#gonna make more of my ships for this series in the future :3

[askhezureviews]

We will all know your thoughts on season 2 of HB soon. I don’t know if you waiting was in response to people saying”you have to wait to see the whole season before judging it” but do you think there’s any ever case where this could apply to reviews?

Actually, that is typically what I prefer to do. I like to binge watch media to their completion for a more rounded review. I know my 45+ min videos are annoying to most, I can't blame them since I too have a short attention span- as well as a terrible tendency to waste half the review summarizing the plot (I'm working on fixing that for my future reviews, apologies for that) but I typically prefer to judge things on an overall basis rather than part 1, part 2, episode 12, season 3, season 6- simply for the sake of video cleanliness. The phrase of "wait until it finishes before judging" is a major player for all media. Absolutely the case with Arcane, because season 2 they had an unreliable narrator as well as a structure designed to withhold information from the audience.

The Owl House and Steven Universe didn't actually even... start their plots until their second seasons, they had a very slow start.

I'm also gonna wait for more episodes of Monkey Wrench and The Amazing Digital Circus before making a youtube review, since they're still pretty early on in production. There's a lot of character information and plot we simply do not have yet- regardless, I'm loving what I'm seeing thus far.

The reason I made an exception for Helluva Boss: They already had at least one season established, and episode 1 of season 2 completely changed the storyline season 1 was heading for. You could see an immediate change in storytelling and pacing due to the fact that the writer changed, as well as the show's priorities shifting to focus on the ship pandering.

If I had been watching Tangled the series in real time, I probably would have also made an exception video regarding Cassandra's villain arc immediately because the set up for that was nonsensical, and true to the start, it remained nonsensical to the end of the show. Helluva Boss had problems before, but the comedy genre allowed wiggle room for making mistakes because it didn't take itself seriously. But now that it has dedicated itself as a romantic drama, investing in character angst and connections, it starts dragging on as plotline traumas start repeating and becoming more dramatic. It is now taking itself too seriously.

Changing Stolitz from a business partners with benefits to childhood friend soulmates was a red flag that stood out to me, because this decision changed the trajectory of the show and omit our characters from any wrongdoing. I've never seen a show flatten their characters like pancakes in a single episode before, it was astonishing.

While some of Helluva Boss's season 2 episodes managed to redeem some nice writing or character moments, regardless, this season has continued to end all stakes for our characters through plot armor as well as humiliating the villains they introduced in season 1.

If you have at least one established season for your show, and your writing suddenly: 1. Drastically changes prior interaction & depth of characters 2. Changes the show's trajectory, focus, and genre 3. Presents the above in a nonsensical manner / no believable set up Then that's a red flag to indicate the show is gonna go down hill, as previous fans are now left confused to the sudden change. There's a high probability you'll lose views/support/money because of these changes. While the show may attempt to backtrack in later episodes, as Helluva Boss has, this creates a separate problem of contradicting itself, leaving the audience confused as to how they're meant to interpret these scenes as the tone flip flops every other episode. (and actually leads to more fandom drama)

I've been waiting for season 2 to end because the initial plot change shock was over, as they continued to double down on their decision. As well as my realization that a different writer was actually now on board, which explained a lot. Thus, I want to go back and review Helluva Boss season 1 and season 2 as a whole instead of the episode reviews I was doing, to help put things into perspective for people and actually get to talk about what Helluva Boss did right so I can lead into where it went wrong.

[slushy-sash]

my otps 🥹

[pumpkinspice-prouvaire]

pumpkinspice-prouvaire's required les mis fic reading list

enough of u supported me in my half asleep post asking about fic recs the other day so I am providing. If you want a deep look into my inner psyche this is also the list for that hehe. I tried to be strict about only including my absolute MUST READ fics that I adore and have read and reread and reread again multiple times. Also these will be mostly ExR, to no one's surprise. But there might be a few other ships and gen fics in there too. It's under the read more because this bitch is gonna get long

Auto-read authors:

I didn't wanna rec the same authors too many times in my list proper so these are the authors whose works I have read all (or nearly all) of multiple times. The authors whose tax returns I would read if they posted them on ao3. I will be featuring my favourite fics by them in the list

Fiver

dannyPURO

TheLibrarina

quillsand

Petr1chor

defractum

ShameDumpster

vamillepudding

revolutionbarbie

loverism (all of their fics are currently in a privated bookmark but I have faith that they will someday return. loverism if u see this I miss u)

Need_To_Comment_Rising

Multi-Chapter fics/Series/WIPs:

Under My Wings You Will Find Refuge- Fiver: (WIP) This is the most required reading of my required reading list. I can quote passages of this fic by heart. It's my roman empire. PLEASE check this one out if you haven't it is the best ExR fic in existence, it will change ur life I promise

Beneath a Dragon Moon- The Librarina: GOT AU, no GOT knowledge required. Lots of dramatic moments interspaced with some lovely tender ExR

Guided by a Beating Heart -torakowalski: my absolute FAVOURITE Enjolras centric angst fic. Lots of emotion, lots of friendship, will make you ugly sob

you and i walk a fragile line (is this the time it finally breaks)?- UnforgettableJoMarch: (WIP) I am so enjoying following along with this one. Heartbreaking plot with sublime execution and some brilliant lines, so looking forward to seeing this one develop

The Future's Owned By You and Me- quillsand: ENJOLRAS/FEUILLY ENJOLRAS/FEUILLY ENJOLRAS/FEUILLY WHAT MORE CAN I SAY. Absolutely fantastic rarer pair fic with as much (and maybe more) importance devoted to the activism as to the ship

Getting Fucked in Lingerie- downtheroadandupthehill: PWP. ahem. anyways.

(With a Jubilant Shout) They Will Come One and All- zade: PWP. AHEM. ANYWAYS.

True Blood AU-kjack89: Exactly what it sounds like. Vampire Grantaire and Human Enjolras shenanigans

words can be unwritten- defractum: my favourite soulmate au which makes me melt every time <3

Armillaria- RevocablePeril: THE MOST COURFIUS FIC OF ALL TIME. Lots of excellent Les Amis content in general. SUCH a good, massively underrated fic. 121 kudos??????????? You're all insane.

In An Age Without Heroes- ShitpostingfromtheBarricade: Gloryhole soulmates, the prison industrial complex, Oprah.

walls come tumbling down-reptilianraven: They're cute your honor. One of the only high school AUs I will abide by tbqh hehe

Oneshots:

What's a Bed Between Friends?- dannyPURO: if there's one thing you should know about me it's that I ADORE the there was only one bed trope

epiphany- Abidatchery: screaming crying throwing up that this isn't the fandom's most kudos'ed fic. Every word is expertly crafted and absolutely stunning

Vienna Roast- revolutionbarbie: cosy coffee shop au with a version of Enjolras we don't get to see but that I really enjoy

Out of Touch- ShameDumpster: LET ENJOLRAS GET LOVED YOU COWARDS

A Little More Lois Lane- stellatundra: Just a really funny and silly AU in which Grantaire is Superman

Love in a Coffee Shop-tellthemstories: an absolute fandom classic and rightly so. I've read this one so many times and every time there'll still be something that makes me laugh out loud

My anaconda don't want none (at all)-vamillepudding: v funny and sweet ace enj fic with hilarious triumvirate and exr dynamics

The Waiting is the Hardest Part-samyazaz: In this house, we absolutely love a sexy bet

Between Meetings and Midnight- PieceofCait: Enjolras cries after sex send tweet

A Bad Penny- PBJellie: Gay cowboys and sickfics are the ultimate combo for SURE

Leaves in the Void- myrmidryad: lots of emotion lots of friendship this one is so heavy but SO good you guys. It's also a Space AU I know we all love that <3

my heart's been borrowed (yours has been blue)-Petr1chor: P-tri is so good at writing fics where Enjolras is a complete dumbass and he wrote this one especially for me <3 <3 <3

fire in my hands- geode: This is my go to fic if I want a laugh. "Do you like parsnips?" "Yes they're my second favourite vegetable" iconic exchange god bless

I Would Do Anything For Love- Need_to_Comment_Rising: one of my fave ace Enjolras fics with lovely tender ExR. No I'm not biased because I worked on this series, don't be silly

Like Comfort, Like Solace, Like Relief- areyoumiserableyet: The sensation of coming home to the people you love after a long day <3

Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood- sonhoedesrazao: There should be more fics with oblivious to his own emotions Grantaire that's all I'm saying

Trying to Leave the Ground-barricadeur: rly comfy cosy smut fic

YAY ENJOY I'm gonna go lie down now god I hope I haven't forgotten anything lmfao

[thearcaneenthusiast]

Guess who we're talking about....

WOOOHOOO🥳🥳🥳🥳

____________________________________________________

Lets talk about them

TIMEBOMB

-ekkoxjinx

SO FIRST OF ALL I'm gonna be comparing timebomb to another already Canon, straight ship. Guess.

If you guessed these two you guessed right!!!!!!! :3

People do NOT like this couple for multiple reasons.

1. Jayce is very VERRYY unliked in the series. (I'll get into this in another post.)

2. These two, even though having a literal humpy humpy scene, BARELY had any chemistry.

3. HUGEEE POWER GAP BETWEEN THE TWO. it didn't feel like they were equals to eachother, with Mel always dictating Jayce's each and every move.

4. Elaboration on 2, if we take a look at statistics, (MY fyp rn on tiktok, and probably your's too.) Vi and Caitlyn were fan favourites, why? Multiple reasons, That I am NOT getting into, (new post idea!!) But one of the main reasons was the chemistry between the two, and the tension. (something Jayce and Mel didn't have) People focused more on Vi and Cait because the base of their relationship wasn't based on fucking politics and "the future of piltover" (ahem)

____________________________________________________

My pookies

What do these two have that Mel and Jayce don't?

1. Both Characters are likeable ❤️ (I'm biased here since my favourite character in the series is Ekko) -> upcoming post!!!

2. The base of their relationship, being the past, is actually interesting, and it ties to both of them beautifully. We know Ekko Ingame as the boy who can rewind time, And we know jinx now as a girl who's so trapped in her past. Does that not make u want to rip ur heart out to give to the writers of arcane or is if just me.

3. Unlike Mel and Jayce, The trope between Ekko and Jinx is ALSO interesting. You cant call mel and jayce enemies to lovers because Mel NEVER saw jayce as an enemy. (Jayce is debatable.) The trope between Jinx and Ekko is always changing, keeping us on our toes.

4. Elaboration on 1, Both Characters are likeable because BOTH characters are interesting. I'll give it to Jayce, his character is interesting but compared to rest, it's lowkey just.. eh. 😭😭. Mel's character is beautifully written, just like Ekko AND Jinx.

That's all I have for today 💔 PLEASE PLEASE feel free to contradict me in reblogs or comments or whatever, I'd love to get ur opinion too.

[vexieeeee]

My fav yuri couples / ships <3

(In no particular order)

No one asked for it but I'm bored and wanna do it, you guys can give me ideas for lists to talk about like that in the future too.

Gonna make more parts too <3

Rae and Claire (I'm in Love with the Villainess) (Canon)

My thoughts: Okay so I absolutely adore everything about this series like manga and anime and light novels are all so good <3 It even defeated my ultimate yuri series which is Bloom Into You and that's something. So of course Rae and Claire with their amazing and such an interesting relationship had to make a list here. I don't know why but something about them just fills me with warmth. The way Claire goes from absolutely not being able to stand Rae to falling in love completely is just so 🤌 Dare I say my fav yuri relationship 💖

Sorawo and Toriko (Urasekai Picnic) (Canon)

My thoughts: With my last posts no one should be surprised at the next pair because COME ON GUYS, they're the lesbians we need but never deserved fr... I love everything about them, girlfriends who are accomplices and explore a world with monsters and other fucked up shit while being absolutely gay and protective of each other. I adore them <3

Yuu and Touko (Bloom Into You) (Canon)

My thoughts: My first ever fav yuri (Can't believe Rae and Claire beat them though-) for a reason. Everything about this was perfect for me, characters, plot and just the writing in general. Yuu and Touko's relationship with each other kept me entertained for the whole anime and then manga. I don't know what to say except that I love them <3

Adachi and Shimamura (Adachi to Shimamura) (Canon)

My thoughts: THEM. I just think they're so cute and that's all. And I know a lot of people are gonna come and say "Omg Vex Shimamura doesn't care about Adachi like that, she's such an annoying person-" Shut up because I do not tolerate Shimamura slander on this blog. Girl went through a lot but she cares about and loves Adachi. "The end of her life was the end of mine" bitch stop I'm sobbing, if that ain't love then I don't know what is.

Mitsuki and Aya (The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy at All) (Canon)

My thoughts: Obviously I HAD TO add my green lesbians here. Mitsuki and Aya are the syrup to my pancakes and I'm so serious. Don't you guys just love it when two girls bond over shared interests and fall in love? Yeah me too ����‍↕️ If you need some serotonin then just read it, trust me guys.

Himari and Yori (Whisper Me a Love Song) (Canon)

My thoughts: Himari and Yori are so 💖 I've been reading this manga since it first came out in 2019 and my feelings towards them never change. In every chapter they're just so cute and their relationship is just adorable and I just love them <3

Aki and Shiho (Whisper Me a Love Song) (Canon)

My thoughts: Since we're on topic of Whisper Me a Love Song, since the first time we got introduced to their relation I WAS HOOKED. Everything about them was just so interesting and their storyline only highlighted their love later on. Plus I think both Shiho and Aki deserve to be happy after everything so I'm happy they're girlfriends.

Kumiko x Reina (Hibike! Euphonium) (Not Canon)

My thoughts: It physically hurt me to put not canon there because why? 😔 Honestly when I first started watching this show I thought they're so into each other until my brother spoiled me that they're indeed NOT into each other like that. Still in my heart they're girlfriends no matter what. No one will ever tell me there was absolutely nothing between them. I'm obsessed with them.

Chika x You (Love Live Sunshine) (Not Canon)

My thoughts: All of you Love Live stans may criticize me for talking about them first since "There's so much more better Love Live ships-" No. Nuh uh. Chika and You are my absolute fav ship in all of Love Live for some reason that I can't explain. They're just so cute and I may be a sucker for childhood friends trope in anime 🫠 The whole jealousy moment in the anime was feeding me too much and now it's showing fruits of it (Me being absolutely OBSESSED)

Ayumu x Yuu (Love Live Nijigasaki) (Not Canon)

My thoughts: Since we're on the topic of the childhood friends trope, obviously Ayumu and Yuu couldn't be missing from any part of this list. They're just so good together that it's shocking. Ayumu going yandere whenever a girl is close to Yuu and Yuu being absolute women charmer being surrounded by girls in the club is giving me life. They're just absolute adorable together and with them I'm absolutely sure they ended up together somewhere in the future.

[rotting-butterscotch]

so uh i just rewatched community for the 3rd, and possibly the last, time, and I'm gonna rant about it, especially because it's being taken off Netflix this month.

Community is literally the #1 best fucking show on this planet (with Brooklyn 99 and The Good Place being a 2 and 3), and no one can tell me otherwise. The writing is so fucking beautiful (except the writing of the romantic entanglements within the group, but im sure the fandom knows that already), and can be so funny yet heartbreaking at the same time.

Let's take "Geothermal Escapism" for an example (which to point out how amazing the writing is, has never failed to make me cry at the end of it). The symbolism of the hot lava game, the fact that Troy had to play into the whole "clone" thing just for Abed to be able to cope with him leaving (which proves yet again how much Troy and Abed do for eachother, and yes that *is* one of the reasons I ship trobed, but let's not get off-track more than we already have lol), the group saying all their good-byes at the end, and the way those good-byes characterize them so perfectly, it's literally a masterpiece of an episode.

And the fact that the viewers as a whole were supposed to just forget all of that the next episode baffles me, like make up your mind Dan Harmon, are you gonna make the best show of all time or ruin it by shoving jeffannie down our throats at the last episode???? (sorry, went off track)

Anyways, back to the writing: it's beautiful, but can be so dumb at the same time. Like, another example: "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television", a.k.a. the finale, which not only kind of does a call-back to s1 Jeff and Abed (Abed being ready to let go and embrace the future, and Jeff being so against it), but omggg the symbolism towards the end, where Jeff has driven Abed and Annie to the airport, and he's hugging them good-bye, and Jeff goes in for a second hug, because yet again he's afraid of change, and you can tell Abed is confused, but he goes with it anyways, because he gets it (actually I'm making this point based off of a comment under a compilation of Jeff and Abed, but whatever).

Jeff and Abed in s6 is literally Abed and Jeff in s1, and not only then, but literally everywhere in the series, you can tell how alike they are, how their traumas and troubles are so alike, yet they dealt with it differently, one with acceptance and one with denial.

And another point about how the writing can be so dumb sometimes: how can you literally point to jeffannie being an illogical and impossible ship, and literally have both members of this ship finally realize how unhealthy it in the *same* episode as is that ship's kiss scene?!?! Like, how does that make sense.

Anyways, my conclusion to this rant is: there's no conclusion lol, I just wanted to barf out all of my thoughts on this show onto here (and these aren't even all my thoughts on this show lol), as incoherent as they are. I'll miss this show so bad😭😭.

[not-trannydurden]

STARSHINE FANG-GLINT

PART ONE, CHAPTER ONE

"HERE COMES YOUR MAN"

WARNING! NSFW! SMUT! SEX! GORE! DUBIOUS CONSENT!

ALIEN PARASITE x SPACE TRUCKER!!

Photocredit to H.R. GIGER (WATCHGUARDIAN and RUSTY FEMALE TORSO) and NASA

Having never mastered faster-than-light travel, our ambitions far overestimated our ability to tame physics. So now, if you want anything shipped from point A, to point B, then you are going to need some lowlifes that don't mind giving you forty, fifty, seventy years of their lives to sleep frozen in zero G for a good paycheck and dental. This is why PV2 Camuth Syntrax has been in this business for a very, very long time.

She used to be a girl with stars in her eyes and ambitions. Hell, the whole reason she signed up for this job was to pay for her HRT and tits. She wanted to be whole, at some point in the future.

Now? Well, now she's just a miserable asshole trucker. Who happens to have big tits.

During a routine operation, their freighter is flagged and deployed for a shady Hazmat job. This was supposed to be like any other shady, high paying freight job. Make that top secret military budget money, and only have to shift your morals to the side a little to do it. A trucker is a trucker. They don't control whats in the bay.

Hell, she could hardly tell the difference. Camuth was drunk for most of her waking hours, or balls deep in a stow-away or hitchhiker. This leap's flavor was a peppy biologist with a sadistic streak.

She couldn't begin to understand how ignorant this assumption was.

WARNING: This series will eventually contain Gore, Violence, Cannibalism, Body Horror, and Vore. This chapter will contain: Mild misogyny, A lot of sex scenes, mild mentions of gore and political violence, and some non-consensual flirting.

Also, here's a playlist link ^^ i'd like to thank anyone who may of helped my write the first draft of this; it would not exist without you.

In every star-freighter there is always one pod that leaves you feeling extra sick. It's kind of a running joke amongst truckers; of course, that being a colloquial term.  An homage to societies of the past. No matter what, every voyage, you are gonna have one guy say it; 

"Looks like I got the bad pod."

Bleary eyed and shivering from the thermaebath still. Can't stop getting the bends. Dizzy.

When you are in thermae, the ship doesn't produce artificial gravity. Why would it? Saves a lot more power this way.

So that spinning feeling you get when you are trying to take you first few steps; it's the fluids in your ears adjusting to the presence of any gravity.

So picture this; 14 runs, back to back; almost 3 years spent on jumps from system to system, taking advantage of a Cerebrachem shortage that was sweeping the same direction we are; then, on the way back you deliver beef for a chain of Corpo airlock-exchange fast food restaurants.  

Teiren/Max Corp was meticulous with these sort of long hauls; they had to be worth the costs that it takes to pay experienced Truckers to waste 4 years away from home.

Lucky for me, the wages are great. The ship mates are fine, a couple of pretty girls, an android that you could swear was modeled to be a milf on purpose, and besides that; a few men. 

Men who were smart enough to mind their business. Women in this industry had a nasty habit of mutilating the uncouth that came onto them.

Prison rules. Pick the biggest guy. Grab him by the nuts. Set an example.

Every 5 months you wake up for a few weeks; exercise, socialize, repair the ship and check on the precious cargo. This free time is perfect for when you want to smoke a cigarette or stare at a wall, or eat out that cute biologist tagalong that came to study blah blah blah blah blah blah... 

What? Listen, if you saw this girls hips you'd understand. Hard to focus on much when you are wondering how her jumpsuit fits on, zips up in the center. Conceals all... that.

Maybe not though, because I can't remember why she's here, and we've spent the last 3 years having casual sex together. Watching horror movies and painting each other's nails. She compliments my bone structure a lot. I think she's weird, but in a hot way. 

Dr. Leerson. Doctor Amelia Leerson.

Imagine that you are almost home when everyone, yourself included, is shot upright like frankenstein movie monsters; albeit almost 4 months early. 

"We're not even close to schedule." Captain says. Cap's a big brawly man, pale, malnourished skin with a handlebar mustache. He's older than all of us, but he's healthy enough. Used to be a marine. 

Still built like one, and even though he was a brick-shithouse, a lifetime of protein paste and nutrition gel had left him looking like a strung out corpse all the time.

He's already dressed and dry, meanwhile I'm still on hands and knees letting fluid pour out of my sinus.

"What doya...?"

He points to the automatic calender on the wall. 

"Oh, uhuh...." I rub my chin, apparently deep in thought.

I couldn't remember the depart date.

A fat grey tabby goes waddling out of Leerson's pod. Pets didn't do good alone floating in zero g. It was wise to carry them with you. Picture egyptian burial rules. Anything you want when you wake up, make sure it's buried with you.

"We're gonna have to ration," Captain mumbled, rubbing the stubble on his chin. Cap was constantly talking about rationing, re-using, recycling. I don't think I'd ever eaten a fully allocated meal on this ship. The man was paranoid as all hell about something, anything, going wrong. Getting stuck out in deep space with a fuel injector malfunction, or a buggy navigation algorithm. So they saved old O2 filters. They distilled runoff from their engines into new fuel. They didn't eat enough.

"You'll thank me when we run out of fresh filters one day." Captain would always say, and we knew better than to argue.

"You're always saying that," said Leerson, who had been around just long enough to notice the pattern. Her voice was casually musical, almost teasing. "We're four months out, Captain. What's the worst that could happen?" 

Cap just grunted and turned to go towards center command, the defacto meeting room and geographical center of the ship. In ancient history, all roads led to Rome. In the age of modern space freighting; all roads lead to the center command.

Despite still being nude from the Thermae process, I roll over and stare at the ceiling. Leerson just watches and laughs, before throwing me a towel.

"Camuth, get dressed and get ready for briefing." He paused and looked over his shoulder at Leerson. "And don't let them keep me waiting too long, Doctor."

Leerson smiled, faux innocent. I grazed my tongue across my teeth, hard, before finally heaving myself up off the ground next to my pod, towel still half clutched around me. I panted, my arms trembling slightly from exertion. My teeth chattered slightly, and I leaned my forehead against the frosted over metal of the pod, feeling the bits of sweat and thermae fluid freeze upon contact with each other, making my forehead buzz. 

"Poor thing," Leerson teased, close enough that I could feel breath on my ear. I shivered in a different way at that. Leerson had a superpower that let her walk around noiselessly on metal grates. I felt her fingers wander around my midsection, spider-like in the way they dance between the folds of the scratchy orange towel and find their way to my cold pale flesh. 

"I...- I gotta get dressed," I say, failing to fight back a sigh, halfway between contentment and unadulterated need. A half-whine.

"That's what we're doing," Leerson purrs. She was such a fox, and I meant that in the predatory sense. I meant that with flashes of broken necked bunnies and eviscerated squirrels in mind. Terrestrial viscerality, or sexuality. It all came from the same need.

"I'm helping you get dressed, Second Private." 

Leerson said as she flicked a cruel nail once, letting the towel drop to the floor, exposing me.

"Now," she said, in tones that made me pissed and weak in the knees, "Just where did I put that jumpsuit..." 

My head was spinning, and it was only half from the teasing. I really did feel like shit.

"Get a room, dykes!" Someone shouted as I tried my best to not make a face at her touch. There were no rooms on a freighter. Just notches in a wall big enough to fit a twin sized mattress. 

For this reason, it was not uncommon to find your crewmates fucking on top of the coolant pipes, or on the cargo. You don't want to see what sort of use a hauling strap will find during one of these sessions.

Imagine every fast-food burger you've ever eaten, and imagine backshots being blown on cargo containers of every single of one of them.

"Yeah, fuck off, you're welcome." I say throwing up a middle finger to our electrician, Peter Schulzbern. We just called him Berns. He already has a baseball cap on. One from the tail end of the petrol-industrial era. When we still knew where Earth was. It reads: "I ❤️ NYC"

Leerson giggles, knowing that she's brushing up against my dick as she pulls my jumpsuit over me. Best part is that she's still halfnude, her jumpsuit only on like a pair of pants. Revealing two beautiful tits and a long neck. Biologists. It made sense. She was an animal. Better-yet to study them.

"I'm gonna go debrief honey, make me some coffee would ya?" I asked, and Leerson rolls her eyes.

"Oh yes sir Mr. Syntrax, right away." She says in a fake receptionist voice, making fun of me.

"Please, honey?" I ask, genuine vulnerability in my voice. She bites her tongue and smiles at me.

"Good girl." She says, and I shutter.

"You fuckin..." I'm whispering to myself as she walks away. Giving the whole crew a view of her tits as she stepped past the Thermaebay. Only once she reaches the door does she zip up her jumpsuit the rest of the way.

I'm staring, houndlike, at her ass with each step as I work to button my cuffs and adjust my collar to standard.

"Why do you always get the girl?" A voice asks, coming close behind me. I don't look. I know that it's Ricky Raffington. James Raffington legally. We just called him Rat.

"Because I am a girl. You think a piece like that isn't gonna want something soft and homely like me over some washed up Navy piece of shit like you? Ever?" 

"I don't have nothing you don't have." Rat scowls, unable to stop himself from glancing at the strain I'm currently placing on my jumpsuit, specifically in the crotch area. I'd blown out the zippers on these things before. I was kinda proud of it.

"Besides game, you mean? An extra 4 inches?" I grinned, doing the final button that keeps my collar sinched with a satisfying snap. Berns, over in the corner and already working on touching up some corroded wiring, snickered.

"Fuck you," Rat spit, literally spit on the floor near my boot, before clomping away to go join in on briefing. 

"Four inches my ass..." He mumbled as he went.

"Yeah, yeah, we've all been in the showers together, jackass!" I called after him. I sat there, feeling pretty good about myself, before-

"Get your ass in here, Private! What is this, a fuckin' pool party?" There was the captain, head and insanely wide shoulders poking their way into the cryo chamber, too impatient to spend the extra few seconds walking into the room proper.

I hurried up and over to central command, nearly tripping over myself as I went. The captain scared the shit out of me when he got loud like that...

Central command worked as a sort of secondary helm. The main helm, located towards the front of the ship and attached to the pilot's cockpit, was a fairly small room meant for just the captain and an attendant or two, and almost never saw any use during freight operations like this. Most functions on the ship were automated, anyways. 

Central command was like the living room of the ship. It was in the exact center of the vessel, and all hallways eventually led back to it. It was located directly above the commons areas. This was the most important room in the vessel, the meeting place, the heart and mind of the freighter vessel. 

Gathered in the room was nearly the whole crew. Leerson was off getting coffee, supposedly, and as a tag-along her presence was not required. 

The engineers like Berns, about a half dozen of them, had been woken up first along with the captain, debriefed, and sent along to check vital components and fix the worst of the damage. 

That left about a dozen of us left, gathered in various chairs and on desk or railings around the circular room. All shivering and weary from wake-up still. 

Everyone here was someone who preferred to sit in a corner, with a back to their wall, and you could tell. Even after years (or more like a month) of travel together, everyone was cagey. No sets of fingers and eyes rested easy, everyone sizing each other up. I had gotten over that paranoid shit long, long, long ago. I just sighed and leaned up against the nearest wall, nodding at the Captain as I did.

"Thank you for joining us, Private." Captain said, smiling sardonically. "Do we have your permission to begin?"

Everyone snickered, especially the Rat.

"At 07:00, Yesterday morning we received a subcontract from upstairs. This isn't a freight contract. It's a Hazmat job. It'll take at least 4 Biomat Certified Technicians, and 2 Hazmat Certified Haulers."

He pauses for a moment.

"Raise your hand if you are Biomat Certified."

I raise my hand, a waifish fellow with long soft arms raises one of them, and so does my beloved... My one and only;

Minerva.

She stood at around 5'8, with milk tallow pale skin and black hair. Gleaming blue eyes; literally neon blue LEDs. She was my white whale. I would never get to her because she wasn't human. She was an android. Soft, plastic soft, skin like pleather seat cushions or latex condoms. Her blood was milk white, which for some reason did things to me.

"Great, so we're short a Biomat."

I think for a moment, then raise my hand.

"Second Private?"

"Dr. Leerson is Biomat Certified." I say, and a few people in the room whistle.

The captain ignores it. As long as the trains arrive on time, so to speak, he could care less what we get up to. I watch him think for a moment, star maps, navigation routes, and fuel costs flashing behind his eyes. Weighing the pros and cons, like he always did. After a moment, he nods.

"It'll save us a trip or two, then." says the Captain after a moment. I let myself feel a little proud and useful for a moment, before the feeling fades. Rapidly.

"And I believe most of the rest of you are Hazmat certified." A few murmurs of assent. A couple of nods. 

"So. Onto the next thing..."

The rest of the briefing passes by normally. Captain reiterating that, yes, we will be rationing our food and other supplies until we touch down after the Hazmat job, and the usual groans that accompany that.

Only Minerva, me, and a couple of other old star-dogs don't complain. You'd think after the first dozen or so wake up cycles they'd learn, but, apparently not. I couldn't help but get a little nostalgic- or was that the right word?- had I been so slow to learn, too? So terrestrial? 

Terrestrial was an odd word these days. It meant a lot of things. It was used to describe everything from nostalgia, familiarity, immaturity, primal emotions, and a lack of space legs. People had a lot of complicated feelings about where we'd started. 

The homeworld, Earth, had been lost for ages now. No one knew for how long, or exactly when it had happened, just that one day, Earth was gone. Not destroyed, or crumbled, or uninhabitable, but actually lost. Amongst bureaucracy and papers and legalities and name changes; we couldn't find the birthplace of our species anymore. Among all other stars, planets, satellites, moons, and generation ships-

Earth was lost. 

At least, that's how it was phrased. That's how people interpreted it, and I couldn't blame them. When you'd never even seen the damn thing, never felt fresh green grass between your toes or breathed in oxygen that wasn't filtered, well, it was no wonder they didn't realize the truth. That it wasn't Earth that had strayed too far from the porch and gotten lost in that deep, dark forest, never to return.

It was humans. They simply lost themselves.

One day, thousands and thousands of years after we scattered our terraformers across the stars, we built our cities. We turned the void of nothing between stars into our freeways.

Then, that old house Earth simply disappeared into that cosmic infrastructure. A grain of sand in a silo of gravel. Surely, it was out there, and there are even a few theories of which planet it could be, or where it went. 

One day nobody knew where Earth was. It only existed in stories. Very, very few had ever been there and known it. 

Anyway, I got over that existentialism a while ago. Personally, I'm grinning like an idiot with my dick bulging out as I stare at Leerson.

Debrief was simple.

It was a biological sampling, taken from a jungle planet that was only a 2 month detour from our route. And right now, with how much it paid; we could eat all this random beef byproduct and pay back the Krueger Deli Co with plenty to spare. I'm talking retirement money. Go get on a tropical island planet and jack off into a coconut all day money. Or, whatever rich people do.

Leerson came back with two mugs of coffee, ceramic and plain, with the company's logo on the side. Terrestrial. Quaint.

She sidled up next to me and passed me one without saying anything, a cream and three sugars in it without me having to ask her. Leerson could be a real sweetheart when she wanted to.

"You're Biomat Technician certified?" the Captain asked, eyeing the cup of coffee jealously. Everyone on this ship subsisted fairly heavily on the cafeteria coffee, and the Captain was one of the worst caffeine addicts aboard. Coffee beans were one of the few things we were allowed to be liberal with.

"Yessir." she replied, smiling politely. I scowled back at all jealous glares I was getting as I sipped my delicious fucking coffee.

"We'll go over what you missed later." Cap grumbled. "For now, the usual game plan goes: repairs and maintenance. I want extra effort out of all of you, too. We're adding an extra 2 months to our route and I don't want any busted filters or malfunctioning rods, am I clear?"

"Yes, sir," came the weary reply from the crew. The Captain's eyebrow twitched.

"Say it like you fucking mean it."

"Yes, sir!"

The captain smiled, just a little. 

"Dismissed." He said, and everyone made a beeline for the cafeteria. After a moment of storming footsteps, it was just me and Leerson left in command. Sipping our coffees in tandem. She took hers black with a lot of sugar. 

More on some days, less on others. I smiled at her, but I had to mostly force it.

"What's all the commotion, then?" She asked, a Neuvian accent. Neuvian sounded like old world British, with a slowness and methodicalness that sounded almost Japanese in nature. 

The only reason I have any context to old-world accents is because of the stash of Westerns and Samurai movies the captain kept on-board. Old-world media is always in high demand; and companies make billions simply finding and restoring old vinyls.

"Some new contract sent down from management. Biological sampling. Hazardous materials, so it's pay is insane. I'm sure cap will give you a cut for helping out."

I say, trying to delay another sip of the bitter coffee. It was so dark today. She's grinning and munching on a tin-foil wrapped coffee cake. I wanted to taste her coffee breath in that moment.

"Oooh, exciting. Think it's an alien?" She said, giggling. Uhg. I wanted to swim laps in her. She was fucked the second we docked somewhere.

"No, probably just a bio-weapon or Malaria or something."

I take a long sip of the warm coffee.

I am a comms technician, besides just being a hauler and a decent repairman. So, today, my jobs included sending out our status report, getting in contact with the jungle planet's SatComms, to establish a timeline, and hopefully getting head from Leerson under my desk at some point.

I'm writing up the first status report when Minerva enters the room. She has that pleasant grin, like a cat's or a crocodile's. Always sly and a little smug. She knows something you don't.

"Good evening, beautiful." I say as she steps in, squeezing in a few looks over her amazing frame between looking at the screen I'm typing on. It was all analog here. Digital wasted too much power. Digital wishes it could have double-D tits on a shortstack body. 

She laughs gently, covering her grin with a dainty hand, before carrying over manifests and maintenance reports to my desk to be bounce-faxed.

"Here you go, Camuth. Those reports that you requested."

"Thank you, ma'am."

"Please, Minerva will do fine."

"What about goddess?"

She lets out a long, playful sigh.

"It's flattering, sweetheart. I'm not that kinda synth though." She says shaking her heard slightly.

"When we touch down, can I buy you dinner sometime?"

"When we get back, I will be put back into company assets."

"Can't have shit in space." I whisper to myself.

She rolls her glowing eyes, turning on her heel and honest-to-god sashaying away. I could swear she's putting extra swing into her hips just to fuck with me. 

I sigh and roll my eyes towards the ceiling. 

She could crush my skull like a fucking melon and I'd tell her thanks. 

Or I'd try to. It'd probably sound more like "hoouggchhh" to be honest.

"Such a greedy little thing," said Leerson between sips of coffee. 

I had almost forgot she followed me to my office.

"The heart wants what the heart wants, honey." I said.

"And the cock wants what the cock wants." She said, voice flat. She let a manicured hand rest on my inner thigh. Leerson had long, sturdy arms that let her reach over counters and on top of high shelves. They were just a little too long for her body, which did something for me. She took another long drink of her coffee, not breaking eye contact.

"That too, yes." My voice came a little hushed.

Siiiip...

"You always go still." She sets the coffee down behind her without looking. Ka-thunk. "Like you're waiting for a storm to pass."

"I'm just... taking it in." I say. My eyes dance over her. Her lips, her eyes, the zipper that's starting to undo itself from her tit's sheer mass. Lord. 

"I think... you're just," Leerson steps into my space, facing me, pressing me up against the desk I'm half sat on and staring at me.

"A scared little creature..." 

I lick my lips.

"Like... a squirrel?"

Her eyes curl into a look of confusion, and she giggles before she pounces on me. Lips and tongue way too eager, parting mine, spreading me open, invading me. Her teeth scrape, not sure if she's just that reckless or if she has to draw blood every time we make out. A fistful of my hair and my jumpsuit.

"I dreamed about this in cryo," she pants, wrenching my hair back so she can breathe into my ear. I stare at the floor and rut my cock against the tight spot in her jumpsuit between her legs, growing tighter as I get close to fucking her, abusing the plyable space-suit.

"Y-You can't dream in cryo, your brain-" I start to speak.

She kisses me again, filling my mouth with her spit.

I can't really recall what happened next. At one point she was licking the inside of my ear. She made me say "I'm your dog." over and over again, until she punched me in the stomach. Before I knew it, I was laid out across my desk, with my head awkwardly pressed against the terminal that was hard-wired in.

We both moan as I enter her slightly, her hips working as she stands above me and the desk. She had just finished sucking my dick; biting my thighs and ass hard enough that I'm sure I'll be bruised.

My cock twitches, and Lord, I'm about to ruin both of our suits and really give the Captain something to bitch about when-

She throws my head and body back, away from her, by the tangled grips of hair and fabric she was just holding onto like a lifeline. My head bangs against the wall, my breath coming in quick and panicked, and she unsheaths herself from me. My ears are still ringing by the time her jumpsuit is back on. I didn't cum. She might have.

Dr. Leerson smiles at me, spit still glistening around her mouth, hair messed up. 

"See you later," she wiggles her fingers, and turns to go. But not before I catch a glimpse of how soaked through the crotch of her jumpsuit is. Lord. She turns and leaves, walking almost as magnificently as Minerva had just a few moments ago.

She's a memory, just the smell of sex in the air and your dick still refusing to give up. She was going to walk all the way to her lab like that too, the absolute animal. She's lucky everyone knows what I'd do to em' if they even looked at her funny.

I lean my head on my desk for a second to re-cooperate myself. She was absolutely hungry, absolutely cruel. Nothing but absolutes with this girl. No middle sliders. I've shared bunk with a pantheon of freight-hiking hobos and hippies, lots of girls of the night and girls of the street and girls of the whatever the fuck else. 

No one had ever been nearly as insatiable as Dr. Amelia Leerson.

I think I'm in love. Or pregnant, I don't know, anyway, I scoop myself up off the desk and try to focus on the papers. Try is the keyword, because I have to shamefully jerk off twice to even muster half focus; after all of that.

Our next destination is nicknamed Osiris. It's designation is P-333, and It's Planetary consultant sounds half drunk when I call.

"Calling 16-43, This is Starfreight Demeter."

"Mmm what?"

I sigh.

"Starfreight Demeter, Calling in a land notice for... 43 days from now. Do you copy?"

"Copy... Watch out around landing time. That's monsoon season."

I yawn, this man's exhausted energy like a contagious flu.

"Copy, Thank you PlaCo."

Next, is to bounce-fax our reports to central command, or CeCo if you are feeling frisky. To bounce a fax is to send it careening through a semi-privatized string of local satellites until it reaches it's destination. You "bounce" it from satellite to satellite. It takes a while, but is incredibly cheap. 

After that, I smoke a cigarette while reading the last chapter of some fantasy novel. The dragon was actually the wizard all along, by the way. 

After that, When its around 14:23, thats Camuth's Special Hour. I setup my vinyl player, and plug it into the mic port. It plays it over the intercom. I keep all my old world vinyls under my desk. Today, I'm playing Talking Heads: 77 by Talking Heads, then it's The Doors by The Doors. Old worlders were incredibly creative when naming records.

After that I turn on 10 minutes of Thelonius Monk, and then I finish it with Califronia Uber Alles by Dead Kennedys, and then some old nations national anthem. The American One, not the canadian one; although that was equally funny.

Halfway through, I take a coffee and smoke break in the cafeteria.

"You're such a freak," said a voice from one of central's many, many entrances.

I turned in time to see a pale figure dragging a chair towards me. It was Sierpinski, one of the clones on crew. They were lanky, pale, with clear signs of clone degeneration tearing through them.

Besides the normal space-freighter paleness, Sierpinski was albino, with long fine hair, almost no body hair, and wine colored eyes that shined red when a bright light was near. They never removed their helmet on sunny planets. 

Sierpinski, who didn't have a first name, had dodged the worst of the potential degenerative cloning symptoms. Excessive or misplaced facial hair. Various types of baldness. Increased risk of cancer, which Sierpinski did have, but at least they weren't sprouting tumors yet. 

All things considered, Sier looked more like a beautiful wax figure than a half-baked copy of some old fuck's genetic code, sold off to a company for half price and high profits. Now, like most sold-off clones, they were used for dangerous and cheap labor, usually doing the jobs that were deemed too risky for normal workers.

"You ever gonna play normal music for us one day, Cam?" asked Sier, sitting backwards in the chair and grinning cock-eyed at me.

"You call that corpo synthesized trash you play 'normal'?" I grin back, and we trade a little handshake we made up together. Just a short thing. Sierpinski is one of my few other friends on this ship, and the only one of those that I hadn't fucked.

"At least the rest of the crew doesn't want to, uh, dig my eyes out with a spork."

"And how long you think that'll last when you keep hanging out with my ass, hmm?" 

"Hopefully not much longer," Sier's grin turned positively shit eating. "I'm getting tired of visiting you." 

We both chuckled as Sier rested their cheek on top of their arms, on the back of their chair, looking at me. 

"So... whatcha think about this hazmat job?" They asked after a second, faux casual.

"It's weird, so I'm leaning towards military subcontracting. If I cared I would research the corpo that handed it down the line to us, but I don't. Jobs a job."

They sigh a little, and look over their shoulder for prying eyes.

"Listen, I got something I need to show you."

"Oh yeah?" I ask.

They sigh.

"Alright so I'm a bit of an eavesdropper right?"

They hand over a small camera. Mini-digi. About as small as a digital camera could get, and it was still viewfinder sized. I look into it's port at the loaded picture. It's of a monitor, in Minerva's lab. That lab doubled as Leermans at the moment. The screen was a readout, order from command that Synths practically absorb like scripture. It simply read;

PROTECT CARGO AT ALL COSTS

ALL OTHER PRIORITIES WAIVERED

CREW EXPENDABLE

"Huh."

That's all that leaves my lips as I stare at the picture in mild bemusement. 

No. Befuddlement.

"Weird right?"

"I'm sure it's fine. The contract is bloody expensive." 

Long sip of coffee. Pause. Both of us ponder the other alternatives.

"So why is it Biomat and Hazmat?"

"What do you mean?"

They sat upright in the chair, stashing the camera away in a satchel.

"Thirteen parsecs ago, a few crews before this one. I ran a militarized virus cargo. We only needed Hazmats. Biomat is usually reserved for..."

They sip their coffee, puff on a cigarette.

"Live Animals." I finish for them, realizing what they were panicking about.

"Okay, that one is pretty weird. Maybe the virus is in a monkey." I say, laughing a bit.

They smile, but it's weak. Wracked with concern.

"Something else." They say, Cylav accent shining like an old 80s communist bad guy.

"Uhuh."

"On the Buzzers. Talking with loved ones. I tell them 'we're going to Osiris.' They think it's strange."

"Why's that?"

"Osiris has been under quarantine for the past six months. They refused emergency landing to three separate vessels. That's illegal." They say.

"Huh..." 

"So you see where I'm going with this?"

"Yeah, it's sketchy, but-" 

"But what? We cannot take on this job." 

"Oh, so what, we just quit?" I felt my eyebrow twitch in frustration. Sierpinski had a nasty habit of thinking they were always fucking right. 

"We just go home, yeah? Take one of the shuttles and a paycut to fuel it and call it a day, yeah? Maybe we can share one and split the costs."

"Fuck you." Sier sighs, leaning away from me and sitting up straight in their stupid wide legged stance, the back of the chair like a wall between us.

"C'mon, Cam, you've been around longer than any of us. Even longer than Cap, depending on how you count it. You know this isn't right. I can see it in your eyes." Sierpinski sounds defeated. They stare at the floor.

"And what do you want me to do, Sier? You're my friend, but we're powerless here. You know that too."

"Sure, but we could talk to the Capt-"

"Who would say exactly what I'm saying. And then if- if we got him on side, what would he do? Talk to some lackey of the boards, and up and up and up-"

I sigh. 

"It's too late. We'll never climb that ladder in time. Don't you see?"

I wait for Sier to look me in the eyes again before I finish. 

"It's already too late."

...

"So we may as well do damn good job of it, yeah?" I propose.

"Yeah," Sier sighs, not meeting my gaze anymore.

"Listen," I grab their knee, my squeeze going straight from gentle and reassuring to manic and panicked. "It's just a hazmat. We follow protocol, we play it careful, and we're fine. Like any other job." 

Sier stood up and left in a hurry, pausing once they hit the entrance to the nearest hallway.

"Our job," they said the word like a swear, "has a 63.9% mortality rate. That's not even counting the clones."

And then they were gone, and I was alone again.

------------------------------------------------------------

Me and Leerson bang a few times, dinner, sleep, breakfast; maintenance, and then after dinner that night, we all toast with some of the last vodka we have onboard.

Дай Боже! God help us.

We all get drunk, and myself and Leerson sloppily give each other head in the cryo room ten minutes before nap time.

Then, we all lay down. We all sleep. The big sleep. 

....

Two months later, the routine happens. This time, I get the bad pod. Or I'm just hungover, because when I wake up my brain is broiling practically. I groan loudly. You weren't supposed to get in these things drunk. 

Something Something average freezing point of your blood. Something Something brain damage. 

Whatever, I'd done it plenty of times.

And I was perfectly fine.

Coffee, Even Cap is quiet as we all shuffle to the main quarters. The center table is a circle, a huge one that fits all 26 crew members. Leerson practically sitting on my lap as we both chug coffee and eat tin-foil wrapped cornbread. She snuck Elysian Honey in her carryon. 

Having a huge dick really has it's perks. Like honey on cornbread.

I'm putting on a pressure suit; Replacing an antennae.

Something dinked us while we were asleep and almost gave center command a heart attack. Leerson corners me in the airlock bay and kisses me deeply; before plugging in my larynx-chord, and helping me with my helmet. 

"Stay safe out there."

"Oh honey, don't worry ... ... ... Done thousands of these." I say, through the oxygen injector cutting my sentence in half and forcing my breath back down my throat.

She nods, and I step into the airlock. She closes the door, and suddenly in my ear, I hear Sier's voice.

"Alright, let's do this nice and safe today, ja?"

"Who let an alcholic cloned ... ... commie monkey ... ... operate CommSat?"

"Eat shit,  Cammy."

"No thank you, but ... ... ...  maybe piss if I'm drunk enough."

This makes them laugh. The suspense of the wait. You gotta time things well in these suits.

The airlock depressurizes, and suddenly I'm living life in a ziplock bag. Void pinching around me.

I actually love this feeling, once my eyes and the rest of my body adjust and I can stop squinting. 

Spacewalks were peaceful, to me. I didn't really fear for my life or get wildly anxious about falling out into space like some of the more terrestrial crew members. It was like any other job. Just do it right, and you don't get any problems. 

And there was the tether besides. Motherfuckers always forgot the tether.

So yeah, Cap usually gave me this job, which suited everyone just fine. The rest of the crew probably would have drawn and quartered me by now if I wasn't the designated Space Walker™.

I take a deep breath of filtered air, my favorite, and let my gaze sweep out over the fields of stars. There was nothing out here, no suns close enough to hurt my eyes through my horrifically thick and deeply tinted helmet visor.

I turned- the automatic air jets in my suit activating in tune with my muscle movements and responding to me, allowing me to move in Zero G. 

I'd used far, far clunkier suits, heavy things that controlled more like tanks with too much momentum and often led to first time space walkers splattering themselves on the hulls of their ships. 

Even though the suits were far sleeker and almost completely automated these days, that imagery had never left. People still had images of splintered bones and mangled metal, burst O2 canisters sending tiny beads of blood out, out, into space, forever drifting with the inertia of a wasted death.

Couldn't be me. Skill issue to be honest.

There, past the helm of the ship, was one star that was maybe five times larger than the pinpricks around it. A small ink blot of white light that shone through the darkness like a beacon. Our job lay there, more or less.

I whistle a workman tune, comedically interjected with the oxygen tubes forcing my lungs to expand, while I kneel in position, starting to unscrew the original antennae, and getting the new one ready. The old one's tip is broken off and melty. Poor thing. 

I tuck the scrap metal into my pack, and then get to work rewiring it's base, making sure everything is still steady. 

I could practically tap dance out here if I wanted to. The artificial gravity always made these things a cake walk. Just don't be an idiot. 

And pray a meteor too small for your radar to pickup doesn't come.

"Hey, Cam, You hear the Ceruvian Civil War ended?"

"No shit?"

"Mhm, The rebels won too. Silicosteel Corp made some deal with them and now have mineral rights."

"Huh. Well ... ... ... I guess it's better than ... ... ...nothing."

I'm stepping back to the hull but... I turn back and look at the ink blots. I grab my view finder and look out. At the speed we were going, we'd be arriving in 26 hours. I zoom in.

Osiris. The planet is covered in dense storm clouds. It sits grey. It looks sickly. Doesn't help the pit in your stomach as you watch hurricane clouds swarm and swirl.

"Cam?"

I jump and little, and grip hard on the viewfinder.

"Everything good?"

"Yeah, sorry, I was... starspotting."

"Mhm, well c'mon cowgirl, you are wasting o2."

The airlock hisses and pressurizes behind you. The room fills with matter. You swim in it again as you start to twist your helmet off. 

On the other side is a short, tiny femboy. 

He would punch you if he heard you say that, but he was. Cricket is what everyone called him. Everyone also made him clean the vents for that reason. He was holding a clip board, and looking up at me.

"Hey, cutie."

"Don't."

I snicker, and start to zip off the pressure suit. Cricket was the ship's Nutrition Officer. Basically, he handled the food, cooked and freeze dried everything between wake-ups. 

He actually wakes up three days before us to make sure all of our food is up to code. Which is why he always looked exhausted. 

One time he had fallen asleep on my chest while we were watching some alien movie on the television.

To over exert my point, Cricket had never even let our hands touch when he handed me food. Still, he worked harder than most of us.

"I need you to authorize the credit charges for rations."

"Oh, ... ... ...  and what if I don't?" I ask, and then finally rip the tubes out of my nostrils, with an unflattering gag.

"Then I'll feed you the leaking xerox gel out of the radiator."

I laugh, and took his papers. End of shuttle shit. Everyone for the next few weeks was going to need their papers signed and faxed. Papers they were supposed to do months ago.

"Okay honey."

"Thanks." He said, eye twitching ever so slightly. 

I couldn't help it, really. It was compulsive. I'd told him so before. 

He'd said I should kill myself about it. Once, he'd threatened to call HR on me. I just laughed and told him to go ahead. 

I laughed even harder when the Captain told Cricket to, and I quote: "Suck it up." 

So good.

I looked down at the shortstack and smiled my best crocodile smile. The one that drove him crazy. Cricket's nose wrinkled and he made a noise of disgust. 

"You are an animal, you know that?" 

"We're all animals baby," I replied, leaning forward. "Lemme show you what animals do-"

WHAP

Cricket slapped me in the face. Full palm, hard. Hard enough that I knew my face would be red for a few minutes after. I blinked in shock and rocked back on my heels. 

Ah, my old friend... 'Did I just get hit?'

Cricket is already stomping away in his chunky space boots by the time I'm back to my senses. I let out a low whistle. 

"What a woman," I say to no one in particular.

"That 'woman' is a 5'4" man who could kill you with his bare hands if he wanted to."

I jump, forgetting that my headset isn't attached to my spacer helmet.

"I'd rather he break my neck with those thighs of his. Mmmh." I pause after a moment. 

"So you heard that, huh?"

"Ooh yes. A real solid one, eh? Your mic peaked." Sierpinski replies.

"I think I'm in love."

"I will never understand you."

"He has hips that make me wanna get him pregnant. Simple biological urges, Sier."

"You are a fucking idiot."

"I know, I know. You better not be recording this session."

"I already deleted the archive."

I grin and put a cigarette to my lips. Face still stinging. I'm about to go rail Leerson over her little research table, maybe even make Minerva watch for as long as it takes her to leave the room. But then;

"Second Private Syntrax, Please report to garden bay for rewiring duty."

I grit my teeth. That's Nutritional Officer grounds. I bet Cricket was thrilled to hear that announcement. 

I have one of those changes of hearts that come with really not wanting to push someone to the actual point of murder. Last couple of jumps. Then we're all home. 

I pickup a toolbox on the way over, and slap Jameson's ass as I walk past him. He's one of two physicians onboard. He laughs, and points a meaty finger at me.

"See you on the court tonight, bitch." He says.

"You'll wish you hadn't when I'm done porking your shit."

I turn the corner and the shit eating grin turns sour. 

I punch in access to the greenhouse. This part of the ship was very important. So, I get misted with sterilizing agent and then step through a tent flap, after putting on a clear plastic body suit. I have to put all the tools through a wash too.

Cricket is sitting in the corner, by a access panel next to a display.

"Hey, I wanted to apologi-"

"No." He says.

Cricket sighs, and shakes their head. Speaking delicately and angrily in a way that made my head spin.

"No, just... I shouldn't of laid hands on you. It was unprofessional." He says, crossing his arms.

I shrug, sorting my toolbox back together as they all come out of the sterilizer.

"No, It's okay, I get it. I've been chasing you for a while now, you are straight and I'm sure i-"

"What? I am not straight." He says.

A moment of quiet sits between us as I move closer to the wiring. 

"Why do you hate me so much then?"

"Because you are persistent and annoying. And greasy. and an alcoholic. Not to mention, even if I were straight, you are a girl, no?"

"Well... You got me there." I say, sighing. We both sit in silence for a second.

"I'm... I'm sorry. This detour has just got me all frazzled. We were barely gonna pull through our original course there, with half rations. We're going to be down to... Spirulina pucks and Protein paste, disgusting." He says, sighing.

I'm disconnecting some faulty wires, and reattaching new wires while I listen.

"You are a really good chef. I'm sure you'll figure something out." I say, absent mindedly as I work.

He sighs a little, and looks up at the UV lights that were currently awake.

"Why did you start working freight?" He asks.

"Paying for my surgeries and hormones. After my first few runs all my friends were dead. Figured I just keep doing this."

I spark a soldering iron a few times, testing it's battery pack, before sitting back and looking at the wires as if they were a beautiful art piece.

"What about you?" I ask.

"It started with a way to see the worlds. See other culture's cuisines. But... I don't really even know anymore. At a certain point it just became cornbread and diet schedules..."

He laughed a little, but it's sour. A heavy silence. I close the panel, and stand upright.

"We still have all that synthyolk from that misdelivery right?"

"Mhm, Why?" He asks.

"And plenty of flour, right?"

"Always."

We step into the sterile-locker room and put our used jumpsuits in the dirty bins.

"Well... Maybe tonight you could whip up a pasta. Watch one of those Ceruvian monster movies you like so much?" I ask.

He's quiet, thinking as we walk out of the green house together.

"Leerson stowed away some Elysian Prawns in the freezer. I think she forgot about them." I say, maybe sweetening the deal.

"You aren't going to try to fuck me the whole time?"

I scoff a little.

"I'll do my best not to be a horny weirdo."

He grins a little.

"It's a date then." He says, squeezing my hand. I can still feel the outline of his slap and for some reason those two combined stimuli make my dick throb.

"You sure you wanna use that word with me?" I raise an eyebrow.

Cricket half shrugs, clearly trying not to get pissed at me again already. 

"Just be good. Please?"

"Oh, I'll be sooo good."

Cricket drops my hand like a sack of bricks and walks away. Not quite storming off. 

Me and my big fucking mouth. But hey, I still had a date for tonight. His words, not mine. I try to muster up the energy to feel bad about it and find myself coming up short. Oh well.

Right before the short... man? walks out of sight, he turns back around, face is that familiar annoyed mask that I'm used to again. He opens his mouth once, twice, then closes it again.

"I'll see you later," he says finally, and leaves.

I sigh, and barely have enough time to oogle him before I'm tightening connector-pins again.

[waitmyturtles]

I haven’t had my morning coffee yet, haven’t seen any of the trailers or nothin’, but first reactions are:

1) If Aof is writing the script for the KristSingto show, then I am watching (but remember what happened with the original screenplay for Last Twilight so I’m also a little 😬)

2) Girl needs to know who’ll be writing the screenplay for The Heart Killers; remember the last time Jojo got to direct some ships 😬 (not sure I can watch this unless it’s amazing)

3) I AM SO HAPPY FOR BOUN AND BOUNPREM. Multiple shows for Boun!

Old-ish vets working hard, doing their thing, being patient over so many years. So, so happy for them.

4) MarkOhm, very excited for this. Baby Ohm lookin’ good

5) I got Junior Panachai (and I love JuniorMark) back, but whoa, in a JittiRain show with ForceBook and PerthChimon, in a New Siwaj show, whew? I need caffeine and more fact-checking lol, and a massage for the whiplash

6) Another GL directed by Fon Kanittha. Hoping for the best with the Us screenplay, I hope it hews back more towards the community building that Fon is doing very well with in My Precious the series right now, and back in 10 Years Ticket

7) Fucking glad to see GMMTV pick up a historical lakorn, please make this more of a habit, and I hope they get into BL territory with future historicals (and they’re clearly gonna market the insane hell out of this one with Tu, Tay, Win, and Nanon, wow)

8) Ossan’s Love, I might post more on my feelings after I’ve watched the trailer, if Shan’s skeptical, then I’m worried (where was Moonlight Chicken season 2 I ask)

That’s all I got, need my coffee!

[goldenpinof]

curious about your perspective – what do you think is the primary reason for the current comeback, and for the large scale of it (daily videos, new heavily marketed merch, etc)? are they trying to make up some monetary loss? is it true revitalized passion? the influence of the new management? lead-up to a major project/announcement? i'm guessing there's an element of at least the first three, but interested in your opinion as a noted non-cynical cynic (compliment btw)

under the cut because that's a lot. and it's not even all of my thoughts, unfortunately.

no one is gonna read it. but if you are, i'm sorry in advance.

ahaha. about merch. did you notice how they just continue to promote the calendar and the catboy sweater even though the initial release and promo had a deadline aka till December 1st? this is a fishy marketing right there. and i would love to know: why they did what they did (i'd assume they printed more calendars than people ordered by Dec 1st, but that's not our problem as customers. we shouldn't have been put into a framework in the 1st place if there was a chance for this shit to go south. this theory goes against the "pre-order" with a start of shipping in 2-3 weeks); why their managers allowed it (from a legal perspective); and why dnp didn't say anything. anyways.

i do think that Dan is trying to compensate for wad losses. and i know that he was "joking" about not making money or making negative money on tour. but i saw ticket sales a day before each show (only public information, not the inside official data from venues), it's still on my blog. and the sales didn't look good. so, how much of it was a joke? and compensating by making content that we and they enjoy isn't a bad thing, btw! i also think that he feels guilty for leaving us and the dnp brand behind for so long without actually giving us anything in return. thus so many comments on this 5-year hiatus and potential future ones. blame youtube originals, i know. not really his fault, but his choice of (the lack of) communication is his fault. and again, i always come back to wad. something fucking clicked in his head when he saw not as many people as he hoped for (or expected), how dedicated were some of those who still supported him during wad, and also he realised that without stronger managers he was not gonna make it solo. and he dragged Phil along because they do everything together and only then it works the best, and also dnpg's return in full force needed new energy for the amount of sponsorships they decided to do (i think, it's mainly Phil's pushing, because he is pro-sponsorships, they just need to be more careful with it on dnpg because Dan (hopefully) has principles when it comes to this. which is amazing. you go, girl!)

i'm very suspicious of dnp's new management right now. so idk. i think, again, most of it comes from Phil, because Phil thrives on their gaming channel, and that's basically the only easy way to survive on youtube and make money right now (for him). i'm glad dnp separated dnpg from their solo careers at least on the management and content levels. it gives Phil the room to use dnpg as a brand to pitch and fund his ideas/projects if it's ever needed. and now, after we survived the hiatus, they can pause dnpg for a couple of months to focus on their solo projects without losing the majority of the audience because technically we would know the reason and also we grew a thicker skin.

i do think that Dan is using dnpg to later help himself with a stand-up special or tour or some sort of series (danisnotokay). i also think he will use it to promote wad dvd (which is good. i will be disappointed if he doesn't use dnpg. like, bitch, why are we even here then? those who went through wad with him, i mean). i wonder if Inter Talent (i'm separating their name intentionally at his point because they piss me off) was smart enough to announce Dan and Phil's signings 2 weeks after UTA announced Dan to just make us pay attention to Dan's solo career again. as a hint of something coming our way. you know what i mean? i wonder if it was intentional. like UTA made a huge announcement, Dan retweeted it and posted it on instagram stories. it was a big deal. meanwhile, dnpg began thriving again and our eyes were on Dan anyway, so of course we noticed that solo career was on the maps again. Inter Talent was basically silent as another representative of Dan (and Phil), despite having them on the website for at least a month. and now 2 weeks after UTA's announcement (which was on November 22, 2023) Inter Talent was like, "hello? do you remember we signed Dan? and also Phil, and their joint channel?" Dan said wad dvd is almost cooked. wouldn't it be genius to stir our interest up step by step? (a part of me still thinks that Inter Talent's social media managers are just slow as fuck though. also they don't even care to check facts about their clients. UTA didn't fuck the announcement up like that, btw. and i doubt Inter Talent realises how nosy dnp's audience is, and that we are very likely gonna notice and spread even this stupid announcement. maybe they are dumb and it's me who is a fucking genius planning steps to present wad dvd to the masses, ugh. when will Dan pay me, like for real.)

i'm surprised you don't think it's heavily connected to new projects. i would bet my kidney it does. Dan will fuck off the moment he needs to focus on danisnotokay or someone offers to sponsor another tour (which, please, someone do. i need to see him for professional reasons). the question is, fuck off for how long and if it's gonna be communicated thoroughly or not. i'm not saying he will leave for 6 months without giving us something in return to balance things out. no, no, no. i don't think he would dare. but 3-4 weeks, maybe 2 months? sure.

is it true revitalized passion? well. *nervous laughter* i'm gonna defend Phil like i'm a phillie, even tho i'm not. he wanted it just as much as we did. so i believe it's a true revitalized passion at least on his part. i hope he fights for it if it's necessary, i hope he asks us for help if needed. i hope he threatens Dan with an actual divorce and forever home if needed. like, bitch, if there's a chance to keep dnpg alive without Dan actually losing his will to live, we should use that chance. Dan's stubbornness and delulus are not the reason to kill the most fun and profitable thing they ever created aka dnp brand. let it exist, even if alongside solo projects, even if it's 2-3 videos a month. damn, even 1 video (i don't mean during pauses made specifically for the peaks of solo projects). i do think Dan enjoys the attention, money, and possibilities their returned audience can give him. he also enjoys working with Phil. he certainly does not enjoy promoting their videos. and he is lucky he has Phil for that. is it a true passion for the gaming channel and joint branding solemnly? i genuinely don't think so. now, this dnp brand puts Dan into a framework, unfortunately. and i understand his desire to grow as a "strong independent Dan", and i wish him the best. i will root for him no matter how much of a floppy-ding-dong it can potentially be. i want him to fulfill his dreams and have a team that will fight for his interests. and i hope to god, UTA and Inter Talent are the ones. don't fucking tempt me with your unprofessionalism. but do i think Dan's head and heart belong to dnpg or dnp brand? no. i'm happy that he is at least trying. a part of me doesn't even care about the reason. i'm curious, but in hindsight, it wouldn't matter or change anything.

other thoughts, because apparently i decided to vomit on a keyboard tonight:

i'm glad dnp took back a bit of control over the editing on dnpg. i hope they will try to edit more themselves when gamingmas is over. or they will teach their editors better. because man, we need to slow down with these cuts.

i do think that dnp brand will expand, and dnpg and merch aren't the only things we should expect. (twitch, podcast or liveshows, onlyfans or its equivalent, vlogging series not limited by ditl, and other things that i forgot). reaction videos are already a thing and it's very funny because it's what youtube wants, so Dan must feel amazing right now falling for it :)) it's good thought because it's fun and torture for all parties involved.

i think by these reaction videos they are trying to rewrite their internet history a little bit for those who are new. it's not gonna work with us but at least dnp can control the narrative in new people's heads (i wonder for how long though).

with new people, the phandom will become more generic and dnp will love that. it can actually help Dan with new projects i think. Phil as well, but we don't know shit about it right now.

i wonder if Dan returns to working with charities.

if they involve more phannies, not only artists, it's gonna be interesting.

in case i'm wrong, don't step on my neck, i don't know anything for a fact. half of it is alleged, the other half is wishful thinking <3

[ohfugecannada]

Groot’s many backstories

So earlier I saw this post by @alastorgould where he over some of the many versions of Rocket’s backstories, eventually writing his own take on it that combined elements of all of them. It’s a pretty good summary of Rocket’s past and it’s many incarnations in the comics, cartoons and MCU etc and I highly recommend you check it out along with his rocket and halfworld related art/fics.

Anyway, It inspired to make my own post going over some of the backstories/incarnations of my personal favourite gotg character: Groot. Because A) as mentioned, he’s my fave, and imo one of the more underrated Guardians members out of the core 5, and B) Groot actually has quite a few takes on his backstory already through not only multiple retcons in the 616 comics continuity but also through several multi-media adaptations of the Guardians of the Galaxy franchise. And I thought it would be fun to share some of them with you all.

Obviously, this isn’t gonna cover every single piece of media Groot has been in/has had his backstory mentioned etc. But I did my research and tried my best to cover a good chunk of the most notable continuities and adaptations.

Also, I haven’t read the entirety of every comic Groot is in ever (I.E. the latest gotg Grootfall/Grootrise story arc) so forgive me if I get a few details wrong. If there are any die hard gotg/Groot comic readers out there, feel free to politely and respectfully correct me on a few things.

The Comics

In the main marvel 616 comics there have been at least 3 different versions of Groot’s backstory and origins. 4 if you count his very first incarnation…

Tales to astonish #13 (+ other King Groot appearances)

King Groot is the giant tree like ruler of Planet-X, and an alien invader who lands on earth to kidnap the humans from a small town in order to take them back to his home planet and experiment on them. Conventional weapons used by the towns military don’t work as this groot is immune to fire and explosives. But thanks to the quick thinking of protagonist human scientist Leslie Evens, king groot is taken down by genetically bred super termites. He seemingly dies in this story but later makes appearances in comics like the Howling Commandos, aiding the team. Most commonly being seen as an inhabitant of Monster Isle. There was a time where it was thought the groot on the guardians of the galaxy was the same groot as king groot (mainly the annihilation: conquest series), but this was later retconned as a different Groot impersonating King Groot. Which brings us to…

Guardians of the Galaxy #14 (2013)/Annihilators #1 and 2 (2012)

Groot was a flora colossus sapling who along with his fellow saplings (also all called groot) were looked after by a group of elder flora colossus called the Arbor Masters. This groot was different from the others as he often brefirended the maintenance mammals; small intelligent mammal like beings who most other flora colossus looked down on as inferior. One day, another group of flora colossai were bulling a squirrel-like maintenance mammal and groot steps in to defend it. After one of the more violent flora colossus nearly kills the mammal, groot snaps and tears the other colossus apart. Presumably killing him. This catches the attention of the Arbor masters, who then have groot banished from the planet via a space ship.

This groot would later go on to impersonate king Groot and join the team that would become the Guardians of the galaxy, in Annihilation Conquest: Starlord #1, where he’d first meet his teammate and future bff Rocket Raccoon. The way he was written in annihilation conquest made it seem like he was the same character as King Groot, but this was later retconned in Annihilators #1 and 2 as well as Guardians of the Galaxy #14.

Groot vol.1 (2015)

My personal favourite comic origin for groot. (Also literally the best version of Groot in any media ever dont @ me)

Groot is born on Planet X, where the flora colossus are towering giants who regularly kidnap beings from other planets to preform experiments on them. Groot is disturbed and appalled by the actions of his people but feels powerless to do anything… until one night where he discovers a little human girl, Hannah, being held prisoner in one of the holding pods and decides to help her escape.

After teleporting Hannah away back to Earth, Groot remains behind and destroys the teleportation pad, presumably cutting the flora colossus off from earth, and he is banished by his elders. Groot then wanders the universe for a while, taking in all its wonders and sights, before being thrown in a kree prison where he meets Rocket for the first time. Rocket can’t understand Groot at first, but over the course of months sharing a cell with him, does. After this the two form a fast friendship and break out of prison, becoming bounty hunters/criminals and eventually joining the Guardians.

Groot vol.2 (2023)

One of the most recent and drastically different origins presented in the comics so far.

In this miniseries, Planet-X is a lush forest covered planet and the flora colossus, unlike the other comic origins, are a benevolent and peaceful race of sentient plants ruled over by a giant matriarch tree called Granopy. She looks after and tells stories to a child groot and his two friends Tweeg and Gleef.

One day their forest gets burnt by a gang of mercenaries known as The Spoilers, led by an evil Flora colossus named Agz, and the three get kidnapped. But are freed by a young Mar-vel. Together the four of them, along with an Alpha Centurion hunter called Yondar, fight against the Spoilers and save Planet X. As of writing this, the Grootfall/grootrise arc, which references this miniseries, has only just wrapped up. So It’s not clear if this story is supposed to be a prequel to the 2015 Groot origin or if it’s a full on retcon of it. (Im gonna assume the latter, given how different Flora Colossai are in this compared to the previous origins. Unless Flora Collossus society/planet X as a whole really went down hill after Groot grew up, somehow going from the peaceful forest utopia we see in vol. 2 to the desolate wasteland ruled by an evil king groot in tales to astonish/groot number 6 but I digress) so it’s up in the air for now if/how they connect to each-other…

Origins in other media

As a Marvel multi-media franchise, the Guardians of the Galaxy, and by extension Groot, have had a number of different adaptations and interpretations across various non-comic book mediums including movies, games, tv shows etc. so let’s take a look at four of the most famous ones.

MCU

Weirdly enough, despite this version of Groot (and his son Groot ii aka baby groot) being the most widely known by general audiences thanks to the popularity of the MCU, MCU Groot is the most mysterious when it comes to his origin story. We never get any implications or mentions of it in the entire gotg franchise (outside of a mention of Planet X in the nova police lineup scene in vol.1). The closest we get is an idea James Gunn had planned for a short film about how Groot and Rocket met and a few very brief mentions about it in interviews. In the tweet about the short film idea, James explains Groot was caged up at an intergalactic zoo housing exotic alien creatures and was treated like an animal. Until a worker at the zoo, a robot/cyborg named Tibus Lark, became attached to Groot and helped him escape, becoming his closest friend. Until they found themselves in a hole/prison where Lark and groot would meet Rocket. Being mortally injured, Tibus would explain his and Groot’s story to Rocket before entrusting Groot with Rocket and dying. Rocket would then use the robotic parts of Lark’s body to build his big gun seen in the first gotg and break out of the pit with Groot. Beginning their criminal partnership and (dysfunctional) friendship.

Gotg Disney XD cartoon season 1

In the Disney XD cartoon, Groot grew up on an idyllic and serene Planet X ruled by his father(?), both coming from a long line of flora colossus spanning billions of years who, along with all life on Planet X, all grew from an object known as the world pod. A source of power that exists within groot. Shortly after a day of battle training with his father, the Kree and their leader Ronan invade the planet to mine it of its resources. Dispute the protest of its natives, the planet is burnt to ashes, leaving groot the lone survivor. He’s then taken by the kree and experimented on, along with other kidnapped Earth animals. This is where he meets a newly anthro-ified Rocket, and the two break out together and eventually join the guardians.

Gotg Telltale Game

Like the MCU version, we unfortunately don’t get a look into his backstory, but what we do know from the alternate story path where Rocket stays with Quill and Groot goes with Mantis when the team break up is he is the last of his kind and empathises with mantis greatly because of it.

Gotg Eidos Game

Through conversations with Groot (with Rocket, and later in the game Mantis, translating for Quill), and a few parts of rocket’s conversations, we learn that Groot’s father was the king of Taluhnia (the original native name of Planet X) as well as the other branch worlds. Groot himself wanted to be a forest caretaker so he could care for the plants of Taluhina. In contrast, his father and the arbor masters were corrupt and favoured the needs of the few over the many, and enslaved the sapient animals on Taluhnia. With some saplings even hurting these mammals for fun. Groot however, preferred thier company over the others of his kind due to how nice and smart they were, comparing them to rocket in his convo with Quill and Mantis.

Unfortunately, however, they along with the rest of Taluhnia, would perish after the Chitari would test an experimental doomsday device on the planet. After the planets destruction, the other branch worlds would mobilise an attack, but they were no match for the Chitari and were destroyed as well. Fortunately, groot was able to regrow himself into a smaller sapling form. Making him, as far as he knows, the only survivor. In his smaller form, he would eventually be sold to the collector, but would later be stolen by rocket who raided the whole place while drunk. It’s kind of a mix of the maintenance mammal stuff from the gotg issue 14 story and the general flora Collossus are corrupt stuff from that and groot issue 6, with the alien race wipe out the flora colossus part from the cartoon (though swapping out the Kree for the Chitari this time).

…And that’s it for the most famous Groot origins! Again, this doesn’t include every incarnation of Groot ever, but I think I covered my bases with the most notable continuities. Maybe I’ll have a go at writing my own take on the origin at some point, but for now, I just hope you all enjoyed learning about Groot’s different pasts as much as I did researching them…

Also let me know if there are other, more obscure versions of Groot and his backstory I missed here. I’m always down to learning more Groot lore.

[judasofsuburbia]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love ❤️

thank you so much for thinking of me anon!! i also got tagged by @fastcardotmp3 and @snowangeldotmp3 (love u guys sm one million kisses to you) so i'm gonna compile it all here!!

1. the darkest hour is just before dawn: maybe cheating to do a whole series but i just love this series sm!! this series follows the ST spicy six couples through a zombie apocalypse and she's simply my baby. i'm very proud of this series and hoping to add to it in the future!!

2. wanna be the only one for miles and miles (except for maybe you): my utmost beloved cowboy steddie au<33 as a cowboy enthusiast, y'all must know cowboy/western AUs run in my brain 25/8. so writing outlaw eddie and sheriff steve having a secret romance was such a treat and definitely self-serving <33

3. Sharing your hunger, sharing your life: a post canon hannigram fic about them discovering what they mean to each other through a talk about past lovers!! this fic was very cathartic to write and it encapsulates all the questions i had swirling in my brain after finishing that show. very near and dear to me, hannibal changed my life<3

4. sweet pea, apple of my eye: cheating again with another series BUT!!! my single dad! alex au just fills my cup every time. i loved discovering who alex would be in this situation, what it's like for henry to date a dad, and creating lil ellie in the center of it. i have much more to add to this series and it makes me really excited!!

5. you're such a masterpiece (that's something we should celebrate): feels a lil silly to include my threesome fic in this BUT LISTEN!! baby's first threesome fic AND baby's first crossover fic. a lot of time, dedication, and lamenting about blow job scenes went into this and i'm very proud of the outcome (and originating the tag for this ship, that feels like a gold star achievement to me)<3

[ppeasants]

this is kind of a weird post? idk. it has to do with the future of my time hollow au so if that matters then here's this? (I'M NOT DISCONTINUING IT I LOVE THIS SERIES TOO MUCH i am just having some thoughts about some things I wanted to change, and I just needed to get these thoughts out into the void so people were aware, and so I could actually maybe go through with them)

(also if u do care about it please read all the way to the end so i can properly convey what i'm trying to say as well as what's changing, cause if u stop halfway thru then you'll probably come away with the wrong conclusion)

so I started this AU when I had just finished Owl House. I had not yet really gotten into the fandom, and I was still in the throes of the finale. because of this, I hadn't quite yet developed MY actual sense of what I specifically loved about the show (instead of just loving all of it [which I do love a lot of it]), as well as not specifically developed my own HCs and chartacter dynamics.

now that time has passed and I have been a part of the fandom for a while, I HAVE developed a sense of what I specifically love about this fandom, as well as the stories, themes, HCs and dynamics I want to explore deeper.

all that is just kinds backstory to how I have rotated these characters in my mind, and to give some context to where this change is coming from.

the actual change: I will likely be transitioning the sibling hunter and luz dynamic into a modified lavender winter dynamic with amity and willow, and non-romantic hunter and luz (that bit is important).

when I first started getting into the fandom, some of my first fics i read were sibling hunter and luz. I still love those fics, and tbh I still absolutely ADORE sibling hunter and luz. but, I think for the story I want to share with time hollow, i don't think the sibling dynamic works as well as the lavwin dynamic.

btw when I say modified lavmin, I mean it's pretty heavily modified, at least for the purposes of this series. Hunter and Willow are romanitc. Amity and Luz are romantic. Amity and Hunter are not romantic. Willow and Lus are not romanitc. Luz and Hunter are not romantic. They are not platonic. They are not in a QPR. They are not in a secret fourth thing, but a secret fifth thing.

there are two main reasons for this change. one, is that I actually love lavwin in general. i love poly ships and i love messy ships and i love being able to go in deep with character dynamics and and explore those relationships deeply and changingly.

the second reason: its so titan-damned MESSY. it's fantastic! there are so so many dynamics to explore with Hunter and Luz being a secret fifth thing instead of stricly familial. And the way their closeness can interplay with Amity and Willow, either as jealously or care or anything else, and those two maybe finding comfort in each other too, it's all so deliciously messy and I loooove it.

so what's gonna actually change: basically nothing! This was never a romance focused story, and while Lumity and Huntlow were always gonna exist, now they just exist within the context of a messy lavwin. and honestly, hunter and luz were already a secret third thing in this series, it's just now not codified as siblings anymore. it's also not gonna change their relationships with anyone else, like King, or Eda.

maybe there'll be some tumblr posts, or some oneshots that are more lavwin focused, but realistically not much is gonna change. It's just in the way that I've been developing the story, and rotating the characters will have this trauma attachment flavour to it.

i mostly just wanted to get this out there so people could understand where I'm coming from, cause I've been going back and forth on this 'change' for a while, but I realized that if I;m making a series that I don't enjoy, I'm not gonna make a good fic at all. and i think this will make this series all the better for it.

thanks for reading all the way thru if u did <3

[thatone-artsykid]

INTRODUCTION POST (i guess)

Ummmm... Since I have almost 300 followers, then ig, i should make some welcome post or smth, so, HIIIIIIII, HAIIIIIIIII EVERYONEEEE!!!

(I'll TRY to keep this updated, no promises tho)

I'm Kamil, you can either call me by my name, or Kamik, or any other way you want (except slurs ofc, unless we're close friends lmao). I am a minor, trans/enby artist, who went to artschool BUT most of the art has learned by themselves:333

Art

The comms are open!! (Feel free to ask about em if you have any doubts)

Askbox is also open, if you have any doodle ideas or smth, feel free to share (I don't promise I'll do em, sowwy😭)

I mostly do digital art (I use Krita for everything), occasionally i do some scribbles in my sketchbooks, doodles in class, or generally school assignments (which i hate, but let's move on). I am a multifandom artist, who draws whatever they are hyperfixating on (rn im again stuck in re8 brainrot).

Here's the list of fandoms im (mostly) in:

Resident Evil series (mainly Resident Evil Village)

Just Shapes and Beats

Hollow Knight

Detroit: Become Human

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure (mostly Stardust Crusaders)

Original characters

I'm trying to finally bring my original characters to life, and give 'em a proper lore (which isn't going well, for now, lmao). Here's the list of em!

Claire/Clara Heisenberg (re8, Karl Heisenberg is her uncle, who became like a father to her)

Carl/Clara Heisenberg (same as Claire, but in D:BH universe)

Kazakura Marcatney (jjba part3, i'm shipping her with Kakyoin Noriaki)

Surya (Kazakura's stand)

Asuril and Lumi (Hollow Knight oc vessels)

Blixer Fresh (my version of that circle coward from jsab)

Lessyr (golden eyelash pit viper oc I made based off a song Snakes from Solence)

Spooder (a jumping spider oc I made when I was bored)

Bumblee (oc based off my ikea bumblebee plushie)

Other socials i post on (including my redbubble shop)

ThatOne._.ArtsyKid

That1-ArtsyKid

Now, let's settle out, 🚫DNI 🚫 if you either are a:

transphobe/homophobe/anyother lgbtq+phobe, a terf, JK Rowling Supporter, pro-shipper, racist, NSFW/18+, p0rn bot, sexist, or any other problematic folk (if you have an blank blog with an emtpy bio, then im also gonna block you)

More things about me :333

I come from Poland (therefore my english might not be the best)

My b-days are on 29th April

I have 4 budgies (named Lemon, Lemonade, Lime and Larry) and one rabbit (named Robin)

Im not the best with human interactions, sowwy

I easily get overwhelmed, and tend to disappear for few hours/days if I do, bear with me

Not looking to become friends with anyone, but if our vibe match, then hell yeah

I'm taken by the sweetiest pookie ever existed on this earth (my bf)

I have a tons of plushies occupying my bed

I've lived most of my life having high anxiety levels, so now im tryna take everything slowly (please be patient with me)

My fav music genres are metal, alternative metal, rock, rap-rock or anything that sounds good for me

I mostly listen to System Of A Down, Solence, My Chemical Romance, Grandson, Linkin Park and Cavetown (ofc)

I want to have many face piercings and tattoos in the future (I wish to have a septum, snake bites, a helix piercing and brow piercings so bad)

i'm a really really big bug nerd, if you have any cool bug pics, SEND EM OVER!!(im not joking)

my fav drinks are green tea and mojito (alcohol-free cuz i despise alcohol)

My comfort characters are:

Karl Heisenberg from re8 (I see him as a father figure)

Connor from dbh (the tism android)

Kakyoin from jjba part 3 (he's such a nerd, istg we'd go along together)

Lucas Baker from re7 (im not joking, i love this psycho-nerd)

Luis Serra Navarro from re4 (he so diva)

Angel Dust from hazbin hotel (i love him by his feminity and sassines)

Quirrel from Hollow Knight (another father figure, yes, I see a pillbug as a father figure, don't judge me)

[mychlapci]

TFA anon about to dump some TFA BulkOp on you because it’s one of my favorite rarepairs

Really it started out as a series of hookups that started because Optimus was feeling a bit lonely and really need a fat spike absolutely ruining his tight valve and he figured that Bulkhead was the perfect choice (considering that Ratchet was too old therefore not really able to pound him into oblivion like Optimus wanted, Bumblebee being a bit immature for Optimus’ tastes though he had considered it, and Prowl because he was broody)

He was big and strong, a gentle giant, and with a mech of his size he was sure to have a giant spike that could suit Optimus’ needs. So Optimus just casually brought it up one day when they were alone. Bulkhead was stunned but he admitted that he had been feeling lonely as well and like hell he wasn’t gonna pass up on an opportunity to fuck the prettiest bot he had ever met. So that night Bulkhead went into Optimus’ room and the best sex of their lives began.

At some point after they’ve been hooking up for a long time, Optimus starts to develop romantic feelings for Bulkhead. The big guy is just so soft and caring and loving, Optimus can’t help but want more..

Bulkhead deeply admires Optimus for his courage and passion, but his spark does a little twist whenever he blames himself for something out of his control. He just wishes to hold Optimus tight and reassure him that it’s not his fault, whispering lovely things into his ear..

Things get kinda awkward between them after that, just dancing around each other for a bit and avoiding any subjects regarding anything too intimate until Bulkhead accidentally lets it slip that he loves him after another night of passion and he panics for a bit thinking that he fucked up until Optimus admits that he feels the same. Bulkhead is overjoyed and they talk about it for a bit before they decide to see where this goes and they end up dating.

..Which literally NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT.

Yeah those two were the absolute last people anybody expected to have gotten together. In fact, nobody even knew they were hooking up before all of this. The only reason Team Prime found out was because one day Bumblebee walked in on Optimus and Bulkhead making out on the couch and screamed at the top of his lungs in shock and slight horror and who wouldn’t because holy shit my best friend is kissing our leader.

For the next month Bumblebee stared at Bulkhead slightly impressed that he actually landed Bossbot and horrified because holy shit he landed Bossbot. Prowl was just incredibly confused on how the hell THAT happened but was still happy for them and Ratchet kinda had a hunch when Bulkhead and Optimus came into the medbay with a suspicious amount of paint transfers on them.

Optimus and Bulkhead become kinda embarrassed when Bumblebee recovers enough from the “trauma” to start making all sorts of jokes at their expense but they get used to it quickly.

And when Bumblebee asks, yes, they’d answer, the sex is amazing.

Woah. This turned out more wholesome than I thought it would. Anyways, at some point after the war Bulkhead probably knocks up Optimus and that’s how everyone else found out BulkOp was a thing. Bulkhead spends his nights pounding Optimus into oblivion while filling his forge with load after load of transfluid for their future sparkling as Optimus moans and whimpers in pleasure <3

i love how this took a quick turn into breeding kink debauchery. I haven't really considered this ship before, but i'm into it. mhmmm Bulkhead being Optimus gentle giant that'll slide his fat spike into his valve, listening to Optimus' pleas for faster, harder, deeper, slower. Optimus is tight for such a big bot and Bulkhead is almost ridiculously big, so the sex is as amazing Optimus expected...

I love the thought of them making it official but still keeping it on the down low a little, only to be found out by Bumblebee while they were casually feeling each other up on the couch. It's embarrassing, but it's probably for the better that the rest of the team knows. Though once Bee starts making jokes about it, they're not so sure...

I do want Optimus pregnant with Bulkhead's fat baby. He'd make sure to keep Optimus topped up on transfluid to keep the little one growing, so you know Optimus has got quite a baby bump <3

[absolutebl]

This Week In BL - Everything is Awful or New or Both

Feb 2023 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessmen t of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

My School President (Fri YT) ep 11 of 12 - It’s an ep 11 so we knew this was gonna be a downer. This was definitely a “date me date my friends” kind of situation. At this rate, GeminiFourth’s other characters in Chicken are going to kiss before TinnGun do. I love Tinn’s dad. Also, it looks like our a tiny little ship of crumbs is sailing. How cute is that!? Sunshine + sunshine! Bonza. 

Bed Friend (Sat YT & iQIYI uncut) 1 of 8 - Fuck buddies get messy, AKA Between Us the second cumming only this time in an office (and on a desk). I have been waiting for James to hold down (or be held down in) a BL for years! All hail the new kings of high heat. BUCKLE UP I GOT A LOT TO SAY. I like that there’s a dark underbelly (*snicker*) of trauma to this one, it has a slightly a Japanese feel which suits mature characters and an office setting. King’s yearning worried eyes are glorious. Poor thing, he totally adores this beautiful broken fragile boy and doesn’t know how to capture his attention. I admit Net was the one I worried about with this pair. James was always gonna be great. It turns out, I didn’t have to worry. This is an awesome show and I fucking love it. It nearly scooped the top spot. Frankly this is the Office BL I have been WAITING for Thailand to give us. 

NOTE: I watched both YT’s cut and iQIYI’s uncut version. (Anyone else feel odd using those terms under a high heat BL context?) I like YT’s better, mostly iQIYI’s interface is shit. Deets? There was a little extra from the “morning after regrets flashbacks” but not so much I think you’ll regret missing it. Unless you REALLY prefer high heat. The emotion of the sexual connection and Uea’s lonely submissive need was transmitted in both versions, but the iQIYI is slightly more MOAR. 

Never Let Me Go (Tues YT) ep 10 of 12 - Flashbacks to the cutest boyfriends ever and then PAIN. All I can think is “thank fuck this was handed to Pond & Phuwin.” One of the world’s saddest executions of the sniff test trope. Meanwhile, Perth is SO GOOD but I wish Chopper would record his conversations with his dad. Look, we all know Chopper is gonna take his dad’s bullet for Nuengdiao, right? Oh well, if you didn’t know, I just told you. 

Moonlight Chicken (Weds YT) 3-4 of 8 - The plot... erm... thickens. I told you Jim had a tragic backstory with an ex. And now it’s all gotten VERY messy. Sigh. Fourth & Gemini are cute, tho. 

Hit Bite Love (Sat YouTube) ep 4-5 of 6 - I do like King & Burger. The idea of giving your perspective boyfriend your CV is ADORBS. Auditioning for the part, as it were. I would like it known that my sexual identity is chili (AKA spicy) henceforth. (My pronouns are MaxTul & sometimes Phi.) Look, this is an absurd show. Last ep it was BDSM 101, this ep we got a lesson on how to use a condom properly? AND why the closet is both necessary and damaging? I mean I applaud their educational endeavors but BL: The After School Special? Did I sign up for Degrassi Junior BL while I wasn’t looking? 

Boyband (Thurs YT) 1 of 10 - BL drama about putting an idol boyband together. AKA how to make ABL suffer by combing favorite (celebrity romances, Kpop) and least favorite (bad singing) tropes. AND? I REALLY like it. It’s fun! What singing there is, is looped not live. So we in Cutie Pie territory. It’s easy to skip. The pairing is rich/poor and I like an other side of the tracks romance.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 5: Love in the Future (Taiwan Weds Viki) ep 8 of 10 (or 15&16 of 20) - Covid strikes. Boyfriends are worried. Omg they are so cute and hot and awkward. Tension in the office politics too. It’ll be okay, babies. 

Jack o’Frost (Japan) ep 1 of 6 - After getting dumped, Ritsu has an accident and gets amnesia. Ikuya, his ex, struggles to help him regain his memories while wondering about the state of their relationship. But Ritsu falls in love with Ikuya all over again. Engaging opening but I’m just not sure about the premise. 

It’s Airing But ... 

Chains of Heart (Sat Gaga) 1 of 10 - Not dropping for me until tomorrow so it’ll be in next week’s round up I hope. Suspense thriller about a forest ranger, smugglers, amnesia, and lost love. Stars Haii (Cirrus in TT2) and Marc (My Gear & Your Gown in YYY). Adapted from a Y-novel of the same name by TJ Tommy.

My Beautiful Man 2 (Viki & Gaga) - Because there are only 4 eps, I decided to wait and binge this one. 

Cafe In Love (Thai) 10 eps on Ch3+ - Thai pulp, stars the actor who played Noh’s best friend Ohm in Love Sick 2. When his coffee shop closes, a man tries everything to save it and falls in love along the way. I had a hunt but can’t find it. 

Moments Of Love (Thai) Feb 14 Foremorfilm Production movie for cinema release. Was originally a series with Golf (609 Bedtime Story & The Eclipse) to direct, and SmartJames (LeonPhob from Don't Say No) to star. BUT is now something totally different. We’re all confused.

Destiny Seeker (Tues WeTV ) 10 eps - it’s not on any WeTV I can get ahold of. Engineering student Songkram is head of dorm 3, for "strong & athletic" students. Aye is head of dorm 2, for the "good looking" students. Aye used to be Songkram's tutor and friend, but they fell apart after becoming dorm heads. Aye is actually in love with Songkram but thinks Sonkram likes someone else. Songkram actually likes Aye. So, Bad Buddy the pulp rebirth meets that weird Japanese “girls-crossdressing-as-boys for love and infiltrating secret society of hotness” tradition.

Our Winter (Thai & Korea ?) - TutorYim vehicle supposedly airing now. Search me. 

The End Of The World, With You AKA Bokura no Micro na Shuumatsu (Japan Sun Gaga) - DNFing this one. It’s way too high heat for them to end it happily and full of dark stuff like cheating, suicide, depression, abuse. I actively HATE one of the main characters and mildly dislike the other. Easier to just stop watching.  

Next Week Looks Like This:

2023 forthcoming BL master post. (see comments some are inaccurate, NOT UPDATED)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

My favorite thing to happen in BL this week. Possibly EVER.

Honestly, such a weird little After School Special. (All Hit Bite Love.) 

SAIL MY LITTLE CRUMBS! SAIL!!!! 

You TELL her, Paw. (All My School President) 

We stan the out boy. Own it, babycakes. (Moonlight Chicken.) 

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? Beautiful by BEAST, look, sometimes we gotta go back to our roots. Check out the legends for what they were, criticize my taste later. Fuck I miss those times when everyone had to sing live and the one with the hot mic had to stop dancing to catch his breath because, ya know, he still had to sing. 

ALL that said, you slackers should check out HELLO GLOOM - Dancing In The Dark. I alway said IMFACT was the most woke Kpop group, now they broken up(?) nice to see ‘em solo in queer fuck-off style. 

[otts-the-verminqueen]

I'm bored. Let's rate random ships.

I can't think of anything else to post, so you know what? I'm gonna start a series of posts rating different Genshin Impact ships.

This is all FOR FUN. These are just my personal opinions on these ships, and I do not want this to come across as any form of hate. It's not. It's just a fun thing to do because I don't know what else to post.

You can also suggest some ships if you'd like! I'll start with four ships here and do another post of four more ships in a few days.

~~~~~

1. Childe x Diluc

Rating: 100/10

This is by far one of my favorite ships (if you can't tell from how often I write stuff for them on AO3). The perfect ship for an enemies to lovers trope, which is one of my favorite tropes.

2. Xiao x Zhongli

Rating: 0/10

No hate to anyone who ships this, because I am fully aware that these two characters are not actually related to one another, but I've always viewed their relationship as more teacher and student or father and son. As a result, I've never really been a fan of this ship. I can see where people are coming from with it, though. It is cute. Just not one I really like.

3. Albedo x Kaeya

Rating: 50/10

Yet another favorite. Not as loved as Chiluc, but it's still one I love. I think these two characters mesh well together and there's a lot of different tropes that you can write with them.

4. Neuvillette x Furina

Rating: 0/10

This is another one where I understand that these two characters are not related by any means, but I personally have always viewed their relationship as loud older sister and quiet younger brother. I do see where people are coming from with the ship. It is cute. But once again, another ship I'm not a very big fan of, honestly.

~~~~~

Once again, you can request different ships for me to rate in the future if you would like. I figure I'll make a series out of this just to have something to post. And I'm all for some simple debates, but please don't be mean to each other (or me) in the comments. This is, once again, FOR FUN. And it's just my personal opinion.