#gonna be taking tests all day
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About to take my Final Exam for Paramedic School, wish me luck
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once again i was fueled with coffee (did not sleep the whole night) but this time i doodled college au to cope bc ofc i did (also did not feel like sleeping wooo)
#self insert#cross!sans#epic!sans#mblue art#cm#m rambles#(that tag is needed bc hoo boy u can tell i did not get sleep and is fueled by caffeine)#(do not be like me!!!!!!!!! do not deprive urself of sleep 💀💀💀)#(get a good 6-7hrs a day if u can. if 4-5hr works better for u then im not forcing u to sleep more 😤😤😤 as long as u rest well 😁👍)#(AND HYDRATE... if ur reading this try to take a sip rn 🥤)#campus au#(college au scenarios will be tagged that heehoo)#not colored just lines bby 😎😎😎#idiots to lovers type shit where they both confide in epic n he's just chillin#waiting for the time when these dummies will finally confess to eachother themselves#(look i think it's rlly funny seeing cross be all cool calm collected in public but when he talks to epic abt his crush)#(he goes insane with a million different flustered/blushing emojis)#( 'they told me good luck on my test and gave me the nicest smile ever how was i gonna live after that' goofy ass. idiot /aff)#( 'DUDE THEY GAVE ME A MOTIVATIONAL NOTE. IN /PINK/ PAPER. ON CHOCOLATE. DOES THIS...... 😳' guys i love silly dorky cross to bits so much)#(man fucking explodes w his simping n epic just goes LMAO but he's v supportive for his bruh 💪😤)#(on the other hand my sona thinks he's sooo cool and awesome and smart and honestly fucking charming HHELLO THE TIMES WHEN HE LAUGHS AND)#(AND SMILES HELLOOO MR HANDSOME I MEAN WHATT)#( 'stars if he likes me back i wouldn't know what to do with myself. fucking EXPLODE? YIPPEE CONFETTI??' lots of flushge )#(going ueueue at big bro epic bc they got a super massive crush on his bestie but)#(but the head is entertaining 'what-if's BUT i think kuya epic knows how to steer the thoughts away from those and smack em w teasing 😎✨)#(ultimately distracting and successfully reassuring them 😎😎😎)#(tsundere mblue no way not in here im down bad astronomically full on simping my guys)#(he might be a dumbass sometimes but he's my dumbass) (ok i'll shut up now fr)#anywayz campus au is the my highschool au but we're all adults and more tired yippeee
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day 93
ugh. i bet she doesnt have to take ap exams. i bet she doesnt even go to school. loser.
#I HVAE AN EXAM ON THURSDAY AND I NEED TO TAKE A MOCK TODAY 😰😰 PLUS A QUIZ AND TEST THIS WEEK#dailys this next two weeks are gonna be random doodles sorry :[#why do all the cool fictional characters never have to go to school. i bet kirby doesnt take tests (jealous)#adeleine#adeleine kirby#day 93
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Panthers TRY to 'Draw the Shield' 🎨🖌
#aaron ekblad#evan rodrigues#aleksander barkov#uvis balinskis#aj greer#jesper boqvist#sam reinhart#adam boqvist#niko mikkola#florida panthers#2425#media day is for torturing boys with arts and crafts time#on this episode of apparently all our dmen are secret artists? (ignore boqy it was a valiant attempt)#the amount of “this looks like a rat” miss pantr suffered#please capture her elegance properly!!#how do you fail when you guys all had references and looked down at your jerseys#when the test is open book and you still fail#sasha. good at everything except cooking. and drawing. woe.#reino also good at everything. sans drawing.#they had to be knocked down a peg for everyones sakes#roddy tried to take this so seriously he was gonna cry if he fucked up his drawing more#me when i draw fr#i love the (squints) florida horses#reino“i feel like they took their time on this” vs mikksy (scribbles furiously) “30 seconds later”#you cant make this shit up#sorry why are our dmen so good at drawing 😭😭😭
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Fuck all of y'all in Florida how dare you misrepresent my liberal king that man loves women (not in that way) and he would not STAND for this smh
#yk damn well he'd make the vague but absolutely not vague threats and then actually follow through on them#HE WOULD NOT MISS!!!!!!!#anyways this week has sucked so bad dear god#the cold I've had for a month has apparently been pneumonia#And I coughed so hard I TORE A FUCKING MUSCLE in my ribs and I could barely move for days and had to sleep in a recliner#also finally got diagnosed with adhd but found out all my old teachers told my mom they think I have it and I should get tested but NOOOOOOO#SHE DIDN'T WANT TO DEAL WITH IT#there literally couldn't have been a clearer sign than when I almost failed fourth grade because I couldn't turn in my homework on time#The election obviously my immediate family are full Kamala but my grandparents are VERY Trump#Oh and my brothers therapist told us he apparently has the most severe case of executive dysfunction he's seen in his 30 years of working#He literally told us to just take him out of college and let him live at home forever because he won't be able to finish school#because of it so THAT'S gonna be fun since my dad said if he ever tries to come live back here he'll throw him out on the streets#THIS IS JUST IN A WEEK#WHO IS MY OPP I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID BUT I DON'T DESERVE THIS FANFIC WRITER ASS LORE#LEAVE ME ALONE 😭#red vs blue#rvb#rooster teeth#rvb florida#election 2024
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I have had it with these motherfucking spam bots on this motherfucking site.
#personal#tumblr stuff#vent post#spam bots#i've been getting like 1000 spam bot followers a day for the last few days and blocking them all is getting--dare i say--TEDIOUS#wake up. block 300 bots. go to work. come home and block 500 more bots. spend evening checking tumblr to block bots. it's becoming a chore#it's starting to feel like I offended the tumblr gods or something. this is ridiculous. but like hell will i let them win#i won't let my follower count be 50% bots. i feel like a deserve a tumblr badge or something for fending off so many bots.#tribble#the trouble with tribbles#a very apt metaphor i think for these bloody spam bots; block one and five more come to take its place#but upside: the spam bots are helping me compile a Rosetta Stone for the word 'Untitled'. woo#also if you just joined tumblr and want to follow me: for the love of god personalise your bloody blog#i don't care if you have a icon or a summary. if your blog and likes are empty i'm blocking you#because i don't trust empty blogs and i really don't have the time to sort out who's real or not right now#(though if the blog's offering free mp3s 'just click the link!' or is advertising US keto gold coast gummies i know for sure it ain't real)#but hey! good news to people who followed me in the last four days who haven't been blocked; you passed the blog captcha test#anyway just had to get this frustration out of my system; gonna go block some more bots now i guess. i'll be very happy when this stops
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im so bad at math i cant do this
#I HAVE LIKE A TAKE HOME QUIZ THSTS DUE TOMORROW OKAY N I WENT HOME SICK TODAY (ITS BEEN ASSIGNED SINCE MONDAY)#AND IM SO FUCKING CONFUSED I DONT GET THIS AT ALL#ig that's what not being in class fr 3 days gets you#BUT STILL#IM GONNA FAIL MATH AND PHYSICS ISTG#I FAILED MY DRAMA TEST TOO. MY FUCKUNG DRAMA TEST ??!???????#i cant do this bro
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why did my teachers think it was okay to give us like one single weekend to finish all of our midterm projects and study for our tests.
#slight vent#i have 3 projects and 3 tests#i’m halfway through my lit/history project and halfway through my psych project#and maybe a quarter done with my programming project#which is fucking insane btw cause how tf am i supposed to code a whole video game in like 3 days on top of everything else 😭😭😭#and some things he hasn’t taught us and just thinks that we should just be able to figure out like HELLO???/?///#I DONT HAVE TIME TO TEACH MYSELF NEW CODE#ITS THE MIDTERM/FINAL FOR THE CLASS??????#and once the weekend starts i’ll have no one to trouble shoot my stuff and fix my bugs so literally i’ll be hopeless so 😭😭😭#my calc teacher JUST finished teaching us everything we need for the midterm TODAY. THE MIDTERM IS ON WEDNESDAY. BRO.#my physics teacher doesn’t let us copy down any of our idk test questions or take our old assessments home to study#*old#so we get to look em over for like 20 mins and hand em back. which doesn’t exact fucking help me when i’m studying for the midterm.#WITH NO STUDY GUIDE.#my teachers even said that this years midterms are worse than previous years cause they’re all in a row instead of split by a weekend#we’ve had 2 delayed openings and 1 early dismissal this week which means we have less time to work on our midterm projects in class 😭😭😭😭#i’m so overwhelmed i’m gonna explode#by the time i finish these projects i’m not gonna have anymore energy/time to study for my tests. WHICH IS THE HARD SHIT BTW.
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I can’t sleep so here’s a fun fact about me. When I was sixteen I took a chlamydia test purely to get a sperm shaped keyring
Sorry to disrupt your day like this 😭💖
OH MY GOD. You’re not disrupting my day at all, I love this so much😭😭💗
#LMAO I NEED ONE#brb gonna go take a clymydia test just to get one🏃#this is the best thing i’ve seen all day😭💗#asks
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Did these a while back for my MCs, thanks @shepherds-of-haven and @lemondaydream for the easy-to-use template!
#shepherds of haven#made my slight adjustments to use their handwriting samples#anyway i'm gonna take an all day practice test
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Did driving practice today. Actually did parallel parking practice this time, even tho I really didn't want to still. Finally got it into my head that I can maybe do this.
SO......
I have scheduled my driving test. For November 13th, 3 weeks from today.
#speculation nation#IM SO NERVOUSSSSS but i need to do it. i need to. worst case scenario i fail and have to try again another day.#i was actually gonna try to schedule for a week from today but they were full up for the next 2 weeks.#so. 3 weeks! my therapist is gonna be happy for me when i tell her haha#this is. something ive been avoiding for over 10 years now. but i decided at the start of this year that This would be my year.#Year Of Unfuck My Life. and im finally doing it. im going to finally get my license.#it's so. huge actually. a similar level of Holy Shit factor as me graduating.#which seems like an uneven comparison but honestly ive just been so so so scared of this driving test#an insurmountable obstacle bc i was stuck at school away from family to help me practice etc etc#very tied up with me being stuck at school for so long actually. the neverending purgatory of being Stuck In Place.#but my cousin lives closer to me now and hes been helping me out. and i am so very grateful.#augh augh augh augh. life is so busy and it feels like everything is happening at once AAAAAAAAAAAA#but im taking it all in stride. i am. oh god i might have to just practice and then take my audition video all on the same day.#bc i am too tired to deal with it rn and i have an exam tomorrow so idk if i can practice then. also i have to clean.#i will make it work. i will make something work. for the love of fucking god i will make it work.#no time to write barely any time to relax but thats okay i am Go Go Going and trying to keep enough time to sleep#(prior few nights being the..exception lol.)#i certainly wouldnt want to live this way for too long. but just a few more months. i can do it.#next semester hopefully wont be as busy. i'll have 3 hard classes but if im lucky they wont even have much homework.#i can do it. i can get through it. i will get my license in 3 weeks (manifesting) and i will get my own car.#i will find a new apartment to live in. i will Hopefully find a job.#within a year my life is going to be much much different.#my life is Already much much different than it was just a year ago. tho this year has been more... metamorphosis.#in a year's time. i will be 28 years old. and the pieces will Finally be falling into place (hopefully!!!!!)#for now. god i need to rest. will probably go to sleep early tonight. need to be rested for my exam tomorrow.#first tho i gotta shower and feed both me and the cats. yes.
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vent moment but my health is a bit worse than i let on, which is weird ik since it seems like complain about it all the time here, and apparently i also look sick, because two separate people in their 40s or 50s asked me, 24, if i needed their seat on the bus. kind of them. but humiliating nonetheless.
#medical stuff cw#i sat on the steps instead of taking their seat#vent cw#i have to take five different pills a day excluding birth control which i also take for health reasons but okay#i have to thank italy for its healthcare system because at least i dont have to pay a fuckton for all that stuff. except birthcontrol.#as i may have mentioned they found quite a bit of blood in my piss so im getting tested for ✨️cancer✨️#also because i've been having health issues which might be rated#my blood work is all off but i didnt get tested for tumoral cells specifically because i may have 'just' an autoimmune condition#so im on heavy duty antibiotics too now bc i also developed antibiotic resistance last year. anyway.#i need to take those and then they'll test my peepee again but this time they will also test explicitly for tumoral cells#because something is off and my previous blood work didnt point out what exactly#terrible anemia and other slightly-off numbers that however shouldnt be off considering my lifestyle#i eat almost everything. drink plenty of water. exercise. barely smoke. not even drinking anymore. i'm not too fat nor too skinny.#so. some of the numbers that are off dont really have a reason to be off which is why they are testing my blood and piss for cancer#but like. in 3 weeks because i have to take antibiotics and iron meds (not supplements. meds.) first#so my mind's trying to convince itself that i dont have a tumor. but what if i do? i know i dont. but not knowing makes me go insane#also i have to get tested for heart disease because that motherfucker is not working properly. doesnt pump enough blood to my brain.#i took an ekg and it came back pretty normal except for tachycardia#now i have to go get an holter ekg - but was told to wait until uni starts again bc i need that exam to be done when i have a daily routine#so basically they slap electrodes and shit on me for 24 hrs while i go do my shit around the city and then see how my heart behaved#because i cant stand without struggling to breathe and sometimes it happens when in laying down to.#sometimes i cant fall asleep because i cant breathe#at first the doc thought it might be a reflux issue but not. all good on that front.#so. we'll see. and i mean. i KNOW it's not cancer. like. i'd be dead by now bc i've been having these symptoms for five months#however. i dont know if it's not an autoimmune disease. and if it is? what am i gonna do?
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Imagine you have to set up yakumo's enclosure for the next couple months. How do you set it up and what do you put in there?
oh NO.! THE PROPPHECY HAS BEenm FUFILLED
i am standing in my room, leggies rooted to the floor. i am in shock .frozen and i have no idea how to proceed. there is a perpetual pathetically sobbing serpent under my blankie.
#stares at the camera and stage whispers#i can't be responsible for another living creature. i can't. or . er. i can. but I SHOULDN'T#i'll have to suppress every violent urge in my body to keep this thing alive for several months#i CANNOT fling him out the window. i WILL NOT grab his entire face and squeeze. I SHALL NOT chew on his tail.#now i'm reminded of that post where it's a pretty princess cage on the floor and comments go [that aint big enough for a dog]#and OP is all [it's not FOR a dog 😀]#yeah. that's me right now imagining a full grown yakumo in a cage by my bedside#SO FOR EASE OF MY IMAGINATION AND TO increase yaku's chance of surviving these next months#i'm going to try real hard to imagine him exclusively in pocket snake form (scrunches up my face in valiant effort)#his enclosure (crib?!?!) is flanked on all sides by eiden plushies#since yaku is an adult there is a smaller chance of him suffocating on eiden in his sleep. wait. actually#arranges the eiden walls to give some pockets of air. i don't trust him. he WILL suffocate on eiden given the opportunity#he gets one of those tiny dollhouse cooking sets for enrichment LOL#or i'll give him a bunch of those make-your-own gummy kits with elaborate setups and tiny egg gummies#crying yaku is the excuse i need to finally get a humidifier#i can survive not misting myself.. usually... but yaku will cry himself into dehydration. it's misting time#he gets an entire alcove closed off in the corner with his basic needs met. i cannot perceive#he can lurk in privacy as much as he wants. there are at least TWO hot rocks in there with garukaru's faces painted on em#there is a duplicate open-space alcove next to it for when he actually wants something from me LOL#is he a free range snake? can i take him to a bunch of restaurants and shove food into my sleeve for him? he wants to sample the delights..#tempted to put a bell on him just so if he gets loose in the basement i'll know to fish him out#but he's pretty cautious... he won't get into any fatal situations in the house right? ...does he know how to swim?!#at least one day is reserved for testing yaku's swimming capabilities.#he is going into the bathtub while it has a film of water. gonna test his traction. i hope i won't get panic-strangled#asks
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my fibro meds have truly destroyed my tolerance for antihistamines
#blue chatter#my nose has been v stuffy this week!#I take a Benadryl (already a bad idea) expecting mild spiders and feeling a bit sleepy#and Pass The Fuck Out for 7 hours#okay cool. I’ll do Claritin. it’ll take longer to work but that’s okay-#Pass The Fuck Out For 7 Hours#okay. sure. fine. I’ll take half a Benadryl; it’ll work less effectively but I rly would like to not be so stuffy-#guess what! Pass The Fuck Out For 5 Hours!#which is. teeeeechnically shorter. but still defeats the point#I’m gonna try half a Claritin but those pills are so small already#I know my gabapentin has warnings about anything with drowsiness as a side effect so I tried to do rly low doses#bc it also has those warnings for alcohol and I can drink one drink and feel like. just a tiny bit tired and otherwise fine.#so I thought an antihistamine would be no issue. I was WRONG.#also for context before my fibro meds I was able to take a 24 hour Claritin and be barely even tired#or take 2 Benadryl and feel sleepy and spidery but not actually *fall asleep about it*.#the spiders are unpleasant but Benadryl does work faster for existing stuffiness/allergic reactions. Claritin for me works better as a#preventative measure than a treatment once I’m already sniffly.#by spiders I do mean tactile hallucinations. which funnily enough I have not gotten at all taking Benadryl now.#BECAUSE IM ASLEEP#not awake enough long enough to feel imaginary spiders! which would be an improvement except I cannot keep falling asleep when I’m busy!#this is also why I’ve only been testing this on days I know I won’t have to drive or go to class/have things due that day#bc I suspected the sleepies would be worse even if I did not understand the magnitude#as a side effect I’ve now ruined my sleep schedule enough that my body is used to taking a midday nap and expects it#which is Not Helping
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bad news the 2 carts I have from my favorite brand both contain all 3 of the terpenes from the cart that I definitely had an allergic reaction to last night lmao 🙃
#actually every single cart i own has at least 1 of those terps#but since they don't all have the same ones at least I'll be able to do some ruleouts#gonna wait a couple days til this flareup resolves before i try that tho lmao#i don't think I've ever reacted to an edible so that gives me hope it's a terpene and not a thc allergy#tho im gonna avoid all forms of wead before i start Testing. for science#...which also means no melatonin gummies for now. cause taking those without also taking an edible is a bit brutal#sigh. those two carts are by far my favorite.#i also wonder if my sensitivity is seasonal tho bc I've used that cart so many times before#but this has been a rough autumn allergy-wise#and oas symptoms can vary based on environmental pollens#in any case! this is a doth hell scenario but i shall prevail
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me: constantly cracks jokes about how disabled/chronically-ill sickly i am
also me: surprised pikachu face when i get regular-illness-sick ontop of my usual-sick (as if im not suspected to be somewhere on the spectrum of immunocompromised) "this should be illegal"
#got a covid test: oncE AGAIN IM NEGATIVE BABY WOHOO THANK FUCK BC NOBODY THINKS ITD BE A GOOD IDEA IF I GOT COVID EVEN ONCE#BC MY LUCK WITH SICKNESS??? ID PROBABLY GET SOMETHING CHRONIC FROM IT FOREVERMORE AND MAYBE BE HOSPITALIZED AND ITD FUCK WITH MY DOCTORS#TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME PRE-HYPOTHETICAL-COVID WITH THE HYPOTHETICAL-COVID NOW MUDDYING THEIR VISION OF SHIT. YAAYYY#but also everytime i get sick?? i seriously get the worst versions of it just short of hospitalization (but still needing a doctor appt to#verify i dont need to be hospitalized). if im lucky? ''the worst'' will mean a cold everyone else in the house has for 2 days is one i will#have for like 4 and a half weeks or some shit. im lucky if the ''worst'' is length of time im sick. ill take that anytime over ''worst''#being worst symptoms omfg.. but yeah we think its just a cold rn and im on Day 1. and we know i caught it from my brother who is a prof#so. thank fuck it wasnt like a student gave him and then me covid or something. thatd fucking suck. but no its just a cold. thank god#wEAR YOUR MASKS TO CLASS#but yeah rn its just Heavy Head + runny nose + sore throat. so im okay. ill have to take another covid test in a few days tho bc docs#say to take it multiple times while youre sick UGGGHHH whatever its fiiinneeee i just wish more people wore their masks bc like??#im already nigh-agoraphobic by nature of disability. like. please wear your masks so you dont get me sick since im not gonna get me sick#bc now i got all my usual sickliness (cough + nausea + temp dysregulation + migraines + pain+ etc) AND ALSO this shit (heavy head +#runny nose + sore throat) like??? cool im like ×500 more miserable than any able-bodied person with a cold you guys tHANKS A LOT 🥺😭💀#me
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