#gonna have to figure out how tf to get that off the ground so i can put the filing cabinet there

[man-made-object]

me: i wanna write stuff on my computer

also me: moves the entire computer desk to the other corner of the room and repositions the monitor, and fixes the tv being crooked and plugs in the wii u while it's down

[spirits-n-giggles]

Must.... conclude.... Beetlejuice story.... after.... 2nd.... movie....

Go on this journey with me

(slightly edited for a better flow.)

Picture it:

A few years goes by....

Astrid and Lydia had become inceperable after their Halloween from hell and live together, but she eventually talks about wanting to experience dorm life for her first year of college. Lydia is happy for her daughter but is now afraid of being alone, not entirely sure what might happen with so many dreams that always plagued her sleep since the resurgence of ☆he who shall not be named☆ - and I want them to use that line as much as they used "keepin' it real."

The house on the hill will become internationally known as the notorious "Lydia Deets' Haunted Arthouse", she didn't have a show anymore, but that didn't stop her reputation from growing exponentially after the Halloween fiasco. People wanna buy this property for millions of dollars, but Lydia will be too afraid of whatever might happen to anyone, should they ever meet the demon from her nightmares, so she keeps the house by using some of Delia's fame funds to keep the home in their name - something Delia would HATE lol - but Lydia doesn't wanna actually be in the house.

Betelgeuse is stuck in the underworld, trying to hide from a revived Delores that continues to terrorize the afterlife, only now she is destroying the place. If the Sandworm can't kill Betelgeuse, how tf is it gonna kill Delores? Wolf Jackson is of course on the case, but things are getting out of hand. This makes Betlegeuse a prime target for anyone with a soul that might wanna rat him out. And there are PLENTY who wanna rat him out. Trying to find a way out or a way to kill the broad, he has to get creative as he stays in hiding. And where is the perfect place to hide? In a certain model town in a certain model home.

Rory will be undead and use his winning personality to act like he worships the ground Delores walks on so she doesn't suck out his soul. She will say she wants Betelgeuse and wants to kill Lydia. He is cool with that and says he will help her achive that goal. He will then become her lacky and tell her how pretty and perfect she is to keep the target off his back. He will be terrified of her but this will gradually make her love Rory and this can cause some potential fun for future scenes.

Lydia has nightmares that always involve Betlegeuse, even some can involve them going on wacky cartoon adventures from the show, but they'll be creepy and dark and stop-motion because Burton. She tries therapy, but it will end up being a bust. It's hard finding the right therapist with someone as much truama as her. OH MY GOD HAVE MICHAEL KEATON PLAY THIS CHARACTER!!!!! (Nice little nod to movie 2) It will freak her tf out thinking she's seeing Betlegeuse everywhere!

This will cause her to become a shut-in after getting rich off the royalties of selling her personal story - a melodrama of love and the loss of two parents after a lifetime of hauntings from their psychic daughter. She sells this story to various people who want to write it into something. She will end up reading raving reviews about a live theater production of her story called "Ghost House" or "Scared Sheetless" after a graphic novel that was released or some shit. Supernatural levels of meta. Might as well! :D

After a particular dream that ruffles Lydia awake in her own apartment, (the dream at the end of movie 2 maybe?) something strange will happen to the house on the hill, causing Lydia to go back and figure it out. Astrid will hear of this and not want her mom to be there alone and goes with her to help solve the mystery. Lydia thinks she knows what (or who) it is and doesn't want Astrid to come along, but she does anyway.

Hiding there in the model, Betelgeuse will see that she and her daughter have returned, thinking she's finally come to her senses and come back to him lol. Betelgeuse gets desperate for Lydia's attention in the best way he knows how - dreams. They've got a psychic connection, and he's done it plenty of times, but now it's for business as well as pleasure.

It would be some kind of earthquake that shakes the hill. Being careful and walking around whatever damage was mysteriously done, some locals say its another haunting and they want to tear the large house down and make something new. Aatrid can hear these comments and relay them to her mom. This will start making Lydia curious about the history of the hill this house was built on, especially since it's so close to the graveyard (the same place Betlegeuse was buried in the model in movie 1)

So she goes on a hunt in the small town, expands it a little, maybe even find the Mainlands old shop? This can parallel with expanding the afterlife while Betlegeuse is trying to find allies. Betelgeuse tries to round up anyone he knows that he can trust - literally anyone from the past - gotta bring Catherine O'Hara and Gena Davis back, right? Stop motion her in as a ripple in dimensional shifts or something and just use her voice. Richard would help as a thanks for helping his kid in the past, and I KNOW we can get Bob back if we tried.

Lydia can end up learning about some of Betlegeuse's history - finds a picture of an eerily familiar couple - but all this place knows is that they were just two of the MANY that were tossed in mass graves on this land centuries back but they don't know details other than they came from Italy. She will make it a mission to go to their original resting place to try to get more info. She's rich. She can do that. (Their love story was in Italy, right?)

Getting to Italy, Lydia learns the urban legend of a murder suicide of some nutorious bad couple who was known for terrorizing the nights in their hellrsising escepades, but after they were dead and buried, the two lovers corpses, along with many other discarded corpses of dead evil people, were moved out of their original land and brought to a new land to be buried there - getting rid of unwanted individuals so they could bring in the industrial revolution. There will be several names, but two will stand out along with a picture -- Delores and another name that's crossed out. Make it Lawrence, lol. Isn't that Betlegeuse's name in the cartoon?

"Betlegeuse?" Lydia whispers.

“Mom!”

“S-sorry."

Astrid tags along with her mother, happy to travel and hunt creepy shit again. Her dad would be proud. This time she won't meet a boy but maybe a girl who was also doing her own research for school. Jeremy was technically her first experience with a boy, and it's possible to stray away from reminders of bad experiences and kids experiment at this age anyway. It will be a cute goth girl who is a fan of Lydia's old show and is one of the first girls Astrid's age to ever actually be nice to her. A nice connection. This could also be a ploy to pull Lydia back into BJs world again, too - yay twists! She can maybe be an illegal ghost girl looking for help from Lydia because she thinks the paranormal human can help everyone in the afterlife.

Underworld is in chaos, and here is a rift between worlds after so many souls had been taken from the afterlife. There's no more order, reality is breaking, and the only way to get everything back in order is to destroy the soul sucker and release the souls she has absorbed. The more she absorbs, the more power she gets.

They get home, and another shift happens between worlds, and with so much death in the afterlife, it's causing serious problems in the real world and Astrid has an idea to maybe call someone for help. Lydia shuts it down, but more rifts and earthquakes happen. She will have another dream of him trying to get her to call his name. And maybe she can awaken in a living nightmare caused by the rift between worlds, and they are both almost killed (by a sandworm, why tf not!!!) before calling Betlegeuse for help.

Get real 'out there' and put those practical affects to good use and let the shenegins begin! As much as I love watching Betelgeuse try to marry Lydia, there is no attempt at marriage this time. There's too much to do. "I just saved your life, now you can help me save mine and finally kill that soul sucking witch for good.”

“No games. No tricks.” Lydia warns.

“I'm not the trickster in this relationship babe,” he wickedly grins, “but we can get back to that after we save our asses. You're coming with me.” Have him turn into a tour guide as he shows off different aspects of the afterlife thays falling apart before the three of them eventually have to run from people who have allied themselves with Delores to find Betelgeuse.

Imagine the reunion of seeing Rory with Delores. Imagine crazy shit that can magically appear to help end the story. Hell, have the goth girl Astrid meets to come back and redeem herself at the end. I dunno. She can appear and admit to being Delores daughter (before meeting Betelgeuse) and thats why she was at the same place Lydia and Astrid went in Italy to find answers- she was too.

This relationship can parallel Lydia and Astrid's positive one- have Delores sacrifice her daughter to start her sacrificial rite for power, and her daughter never forgive her (I swear I am just pulling this out of my ass) have the girl hold vengence for her mom and she can give Lydia the dagger that her mother Delores killed her with that still has the young girl's cursed blood on it. She says to use it to kill Delores, but Betelgeuse is the only one strong enough who can get close enough to do it.

With so much chaos and so many souls taken, anything can happen in the underworld, and chaos ensues. Maybe even break in to see glimpses of the afterlife, perhaps they see a glimpse of hell and see how Jeremy is being tortured (it will be a silly Tim Burton way). They can see part of the great beyond maybe wave at Delia (and the back of Charls’ head) too?

They finally meet Delores and she will say she is over Betelgeuse, happy with her new pet Rory. It's a shock for Lydia to see Rory there but isn't surprised to see him so desperate to fawn after Delores. Satisfied with the new power she’s gained, Delores prefers to keep Betelgeuse alive to torture him.

Lydia will give Betelgeuse the dagger so he can pop her like a bubble and all the souls she's consumed will escape and go back to their soul holders. But why waste energy killing Betelgeuse when Delores can just use him? She is able to levitate him up but Lydia, Astrid, and the goth girl work together to pull him back down. - this is where the goth girl can suddenly enter for the final fight!

Seeing her daughter makes her angry, and seeing her help her foes pisses her off. Delores grows in size to show her strength, and ordering Rory to take care of those little girls. Little goth girl and Astrid go after Rory and Lydia will get a plan -

"Oh... you're not into him anymore, huh? So... you wouldn't care if I did this?" And Lydia pulls that fucker in to kiss him. (This feels very Phantom of the Opera coded.....) Just a peck is enough for Delores to RAGE and she goes full attack mode. She goes after Lydia and Beletgeuse steps in front of her and kills Delores with whatever magical shit her dead vengeful goth daughter supplied, lol. (And I'm talking full jack sparrow stabbing the kraken slow mode scene) Epic as shit!!! Delores daughter will then rest in peace.

Astrid will then ask herself, “Now why the hell can't I connect with humans like I can with ghosts?”

“Family trait, unfortunately.” Lydia says feeling Beletgeuse's breath literally go down her neck with his close proximity. "At least they didn't try to suck you into marrying them."

End it with Lydia being recruited by Wolf Jackson to find those who have been lost in the real world or something. Make it to where she and Betelgeuse have to work together to keep the plane between the living and the dead closed with her as the keeper of the house.

Have the house be the main character in the end!!!!

Betelgeuse will turn to Lydia and say, "So, you're not the marrying type, eh? I'm fine with that-" He'll try to pull her in for another kiss, but she'll push him away.

"Nooo! No-" He lets her shove him to the floor, "I just knew something like that would save your ass. That's what you asked for right? Now we’re even." He quickly jumps back up. "I know jealousy when I see it.”

"You sure do." he inches closer to her, but she crosses her arms looking away, seemingly uninterested.

"Betelgeuse...”

"I can wait, honey. I know you want me." He flexes as he slowly walks away with pride. "No one can resist ‘the juice’ once they've had a taste." He winks.

Astrid groans for her mother, but Lydia just looks to him like she always does.

"Betelgeuse..."

"You will be the one to kiss me again, babes." He holds his arms out in his iconic way. "I got all the time in the world." He thinks this is the end.

"Betelgeuse."

Hmmm.... he doesn't disappear?

But he does give a wicked smile.

Turns out when killing the spirit of the soul sucking witch, the souls did escape, but her power had to be absorbed by someone, and Betelgeuse didn't... really... need.... help with obtaining more power, did he?

Would he be like demi-god state now? Why the hell not? Give me an Astarion evil ending kind of transformation. Give me love and deepspace realness. (google those). Go the whole nine and make him HOT AND SCARY in the end. Michael Keaton is attractive. It's doable! Antihero status! Make it wild! Demigod!!!!

Imagine THAT being interested in you, Lydia. I don't think you'd say no.

End it with his new form levitating and him saying that that iconic voice and green glowing eyes. "It's Showtime."

Throw in a musical number somewhere, a little justice for Bob and you have a lovely story.

There. Done.

I don't think a 3rd will be made, and if there is one, I don't think it would be this ^ stupid! Lol

[whocaresstillthelouvre]

The All-Star Game

Batter Up Chapter 5

Pairing: Baseball player Joel Miller x Female Reader Rating: Explicit. 18+ (Minors DNI) Summary: This is not how Joel wanted to spend his All-Star Game, at least you make the best of it for him. Warnings: smut, fluff, family dynamics, nurse/patient roleplay in the shower, oral (m receiving), cum eating, unprotected p in v sex (reader has a previously discussed IUD... be safe), a doctor mistakes reader for Joel's wife. Words: 4,900

A/N: Been fighting writer's block, twelve hour work days, and total brain fry. Thank you for being so patient with my lack of updating folks. Not gonna lie, I read through my first piece Golden Walkway earlier and was like "how TF is my first ever ff/smut piece that good?!" while I'm absolutely banging my head against the keyboard trying to write out four sentences tonight. The biggest shout out to @frannyzooey for filling my Google Doc with notes and simplifying my gobbledegook. I absolutely do not feel worthy of your kindness. *insert Wayne's World not worthy GIF*

Masterlist Series Masterlist Playlist

⚾️⚾️⚾️

Day 1 Travel Day For All-Stars

And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate

Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

I shake it off, I shake it off

“God damnit,” Joel growls. “Why do I always forget that that’s your damn alarm?”

“Mmph, it works. Wakes me up.” You sit up and stretch before reaching to pick up your phone.

The same phone you stared at while willing yourself to sleep, attempting to ignore the circling "what ifs" of the dreaded conversation you knew you had to have with your parents, only able to do so after focusing on the soothing sound of Joel's breathing.

You get up, slip on his shirt and crack open the curtains letting the morning sun peek in. 

“Guess I should look at my phone, hm?” Joel slowly sits up and settles his back on the pillows while you readjust, his big brown eyes disappearing behind the tired crinkles that line the sides as he lets out a rumbly yawn.

“Might be a good idea, I’m sure Sarah wants to talk with you.” Running a hand through his sleep tousled hair, you give him a kiss.

���Called her on the way home yesterday, let her know not to worry and that I’d be fine without her.” He sighs. “I think she knows I have somebody.”

“Hm. I didn’t want to get into it this soon, but I’m going to have to talk to my mom at least. She knows I’m here in Philly and I didn’t get on my flight.”

“Well, shit,” he grimaces. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be good. I texted her saying I’m fine and I’d talk to her tomorrow. Just nervous, but at this point, there’s no going back…they were already going to find out today. So instead of doing it in person, I’m just going to have to do it over the phone.”

“Whatever happens, we’ll figure it out.” His hand grabs yours and squeezes it.

“We will, I just want to have a nice morning with you, I'll deal with them after lunch.”

“But first, coffee?”

“But first, coffee.”

——

“Well, here goes,” you dial your mom’s number and hit the green phone circle. She picks up after two rings. Crap.

“Hey mom,” you nervously swallow, trying to sound chipper. Joel’s hand soothingly pets your back, grounding you. 

“Hi sweetie, what’s happening? Your dad and I are very confused.”

“Yeah, um about that, is dad with you?”

“He is… is everything okay?”

“Yes, everything is good. Um, could you put me on speaker?” You haven’t had to feel this level of nervousness with your parents in almost twenty years. 

“Hi Duck, what’s going on?” Your dad calls you by your nickname, so he’s not mad… yet. “Was looking forward to seeing you, I don’t know why you’re not here. Mom and I didn’t hear from you, so she checked your location last night and you’re in Philadelphia? Not New York, not the airport, not Texas, but Philadelphia, why is that? We were worried, Duck.”

“I know, I’m sorry about that. So, things got… complicated. I was packing for the airport and was watching the Liberties game when, um, Joel got hurt.” You exhale, trying to calm yourself by focusing on the feel of Joel’s hand on your skin. “I, uh, drove down to help take care of him because, um, he and I have been, together since, well, November.” You breathe out the latter word, hoping your quiet breath will hide the shame in keeping Joel a secret for that long, for not respecting your parents and your own relationship. You feel so small, so fragile, so young, confessing to your mom and dad like you’re in trouble. 

“November?” The only word your mom responds with. Your dad stays quiet, and you’re reminded of why you wanted to do this over the phone. So you wouldn’t see their expressions. Although, maybe if they were here, they would be able to see the way Joel looks at you, how happy you are, how perfect he is for you.  

“Yes, um, remember when I flew in for your birthday? We ran into each other, and I don’t know, it just worked out. I know this is a lot.” 

Joel’s hand lands on your shoulder, tugging you back to lay against him, his arm wrapping around your chest as he presses a soft kiss to the top of your head.  You love him so much, you let a tear slip out as you wait for any sort of validation. 

“So, you and Joel Miller have been together for, what, nine months? And we’re only finding out about it now?” You try to gauge your dad’s voice, sensing disappointment, praying it’s not anger. “Is it because you got caught at his place? When were you going to tell us?” 

Okay, there’s anger. 

“Tonight actually, um, Joel and I were going to tell you tonight at dinner. I’m really sorry and I know this is complicated because there’s a bit of history between him and you, but daddy, I love him.”

“Bit of history?” he replies, incredulous. “He was my star player for twenty years, he was rude to the media, coaches, and reporters and I always had to pick up that mess. He was great on the field and in the clubhouse, but he was a pain in my ass most of the time, and now you’re telling me you’re in love with him… and have been for almost a year?”

You bite your lip as you will the tears away from your eyes. You’re so thankful for Joel’s touch right now. He’s respecting you, but you can tell by his breathing growing louder and quicker that hearing your dad’s raised voice is upsetting him. Maybe it’s better to be not in person, that way Joel doesn’t run the risk of throwing your dad through a wall. 

“Yes,” you croak out. You feel like a child answering him. Eyes downcast, tears rolling down your cheeks.

“And all of a sudden, right after he’s no longer on my team, he’s your boyfriend?”

“I’m sorry dad, it’s not something we planned on, it just… happened and I know you’re mad and I’m sorry that it took this long for you to find out and I’m sor—“

“Sweetie,” your mom’s voice breaks through your anxious words, “are you happy?” 

“Yes,” you whisper, Joel’s arm squeezes you tighter, “incredibly.”

“Well, that’s all we want for you. If it’s with Joel, then we’re good, right?”

You breathe out a sigh of relief at her words, her acceptance, her demand of your dad to recenter himself and his ire. You turn to look at Joel and see tears sitting in the waterline of his eyes that are focused on you. He gives you a small smile. 

How could you not love this man? How could anybody doubt the power of what you two share?

“That is what we want for you, but I am concerned. People will have questions. Joel is a part of this team’s history and now my daughter is dating him.”

“I understand that.”

“I know you do, Duck. You can make your own decisions, you haven’t lived under our rules for a very long time. I trust you. As long as you are happy and you understand that there will be roadblocks up ahead with the public eye, then I can be on board. People talk, the internet talks and you’re signing yourself up for a lot of people talking about you. I know you realize that, but does Miller?”

“I do, sir,” Joel says, the first words spoken from him, with the “sir” sternly emphasized. “Look, I don’t care what anybody has to say, people’s opinions never mattered to me. I know you’re well aware of that. I love your daughter. She has been with me every step of the way since I learned I was no longer a Capital. I apologize that this is all at once ’n that this is how you’re finding out, but I do not apologize for the way I feel about your daughter. I love her.”

You watch Joel’s lips as he speaks his confession to your parents, wondering how you could be so lucky to have found him and to have his heart the way that you do.  

“Listen, I know you two are smart, and Miller, you know at the end of the day I respect the hell out of you. If my daughter is happy, that’s all I can hope for as her father. As much as I worry about her, I know she can make her own decisions.” 

“As a father to a college student now, I understand that sir. You have my word that I will stop at nothing to keep your daughter happy.” 

“We know that Joel,” your mom’s soft voice soothes the conversation. “I just wish we would have known about this sooner. I’m a bit upset that it took you long enough to let us know. We just want you to be aware of what issues might arise for you two.”

“Whatever happens, it’s just white noise to us. It’s my choice—it’s our choice,” you say. “We’ve talked about everything before, we are fully aware.” 

“I can’t tell you what to do Duck, Mom can’t tell you what to do. Miller’s a good man, underneath it all, I know that. If you are happy with him, then we are happy for you.”

“This is the happiest I’ve been.”

“We’re glad sweetheart, so glad,” your mom chokes out. At least they’re happy tears. “We’ll be here for you, always. I guess we won’t see you this week.”

“No, Joel needs me, I don’t want to leave him.” 

“Alright then, feel better Miller, we love you Duck,” your dad’s voice softens. “Take care and keep us updated, okay?”

“Thank you sir,” Joel respectfully responds.

“I will. Love you guys, bye.” You end the call and let out a big sigh of relief. 

One down, two more to go. 

“I’m proud of you baby,” Joel breathes out against your hair.

“Heh, thanks. I think?”

“I know you were nervous.”

“Oh, yeah. Still kinda dumb how I’m intimidated by them but… I think it all worked out in the end.”

“It did baby. Why does your dad call you Duck?”

“It’s short for duck snort.”

“...Like the baseball term?”

“Yep, I used to be a crazy toddler and thought my parents chasing me was funny. One day my dad called me a duck snort because I’d always get away and ‘win’, and it kinda stuck.”

He smiles, stroking your cheek. “That’s so fucking cute. ”

“Speaking of daughters, when are you going to tell Sarah?” 

“Later. I’m all phoned out for the time being, want to rest my back and take a nap. That one was a little tense.”

“A nap sounds amazing,” you stretch and adjust to put your head on Joel’s chest, your favorite pillow.

——

“Joel,” you blink your eyes open, “the sun’s going down. I think we overslept.”

“Mm, I’m up. Been up.”

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

“You’ve had a long couple of days, wanted to let you sleep.”

“You’re due for your pills,” you yawn, getting up.

“I am.”

He winces as you hand him his medicine and glass of water. 

“You alright?” 

“Been better, just really hurts right now. Plus, I should call Sarah before it gets too late. I just texted Tommy and told him.”

“Oh?” You turn on Joel’s heating pad and hand him the remote.

“Yeah, he texted me and asked me how I was getting along and if my nurse was hot. Told him about everything. He was happy for me and congratulated me on my hot nurse.”

“He’s ridiculous,” you shake your head. “I’m going to go make dinner, I’ll leave you to call Sarah.” You kiss the top of his forehead.

“Thanks baby.” 

——

You quietly step into Joel’s room holding a tray with his plate full of steak, rice and broccoli, Joel’s go to in season meal.

“Hey sweets, my dinner is here. I gotta go.”

“Can I—can I say hi to her?”

You smile at Sarah’s sweet voice as Joel looks past his phone to you. You nod and walk over placing the tray on Joel’s lap.

“Sure, here she is.”

Well, this is new. You’ve never been with anybody who has a child, let alone a college aged kid. You know Sarah, you love her, you used to chase her around the club box years ago. 

You grab the phone, she’s gotten so beautiful. Same brown eyes as her dad, deep dimples as she smiles, long curly hair. She’s a young woman now, just as gorgeous as her dad. 

“Hi Sarah, nice to see you again.”

“Oh my god! Hi! It is! Wish it wasn’t through the phone but I, just, I wanted to say that, I-I am very happy that Dad finally found somebody and it’s you!”

“Well, I am too.”

“He told me you’re doing a better job than I ever would at taking care of him, so I don’t need to tell you to take good care of him.”

“I try,” you chuckle. 

“Thanks for saying hi to me, I’ll let you go, I know you have dinner!”

“Of course Sarah, any time. I’ll hand you back to your dad now.”

You keep your smile as you hand the phone back to Joel. You don’t know if you’ve ever seen him this happy before, eyes alight with a large grin on his face. You never noticed how his dimple matches Sarah’s. 

Your shoulders feel lighter now that the most important people know, and accept, your love. 

The secret’s out. 

⚾️⚾️⚾️

Day 2 Home Run Derby

Greeting Doctor Arroyo with a smile, you leave him in the living room to wait. 

"Joel," you peek your head into the bedroom. "He's here."

"Send him in," he replies, sitting up higher.

Showing the doctor the way, he thanks you. 

"Thanks, Mrs. Miller."

You let out a little laugh. "Not the wife, just the girlfriend."

Giving you a small smile, he leaves you in the hallway with thoughts of being Mrs. Miller swirling in your head.

After the doctor leaves, you sit on the edge of the bed.

“So, what’d he say?” 

“Still stuck like this for the next few days. Wants me to do some stretches and move around more, going to check on me in two more days again. Said I’m recovering well, told him it’s because I have a good nurse.” 

“You do have a good nurse… that’s better news than I was expecting at least.”

“Yep, and he took the bandage off from my shot so I can finally take a shower.” 

“Oh?”

“Oh is right,” his eyes darken, “but you’re gonna have to wash me, nurse.”

“I can do that, not only am I your nurse but I’m also your wife according to Dr. Arroyo.”

“Oh?”

“Oh is right,” you wink. “I told him I’m your girlfriend.”

“Should’ve told him you’re not my wife… yet.”

“I’m happy with girlfriend right now Mr. Miller.”

“My sweet independent girl.” 

“Eh, your sweet independent nurse now. Come on, let’s get you washed Mr. Miller.”

“Yes ma’am.”

——

Joel hobbles into the bathroom as you adjust the temperature of the shower. 

“It’s hot, too hot, just like you like it Mr. Miller.”

“God, I love it when you call me that. Now nurse,” he smirks, “come help me with my clothes.”

“Right away Mr. Miller,” you reply, sauntering over to him.

“What a pretty nurse you are, have a feeling you’re going to take REAL good care of me,” he raises his arms over his head as you lift his shirt up.

“I’ll sure try to take good care of you Mr. Miller. Did you want me to remove your shorts?”

“Yes nurse.”

You lean forward, grabbing the waistband of his pants to lower them down, running your gaze appreciatively over his half-hard cock.

You look up and angle your eyebrow at him. “I can see you’re quite excited for your shower Mr. Miller.”

“Mm.” 

“Go ahead and get in, it’s all ready for you.” 

“But you’re not. Take your clothes off.”

“Now, Mr. Miller, I can’t get naked for you, but I can take this off.” You slip the straps of your dress down your arms and shimmy out of it, leaving only your white cotton bra and underwear on. “You know, gotta stay decent while taking care of my patient.”

He hums in appreciation, taking in the sight. Turning, he steps into the shower with a groan of contentment.

“Feel good?” You ask grabbing a wash cloth. 

“Very.”

He leans forward, placing his arms on the wall and stretches his back as the water hits his skin. Water trickles down the deep plains of his spine, the strong muscles of his back gleaming under the sheen of water. You follow the river that falls from his neck, down his back bone, past the two lower back dimples you love, past the slight curve of his behind and down his hairy legs. He is all man… your man. It’s a shame all the water that lands across his body is wasted on the drain. 

“Is the temperature good?”

“S’perfect,” he grunts.

“Want me to scrub you sir?”

“Heh,” he turns his head to look at you, “with a nurse that looks like you? ‘Course I do.”

The drops of water sear your skin as you step into the water.

“Jesus Joel, it’s hot in here.”

“Mm,” he reaches over and turns the water cooler before turning around, his eyes darkening as he notices the fabric of your bra cups has turned see-through. “Better?” His eyes stay on your chest.

“Better. Now, let’s get you washed, sir.”

“I’m all yours.” 

You grab Joel’s bar of soap, lathering your hands up with the eucalyptus scented bar. Your hands run across his chest leaving lines of suds along his skin, and he lets out a small groan as you rub soapy circles over his stomach. 

He reaches a hand up and pinches your nipple underneath the sheer wet fabric. 

“Feel good sir?”

“Very. Such a good nurse.”

You step closer to him, his hard cock jutting against your stomach as you wash his arms. Your fingers press tight along his biceps and his shoulders, releasing the tension.

“Fuck,” Joel breathes out, “you’re driving me crazy like this.” 

“Well, get ready, I need to wash your legs and…” you wrap your hand around his erection, “this… sir.”

“Jesus Christ,” he groans and shakes his head. “Go ahead nurse.”

You reach around him and grab the soap before kneeling on the tile floor. 

Your soapy hands glide along Joel’s legs, his calf muscles firm under your touch, his thighs soft as you move closer to Joel’s hard cock dripping water and precum. You move your hands along the back of his thighs, cradling the bottom of his ass cheeks before pushing him forward and sealing your mouth over his cock. 

“CHRIST!” Joel’s shout echoes across the bathroom, his hands splaying against the glass.  

Pulling back, you look up.

“You alright? Is this too much?”

“No, no sweetheart,” his eyes soften as he reaches down and holds your cheek, “it felt really good. Go on baby,” Joel leans against the shower wall, “prove to me I’m your favorite patient.”

A long groan escapes Joel’s mouth as you suck the tip of his cock into your mouth. You take him deeper in, sucking the water off of his length as he grabs a handful of your wet hair, your mouth slurping along his length. You clench your thighs together as you feel your cunt throb with arousal.

“That’s it, that’s it,” he chants. 

Water dripping off of Joel’s skin pelts your face as he fills your mouth, your nose brushing against the coarse hair of him there, his cock repeatedly brushing the back of your throat causing a string of saliva to drool out of your mouth.

“Touch yourself, touch your pussy while you suck me baby.”

Your hand reaches underneath your soaked cotton panties, your fingers ghosting across your swollen clit. You moan as you press down and swirl around the bundle of nerves.

His hips jut forward when you hollow your cheeks around him sucking as you bob your head along his length, your free hand cradling his balls and massaging the soft skin of them, bringing him to the brink of his orgasm.

“So good baby, fucking hell,” his grip on your hair tightens, “going to give you my cum soon if you keep that up.” 

Your eyes look up to him, he tilts his head down and gives you a blissed out half smile, water cascades down his face and falls onto your skin. The way he looks at you, the line on his forearm straining as he holds your hair, his warm cock stretching your mouth open, the feel of water dripping down your throat mixed with the taste of Joel. The sensation is too much, you whimper around Joel’s cock as you orgasm. Your fingers drown with your arousal, your mouth goes slack around him as warmth spreads through your limbs. Your hand collects the hot slick that leaks out of you, spreading it all over Joel’s shaft, pumping him with your fist as you suck the tip of him. 

“Close,” he pants, “lemme cum in that mouth, wanna see your mouth filled with me.” 

You nod and moan as you tighten your grip and suck harder.

He chants your name as he empties his release into your open mouth, the last spurt of him landing on your outstretched tongue.

He untangles his hand from your hair, running it down your face to grab your chin and angle it up.

“Swallow it baby.” 

His blown out brown eyes watch in worshiping awe as you seal your mouth shut and gulp down the salty taste of him before licking your lips. 

“All good Mr. Miller?”

“Quite… best nurse I ever had.” 

—-

“He reminds me of you,” you muse, grabbing a handful of popcorn from the bowl as you and Joel watch the Austin Capitals’ rookie phenom James Neal hit ball after ball over the fence of Capitals Stadium. 

“He better. He’s my replacement.” Joel grumbles. 

“How do you feel about not being there?” 

“Tonight isn’t as bad, I always hated the Derby, having to sit on the field and play nice with the cameras. Tomorrow is going to suck.”

“I know it will, I’m sorry this is happening to you. You deserve everything this season. I know everything hasn’t gone the way you’ve wanted but I couldn’t be prouder of how you’ve handled it.”

“Don’t think I’d be able to do it without you baby,” he kisses the top of your head as James Neal hits his twentieth home run over the fence. 

⚾️⚾️⚾️

Day 3 The All-Star Game

And the first pitch of the sixth inning is a strike. Scott steps back into the box, swings… and a miss. Strike two. Bridges winds up, and Scott hits a ground ball to first and—OH! Reynolds misreads it and it gets past him, two runs score. The American League now leads by two in the sixth! 

“I would’ve caught that,” Joel bitterly says. 

“I know you would’ve All-Star,” you console, leaning against him and wrapping an arm around him. 

“Mmf, you can’t lay on me like that.” 

“Sorry, does it hurt?”

“No, not even close. Just… feels real good having you all naked and pressed up against me like that.”

“Sorry.”

Joel plants his hand against your back, keeping you from moving away. 

“Stay, I like it. If I was on that field right now I couldn’t feel you like this.”

“Oh yeah?” Your hand runs a trail down his shorts and grips the heft of him. “Definitely wouldn’t be able to feel this.”

“Definitely not,” he groans. 

“Definitely couldn’t pull your shorts down and touch you if you were playing right now.”

“No,” he grunts, lifting his hips up allowing you to remove his shorts. 

You wrap your hand around his half hard cock. “And surely, I couldn’t jerk you off if you were on that field.” 

“Fuck, no,” he grits, hardening under your touch.

“Did you want to watch the game in peace or do you want me to take care of you?” 

“Take care baby,” he kisses you, “fuck this game.”

“Yeah, fuck this game.”

Your body overheats as you slide down Joel, straddling his thick thighs, taking his cock in hand, rubbing it along your dripping cunt and slowly settling yourself on his length.

Joel’s lips part, his big brown eyes staring at you as a long moan leaves your mouth savoring the feel of his cock stretching you. 

“You feel so good,” his head thuds against the pillow. “I haven’t felt your pussy like this in forever. Fucking missed it.” 

Your hips rock back and forth still adjusting to the size of him as he grabs your tits and massages the weight of them in his calloused hands. 

“This pussy was made for me, wasn’t it?”

You’re too blissed out to answer, too overwhelmed by the size of him. All you can muster is an isolated nod and whine arching your back while he pinches and pulls your nipples into peaks. 

“You gonna fuck me baby? You gonna fuck me like the All-Star I am? Come on baby, prove to me I’m your All-Star.”

You rise and fall on his cock, grinding your hips down each time he stuffs you full. 

“Look so good like this baby,” Joel juts his hips up “you’re the only fucking trophy I need.” 

You lean in as your thighs begin to tremble bringing his hand to your lips. Joel’s blown out pupils focus on your tongue as it traces the circles of his tattoo.

“Fucking perfect,” he rasps. 

Your pussy clenches at his praise, Joel’s cock hits the sensitive spot you want to feel him the most. 

“Cum for me, let me feel you strangle my cock, cum for me baby,” Joel’s gravelly voice encourages as he pulls his hand from your mouth, tugging you down against his chest. 

Your cunt flutters around him as your orgasm shatters into you. Your mouth going slack, drool falling out and landing on Joel’s chest as you scream his name and writhe on top of him.

“That’s my good girl, that’s it, fuck, you’re fucking gripping me baby, not going to last long like this.”

You summon as much energy as you can leaning forward to lick the golden skin of his neck as you grind your hips against his, your soaked pussy pumping his cock.

“That’s it baby, that’s it,” he pants. “Gonna cum.” 

Joel lets out a long groan as his hips jerk up into you, warmth blooming through your core as his cock empties into you. You both stay frozen collectively catching your breaths as you come down from your shared bliss. His cock slips from you as you lift up to kiss him, both of your spends dribbling down between your thighs.

“Did I make you feel like the All-Star you are?”

“Mm,” he smiles, pulling away, ”I love being a baseball player sometimes.”

You turn towards the TV. “It’s tied now.” 

“Mm, for the first time ever, I really don’t care.”

You stay cuddled in his bed for the remainder of the game, today is definitely your favorite All-Star Game experience.

Well folks, that’ll do it for this year’s All-Star Game here in beautiful Austin, Texas. The National League wins in a 4-3 victory over the American League. We’ll see you next year. 

“Good game, I really enjoyed the sixth inning.”

“Guess it’s good we get home field advantage in the World Series,” Joel shrugs.

“Always thinking ahead.” “Always. Had a plan for a whole thing after the game but life had other plans. I, uh, grabbed this when I was changing earlier,” Joel opens his bedside table and pulls out a small gray suede box.

Your heart skips a beat at the implication of what it could be. There’s no way.

“It’s okay baby, don’t panic, it’s not that. Now that everybody knows, I want you to be able to wear me wherever you go.” 

He opens the box, a delicate gold necklace with a pendant of his number hangs from it.

“Joel,” you breathe out as tears prick your eyes, “it’s so… beautiful.”

“That first night I had the chain was the night I had you in the back of that club. I tried for so long to stay away from you, and yet you were always there, like some forbidden treasure I could never have… now we’re together and this is the happiest I’ve ever been.” Joel swipes the tears from your cheeks as they fall, “I love you so much sweetheart.”

“I love you too,” you smile as you take the box and remove the necklace. 

“Put it on baby, lemme see it.”

You clasp the necklace behind your neck and lower your arms. Joel pets the gold pendant against your skin. 

“Beautiful,” Joel whispers.

⚾️⚾️⚾️

Series Masterlist

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep3 Musings - Daniel & the Talamasca (SPOILERS)

I can see what the reviewers meant when they complained about the Talamasca & Daniel.

We start off with Daniel nervous AF, tryna keep tabs on all the mindscrewy shenanigans (at the sushi restaurant on his lunchbreak or whatever).

Today's... etcetc Cell phones, google -- Daniel, your handwriting effing sucks. San Francisco. Polynesian Mary's Playboy magazines as a doorstop? doorstep? |CLAUDIA| Mary's cab. Coke...etcetc. Alice. They'll come for me and Kate next--you bet your arse they will! XD THIS TIME I WON'T SAVE YOUR LIFE

He draws an arrow from Save Your Life up to Playboy--I assume cuz those are two incidents with Armand that took place in SanFran?

I really like the Omakase bit--

About how many risks Daniel's subjecting himself to under the whims of these vampires--but also about Daniel's hubris/arrogance breaking the rules of engagement by thinking he has any say over what they do and what he gets out of it, by stepping onto their turf. If you can't take the heat, GTFO their kitchen.

I'm only just now noticing the foreshadowed titles of Dan's books. 🤦 Burning & Blood--AMC swears they're hilarious.

OK, Raglan's been stalking Daniel's career just like Louis did. So my early suspicion about Daniel breaking the NDA was right.

Which is SO EFFING STUPID OF HIM. They're gonna find out! Loumand's literally drawing out this giant tragedy about what happens when vampires--Armand, specifically--are LIED to, and you're gonna pull this mess on them!? You're not even being SUBTLE!

AGREEMENT.pdf--Daniel, you in danger girl.

Raglan, stop tryna gas Dan up b4 they put him off commission permanently. He's no body-snatching psychic CROOK like you.

Get this nosey bish offa my dang screen.

Oof, right in the Devil's Minion feels. U_U

O__O WOAH!? OK, so aside from Dan (played by EB, a white Jew, along with JK) throwing shade at Caucasian European Israelis (which we been knew), he's implying that Armand & Louis might be persons of interest in the UAE by the Israeli gov't & assassins, esp. cuz of their ties to powerful people. But it's funny cuz that's the exact same thing Lou asked about him.

So Dan's telling the sushi patrons there's Israeli spies/assassins crawling around Dubai--STOP, b4 you get that place John Wick'd! XD

Not MI6. 😭 I said JOHN WICK, not JAMES BOND. XD

Raglan's gone full rogue then--if he was still working for the Talamasca he'd have darn near unlimited funds--they got that dirty TEMPLAR money. 💰💰💰

Yeah, and they don't actually call the Talamasca by name in the ep itself--only in the Insider interviews the producers give.

Daniel, why TF are you talking SO EFFING LOUD, when Raglan's whispering, tryna act like he's on the phone NOT talking to you in case y'all ARE being bugged. 🤦 SUBTLETY, my guy. What kinda investigative journalist are you?

I'm starting to suspect they're not gonna do the rockstar!Lestat, and instead this stupid Great Conversion's gonna be what wakes up Akasha/Amel, when their blood/consciousness gets stretched way too thin with all these new vamps being made.

To attempt an interview...? I believe that. We already know Marius & Lestat stalked Talamasca members for decades upon decades. Ain't no way NO vampire ever tried getting close to humans & talk about their lives to someone out of loneliness or something. Esp. the ones not attached to the European covens & all their stupid Great Laws.

Rest in Preternaturalism, Raymond Gallant.

BLENDERS! XD But this is THE most Anne Ricean answer imaginable, cuz everyone lost their ish when she had her vamps flying around with GPS-trackable cellphones in their pockets as they KILLED people. Rookie mistake. 😂

Armand was on a cellphone in S01E07, and he is LITERALLY married to his iPad, so PLEASE, sir. 🙄

There's Santiago's COMPLICIT speech coming back. Ain't no moral high-ground here!

And I figured Armand/AMC was gonna pin it on AMC!Lestat, and his jaded version the Savage Garden.

Armand says technology distracts humans from vampire crimes, but what's distracting vampires from psychic/Talamasca crimes, huh?

ISTG these are the laziest vamps I've ever seen; they care so much about their privacy & security, but aren't reading Dan's mind at all? I hope one of them just casually name-drops Raglan or catches Daniel in the act or something.

Raglan said Daniel's laptop was "comically vulnerable," and uploads a bunch of data files on it from the Bibliotheca Talamasca bestiary/archives--WHY? To help show Daniel he's helpful & trustworthy?

RJ: Omakase? Louis: The conversation was easy and flirtatious.... Armand: And combative. Louis: And combative, yes. Daniel: Arguing as foreplay. RJ: Peruse at your leisure.

I hate this effing show. 🙇🙇🙇

[thatdeadaquarius]

Admiiinnn do you write for platonic sagau?

Me wanna request my son (Razor) ue.

Because most of the fics I've read is just the creator falling on Mondstadt but never other places! I want them to fall on Wolvendom and maybe meet the wolf boy 🐨

I imagine he doesn't know/able to describe what he's feeling (not understanding human emotions and stuff because he grows up with wolves and all). But he really likes this feeling of peace and feeling like he belongs! So he'll stay with this random person that just dropped out of nowhere, and teach them how to survive in the wild too!

Unlike the overly-obsessed-head-over-heels acolytes, I think Razor will be like a worrywart bestfriend. You're his lupical now! It's his duty to protect other lupicals!

Days with him will literally be so fluffy ueueueu imagine we teach him how to cook things besides meat and puppy-paw hash browns (and teach him how to season them too! Good food always relies on taste after all). He'll just be like a little sibling that saw a very cool trick for the first time.

Aaaaa I wanna braid his long hair with flowers ue...

a request. A REQUEST. FIRST GENUINE REQUEST!! WOO!!!

AND A PLATONIC ONE?? 🥺 FOR THE BOY??🥺🥺THE MOST BOY IN ALL OF GENSHIN IMPACT???!!💖💖💖 YOU 🤝 ME = OUR LOVE FOR LIL ELECTRO FERAL PUPPY BOY

U get a whole slice of cake for that one. 🤲🍰��

DUDE i totally thought abt (idk if u read it but its floatin around here smwhere,,) including Razor in the first Sagau idea post i made about Blunt Language reader vs. Teyvat's flowery language

TYSM FOR THE REQUEST!! I WILL DO MY BEST FOR THE BOY 💜✨️🐺

This gif encompasses everything i feel abt razor

Almost a part 2? But more like Bennett ft. Razor

Welp, you could've landed somewhere worse.

Like, accidentally-activated-Andrius-challenge worse.

You vowed to urself that if u ever got isekaied, or magicked away, or whatever else, u would not be those stupid protagonists who acted like they didnt know where they were

Or didnt adjust quickly to their new surroundings, esp if theyre life depended on it

U got this, u know exactly where u are rn. >:)

...

..Well, maybe not the exact location, but Wolvendom was pretty hard to mistake for anything else

The moon is full, and it looks to be about midnight or so,

A wolf howls.

...a little too close for comfort...

But hey, the lamp grass irl was so cute and pretty omg! <3

And it lit the ground nicely when u were nearby :) what a helpful aesthetic plant, so cool

Seeing a hilichurl camp further away, u slowly backed off into the woods away from the path u landed on (woke up on? Its unclear)

And up onto a small flat cliff thingy, filled with small lamp grass

U figured u werent getting anywhere tonight, i mean u rlly can't see jackshit rn, unlike in Genshin where the moon was almost as bright as the sun 💀

So ur just sittin on ur ass, wondering how tf ur gonna build a wolf-proof shelter when a bush shuffles nearby

...On ur little platform, how did u not hear whatever it was before now??

Too late now, bc u saw smth silver, and welp

U knew there were wolves, (its wolvendom)

But since u never saw any in game u kinda assumed they were like Earth wolves and were unlikely to get near a human like u-

Turns out u were probably wrong- the silver flashes in the bush- u get up and brace urself to run screaming and begging on ur knees for Andrius to take u in like-

.

..

...?

...Razor?? 😐😑😐

...

RAZOR!! :D!!!

It's the Best Boy™️!!!!!

The bestest boy ever sticks his head out of the bush

!!!??? His head tilts like a puppy in confusion ur heart💘

"...Lupical??" He says in the most confused ass tone youve ever heard

🥺

"Oh! Yes! Hello," you introduce yourself, "Can you help me? I got kinda lost here, but I don't really have a home to go back to,,"

Razor stands out of the bush, shaking his head back and forth like a dog, his hair nearly whips u in the face lmao

You: "AHH- uh- so, do u know somewhere I can go??"

Razor: "Mhm. Here. Razor like you, feel like Lupical. Stay?"

He asks, his eyes bright and shiny (not the puppy dog eyes)

Well, u figure if he can literally be raised by wolves and still be alive, so can u

(U figure itd be hard to convince Diluc to let u stay w/ him, and u dont have money for an inn in Mondstadt.. u dont even kno abt Springvale... wolf woods it is)

Plus, maybe u can help him out a bit! (it always did irritate u in game that nobody rlly checked on him/helped him live better >:/ )

"Oh! Y-yeah! That sounds great, are u sure ur family's- uh- other Lupical, r ok w/ that?" U hella dont wanna have to wrestle other wolves just for some raw food bc yall gotta share 💀

"Yes, come, I teach!" :D

___

AND SO BEGINS UR ADVENTURES WITH RAZOR

Bbyboy got ur heart in a vice gripe lol

Turns out he lives in a cave, that wasn't rlly available in game

His bed is just kinda,, moss and leaves, maybe one fur pelt

So obv u start gettin chests and get money to buy him better stuff!

Plus monsters drop money too (the slimes just bring u money?? W/o u having to defeat them?? Whos paying all these monsters anyway, where do they get this money-)

.

Also bc i HATE that u r just a regular ass human in other SAGAUs, imma keep it canon and say u can still upgrade Vision Users/Allogenes + all the regular game mechanics besides time manipulation, including quest log and inventory (bc that still exists here fuck regular sagau BS)

(bc how would u prove ur the Creator otherwise? How would u live up to that if u didnt have powers?? Isnt that the whole point of why they think ur the Creator???!! Did I miss smth here-??)

.

So ofc u give the boy the comfiest bed of pillows and furs and handmade quilts (Springvale's very talented and friendly turns out :)

And new clothes!! :D new outfits pop up on his character screen!! (It just kinda,, hovers like a hologram screen in front of him when u click a button u see hovering over his chest at all times)

.

U also teach him how to comb his hair.

(J. F. C. I dont even wanna think. abt how bad it is, a kid raised by wolves, in the woods w/ little human contact?? ill leave that to ur imagination)

He really loves the lamp grass flowercrowns u make him :) <3

.

Also yes.

We have to talk about it.

U got him soap.

And perfume. (That are still scented but not enough that he hates it thank fuck-)

.

Razor seems like he'd react to everything with either worry for ur safety (BEST BOY EVER) bc sm stuff u do is unfamiliar to him,

OR just like u said anon, like a little sibling u showed a magic trick to for the first time <3333

.

Like?? U can?? Use salt?? Pepper??? On food??? That u have cooked???!!!

Omg, his grubby little hands snatch that shit outta ur pan so quick 😭😭

He's literally scarfs down anything u make him

Oh god the wolves.

If u thought Razor loved ur food, the Lupical pack is on a whole different level.

They're such sweet doggos bc ur technically Lupical now too (Razor gave u a tooth necklace like his :] )

!!! PUPPY PILES !!! 🤲🐺💖💜✨️✨️✨️

And theyre never violent, even their play fighting is pretty tame

But the food.

Ur seasoned. New recipe. Food.

The first time u made a new dish with salt alone

It was a fucking free for all. (including Razor😭)

.

So now u have a schedule of who gets what when (as insisted and aided by Andrius himself, it got so out of hand,, paw??)

Congratz u got a pack of little siblings now, w/even the "will be bribed w/any food u give them" feature too

.

Razor loves u sm, he feels so safe around u!!

He usually cant articulate it, but u can tell by how he clings to ur arm whenever yall go into human towns so he wont lose u,

Or how he'll offer u some of his portion of food always (even if u made it)

.

and he's happy to do all these new things w/ u !!

(i sure as fuck know id get bored af if i was just,, in the woods,, all day everyday,,, not even a book to read,,,)

So needless to say he joins u for nearly everything u do

Esp monster hunting/grinding for his artifacts + weapon + stuff

Razor sees it as his job to look out for Lupical, esp if his favorite (besides Andrius) has to leave pack territory

.

Also yes, u DID meet The Andrius.

He was. So much. Bigger. Than you. Expected.

The game doesn't do him justice.

He's literally the size of a fucking school bus.

Also, apparently Razor didnt rlly know what u were, mostly bc he just feels ur comfort and safety, no words needed

But Andrius does, and he immediately explains how Teyvat sees u and even does a wolfy bow with his head lowered onto his front paws (ahdkala Andrius pls ur a gOD GET UP)

He's also surprisingly helpful and nice to u, very polite big doggo, a good leader (alpha??)

.

Lisa is hella grateful for u and all the help/care u give the bestest boy ever

(even tho u did give her the stink eye at first bc,, why didnt she teach him how to take care of himself? And even if he didnt want to join human society at least make sure he's in liveable conditions?? Hes not even an adult???)

But at least she also agrees he's the bestest boy ever, she always brags about how quickly he learns language (both writing reading and speaking) to anyone she knows

Which did endear u to her a little more (plus she apologized for not looking out for him more, or at least asking someone else to/check up on him)

.

U kinda think she (and the rest of Mondstadt) dont really realize ur some kind of Creator god,

Mostly bc u dont really stay in Mondstadt long, just to get essentials and see what it looked like in person (smtimes to visit Bennett and Fischl :D )

(U mostly only know that bc Andrius claims its so, hes very insistent too)

But ur spending most ur days with Razor anyway so it doesnt matter to you two whether ppl know what u can do

.

Razor was practicing his writing one time (bc u also help him out at home/Wolvendom when Lisa isnt)

And he carved "Razor loves Lupical and [You]" into a tree near yalls cave

:')

🎵 JESSSSUSSS CHRISSSSTTT THIS IS TOO LONGGG

BUT I DONT FEEL LIKE EDITINNGGGGG🎵

I didnt know where to end it i got sucked in dont LOOK at me-)

Uh anyway i hope this was adequate!! Sorry this was ungodly long!! I will limit myself in the future 🥲

Tysm again for the request and if u read this far LMAO!!

<3

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius ♒️ 💧🌌🌘

[dumpsterfire-daydreams]

Adorable Ghost, Adorable Reader, (I'm not saying anything else because the rest is a surprise lol)

Seriously, thank all of you so much for your support and enthusiasm. This was my first ever real story and I wasn't sure how it was going to play out. I just wanted to scratch out my smutty drabbles and let them float away on the internet. I never knew folks would actually read my stuff, let alone enjoy it! But literally from day one, you guys showed up and showed tf out lol. And I can't thank you enough. Y'all are the fuel to my writing choo choo train and that train is gonna keep on chugging! Thank y'all for everything! And if there's every a story idea you wanna drop in my insta or want to get in line for a commission, drop me a message! Even if you just wanna chat or play videogames together, I'm down.

All my love,

DumpsterFireDaydreams

Reader POV:

Many years later,...

"Princess?" Simon called from across the front yard, scanning the area for any sign of you. "Where are you hiding?"

After all these years, he still called you "princess". Others called their other half "babe" or "honey". But you were his little princess and always would be. While you might have grown a bit older, the loving term never did. It made your heart flutter just as strongly as it always had. The only person whose title had changed was his. You still stuck to "Ghost" when you weren't alone. But at your home in the countryside, you only called him Simon. Your Simon.

"I'm over here!" You shouted back from the car port, peeking your head out from behind the bumper of the pickup truck to wave him down.

Simon jogged over to where you sat, hunched over the open hood of an old pickup truck. Your hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail and all manner of car fluids stained your hands.

"What the hell are you doing out here?" He asked, genuinely surprised. "Gave me a real scare when I couldn't find you inside."

"Sorry. I'm just tinkering," you chirped, patting the other half of your work bench. "How was work?"

He happily sank down on the seat beside you, stretching a bit. "Ah, you know. Same old, same old. Rookies who need to slow down and master the basics, veterans that need reminders on how things are done, and the regulars who always manage to get into some kinda trouble no matter what I say. Same story every day without fail."

As much as he complained about it, you knew he loved what he did. Even though he'd stepped down for the taskforce a few years ago, he never really left his training behind. And a local paintball team had practically begged him to step in as their head coach. It was a happy middle ground for both of you though. He got the rush of battlefield strategy and waging war. You got the benefit of him coming back home splattered with brightly colored paint instead of blood. It was a win-win all around.

"Are the guys really going to come buy and show them how the pros do it? Because if they do, I wanna watch."

"Yeah, they should all be coming down next weekend. Figured it'll give them a good bit of fun for once."

You paused, quickly counting on your fingers to do a headcount. "How many am I cooking for again? Well, just tell me who is gonna make it so I can know what to make for everybody."

"Price is definitely coming. Soap said he wouldn't miss this for the whole world. And I just know he's bouncing off the walls with excitement already."

"I have no doubts about that," you laughed, shaking your head. "Please remind him some of these players are kids. The last thing we need is some angry parent mad that he took a mug shot at their little angel."

You could picture the scenario all too easily. Soap crouched behind a corner, smirking mischievously as he waited for an unsuspecting opponent to wander his way. And the second someone did, he'd pop out and send paint pellets splattering across the front of their mask. You could practically hear his raucous laughter just imagining it.

"He'll be fine," Simon huffed, waving his hand. "Don't let his cover fool you. No matter how old he gets, I swear he's just an oversized kid himself by the way he acts sometimes. They'll probably love him the most."

"True. So Price and Soap. Anyone else?"

"Alejandro is still back home visiting his girl, but he said he should make it here just in time. And König and Ida are flying in from overseas to see everyone. Figured we'd make a 141 family reunion out of it."

"König and Königin, you mean."

Simon rolled his eyes at the correction. "Ida, Königin, same difference. Their callsigns are too damn similar and it's confusing."

Though it had been pretty confusing at first, you thought the matching callsigns were adorable. After König had settled down back home, he'd reconnected with an old flame from his special forces days. And when he'd brought her to meet the rest of the team, they lovingly called her Königin. And it made sense why they had. If "König" meant king and she was his partner, it only made sense to give her the German title for queen. It fit her too. Because though she was a force to be reckoned with in the field, Ida carried herself with a soft gracefulness in peacetime. You'd finally gotten to meet her the last time you and Simon had visited his old base. And she was such a sweetheart. The same loving tenderness König exuded was evident in her too. And König looked genuinely happy. He had a new air of peace and calm about him. Even confidence! And you were happy for him too.

Everyone had shown up to their wedding, Soap eager to lead the rowdy reception. She invited you to stand by her side as a part of her bridal party and you happily accepted. And when you and Simon tied the knot a few years afterwards, the whole team regrouped all over again for the celebration. If someone had told you that the gruff, skull-faced lieutenant would one day be your husband, you never would have believed them. And if they had told you König was destined to be his best man, standing by his side for support as he recited his heartfelt vows to you, you would have thought they were insane! But after the dust had settled from when the two of you had parted ways, you and König were quick to resume a close friendship. And when your wedding day arrived, König and Ida were right there by your side to ensure everything was perfect for your special day.

It was always so nice to have everyone back together again. Any excuse to get the family all in one place was never wasted. Though years had spread them all apart distance-wise, their shared bonds continued to remain strong as ever. Like a true family should.

"Hmmm," you pursed your lips, deep in thought. "Maybe I should make something simple that everyone would actually eat. Hot dogs and hamburgers? I'll man the grill!"

"Oh, no you don't," Simon laughed. "You combined with open flame? I don't know if I like the sound of that."

"Aw, come on! I've been working on this truck all afternoon and it's still in one piece!"

Simon tilted his head, studying your work. Though he was hesitant, he couldn't argue with what he saw. Everything you'd done in the engine bay was carried out just as he would have done them himself. Your hands were hopelessly dirty, but your handiwork was impeccable by his standards.

"That's a fair point," he nodded, clearly impressed. "But what made you wanna get your hands dirty with this thing again? You decide to give the old fella another go?"

"Yeah. I really wanna figure him out and finally get him on the road again," you sighed. "After errands, I got a bit restless and wanted something fun to do."

Simon chuckled, a soft smile spreading across his face. "You call this old piece of junk fun?"

"Shhh! Don't say that!" you giggled. "You'll hurt his feelings!"

"He can consider it payback for hurting my feelings all these years. Breaking down at the worst times and all that nonsense. But if he doesn't like it, he's more than welcome to start up anytime he wants."

You patted the side of the car lovingly. "He will! He's just a late bloomer. But he'll grow up big and strong, just like his daddy."

Ghost laughed, shaking his head. As he did, his brown strands caught in the breeze, the wind tussling them up a bit. It seemed another haircut was in order. No matter how many times you nudged him to let it grow out, Simon was firmly stuck in his ways. He didn't need any fuss over his looks. Just a kitchen chair and the steady hum of the clippers in your hand was heaven enough for him.

"Besides," he'd always say. "No one's gonna see it under the mask."

And he was right. It wouldn't show then. But over the years, that mask was another layer of himself he'd shed when it was just the two of you. He'd still pull it out every now and then for some sexy fun. But for the most part, it sat idle on the mantle beside his death certificate until it was needed again.

They were small steps to most people: using his name and baring his face. But for him, you knew they were huge. Without those barriers between him and the outside world, he was vulnerable. He was unguarded. He was human. And it touched you to see him gradually grow comfortable enough to be so vulnerable around you. He always protected you from physical threats or danger without fail. But it was your greatest honor to protect the tender heart he'd kept hidden for so long.

"I know you love working on this thing," he said, rubbing your back. "But are you sure it's worth the effort? We already have my jeep and it runs just fine. We could probably make a decent chunk of change selling this old thing for scraps."

"No," you smiled, but your voice was firm as you shook your head. "We're not selling it, Simon. We need it!"

You let your vague response linger in the air until Simon prompted you to continue, right on cue. "...For?"

"You know I have safety concerns with jeeps. The whole 'no doors or windows' thing?"

Simon scoffed and rolled his eyes, knowing full well where the conversation was headed. His treasured car had been the topic of many heated discussions over the years, some playful and some admittedly not so playful. But when he opened his mouth to defend himself, you rushed on.

"We need something that can get us safely from one place to another. You, me,... and the baby."

All of Simon's prepared arguments flew out the window as he sat there in stunned silence, dumbfounded. He had mentally listed every possible counter to what you had to say, but there was no way he could have anticipated a declaration like that.

"You're-you're pregnant?!"

"Don't act so surprised," you giggled, swatting at him. "It takes two to tango and you know how much we tango. It was bound to happen eventually!"

"No, I'm serious," he whispered, grabbing your hand and turning you to face him. "You're really pregnant?"

You blushed, tearing up a bit as you nodded. "Mmhmm!"

His hands trembled against your shoulders, his eyes wide as a million questions flew through his mind. But he held them all at bay to pull you into a tight embrace.

"Holy shit, princess!" he murmured, laughing in pleasant surprise. "I… We… We're gonna be parents! Princess!"

"I took the test when I got home. I did two, actually. We're gonna be parents!"

"Is it a boy? Is it a girl? What is it?" Simon pulled back, his hands hovering over your stomach as he knelt to lovingly coo at where his child was growing. "Are you a boy, a girl, something in between?"

"Simon!" You doubled over slightly as you laughed, clutching his arm for support. "It's way too early to even know something like that yet!"

"Well, whatever you turn out to be, don't you worry 'bout a thing. I'll be standing by and looking out. And the second you give the signal for evac, I'll meet you at the extraction point. Okay, little one? Just don’t give your Ma a hard time or we'll have problems."

"Aw, they wouldn't dream of it," you murmured. "I'm sure I won't even feel a thing!"

Simon gave you a doubtful look before laughing along with you. You were both practically bursting with joy and excitement. Your eyes danced with a bright happiness. But as he traced your cheek with his fingertips, he could sense there was trepidation in there too.

"Hey, you're gonna be just fine. When the cravings hit, when you start crying over every little thing, and when the baby finally comes? We'll get through it together. Even at the scariest parts, I'll be right there with you. Okay?"

"I know," you sighed. "It's just really sudden. I mean, we've talked about starting a family before. And I'm so excited to finally do it! But I'm kinda scared, too. Shocker, I know, but I've never done any of this before. Is it normal to be this nervous?"

"I say it is. Hell, I'm nervous too. But you're gonna be just fine. You're gonna be a great mother, princess. Trust me. It's me I'm more worried about, honestly. Didn't exactly have the best example for fatherhood growing up. And I really don't wanna mess up, you know?"

"I know how you feel, Si. But look at it this way! You've always been there for me, protecting me and taking care of me. Without fail. You didn't mess me up!"

His face fell into a lopsided smirk. "Didn't mess you up maybe. But I sure knocked you up good, huh?"

"Stop, I'm being serious," you laughed. "Honestly. They'll be lucky to have you as a dad. You're gonna do great, I know it."

Simon relaxed a bit more, clinging to your words of encouragement. Eventually, he nodded and let out a breath of relief. His hands cradled your sides, pulling your stomach close as he planted a gentle kiss against your abdomen. His future child hadn't even arrived yet, but he was already wonderstruck and showering it with love.

"You're gonna laugh, but I had a silly idea for names."

"Oh?" Simon raised an eyebrow. "Lay it on me."

"Well, if it's a girl, we could name her Lilith. It means 'ghost' or 'spirit of the night'. And if it's a boy, maybe Caden? 'Spirit of War' just stood out to me. It's dumb, I know. But I thought it'd be fun to keep the Ghost theme going in a subtle way. Our own little family tradition."

"Lily and Cade," he murmured, immediately creating affectionate nicknames for both options. "It's not dumb, love. It's perfect. Our own little band of ghouls and ghosts."

"It's your kid too, though. You have any ideas?"

Simon rose to his feet, brushing the dust off his pants. "I don't have names or anything. But I do wanna sort something out right right off the bat. We'll baby-proof the house. And all my guns and ammo will be kept safely out of reach. But the minute they are old enough, I'm teaching the little rascal how to shoot. If they wanna be Little Ghosts in name, they gotta fight like one too."

"I suspected as much," you giggled. "I was gonna make you promise to be safe at first, but I know you. They'll be in good hands."

"Oh, the best hands," he smirked, puffing out his chest. "But come on. Let's get you inside and off your feet."

The sun was starting to dip lower on the horizon. But as late as it was getting, you didn't have the heart to leave the car port just yet. The open engine bay yawned at you, seemingly pulling you in. It always felt like the perfect fix was just around the corner. And though it never was, you weren't ready to surrender for the night just yet.

"Aw, man! Five more minutes? I'm okay, I promise!"

"Nope," Simon shook his head, tugging the tools from your hands before scooping you up in his arms. "That was an order, princess. I'm not taking any risks. Don't worry about the car, though. I'll sort it out myself now that I've got a good reason to. But from here on out, Lily comes first."

"Or Cade," you chirped, poking his arm. "It could still go either way!"

"You think I can't tell when I’m in the presence of a princess? Trust me, it's Lily. I just have a feeling. Call it a fatherly instinct."

[yaboy-miz]

I have some COTL followers that I want to draw so bad but I have no idea how to draw furries so while I figure out how tf a snout works in a front or 3/4 view I’ll just describe them for now.

Haar was my first follower. They were a grey rabbit with white tufts of fur on their cheeks. I don’t remember their personality. Their name was actually lost for a while because of a weird glitch where all of my followers from before a certain point didn’t show up when doing a resurrection, but I never forgot their face. They started showing up again sometime after the update so now I have that record again. In my little bit of lore I have for them, they never got a grave because there were very few resources and their body was damaged in a way that would make burying them difficult (in the actual game I butchered them by accident while getting used to the controls), so the lamb gave them an unmarked stone with some loose things around it. Over time their name was lost to history and even the Lamb forgot, so when resources were plentiful enough that they could afford to give a centuries-old grave some attention they drew a picture of them from memory rather than writing their name.

Thebre is my oldest living follower and also my favorite. He’s also bugged in some weird way where he somehow lost all of his naturally occurring traits, which resulted in me getting soft locked whenever I selected him first in the mating tent. I don’t know if it’s been fixed but I’m sure as hell not gonna test that. He’s my spouse and im pretty sure he was one of if not the first that I married. This guy has died five separate times and it’s actually ridiculous. His first was via sacrifice because I had the Good Die Young trait and I didn’t want him to die in shame. The second was before the update that let them take off their necklaces because he had a skull necklace and I wanted to give him a gold skull necklace. The last three are because this dumbass managed to have his soul damned three separate times before the game was patched so that they’d return alive after you defeat them thrice. Two of those were because this fucker won’t stop drinking. I have a lot of lore for him that I’ll go into later but the one bit I will drop because it’s funny as fuck is that he somehow became lovers with every single god in the cult grounds except for Narinder, and that’s only because I’m married to both of them. This man fell for five different gods and I think that’s hilarious, so in his lore I decided that he has a one sided crush on all of them but doesn’t make a move because he’s old enough to remember who they are.

I have more but they don’t have much lore so I’ll cover them later.

[dontlookforme00]

Do you folks think I should write a morro fanfic

Reasoning: I love morro

Here's the main idea if it helps

Starts at where Wu tries to save Morro from the preeminent and he's about to do the whole "You can only save those who want to be saved, sensei"

Except Wu's hand slips for just a second and his legs go into the water and it hurts like fucking hell and he screams and realises how afraid he is to die and he's like 'sensei...help me' and its just the child part of him crying out

Parallels yk

Anyways Morro lowkey wanted to die mainly because he had no reason to live and also didn't wanna face the consequences of his actions

He's petty like that, we all know Morro

So he's like really sick, strangely, because ghosts can't get sick, but all his legs and some of his torso were destroyed by the water

Ofc they'll reappear but it takes all his ghostly energy and he's in like a feverish state

Wu is the only one who wants to forgive him / has already forgiven him

Kai is more aggressive than usual (hard to achieve ik) and he's like 'FUCK THE RULES MASTER HES WEAK KILL HIM NOW' meanwhile lloyd ":("

And Wu is like kai chill, nya chill, you guys,,,,

Then, after a bit, morro strengthens and all ninja negotiate ground rules with him (1. Don't possess lloyd 2. Dont annoy us or we will shower you 3. Listen to us)

Which, he immediately breaks, as you'll see

Morro tries to do something with one of the ninjas stuff and lloyd tries to stop him except he's kinda done with this ghosts bs so now he's regained confidence to be passive aggressive

This infuriates morro (angsty teenager)

Morro possesses him so lloyd will know he is still in charge and better than him because morro was feeling very jealous

Buuuttt because he's still weak lloyd forces him out and morro is like

"Fuck

I broke their only rule"

And as Lloyd begins to break down from the flashbacks morro fucking leaps off the bounty and begins to run because HE ALR KNOWS THE NINJA ARE COMING AFTER HIM

Cue morro panicking running blaming himself and overall wanted arc begins

The ninja begin to look for him after a few hours (pov switch)

And everyone especially kai are like OK SO WE GAVE THE BASTARD A CHANCE NOW HE DIES

And originally, they were going to help hide morro from the public bcos yk he was a villain but now they release the public statement that he is still alive and to be careful, report him, police need to kill him etc. War criminal etc etc.

Morro makes it to ninjago city after a few days and once realises he's like a public enemy and also pretty easy to see as a ghost

He's too weak to fight the ninja, his separation from the preeminent also weakened him

He's like tf do I do man

It's gonna rain soon so he needs to like rent a hotel get a job or find somewhere dry and safe to hide

But he needs a ✨️disguise ✨️

So he focuses all his energy on becoming tangible so he can wear clothes other than the ones he died in (my au my ghost rules ok)

After a while it takes all his energy and its painful af all the while the ninja are getting closer he's contemplating suicide atp

He collapses in some alleyway, flickering in and out of solidity

Until some kid, probably like 12 or 14 finds him

And I won't explain the whole thing but basically the kid, ofc, acts like a teen. Doesn't care if morro is wanted, lives in poverty, cares for morro which confuses him, and then the morro protects the kid from others

And they learn to rely on each other slowly because morro sees alot of himself in that kid yk

Anyways haven't figured out further than that

There probably only gonna be like 12 people reading this so heya

Also I have written the first chapter and posted it ;)))

[showfallmediamaintenance]

[The video starts with a half blocked view of the interior of a car, the door opens and the two step out into the crisp night air. The car door shuts and Edgar thanks the driver as he speeds off. Leaving the duo alone in front of the looming abandoned office building.]

Mari: It's weird I've never actually been to an abandoned office building.

Edgar: Honestly, it seems like you would have at this point.

Mari: Listen, just because I set off 377 fireworks outside of a mall doesn't mean I randomly walk into abandoned places.

Edgar: Hm, yeah. It just seems like you would, though. Considering your horror series. Maybe I’m just thinking about it wrong. I don’t know.

[The ground sways as Edgar bounces from one leg to another, idly keeping himself busy.]

Mari: The only abandoned places I've ever walked into for a horror series, is an abandoned hospital and that school.

Edgar: Christ, you’ve been to an abandoned hospital? How much do you travel?

Mari: I'll be honest… I haven't been home in 3 months, so a lot ig.

Edgar: Huh. Um, I think we strayed a little off topic. Where do you think Mai would be in this building?

Mari: Whatever room has the most technology, mai always talked about those damn wires so that's the best bet.

Edgar: Yeah, probably, you ready?

Mari: Honesty? no, but I've come this far. It seems kinda dumb to back out now.

Edgar: Alright, let’s go.

[The camera angle changes from a half-blocked view of the floor to a full view of the front of the building, Edgar having put his phone in his front shirt pocket. The building looks unstable, and casts a large shadow over the two, blocking out the moon. They begin to move towards the entrance.]

Mari: This place is fucking creepy.

Edgar: Yeah, and very unsafe. We should try to be as quick as possible.

Mari: I mean yeah good point but how are we supposed to be quick in a fight?

Edgar: Hit first, hit fast. That’s what my dad taught me.

Mari: Nice…Um, anyway how are we supposed to find the room with the tech?

Edgar: Since it’s an office building, I’d assume there would be tech on every floor. Which actually makes this harder, damnit.

Mari: Wait… does Mai sing like a song or do something to taunt you? if so that could make this easier.

Edgar: Maybe? I– wait, hold on, did you see that?

[Edgars arm gestures to the building vaguely.]

Mari: See what? bro is your vision going out? no offence.

Edgar: Hey! Full offence taken! No, I’m talking about the figure that just ran by the fourth floor window.

Mari: Bro I didn't see shit I'll be honest.

Edgar: Maybe your vision is going…

Mari: Not scientifically possible.

Edgar: Mhm, yeah, alright. We should go to the fourth floor.

Mari: Alright, sure.

[The two enter the building, and begin carefully making their way to the fourth floor, taking the stairs very cautiously, so as to not get injured.]

Mari: Ok what now?

Edgar: Well, we find Mai. And we win. I… have to be honest, I had no plan, I know I said I did, but…

Mari: 1. alright how do we do that? 2. I'm gonna kick your fucking ass if we survive this.

Edgar: Well, strike first, strike fast. Also, not if I run away.

[Edgar chuckles, he turns to Mari, who does not look very amused.]

Mari: That doesn't answer the first thing.

[A faint noise can be heard out of view. Edgar gasps.]

Edgar: Shh… do you hear that?

Mari: Um… Oh shit yeah…… who tf is humming that?

Edgar: It’s her, she’s up here.

Mai: Dear Rose Was Sad She Knew She'd Been Had…

[Edgar tenses up, barely moving. The camera stays eerily still.]

Mari: AYO! That's not very nice.

Edgar: Oh, you motherfucker… Get the hell out here.

Mai: Ugh…. Fine.. Huh, I Guess Rose Was Foreshadowing Something With That Song, You Really Did Understand Mechanical Hands.

Edgar: I swear to god… Mari, could you hold on to my phone? I have a score to settle.

[The angle switches again as Edgar passes the phone to Mari. After his hands are free again, he rolls up the sleeves of his bloodied dress shirt and grips the crowbar in both of his hands, preparing for a fight.]

Mari: Shit alright!

Mai: Why Do You Have A Score To Settle With Me? I'm The Reason Your Idiot Daughter Isn't Dead On The Mall Floor.

Edgar: There were so many other options. I’m not going to listen to anything you say.

Mai: Oh Yeah Because You Did Such A Great Job At Keeping Rose Safe Didn't You? Leaving Her For Dead?

[Edgar visibly tenses up, tightening his grip on his crowbar.]

Edgar: Shut up! You don’t know what you’re talking about!

[Without another word, Edgar lunges at Mai, who had been expecting this. She swiftly sidesteps the attack, leaving Edgar stumbling forward into nobody.]

Mai: What? Do You Think I'm Just Gonna Stand There? Maybe If I Did You'd Actually Do Something Right. :)

[Mai kicks Edgar in the arm, knocking him over.]

Edgar: Fucking hell, quite literally kicking someone while they’re down. Not that I wouldn’t put it past you.

Mai: At Least I Didn't Leave My Daughter Who Trusted Me, Just To Go Save Two People. And After You Promised The Poor Girl.

Edgar: You’re a real A+ bitch, you know that?

[Edgar coughs into his arm, glaring daggers up at Mai.]

Mari: Um shit….. what to do, what to do…..

[Edgar stands, wobbling a little, he turns back to Mari and he begins to respond. Before he can, broken ceramic shards fly past his face, landing a few blows, he winces and whips back around to Mai.]

Mai: Aww I Missed. :(

Edgar: Well. Unlike you, I won’t.

[Edgar swings at Mai with his crowbar, Mai easily dodges, but Edgar swings back the other way, nailing her in the head, Mai falls to the floor.]

Mai: Huh… Maybe If You Did That More Often Rose Wouldn't Be A Monster.

Mari: fucking hell….

Edgar: I should really learn to ignore people while I’m fighting, but you’re really motivating me to win. Hopefully you aren’t too far gone by the time you reach the mall.

Mai: What Do You Get Out Of Killing Me? Think About It… The Only Person Who Could Maybe Fix Rose……. Killing Me Actually Wouldn't Bring That Brat Back.

[Instead of responding, Edgar grabs Mai’s shirt and shoves her into a wall, placing the crowbar horizontally across her neck. He pushes with increasing force.]

Mai: Haha I Knew You Didn't Care About Rose, So Do It… Kill Your Only Hope! Can You Bring Yourself To Do It?

Mari: Edgar, think about this…

Edgar: Fuck… I… you aren’t bluffing, are you?

Mai: Take A Guess You Fucking Idiot!

[Edgar pushes the crowbar further into her neck.]

Mari: Edgar, don't do this!

[Edgar pauses for what seems like an eternity, shaking slightly, he takes the crowbar off of Mai’s throat and stumbles backwards, he places one end of the crowbar on the ground as a support, he leans on it, just barely staying standing.]

Mai: You Really Are An Idiot. Just Like Your Daughter.

[Mai starts running away, stabbing Mari in the process. Mari yells out in pain as Mai stops near the stairwell.]

Mari: Fuck!

[The phone clatters to the floor, leaving the camera facing the ceiling in front of the stairs. Edgar shouts and sprints over to Mari.]

Edgar: Mari! Shit. Damnit. Fuck–

Mai: Perhaps We'll Meet Again Mechanic But Until Then, Enjoy The Show.

[Mai starts running down the stairs, holding her throat where the crowbar had been pressed to not moments before.]

Mari: shit….

Edgar: Mari, are you okay? Fuck, I knew that bitch was bluffing–

Mari: it wasn't a bluff edgar… At least i don't think so…. and I'm fine.

Edgar: You’ve just been stabbed, Mari. Where was it?

Mari: my shoulder….. and it's not like i haven't been stabbed before.

Edgar: No matter how many times you’re stabbed, it still hurts like hell. We need to stop the bleeding.

Mari: there's a jacket in my bag and a knife, cut up the jacket. It will work until I can get to a hospital.

Edgar: Alright, I’ll do that.

[Edgar wrenches the bag open and takes the jacket out, along with the knife, he quickly slices a chunk out and presses it to the wound.]

Mari: OW! that fucking hurt!...

Edgar: Sorry, I know… shit…

Mari: I'm sorry about mai escaping. I should have done more, i could have done more.

Edgar: No, you did your best. I should have planned this out, if I did, you wouldn’t have gotten stabbed, and Mai would probably still be in the building, I should have known.

Mari: You couldn't have planned for mai to say any of that.

Edgar: I… I could have, she’s been taunting me for at least a week, now. She tends to say things to get people riled up.

Mari: I don't think that was a taunt, I'll be honest.

Edgar: Hm. Well, we need to get you to a hospital. Do you think I should call another Uber?

Mari: Yeah…. I'll pay. I have some back-up money to my back-up money.

Edgar: Absolutely not, I have money. And I can earn it back. I’ll pay.

Mari: Fine then you do you, but after if they let me go home tonight when do i go? i don't trust my fucking house.

Edgar: Well, I have an apartment, but I’m not sure I can go there, my girlfriend might be there, and she’d send me directly back to the hospital to play angry birds again.

Mari: So I get in through the window? pretty fucking easy not gonna lie…. also what? angry birds?

Edgar: I fucking hate angry birds, the red one is so annoying. Um, sorry. I’m pretty sure you can just go into the apartment through the door, just don’t mention me. Kath wouldn’t turn you away.

Mari: That works I guess, what about you?

Edgar: … don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine.

Mari: I'm sneaking you in through the window, wouldn't be the first time I've done something like that for a friend won't be the last.

Edgar: You don’t need to do that, too risky for me, I’ll be okay.

[Mari takes their jacket off, they have on a t-shirt of a white rabbit mascot holding a knife. they also grab a mask and some sunglasses and hand them to edgar]

Mari: You’re not turning me down edgar.

Edgar: Hey, hospital first. We can talk about this after.

Mari: Ugh, fine, call the damn uber.

Edgar: Already on it.

[Edgar picks up the phone, and stares into the camera, his eyes widen as he sees the light flashing dimly on the top.]

Edgar: How long has this been…

[Edgar fumbles with the phone for a few seconds, and the video shuts off. Ending the video transcript.]

[theodoraflowerday]

young royals s3e1 episode reaction:

oh god oh lord

let's go

and his LAWYER? is this about sara reporting him?

oh ludwig speaks

THEYRE BEING SUPPORTIVE???? I fr thought their marriage was a sham lol

PILLS????? KRISTINA??????????

bro wille really is a mini kristina huh.

wait simon's never been to the palace before has he?

a SETTLEMENT??????????

BRO HE POSTED CSAM TO THE INTERNET WDYM A SETTLEMENT

oh. my god burn it to the GROUND LINDA

oh? oh my god? what the fuck???

"piss person" well you little bitch baby that is Indeed what you are so

ugh

Linda is so right but so is Simon

I really hope this isn't how it's solved tho I wanna see August burning

"I just want it to be over" oh my baby boy oh my son

what's this hi hi what is this heartstopper

CAN Y'ALL KISS??? IVE WAITED LIKE A YEAR AND A HALF?

"cozy" oh kflfjdlfjdlgkdlgkdlgkdl little shit

(ps if I didn't rewatch yesterday I fully wouldn't have caught that throwback)

when Simon touched the curtain I knew kslfjdlfjdlfjdlfj

THEYRE SUCH PRETTY KISSERS IM GONNA RIP MY LEGS OFF

IS THIS HOW YOU IMAGINED IT

THIS IS BETTER

BROOOOOOOOOOO IM GONNA SHOOT MYSELF IN THE FOOT

omfg they're SO CUTE I'M LOSING MY MIND

oh OH oh they're GOING at it

oh come ON

well that was precious as all hell

and now they're going back inside as if they weren't dry humping in wille's room 3 minutes ago. kings.

I want to smash rickard's face against a fire pit

simon: oh fuck. wille: oh yea you're lucky I didn't shoot you piece of shit

I'm losing my mind at linda being extremely surprised while kristina's like "sighs yeah. fucking figures. erik would never"

also losing my mind at wille's face lil bro is like AND I WILL DO IT AGAIN BAP BAP BAP

[maddie voice] FUCK YOU AUGUST

oh now linda's all disappointed. ok. be a better mom then.

i will literally rip August's face off idc

KRISTINA??????????

KRISTINA

omg felice

oh baby girl no

BUT SARA WAS A SNAKE

I want to give felice so many hugs my bbg

oh my god farima what the fuck sjgldjfkdjfldkf

WHAT THE FUCK

oh my god she really said "ok you're super gay now, wonderful, how can we use this to our advantage"

WELL ASK THEM?? YOU'RE THE LITERAL MOTHER IN THIS SCENARIO. ACT LIKE ONE.

linda has been pissing me tf off since last season idc

omg someone snitched on hillerska

OH

OHHHHHH

OH THEY KISSED IN PUBLIC

OH MY GOD

OH THEYRE GOING ALL OUT

hey now hey now this is what dreams are made of etc etc

BOTH THE CROWN PRINCE AND YOUR BOYFRIEND

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA

B O Y F R I E N D

let's fuckin GOOOOO ENDGAME BITCHES

if simon sneaks out it's gonna bite them in the ass tho lmao

"sleep with a freshman" August did that twice lmao gross

OH THEY KNEW

OH MY GOD HE'S DOWN BAD

vincent is such an asshole barfs

DONT TALK ABOUT HER LIKE THAT AWAJFLSJFKSJFSKJ

fine. I'm coming out. i am a big august/sara enjoyer.

not the tiny heart that's so fucking cute

he can't get tattoos?? that's such bullshit. get a tramp stamp wille it's what you deserve

not felice unloading on wille and simon HDKFJDKGJ babygirl I love you and you need a therapist bc that's so inappropriate

"how do you get over your best friend" felice baby im gonna send you a google doc called the lesbian masterpost hang on

yeah of course that piece of shit nasty asshole talked to the press lmfao

"ex" y'all kissed like twice, [clare from derry girls voice] look at the state of ya

actually? can rosh and ayub talk to him? with their fists? and a knife preferably?

you know, I actually kinda like nils. he's so fucked up but you can see he genuinely cares abt wille. in his own lil fucked up extremely upper class way.

SARA

SARA NOOOOOOOOOOOO

oh lmfao that's literally how my dad's house looks like when I show up haha sad

omg are they gonna initiate her again

OMG

OMG BABY GIRLS

BRO THEYRE GONNA CLEAN HER ROOM AND TAKE HER TO NEW YORK

TEEN GIRLS BRO

oh wille seems so cozy. wonder what's going to go down now.

oh did they write an article abt simon

oh

oh it was not about simon

oh sweet baby jesus

I mean. it was totally alexander wasn't it lmfao

but also like....... I love that they're blowing that shit up. blow that school up.

ALL CLASSES?????

aw they're sitting together. boyfriends.

"did that happen to you" how is wille more worried abt the gay porn one and not ALL THE OTHER SHIT THEY DID TO HIM

oh I like her she reminds me of the lady from the incredibles

ohhhh

NOT THE PHONES TOO?

get over yourself vincent. fuck you vincent.

oh they're gonna close this shit

aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

fuck okay wonderful

[thegeminisage]

tng update time!! last night we did "the mind's eye" and "in theory."

the mind's eye: REDEMPTION FOR GEORDI??? they wrote this episode for me specifically to heal me from my geordi holodeck trauma

actually when they first said he was going to risa my heart dropped like a stone...i don't want to see him next to a woman ever again

happily, he got brainwashed <3

i will say though that there was a fantastic setup with absolutely no follow through. come with me, Brainwashing Connoisseur, on a journey. what are the three most important factors in a brainwashing story? 1. indiscriminate murder one will later feel tortured about 2. Big Scene where we break the conditioning 3. the little chairs they always put them in

this episode only managed to hit 1 out of 3. and the little chair was great! i was horrified, and also twirling my hair about it. we did also have bonus point categories "doubting sense of reality," "unknowing agent of evil," and "amnesia about the conditioning" ticked off. HOWEVER.

not only was geordi NOT allowed to murder people or even get a good attempt in, he didn't even get saved by anyone important (like data). the closest we got was him shooting o'brien in the holodeck simulation. and that was fun and made me really excited for what was to come, which was a lot of nothing. data figuring it out and then NOT rushing to be the one to intercept geordi and lovingly, as a bestie, wrestle him to the ground? letdown. why tf was it worf. why were those random klingons holding him back. what were we DOING people did they just not know how to cook up a good brainwashing in 91 or what!!! honestly

that said i did like the plot twist about the klingon guy being evil because he was genuinely so helpful in a non-suspicious way and disliked that other klingon guy that worf and i dislike. i'm always happy to be surprised like this

also i really hope worf gets his honor back someday im tiiired of people being mean to him about it :(

and geordi's little therapy session at the end was funny too. he's like haha i don't remember being tortured in a brainwashing chair at all! and deanna's like oh you're Gonna remember. and then he starts to remember and we roll credits. perfect. 10/10. could not have asked for a better ending

or beginning for that matter. it was just the middle that sucked :(

in theory: this was another episode with a very nice set-up and a lackluster payoff

firstly can we not disrespect data or tasha yar by pretending they did not fuck...it was weird, and it was in a bad season, but they DID fuck and to act like data is a virgin is ridiculous. maybe he doesn't know "dating" since they didn't date but he definitely knows how sex works cuz he had it. with tasha yar. may she rest in peace

i actually really liked this at first because data's gf seemed to get a huge kick out of all the insanely weird shit that is just constantly coming out of his mouth, which is right and just. i think they leaned a little too hard on data taking things literally and being "people stupid" in this episode, but i could have forgiven it bc she looked SO FOND every time data was being weird. i even said out loud with my mouth "this is a requirement to love him and be his gf. you have to love the dumb shit he says."

BUT THEN THEY HOOKED UP AND SHE IMMEDIATELY STARTED TRYING TO CHANGE HIM? like, telling him how to receive her gift, telling him to paint and not paint and paint again, and she's like well at least you're trying, you'll get there, BITCH HE IS PERFECT AS HE IS i would date data and i wouldn't make him change ANYTHING

also, it's so stupid. he obviously knows you're supposed to say thank you when you get a gift and i bet he's learned "please don't let me interrupt" isn't always meant to be taken literally either. dude has like two decades of experience now he wasn't activated yesterday

that said, the section where data asks everyone's opinion on whether or not he should date this lady was 10/10 except for picard's response which was sexist. my absolute favorite was riker's he was like oh buddy. you are gonna get LAID if you date this girl and then you can find out why everyone loves SEX like I DO did i mention SEX IS GREAT?? and i do kind of forgive riker for not knowing data and tasha fucked bc tasha asked him not to tell. so it was just funny the guy is such a slut (affectionate, honorific) that he's excited for data to get some too. it was very healing after that whole thing with beverly to see him happy about his buddy getting laid or whatever.

also i'm so fucking thrilled we got to see his cat again i love spot so much fr <3

my other gripe with this episode, aside from this woman dating an android and then being shocked he acted like an android, is...what even was that b plot? it had NOTHING to do with anything. normally they're at least tangentially related and i kept waiting for the gf to be secretly behind it or to get killed by it but this time it really was just some random thing. which frankly i think could have been saved for a better episode bc putting that lady through the floor was probably the goriest think trek has done up til this point. it ruled. give us a whole 45 minutes of that shit (just no morgue scenes please).

again, great setup, could've been lots of fun, mostly wound up being watchable but lackluster. bordering on disappointing :( theme of the evening.......

TONIGHT: redemption parts i & ii. i normally dont like finishing a season and starting one in the same evening but watching percy jackson put us off one so i'm gonna be a grownup about it. goodbye season 4!!!

[mareastrorum]

WIP Wednesday: TF&TS (The Plan)

Here is a scene from chapter 1 of a longfic I am working on.

Fanfic Summary: Mollymauk Tealeaf survived the encounter with the Iron Shepherds, but a short time later, a spirit had begun hunting him, claiming that he stole his body. This Campaign 2 AU begins with Episode 26 and continues on from there.

This fanfic will be posted on AO3 starting in June or July.

Caleb Widogast was having fourth thoughts about recruiting Otis. He had his second thoughts immediately upon seeing them in that tavern in Shadycreek Run, and then had third thoughts upon recruiting Caduceus Clay and overhearing Otis’s strange opinions about the Blooming Grove.

Each time, Caleb had reasoned that the Mighty Nein could use all the help they could get. He could not be picky, especially considering that Otis was already familiar with the Savalirwood and the Sour Nest. They had even sketched out a reasonably intelligible map of the grounds and the building—apparently, it had been a former Jagentoth manor, then was converted to a hideout for the Iron Shepherds after an “untimely” death in the family.

Unfortunately, the Nein had briefly stopped by to discover that there were more than double the earlier number of guards. That was when Otis had suggested a plan: lure a monster out of the Savalirwood to the Sour Nest. And as terrible as that sounded, none of the Nein had a better idea for dealing with quite so many guards without tipping the Iron Shepherds off that they were there to rescue the others.

Thus, Caleb and Beau were following Otis through the Savalirwood to a supposed monster lair of a “bone bear” they were sure they could lure to the Sour Nest. Otis had not explained how the group was to accomplish this, but, well…

“Trust me, trust me, it’ll be awesome,” Otis snickered as they led through a surprisingly quick path through the overgrown wood. Was it that Otis had traveled this way before, or were they that familiar with how the corrupted trees grew in the area? At this point, Caleb’s fourth thoughts had been going on so long that they may as well be the fifth, too.

“Listen, uh, Otis,” Beau grumbled as she deftly maneuvered through the roots, though Caleb was having trouble following. “How are we gonna get this thing back there?”

“You said you’re fast!” Otis barked. “So I’m gonna ride on your shoulders shooting at it to piss it off, and you’re gonna run back to lead it. And the wizard’s gonna stay outta sight and slow it, ‘cause it’s gonna be quick.”

Beau made a half-grimace half-scowl of disapproval, but she turned and nodded her head at Caleb to speak in her stead. At least she was trying to be civil—rather, trying to avoid hostility.

“Ah, excuse me—you want Beauregard to lure it and I will follow behind it?” Caleb stumbled, both figuratively and literally as his foot caught on a root while he was distracted. “Ow.”

“Safest place, really, really,” Otis replied excitedly. “Those bears get fixed on whatever they’re chasin’, and anythin’ else nearby is gonna get outta the way. It’ll clear all the dense brush, too, so even if you fall behind, it’ll be fuckin’ easy to get back. All we gotta do is make sure I piss it off the most and Beau doesn’t drop me, and we’re good!”

Caleb felt a bit of awe at the courage of this halfling so willing to risk their own life to anger a bear made of bones and to trust a human they met only hours earlier to carry them to safety all in the name of rescuing an old friend that was supposed to be dead… but mostly it was sheer exasperation that they had found someone more foolhardy than Mollymauk. Beauregard looked back at Caleb with her are we really doing this? face. He could only sigh and nod in reply.

They continued another thirty-six minutes of slow, careful hiking with only the noise of the woods. Creaking trees, rustling leaves, distant howls and growls. Otis paused in place once they heard snarling close by, then stifled their laughing completely and quietly continued forward. So, the halfling could be silent after all.

Moonlight broke through the clouds and trees ahead into a small clearing. The trio carefully made their way behind a large tree just at the edge and peeked around the brush.

Judging by the stray pieces of bone and fur scattered about, it indeed seemed like a bear with bones grown around its fur had once made its den in the hollowed out tree at the other end of the small glade. Small piles of clean bones to either side of the entrance bolstered that theory.

But there were five large wolves (dire wolves perhaps?) gathered around a mass of meat, snarling loudly as they ate, a few fighting over whatever particularly appetizing section they felt was theirs. They ripped through the bony flesh easily, massive jaws crunching their meal with vigor as they devoured a bear that must have been taller than the firbolgs left behind at the Sour Nest.

No. Their faces, their tongues, their ears, their legs, their torsos were too long. Far too long. Each body extended several dozen feet, weaving around the others like snakes…

No, they all connected to a single set of rear legs.

It was one wolf beast with five torsos. Five heads. Five mouths.

Caleb forced himself to swallow and take a breath once he realized he had stopped breathing, then very slowly moved his entire body behind the tree. Beau and Otis soon followed.

Gods, they needed to get out of there. Now.

“So, uh… I guess I forgot to check the moon,” Otis chuckled maniacally under their breath. “It, uh, it wanders pretty far south this time in the cycle. Uh, uh, well— heheheheh, this might work, too. Listen, that thing doesn’t move through thick woods too great, so if we stick to the rough terrain, it’ll be way slower.”

“You want to lure that?” Beau hissed in a whisper. “That? What the fuck is that?”

“That’s the Wolf-King,” Otis replied blithely. “It’s got a pretty big territory, so it kinda works its way through the wood dependin’ on the moon. It doesn’t stay long though, it eats and then leaves, so this might work better, ‘cause once it’s done eatin’ whatever it can see, it’ll fuckin’ run.”

“How certain are you?” Caleb questioned, sounding far more calm than he felt. While the Wolf-King looked like it would take care of the guards, it would do the Nein no good to lure a monster that would lay claim to the Sour Nest as its own den.

“For sure, for sure,” Otis answered as they nodded. “Been in these woods for years, and the Uttolots have been after that thing for just as long. Jagoda had maps and notes about it that, uh, happened to get lost when the Trebain family wanted to settle a grudge.” Otis grinned wide. “It’ll eat whatever’s in sight, but as soon as it loses track of somethin’, it’ll run off huntin’ for somethin’ else. It’s got five brains, so it never waits for anythin’ to come outta hidin’ ‘cause all it takes is for a buncha them get distracted to drag the rest away. So, worst case: we run into the Nest and get out of reach. Or on top, ‘cause it’s shit at climbin’.”

“You actually think we can outrun that?” Beau pressed skeptically.

Caleb was not sure what prompted the switch in tone and demeanor, but Otis narrowed their eyes at Beau, then grinned wickedly.

“Lucien does this sorta shit all the time,” Otis sassed. “Hells, he’s the one that came up with this plan for fuckin’ with the Jagentoths. You’re faster than him, right? Right?”

Beau glared indignantly as she clenched her jaw, then huffed, “How fast is it?”

“Pretty fast, yeah, yeah, but it gets caught on stuff easy, so if it gets close, you just gotta run through some tight spaces and it’ll hafta slow down,” Otis chuckled deviously.

As obvious as that manipulation was, Caleb could not help but think that it was for the best. This was probably the stupidest idea they could have gone for, but with his adrenaline already pumping and knowing what the Shepherds were up to back at the Nest—no, they could not wait, and they could not return empty-handed. If Beauregard was confident in her ability to traverse the forest, he would trust that. It was a calculated risk. One they could manage.

He just wasn’t sure how Otis had known that would persuade Beauregard.

“I can still slow it,” Caleb between long, steady breaths. “Just be careful, Beauregard.”

Beau met Caleb’s eyes, and while they seemed to be equally reticent, they both nodded. If anyone could get away from that monstrosity, it was her. And if she had to, she could just shove Otis off and flee. Beau might not be as ruthless as Fjord or himself, but Caleb was confident she would do what was necessary to get out of this.

Or perhaps that was Bren shining through in a dark moment and expecting Beau to become just as heartless.

No matter. They were in dire straights, and softness was not going to rescue the others. Caleb could feel guilty about it later. For now, they needed to lure a monster.

“Shit at climbing, you said?” Beau asked as she looked up at the tree behind her.

“Yeah, yeah,” Otis confirmed.

“Caleb, c’mon,” Beau said as she readied her hands as a foothold on her knee. Caleb frowned, but clambered up with her help onto the lowest branch, about eight feet up. He only barely managed to lift himself up after readjusting onto her shoulders. There was no doubt he would have a graceless leap down, but it would keep him out of sight when the Wolf-King ran past. By the time Caleb had adjusted for a good vantage point to cast—practically laying on his stomach along the branch—Beau had already lifted Otis onto her shoulders, and Otis had readied their crossbow.

“Ready,” Caleb wheezed unenthusiastically as he pulled molasses from his pocket, the thick tree bark nudging his ribs uncomfortably, even through his coat.

“Ready,” Beau agreed as she shifted to the edge of the tree.

“This is gonna be awesome,” Otis snickered again.

Caleb could not see the glade from this angle, but once Beau stepped out from cover, Otis aimed and fired their crossbow, then rapidly shot three sickly green beams of energy into the open space. (Was that like Fjord’s eldritch blast?) Overlapping howls and snarls rang out before barking and loud scrambling joined the cacophony.

“RUN!” Otis screeched as Beau dashed through the brush back toward the Nest. They nearly fell, but Beau had a solid grip on their feet as she fled.

Only a few seconds later, each of the Wolf-King’s torsos lunged through the same space after the two, practically tearing all the brush asunder as it passed. One torso caught onto a smaller trunk and whined as the others dragged it back across the rough bark and it struggled to catch up.

Caleb quietly muttered his Slow spell as he smeared the molasses across his cheek, and the entire monster suddenly began to move at half speed. While he did not hear anymore crossbow shots over the ongoing din from the Wolf-King, he spotted more green energy blasts smack the monster across two faces, a third flying past harmlessly, and the beast seemed to lurch forward unwillingly into several trees. It raged as it recovered and continued after them.

Even with the spell, the chase rushed into the woods within seconds, leaving Caleb alone and heaving in fear as the forest went quiet.

“Scheiße,” Caleb cursed as he clumsily dropped to the ground, stumbling and scraping his knees in the fall, and then started jogging after the chaos. At this point, he was probably on his sixth or seventh thoughts, but at least it would keep the panic at bay. “Iiiiii’ll be right behind you— oh gods, this was a stupid idea.”

Although he was not a religious man, Caleb could not help but feel at the pocket with his symbol of the Arch Heart and mutter a quick plea that the gods would at least protect his friends.

[carpe-aurore]

Could you share any stories about your chickens?

Ooooo, I've got several. Let me tell you two of them tho. My first flock of chickens was one we didn't even plan to get. We got them accidentally. Now you're wondering, how tf do you "accidentally" acquire chickens? Well, our first 3(the only ones we actually meant to get) we got as baby chicks. After they grew up, we got a call from our grandmother that she was getting rid of her chickens due to some city permit thing. She was gonna make soup, if you catch my drift. But we didn't want them dead, next thing you know, grandma drops off a box at our house that seems to be clucking. Now there's 4 more. Our first 3 eventually pass away, since they were a breed that doesn't live long. Now my mother is standing in the backyard, wishing she had a hen that actually laid eggs more often. She hears some loud noises coming from the tree above her and suddenly a red hen falls on the ground on front of her, looks up at her and immediately starts clucking for food. We kept her, since we couldn't ever figure out where she came from. Some weeks later, my baby brother comes home late at night from having dinner with a family friend and he's got something clucking in his arms. It's a little spotted hen with an injured wing, and our family friend had found her in his front yard being attacked by a bobcat. He sent her home with us since we were the only people he knew would take in a chicken. Now we're in possession of a bunch of chickens we never meant to have in the first place.

Second one is more recent. Our first flock was eventually decimated by racoons and hawks, only one survived. We were in the process of finding her new flock mates, but she was gonna be alone for a while. People think of chickens as stupid, but they're pretty perceptive animals. She knew her sisters were gone, and she was becoming depressed about it. We decided to bring her inside one day just to give her some company. Baby brother puts her on the table and I walked in the room, decided to get closer to her to say hi. However as soon as she sees me, she stands up real tall and gets into jumping position. I freaked out for half a second, cause that usually means a chicken is about to kick your ass. She proceeded to jump onto my shoulder however, and settled down on me while making noises that I swear to God sounded like crying. I had to lay down on the couch and hold her up to support her weight, and she settled on my chest and stretched her neck around mine, all while making these sad little noises. I stayed with her, hugging her for about half an hour straight because she refused to let go. Digging her claws around my shirt and crying out when someone tried to move her away. She seemed a little happier afterwards, amazingly. Like all she really needed was a hug.

Anyways, she's doing better now. And we've got a new flock so she's not lonely anymore :D

[who-is-shades]

raz dnd 10

raz gave teya fuckin 12 points you bitch.

sunnie can smell it and wonders why it smells rotten in here.

senna finished meditating hours ago and went around presti'ing the house. teya got rid of 4 points with her potions which isnt much. 'i think something died in the house.' sunnie you oblivious dumbass.

senna stomps over and tells him go help with breakfast and she will help teya. hes so scared of her hes like 11 ft tall lol. wheatley whispers to zen if they should tell him lol. zen says he can figure it out himself. wheatley says hes gonna help heal teya.

senna knocks and walks in with wheatley. senna and wheatley go about healing her. together shes at 0 points, but did use half her potions. senna uses presti to clean. wheatley pats teya on the head.

parsley finally wakes up fully. he glares at sunnie for some reason lol. sunnie is confused lol. parsley grumbles and sips some coffee and doesnt say anything.

wheatley comes out and looks at sunnie, then at parsley. zen is setting up plates! senna takes some plates and thanks him for helping. teya says thats why hes their favorite and he goes 'i am?!' wheatley helps parsley stare lol.

senna also helps stare lol. 'teya your friends are being weird!' 'could be worse!' parsley says they could try to kill him cause thats worse. wheatley offers to do that. sunnie starts shifting toward his bedroom. he slaps his head on the doorframe and wheatley and parsley start laughing and calling him a pussy. wheatley also calls him that wtf.

zen scolds them and parsley says this is teyas house so its fine. senna warns him his son might learn from him. teya uses message on sunnie that they wont hurt him unless she says so, so get tf out here. senna jokingly offers to melt the door. SP is now screaming pussy oh no.

SUNNIE RAN OUT THE WINDOW! senna goes after him! we need the dr appointment info! SP asks parsley what a pussy is oh no. he says its another word for coward. wheatley chases SP around cause he sees a star shaped leaf.

senna keeps hearing rustling leaves and its pissing her off. she pokes a weird branch with her rapier. sunnie falls to the ground, invisible. senna helps him up and reassures him were not gonna hurt him. she says teya needs as much support as possible, and that includes him.

he says the appointment is late noon when it starts getting dark. he doesnt like being seen hmm. we have some time. in the distance wheatley is yelling at SP to slow down. senna is sad he thinks shes scary and goes back to breakfast.

theres a faint aura from her bag! the secret orb from earlier in the campaign! its glowing! senna tells sunnie to hurry ahead in case he could get hurt! she picks up the orb and she feels a fiery heat through her entire body! it stops suddenly. MORE SECRET DMS! and also more secret stuff dont worry shhh

wheatley catches SP! sunnie says hes hiding and heads back home. wheatley follows him cause hes lost. sunnie talks about having never met robots before. wheatley talks about that he a support unit war forged. sunnie is confused how wheatley made a child. wheatley says hes the first to do that. wheatley lets sunnie name what new type SP is. S-Type oh no their friends. Wheatley says its impressive he can write stories. sunnie tries to sell him the fuckin book and wheatley says he cant read common well so he reads to him. regrets, eh wheatley?

they get back home and SP starts going off about space. wheatley stops him cause they gotta get ready for the appointment. wheatley speed walks inside lol. sunnie asks android where everyone went. senna shows up as well, sees everyone is gone, and goes to town.

zen and parsley and teya and are in town! bookshop! smearc! hes just working at the counter. parsley tried to wander off and teya grabbed him to fast lol. she introduces parsley and zen to smearc. he says its been a while since hes seen a warforged. he wonders if something big is gonna happen soon. he says he saw lots in 1 place before he moved here. smerc shakes all of zens hands lol. parsley shakes too.

smerc mentions hes known teya since she was little. mentions how sunnie hits his head on the doorframe a lot. parsley asks what teya was like as a kid. smerc says she loved to read and he gave her books on necromancy when she got older. he says teya once tried to cast a spell until she passed out from exhaustion.

smerc asks about zen and parsley! parsley avoids the question lol. zen says he cannot tell as it is a secret. parsley says zen is in a cult. zen says its a normal religion. (k realizes she cant roast him in sylvain lol) parsley asks for a dictionary lol. teya gets it for him. zen disagrees and says theres many followers and his god is very real.

teya asks zen to put her in contact with god. zen says thats not wise cause smerc is here. teya says you can totally trust her and she has an actual question for robot god. zen says her god is trusting the CHAMPIONS to save the world. Not party tricks. Smerc asks if teya got involved with a cult lol. teya says maybe a little. and that robot god could use more followers. zen whispers that RG doesnt like organic followers. parsley asks wtf that means. zen says it could change he just doesnt want any right now.

zen says he will ask, but he may not answer. aha hes here! teya replies in giant secretively. smerc isnt surprised that a warforged can do that. god responds in giant and leaves. teya hides the question from smerc lol. something about a game <.< hmmmmm smerc doesnt believe anything xD

parsley points out sunnies book on the shelf. teya mumbles in sylvain that if parsley buys the book she will kill him. parsley snorts and says he would never spend money on it, theres copies at her house. parsley says he hates sunnie and teya agrees.

they say bye and leave. parsley winks over his shoulder and smerc just laughs. teya asks if parsley needs to do anything. they head back home. android begs teya to make them stop talking. sunnie wont shut up. wheatley and SP are so dead inside. unable to stop.

parsley stares at sunnie and tells him to stfu! hes surprised and asks him to knock next time! parsley says no one cares. sunnie says hes very successful. wheatley immediately begs parsley if they learned anything, so he can avoid sunnie. parsley says they went to a bookshop. android grumbles he wouldve killed him if he wasnt related to teya. teya says it doesnt matter. 'you giving me the go ahead?' wheatley says 'no! hes my....'friend'.'

teya and parsley are fucking mortified that wheatley and sunnie are...friends. oh no. 'i mean i wanna be friends with android.' sunnie tries to fuckin sell the book to them goddamn. 'this is why tori left. shes alive btw.'

sunnie loses his energy. wheatley sighs and asks how much the book is. teya snaps not to charge him so he offers it for free. wheatley says he will pay. parsley threatens if he pays for that book. sunnie fuckin raises the price. wheatley refuses the raised price and offers the base price. sunnie fuckin signs it. wheatley asks zen if god can teach him how to read better. god agrees and zen takes his hand. god fuckin downloads common into his head lol. an immense brief connection to thousands of warforged. he sends a brief connection of platonic love to them before hes disconnected.

wheatley has to sit down for a sec. sunnie asks if hes ok. wheatley is so happy and worried theres so many of his people. teya is dumbfounded that wheatley learned common just to read the book. wheatley hugs sunnie dear god.

senna is wondering around town since she didnt meet up damn. she finds a small hut that wasnt there before on the edge of town. she goes toward it and its a little decayed but still nice. scarecrows around it but no crops? movement in the home with lights on.

she examines the scarecrows, but not much straw. she checks why there might be no crops. the plants nearby are pretty dead. she checks for anything magical. strong necrotic energy in the air. she turns to leave and the fuckin scarecrows are looking at her. she has a hand on her weapon and loudly says she will be here with her friend later for her friends appointments, and she isnt an enemy.

senna makes it back finally. shes like 'oh when did you get back? and is wheatley ok?' zen says hes having a moment. 'i guess i missed something important.' senna says she found teyas doc and its spooky. wheatley is clinging to parsley lol. teya says that sounds about right.

senna asks what she missed. teya says he learned how to read. 'he couldnt read before?' 'he wanted to read sunnies book.' sunnie tries to sell senna the book oh no. senna says his sales pitch needs some work and they should focus on teyas appointment. senna says shes gonna sit in the woods so yell when its time. parsley also gets released cause he wants to go into the woods.

zen says wheatley mustve felt the connection. wheatley was just overwhelmed after being alone for so long. and maybe embarrassed himself. zen thinks it was cute and android doesnt wanna admit he liked it lol. wheatley apologizes to android for overstepping. he grumbles it doesnt matter. teya comments the fey pact didnt apply to wheatley. android calls teya a bitch for revealing that.

sunnie says hes going to support teya as much as he can. teya is like 'uh where did that come from?' sunnie says shes his sister so of course he wants to support her. gonna confront the doc. wheatley gonna use his sending stone for lil bro. teya realizes shes having a hard time breathing (2 points). lil bro responds lol its cute.

as senna is meditating something happens its SECRET goddamn. she shakes her head hard and gets up. the others found parsley. they eventually find senna pacing. teya tries to ask if shes ok but shes very lost in thought. senna notices her and apologizes for not noticing. says she has a headache.

following teya to the doc! senna side eyes the scarecrows. it waves to teya but stops if anyone else tries to look. sunnie knocks for the doc. doc cirmes. its a tall man in a nice hat and plaque doctors mask. he wasnt expecting the rest of us and doesnt like uninvited guests but allows it. zen and android wait outside.

clean doctors home. a skeleton and organs in jars. has teya sits on a cushioned table. he uses a stethescope on teya. typical doc stuff. teya asks if theres any point. they both know shes dead. he pauses. 'so you know. then why come here.' 'because what you did has stopped working.' he will try to fix it if she lets him finish the appointment. senna mumbles to parsley in elvish that hes a fuckin crook.

he yells that the spell is gone! a spell to preserve her but its just gone and demands to what happaned. wheatley perks up and looks outside. theres more scarecrows. teya and senna both know why its gone! the anti magic field from spingledorf. senna says from the fish villiage. he says itll take so much more to fix. parsley yells at him to hurry and fix it.

he says he doesnt have the resources! senna asks what he needs. he says her necromatic energy is much higher and will be harder to make a new spell on her. he slams the table and demands to know how she got so strong. senna sees him slam his hands and reaches for her weapon. he steps back and wonders if his theories were correct.

teya calls him out. senna in elvish mumbles shes gonna hit him. parsley says a robot god gave them power. teya says their on a quest from a robot god. wheatley says they gotta get stronger. senna says the god wont wanna talk to him. wheatley straight up says its his god.

doc talks about a war of gods and that the gods are dead and few remain. wheatley calls for zen to help. zen says its a need to know basis. doc says evil gods make it worse for teya. wheatley says hes neutral at best. he says if we know the gods intentions and senna says 'do we know yours?' he says to not interrupt him and she says to fix her friend.

senna asks again for what components he needs. he says its useless cause she knows now. wheatley asks if its enough for her to pay. he says its beyond money and shes fine. teya is heartbroken being called a waste of resources.

parsley grabs him and screams in his face. "you are going to help our friend! and your not gonna call her a waste again!" he says teya is her greatest triumph. freak. he says her body was bad when she was brought in at first.

Senna grabs him and says teya is rotting faster every day. hes like so? she yells that she wants the flesh! he yells to not interrupt him. he talks about sunnie carrying her corpse. he called it a perfect opportunity. he was surprised he could even rez her. he says she couldnt have wanted anything she was dead. teya yells its still her choice and she has to hide her appearance.

he demands she hand back the crystal if she doesnt care about her life. he says it wont hurt. senna looks at her sadly. wheatley says he would miss her. sunnie looks at teya sadly and goes 'teya?'

teya says she has a job to do. 'so thats all thats keeping you alive?' 'better than nothing isnt it?' 'and when the jobs done?' 'figure that out. find another way to destroy this thing.' senna looks so fucking sad. doc says teya is wasting her life by pitying herself. teya says shes choosing 1 day at a time. 'very well.' if she changes her mind she knows where to find him every year.

teya asks him to remove his mask. 'humor me. you lied to me for 6 years.' the knowledge has only brought her pain. senna and parsley team up to grab him and remove the mask. missed. senna says to let teya see her face. teya tells sunnie to support her now. sunnie asks doc to let her. sunnie BOLTS AT THE DOC! doc snaps his fingers and sunnie disappears! he claims sunnie is safe.

teyas like fuck this im gonna get his ass and uses firebolt. zen says the scarecrows are moving and surrounding the house. senna avoided being cursed lol. he pulls out a bunch of gems and crushes them and summons bunch of weapons. ROLL INITIATIVE!

he summons a putrid undead spirit and an aberation. aberation wisdom save throws! wheatley and parsley feel madness against their minds and take psychic damage just being near it. it attacks senna! hits. bitch. undead attacks! being near it is a con sav. teya gets poisoned. it attacks teya! hits. con save for teya and she fails and gets paralyzed. fuck.

wheatley casts aura of vitality. cool. SP uses repair action on wheatley.

parsley enters rage and has wild magic. we get a plus 1 to ac thanks parsley. he then throws the handaxe at the doc. hits. attacks putrid. missed.

senna uses ray of frost and he fuckin eats it? his staff is cold now. senna casts spirit guardians and attacks putrid! hits!

teya turned skipped F.

docs turn the fucker. he points at senna and casts finger of death the fucker. somehow i passed but still take half damage. fucker senna is dying. THEN shroud damage senna is dying. THEN HE CASTS BLIGHT ON SENNA. half damage fucker. im at 10 and started at 81. wtf who is this fucker. he tells us to gtfo. wheatley says to let sunnie go and we will leave. he agrees and brings sunnie back. guys senna had 20 ac and fucking got her shit kicked in.

wheatley drags sunnie out. senna doesnt care how badly hurt she is she scoops up teya and carries her out. parsley is pissed but walks out.

the scarecrows are destroyed from the robots but there was also more but they stopped. teyas paralizes wears off. parsley tosses his bag to teya and says theres healing potions. teya has a hard time breathing and when she coughs theres a dust cloud. wheatley casts aura of healing on teya.

senna casts mass heal wounds on everyone. teya force feeds senna potions from parsley. wheatley heals senna. senna tells them to focus on healing themselves. android asks wtf happaned. senna says its her fault. senna says he chose to let them live. senna gives android permission to yell at her and parsley keeps trying to tell her to shut up and she is ignoring him. wheatley says he was fucking terrified and hugs teya.

senna says to finish this convo somewhere else. the scarecrows are staring. theres loud thunder and the house is gone. teya keeps coughing up smoke. wheatley doesnt get infected says raz. wtf.

'that was my last shot' 'shot at what he was a dick?!' senna reminds them of spingledorf. wheatley wonders how tf were gonna beat zorbolt if we couldnt beat this guy. senna says itll be ok and theyll get stronger. senna notices a pair of glowing red eyes and then it disappears. she doesnt have the spoons for this right now.

sunnie walks over and hugs teya and apologizes. teya nods in understanding. teya coughs again. sunnie goes stiff. senna feels for a pulse. hes still alive. senna calls for zen. wheatley is freaking out. zen shines a light in his eye but his pupil doesnt react. hes catatonic wtf.

senna yells at parsley to stfu. sunnie suddenly blinks and snaps out of it. senna says he was just frozen there. hes not hurt or feels any different. parsley says teya has poison breath. 'she coughed and he froze.' teya tries to not cough again and aims it away.

parsley inhales the fucking smoke willingly. the sky turns red. its the mushroom spore shit all over! wheatley looks broken down. sunnie is a very long version slenderman version. teya is a skeleton. senna is a robed figure.

he punches teya. he screams wtf happaned?! this is reality for him he doesnt know anything else. parsley sees the robot wheatley limping towards him. he backs up and snarls for them to stay away. wheatley flinches back, hurt. wheatley clings to teya and sunnie.

parsley sees the robot holding the skeleton. teya is gonna cough! doesnt work on wheatley. zen approaches, looks like a multi armed demon with charp claws. he absorbs the cloud and says their spores. from a mushroom. parsley thinks their gonna eat him or something and runs off.

zen says mushrooms are growing in her lungs. teya thought exploding wouldve cooked them out. their growing throughout her entire body. oh no. zen says it wont affect her cause shes dead. more spores pop off lol. senna says she cant kiss teya if shes full of spores. teya says to find parsley first. senna tries to tell sunnie to stand back but hes back unconscious. teya keeps getting status effects.

I FORGOT I HAVE RESTORATION DAMMIT PARSLEY-

[alyjojo]

Capricorn Yearly Career & Finance Reading 🪖 2024

Preshuffle: Medical News, health, health, it keeps being pointed out. You need to get something looked at, tests done for something, what you hear is going to shock you and keep you from doing something you’d planned. They may admit you right away, in someone’s case. You don’t see it but you *know* something is off, you’re ignoring it. If not, disregard. Outside of health, canceled plans due to something unexpected that happens. Something you’re planning now?

Meditation: Giant room decorated like a playroom or daycare, rainbows 🌈 on the walls , with a huge circle train track on the ground, and a tiny train that went maybe 2mph, I mean this thing was *slow*. First you were yelling out WHOOOO!!, time passed and you fell asleep, time passed and there was one bump like a break in track, that was kind of exciting but not really, time passed, you were on the opposite side of the track from where food was on a table where you could snatch it. You just waited. Paiiinnfully slow my gosh. Finally I was like “what in tf areee you doing?” You said “waiting for the others”. Huh? Who would want to ride this thing? It’s not fast, or even fun. You were genuinely shocked, and when I turned it off to make it faster, you were mad at me! 😡

Main Energy: 3 Wands

Interesting energy coming out initially. Surprisingly enough, your year is not about money (you??), but instead it’s about pulling yourself out of the doldrums and back towards the things that make you feel PASSION 🔥 Especially in the fall, when Pluto pops back into your sign for a couple of months, it looks really positive. For the rest of the year it’s like you’re on this slow lil choo choo, expecting something. Expecting the fun, passion, advancement, whatever - to come to you. As if you have no role in making it happen. There will be a lot of waiting until you figure it out. Passion, Innovation, and Flash are all about creativity, trying new things, *seeking* the passion and fun in a conscious way, on purpose. It’s there, you’re just not looking at it. It’s like Spirit is going to give you a high you don’t want to come down from (not literally), so that you remember how it feels. Or just know. Maybe it’s the first time. Let loose 🥳

January: The Hierophant & Wheel of Fortune

Oracles: Idealism

Zodiac Signs: Aquarius

You could be making some New Year’s resolutions, if so you’re very serious about them and intend to commit wholeheartedly to whatever this is, could be relating to your finances & career goals. Some of you are divorced, or have been through a breakup, if so I think it’s already done & over with, and you would be committing to enjoy your singlehood until you find *the right one*. Giving yourself some grace, even telling yourself it’s okay to date again. The Hierophant can talk about so many things, separating yourself from a parent, religion, or long-term traditional way of behaving/ believing, studying under a mentor of some kind or going back to school to obtain a higher degree, or simply letting go of “the old way” in favor of YOUR way. Whatever that is. You could want to quit your job even, after you find something better. It’s all about improvements for you, and Idealism shows you with a visionary mindset, looking at things as how they could be, futuristic thinking. You’re hopeful, motivated, and career driven at the start of the year, the future looks bright 💡Some of you have jobs that will require you to travel more, you may counter offer that sentiment with a “sure, for more money”.

February: 4 Pentacles & Ace of Cups

Oracles: Isolation & Convention

Zodiac Signs: Capricorn Venus, Virgo Saturn

Your standards are so high that no one could ever realistically meet them. Do you even meet them? Do you know anyone that does - platonically? You gotta start somewhere, and even those people or situations that would meet your 10 page, bullet-pointed list of expectations, they’re gonna have flaws. It’s going to have things that suck, are difficult and challenging, nothing is rainbows 🌈 all of the time - and if it was you’d still find something wrong with it 🙃 Spirit is calling you a hypocrite here, just last month you were ready to break free from tradition and the same old shit, this month you’re clinging onto it for dear life. If this is regarding love, there may be someone around you that is much younger than you, and you’re closed up like a hermit-crab, you see this person as a baby - The Fool. Or switch it. Though Capricorn is known to attract age differences, in this case it feels drastic or desperate to you, and you are refusing to engage. Could just be someone really immature too. Or are they just fun? 🤷 Could also be a kid. You can’t connect with playing, fun, innocence? Depends on the context. You could be taking yourself way too seriously.

If not love, then this is you either rejecting new experiences, keeping by the book and the same old thing that you know to be good for you, or it’s possible you’re needing to save money in order to take some kind of new adventure, but you’re not there yet. If you’re looking for a job, nothing is good enough - but really, you don’t want to start all over again. It’s easier to play it safe - regarding everything. Some of you are planning new things, you’re still in January’s energy, but that’s not the majority. Most are on the train.

March: 4 Wands & The Chariot

Oracles: Endurance

Zodiac Signs: Cancer, Aries & Scorpio

You’re stuck to something, a habit, some outside thing, transportation possibly, distance, or most likely a limited belief system that you operate by like its the only right way to do things - when it’s not. It’s The Devil - what keeps you stuck, chained, bound to something. A home? Family? With Scorpio and The Devil here, there’s a lot being shown about obsession, drastic actions or emotions, needing to see clarity instead of through an emotional lense. You could have this one idea in your head: I’m moving to Canada. But you’re being blocked every step of the way, can’t find a job there, can’t find a reasonable place to live, you don’t want to live on an ice block in the mountains with no grocery store - that’s reasonably priced though. There’s never a thought of “maybe this isn’t for me” or any acknowledgement of the signs from Spirit who are undoubtedly trying to show you something. A need for travel (if that applies) may be a solution rooted in shadow - you run away from your problems, maybe relationships - and travel is the excuse. If not travel, then just movement, running away/avoidance.

Some of you want to work at home and refuse to do anything else, or that’s the driving factor to keep a job, if a new one doesn’t meet that criteria, then it’s not for you. Honestly, that’s gotta be like 80% of people these days. Some of you are avoiding dealing with darkness in the home, relationships, family. Bad habits, toxic cycles, outdated or harmful beliefs systems, shit is not healthy whatever it is. The Emperor at the bottom shows what you want - to be the boss. Then…take charge. Start small, probably with what’s in front of you. The bottom of the deck shows you getting the clarity you need like a bolt of lightning, and it could be small. Jeez I haven’t cleaned this garage in 10 years, I could sell so much of this that I don’t even need or use. Step 1. The more you wake up to how you keep yourself stuck, the faster you can open up to new experiences, it’s a process. Some of you are literally trapped to a house, maybe one at a distance, something inherited that you’re still paying taxes on, a family, a business, you want to do your own thing but feel beholden to someone/something higher than you. Rules, traditions, laws even. For someone this can be a DUI or some court order to not leave the state/city, home arrest, but being trapped by the law in that case. This could also refer to engagement or taking the next step in a relationship - either being unable to do that or feeling like you’re trapped/switch it. Reasons - someone could be married, live far away, hopefully isn’t underage cuz gtfoh, their job is demanding/important, etc. Or you could feel distance keeps you from these things, maybe you already live on an ice block and long to leave it 🧊

April: 8 Swords & Queen of Wands

Oracles: Defense & Influence

Zodiac Signs: Aries, Scorpio, Taurus Mars, Libra Mercury

If you are married/committed, there may be temptation, possibly a lover, or one existing anyway, looking good and trying to sway your affections. I don’t see you biting the bait if that’s the case, you may just be removing yourself, blocking them, or somehow getting them out of the picture and celebrating your family or partner more. Like a passive aggressive “fk off”. This could be at work. If single, again the message of standards…attractiveness or sexy qualities don’t matter to you anymore. You’re looking for someone to build 10 Pentacles, THE one, a mother figure, maybe someone your family will approve of. Even if there’s someone attractive at work, you’re so focused on career, responsibilities, the long-term, you’re not interested in potentially messing that up. Are you attracted, yes. But also, pass.

Otherwise you could keep your own desires hidden, some may be sexual or passionate, within a marriage/partnership. Doesn’t have to be, if you’re wanting to buy a bunch of leather and get tattoos, buy a sports car, a bigger house, there’s a sense of “status 🤑” with whatever this is, you’re keeping that quiet too. You could feel like it’s impossible, your person would just reject it. Or you’ve been doing this for some time and it’s all coming to light now. Your true ambitions, what lights your fire, what you really want for the future, career goals. Again a house shows up, maybe you don’t like where you are, or again maybe you want to transfer to the main branch of a company, located somewhere else entirely. There could be one particular job you really want, somewhere else. Or you’d like to move the family to a safer city. There’s a practical element to whatever it is, yes it’s attractive but it also makes sense to you. It’s family or a partner that isn’t thrilled, doesn’t want things to change, doesn’t want to move anywhere. Or switch it, this could be a partner’s energy. 8 Swords could indicate there being no choice, someone got promoted so it looks like you’re moving now. Or your family, maybe they’re leaving your home town for this reason. You or someone else feels helpless to do anything but go along with whatever this is - or helpless to actually act because someone says no way. Those focused on work at home jobs probably still haven’t found anything yet, that could be the driving focus for a location change, you can do it there but not so much here.

May: The Sun & 2 Swords

Oracles: Optimism

Zodiac Signs: Sagittarius Moon

The Sun ☀️ is very happy energy, especially with Optimism, you have reason to believe in whatever it is that’s coming towards you. Maybe you found the job of your dreams, and they’re willing to hire/transfer you, The Sun is a card of promotion, success, positive attention, fame on some level. Some of you are just bringing more attention to this conundrum you’re having, like “look, here’s what I want, why is it so difficult to get!” in the hopes your friends/family may have some suggestions or ideas. You could be complaining about your current job and how things stand, on social media maybe, or even directly to your boss or someone with influence. Showcasing your talents - you’ve risen above or have outgrown this position, when might they consider moving you up? Not would - when? Whoever you’re talking to is going to be surprised when they hear what you have to say, or you may be shocked by the response…how about right now? Tomorrow? Or when you leave one for another, the first job is like whaaat 🤯?? Whatever your new thing is, new job, new passion, possibly a new partner/lover, it’s sudden and shocking to others around you. Could be the same person at work you were like “nah” to the first time. Or they’re confessing their feelings to you and you’re paused like…wow, they really like me? Hmm. Ok let’s try it. Something good is happening, you’re not sure if it’s good and you question it, it could be happening really fast and you’re not sure if you trust it, but it makes you feel good.

June: King of Pentacles & Strength

Oracles: Harmony

Zodiac Signs: Heavy Libra

You have some sort of news to drop like a bomb, but you’re holding it close to your chest instead. Not because you’re unsure, or questioning it, but because you’re quietly plotting “an escape” is what I heard. Could be family you’re doing this with, knowing they’re gonna have something to say about it. Could also be work, if they don’t know you’re leaving, your property manager or someone involved with a house (which comes up again), some of you are secretly planning to buy a home somewhere else, or you’re acting in secret so that when the time comes - it’s too late to stop. You can’t change your mind, or be swayed by what others say, it’s already done. A house or lease, money to pay for something, putting in two weeks and working it for the extra money, waiting for a start date or even a new home in a new area - may be the only reason you don’t act immediately, you have to wait something out for responsible/practical reasons. Your family may be very upset, or you know they will be.

July: The Fool & 5 Cups

Oracles: Extremism

Zodiac Signs: Aries, Libra, Aquarius, heavy Scorpio Sun & Mercury

This is the month things come to light, you’re taking action, and there is sadness (or devastation with the extremism card) and disappointment from loved ones, parents, childhood friends, maybe an established relationship/marriage, kids, the whole nine, anyone is involved or possible here. You could be selling the childhood home (again home comes up, every month so far) in order to buy one somewhere else. You may be disappointed in yourself due to someone guilting you, like “if you would have told me, I would have…” something it’s too late to do, and there’s sadness there. The impulsivity or quick decision seems thoughtless or selfish to some, but it wasn’t actually all that quick…you knew it would be like this. Even if it’s a good thing, people are upset. A King of Wands in particular may act quite dramatically over the situation, could be a fire sign, and they may say or do something “extreme” that breaks your heart in response to hearing your news/decisions. King of Wands can be you too, knowing what you want, taking the steps to make it happen, could be centered around work. There is a better job in this city, I’m sorry, I have to go. For someone, it could be your job is closing a branch or something, moving cities entirely (or countries?). If you’re not going with them, this would be your own sadness, and maybe extreme actions in anger/retaliation. Some of you are leaving a family, maybe even kids, and there are some high running emotions there. Your actions may seem extreme to others - but you feel it’s necessary, or switch it. Because Queen of Wands showed up earlier as a temptation, this could be someone they’re with or were, be very careful, “extremism” may be you getting your ass kicked by someone in a rage. Or this is you and your person, and it’s your/their family that’s upset.

August: 10 Cups & 2 Cups

Oracles: Caution & Discrimination

Zodiac Signs: Heavy Libra, Virgo Mercury/Venus

You’re very cautious in how you proceed, but very happy all the same, like your dreams have come true. You may have had to take on an entire family war, switch jobs, buy a new house, move to a different country even, but you’ve got what you wanted and that’s all that matters. Some of you may end up getting pregnant around this time, or you/this person could have kids that you’re bringing into the mix to create this 10 Cups ideal. Both Oracle cards are ones of perfectionism, matching the reality to your inner picture of what you want, and how things should be. You won’t be hearing any words that suggest otherwise from anyone, period, it’s like you’re ready for negative feedback and you’ll shut that shit down immediately. Most likely from family, who are heartbroken. You may get the blessing of your mother, who is on your side and will work on the rest of the family. Or maybe your family are upset but coming around very quickly, especially if you’re leaving town, like they’re sad but they don’t have time to be sad, they need to make it right now before you go. Some family members might tell you to fk off, if so you’re sad but oh well, what can you do? You’re focused on your growth, in career, love, family, you name it. Whoever comes fits with your inner picture and whoever can’t, it’s love ya see ya later ✌️ There may be sadness over selling a home, either it’s not selling for as much as was hoped, or there’s a lot of nostalgia attached. A whole family dynamic could be changing.

September: 8 Wands & Ace of Wands

Oracles: Enterprise & Status

Zodiac Signs: Heavy Sagittarius, Aries Jupiter, Taurus Jupiter

Once you are given the green light 🚦 it’s GO, immediately! No more train for you, 8 Wands is one of the fastest movement cards in tarot, you could simply be waiting on news or approval, then you’re off. Moving towards your passion, what inspires you, excites you, turns you on in some cases - Ace of Wands with Lust at the bottom of the oracles. You will win because Jupiter Aries will make damn sure of it, they don’t lose. Jupiter Taurus cautions against a newfound love of extravagance, materialism, overindulgence or superficial things. Money. Status. Don’t get too caught up in appearances, or what doesn’t really matter…then it’s The Devil (Capricorn).

You have cooperation with this new thing, whether a new love, new coworkers in a new job, maybe some status holding (important) neighbors or work contacts that are willing to give you hand, a good word, they could have all sorts of suggestions you appreciate. There’s a new group around you, with new ideals, and anything from before is a burden on you now. You’re not that person anymore, you’re determined not to be. With these Jupiter signs, and this planet moving into Gemini in…June? Ish. You may have been dreaming for this to happen for the past few years, and you’re finally getting everything you ever wanted. Or it’s available on the horizon, you can SEE it.

October: Page of Wands & 6 Wands rev

Oracles: Eccentricity & Manipulation

Zodiac Signs: Pisces, Scorpio Jupiter, Aquarius Saturn

There could be a friend working against you, upset you’re not around, doesn’t agree with whatever you’re doing. Or family, or even someone at work that tries to undermine your efforts or act out of jealousy/manipulation. They smile to your face and hide their hands, or that’s how someone feels about you. If you made big sweeping changes for a job or relocation, someone may betray you or it’s somehow not all it was cracked up to be - Manipulation being here shows you could have been mislead, 10 Swords on the bottom showing betrayal. Or maybe someone in your circle that wasn’t aware could feel betrayed.

Could be a kid. No one will make you pay for a mistake like your own kid 💯 Could be your person’s as well, maybe they’re not sure about you, question your intentions, see right through you even. For most it’s probably family, someone close to you, they could be inquiring about holidays or something and feeling betrayed by failure to make them a priority. 2 Swords here isn’t “no” it’s “I don’t know” but it’s enough of a no for someone to get pissy with you. It’s like they’re aware you’re putting in so much effort towards happiness, maybe family even, they’re just upset they’re not included in that. Or the tables have turned and a friend is doing the same thing to you. It’s like you’re being punished for going off the beaten path - Saturn Aquarius. A failure to plan ahead for something is being noted, you may not have enough money to cover initial expenses, or you planned for house payments, electric, etc etc but WTF is a sewage bill, you’re stuck with satellite and why is there community tax for some privacy gates? It’s possible someone sells you on an idea with a lot of passion and you’re bamboozled later, especially anyone that goes door to door (I almost learned that the hard way myself 😬).

November: The World & 5 Pentacles

Oracles: Power

Zodiac Signs: Heavy Taurus, Scorpio Moon

Oof this month is tricky. Manipulation already came out, but the vibesss are strong here, and next month as well. Someone is out to teach you a lesson, could be a parent. If they were helping you out financially, that’s ending, or if they’re giving to you and feel you’re not wanting to do anything for them, cut off. At the bottom is you with 9 Cups, a dream come true, could be some extravagant or self pleasing spending and if you’re borrowing money then this person is like “absolutely not”, that’s done. It’s possible wherever you’re working is cutting hours or something for the winter, because you’re struggling with debt or not having enough and it’s some “official” decisions. At the bottom there’s a sentiment of “you got what you asked for” - but like…ominously. Yeesh. The Hermit. This could also be the fake friend/family member pulling shit last month, or throwing a fit, cutting you off this month. Someone feels neglected, left behind, not cared about, forgotten. It’s possible some sort of promotion or bonus is going around, but you miss out on it - not being there long enough or there’s some reason. The Emperor can also show anything law/official, maybe a hefty bill for something indulgent? Or having been indulgent before, you don’t have enough now. Public intoxication? A ticket of some kind. Closing costs. Insurance. Those are what came to mind. If you’re asking your father, they may gift it and say “that’s it, you’re on your own now.” For Moon Scorpio to come out, that could describe a person, or this is definitely going to make you feel a way. Emotional, vengeful, explosive, intense, a silent burning or overdramatics (maybe hidden), manipulation like I said. Water energy is strong at the end of the year, some of you have a watery family that operate passive aggressively but…petty, vengeful, tit for tat.

December: Queen of Cups & King of Cups rev

Oracles: Practicality

Zodiac Signs: Heavy water 💦 Pisces, Capricorn Sun/Moon

This is either a partner or a mother it feels like, she is using everything at her disposal to get to you on an emotional level. Guilt trips, tears, manipulation, sorrow filled statements to make you feel like you should be reassuring her, telling her you love her, coming around to care for her. Laying it on thick - with King of Cups rev this is intentional, this person is a master manipulator. But not to hurt, if that makes sense. Moon Capricorn is cold AF and that’s what’s coming out, this placement can tend to be kinda distant with their mothers and have issues with feminine energy (others’ or their own), seeing it as weakness. That may be how this person feels you see them, or they’re just not getting the love, care, and attention they were from you and it’s hurting them. Is it your job to make this person feel whole, no, but I think you do care. At the bottom, they just want you to cooperate with them, the family, the group, whoever. They have intentions that are unseen, and on the surface it’s all love. Is that love genuine, it seems like it. They just know how to sway with kindness, fussing over you like a little baby, and easy tears 😭 If there’s conflict between you & Dad, Mom is trying to work her magic, with good intentions…mostly. Could be your person too, in their case manipulating you away from the mother - colder - Moon Cap, towards them and their own family. You belong HERE now. Controlling with softness and googoo eyes 🥹 Could be someone at work asking for favors, which you do because you’re being nice.

No matter who this is, you’re starting to question your decisions, second guessing yourself. Did you even make these decisions in the first place, or did this other person, and what was the motive…is it love? Work? Success? All of it. Maybe you’re questioning both parents now because they just don’t get it. This could be your person trying to work with you, literally, like can you give them a job at your company? The feelings are as genuine as they are filled with motives in any case, I’m not sure how much you’re paying attention to what lies beneath, Capricorn tends not to (unless you’re watery too).

If these Cups people are a pair, one is manipulative and the other is loving & emotional. Could be parents, other family, could be you and your person too. Could also be your person’s ex being upset due to custody/visitation, someone is unreliable. It’s drama, but again at the bottom, you may feel this is all necessary to obtain your happiness, and you wish everyone would just be happy, or happy for you. Fair enough.

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #597

Top Ten Transformers from the Comics

This weekend is the glorious festival of all things robotic and disguised, TF Nation. The biggest Transformers convention in the UK, it’s a gloriously nerdy deep submersion into my favourite franchise, and so bedecked in shape-changing mechanoids is it that I become one of the least-informed people there.

Seriously, any day of the week, I am the font of all Cybrertronian knowledge. For one weekend a year in Birmingham, I am but a neophyte. It’s actually quite refreshing.

Anyway, I’m not going this year unfortunately, but it’s still gonna be nice looking at all the pictures on the internet. And it’s always a great time of year to think about Transformers regardless, as well as write amusing lists on my most favouritest of topics. And that’s what I’m doing right now! Well, in a bit. After this preamble.

So Transformers is based on a toyline, yeah? They’re toys. Everything else is just something Hasbro had done in order to advertise those toys. Comics, cartoons, movies, videogames, bedsheets, trainers with holograms of Ultra Magnus on the tongue; it’s all one big toy advert. But like so many things in capitalism, we got lucky because some of the people making this stuff really cared and took an interest and made us fall in love with it all, so much so that the lines between product and art become incredibly blurry (and, of course, even things that start out as art and then become product get all blurry round the edges – capitalism, folks!).

So in the nearly-forty years Transformers has been a thing, most of the characters that are recognisable and famous and whatever originated as toys. Yeah, okay, so their actual characters and even their names might have been coined by a comic book writer – probably Denny O’Neil or Bob Budiansky, in fact – but they were still toys first. And Hasbro, as the licence overseer, wanted to promote those toys. As such, it’s actually quite rare that a writer got to create a character in the comic and then be able to extensively reuse that character; they’d always be asked to tell a story about the new Headmasters or Powermasters or whatever instead.

However, perhaps because of their relative rarity, so many “comics-first” characters have resonate strongly with the fanbase. You could make a compelling argument that it’s because the writers had a freer reign to do whatever they wanted to characters who didn’t have a toy kicking about – kill them twice, say – and artists had more flexibility to give them groovy designs without worrying about how it’d have to translate into a real piece of plastic. Even up to the most recent comics, new characters were being created; and in the various books written by James Roberts, some of these characters became absolutely integral to the plot. And, nowadays, Hasbro has caught wise to the popularity of comic-book Transformers, to the point where they’re popping up across the wider TF universe and now have toys of their own.

And so we come to my list, which is nothing more or less than me celebrating my favourite Transformers characters who debuted in a comic book. What more is there to say? Roll out.

Oh, and I’ve included their first appearance and the writer/artist who created/designed them (I hope I’ve got it right, vis-à-vis the artists; sometimes the artist on a given book isn’t the one who designed a character. On the off-chance anyone reads this and spots an error, please correct me!).

Now you can roll out.

Nautica (James Roberts/Alex Milne, Robots in Disguise, 2014): she’s a nerdy mechanic who’s into drinking and dancing. What’s not to like? In a series full of larger-than-life characters (meteor-surfing Rodimus, stratospherically uptight Magnus, Megatron but an Autobot), Nautica is a more grounded figure. She’s full of her own neuroses and angst, but her past is more relatable than most Transformers’. She makes friends easily even if she rarely bares her soul – until that bit where she literally bares her soul. She’s funny, she’s acerbic, she’s kind, she’s nuanced, she likes a drink… I may have said that bit already.

Rung (James Roberts/Alex Milne, The Transformers, 2011): technically, hisfirst appearance was in a prose story in Last Stand of the Wreckers in 2010, although his origins go much farther back – to Roberts’ fan fiction before he was a professional TF writer. A therapist who brings some genuine discussion of mental health to this book about toys punching each other, he’s already an interesting figure even before you factor in the mistakes he’s made, his role in the ongoing war, and his fantastic design (all skinny limbs and large metal eyebrows). Plus, and I’m not going to spoil anything here, he has a phenomenally important role in the whole saga. He’s ace.

Xaaron (Simon Furman/John Stokes, The Transformers Annual, 1985): going right back now, to a character who debuted in a short story in one of the old TF annuals. “Emirate” Xaaron was a senior politician who, after the war, ended up in a leadership role amongst the Autobot rebels. His depiction – a manipulative, somewhat stern tactician with a nice line in dry humour – stood in contrast to other leaders, and whilst his design seemed to owe a bit of a debt to Megatron’s early look, he did have one iconic trait in the weird “mouth bars” on his face. He got to be part of some of the best UK-centric stories before being ported to the US comic, where he ended up possessed by Primus and blown up by Unicron. But he remains beloved, at least by those of us who grew up reading the UK comics.

Impactor (Simon Furman/Jeff Anderson, The Transformers (UK), 1986): Xaaron’s stablemate and partner-in-crime, Impactor is a big grumpy soldier who has no time officers and politicians. He calls Xaaron a “wily old buzzard”, which is kinda silly but also kinda cool. This gruff demeanour carried over into other continuities, where he was the first and most successful “old school” comic-only character to get a revival; a lot meaner and more results-oriented, he maintained his position as former leader of the commando squad the Wreckers, but now was prepared to step outside the law (and was also one of Megatron’s friends Back in the Day). What I love most about him, though, is he had not one but two noble deaths. I’ve said this before, but I didn’t cry when Optimus died in the movie; I did cry when Impactor died twice so that others may live.

Scrounge (Bob Budiansky/Don Perlin, The Transformers, 1986): after the big tough warrior that is Impactor, we have tragic, pathetic little Scrounge. Another story that made me really upset as a nipper (I was, like, four when he appeared), Scrounge is a funky-looking spy with a weird head and a very special arm that lets him snake out cameras and microphones from his fingertips. Unfortunately, he’s captured, tortured, and eventually meets a terrible end in the Smelting Pool, being melted down to scrap. It’s genuinely really horrible, and he’s such a cute little kid-friendly yellow ‘bot, too.

Rack’n’Ruin (Simon Furman/Ron Smith, The Transformers (UK), 1986): one of those characters whose appearance, with no explanation, raised so many unanswered questions that you couldn’t help but become transfixed. Technically two Autobots who’ve been conjoined for some reason, their conical heads next to each other on identical twin torsos, their arms vicious-looking blunt instruments. They were just so weird, and the fact that everyone kind of treated them as any other Transformer added so much to the lore of Cybertron. Their iconic design and overall uniqueness has long been cherished, even as other writers down the line have given them deeper backstories and explanations.

Tarn (James Roberts/Alex Milne, More Than Meets the Eye, 2012): Tarn – or, rather, Glitch; or, more specifically, Damus – is a fantastic baddie. Huge and hulking with some great physical touches – a double-barrelled fusion cannon, massive tank treads for shoulders, a Decepticon badge for a face – he leads the terrifying Decepticon Justice Division, where he is devoted to the Cult of Megatron and is able to literally talk his opponents to death. His backstory, revealed in layers and multiple flashbacks, is a fascinating insight into the development of the war and the Decepticon army, and highlights failures of both Megatron and Optimus. The cultivation of his storyline is exquisite, with just the right amounts of tragedy and pay-off. Plus he eventually made it to toy-form, and his toy is just terrific.

Straxus (Bob Budiansky/Don Perlin, The Transformers, 1986): remember cuddly little Scrounge? Well the big bastard who rips off his arm and dunks him in the furnace, Terminator 2-style, is Straxus. A vicious warlord who climbed to power after Megatron left the planet, he’s a tyrant who holds all of Cybertron in a vice-like grip, until he’s, er, electrocuted on a bridge. After which point he becomes a head in a jar who tries to possess Megatron. But he’s another one with a tremendous design, all hard edges and broad shoulders, and a fantastic featureless face, like an evil Wheeljack. He even turns into a big flying cannon-thing, pretty reminiscent of Galvatron!

Aileron (John Barber/Andrew Griffith, The Transformers, 2015): one of a number of great female characters introduced in the later years of the first IDW comic series, Aileron is interesting partly because of her quirky alt-mode (basically a flying car) and how it translates to her “kibble” in robot mode, but also because of her personality. Initially falling in with Optimus and totally buying his rhetoric, she becomes more questioning and free-thinking as the series progresses; committed to the ideals of the Autobot cause, but less willing to make the kinds of sacrifices Prime deems necessary. She ends up in a relationship with Arcee, which is nice for her.

Macabre (Simon Furman/Will Simpson, The Transformers, 1986): just pipping out the likes of Anode and Lug, Nickel, and Ambulon from MTMTE, we instead go back to the story Target: 2006, and this amazingly designed Decepticon. What the heck is he? Some kind of spiky hovercraft? An S&M glider? Anyway, he’s a big selfish meanie with a cool name and an ever cooler design, who manages to get off one shot in an attempt to assassinate Xaaron – only for good ol’ sacrificial Impactor to hurl himself in the gun’s sights instead. So he’s sort-of semi-pathetic, a vainglorious prig who dies pretty quickly, but he did kill Impactor (the first time), so there’s that. Was brought back in Last Stand of the Wreckers only to die again in short order.

I was tempted to include "Autobot Megatron" as a comics character (who, like others, has now jumped to animation) but I feel like that's a bit of a stretch.