#gonna start Gong posting

[percys-lemons]

RIP daevid allen you would’ve loved dress to impress

[marsneedstherapy]

the end of an era :(

[typingwithmyhandstied]

The one thing that is hard about this (I'm writing up my ideas for a FLF hunger games au) is the fact that everyone is related or connected in some manner. Like I can't split up families between districts it makes no sense! And I have to have Rosalind and Orion be from the same district and Juliette would have to be in that one too. This is why I would like to apologize with the fact that in my concepts for this Roma and Juliette will never have met and maybe never even been mentioned-

[alexiroflife]

Hello! May I request an angsty toji fic where reader finds out she's pregnant (post megumi) and she knows toji doesn't want anymore children so she just kinda leaves with little to no explanation? Maybe just a small note saying things aren't working out. It's up to you if it will be a hurt/comfort. Idk you don't have to do this request I don't want to overload you! I seriously love your writing. The way you right the character just warms my heart. I especially love ur hiding an Injury fic it was SO SO SO GOOD. 🩶🤍🖤

“promise”

toji fushiguro x reader

Synopsis: see above

to sum it up: you think it’s better to run away than to be the one to get hurt

WC: 5,668

Warning(s): angst, suggestive themes, yelling, pregnancy, mentions of abortion

You stare down at the plastic tube clutched in your trembling hands in awe, eyes blown with shocked grief as you peer closer to get a better look, as though those two bright pink lines could have been a trick of your vision.

Unfortunately, however, your vision remains just as crystal clear as it always has been. As you stand in your cramped apartment bathroom, illuminated by a flickering fluorescent gaze shining down from above, horror befalls you.

You’re pregnant.

You should have known sooner when you began feeling queasy every morning, taking trips to either your or Toji’s toilet to hurl out the contents of whatever swam inside your stomach. You always tried to be silent if Toji was around, for he slept like a dog that could not be woken even if a meteor struck earth, and you had been remarkably exhausted. You aren’t even sure if there is a word to describe how sluggish your entire mind and body had been feeling, but you wanted to rule out the very obvious answer to your problems before exploring it.

You begin to panic, your heart pounding in your ears and throat and every inch of your body you could feel the pulse, eyes blurry over the positive test. You’re conflicted. You don’t know how to feel. On the one hand, you would have been jumping for joy to learn that you are starting a new life with your boyfriend, to step into a new chapter of your lives and to provide his children with another sibling.

But hell, the celebration is far too naive and implausible to be had. The sage eyed man has told you time and time again that he does not wish to have anymore kids, that the ones he has are enough and he is not equipped financially or mentally to care for another brat. In honor of those wishes, you’re on the pill, and consequently, Toji has taken the opportunity to plow his load inside of you time after time after time.

And you really, truly should have known that with Toji’s uniquely abled body, what was meant to serve as a barrier and a means of contraception did not work.

You feel like throwing up. What would Toji say? What would he do? What are you supposed to do? Should you tell him, fill him in on what’s going on to risk rejection and abandonment, a nasty habit that Toji had to work to rid himself of when he met you? Would he even care? Would he listen?

You know Toji to be a very tough man, despite the softened interior he attempts to hide in others’ company that is only displayed for you and for his kids. If he has always been adamant about one thing, it’s been to never have kids again, to focus on where he fucked up before and to pour his attention into the little family he’s grown, the one that he has now.

His voice echoes through your head like the gong of a church bell striking upon the ear’s of a sinner.

“Hell, I already got my hands full tryna get Megumi through his teenage years. What the hell is another child gonna do for us?”

“That shit’s fuckin’ expensive. Not to mention, I’d have to baby proof the house again. That’s another expense.”

“If I was capable of givin’ you y’er own, I would, doll. But I ain’t cut out for it. You know that.”

You don’t even know why he would stress the matter so often. You suppose he’s caught the way your eyes linger on a mother tossing their giggling baby up and down into the air, innocent pools of joy beaming down at her each time it reaches the air and lands in her secure hold. Or maybe he’s seen the way you care so deeply for Toji’s kids as though they are your own, despite telling you when you first got involved with each other that he did not expect you to step into their lives in anyway - and yet, you have done that and more. You know how the kids must struggle each day with the trauma of losing their mother so early on, and you never wanted them to think that you were trying to step in as her replacement, but you love them so clearly, as much as you love the man who created them.

Which leads you to your next concern. How would the kids react?

It’s one thing for you, as their father’s girlfriend, to wander into their lives and help navigate them their teenage hood alongside the dark haired man, but to introduce an entire other child only leaves a sour taste in your mouth.

They may be crushed. They me turn to hate you, to despise how you have contaminated the life they have worked so hard to rebuild after numerous tragedies. And would Toji agree with them? Would he turn his nose up to you, that scowl of his melting over his harsh features as he shuns you just as he shunned every other woman who came after his wife and before you. Would he leave you? Would he kick you out of the world that has become your own because you failed to live up to your promise, though it technically isn’t your fault that you are pregnant now but it feels as though it is?

You can not stand the thought, of the man you love turning his once loving gaze stone upon the sight of you, of him pushing you further away, permanently, in the same manner that he tried to when he realized that he was falling in love with you, of watching Megumi and Tsumiki turn their backs to you as though the past four years of your lives had never happened, banning you from their acceptance forever more.

Tears well in your gaze, interfering with your vision. This can not be happening, you think to yourself, everything has been going so well, and now this? This is going to ruin your relationship with Toji for good. Even if you were not in a committed relationship with him, you assume that the idea of any woman getting impregnated by Toji would have been thrown away. You would be thrown away, just like all the others who gave Toji their bodies but not their hearts.

Not the way you have.

Your heart clenches thinking of just how much you love Toji and the kids, of how you would be willing to lay down your own life for the sake of them as Toji swears that he would for you all in return. Even so, despite the commitment to you that a man who swore never to be committed to accustomed, this would be going too far.

…You’re not even sure if he would love you anymore.

Now that you’re pregnant with his child, a child he never meant to have with you, you assume you will mean nothing to him any longer. In his eyes, you will simply become the slut that he took a chance on by a whim, carrying something he would never call his own. You believe the old Toji will resurface, the one who claimed not to care, the one who shoved women out of his bedroom before the sun rose in the sky, the one who often failed to remember to pick his kids up from school, the one who would no longer meet you at eye level but look down upon you, frown upon you for being so clumsy.

You know Toji is the one who did this, but this still feels like it is your doing. Like somehow, you trapped him and he now has no choice but to break free from the steel cage you have barred around him with your conception.

Your fingers clutch over the plastic, your eyes scrunching closed to release a fresh set of tears that cascade over your cheeks and onto the test. You can feel yourself mourning your relationship already, you can feel it slipping through your fingers, see it fading in the distance until it becomes nothing but a bittersweet memory that you can not determine as reality or a figment of your imagination any longer.

You tilt your head, bringing the test to your forehead as you think, grieve, cry. You mull over your options; you could hide this from Toji, get an abortion and never think of it again or you could tell Toji and lose him forever.

You open your bleary eyes, lashes decked with dewy tears, as another idea dawns upon you. You could leave, leave before Toji and the kids have a chance to leave you.

It’s a cruel thought, you think, especially abandoning those children without any proper explanation for them, but what else are you meant to do? You’d be doing them all a favor if anything by taking your leave without them having to be plagued by the knowledge of your unplanned pregnancy, of what they may view as a scheme to destroy their family in your new baby’s wake.

The thought kills you to even entertain. You had promised those kids that you weren’t going anywhere, that you’d stay with them for as long as they allowed you… but this is different. This is not what any of you had in your cards, how you believed your futures to go. Toji wants simplicity at home while he works through chaos through his occupation. He wants security, warmth, safety for you, Megumi, Tsumiki, and no one else. He would never welcome another child. You believe he’d be caught dead before approving of your pregnancy.

And therefore, you know what you have to do.

After taking a few more tests to ensure that the readings are accurate, which they are, you pledge to walk away. You pledge to leave the only man you’ve ever truly loved, the strongest family you’ve known, and the slim possibility that despite Toji’s wishes, he may accept you.

But you don’t want to take that chance and risk the humiliation and unplanned heartbreak. You’d much rather take matters into your own hands, and plan the shattering of your soul yourself.

You don’t sleep all night, for you’re too busy drafting about twenty different letters to Toji. Crumpled loosleaf paper litters the floor beside your bed as you try to think of how to best write down everything you want to say. You go through pages and pages until you are finally satisfied with the result, and the next morning, you slip the envelope into his mail slot and prepare to pack your life away.

It is late Sunday morning when Toji rises from his slumber. The first thing he does is lean over the sheets and drape his arm toward his nightstand to read your daily good morning text - only he finds there isn’t one. With pinched brows, he takes his phone to unlock it and visit your contact. Nothing.

The time reads 12:35 pm. Normally, you’re up and at it or even banging down his door by then to wake him. Maybe you’re just sleeping in?

He goes to give your cell a call, but nothing. Not only that, but your phone is also on do not disturb mode. His gut immediately swells with the suspicion that something is wrong. The dark haired assassin supposes he’s going to pay you a visit this afternoon as soon as he checks on the kids to ensure that they are alright.

His bedroom door opens with a creak, and he calls out to the teens gruffly through a yawn. When they don’t respond, he’s truly growing concerned.

He rounds the corner to prepare to head for their rooms when he finds Tsumiki and Megumi at the dining table. His brows furrow, his pace slowing as he takes in their faces. Tsumiki’s lips are pressed together tightly and the muscles in her face are scrunched as though she is about to cry, while Megumi stares ahead with empty eyes and a hardened exterior.

Toji frowns with quirked brows, approaching his kids. “What’s wrong with you two?”

His brunette daughter looks up at him with glassy eyes and wrinkled chin, lashes fluttering while Megumi does not bother to look at his father. Instead, he brings Toji’s attention to a torn envelope and a thick packet of papers pressed beneath the sixteen year old’s palm. Wordlessly, Megumi slides it toward him, brows slanting.

Toji, perplexed, looks between the papers and his children’s troubled faces. What is this letter? Overdue taxes? An eviction notice? That can’t be possible, because you had ensured that Toji and the kids’ place was secure long ago.

He crunches the papers in his hands and picks them up to read. The first thing that catches his eye is your scribbling handwriting, and the following words that send his heart plummeting to his ass:

This isn’t working out.

Toji whips his head up, baffled, and when he meets Megumi’s gaze again, his eyes are ablaze with resentment.

“What the hell did you do?” he growls.

The green eyed man is not even thinking before he’s dialing Shiu’s number, asking him to watch the kids for the next hour or so, and running out of the apartment after throwing rather unconvincing words of assurance over his shoulder to his kids, who are still with disbelief - Tsumiki with devastation and Megumi with rage, for surely his father pushed you away.

Toji does not bother finding a ride, electing to run to your place which is only a few blocks away. You two were just discussing moving in with one another, combining households, and this is what you spring onto him? Not even for him to stumble across first, but his kids who look up to you and love you like their own mother?

Oh, he’s fuming, a rush of emotions taking over his mind as it fuels his speed. The letter you wrote is still crunched in his fist, whipping through the air as he makes his way to you.

Dear Toji,

This is not working out.

But before you rampage and get angry with me, please let me explain. Let me explain how much I love you, how much those kids mean to me, and how every day I wake up I want to be greeted by all of your smiling faces. For the rest of time, forever. You are undoubtedly the only man for me, and I truly believe that. I know you may think I’m bullshitting because of how the beginning of this letter contradicts what im saying now, but it’s true. I have never loved another person the way I love you, and while it scared me at first when you were so stubborn and full of anger that you misdirected onto me, I stayed and I waited and I helped you and I’ve loved you through every single moment, ever week, every month, and every year. You brought purpose back into my life, and I can picture you scoffing because you’d say the same, but I mean it. You, Tsumiki, and Megumi are the best things that have ever happened to me. I love you all so much.

But in this case, that love is not enough.

I hate to be doing this to you, to the kids, but I have no other choice. Things aren’t going the way they used to, and it’s not your fault but mine. I’m the reason. And it is tearing me apart to know that and simultaneously know what I have to do in order to keep you and the kids happy. Stable. I wish I could explain to you more why I am doing this, but I can’t. Not just because I am dying to picture you reading this, but because I truly can not say. I do not want to ruin you guys’ image of me. While I think that’s a selfish thing to say because who knows how me leaving is going to hurt you all, you would not understand even if you knew the reason behind this.

By the time you are done reading this, I will be gone. I’m going away because as long as I am not with you all, I can’t stay here anymore. I am staying with my mother while I get my travel plans arranged, because I know how you worry when you do not know where I am or if im safe. I should be gone by Friday.

Please do not come see me. I have made my decision, and you will only be hurting us more by trying to stop me. I won’t be stopped.

Kiss and hug and apologize to Megumi and Tsumiki for me. I hope you find someone who fills the role of their mother, someone who knows how Megumi likes to do his homework in the silence of his room with no music or anything, completely isolated so he can focus. Someone who knows how to fix Tsumiki’s eggs properly - to add extra butter to the sides when you fry them so the edges get crispier. Someone who won’t try to feed Gumi’a demidogs because he hates when people assume they can coddle up to them upon first introduction. Someone who cares for the wholly the way I do and always will.

And you. I know how stubborn you are. I know how angry you probably are at me right now, and I will miss that about you, but please do not let that interfere with the possibility of falling in love again. Beneath the layers of grit, standoffishness, and indifference, you are a man with a big heart. For me. For your kids. For those you love and seek to protect.

You say you aren’t a good man, and while that may be true to you, you are an amazing partner and you’ve already become an amazing parent. I’ve seen you grow, and I am so in love with you and so proud of you. I know you’ll be okay without me. It maybe take some time, but you’ll adjust to what’s best. I promise.

With all the love that could possibly be harbored in this world, you are everything to me and that is why I have to go. I wish you every happiness this planet can offer you, and I know that without me, you can begin to find joy again.

Love,

Your doll

You had believed to time this perfectly, for you know that Toji usually does not wake until one, so soon as you are finishing up packing, you are trudging down the stairs to the leasing office to inform them that you will be moving.

You push open the door to the first floor, the breeze hitting you gently, and you round the corner only to be blocked by the last person you wanted to run into during this time.

Your eyes widen as you look up, the burly figure you have grown oh so familiar with over the years heaving as though enraged, ivy eyes crowding over slim pupils as Toji glares down at you, an image of indescribable fury.

Your heart drops and your words die in your throat. “T-Toji?” you whisper, horrified of an outburst. You are rattled by fear, having been so unprepared to walk into this. You did not put it past him to chase you down. But you figured that you’d be at your parents by the time he woke. Then, you could have at least told them to tell him off at the door.

But no. Instead, here he is, six feet and then some of bulking mass as he takes quick, deep breaths that expand the entirety of his chest.

You shift. “What are you doing here-“

“What the fuck is this?”

Toji swiftly, yet aggressively, lifts the papers in his hands, now damaged by his travels and his grip, shaking it firmly with the question. You gulp, lowering your eyes.

“Toji, I told you not to come…”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” he swears firmly, and you jump, looking to see if anyone is around to hear you, as the two of you are standing outside your complex.

“We shouldn’t be- let’s just go inside,” you go to grab his arm, but he tears it away. He stares at you as though you have burned him, singed the heart in his chest from the inside out, and he is so unforgiving. So unforgiving before he hears directly from your mouth what this is about.

“I’m not doin’ shit until you tell me what the fuck this is, (Y/n),” he demands, his hand moving the papers about passionately with his speech, and you feel your heart hammering again. This is not how things were supposed to go. You are not supposed to be seeing him right now. “Cause I refuse- I fuckin’ refuse to believe that you’re breaking up with me.”

Your eyes gloss over as you look down at your feet, unsure of what to do or how to handle this confrontation. You can’t do this. You can’t, it’s too much. It’s too hard.

“…I am,” you mumble.

Toji steps forward, leaning down to get a peek of your face, his expression so angry that it worries you. “What?”

“I said… I am.”

“Uh uh, you better say that shit with your chest if you can write a whole damn letter about it,” he growls, fucking further as you continue to turn away. “Look at me,” he barks, and you cringe.

“Toji, don’t yell at me!” you shout back.

“What else do’ya want me to do, huh?” he throws his hands up. “How else do you expect me to react to this bullshit?! You’re leavin’ me? After everythin’ we been through, after everythin’ you and the kids’ve been through, you’re leavin? Are you fuckin’ serious?”

He takes a swift glance at the papers, the very sight sending him into a spiral, before he’s heatedly looking back down at you.

“I don’t buy this shit for one second. No. You’re not leavin’. Not in this world, or the next.”

“I am, Toji, the quicker you accept that, the easier it’ll be for everyone!”

“Easy?” he winces as though the prospect pains him. “You call this shit easy? You call up and tryin’ to abandon me easy? You call the kids waking up to your letter and reading it at the table before I saw it easy?”

Your face falls. “…what?”

“Yeah. You fuckin’ heard me,” he sneers. “Megumi and Tsumiki read this shit first. First thing in the morning, they see a letter about how the woman they love is leavin’ ‘em, just like their mom did, and for what?”

You close your eyes, his words stinging you as they cut through. “Don’t say that.”

“Why not? It’s true, ain’t it? Y’er leavin’ us, (Y/n), and you didn’t even have the decency to say why!”

Guilt crowds you, like a blanket of darkness consuming you from overhead, and as Toji stands before you completely torn apart by your letter, you see the fear in his eyes, the sadness, the unspoken plea for you not to go.

You try your best to keep your composure as you turn away again. “I told you, I can’t tell you.”

“Fuck that,” he lifts the letter and tosses it to the ground with a thud. You gasp, watching it slam to the concrete pavement.

“Toji!” you exclaim.

“You think you can just leave without me comin’ to hunt you down and see your face so I can figure out what the hell is goin’ on? You must not know me at all.”

“Why do you always have to be so aggressive about everything?!”

“Of all fuckin’ things, (Y/n), I think I got a right to be aggressive about this. You were gonna leave without sayin’ goodbye!” he tosses his arm out to the side with the exclamation, brows twisting and teeth bearing. “Is that what our relationship means t’ya? You think you can just toss us aside?”

“That’s not what I’m doing,” you beg, a lump forming in your throat as the two of you stand face to face, arguing without a car about who will see you.

“Then tell me,” he shouts. “Cause you’re not givin’ me shit to go off of!”

“I told you already, I can’t,” your lips quiver.

“Then our relationship is nothing to you.”

“No, Toji.”

“Clearly it ain’t, cause I’d think it’d be worth an explanation if you’re runnin’ away!” you frown and shake your head, turning to walk back into the complex when Toji cuts you off, moving in your way. “You don’t think I know you? You don’t think I see it all over your face that somethin’s got you scared, and y’re takin’ off because of it? You think I don’t know what that looks like, (Y/n)? I did that shit. I did it all the damn time before I met you, and hell, I tried to run then but you wouldn’t let me, so what the hell makes you think I’m gonna let you now?”

“This is different,” you say shortly, afraid to reveal the tremble of your voice to the man before you. You keep your gaze down as you try to go around him again, but to no avail. He steps in your path. “Stop!”

“I ain’t stoppin’,” he says gravely, keeping his eyes to yours though you try to avoid contact with them. “Not until you spit it out. I’ll be damned if I got another broken home cause y’re fuckin’ scared.”

“I said stop!” you try to find some bass in your voice, but against your will, it falters when you yell. Toji eyes you carefully, reaching his hand out to grip your shoulder and steady you into place.

You scoff, attempting to pull away, but it’s no use. The dark haired man is everywhere, keeping you from walking away.

“You talk to me like the grown ass woman you are,” he tells you sternly, stepping in. “You use that voice I know you have, and don’t you ever let me catch you writin’ a letter to me about how you wanna break up instead of comin’ to talk to me. Y’understand?”

You exhale shakily, lips pressing together and brows curling. “I can’t.”

“Y’re still not tellin’ me why you think that.”

“Because I can’t, Toji. I can’t tell you. It’ll- it’ll fuck up everything!” you break, and Toji feels the pit in his stomach shift as he looks over your aggrieved expression, depicting the same exact things he feels.

“(Y/n),” he calls your name firmly, the sound of it on his tongue only inspiring the urge to cry more. You continue to shake your head though Toji isn’t exactly speaking, and his green eyes wander you with frustrated concern. “Y’scared of what I’ll do if you tell me?”

You freeze, slowly peeling your eyes to look at his, his face tense with grief. You stare at him for a moment, mouth gaping like a fish as all of your insecurities that talked you toward this ledge run through your mind once more.

“Don’t look surprised,” he says. “I know you like the back of my hand, and I know that you knew I’d be over here to stop ya.”

Your frown deepens, and this time as you look at him, you see every second of your future that you were quick to stomp dow. You see the unbridled, unfiltered love he holds for you as well as the blood curdling fear of letting you go.

“You have to understand,” you whimper. “I know how you’ll react, I- I can’t do this to you. You have to let me go.”

“What the hell could be so horrifyin’ in that head of yours to make you think that I won’t stick with ya through hell and high water?” he grits out, searching your swollen hues of (e/c) hesitation. “You’d do the same for me.”

“I know, but-“

“There’s nothin’ else to say. I ain’t leavin’ until you spill, and when you do, y’re comin’ with me.”

You look at him, pained. It’s a trap, you think. If Toji only knew, he’d be running for the hills instead of trying to track you down.

“Out with it, now.”

You can’t. You can’t tell him. He’ll leave you, he’ll reject you, he’ll turn you away, he’ll never let you see the kids again.

“(Y/n)!”

“I’m pregnant!”

The earth seems to freeze and time seems to slow. You scrunch your eyes, anticipating the worst to come as Toji takes in your words, his tensed expression melting slowly.

You don’t open your eyes to see his reaction. You keep your head ducked and your fists closed as the white noise of nature flutters into relevance. You’re trembling, terrified, and Toji can not move but instead proceeds to stare at you, stunned.

His words about not wanting any more kids run through your mind again as you await his response, and the suspense kills you as you do. You can feel his grip on your shoulder slacken before tightening again, and you are terrified.

He’s going to leave you.

You are quick to step away when the sentiment arises once more, Toji’s hand falling from you arm. “I’m sorry,” you whisper, still unable to look at him. “I’m sorry, I know that you don’t want any more kids. I know, an I thought we were being careful, but- I took five tests. They’re all positive.”

“You’re pregnant?” he echoes, and you still. You knew it. You knew this would happen.

“I told you, Toji,” you exhale. “I told you that I couldn’t tell you, and now everything’s a mess.”

He twitches. “Hold on-“

“Don’t tell me all of a sudden you want kids,” you snap. “I know how strongly you feel about it.”

“So instead of talkin’ to me, you were gonna leave? Knocked up? That doesn’t make any sense.”

“What other choice do I have?!” you cry. “You don’t want more kids, and if I kept it, it would only be a nuisance to you. And Megumi and Tsumiki?”

He scrunches his face. “What about ‘em?”

“How do you think they’d feel if the woman you’re dating after their mother died surprised them with a new baby? They’d be crushed!” you say shakily as salty tears well in your eyes again. “I can’t overstep your boundaries. I just can’t. It’s easier for me to go.”

“And do what, (Y/n)? Raise a kid on your own without any help?”

“I can’t bare you leaving me!” you suddenly confess, tear striking past your cheek.

Toji examines you and frowns. “What are y’talkin’ about? You’re tryin’ to leave me!”

“So I can prevent the inevitable from happening,” you huff. “I’m okay with it. I’ve made peace with everything. That’s why you need to just let me go-“

“After everythin’, you think I’d throw you away because you’re pregnant with my kid?” Toji says incredulously. You falter, for you had been so sure of his reaction before. “You think that low of me?”

“No, but I want you to have what you want.”

“What I want is you, you fuckin’ idiot,” he hisses. “All I ever wanted was you, and I can’t fuckin’ believe you’re tryin’ to take that away from me.”

You furrow your brows, confused. “…You’re not mad?”

“Girl, I’m livid,” he scowls. “Not about the damn kid, but because you assumed what I would say before comin’ to me.”

“Toji, you have to understand that I was trying to look out for you.”

“There’s not lookin’ out for me or those kids or makin’ them happy if you’re gone, (Y/n),” he bites. “Who th’fuck put that idea in your head?”

You stammer, tears proceeding to flow down your face as you reel in the reality of the situation. “I… I just thought-“

“I don’t wanna hear it.”

Before you can respond, his hand is gripping your wrist and he’s tugging you toward him into his chest. You shake when you fall into him, listening to the pace of his heart rapidly beating against your ear as he breaths quickly against you. Large palms smooth over your head and down to your waist as he holds you tightly, and you notice how desperate his grip is. He’s holding you like he’s afraid you’ll disappear, as though you’ll fly away if his hold is not tight enough.

He tucks his head into your neck, fingers grasping into your shirt, and suddenly the animosity of the moment prior is gone. You’re still trembling, leading Toji to hold you tighter to him.

“Can’t believe you tried to leave,” he murmurs into your hair. “Christ, (Y/n) you’re tryin’ to gimme a heart attack. The fuck is goin’ on with you.”

“I’m sorry,” you mumble into his chest, looking off sadly. “I thought you’d be upset about it. I didn’t want you to know.”

“I should know about any and every single thing that’s goin’ on with you, y’hear me? This ain’t no exception.”

A weight flutters from your shoulders as you sink into Toji’s head, silent tears streaming for the life you almost sacrificed. “What are we gonna do?”

“I dunno,” he mumbles. “But we’ll figure it out. As a team. Alright?”

You nod meekly. “Okay.”

He groans, pressing himself impossibly further to you. “That letter… fuck, don’t do that shit. Don’t fuckin’ scare me like that. Without you, I ain’t shit- pregnant or not. And those kids would adore another sibling if you were bringing it into this world. Don’t say that shit about them again either. They need ya. We need ya.”

“I’m sorry,” you whine again, Toji’s hand stroking over your back soothingly.

“It’s okay,” he grumbles. “We’ll figure it out.”

[dangermousie]

Hey dangermousie some time when you're feeling up for an ask: what are your favorite webnovels? Like danmei, bg, general fiction, anything. You've shared so many intetesting sounding novels in other posts so I was curious what some of the top favorites are? I remember Sha Po Lang, Ever Night, and The Dreamer in the Spring Boudoir (which I'm reading because of you ToT)

I love this ask! I am gonna limit myself to 35 novels or we will be here all night. The usual caveat is - this is very personal. You will see that out of 35 (well, 36) novels, there is only one modern, there is a lot of angst and things like noncon and unhealthy relationships don't bother me. But I dislike harem infights and protags who are too OP.

35 I Became the Older Brother of the Heroine in an Abusive Novel by Liu Gou Hua (danmei) - a lovely novel where one half of otp is healthy and wholesome and the other abused feral wreck who melts under sanity and care.

34 After the Disabled God of War Became My Concubine by Liu Gou Hua (danmei) - our MC is a modern person who transmigrates into a historical bad guy who apparently married a captured and crippled general who eventually healed, escaped and committed a lot of murder to avenge his humiliation. Poor historian MC transmigrates right before the wedding and is desperate to avoid the fate of having his head hang on the city gates for three years in the near future. Good luck! This has such a wholesome (yet not boring) OTP. Proof that healthy doesn't have to be dull.

33 You've Got Mail by He Dan Bai (danmei) - the sex in this one is gonzo and biologically questionable but the love story is wistful and sweet and somehow both hilarious and involving two rather damaged people.

32 The Blue Whisper by Jiu Lu Fei Xiang (het) - the novel is a bona fide angst masterpiece, which really delves into what it feels like to be imprisoned or to love and what makes you you. I sniffled throughout.

31 The Paranoid Emperor’s Black Moonlight Shizun by Chen Sensen (danmei) - a really screwed up disciple and a really decent master have some insane entanglements. To say more would be to spoil but if you want some intensity, angst, groveling and utter codependency and did I mention ANGST? this one is for you!

30 Demon King's Repayment by Gong Xinwen (het) - another delicious Gong Xinwen tale with a powerful ML dedicated to capable FL. This one is a great fantasy plot (I keep imagining it as an animated series) and a sprawling cast of amazing secondaries (and secondary OTPs - there is, I swear, an OTP that is Dong Hua x Feng Jiu done thru GXW lens) to boot.

29 Accompanying the Phoenix by Jiu Lu Fei Xiang (het) - the one that just got adapted into The Legend of Shen Li, this is high adventure and cottage core and funny and tragic and powerful ML being putty in the hands of capable FL and just EVERYTHING.

28 The Counterattack of the Cannon Fodder Chambermaid by Jia Mian De Sheng Yan (het) - I remember starting this and loving the realistic feel and the heroine and wanting to stab the hero. Yet the end I was on board with both the hero (who was abused and is rather autistic-coded) and the OTP. Anyway, heroine is a servant who was a concubine in the last life and got killed as part of a rich family’s harem intrigues. In this life, she just wants to keep her head down but her life gets derailed anyway. She gets sold away and eventually made a servant in the household of an exiled prince who takes a fancy to her and she endures it because what choice does she have? All she wanted was to serve out her term and become a small time merchant. This is quite realistic about lack of options for women, especially lower class women or upper class male attitudes (ML is never vicious or mean to FL but it does not initially occur to him to wonder if she fancies him or enjoys being his concubine or w/e.) It is a DELIGHTFUL slow burn tho as they grow to love each other and grow together and become one of the most wholesome cnovel couples out there.

27 The Black Moonlight Holds the BE Script by Teng Luo Wei Zhi (het) - so fucked up, so good, with monster hero who learns to love and be human and heroine who learns to love and be human (but from the other side, her tower of perfection), with a complex plot and no easy outs.

26 The Grand Princess by Mo Shu Bai (het) - a husband and wife who really drifted apart and ended up killing each other (or did they?) get a second chance as they are reborn as their younger selves. This has a great plot, a competent set of protags, and slow burn with complexity and trauma and somehow yet lightness. Plus awesome secondary OTPs!

25 Copper Coins by Mu Su Li (danmei) - a monk and a dragon? More likely than you may think. This is smart and wistful and made me cry; the romance doesn't kick in for the longest time and it doesn't even matter.

24 The Golden Terrace by Cang Wu Bin Bai (danmei) - two smart and principled (yes, they both have principles different though they may be) men navigate their arranged marriage, their past friendship and their past break up, become a super couple (one of the healthiest danmei couples I’ve ever read and proves healthy doesn’t have to be boring), save the country and bring down the emperor or two and just generally this is my rainy day book.

23 Long Wind Crossing (Destined) by Mo Shu Bai (het) - two functional lovely people fighting the world and growing up together and forming an amazing marriage.

22 Mistakenly Saving the Villain by Feng Yu Nie (danmei) - so underrated. A perfect h/c fantasy with the most functional MC and fucked up ML that never puts even a toe wrong with a premise that could go seriously bad so many different ways, instead telling a funny, moving story of love helping you heal.

21 I'll Be the Male Lead's Sister in Law by September Flowing Fire (het) - one of my all time favorite novels. Heroine is made to marry a disabled nephew of the emperor. He used to be a victorious god of war but went mad and now is basically locked away and kept as a beast. GOD I LOVE THIS NOVEL SO MUCHHHHH! So much hurt/comfort and awesome OTP and after he eventually recovers, all he wants to do is to fight and murder things and dote on wifey. MMM. He’s honestly one of my fave MLs.

20 The Rebirth of a Star General by Qian Sha Cha Ke (het) - not a typical QSCK at all, this one has a heroine who wakes up after being killed by her awful family; in her past life she was a general whose glory went to her cousin but here she chooses to start anew. Revenge is secondary to her - forming a new life and healing are really the focus. Also the OTP (FL and a male general with his own tragedy, and her former schoolmate) is just EVERYTHING!

19 Nan Chan by Tang Jiu Qing (danmei) - it reads like poetry crossed with a nightmare. One of the most unusual novels I've read and with the most alien set of protagonists I've ever read and believably so (a personification of a sword and a cannibalistic fish), I can't even describe this in any way other than a deity-centric paean to atheism.

18 The Rest of My Life by Mo Shu Bai (het) - the sole modern on this list, this is a novella about an aftermath of a regular office worker with a regular life and a regular husband being raped. It's a hard hard read but it's amazing.

17 To Rule In a Turbulent World by Fei Tian Ye Xiang (danmei) - gay Minglan is my elevator pitch. Well that or "what happens if you stick cottagecore and crucifixion in one novel."

It’s a BL novel but honestly, it’s a slice of life period novel with fascinating characters and setting that happens to have a gay OTP, not a romance in a period setting per se. It’s meticulously written and smart and deals with character development and somehow makes daily minutia fascinating (I never thought I’d find daily farming things interesting but here I am.) Farming, politics and the sudden horrors of war all intermingle perfectly.

Our protagonist, You Miao, is the son of a fabulously wealthy merchant, sent to the capital to make connections and study. As the story starts, he buys a sex slave on a whim from his friend (OK, wait wait wait don’t go, why are you bailing :P) Basically You Miao sees his friend’s servants beating someone to death, feels bad, and buys him because, as we discover gradually and organically, You Miao may be wealthy and occasionally immature but he is a genuinely good person. Let's back up - You Miao - our protag. He is the main reason I love the novel. It’s hard to write a character who is wealthy, kinda spoiled, sometimes immature and still make him eminently likeable. You Miao is also smart, pragmatic, funny, surprisingly laid back, a people person, and with a stubborn streak a mile wide. He is not perfect in any way but he is a real living breathing person I came to love.

Anyway, the ostensible sex slave he buys is a barbarian from beyond the wall, named Li Zhifeng. It’s touch and go if the man will survive but eventually he does and You Miao, who by then has to return home, gives him his papers and lets him go (not before they have some pretty explicit sex because hey - You Miao is all ‘why not, might be fun to try’ and LZF is “dude saved my life, why not.’ One of the things I love about the story is that there is no instalove - both sex and love make sense in the way and the order they happen; the two bang on a semi regular basis long before their feelings fully develop into love, which is pretty gradual and realistic.) However, LZF decides to stick with You Miao instead, both out of sense of debt for YM saving his life and because he genuinely likes him. One of the pleasures of the novel is watching LZF slowly transform from a piece of wood automaton into a genuine person who allows himself joy or temper.

So meticulously written, so smart, so vivid, such a cast of secondary characters (that friend who was beating LZF to death ended up being one of my favorite, most tragic characters in the novel because the author gets people are complex.)

16 The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System by MXTX (danmei) - a pastiche parody of web novels that somehow is both witty and makes me genuinely feel desperately for the protags. Go read!

15 Dandere General and His Lord by Gong Xinwen (het) - God, I love this one. Heroine transmigrates from modern world into a brutal slave-holding world at war (think something like Warring States era.) Our heroine transmigrates into the body of a noblewoman who just hung herself. When she comes to, she discovers that woman’s twin brother was the ruler of a city poisoned by a rival claimant and the besieging army of said claimant is about to take the city and original occupant of the body and the rest of the family chose suicide as a way to avoid dishonor. Our heroine refuses, schemes with advisors to pass as the brother and rally the troops. Once the invaders are defeated, she keeps on the masquerade and rides off to one of the never-ending wars “she” is summoned to. Our hero couldn’t be farther from this. A slave and a son of a slave, he’s escaped a horrific, starving childhood during which he narrowly avoided being murdered or raped, and ended up in the army. When the story opens, he distinguished himself in battle and as a reward, he and a few of his fellow slave warriors are invited to a banquet, where they are given some alcohol and to be playthings of any nobles who want them. One of them does not survive this but ML is lucky - heroine feels terrible and so “claims” him for herself. Instead she just tends to his wounds and sends him back. She does not fancy him or anything, she is just a human being with a conscience. And the story goes from there.

14 The Marquis Is Innocent by Peng Lai Ke (het) - this is the set up of very beautiful yet utterly cold-hearted woman marrying a ruthless, powerful man who eventually ends up on top of the murder pyramid. And a relationship that starts as a political arrangement with the husband not caring for her but then the ruthless scheming murder machine falls hard for her while FL actually does not, not yet. It takes a long time. This is such a glorious slow burn (I think by now you realized I love slow burns) and it takes her a very long time to open up or for him to realize that is what he wants (he's a very believable period man who finds it hard to admit he can actually have his happiness based on a woman) and there are steps forward and back and it's glorious, glorious!

13 Thousand Miles of Bright Moonlight by 罗青梅 (haven't seen it transliterated) (het) - one of my ultimate favorites, this would make such an epic drama! A smart as hell but cautious and wounded heroine, a hero who is a monk and a warrior but also terribly ill and such a vivid world and amazing secondary characters (heroine’s brother is possibly my favorite supporting character of all time) and so much angst and happy ending. Both the protags are such intense, good people longing for happiness but not daring for it. This has an amazing romance but it’s not romance-centric if it makes sense - ML doesn’t appear for a while. But once he does, it’s worth it!

12 Mountain and River Pillow by Mo Shu Bai (het) - a tender intense and tragic slowburn which shows the limits of knowing what will happen and the fight to reestablish the family with an amazing amazing OTP. Heroine transmigrated into her past self; this time she chooses to go through with her arranged marriage instead of running away for love (it ended badly) but her knowledge fails to prevent her new sweet husband and his whole family murdered in battle and framed for treason. All that is, except for her husband's youngest brother, barely adult and left with an almost impossible task. In the past life he managed but it hollowed him out. In this one he has a sister in law to assist so...Anyway, both the protags are smart, good, intense and amazing people and I love them separately and as an OTP. By far my favorite MSB novel.

11 Those Years In Quest of Honour Mine by Man Man He Qi Duo (danmei) - another really underrated gem, it’s funny and heart-breaking and made me laugh and sniffle within pages of each other. Its two protagonists are both walking wounded but also good people, and watching them find happiness despite all the horrors the world threw at them, watching them take care of each other is so lovely. Also, someone once described the ML as “Lan Wangji gone feral” and that is just A++++

10 The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation by MXTX (danmei) - we all know that one is there even any point describing it.

9 Nightfall/Ever Night by Mao Ni (not romance centric but het) - so long but also so smart and unusual and bloody and tho it’s not primarily a romance, you will never see another ML who loves his FL as much as Ning Que does his Sang Sang. And the worldbuilding and the plot and the characters and just so so bleak.

8 Wu Chang Jie by Shui Qian Cheng (danmei) - are you an emotional vampire? I am and this novel is a banquet. In a highly fantastical setting, we meet our protagonists - the sunny Xie Bian and the intense and surly Fan Wushe. Xie Bian is a human who assists his master in conveying souls to the underworld and making sure no mishaps happen. Bian is concentrated sunshine in human form and to meet him is to love him. When the novel opens, his drunk master brings back another human to be his shidi and assist with duties - said human is uncommunicative, intense and surly Wushe. Bian is excited to have a shidi but little does he know that a story dealing with the horrors of past lifetime is about to start.

Anyway, why WCJ? So many reasons. It has such a dark bleak worldview - this world is a horrifying system where powerful cannibalize each other’s cores for an impossible chance to ascend, where gods have sealed off their realm and all that’s left is neverending human misery and hell (the only way you’d see a deity is if they’d been sent down to suffer over and over and over), where even reincarnation doesn’t fix things and bad acts are often unpunished. And the novel then asks - is it worth being a good person in such a world? More, is it worth being a good person in such a world when nothing good has ever happened to you and you have been repeatedly betrayed due to your goodness? And the answer, on Bian’s part, is an uncompromising yes.

Ah yes, the other reason to love this novel - the protagonists and their fucked up fucked up relationship. Bian (who was Prince Ziheng in the past life) is so genuinely good. But he is that rare thing - good but not saintly, noble but not cloying. So much of the novel is his getting taken apart over and over and barely able to put himself back together every time but his soul is still as amazing as ever. And then there is Wushe (who was Prince Zixiao in past life, Ziheng’s not-bio-related brother.) Wushe is not a good person. He is a monster. And he loves Bian/Ziheng more than his life and his soul and the entire world but he’s also the one who hurt him more than anyone else ever could and did it over and over. His love survived a literal century of torture in the worst kind of hell and refused the usual memory loss of new life. But it also humiliated and broke Ziheng down to his constituent parts.

One of the things that is so fascinating to me about this novel is the question of what can be forgiven/what should be forgiven/what kind of expiation is enough/can you ever love someone who you loved so much and then he hurt you so badly and is now repentant? And it never sweeps trauma under the rug or hand waves it away but deals with it head on. If you want healthy relationships, you should stay far away from this novel but if intense insane ones with a feral barely human one capable of destroying the world leashed by love and guilt to the sane deeply good one is your bag, come right in. There is also the world building and the fact that yes, the big fall out between Ziheng x Zixiao is based on not knowing all the facts but it’s not “why can’t you talk?! This is dumb!” But is totally in keeping with both events and their characters. It’s reasonable for Ziheng to do what he does and for Zixiao to misunderstand and decide Ziheng is now his biggest enemy (but still one he’s fixated on) and for Ziheng to never be able to clarify. Anyway, once again this is trigger warning central so please heed those, but if they are no issue, this one is wonderful.

7 Stars of Chaos (Sha Po Lang) by Priest (danmei) - so smart and so much clever world building. There is enough politicking to satisfy a Qiang Jin Jiu fan, it’s steampunk, and our two protagonists - Gu Yun, the empire’s most powerful general, who’s loyal to the empire despite being badly wronged by it, and Chang Geng, a cursed prince with barbarian blood and horrifying childhood - are wonderful separately and together. This is a huge slow burn but it’s totally worth it! They fall in love with each other’s hearts and brains and ability as much as anything. (Yes, this is the one with the yifu thing. Gu Yun is made Chang Geng’s foster father when he rescues him and brings him back to the capital as a way to keep CG safe in imperial strife. They are 12 and 19 at the time so clearly it’s never a parental relationship.)

6 Heaven Official's Blessing by by MXTX (danmei) - I love it’s sprawling narrative and cast, I love its inventive setting and picaresque story. It’s hilarious and can make me cry. But the novel’s place on this list is due to Xie Lian who is part Kenshin part drama WWX part pure goodness wrapped in heartbreak and trauma wrapped in sunshine.

5 (tie) The Emperor’s Beloved Ugly Girl by 一味相思 (haven't seen it transliterated) (het)- Our heroine is the unlucky laundry maid A’Chou. She is a di daughter of an upperclass family but her family got destroyed in one of the political upheavals of the time and A’Chou, only a small child at the time, was the only survivor and was made an enslaved laundry maid. Due to various events, at the start of the novel she is a laundry maid in a minister’s household and the minister’s beloved daughter is having a fit because she’s supposed to marry the former Crown Prince which may have been great a few years back but Crown Prince had since been deposed, tortured, imprisoned and now is living in the middle of nowhere under conditions that are too meager to be called house arrest. And he’s seriously crippled too. Understandably, the young lady doesn’t want to marry him! She’d rather kill herself and so she does. And so, a desperate plan is hatched - why don’t we pretend the laundry maid is the di daughter of the minister’s household and send her off? And so A’Chu is sent as the bride. She arrives to discover a broke, seriously injured man on the verge of death…and we go from there. This is so gorgeous and tender and slow in just the right way and like AAAAAA! Secondary OTPs (one of which is MM) are also epic.

5 Wishing You Eternal Happiness by Peng Lai Ke (het) - this is almost tied with Dreamer as my favorite het web novel ever though it couldn’t be more different from Dreamer, with its hard-edged and hard-souled protagonists ruthlessly cleaving their way to the world and, eventually, each other, its smart cynical air. Except in one thing - the world of Wishing is just as bloody and dark. Its two protagonists are gentle, deeply wounded souls who may find salvation in each other but even something as basic as safety almost seems out of reach. Jliafu, our heroine, is neither a modern-day transmigrator, nor some exotic princess or demoness. She is very much a period woman of her time, from a weathy merchant clan, whose beauty is her curse. You can tell the novel’s tone from that utterly bleak opening chapter where she, a favorite concubine of a capricious dying emperor, is ordered to be buried alive with him and is not even given the “grace” of white silk but slowly suffocates in the coffin, scrabbling at the lid. There is no grand threats of vengeance on her part, not dramatic opera events. Just despair and death. The whole introductory chapter is haunted by emotional ghosts - the empress’ unrequited love for the monster on the imperial bed (turning into desire for Jiafu’s suffering after he dies), the emperor slowly dying in his prime after waging too many wars, and his fear of being haunted by Pei Youan, a brilliant if sickly minister who died of illness long ago on one of imperial campaigns. There is no triumph for anyone, only loss.

When she wakes up as still a young woman, all she wants is to escape the same fate. There are no plans for power or revenge, only a desire for survival. And so she latches on asking for help from Pei Youan, the only man in her past go-around who showed any consideration and desire and ability to protect her, though he barely knew her. Pei Youan is probably my favorite het web novel ML. Despite his brains and ability, he drifts through life. In modern terms, he clearly has depression. One of the biggest, best joys of the novel is watching these two very good, very quiet, very wounded people discover happiness and love with each other. I sort of want to cry just thinking about it, tbh.

4 Ballad of Sword and Wine (Qiang Jin Jiu) by Tang Jiu Qing (danmei) - a dense political tome that takes a while to get going but then it’s a runaway train. In a fictional dynasty, Shen Zechuan, the only remaining son of a disgraced aristocratic family and Xiao Chiye, the younger son of a family of generals guarding the border join forces (and then something else) to get power and pull down the dysfunctional system.

This is so elegant and smart (a rare web novel I’d recommend to anyone who just loves solid period fiction) and you probably need a notebook to keep track of the politics and military strategy. These characters are very very smart not just because the author says so.

As to the characters, there is a large cast and I love many of them, but for me the novel is made by Shen Zechuan and Xiao Chiye. SZC is gorgeous and delicate and icy and can kill you before you have time to blink. Saddled with the sins of the family he had no pleasant interaction with, he claws his way out of hell (seeing the sinkhole he was trapped in, literally as well) to take down those who wronged him but also to amass power so all the tragedy and corruption won’t happen again and the whole rotten system comes crashing down. XCY is a military genius who is trapped as a hostage in the capital because the court doesn’t trust his family. He longs to return to the plains of home and to take his rightful place. The two men start out as bitter enemies, then reluctant and sniping allies, then as friends and eventually as one of the most gorgeous, tender, swoony OTPs. Anyway this is one is a bona fide masterpiece, equal parts smart and emotionally intense.

3 Dreamer In the Spring Boudoir by Bai Lu Cheng Shuang (het) - my n1 het novel on this list, smart and fierce and don’t really read this for romance because it does not start until really late, but ice cold heroine x ice cold hero both of equal brains and ruthlessness is everything. I went from loathing the ML to finding him fascinating to adoring him (and yet he softened around the edges only for FL, he never became “nice”) and loved FL throughout; secondaries are epic. If you read only one non-danmei web novel, make it this one.

2 Stains of Filth (Yuwu) by Meatbun Doesn't Eat Meat (danmei) - another novel by the author of 2ha. Clearly she just pushes all my buttons every time. This one is much shorter and has a plot that is twisty but less twisty than 2ha. Still, all that means is that intensity and the pain are more concentrated. Aristocratic Mo Xi and former slave Gu Mang were both legendary generals of the empire and lovers. But Gu Mang betrayed the country and switched to the enemy. Now he is back as a peace offering by that country and Mo Xi has to deal with the fact that his feelings are as strong as ever.

This novel!!! So much pain and intensity!!! So many amazing plot twists and supporting characters. The same bleak world view, the same unjust society, the same protagonists doing right things despite the cost. Mo Xi’s intensity and inability to let go (he’s imprinted on Gu Mang and that’s it) is romantic, bone-shakingly intense, and tragic all at once. And oh Gu Mang! So many times I just wanted to reach into the book physically to protect him. The novel deals with unjust societies, memory versus personality, what it’s like to be good in a bad universe etc. And it both made me sob and giggle, repeatedly, and sold me on literally death-defying (but not honor-defying!) love. Oh, and special shout out to the fact that like 2ha, you may start out hating some characters and end up a rabid fangirl (cough Murong Lian!)

1 The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha) by Meatbun Doesn't Eat Meat (danmei) -my n1 forever and ever.

Taxian Jun, the horrific cultivation emperor of the world who razed cities and destroyed sects, is surrounded on his mountain. The righteous sects are terrified to confront him but tired of living, Taxian Jun consumes poison and dies by suicide at the age of 32. And opens his eyes as 16 year old Mo Ran, Mo Ran long before he became Taxian Jun, Mo Ran who is excited at a chance to save the one person he loved and lost. Oh, and to deal with his loathed shizun, the unapproachable and strict Chu Wanning, his past life’s biggest enemy.

I have no idea if it’s objectively the best on this list but it hits every trope I love, its bleak worldview (the world will change only incrementally but that’s enough, average person will not appreciate the sacrifice but it’s still worthwhile, and love is worth everything) mirrors mine, and the sheer complexity of the plot and cascade of plot twists each of which is insane and yet completely logical, is amazing (this is a rare novel where it’s even more fun to reread than read for the first time because you keep seeing all the hints and trail crumbs laid out that you did not see the first time.)

And the characters!!! I mean, this novel has multiple universes/timelines, a side trip to the Underworld AND the demon realm, a plot more twisted than a store’s worth of pretzels and yet the thing that hits me the most are the characters. Mo Ran is my favorite web novel character of all time and I love Chu Wanning so. All the secondary characters are wonderfully written (and some of them made me bawl) and they are all complex. My opinion of all of them changed many times over; the novel doesn’t make it easy to love some of them but then you do and it’s so worthwhile! That slow change is one of the delights of the novel - I started out disliking the unpleasant, superior Chu Wanning and cruel, callow Mo Ran and then I loved them so so hard and cried for them so so hard and was in awe of their heroism and sacrifice and selflessness and capacity to love.

Oh, and the fact that this novel does something almost impossible - it has its protagonist start out as so clearly irredeemable and then slowly and painfully and thoroughly redeems him (without ever letting the reader forget what it is he needs redemption for.) Also, for a novel that made me cry so hard I felt ill, this book is just so damn funny with the most sarcastic sense of humor imaginable (the serious angst doesn’t even kick in until 90+ chapters!) Anyway I should stop or I will write a dissertation. But this is the one web novel that I would put in my top 5 not just web novels but any novels in any shape or form. The plentiful trigger warnings are there for a reason so stay away if they are an issue, but if not, if anyone hasn’t read it yet, what are you doing with your life?!

[poomphuripan]

rosyspell doesn’t have the special chapters of pbd. would you be able to summarize them? 💞💞

hi nonnie! of course i'd be happy to (o゜▽゜)o☆

full disclaimer: my knowledge of 188 novels is still limited so i might not cover all of the special chapters, these are just the ones i've been able to read/know due to the handful of vietnamese/english translations i've been accessible to.

so there are generally a lot of official extras: the written word extra chapters, additional material like interview with the characters, official chibi/cartoon au... which is why for this post i'll just focus on summarizing the post-canon extra chapters. i'll also be linking a few translations i found.

Post-canon extra chapters of Professional Body Double

(i read all of these post-canon extra chapters through a vietnamese translation here, you can google translate and get the gist of them)

Daily life a couple: Ming is sulky at Joe for always being so busy with work because he's busy himself but he can always spend time with Joe while Joe has a lot of projects to film. Joe coaxes Ming by agreeing to go on a short trip with him to the beach. They have kinky sex on the beach.

Period of Happiness: Joe surprises Ming by returning home early from his work trip. Joe hears the sounds coming from the bedroom while Ming quickly turns off what he was watching. Joe got curious so he secretly looks at what Ming had been watching, turns out Ming was watching old films which Joe 1.0 starred in. Joe feels conflicted, a bit envy of his old face, is kinda forlorn and down mood. Next morning, Ming notices something's wrong with Joe and apologizes profusely to Joe for watching films of Joe 1.0 while Joe is like it's fine (he was in fact, not fine). In the evening, Joe tells Ming he's gonna take a walk outside but Ming got all paranoid that Joe is still mad at him and starts crying and begging him to stay, promising he'll never watch films of Joe 1.0 again if Joe stays (all this kid knows is how to beg and cry lawd). Joe is like no he's just worried that Ming cannot fully accept his new look compared to his old one. Ming was like no he should be the one worrying here, worrying that one day Joe can get upset and leave him without saying goodbye like Joe once did. Ming does regret that he's never had a picture taken with Joe 1.0 but promises that he only loves the current Joe in front of him. They had hot emotional sex after resolving their conflict.

Injured Xiang-Ge: Joe gets injured on set and broke his rib a little bit. Ming immediately flies home to see Joe and take care of him. Ming expresses his fears and worries about what if one day Joe hits his head and lose all conciousness of Joe 1.0 or if Joe 2.0's soul return to this body. Joe reassures Ming that he will be more careful later on when filming.

New Year Vacation: A snowstorm hit the set where Joe is filming, causing a delay in production. Joe messages Ming to coax him about not being able to come back home in time to celebrate Lunar New Year with him. Ming surprises Joe at the hotel where he was staying to celebrate new year with him.

Jealous Little Gong: Ming is jealous over the news reporting about Joe's new film and dating rumors with his actress co-star. Joe is being sickenly sweet trying to coax Ming.

Summer Limited (adapted audiodrama here): famous actor Joe is invited to Italy for Milan Fashion Week, Ming is somewhere in Europe working around the same time so he received an invitation to the FW by the organizers to walk with Joe. Ming surprises Joe with his appearance and they're all lovey dovey with their public appearance at Joe's hesitance because it's implied that Ming's father still disapproves of his gay son.

Vacation in Munich in 2018 (english tl here): Joe takes some time off acting when he's at the height of his career to travelled with Ming to Germany where Ming is supposed to be working there for some time. They take a walk around the city one day and run into a female acquaintance of Ming. Basically Ming teases Joe about whether he's jealous, they're just being lovey and dovey bantering.

English translations of official AUs

ABO AU - read here Sentinel & Guide AU - read here

[callm3-q]

This whole situation with bad is all so bittersweet... Like, on one hand we get really cool lore and we get to see more of Bad hanging out with more of the eggs. But on the other hand, it's like, at what cost. We could have all those things with out the reset, and all the angst that's coming with it. All the eggs that know Bad so well, and Bad putting all the time and devotion into building that trust and getting to know them better just thrown out the window. It's sad to think about.

And another thing, people are just barely thinking about ways to help Bad, like moving closer to help out more, or trying to find a cure, and shit like that. But still, too little too late. He's been like this for a LONG time, at some point things are just unfixable. And I know people were trying to help Bad earlier on, but it wasn't, and still isn't, really far up on the to-do list for anyone.

I can already see people logging on after the reset and running into Bad and having to have the conversation, and basically having to re-introduce themselves to him.

But one thing I have questions about is how far back will it send him? Will he be sent back to the first thing that could be called the first mistake, or when his life first started falling apart. Or will it send him back further. Will he remember Foolish, or Phill, or any of the others from the dsmp. Or will he forget everyone entirely.

Also just gonna put general ideas of how people might react to Bad's reset depending on how far back he gets sent, cause I need a break from writing about this angsty lore :)

could imagine Foolish running into Bad, or meeting up with him and it gong something like this. (This is if his memory got ripped back to when his life started falling to pieces, so he still remember most of the islanders and eggs) I could imagine Foolish noticing something off about Bad and going like 'what the fuck happened to you' and Bad would just be like 'what do you mean, I'm completely normal' and the Foolish would just hag him, and ask questions about what happened.

I could see Pierre saying 'Bebou nooooo D: what happened to you' (maybe a bad time but I absolutely love Pierres accent TmT) Then Bad would say "What do you mean' because why wouldn't he, I mean c'mon... He's BadboyHalo, infamous for being oblivious and shit like that

Anyways, I'll probably continue this post and talk about how I think/ thought others would react. (depending on if Bad dies tomorrow or not ofc, I'll say if I was close or not). But Bad was a little rapscallion as he would say, and streamed for 9 hours and it's already 1:20 AM and I'm tired af TvT. So see you tomorrow with the rest of this post, if I decide to finish it.

[transhuman-priestess]

This one is a little different than other things I've posted before. It's short, it's not horny, it's a bit surreal. I wrote it a while ago, but I've never posted it here. This one came out of my head at a very stressful time in my life and it's largely a pastiche of what I was going through at the time. It's not literal, but you'll understand.

There's no sex (though masturbation is mentioned) in this one but there is a lot of explicit, semi-realistic gore mentioned. This is your warning.

If You Prick Me, I Shall Bleed

I was walking down the street last week when a stray bullet struck me in the right shoulder. The 5.56mm round struck the top of my right shoulder blade, shattering it into several large pieces and bouncing up and into my clavicle before exiting horizontally through my skin. Blood poured everywhere.

As I screamed in agony one of my fellow pedestrians on the corner of Chavez and Belmont looked over at me. “Uh, Ma’am,” He said, disgust evident in his voice. “Would you mind not bleeding all over me?”

I managed to regain self control and through clenched teeth and flowing tears I sputtered, “I’m sorry, my bad.” My blue uniform was now a dark purple. I grabbed several copies of the Falun Gong’s free newspaper from the dispenser a few feet away and pressed them to my gushing wound.

The light turned green and as I crossed the street a white woman in her late 40s with a “Choose Life” shirt on tapped me on my uninjured shoulder. I turned around and she said to me “You should sue, you know.”

“Who should I sue?” I asked, “It was random gunfire. Also I can’t afford a lawyer.”

“You should sue the city, it’s going to hell!” Her eyes drifted down from my face to my shirt pocket and fixed upon my trans flag pin. Her expression changed to one not unlike you might see on someone who’d just stepped barefoot in dog shit. She turned and walked away and once she got about 10 feet away I swore I heard her say “Fucking faggot.”

I made it to work, my shoulder mercifully having clotted. My boss was talking to the receptionist as I walked in. He stood up and looked me up and down before checking his watch. “You’re late.” he said, “You were supposed to be here 3 minutes ago.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, before gesturing to my shoulder. “I got shot. I’ll be fine.”

“You got shot? Christ. That sucks. I’m sorry but we’re really short-staffed today.”

“I said I’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” He said, now browsing something on his phone.

“I just need to make it clear I can’t afford to send you home.”

I walked past the reception desk and through the “Employees Only” door and sat down at my cubicle. The first challenge of the day was to figure out how to use the mouse on my computer with a shattered right shoulder. I tried just moving my arm as normal but the tenuous newspaper-filled clot started bleeding again and a bit of what I’m pretty sure was my collarbone fell onto the desk. My boss picked that moment to walk by. He glanced at the bloody chunk of bone on the desk and shouted, “God dammit, Danner, your cubicle is disgusting. I’m gonna have to write you up for this.”

“But sir, I-”

“But nothing, Danner,” He said, “It is very clear in the employee handbook that all workspaces must be kept clean.”

“I got shot”

“I don’t care if you got shot, you need to be more responsible.” and with that, he walked off to go yell at Collins for something or other.

After another 10 minutes of trying in vain to make my right hand work with the mouse I used my left to pick it up and, with some difficulty, managed to change the settings to left-handed use. I found that I was mostly competent at typing one-handed, and for several hours things were almost normal, except for the occasional bit of blood-soaked bone falling out of my shoulder.

I decided to work through lunch and around 2pm I went and used the company account to buy some more toner. About 10 minutes after that, my boss came back. “Danner, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Huh?” I asked, confused

“Why did you just put in an order for 6 toner cartridges? We only needed 5.”

“Oh,” I said, slightly relieved that it wasn’t something I’d get fired over. “I meant to hit 5 but I must have hit 6 by accident. I’ve been having to type one-handed cause of the shoulder thing.”

His eyes narrowed, “You’re fired, Danner. Security will clean out your desk. Go home now before I call the cops.”

“What?” I said, alarmed, “What did I do?”

“Wasting company funds is serious business, Danner.”

“I got shot,” I protested, “and this is a tiny mistake.”

“Well you should have called off then.”

“You told me you couldn’t spare me.”

“That’s not my problem. If you weren’t capable of doing your duties you should have called off.”

“You would have fired me.”

“That’s not my problem. Get out before I tear you a new asshole.”

I walked to the door, and as I left I heard my boss say, “And the cost of cleaning your cubicle is coming out of your final paycheck.”

An hour later I made it home, having somehow managed to drive stick left-handed. I walked in the front door to see my boyfriend, Jim, sitting on the couch, masturbating.

“Oh, hi, Sara.” He said, not looking away from his computer screen, “you’re home early”

“I got fired.” I said, before breaking down and sobbing.

“Oh, hon, that fucking blows.” He’s still jerking his dick up and down like he’s shaking a can of spray paint.

I lay on the floor writhing in pain and my whole body convulsed even more with the sobs of humiliation and despair.

Finally, Jim looks up. Our eyes met, and with a sweet expression of pity in his eyes, he said, “Can you keep it down, babe? You’re killing my boner.”

[toastingpencils37]

Ok, so some random DR Season 2 theory, but first I have to credit @nyaskitten for two things that I'm going to use as a basis for my theories.

One, back when the Season 2 sets first leaked way back in 2023, Raine had noted that the gong had three eyes, similar to that of an Oni. I can't find the post detailing it for the life of me, but I do remember it.

Plus, later, he made this post, which actually predicted a leak we recently got in the Summer 2024 set description leaks.

Anyways, on that, it is reasonable to believe that whoever that Oni (assuming it's an Oni) is, they were probably either trapped within the gong or made the gong, and first physically appears towards the end of part one/beginning of part two, as they first appear in the Summer sets.

Which open up multiple possibilities as to who they may be, some a lot more far-fetched than the others:

A Source Oni: In this case, if the Oni is a Source Dragon, 1) Source Oni would have to exist in canon, and 2) they cannot be trapped within the gong. If Source Oni aren't gonna be canon, this option is automatically out. But if Source Oni are canon and this is a Source Oni, it has to originally be outside the gong, because capturing & freeing it would probably upset the cosmos like doing so to a Source Dragon would. And from a narrative perspective, I don't think the writers will want to do another Chaos Storm in the season right after the first that already did it. Now, assuming it's a Source Oni, what'll it be the Source Oni of? Honestly, it could be any, if it's red eyes are from whatever blood moon magic it uses. Or it's the Source Oni of Fire. But even though the Source Dragon of Fire appears to be relevant this season, I don't think there's anything relevant to do with fire in relation to the villains. So just some random other Source Oni would make sense. Now how they made the Gong I have no idea. Maybe they made it in a regular non-Oni/Dragon way and then just infused it with the blood moon stuff, and then possibly lost it/or decided to go into hiding.

Just a regular Oni: In this case, it would just be a regular Oni that started using and probably even created the idea of Blood Moon magic. If the Oni is just a regular Oni, then it is possible that they got too powerful and either their magic itself or something/somebody else trapped them in the gong, and then they get freed in Season 2, probably by Ras, as leaks claim that he's Ras' master.

A Dragoni: Sadly, I feel like this may be the least likely option, just because it's unlikely that another Dragoni will be included in the series. But if Ras' master was a Dragoni, that would allow the Oni to possibly create the gong themself. Of course, like the previous possibility, it would still be likely that the Dragoni made the Blood Moon magic (possibly through the actual power of creation in this case) and then got trapped in the gong. I personally feel like this would be the most interesting, especially because then there could be a character that could be like the opposite to the FSM in a way, who holding both the powers of creation and destruction, decided to pursue destruction and pain rather than creation and life. But again, probably the least likely option.

Of course, if the Oni is in fact not an Oni at all, it would completely disprove all of these theories, but it's nice to theorize.

[dreamyshifts]

people i have beef with in my regency romance reality

— tl;dr in case you’re seeing this for the first time :). this is an “original” dr that’s been inspired by various historical manhwa themes and tropes, and overall regency romance.

some of these are written in my script, some from visualizations, and some writing this post because im in the clouds rn and everything is hilarious (ifykyk)

Lady from a “rival” house, lady peony something— a petty academic rivalry that started during our Academy years. I hadn’t manifested mana like the rest of my family, so she’d often try and use that against me w/ gossip and small petty things, but when she realized that neither I nor my family even gave a fuck about it, she switched to an academic rivalry. Honestly I think she can be hilarious when she’s not so guarded; I think we could be frenemies ;(

Random knight who once thought I was a burglar I think his name was George or something??? (Always the George 😔)— I was roaming about one of the city that my family governs (where our house is) in like typical, nondescript clothes and cloak (I was not expecting the winters to be so cold like wtf???) and I didn’t bring any of my attendants with me because I just wanted some alone time to explore and maybe do a shopping spree at a bookstore, but I was like window shopping and this guy approached me all aggressive and demanding to know who I was and even some stranger was like “she’s literally just standing there…”

Another rival lady, lady nicolette — honestly I just don’t like herrrr like it was hate at first sight and vice versa. Like our rivalry is so petty it’s actually funny. We just don’t vibe and she’s been rude to one of my siblings, so my mind is like “kill bill sirens” or well the equivalent since this is historical signs so like,,, gongs?? anyway

my younger brothers’ bully — I don’t care that you’re a 10yr old, it’s on sight

This one lord whose name I can’t remember rn but he’s like involved in agriculture — anyway, I was at one of my friends soirées right and we were gonna do one of the pair dances that was more fun and exciting to do, but this ho like stepped in my place right before the song began and it was like ?? sir,,, . It was so awkward after that because he just thanked my friend for the dance and walked away, and we were like 🧍🏾‍♀️🧍🏾‍♀️

the old granny on the corner bakery…. she won’t give me more than three lemon tarts :(((( like yeah I could go to my home and have the chefs there do it but like hers tastes so much better like I’d marry that tart if I could BUT SHE WONT GIVE IT TO MEEEEEE

anyway,,, hope you enjoy my ramblings ahsjdjdjd feel free to hop in ma inbox if ur curious 💃🏽

✨ happy shifting ✨

[randomingoftherandomness]

There is a thing I don't get, why Yuanzhi was so against the idea of Ziyu becoming the sword wielder?

Just because he wanted his brother to be it? Or because of the rumors about Ziyu's mother? I mean, Shangjue was always logical on the reasons why he didn't want Ziyu to be the leader while Yuanzhi seemed to just do what he was told to do.

I read an answer on Reddit where Yuanzhi was described as Shangjue's dog, with no opinions of his own, petty and oblivious. Many people regarded him as the true villain of the show because he caused pain and played tricks for no real reasons. Do you think he is like that? Only smart for poisons?

Me to the Redditor who said that:

Knuckle and buckle, kids, you're on the Gab Meta Train.

1. Gong Ziyu started out hella unqualified and everyone knows it

Don't come at me and tell me Gong Ziyu was the most worthy candidate to be the Sword Wielder because based on the first character setup, he definitely was not it. He was known to frequent the pleasure house, he stumbles home drunk in broad daylight, he has no involvement in the family's affairs, and he is most definitely more known as a dandy than anyone who is being groomed to take over the helm of the family.

Honestly, off the bat, in real life, would you want someone with a proven track record to lead you and protect you and your interests, or would you want some dude who is better known for hanging out at a brothel than he is actually handling paperwork or has a track record of maturity?

Yuanzhi, who is younger than Ziyu, but already is contributing to the day-to-day running and the development of tech and research for the family.

Which means...?

He has skin in the game about who he wants to lead him in the family. And that's a very valid stance to take. It's more than "oh Gege told me to do this, so I will" because that's such a sad 1 dimension take, and again, to that Redditor:

Of course, we as the audience know that Ziyu will shape up. He will step up and he will answer the call, so to speak. But Gong Yuanzhi and Gong Shangjue did not. And if you really think about it, they're pretty much 'employees' of the Gong company. They just didn't agree with what top management decided and vocally voiced that opinion.

If you reeeeeallly want to think about it, they were just unionising :)

(gonna put this under a read more coz it got long)

2. Gong Shangjue has instilled a mentality of "Family First"

Relating to the first point.

Shangjue is obviously Yuanzhi's North Star. He is who Yuanzhi is shaping himself to be, and for all we know of his character, of course he would. He's basically the perfect man to aspire to be in a society like theirs.

So, when Shangjue says, "Family is the Most Important", don't you think Yuanzhi is gonna listen? Gong Shangjue is Gong Yuanzhi's most important person. He's family in a way that the rest aren't. Even if he doesn't outright say "I want that position", Yuanzhi would have done anything to help support him and get him there.

And going on the point where Shangjue and Yuanzhi were on Ziyu's case coz of the rumours that his mom was possibly pregnant when she married into the Gong family; I know other users on the MJTY tag have quite possibly discussed this matter (shoutout to @kingsandbastardz @swiftletinthecloud @romchat for their lovely metas and analysis posts ❤️ I consume them with much gratitude and glee), but let me crudely try to wrangle what has been beautifully said into my my own words;

For a family that prides themselves with being very strict about their familial rules, the fact that there is some measure and level of doubt persisting about Ziyu's parentage should have and must disqualify him from the position itself. Ziyu's dad could have easily kiboshed the rumours but he didn't, why?

More than that, the implication given to Shangjue over tea was that the position of Zhiren was always meant to go to him. Rewatch that scene where he last saw his uncle. Tell me differently.

The whole paternity issue is just one facet of a very Ziyu shaped problem. Having a murky paternity will raise issues of succession. Why do you think the nobilities of Europe back then had a court of people, usually people of importance, to be present when a marriage was consummated and a child was born? This is to make sure that there was no doubt that the marriage was legitimate and the line of succession and paternity remains unbroken.

(there were always exceptions to the rule, of course, but you get my drift, right?)

Of course, we got the resolutions to all of these issues; Ziyu was always the bio son of the Zhiren, he probably didn't kibosh the rumours because he never wanted to have his son carry that burden of leading the family when he could tell that his son had always wanted to leave the Valley, and Shangjue never coveted the position in the first place, he just wanted the right person to lead.

3. Yuanzhi has no opinions

Yuanzhi's just a dog to Shangjue? Well, if he's a dog, I wanna be one too Woof Woof.

Yuanzhi has his own motivations and drive. They just so happened to be Gege-shaped. I don't see how that warrants being called someone's dog.

He doesn't have his own opinions? Bro quite literally almost died to prove a point that the porridge was poisoned and Shangguan Qian cannot be trusted. HOW IS THAT NOT HAVING AN OPINION?

WERE WE EVEN WATCHING THE SAME SHOW???

Honestly, it's Reddit so I shouldn't be this surprised about the hot takes that happen on there, but damn if some people lack two brain cells to rub together to critically consume the media in front of them.

4. Yuanzhi is a reactionary character

Think about it; how many times throughout the narrative did he cause problems for no apparent reason?

If anything, don't you think that Ziyu & co. are the ones who deliberately do things to antagonise him and Shangjue? It's almost midnight as I am typing this and the old noggin is starting to lag, but let's focus on the blood GPS incident.

Yuanzhi saw that the people in the Yu residence were being a bit suspicious so he goes to snoop (cause + reason = reaction). Jin Fan is best boy, but Yuanzhi did not instigate that fight, he did (with good reason i know i know). (offense + defense = reaction). Ziyu & co. tried to stuff him into the closet (*snerk*) and what does he do? Bites down until he bleeds because he knows Gege will find him if he sniffs him out. And he did. A successful reaction.

In my opinion, he's like gunpowder -- left alone, they'll be fine. When given a spark, will react.

And again with feeling... To the Redditor who spouted such utter shite;

Class dismissed

[medtech-mara]

Work in Progress(es)

I won't go on the spill, you know what day it is, and I do things when I want.

Lets start with DOGTOWN SAFE HOUSE. I'm working on making things a bit more homey for V3AH. It's a slow progress. Also if someone could help me figure out how to move the sleep icon up from the bed thats there, that would be great. Right now she clips thru the bed to sleep on that dirty ass mattress.

How the apartment pod even got up there is a mystery to us all, but its gonna stay. I already have some changes to it i'm wanting to do. maybe i'll release the preset when im done.

MOVING ON--

I've been working on some Lore for the 2077 timeline, still working on the name of it.. I've been..... Scheming.... if you will with @fly-amanitaa about some of the directions I plan to take. WHAT I CAN INDULGE, is public knowledge.... and by that i mean it's been posted in my Delusional corner for a week, so my besties already got first dibs.

Kang Tao reigns as the Apex of Night City with the help of Shin Chae-Rin joining the Engineering department. Gong-Ji and the Cheol Family have taken over after the construct of Jung Ho-Seok aka Jago (Jay-Go) was ripped out of him to prevent certain Terror on the city if reunited with his Wife, Panthera, who has been missing for nearly 10 years now. The Night Jackie and V3AH break into Konpeki Tower and preform the Heist, instead of being greeted with Arasaka family, it's the Cheol patriarch being murdered by Gong-Ji.

This storyline, plays directly off the second AU. Where Mara and Jago get married and at the end you see both borg’d out Jago and Mara closing in on an AV to Kang Tao tower, the plan is to destroy Gong-Ji and the rest of the Cheol family, rip it root and stem from the garden. They killed Jago’s whole family and have been in an active manhunt for him since the news doxxed his real identity.

Then, when Jago and Chae-rin split, Gong-Ji moves in with villian intentions to use her to kill her former lover, while keeping her for his own. Knowing how Jago really feels about Chae-Rin, when all else failed to get Chae-rin to Willingly come, Gong-Ji forced her to join Kang Tao and refuses to let her go unless Jago is killed. Chae-Rin, refuses to do it. She won’t be the one to give the command to kill someone she loves so much.

When Jago hears about her Capture, him and Mara fight for a while. The moment her name gets brought up, he always wants to run to her. It’s clear his feelings for her never left him, and Mara is sick of it. She agrees to do it, but she’s doing it to get back for taking his family. Not Chae-rin, and she will not extract her. He would have to do that himself. She’s sick of being second in his heart. The mission fails (still working on how that happened), Jago is captured and assumed to be dead. Mara narrowly escapes and is nearly dead when she calls Titus to evac her. She was already fading in and out of consciousness when Odessa shows to grab her. She was left in a recovery tank while they figured out what happened to Jago. No matter what they tried, Odessa nor Azimuth could find out what happened to Jago. All attempts ended the same, countless dying. Titus, knowing that Mara is basically Azimuths Adam smasher at this point, knows that she will go Berserk and kill everyone. Odessa had already made plans to leave earth and head to Europa where colonies were starting up. They loaded the Cryotank up with Mara inside and decided to keep her subdued until she got to Europa. Which is why Mara hasn’t been seen in 10 years and no one knows what happened to her. THUS explains as to how Mara ends up on Jupiter's moon with the rest of Night Raid Which bridges our lore from cyberpunk to Barotrauma.

LASTLY...

I mentioned I would talk about the unknown cutie that ya'll have been going crazy for!!!!! BABABABABABABAABAAAADAAAAAAAA!!!!!!\

It's Joi! Yes, in the main storyline she was the Clinic A.I, but in the new AU, Water on Mars, i decided to make her human, and she is Mara's Rival for Jack's attention... one of them at least.

Let me tell you it was a struggle to make someone that might make Mara jealous, but honestly, I think this cutie will make Mara run for her eddies.

Joi (I dont have her last name yet I might have Joi as her handle....) is 29, she's a techie/netrunner who specializes in drones. Think of a hivemother, but with drones. That's her. She will join Mara's merc team when they cross paths, so now its a question.... Will Mara and Jack make it to the end or will Mara be replaced with the girl she hired to work with Jack?

Normally, Joi is my Android or A.I character, i normally only play her on Barotrauma, but I needed someone to make Mara sweat, and clearly the Media from Wellsprings Tells things, was too intimidated by Mara. (for good reason too, after Mara threatened her, she smashed in Gorge's mom's head in. Gorge is a 13 year old boy who was hired and looked after by Jack and Mara. I will tell ya'll why later.)

okay... so those are my WIPs for whenever. I have been tagged by so many people i can't even keep up with, but most recently: @glitchinginthegarden

tagging: @imaginarycyberpunk2023 @nananarc @juststayquiete @aggravateddurian @ghostoffuturespast @pacificaisstillpacifica @gloryride @streetkid-named-desire @cyberpsychotic-purgatory

no pressure. i tagged anyone whose interacted with me recently. so sorry if you already done one this week and tagged me, im fr lizard brain most the time.

[theworstkindofkinnie]

im gonna try to use this blog as a way to just talk abt my ed cuz my friends who USED to meanspo me are actually getting worried, so i cant do it irl anymore

dont mind if i spam post...

anyways. i CANNOT wait for school to start!!! all those people who havent seen me in liek 4 months better be so surprised or im literally gong to get worse this is a THREAT

[fourseasonsfigs]

Your Name - 7/18 Bench

Since I posted a fig set yesterday in honor of the 4th anniversary of the Hengdian Fanmeet, I'll keep the celebration going with yet another fig set!

I posted about the first fig set titled Your Name way back in September of 2022. That set celebrated this wonderful picture:

This picture is so beloved by the fandom that a different fig maker decided to render it again. This time, the 7/18 Bench has been crafted in the very popular style known as 胖胖, pàngpàng.

This is the newer fig style that has been all the rage - we've been lucky to have a lot of classic Junzhe and Wenzhou sets re-imagined in this style.

These two came with their signs pre-installed on their hands, thank goodness. The less to fiddle with, the better!

They were not, of course, pre-installed on their bench, just like the other set. And just like the other set, they balance pretty well by themselves on the grooves that had been carved out for them on the bench. However, I've learned a lot since September of 2022, and I have learned that I can't trust anything but professional grade cyanoacrylate glue to keep my figs in place.

Since I started gluing figs in place, I haven't had anymore incidents where I walk into my room and see a fig avalanche fallen down my display shelves, thank goodness. My heart can't stand the strain!

They are quite firmly fastened down, believe you me. The figs have proved pretty resilient, but my nerves are less so.

You can see here that Junjun's hair is a bit darker than Zhehan's, which is quite accurate to the time and the picture.

Junjun is also a little bit taller here, which is also quite accurate.

Their hairstyles are fairly similar, but Zhehan's bottom fringe is just a bit longer than Junjun's, which reflects his shaggy-haired style. Like yesterday's figs, the fig maker unfortunately opted to leave out his little ponytail, which continues to be a bummer. His long hair with the ponytail is my favorite look on him!

I like that they were wearing black and white for this shoot - the different but complementary colors look great.

I really love the original picture that this fig set is based off of, so I'm very happy to have another fig rendition of it. Them holding each other's name sign is extremely unusual for C-entertainment, which is usually characterized by intense competition. Yet another reason why I love these two so much.

Of course, as I mentioned yesterday, them holding each other's name and Zhehan posting pics with Junjun was so out of the ordinary it was a step too far for many of Zhehan's fans, who hammered his Weibo post with objections. This resulted in him deleting his original post:

...and re-posting another without the pictures with Gong Jun to make his fans happy:

But, the pictures live on. I think it says a lot about the beauty of Zhang Zhehan's character that he posted them to begin with, and it also says quite a bit about the state of C-ent.

Their little smiles are quite captivating - Junjun's is very sweet, and of course you know the wiggly little mouth that Zhehan has is one of my fig favorites!

These glued down pretty easily - some of them don't, but these ended up pretty solid.

I wanted to push them a little closer together on the bench so they looked a little more like the original pic, but their heads are so large that it's not really feasible. That's alright, they're still super sweet.

We haven't seen a big maker emphasize Zhehan's silhouette in a while, but here you can see a little more care given to his little fig tush. The man worked very hard for that figure, the fig makers are gonna show it off!

No box cards for this set, unfortunately. Not uncommon but it is super nice when I get them.

Material: Resin

Fig Count: (+2) 529

Scene Count: 38

Rating: Your name is as beautiful as a rose

[link to the Master Post Index]

[dangermousie]

I decided to sorta-rewatch Gong/Jade Palace Lock Heart which I am old fogey enough to have watched as it aired back in 2011.

The time travel/transmigration ban is thanks to the success of it and BBJX one-two punch combo. Tragic but almost worth it because two dramas are both huge huge faves. Where BBJX is a moody tragic masterpiece, this is just insanely addictive fun.

In the event you were not (1) watching cdramas back in 2011 (2) did not watch this since (3) weren't around when I posted about this before, JPLH centers around our awesome heroine Qing Chuan, who is a modern day owner of an antiques shop and a huge Emperor Yongzheng fangirl, who falls through time and ends up in the Qing Dynasty, during the time of Kang Xi's sons' fight for the throne, a fight that she knows and is happy Yongzheng eventually wins.

She meets and has some epic interactions with hunky YZ, then merely the Fourth Prince (played deliciously by young Mickey He - as always with plenty of chemistry with Yang Mi; they were a tragic OTP in Schemes of Beauty some time before JPLH, the chemistry is still there.)

Today's censors would collectively immolate themselves rather than release this drama - Four is ruthless and scheming and fine with murdering his brothers (and others) on his path to the throne (so like the historical YZ.) There is no noble "I care for the people" from him or anyone, they just want power. He does develop a soft spot for our plucky FL and she has an epic crush on him but...wrinkle. Her endgame OTP is not this gentleman. It's this one:

The immature Eighth Prince, loser in the battle of the princes, her bete noir in the palace and one who is here confusing one of his brothers who does not understand that his bullying is a bizarro form of flirting that even he doesn't get, not a genuine desire to harm.

One of the things that this drama, bubblegum tho he is, ahistorical tho it is (QC teaches one of the concubines to get into Kang Xi's favor by rollerskating!) gets is how bloody and murder-happy that world is. None of these people blink at murdering, maiming or otherwise damaging others

Did I mention that JPLH is a Qing era AU of Boys Over Flowers, btw? With our FL as Makino, Eighth Prince as queued Domyouji and Four aka Yongzheng as an extremely homicidal Rui. I have said it before and said it again - this is the first BOF adaptation that actually makes sense to me in power and character dynamics because of course period absolute royals are gonna be insane, bloody, and get everyone to obey.

This drama has the old school cdrama delicious vibe (that Dashing Youth brought back) of starting light and then descending into hell. It's the best. I love how long it takes Eight to win her. I love the ship and angst and happy ending and why it makes sense for her to take so long to realize it's him she loves (look at his initial behavior, look at her being a time traveler etc.)

This was my first Qing era drama actually. When I looked at Feng Shao Feng not just with the queue but unbound loose hair (with the half shaved look) and went "you know, I don't know if it makes sense, he looks FUCKING HOT" I should have known I was a goner for period cdramas, if I wasn't before.

PS I am old enough to remember FSF and YM having hordes of RPShippers. Oooooold.

PPS Equivalent of Rui's violin:

[germanyballartsandanimations]

🇨🇳🐰🍊🧧🏮likes, shares, shares to stories, saves and comments are highly appreciated!🏮🧧🍊🐰🇨🇳 Chinese new year. That's the post. Yeah i lied to yall 😒😒😒 think i was gonna post on sunday???nahh good evening anyway I started this out a day ago and uh. Yeah helloooooo Comes along with that stupid doodle i thought i would post and head out today but here's our final result 😳😳😳 an excuse to shit in my chinese knowledge LOL Have a great day/morning/afternoon/evening/night ahead HAHAHAHAH and happy CNY to yall :DDDDDDD Tags: #countryhumans #countryhuman #countryhumanschina #countryhumanchina #countryhumansart #countryhumansfanart #countryhumansdrawing #country #china #🇨🇳 #art #digitalart #drawing #fanart #artwork #medibang #medibangpaint #chinesenewyear #yearoftherabbit #artistsoninstagram 🦧🦧🦧 GONG XI FUCK CAI 😩‼ IT'S THE YEAR OF THE RABBIT 🐰🐰🐰💦💦💦💦. You know what that means you qipao SLUTS 👘👀 Its time to show AHGONG👲🏻👲🏻👴🏻👴🏻 your PHATTEST oranges 🍊🍊🍊😜😜😜 And get some THICCC HONGBAOS ㊗💰🈵‼Get your love letters 💕💕 ready for some of your 大哥's BIG 肉干 🍖🥓🥓🍗🍗nd text your closest C0CKcubines 📱📱💃💃 to come visiting 🏡💦🏡💦🏡💦 Send this to 8⃣8⃣ of your most SUPERSTITIOUS SLUTS 💰💰🙊🙊 and get a sexy LION DANCE 🐲🐲💃💃 this CNY‼‼‼ If you get 0⃣-3⃣ of these back, you won't get to enjoy any of that 大肉干 If you get 4⃣-7⃣ of these back ur 年年有 👉👌🍆🍆💦😩💦😩 If you get more than 8⃣ back your flat chinese ass 😶😶😶will be screaming HUAT AH tonight ♨♨🈵🈵‼ (that was a copypasta btw bye) (at Felling Happy and Wonderful) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cnrg2CgBreK/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=