate and mugs of mulled wine in front of the adults and hot chocolate in front of the kids.

“Okay, you know the deal. One thing you’re thankful for and the best part of your year,” Mama calls out to everyone. She’s at the head of the table, with Mom at the other end. Abuelo, my cousins, and Eri are on one side of the table, and then Emelia, my tío and Calum are on the other with myself.

I knew this was coming, but I hadn’t really thought about it and now I have no idea how I’ll answer. My year was quite shitty. Thankful isn’t a word I’d use to describe any of my feelings right now.

Abuelo goes first and says he’s thankful for the chance to be here with us all today and the best part of his year was watching Eri graduate from kindergarten. My cousins talk about their vacation to Florida and Eri talks about hanging out with Duke and Calum as his highlights. Mama says she’s thankful for family and her favorite part of the year was last night when Cal, Em and I were all here together with Eri. She said it was like having all her baby birds back in the nest.

“I’m thankful to have a chance to spend time with my second family,” Emelia says. “And the best part of my year was probably when we got to celebrate Macy being cancer free.” I try to smile at her from two seats down but I’m sure the attempt isn’t believable.

Calum is next, and he squeezes my hand under the table before he speaks. “The best part of my year was probably our tour send off party. So many of my favorite people gathered in our home in celebration of the tour,” he says and then he turns to me. “I’m most thankful for another day to spend with the love of my life.”

It’s my turn. I should have more than bad things to say about my year. Cancer and the breakup have only been a few months worth of misery, but they feel all consuming. I try to hold back the bad parts and give the good ones a moment to shine.

“I think the best part was celebrating Macy being cancer free, and I’m thankful that I get to be here with all of you today.” I don’t make eye contact with anyone while I say it, I stare down at the pattern on the antique china that we only use for holiday dinners.

I study the pattern of florals while tío Ramón and my mom share their answers. I feel Cal’s eyes trained on me the whole time, and I’m fairly confident that he knows I’m trying not to be upset right now.

I manage to make it through dinner without crying, but I don’t eat much. Calum sneakily takes the food from my plate that he knows I won’t eat and I’m glad he’s here to do it so no one can yell at me for not eating. My appetite is basically nonexistent. The mimosas from this morning and red wine from the dinner wear me down quickly, and my brain is warm and hazy by the time Calum and I curl up on the couch to watch football with Emelia.

A stampede of tiny feet run into the living room with shrill laughter filling the air, and the little ones throw themselves onto the couch. I barely avoid the sharp elbows that Eri flings about while he flops on top of me for the second time today.

“Woah, bud!” Cal says, pulling my body closer to his so I’m not pinned down by my brother. “Let’s be more careful when you body slam someone. You could hurt them.”

“Cal! Come play hide and seek with us!” Eri pleads.

Emelia and Calum speak simultaneously in response.

“Okay, bud, just for a little,” Cal says.

“Eri, Calum hasn’t seen your sister in months. I’ll come play with you,” Emelia offers.

Emelia stands up quickly and runs away, making the kids all chase her to whichever room she’s gone to steer them away from us. There she goes again, being the best friend I don’t deserve. I’m grateful for the chance to be alone with Calum again.

“What’s on your mind, O?” Cal asks when everyone is out of earshot.

I debate brushing off the question or saying something totally different than what’s really on my mind, but I decide I’ve lied enough to Calum. He’s here because he wants to be here despite the bad shit that’s going on, so I have to tell the truth.

I feel tears welling in my eyes before I look up to meet his gaze. “What if this is my last Thanksgiving?”

Calum’s face falls, but he tries to keep his expression neutral. He fails. I could see the sadness in his eyes from a mile away.

“I don’t want you to think like that,” he says. “I know that you can’t help it and you will think like that, but honestly, my love, I’m really just happy we get to be together today.”

He’s right. I think back to just yesterday when I was crying in bed because I missed him. Now he’s here and things are fine between us. Yesterday I was terrified that he wouldn’t want to come back to me if I called but today he’s here and he loves me and wants to put it all behind us.

The thing is, we can put our problems behind us, but the cancer has to stay right where it is. At the center of my life, and now, at the center of Calum’s.

I’ve been silently mulling things over in my head for too long, I realize, because Cal starts talking again.

“Do you think everyone would be up for a beach sunset? If we leave in the next twenty minutes or so, we should be able to catch it.”

I look up at him with still teary eyes, a small smile already forming on my lips. This. This is what I’ve needed. Calum by my side making things better in ways I couldn’t even come up with on my own. Somehow he always knows what to say.

“Everyone’s been drinking a bit, do you think we’ll be able to get there?” I’m also uncertain of whether or not we should go through the hassle of rounding everyone up and getting them ready for the beach.

“I’ve only had a couple of mimosas this morning, so I can drive one car. And then I think Ramón hasn’t had much to drink either since he’s gotta drive home tonight too. If you want to go, even if it’s just us, we should go.”

“I don’t know, I don’t want to ruin anyone else’s plans,” I say, now avoiding looking Cal in the eyes.

He’s not having it. He presses a kiss onto my forehead before he gets up and runs outside.

“Gloria! Do you think we can get everyone rounded up to go to the beach in the next 15 minutes?!” I hear him yell, and I just shake my head.

I’ve missed him so much.

20 minutes later, we’re all crammed into Emelia’s SUV and Ramón’s van, driving to the closest beach access. Calum boosts the mood even more by playing the High School Musical soundtrack and sings into an empty Coke bottle like it’s a microphone. Emelia and my moms in the backseat sing along with him and I find myself smiling like a fool.

If this is my last Thanksgiving, I’m spending it with my family and I’m laughing, and I decide that’s as much as I can ask for. I don’t know what I could do to make it better than to not be sick.

Emelia and I are sipping red wine from a thermos on the beach, sharing a blanket with Calum while the rest of the family splashes in the water, the hems of their pants getting wet but none of them seem to mind. I grab my phone from my pocket and pull it out, holding it in front of me on selfie mode. Em and Cal lean their heads in and smile for the picture. Emelia then rips it from my hands and leans away from me, making me pose with Calum for a picture of just the two of us.

There’s some kind of weight that lifts from my heart as I look at the picture of the two of us smiling at the beach, together again at last. The sun shines golden on us and Em caught some of the pink and orange sky in the background.

I don’t know what comes over me, and it probably has to do with the copious amounts of wine I’ve had today, but I open the Instagram app and switch my profile to public. My follower count climbs instantly as all of the people who’ve requested to follow me become followers by default.

I don’t even edit the pictures before I’m making them into a carousel post.

I refresh my notifications and watch them flood in, fan accounts immediately commenting profanities of shock and excitement.

“Holy shit,” Emelia breathes from beside me. She watched me make the post, but now she’s refreshing the post too, watching the notifications pour in in real time.

I look over and find Calum just grinning at me.

“What?” I ask, laughing slightly.

“I’m just really proud of you. I know you’ve been scared to do that for as long as I’ve known you.”

I roll my eyes and lean over to kiss his cheek, but when I go to settle back comfortably on the blanket, he grabs the back of my neck and kisses me on the lips, his grin pressing against mine.

—

@orion.seraphina: never had a love so strong and true ‘til i met these two. through the best and the worst. i could say more but i’ll shut up now bc you’re literally right next to me. ilysm @emeliabodelia and the loml @calumhood <3

p.s. hi world. welcome to my stagram! if ur mean i will block u!!!!! have fun creepin!

Comments:

@emeliabodelia: oh my god i love you so much @cashtongirlie: OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING HOLY SHIT @macylacy: ORION WHST IS GOAING ON @5sosstan5ever: WHAT THE HELL ORION WENT PUBLIC SND THEYRE BACK TOGETHER @iloveketchup: i never thought the day would come that we could see a post from orion?! @orilumstan: I AM CRYING SOBBING THROWING UP BAWLING MY EYES OUT SCREAMING CONVULSING @malikoa: the sweetest thing i’ve ever seen! i love you!!!! @cakegirlie: ????? is this real life????????? @lukehemmings: so happy for you, o! miss you! <;3 @ashtonirwin: <3 three of my favorite humans @paulagarza: felicidades, bella!!! te echo de menos @5sosupdates: I SWEAR INMISSED A CHAPTER WHAT @calumhood: my angel, by your side is my favorite place. <3 te amo. @calumismybf: THIS HURTS BUT IM HAPPY FOR YOU